#moceit love confession
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analoceits · 6 months ago
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do you have any more complicated polycule headcanons for sanders sides? seeing your post filled me with a sense of This Person Is Correct and now I want to pick your brain for more
oh fuck YEAH
post asker is talking abt here
prinxiety used to have a LOT of tension between them. everyone else thought they were OBVIOUSLY crushing and eventually convinced them to date. this lasted a week and went So Horribly it is never spoken of. virgil and roman have resolved to just make out when they feel like it and that deals with the tension.
logan tried to graph out the individual relationships in the polycule exactly Once, because they wanted to explain things to remy. the project kept logan awake for three days and she had to be physically dragged to bed.
moceit are the only two in the polycule to have ever actually been married. mind you, this was all an elaborate scheme by janus to get them married bc he was SO PISSED at patton from their last argument he NEEDED to divorce him. they have tried to get remarried, but logan ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to do all that fucking paperwork again.
logince is the only relationship in the polycule to have never broken up, to everyones BAFFLEMENT bc they get into explosive arguments on the regular. turns out, when they got together, they both agreed that whoever initiates a break-up "loses the relationship" and after everyone found that out it makes Complete Sense.
logan ALSO has their own boyfriend leaderboard, BUT hers is private and she never tells anyone the rankings. they only announce if she has changed the rankings. (janus has figured out that virgil is at the top permanently bc logan NEVER announces a change in rankings after virgil has done something.)
analogical broke up exactly One time. no one remembers why BUT everyone remembers that virgil and logan were both so fully DEVASTATED that everyone worked together to get them to start dating again. janus stopped trying to break up analogical after this.
anxceit dated pre-polycule but took a While to get back together once the polycule started. everyone predicted this would happen, to virgil and janus's annoyance. whenever anxceit did start dating again they both immediately agreed they could NEVER tell anyone else bc they would NEVER hear the end of it. this lasted a week, before they threatened to break up which each other in a public argument.
loceit is not dating, despite the fact they are obviously in love with each other and actively flirting. this is because logan is waiting for janus to confess, and virgil has promised janus he will Literally Kill Him if he gets with logan BEFORE managing to stay with patton for six months straight without a break up to prove that he can be a Mildly Functional Partner. this will never happen.
every single time moceit breaks up, no matter WHAT the reason, no matter HOW AMICABLE, virgil and janus get into a physical fight. after a while everyone realized they both just like the adrenaline rush of fighting and they use the break up as an excuse, so they just leave them to it.
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not-sure-what-im-feeling · 8 months ago
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Ultimate Writing Masterlist
Hi! This is my masterlist of all my writing I’ve posted. Enjoy!
Sanders sides fanfiction:
(in order of oldest to newest)
Of Stars and Earth — Logan is the main character, god au, logicality, unfinished, Ao3 link. 3/? Chapters and 4,920 words.
Hey bbg — Prinxiety, heavy angst, it’s whump really, completed, Ao3 link. 1,963 words. [Disclaimer: i don’t really like hey bbg, but you are welcome to read it regardless. Once again— i don’t like this one 😭]
What if we cuddled in the tech booth — Prinxiety, hurt/comfort, completed, Ao3 link. 518 words.
Just Fine — Analogical, hurt/comfort, Logan angst, completed, Ao3 link. 1,198 words.
Complimentary — Logan is the main character, Orange is a character here, some light angst, unfinished(?), Ao3 link. 2/? Chapters and 2,018 words.
A Cup of Cold Tea (and a Warm Heart) — Whump, heavy angst, Whumpee Patton, caretaker Janus, post-whump, completed and also unfinished at the same time, Ao3 link. 746 words.
You Look Like You Could Use a Hand — Analogical, accessory swap, fluff, as in pure tooth rotting fluff it’s insane, completed, Ao3 link. 538 words.
Caught in the Cobwebs — Moceit, Virgil is a bitch, Janus is a bitch, Post Anxceit, completed, Ao3 link. 2/2 Chapters and 932 words.
Helpless — Patton whump again, it’s tied into a cup of cold tea, whump, Whumpee Patton, failed escape, completed, Ao3 link. 593 words.
Alone — Whump, Whumpee Patton, tied into a cup of cold tea, solitary confinement, completed, Ao3 link. 359 words.
(Not) a Dog — Analogical, Janus is a bitch, Virgil is a bitch, they both kind of suck here, dehumanization, hurt/comfort, completed, Ao3 link, 976 words.
i dont wanna be your friend — Prinxiety, genderswap, drunk confessions, love confessions, the two are named Rose and Victoria (roman and Virgil) and are absolute dorks of lesbians, completed, 4/4 chapters, Ao3 link, 4476 words
the hand that feeds deserves to be bitten when it beats— Whump, Virgil is getting beat up, self-insert, you are the one hurting him, please mind the warnings, dehumanization, muzzles, biting, blood, completed, Ao3 link, 1107 words.
Remember Your Place — Whump, Roman is getting beat up, please mind the warnings, dehumanization, pet whump, royal/manor whump, ballroom whump, incomplete, 1/? chapters. Ao3 link, 1454 words.
Original writing
The ivory isle — Uncompleted, Royal Road link, 1/? Chapters.
To Be Hated — the ivory isle snippet, takes place after the story, tbh you can read this but it probably won’t make much sense, Tumblr link. 2045 words.
Oh no. — snippet for my #blessed ocs, Tumblr link. 735 words.
Weaknesses and Trustings — Whump, generic whump, nameless characters, intoxication, creepy Whumper, nothing suggestive or nsfw though, Tumblr link. 1027 words.
There Isn’t Any Music — Whump, generic whump, death, nameless characters, Tumblr link. 357 words.
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dndeceit · 24 days ago
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Fander Fic Rec Friday (#9)
(Crossovers and Fandom Fusions)
In the Frostweald Forest by LeFay_Strent Fantasy/Critical Role AU (Gen) Rating: T Running from a bad situation at home, Patton takes a risk and disappears into the cursed, wintery woods of the Frostweald Forest. His otherwise lonely struggles in the remote wilderness are brightened somewhat by his only neighbor: an unusual spider-like creature also inhabiting the woods. Notes: Set in Tal'Dorei, from Critical Role's primary setting of Exandria. And I'm a fan of both CritRole and D&D, sure, but I love, love, love a survival story, and this has a lot of that. And the shyly developing friendship between Patton and Virgil is so sweet in this.
growing up, and other lies told to children by arealsword Matilda AU (Gen, Moceit-ish) Rating: T Janus doesn't know what to make of the strange, serious boy that keeps visiting his bookmobile. The best he can do for Logan is keep offering books, advice, and the ear of an adult that doesn't entirely suck. Notes: Matilda AU where Janus is a rogue librarian with Trauma, Patton is a teacher struggling under the shadow of his terrifying aunt (also with Trauma), and Logan, apparently, has psychic powers.
Eye, Me, Myself by arealsword Canonverse/The Magnus Archives (Gen, Jon/Martin) Rating: T A very uncomfortable interview with a(some) very uncomfortable person(people) during a very uncomfortable time(the apocalypse). Note: Confession - I have never listened to The Magnus Archives, but I still found this one captivating. Also, everyone is having the worst time.
Windows and Daemons by alicat54c Canonverse/His Dark Materials (Gen) Rating: G Thomas finds himself transported to the His Dark Materials universe, and what happens to his sides may shock you! Notes: I love daemon AUs in general, but the dimension travel element of "oops, daemons are a thing now, apparently" makes this very fun and different.
Song and a Spark by alicat54c Canonverse/Girl Genius (Gen) Rating: G Thomas should not have Touched The Thing in his father's shed. Now he and his sides are stuck in the Mad Science Dimension doing Mad Science Things. Notes: I love the webcomic Girl Genius, and this is such a weird and wonderful crossover with it. (Also, not enough fics reference Thomas's chemical engineering background? In my opinion?)
voices in my head by world_wanderer Canonverse/Be More Chill (Gen) Rating: T The sides suddenly find themselves dealing with an invader in the Mindscape. Can they save themselves and Thomas from the influence of the SQUIP? Notes: Have not seen Be More Chill either, but I didn't let that stop me. Not a lot of canonverse fics place the sides against forces from outside Thomas's mind. It makes for a very interesting story.
The Worst Part by TheAsexualofSpades Merlin AU (Anxceit) Rating: T Janus is the prince of a kingdom where magic is punishable by death. Virgil, his manservant and confidante, is also secretly a sorcerer. Notes: Merlin's another fandom I only really know in broad strokes, but the Anxceit here is good. It really hits the right notes, imo, of personalities constantly, loudly clashing while also, more quietly, being willing to fight the world for each other.
In Memoriam by Acantha_Echo Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Roman comes back from the Imagination with no memory of his identity or the other sides. The others embark on a quest back into the Imagination to find out why. Notes: Not technically a crossover or a fusion, the sides take a stroll through a version of Narnia in Thomas's imagination, trying to figure out what happened to cause Roman's amnesia.
The Cat, The Prince, and The Doorway to Imagination by Karalora Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T After Putting Others First, Roman tries to reorient himself by inviting the others along on a nostalgic adventure in a beloved work of fiction, but for some reason the Imagination seems determined to cast him in a much less heroic role than he would like... Notes: A similar premise and themes to In Memoriam, but it approaches them very differently. WIPs
Infinite Respawns: Stories About Those Who Have Been Chosen by Genderqueerglacier Minecraft AU (Gen) Rating: M Some people are blessed—though others would say cursed—to revive after every death. Some of these so called adventurers go on to attempt great things, others bring nothing but misery, and still others are just trying to get by. Notes: This is such a creative in-universe interpretation of players respawning. I love stories that work game mechanics into the story in interesting ways like this, and the idea that the player characters are literally, fundamentally different from NPCs within the world they live in opens a lot of interesting doors. Warnings: Sad. Very sad. They all die a lot, and not all of them are entirely happy to keep coming back. Waves by LumaCrossing Canonverse(?)/YouTube RPF/Egos (Gen) Rating: T The fictional characters created by various YouTube personalities are suddenly appearing in real life (some possessed of unusual powers that shouldn't be possible). Now all of them are trying to find their way home in one way or another. Notes: I haven't delved into the Egos stuff very much (mostly because I wouldn't know where to even begin), but this is still a very enjoyable story without that knowledge. Though there's one twist that I wish I'd seen coming, that had me going back chapters to reread wondering if there was something I'd missed...
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t4t-apexeclipse · 10 months ago
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i must confess i mostly ship moceit for the aesthetic not so much anything else just. dad x closet dad
guy that practically lives at home depot x guy that orders his stuff online so he doesn’t have to show his face at home depot
loud and proud football fan (go buccaneers!) x refuses to watch football out of spite against stereotypes
master of the grill x “i just prefer cooking indoors” (but does make a hell of a burger)
idk why im feeling dad janus so hard, i just love the idea of him having “dad traits” and being embarrassed about it jajdjdfj idk why???
“but janus is a mom-" HISSSS NO HES A DAD LEAVE ME ALONE /lh
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exhaustedfander · 4 years ago
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For the one shot requests: Perhaps some Moceit fluff? Maybe some cuddles? Whatever you’d like 💙
In all fairness this said “whatever you’d like” so it’s got some angst, but not to worry. It’s my writing, so it’s a good old hurt/comfort with plenty of cuddling. I’d love to hear what you guys think, and reblogs are always appreciated!
ao3 link
My writing master post
word count: 2,952
Break a Little, Heart of Mine [Moceit]
Janus didn’t know how he’d gotten to this point. He thought back to when things first started when everything was just beginning to creep in, all so new and underdeveloped. He should’ve cut himself off from the feelings the moment they arose and now it was far too late to amputate, the disease having long since spread. There was no saving him now.
There were so many instances where he could’ve left, abandoned the newly forged relationships, and shut himself off again. It would’ve been easier that way, going back to being the villain, despised and untrusted. After all, who in their right mind puts their trust in a liar?
But he isn’t just a liar, now is he? He’s so much more than that, so much more than he might like to admit. And now the others knew too. Self-preservation is quite hard to villainize once you see it for what it is. Did they see him for what he was? He sincerely hoped not.
He shouldn’t have let them in, the others. He had a job to do, that’s the extent of it, and he did his job well. He’d maintained the persona of a wrongdoer for so long because it suited him. No one needed to trust him, not even Thomas, so long as he could do his job in peace. He would help Thomas without the gift of praise, he would do it all in spite of the other’s contempt, he would do anything necessary to ensure Thomas had the best life possible even if he hated him. Did it sting? Knowing the others had so much distain for him, that his host despised his very existence? What a preposterous question.
It hurt like hell. It burned, festering like a fire in the pit of his stomach for years with only Remus for company. Virgil had been there once, they’d been close. Janus didn’t like to think about that, knowing dwelling on the past would only distract him.
He supposed for a while not absolutely everyone despised him. Remus had never seemed to have any ill-will towards him, though it would be hard to tell if he did. The way Remus treated a friend and a foe was eerily similar. Janus had long since stopped trying to dissect Remus, looking for some hidden, deeper person hidden beneath the gore and crude humor. Remus was Remus, regardless of anything else. He was unabashedly himself, regardless of how much others might wish him to act otherwise. Honestly, he was a consistency that Janus was relieved he could always fall back on. He got on Janus’s nerves at the best of times, but that didn’t change the fact that they found company in being misfits.
Except…Janus wasn’t sure how much of an outcast he was now. Not after everything that had happened, not after Thomas had said those words that carried more weight than he would ever comprehend: I don’t know that we are. Roman had challenged Janus’s being present and Thomas had disagreed, rebelling against his hero.
Janus had never required Thomas’s respect, he’d never needed his admiration but now that he had it? He hardly knew what to make of it. It would be a lie to say that Janus hadn’t imagined a world in which Thomas cared for him and included him just as he did the other sides, but that had been nothing more than a fantasy as far as he was concerned. He’d never truly anticipated it, and now here he was, accepted, welcomed into the conversation, even.
And then there was Patton.
Janus’s feelings for Patton had always been fairly complicated. Their very existence made opposition inevitable; morality and deceit go about as hand-in-hand as oil and water. He’d fought to get his voice heard for years, but Patton wouldn’t allow it, too lost in a fantasy world where no wrong existed and lies were a gateway to evil. For some time Janus considered he might’ve hated Patton for what he’d put him through.
It was difficult, hating him, even after everything. Patton was so soft, so full of love for everyone except him. Janus knew that despite everything, Patton was well-intentioned in everything that he did. He would never want to hurt someone, certainly not Thomas, and yet once he had he lost control.
Janus had to admit, seeing Patton transform into a giant video-game frog with rippling abs was just about the strangest thing he’d ever borne witness to. Patton’s meltdown was not without consequences, either. Finally, after so many years of abject denial, Paton was forced to face the fact that morality is by no means a black-and-white issue. Selfishness is not equal with immorality and gluttony, and for the first time in front of the light sides, Janus presented himself fully. He wasn’t just Deceit, nor self-preservation alone; he was Janus.
Sharing his name hadn’t been something he’d intended to do, but Roman had questioned him with fear, asking how he could possibly be trusted. Revealing himself was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever get the chance to do, that he’d ever have the courage to do. It wasn’t something he’d ever be able to take back even if he wanted to.
He’d dreamt of it sometimes, removing a glove, holding up his right hand and saying, clearly and confidently: “My name is Janus.”
This dream had never included Roman laughing in his face. It was instinctual, the retort he made comparing Roman to his twin. It wasn’t fair to either of them in the end, especially not Remus, but even now Janus didn’t fully regret what he’d done. It had taken so much to tell him, he knew Roman knew it wasn’t easy, and yet he’d laughed at him. He’d insulted him. And then he’d promptly sunk out when he got his feelings hurt.
So Thomas’s acceptance of him was something he hadn’t been counting on, but Patton? Now that was something else entirely.
Patton had been the first to use his name. Janus didn’t want to admit the way he liked his name on Patton’s lips, hearing it breathed out by someone who’d opposed him for so long. And he’d asked, genuinely and frightened if there was a limit to saying sorry to someone. Patton had hurt Thomas and Janus could tell how much it broke his heart knowing that. Now more than ever Janus could see that Patton had been doing his very best, flawed though his views were. He was so frightened and ill-equipped and now he seemed terrified that Thomas’s love for him would waver because of the mistakes that he’d made.
Maybe that’s where it all started, the feelings that had since invaded every inch of him. Patton had used his name and it had made him feel soft, and seen, and happy. Janus was foolish enough to indulge in this joy, telling himself that it was a small allowance he wouldn’t give into. He certainly wouldn’t endear himself to Patton, certainly, he had more self-preservation than that.
As it turned out, no. No, he didn’t.
He was instead spending more and more time with Patton, accompanying him in the common room or while he was (attempting) to bake. Janus often had to offer aid with that, otherwise, Patton tended to get distracted. They're time spent together is something that, despite his better judgment, was something Janus had become dangerously fond of. Patton himself, it seemed, was someone he’d become dangerously fond of.
Once the feelings began to escalate Janus did everything he could to bite them back and simply enjoy time with his friend. But then Patton had kissed him.
They’d been watching a movie alone together in the common room, a film Janus can’t recall considering how distracted he’d been the entire duration of it. Patton was a very touchy-feely person, Janus understood this well after years of seeing him interact with the others, but none of that could prepare him for Patton cuddling up against him under a blanket, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Is this okay?” Patton asked, and Janus had wanted to reply: “No! No this is far too much to handle! This is dangerous and all wrong, and something I should not be allowing happen!” But he couldn’t, not when that selfish, lonely part of himself had longed for something like this for so long.
And when their faces had been dangerously close together Patton had asked in a small, trembling voice, “Can I kiss you?” Janus should’ve said no, he should’ve left the room and never spoken to Patton again, but instead he simply nodded, giving into foolishness.
Janus continued to lie to himself, promising that he wouldn’t become too attached and would know when to take a step back. But despite all his best efforts, Janus was getting wrapped up in Patton and all that he represented. His feelings for the moral side were only deepening, their moments spent together become more frequent and intimate. He didn’t want to admit that he was becoming addicted to Patton’s kiss – that he was becoming reliant on the joy he felt when he was in any proximity to him.
Now here Janus was, lying in Patton’s bed beside his lover; how had he allowed things to go this far?
Janus was sure his feelings were reciprocated to some extent, but certainly not to the level he felt for Patton. There was no way.
Janus sat up in bed, his heart determined to beat right out of his chest. He considered pushing the covers off of himself and slinking back to his own room. He considered never returning, never facing Patton again unless it was absolutely necessary, he considered –
“Janus?” Janus flinched at the sound of his name, seeing Patton blinking awake beside him. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
His chest tightened at the sound of the pet name. Patton had been calling him so many things lately: honey, sweetheart, darling. Janus could hardly stand the way it made his heart break a little more every time he heard it.
“Nothing’s wrong, Pat,” he said far too quickly, cursing the weakness in his tone, “Go back to sleep.”
Well, shit, Janus thought to himself as Patton flicked on the lamp and rubbed his eyes before sliding on his glasses. Janus cast his gaze on the comforter, tracing the patterns of cats and dogs on the baby blue fabric before feeling a hand settle onto his shoulder, despising warmth blooming up his arm.
“Jan –.”
“I said I’m fine,” Janus hissed, hoping it would keep Patton’s concerns at bay, “nothing to worry about.” Patton sighed beside him, refusing to remove his hand. Janus wondered, stupidly, if Patton could feel him beginning to tremble.
“Sweetheart, I know something’s the matter. Something’s been the matter for some time, hasn’t it?” Janus’s silence spoke volumes. “I was trying to give you space and allow you some time to come to me with whatever it is, but I don’t think I can ignore it anymore. I’m sorry I ignored it at all. You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” Janus continued to refuse meeting Patton’s gaze, his eyes still stubbornly stuck on the comforter.
“Not this, Patton. It’s – it’s too much,” Janus rasped out. His voice was fragile, unlike anything he’d ever known. Janus recalled a time not long ago where he was confident in his strength, in his judgment. Now, look at him, shivering under Patton’s touch, near tears because his feelings were too much to fucking handle.
“What’s too much? Please, I’m worried, Jan. You haven’t been acting like yourself.”
I don’t feel like myself, Janus thought to himself bitterly.
He’d been a villain for so long, no-good. It had been easy, even if it hurt, even if he longed for affection. At least he didn’t have to deal with these god damn emotions. God, he sounded like Logan.
“All of this,” Janus gritted out vaguely, finally meeting Patton’s flickering gaze, “You. The…” Janus swallowed the forming lump in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut, “…relationship that we have. I was the villain for so long, I don’t know how to be anything else. I don’t know how to do this.”
Janus shivered as he felt Patton take his left hand in his own, rubbing his thumb along the scales.
“But that isn’t true. You aren’t a villain – you never really were. Janus, honey, I’m so sorry for how I treated you for so long. I didn’t ever consider your worth and that is something I will never forgive myself for,” Patton’s voice wavered sadly before he continued, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be better now. As for us, am I overwhelming you?”
“I –,” Janus’s voice faltered, words failing.
“Talk to me, Jan. I just want things to be okay, but I don’t know how I can fix anything if I don’t know what’s going on.” Janus wanted to sink out of the room, to sob long and hard alone. He didn’t want to face this, but the heartbroken way that Patton’s spoken to him is something he can’t disregard. He let go of Patton’s hand.
“Truthfully, I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m afraid of the intimacy that y-you’ve shown me. I’m afraid of how strongly I feel for you, Patton.” The silence that hung over them was positively devastating before Patton spoke, soft and genuine:
“Janus…you know I love you, right?”
Janus’s heart panged as his head swilled to look at Patton whose eyes shone with sincerity.
“What – what did you just sssay?” The hiss that invaded his voice took them both equally by surprise. Janus was rarely at the mercy of his snake-traits, as it only happened in moments of intense emotion. It made sense, he supposed bitterly.
“I said: I love you,” Patton repeated, smiling at the flush that spread across the human side of Janus’s face.
“N-no you don’t,” Janus said as though he couldn’t sense when the others were lying. If Patton was being anything other than truthful, he would’ve been able to tell.
“Yes, I do. I didn’t want to say it before, I dunno, I figured I might scare you away.”
“Scare me away?” The notion was positively preposterous. How could Patton ever think that he could frighten Janus to any capacity? “I – are you being serious? The idea of you doing anything like that is ludicrous. I’ve just been so…”
“Afraid?” Patton supplied, his hand returning to Janus’s shoulder. Janus nodded, almost sadly. “Hey, that’s okay. It’s alright to be scared.” He shook his head.
“Not when it’s me. I’m not used to,” Janus gestured vaguely, “any of this. I’m not equipped to handle this kindness, or compassion, or love. How can you love me?” Patton frowned, wincing at the insecurity in Janus’s tone that reminded him far too much of himself.
“Because you’re you, Jan,” he answered as if it was that simple, “You’re kind and smart, and you always have everyone’s best interest in mind. I love you, Janus. I don’t know how it took me so long to realize, but I do.” Janus’s instincts to flee fell away as Patton’s threw his arms over his shoulder, pulling him into a tight embrace.
“I love you too,” Janus admitted breathlessly, sighing as Patton ran a hand through his hair.
“We’ll tell the others about us in the morning, okay?” Janus blinked, yet refused to leave Patton’s arms.
“Really? Are – are you sure?” They both hadn’t mentioned the state of their relationship to any of the other sides, as Janus had been convinced Patton wouldn’t want to do so, and maybe Patton had thought the same about him. Knowing many of the light’s opinions of him, Janus didn’t have the highest of hopes for what the reactions would be.
“I’m positive. Unless you don’t want to yet?” Janus buried his face in Patton’s chest.
“Oh no, I despise the idea of everyone knowing of our relationship, so I can continue to feel like I need to keep it a secret.” Patton giggled, bright and pretty.
“That’s what I thought. Did talking make you feel better?” Patton massaged his scalp, making Janus melt further into him.
“Mmm yessss,” he hissed contently, earning another laugh, “I uh, mean, yes. It did. I’m still fairly out of my depth with this whole, “being accepted and loved thing.” Not that I told you any of that. I can’t have my reputation completely tarnished.
“My lips are sealed.”
“Good,” Janus said through a yawn, “But you’re certainly making it easier. I’m sorry…I should’ve talked to you.”
“It’s okay, honey. I understand. Feelings can be tricky, we’ll just take things one slither at a time.” Janus nodded against him with a strained laugh, sighing as Patton shut out the light and wrapped his arms around him again.
“Night-night, Jan. I love you,” Patton said, pressing a tired kiss to his lips before shutting his eyes.
“Goodnight, dearest,” Janus crooned, finally giving way to all of the affection that had been building inside of himself, “I love you too.”
For too long, Janus hadn’t thought himself capable of love, nor deserving of it. Once he received it, the fear that such things were temporary or not as intense as his feelings plagued his mind and for the first time in a long time, he got scared. Janus was happy to have his fears invalidated, though. The idea of having someone who truly, genuinely cared so deeply about him was still a frightening concept, but one that he was becoming sure he could handle.
Janus shut his eyes, sleeping deeply, and dreaming of love.
=+=
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softbluefanfiction · 4 years ago
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Oh, I love you
This is a Janus x Patton ficlet for @roz_poz2 on instagram! Go check out thier comics and art!! I think its wonderful and this is based off one of the comics!! I hope you enjoy!!
                                                      💙💙💙
It was bound to happen, really. He should have been ready for it to happen to, with how much he had been thinking about it. 
His hands are so soft…
That blush is not cute…
That laugh…
Movie night was actually fun...and it was because of him…
I guess I like baking now...
I want to be near him more...
I love his smile..
I love his laugh…
I love him…
I love him…
I love him…
I love him…
“Oh, I love you” Janus just had not expected it to happen now. 
---
They had been making cookies in the kitchen and having a wonderful time, although Logan might lose his mind if he saw the mess. Flour was everywhere from the fight they had gotten in earlier and both of them were covered in a powdery layer but the delectable treats were now in the oven baking to perfection. 
They had left the kitchen to go wash up, walking past Roman and Virgil, when Patton leaned over and dabbed a bit of flour onto the tip of Janus’ nose and made a comment about how cute he was while Virgil gagged. 
“No you don't!” Janus had laughed, grabbing Patton's arm and twirling him around. After he had his boyfriend securely in his arms, the sneaky side took revenge by rubbing a flour covered glove through Patton's hair while the other laughed until far after Janus had stopped and simply laid his hand on Patton's cheek. 
The fatherly figure nuzzled his face into Janus’ hand, and looked at him with so much adoration that Janus thought he might melt and it just...slipped out.
----
Distantly he heard Roman feign joining in with Virgil's redoubled efforts at gagging them out of the room (He was the romantic side, but he couldn't just admit this was super cute) as Patton's face fell slack with shock. 
Janus didnt notice as a smile cracked at the corner of the others mouth as he tried to get his own to work. “I-Im...um...I...”
“I love you too!” Patton interrupted, face breaking out in a full smile as Janus was pulled back towards Patton for a kiss. 
“Aw, lovey, you're trembling!” Patton worried, pulling back and soothing a hand over his cheek. He led the other up stairs, away from Roman and Virgil who were quickly realizing the true gravity of what just happened. 
Janus just laughed, “I thought I upset you…” He took a deep breath before continuing “do you really mean it” he whispered quietly.
Something in Patton's eyes softened even further, and Deceit relaxed as the other side put his hands on either side of his face, “Of course I mean it, I love you Janus” 
“I love you too, Patton,” Janus smiled, feeling bubbly and light as reality hit that Patton loved him back. God, when did he get so sappy? 
He laughed out loud and kissed Patton again, then peppered more smaller ones all across the others face to get the other to laugh some more. 
“Alright, alright, let's get wash up lovey” Patton smiled, pulling Janus back to their rooms to change. 
Both held shining smiles for the rest of the week.
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sidespart · 4 years ago
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Okay please consider
Dumb 90s/early 2000s Moceit RomCom
Over worked single father of three Patton
His twins learn what the word sugar daddy means and think if anyone deserves some rich old guy to give them stuff for no reason it’s Patton (they probably don’t actually know what sugar daddy means)
They decided to go hang round the business district handing out flyers to advertise him to rich looking dudes
One ends up with morally bankrupt advertising executive Janus
He’s trying to secure an account with a family firm and thinks showing up with his own ready made family might be just the thing to persuade the owner that he’s the guy to go with. he understands their values, hes got kids of his own etc tec 
So he approaches Patton and seduces him. And pretends that he tolerates children.
But then he develops feelings for reeeeeaaaal
Radical teen Virgil finds one of the twins flyers and ends up confronting j and breaking them up
BUT THEN. Janus’ evil business rival has already gone unhinged and decides to kidnap Janus kids and hold them ransom for the account (???)
Que Janus being all - I don’t care about the account! I just care about our family!
Big dramatic car chase sequence with confessions of love
Happy ending where it’s suddenly thanksgiving and they’re all cute together
Logan is Janus hyper competent personal assistant who spends the whole movie judging him and his terrible choices and making sassy remarks. He’s also at thanksgiving dinner.
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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years ago
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Care and Keeping of Idiots
Prompts: Hi I love your fic's so much and I was wondering if you could do DRLAMP (platonic creative twins) hurt/comfort with the light sides just having a lot of unhealthy habits and the dark sides helping them <3 - anon
Prompt if you want one: Roman gets sick from overworking himself but tries to hide it. Virgil finds out and chases him around the mindscape trying to get him to rest eventually him and all the others get him to bed and fluff ensues. That or Roman is sick and everyone fights to take care of him cause I think that would be funny and cute. Hurt/comfort please your honour and lamp is good but mainly prinxiety, roceit and some creative twins would be awesome! A scene for the first idea that lives rent free in my head is Roman hanging onto the door of the imagination while Virgil and Janus hold his legs and then remus jumps from above to knock him out and then they take him upstairs bridal style. I literally adore your writing so much so if you choose to write this thank you so much 💜💜💜💜 Ps: sorry if this is too much detail lol just do what you feel comfortable with - sunflowerblondeuwu
hi! if you're taking prompts, would you be interested in doing some moceit hurt/comfort? - anon
I'd like to request something Logan-centric. Maybe with some protective sides looking after Logan? If you can, if not don't worry about it. - geminimoon14
I've been experimenting with microficlets and short form and thought these were great practice!
Read on Ao3
Warnings: nothing explicit
Pairings: DLAMPR, DLAMP, LAMP, it can be platonic or romantic i don't care anymore
Word Count: 2035
The Dark Sides have their work cut out for them.
“Patton.”
Patton starts in surprise, turning around to see Janus standing there with his arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, goodness, you startled me!”
“Really, I had no idea.” Janus walks forward, holding out a hand.
“What’s that for, kiddo?”
Janus just holds his hand out further.
“I don’t know what you want,” Patton tries, edging a little further into the kitchen.
Janus sighs. “By all means, continue trying to lie to me.”
Patton stops. Janus takes another step closer, still holding out his hand.
“It’s fine, Janus, don’t worry!”
“Every time you lie,” Janus says, “I’m going to take a step closer.”
“But it’s fine!” And sure enough, he takes a step closer. “I can do it! Wait, that’s not a lie. Stop it!”
“Stop lying, Patton, and I won’t have to.”
Patton does not whine, but he does exhale a little louder than normal. Janus waits patiently, his hand outstretched. Patton sighs and puts the notebook in Janus’s hand. Janus hums and tucks it into his cloak and holds out his hand again.
“…now I really don’t know what you want,” Patton says wearily.
Janus just waggles his fingers.
“Janus, I—“
“Come here, Patton,” Janus murmurs, holding his hand out.
Patton takes his hand and tries not to squeak in surprise as he’s yanked forward into a cuddle. Janus chuckles as he flails slightly, wrapping one arm around his waist to keep him still and ruffling his hair with the other.
“Good.”
“What—what’re you doing?”
“Oh, just remedying this error that I’ve discovered.”
“You—what? Janus—“
“Be still,” Janus chides gently, giving his hair a tug, “you’re alright. Just let me hug you.”
Patton won’t turn down a hug from one of his kiddos, but he’s very confused, thank you very much, and he would like to be less confused.
“I thought we talked about that notebook,” comes Janus’s voice a moment later, “and why you should stop using it.”
“But it helps me remember when I have to do things,” he mumbles into the cloak.
The cloak shifts. “Not in a way that is helpful to you, sweetie.”
“It helps me remember!”
“It helps you feel guilty.”
“…no…”
Janus sighs. “I can’t actually take a step closer while I’m hugging you, but I did it in spirit.”
Patton grumbles. Janus cards his hand through his hair again and uses two more arms to guide Patton’s around his neck.
“I’m going to pick you up now.”
“Where are we—oh!—where are we going?”
“Virgil and Remus have a new version of UNO they want to try and they’re insisting they need four people.” Janus rolls his eyes. “I think they just want an excuse to team up, but we’ll see.”
Patton shifts in Janus’s arms as they make their way to the other living room. He looks up and Janus catches his gaze.
“What, sweetie?”
“…thanks.”
Janus smiles and taps Patton’s cheek. “I’ll drag you kicking and screaming into caring about yourself if I have to.”
—————————
“Virgil.”
“Nope.” Virgil yawns, sprawling a little further across Logan’s desk. “Sorry, L, no work for you.”
“Virgil, where did you even put everything?”
“Your computer’s where it always is when it isn’t on your desk, your notes are filed away with Roman’s help, and your notebook is with Janus.”
Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And why have you taken precautions to ensure I don’t have access to my work?”
Virgil indicates the schedule they drew up on the corkboard. “Because it’s your day off and you gave us permission to make you take that day.”
Logan sighs. Again. It’s his favorite way of expressing exasperation with Virgil. Virgil grins, hooking his feet around the arms of the chair and pulling it out of Logan’s reach. He pulls out his phone and starts mindlessly scrolling.
“Virgil.”
“Hmm?”
“Can I just have one notebook?”
“Depends.” He glances up at Logan. “You gonna work?”
Logan opens his mouth and Janus strides out of the shadows. Virgil muffles a snort and shakes his head.
“Okay, that answers that question.”
“Virgil.”
“Logan.”
Janus just flops down onto Logan’s bed and curls his arms around a pillow, hissing from the warmth.
“I just want my notebook,” Logan says, “can I have my notebook back?”
“No work, Logan, you made the rules.”
“I said no work, not no notebook!”
“Yeah, but for you, notebook equals work.”
Logan looks back at Janus. “Can I please have my notebook back?”
“It’s adorable how you think asking me will get you a different answer than asking Virgil.”
Logan is quiet for a moment. Virgil looks up at him over his phone and his brow furrows at the way Logan starts to fiddle with the end of his tie.
“…can I please have it back?”
“Why do you think asking over and over will get you a different result, L?”
“Because perhaps you’ll understand that I need it back,” Logan snaps, clutching the end of his tie.
“Whoa,” Virgil soothes, holding his hand up, “time out. Okay. You want it back?”
“For the forty-seventh time, yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s mine.”
Virgil frowns. Then he gets up and nods to Janus. Janus takes Logan’s notebook out and passes it to Virgil, who holds it out for Logan to take. Logan takes it and wraps his arms around it protectively, tucking it under his chin.
“What’s the matter, L,” Virgil says quietly, “why’re you so on edge today?”
Logan sniffs. Oh. Oh, fuck. Janus sits up as Virgil nudges Logan to sit on the bed. Logan sits, still curled around the notebook.
“Talk to us, L,” Virgil murmurs, “did we fuck up? We’re sorry if we did, but you gotta tell us.”
“N-no, it’s—it’s fine, I asked you to do this, I just—“ he shakes himself— “it’s fine.”
Janus hisses lightly.
“Come on, L.”
Logan slumps, his fingertips starting to turn red from pressing against the spirals. Virgil reaches out to gentle them away.
“I suppose I’m still getting used to the idea that I am important to you outside of my work,” comes the whispered confession.
“Oh, sweetie…”
“Can we hug you, L? I think you need it.”
Logan nods, but he doesn’t move the notebook. Virgil taps it.
“Let go, come on.”
Logan lets him pry it out of his hands and toss it onto the desk as Janus wraps an arm around him. Virgil comes back to haul Logan further onto the bed, tucking his head under his chin.
“You’re important to us because you’re Logan, not because you’re Logic.” Janus hums in agreement. “Now, we’re gonna sit here for a moment and then we’re gonna go see how much of a mess Remus has made in the living room.”
Logan huffs. “We did leave him alone, didn’t we?”
“Mm.” Janus tucks his head against Logan’s shoulder. “I’d certainly love to go see whatever mess there is instead of staying here.”
Virgil chuckles. “We can stay here for longer, Logan needs it.”
—————————
“Fuck, where is he?”
“He went into the Imagination!”
“Shit, how’d he get past Patton?”
“I don’t know, but we gotta hurry before he gets lost in there.”
“Hey—hey! There he is! Get back here!”
“Roman! Roman!”
“Shit, he’s getting away!”
“How the fuck is he so fast—“
“Aren’t you fight or flight? Move!”
“I got him—I got him!”
“Hey, hey! Virgil, let me go!”
“No, Roman, you know you’re not supposed to be here, come on—“
Well, if Roman is going to insist they drag him out of here, they will.
“Roman, let go of the door.”
“How are you still holding on, there’s two of us—“
“Shut up, J, and pull!”
“You’ll never take me alive!”
“Stop being so dramatic for one goddamn second—“
“Remus, now!”
Even Roman isn’t so determined that a Morningstar to the head won’t make him go unconscious. Remus ignores the slightly disapproving looks from Virgil and Janus and promptly scoops his brother into his arms and marches out of the Imagination, down to the living room where Logan and Patton are waiting, blankets and pillows set up. Logan raises an eyebrow when he sees Roman’s limp form in Remus’s arms.
“Was knocking him out really necessary? He’s already sick.”
“He’s fine,” Remus defends, “he’ll wake up in like…two seconds.”
“One, two—“
“Hey!”
“Well, what do you know, it was two seconds,” Logan mutters as Janus immediately wraps his arms around a squirming Roman.
“Let me go, I’m fine, I just—“ Roman freezes when he realizes where he is— “oh.”
“Yes, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “oh. Now hush and let us take care of you.”
“But—“
“We already had to fight to be the ones to come get you,” Virgil interrupts, plopping down with his head in Roman’s lap, “don’t make us do it again.”
“But—“
“Ro,” Remus whines, “just let us take care of you!”
Roman freezes. His mouth snaps shut and he starts to toy with an edge of one of the blankets. His shoulders hunch and Remus counts him heroically stopping three coughs.
“Ro,” he says, softer this time, “you know we want to take care of you, right?”
Roman pointedly does not look at any of them.
“…you said you had to fight over who came to—“ he stifles a sneeze— “to come get me.”
“We fought over who got to come get you.” Remus nudges his shoulder. “I won because I’m your brother and I get dibs.”
“I won because I’m fight or flight.”
“Even though you were so slow.”
“Shut up, Remus.”
“I didn’t win,” Janus says, examining his gloves, “ I just went anyway.”
Roman doesn’t laugh. Instead, he tugs the blanket again. Remus shuffles closer and bonks their heads together.
“You’re not a burden, Roro, we want to take care of you.”
“…why?”
Patton stifles a hurt noise as he takes Roman’s hand in his. Logan scoots loser and curls his hands around Roman’s collar, trying to loosen it a little.
“Fuck, Princey, of course we wanna take care of you.” Virgil ruffles his hair. “You’re sick. Now lie down.”
“B-but—“
“Oh, shh, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, wiping a stray tear, “now, now, you know better than to cry when your head is already sore. I know it’s not your fault sweetie, just shh.”
Remus wraps Roman’s arms around him and curls into his chest. Roman sniffles.
“Now, that’s not fair,” Logan says quietly, “you three already got to go and get him, you don’t get to hog taking care of him as well.”
“Yeah, let us have a turn!”
Roman giggles as Logan tries to tug him away from Remus, which—good luck.
But Roman is happy so Remus will share.
For now.
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rain-bound · 5 years ago
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Moceit Headcanons
Janus immediately starts to catch feelings for Patton after the whole "you and i both know that's not true" line. The gentle reassurance and soft smile is what did it. He denies/represses the hell out of it, naturally. (luckily for him, he was good at it). Just the sound of Patton's laughter made him feel like picking sunflowers and petting cute dogs. And boy was he terrified of that feeling.
When Lee and Mary-lee come by, (and Leslie is ‘excused’ by Janus) Patton invites him for mimosas. They don’t talk, they just drink and watch Thomas play Kingdom Hearts with his friends. It was nice.
Janus has a very… Different idea of what a prank is, given what he did to Roman during the trial. Patton decides to teach him about actual pranks, as a healthier outlet. He then demonstrates replacing vanilla pudding with mayonnaise. (“so poisoning your enemies is ok-””nO”)
A few days later, Patton bites into an unpleasantly minty oreo.
Prank wars are now a regular thing between them. Affectionate sabotage, as Janus calls it.
Patton is the only one that Janus will let touch him. No I will not elaborate.
When one of them spots the other entering a room, they greet each other with a very serious “Morality.””Deceit.” and then glare at each other until they break out into a fit of giggles
Basically they got a whole joke-y “my esteemed rival” thing going on.
Speaking of giggles
As a pun lover himself, Janus laughs at almost every one of Patton’s puns. It made Patton feel all warm and fluttery inside, and he nearly fainted when he heard Janus’ real laugh. (he’s the only one who’s ever heard it)
So they tell each other puns constantly to try and make the other laugh
They flirt all the time too
It seems less like flirting, and more like playful teasing, but under the surface its 100% flirting
Janus HAS tried flirting-flirting with Patton, but he found that it would force him to confront feelings that he would really prefer not to. That, and Patton was completely unaffected by his charm. He would either tilt his head in confusion or laugh and call it ‘sweet’. It infuriated Janus to no end.
Patton is very attracted to Janus’ hands. Again, I will not elaborate. (Nor do I need to.)
One day Patton was mowing the lawn outside and he saw a honeybee, and was like !!!! black and yellow!!! And ‘honeybee’ became his go-to nickname for Jan.
Needless to say, Janus melted the first time he heard it. (and every other time, too.)
By the time Janus finally acknowledges his feelings, it turns out that he’s actually in love with Patton now. Greeeat! So he decides to take a risk and finally confess to him, or else he figured he might EXPLODE
So he wanders down stairs one night and Patton is there making Late Night Cookies (as you do) and when Patton turns to greet him, he kinda stutters out an “I need to tell you something…”
And ofc Janus is not the best at verbally expressing his feelings, so he’s a bit at a loss for words. After a few seconds of just blushing and avoiding eye contact, he gives up on words and starts taking off his gloves. Patton goes “??? W-what… what are you doing, Jan?” (while blushing cuz HANDS)
Janus sorta corners Patton til he’s up against the counter, and interlocks their fingers. He stares into Patton’s eyes, and oh no oh god they’re so pretty
Janus glances at Patton’s (pretty, pink) lips (They’re currently trying to form a coherent sentence, if you were wondering). And then Patton glances at his. He mumbles an apology and leans in to kiss him. Just the barest brush of lips, but it's like fireworks for them both.
Janus barely pulls away before Patton completely crushes him in a hug and says with the biggest grin, “You LIKE me?!?!”
"Guilty as charged~"
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thecrowslullaby · 3 years ago
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001 and Loceit 😁😁 --🌶🌶🌶
when I started shipping it if I did:
When I was 7 pages into the murder mystery comic. I was a fool who thought this:
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was gonna stay a joke. Hooooo, boi was I wrong. Because I spent my 2 week vacation giving them a sad™ backstory, and realised I actualy really like their dynamic and now I can never go back, the brainrot is too strong.
my thoughts:
No thoughts at this point, only a stack of doodles and comic pages with fluff so indulgent it's too emberassing to share and a playlist of songs I want to make loceit animatics too.
Ok one thought: I find it absolutly hillarious that I took the two most stoic and academically smart characters in the shows and made their braincells allergic to each other.
What makes me happy about them:
The overlapping of interrests. The fact that these two could grow with each other. Logan catching Janus lies, but rolling with them anyway. Janus playing up Logan's confidence.
What makes me sad about them:
With all the angst in the fandom I feel like they keep playing against each other. This can literally be said about any other relationship too, tbh.
Things done in fanfic that annoys me:
Love confession that avolve into: lets f*ck in a matter of seconds/minutes? (i mean, i generally avoid smut, but I also adore ace Logan and/or Janus headcannons)
things I look for in fanfic:
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I mean, I like that trope in general, but especially for loceit.
+them convincing ach other to take a break.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
I'm a huge fan of both loceit and intruality, but tbh, I'm fine with any combination of intrulomoceit (pairings/poly ships, uou name it I'll take it). Both moceit and logicality is cute and wholesome, while both demus and intrulogical is wild or ride and fun. Like, obviously I'd chose loceit and intruality over any other ship combo but I'm ok with the others ^^'.
My happily ever after for them:
Having some relaxing quiet time. I just want them to be soft together, not necesarry romantically, but I want them to be able to work on projects together and getting to discuss book, phylosophy, sharing gossip, sipping mom juice together. Relaxing.
who is the big spoon/little spoon:
Both, both is good. Janus placing himself between Logan and whatever project he had once again worked too long on to force him to take a break, or Loggan wrapping his arms around Janus while they both work or read has my heart. So does the concept of tiny Janus trying desperatly to wrap himself around Logan's back, or in-canon-verse, using all of his six arms to do so.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
Just, leaning against each other while going about their day. Little hugs through out the day ;-;, both reading a book, sharing a blanket.
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killing-all-joy · 4 years ago
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I got inspired to write after Virgil wearing a skirt. Prinxiety with blink-and-you’ll-miss-it implied Moceit. I finished this late last night so I thought I’d post it today. I hope you like it!
cw: vague mention of food, self deprecation
Virgil stood in front of his room’s mirror, pivoting on his heels to turn his body left and right forty-five degrees. Patton and Logan had recently picked out skirts to wear, and Virgil decided in a (rare) rush of confidence that came after a particularly persuasive conversation with Patton to wear a skirt himself. His best friend was so excited about the skirt he wore, and Virgil had to agree that the skirt looked quite good on him (so didn’t Janus). Virgil figured that he wouldn’t be ridiculed so severely for wearing a skirt considering Logan, Thomas’ logic, had done the same recently.
He was in a purple and black plaid skirt, short sleeved hoodie, white shirt, white and black vertically striped tights, and black shoes with purple laces. He knew the look was adventurous, and was now trying to decide whether he looked okay. The anxious thoughts screaming in his mind that he looked terrible were momentarily muffled by his love for the outfit.
But, as they say, all good things must come to an end, and the negative thoughts started to get louder. As they started to get to a volume and intensity that started to pull his hands to his hoodie with the intention of removing it and changing back into his old outfit, his door slammed open.
“Viiiiiiiirrrgiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil,” sang the most familiar and distinctive voice Virgil knew. Roman was in his room.
Virgil started to panic. He forgot to lock his door (of course he did, things always go wrong), and now Roman, perhaps the least considerate of a person’s privacy (excluding Remus) in the mindscape, had opened the door without knocking and was now able to see what an absolute moron Virgil was to wear a skirt, I mean what kind of misplaced confidence-
Roman almost wished he’d knocked. That way, he would’ve been prepared for the sight that awaited him when he opened the door to Virgil’s room.
Why ‘almost’? Virgil was the most anxious thing to ever come to existence. If he knocked, Virgil would have snapped his fingers to change his outfit (they were imaginary, after all, and could change their clothing at will), and Roman would never have been blessed by the most beautiful sight ever to grace his eyes.
However, those things did not obscure how embarrassingly not composed Roman was after he laid his gaze on his fellow side. He couldn’t really blame himself, since he expected Virgil to be scrolling tumblr (as he normally was). It��s not like today was a special occasion either. Just that the afternoon had now become the evening and it was time for dinner.
Patton had made chicken and broccoli that smelled like heaven, and Virgil was nowhere to be found. Roman had volunteered to look for Virgil, his first instinct being his room. He had heard the quiet sound of shoes sliding against wooden flooring, and decided that Virgil was in his room. So, he did what any person would expect him to do and threw the anxious side’s door open while singing his name, holding out the vowels so long that only someone trained impressively well in breath support could be able to manage. 
“Time for di-oh,” Roman said, voice loud at the beginning of his sentence but starting to lower in volume as he noticed Virgil (particularly his attire).
Virgil was decidedly not in his normal outfit. Or his old one. No, the emo now donned a short-sleeved hoodie, a white shirt, tights, and the ultimate killer of Roman’s composure, a skirt.
Sure, Patton in a skirt, while adorable and attractive, did not surprise Roman. At least, not after he saw the design. Roman had smiled when he saw Patton’s skirt and told him that he looked quite good. Logan was a bit more (very) surprising, but Roman just gave him a teasing remark and then a more serious compliment without any gay-related problems. But Virgil....
Roman’s ultimate wish was that he could’ve received a heads-up before this. That way, he could have prepared. If he’d received a warning, he, well aware of his crush on Virgil and how much that could affect him in any given situation, would have been able to enter Virgil’s room without half the issues. Or maybe not. But still, it seemed like anything would have yielded better results than what was happening in the present.
Because Roman’s eyes were wider than the sun, his jaw dropped lower than the Mariana Trench is deep, and his movements ceased faster than someone turned to stone by Medusa. He was thankful he wasn’t holding anything, because he would have dropped it then and there. Roman wasn’t fully sure he was blinking or breathing, hell, his heart could’ve stopped and he wouldn’t have noticed or cared. All he could do was let his eyes stare at Virgil.
So, yeah. Roman almost wished he would have knocked.
“Roman?” Virgil asked, voice too quiet and shy to be a sign of anything positive. “Are you okay?”
Roman wanted to reply, say either “yes” or the truth. But, his brain failed him and he was unable to make any noise.
Virgil blinked. “A...um...I imagine you came to tell me about dinner. I’ll be right down, just let me change.”
Roman walked into the room slowly, not saying anything. He stopped in front of Virgil, grabbing his arm. Virgil had the tendency to slouch, so Roman had to look down slightly to meet his eyes. He tried to speak again, to tell Virgil that he didn’t have to change and could wear his outstanding outfit to dinner, but he found himself unable to find the words.
“Roman? You’re stopping me. Have I done something wrong?”
Roman shook his head.
“Wh- oh god, it’s the outfit, isn’t it. It looks bad. Too much. I know, I’m sorry. Patton and Logan did the whole skirt thing so I thought I’d try it out but that was obviously a terrible idea because now I’ve made my already bad appeara-”
Roman’s mind started to go on full alert when Virgil started explicitly voicing his self-deprecation.
“No.”
Virgil’s words died in his throat. He blinked. “What?”
“Do-...don’t...don’t change,” Roman managed to blurt out in a croaky voice. “Not unless you...you want to.”
“B-but I don’t loo-”
“Yes. Wait- no.” Roman threw his free hand to his forehead. “You look good.”
Virgil’s face pinkened. “Don’t just say that to be-”
“I...I’m not-” Roman took a deep breath, forming his next sentence carefully. “If you want to grade your appearance for some godforsaken reason even though that is very unhealthy, base it on me from two minutes ago unable to speak or move, hell, base you can base it on me now: unable to articulate my thoughts properly. Virgil, you need to...um...I am very very gay, and you need to understand that...that’s why I am acting this way. Be-because...because you are very pretty. Handsome. Beautiful.”
“Huh?” Virgil’s voice was two octaves higher.
“Yeah. Don’t change,” Roman repeated, “unless you truly don’t like it. Please.”
Virgil swallowed, looking back down at his outfit. “Alright. I won’t.”
Roman’s phone vibrated, signaling a text. He opened it and found that Janus had texted him saying he and Logan had been working all day without food so they started dinner already, and that Roman was a “slow jerk who takes his time” for not being at the dinner table faster.
“What is it?”
“They’ve already started eating.”
“Oh god, I’m sorry. That’s my fau-”
Roman, still looking at his phone, put a finger in front of Virgil’s mouth. Virgil stopped talking, and Roman kept his finger there as he put his phone away. “Don’t apologize. This is good.”
“...How?”
“We can have a dinner date in the Imagination together tonight,” Roman suggested, staring lovingly into Virgil’s eyes. “Just you and me. If you’d like.”
“I’d, um, really like that,” Virgil said, cheeks red and eyes cast down to his skirt. He started to play with its hem. “A lot.”
“I figured, since this incident is basically my, albeit terrible, love confession- wait, you would?”
Virgil turned his head back up and met Roman’s eyes. “Yeah. It sounds cool, or whatever, to go on a date with you,” he cringed at his awkwardness, “romantically.”
Roman’s eyes widened as he grinned and his entire face alit with happiness. “I am so glad, Stormy Knight!”
Virgil bit his lip. He looked a bit nervous for half a second, but then straightened his posture and stood on his toes, planting a kiss on the tip of Roman’s nose. “I’m glad you’re happy, Princey.”
Roman’s face flushed and his brain went blank at the kiss, but as soon as he registered it, he (somehow) grinned wider and picked up Virgil, spinning him in his arms. Virgil shrieked at Roman to put him down. Roman could tell he only did so because he was blushing up a storm.
Roman set Virgil down, then gently pushed Virgil back two paces so his back was against the mirror. Roman’s expression turned sincere.
“Virgil,” he said softly, like the name was fragile and could break if uttered at a louder volume, “may I, perhaps, have a kiss before we eat?”
Virgil nodded, unable to speak.
Roman put his arms around Virgil’s waist and brought their lips together. He kissed him intensely, but not roughly, and held him like he was a glass case holding all the things Roman treasured most. Virgil kissed back, wrapping his arms around Roman’s shoulders.
Dinner could wait for a couple of minutes.
~
Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff
My first fic published to this account! Yay! I’ve always wanted to write another side being gay about one of the sides in a skirt, and I finally got the motivation to tonight with Virgil’s cool outfit! I hope you liked it!
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chameleonwritess · 4 years ago
Text
Never Been Kissed
Series: Sanders Sides
Pairing: Moceit (Janus/Patton) (minor Logince)
“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.
“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.
“Do you want to kiss Patton?”
“Pass,” Janus spluttered.
“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.
Words: 2923
Read on AO3
It had started with a stupid truth or dare game. Janus was having a legitimate breakdown over a game of truth or dare. Curse the fateful day that the other sides had begun to accept him.
If it weren’t for the fear of being stuck with the company of Remus and only Remus again for eternity, Janus would leave them.
Only, he wouldn’t really, because even despite being the cause of Janus’s current predicament (although it could also be blamed on Roman), he’d never leave Patton. Not now. Not ever, if he had anything to say about it.
Patton, who smiled as brightly as the sun when Janus walked into a room. Patton, who laughed softly when Janus messed up baking cookies and smeared cookie dough on the end of his nose. Patton, who understood what it was like to feel alone, helpless, unwanted and unimportant. Patton, who, despite Janus’s best efforts, had captured his heart.
And now Patton was not only going to figure out that Janus was completely smitten with the bespectacled side, but also realise how pathetically inexperienced at loving another person he was, removing any infinitesimal chance there even was of Patton liking him back. All thanks to a game of truth or dare.
Patton had invited him to join in the game. Janus knew the basics of how to play, thanks to Remus frequently insisting that Janus, Virgil and he play it once upon a time. Still, he was quite sure the version of the game the other sides played would include a lot less biting and a lot less blood than Remus’s version.
The game had started innocently enough. Roman had insisted that they spin a bottle to choose the next player, avoiding any biases in selecting a victim. Janus agreed that it did seem the most efficient solution. The game began with some silly confessions about embarrassing secrets, favourite songs and guilty pleasures.
Of course Roman would be the one to change it up. Logan’s dare for the creative side had resulted in him feeling particularly elated after managing to fit seventeen spoonfuls of Crofter’s in his mouth before he had to swallow and he spun the bottle with enthusiasm, practically causing it to fly directly into Janus’s lap. Roman laughed loudly.
“Looks like it’s chosen you, Janus! Truth or dare?” he asked. Janus had considered the options. Knowing Roman, his dares would likely have Janus doing something ridiculously embarrassing (Virgil was still sporting faint remnants of red lipstick, despite his vehement attempts to remove it, and Patton still looked as though he was feeling sick from the many marshmallows he’d had to shove in his mouth).
Deciding he’d take a gamble that Roman’s truths were slightly more pleasantly… creative… than his dares, Janus replied.
“Truth,” he decided. Regret immediately followed at the wicked smile that flashed across the Prince’s face.
“If you had to kiss one of the sides, who would it be and why?” he asked.
As the embodiment of Deceit, Janus should not have found himself as panicked at the prospect of having to lie his way out. After all, he could hardly open his mouth and declare,
‘Patton, because I’ve been hopelessly in love with him since the very first time he smiled at me.’
“Inventive,” Janus muttered sarcastically to Roman, stalling for time if anything.
“Oh, come on, surely you don’t have to think that hard about it,” Roman complained as the others looked intently at Janus for an answer. He deliberately avoided Patton’s gaze. There was only one way he could answer without admitting every feeling he had tried (and subsequently failed) so hard to suppress.
“There’s only one obvious answer,” Janus started, clearly piquing the others’ interest, “Virgil still has lipstick on his mouth so it’s an automatic no. Logan looks as though he wouldn’t know how to kiss if he read an in-depth instruction pamphlet. Roman, you probably use too much tongue and that’s definitely appealing and Remus would bite me. That only leaves one option.”
Janus paused to look at the others. Virgil looked indifferent, Logan was trying very hard not to seem offended, Roman was failing at not looking offended and Patton… Janus drew in a sharp breath. Patton’s eyes were practically sparkling as he looked at Janus.
“That was a biased answer,” Roman huffed, clearly still salty, but Janus was relieved for the distraction, “I don’t use too much tongue!”
“You do every time you open your mouth,” Virgil protested.
“Besides, Logan can ki- I- nevermind,” Roman cut himself off, flushing distinctly redder. Janus raised his eyebrows and looked between the logical and creative side. Logan’s cheeks were dusted a darker shade than normal, too. Of all the confessions Janus had anticipated coming from this game, that was certainly not one of them.
“What?” Virgil blinked.
“Janus,” Logan interrupted, slightly louder than necessary, “it’s your turn to spin the bottle.”
“Of course,” Janus said, flickering his gaze back across to Patton, who was still glancing at him with a small smile. Janus snapped his eyes away again, quickly, spinning the bottle, instead.
“Logan, truth or dare?” Janus asked when the bottle stopped.
“Dare,” Logan wisely insisted.
The game continued for a few more rounds and Janus had practically forgotten about his previous predicament. He suffered through a couple of dares and another truth until, fatefully, Roman’s spin landed on him once again.
“Truth or dare?” Roman asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Janus had learnt his lesson, this time.
“Dare,” he decided.
“I dare you to kiss Patton,” Roman grinned.
“Truth,” Janus changed his mind.
“Do you want to kiss Patton?”
“Pass,” Janus spluttered.
“The game doesn’t work like that,” Virgil pointed out, unhelpfully.
“I- uh-“ Janus foraged for words he could usually weave together so effortlessly. What was he supposed to do? Kiss Patton and pretend it meant nothing to him? Not kiss Patton and have to explain that it meant too much to him? Explain that he’d never kissed anyone and he refused to let his first kiss be in a truth or dare game?
“You don’t have to, Janus,” Patton’s soft voice said from next to him and a hand landed on his leg. Janus jumped at the contact and Patton retracted his hand quickly. Janus wished he hadn’t- he’d just been surprised at the contact.
“I mean, it’s the rules, so he kind of does,” Roman pointed out, examining his nails for no particular reason.
Patton was looking at Janus with the same soft, understanding smile as always. Janus wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him, but he couldn’t. Not in front of all the others. Not when he didn’t have a clue what he was doing.
“I- I can’t,” Janus finally spluttered out.
“That’s okay. It’s not a problem,” Patton insisted, but his smile wavered slightly. Janus panicked. Patton had thought Janus didn’t want to kiss him- that he couldn’t bring himself to do it, even for a dare.
“It’s not about you, Patton,” Janus insisted, quickly- quicker than he had meant to, “you’re wonderful, it’s just that I- I don’t- I-“ Janus’s breaths were getting faster as he looked around the room at all of the others. What had he just said in front of them all? What was he about to admit?
“I have to go,” Janus said abruptly and he immediately sunk out of the room.
And that’s how Janus found himself inside his room, his back pressed against the wall, breathing heavily and trying not to cry or have a panic attack.
How pathetic had he become? He couldn’t even complete a dare as trivial as giving someone a quick kiss. Admittedly, that ‘someone’ just happened to be the side he’d fallen in love with, but it didn’t require almost revealing his true feelings to all the others and having to physically leave the room for fear of breaking down.
Janus groaned in frustration and threw his hat across the room, more for dramatic effect than anything. Now Patton was going to think he was repulsed by him or something when it was the literal opposite, but if Janus revealed that, Patton would just be repulsed by him. There was seemingly no way out of the situation in which he didn’t lose Patton. Maybe he was destined for a lifetime of Remus, after all.
A knock at the door snapped Janus out of his self-pitying and caused him to wonder exactly how long he’d been dramatically sliding down the wall onto the floor for.
“Jan? Are you in there?” Patton’s gentle voice called out. Janus’s breath caught in his throat. He glanced in the mirror on his wall quickly, noting that his eyes were still red, the human half of his face was flushed and blotchy and his hair was sticking up slightly. He looked a mess but he couldn’t ignore Patton. Not if the other side wasn’t avoiding him as he’d feared only mere minutes ago.
Janus flattened his hair down, desperately and opened the door, trying to look as blasé as possible. Considering acting was one of his greatest skills, he was doing a notably abysmal job.
“Patton. Hello,” Janus said in an awkward, stilted way.
“Hi,” Patton said, breathlessly, “are you okay? I didn’t want to come straight away in case you needed some time but I didn’t want to leave you by yourself for too long if you weren’t alright. I hope that’s okay.”
Janus nodded.
“Yes, I’m great. Fantastic, even. Please don’t be worried about me,” he lied. Patton raised an eyebrow.
“You tell me off for repressing my negative emotions. I can tell you’ve been crying. And of course, I’m going to be worried about you, silly!” he insisted. Janus blushed a little. He was suddenly relieved that his face was already red.
“I really am okay,” Janus said more earnestly, “I’m sorry about what happened at the game. I just got… flustered.”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Patton insisted, “Roman shouldn’t have pushed you to do something you didn’t want to do. He knows that, now, and no one else has a problem that you didn’t want to do a silly dare!”
“But that’s not true!” Janus blurted out before he could stop himself. Patton’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.
“How do you mean?” he asked.
“Never mind,” Janus shook his head, desperately wishing he hadn’t said anything. If he just ended the conversation now, maybe things could go back to normal between him and Patton. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.
“Hey, Janus,” Patton protested gently and as Janus tried to turn around to walk back into his room, a hand encircled his wrist, causing a shock of warmth to jolt through Janus’s body. He immediately froze at the touch. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Patton continued.
Janus closed his eyes and nodded, slowly turning around to face Patton again.
“Is this still about the game or is it something else?” Patton asked, taking both of Janus’s gloved hands in his own now that Janus was facing him again. His touch sent shots of electricity through Janus’s arms. Patton was so free with his touches. Janus wasn’t sure he’d ever be used to it, but he wasn’t complaining.
“It’s just the game,” Janus huffed, “how stupid is that?”
“It’s not stupid at all!” Patton insisted and he took a step closer to Janus, his hand reaching up to touch the scaled side of Janus’s face, “do you want to tell me what it was that was the problem. I can tell the others not to do it again and I promise I won’t be offended,” he added with a giggle.
Janus released a shaky breath, both from the effect Patton's closeness was having on his heart and from the nervousness of what he was about to admit.
“I’ve never kissed anyone,” Janus muttered, barely audible. Patton heard, though, if the soft gasp he gave was anything to go by.
“There’s nothing wrong with that! You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it. You know, I’ve never actually kissed anyone, either,” Patton admitted, “and I don’t think I’d want my first kiss to be because someone dared me to kiss a random guy in front of everyone else.”
“Oh,” Janus muttered. He hadn’t considered that Patton might never have kissed anyone. He was just so likeable that Janus had assumed one of the other sides must have wanted to kiss him at some point.
“I won’t tell the others if you don’t want, though,” Patton promised, “it can be our little secret.”
Janus nodded as Patton smiled at him. Why was he still feeling so agitated? Patton wasn’t mad at him, he’d explained why he hadn’t kissed Patton in the game and he hadn’t been forced to admit his true feelings for Patton. He should be feeling calm again.
Apparently, his discomfort was still visible, as Patton’s face contorted into a frown.
“Are you sure that’s it? You still look worried. You know I won’t leave until you’re smiling again,” Patton insisted. Janus cracked a small smile at his insistence, but it wasn’t the genuine smile Patton was referring to. Those smiles were only reserved for Patton, anyway.
“Really, everything is okay now. I’m sorry for freaking out and I’m sorry if Roman’s dare made you uncomfortable. It did include you, too, after all. And I’m sorry if the truth I answered earlier made you uncomfortable, too,” Janus began to say, wondering where all these apologies were suddenly streaming from. He suspected his and Patton’s still adjoined hands had something to do with it. “I’d never want to make you uncomfortable but I probably did. I should have lied instead of trying to be honest. I’m the literal embodiment of Denial.”
“Woah, Janus, slow down, you have no reason to be sorry! I wasn't uncomfortable at all- with anything!” Patton pleaded, his eyes wide. Janus looked at him anxiously. He had not meant to pour out quite that much of his heart. There was something about being with Patton that made him want to be more vulnerable.
“You weren’t?” Janus confirmed. Patton nodded and smiled brightly before a tinge of red crossed his cheeks and he broke eye contact.
“I, uh,” he began, “I really wouldn’t mind if you did want to kiss me.”
Janus’s eyes flew wide with shock. Was Patton implying that he’d be happy for Janus to kiss him?
“But I know you only chose me because you’re not as comfortable around the others! And you were forced to choose for the game, anyway, so I’m not saying you have to, but-“ Patton started to continue, his face growing gradually redder as he did. He looked positively adorable and Janus didn’t think he’d ever been more attracted to the moral side.
“I do want to kiss you,” Janus blurted out, his face darkening at his sudden confession. Patton looked up again, his mouth forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. “I have for quite a while, actually,” Janus continued because if he was going to confess, he might as well go all the way with his honesty, “ever since you accepted me into the group. You just smiled at me and it made my heart flip and I tried so hard not to fall for you, but my heart clearly had a different idea, because here I-“
Janus’s words were stopped when two hands planted themselves on either side of his face. Patton’s face was right in front of his and he was smiling, fondly, his eyes sparkling. Janus’s heart thumped loudly in his chest.
“Patton-“ Janus sighed and then he was kissing him.
Even the simplest press of lips was enough to set Janus’s body on fire and he immediately wanted more. He wrapped his arms around Patton’s torso, pulling the shorter side closer to him. Patton, despite his equal inexperience, certainly seemed to know what he was doing. His mouth was moving languidly against Janus’s and he’d snaked a hand into Janus’s hair.
The soft scrape of Patton’s fingernails against Janus’s hair caused a sort of mewl to escape Janus’s throat. Patton giggled softly against Janus’s lips, and the puffs of air that Janus felt against his mouth made him just want to kiss Patton even more insistently. So he did.
Janus wasn’t quite sure how long they ended up kissing for, but he did know that at the end of it, his hair was most definitely a dishevelled mess, Patton’s glasses were askew, his cardigan discarded from his shoulders, and both of them were grinning like idiots.
“Wow,” Janus mused, unable to form coherent thoughts, “that was-“
“Amazing,” Patton finished for him with a grin. Janus nodded in silent agreement.
“I should have just told you the whole truth before,” he mused. Patton wrapped his arms tightly around Janus’s shoulders, pulling his face close once again.
“You really should have. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out all this time,” Patton sighed against his mouth, leaning in and kissing Janus’ again, “and-“ he added, breaking away briefly, “in case it wasn’t clear, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, too. I really like you, Janus.”
“Good,” Janus smiled, leaning down and pressing their lips together again. He would kiss Patton whenever and wherever he could just to chase the feeling of soft lips against his, gentle hands in his hair and a warm, comforting body right under his hands.
Maybe Janus should thank Roman, after all.
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stardustanddaffodils · 4 years ago
Text
my blurry lines come into focus
@moceit-appreciation-week day 4: animal
masterlist
Notes: title is from “Everything Changes” from, you guessed it, Waitress. oh also Remus uses ze/zir pronouns in this and if I use them wrong at any point or anything, please let me know
Pairings: Moceit
Word count: 1047
Warnings: death, depressive episodes (?), grief, dogs, food, kissing (not described in detail), lmk if i missed anything!
Summary: Janus wants Patton to start living again, and he has a good idea on how to do it.
Patton’s been in a bit of a divot since his mother died. And by in “a bit of a divot,” Janus means that he’s barely gotten out of bed in the week and a half since the funeral. He doesn’t eat without coaxing and he’s a complete shell of his usual self… which makes sense, given that he’s just lost his mom, but it still hurts Janus to see him like this, and Patton can’t go on like this forever—neither of them can. What Patton needs is something to motivate him to start living again, and Janus thinks he knows how to do it.
They’ve both discussed the possibility of getting a pet in the past, but have never gotten as far as acting upon it. Janus has put his foot down about adopting a cat and while Patton certainly doesn’t have anything against snakes, he has confessed that he’s not really sure how he feels about living with one, especially as his first pet. Janus can understand that. They eventually agreed on looking into getting a dog and even began researching how to care for one properly and all those logistics. All that’s left is to actually take the next step.
After a few clicks, Janus’ cursor is poised over the website for the local animal shelter.
A few days later, Janus goes to check it out. He’d bring Patton, but his husband has been wearing the same pajamas for the past three days, and Janus really doesn’t think an outing is the best idea for him right now. Besides, Janus kind of wants to surprise Patton—his husband loves surprises, and Janus is still a little salty about his last attempt falling through because Patton found out about the surprise birthday party he’d planned last year.
At the shelter, the employee, Remus, leads him into the area with the dogs. Janus isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to be looking for and is trying to figure out what sort of questions he should be asking when the dog that they’re passing gives a booming bark.
“Roman! No barking!” Remus chides, but ze sounds more affectionate than upset. The dog barks again, and a soft, repetitive thudding sound echoes from near him—her? Janus moves closer.
Roman’s tongue lolls, almost like he’s smiling, and his tail wags so hard that it whacks against the wall, thump, thump, thump. Janus kneels down.
“Hey, buddy.”
The dog’s tail wags harder.
“This is Roman,” Remus says. “He’s a mix, we know he’s part St. Bernard but the rest is a mystery.”
“He seems sweet,” Janus says.
“Oh, very. He can be a little energetic sometimes, but he’s a good boy.” Remus smiles at him, and Janus thinks zir expression almost seems knowing.
The next thing he knows, Remus is shoving a leash into Janus’ hand and an enthusiastic wall of fur is eagerly sniffing Janus because at the shelter, people considering adoption are encouraged to take the dog for a walk around the adoption center to get to know them better. Somehow, though, as Janus ruffles Roman’s fur and the dog’s tail wags frantically, Janus thinks he knows this is the one.
A few days later, everything has been finalized, Patton hasn’t left their room enough to notice the dog supplies filling their house, and it’s time to bring Roman home.
“Patton, darling?” Janus asks after he’s finished getting ready. Patton looks at him through foggy eyes. “Do you think you’re up for an outing today? I have a surprise for you.”
Patton’s eyes clear a little, but he shakes his head. “Sorry to ruin your surprise—”
“You haven’t ruined anything, sweetheart. I’ll just bring it to you.”
Patton raises his eyebrows. Janus only smirks mysteriously, pecking his husband on the cheek. “How about coming down to the living room? Does that sound manageable today?”
Patton hums noncommittally, and Janus takes that as his cue to help his husband out of bed and slowly start down the stairs. He sets Patton up on the couch with a blanket, puts some waffles and a glass of orange juice on the coffee table, then kisses Patton goodbye and heads out.
A short while later he and Roman are home and Janus scratches the dog behind the ears and hopes that the new addition to the family will help get Patton out of bed a bit more, at the very least.
“Be good, okay?” Janus tells the dog. Roman barks.
“Jan Jan?” Patton calls from the living room. “What was that?”
Janus lets go of Roman’s leash and the dog bounds towards the sound of Patton’s voice, Janus trailing behind. Janus arrives in the living room just in time to hear Patton let out a soft “Oof!” as Roman jumps to place his front paws on Patton’s lap, tail wagging so hard it’s in danger of knocking over a nearby lamp.
“Who’s this?” Patton says with a hoarse laugh.
“This is Roman. We’d been discussing getting a dog for a little while, and, well… I thought now might be a good time?”
Maybe adding a new pet and all the uncertainty that comes with it into the mix wouldn’t be the best thing for most people, but Janus knows Patton, and Patton lives to care for people. Besides, maybe having to walk and feed Roman will help motivate him to get out of bed more frequently, and Janus knows that he’ll be able to pick up the slack.
Sure enough, as Roman turns away from Patton and moves towards the half-eaten waffle on the coffee table, which Janus quickly snatches out of the way, Patton gives the first real smile that Janus has seen from him since his mother died.
“You got a dog?” Patton gasps, running his fingers through Roman’s fur.
Janus leans in and answers with a kiss that’s quickly broken by the sound of a crash.
Roman pants innocently, tail still wagging rapidly in the empty space where their lamp had been.
Patton and Janus look at each other, then at their dog and the broken lamp, then at each other again. Roman tilts his head to one side, his vigorously wagging tail now threatening to topple a pile of magazines.
For the first time in days, laughter fills the Dasgupta-Sanders household.
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exhaustedfander · 4 years ago
Note
For the prompt: Intrulogical, one of them is sick, one must take care of the other
I haven’t written a sickfic in ages and I forgot how cute these things were. I decided to make Remus the one taking care of Logan because I like the idea of the bastard man being soft for one(1) nerd. I’d love to hear what you guys think, enjoy! 
a03 link 
Word Count: 3,313
I’ll Take Care of You [Intrulogical]
Logan wakes with a pounding in his head, feeling as though his body has been (figuratively) lit on fire. His hand skims over the bedsheet, something that’s quite odd to him; he doesn’t recall climbing into bed. He groans, squinting, and noticing his apparent lack of spectacles. In attempting to sit up Logan feels a pair of hands pressing him back into pillows.
“Easy there, hot stuff,” Remus. Why is Logan in bed with an ache deep in his bones, and why is Remus here? "Emphasis on the hot because you’re burning up.”
Remus, in what Logan can only assume is a moment of incredible generosity, hands him his glasses. Logan slides them over his face, looking down at his clothes to see he is not, in fact, in his normal attire but rather a pair of outer space-themed pajamas. And when he glances at Remus there isn’t the usual manic look in his eyes, but rather one he’d nearly dare to call concern.
“What happened? What’s – what’s going on?” Logan can’t ignore the rawness in his throat that burns when he speaks.
“You and I were having a conversation about the best way to kill a man without getting caught,” Remus explains casually. Yes, Logan seems to remember that to some extent. They had rattled off the ideas of poisoning as well as the many ways one can frame a murder to appear accidental, “And then you just plopped onto the floor like all of your bones had turned to jelly! When I touched your head I realized you were burning hot and in your fatigue, I guess you passed out cold. Y’know, teach, for someone who argues the importance of wellness as much as you do, you really aren’t practicing what you preach. When was the last time you slept? Or put some food in you?”
Logan had never thought that Remus of all people would be in a position to scold him about his life choices, and yet here he is.
“I – well, I suppose I’m not –.” Remus cocks an eyebrow.
“you’re not sure? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Here, drink some water,” Remus says, handing him a glass, “God, Roman goes on and on about your “extremist water agenda” meanwhile you’re dehydrated as fuck.” Logan drains the glass quickly, bearing the heavy weight of Remus’s stare. As Logan attempts to untangle himself from the bedsheets Remus’s hand settles on his shoulder, pinning him in place.
“Remus –.”
“Not so fast, nerdy wolverine,” Remus says in what could almost be constituted as a scolding tone, “You’ve worked yourself into sickness and now you’re paying the price. Imagine if you’d collapsed in front of one of the others? Pattycake, for example, well he would’ve flipped his lid, I’m sure. Or my brother, for instance, might’ve tried to “rescue you” into recovery. But me, not so much.” Logan lays back down, feeling fairly defeated though he’s rather distracted by the throbbing in his head.
“And you’re the no-nonsense type?” It seems even in sickness, Logan’s dry-wit hasn’t left him. What a miracle.
“Oh, I’m all for nonsense,” Remus says with a gleeful smile before turning back to Logan, “And as much fun as it would be for Thomas to be without his logic for a while – which, believe me, I considered – I’m sure the others would have my head. Oh, isn’t that delightful to think about? My head on a spike oozing blood? And – and my tongue would be sticking out of my tongue like this,” Remus imitates, his tongue growing several inches longer and hanging limp against his chin. “But seriously, knock that shit off. You can’t just go passing out in front of people, you of all sides should be taking your health into consideration.”
“And that’s why you put me to bed?” Logan asks, eyeing Remus as carefully as he can despite the splotches of color that cloud his vision, “Because you were concerned about how the others would react to me being unwell?” For a moment Remus looks almost as flushed as Logan is, which the logical side finds rather odd. Remus isn’t one to become easily embarrassed; sometimes Logan wonders if it’s even capable for him to become as such.
“Think of it as me paying back a favor. I mean, you’ve helped me out too many times to count. Remember when you took that arrow out of my eye?” Remus asks with a laugh, “Ah, good times.”
“And that’s the only reason you’ve decided to help me and uh, dress me?” Logan asks, glancing back down at his clothes that he doesn’t recall changing into.
“Well, dressing you isn’t very hard at all,” Remus says, snapping his fingers and suddenly losing every stitch of clothing. Logan covers his eyes as though it’s anything he hasn’t seen before. “See, undressed,” Remus snaps again, “dressed! Undressed, dressed. Oh, stop covering your eyes, dork, you and I both know this isn’t the first time you’ve seen my dick.”
That’s the thing. If you’d have told Logan he and Remus would someday be sleeping together regularly, he would’ve thought such a thing was preposterous. In fact, even friendship between them was something he hadn’t considered in the cards. And even so, before he understood what was going on he and Remus were cultivating a relationship.
Logan hadn’t thought it at first, but as it turns out, Remus is a very good listener. Yes, he tends to drift from topic to topic on a whim, but Logan’s come to not mind that much at all. He indulges in Logan’s rants about outer space, the depths of the ocean, and the secrets that hide beneath the briny deep, the most peculiar flora and fauna that exist on the planet as well as so many other topics. He does more than put up with Logan’s interests, he encourages them. It’s refreshing, the conversations that he and Remus have.
Remus brings out something strange in Logan, an impulsion he wasn’t aware he was even capable of. Remus is crude and reckless and all over the place, but Logan’s become endeared to him in more ways he’d ever imagined possible. It was out of this impulsion that Remus prompts in him so that Logan kissed the intrusive side several months ago. In the past, he’d never dare to do something so messy and feelings-y, but after spending as much time as he had with Remus as well as the emotions surrounding him, for one of the first times in his existence Logan allowed himself to let loose.
Their relationship was initially driven by lust, but it took very little time for things to deepen. It had been one thing for Logan to enjoy spending time with Remus, but now he looked forward to it every chance he got, his face betraying his stoic nature in a smile every time Remus entered the room. Before long, Remus was using the word boyfriend and Logan was accepting it.
The thought that he’s worried his partner, even in the state of near delusion he’s in, crosses his mind.
“M’ sorry for worrying you,” Logan says, his voice slurring slightly as though he’s intoxicated. Remus sighs, kneeling beside Logan and pushing aside his bangs that are plastered with sweat to his forehead. Remus has only ever seen Logan so disheveled during sex, and he’s certainly never seen him so weak.
“Who says I was worried?” Remus asks as though his tone of voice hasn’t already betrayed it, “Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little worried, fucking sue me.”
“You’re taking care of me,” Logan notes dizzily, leaning into Remus’s touch as he runs a hand through his messy hair, “That’s nice.”
“Shit, Lo, you’re loopier than I thought,” Remus musses, seeing the far-off look in his boyfriend’s eyes, “How’s your head?”
“It hurts.” Remus is fairly sure this is the first time he’s ever heard logic whine, and he’d be a damn liar if he said it isn’t kind of adorable.
“Okay, okay, I’ll get you some medicine,” Remus says, getting up to leave before feeling Logan’s clammy hand clamp down on his wrist.
“Logan?”
“Don’t leave,” Logan’s voice comes out weak and sad, “Please don’t leave.” It’s almost too much to handle, the sentimentality to Logan’s words as well as the almost juvenile desire for him to stay by his side as if something horrible will become of him if Remus leaves. There’s no way Logan’s going to believe any of this transpired once his head is clear again. Remus really should be filming this.
“Aw, Lolo, stop being so cute for a second, okay? I need to go get you some medicine and something to eat.”
“I’m not cute,” Logan pouts, “I’m serious, remember? Necktie…” Remus chuckles.
“Strange, I don’t see a tie on you at the moment.” Logan huffs. “Just stay there for a second, okay? I’ll get you some medicine, it’ll make you feel better.” Remus can’t recall the last time he acted so civilly. “Taking care” of others really isn’t his thing, destruction and utter chaos is. If any of the others were ill, he doesn’t think he’d be acting the way he is, so put together and fucking caring, it almost makes him sick to think about. But Logan isn’t anybody else, he’s his boyfriend who’s overworked himself to the point of delusion and maybe he’s being a tad bit protective, but the idea of someone else taking care of Logan leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Just because he’s Remus doesn’t mean he’s any less capable of doing so, or at least that’s what he’s telling himself.
Remus comes back with the medicine and has to spend several minutes convincing Logan to take it; who knew he was such a bad patient? He sits with him a while listening to Logan spout almost as much nonsense that Remus usually does before Logan drifts off again.
“Don’t worry,” Remus whispers, pressing a kiss to Logan’s temple, “I’ll take care of you, dork.”
It’s a stupidly heartfelt thing to say, especially when Logan is clearly asleep, but it just seems to slip out. Remus slinks out of the room as quietly as he can, shutting the door behind him gently rather than slamming it like he usually does before wandering into the kitchen.
Remus is surprised to find Patton humming tunelessly as he stirs a pot of soup.
“Oh! Hiya Remus,” Patton says when he catches sight of him, looking a little startled in his presence. Even so, Remus has been hanging around the light sides a lot more, especially since Janus got accepted by Thomas, so Patton’s had some time to get a bit more used to him.
“Hi, Pattycake,” Remus greets, “Whatcha making? It smells good.”
“Chicken noodle soup,” he replies matter-of-factly, “It’s for Logan.” Remus quirks an eyebrow. That’s what Remus was about to attempt to make himself, but this smells homemade.
“How’d you know he was sick?”
“Oh, a dad has a way of knowing when his kiddos aren’t doing so hot,” Patton replies cryptically, “I also noticed Logan seemed a little off earlier. How’s he doing?” Remus pulls himself onto the kitchen counter, swinging his legs.
“Not fan-fucking-tastic,” Remus notes the way Patton bites his lip at that, probably about to scold him for his “potty mouth,” “I’ve told that nerd a billion gazillion times that he needs to take better care of himself. I swear he’s so wrapped up in looking after the rest of you I think he forgets about himself.” Patton hums thoughtfully.
“You really care about him, don’t you?” Remus blinks, the back and forth motion of his legs ceasing.
“Huh?” Patton smiles.
“I’ve heard the way Logan talks about you. I don’t even think he realizes how sweet he sounds when he’s saying it, about the conversations you two have and the experiments you do together. You make him awfully happy, you know that?”
Remus wants to play off the shock the statement has provoked. He wants to grin manically and talk about butts, or Jeffrey Dahmer, or anything else other than the warmth that blooms in the cavity in his chest where he believed a heart wasn’t present. But he can’t.
“Logan talks about me?” Patton laughs like Remus has just asked the most absurd question.
“Well of course he does, silly! You’re his boyfriend, aren’t ya?”
“I – uh – yeah. Yeah, I am. I didn’t know you knew that, though?” It comes out as a question. He’s never mentioned it to anyone except Janus, thinking that Logan wouldn’t want to tell the others.
“Yeah, Janus told me about it.” Remus’s jaw slackens. “Oh dear, was I not supposed to know that?”
“I mean, it’s not a secret, I guess. I’m just kind of surprised Double D would tell you.”
“Well, I’m sure I would’ve figured it out, either way, the way you two look at each other is so gosh darn cute! Janny just mentioned it in passing, really.” Remus narrows his eyes at Patton.
“Janny? There’s no way in hell Janus would let anyone call him that.” Patton flushes at that.
“You should hear the other things he lets me call him…” Remus slaps a hand over his mouth.
“Holy balls! Are you and Jan-the-man fucking?” Patton’s blush deepens as he turns the oven off and gets a bowl out of the cupboard.
“Well, looks like the soup’s ready! Better take some to Logan before it gets cold!” Remus hops off the counter with as much grace, taking the bowl from Patton’s hands and eyeing him suspiciously.
“This is not the end of this conversation,” he says, not missing the way Patton’s Adam’s apple bobs in a gulp, “I gotta admit, I’m kinda surprised you’re letting me take care of the nerd. I would think you’d jump at the chance to play nurse.” Patton shrugs.
“Well, I wouldn’t want to encroach on your time with him. I know you and I have had our disagreements,” Remus bites back to urge to say a very Roman-esque ‘UH understatement much!’, “But I also know you care a lot about Logan. And you also-also know that if anything bad ever happened to him that I would be very, very upset with you,” Patton flashes a demented smile clearly meant to intimidate Remus and he can certainly respect that. The smile fades back to his normal cheery nature as quickly as it appeared, “Now, get going and make him feel a Pat-ton better, okay kiddo?” Remus snorts at the silly name pun, taking a spoon from the drawer before taking the bowl down the hall.
“See ya around, Daddio.” Remus decides he’s going to have to kick Janus’s ass for not telling him about him and Patton. More so, though, Remus’s mind is occupied by the fact that Logan has spoken about him fondly and that Patton claimed that their affection for one another was obvious. To some extent, Remus had been under the assumption that Logan wouldn’t want to mention their relationship at all.
Remus opens the door slowly, balancing the bowl in his elbow as he finds Logan blinking awake at him. As much as he’d wanted to let Logan sleep, he isn’t sure the last time he’s had anything to eat.
“Remus?”
“I’m right here,” Remus says setting the bowl down on the bedside table and kneeling beside Logan’s bed, “I brought you some soup.” Logan squints, reaching for his glasses again and putting them back on.
“Huh?”
“Patton made you some, LoLo. Pops said he had a hunch you weren’t doing so hot. He’s a real smart cookie when it comes to taking care of you all, huh?” Logan scrunches up his face.
“I don’t want any.” Remus lets out an exasperated sigh.
“Oh come on, dorkalicious. You need to eat something, and it’ll be good for you.”
“Says the guy who regularly consumes deodorant.”
“Hey, that’s unrelated. I’m not the one who let myself get into such rough shape. Now be a good boy and eat your fucking chicken-noodle-soup.” Logan groans as Remus blows on a spoonful of soup and brings it towards Logan’s mouth. Logan sighs, opening his mouth and sighing around the spoon as he swallows a mouthful.
“Hungry, aren’t you?” Logan fails to reply, sitting up and placing the bowl in his lap. Remus watches as Logan devours the soup at record speed, draining the bowl in a few minutes. Remus chuckles, setting the bowl aside and seeing the way Logan’s eyes begin to droop again.
“You left me,” Logan pouts childishly, earning another laugh from his boyfriend.
“You fell asleep, babe,” Remus chides, “And I needed to get you something to eat. I never thought you’d be such a brat when you’re sick.” Logan sags back into the pillows as Remus pets his hair again.
“M’ not a brat,” Logan mumbles sleepily.
"Oh of course you aren’t. You’re just my difficult little shithead boyfriend. But a brat? You’d never dare be such a thing.” Logan makes a noncommittal noise before muttering something that sounds vaguely like “Come here.”
“What was that?” Logan sighs.
“Come here,” Logan repeats more clearly. “I want you to hold me.” Remus could scratch his own eyes out Logan is being so cute! His boyfriend is always so formal and presentable, which is nothing that Remus particularly minds, but this behavior is so out of character it’s kind of a lot to process. Logan seldom asks for cuddles, even when he wants them, so this direct neediness comes as a surprise.
“Fine, but only because you’re ailing,” Remus says dramatically as if he doesn’t always jump at the chance to cuddle with his boyfriend. Logan relaxes against Remus, throwing his arms around him loosely and snuggling into his shoulder. Logan’s skin is still clearly flushed, but his fever seems to be going down.
“Are you feeling any better?” Remus asks, his voice conveying more worry than he intends to express.
“A bit,” Logan mutters, “Thanks for looking after me.”
“Sure thing, dork. I mean, someone had to do it.”
“Yes, but you didn’t have to. You’re good, Rem. Really good.” Remus smiles, pressing a kiss to Logan’s cheek.
“You’re such a fucking sap when you’re delirious, it’s too cute.” Logan ignores that, his eyes fluttering closed.
“I love you, Remus.” Remus feels his heartrate spike as Logan’s grip around him tightens slightly. Remus knew that he and Logan share some very mushy, gushy feelings, but Logan loves him? Genuinely, truly loves him? For some time now he’s been trying to ignore the true depth of his feelings for Logan, not wanting to endanger a good thing, but now it looks like he doesn’t have to. Granted, Logan’s admitted these feelings in a state of delusion, but Remus doesn’t believe it to be any less true. If Patton says he sees their chemistry and Logan’s been as clingy as he has been, then he’s gonna choose to believe it.
“I love you too,” he says softly, far gentler than he’d ever imagined the admission would be – not that he really thought he’d ever get the opportunity to tell him in the first place. “I’m crazy about you, Lo.”
“Don’t let me go,” Logan says lethargically, half-asleep already, “I don’t wanna wake up to you being gone.”
“Okay, nerd,” Remus says, his heart – yes, he’s concluded that he’s got a heart somewhere in his chest, considering how soft Logan’s made him feel today – overflowing with love, “I’ll stay. I’m not going anywhere.”
“That will be satisfactory,” Logan mumbles before slipping back into unconsciousness.
Remus lies awake in Logan’s arms, thinking of how not long-ago Logan had considered himself completely emotionless and he had thought of himself as void of the capability for affection or love. Remus has never been so glad to be proven wrong.
=+=
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impatentpending · 4 years ago
Text
You Test My Nerves (it makes me stronger)
The facts followed: Virgil was unhappy around Janus.  Virgil was happy around Roman.  Janus liked Virgil being happy.  Therefore, Janus needed to help Virgil be around Roman. And, if Virgil was so eternally grateful for Janus helping him get his crush that he hugged Janus tight and called him dad again, well.  That was simply a fortunate side effect.
Charity commission for the wonderful @infawrit10!
Request: Janus coaching Virgil on how to confess his feelings to Roman, set in the ‘verse of Bother Me A Little Bit Longer. 
Romantic prinxiety, romantic moceit, and paternal anxceit
Read on AO3
Word count: 2.3k
tws: mild angst, swearing, and innuendo
_____________________________________
“So,” Janus purred, lounging in the doorway, blocking Virgil’s exit.  “Roman, hm?”
Virgil flushed hot – from anger or embarrassment Janus couldn’t tell.  “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Janus.”
Janus clucked his tongue, shaking his head.  “Such little respect for your poor, dear father.”
Virgil grit his teeth.  “You’re not my father.”
Janus made a show of tugging off his glove and inspecting his golden wedding ring.  “Oh, you’re right.  Clearly this is a fake and mine and Patton’s marriage certificate a clever forgery.”
“Shut it.”  Virgil shouldered past him, stomping off down the hallway.  “Just leave me alone!”  He called over his shoulder.
 “Virgil again?”  Patton asked with a sympathetic smile, later, when they were curled up on the loveseat in their room.
Janus huffed something that could’ve passed for a laugh.  “Am I that obvious?”
“You’ve been making a face all afternoon.”  Patton sighed, resting his head on the curve of his husband’s shoulder.  “He’ll come around.  He just needs time.”
“Right.”  A sour, bitter taste grew in the back of Janus’ throat.  “I’m sure you’re right.”
 It was almost sickeningly adorable, how Virgil looked at Roman.
He didn’t even seem aware he was doing it, glances darted at the other side turning into sustained gazing, a small smile curling his lips, only to transform into a scowl whenever the other side caught him looking.
“Enjoying the view, Chris What-a-Pratt?”  Roman ran a hand through his hair, winking.
“Just trying to figure you out, Princey,” Virgil deadpanned, coughing into his sleeve to hide the red creeping up his neck.  “I’m shocked you don’t topple over with a head that big.”
Cue Roman sputtering indignantly, flouncing across the room to sit next to Virgil, knees brushing, and going off on a tangent, lauding his superior features and perfect proportions, thank you, Mr. Drab-cy.  Cue Virgil snorting with laughter, doling out insults no one who could see the adoration in his eyes would ever believe held an ounce of venom.
Janus did his best to make himself scarce whenever Virgil and Roman started in on their odd half-courtship.  He, with his multiple divorces and marriages with Patton, wasn’t one to judge how others flirted.  Besides, seeing Virgil so light, so happy… it was just good.  It felt right in a way he hadn’t experienced since the last family breakfast he had with Virgil and Remus, so long ago.
He didn’t like the way Virgil’s smile would melt away as soon as he spotted Janus.
He just needed time, according to Patton.  He’d come around, according to Patton.  It would be fine, according to Patton.
Well, as much as he loved his on-again, off-again husband, he was the first to agree that Patton wasn’t always right.  
The facts followed: Virgil was unhappy around Janus.  Virgil was happy around Roman.  Janus liked Virgil being happy.  Therefore, Janus needed to help Virgil be around Roman.
And, if Virgil was so eternally grateful for Janus helping him get his crush that he hugged Janus tight and called him dad again, well.  That was simply a fortunate side effect.
“Ah, I fear our dearest Thomas calls, my dear scare-amour.”  Roman brushed himself off, rising to his feet, before shooting a wink at the other side.  “We’ll be continuing this later.”
For a moment, Virgil’s face was lit with a glowing smile, but he pushed it away, swallowing and burrowing back into his hoodie.  “Yeah.  Sure, that sounds… goo- whatever.”
“Oh.”  Roman blinked as he sunk out.  “Glad to hear I’m whatever.”
“Wait, no!”  Virgil blurted.  “I just meant–”
But Roman was already gone.
Virgil groaned, flopping back on the couch, pulling a pillow over his face, and producing a very muffled ‘fuck’.
“A wonderful showing,” Janus purred, slinking out of the shadows.  “When should I expect the wedding invitations to be sent out?”
Virgil shot up, scowling at the other side as he coiled up on the couch beside him.  “Janus.”
“Virgil,” Janus shot back.  “Dear, I thought I raised you better than that.”
“Sorry,” Virgil said dryly, “I think I missed the day you took me and Remus out for a wonderful picnic in the sunshine and laid out exactly what to do when a prince winks at you.”  He rolled his eyes, curling up against the couch arm, hugging a pillow to his chest.  “I know I’m a disaster.  Could you skip the villainous monologue and leave me to my suffering?”
“So dramatic,” Janus sighed.  “As the side most qualified, I merely wanted to help you out with your… royal issue, but if my generosity is to be so refuted…” 
He stood, and there was a terrifying moment of silence where he thought Virgil was going to let him go, but a scoff came from behind him.
“What makes you think you are qualified to help me out here?”
“I'm a professional simp, and I’ve convinced Patton to marry me over thirty times.”  Janus examined his gloves, casually turning, biting down his smile.  “But by all means, continue to pine for the rest of your miserable life, I’m sure that’ll get you just what you want.”
Virgil slowly uncurled himself, eyeing the other side warily.  “And what do you want?  Going to steal our firstborn?”
“Do we need to send you to Logan for a refresher on biology?”  Janus asked, dryly.  “There’s this thing called ‘the goodness of my heart’ I’ve been meaning to try out.”
Virgil scoffed, making to stand up, and Janus cleared his throat, tacking on a: “Besides, Patton’s been badgering me to ‘make an effort’ with the three of you, or whatever, so…”  He shrugged.  “Ending the disgusting pining in here certainly beats sleeping on the couch for a week.”
Virgil stared at him for a long moment, jaw working, and Janus held himself very, very still.
“Fine.”  Virgil sighed, worrying his sleeves between his fingers.  “What do I need to do?”
 “Okay,” Virgil huffed, arranging the bouquet in his hands for perhaps the millionth time.  “Okay.”
“Say it a few more times, maybe it’ll be true,” Janus said, dryly.
Virgil shot him a disgruntled glare, and Janus sighed, plucking off the note on the bouquet.
“‘Roman’,” he read, “‘you’re alright’.  Wow, I’m sure he’s going to leap straight into your arms.”
“Give me that!’  Virgil snatched it back, scowling.  “Look, you gave me one good idea, or whatever.  Can you just go?”
“And leave my son to suffer?  What type of guardian would I be?” Janus fanned a hand over his chest, pushing down a pang at Virgil’s mutter of ‘not your son’.
“Here.”  Janus summoned pen and paper and pushed them into Virgil’s hands, pacing back and forth.  “Something to this effect: Dearest, Roman – don’t forget the comma – I thought you deserved something just as special as you.  Yours, emo nightmare.”
Virgil copied his words down, face flaming.  “It isn’t too… desperate?  I don’t want him thinking I’m some…”  He trailed off, embarrassment clogging his throat.
“Virgil.”  Janus stopped, gently taking his chin in a gloved hand and raising it.  “Roman isn’t going to think anything like that.  You’re perfect, Virgil.”
He smirked.  “Now go leave those flowers in front of his door and run like the coward you are.”
Virgil blinked, shaking his head as if to knock his thoughts into order.  “Right, um.”  He teetered in the doorway, fiddling with the bouquet.  “Thanks, I guess.”
Janus rolled his eyes and turned away to hide his smile.  “Don’t mention it.”
 “He liked them!”  Janus found himself ambushed by a very flustered emo when he went into the kitchen the next morning, Virgil grabbing onto his arm and pulling him to the table.  He was practically glowing, grin unabashed and eyes shining.
“What else would you expect from my fine tutelage?”  Janus smirked, turning to the coffee maker.  “Good job, though.  I’m proud of you.”
For a moment, the only sound was the bubble of brewing coffee.  Virgil’s brow was furrowed, mouth working uselessly.
“Anyway,” Janus continued, deciding to have mercy on him.  “How do you know?  What’d he say?”
“Oh, um.”  Virgil floundered for a very different reason and muttered something, too quick to hear.
Janus blinked.  “What was that?”
Virgil burrowed deeper into his hoodie, averting his eyes.  “He… um.”  A small smile crossed his red face.  “He kissed my cheek.”
Janus gasped.  “Virgil, you floozy!  How scandalous!”
Virgil snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah.”
“I’m quite serious,” Janus drawled, smiling, “everyone knows the cheek is the doorway to the bedroom.”
“Ugh, gross.”  Virgil gagged, pulling a face.  “You’re not allowed to say that stuff.”
“Why ever not, dear?”  Janus flashed a fanged grin, pushing a mug of coffee into Virgil’s hands.
“Because,” he emphasized, taking it, “no one wants to hear their da–”
He cut himself off.
Silence.
“Their dad’s husband,” Virgil said, quietly.  “That’s what I was going to say.”
Janus could feel something like agony settling in the lines of his face.  He turned away, shuttered his expression closed.  “Of course.”
“Right.”  Virgil swallowed hard, fingers tightening around his mug.  “Right.”
“Guess I better check on your dear father, then,” Janus said, voice clipped as he filled Patton’s favorite mug.  “If all I am is his husband.”
He slithered from the room without another glance at Virgil.
Virgil sat there, alone, sipping at a coffee made just the way he liked, trying not to know where the sickness in his stomach came from.
 Virgil stood before the yellow and blue door, wavering.
“You’re being dumb,” he muttered, raising a hand to knock, before promptly spinning on his heel and walking off.
“No, you don’t need that slimy snake,” he muttered, before turning around.
“Oh, but he kinda knows what he’s doing.”  Virgil worried at his bottom lip, before finally sighing, marching up to the door and knocking before he could talk himself out of it.
“Janus,” he said before the door could even fully open, “I get if you’re upset or whatever, but I really need to know what to do with Roman– and you’re not Janus.”
“Perils of sharing a room,” Patton said, flashing a wry smile, “I tend to snake into his conversations.  Everything alright, kiddo?”
“Fine,” Virgil said, shortly.  “Just looking for Janus.”
“If he’s sulking, he’ll be in the library.”  A flash of mischief shone in Patton’s eye.  “We’ve got a few fun memories shelf-ed there.”
“What do you–”  Virgil stopped, grimaced.  “Actually, I don’t think I want to know.  Thanks.”
He turned, but before he could stalk off, Patton spoke.
“He loves you, you know,” he said, gently.  “Just as much as I do.”
“Yeah,” Virgil said, and the words felt like sandpaper in his throat.  “I know.”
 Janus was, in fact, in the library, curled up with a book he seemed to be staring at more than actually reading.
“There’s this great new invention,” Virgil said.  “It’s called reading comprehension – all the rage these days.”
Janus startled, but his expression settled into coolness as soon as he spotted the other side.
“Virgil,” he said, mildly.  “I was just hoping for another insult.  Got to fulfill the daily quota, you know.”
Virgil winced.  “Look, I didn’t mean it like that.  And I get if you hate me for not being who you remember, but I’m different now.  I can’t be who I was to you anymore.”
But Janus just looked at him with a tired sort of fondness, mouth twisted up into a smile that was only a little sad.
“Virgil,” he said, softly.  “I’m sorry.”
Virgil startled.  “What?”
“I’m sorry.”  He swallowed, hard.  “I must’ve done everything wrong for you to ever think I could do anything but love you, whoever you turn out to be.”
Virgil blinked at him, swallowing down the lump rising in his throat.
“I think,” he said, voice thick, “I have a few apologies to make.”
“We both have a few apologies to make,” Janus corrected, gently, then laughed.  “I guess I need to learn my lesson as well.”
 They worked it out.
 Not perfectly, of course.  Emotionally repressed idiots they were, of course it wasn’t perfect.  A strange sort of tension still settled in their shoulders when someone brought up the past; certain tones still put them both on edge; snide references to a shared memory could produce bouts of laughter or tense, taunt silence in equal measure, but it was better.
Time wore away the brittle edges of their words, until, at last, their sharpness was almost gone.
 Not gone, however, were Virgil’s terrible flirting strategies.
“No,” Janus said, when he tried telling Roman he didn’t hate it when Roman sang.
“No,” Janus said, when Virgil tried ignoring Roman to ‘play it cool’.
“Maybe,” he said, when Virgil punched Roman’s shoulder and said ‘you fight good’.
“Okay,” Janus sighed, sitting on Virgil’s bed.  “I think we should probably just go for it.”
“What?!”  Virgil sat up, spine ramrod straight, eyes wide.  “No! It’s way too soon for that!”
“Oh, you’re right,” Janus drawled.  “Knowing someone thirty one years, flirting with them for five, and asking them out after they flirt back, accept your gifts with gusto, and kiss your cheek?  Too much.  Shame on me.”
“You’re the worst,” Virgil hissed, hands pressed to his face.
“I try,” Janus said, smugly.  “But hear me out here – you could always say something at mine and Patton’s next wedding.  You know how emotional those things tend to make him.”
“That’s…”  Virgil took a deep breath, fiddling with the ends of his hoodie strings.  “That’s a pretty good idea, actually.”
Janus stood up, slithering towards the door.  “In that case, I better ask Patton for another divorce.”
Virgil snorted, flopping back on his bed with a grin. “What’s your excuse this time?”
“I’m sure I can think of something.”  Janus flashed a fanged smile, edged with that tenderness reserved for his occasional husband.  “He has been bothering me lately.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”  Virgil rolled his eyes, smiling.  “Later, dad.”
Janus stood stock-still, dumbfounded.
After a moment, Virgil looked up and blinked at him, oblivious.  “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Janus said, and turned to hide his smile.  “Nothing at all.”
_____________________________________
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notveryglittery · 4 years ago
Text
absolutely smitten
summary: sometimes your coworkers are ridiculously in love but too dumb to make a move so obviously you've got to give them a push in the right direction. wc: 4,700 / ship: roman/patton (royality) content: human au, actor au. patton-centric. some crying, some kissing. mutual, oblivious pining. confessions of ~love~! background talyn, joan, remy, and thomas.  background brotherly moxiety, romantic analogical, and frenemies(?) moceit. janus is kind of an asshole (but that’s patton’s opinion dot vine).  author’s note: so, sometime in october 2019, i saw this post by @sirasanders  for the first time ever which was, frankly, a Crime. because it had been posted in february 2019 and the fact that i had gone that long without seeing/being tagged in a royality post? Illegal. anyway, i was struck with inspiration and began writing and sure it might have taken nine months but... here it is! i'm really proud of it! i hope you enjoy! 
many thanks to @rosesisupposes​ for beta reading!! <3 read on ao3!
— — —
Patton was not a morning person. Sure, he liked the idea of sunrises and consistent schedules and having time to make himself a big breakfast. All of that, however, required waking up. So to put it more accurately, Patton was not a waking up person.
Usually, all it took was a cup of coffee.
Thankfully, that part was never something Patton really had to worry about. The sweet, sweet bean elixir was delivered to him personally each morning sometime after arriving on set. Something he did worry about, though? Constantly? Nearly every hour of every day? Just what exactly he and the bringer-of-drinks were.
Like… yeah! He and Roman were… friends? They were coworkers for sure, without a doubt, and Patton liked that a lot! Working with Roman never failed to brighten even his darkest days. Patton could arrive on set in the lowest of moods and sometimes all it took was one warm smile from Roman to melt the icy feeling in his veins. Sometimes, it was the way Roman would slide up next to him at the catering table, moaning about how hungry he was, asking for Patton’s opinion on what he should treat himself to. Sometimes, Roman would take Patton’s hand and lead him to The Sanders Couch and Roman would sit and then he’d pull Patton down onto his lap and they’d just stay there for a bit, Roman combing his hand through Patton’s hair and singing quietly… If Patton was being honest, that was the easiest and quickest way Roman helped him to feel better.
Just friends, though! Right?
Roman remembering Patton’s usual go-to orders from Starbucks didn’t mean anything. He was just being courteous. Maybe it wasn’t even that; maybe it was just Roman wanting to make sure Patton would be at his peak during their scenes. Actors had such bad reputations after all and the last thing Patton wanted was to be a nightmare to deal with on set. He was grateful, really, of all Roman did to help him!
He just wished he wasn’t so confused.
“Patton! Good morning!”
Okay, time to put all those confusing feelings away.
Talyn’s bright grin and brighter hair never failed to impress Patton. Maybe one day he’d learn their secret to feeling this energetic so early in the morning but until then, he’d just have to keep wishing for the day coffee chains lowered their prices.
“Morning, Tal,” Patton responded, unable to help himself as he reached out and ruffled Talyn’s colorful locks.
They grumbled and swatted his hand away. “I’d be offended that you don’t seem to realize how much time this takes but I don’t think you even know what a hairbrush is.”
Patton pouted and reached up to tug on one of his curls. “I’m hurt.”
Talyn huffed, a sort-of laugh that reminded him of Virgil, and rolled their eyes. “I’ll be extra gentle with your makeup to make up for it, then.”
Before Patton could express appreciation for the play on words, Talyn was swept up and away in a blur of blue plaid and orange. He was pretty sure it’d been Joan, given how they were scarcely seen without their tell-tale flashy beanie.
While interacting with Talyn had helped Patton wake up a little bit, he was already feeling the heaviness of being up early weighing him down again. The reminder of the scene they were supposed to be filming today probably wasn’t doing him any good, either. Not only was it going to be a lot of crying, which was already exhausting on its own, he and Roman were supposed to kiss. Patton was supposed to kiss the possibly-maybe-wouldn’t-it-be-nice love of his life.
His cheeks went hot at the very idea and Patton all but slammed his face into his hands and screamed into his palms.
“Easy, buttercup, wouldn’t want you bruising, hm?”
Patton lowered his hands and glared at Janus over his fingertips.
“Oops,” Janus smirked and stepped back. “Didn’t realize you haven’t had your coffee yet.”
Patton frowned and folded his arms over his chest. “Is it that obvious?”
Somehow, in the time it took him to blink, Janus had moved, loping around Patton with a contemplative hum. One of these days, he’d learn how Janus managed to get around so fast.
“Look,” he said, draping an arm over Patton’s shoulders and pointing, “right there.”
One of these days, Patton would stop falling for Janus’s pranks.
Today was not that day and so when Patton directed his gaze towards where Janus was gesturing, he was provided the very startling sight of Roman coming in from outside. He was practically glowing in the sunlight, his hair was tousled from the wind as if he’d rolled out of bed but left it intentionally disheveled, and they’d just made eye contact and so Patton saw clear as crystal the way Roman’s smile curled up so easily and prettily.
Oh no, he was so pretty.
Patton ducked out of Janus’s hold and bolted away, towards his dressing room.
That… could have gone worse? Yeah, he could’ve tripped while running away and face planted and made work super difficult for Talyn and ruined the whole shoot today and everyone would be mad at him for wasting their time—
“Patton?”
By absolute sheer willpower, Patton didn’t scream.
“I’ve got your caramel macchiato.”
Patton was going to melt.
“Extra extra espresso.”
Scratch that, Patton was already melting.
“Thomas said it looked like you’d need it.”
Wait, what?
Patton opened the door to handsome Roman, considerate Roman, lovely Roman, and spoke before his brain could get any more mushy at the sight of handsome considerate lovely Roman. “Thomas hasn’t even seen me today?”
Roman held the reusable tumbler out for Patton to take. “Extra caramel, too.”
Patton took the offered drink and if it weren’t for the fact that this happened nearly every morning, he’d surely have dropped it the moment his and Roman’s fingertips brushed. Thankfully, he’d gotten used to it by now. Mostly, his heart reminded him when butterflies took flight in his stomach. Right, yeah, mostly. Anyway.
“I’ll see you in a bit, then,” Roman said and Patton was probably imagining the soft earnesty in his tone. He tried to dial down his high hopes.
“In a bit, then…” Patton managed, smiling sweetly, before stepping back and closing the door.
By some miracle, he didn’t sink immediately to the ground despite definitely feeling like a melted marshmallow. Instead, he drained half of his drink and then finally let himself scream.
In a bit turned out to be a couple of hours. It wasn’t anything Patton wasn’t familiar with but that didn’t make it any less agonizing. An indie film meant a smaller crew which meant Talyn could do the makeup on only one actor at a time. Fortunately, the scenes today weren’t very extensive which meant less folks to work on. Unfortunately, the scenes weren’t extensive because they were all plenty aware of how emotionally draining they’d be and had essentially planned for it. Crying came pretty easily to Patton so he wasn’t worried about that part. It was the after: the headache, the puffy red skin, the sore throat.
Talyn muttered as they worked, wondering why they were even bothering with makeup when it was all going to be ruined by the end of filming, anyway. In the reflection of the mirror Patton was sitting in front of, he could just barely see Roman getting his hair fixed. He was gesturing, no doubt telling a story of some sort; Remy had to keep pushing his hands back down anytime they got in the way. Patton was sure the hairdresser was scowling as he worked. If anyone was less a morning person than Patton, it was Remy.
“I love that smile as much as the next, Pat,” Talyn said, sighing, “but I don’t need it just yet. I can’t work when your eyes are all cute and crinkly.”
He murmured a quick apology and schooled his expression into one carefully blank. Talyn got back to applying his eye makeup. It didn’t take much longer before they were finished and Patton was sent on his way to get his hair done next. He and Roman passed by each other and Patton did his best to not swoon quite so obviously when Roman grinned at him. This part went by considerably quicker given that Patton could no longer see Roman in any reflections and that Remy had no patience for anything taking longer than absolutely necessary. He was finished before Talyn was with Roman which meant Patton could head off to see their director for any final adjustments or tips.
Thomas looked like he’d been through the wringer and the day had barely begun. Patton was frowning as he approached, wondering if anyone had told Thomas that his shirt was inside out.
“Morning, kiddo,” Patton greeted, coming to a stop beside him.
Thomas startled, nearly dropping the script he was holding. “Patton!”
“Oops,” Patton said sheepishly, “didn’t mean to spook you.”
Thomas waved the papers dismissively. “Nah, I oughta be better aware of my surroundings. Especially with someone like Janus around.”
Patton scowled. “Yeah, he got me this morning.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Thomas responded and Patton did not like how cheeky he looked all of a sudden. “That one seemed more like a treat than it did a trick.”
Patton really wished he didn’t blush so easily! He couldn’t even try and cover his face because then he’d risk messing up Talyn’s hard work. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Uh huh.”
“Anyway,” Patton interrupted loudly before Thomas could keep teasing him. “Has anything changed with filming today that I should worry about?”
Thomas shook his head. “Nah, we’re still all on the same page.” He hesitated. “Sorry that today’s gonna be so taxing on you guys.”
“I’m just hoping we can get it done in one take.”
“If you don’t, Talyn will have to fix you up again,” a new voice said, effortlessly joining their discussion.
“Speak of the Devil,” Thomas muttered.
“And he shall appear!” Patton finished for him before turning to Janus with a glare. “You know it’s rude to eavesdrop?”
Janus shrugged carelessly. “Joan’s looking for you,” he told Thomas, as if backstage and onstage weren’t small enough for Joan to find Thomas relatively easy on their own.
Still, Thomas shot Patton an apologetic look and went off to find his best friend.
In a near perfect match of their earlier interaction, Patton faced Janus with crossed arms and a frown. “Could you stop messing with me? I really don’t need it on top of everything else going on today.”
“I haven’t a clue what you’re referring to, dear Patton,” Janus said sweetly, all faux innocence.
Patton tried to not let it get to him. The two rarely got along, even on their good days, and Janus knew this, which meant he especially delighted in bothering Patton on his bad days. There really wasn’t any reason for them to be like this except that Janus had been why Patton nearly missed his audition for this film and he’d never apologized and Patton was still holding a grudge.
“Darling, is he bothering you?”
Before Patton could react to the question, an arm slid around his shoulders. The body he was pulled against was warm and firm and smelled of cinnamon and oh no.
Janus was smirking wickedly.
“Roman,” he all but purred. “I would never bother the object of your affections. I wouldn’t even dream of it.”
Patton.exe has stopped functioning.
The conversation continued, if Janus’s moving lips were anything to go by, but none of it processed for Patton. Roman’s what? Surely they weren’t talking about him? No, it was just Janus playing another one of his mean pranks. It had to be! Roman couldn’t like Patton back because if he did… well, if he did, that meant the kiss they were supposed to share on screen today wouldn’t be quite so one-sided and… and that would mean Patton’s feelings weren’t entirely unfounded… Roman did always bring him coffee. He was there for Patton’s low moods. His smile was sometimes so sincere and soft that Patton thought he might melt anytime he was on the receiving end of it.
Patton blinked and tilted his head up just a bit so he could get a better look at his knight in shining armor. Thinking back on it, Roman was often there to help save Patton from Janus’s crueler comments or jokes. He encouraged Patton through each scene, eyes bright and eager when the camera wasn’t pointed at him. He looked a little tense and Patton wondered if he was angry with what Janus had implied or… or if he was embarrassed to be called out on his feelings.
His gaze returned to Janus and he blinked again. Sound started to filter back in. Janus sneered at him.
“Back with us, then?”
“Alright, folks!” Thomas' voice rang out then, commanding attention. “Let’s get started! If we finish early today, I’m treating y’all to ice cream!”
A chorus of cheers followed as everyone moved to get where they needed to be.
Patton slipped out from Roman’s grasp and gave him a grin that he hoped wasn’t as shaky as it felt. In theory, Roman liking him back should have been a good thing. So why was Patton feeling so icky all of a sudden? Was it because, if it were true, Roman hadn’t been the one to confess? It was hardly fair of Janus to go around sharing other people’s secrets.
“Places!”
Patton snapped out of his daze to find Roman standing in front of him. He looked concerned.
“Hey, deep breaths, okay?” He took an exaggerated one to make a point and Patton found himself mirroring it. The slow exhale lightened the weight on his shoulders.
Patton nodded and Roman smiled at him. It was that sincere, soft smile that made Patton melt and, gosh darn it, hadn’t he already done enough of that this morning?
They hurried to their spots. The script was playing through Patton’s head, his lines and then Roman’s following lines, and Patton’s reactions to each line. He focused on the scene and the reason his character was upset and how it’d feel if he were experiencing it personally. One take. They’d get this finished in one take and then Patton could have ice cream and go back to his hotel room and take a nice long nap.
It was easy to forget everything that had happened earlier once he was onstage. Patton had no trouble getting into his roles most of the time; it certainly helped having someone like Roman opposite him. Roman was the best actor he’d ever had the pleasure of working with: self-assured and reliable and knowledgeable. The confidence he exuded was often contagious. The lights came on and out of the corner of his eye, Patton saw the red light flashing on the cameras. Roman winked at him and Patton only resisted giggling like a lovestruck teenager because Thomas had just called “action!”
It went as effortlessly as it usually did. Roman recited his lines with nary a mistake. Patton worked off of him easily, responses slipping from his tongue before the worries or fears of messing up could even try to take hold. The cast and the set around them faded away until it was just Patton and Roman - Patton’s character and Roman’s character - and this moment and this scene and these feelings. He could feel the tears spilling over, his heart felt as if it were being squeezed in his chest, his throat closing up with choked back sobs. Roman’s expression only aided in Patton’s despair; he never wanted to see Roman this miserable ever again.
It felt like a dream, the way Roman’s hand came up and cradled his cheek so gently and carefully. He wiped away a few of Patton’s tears with his thumb. He wasn’t sure which of them leaned in first, just that his eyes slid closed before Roman’s lips met his. Strangely, Patton’s first thought wasn’t incoherent screaming. It was that Roman tasted of peppermint. Then it was who knew kissing distracted so well from crying? Finally, eventually, it was incoherent screaming.
“And cut!”
They didn’t leap away from each other as if electrocuted, though Patton’s surprise at the reminder that they weren’t alone did shock him. Instead, they separated slowly, Roman’s hand drifting from Patton’s face to his shoulder.
“You’re… you’re a really good kisser, Roman.”
It wasn’t until Roman’s face went bright, bright red that Patton realized what he’d said.
“That was great, guys!” Thomas exclaimed, slinging his arms around them both and shattering the fragile space between them. “We’ll look over it real quick for any glaring mistakes but I think it went perfectly! We can fix the little things in post. I think you both deserve a break.”
“Thanks,” Patton squeaked, shooting up from where he sat. “Bye!”
For the second time that day, Patton bolted away and to his dressing room.
The door had barely slammed shut behind him before Patton was diving for the countertop he’d left his phone on. He was calling his second emergency contact and throwing himself into the pile of beanbags, cushions, and pillows in one corner of the room, all in one breath.
“Hey, Pat,” answered the low, rumbling voice of his brother.
Even if Patton had wanted to coherently explain what was going on, he couldn’t have. The words came tumbling out of his mouth without any sense and he kept cycling back to “kiss” and “Roman.” It didn’t help that he was half-sobbing, half-laughing, and all-panicking. At some point, he thought Virgil might have covered up his end of the receiver and spoke to someone else, but Patton was too flustered to be sure.
“Okay, bud, let’s take a minute to breathe.”
And so Virgil counted his younger sibling through several deep breaths, inhaling four and holding four and exhaling four. Once Patton had calmed down, Virgil asked him to repeat what he’d tried to say earlier.
“Oh. Ohh, right, that scene was today.”
“Virgil,” Patton said very seriously, pacing the room back and forth. “I… I think he likes me back.”
“Nooo,” Virgil responded and Patton frowned at his tone. “Really?”
“Why’d you say it like that!”
“Dude… Roman’s crush on you is as obvious as your crush on him.”
“His what?!”
“I’m sorry to say that you got all the gay disaster genes.”
“Tell that to your unsigned Valentine’s Day confession card to Logan.”
“Hey! We agreed to never mention that again!”
There was muffled speaking on Virgil’s end of the call and Virgil snorted. “Oh, that’ll be fun,” Patton heard him say in response. Before he could ask what would be fun, there was a knock at his door.
“Patton?”
By absolute sheer willpower, Patton didn’t scream.
“Answer it before I die of tension,” Virgil deadpanned.
Would it really be so bad if he did? After everything that had happened today, it really did seem like Roman might truly like him back… Sure, Patton wanted to bury himself into a hole and never leave out of embarrassment because of what he’d said after the kiss, but… It wasn’t like they were finished filming. Patton was going to see Roman again, whether he liked it or not.
“I’m hanging up now, okay?”
“Okay,” Patton whimpered. He was frozen a few moments longer, the phone still pressed to his ear.
“I can come back later,” Roman said, voice muffled. “Or not at all, if you’d prefer that. I don’t want to make you uncomf—”
Moving faster than he thought he was physically capable, Patton dropped his cell, and lurched across the room. He yanked the door open to handsome Roman, nervous Roman, sheepish Roman, and acted before his brain could get any more conflicted at the sight of handsome nervous sheepish Roman. “Please don’t leave.”
Roman went from worrying nervously at his lower lip to a small hopeful smile. He looked… strangely vulnerable. Patton wanted to protect him from everything bad, just as Roman had supported and kept him safe in the past.
“Hi.”
“Uhm… hi,” Patton replied. After a moment’s hesitation, he stepped back and gestured for Roman to enter.
For the time they’d been working together, neither had been inside the other’s dressing room. Actually, Patton hadn’t gone by Roman’s at all; maybe his was the one with the star-sticker-decorated door. Roman caught sight of Patton’s Comfort Corner and sent him a curious glance.
“It’s better than a chair?” Patton answered with a half-shrug.
“It’s like The Sanders Couch,” Roman said agreeably.
“Did Thomas ever tell you the story behind it?”
“Which one?” Roman asked, laughing. “There’s so many. He has it sent with him to every filming location, you know. Apparently, it’s magic.”
Patton’s apprehension was falling away slowly but surely and he thought it amazing how even being near Roman had that effect on him.
“May I?”
Patton blinked, confused. Roman gestured to the corner.
“Oh! Yeah! Yes, of course.” Patton hurriedly responded, stumbling a little over his words.
“May…” Roman rubbed the back of his neck and Patton didn’t understand what he could possibly have to be bashful about before remembering oh, right, he likes me back. “May we?”
It felt like Patton’s whole body was submerged in scalding hot water. “O— okay,” he squeaked. Before he could melt on the spot like his jelly-wobbly legs wanted him to, Patton joined Roman in settling cozily amongst the beanbags, cushions, and pillows.
It was like second nature to them. Without even meaning to, Patton gravitated towards Roman, curling against his side as if it was right where he belonged. Roman’s hand was carding through Patton’s hair before they’d even fully got their legs positioned just right. In the time that Patton had made this dressing room his own, he’d added frequently to this pile, and he knew for a fact that there was room enough for two people to lounge on it without having to sit too close. As if he weren’t already in a tizzy, realizing how easy it was for him and Roman to be like this… Well, it was a miracle he hadn’t fainted already.
“So…” Roman began at the same moment Patton exclaimed, “I’m sorry!”
Naturally, Roman looked bewildered.
“I should have told you sooner,” Patton barreled on. He pointedly avoided looking up, instead keeping his gaze trained on his hands folded in his lap. “I was just… scared, I guess? Mostly of rejection… uhm, duh… But also of ruining this movie for you? I didn’t want to make filming difficult for… well, for anyone! And I didn’t want to risk doing that just because of my silly feelings.”
“Silly?” Roman echoed.
“And I know it’s not something I need to apologize for,” Patton continued in a rush, “but I’m still so sorry that Janus said what he said. A… about me being the, uh… your… Well, you know. He didn’t have any right doing that.”
Roman laughed, sounding a little incredulous. Patton wasn’t sure what part Roman had trouble believing. It was true, after all! The very idea of someone spilling Patton’s crush without his say-so was absolutely horrifying.
“If I’m being completely honest?” Roman began, shifting just enough that he could cradle Patton’s cheek in his hand and tilt his face up. “I don’t think I’d have had the courage to do it myself, anyway.”
He… He was being genuine, Patton realized with a start.
“You’re the most courageous person I know!” Patton argued.
“I am also terrified of rejection,” Roman amended.
“Now hold on, if I’m scared of rejection and you’re scared of rejection, then who’s flying the plane?”
Roman laughed so hard, Patton was jostled by it in his embrace. It was a sensation he wouldn’t mind getting used to.
“Regrettably, I think that Janus is our pilot.”
Patton pouted. “Don’t like that.”
“We might owe him a thank you.”
“Don’t like that!” Patton repeated.
“Well, how about something that you do like?” Roman suggested, still holding him so carefully, still looking at him with such a sincere and soft smile. Still, there was just a hint of trepidation in his tone, the tiniest bit of unease in his eyes.
Patton realized awfully late that neither of them had actually, completely declared their feelings yet. He sat up in a hurry, placing a hand on Roman’s chest, and taking a deep breath. He thought it might give him at least a moment to sort his thoughts so that he could give Roman the confession he deserved. He thought wrong.
“You!” he practically shouted. “I like you! So much! It’s ridiculous! It’s exhilarating and scary and wonderful and well, I mean—” He stuttered to a halt, dissolving momentarily into breathless giggles. “You’re so considerate, do you know that? You care so much and you have so many little ways of showing it! And oh my god, you’re the best coworker I’ve ever had. You’re so full of passion and dedication, it’s an absolute joy to act alongside you and, and—” Again, Patton paused, but this time it was thanks to Roman’s slack-jawed awe. Raising both arms, Patton took Roman’s face in his hands and squished his cheeks a little. “And don’t even get me started on how handsome you are.”
In the time he’d known Roman, Patton had never seen him speechless. Patton was worried that he’d broken him. The seconds ticked by until, eventually, Roman made a sound akin to a tea kettle whistling. He slowly leaned in and down until Patton had to let go, instead opting to wrap his arms around Roman’s neck. With his face hidden now in Patton’s shoulder, it became clear how hard Roman was shaking.
“Was that too much?” Patton asked quietly.
Roman mumbled something but Patton couldn’t have understood it if he tried. Maybe he just needed a few minutes to collect himself. After some time, Roman did emerge, looking a bit more calm. Patton hardly had time to worry what this meant for him before Roman pulled Patton’s hands loose from where they’d been curled in the hair at the nape of his neck and held them gently in his own.
“I like you,” he started, oh-so-seriously. “I think I like you more than I like theatre?”
Patton gasped.
“Hush,” Roman teased, stifling a laugh. “I wake up some mornings and make it out of bed just because I know I’ll see you. It’s so easy to exist around you. I’ve never felt judged or hurt by you; you’re exceedingly kind and thoughtful. I cherish all of our moments, whether candid or staged. You’ve brought stability to my life in a way I never expected and I can’t tell you how important that is to me. Your grumpy pre-caffeine face cheers me up more than the sun in the sky does!”
“You hush,” Patton muttered, only able to fake offense for a few seconds.
“When Thomas takes us all out for ice cream, could we share a sundae?” Roman requested and he almost sounded shy about it. It made Patton’s heart flutter.
“There’s no one else I would want to banana split with,” Patton quipped.
Roman dropped Patton’s hands and groaned, planting his face into his palms. The last of the tension in the air vanished and Patton finally felt like he could breathe a little easier. He leaned back a little, trying to keep it together.
“Aw, come on, that was really just the cherry on top!”
Roman’s response might have been muffled but that didn’t hide the sound of his grin.
Patton shimmied and wiggled his way out of the Comfort Corner until he was back on his feet. “I hope you aren’t considering Taking Back Sun-dae,” Patton said, putting on his best pout.
“Oh my god,” Roman managed before he broke and fell into a fit of laughter.
Patton gave in too, though he was slightly distracted by the sight of Roman so carefree and happy. That was another thing he’d have to get used to, he supposed… Not that he minded. In fact, Patton decided as Roman eventually got up and pulled him into a tight, warm hug, he was really looking forward to it.
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