#misha panic button

[elegyofthemoon]

before i forget because i accidentally hit the dismiss button instead of snooze on the daily alarm for these whoopsies ASLDKFJH

I didn't do a lot today because I was nauseated and had cramps from period starting x - x

Either yesterday or today I sent an audio to Nick to say thanks for being a longtime friend and for being there for me, and he sent me a "I just want you to be happy audio" which made me cry early morning LKAJSDHFAL he is very sweet and I love him

INTERNET FINALLY CAME BACK YAAAAY so back to usual nonsense

Found and created the discount code for eSIMs for Gaza so hopefully more people will use it now that there's a discount to it!!

Also created the backup account on Pillowfort but didn't do anything yet. Started exporting blogs in preparation. Idk that made me happy mostly because I felt accomplished by doing that laksdjfha

WAS REALLY GLAD I DID NOT START PANIC CRYING AFTER I TOOK THE PRACTICE EXAM like at this point, it's a "who cares" and "fuck it we ball" scenario because I'm just on my way out and I really could care less anymore. So I consider that a win for me !!

Started applying for jobs once I get back 👍🏼so I'm glad I'm just starting to work more on the future I want than a future that's now just a faded dream

SPEEDRUNNING HARDCORE THROUGH FLAMECHASERS EVENT IN HONKAI BC I ONLY HAVE 4 DAYS AND IM ASS AT TOWER OF DEFENSE SEND YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS it's so so funny though I'm so glad I didn't run out of time with it ;; 7 ;;

ALSO I got e2 DHIL and e6 Sampo, followed by Luka and Misha's light cone. so I am :]

small thing but also made friend laugh :) i win

Looked further into the whole ordeal with lads and that turned out to be misinformation x - x so i'm kinda relieved i chilled and investigated further for myself 👍🏼

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better in terms of cramps and feeling nauseated x - x but !! yeah back to speeding through summer rhapsody o7

[thelibrarylesstrektraveled]

Nightingale Chapter Fourteen - The Reckoning

Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.

That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex

Chapter Fourteen: The Reckoning

Word Count: 6072

Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.

This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!

Masterlist

Nightingale Masterlist

Jensen followed the smell of freshly brewed coffee to the kitchen. When he woke alone, he had that brief moment of panic that last night was just a dream. But there you were. Bare footed, wearing his button down from last night, humming as you iced hot cinnamon rolls. You licked white frosting from your thumb while spreading your knife with the other hand. Delightfully unaware that you were being admired from the kitchen doorway. It was a charmingly domestic scene that Jensen didn’t think he’d ever witness again.

You were lost in your own thoughts when two thick arms came around your waist. A very warm, solid, familiar form molded to you from behind. Jensen’s breath tickled your ear as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

The hot kiss he pressed to the junction of your neck and shoulder had you humming happily. “Well, good morning.”

“Very good morning.” He grinned as you turned in his grasp to face him. Your arms wound around his neck and your lips found his.

You nipped playfully at his bottom lip, “Are you hungry?”

“You offering breakfast or round two?” You swatted his backside and slid out of his grasp. “I mean, I’m down for either! Or both… hopefully both…”

You handed him a large mug of black coffee and instructed him to sit while you plated up the cinnamon rolls. You had to smile at the surprised look that crossed his face when he tasted them.

“Wow, these are actually edible.”

You narrowed your eyes over the rim of your cup, “I’m not completely inept in the kitchen.”

“I have three scorched saucepans that would disagree,” Jensen leaned over and grabbed another roll. “Seriously, these are like blue ribbon at the county fair.”

“Alright, fine… they’re Maddy’s recipe. I was living on ramen and Captain Crunch when I first moved back here so she made a bunch of stuff and filled my freezer. All I had to do was follow the instructions”

His smile faded a bit at the mention of the days right after your breakup. “I’ll have to thank her the next time I see her. Although, I think she’d rather spit in my face.”

“She wouldn’t do that. Not if the kids are with her,” You reached over to toy with his fingers, “Besides, Chrissy still likes you.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s just using me for my Nintendo.”

“Not anymore, he got one for Christmas.”

“Now I really am screwed!”

The two of you laughed softly before falling into an awkward silence. You kept the contact of his fingers in yours, hoping that he knew you weren’t angry with him. The guilt was coming off him in waves. There was so much unresolved between you. It was ignored easily enough in the night, but it loomed large in the unforgiving light of day.

“Hey.” You squeezed his fingers, prompting him to look at you, “I love you.”

He let out the breath he’d been holding, “I love you too.”

“Good.” You nodded; it was a start. “Now what?”

Jensen chuckled, “I have no idea. Go home?”

When your expression fell, he panicked. “Sweetheart, it’s your call. Whatever you want, I’ll do anything…”

You put your hand to his lips, stopping his rambling with a sad smile. He was worried. Afraid, and God did you understand that.

“I love you.” You said it again, just to make sure he never doubted it. “But Jay, we can’t go back to the way things were.”

“Because you don’t want to?”

“Because it didn’t last. You know when Clif showed you those files…”

Jensen cut you off, “I meant it when I said I don’t care about the files. Or the articles or any of it.”

“I know, and I believe you. I do, but you also kept it from me.” You hated yourself for pointing it out, but knew you had to. “You sat on those files for a week and said nothing.”

“I didn’t want to scare you. God knows, it scared me! All those names… baby, you must have been running from something. Something bad. And if you can’t remember it, how in the hell am I supposed to protect you from it?”

“You can’t.”

It was the truth, but that didn’t make it wany easier to say. “There are a million things that could happen. To me or to you. The only way we’re going to get through any of it is together.”

“You’ve been protecting me since you pulled me out of that lake. You’re a hero. You’re my hero. But I am okay now, Jensen… I’m better. I’m healed.”

He trailed a finger down your cheek, tracing where that bruise had been, “You don’t have your memories back.”

“I don’t think I ever will,” you said with a small shrug. “It’s been seven months, I’m back in my old job and apartment. If they haven’t come back by now, they likely won’t. And you’re right, I was probably running. I wish I knew why. But my face was all over the media with that TMZ story, if something was coming… wouldn’t it have showed up by now?”

“You make good points.”

“I’ve had a long time to think about it. I don’t want to pretend none of this happened. I don’t want to build a life on a faulty foundation. I want to work through it, so we can come out stronger on the other side.”

He took both of your hands in his. Your strong, skilled doctor’s hands. The hands that had soothed his brow when he was sick and held him when he was grieving. They fit with his, just as they always had.

“You want to build a life with me? Even still?”

Your eyes softened, “When I told you to stay, I didn’t mean just for the night.”

“So, you don’t want to move back in with me now. But… someday?” he asked hopefully.

“Someday. But for now, let’s date.”

“Date?”

“Yeah, you know… like normal people!” You tilted your head to the side playfully, “Unless you’re already taken.”

Jensen gave you a thoughtful look, then tugged you over to sit on his lap, “Well, there is this girl I’ve got my eye on.”

“Oh?”

“Yup. She’s this hot shot doctor with legs for days.”

You slung your arms around his neck, “Huh.”

“She’s super smart too… and funny. Eyes like Bluebonnets, maybe you’re seen her?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Oh? Well, she does this swirly thing with her tongue on my….”

“Shut up,” you grinned, swallowing the rest of his words with a kiss.

Three months later an unusually warm spring came to Vancouver. Snow disappeared, trees burst with fresh leaves and the grass greened up almost overnight. The night at the Green Room was a distant memory to you now as you and Jensen resumed your relationship. There was lots of work to be done, but you were both committed to the task. In the end, you only stayed at your apartment during long stints at the hospital. But it worked to help the two of you keep a balance as you rebuilt the trust that had been damaged.

Jensen still didn’t agree with you about leaving your murky past in the past, but he did agree to let it present itself in its own time. The mystery of how your private information got leaked to the press, was another matter. It took surprisingly little digging to discover the source.

“Wait… who?”

“You remember that little red head that worked the desk down in the health club?”

You furrowed your brow in concentration, “No.”

“Do you remember the time you lost your phone in the changing room? Someone turned it in at the desk a few hours later?”

“Oh,” your eyes widened, “Oh yeah! She said it was found in the elevator.”

“Her little brother interns at TMZ, I guess he got quite the promotion for that story.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“I wish. Anyway, it was a clear privacy violation, not to mention staff policy so they let her go this morning.”

“All this from losing my phone for an afternoon,” you shook your head, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I should have believed you that night, regardless of what that article said. I knew better. It happens a lot in this industry, I should have thought of that.”

You shook your head again, this time brushing a kiss over his lips. “No more ‘I’m sorry’s’ huh? We both know where we stand now. All’s forgiven, we’re good. Right?”

“Right.”

There was power in forgiveness. Perhaps even more than love. So often love is unconscious. It exists as an outside force that we are subject to, like the wind, or gravity. It crops up out of nowhere and leaves us reeling. Forgiveness may stem from love, but it’s not a whim. It’s a choice. You and Jensen chose each other and that was a foundation you could build on.

“Doctor Baines, report to the E.R. stat. Doctor Baines, to the E.R. stat.”

You had just finished changing into your regular clothes when you heard the page over the intercom. You threw your lab coat back on over your t-shirt and ran back to the emergency room. It was a two car collision between a family of four and a drunk driver. The staff immediately shifted into triage mode as you barked orders. Emotions shut off and training took over.

It was a God awful, bloody mess.

An hour later, it was over. Ending just as you knew it would the minute you saw them. Only one survivor, the girl. Everyone else succumbed to their injuries, including the fucking drunk driver. Your staff performed like the heroes they were, you couldn’t have been more proud. You took on the task of telling the families. It was your job and if you could spare your co-workers any additional trauma, you were damn well going to.

God! The look on the grandfather’s face would haunt you forever! And he still thanked you. He fucking thanked you for saving the girl, even though his family was utterly shattered!

You managed to hold yourself with professional poise and condolences until you were down the hall. Then your stomach constricted, and you bolted into the ladies’ room just in time to lose your lunch in the first stall. You didn’t know how long you sat there, your heart thundering in your ears and your head throbbing with every beat. After a time, you heard the bathroom door open.

“You okay, kid?”

McMillan. “Aces.”

Tony leaned his hip on the counter as he looked down at you still on the tiled floor. “You did everything right.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“That girl is going to make it because of you.”

“Yeah, and when she finds out the rest of her family didn’t, I’m sure she’ll send me a fucking fruit basket.”

Tony watched you angrily launch yourself up and over to the sink to splash water on your face. “We can’t save everyone Gabs, you know that. It comes with the territory.”

“Well, the territory sucks.”

“Some days, yeah. Other days, we save lives, and those days outweigh the bad ones. Even when we fail a million times, it’s worth it for the one time we don’t.”

You scoffed, drying your face with a paper towel, “Where’d you come up with that? Pre-Med or the inside of a Snapple cap?”

He tilted his head, “From you. The day I interviewed you, hired you on the spot.”

“I wish I remembered,” you said, tossing the paper in the bin.

“I do too. I’m giving you three days leave.”

“Tony…”

“This isn’t a disciplinary action, nor a request.” He gave your shoulder a fatherly squeeze. “This is preventative mental care. I’m not going to let you spiral down again. Take a few days and take care of yourself so you can come back and kick ass.”

“Are you sure they don’t mind us dropping in on them? Maybe they want to spend some family time together.” You said, quietly looking out the window at the passing landscape.

“Gen practically begged me, Jared too. Three kids are a lot even for the two of them, and at least with you and me there we’ll outnumber the little rug rats.” Jensen reached over the adjusted the air-conditioned controls. “Besides, you and I didn’t get a chance to swim the last time we were up here.”

“That’s because it was snowing.”

“Still,” he took your hand in his and squeezed. “Still.”

You both fell silent for the rest of the car ride. You knew he was worried about you. Again. He came home to find you still up after that horrible shift. Sitting in the dark, your knees drawn up to your chest. You told him everything. How you felt like a failure for not being able to pull yourself together. You were supposed to be a professional. You’d lost patients before, but this hit you hard. And you couldn’t keep your mind from thinking about the dreams you used to have of those girls. You hadn’t had one in a very long time. Maybe you’d failed them too. Maybe that was why they were back, haunting you.

Jensen was quick to suggest a trip to the cabin. He might not be able to give you answers, but he could help with the stress. The Padaleckis were in town to spend a few days at their cabin, take advantage of the warm weather and down time before the final filming push. He wasn’t kidding about Gen; she loved the idea of having another woman around. And he loved those kids as if they were his own niece and nephews. Plus, kids are great at pulling you into the present, they certainly did when he was going through his divorce.

Gen greeted you both as you pulled up, “Hey! It’s the cavalry!”

You climbed out of the car and into a tight hug. Gen was surprisingly strong for a woman of her stature. “I don’t know about that, but we did bring graham crackers.”

“Thank God! Smores at the cabin is a Padalecki family tradition, if we don’t have all the ingredients, things get ugly.”

“The little one gets vicious,” Jensen said as he pulled your suitcases out of the trunk. “Last time I saw her, she held my gummy bears hostage until I put Harry Potter on.”

Gen wrapped an arm around you, leading you into the house, “Dot’s a master negotiator, we’re thinking future lawyer, or defense against the dark arts teacher.”

You felt off. You couldn’t really explain it, but ever since your last shift at the hospital things felt disjointed. Your perception was off, and it made you unusually clumsy. You bumped into tables, stubbed your toe, smacked your elbow on the dresser. And your head was killing you. It made you wonder if this was what you’d been experiencing the day you had your panic attack. The day that prompted McMillan to put you on leave the first time. You did your best to put it out of your mind. So, you changed into your swimsuit, took a couple of aspirin, and headed out to meet everyone by the pool.

Jensen was already in the water, playing Marco Polo with the kids while Jared was climbing out of the deep end to towel off. Gen was walking towards the grill with a plater of burgers and kabobs. It was a classic summer scene. Bright sunlight, blue skies reflected in the shimmering pool water. Peals of children’s laughter mixed with splashes of water and music coming from the sound system. It was fun, joyful, and familiar.

You didn’t realize Jared had come up beside you until his hand was on your shoulder, “Y/N? You, okay?”

You blinked dumbly up at him. His long hair slicked back with pool water; brows raised with concern.

“You wore those trunks that day on the lake.”

His eyes widened. He’d never seen you when one of your memories surfaced. You went a bit pale, and he panicked, ushering you to a lounge chair. “Here, sit… sit. Jensen!”

“I’m alright,” you insisted, shutting your eyes as you sat down. With a bit of focus, you got the full image to click in your mind.

When you opened your eyes, you found both men kneeling in front of you. Gen was wrangling the kids by the poolside. Your head felt light for a moment and then cleared.

Jensen was rubbing his thumb gently at your temple, “Hey, there she is.”

“That boat was too big for you.” You voice sounded far away and detached to your ears.

“Boat?” asked Jared.

“The sailboat,” you clarified, your voice getting stronger. “The one you had that day on the lake. A rig that size is too big for two people to handle.”

“You remember the day at the lake?” Jensen smiled; it was always so exciting when you got a piece of the forgotten back.

“A little.” You looked up at Jared with a shrug, “You wore those same swim trunks on the boat.”

Jensen smirked, “Yeah, he thinks they’re lucky. What else do you remember?”

“You. Blue trunks and sunglasses.” You brough a hand to your forehead. “It was a really nice day.”

“Headache?” He guessed. When you nodded, he patted your knee. “Maybe no swimming today, huh?”

You resigned yourself to Jensen’s sound judgement. Gen joined for you for a while with a stack of fashion magazines and a pitcher of lemonade. You soaked up the sun while the boys occupied the kids and took turns pretending to be sea monsters and mermaids respectively. It was a lovely afternoon, and you did your best to relax. Despite your best efforts, tension coiled in the pit of your stomach. Nothing you did seemed to shake it.

“Is it usually like this when she gets a memory back?” Jared asked as pulled a beer out of the fridge.

“Yeah, for the most part,” Jensen glanced out the window at you stretching in the lounger. “The headaches are a bitch, though. Sleep usually helps.”

“Its gotta be frustrating, trying so hard to remember something and getting nothing, then it hits you when you aren’t expecting it.”

“And then she only gets a picture of you in your ugly ass lucky shorts.”

“These shorts are lucky; I was wearing them that time I found your missing car keys?” Jared handed Jensen a beer, “And your girlfriend.”

Jensen clinked his bottle against Jared’s, “Those shorts aren’t just lucky, they’re divine.”

Gen had asked you to watch the kids while she went inside to change and grab some fresh towels. They had abandoned the water for a snack break in the cabana. Shep and Odette chattered and bickered away while Tom flipped on the television. They really were adorable kids. Each of them perfect little versions of their parents.

Odette called you over, her little voice insistent, “Y/N! Come look at the pretty lady!”

You tied your sarong around your hips and crossed the patio to the swatch of grass where the striped awning was set up. “Pretty lady?”

Tom pointed excitedly at the t.v. “Dottie’s right! She looks just like you!”

Your eyes locked onto the screen, and you felt the air leave your lungs. Your own face stared back at you, and something unlocked deep within your mind. Everything flooded back to you in an instant, but you had no time to ponder it. The force of it left you reeling, your vison swam, and you had the vague sensation of falling just before everything went dark.

Jared frowned when he heard yelling from outside. His eyes went wide as he glanced out the kitchen window, “Oh shit!”

Jensen was right behind him, sprinting across the deck towards the screaming children. You were collapsed in the grass, and he had a sick feeling just like the day he pulled you from the water. He dropped to his knees beside you, gingerly turning you over.

“No, no, no, no… Y/N?! Baby?!”

You were deathly pale and your features scrunched up with a groan. You didn’t open your eyes, but it was still the sweetest sound Jensen had ever heard. “Sweetheart?”

Jared had a wailing Odette in his arms while his boys were both talking at once, trying to explain what had happened.

Jensen tapped your cheeks gently with the back of his fingers, “Come on Y/N, open those baby blues for me.”

“No,” you managed to moan, the world felt like it was spinning on an unsteady axis. Your stomach lurched and your head pounded like you’d been on a three-day bender.

“Sure, you can, come on.”

Gen was there just over Jensen’s shoulder, “What happened? Do we need to call an ambulance?”

“Dizzy,” you groaned, turning your head away. “Dizzy.”

Jensen frowned as he ran a hand over your forehead and found it clammy. “Okay, okay. Let’s go inside. Get out of the sun, huh?”

He scooped up your limp body, shushing you when you whimpered softly, “Shh, I’ve got you, I’m right here.”

Your head lolled aimlessly against his shoulder as he hurried into the house with you, while Gen rushed ahead to help with the door.

Jared knelt down to talk to his sons. Odette still clung to him; her little arms and legs wrapped tight around him. The boys had mostly calmed down, at least enough to get some answers.

“Okay guys, what happened? Were you rough housing, huh? Throwing the ball around?”

“No Dad! We were just watching t.v.” Shep said, his face still red from crying.

“Its okay if you were, no one’s in trouble. We just need to know so we can help Y/N.” He looked to his oldest, “Tom?”

Tom lifted his head to shake his shaggy hair out of his eyes, “I don’t know what happened. We were watching t.v., like Shep said. But then this lady came on and looked like Y/N. And when we showed her, she got real quiet and just fell. I don’t know why! Is she going to be okay?”

“Look, Daddy!” Odette pointed at the television. “Look! It’s the pretty lady!”

Jared turned to the t.v. and his mouth hung open. “What the hell?”

Jensen quietly closed the door to the guest room. He stayed with you until you settled into an uneasy sleep. You never opened your eyes again, but you mumbled plenty. Mostly nonsense, but he did catch one key phrase.

“Remember… I remember…”

He shoved down his own instinct to press for answers and instructed you to rest, knowing it was for the best. He was still lost in his own thoughts when he found Jared in the kitchen. He was in front of his laptop while Gen was ushering the kids down the hall to wash the chlorine out of their hair.

Jared’s head popped up, “Hey, how she doing?”

“She’s okay, sleeping it off.” Jensen blew out a breath as he plopped down on a barstool at the counter. “I should have brough her in earlier. Being dizzy before with the heat made a bad combination.”

“I don’t think it was just the heat.” Jared turned the laptop around, so the screen was visible. “Take a look at this.”

Y/N West came from humble beginnings. In the small farming community of Monroe, Iowa, she was a straight-A student. Captain of the swim team, and even tutored SAT prep courses during the summer. So, how did this All-American girl get drawn into the murky world of drug trafficking?

“This is unreal…” Jensen murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.

Jared gave him a sympathetic look, “I know, but it does explain the aliases and job changes. And then there’s this…”

He clicked on another link and opened a video clip. A young woman who could be your double was being interviewed. The clip was recent, maybe a month old. Her name appeared in the description, Francesca West-Robinson.

“Mrs. Robinson, what is your response to the recent photos of the woman dating the actor Jensen Ackles?”

“I think she’s my sister.”

“Your sister who was killed in a car crash seven years ago?” The reporter pressed.

Francesca raised her chin a notch, a movement that mimicked you. “It was her car in that crash, but the remains were difficult to identify.”

“Are you saying she faked her own death? To escape being persecuted for her crimes?”

“I’m saying my sister is alive. I’ve never doubted it, and now these pictures prove it. As for her alleged crimes, she would never, never deal drugs. Nor would she ever be a willing party to that sort of activity. Not ever.”

The blue eyes that mirrored yours went glassy with emotion. “My sister has a family who loves her and misses her. If you know her, if you’ve seen her… if you know anything, please. Just send her home.”

You didn’t sleep long and when you woke, you were whole again. Clear headed. Every missing piece was now back in place. You had your memory back in vivid detail. Now, would come the reckoning.

You changed into fresh clothes and paused to check your reflection in the mirror over the dresser. You could see yourself fully now. The hints of your childhood in the tiny, almost translucent scar in your hairline, in the remarkable eyes that came to you from your mother’s side. The shape of your cheekbones resembled your paternal grandmother, the one you were named for. You recalled the day you chopped off your long hair and headed to college in the big city, desperate to live up to the scholarship you worked so hard for.

All of it melded with the woman you’d become in recent months. In many ways, you weren’t so very different from who you’d always been. Certainly, the same protective instincts that motivated you then guided you still.

With a sigh, you opened the bedroom door and walked down the hallway, you paused just short of the kitchen. Your sister’s voice echoed from the small speakers, and you put a hand to your stomach to still the nerves fluttering there. It had been so long since you’d heard it and you were immediately aching for home.

Jensen and Jared were at the breakfast bar, huddled together, watching the laptop.

Your friends.

These were your friends. They were such good men! They took care of you and stood by you through so much. They opened their homes and their lives to you; they deserved an explanation at the very least.

“You must have questions.”

Their heads whipped up at your soft statement and Jensen came to your side. Ever the hero, his chief concern was for you.

“Hey, Sweetheart… are you alright?”

There was a subtle shift in your gaze, the underlying uncertainty had lifted. You looked confident in a way you never had before. It felt as if he were meeting you for the first time. A part of him felt oddly intimidated.

“I’m better.”

“You’ve got your memory back?”

“The good, the bad, and the ugly.” The corner of your mouth quirked. “Ask me anything.”

When Jensen hesitated, Jared jumped in. “Are you actually a doctor?”

“According to Harvard Medical, I am.”

“So, your name, your real name, is Doctor Y/N West?” Jared asked.

“Yeah.” Your smile was bittersweet, “God, that’s nice to hear. I haven’t been her in a very long time.”

“Because you faked your own death?” Jensen choked out. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned away, “Christ, I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Try living it.” You paused and titled your head thoughtfully, “Is that the right terminology, given the subject?”

Jensen spun around, warning flashing in his eyes.

“Sorry. Gallows humor.” You snapped your fingers, “Ha! Now see, that’s the right terminology!”

“You think this is funny?”

“I think its utterly absurd, but here we are. And I am sorry. I’m so sorry, this whole mess is my fault and now its spilled over into your life.”

“A mess,” Jensen echoed. “That’s one way to describe dealing drugs.”

You were incredulous but only for a moment before righteous indignation took over. “Doctor Y/N West, the drug dealer. Un-fucking-believable. You know, this is what happens when you don’t properly tend to your reputation. I thought that when I died, I would just die. Rest in peace, but no! I live on in misinformed episodes of Dateline.”

When you realized that both men were staring at you in confusion, you took a deep breath and started again.

“I am not a drug dealer, I’m an informant. I’m in witness protection.” The article was still pulled up on the laptop and a picture of your sister stared back at you. A ghost of your past come to hold you to the mark. You reached over and gently closed the screen.

“His name was Colin Garrett. He was the doctor in charge of the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital. It’s a super competitive program, when I got in it was like winning the lottery! I couldn’t believe it… and Colin was fantastic. I adored him.”

“You had a relationship with him?” Jensen asked.

“For nearly a year,” It still turned your stomach to think of what your poor judgement had cost you. “I thought he was everything I ever wanted. He was such a talent. Charming and funny, and he just seemed to know everything. He was so worldly. Older than me by quite a bit, but it didn’t seem to matter. Everything went so smoothly when he was around. First time I didn’t have to worry about everything. Hell, even Frankie liked him.”

“Frankie?” Jared repeated.

“Frankie is my sister, Francesca. Our parents were killed in a car accident when we were kids. We were in the back seat… she almost didn’t make it. It’s why I became a doctor. I wanted to do something to pay it forward. Make a difference like they did.”

“I think you succeeded there,” Jensen said, the soft light of admiration in his eyes.

“On good days, I get close. Anyway, I was with Colin for little over a year and everything was great. We didn’t really see each other much, but that was nothing new. I was up to my eyeballs finishing up my final year of med school and Colin traveled a lot for work.”

Jensen was confused, “Why would a doctor travel for work?”

“He was promoted to the board of directors.” You rolled your eyes at how naïve you’d been. “Don’t ask me how he managed it. It was classic Colin, he always seemed to magically have the right connections, it was just effortless. When he was promoted, he ended up doing mostly fundraising work. So, the hospital would send him everywhere to charm money out of millionaires. I didn’t figure it out until much later, but that was how he was able to run things for so long.”

“The drug ring was his,” Jared said quietly, “And you were testifying against him.”

“He was a middleman,” you explained. “Cog in a machine. Opioids is big business and Colin was the guy who tip off the mob on when and where shipments were being delivered. Since he was in contact with so many other hospitals with his new position, it was next to impossible to track him. Their operation was nationwide.”

“The mob,” Jensen repeated. “Where the hell is the FBI in all of this? If you are in witness protection, why haven’t they been looking for you? Where the hell have they been for the past nine months?”

“Its not like it is in the movies. The FBI is interested in mob activities only up to a point.” You shook your head as the image of the last time you saw Colin came to mind.

“Colin was out of town when the FBI raided our apartment. They arrested me on the spot, said they had enough to charge me as an accomplice. It was all part of their intimidation tactics which they didn’t need because once they told me what he’d been up to, I was happy to cooperate. I was working with them on setting up a sting when Colin turned up dead in the Hudson. Twenty-four hours later I was in Canada with a new identity.”

You hadn’t thought of that day in a long time. The day you died. It was as surreal now as it was then. You knew your little sister would never accept your death. The two of you had been close, you only had each other after your parents died. It killed you to think of her mourning you, but you still held out hope that one day you’d make it back to her. Make it up to her.

“Without Colin, the drug ring seemed to dry up. Everything just got quiet. They moved me around less and less, then just stopped all together. Its like every other type of job, I guess. The FBI agents want to do work that gets them noticed and gives them a leg up.”

“So, this case isn’t flashy enough for them?” Jared shook his head.

“If everything is back to normal, why not go back to your old life?” asked Jensen.

“I couldn’t risk it. That car crash Frankie was talking about… That was her. Not me. We look a lot alike; her car was in the shop, so she borrowed mine. Someone cut the brake line. She got pretty banged up but survived. The FBI saw it as an opportunity, said they couldn’t have planned it better.”

Your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out, you read the brief message. “My contact. They’ll be here in an hour.”

“You’re leaving.” Jensen breathed.

You couldn’t stop the tears from filling your eyes. You felt like you were leaving your little sister all over again. The second family you’d built around yourself was about to be blown apart and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Where will they send you?” asked Jared.

“Who knows… Timbuktu? Given the spectacular job I did blowing my own cover, I doubt it will even have running water let alone internet.”

“No.”

“Jensen…”

“No,” he repeated, his voice gruff. “I’m not losing you. Not again.”

“You say that as if you have a choice. I’m sorry,” you said as tears spilled over your lashes. “But you don’t. And neither do I.”

“There is always a choice! You’re not alone in this, Y/N…. stay.” Jensen didn’t care that he was begging. He would get down on his damn knees if he had to, be it in front of the FBI or God himself. He wasn’t going to let you go without a fight.

“Sweetheart, stay. I can protect you; I’ll hire the best damned security money can buy! I’ll keep you safe.”

You tilted you head sadly, if only it were that easy. God, how you wanted it to be!

“What about your family?” You asked softly. “Your sister’s pregnant again, right? How about your parents? Jared and Gen? Their kids? Your co-workers. Maddy and the twins. Its everyone, Jensen. Everyone who knows me or is connected to me in any way is a target!”

Hearing you list off the names of people he loved was meant to sway him, instead it steeled his resolve. He grasped your shoulders, “The only way you’re walking out that door, is with me by your side.”

You let out a broken sigh as he swiped the tears away and crooked a finger under your chin. “Jay, these people are killers.”

“I know. But living the rest of my life without you would kill me all the same, just slower. So you and I are going to mee the FBI together to see what the options are. Because a decision this big should at least be an informed one.”

You finally nodded in agreement, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you tight. Jared’s worried gaze met his for a moment before he turned and went down the hall to his wife and children. Jensen wasn’t the only one with people to protect.

[lgcrp]

◔ ┈ LOADING … TRAINEE PROFILE INITIATED !

HONG MISHA ( READ MORE HERE )

AGE 22 ( 13 AUGUST 2001 )

TRAINED FOR 2 YEARS AND 8 MONTHS ( SIGNED JULY 2021 )

              INTRODUCTION VIDEO FOUND … PRESS PLAY ?

her smile softens her. she know this because people have been telling her as much for as long as she's been alive. even now, she knows what she looks like: big, brown eyes that bleed ingenuity, round cheeks, perpetually flushed and cherubic – not out of any felt bashfulness but a damned darlingness that seems to coat her every feature. she tries, in vain, to dress in a way that contrasts the gut reaction she elicits by virtue of her existence, but there's little to be done about her genes. all of this is to say: she knows what she's doing. like any competent business woman, she leans into her best, most appealing qualities and uses them to her advantage. her introduction is a choice, and maybe a conscious effort to be in on the bit. she elects to dress the generic introduction set with self-made pieces to create a vibe without the power of editing and color grading on her side, and in the center of it all, she stands, dressed every bit as sweet and inoffensive. "hello and welcome to nekkoya airlines! i'm hong misha, a nearly-three year trainee here at legacy, and i'll be in charge of holding onto your heart for the duration of your flight." she introduces, throwing in a cheesy wink at the end. "fortunately, you're in good hands, because i'm licensed in all matters of singing–" here, she sings a simple scale, "acting–" a dramatic look off into the distance with her hands clasped over her chest, "and mind control." misha emphasizes 'mind control' by cupping her face like a flower and wiggling her fingers on either side. "if you feel yourself getting lightheaded, do not panic! it's a common side effect of falling in love. and don't bother looking for an exit either, because, once you're in, there's no way out~!" she subtly presses a button to play a ding! sound and looks around with feigned surprise, a hand over her mouth as she gasps. "oh! sounds like the pilot's ready for take off! be sure to fasten your seatbelt and keep your eyes on me. let's meet again once we've landed. until then, bye-bye!!"

            INTERESTED ? REACH OUT TO THE TRAINEE !

[gish]

LAST CHANCE! If you want to adopt a Porcupanda, attend the virtual wrap party, or hoard #gishwhes schwag like the dragons you were always meant to be, upgrade your registration today! https://www.gishwhes.com/update_registration_level.php

[powerfulweak]

Please enjoy the soothing sound of Misha Collins’ voice

[doctorprofessorsong]

A dramatic re-telling of my SPNDen adventure

So, I was supposed to go to the gold panel, but I had to run to the room for something. The elevator stops on the third floor and the doors open a few inches, close again, open a bit, close. Stop. I'm decidedly stuck.

I calmly (frantically) press every button, nothing happens.

So I call the emergency services with the call button. "Please hold for emergency services. *hold music."

Well fuck. Like a modern person with 12 minutes to get out of the elevator, I send completely normal messages like "HELP. I'M STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR." Nothing goes through.

It occurs to me this is my fault for locking Dean and Cas in an elevator in TBATT.

Someone comes on the line "emergency services how may I help you?"

I inform them I am stuck in the elevator. The operator responds as if I have ordered a value meal and she needs to know what soda I want: "is the power out?"

I confirm that my new prison is well lit. She says OK I'll let them know call if there are further emergencies. Click.

I am like: she didn't even ask me where I was? The doors open again a few inches.

I try pulling them. They stubbornly mock me. I wish Misha Collins, beefcake, was there. I try pacing a bit to see if I can get service. Nothing happens.

Finally, I hear someone walk by. I scream through the crack in the door to go tell the front desk and thankfully they do.

The facilities guy shows up and informs me the fire department is coming. As an added bonus to intermittent opening and closing of the doors, the emergency alarm also goes off sometimes.

I am now not making the beginning of the panel.

The fire department shows up. Finally! I will be free! This is gonna make such a great story in the panel if I'm...nope. they can't get the doors open. But now in addition to the intermittent wail of the alarm, the elevator is shaking as they try to use a tool to pry the doors open.

The doors are as stubborn as Cas, who ignores all my prayers to fly me away. Ass (affectionate). Perhaps I am an abomination.

A firefighter decides to pry the door open from the top. Much shaking ensues. He yells down that the doors are bent.

I joke: so are you saying I live here now?

The firefighter: haha. No. We'll just bring you through the top.

Me: oh nooooooo.

See I am doing great in my new tiny room actually. What I don't enjoy is heights.

And this is high. And small. And actually, I'm good.

The firefighters, unconcerned with the impending hit to my pride (it's as if they are unimpressed with my CLEAR bravery. I'm basically a hero at this point 😅)

They drop a ladder straight down. Understand this ladder is too short. It barely reaches the panel and it's supposed to be angled.

This is definitely how I die. Cool.

I hear the following discussion:

Firefighter 1: you gotta go down

Firefighter 2: oh am I the smallest on the truck

Firefighter 1: yeah. Neither of us are going to fit.

My brain: oh no. What if my ass doesn't fit through the skyhole? I am gonna be like Winnie the Pooh stuck in the cave, getting pushed.

Me (probably).

The firefighter does that cool slide thing they do without touching the rungs.

He has me climb up the ladder. I cannot overstate how much I, and therefore the ladder, is shaking. My buddy firefighter 2, bless him, is like: I'm not gonna let you fall, ma'am.

I get to the top of the ladder and very cooly (complete and total panic) point out (hysterically screech) there is nothing to hold onto.

Firefighter 1 (bless him) says: ma'am, do you want to hold on to me?

I grab his arm so tight the poor man probably has bruises and pull myself out. My ass and I make it...

But not to the J2 panel.

I thank them profusely. Confirm I do not require medical assistance and resolve not to see them again.

I see them a few hours later responding to the fire alarm and medical event.

The Aurora Fire Department is the real MVP of the con.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Hi, I've never really watched much SPN but I saw you say in a post to look through your J*red tag, (I could've sworn people loved him but I took a long tumblr break) and I'm confused about the Destiel thing. I thought when the Destiel episode aired, that people said Jensen looked like he was holding back a slur in that episode. But also excited for it? Which is it?

let me preface this by saying that i'm not mad at YOU at all, but i really am fucking annoyed that people took one screencap with no further context and made it a meme that a whole person was homophobic because of what they interpreted as his facial expression.

first of all, here's a gifset of that part of the scene so you can see what's said and how they look while saying it. here's a gif of the specific bit that the screencap was taken from:

i can't speak for anyone else, but i'm pretty good at reading facial expressions, and i've been watching jensen/dean for years now. i can tell you that this facial expression, being shown in response to "i love you" is dean saying please don't, not like this.

because cas isn't JUST saying "i love you", he's saying it to trigger his own death, in order to save dean's life. by the time cas says it, dean knows that, he knows this is goodbye. and he can't fucking bear for what's between them to be said out loud like this, for the first, the only time, not as cas leaving him again, not as cas sacrificing himself for dean.

this is nothing remotely like "i want to say a slur", it's not pain because he doesn't feel the same; it's pain because this is basically dean's worst nightmare. cas has just told him everything he always wanted to hear, and he's saying it as a goodbye.

BUT, what's more important than my personal interpretation of these facial expressions is that in jensen's first panel after this episode, he said - as tactfully as possible - that a lot of dean's reaction in this scene had been cut.

(he also was very animated when talking about the episode and this scene in particular. he said that he had a crew member record the scene on jensen's personal phone because it was so important to him. he and misha sent fan reaction videos to each other that night. he was excited while talking to fans and asking what they thought, all smiles and delight with how much we liked it.)

you can see that, right after the previous gifs, dean looks over his shoulder at where the empty is coming for cas, and his eyes are absolutely filled with tears.

as soon as the camera angles switch back, the tears are gone.

so we know there were takes where jensen was acting his ASS off, he was full-on crying, and they just cut it all for the blandest reaction possible. because the thing is that while they filmed this episode, 15x18, just before quarantine, they finished filming the last two around six months later. however, 15x18 didn't AIR until after those six months.

long story short, it appears that they were going to make destiel canon, but that long break caused the cw execs to get nervous and hit the panic button to cut out as much gay as possible (most likely to keep the gay cooties off of padalecki to repackage him for his new show walker). i cannot emphasize enough how everything about the season (which was genuinely good) leading up to this moment absolutely screamed 'canon endgame destiel', and then something happened, and nothing about the final episode (which was horrible) or what anyone says about it makes any sense.

we know that misha was in vancouver at time of filming the finale, yet castiel never reappeared. we know that at least ten scenes were cut from the finale script, and the aired episode was suspiciously short with a lot of filler. we know that the explanations people have given for why things changed don't hold water, and we've gotten different stories from different people, some of whom are obviously under NDAs.

okay, so the reason i explained all of that is because fans more knowledgeable in filmmaking than i have analyzed this 15x18 confession scene and determined that it's not just that they used the most boring takes, but they actually butchered it. i.e. they used footage of jensen from different parts of the scene and shoehorned it into this moment so that it was as not-gay as possible.

my friend @winchestersingerautorepair has done a bunch of meta on this topic if you happen to be interested on the above mentioned analysis of the editing.

tl;dr: they butchered jensen's acting to make the scene as straight as possible.

and despite that, they couldn't edit out the fact that dean spent hours sobbing on the floor after cas was taken.

[alinastracker]

malina week day 5 — free choice

false saint

a smutty one-shot inspired by taylor swift’s “false god” (ao3)

Alina Starkov had been one of the most powerful Grisha alive once, a saint —though a false one — to most of Ravka.

Maybe it was time to step into a different kind of power.

ruin and rising spoilers!

For the first time since they opened Keramzin up to Ravka’s orphaned children six months ago, the halls were quiet. Gone were the sounds of running feet and squealing laughter. Even though they only had four children, not including Misha, currently staying at the orphanage, happy children were often loud children, and it was the young couple’s top priority that the kids they took in were happy — as happy as any child who’s lost everything could be. 

The quiet was oddly startling, even though Alina knew that the children were perfectly fine, out on a trip into town with their teacher, Karine, and the orphanage’s gruff cook, Stasia. 

“Children should learn about their food early,” the woman had insisted, and so the little field trip into town had been planned. Karine went with, partly because five children were a handful for one woman, and partly because some of the children were still rather intimidated by Stasia. 

The children were safe, and Alina was enjoying the quiet. But every now and then, caught off guard by the stillness, came a flicker of panic, and she had to remind herself once more. The children are safe. The Darkling is dead. 

And though the home was quiet, she was not alone.

Alina pressed her forehead against one of the full length windows of the upstairs reading nook. They had wanted this room to be comfy and bright, and the large windows that faced the back of the property certainly assured that. She could see Mal down there, tending to the garden, his hands deep inside of the dirt. For a moment, she let all of her worries float away and pictured his fingers deep inside of her instead. She had to squeeze her thighs together as heat rushed to her center, demanding friction. 

The sun was shining brightly through the window, and so she angled herself to stand fully in its rays. Alina brought her hand up, letting her fingers play in the light, forcing her sinful thoughts away. She couldn’t say how long she stayed that way, lost in her longing, but it was long enough that Mal had finished in the garden and had come to sneak up behind her. 

“Playing with the light again?” he murmured as his arms wrapped around her. 

Alina nodded, leaning back against his chest.

Mal pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

It was what they always asked each other when they got into these moods, when she became entranced with the sunlight, and he found himself stuck silent and still in the woods. Sometimes the longing hurt, and sometimes it was just the pull to be in the element again — welcoming an old friend, rather than feeling the hole left in its absence. 

“I was just thinking that I miss the feeling sometimes,” Alina sighed. “When I summoned, it was like every inch of my skin was brushed with the softest warmth. I can feel something close to it sometimes, standing in the light like this. Just not as . . . wholly.” 

Mal was quiet for a moment, and she knew if she looked over her shoulder, she’d find the small pinch between his brows that indicated he was thinking. She knew the exact moment when his mind had come to a conclusion, feeling the way his body relaxed. 

“Perhaps,” he murmured, angling himself so his lips just brushed her ear as his hands moved to grip her hips, “it would help if the sun could hit every inch of you.” 

Desire returned thick between her thighs, if it had ever truly gone away. “What are you implying?”

“I think you know.”

He was right, she knew exactly what he meant. But they were out in the open, standing right in front of a window. The children were gone, though. The staff, too. There would always be the chance that someone came stumbling into their backyard and looked up, but maybe the risk made it all the better. 

She had been one of the most powerful Grisha alive once, a saint —though a false one — to most of Ravka.

Maybe it was time to step into a different kind of power.

She took one slow, steady breath, channeling her confidence. 

“Then undress me, Malyen.” 

Mal tensed for a singular breath, then brought his hands around her again, feeling his way up her chest until his fingers found the first button of her shirt. He took his time undoing each one, letting their skin brush each time more of her was bared. When he had the last button undone, the shirt was tossed lazily away. Mal’s hands continued their journey down her body, though her skirt took considerably less time to remove. 

Standing in nothing but her under clothes, Alina closed her eyes, soaking in the feeling of the sunlight brushing new parts of her. She thought for a moment that Mal might stop here. It could be enough, even if she still craved more. 

But he didn’t stop.

Mal hooked his fingers into the band of her underwear, and when she didn’t object, tugged them down. Alina stepped carefully out of the fabric, brushing it away with her foot. His fingers crawled up her backside then, and a moment later, her bra fell to the floor, letting the light consume her whole. 

Alina let her head fall back against Mal’s shoulder, bringing her hands up just as she used to when using her power. It wasn’t quite the same warmth that summoning had brought her, but it was something. 

Mal pressed his lips to the side of her neck and whispered, “Sankta.” 

Encompassed in the light, she almost felt like one. Mal had always had blind faith in her, had died for her. But saints had to prove they were worth the title. 

Alina turned, meeting his eyes. Mal could’ve sworn some of the light had stayed twinkling in her brown orbs. 

“Let me give you something to worship,” she said, and dropped to her knees.

Mal sucked in a sharp breath, but made no move to stop her as she worked to undo his trousers, dragging them down. His underwear came next, his half-hard cock happy to spring free. 

“You don’t have to—” he started. Alina shushed him. She spit into her hand — rather unceremonious for a saint, but alas — and gripped him. Any lingering words of Mal’s fell to the wayside as he moaned. 

It took very little time for him to harden fully with her stroking him. Still, she waited until he couldn’t possibly throb more for her, his cock hard as steel and bulging, before she brought him to her lips and sucked the tip of him into her mouth. 

Mal cursed fervently, his hand forming a fist in the tangles of her silky, pale hair.

Alina swirled her tongue around him, dipping into the place where his desire gathered for her, only encouraged by his curses and the almost painful pull on her scalp. His words were like a prayer, and he only got louder as she took in more of him, swallowing him down her throat even as her body protested. 

She still didn’t know if his size was a blessing or a curse. 

Mal was on the edge from the sight of her alone, those pretty lips he had spent years dreaming about perfectly parted around his cock. He saw the tears in her eyes, though, and so he began to pull back, only for Alina to grip his ass, nails digging into the skin of his backside. Let me, her eyes said, determined. And fuck if it didn’t make his hips thrust against her mouth. 

“Alina,” he moaned.

Her response was a brief, but not gentle, scrape of her teeth against him. Mal hissed, but he didn’t need to look at her to know where he had gone wrong

“Sankta,” he moaned instead, and it felt right. 

Even if she was a false saint, their love — and everything that came with it — was like their own personal religion, blind and eternal. Though the moan that ripped from Mal’s throat as his release hit was anything but holy. 

And this was what Alina had wanted more than anything — to bring him to the edge and push him over. It was a different kind of power, and she let the evidence of it dribble down her chin, droplets landing on her breasts and chest. Different than the blood a saint usually ended up covered in. Different, and much better. 

When she finished milking his release out of him, Alina stood. Backlit by the sun, she looked as saintly as she ever had. Mal licked his lips as he greedily took in the sight of her. She had, undoubtedly, given him something to worship. 

As any righteous man of faith would do before his saint, Mal dropped to his knees. It was not the first time Alina had driven men to kneel before her, and it would not be the last.

“Sankta Alina,” he whispered, bringing his lips to the altar between her thighs, his tongue forming a prayer that felt better than Alina thought possible. 

But it wasn’t just a prayer, it was a whole sermon — every lick, suck, and plunge a promise of his allegiance. He had her mewling and trembling above him in minutes, barely able to keep herself standing as he pushed her past her limits. And she thought, as he rose with his lips glistening from her cunt, that service was over. But Mal only turned her over and pressed her naked body against the window. The glass chilled her bare skin even as the sunlight warmed it.

Mal had his lips at her ear again. “I’m not done worshipping you yet,” he murmured, and smoothly thrust his hard-again cock inside of her. 

If anyone walked by outside or came into the reading nook, there would be no hiding their heavenly sinful act. To her surprise, Alina found the slightest thrill at a stranger discovering such a display. And as Mal fucked her with relentless devotion, she sent a prayer to the true saints that the glass held true. 

This time, they jumped over the edge together, in the way that only the faithful could. Screams on their lips, sweat dripping down their necks, pleasure so intense that it could only be called a religious experience. 

After, Mal scooped her into his arms and brought them to their room. He sat Alina on the bed, leaving briefly to gather wet rags for them. With a gentleness quite opposite from their frantic fucking, Mal cleaned the spend from her body, then his own, before taking the spot beside her, curling his body around hers. 

Though she may be a false saint, Alina could still feel the warmth of the sun on her skin as the peaceful call of sleep pulled her under, a smile on her face.

[harcourtholmesii]

In This Here, Beautiful World (Part 2)

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Pairings: Medic X Heavy / Scout X Miss Pauling / Scout’s Ma X Spy / Soldier X Zhanna / Engineer X Original Character / Saxton Hale X Maggie

Warnings: - Threats of Violence - Violence - Gore

Words: 1849

Summary: When the world goes to shit, in order to survive, you need to be ruthless, and you need to be prepared to do whatever it takes. When nine strangers and their families come together to fight back the zombie plague, tensions will rise between them all, threatening to pull them apart and kill them from the inside-out. It’s a shitty summary, I know. ^^

Enjoy!

The afternoon lecture had always been a slow trek to the day’s end. By this time, most students were far too exhausted and unmotivated to continue their work. Majority of them just wanted to return to their dorms or go out with friends; have some time to relax and recuperate from a long day of studying.

 Mikhail didn’t often sympathise with his class, but the sluggish pace of the day had weighed him down over the hours. He felt just as tired as his class appeared to be, and beneath his eyes, he could feel the stress sinking his expression and morphing his voice to a deep mutter. He was thankful none of the class seemed to care, as it would have been an embarrassing moment of weakness.

 He cleared his throat; only a few heads turning to pay attention.

 ‘Well, it seems the day has left us behind.’ A few of the students seemed sheepish, hiding their red faces behind their books or hands. ‘Perhaps, we will end this session early, and we can pick this up tomorrow.’ He offered the way out to his students with a tired smile.

 Those that were awake, eagerly accepted.

 Students hurried to gather their notes and books, tucking them away in their bags and beginning to dart with newfound energy to the exit. They offered Mikhail a hurried ‘thank you’ as they took off, or a wave if they were too lazy to speak.

 The Russian stood up and rounded his own desk, heading up the line of pitched desks, beginning to awaken those that had crashed. A few leapt up, fuelled by the fear or worry of being scolded, but were relieved when he allowed them leave. Others took their time to awaken, dragging their whole weight out the door with his prompting.

 It wasn’t long before the lecture hall was quiet and empty, save for Mikhail himself.

 He had some paperwork he needed to complete, but he could just as easily take it home with him. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, the one that had ticked by at a snail’s pace for the last hour at least. The hour alone had felt like 12; glaringly cruel whenever one had sought comfort that the day’s end was approaching.

 The time read 3:37pm.

 He still had plenty of time before his engagement with a friend.

 He pulled his phone out of his breast pocket; the electronic seemed frighteningly fragile in his hands. It reminded him of how his students had stared at him when they first attended his classes. His size, stature and gruff, accented voice seemed to intimidate most of them when they first met him. Many had stared at his hands in particular; scarred and calloused from Mikhail’s years of work and abuse.

 Despite being a professor of literature, Mikhail seemed more the part of a hardened war veteran. It had been commented on many a time, mostly behind his back when they thought he couldn’t hear. Apparently, he scared people. Mikhail didn’t necessarily mind the thought, as being feared meant he had a modicum of respect from his students and fellow staff members.

 He tapped carefully at the little buttons on his phone, watching as the screen was lit up with numbers. Finally, he pressed the call button and brought it to his ear. He waited.

 One ring…

 Two rings…

 ‘Misha!’ He felt the air in his lungs release with his relief. He was always scared of the potential that his mother or sisters would not answer the phone. Too much had happened in their family history that he was relieved when another day went by without hassle.

 ‘мама.’

 ‘It is so good to hear from you, and so soon!’ She seemed happy. That was good. ‘You don’t normally call until you are on your way home.’

 ‘да, well, I ended class early. Students too tired to continue.’

 ‘That is a shame.’ He could almost hear the pout from the other end of the line. ‘You are very smart, Misha, and I know how you love to discuss your passion.’

 ‘I am not upset, мама. Just frustrated. Day has been going on for far too long.’ He said, running two, thick fingers across his eyes. He could feel the dry tears in the corners of his eyes, and felt an itch as he attempted to rub the sleep away.

 ‘Hm… I can agree with that. Yana and Bronislava have been out all day and…’ She trailed off, his mother seemed hesitant to speak. He felt concern rise and clench deeply at his heart.

 ‘What happened?’

 ‘It’s Zhanna…’

 ‘Is she hurt?!’ He felt panic rising, not bothering to grab his classwork but making a move to the door so he might hurry home. Or to the hospital. Or to wherever his sister might be.

 ‘нет, she claims she is not hurt, my son. Not physically.’ He slowed a little, felt the panic lessening, but he kept moving. He didn’t bother to lock the lecture hall behind him, as he expected the janitors would notice in their nightly routine.

 ‘I’ll come home.’

 ‘нет. Misha… I don’t think she wants to see anyone right now.’ He stopped, and instead of worry, he felt fury beginning to boil his blood. He kept his voice low so he couldn’t be heard.

 ‘I will crush him.’

 ‘Ah, Misha, you know we cannot be doing that.’

 ‘He broke Zhanna’s heart.’ His eyes glanced about for any other sign of life. Apart from his own class, that he had released early, all other classrooms were still shut tight and not a soul was in the halls. ‘Little man will pay.’

 ‘да, he will. However, we cannot be the ones to make him pay. Zhanna loved him, and this is more than just him breaking it off with her. Mikhail…’

 When she used his full name, it never meant anything good was going to be said next. He prepared himself, expecting to hear what he had heard before. The man Zhanna had taken an interest in thought her too loud, perhaps too overbearing. Maybe he was intimidated by a woman just as strong as he was and potentially taller too. Maybe an insult had been hurled her way; not uncommon but still unforgivable.

 Zhanna had always been a hopeless romantic, and had sought out someone that suited her well. Instead, she tended to scare even the kindest men away, and Mikhail just didn’t understand it. She was beautiful, strong-willed and loyal to a fault.

 ‘She told me Peter had been feeling unwell. She had gone to see him, taking some borscht with her to liven him up.’ Always a good choice. ‘Oh Misha…’

 ‘What happened?’ He repeated again.

 ‘He hurt her… He attacked her, Misha.’

 ‘что?!’ He felt himself seething, clenching his free hand in rapid succession, as if squeezing an invisible stress toy. ‘He dare hurt sister?!’

 ‘He didn’t do much, but she came home with bruises on her arms. He even bit her hard on the hand when he grabbed her.’

 CRUNCH!

 He didn’t mean to break the phone in his grip, but how dare someone do something so cruel to Zhanna! She who wore her heart open, on her sleeve for all to see. She was a sensitive soul who didn’t deserve the cruelty that wicked men had lashed out with.

 He didn’t have the time, or the ability, to call Dell and let him know their afternoon coffee was off. Dell knew not to worry if Mikhail was unable to come, the Texan always patient with the ups and downs the Garin family had faced over the years. He was a constant kindness in Mikhail’s life, always polite enough to just sit and listen when he could afford it.

 Dell would have to wait.

 He stormed quickly and with purpose through the halls towards the exit; those rare students and staff that he passed parted ways for him quickly when they noticed the oxen man move towards them. By the time he was in the parking lot, he nearly tore the door off the car itself, taking a seat within the tiny vehicle.

 It creased his body and forced his spine into a hunched position. He filled up the front window almost comically, but the deathly glare in his eyes shut up any laughs from onlookers. He reversed, peeling out and into the middle of the lot, and then begun his drive home.

 Through it all, the radio was tuned to the classical station; the fine sound of an orchestra helped to soothe his anger, but not deplete it entirely. The violins, by far his favourite of the instruments, almost massaged the pulsing, burning ache in his head with their lulling choir. It helped, if only a little, and if only for a short time.

 As Mikhail continued his drive deeper and deeper into city streets, he started to notice an unusual hustle amongst the pedestrians. There was an unending ring of sirens as police cars and ambulances cut through the traffic, and officers attempted to redirect it down different streets.

 Through it all, there was a sudden cacophony of gunshots, and screams ripped through the pedestrians as they took to the road. They hurried between the crawling automobiles, banging on windows and attempting to open doors in their haste to escape whatever was happening. One woman had latched onto Mikhail’s own car, a large, red gash across her cheek. Her lip was bleeding and her hands were scratching at his passenger door desperately, creating a fine line of white scratches across the metal.

 He went to unlock the door, to allow her safety, when another person (man or woman, Mikhail couldn’t tell) half tackled her to the floor. He opened his own door, about to pull the figure off of her. That was, until they turned their head, revealing their chin and mouth stained with blood, teeth tight around a piece of flesh. The woman was still gasping, reaching out to him, eyes half-lidded as sleep threatened to take her.

 ‘Help…’ He could hardly hear her, especially after that creature suddenly turned on him. He leapt back, in time for the creature to miss planting its own teeth in his arm. He gripped the back of its head, large fingers tangled through its mess of hair, and planted its face to the concrete with as much force as he could muster. It was like a watermelon was crushed under his weight, as the head came apart with ease.

 Blood ran down his hand and wrist. He looked down at the woman, who now laid there, unmoving. Beyond the traffic, a crowd had formed of people racing to escape the chaos. More gunshots. More screaming.

 Mikhail didn’t return to his car. At the rate the traffic was moving, he wouldn’t be able to get out in time before more of those creatures came. He abandoned his vehicle, and turned to follow the road out of the city.

 He had to get home.

 And he had to get there soon!

[gish]

The oddities are selling out quickly in the GISHPorium. It’s time to panic! And when you do, make sure to grab a Panic Button to help calm you down... Because it’s almost sold out, too! bit.ly/GISHrelics

(Video shamelessly stolen from Twitter’s @AKF_Winchester)

[beanie-beebo-writes]

Call for Action

Series Summary: You finally get your dream job, but it comes with a cost.

Warnings: Description of panic attack

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Beep beep beep beep.

You groaned and threw your hand blindly over your alarm clock. If there was one sound you hated the most, it had to be that thing. You would throw it out the window if you could, only you would sleep through the most important day in your life so far: the jumpstart of your career.

At the thought, you dragged yourself upright and looked over at the time. You had been dreaming of this day since you were a little kid, there was no way in hell you would miss it. You still remembered how you and your dad used to play pretend practically every afternoon, just like all the other kids. But with you, everything had to be just right. The stuffed animals needed a place, the lines needed to be said, the scenery had to be just right. And even from those days, your father always told you how that attitude would blow someone away, how your name would be in lights. Today was that day.

You started your morning with a creamy coffee (something you told yourself you would never reduce yourself to) and a packed omelette. By waking up several minutes earlier you had some time to sit and reflect for the day, something you had always enjoyed every morning.

You were nervous as all hell, but as your dad kept telling you, you'd be okay. He was your main support in this whacked out experience called life, as your mother had estranged him way too long ago to remember. If there was an event for school or a big test coming up, he would always be rooting for you by your side. You couldn't think of a time where he ever wasn't there.

You had moved from your hometown up to Vancouver, hoping your head wouldn't misguided you up in the clouds. You hadn't felt this nervous since the interview, which you somehow landed. Your dad, as always, said it was due to your confidence and goal-setting values. You liked to think otherwise.

Your mental health made your life a living hell for as long as you could remember. You never had a terrible childhood, nothing to complain about. Yet your head decided to create problems of its own. Maybe it was your grade that never looked at you right, or the teacher who gave you one bad grade that one year. You never knew what it was.

Your stomach churned anxiously; you looked down at your half eaten omelette and decided to save it for lunch later. You finished what was left of your coffee and got yourself ready for the day ahead of you.

By the time you had finished up and driven to work, you noticed you had just enough time to get where you needed to be. You were only lucky you weren't needed earlier at a hair or makeup trailer as other coworkers would. The lot surprisingly wasn't as bustling with people as you first thought; only an occasional PA running across where they were needed.

You arrived at the main office, where you assumed you would collect today's schedule. You were greeted by a stocky man wearing a casual striped button down.

"Hello, you must be (Y/N). I'm Paul, I'm a receptionist here." He said.

"Hi Paul, nice to meet you." You said.

"I assume you didn't get the memo that our schedules are usually sent by email, but that's okay. We always have a physical copy available up front too, for PR." He continued.

"Oh, thank you! I'm glad you let me know, I rarely check my email these days anymore." You commented.

"It's no problem! Between you and me, I rarely do myself. So feel free to stop here every morning for a copy." He said with a wink.

You chuckled and gave him a genuine smile before leading yourself to sit in the waiting area. Looking over the schedule, you felt your stomach clench. You were no stranger to long shifts, but this was a long haul you weren't used to. You instantly felt flushed and knew you needed to find a bathroom, fast. 

"Excuse me Paul, but where is your nearest bathroom?" You asked.

"Down the hall to the right." He said from the front desk.

You quickly thanked him and sped walked to the bathroom. You locked the door and put a hand over your mouth to try and suppress the sob. As always, overthinking would leave you jobless. You never lasted long before going to the next job; just long enough to get unemployment. 

Suddenly, you felt warm and unable to breathe. You fanned yourself with a schedule before hearing a knock on the door. You looked over your face (which was red and blotchy), took a shuddering deep breath, and opened the door to see a very handsome young man. If you couldn't breathe before, you certainly wouldn't be able to now. His blond hair and green eyes practically sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know this bathroom was occupied." The man said.

You cleared your throat and struggled to speak.

"No um, that's- yeah. Do you need to use it?" You asked.

"If you still need it, I can find another bathroom. It's okay, really." The man said.

"No!" You caught yourself for being too loud. "I was just finishing up, you can use it." 

The man looked at you once more before entering the bathroom you just came out of. You felt yourself take a breath before breaking your eyesight away from the door. The panic attack you were just immersed in was completely gone, and you knew it wasn't just because of the gorgeous man that just happened to cross your path. Well, not entirely. He just made you feel calm inside despite all the butterflies bouncing around in your stomach.

Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad after all.

--------------------------

"And.. scene!" You yelled out to the set.

The buzzers all rang and you went forward to one of the side actors for the scene.

"Pam, that was incredible. Thank you. You as well Celine." You said. "Everyone can take a lunch break and meet back in an hour."

The day had been going by relatively well, quelling any anxious thoughts that had come up earlier. The actors and actresses had no flubs in their acting, crew even worked together well to your surprise. Everyone seemed to be like a large family here, which was usually unheard of in the industry. It put you at ease knowing everyone could work together this well.

You headed over to the lunch tables with your half of an omelet from this morning, not expecting a full-out food service to be made available to you. You shrugged and decided to finish the omelette you made first before digging into what they had in store. Just as you began to eat, you noticed the attractive man from earlier was making his way towards your table. 

"Hey, I saw you earlier right?" He asked.

You nodded as you took a bite into your omelette.

"Is it okay if I sit here? I figured you could use some company."

You swallowed your food before speaking. "Yeah sure, that's fine."

There was a brief pause before you spoke again. 

"I don't believe I introduced myself to you. I'm (Y/N), one of the new directors." You said, reaching out a clean hand to shake.

"Hi (Y/N), Jensen. I'm an actor here." He said, shaking your hand.

"How long have you been working here?" You asked.

"Since day one; pretty well-seasoned." Jensen joked.

"I guess so. Hey, maybe you could show me the ropes later?" You asked.

He smiled, sending warmth throughout your body. "Sure, not a problem."

You both paused to continue eating for another moment. You couldn't help but steal a look at him before looking back at your food. He was so nice to look at. Even without makeup, you could bet he looked just as beautiful. It was the eyes that drew you in. But as you looked more, you noticed some other features. He had freckles lightly dusted across his nose, barely visible with the foundation he wore. His eyelashes were so long and full, as if he wore false ones. But you knew better, they were real. You also caught him doing the same thing as you moments later. Giving you a look over before returning back to his food, not wanting to be impolite. It was sweet, charming even.

"I wanted to ask, and it's okay if you don't want to answer, were you okay earlier?" Jensen asked, breaking you from your thoughts.

You hesitated briefly, wondering if you could trust him. You didn't see a reason not to, but you put up a wall, just to be safe. After all, a pretty face could mean trouble.

"That? Yeah was just overwhelmed with emotion was all. I got lucky to land a job like this." You said.

"Alright, just checking. If you ever need anyone though, just remember I'm always here, even though we just met." Jensen said. 

"Oh, thank you." You said, taken aback.

"You're welcome." He said. "And you're right, by the way." 

He paused to sip his drink.

"About what?" You asked.

"Being lucky to work here. Believe me, you'll love it here. We'll all make you feel at home in no time." Jensen said.

"I'm starting to see it already, I noticed the crew earlier." You said.

Just as you began wrapping up the conversation, another tall and handsome man stopped by the table with some lunch.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked Jensen.

"Just getting acquainted with one of our new directors. (Y/N), this is my best friend Jared. Jared, (Y/N)." Jensen said.

You both shook hands and said your hellos before Jared slid his butt next to Jensen.

"Is it alright if I sit here? Sorry, I should have asked first." Jared said.

"No, no it's fine. You're not bothering anyone." You said.

"Awesome!" Jared said. "So, are you a new new director, or just a new gig?"

"Actually, this is my first gig as a director." You said.

"No way, how cool!" Jared said.

"Yeah, it's actually always been a dream of mine." You admitted.

"Well, good for you. That's incredible!" Jensen said.

"What he said." Jared said. 

"Thanks." You said with a smile. "Just hope it works out well for me."

"I think you'll be just fine." Jared said. "Jensen told you about how we are around here?" 

"Yeah, like family?" You said.

"Exactly." Jared said.

A notification went off on Jared's phone and he laughed obnoxiously before typing quickly. Jensen peered over in curiosity

"Dude, look what Misha posted." Jared said.

Jensen looked at Jared's phone before joining in the laughter. Jared without warning turned the phone over towards you. You giggled to see a picture of a man of similar age putting lipstick on his left nipple with the caption: So 

@tumblr just officially banned “adult content” including something called, “female-presenting nipples.” I can only assume my nipples will now sadly be banned there. But hopefully @twitter and  @instagram will let them stand.

"Is he an actor too?" You asked.

"Yep, he won't be here for about another week though. Lucky bastard." Jared said.

"Looks like I'm in for a ride with you three, huh?" You asked.

Jared smirked mischievously. "Oh you have no idea." He said.

------------

Jared wasn't kidding when he said you were in for a ride with the three of them. Later on that day, you finally had the  chance to take him off his word. The schedule had them booked for the rest of the day alongside you. Which you didn't find odd finding out they were the main characters. Only you were figuring they booked more time on purpose for them than they needed, just so the schedule allowed. At first, you expected some slip ups and laughed it off with them. Then it seemed like you couldn't get them through the scene at all, which was beyond frustrating. 

Around the fifth take, you began to panic and excused yourself to the eating area for a quick break to regain your composure. To your luck, you were followed.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The voice startled you and you turned around, snots and all. Great, it was all over for you. You didn't answer, hoping Jensen would go away and leave you be until the next scene. But he wouldn't budge; he sat down next to you.

"Clearly not… What's bothering you?" He asked.

"Remember, you're the director. You need to tell him." You thought to yourself.

"It's you and Jared. I can't make it through these scenes without you two fucking around, and we need to get things moving. It's a bit much." You said aloud.

Jensen chuckled, confusing you. 

"That's what's getting at you? (Y/N), Jared and I do this stuff all the time. We only do it to lighten the mood or welcome someone into the family. If it bothers you, I'll tell him to stop." Jensen explained.

"Really, you'd do that? I'd appreciate it. It's my first day on the job and I'd hate to look incompetent." You said.

"Of course. And you don't look that way at all, these things just happen. I've been watching your work so far, and I think you're doing great." Jensen said.

You sniffled and wiped away your tears. "Thanks Jensen, seriously."

"You're welcome. Now what do you say we get back on the playing field there, champ?" Jensen said.

You chuckled and agreed. For the rest of the day, there were no more jokes when the cameras were rolling. It was kind of what you had expected for your first day. No one was cold to one another, just professional and friendly. 

Later on after some advice from another fellow director, you got in your car and drove home to your small apartment. You knew there were going to be some flubs and that it wouldn't be perfect, but you finally had your dream job with a once in a lifetime crew. You barely had gotten to know everyone, but you knew they would have your back if you needed it. And that's all that mattered.

When you went to bed that night, you sighed in relief. Who would have thought that a year ago you were at a dead-end job, dreaming of where you were right now. Your stomach clenched again at all of the anxieties everything would probably bring. You just hoped it would be all worth it in the end.

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 6: 7x01

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

23 September, 2021

7x01: Meet the New Boss

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

Original air date: 23 September, 2011

Plot Synopsis:

Castiel believes he is the new God and becomes obsessed with power. Sam, Dean, and Bobby try to find a way to stop him before he explodes with power, even if that means talking to Death himself.

Features:

Queer-friendly genocidal maniac Godstiel, the beginning of Sam’s hallucination arc, Dean’s cute little mechanic coveralls, some light breaking and entering, the original Death and his love of pickle chips, Leviathan reveal.

My Thoughts:

Hooo baby a lot happens in this episode. I have a feeling that early and late Stacked is going to be absolutely bonkers and mid-seasons Stacked is going to be…. either torturous or boring. We’ll see. Check in with me again at the end of October when I’ve been watching 15 episodes a week on top of my full time job.

It is so funny to me that the way they show that Godstiel is “evil” is having him kill the leaders of hate groups and healing leprosy patients. That church scene is sooo choice and the stained glass moment fucks extremely hard.

Some fun accidental foreshadowing of the Equalizer in season 14 and 15 when they’re talking about what to do about Cas in the garage and Bobby says, “What we've got to do is hunt the son of bitch. Unfortunately, I lost my God guns.” I don’t have anything insightful to say about that I just think it’s funny that they later introduced a God gun. I also find it very funny that in Season 5 Dean says about God, “Try New Mexico, I hear he’s on a tortilla” and in this episode Bobby is talking about looking for signs of Cas and says “Miracles, mass visions, trench coat on a tortilla?”. Like father, like son. I love them.

Had to pause the stream and rewind like 5 times but from what I can tell the sticky note on the spell from Crowley says “Bye forever you fools. Kisses, C”. Crowley maybe best character on Supernatural?

The three of them doing the death-binding ritual in this rich couple’s house is so good. Was that always the plan? Were they just going to quickly summon actual Death into these people’s home while they were asleep? Just bring the lightning thing to Bobby’s panic room or something. Leave the random white rich people out of it, the only thing they did wrong was have too much money and questionable taste in decor.

Also in that same scene, when Cas and Death are talking face to face and Dean is out of focus but visually between them… I don’t have the brain for meta at the moment but Dean either protecting Cas or leading him to Death via confession…. Waaah.

Is it just me or does Death confirm the existence of aliens? Like sentient aliens? “Maybe I should spend my effort on a better planet”.

I LOVE Sam’s hallucination arc. It’s good fucking writing to have him be legitimately traumatized by hell and the “torture” of his own brain making him doubt reality is genuinely scary to me in the abstract sense. I don’t know, I just read A Complete Kingdom for the first time so it’s working for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched this era of Supernatural so I might be wrong but I feel like this is one of the last interesting plotlines that Sam gets, which is a bummer. I just remember really loving everything to do with the hallucinations and the cut on his palm.

Also in the (jesus christ) ten years since this episode aired, I’ve watched The Good Place like three times so I do love that hallucination-lucifer’s (are we still doing HaLucifer?) whole deal is basically the plot of an objectively better-written show.

There is a LOT going on in the last scene. For one thing it’s even more destiel-y than I remember. The whole “Is he breathing? Maybe angels don’t need to breathe” thing, the sad fucking piano that kicks in as Bobby says that he’s gone and the camera is close up on Dean, the shaky little way that he says “Damn it. Cas, you child”. The arm caress when he helps him up. That little reunion is filmed so that Bobby might as well not be there at all. Absolutely insane that we were YEARS from the market research here.

I can’t end this little ramble-y review without screaming about Misha’s acting, especially the leviathan button at the end of the episode. He’s so creepy and obviously Not Cas in that moment. Society if leviathan were That for the entire season rather than what we all know is coming.

In the Secret Good Supernatural that lives in my head, Godstiel lasts MINIMUM half a season and the degradation of his vessel and the creeping in of leviathan were a slow burn issue that culminates at the mid-season finale. And then the other half of the finale is Misha acting completely deranged as a vessel for leviathan before walking into the lake and giving us some solid grief arc episodes for Dean to wrap it up.

I love this episode but it loses points for Dean watching hentai. I hate it and I'm miserable and he needs headphones.

Notable/Kickass Lines:

“What a brave little ant you are.”

“Annoying little protozoa, aren’t they?”

“I am not petty. I’m punishing the woman who causes poverty and despair in my name. I put your needs first, don’t you understand?”

“Cas is -- he's gone. He's dead. We run the show now. Ah. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.7

IMdB rating: 9.0

In conclusion: I really thought that my 1 hour lunch break would be enough time to watch the episode and write this post and now I’m committing wage theft. Fuck.

<< Last Day | Next Day >>

[spacesuitsforemergency]

Maybe a Sleighf of Hand prompt if you're willing?

Undercover was never really Eugene’s forte, as someone who has many enemies and easily recognizable eyes it was near impossible, but with some contacts and a shave to the face he looked like a completely different person. Not to mention, his girlfriend was a master of disguise and amazing at makeup, so when he looked in the mirror when she was done, he hardly recognized himself.

Him and Sadie were assigned a mission to go undercover at some government establishment to gather intel, and thankfully Eugene could play the cocky businessman role extremely well. While he charmed the executives and made conversation with the front desk ladies, he snatched security badges and handed them off to Sadie, who would use them to get past closed off areas and get the intel they needed.

So while Sadie was typing away on a computer and uploading content onto the hard drive, it was Eugene’s job to make sure all attention was on him. And what better person to do that than Eugene? Of course, that also meant risking the mission because he was bound to slip up, because he IS still Eugene LeBeau.

“And may I just say, Mrs. Danforth, that blouse looks especially lovely on you.” Eugene winked at one of the front desk ladies.

“Oh, you’re too kind!” The old lady smiled at him.

“Sir, who are you?” Some dude in a fancy tuxedo and dark sunglasses on asked. Shit, security.

“Uhhh I’m Edmund…Bartholomew!”

“Edmund Bartholomew?” The security guard raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “You don’t sound British.”

“Why, of course I do sir!” Eugene spoke, now with a British accent. “It comes and goes.”

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to come with me.”

“SADIE! COVERS BLOWN!” Eugene screamed down the hallway as he slipped away from the security guard. “SADES HURRY IT UP IN THERE!”

“YOU BLEW IT ALREADY?! I GOT BARELT ANYTHING!” Sadie shouted at him as she ran out and grabbed his hand, leading him down a hallway as security was being called on them.

“ONLY CAUSE THAT GUY INSISTED I WAS BRITISH!”

“WHAT?!”

“Wait, do we HAVE to run down the stairs?” Eugene complained.

“YES EUGENE, WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO RUN DOWN THE STAIRS.”

“Can’t we take the elevator?”

“You want to take the elevator in a police chase?”

“Of course.”

“…fine but HURRY!”

Sadie shoved her boyfriend into the elevator as soon as it opened, then smacked the close door button once she got inside. She prepared to fight security once they got downstairs, meanwhile Eugene was busy fixing his hair in the elevator mirrors.

“You know, we could summon Misha now.” Eugene suggested.

“We can handle this.” Sadie shook her head, before adding sarcastically. “Are you enjoying your elevator ride?”

“Yes, very much, thank you.” He grinned. Just then the elevator jerked, making the couple grab the handles on the elevator to steady themselves. “That can’t be good.”

“Euge-“

Sadie was interrupted when the elevator fell, she heard a scream but she couldn’t tell if it was from her or her boyfriend because of her panic. The elevator eventually stopped quickly, making them slam onto the floor.

“…maybe we should’ve taken the stairs.” Eugene groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head.

“You think?!” Sadie snapped as she too sat up, also rubbing her throbbing head as the lights flickered and went out. “Great.”

“Yknow this lighting is perfect for us to get…comfortable~” Eugene said, and Sadie didn’t need to see him to know he had a stupid but charming smirk on his face.

“Not now! We’re gonna get arrested as soon as the fire department shows up to save us! You just HAD to be lazy and take the elevator!”

“Um, you followed me in here so-“

“EUGENE-“

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 6

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!Jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chapter Warnings*** VERY BIG TRIGGER WARNING!! This chapter contains descriptions of injuries and heavy implications of Male Rape! Please know I don’t take this sort of thing lightly, and I was gentle as possible in the descriptions and implications as I could be, but still getting the story across as well!! Hints of mental disturbance, language probably, kidnapping, Angst, overall this one is pretty heavy.

Word Count: 2790

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jared x Reader, OFC Justin X Reader, OFC Steve x Reader

A/N: Anyway, all mistakes are mine, please don’t copy my work, Feedback is golden. If you want to be added to the series tag list, or my tag list just let me know! I hope you enjoy this one. After this chapter things tend to start to pick up a little.

Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

It had been three days since Jensen had been to the studio. 

Steve had tried calling him but got no answer. Steve was starting to get worried, therefore he was making sure everyone in the office was on edge because that was just Steve. 

"Maybe he changed his mind," you mumble, looking through the recordings that had already been done, and checking to make sure all the copyrights for the songs he wanted to do were sent off, and ready just in case he did decide to show back up.

"He can't change his mind! He's under contract to finish this album here in this studio," Steve gritted out, going through Jensen's paperwork looking for another contact to try. 

"Damn Steve, you put that shit on lock didn't you?" Justin said, spinning his chair in circles like an overgrown kid, not really concerned as to whether or not Jensen showed back up. He didn’t seem to like Jensen all that much anyway.

Steve turned to give him his best bitchface. "This album could put our studio on the map,"  he said coldly. “We need this guy to finish this album.”

Then something dawns on you, something you had totally forgotten about. You had Misha's number. 

You were going to send him a donation to his charity, and while he was here he gave it to you so that he could text you the address to send the money in to. 

"I have Misha's number, try him, maybe he knows a way to contact him," you glancing over your shoulder, and Steve looks at you like he wants to kill you for waiting until now to let that little piece of information out. 

Pulling out your phone and text him the phone number, and as soon as his phone buzzed with the number he was calling it, walking into the office, and leaving you and Justin to sit in silence on the other side of the door, listening to see if you could hear something. All the two of you seemed to make out was a muffled conversation that honestly sounded like it was very one-sided, with Misha doing the majority of the talking.

After about 15 minutes Steve walked back into the main recording room pale, and a little nauseated, flopping down in the chair next to you. 

"What I'm about to tell you guys doesn't leave this room," Steve said, looking between Justin and yourself. Your heart jumped speed. You didn't like the way he said that. 

"Three days ago Jensen was forcibly taken from Jared's bar when he was helping a bartender close up. They just found him today. He's at St. David's South Austin Medical Center," Steve looked down at the ground, and then back up at you two like he was unsure whether or not to tell you both the rest of the story. 

"Is he okay?" you asked. 

You weren’t exactly sure why your heart fell to your feet. Your hand ideally ran across the hand he touched just a few days ago taking his coffee from you.

"Was it some crazy super fan?" Justin asked, looking at Steve like he was bullshitting the two of you. 

Steve turned a little greener. 

"No, it wasn't a fan apparently,” Steve took a deep breath in order to settle himself.  

“Jensen and Jennifer hooked up a little over a week ago. Apparently, things didn’t go exactly the way she’d hoped, so when she got home she told her brother that Jensen had raped her. He and a few of his buddies took Jensen, and for three days kept him locked in a hotel... Returning the favor," Steve stopped talking, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes tight. Taking a deep breath to stave off the urge to throw up, or scream because he felt like doing both.

You fought to keep your breakfast down. The room seemed to be spinning. Your heart broke for him. Why you didn't know. What the hell? Why do you care so much? He was nothing but a complete and total ass to you! He hated you! Still, you couldn’t shake the gut-wrenching feeling deep down inside of you no matter how hard you tried to.

---------------------------------------

Later that night you paced around your apartment with Steve's words ringing in your head. You couldn't imagine what Jensen had gone through over the past three days. It made you sick to your stomach every time you thought about it. 

Grabbing your purse you decide, probably against your better judgment, to head to the hospital. You had to see him. You didn't understand why, you had to see that he was okay. 

So now you found yourself walking through the halls of the hospital looking for a nurse to ask which room they were keeping Jensen in. Holding your studio ID tight in your hand, hoping it was enough for them to let you into his room. This late at night you would think there would be more nurses roaming the halls, but things were still and quiet, not much movement at all.

You were just about to give up. You had just about walked the whole hospital, and no one seemed to know where he was. Making your way back to the second-floor elevators you pressed the button impatiently, wondering if maybe they moved him to a different hospital, or if he just asked people to not come to visit him right now, so they were keeping his location a secret or something. 

It was stupid to come here in the first place. Jensen hated your guts. He wouldn't want to see you, so why the hell were you even here? That’s what your brain was screaming at you, and you had just about resided to the fact that it was right, and you were being an idiot by coming here.

Annoyed that the elevator was taking so long to open you were about to turn to take the stairs when you heard the familiar ding of the doors opening. Looking up you come face to... well... mid-chest... with Jared. 

"Y/N!" Jared said, wrapping you in a bone-crushing hug. He looked exhausted. The amount of puffiness and redness around his eyes told you he had been crying. "What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see you standing there. 

"Misha told us what happened. I came to see Jensen, but I can't find his room. No one seems to know where he is, or at least they don't want to tell me," you tell him, embarrassed that you even came you stared down at your feet.

Jared draped a long arm around your shoulders turning you around and headed toward the end of the hallway with you, stopping in front of room 241 he turned to face you. 

"Y/N, I want to tell you what you're going to see in there. It's not pretty." 

You took a deep breath. Why the hell were you all in your feels right now?

"What did they do to him, Jared?" you asked, almost afraid of the answer. Jared swallowed hard, looking like he was about to start crying again. 

"They jumped him in my bar while he was waiting on the new guy I hired to close up. They tied him up, knocked him out, and dragged him out of the bar. The rest we are guessing. He hasn't said a word since the ambulance driver picked him up on the side of the road where they dumped him when they were done with him. According to the doctors, it looks like he was tied down to something, then was repeatedly violated. That’s all we know, and he’s not telling." 

You held the vomit back that threatened in the back of your throat. Both you and Jared shivered involuntarily.

"When I first saw him he was covered in blood, and what looked like vomit. They had to sedate him to clean it all off of him and do the examination. Every time someone touches him he freaks out. They couldn't even get him as clean as they wanted because he was fighting so hard. From what I understand they cut the twist ties off of his wrist in the ambulance. They said he was just dumped completely naked, and still tied. Some dick truck driver saw him, and called the ambulance, but didn’t have the decency to stop and help him. Just kept on driving.”

Jared watched as you tried to compose yourself, the flood of emotions that were hitting you as he told you how he was found was more than you thought it would be for you. 

"You sure you wanna go in there?" he asked you when you finally could breathe properly.”I get it if you don’t.”  

"Yeah. I need to see him." 

Jared never questioned, he just shook his head and opened the door. 

At first, you didn't even see him lying in the bed. It just looked like a heap of covers in the middle of the bed. Moving around the bed you finally found the top of his head. 

He was laying on his side with his back to the door, the covers pulled all the way up almost over his head. 

"Jay...  Y/N's here to see you," Jared said, walking around the bed first. 

The heap of cover never moved. Jared looked at you apologetically. 

You slowly made your way around the bed, afraid of what you were going to see. He looked so fragile lying there in that bed with monitor, wires and different IV's coming out from under the cover. There wasn't a lot of bruise on his face. Especially around his mouth. It was bruised all the way around his lips to almost his left ear. His lips were swollen and cracked.  You shuddered at the thought of what might have caused that. 

The rest of him was well covered, but for a scratched up hand sticking out from under the cover by his face. 

It was his eyes that got to you the most. 

He never made eye contact with you or Jared. He just stared at the wall between the two of you blankly. No light there at all. No movement. A very evident “the light's are on, but no one is home” look. 

You couldn't stop the cascade tears that were falling down your face. They had broken something deep inside him, and you didn’t have to be a doctor to see it. 

"Physically the injuries aren't permanent. It's the mental damage the doctors are worried about," Jared said, sitting on the small sofa next to his friend's bed, watching him closely. 

Jensen just continued to look at the wall as if the two of you weren’t even in the room, and no one was talking about him less than three feet away from his bed. 

There was a picture of him and his kids by the bed, no doubt brought there by Jared. He was smiling in the photo. He looked so happy. So contradictory to the broken man laying there in front of you. The longer you stood there you felt like your heart shattered into a million pieces. 

Everything in you wanted to pick him up and just hold him until he was okay again, even though you knew that him being “okay” again wouldn’t ever be that easy.

"Did he really do what they say he did to Jennifer?" you turned and asked Jared, feeling like you were going to be sick again looking at the dirt and dried blood under his fingernails. 

You tried to keep your mind from wondering whether the blood was his, or his attackers. You weren’t very successful.

"I don't know, and I'm not trying to justify anything he may have done, but do you think he would have deserved this? I was there when he asked her to dinner with him. She was definitely more than willing to show up at his house wearing next to nothing." 

He was right of course. No one deserved what Jensen had been through. 

You sat down in the chair next to his bed. Jensen was still staring at the wall like he didn't even know the two of you were in there. Reflexively you reached for his hand, wanting to comfort him in some way, but he jerked it under the cover before you even got close, never making a sound. 

Even though he didn’t make a sound, he slowly looked up at you. Jared moved closer, not sure what he was going to do, but hoping that seeing you would pull him out of whatever mental cage he had enclosed himself in. 

He did nothing. He stared at you for maybe a whole minute. A single tear slipping down his face then looked back at the wall. The blank look never once leaving his eyes. 

Nurses came in checking the monitors while you and Jared sat next to Jensen talking, trying to avoid the subject of Jensen's injuries in front of him. Neither of you wanted to upset him. Jensen never moved, still just staring at the wall. 

Finally, looking up at the clock you saw that it was close to 1 in the morning. Rubbing your face in frustration because even though you knew it was late you didn't want to leave him. He had dozed on and off while the two of you sat there talking, but he seemed to be awake right then. The amount of drugs they were giving him to manage his pain level probably didn't help his current state either. Still, you couldn't imagine the physical pain he was in. You didn't even want to think about what was going on in his head. Still, it was late, and you needed to let Jared get some rest. 

"It's getting late, I need to let you rest. I'll come by tomorrow after work if that's okay," you tell Jared, reaching down to grabbing your purse. When you leaned down to grab your purse you had put your hand on the bed to brace yourself.  It was something you did without thinking. Just a natural movement.

So lightly you almost didn't notice it you feel a calloused hand lay softly on top of yours. Looking up you see Jensen had reached over and grabbed your hand. Both yourself and Jared held your breath. For the first time, Jensen slowly made full eye contact with you, and not like he was looking through you with the same blank look on his face. 

It was eerie and unnatural. Even though he was physically there, and probably knew vaguely where he was, he seemed to mentally be millions of miles away.

You went to take your hand away just to see what he would do, testing the waters kind of. When you did he tightened his grip on your hand, holding it in place. 

"Jay," Jared said, trying to get his friend to look at him. 

Jensen never spoke, but he did look at him with tears falling from his deep green eyes. It almost looked like he was on the edge of panic, but wasn’t quite mentally there enough to fall over that edge. 

"Are you in pain?" Jared asked. 

Jensen did nothing. 

"Do you not want Y/N to leave?" he asked Jensen again. 

Jensen did nothing, just stared back and forth between Jared and yourself. 

Closing his eyes he slipped back into his drug-induced sleep with a death grip still on your hand.

For just a moment you considered staying, you did stay for another hour, Jensen never moved again, just slept. Honestly, it's what his body needed. To rest. So you gently slipped your hand out of his, gave Jared a hug, and your number, telling him to call you if he needed anything, and made your way to the door, letting both men get some rest. 

When you finally got back to your car you sat there completely broken-hearted for the man lying in that hospital bed.

You hadn't realized it till right now. Seeing him so broken had brought it right in the front of your attention. 

You didn't hate him like you thought. 

You felt something else entirely. 

This changes things.

For you anyway. Jensen had a long road ahead of him. Last you knew he hated you. Starting your car you wiped away the tears that were still falling from your own eyes. Praying to whoever was listening that you didn't get your heartbroken and that he could recover from this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[fanficcollection]

Tumblr-Girl (Part 13)

Tumblr-Girl (Part 13)

I don’t own the picture of Misha, if it’s yours please tell me.

Pairing: Misha Collins x reader Summary: the convention Word Count: ~2400 Warnings: just a few little mentions of panic attacks, angst, depression, mental illness and self doubt

Notes: I’d be glad for your feedback!

Part 1 Masterlist  

Your POV

It was real. You were here. You dreamt of it since you realized that such conventions existed. It was real. It was real. It was real. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t dreaming. That all this was really happening. There was a smile tugged on your face when you went to the entrance,  lots of people were in a queue, many dressed up as monsters, which on some point were on the show. You saw the legendary scarecrow, vampires, werewolfes, and so many more. Most of the costumes were incredible. You couldn’t look away. You just wore a normal black T-shirt and jeans. Nothing special, you didn’t have the time to think about a costume  and even if you loved the show, you didn’t like cosplay that much. Next to the nearly perfect costumes of the other people you felt a bit out of place, maybe you would buy a fan-shirt or something on the merch-table later.

You didn’t really know how everything worked, so you tried to figure it out by watching the crowd. Suddenly somebody tapped on your shoulder “Everything alright? You seem a bit lost.” Somebody asked you. You jumped when you felt the touch and turned around “Whoa. Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you” the girl said at your reaction. She had a heartwarming smile on her lips and you tried to smile back “No, no problem, I was a bit sunk in my thoughts. I can’t realize that all of this is real.” You replied. “It’s my first convention and I have kinda no plan what to do. I read some information on the internet, but it’s all bigger and a lot more confusing than I had imagined” The girl laughed and nodded “If you want I can show you around, I was at conventions a few times and I know it can be overwhelming for somebody who hasn’t experienced one before.” “Yeah, that sounds nice.” You said, the people here were – like Dmitri said – more than friendly. “So, first of all. I’m Rebecca or you can call me Beck, if you want.” She introduced herself, again you nodded, but you didn’t say anything. You were sunk in your thoughts. “Yeah… I don’t wanna be curious, but if we will be hanging out together, it would be nice to know how I can call you.” she stated laughing. “Oh.. yes, sorry. I’m so sorry. My name is Y/N. ” you said embarrassed, you felt your head turning red and you looked at your feet. You were not able to manage the easiest talk. You felt tears well up in your eyes and you tried not to show your shame. But Rebecca seemed not to care about that gaffe and slowly started to make her way to the entrance.  “Alright, so Y/N, you got your ticket?” she asked when she pulled her ticket out of her bag. You showed her your ticket, which you held in your hand since you were standing here. “Good. Therefore, you have to check in over there. I got a different category, I have to check in here, but I’ll wait for you inside. Okay?” she looked at you when you didn’t react immediately “It’s not that difficult, you can do that!” she encouraged you and shot you a little smile. “See you inside, Y/N”. Rebecca turned around and lined up at the entrance.

You were completely lost in your thoughts when you looked for the right line to enter the convention, there was so much going on, you were not sure if you could do that. Not for an entire weekend. When you found the right line, it all went very fast, one of the workers looked at your ticket, nodded and shove you into the room. It was a big hall, you didn’t know how to find Beck in this crowd, you looked around – nothing. Maybe she just walked away, she didn’t even know you, why should she wait for someone like you to show you around, she could just enjoy the convention on her own. She probably even knew some of the people here.

“Y/N!” somebody shouted, you turned around and tried to spot where it came from “Y/N!” you couldn’t see anybody until Beck stood in front of you “Hey. y/n. Are you ready? I know, there are many people, I hope that’s not a big problem for you. I’m afraid you have to roll with it.” You did not know what to say. Honestly, you imagined far less chaos, and far less people. “I think I’ll be okay, it’s just a little different to what I expected.” You told Beck and she smiled. “But the people are really nice. You will love them,” she said “come here, I’ll show you around.” You went with her into the building and tried to remember the locations, but soon you lost orientation and just followed Beck. “Are you here alone? Or are you meeting other people at the con?” Beck asked you, while you were standing in line at the restrooms. “I’m alone; I got the ticket from a friend, who couldn’t attend the con.” You explained, “That’s nice of him” Beck answered, “I’d like to have a friend like that.” She laughed.

Both of you decided to eat something before the program on the stage started, after Beck showed you around. Just after this little part you were really exhausted. “I don’t know if I can do the whole convention.” you said and Beck looked at you “I understand. It’s a lot. The people are so passionate and there are really a lot of them. Maybe you should pick a few items on the programme, which you really want to see and keep it steady the rest of the day. It can’t be fun if you are struggling most of the time.” She said and you thought about it. “Yeah.. that sounds like a plan. Wait, I think I got a program with me…” you pulled out a piece of paper, you printed the program at home, you wanted to be prepared for your first (and how it looked at the moment maybe last) convention.

“You should really watch Rob, Rich and Matt, they are so cute and funny and there won’t be too many people because there are Photo Ops are at the same time.” Beck suggested and you agreed “Yeah.. I don’t have a ticket for a photo-op so that sounds good.”   You marked the R2M on your plan. “I really want to Jared, Jensen and Misha at least once. But I know their panels are probably the most crowded events at the whole weekend.” Beck nodded. “But they are really worth it.” She said. “Yeah.. I guess I’ll try at least one of their panels, maybe I can do better than I expect now.” You looked at the plan and circled a J2 panel. Beck looked at your plan “That looks good to me. So if you stay with your plan, your first panel starts in about two hours. You can relax at your hotel room until then. Then she took the pen and the paper with the schedule and scribbled something. “That’s my number. Call me, when you are coming back here. We can watch the panel together, if you want.” She gave you back the paper und stood up. “You know how you get to the hotel?” you nodded. “Okay, then… See you later, Y/N” Beck waved at you and disappeared in the crowd. Wow. Dmitri was fully right; the people here were close like a family.

You left the convention center and walked to your hotel. You got a little room, but it was nice and you could calm down a little. You thought about everything that has happened until now and decided to tell Dmitri about it.

“Hello Dmitri,

WOW. I’m here. I mean, at this very moment I am at the hotel, because there are really a LOT of people. Nevertheless, I was there for a few hours and I’m looking forward to the R2M panel today. To be honest I had to pick a few things, I don’t think I will be able to attend the whole convention, it’s too loud and too busy there. But I guess, if I choose the right things I can do that! J

And you were right, the people here are incredible. There is this girl, Beck, who helped me the whole day with getting to know everything. She really looked after me, that was so nice, I wish you were here to get to know her, I think you would like her!

Yeah, I guess, I just wanted to give you a short update on my convention experience so far. I hope you are well and you are getting more details soon.

Love, Y/N”

You pressed the SEND-Button, set a timer so you wouldn’t miss the panel and then put your mobile-phone away. After that, you tried to find comfort between the lines of your book.  You really enjoyed being by yourself, you didn’t have to expect Jacob stopping by and wanting something of you, you could really do what you wanted, you haven’t had this for quite a time. After you calmed down you looked at the time, ten minutes until your alarm would go off, you decided to text Beck “Getting there in about 10min. Maybe we could meet up?” then you put your shoes took your bag and went back to the convention center. The panel you picked started in about 20 minutes, but if you wanted to find Beck in this crowd you needed to calculate some extra time.

It wasn’t as complicated as you expected it to be to find Beck in the crowd. She looked happy. “Good to see you back here. I met some other people I know from previous conventions I attended. If you want I could introduce you after the panel” she smiled. “Yes, that sounds good, I’m excited, it’s the very first panel for me” you said and Beck leaded you into the room to a nice place where not too many people were sitting. “I hope you’ll enjoy it” she said, then music started to play and Rob, Rich and Matt got on the stage.

 Mishas PoV

I was still nervous. I wouldn’t meet Y/N until tomorrow, I arranged a little dinner which would take place with 6 fans, 5 of them random chosen and y/n, so she wouldn’t expect anything. I did such meetings many times, so it wasn’t something unusual for a convention. Nobody would care, nobody would detect my plan. I decided to give away the 6 tickets tomorrow during my panel. I was sure y/n would be at as many panels as possible, and I remembered the ticket number of the ticket I sent to her, so I was quite sure that my plan would work out.

Today Jensen and Jared kept me busy and we decided to crash the R2M panel, it started in about 10 minutes. We were sitting in the green room together, it didn’t happen that often that we were on a convention the whole weekend, normally we arrived later. But it was nice to recognize how everybody was connected; even the fans seemed to know each other. “Maybe we should do this more often” I said to Jared, I knew how much Jensen and Jared cared for the fans and how much they loved them. “Yeah, I’d like that. I like it when we got some time to really feel the convention-spirit. I really miss that, when we are coming just for our panels.” Jared agreed “And besides that I love to keep up with the rest of the cast. The last time I really talked to Rob or Rich before this weekend feels like an eternity away.” Jensen added smiling.  “Speaking of those two…” Jared started and looked at the time “Their panel started 20min ago, I think it’s time to say hello” Jensen laughed “Okay.. Then, let’s go!” he took his jacket and waited for Jared and me to follow him.

When we were backstage I asked one of the workers for a microphone, after a confused look I tried to explain our little plan and after a few more minutes he got us a mic. Jared acted like a child on Christmas and I had to force myself to not break into laughter. Jensen took the microphone and when Rob asked a fan to ask the next question he jumped in. He tried to disguise his voice and asked “To which demon did you sell your soul to work with the three funniest guys on TV. ” Rob looked confused. He looked at the fan who was standing at the mic but she looked shocked “that wasn’t me” she whispered into the microphone. Rob looked to the other side of the room and the guy who stood there also shook his head. Then Rich grabbed his arm and whispered something. Rob nodded and laughed, then Rich took the microphone and said “I guess it had to be someone really vicious, because the ten years we got are clearly over and instead of hell hounds, which would be gracious,  he sent us this three dorks to mess up our scenes.”

Jensen couldn’t hold himself and busted in laughter. There was a bit more of joking around but then we got on the stage. There were many people entering the room, it was a mess. Rob looked at us and rolled his eyes, but then he laughed. We joked around a bit when we heard a girl’s voice. First I didn’t understand what she was shouting, but then it got clearer “Is a doctor around? We need a doctor! Please call the ambulance.” We looked at each other for a moment then I jumped of the stage and run towards the voice. Jensen and Jared came directly behind me. “What’s wrong?” I asked the woman, who was shouting, but then I saw somebody on the floor “I think she passed out.” The girl said and pointed on the floor.

Part 14

Tags (If you want to be tagged - write me!):

@chantelle-c333 @awolfamongstus @jannalionheart @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @evyiione @destielschild @xx-melissa-x @kcam1621 @smoothdogsgirl @kristendanwayne  @haappy-go-lucky @laffytaffyhumor @thebookisbtr@michell868​ @duubaduu​ @darthcastiel @theoneandonlysuccubus @internationalmusicteacher @gracejo2 @nanie5  @goobykeding @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @irene-frazer @thealienplace @hey-an-original-url @youknowitsmj @anspgene @littleshone

[excindrela]

Summoned (18+)

Supernatural AU

Pairing: demon! Ayno (Noh YoonHo) VAV / Female reader

Genre: Fluff/ a touch of Angst/ and graphic SMUT

Warnings: occult, oral (female receiving), **graphic sex**

Word Count: 3253

AN: Ok. This is only the 2nd thing I have ever posted, and my 1st attempt at smut (sorry if I offend or horrify anyone). Feedback is always appreciated (please be kind).  FYI: “a-spot” is not a typo. Google it. ;)

Happy Halloween!!

AN2: Ayno returned for Thanksgiving, and by request (thank you lovlies) he has become a series! Christmas is here:  12 Days: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

It turned out to be the Halloween where things actually did go bump in the night. The truth of which no one would believe if you decided to tell it.

On-the-fly parties were Misha’s specialty, so there you all were, former college roommates with crazy lives & jobs, on the Friday night before Halloween sitting on Misha’s floor in make-shift costumes with random Asian take-out being washed down with cheap rice wine and sake. You played with the Ouija board, read each other’s tarot cards and thumbed through the Urban Witch’s Guide to Practical Spells (bought on clearance at Barnes & Noble for $5.27).

Come to think of it now, the whole thing was Jia’s fault. She was the one who picked up the spell book and started reading from it.  “Oooo! Oooo! This one is for you!!” , she said punching you in the shoulder. Having gotten your attention, she read aloud, “Are you lonely? Sexually frustrated? Summon a demon specifically to satisfy you and take care of your needs.” “I am not sexually frustrated!” you protested. Misha snorted. “…And when was the last time you got laid, Princess Workaholic? Do I not remember you describing your last boyfriend as a ‘lazy pencil dick’?” “I thought it was ‘rice dick’?”, Jia countered. You sighed, “Ok, yes. My last boyfriend was a lazy un-endowed slob who thought only of himself, and it would have taken an act of Congress for him to go down on me. …but 8 months isn’t that much of a dry spell…” Jia shook her head. “Yeah no. You need this.” She said with a laugh. She tore off a piece of napkin and made you write your name on it, then she reached over and yanked 3 hairs out of your head. She grabbed a black candle with a pentagram on it, held it up and read “I seek the realm beyond! I call upon those who can make manifest the desires of mind, flesh, and heart to cross the veil and grant fulfillment!” as she burned your written name and hairs in the candle. You threw a popcorn ball at her head.

The Uber dropped you off at home sometime just before midnight. You dropped your bag on the floor, locked the door and wandered into the bedroom of your converted warehouse apartment. You had just thrown on an old t-shirt and a pair of boxers when you saw a strange blue light coming from the living room. Upon closer inspection, you discovered it was coming from the large antique floor mirror you bought at an estate sale last year. The whole glass was lit up as though surrounded in neon. Slowly a shadow appeared in the center that as it grew larger took on the shape of a person. You stood, transfixed, as a man stepped through your mirror as though it was any other doorway.

He had to be close to six feet tall. Black pointed toe boots with studded bands led to black leather pants with a similarly studded belt, his shirt was a soft button up in white with a red floral pattern, hidden mostly under a burgundy leather motorcycle jacket.  He had a face like Lucifer fallen: high cheekbones, full pouty lips with a ring through the bottom one and a distinct cupid’s bow on top, and almost black hair covered in a layer of teal. He was a sinful nightmare, straight from your dreams.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” you asked with a slight tremble in your voice.

He eyed you up and down. “I am Ayno. I am a lesser demon of manifestation and desire. You summoned me. I was called upon to service you mistress.”

You stared at him in shock. This was not really happening. “What? No…no…no…that wasn’t me. That was Jia. Jia summoned you. I think you have the wrong mirror.”

He smiled as he approached you and gently tucked your hair behind your ear, bringing his long fingers down to your jaw line to raise your chin and get a better look at you. His thumb brushed across your lips as he chewed on his lower one, using his tongue to play with the ring in it. You felt your underwear growing damp just looking at him. “Mmmm…I don’t think so. But let’s check, shall we?”

He turned on his heel and strode back to the mirror he had stepped out of. The neon glow had disappeared and it looked normal again. He knocked on it in a strange rhythm and then placed his hand in the center of the glass. Nothing happened. He was satisfied. “No. The portal is closed. I am definitely here to see to your…needs.” He turned back to his reflection, studying it for a moment. “My hair is blue? Green?” He peered closer. “Exactly what color are my eyes? Am I Asian? ” he questioned. You shrugged, “Maybe? Do you not know? Isn’t this what you usually look like?”  He shook his head “I look however you desire me to.”

“So mistress…how can I serve you? Which of your desires would you like me to fulfill?” he said as he casually tossed his jacket on the couch and began advancing on you.

You started backing up. “Oh no no…I don’t need anything…I don’t think I have any desires…” you said as you maneuvered around the couch, trying to put distance between yourself and the supermodel from hell.

“None? You’re putting off an awful lot of pheromones for someone with no desires.” he chided. You scooted backwards between the counter and the island in the kitchen. He followed you, unbuttoning his shirt and discarding it on a barstool. “Your heart is pounding…see something you like?” he asked. You moved around the dining table, pulling out the chairs and leaving them as obstacles.

Ayno just kept walking toward you at a languid pace. You continued backing up wondering how to stop his advance. Unfortunately, you didn’t pay attention to where you were going and you backed yourself right into the bedroom. Now you were trapped with nowhere to go. This seemed to please Ayno who leaned in the doorway smirking as you looked around in panic for an escape.

“Oh, please. Don’t kill me.” You whispered breathlessly. He smiled and gave a small chuckle. “Aww- don’t worry baby, I’m not going to kill you. …I’m not even going to hurt you…but I am going to make you scream.”

He held up his right index finger and twirled it in a circle before flicking it in your direction. Like some otherworldly cowboy, a rope of red light shot from his finger, lassoed your wrists and dragged you backward onto the bed – arms above your head, your wrists now bound together by energy and secured tightly to nothing. You tried yanking your arms down, but they wouldn’t budge. “You know, the more you pull on that, the tighter it gets.” Ayno cautioned. He glanced down at the university t-shirt you were wearing. “You won’t be needing that” he said as the shirt was whisked from your body by nothing more than a wiggle of his fingers and a wave of his hand. “You won’t be needing those either” he said looking at your boxers. He made a ‘come here’ motion with his hand and your boxers and panties slid down your legs and flew straight to his hand. He put your soaked panties to his nose, closing his eyes and inhaling slowly before dropping them to the ground.

He held up two fingers like a Boy Scout and then pointed them towards you and split them apart as he did so your legs shot open to opposite sides of the mattress unable to close them of your own free will. His eyes never leaving yours he advanced on you like a predator to their prey. You felt the foot of the bed dip is he climbed on it and crawled towards you.

“I’ll bet you taste delicious.” He purred, glancing down to eye your dripping sex fully on display for him. “Oh oh no! Please!! Oh please no!” you begged knowing what he was about to do, but the demon only laughed.

With a speed that no human could match, he dove between your spread legs and dropped his head to lick a thick fat stripe up your slit. He took excruciatingly long laps, his tongue stretching out and dipping into your hole at the bottom and flicking across your clit at the top. You moaned and writhed, trying to escape him as he guided the tip of his tongue up and down between your folds. Finally he grabbed your hipbones and held you still as he placed his whole mouth to your core, sucking at the juices you couldn’t stop flowing. Without letting up, he slowly inserted his middle finger to your waiting heat, moving it in and out in gentle even thrusts causing tiny currents of electricity to slide along your slick inner walls. You made soft gasping noises that slowly morphed into “more” as your hips bucked upward to meet the thrust of his hand. Ever obliging, Ayno added another finger and increased the pace. The friction caused you to whine softly as your hips twisted in pleasure, held fast in his firm grasp. You could feel yourself winding up, waiting to be pushed over the edge. “Oh please- please- make me cum” you begged. He raised his glowing red eyes to your sweat damped face, as he moved to take your clit between his lips and suck while he curved his fingers upward into your sensitive spot. You gasped and made incoherent sounds as everything behind your eyes went white and your whole body twitched as your orgasm washed over you.

At last he released your throbbing clit and raised his head, the lower half of his face covered in your slick. You felt yourself growing desperate as he continued working his fingers in and out of your soaked core. His breathing was heavy when he asked “You’re so wet…how do you want me to serve you?”

“Fuck me. Please Ayno…please I want to feel you inside me!” you begged like a shameless slut. You had no idea what had happened to the rest of his clothes, but his body was naked as he shifted on top of yours.

A moment later you felt the sweet painful stretch of his thick cock pushing achingly slow inside of you. He took his time pressing in, letting you feel every inch of him as he slid into you. “So tight” he hissed as he bottomed out. He bent forward gently trailing soft wet kisses down your neck as he gave you time to adjust to his size. Gradually, he felt your hips begin to twitch, knowing that you were ready for him to move. He slowly dragged his length out of you pushing back in with slightly more intensity; and with each stroke he increased the pace and added force.

“Does it feel good baby? You like the way I’m fucking you?” he asked as his hip bones crashed into your inner thighs again.

“Mmmmph…uhhh…yes…oh Jesus yes…more…” you choked out.

The demon gave a dark laugh and said “HE has nothing to do with this, I promise you.” as he lifted your legs up over his shoulders and began making quick sharp thrusts that slammed the head of his cock into your sweet spot with every thrust.

“Ayno...my hands… please…” He flicked his fingers at the headboard and you felt the bonds give way and your arms fall to your sides to grip the sheets. You could feel the edges of your vision darkening as all your muscles tightened and the butterflies began in your belly. Ayno reached forward and laced his fingers in yours. “C’mon baby, cum for me…you’re almost there…” he coaxed as he flexed his hips faster. You moaned loudly as the pleasure washed over you like a wave while fireworks exploded behind yours eyes, and you felt yourself clenching around him harder than you ever had. “Yes! Yes! Oh fuck yes!” you yelled loud enough that you were sure the entire building could hear you.

Ayno slowed his pace, and slid your legs off his shoulders until your knees were around his elbows, while he watched you pant and come down from your high. “I don’t think you’re satisfied yet. You want more baby?” “More??” you gasped. He smiled and nodded as he unhooked your knees and reached down with strong hands behind your back and pulled you up until you were sitting in his lap, his cock still buried to the hilt inside you. He began gently rolling his hips, the motion causing him to simultaneously apply rhythmic pressure to your clit and the tip of his cock to graze your a-spot. Your breath began coming in short staccato gasps. You threaded your fingers into his hair “Aren’t you close?” He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t you need to come?”

He gave a throaty laugh. “I can if you want me to, but it’s not necessary. Orgasm or not, I can do this any way you want, all night if you desire.” He said gazing up at you with burgundy eyes that sparkled like glitter and a smirk on his lips. You brought your mouth to his, suddenly prepared to give up whatever sleep you thought you were going to get.

***

You startled as you realized there was someone in the bed with you. Cautiously you rolled over to find your dream-nightmare leaning on one elbow watching you sleep with detached amusement. “Ayno? Oh god. That really happened.  Wh-what are you still doing here? Its’s daylight” Ayno rolled his eyes. “I’m a demon, not a vampire. Daylight is not a problem for me. ...and I can’t leave. You haven’t released me.” “Released you?” “Yeah- you summoned me. I have to do your bidding, and then when you’re satisfied, you release me and I leave.”

“Does what happened really count as summoning?” you questioned. Ayno nodded. “..and do my bidding? I didn’t bid you to do anything.” Ayno’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No? Didn’t you? What do you think last night was?” That? All of that??? “Uh no! That was you demon boy!” The gorgeous demon laughed in earnest showing off the Hollywood-esq smile it didn’t seem a creature like him should have. “That’s not how it works. It’s not about me or what I want. It has to be in you- it’s what *you* want. I just know - I can sense it. But it all comes from you.” You were mortified. That came from you? No no no. That wasn’t you- that was like smut you’d read in a fanfic on Tumblr. Not that it wasn’t awesome, but... “Wait. So you’re stuck here and have to do whatever I want until I tell you to leave??” Ayno’s eyes narrowed. “Something like that.”

*** 3 weeks later***

The smell of coffee pulled you out of bed earlier than you would like on a Sunday morning. You wandered into the kitchen to be greeted by what had become one of your favorite things: Ayno, shirtless, making your breakfast. You paused for a moment to admire the view of his triangular torso, but since he was attuned to you, it was impossible to sneak up on him. He spun around and picked up your coffee cup and strutted down the kitchen like a model on a catwalk to hand it to you. You giggled.

“Did you enjoy the show? Can I have a shirt now?” he pleaded. “Please?”

Please. So human. You’d been working on the human thing. “Of course.”

He retrieved his shirt from the back of the couch and paused at the mirror to look at himself on the way back.  His hair was now chocolate brown, very short on the sides and back, but longer on the top with caramel colored highlights. “I look Asian now.” He confirmed with a smile, as he began fluffing and styling his bangs. He gestured at his new hair, “This is good?” he questioned hopefully. You nodded enthusiastically.

“I think this look will go over better with my family. They will approve, therefore there will be fewer questions.” You explained. He nodded – he didn’t get a choice- his appearance was still subject to your whims. “We can change it up when we get back. I think you’d look great as a blonde.” He arched one eyebrow and eyed you doubtfully as he picked you up by the hips and effortlessly lifted you up to sit on the counter.

“Tell me again about this ‘Thanksgiving’ we are going to.” He asked as he plated your breakfast and handed it to you.

You didn’t answer right away. You stuffed a piece of pancake in your mouth to hide the small wave of guilt that hit you for not having released him yet. Ayno did make great pancakes, but it seemed unfair to keep an accidently summoned demon as a sex slave and pretend boyfriend - even if he was the best boyfriend you’d ever had. He was a good cook, the house was spotless, he had turned out to have a great sense of humor and was a pro at cuddling- as well as everything that came after it. However, you were pretty sure that demons were not supposed to be domesticated, and that this went against his nature…he was probably miserable.

You looked up from the food you had been concentrating way too hard on to find his nose inches from yours. It surprised you, because, if anything, your thoughts and feelings should have pushed him away, not called him to you. He was looking in your eyes in that way that made you think he was staring at your soul (and you weren’t entirely sure he wasn’t).

“I am not unhappy.”

“But this doesn’t seem right.”

He shrugged. “Right is whatever you want, whatever makes you happy.”

“But what do you want?”

He sighed and looked down at your breakfast plate. “My desires do not enter into it. What I want doesn’t matter.”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “It does to me. What do you want, Ayno?”

“This.” Suddenly, his velvet soft lips were on yours. You were surprised and hesitated for a moment – never before had any of Ayno’s actions been something you hadn’t willed. He pulled away, smiling.

“You allowed me choice. Why?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know…I mean I know you’re a demon, and probably inherently evil, but it just seems like you should have some say in your life.”

Ayno shook his head. “I am not evil. I am owned and managed by evil. But you might be surprised to know that I do have feelings.”

You were surprised actually. “Really?” He nodded. “I assumed that you couldn’t…you never told me.”

“You never asked.” He hesitated a moment, “Why do you keep me here?”

Embarrassed, you went back to playing with your pancakes. Knowing that he deserved an answer, you whispered, “Because I like you.”

He placed his hands on your hips and pressed his forehead to yours. “I like you too. More than any soul I have ever encountered. Is that not how it is done in this world? You like each other so you stay together?”

He made it sound so simple.

“Something like that.” You replied.