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#mirror;; queue me something
damnation-if · 3 months
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Care to tell some facts about the ROs?
ough... i always find 'facts' asks intimidating because i'm never sure if the facts i'm producing are any good haha. hopefully these aren't too boring!
Arianis:
they enjoy gardening; they never stay in one place for long but whenever they move they have to lug around all their collection of exotic orchids and rare plants. they especially like cross-breeding orchids to create new strains (they also play music for their plants)
they dated a vampire for a while in the past (the vampire sort of considered them his thrall) but got kind of bored of it... they're less bored with being a warlock so far
if the MC chooses the travelling entertainers background, they've actually met Arianis once before in the past
Heluur:
he didn't originally have his wings; Twilit had to make them and graft them onto him, and because his unique nature is resistant to chaos and change, his body is still dealing with trying to reject them even after millennia
Twilit and Newyneth are who he would consider his "best friends;" he considers himself kind of an unofficial uncle to their children (which is just Suchebh in Twilit's case)
nobody in Hell, including archdemons, wants to get on his bad side
Lithiana:
like the other concubi, she was "born" in the mortal world; she in particular was created partially-accidentally by a weird sex cult that wanted to summon a demon but had no idea how to do it and just kind of messed around until they managed to call enough chaos into the metaphorical Shape of a person and she was born
she was the last concubi to come into existence (before MC) - once the gods realised that humans could accidentally create demons, they created the Inquisitors to hunt down humans consorting with demonic magic
she doesn't remember much about her early days except for constant feelings of terror, but it left her with a kind of wistful nostalgia for the mortal world that she can't do much about
Malkorath:
they're not really fond of Beds, due in part to the combination of a lot of their anatomy (they can't lie on their side for example because of their horns), so they kind of sleep belly-down on top of a big heap of cushions when they have to sleep
they're Not into bondage shit at all because their creator kept them chained down in a cage until he would release them to kill people for him... they don't find it sexy at all lmfao, only traumatic
they were built purposely with a body temperature much lower than other demons so that they can survive travel into the mortal world (i may have mentioned this one already, i can't remember lmao)
Suchebh:
they don't have a Bad relationship with Twilit per se, but they do constantly feel like they have to compete with them for notoreity and find a way to get out from underneath their shadow (Twilit is more or less oblivious to this)
they would Never Ever admit it, but they're definitely at least a little jealous of the relationship that some of Newyneth's children have with her, which makes them do catty or manipulative things sometimes
they are actually the person who braids Malkorath's hair for them
Twilit:
like several of the other archdemons, their true form is actually hidden somewhere in the mortal world (it would take too much effort and be too provocative for the gods to go about removing them), but unlike the other archdemons theirs is not split into pieces (though they did transfer it out of Hell in chunks lmfao)
they have a Decent relationship with some of the more neutral gods, but they're definitely considered a wild card by the more militant ones... they are absolutely considered unpredictable and hard to handle
they are generally very proud of Suchebh in their own way, but they're quite bad at expressing that in a way that Suchebh understands smndfgb
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@sockdooe I first encountered this supposed explanation in the comments section of a fanfiction, so it is to be taken with a grain of salt, but I read that Shiro's design was primarily based on what the showrunners thought "looked cool". This includes the prosthetic grafted onto his person by his captors, the scar across his face, and the shock of white fringe in his otherwise naturally dark hair. And, I won't lie, his design serves its purpose. Shiro immediately draws the eye, and not just because of his usual placement front and center in the standard team line up.
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It's reasonable for the sort of space soldier, G.I. Joe type of character the staff intended Shiro to be to have these sorts of physical characteristics.
It's also completely reasonable in a Sci-Fi/Action show for a villain as menacing and ruthless as Sendak to have a similarly distinct, eye-catching design. Such features as a sinister, gleaming, red bionic eye, and massive prosthetic arm powered by a core of glowing, magical electric energy pulsing in a line from shoulder to forearm stand out, are easily memorable, and make him instantly recognizable as a really Bad Guy.
The idea of Shiro being a sort of "light, heroic mirror" to Sendak, which the show introduced and continued to attempt to enforce all the way up to Sendak's death, sits incredibly uneasily with me, however. As I've made explicit several times, before.
Content Warning for discussion of sexual assault/rape.
We're shown the recurrent imagery of Sendak looming over and behind an incapacitated Shiro.
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Shiro's instinctive response to seeing Sendak heading toward him is to back away out of fear before steeling himself and resolving to fight, if only to protect the Castle and an unconscious Lance.
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The very first thing that Shiro says to Sendak is, "You're not getting in", to which Sendak replies, "Yes. I am".
Coran suggests that the Galra might keep him and Hunk as, "some sort of creepy pet to play with how they please", in an appeal to Shay and Rax for assistance concealing their presence on the Balmera.
There's genuine contempt in Shiro's voice when he asks Sendak, "What do you want?", prior to his torture at Sendak's hands.
Sendak delivers a stomach-churning gloating little speech after torturing Shiro via electric shock.
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And, Rolo refers to Sendak as a, "real nasty bugger", a term that has an exceptionally crude colloquial meaning.
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Now, maybe I'm a cynical weirdo who is reading far too deeply into this, and connecting dots that aren't there. But...
Shiro bears a much stronger resemblance to Berserk's Guts than the Takashi Shirogane from the original Go Lion! that he's named after. Guts is a famous survivor of childhood sexual abuse, having been sold by his adoptive father and purchased for use as a sex slave by an ugly hulking pederast.
There were obvious Neon Genesis Evangelion fans working on this show, and Rei Ayanami, the character that Shiro's story seems to reference with the sheer excess of clones created using his DNA, is also a victim of sexual abuse.
(There's even, arguably, influence taken from The Legend of the Blue Wolves, a relatively obscure yaoi OVA largely set at a military facility which trains soldiers and pilots for combat missions in deep space. It features an extended scene with a virtual flight simulator, and one of the two male leads is-- wouldn't you know it? Raped by an ugly hulking monster.)
Correlation does not imply causation, and perhaps the similarities are entirely superficial, and we're not meant to think too hard about them.
Yet, with the amount of scrutiny that a series as utterly wholesome and innocuous as Bluey is constantly under, I cannot buy for a minute that a series Netflix gave a TV Y7 rating to didn't undergo some level of screening to ensure that its content was appropriate for the intended child audience. Someone had to have asked the staff if bugger was the term they meant to use, aware of the disturbing, far less than child-friendly implications, and was met with a resounding confirmation.
Beyond that, extended proximity to even an imprisoned and inanimate Sendak sends Shiro spiraling into a psychological break down.
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Shiro's intensely traumatic experiences in captivity, which his brain seems to have largely repressed in order to protect him ("It's all a blur.") would, by themselves, be enough to convince him that he's been broken and reshaped into something monstrous. His bodily autonomy was, unquestionably, brutally violated, and his innately altruistic, self-sacrificing nature was violently challenged when he was forced to kill or be killed for his captors' entertainment. His right arm was taken from him and replaced with a weapon, and he has the blood of who knows just how many innocents on his hands. He was, indeed, broken down in an attempt to reform him into the Galra Empire's "greatest weapon", and likely very much wars with himself over what he had to do to ensure his own survival, believing himself to be a monster.
What really stands out to me, though, is that this intense, primal terror and the accompanying feelings of "brokenness" and "monstrousness" only surface around Sendak. Despite also being associated with and direct causes of his trauma, neither Haggar nor Zarkon rattle Shiro to his core the way Sendak does.
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Neither of them are insistent on drilling into Shiro's head how "broken" he supposedly is, as Sendak is shown doing over and over again. Including taunting Shiro over the non-consensual modifications to his body.
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Harboring a deep sense of shame, and viewing themselves as something dirty, ugly, disgusting, broken, or even monstrous is an experience common among survivors of sexual abuse.
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Having Shiro's physical condition repeatedly mirror his personal tormentor's would be sick and twisted enough.
Adding the context of rape or sexual abuse to Shiro's torment makes the creative decision to intentionally model his arm after his abuser's outright sadistic.
No one deserves to have a constant physical reminder of their abuser and rapist permanently attached to their person. And, attempting to paint Shiro as a "heroic mirror" to Sendak fails entirely when Shiro doesn't so much as get to best Sendak in combat once.
All of the points you've raised about the function and structure of prosthetics are amazing, informative, and highly appreciated. (The comment about Shiro's abominable floating arm looking like it wouldn't be able to support the weight of a grocery bag makes me laugh.) Sadly, there's a faction of the fanbase who are all too quick to fetishize that arm, like everything else surface-level about Shiro. I've seen a number of fics where its ability to be propelled a great distance with a single thought is used to pleasure a partner while Shiro, himself, is in a different room, where the arm is equipped with a vibrating function for use as a sex toy, and, of course, where the thickness of its fingers is sexualized for... the same reason the bulge in the crotch of Shiro's pants is.
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(I beg this fandom to stop reducing this man to a seme stereotype because of his physical build and height. Nothing in his personality suggests that he would be anything even approximating that cursed archetype. Let him be a pillow princess, for God's sake, like he deserves.)
This reply took me forever, and I am sincerely sorry about that. I hope you find something worthwhile in this haphazard collection of thoughts.
And, "Sendick" is how I'm going to be mentally referring to that creep from now on.
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countlessrealities · 11 months
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@kamikotized asked for a small starter from Claw Noir !
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Hesperia's hideout was very different from what Claw Noir was used to. The place where the Supreme summoned him and Shadybug for their mission was at the same time lavish and sterile. There was no warmth or comfort to be found there, only a show of power that had to be always feared and never doubted or challenged.
Adrien had hated that place since day one. It was a reminder of how fleeting and fake the freedom his Miraculous granted him was.
The room he currently stood in, instead, had a completely different energy. He hadn't noticed the first time they had broken into it, he hadn't even looked around. He had been there for one and only reason and nothing else had mattered.
Now everything was different. Himself included.
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"How do you do it?" He asked, stretching a hand out to try and coax one of the magical butterflies to land on his finger. "How can you put up with...everything? Not just the lies, but knowing that you're up against something powerful enough to control the whole world? Aren't you afraid that the people you care for could pay the price?"
In spite of everything, he had been worrying about his father since he had come back from the other universe. The Supreme knew who he was. The moment his and Marinette's betrayal would be revealed, their families would have become a target.
"How can we do both? Fight the Supreme and protect them?"
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dreadgrace · 9 months
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LARK THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.
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teens through late twenties. temporary escape to baldur's gate.
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thirties to (?). first sent to Elturel.
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fifty-two. captures Dagon in Triel.
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four years with Dagon, after which Lark experiences months of re-indoctrination. she is then sent to Thay for a total of five years. Bhaal's worship there sees a resurgence.
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fall of Elturel & act ii.
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act iii and post-game. Lark frequently changes her hairstyle and magically disguises herself to dodge cultists hunting her. her piercings come as she claims her autonomy.
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fxrina · 10 months
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tag dump
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tthebanished · 1 year
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❛ it's me hi! i'm the problem its me! ❜ [ ooc ] ❛ i'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror ❜ [ visage ] ❛ never take advice from someone who's falling apart ❜ [ musing ] ❛ ride or die ❜ [ promos ] ❛ memories are something even smoking weed cannot replace ❜ [ memes ] ❛ you hear me? ❜ [ answered ] ❛ say something i'm giving up on you ❜ [ open starter ] ❛ you're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece ❜ [ aesthetics ] ❛ so you think you know me ❜ [ headcanons ] ❛ lets get drunk & off all our clothes ❜ [ desires ] ❛ i can show you incredible things ❜ [ wishlist ] ❛ listen up fuckers ❜ [ psa ] ❛ tag you're it ❜ [ dash games ] ❛ hurry up and wait ❜ [ queue ]
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cherubfae · 7 months
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accidentally shrunk! || hazbin x reader
with alastor, lucifer, husk, angel dust, & vox
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tags: gn!reader, ftm!reader for angie, fluff, comedy, established relationships,
Alastor
He is quite amused by the whole ordeal, if not a touch worried for your wellbeing. You're utterly tiny, capable of sitting in the palm of his hand like a tiny doll. His claw gently nudges your cheek, tilting your chin up. Using his own magic proves to be futile. After several attempts he's still unable to change you back to your normal self. He isn't sure why his powers don't seem to be taking effect.
Alastor doesn't let anyone else touch or hold you. Legit will hold you in his hand above his head should Vaggie or Charlie try to get a better look at you.
"No, no, no," Alastor clicks his tongue. "I'm afraid I'm not comfortable in letting my dearest love be held by anyone but me. Surely, you understand." He gives you a little smile, his thumb gently stroking your head.
You aren't a little toy and the last thing he wants happening if Niffty mistaking you for a roach, so he prefers to have you sitting atop his shoulder, his head, or safely tucked into the pocket of his waistcoat with your tiny little head poking out to watch the world around you. As much as he finds you adorable and vulnerable in this state, he does prefer you as yourself. He'll probably head to Rosie first, he wants nothing to do with Lucifer. She always has her ear to the ground and he's certain he'll get you returned to normal soon.
Lucifer
Well, that's new. Lucifer is easily able to turn you back to yourself but he wants to have a little fun first. He lifts you up and presses little kisses all over your face, giggling to himself when you press your hands to his rosy cheeks.
"Can't help it, sweetheart! You're too cute!" He gently nuzzles your cheek, placing a loving kiss to the top of your head. He'll shapeshift himself into a mouse and pretend that you're a little fairy about to battle for Narnia.
When he finally turns you back, he is relieved. He much prefers you as your lovely self where you're able to snuggle into his side and hold you properly to his chest, sharing many kisses between you two.
Husk
Shit, this ain't good, but at least yer havin' fun, baby. Husk sighs, leaning his chin against his paws. His yellow eyes flick back and forth in amusement as you treat the bar counter like your own slip-and-slide, watching as you spin around on the shiny wood with a small squeak.
Husk catches you with his tail before you can slide off, lightly placing you back on your feet mirroring the grin you give him. "I'm glad you're having a good time but we gotta figure out how to turn ya back, hun." He leans back against the stool, hoping Charlie has found something or someone who may be able to offer some help.
Charlie, on queue, comes rushing down the stairs holding a light pink pearlescent vial in her hands. "Let's try this!" She stands triumphantly, proudly holding out the vial in her hands. "A drop or two on their head should bring them back to normal height. I have a feeling this will work, but as Plan B we can go to my Dad!" She beams.
Husk nods, giving you a tiny peck on top of your head that only serves to make Charlie coo. Placing you on the floor, Charlie uncaps the vial. A shimmery fuschia-purple liquid smelling of sweet berries oozes out and gently drops onto your head.
A whoosh of pink and yellow unfurls out and soon you're standing before them as mostly yourself. Your hair is now a dyed vibrant pink. Across the room, Alastor who is casually reading the newspaper, snaps his fingers and poof! Your hair is back to normal!
"You could've helped them this whole time?!" Husk hisses, fur bristling. Alastor hums, taking a sip of his black coffee, "Hmm no, just their hair. Good thing they're back in one piece, yes?" He grins. "Too bad you didn't play a little cat and mouse with them. That would have been a sight to behold!"
Angel Dust
As adorable as you are, Angel is fuckin panicking. He's not quite sure what to do and he's terrified of someone accidentally stepping on you. "Okay, baby, I've got ya, hang on!" Angel places you on his chest fluff, his hand holding you in place. Upon returning to his room, Angel begins to pace, wracking his brain for some sort of quick fix.
Depending on how long this magic lasts, Angel will 100% want to play dress up with you and have you try on cute outfits or perhaps make a cute little dollhouse for you. He's too scared of crushing you in his sleep so until this wears off, he doesn't want to risk anything happening to you. He's also worried about Niffty mistaking you for a bug, so when he's out and about, he keeps you close to him at all times. If he has to leave and can't take you with, he instructs Vaggie and Charlie to look after you.
"Do not let Niffty or the Egg Bois around them, got it?" His stern eyes are narrowed, making an expression that he's watching Sir Pentious. "Keep the Eggies in line."
Vox
What the fuck? He blinks, a jolt of electricity nearly short-circuiting himself. "Babe, what the fuck happened to you?" Vox scoops you into his hands, holding you to his chest. He's doing his best not to panic, convinced this is another one of Alastor's stupid fucking pranks. (Alastor has done absolutely nothing. However, Vox swears any inconvenience that happens to him is caused by Alastor's hands.)
Thankfully whatever has happened wasn't permanent. A tiny explosion of sparkles and a poof blue dust has the futuristic demon stumbling back, sighing when you're standing there at your normal height with a hand pressed to your head.
"Holy shit, what the fuck happened?" Vox presses, grasping your hand and pulling you into his lap. He's cupping your face between clawed hands checking for any sign of injury. "Was it Alastor?" You shake your head, coughing out some blue sparkly dust.
"Nah, got caught under some pollen demon's magic on my way to HQ." You grumble, leaning your head onto your boyfriend's shoulder. Vox sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Ok, ok, well, you're back," he grumbles. "Don't do that to me again."
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|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024
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boneblushed · 9 months
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Labyrinth
Uh oh, I’m falling in love / Oh no, I’m falling in love again
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synopsis you’re reunited with your ex-boyfriend, Rafe, at an Outer Banks wedding.
tags Rafe Cameron x fem!reader, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slowburn-ish, A LOT of angst, an equal amount of pining, an awful breakup but a wonderful reconciliation 💓
wc ~11k
“You look,” you murmur, squeezing Brooklyn’s shoulder gently, “perfect.”
She’s sitting in front of a round, gold-rimmed mirror, the windows on either side of her painting her skin a warm aureate. You stand in shadow behind her, the sunbeams unable to reach your pretty features. There’s a wistfulness to them that’s almost imperceptible.
Almost. If she weren’t your best friend, someone you’ve known since forever, she probably wouldn’t have noticed the way you were hiding from them. The smile on her face falters as she looks up at you through the mirror.
“Look,” she begins tentatively, frowning, “if this is too hard —”
“Do not,” you interrupt. You try for an encouraging smile; what you hope is an encouraging smile. “I’m totally fine, okay? I’m over it.”
A pause. Brooklyn’s reflection sends you a long, hard look. “No one would blame you if you weren’t.”
You know what that means, the insinuation behind her words: you were supposed to be the first one. It’s all anyone in the Figure Eight was saying when they first found out about your break-up: you’re meant for each other, though, we can’t imagine you not being a couple!
Well, neither could you, not that it really mattered. Six months on with half a heart and pulseless motive, you’ve come to realise that wretched pining comes at a costly price.
You can’t afford it anymore.
“I know,” you reply quietly.
The spaghetti strap of your cowl neck falls as you straighten, the periwinkle fabric shimmering forebodingly. An image of the Rafe you knew flashes in your mind, slipping it down to press a kiss on your skin. Your stomach drops.
“But I am,” you add, louder. As though you’re trying to convince yourself more than you are her. “I promise.”
Brooklyn stares at you for a long time before her gaze falls, acquiescing with a sigh. “I hate that you still don’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“That he could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve you.”
You bite back another wince, the fresh sting of forgotten feelings pricking at your eyelids. “I do believe it,” you say quietly. “I do. That’s what makes all of this so fucking hard — that I know we’re never getting a second chance. That he chose to throw all of it away and I’m never going to be able to forgive him for it.”
“You shouldn’t have to, though!”
“We were together for half our lives, Brooke!” You turn away from the mirror, taking in a jagged breath. “We — his mom had promised me her ring before she died, for God’s sake. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to walk away from what we had?”
A long pause. Brooke’s voice is gentle, but her words cut like a knife. “It’s not as though you had a choice, Y/N/N. He didn’t give you one.”
You look around at her, unshed tears making your pretty eyes shine. “What does it say about me that I’m no closer to accepting that than I was six months ago?”
“Babe.” A tear falls. Brooke’s features soften, and she pulls you into a tight hug, enough pressure to wring out the melancholy in your chest. “It says that you’re human.”
She rocks you for a moment before you’re forced to pull apart, a knock on the door breaking your reverie. “God,” you self-reproach, sending Brooklyn a watery smile. “I would find a way to make your day about me, wouldn’t I?”
“Maybe I should ditch Kelce,” Brooklyn replies faux-seriously, catching the stray tears wetting your lower lids. “We can elope or something.”
As though on queue, the Universe intervenes before she can go through with this idea. Perhaps it knows, having watched the pair of grow close throughout college, that there’s a part of her that really would call this all off if you asked her to.
“Sweetheart!” Comes Brooklyn’s father’s voice from behind the door, punctuated by the sharp rap of his knuckles. “It’s nearly time!”
The tension ebbs. Suddenly, everything about this wedding—the same one you’ve been helping her plan forever—becomes entirely too real. Your melancholia is a tide in this way, flowing forth and receding as its surroundings permit. Never fading away; ever-present. Though it may not be as unbearable now as it was when you first broke up, it lingers.
You’re afraid that it always will. You push down this fear like you’ve done every other.
Focus. Your eyes widen in anticipation, mirroring Brooklyn’s as they transform into nervous excitement.
“Come in!” Brooklyn calls anxiously, biting back a squeal. You’re grateful for the fact that you haven’t ruined her mood completely. “Oh my god. Oh my god!”
She stands up and turns around just as her father enters the room, his lined face shining with a wistful sense of happiness. As the atmosphere in the room shifts, she glances back at you, and your insides twist in cruel mocking. More repentant than jealous. I was supposed to be the first one.
You don’t let your expression falter. The first few chords of the processional float into the room through the ajar door, and you spring into action, smoothing out your dress and readjusting your bouquet of flowers.
“That’s my queue,” you say, squeezing her arm once more before slipping past her and her father.
In true Kook fashion, Brooklyn’s wedding ceremony is taking place on the Island Club green. Upon exiting the storage room you’ve transformed into a vanity, you find yourself in the entranceway that leads to the venue, the set-up just visible beyond its oak doors.
Benches of beige driftwood sit on either side of the aisle, twined with buttery white lilies and ivy-like viridescence. They face a brilliant floral wedding arch, where the officiant and Kelce stand talking in hushed whispers. And the sky above you is a vibrant, cloudless blue, golden sunlight fanning down upon the crowd, bathing them aureate.
In the beat that passes, you search for someone you shouldn’t.
The last time that you saw him, he was hunched over his father’s office desk. His eyes were bloodshot and his tired gaze dull; half-finished documents stared up at him in mocking, and a nagging ache was making home in his chest.
The week prior, you hadn’t seen much of each other. And it wasn’t as though he’d requested this space—he rarely did, rarely asked you for anything—you’d just taken it upon yourself to give it to him. Stay in control. If you proposed time apart before he did, maybe it would feel more deliberate; hurt less.
You were dead wrong.
“Look,” he sighs, this cruel, heavy sound that splices right through your chest, “I realise I’ve been neglecting our relationship a lot recently.”
“Yes,” you respond tentatively. “But you’ve been under a lot of pressure recently. I get it.”
“You shouldn’t have to.” He glances up at you through red-rimmed irises. “I… I don’t know how long it’ll be like this. With everything that’s happened… my dad dying, and me taking over the firm —”
“I’ve seen you through all of it,” you interrupt quietly, your voice cracking. “I’ve — no questions asked, I’ve done it. I get it, Rafe, you’ve got different priorities at the moment. But we’ve loved each other for so long now that I —”
“But that’s the thing,” he says then, swallowing hard, “I just don’t know if I do anymore. Not as much as I used to.”
The silence that follows feels as though it’s suffocating you. You haven’t said a word, and Rafe’s said plenty, but it’s you with the lungs that heave for loveless oxygen.
“Oh.”
Rafe’s Adam’s apple jumps again, and he breaks eye contact as unshed tears brim to the surface. “I’m sorry.”
It doesn’t make any sense.
“Maybe,” you try, grappling hard for a logical explanation, “maybe your grief’s fucking with your ability to feel anything.”
Rafe’s gaze lifts to your face again, teardrop tracks making your pretty cheeks shine. His heart aches, hard, and he finds it difficult to catch his breath. “But… I’ve dealt with it,” he says quietly. “I’ve had to.”
“How can you have?” You throw back, exasperated. “Rafe you — you haven’t had a moment to yourself since his funeral last month, you’ve holed yourself up in his office and acted like everything’s fucking okay!”
“Because it is!” He replies, his face hardening momentarily. “I’m — I’m fucking fine, alright? I just need to be alone right now.”
“Because you don’t love me anymore.”
Rafe winces. Your lower lip trembles. “Yeah. Because something’s missing… the — the fucking spark, or whatever… and right now, I can’t give you the sort of love you deserve.”
He was tired of hurting you through his abjection, he’d said. As if breaking things off wasn’t the most hurtful thing he ever did.
Thankfully, you aren’t able to spot him in the crowd; if you had, walking down the aisle would have been infinitely more difficult. Out of courtesy to you—and Brooke forcing his hand, of course—he hadn’t asked Rafe to be a groomsman either, so you were well safe from an untimely encounter at pre-wedding festivities. And from standing opposite him in front of the altar. You aren’t sure such close proximity in holy matrimony would be healthy for either of you.
It’s unfair on him though, you know it is. He has as much a right being best man as you do maid of honour — the four of you were thick as thieves once upon a time; in fact, it was you that’d introduced Kelce to Brooklyn.
It feels like so long ago when you think back on it now, being nineteen-years-old with a naïve heart and nothing to lose.
You and Rafe had seemed invincible then, high-school sweethearts that were somehow surviving college-borne distance. Forever, that’s the word that ended every drunk call or late night text; forever, and the promise of a proposal and beach-side villa.
“Shi—did you not see the sock on the door, Smith?” Rafe groans, his forehead dropping to your shoulder in defeat. He’s spent the past half hour getting you into a compromising position, his rough hands awry and his wet mouth on your soft skin. The amaranthine imprint of his kisses have made home on your neck. You’re straddling him with your arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he really doesn’t want to sacrifice any amount of closeness.
Kelce enters the room tentatively, his hand firmly pressed over his eyes. “Hard to miss. You two decent or what?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
You let out a peal of laughter as Rafe glowers at his roommate, his calloused palms dropping from your hips to your thighs. You push the fabric of your dress over his hands, but he kneads the flesh anyway, the skin on skin like spare oxygen.
Kelce peeks at you from between his fingers before pulling them away, an unimpressed look on his face. “C’mon, surely you’re done with her Cameron. I’ve given you guys the entire fucking day together.”
“Half an hour,” Rafe replies, his blue eyes narrowing.
“As if you need more than five minutes,” Kelce snorts, plopping down on the bed opposite Rafe’s.
“Oh fuck—” Rafe’s large hands circle your thighs and tighten, standing up and advancing toward Kelce with you in his arms, “—right off—”
“Rafe!” You gasp, suppressing another surprised laugh. “Put me down, you asshole.”
“No way, Y/N/N,” Kelce says then, raising his arms in preemptive surrender. “Your PDA’s the only reason he hasn’t given me a shiner yet.”
Rafe affirms this sentiment by pressing a chaste kiss to your temple, his eyes still narrowed as he glares at Kelce. “You’re lucky I love my girlfriend more than I do my fucking reputation.”
Kelce makes a face, keeling over and mock-gagging. “Yeah, yeah, you guys have been bethrothed since fucking pre-K, I get it. Now will you stop being so possessive and let me have a conversation with her?”
You look over your shoulder at him, untangling your arms from Rafe’s neck so he can let you down gently. When he does so, it’s with great reluctance, and he doesn’t hesitate to circle your chest so he can pull you back against him. His strong bicep is warm against your neck, solid pressure.
“What’s up, Kelcey?” You ask, surveying him with interest.
“Ghosted,” he says gloomily, falling back against his duvet, “again.”
Rafe glances down at you at the same time you look up at him, a sage, sympathetic emotion passing between you. In the weeks after your break-up, you’ll come to yearn for this emotion more than anything else — that feeling of being immune to inadequacy, of having found the love of your life so effortlessly.
“You’ve gotta stop coming on so hard, bro,” Rafe says, resting his chin on your forehead. “These sorority chicks are probably all looking for something casual.”
“He can’t help the fact that he’s a lover boy, Rafe,” you defend, frowning. “You’ve just gotta find a girl that wants what you want, Kelce.”
Kelce raises his head hopefully. “Know anyone like that, Y/N/N?”
“Well,” you pause, chewing your bottom lip thoughtfully, “I am thinking of inviting my roommate Brooklyn to the Bahamas over summer break —”
“To Rafe’s?” This piques Kelce’s interest. He props himself up onto his elbows, a hopeful grin transforming his features. “Sold.”
How times change.
Today, Kelce stands at the other end of the aisle, waiting for the same Brooklyn that was once your roommate, now his almost wife. He’s wearing an elegant black tuxedo with a lily tucked into the breast pocket, its buttery white petals shining in the sun. He looks so, unimaginably, happy. It should’ve been you and Rafe. Your heartstrings twinge.
“You’re not ready,” you murmur as you pass him on the altar, finding your place opposite his best man, Topper.
Kelce smiles at you, a little nervous, a little unshed. “Will I ever be?”
You shake your head, smiling in tandem.
The wedding procession is a brilliant display of love, and you find a way to make it about your lack thereof. Seconds blur, minutes melt into each other, and your poor mind strays to when things were far simpler. The Island Club was your date night spot, once upon a time. It’s where you’d envisioned you’d get proposed to; where you would get married one day, too. Just like this.
You’re happy for them, you swear it. It’s just a difficult emotion to maintain when the opposite comes so naturally.
Rafe doesn’t arrive until the reception itself.
He wants to believe that this is entirely accidental — he’s had a long day at the office, filled with several meetings with prospective clients. He can’t though, his wretched conscience won’t let him. He chose to go to work today, chose to schedule important meetings at the same time as Kelce’s nuptials.
He thinks he knows why this is, and isn’t sure whether he can handle the why in a satin slip and strappy heels. He wants to believe that he meant everything he said to you six months prior, but the dreadful ache in his chest crescendos in mocking every time he tries this.
He’s made a mistake. He won’t admit this if it killed him. But he knows, deep down, that something isn’t right about all of this.
If he really didn’t love you anymore, if that fucking spark was missing, there shouldn’t have been anything to move on from—the ship should have already departed. But he’s struggling, hard, and his thoughts juxtapose his actions. Despite telling you that he needs to be alone for the time being, you remain unmoored in his mind, rocking back and forth but never sinking.
He’s done his fair share of fucking up over the past few months. Got into something else too quickly, tried that no contact thing and failed miserably. There’s no going back after everything that’s happened. And yet…
“Hello?” He greets you like it’s a question; like greeting you isn’t second nature anymore. Your stomach turns.
When you respond, your voice comes out jagged, pained. “Look. I get that you’re doing this ‘no contact’ thing, or whatever, but Sarah told me something pretty fucked up and I think you owe me an explanation.” Your voice is far weaker.
Rafe winces, a familiar ache pulling through his chest. “If this is about Elle —”
“It’s been a month, Rafe. You may as well have cheated.”
…that fucking hug.
After you’d confronted him about shamelessly flirting with Sarah’s friend, Elle—in front of Sarah, no less, who told you the second it happened—he’d asked to meet up in person and explain himself.
You weren’t quite sure what to make of it all, which is probably why you’d foolishly agreed to hear him out. Ward had hired Elle as an intern before his death; she’d been around a while, long enough for an affair.
It shifted bile into your throat.
And when you’d met him, the exact opposite of what you’d hoped had happened. He’d had the gall to tell you that he thinks something’s there, that he feels that bullshit spark that he swore was missing in your relationship.
What were you meant to say?
But then he’d apologised, recognised it was too soon, begged to stay friends. Friends—like a platonic relationship is in any way gift receipt redeemable. And ironically, hearing him out wasn’t even your biggest mistake, it was that wretched hug goodbye that you’d permitted you get.
It was as though that hug held everything unsaid. Your figure had moulded against his quite perfectly, and why wouldn’t it? He’s the only romantic embrace you’d known since you were a teenager.
And when you’d finally pulled away, separated the pieces of your heart that were finally greeting his again, you hadn’t realised that he’d think about that hug for weeks gone by, just like you.
All the way up until Christmas, which occurred two months after your sudden break-up.
It was the last time you saw him under the pretence of amicability, when you came by Tannyhill to drop off presents and see his family. Mostly him. It felt pathetic, even then; for all you knew, Elle was on his mind and you were somewhere insignificant.
Rafe’s pretty sure he’s fucking doomed.
Your laugh reverberates through Tannyhill like a siren song, and he’s pretty sure he’ll never not recognise the sound of it. It’s as though every bone in his body vibrates in tune to it—so unabashed, so freeing. Far more painful now than it used to be.
You’ve become so many Taylor Swift songs and none of them end happy.
He follows your sweet timbre to the hallway before he can help himself. Once upon a time—God, it feels so long ago now—he’d have been the first person you’d have texted before dropping by the house. Instead, as he stands paralysed at the foot of the stairs, it’s Sarah who’s hugging you, who gets to hold you in her arms.
Luckily for him, your eyes are closed in the embrace, and he’s afforded a second to recalibrate after taking you in. He’s known that you’re beautiful like his first memory on Earth, but that doesn’t mean your proximity leaves him any less winded. You’re fresh-faced with limbs that have an untouchable quality to them; you aren’t his to mark anymore, no longer his to ruin.
He can’t remember the last time he kissed you. He wants to remember so fucking bad. You’re slipping through his calloused fingers and fragments of you are all he has.
“You didn’t have to get us anything!” Sarah exclaims, pulling away faux-disprovingly.
“Hey, don’t do that, of course I did.” Your arms fall back to your side, and you open your eyes in tandem. When they flit past Sarah’s face and find Rafe’s instead, it feels as though someone has tipped ice-cold water down your singlet. A pause. “You’re family.”
Sarah notes the change in your tone with a frown, turning to look over her shoulder. “Oh,” she says, her expression hardening. “Sorry, Y/N/N. I didn’t know he was home.”
You swallow. “It’s no big,” you reply, forcing yourself to look back at her. “We’re alright, really. But I should go, I have a few more presents to drop off.”
Sarah frowns harder. “You sure you don’t want to stay a bit? I know Rose’d love to see you, we’ve all really missed having you around —”
“I’m sure,” you interrupt, handing her the bag of presents you’ve wrapped. “I’ll send her a text, okay? And listen,” you pause, your expression softening a little, “I know this holiday season’s going to be hard without your dad, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”
Sarah’s eyes well with tears. “It’s going to be hard without you too, Y/N,” she murmurs. “You’re my sister.”
Your features sadden in tandem, and you give her shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “And I always will be. You know that.”
“You should come to Christmas, then,” she says hopefully.
“I —” you falter as your voice cracks, grimacing slightly, “— I’m sorry. I don’t think I can.”
When you turn around, something in Rafe’s chest cracks too. He’s still hanging on to that expression-softening catalyst from a moment prior, yearning hard for the feeling of being on the receiving end of your love.
“Why the fuck,” Sarah fumes, rounding on him once you’re out of earshot, “do you have to ruin everything you touch?”
Rafe doesn’t even have it in him to wince. “I don’t know,” he responds quietly, with an honesty that aches. “If I did, maybe I’d have found a way to fix it.”
Sarah takes pause. Slight disbelief transforms her features. “You have to still love her. How can’t you?”
“I don’t know, alright?” Rafe runs his hand through his hair slovenly. “I just — I’m not happy anymore. It’s not fucking there… I don’t know if it’ll ever come back.”
“What isn’t?”
“The… the spark.”
“Bullshit,” Sarah spits out, accusatory. “The ‘spark’ is fucking bullshit, Rafe. You’re telling me you’ve felt it the entire time you’ve known her? You’re telling me this doesn’t have anything to do with dad’s death?”
Rafe swallows thickly, discomfort coating his throat. “I don’t, alright? All I know is I can’t give her what she needs right now; I don’t know if I ever will.”
To this day, he doesn’t know about your detour that evening — how instead of driving home, you took a left to the look-out where you shared your first kiss. He doesn’t know that the waves crashing ashore bore witness to your heartbreak; that sunset orange painted your tear-streaked cheeks a gentler amber. Caressed them, subdued them, where he no longer could. He doesn’t know you agonised over how much his hair had grown in your absence, the subtle stubble on his jaw, the stark outline of his biceps.
The him that’s foreign to you, now; the him that’s Elle’s and not yours.
At twenty-four years old, Rafe Cameron doesn’t know fucking anything.
Of course, once he does eventually recognise that his ‘something there’ with Elle is a rebound, it’s too late to entertain returning to you with his tail between his legs.
He can’t. Not after everything he’s put you through in the past. So he allows regret to caulk his limbs and bitterness to coat his insides, and Rafe Cameron does what he does best — pushes it down and ignores it.
Which brings him here, a non-attendee to his best friend’s wedding and an hour late to his reception.
He sidles into the venue through a pair of double doors, and the first thing he notices is the dimmed sconces and muted fairy lights. It’s the first thing, because perplexingly, the crowd is hard to discern but you glow anyway. A spotlight illuminates the centre of the room where Brooklyn and Kelce share their first dance, but they don’t draw his gaze, your beautiful features do.
Of course you do, in your strappy cowl neck slip. There’s less periwinkle fabric than he’d anticipated, more exposed limbs, and Rafe feels like he’s run a fucking marathon as he takes you in. And your pretty eyes and glossy lips cascade into a bare neck; soft skin that’s forgotten his rough touch, his bruising kisses.
It’s momentary lust that his regret promptly squashes. He can’t think those thoughts about you anymore, even if they’re almost second nature. Even if he’s spent more tangible years of his life as your boyfriend than he has a fucking stranger.
That’s what you guys are meant to be right now: strangers. His stomach coils. His tired eyes search for the open bar on instinct.
Once he’s acquired a whiskey neat and a glass of champagne, he pulls through the crowd and makes toward your figure.
You aren’t as lucky as he is to mentally prepare for a reunion. When he holds out the shimmering flute and prompts your gaze toward him, there’s a split-second of slack-jawed diffidence before you find your common sense.
God, you wish he wasn’t so easy to stare at.
He’s wearing an expression that isn’t yours anymore, with his thick brows furrowed and lips slightly parted. Yearning, but he can’t be. His blue eyes make your heart leap. Your gaze lifts before it falls, taking in his damp hair, his larger than ever frame. Both feel unfamiliar; he’s shed the skin and aureate curls your fingers once traced. Same notes of patchouli on his neck, though you note the absence of the silver chain you once bought him for Christmas.
Does he still have it, somewhere, hidden in a shoebox under his bed? (His hand is so close to your chest, it feels like you’re dying.) Is it as painful for him to see you like this after months and months of no contact?
Can’t be. Shouldn’t be. The ache may linger, agonisingly, but you’re stronger now than you were when he first ended things.
“Oh,” is all you can muster, accepting the flute of champagne. When your fingers brush, you reprimand the jolt of static. Lust may be hard to shake, but you resolve to let logic prevail. “Thanks.”
Rafe feels it too, harder, more unbearable. “Don’t mention it.”
You break eye contact to look out into the crowd, though it’s a struggle finding anything to focus on. “When’d you arrive?”
“Five minutes ago,” he admits, staring at your side profile for a second longer than he probably should. He analyses the glittery stuff on your cheekbones—highlighter?—for traces of a familiar feeling. “Work shit.”
“Ah,” you reply, raising your eyebrows at him. “Some things never change, huh?”
Rafe winces. “Look, Y/N, I —”
“I’m kidding, Rafe, relax,” you interrupt, sending him a small smile. It makes his stomach turn. “It’s all going well, I hope?”
“It is, yeah,” he responds, smiling in tandem. “Ish. Still doing a fuck tonne of late nights and weekends.”
“Bummer.” It feels strange, making small talk in this way. Strange, though not particularly as awful as you’d predicted. “How’re Rose and your sisters?”
“Yeah, they’re good,” they miss you, “Sarah’s going to UCLA in the fall.”
You nod. “She told me.”
Something in Rafe’s chest drops. He turns to you, his piercing gaze making your skin burn. “I didn’t realise you guys kept in touch.”
“We’ve always been really close. You know that.”
Because of me. “Right.” His eyes fall to your throat as you take another pull of champagne, smooth and unblemished and painfully foreign. “I’m glad.”
You turn to him then, an unreadable expression on your face. “Me too.”
A beat. The pair of you stare at each as the surroundings buzz into static.
“Listen, Rafe, I —”
“Y/N, I’ve been —”
You falter first, scrunching up your face abashedly. “Sorry. You go.”
“I…” Rafe pauses, running his calloused palm through his hair, “I guess I just want to apologise. For everything.”
Your eyes widen, and you turn away from him abruptly. “Rafe, I don’t know if now is the best time to have this conversation.”
“Shit, I know. I know I’m about five months too late and don’t deserve to be heard out.”
“Well,” you pause, chewing on your bottom lip apprehensively. Your voice quietens. “Maybe not at a wedding.”
Or ever. You tip back the rest of your champagne just as the slow dance fades out, breaking away from him. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”
Rafe fucking hopes so. He needs a clean slate if it’ll kill him. He nods reluctantly, watching you disappear into the crowd in front of him. The ache in his chest crescendos as the physical distance swallows you completely.
“We love you,” Brooklyn mouthes, blowing you a kiss through the open window. The limousine she’s in stretches forward with jet-black grandiosity, its ignition blaring alive as you catch it in mid-air.
When you blow one back, Kelce peeks over her shoulder and sends you a wink. The pair of them wave to the wedding-goers surrounding you before the vehicle pulls forward, leaving you in its dust. You watch them exit the Island Club gates, and a sense of bittersweet melancholia finds home in your chest.
That should’ve been you. You turn around as the crowd begins to disperse and find yourself face to face with Rafe once again.
“Oh,” you say, looking up at him in surprise. When your expression relaxes—in recognition—his chest pulls in tandem. “They’re sweet, huh?”
Us; that should’ve been us. Rafe nods, smiling wistfully. “Can you believe you’re the one that set them up?”
“At your holiday house,” you return, smiling in tandem. “This was a two-person wing man job.”
“Nah. You were the one that saw their potential.” A pause. “You’ve always been really good at that.”
Your brow furrows. “At setting people up?”
“At seeing their potential,” Rafe corrects. An unreadable emotion crosses his blue irises. “Even when they don’t deserve it.”
Your expression falters. You aren’t sure what to say to this, so you don’t say anything at all.
“Listen,” Rafe tries again, scratching the back of his neck, “d’you need a ride?”
“Well…”
You hesitate, looking over his shoulder for your parents. When you spot them, they’re in avid conversation with some family friends; they look extremely comfortable, like they’re going to be dawdling until God knows when.
You’re searching for justification even though he doesn’t deserve it. After all the pain he’s caused you, your wretched heart still yearns for more.
Fucking sadist.
“Actually, yeah,” you finish after a beat, bringing your gaze back to him. “That’d be great, thank you.”
His shoulders relax. “Yeah, of course. You have all your things?”
“Uh huh.”
“This way.”
You allow him to guide you to his pick-up trunk, pretend that you didn’t discern it right away. Besides, you were meant to have forgotten the location of his unofficial ‘official’ parking spot. So you follow him toward it, deny the familiarity of its number plate, and act like every dent and wretched scratch isn’t a piece of your heart.
“Shit—ow!” You curse, hurtling forward as you stall, again. “This is fucking impossible, Rafe. I quit.”
Rafe grins perplexedly, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Baby,” he placates, “if Top can learn to drive manual, anyone can.”
You make a frustrated noise, crossing your arms over your chest. “Not me, clearly.”
Rafe lets out a laugh, unbuckling your seatbelt so he can pull you into his lap. “C’mere.”
When he does so—with entirely too much ease—he pinches your chin between his forefinger and thumb so he can guide your lips against his. It’s an unhurried kiss, a sure press of emotion, as though he’s rousing the embers that live within your ribcage.
He has this funny way of leaving you out of breath no matter how chaste the embrace. You break away reluctantly, raising your eyebrows at him. “So is this the reward system you used when you were teaching him to drive, hot-shot?”
Rafe makes a face, dipping his head to sponge a kiss to your neck. “Why? You jealous?”
“Never,” you sigh, running your fingers through his hair. “You wouldn’t dream of leaving me for someone else, Rafe Cameron. The Figure Eight wouldn’t forgive you if you did.”
“I wouldn’t forgive myself if I did.” Another teeth-scraping kiss. “I’d be crazy to let you go. I’ve been in love with you since we were freshman.”
He doesn’t open the passenger’s side door for you after unlocking his pick-up truck. That isn’t his place anymore.
He wants to, anyway. You want him to, badly. This revelation passes unsaid between the two of you as you climb into the seat yourself, unscathed by chivalry.
Once you’re buckled in, your gaze lifts to the new air freshener dangling from the rearview mirror. “Huh,” you say, flicking it absently, “you replaced it.”
He wants to say, you left me no choice. He wants to say, old spice smells like you. “Oh yeah,” he replies instead, clearing his throat. “Rose got me it.”
“It’s nice.”
“Thanks.”
He shifts into reverse and backs out of the park, and there’s a split second where he almost places his hand on your headrest. He can’t do that anymore. Too close; not close enough. You notice it too. An ache passes from his heart to yours.
“Are you going to take any time off over summer break?” You ask, keeping your gaze on the road ahead.
Rafe pulls out onto the main road before turning to you and responding, “I wasn’t planning on it, but I think I might need some.”
“I think you might need some too,” you agree, sending him a fleeting smile. “Bahamas?”
You don’t expect the tears in his eyes that follow. You straighten abruptly, your eyebrows pulling together. “Sorry, I didn’t mean —”
“No—shit, I just—” he falters as his voice cracks, clearing his throat again, “I don’t think I could go back there any time soon. Too many memories.”
Your expression softens. “Your dad, of course. I get it. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry about.” He takes in a jagged breath. “Shit, I’m the one that should be apologising. For everything.”
“Rafe —”
“No, listen…”
He pauses as he turns left onto your street, pulling onto the side of the road as soon as he can. He’s still a good mile away from your house, but it feels an injustice to keep you waiting for an explanation. When he turns and angles his body toward you, there’s a brokenness on his face that makes your miserable heart falter.
“I’m… I’m so sorry for everything I put you through after I broke up with you. Even if that was what I needed at the time, even if it was the right decision, I shouldn’t have been so fucking heartless and I regret not reaching out to you more often.”
You swallow thickly. He takes your silence as encouragement to keep going.
“You deserved better than the way I treated you… you’ve always deserved better than me. I didn’t know how to deal with all of my grief and I pushed you away in the process. It was… fuck, it was so selfish of me, and I’m sorry. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t hate myself for it.”
He’s taken all of the oxygen in the car, and you find yourself struggling for air. You turn to him, every drunken rationalisation manifest. “Thank you,” you whisper, “for saying that.”
“And listen, the Elle thing —”
Too much. “Rafe,” you interrupt, swallowing again. “Stop. It’s fine. I accept your apology.”
Rafe frowns, the furrow in his brow painfully evident. “Yeah? Because… because I’d understand if you didn’t.”
“Yeah,” you affirm, turning away from him. “Besides, it’s ancient history. I forgave you a long time ago in my head.”
“You did?” Rafe’s asks, searching your features in earnest. “Why?”
The champagne you’ve consumed swirls uncomfortably in your stomach. “I had to,” you say quietly. “It was the only way I was going to be able to move on from the situation.”
Rafe’s stomach drops. “Which you have.”
“Which I have.”
The smokescreen between you smothers any semblance of hope you might’ve shared. He nods, turning on the ignition once again. “I hope that means you’re happy, Y/N.”
“It does,” you reply, “I am.”
“Good.” It doesn’t feel good at all. “Maybe this means we can be friends.”
You turn to him again, raising your eyebrows. “Friends?”
“Like we were before,” he affirms, putting the car into drive. His fingers brush the bare skin of your thigh near the gearshift. A very unfriend-like jolt of static shoots into your chest. “I… I don’t know. Sometimes I think I just miss my best friend.”
Your heart sighs. “Me too.”
“Friends then.”
“Yeah,” you reply, sending him a small smile. “Friends.”
You haven’t been to Shake Shack since you broke up with Rafe. You didn’t even realise you’d evaded it so long; perhaps it was a subconscious thing, too many painful memories to bear.
You remember when it first opened up in the Banks, this egalitarian refuge nestled between the Cut and Figure Eight.
Rafe Cameron remembers too, remembers bringing you here on your very first date. Roguish at fourteen with endless charm and a handsome face, he had far less creases etched onto his forehead then; far less familial expectations to deal with.
If only you knew he’s evaded it too. When he pulls into the carpark, the aforementioned date comes forth in fragments.
When memories lie dormant so long in one’s head, they tend to lose the stitches that hold them together. Nervousness, excitement, cherry coke and a lilac singlet. The strange feeling of forever before either of you could place it. He doesn’t remember any of your conversation, nor how long the date lasted, but he remembers the cloudless sky, the flutter of new love in his stomach.
The pair of you share a look before exiting his pick-up truck. A look that says: uh oh, and insinuates far more than that.
“So how’s work going, anyway?” Rafe asks, shoving his hands into his front pockets. He’s a beat behind you head toward the entrance, and you can feel your neck burn where his eyes remained trained on you.
“Yeah, alright, same old,” you say, sending him a fleeting smile over your shoulder. His blue irises are dappled golden in sunlight, and their brilliance unsteadies you, the eye-contact like a firestarter. You clear your throat. “Sam quit.”
Rafe’s eyes widen. “You’re kidding.”
“Not kidding,” you shake your head, “he ended things with Peyton and booked a Contiki in South East Asia.”
“Shiiiiiit,” Rafe wolf whistles, shaking his head in tandem. “Is he going through some kind of quarter life crisis?”
You shrug. “Who would let someone like Peyton go, huh?”
Rafe resists the urge to wince. He can think of one person in particular who threw away something far more special. He clears his throat significantly, regret like molasses coating the sides of his windpipe. “Yeah. How’s she doing with it all?”
“Oh you know Peyton, she’s the queen of acting unbothered,” you reply, sounding reproachful. “Even when she’s heartbroken, she refuses to tell me about it.”
Rafe frowns. “Fuck that.”
“Yeah?” You send him a wayward glance, raising your eyebrows knowingly. “Cause to me, it sounds like someone else I used to know.”
There’s a pause as he meets your gaze, a frightening wistfulness passing between you. It lingers.
“Right.” You’re at the entrance to Shake Shack now, and Rafe grapples for purchase on the one thing he can control—friends. He pulls open the door and beckons you forward, “So. Is today the day you branch out and order something new, Y/N?”
When you pass by him, a tendril-like brush of shoulder on chest, the buttery scent of your vanilla perfume lingers. A lot about you does, a lot more than he’d care to admit.
Rafe’s wretched heart cycles between the old and new you like it’s trying to make them both fit within its chambers.
“Don’t think I have a choice,” you reply, sending him a smile over your shoulder. “They’ve completely revamped their menu since the last time we were here.”
Rafe raises his eyebrows at you. “They have?” You checked?
“Uh huh,” you reply, nodding. “I was going to make a reservation here for our anniversary way back when.” You clear your throat. “When I went on their website to do so, I realised that their menu was totally different.”
You leave out the part where you’d stopped by soon after, asked—no, begged—the manager to serve you the originals when you came. You know, when old time’s sake was a sacred concept. When that sweet, lovesick version of you still existed.
“Oh shit,” Rafe says. Though it’s subtle, he catches the smidge of diffidence in your voice, like the ghost of relationship’s past rearing its ugly head. You checked, for him, and you’re so nonchalant about it. Like it may have mattered then, but right now it matters far less.
He feels an awful twinge in his chest. He adds, “That sucks.” He isn’t sure whether he’s referring to the change in menu or the change in your heart’s purpose.
“I know.”
“I was looking forward to ordering the usual.”
“Me too.” You shrug. “We’re just going to have to find a new usual, I guess.”
What you mean is, make new memories that’ll replace the old ones. What you mean is, erase the nostalgia being here brings.
Also, though you’d never willingly admit it, start anew.
Rafe nods, stepping forward and glancing up at the menu. Though it’s different to the one he remembers from his youth, the interior of the diner is comfortingly familiar — same ugly yellow track lights, same checkered linoleum underfoot. Same fingerprint-smudged counter and broken drinks machine, same uniform on the workers, same greasy smell permeating.
And the same booth you were partial to nestled in one corner, it’s retro cushion covers faded as ever.
The menu, and the girl beside him. The only two things that feel different.
“Hm.” You frown, deliberating over the menu. “I’m thinking the ‘classic’. You want to split some curly fries?”
Rafe raises his eyebrows, his blue eyes full of mirth. “So the one that’s exactly your old order, minus the pickles. Got it.”
“Yes,” you decide. “Except I’ll ask them to add pickles.”
“Of course you will.” Rafe grins. “I’ll get the same.”
You gasp, faux-scandalised. “Rafe Cameron eating pickles? Now I’ve seen everything.”
Rafe raises his eyebrows. “How d’you know I’m not just ordering it to pawn ‘em off to you?”
You balk. “I don’t, I guess.”
“And yes, to the curly fries,” he adds, quick to change the subject. The bashfulness on your features dissipates, but the tension in the room weighs ever-present.
You nod, sliding your wallet out of your back-pocket. “Should we just split the bill, then?”
“No way,” Rafe says, clasping your wrist to hold it in place. Your pulse feels funny. “I got it.”
“Rafe.” You frown, shaking your head. “Look, it really isn’t a big deal —”
It is to me. “Exactly,” he interrupts. “Which is why I got it.”
Maybe you should argue some more, insist on paying until he gives in. But you don’t. Between the pulse-jolting closeness and mocking sense of nostalgia, you aren’t sure you have it in you to retaliate.
Though in an act of rebellion, you avoid your usual booth. Once you’re seated at a new table and separated by your burgers, you re-enter this stupid friendship thing you’ve adopted. The one that boasts no-strings like the red one isn’t obvious.
“So,” you say, popping a curly fry in your mouth. “You remember Maya, right?”
Rafe makes a face. “That psycho roommate you had in senior year? Yeah, pretty hard to forget.”
“Well, she hit me up a month ago to let me know she’d be in the Banks to see her boyfriend.” At his audible gasp, you nod significantly. “I know. Asked if I wanted to catch up while she was here.”
Rafe wolf whistles in amusement. “No fucking way. After the Hell she put you through?”
“I fucking know,” you reply, grimacing in disdain.
Rafe raises his eyebrows, swallowing down a handful of curly fries. “Tell me you said no.”
You raise yours in tandem. “What do you think, casanova?”
“Y/N!” He groans, shaking his head. “Why do you put yourself through this shit?”
You frown, reaching for your soda and sipping stubbornly. Condensation rolls down your palm, the soft skin shining. “C’mon! It was useful, I swear. I got the intel on Maya and her mystery OBX man.”
Rafe leans forward in interest, taking a pull of his soda too. “Go on then.”
“God, I’ve been sitting on this information for ages,” you say, your pretty eyes full of excitement. Rafe’s heart leaps. “I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out, but we weren’t talking and you were avoiding me and I didn’t know whether I should break no contact.”
It deflates just as quickly, sinking into his stomach like deadweight. “I wasn’t… I don’t know, I thought it’d be best if I kept my distance.” He sighs, sitting back and raking his fingers through his hair. “Clearly that was a mistake. I haven’t been this relaxed in fucking ages.”
You smile small. “Yeah. This is nice.”
“Nice.”
“Anyway,” you clear your throat, this sticky, molasses-like something rising from your chest, “it’s Dylan. Like Dylan fucking Young that had a crush on me in freshman year.”
“Fuck off, seriously?” Rafe replies, mirth evident on his features. “Not kidding, think it’d be grounds for a restraining order if she ever found that out.”
“That’s what I’m saying!” You exclaim, raising your eyebrows significantly. “You promise to take this to your grave, Cameron?”
Rafe nods, faux-somber, extending his pinky toward you. “He won’t hear it from me, Y/L/N.”
When your fingers entwine, you wonder whether he feels it too. It’s a jolt of static that leaves your skin warm and your insides funny, and you wonder whether the effect it has on you is endearing or pathetic.
The latter, you conclude. The red string of fate disagrees.
“Good,” you say, retrieving your hand. “Oh, and,” you take a generous bite of your burger, “did you hear that Taylor’s moving to Texas?”
“I did, actually,” Rafe replies. “From Top, funnily enough.”
You frown. “He’s still pining, huh?”
“Unfortunately.” He pulls apart his burger to pick out the green pickles, placing them onto your plate before re-assembling. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world. In the offensive, fluorescent lighting, they shine up at you in mocking. “Anyway, I should probably learn to get used to it. I’m moving into Kelce’s room now that he’s happily wed.”
Your jaw slackens in surprise. “You’re moving in with Topper?”
Rafe grins. “I know. Who would’ve thought, huh?”
“But,” you pause, popping another curly fry into your mouth, “why?”
“Needed to get out of Tannyhill, I guess.” He falters, swallowing down the bile-like rise of emotion from his chest. “Too many memories.”
Your expression softens. “That makes sense.”
“Besides, Sarah’s starting college soon, and Wheeze’s off at boarding school for the majority of the year anyway.” He shrugs. “And Rose… well, she’s at the Bahamas house more than she is in the OBX.”
“Too many memories,” you repeat, frowning sadly.
“Yeah. I guess.”
There’s silence then, the comfortable kind. An emotion passes between you that feels both familiar and new at the same time.
It matters less when you finally finish, what you speak about, whether you’ll meet again. All you know is, something feels different now, as though there’s embers that this reunion has reignited in your ribcage. Dormant though they had once been, you’d always hoped that the renewed hope would set them aflame.
The next day, you wake up to a text from Rafe.
thank you for yesterday. It was really nice.
You don’t have it in you to reply; Rafe doesn’t mind. He knows you feel the same way.
It’s a few weeks before you see him again, at a farewell party for Brooklyn and Kelce.
Prior to embarking on their honeymoon, they were shifting their lives to Chicago; laying down the foundations of stability so they could return to a clean slate.
It upsets you to no end. You’d always assumed that her marriage to Kelce would guarantee that she settles down in the Banks.
Rafe Cameron must remember this, the way he does everything else. He hands you a beer and clinks his own against it, beads of condensation sliding over his calloused hand.
“Huh,” he murmurs, shaking his head in faux-disappoint, “so much for staying here and ruling the Eight with an iron fist.”
“That’s what I’m saying!” You exclaim, taking a generous pull of beer. Rafe’s gaze falls to the bare column of your throat, and he temporarily loses his bearings. “Does loyalty mean absolutely nothing around here?”
Rafe grins appreciatively. “They’re bound to come back, you know.”
“And how can you be so sure?”
“Because,” Rafe pauses, lowering his voice conspiratorially, “we were all cursed by the hometown witch when we were babies.”
You let out a peal of laughter. “Is that why I came back here after college?”
It isn’t lost on you that Rafe is standing far closer to you than he should. His spicy, cedar-wood cologne presses over your figure in waves. He bows his head to eye level, still grinning his mirth, “It’s why we all did. It’s also why they aren’t going to last more than a year in Chicago, I’m calling it now.”
“Who isn’t going to last more than a year in Chicago?” Comes Brooklyn’s voice from behind him, pulling the pair of you from your reverie.
He breaks away and turns to find her standing behind him, her eyebrows raised accusatorially at your closeness.
You smile guiltily at her, raising your arms in surrender. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t deny it either!” Brooklyn reproaches, faux-scandalised. She sends Rafe a playful glare, reaching for your arm and pulling you away. “I’m rescuing her from your bad influence, Cameron.”
Rafe nods sagely, taking a sip of his beer. “I think that’s wise, Astor—” he balks, shaking his head, “—sorry, Smith. Shit, Brooklyn Smith, huh? Guess I can’t do that last name thing ‘round here anymore, can I?”
“Not with us,” she replies, turning the pair of you around. She sends you the ghost of a wink before adding, “Y/N’s fair game, though. You know she’d rather die than take a guy’s last name.”
Something in Rafe’s chest deflates. “Yeah?”
You frown at him over your shoulder, mildly bewildered. “You knew that, Cameron.”
Maybe I thought I was different. “True.” He raises his beer bottle in acknowledgement. “Besides, Y/L/N suits you too much.”
Not as much as Cameron would have, once upon a time. You nod approvingly, the twinge in your heart conveying the exact opposite. “Doesn’t it just?”
Brooklyn steers you to the kitchen under the pretence of grabbing a drink, her true intentions becoming obvious when Kelce pivots into earshot on his barstool.
“So?” She prods, rounding on you once you’ve halted. “What’s the deal?”
“Deal?” You echo, feigning confusion. “What deal?”
“Don’t do that,” she replies, narrowing her eyes accusatorially. “Are you guys seeing each other again?”
You swallow. Your gaze darts to a helpless-looking Kelce. “Why? Has he said something?”
“That’s the thing,” Kelce mutters, shaking his head thoughtfully. “He hasn’t. But he’s… different.”
You frown. “Different how?”
“I don’t know… chiller. Happier. Like he was before Ward passed away.”
“Of course he is,” Brooklyn snorts, not buying it for a second. “He’s finally being absolved of all his guilt!”
“Brooklyn…” you sigh.
“What? It’s true!” She asserts, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s… listen, Y/N, whatever you think this is, you need to snap out of it. He’s proved time and time again that he doesn’t have the emotional capability to deal with his shit, and you’ve been made collateral too many times to forgive him this quick.”
“Quick?” Your chest feels on fire. Isn’t seven months of torture enough exoneration?
“C’mon baby, you’ve gotta cut him some slack,” Kelce assuages, gentle but firm. “He fucked up, sure, but he also lost his dad, remember?”
“Grieving or not, he shouldn’t have pushed her away.”
“Granted, but we’ll never know exactly how he was feeling —”
“We shouldn’t have to, you just don’t do that to someone you love —”
“I’m still here, you know,” you interrupt quietly, frowning. “That someone that Rafe doesn’t love.”
A pause. Its silence that’s distilled in the overhead lighting, the scene beneath it awash in dim regret.
Brooklyn’s features are softer when she breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just… I worry about you.”
You know she does; it isn’t her fault. She’s the one that slept over for four weeks straight post break-up, forced food down your throat and wiped away all your tears.
“Don’t apologise, Brooke, I get it,” you say, sending her a small smile. “But I’m fine, I promise. This isn’t even… this feels different.”
“Different how?”
“Like… you know that saying: ‘You’ll never find the same person twice, not even in the same person’? That’s how this feels. We haven’t fallen back into old habits.”
Brooklyn regards this for a moment, surveying your features carefully. “But you’ve been hanging out?”
“Only once,” you reply honestly. “Sent a few texts back and forth, that’s all. If… if anything were to happen, it’d be like a new relationship, not like restarting the old one. You know?”
“I do.”
Kelce smiles. “That’s… shit, that makes sense.” There’s a wistfulness to his voice. “That’s why I couldn’t figure out what it reminds me of, this different him that’s chilled and happy.”
You furrow your brow. “Hm?”
“It’s freshman year him all over again,” he explains. “You know… when the two of you got close the first time ‘round.”
“Oh.” Your heart soars. “Square one, huh?”
Kelce shrugs, sharing a meaningful look with Brooklyn. “Square one I guess.”
You’re about to respond when Rafe’s figure pulls your gaze, his crossed arms and broad shoulders blocking the kitchen entrance. He’s wearing a handsome expression and his hair is perfectly unkempt, the heady scent of his cologne juxtaposing his lack of proximity.
Sometimes, life is unfair. Your ex-boyfriend, now new friend, eliciting such un-platonic thoughts is one of those instances.
And it isn’t as though you’ve given Rafe much of a break, his blue eyes caught on your figure like a moth to a flame. You aren’t wearing a dress he recognises, which is both a delightful and agonising revelation.
Delightful, because it reveals bare expanses of skin that make his wretched hands itch in longing. Agonising, because it’s a reminder of the seven long months that he’s had to spend grappling with your absence.
Having a smile as pretty as yours is extremely unfair, all things considered. And eyes. Soft skin. He needs to stop staring before he does something stupid.
“Perfect,” he announces brusquely, “are we hosting our intervention now?”
He looks at you expectantly. You raise your eyebrows. “You know,” he adds, “the one where we beg them to stay in the Banks?”
“Hey!” Brooklyn exclaims, her green eyes full of mirth. “What d’you mean stay in the Banks? Newsflash, I’m not even from here.”
“You’re not from Chicago either, Ast-Smithy,” he returns significantly, sending her a meaningful glance. “Besides, you married into a Figure Eight family. You are very officially one of us now.”
“Not for long!” Brooklyn sings, sending you a wink.
“C’mon, Smith,” Rafe tries, turning to Kelce and feigning disappointment. “What happened to our sacred pact?”
“We were eight, Cameron.”
“And already privy to the tragedy of small-town life,” Rafe sighs faux-dramatically, nodding in agreement. “I’m bitter, alright? I thought I’d be the first one to get out of here.”
He glances over at you fleetingly as he says this. We’d be the first ones, his heart corrects in vain.
“As if,” you scoff, raising your eyebrows. “Mr Cameron fucking Development leave this place before me? No chance.”
Rafe grins roguishly, his blue eyes shining with amusement. “You’re all talk, Y/L/N. We both know it.” He sends Kelce and Brooklyn a meaningful glance. “We all are.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re going to be here all fucking night if we keep arguing about this,” Brooklyn decides, patting Kelce’s thigh to prompt him to stand. “C’mon, baby, we should probably get back to mingling.”
“You know,” she adds, narrowing her eyes playfully. “‘Cause it’s the last time we’ll see some of these people.”
You let out a laugh, shaking your head bemusedly. Any retaliation on Rafe’s tongue fails at the timbre of it.
Once they’re out of sight, you turn to him, adopting a faux-somber look. “If we are truly doomed to a life in the Eight, will you promise me something?”
He’s still grappling with the fact that he’s a man starved of your beautiful laugh, now reborn. “Go on.”
“Should you find me yelling at Island Club employees about flower arrangements or charcuterie boards, shoot me.”
Rafe laughs, and it reverberates through your bones warmly. “And suffer alone? No way. I’ll meet you in the middle. Lobotomy?”
“No thoughts in my brain? So generous,” you tease. “Alright. It’s a deal.”
Rafe clinks his beer bottle against yours in confirmation, taking a generous pull of the bubbly liquid. “Can we trade promises?” He asks.
You take a sip in tandem, maintaining eye contact as you do so. There’s tension in the air, that familiar-new feeling manifest, and it’s no longer frightening, but rather a comforting embrace.
You marvel in it. Breaking free feels fruitless. “Yes.”
“If you make a plan to settle elsewhere, will you tell me?”
“Of course I will.” A pause. “Although, I think you’re right. I don’t think any of us are truly capable of leaving permanently.”
“If anyone is though, it’s you,” he says, so matter-of-factly, like he actually believes it. “I mean… you’re the only one who had the balls to go to a college out of state. The rest of us just accepted a cushy offer at UNC.”
“Doesn’t matter,” you dismiss. “I was back here so often I barely left.”
Rafe raises his eyebrows. “Only because you had a reason to come back.” You still do, if you’ll take me.
I still do, if you’ll take me. “True.” You frown, thinking on this for a moment. “Even so… I don’t know. Maybe it’s that hometown curse talking, but I wouldn’t want to raise my kids anywhere else in the States.”
Rafe’s gaze steadies, pulsing through you in waves. “I get that. We had a pretty sweet childhood, all things considered.”
You make a face. “Like, I don’t think I can deal with this iPad kid epidemic. Least we were sheltered from all that crap, you know?”
“Yeah,” Rafe replies, raising his eyebrows significantly. “Even if there were plenty of other things to jade us with.”
“Shit, I know,” you respond, laughing bemusedly. “See, only people from the Eight know how political beach clean ups can get.”
Rafe chuckles in tandem, taking another sip of his beer. “God, our lives are fucking ridiculous.”
You raise your bottle in agreement. A comfortable silence falls between you.
After pause, Rafe speaks up again. “You know,” he says quietly, an unnameable emotion flickering across his blue irises. “I don’t even think it’s everyone in the Eight.”
You balk. “Hm?”
“The whole, knowing each other thing,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “You’ve always understood me better than anyone else.”
Your traitorous heart leaps, and you force yourself to ignore it. Actions have always spoken louder than words, and you decide now’s as good a time as any to confront him about this.
It’s time to be brave, you decide. You say, “I find that hard to believe.”
“Why?”
“Elle.”
Rafe’s miserable heart falters, penitence like a lump in his throat. He’s been preparing for this accusation since your very first reunion, but it still doesn’t feel like enough; he’s a coward trembling at the frontlines, anyway.
“I’ve… we’ve… my therapist and I have talked about that situation at length.”
You eyes widen in surprise. “Your therapist?”
“I’ve been going to therapy, yeah,” Rafe replies, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “For a month or so now, every week without fail.”
It isn’t lost on you that Brooklyn and Kelce’s wedding was a month ago. The rift in your ribcage widens.
“Has it been helping?” You ask.
“A bit,” Rafe admits. “Mostly just to validate what I knew all along, I guess.” At your silence, he continues, “That… shit, that I’ve got this problem where I push people away when I need them the most. The Elle thing, there’s no fucking excuse for it, none, but it became pretty obvious after you confronted me that she was just a rebound.”
“A rebound,” you echo.
“A distraction, an escape… I don’t know.” He rakes his fingers through his hair slovenly. “All I know is, I didn’t care about her, so I didn’t have to push her away. She didn’t make me talk about my dad, my grief, anything, so she was easy enough company to have around when I felt like it.”
“Oh.” You swallow. “But I did.”
“But you did,” Rafe affirms, grimacing sheepishly. “Shit, all you fucking did was care about me and all I did was push you away.”
You try to be pragmatic. “Grief makes people do shitty things.”
“It doesn’t matter. You didn’t deserve it.”
“True.” A pause. Your gaze falls over Rafe’s face in paces, his haggard expression making you soften. “Listen. I’m glad you’re going to therapy, seriously. I know that’s a pretty big step for you to take.”
For you. “Thank you,” he replies quietly. “It… I just wish I’d listened to you the first time, you know? When you’d told me to go to therapy before I’d ended things.”
Your throat feels funny. “No use living in the past.”
“You’re right,” Rafe replies. A pause. The ghost of a smile flickers over his features. “What did I ever do to deserve your forgiveness?”
You smile in tandem, a little rueful. “Maybe you were a martyr in your past life, Cameron.”
“And you’re one in this one,” Rafe responds. “You know, after I lobotomise you over flower arrangements and charcuterie boards. Does that count as a full circle moment?”
You grin. “Not when you live on the Eight. Infinity sign, baby.”
It slips out before you can stop yourself, the ghost of pet-names past pushing Rafe’s pulse to fibrillation. Your eyes widen abashedly. “Should we rejoin the party?”
Rafe nods, “Probably,” and then, when you’re just out of earshot, “I’d do something stupid if we didn’t.”
Over the next few weeks, you begin to see more and more of one another.
A few texts back and forth become more than a few virtual trysts, and every spare moment you have is dedicated to being in each other’s presence.
And it isn’t as though you’re mending old love, this feels like something else altogether. Though old memories may flit through your brain on occasion, they are boundless and free — they don’t define this connection.
You’re starting anew. Rafe realises it too.
He still remembers how it felt to tell you he loved you the first time around, fourteen years old with a bashful smile and enough hope in his heart to ache. He still remembers what you were wearing the first time he drove you around; the first time you came to UNC to visit; the shade of lipgloss you worshipped from Sephora. And you remember it all too, the feeling of being in his pick-up, of being with this roguish, freshman boy that had so much charm your insides soared.
Going through it all again feels like receiving a new lease on life. How lucky are you to love a different person in the same man?
Currently, the pair of you are sprawled out on beach towels, velvet dusk revealing the bespangled sky stretching above you. Beside you, take-out boxes and sodas lie in the sand, discarded. Every now and then, his wrist brushes yours with a jolt of static.
You’re lying closer to each other than you should, his body heat pressing over you in paces. He’s pretty sure his clothes are going to smell like your soft-toned, vanilla perfume later, and he quietly delights in this.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says finally, breaking the silence.
You smile. “Shocker.”
He nudges your shoulder with his in faux-admonishment, turning his head toward you. It lingers; he’s closer. Your pulse feels boundless. “I’ve been thinking,” he repeats. “And I’ve realised something.”
You turn your head in tandem, his proximity making you balk. “What’s that, Cameron?”
“If we hadn’t broken up in the first place, I’d probably never have gone to therapy.”
A hush falls. “True.”
“And I’d never have worked through my emotional unavailability and all the problematic shit that comes with it.” He pauses, a heavy emotion making his blue eyes somber. “We’d have stayed together, but I’d never have become the man that you deserve.”
You swallow. “Is that what you are now?” You murmur, your voice unsure. “The man I deserve?”
“I don’t think so,” he answers quietly. “Don’t think I ever will be. But… but I’m working on it, properly this time. And getting to know you again, for real, has made me realise just how worth it this is.”
It’s too much. You make to turn away but Rafe’s hand stops you, gentle but firm on your face. His thumb swipes over your warm cheek in comforting circles, and you find yourself leaning into his touch inadvertently.
Uh oh, you’re falling in love. You sigh. “It feels inevitable, huh?”
“D’you believe in soulmates, Y/N?”
Your lashes flutter shut in response. Rafe inches closer still, his hand slipping down to your jaw, and when he kisses you, old embers create a new flame within your heart. It’s chaste, unsure, a second first kiss. And yet, though it’s soft, the press of his lips is a ravaging embrace.
“Do you, Rafe?” You return, opening your eyes tentatively.
His gaze is still trained on your pretty mouth, less iris than pupil as his yearning transcends everything else. He presses his thumb on your lower lip gently. “Only if it’s you.”
“I think I am,” you murmur.
Rafe smiles. Oh no, he’s falling in love again. “I think you are too.”
I thought the plane was going down / How’d you turn it right around?
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Text
Give in to the Midnight Grind
Milo could hear the thumbing bass from inside his patrol car, as he parked in front of the seedy club. It was hardly the first time the neighbors complained about the excessive noise, but it was the first time for Milo to be sent here, and also his first time going alone.
Usually, young officers like Milo - or Miles Dawson, as it read on his uniform - didn't go anywhere alone, but as it happened, his designated partner for the evening had called in sick. Milo had volunteered to go by himself, since he wanted to prove that he could be trusted to go solo. And, asking a club to turn down the music was hardly a dangerous task.
He checked his uniform again in the patrol car's rear mirror and adjusted his collar one final time. It was important to look professional, after all.
Once he was satisfied with the result, Milo exited the car and locked it before approaching the club entrance.
"The Midnight Grind" was hardly one of the most prestigious clubs in town, and the rundown facade certainly didn't do it any favors. However, that didn't seem to stop the long line of people wanting to enter. The long line of men, Milo corrected himself. Either the nightclub was very bad at attracting female customers or it was a gay club. Considering the provocative name and the leather-clad bouncer, Milo strongly suspected the latter.
Of course, gay nightclubs weren't illegal, and Milo didn't plan on causing any trouble. It was a bit uncomfortable for him, since he was straight, but then again, Milo wasn't here to party, he was only here to tell them to keep the volume down.
When he approached the bouncer, he put on his most winning smile and nodded to the burly bald man with the many tattoos.
"Good evening, Sir. I would like to speak to the management of this establishment."
The bouncer shot him a scrutinizing look and then looked back to his patrol car. Milo had expected his uniform to be enough proof for his official capacity, but perhaps, it wasn't entirely unusual for patrons to show up in a similar outfit.
"Badge." The bouncer grumbled in a voice so deep that it sounded like rocks grinding against each other.
"Oh, of course. One second."
Milo was a bit embarrassed that he hadn't thought of showing his ID earlier and brought out his official badge, still shiny and new. He showed it to the bouncer, who studied it carefully, before nodding and stepping aside, mumbling something into his radio.
"They will send someone to the entrance. Wait here."
"Thank you, sir."
Milo felt uneasy due to the looks of the men waiting in line, but none of them seemed to be particularly hostile, so Milo just smiled politely. A few of the men even seemed to check him out and one or two even winked, which Milo chose to ignore.
Finally, after several awkward minutes, another guy came out. This one was a bit younger, but also dressed in a skintight leather harness, a pair of tight jeans and combat boots. Milo's eyes wandered across his exposed skin, the tattooed chest and the piercings, but the guy didn't seem to notice and smiled widely.
"Officer? My name is Adam. The boss will see you now. Follow me."
Milo felt relief wash over him and was grateful that he could finally escape the hungry looks of the people in the queue, as he followed the young man.
Inside, the music was even louder, and Milo found himself surrounded by half-naked bodies, dancing, drinking and occasionally even making out. It was a bit of an uncomfortable sight for him, but at least the music drowned out any moaning or panting. Still, Milo considered it the best idea to just look straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact.
Adam led him to a set of stairs that went up and to a small balcony overlooking the dance floor. There, a muscular man with a neatly trimmed beard, a full sleeve tattoo and a tight black shirt was sitting on a comfortable looking sofa, smoking a cigar. His legs were spread wide, and he was clearly wearing a pair of skin-tight leather pants that did a very bad job of hiding his bulge. Well, they probably weren't designed to *hide* anything.
Adam said something, but Milo couldn't understand what was being said, so Adam repeated himself.
"The boss will see you now, Officer."
The "boss" regarded Milo from head to toe, which didn't help him feel more comfortable. To escape the situation, Milo began to speak, loud enough to be heard over the blaring and thumbing music.
"Good evening, Sir. I am Milo - I mean, Miles Dawson, Officer, actually, from the city police force and..."
Damn, he needed more routine for that, Milo thought as he stumbled over his words, but the muscular man cut him off.
"It's okay, Officer Milo. Sit down."
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Milo didn't feel too comfortable being addressed by his nickname, especially not by this man, but at least he called him 'officer'. Milo gladly sat down opposite of the other man, who took another drag of his cigar.
"Thank you. What is your name, Sir?"
"You can call me 'boss'. Everyone does."
That of course wasn't according to protocol, but again, Milo didn't want to cause any trouble. In his opinion, the police were there to be as kind and helpful as possible, servants of the public more than anything else.
"Alright, Mr. ...Boss. I am here on behalf of the city police because..."
"Would you like something to drink?"
The boss asked and blew a cloud of smoke right into Milo's face, who tried to avoid breathing in the thick smoke and coughing.
"Uhm, no, thank you. I'm on duty."
"A little bit of alcohol won't hurt you, officer. But have it your way. A virgin cocktail, then?"
Again, Milo didn't want to be rude and simply nodded, smiling. If there was no alcohol involved, it wasn't against the rules.
The boss snapped his fingers, and a half-naked waiter came with a large and colorful drink, putting it down in front of Milo. The straw was formed like an erect penis. Of course. But under no circumstances, Milo wanted to come off as homophobic, so he took a small sip from the obscene straw before clearing his voice.
"Anyway, as I said, the city police were contacted by the neighbors because the music here is very loud. Now, I'm not trying to cause any trouble. We all know how it is when you have a party and have some fun, but I have to ask you to tone it just a bit."
Surprisingly enough, the boss nodded.
"I understand, Officer. Of course, we don't want to cause trouble either. I guess we got carried away a bit, some music is best enjoyed loudly. But whom am I telling that? I see you found a liking to the music as well."
Milo followed his gaze to his own leg and was surprised to see it bobbing to the rhythm. When did that happen? He didn't remember deciding to do that.
"Ah, yes, it's very catchy."
Embarrassed by his lack of control, he took another big sip from the sweet drink.
"Isn't it? But as it happens, we might have to close early today, anyway."
"Why is that?", Milo asked, before he could stop himself.
The boss shrugged his shoulder. "We're short staffed. The flu. Our stripper for today called in sick."
Milo's gaze wandered over the dancing crowd and stopped at the exclusively male dancers in the cages slightly above the dance floor, moving their sweaty bodies to the beat of the music while wearing only skimpy glittering underwear.
"Do you like what you see?" asked the boss, as he took another drag from his cigar.
"What? Oh, no, haha. I mean, sure, you have a great establam... a great club."
Damn, Milo's thoughts felt like they were moving through cotton candy, probably because of the bad air in here. A bit of ventila... a few fans wouldn't hurt, especially since the boss was still smoking his cigar.
"I see, I'm just asking because of your massive boner." The boss said casually.
Milo looked down, and indeed, a prominent tent was visible in his trousers, stretching the fabric uncomfortably.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I... I have no idea how that happened."
"Relax Milo. I'm not judging. If you like the show, feel free to watch some more."
The voice of the boss sounded reassuring, and Milo took another sip, as his eyes returned to the dancers. They did look pretty hot, he had to admit, and for a moment or two, Milo let his mind wander. What would it be like to dance on a pole like that? To show his body, to flaunt his muscles and to show off his cock and his ass, to grind on a pole like he was riding a dick...
Wait, what was he thinking? He wasn't like that at all! He wasn't a dancer, and he wasn't gay. He wiped the sweat from his brow.
"Are you alright, Milo?" asked the boss, still with a smirk on his face and the cigar in his mouth.
"If you feel uncomfortable, you can take off that jacket of yours, if you like."
Something about this felt wrong, but the boss was right. It was awfully hot. So, he took off his jacket, which helped a bit. Still, his mouth felt dry, so he drank some more cocktail.
"You should also loosen that tie. Don't want you to feel constrained."
Again, Milo did as the boss suggested, feeling more comfortable with every step of the process. The tie had really been a bit too tight. He was just about to unbutton his shirt, when the boss interrupted.
"Wait a moment, man. Finish your drink and follow me."
"Where to?", Milo asked, but the boss was already getting up and walking towards the other end of the balcony, to a door.
"Just relax. You are going to like it."
The boss was right, Milo was thinking too much. And thinking was hard, even harder than his cock was right now. Milo finished his cocktail and got up. The bulge was very prominent in his pants, bigger than Milo ever remembered seeing. For a moment, he looked for a way to hide it, but since nothing came to his foggy mind and the boss was already waiting for him, Milo decided not to care. After all, most of the guys in this club were probably hard, down on the dance floor.
The door led to a small stairway, going down and a narrow corridor after that. Milo had to duck when passing the doorframe, which confused him even more, but he couldn't really tell why. The music was even louder here, and the boss stopped in front of a glittering curtain.
"There, you can take your shirt off out there." He said and gave Milo a thumbs up.
Out there? Confused, Milo stumbled through the curtain into a sea of bright light. For a moment, the music stopped, and Milo was able to hear the voice of the boss coming from all the speakers.
"Give a warm welcome to tonight's star! Here is Macho Dawgson for you, "The Meat" himself. And there's a reason he is called that way..."
After that, a new, driving beat set in and the confusion in Macho's head cleared somewhat. What was he doing again...? Right, he wanted to get out of his shirt.
The uniform shirt was awfully tight, as Macho unbuttoned one button after the other. His body was still moving to the beat, beyond his control, but he didn't mind.
Finally, the shirt came off, and Macho twirled it around his finger for a while before throwing it into the bright light, where cheering sounds reacted to it.
For a split second, Macho looked down on himself. Was that really him? He was way fitter than he used to be, like he visited the gym regularly.
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But why did that surprise him, really? He basically lived in the gym, all paid for by the boss. Again, the confusion cleared up some more and Macho started moving to the beat again, thrusting his hips and flaunting his muscles.
The crowd cheered. Of course they did. Macho could hardly keep himself from snorting. He was their fucking god, their idol, the perfect specimen of a man, and they knew it. All those fat, or skinny or otherwise pathetic dudes down there worshipped him, and they better should.
The music got faster and louder, and the dancing crowd was cheering and whistling. Macho felt their hungry eyes on his body, his abs, his pecs, his arms, his crotch. Yeah, there was a reason why they called him "The meat", and that reason was bulging out his uniform pants proudly. But before he got to the main course, he wanted to tease those losers some more.
Macho turned around and let his impressive back muscles work. Of course, he knew that his ass also was a sight to behold, but it was just for teasing. Macho was, of course, a top through and through. After the show, he would be surrounded by willing cocksuckers, who offered every hole in their bodies, begging to be bred, and Macho would make sure three or four of them got their reward tonight.
He ripped open the zipper and wiggled his ass until the pants were hanging low on his hips, and the tight underwear underneath revealed his ass crack. Yeah, Macho knew what he was doing. That's what he lived for: Gym, sex and dancing. He was a god, and he fucking knew it.
Time for the finale. Macho swirled around again and, with a strong motion, ripped off the fake police pants, revealing his stuffed-to-the-brim underwear that shadowed every other man's equipment. Other strippers often wore prosthetics to look bigger, but Macho didn't need that. The bulge in his shorts highlighted his dick and balls in a way that promised only one thing: Size.
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The crowd went wild, and the music reached a climax. With a final roar, Macho pulled on his underwear now, ripping it apart and letting his giant meat spring free, enjoying the admiration and jealousy that branded against the stage.
Fuck yeah. Macho loved his job.
If you enjoyed the story and want to support my writing, check out my tip jar! There are also a few more versions of Miles/Macho!
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missmontez · 2 years
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tag dump.
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damnation-if · 2 years
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cyberpunk organised crime ring espionage with sexy demons
lmao... something tells me they wouldn't quite fit together.
#what does the chaos mirror see#anon#time flows differently in the queue#forgive me for rambling in the tags here but. the rot Consumes me#when i say cyberpunk i guess it's technically scifi since it takes place on another planet#but in addition to loving d&d and vampire the masquerade i'm also a big fan of shadowrun#the premise is that mc is a corporate espionage agent who has to seduce their way into a gang of criminals annoying your corpo masters#the planet has a wild orbit that takes it far away from the sun and through an asteroid belt for roughly the half the year#it's a miserable time; there's no sunlight and transports can't land because of the asteroids so the planet is basically on its own#so all the rich people leave during that period and it basically becomes anarchy and chaos as everything turns to lawlessness when they go#until they clear the asteroid belt and the corps send in their private armies to re-establish order via gunfire#both the corps and the gangs know that you can make a hell of a lot of money during this period by doing standard shadowrun crime stuff#but one gang has really been cheesing your corp's onions and they don't know How so they send you to seduce your way in and find out#you pick one of the ROs as a likely mark in the prologue and then it skips forward almost a year to just before the planet goes dark again#so it's like. you still haven't figured it out but also you've been fake-dating this person for nearly a year#i just wanted to write something with. that kind of more complicated relationship dynamic of a longer-term relationship already in place#anyway naturally you get to decide in the end if you destroy the gang or betray your corporate masters lmfao#shadowrun *jazzhands*#i know i said i was keeping myself from pitching RO ideas but. one of them i already decided on is a butch lesbian with a shotgun#she's their driver and is covered in tattoos lmao#also there's a guy who's a spy from a Different corp#anyway yes. Sorry about this
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tallulah477 · 8 months
Text
Too Much
Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Human!Reader
Warnings: AgedUp!Neteyam, Oral (female receiving), Kuru/Queue Play, Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Cumming Untouched
Word Count: 2K
A/N: I wrote this entire thing today and I'm a little delirious right now so if you see mistakes - no you don't
Summary: Neteyam licks your pussy while you lick his kuru
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Translations:
Kuru/Neural Queue - Used to bond with animals and other Na'vi
Yawne - Beloved
Tewng - Loincloth
Neteyam’s golden eyes are dazed and hooded as he gazes up at you from his spot between your thighs. His pupils are blown wide, so large they practically swallow up the entire iris, leaving just a thin ring of yellow around the edges. If you look hard enough, you can see your own reflection mirrored in them - mouth open and gasping for air, hands tangled in your hair just to have something to hold onto as Neteyam devours your puffy pussy like his most favorite meal. 
His face is wet as he presses harder against you, mouth and chin glistening in the sunlight from where your wetness coats them. His flat nose bumps your clit as his tongue presses deeper inside of you, your soaked hole clenching around his invading tongue. He moans at the feel of you tightening around him, hot breath fanning over your pussy as he licks you deeper.
He looks drunk already, drunk on you and the taste of your juices on his taste buds. His ears flick at each and every moan and shaky sigh that escapes your lips, intent on catching them all as he eats you out, eager to earn more of your pretty noises. He’s made you cum on his tongue once already, back arching and crying loudly, your shouts of pleasure echoing through the little meadow he has you spread out in as he growled into your cunt. 
When you came down from your high, he didn’t stop. His dark honey eyes narrowed at you, as if daring you to try to move away from him as his hands readjusted their grip on your thighs. Your legs shook in his grip as he redoubled his efforts, spitting and sucking on your sensitive pussy like you had somehow deprived him of it for years instead of him going on a three day long hunting trip away from you. 
Your squeals of overstimulation quickly turned back into wanton moans of pleasure as he worked you back up towards that point of bliss. 
His tongue pulls from inside you, licking greedily up your puffy slit before wrapping his lips around your swollen clit. Your back arches against the moss underneath you as he sucks on the aching bud, a high pitched whine tearing from your throat as one of your hands untangles from your hair and clutches at the back of his head. 
Your legs spasm in his hold, thighs clenching around his head as your second orgasm shatters through you. You cry as your pussy clenches around nothing, the need to be filled up by Neteyam’s thick cock overwhelming as tears of pleasure drip from your eyes and cling to your lashes. You want him to fuck you so badly, want to feel him inside you, pounding your cunt and bruising your cervix with his powerful thrusts until your too dumb and cockdrunk to even remember your own name. 
But he won’t. He’s so mean, leaving you for days, all alone without your mate to fill you up like you deserve. And then he comes home, gorgeous and loving and desperate for you, and he still won’t give it to you. 
And he’s not done with you either. 
He works you through the end of your orgasm - plush, sinful lips letting go of your still pulsing clit in favor of pressing gentle kisses to the inside of your thigh. He allows you a moment of respite this time, letting you try to regain your breath, sucking in as much air into your lungs as you can from what the oxygen tubes in your nose provide. But he’s still holding your thighs open, fingers gripping into the delicate flesh as his kisses along your skin get more heated. 
“You can give me another one, won’t you?” He mumbles, voice raspy and deep with a need he still hasn’t quenched. Your hole clenches again from the sound of it despite itself. 
“Teyam,” You whimper, your hand on his head trying in vain to keep his wandering kisses away from your oversensitive core. “T-too much. Can’t,”
“Yes, you can,” He says, pressing a feather light kiss to your clit. “Just one more. I swear.”
He dives back in again, soaked face suffocating itself as he presses tightly against your center. His tongue laves over your sticky cunt, pressing flat as he licks up your abused slit. Your eyes squeeze shut as his rough tongue swipes against your raw clit, shocks of a glorious combination of pleasure and pain shooting up your spine and frying your brain as you cry out underneath him. 
Your hand claws at the back of his head, torn between wanting to shove his head away and keeping it pressed against your core as he drowns himself in your juices. Your hand pushes through his hair, the smaller braids moving and caressing against your smaller fingers as they subconsciously find the thick braid at the back of his skull. Your fingers wrap around the braid as best as they can, gripping onto the base of his kuru, using your hold on the most intimate part of him as leverage as your body decides to keep him where he is. 
Neteyam groans against your clit when you accidentally squeeze tighter, hand closing around the neural queue with a vice-like grip. It’s so much louder than normal, the guttural groan echoing through the meadow. Your head snaps up, hand immediately loosening its hold on the braid, worried that you’ve hurt him. 
“Shit, Tayem. Are you–”
But he whines at the loss of contact, one of his hands untangling itself from its grip on your thigh to grab yours and replace it back at the base of his kuru. 
Your fingers wrap around it again, giving another experimental squeeze and watching as Neteyam grunts, eyes fluttering shut at the pressure, and wrapping his lips around your clit again, sucking harshly in retaliation. The suction on your aching clit makes you squeeze tighter, twin whines of pain mixed with pleasure echoing from both of your mouths at the rough treatment on your sensitive parts. 
Your legs tremble, hips bucking into Neteyam’s mouth as he uses his iron grip on your thighs to keep your hips pressed against the moss covered ground. To distract yourself from Neteyam’s torture on your cunt, your fingers trail down the length of his kuru, gentle fingers stroking the glossy hair braided around the queue as you pull it over his shoulder. 
Neteyam purrs and the vibrations on your cunt only serve to make you wetter. You can feel yourself dripping down your asscheeks - strings of your own wetness, cum, and Neteyam’s spit curving over your bottom and dripping onto the forest floor beneath you. Movement from Neteyam’s lower half catches your attention as his hips hump slowly against the ground. His golden eyes glare up at you, flicking between your own and the image of his most sacred body part held vulnerable in your hand. His mouth is full, and he doesn’t seem to be willing to part with your drenched core for even a second to say what he’s thinking, but he doesn’t have to - his eyes say it all, daring you to do what you’ve always wanted. 
Play with me, yawne. Do it. 
Your breathing is shaky as you slide your hand down to the tip, fingers curling around the thinner end of his kuru before twisting your wrist and encouraging the tips of his hair to fall apart, exposing the glowing pink tendrils that are housed inside. Neteyam’s tongue swipes frantically up and down along your slit, a testament to how restless he is as he watches you examine the exposed bits of his nervous system. 
The tendrils writhe under your gaze, just as restless and excited as their owner as they wriggle around helplessly in your grip. They seem like they’re reaching for you, twisting and leaning towards you as far as they can stretch. You’ve always wanted to touch them, wanted to feel what they would feel like on your fingers. They would wrap around you so tight, but at the same time so delicate, just like they twine around each other when Neteyam bonds with the Spirit Tree.
Your free hand reaches up, fingers just a breath away from finally touching those pink tendrils. They reach back for you, stretching towards your outstretched fingers, desperate for something to bond with. Neteyam stops his assault on your cunt, heavy breath fanning over you as he stares up at you in awe, waiting with bated breath for the moment your tiny fingers make contact with them. 
But the look on his face has you feral, and the thought that he’s tormented you with this tongue all afternoon has you dropping your hand away from the pink, wiggly tendrils and replacing them with your tongue instead. Neteyam cries out at the first touch of your tongue, eyes rolling back into his head as his upper body shoots up, one of his hands slamming against the ground as full bodied shivers wrack his body. The tendrils feel electric on your tongue, writhing and frantic as you slowly drag your tongue over them. They try to grip onto the wet muscle, but they can’t find purchase as it glides against them. They slide off your tongue when you reach the tips, squirming in the air before you bring them to your tongue again, loving the way they try to attach to you but can do nothing but twitch and wiggle under your devious torment. 
Neteyam collapses back into the cradle of your thighs, momentarily forgetting about your cunt as his head rolls to the side, eyes squeezing shut as he digs his face into the inside of your thigh, whimpering like he’s being tortured. Good, you think, grinning as you continue to tongue at the sensitive nerves. Payback’s a bitch. 
But as soon as the thought materializes, his mouth is back on you again, hot and insistent on your clit as he glares up at you again like he can hear what you’re thinking. He shakes his face against your pussy, animalistic growls vibrating into your cunt as his fingers dig into the fat of your hips. You squeal, moaning loudly against the tendrils sitting on your tongue and Neteyam lets out a low whine, hips once again humping into the ground underneath him, faster and more desperate as he grinds his aching cock against the moss. You’ve never seen his eyes so hazy before. Somehow he’s with you - here, in this moment - and also someplace far away at the exact same time. He licks your clit with a renewed vigor, pleasure shooting through your body with each perfect swipe of his tongue, and you make sure to reward each and every one of his licks with a lick of your own against his tendrils. 
Another orgasm rushes towards you, relentless and damning as the coil in your belly tightens past the point of no return. It threatens to tear you apart when it hits, washing over you in a mixture of overstimulation and pure bliss, and you cum on Neteyam’s tongue for the third time today - shaking and moaning with the tendrils still wrapping eagerly around your tongue. 
When you come back to yourself, Neteyam is climbing over you, still panting as he holds himself up with one arm. He gently grabs the top of his kuru with one hand, fingers curling around your smaller ones where the braid stops before the visible nerves peek out. With a deep shaky breath, he pulls his kuru back, slowly dragging the glowing tendrils from their found happy place along your tongue. They separate, held only together by a thin strand of saliva before that breaks away too, and you can feel yourself mourn the loss already. 
“You’re a bad girl, yawne,” He says, cupping your cheek tenderly. “Abusing something so sacred like that.”
“And you’re a bad boy,” You reply, smirking as your eyes fall to the large wet patch now visible in his loincloth. “Good boys don’t cum in their tewngs untouched like that.”
Neteyam hums, leaning down to nip playfully at your chin. “You definitely touched me, that’s for sure,”
You giggle, a teasing hand gently caressing the painstakingly braided cord still handing over his shoulder. “Can I touch it again?”
Neteyam’s smile is blinding as he leans down to kiss you.
Taglist: @eywaite @loaksulluyswife @erenjaegerwifee @f-cklife @beautiful-brown-skin-05 @anastasia1777-blog @localjasmine @tsewtx @skywonder @neteyamswillow @luvv4j4ybe11
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What You Like
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Marc Spector x F!Reader x Steven Grant • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • MK Bingo 2024 Masterlist • ko-fi •
Summary: Marc gets in his head about being with you, Steven talks him through it.
🌛For @moonknight-events MK Bingo Spring 2024 Event🌜
A/N: There was a post about Marc talking Steven through his first time with reader, which I adored and couldn't stop thinking about. And then my brain went... but what if... the other way around? (I'm so sure I reblogged the post, or maybe it's in my queue, but I cannot for the life of me find it. Please if you know the one I'm talking about, let me know! I really would like to link it here. Also I'm so sorry I forgot who wrote it as well.)
Warnings: oral, fingering, so much swearing, some self loathing from Marc, I have used 'mate' far too much, as well as 'yeah?', kind of Marc being sort of into Steven talking to him, typos, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!
Word Count: 2213
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“She doesn’t like it so much like that, if you tilt your head to the side a little and-”
Marc snaps his eyes open and glares at Steven in the far-off mirror. “Fuck off.” He thinks hard, and Steven doesn’t have to hear him to read his expression.
“I’m just trying to help, mate.” He holds up his hands like all he had done is hold the door open for him or something. 
Marc glares harder, about to flip him off when you pull back from the kiss. 
“You okay?” 
Marc swallows, “Sorry, I, erm…” He hadn’t realised you’d noticed his distraction.
You smile at him and stroke his cheek. "You know, we don’t have to do anything,” you shift a little on the bed, giving him a fraction more space.
“No, no, that wasn’t…” he gives you a small smile in return and leans forward again to kiss you. “Steven, I need you to be quiet now, okay?” 
“I was just-”
“Steven.”
He tuts. “Okay, okay, I promise.” 
Marc inches a little closer, recovering the space you’d previously offered up. His thigh nudges against yours and you let out a little moan into his mouth as he swipes his tongue over your bottom lip. 
He didn’t know why he felt so nervous, anxiety like eels swimming in his belly, you were Steven’s girlfriend (and technically, his now? Or was that too forward?) you’d been in this bed, with this body before. And strictly speaking, Marc had looked in on you and Steven a few times in more… intimate moments. Accidentally, of course. 
This should be fine. Practically second nature. 
He tries to clear his head, to be more in the moment, and runs his hands down your back as he presses closer, leaning into you slightly to urge you to lay back onto the mattress. 
You move with him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him against you. Parting your legs slightly so that he can situate himself between them. 
He nips lightly at your lip, licking softly but confidently into your mouth as he just grinds his hardening cock against your core. Oh, and your barely muffled moan is delicious, the way you dig your fingers into his shoulders makes his head spin, if-
“Oh, that’s a good move. She definitely likes that.” 
“Steven! For fuck’s sake! I trusted you to be quiet!” 
“Sorry!”
Marc tries not to let the interruption show, but he jumps a little when Steven speaks and it’s impossible for you to have missed it. A small thorn of anxiety settles in his chest, piercing between his ribs. 
“Kiss her neck, she really likes that.” 
“Steven-”
“I’m just giving helpful tips!” He can feel more than see Steven shrug his shoulders. “You’re the one without any game.”
“Without any game? I’ve got more game than you.” 
Steven sorts. “Unlikely. When’s the last time you got laid? God only knows. I, however, had sex this morning.” 
“Steven.” 
“Just saying.” 
“Yeah, well, I'm gonna be having sex in a minute, so shut up.”
There was a moment of blissful silence and Marc let out a breath of relief. 
You hooked your legs over his hips, urging him closer and bucking up so that you could grind against him. The heavy drag of his jeans sending sparks of pleasure along your spine. 
He slips his left hand down, sneaking the tips of his warm fingers under your top and stroking at the soft skin of your side. 
“She’s ticklish there.” 
“Steven-”
You can’t help but giggle a little, squirming away from his touch and breaking the kiss. “Sorry,” you bite your lip, “I’m sorry, it’s just-”
“You’re ticklish.” Marc finishes and you nod smiling. 
“Sorry.” You mouth again. 
Marc shakes his head and smiles as he leans back down. “It’s fine, don’t worry.” He moves his hand away from your side. 
He’s barely pressed his lips against you for a second before Steven speaks again. “Told you.”
Marc inwardly grunts, rolling his eyes as he kisses along your jaw to your neck. He nips lightly at your skin, before sucking gently.
“Bit lower mate, that’s the spot.”
Marc scowled but followed the instruction, hatching onto the spot Steven suggested and you moan loudly, arching your back off the mattress. 
“See, she really likes that. Now if you just move your hand down and-”
Marc clenches his jaw instinctively, letting his frustration bubble over. Unfortunately, your neck is still between his teeth when they snap shut. 
You let out a little gasp of pain and Marc nearly blacks out from panic, instinctively moving to jerk backwards and away from you. But your arms tighten on his shoulders, your thighs clenching around his hips. 
You whimper and buck against him instantly. “Marc, fuck, please do that again.” 
He relaxes, tension easing out of his limbs as he growls faintly and does as you ask. 
“It’s okay mate, really. She’s not made of glass.” 
“Steven. I’m fucking gonna-”
“Hey,” Steven protested, “look, I don’t mind when you’re watching us go at it all the time, yeah?” 
Marc flushed. “I do not.”
“Yes, you do. And don’t think you’re being sneaky about it either. I can tell.” 
“I don’t mean to, it’s just…”
“Just what mate?” 
“It just… happens.” 
“Yeah, right.” 
Marc stays quiet, knowing that whatever he says won’t make him look good. He tries to ignore Steven, to just focus on you. To grind against you just right. But he could feel Steven hovering just in the background. 
You run your hands through Marc’s hair, pulling highly as you writhe under him and he can’t help but risk a sneaky look up at you, at how your eyebrows are pinched together, eyes closed in pleasure and…
Was it real? Or was it just for show? Did you always look like that when Steven…? He thinks back trying to recall the memories of watching in as much detail as possible. 
“Marc.” Steven’s voice is soft. 
But he doesn’t answer.
“Stop getting in your head about it, yeah? She’s here with you. She likes you. She wouldn’t pretend to be into something she doesn’t, ‘kay?” 
Marc swallows, trying to take Steven’s words on board and calm his quickly spiralling thoughts. 
But it doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right, it’s all stiff and unsettled. Like his joints are just a fraction out of place. 
You can tell. He’s so sure that you can tell. Even if you are moaning and writhing against him, you must know. Must sense it. How out of alignment he is. How much of a failure. 
“Steven?"
There’s a fraction of a pause before he answers. “Hmm?” 
“What does she like?”
He can feel Steven’s frown. 
“What does she like? What should I do? You were full of tips a second ago, don’t lea-”
“Move your hand down,” his voice is a little softer than before. Compassionate. And Marc knows his emotions have bled through. “Slower.” 
Marc slowly runs his hand down your body, careful not to tickle your side, stopping just short of the top button of your trousers. 
“Kiss lower on her neck, just above her collarbone... that’s it.”
Marc feels a little warm at the praise, giddy even. 
“And just start to undo her trousers, yeah?”
He flicks the top button open and you whine, bucking up against him. You urge his face up with your hands so you can kiss his lips and slide your tongue into his mouth. A deep shiver runs along Marc’s spine, forcing his hips to buck mindlessly. 
You pull back for a second, just to lift your top up and over your head before dropping it to the side and his breath catches in his throat. 
“Trousers.” 
Marc all but jumps despite the soft tone of Steven’s voice and he quickly snaps his eyes away from your skin to focus on undoing your pants.
You grin at his eagerness and help him by wiggling out of your trousers and kicking them off your feet. You kiss Marc’s neck, your hands moving desperately to his jeans. 
“Touch her.”
Marc lets out a little moan as you suck on his pulse point. “Wha-”
Marc’s left hand moves under Steven’s control, slipping his fingers under the elastic of your panties and pressing two thick fingers inside of your heat. 
You gasp in surprise, your thighs twitching at the sudden intrusion, shifting wider to allow him easier access. 
Steven strokes two fingers languidly against your walls for a second, enjoying the little tremors and flutters before placing his thumb on your clit. “Can you feel that?” 
Marc nods inwardly, “fuck.”
“See how wet she is?” 
“So fucking wet.” 
Steven smiles, continuing the long, slow strokes for a second before retreating back and leaving their hand once more completely under Marc’s control. He falters for half a second before he quickly resumes the tortuous pace set up by Steven. 
You gasp and whine, flinging your head back against the pillow as you arch up your hips towards him, trying to buck and urge him to move faster. 
“Go nice and slow… yeah… like that…” Steven whispers in his ear and there’s something strangely comforting about it, something exciting at having him there, right with him. 
Marc bites his bottom lips between his teeth, watching your face with rapt attention. 
“Nice slow circles and nice slow strokes.” 
“Slow circles.” He mutters under his breath, almost inaudible. He glides his fingers back and forth, barely leaving you before pushing back in, revelling in the sound of your wetness. 
You buck and whine, grabbing hold of his forearm like you were hanging onto a lifesaver. “Marc- ah, please!” Your words are cut off by desperate half choked sobs. 
He continues to circle your clit gently, barely allowing any pressure so that you can only just feel the slightly calloused glide of his thumb. Your thighs started to shake, your movements becoming sloppy. 
“Take her panties off completely, yeah? She’s gonna cum in a second, you’re gonna want to see.” 
Marc obeyed without thinking, using his free hand to pull them down and groaning softly when you lifted your hips as best you could to help him. 
Fuck you looked so pretty laid out all before him- before them. 
You moaned particularly needily, already looking fucked out of your head and Marc hissed, unable to stop himself as he hurriedly leant down and flicked his tongue along your clit. 
Your little high-pitched cry made him go light-headed. 
“Fuck, god yeah, give it to her.” Steven’s arousal bled into his own, making him dizzyingly high. “God, make her cum, make her cum in our mouth Marc, please.” 
“Marc, oh god, please!” You whine at almost the same moment, your and Steven’s voice blending together in a harmony that made Marc’s dick throb. 
He sucked your clit into his mouth for a moment before running board, flat licks over it, continuing his fingers slow pump as he brought you maddeningly close to the edge. 
Steven moaned loudly, “fuck Marc, please, please, need to taste her cum. Then we can fuck her together, yeah? She feels so good, she makes the best little noises,” he groaned again, “she tastes so sweet doesn’t she?” 
“So sweet,” Marc mumbled against your pussy as he kept moving, kept sucking and licking and practically humping the mattress with his eyes pinched tight in pleasure. 
“Marc,” you whimper and pull on his hair with your free hand, urging him on, “you’re so good at this, so good, ‘m gonna cum-”
“Fuck, Marc, yes.” 
He couldn’t help himself, simply couldn’t. Found himself opening his mouth and letting the words spill out before he had even registered them. “Steven’s here too.” 
“Oh shit!” You gasp, your voice raising in pitch as your orgasm crashes into you, seizing your limbs in pleasure and whiting out your vision, before leaving you boneless and breathless. 
Marc stops moving slowly, trying to prolong your bliss for as long as possible. He bites his lip nervously as he sits up, your release and his spit covering the lower half of his face. Fuck, why had he said that, why had he gone and fucked this all up-
You smile up at him, still trailing your fingers through his thick curls. “Steven’s here too?” 
He nods as heat rises to his face. He stares down at your knee. 
“Look at her, mate.” 
He doesn’t move until you gently tilt his chin up with your hand. 
Your soft smile makes his heart ache. 
“I’m sorry…” he whispers. “Is that… okay? That he’s here?” 
You nod, your grin widening as you sit up and kiss him. It’s messy and deep, and Marc just melts into it. He whines against your lips as you wrap your arms around him, stroking your tongue with his own as you lick into his mouth. 
“Now, how about,” you say between kisses, your fingers tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt. “I get you out of these clothes and suck both of your dick.” You pause and pull a silly face at the odd-sounding, but technically correct singular use. 
Marc giggles and nuzzles into your neck. 
“Say yes mate!” 
“Yes please.” He mumbles as he sucks a love bite into your skin. 
____________________________________
Thank you for reading!
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dreadgrace · 8 months
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endless edits 1/?
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sturniozo · 7 months
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Valentine’s Day
Chris Sturniolo x Reader
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NOT PROOFREAD
WARNING unprotected sex, p in v, smutty smutty smut smut, I think that’s it
Masterlist
February 14. Today’s date is February 14. Valentine’s day. Chris and my’s first Valentine’s Day as a couple. Sure, we’ve spent many together just as friends with secret crushes on each other, but this time it’s real. This time we’re actually together and not just spending time together since we’re both single on this day.
I scroll through Instagram on my phone, looking at all my friends with their partners in their new posts. Heart chocolates and little candies with cute stuffed animals, or a romantic dinner date.
I bite my lip as I go back to the message Chris sent me earlier.
“Don’t plan a date for us today. I already got one planned.”
I rack my brain for what it could be. Romantic dinner? Movie? Something romantic, probably. Chris always goes all out for our dates. Even our first date ten months ago. He had laid blankets and pillows outside his house, and pointed a projector to the side of his house for us to watch movies in the dark together. He had made all our favorite snacks and ordered from our favorite take out place.
I snap out of my thoughts as another text from Chris chimes in. “Dress however you want but make sure it’s something you’ll be comfortable sitting in for a long time. I’ll come get you in an hour. Love you.”
I text a quick “love you too.” I know that by him coming to get me, he really means Matt will come get me. I giggle at the thought. Chris knows I can drive myself but he always says it’ll spoil the date if I drive myself and that he should come get me.
I decide to wear something in the holiday spirit. A pink long sleeve off the shoulder crop top, covered with red hearts, and a pair of light blue jean shorts. I slip on some pink heels and do a quick makeup look that matches my outfit.
I smile at myself in the mirror once I’m done. I flip my hair over my shoulders and stand up from my desk to head downstairs and wait for Matt to come get me. As if on queue, there’s a knock on my door. I grab my handbag and the gift I got Chris for today, and shut off the lights, heading out the door to see Chris standing there, smiling and waiting for me.
“Wow, you look amazing baby.” He says to me. I smile and blush, then kiss him on the cheek.
“This is for you, babe.” I say and hand him the gift.
“Oh, princess.” Chris smiles as he opens the box. He pulls out the necklace, a silver chain with a pendant with our initials and our anniversary, that’s been coated in my regular perfume. “This is amazing, baby.” He kisses my cheek. “Usually I’d be the one to get you jewelry though.” He laughs as he puts the necklace on.
Matt honks the horn of the car. “He’s impatient.” I laugh.
“He’s just mad that I have a girl to spend Valentine’s Day with and he doesn’t.” Chris laughs. He waves at Matt and then puts his hand around the small of my back. “Let’s not keep him waiting.” Chris says as he leads me to the car. He opens the door for me and I get in, him getting in after.
Matt mumbles something under his breath as he backs out of my driveway. Chris laughs. “What did you say?” He asks.
“How can you keep a girl when you have your brother driving you for your dates?” Matt says.
I giggle. “It’s no bother to me.”
Matt scoffs. “It’s a bother to me.”
“Can’t be much of a bother.” Chris says. “You’re still driving us around.”
“Y/n can drive, I don’t understand why I have to do this.” Matt whines
“It wouldn’t be romantic if I had Y/N drive herself.” Chris states.
“Oh, yeah and this is romantic?” Matt asks.
“It’s a lot more romantic when you don’t complain.” Chris tells Matt. Matt scoffs and Chris laughs and he puts his arm around my shoulders.
“So what do you have planned?” I ask him.
“It’s a surprise.” He whispers back to me before kissing my temple.
“Are we going somewhere?” I ask.
Chris laughs. “I’m not telling you anything.”
“We’re going back to the house.” Matt says.
“Matt, come on.” Chris says.
“She’d find out in point two seconds. We’re ten feet away from the driveway.” Matt says before we pull into the driveway.
“This is our first Valentine’s Day together, I want this to be perfect. Don’t ruin it.” Chris snaps at Matt.
“Whatever.” Matt mumbles as he gets out of the car.
Chris rolls his eyes, opening the car door on the other side that we entered in. He helps me out of the car. “You look beautiful, by the way.” He says to me.
I smile up at him and kiss his cheek. “You’re so sweet baby.” I say back. “What’s the date?”
Chris laughs. “You’ll see soon, let’s go.” He takes my hand and leads me into the house. He opens the door for me and leads me to his bedroom.
On his bed lays a giant stuffed bear, covered with multiple heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Rose petals cover the bed, along with strawberry candies and heart cut outs of red paper.
“Oh my god, Chris did you do this?” I ask.
Chris smiles. “Don’t look so surprised.” He says. “You act like I’m not capable of treating my girl right.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.” I laugh and playfully hit his arm.
Chris closes the door then pulls my arm and leads me to the bed. He sits me down on the bed, him standing in-front of me. “You look so pretty today.” He mumbles.
“Did you really do all this just to fuck?” I laugh.
Chris laughs. “No, I had a movie date planned. But I’m not opposed to-“
“Movie date?” I ask.
“Yeah. A movie date. Me and you, cuddling on the bed and watching your favorite movies while I feed you chocolates.” He says as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“That’s sounds amazing.” I say. I scoot back wards on the bed and curl up next to the giant teddy bear. It’s bigger than both Chris and I combined when we cuddle. “Where are you gonna sit?” I ask, cuddling up to the bear.
“The bears not taking my place next to you.” Chris says as he climbs on the bed, nearly squishing me as he holds me close to him.
“I’m sleeping with him.” I giggle and squirm away from Chris to cuddle with the bear.
“Sleeping with him?” Chris repeats.
“Not like that!” I laugh.
“He’s not gonna be able to fuck you like I do.” Chris says as he pulls me back to him. “You’d be doing most of the work.”
I only laugh in response.
“You’d have to be on top, which I know you love, but still not all the time. You’d have to sit on his face for him to eat you out.”
“Jealous?” I laugh.
“Of him, yeah. Apparently he’s fucking my girl.”
“It’s a stuffed bear, Chris.” I laugh.
“I’d be jealous if you sat on his face.” Chris says, ignoring me. “You never sit on mine.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” I shrug.
“It won’t hurt me. Come on, I beg for it all the time.”
“I could suffocate you!”
“It’s an honorable way to die. The best way. It’s the way I want to go.” He says.
“I’m not gonna kill you by sitting on your face.” I laugh.
Chris gives me his best pouty face complete with puppy dog eyes. “Maybe not kill me now, but it’s how I want to go in the end.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Come on. When I’m 80 and on my deathbed, what better way to die then by my wife sitting on my face.”
“I’m not sitting in your face when we’re 80.”
Chris pouts again. “My girlfriend hates me.”
“You’re such a child.” I laugh. I rub my fingers through his hair. “If it means that much to you I’ll do it. But you have to be dying already with no way to recover.”
“Deal.”
“And that’s the only time I’ll do it.”
“No deal.”
I laugh. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’d sit on the bears face though.” He says with a pout as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“Enough with the damn bear.” I groan and lean in to kiss his lips softly.
After a moment Chris pulls away with a smile. “You know… the movie isn’t going anywhere.” He says as he runs his hands through my hair.
“I’m not sitting on your face.” I say.
“You don’t have to. But right now, with all that talk-“
“You’re hard as a rock.” I say.
Chris laughs. “Yes, I am. And it’s your fault.”
I laugh. “My fault? You’re the one who started talking about it.”
“Yeah, and you’re the pretty girl in the sexy outfit lying on my bed covered in rose petals.”
I laugh and lean in to kiss Chris again. “I think the movie can wait then.” I tell him before pressing my lips to his.
Chris’s hands find their way to my top. He slides his hands underneath the cropped fabric and cups my breasts as we kiss. His hands massage my boobs as his lips trail down my jaw and neck. He lifts his head up and pulls my shirt over my head, throwing it on the ground.
He holds my waist to switch our positions. He hovers over me as I lay on my back on the bed. Chris trails kisses down my neck to my chest before lifting himself up and pulling his shirt over his head. He throws it on the floor like mine. I wrap my arms over his shoulders and pull him closer to me, pressing his lips to mine.
Chris pulls away, pecking my lips once more. “I want to go slow tonight, is that okay?” He asks.
I nod. “Yeah, that’s okay.” I say back. Chris smiles and presses his lips to mine again. He trails kisses down my body to my shorts. He pulls them down my legs and discards them on the floor. He presses a kiss to my clothes clit before pulling the fabric to the side.
He licks a stride up my slit, flattening his tongue over my clit. I let out a soft moan. He does the same motion over and over at an agonizingly slow pace. “Chris please!” I beg. “Just a little faster please.”
I hear Chris chuckle and he begins to quicken his pace with his tongue. His lips latch onto my clit and begin sucking softly as his tongue swirls circles around my clit. I moan out loudly, my hand tangling in his hair.
Chris enters two fingers into me, still sucking on my clit as he starts at a slow pace. He curls his fingers, hitting my soft spots and he pumps his fingers in and out of me. As I begin to feel the familiar knot form in my stomach, I pull on Chris’s hair lightly. He pulls his fingers out of me and removes his lips from my aching clit.
I whine. “Don’t stop, please.” I whisper.
Chris chuckles as he slips off his sweats and boxers. “Do you want my dick or my fingers?” He asks slyly as he positions himself to hover over me. He looks down between us as he positions himself at my entrance. He looks me in the eyes and then leans down to press a kiss to my lips as he slowly slips into me.
I gasp into the kiss. We’ve had sex so many times yet I’m still not used to the sheer size of him. Chris breaks away from the kiss once he’s slipped all the way into me, stretching me full of his cock. He buries his head into the crook of my neck as he starts pulling out and pushing in at a slow pace.
“Faster, please.” I beg in a whisper. Chris grunts in response as his hips begin to move at a faster pace. I wrap my legs around his waist as his pace gets quicker. Still slow and soft but just fast enough to make me see stars.
Chris’s grunts and pants sent shivers down to my core. “Fuck, god yes.” He whispers into my ear. I clench around him which causes him to hiss and grip my waist tightly, definitely leaving marks to be seen tomorrow morning.
Chris moves his hand to begin to rub circles around my clit. His hand gripping me tightly as his thumb grazes over my clit lightly drawing circles over me.
“Chris, Chris, Chris!” I moan out loudly, my nails drawing scratches over his back.
“Fuck, babe.” He groans in my ear. “I’m close.”
“Me too, baby.” I whisper back. My fingers go back to his hair, tugging as his thrusts get sloppier. The bind in my stomach grows and grows until I hear Chris’s sweet moan as I feel his hot cum shoot into me.
The bind in my stomach unravels and I shake from the pleasure of my orgasm. Chris whimpers softly from the feeling before he fully relaxes over me. He pulls out of me and lays back on the bed next to me, pushing the stuffed bear off the bed.
I laugh. “Are you still mad at the bear?” I ask breathlessly.
“How can I be mad? He just saw no one can fuck you like I can.”
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joszns · 11 months
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party animal ✭
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butch!ellie x fem!reader
content: drinking/drunk sex, oral sex (r recieving) strap on usage, semi-public sex (bathroom), jealousy, mild degradation, ellie has the worst case of phantom dick ever when she’s drunk
summary: after a lovely dinner date (not without some teasing of course) you have a few too many drinks without her at a friends party and she whisks you to the bathroom to remind you something.
a/n: thank u guys so so much for all the love truly😭❤️❤️BESITOS
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“hey ellie, you almost ready baby?” you called out, applying mascara and looking at yourself in the mirror.
you adjusted my dress, a black satin piece with a deep slit and a traditional slip neckline, adorned with flowery lace along the hem. you smiled at your appearance and left the bathroom, putting on your matching black heels and an oversized leather jacket.
you and ellie were going out to dinner, then to a house party for one of your friends, mimi. it was her birthday.
“could you help me put this watch on, dollface?” ellie asked, walking into the room.
“oh my god, you look so beautiful. that dress looks amazing on you.” she said with a smile, pulling you close by the waist and kissing your plump and glossy red lips.
“is that my leather jacket?”
you grinned sheepishly and kissed her again. “maybe…but I know you don’t mind.”
“god, you’re so perfect…” ellie muttered against your lips, kissing you more intensely. she pulled you closer by the waist which caused you to blush.
“mmm…” you leaned into her, hands looped over her neck snugly.
“no, ellie! we have a reservation at a very nice restaurant. im not doing this with you right now.” you exclaimed, pulling away suddenly and gathering your things into a purse.
ellie whined in response.
“god, fine. whatever. are we still going to that party?” she asked, following you out the door with her car keys in hand.
“yes, yes we are! it’s for one of my best friends.” you said back, rolling your eyes. ellie could get a little snappy when she’s turned on like this. honestly, it was kinda hot…
★・・・・・・★
“man…that food hit the spot.”
ellie got into the car happily, after opening your door of course.
she turned the key in the ignition and placed her hand behind your headrest while reversing, something that always got you a bit hot and bothered.
“i agree. that salmon was delicious.” you say casually, texting mimi that ellie and i were on the way.
“could you map the way to mimis for me baby?” ellie asked, resting her hand on your upper thigh. you nodded in reply, typing in the address and navigating as you left the restaurant.
“ooh els, can I have aux? pretty please?” you reached for the cord, pressing your chest together to show off your cleavage and grinning.
ellie glanced over and rolled her eyes. she knew what you were doing.
“whatever you want, babygirl.”
excitedly, you connected your phone and played your favorite song. on the next turn, you felt ellies hand move upwards and slide in between the fabric of your dress. her knuckles pressed into you, her pinky finger rubbing gently on your clit. you whined softly, adding more songs to the queue and trying to ignore her.
finally, you both arrived to the party, ellie being casually laid back versus you being sexually frustrated.
“i cant believe you! what’s up with all this teasing?” you scolded, punching her shoulder.
“that was payback for earlier.” ellie replied, walking inside and greeting mimi with a grin.
you did the same, rolling your eyes at her behavior.
“victim of the sassy masc apocalypse?” mimi asked, bringing you back from your head.
“dude. you have no idea!” you said with a giggle. mimi smiled and excitedly dragged you to take shots, leaving ellie alone.
she watched you and a few girls drink together, smiling a little and turning away. the urge to whisk you away from the group was strong, but it was a birthday party. she couldn’t do much.
“god, how many shots did we just take?” you said with a laugh, shaking your head as the alcohol burned your mouth.
“like 21- one for every year! don’t worry, these things are like mini cocktails. i think only the last two were straight vodka…” mimi slurs, laughing as she throws her arm around the blonde girl next to her.
you smile, the liquor warming your body.
“oh! oh! picture time!” she exclaims, pulling out her phone. the group gathers behind her, you following as well. everyone smiles, and she clicks almost a hundred photos.
ellie returns to the kitchen for a drink, a tinge of jealousy on her as she sees one of your friends’ arms hooked on your waist. you broke away from the group, smiling at the sight of her.
“babe! ill be with you in a sec,” you said, getting dragged away by mimi, “she wants to dance!”
ellie just smiled in response, sipping her drink. she casually followed you to the dance floor, getting increasingly more jealous as several of your friends danced up on you. you were laughing, taking photos and videos on your phone.
as the girls began to break away, dancing with other friends to make everyone feel included or to grab another drink, you gravitated towards ellie.
“hey babe! why are you being all mopey in the corner?” you said, giggling.
“i was just waiting for you. i kinda have to pee.” she said as she took another sip.
“let’s go!!” you took her hand, the liquor bringing back your arousal.
as you both arrived to the bathroom and saw the line, you formed your lips into a pout.
“mimi would hate me for this…do you wanna go upstairs to the guest bathroom? she usually blocks it off during parties because it’s a nice bathroom, but it’s just us…” you suggested, batting your eyelashes as you looked up at her.
privacy. perfect. “yeah, sure.” ellie responded, grinning internally as she finished off her drink. both of you stumbled towards the stairs, sneaking up when nobody was looking.
ellie pulled you into the bathroom, locking the door and pressing your back against it.
“didn’t you have to pee?” you asked, heart beating faster as you looked up to her.
“no,” she replied, leaning closer to you. “i just…i need you so bad, y/n.” ellie said, voice low and raspy.
you blushed, feeling yourself get wetter.
“i know they’re just your friends, fuck, i don’t even know why it’s botherin’ me so much.” she muttered, leaning her head on your shoulder. her hot breath fanned your neck, causing you to shiver.
“what..what do you mean?” you asked, breathing harder.
“i just get so..” she kissed your neck, causing your breath to catch, “ so worked up seeing you with other girls…” ellie continued, kissing your neck again.
you felt your knees buckle, tilting your head to the side to expose more of your neck.
ellie hums against your skin, her kisses growing more sloppy.
“don’t even know why i was all jealous..” she kisses you aggressively, her hand holding your face to hers. you whimper, melting into her. your hands travel over her clothed body, stopping at a hard lump in her pants.
pulling away in surprise, you asked, “did you really wear your strap all evening?”
“yeah. i wore it in case i needed to remind you you’re mine.” ellie whispered, kissing you again and hiking your dress up. her hand quickly pushed your thighs apart and started rubbing at your clit, feeling the wet spot your slick created.
“so fuckin wet, all f’me, yeah baby?” she said, causing you to moan. in your drunken state, you were like putty in her hands. ellie dropped to her knees, her mouth replacing those long and flexible fingers.
she practically made out with your pussy, her mind foggy from the drinks she consumed. all she could think about was you infront of her, melting in her mouth. she felt herself getting more and more wet as she lapped at you, her tongue circling your swollen clit as she suctioned softly with her mouth.
she always knew how to drive you crazy.
you were a mess, legs trembling as you tangled your hands in her hair. she looked up at you, watching you fall apart and try to keep quiet.
her mouth was amazing, knowing just where to go and when to do it. she flicked her tongue on your clit, bringing you close to the edge.
“el..ellie…m’gonna cum…oh my fucking god…” you whimpered, your thighs clamped so hard they were threatening to squish her head flat. she pulled away from your cunt abruptly, causing you to whine in frustration.
she licked her lips clean, kissing you passionately as she struggled to unzip her jeans. “gonna fuck you so good…” she mumbled, her drunken state clouding her mind.
ellie broke the heated kiss, looking down and attempting to position herself properly. eager for her, you hiked your leg over her hip and scooted downward, gasping and staring into her eyes as her strap filled you up.
“fuuuckk….” she groaned, her hips pushing forward slightly. you let out a whimper as her tip pressed against the end of your canal, clenching hard as you adjusted to her size.
“so fucking tight baby-you’re so tight..” ellie grunted, starting to thrust her hips.
you moaned in response, your head hitting the door. she took this as an opportunity to bite your neck, something she did happily.
“my dirty fuckin’ slut, look at you taking my dick, fuck baby..” ellie grunted out. “just slidin’ in and out of ya…you’re so damn wet..” her pace increased as she panted hot and heavy into your neck. you swore she could feel it sometimes, the way she spoke to you while you had sex.
“nobody but me gets to fuck this slutty pussy yeah? ‘s all mine..” ellie said, hovering her lips over your own.
“all yours, it’s all yours baby.”
she kissed you, teeth crashing into eachother a few times as she fucked you sober against the bathroom door.
“ellie im-fuck! im gonna cum!” you cried, too focused on her to worry about being quiet.
“yeah? cum all on my dick baby, show me how much of a cumslut you are for me…im so close too baby, hold out f’me..” ellie grunted, fucking you like she was an animal. you came hard all over her, crossing your legs behind her back as she fucked you through your orgasm.
“oh my god! ellie, oh fuck!” you cried. she orgasmed with you, her hips faltering their relentless pace.
she slowed down, slowly fucking you through every aftershock.
“shit…sorry baby. i think we got a little too loud.” ellie says gently, pulling out of your fucked out cunt.
“‘s okay.” you mumbled, sitting on the edge of the hot tub.
she wet a washcloth and cleaned your legs off, kissing your lips gently.
“i made you into a mess…” she apologizes.
after she cleans you up, you turn to the mirror and adjust yourself. you check your phone, seeing a text from mimi.
m: y/n!! ven acá, it’s time for cake!!
“looks like we finished just in time.” you say with a cheeky grin, kissing ellie on the cheek and putting your jacket back on as you walk outside the bathroom.
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