#minus the kidnapping and torture shes literally me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

noladyme · 5 years ago

Text

Chess. Chapter 3

Y/N never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. She only took what she needed, or what she felt others needed. She’d stayed out of sight for a long time, avoiding anything that could get her in to too much trouble. But for some reason Rick Flag shows up in her life, and in an instant, everything changes.

TW: sexual harassment/assault, torture, sexual themes

I don’t know how many days passed. In the dark, days and nights flowed together; making it difficult to keep up a daily rhythm that made sense.

I lived from meal to meal. Not that I ate much of what they sent in, which was usually more of those little pellets in water; and every third meal, being something cold and mushy, that smelt conspicuously like canned cat food. It took me about 6 “meals”, to finally accept that this is what it actually was. With the canned food I’d get a thin slice of stale toast. This – along with a plastic cup of water – was all I consumed for a long time.

Every once in a while, I’d hear Griggs voice through the speaker, reminding me he was still there. He’d tell me to get ready; meaning I had to face the wall opposite the door, hands and legs spread. They’d come in then, the guards, usually fronted by the man himself, and flip over the mattress, pretending to search my cell for contraband.

That’s when he’d stand behind me, pressing himself against my back. His hands would wander, patting me down everywhere, even the parts of my body not covered by clothing. After a final squeeze of my asscheek; he’d turn around and proclaim; “She’s clean”. They’d back out the door, shut it, and it would be dark again.

During one of these visits, I’d had enough, and as Griggs hand wandered towards my groin area, I quickly grabbed his hand, twisting his fingers until I heard a crack.

“Bitch!”, Griggs screeched, elbowed me in the side; and as I feel to the floor, I suddenly had three guards on me, kicking me on my sore hip, and on my ribs. One of the kicks pushed the air out of me, and as I desperately tried to regain control of my breathing, they backed out the door, leaving me there alone.

Maybe 10 minutes later, the speaker howled in the darkness.

“That was not very nice, puss”, Griggs said. “You know, I’ve tried to play nice with you; even breaking the budget on those canned foods you’ve been getting. No more. It’s time you settle in for the long haul”.

Music played, at first at a low volume; but then increasing, until it felt like my head was going to explode from the sound. It would stay like that for about 30 seconds, before being lowered again. It continued like this; music turning up and down, with the highest volume being so intense, no amount of covering my ears seemed to help. My heart beat fiercely, and I could even feel the veins of my fingers pounding. I curled up in a seated position.

After what seemed like forever, the music stopped. I exhaled, and removed my hands from my ears; my biceps stinging from how long and forcefully I had been covering them. I laid down, ears ringing; and I could hear the blood pumping through my body. My ribs and my hip were pulsating in pain.

I closed my eyes, and my body began to give in to sleep.

The music started again. Same pattern as before. I screamed, but at the height of the music, I couldn’t even hear my own voice. That’s when I passed out.

---

“Chess”, a familiar voice called. “Y/N!”. I came too, slowly.

“No more”; I whispered into the darkness; lips and tongue dry.

“Cover your eyes. I’m turning on the lights”. I recognized the voice then. Flag. With great effort, I covered my face with my arm, curling up into a fetal position. I heard the sound of the fluorescent lights flickering on. Then footsteps and keys rattling outside the door.

“Three goddamn days? She’s been out for three days?!”, Flags voice boomed on the other side of the door. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”.

The door opened, and through the crack of my bended arm, I saw boots walking towards me.

“We thought she was faking it, sir”, Griggs answered Flag.

I felt a hand on my waist, and winced in pain.

“What the hell did you do to her?”, Flag growled.

“She attacked me, sir. My men might have gone a bit overboard”, Griggs retorted.

I blinked, the light still too sharp for my eyes. Flag took a hold of my arm, pulling it away from my face. My eyes hurt, but I looked up at him. His expression was pained.

Putting an arm around my waist, he pulled me up into a seated position. I looked down at my body. I was filthy, covered in dust; and my arms and legs looked skinnier than the last time I’d seen them.

“Can you stand?”, Flag quietly asked me. His eyes were worried.

I tried to get onto my knees, but was too dizzy; and fell back onto my butt. Flag got behind me, and carefully slipped his arms through mine; lifting me onto my feet.

I was weak, and tried to take a wobbly step forward, falling back into his arms. He lifted my arm, and put it around his neck, dragging me with him.

“Help me out, Edwards”, Flag said, and a man with a stubbled face, standing a few inches shorter than Flag, took my other arm around his own neck. Half walking, half carrying me out of the cell, we passed Griggs, who was standing outside. I saw that his hand was in a cast of some kind; and smiled at the fact that I’d made my mark.

They walked me down a dimly lit corridor. Was I in a basement? The doors we passed were all closed, and I wondered if there were other prisoners behind them.

At the end of the hall were stairs, and the two soldiers dragged me up them, until we came to a new corridor, cleaner and brighter than the one we had come from. They took me to a room, sparsely furnitured with a metal table, and two chairs on either side of it. A clock over the door told me it was 3 o’clock. Am or pm, I didn’t know. Interrogation, I told myself, and the men seated me in a chair, handcuffing me to the table.

On one wall was large mirror, which I knew would be a two way.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The person staring back at me was someone I didn’t know. Her face was gaunt, eyes dark; and she was black and blue on one side of her torso. Well hello, gorgeous, I laughed at myself.

“Something funny?”, Flag asked me, on his way out the door.

“Just that stick up your ass”, I answered, and smiled as brightly as I could.

He closed the door behind him.

One hand free, I ran my fingers through my hair; matted from my ordeal.

I waited for about 30 minutes. Something smelled rancid, and I realized it was me. I hadn’t bathed for who knew how long; but it would obviously have to wait.

The door opened again, and in stepped the woman from the van, followed by Flag, who was looking everywhere but at me. The woman sat down, and pulled out a paper file folder.

“My name is Amanda Waller”, she said.

“I know who you are”, I said, and leant back in the chair, trying for casual. “I also know you’re here to make me an offer I can’t refuse. Literally. You’ll kill me if I do”.

Waller smirked. “I won’t, but the guards at this place might. Apparently, you broke the captains favorite jerking hand”.

“So you’ve been listening in”.

“We have. And though I am not happy with the way things have turned out, it seems all of this was necessary to keep you in line”, Waller retorted. “Let me get down to the point. Me and the colonel here, lead a group of people with special skills. For some reason you know this already; so you probably also know that each of these individuals are people, who most of the good people of The United States would rather see behind bars, or even executed”. She narrowed her eyes at me. “Before I continue, please humor me; how did you know of us?”.

“I knew about you. I didn’t know about Mr. Tall, Lean and Grumpy here”, I said, and nodded my head in Flags direction. His expression remained calm, but his lips twitched once; revealing that my answer had made an effect.

“Hear that, Flag? Your cover remains unblown. Good for you”. Her cold eyes remained on me. “Now answer the question, Y/N”.

“There are whispers. About a cold bitch who is tracking people like me; to use our… special skills”, I repeated her own words.

“But there really is no one like you, is there, Chess?”. She stood up, and opened the folder. “Y/N Y/L/N. A.k.a. Chess. Short for Cheshire?”.

“Nah, that name was taken”, I smirked.

“Right. You don’t strike me as someone with martial arts skills and venomous nails”, she said, looking down at my chipped black polish.

“I can scrap with the best of them, if necessary”.

“I’m counting on it”. She continued. “B minus high school student, until you had a run in with Jervis Tetch, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. Experimenting with a device he hoped would render himself invisible, he tested it out on one of his kidnapping victims. You”.

I winced. The memory of that event was something I’d rather have been left alone.

“It backfired. Without going in to the scientific details, it made you able to become invisible at will, without using the aforementioned device. He decided to use you for his own criminal activity, and for a few years, you worked for him as a cat burglar and spy. During one of his stints in Arkham Asylum, you decided to become an independent contractor”.

I sat up straight, daring her to continue. She sat back down.

“Burglary. Car theft. Stealing official documents from the FBI – impressive!”, she smiled. “Kidnapping of a senators daughter. Possession of an illegal drug substance?”.

“Actually those last ones were a two for one”, I laughed. “And it wasn’t so much a kidnapping as great weekend in Vegas. She was fully in to it. We almost got married”. The clerk at the chapel had refused to go through with the ceremony, because he was worried, we were under the influence of drugs. It might have been the smell of the half smoked blunt in my pocket that gave us away. “Stephanie? Tiffany? I can’t remember her name”.

“Melissa”, Flag said from behind Waller.

“Right. Melissa!”, I smirked. “You could bounce a nickel of her ass. Was she an ex of yours?”, I smiled at him. He scoffed.

Waller continued. “You’ve avoided arrest on most of your charges; I suppose, due to your condition”.

“My ability to smile”, I said.

“Yes, that’s right. Before you become invisible, you purr and smile. Is there a reason for this?”, she goaded me on. I knew it didn’t make any sense to be secretive, so I decided to be up front with her.

“I don’t know. That’s just how it is. When I need to disappear, my body vibrates, which sounds like a purr. The smile is what sends signals to my brain, to bend light around my body, or an object I’m touching; which then becomes invisible. Serotonin, dopamine… whatever. It works”. I sighed. “Where are we going with this?”.

“Task Force X, under the day to day leadership of Colonel Flag, has an opening. I want you to fill that spot”.

“Why?”, I asked, genuinely wondering.

“Because making things and people disappear is handy, in some of the missions the Force may have coming up”.

“But what is in it for me?”

“10 years of your sentence, per mission”, Waller replied, and closed the file.

“What sentence? I haven’t done anything in a long time”, I said, voice shaking lightly.

“16 months ago, judge Jeremiah Kelper disappeared for a week, before an anonymous tip led the police to him, bound, bloody and gagged, in a warehouse on Gotham Harbor”. Waller folded her hands in front of her, and met my eyes again. “When he woke up at the hospital, he was ranting about a “ghost” that had drugged him, dragged him to the warehouse; and held him for days, tied to a chair. The “ghost” had beat him several times with a pipe, and… well, let’s not get further in to that”.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Sounds like someone had it in for him”.

“Sounds like”, Waller half whispered. “I also know that Kelpers records are much cleaner than he is. But then there’s the money”.

“What money”, I asked, looking first at Waller, then up at Flag, who smirked at me.

“1 million dollars, cash, disappeared from a safe at Wayne Tower, two months ago. What did you spend it on?”, he asked.

Shit, they got me, I thought. “I donated it”.

“Some of it”; Waller said, and reopened the file. “987.000 dollars were donated anonymously to a local shelter for battered women, two days later”.

I leant forward; and Flag quickly took a step towards the table, putting his arm in front of Waller.

“Calm down, soldier”, I said. “From what I hear, The Wayne Foundation matched my donation to the same shelter, not long after”.

“You’re right”, Waller said. “It seems to me, you want to be one of the good guys”. I smirked again. “But you’re not. You’re a villain, Y/N – one of the bad guys. But you can make that badness have a purpose”.

I leant back again, and Flag relaxed, stepping back. He folded his arms – those arms – and leant against the wall, toying with the id-card attached to his t-shirt sleeve.

“Show me what you can do”, Waller demanded.

“I can’t”, I said, looking back at Wallers now surprised face. “I need energy to smile, and for the last – what – month or so, I’ve been living on stale toast and kibble”, I admitted.

“Flag”, Waller said, and the soldier took a candy bar from his pants pocket, and placed it in front of me. With my free hand shaking, I opened the wrapper, and put it to my lips. Taking a bite of the heavenly chocolate, feeling the wonderful sensation of sugar rushing through my system; I moaned.

“Mhmm”. Flag stepped back to wall again, looking uncomfortable at my sounds. I couldn’t help myself. “Got anything else in those pants for me?”, I purred; and as he quickly looked away from my face, I smiled.

Touching the table with my free hand, it went away in a mist, making the file folder look as if it was floating in midair. Wallers eyes went wide. I kicked of one slipper, touching the floor with my bare foot, and suddenly, the floor was gone, leaving the three of us as if standing on clear glass.

Looking down, I saw a cell, no bigger than my own had been, though better furnished; with a cot, a toilet, a couple of nudie posters, and a tiny table. In the middle of the room stood a rugged looking man, clutching a toy unicorn in his arms. He looked up, eyes large; before looking towards Waller. He smiled widely, gold tooth gleaming, and though I couldn’t hear what he was saying, it was clear it was along the lines of “I see London, I see France, I see Wallers underpants”. Waller crossed her legs quickly, and looked at me, with a mix of horror and excitement plastered on her face.

“Enough!”, she shouted.

That’s when I made myself disappear before their eyes.

Flag and Waller looked around the room trying to find me, before Flag ran across the invisible floor, towards the chair, grabbing for what I guess he thought would be my shoulder, but ended up being my right breast. Confused at the softness, his brow furrowed.

My energy gave out. The floor, the table, and lastly my body, reappeared. Realizing where his hand was, Flag jumped back, looking at his hand, face reddening. “Thanks for that”, I smiled at him flirtatiously. He turned his back to me and clenched his guilty hand into a fist.

“I think I’ve seen everything I need to”, Waller said, standing back up again, picking up the folder. “Training starts tomorrow. Once the colonel has calmed down a bit, he’ll make sure you get a proper meal”. She went for the door.

“Waller!”, I stopped her dead in her tracks. “Tell me, did Kelpers balls ever pop back down?”.

She smiled crookedly at me. “I hear he’s going to need some reconstructive surgery”.

She walked out the door, leaving me with Flag.

Flag unlocked the cuffs, and pulled me up. “Think you’ll be able to walk yourself this time?”.

I leant towards him, putting my hands on his chest. Fuck, you’re firm, I thought.

“I might need a little help. Feel free to grab a hold of me anywhere”, I beamed at him.

Flag roughly put my arms behind my back, and cuffed them together. “Let’s go, kitten”, he scoffed, and pushed me in front of him, out of the door. My friends The Tweedles were waiting outside. “Get her back to her cell. Make sure the lights are on until 2200 hours. And get her a proper meal”.

As Tweedle Dee and Dum supported my still weak body walking down the hall, I looked back at Flag.

“You like me”, I flirted, and his face reddened again, before he turned around, and walked in the opposite direction.

#rick flag #rick flag x reader #rick flag fic #rick flag imagine #suicide squad fic #suicide squad imagine #amanda waller

114 notes · View notes

goldenhydreigon47 · 4 years ago

Text

Y'know, I'm bored. May as well talk about the OCs I have for Rebel Hearts.

Aight so context: Rebel Hearts is based on the Terraria Calamity mod and is set after the Supreme Calamitas fight (Henceforth, I shall refer to Calamitas as Cal, Catastrophe as Cat, and Devourer of Gods as Dev. Why? Because that's what they prefer to be called in the story) but before the Yharim fight. Why? Well, simple: The Yharim and Draedon fights aren't in the game yet.

Please note, the only characters original to Calamity mod involved in this story are Cal, Cat, Cataclysm (the youngest of the siblings of themself, Cal, and Cat. I'll make another post about these three and Dev since I like all four of them so much), Dev, Xeroc, Noxus, Ignalius, Providence, Yharim, Yharon, and Draedon. Everyone else is a fully original character. So, uh, yeah. Here we go!

First up is the main character: Mariko Yamamoto (he/him or they/them pronouns). He's half human and half demon and boyfriends with Cataclysm in the story. Mariko's in the Mage class but specializes particularly in ice magic. His father, who was a thief and murderer who also did quite atrocious things I don't feel comfortable mentioning on here, was killed in front of Mariko when he was only 5 years old. His mother, depressed at the loss of her husband, tragically took her own life a few weeks later. Mariko was trained in combat, education, and life skills by his brother, Kronus, until Mariko was 16. A few weeks later, Yharim came along, bringing a then brainwashed Dev and Cal with him, and demolished Mariko's entire hometown, his brother sacrificing himself to save his life. Mariko, determined to save people, guided everyone to the exits while warding off Cal, who was less aggressive seeing how noble and polite Mariko was. Afterwards, Mariko literally dies from exhaustion, but is revived by Xeroc, who mentioned that his brother's dying wish was to, "Keep Mariko safe," or something along those lines and gives Mariko temporary immortality. Three years and three hundred and sixty deaths later, he defeats Cal and her brothers, but spares their lives, knowing that they don't want to live under Yharim. Months later (and additional fifty deaths, one of which caused by a backstab from Mariko's ex-ally Necro. Also, Mariko is 20 by now), Mariko is kidnapped by Yharim and tortured, causing him to die ten more times. However, as he was chained up, Mariko saw remorse in Cal's eyes, and decided to free her himself since her brothers had escaped already. Three months later, he encounters an escaping Cal and Dev and togther, with Cal's brothers, they form an alliance to defeat Yharim, with others joining later on. Speaking of which...

Akira Tadashi (they/them) is the next major OC to join Mariko's alliance. They were a vigilante Rogue class after Yharim burned down their hometown with Yharon when Akira was 15. This, along with constant abuse from his father because of Akira's feminine looks, caused immense trauma and PTSD for Akira. As a vigilante, they sometimes encountered and helped Mariko, with Akira never saying their actual name to Mariko. Upon encountering Mariko, Cal, Cat, Cataclysm, and Dev, Mariko and Akira have a friendly duel to test each other's strength and, after Mariko wins, Akira quickly joins them in their quest to eliminate Yharim (they are 19 during the story).

Next is Josephine Joachim (she/her), or Jojo as she prefers. Raised in the village of Erupis, she is from a long line of Summoners and gained her Stardust Guardian, which she dubbed 「Guns and Roses」 (yes, this is the character most of the Jojo's Bizarre Adventure references are going to) after an encounter with Yharim when she was 14 (she's 18 in the story). Upon meeting Mariko and Cal, she offers to take the team to her hometown but tragedy strikes as her mother is killed in front of her by Draedon and his new assistant, Sunork (keep that name in mind when I give the villains analysis later this week 😉). As she watched her mother die in her arms, she realized her true purpose: Defeat Yharim and free those trembling in fear from his tyranny.

Also, Yhagrim (he/him). Labelled as the "Hermit of the Mountains," most details about him are unknown minus his age (he's 27). After being discovered by Mariko, Yhagrim explains that, in fact, he is the youngest of the sibling trio of himself, Ignalius, and Yharim (Yharim is also related to Mariko but we'll get to that in the villain info). Upon their village trying to kill Yharim for trying to obtain power with dirty deeds, Yharim goes mental and destroys the village, including killing Ignalius. When he saw his brother, Yhagrim noticed Yharim stole the dragon egg that he was given by his parents at age 13 (this egg hatches to become Yharon). Yharim then quickly takes over a majority of the world and banished Yhagrim, erasing his name from all records as well as any info about him. When asked if he wanted to join Mariko's squad, Yhagrim initially declines, but joins after hearing about some of what Yharim did to his subjects (trust me it isn't pretty. Btw, Yhagrim's Joining arc isn't complete yet but it goes DEEPLY in depth into Yharim's childhood and family life. This is just a summary). Being an expert at Melee class attacks, Yhagrim can dual wield two of the Melee's best weapons: Nanoblack Reaper and Triactis' True Paladinian Mage Hammer of Might, so don't cross him.

And finally for the main cast out of the OCs I made, Drakonis Tremaine (she/her or they/them). While this Ranger class hasn't joined Mariko's group yet, her arc is after Yhagrim's so its very soon (she even forms a love relationship with Jojo). However, I wanted to mention her here because, what the hell, I mentioned everyone else, may as well talk about her. She is notably the edgiest and angriest of the group (only getting slightly less edgy during the story might I add) and is very reckless. How this came to be? Well, as a child, she grew up around a very conservative community she didn't really care for, despite how rich her parents were. This hatred only grew as she slowly started to become more comfortable with saying she was trans feminine and lesbian. However, upon coming out to her parents, they screamed at her and abused her for several months because bastards. If that wasn't enough, because her parents were high standing citizens in her city, many of the other bigots living there harassed, bullied, and even attacked her with intent to kill. All she wanted was to be accepted and validated, which she would later gain upon meeting Mariko's group, but her idiotic community wouldn't give her the acceptance or validity she needed (this entire bigoted community thing is based on my experience as a bisexual in the highly conservative state of Kentucky. I am not okay. Send help). So, eventually, her bottled up sadness, pain, and rage erupted and she genocided everyone in her town. This temper and dark side of her was sought out by mega bastard Yharim. However, Drakonis now lived by the ideal of, "Trust nobody, not even yourself, unless your desperate," so she outright refused to join Yharim, shooting him in the arm and nearly killing him, but he escaped because of Draedon's teleportation device. Many years later (she's 18 by now), she encounters Mariko and Cal, who offer her a spot on the team. With an annoyed and sarcastic tone, she again refuses, but some midnight talks with Jojo while the group is in Erupis and another major event that takes place during Drakonis' arc force her hand causing her to join.

Main Character OC Infodump completed. Infodump on Cal, her brothers, and Dev is next, then an infodump on the villains.

Hope you enjoyed this and I'll post excerpts from the story (currently in Yhagrim's arc) soon to show what happens during each arc (which range from two to twenty five sections). : )

#terraria calamity #writing #original character

4 notes · View notes

spidercakes · 5 years ago

Note

ABO prompt if you will - Tony is an alpha but Peter is a beta. They can’t be together as laws prevent alphas from mating with betas so they pine in silence. Peter gets kidnapped by Ross who is trying to figure out how Peter got his Spider-Man powers and one experiment changes Peter into an omega. When he is rescued, he is in heat and throws Tony into rut and the alpha claims his omega.

This prompt: implies smut

Me: ok, angst.

I mean, its still technically what you asked for minus the smut but also there’s like many angst.

Its not, Tony has decided, that they don’t want to. Its more like they can’t, not really, not without a level of backlash at every level that would make a relationship impossible. Its not exactly reasonable to start a relationship with someone full well knowing that everyone, including the damn government, will do their damndest just to tear you apart. Tony has no idea why there are laws preventing alphas and betas from being together, there’s no reasonable explanation for it. Omegas might be more fertile and have an easier time with alphas reproducing but its not like betas are infertile. And also he and Peter wouldn’t be a reproductive couple anyway.

Beyond that the reasons get even more senseless given that betas are just as capable of dealing with heats as alphas, and its not like alphas can’t survive without omegas in heat- they make it through most of their lives without that. That particular set of laws are, Tony has gathered, little more than forcing people to fit into the hegemonic mold of acceptability and he’s never been fond of that, but he’s also not stupid. Generally speaking any alphas and betas who test that shit see betas in jail for an extended period of time, not alphas. And he can’t do that to Peter. If either of them should end up in jail its him- first of all he’s actually broken like a stupid amount of laws in his lifetime and Peter hasn’t, and also he’s the older one. He’d miss out on less in prison, but the laws are designed to punish betas for not falling in line, not alphas or omegas.

So he gets stuck watching Peter from afar, working with him in the lab, and trying his best to avoid him blowing up in the field. “You know we wouldn’t say anything, right?” Bruce asks softly, disrupting his line of thought. Across the lab Peter is trying and failing to teach Dummy to fetch.

“Wouldn’t need you to. Since when have I been known to do anything subtly?”

Bruce sighs because they both know he makes a point. Its not like he hasn’t thought of that either, and Peter absolutely has. Came to him a couple months ago insisting they could manage it and Peter he’s sure could. But Tony has never been known for his ability to keep secrets or keep anything from the public eye. He literally decided to throw out Pepper’s cue cards and proclaim himself Iron Man because that felt less difficult than playing like he wasn’t. There’s no way Peter wouldn’t end up in jail over his stupidity.

When Peter goes missing it takes them a day to notice. Its not entirely unusual for him to disappear from the public eye for a day or two thanks to school and its exam season so Tony hadn’t thought much of it until May showed up at his door. “So you haven’t talked to him either?” she asks, clearly on the edge of panic.

Tony is too but he’s also not totally stupid- Peter isn’t exactly easy to contain with his abilities and hurting someone with super healing permanently is difficult. He once tested out a few theories on Steve and the guy is next to immortal. He can be killed, Tony is sure, but not through any normal means and that includes aging. Peter’s genes share a lot in common with Steve’s now, so he suspects he has a lot of the same resistances not that he’d ever dream of testing that out on him.

“May, I once watched someone drop an entire building on him and he mostly crawled out pissed off. I’m sure he’s fine, we just need to figure out where he is.”

“Is that actually supposed to make me feel better?” she asks and Tony sighs.

“My point is that he’s durable, exceedingly so. Causing genuine, permanent damage is nearly impossible. Its why we tend to send him out with Steve and Bruce- the three of them are stupid strong, hard to kill, and their collective intelligence makes them hard to deal with strategically too. Trust me May, wherever he is it might not be pleasant, but he’ll more than likely be fine when we pick him up.” Psychologically? Probably not, but he doesn’t want to freak her out and they’ve all, in some way or another, been held captive and tortured. At this point its like an Avengers rite of passage. That’s at least half their hero origin stories.

“How are you going to find him?” May asks and Tony sighs.

“His suit has tracking in it partially to keep tabs on him but also to keep tabs on the suit itself- that kind of technology wouldn’t exactly be put to any good use in the wrong hands. If we’re lucky no one has turned the tracking off. If we aren’t we’ll see where it went before he disappeared and go from there.” There’s also the added benefit of seeing where Peter ends up the most, where all of them do. It tracks villain patterns well so Tony will cross reference the rest of their tracking against Peter’s too, see if any data points stick out.

Bruce looks at the screen in front of him while Tony paces. Bruce is more than capable of tracking a wayward spider suit, a literal child could do it if need be, but Tony is stressed. “Ping is coming back,” Bruce tells him. “In uh… Florida? He have anything going on there?” he asks.

Tony walks over to the computer and pulls up where, specifically, he is. “No. We’ve all heard him refer to Florida as the smelly armpit of America so I don’t see why he’d go there on his own either,” he points out.

Bruce sighs, “I maintain that the smelly armpit is Texas, but you make a point. The suit shows a pretty much direct travel path too, which is unusual. How the hell would someone manage to get someone with his abilities that far in a straight path? It doesn’t even look like Peter fought back.”

No, it doesn’t. He went from one spot to the other, no zipping around in between to indicate a sign of struggle. He pulls up Peter’s vitals around the time he went missing and frowns. “What the fuck?”

Bruce leans in and frowns too. “Stasis?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re telling me you think he was instantly frozen?” Tony asks, eyebrows drawing together.

“Not instantly, looks like he reacted but not in time. And the information is from his web shooters, not his suit. Don’t think he would have been in it at the time. Isn’t it pretty much frozen proof anyway?”

Not exactly, but for the purposes of this conversation yes so Tony nods. “Okay. Given the time of day he was probably about to patrol but why the fuck would anyone freeze him? Why the hell would that be a solution to how to kidnap Spiderman?” Seems kind of stupid, convoluted too. Yes he would be exceedingly difficult to get a hold of given that he’s flexible, strong, and not exactly lacking in intelligence and fighting ability but freezing him? That could go wrong in so many ways. The fact that it didn’t is probably a weird fluke.

Bruce frowns, looking over the information again before pulling up his location. “Tony. I could be wrong, and I’m probably not, but I’m pretty sure that’s one of Ross’ beach houses.”

Tony squints, “who the hell is stupid enough to take their victim to their house? Can’t be Ross.”

“The freezing would make sense if it was Ross,” Bruce says. Tony raises an eyebrow, unsure how Bruce figures that. “He has most of out data on our genes, he’s already tried to experiment on me like five times, and Steve was at his least dangerous when he was frozen. And he’d have enough information on Peter to know they work in really similar ways. Freezing makes sense if its Ross otherwise what kind of idiot would decide to try and freeze a super person with no guarantee that it would work? If not for the information that being frozen essentially stuck Steve in a suspended state of animation, which would make it a lot easier to run a few tests on him, then that makes no sense.”

He says that like villains make any sense at all. The last couple Tony has personally dealt with rode his ass because his father was a dick and because he was kind of mean and didn’t talk to the guy on a roof. Villains are people too, and people make no god damn sense. But he does make a point about the freezing thing, with knowledge of Steve’s suspended animation it would make sense to try and recreate those conditions and hope for the best. It might be common knowledge that he was found frozen in the ice and lived, but its not common knowledge how that happened. There are whole fan theories about it that proper everything from the correct assumption that the serum made him able to withstand extreme cold with a lowered heart rate and slowed brain activity to conserve energy to aliens. And clearly whoever took Peter wanted him alive otherwise what kind of dipshit tries to freeze their victim to death, then panics and takes them to Florida? Though, Tony supposes, that does seem like a Florida man thing to do.

“Do you really think Ross is that bad at strategy? What if it failed? What if Peter didn’t react to freezing the same way Steve had? What if he chose a different route that day for patrol? Ross might be a dumbass, but is he really that stupid?”

Bruce laughs a little. “Sometimes I forget how often you and Steve run every available option through your heads before you do something. Ross isn’t stupid by any means, but he has Peter’s patrol schedule and around this time of year he doesn’t break pattern, can’t because of exams. Strategically its a good time to move on a plan that requires him to be in a certain spot when you know he’s far less likely to deviate from his normal plans. And Peter might be super, but he’s not going to not have a reaction to being flash frozen. If Ross’ goal is to experiment on him if he managed to escape the freezing he still learned something. Its unethical science, but its not exactly bad science.”

Yeah, he’ll agree to disagree there. Tony knows a thing or two about winging it when it comes to experiments and it never goes well. Okay, it never goes well for him. Everyone else seems to not have problems with it but he’s got bad luck. Still makes him weary of that kind of thing and also Bruce has a vested interest in pointing the finger at Ross. Tony doesn’t think he’d do something like that on purpose on account of unlike Ross he’s not a shitty person but still. its worth it to verify Bruce’s suspicions. He runs the address and turns back to Bruce, “you seriously think Ross would be dumb enough to drag Peter’s ass back to his house? Come on, even Ross can’t be that stupid.”

“Its under his mother’s name, I think. Its still not smart, but its close to a secret army base in the area. Peter might be there, not the house.”

“But they left his suit in the house?”

“Ross might not be dumb enough to do that but a tactical team might be,” Bruce points out.

Yeah, alright. Address results return and sure shit Bruce isn’t wrong, including the bit about the house being under Ross’ mother’s name. Except the woman is dead so it shouldn’t be but that’s a whole other bag of shit Tony doesn’t give a damn about.

“Is he really this stupid?” he asks Bruce.

He shrugs, “he tried to shoot me with a gun he knew wouldn’t work given that I’d survived being bombed at that point so yes, I think he’s that stupid.”

Tony sighs. “I guess I should be grateful for it but something about this feels too easy.” Nothing these days is ever this easy for him, usually its Steve that gets all the luck so something is going to go wrong, he knows it.

Steve lets Bruce take the lead because he knows Ross the best but it doesn’t work well when he keeps deferring to Tony. Probably because he knows Peter’s suit’s information best, and the information they got from the web shooters, but still. That and he probably has the most vested interest in getting Peter back. But Bruce’s suspicions are right in that he’s not in the house- his suit was, and one of his web shooters, but Peter was nowhere to be found.

“Are you sure your scans are accurate?” Steve asks him and he knows he can’t see his face in the suit but he glares at him anyway. Steve’s cheeks turn a little red. “For a mask that thing has a surprising amount of judgement on it,” he mumbles.

“We’ve found him,” Natasha says over the comms. “Bruce was right about that army base- Clint, don’t you dare piss on- oh my god, someone get here and deal with this,” she mumbles.

Steve frowns and Bruce sighs, concentrating for a moment before he turns green and gets considerably larger. Tony’s mostly glad that the pants he made to accommodate worked and no one has to risk being exposed to Hulk dick ever again. And if Natasha isn’t concerned he assumes Peter is okay, if likely shaken. Or still in stasis. That’s probably the most preferable option, all things considered.

“He’s loopy,” Natasha tells him, leaning against the door frame and Tony frowns.

“Can you smell that?” he asks Steve, who looks red enough for Tony to assume that’s a yes.

“Smell what?” Nat asks, looking between the two of them and Steve sighs.

“Shit. Neither her or Clint have a strong sense of smell. Budapest,” he says in way of explanation not that Tony believes it. They say that to everything and fuck sakes he knows, he knows that’s Peter.

He pushes past Nat into the room they’ve found Peter in and his brain is already fuzzy but he forces himself to focus through the smell and attraction. Peter has bigger shit to worry about than Tony’s biology to react to his. Shit. Peter notices him fast too, perking up as he sees him and when Tony gets to him he reaches out, circling his arms around Tony and pressing his face into his neck. Tony swears for a moment he sees white and he doesn’t mean to let out a small, strangled moan in response but its almost impossible not to all things considered.

“Hey, Tony,” Peter murmurs, voice at his ear and Tony counts to ten to try and refocus.

“Hey, baby. Lets get you out of here, hmm?” He pulls away, or tries to, but Peter pulls him back fast.

“No, don’t go. Please,” he asks, voice small and eyes wide.

Jesus Christ.

Bruce looks over at Tony, who looks half lost himself let alone Peter, who is happily curled into his lap, face at his neck smiling away deliriously. Every time he sees some poor omega in heat he’s a little happier he’s a beta because it looks awful. “Do… do you think you can reverse that?” Steve asks.

His self control is remarkable, Bruce will give him that. His senses have to be going haywire at the moment and Tony is having a hell of a time holding back. Granted out of the two of them Bruce supposes he expects Steve to have the better self control anyway. He looks over at Peter though and winces. “I… don’t think I can,” he says not because he can’t, he’s sure he could figure it out eventually. But after so long of watching him and Tony dance around each other it seems cruel to pull them apart when they can actually be together now.

“How the hell does that happen?” Steve murmurs.

Bruce shrugs, “no idea. Presumably some type of gene therapy but it looks like the rest of his biology is the same, including the altered bits. I don’t see why Ross would want to turn a beta into an omega, there’s no real use for that.” And of all the eugenicist ideas that have stuck around the idea that betas are useless and should be either eliminated or turned into omegas or alphas isn’t one of them. Now the assumption is mostly that they should just stick to being with each other because omegas and alphas belong together and betas don’t fit into that binary at all. There’s no real reason Ross would have done this except by accident and that’s one hell of an accident. The Nazis spent years on it and they never figured that out either, and god knows his own experiments went terribly.

“What did he want with him to begin with?” Steve asks.

Good question but they don’t have all the answers at the moment. Right now there’s like five different police agencies crawling all over that army base looking for motive and evidence. “As far as we were able to tell he wanted to know how Peter’s powers worked, and yours. But I suspect he chose to capture Peter because he’s the easier target. You’re well versed in military strategy and Peter is a stressed twenty two year old- he’d be my choice too.”

“And off the record?” Steve asks, correctly assuming that Bruce has his own theories.

He sighs, “off the record I assume he picked up my research where it left off. We found one of those spiders Oscorp had, the one that turned Peter into what he is. It looked different from the one Peter drew out for us.”

Steve snorts, “are you sure that’s not because Peter isn’t exactly a good artist?”

Bruce smiles too, looking over to Peter, who’s still curled up in Tony’s lap looking content. Tony looks like he’s given into his urges to actually react to Peter and he’s got his arms curled tightly around him, face tucked into his hair as he gently runs his fingers up and down one of Peter’s arms. “Could be that, but I doubt he got the colors wrong. They look cute together.”

He looks over at Tony and Peter but something looks off in his expression. “Yeah, I guess they do,” he murmurs.

Tony knows he should leave Peter be, stick him in a warm bath to cool his skin some and leave him alone but he can’t. Peter doesn’t want him to either and its hard to say no to him when he’s wanted him for so long. Peter has had an interest in him for longer, probably since before they met given that he wasn’t exactly unknown to Peter before then. He’d been so gangly and adorable and green, but full of promise and someone had to get the damn kid out of crime fighting pajamas. May might have lost her shit when she found out but Peter was Spiderman before Tony and he’d be Spiderman without him though he suspects Peter would have grown a brain cell or two and made himself a suit.

And then he got better, seemed to learn from everyone else’s mistakes and he grew up too. He stopped being so gangly and filled out, and his voice started to sound more like an actual person’s and not a squeak toy and he’s smart. He’s always had a thing for intelligence but with Peter its different than the way he usually is. Normally he likes the showy types, not unlike himself though usually they don’t present that showiness in the same way. Pepper was brilliant and had no problem showing off, but she never actually stated that’s what she was doing. She’d just do something better than everyone else and give them a look. Rhodey was the same way, except he had no problem rubbing someone’s nose in it if he felt like they didn’t get the point enough. Even Christine Everhart fell into that given that she’s tenacious and kind of an asshole, but genuinely better at reporting than most.

Then there’s Peter, who’s so quiet about his intelligence, who mostly just uses it to help people and make other people’s lives easier. Its a soft show of the way his mind works but its just… hard for him to get out of his head, the way Peter consistently manages to find easier and faster ways to evacuate people out of cities, or respond to whatever calls for their help they get, or new features for his suit that help him do his job better. People like to think of Steve as the golden boy but the truth is that he’s jaded and stubborn and sometimes that makes him mean and hard to work with. Peter is the one everyone should look toward but he’d never say so himself, even if Tony is sure he knows its true.

“Missed you,” Peter murmurs, curled right into his side, one leg thrown over Tony’s hip and his arms curled tightly around him. Every time Tony moves a little Peter clings harder and that’s adorable even if he’s sure that’ll leave bruises in the morning.

“I missed you too,” he says, running his hand up and down Peter’s back. Poor thing starts to get fussy if Tony stops, irritated that he’s no longer being scented. “Are you okay?” he asks. Its the first time he’s gotten the opportunity to ask and he can feel Peter smile.

“I can finally be with you, so yeah.” Fuck, doesn’t that just break his heart. He curls his arms tighter around Peter, earning a soft noise of happiness for it and Tony feels his heart squeeze. He’s wanted this for so long and he can finally have it so he huffs out a laugh and releases Peter from his grip. He gets a dirty look for it but Tony quickly tilts Peter’s head up and kisses him to remove the frown. Peter lets out a surprised noise and presses himself into Tony, shifting fast so he’s straddling him and Tony has no idea how they ever managed to go this long without doing this anyway.

When he wakes up Peter isn’t there and something doesn’t smell right. He frowns, wrinkling his nose and getting up. He feels hungover, which he knows is stupid but taking care of omegas in heat takes a lot out of someone and more out of the omega, so he has no idea where Peter has gotten off to. Can’t be far but he’s not in the bathroom so Tony decides to check the kitchen only to find him absent of that space too. He does find Steve though and he looks weirdly guilty.

“What’s up with you?” Tony asks, somewhat irritable.

Steve looks away for a moment and sighs, “whatever… whatever Ross did didn’t stick,” he murmurs and no. No. This can’t possibly- he just got Peter, he can’t give him up now.

He turns and walks out of the room fast, hoping he’ll manage to find Peter in the lab.

Bruce looks pained and Peter doesn’t have the patience for it because he felt his fucking heart break this morning and he has no time for Bruce’s pain too. “Please, you have to be able to do something,” he says, voice cracking.

He shakes his head though, taking a small step back. “Peter, the last time I did anything like this I turned into, as Tony not so delicately put it, a giant green rage monster. Do you seriously want to take that risk?”

Peter throws his hands up, “well I might as well!” he yells. “Because I’m tired of living like this, always skirting around my feelings because I’m a beta and I can’t date anyone who isn’t! Its bullshit Bruce and you should know that!” He’s the only other beta in the Avengers, he figures if anyone can relate is has to be Bruce. No one else has to deal with all the stupid weird laws that they have to follow to properly fulfill their role in never shaking up the alpha/omega binary that people think makes some type or equilibrium or something- he doesn’t fucking know. But he does know its all a bunch of garbage and all because people don’t like betas dating alphas or omegas, there’s no other reason to act like that.

“Peter,” a soft voice says from behind him and he turns to find Tony there. He turns back around immediately and squeezes his eyes shut because he can’t deal with this right now. “Hey,” Tony murmurs and Peter can feel his arms circle around him. He wants so badly to hug him back but he won’t, not when he knows Tony will just leave him and he can’t do it, he can’t deal with that. “Peter,” Tony says, “baby, I love you.”

He feels his breathing slow a little as he sinks into Tony’s arms but he doesn’t turn, doesn’t respond. He can’t because Tony is telling him that to make him feel better, not because he’s actually going to stick around in their barely even was a relationship. Bruce, on the other hand, looks uncomfortable and Peter wants him to leave as much as he wants him to stay.

“You’re just going to go,” he tells Tony, “so do it.”

Tony’s arms tighten around him some and he hears Tony let out a shaky breath. “I should,” Tony says, voice cracking a little, “because you’ll be the one punished for this if anyone found out but-” his words cut out for a moment and he takes another deep breath. “But I can’t, I can’t leave you.”

#tony stark x peter parker #starker #fanfiction #alternate universe #abo fanfic #omg lmao this is so not what you wanted im so sorry

145 notes · View notes

strawberry-skies-xx · 5 years ago

Text

forget the bottle

C H A P T E R O N E

summary: Jaskier has always felt things on a deeper level than most, and more often, and he has gone through life this way. He has coping mechanisms, of course - drinking, talking, singing, etc. He can't be overwhelmed by his emotions all the time, after all.

After the mountain, Jaskier's coping mechanism is drinking. Turns out, there's something in it, and Nilfgaard knows exactly how to break the songbird.

words: 17097

tags: geralt / jaskier, yennefer, PTSD, post-s1e6, s1e6 fix-it, a fix-it of sorts, pyschological trauma, psychological torture, magical fuckery, mind manipulation, aftermath of psychological torture, emotional/psychological abuse, torture, nilfgaard, captured by nilfgaard, fringilla, fluff and angst, protective yennefer, yennefer ships it, idiots in love, love confessions, happy ending, solitary confinement

author’s note: alright, so here is the zillionth captured-by-nilfgaard fic in this fandom. and, yes, whenever i mention valdo marx + jaskier hate-fucking, i am passive-aggressively yelling at the fandom for not having more of it. it has massive potential, but i don't write smut. (aka, please link me to any amazing top/dom valdo and bottom/sub jaskier hate-fucking, i love it)

scheduled tuesday and thursday posting.

main masterlist | story on ao3 | next chapter >>

-0-0-0-

Jaskier felt too much.

He’d always felt too much. He spent his younger years raging at his parents, raging at the world, though he didn’t know what he was raging at, only that he wanted to get away, be free.

And when he was old enough, he went to Oxenfurt and learned - learned academics, learned the arts, and he flashed through emotions quicker than he did love. The world was new, the world was bright and big and bold and Jaskier wanted nothing more than to carve himself a place in it.

And he did. He went to an inn in Posada and met a white-haired Witcher, and he learned some more. Learned of the darker emotions - not just anger, but revenge, and not just sadness, but despair, oppression. The world was new, still, the world wasn’t quite bright anymore but it was big and bold and Jaskier still wanted to carve himself a place in it, by way of one grumpy, golden-eyed, white-haired Witcher.

So Jaskier went through the world, and he felt. He felt pain lance through him, sharp as any blade - pain of heartbreak, pain of rejection, pain of actual physical wounds. He felt happiness, like warm honey falling gently over him - contentment when he sat by the fire with Geralt and sang into the shadows, joy when he roused an entire tavern into singing and stamping with him and he danced between them all, singing his heart out to the world.

He also felt love, in a more permanent sense than he’d ever felt it. Love was…. a peculiar sensation for him. He fell into love hard, and fast, and deep - both literally and metaphorically; Jaskier did enjoy the finer things in life, and he wasn’t above flirting and taking everyone he met to bed, sometimes at the same time. He adored people, like soft warmth rising in him. Lust was sharp and primal, carnal in its intensity, and Jaskier sharpened it into something intricate, turned it into pretty words and meaningful looks and determined intent.

And he loved, loved with his whole being, loved with his entire heart. Jaskier gave a piece of his heart to everyone he met, and sometimes he took it back after a fleeting infatuation, sometimes it stayed with them and he yearned. Valdo Marx was one of those people - he had loved him as he did anyone, had ended up hating him, but Valdo was not a fleeting love. Jaskier still loved him, even if it was only for their sharp back-and-forths and the truly mind-blowing hate sex they had occasionally - Valdo knew him better than anyone, except for Geralt.

Geralt was different. For Jaskier, love shot through him like a lightning bolt - or, Cupid’s arrow. Sometimes it went out the other end and left, sometimes it stuck and bled and scarred. With Geralt, it had shot through him like any other person, except it had stuck, it hadn’t bled, and it hadn’t scarred. Jaskier loved Geralt, and he was never so selfless that he never wanted more of him despite having what he already did, but if he was truly forced to choose, Jaskier would have been perfectly content with the life he led with the Witcher, would have suffered through the pain of pining after him if he got to stay.

Jaskier hadn’t chosen, though. Geralt had chosen for him, and he had decided that he didn’t need him, didn’t want him, and Jaskier had granted him his oh so desired blessing, and left.

Heartbreak felt like needles, stabbing him, over and over and over, in multiple places, and when he thought it was done, he’d see something and he’d be pricked again, it would draw blood.

Jaskier had grown very good at coping with his feelings - he couldn’t go through life being overwhelmed by all of his emotions. He did this in all manners of ways - writing songs and singing them, putting on the optimistic act to simultaneously let out emotions while hiding others, and talking, constantly. One of his better - or, well, quite unhealthy but very effective - coping mechanisms was drinking, which was what he was currently using on the heartbreak needling at him.

He stared into the tankard of ale, which tasted more like piss than actual ale, and sighed. Even the damn ale reminded him of Geralt.

Maybe the Cupid’s arrow for Geralt had started bleeding. Jaskier wasn’t sure if it would scar.

He groaned and dumped coins on the table, ignoring the flirtatious looks some women were giving him. He would have accepted it at any other time, would have lost himself in pleasure, but he felt slightly dizzy and he wanted nothing more than to find someplace to sleep, without practically selling his body for it. He didn’t have enough coin for a room, so he’d have to sleep out in the woods. Which, dammit, was just like he used to do with Geralt. Minus the Witchery protection now, of course.

Jaskier’s head was thoroughly spinning by the time he got out of the inn, and he knew something was wrong. He was drugged, he knew what it felt like to be drugged, having been enough times that Geralt actually berated him for having to rescue him. He ran through in his head what drug it could be, landed distantly on the salty taste of the ale, and cursed under his breath. Or, maybe it was a curse. Jaskier’s head was too fuzzy to figure out whether it came out as an actual word or as incoherent noises.

He saw shadows out of the corner of his eye - black, large, vaguely terrifying considering the way he stumbled and couldn’t think straight. He was caught by two strong arms, Geralt flashing quickly through his mind before a voice that was decidedly not Geralt whispered in his ear, smooth and cruel.

“Hey, little songbird,” not-Geralt said. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“Fuck off,” Jaskier replied. Or didn’t. He didn’t know, his head was spinning and he felt a headache pounding and his limbs were growing slow and heavy, and the darkness dragged him down all too easily.

-0-0-0-

Jaskier woke up cold, and shivering, and very, very confused. He was laying on his side on a stone floor, feeling like he had been dunked in ice water - which, maybe he had, because his hair was dripping wet still and plastered to his face. His hands were behind his back, and at an experimental tug, they were tied together too. He wore nothing but his pants, and his bare shoulder pressed against the cold stone.

Jaskier cursed, both from his situation which had rapidly come back to him, and the very annoying strands of wet hair that had decided to plant themselves directly in his eye, and managed to roll himself onto his back with some effort. He lifted his head as much as he could and shook his hair out of his face, trying very hard to ignore the feeling of it plastered to his cheeks, his neck, just all over the place. He took the brief time to berate whoever had kidnapped him on hair care - honestly, did no one know how to dry hair? He liked to keep his hair soft and this was decidedly not the way to do it.

Of course, none of this was what he believed. He was ignoring the fear crawling up in him, feeling like spiders and making his skin itch, feeling like ice trickling down his spine and tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. If he focused on anything other than the fear, then he wouldn’t be overwhelmed. It couldn’t do anything.

Jaskier rolled himself back on his side in order not to crush his hands beneath him, and after a long, heated moment spent mentally berating whoever had kidnapped him, again, on the best positions for singing, he actually started singing. The lecture went on, still - every time his voice cracked very much not artfully, or every time he couldn’t pull in enough breath, he took a second to come up with some particularly creative insult in his head about calling him songbird and then prohibiting his ability to sing.

He ignored the feeling of spiders crawling over him and the feeling of ice trickling down his spine.

It was an undetermined amount of time, measured only by the fact that Jaskier got through eight songs verbally before he started shivering uncontrollably, and six songs mentally before the door opened and a woman in blue robes and two men in black Nilfgaardian armor strode in.

He gave a dry laugh, ignoring the spiders crawling and the ice trickling. “Nice of you to stop by,” he said. “You know, it’s a bit contradictory when you call me songbird and then put me in a position like this, which is very much not conducive to singing, let me tell you.”

The woman in blue robes smiled and walked forward. She reached behind him and tugged harshly on the ropes tying his arms, pulling him into a kneeling position, before yanking him up to stand. Jaskier met her dark eyes, sensed the crackling undercurrent of magic around her, and supposed that this was Nilfgaard’s mage. Or one of them, at least.

She held his gaze for a long moment, searching, before letting go. “Untie him,” she said, turning around and standing several paces back as the Nilfgaardian soldiers descended on him.

Jaskier stood still, finding his heart suddenly pounding and adrenaline racing through him. This was his chance - he could try to escape now.

The ropes dropped from his arms and he lashed out, landing a right hook in one of the soldier’s jaws and aiming for another in the other soldier, when the entire room popped and Jaskier found himself slammed into by a wave of magic. His back hit the stone wall hard, knocking the breath out of him, and he gasped, arching. The sorceress walked forward, cruel emptiness in her eyes, watching him like he was a bug pinned to a board. Which, he supposed he was.

He was always a bug pinned to a board, poked and prodded and seen as amusing by Geralt and Yennefer and now this damned mage. Gods, Jaskier hated being human.

“Don’t struggle,” she said, voice oddly serene. “It’ll only be worse for you.”

Jaskier scoffed, rolled his eyes and studiously ignored the fear threatening to overtake him. Sometimes feeling too much was a blessing, sometimes it was a curse. Right now, it was a curse.

“Why? So I can become your puppet and you can do whatever you’d like to me? I’d be flattered you think of me that way, if this wasn’t a kidnapping,” he retorted sharply. The mage laughed, amused, and Jaskier tugged against his invisible bonds. Something in him wanted to cry at the fact that they didn’t even deem it necessary to tie him up, he was so weak and human.

The mage didn’t respond - not to his question, anyway. Instead, she raised two fingers to trace along his jaw. “It’s better to get this over with now,” she said.

Jaskier paled, felt the fear rising in him. “Get what over with? I’d rather you don’t-“

Her fingers landed on his forehead and his sentence ended with a scream. He arched against the invisible bonds, feeling the searing heat crawl into his mind, flood it with lava, with blood and pain and misery. She dissected his memories, sharply cleaving through every defense he had, and he felt the magic ripping through his body harshly, tearing through his mind.

Jaskier slid into the wooden seat, bread shifting uncomfortably in his waistband - but that wasn’t important. What was important was the lack of a review, the golden eyes staring flatly at him and the two long, sharp, menacing swords sitting beside the man.

“Come on, you must have some review for me. Three words or less.”

“No,” he gasped. “Don’t- please don’t-“

He screamed again as she ripped through another of his memories, feeling tears start in his eyes and the feeling of fear inch up his spine, waiting for the opportunity to get past his defenses and overtake him.

“How’s my singing, Geralt?” Jaskier asked loudly, because oh he wanted to have this conversation. He was quite heartbroken from the Countess de Stael’s rude break off of their relationship, and he thought spending a good long while defending his singing with a loud, unrestrained sarcasm he hadn’t been able to use since he entered the Countess’s court would make him feel better. There was something freeing about being with Geralt, not having to tiptoe around the darker and dirtier things in life.

Jaskier gasped through the pain, shaking against the wall, mouth now opening wordlessly as he arched and the mage tore into memory after memory, pulling everything he ever felt, thought, said, did, into full view, forcing white hair and golden eyes into the forefront of his mind. She learned he felt too much, she learned he loved too much, she learned of the frankly embarrassing number of times he hate-fucked Valdo Marx.

And she learned he loved Geralt with a love more permanent than anything he’d ever felt before.

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

The agony ended with that line echoing in his head and he fell limp against the magic holding him to the wall, gasping for breath and still feeling the echoes of the searing pain ripping through his head.

The mage was entirely unconcerned, standing and waiting with a blank look on her face until Jaskier caught his breath and sent her a glare. He growled - which, of course made him think of Geralt. Damn the fucking Witcher who stole his heart. “Are you done? Learned anything useful?” he snarled, truly not giving a fuck about whether he angered her and made it worse.

She traced her fingers along his jaw again, sliding them beneath his chin and raising his head, lowering herself down to look him in the eyes. “Oh, songbird. We learned so much. I'm going to enjoy breaking you.”

Jaskier felt the fear rise up in him, felt his breaths start to come shorter and tears fill his eyes, and forcefully shoved it down. He couldn’t let his emotions overwhelm him.

“Why do you want me?” he asked, uselessly. He knew why they wanted him - and he knew he couldn’t give them the answers they wanted. Geralt had discarded him.

The mage released his chin and stood up, not responding. Jaskier watched as she stepped back, flicked her fingers, and suddenly Jaskier fell hard to the floor. He gasped when the cold shocked through him, and the mage walked to the door with the soldiers. She turned back at him when he raised his head to look at her.

“The Witcher has something we want,” she replied, and turned and left. The door slammed loudly behind her and the soldiers.

Jaskier was left alone in the darkness, and the sudden drain of adrenaline from the mage ripping through his mind left him exhausted. He resisted the urge to cry; he kept up the dying hope that Geralt would save him, or he would escape, because they were the only things keeping back the flood of fear, and he knew if the fear and emotions overtook him then he would break.

For now, he curled up on the cold floor and let his eyes close, succumbing to the deep exhaustion and letting sleep take him.

-0-0-0-

The mage introduced herself as Fringilla, and the next time she came in there were the same two soldiers with her. Jaskier had searched his cell when he woke up feeling marginally better, though still freezing cold, and found nothing - it was pitch dark, so he couldn’t see, but he had felt every inch with his hands and there was absolutely nothing that would help him escape. He could barely find the door in the darkness.

The bright light blinded him and he covered his eyes as Fringilla and the soldiers walked in. He glared at them, backed away when the soldiers came up to him. They reached out and Jaskier laughed harshly, ducking out from under their arms. “Nope, no, I am not letting you touch me.”

Fringilla sighed impatiently as Jaskier kept dodging the soldiers, who did nothing more than walk steadily after him in the small space. He hated this, hated that he was trapped and couldn’t do anything other than run three feet from the soldiers and make himself look weak by prolonging it. They still hadn’t deemed him a threat enough to tie him up, for fuck’s sake.

Jaskier would have enjoyed taking apart that delusion, if he wasn’t freezing cold, half-naked, outnumbered, and with no weapon to speak of. He uselessly avoided the soldiers for several more minutes, until even he was growing bored of the game, and the only thing that Fringilla needed to do was raise her hand before Jaskier was stopping, freezing like a deer in headlights, fear flashing through him. The soldiers took that opportunity and slammed him against the wall, hands pinning his arms and legs in place.

Jaskier wondered if the display of sheer power against him was intentional, deeming him too weak for chains or ropes, but Fringilla smiled in such a way that it was instantly confirmed and Jaskier bit back his noise of annoyance. It was truly insulting, and hit something deeper in Jaskier that was still fighting, that kept up hope. He figured that was the point - if they could restrain him so easily now, what was the point of fighting? It would only be worse.

“Love,” Fringilla said, and Jaskier felt his stomach drop and his body go cold. If Nilfgaard wanted to break him, they certainly knew how to do it.

“It’s a peculiar thing, isn’t it? So volatile. It’s the only thing us mages can’t predict,” Fringilla continued, voice low.

Jaskier glared at her. “Shame. Thought you mages were all-powerful,” he snarked. Fringilla only looked amused.

“However,” she continued, ignoring his comment, “we can use it to our advantage.” And, yeah, that’s definitely not good for Jaskier, who squirmed just at the thought of what they could do to him regarding Geralt - because that was the only person he truly loved, really.

She raised her fingers, intent in her dark eyes, and Jaskier barely had time to protest, fear shooting through him, before cool magic washed over him like ice water, and he sank into darkness.

He saw the light first - saw the mountains in the distance, felt the clothes covering his back. Heard Geralt and Yennefer arguing below, saw Borch sitting on the ledge - and oh, fuck, this was the dragon hunt, he realized with a jolt of panic.

“Like fuck you didn’t,” came Geralt’s irritated voice, and Jaskier’s heart hurt just hearing it. He stood up, or, well, he tried to. There was a magical force pulling him down, forcing him to stay in the body of the Jaskier in his memories, the one who sat on the rock, and walked over, and then walked away. He wanted to cry, again, because he knew how this turned out and he could already feel the heartbreak needling at his skin, the pain of rejection lancing through him. He remembered how his dreams shattered like glass, and he cut himself on the sharp edges of them as he walked away.

He stood up, walked over once Yennefer left. Spoke without wanting to, felt the insistent magic tugging at him. “Whew,” he said. “What a day. I imagine you’re probably-“

“Dammit, Jaskier,” Geralt interrupted sharply, whirling around to face him, and Jaskier felt the needles of heartbreak start pricking him, stabbing and drawing blood. He was stuck in his memory’s body, though, so he was forced to listen, feeling the tug of Fringilla’s magic on his voice, on his body.

Geralt’s eyes were hard, burning with anger as he continued. “Why is it, whenever I find myself in a pile of shit these days, it’s you shoveling it?”

“Well, that’s not fair,” Jaskier replied, voice soft. It was just as painful the second time as it was the first, and back in the dark, cold cell, Jaskier was resisting the urge to cry. He didn’t want to relive this, it was too much for him to handle.

“The Child Surprise, the djinn, all of it! ” Geralt’s voice was harsh, everything about him was harsher and sharper and Jaskier was cutting himself on it, he was practically bleeding out with the force of the heartbreak ripping through him. He sang so many songs about Geralt, about him not being a monster, and Jaskier fought against the negative things said about Geralt with everything he had, but some dark, selfish part of himself whispered that maybe Geralt really was the monster everyone thought he was. He was certainly acting the part right now, hurting Jaskier in the most efficient, effective way possible. Jaskier was wrong when he said Geralt didn’t know how to use the blade of his words as effectively as steel and silver.

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

Sharp pain lanced through him and Jaskier woke up gasping, laying on the cold floor. The cell was dark; Fringilla and the soldiers were long gone. Jaskier was alone.

Jaskier shoved down the tears, shoved down the fear and heartbreak and emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Crying was not one of his coping mechanisms. Drinking was, talking was, singing was. Not crying, never crying. Jaskier would not show weakness.

Well, he couldn’t drink. He had two options. Singing or talking. There weren’t many songs to sing that weren’t about Geralt - and he had just been painfully reminded of how he felt about him, thank you very much. So he curled up in a weak defense against the cold, and in a quiet, cracking, whisper of a voice, started to talk.

-0-0-0-

Jaskier had fallen asleep in the middle of some sentence about geography, some passage he had memorized from a textbook when he was at Oxenfurt. He didn’t remember it now; didn’t need to. All he remembered now was the surge of fear as the cell door opened and Fringilla and two soldiers walked in. Jaskier looked up, too exhausted to think about physically fighting as they dragged him up from his position on the floor.

He did fight verbally, though, if only because talking to someone to fight off his emotions was better than talking to himself. “In the old stories, the knights swept the princesses off of their feet,” he said. The soldiers started pulling him towards the door - he had a vague hope of escaping, though he felt like shit because he was being starved and really had to piss. “Does that make me the princess?”

Fringilla gave her signature, idly amused smile, the one that reminded Jaskier just how much he was a bug pinned to a board and surrounded by immortals who didn’t care for him. “You’re a bard, and nothing more. The place we’re taking you is not from the old stories.”

Jaskier frowned. “Shame. Oh, speaking of being a bard, why do you even keep me here? You already rifled through my mind, you saw Geralt abandon me. You know I don’t know where he is, or what he has that you want.”

Fringilla didn’t look bothered. “You’re still useful. You know the Witcher better than anyone else, you can tell us where he would go next. His patterns of behavior, the way he thinks. The best way we can ambush him. Or, if not, you’re good for bait.”

Jaskier laughed, and the sound was harsh and mocking. “He won’t come for me,” he said bitterly. “You’re delusional if, after looking at that memory, you think he would come back for me. He doesn’t care whether I live or die.”

Fringilla smiled. “You’re right. He doesn’t care about you, and he won’t come back. Whether you help us find the Witcher or not, bard, you’re still ours.”

It came so easily, so certainly, that Jaskier deflated in the soldier’s arms, staring at Fringilla with a sort of blank horror. She had looked through his memories, had seen everything he’d seen, and she was able to say with such smooth certainty that Geralt wouldn’t come back for him, and he was Nilfgaard’s now. It hit the same part of him that it had when they had so easily restrained him, the deeper part of him that glowed gold with hope even as the rest of him withered and broke.

They stopped in front of a simple wooden door that Fringilla opened to reveal a room with a tub, toilet, and sink. Jaskier turned to the sorceress. “You’re giving me time to clean myself up?” he asked incredulously. “Doesn’t that go against, you know… everything about torture?”

Fringilla smiled again, but there was something darker in it. Jaskier resisted the urge to shiver at the dark promise hidden in her tone and smile. “You’re going to need it, bard. You won’t come back here for a long time.”

Jaskier felt the dread rise in him, like being touched by ice, and the fear. He nodded, staying quiet, and went into the room, flinching when the door slammed and locked behind him.

An hour later, the door was opened and the two soldiers came to get him, just as he finished using the bathroom. Jaskier sighed. “I’m guessing you won’t pamper me as much anymore?”

Fringilla smiled in the same dark way when the soldiers pulled Jaskier through the hallways. “No.”

They got closer, and Jaskier thought he was immune, he thought he was still strong, but he thought of the pure darkness of the cell and the cold air and the sheer loneliness, and started struggling when he saw the metal door at the end of the hallway. The fear was threatening to overtake him, his breaths came shorter and his voice rose an octave.

“Are you really sure you want to put me in there?” he asked, while pulling against the soldiers, who forcefully manhandled him down the hallway. His heart was picking up, and dammit he shouldn’t be this affected after two fucking days, but here he was. Nilfgaard had better torture tactics than they were given credit for - Jaskier had a bitter feeling that the reliving the hardest, most painful ten minutes of his life factored into the reason why he was so scared. “I’m sure there’s another option, something much less… well, dark and cold.”

“Will you answer our questions?” Fringilla asked.

“No,” Jaskier replied automatically. He wouldn’t give up that easily, no matter how terrifying the cell was.

Fringilla opened the door and the soldiers threw him in. He landed hard on the stone, still in only a pair of pants because that was all the clothes he was given in the bathroom, and he barely had time to watch the sliver of light be sliced away by the door slamming before he was left in pitch darkness, the cold air already seeping into him.

Jaskier sat up and leaned against the wall. He sighed, very firmly refusing the urge to cry, and stared into the darkness. He couldn’t even see the edges of the room, for fuck’s sake.

He let out a breath that definitely wasn’t at all shaky, tilted his head back against the wall, and started to sing - about everything and anything, because he couldn’t give a fuck about whether the songs were about Geralt if it meant he was distracted from the pain of knowing this was all he would see for gods knows how long. After all, it was just another emotion to add to the pile, wasn’t it? Nilfgaard wouldn’t care if he broke down - fuck, they wanted him to break down. Some dark part of him wondered if it would be easier to break down, stop fighting; it was only exhausting him anyway.

“When a humble bard, graced a ride along…”

#the witcher netflix #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier

15 notes · View notes

daenerys-targaryen-moved · 5 years ago

Note

LEAH omg have you seen the whatculture video on youtube about the most devastating tv deaths of 2019?! 3 guesses who took the top spot. they give our Queen her proper respect (minus a brief “it was how it was handled, not necessarily the arc itself” with which i totally disagree). just them acknowledging how devastating it was to lose such an ICON was somewhat cathartic. *trigger warning for a quick clip of THAT scene if you don’t want to see it

I don’t really watch any videos on youtube that have to deal with got because I know eventually I’ll run into someone who agrees with the ending and I don’t have patience for that kind of nonsense.

First off, I will never accept the fact that they took an abuse survivor, a rape survivor, a domestic abuse survivor, an ex slave, a young girl who survived because she believed in herself, a girl who just wants to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and turned her into someone who kills thousands just because of some bells, and inevitably gets murdered by her lover, the last person she trusts and loves. No. I won’t ever accept it. Anyone who says that the ending was bad because it was rushed really just don’t get it. If they this ‘arc’ of her going mad from the beginning, why didn’t they implant it more into earlier seasons?

You could be the devils advocate here and say, “They did!” and show times when she was angry and vouched to ‘kill them all’, times when she was unforgiving, you could blame it on her heritage, but then I would turn that around and ask you, “Why didn’t Jon go mad?”, “Why didn’t Tyrion go mad?” “Why didn’t Arya go mad?” “Why didn’t Sansa go mad?”

Up until 8.05, Daenerys Motherfucking Targaryen had done nothing that was worse than any other character, in fact, I’d say she was the one who gave more than any other character.

Show!Daenerys executes the masters who kidnapped, tortured and crucified 160+ children to send her a message while on her way to Meereen. Do I give a fuck? Nope.

When Tyrion used Wildfyre to brutally burn his enemies in the war against Stannis, no one blinked an eye. Not even when Davos expressed the fact that Tyrion was the main factor that killed his son. No one blinked an eye when Tyrion, in a fit of rage and despair, expressed the desire to poison and murder the entire population in Kings Landing. No one blinked an eye when Robb Stark, in a fit of rage and despair, expressed the desire to ‘kill them all’, after learning about his fathers death. No one blinked an eye when Jon Snow beheaded a man, a man who was literally begging for mercy mind you, because he refused to follow his orders.

Show!Daenerys learns that Hizdars father was one of the masters she crucified, and that he actually fought against the murder of the children (something that doesn’t happen in the books), and she graciously allows Hizdar to bury his father honorably so that he can go into the afterlife.

Show!Daenerys executes Randyl and Dickon Tarly, men who actively went against their liege who they were pledged to, helped end the Tyrell line, brutally masacered the entire Tyrell army, and also insulted Daenerys’ + her armies + Tyrion! She gave them a choice. She didn’t have to give him a choice. The punishment for treason is automatic death. Ned Stark didn’t get this opportunity, those who desert the nights watch are not given this opportunity, Daenerys didn’t have to give them a choice, yet she did. She offered, “Join me or die.” and they chose death.

Sansa and Arya both executed a man who abused them, used them and nearly plotted them against one another, a man who was begging for mercy.

I went on a slight tangent about the double standards but they really do annoy the living daylights out of me. It’s just all hypocrisy. She’s not allowed to breathe. She’s not allowed to do anything. She’s villified for the exact same things everyone else does meanwhile they all get a free pass. Miss me with that bullshit.

#long post #anti got #got meta #ish #anti dany bs #deanerys death tw #Anonymous

16 notes · View notes

thetirisfaltheatretroupe · 6 years ago

Text

[Script Archive] Hellsequel: Right to Remain Stupid

“Hellsequel, Right to Remain Stupid” <<The following is a play that has been retired from the Tirisfal Theatre’s library, and will only reoccur for private events for the foreseeable future. This script has been placed here so that those who enjoyed the play or wish to perform it themselves may do so. Credit for this comedic performance goes to the Tirisfal Theatre Troupe>>

<CAST: Garrosh Hellscream, Taran Zhu, Warchief Vol’jin, Jaina Proudmoore, Sylvanas Windrunner, Baine Bloodhoof, Kairozdormu, Lor’themar Theron, Thrall> <The scene opens following the narration. We begin at the beginning of the trial, following Thrall’s narration. Note: If the performance venue is large enough, Thrall enters from behind the audience, turning their attention towards him. He does not acknowledge the trial, rather, he is speaking purely to the audience.>

[Thrall]: O-Oh! Throm'ka everyone, I did not see you at first! You see, I am on my way to play my role in Garrosh Hellscream's trial you all...must be here for that as well. The ruling for this is quite obvious

<Stage whisper> He's guilty. Garrosh Hellscream...

He had his successes. Many tales followed after that at what good he did..even when things were not. That he was...courageous, a true orc's orc. But the reality of his story is a very dark one indeed.

Especially to those that trusted him... You would think, that the great Grommash Hellscreams child , who – yes...his history is not the same in everyone’s eyes but in the end Grommash did what was right.

He saved our people. Garrosh...Garrosh only took half of that history and continued with the wrong side. A path of...violence, hatred, and ignorance.

It hurts my heart. It hurts my heart to it's deepest core that this was the outcome to what could have been a great leader who would have been a leader of legend. But instead he turned into one of the biggest embarrassments to orcs everywhere, especially the Mag'har who trusted him.

Oh- I think I know where I am going...listen. Everyone. Let this evening be an entertaining one as we look at a dark part of our history.

When the clouds are gloomy and the rivers rise with rain, it is laughter that can turn those rains into a healthy shower..and then revealing the sun once more. Stare down these times with the confidence that humor gives us.

Who knows what will happen at this trial! Will justice previal? Or will Hellscream somehow get out of it all with his own stupid luck? So everyone please enjoy “Hellsequel: Right to Remain Stupid!”

<he bows and exits stage right. The trial begins. Zhu stands at the far middle of stage right. Hellscream is in the center, facing Zhu and kneeling. Baine stands right behind him, positioned towards the backdrop. Jaina, Sylvanas, and Vol’jin stand in a row behind them.> [Zhu]: It appears all things are in order, minus the absence of Varian Wrynn. Something about needing a chin graft, I don’t know. . Now begins the trial of the war criminal, Garrosh Hellscream, usurped leader of the Horde.

Representing him will be Baine Bloodhoof. For what reason… <He stares Baine down and shakes his head> I honestly cannot comprehend. [Baine]: <salutes> Your honor, I assure you that representing Hellscream is something I do entirely to ensure he receives a fair and just trial and answers fully for his crimes, and is in no way done due to a promise for a lifetime supply of Cherry Grog. [Garrosh]: <grumbles> Sure, Beef, why not tell them your shoe size while you’re at it…

[Baine]: <turns to Hellscream> But…I don’t wear shoes. [Garrosh]: …wait, then what are those things on your feet? [Baine]: <blinks> You mean my hooves? [Garrosh]: THAT’S what those are?! I always thought those were tiny circular shoes! [Baine]: <turns to Zhu> I’d like to make the first statement in his defense early and get it out of the way. Your honor, as you can see, my client is a Thoking idiot. [Garrosh]: <roars> YOUR FACE IS A THOKING IDIOT! [Sylvanas]: <rolls her eyes> Yes, tauren, I think we all knew that. Let’s hurry this along. I’ve got places to blight, people to raise.

[Thrall]: <he folds his arms over his chest, exhaling.> Let’s just get this over with..

Jaina’s has that... ‘drown the Horde’ look in her eye again and I am NOT going to clean this one up again. Probably. Maybe. We'll see. [Jaina]: <eyes twitch> Horde…too many…one place…nrrrgh…kill the Horde! K-- [Vol’jin]: WHOA dere, Proudmoore! Calm de calamity that be yo’ mammaries! Hea’, eat a Giggles. Jo’ just not jo’ when jo’ hungry! <hands her a Giggles bar> [Jaina]: DON’T TRY TO DISTRACT ME WITH DELICIOUS PRODUCT PLACEMENT, WARCHIEF! <does a double take and then takes the bar, turning away from the audience and then devouring it with loud smacking noises> [Zhu]: Everyone, sit down and shut up with your faces! You are in MY court, and you will adhere by MY rules! [Garrosh]: But! …will we adTHERE by your rules too? Eh? EH? [Zhu]: I will sentence you to death immediately if you make another bad joke like that. [Garrosh]: <grumbles incoherently> [Baine]: <nudges Garrosh> Between you and me…I laughed. [Garrosh]: Shut up.

[Zhu]: IN THE CASE… of Garrosh Hellscream, Mister Hellscream, how do you plead? [Garrosh]: <use Moros’ polishing Indecent, your honor! [Baine]: Yes. <does a double take> Wait, what? This isn’t what we agreed to. <Vol’jin, Sylvans, and Jaina all laugh at Baine> WHAT? I told him to plead guilty and I’d work to reduce his sentence! [Zhu]: ORDER! Order in the court! Hellscream, your attorney does not know of your decision to plead innocent. Do you intend to proceed with a plea of innocence? [Garrosh]: <flashes a big toothy grin> Does this look like the face of insincerity to you? [Vol’jin]: Ugh. De face only a mudda could love. [Zhu]: Very well. You stand before accusations of war, torture, kidnapping, twelve counts of assault with a dark herring, being downright ugly, failing to signal at a left turn at the Kodo Stop, biting, clawing, cheating, filing your taxes late… ...,stealing candy from babies, drawing phallic symbols on battlefields with the blood of the fallen, clogging fifty outhouses without telling anyone, animal abuse, spousal abuse, substance abuse, child abuse-- [Garrosh]: THAT WRYNN KID WAS ASKING FOR IT! [Zhu]: ...laundering money, laundering laundry money, conspiring to devour the entire world’s supply of raspberry pies, dancing lewdly in front of the August Celestials, telling horrible jokes, and last but not least, rapping like a grade A sucker. [Garrosh]: …hey, I only did twenty two of those things! [Zhu]: That last one was added after you got served in the last play. Deal with it, sucka’. Now then, do you stand before this court and say that you did none of this, even though you quite clearly confessed just now to doing twenty two of the twenty three crimes anyway? [Garrosh]: <turns to Baine> I got this, Beefcake. [Baine]: <grumbles and walks away> Sure you do…I better still get my Grog, though. Didn’t get any last time... [Garrosh]: Your honor, I would like to make my first defense. [Zhu]: Very well. Have you subpoenaed a witness? [Garrosh]: What? I should hope not! You’re a pervert for even asking such a thing out of me! <turns to Baine> What does ‘sub peenee’ mean? [Baine]: <smirks> It means you’re toast if you don’t have a witness. [Garrosh]: Dammit, and I’m all out of jam and butter! [Baine]: …I have to speak as literally as I am capable of with you, don’t I? [Garrosh]: Your honor, I would like to call to the stands my witness…uh…Notthere…Mc…Doesn’texistenhansonshire. The second. [Zhu]: …and where is this witness? [Garrosh]: Oh uh. He said he’d be late, so uh…you’ll just have to take my word for it that he really was there and saw everything, your honor! [Sylvanas]: OBJECTION! I swore NotthereMcDoesntexistenhansonshire II into the Forsaken army and know for a FACT that he does not know this gnoll brained barbarian.

[Zhu]: Garrosh, if you cannot provide a proper witness, then we will be forced to proceed to your opposition instead. Now sit down, shut up, and take your lumps. I call to the stand a Miss Jaina Proudmoore! <Proudemore stands at the plaintiffs’ stand> [Zhu]: Lady Proudmoore, how do you know the defendant? [Jaina]: <spits> He’s the scum that slaughtered my people in Theramore. I could never forgive him for what he did. GARROSH: OBJECTION ON THE GROUNDS THAT THIS WOMAN IS HARBORING AN OLD GOD IN HER HOOHAA! [Zhu]: A rather bold and... borderline sexist claim? Also, how do you know this? [Garrosh]: Because she smells like a dragon’s sweaty taint! [Jaina]: <her expression becomes borderline psychopathic and she crackles with energy> IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL TO HAVE AN INTER-SPECIES RELATIONSHIP, YOU THUG!

[Sylvanas]: Well that’s an image I’ll need to scrape out of my brain later on. Quite literally, even...

[Zhu]: ORDER! ORDER! Sit down and shut up, Hellscream. Now then, Miss Proudmoore, we are aware in the court of the terrible things Hellscream did to the port town of Theramore. But can you tell us any crimes he did that will not result in a pissing match between you two?

[Jaina]: <calms in bewilderment> Wh…what? [Zhu]: <gestures to the audience> We have a limited run-time, and this trial is just now under way. If you and Garrosh get into it now, I'm pretty sure it will eat up all the time we have what with the grievances between you both. [Jaina]: <her eyes crackle and she storms off the stand> New…objective…must…kill…fat judge… [Zhu]: Next, we call the stand Warchief Vol’jin! <Vol’jin approaches the witness stand> [Vol’jin]: How can old Vol’jin help ya? [Garrosh]: Wait a second, I thought I had him killed! [Baine]: …are you serious? He spoke already and you’re just now noticing he’s here? [Garrosh]: Oh. Wait, did I order him killed before he spoke or after?

[Baine]: This scenario is hopeless, isn’t it? [Zhu]: Tell us what grief this criminal buffoon has brought upon you, Warchief. [Vol’jin]: Ah yas, well, I was mindin’ mah own business, ya know? Doin’ a scout mission fo’ da bastard back when he be Warchief insteada’ me. I find out he be lookin’ for darkest of magics ta be creatin’ an unstoppable army fo’ himself. So I speak up about it, and his assassin stab me trough da neck. He admits he gonna do dat anyway unda’ Garrosh’s ordas. [Garrosh]: Wait, then how the hell is he still alive? [Baine]: He can regenerate. I mean, come on, you’re asking this stuff now? [Garrosh]: Uh…yeah? I mean, what does being a degenerate have to do with surviving a stab wound in the Thoking neck? [Vol’jin]: He be wantin’ ta take control o’ da entire Horde! Thas why I led de assault on him. [Garrosh]: OBJECTION! He didn’t go anywhere NEAR me with the salt shaker! [Baine]: I’m just not even going to touch that one. [Zhu]: You are a brave troll for stepping up, Warchief. May the trial avenge you for the grievances caused. You may sit now. <Vol’jin nods and returns to his seat> [Garrosh]: <whispers to Baine, but loudly so all can hear> So uh, don’t look now, but I think Vol’jin is alive! [Baine]: <turns away and chants> I’m doing it for the Grog, I’m doing it for the Grog, I’m doing it for the Grog… [Zhu]: Sylvanas Windrunner, please come to the witness stand. <While this happens, Thrall and Jaina run back, Thrall is putting his armor back on as he's running back and Jaina is fixing his dress. Not much should be said, just confused glances from the rest of the Leaders.>

<Sylvanas approaches the stand> [Zhu]: Lady Windrunner, you have filed charges against Garrosh for various grievances against you and your people. When did these problems begin? [Sylvanas]: <scoffs> Begin? That assumes he wasn’t an ignorant oaf from the beginning.

[Garrosh]: OBJECTION! I acted out of self-pity! She friend zoned me!

[Sylvanas]: No, I shot down your sexual harassment like so many ravens in a sky of black arrows. [Garrosh]: <flirts> You can shoot my raven any day. You uh...wanna see my prison tats? [Baine]: I want to see them! <everyone gasps at Baine> <Baine shrugs> What? I’m actually curious!

[Zhu]: Ignoring both of these morons. It says here he disallowed the use of a forbidden chemical military bioweapon called the…Blight?

So wait, he was trying to do something admirable? [Sylvanas]: W-what? No, no, nonsense, he didn’t take away our Blight, he was uhm…he was taking away our flight! Yes, that’s right! Without our bat riders, we could not hope to achieve victory in Gilneas and would have been overrun, so he effectively doomed my people! [Garrosh]: Hey! That's a lie! If I had my own perfect world, NOBODY would be able to fly unless they passed a long, dumb, arduous series of tasks meant to wear out their spirits and crush their interest in fighting! Only THEN would I allow them their flying licenses! Ah, what a perfect world that would be! <he cackles> [Zhu]: Hrm. Very well, must have been a typo. And other grievances? [Sylvanas]: Yes. <points to Garrosh> He wreaks of odors that make death itself ill. I’d like for his punishment to include a scrubdown if possible, even if you have to rob him of his skin to accomplish it. [Garrosh]: HAH! I KNEW you wanted to see me naked! [Zhu]: NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU NAKED! You may return to your seat, Windrunner. Next up… <he groans> Thrall. [Thrall]: Your honor, I’ll make this brief and to the point. Years ago, the Horde needed a leader. Garrosh was seen as a war hero for his work in Northrend, even though the heavy lifting was mostly done by Varok Saurfang.

[Garrosh]: OBJECTION! [Zhu]: DID I NOT TELL YOU TO STOP SAYING THAT?! On what grounds?! [Garrosh]: On the grounds that Saurfang did the heavy lifting! I can bench TWICE what that old codger could! [Thrall]: Yeah..welll! He once spat through the Dark Portal and killed the Pit Commander on the other side! You try and spit roast a pit lord and call me when you're on Saurfang's level.

[Vol’jin]: Oh my...

[Garrosh]: Oh, this coming from the guy who tried to set me up with the murder weapon. [Thrall]: What MURDER weapon?! [Garrosh]: Yeah, you tried to get me to trade my sweet hammer for your ruddy axe! <NOTE: Equip ‘doomhammer’ prop> <Garrosh waves Doomhammer around> I would never trade this awesome hammer for anything, especially a weapon that can trace me back to the various horrors and crimes of my own regime! <hugs his mace> [Thrall]: What?! By my BALLS, you’re an idiot! the Doomhammer is right where it belongs! Right h--- <he draws Gorehowl> ...WHAT THE HELL?! [Garrosh]: SCREAM!

[Thrall]: Look-

<he sighs reels back and just THROWS the Gorehowl back to Garrosh. He then kneels down to pick up the Doomhammer and runs back to his spot, securing the Doomhammer to his side.> Look..your honor, as you can see, it was CLEARLY a mistake to put him in charge. I THOUGHT he would wise up a bit, but I was not so lucky. None of us were. Then was like a bad itch. Things kept coming up and I... couldn’t resolve the Horde’s plight until it was too late. And I- [Garrosh]: OBJECTION! [Zhu]: <turns to Garrosh and shakes his gavel in his face> If you say that word one more damn time, I will shove this gavel so far up your ass the Sha of Sodomy won’t be able to find it!

[Thrall]: Hah... Sha of Sodomy.

[Zhu]: <turns to Thrall> Don’t get smug! Again, your poor foresight led to this moment. However, it would be unfair to condemn you as if you knew this would happen. Hellscream is unpredictable. The jury understands. [Thrall]: Wait..., you’re judge AND jury? [Zhu]: And executioner, yes. Should see a Friday night trial, I’m also the entertainment. [Garrosh]: OOooh! OOOH! I WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED! [Zhu]: NO! Now, Thrall. Have you anything more to say? [Thrall]: Yes. ..

< He turns to the audience, scanning them and puts a hand up as he speaks so he can deliver say what he needs to.>

Garrosh was given the mantle of Warchief in good faith that the wants of my people would drive him to do what was not only best...But what was -right.- Some would say that making Garrosh leader was the single worst decision I have ever made, and I should feel remorse for it.

It’s taken me a long, long time to come to terms with the fact that I may have very well been one of the catalysts that led to his rise. It was a mistake, One that I am honestly , truly, sor- <Thrall suddenly gets wisked offstage by the elements> AAAAGH! [Zhu]: …convenient. Next witness to the stand…Lor’themar! <Lor’themar approaches the ‘stand’> [Jaina]: More Horde? Piss off, pretty boy! [Lor’themar]: <chuckles> My dearest Lady Proudmoore, while I realize you must be terribly distressed by the presence of one of your moral AND tactical betters, I did not single handedly bring down twenty Mogu warlords on the Isle of Thunder whilst bravely making my way here, challenged by danger at every turn, JUST to be stopped by a pretty petty face. [Jaina]: Oh really? Well why did yours stop you from taking action when Garrosh bombed Theramore? [Lor’themar]: I don’t know, but I’d wager it was for the same reason yours compelled you to attempt drowning an entire civilization in return. Because that’s entirely what a level headed leader would do, eye for an eye and the whole world is blind. [Vol’jin]: Ehhhh, he gotcha good, mon. I mean, ya did kinda go off de deep end. Literally. [Baine]: I mean, to be fair, maybe she just wanted her point to make some waves.

[Jaina]: And THERE it goes! Nope, I’m done! Do with him what you will, but I DRAW the line and puns! <she storms towards the edge of the stage in a huff and leans against a pillar > [Lor’themar]: <shoots the audience an award winning smile> It seems the good lady and I had a…mis-punderstanding. [Everyone Except Garrosh]: BOOOOOOOO! <throw rotten fruit at him via toy> [Lor’themar]: Everyone is just…such a critic anymore! [Zhu]: Reagent Lord, you are the next witness to testify against him on this day. Your words will help dictate the conclusion of this conflict, and dispatch justice for the entire world.

[Sylvanas]: So don’t choke on the pressure, pretty boy. [Lor’themar]: Oh please, Garrosh is as good as hung. [Garrosh]: Well I mean, it’s not THAT big… I mean, no, yes it is! It’s HUGE! [Lor’themar]: <glares at Garrosh and turns back to Sylvanas> I am going to enjoy this far, far more than any civilized man should. <Lor’themar clears his voice, a light shining down on him dramatically> We have all suffered much under the misguided, arrogant, ignorant, horrific, and feeble minded actions of the orc before you! He stands as the worst example of his people, one who seeks only power and conquest. A megalomaniac of the most corrupt caliber, who walked among us in a position of power. <he gestures to Garrosh> Is he guilty of all he’s been accused of? Perhaps. Maybe. Definitely. Yes. Yes he is. He sent my people on a tyrant’s crusade, spilled blood unprovoked, and threatened to unleash ancient and dark powers upon us all. We were all there, so we all know. The judge, he also knows. Yet, should we allow his sentence to stall simply to get a confession out of him, we will wait forever. Do not expect the truth to come out of his mouth anytime in the near future. [Garrosh]: <face swells with anger> You…want the truth? <he stands up and slams his hand on the table> I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! [Baine]: That went way out of context, and off topic as well. [Lor’themar]: <pauses in silence for a moment then turns again to the judge> Your honor, I rest my case. <he bows and leaves the court toom> Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bottle of shampoo. [Zhu]: As eloquent as his speech was, it…kind of skirted around the issue at hand. [Garrosh]: But I wore my tutu for this one…

[Zhu]: And now we call upon the final witness to Garrosh's crimes...

[Baine]: My father's tormented spirit?!?

[Sylvanas]: Anyone with two eyes and a brain?

[Jaina]: The obliterated remains of my people?!

[Lor’themar]: <calling from off-stage> The wrongfully incarcerated elves of Quel'thel--oh, sorry, that was Lady Proudmore's crime.

[Garrosh]: Baine's father's tormented spirit?!?

[Baine]: ...I'm done being your defense attorney.

[Garrosh]: Oh come on, Beefy boy! We're all thinking it!

[Zhu]: The legendary Hozen hero...

[Garrosh]: Ooooooh my old gods, not him!

[Zhu]: Riko!

[Garrosh]: OH COME ON! I DECLARE A MISTRIAL!

[Riko]: <enters the stage and takes the plaintiff’s stand> Riko declare your ookin' face a mistrial! [Vol’jin]: Eh look, a monkey testifyin’ against a monkey! Innin dat what de humans parliament like? [Baine]: Nah, there’s a little less stupid. …more stupid. Less…um…what was the question? [Riko]: <clears his throat> Riko remember like was only yesterday that Garrymosh was wicked wicket with baaaaad ookin’ dookin’ about! [Jaina]: Can anyone legitimately understand him? [Riko]: He block hozen trade routes, make us Grookin’ Hill dookers have to ook in our own ookin’ hork of a dookin’ dooker dook. [Zhu]: <gasps as if this is some sort of a capital offense> That is…absolutely terrible! [Riko]: Riko know, right? Anyway, wikkets was under big Garry’s jabbers, makin’ them spook the ook’ into the dookers of hozen-kind while we was playing flerkin’ drink drink boogalo – hozen’s favorite game next to slap the slickie! [Zhu]: Blasphemous! How dare he exude such ignorant disdain for another people’s culture! [Sylvanas]: Does anyone else feel like we’re missing some context? Subtitles would also be nice. [Riko]: So Riko gather up his best jab-jabs and slickies and took Garry in hand to hand Dookin’! Garry cheat. He threw dook in Riko’s face, seen as act of blikk-jeekin’ dikkety dook-manker, and highest bleekin’ insult in all of hozen world!

<everyone turns slowly to Garrosh> [Garrosh]: <shrugs> What? WHAT? I left Gorehowl on the stove on my way out of the house that morning, I had to throw SOMETHING at him! [Zhu]: I see. Terrible. Simply terrible. You are very brave to stand up here today and testify, Riko. You do your people proud. [Riko]: Riko just doin’ it for all the greekin’ lil’ mankers back home. <takes out a tissue and blows his nose> They just grow faster than an ikken jibbet. [Zhu]: Watch your profanity in the court, sir. You may step down. I, Taran Zhu, will now decide the fate of this madman. [Riko]: <bows and leaves the stage, spitting on Garrosh on the way out> [Garrosh]: <angrily> Dammit…that monkey totally spanked me with that testimony! [Baine]: Well considering if it were the other way around, you’d…nevermind. [Zhu]: Garrosh Hellscream, you may make your final testimony now. [Garrosh]: I guess if Bainey boy won’t do it… <stands up before Zhu, then faces the audience> People of this court. Did I do everything they said I did? Well, yes! But I also DIDN’T! You see, my entire life, I have been raised under the pretense of war. I have fought, I have killed, I have led others into battle! It was GLORIOUS! But it also made me unfit for Azeroth’s ways of ‘diplomacy’ and stuff. That is why, people of the court, I am claiming myself unable to be held responsible for my actions due to my orcish upbringing! ORCFLUENZA! [Zhu]: OVERRULED! [Garrosh]: THOK YOU, I had to put my brain into overdrive to come up with that one! [Zhu]: Sit down, you little shit, while we probe the jury for the final verdict! <Garrosh, muttering, sits back down, as Zhu comes to the center of the stage and faces the audience, bowing> [Zhu]: Honorable jury of this court. <points at the audience> It is now time for your judgement of Hellscream. Is he innocent? Or is he guilty? You may now decide. <give the audience some time to yell out verdicts - have fun with this part> <Zhu returns to the stand> [Zhu]: The people of this court have spoken! Garrosh Hellscream, for your crimes against the world, you will be sentenced to…

…a big bleeding with leeches to cast the evil out of him, a spanking from ten thousand hozen…then death! [Garrosh]: BUT I PAID OFF THE LAST OF MY DEBT! I was in good standing with the Gadgetzan Credit Bureau! [Baine]: No, you idiot. It means you’re going to die. [Sylvanas]: And for the record, I won’t be resurrecting you. [Jaina]: I can’t wait to piss on your lifeless corpse… [Vol’jin]: I can’t wait ta be pissin’ on Jaina pissin’ on yo’ lifeless corpse. [Baine]: …seriously, Vol’jin? NOW of all times? [Vol’jin]: Eh, what can I say, mon? The verdict came up… <puts on Rhinestone sunglasses> golden! [Lor’themar]: <from off-stage> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [Jaina]: You’re all a bunch of animals… [Garrosh]: <gets incredibly angry and throws a fit on stage> Arrgh! I LOSE? No! YOU lose! All of you lose! Every last one of you will sink in the mud, be bathed in the blood of your own loved ones! I will cut off all your limbs and use them to build my throne, carve my name in the smoldering ruins of all your cities!

<everyone except Garrosh takes ‘deepstone oil’> You will weep! You will beg for mercy! You will—wait, are any of you even listening!? <suddenly, from off-stage> [Kairoz]: They can’t hear you, buffoon. [Garrosh]: Wait...did you...take away their hearing? <gasps> Are you…the Angel of Deaf?! [Kairoz]: …what? [Garrosh]: I KNEW IT! Hold on, let me get my herring aid! <Garrosh takes out a fish pet (Note: Name it Herring Aid)> [Kairoz]: Wh—no! I’m here to offer you a job. [Garrosh]: Well…I dunno. See, I’m pretty comfy with my Warchief gig, and I’m pretty sure at this point if I ask nicely, I’ll get it back. [Kairoz]: <gestures at the angry time-frozen faces around him> I highly doubt you can convince all these angry people to allow you that chance. [Garrosh]: Well, not with THAT attitude! [Kairoz]: Look, what if I told you…I could give you the power to change your people’s entire history! GARROSH: …go on. KAIROZ: <creates a sphere of sand in his hand> I have found a way to create timelines that do not even exist. Together, we can build an army, capable of defeating the Burning Legion, who will soon bare their fangs to us. [Garrosh]: …go on. [Kairoz]: You, Hellscream, have been chosen to rally the orcs of old Draenor, in a time before they were corrupted. You will lead them as a prophet and a hero, and arm them for war. Do you accept this task, bestowed upon you by me? [Garrosh]: …go on. [Kairoz]: N-no, you need to give me an answer. [Garrosh]: …go on. [Kairoz]: <rolls his eyes> Just…come with me. <pauses> Don’t you dare say go on!

[Garrosh]: … on go? [Kairoz]: Just…pack your shit and get ready to go on a wild trip, okay? [Garrosh]: Why, where are we going? <gasp> Are we going on a treasure hunt?! [Kairoz]: No. [Garrosh]: Why noooooot? [Kairoz]: Because shut up. Now, through the realms of time and space we travel… [Garrosh]: And…where are we going? [Kairoz]: Why… to a world of your design, Hellscream! A world of iron and bloodshed! A world of strength and honor, of blood and thunder! A world… <looks at the audience> …that has perfected the... craft of war. Or something. [Garrosh]: …go onnnnn? [Kairoz]: <sighs> Yes. <gestures to the audience> We will see you all in the thrilling conclusion! [Garrosh]: <faces the same way as Kairoz> Aw yeah, I’m gettin’ a trilogy, bitches! <Kairoz says nothing and uses his freaky time magikz to teleport them both away>

Thrall: Oh...Oh almost there. Nope wrong way. Ok....this wa- No. Hm AHA.

FINALLY...

Whew, I need a moment...

What did I....*huff* what did I miss....-?

<he looks around and realizes everyone is frozen in time> Oh no..

-OH NO.-

OOOOOOH NO, not again! NOPE. The last time something like this happened, I got jumped by a group of...black and white. Time traveling..dragons...? And then people were there and took all the items off of them, like thieves! Ohhh..it's ..it's all coming back.

Then I had major SHIT to deal with with Blackmoore and m-my best friend! OOH no, I am not GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN. AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT -THIS- IS.

I AIN'T HAVIN' THIS SHIT. NOPE. THE END. GOOD BYE. GO HOME. I'll see you all in Hellthreequeal! I need to go buy some anti-time travel socks from Grifta before this gets worse... THE END!! THE END!! IT'S OVER! Or is it just beginning?

NOPE, IT’S OVER!

<END>

TRIVIA

Hellsequel was originally going to cover the events on Draenor as well as Garrosh’s trial. However, in the original script, the courtroom scene was far too short, and we had way too many jokes we wanted to do with it. On top of that, the Draenor jokes were aplenty as well, and as such, we decided to split it into two separate plays.

Hellsequel is the only full production we have ever made that does not contain any scene transitions or changes at all.

We had fun combing through famous court scenes in movies and shows for this one, but Atos’s personal favorite scene to write was the reference to Jim Carrey’s “Liar Liar”, when Zhu lists off an obscenely long list of offenses Garrosh committed without pause. This was a reference to the scene where Jim Carrey’s character is asked by a cop if he knows what he pulled him over for and he asks “It depends on how long you were following me”, resulting in him confessing to every offense both minor and major he’d done and gotten away with.

This script has gone through the most changes over the years due to different actors and actresses playing the roles, or being unavailable for others. As such, so many of the lines in this play are an amalgam of improvisations done after the first performance onward. This resulted in a lot of confusion when certain improvised lines remained in the script that had context-specific lines to precede it - it was a particularly difficult mess to clean.

Despite the chaotic nature of the script, it remains Atos’s personal favorite of the trilogy.

This play marked the point where the philosophies on how we wrote plays about IC events was solidified. The idea was, since our writer was not around to see these events, he would ICly piece them together from second hand accounts, or even third parties, to create a messy quilt of cause and effect that resulted in something completely absurd passed off as historical accuracy. That is why despite this TECHNICALLY covering ‘war crimes’, nearly nothing is correct.

Tyrande was set to be a character in this play as well, but due to our cast size at the time, she was ultimately cut. Varian Wrynn would also make an appearance, as would Anduin. Our cast size dictated a lot of how we did things in the past, and to a good degree, it dictates that now.

Our poster was commissioned from @shamanofthewilds. He updated it over our old poster for the play, and he even did the poster for the third play.

#tttscripts #script archive

14 notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 6 years ago

Text

Yugioh S2 Ep 48: Bakura Completely Fails to Murder The One Person He Was Actually Supposed to Murder

Yo guys, this is the last episode of the season.

...

I know. How exactly do you resolve ANYTHING in one episode? The secret is, you don’t. Like...one thing did get resolved but it really seems like this was a 2 season storyline they were really banking on doing so well it would stretch into season 2 but, according to bro, this show got hella cancelled?

I can’t believe it. Finally. I’ve been joking about it for like a year but it actually happened.

Now my bro is full of spicy headcanons about this show and I decided to look up on Wikipedia to see what the hell happened between Season 2 and 3 for him to say this but I saw nothing about cancelling anything, but he’s pretty certain that this happened. So, I’m gonna open it up to all of you guys who know way more about this show than either of us to set it straight--was there cancellation drama between Season 2 and Season 3 or is bro just remembering history incorrectly?

Anyways, this show is obviously around for Season 3 but bro says it gets distracted and everyone has hinted that we get a really great filler arc that is most people’s absolutely favorite arc in the entire world. I’m honestly shocked I made it this far. But, lets first get into the episode.

This episode starts exactly where I wanted it to, with Tea realizing that she’s not only wandered into Bakura’s room, but that, from her perspective, it has made Bakura so freakin uncomfortable that he hella left.

Like imagine with me that your on a High school trip and you’re with all your buddies but then there’s that one kid who is a friend, but you don't know TOO well because he’s kind of awkward and also half a murderous ghost. Imagine he gets hella sick and then for some reason, you sleepwalk to his bedside, all draped across the sheets, and when you wake up he’s just...peaced right out of that entire awkward conversation that would have been.

Like...my reaction would have been completely the opposite of what Tea did.

Which was run straight to her somewhat-boyfriend Yugi Muto and tell him exactly what she just inadvertently did.

Also, forgive me for this aside, but Yugi is like 16, so why is Yugi randomly kind of jacked all of a sudden? Is that little backpack he carries just full of lead?

Oh wait, yeah...necklace is solid gold. But even still like...this small boy shouldn’t appear this jacked. Like, I know a lot of preteen girls were into this show for the large selection of anime boys, but I prefer Yugi looking sort of like the human version of a Pekingese instead. Mostly because I’m an adult, I guess. Not that I never had a preteen anime boy crush phase, but we’re talking Tuxedo Mask, who was sort of developed to be a preteen anime boy crush. Like, Tuxedo Mask has literally no other reason to exist except to be a perfect husband who gets abducted a lot, but Yugi? Like..he sells cards, why’s he gotta grow up?

My bros current spicy headcanon is that he’s slowly becoming jacked because of being in the Shadow Realm so often, and that it beefs you up like when Goku goes to space and turns the gravity on super duper high, but sure bro, you do you. Bro’s got a spicy headcanon for every loophole this show throws at us. (and it is surprising which ones were actually correct and which were probably a fanfic he read in High School.)

(read more under the cut)

Anyways, Yugi thankfully puts on a jacket and they decide not to wake up Joey’s room to see if Bakura also joined the Boy Chamber after Tea kicked him out but like...while that would be the most reasonable place to look, they decided to see if maybe Bakura is sleeping in...the hallways? I dunno why they immediately thought Bakura was kidnapped. Now that the ring isn’t with him then...there’d be no reason for Marik to kill him.

Then again, maybe Bakura kind of wanders off and does ghost stuff so often, that these two are always checking up on where Bakura wandered off to?

I guess these two just didn’t feel like waking anyone up. Or using the enchanted necklace Yugi just got. Or asking Roland the security guard. Or maybe, I dunno, ever asking Kaiba for help, who is still absolutely awake and doing literally nothing else with his time.

Like serious talk, a lot of this season’s problems would have been resolved if they had just gone to the guy in charge of the tourney and asked for him to use his endless resources to help out the tourney that he is hosting. Like, he would have done it. I know this is a bit of a stretch but I don’t think Kaiba wants people dueling to the death at 3AM. Especially if he can’t watch them do it.

I appreciate that the blimp was so important to Kaiba that he rendered it in 3-D and has it just rotating there, weirdly CG while the rest of this screen is drawn. Also, Kaiba’s desktop situation is an absolute nightmare, this boy is somehow managing a company but he cannot manage a desktop?

PS are you ready for this outfit without the horrible spiky shoulder jacket? Are you ready? Because I wasn’t.

he can’t seem to get away from that victorian gothic lady silhouette.

And so Kaiba is faced with a problem, he’s only got a low win chance to get this card the fair way. This would be a great time to just arrest Marik right now, although it would be somewhat difficult since their duel to the death is halfway over, but like, Kaiba also really likes losing at cards. He says he doesn’t, but Kaiba seems to sprint to every opportunity he can get to absolutely lose or only just narrowly win because your Dead Wife Card sent you a weird hallucination that one time.

Like...of the times that Kaiba’s dueled solo we’ve only seen Kaiba win twice, right? And once was to a random guy on the street? Yeah. Kaiba’s only won a single time on screen.

I mean, of course, unless you count the time he threatened to commit suicide if he lost and Yugi was like “What the hell!?” but I don’t know if we should count that as like...a game.

Despite the fact that Yugi has never once offered her even like...a coat in this freakin weather, Tea has decided that they’re official enough, that she will argue with him about how they now both...share a destiny??? This feels like jumping the gun a little bit?

I don’t know what the hell she’s even talking about. But she’s been treating it like they’ve been married for like 8 years. Which...would require a little bit more...supporting evidence for me as a viewer that Tea and Yugi would actually be this much of an item at this point.

Like at least she’s not a reincarnated soul of his dead wife stuffed into a playing card--this show has pulled weirder random romance plots out of it’s ass--but it’s a huge leap to suddenly tell me “And remember these two???? This romance of the ages?????” at this point, this far into the end of the season.

And like...don’t be misled by my description of this conversation, they never once even come closer than a foot of each other.

Everything about this is kinda weird. No kinkshame of course, all ships are good and valid. But, assuming that Marik’s got a foot in both Tea and Bakura’s brain right now, these two are 6 people right now (2 are Bakura, if he’s still swimming around with Tea, it’s unclear), and 2(3) of those people has tried to kill both of them, but now are piggybacking on these guys’ bodies that are currently fumbling about how the hell to date even. Imagine how awkward Marik feels rn. Just imagine.

Or maybe he’s super into it, Marik’s a nut.

Pharaoh just kind of rolled his eyes and walked through this mist door as Tea stood uselessly on the other side and it’s like, yeah, we feel you, Pharaoh, we don’t know why that conversation had to happen either.

Meanwhile, I’ve been skipping the card game portion which actually looked very nice. Again, it was the last episode, they upped their game, but that won’t come through in caps so just know--that was nice. but because Bakura decided to do the taboo of playing a God Card, it absolutely royally screwed him over. and then Marik fused his body to it like Final Fantasy and it’s like...sure why not. It’s the last episode. Fuse your body with a playing card, no one will question how that would have worked outside of a shadow game.

Anyways, Marik kinda saw that happen and was like, well damn. Didn’t know it could do that. Weird, right? Huh. So much for living in obscurity and being tortured underground and keeping the Pharaoh’s secrets for 5000 years, apparently we knew...NONE OF THEM.

And then Bakura died, and even dropped us an iconic one liner as Marik sends him into the darkness while saying “enjoy the darkness!” or something like that. This was extremely 2000′s. It’s fine to be cliche if you’re...Bakura. You kinda have to be. That is the whole point of Bakura.

So he said, something like this

Like the exact line was more like...”Did you forget, I AM darkness??” or something, but man, that sums up the whole of Bakura so well. Like, he doesn’t make sense. But, he doesn’t have to, because the point of Bakura is that he’s just a walking 00′s prototype and that’s what makes him great. Like if you could make the 00′s hot topic aesthetic (minus the meme shirts) into a candle and then burn it down to nearly the end of the wick--that’s Bakura.

Like I watch kids as a dayjob and the other day the 12yo was like “I drew stuff, do you want to see?” so I was like “Absolutely!” and she’s like “I warn you--it’s kind of messed up.” and I’m like “that’s fine” and she’s like “no but really it’s spooky, ok? I just want to warn you.” and I’m like “try me” and she flips open her ipad and in the apple version of MSpaint I kid you not it was

A happy face

crying black tears.

And I’m like “Wow.” and she’s like “I know, it’s pretty dark” and I’m like “well, not exactly, he seems pretty cheerful” and she was like “well this one is really really scary are you ready?” and I’m like “OK, because that one was pretty happy” and she’s like “no Rach this one is like reallllllly messed up. You’re going to think I’m crazy.” and I’m like “oh shoot” and she flipped open to the next page in her ipad and it was

A happy face

It’s eyes are bloodshot. (magenta blood. It was Magenta)

And I’m like “wow! He’s even happier!” and she was like “But this is the scariest thing I’ve ever drawn in my life!” because to a 12yo, that is scary. Like it’s funny to me because honestly, the way kids and even teens think of what is “scary” is so different than what is “scary” to an adult. And Bakura is sort of like the personification of an MSpaint happy face crying blood tears.

Like, he’s different than Marik in that Marik’s backstory was super well established, while Bakura...never needed one. Apparently he will get one, but he honestly doesn’t need it. He’s just a nightmare that a kid would have. I don’t really question the logic of what happens around Bakura vs everyone else because...he’s Bakura.

I do question that he somehow got beaten by Marik. That doesn’t add up for me, but honestly the other Marik kind of messed Bakura up so...you could say he was doomed to fail that. It was more that Marik beat himself and dragged Bakura with him.

And like, I’m not upset that I don’t have to look up Britishisms anymore and take notes during British Bake Off and then completely lose those notes when it comes time to write these. But wow, I will miss Bakura.

Didn’t know I’d miss you until you were gone, little gross disgusting buddy.

Didn’t realize how I’d miss you killing off random people all the time and pretending to be a good boy while leaving little cookie crumbs of a storyline that will apparently not even get picked up until like forever from now.

Ah, so lets pour a glass of fries that we call potato chips, pour some vinegar all over them and remember our favorite Bakura moments.

Like that time he straight up murdered everyone on this show and then inspired me to pick up bro’s idea to create this entire blog series.

Or that time he tried to possess Mokuba but then got stomach punched by Tristan while everyone else canonically thought Tristan was taking 4 hours to poop.

Or that time he decided “Screw this, I’m just going to use lasers!” and then never used lasers ever again.

Or that time they all walked in on Pegasus doing human sacrifices of living people and Bakura went “Oi, that’s a little much!” and then wiped everyone’s memories and dragged them back to their rooms, including Pegasus.

Or that time he decided to swing from the rafters of a warehouse and knock over Bandit Keith, and then say “Oi, all better” and then just walked away while the entire warehouse combusted into flames.

Or that time he just held up a recently used disembodied eyeball and then in the Japanese version, licked it clean.

I will miss you, you freakin weirdo, and will I ever get to write about him again? I actually have no idea. Season 5 is a really long time from now. I’ll keep the Bakura color palate saved in the corner of my Photoshop, but ah, it will be a forever from now before I get to click it again. If I ever do.

But congrats to his voice actor who now gets to take a very long drink of tea and fix whatever the hell talking like Bakura does to your vocal chords.

Marik picks up the ring although I’m not sure that it matters and now I’m very confused as to where the hell the absolutely never-washed eyeball went. Maybe he saw it rolling around down there and was like “I’ll have to come back with a ziplock baggy for that.”

We started this season with Yugi being late and arguing with Tea about being late and now we end the same way. It all came together.

Yami could have done something, but there wasn’t enough time in this season, so he just let Marik walk free.

I swear, Yami.

In her defense, maybe this is what jammies actually are when you live underground?

And then, to make things even more complicated, Marik has decided to show up to Ishizu as...Tea.

Also, miracles of miracles, this plot thread actually paid off:

And then for I guess 2 Seasons Bakura just plays with Yugi’s Tomogachi’s and does calf raises on all these stairs. I would say he’d have to avoid running into Pharaoh, but I feel like Pharaoh only really hangs out in the one room at the entrance. He doesn’t seem to really care about these doors anymore.

At least someone was there for the Tomogachis, in the end. Mine has been dead for 20 years, but Yugi’s will live on apparently eternally. The immortal Tomogachi (which was apparently featured in Season Zero?).

Stepping away from the Yugioh Tomogachi headcanon, lets see what Marik’s up to. Oh that’s right, that thing he keeps trying to do.

Nice.

And just when I thought this episode was finally over, get ready for it, get ready for this massive plot dump that just comes right out of no where so quickly I didn’t even get to fit it all in one cap.

That’s right, this season ended with a cliffhanger of Seto saying along the lines of he stole his father’s company (OK?) and then his Stepfather got super pissed and fled here and then Kaiba built a huge ass phallic tower on it and like...it was a lot for the last 1 minute of the show.

Anyways, it ends with Kaiba being like “NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND, WHY WE’RE COMING HERE, TO THIS ISLAND, TO PLAY CARDS!?” and it’s like no, no one understands, Kaiba. Your brain doesn’t work right. This is weird.

This is so freakin weird.

Kaiba was giving the Ishtars a hard time about their family issues being resolved with his tourney, and it was because apparently he was ALSO using this tourney to resolve his own family issues the entire time.

Anyway, I never expected for Kaiba to become such a dominant character on this show but we are going to Kaiba island. Another freakin island.

So Season 3 is apparently way different and my bro was like “we can just skip all that filler? We can skip like 20 episodes.” and I was like “That is not the point of this blog. We are watching the filler.”

Now, just FYI I’m gonna take a break for a bit between seasons, probably for about 2 weeks or so. I’m probably going to make a little buffer because life stuff will inevitably pop up and I’d hate to go too off schedule now that I know Pharaoh wears PJs in season 5. Like, I enjoy doing this blog, it’s incredibly nice to do something that isn’t art related and has zero expectations assigned to it, but it is a side project, so I gotta prep accordingly.

That being said, thanks so much y’all for reading these, and all the nice comments (which I am very bad at responding to, especially since it really feels like tumblr doesn’t...have a response ability built in). I was really only making these with bro to cheer him up when he hated his job and was quitting--and then he quit and we continued to make them because last year was pretty stressful (like I don’t talk about it here because this is a happy blog but damn I’m glad 2018 is in the trash) That other people seem to enjoy these rants was fun and unexpected. So thanks for reading and putting up with the fact we know very little about this series. Well, now I know an awful lot actually. Scary how much I know about Yugioh now. Eh.

I got a graveyard post I’ll probs put out there around next weekend, in the meantime, but, other than that...I’ll see y’all in Season 3.

And if you just got here, this is a link to read the recaps in chrono order from s1 ep 1

#yugioh #yugioh recaps #photo recaps #s2 ep48 #I did it #I did two full seasons #apparently this is the 97th post I made including season zero ps #although math is not my strong suit #yugi muto #bakura #bakura freakin died #marik ishtar #tea gardner #kaiba #seto kaiba #mokuba

59 notes · View notes

askthenewhopespeak · 6 years ago

Note

Okay I just found this blog. Get me up to speed. Who's already dead? What are the ships?

//*Cracks knuckles* Welcome. Apologies for the horrendous, outdated state of the pages that should fill you in on this, that’s all my fault, but here goes:

Canon:

-Blog canon is very close to the canon of the series, with some exceptions:

-The last… four or so? chapters of the Killer Killer manga are non-canon. Fujigawa stabbed Asano and left her in a wheelchair.

-The Danganronpa Togami novel is… weird. It’s apparently actually all a dream or the matrix or some shit in the actual book? Either way, the characters from it do exist but most of them are dead now..

-Everything else is pretty much canon. Including the brainwashing. Unfortunately.

Deaths: (Posts in which they died are linked)

-Everyone who died in canon. (They occasionally come back as ghosts, though that hasn’t been happening much lately due to mysterious circumstances.)

Season 1:

-Haiji Towa. When Makoto Naegi first reopened Hope’s Peak, Haiji tried to kill him. Makoto was saved, however Hajime Hinata made good on a promise he made that if anyone tried to restart the tragedy, he would kill them, and we are down one pedophile! Hajime ends up leaving the school immediately after.

-Kanon Nakajima (Leon Kuwata’s cousin if you haven’t read Ultra Despair Hagakure, don’t worry, it won’t matter for much longer) was infected with a lethal disease, along with 7 others, and there was only enough cure for 7 people, so Kanon decided to down a handful of sleeping pills.

-Stephanie Storm. An OC (there are a lot of those on this blog) who was the aunt of the main antagonist of Season 1, Maverick Storm (Another OC). Maverick shot and killed her, and that caused the AI she made, one that looks but does not act like Chiaki, to go haywire, essentially becoming evil and have mysterious motivations, also kickstarting the meta plot where she hijacks posts away from me. Look for either zalgo text or 1′s and 0′s replacing I’s and O’s when that happens. Anyway Stephanie really wasn’t all that important, but her creation is.

-Kazuya Togami: Adopted sibling of Byakuya’s half sister, Shinobu. Kazuya was a rapist. That’s… basically all of his character. Shinobu killed him by stomping his chest in after he kidnapped her, and everyone rejoiced.

And then we hit Season 1′s finale, where a bunch of people died:

-Suzuhiko Ootsuki: Shinobu’s other brother, whose personality was cocky hitman rapist. He was killed by a clone of Nagisa named Nine, who’s literally Izuru Kamakura 2.0

-Maverick Storm: The main antagonist of the previous season got an arrow through his eye courtesy of this season’s main antagonist. It was very much deserved, for a large, large number of reasons.

-Yasuhiro Hagakure: The first major canon character to die, Hiro, Hina, and Mahiru were trapped in a gym with Saki Maruyama (OC), a bloodthirsty mercenary working for Maverick. Maruyama tortured Mahiru, resulting in her being rendered mute, and Hiro sacrificed himself by distracting Saki long enough to let Hina get Mahiru to safety.

-Gundam Tanaka: Gundam was killed by Mutsumi Wakatsuki, an OC belonging to @shslnerdytrash. Wakatsuki gassed the infirmary, knocking everyone in it out, and killed Gundam.

-Seiko Kimura: While she was dead before the series started, Seiko was brought back as a ghost, and worked as the school’s chemistry teacher up until the Invasion, where Kamiko Hisoka, (@hopeful-blue-wanderer‘s OC) shot Jataro in the chest. Seiko then performed what’s called a “Ghost Sacrifice”, and gave up her existence to save Jataro’s life.

-Junko Enoshima: This is a two-in-one. We got a Junko from an alternate timeline pop in, where she didn’t appear to be despaired, but Fuyuhiko decided he didn’t want to take chances and shot her in the head. (I’m not linking it as it happens in the same post that Gundam dies) Then this universe’s Junko appeared as a ghost, and killed Takemichi Yukimaru (Mondo’s captive in Towa City, and leader of the Crazy Diamonds on this blog since Mondo’s been dead for a few years now). But then the Chaos!Anon (Another contributor to the meta plot) then forced her to save Yukimaru’s life, contributing his own life force to do so.

Alter Ego: AI Chiaki killed him, but he’s back now, with a brand new color scheme!

And I believe that’s everyone from Season 1. I’m sure I’ll be corrected if I’m mistaken.

Season 2

Makoto Naegi/Future!Mukuro Ikusaba: OK, technically, Naegi is alive, having been stabbed by Tsumugi Shirogane and then saved by the ghost of Mukuro Ikusaba from the future (I’ll get to that). But his current situation is… complicated and not yet fully explained on the blog.

Saki Maruyama: Saki died in a killing game set up by the group Invidia. The contestants of the game were all criminals who had escaped the law in some way, and Saki died to a random guy who was literally just a name and a crime. Out of all the characters I’ve killed off on this blog, Saki is the one I am the most dissatisfied with, in the arc I’ve probably had the least fun writing… minus potentially the Couples Games. But at least the couples games didn’t lead into a months-long hiatus, so…

Kresta Ivanov (OC): A minor villain from Season 1 who didn’t really do much, and got killed along with most of the other minor characters at the end of the killing game, as her mod left the blog.

Couples:

(I’ve seperated this into 3 categories, 2 canon characters, a canon character and an OC, and 2 OCs)

Canon Character X Canon Character:

Makoto Naegi x Kyoko Kirigiri: Kyoko believes Makoto is dead, and he has not done anything to dissuade that idea, so this couple has technichally broken up.

Toko Fukawa x Komaru Naegi: They’ve been dating for about a year and a half, and are the moms to the Warriors of Hope (Minus Monaca).

Hajime Hinata/Izuru Kamukura x Nagito Komaeda: Hajime and Nagito were dating before Hajime chose to leave Hope’s Peak and hunt down Remnants, and during that time, Izuru’s personality awoke and took over, working with Maverick for a while, until Maverick nearly killed Nagito, during which Izuru decided to save Nagito’s life and bring him to the infirmary, and Izuru’s pretty much been hanging out since (Would you try to kick him out?). They’re technically not dating, but try getting Izuru to do anything useful without Nagito asking him.

Mahiru Koizumi x Hiyoko Saionji: They’ve been dating for… I dunno, a while. I don’t really have a whole lot else to say on that.

Ryota Mitarai x Imposter-san: Neither of these two have worked up the courage to ask the other out.

Sonia Nevermind x Gundam Tanaka: They were together… but then Gundam died and that ship sank.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu x Peko Pekoyama: I’m gonna say they got married offscreen.

Akane Owari x Nekomaru Nidai: Married offscreen and Akane is currently about 4 months pregnant.

Masaru Daimon x Kotoko Utsugi: They’re dating.

Shinobu Togami x Yui Samidare: Both are interested in the other but neither has acted on it.

Mekuru Katsuragi x Misaki Asano: Same situation as Shinobu and Yui.

Canon Character x OC:

Takumi Hijirihara x Naomi Kizakura: Married, and Naomi is currently about five months pregnant.

Mikan Tsumiki x Kyoji Nakamura: Dating, and Mikan is currently about eight months pregnant

Misako Kawa x Nagisa Shingetsu: Dating.

Ryouko Otonashi x Sly: Ryouko is a clone of Junko Enoshima, and she and Sly recently ran off to join Invidia, a vigilante group that kills criminals

OC x OC:

Momo Kuzuryuu x Alyssa Storm/Satoru-Kun: A dimension-travelling nine year old has attracted both a psychopath and a ghost (both of whom are also kids). This can only end well.

Sora Hijirihara x Mitsuru Nakamura: Fankids from the future who time travelled here and ended up getting together.

Blog Lore:

The blog is set in 2020, roughly 2 years ahead of the real world’s time.

Alternate Universes: The Multiverse is a thing here, there are a few characters who come from alternate universes (Mainly the V3 kids, and an OC, Momo Kuzuryuu, an alternate universe daughter of Fuyuhiko and Mikan).

Time Travel: Five kids from the future (Sora Hijirihara, Mitsuru Nakamura, Kaede and Shuuichi Naegi, and Akio Hinata) travelled back into the past. Shuuichi came with his “Guardian Angel”, the ghost of Mukuro Ikusaba.

Ghosts and the afterlife: The Afterlife is a small town square, with a cinema to view the current happenings in the living world, and an odd, white building that leads to reincarnation. Current ghosts living at Hope’s Peak Academy are Natsumi Kuzuryuu and Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

Ghost Sacrifices: Ghosts can give up their existence to save the lives of dying humans. So far, this has happened three times, all noted up above.

Clones: In this world, the science to copy a person and recreate them exists. You wanna know the science? Ask @commander-bubbles-the-first. He’s the smart one around here. Current clones that exist are Ryouko Otonashi, a clone of Junko Enoshima, and Nine, a clone of Nagisa imbued with the abilities of Izuru Kamakura.

The Izuru Kamakura Project: Hajime Hinata was the eighth student to undergo the Izuru Kamakura project. Only one of the other eight survived.

Hope’s Peak Academy: Re-opened two years ago, with Makoto as the headmaster, it’s now just a school, no longer for the best of the best (though, it turns out that kids who come tend to have a talent of some kind anyways, go figure). The school finds itself under attack. A lot. Following Makoto’s disappearance, Byakuya Togami took over as headmaster.

Ultimate Despair: This once powerful terrorist group has now been reduced to a mere shell, with the largest ‘cell’, (if you can even call it that) being reduced to 4 people and a monster hiding in Seoul.

Invidia: A vigilante group that surfaced in April of this year, Invidia was responsible for starting a killing game full of kidnapped criminals, which was eventually shut down due to Monaca Towa and Kokichi Ouma working together, as well as Nine invading. They recently resurfaced with a bolstered membership, slaughtering their way through a prison, and are discussing whether or not to let a stoway from said prison join them.

Final note:

A lot of OCs have come and gone on this blog, some only leaving as recently as two arcs ago. It’s very likely that if you go through some older posts you will see them, but for most, their plotlines died when their characters left.

So uh, that’s a sorta kinda recap on this batshit crazy blog. Welcome! I hope I didn’t scare you off with all this.

#akirakohaku #danganronpa #ask #mod post #recap post

3 notes · View notes

missdreawrites · 7 years ago

Text

Far Cry 5, and How I Feel a Week after Beating It

@weekend-writer, here we go. Hold on to your butts.

I just recently finished Far Cry 5, and mid-way through the playthrough, someone asked if I thought it was worth the 60$ USD and I had originally said yes. Now, having completed the game, I’m rethinking that stance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sorry I bought the game for full price, but I’m definitely a bit - sad over it. So I’m going to go through the game point by point, in a somewhat blistering, disappointed review.

Obviously, beyond the cut, there are SPOILERS ahead.

Let me start this out by saying I enjoyed seventy-five percent of this game. The graphics were amazing, the outposts were all unique, the characters were priceless (fucking Hurk Jr, man, I love him so much and dude, I ran around with a bear named Cheeseburger). The music was fantastic. I loved the theme, and the battle music, and even the scary uber-Christian hymns that played on Eden’s Gate Radio.

Now, for those of you who are looking for a bit of a rundown, the game is about a Rookie Deputy Sheriff - hereby known as Rook for the rest of this review. You play the Rook who goes to Eden’s Gate, an uber Christian cult in the middle of Hope County, Montana. You, Deputy Hudson, Deputy Pratt, and a US Marshall go to arrest the leader of this cult, Joseph Seed.

Like in Far Cry 4, you have a choice in the very beginning of the game. You can choose not to arrest Joseph - though you have to loiter for ten minutes or so as your partners and boss get increasingly angry with you, but eventually the Sheriff decides you’re right, this is not a battle we want to fight, let’s just go. Credits.

However, if you actually want to play the game, you have arrest Joseph and bring him to your chopper, wherein all hell breaks loose, and you crash because of course you do. Joseph Seed tells you that arresting him was breaking the first “seal” and anyone who has watched Supernatural within the last thirteen years knows what that means.

The rest of the events in the game are not all that important to this review, only that Joseph Seed has several siblings that you have to defeat to get to him after you escape and are set loose on the region.

There’s John Seed, a torturer who has Deputy Hudson. He’s obsessed with cleansing people of their sins. There’s Jacob Seed, a war veteran who has so many PTSD issues I can’t actually list them all, and he’s a manipulator who believes the weak should be culled from the herd. He brainwashes you a la Bioshock, only he uses a song to do it. Then there’s Faith Seed, and she’s not actually related to them. She was a junkie who came to Joseph for help, and ended up helping him create Bliss, this hallucinogenic drug that stretches the bounds of reality just a bit too much.

There. Now.

You have to liberate each region (John, Jacob, and Faith respectively) in order to unlock the final confrontation with Joseph. Each region has a bar that has little bubbles on it, once reach those bubbles, those are essentially check points of “pissing off a Seed sibling” and they send Hunters out after you.

1. Mechanic I hate number the first one: the Hunting Party

So you’ve pissed off a Seed sibling! They send a Hunting Party after you. The party arrives - even if you fast travelled to a different region, or even the other side of the map. Or like me, you’re a stealthy snipery jerkface and you kill the entire party undetected as they yell about finding me and “use the Bliss Bullets, John/Jacob/Faith wants ‘em alive!”

I kill all eight of the hunting party, and breathe a sigh of relief. There are no more red markers, Boomer says no one else is around. I venture out of cover.

Blam.

Screen goes wavery, then sparkly. Then Rook falls unconscious. Despite having killed the party, or left the party or hidden, these are scripted events, so I literally can do nothing to save myself. I have to get kidnapped by the Seed sibling, for Plot Reasons.

Annoying but manageable.

2. Mechanic I hate number the second one: The Rook

Unlike in the rest of the Far Cry series, you are not a person. By which I mean, you’re not like Jason Brody or Ajay Ghale, or even Jack. You’re still the Rook, of course but you’re not voiced, you have no personality. You can be male or female, and the only person in the entire game that mentioned my gender as female was freakin’ Hurk.

Your character makes noise - when you’re hurt or falling, you grunt and groan and cry out, but you don’t talk. You don’t emote. You are just a blank canvas. What’s worse, is they didn’t bother recording two sets of dialogue like Bethesda did in Fallout 4.

So all the cultists just call you by a gender neutral sound. “Get ‘em!”/”I saw ‘em over there!”/”I got eyes on the sinner!”

Y’all. Y’all come on.

This is especially hard to stomach when the characters are spewing just the most ridiculous nonsense at you. There’s a moment after you get kidnapped by Jacob, and Joseph is there. He goes on this - truly awful and ridiculous monologue about how he used to be a different person, he was married, a baby on the way. How happy he was. Then there was an accident. His wife died, and the doctors saved the baby but the baby was sick, probably premature, and they said he had to be strong for his baby daughter.

TW: he is not strong for his baby daughter.

The rook doesn’t say a damn thing to this horrible man who admits he killed his baby daughter instead of taking care of her. The rook just watches him, from behind bars. Yo, I was livid. I was like WHAT THE FUCK YOU MURDERER HOW DARE YOU PREACH PEACE but nope. My character was totally silent.

Y’ALL.

3. Mechanic that I hate number the third one: the Ending (collectively)

WARNING: Here be spoilers. If you don’t care about me spoiling the entire ending confrontation with Joseph, keep on reading. Otherwise, feel free to skip down to the conclusion, which I’ve helpfully put in bold.

SO THE ENDING.

After you liberate each region, gather all your Roster, finish your side quests and helping each person you find, Joseph Seed contacts you - he offers to open up his compound so you two can finally have it out. Now, I’ll take this moment to say that I put it off for a bit. I ignored Joseph so I could finish side quests, and my partner, who beat the game two days before I did told me no, go do it, you won’t want to keep playing after. Why waste that time?

I was thoroughly alarmed by that statement. So even though it was almost seven in the morning and I’d stayed up all night to play it, I drove my ass to Joseph’s compound and in a mirror of the very beginning, walked up to the church.

Immediately, I am placed in a cut scene. This has happened a few times throughout the game, Whenever John Seed implored you to say “yes” to whatever tortures he wanted bestow on you, to talking with your allies. However, the length of this cutscene dragged on, until Joseph is done preaching at you.

He says he’ll give you an offer. That despite all you’ve done, despite the fact that you’ve killed his flock and family, he’s going to offer you peace. He’s going to do the “right thing” and offer you peace. You hear something behind you - still in a cutscene - and turn around to see all your friends. The roster you helped out, minus the animals, all Blissed out of their minds (as noted by the glowing cloud around their faces) and leading tied up people into the compound. They aim their guns at Deputy Pratt, Deputy Hudson and the Sheriff, all of whom have been recaptured by the people you thought were your friends. Joseph tells you if you resist, if you don’t choose peace, then you can kiss your friends goodbye.

Then you’re given the ability to choose two options: Resist or Accept.

IF YOU CHOOSE RESIST:

He knocks over some Bliss barrels, and everything gets all kinds of fucked up, and your friends attack Pratt, Hudson and the Sheriff. After you fight off Joseph for a second or two, you’re able to revive them (not a new mechanic, you can revive anyone during the rest of the game) and all four of you start fighting Joseph. You have to fight your roster as well, but once they go down, you’re able to revive them as well - which puts them back on your side. However, Joseph will also try to revive them, which leaves them your enemy.

I guess “killing them” and reviving them is like cognitive recalibration? Either way, once all your roster-friends are revived an on your side, you turn your attention to Joseph and shoot the fuck out of him. It’s real cathartic… until you beat him and are immediately locked into another cutscene.

While Joseph monologues at you, the Sheriff (your boss, essentially) comes up behind him, declares him under arrest, and handcuffs him. Joseph proclaims that another seal has broken, and then the entire screen shakes with some kind of impact. The cutscene shows you, Hudson, Pratt, and the Sheriff a giant mushroom cloud, not too far away from where you are, across the lake.

There’s a moment of shock, and Joseph declares it the end of the world, just like he predicted. He was right, and the end is upon us, etc, etc yadda.

We all run toward a car, with Joseph in tow, and then you’re given control back just long enough to drive helter skelter away from the shockwave, as shit is getting set on fire, until you’re suddenly locked in another cutscene just in time to slam into a falling tree.

The screen goes black and red, as you come to, realizing that Pratt, Hudson and the Sheriff are dead. The car door opens and you fall out, blacking back out. When you wake up again, you’re in a bunker - the same bunker you woke up in before being set loose on the county after the prologue, and who should be with you?

Joseph. Seed.

He tells you that everyone in Hope County is dead, and it’s all your fault, why couldn’t you have just picked peace? But hey, it doesn’t matter - we’re family now and one day, we’ll walk through Eden’s Gate together.

“I am your Father,” Joseph Seed says, leaning back in his seat, and staring at you with those wide eyes. “And you are my Child.” He locks eyes with you, never blinking, as the screen fades to black.

Credits.

I was in fucking shock. According to my partner who was awake on the couch and watching me play through this, I kept clicking my mouse like I was trying to pull my guns to shoot him. Why couldn’t I just shoot him?

Now, I’m willing to admit that a lot that might have been a hallucination - the cutscenes make use of the Bliss (which is hallucinogenic) a lot - even though when you aren’t in a cutscene the drug only behaves that way in the most minorest of ways. I’ve been running through fields of Bliss for ages, and all you get is weird sparkling on the corners of your screen. Sometimes you hallucinate Faith Seed, or animals that aren’t there.

However, ultimately, whether or not it was a hallucination doesn’t matter. Because the credits roll and the game is over. Hope County is gone, your friends, your allies, they’re gone. Your only companion is the man you failed to kill, the man you failed to arrest, and you’ve lost.

You lost.

So, utterly livid, I reloaded my save just before choosing Resist, and instead chose the other option.

IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT PEACE:

Joseph lets you go. He monologues a bit more, but he lets you, Hudson and Pratt, the Sheriff, he lets everyone go. You retreat to the edge of the Compound, get into the same truck you’d get into if you chose to resist, and start driving away. The Sheriff talks to you a little and ultimately what he says isn’t important, because the radio turns on, as you drive away.

Remember how I said Jacob Seed brainwashed you.... With a song?

The screen goes red as your character starts screaming, and then the screen goes black.

Roll credits.

The game is over. The last time that song played, when you did Jacob’s Region, you killed one of your allies because he brainwashed you into doing it. The entire lead up to killing Jacob is one big brainwashing suckfest, and you do things you don’t think you’re doing until it’s over.

It’s very, very clear that you’ll kill everyone in that car with you.

You lose. Everyone in that car knows how bad Joseph Seed is, they’re your survivors, your witnesses. The people who could have helped you get more manpower to come back and get rid of Joseph with more than a song and a prayer.

But you kill them. You lose.

Both of these endings mean that the ninety hours I spent playing were useless. Nothing I did mattered. Either the world fucking ends, or you murder the people you spent the whole game trying to save. Nothing you did matter, you made no difference, and you lose.

I have nothing against games where you don’t win. I have nothing against games where the ending message is you lose. I have serious issues with being plot railroaded via cutscene into endings I don’t want. Why couldn’t I shoot Joseph? I shot Faith, and Jacob and John. Clearly due process wasn’t important THEN, so why are we arresting Joseph? He’s a dangerous man who knows how to use a dangerous drug to mind control people - but yeah sure, let’s arrest him.

CONCLUSION:

Am I disappointed I bought the game? No, not really. I’m glad I played.

However, I was left with this - bad taste in my mouth, a little. The endings were lackluster, I feel like a require closure to move on with my life - especially because I beat it a week ago, and I’m still stewing over the ending.

Like the original ending of Mass Effect 3, where I was left in shock, I hope that Ubisoft hears how disappointing those endings were and gives us a miniature DLC (to go along with the three weird ones they already have) that gives us a better option.

To the anon who asked me if it was worth the 60$ USD, I originally answered your ask saying yes, because I loved the game.

I hope you see this, and note that my answer has changed. If you’re a hardcore fan of the series, like me, sure - spend the 60. But if you’re not? If you’re a casual player who just liked the idea of the plot - give it a miss, until the next Steam Summer Sale or Xbox Gold Give Away.

This is a little disjointed, I started it while I was at work and then slept before finishing it but I am free and available for any questions via ask/message system. Anon hate about loving the endings will be added to the fire and will fuel the heating for my house. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

#far cry 5 #far cry 5 spoilers #review #thoughts #SO I HEARD YOU LIKE BLISS #far cry #joseph seed #john seed #faith seed #jacob seed #the rook #shenaniganry

26 notes · View notes

lonewolfwriter94 · 7 years ago

Text

‘Your Past Will Find You’ Chapter 22 Sneak Preview

“Enough Nicholas! You’re going to kill her if you don’t stop.” Shannon cried.

The two of them had been at it for almost two hours. Waverly had stopped screaming roughly fourteen minutes ago due to her voice giving out from yelling so much. Yet, the Boss continued to torture her anyway. The silent screaming made it better for him. Knowing he burned the snarky-ness right out of the younger woman.

The brunette wouldn’t stop talking and would not stop giving snarky comments. ‘Is that the best you got? My stove gives better burns than you. Fuck, even my comebacks give better burns. If you’re trying to leave a mark, you’re doing a terrible job. I think you need to get pointers from your daughter. At least her marks sticks for around for a week.’ If only it stopped there. ‘Are you even trying? The only reason why I ask is because Nicole can make me scream louder than you and you’re legitimately burning me. Do you need pointers on this? You seem a little out depth here. I bet Nicole could do a better job than you.’

At some point, Liam and Shannon were begging Waverly to stop talking. ‘Please stop egging him on. Are you purposely pissing him off more? Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you really want to be covered in burn marks? Seriously, what is wrong with you?’

After few minutes had gone by, Waverly had finally made some movements with her head as well as softly groaning. Her body was on fire, figuratively and at this rate, might as well me literally. The clothes she was wearing were burned off a while ago, minus her bra and underwear. Nicholas was kind enough to leave her some dignity. But at this point, it didn’t matter. The brunette was in so much pain, she didn’t care anymore. Sadly, she was at the point where dying seemed like best idea anyone could offer, and it hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since she was kidnapped. At least she didn’t think so. Being knocked out and tortured for a while made her lose a sense of time. God, this utterly sucks balls.

“Finally had enough, I see.” Nicholas waited to see if the younger woman would have some kind of comeback or not and when she didn’t he continued. “Good. Now that I’ve burned some sense into you, maybe you’ll be some use for me.”

“Like... what?” Waverly choked out.

“I need my daughter here, so I need you to give her a message for me.”

“Stupidly letting me go? Not the wisest decision on your part. But I’ll take it.”

“It’s cute that you think that. But no, not a chance.” The Boss reached inside his jacket and pulled out her phone. He tapped the screen a few times and unlocked it. He smirked devilishly when he recalled the moment he figured the brunette’s password. His smirk turned into a grin when he remembered pulling out the dog tags and used the dates on them to see if Waverly was naïve enough to keep such information on her. Apparently, she was. Pulling himself from his own thoughts, Nicholas tapped on the camera app. He switched it from camera to video instantly and held the phone up, so it was showing most of Waverly’s body. “We are going to send my daughter a little message to motivate her to find you faster.

#Wayhaught WynonnaEarp

3 notes · View notes

oodlyenough · 8 years ago

Text

oodlyenough’s completely inexhaustive list of tftbl fic recs

So I mentioned the other day that because I have read Everything in the Borderlands AO3 tag, I was happy to compile a rec list.

@auraofdawn had specifically asked for Rhys/Sasha and/or gen, but I added some others. I didn’t include any of my own fics, but fwiw I’ve written a number, usually either Rhys/Sasha as the focus or gen with Rhys/Sasha in the background. You can find mine on AO3 under the pen name thirty2flavors.

I wanted to be relatively detailed in the recs, so this is by no means exhaustive even of my personal faves, but it’s a starting point. Here’s a bunch of recs for:

Rhys/Sasha

Gen

Rhys/Fiona

Rhys/Vaughn

WIPs

Rhys/Sasha fics

For Luck by pagerunner 1.4k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys and Sasha share a little private moment before heading off to face the Traveler. Or in other words: Page indulges a few more of her romantic impulses, 'cause these two deserve it. Episode 5 interlude. Notes: I love this author’s stuff and this fic is so damn cute. Great characterization, great prose, adorable missing scene.

Different Worlds by kaletra7 5k, explicit Author summary: She slides the door a little further, and Rhys sees a naked shoulder and then an expanse of fluffy, cream towel. He, very nobly, stops himself from looking too closely, because she’s not holding the towel very tightly and there’s a slit (deliberate or not) that exposes a lot of thigh. There’s something in Sasha’s face that reads like a challenge. Like she’s daring him to approach, the way a predator might wait patiently for its prey to wander curiously into its trap. “Can you come in here for a minute?” Notes: I honestly usually don’t really care for smut because it all kind of bleeds together and sounds the same, but I really liked this piece precisely because it avoids that by giving them both such vivid characterization and by using this as a way to explore their different backgrounds. Sweet and funny and sexy.

i really really really really really really like you by WoodenDuck 1.6k, teen Author’s summary: and I want you. do you want me? do you want me too? - carly rae jepsen, 2015 Notes: Adorable post-Vault first kiss fic. I think this was the first Rhys/Sasha fic I read? Endearingly awkward and believable dialogue from both of them. Plus: bonus art!

(Sasha Hates) Pet Names by melenafrey 4k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys is intent on finding a pet name for Sasha that the both of them can agree on. Sasha is skeptical that one such pet name even exists. Notes: Funny, fluffy and adorable. I like their teasing relationship in this and it’s always nice to see Rhys/Sasha from Sasha’s perspective. I think this is set in some kind of undefined non-Pandora AU.

Bad Egg by WoodenDuck 5k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys thinks about what he wants to do and who he wants to do it for while rolling around in the garbage and eating fried eggs. Set during the Episode 3 road trip. Notes: I love episode 3 road trip fic. A sweet and funny excerpt from the getting-to-know-you stage.

Gen fics

The Pieces We Hide by pagerunner 7k, teen Author’s summary: No matter how many tales they may have told during their time in captivity, Rhys and Fiona didn't tell the Stranger--or each other--everything. Now, on the eve of their mission to rescue Gortys, Rhys decides there's a few more things about going back to Atlas that he wants Fiona to know. Notes: This is probably my favourite Borderlands fic full-stop. Love this piece. Fills in canon I wanted filled in, packs an emotional punch, great characterization, and juuust a couple hints of Rhys/Sasha to make me especially psyched. Love it. Choices and Consequences by pagerunner 5.5k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys might be having second thoughts about getting those ECHO upgrades. And Vaughn might be getting nervous for a whole lot of reasons. It's time for these two to talk it through. Set pre-game, no particular spoilers. Notes: I adore this author’s writing and this is such a good take on Rhys making the questionable decision to get a bunch of cybernetics. Rhys and Vaughn are very well characterized and the prose flows so well.

Interim by MovingPen 2k, general Author’s summary: Raising the Children of Helios was no easy task. Notes: I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Rhys, Sasha and Fiona after Helios, and not much time thinking about Vaughn, and this fic did it for me. Great character study for Vaughn.

in my skin indigo blue by lucyrne 1.5k, general Author’s summary: Rhys shows off his tattoos to the group to prove that he’s cool. Takes place during the Episode 3 road trip montage. Vaughn isn’t paralyzed because I said so. Implied Rhysha, but mainly a fluffy, comedic gen fic. Notes: Hilarious group shenanigans.

The Pre-Teen’s Guide to Crime by clefairytea 6k, teen Author’s summary: “Fi?” “Mm?” “Are you happy like this?” Fiona turns to look at her, a strange look on her face. As though she’s looking at Sasha for the first time ever, and is surprised by what she sees. “I guess. I mean, I never thought about it. This is just what I am. A smart-alec who steals whatever’s not bolted down." -- Growing up on Pandora is complicated. Growing up on any planet is complicated, but Sasha thinks that most kids don’t grow up forging bank notes and running from the authorities. Notes: I literally haven’t even read this because I took one look and thought “this is going to be good, I am saving it for a rainy day” and uh haven’t gone back yet. (I like to hoard things, alright? My “marked for later” is a mess.) Plus I want to finish my own WIP fic about Sasha and Fiona before reading this But Sasha and Fiona gen!!! My girls!

Of Choices and Their Repercussions by Banji 7k, mature Author’s summary: Hyperion always gets their property back, no matter what or who it is. Alternate events where the team gets apprehended by Hyperion at the Atlas Facility after assembling Gortys (with allusions to the 'Trust Fiona' outcome). Notes: Oh my god please read the author’s tags, this piece so dark, so much body horror and medical trauma/torture. There’s a lot of body horror in the game that kind of skims by unremarked on and this dives right in there and then some and, uh, nothing gets better. Well-written and super effectively skin-crawlingly horrible, if you’re up for it.

Rhys/Fiona

things you said when you thought i was asleep by gortysproject <1k, general Author’s summary: fiona internalises everything until rhys is asleep. Notes: A good look into Fiona’s head and all the stuff she isn’t saying while she and Rhys are with the Stranger.

Winging It by Claranonn 24k, mature Author’s summary: The Company Man and Con Artist open the Vault of the Traveler thinking their journey together has come to an end. Little do they know just how tied together they're about to become... A series of dialogue-only vignettes exploring Rhys and Fiona's relationship post-game. Notes: I haven’t finished reading this yet, just read a couple chapters before putting it aside to get back to, but the dialogue is funny and I literally can’t think of a ship better suited to “fake married” than Rhys/Fiona. It’s hilarious even to think about. Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope by meltokio 5k, mature Author’s summary: A collection of complete Rhyiona garbage. Notes: It’s hard to describe but there’s an atmospheric feel to a lot of these that I like a lot. I also like the take on Fiona.

Rhys/Vaughn

Safe as anywhere by queerly_it_is 20k, explicit Author’s summary: Vaughn went through his entire first year and a half of college without going to places like this, except for maybe two or three incredibly awkward attempts to socialise in the first few weeks. He’s been just fine without trying it again since, thanks, but now here he is, for the second night this week, after the two times last week. After whole semesters of literally never leaving the campus. And why? A bright cry of, “You’re here!” flies out from behind the bar once he finally, minus a few compound fractures, reaches the front of the tidal wave of people. The words hit him a split-second before Rhys’ neon grin, and Rhys’ floppy hair, and Rhys’ shirt with the sleeve cut off around his cybernetic arm and the collar stretched down enough to show the beginnings of the tattoos on his chest, the whole handkerchief’s worth of fabric generally clinging obscenely to his body. Right. Notes: The fact that I super enjoyed reading a 20k College AU about a ship that isn’t even my favourite is a good indication of the author’s talent for writing. Really good prose, good characterization, good world-building within the AU, and for once it being a Rhys/Vaughn AU wasn’t an excuse to have no mention of Sasha and Fiona. Hooray!

Taking Back Hope by fleurdeliser, ohnoktcsk, tuesdaysgone 16k, explicit Authors’ summary: The first message comes while he’s in the middle of calibrating the laser on one of his latest guns. He ignores it until he’s done, then straightens, holding out his palm and reading the message that comes up on the holoscreen. ‘Helios remembers and so will you.’ Notes: Rhys/Vaughn is the core relationship here but the whole ensemble shows up and they’re all well written which I really appreciate. Plus kidnapping/rescuing drama, everyone’s fave!

WIPs Down the Skag Hole by ShepardCommander 6.5k, 3 chapters and counting, teen Author’s summary: Rhys and Fiona are gone. Sasha and Vaughn are not. Now the kid sister and the best friend must work together if they ever want to see their sister/friend and best friend/boyfriend(?) ever again and become that which they never thought they would or could-Vault Hunters. Notes: Love this characterization of Sasha in particular, especially immediately after Rhys and Fiona disappear. Action and emotional drama and this fic seems to have gone woefully unnoticed. Should Have Said by spectre_anon 16k, 8 chapters and counting, teen Author’s summary: He should have told her. Could have, anytime... all those opportunities he's shied away from now far beyond his reach... and here he was, hands tight around Fiona's throat while Sasha shrieked in the background. And he couldn't say anything. Couldn't let them know it wasn't him, couldn't tell them he was sorry, that he screwed up... all he could do was scream in his own head while Jack laughed. (Rhys never told Fiona and Sasha about Jack. Now he's paying the price for that mistake.) Notes: All the melodramatic Jack-takes-over-Rhys drama you could want. This is the kind of scenario that I’m more or less happy we didn’t have in the game but also totally eager to explore in fic, and this iteration was a good one. Obviously, angst and tension and melodrama ahoy. Strong characterization for everyone and I think the author does a good job of making the main cast sympathetic even if they are making some poor decisions. Oh pineapples, what have you done?

Not a Maniac by Mindful Wrath -- this one is officially discontinued 25k, 11 chapters and discontinued, rated as teen but imo probably mature Author’s summary: Rhys had expected consequences for turning down Handsome Jack's offer to rule the universe side-by-side. Just . . . not these consequences. Fiona had expected Rhys to double-cross them. Just . . . not like this. Notes: So this one is officially discontinued and I haven’t even actually finished reading all of it yet because knowing it’s discontinued means I’ve been slowly parcelling it out, but I’ve liked what I’ve read, which is maybe 3/4. This is the, uh, extra dark iteration of the “Jack controlling Rhys” ep 4 scenario, so, angst angst angst, but well-characterized gutwrenching angst. The real stand-out in this fic for me was probably the ways Sasha and Fiona were written; they don’t respond identically to things and I loved them both. Various trigger warnings, check the author’s tags on AO3.

#auraofdawn #fic recs #tales from the borderlands #valoscope #i think you were also interested in this lol

26 notes · View notes

babygirl06301 · 8 years ago

Text

Spike Analysis - “Lover’s Walk”

“Lover’s Walk,” bitches! Of the Spike-centric episodes we’ve had in the past, I wouldn’t say that this episode is the absolute, hands-down, best…but it’s pretty fucking good. Let’s start this by acknowledging that Spike is hella cute throughout this entire thing. Did you do that? Good.

So, we’ve got Spike. We’ve got Buffy. We’ve got Angel. We’ve got marshmallows and holy water grenades. I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t really know where to start with Spike’s development in this episode. I’m not going to go through it scene by scene necessarily, but I’ll try and keep you up to date with what scene I’m thinking of when I’m talking about one thing or the other.

Alright. Last we heard, Spike and Dru had left town after the whole Angelus thing. Spike said he’d never come back. Well, that didn’t fucking happen, did it? Please notice that in this episode, he said again that he wouldn’t come back to Sunnydale. Spike’s always been a shit liar, ya know? Dru’s broken up with him because he’s too soft (which…did she see him when she sired him? Sensitive as fuck, that one. Cute as hell, but still). Therefore, Spike’s back in Sunnydale. He knocks over the sign, which seems to become a recurring theme for him, and he’s drunk as shit. Of course, later in Angel, he mentions that it isn’t so easy for vampires to get drunk, so he must have been smashed. Which is, apparently, the only kind of “smashed” he’s been able to get since Dru left him.

I mentioned in the “Becoming: Part 2” analysis, and will continue to mention it numerous more times, but seeing Spike not be William the Bloody is always great. I much prefer Spike the Sensitive over Spike: Guy Who Killed Two Slayers. But this episode is like…bad. You know what I mean? Like, he’s very distraught over Dru and it’s kind of strange. Not in a bad way because I’d rather him weep and throw dolls than brood (sorry, Angelcakes).

Sidebar: that scene were Spike passes out in the outdoor area at Angel’s mansion and his hand catches on fire in the morning? Did you guys know that James did that stunt himself, but like, you’re supposed to put it out within two seconds because the protective layer (that keeps your hand from actually catching fire) will wear off? But James thought it’d be funny to let it go a bit longer, so he burnt the literal shit out of his hand, but he hid it from everyone because it was his last shot and he was afraid that, if they ever asked him back again, they wouldn’t let him do his own stunts anymore?

Anyway. So then Spike kills the shopkeeper and kidnaps Willow and Xander so Willow can do the love spell for him. That scene in the factory where Spike sort of confides in Willow is the best shit ever. Jumping a little forward here, one of the key components of Spike’s character development in this episode is that he’s interacting (again) with Buffy, but also with Willow and Angel. And by interacting, I mean that he’s not trying to kill them. Spike hadn’t really interacted with Angel in a semi-positive way before this episode. It was typically with Angelus, and otherwise, his contact with Angel was violent. I know he did threaten to kill Willow a few times, but I think his focus was more on Dru than anything else at that point. Although, I don’t think he didn’t kill anyone because “I want Dru back,” I think he didn’t kill anyone because “…nah.”

Back to Willow. Spike talking to her about Dru and how much she hurt him is ***super cute!!!*** But beyond that, Spike basically said that he’d rather die than not be with Dru. Die. Again, like I said in the previous post, Spike’s character is drenched in paradox, but a vampire’s whole goal (on a basic level) is to survive. So? But all that makes sense within the realm of his character because Dru was his first relationship. Isn’t that strange to think about? Not his first love, but his first requited love. I’m sure we all have some semblance of an idea of how people usually react when their first relationships end. Let’s keep going because, aside from being adorable, that scene doesn’t speak a whole lot to his development.

I have conflicting feelings about the situation with Joyce in the kitchen. Like, on the one hand, I don’t think Spike would kill her, but on the other, he’s still evil. I mentioned in the last post that Spike has a certain respect for mother’s (based on his past), but I’m not sure that that would affect his animalistic instinct to kill. Maybe in this episode, though, it would. Because he came back to Sunnydale to kill Angel, seemingly, but he didn’t do anything to anybody the entire time besides knocking Xander out. I think the explanation with the kitchen scene is just that Spike needed a mom. He needed someone to be on his side for a little while.

Okay, Spuffy flag on the field. Is that a good sports thing to say? I don’t care enough about athletics to try for a better one. So, we remember Buffy locking Angelus out of her house in season 2, right? Because he’s evil, blah blah. And we remember her inviting Spike into her house so they could discuss taking Angelus down. “Lover’s Walk” is the first episode in which Angel returns to Buffy’s home since he came back from whatever hell dimension he was in. And, as soon as Buffy saw him there, she invited him back in. Because the circumstances had changed. Well, excuse me, but I think after the brief truce her and Spike had, the circumstances were well fucking changed, so why didn’t she disinvite him from her house? She could’ve thought he wouldn’t come back? No. She’s never trusted Spike, why in God’s name would she think the vampire notorious for killing two Slayers would stay out of her life? She knew she could take him/he wasn’t dangerous? Bullshit. To his face, yeah, but we’ve got substantial evidence (even into seasons 6 and 7) that Buffy is afraid of William the Bloody on some level. And if nothing else, shouldn’t she have locked him out just to protect her mother?

It’s just fishy to me, that’s all I’m saying. Not that it’s inherently Spuffy, maybe she’s just lazy, but that’s all I’m saying. Let’s move onto what will come to be known as the Magic Box. We get that awesome shot of Buffy, Angel, and Spike ready to fight like hell. Including “Tabula Rasa,” this is the first of two times that Spike has been trapped in the magic shop because he pissed off a big bad (The Mayor/loan shark) and his vampire minions.

So, these three fighting together lends itself really nicely to including Spike into the Sunnydale scene. He never really did become a Scooby (minus, maybe, the months after Buffy’s death), but those few moments were sort of like an “I could get used to this” thing for the audience.

Be kind rewind here for a second: the speech. You know the one I mean. The “you’ll never be friends” speech. One of my all-time favorite things about Spike is that he’s literally always right (if it doesn’t involve himself). Here’s the thing: Spike seems to feel very comfortable in the fact that he’s a hopeless romantic. Old habits die hard, I guess, but that’s really strange. Because we can see, especially in the following season, that he hates feeling as though he’s less than a man or that he isn’t “bad” or isn’t dangerous. Anything that makes him seem weak, he hates. Now, being a romantic doesn’t imply weakness, but Buffy sure fucking thinks so. She said he was pathetic, he was a loser, whatever. I’m sure some of that was to piss him off, but I’m also sure some of that was meant to act as irony within the writing because what the fuck does she think she’s been doing with Captain Forehead over here?

Moving on from that, it’s honestly such a good bit on love. I’ve heard literally so many people say that it’s the best quote on love they’ve ever heard. For someone who’s known for being shit at poetry…

I have one last quick thing to say about The Speech, and then we’ll wrap up. I kind of love the theme the show took with Spike and the symbolism of blood (I’m referring to the “Love isn’t brains, children. It’s blood” line). I can think of at least three times within the space of the show that Spike has reiterated the importance or the purpose of blood for one reason or the other. It makes sense because he’s a vampire, but it’s more than that. It’s like it’s some holy thing that holds a lot meaning and weight, like it’s sacred to him. I guess Spike has a bit of a history of exaggerating his feelings with things, but it’s interesting.

We’ve only got a bit left here. So, we can tell that the fighting made Spike feel a lot more confident in himself. Probably Drusilla implying that he’d gone soft and then leaving him made him feel emasculated and staking a few vamps was the antidote. One thing I want to quickly point out there: it’s almost like a bit of foreshadowing for his arc with the chip, right? Like, it’s pretty obvious that as long as Spike can kill something, he’s a happy camper. Then he says that thing about torturing Dru until she likes him again. And then he says what is probably my favorite quote from this episode, other than his speech on love: “Love’s a funny thing.” The reason I love it so much is because that’s pretty much Spike’s character in a nutshell. I mean, all the things he’s done or been put through for love is pretty fucking astounding. Not to mention, this sums up basically all the Scoobies’ lives at the moment of this episode. Yeah, love’s pretty damn quirky when you catch your significant other making out with a friend’s significant other and then you fall through some stairs and get impaled with rebar.

Last thing I want to point out in this episode: Buffy breaks up with Angel (for a time, anyway). She says she can fool everyone but not herself…or Spike. All I’m sayin’ is: some things never change.

So, that’s it! A little bit longer than “Becoming: Part 2,” and I got off track a lot, but hey. I’m not exactly sure which episode I’m going to analyze next. Season 4 is very fractured when it comes to Spike. He’s got a lot of really important revelations: the chip, being attracted to Buffy (when Faith was in her body), realizing he could hurt a demon, adjusting to working with the Scoobies for money. But all that shit is in separate episodes. And I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about some of the better Spike episodes like “Something Blue” because there wasn’t really development, just some really cringy kissing noises. So, I think what I’m going to end up doing is maybe a post or two where I combine a couple episodes and talk about them and, if there’s still something left over to talk about, I’ll tack it onto whatever the last season 4 post is. Or make a bulk, season 4 post. I dunno, but I’ll figure that out later. Hope you enjoyed my rambles!

#Buffy The Vampire Slayer #spike analysis #spike and buffy #spuffy #spike from buffy #spike from angel #angel #buffy summers #angel and spike #spangel #angel and buffy #bangel #willow and xander #Xander Harris #willow rosenberg #daniel osbourne #cordelia chase #willow and oz #xander and cordelia

67 notes · View notes

dancesontheedge · 8 years ago

Text

An age and a half ago, @tavsancuk tagged me in a 10 characters in 10 fandoms meme. I am finally filling it. I have laid myself some ground rules. I will choose and present to you, in no particular order, my ten favorite male characters. I will also include explanations for my picks. I am strongly considering doing a mirror post with my ten favorite female characters with explanations. Also, some of them are coming with fic recs. Sorry not sorry. Most of those recs will route you to FFN. That, I am a little sorry about. Since this is explanation heavy, I’ll put it under a read more.

Finn (Star Wars) This fabulous man turns his back on everything he has ever been taught because he realized it was wrong. He broke more than a decade’s worth of programming to free Poe Dameron, and then he went back for Rey despite his fear of the First Order. That takes serious guts, and I have so much respect for his character.

have you heard by peradi Finn sparks a stormtrooper revolution.

Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls) Jess grew so much over the course of the series. We did not get to see most of it happening, but he went from a really messed up, angry at the world teenager to a well-adjusted and very successful adult (based on what we’ve seen). Also, though he and Rory had their issues as a couple, he was the only one of her boyfriends who she did not feel the need to change for.

Of Books and Music by once-was-serendipity. Instead of cutting off all contact with Rory when he left in season 3, Jess sent books with his margin-notes to Rory. We see him deal with all of his shit. Pay the Piper by Iscah McKrae. Immediately after Rory’s disastrous visit to Philadelphia, Shane contacts Jess to tell him they have a daughter who she wants not part of. Jess winds up taking full custody. Incomplete. Truths Universally Acknowledged by 12cubed. A Jane Austen report assigned by Mr. Medina spirals out of control as Taylor announces a Jane Austen festival. Season 2 style Rory/Jess pining. Tide and Moon by once-was-serendipity. Jess and Rory’s relationship over seasons 2 and 3 plays out a bit differently. Mostly, Jess get’s his shit together earlier. Incomplete.

Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) Over the course of the series, Zuko realized that his father was evil and everything he had been taught (by someone not-Uncle-Iroh) was either a lie or immoral. Once he finished being in denial about it, he took action, ultimately changing sides and working to atone for the wrong he had done when he still believed in his father.

Embers by Vathara. At the beginning of season 2, Zuko discovers the secret of healing fire, and then things get super AU, super fast. Lots of worldbuilding, and I swear to god this author’s a goddess. Has been described as “Atla in the style of Game of Thrones, minus the sex” Mismatched by Kimberly T. In season 1, Zuko discovers an Earth Kingdom baby with mismatched eyes. Because local superstition claims the baby is a witch-child and bad luck because of it, Zuko adopts him. This speeds his realization that everything he knows is wrong by quite a bit. Incomplete. Second Nature by lazyartisan. At the end of season 1, Zuko is captured at the North Pole. Angst ensues. Essentially, the author upped the stakes and ignored the “kids show” genre. Incomplete-ish. The author told the story she wanted to tell, but ends the story at the end of season 2 rather than resolving everything. She may eventually update again, she may not. Another Brother by AvocadoLove. Zuko was scarred much younger than in canon and is found by Chief Hakoda almost dead on a Fire Navy ship. Hakoda takes him in, and he is raised in the Southern Water Tribe alongside Sokka and Katara.

Steve Rogers (MCU) Steve Rogers’ moral compass is so on point it’s honestly terrifying. His entire morality basically boils down to “I don’t like bullies or trust the people in power not to be bullies,” and honestly that’s the kind of role model we all could use. He is uncompromising, but he’s right with an alarming consistency. And he’s genuine, which warms the cockles of my own way-too-honest heart. (It should, perhaps, be noted that this is why Benjamin Tallmadge is my favorite Turn character and that these traits are reflected in one of my most formative female characters, Keladry of Mindelen.)

Serenade by CSI Clue. Happy fic. Steve gets a girlfriend and everything is adorable. Choice is Not a Word a Bullet Knows series by bomberqueen17. Winter Soldier followup, so much poly capfam, at least one really awesome OC. A Pretty Boy with a Bird Tattoo by Kryptaria and rayvanfox. Steve/Bucky/Nat OT3, punk college AU. My favorite of their collaborative works (because Nat), but their other stuff (stucky, all of it) is super awesome too. Source Code by Closer. Steve is tired of everyone thinking he’s a robot clone or whatever the conspiracy theory of the week is. Freezer Burn series by Domenika Marzione. Comics/MCU mashup that follows a different Avenger in each of the major stories. Freezer Burn follows Steve, Thaw follows Clint, Revenant follows Nat.

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) Spencer Reid gets put through such shit by the Criminal Minds writers (and the fandom, honestly. We love to watch him suffer), but he continues to be dedicated to justice and peaceful solutions. In addition, he is one of the biggest nerds and genius’ on TV, and is generally way less obnoxious and improbable about it than others of his type. It should be noted that I am not up to date on this show, having missed almost every episode that aired while I was at University, and that I am refusing to watch the current Reid-in-prison-without-his-memory arc. Because that was a bridge too far.

Foxtrot Whiskey Bravo by Kuria Dalmatia. Reid and Elle have a friends with benefits relationship. Very unangsty for my possible Reid picks. The Comstock King’s Daughter by TheKnittingLady. Reid/OC. Reid and his date get kidnapped by an Unsub, things go better than they could. The least depressing/angsty story by this author, the story by this author requiring the fewest content/trigger warnings. This author is *very* good, but her work is pretty messed up. Writes almost exclusively Reid-centrics, usually Reid/OC. Liar by Addicted Archangel. Reid is imprisoned for a crime he did not commit. Somehow not as angsty/whumpy as the current canon storyline. Begins with his conviction, ends with his release.

Gilbert Blythe (Anne of Green Gables) Honestly, who doesn’t love Gilbert? Pining away for Anne and being generally adorable. No long winded explanation here, but can we all just take a second, think of Gilbert Blythe, and smile?

Blythe Spirit and Unromantic Ideal by Morte Rouge. The first three books of the Anne of Green Gables Series from Gilbert’s POV. I promise it’s not repetitive. Some grammar issues.

Christopher Perry/Halliwell (Charmed) This tortured soul happens to fall right in the middle of one of my favorite tropes: Time Travel. Chris travels back in time to prevent his older brother, the most powerful witch to ever live, from turning evil and taking over the world. He lost literally everyone, led the resistance, watched his brother kill his fiance, and when he went back in time was hated by the younger versions of his family for being so driven and not letting them have a life and also for breaking up his mother and father (they, of course, did not know who he was). Also, he’s a sarcastic little shit. It’s like he’s the definition of my preferred angst-button.

A Pair of Ragged Claws by cunneware. Wyatt’s most deadly assassin arrives from the future. It is revealed that she has been magically enslaved by Wyatt, and when that magic is lifted, she decides to aid Chris in his mission to prevent Wyatt from turning evil. Ultimately, it is revealed that Chris is the sisters’ son/nephew. The Last Horcrux by Stonage Woman. Crossover with Harry Potter, AU from book 6. Taking place in the original future where Wyatt is evil, with all the accompanying super-depressing things that come along with that. Harry is in his 40s, still fighting Voldemort, and essentially adopts Chris. If you would like to know where my angst-o-meter sits, this one registers at like an 8 of 10.

Edmund Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia) Edmund is generally a shit in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Nobody will argue that point with you. What’s important to me is how he grows. He decides to become worthy of Aslan’s sacrifice. He decides to live up to his sobriquet “The Just.” He acts to atone for his selfishness and live a life of service.

Harold and Morgan: Not a Romance by rthstewart. This is super a romance. Edmund got married in Narnia to a banker from the Lone Islands. It’s adorable, and I’m quite convinced she’s on the autism spectrum. The Stone Gryphon ‘verse by rthstewart. The Pevensies deal with being back in WWII England, mostly by being ridiculously badass. Not a whole ton of Edmund yet, but it’s awesome, I love everything about it, and could hardly write Narnia recs and not include it. Letting Go by Lirenel. Prince Caspian AU in which Edmund arrives separately from and substantially before his siblings because he wasn’t holding their hands at the train station. The Ledbury Run by Maddy Carr. Back in England, Edmund and Peter participate in a cross-country race and find in their path a downed German paratrooper.

Simon Tam (Firefly) Simon had it all. He had money, he had his dream career, he had parents who were pleased as punch to have him as their son. He gave it all up to rescue his sister from government experimentation and subsequently became a fugitive. He has some trouble adjusting, as you can imagine, from golden child to desperate man on the edges of society, but he never considers going back. Not once. Because his sister was more important to him than all the accolades he could earn.

Alec Hardison (Leverage) Hardison is a hardened criminal. Ish. He takes immense pride in his hacking ability and would be offended if I said he was one of the best in the business. Because he’s the best. But really, Hardison’s a soft touch. He was the one most easily convinced to join the Leverage team and use his crime powers for good. His first heist? Hacking into the Bank of Iceland to pay his Nana’s medical bills. He decided that the Leverage crew was his family, and promptly adopted them all. He’s the team-builder, the block they all built on. He provided the space, he provided the nurturing eye, he paid attention to what his team members wanted and gave it to them. Though he’s a criminal, he’s the moral center of the Leverage crew. Also he’s a giant nerd and completely hilarious.

The Justice League Job by Eatsscissors. Casefic about a stolen comic book. Hardison/Parker.

#i was tagged in a thing #favorite male characters #honorable mentions include #briar moss (tamora pierce)#ben wyatt (parks and rec)#and #benton fraser (due south)

3 notes · View notes