#misha looks like he's losing

[diodellet]

im not even sure if i should keep tryna pull for black swan or wait for aventurine... bcs one hand dot team supremacy (girliepop has kafka and sampo and guinajfen) but also oooohhhh shady pretty man...

[ziigee]

*sometimes when the Texas man looks at his boyfriend whilst chewing the poor gum furiously, i think that he is imagining chewing that juicy man in front of him 🫠 idk maybe it's just me. Nothing is normal or innocent to me, after diving headfirst in this dumpster!!! 💙💚

Well, i love it here. Finally, i belong!

[kaiser1ns]

The after-party was getting dull, and you were exhausted, longing for the comfort of home, the warmth of your bed, and the fluffiest blankets you owned. The soft mattress, the mountain of plushies—some gifted by Itoshi Sae, others by Michael Kaiser—called to you. Sae watched the scene from afar, swirling a champagne glass as he observed you and Kaiser sitting on the cold balcony stairs, sharing a piece of cake. The striker leaned closer, taking small bites as you offered, enjoying your company. The midfielder sighed and eventually joined, sitting beside you, which put you in the middle of them both.

A chilly breeze swept through, and you shivered slightly. Your dress, beautiful but strapless, wasn’t much protection against the cool air, though It was gorgeous, something you’d want to wear every day, but sadly, it was from a fashion house and would have to be returned. Suddenly, warmth settled around your shoulders. Kaiser had wrapped his jacket around you, flashing a soft smile before smirking at Sae. You didn’t notice Sae’s reaction, distracted by the night sky above. So many stars—a constellation not unlike the football stars in the team you worked for, Re Al. The best team in the world, a rare privilege you held, to be close to legendary players like Modric, Kroos, Ronaldo, and Zidane.

And now, the team’s rising stars—the Japanese and German prodigies, both members of the New Generation World XI, each easily affected by the other’s smallest provocation.

"Quick on the field, slow to treat a lady, aren’t you, Sae?” Kaiser teased, raising an eyebrow, and running a tattooed hand through his hair. The midfielder shot him a glare, moments from tossing his drink to wipe the smug grin off his teammate's face, but you interrupted, resting your head on Sae’s shoulder.

“Do you ever wonder… what life would have been like,” you murmured. The two paused their banter, curious. Snuggled in Kaiser’s jacket, you went on, “…if we’d never joined Re Al, or the world of football at all?”

Sae and Kaiser exchanged glances, taken aback. It wasn’t like you to ask questions like this, and you rarely drank that much. But when they looked back at you, your eyes were closed—not asleep, just calm, relaxing for once without making Sae jealous or flirting with Kaiser. For now, you stayed neutral. You knew you loved them both, but the question was—who?

A question for another time, you thought. Reopening your eyes to watch your breath form a small cloud in the cool night air. “Usually, both of you have something to say… so?”

Sae answered first, setting his glass down and absently twirling a strand of your hair around his finger. “I probably would have had a normal life. A happy one. Maybe my personality wouldn’t have turned out quite like this.” You hummed softly, glancing over at Kaiser, who looked uncharacteristically sad, and … upset. Had your question touched a nerve?

“Do you want to share, Misha?” you asked. He quickly regained his composure, losing his blue tie as he too looked up at the sky

“Probably a criminal, or something,” he shrugged it off quickly, yet the pain lingered behind his eyes. After Kaiser’s answer, a soft silence settled over the three of you. You could sense that this wasn’t the time to dig further; if he wanted to share more, he would. Instead, you shifted, resting your head on Kaiser’s shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close.

“There’s no salvation in the past,” he murmured, his voice low. “So don’t think about it. Focus on what’s happening now.” But his words drifted past you as sleep tugged at your eyelids. Kaiser noticed, chuckling softly at how peaceful you looked as you began to doze off.

Carefully, he nudged you up, steadying you on your feet. Sae, still sitting, glanced up at the way you seemed exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep right here on the spot as he too thought the same, that you were so cute.

“Might be the last time we have such a peaceful moment like this,” Kaiser said quietly. “Let’s bring her home.”

The two of them helped you down the stairs, keeping you steady. They’d make sure you got home safe and sound and hoped for no paparazzi photos first thing in the morning. Both of them here, looking out for you, felt like a gift from the universe itself—having them not only in your life but in your heart.

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work

[st4rd0lly]

ＴＯＮＧＵＥＳ ＆ ＴＥＥＴＨ —

CONTENT WARNING : this fic series will contain DARK content , smut , age gap (reader is mid-late 20s while Nikolai is in his 30s) , probably inaccurate detective work descriptions , and religious themes. this does not follow canon and it is a non ability AU

chapter warnings : suggestive themes (angry sex gets mentioned once) ; firearm

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄 : 𝐖𝐇𝐎 ?

A detective.

That’s what you are.

Or well, that’s what you were. You had left that life behind you, swore on it. You weren’t a terrible detective by any means, quite the opposite. You were notably the smartest detective in your city. Sharp and witty, reliable and smart. That’s what you prided yourself on. But with making bigger shoes, you made yourself nearly look like a clown when you stepped out of them. All it took was one case, one case to make you step down.

And like that, you were out of the game.

With no interest to push yourself forward in your career, you sidelined yourself much to everyone’s dismay. You had people relying on you, people who needed you. But a normal life is what you desired after what felt like an action film that lasted forever. It’s what you deserved.

You didn’t lose all that much like you expected though. People still respected you for what you did, your ex-coworkers still treated you like their own, they still come to you for advice and you gave them your best. You became a mentor for younger detectives, a rowdy but loveable group who wanted to follow your footsteps.

You were content with the life you led. All trauma considered, you’d say you’re doing pretty solid for what you’ve been through going through cases.

You were happy for once, you were content with this domestic life you’ve made for yourself. 

"Someone tells me you’re sick of old games. Let’s play a new one. =)"

You repeated the note left on your window to your ex-work partner, Mikhail, on the phone. Staring at it with furrowed brows, you cursed to yourself. "I quit this shit for a fucking reason." With a groan, you slam yourself back down on the couch. 

"Did you check security cameras?" Mikhail questioned, groaning along with you. He’s been by your side since your guys’ first day together, two peas in a pod. You still remember the days where you were just young rookies together. You guys weren’t Sherlock Holmes and Watson by any means, but some might argue that your dynamic duo could come close.

Your face fell into a deadpanned expression, "You really think I wouldn’t?"

"Hey, I’m just trying to make sure we covered all bases. But knowing you, you probably already did that so I guess it was a stupid question— which is besides the point though." You could tell that he was just at a lost as you are.

"Misha, I wanted to leave this stuff behind me." You said, a little more solemnly than you’d liked to admit. "I thought after I faded out in the system for a bit, things would be okay for me. Sure, we’ve made our enemies—"

"You especially."

"Yes, me especially. But I know that most of them are in prison and the others are respectable enough to do this stuff to my face instead of… whatever the fuck that is. I wanted out."

"And you will be out. One day, I promise you." Mikhail reassures, his usual lighthearted tone softening. "Do you think it could be the same guy from our last case together?" He asks.

And you wished you had an answer. The last case you ever took on as an official detective left you in pieces that you’re still trying to pick up to this day. There were too many missing factors but so many were coming to a horrific realization. There were no hints one moment and then the next, there were. Each step closer you thought you took, set you 10 paces back with little time to catch up. That case had flipped your life upside down and around. Like some sick cycle. 

If it was the same bastard behind that case, you were sure that the old you would’ve jumped at the chance.

But you aren’t the person you were in the past, and you haven’t been for a long time.

Maybe this was exactly what the guy wanted, what they came here for. To wait for things to get calm till they could hit hard again. Or maybe, there was a chance that this note could’ve come from a new, completely different person. Someone who wanted to take out an old big shot to make themselves look even bigger. There was just too many open spaces with a huge gap of no information. It could be anything from anyone.

"I don’t know Misha, with the little to no info right now… it literally could be anyone." You admitted, not trying to even hide the defeat in your voice. Your brain searching, scanning, and recalling for anyone that stood out to you in your life. Someone who would mess with you like this, taunting from afar. It hits you like cold water in the morning. "Oh my god. What if it’s my ex?"

"You think you got yourself caught up in like a weird crazy ex revenge situation? What was the guy’s name again?" Mikhail questioned.

"Nikolai. Nikolai Gogol." You responded, rubbing at your temple. Fuck, if it really was Nikolai…

But that was so long ago, way before your last case. And that relationship was never going to last, the both of you knew that. You wanted different things, you two were different…it wouldn’t have worked out. Maybe he wanted Bonnie and Clyde, turn you away from the so called righteousness and justice that is detective work. Live out a life of crime. You never were aware of what he did for work, you were able to tell it was dangerous. And maybe in another life, he was able make you his Bonnie. 

You made sure that this wasn’t that life.

Thinking back to all the times you’ve spent with him makes your heart has plunge into your stomach. You were aware that he wasn’t the greatest person to date. You said through heated kisses and angry sex that it was just the rush, the thrill of it all in the relationship you had with him that kept you around. Each time he could only laugh in your face. All his talk about freedom definitely added a new perspective to your life, but it was so extreme. 

And oddly enough when you wanted to end it, he was very much less than pleased even though that’s all he’s ever wanted. To be free. He’s a walking contradiction though and he left your life without a trace. You refused to look back.

It wouldn’t make sense to mess up your life now.

….

When did he ever make sense?

"I’ll check in with the database, see what I can scoop up on him." Mikhail attempts to reassure you, though it does little to soothe your thoughts. He never knew about the complexity of your relationship with Nikolai. Just that it was strange. He didn’t know how dangerous he was.

But you weren’t about to tell him right now, not while it felt like someone was watching you. "Okay…"

"Did you ask your neighbors if they saw anything? What about that one neighbor across from you?" Mikhail suggested. "Take a picture of the note and I’ll drop by with some of the team by your place so we can investigate more. Better to not tamper with evidence so just use the picture to show your neighbors."

"Okay, yeah I’ll do that." You agreed, it wasn’t a bad idea. "Thank you Misha."

"I’ll be there in about fifteen. Go chat with your neighbors. Don’t die."

"Trying not to." You chuckled, hanging up the phone. You stood back up from the couch, looking at the window with disdain. The note was still there, staring back at you. Though you knew nothing was confirmed, you tried to find any hints of Nikolai’s presence. The only thing sticking out to you was the smiley, and that wouldn’t be viable evidence of anything. You shook your head, opening the camera app on your phone and snapping a picture. 

Now  that was done and over with. Time to talk to your neighbor.

Your neighbor was a relatively tall and attractive man you would say. You’ve never talked to him before, only seeing him for a brief moment when you walk to your car or when he goes out. Your window allows you a somewhat good view outside. Though you could also say that his appearance did make him stand out too. 

Tossing on a jacket, you hoped your neighbor wouldn’t judge too hard if you were in your pajamas. It was still early in the morning when you woke up to that note. 

You bite your tongue, you shouldn’t leave the house unarmed. Taking a quick trip back to your room, you put on your belt that you wear to do your mentor work. The one that’s meant to hold your firearm. You grab your gun in your drawer to put in your holster.

You opened the door, shivering a bit as the cool air hits your skin and hugged yourself tighter. Whoever put that note there must be really motivated to mess with you because who on earth would put a stupid note on a window when it’s this cold?

Taking a couple of steps towards his door, you placed a firm knock. You really hoped he was here. It would be an even shittier day if he wasn’t and you were waiting out in the cold longer than you needed to be. But thankfully, the door opens.

"May I help you?" The rich Russian accent caught you off guard, making you blink in surprise. You weren’t sure what to expect when he did speak but it wasn’t that. 

You gave the man an apologetic smile, "Hi I’m so sorry to bother you early this morning but I was wondering if you had heard anything strange late at night or earlier in the morning? Or if you had seen anything weird?"

The man looks down at you for a moment and you could tell he was studying you. His eyes were probably the most vibrant shade of a deep purple hue that you had ever seen before. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, he had a good poker face you had to admit. He only tilts his head to the side, looking concerned. "I had not heard anything out of the ordinary. I usually am not here all that often because of work, but when I am here, I like to stay in my bedroom and rest."

He sounded genuine, and he definitely looked genuine. But those years you’ve spent as a detective grew your skills, and you’ve kept them sharp. You wouldn’t have been earnestly praised highly as a detective if you weren’t good at catching onto the small things. A blessing and a curse. There was something off about this neighbor of yours that you couldn’t place your finger on.

You couldn’t let him know that though, so you only shook your head again and waved your hand. "Ah, I’m so sorry again then. There was just a note left on my window and I was just wondering if anyone saw anything. It’s okay, thank you for your time."

"That sounds terrible, forgive me if I’m overstepping but are you certain it wasn’t your roommate playing some sort of prank?"

……

You could feel the gears in your head pause abruptly. You blink at him in confusion.

Roommate? 

"I don’t have a roommate?" You clarified, raising a brow at his comment. But he only reciprocates your confused expression.

"Is that so? I was sure you did. There was this man I’ve seen at your place before quite often whenever I’m here." He tells you, and your mind goes into a frenzy. What the fuck was he talking about? Was he talking about Mikhail? 

"I’m sorry, could you explain more?" You kept your tone polite, and it was obvious you weren’t expecting this. You were too distracted by the thoughts swirling in your head that you didn’t realize that you were shaking a bit from the weather.

"Here, you should come inside. I have some tea prepared for myself but there’s enough to share. I’ll tell you what I know. Part of it is that it’s bad manners to keep a guest outside in the cold." He opens the door more, stepping out of the way. 

Jesus, you really did want to stop being dragged into these games.

[justwhisperingfantasies]

The One That Got Away -2-

Characters: Reader, (Y/N), and nicknames babe(s). Jensen Ackles. Jared Padalecki. Misha Collins. Ruthie Connell. Rob Benedict. Osric Chau. Alexander Calvert. Briana Buckmaster. Eric Kripke. Lily (o.c) Abby (o.c) Brett (o.c) Warnings: Drinking. Language. Angst. A smidgen of smut(not too graphic) Talk of blackmail, Talk of pregnancy loss, Cheating. Talks of past cheating. Summary: You get pulled back into the magic of supernatural conventions and realize the love you once had is still there. Word count: 6,275

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗 If you would like to be added to Tag List click here Please don't copy my work Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗

Part 1

Jensen’s P.o.V

Jensen watched you walk away in Ruthie’s arms. He turned to Jared and sighed. “Exactly how much of that did you hear?”

“Well, I came in around blackmail. What the fuck is going on Ackles?”  Jensen explained everything to him. Jared stood there in shock. “That’s pretty much the same look (y/n) had on her face too.”

“So, when you two told me you ended it because you were better as friends...”

“Yes Jared. We lied to you. Hell, we lied to everyone. I didn’t want to be painted fuckboy Ackles, and she didn’t want everyone feeling sorry for her. So, we lied.” He said again. “I’m sorry Jared.”

Jared took a second to process everything. “We tell each other everything. Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?”

“I. I don’t know man. I think I was just too ashamed. I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Where and when did this happen?”

“You remember that party we went to right before the hiatus between season 7 and 8?”

“Yeah… That was 2012, right?” Jared asked, trying to remember.

 Jensen nodded.  “(y/n) had to leave early because the wreck, remember?”

“That’s right. But to be honest I was really drunk, and it was a long time ago.” Jared shook his head. “What I don’t get Jay. You were going to ask her to marry you the next day. I went with you to buy the ring. I don’t see you throwing away everything you guys had drunk or not.”

“Jared, I don’t remember anything from that night. I remember dropping off at the airport. Next thing I know is I’m waking up in a stranger’s bed naked.

“You don’t remember it at all?”

“Nope.” Jensen gestured for them to go inside. “I tried Jared. I tried to find her during hiatus. She wouldn’t return my phone calls. No one would tell me where she was. Then Kelsey called me telling me she was pregnant and started with the blackmail.

“Dude again why didn’t you tell me?”

Jensen sighed. “I didn’t want her to have any more power than she already had. If she knew that you knew she could use me to get you to do whatever she wanted.”

“How did she do it? Like what did she threaten you with?” Jared asked as they made their way to the elevator

“Media mainly. Before she lost the baby, she threatened to go to everyone and anyone that would listen about how I knocked her up and left her and the baby. Then after, I’d be the asshole that left the mother after just losing the baby. I was young and just starting out. I believed everything she said. You know how one dumb rumor can ruin someone’s life or career. I just wish I would of went to my dad sooner.”

“I wish you would have told me, but I understand why you felt like you couldn’t. I’m sorry I should have known something was wrong.” He hit the call button

“J.P Don’t do that; you have nothing to be sorry for. You wouldn’t of had a reason to doubt anything, from what I hear I’m a pretty good actor.” He smiled. Jared let out a soft chuckle “besides we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it, move on, and try to repair the damage.”

“Yea... At least she knows the truth now. Maybe you guys could get back”

“I’m not.”

“Jensen. I was going to say get back to being friends.

“I don’t know Jared she’s pretty hurt and didn’t say much even after I told her.”

“Give her time to process everything. You might be surprised.” The doors opened and they walked through, hitting the button with their floor number.

“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Just then Jensen’s phone went off. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He raised his eyebrows as he read.

“What?!” Jared asked.

“Jensen don’t call Eric. Just think about it.”

“Well told ya you might be surprised.”

Reader’s P.o.V

You woke to a knock on your hotel door. “Go away!” you yelled.

“I have coffee.”  You heard someone yell back.

“Ok hold on.” You rubbed your temples trying to get the slight headache to stop as you sat up.  You got up and looked in the mirror. You quickly ran a brush through your hair and splashed some cold water on your puffy eyes.

There was another knock. “Come on, it’s getting cold.”

“Keep your panties on.” you yelled as you walked to the door. “Lily? What are you doing here? How’s your dad?” you opened the door wider and stepped out of the way.

“My dad is fine. Just a broken wrist.” She handed you a cup of coffee stepping through the doorway. You closed the door behind her. “The truck not so much, but it could have been way worse.”

“Well, that’s good. But what are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you.” she said sitting down on the sofa.

“For real?”

“Yep, you’re off the hook babes. You can go home.” She looked up from her coffee. “What’s that look?”

“What look?”

“That look. He got to you.”

“Lily. It’s not like that.”

“Ugh I knew you coming here was a bad idea. I swear I’m to kick.”

“Lil. I have to tell you something.” You sat beside her and told her everything. 

“Oh my god.”

“I know”

“Oh my god!”

“Can you say anything else?”

 “So, he didn’t love her.”

“Apparently not.”

“I thought something felt off, but I just thought it was the energy from whatever happened between you two.”

“Lily you’re not psychic”

“But I am psychic adjacent.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s not a thing.”

“Wait. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but how do you know he wasn’t lying?”

“He wasn’t lying.” you assured her.

“How do.”

“Because I know Lil.” She looked at you. “Trust me I know.”

“Oh my god. So does this mean y’all are gonna get back together?”

You sighed. “Lily, I can’t.” she gave you a puzzled look. “don’t look at me like that you know why.”

“Right.” She took a drink of her coffee

“You still love him...”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Jensen’s P.o.V

As he waited to go through the curtain for the morning gold panel, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would be sitting in her seat. He smiled at the thought.

“You ready man?” Jared asked. He nodded. “Let’s go.”

They walked out on-stage waving and blowing kisses at the crowd. His eyes glanced down hoping to see her face. Nope damnit. The women sitting her sitting in (y/n)’s seat waved. He furrowed his brows but waved back. What the hell was Lily doing here. Did (y/n) leave?

“Jensen you ready for questions?”

“Yes, sorry. Need more coffee.” He said the cup in his hand with a smile, the audience laughed. “Alright, your blue hoodie.”

. She left and the only relationship you would have at this point would be professional. Come on Jensen head in the panel he thought

“Jensen? You ok man? “Jared asked nudging his arm

“Yep. What was the question?”

Jared repeated it to him, and he did his best to answer it. As the minutes ticked by and the questions kept coming, he tried his best to stay focused. He managed it for most of the panel except when Jared got a question and his mind started to wander, but Jared knew what was going on, so he tried to keep Jensen engaged in conversation with his answers.

“Alright. Thank you, guys. We love you all. Take care.” They walked to the opening of the curtain. “Ok how bad was it?”

“The beginning was rocky, after you got out of your head it was bad at all.” Jared promised him. “You gonna be, ok?”

“Gonna have to be.” 

Jared sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”

Jensen smiled. “Unless you got a Jennie, not really”

“So, you boys have some time before your meet and greet. Y’all hungry?”

His whole body froze. She didn’t leave.

Reader’s P.o.V

Jared spun around, “(y/n) we thought you left.”

You took a step back and raised your hands. “Do not pick me up Padalecki!”

He laughed. Jensen finally turned around.

Jared could feel the tension between the two of you. “let’s go get some grub.” He turned around and started walking. You and Jensen followed.

You and Jensen followed in awkward silence.

“So have you thought about the part?” you asked Jensen

“Yea. I think it would be fun. He is a complete dickhead though.”

“Oh, a total scumbag, but.”

“You’re really going to defend him?”

“I agreed with you.”

“With a but.”

“Ben is the character you love to hate. You know he’s fucked up and yet you find your self hoping he will do the right thing. Who knows maybe this whole asshole thing is just a front.” Jensen raised his eyebrows at you. “The guy has ptsd, been tortured by the Russians for years, screwed over and used by Vought, screwed over by his own team and the woman that supposed loved him. I think if we got the right guy to play him, he could be a real fan favorite” You nudged into him.

“Why do you have such a hard on for this character?” he asked as he opened the green room door for you.

You took a step, then turned to him “I guess I just have a thing for assholes.”  You teased.

Jensen’s jaw dropped. “Wow! That was a cheap shot.”

You walked to the fridge and pulled out 2 bottles of water, tossing one at Jensen. He caught it and took a drink.

“Plus, you’d look good super suit, Ackles.” You said laughing as you sat on the couch.

He chuckled and sat beside you laying his arm across the back of the couch behind you.

You heard the door open and looked up when you heard your nickname. “Babes! You’re still here?!” Misha sat down on the other side of you. “And still wearing that Cowboys hat I see.” He flicked the bill of your baseball cap.

“Be careful Collins. If you hurt this hat I will hurt, you.” You pulled the bill back down and stroked it. “And yes, every game day.”

“Is that the one you stole?” Jensen chimed it.

“I did not steal it.”

“Yes, you did. You came to grab me for a scene.” He winked at you  “You asked to borrow it because you didn’t have a scrunchy.” 

“I’m still borrowing it.”

“10 years later?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.

“Yep.”

He smiled and shook his head.

Before you could stop it, the memory was already replaying in your head.

Year 2008:

“We gotta get back babe, Sgriccia said 25 minutes.”

“I don’t want to.” You protested.

“Trust me. I’d rather lay here with you like this.” He lifted the sheet for a peek “Come on just a couple of scenes and we will be right back here. Exactly like this.” He waggled his eyebrows making you smile.

“Promise?”

He smiled. “I promise.” He kissed you.  He got up and picked your clothes up and laid them on the bed.

 You got dressed and looked in the mirror. Your hair was a wreck. “Can I borrow a hat?”

“A hat?”

“Yes, someone made my hair all messy.” You pointed at him and mouthed the word you, making him laugh. “I don’t have a brush or scrunchy to fix it and I know your ass has a million hats around here.” He handed you his new Dallas cowboy’s hat. “Thank ya love.” He nodded with a smile.

“You ready?” he asked holding out your coat for you.

“Yep.” You put your arms in and turned to face him. He gave you one more kiss. “I love you, Ross.”

“I love you too baby.”

Jensen cleared his throat bringing you back. You looked at him, his eyes told you he was reminiscing as well. You shot up off the couch and awkwardly walked over to the fridge. You opened it and pretended to look for something.

“Look who I found.” Abby said walking through the door with Lily following her. “Did we plan a reunion this weekend?”

You smiled. “Don’t even try to pretend like you don’t love seeing our faces, Abigail.” She narrowed her eyes as you said her full name. you blew her a kiss with a dramatic mwah sound.

“Hey, are you guys going to Rob’s thing tonight?” Jared asked you walk

“What thing?”

“I guess Louden Swain is having a pop-up at the bar across the street tonight.”

“I don’t know.” You looked over to Lily who was attempting puppy dog eyes with her bottom lip pouted. You sighed. “You guys and you’re damn puppy eyes.”

Lily’s face perked up. “Is that a, yes?”;

“Yes.” You said walking toward the door “Come on boys. Meet and greet time. Jensen and Jared followed you. “You too Lily?” you held your elbow out to her. She linked her arm in yours and you walked out the door.

You watch Jensen and Jared interact with their fans with a smile on your face. You felt someone nudge your arm. “Hey there.” Osric said.

You smiled at him “What’s up Oz?”

“Nothin. Hanging out.

“Sounds fun.”

You look back at Jensen. He was watching you. His face was hard, and his brows scrunched together. You raised your hands and eyebrows in a what gesture.

“He’s jealous.” Osric said.

“Oh, shut up. He is not.”

“You want me to prove it?” you rolled your eyes and Osric put his arm around you. You watched Jensen’s jaw clenched and his nostrils flared.

 “Don’t piss him off. You shook off Osric’s arm. “But why would he be jealous of you?”

“He knows I had a thing for you back in the day.”

“Speaking of things from back in the day.” You nodded your head towards Lily who was walking up carrying 2 carriers full of coffee cups. Osric smiled.

She sat down the 2 cup carriers she had in her arms and pulled out your coffee. “Here you go.” She said holding it out to you.

“Lily you could ask for help ya know.”

“Eh I’m used to it, Oh, hey Osric. How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Good, good.” The awkward tension made you cringe. He said, “Here, let me help you” he picked up one of the carriers.

“See ya around Babes.” He winked at you, and you nodded as they walked away.

Jensen’s face relaxed and you shook your head at him. His attention went back to his face, and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched. He was so good to his fans. He smiled at you and your heart fluttered. Man, why did he have to go and fuck everything up? You stood there pondering how much different you life would be with him.

“So, can I ask how the whole babe/babes thing started?” An unfamiliar voice made you jump. You looked over to find Alexander standing next to you.

“Really?! Nobody’s told you the story?”

“No. Everyone just says that’s what we’ve always called her.”

“Hmm. Ok. So back in season 3 Jensen and I started dating, everyone kind of new, but nobody really pressed us about it. We wanted to stay professional on set and around our co-workers. One day Jensen let babe slip out on set. Padalecki and Beaver started calling me babe to mock him and it just kind of stuck. Next thing you know everyone was doing it.”

“How long did you guys’ date?”

“Almost 4 years.”

“So, what happened?”

“We were just better off as friends. I guess,”

“I call bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“It seriously took you almost 4 years to realize you were better off as friends?”

“Babes.” Abby walked over to you “Can you take the boys out to lunch for me? I got something I have to take care of.” Abby grabbed you, you waved and Alex nodded as she drug you away.

“Am I gonna get paid for today?”

“Put it on my tab.” She smiled at you.

You made your way over to the table as the event ended.  “Y’all hungry?”

“Starving.” Jensen said and Jared nodded.

“Well come on. We are going out for lunch.”

“Who’s we?” Jensen asked.

“You, Jared, Lily, and me?”

“Ok I’ll go.”

“I mean if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that. I just don’t wanna be the third wheel to you and Osric.”

“Really Jensen?”

“Well, you looked pretty cozy a minute ago.”

You rolled your eyes. You motioned Lily and started walking toward the elevators. She met you on your way. “You, ok?”

“Jensen being Jensen.” you looked over your shoulder, the boys were a way back but following.

“So, Lily, You’re a cast p.a now?” Jared said trying to relieve the awkward tension in the air that lingered around the table.

“Yeah, It’s a lot of fun. So much better than a grip assistant.”

“You gonna follow in (y/n)’s footsteps and become a writer?”

You smiled at her. “No. I could never. I really don’t know how she does it. It’s amazing. I wish you could read her work right now. What she did with Soldier Boy was awesome.”

Jensen’s eyes snapped up to you and your smile faded. “You wrote Soldier Boy?” he asked.

“I helped develop him for television.” His green eyes leered at you. “I did not create him myself.”

“Helped?” Lily continued “Eric loved everything you suggested for him. She made him so good. He’s a dick, but you got to love him.”

You sighed and went back to your plate. “Hey Eric.” Your eyebrows raised when you heard Jensen say Eric’s name. “I’m good bud. How are you?”  He laughed. You looked back up at him. Shit he was probably going to say no. You didn’t think Eric would fire you over it, but it wasn’t out of the question. “Well, you know I had to get woo-ed first.” He laughed again. “Yeah, she is good at getting what she wants huh.” More laughter. “Yes sir. Write me up a contract. Me and Frank will meet up with y’all” He listened. “Alright man I’ll talk to you later… bye” he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Your phone buzzed. You looked it and read the message.

Eric: Thank you!

You smiled as you turned the screen off and put your phone back on the table. The waitress came back over “Can I get you guys anything else?” she batted her eyes at Jensen, he flashed a smile at her. “No darlin’ just the check.” You rolled your eyes as he winked at you.

You stepped up to the elevator’s call button and pressed it. Jared and Jensen walked up as you waited. Jensen stood beside so close your arms were touching. The doors open and you start to walk but Jensen stopped you. “We’ll meet y’all up there. I have to talk to (y/n).” Lily looked at you and you nodded. The doors shut.

“What?” You asked but he stayed silent and then pressed the call button once Jared and Lily started going up. “’Jensen. What do you want?”

The second set of doors opened, and He gestured you to go first. You got in and leaned against the back wall.

“Ya know babes, You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous.” He pushed the button for your floor and turned around.

“What?”

“The waitress at lunch. I noticed your eye rolls and dirty looks.”

You sighed. “Have you ever heard the story about the kettle and pot?”

He gave you a flirty smile.  “So, what if I was?” He closed the space between you and slid his hands on your face, bringing his lips just inches away from yours. His eyes searching yours for a refusal, but you didn’t give one. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss. Electricity coursed through your veins. Before you could stop them, your arms wrapped around his neck deepen the kiss further. His arms found their way around your waist pulling you into him. The elevator dinged and reality set back in ending the kiss.  He rested his forehead on yours.

“Jensen.” you whimpered between pants.

“Please don’t ruin this.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“Just tell me why and it will never come up again.

“I’m getting married.

 “Bullshit. Padalecki would have told me.” He tilted his head to kiss you again

You pulled back. “Jared doesn’t know.” His eyes shot open.

“When?”  

“5 weeks.”

“You’re getting married in 5 weeks and you didn’t invite Jared?” He asked, bringing his forehead back down to yours.

“Family only. You know I never wanted a big wedding.”

His face scrunched in pain. “Do you still love me?”

“Jensen...” you blinked back tears.

Your breath hitched as his hands smacked his palms against the wall. “Just answer the question!” He demanded.

You couldn’t stop the tears any longer. You nudged him. He didn’t move. “Jensen Please.”

He stepped out of the way, and you walked off the elevator. Your phone started to ring on the way back to your room. Your phone started to ring. Fucking fantastic you thought as you saw the name.

“Hey,” your voice cracked as you answered your phone.

“What’s wrong?” Brett asked.

“Nothing.”

“Eric just told me the news.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Congrats. I didn’t think you’d be able to actually pull it off babe.”

You hmphed. “Well thanks.”

“Don’t take it like that. Hey gotta go Angela needs me.”

“Oh of course.” The tears started again.

“Don’t be like that. She’s, my boss.”

“And she totally has a thing for you.”

“You’re Being crazy.”

“Yep. I’m the problem.”

“Seriously? I gotta go. Can we finish this later?”

“Yep.” You hung up

“Hey, what happened?” Lily asked as you opened the door.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You threw his hat on your bed and headed for the bathroom.

Jensen’s P.o.V.

“The answer was always going to be yes, J.p” he said as they walked off the elevator. “I just wanted more time with her.”

“And did it help?”

“Kind of yea.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “I guess in a fucked-up way. At least the truth is out now. Maybe y’all can work on being friends now.”

“I don’t think it will ever be the way it was. He said as they started across the street.

“Well maybe you should try to find a new way to be friends with her.” They walked through the doors and the bar was packed. “I gotta pee. I’ll be right back.” Jensen pointed at the bar and Jared nodded.

Jensen’s eyes scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

“She’s not here yet.” He sat down on the barstool next to Ruthie. “But she told me she was coming and she’s not one to break her word.” She took a drink. “You guys ok now?”

“Honestly Ruthie. I have no idea. I did something stupid.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me.” she teased.

“Oh, gee thanks.” He smiled.

“I was being malicious dear, just trying to say you do dumb shit when you’re in love.”

“Do you know?” Ruthie’s eyebrows creased, “In 5 weeks.”

“Yes, I know.” She sighed. “He’s an arsehole. I wish she would see it.”

“Really?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this.” She took another drink. “We’ll blame it on the whiskey.” She winked at him. “I know you would treat her a million times better. Hell, she probably knows it. She’s just letting the past scare her.” He opened his mouth, but she put her hand up. “I know Jensen. But you will have o prove it to her.” He nodded.

Jared walked back up and their phones went off at the same time “The cowboys won!!” Jared yelled, turning around. And leaning his back on the bar.

“Finally stopped that losing streak.” Jensen said as they bumped fists. “You want a beer?” Jared nodded. Jensen go the bartender’s attention “3 Coronas Please.” Jared gave him a puzzled look. “She’ll be here.” The bartender sat down the beers and Jensen handed him his card. “Start a tab.” The bartender nodded. “Thank you.”

“Dude.”

“You can send me your half later.”

“There she is.” Jared yelled and Jensen turned around on the stool. Damn she looked good. Tight jeans, white tee, He smiled when he saw she still had his hat on, but even with the makeup he could tell she’d been crying.

“How bout dem boys? Huh?” She smiled. “What are we drinking?”

“Whatever you want princess.” Jared teased.

“Tequila.” She turned around. “Bri. Come do a shot with me.”

“Hell yea.”

“Ruthie. You want one?”

“Not tonight boys. We have an early flight tomorrow.” She told them.

“I’ll take Ruthie’s” (y/n) said.

“I’ll do a second one with her.” Bri said

Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You’re gettin drink tonight huh?”

“I’m having fun tonight.” She smiled again

“Alright.” Jared counted. “6 shots of tequila please.”

The bartender brought over the shots with lime slices and a saltshaker.

Jared picked up the saltshaker “Hands.” Jared said and licked his own hand. The three of them licked between their thumb and index finger, then held them up to Jared. He poured salt where they licked. “Limes” he said as he handed them each a lime. “Shots.” He handed each of them a glass and brought his into the center of them. They clinked their shot glasses together as they licked the salt and then took the shot.

“Ready for another one?” Bri asked you

“Yes ma’am.”

Jared held out the saltshaker and the girls repeated the process. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the face she made when she took the lime out of her mouth. “Still not a fan of limes I see.”

“No not really.” She confirmed.

“I gotta pee.” Bri grabbed (y/n)’s hand and drug her to the bathroom.

Jared turned to Jensen. “She’s been crying.”

“I know Jared.” Jensen cleared his throat. “My fault.”

“Maybe we should just lock you two in a room and let you scream it out.”

Jensen chuckled. “Keep buying Tequila shots and it will probably happen.”

“I don’t know Ackles. She’s the happiest drunk I’ve ever seen. Might make the situation better.” Jared smiled deviously.

“Well judging by that smile, I guess we will find out.”

Reader’s P.o.V

“Ok spill.” Bri said as the bathroom door shut.

“What?���

She tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “the way you guys are looking at each other, ya know like you used to.”

“Bri. I’m supposed to be getting married in 5 weeks.”

“What?! You and Jensen. Oh my god final.”

“No not Jensen. His name is Brett. He works with me on the boys.”

“Oh. Why the supposed to be.”

“I don't know.” You told her about the conversation you had earlier today and the big fight you had before you came out. “When I told him I was going out with my supernatural friends, he lost his shit.”

“If he doesn’t make you happy. You need to call it off.”

“But everything has already been paid for and its not bad all the time.”

“Do you really want to get married because everything has been paid for?”

“You have a point.”

“Look just have fun with us tonight. Really let your hair down. You deserve fun. Tomorrow go home and hash it out with him. If you guys can’t come to an understanding, I’d say kick him to the curb. Deal?”

“Deal. Now go pee so we can go back to drinking.” She chuckled with you.

“Another round of shots?” Jared asked as you walked up to them.

“Maybe we should slow down a bit J.p.” Jensen suggested.

“Aw what’s wrong cowboy? Can’t handle your liquor anymore.”

He raised his eyebrow and gestured for another round. “Add another one.” Jensen told Jared as Lily walked up.

“Lily!!” You and Bri yelled together.

She smiled. “Really boys? I leave her alone with you for 5 minutes and she’s taking tequila shots?”

“I am a grown up. and I’ve only had 2.

“Bout to be 3.” Jared said turning around with the saltshaker. “Hands.”

“Can we get a lemon slice please?” Jensen asked the bartender. He sat the shots down and got in the fridge.

“Thank you.” You smiled.

The 5 of you repeated the took the shots and slammed the glasses on the bar.

“Bri!” you heard someone yell.

“I’ll be back.” Bri said and walked away.

You sat the deflated lemon slice on the counter. Leaning on the bar closer to him than you probably should have. “Is this for me?” You asked, pointing to the extra beer sitting by Jensen’s.

“Yep.” He said and picked his up.

“Well thank you.”

“No problem princess.” He teased and you squinted at him.

“How much time before they come on?” Lily asked.

Jared looked at his watch. “About 45 minutes.”

“(y/n), let’s go play a song” Lily said pointing at the fancy jukebox. You grabbed your beer and followed her.

“Really babe, Tequila shots?” she questioned you.

“Yes, Tequila shots. Lily, I have had a rough week. I want to have a fun night with my friends. So quit being a buzzkill and have fun with me, please.”

“Alright.” She walked up to the bar. You started scrolling through the songs. Lily came back over holding 2 shots. Your jaw dropped. “Let’s have fun then.” You clicked the glasses and took the shot. You turned back to the jukebox as she took your glass and returned it back to the bar.

“Yes!” you slid your card and tapped the song you wanted. You looked over at Jensen who smiled as soon as the music started. “His eyes are cold and rest” You sang “And his wounds have almost healed.” His smile got bigger.

“And she’d give half of Texas, just to change the way he feels.” Jared belted out making you laugh.

“She knows his loves in Tulsa.” You yelled back at him. Making your way back over to the boys.

“And she knows he’s gonna go.”  Jared said turning to you

“But it ain’t no women flesh and blood, it’s that damned old rodeo.” You and Jared sang loudly. Everybody laughed.

You turned to Jensen who was shaking his head. “What’s wrong Ackles, did you forget the words?” you teased him.

“No, just not 4 shots deep yet, darlin.”

“4?”

“Her and Lily snuck one without us.”

Jared shook his head at you.

You smiled. “Better catch up Padalecki.”

He looked over to Jensen. “2 more Jay.?”

“Come on Ross. Live a little.”  You gave him a cheeky grin.

He chuckled “Alright let’s go.”  He got the bartender’s attention and held up 4 fingers.

“Hello?” lily answered her phone. “Yes, Brett she’s right here hold on.” You rolled your eyes as she held her phone out to you.

You took it and put it to your ear. “Hey. Hold on.” You turned and walked toward the door.

Jensen’s P.o.V

“Who’s Brett?” Jared asked as he and Jensen sat their empty glasses down. Thank you for asking Jared. Jensen thought to himself.

“Another writer on the show.” Lily said as she stepped up to the bar and ordered a drink.

“Why is he calling your phone looking for (y/n)?” Jared asked clinking glasses with Jensen before they took the second shot.

“He asked if she was ok. She wasn’t answering her phone. She probably forgot it and didn’t want to go back up.”

“My tab.” Jensen told the bartender as he took Lily’s drink and held it out to her.

“Thanks Jay.” She said as she took it from him.

“No problem.” He grabbed his beer.

“Come on Ackles. Let’s go play some music.”

Jensen nodded and followed Jared over to the jukebox.

“Did she mention this Brett guy to you?” he asked Jared as he slid his card in the card reader. He picked a song “You’re up.”

“No. Why would she?”  Jared asked searching for the song he wanted. “Now You.” They switched spots.

“I don’t know. It just seems odd.” He searched for her favorite. Jared rolled his eyes.

“You’re over thinking it. you need to get out of that jealous ex-boyfriend headspace bro.”

“I know its just hard with her.” He makes the final choice. “Done.”

“Jared!!” Mark yelled from one of the tables.

“I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be at the bar.”

Jensen started back to his seat to find (y/n) sitting in it. “I think you’re in my seat little lady.”

She spun around to face him. “Well, ya know what they say about moving your feet.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re lucky.” He stood beside her leaning on the bar.

She smiled. “Or you’re just yellow bellied.”

He laughed. “I’d watch that mouth.”

“Oh, or what?”

“You really don’t wanna go there.”

She giggled. “So tough.” He smirked and shook his head.

He leaned against the bar and took a drink of his beer. “So, is everything alright? Lily said that Brett guy was worried about you.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Just that he’s another write for The Boys, you weren’t answering your phone, so he got worried and called Lily’s phone. Where is Lily anyway?”

“Bathroom.” She took a drink. “Everything is fine.”

“You know I know when you’re lying right?” Jensen asked and took a drink of his beer.

“I’m not lying we got into an argument, but everything is fine now.”

“An argument about what?” She stayed silent. “Ohh that’s him. huh. The guy you are supposed to marry?”

“Yea.” She sighed. “Can we not talk about it?”

“Thought we were trying this whole friend thing out?”

“So be my friend and drink with me. I wanna have fun. Make me forget my problems.”

“They’ll still be there in the morning.”

“Then I’ll deal with them then.” She took the last drink of her beer. “Or I can just got get Bri.” She got the bartender’s attention and pointed at her beer.

“Another for you sir?” the bartender asked as he sat down (y/n)’s beer.

“Yes, please and 2 more shots.” She smiled.

 “Oh of course you’d play this song.”

He smiled. “Mama told me, When I was young.” Her face lit up when he started singing, making his heart do a little flutter. "Come sit beside me, my only son, and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this it'll help you Some sunny day"

“Still got that pretty voice huh?”

“Guess so.”

The bartender sat the shots on the bar. “Uh what’s this?” Lily asked as she walked back up to you and Jensen. Jared was right behind her.

“Thought y’all were going do one without us?”

She looked at him and giggled.

“Add 2 more"

Reader’s P.o.V.

“Come on I wanna get a good spot.” Lily yelled.

Jensen grabbed your hand “follow me.” you grabbed Lily’s hand, and she grabbed Jared’s arm. Jensen led you guys almost to the front. You stood next to him looking down at his hand still holding yours. “Sorry.” He let it go.

You didn’t know if it was your feelings or the 6 shots of tequila you had, but you felt kind of disappointed. You shook it off. The band came out and the crowd went crazy. You couldn’t help but smile at Jensen as he cheered. Just as Rob started to sing some big muscle bond guy stepped in front of you. Blocking your view.

Then you felt his hands on your shoulders, pulling you in front of him so you could see. He dropped his hands, but you could feel him behind you. Lily came over wiggling her hips and singing along with the band. You downed the rest of your beer and started to do the same.

“Lily!!” you heard someone yell. You look over and Lily is dancing her way to Osric. You leaned back and found Jensen’s neck pulling his ear down to you. “Is your jealousy cured now?” you pointed over to them, they were dancing together now.

He brought his lips to your ear. “Almost.”

“What does that mean?”

"Still got one more to get rid of." He licked his lips keeping his bottom lip in his teeth.

Shit maybe the tequila was a bad idea. You couldn’t stop yourself. You had to fill his lips again. You pulled him down, smashing your lips together in needy desire. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Pulling you to him, you parted your lips and shivers ran up your spine when he slides his tongue on yours making you roll your hips. He let out a small growl and thrusted his hips. letting you feel his hardening shaft on your ass. Making you moan softly. He pulled back and spun you around. His hands found your ass and pulled you close again. And his lips were back on yours. Your arms slid around his neck. Pulling him into you just as hard as he was pulling you into him. He double tapped your right thigh, and you brought your knee up to his hip. Flames shot from your core as he hooked his hand under your ass and pushed his hardness into you. You trailed kisses up to her ear.

“You wanna get out of here Cowboy?

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[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | Part X

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

CHAPTER X WARNINGS/NOTES: t.w.'s - strong language, more angst, mention of dr*g abuse during childhood trauma, mentions of death and injuries, Max in a coma, fearful tears, shared sadness, major end-of-the-world terror talk. 18+

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As we dive deeper into just how in love Steve and Bauman continue to fall...we also dive deeper into darkness.

We get a glimpse into the childhood past of Bauman Squared.

Steve finally gets to laugh again with his kids -- and with the girl he wants to have his own kids with one day.

Dr. Owens comes back, but it's not why they expected. Erica is given the hardest burden of all. Robin & Eddie are the whacky aunt and uncle that everyone needed and basically get shit back on track while being thrown hard news. Argyle is actually just a kind dude. Nancy is pulling away, while Jonathan finally feels the gut-punching gravity of what he is losing. Jopper is still carrying the weight of both worlds.

And surprise, b*tches: DIMITRI IS BACK AND BOY IS HE SOOO BACK.

Lastly: chicken nuggets. That is all.

WHILE THIS IS A FANFICTION STORY: IT IS STILL MY WRITING. PLEASE RIGHTFULLY CREDIT ME WHEN REPOSTING OR SHARING. I DO NOT GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO POST MY WRITING AS YOUR OWN. - MISHA @sheisjoeschateau PROOFREAD UNTIL MY EYES BLED. IF THERE ARE STILL TYPOS, SORRY BOUT IT. 18+

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

OH SO WE DO LOVE STEVE | Chapter X

“Why do I feel like this is some sort of twisted intervention?”

Erica Sinclair stood in the kitchen next to Murray as he cooked up something to share with a table of adults and teens — plus her.

“In a way, it is,” Murray responded to her as he stirred his ingredients. 

“...okayyyy,” Erica sassed, suspiciously.  “...then why do you want me here but not my brother or my other friends?”

Murray rolled his eyes.  Erica’s attitude was truly the one thing that could bring Murray’s entire mental empire crumbling down like a tower of cards being blown over by a gust of wind.  He pointed his spatula in her direction.

“Think of it this way, kiddo,” he said through a wry, condescending smirk.  “It’s like getting invited to sit at the adults’ table instead of the kids’ table for thanksgiving.  And you’re the only one we’re inviting before you get to go up there and hang out with your little friends.  Alright?”

Erica narrowed her eyes.  “What do I need to know that they don’t?”

Sauce dripped from the spatula as he stared at her.  Christ, she was relentless.  Then again…at least she seemed somewhat perturbed by the idea of knowing things before her brother and their friends.  That was pretty damn selfless for Erica Sinclair.  She cocked an eyebrow at Murray — who squinted back at her.

“Okay, why are you not as willing about this as I thought you’d be…”

“Look,” Erica said, crossing her arms.  “If I’m going to be made to keep a secret?  I need to know all the facts first.  Especially if I have to keep it from my brother.  And Steve.  And Bauman.”

Murray sighed through his nose.  She was right.  Mature, and right.

“I don’t want you to keep it a secret for good,” Murray clarified, speaking slowly.  “I just — we just need you to be made aware of some things before we bring it to everyone else’s attention.  And truth be told?  Harrington needs a break.  So does my niece.  And your friends?  They need some time with mom and dad.  You do, too.  But right now?  You’re the party member in charge of taking on some big information before we spread it to the rest of them.  And quite frankly?  I’m counting on you to help me — and the rest of us — help break it to them.  Got it?”

Erica let all of that land, her guarded expression softening into one of civil understanding.  She pursed her lips, considering this.  Finally, she nodded.

“Alright.  Deal.”

Murray shot her a thumbs up, resuming his cooking.

“That’s really lumpy,” Erica pointed to his saucepan with a soured expression.

“Ohforheaven'ssake —”

__________________________

Robin had taken on laundry duty on Steve’s behalf, knowing that Jonathan intended to talk with him.  Which is why she’d asked Nancy to help her with it, and it has turned out to be a good thing.

Nancy was clearly fraying at the seams.  There was a lot going through her mind, and it was all spiraling fast.  She needed someone to talk to, but none of her options seemed safe. 

She had no idea how or when to break everything she had been feeling to Steve. 

Her relationship with Jonathan was so tense and strained, any conversation shared with him had just blown up. 

And her mom would need to know everything about the upside down, in order to give her proper advice…and at this rate, that option seemed to have no place in this world. 

She couldn’t go to Joyce, because that’s Jonathan’s mom. 

Hopper and Murray were out of the question. 

She wasn’t close enough with Eddie to even consider it. 

And Argyle?  Well, he’d said about as much as he could say.  Far more than what she’d expected, if she was being honest.  

Nancy’s only other option was Robin Buckley.

“God, I swear — the air’s a disease at this point.”

Robin had sat next to Nancy on the porch, carrying the laundry basket.  Nancy quickly wiped a few stray tears, which Robin pretended not to notice – even when Nancy shot her a very forced, tight-lipped grin.

“Yeah,” Nancy chuckled wetly.  “It’s uhh, yeah.  Plagued at this point.  Thanks, Vecna.”

Robin nodded with a smirk.  “Yeah.  Thanks a lot, Vecna.  Fuck you, man.”

That made Nancy giggle, which Robin was grateful to see.  She decided to start off slow, not wanting to force anything.  After all, clearly Nancy was clearly going through it.  And the way she and Robin had started off?  Not great.  Buckley was definitely not trying to push her luck.  Sure, the two of them had gotten along super well as time passed, truly becoming friends while living in Steve’s house.  But they weren’t exactly best friends.  Friends for sure.  But not like Nancy and Barb had been.  Not even close.

“You know,” Robin mused.  “Sometimes, I think back to high school and how…I never really had a best friend while I was there.  Not like you did.”

That made Nancy turn to look at her, curiosity radiating for her bright blue eyes.

“You and Barb,” Robin explained.  “You two were thick as thieves.  She always made sure to take extra notes in Click’s class for you.”

Nancy’s eyes shone with melancholy fondness.  “She did…?”

“Yeah,” Robin smiled.  “Always.  Saved them on little flashcards and everything.  She was always like, ‘I gotta make sure I get this for Nance.’  Or whenever something crazy went down in the classroom, I could tell she was just itching to tell you about during lunch or after school.”

Nancy beamed at that.  She shook her head, grinning widely.  “God, I swear… Barb was like — like that little old lady who couldn’t help but wanna gossip.  Even though she hated drama, she loved it at the same time.  As long as it wasn’t hers or ours.”

“That totally tracks,” Robin snorted.  “What an icon, really.”

“Schyeah,” Nancy giggled wholeheartedly.  “Yeah, she…she was the best.”

Robin watched as Nancy gnawed at her lip, feeling the wave of sadness wash over her.  

“I just wish…” Nancy murmured, voice shaky.  “Just wish that I could…talk to her sometimes, you know?  Not just to tell her how sorry I am.  For everything that happened before she…”

Nancy’s voice trailed off.  Robin dared to reach over and touch her shoulder, relieved when Nancy didn’t push her away or tense underneath her touch.

“I just wanna ask her questions,” Nancy’s voice shook.  “So many questions, like…like the way we used to.  As best friends.  About — everything.  Life, family, love…friends…the end of the fucking world…”

Robin nodded.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I know.”

Because Robin did know.  Whenever she had become best friends with Steve, it had made her world significantly brighter.  Her heart was full, and her soul had been lifted out of its constant anxiety-ridden state.  Robin had been so closed off to bonding with anyone, especially the likes of Steve Harrington.  Little did she know, that guy would end up being her truest best friend and confidant.  The one she could lean on, tell anything to and count on for the rest of her life.  However short that might be, given the end of the world… But she had Steve by her side, trusting him with every secret she had and her literal life in his hands.  

Barb had been that for Nancy.  But she was gone.

“I don’t know what to do,” Nancy’s voice cracked.  She looked over at Robin with tear rimmed eyes, fighting them from falling as she bit down on her trembling lip.  “About…anything.”

Robin kept listening, wanting so badly to go on a rant but willing herself not to.  Because right now, it’s Nancy who needs to rant.  She needed to ramble until she couldn’t anymore.

“I’ve been so…God, I’ve been so in love with Jonathan since we met and…got through all of this together.  It just…just...worked.  Clicked, made sense.  Way more sense than Steve, but — but Steve and I, we…what we had was…it was real.  Really real.  Even Barb saw it, she just — just didn’t want me getting hurt, or…losing myself for a guy.  But I didn’t really.  Steve never pushed me to do anything that I didn’t wanna do, or…wasn’t ready for.  Ever.  Not once.  He was kind to me, and…and I feel like…like I just… I think I’m the one who did wrong by him.  Not the other way around.  All because I just felt so…lost, and conflicted, and scared, and unsure, and…and…”

Nancy curled in on herself, tears falling down her cheeks as she ducked her face out of sight.  But Robin scooched closer to her, enveloping her into a comforting embrace as she wept.  And Nancy let her, allowing herself to lean against her.

“I told him what we had was bullshit and it wasn’t,” Nancy cried bitterly.  “It wasn’t, he's not -- I was just…so fucking mad that Barb was gone.  And it was easier to blame Steve, all because he wasn’t hurting the way that I was.  The way that I still am.  But that’s — that’s n-not — b-because he d-doesn’t…c-care…”  

Nancy’s shoulders convulsed, and Robin’s heart broke for her as she held her tighter.

“B-but Jonathan had lost Will, so h-he…he got it.  H-he knew wh-what I was…going through… And I-I j-just felt...so r-right with him.  Because l-looking at him didn’t remind me of…of…”

Nancy choked on a sob.  

Robin knew she meant Barb.  She didn’t have to say it.

“I’m angry.  For me, for Barb, for Steve, for Jonathan…my mom, dad, Mike…everyone.  All the time.  And I just d-don’t know what to do, because…Jonathan shut me o-out, and w-wanted to b-break up with m-me all because he felt like…he was…holding me back, and wouldn’t just t-talk…to me…and then S-Steve… Steve, h-he wanted me back b-but now…h-he…he loves…he loves…”

Nancy ugly cried into her palms, muffling the noise so that it wouldn’t be heard from anyone inside.  Robin clung to her, rocking them back and forth with some gentle, soothing shushes.

“He loves her, Robin,” Nancy cried, heartbreak and anguish lacing her voice.  “He loves her, and s-she loves him back.  S-so much…b-better than I d-did…and I…I should be…so h-happy for him.  And h-her, but I just…I just…wonder if I…did I…did I m-mess up…?  Did I lose the p-person I was s-supposed to b-be with?  I just didn’t…think he’d…move on…and that’s so…fucking SELFISH of me…”

Robin squeezed her.  “It’s not selfish.  It’s human.  Steve is amazing.  But Nancy…it’s okay that you didn’t go back to him.”

“But you thought I should,” Nancy leaned back now.  She looked at Robin dead in the eye with bloodshot, red rimmed eyes.  They swam in regrets, sorrows and bitterness.

“You and Eddie both thought that we should,” she said, voice croaked and upset.  “Y-you both…thought that we…shouldn’t have…broken up, or…”

“You’re right,” Robin admitted, feeling bad but deciding it was best to just own up to it.  “You’re right, I did.  We did.  Me and Eddie.  But Nancy…sometimes we’re just so distracted by what seems right…that we can’t see what’s actually right in front of us.”

Nancy looked at her quizzically.  Robin sighed.

“Look, when you left Steve,” Robin explained, taking her hand into both of hers.  “Back in senior year, and you got with Jonathan…you two had your own journey.  You had each other.  Steve?  Steve had no one during his — except for the kids…and Bauman.  Because back then, he didn’t know yet.  He didn’t know about her and Murray intervening —”

“Yeah, I know,” Nancy said bitterly.  “We all know that now.”

“Just hear me out,” Robin pleaded with her softly.  “I promise, I’m with you, alright?”

Nancy stared at her for a moment, finally softening her tense jaw and nodding once.  Robin picked back up, on cue.

“Steve still had a lot of growing up to do.  On his own.  Dustin was the first to reach out to him.  Well, he basically forced himself on Steve.  And Steve needed that.  He’s an only child.  He needed a little brother to give him grief, and boss him around and pick on him.  You have Mike.  Steve didn’t have that until Dustin wormed his way into his life." Robin added with a smile, " ...and his heart.”

Nany thought about that, expression pensive with realization.

“Then Bauman came along,” Robin continued.  “She was Steve’s age… You and Jonathan were off with the adults.  He got left behind to watch the kids with her.  They went through…a lot of shit that night.  You did, too.  But so did they.  They fought off Billy Hargrove.  They protected the kids, fought off the demodogs in the tunnels.  They survived the night together.  You know what that feels like.  You and Jonathan bonded that way.  Right?”

Nancy hesitates but looks back at her, sniffing.  Eventually, she nods again.

“Right," Robin exhales deeply, proceeding. "So Steve… Steve had someone his age to be around, along with the kids.  And that was great.  Because she’s independent and badass, but also really chill and down to earth.  Like, some sort of femme tomboy.  Which Steve lowkey kind of needed, she really was exactly what --"

“Robin, I get it,” Nancy snapped, not wanting to hear about you in a complimentary way.  At least not at this moment.

“No, hear me out,” Robin insisted, giving her hands another squeeze.  “You need to hear this, Nancy, alright?  You know you’re beautiful.  You know Steve has been helplessly in love with you for years.  That’s not even a question.”  

Robin paused, shifting gears again as she refused to let Nancy look away from her.  

“...but Steve had to move on.  Or���find ways to convince himself that he could.  And Bauman?  She was there for that.  She was around, during all his growth.  And trust me – it was ugly.  You have nothing to envy there.  God, the way that they argued?  The way Steve talked to her, honestly?  Honestly.  You would’ve slapped him.  I sure as hell did a few times.  Mostly verbal slapping.  But I hit him a few times, not gonna lie.  You’ve seen the highlights of Steve’s growth.  You have seen the best parts of him, but…but Bauman was there for all of it.  She got to see it all happen in real time, from the second you and Jonathan met back up with them to right now.  And she owned up to her shit, too.  It wasn’t her fault, by no means was it her fault.  But hey, she took the hits.  Many times.  And she still ended up falling in love with Steve, who she swore was the last person who would ever win her over.  Those two knuckleheads were relentless whenever I came into the picture.  Fighting like lovers in a quarrel with absolutely zero history of affection to show for it.  But still, they got through shit together.  They put their differences aside for the kids, and when it came to fighting off the Russians?  She and Steve honestly kept me so sane.  And they kept us safe, too.  Me, Dustin and Erica.  They didn’t get along in the real world, but in the upside down world?  They did.  They didn’t even think twice.  Steve grew into a way better person because of her.  And she opened up a lot more because of him, and the kids.  She didn’t grow up with siblings either.  That’s another thing they have in common.”

Nancy took all of that in with a solemn expression.  Robin let that sink in before continuing.

“I know this is…a lot.  But really, Nancy…so much happened while you were gone.  Those two fell in love over time without even knowing it.  Shit, we didn’t know it either.  That was a plot twist for all of us — including Murray.  Despite what he says, that guy does not know everything.”

Nancy scoffed.  “I know that.”

“Of course you do.  We all do.  He does, too.  Especially now.  Now that his niece and Steve are clearly so head over heels in love with one another.”

Nancy’s heart sank at that.  She knew that it was true.

“I’m not…” Nancy mumbled, eyes downcast.  “I’m not mad at her for falling in love with him.  Or him.  I just…can’t help but wonder if I messed up.  Missed out on someone that I loved more than I allowed myself to when we were together.”

“You couldn’t have loved him more back then, Nancy,” Robin corrected her.  “Because who he was then, is not who he is now.  And who he is now is someone that Bauman has played a huge role in him becoming.”

Nancy sniffed a few times, bringing her knees to her chest and lost in thought.

“Do you still love Jonathan?”

Nancy looked at her, surprised.  “What?”

“Tell me what you’re feeling there,” Robin pressed gently.  “Why is that going wrong again?”

Nancy got defensive.  “Um, what’s wrong is that he clearly planned on leaving me while I was back here being loyal to him.”

“Right,” Robin mused.  “But…what about after he got back?  What happened then?”

Nancy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t.  She thought about that for a while.

“We just…” she started.  “...we just…moved past it.  We let it go.”

Robin nodded slowly.  “After all you two have been through…knowing damn well that things need to be talked about…you both really thought that was best?”

“He doesn’t ever tell me how he actually feels,” Nancy snapped.  “I’m so sick of it.  I always have to push him to tell me things.  He just — shuts me out.  Clams up, retreats.  He won’t even tell me when he’s upset about something unless I make him.”

“Well then,” Robin nods.  “That’s definitely on him.  But what about you?”

Nancy scrunches her face in confusion.  

“Why didn’t you tell him how you felt either?” Robin asks, unblinking.

Nancy stares at her, not knowing how to answer that.

“I told him that I love him,” Nancy whispers.  “And that I…that we’re fine.”

Robin’s expression softens.  “Do you wanna be?”

Nancy’s face crumbles.  “I…I want…”

Robin waits, not knowing what to expect but knowing that it’s getting somewhere.  

“I want him to love me again,” Nancy cries in despair.  “I want him to fight for me, and — and love me the way that I thought that he did.  That he would.  That he always would —”

Robin holds Nancy again as she convulses with sobs in her arms.  They stay that way for a little while, allowing the dust to settle.  Nancy has said enough for now.  It would all unravel itself more over time. 

Meanwhile, Eddie had told Jonathan to make his way upstairs and talk with Steve.

“You’re on, buddy boy,” Eddie told him with a hard pat on the back.  

So while Jonathan made peace with Steve, Nancy had finally released some of her emotions and confided in Robin.

And now, all the adults were in the kitchen as Murray made some food for the older teens and Erica.  They’d asked Robin and Eddie to make sure that Argyle, Jonathan and Nancy were all going to be present for it, along with Erica before she could go upstairs and join the kids.

So here they all were now: sitting at the dinner table while Murray and Erica served them up plates and bowls of random foods.  

Jonathan had watched Nancy make her way into the kitchen with Robin, newly fresh faced and eyes puffy from crying.  She wore her pajamas now, having taken a quick shower and washing off the anguish from her meltdown earlier.  Jonathan’s heart cracked in two, and it did even more as Nancy went to sit next to Robin.  He stood up, unable to help himself.

“I got you a seat here,” he said, voice shaky.

Nancy had looked over at him, eyes cold and expression blank.

“That’s alright,” she said, voice level and cool.  “We share a room.”

Nancy sat next to Robin, demeanor cool and calm and collected.  She was stiff, but there was a chilling resilience to her that Jonathan had not seen in a while.  It terrified him, making his anxiety spike.  Had he lost her?  Was he too late?

He swallowed hard, accepting it — given everyone else at the table.  Hopper had awkwardly reached for some pepper as this was happening, working in slow motion as he felt really uncomfortable.  So Jonathan just nodded, and Joyce gave him a sympathetic look as she placed glasses of water and tea in front of everyone.

Eddie made concerned eye contact with Robin as he poured himself some water.  Yikes.

“I’ll sit next to you, my dude,” Argyle said warmly, knowing he needed to step in.  Jonathan was grateful for that, but still dying inside as he kept stealing glances at Nancy — who looked anywhere except his way.

Murray clicked his tongue loudly. “Alrighty then. Shall we?”

With a thud, he set down his plate. Joyce clenched her jaw but took a deep breath.

“Lay it on us,” Eddie said with a deep exhale, sitting down on the other side of Argyle. 

“Yeah, what’s this pow-wow and why is it just this group who's on it?” Erica questioned as she stationed herself on the other side of Robin. 

“Right,” Hopper sighed before shoveling a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and leaning back to chew, readying himself. Everyone waited patiently.

“Here’s the deal,” he began, leaning forward and eyeing everyone individually as he spoke. “No one here is being made to keep a secret. That’s not what’s going on.”

“So then why is it private?” Robin asked curiously. 

“Because right now…we need to set some things straight. Set in stone.  Before we dive into our group meeting tomorrow. Consider this…a board meeting of sorts.”

Jonathan furrowed his brow. “Don’t we want Bauman and Steve for that?”

Hopper sighed deeply, rubbing at his beard. “This affects them. And the kids.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows at that, feeling nervous. He looked over at Robin, who looked just as worried.

Erica scrunched her face up. “Then why am I here?…”

“Because I need one of you kids to be level headed and vouch for me,” Hopper explained. “And for Joyce and Murray. We’ve spent a lot of time figuring this out. Weighed out our options, talked to El about it.”

“Does she know?” Nancy asked.

“Some,” Hopper nodded. “Most… Not all.”

Erica leaned forward, truly listening and accepting that she was clearly going to need to stick with some sort of plan that her friends were not going to be keen on…

Hopper contemplated his next words carefully.

“Look. Tonight, I need those kids to rest. To laugh, play some card games. Eat too much candy, and just have a good night. Soak up all the fun they can get before this mandate goes into effect soon. And before we have to go forward with a plan.”

Hopper made sure that everyone was with him on that.  Off their nods, he continued.

“There’s two groups. One that’ll stay here, in hiding. Down in the basement, where we’ve already started making up basecamp. They’ll have to stay hidden.  Out of sight.  Quiet.  On high alert.  It’s a gamble.  Just because they’ll be home…it doesn’t guarantee them any safety.”

Hopper took a deep breath, eyes filled with dread.  He rubbed at the gap between his pinched brows.

“…the other group will have to risk getting back out there.  And we won’t be anywhere that’s not swarmed and completely surrounded by the government and — god-knows-who-else, before we can get ourselves back near the largest gate that’s torn itself open and is ready to swallow Hawkins.”

Everyone’s blood ran cold. 

No one was safe. They weren’t before, but now? Nothing was off the table. Everything was high risk, no matter where anyone was stationed.

“If you’re sitting here,” Hopper continued slowly, voice grave, “at this table, listening to this conversation…minus Erica and Murray...you’re in Group 2. ”

Nancy and Jonathan both felt their chests constrict, but they understood. It didn’t surprise them per se. And at this point, nothing should scare them. But it did.

Joyce looked at her eldest son, torn but knowing it had to be done.

Erica looked over at Murray, who gave her a soft nod.

Robin and Eddie looked at each other, along with Argyle, shuddering. 

“Dimitri is going with us,” Hopper added.

“Who’s he?” Jonathan asked.

“Russian soldier,” Joyce told him, holding up a hand to clarify. “He’s on our side.”

Jonathan hesitated but eventually gave her a small nod. He looked over at Nancy, who was staring down at the table with her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

“He’s got insight,” Hopper continued. “Knows what we’re dealing with, and how to handle what we’re all up against.  We’ll need as many of us as we can get out there.  Those of us who know the risks, and know how to navigate this world.”

Robin processed that, thinking. “So that…where does that leave Steve and Bauman?”

Hopper was quiet. The way he gnawed his cheek made it clear that this was where it got messy.

“Steve is on the frontlines with us,” Hopper explained carefully. “…and Bauman is stationed back here with Murray and the kids, along with Dr. Owens.”

Robin’s heart sank, and so did Eddie’s. They both shared a sad, all-knowing look.  They knew this wasn’t going to go well.  At all. They knew that Steve was going to flip his shit at just the idea of leaving you out of his sight.

“Won’t Dr. Owens have a target on his back?” Eddie asked, concerned. “Won’t that — won’t that draw more danger here…?”

That made Robin look at Hopper, wide-eyed. The retired cop looked pale, eyes full of dread.

“He has to be here in case anything happens to Bauman or Max,” he explains solemnly. “Because if shit goes south here…they’ll need to run.”

Jonathan felt sick.  This also meant leaving Will behind.  “But…how? How can they run?”

“That’s where I come in,” Murray chimes in. “Between me and Erica and Dustin, we’ll be able to keep a close eye out for a signal — which Will can help us navigate.”

“Because he’s still connected to it all,” Joyce explains sadly.  “He still…feels it. He senses when it’s near.”

“Which is why he’ll be able to give us a warning,” Murray nods, adding to Joyce’s input. “Since El has to be out there with you guys, we’ll still have a connected source that's here with us.”

“The kids can’t do this,” Hopper adds, tone firm. “Not this time.  El doesn’t count, as much as I want her to stay back.  She can’t.  I know that.” He looks at Erica with parental eyes.  “But as far as the rest of you kids go?  No more.  It’s already bad enough having to risk you all staying here.  But if this is how it’s gotta go down?  You’re staying where there’s a controlled space, with 2-3 solid abort mission plans — which Murray knows from top to bottom.”

Erica hangs her head, but she nods. She knows this makes sense. 

“As for Bauman,” Hopper continues, eyes sad. “She’s not able to get back out there. Between her heart issues and her bad shoulder and ribs…she has to stay put.”

“No, I agree with that,” Robin says, voice full of gravel before she clears it. “But, umm…I’m just…really worried that…well it’s just — Steve, he’s um, he’s —”

“He’s going to have to do this,” Hopper interjects, but not unkindly. In fact, it’s full of empathy and remorse. “He knows the ways. You’ll all need him. His stamina, his strength. He’s strong, good with a bat and can outrun shit.  He also knows what to keep an eye out for, whatever comes our way.”

Eddie gulps, partially because he’s terrified about facing the underworld again…but also because he knows that Steve will be a wreck the entire time he’s gone with them and not with you. And if Eddie’s being honest, the idea of leaving you and the kids behind is killing him too. He’s especially grown to love you and Dustin over the last year.

“This isn’t open for discussion,” Hopper says, voice firmer and tone low.  “Tomorrow, when we have our living room meeting, I’ll be conveying this to everyone…along with Murray and Joyce.  And I need to know I have each and every one of you on our side.  Those kids are going to raise hell.  All of them are.  And this plan is not changing.  It’s either this…or we all stay hunkered down until we rot.  Am I making myself clear?”

Nancy and Jonathan nodded first, quickly followed by Robin and Eddie.

“Yes sir,” Argyle spoke first, and for the first time he genuinely looked aware of just how heavy all of this stuff really is.  Jonathan gave his shoulder a quick squeeze.

“Erica,” Hopper was looking directly at the youngest person sitting across the table.  “I’m counting on you.  I know that’s not fair, but I am.  You’re tough as nails.  You’re gonna have to be that way with your brother, and his friends.  Your friends.  You'll have to be hard...but gentle enough to get it through to him.  I don’t care what you gotta do, you do it.  Whatever you have to say?  Say it.  And if anybody gives you shit for knowing this before they did…send them to me.  Understood?”

Erica looked back at Hopper with the most somber expression.  But she nodded.

“Understood,” she said, voice low.

Hopper gave her a curt nod before looking over at the older teens.

“As for you guys,” he said.  “We all know the shit that just went down yesterday at the fence.  Bauman’s always been at the frontlines with us.  She can’t be now.  And Steve cannot hang back.  He’s got too much strength that we can’t afford to not have on our side of this battle.  And I don’t care if Bauman insists she can do it.  She can’t, and she won’t.”

“And if she gets stubborn,” Murray interjects, voice fierce.  “Tell me.  If she tries pulling a fast one?  You tell me.  Capiche?”

Eddie and Robin quickly nod up and down.

“I’ll talk to him if it gets bad,” Jonathan says in a weak voice.

Nancy narrows her eyes at him.  Since when do he and Steve talk?

“Good,” Joyce says with a sad, tight-lipped grin and nod at her son.  “He’ll need it.”

"I'll be there for him, too," Robin nodded at Jonathan.

“Will we be able to stay in contact with them at least?” Eddie asks pathetically.  “Via the walkies?”

“When necessary...yes,” Hopper confirms.  “We’ll have to be scarce about it.  Selective.  Nowhere is safe.  It’ll have to be reserved for vital communication only.”

Eddie frowned, but nodded in understanding.  Robin was currently biting her palm, consumed with dread and sickening anxiety.  Leaving you behind?  The kids?  Even Murray, who everyone had come to appreciate in their own weird sort of way — mostly because of how much they all loved you.  He was an extension of you.  The whole situation just felt…fucked.

But wasn’t everything fucked?  Wasn’t this entire world so catostrophically fucked in every single which way, seemingly irreparable?  

Was there actually an end to this nightmare?  A world in which the upside down would cease to exist…monsters would go back to their storybooks and dark, twisted fairy tales…the moon would only ever symbolize light within forgotten darkness...and the sun would never hide behind the ashy debris that currently clung to the air, just outside their windows?

Despite how everything looked grim, with seemingly no end in sight…you all persisted in choosing to believe.  Yes.  Yes, this was going to end.

The end of the world was nearing.  It was inevitable.

But it wouldn’t be your world.

***

You never really put much thought into what having a family would feel like one day.

You’d wondered.  Every little girl does.  In young girlhood, there’s the beauty of innocence that protectively surrounds all grown-up dreams that fuel your wildest imagination.  The dreams of never having to go to school, and being in charge of everything you want.  The dreams of being able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.  The dreams of meeting your future husband, and getting to wear a big white, sparkly ballgown as you walk down the aisle to your happily ever after.  The dreams of being a princess in a big castle, ruling the land and having cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and tea parties everyday with your friends.

Sure, you’d had those dreams as a little girl.  How could you not?  It was inevitable.

But as you grew older, you didn’t really have a chance to fantasize about much.  You’d been made to grow up from a very young age.  Your grandmother had been there for you enough.  She kept a roof over your head.  Food on the table.  A very generous allowance, even though you never asked for one and you’d gotten yourself a job by the age of 13 painting peoples’ houses and doing yard work.  You’d even gotten hired by your uncle to do data entry for him, along with a couple of his contacts who did intense investigative research and needed someone to work remotely.  You earned your own living, and you did upkeep on your grandmother’s house — despite her never asking you to do so.  She was gone a lot.  She wasn’t very old.  Just a smoker who liked casinos and taking trips with her “friend” from time to time.  A woman, who she only ever referred to as her "assistant."  You knew better than to believe that, but you never said anything about it.  She was a closeted lesbian — which is why Robin coming out of the closet for you had been the easiest news to take, let alone support.  Your grandmother was a tough, long-acrylic-nails-donning boss bitch who did whatever the hell she wanted.  You’d gone with her many times to some casino resorts, mostly staying in the hotel room or just walking around the city.  It felt like living with a Mafia Mobwife.  It was cool, for the most part.  But it definitely meant being able to hold your own.  She’d raised herself when she was a kid — and in most ways, you did too.

It’s why you’d spent so much time with your uncle, who didn’t live very far.  He was home a lot.  Given his line of work, he didn’t go out much.  He became even more of a hermit as the years went on, and you liked that.  It meant consistency.  His spare room basically became your room.  It couldn’t exactly be considered a “guest room” when he never had guests over.  You’re the only person he invited over for company, and he loved it.  The two of you got along effortlessly.  His dark humor rubbed off on you early on, which your grandmother shared in but she wasn’t nearly as quick-witted as Murray.  That’s where you got it from.  But your dry, snarky wit was much more selectively timed than his.  He was all over the place.  You had solid social cues, given that you went to school and were around people often.  Your uncle was definitely an oddball.  But you loved him to death, and you got him better than anyone else did.

You weren’t babied.  You weren’t coddled, or sheltered, or given false hope about the world.  It’s why you held your own, and it’s also why you never victimized yourself.  It was to a fault, but you believed it was for the best.

So when Clark broke your heart into a million pieces, you told yourself it had been a risk from the start.  A gamble, just like the poker tables at those casinos that your grandmother frequented all the time.  Love was a dangerous game, and it spared no one.  There were winners and losers — and you’d lost this one.

But right now, in this moment, you felt as though you had just won every single jackpot that there was to win.  

Because right now, you were sitting in Steve’s lap on the floor of Max’s room in his big house, holding cards closely to your chest as Lucas screeched GO FISH at Dustin.  Steve’s hand was in plain sight, and if you were a cheater you’d have him beat in seconds.  But you didn’t need to win a stupid card game…because you had won the greatest game of all: life.

El and Mike were cuddled up close to each other, giggling and being young teens in love.  In a normal world, you would assume it to be puppy love between them.  But this world wasn’t normal, and the shit that they’d been through together wasn’t any different than what you and Steve had been through together.  It was real love, and you let them be that way.

Lucas was seated next to Max in her bed, holding her hand and laughing like a kid again.  Dustin was hoarding all of the candy from his backpack (so much for sharing) and laughing like a buffoon.  He bickered with Steve and the kids as usual, but something about it was just so…bright.  Hearty laughter bounced off the walls, and there were so many times that Steve had belly laughed — along with you and the other kids — that you’d all lost count.

Sometimes, you swore that you saw Max’s lips twitch.  As if she could hear you all in her coma, wanting to laugh along with everybody.  Lucas would talk to her as if she could hear you all just fine, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehead while showing her his hand in cards.  Dustin even gave her a sleeve of her favorite candy — just for her.  He might not have basic manners with the rest of you, but Max?  Always.  

Will was keeping score, seated next to you and Steve with the biggest smile you had ever seen him wear.  He laughed hysterically the entire night, even going as far as verbally expressing adoration for you and Steve.  Dustin would pretend to gag, but Will would just tell him he knew better than to think that the curly-haired smart alec wasn’t completely in love with the two of you being together.  Dustin had grinned all dopey and wide, rolling his eyes but not arguing with him any further.  

At some point, Mike suggested all swapping ghost stories.  

Lucas had barked the loudest laugh.  “How about the one we’re currently living??”

“Hey, hey,” Steve interjected.  “I got a better idea.  Tell your most embarrassing story.  One you’re scared shitless to tell.”

You'd grinned in his arms, snickering.  “Oh I got plenty of those.”

“I mean hey,” Dustin shrugged with a mouthful of candy.  “If we’re gonna die, we might as well get real.”

“Okay chill, we’re not going to die,” Steve scoffed, hiding his internal worry.

“It’s possible,” Mike shrugged, grabbing another bag of M&M’s.

Steve huffed.  “Dammit, Wheeler —”

Mike’s devilish grin was infuriating yet endearing at the same time.

“I wish Max could hear all of this,” El said with a tinkering laugh.

You gave her the warmest of smiles and a wink.  “Trust me.  She does.”

“Hell yeah,” Lucas smiled wide, squeezing Max’s hand.  “I’ll even tell one of her stories, for her.”

“...dude, she’s gonna kill you,” Dustin warned him, but there was a smirk lifting at the corner of his lips.

“I’ll go first,” Will announced, laying on his stomach as he ate some popcorn.  “One time?  I was asleep in bed but I woke up because I heard Jonathan moaning so loudly — like, disturbingly loud —”

“Okay, maybe I needed to lay down some ground rules here —” Steve starts with a very tight voice as you snorted into your palm.

“Just hear me out,” Will laughs, holding a hand.  “I thought it was with a girl —”

“William,” Steve scolded.

“But he was in the bathroom,” Will talked over him.  “Shitting his brains out.”

Dustin cackled while Mike audibly expressed disgust while laughing at the same time.  El looked shocked, giggling hysterically into her hand.

“Damn, that bad?!” Lucas roared.

“He lit every candle in the house,” Will cackled.  “Mom went to use it shortly after him and came barreling into our rooms to ask us in a panic what had died up one of our butts!”

Steve collapsed into you laughing, and you couldn’t even breathe from laughing so hard.  It was that sort of deep laughter that’s so painful because it’s quiet before you’re able to finally erupt with loud laughs that help you come down from a high.  All the kids were a fit of cackles and giggles, too.  Erica made her way into the room finally, jumping right into things and bringing cookies with milk.  All of you exchanged stories, allowing yourselves to only cry tears of joy.  It was exactly what you all needed, long overdue.

And for the first time in ages — none of you thought about the upside down, or the impending doom that awaited you just outside of the Harrington house throughout all of Hawkins.

That night, you and Steve tucked every single of your kids into their assigned sleeping bags and cots.  Lucas stayed with Max in her bed, asking you sheepishly if that was alright.  You’d nodded, along with Steve — more than approving.  And given you both would be chaperoning that night in the same shared room, you also let Mike and El cuddle up together in a sleeping bag.

“Hands outside of the covers, Wheeler,” Steve warned him, but he gave him a wink — adding please at the end.  Even Mike gave him a smile and nod, like a little kid who felt called out but also didn’t have any intention of disobeying.

Dustin and Will joked in high pitched voices about being bunkmates with their sleeping bags next to each other, given they were the two singles of the group.  Technically, Erica was too.  But even if she wasn’t, she would still demand her own space.  She had situated herself on the floor beside Lucas’s side of the bed, not planning to give him a hard time for a good while given what was in store for everyone tomorrow.

As for you and Steve — the two of you had stationed yourselves in the center of the room, closest to the door.  That way, you could see all your kids at any point during the night and also be the first to fight off any harm coming your way, should danger lurk on the other side of the locked bedroom door.

Steve ruffled Dustin’s hair as he dozed off, earning a sleepy little “hmph” from him.  After he made sure all of them were comfortably settled in for the night, he crawled over to you.  His nail bat was propped somewhere nearby — ready to be swung into action if need be.  But the need for it that night never came.

You curled into Steve’s chest, breathing in his clean, masculine scent and allowing it to fill all of your senses.  Sighing contentedly, you felt a rush of warmth wash over you as his lips pressed into the top of your head.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you more,” you murmured in the softest of whispers.

You felt him chuckle against you.  “Impossible,” he breathed into your hair, pulling you so close to him you might as well be the same body.

And had you not been so completely relaxed in his arms, you might have fought him on it.  The whole "I love you more" thing. In fact you definitely would have.  But you just hummed, dozing off in his strong arms and allowing sleep to find you.

***

Waking up had been beautiful. The sun was even more hidden than usual, plagued by the new world coming into fruition. But despite the lack of sunshine outdoors, you felt as though it shone through the entire room as all the kids woke up and whispered to each other. You pretended not to hear them when they talked about you and Steve. Because if you were being honest? You’d been dying to hear their uncensored thoughts. If they thought that you weren’t listening, they wouldn’t hold back from saying what was actually on their mind.

Turns out?  All of them wanted this. The two of you together.  They laughed about how some of them thought that Steve was going to end up with Robin at first. 

“No way,” Lucas shook his head in a confident whisper. “Those two? They’re like brother and sister.”

“Yeah, but Bauman’s so out of his league,” Mike whispered back.

“She is not,” Will added in a defensive whisper.

“She so is,” Mike whispered indignantly.

“No way, Steve’s awesome,” Dustin defended in a whisper.

“Yeah but like,” Mike whispered, pondering with a sigh. “I mean yeah. He is. I like him. He’s cool. Way cooler than I thought he was at first. But Bauman’s literally a badass. She doesn't care what people think.”

“Steve doesn’t care anymore,” Erica chimes in, speaking softly. She’s actually pleading Steve’s case and it’s adorable.  “He used to. But when we were down there with the Russians? And he had to wear that stupid sailor outfit for work?…”

“Oh my god,” Dustin snickered. “That shit was so funny.”

“He looked like Shirley Temple from the Good Ship Lollipop,” Lucas snickered back, and Will had to shush them so that they wouldn’t wake you up.

“My point is,” Erica continued with sass. “Steve doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks of him now. I mean…he gave her hell the whole time I was around ‘em.”

“I still don’t get that,” Mike whispered.

“Me either,” El added quietly.

“What do you mean?” Dustin whispered in confusion. “I told you guys the whole story. That once upon a time ramble I had to sit through when Murray basically went on to give us an entire rundown on the two of them?”

“Well duh,” Mike whispered in annoyance. “I know that. But dude…she’s…like, she's...”

“Hot.”

Everyone went quiet, and you stiffened as you held back laughter. Because the person who had called you hot?  It was El.

“Bauman is hot,” El repeated.

Eventually someone snorted. Then, they all did. You bit back laughter, blushing into Steve’s chest with your face kept hidden.

“You’re hot,” Mike added to her in a coy whisper.

“No, you are,” she whispered back sweetly.

“Enough,” Erica whispered definitively. 

“Max thinks that Steve is hot,” Lucas scoffed.

“He is,” Erica and El said at the same time.

“Hey,” Mike whined, and they all shushed him.

“Face it, dude,” Dustin whispered flatly. “He is. I wish I looked like him.”

“You look great, man,” Will assured him. “You got a girl like Suzy. You gotta be a stud to catch someone like her.”

Dustin had blushed at that with a wide, dopey grin. “Think so?”

After listening to them chat some more, eventually Steve started to stir. He’d told them good morning, to which Dustin all too happily responded with a very loud good morning back —- making Steve audibly groan and bite back curse words. The kids all snickered. 

Will started handing out drawings out to everyone. You all had been sketching and drawing together in your assigned room earlier the day before, while Steve had been getting Max’s room ready.  Will had told you all to draw a picture of someone else in the party. He’d even chosen who was drawing who.  

Will and Lucas drew each other.

Mike and Erica drew each other.

El and Dustin drew each other.

And you drew Steve, before he joined you all and eventually drew his original art piece of you while you all played a round of the Game of Life.

Here you were now: holding your drawing close to your chest, and wiggling your eyebrows at Steve. He gave you the most adorable smirk, his cocoa brown eyes still a bit sleepy and his perfect hair the sexiest case of bed head. He stretched, toned arms flexing and his white t-shirt clinging to his muscles in all the right places while being loose enough to wanna rip it off of him…

Not the time, Bauman, you mentally scolded yourself.

Steve had reached underneath his pillow to fetch his drawing of you, holding it to his chest and sitting across from you — crossed-legged and shooting you a wink. All the kids mirrored you both, sitting opposite their assigned art piece subject with throaty giggles and snorts. 

Will looked at everyone excitedly, like a proud art professor, ready for his classroom to partake in show-and-tell.

“Alright,” he smiled. “Everyone ready?”

“Yeah, you go first, Byers,” Steve nodded at him with an encouraging grin.

Will blushed. “Oh…well…I mean…I should go last. You guys first. On the count of 3, everyone turn your photos around to your partner.”

Mike snorted as he stared down Erica. “Howdy, partner,” he drawled in a fake accent. El giggled, and so did Lucas. 

Erica shot Mike a wry smirk. “Easy now, cowboy.”

“Bet you made me look like a total loser,” Mike snickered. 

“I don’t have to draw you to make you look like that,” Eric’s said in the most sugary sweet, sarcastic voice.

“Okay snarkbutts, settle down,” Steve scolded lightly in a groggy voice, no heat behind it. “Will has the floor. William: proceed.”

Will saluted him. “Alright. Count of 3.”

“Please tell me you gave me teeth,” Dustin mumbled lowly to El.

“One…”

El shrugged. “I dunno.”

Dustin narrowed his eyes. 

“Two…”

Steve gave you a coy look, asking in the lowest of mumbles, “How big’s my hair?” 

You grinned like a devil, your voice lower. “Not as big as your other best trait.”

Steve lifted a very cocky eyebrow with a deepening grin.

“Three!”

Everyone turned their papers around, and a soft silence fell over you all minus a few little reactive intakes of breath.

Dustin had drawn El with a million eggo waffles in the sky around her. She looked like the most adorable cartoon character, with anime eyes and full cheeks. Her hair was shorter, the way she’d looked back in ‘83 whenever she’d returned. But it wasn’t slicked back. It was free, curly and a little wild. Her smile was innocent and childlike, and there was a policeman in the back waving. Hopper. 

El had drawn Dustin with his signature cap and his big toothy grin — which made him beam, because she did give him teeth in the drawing after all. And in this drawing, there were bubble boxes above him that read all the quotes she associated with him, like Steve! and She’s our friend and she’s crazy! and Shit shit shit shit shit!

Mike had drawn Erica into a comic strip. He showed her as just a wee tike, then at Scoops Ahoy with an ice cream cone, then playing DND. The last image of the strip showed her with her arms crossed and a triumphant smile, with a banner behind her that read Welcome to the Party.  (…as Erica looked at it, she felt the most unfamiliar warmth seep into her bones and the joyful sting behind her eyes sent her into pure shock.)

Erica had drawn Mike on his bike, riding through the neighbor with his backpack and a flashlight. His dark hair blew in the wind, and there was a thought bubble above him with little heads that resembled all of his best friends.  Above him and the thought was a quote: “Mike Wheeler: nerd, snark machine and superhero to all.”  (…Mike felt so emo, he didn’t know what to do with it.)

You had drawn Steve in a very chic sort of hot anime-like way.  It honestly looked like an actual character that existed in an anime universe.  In the drawing, Steve held his nail bat in one hand and a McDonald’s happy meal in the other.  He didn’t quite understand that part at first — until he spotted behind him, there was a Winnebago.  Six familiar faces, very stick-figure-esque, stood there waving.  You also stood there, with a quote above your head: “six-piece nuggets, coming right up.”  Steve breathed the fondest of chuckles as he took it all in, wanting to laugh and smile and cry and tackle you with his kids all at the same time.

Steve’s drawing of you was more adorable than you ever thought him capable of drawing.  You were the cutest little cartoon, backpack over your shoulder with combat boots — but you were wearing the most beautiful dress.  It was yellow, which complimented the happy blue sky behind you.  Yours and Steve's favorite colors combined.  There was a big house behind you, with seven other stick figures that looked an awful lot like Steve and your six nuggets.  And right next to you, there was a dictionary-esque definition of you:

BAUMAN (Pronounced bow•men)

A professional love-life ruiner; cute but psycho; hardcore but soft; too smart for her own good; humor darker than the dark espresso she drinks straight, because she’s a sociopath; also hotter than said cup of coffee; terrifyingly beautiful from the inside out; my mortal enemy turned favorite person; the girl who makes everything make sense; someone I can’t fathom living without, and can’t believe I ever thought I could; the love of my life, in this one and the next and so on, so long as she’ll have me.

You had never felt so full in your entire life, and neither had Steve. The two of you just stared at each other’s drawings. Grinning, glassy-eyed, chuckling, aching, filled with every ounce of joy and every ounce dread — all at once.  Neither of you could speak, but neither of you had to. Your eyes, along with his, spoke volumes. They said everything there was to say, just as much as your sketches did.

Lucas had drawn Will in a wizard’s outfit.  He held a tall, majestic scepter — with a large hat on top of his head.  Surrounding him was a large swirl of colors, whimsical and light, painting a galaxy of sorts.  And in this galaxy, there were little floating stick figures with all his friends’ names above them.  Will was smiling in the drawing, with his hands in the air and on top of the world.  Literally, because in the picture he was standing on top of a globe.

As for Will...he had drawn Lucas at a basketball game. He was scoring the winning basket, and an entire crowd cheered behind him.  All of you were there.  Will was there, next to all his friends.  You and Steve were next to each other, along with his mom, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, Eddie, Robin and Hopper.  Even your Uncle Murray.  

And Max…that’s where Will’s drawing got unique. 

She was piggybacking Lucas, as he jumped and shot the winning score of the game, her laugh radiating through all the pens and crayons and markers that Will had used to sketch her.  She was alive, as were the rest of you.  Very much alive.

Just as you all were right now, inside one of Steve Harrington’s many bedrooms in his big house with no parents.  

No matter what doom was swiftly approaching — no matter what monsters were looming underneath the surface, and already roaming the real world — you all were together.  You had each other.

You always will.

***

Late morning upstairs has been kind to you.  It's been light.  Hopeful. 

There’s something about walking downstairs that makes the energy shift.  It sends an odd sort of chill up your spine, despite Steve’s arm draped securely over your shoulders as you wear one of his large gray hoodies with your bad arm in a sling.  You feel a certain pang in your chest as the kids follow you all down into the kitchen…but this time, it’s not because of your heart arrhythmia.

As Hopper and Joyce smile at you all in the kitchen, greeting you warmly and having prepared a table full of pancakes that had smiley faces decorated with whipped cream and chocolate chips and strawberries on top — something about the scene frowns at you.  A deep frown that you’ve seen on everyone’s faces whenever there is bad news waiting to be shared.

Your uncle is coming over to hand you a hot cup of decaf coffee, winking at you and Steve as he gives him a tight shoulder squeeze.  He’s moving past you both towards the man named Dimitri, who is walking in from the living room.  Murray brings him over to introduce you.

“Dimitri, this is my niece,” Murray grins.

You shake his hand firmly with your good arm, smiling gratefully.  “Heard a lot about you.”

“You as well,” the man says with a genuine smile, kind vibrant eyes and a thick Russian accent.  He’s definitely seen some shit.

“And this is Steve,” Murray gestures, a bit of a coy glint in his eye.  “Her boyfriend.”

Steve blushes, a soft smile gracing his features and shining through his eyes.  He wholeheartedly adores being called that out loud for the very first time: your boyfriend.

Your uneven heart skips several more beats, which typically would raise a lot of concern — but at the moment, you’re too fucking happy to care or pay it any mind.  You watch Steve flash his signature charming smile and reach out to firmly shake hands with Dimitri, who is looking back at your handsome boy with the widest grin.  The masculine exchange of lighthearted friendly words between the two men makes your stomach dance for some reason, especially as your uncle chuckles along with them.  

This is completely uncharted territory for you. Nothing about this moment is familiar.  But you could really get used to it.  It’s new.  And you adore it.

Dimitri meets the kids, who all take to him very well.  Especially El, who seems to already be familiar with him.  Likely because of Hopper.  Jonathan and Argyle are being introduced to him by Joyce, while Eddie is rounding the corner with a big stretch and yawn.  Steve shoots him a smirk as the metalhead makes his way over for a big ole bro hug, whispering something to him that makes Steve snort while Eddie grins like a devil.  Steve swats at him playfully, successfully smacking him as Robin walks in with Nancy close behind.  Steve’s quirky platonic soulmate makes her way over to you with a warm smile, swinging an arm over your shoulders so that she’s nearly headlocking you in a hug.  She’s a bit taller than you, by just a couple inches, so it gives her some upper hand.  You’re chuckling lightly, nose scrunched and tightly winding your good arm around Robin’s waist as you smile back at Nancy.  Her eyes are still sad, a bit lost.  But there’s no animosity there, at least not that you see.  She looks at you shyly, timidly…but with utter kindness.

Unbeknownst to you — Robin had suggested to Nancy that she stay with her last night in Steve’s room.  For Nancy, that had been…hard.  Necessary, but hard.  For multiple reasons.  For one thing — the last time she’d slept in Steve’s room, she had been his girlfriend. Being asleep in there 2 years later without him, now as his ex, brought back a flood of memories — bittersweet and haunting.  Being in his bed, twisted up in his sheets, felt wrong.  But she just couldn’t bring herself to sleep next to Jonathan that night.  Not yet.  Not after everything that had unfolded.  So Robin had stayed up talking with her, having a heavy heart to heart.  But it turned out to be exactly what Nancy needed.  Just what the doctor ordered.  Robin Buckley had unintentionally become a nurse of sorts over the last several months, and maybe even somewhat of a therapist.  Although — Argyle sort of had her beat in that department earlier that afternoon.  But he was the much simpler kind.  Whereas Robin got deep, given her innate gift at rambling until you were given no choice but to cut her off because your most honest thoughts were yanked out of you as you were made to listen to her ranting.  Nancy had cried some more, but she’d also laughed.  A comforting mixture of both smiles and frowns were shared between the two unlikely friends.  Robin wasn’t Barb, nor would any other girl be that kind of friend to Nancy.  Robin was very different from Barb.  However, her heart was just as loving.  She loved hard, and it showed.  She let Nancy pour her heart out, pouring some of her own out in return.  And somehow…somehow…it brought Nancy some newfound peace and understanding.

So as she looked at you now, having seen you come downstairs with Steve and the kids — now introducing yourselves to the new Russian house guest, and sharing a special connection with Eddie and Robin in a way that only settled couples so effortlessly did — Nancy could see something in the two of you that she’d not known Steve capable of being while she in a relationship with him.  And while she selfishly ached for her younger self who’d missed out on having that with him (and sometimes still found herself pining after), she selflessly began to feel happy for Steve.  And she even began to feel some happiness for you.  Not completely.  Not yet.  She couldn’t quite commit to making full peace with it all, given that healing takes time.  A very long time.  But as time continued to pass, which Nancy hoped you all would still be granted given the circumstances of the crumbling world, she knew that she would eventually get there.  

Murray and Dimitri were saying something funny, making Hopper and Joyce share a hearty laugh with the two of them while the kids were asking the new gentleman a million questions.  Steve made his way over to you and Robin, hugging you both — and Eddie threw his arms around all of you, resulting in fond groans and grunts from you all along with big smiles.

Nancy and Jonathan made unintentional eye contact as this happened, but Dustin shouting GROUP HUG! snapped their focus away again. The boys all bear hugged you guys while El and Erica were already pouring syrup onto their pancakes.

Eventually, you all sat down to enjoy a feast.  And while it tasted so deliciously sweet…the bitter aftertaste stemmed from looming doom that creeped just beneath the surface of your feet.  The energy shift was still felt, and despite the warmth of homemade pancakes and Steve’s hand on your thigh…your blood ran cold.

***

It was the early afternoon that finally unveiled the darker energy shift you had all been sensing since that morning, after you left the comforting quarters of your little family sleepover.

Everyone was now seated in the living room now — the way you always were, when it was time for you all to have a group meeting and listen to Hopper go over a plan of sorts or give a rundown to the household.  Except this time, Dimitri was here along with Dr. Owens.  It wasn’t like all the other times.  This was different.  Very different.

This one scared you.

Maybe they all should’ve. All these talks that centered around the end of the world. All these household meetings about the impending doom that came with said end-of-the-world. But somehow, you’d grown accustomed to them.  Comfortable.  It meant you were all still alive and that you all had something worth fighting for. And it had always meant there would be another meeting.

But there was an unsettling sort of feeling of finality to this meeting that set it apart from all the others.  And as Hopper stood with both Joyce and your uncle Murray…you felt goosebumps scatter up and down your arms and legs, regardless of Steve’s warm oversized hoodie and your leggings and socks.  Their faces were somber, a bit grim.  Murray kept his arms tightly crossed while Joyce fiddled nervously with her hands.  Even Hopper, ever the strong and firm type, looked nervous.  Maybe even afraid. 

They spoke all slowly, taking their time with why everyone was there — why Dimitri was now in the picture along with Dr. Owens — and what all needed to be discussed.  And the longer they spoke, the thicker the air got.  Tension spread around the room.  It was especially evident as none of the kids were making a sound.  They hadn’t uttered a single word.  Not one of them.  The adults had the floor, and when they asked Dimitri to stand with them, you all knew this was going to go in a bad direction.

So when they all told you the plan, looping Dr. Owens into the picture and why he not only was here for this talk — but here to stay — the gravity of the current situation landed.

You all felt your souls plummet to the deepest depths of your stomachs with a hard thud, as Hopper revealed two large whiteboards.  They both had entirely different detailed layouts…and beside each one, there were two separate lists of names.

One list of names would be at the frontlines.  The people who would be diving head first into the upside down and all of its perils. 

One list of names would be hiding out here.  The people who would maintain home base, helping operate things from the other side in the real world, while risking the chance of being found, caught and killed.

Both sides were at risk.  Both teams could die.  Both groups might not ever live to see another day, or each other, ever again.

As Steve stares at your name, along with the names of all of his kids aside from El, on the opposite whiteboard from his own name…he feels bile rising in his throat.  His stomach twists into knots, deeply tangled with unbearable anxiety and anguish.  His mind races, but his lips don’t move.  Fear paralyzes him, rendering him speechless as the adults keep talking and gesturing to the boards.  The castle on a cloud that his dreams have just began to build for the two of you, walls high and protecting you both along with his kids — his family — was drifting away from him.  And all he could do was watch it drifting further and further away, into the void, as he stared into space.

You felt his grasp on you instinctively tighten as his muscles stiffened.  Steve was rigid against your back, and you were grateful that he couldn’t see your face right now.  You were sitting between his legs on the longest part of his couch, facing the same direction as you took in the whiteboards while absorbing all the information that was being relayed to the group.  With a harsh swallow, you risked peeking at everyone else’s reactions — quickly scanning the room with your eyes.

Mike’s usually sour expression looked far more sad than it usually did.  He only ever looked like that when El was in danger, or things were spiraling out of control.  He sat on top of the coffee table with his elbows in his lap, crouched forward and staring a hole into one of the whiteboards.  Dustin’s mouth was agape, and his unusual silence was loud.  He hadn’t said a word from where he sat on the couch next to Erica.  Will sat on the other side of Jonathan, brow furrowed and heart blue.  He knew the risks being taken, and it hurt his soul seeing that he would be apart from his mom and brother.  He felt as though he always had been, ever since this all began, and it seemed to be a never ending circumstance.  Lucas was taking it all in from his seat on the leg of the couch, hands wrung and expression reserved — but defeated.  He’d really grown into a young man this past year, and he’d been taking so much in stride.  But even so, he looked conflicted.  Really conflicted.  

After taking in the kids’ reactions, your eyes swept over to Robin and Eddie.  She was seated in the giant loveseat, per usual, with Eddie perched on the arm of it.  You narrowed your eyes as you caught sight of Robin fiddling her thumbs, eyes darting up and down from her fingers to the adults with the whiteboards.  Eddie was bouncing his knee anxiously, nibbling at his fingernails — which were already bitten to stubs.  While the two of them looked to be taking this hard, the way that the rest of you were…they also seemed to be absorbing it a bit differently.  As if maybe they had a hunch about it already…

It wasn’t until Erica stood up to sit by Lucas with zero prompt that you felt slightly suspicious.  Because as she did, Robin shot a very quick tight-lipped smile in Erica’s direction with eyes that radiated sympathy.  Did they know this was coming?  Is that why Erica had come upstairs with the cookies and milk later than the rest of the kids?

You sighed through your nose, focusing back on Hopper as he gestured for Dr. Owens to stand up with them.  The older man made his way to the center of the tense room, hands dug deeply into his pockets and wearing a very sympathetic smile.

“I’m really grateful you all have put a lot of faith in me, despite everything,” he said humbly.  “Truthfully, it’s not owed.  I know that.  Still…I promise you’re in good hands with me.  Not those guys out there.  Hence why I’m here.  And I know you’d have already figured out by now if I was still working for that side of things.  Between El and Will, and all of you crazy smart folks, I’m outnumbered.”

He added a light chuckle at the end that nobody returned.  Dr. Owens sighed, taking no offense.  He knew this was not going to be taken well.

“I’m in this fight with you,” he said, stronger than how he spoke before.  There was conviction in his tone that he never really used, and it only heightened just how severe things currently were.  “If it were up to me?  None of you would be out there.  I’d be out there on the frontlines.  But…given Max’s comatose state, and Bauman’s heart condition, I know I’m needed here.  Which is just as big a risk that’s being taken out on the battlefield, because we’re staying in Hawkins as the evacuation notice and mandate goes into effect.  The city will be swarmed with government officials who are all behind this.  We’ll be surrounded from all angles.  No one is safe.”

You’re pretty sure that Steve had stopped breathing at this point, and the veins that prominently stuck out from his arms tightly wound around you made your throat close up.  

“I’ll be here to monitor Max, along with Bauman.  I’ve got plenty of medication to help steady the heart arrhythmia, and anything vital needed for a medical emergency — on anyone’s behalf, not just Bauman’s and Mayfield’s.”

“But…what happens if…”

A tight voice made everyone’s heads whip in its direction.  It was Dustin speaking, eyes wide with fear.  He wasn't being his usual cocky, overly confident self.  He looked and sounded genuinely fearful.

“…what happens if we’re caught?  What do we do?  Where do we go?”

Murray sighs, stepping forward.  “We’ve thought about that.  Right now, there’s only 2 options.  But they’re solid.  The best we’ve got right now.  One more than the other.  See, look —”

Murray went into detail about an abort-mission plan, but it sounded distorted in your ears as the gravity of the situation weighed down on top of your shoulders: you were all splitting up.  And this time might be the last time.

At some point, Mike had started to finally come to life.  His snark was returning, but even he wavered and the fear in his voice wasn’t concealed.  Hopper and El had to level with him, which only flustered Mike and caused him to stutter.  They had him beat, and he knew it.  He wanted to storm off, but Erica had told him to sit his ass down and listen.  It was so unexpected that he did as she said.  But your own brain was playing it all in slow motion.  As Will began asking questions with Dustin, you could see how Lucas had looked like he wanted to ask Erica if she might have already known something — but he didn’t.  Dr. Owens was saying something about Will being tied to the other side of things and being the assigned “El” of their group opposite of her, which fired up Mike as he demanded to know why the hell that required him to be out of the group heading to the frontlines alongside his girlfriend.  Before Hopper could even respond, Eddie was jumping into action along with Jonathan — coming to the retired cop’s defense.  That only bewildered Mike more, which fueled Dustin’s confusion into high gear as he made arguments alongside Mike.  Lucas had thrown his voice into the mix, but when Erica’s was louder — telling them all to listen, for the love of god listen, and Lucas stared at her in silent bemusement.  Will was weakly pleading with them all to please calm down, along with Joyce, who shot Argyle (of all people) a desperate look, and he made his way over to sit down next to Will and tell him it was going to be alright.

“NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS ALRIGHT,” Mike cried, angry and sad and scared in the way a child made to grow up too soon has every right to be.

“Mike, please,” Nancy’s voice trembled, her blue eyes glassy.

“Nancy, this isn’t okay!!!” Mike wailed.

“M-Mike,” Nancy stammered, her own emotions giving her a shake she couldn’t stop.  “Just l-listen to me…”

“No, you never listen to me!!!” Mike bawled.  “Never!!!”

“Hey hey, Wheeler, hey.”  

Steve finally found his voice as he reluctantly made his way to stand up away from you and approach his kid that was having an absolute breakdown.  Mike was still wailing, but as Steve approached with an unwavering look in his eye — baby Wheeler allowed for the group's assigned babysitter to actually place his hands on his shoulders and try to level with him.  Mike’s face crumbled, his words not making any sense the more he stumbled over them.  All that could be made out was something he was trying to say towards El — something about why and how could you and tell them I’m coming — which made Steve get a firm grip on his shoulders as he told him not to blame her for this.  After all, Steve had all the experience in the world as far as wrongfully placing blame on someone else was concerned…and it made your entire body ache as you watched him soothe Mike, who just bawled and mumbled nonsense in his hold.

El began to cry, too, leaning into Hopper — whose bottom lip trembled.  He bit down on it hard and willed it to stop, his eyes overwhelmed with everything that was unraveling before his eyes. 

Dustin was going back and forth with Erica, but he sounded so pitiful it made your uneven heart crack.  He kept looking over at Steve, begging him to understand.  Please Steve, please, let me go with you.  Eddie moved to immediately hold him, crushing him in more of a death grip than a hug.  The metalhead mumbled into his curly hair — not this time, kiddo, not this time.  Robin had a hand clamped over her mouth, emotions taking over as she barely managed to bite them back.

You stood up instantly, moving to hold Buckley.  She didn’t hesitate to make room for you on the seat, letting you take her in your arms as she shook like a leaf.  You gently swayed her side to side with you, murmuring quiet little words that were meant to be comforting — knowing they weren’t, but offering them anyway.

Your eyes met Jonathan’s across the room as he swayed with Will as well.  His pupils were blown, consumed with dread and drowning in pure misery, and you knew that yours weren’t much different.

Mike had buried his face into Steve’s chest at this point, and it made Nancy cry into her own palms as she curled in on herself.  

“I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice cracking at the end.  She looked at Hopper and your uncle, eyes guilty and full of shame.  “I - I’m sorry.”

Before you could even process what just happened, Nancy was barreling up the stairs.  Jonathan watched her go, panicking.  He looked at Will, then at you — eyes pleading.  You didn’t even let a second pass before you’d squeezed Robin to signal her, standing up to bring her over to where Will was seated.  You took Jonathan’s place as he went after Nancy, holding him tight as Robin leaned against you on your opposite side.  Argyle kept a kind hand on Will’s shoulder, still sitting to the other of him.  

“Steve, please, you die I die, remember?”

Dustin’s whimpered words had to have been the saddest plea you’d ever heard in your life.  Steve almost broke but before he could he flung an arm to sweep Dustin into his hold, as baby Wheeler kept bawling into his chest.  He held them both steady, letting them fall apart in his protective arms and doing everything in his power not to break down with them.  He couldn’t.  If he did, he’d failed them.  But to Steve’s dismay…he did anyway.  He ducked his head down, shaking against the two of his kids, letting himself silently weep with them.  For them. 

Lucas looked utterly heartbroken, which Erica noticed.  The youngest Sinclair cast aside all her pride, looking at her older brother with the most sympathy and love she could have towards anyone in this world, and she threw her arms around him.  He only let it shock him for a second before he held her back, a grateful silence falling over them both.  

You felt tears of your own begin to brim your eyes, but before letting them fall you looked up towards the adults…seeing your uncle first.  Murray looked back at you with every ounce of empathy and solace that could be found inside his dark soul. 

You gave him a soft nod, silently communicating with him.  I understand.  I’m sorry you had to deliver this news, but I’m here and I understand. 

And he returned the soft nod, lips pressed into a thin line but communicating back through eye contact and body language.  I love you and I hate this.  But I’ve got you.

Dimitri stood next to him, eyes somber and downcast.  He was new to the picture, but having seen the other side of things and just how bad a toll this has clearly taken on you all — he mourned for everyone’s pain. 

Dr. Owens had to sit down, unable to speak and wringing his hands.  

Hopper and Joyce held each other, along with El.  They looked at each other, devastated but steadfast.  

This plan was not open for discussion.  

This plan was not open for debate.  

This plan was final.

And so you let the tears crawl over the edges of your eyes, feeling them skate down your cheeks as you clung to Will and Robin and felt the world sit on top of your shoulders.

***

-- so as you can see, shit's getting intense. the gut-wrenching angst approaching has me overwhelmed but I'm so sickeningly happy about it. suffice it to say, Steve & Bauman are my Roman Empire and they are endgame. so if that gives you any sort of hope, given the inevitable doom that is in store for them and everyone else involved...then yay.

<3 this story forever lives on. forever and ever amen. - misha

TAGLIST (ILYSM) If I forgot you or you wanna be added, lmk :)

@aloneinthehellfire @xprloki @erastourvip @get0ut0fmyr00m @Eddiemuns0nl0ver @marrowfrog00 @poppet05 @wiltedflowersundertowers Originalthingparadise Pleuviors pumpkinonice Ihaveproblemsihaveproblems Brinleighsstuff Definitelynotherr sucker-4-angst bookkeeperlove notlilyyyy @goosy-goose nevillescomslut

[trofysisters]

Алешка

Красавица Манана была готова плясать от радости, поскольку ей удалось довести Алешку до ЗАГСа, и он даже принял неизбежное. (The beautiful Manana was ready to dance for joy, since she managed to bring Alyoshka to the registry office, and he even accepted the inevitable)

Пить в ее положении было нельзя, поэтому во время тостов она ела. (Drinking is prohibited in her condition, so she ate during the toasts)

Первый танец молодоженов не могли омрачить даже странности некоторых гостей. (Even the oddities of some of the guests could not spoil the newlyweds' first dance)

Традиционное разрезание торта и кормление мужа самым большим куском осталось без внимания гостей из-за котика, ведь он такой милый. (The traditional cutting of the cake and feeding her husband the largest piece went unnoticed by the guests because of the cat, because he is so cute)

Красавица не была столь самонадеянна, как другие жительницы города, поэтому решила рожать в больнице, и сразу после возвращения домой она вызвала такси. (The beauty was not as self-confident as other residents of the city, so she decided to give birth in the hospital, and immediately after returning home she called a taxi)

Хоть больница была муниципальная, но под руководством Эдуарда она стала лучшей. Даже в общей палате было чисто и уютно. (Although the hospital was municipal, under the leadership of Eduard it became the best. Even the general ward was clean and cozy)

Утром на обходе молодой врач, похожий на интерна, определил, что состояние Мананы и ребенка хорошее. Однако из-за неопытности молодого врача Эдуард поручил принимать роды другому врачу (In the morning, during the rounds, a young doctor who looked like an intern determined that Manana and the baby were in good condition. However, due to the inexperience of the young doctor, Eduard assigned another doctor to deliver the baby)

и правильно сделал. Молодой врач сплетничал с работницей регистратуры о том, что должно оставаться врачебной тайной, и чуть не упал в обморок во время родов. (and he did the right thing. The young doctor gossiped with the receptionist about something that should remain a medical secret, and almost fainted during labor)

Родившегося мальчика назвали Миша, а в Алешке проснулись отцовские чувства. Дома он сам менял малышу подгузники, укладывал спать и кормил, пока Манана отдыхала. (The boy was named Misha, and Alyoshka's fatherly feelings awoke. At home, he changed the baby's diapers, put him to bed, and fed him while Manana was resting)

Вот только красавица внезапно решила, что им обоим пора худеть, и начала кормить его салатами. Алешка же считал себя и так красивым. Недаром он светский лев. (But the beauty suddenly decided that it was time for both of them to lose weight, and began feeding him salads. Alyoshka considered himself handsome as is. It's not for nothing that he is a Professional Party Guest)

[funkytownwinchester]

SPN Gif Masterlist

Parallels

Jack and Cas - "I love you. I love you all."

Sam and Dean - "I can't do this alone."

Dean - S01 vs. S12

Misc (Actors)

Jensen and Jared pose for the camera

Jensen and Jared dancing/striking poses in blooper reels

Jensen's smile

Jensen winks at the camera

Jensen laughing in bloopers - part 1

Jensen laughing in bloopers - part 2

Jared laughing in bloopers

Misha laughing in bloopers

Jared looking good

Dancing in the cage

"I've got dialogue."

Jared's social media joke

Jensen squishing Jared's arm

Jensen throws a bottle at Jared's head

Misc (Characters)

Out of context reaction images

Sam helping Dean through moments of anxiety

Dean cradling Sam's face

Dean's nicknames for Cas

Crowley poses

Dean opens Sam's beer

Cas flirts with the camera

Dean's little wiggle

Cas and Dean dancing

Smiling family

Dean fights a pillow

"Why were you praying to him?" / "'cause he's my friend."

Dean eating a powdered donut

Dean clings to Sam

Dean's knees stop working

Dean in a vest

Dean tackles Sam

Click 'keep reading' for a list of all my gifs, separated by seasons.

Season 1

S01E01 - "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."

S01E01 - Sam and Dean interview two girls in a cafe

S01E01 - Dean's boobs

S01E05 - Dean smashes the mirror terrorising Sam

S01E14 - Dean being a big brother to Sam

Season 2

S02E03 - "Lighten up, Sammy!"

S02E04 - Sam and Dean, the grief counselors

S02E09 - Dean refuses to let anyone hurt Sam

S02E10 - Ava attends therapy

S02E15 - Conjoined twins

S02E19 - Dean gets his mugshot taken

S02E19 - Dean and Sam bicker in front of Deacon

S02E20 - Dean escapes his djinn-cursed reality

S02E22 - "You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Season 3

S03E03 - Sam loses his shoe

S03E06 - Dean loses it when Bella has his car towed

S03E07 - Dean gets fed on and tossed around

S03E11 - "Rise 'n' shine, Sammy!"

S03E11 - Dean asks if a bra he found is Sam's

S03E11 - Sam makes it to Wednesday for the last time

S03E14 - Dean's little eyebrow wiggle

Season 4

S04E08 - Dean says 'please'.

S04E10 - Alistair chokes Cas

Season 5

S05E03 - Cas calls Raphael a little bitch

S05E07 - Dean's happy dance

S05E08 - Son of a bitch

S05E14 - Endverse!Cas laughing at everything that pisses endverse!Dean off

S05E17 - "Don't ask stupid questions."

S05E22 - Cas, the little angel

S05E22 - Dean's not gonna let Sam die alone

Season 6

S06E03 - Dean prays to Cas

S06E11 - Bobby's suicide joke

Season 7

S07E02 - Dean talking Sam down during hallucinations

S07E09 - Dean gets drugged by a sandwich

S07E21 - Cas giggles

S07E21 - The aftermath of Cas taking on Sam's trauma

Season 8

S08E04 - "Do I really say awesome a lot?"

S08E05 - Benny bickering with Cas

S08E10 - Cas is tormented

S08E20 -Dean asks Sam to punch him

Season 9

S09E05 - Dean hopes to interrogate a canine witness using a spell that lets him speak with animals

S09E11 - Sam the guinea pig

S09E11 - "It's the bloody mark of Cain!"

S09E15 - Thinman tries to kill Dean

S09E16 - "You don't know what it's like to be human!"

S09E22 - "I got this."

S09E22 - Cas and word play

Season 10

S10E02 - Demon!Dean looking hot.

S10E05 - "I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch."

S10E06 - Murphy's law

S10E08 - Dean's pretend job

S10E14 - Dean collapses on Sam's shoulder

Season 11

S11E03 - Cas collapses from the attack dog spell

S11E16 - Bobby asks if Rufus has ever been nice

S11E16 - Sam holds Dean

S11E19 - Dean teases Sam for smoking in college

S11E21 - Dean informs Sam that he's babbling

Season 12

S12E09 - Cas doesn't regret saving the Winchesters (part 1)

S12E10 - Cas doesn't regret saving the Winchesters (part 2)

Season 13

S13E08 - Someone insults Sam in front of Dean

S13E18 - Ketch cares for Dean

S13E16 - "Be like Elsa; let it go."

Season 14

S14E03 - Dean makes fun of Sam's beard.

S14E04 - Sam's messed up childhood.

Season 15

S15E01 - Dean tells a joke while cleaning Sam's wound

S15E08 - Cas being sarcastic

[mdhwrites]

The Tragedy of Yanqing

It's fascinating that if you look at Yanqing, it becomes actually really obvious really quickly that he's mocked not for being weak but for being awkward.

Yanqing's buffs by all means should make him a MONSTROUS Hunt character. He gives himself a 10% speed boost on Crit, he deals extra damage to ice weak enemies and, oh yeah, HAS A 20% CRIT RATE BUFF AND 30% CRIT DAMAGE BUFF. And that's without getting into the 60% crit rate buff on his ult or his follow up that can freeze. These are all really good buffs for a damage dealer on top of just having the correct percentiles to work as a DPS... So why is he a laughing stock?

Well, it's because unlike most DPSes, your sustainer doesn't just matter but is CRITICAL to him working. He is by a wide margin one of the most rigid characters to build a team around for. It all comes back to those big crit buffs of his for why. If you don't know his main mechanic, it's that after he uses his skill, he enters Soulsteel Sync, a buffed state that gives him those crit buffs and that make it so when he attacks an enemy, he has a chance to do a follow up that itself has a chance to freeze. It has one turn of windup but then can last forever... With two major caveats:

1: He never stops using his skill. The buff only lasts one turn. That is BRUTALLY rigid but not really all that untenable as most DPSes want to be using their skill every turn regardless. No, the bigger problem is

2: He can never take damage. Period. If he takes damage, he immediately loses the state and has to re-activate it. He HAS to have a preservation sustainer because they create shields which protect an ally from taking direct health damage, which is what Yanqing cares about. Hitting a shield doesn't do anything to him. However, until Aventurine, your options for that were... Imperfect. March 7th drew aggro to him, which he doesn't want. Gepard only shields on ultimate which means if you're doing most hyper carry strats, it's very easy for Yanqing to lose his shield and Preservation Trailblazer... Well, the shield isn't always strong enough to take a hit without a well built one and even then, it only lasts two turns, which doesn't work at all with hypercarry Bronya strategies.

It wasn't until Aventurine came out that he had a sustainer who could genuinely allow him to work in a smooth manner and by then, we have to face two inherent things about the game.

1: Powercree-

No. Not that. Design shifts in the game have led to new DPSes mostly being stronger but that's largely in part because you get a LOT less traces like Yanqing's that gives him 20% effect resist while in his buffed state. The game learned better what its goals were which is why you can feel very real design differences between 1.0 characters and even 1.6 characters. No Hunt character since 1.0 has gotten the aggro reduction trace that at least three? Characters from 1.0 had because survival elements on your DPS have been mostly abandoned. Hell, one example of this is how a lot of 1.0 ice characters, one of Yanqing's eidolons included, expected freeze to be MUCH more prevalent than it was for adding additional damage.

No, instead, it's much more:

1: Ice has been entirely absent. Most enemies in fact resist ice instead of being weak to it and this isn't surprising when you remember that from 2.0-2.7, MISHA was literally the only ice character released. I know someone who adores Jingliu who has been struggling under her damage just getting cut by this lack of enemy weaknesses that came with the extreme fire focus of 2.0. This would naturally hurt Yanqing's options.

2: He's Hunt. The only Hunt team that still gets respect is Follow Up and that's because their response to Hunt's limited action economy of single target attacks is just to add more attacks on top anyways. Even then, plenty of hyper carry Hunt characters can do just fine. My understanding is people still rock Seele against MoC and win out because they've put in the work to make her work despite her not having had a dedicated support in so long. Hypercarry Hunt though definitely struggled in the more synergy focused era of Penacony where Bronya hypercarry finally took a backseat to full team wide strategies. Remember: We didn't get a new Bronya until Sunday and unless you have a summon, Sunday still gives less damage% than Bronya. Crit damage hyper carry just hasn't been the game's focus for a while so someone like Yanqing will suffer in that environment.

So when we finally got the sustainer who could work with Yanqing, no one has been looking at him. Even if you were, you were probably looking more at Jingliu because she's the crit ice hyper carry everyone normally talks about. And yes, if you want to call Jingliu powercreep on Yanqing, I'm not going to deny that entirely. One is a limited time five star, the other is a standard five star. Just like with Yunli and Clara, or Sunday and Bronya, I don't think it's a bad thing for the limited time version to be stronger because you should get something in return for the money/pulls you spent on them.

But it's a shame that it's a meme to root for Yanqing, rather than being honest about the fact that he's still a five star DPS. You want to make him work, you absolutely can. You just need to know that he's a bit awkward coming in, but aren't most teenage boys?

======+++++======

If you want more thoughts on mine on what shifted Star Rail's design priorities from 1.0 going forward, please shoot an ask. The shortest version of it though is that Simulated Universe was eventually chosen to be more side content than truly the focus of end game content.

My link to Amphoreus' pre-registration, if you want to help me out. Still feels weird to say that a pre-registration is happening for a game that's already out.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[the-laughing-lunatic]

I just have a simple request if you don't mind me asking. Can you do Heavy x Medic with a child reader (Their child, adopted or not, Medic does weird stuff) who is very sweet but also very strong like Heavy?

Basic storyline: One day their kid was in the forest and found a baby bear who was hurt so they tried to take care of the baby bear but Mama bear was closed so the kid tried to defend themselves and make sure they didn't hurt the mama bear to fix the baby bear like they've seen Medic do on people.

(Ofc! I kinda made this really long (wordcount: 1264), you can tell I'm not that great w/ oneshots :/ Thx for requesting!)

HeavyMedic & sweet child! reader

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was late at night. Far too late to be out in the forest at the young age of seven, but here you were, trailing behind your two dads as Medic rambled about his ideas for experiments once he found the herb that had the three of you out in the first place. Heavy and Medic didn’t want to leave you alone at the base so they wrapped you in your big fluffy coat and brought you along. You shivered. “P- papa?”

“Little Belka, is cold, yes, but your papas need to focus now. Can you stay quiet for little while?” Heavy responded.

“Okay…” You wanted to be good for them, so you kept your mouth shut and clutched your teddy bear close to your chest. 

Out of nowhere an owl swooped down and snatched your teddy bear out of your hands. You couldn’t just let it get away with that! But your papa said not to talk, and you didn’t want to distract them from their important grown-up work. 

You took a deep breath and ran after it, the brush scratching up your arms as you followed the owl. You ran till your legs were tired and the bird was gone from your vision. Only then did you get the sinking realization that you were lost, cold, and alone. 

You sat on a tree stump, curled into a ball and cried.

ੈ♡˳

Medic and Heavy kept trekking through the forest. Medic smiled softly at a sleeping dove he saw in a tree. “Aw, taube, it’s you.” No response. “Taube?”

Medic turned around to see you were gone. “Belka? If this is joke, it is not funny. Come out now belka.” Yet again, no response. 

“Oh god, we’ve lost them.” Medic said, panicked. “Misha, what do we do? Oh god, how long have they been gone? They could be dead by now, what if they’re dead? I mean, are they even respawn compatible? We both are, and if the DNA processing worked how it should then they should be too. But I mean, no one else has ever done this so we don’t know if it works. Our taube could be eaten by wolves already I mean—”

Heavy placed his hands on Medic’s shoulders. “Ludwig. Calm. We will find them, it will be okay. 

Medic leaned into the touch, holding Heavy close. “I just don’t want to lose our baby…”

“We won't, I promise, our belka and will be safe and sound.” 

ੈ♡˳

After a solid ten minutes of crying, you sniffled and wiped your tears. And then you heard a noise. At first you thought it was one of your papas, but it was more of a whine.

You stood up and walked towards the sound. There, laying behind a bush was a small bear cub, curled up and whining. “Oh, hey there little guy, what’s wrong?” It keened back, eyes wide. “I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to help.”

Hesitantly, the cub rolled over to reveal a thorn stuck in its paw, the area around it swollen and red. It looked similar to bullet wounds you had seen before, so you grabbed a pair of tweezers from the first-aid kit you kept with you. 

As you pulled the thorn out carefully you felt a hot breath on your neck. You turned to see another bear, much bigger than the one you just helped, and its eyes were on you. It growled.

ੈ♡˳

“Taube?” 

“Belka?”

It had been who knows how long since Medic and Heavy learned of your disappearance, and they had been calling out for you for most of that time. 

Medic’s eyes caught a familiar piece of fabric in one of the lower branches of a nearby tree. He stepped closer, reaching up to grab your teddy bear coated in dirt and stuffing open in multiple slashes. “Misha…gott…”

“It will be okay Ludwig, our belka is strong,” Heavy said. He wasn’t sure if he was saying that for Medic or himself at that point. He gently took the teddy from Medic, holding it in his hand. So small, it looked much bigger when you were holding it. You were still so young, it’d be to soon. Heavy gave it a hug and put it in his bag. They had to find you.

ੈ♡˳

You paled at the large bear towering over you. You knew you could try to fight back, but you didn’t want to. You settled for throwing a pebble at it. “Please leave, I don't want to hurt you.”

That didn’t seem to stop the bear, it stepped closer yet again. You gently tried to push it away. It didn’t work.

You whimpered and curled into a ball and closed your eyes as tight as you could, preparing for a bite or slash or any action that you very much didn’t want to feel. But…nothing happened. 

You felt the bear lick your hair and you felt yourself giggle slightly. It seemed because of the fuzzy coat he bear saw you as one of her own. It was comforting to be held close instead of feeling cold and alone just for a moment. You felt your eyelids droop and leaned into her. 

ੈ♡˳

It had been hours. It was completely dark now, and both Medic and Heavy were completely exhausted. Heavy sighed and leaned against a tree. “Ludwig, it’s late, we might have to consider heading back…”

“What? Are you crazy? We need to find them, we can’t just leave.” 

“You are tired, you need sleep,” Heavy said, tracing the doctor’s eyebags with his hand. 

“Misha, I have gotten far less sleep for far less important reasons, I will be fine,” he said brushing away Heavy’s hand. “If you need rest you may head back to the base.”

“No, I will stay.” And so the two continued, scanning the beam of their flashlight through the forest, the long shadows of the trees stretching out before them in their search. Until the light caught on two bright, almost glowing, orbs. 

They stepped closer, seeing a large bear cuddling her cub…and their child! The two both let out an audible sigh of relief, Heavy stepping forwards to take their sleeping kid. She growled, pulling you closer.

Heavy kneeled down to eye level of the bear. “Thank you for keeping my belka safe, but this is my child. Please.”

The bear looked for a second before giving a small nod, loosen its grip on you so Heavy can take you in his arms. Heavy gave a nod of respect before walking back to Medic. 

You stirred at the sudden movement. “H- hm?” Your eyes opened, a smile appeared . “Papa!”

“You’re awake!” Medic exclaimed happily, reaching to Heavy’s bag to give you your teddy back. “It might need a wash and some stitching, but it’ll be okay. …we’re so sorry for losing you, taube.”

“It’s okay, I made a friend! Could I see them again?” you said, clutching your teddy to yourself as you were carried back to the best.

Medic laughed. “Ha! No, you’re never going outside again, we were scared to death.”

“What?!”

“Now, belka, he doesn’t mean never, he’s just exaggerating. You can go outside once you’re 18.” 

“Come on!”

ੈ♡˳

Later that night, your teddy lay all stitched up on the night stand, moonlight spilling through the window as you laid between your two dads in bed. Having one warm body to cuddle you was great, but all wrapped in your loving papas arms you had to admit two was better.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[hologramcowboy]

Since the end of the election many SPN fans have been online (X) saying they’re cutting anyone who voted for Trump/Vance out of their lives.

They also have been biting at Misha after he posted on X about not engaging in hate towards others. Never ceases to amuse me when his beloved fans lose their minds on him if he doesn’t think and act the exact way they do.

https://x.com/mishacollins/status/1854554551493296194?s=46&t=wx4CnlP_QMqkNn_0DvA9HQ

My question is how likely do you think it is that Jensen faces backlash from fans? He appeared in that Lynda Carter hosted event to support Harris/Walz, it looked like a shit show and he seemed somewhat uninterested in being there, and he hasn’t posted anything since the election. He was also at Steve Carlson’s gig in LA last night and Steve is supposedly a Trumper.

I personally think cutting people from your life because of their political leanings is the wrong way to go. Civil, open dialogue is better but that’s just me.

I just wonder if you think Jensen will get any hate, especially from Hellers, about his lacklustre reaction and his friendship with a conservative. Then there’s Danneel who retweeted one of Misha’s pre-election tweets… that was the extent of her online “activism”. Does she qualify for hate from the ultra engaged, politically active and aware set?

#jensencritical #antidanneel

I agree. Cutting people out of your life due to political leanings is unnecessary, however, I do get that at the moment it's coming from a place of helplessness and horror over the future. People are lashing out due to feeling powerless. Jensen is Jensen, he is a beyond privileged man who gets away with a ton of things simply because women fall at his feet. Due to this, he always does the bare minimum, just to check boxes. I seem to recall a comment he made "Just give them a picture with my face one it" (there is video of this, he was in an Impala at a CW event where Lucy Hale and others were present). In other words, I don't mean to be mean, but I don't expect much from him. He runs from anything that has to do with responsibility and only does things for clout ONLY if they are easy for him. Lazy and self centered, again, I don't mean to be mean but that's how he comes off. I hope I'm 150% wrong. I doubt he will get a lot of hate because he can do no wrong. Infatuation beats reality when it comes to Jensen.

Danneel, as always, follows whatever is trendy for clout, on her own she has no personality and no opinions, she can barely form sentences. What can we expect from a woman whose entire career rested solely on her fake bosom? Now that being said, no matter which side you belong to, I hope we all find ways to reach harmony and balance our perceptions. There are severe repercussions coming our way due to the result of the election and those who voted for Trump didn't do any research into any of that. They will learn from experience. We need to be united not divided, education is power. It's lack of education that has landed America in the position of voting for someone like Trump. I could go on and on but this blog is not the place for my critical thinking on this subject. To answer your question, I believe a certain part of fandom is set on hatred and will look for any reason to justify tearing into others. I'm not referring exclusively to hellers but to a general trend within fandom. People will do horrible things and hide behind their fandom loves. Let's just come out and admit it's not your ship that's driving you but your own instincts and desires. Don't use your love of X or Z as an excuse to tear into other people and be cruel. Civil discussion is more than possible, in fact, it can be enriching for both sides. Fanaticism is dangerous and we're about to learn just how dangerous it is thanks to our new President.

I'll stop here because this blog is not meant to be political in any way, it's merely a fandom blog. Thank you for the beautiful question.

[eisforeidolon]

I'M PISSED OFF BY MISHA'S ATTITUDE AND LIES TOWARDS JARED!

HE'S GONE TOO FAR. SAYING THAT THING ABOUT JARED AND PLAYING THE VICTIM WHEN HE IS ACTUALLY JUST A LYING NARCISSIST. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN STILL SUPPORT HIM AND BELIEVE IN WHATEVER HE SAYS.

JARED SHOULD REALLY SUE HIM AT THIS POINT FOR WHAT HE'S SAYING ABOUT HIM.

You know, I was trying to remember yesterday just how many times it's been now where Misha has surpassed himself in being a bitter, gross, ungrateful and jealous little troll to the point it astonished me. Like, did he really say that?!? Wow.

Like, it started out with the occasional sly imprecation and it seems like the more irrelevant he becomes and the more he's gotten away with? The more emboldened he's gotten to just tell more and more blatantly ridiculous and even potentially harmful lies. I kind of feel like at this point, until he openly says something so absolutely, undeniably putrid that J2 find out and cut him off, it really is going to keep escalating indefinitely.

I mean, I honestly find the fans letting him get away with it less baffling than him doing it in the first place. Because we've already seen that in their desperation to pretend getting canon D/C is the most important cause ever in LGBT+ history, they will believe anyone who tells them what they want to hear and try to throw anyone who they see as "in the way" under the bus. So, yeah, Misha could bitchslap their grandma and run over their dog and they'd still live up his ass. Talking any level of shit about Jared is a-okay with them, because they already want to believe he's evil for Sam existing at the center of SPN instead of their shitty ship. Not only that? But at the end of the day, they really have nothing to lose. Their wackadoodle online behavior isn't likely to have any impact on their IRL lives, and even in terms of online lives? For the most part, they could slink away from their batshit heller identities tomorrow and have a clean slate.

Misha though? Like, what the actual fuck are you doing, dude, you're not just burning real life personal and professional bridges, you're trying to nuke them from orbit. Sure, he's not getting any new roles because anyone in the business of hiring can see the caliber of his "acting talent" in the last several seasons of SPN. But is he really that confident he thinks no level of backstabbing is going to get his ass booted from conventions and any potential revival? Can he actually be stupid enough to have bought so far into the smoke his stans are blowing up his ass to think that he's actually as indispensable as J2? One line about how Cass is busy in heaven and boom, he's acceptably accounted for to the majority of the GA.

Even the nicest, most forgiving person in the universe is going to eventually say enough is enough. Basically accusing Jared of endangering his life to try and make his own actions of flushing Jared's phone look less shitty by comparison is ... I don't have words. How much lower can he even go? Unfortunately, I suspect we'll continue to find out.

[lightofraye]

A Little Perspective

This may be lengthy and detailed and potentially triggering for some. I will be covering a number of possible points of view about things covering why Jensen hasn't left--and may never. (A prospective I'm not thrilled about, to be honest.)

So. Let's begin.

1) Abuse: This is double issue for Jensen. Potentially a triple. How do I mean? For instance, Jensen himself admitted his father beat him with a belt--and from the sound of it, a lot, while he was growing up, as Jensen knew thinner belts hurt more. Worse, his father said he did it "out of love", so there's that bad, unpleasant association right out the bat.

Plus, his mother... this is only speculation, an assumption. She either looked the other way and accepted the abuse, or she was a participant of the abuse and thought it was normal/acceptable. That too may color Jensen's perspective and not a good way either.

Then Jensen became a model... and the modeling industry is/was rife on abuse. A lot of stories come out later where those who quit the industry or endured it suffered a great deal of sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse.... A "pretty boy" like Jensen likely would've suffered as well. I don't believe he's ever shared stories and he likely may never.

(Hi, toxic perception of men as victims again.)

I can't even begin about the sexual abuse that is rampant in Hollywood itself. Yes, women were largely targets, but as we've heard the last few years,... so have been men.

Hell, Jensen was sexually assaulted by Misha! It was used in a fucking gag reel! It's not funny! Jensen even said if he had known they were going to put it in the gag reel, he would've asked them not to. That to me speaks volumes.

There are brief stories out there. A PA witnessed Danneel slapping Jensen when she thought Jensen was flirting with the PA. (He wasn't; he's just that sweet.) There's another story of some restaurant goer who saw how harsh Danneel was bullying Jensen outside the restaurant.

He's... diminished. His baseline for normal is not the baseline for normal for non-abused people. His self-esteem, confidence, and ability to stand up for himself is heavily damaged. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself. Every time he has, he's been smacked down.

Yes, he can stand up for others time to time, but there are instances when he didn't and gave up in face of authority. (Mark Sheppard being demoted to guest star and losing pay and choosing to quit instead... only had Jared standing up for him in the end. Misha caved instantly and Jensen gave up as well.)

So what then does it mean for him and Danneel? Did she become abusive off the bat? No. That's not how abusers work. There were likely instances where she slipped and he mentally made excuses, ignored the red flags because that's how it tends to happen. Hindsight is ever perfect. Being in the heat of it, we tend to try and excuse, defend, or otherwise rewrite it in our minds. We don't want to think of it as normal.

Then once they were married, Danneel began to let that completely slip and fall, and he was "trapped". The cycle continues. By now he thinks of it as normal, acceptable, maybe impossible to escape. He has likely been told no one would want him. He's "middle-aged", damaged goods. This has also been told to female victims and it's hard to break that mindset too. It's hard to find strength to completely break free when you've been fed insidious lies since childhood.

It's a trap. A difficult trap to break. Can it happen? Yes. But it's very, very hard.

2. Blackmail: This one can fall under two very different categories. One, the abuse one. Where the children (I've mentioned this before) are being used as hostages to guarantee Jensen's continued marriage to Danneel. As in, "If you divorce me, I'll make sure you never see the kids again!" It's a common threat, to boot.

Despite what some people have said, I believe Jensen loves his children. Yes, "especially" JJ, but I believe he loves all three. He may not be home a lot to see them, but he loves them. He would like to keep that access to them. It may be he believes Danneel's threat, and I'm sure there's some who believe it'd be "easy" for a woman to make such a threat and keep it.

Here's a hint, folks. The truth to that lie. If a father asks for full custody of the children in a divorce, they usually get that request granted, no matter what. But most of them don't ask for that, and so, the parent that does ask gets it granted. So... if a husband and wife vie against each other and both ask, guess who wins? The father.

Most fathers don't think to ask because of the perception of mothers always win. Mothers are the ones who should be responsible for children. And so forth.

Regardless... Jensen likely might believe that threat and feels some access is better than none.

Then the other kind of blackmail. Note: I do not believe nearly all that I'm about to write. This is purely speculative and a number of possible blackmail that Danneel might have over him.

There's the J2 tinhat rumors. I could see why those rumors lasted as long as they have. I've seen the stories, the posts, photos, watched them in conventions. It's entirely possible that Jared and Jensen did have some romantic/sexual relationship for a time. Maybe even after they got married to Genevieve and Danneel, it might have continued.

It could be Genevieve just accepted it and when it ended (as there was a gradual separation even before the whole The Winchesters/Prequelgate debacle), Jared and Gen were okay. Danneel... however... might not have been as okay with it as she indicated. Her posts over the years, where she tried to make it seem she and Jensen were together when fan photos and such came out at the same time of Jensen and Jared together, might've been wildly embarrassed by it all. She might not have been as okay with it as Genevieve was and just collected evidence to hold over Jensen's head.

After all, sadly, Hollywood still isn't as accepting of LGBTQ as we'd like. When actors come out, their careers usually don't continue, out of the weird perception that gay men can't act straight. (When I hear that, I look at Matt Bomer and go "Are you sure?!" I believed Bomer was a charming straight man even after he came out--his character on White Collar was awesome!)

So there's that possibility.

Then there's the orgies rumor we've heard about in the past. Or rather that one tweet that led to a threat of a lawsuit--which sadly made it valid and legitimate. Danneel really didn't know how to let a rumor die. It might make her look weird and bad too, but her career has been nonexistent for a long time and her reputation has already been destroyed by her own actions. It wouldn't hurt her nearly as much as it might hurt Jensen.

Then there's other possible vices. Alcoholism seems to be the more... "acceptable" of vices. As is smoking. If an actor is an alcoholic, they just go to rehab, get help, and be fine. But for someone who is self-conscious about their image, it might be more difficult to accept. Being seen drunk time to time is not the same as being an alcoholic, after all.

The same goes for drugs. Not that rumor has been very well-known, but it can exist.

Then there's the blackmail of affairs. In Hollywood, affairs and flings are considered a part of the life. They happen. Couples that are apart for a while time to time may dabble in affairs and flings. Even with co-stars. This happens too. More than most would like. (The more infamous one would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Others have happened too. It's just common and accepted. Anyone saying otherwise is just wrong.)

Again, image-conscious and wanting to push the solid love marriage, this could be damaging. Even if Danneel hadn't really made it much of a secret that she's been having an on-and-off affair with Steve... it's still different. I repeat: she has no career or reputation to destroy. Jensen does.

Even if Hollywood wouldn't give that big of a damn about it.

3. PR Marriage: Now I know this has been pushed by other antis, and even suggested to me, but I find myself... hesitating on it. If it was in fact a PR marriage, why would he tolerate the abuse at all? Surely there'd be something in the contract about demeaning him and belittling him? It doesn't fit.

And there should have been protection over mistreatment or not fulfilling parts of it. I don't know... it doesn't quite fit. Not for me.

--

This was a long, long essay. I knew it would be, and it was still hard to write parts of it.

I want to end it with another point.

Female on male violence is often portrayed as a joke. Wedding Crashers had a female on male rape and it was a joke, a comedy bit. The one time I remember seeing such a scenario used on Law and Order: SVU, the male victim wasn't believed because he was a man and should have been able to overpower the woman.

Like it's expected of men to be able to just beat the shit out of their abusive partners... as though no one realized that if come upon by the police, any bruises on her would be taken more seriously than over him! Even if he had bruises too! Unless there's video evidence of physical abuse on him, anything else is considered... a joke. Impossible.

What's sad is that this too is an aspect of misogyny. Men are expected to be able to overpower women, so when a man is "taking" abuse and not fighting back, it's another part of misogyny. Because he's "lesser" than a woman, and that's shameful.

We have a lot of growing to do as a society. We need to realize that just because one person is making the money does not mean they hold all the power. We've only begun to see the problems of abuse, and all the areas it covers.

There's physical abuse, the one most commonly known. Then sexual, the second commonly known. The lesser recognized are financial (unless a person is a senior citizen, then it's considered a legitimate crime), and mental and emotional being the least known or recognized (only considered legitimate if done on a child and with proof).

Until we end the toxic expectations of men, and yes, women, and realize anyone can be a victim, and that we all, as a whole, deserve respect... we have a long way to go.

Just remember: It begins with you. It begins with us.

[hunterscabin]

This Baby Will Have A Father Part I

Summary: Y/N is an actress on Supernatural. After becoming pregnant, her boyfriend leaves her, not wanting anything to do with the baby. Unsure of what the future holds, her male co-stars show her that she’s not alone. 

Pairings: Reader x SPN Cast

Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, nervous reader, fluff

Word Count: 1.3k 

Author’s Note: I only have two parts of this story written, and unless it gets major traction, I’m not sure I’ll be writing more. I didn’t want to be a tease and leave y’all hanging, but those who’ve responded said they don’t care and would like to read anyway. Let me know if I should keep going! 

Filming had only resumed one week ago, and you were already having difficulty hiding your pregnancy. Hiatus had come at the perfect time, right when you were really starting to show, but now that you were in your fifth month, loose sweaters and baggy shirts were no longer able to conceal your constantly expanding stomach. You had told wardrobe and the show’s producers, but the life growing inside of you was still a secret to most of the cast and crew.

It had been a hectic day on set, and you were beyond grateful when Bob called for lunch. You saw some of the guys head into Jensen’s trailer and figured now was as good a time as any to tell them you were expecting. Before you could lose the gumption, you marched up to the door, pausing only briefly before knocking.

“Hey, Y/N/N!” Jensen smiled as he opened the door and stepped aside for you to come in. A loud roar of laughter filled the air.

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Not at all!” Jensen picked up his plate and pulled out the chair he had been using. “Have a seat.”

Along with the featured cast, many guest actors were in town to shoot a special episode. Jared and Misha were sitting at the kitchenette table with Rob while Alex and Rich enjoyed their lunch on the sofa.   

“I think I’ll stand. Thanks, though, Jay.” The palpable apprehension coursing through you was in stark contrast to the lighthearted atmosphere in Jensen’s trailer, and your mood didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Misha asked. Before the break, most of the cast had noticed and even discussed your unusually reserved and distant nature. Misha wondered if your current trepidation had anything to do with your pre-hiatus behavior.

“Yes.” You answered with uncertainty.

You had shared your pregnancy with some of the women in the cast earlier that week, and while their support and advice had been immensely heartening, it was emotionally exhausting going over your story again and again. You thought it’d be easier telling all the guys at once. Now, as your eyes scanned the room, you grew increasingly anxious seeing everyone’s attention on you. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

“I have some news to share.” you said hesitantly.

“Good news, I hope?” Rob cautioned, his voice full of anticipation.

“Great news, actually.” You took a deep breath, uncrossed your arms, and opened your sweatshirt. “I’m pregnant.”

You smiled tentatively, not knowing how everyone would take the news. After what felt like ages, Alex stood to place a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Congratulations, Y/N/N!” He beamed, kissing you on the cheek.

Rob and Rich were close behind, both of them pulling you into a warm hug.

“How far along are you?” Rob smiled as he leaned out of the embrace. He held you at arm’s length, taking in the sight of your bump.

“I’m just over five months along.”

“You look great!” Rich exclaimed.

“You really do.” Rob affirmed, giving your shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “I’m amazed you were able to hide this from us for so long. Now that I know, I can’t believe I didn’t see it before!”

“The ladies in wardrobe were very helpful.” You smiled coyly.

You were relieved that Rob, Rich, and Alex seemed genuinely happy, but you couldn’t shake the deafening silence radiating from the table behind you.   

Jared, Jensen, and Misha still hadn’t said anything, so you turned to face them. When your eyes met theirs you could see their shock. They were the big brothers you never had, and you told each other everything. The most painful part of keeping your pregnancy a secret was lying to the three of them, but you had to process your own feelings before telling everyone else. You never imagined you’d find yourself alone and pregnant. In an instant, you went from being a responsible twenty-something who made all of the right decisions to a statistic mothers tell their daughters to scare them into abstinence. It had taken you months to come to terms with your new future. You had no idea how the boys would react.

“Do you know who the father is?” Jared questioned, breaking through the nervous silence.

“Jare.” Jensen chastised, reaching over and smacking Jared upside the head.

“It’s okay.” You flashed them both a soft smile, trying to ease some of the tension. You knew Jared didn’t mean any harm; it was a legitimate question that came from a place of sincere curiosity and not of judgment or ridicule. You hadn’t mentioned to them that you’d been seeing someone for a few months prior to getting pregnant. Your male cast mates tended to be a little too overprotective in the boyfriend department, so you didn’t usually go out of your way to share stories about your dating life.

“I do.” you confirmed. 

“Does he know?” Jared followed up.

“Now that deserves a hit.” you joked, raising your eyebrows and nodding your head toward Jared. As if rehearsed, Jensen brought his hand down across the back of Jared’s head, ruffling his hair in the process.

Everyone snickered, but their laughter quickly faded when they noticed your somber expression.

“He said he isn’t ready to be a father,” your hands instinctively moved to your stomach, “and he doesn’t want any part of this.”

“Y/N, I didn’t…”

“It’s okay, Jare.” you assured, cutting his apology short. Your heart fell at the sight of his sheepish face. The looks of pity you received when telling your story never got easier.

Jensen walked over and placed a hand on the small of your back. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your temple. “Are you okay?” he asked, unsure of what else to say.  

“I am.” Jensen looked at you suspiciously. “Really, I am.”

Your response was truthful. Life circumstances had taught to be strong and capable, and while you knew it would be the greatest challenge you ever faced, you felt prepared to handle life as a single mother. You were built for it.

After a moment of contemplation, you let out a deep sigh. “I just feel bad this little one won’t have a father.”

Your voice was almost a whisper, but everyone in the room heard your concern. A shadow of sadness cast over their faces, each of their hearts quietly breaking at the thought of you and your baby on your own.

“Y/N, you don’t have to do this alone.” Misha reached across the table and took your hand in his. “I will always be here for you.” His blue eyes were full of kindness. 

“We will always be here for you.” Jared emphasized, standing to pull you into a hug.

Their sentiments were beyond touching, but you knew the inordinate amount of work that went into raising a baby, and it was a responsibility you had come to accept alone. You were never one to burden others with your needs, and all of these men had their own families. The last thing you wanted was to interject into their already busy lives.

Not wanting to fight their well intentions, you simply said “Thank you,” and leaned further into Jared’s comforting embrace.

The second you closed the trailer door behind you, everyone let out an audible sigh.

“That explains a lot.” Alex said.

“I’m really worried about her.” Rob confessed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Me too,” Jensen agreed, “She has such a hard time asking for help, and she’s definitely going to need it.”  

“We have to show her we’re serious about being there for her and being a part of this baby’s life.” Misha asserted.

A broad smile spread across Rich’s face, and he stood up from the sofa.

“I think I have an idea.”

Part II

Masterlist

[lol-jackles]

Would doing a cameo or guest spot on the Boys hurt Jared's branding? We found out today that Kripke seems to be tweeting him a lot, and I don't think it's about the revival from what Jared said about working out. For me it wouldn't be so much about nudity as my trust in his choices for projects in the future. Right now, I trusted him to watch a cowboy show of all things and loved the family vibe. But after an X rated gig, maybe not so much. Do agents and managers consider things like that or not

It's not the cameo or guest spot that is the issue per se, after all Charlize Theron had a funny cameo as an actress portraying one of the supes in a movie within a movie, and all lead actors do guest spots between their main projects. 

There's main three things going on.  First, Kripke is indulging in some of his worst impulses.  He knows Amazon will censor out the graphic sexual and violent scenes, but it won't stop him from filming them for his own titillations. 

Second, unsympathetic roles never help anyone's career. Just look at how much Misha disavowed Karla with excuses that he "didn't know" it was based on true events. Back then Misha was a struggling actor who accepted work whenever he can. The reason why Jared said he would like to play "thinking man villain" is because those type of villains are usually right in their thinking; they're just wrong in how they try to achieve their goal.

Third, if the guest role is an unsympathetic villain that gets killed by the good guys, then it goes against the upward trajectory of Jared's career. If you've seen the movie Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, there is a scene between Al Pacino and Leonardo di Caprio that explains this.  Pacino plays a director to Caprio's Rick Dalton who is a fading lead tv star known for playing a heroic character name Jake Cahill on Western series, now is guest starring as bad guys in Western series.  Rick has been offered a lead role in Italy's spaghetti Western movies that he's unsure of accepting.

Marvin Schwarz: You… You always play the bad guy on these (American) shows?

Rick Dalton: Yeah.

Marvin Schwarz: So, and they have a fight scene at the end of them?

Rick Dalton: Well, not… not… not Land of the Giants or F.B.I… but the rest, yeah. Yeah.

Marvin Schwarz: you lose in the fight?

Rick Dalton: Yeah. Yeah, of course.  I’m… I’m the heavy.

Marvin Schwarz: Oooh, That’s an old trick pulled by the networks.

Rick Dalton: *stunned*

Marvin Schwarz: Now, you take (new character) Bingo Martin, for example. Right?  So you got a new guy (actor) like Scott Brown.  You wanna build up his bona fides, right?  So you hire a guy from a canceled show to play the heavy.   Then at the end of the show, when they fight, it’s hero besting heavy.  But what the audience sees… is Bingo Martin whipping Jake Cahill’s ass.

Rick Dalton: *taking it all in*

Marvin Schwarz: You see?  Then next week, it’s Ron Ely.  And next week, it’s Bob Conrad, wearing his tight pants, kicking your ass.

Rick Dalton (in a bit of denial): Yeah.

Marvin Schwarz: Now, in another couple of years, playing punching bag to every swinging dick new to the network, that’s gonna have a psychological effect… on how the audience perceives you.

Rick Dalton: Right.

Marvin Schwarz: So Rick, who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? Mannix? The Man from U.N.C.L.E.? The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.? How about Batman and Robin? Ping! Pow! Choom! Zoom! Down goes you, down goes your career as a leading man.

Rick Dalton: *silence*

Marvin Schwarz: Or do you go to Rome and star in Westerns… and win fucking fights?  Ticket, señor?

Cliff Booth (played by Brad Pitt): All right....... What’s the matter, partner?

Rick Dalton: Well… it’s official, old buddy. I’m a has-been.

Cliff Booth: What are you talking about?  What did that guy tell you?

Rick Dalton: He told me the goddamn truth, is what he told me.

Ever wonder why most action stars like Dwayne the Rock Johnson have in their contract that their characters never lose fights on screen? Because they don't want to even give audience the chance to have a subconscious idea that they're not lead stars.

[walkergirlsposts]

i really think jensen will just move on from spn. it seems like he’s losing his attachment to it. TW was a huge failure and he’s getting too much pressure to do destiel. he’s stopped doing things like acknowledging dean’s birthday. i think he’s starting to prefer his other projects now. he’s got a whole spinoff for soldier boy, and that countdown show that could get renewed. i think he is finally moving on from dean and feels that story is at its close and doesn’t need to reopen. he won’t be aching for a revival the way aa’s and hellers need him to.

Yep. The only ones needing him to do it are hellers and the loser extras because they need a job. They so stupidly think he's on their side, think he's "heller king!!!" Lol There honestly doesn't need to be a reboot, ever. But the only reason I would want one is to shut those losers up once and for all. That maybe they'll see it wasn't the CW who kept them from being "balls deep," it was Jensen. If they want someone to blame, that's who they need to look at. But of course they still need him, so they pretend to be a fan,just like they pretend to stans Misha.