#missing people never gets easier | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sentfromwolves · 3 months ago

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something I’ve been struggling to accept lately.

#my art #vent art #just wanted to get it out in some way #therapy only does so much #healing is non linear #missing people never gets easier #and it’s hard to feel that way and still be angry and hurt at the same time #it’s been almost a year since things fell apart #telling myself it’s ok to be sad and to miss people regardless of whatever else I will never get closure on #has to be ok #you know #anyways #vent #art #personal

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dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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Do you have anything you've been thinking on but just haven't made a post about it yet? Also I'm really enjoying your fic!

I have a few things but it's likely mostly headcanons that I consider somewhat disconnected from my analysis.

Curly's parents had him old, only child, died shortly after he graduated and got the pony express position. It was the last big thing they saw him do which is a reason he stayed for so long.

Doesn't admit how much their death affected him

Jimmy has a largish family. One of the cases of too many kids to keep tract of, parent never really noticed any of them nor their behaviors

Anya lived in a lot of houses growing up, regular supportive family that just struggled to support themselves.

Became a nurse largely to avoid their financial struggles but mostly because she felt too many people weren't being cared for and advocated for in the world properly

Swansea likes high top sneakers most. Likes how snug they fit and how they shield his ankles at work

Curly has a bit of a caffeine problem since he can’t sleep. Can occasionally be found wandering the ship at “night” when he had some too late or just couldn’t sleep.

Daisuke knows a little about a lot of things. Starts conversations with “did you know” a lot but please don’t ask him deeper questions

Curly has known Jimmy longer but has worked with Anya and Swansea longer, met them during his middle years, met Jimmy shortly before college.

Swansea rents a house, Daisuke’s family lives in a big nice apartment, Curly has a condo, Anya live in a small one bedroom apartment and Jimmy has a studio.

Curly's home is very disconcerting. It's too normal to a like uncanny degree.

Anya is ambidextrous but prefers her left.

Anya and Curly are both not native English speakers so occasionally they forget words and bond over the mutual mocking they get from the rest of the crew. Daisuke knows some Japanese but is still learning, never picked it up as a kid

Only Swansea and Daisuke know how to drive, Earth in my mind is very post capitalist so only older people and like the extremely wealthy can afford cars.

It's also like walkable just due to how many businesses are in your face. Probably strict living vs shopping districts

I have more but the way that I headcanon about them is like too long.

#im still trying to figure out voiceclaims like I think Curly is the most generic lost his accent his accent like swedish or eastern european #guy cause he was raised by old immigrants and anya never had a thick accent but she talks with the cadence of one shes like slavic and east #asian to me. Swansea at most is like irish or italian but just an old white guy and Jimmy just has a bit of olivish skin like hes just whit #i think people should make them all weirder too like I think Anya loves showing the fucked up diagrams and pictures from premed and everyon #has to nod and act super supportive and not horrified cause Anya thats a guy with his leg broken in seven places it is not facinating to th #rest of the crew but she loves it cause fyi to go to med school you have to pass pre-med she has a BA if not a BS in nursing or bio atleast #Swansea randomly talks about shoe politics and its like hes talking about regular politics. Curly doesn't sleep walk but he pauses at weird #times or places and will just stand leave and not tell anyone anything cause even he forgot #Jimmy is himself ig and Daisuke always has some media drama they are too old for to get invested in and teach them about youth slang Anya #kinda gets it #also i think people make Curly and Jimmy way too old? Like In my mind Curly is sorta his late 20s- early 30s like he's in the settling #part of his life hence the fear about settling here anya is likel mid 20s to 30 cause she at least finished college we dont have the years #of how long shes been working and maybe Jimmy is just a bit older and feels weird envy about missing that introspection Curly is having.#Daisuke is like 19-22 in my mind like hes an adult but a kid by their standards #like Curly was recruited and its much easier to get younger people plus getting someone young is a good investment like they either got him #right after school and its like all he's known and it scares him #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #ask #anon

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wtfforged · 5 months ago

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moronsexual

#i missed themmm. artfight esp made me miss them bc so many super talented people drew them. it made me so emo...#drawing size difference will never get easier. its the hardest thing to draw on earth. it never looks right. give up.#click or die btw #wtf... art #oc #mateo #benji #robot

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melit0n · 22 days ago

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Give me five whole minutes.

Credits: Me

#I sobbed like a baby during Missing Limbs but I didn't expect the end of Euclid to catch me so bad #but hearing that line. hearing that *song* that has constantly ran rampant in my mind. That I've held so close to my chest? Amazing #absolutely fucking amazing #let alone getting to sing it along with 20k other people #the Espera sounded gorgeous Vessel sounded gorgeous and ii iii and IV played wonderfully well #(about to be a bit vunerable so bear with me)#I said in one of my other posts that 'I think my soul came out of my body for a bit' and I mean that whole heartedly. because this is where #call it an extreme reaction but I felt all my blood go out of my fingers and just this. humungous weight peeling itself off of my shoulders #I jokingly call myself a cockroach a lot because I tend to have bitterly bad luck and just try my best to get back up after it and this jus #I'm describing as I go and it's the hardest thing to illustrate #I felt welcomed. like the warm feeling when you come home and the heatings on in Winter #never will I ever fully be able to execute the thanks I have for what this band has done for me #for what you guys in this community have done for me #this felt like a peak and I think I'll forever being going upwards from here. this and you guys have made the climb so much easier #perhaps the appropriate time to simply say 'worship'#mel's rambles #mel's photos #sleep token #st #teeth of god tour #tog tour #vessel #vessel sleep token #euclid #song euclid #tmbte #sleep token tmbte #take me back to eden #+ again. kindly ignore me crying and singing

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starflungwaddledee · 10 months ago

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i just want to make a tiny mention of this, but i've noticed lately that even excluding asks i'm starting to struggle to stay on top of responding to everything. i'm not sure if there's been an uptick in interactions (i think so), or if it's just that my cfs is kicking my ass more (it's also this)

and i'm so so grateful and i read and love every comment and engagement, but i can't always think of things to say in response! i also get very nervous if i leave something a few days without responding because i then feel kind of embarrassed to respond to it so late 😭💦

i'll still continue to do my best to get back to everyone where i can, but if i don't respond it's nothing personal! i'm just a little swamped haha 😅

#if you've tagged me in something (especially gift art) and i haven't gotten back to it please just send me an ask with a link!#i would never purposely ignore something! if i've missed it it's an accident!!#i have a bit of a hard time sorting the notifications on tumblr and wish it were a bit easier to navigate the tabs. maybe i'm just old #anyway. this is obviously a flattering problem to have and it's probably nothing but.. i get anxious about this sort of thing #i want to do my best!! people take the time to reach out and it means a lot; thank you!#starflungs personal tag #delete later

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purplesaline · 1 year ago

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I don't think grief ever lessens or gets easier to bear any more than a 50lb weight gets lighter or easier to carry.

What changes is our capacity to carry the weight.

When people say, about tried, "It will get easier with time" it doesn't mean you'll miss the person/thing any less deeply. It means that by carrying the grief day by day your capacity to carry it will grow and it will feel easier because you've become stronger.

The grief never changes,

We do.

#grief #i honestly find this more comforting #i never liked the idea that I'd miss someone less over time #that's true for some people in my life #but only because I recognized i hadn't felt what I thought I'd been feeling at the time #my understanding of the relationship changed #but unconditional love #when we lose that?#i don't think it ever gets easier #and that makes me happy because if it ever got easier it would feel to me like they meant less #that I was outgrowing them #I never want to miss them less #but the idea that I'll be better able to cope with missing them that much?#that's an idea I can get behind #that makes it easier to move forward without worrying I'm leaving their memory behind

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crownrots · 8 months ago

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#oc txt.#c: hattie #c: mary ellen #hattie being able to make it back to her own vault just in time to be with her mom in her final moments is 🤕#she’s not the overconfident self assured put together person she was when she left however long ago it was #and her mother isn’t the hyper independent stoic emotionally constipated woman that didn’t even hug her before she left #her mother really did believe that this colony that had supposedly been growing since she was a girl WAS her kids’ only hope at a future #they knew for years that the vault was running out of supplies and falling apart #she was getting older and really didn’t think a future above ground was for her or her husband or the other adults that had grown up there #it was for their kids.#bc the vault wasn’t going to be able to sustain them for much longer #it’s why she pushed her kids so hard and pushed them away even harder #bc it made sending them into that world ‘easier’#she wouldn’t miss them as much and they wouldn’t miss her #sending her twins up there (her first borns) years prior was HELL #and she dreaded the day hattie was old enough to be thrust out there and even debated whether or not she’d even go through with it #so seeing her now … especially in the state hattie is in when she returns #she feels guilty but at the same time proud? because despite it she knows hattie had and HAS what it takes to survive up there #and seeing tj??? she doesn’t know if the twins made it to the colony or whether the colony was even real operating ect ect #so she’d never get to see them with her grandkids if they had any #she at least gets a slice of what could have been if things were different #it’s good that hattie gets to tell her truth of everything #it’s good that hattie gets to reconcile and be the last thing she sees before she passes #it’s all mary ellen ever wanted … to see her girls again #and in her mind if hattie made it … then she knows the other two did too #and i think for hattie she was just on the cusp of giving up and throwing in the towel #but she’s got people relying on her and she’s not a quitter … was never allowed to be #and i think by now she’d be searching for them less for herself and more for her parents #the least she can do is find out if their sacrifices (and the sacrifices of everyone else) were warranted

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appalamutte · 21 days ago

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spending this sunday morning pondering how the long and convoluted network of decisions we make everyday leads us to the people and places we love now

#i love the people i’m surrounded by. i’ve never been happier and more myself before #but also #i was fully going to move out of this area when i graduated college last year #but i didn’t #well….haven’t yet is the better wording #i can’t see myself living in this town for forever #but if i did - where would i be now? who would i be??#would i like them? the people i’d have met and people i’d have gotten close to and the person i would’ve been?#would i be in some big faraway city with a cramped apartment or in some seaside town living above an ice cream parlour on main street?#would i still talk to my mom everyday? my best friends who i grew up with?#would i have missed what i have now? or would i have been happier??#it’s not exactly healthy to think about these things so much #but every once in a while is okay #and i think facing them with this easy gaze of sleep-riddled sunlight breaking through half-parted curtains makes it easier to understand #i also think i’ve sat here for too long now. i should shower and get ready for the day #sky says

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sciderman · 1 year ago

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i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone

damn son save some for the rest of us!!

#sci speaks #i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.

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blujayonthewing · 3 months ago

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at the oral surgeon and barely spent any time in the waiting room, where I could have been fooling around in my sketchbook and Vibing. I have, however, spent a LOT of time sitting here waiting in the exam room after watching their friendly informed consent video about how all procedures involving sedation include a risk of death

#cool vibe thanks #I could see my lovely little car from the waiting room I could have been sketching...#okay well he came in while I was writing tags and suggests it sounds like local anesthetic and novacaine might be better for me anyway #but also I can Think About It and let them know ahead of my actual appointment #which is nice #THE THING IS I'M NOT SURE LMAO.#I am very afraid of general anesthetic tbqh but I also don't wanna be Miss Big Balls and do it awake and be Wrong about being fine :'D #getting a filling has so far been Fine though....#doc: it's easier for me if you're awake? but we recommend anaesthesia for very bad anxiety-- I'll be drilling I may have to cut the bone etc #me: I mean the Drilling Sounds have never been my problem but I've never had a man digging chunks of tooth out of the depths of my flesh SO-#I'm gonna consult with my team (people who have had theirs out already) and see what we think I guess #my mom said hers went great and she went to work the next day and had no issues and I BET she stayed awake. similar types of anxiety I think #meanwhile justin severely oversold how horrible the anaesthetic shots are for fillings so I'll take his counsel with a grain of salt #about me

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guinevereslancelot · 9 months ago

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why are old people so sad lol

#i posted a flag redesign for fun and boomers are crying abt it #its not real first of all lol #and it looks cool the old flag is boring #plus ita barely a deviation? i kept the seal just changed the background to not solid blue and made the seal monochrome #so its easier to see?#i put a beloved state landmark in the background in a neutral color scheme #its simple but its a def improvement #but boomers are soooo mad like: stop changing everything 😭#lol #the og flag is one of those seal on a blanket ones and it sucks lol #but i respected the history but keeping the seal?#anyway i just posted it for fun bc i found out i missed an opportunity to redesign it a few months ago #and i thought people would enjoy the hypothetical cool flag #but old people are boohooing in the comments 😐#why do they hate fun or even the idea of fun #they tremble w rage at the mere suggestion of fun lol #anyway i showed my dad and he thought it was cool #and apparently he actually knows somebody who knows somebody who is a state senator??? news to me???#but he's gonna get them to pass it along 😏#the boomer tears if this even becomes a legitimate possibility will be so beautiful lmaooo #im sure it wont amount to anything but idk you never know #anyway old people who cry and scream at the idea of any chage at all...why....this isnt even a political change its just a fun change.......#ita completely nuetral politically #i literally thought the boomers would love it bc its got that landmark on it and they're all obsessed w it #alas #this happens been a shitpost

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knightelf · 1 month ago

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had a very bizarre interaction today why are people so fucking weird. Lady who apparently used to work here was acting so offended that I asked to see her status card bc i literally have to do that when the account says theyre tax exempt. Which she should know because she used to work here. Like that is retail standard nationwide. Anyway shes like "well it says that because i used to work here (thats Not why it says that lol) so why do you have to ask over and over and over??" and gives me the most indredulous judgy look, so I explain that I just need to confirm by seeing it because just getting the popup isn't necessarily proof?? (not that I even care but thats literally the law for Every retail establishment in Canada??) and she makes another bitchy face and just walks away without saying thank you or bye so neither did I lol

so fucking stupid. bitches be miserable

#like its so much easier here than it was at dollarama #at dollarama sometimes people would get annoyed but I got why because the POS was SO dumb and it made me put in their status number!#which would time out if i didnt do it fast enough so if it were THAT i could at least be like ok i get it #but miss ma'am i have literally never even seen you before so a) how the fuck would i know you used to work here #b) that wouldnt mayter anyway because being an employee doesnt fucking give you a status card #and c) HOW do you not know any of that. both because you WERE an employee AND i cannot fathom in ur 60 years alive #you have never before used your status card at a retail establishment. you dumb fuck. you absolute baffoon #anyway. i fucking hate this job so much its making me go CRAZY

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melto · 10 months ago

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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.