#minecraft steve height

[hall0wedwyrm]

I don't like that Minecraft Steve is canonically taller than Dr Eggman

[crunchyfield]

What's Steve's height in minecraft ?

Many people thought steve was about 5'6"(1.68 m), 5'7"(1.70 m), 5'8"(1.73 m) , 5'11"(1.8 m) or even about 2.0 m (6'7").

Guess what, some even tried to measure him according to his hitbox (it's like measuring yourself up to a tad bit higher than your eyes considering the remaining part of your head would be irrelevant somehow lol).

Several methods were used many of which carried inaccuracies along thus resulting in Steve's height ranging from short guy below average to tall guy above average (like what ? why so much difference ?), I quote the F3 method :p .

So let's clear all that out once and for all.

First and foremost, one random civilized Minecraft player should know by now that a Minecraft block is 1.0 cubed meter (as stated by Mojang years ago) meaning that it's 1.0 meter high, on top of this a block is 16 voxels high (Minecraft 3D pixels).

This also means a voxel equates 0.0625 m.Then knowing that info, invites us to think of how many voxels exactly is Steve next to a 1 x 2 wall.

As we can see, Steve visually appears to be 2 voxels smaller than a 1 x 2 wall (indicating Steve is 30 voxels high) but before going any further with this assumption, we have to check its reliability first by calculating the relative gap using pixel measurements:

Since the relative gap is lesser than 0.05 % (that's crazy clean not gonna lie here) , we can now freely assume that Steve is indeed 30 voxels high and doing quick maths we get his actual height:

All in all, Steve happens to be pretty tall & above average with an outstanding height of 1.875 m (6'2").

Unfortunately, this remains not that tall in comparaison to other mobs such as villagers being 2.0 m (6'7") or like husks being 2.125 m (7'0") for instances.

Sidenote: It has been officially stated for a while that Steve is this tall which by the way makes my post seem to be more of a demonstration though x) .

Fun fact: For all the sussy bakas still wondering, since Steve is officially 1.875 meters (6'2") it means that a block is most certainly 1.0 cubed meter.

[starlightandroses]

Height Comparisons for the Wild Life Fan-Creators

So, that session 1 tho. Lotta height weirdness! And I can already tell this is gonna be hell for trying to determine where characters are in a space, so I did the math so y'all don't have to!

Of course there's definitely more than 1 way to do things, so if you don't like my math, don't use it! I'm also not a mathmatician so if my numbers are wrong pls let me know~

So where do we start?

Original heights, of course! Specifically, the original height of none other than Minecraft Steve himself.

Each minecraft block is a 1x1x1 meter cube, and Steve (and therefore all other cubitos) are exactly 2 blocks tall. This leaves Steve (and therefore the rest of the cubitos) at a default of about 6'5-6'6 feet tall.

Step 2 is where the shrinkage comes in. We know from the Sub One Crew that the smallest height possible is half a block, so 50 centimeters. The largest height possible, from what I can gather, is 6 blocks, so 6 meters, leaving a height range from 1'6-19'7 feet.

But, we can also go a little further~

With the way characters move and the fact that none of the characters really did proper experimental testing, it's hard to say how much height exactly is added per jump or per crouch.

So, I figured it'd be easier to just call it one pixel per jump or per crouch. (Crouching in reality is a bit more complicated because you can hold it down, but for the sake of easy math I'm just going to count the crouches the same as the jumps.)

Each minecraft block has a 16x16 grid of pixels on each side. If each jump adds a pixel and each crouch removes one, then that would be adding/losing 6.25 cm per jump/crouch, or roughly 2.46 inches. So... Not that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things.

This does mean, by these calculations, that getting from normal height to the minimum would take 24 crouches, and getting from normal height to the maximum would take about 64 jumps. And therefore, getting from max to min or min to max would be 88 crouches or jumps depending on which direction you're going in.

Yikes that's a workout-

Hopefully this helps put things a little bit into perspective when it comes to these cubitos and their height weirdness!

Here's hoping that session 2 involves a lot less math XD

[terman]

Here's my headcanon for Steve...mainly for my Minecraft setting

1. He is very strong and hardy, it's really difficult to kill him, because of number 2

2. He is an artificially created man, a creature between homunculus and golem

3. His appearance is identical to that of his creator, as he used his soul to create Steve. For that reason Steve is visited by eery images of his creator, or Herobrine, as we call

4. He is a big boy (~210 cm in height)

[jellyfishtoenail]

Dumb Tankmen headcannons

Captain (John)

Panromantic and asexual. Like, yes he makes c0ck jokes but the second you actually whip yours out he's disgusted

S3x neutral, thinks it's funny just doesn't wanna be a part of it

Is short hahahahah (is actually average height: 5"8')

Was a COD kid. Thankfully, only the c0ck jokes stayed

Has Adhd and is a little socially unaware (ex. making C0CK JOKES in front of his colleagues)

Drinks p!ss (ex. spooky month and Ted saying his beer tastes like pee). Why? No clue. He's just weird like that.

The thing about getting a st!ffy wasn't a joke at all, he actually just gets one when the enemy is nearby. Like a spidey sense. "My divk senses are tingling"

Steve

Greysexual and Greyromantic

John is literally the only person he's ever been attracted to in his 30 years of life

He does like John s3xually but doesn't do anything about it because he loves him, with s3x or without

Still calls John "Captain" on the battlefield, but when alone, he'll just call him John

Literally everyone knows him and John are gay but he still tries to keep it a secret. And fails when John gets too fruity for the 29383th time

EXTREMELY competitive. Like, if you lose, you'll never hear the end of it. If you win, he won't talk to you for days. Although he has been working on calming down a little.

Has anger issues but has been working through them too. (I mean you kinda have to if you're gonna date John tbh-)

Ted

Is nicknamed teddy bear by everyone and he HATES it

It came from after being shot in the d!vk by enemy tankmen he used a teddy bear to stop the bleeding from his down there. Someone thought he was doing it to the teddy bear and spread that rumour, causing the nickname

45 (cringe)

Asexual Aromantic

Also was a huge COD kid. Unfortunately, the COD brainrot stayed 😔

Tankwoman

Someone save her why is everyone so weird to her-

Probably the smartest out of all of them

Idk i don't have much to say. Just wish she got more screentime and the guys (cough, cough TED) were less creepy to her

Bill

The guy everyone is SURE is gay but is somehow straight

Like that one teacher we KNEW was gay until he started talking about his wife and kids

Acoustic (welcome to the club, bill)

Rip bozo

Skittles

18-19

The one shooting everyone in the dingaling

Has daddy issues (real)

Tim

GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Has a huge crush on commander (captain of enemy tankmen)

Objectum. Cuz why not

Definitely a little neurodivergent just nobody knows which one he has

Was a minecraft and undertale kid (me too, buddy, me too.)

Literally just follows Commander everywhere like a dumb puppy

Commander

Honestly just trying to do his job and defeat the tankmen (an asshole, but a focused asshole)

Is okay with tim following his as long as he does his job and doesn't get too close

Homophobic/j

Called tim a dumb puppy once and has regretted it ever since

[gumeyyy]

|| WELCOME TO THE (not so) COOLEST EVER HUMAN BEING ON TUMBLR'S INTRO ||

Name: Gumey, with how many Y's you feel like writing (i mean, if youre speaking of my actual name, i am actually called Raquel, thank you!!)

Status: there might be someone outside your window, but youll just, never know.

Languages: Brazilian portuguese, English and currently learning spanish and a little bit of french

Pronouns + sexuality: she/her mainly but i really dont care what u use, neos, xenos, i dont really care what u call me!! Im a phlesbian 😽😽

About me simplified + hobbies: just another one of those emo nerds that tapes stuff to their wall ,'/ i like reading, drawing, painting, diy'ing (is that how its spelled??), I EFFIN LOVE COLOR THEORY, my favorite color is pink and thats why i am so cool, the most masculine people SHALL ENJOY PINK, totally fine if u like pink and you arent masculine BUT IF YOU WISH TO BE MASCULINE, THOU SHALL LIKE PINK (im not in the slightest close to masculine)

FANDOMS/INTERESTS:

Youtubers: Amazing Phil, Daniel Howell (obviously both of them are here, what'd you expect?), Markiplier, Pewdiepie, Saiko, Drama Kween, Louis McClung, FunkyFrogBait, Film Cooper, Jarvis Johnson, Chad Chad, Danny Gonzalez, Cyber Noop, Kurtin Conner, Drippy, Izzzyzzz, Tex Hs, Not Even Emily, Kurzgesagt, Vsauce, The Click, Manual do Mundo, Você Sabia, Ibibbishiboula, AcidMilk, etc

Series + films: Psych, Monk, Scott Pilgrim, Gravity falls, Monster High, Ever After High, Garfield, House, Charlie the Unicorn, Salad Fingers, Inanimate Insanity, Animation vs Minecraft/Animator, Açafrão Bondoso, My Little Pony, Azumanga Daioh, Lucky Star, Invader Zim, Spongebob (i cant take myself seriously for this 😭), The Ring, Annabelle, The Nun, Heathers, Ride the Cyclone, Hamilton, Glitter Force, etc

Games: Undertale, Portal, Club Penguin, Steve's Parable, Fnaf, Animal Jam, Slenderman, Homestuck (does homestuck count as a game? I mean, it can be interacted but where would it fit in??), Sally Face, Pokemon, Minecraft, Papa's Pizzaria + other zipline studios Papa's games, Bad End Theater, Starry Flowers, etc

Music: My Chemical Romance, Mindless Self Indulgence, Never Shout Never, Hawthorne Heights, Taking Back Sunday, Sleeping with Sirens, Pierce the veil, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, The All-American Rejects, Say Anything, Kittie, Paramore, Simple Plan, All Time Low, Green Day, Restart, Replace, Strike, Escape The Fate, Bikini Hill, Bratmobile, Mommy Long Legs, Red Aunts, Slutever, Avril Lavigne, Picture me Broken, The Offspring, Good Charlotte, Dance Gavin Dance, Blink-182, Evanescence, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Mayday Parade, Bring Me The Horizon, Nx zero, Pitty, Falling In Reverse, Get Scared, Jimmy Eat World, Sugarcult, The Used, AFI, Underoath, The Academy Is... (WAS/ref), Story Of The Year, Sepultura, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Cine, Korn, Desalmado, Surra, Scary Bitches, Bury Me With You, Chomp Chomp Attack!, Vampires Everywhere!, Farewell My Love, Brokencyde, Muse, Isles & Glaciers, Weezer, Cobra Starship, A Day To Remember, Brand New, Saosin, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Senses Fail, Chiodos, Motion City Soundtrack, 5 Seconds Summer, He is We, SayWeCanFly, Sounds Like Harmony, Radiohead, Nirvana, Rob Zombie, Chico Buarque, Sex Bob-Omb, Cute Is What We Aim For, Matchbook romance, Joyce Manor, From First To Last, Silverstein, Bayside, Armor For Sleep, Thrice, Box Car Racer, Alexisonfire, Dashboard Confessional, Head Automatica, BOYS LIKE GIRLS, Finch, We The Kings, Cartel, Sunny Day Real Estate, Mae, Lovehatehero, The Postal Service, Funeral For a Friend, Hit The Lights, Hidden in Plain View, Dead Poetic, There For Tomorrow, Forever the Sickest Kids, The Get Up Kids, The Spill Canvas, (can you tell i went to my spotify playlists jist to list half of the stuff i listen to?) Etc.

[superconductivebean]

#1076

As promised in #1074, a quick rundown.

Tags: @mrs-sharp @gothic-lottie @ladyofsappho @boxdstars

So today's morning, @phinik asked me if a hair from a person alive from ~15 years ago gets added to the Polyjuice potion, will you turn the person from their 15-years-ago self -- or into their modern self.

I said, yes, but it may not be that easy to conclude as it may seem.

I must warn, there're bodily horrors under the cut.

The books and the games don't explore or delve too deep into areas of magic otherwise dangerous. We know adding animal fur wouldn't turn you an animal, perhaps there's another potion recipe for that or for anyone willing to try, the animagus preparation ritual. But we're also given a hint: Polyjuice Potion alters your body fully.

Crouch JR hadn't a leg. Harry's sight improved; in DH, the Seven Potters needed glasses. MC engorged into Black, no problem there.

So theoretically speaking, we can conclude that a hair taken from a younger Moody should have the leg and the eye in place; Harry's sight will remain as is but everyone will shrink to his younger self's height. Black certainly had a few boils on the existence of which MC -- strangely -- doesn't comment any other way than lmaoing at him.

But then we went further. Every single case of drinking the potion involved physical alteration but was it really explored how the one's consciousness changes? Brain is an organ, too, the damage it has ever sustained may have lasting consequences. Will you be able to think or act as usual if you've turned into someone with dementia? epilepsy and schizophrenia double shot? And other conditions that affect brain or nerve development, or are results of a trauma. Just how will it feel when you've turned back into your regular self; not to mention cases of the radiation pollution, or rabies, or idk anthrax. Phinik suggested an idea outstanding in wickedness: what will be of a toddler gulped on a Polyjuice potion? A simple question turned into horrors beyond our comprehension.

It is therefore possible to die being turned into someone dying? or experience and not sustained a deadly condition, such as radiation? Will it be even possible to turn into a person dissolving alive; their hair may turn you into a sentient blob of bloody mass, will you survive it?

But if you're still alive, what will it be for the brain aka consciousness?

Is it what they study in the Department of Mysteries under the Mind alias? Wicked scenarios taken from sci-fi novels except it's something very real in their world and can happen to anyone?

Sickeningly frightening as it all sounds, this aligns with my greater theory for magic as an ability to stop the reality and take a snapshot of it, if you will; because magic is, strictly speaking, a manipulation on a body of Information pertaining to the objects of the universe.

Sources of information can't be reduplicated. Bodies of information are subjected to the entropy as over time parts of the bodies wither away or get lost in and through any kind of manipulation. Begiven a source, you can reduplicate its outputs, hence you can copypaste a dish full of food but not make food itself out of the thin air, or make new peapol by just spamming the Minecraft Steve magical button, or have no garden at all, and especially for potions ingredients, because you can't appear a plant, something living and ever-changing, out of nowhere.

You can't produce a seed but you'll need at least one to have a silo full of the same exact seed that will yield the same exact pumpkin; or you can have a silo full of different pumpkins and then just reduplicate the crop. It effectively solves the hunger problem although doesn't eliminates it wholly.

You will still require at least one seed that must produce a seedling and then grow a plant to have you a pumpkin. Which you then copy and paste to use; it also explains why the community garden is rather small, the one in Hogsmeade I mean, or why Hogwarts doesn't need a lot of livestock and game and gardens to feed its population.

I also came aware pumpkin seeds aren't stored in a silo but for this argument's sake, let's pretend they are. Also, what if you throw a pumpkin into the Polyjuice potion, will you b̴̳̿e̷̯͊c̸͎̋ò̶̧m̴͍͒ȅ̶͙ ̸̿ͅr̴̡͋ö̴̰́t̵̩̊?̶̞̽ ?

So to answer the initial question, it is possible to turn into a younger version of the same person, perhaps a still living one. But the hair can dissolve or otherwise lose crucial information about its wearer. The potion made out of such an unpredictable ingredient must be a luck.

[chaoticm0therfvcker]

The Real Minecraft Movie

So, in one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I would be making my own version of the Minecraft movie because looking at the trailer it’s probably gonna be ass. So, here’s some info on it

Note: looking at how elaborate the plot is, I’m realizing now it would probably be better as a tv show instead of a movie, but 🤷‍♀️

Characters

Obviously, there will be Steve and Alex, who will take the role as the mentors of the main characters. Also they will be their correct races and have their correct skin colors.

Then, onto the main characters. They go by Kay and Archer, however since they are video game avatars being controlled by players in the outside world, their full names are Chaos_Girlie and ArcherTheRogue (Archers player likes DnD, okay?). A quick overview of how they got there is that they gained sentience even though they’re avatars in a video game. However, these full names will not be revealed until a goofy post credits scene at the end of the story.

Kay is the same average height as all other Minecraft humans and humanoids, and she has long, dark purple hair that’s half pulled back into a ponytail. Her avatar sports a purple t-shirt under a black jacket and black pants to match, as well as white socks and no shoes. Later on, she gets diamond armor that is later turned into netherite armor with amethyst trims. She’s the adventurer/miner of the group, and she often brings Archer along on adventures so that he can hunt and learn how to fight. She wields an axe as her main weapon, though she also uses a sword when she is sparring with Steve. She’s considerably more experienced than Archer for reasons that won’t be revealed until the twist. Also she loves axolotls and catches a cyan one she names Snowflake.

Archer is the same height as Kay, and he has light pink curly hair, kinda like the wool of a pink sheep. His avatar sports a light blue hoodie with a little black creeper face in the top corner of the front of his shirt by his shoulder, and black shorts with dark blue sneakers with white laces. Later on, he gets iron armor, but Kay helps him get netherite so it eventually gets replaced by netherite armor with diamond trim. His main weapon is a crossbow that he uses to shoot light blue fireworks at enemies, as well as a trident that he mainly just uses to get mob heads during thunderstorms. He is the hunter/builder of the two, though he has to bring Kay along with him for hunting sessions at the start because he isn’t very experienced with fighting. During one of their adventures, Archer finds a baby pink sheep and names it curly in reference to them having matching hair.

Also, later on they befriend a piglin brute they name Ender, because he helped them get ender pearls in a warped forest biome as a symbol of their friendship.

Enemies

Obviously, they will face the regular hostile mobs such as creepers, spiders, and zombies, and since both of them are more focused on exploring and hunting and stuff, they end up having to deal with phantoms very often.

They will also face off against the boss mobs of the game. They’ll start with the Elder Guardian, then they’ll accidentally spawn the Warden while exploring a cave, then they’ll spawn the Wither in the nether once Steve and Alex tell them about beacons (it will be the bedrock wither so it’ll spawn backup wither skeletons halfway through and be very unpredictable with its movements) and then the Ender Dragon will be their final battle.

The overall main antagonist of the game is Herobrine. He has been the main villain for Steve and Alex since the beginning of time, and he is the reason Steve and Alex are enlisting in the help of Kay and Archer to kill the Ender Dragon (this will be explained further in the plot section). They do end up fighting against him, but he ends up being spared under the conditions that he gives Ender the ability to travel to the overworld without being zombified and that if he ever gives them trouble again, he will be killed on the spot.

Plot

The movie starts with a montage of the different biomes along with a narrator saying the words from the very first trailer of Minecraft with Otherside by Lena Raine playing in the background. Then, it cuts to Kay and Archer spawning into the world, spawning about a foot off the ground and face planting into a plains biome. Groaning, they get up while rubbing their heads, and once they see each other, they introduce themselves. Since they don���t want to say their full names, they opt to say “Call me Kay; Call me Archer”. Off in the distance, there is a badlands biome in one direction and a taiga biome in the opposite direction, and they opt to go to the taiga biome so they can get some wood. While Kay is chopping away at spruce trees, Archer finds some sweet berry bushes and while trying to collect some of the berries, he ends up tripping and falling into the bush, taking damage with each movement. Since neither of them have any armor, he is taking some serious damage and needs help. This is where Steve and Alex come in; while they’re returning from an adventure, they see Archer struggling and decide to help him out by tearing apart the bush and offering him a regeneration potion. Once Archer sees who just helped him, he starts geeking out, and when Kay turns to see what all the commotion is about, she starts geeking out as well. Touched by the amount of admiration they are receiving, Steve and Alex ask if they want to tag along on their adventures, offering to train them and even help them navigate through all of the typical major milestones for players. Once she hears about this, Kay excitedly remarks that she’s waited so long to kill the Ender Dragon, which is a bit of a strange comment considering she just spawned into the world. Despite this, Archer ignores her remark and they start on their first adventure.

Kay tries to urge them to start by exploring the badlands biome off in the distance, but Alex states that they’re not ready to face off against all of the mobs within the mineshafts and instead bring them to a village to get food, armor and weapons instead. It’s a taiga village because those villages don’t get enough appreciation. Steve and Alex tell Kay and Archer to explore the village while they go talk to the armor and weapon smiths to hook them up with some weapons and armor. Kay goes off and explores some of the farms, stealing some pumpkins and potatoes but getting caught by a farmer villager. She apologizes and says that she’s new to the world and just wants some food, and the villager decides that she can keep the food as long as she gives him back some of the potatoes she stole so he can replant them and to bring him some of the bones she gets if she runs into any skeletons. He then mentions that she’s going to need to bake the potatoes and turn the pumpkins into pumpkin pie, and he decides that if it means she’ll get out of his hair, he’ll help her get the ingredients for the pumpkin pie. Meanwhile, Archer is exploring the village by going into all the villager houses and petting all the random animals in pens. All of a sudden, he runs into an iron golem. Intimidated, he stumbles back a little bit, but the iron golem offers him a poppy, which Archer takes while squeaking out a quick “thank you” before scrambling away. Steve approaches him and asks where Kay is, because the smiths they were talking to are ready to trade with them. Hearing Steve and Archer talking, Kay approaches them while stuffing her face with pumpkin pie to ask what’s going on. Steve tells them to follow them, and once they approach the armor and weapon smiths, Alex introduces them and hands them emeralds for trades.

With her emeralds, Kay excitedly gets herself an enchanted diamond axe, but soon realizes that she screwed up and doesn’t have enough emeralds for armor. Archer, on the other hand, gets himself iron armor without realizing that he could’ve gotten diamond armor and runs out of emeralds before he can get a weapon. Steve and Alex both facepalm at how stupidly they wasted their emeralds, but reassure them that they can collect materials to get more emeralds or get the materials to make weapons and armor themselves. Kay and Archer ask if the villagers have any spare beds that they can borrow, and Steve tells them to wait until nightfall to see if there are any spare beds. Soon, the sun sets, and Kay and Archer end up in neighboring cabins, with Kay sleeping in a purple bed and Archer sleeping in a blue bed that he wants to dye a lighter blue once he has the flowers to do so. The next morning, they grab their beds, thank the villagers for hosting them and trading with them, and they start their next adventure.

The four decide that their “next adventure” should be finding a place to build a base before setting off on other future adventures, and Alex states that their base should be near a body of water, that way they can have a dock to go fishing and have easier access to other biomes further out. Kay still wants to go to that badlands biome, but holds her tongue this time and just follows along. While they’re walking, Steve and Alex explain that their current mission is to kill herobrine so that they would be able to kill the Ender Dragon one final time. Archer asks them to elaborate, and Steve explains that herobrine is a godlike entity that doesn’t like when players get too powerful. Alex then takes over, explaining that in order to “complete” the end battle, they need to kill the Ender Dragon twenty times, creating a ring of end gateways around the main island. She states that they had already killed the Ender Dragon nineteen times, but that they were interrupted the final time by herobrine and spawned back into the overworld with none of their stuff, being forced to basically start from square one. Kay starts geeking out because she thought it was impressive to be able to kill the Ender Dragon once, let alone nineteen times! Then, they come across an area that would be perfect for their base, a flower forest with a warm ocean in front of them, a large plateau with an exposed cave in the side of it and a cherry grove on top of it to the right of them, and a beach to the left of them with a snowy peaks biome way off in the distance. Building a quick ladder, furnace, crafting table, and a few chests, they burrow into the ground and create an underground base, agreeing that they would expand their base once they’ve done some mining. Crafting up some stone pickaxes, Steve, Alex, and Kay go into the cave, but Archer says he’s gonna explore the ocean since he has respiration on his helmet. Steve tells him to be careful of drowned, pufferfish and guardians, and warns him about the mining fatigue he’ll get if he decides to explore an ocean monument. Archer promises to stay safe, and with a mock salute, he’s off to explore the ocean.

Since nothing overly exciting is currently happening to Kay, it cuts to Archer exploring the ocean. He’s swimming around, collecting sea pickles, and after he gets poisoned by a pufferfish, he kills a few pufferfish to see if he can do anything to them once he returns. Swimming out further, he discovers a shipwreck with iron, diamonds, lapis, and a treasure map. Soon, he finds an ocean monument, and as Steve warned, he gets the mining fatigue effect. However, before he has the chance to go inside, he feels a sharp pain in his side, and looking over in the direction of where he felt the pain, he sees a drowned holding a trident, ready to attack. He decides to attack the drowned so it’ll stop attacking him, and after a long and hard battle, he punches the drowned enough times that it dies and drops the trident, which Archer immediately grabs.

Swimming to the surface to catch his breath, he soon dives back under the water to explore the ocean monument. The battle against all the guardians was pretty hard, but with the help from his new trident, he was able to defeat everyone and even found the gold in the ocean monument. He tries to mine it with his stone pickaxe, but the gold block didn’t drop. Slightly discouraged, he soon realizes that he has a crafting table and a bunch of iron from the shipwreck he had discovered earlier, so he crafts an iron pickaxe and successfully mines the gold. Proud of his work, he returns to shore, deciding to go to the beach near their base to find the buried treasure listed on the map he found.

Then, it cuts to Kay, Steve, and Alex. They are currently at the outskirts of a lush cave, and due to the brightness of the cave warding off hostile mobs, they decide to set up a temporary little camp of crafting tables and furnaces. Kay asks what biome they are in and remarks that it’s beautiful, so Alex explains that it’s a lush biome, with lots of cool plant life, fish, and these cute little creatures called axolotls. Steve makes a remark that Alex got lucky and was able to explore lush caves when they first started being generated while he was stuck in a dripstone cave trying not to get impaled. Kay feels something nudging her and hears a little squeak, then looks down to see a little cyan axolotl looking up at her. Overwhelmed by cuteness, she scoops it up and starts cuddling with it, and Steve quickly crafts a bucket and hands it to Kay, telling her that if she wants to keep her new friend alive, it needed to go in the bucket. Kay gladly obliges and names it Snowflake, and once they reach the ores finish smelting, they return to the surface to check on Archer.

When they emerge from the cave, Archer excitedly approaches them and tells them about his discoveries, which Alex is very happy to hear about and offers to teach him how to use it. Steve and Kay go off to build their base, and Alex crafts a few target blocks to train Archer with. She tells him how to throw it and how to aim properly and stuff, and he does surprisingly well, which Alex takes notice of. She makes a remark at his natural skill, and he replies by explaining that he saw how the drowned was attacking him and just did something similar to that. After they train a little while longer, they notice a pillager patrol and Alex tells him to use his new skills to kick their butts, saying that she’ll be close behind him with her bow. After killing all the pillagers, he gets his crossbow, which Alex congratulates him on and shows him how to use it, later explaining that he could use fireworks as ammo once they get gunpowder, paper, and dye.

Alex and Archer return to Steve and Kay to see them struggling to build a house. They’ve got a frame up made of stripped spruce wood, and they have a little farm and and some sugar cane off to the side, but they’re arguing about how to build the rest of the house. Kay is trying to say that a cool castle made of stone bricks would be awesome, while Steve is arguing that her idea is way over the top and they should just do a cute little cabin reminiscent of a villager house. Archer jumps in and says that deepslate bricks would probably look nice, and they could still do a cute little cabin and invest more of their resources into a nice underground base. Kay and Steve shrug and agree that that’s a good idea, and it’s back to the caves to get some deepslate.

While they’re exploring, Kay is awkwardly trying to shove her new diamond armor on while she walks, when suddenly they approach an ancient city. Steve says to tread carefully because they might spawn the warden. They start to explore, when Kay activates the first skulk shrieker. Kay freaks out, but Steve reassures her by saying that it takes three skulk shriekers being activated before the warden actually spawns. As the explore, Archer accidentally steps on the second shrieker, and not a moment later, Steve himself trips and sets off the third one. The group goes back and forth trying to determine “was that three? That couldn’t be three, right?” When the warden climbs up out of the ground and Archer quickly squeaks “yep, that was three!” before the group starts running in opposite directions. Alex yells that they have to avoid stepping on any more shriekers because multiple wardens can exist at the same time. Yada yada, they sneak around and attack the warden from all directions, and boom, warden defeated. They quickly exit the ancient city, grab the deepslate they need, and get the hell out of there.

Once they finish building their house, Steve mentions that he grabbed some obsidian before they left, so they can start their next adventure; navigating the nether. They build the portal, Alex gives them a quick overview of what they might run into while they’re exploring, and to stay close to them. They enter the nether and start out in a nether wastes biome, which causes both Steve and Alex to breathe a sigh of relief because the nether waste is arguably the easiest nether biome to survive in. Alex points to the nether gold ore on the walls and ground and tells them to mine it because they’ll need it for bartering with piglins and avoiding pissing the piglins off. Archer asks where they can find piglins, and Steve explains that they can sometimes be found in groups exploring the nether, but it’ll be easiest to find them in bastions, preferably treasure bastions because they have a lot of cool treasure.

After a bit of mining and exploring, they discover a treasure bastion, and Kay and Archer immediately run in, excited for all the treasure they’ll find. However, they immediately get approached by a piglin brute trying to kill them. Steve shouts and says he was trying to warn them about brutes, and Lay goes to take a swing at the brute. However, she soon realizes that she could probably get him to stop fighting by taking his axe. Therefore, that’s exactly what she does, albeit with a bit of struggling. The brute kind of does a double take, and looks at Kay with surprise and admiration. As a way to show his admiration, he begs to befriend the group, offering to help them navigate the bastion and get ender pearls. Kay asks if he has a name, he says no, and they decide to name him Ender. As promised, Ender helps them navigate the bastion, keeping other piglins and piglin brutes from attacking the group and helping them get gold, lodestones, soul speed enchanted books, and even some netherite, though he says that they’ll have to mine for some as well. Then, once they’re done, he leads them to a warped forest biome to get ender pearls. Archer asks why they didn’t just trade with piglins, and Ender explains that it’s not the most reliable method and could end up just being a major waste of gold. Alex gives them a quick debriefing about the fact that endermen attack people who make eye contact with them and that projectiles don’t work to fight them, so Archer will have to use his trident to do melee attacks. There’s a montage of them fighting the endermen, and soon, they have all the ender pearls they need.

Once they’re done killing endermen, Steve explains that they’ll need to go to a nether fortress in order to get blaze rods that will be turned into blaze powder. Ender offers to help them, and after a while of searching, they find a fortress. However, it’s in a soul sand valley, so Alex warns them that there will be more wither skeletons than normal and that they’re incredibly dangerous. Alex says that she can hold off the wither skeletons with her bow, and Archer says that he can help out with his crossbow. As they’re fighting Archer manages to get a wither skull, and Alex excitedly explains they’re pretty rare and if he can get three of them, they can spawn the wither, which is a difficult boss but will drop a nether star that they can use to build a beacon. Once they finish fighting, Archer explains to Kay and Steve what Alex explained to him. Kay excitedly announces that they should spawn it, and while Steve is a bit apprehensive at first, he agrees as long as they’re careful. So, they spawn the wither, almost die, Kay has a panic attack from almost dying, and they get the nether star! Once they’re finished, they leave the end, but sadly Ender can’t follow them because he’ll get zombified.

Since they had to build a new nether portal, they end up spawning pretty far away from their base, but Steve and Alex are able to figure out where they need to go. As they’re walking, Archer pulls out an ominous potion and says that he got it from that pillager patrol he got his crossbow from and asks what it does. Steve tries to explain that it will give him a bad omen effect that could spawn a raid if they go into a village. Not knowing the weight of that situation if it were to happen, he says that it sounds really cool and drinks it, conveniently just as they’re approaching a village. As they hear the loud sound of a horn, Steve quickly demands that they go into a house and set their spawn in one of the beds. Once they do that, they quickly run back outside to see pillagers approaching the village, as well as a bunch of villagers scrambling to get inside and two iron golems charging to attack. A little after the first wave, Archer find a pink sheep and affectionately names it curly, but Kay snaps that he can fawn over his new pet later and that they need to fight right now. About halfway through the raid, Kay is killed by a swarm of vexes, and that’s when the major twist is revealed. Alex lunges forward to grab Kay’s inventory, and through the window of one of the villager houses, she sees Kay hyperventilating and sobbing with her chest to her knees. Alex rushes inside to see what’s going on, tells Kay that she managed to grab most of her inventory other than some random seeds and mob drops like bones and gunpowder, then starts to comfort Kay. For a while, Kay is too distraught to speak, and after a moment, Steve and Archer finish the raid and rush in to check on Kay as well. Once they comfort her and tell her that everything is okay now, Kay reveals her big secret, aka the big twist of the story.

After a very emotional moment, the four start their final adventure- killing the Ender Dragon. There’s a quick little montage of them following the eyes of ender as they float through the sky, but just as they’re about to dig down to reach the stronghold, Herobrine spawns, ready to fight. Steve and Alex try to charge at him, but he blasts them back with a single lift of his arm because he’s just stupidly overpowered like that. Kay and Archer then try to attack him, but he blasts Archer back and physically pushes Kay back, asking if she was actually capable of helping defeat the Ender Dragon knowing her past in a sneerful tone. Kay is at a loss for words, but luckily, Archer is able to sneak behind him and blast him with a firework, which causes him to be disoriented and give Steve time to start slashing at him while Alex helps Kay up. Once Kay is up, the four of them attack Herobrine using a strategy similar to how they fought the Warden, and soon, he’s not dead, but he’s down and unable to fight. Kay steps on his chest and points her axe at him, telling him that this would be a good time to start begging for mercy. He obliges and starts begging, saying he’ll do anything to satisfy her. Kay says that he needs to give Ender the opportunity to travel to the overworld and that if he ever gives them trouble again, it’s on fucking sight if you know what I mean (she’s gonna kill him). Then, they dig down to the stronghold.

Once they reach the portal and activate it, Steve and Alex say that they’re gonna jump in and get a head start on getting rid of the end crystals, and that Kay and Archer can jump in whenever they’re ready. Standing at the edge of the portal, Kay takes a deep breath and Archer grabs her hand. He says “the end?” And Kay replies with a nod and says “the end.” In reference to the two Xbox achievements you get when you enter the end and kill the dragon. They enter the portal, and the final battle begins.

When they enter the portal, they see that Steve and Alex have just finished breaking the end crystals, and that the dragon is currently spewing acidic dragons breath at them. Over the roar of the dragon, Archer tells Kay that he’s gonna try and shoot the dragon with his crossbow while she needs to watch for it to perch so she can get some melee hits in. Once she starts doing it, Steve soon catches up to her and starts attacking the dragon as well. Soon, the dragon is at low enough health that one critical hit would be enough to kill her. The dragon perches, Steve steps aside and tells Kay to do the honors, and she finally kills the Ender Dragon for the first time in her life. Once they go through the portal to go home. Kay is faced with the end poem, which leaves Kay in tears by the end of it. Once she spawns back into the overworld, Archer asks her what’s wrong, which she responds to by saying that she’s fine and just thought the end poem was really beautiful.

Timeskip

As per any movie or tv show, there’s gonna be a timeskip at the end showing how everyone is doing since the action has settled down. In this case, the timeskip is 5000 days later (Minecraft days obvi). The base is much bigger and has multiple houses and farms. One of these houses is made of terracotta, implying that they eventually did explore that badlands biome. Alex is filling up a creeper hole in the distance, and Steve and Kay are sparring with netherite swords. Steve accidentally kills Kay, but luckily her inventory was empty so all that dropped was her sword. In a panic, Steve runs into the terracotta house to see if Kay is okay, and while she’s a bit shaken up and catching her breath, she’s a-ok. Suddenly, Archer bursts in, tightly clutching a rolled up map. Kay asks what it is, and Archer explains that there’s some sort of new structure called a trial chamber, and that he really wanted the two of them to explore it together. Kay and Steve both go outside, and Kay asks Steve and Alex if they’re coming with, and they both say that they can trust that Kay and Archer can handle themselves, and to just make sure that they remember to bring totems, shulker boxes, fireworks, and some nether quartz ore in case their elytra break on the way (there’s mending on their elytra so it’ll heal when they collect xp). Kay and Archer tightly hug Steve and Alex, and without thinking, they shout a quick “thanks mom, thanks dad!” Before running off in the direction the map is pointing in, which Steve and Alex are both beyond happy to hear.

The Twist

Disclaimer: skip to the post credits scene section if you don’t want spoilers

Anyway, the big twist is that this isn’t Kay’s first time in a Minecraft world, and that’s why she’s so much more experienced than Archer. She had a giant, beautiful base in a badlands biome, and she hadn’t been in a Minecraft world since the Nether Update. She was really proud of her world, and since she was in her netherite armor full time, that’s why her avatar had socks but not shoes. She died in the fight against the Ender Dragon, and the way she died she finds really embarrassing; she was standing too close to one of the end crystals when she blew it up and got blasted into the void. Since it was a hardcore world, she didn’t respawn and lost her world. From there, she kind of just floated around in a comatose state for who knows how long until she spawned into that world with Archer. Due to this past trauma, she craves adventure but is also extremely afraid of death, having a panic attack whenever her health drops down any lower than five hearts. Luckily, once she told everyone this secret of hers, they accepted her. This is also why Steve let her get the final hit on the dragon.

Post Credits Scene

So, the first part of the credits before the post credits scene is basically just a slideshow of the different voice actors and directors in the Minecraft font being listed, one name on each slide. The background of each slide shows the voice actors’ respective characters in some sort of action pose in various biomes (of course, Kay is gonna be in a badlands biome). Also, since I feel like we can’t have a Minecraft movie without it, this part of the credits is gonna be paired with Don’t Mine At Night as the song.

One day, the four of them wake up with their gamer tags above their heads. Steve explains what’s happening, but is also kind of confused on why it’s happening just out of the blue. Since Steve and Alex are npc’s in this world, their gamer tags are just Steve and Alex. Kay and Archer on the other hand… their gamer tags are a bit more embarrassing (their gamer tags are in the second paragraph of the characters section). Of course, they start laughing at each other, and at the same time are both trying to defend themselves. Soon this ends up in them getting into a physical altercation, and Alex separates them, telling them to calm down. One of them says “yeah, calm down *gamer tag*” which triggers the other to lunge at them, and it cuts to the rest of the credits.

The rest of the credits is just like any other list of credits, and it will have pigstep by Lena Raine playing.

Be sure to give me any opinions or feedback! I really wanna know how you guys feel about my version of the Minecraft movie! Thanks for reading!

[bad-cos-ideas]

fall damage gets added but when your creature falls it from a large height it makes the "aeough" minecraft steve noise

sorry this blog is for bad ideas, not great ideas

[crewfu]

Hi ! I'm new around here, do you or anyone else have a crewfu primer to get to know the main people a bit more? Thank you! Xo

this is a big ask but i will do my best:

So we will start with “Crewfu” itself. I think the more used/accepted name for the group is the Morning Lobby. They are a group of streamers/content creators that met through playing Among Us. I'm not 100% on the start date but it was some time in Oct/Nov 2020 - April/May 2021. They had a reunion in June 2022 and continue to play Among Us every Wednesday since. I'll write a short synopsis for each current regular but the otv and friends wiki has a great list of the people who played in the morning lobbies. I also included some links to clips of some of the streamers that I really like.

Crewfu vods/videos I would recommend:

Crewfu panel at twitchcon 2022 edited / full vod

Crewfu plays pico park edited: hafu Dumbdog / full vod (steve)

Hafu’s birthday stream full vod

Hafu: She is the crew’s Mom. She set up the original morning lobbies daily for months. She’s a legend in the gaming community and has been streaming/playing games competitively for over 10 years. Choose any competitive game over this time period and Hafu has probably mastered it. She is married to another streamer called dogdog and they live in Las Vegas with their dog Jubbs.

dakotaz (dk): One of the og members of the morning lobby. He helped set up the lobbies with Hafu at the start due to the frustration of trying to find and play in lobbies at the height of Among Us popularity. Currently streams Fortnite almost daily. He has an alt stream where he sometimes streams Among Us and Valorant and any other games he feels like. He hits those, he's in his 30s, and he's petty all the time. He briefly lived in Vegas but he is a true Florida man and moved back after a short time.

5up: His twitter bio says “rank 1 among us player” He was a rival to Hafu in the og lobbies and was known for his big brain Among Us plays. He also acted as the substitute teacher during the original lobby run and held things together after hafu stopped playing among us in 2021. He commissioned a team to create a custom Among Us map called the submarine map. He plays a lot of competitive games currently like League of Legends, Valorant, TFT as well as MCC. He also travels a lot and he has a lot of friends in many different streaming circles like OTV&F, the minecraft community, etc.

stevesuptic: He was “poached” from a ChilledChaos lobby where he met Hafu and Dumbdog for the first time. He impressed Hafu with not only how funny he was but also with how bad he was at the game. He makes and produces his own music under the artist name "SUGR?" He's been a part of too many youtube channels to list but is probably most well known for Sugar Pine 7. He currently streams valorant and variety content pretty much daily. In May of 2023 he announced that he is roommates with Janet/xChocoBars, another member of the Morning Lobby. In July 2023 he got his own kitten named Olympus or Oly for short.

DumbDog: Despite his name he is generally known for being good at most games. He met Hafu through NorthernLion on the NLSS. He was a semi-regular participant in the original morning lobbies but I think he’s the only person who has been in every single lobby since the reunion. He recently bought a house and adopted a cute husky puppy named Artemis or Artie for short. He is a frequent member of the variety lobbies and plays with Steve and their group almost daily. He is a furry and as part of a sub goal he commissioned a fursuit and it was finished this year. 

xChocoBars or Janet- She is a Canadian variety streamer and a regular in both current and original lobbies.  She plays lots of group games with friends and is often addicted to certain games like APEX and TFT and streams them a lot. She has 2 cats named Hazel and Baton and recently became roommates with Steve.

Angelskimi or Kimi (formerly known as plushys): She is an ASMR artist who was a regular in the og lobbies and plays almost weekly now. She is a pretty irregular streamer but does upload on her ASMR youtube channel weekly. Despite her claims of being “so angel” she is an innuendo queen. She lives in LA with her dog Pix and her cat Snowball.

Ellum: He is one half of daft and dafter with Koji being the other half. He is one of the regulars from the UK. He calls himself the smoothest brain on twitch which may or may not be true. He streams variety games on most weekdays. He lives in London with his girlfriend (CaptainPuffy) and they have a corgi named Pudding together.

koji: He is the other half of daft and dafter. He is known for being a very wholesome streamer. His content oscillates from really cozy games to horror with occasional group gaming streams with friends. He is vegan and lives with his longtime girlfriend Abby and their 2 dogs Miso and Bugs.

Smajor / Smajor1995 / dangthatsalongname / Scott: He currently plays quite frequently in the morning lobby but his specialty outside of that is minecraft content. He is on the Empires server, organizes MCC, the life series, etc. I personally watch more of his youtube content than his streams. He lives in England but he is from Scotland.

Junkyard129: He is a new regular to the morning lobbies and has been playing every week for the last several months. He is the oldest person in the lobby and is often the butt of a lot of jokes because of it. He has probably been creating content longer than anyone else in the lobby as youtube says his first video was uploaded 16 years ago!! Currently streams variety gaming solo and with the Chilled group quite often. He also has regular streams from his woodworking shop where he makes cutting boards, coasters, etc to sell. He has a special dance that he performs when he gets raided.

vGumiho: She is a variety v-tuber who currently plays both in the morning lobby and with the Steve variety game group. She started becoming a more frequent regular when the crew started playing Valorant but plays most weeks for the Among Us lobbies currently. She has a dog named Kazu. She organizes ppsat lobbies which used to be weekly but are less frequent now.

Ovilee: She is an esports commentator who currently plays with the morning lobby most weeks. She also streams and she presented the morning lobby panel at twitch con.

[dudescape]

postal dude and minecraft Steve are the same height.

[molqr]

just remembered when i was a kid playing minecraft on my cousins ipad and i would turn the volume loud as fuck and go on creative mode and fall from massive heights just to hear the loud CRUNCH sound of steve falling and breaking alllll his bones over and over and over. all the adults in the room were Uncomfortable.

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[enderwoah]

we are at the precipice. this is the closest it will ever be. there is less than an hour in the vote and it has been a consistent 50/50 for the past however-long. when i began this post, quackity was leading joe by about 40 votes.

please. please. i am literally on my knees, begging. vote for joe hills. he is the epitome of what a tumblr sexyman in the cryptid category is supposed to be. quackity dabbles in every category of tumblr sexyman, but joe hills is fully submerged in one and does it right.his cryptid energy knows no bounds. there are no headcanons of him just being normal in the grand scheme of the universe, and if there are, it's because everyone else isn't normal and he's, like, a sentient player in a minecraft character's body.

he crafts poetry for almost every single one of his episodes and weaves the hum of the universe into every line. he takes hermitcraft apart thread by thread and crochets it into something new, something beautiful. he made a giant pinball machine with the deep field image made on the side using minecraft blocks. he wrote a poem about how the thought cub's base from season 8 was a gaping maw that lacked an upper jaw, which was so tma-coded it was unreal, among other poems about cub's freakshow of a base (i don't even care if you don't vote for him, read those damn poems). he has alter egos to rival the bursonas, one of which, beetlejhost, is very explicitly a tumblr sexyman. i mean, look at this guy (and etho)! not to mention just joe hills in general! look at this fanart they've seximanified a guy who's minecraft skin is literally Just Steve with a different shirt and hair!

he has cyptid energy up the wazoo! for the tumblr sexyman poll, people have started headcanoning the tumblr checkmarks (you know, the ones he didn't have until a few days ago; the things that exist only in the meta-verse of tumblr and no other canon anywhere else) as either eyes or a halo. this is not a one-time thing. they turned him into a biblically accurate nightmare with his TUMBLR CHECKMARKS for a TUMBLR SEXYMAN POLL.

quackity has no such cryptid energy. the closest thing he gets is being traumatised and also that one time that he showed up riding skeleton horses in a shoddy assassin's creed cosplay. or that time he appeared in fundy's dream, which, by the way, was a RECONSTRUCTION OF Q IN FUNDY'S MIND. NOT actually q.

not to mention joe hills dipping into the pathetic category. he's cleo's best friend, he is the wet cat to her pitbull, he is the wet paper bag to her stolen lunch. he is the universe's punching bag. he is campaigning—campaigning—to win a tumblr sexyman poll. he has spent real American dollars to win the vote from people. he says 'retumbl' instead of 'reblog.' if that isn't the height of patheticness, i don't know what is.

the most quackity has going for him is his patheticness, but what was his response to all this on twitter? a silly disregard for the seriousness of the poll. he was acting suave about it. cool. didn't care. that's not sexyman. there's no ENERGY.

this post has taken 45 minutes to write, and in that amount of time, the gap between them has shortened to six votes. vote. every number counts. quackity has six million subscribers. joe hills has 160k. joe hills has one of the biggest content creators on twitch on the ropes. tango said he didn't care too much about the polls because he figured they were just going to be a popularity contest. help us win this. help us prove him wrong.

let's show everyone the joe hills difference.

[mortissanguis]

Went for my mental health walk but took physical damage like minecraft Steve falling from a great height oof ouch oof ugh-

[data-expunged-0]

guys this is also important but less important than the body pillow poll

In rivals of aether, both Steve from Minecraft and Springtrap are in the game. Here's a picture of them side-by-side:

do you see what's so important?

If you're like me and have nothing better to do, then you've remembered that Steve is 6' tall.

SPRINGTRAP IS DOUBLE HIS HEIGHT.

THAT EQUALS TO 12' TALL.

SPRINGTRAP IS TWELVE GODAMN FEET TALL.