#mod: this post has been a long time coming tbh

[curlygrant44]

Mod: Hey folks! This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and it's come up after multiple asks and conversations from several different parties over months, so please don't think of this as a callout! I'm solely establishing the norms for this blog to make sure that newer folks are aware of how things work here.

Pumpkin's crew, from his ship, consists of the following people, exclusively and definitively:

@/nursexanya

@/cptjimmy

@/swan-and-bolts

@/theman-withthe-dustpan

He does not currently have a Daisuke, which isn't really a big deal the way things are currently being written; if one is added to the crew, it will only be by the consensus of said crew's mods.

The only OC directly affiliated with this crew at present is Jon/June, the janitor, which was decided mutually after ooc discussion based on what made narrative sense to us based on what we had been writing together. Jon was not an original part of his crew before the anomaly and his acceptance as part of the crew now does not mean that we have retconned that.

All of our blogs are written with a serious tone, grounded in a hefty dose of realism both in terms of science when and where we can, and also in the human interactions. We hold ourselves to a high standard in this regard, and most of us very rarely allow magic anons, and only circumstantially do when we find it helpful to the blog in some way.

Because of that, while we may have plenty of humorous moments, the overall tone of our writing tends to be darker and full of conflict between the crew due to the circumstances they find themselves in. This is by design. We all met because of our desire to tell a serious story and coalesced because of our shared values about this and other matters.

You are more than welcome to send asks and starters and interact with Pumpkin, but here's a handy list of what to do or not do:

DO

Have a well-fleshed out character with an actual backstory

Give your character genuine struggles to overcome

Make them behave like a professional in a workplace

Interact with Curly in a professional capacity

Keep personal interactions appropriate to talking with a stranger

Give your character hobbies and interests

Make sure they behave like a reasonable adult

DON'T

Start hitting on Curly immediately

Provide nothing but surface-level interactions

Write with the primary intention of pursuing a relationship with Curly

Claim to be a member of his ship's crew

Flirt aggressively

Try to retcon your character into his prior interactions

Godmode (try to take control of someone else's character, in this case Curly)

Pressure me into writing my character differently

Have a minor (under 18yo) character

Write your character as being constantly immature or childish

If you're unsure and need clarification about any of these, feel free to send an ask about it. :) Once again, this isn't meant to discourage anyone from interaction. This is solely about establishing what this blog is intended for, and what both Curly's standards for the people he'll voluntarily talk to, and my standards as mod for what I'm willing to write, involve. If you find that what you prefer to write is on my list of no's, that doesn't mean I hate you. All it means is that our writing wouldn't be a fit together, and that you're better off finding another Curly to interact with who does enjoy those things.

As long as you're writing a realistic and mature adult in their workplace and behaving accordingly, it's likely that they'll get along with Pumpkin just fine.

[mellylari]

Just wanted to let you all know that while Muku and Yuki are doing their very best in the poll, they’re also doing their best at work too!

They’ve been helping me scan some items…

And helping around the store to make it look a lot nicer too!! Their bodies are so small that they struggle to handle most tasks, but their work ethic is astounding!! If only their strength was as much so :( poor Muku got stuck in so many places

Thankfully they’re finally free after a hard day’s work! And can relax with a bit of juice as a reward :) !!!

Please vote for Muku and Yuki if you’ve yet to consider them, they’re working very hard!!!

Semifinals

[pinkyjulien]

WIP Saturday 🙋‍♂️

Been slowly gettin' back into CP77 modding and wanted to do some comfy hoodie :3

First attempt was a port from Marvelous Designer

Everything was going fine, weight was decent, but trying to get the materials right was fucking my groove up

Wasn't satisfied with how it looked, the shadows were unpleasant, and couldn't find any materials that I liked - so I ended up tossing it aside (didn't delete it! Might rework in the future when I feel better about it 👀)

Instead, I decided to work from a Vanilla garment!

Pics from Khagan's Clothing Catalog

I love this hoodie and used it a lot during my PL playthrough - tho it's way too crowded for what I had in mind, a simple, comfy hoodie

Even if I was able to delete some of the additional bits, a big part of it is actually baked into the main submesh (like a lot of vanilla meshes)

After my unbuckled Aldecaldos jacket I feel more confident tackling heavy editing projects tho, so this wasn't TOO spooky 👌

First thing first, I deleted a big chunk from the left top side and kept the bottom part (to keep the assymetry and natural flow of the fabric) then I mirrored the right side and connected everything to the remaining left side

Fixing a mesh up means I also need to unwrap its UVs again - AND that means duplicating, moving and flipping the normal map to follow the new unwrapped uvs

Same with the mlmask layers, but that comes later 🧍‍♂️

The original Hoodie has a bunch of additional meshes; the sleeves and hoods variants are on a separate mesh that gets called by the OG entity

I decided to merge everything into a single mesh, easier to handle for me in the AXL structure later 🔎

Regardless, still needed to move the sleeves and hoods to match the new fixed left side (since its a mirror of the right side!)

Now that the meshes are fixed both model and UV wise, need to re-weight it from the OG garment 🤚 That concludes the 3D part

AXL side, I went with 4 different garment ent and apps to handle the 4 variants; default (hood down, long sleeves), hooded, rolled sleeves, and hooded + rolled!

A fun lil detail with this mesh is that the hood doesn't have any garment support - with this in mind I decided to use the T1 - inner torso - slots to allow us to wear vest on top of the hoodie

😫👌 Idk idk it scratch my stinky brain really good HGHFH I love it

With everything ready, t'was time to tackle the FUN part; the appearaaaaanceeeees 🤠

I first had 4 designs with 5 colors each - but it quickly turned into 6 colors each; first design being the "basic" / default one, that I named "edgewear"

Gotta keep in mind that each color has 4 mesh variants, so that's already 24 items

I then used the beloved "orange leather" vanilla hoodie with the white barghest face on it (the one I used through my PL playthrough! probably my favorite tbh) as a base for my next design, "quilted"

It has a cute skunk ass hood 🦨

And I'm currently still working on a third design inspired by Varsity Jackets, the... well gfhhg "varsity" design

All of the appearances are still Wips and might change 🧍‍♂️

and I'd like to maybe add one more BUT... that's already 74 items, I don't like having too much options hgfh but dynamic AXL makes it really easy to just go apeshit with variations

ANYWAY I felt like doing another Behind The Mod TM post :3 some of y'all like them and I like sharing my modding stuff!

[forbidding-souda]

HELLO MOD SOUDA, IT IS I, TO MAKE AN ASK AGAIN.

tbh this is soooo personal bc this is something I've been thinking on for a loooong time but intensified this year

so here I am to ask for hcs.

oh yeah the era is back. I said never again but I love the way you write him so idc!!!

Teruteru Hanamura × S/O who has to take care of their family ( bonus points if they have a mother who is Ill and if they're overworked )

( I legit just took a day to cry yesterday cause of the stress and I have such a bad habit of hiding my feelings that I cried all night and couldn't actually listen to any of my classes 😭😭 NOW I HAD TO WRITE EVERYTHING FROM MY LAST LECTURE TODAY UGGHH)

ANYWAYS IM GONNA DRAW MORE FOR THE LAST WRITING YOU DID SO I CAN POST IT CUTELY ON HERE 🥰

KISSES MUAH

— 🐭🌙 ( oh my god that was such a long message- 💀 )

Teruteru Hanamura with an overworked S/O who has to take care of their family

mouse lovie welcome back omfg ANDMAKE SURE YOU HAVE TIME FOR SCHOOL I LOVE YOU YOU GOT THIS LOVIE

-Mod Souda

❤ He understands fully. He knows all the right things to say when you open up about it.

❤ He is a talker but when it comes to serious situations, especially with his lover, he will sit his fruity ass down and listen. He doesn't need to give his two cents or general advice, he will simply just listen if that's all that you do.

❤ He's a bit too obtuse to say the exact words "What do you need?".

❤ Your family is HIS family now. Period. And beyond how much time being a Hopes Peak alumni can take, he's going to spend his spare time trying to get to know those important to you so he can see just where in your life he can fit as another person you can love.

❤ He is super homebody he'll be there if you need him, and ofc, he shows his love for food, so expect a good meal for you and your family.

❤ Getting a hug from his mom could make your day too. She understands the stress a child can go through. Her hands are warm they wrap around your head, holding you tight.

❤ Mans is going to start making the bed to have things be less stressful for you. Fluffing the pillows and everything. Will make a suggestive joke about it, duh, but it's his way of trying to be sweet. Acts of service.

❤ Fluffed pillows, a full fridge, and a surprisingly clean bathroom.

❤ "Sugar, I know you've been working real hard, I want you to know that I uhh... I appreciate the things you're doing." Fidgeting with this fingers, showing a tenderness as if you were the one helping him.

❤ You two still have the small moments where it feels like all the stress in the world goes away. The two of you sing together in the kitchen, you fall asleep against him while watching movies, he will give you roses and flatter you beyond comprehension. And when the weight of the world comes back, he'll still be there.

❤ Gonna add this too but you know he got hella money from having attended Hopes Peak just saying.

❤ He puts a lot of effort into making sure your family likes him and is comfortable around him. He doesn't want to add any distaste or any feeling such.

❤ He got that extra experience in taking care of ill family members. Will just softly drop tidbits of his experiences while also trying not to make the mood darker. In between his often 'aloof' sense of humor comes small sentences of something more.

❤ I am so sorry but I can't get out of my head Teruteru greeting your mom like "hey mama" all southern like a son from Louisianna.

[muzanswaifu]

Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

[pn-confidential]

Greetings. It has been a while-ish since our last post, however we are now back with quite a long one. Recently- a user who requested to stay anonymous has contacted us with quite a lot of concerning information regarding the behind the scenes and goings on of the plural nest staff team. This post is going to be recapping exactly what we have been told- with very slight formatting alterations for smoother reading.

Please keep in mind that while this post is incredibly long, our longest yet, I believe- it is imperative that you read through the entire thing thoroughly. Especially if you are either a current plural nest member, or are considering joining their server.

Content warning for the following:

Mentions of harassment

Dog piling

Staff misconduct

Predatory relationships/grooming

(Please bare in mind- everything in quotations was taken straight from the user who has informed us)

“ I think a fun place to start would be mentioning that the current owner, QR, never actually applied for staff and as far as I know, never actually passed through whatever vetting processes were in place at the time?

The previous owner, Bari, started acting... Really erratic in their last few months before handing off ownership, due to a lot of emotional stress around the owner *before them,* Polychrome, trying to beg to be let back into the community after being outed as an anti-endo, and trying to blame their bad behavior on a prolonged schizophrenic episode?

QR was a regular user at the time (and pretty new too, I think) and was mini-modding some sort of dispute in #ask-the-staff. Bari saw this, and instead of telling QR off for mini-moding, they... decided they were really impressed by QR's performance as a mini-mod that they just offered QR a position as a real mod on the spot, in front of the public. I'm not sure how QR rose to owner from there, but... Now you know!

I don't know a whole lot about the actual story behind Bari and Polychrome myself, but partner sys did just find the link to Poly's "apology" for their time as an anti-endo and the post where they blamed it on a mental health episode, if that's something that interests you. ”

“ Someone else we have a *lot* of criticisms of that I know is still current staff is aqua system. aqua system is also still currently staff in nest, and they were really regularly touted in the year or so after we stopped posting in the server as holding a pretty consistent "second-in-command" position in the staff. To my knowledge they're still in that position, and tbh their presence has been always been a lot of why I keep deciding Nest still isn't a home I can return to whenever I check to see if it's improved at all over the years.

I do not know if their views on things have improved in the three years since (I certainly *hope* they have, but... We don't actively go out seeking their posts anymore, for obvious reasons!) but I know shortly after they were elected to staff back in 2021, they used to post a *lot* of... Our friend group used to call it "sysmed light" takes. The one that stands out to me the most in my memory is that they believed that traumagenics were marginalized in the plural community by non-traumagenic voices, and they were constantly advocating for people to basically view traumagenics and non-traumagenics as two separate species that just happened to share the same community, rather than encouraging people to come together over our commonalities. I've also got a really CHOICE screenshot of them talking about how "yeah, medicalizing plurality is bad, but plurality is inseparable from DID/OSDD" which is a WILD FUCKING STATEMENT TO MAKE AS A HIGH RANKING MOD OF WHAT WAS THE LARGEST PLURAL DISCORD COMMUNITY AT THE TIME. They also *really, really* liked to talk about how they saw their plurality as a solely negative force in their life and something they feel ruined their future, which is. Also a cool view to have as someone so high-ranking in a community built upon solidarity and pride.

IMG ID: [A message from Shouto of Aqua System reading:

"I think a lot of it is yeah medicalizing all plurality is bad and no plurality is not inherently a bad thing HOWEVER plurality is inseparable from DID/OSDD and those ARE mental disorders and it's not harmful to acknowledge them as such

Not to mention non traumagenics tend to ignore how much trauma can mess and screw with your experience with plurality

We try to look at our plurality positively but it's still hard for me to act like being plural is something amazing and great when our system is traumagenic

plurality like any other neurodivergency such as autism needs to be treated as neutral: neither inherently bad nor good. It just is. For some it's pros outweigh the cons, for others the cons outweigh the pros"] - END ID

Aqua also really, *really* liked traumadumping in non-vent channels. We have a *really strong* memory of our partner system, during their time as a Nest mod, making an @everyone announcement reminding people that vents go in the vent channel, and literally an hour later aqua sys was posting REALLY HEAVY stuff about their exotrauma unprovoked in plural-discussion-1. This is kind of notable, because in a weird way staff accomodating for aqua's need to traumadump in public spaces is a large reason why #traumagenic-discussion exists? My partner system made me privy to a staff discussion where Aqua was. Bitching and moaning that there was a #parogenic-discussion channel, but not a #traumagenic-discussion one, and eventually they whined about it enough that the rest of the staff made it happen!

This is so WILDLY misguided because #parogenic-discussion wasn't created to be a Cool Treehouse for non-traumagenic systems (who... aren't all inherently parogenic, mind you,) it was created specifically to be a place to discuss the *process* of parogenesis, the difficulty and the psychological alchemy of creating a new headmate out of nothing. Pointing at that and going "but why can't traumagenics have one" is SUCH a wild false equivalence, because... If you want a space to talk about the process of traumagenesis, the actual ways in which traumagenic headmates are created, that's cool and valid, but... 90% of it is just going to be people talking about their trauma in a non-vent channel.

Guess what aqua immediately started using it for.

I know my partner sys pretty directly challenged staff on this once upon a time using exactly this argument, and got entirely shut down on the sole argument of "endogenics get their own channel, traumagenics should to." which. again. is not *exactly* how that story happened. ”

“ Which I guess leads me to my next fun story, which is my partner sys getting ganged up on and harassed by the entire rest of staff for... Knowing the history of why the server's staff was structured the way it was, and insisting that minors probably shouldn't be handling potentially volatile bad actors who could post gore and nsfw at them. Lemon and aqua were MAJOR violators in this story, and to my understanding they're *both* currently still nest staff *and* pretty highly ranked.

A long, long time ago, the interview you used to go through to get verified in the server wasn't run by a bot, but it was conducted by a real, live server member acting as a volunteer. It *was* really labor intensive, but it was also a really cool and refreshing experience, since you *immediately* got to have a fun conversation with a community member and have someone express interest in you as a person the moment you walked through the door.

These volunteers all had the "Helper" role, denoting that they were acting in an official capacity for Plural Nest, but were not Moderation Staff (who just had the "staff" role.) Since Helpers weren't expected to perform moderator duties other than passing off any problematic interviews to a *real* moderator, it was a position that was open to users of all ages, whereas staff was explicitly reserved for adults. At some point during the latter end of Bari's time as owner, after they started acting really erratically, there was a major turnover in staff, and all the new staff members were told that helpers were. A lesser tier of moderator, who were more focused on moderating chat and verifications in order to free up the Real Moderators for more pressing issues. Helpers, accordingly, *were* given the same permissions and as regular mods in the server's settings.

My partner system, who had been in nest for two years now and had talked to the old staff that created that system... Pretty clearly knew that was wrong, and were vocal about as much. They made a large argument that, with Nest being as high-profile of a server as it was, they get a *lot* of bad actors who sometimes post gore and nsfw, and make really violent threats towards staff when they don't get their way, and it was *wildly inappropriate* for minors to not only be willingly exposed to that, but *expected to moderate it.* This was not a hypothetical situation they were arguing, this was very much based on experiences *they* had to deal with during their time as staff, *as well as other staff* talking about how harrowing and traumatizing some of the things they were expected to moderate were to them, and then going "By the way my 14th birthday is coming up.”

Everyone was expressing at first that this was sensible and actually agreed that it was something they needed to work on. Aqua system made some wildly out of pocket comment that a lot of their headmates' exomemories as being literal child soldiers made them unable to see what was wrong with the situation, but they also eventually used the same excuse to decide that they were probably going to trigger themselves if they participated in the discussion further and respectfully bowed out. Everything was cool!

Up until about a week-ish later, when my partner system woke up to 6 pings and 500 unread messages in the staff channel basically calling for their head on a fucking pike.

Lemon collective (who, mind, was 13 at the time, just *Barely* above discord TOS age) and one other minor staff member (can't remember which, sorry) had made a post where they essentially went "Hey, we've been rolling this over in our head for the past few days, and we realized we don't actually agree with this ruling and feel like we are being infantilized, and that they didn't understand what changed to suddenly remove these responsibilities from their plate when they were just as capable of performing them before.” Mind... Lemon was one of the examples our partner system brought up when they were talking about other staff members openly commenting about how some of the things they were seeing was damaging to their mental health, so... that's cool.

Bari immediately threw our partner system under the bus, claiming that it was our psys' idea and all complaints should be aimed at them! Bari also made some WILDLY out of pocket comment claiming that our psys was using abuser tactics to get everyone to agree with them, and implying that psys' angle was "if you don't agree with me you're all inherently immoral and problematic”

and thus the mobbing began

Psys wakes up and sees this whole mess aimed entirely at them, and asked for a moment to backread the whole damn thing before saying anything. After taking it all in, they did eventually try arguing their point in good faith and continuing to stand by it, and tried to be empathetic with "I understand your frustration, I remember being 13 on the internet too and feeling like the stupid age gates were stupid age gates, but... I don't think it's appropriate for y'all to be interacting with bad actors posting death and rape threats” To which lemon retorted with something along the lines of "okay cool, still ageist," and. unironically hitting our partner system with a /neg tonetag.

A lot of other users were backing lemon in this fight out of nowhere as well, and going "Yeah, 13 year olds like you who are actively expressing this shit is harming them SHOULD still be allowed to interact with it! Yeah, psys IS being really rude and unprofessional and manipulative about it!” at which point psys' fronter at the time went "alright. the rest of the sys is probably going to be upset at me for this, but this is such a lost cause and they'll get it." and slapped that big fat "server leave" button. ”

“ Alright, one more story and I think I'm done for now. I don't want to go too in depth about this because A) I haven't. actually talked to the ex-mod affected by this, and B) I just kind of only know the general story beats anyway, but.

Back in 2021, there was a moderator and longtime community member, Abyssal Void, who got outed as being in a predatory adult-minor relationship. One of the other moderators had receipts *from the victim* that this was going on, and it's. Pretty hard to argue with a screenshot that says "don't tell anyone until you're an adult.” Reasonably, receipt-holding mod banned Abyssal on the goddamn spot.

The *entire* rest of staff jumps on receipt-holding mod for this, arguing that receipts mod shouldn't have acted without a discussion or a vote. Receipts mod very explicitly said at one point, "do y'all really want to have a multi-week discussion about an adult and a minor fucking before we do something about this" and *at least three mods said yes, unironically.*

receipts mod was also *denied the opportunity to share the receipts they gathered,* and bari even told receipts mod "hey, you should take a break. For a year. Because you're clearly not fit for mod duty right now” at which point receipts mod said "uh, no actually, i quit" and left server.

If I recall correctly this incident is actually what lead to nest getting *kicked off of plural hubs* back when that space was big and relevant to our community, because it was *so clear* this was a wild mishandling of a very active and dangerous situation. ”

All in all- as you can see, plural nest is a place to be avoided. The constant misconduct and mishandling of situations from staff- all that which has been mentioned in our other posts- and ESPECIALLY the final situation mentioned within this very post, regarding the groomer situation. Which I hope you are all aware- is very much potential lawsuit material, and definitely not some petty internet drama.

IMG ID: [An embed-message from HubBot. It lists Plural Nest as delisted from Plural Hub. The Delist Reasoning reads as follows:

"Due to consistent and recent reports of an unsafe environment, Plural Nest has been delisted, said staff even going so far as to reprimand a staff member for banning a groomer with proper evidence without referring to staff members, and (CW: CSA) asking for farther, more explicit evidence [of] sexual content with the minor, including the minor's identity."] - END ID

------------------------------------------------------

Plural nest is a genuinely dangerous server. One not even worth joining for the morbid curiosity of it all.

Stay away.

( Thank you to @/anti-endos-are-weird for providing the image IDS/alt text for the images )

[mathlann]

Heinrix :3

How I feel about this character

Uhh....I will link [here] for a much longer answer on how I feel about that man and my answer later down the line, but he is a ragged chew toy to me. He's genuinely such a good microcosm of the role of "privileged" psykers in the Imperium and all the identity issues that come with that and also the inherent cross-purposes between the State Power of the Inquisition and the Frontier Authority of Rogue Traders. And I say this as an expression of love: I want him to fuck off and out of the airlock.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Heinrix x Cas but only in the way that is toxic, or in an AU where they have different jobs that aren't at each other's throats. I know I only ever seem to post mean about him but I genuinely was almost swayed by the allure of the No Jealousy mod.

Heinrix x My Mutuals' Rogue Traders 💕

Heinrix x Therapy (20 year minimum)

And ofc, I am a Heinrizhai hatefuck truther from day 1 so...its not romance but I ship it. I think they could defeat Slaanesh.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

If Heinrix and Marazhai can't fuck nasty I need them to at least kill each other.

Heinrix and Abelard are a fun duo. I'm a firm believer that Heinrix is only maybe behind Abelard by a few decades at most. They have the kind of energy that says they've both been found sleeping with their arms crossed in front of the Cogitators while watching the Space!Blood Bowl.

Heinrix and Jae can hang as well but only when he's chill and not being a cop about it. I honestly would love to hear them talk religion. He needs some of her "chill out about The Exalted One" energy.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Okay, I've spent too long on this answer so, linked post for more controversial thoughts but the current Bugbear chewing on my mind is that I feel like the fandom kind of treats him being in the Ordo Xenos as just like...a job that has no bearing on his character outside that he's a workaholic about it. And that does so much disservice to the analysis of his character as an institution man™.

Like we cannot discuss Heinrix's Mercy path and inner iconoclast core without acknowledging that his development there is intimately tied to his struggles as a psyker within the framework of the Imperium's Dogma. Which, if he was a member of the Ordo Hereticus or Malleus, would be smooth sailing. But he's Ordo Xenos, which notably has not much to do with his issues as a psyker. Plus, Aeldari are people too, and the narrative I feel is pretty intentional with showing how Heinrix's xenophobia is more often than not wrong. And not even to say "Aeldari are always right" but rather Heinrix follows a pattern emblematic of the Imperium's xenos policy that values short-sighted blanket mistrust and paranoia of slights real and imagined, that often agitates and makes situations worse especially when it comes to harms ultimately originating with other humans. And so you can't discuss the ways Heinrix shows or feels mercy towards someone like Emelina, without discussing the people he actively chooses to not to extend those feelings towards. And I feel like that gets swept under the rug because a lot of the notable incidents involve Marazhai the Instigator and Yrliet, the local Bitch Eating Crackers, and so for reasons fair and not, a lot of the fandom is predisposed to seeing them as unreliable or deserving of ill treatment for their behavior in ways that don't get applied to the humans.

And honestly, if I had the time to soapbox about it I'd argue that the issues of Heinrix's job-dependence, impotent anger at his circumstances, and self-loathing are all things that make him a perfect match for the Ordo Xenos because it allows him to channel those feelings onto creatures and populations* that Dogma has taught him are unambiguously good to harm! That's intrinsic to the character to me tbh.

*Creatures and populations here acknowledging that not all xenos are "people" in the way that can be reasoned with but Aeldari are and that's who the game deals with.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

On the silly side: DLC where if you follow Heinrix's advice on how to handle the Drukhari, the Ordo Malleus shows up to try to beat your/Heinrix's ass. Genuinely they are having such a bad couple of months/years on a Dogmatic Rogue Trader run lmao.

On the serious side: Okay I'm conflicted about this because Heinrix xenophobia is such a core part of his character but also I do wish, especially if you romance him, the game acknowledged how out of pocket he gets if you keep the xenos? Because he absolutely is overstepping both your rights as Rogue Trader and Calcazar's orders to let you be. Like, if you decide to keep Marazhai, as is your God-Emperor-given right, he will use words with you that cannot be found in the Lectitio Divinitatus, but outside telling him "no" in the moment you never really get to address his behavior. I've said it in the past in another post but the fact that romanced!Heinrix will apologize to you for having sex but not for repeatedly undermining your orders...in front of your retinue and crew....insane man. Owlcat let me shake him.

[k1rameki]

THE TIME HAS COME EVERYONE. ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY EXTENSIVE LIST OF TABI HEADCANONS (hcs are under the cut plus this also counts as a little debrief of his human design bc jesus christ i put so much effort into making this man's design it went through a LOT of trial and error before settling on what i got now considering ive gradually made him less and less "human")

also quick thing b4 i proceed – please please PLEASE ask before making things w my tabi design bc ive seen a rlly cool papercraft made w/o my knowledge and that was kinda sucky so ya thats around it (other than the basics of no nsfw and such)

APPEARANCE HCS

first and foremost — hes half japanese because i remember his aside counterpart being japanese iirc and i thought that was really cool and wanted to implement that into my own little hc (also he speaks like a dozen languages bc of another thing i'll go into detail with in a bit

so many different facial features, scarring (theres a very elaborate reason for this tbh), moles, freckles, etc all bc why not?? (freckles is primarily bc of my bestie crow and now im obsessed)

lashes bc why not, give every man a pair of lashes i think theyre pretty

PIERCINGS. so many piercings. this is primarily because i am a very firm believer that tabi gets piercings done because he wants to feel human again so he finds comfort in decorating himself as much as possible for that reason and also the aesthetic

broken horn bc of the mod events, damage beyond repair and whatnot

HE HAS LONG HAIR BC I SAID SO ‼️‼️ i figured considering he's been invisible for so long he never really knew what to do when it came to cutting his hair, so eventually it grew out to around his waist, and he kept that hairstyle ever since (he prefers wearing his hair in a ponytail or smth bc sensory issues when it comes to hair touching his skin)

a lot of tater's hcs infected my brain hehehehehe especially the tail and his hands still being what they were when they were cursed (also. paw beans. /vpos)

HES TRANS ‼️‼️ hes also very dumb and has very little regard for his health and forgets to take his binder off a lot (trust me he gets scolded a lot for that)

GENERAL HCS

hes autistic and has adhd — the autism hc i lowkey stole from crow but the adhd hc ive had for a long long while now — one of his lifelong special interests is performing arts and musicals

chronic insomniac — sleep? never heard of her

plays like 5 different instruments but primarily specialises in piano and guitar

safe food is anything sweet or chocolatey — he has a massive sweet tooth and is obsessed w cookies and pastries in particular which ayana baked for him a lot (ill prolly make a whole other post for her in the near future but guys. pastry chef aya. hear me out)

an absolute boss at board games, especially monopoly, and he constantly loves screwing everyone over

extremely hyperfixated on pokemon and owns a bajillion folders filled with cards worth a buttload of money, and a dozen plushies + figurines (projecting bc pokemon is one of my hyperfixes dont judge me) his fav gen is absolutely johto

his eyesight is pretty bad but like. not bad enough for him to be needing glasses (unlike a certain someone cough cough agoti)

speaking of said certain someone, he and agoti do each other's hair a lot simply because its really fun and provides some stimulation, and also because it helps tabi practice with self care and such

VERY SENSITIVE TO SOUND AND TEXTURES, often times he will probably start crying if something sounds or feels wrong

sometimes he forgets certain words in english and has to resort to using what theyre called in russian

has the goofiest sounding laugh ever and i will die on this hill. when you get tabi cackling he will start rolling on the floor and making the most UNGODLY sounds

can speak like 6 languages fluently and a dozen others in simple conversation (NERD ALERT)

he sucks so hard at writing essays but is (for some reason) really good at maths

despite being the more serious one among his group of friends, tabis a dumbass and does a lot more stupid things than one would expect

[simlicious]

I am not posting much atm, here is why

heya, I'm pretty quiet on the posting front at the moment. This has several reasons. Since this might come across as a bit whiny, feel free to skip this personal ramble.

The good stuff first: I made a pact with my best friend and now we take a long walk together every week to increase our fitness levels. It encourages me to leave the house and get some fresh air and be in nature and it feels very good! We actually did a lot more together in the last months than just the walk, so I am quite busy and also often exhausted from the activity. I have also gotten back into Anno 1800 now that the game has reached its final state, and I am fixing some old mods that are not available anymore but I cannot live without, and I am also working on some of my own mods. The reason why I am taking a break from making patterns has mainly to do with the negative feelings I developed in the last months. I have been putting off writing this post for weeks, but my feelings have not gone away and I want to address this particular issue. Tbh, I often get aggravated when viewing my dash these days. I'm not the most emotionally stable person and my self-worth comes also from external sources, like feedback for my patterns, which is not ideal, but it is what it is right now. Lately, I feel that as a creator of recolorable patterns, I am being pushed deep into a corner. I've always considered myself a niche creator, catering to patterns kinda does that! But I feel like I am becoming obsolete, now that a lot of creators only make Sims 4 conversions and are usually not fully recolorable. I also fear that more and more creators will forget/will never learn how to make clothes and objects recolorable if all they do is add non-recolorable Sims 4 presets. I consider the Create-A-Style tool to be the most important feature of TS3 (together with open worlds). It is such a unique feature, and it breaks my heart to see that not being valued as such. I feel like we should celebrate that, and I try to with my patterns, but it's just so hard to keep it up when most creators do not seem to particularly care anymore. I wish more creators would make the good old Frankenmeshes 😥 I would love to see more ts3 and ts4 frankenmesh mashups. Creators would need to learn how to turn Sims 4 textures into greyscale ones and step up their uv-mapping game a bit, and then it could be a thing... There could even be an open library of recolorable sims 4 textures and remapped meshes that all creators could contribute to. That way, creators could use them and would not need to remake every texture from scratch by themselves. Over time, that would greatly decrease the effort that would need to be put in to make new creations this way... I know that most of you follow me because you really value my patterns and use them in your games, and I know that people who play mainly with vanilla content won't have that problem at all, as 99% the EA stuff can be recolored. But it's just that I see those non-recolorable conversions everywhere on my dash, and it is so disheartening. I guess as a creator, I want to feel welcome in the TS3 creator community, and lately, I do not feel particularly seen or valued as a member of that group. Maybe my Tumblr bubble has shoved me somewhat outside of the group that I would feel more valued in? Maybe I need to adjust my dash. But I do not want to unfollow everyone who posts these conversions. They are nice in their own right, it's just that I can't handle them very well right now. How do you deal with stuff that you do not want to see? do you unfollow people, do you block tags? I've been mostly avoiding my dash, but that does not seem like a good solution. If you post gameplay pics with my patterns or are a creator that makes their stuff CAS-Tool compatible, feel free to tell me below so I can follow you. Just seeing more people use my patterns would probably lift my spirits!

[stormyoceans]

i feel like in bl world it's somehow a no go to talk about why you dislike a show, because people always think it means you hate everyone involved, so it's nice to see that i'm not alone with my feelings about 4m. i was thoroughly disappointed by it and it's even worse considering it's sammon who wrote it. they (ceo and sammon) always went on about how they are working hard on the script and that's why it took 2 years and like... this is what they came up with? i like triage and love mod, but this one doesn't compare at all. the characters were flat and i did not care about them or the relationships at all (i will say, i liked the second couple much more than great and tyme), the mystery was okay i guess, but still lacking anything meaningful and even the chemistry between the actors, not just the pairings, but everyone interacting was so wooden and missing any depth to me. they tried and we know the actors can act, but none of that came across to me. and i 100% agree with you, the ending is so lame, they should have made this a tragedy and not whatever they tried to achieve with the ending they gave us, because that was just laughably bad imo. maybe my expectations were too high because of sammon, but i was just disappointed with this show :(

i honestly understand getting defensive over something you love or even just enjoy, i think that's pretty normal, but i also fully believe it's extremely important to be critical of the media we consume, and unfortunately i feel like over time 'being critical' has started to be equated with 'being hateful' by fandom in general, which couldn't be furthest from the truth: you can love a piece of media AND still be aware of its shortcomings, the two things aren't mutually exclusive. analyzing media and talking about different aspects of it is actually what makes fandom fun to me, so as long as everyone is being respectful im always going to encourage this kind of discussion

ANYWAY. all that aside, i fully understand your disappointment over 4 minutes, anon. it was one of the series i was looking forward to the most this year because both triage and manner of death are two of my favorite BLs, so it's just really weird to me to feel so..underwhelmed by it. i've mentioned this before, but my main issue with the show is that, like you said, i simply do not care about these characters. i wouldn't say they were flat, personally, because there was A LOT of potential that was not used, but it feels like the writing always remained on a very surface level and did not utilize the depth these characters had, and as such it failed to create a connection between them and the viewers (which is also why i think some of the acting may have felt a bit bland)

for example, i think they could have done SO MUCH MORE with the brotherly relationship between tonkladome and korngreat, maybe even by creating some parallels between them. like it's crazy to me that we didn't get a single flashback showing what tonkla and dome's relationship was like (and no, im not counting the one where tonkla killed their dad), or just that we didn't get more of dome's character by himself. 'he was tonkla's brother' is not enough for me to care about him dying or about tonkla's revenge. and now that im typing this out im realizing we never got a confrontation between korn and great about great helping thyme THAT'S INSANE (AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF INSANE). also not a single scene with tonkla and great other than tonkla shooting him!!!!!! all these characters could have been SO INTERESTING if only the narrative would have given them a bit more insight

and this is already so long so im gonna try to wrap it up, but i have to say this because me actually WISHING we would have gotten a sad ending is one for the history books. tbh i think there is a deeper narrative issue when it comes to great and thyme that im not gonna get into because this post will never end otherwise (to sum it up: they weren't treated as main characters), but MY personal issue is that i didn't want an happy ending for them, because at no point in the show i've been rooting for it. like take triage, for example: you start the story almost hating tol, and then time loop after time loop after time loop you see him go through one of the best character development i've ever seen and by the end of the show the viewers are BEGGING for him and tin to be happy and together. i don't wanna say great and thyme didn't deserve that happy ending, but they also didn't really earn it, which is why that perfectly wrapped up sense of peace we got falls completely flat and feels very out of place

idk sammon's concepts are always incredibly fascinating to me and 4 minutes is no exception, but while all the elements of the show had a lot potential, they just did not come together in a satisfying or coherent way, which is really a pity

at this point im looking forward to spare me your mercy even just to see if maybe these issues are more due to boc or to sammon just not being as good as a screenwriter 🤔

[just-antithings]

So I sent this to a different blog where op posted and deleted my ask because the exact type of people I described in here came to spread their bs and op believed it (not op's fault).

To all the assholes refusing to acknowledge that society fucking despises transmascs: look up Yamato (just Yamato or Yamato One Piece), a transmasc character in one of the most popular anime and manga of all time, on social media, especially twitter. The comments under any post about him are disgusting - misgendering, using the author's confusion on trans people as "proof", using character's transphobia as "proof", saying extremely vile and transphobic shit under fanart where he's depicted as not pre-anything (usually post-top), Waifu themed accounts including him. You can't know for sure if the artists drawing him aren't also transphobic tbh, I've stopped liking art/screenshots before checking if the artist hasn't liked one of the replies misgendering him, or said something themselves, or if the vibes are off.

On top of the someone coming in and proving my point that there's no respect for transmasc characters, it turns out they have a pretty transmed take on it as well... Yamato would be bad representation apparently, because he isn't your conventional western characterization of a transmasc but also because he is pre-op/t and doesn't pass and doesn't care to pass and that's not how transmasc should be seen. 🙃🙃🙃

I am tired. Every transmasc character (tbh the majority of all trans characters) gets brutally dissected and people use the author's incompetence as some form of proof that no canon trans character was actually ever trans. If this shit was coming from the dudebro parts of fandoms only, it would've been better ig, at least more tolerable. But it coming from other queer people? Supposed allies? Other trans people?

It hurts.

Also even if you believe Yamato isn't trans, the comment on how people treat his character still stands 100%:

He uses he/him pronouns IN CANON, but people still misgender him. Mainly because he doesn't pass;

The author/company has listed the trans characters' sex rather than gender on info cards accompanying the series and it's not just Yamato that is wrongly stated, Okiku's (trans woman) states male. But people don't really use her card to debunk her transness;

The author has included him in a non-canon art spread of all the girls (and omitted Kiku from it);

A merch company (so non-canon again AND not consulted with the creator) has included him in the "Ladies Line" figures;

People say he's been ruined under post-top surgery fanart all the time. His only value falls on his body and big chest;

Incels are mad because wanting to fuck him makes them gay.

Sorry for making this so long, hope the mods are having a great day!

.

[sol-consort]

I didn't expect the Thane post, i even forgot my og ask, but by chance, I saw it scrolling through my homefeed (which i dont often check bc im not super active on tumblr) and omfggg, the scream I scrumpt. What a happy suprise! We Thanemancers got fed GOOD. Thank you. My heart feels healed. Now, I will need to invest in creating a time machine, clone you, and send your clone back in time to work on me3. Perhaps make a whole army of clones to make each clone work on the writing for every romance. The Kolyat inclusion is peak. Thank you for not forgetting Kolyat, he really is so inportant to Thane. Geniunly made my entire week. I want to print your post out and chew on it everyday. Thank you!

🫡

I felt bad for taking so long because the chances of the original requester actually seeing the finished fic got more and more slim by the day.

And by some twist of fate you actually end up seeing it!! Even though I only started being active again a couple days ago?? Even though you rarely open tumblr??? The fact it was on your homepage rather than you specifically looking for stuff on the Thane x Reader tag???

I'm beyond happy <333

Most of all, I'm really glad you liked it! That fic might not have been the most intricate vocabulary wise, but god, it drained me creativity wise, having to come up with scene after scene, second doubting myself, erasing and rewriting.

I will never underestimate storyboard writers and script makers after this. It felt like a world champion boxing match where I only managed to win by an inch. Damn that story got hands.

I had to scrab the whole Party and Identity Theft II mission stages because words wouldn't register in my brain anymore. Maybe in the future I'll go back and add them, but for now I'm clinging to my beloved short drabbles.

Then there was this whole letting it rot in my draft for months out of petty bc I thought no one was reading my stuff either way, what's the point in posting it– I got upset at the idea I spent so much effort on one story only for it to possibly end up never read by a single person.

I tried not to gloss over Thane's condition or his impending doom. I didn't want it to be a full escapism–which is ironically my ideal style–but a proper sweet goodbye, a final dance, the chance to experience life by his side a little bit more, a small extension on the deadline before the curtains fall.

And I wanted Kolyat to share the spotlight as well, he deserved so much more. Shepard was there during the confrontation, aware of it or not, you were a turning point in his life as much as his father finally stepping up to take full responsibility for his past actions.

Kolyat and Grunt being best friends came out of nowhere tbh, at that point the characters had a mind of their own. And it hit me, Kolyat grew in the hanar world, it's mostly oceans, he must have gone to swim a lot, he definitely knows about the aquatic life.

What if I give him an interest in marine biology? What if that's what he's persuing in his study in uni, hanar granted him a fully paid scholarship—another bittersweet benefit he got handed in exchange for the ruthless job his father took—while working a part-time job himself, living in a modest apartment and leading an independent life.

But Kolyat is a loner. He has no friends, no significant other, or even pets. Which causes Thane great concern, Drell society values finding a parter a lot. Maybe that's why Thane moved into his apartment to help make him feel less lonely and subtly push him into making friends. Blaming himself for Kolyat's antisocial nature.

So, with Grunt being very fascinated by sharks, a massive extrovert, a natural leader personality, zero hesitation to speak his mind and aim for what he wants. He makes the ideal friend for Kolyat!

-

The wedding imagery and symbolism in the casino stage are my absolute favourite details. Part of it was because I saw a mod for "wedding dresses" back when I was playing ME2 for the first time, scrolling through the mods page for a nice looking dress to use in the casino mission.

Writing Thane's distraction lines was fun ngl. One scrapped line was about him walking up to a human security guard, mentioning how he's actually dating a human and wanted to get some advice on how to woo you and act, what do humans consider romantic?

But then I remembered Garrus has a similar line, just a little more sexual and I didn't want there to be repetition.

Thane didn't seem like the type to hit on the security guards like other characters, even as mere pretend. He's too devoted to his partner for that. Half of his lines were genuine, wanting to hear about the human's family back on earth as a way to help them vent.

-

Lastly, you're so kind <3 Thank you so much for your sweet words fosjofjskfks It made me so happy to receive this. I never expected it, which made it just more sweeter.

100% on board with the whole cloning thing, it should've been me on that ME3 writing board! I would've given Cerberus justice I swear! I would've kept Thane alive by the sheer power of love...maybe some prothean magic too.

Like you receive an email for him stating his concern for Kolyat getting into trouble again, he's been coming home more and more late each night. He asks you to investigate, you oblige.

First stage is following his son through the Citadel stealth style, exactly like Thane Loyalty mission in ME2. But it's much shorter and ends once you see Kolyat board an unmarked spaceship.

You follow him, ofc, try to confront him. He's surprised by your presence but then expresses relief rather than acting what you'd expect from someone caught red-handed.

He explains he read in an asari research paper about a prothean technology that could possibly help repair damaged organs, or at least prevent them from degrading even further. But the research has been abandoned since the war and developing biotics took priority.

Kolyat informs you that he's been investigating and managed to get a copy of the whole unedited first draft of the published paper. Some scrapped information in it were apparently the theorised location of the prothean artifact.

He's going there to retrieve it, with or without your help...but he'd be very thankful if you came. He doesn't know how to uh...hold a gun you see, some skills don't pass down in genetics.

You can agree - Thane lives, Kolyat lives

Both of you go there and you can pick only one other teamate. Kolyat is a bit of liability, but bringing him along opens shortcuts and grants you so much lore about him, his late mother, and Thane's past self. It is Kolyat's loyalty mission in a way. You gain the hanar Marine biology branch as a war assest afterwards. You Gain Thane as a new recruit.

-

You agree, but demand he doesn't come along - Thane lives, Kolyat dies.

He went behind your back and boarded a different shuttle, without the Normandy abilities...the ship barely makes it into the atmosphere before the prothean technology defences shoots it down.

Thane is very visibly depressed and apathetic for the rest of the game. You gain Thane as new recruit.

-

You refuse and demand he hands you the papers - Thane dies early, Kolyat lives

Plays out the same in canon. You gain Prothean research papers as a war asset.

-

You refuse - Thane dies early, Kolyat dies

Same as canon but no funeral this time since Kolyat isn't alive to make preparations. You don't gain anything.

-

I imagine the mission to be your run of the million clearing out a base, etc. Maybe throwing in some stray collectors who were hiding their for old times sake? Bringing Javik and Lara gives unique dialogue, but you can't bring both unless you sacrifice Kolyat.

Bringing Javik informs you early that this technology isn't a miracle maker and doesn't magically fix organs. It simply delays the inevitable a little bit. It grants the sick a short extension on their lifespan, the pain mostly disappears, their health is restored...but it's a mirage. Nothing in reality changes much, placebo is hell of a thing.

However, despite you telling Thane about the placebo, it still takes effect. He makes the most of his time, realising he doesn't want to spend the last of his moments in a hospital bed.

But if you don't bring Javik, then you never discover that fact, which makes the eventual death scene when both of you realise his health is still deteriorating, much more painful.

-

Ik you're joking about the munching thing, but if you want to save a copy for yourself or just to keep in your files and reread, then I'm more than okay with that. In fact, I crossposted the fic to AO3, which natively lets you download it in any format.

[slaughtergutz]

I wanted to ask about ur implant that u had to remove. did the issue arise bc it was one solid long piece? are u considering re doing it differently so it lasts? if so how would I go abt it? also how did u find someone who did scarification/implants? thx!

Yeah feel free to ask any questions you want!

It wasn't because it was a long solid piece, I think it may have just been the way my body heals. My body created so much scar tissue, it caused the muscles around it to stiffen which caused the pain. It's also what made it so difficult to remove--fwiw, my mod artist had never seen so much or had such a hard time with removal before. But that is a risk when it comes to implants.

When I got my ears done, I had talked to Samppa (he did my ears n tongue but not the implant) and he talked about back pain he experienced and how it took him years to figure out it was caused by his chest implant and the scar tissue that formed from it.

Hypothetically if you massage the area to soften the scar tissue, this should help the problem, but personally I didnt wanna have to put up with the "maybe" and just wanted it out lol.

I probably won't get implants again just bc getting them in and out and hoping it heals proper just seem like a huge pain in the ass to start over lol But I never say never.

I joined the Rusty Cyborg Body Modification Club on Facebook and found artists through there! It's also a good place to research more about procedures or ask questions.

Putting this next bit under a read more bc it's a little off topic and ended up getting long lol

My mod artist for implants and scarification was Shawn O'Hare. For transparency, I will mention that somebody contacted me privately about an ongoing legal thing they were involved in with him that involved an alleged fight and transphobia , but personally they were pretty shady in answering my questions, had misinformation (claiming he was banned from a certain convention that I point blank asked the con head who denied that), and also blocked me for some reason when I got my ears done by Samppa, so take their account with a grain of salt.

I no longer have the DMs since they blocked me, but IIRC their account of what he said was something to the effect of "if she wants to act like a man she gets to be treated like one"---NOT a direct quote, this was over two years ago---obviously not an okay thing to say, but I don't even have proof he said it. I'm not denying it happened, but in my experience, Shawn was nothing but considerate during both times I've met him and neither he nor his assistant misgendered me once--even after not having seen me in a couple years. As a they/them, it is extremely rare and notable any time I'm not being misgendered lol

When I first got my implant, I went in to get two, but he convinced me to only get one because I was recovering from a severe allergic reaction and still had hives on my other arm. That, to me, is a green flag when it comes to body mod artists of any kind because it shows they care more about you and the quality of their work than trying to make a buck.

He was also the only mod artist who was active in responding to me regarding the implant at all. (Personally, from reading the court documents and how even the head of the con was suing the other person, and how the person was responding to me, it sounded like they started the fight tbh. That's just my onion tho, Shawn hasn't spoken publicly about it and that person has stayed anonymous and didn't post about it publicly from what I've seen.)

So, fwiw, I'd say I vouch for him for these procedures and would call him a trans-friendly artist.

I'd also highly recommend Samppa von Cyborg if you're in Europe (he's based in Poland now i think?)

Anyway sorry that got long but I've been thinking abt all that for a while now lol

If you have anymore questions lmk!

[shivasdarknight]

top 5 glams (for any of ur lil guys)

I'm logged into Surkie rn, so that's all I'm posting lmAO

u h.

1.

This outfit's fun because in in-game terms, it was originally supposed to be a dragoon glam that I didn't really vibe with but it wound up being an AMAZING paladin glam and just casual tanking thing that became part of Surkie's canon wardrobe. Basically it was her first dark knight look, it became her main look during stb and for anything that didn't involve heavy combat in post stb-post shb (that's where the behemoth king set comes in), and it remains her traveling and often casual clothes. I just really like how the Holy Rainbow shirts look <3

2.

THE ZONURESKIN LOOK okay so technically i made this in post shadowbringers, but it kind of backdated itself and became her Look through post-stormblood and shadowbringers if she dared to do stuff with dragoon, and tbh even into endwalker and now dawntrail. Obviously given the look's inspiration since it's a reprint of the Ala Mhigan set (fending but swapped to maiming), it's definitely something she got in Ala Mhigo and honestly probably something Lyse helped her get to better reinforce her side after the numerous injuries that threatened her ability to be a dragoon. Weapon for this is Dreizack Recollection, which was restored by her sister, Altan, and given to her and she Will Not abandon that spear because of that sentimentality. It continues the trend of maiming being white for her since it started as dragoon so it was just better for muddying up her silhouette when in the air (but also white to her is more the Death Color than black is because of her upbringing) but it's just become her Thing as the "Azure Dragoon Cloaked in Ivory".

3.

The Troian set >:3c This is Surkie's new heavy combat look as of post-endwalker when UT completely destroyed her old armor (not pictured at all). Admittedly, this has been in rotation the shortest but I got super attached to it. It's still on my WAR glam, but it just feels more in place with "active excursion in the void" versus "low stakes jaunt around Tural", hence the swap to the Edenmorn gear (also not pictured). I'm pvp pilled, so ofc the archfiend gauntlets are actually on the glamour plate. Love Cylva, so ofc we have the Deepshadow axe (modded somewhat), and it's just...a really fun look that I'm obsessed with since I could never wear something like this in other MMOs as a fem player. Lots of gender euphoria, you see.

4.

Ala Mhigan Striking my beloved. YEAH I love the Ala Mhigan/Zonure/Ovim set A LOT and I've used it quite a bit, and frankly the Ala Mhigan striking is SUCH a good piece for this. Also really love the Crystarium knuckles for this (the sam side is fine, just not as good without the knuckles but at least you can see the gloves), and the Moonward boots. Sorry, Edge, Surkie just wears your boots better 🤷 Also love how her arm and scars appear through the one sleeve, just TASTY. (yes the sword is modded, leave me be). Another thing Surkie likely got in Ala Mhigo that I'm probably gonna canonize, this time through W'khittri. It also continues maiming's trend of white relating to death, but it's got that balance of white And black (which she's always seen as more noble and benevolent due to Nhaaman influence)

5.

Deepshadow and Troian just the other way around now. Hat's modded, leave me alone, but yeah so uh. This is a modified form of one of Lillith's glams, it just wound up working better for Surkie. You could argue it's still the black = Nhaama stuff, but this honestly leans more into the conscious edginess she picked up from Eorzean influence around the colors. Also the most brown I use in any glam. IDC if the Shiva gun conflicts, it took me Way Too Fucking Long to get the damn thing (before enw came out and the coffers eased that process Considerably). Also she summons it, so it's not like she has it visible at all times. ...Yeah, anyways it's like an Amano cowboy and I'm here for it.

Also a sprout called the vanilla form of the outfit (which isn't too different) cool so I Win.

[smallsimmer]

Get to Know Me- Sims Edition

Thank you @pixelatedpretties for the tag 🫡❤️❤️

I’m in the car riding back from dropping @pleaseputnamehere off back with her fam so excuse the phone formatting 🧌

What’s your favourite Sims death?

I haven’t actually *played* the game in years at this point, even when I did I never tried to kill my sims off intentionally so probably old age.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Alpha 100% I respect the people who use mm cc but I’ve always liked the alpha look for s3.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

I’ve never had to since I don’t play but when I did play I still didn’t, I didn’t really care if they gained or lost weight 🧌

Do you use move objects?

Hard to pose sims with it off so yes 🫡

Favourite Mod?

Pose player, I’d be lost without it.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

I think my first expansion was either pets or supernatural I can’t remember which it’s been so long but of the two supernatural was definitely my favorite.

Do you pronounce live mode or aLIVE or LiVing?

Living, I don’t like how aLIVE sounds.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Definitely Sparrow, I’ve had her in active use the longest and she’s gone through a lot of changes, I’d like to think if people associate a sim with my blog it’s her lmao.

Have you made a simself?

A really really bad one a long time ago.

Which is your favourite EA hair colour?

Can so tell these questions originated on the s*4 side haha, none tbh I make all my own hair colors.

Favourite EA hair?

I never use EA hairs but, I did download retextures of the island paradise hairs and I use the wet male hair that came with it sometimes.

Favourite life stage?

YA for sure

Are you a builder or are you in it for gameplay?

Neither lmao.

Are you a CC creator?

Technically ig lmao, I don’t upload cc publicly anymore but I still make/convert things for myself and my friends.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

Oh that’s so cringe, my best friend tho is @pleaseputnamehere (pls come back I miss u already) as well as my other besties @mal-functioning @xinfibloomx also my bestie Alanna (I’ll tag her when I get home I need to bully her into posting more)

Do you have any sims merch?

No actually which is funny considering I’ve ran a blog about it for like ten years almost atp

How has your “Sims Style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Definitely gotten a lot better than it was, first version sparrow was….. interesting. I didn’t know how to make skins or anything back then and I had a lot of friends whose sims looked a lot better than mine, made me want to improve my own sims.

Whats your Origin ID?

No thank you!

Who’s your favourite CC creator?

I’m kinda in the business of just using my own stuff but I do appreciate the people who convert poses and other things.

I mostly use stuff from (other than myself):

@pleaseputnamehere (ily)

@rollo-rolls

@ifcasims

@satellite-sims

There’s definitely more but I’m tired and blanking rn

How long have you had simblr?

That post that tells you said I made my blog on November 30th 2013 so my blogs turning 10 this year I suppose.

How do you edit your pictures?

I use Sara’s reshade preset she made plus actions in PS she made, other than that it’s a matter of what needs to be liquified what needs to be fixed and how lazy I’m feeling that particular day.

What expansion/ stuff pack is your favourite?

Supernatural, I used to make households that had each life state in it and play like that for hours when I was younger.

tagging:

@pleaseputnamehere

@xinfibloomx

@mal-functioning

[elvenbeard]

I read your post about headcanons about Kerry's sexuality, and I totally agree with what you said about headcanons not taking away from representation, but I'm curious what your view are on mods that change a character's sexuality so anyone can romance them? I know there is, or at least used to be, quite a bit of debate around that. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I'd hate to start any discourse drama on your blog. I'm just curious because I'm not even sure where I stand on the matter, and have been back and forth on it for a long time.

It's all good nonny! I have been asking myself that lately tbh, and I know I've been back and forth on it myself, too.

In this moment in time, I am completely indifferent on the existence of mods that do stuff like that. I don't condone or like them, but I'm not gonna do anything about them either. I know years ago in the Dragon Age fandom there was huge discourse and drama around a mod that made Dorian (canonically gay, his whole character arc revolves around that fact, just in case you're not into that series) available to be romanced by a female Inquisitor. And back then I was absolutely livid. Dorian was (and still is) one of my fave characters in the DA universe. And honestly, I couldn't even tell you now if anything ever came off of that whole drama (but I doubt it, cause it rarely does) - that's how pointless Internet drama really is. In the worst case, the person who made that mod got driven out of fandom entirely and now has negative associations with the queer community as a whole.

Do I think that mods that change a queer character's canon orientation are amazing? No, not really, and most of the time, especially in Dorian's case, they make no sense at all for the characters' arcs. I personally would never wanna play them and I'd also rather not know why some people make them.

(I'm completely biased here btw, because I do not feel as negatively about mods that change a canonically straight character's orientation to something queer. Simply because I'm queer and greedy for more representation, because there cannot be enough XD Does that make me a hypocrite to some people? Maybe, but honestly, I don't really care. And as I said in my post, and as you mentioned, even the "straight mods" do not take away from any queer representation that canonically exists.)

The thing is, me and others screaming and yelling about "straight mods" (or "bi mods" for characters that are explicitly gay/lesbian) is not gonna change a thing, mods like that are always gonna exist. Content I don't agree with is always something I can come across at random, and I keep finding new things that make me go "nope!" regularly. And even if I'm not screaming and yelling, and instead try to be reasonable, talk objectively with the mod makers as for xyz reasons their mod is not good in my eyes... I'm too old for that shit XD I'd rather use my energy and limited time to make a lot of gay stuff featuring my favourite queer blorbos instead of arguing with strangers why a straight!Dorian or bi!Judy or straight/bi!whoever mod is bad. Fandom should be a hobby, not activism, and you can go about fighting homophobia in a lot better ways than arguing about who certain pixel people would like to bone or not.

I wish there were - or maybe there are and I haven't figured it out yet - ways to filter stuff I don't wanna see on Nexus for example like there are on tumblr, ao3, any other social media site with a good tagging system and means to block tags or phrases or users. Curating your own experience and finding people who share your interests is so important and has really improved my time in fandom a lot over the last years. And it's good to have friends you can rant to about stupid things that upset you in private, definitely XD

So, on that note, ship whoever you wanna ship in this context, but tag it so that people who don't wanna see it can avoid it and don't get mad. Also sorry this got long and slightly off topic, I'm a chronic rambler.

(also, if anything's unclear, feel free to reach out again! sometimes I don't express myself as well as I think I do XD)