#mom edition:
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awfulcake · 21 days ago
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You must be the lovely captain curly i've heard so much about! I do hope you're taking good care of my boy. (I apologize in advance for his behavior...) small question, what exactly is....'yimpy'?
Oh- hello Mrs. Daisuke ! Yes , your son is in good hands. He's a great intern and a lovely kid , keeping our spirits up and what not !
.. Yimpy ? It's just a drawing Daisuke made sometime ago ,, most of us enjoy seeing it aside from a certain someone ..
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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lomlompurim · 3 months ago
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Something born from a convo on twt
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(Bingmei is still The Emperor and The HHP Palace Master but he spends more time with his family and house duties, and working hard into his dream of having a BIG family)
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The tweet that inspired this, which I very much agree, omega Binghe supremacy
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ngatwa · 26 days ago
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I know how you feel about him. I watch you, Agatha. Just as closely as you watch everyone else. This walk with another woman's son on a road that doesn't…
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awfulcake · 21 days ago
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What-? No no , ma'am , no drama here !!
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Play Mouthwashing.
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florealegiardini · 10 months ago
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Little windowsill kitty 🌿🪻
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sonic-adventure-3 · 2 months ago
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it’s crazy that rouge straight up said this and people still see her as a mother figure lmaooo
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azertyrobaz · 17 days ago
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"You look like a Fink!"
From Jakob Jensen on Twitter
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t4t4t · 4 months ago
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Hi !
I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3
I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️
https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose
https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose
https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose
https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore
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caruliaa · 2 years ago
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
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grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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illusioncanthurtme--art · 3 months ago
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Hehe funny vine humor
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awfulcake · 21 days ago
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Captain Curly, I do have a small question. It appears Daisuke might be getting a raise? I was told that you might have some news for the crew and I'd hate for my baby to get his hope's up. Is he?
Oh , a raise ? I'm sorry ma'am but I've got no news myself. I have heard I'm supposed to be receiving a letter from corporate soon , but so far I know nothing else , especially about any raises. Apologies.
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mintjuliee · 2 months ago
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Kya's healing skills are so goated she said "fuck it" and revived all three of them kids by scanning them like a fax machine.
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crunchchute · 6 months ago
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Let's play fizzball!
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eccentricwritingbaby · 5 months ago
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family ties
lewis hamilton x reader
summary - lewis and y/n have been going out for about half a year and he can tell she’s hiding something, or somebody. her son, a little five year old boy that lewis so desperately wants to meet. but is y/n ready for that next step?
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it was a stormy london night, one that you so desperately wanted to stay in during, however you had gotten a call earlier that contradicted your feelings. lewis had informed you that he had a   standing reservation at a fine restaurant in the city and he was eager to take you to it tonight. so here you were, slipping into a tasteful and beautiful black dress along with your heels, getting ready for your perfect man. everything was perfect. except for one little hidden detail. your son. 
lewis knew you were withholding some sort of information from him, he just didn’t know the extent. he wanted you to tell him when you were ready, but he wasn’t sure of the seriousness with the situation. were you cheating on him? planning on leaving him? had a different identity? using him for his fame? he had no idea. and he was planning this nice outing tonight to finally get to the bottom of it. 
“alright, he’s got everything he needs. just call me if anything happens,” you speak to your ex-boyfriend, alex, the father of your son as he drops by in order to pick dominic up for his weekend with him.
“y/n, we’ve been doing this for four years. i know the drill. you don’t have to worry about dom, i’ve got him,” alex says to you as he begins to leave. 
“i know i know, i’m sorry. just a little paranoid, you know how it is,” you laugh off towards him as you both begin to walk out the door. 
“i understand. i feel the same when he’s here,” alex shrugs as he begins to walk to his car, dominic already jumping by the door of it, excited to have his dad for the weekend, “have fun on your date tonight with the superstar,”
“oh shut up,” you laugh off to alex, “you know he’s not like that,”
“i know, i’m happy for you. just be careful with dom,”
“i already told you i wouldn’t introduce him until i talked to you,” you say to him, “and we haven’t had that talk yet, huh?”
“hey i’m not saying you can’t introduce him,” alex says to you, now getting into the drivers seat, “i’m just saying after my mistake with letting him get close to laura,” he trails off with an eye roll as you both laugh about the disaster. alex had let your son meet his girlfriend of a few months and they had hit it off, but it ended as quickly as it started once she left him. leaving dom in the dust as he cried more than alex about the breakup, “just be careful,” alex reiterates. 
“i will be,” you smile at the two boys in the car, waving goodbye to them as they pull out of your driveway and into their weekend of fun. running back into the house, you finish touching up your makeup and hair, adding your jewelry, and layering your perfume before your doorbell rings. you exhale a sigh of relief, ready for a night of no stress and fun - a given when going out with lewis. 
“hey, you,” you smile as you open the door, leading lewis into your home. 
“you look beautiful, y/n,” he breathes out, his hands itching for your waist in order to bring you closer, “the reservation is for about seven thirty so we’ve got to get going,” you lean in closer to him, grabbing your purse off the hook and leading him out the door.
“you’re right,” you peck his lips quickly, locking up your house behind you, “can’t let sir lewis hamilton get a bad reputation of being late,”
“exactly,” he chuckles at your joke and yet his hands find your waist again, “but a few minutes can’t hurt,” and just like that, lewis spins you around to face him, bringing your lips to his yet again. once separated, you move gently past him to his car.
“are you coming or what?” you ask with a laugh, swaying towards his car as he admires the way you depart.
“oh i’m coming,” he sighs out, relishing in the way you walk and the way you look. 
-
once seated at dinner, lewis was shaking in his seat wondering how he’d bring up your hidden actions. he had no proof and no sense to ruin what seemed to be your perfect night. you had been bubbly and upbeat the whole time, looking gorgeous and over the moon happy with seeing him. surely the thing you were being sketchy about couldn’t hurt him? right?
“look, y/n, there’s something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” lewis calmly puts into conversation as you begin to sip on the drink you had ordered. 
“of course, what’s going on?” you ask him, assuming he would just bring up another weekend of travel or something along those lines. 
“you’re clearly hiding something from me, y/n. and i want to know what it is,”
“lewis-” you try to cut in with an exasperated sigh, but instead he stops you, continuing his rambling.
“listen i know it’s only been a few months of us going out but-”
“lewis,” you try again, but his head was spinning and there was no way of stopping his mouth.
“if you’re cheating on me just say so, we can figure things out or-”
“LEWIS” you raise your voice loud enough to get his attention, without spooking the other diners around you, “i am not cheating on you,” you roughly say in his direction, your eyes not leaving the meal in front of you.
“then what is it,” he pushes, urging you to uncover your secret.
“it’s nothing like that,”
“can you look at me,” he directs, holding his hand out and taking yours with it, “please?” you look up at him, and all your strength dissipates within seconds. 
“it’s not what you think,” you start, lacing your fingers with his to have some sort of grounding, “it is serious and that’s why i didn’t tell you,” his eyes stare back at you with comfort, pleading for you to continue without pushing you into uncomfort, “i-i”
“if it’s too much, y/n, you don’t have to tell me,”
“i want to tell you, i just don’t know how you’ll feel about me afterwards,”
“no matter what it is, i’m sure i’ll feel the same,”
“i have a son,”
“oh,” lewis retracts a bit, but not much, “how old?”
“he’s five, his name is dominic,” you go on. 
“and his dad?”
“he’s around, he’s a good dad, just not a good boyfriend,” you laugh a little at your joke and keep going, “dom was an oopsie at the time, but since i had him he’s been a blessing. alex - that’s his dad’s name - he is a great dad. we just figured we were better friends. there was no real connection, we thought it would be better for dom if we were great co-parents rather than bad ‘together�� parents, so we split four years ago,”
“can i meet him?” lewis asks with a hopeful expression.
“dom?”
“yeah, i want to meet your son. i want to meet everyone important in your life, and that obviously includes him,”
“i don’t know, the reason it took so long for me to tell you was because i don’t want him to get too attached to someone who may leave, he’s at an age where consistency matters,”
“i am consistent, y/n. if you want me, i’m here forever. i promise that,” lewis oozes sincerity as he looks you in your eyes, giving you the reassurance needed to confirm what you already wanted.
“alright,” you sigh into your glass of wine, “you can meet him,” lewis lets out a quiet cheer of triumph across from you and you giggle at his antics, “but i must warn you,”
“what? anything, i’m ready,”
“he’s a redbull fan,”
“oh no, now that’ll have to change,”
-
“thank you for dropping him off,” you let out a breath of relief to alex as dom comes running into your home. 
“you’re welcome, it was no problem, truly,” he says to you as he hands you your sons bag, “how’d your superstar date go?”
“he wants to meet dom,”
“oh?” alex shoots you a surprised look, “and are you going to let that happen?”
“i think so,” you shrug off, “i think it’s time,”
“good for you,” alex shoulder bumps you a little as he continues, “you deserve this, y/n. and from what you’ve told me about him, i’m sure it will all work out,”
“yeah i hope so, he’s going to come over later if that’s okay with you?”
“my son meeting sir lewis hamilton,” alex states as he begins to walk out the door, “that is more than okay with me,” 
-
“dom? i need to talk to you about something,” you approach your five year old as he is playing in the living room with his toys. 
“what mommy?” he questions without looking up, the toys in front of him grabbing his interest.
“someone wants to meet you,” you start with caution, “and he’s coming over in a minute,”
“who?”
“well…” you ponder off, not exactly knowing the right words to piece together, “he’s mommy’s special friend,”
“like laura with daddy?”
“yes!” you cheer out quickly, excited that he grasped the concept easily, “he’s like how laura was to daddy,”
“okay,” dom lets out, “is he nice?”
“yes, love,” you nod your head for the emphasis as your son gazes up at you, “he’s very nice,”
just as you finish your thought, the doorbell to your home echoes and you and dom share a look. 
“best behavior, dom,” you warn with a pointed finger as he just giggles in your direction. getting up to go and get the door, your little boy trails behind you with a bit of excitement. 
“hi, lewis,” you greet your boyfriend as you open the door, “come on in,”
“thank you,” he chimes in, clearly hiding something behind him, “and who is this?” he asks in the direction of your legs. with that, dom comes out of his hiding place behind you in order to greet him. 
“i’m dominic,” he squeaks out shyly. lewis proceeds to get down to his knees, holding one hand still behind his back and the other out in front of him for a handshake. 
“i’m lewis, it’s nice to meet you dominic,” 
“i know who you are,” dom quietly says back while shaking his hand, still shy towards the new man in front of him. 
“oh you do?” your boyfriend questions back.
“you drive for mercedes,”
“yes i do,” lewis smiles at him, sneaking a glance in your direction as you can’t help but blush at the scene in front of you, “are you a formula one fan?”
“yes,” dom giggles, “but i like checo,”
“oh man,” lewis shakes his head a bit, “then this gift is going to go to waste,”
dom’s ears perk up at that, eyes widening as he asks with enthusiasm, “what gift?” lewis laughs a bit at the question and finally pulls his other arm from behind his back to reveal a bag. 
“why don’t we move to the couch to open it?” you put into the room, encouraging the boys to relax a bit as you gesture towards your living room. they do as you ask, moving towards the living room and perching onto the couch. you take a seat next to your son as lewis sits across from him and you on the coffee table. handing dom the bag, he begins to unwrap and look into it, finally seeing the very small and adorable hamilton mercedes jersey. 
“I LOVE IT,” your son cries out, jumping off the couch and crashing into lewis’ awaited hold. as he hugs your son, you can only smile as this night had gone better than you’d hoped. 
‘thank you’ you mouth towards lewis, who only laughs and smiles in your direction, hugging your son closer to his body. everything would be fine. lewis was ready for forever with you. and you had just seen your forever fully accept him into your lives. 
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thegunslingerletmedrop · 7 months ago
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