#minky mumbles

[peppinowhereheshouldntbe]

I could treat her right

[elleluvsjurin]

losing all my innocence in the backseat

requested

synopsis: you lose your virginity in the back of a car with your gf

pairings: g!p hanni pham x chubby fem!reader

cw: smut obvs, virginity loss, lowercase intended, non idol!hanni, reader and hanni both go to uni, reader’s friends are danielle and minji

a/n: longer fic for you bb’s <3

growing up you never had relationships with anyone, let alone sexual relationships or partners. growing up you weren’t considered “pretty” amongst the other girls in your class so you were mainly ignored until you started dating hanni, your girlfriend. you met her your junior year of high school and started dating your senior year. as if fate couldn’t bring you two any closer, you both happened to apply and got accepted to the same university so of course you guys were always with each other.

everyone knew that you were a virgin, it was really obvious..unfortunately. hanni isn’t a virgin so it’s harder to communicate with her. its not that you don’t want to have sex with hanni, you trust her 100% but you never really thought deep into it, not until your friends mentioned it.

you, minji, and danielle are sitting down in a corner of the campus cafe before minji clears her throat.

“so y/n..” she starts, you perk your ears up when she calls your name. “have you had sex yet?” she asks. your face instantly heats up and danielle gasps.

“minki..she hasn’t or she wouldn’t told us, silly!” danielle beams

“uh..no, we haven’t had sex yet. we haven’t really thought about it.” you admit. danielle pinches your cheeks and smiles.

“our baby is so innocent, it’s all on your time. i don’t want you to feel like you need to rush into it or anything.” she reassured you and scolds minji.

“it was a question!” minji says

“yeah yeah.” danielle waves her hand, “ignoring” minji

“thank you danielle..and thank you too, minji. hanni and i have a midnight hangout planned tonight so we’ll see what happens.” you say, nervously thinking about your girlfriend standing nakedly in front of you.

“have fun. i love seeing the love birds!” minji says with danielle agreeing with her. the three of you bid your goodbyes and go on about your days.

hanni comes to your room so the two of you can dressed together. both of you have private rooms but most of hanni’s things are in your room. she comes in(on the contrary to her copying your key, with your permission of course).

you’re applying your makeup when you see her walk in, she grins happily and hugs you from behind.

“you look so good.” hanni comments, making you smile

“takes one to know one, hm?” you reply and she laughs.

“i guess so.” she says, moving her hair out of her face. “you almost ready?” she asks

“mmhm, I’m doing my finishing touches.” you look at her in the mirror as you’re fixing up your hair.

“stop looking at me like that.” she mumbles softly

“like what?” you say, giving her slight doe eyes. she walks away with a flushed face and you giggle, successfully making your girlfriend blush.

“come on hanni. im officially ready.” you say, getting up from your chair and you grab your purse. she watches how your dress clings onto your body, accentuating your curves.

she grabs her keys and you two walk out to her car. you sit in the passenger seat, of course and she drives. as she drives, you softly grip her thigh and she grunts.

“y/n..what is up with you today?” she says, her accent thickening.

“what are you talking about? i can’t touch my girlfriend?” you say, innocently

“you keep on teasing me.” she admits as she continues driving, her breath hitching.

“you’re delusional.” you say. hanni pulls into an empty parking lot and stops the car.

“why are we even here?” you ask and she looks over at you, fixing the glasses on her face.

“you tell me. aren’t we supposed to be stargazing?” she says, her hands resting on your thigh with her thumb purposely rubbing it in circles.

“hanni im being serious.” you say, getting anxious as its in the middle of the night and you’re two women sitting in the middle of an empty parking lot.

“shut up.” hanni cups your face and she goes in for a kiss, you accept it of course but it catches you off guard for a moment but then you melt into the kiss. the kiss gets steamy, leaving you to grab onto her shirt, her hair, anything.

you two pull away after a couple of minutes, her face is beet red and your lips are puffy. you two sit in silence for a couple of moments before you speak up.

“hanni..I think im ready to lose my virginity.” you blurt out and she looks over at you.

“what? a-are you sure?” she stutters

“yes, im sure. i trust you with my body.” you say

“you wanna do it back here?” she says, motioning to the back of the car.

“uh sure!” you say. hanni locks the car doors, leaning her seat back as far as it could go, coaxing you to do the same.

“im gonna ask one more time. are you sure about this, y/n?” she asks

“yes, hanni pham. now show me the time of my life.” you mutter. she kisses you once more before she gives you a few commands.

“take your panties off for me.” you nod your head, pulling down your panties and handing them to her. she cheekily smiles, putting your panties into her pocket.

“i want you to relax and open your legs up. can you do that for me?” she asks, sweetly

“yes.” you mumble. glad that you wore a dress for easy access. you lean back and you open your legs for her; she eyes you like you’re her prey.

“hanni..i-im insecure.” you start to feel self conscious, as this is the first time that someone has ever seen your body. you start to close your legs and she pries them back open.

“don’t be, im here. you know i love your body from head to toe. don’t you dare close up on me, let me cherish this..you. do you understand me?” she reassures you by kissing your lips. you feel a little better but still self conscious because you’re the only one “half naked” at the moment.

“y-yes, i understand.” you say.

“im going to touch you, ok? i won’t put my finger in yet.” you nod your head, listening to her speak. she quickly finds your clit, rubbing it in figure 8 motions.

“that feel good?” she asks, feeling your breath hitch

“yes..it feels really good.” you reply and she rubs your clit a bit faster. obviously you’ve done this by yourself multiple times but it feels like a whole new experience with someone doing it for you. her fingers on your clit, alone, had your head spinning.

“you’re so wet, y/n.” she whispers in your ear, she softly kisses the side of your face while she plays with your clit.

“want your fingers.” you babble to your girlfriend and she obeys your command. she easily slides one of her fingers inside of your cunt and you groan.

“relax, open up for me.” hanni mumbles as she thrusts her finger inside of you, making you moan out

“a-ah..fuck.” she continues to thrust one finger before she adds another, making you gasp.

“holy fuck.. hanni! warn me next time.” you say, not getting too upset as her fingers feel amazing inside of you.

“yes ma’am.” she mutters as she continues thrusting her long fingers in and out, hitting at that particular spot..perfectly. you start to feel a weird feeling at the bottom of your stomach, a knot.

“i-i think im gonna cum.” you whisper, but of course your girlfriend hears you

“cum for me, cum all over my fucking fingers.” hanni encourages you, pumping her fingers in and out at a quick pace.

“o-oh hanni!” your voice trembles as you start to orgasm all over her fingers, coating them in your slick cum before she pulls her fingers out, making you suck on her fingers. you suck on her finger seductively and she groans, giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“are you ready for my cock, babe?” she asks you, sincerely and you nod your head

“yes.” she opens her door, getting the backseat, waiting for you to follow and of course, you do. luckily she has an svu so you two can fit perfectly in the back.

“lay down for me.” she whispers and you comply. you lie down, your back presses up against the car door with your legs wide open, you place one leg on the car seat, near the window next to you and you place your other leg on the drivers seat where the head of the driver goes, hanni lifts your dress up over your butt.

“that’s my good girl.” she says, pulling you into a heated kiss while you cup her face. “need you..” you mumble and she smirks into the kiss. “im all yours.” she replies

hanni doesn’t bother taking her shirt off in case you two get caught so instead she unzips her pants, purposely not pulling them down all the way as there’s not enough space. hanni didn’t wear any underwear so she pulls her cock out through the zipper part of her pants. you blush at the sight of her cock, it’s not too thick but not too skinny but it’s the perfect amount of girth for you. it’s also not too long to do damage but it’s long enough to hit all of your sweet spots.

“ready?” she asks one more time. you look down at her cock as it glistens with precum, ready to be inside of you.

“yes.” you mumble. she kisses your lips as she slowly slides her length inside of you, groaning as she opens you up. your legs slightly shaking as she bottoms out inside you. your first orgasm allowed her to slide in much easier. she stays still for a moment, giving you time to adjust to her.

“God, move…need you to move.” you whimper as she slowly thrusts into you. “f-fuck.” hanni groans, feeling your walls spasm around her.

“faster hanni, fuck.” you moan out. your girlfriend thrusts a bit faster, as she doesn’t want to hurt you. she moves her hips forward and backwards inside of you at a steady pace, looking down at you.

“you look so pretty like this..h-hah~ gonna make me cum.” she whispers as she thrusts into your cunt, forcing you to clench around her from the statement.

“you feel so good inside of me, ni..” her cock twitches at the little nickname that you gave her.

she thrusts a few more times and she starts to rub your clit leaving your body to twitch.

“want you to cum all over me.” hanni mumbles as she continues to pound you out. you back arches off of the seat up under you as you start to orgasm all over her cock.

“a-ah…almost there y/n.” hanni moans, you pull her into a kiss

“mmh- cum in me, ni~” you say into the kiss before she cums inside of your cunt, filling you to the brim.

hanni kisses your forehead before she pulls out of your leaking cunt and she smiles.

“gosh just ruin my pants, why don’t ya!” she playfully exclaims

“oh shut up.” you say, getting up and pulling down your dress, shamefully.

hanni giggles, eventually giving your underwear back to her. “did i at least show you the time of your life?” she asks

“yes, can we go to my room now?” you add

“yeah. come on.” hanni says, getting into the driver’s seat after she pulls herself together, making herself look halfway decent.

the drive is a silent drive. it’s not an uncomfortable silence but a peaceful silence. just you, your girlfriend, and the night itself. hanni holds you hand while she drives, her thumb rubbing lovingly on your hand. she eventually presses your hand up to her lips, kissing it.

“you did so good tonight.” she says as she continues driving towards the dormitory that you stay in.

“thank you. you made me feel so special, i adore you.” you say, blushing as she pulls into the parking lot of the dorms.

“of course, darling.” she pinches you cheek before she gets out of her seat to open the door for you.

it’s past 1 am when you two get back to your room. you and hanni take a shared shower where you two made love…again. the two of you didn’t go to sleep until around 3 or 4 am, knowing damn well the both of you regret each other’s actions in the morning.

[r0ttenhearts]

Words On a Screen

streamer!scaramouche x reader

angst, established relationship, no comfort, fem reader

part 2

“scara! dinner’s ready.”

you walk into his streaming room excitedly, waving a hand to the webcam as you set down his dinner on the side of his desk. “careful, it’s hot.” he mumbles a thanks as he waves you off.

you frown, the food you had worked so hard to perfect for him would go untouched for hours, you knew at this point. you walk out of the room and let out a deep sigh. he had been this way towards you for the past few weeks. you figured it was scaramouche being scaramouche, but this time he wasn’t letting up.

this time it was, different.

he had gotten distant, and not his normal distant. he avoided your gaze, slept on the very edge of the bed, flinched away from your touches that you worked so hard to get. he didn’t even sit at the same table for dinner with you anymore.

you knew something was up, and tonight was the perfect time to find out. scaramouche had a hangout planned with his streamer friends where they’d fawn over the newest games and latest streamer stats, things you didn’t pretend to be very interested in.

once scaramouche left the house with so much of a goodbye you made your way to his “office” as he called it. you sat down in his computer chair in front of his curved monitor, biting your lip at the password box.

“what could it be..”

you typed in your name, anniversary, and even his birthday. none of these registered as your last attempted came.

“archons, what the hell is this man’s password…” you mumbled to yourself before typing in the date of the day you both adopted your shared cat, minki. much to your surprise, the home screen popped up. you clasped your hands together happily, before turning your attention to his open applications.

you held your breath as you clicked open discord, quickly setting him on idle as you read the names through his dm list.

your eye caught the name of a familiar green haired girl who had met scara a few times at his local meet and greets. “haypasia? what could they possibly be talking about..”

you clicked open their dm to be greeted with obscene photos and texts. your eyes widened as you put a hand against your mouth, choking back a sob as you read the messages between them.

your eyes watered the more you scrolled up.

it had been going on for the past year? how long had he been hiding this from you? you trusted him, so you never thought he’d betray you in this way. you angrily scrolled back down to the current day, reading the earlier messages.

you scoffed. your grip tightening on his mouse as you let out a scream. your cat jumped at the sudden loud noise, scurrying off as you held your face in your hands as angry tears slipped down your cheeks.

he played you for a fool, and you stupidly believed he had loved you. had he ever loved you? even before moving in together? you didn’t know, and you didn’t care to question him as you went to your shared bedroom, packing up your belongings in a backpack and a duffel bag.

you couldn’t bear to part with your cat so you took him with you, safely putting him in his carrier in the backseat of your car. you didn’t have anywhere to go, no plans, much less of a heavy income to fall back on. scaramouche’s streaming career helped with most of the bills. but you didn’t care. you couldn’t sleep next to a man that had lied, cheated, and betrayed you for another night.

your eyes burned as you leaned your forehead against your steering wheel, sobbing as you took it in. scaramouche probably wouldn’t care for your absence anyway. you were just helping him speed up what was coming.

you pondered if haypasia was the only one, she couldn’t be right? surely a man like that couldn’t be satisfied with just two, he’d have to have more, right?

you shook your head, reaching in your pocket for your phone. you tapped on kazuha’s contact, pressing your cold phone to your ear.

“hey (y/n)! what’s up!”

“kazu.. can i come over..?” you choked out, feeling the pain in your heart multiply.

“of course, i’ll be here waiting.”

you drove over to kazuha’s house, carrier in hand, as you sobbed on his front doorstep. he welcomed you in with a hug as you retold him the events that had occurred for the past few hours. kazuha tenderly listened to you, eventually handing you a cup of coffee to relieve your throat of your sobs and screams.

you spent the night in kazuha’s house, sleeping in his guest room as your phone was blown up with messages from none other than scaramouche.

[brrrkdslek]

BLING BLING～

🂱 moments of ateez' 9th member, m/n, atinys specifically adore!

🂱 ateez x gn! 9th member! reader

🂱 wrote this at 1am LMFAOO

clip 1 ― m/n before stage!!!

"heyyy, i'm getting ready to go onstage~" you set your phone down and step backwards for a few steps before doing a little twirl in your black suit, as if it was a skirt. "what event are you doing?" you read out a question, "ah, i was actually picked to be a pianist for the orchestra. it's gonna be my turn soon so i need to practice the piece."

you pull out your laptop and began to play robeats on it, confusing the atinys. "yes, i am practicing right now." you turn your laptop to show them your screen, "it's flight of the bumblebee, so i'm technically practicing!" atinys booed in your comments as you bursh out laughing, "alright, fine! i'll be fine anyways!"

clip 2 ― san gets scolded by m/n noona

"okay so i am working on the designs for the new comeback and i'm so excited to show you guys soon!" you squealed in delight as san tried to open the plastic box, blinking at it when it didn't budge.

"also the colours are- san, move the drinks or you'll knock them down." he groaned while trying to pry the box open, almost pulling a muscle. "i'm hungry san, what's taking so long?" you rest your cheek on your hand as you scroll on your phone.

"san for the last time, move the drinks or they'll-" as if on cue, san successfully pries the box open. the consequence was that the dumplings inside flew out at how violently he pried it, along with the two cans of drinks that spilled on the ground, staining the carpet in the process.

you toss your phone onto the table and rubbed your temple in frustration. "hyung-" "come here." san immediately turn around and stuck his ass in your direction, the comments coming in twice as fast as it did. you smacked his ass harshly, "i told you to move the drinks, didn't i?"

"sorry..." he mumbled sadly, "i know, but now we'll starve until tomorrow afternoon." you laid back against the chair and cried internally, san sitting back down and leaning onto you your shoulder.

clip 3 ― burning hot noona

you washed the dishes with your phone propped above the sink, chatting with the atinys. "ah, yes. i did contribute in the costuming for guerrilla and halazia, it was really challenging as..."

atinys watched wooyoung walk into the kitchen and grab a coke from the fridge before wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your cheek, pulling away with a loud 'chuu'. atinys squealed at the adorable interaction in the comments.

"yah, i'm older than you woo." you smiled despite your playful tone, "aw, that's right. m/n noona!" the two giggled before wooyoung reached to wash his hands in the sink, screaming loudly when the water hit his hands.

"AHH, WHY IS IT SO HOT!?" wooyoung cried as he gripped and blew air onto his reddening hand. jongho could be heard snickering in the background, "don't you know our noona uses boiling hot water to wash dishes?" you frowned, "yeah, cause it washes the oil off easily."

you turn the water off and grab a few ice cubes from the freezer, placing them into wooyoung's hands and kissing his cheek. "aww, sorry jagi..." he licked your cheek before dashing into the living room , "YAH JUNG WOOYOUNG!"

clip 4 ― message to my lovely members! &lt;3

you sat idly in the hotel room as you watched the number of viewers rise up, recognising seonghwa's disguise account. a notification popped up as you read it, 'minki pinki: we are watching ur live from hyung's phone, miss u!'

you smiled, "hey, my atinys! did you guys miss me? i missed you so much!" you hug your plush tightly against your chest as you read all the nice and loving comments from your fans.

"i also hope my members are doing fine without me!" you fixed some things on your desk before reading out some comments, "you must be worried since you're the big sister of the group," you giggled, "when will you guys stop making me the big sister? at least, make me a man again!"

"well, i think i am worried. i mean i miss them so much, and i hate to admit but it's really lonely without them here. yeah, filming is fun and all but it'd be way more fun if i had my members with me right now."

"also, i left some homemade slushies in the fridge for my dear members! please have some, i know you guys are working hard!" a notification sounds from your phone, 'staff: scene 29 in three hours so you should get ready.' you sighed, "well, i gotta go now. love you!"

©BRRRKDSLEK 2023

[aettuddae]

funky — chapter 66.

➵ synopsis: aeri takes her members to a music festival to introduce them to her newly made friend, jeon minki, the front person of a popular rock band in south korea. after seeing minki, karina, aespa's leader, becomes completely starstruck with the rockstar, and decides to find a way to make them fall in love with her, even though minki is the most clueless person in the universe.

masterlist | prev | next

[half written chapter]

"so..." the people in the back of the car were engaged in conversation. "did you kiss somi?" said yunjin curiously.

"yes." admitted aeri with a shy smile.

"so what's up? are you guys a thing now?" yizhuo popped in excitedly.

"i guess." replied the girl in a whisper, trying to hide her blush. "i mean, she just invited me on a date tomorrow." she specified after taking a breath and calming her nervousness.

"minki, how does it feel like that your best friend is going to be your sister-in-law?" minjeong addressed them.

"you go, girl!" they exclaimed with a big smile on their face, to which the girls squealed, copying their excitement. "you both deserve to be happy with someone who treats you well." they added with sincerity.

"aw, i love you, boo." aeri blew a kiss to the rearview mirror to make sure they saw her.

"and i, you, boo." they pretended to catch their friend's flying kiss and dropped it on their cheek.

jimin, right next to minki, was admiring this whole interaction full of tenderness. she loved seeing her friend happy and surrounded by people who loved her, and then there was how it made her mind churn to see the person she liked smiling and so cheerful.

it felt like she was finally in the presence of the minki she was supposed to meet when she returned from the united states.

minki moved their gaze from the road for just a second, but it was time enough to find the girl in the passenger seat smiling as she looked at them. they could also see her put on a serious expression the moment she realized she was caught.

the rest of the ride continued with small talk between the girls in the back, while the two in the front tried to completely ignore each other's existence.

"we've arrived." announced the one driving as they parked outside the building where the aespa dormitories were located.

yizhuo, minjeong and aeri started to grab their things, but before they got out of the car, jimin spoke up.

"you guys go first, i want to talk to minki."

and everyone in that car tensed up at such words.

"sure..." rambled aeri, thinking. "yeah..." she mumbled out again. "come on, yunjin." she ordered, this time sure of what to do.

"huh?" the girl looked at them confused. "but... i don't live here."

"do you want grape juice?" offered yizhuo trying to act as normal as possible.

"i don't know," the girl was totally puzzled. "do i want grape juice?"

"yes you do, let's go." minjeong took her hand and started dragging her out of the vehicle.

"min-ah, i'm going to get some grape juice, but i'll be right back, okay?" she warned her friend. "you two..." she analyzed the people who would be left in there. "don't kill each other meanwhile." she warned and left with the others.

after the other girls left, only jimin and minki were left in the vehicle, silence reigning.

neither dared to speak to the other, until the younger girl's voice was heard.

"i think we need to clear up a couple of things." she blurted out.

minki just nodded. they didn't know what to say, the tension was killing them, and the truth was they were too bad at showing their feelings, so they waited for her to speak first.

"jaemin and i don't have anything, he's gay and has a boyfriend." she picked up again the topic they had left earlier at the party. "the pictures..." she took a breath of air to calm her anger and the nerves from being there alone with them. "we were talking about how happy we were at that moment. he was telling me about jeno, his boyfriend, and i," she thought about whether she should say the following, but she really had nothing to lose. "i was happy because you showed up in my life." she revealed. "we were drunk and mellow, so we hugged, and that's it."

minki took a moment of silence to take in what they were discovering. but really, it was just them thinking about what an idiot they were.

"so," the girl spoke up again to break the silence. "how did that end up in you fucking your band mate?"

for a moment, minki even thought they could cry while thinking how poorly they acted with this girl. but after that question, they got upset again.

"i'm not fucking my band mate." they stated.

"it sure looks like you are." jimin contradicted.

"i saw you with someone else and thought it was obvious that the moment someone more interesting, attractive, or whatever, came along, i stopped being what you wanted." they confessed bitterly. "and i thought it was my fault because i allowed someone to have the chance to make me feel that way."

"well, that's a problem that could've been fixed through talking and not blocking anyone." she raised her hands showing obviousness. "but how did you end up fucking your band mate? i don't get that part." the black haired girl brought a finger to her chin, tapping it gently, pretending to think.

"rosé made me feel chosen." they said simply. "and i was hurt, i had the wrong perception of you at the time. it just happened." they finished.

"oh, so, it just happened!" jimin made quotation marks as she remarked on the last sentence. "great, it makes me feel excellent to know that the thing that's been hurting me for the past few days just happened." she assured angrily.

"you made me feel like shit and she made me feel like i would never have to go through something like that because of her!" they developed further.

"and yet you swear there's nothing going on between you." she mentioned incredulously.

"there isn't." they said again. "it happened only once because i doubted you, but at the end of the day, you're the one that i want."

"well, buddy, you won't have me until i'm sure you won't doubt me anymore." she unfastened her seat belt. "and until i know i can stop doubting you." she opened the door next to her.

"then, the roles have turned around." minki pointed out.

"what are you talking about now?" she complained, putting a leg outside.

"now i'm the one who has to win you over." they replied with a playful grin.

"win me over again, mind you." stressed the younger girl, getting completely out of the car.

"won't you give me my goodnight kiss?" they said in a fun way before jimin closed the door.

"no, you still smell like rosé." she made a disgusted expression and finally closed the car.

[box-of-chaooos]

Dcfdtl headcannons, I love them very much

Bruce

Bruce loves comics, those super hero action comics that all the boys read he loves them.

He loves getting messy, playing in mud, finding bugs rolling down hills and baking.

He likes baking, cookies, cupcakes he loves it and has fun doing so he feels in control of himself when he’s baking and independent which they all like to feel.

He does not like water on his head he can’t stand it which makes washing his hair very hard for him.

Stims by shaking his fists and shaking his head a lot.

His favourite texture is silk and he likes to run his hands over it for sensory times.

Alessandra

The big sister of the group

She likes martial arts but father doesn’t let her do it.

The bow she wears is from her baby toy that father threw away, saying it was to childish for her so she now wears the ribbon.

She takes alot of pride in her hair it’s a big part of her self esteem so she takes forever brushing it and washing it.

She loves the smell of mallow and vanilla

She likes to stim by humming and playing with her hair spinning it through her fingers.

Constance

She’s nonverbal when not with her siblings, she won’t speak unless with them and so when ever apart she mostly signs instead!

She loves to knit her favourite texture is soft cotton so she loves making things from cotton wool she makes blankets and scarfs for them all.

She stims by clapping her hands and fist shaking.

She had to sleep with the door closed she has a sort of fear that someone will watch her sleep otherwise.

When she sleeps she likes to be smushed in the middle and all snug and cozy.

She loves loves loves Christmas because the cozy feeling and lights she loves them.

She’s very neat and tidy and likes things to be organised.

Lenny

His helmet is a sensory thing, not only does it hide scars from father but it blocks out noise and light and he likes the gentle pressure on his head.

His favourite texture is minky he adores it and has a blanket made of it that he often curls in when having a meltdown.

He’s the most prone to meltdowns out of them all, the next is Bruce.

He loves to play in the mud and find bugs with Bruce.

He’s closest with David often seeking him out when he’s upset or in the middle of a meltdown.

He stims by hand flapping and giggling, you’ll often find him giggling happily over nothing but feeling pleased.

He also repeats phrases he’s heard mumbling them to himself repeatedly.

He loves to sing and finds music soothing.

Has a fascination with newts and salamanders, he thinks their funny lil things that are awesome in so many ways.

He sucks his thumb when he sleeps hence his need for braces and headgear.

David

Davids bangs cover his eyes so he doesn’t have to make eye contact, father says it’s rude not to when you talk but he can’t do it so he grew his hair out so no one can tell.

He loves faux fur like faux fur coats and such finding the weight and feeling amazing.

He has a weighted blanket.

He stims by fiddling with his hands and repeating words someone’s said, like if someone says Tuesday, he’ll repeat it to himself quietly. Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday.

He loves to play piano and often plays for Lenny.

He doesn’t like bright lights in his eyes which his bangs also help out with but bright flashy lights give him sensory overload.

He’s prone to going nonverbal when meltdowns occur.

He likes to do Alexandra’s hair for her and Constance too.

He loves rainy days and gloomy weather finding it most peaceful that way.

All

They all love to draw and doodle, coming up with drawings of weapons and them destroying the knd.

They all like the smell of lavender and use a mist on their pillow at night.

All of them are on the spectrum and help one another with all their meltdowns and listen to each others rambles.

[thr34t2sanity]

I am thinking of making a part two to this so we’ll see how it goes. Also this is my second time writing smut so if you have ANY tips or if something needs to be edited go head and leave me a comment. I don’t feel like editing. Boo editing. Also these photos are the inspiration for what Mingi’s hair looks like. I know what you’re thinking: “Bro those are 2 different hair styles…” I CANT CHOSE U CHOSE.

Cheer up, Mingi! Pt 1 (?)

Content: SMUT, college au, FWB, foreplay, daddy! kink, multiple orgasms

Pairing: Dom! Mingi X fem sub reader

Summary: You told him to study for the upcoming exam, but he told you not to worry because: “I got this.” Long story short, the only thing Song Mingi got was a 58%. He has been sulking all day and you’ve decided you had enough. Your goal by the end of the night is to him happy. Mission mingimpossible is a go!

You sigh loudly as you approach Mingi at the university’s cafe tables. He was slumped over with his face burried into his arms. However, you did not need to see his face to know that his (already sad-puppy-dog) eyes were glossed over with disappointment.

“Mingi,” you try gently. “ I got you some watermelon punch.” He doesn’t even twitch. “Mingi. Meeeangi. Minki. Minki mouse. Meeeeeeaaan-“

“Shut up.” His muffled voice had cut you off, but he finally shifts his head towards you. “Thank you for the drink, now go away.” You frown, resting your hand on his shoulder.

“How can I go away when I just spent $6 on a drink for an ungrateful dick, who might not even drink it anways because he is a bad friend.” You reply, crossing your arms with a little hmph and turning your back so it rested against the table. You didn’t really care about the drink though. You would buy him a million drinks if he would just perk up a little; but you knew that if you pretend to be upset, it would make him feel bad.

You watch him sit up from the corner of your eye. He looks at you and you turn your head the opposite way in protest before letting out another little hmph. He sighs but begrudingly grabs the cup and takes a sip. It was extremely good, just like how he knew it would be. Problem being that it would ruin his plans of sulking for the rest of the day. Who can be sad while drinking subak hwachae ?

“Thank you,” he mumbles quietly.

“You are so welcome, my bratty little princess.” He cracks a smile, but doesn’t reply as he mindlessly attempts to finish his drink. “So…” You start slowly. “How bad was it?” He groans loudly, letting his head lean back until his forhead was facing the sky. It is at times like this when you are reminded of just how good-looking your friend Mingi was.

When you realize that you had been admiring him for a beat too long, you quickly try to move on. “That bad huh? Well I got an 89% which is not bad, but it’s definitely bringing down my avergage. Which is unforunate.”

“I got a 58%.” You let out an audible gasp before spinning around in your seat. You stare at him in disbelief. “He also left little notes on my exam- he fucking asked me if college was the ‘right path for me.’’ He said exasperated. “Shit,” he groans slumping back down into his arms. “This really sucks.”

You place your hand on his back rubbing gently. You felt really bad for Mingi, even though he definitely should’ve of studied. Mr. Yun was an old asshole who was known for making his exams unnecessarily hard. Mingi’s class, specifically, was a lot harder than yours because he was in associtional statistical analysis, unlike you who chose predictive analysis. You questioned him on this choice, but he said it aligned a lot more withh his major and skills.

“You poor baby,” you say resting your head on his shoulder. An idea pops into your mind and you sit up giving, him a wide smile. “How about you come over later? My roommate is gone for the week visiting family. We will have the house all to ourselves and we can buy some mint choco icecream, and do a movie marathon, or anything else you want.”

The last sentence catches his atttention. “Anything I want?” He wonders out loud. You rest your head on the table, your faces only a few inches a part, and smile.

“Anything.” You reassure him, patting his arm lightly. “Just stop, whatever this is.”

He smirks a little. “Okay, just make sure you don’t go back on your word.” HUH? You think, but he doesn’t give you any room to discern what he meant just now as he quickly sits up. “When is your last class?”

‘Uhhh.. my last class ends at 4:30 today.”

“Okay I’ll meet you here.” He gets up without another word leaving you to ponder over what he meant by not going back on your words. After a moment you decide to brush it off, unusual behavior is not unsual for Song Mingi anyways.

Just as promised, you walk up to find Mingi patiently waiting for you at the cafe tables. “Alright,” he claps. “Let’s go the convience store. I’ll buy the snacks since you’re being so good to me.” You beam at him, noticing that he already seemed to lose the gloomy attitude.

“Lead the way, Monkey.” He gives you dirty look but turns to start walking to the convience store with you.

You huff in annoyance setting down the fourth and last bag of snacks Mingi bought, you get the mint chocolatee icecream out and making a bowl for you both. As you make your way to the living room to join Mingi, you balance the icecream in one arm so you can smack him in the head. “Hey what the hell?” He says looking at you as if you were crazy.

“You bought all those snacks and I had to carry all those bags the entire 15 min walk back, you dickhead.” Mingi pouts, rubbing the back of his head.

“I thought you said we would do anything I wanted, you’re a liar.” You roll your eyes as you finally figured what he meant by don’t go back on your words.

“Nobodied lied. I carried all those bags didn’t I, Princess?” He smiles cheekily, batting his lashes at you.

“Thank youuu.” He sing songs.

“Yeah, whatever,” you grumble. You sit his icecream down on the coffee table in front of you and join him on the floor, ironically a few feet away from your sofa. “What are we watching.”

“Grave Of The Fireflies,” he replies nonchalantly. You snap your head to look at him shock. Absolutely not. Grave Of The Fireflies is one of the most depressing films you had ever seen in your 20 years of living. That movie has never failed to make you cry like a bitch and Mingi knows that. Although, he has never watched it with you.

“Oh no we are not.” You scoffed. “Pick something else.” You say while settting your icecream next to his on the table. Knowing Mingi, it’s going to be an argument and you are prepared to him on this.

“No. I want to watch Grave Of The Fireflies.” He attempts to click on the movie, but you jump for the remote. You grasp it and try to yank it out of his hands but he tugs it right back towards his chest. Effectively yanking you towards him, but you yank it right back. You guys go on tussling for a second before you decide to jump on him. Once he realized that you were going to get the upper hand, he flips your positions. Your back hit the floor, both your arms pinned by his hands, and you’re left staring up at a now out of breath Mingi with his chain dangling above your face.

Both of you freeze in place, breathing heavily while taking in the each others dishevealed appearance. You find your eyes wanting to wander and that’s when you snapback into reality. What are you doing? You ask yourself.

“Get of me, you giant.” You say as you playfully push at his chest which barely nudges him, but he gets off. He stands up and offers you his hand and you take it. After being hoisted up by his strong arm, you go sit on the couch fixing your hair and trying to compose yourself. Unfortunately for you, Mingi sits dangerously close to you and leans his head on your shoulder.

“Here.” He says in defeat. “You can choose since you are violent.” You roll your eyes but take the remote from his hands and he sits up, making you feel a pang of disappointment. What is wrong with me? Get it together.

“How about we watch Mean Girls?” He groans. “What?”

“I have watched that movie so many times with my mom and, weirdly enough, with San too. In fact, I do not even know many tims San and Wooyoung made me watch this movie with them.” You snort out a laugh. San was literally too cute. “How about we watch this movie.” He points at the screen.

You give him a deadpanned look. “Mingi, how am I supposed to know what you are pointing at?” He gives you an embarrassed smile and you couldn’t help but laugh at his cute face a little bit. “Here- choose it.” You watch curiously as he scrolls and chooses a movie with Justin Timberlake on the poster. Friends With Benefits? “This is what you want to watch?” You eye him, trying to hide your suspicions.

“Yeah have you seen it? It’s pretty good.” Mingi doesn’t even glance at you as he presses play. He just grabs a throw pillow and gets comfortable on the couch with his eyes glued to the screen. You have never seen this movie, but that title- plus whatever just happened a couple of minutes ago- sets you on edge. You glance down at the now somewhat melted icecream, almost forgetting it sat in front of you. You grab both bowls and hand Mingi his before following his lead and settliing down into the couch.

A quarter way into the movie, Justin Timberlake is going on a spiel about how people should have sex like tennis when he suddenly propositions Mila Kunis. You lean forward a bit, interested in their exchange. Oddly enough what he was saying was making a lot of sense to you, but you were aware that feeling beget logic everytime. You feel Mingi shift as well and you turn your head to ask him to spoil the movie a bit, obviously expecting him to be in position he was a moment ago. Instead he is dangerously close to your face.

“Min-“ You’re cut off by him pressing his lips to yours. You don’t move, shocked by the feeling of him moving his mouth against yours in a way that can only be described as tantalizing. He brushes his tongue against your lips, begging for enterance to your mouth. When you don’t comply fast enough, he squeezes your boob roughly which makes you let a noise somewhere in between a gasps and moan. With new found opportunity, he explores your mouth his tongue and you finally catch up with him.

You two kissing sloppily. Neither of you caring about the drool that drips inbetween you everytime you shift your heads. “Fuck.” You hear him mumble before you are swept up into his lap. You can feel his bulge pressed against your clothed pussy and it made you feel as if someone had lit a fire in your stomach.

Meanwhile, Mingi’s lips have found their way to your neck as his hands press you down on his growing print. You let out a whine and begin to grind your hips into his. You wrap your arms around his neck, needing to feel his lips on your again. You’re mess in his arms- hips moving according to his every want. He reaches for your shirt and that takes you out of the trance.

You stop his hands from lifting your shirt even further. This causes him to look up at you in confusion. “Mingi…” You trailed off. “I think we should stop here.” He raised both eyebrows, then leans in so close that his lips brush against yours as he speaks.

“I could’ve sworn we said that we would do anything that I wanted...” You suck in a sharp breath, you were turned on out of your mind. “And right now…. I decided that I want to do you.” He leans back, placing both arms behind his head. “But if that’s not what you want, we can stop here.” When you don’t move, he smirks at you. “That means you’re free to climb off my dick if that’s what you want beautiful.”

You swallow hard. Fuck it. Your hands reach them hem of your top and pull your shirt over your head. Your shiver as your bare chest is met by Mingi’s desire filled eyes. You almost feel embarassed but he removes one hand from behind his head and grasps a hand full of your boob. “No bra?” He questions you with a smile.

“Obviously,” you bite back. He rolls your nipple between his fingers in retaliation, causing you to whimper softly.

“I’m beginning to think you invited me here with the goal of fucking me.” He laughs lightly. His eyes admiring the way your bare breast fit in his hands. He had a handful but there was quite a lot of boob left to for him to grab. He licked his lips, mesmerized by how your skin glowed with the light of the forgotten movie you guys were watching.

“As if, you’re the one who came here with the intention of fucking me. I was just to oblivious to notice.” You begin to move your hips again, desperately chasing that burning feeling in your stomach that has spread to your now aching pussy.

“Who told you that?” Mingi ask, but you can tell that you had hit the nail right on the head from the way he was smiling at you. You raise your eyebrows at him and he laughs. “You got me.” Suddenly your underneath him, his chain hanging over face just like it had earlier. Damn, has he always smelled this fucking good? You think. But you’re pulled out of your thoughts by Mingi pulling down the loose sweats you hand warn that day.

He gets right to it, pressing kisses to your inner thighs. At this point, you are thanking the heavens that you decided to wear a cute pair of boxers today. You make eye contact with him and you start to feel dizzy. His eyes were glued to yours and that alone made you lose the ability to form thoughts. You break eye contact realizing that you would definitely orgasm prematurely if he kept looking at you like this. He places a firm kiss directly over your clothes clit, before sucking on it through the fabric of your underwear.

“Mingi,” you moan. He stops and you lift your head to look at him wondering why he stopped.

“I don’t want you to call me Mingi right now.” You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “I need you to call me Daddy, baby. Can you do that for me? Mhmm pretty girl?” He says looking at you from underneath his eyelashes. You nod afraid to speak because if you did, you would tell him you would do anything if it meant that he would keep looking at you like that with those beautiful eyes of his. He was killing you.

“Yes I can, Daddy.” You reply, the words feeling foreign on your lips, but it satisfied Mingi.

“Good girl.” He says happily. He manuvers your underwear to the side and presses kisses against your enterance. The lewd sounds making your toes curl.“You’re already this wet for me baby. Guess I’ll have to help my baby out.” He pulls you firmly up against his mouth and begins using his tonge to stroke in and out of you.

You let out a loud string of moans mixed in with the breathless call of “Daddy,” egging him on and Mingi is quite literally eating it up. The movements of his tongue become more rough with every moan. He was only using his tongue but his nose repeatedly bumps against your clit everytime he moves his tongue in you. Your fingers find their way into his hair, tugging on it and making him moan. This sends you over the edge. You climax- hard.

“Daddy,” you whimper softly. You were struggling to breathe by this point. Soft whines escaping your mouth wih every exhale. However, you aren’t given much time to recover. Mingi sits up, grabbing you and sitting back so you’re straddling him again. You can feel your pussy dripping all over his baggy orange pants.

“Oh baby,” he cooes. “You’re making a mess all over Daddy’s pants right now.” He places hands between your bare pussy and his bulging crotch to finger you a bit. You squirm against his hand, still very sensitive after cumming on his tongue. Either this fact hadn’t dawned on Mingi or simply he didn’t care as he stroked your pussy ruthlessly. He presses two fingers against a certain spot and you jolt unable to take the sudden spike in pleasure. “Look at that…” He smirks at you.

Without warning, Mingi began to continously presses his fingers against your g-spot all the while firmly pressing your bare breast against his chest. Your nipples rub against the fabric of his shirt turning you on more. “Daddy, fuck, right there.” You could feel him twitching against you as you move your hips to match the thrust of his fingers. He added two more fingers, stretching you out further. He then skillfully presses his thumb firmerly against your clit as he moves his fingers. In seconds, you’re coming again.

You bury face into his neck, taking in deep breath. “Are you alright baby?” He whispers in your ear, pressing a soft kiss to the skin behind it. You nod, unable to do much else. “Good because I’m not done with you yet.”

Pt 2 🫶🏽

[starguk-seoulstars]

@pillowxtalk

Han shook his head at the first question, didn't answer the second, and nodded at the last. He was too exhausted, both physically and mentally. "Cuddles please," he mumbles into the couch more than to Minki.

[tzuyuscloud]

Virtual Reality (smau)

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

05. company

Competition season is approaching slowly, which means Haseul harps on everyone to be in bed by 10 the latest and up at 9am to practice. Though tonight the team had a break the next day and was able to freely stay up and sleep in the next morning.

Hanni and Danielle decided to have a sleepover, inviting Kazuha, Ning Ning and Eunchae, while Yeojin went to KWNG dorm to chill with Hyeju and Gowon.

Hyein and Haerin also decided to come back to the base once they heard Eunchae was gonna be there claiming they had “big kid stuff to discuss” whatever that meant.

They all gathered in the living room with a bunch of blankets, snacks and drinks playing Mario Kart 8, filling the base with endless giggling and screaming.

You knew that Minji wasn’t gonna come out of her room so you stood in front of her room with two popsicles before knocking because you were in love nice.

“hmm?” she answered as she opened the door, standing in the doorway with her hair falling down her back, glasses on the brim of her nose, baby blue pajama set and a confused look on her small round face.

“I thought you could use some company?” you said lifting up the blue popsicle towards her as she took it.

“Sure come on!” she smiled, letting you in the room. You looked around realizing you never saw her room before. It was modern and neat besides the few posters that hung on the wall, the small neatly decorated vinyl shelf, the little library in the corner topped off with a loveseat. Her tv which played a cartoon of a blue and orange dog and her desk that had looked to be occupied as her IPad and sketchbook were open and on.

“were you in the middle of drawing?” you asked her as she scurried to find the remote and turn the tv off.

“oh haha yeah, just some doodles” she laughed.

“what were you watching?” you asked as you took a seat on the couch, watching as she places the remote down on her dresser. “oh um just a show, kinda embarrassing” she whispered.

“Its okay” you giggled reassuring her.

“i was watching Bluey…I love Bluey. Its my comfort show” she mumbled, her cheeks turning red as she went back to her desk.

She then picked up her sketchbook and showed you a drawing.

“See I drew them as a human family. This is Bingo, this is Bluey and this is their parents” she smiled her big gummy smile causing your heart to throb. You could listen to her talk about Bluey all day if it meant you’d hear her voice.

“That’s really good, Minki” you smiled at her as she looked up from the nickname. “Minki?” she asked.

You said nothing but nodded at her, leaving her to her thoughts and drawings. You watched as her tongue poked out while she was concentrating on her sketch, between her long wavy hair falling in her face, her glasses sitting on the brim of her nose and the cute blue pajamas you wish you could just give the older girl a hug and never let her go.

“You’re so cute” you mumbled out loud without realizing it until Minji’s head snap your way, eyes wide as her popsicle dripped down her hand.

“what did you say?”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Summary: You were scouted to be on a pro esports team when you started to find yourself falling for the leader, Minji as well as Hanni. Leaving you in difficult situations that eventually effect your performances. As Minji starts being harder on you, you can’t help but lean on Hanni for support, but deep down you wonder if any of them feel the same way you feel for them.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Tags

@yyeonmis @slowlyturninggay291 @haerout @dmndtears @mightymyo @yerisdumbass @lesleepyyy

[fknmoonmoon]

Christmas Eve at the Bradshaws

Warnings: cussing on Christmas, sorry

________________________________________________________ 

Bradley’s ears perked up at a distinctive pattern of footsteps stomping down the hall. There was no pitter patter of little feet in this house, not even when she was small and just learning to move. His daughter stomped. His father in law called her Thunderfoot; if she followed in his footsteps, he would absolutely make it her callsign.

He stuck his head out from the office. “What are you doing?”

She was arranging herself on the couch, stuffed elephant in hand and her tablet in the other. “Gonna wait up for Santa.”

“I don’t think he comes to the house ’til you’re asleep, nugget.”

She shook her head. “Uncle Jake said he saw him one time when he stayed up all night ’n I stayed up all night that one time when I was sick.”

He slid into the hallway and shut the office door, careful not to to let her see the Barbie playhouse he’d been trying to put together for two hours (the PowerWheels truck in the garage had taken only twenty minutes, he would remind his wife forever). “I think Uncle Jake was telling you a story.” He sat down next to her, tucking her up under the minky blanket.

She shook her head again. “He said he pretended to be asleep and he saw him only he didn’t have a chimney like we do so he used a magic key and he went in the front door and his sack was huuuuuuge and-” 

Bradley snorted. “I’m sure it was, honey. I think you should go back to bed, though, just to be safe. We don’t want Santa to skip us.”

“Daaaaaad,” she whined. “I’ll be so still and quiet he won’t know I’m awake I swear! I swear.” She crossed her finger over the center of her chest solemnly. He sighed.

“Honey…”

“Pleeeeeeeease, Dad?” She looked at him with her mother’s puppy dog eyes, dammit.

“Alright.”

“Yessssss.” She pumped her fist and snuggled deeper under her blanket.

“But if he doesn’t come,” he warned. “You get mad at Uncle Jake, not me, ok?”

She laughed, but threw out her hand when he got to his feet. “No, stay with me!”

He leaned down to tuck her back in and kiss her forehead. “I gotta finish up some work in the office, but I promise I’ll come sit with you when I’m done.”

“You promise?” He held out his pinky for her to hook her tiny one through. “Ok.” 

Back in the office, he texted Seresin. “When my five year old is still awake at two in the morning I’m gonna let her FaceTime you, dickhead.” Hangman just replied with a Santa hat emoji and a wink.

Three hours - three. hours. - later, the playhouse was finally finished. He cracked the door to the office again, snuck a peek out at the couch. Her tablet was on the floor, and her head was jammed in between her pillow and the cushion. He smirked. She slept with her mouth wide open, just like him. 

He delicately, silently, arranged her presents in the corner of the room, along with a special note from “Santa” telling her about her last surprise in the garage. His back ached and he could feel a headache coming on from focusing on all the tiny little screws. He knew her happy little shrieks would be worth it though.

When he finally eased himself into bed, his wife sighed and reached out for him. “All done?”

“I’m getting myself deployed next year,” he said. “You can deal with all that shit.”

She chuckled, moved his hand to her ever-growing stomach. “Maybe this one will just want crayons or something.”

“Yeah, to color the wall, just like her sister,” he mumbled, sleep pulling at him. “Speaking of, she’s sleeping on the couch.”

“Jake told her she could wait up for Santa,” she said softly, a smile in her voice.

“Fucking Seresin, he grumbled. “Gonna have to fuck with him when he has kids.” But she started to scratch her fingers through his hair, and soon he was as dead asleep as his daughter.

[pluttskutt]

Lemon Tree Lane

Event: Summerfest @writeblrsummerfest

Prompt: Write your minky (or other character!) as they ENCOUNTER SOMETHING SHINY HANGING IN THE TREE outside of Lemon Tree Lane. Tell us what YOUR character finds! This will be an ongoing challenge! Every day, we’re going to see a little bit more of Lizzy’s story and get a new Lemon Tree Lane prompt. Let’s explore the haunted house together!

This is it, Saga thinks and breathes in deeply. It's ironic how she can still do that. Her cold exhale leaves her lungs in a cloud of smoke. One last look of her surroundings before she leaves—hopefully forever.

An old oak tree loams a few steps away. It reminds her of the one by the cottage in the woods. Just as that tree, this one has a hidden treasure that twinkles in the sun.

"Really?" Saga mumbles for herself, squinting to see it better. Walking over doesn't take a lot but she thinks she's seen it before once upon a dream. A memory she can try to reach but not hold as it slips out of her grasp and vanishes into the dark.

Hanging from a branch with a twine knotted around it, a silver key dangles in the air. It's big with an unusual pattern. What looks to be a wave stands out in a bumpy pattern at the top.

"Okay... thanks, Time." She holds the key to her chest with both hands. "Let this one take me home."

[pillowxtalk]

2, 6, 8 and 13 for Minki!! — Jangmi @clubwnderland

Sleep-related headcanons!

2. Does your muse find it easier to sleep in a warmer room or a cooler room?

I would say it depends on how warm or cold it is outside. If it's hot outside he prefers a cooler room and if it's cold outside he prefers a cooler room. But because he grew up in warm Australia he prefers cooler rooms.

6. Does your muse snore? Do they sleep talk or make any other sounds in their sleep?

No, he doesn't snore, but sometimes he mumbles in his sleep. You can't always understand him though. And sometimes he also makes cute noises while sleeping.

8. Does your muse typically prefer sleeping by themselves or do they prefer the comfort of having another person in the room with them

He lived in the dorm with others for several years so he is used to having another person in the room with him. But he is also glad he has his own room in the new dorm now. He will always be willing to share a bed with someone though especially his significant other.

[wonjaelgc]

minki's right. the only thing wonjae can look forward to at this point is sleep. a good rest. it's really the only thing he wants, honestly. he sighs and nods his head, turning his attention back to the doll. it's cute – and maybe he should get one of these for himself. he's never been a big doll person, but the thought of owning one isn't so bad. he'd remembered his older brother once holding onto a doll. would he have liked that too?

"is my favourite animal that important?" wonjae asks, but judging from minki's reaction – he thinks that it is. "uh..." he pauses for a moment, thinking about it, seriously. he doesn't want minki to think that he's teasing him – because he's clearly not. he's just new to this, all of this, really.

"a raccoon? or a koala? do they make one of those?" he asks, tilting his head to the side. "you know, now that i think about it, it would've been helpful if i had one of those guys last night... might have absorbed some of the sound from the pans..." he mumbles to himself, but loud enough for minki to hear. "if you've got a koala one, i think i'd like it. do i have to give it a name too? people... do that right?" he asks, genuinely curious.

unexpectedly, wonjae is going along with the conversation—properly addressing the doll like it's another living creature. sometimes, when minki really needs it to be, he can delude himself into thinking it's one. he can remember a few instances when he talked to his collection like they can respond to him, back in school he would even vent to them about the day. it probably wasn't as healthy a coping mechanism, but he had very limited options. it'd be funny if real life was like toy story though.

"hey, don't say that. think positively!" as much as minki is insisting on this, it's not like the eyebags he's sporting makes him look convincing. it might even seem like sarcasm to most people. "you'll definitely survive this... the day may feel long but it'll end... and then we can get a much more fullfilling goodnight's sleep?" he's laughing again, this time more dry than the last.

minki blinks then, surprised at wonjae's response. "you've never had one? at all?" huh. maybe that's the norm, minki isn't sure. then again, his father wasn't particularly welcomed to the idea of minki collecting dolls either, but his mother was supportive of the idea so it never became a big deal. and when tragedy striked, minki already collected so many he can't just throw them out anyway.

"that should change. i'll get you your first one." and this, he means. "what's your favourite animal?" he asks, clearly an important question.

[unfortunate-development]

i (sort-of) successfully made a purple ball, hooray

[h0neyjaehyun]

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞

- date - unknown

"You have such a weak heart for them lately." He chuckled as he fixed Chenle's blanket then sat next to him moving his gaze towards his sister.

"But that only means one thing..." his voice went raspy and deep looking at Talia with a curious yet knowing gaze.

"You're going to leave soon."

Talia stiffened a little, not totally surprised he figured out why she has been more kind recently than cold, letting them in a little than pushing them away, wanting to make sweet lasting memories as to a cold front.

"Of course, not right now...but that doesn’t mean much later." He smirked rubbing his bottom lip with his finger observing her.

"This happy family won’t last after all." Talia knew what he was aiming for. He wanted her to feel terrible on what she was doing, acting kind then leaving them, crushing the hope they had into little peices of memories. Guilt tripping, not like he actually cared about their feelings, as he made it very clear, after he met all of them having a private dinner with her speaking his opinions on them. She lowered her gaze at him.

"But my question is...will you leave me behind as well?" He asked leaning forward setting his elbows on his knees peering at Talia. ‘ah’ realization hit, this was the insecurity that was causing this tantrum. Her stance kept the same, keeping quiet, never wavering.

"How far will you go? Will you take me.... or disappear?" He questioned her, he knows she doesn't know herself, if so, she would have acted on it.

"You know, you've been having this distant stare, looking far out into the world only made me more curious and the boys too ya know." He pointed out which didn't get much reaction from her as expected.

"One of the boys had the courage to come up to me and ask me 'Is she planning to leave us?' ". He sighed out mimcking the tone he remembered, looking at Tali who was a little taken back and he smirked a little......success

"I took him to get a drink and told him I had no idea." He explained nodding his head looking at the direction of said boy. Tali followed his gaze to the boy clinging on to her already in his sleep.

Haechan.

She pursued her lips and gave her brother a glare. Which he smiled to.

"Then he had a little bit too much to drink and confessed that ever since what? 2017? He was afraid you will go somewhere out of his reach, man even had nightmares about it." He snickered at Haechan pitifully.

"You know at that point I thought he was asking for your hand in marriage." He laughed out. Tali couldn't say anything, she knew she wouldn't stay in Nct the whole time like the rest, she already knew and told the company when she first debut that something will probably happen to make that decision and the time has come.

She is a little disappointed it came so soon. She really loves them...but her trust has been broken and that was her number 1, trust above all.

"You love and adore them Talia...why leave?" Her brother questioned her in a mocking way cocking his head the side. Talia sighed and looked at her brother with unreadable expression.

"I loved Han....and I left him, he betrayed my trust.... what the hell makes you think I'm that weak to love, I am not my father." She said sternly having an intense gaze. Miguel narrowed his eyes at her, he thought for a second.... trauma, fools for love, fear of turning into our father, how pitiful.

"What about Minki?" Her body tensed while her gaze became more shaken.

"What about him?" She mumbled, Miguel smirked loving her reaction, he's having fun.

"Oh, you know......you loved him......so much to the point I thought you would choose him over me and yet he left you." He slightly shook his head as if he was disappointed, smiling slightly. Talia's hands clenched while glaring at her brother, she hated this side of him, with a burning passion she wanted him to go away, he was like that little voice in her head that wouldn’t stop, that. wouldn't just shut up.

"Miguel, shut u-"

"WHY SHOULD I? HUH?" He raised his voice slamming his hands on the table waking most of the boys up with Talia being unfazed.

"Ha, what a lame reaction." He chuckled, he seemed frustrated.

"What the hell is your problem."

"ARE YOU GONNA RUN AWAY FROM ME AGAIN HUH?" He yelled at her with frustration written all over his face while Talia looked at him with only a glare.

"Hey hey calm down now-" Taeyong tried to interfere but no avail.

"No, you said you were gonna stay-"

"I never said that." She interrupted him giving him a dirty look. The boys looked at her wide eyed, one feeling came up......fear.

"And I wasn’t the one who left first YOU DID! Not me, you. YOU LEFT FOR YOUR DREAM FIRST, WHEN I ASKED YOU TO STAY LONGER!" She got up pointing at him.

"YOU LEFT FIRST AND I WAS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T LOOK BACK." There was silence, the guys had no idea what was happening but all they could really get was Talia leaving which made them scared, anxious.

"Your job was to stay Miguel. They are different, they can leave me whenever the fuck they want, I never expected them to stay with me through thick and thin but with you I did. Cause you are my brother, I didn't expect you to visit me every time you have a day off, give me affection, listen to my worries, your only job was to stay in my life......and you failed that."

Migeul stayed silent, the whole room was still. Something has been revealed about their relationship that they know they shouldn't know.

"Talia-"

"Yes I was selfish..." Miguel started looking down clenching his hands together.

"But would you really choose me over Minki?" There was a deafing silence, the boys were speechless. They knew nothing that was happening but when they looked at Talia who have a sad but surprised expression with anger also written all over it. She clenched her jaw gave her brother a look of hatred. What they were witnessing was something that scared them.

“Why are you ask-”

“BEACUSE YOU KEEP AVOIDING THE DAMN QUESION?!” He screamed out. 

“I don’t know.” She calmly spoke out, small drops of tears rolling down her face as she felt a warm hand grab hers, she slowly looked to see Haechan. She bit her lip as tears started flowing.

“So, you would choose him.” Miguel's voice went deep with anger obviously coming from him. Tali quickly turned to him with a confused expression looking at her brother with a stone face shooting glares at her.

“I never said that-”

“You didn’t have to.” He quicky said as a tear slowly rolled down, and slowly they started building up. He knew in the back of his mind that Talia would choose Minki over him. He realized this long ago with Minki still being there. Instead of her crying to him about her problems she would go to him. He always made sure she was on top of his list but it felt like she never did that for him. It felt like he was always her second choice when they promised to be each other’s number one. He always resented Minki for that but couldn’t at the same time as he made his sister happy. 

“I would always choose you, I can’t even choose anymore. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?” Talia finally yelled out. Miguel chuckled wiping the tears. 

“You can choose though.” He smiled, but not the sweet smile he gives her, it was menacing. She knew what he was talking about. She yanked her had out of Haechan’s grasp.

“Are you kidding me? There’s no good reason, for making believe that we could ever exist again.” She yelled at him, making him roll his eyes scoffing. 

“oh pl-”

“ITS NOT THE SAME, they are two different people! I can’t be his friend anymore, I can’t be his lover, he can’t hold me back from loving someone else cause he’s not there anymore!” She screamed at him which made him a little wide eyed, not the fact she yelled but the words.

“You know Miguel, I don’t know whose more in denial about his death you or me? But right now, it’s really looking like it’s you.” She stated, everything went quiet as he looked down at his sister. More or else in both physically and in general. Always looked down on how she couldn’t get over her first love, but maybe in reality it was him who couldn’t get over his death.

“What is happening?” Taeyong asked feeling really left out, same with the rest of the boys.

"If theres nothing more I’m leaving, being in the same room with you right is suffocating." She waved him off about to turn to go to her room but instead Haechan grabbed a hold on her.

She looked back with a blank face, Haechan tried to reason with her but what he got in return was an icy stare as he couldn’t even get a word out yet. It was different from the one before, the one before it was kind and sweet the one, one that he would bathe in, but this cold stare made him back away immediately, just thinking about it made him shiver.

"Let go."

"Wha-"

"I. Said. Let. Go. Lee Donghyuck." She said sternly. He let go cowering back. She looked at her brother who had an amused smile but not to her but to himself. She gave him one last dirty look.

"You are a piece of shit Miguel." She said coldly, she grabbed her jacket and phone and without telling them where she's going, she left out the door. Chenle was about to go after her, but Miguel grabbed his arm and shook his head.

"Well nice seeing you all, lets meet again." He smiled innocently quickly grabbing his stuff as he wanted to talk to her.

"Wait." Taeyong called out to him, which he turned with a calm expression. Not an expression you would have after an argument, that face reminds them of Talia no doubt.

"Sorry to ruin your sweet moment I couldn't myself but provoke her but as you saw it backfired on me." He chuckled in such a playful charming manner which baffled the guys. It was so different from the face that was a couple seconds ago that was taunting his sister.

They stood back in disbelief of what they witnessed. Just what kind of relationship did they have? All they saw playful and sweet siblings who were there for each other....this is different.

Something twisted

[mollymauk-teafleak]

I can't believe what I've found (chapter four)

I cannot apologise for how late this chapter is, work's been a nightmare lately and I just haven't had writing in me. But I have two incredible beta readers who keep me going, thank you @nb-fearne and @minky-for-short!

Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment over on Ao3!

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The release day for Caleb's book is set and, honestly, he feels like he's falling apart.

Until he realises he isn't the only one.

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“Caleb? Everything okay there?”

Caleb jumped with the guilt of a student caught on his phone in the middle of class. And with good reason, seeing as he was a grown man who’d been caught on his phone in the middle of a meeting with the head of the company who published his books.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, shoving his phone in one of his deepest pockets so he wouldn’t be tempted, “I’m listening. I promise.”

But the guilt eased slightly when Percy just smiled. Because he wasn’t just the head of the publishing company, after all. He was one of Caleb’s oldest friends, his ex boyfriend, the only person still in his life who’d known him before. He wouldn’t tell him off, not really, but Caleb felt bad all the same.

“Is it Mollymauk?” Percy hummed, attempting a casual air but there was a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

Caleb felt his cheeks warm up, hoping he could blame it on Percy’s office having the heating cranked up. Which it did, for the benefit of the two tiny quarter elf girls currently napping, Joey in her father’s arms and Lainey in Caleb’s. Another reason he should be keeping his eyes off his phone.

“Yes,” he mumbled, “He texts me if he has an idea for the book out of hours.”

“Very helpful,” Percy’s tone was still light and conversational, he pretended to be more focused on the papers spread across his desk but he was losing the fight to that bemused smirk, “Does he, ah, text you often?”

Caleb squirmed, “Well. No, because we’re usually working together so…what’s that look for?”

“What look?” Percy hummed innocently, shifting his daughter carefully in his arms so he could reach over and type some things from the papers into some spreadsheet probably. There was absolutely a look on his face.

“Did you ask me here just to see your daughters and for you to smirk?” Caleb sighed, deciding he needed to steer away from this conversation.

“Only partially,” Percy flashed him a smile, shifting Joey so she settled against his shoulder as she began to grizzle softly, “I do have actual business reason for bringing you all the way down here and then all the way up here.”

Caleb had expected as much. Percy rarely asked him up into the offices, knowing both that his friend attracted a lot of attention in the de Rolo building and that he could just drop by the apartment if he had something he needed to say. But he’d woken up to a day where Mollymauk was busy with a technical rehearsal at the theatre and a message from Percy asking if he was free for a meeting early in the afternoon which, of course, Caleb was. By the time he had his slippers on, a notification came up saying it had been scheduled, Percy’s secretary being ruthlessly efficient as always. She’d have to be, the de Rolo Company ran about fifteen different businesses at once and the man himself would, at this hour, either be putting a clock back together or changing diapers or possibly both.

Caleb was glad to have something to do with his afternoon. Without Mollymauk, his apartment felt strangely empty, more than a little too quiet. He’d eaten breakfast, not noticing how much easier that action was than it had seemed a few months before, he’d tried to make himself write for the few hours he had before needing to go but it just hadn’t felt right. He’d left his laptop with a few fitful lines he’d likely delete when he returned, unable to get in the right headspace in this suddenly silent place, suddenly alone when he hadn’t noticed before. Almost like he’d been afraid to.

So he was glad to be sitting across from his friend, in Percy’s warm, bright office with it’s huge windows to look out over the city and it’s cute babies who’d snuggle into him to sleep and snore adorably. He was just glad to be around people.

It was rather strange.

Caleb used his free hand to take a quick sip of the mug of coffee Percy had handed him as soon as he’d walked in, “Yeah?”

“I thought with you and Molly working so well through the art of the book, we could firm up a release date,” Percy hummed.

And just like that, Caleb’s stomach knotted. His fingertips felt numb and he had the unpleasant sensation of weightlessness as a deep terror took hold, a wrenching, desperate sense of no, I don’t want this. In an instant, he was free falling.

“A release date?” he croaked, his voice sounding to him like it came from too far away.

Percy was fortunately too preoccupied with the fact that his little daughter had just burped in his ear at the same moment, pulling a funny face at her before continuing without realisation of Caleb’s distress, “Molly’s making fantastic progress, he’s ready to move on to just doing the full, finished pages and of course the text is ready to go. You’re only a little ways off having a fully fledged book which means we can get it out there.”

Caleb swallowed hard, still trying to find a way to stop himself spiralling, making himself nod.

As usual, what exactly was upsetting him so much was a tangled mix of things he already didn’t want to think about, sorting it out was like trying to tease out strands of barbed wire. The idea of having such a personal piece of him sent out into the world for criticism and scrutiny, the final complete answer as to whether he’d been right to do this or not, the questions that would then be left- where did he go after it was done? Would it actually help? What was left for him if it didn't?

And, undeniable and as confusing as the rest, the idea that Mollymauk would no longer have a concrete, contractual reason to be in his life. And that thought was terrifying.

He hugged Lainey closer to his chest, making sure it wasn’t tight enough to hurt, as though his body thought she must be in freefall too and he had to keep her close as they spiralled together.

“So maybe tomorrow when you’re back into it, ask him for a generous estimate on how long the final drafts might take, we’ll factor in the time to get them approved and printed and we’ll pick a date around then,” Percy finally glanced over, his brow instantly creasing, “Caleb? Is everything alright?”

“Of course,” Caleb answered too quickly, too loudly and to a man who knew him far too well to believe it.

Percy stood, making his daughter squeak at the sudden movement, coming around to Caleb’s side of the desk. He perched against it, offering Caleb his hand, “Hey?”

Some part of Caleb still wanted to stay tight and close within himself, terrified of bringing anyone else into this storm he was only barely keeping contained. But that part was overshadowed by the same strong if unfamiliar drive that had gotten him out of the apartment that morning, this new need to be around other people. So he took Percy’s hand.

Percy’s fingers were rough and calloused, betraying the life he’d lived before he’d worn expensive suits and sat in such an expansive office with a creche in one corner for when his husband had a dance class. But they were familiar and held firm, making Caleb think of stressful nights before exams and homesickness hitting in the middle of the night, times when that firm grip, bridging the distance between their dorm beds, had been what held him fast.

“We can push it back if you need to,” Percy bounced Joey lightly, though his focus was on Caleb, “Whatever is best for your mental health, nothing we’ve done so far can’t be paused or even overturned, it’s never too late. But…if you want my opinion?”

Caleb knew he was asking so he nodded, putting the tight, stabilising grip he needed onto Percy’s hand rather than the squishy baby tucked into his other arm.

“I know this will be hard for you,” his friend’s voice lowered, giving no complaint to the tight grip on his hand, “But what you’ll put out into the world is so important. And I really do fully believe that it will be worth it.”

Caleb bit his lip and nodded again, surprising himself with how much he believed it, how sincere his agreement actually was. It would be hard but it would be worth it.

And through the fog of it all, Jester’s words came back to him. Just after the book comes out.

Maybe the end of their professional relationship wasn’t something to be scared of. Maybe it would make room for something else.

Percy’s voice had grown hopeful and a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth, “What’s that face? I don’t know that one so well.”

The shakes and strange cold feeling in his fingers had begun to ebb while he was focused on holding Percy’s hand, he just hadn’t noticed. The breath Caleb took was easier that he’d expected and he even managed to smile. He’d hit the crest of one wave, now ready for it to set him back down and move away. Another one would come, of course, they always did. But he’d weathered this one, at least.

Willingly leaving his apartment. Wanting to see people. Believing Percy when he told him it would be hard but worth it. Having hope for the future.

“It’s been a very strange day so far,” Caleb admitted, smiling wryly.

There was nothing like releasing a new book to make you feel like a bad writer. Putting words on a page became the least of your priorities.

Caleb knew that which was why he’d never had one of his mystery novels ready to go without starting work on another one. It wasn’t exactly hard, he just had to dive into the rolodex of nightmares he always kept at the back of his mind and pluck out something he felt he could build a plot around. By the time Percy was sending him congratulation emails, Veth was sending back outlines for Caleb’s next novel.

So, unable to bear being without a task, Caleb had been trying to work on something light while Molly did his part for the picture book. Just a simple 800 pager, smallest trim size, mass produced to be kept in a jacket pocket on a long flight or a quick lunch in the park. He’d been thinking something more psychological, something about having a recurring dream leech into the main character’s waking life until there was no escape. Something dark and deeply unsettling, something that crawled under the skin.

Something he knew what it actually felt like to live in. Easy peasy.

But trying was the operative word. Not for the first time, when he came back from his meeting with Percy, he sat in front of his laptop with a mug of coffee and reflected miserably that everything he’d written was complete shit. So shit, nonsensical and forced and meandering, that he wanted to just delete the whole lot of it and throw his laptop in a volcano.

He idly scratched Frumpkin behind the ears as the panic began to build. For Caleb, writer’s block wasn’t just writer’s block, the way that so many things that should be simple weren’t simple for him. It wasn’t just writer’s block, it was a flock of panicked questions. What if he could never write another word? What if he’d peaked? How would he pay his bills now he was a washed up hack of an author? Would the sales from the other books be enough to keep the lights on? And now how was he supposed to release the tap on all the bile and darkness that lived inside him, would it just build and build until he broke again?

Who would he hurt this time?

Caleb dragged both his hands across his face. Spiralling twice in one day. And he’d thought he was doing so much better lately.

Frumpkin made a lilting noise, his pink noise pointed up at his master and his eyes blinking curiously as if wondering what was upsetting him.

“I wish I knew,” Caleb sighed, untangling one hand from his hair and going back to gently stroking his cat’s ears, hoping it would soothe him the way it always had since he was young, “It’s okay. Tomorrow will be easier. It will.”

Frumpkin flicked his tail and blinked slowly.

Caleb frowned, “No. Not because Mollymauk will be here. Why would you say that?”

The cat trilled sharply.

“I…I know you didn’t say it exactly. You know what I mean. Shut up. It’s not because of that anyway, I don’t need Mollymauk to write. I just…I’m not trying hard enough.”

Frumpkin huffed, settling his head on crossed paws and closing his eyes.

Caleb’s frown deepened and his coffee tasted suddenly sour on his tongue. He dragged his laptop closer, trying to convince himself that the sudden adrenaline spiking through his nerves and sickening his stomach was inspiration and not panic. He just wasn’t trying hard enough. That was all.

It was a little like tightrope walking or pruning a bush with poisonous thorns or tiptoeing around a slumbering lion that would wake at the slightest footfall and lash out with a knife-filled paw. In any case, something that required such careful, cautious treading at risk of painful disaster.

Third person, always third person, that cognitive dissonance was his balance beam or his gardening gloves or his lion tamer's whip, whatever metaphor he was using at the time. It wasn’t him living these horrors, it was a crash test dummy he’d hung a flimsy costume on, given a fake name and a story that went on beyond page one but could be brutally ended by page 800 without him feeling bad. It was all happening to a protagonist, someone relatable and redeemable and you could root for. And that certainly wasn’t Caleb Widogast.

He could take parts of his own story and make them someone else's and when it was safely stitched into that other narrative, he could sit back and pretend he didn’t recognise it. He could but sometimes it was so, so delicate.

But the afternoon was winding down and if he went another day without significant progress on this thing, he was going to be in danger of scraping up against deadlines. Not by anyone else’s metrics, of course, but he’d never been even remotely late on anything before. There was the date on his contract and then there was the date two weeks earlier he set in his own head, in the infuriating way he did. Veth would never mind, Percy would never mind but it would still feel like he’d failed.

So Caleb just needed to write. He needed words on the page and he couldn’t care too much about where they came from. He took a long swig of his coffee, thinking vaguely how it wasn’t nearly as good as at Cad’s cafe, and made himself sit up. Write. Just write. Stop being bad at the only thing you know how to do.

His hapless protagonist had just bolted up in bed, dragging himself out of a nightmare to enjoy a few moments of blessed relief before he realised it had followed him into the waking world. Easy enough. Caleb’s fingers began hammering on the keys, picking up from where he left off last and trying not to think about how much he hated the words before it. He sketched it out vaguely, grounded it loosely in a place, before filling it in. Rather like Mollymauk did with his art, he supposed. Pencil then watercolour, bringing it to life. Though he didn’t have much hope that this would be as beautiful.

His breaths were raw and painful in his chest but he was glad of them. It was his reminder that he was alive and, more importantly, he was awake. Pain was never so sharp like this in a dream and that was all he needed to know.

Frumpkin lifted his head again, maybe looking for petting, maybe sensing something that worried him. But Caleb’s eyes didn’t even flicker down to him, locked on the screen, finally slipping into that trance he’d been striving for. Whether it would produce anything worthwhile was another matter but he could at least feel productive.

So Aaron held as still as he could, eyes screwed shut, and counted his own painful breaths, trying not to let the dark room around him into his mind just yet. For now, just the drag and scrape in his throat and the burn in his chest. Deal with that and then let the rest of the world in.

Finally he felt ready to open his eyes. And wished to the gods that he hadn’t.

There was fire burning at the bottom of his walls.

Caleb’s fingers slipped off the keys like they were suddenly repelling his touch. Fire. Where had that come from? Over ten books now and he’d never once…

It didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. Whatever was working, he had to cling to it with both hands.

As if they had been waiting on his notice, the flames began to climb the walls, devouring the cheap motel paper and thin plaster. They roared, louder than Aaron could have believed, louder than he’d ever thought one sound could be. His nerves screamed in answer, panic tearing through them. One thought, babbled so frantically it overlapped on itself into a cacophony. Get out!

Caleb swallowed hard. He needed another gulp of coffee but his hands didn’t seem to want to stop. It was getting warmer in his apartment, oppressively so. He’d turn down the heat when he took a break, if he took a break.

He ran to the door, nearly losing his feet in his panic but managing to keep them enough to slam into it, hoping against hope. But of course it was locked and now he was just closer to the flames, enough to feel their heat. Not even touching them and it hurt, it was too much. But there was no escape, no way out. The flames grew as they fed, sucking the air from his lungs, a painful, all consuming greed.

Careful, a voice in the back of his head warned him, too quiet to break into the story. Careful, Frumpkin’s large, round eyes warned him but he was out of his master’s view.

No escape. But still he fought, unable to accept his death but unable to stop it. He knew if he turned around, he’d see the entire room behind him overtaken by the fire. The whole world would be nothing more than the fire, nothing else left. He was the last thing left to be eaten and burned away to nothing and all he could do was listen to it come, too scared to look.

And he deserved it. It was his turn.

“Caleb?”

The voice was so sudden, so unfamiliar, it was the shove he needed to pull him out. With a strangled cry, he shoved his laptop back, almost enough to send it off his writing desk. But a hand caught it, closed it with a firm, definitive snap. A twin to that hand, differently decorated, went to rest against Caleb’s head but froze.

“Caleb, is it okay if I touch you?”

He forced the nod he wanted to make through his seizing muscles. That hand came to cradle the back of his head, a gentle, steady presence against his tremors. The other reached down and took one of his hands, threading cool, adorned fingers through his own.

“Easy, Caleb. You’re okay. Everything’s okay, I promise.”

“Mollymauk?”

“That’s right,” the watercolours finally filled in the sketches and he was aware of his friend kneeling by him, eyes wide and worried, “Just breathe, okay? That’s all you need to do right now.”

Happy to have the decision taken out of his hands, he just did as he was prompted, filling his lungs and letting it go until he believed that there would always be another. He felt Mollymauk’s grip on him, grounding, not easing at all even when he felt in control again, waiting for his permission. Caleb brought his hand up to his face, finding his cheeks soaked. He hadn’t realised he’d started crying.

“There you go,” Molly finally let go to rub circles between his shoulder blades, “Well done, Caleb.”

His voice was thin, quaking when he finally got it past his teeth, “We really…we really need to stop meeting like this.”

Molly paused for just a moment before he started wheezing, that raspy, cackle of a laugh Caleb had grown to love so much, “Gods…”

Caleb smiled weakly, reaching for his coffee but thinking better of it, making himself ask, “Could you get me a glass of water, please?”

“Of course! Of course,” Molly dashed off, heeled boots clicking on the bare floors, coaxing a glass of water out of Caleb’s creaking pipes to bring back to him.

Heart still hammering, mind still wavering unsteadily, Caleb found himself noticing how Molly was dressed more feminine today, a flowing skirt of airy sage green chiffon and a drooping white sweater. He looked good. He looked really good. Caleb was suddenly glad of the water in his hands to focus him, swallowing hard and willing the cold of it to cool the burn rising in his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I just let myself in when I heard Frumpkin miaowing,” Mollymauk perched on the edge of the writing desk, concern still in his gaze, “Though I’m pretty glad I did, considering.”

“Me too,” Caleb admitted, feeling Frumpkin’s forepaws pressing instantly against his leg so bending down to scoop him back into his lap, “What are you even doing at the door? I thought it was tech week?”

Molly gave him a soft smile that somehow wasn’t pitying, pointing out of the window, “It’s gotten late without you realising, I think.”

Ah. The only thing he could see out there was the orange squares of the windows and the dirty smudge of light pollution across the new night sky. He’d lost track of time again.

His face must have been a picture because Molly chuckled, “I just thought I’d drop in on the way home. Again. Pretty glad I did now.”

“Again. Me too,” Caleb dipped his eyes and tried not to think about Mollymauk, exhausted after what he’d repeatedly told him was one of the most gruelling days a theatre could throw at you, still wanting to go an extra subway ride out of his way just to drop in on him.

Molly seemed to hesitate, like he wasn’t sure how to ask what he wanted to ask. So he went the same way he usually did, directly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Easy to answer, at least.

“I’m just tired,” Caleb croaked, “Writing’s been hard lately, I don’t know why.”

Molly did not have the expression of someone who’d just had their question fully answered. But he did look satisfied that this vagueness was all Caleb wanted to give him right now.  He never asked for more than that.

Caleb watched as Molly’s ruby eyes flickered around the room, seeming to come to a decision, “Why don’t you come for dinner at my place?”

The question seemed so unconnected to everything else that Caleb wasn’t sure he’d heard right. He blinked, feeling the burn of drying tears.

“You don’t have to!” Molly added quickly, “Or we could go out somewhere? I just thought it might be good for you to get out of here for a little bit. Shake yourself out of this groove you’ve got stuck in.”

Caleb considered that, still surprised but more that Molly was offering him access to his own home. He knew he lived there with Yasha, who Caleb had met and enjoyed the calm, stoic presence of, that it was a pretty standard city apartment, a lot like his if a little pokier and probably much more nicely decorated. And apparently there were silverfish, Mollymauk had mentioned those. But he’d never seen it with his own eyes, even after months of being friends, even after Molly practically lived at Caleb’s. The curiosity alone would be enough to make him say yes.

If Molly hadn’t also struck right at the heart of what Caleb needed. He didn’t want to lean into the darkness inside him anymore, he wanted to get away from it, whether it filled his word document or not. He felt selfish but he was too strung out, too tired, to resist it.

So he nodded and rasped, “I’d like that, Mollymauk. Thank you.”

Molly’s grin was sudden and all the more crooked for that, like he was too delighted to properly affix it to his face.

“Ever jumped the turnstile on the subway?”

Caleb had been imagining a lot of things on the ride over and the few blocks walk through the puddles of streetlight. And as soon as they ducked into a blocky concrete complex, out of the light rain that had started falling, he saw a lot of what he’d decided to expect. The same slim, slightly claustrophobic corridors, the same elevator that never seemed to work so the same endless seeming trek up a flight of weird smelling stairs.

Caleb started to relax, it seemed like Molly lived a very normal life when he stepped out of their comfortable routine. He’d hate to think he was boring his colourful friend, asking him to sit in near silence for hours in his sparse little world.

They were walking up to the familiar, plain door standing to attention on a row of identical ones, when Caleb saw something he’d never imagined. Before Mollymauk could put his key in the lock, the door swung outwards and nearly caught him on the jaw.

And Mollymauk walked through.

That was the immediate, impossible thought that struck Caleb with some force, enough that he physically took a step back. But finally, after a few long moments spent rethinking his position on the laws of time and space, Caleb began to see the differences, as slight as they were. The Other Mollymauk was slightly taller though it was probably down to their choice of higher heels, their tattoos were exclusively black and white and, of course, different images entirely, their piercings were as excessive but differently arranged. Their hair was longer, loosely tied back with a leather band, they were dressed differently, in dark leathers, more monochromatic than Mollymauk seemed capable of being.

And they were beaming brightly, showing several cracked and hastily repaired teeth, whereas Mollymauk was frowning.

“Kingsley,” he said through gritted teeth, trying and failing to sound pleased to see this doppelganger, “You said you were going out tonight.”

The other lavender tiefling’s grin didn’t ebb in the slightest, his eyes having locked on Caleb and not looking ready to shift, “Where d’ya think I’m going, Mol? But now I can see why you wanted me gone…”

“I’ve wanted you gone since you started sleeping on my couch,” Molly said lightly, a little too lightly, “‘Just a couple of nights’ my arse.”

“Rude,” Kingsley said, still perfectly pleasantly, “You’re being very rude to your baby brother right now. Especially by not introducing me to your guest who I definitely don’t already know pretty much everything about because you’ve been talking about him constantly…”

“King,” Molly hissed, shoulders hunching and definitely not looking over at Caleb, who was wondering why, after thirty years of having a constantly neutral face, he was struggling to maintain one when he actually needed it.

Kingsley either had very poor hearing or very selective hearing, as he turned to Caleb and held a hand out. It had about as many rings as Molly’s usually did and a good few of those thin white scars but there were calluses on his palm and fingertips that had to be years old. They looked rough but felt smooth under Caleb’s touch as he shook his hand.

“You must be the author. Caleb, right?” The question seemed to be rhetorical as he just kept on talking with no pause, “I’m Kingsley, I’m Molly’s younger brother. Younger by about ten minutes but it still counts, whatever he says.” He jerked a thumb over in Molly’s direction who was trying to look very interested in straightening up his necklaces and not like he was listening anxiously.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Caleb couldn’t help but smile back, Kingsley’s grin had the same infectious quality that Molly’s did, “Molly did not mention you, sorry if I looked…um…”

“Like you were seeing double?” Kingsley winked, “No worries. Identical twins. Well, triplets really but that’s a whole other, messier story, Moll will tell you. I’m a sailor, I’m never around long enough to meet many of my big brother’s friends. Though you’re a new one, right?”

“Rather new,” Caleb admitted, his head somehow spinning faster as Kingsley tried to explain himself.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Kingsley’s grin turned a little sly, a little dangerous in the way only a younger sibling’s could, “He’s always talking about you. Oh, Caleb’s texted me, can’t watch that cooking show with you, King, I’m meeting Caleb, did I tell you about this one bit in Caleb’s book, Caleb did this really cute thing today-”

“Okay,” Molly’s teeth were clenched so hard they looked in danger of breaking, “You’re leaving. Now. Thank you. You have a date, remember?”

“It’s fine, Marius knows I’m always late,” Kingsley began to wave dismissively, still turned to Caleb but Mollymauk very pointedly moved into his eyeline and something in his brother’s expression must have proved convincing, before the wave turned into two placating, upraised palms, “Okay! You’re right, best be on my way…”

Caleb shifted, feeling himself at the root of this strange tension between the two brothers and not sure what to do with that. Especially as parts of his brain were clutching greedily at some of the things Kingsley was saying, while other parts tried to wrestle them out of their grip.

“See ya, Red!” Kingsley didn’t seem that put out, clearly he was well practised in irritating his brother, “Don’t be a stranger, promise now.”

But Kingsley was gone, his long, black leather coat billowing as he set off down the corridor and swept down the stairs, before Caleb could think about any promises. As soon as the sound of his heavy boots faded, Molly gave a shaky sigh, nudging the door open and holding it for Caleb.

“Brothers, right?” he smiled weakly.

“I wouldn’t know,” Caleb admitted, following behind him, eyes already widening to better take everything in, “I don’t have any siblings…Kingsley seems nice, though?”

“He’s…exuberant,” Molly dropped his keys onto a plate that was clearly handmade in some pottery class and garishly painted by Molly himself. In fact, handmade and garish seemed to describe most things in the tiny apartment.

“Yes, I can see that,” Caleb smiled, though only for a moment, watching Molly hang up his fantastically patterned coat, “It bothers you though?”

Molly’s shoulders sagged and his tail stilled, “No. No, I’m not that much of a dick. He’s just not been around this long before and he’s grating on me, I guess…anyway, can I get you a drink?”

Caleb was still awkwardly hovering behind Molly, unwilling to break some unspoken societal rule by stepping into this unfamiliar space before it’s owner but peering curiously into it. There was a lot of colour, it was like being in some cross between an antiques shop, a kitschy gift shop and an art studio. There was a sofa whose stuffing was coming out a little but some colourful throws were doing their best to draw attention away from it, there were little trinkets on every surface, there were glass squares in bright colours hanging in the window. The tiny kitchenette had a fridge groaning with ugly magnets, bundles of dried flowers and fragrant herbs tied together with twine and not one utensil matched any other. Caleb could have just stood and looked at every little corner for hours and been satisfied, taking in each new, bright, exciting thing.

But something was pulling his attention away. Unusual for him.

He turned to where Molly had moved behind the kitchen counter, seeming to be deliberately busying himself with finding two glasses.

“You’re not that much of a dick. You’re not a dick at all,” he said softly, earnestly, “You never are.”

Molly’s red eyes flickered up to meet Caleb’s and his jaw relaxed, “That’s…not something I hear a lot. Thank you.”

Caleb blinked, surprised by that, “Well. I’ll say it more often, then.”

The tiefling’s face twisted into a grimace, “I guess I’m just feeling like one lately. With Kingsley around and everything…”

Caleb realised with a start that he was usually on the other side of a conversation like this, recognising the tight pull in the corners of Mollymauk’s mouth and the restlessness as he tapped on the glasses he held the way he knew his own reflection’s nose and eyes in the mirror. Something was bothering his friend, who usually seemed so unbothered by everything in life that plagued people like Caleb.

He frantically tried to remember the way Veth and Beau and Percy spoke to him when they offered him comfort, “Would you like to talk about it?”

Molly did seem a little surprised, either that his discomfort had been obvious or that Caleb was offering. He seemed to think for a moment, teeth worrying his lower lip so purple lipstick smudged onto one long canine.

“I’m pretty sure I offered you dinner. Not to vomit all of my sad, tragic backstory onto your lap.”

His tone was joking but the hair on the back of Caleb’s neck stood up. Molly was jesting the way only people who had some significant damage could after they’d learned to mask it with humour. He’d been maddeningly curious to see what was in Molly’s apartment but he hadn’t been expecting this.

All the more reason why he sat down on the sofa, patted the cushion next to him and said, “We can eat after. If that's what you want. But I’m here right now?”

Molly still hesitated just a moment longer before walking over, abandoning the idea of food and drink and slumping down next to Caleb, having to shift a neatly folded blanket and pillow out of the way before he did. The comment about Kingsley sleeping on the couch was clearly literal.

“You’re wondering why I haven’t brought Kingsley around the cafe or anything?” he guessed, leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands.

Caleb nodded. That had been one of the roughly thousands of questions that popped into his head.

Molly gave the grim smile of someone at confession, “Not many people know about him. Yasha does, of course, it's technically her couch he surfs when he’s on shore leave. But no one else.”

“You weren’t going to tell me about him?” Caleb tried not to be hurt by that.

Molly gave him an apologetic look, “It just makes things harder to explain. He said he had a date, I thought he’d have cleared out by now, stumbled back at some godsforsaken hour of the morning and woken me up…okay, now I am being a dick.”

Caleb chuckled, fingers plucking at a loose thread in the sleeve of his jumper while his attention was on Molly, “I still don’t think you are. And you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to, obviously.”

But, after a moment’s pause, Mollymauk kept talking, “We’re triplets. Two of three. I don’t talk to the other one, Lucien, he…we had one conversation and I just don’t think he’s a good guy. Into weird cult shit, down a bad path. King tries to keep in touch with him but I don’t ask, y’know?”

Caleb shifted and nodded, “But Kingsley seems nice?”

“He is,” Molly smiled a little, “He’s a good kid with a good heart. I really wish I didn’t find being around him so difficult…he acts like he’s fine with it but I know he isn’t. How could he be?”

Caleb frowned, losing the thread of what his friend was saying, “Mollymauk?”

Suddenly there was a lump in Molly’s throat and tears in his eyes. Caleb was about to jump in, insist again that they didn’t have to talk about this but more words came before he had the chance, choking out painfully.

“Kingsley’s known me his whole life. I’ve known him for about three years now.”

Caleb felt a cold kind of shock wash over him with those words, as their meaning sank in fully, as the new questions built up. He clamped down on them hard, letting Molly have his time to take a shaky breath in and keep going.

“I have about three years worth of memory,” he swallowed hard, voice thick, “Everything before that is just a complete blank, the early months are all fractured and they hurt to try and think about. Like trying to remember a nightmare your brain is trying to throw out. All I know for certain is what other people have told me, that I walked into a hospital caked in mud and wearing next to nothing, that I collapsed on the front desk and was catatonic for the next few weeks. And even when I wasn’t, I…I had nothing. I was nothing. Empty. That’s the only word I could say, apparently. Just…empty.”

Caleb’s heart ached under the weight of everything he was feeling for Mollymauk, he did the only thing he could think to do, knowing his words would never be enough. He reached across and took his friend’s hand, threading their fingers together. And, instantly, gratefully, Molly clung on like he was gripping a lifeline.

It seemed to be what gave him the strength to keep talking, after his voice faltered, “I had to relearn how to speak, how to think for myself. I spent half a year on the psych ward before they decided I could take care of myself and I could but, fuck, I was half a person. I didn’t have a past at all, just the future and the future fucking terrified me. You can’t even imagine what that’s like, walking around with just static behind you.”

Caleb thought back guiltily to all the times he’d wished, wished so fervently, that he could wipe out his past and leave a blank slate. It was so easy to forget that nothing could be as terrifying as anything he put in his books or anything that lurked in his own mind.

Molly sniffed and continued, voice damp, “Thank every single god up there that I met Yasha pretty much the day after leaving the hospital. I just wandered into the theatre, I just wanted somewhere warm and colourful so I didn’t have to face the emptiness in my head. I watched the whole show without even having a ticket and afterwards, when I was still in my seat having a panic attack because it was over and what the fuck was I supposed to do next… Yasha came up to me and asked if I was okay. And she’s been making sure I am ever since.”

Caleb nodded, understanding how someone could do that for you. Veth had been exactly that for him. He never even should have been in the same recovery group as her, addiction certainly wasn’t his issue, but no one else knew how to categorise him. So he’d been mandated to attend that group at that time and place, sitting right next to Veth. It comforted Caleb to think back on that coincidence, it had been the first sign of fate nudging him gently and saying here, you can have a chance to get better.

He made a mental note to give Yasha a hug the next time he saw her. And Veth, too.

Molly’s thumb ran across the knuckles of Caleb’s hand, “I guess I turned out okay. I don’t think I’m the same person I was but I mean, shit, how would I know? But I like the person I am. I like Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

“I like him too,” Caleb murmured, letting himself speak without scrutinising what came out of his mouth first.

Molly gave a sodden little chuckle and squeezed his hand, “Thanks…and then a year after I got spat back out of the universe, I’m walking along one day and a man who looks identical to me runs up and slams me into the biggest, bone crunching hug you’ve ever felt.”

“Kingsley?” Caleb guessed.

“And he’s yabbering on about some guy called Nonagon and I haven’t a fucking clue who that is and I’m trying to explain but he’s so happy, he’s crying, saying how he thought his brother was gone forever and…and I’m the asshole who has to tell him no, his brother is dead and I’m walking around piloting his body like an unwanted ghost.”

Caleb winced, “Oh…”

“Grisly, huh?” Molly smiled bitterly, tears still freely falling down his cheeks and dripping onto their clasped hands, “All credit to him, King buys me a drink and he listens and he fills me in with as much as he can. The authorities scoured records for weeks after I showed up and my past just came and crashed into me on the sidewalk one Tuesday��� But he tells me I have him and I have another brother, Lucien, that they all grew up together after being abandoned by whatever parents they had and chucked into the system. That Nonagon would always take care of them, find a way for them to eat, find a roof for them. That he was the best big brother anyone could want. That he was chasing some kind of magic, some power that would see them taken care of for the rest of their lives. And that one day he just disappeared…and I’m what’s left.”

Molly’s voice broke again then and he had to steady himself before he could go on. Caleb had an idea, twisting the fingers on his free hand into a complicated array as his eyes flashed blue. Freshly summoned, his fur still dusted with glowing motes, Frumpkin crawled into Molly’s lap and began butting his striped head against Molly’s jawline fondly. The tiefling took a deep breath, closing his eyes and finding a soft smile before it fell away and he kept going.

“King had to go and catch his ship, he’s with the Revelry? Y’know, like Fjord was? So he leaves me with more bloody questions and never writes, the forgetful little shit. So I just have to live with this until he blows back into town and when he is there…look, he tries. He calls me Molly, he treats me like I’m my own person but…I can see it in his eyes. That he’s wishing I was his big, brave brother that would fix everything for him and make him feel safe. And I’m not. I just can’t be, Caleb. I don’t know who that is.”

“It’s okay, Mollymauk,” Caleb pitched his voice low, trying to make it sound soothing and just hoping it worked, “You don’t have to be anyone but yourself. Who you are is good enough.”

Molly gave a shuddery sigh, “I know. I do, I know but sometimes…I forget that I know?”

Caleb gave a little smile, “Yes. I understand that.”

The tiefling looked genuinely relieved at that, like he’d been worried he’d spoken a completely different language for the last minute.  The sincerity in his voice was heartbreaking as he whispered, “Thank you.”

“That all sounds….” Caleb blew out his cheeks in a sigh as he tried to find a word, “Tough. Very tough.”

Molly snorted, wiping his eyes on his free sleeve before stroking Frumpkin’s ears, “Yeah. It was.”

He looked down at their joined hands, at the colour creeping up from under his sleeve, the snake that writhed between their grip.

“That’s why I make art, I think,” he murmured, voice soft and a little distant, “I feel like if I draw something, if I paint it and get it there on the page, I make it permanent. There’d be some part of me still there, even if my mind rebooted itself again. I’d have made some mark, even if I forget myself.”

“There’d be more than just that. I promise,” Caleb let his other hand join Molly’s, so now both held one of his, “But thank you for telling me this, Mollymauk.”

“Thanks for making me glad I did,” Molly smiled, a weak, exhausted smile but all the more true for that, “Okay. That’s all my baggage just poured out on your floor. Wanna eat now?”

Caleb chuckled, “If you’re ready…but let me do it. You sit down and rest.”

Molly opened his mouth to protest but Caleb wasn’t offering, getting to his feet and moving into the kitchen. The insistence died down into a rueful smile, he snagged Kingsley’s pillow and rested against the arm of the sofa, tucking his legs up under him like the emotional exhaustion was finally starting to press him down.

“Can you cook? By the way?” he wondered aloud.

“Depends,” Caleb’s answer was accompanied by the encouraging sound of plates clattering, “Do you have the boxed mac and cheese stuff?”

He did, in fact, surprising Caleb not in the slightest. So roughly eight to nine minutes later, he nudged Molly gently, roused him and pressed a bowl of cheap, easy but filling food into his hands. That was the way, rest and refuel, Caleb knew that well.

They ate in relative silence, happy just to be near each other and let the words build back up, Frumpkin a purring bread loaf between them. So, when he set his bowl down- a very pretty thing with a chipped rim and a pattern of fishes- Caleb turned to Mollymauk and he was ready.

“If you did forget yourself,” he murmured softly, “I would tell you everything you need to know about Mollymauk.”

Molly’s expression softened, his smile quirked up with some of it’s old brightness back, “Oh? What would you say?”

Caleb made himself meet those red eyes, “I would say that Mollymauk Tealeaf is incredibly generous. That he leaves every single life he’s in better than it was when he found it. That he is a gorgeous artist, that all he does is make things beautiful and bright. I’d tell you that Mollymauk is very good with kids. I’d say that he’s really funny and his laugh is wonderful to listen to. That he puts too much sugar in his coffee and orders pickles on his sandwich even though he doesn’t like them just so I can have them. That he can talk about musicals for hours and he plays guitar better than he thinks he can and I love how he moves his hands when he talks. And…well, I’d be able to think of more things in the moment but yes. I'm so glad I met him. I couldn’t be happier that he is my author and my friend.”

Molly’s eyes were shining again, rubies starting to sparkle. It was his turn to be out of words, just moving under the arm Caleb opened for him, tucking himself in close. Frumpkin trilled, not wanting to be forgotten, slipping into the embrace and settling on Caleb’s knee.

And Caleb wrapped his arms around Mollymauk and held him close, the way he hadn’t held another person in quite some time. He gave comfort to his friend and felt something inside him heal in the same moment, that had been broken since that afternoon and probably a long time before that too

And, for the first time, Caleb was looking forward to the release date of his book. He heard Jester’s voice in his head again. If you’re going to ask this Molly guy out- and I totally think you should- could you guys maybe wait?

Maybe he was tired of waiting.