#missed the feeling of this place fr
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
#hunter x hunter alluka#tried drawing her digital#i thought this one turned out ok so im not too ashamed to post it#but it took wayyy longer than meant to when drawing this#i was coloring skin for the first time in a while#and i completely forgot how to#so it took about 5 hours to relearn#on another note#i watched dune part 2 in theaters today!#i recommend watching it#since it feels like a continuation of the story than a sequel#or a second movie.#on a third note#ill try to post more often on here#school has just been kicking my flat butt#and it makes me cry#havent been keeping up with whats going on here#so ill try to be on here more frequently#missed the feeling of this place fr#hxh#hunter x hunter fanart#alluka#alluka zoldyck#oh right i should probably draw nanika soon right#aged up#trying to learn how to her at her canon age#but for now here's her aged up#also dont mind the shoes#i gave up on them after the sketch#gartilexxy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A redraw of an old thing because exam season is the only time i get creative energy ig
#but no fr i just came home from 2 consecutive exams. like consecutive as in one after the other in 2 hours#next week is all finals and theyre all like 2 hours 1 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon like bro#whatevs tho medical update THE MEDS ARE WORKING alhamdulilallah i feel im getting way more energy :)#2 years on immunosuppressants and at least 3 months of corticosteroids which means no salt :( BUT we are getting thru it#im cooking again :')#ok enough my life is not what you're here for. idk if cbeeduo at the end of 2023 *is* but idc#i just rly missed them yk and the vibes and the place i was in plus i have fun drawing them so suck it#i hope my good cbee mutuals enjoy this love yall#my art#dsmp fanart#cranboo#ctubbo#cbeeduo#fashion notes for the cool peeps still reading is i am dying on the hill that cranboo was decked in a 70s aunt wardrobe argue with the wall#also tubbo cowboy cus. like. look at him.#will probably draw tommy next i rly miss him. nothing big as always im a doodle kinda guy at heart#anyway xoxo love yall still here <33#fennec.art
423 notes
·
View notes
Text
depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
{ a n g e l i c }
#been rlly into old internet vibes lately#i miss the feeling i used to get going on forums and all that#the Internet used to b a safe place but im not rlly feeling that anymore u_u#take me back to old DeviantArt and oekaki forums fr#iggy art#procreate#illustration#artists on tumblr#queer artist#furry art#tenshi kaiwai#webcore#old web#sparkle dog#ms paint#retro futurism#cyber#cybercore#puppy#angelcore#blue aesthetic
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are you going to the show tonight?
No, I cut my bangs too short yesterday, he definitely can't see me for another few weeks. 🥸
Jk jk (well not about the bangs unfortunately, I look very 3rd grade picture day rn) - because of my health issues and other assorted logistical realities in my life, spontaneous nights out are a luxury I very rarely can afford, both literally and figuratively.
It sucks not being able to take advantage of living where I do but I'm very grateful that more often than not, there are attendees that are kind enough to share their content so we can all enjoy it! 🥰🫶🏻
#i almost just answered with my bangs joke but I'm feeling earnest today 😌#and i am quite sad to miss this tbh#hotel cafe is a dream place to watch a set#but even without getting into the minutiae of what i have to consider when making plans these days#just the cost of an Uber alone (I'm less than 30min away but it'd be at least $100 to get me there and back) is prohibitive so 🤷🏻♀️#it is what it is and again I'm v grateful for those who share their experience with us! 💙#ask#anon#and fr my bangs are atrocious rn tho 😂
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love latinas and black women so fucking much
im afrolatina don't be weird about this
#thinking about this one girl who used to have such a big crush on me 🙈 i hope she's going good these days she was so cute ♡#MANY SUCH CASES#i miss living in a predominantly latine community sometimes 🥲💕#it's been really nice living in a predominantly black one though 🥺 I've never gotten to live around sm other black folk before#second picture is actually me fr#there's sm poc around this part of town in general#i can't believe i actually told one of the budtenders she had my heart going crazy 🙈 she was such a sweetie#what is it about budtenders.. there is a pattern of being v sweet to/on budtenders 🙈 with permission/enthusiasm ofc#part of me thinks they just purposefully hire hot cool friendly people. i only have budtenders I'm sweet to here but no one I'm sweet on#YET!!!!!! I will find my dispensary bae to replace the one from my old city. who's hands do i hold and kiss‚ who do i hold and sweettalk#hello it is so nice to see you again#ANYWAYS!!!!!#there's a lot of beautiful people out there.. u can just talk to them.. most ppl r happy to talk if u have something to say#what a beautiful world. I'm gonna get out of my multi hour hot bath now i wanna go talk to somebody ♡ and maybe make#me n my friends collars when i get back. I'm making us a matching pair ^.^ ♡ he'd look so good in it.#i need to see him in the chain/collar/black sleeveless top trifecta 👁️👁️ my little masc dress up doll ♡#i love butches.. i love sm people 🥲💕#I'm all over the place. i feel like those gifs of a tesseract rotating thru everything at all times#a girl who oscillates between all her options‚ if u will..#...... soooooo painful to get out of such a beautiful hot bath. oooooooh 🥲🥲🥲💔#k bye
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know who needs to hear this but the Black Parade isn't even a tad bit overrated
#it's one of the best rock concept albums of all time let alone the 2000s#if that decade weren't so recent it'd be easier for ppl to see that#in fact since it's been getting further away in time more people do#but its acclaim is not just nostalgia for a second#if you were unfortunate enough to miss having an mcr phase as a teenager#i need you to do me a favor and go listen to that whole album. or do it again if it's been awhile#you will FEEL FEELINGS again#text post#mcr#also i will just never get over gerard way#he's just too much to be believed#if he were to have existed in a time before technology. what an injustice that'd be#not to be able to go and relive his performances of songs like wttbp and helena etc#locked in place in time forever. immortal and always compelling#gerard way is not something to describe but something to experience#makes me wonder when ppl describe famous actors and musicians from before the recording era#(well i always wonder about that) but if gerard way were sarah siddons#it would be a shame i wouldn't be able to enjoy gerard way at any moment in my life#if gerard way were fleeting... momentary... that would suck. suck so much#if these tags sound funny to you im just gonna let u know im being 100 percent fr rn
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
ppl in the house and I’m too intimidated to walk to my room so I’m throwing Jeremiah excerpts like bread ends to ducks:
It’s October in 2005 which means it’s cold in Maryland and still warm in Las Vegas. Jeremiah’s been watching the weather channel more frequently lately as a form of pure entertainment which seems like a strange thing to do, probably because it is but also more likely because the weatherman’s got a Colgate smile and hair like Keanu Reeves’ in My Own Private Idaho. He’s named after a flower or something of the like—Prim, Basil, Aster, Sage. Really, Jeremiah should know because he’s invested enough to know the man has a subtle lisp and a birthmark above his right eyebrow, but maybe the problem is that he’s paying too much attention to the man’s subtle lisp and birthmark. Still, he finds himself thinking of the man when he sits on the balcony with a mug of Ovaltine, the weather channel muffled through the closed door. When did he decide to become a weatherman? And is the job rewarding?
Sometimes the reality that he’s dreaming about a weatherman who doesn’t know he exists hits him so hard he goes back inside and turns the TV off right away
#the more I write with Jeremiah the more I’m like was he autistic this whole time#anyway I’m losing it over my own private Idaho and I wrote this reference in RIGHT before I watched the movie last night#so reading this again is like twirling my hair and kicking my legs and giggling#also jeremiah creating a daydream romance with keanu reeves the weatherman makes me want to marry him right away#HARRISON THREW THIS AWAY?????? for LONAN??? I’m sorry but have you SEEN jeremiah#also the temp descriptions for Oct are kind of broad and might not be the most accurate but IN GENERAL#& also I love that comparison#the theme of going to a warm place you know as home that doesn’t feel quite like home anymore to a cooler place that was once your home#that feels warmer because the ppl there actually care about you#anyway love letter to Maryland story fr I miss it sm#changingstates
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
love how i keep getting consumed by soul crushing homesickness only to be reminded that theres nothing there for me anymore anyway
#and idk why im feeling this why now cause technically i have lived here two years now (i dont count it cause it was school years where i#went back for summers/ breaks and also i was so depressed i didnt actually live life independently)#but now that i AM. i miss home so so much and i wish i could be there instead but theres no way for me to have my career there and my family#is falling apart and i lost all my friends except the new community i happened to find over the summers but theyre all spread across the cou#ntry too and im just missing it.#doesnt help that i may be losing my best friend here cause they might be going to my hometown for a job lmao we just switched places fr#im so scared im gonna be horribly depressed again and its either gonna fuck up my career or my last friendship here (with my roommate)#and its so much more#im trying so hard to keep hoing in an industry thats hostile towards me but i have nothing to fall back on when its too much#i just wanna be on the land again 😭😭😭😭😭#i have no rights here i dont know many people etc
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I miss jenna marbles so much 😭
#I miss my comfort youtubers … you all have such a special place in my heart#literally I could come home one day as a teenager in high school and indulge in youtube bc that’s my only form of escapism#rn I feel so empty. I would watch Abbott and then have to wait an entire week for a new ep#first day of placement was so tiring and reminded me so much of my old workplace and my old workplace traumatized me fr 😭#the routine is so difficult to figure out and even uni’s support on it is so ass like wtf are you all doing 😭#called my uni friend after and I’m so grateful for her she keeps me sane 😭#idk everything seems so bleak now
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just watched this week's JJK & TGCF eps- I feel wondrous again and I'm gonna be okay 🥹🧡
#ooooghhghhhh jjk was so gooodddd#it was just 24 mins of throwing hands like that's the sorcery fight i signed up for!!!#and it was creepy in just the right places like sukuna's disdain & choso's memory attack??! sooo gooodd#but then miminana showed up and i ☹️#and tgcf??? ohhhhh i feel like I'm gonna cry#I've missed them so bad like when xl started bonding w sqx i felt like my family came back fr#and everything is so beautiful this season like fuck it UP haoliners 🤸🏿♀️🤸🏿♀️🤸🏿♀️#i will say i was staring hard at jw during his father-son catch up w xl like he really got the nerve 😠#but like I'm so happy. all the lil details- backgrounds character designs sound design#and jl intro! tho she's already making me sad again 😔 love that woman#anyway I'm really happy again i forgot that my hobbies keep me going#i have to finish this work for midterms this weekend but I'm gonna take breaks like i used to. i think that's what it is#blah. anyways#I'm gonna sleep now probably#ki log#jjk lb#tgcf lb#tgcf
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i worked onmy ermmm. little good habits reward sheet a lot .. im pretty excited :] i was gonna wait to start it until ive moved home bc a lot of the things r home specific (like spending time with loved ones etc) BUT i think im gonna go ahead n start it tmrw... i think itll be good to go ahead n get started on it b4 i move back that way its not such a big transition bc i think thats why my like. plans t get better when i moved up here. failed. so horrifically lol. bc i didnt give myseld any lead in i just made a huge change and then got upset when i didnt immediately adjust.
#i do eventually wanna move back to wa on my own bc i feel like. i didnt rly get to spend time here due to the everything. i just dont think#i was at all ready. and thats entirely on me i chose this i ignored literally everybody around me telling me it wasnt a good idea#i brought this all on myself. but i wanna try n improve#n im excitedd!! i think next year/whenever im Fr ready. im gonna try n move out to my old hometown#since my family moved away from it#which i think will be rly nice bc ill like. be independeny but in a familiar place and like. still close to home. ill still be able t have#the same insurance etc etc..#itll get rid of a Lot of stressors basically. and ill be able to visit family way easier !!#plus my hometown is way more walkable and since. idk if ill ever be able t drive just bc of like. my general nature#thats something im rly rly looking for...#i think my new goalsheet is rly well balanced as well. its likee#its based on thise little metallic walmart star stickers bc i miss those rly bad#thats the entire inspo. obv rn itll have to be digital bc i cant get my little star stickers#but. its like a points system#red is 5 points yellow is 3 points green is 2 points and blue is 1 point#(might move them around to make green 5 points bc green was my star color when i was little lol)#and each point is worth .50 cents. and so however many points i have at the end of the week thats how much money i get t have in my like#personal acct. and i get to use that however i want#and everything else will go to likee. savings and bills (i wont have bills for a while but yk)#and i even have likee. a streak system#i need to work on that sl its like balanced. bc idk if it is rn#my idea was t just have it be like. bc th way it is like#the tasks r split up by difficulty. more difficult tasks earn different colors#so my most difficult on there rn is to go for a walk#/ go to a public place / spend time outside#rly that goal is rly geared toward my hometown but im still gonna try n do it in my parents town... yk :] like i can ask my mom t take me#to th library and stuff. bc i wanna start going more#we went to th one here a couple times but it kinda got. shelved. yk. and i miss it#the one in ny hometown was rightt by our house and i never went#and im mad abt kt.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Tryna take pictures again
#This just feels like the best place to post fr#I both want & loathe attention...#Am I the contradiction?#...I really think I'm just missing love#Ow#Plus this world of numbers won't let me rest#my mind don't wanna let the worst shit go i swear
1 note
·
View note
Text
hello, i made a deal with god and so i watched one (1) episode of shameless today after my 2 month long ban from the shameless factory. here are my thoughts on 10x8
first things first, i fucking called it i called a mickey ian marriage for spousal privelege from testifying against each other like 4 fucking seasons ago, yes it was for a different thing but i called it none the less
i feel bad for mickey bc he has problems with not feeling like anyone loves him (fuck u terry!!!) and ian hesitating to sign the marriage license after realizing they didn't need to to stay out of prison must've been just like hell for him i'm so sorry
i also totally understand why ian's hesitant about marriage!! his parents are........you know. his sister got married once after knowing a guy for like 4 hours, had a messy divorce, got engaged to another guy at the divorce lawyer meeting, then the wedding got called off moments before the alter bc her fiancee had been using meth again for months without telling her. like, that's not a great endorsement for marriage. it's a big deal i get it, but maybe step outside the marriage license office to have this conversation lol
although i'm not surprised mickey punched ian about maybe not wanting to marry him for all of the above reasons, you can't be punching him mickey!! when yall were teenagers and just fought everyone it was like, yeah okay, they're dumb teenagers who just fight everyone, but you're adults now! use your words mickey! if you want to wife him up you can't be punching him jesus christ
i also thought this was a pretty good lip episode. he's kind of wanted to be a dad for a long time and i think he's pretty good at it, helping taking care of 4 younger siblings really helped you out man
debbie getting sugar momma slay
the face young frank made at the guy whose life he ruined was really funny ngl i laughed out loud
liam is on levels of grift that high school lip could only dream about good for u bud
carl is a sicko. we all know this. also him trying to do the same grift that ian did to get into the army but rolling a nat 1 was great the parallels
also i love kev and v. i have nothing of significance to say about their storyline this ep, but just know that i do in fact love them.
also i miss the other milkovich brothers, idk who all these other milkoviches are also fuck u terry
#okay i think that's all i have to say#watching 1 ep did not banish my curse but i do feel a lot more at peace#i think just actually seeing it instead of just replaying it in my mind might help#also i think maybe finishing the series might make me a little more normal about it just bc i know everything there is to know#but i also don't want it to be over lol#between a rock and hard place fr#for anyone who's made it this far the deal i made with the devil was that i am allowed to watch 1 episode tops per day until i finish#the season that i'm in the middle of bc there's only 5 eps left (4 now)#maybe i'll try to watch the last season over winter break??#i genuinely don't know what i'll do when i finish it i'm gonna miss it so bad#omg all these fucking tags i am insane#i just hate endings okay!!!#okay i'm stopping myself goodbye#shameless#me.txt
0 notes
Text
.
#look away everyone this is gonna be embarrassing#nothing new really same old shit that's been going on every day for almost 20 years with me but uhh#at this point i dont even wish i were fucking skinny (<-lying). id give anything to just go back to my lowest ed weight#which was by no means skinny. not even thin. but it was thinnER than now.#anyway. nothing makes you hate your own body quite like trying to buy clothes lol#being a huge hypocrite rn cause yes yes fuck fast fashion we know#but being able to go shopping for clothes with your friends to a mainstream brand shop and only feeling *a little* inferior in all aspects#but not ENTIRELY worthless as a woman and a human being in general. my god. it only happened once in my entire life#and i had so much fun that day. and i felt so good and happy and even a little attractive. we love internalised mysogyny <333#but i miss experiencing the first stirrings of this stupid ass shy little hope that i could actually be considered hot and pretty#for the first time in my fucking life. like hot and pretty RIGHT NOW. not in some undefined future of ✨...if you lost some weight✨#idk it just feels like it was all for nothing. i ruined every part of my life i fucked up my teeth and my skin and my hair and my metabolism#and my relationship with food. forever lol and it was for nothing because at the end of the day im basically back to the weight i started w/#its a goddamn joke. like yeah maybe im not losing fistfuls of hair on a daily basis anymore but id honestly rather just go fully bald#if i was allowed to keep the weight off#god i only hope i die in a way that will completely obliterate my body. it is kind of a comfort#no matter what - at least ill always have the train tracks i used to play on as a kid <33 one of my most beloved places in the world fr
1 note
·
View note