We went in search of the moon / and you said when we caught it that / we would cut it up in two / and we would wear the halves on necklaces / and then I could control tides with you 🌙
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ever think about twelve being so sick of losing people, especially losing people because of their belief in him as a hero, like amy. so he strips off that mask and shows how cold and calculating he is willing to be with lives and he chooses a face that shows his age and stops hiding his danger behind a charming smile or a bow tie. he does it as a kindness, so Clara knows what she's getting into. and she does. and she gets into it anyway. and it makes him even more desperate not to lose her. so he breaks all of his own rules, everything he stood for because just once he didn't want to have to lose someone. he went to the end of space and time the long way round, he beat death and he betrayed the home he spent his life searching for to try save her. for once he chose what he wanted, her, over the universe.
and after all that, all he managed to do was make it so she lost him instead.
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A thing I think should be included with Ruby’s abandonment/attachment issues when we’re writing her, is that she was a foster sibling to a lot of kids. Like a lot of kids. She has effectively lost so many siblings and playmates and even babies/very young children she’s essentially had a hand in raising. Her entire life has been loving and losing. And for foster kids getting adopted or reunited with their parents under better circumstances, she will basically have been unable to grieve that properly because it’s a good thing they’re gone and they’re supposed to celebrate it. She’s clearly very loving and caring even after a whole life of that, even though each time they leave a piece of her goes with them.
No shit she’s going to end up with some attachment issues. Especially if she considers herself the lucky one, survivor’s guilt, Carla adopted her and none of the others, who have probably expressed that sentiment to her directly and asked why, in the hopes they could stay forever too, or just jealousy - what made you so special?
Foster children/youths in the UK also have to choose themselves to stay in-touch. Foster carers cannot directly contact the child once they have left their care. A “clean slate” approach is preferred. So if the child doesn’t request to get into contact — and sometimes aren’t told they would have to or are discouraged from doing so — that means losing contact immediately and for good. Does that remind you of anything? Sometimes it also happens very quickly - it is far from unheard of for a foster sibling to go to school in the morning and find out the child they’ve been living with for months has gone when they come back in the evening. Even with warning it could still often be only days. I think you could argue 73 Yards has more to do with Ruby’s experience as a foster sibling than being an adoptee.
And of course the continuous loss of loved ones mirrors the Doctor’s experience with their companions fairly often. Another thing that quietly binds them that most other people couldn’t understand.
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