#mine is from the very end of 2009 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amyoffline · 5 months ago

Text

It's done! The outline for—

—is below the cut. The goal of this project is to explore the following phenomena with as much context and nuance as I can manage, tracing our history over the past 15 years:

What about us, and what about Dan and Phil, drew in and continues to draw in a very specific audience. If they are a ranch metaphor, we are a pizza metaphor 🥗🍕🫶🏻

Why we were Like That™, by which I mean so parasocially invested in them that we became, at times, the most annoying people on the internet. Much of that reputation is undeserved, and the videos on the phandom to date have been strongly negative. So, uh, I guess I'm going to put my face on camera and (mostly) defend us.

Reblog, share in your Discord servers, reply, or send me messages/anon asks with feedback or resources if you have any! Especially if your experience being in this fandom community has been dramatically different from mine. There are TIT spoilers near the end of the outline, but I'm not tagging because certain individuals seem to be lurking over there. Thank you!

Chapters:

Full outline:

introduction

cold open

felt personally attacked by jonathan haidt's last press tour

showed up to the phrenaissance 11 months late

had an unexpectedly strong response to their new content, needed to find out why

what the hell are we doing here?

- phenomenology (academics are professionally insufferable) - research question 1: what drew the audience in? - research question 2: why were we Like That™?

what we're NOT doing here

- a strict content analysis or "wow we sucked" video - providing sources for things best left uncirculated, thank you

reflexivity (personal biases)

- american zillennial in public health - in the youtube audience by spring 2010 - lurking in the phandom on tumblr 2013-2015, back* since 2019 - fan behavior i did and did not engage in

(----): truly necessary background information, i swear

(pop) cultural trends, tech, and their intersection

- nerd/geek identity and the first online weirdos - broadcast tv & the music industry vs the internet - defining "emo" - blogging & vlogging - early internet comedy

broader social/economic trends

- so the U.S. economy collapsed in 2007 - a decade that sucked except for rom-coms and square enix games - the flip/slide phone + digital camera + mp3 player loadout

(05-8): early youtube and early phil

youtube: a great video uploader without a clear purpose

the content on the website

- crossposts, corporations, and creative/social outlets - omg guys it's amazing phil - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: justin bieber

the audience of "early adopters"

contemporary social media sites and forums

(2009): origin story

a wild dan appears… in the comments

the global constant that is teenagers being messy online

daring my old school district to sue me

- "one town's war on gay teens" (literal rolling stone headline!) - epidemiology 101: rates of… ugh… "unaliving" oneself - ways kids cope when it seems no adults will help them

the earliest days of dan & phil

- hello internet + pinof - a chronically overexamined timeline - file deleted ---* so how big WAS the audience at the time? ---* acceptable funny/edgy language was just different

contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: lucas cruikshank

omg it's meeeeeee

- how amy & friends were using youtube - ways i was just destined to end up here - being in social environments with peers 3-6 years older

(2010): is it "twenty-ten" or "two thousand ten?"

youtube is a platform about to explode in popularity

- the algorithm before it was The Algorithm™, lost site features - let's take a trip through the wayback machine :3c - actual dan & phil content in 2010 - the green brothers found vidcon - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: darren criss

social media: also about to explode in popularity

- facebook was cool at the time, believe it or not - law of equivalent exchange: 2010 amy cringe compilation - the birth of instagram and pinterest - youtube slash livejournal (the first phanfics… sort of) - shockfic and its place in the overton window

the beginning of "the great rewiring" as haidt calls it

- ways social media is about to dramatically change - third spaces become online spaces - confounding variable: changing expectations of teens

(2011): the end of an era, the start of an age

a very long tangent on fandom and pop culture

cultural exchange

counterculture and teenagers as concepts

the first british invasion: the 1960s

- beatlemania and its descendents - moral panic about the virtue of tween/teen girls - tv/film/fashion trends being imported from the uk - in parallel, star trek births the modern fandom

the second british invasion: the 1980s

- synth/new pop that came out of the punk movement (hi, emo?) - confined mainly to music and fashion - cool britannia

it's harry freakin' potter

- absolute titan of pop culture influence - the rise of online fandom: examining the horrors ---* what is "wank" ---* flaming, sockpuppeting, and general cyberbullying ---* censorship: ffnet purges, boldthrough, & strikethrough ---* other fandom shenanigans of the time (yaoi paddles, anyone?)

harry potter's over. now what?

- for those who needed coming-of-age hero's journeys ---* twilight and YA dystopia waiting in the wings ---* some pretty iconic tv shows start or hit their stride ---* the mcu's phase one ---* takeaway: the rise of "geek culture" generally - for those who just wanted to go to hogwarts ---* doctor who & the wider world of bbc programming ---* british vloggers, you say? where? on youtube? brb--

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

dan & phil in the first half of 2011

- a continuation of 2010… for now - the videos - british pancakes as a case study of bad fan behavior

streaming and social media

- the birth of snapchat, twitch, and younow - netflix starts developing original programming - multi-channel networks (mcns) - digitour

dan & phil in the second half of 2011

- and they were roommates (omg they were roommates) - fantastic foursome - youtube glitches out - the super amazing project - the first proper baking video + wait, is that the bbc?

~ baking interlude 1: christmas cookies ~

the family sugar cookie (sorry, delia)

amy's 2011

(2012): why is anyone nostalgic for this

the transition from desktop to mobile

- massive growth in smartphone ownership 2011-2015 - things one might do on mobile one might not do on desktop - non-online ways smartphones changed being a youth™

what is tumblr and why is my child using it

- how the site is meant to work - fandom, memes, aesthetics, and SOME public figures - want to be anxious and depressed in peace? come to tumblr - this site seems a little……… gay ---* tumblr's very queer, very neurodiverse userbase ---* legacy media representation in 2012: bad! ---* actual academic research on tumblr users (yes, it exists) - the tumblr experience for non-native english speakers

amy becomes a vibrating mass of panic and paranoia

- in context of the above - additional rant about the american public school system

the growing dan & phil audience

- investigating the origin of the term "phannie" - more collaborations = more viewers - more video uploads = more /invested/ viewers - younow and interacting with fans - watch time replaces clicks in the algorithm

online etiquette, or lack thereof

- mid-transition from the 2000s to the 2010s - "professional internet celebrity" is still basically brand-new - lack of boundaries - various ways to be an asshole online - unsupervised kids simply do not engage in best practices

the end of 2012

- dan and phil move to london - wikipedia vandalism - tiptoeing around a top contender for the phandom's greatest sin - super amazing project DONE, now it's BBC RADIO TIME

(2013): arguably the most important year

- wait. what's that six-second video platform over there--

[amy's curated vine compilation]

- a new wave of internet comedians (read: future youtubers) - the zillennial lexicon - other platforms start emphasizing short-form video content - magcon

emo is BACK - well, sort of

- fob hiatus ends, mcr breaks up. my god. you had to be there - more open ties to nerd/geek culture than in the 2000s - these things once again intersect at dan and phil

dan and phil in the first half of 2013

- siri, what's a "sex symbol?" why are you booing me i'm right-- - d&p are everywhere - radio shows, interviewing, hosting - youtube uploads on their individual channels

rapidly changing cultural attitudes towards queerness

- gay marriage will be legal in places other than canada soon - a lot of assimilationist rhetoric though tbh - parallels to the pop feminism of the decade

hey kids, let's talk about compulsory heterosexuality!!

- what is it and why do people do it - academic, tumblr-level, and anecdotal research - the dannies, the phillies, and the phannies

amy

- the closet™ - mental health stigma - 2013 dnp posts from my main blog

dan and phil in the second half of 2013

- subscriber milestones, vidcon - joint content before the gaming channel - phandom starts having a major presence outside tumblr

(2014): achievement unlocked!

it's time to talk about rpf

- definitions (a chance to be annoyingly pedantic) - academic perspectives and fan discourse on the ethics - when the subjects clearly aren't fine with it - so… we can acknowledge "shipping phan" was different, right? ---* sometimes the subjects are fine* with it, actually ---* how dan and phil started to handle the shipping ---* obvious differences between phan and other rpf ships ---* sharing my favorite passages as a first-time phanfic reader

dan and phil in 2014

- wikipedia vandalism 2: electric boogaloo - bbc request show → internet takeover - the 7 second challenge - youtube content, subscriber milestones, rewind - cons and award shows

tumblr reaches the peak of its influence

- yahoo's attempts to monetize the userbase - buzzfeed and aggregators steal our jokes and bait our clicks - legacy media dangles carrots and uses us for free marketing - the legend of korra breaks TV precedent, almost out of nowhere - the tumblr user experience ---* on mobile, without xkit ---* on desktop, with xkit ---* 2014 dnp posts from my main blog

gamergate and its long shadow

- trolling, renewed and revamped - algorithms push increasingly extreme content - the broad conservative backlash conglomerate - increased normalization of conspiracism in general

my greatest sin [not clickbait] [very funny]

- so, circling back to comphet… - the actual story

anyway, let's talk about danandphilgames

- a star is born: dil howlter - different types of gaming content on youtube at the time - why did 17yo amy not subscribe? well…

~ baking interlude 2: chocolate cupcakes ~

make your own frosting. it freezes well

roasting myself further

(2015): it's not queerbaiting when it's real people

facebook "pivots to video"

- mark zuckerberg lied. water is wet - causes other platforms to REALLY double down on video - the birth of musical.ly - corporate-branded creators (read: future youtubers)

queerbaiting enters mainstream public consciousness

- academic origins - early fannish and acafan writing - johnlock, destiel, and sterek - statistics 101: type i error, type ii error, and queerbait

dan, phil, and the phandom

- bbc, cons, & the brits - danandphilcrafts - phan conspiracies ---* japhan ---* body language experts ---* timeline truthers ---* floor plan investigators ---* no but seriously imagine it - regular youtube uploads ---* solo content ---* joint content ---* subscriber milestones, rewind - tatinof uk and tabinof ---* on "selling out" ---* revisiting the statistics 101 lesson: now with real people! ---* never meet your heroes (unless they're dan and phil)

amy's (temporary) exit from the phandom

- it's legal adulthood with a steel chair!! - growing discomfort with some fans' behavior - 2015 dnp posts from my main blog - the closer: final fantasy vii

(2016): season finale

vine's imminent demise

- content platforms behaving badly - content creators behaving badly

youtube after "the great rewiring" (as haidt calls it)

- version 1.0 of the modern youtube algorithm ---* deep neural networks for dummies ---* what's holding creators accountable, or not - advertising and sponsorships ---* basically every child and youth™ is watching now ---* the battle for our attention ---* regulators start to crack down on undisclosed ads - the rise of drama/tea content (and later, channels) ---* youtubers are now seen as regular celebrities ---* dan and phil as the butt of other youtubers' jokes ---* baiting the phandom for engagement

tatinof us and aus

- a proven new model for live show tours - show & documentary released to youtube red (now premium) - [sigh] the tour bus

sea change in online fandom

- the newer, sometimes queerer media in korra's wake ---* better and more representation in live-action tv shows ---* voltron (i'm sorry!!!) ---* the mystic messenger craze ---* alice oseman & heartstopper - the new dynamics of #discourse ---* proship is to anti as phannie is to phanti ---* the bad behaviors of the 00s get a new coat of paint ---* new, though: fans harassing creators ---* a personal note on ace discourse

dan and phil presence off-tour

- the internet takeover ends - regular content, subscriber milestones

so. uh. current events.

- brexit - sorry the united states is a font of chaos - ripple effects

closing out the year

- amy finally gets an anxiety diagnosis and treatment! hurray! - dapgo, rewind - bbc radio awards & the boncas - gamingmas

(2017): time for a rebrand

tangent - sit down!!! buckle up!!! today's lecture is on PSIs & PSRs!!!

"parasocial" as defined by the current zeitgeist

- summing up youtubers' and laypeople's opinions (not dan's) - an unfairly negative stance overall, imo

older academic literature

- the 1956 paper (yes, 1956) - with traditional celebrities - with fictional characters

current academic literature

- with youtubers and other content creators - positive effects on the audience - negative effects on the audience - broader societal implications

fandom spaces as a parasocial experience

- parasocial and truly social interactions with each other - phandom as a supportive, welcoming space for oddballs - what research i can find about neurospicy folks, + anecdotes - me and everyone else on planet earth move to discord

inherent transactionality

- the nature of celebrity - positive effects on creators - negative effects on creators

reexamining early phandom through a parasocial lens

- the good, the bad, and the ugly - the role audience demographics played in all of this - entering, exiting, and remaining in the phandom

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

vine is well and truly dead

- some had prepared to become primarily youtubers (smart) - some move to musical.ly, insta, facebook, or snap (less so)

the sun sets on danisnotonfire

- i am very normal about dan's hobbit hair, i swear. - the last dnp content before the rebrand - new apartment, new floor plan investigations

adpocalypse now

- youtube has become the village elder of platforms ---* increased scrutiny, increased responsibility ---* some youtubers had been getting away with !#$!#@% - the scandals ---* pewdiepie + logan paul ---* elsagate and being "family- friendly" (read: ad-friendly) - censorship and monetization ---* adsense revenue goes down as advertisers pull out ---* the glory days of posting whatever and making bank are over

amazingphil and ~daniel howell~

- youtube & younow content - that week in march - vacations and conventions - conjoined baking and the concept of a "soft launch" - daniel & depression → dan as a mental health advocate - truth bombs, ii announcement, rewind

(2018): the phandom vs the hiatus they told us not to worry about

interactive introverts

- "giving the people what they want" - in hindsight… - let's talk about dnp fans from the global south

youtuber burnout

- it wasn't just dan: (more examples than header fits) - the old model was simply not sustainable - newer contributing factors - research on burnout, plus personal anecdotal experience

other dan and phil videos

- phil's solo videos - gay and not proud - hometown showdown - other joint videos - phil's #shorts (sounds normal in american english)

panini updates

- vaccines soon, uwu??? + entrenched misinformation - pros and cons of remote work - pros and cons of remote school - pros and cons of remote socializing

you will get through this night

- younger me really could have used this book too, dan - thoughts as a professional in a related field - reflecting on some of my more unique circumstances

daring my old school district to sue me (again!!)

- updates: racism and transphobia - updates: right-wing freaks take over the school board again - residents vote against improving mental health resources

(2022): dan returns (still not on fire)

hey so politics are um getting worse

- americans lose the right to reproductive freedom ---* the quickest of histories on where these freaks came from ---* this shit kills people. - trans kids become the punching bag of culture war discourse ---* fuck off! (gently) ---* fuck off! (i have a knife) ---* checking in on terf island

we're all doooooooooooooooomed

- dystopia daily my beloved - the style, the substance, the metatextual analysis-- - not everyone loved it, though. why? - the promo - dan on tour + sister daniel

amy's 2022

- i got covid - then i got long covid: brain fog, pots-like symptoms

some more news (i will work on my warmbo impression)

- dan joins tiktok + danisnotinteresting uploads - phil: uploading less, busy doing remote crisis management - twitter is acquired by an idiot jackass - heartstopper on netflix! ---* the show and what it means to people ---* drama (revisiting "real people can't queerbait") ---* why this has anything to do with the phandom

~ baking interlude 4: cinnamon rolls ~

- lovingly, recipe changes and corrections :) - if i have an opinion about anything, it's sweet yeasted breads

(2023): the phrenaissance

phil

- joins tiktok! - youtube uploads through september - what even is phannie tiktok. i've never used this app. help.

dystopia daily b-sides

- dan memes of 2022 - the 2023 dystopia daily episodes

amy: the doctoral candidacy process

- purgatory, privilege, poverty, and free pizza - checking in on what this is like outside the united states

pretending the panini is over

- complaining about post-adpocalypse censorship standards - honest take about "giving up" on covid - who gets the short end of the stick

the youtube algorithm is BAD and UNINTELLIGENT, actually,

- unhinged rant about not hearing about the gaming rephrival - because i was offline from other platforms. like, @amyoffline.

pov: you are a phannie (not me) on october 15th

- what i was doing on october 15th - saying goodbye forever, spooky week, and november - gamingmas - phil uploads through december

(2024): fifteen years of terrible, terrible influence

hey what the fuck is going on

- dan and phil ---* joint and phil videos ---* jokes they never would've made ten years ago ---* a collection of emotional posts about how far they've come ---* people want fun and silly content again. we'll get to why ---* nostalgia, hope, and other warm and fuzzy feelings - the phandom ---* ancient parasocial attachments, reactivated instantly ---* people are way more normal now. let's discuss why ---* tumblr vs twitter vs tiktok phandom

we're all doomed, youtube version

- my thoughts - thoughts on "dan should/shouldn't" do video essays - i can't objectively evaluate anything he makes bc [gunshots]

terrible influence tour

- legally phlonde - the concept: healing one's inner child / taking it back - we gotta talk about phannies in the global south again - no but seriously imagine it? ---*ogres are like onions, they have LAYERS ---* [placeholder for whatever does(n't) happen]

anglosphere current events once again

- the likely us tiktok ban - the tories get fired - [placeholder for whichever hell americans manifest] - witnessing genocide and feeling powerless

ffx full-circle moment to the intro of this video essay

- the night i found out they came back - why i am doing this, now with context - reflections on a nearly 15-year (parasocial) relationship

whatever youtube uploads we get during fall/december

AMY SEES TIT (nov 14)

- the vibes at the phamily reunion - buying merch to apologize for eternal ublock origin use - how much should i document?? (not during the show) - phanspiracies confirmed - atlanta confessions - favorite bits - the alternate universe where i went to tatinof and/or ii

(2025): the horrors persist, but so do we

whatever 2025 content is out while i'm still working on this

our parasocial social club

- let me be philosophytube for a second ---* every interaction has a parasocial element ---* what are we obligated to do as a phandom, actually? ---* as people who parasocially care about these two dorks? ---* what else should we be doing socially to be at our happiest? - "they're my gay uncles" vs "i'm a little in love, even now" ---* riffing about the boundary/overlap between these camps ---* sibling reads me for filth in a single text (sister daniel...) ---* at least we're all in this together

what's going to continue to draw people in

- grown adults drawing our cat whiskers back on - updates on queer/nd kids - updates on anxiety/depression rates - updates on tech and the broader environment of content - world still feels doomed

tangent - the "hard launch" and why people want it

what are people referring to, exactly

- general definition and other examples - when it comes to dan and phil - maybe they hard launched already and we just missed the memo

the ludonarrative of phandom

- if you got here early on - if you got here in the mid-2010s - if you got here after they came out - if you got here post-hiatus - final fantasy comparison: ffvii's chokehold over first-timers

a rom-com for the ages

- the tropes in play - brief tangent on the evolution of the genre - queer romantic comedies - final fantasy comparison: ffviii's plot and squall/rinoa

phriends… or…

- wholesome influence, slice-of-life - projection - final fantasy comparison: ffxv's gameplay loop, the chocobros

humans don't like ambiguity

- from a media perspective (narrative tension) - research from the hard sciences - final fantasy comparison: fanille ---* the first gay final fantasy characters, actually ---* ffxiii's character development process ---* fang and vanille in the text. brb, clawing at the walls ---* so, if anyone is looking for a phyuri au prompt…

tl;dr: reality is not fiction. make peace with not "knowing"

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

the phuture

- phil's big solo project when??? - dapg is just the joint channel now - youtube has changed since when dan last "regularly" uploaded - nothing lasts forever, and that's okay

~ baking interlude 5: ranch + pizza ~

- ranch propaganda and ranch metaphors - showing off my dough and sauce skills

conclusions

- a lot has happened in 15 years - [placeholders: don't write your conclusions before you do your research]

Proof this project can only be done in consultation with Tumblr: no other platform we're on could accommodate a post of this length and formatting detail lol

#dan and phil #phan #dnp #daniel howell #amazingphil #this took so long to format oh my god please read it and talk to me #except it's 1am in my time zone so i'm going honk mimimimi soon enough #amy writes

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gemsofgreece · 7 months ago

Note

Hi! What could be a good english version of The Iliad, like the most faithful translation of it? xx

Hello! I have read the Iliad only in the prototype and modern Greek renditions. So in order to answer this I started with a plain search on the web for the most famous English translations. I see Lattimore (1951) and Fagles (1990) being frequently recommended. I ended up finding however a fantastic post on Reddit by some good soul who decided to analyze in depth all the modern English translations. OP provides the first paragraph of most of these translations in order to back their commentary. As a result I was able to read them as well. So I will add the link to their post in the end of my answer but in the meantime I decided to also provide my own opinion alongside theirs. Granted, my evaluation is based only on the first paragraph but we know writers and translators strive for the best in the opening paragraph so hopefully my conclusions will be more or less safe. Let alone that the opening paragraph of the Iliad is famous, it’s the invocation of the Muse, so certainly the translators were trying their best. Please note I am only judging the translations for which OP provides the first paragraph.

Lattimore (1951)

Deviations counted: 3

Style: poetry

Other notes: A little difficult to read but there is something old-school about it I like. Despite its deviations, it tried to keep other elements most other translators failed to.

Reddit OP opinion: They did not like Lattimore, they think he’s overrated.

Fitzgerald (1974)

Deviations counted: 8

Style: poetry

Other notes: God forbid.

Reddit OP opinion: They like it but admit it’s not very faithful to Homer.

Hammond (1987)

Deviations counted: 3

Style: prose

Other notes: It sounds more humble than Lattimore’s pompous translation, however it is easy and readable without deviating much from the original.

Reddit OP opinion: We agree.

Fagles (1990)

Deviations counted: 7

Style: poetry

Other notes: Why is this one of the two most popular translations? If you have to pick one of the two all time classics, I definitely recommend Lattimore between the two. But my favourite so far remains Hammond.

Reddit OP opinion: They reject this for the same reasons as they did with Fitzgerald.

Murray & Wyatt (1999, latest revision, 1924, original)

Deviations counted: 7 (fewer in the original)

Style: prose

Other notes: OP provides the original version and some older revisions and they are significantly better than what you will likely find in stores now. The original is in an older style of English.

Reddit OP opinion: That was the point they were making: unnecessary revisions for the worse. They say the old version is out of copyright so maybe you can find that one.

Merrill (2007)

Deviations: 8

Style: poetry

Other notes: It’s poetic but not beautiful enough and certainly not very faithful to the original.

Reddit OP opinion: Somehow they seem to like the opening paragraph but then makes notes similar to mine regarding the rest of the poem - I’d argue it’s evident from the very beginning.

Kline (2009)

Deviations: 6 (7-1)

Style: prose

Other notes: I removed one penalty as a bonus for being the only one so far to translate the “for thus was the will of Zeus brought to fulfilment” line decently. Overall decent, the deviations aren’t too annoying.

Reddit OP opinion: They consider it average - not too good or too bad - and they say it is free to read online. Both they and I prefer Hammond still.

Verity (2010)

Deviations: 6

Style: prose pretending to be verse

Other notes: Interestingly, Verity deviates in easier lines and nails the ones nobody did.

Reddit OP opinion: They love this one.

McCrorie (2012)

Deviations: 5

Style: poetry

Other notes: He goes for an epic style and I do not dislike it. He uses unusual English versions of the characters names though (ie Akhilleus, Aides). I don’t mind but it could confuse you.

Reddit OP opinion: They say their rendition overall is inconsistent and claim some of their choices sound bad in English. I did not really find the examples they gave problematic or bad, but maybe it is because in Greek those sentences sound better and McCrorie was going for a Greek voice, which is why it did not feel jarring to me like to the OP. We disagree in this one. I still prefer Hammond though.

Green (2015)

Deviations: 4

Style: poetry

Other notes: It is pretty faithful but I can’t say I find anything impressive about it.

Reddit OP opinion: They love it.

Alexander (2015)

Deviations: 3

Style: poetry

Other notes: She gives a very loyal translation, however lacks a bit in style, it is a little plain for poetry.

Reddit OP opinion: They like it a lot.

Nurcombe (2020)

Deviations: 6

Style: poetry

Other notes: Nothing particular to remark.

Reddit OP opinion: They find it a loyal translation (which maybe it is, because the deviations are six yet not very significant) but think it’s lacking in its poetry. Maybe this is why I found it unremarkable.

Wilson (2023)

Deviations: 9

Style: poetry

Other notes: We Greeks have talked before about Wilson taking too many liberties and her translation of the first paragraph proves it once more. She adds stuff of her own in there.

Reddit OP opinion: They comment on the loose translation but overall like her style of poetry.

In conclusion, my opinion is:

If you want easy, very readable and accurate prose, pick Hammond.

If you want accuracy and one of the all time classics and don’t mind the occasionally challenging poetic read, pick Lattimore.

If your main concern is accuracy and can go for older, harder, more epic sounding prose, try to find the original Murray or at least one of the old revisions but skip the most recent ones.

If you don’t mind a hard poetic read, maybe even odd in English (as stated by the English reader) because it attempts to get close to the Greek poetic voice, even at a paradoxical occasional expense of word for word accuracy, give McCrorie a shot. I don’t know if this made any sense lol I mean that even when he is not extremely loyal word after word, there is a feel of attempted Greek voice throughout his text. In other words, if you want a wildcard, give it a shot. But it could be alienating to an English reader, I don’t know.

Having said all that, again, I could only judge from the first paragraph and some notes by the Reddit OP. I am adding now their in-depth analysis. OP’s favourite for fidelity and style was Green.

Of course, if someone here is fluent in Greek and well acquainted with the English translations, please help us out.

#greece #Homer #Iliad #Homeric epics #classics #classical studies #translations of greek #link #anon #ask #long text #tw long text

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epicbuddieficrecs · 1 year ago

Text

Favorite Buddie fics of 2023!

Every single year at @epicstuckyficrecs I used to do a fic rec at the end of the year with my favorite fics. I figured I should keep the tradition going! So, without further ado, these are my favorite Buddie fics (in no particular order) published in 2023! (you can also check out some other favorite Buddie fics of mine here)

If you have any favorites that aren't in this list, don't hesitate to share them in the comments! :)

Complete

find a way to you (if it kills me) by foxwatson/ @eddiediazes (Post S6E13: Mixed Feelings, Pining | 19K | Mature): the one where eddie decides to start dating again, buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

Both Blade and Branch by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S6 | 62K | Mature): The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back.

where all of the people dancing and clapping would greet me with such warmth by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (Season 6, Magical Realism | 15K | Mature): In the fall, Buck begins to disappear. (Part 2 of All I Am, All That I Am)

Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 27K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Your Love is an Oil Slick (It Glows like Rainbows, It Stains My Soul) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent - Supernatural Elements, Ghost Buck | 67K | Explicit): When Eddie's son claims he has an imaginary friend, Eddie doesn't think much of it. Christopher is seven, it's what kids do. But then weird things start happening around the house, and Eddie starts dreaming about a handsome blue-eyed man. Turns out, Christopher's friend isn't so imaginary. Their house is haunted.

come with me, together, we can take the long way home series by allisonRW96/ @homerforsure (Canon compliant | 105K | T to M):

Get me through the night; Make me feel alright (Post-S3 Finale | 11K | Mature): After an emotionally-gutting reunion with Abby, Buck turns to old coping mechanisms. Eddie helps him find a better way. In Uncertain Times, The Uncertain Rules Apply (Pre-S4 | 22K | Teen): Covid comes to LA. Eddie copes. Or doesn't. Holding out for Something More (Stuck in Reverse) (Post S4E3/Lone Star Crossover | 26K | Teen): LA is coming out of lockdown and the world is returning to some sense of normalcy. But going back to the way things were hurts more than Buck expected. While his therapist challenges him to confront what he really wants, the team takes a trip to Austin... and El Paso. so far from being free (S4E4: 9-1-1 What's Your Grievance?, S4E5: Buck Begins | 46K | Teen): That’s Daniel. He was our brother. Buck doesn’t know what to do with the past tense. He never had a brother. He’s always had a brother. He gained one and lost one in the same breath and it feels impossible.

Kink Club AU series by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Canon Divergent - Different First Meeting, BDSM, Dom Eddie, Sub Buck | Complete | Explicit): Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01.

The Warmth (of You) (25K): aka where Buck and Eddie first meet at a kink club before the firehouse To Weather the Storm (With You) (21K): aka the fallout of Buck finding out the dom he met at a Kink Club is his new coworker Safe Here (With You) (20K): aka Buck and Eddie handle working a shift after their first scene The Building Pressure (of You) (15K): aka Buck reaches out to Eddie after he leaves Abby's place in 2x07 An Offer to Torment (You) (14K): aka Eddie is all twisted up inside about what to do with Shannon. Buck offers himself up for some much needed holiday stress relief.

like when the sun came out by spaceprincessem/ @spaceprincessem (Canon Divergent, Ghosts | 39K | Mature): Evan gave up trying to explain what happens to him after his parents forced him to have a talk with one of their friends, supposedly a pediatric therapist, and cruelly hinted that if Evan didn’t stop seeing and talking about his “invisible friends” as if they were real then his parents would send him far away to places where they lock children up in padded rooms. “Look,” Evan says quickly, forcing out the words before he gets too scared to speak,” I—I know this is going to sound crazy, but, um, ever since I was a kid I can see ghosts.”

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Time Loop | 43K | Mature): eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia

All My Shattered Oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Vampires AU | 107K | Explicit): Eddie wants to stay away from his family’s legacy and give his son a normal life. Buck’s desperate to find a way to get over the love he lost. Fate has other plans for both of them.

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 32K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

WIP

And here are my favorite WIP that I really hope will continue to be updated in 2024! 🤞

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 11/? | 96K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 104/? | 283K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Precious & Fragile Things by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Small Miracles AU, Angel Buck | 10/? | 25K | Teen): Buck is the Fallen Angel of Petty Temptation, who has been tasked with tempting human Eddie Diaz to sin and enjoy life, but just a little. He thinks the job will be easy - get in, get out, go back to Peru to continue messing around with eternity. But when Buck arrives in Los Angeles, he finds Eddie is harder to tempt than expected, and more compelling than Buck had hoped.

Right Where You Left Me by hyacinthusbloom/ @thebloomingheather (Canon Divergent, Post-S4, Angst | 89K | 20/? | Explicit | Warning: Rape/Non-con): "Therapy?" Eddie suggests. Buck almost laughs, but instead says, "I'll go if you go." Because he had fully expected him to be chicken shit, to disagree, and instead Eddie, the bastard, replies, "Deal." Or Buck never tells anyone that he slept with his therapist and deals with the butterfly effect years later.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 7/? | 12K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

#epic buddie fic rec #buddie #buddie fic rec #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #911 fanfic #911 fic #911 fanfiction #favorites

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sunshinecatie · 1 month ago

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So I just finished reading Stephanie Brown's Batgirl run. I've been holding out finishing it officially because she's my favorite and I didn't really want it to end so soon. But she's a titular part of my thesis so my procrastination could not wait any longer. "So Catie, you just finished Steph's Batgirl run! How do you feel?" Sad.

So sad is a bit too vague. I'll explain why I feel this way, because alot of it does stem from my personal view and connection to Stephanie.

Stephanie's the underdog. She's always been the underdog of the Batfam. Never taken seriously by Bruce, and very rarely by Tim (depending on the writer). She DIES guys. And yes it was retconned when DC realized how badly they f'd up but seriously. She doesn't even get a memorial like Jason or Batgirl. In fact, in her Batgirl she's told that the only way to get a suit in a case is to die, become someone else, or retire.

... well Steph technically died, but I guess being 'fired' doesn't count as being retired either.

I digress. Her batgirl is beautifully written and I could go on for far too long talking about how Steph grows and flourishes under this mantle with Barbara as her mentor. As Bruce says in Batman vs Robin "Barbara always was more patient than me" in regard to training Stephanie. Also, her slapping the shit out of Bruce is a beautiful touch.

But its the ending that got me. Steph finds out her dad, Cluemaster, is not only back from the dead but he's controlling all the chaos that's been happening at her college. He's once again the source of her issues. He also drugs her with a hallucinogen that causes her to see her deepest desires. She blacks out. Wakes up in a hospital, with her mother, Crystal Brown, watching over her. Steph's batgirl cowl is still on so she doesn't really know if her mom knows its her, but its implied that she knows its Steph. Later she has a conversation with Barbara. Barbara: "What'd you see when you were under the influence?" Steph: "Stuff."

Hard cut to a montage of Stephanie leading a team with Cassandra. Stephanie being a mom. Stephanie training Tiffany Fox to be the next Batgirl. It's an incredibly touching moment of Stephanie actually seeing her self-worth for once.

We have a really touching moment with Barbara too. (I've cut the following quote from Barbara's lines so its just Steph speaking)

"Regardless of all the places I've been and the places I've yet to go. Right here... Right now... this moment is mine. And once tomorrow is here. there's no more today. Because today, I'm happy. It's only the end if you want it to be." -Stephanie Brown, Batgirl 2009

"Its only the end if you want it to be."

What a way to end it. I dont know if Bryan Q. Miller knew that Stephanie was not going to last as Batgirl. I dont know if he knew Barbara was going to 'become healed' and become Batgirl again. I dont know if this line was a tongue in cheek "Steph may be leaving but you the readers can make her live on. This is the only the end of her story if YOU want it to be" moment. Maybe I'll get to ask him about it one day. But I do know it made me cry.

It made me cry that she didn't get to be more. Cry that Batgirl was taken from her. That she was pushed back into being Spoiler on a smaller scale than even when she was created. That it's been almost 15 years since Stephanie became Batgirl. Oh how I miss her.

But then it made me cry happy tears, because this is her only solo series. We got Batgirl as Steph's solo series. We got to watch her grow up. We got such an accurate depiction of what being a teenage girl is like. I don't know how Bryan Q. Miller did it. I don't know how he transformed himself into Stephanie Brown to write such a fantastic arch for this character. If we don't get to see her again in a solo series, I can rest easy knowing that we got 24 issues of perfect. 24 issues where Stephanie got to be her kick ass self. 24 issues where we got to see her shine as Batgirl and overcome obstacles that hindered her success in the past. 24 issues where we got to see how great of a mentor Barbara is for Stephanie and exactly the one she needed.

I love you Stephanie Brown. I don't think you know how much I do and maybe, just maybe, one day I'll get to write your first Spoiler solo series.

#catie speaks #stephanie brown #Stephanie Brown batgirl #Stephanie Brown means the world to me #dc comics #batgirl

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gardenwalrus · 3 months ago

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Thelma Pickles, John Lennon’s first girlfriend at Liverpool College of Art, on her relationship with John

My first impression of John was that he was a smartarse. I was 16; a friend introduced us at Liverpool College of Art when we were waiting to register. There was a radio host at the time called Wilfred Pickles whose catchphrase was "Give them the money, Mabel!". When John heard my name he asked "Any relation to Wilfred?", which I was sick of hearing. Then a girl breezed in and said, "Hey John, I hear your mother's dead", and I felt absolutely sick. He didn't flinch, he simply replied, "Yeah". "It was a policeman that knocked her down, wasn't it?" Again he didn't react, he just said, "That's right, yeah." His mother had been killed two months earlier. I was stunned by his detachment, and impressed that he was brave enough to not break down or show any emotion. Of course, it was all a front. When we were alone together he was really soft, thoughtful and generous-spirited. Clearly his mother's death had disturbed him. We both felt that we'd been dealt a raw deal in our family circumstances, which drew us together. During the first week of college we had a pivotal conversation. I'd assumed that he lived with his dad but he told me, "My dad pissed off when I was a baby." Mine had too – I wasn't a baby, I was 10. It had such a profound effect on me that I would never discuss it with anyone. Nowadays one-parent families are common but then it was something shameful. After that it was like we were two against the world.

I went to his house soon after. It seemed really posh to me, brought up in a council house. We were alone, he showed me round and we had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle in his bedroom. Paul and George came round and we all had beans on toast, then they played their guitars in the kitchen. I had to leave early because Mimi wouldn't allow girls in the house. She was very strict. She wouldn't let him wear drainpipe trousers so he used to put other trousers over the top and remove them after he left the house. We used to take afternoons off to go to a picture-house called the Palais de Luxe where he liked to see horror films. I remember we went to see Elvis in Jailhouse Rock at the Odeon. He didn't take his glasses. We were holding hands and he kept yanking my hand saying, "What's happening now Thel?" John was enormous fun to be with, always witty, even if it was a cruel wit. Any minor frailty in somebody he'd detect with a laser-like homing device. We all thought it was hilarious but it wasn't funny to the recipients. Apart from the first instance, where he mocked my name, I never experienced it until I ended our relationship. We were close until around Easter of the following year, 1959. At an art school dance he took me to a darkened classroom. We went thinking we'd have it to ourselves but it was evident from the din that we weren't alone. I wasn't going to have an intimate soirée with other people present. I refused to stay, and he yanked me back and whacked me one. He had aggressive traits, mainly verbal, but never in private had he ever been aggressive - quite the opposite. Once he'd hit me that was it for me, I wouldn't speak to him. That one violent incident put paid to any closeness we had. I took care to not bump into him for a while. I didn't miss drinking at Ye Cracke with him but I missed the closeness we had. Still, we were friendly enough by the end of the next term. Because he did no work, he was on the brink of failure, so I loaned him some of my work, which I never got back. I've never wondered what might have been. It sounds disingenuous, but I wouldn't like to have been married to John – that would be quite a gargantuan task! He would've been 70 next year and I just cannot imagine a 70-year-old John Lennon. I'd be fearful that the fire would've gone out.

- Interview within Imogen Carter, ‘John Lennon, the boy we knew’, The Guardian (Dec 2009)

Thelma also briefly dated Paul McCartney and later married Mike McCartney’s bandmate, Roger McGough, in 1970.

Thelma also gives more detail of her relationship with John in Ray Coleman's 1984 John Lennon biography. Just to note, she mentions towards the end of the section that their romantic relationship just petered out, and John was never physically violent with her - it's likely the case that by the 2009 Guardian interview above, she would've felt more free to speak about John hitting her as the reason for the relationship's end, rather than this being two contrasting stories.

A year younger than John, Thelma was to figure in one of his most torrid teenage affairs before he met Cynthia. Their friendship blossomed in a spectacular conversation one day as they walked after college to the bus terminus in Castle Street. In no hurry to get home, they sat on the steps of the Queen Victoria monument for a talk. ‘I knew his mother had been killed and asked if his father was alive,’ says Thelma. ‘Again, he said in this very impassive and objective way: “No, he pissed off and left me when I was a baby.” I suddenly felt very nervous and strange. My father had left me when I was ten. Because of that, I had a huge chip on my shoulder. In those days, you never admitted you came from a broken home. You could never discuss it with anybody and people like me, who kept the shame of it secret, developed terrific anxieties. It was such a relief to me when he said that. For the first time, I could say to someone: “Well, so did mine.”’

At first Thelma registered that he didn’t care about his fatherless childhood. ‘As I got to know him, he obviously cared. But what I realised quickly was that he and I had an aggression towards life that stemmed entirely from our messy home lives.’ Their friendship developed, not as a cosy love match but as teenage kids with chips on their shoulders. ‘It was more a case of him carrying my things to the bus stop for me, or going to the cinema together, before we became physically involved.’ John, when she knew him, would have laughed at people who were seen arm in arm.’ It wasn't love's young dream. We had a strong affinity through our backgrounds and we resented the strictures that were placed upon us. We were fighting against the rules of the day. If you were a girl of sixteen like me, you had to wear your beret to school, be home at a certain time, and you couldn't wear make-up. A bloke like John would have trouble wearing skin-tight trousers and generally pleasing himself, especially with his strict aunt. We were always being told what we couldn’t do. He and I had a rebellious streak, so it was awful. We couldn't wait to grow up and tell everyone to get lost. Mimi hated his tight trousers and my mother hated my black stockings. It was a horrible time to be young!’ Lennon's language was ripe and fruity for the 1950s, and so was his wounding tongue. In Ye Cracke, one night after college, John rounded on Thelma in front of several students, and was crushingly rude to her. She forgets exactly what he said, but remembers her blistering attack on him: ‘Don't blame me,’ said Thelma, ‘just because your mother's dead.’ It was something of a turning point. John went quiet, but now he had respect for the girl who would return his own viciousness with a sentence that was equally offensive. ‘Most people stopped short,' says Thelma. ‘They were probably frightened of him, and on occasions there were certainly fights. But with me, he met someone with almost the same background and edge. We got on well, but I wasn't taking any of his verbal cruelty.’

When they were together, though, the affinity was special, with a particular emphasis on sick humour. Thelma says categorically that John and she laughed at afflicted or elderly people ‘as something to mock, a joke’. It was not anything deeply psychological like fear of them, or sympathy, she says. ‘Not to be charitable to ourselves, we both actually disliked these people rather than sympathised,’ says Thelma. ‘Maybe it was related to being artistic and liking things to be aesthetic all the time. But it just wasn't sympathy. I really admired his directness, his ability to verbalise all the things I felt amusing.’ He developed an instinctive ability to mock the weak, for whom he had no patience. He developed an instinctive ability to mock the weak, for whom he had no patience. In the early 1950s, Britain had National Service conscription for men aged eighteen and over who were medically fit. John seized on this as his way of ridiculing many people who were physically afflicted. ‘Ah, you're just trying to get out of the army,’ he jeered at men in wheelchairs being guided down Liverpool's fashionable Bold Street, or ‘How did you lose your legs? Chasing the wife?’ He ran up behind frail old women and made them jump with fright, screaming 'Boo' into their ears. ‘Anyone limping, or crippled or hunchbacked, or deformed in any way, John laughed and ran up to them to make horrible faces. I laughed with him while feeling awful about it,’ says Thelma. ‘If a doddery old person had nearly fallen over because John had screamed at her, we'd be laughing. We knew it shouldn't be done. I was a good audience, but he didn't do it just for my benefit.’ When a gang of art college students went to the cinema, John would shout out, to their horror, ‘Bring on the dancing cripples.’ says Thelma. ‘Perhaps we just hadn’t grown out of it. He would pull the most grotesque faces and try to imitate his victims.’

Often, when he was with her, he would pass Thelma his latest drawings of grotesquely afflicted children with misshapen limbs. The satirical Daily Howl that he had ghoulishly passed around at Quarry Bank School was taken several stages beyond the gentle, prodding humour he doled out against his former school teachers. ‘He was merciless,’ says Thelma Pickles. ‘He had no remorse or sadness for these people. He just thought it was funny.’ He told her he felt bitter about people who had an easy life. ‘I found him magnetic,’ says Thelma, ‘because he mirrored so much of what was inside me, but I was never bold enough to voice.’ Thel, as John called her, became well aware of John's short-sightedness on their regular trips to the cinema. They would ‘sag off’ college in the afternoons to go to the Odeon in London Road or the Palais de Luxe, to see films like Elvis Presley in Jailhouse Rock and King Creole. ‘He’d never pay,’ says Thelma. ‘He never had any money.’ Whether he had his horn-rimmed spectacles with him or not, John would not wear them in the cinema. He told her he didn’t like them for the same reason that he hated deformity in people: wearing specs was a sign of weakness. Just as he did not want to see crutches or wheelchairs without laughing, John wouldn't want to be laughed at. So he very rarely wore his specs, even though the black horn-rimmed style was a copy of his beloved Buddy Holly. ‘So in the cinema we sat near the front and it would be: “What’s happening now, Thel?” “Who’s that, Thel?” He couldn’t follow the film but he wouldn’t put his specs on, even if he had them.’

[...] It was not a big step from cinema visits and mutual mocking of people for John and Thelma to go beyond the drinking sessions in Ye Cracke. ‘It wasn't love’s young dream, but I had no other boyfriends while I was going out with John and as far as I knew he was seeing nobody except me.’ On the nights that John's Aunt Mimi was due to go out for the evening to play bridge, Thelma and John met on a seat in a brick-built shelter on the golf course opposite the house in Menlove Avenue. When the coast was clear and they saw Mimi leaving, they would go into the house. ‘He certainly didn’t have a romantic attitude to sex,’ says Thelma. ‘He used to say that sex was equivalent to a five-mile run, which I’d never heard before. He had a very disparaging attitude to girls who wanted to be involved with him but wouldn’t have sex with him. ‘“They’re edge-of-the-bed virgins,” he said. ‘I said: “What does that mean?” ‘He said: “They get you to the edge of the bed and they’ll not complete the act.” ‘He hated that. So if you weren’t going to go to bed with him, you had to make damned sure you weren’t going to go to the edge of the bed either. If you did, he’d get very angry. ‘If you were prepared to go to his bedroom, which was above the front porch, and start embarking on necking and holding hands, and you weren’t prepared to sleep with him, then he didn’t want to know you. You didn’t do it. It wasn’t worth losing his friendship. So if you said, “No”, then that was OK. He’d then play his guitar or an Everly Brothers record. Or we’d got to the pictures. He would try to persuade you to sleep with him, though. ‘He was no different from any young bloke except that if you led him on and gave the impression you would embark on any kind of sexual activity and then didn’t, he'd be very abusive. It was entirely lust.

[...] Thelma was John’s girlfriend for six months. ‘It just petered out,’ she says. ‘I certainly didn’t end it. He didn’t either. We still stayed part of the same crowd of students. When we were no longer close, he was more vicious to me in company than before. I was equally offensive back. That way you got John’s respect. Her memory of her former boyfriend is of a teenager ‘very warm and thoughtful inside. Part of him was gentle and caring. He was softer and gentler when we were alone than when we were in a crowd. He was never physically violent with me - just verbally aggressive, and he knew how to hurt. There was a fight with him involved once, in the canteen, but he’d been drinking. He wasn’t one to pick a fight. He often enraged someone with his tongue and he’d been on the edge of it, but he loathed physical violence really. He’d be scared. John avoided real trouble.’

- Within Ray Coleman, John Winston Lennon: 1940-66 vol.1 (1984)

#long post #john lennon #thelma pickles

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toynbeck · 4 months ago

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u have like .. really good taste in media , so do u have any movie recommendations ?

my top favorites right now (in order)

1. I Saw The TV Glow (heartwrenching "coming-of-age"/psychological horror/wait.. he's "coming-of-age" so quickly--? Time wasn't right. It was moving too fast. I was 19, then I was 20, then I was 21. Like chapters skipped over on a DVD. I told myself, this isn't normal. This isn't normal. This isn't how life is supposed to feel. I thought about r-- really good movie if you haven't seen it already)

2. Possessor (trippy, violent sci-fi psychological horror. i wrote a song about this one. ive seen it around 5 times now and not a day goes by where i don't think of it.)

3. The Poughkeepsie Tapes (50% satirical mockumentary commentating on how america glorifies its serial killers, 50% found-footage horror, you'll need to look up warnings for this one [or just ask me, ive seen it 4 times, i can give you in-depth CW's without spoilers].)

4. Horse Girl (a girl's spiraling descent into conspiracy. trippy, mystery thriller)

other favorites in no specific order

• Antiviral (another Brandon Cronenberg film, sci-fi thriller, taking parasocial relationships to a whole new level)

• The PowerPuff Girls Movie (underrated and one of my favorite PPG-related things ever next to the now-banned rock opera episode, See Me Feel Me Gnomey)

• Longlegs (paranormal mystery horror film, an FBI agent gets more than she bargained for when delving into a new case. ASK ME ABOUT OZ PERKINS AND NICHOLAS CAGE'S PERSONAL CONNECTION TO THIS FILM AND HOW IT SAVED THE FILM ITSELF FOR ME AND MADE IT GO FROM "A WEE BIT DISAPPOINTING BUT STILL GOOD" TO "TOP FAVORITE" BECAUSE OF HOW IT IMPACTED THE WAY I VIEW IT... IF YOU DARE..)

• Catsoup (silent japanese cartoon, short film, you can find it on youtube! two cats go on a magical, somewhat dark, adventure. visually stunning)

• The Brave Little Toaster (the only disney film that will ever grace my favorites list. incredible. the anthropomorphization of objects is stellar, the characters i could go on and on about-- and the songs are fucking great. shoutout to mass car suicide [Worthless]. also this movie inspired one of my OC stories [Curtain Call].)

• I'm Thinking Of Ending Things (adaptation of my favorite book, very different from the book but i think it brings some excellent things to the table and tells it in a very cool way. psychological thriller, mystery. Jesse Plemons is in it, they grabbed him off the set of Breaking Bad and forgot to tell him he wasn't still playing Todd. [< compliment])

• Baby Driver (anyone who hates this movie doesn't know how to have fun. action-comedy, incredible soundtrack that is SYNCED TO THE HAPPENINGS IN THE FILM, main character is an autistic CODA who i love very much, i have a deep personal connection with this movie because of the person i watched it with and the impact it had on us.)

• I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore (action-comedy, crime, awkward girl and her awkward neighbor [who just met her but would kill and die for her] get in over their heads trying to retrieve a stolen laptop.)

• Poltergeist (1982, my ma's favorite horror film and one of mine too. paranormal, visually stunning, the practical effects are so fucking cool. also im decently sure it was inspired by Little Girl Lost, an episode of The Twilight Zone, because it's like a more fleshed-out version of that concept.)

• Home Movie (2008, it's on youtube, i can't remember if it's like overall good but it's the only instance thus far in which i think the "evil child" trope is done well so it makes my favorites list)

• Whiplash (ARE YOU RUSHING OR ARE YOU DRAGGING?!)

• Nightcrawler (crime thriller, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Dread (2009, violent horror, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Raggedy Ann And Andy : A Musical Adventure (on youtube, an animated childhood favorite that still holds up. shoutout to the blue camel)

aaaand some others im prooobably forgettinggg..? tried to include a bit of as many genres i could think of, since most of my favorites are horror :)

#jeepers speak #answered

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slasher-key · 2 years ago

Text

All I Wanted (Charlie Walker)

I’m back bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pairing: Charlie Walker x GN!! Reader

Warnings: None a few curse words

You and Charlie have been dating, well, fake dating for almost a month. At first it was just to make Kirby jealous. It worked for a while, but she got over it quickly. So why are you both still together?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nothing beats the original Y/N, you cannot convince me that Friday the 13th 2009, is better than the original.” Charlie says, shoving a hand full of popcorn in his mouth. “I’m not trying to convince you, I’m just telling you that I prefer to watch that one because of Travis Van Winkle.” I reply, with a small laugh. Charlie and I have been doing horror movie nights since we were kids. Tonight we are watching the original Friday the 13th, and we have been arguing about the remake for half the movie already. “So you’re telling me you only like it for the guys?” Charlie asks “Well, no, but it is a plus, but I also like the Jason better, he’s scarier, faster, and he has better kills.” I reply. “Okay, fine I’ll give you that, but you can’t beat the original.” He says “whatever” I say, rolling my eyes at him. We go back to watching the movie and my mind drifts off.

I start to think about the past month, Charlie and I have been fake dating for about a month now. He asked me after a party where he found Kirby making out with some guy. It made him jealous, so he wanted to make her jealous. This lead him to buy all the snacks and pizza at our movie night, and ask me if I would help him make her jealous. We have been “together” for a month and Kirby hasn’t even blinked an eye toward him. But for some reason it feels very natural, it’s not awkward when he calls me pet names, or when he kisses me goodbye, even when he comes up behind me with his surprise hugs. It felt real sometimes, but then I have to remind myself that, it’s not. No matter how bad I want him.

“You okay love?” Charlie asks, I look over at him, and he has a concerned look on his face. “Yeah I’m fine, why do you ask?” I reply, trying my best to give off a weird vibe. “Well you didn’t do you usual rant about them killing off Kevin Bacon after his death scene, and you’ve barely touched any of the snacks I bought, I know how much you love your gummy worms,” He says.

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t think of a lie fast enough. I can’t tell him I want to be his real girlfriend and not his fake one. Not only will it ruin what we have now, but he still likes Kirby. “Y/N just tell me what’s going on, I’m worried about you,” he says. whipping the few tears that fell from my eyes. I just want to yell at him and tell him “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU STUPID”. Charlie’s eyes go wide “wait what?” he says, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. “I didn’t mean to say that, Charlie I’m so sorry,” I say cutting him off. “No don’t be sorry, look at me and tell me what you meant, you don’t have to keep anything from me,” he says, lifting my chin with his finger to make me look at him. “Tell me Y/N” he says. here goes nothing.

“Well, I liked you for a long time when we were younger, but I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. Then we got to high school, and you had this huge crush on Kirby. So I wanted to help you so you could be happy, but now we’ve been doing this whole fake dating thing for almost a whole month, and I can’t take it anymore. It all feels so real, and I love it. But then I realize that it isn’t, and you’re not really mine. It’s all just for you to get with Kirby. So yeah my feeling are a little hurt, but it’s whatever as long as you get you happy ending with Kirby.” I ramble, I sound like a fucking idiot. But I needed to get that out.

When I am done rambling, I look back at Charlie and he is smiling at me. “why are you smiling so hard?” I ask, confusion written on my face. “Okay, don’t kick my ass, but, the whole fake dating thing might or might not have been a way for me to get closer to you. yeah, at first I did have a small crush on Kirby. But the more we started hanging out and going on fake dates, and acting like a couple. The more I wanted it to be real, the more I wanted you to be mine. I will admit it was a dick move, but I didn’t know hot to tell you that I was madly in love with you, and I’m sorry.” Charlie rambles.

“So this whole time you were trying to get me to fall for you?” I ask “Pretty much, yes, I’m sorry I lied to you.” He replies. I could help myself, I grab Charlie’s face in my hands and pull him in for a kiss. A real one this time.

“So will you be my real girlfriend Y/N?” he says, when we pull away “Of course I will.” I say pulling him in for another kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hope you enjoyed!!!!!!

#Charlie Walker #charlie walker x reader #charlie walker imagines #charlie walker fanfic #Rory Culkin #rory culkin imagine #rory culkin fanfic #rory culkin x reader #Rory culkin oneshot #charlie walker oneshot #scream 4 #scream 4 fanfic #scream 4 imagines

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jackjawcaptain · 1 month ago

Text

Tori's Masterlist of Works From AO3 (A-Z)

Started 1-29-25

Updated 2-28-25

*All FICS ARE 21+*

Assassin's Creed

Ezio Auditore de Firenze Aged Like Fine Wine (smut, completed)

Jacob Frye Fatal Attraction (ON HOLD, dark fic, older!Jacob Frye, takes place in the Jack The Ripper DLC)

Alexios or Deimos At The Mercy of Fate (completed, dark smut, extreme dubious consent)

Crimson Peak

Alan McMichael

Escape from Crimson Peak (completed, youngest sharp sibling!reader, reader is caught in the middle of the plot between Lucille and Edith, reader and Edith are besties, tragic angst)

Cyberpunk 2077

Johnny Silverhand

Ivory Towers and Guitar Picks (completed, older works, use of Y/N, Reader is an adopted daughter of Saburo Arasaka and then she meets the infamous Johnny Silverhand, tragic romance, contains smut)

Sweet Child of Mine (completed, fluff, happy ending for Johnny, use of Y/N, super self indulgent)

Gotta Teach Em' Young (completed, sort of sequel to Sweet Child of Mine but can be read as stand alone, no use of Y/N, pregnant!reader, soft Johnny)

A Tale of Twins in Night City (completed, super short fix-it fic, reader is V's twin)

Male!V

The Merc, The Princess and The Rocker (in progress, Male!V meets Jackie's sister and instantly falls in love and wants to give her everything in the world. Things go wrong when he wakes up with a terrorist in his head, contains smut, fix-it fic)

Final Fantasy

Noctis Lucis Caelum

Defying the Odds (completed, fix-it fic, contains smut, astral!reader)

Barnabas Tharmr

Always Been Mine (in progress, Rosfield!reader + Leviathan!reader, Barnabas is ordained to be your man and takes you away after Phoenix Gate)

Gladiator II

General Marcus Acacius

Ruined (completed, not movie accurate, princess!reader, arranged marriage, angsty)

inFamous

Delsin Rowe

Smoke and Lightning (completed, Reggie doesn't die, reader is Cole's sister who also has lightning powers)

Interview With The Vampire

Lestat de Lioncourt

His Favorite Human (completed, based off the 1994 movie, haven't seen the show yet, angsty romance, open ending, selfish Lestat)

Legend of Zelda

Link (BOTW/TOTK)

Running Out of Time (completed, princess!reader, follows the time leading up to BOTW, reader is Zelda's older sister, angst over heavy prophecy for duty and country)

My Bloody Valentine (1981 & 2009)

Harry Warden

I'll Take You Away (completed, Harry Warden comes for you during his parade of blood because you kept him sane while he was down in the dark, smut and pregnancy mention, Valentine's Day Special 2024)

Cupcakes and Blood (in progress, your crush on Harry is evident, smut to come, Valentine's Day Special 2025)

Star Wars

Cal Kestis

Where The Moon Blossoms Grow (completed, SMUT, reunited after Order 66, follows the path of Jedi Survivor)

Din Djarin

Arguing in the Rain (very first work to AO3, completed, fluff and angst)

Qimir (The Stranger)

Fill in the Blanks (completed, memory loss then its regained, light smut)

Top Gun

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Half As Long, Twice As Bright (completed, childhood sweethearts, includes Icemav being parents + Ethan Hunt being Pete Mitchell's twin)

Ties That Bind (completed, Halloween special 2024, includes Icemav being protective parents)

Forget About Your Ex (completed, Mitchell!Reader comes back home for springbreak after catching her bf in bed with her roommate, Bradley comforts you, SMUT)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Angel Wings (completed, first fic for the Top Gun fandom, Bradshaw!Reader)

One With The Sea (completed, Mermaid AU, mermaid!reader)

When Shadows Meet Again (ON HOLD, prominent Icemav, Regency AU, Jake is Tom's Son)

In A Galaxy Far Far Away (completed, combo of Star Wars + Top Gun, prominent Icemav)

It's You, It's Me, It's Us (in progress, latina!coded reader, childhood sweethearts, Mav walked out but comes back)

Twisters

Scott Miller

For The First Time (completed, Harding!Reader, childhood sweethearts, break up but gets back together)

Tyler Owens

Won't Let You Go (completed, platonic Kate/Reader, Harding!Reader)

Whipping Winds (completed, first fic in the fandom after watching the movie)

Make Me A Daddy (completed, smut one-shot, fucking in Tyler's truck during a twister)

Love You To Mars and Back (completed, christmas special one-shot, very Hallmark coded, Harding!Reader)

Into The Storm (completed, Harding!Reader and Tyler get sucked up by a twister that takes them back to 1996, angst and fluff, inspired by Back To The Future, going 88 miles per hour into a twister)

Ultraman: Rising (2024)

Ken/Kenji Sato

A Brave New World (completed, most popular fic on my account, established relationship with Ken, basically follows the movie, fluffy goodness, reader is Emi's stepmom)

Vampyr (Video Game)

Dr. Jonathan Reid

Small Joy (completed, pregnant!reader, Jonathan falls in love with you despite being a newborn vampire and that you're pregnant with your late husband's child)

Stress Relief (completed, helping Jonathan study leads to shameless sex, smut)

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glamourizz · 3 months ago

Text

to my first... || l.mk

themes: friends, unrequited love, angst

warnings: gets sad, angsty, mentions of slight bullying

word count: 4.9k

based on a true story....

dedicated to the boy i should've told "I love you" to when I had the chance. my first love.

✒️✒️✒️

August 2008.

The warm summer air was no longer as prominent as it was a few weeks back. The chill in the air hit your tanned cheeks as you chattered away with the girl sitting next to you. It wasn't a big surprise to anyone seeing you beaming with happiness on the first day of school in contrast to the gloomy faces around you, bummed about the end of their summer holidays.

"Honestly, I am a little upset none of my friends are in the same class as me but hey! At least we have each other right." You smiled at the girl in front of you who smiled right back at you.

The teacher striding in cut your conversation short. A young boy trailed behind her looking confused and out of place.

"Good morning, children!" The teacher beamed up at everyone. "We have a new addition to our class this year. Introduce yourself!"

The boy looked around at us before gulping and muttering, "Hi, I'm Mark Lee. I used to study at Clover Elementary School and I'm 9 years old."

The teacher patted him on the back and guided him to his seat, two benches away from yours.

"Why did you switch schools?" One of your classmates asked echoing everyone's thoughts.

"My old school started an hour earlier than here." He said sheepishly making everyone laugh out loud.

You stared at the boy, a little shorter than you.

He was interesting.

December 2008.

As Christmas was right around the corner, the school and all its inhabitants were shivering with excitement-more with the prospect of holidays than with the festival itself but no one would admit it- and that meant classroom activities.

This year the students were tasked with making paper wreaths to decorate their lockers with. You and your mum spent the day before searching the web for all kinds of creative wreaths you could make and ended up deciding on an origami one.

The class was all busy decorating their own wreaths, giggling, and chattering away with their friends nearby.

"Hey, could you lend me a pair of scissors I forgot mine at home?" Mark asked the boy sitting next to him.

"Sorry, I don't have one." The boy said clearly hiding the scissor in his pocket. "Maybe Y/N can help you?"

Mark turns towards you looking expectantly.

"Sure", you shrug handing over your scissor.

He uses it before giving it back muttering a small thanks

A few minutes later he asks for your glue and a few minutes later asks for your scissors again.

"Did you even come prepared?" You ask him joking.

"I'll be honest. I completely forgot this was today." He whispered making you giggle.

"Oh wow! Your cheeks get really chubby when you smile." He tells you as you turn beet red.

The boy sitting between the two of you snickers. "Yeah, you should lose weight, Y/N."

Mark frowns lightly. "It's cute though," he mumbles under his breath to himself.

But you heard him and you couldn't help but smile at him.

He's nice.

September 2009.

Mark was sitting right behind you this year and you were relieved you had someone in your class this year that you know. You did not want to go through finding a new friend to hang out with again this year.

The two of you would get along well. Top of the class always competing over who would get a higher grade.

"You are a VIP," Mark tells you one day with a mischievous smile.

"What does VIP mean?" You ask genuinely confused.

"Very Idiotic Person." He snickered at you as your face contorts into an offended look.

You raise your hand calling for the teacher. "He is calling me a VIP," you whine when the teacher comes over to your seat.

"Isn't that a good thing?" She asks you looking over at Mark who had his "good boy" smile on.

"He says it means a Very Idiotic Person," you exclaim making the teacher let out a quiet laugh before half-heartedly scolding Mark who was still smiling ear to ear.

"Why are you so mean to me?" You ask him frowning.

"It's fun teasing you. You get cute." He explains leaving you with a small pout on your face as he lets out an endeared laugh.

You couldn't help but laugh along with him.

He was funny, sometimes.

January 2010.

Everyone was half asleep on the first day after Christmas break. Who in the right mind thought it was completely reasonable to wake up children early in the morning and put them all together expecting them to be productive?

"I have decided on the class president and the vice president for this semester," the teacher announced making all the students perk up. "Congratulations Y/N for becoming the class president and Mark for becoming the vice president. Come here and collect your badges."

You let out the brightest smile and walk over to the teacher to collect your badge smirking at Mark as you pass him.

A silent boast of achievement. You were the President and he was the vice president. You had power over him. He rolled his eyes at you. It was a healthy competition. It always had been.

The teacher soon left the class and you were in charge of maintaining discipline in class. As you stood up from your seat a paper plane went swooshing right in front of your eyes. You looked around trying to figure out who did it. And you were met with Mark looking at you with guilty eyes.

"You can't do that. Flying paper Planes is against the class rules. You are the Vice President!" You scold him frowning.

"Please. You are upset because you don't know how to make a paper plane." He smirks at you.

"So what?" You glower at him.

"Sit down. I'll teach you." He says before moving over to your seat crouching down and teaching you how to fold the paper.

You turn over to him to remind him they had a class to monitor but all you saw was his focused side profile and in that moment all words left your mouth flying away along with the paper planes your classmates threw around.

He was really handsome.

February 2011.

A year older. In the same class again. You had joked with Mark about how he was following you around like a duckling. He had laughed before jokingly calling himself your personal stalker leaving you giggling.

It was also the year he got a little more popular. You were friends but you knew he was good-looking. A little too good-looking if you were being honest with yourself. He got himself, new friends, and so did you.

It wasn't a big deal. You were never in the same friend circle. You had always had your own friend groups but his new friends did hurt you a bit.

They were the same ones who would pass comments whenever you were around.

"God, I really don't want to sit next to her." Your seatmate complains to her friend as you sit right beside her.

"Can't you go and tell the teacher you want to sit somewhere else?" Her best friend tells you a little annoyance in her tone.

"I don't know if I can do that." You respond back with a tight smile making the two girls sigh rolling their eyes at you before going back to their conversation.

You looked over to Mark who had just entered the class and was now making conversation with the girl and her best friend. He saw you looks at you and gives you a light nod. You smile back at him.

He was a little aloof.

March 2011.

You were hanging out by the lockers with your girlfriends during the break. They were all gushing about the boy band named One Direction or whatever.

You were just about to joke about them being boy crazy and how you didn't get the hype around the group but before you could utter a word, Mark walked in with his friends smiling at you and your friends.

"Hey, Mark. You said you liked One Direction, right?" One of your friends asked him.

"Oh, yeah. I love 'What makes you beautiful" He said.

"Oh my god, really? Me, too." You squeal not knowing what possessed you to lie out of nowhere. You hadn't even heard their music before!

"They are so good, right!" He exclaims with the biggest smile on his face making your heart beat so fast all you could do was nod your head. You knew you stutter like an idiot if you said a word.

That night you spent the night under the covers with your earphones in your ears listening to every song One Direction had released on repeat, occasionally popping out of the covers to see if your mom walked in.

He had good taste.

May 2011.

As the academic year was coming to an end, the teacher's kept piling on homework, assignments, and projects.

You were tasked with making a science project on the ill effects of pollution. You were in the group with the smartest girl in class, Mark, and a few other classmates. The leader being the smart girl was assigned with planning out the project.

And that was when you realized academically gifted did not equal having common sense. The teachers loved her draft and encouraged you all to work on it but you found it a bit impractical.

As days passed on, Mark, too, realized how incredibly difficult it was to bring her draft to life. All the while, the rest of your teammates conveniently gave up on the project whilst your dear leader refused to meet up outside of school.

Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you went up to Mark ignoring his friends who were hooting at the two of you as you ask him to come over to your place so you could do the project yourself.

You met up with him the next day an hour after school ended. Your mum, a craft enthusiast, helping you throughout.

"Mark, how much did you score in Math?" She asked him.

"Oh, 19/20" he answered proudly.

"And how much did you score?" Your mum asks you.

"16," you mumble a little upset.

Your mum just hums and goes back to instructing the two of you.

An hour. later you realize you might need some more stationary. Mark and you go to a nearby store to buy more paper and some paints.

"16 is not a bad score, you know?" he says quietly picking up two bottles of paint trying to make out the difference.

"Says you. You scored a 19." You mutter.

"So what?" He looks into your eyes dropping both bottles of paint in a basket. "It's just a practice test. It won't count in the future."

"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" You ask him as the two of you walk towards the billing counter.

"I wanna be a scientist. Do something to help people." He says as the two of you pay for the supplies before leaving the store.

"What about you?" He looks at you and you could swear you saw sparkles in his eyes.

"I want to be a doctor." You state with confidence. "The one that treats mentally sick."

"A Psychiatrist?" He asks making you nod. "They don't make much money though."

"So what?" You mimic the words he had said earlier making him smile.

That night as your mum put you to bed, she smiled at you before leaving the room and asked, "Is there anyone from school that you like?"

You laughed at her trying to rid your brain of all the thoughts of Mark that popped up.

He was the one you liked.

June 2011.

The academic year was ending in a week and that meant class trips. It was the one event of the year all students waited for.

Ever since you had the realization that you might like Mark, your brain had been a big big mess. It was only your luck that with finals coming up the interactions between the two of you had come to the bare minimum and you were grateful. Your mind was a mess every time he was around you.

You wanted to confide in someone but you didn't know to who you could tell this. In the end, you decided, you were going to confess.

He was your friend the worse that could happen was he'd want to be only friends. You'd deal with it when the time comes.

It was the day of the trip. Everyone was vibrating with excitement. For once your bags were laden with food and games instead of textbooks.

"I heard Mark is going to confess to Pearl today. He said he was going to ask her to go on the Ferris wheel with her and then he'd ask her out. He even got her a bar of expensive chocolate." A friend of yours turned around to tell you and your seatmate.

Your seatmate and you exchanged a look before she shrugged and turned around.

You'd be lying if you weren't a little hurt.

You knew Pearl. She was your friend. Not the closest but you were friends nonetheless. And you could see why Mark liked her, she was pretty. Albeit not the prettiest girl in class but definitely way prettier than you.

How stupid of you to believe you had a chance!

Yet, a small part of your heart hoped all of this was just a rumor.

But it wasn't. You knew that as you saw Pearl walk onto the bus after your trip with a shy smile on her face and a large bar of chocolate in her hand as her friends giggle and Mark's friends pat his back while he blushes.

You cried so hard that night. You knew you were being irrational.

He was so inconsiderate.

January 2012.

You had no idea how the rumor started about you having a crush on Sam, one of your classmates, but it was getting out of hand.

"Okay, I dare you to go outside the class and jiggle your boobs." The girl sitting in front of you said making you laugh awkwardly.

"Hell no, I'm not doing that." You say chuckling as your eyes dart to the ground.

"Yeah, your tummy will be the one jiggling anyway," she said poking your stomach as she and her friend start laughing mad high fiving each other.

You unknowingly tuck in your stomach and leaned forward to try and hide your abdomen.

"Okay, go tell Sam that you love him." She orders you.

You knew this was better than doing whatever embarrassing ideas they had in their brains.

You slowly walk up to Sam and it was only when you were right beside him that you realise all of his friends were there.

'This is so embarrassing,' you think. Confessing to a guy you don't even like just because you are too cowardly to tell people it isn't Sam you like but Mark.

"I….I..um-" You try to spit out.

"What?" He asks you looking between you and his friends.

"I like you." You said before dashing out of the classroom before anyone could process what had just happened.

When you came back a few minutes later, the whole class was hooting at the two of you.

"You shouldn't have said anything. If it was a dare, you could've skipped it. Why do you have to embarrass us both?" Sam whispered harshly looking at you with disgust as you walk past him.

You didn't like him but it still stung.

That day as you were walking out of the school campus Mark rushed over to you.

"Did you really confess to Sam?" He asked amused.

"Go away!" You mutter at him before leaving.

"Aww look at you having a crush on Sam. That's cute." He snickered before walking over to his friends including Sam.

He was so gullible.

November 2012.

The new academic year saw a big hit in your social life after Confessiongate with Sam.

The only thing you looked forward to was having Mark in your class again and if you played your cards right. Everything would go back to how it was before. The way it was intended to be.

Mark and you sharing unfunny jokes and competing over who scored higher on the latest class test.

Everything would go back to normal. Yall would have your silly yet deep conversations and you would no longer freeze if anyone in the 10 mile radius mentions his name.

The only downside? You had severely underestimated the change in the dynamics of your friendship.

Mark was no longer a 10 year old geek calling you some stupid non offensive insult. He was a teenage boy. And like all teenage boys, he did teenage boy things.

Like thinking and talking about girls all day long. Spending more time looking and grasping at potential date opportunities then spending time doing his homework.

The both of you were on opposite sides of the school hierarchy. He had his popular friends and you were a known loser. He only socialized with those that would rather be caught dead then fraternizing with your type.

The not so attractive slightly nerdy students.

But you did have a minor glow up. Maybe now the two of you could go back to being friends. You didn't expect him to like you back.

All you wanted now was him to have a normal conversation that was not "Excuse me".

You had hoped he wouldn't notice his new found popularity and pretend you never existed but he did much to your dismay.

"Aww, I scored better than you. Look!" You had boasted with a smile handing him the paper. He had only scored a point less than you but that's how things had always been. Reading each other over who did better.

"Whatever. Why do you care so much?" He sneered in annoyance before walking off.

The smile on your face dropped instantly. You knew it was stupid to hope for things to go back to the way it was but you hadn't expected such a cold response.

He had changed.

January 2013.

It was just another day. You were having a mindless chat with your friend. Being 13 year old girls, the conversation automatically ended up about boys and crushes.

"You really had a crush on Sam? He is as dumb as a bolt!" Your friend exclaimed.

You contemplated whether or not to come clean to her. You had grown quite close to her and considered her one of your more trustworthy friends.

"I never liked him. It was just a rumor." You clarified.

"Then why did you confess to him?" She asked confused.

'Whats the worse that could happen?' you thought and decided to tell her.

"I liked someone else but I was scared to tell anyone. I just kept quiet and let people assume whatever." You whispered.

"Oh my god who was it?" She asked her curiosity now through the roof.

"I'll tell you if you tell me who you have a crush on now." You struck a deal.

"Fine. He's in our class right now. He is smart. He is good-looking. And he wears the cutest glasses." She said flustered at the thought of her crush.

The only boy you knew in class that was good looking and smart was Mark. Not that you had even laid your eyes on other boys.

"Mark?" You asked as a joke secretly hoping she said no.

"Yeah." She whispered back. "Now tell me who did you actually like?"

You not your lip. "Mark."

The both of you sat in silence for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.

What a coincidence!

A few days passed and the situation that seemed funny earlier did not evoke the same feelings as you saw your friend get close to him.

Mark and you drifted apart and he became closer to your friend.

You went from having little conversation to practically being non existent to him.

It filled you with envy. Why did he give every girl a shot at the love story you so wished to have with him? Every girl except you?

He was a real heartbreaker.

February 2014.

You were finally secure in your life. You had a support system. Friends who understood you.

You opened up to them about Mark and they understood. You finally felt at peace.

You had left the chapter of his behind you. That was until Mark got himself a new girlfriend.

You never understood how they met. They were polar opposites.

Mark was academically driven. She was failing a vast majority of her classes.

Mark didn't have a single artistic bone in his body. She was an aspiring actor.

You wished you could hate her. But every single negative thought that passed your mind just seemed like envy and insecurity.

She was pretty in a conventional yet underrated way. She was so petite. She didn't talk too loud or eat like a man or laugh with her mouth open.

She was elegant and graceful and everything you were not. It was a cold and unfriendly reminder that you were not and never will be Mark's type.

He was unreachable.

October 2014.

Mark and his girlfriend were going on strong. They were a power couple in school.

And it took every single ounce of strength and sanity in you to not have a mental breakdown every time you saw the two of them together.

They were such an unlikely pair yet it made so much sense.

They made so much sense.

Seeing them and knowing you could never have something as romantic and pure as them.

She and Mark had been caught kissing in an empty classroom.

When you first heard about it, you refused to believe it. You were so incredibly jealous of her. She was living your dream.

But you couldn't help but feel bad for her. The entire ordeal ended up with her being slutshamed by classmates and teachers alike.

You felt really bad. Despite wanting to hate her you couldn't bring yourself to do so. The students would pass comments everytime she was around. The teachers were no different.

"Maybe if you focussed less on finding abandoned places to kiss boys and more in class maybe you would score more." A teacher had said in class.

"Ma'am I will respectfully ask you to apologize to her. We agree what we did was wrong. But there is no need to shame her in front of class." Mark had stood up and spoken loudly.

The entire room shut up instantly. No one had expected him to do that. Standing up for his girlfriend in a very Asian school. The teacher and he went back and forth until the teacher fed up left the class.

You always respected him. But the level of respect you had for him after seeing what he did for his girlfriend transcended any emotion you were feeling in the moment.

And it only made you fall for him more.

He was a good boyfriend.

June 2015.

Academic stress had hit an all time high. You had no time to ponder over what Mark was doing. All his friends were transferring to new schools. And you assumed he would do the same.

You were shocked to walk in class on the first day and sitting on the first seat talking to another boy excitedly.

You cover your face and speed to the back of the class.

He was in everyone of your classes. The fact made you more anxious than giddy like it did a few years ago.

The stress about your future added with the stress of your forever crush being in your presence all day long was paralyzing.

A small part of you wished he would turn around and greet you but he looked straight ahead the whole day.

He would always around.

March 2017.

The last two years of school breezed past in a snap. You had alternated between studying for medschool and yearning for Mark.

Meanwhile he kept to himself. The only time he ever approached you was when he wanted help with projects or assignments.

You knew it was wrong to help him. Especially when it was so obvious that he was taking advantage of you but you couldn't help it.

You still wanted him as much as you did 8 years ago. He will always be your dream man. You hoped that maybe helping him would make him look at you in a new light but all that was merely wishful thinking.

"I wanna be a surgeon," he told me as you hunched over the desk pretending to read our biology textbook.

"Really? I wanna be a doctor." You told him.

"Still? Psychiatrist right?" He asked.

"You remember?" You ask him surprised.

"Of course" He smiled at you.

And just like that all the emotions that you had fought and kept at bay came back all at once.

He was a real charmer.

May 2017.

It was the last day of school. You knew you would never see Mark again.

Except of school reunions maybe but who is to say either of you would even attend.

You had made up your mind. You would confess to him. You weren't gonna see him again anyways.

Although you do admit you had spent countless hours fantasizing what it would be like if you ended up going to the same college. Would he finally give you a chance? Would he go and date another perfect girl?

But the chances were slim.

The last bell had rang and students poured out of their classes.

You approached him with a nervous demeanor.

"Hey, Mark. Can we talk?" You asked him.

"Yeah. What's up?" He asked.

You open your mouth to profess your undying love for him but before you could utter a single world you hear your teacher calling for the both of you.

"You both did so well in your finals. Y/N, I need to talk to you about some stuff. Can you stay back?" She looked at you.

"Yes, of course." You answer looking at Mark.

"You can leave now, Mark." She told him and dragged you away.

You wanted to run back and tell him "I love you. I've loved you since we were 10." But you just let yourself be dragged away by your teacher.

Maybe it was a sign from the universe.

He was never yours.

July 2017.

It was graduation.

You didn't think Mark would be here. You heard from a mutual friend that he got into his dream college.

You were happy for him really.

But standing at the gates of your school you saw him again. Wearing the same goofy smile as always surrounded by people.

You walk upto him. "Hey, guys. Finally done with this hellhole."

They all laugh as a wave of nostalgia hits them. Reminiscing the time spent.

"I heard you got into your dream college. Congratulations!" I wish Mark.

"Yeah. What about you?" He asked seeming genuinely curious.

"I'm gonna take a year off for mental health. I don't know if I wanna pursue medicine anymore. I don't have the brains for it." You laugh.

"Are you kidding? You're like the smartest person I know! Don't give up. For my sake?" He said in a pleading voice.

"For your sake? And who are you?" You laugh at him.

"Only like your bestest friend ever, Miss. VIP." He said his eyes crinkling as his smile got bigger.

"You remember that? Oh my god we were so lame." You lean into him as he lets out a laugh agreeing you.

And just like that the two of you were 10 again. And you fell in love with him and everything he did for a millionth time.

"You said we needed to talk that day. What was it about?" He asked out of nowhere.

You were tempted to tell him everything.

How you've been in love with him for ages.

How he made you feel. Makes you feel.

A thousand words on the tip of your tongue. You looked deep in his eye hoping to see a fraction of the things you felt for him. But all you could see was the reflection of a young girl hopelessly in love with a boy who would never see her the same way.

"Nothing. Just wanted to ask about where you were applying for college." You lied effortlessly.

The two of you stood together as the ceremony started.

He was just a fantasy.

August 2018.

Its been a year since you saw Mark.

He got busy with college and you understood.

Its not like you were that close anyways.

You would occasionally check his Instagram page. He had a new girlfriend you saw. It didn't fill you with envy. You were happy for him. It was a bittersweet happiness.

You had often wondered whether you had truly loved him.

Did you love Mark Lee as a person or the person you had made him up to be in your head? Was he really your soulmate or just a chapter in your book that you read to your children years from now?

Was it really love? Or was it childhood infatuation?

"Heard you got into medschool. Congratulations future Dr. Y/N!" He texted.

And just like that you fell for him again.

Afterall, he was your first love.

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thissying · 5 months ago

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FORMULE 1 Magazine, 2017, number 6

former go-kart opponents about Max

Jordy Lievens karted against Verstappen from 2006 through 2009

"At Spa I once had a good weekend. During practices and the races I had made a fairly strong impression. Max said: "Wow, he's fast!" Even then you knew you were doing a good job if Max Verstappen said something like that about you. I started my karting career when I was about seven years old, at the same time as Max. In my first race he lapped me but at the end of the season the gap was smaller. With the rest of the field anyway, because nobody could beat Max. The rest of us fought for second place. The number of races he didn't win could be counted on one hand. And that would be because of a rare mistake, or engine failure.

"At first we didn't really know who Max was and that his dad had been a Formula 1 driver. After some time we found this out. My dad and I even bought a go-kart from Max and Jos. We went to pick it up at their workshop. Our jaws were on the floor: racks full of karts, their own test bench, engines to choose from. If you compared that to us… I had one kart per season. When we weren't driving, I played at the track with the other drivers my age. Max was a very friendly boy. You could chat with him and you wouldn't be able to tell he was head and shoulders above the rest.

"Now that Max has made it into F1, I follow him with extra interest. I did race against him for years after all. Despite being from Belgium, I'm more of a Max supporter than a Stoffel Vandoorne one. Simply because of all the experiences and memories from the past. A while ago friends of mine met Max. The mentioned my name and he remembered me. As long as he hasn't forgotten me, I'm satisfied."

Bas Lammers karted against Verstappen in 2012 and 2013

End of 2013 I was at the start with Max in Las Vegas. That's where they have a traditional kartrace right in the city center, in the parking lot of the Rio hotel. The very best go-karters from America and Europe participate. Max won all the heats. He just had to finish first in the final and then he'd win ten-thousand dollars. He had a great start but his engine stalled. Huge bad luck even though everyone was already blown away by him. That year Max and I drove in the European and World Championships. He won both. He really was superior. Everywhere we came, Max was was on it from the first practice. For us, he was the reference point. On very rare occasions he made a mistake; we had to take advantage of that immediately. He did get defeated sometimes because nobody is unbeatable, but it took a lot of effort.

"Before I karted against Max, I'd driven Formula Renault. That went well but I didn't have the right people around me to help me along in autosport. That's why I returned to go-karts. When I raced against Max there for the first time in 2012, it was clear right away that he was exceptionally quick. But I knew that right from the beginning. I talked to Jos every now and then on the track and knew he puts everything aside if he wants something.

"From the moment Jos put Max in a go-kart it was clear: he had to go to Formule 1. Max did everything to get there as well. He was always busy watching race footage. After every practice and race he cleaned his go-kart. I'm very happy and proud that I had the privilege to race with Max. Most F1 drivers left karting a long time ago, but not Max. That's why he's actually a go-karter in an F1 car. He is one with his car like he was one with his kart. He shows that karting has taught him a lot, which makes me very proud as well."

#f1 #max verstappen #max lore #praise kink but it's other people praising max #my post

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finnglas · 5 months ago

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Let me tell you a funny story about baseball.

I'm not a sports gay. I enjoy some sports a moderate amount. (I discovered during the 2024 Paralympics that I really enjoy women's wheelchair basketball. Hot ladies with shoulders, and no squeaky basketball shoe sounds to make me want to rupture both eardrums! But I digress.) The one sport that I've traditionally enjoyed, both playing and watching, is baseball.

For a brief period of time, around 2008-2009, I followed MLB pretty closely. I very carefully decided I was going to have A Team that was my team, and deliberately chose said team. I had some requirements: I wanted a team who was in the American League, not the National League (don't ask, idk), and I wanted one that had been around since the beginning of said league, not one of the newcomers. I also wanted them to have some connection to something I enjoyed, even if it was only that I liked the team uniforms. I ended up with a primary team (the Chicago White Sox) and a secondary team (the Boston Red Sox). (Did I call myself a polysoxxer? I did. Leave me alone.)

Anyway. I followed them religiously. I had the best experience of living in Charlotte, NC, where the White Sox had a farm team in the Charlotte Knights, and I knew exactly which players were in town while they were recovering from an injury - oh, and one time they played an exhibition game and I paid extra for a seat directly behind the White Sox dugout, and was in arm's reach of Carlos Quentin, my absolute favorite player.

Anyway. Things happened. The White Sox traded Quentin and fired Ozzie Guillen. Half my Red Sox got traded - some of them to the *mutters* Yankees. Varitek retired in 2012. I got busy. I hit a period of deep clinical depression. I finally admitted to myself I was queer and started getting more into connecting with the queer scene in town. And I quit following both teams. They weren't "mine" anymore.

For a period of several years, any time I'd express any interest in baseball, people would ask who my team was, and I'd joke that I needed to do some interviews and find a new one. Couldn't be the Tampa Bay Rays because I'm still mad at them for changing the name from the Devil Rays because the new owner is some weirdo Christian, didn't really care about the rest. (My dad, who has been loyal to the St Louis Cardinals since he was eight years old, is baffled as to why I didn't just come over to his team. Well, Dad, they're National League for one thing.)

Well, a few weeks ago, I was traveling for work and I wanted some background noise in the hotel room so I turned on the television. It was on MLB, but on commercial break. I was like you know what? It's time I got a new baseball team. Whoever is playing, I'm going to pick one of these two teams as my new team, provided it's not the Cardinals or the Rays.

Reader. Do you know who was playing that night?

It was the Chicago White Sox vs the Boston Red Sox.

Anyway so I got back together with both my exes during the worst season in the White Sox's history, and every time I see a new update about how bad they're doing I just have to be like, yep, that's my team.

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tomssexdoll · 10 months ago

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can you do where reader and Tom were best friends and Tom was secretly crushing on her at school like 2003-2005 but then Tom had to leave the school because he got famous and had to go to tour and stuff and school was pretty hard for him but in 2009 he sees reader somewhere like in a restaurant and they talk about old times and then they go to reader’s house and then it ends with smut

i love this idea sm

Gone too long

PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader CONTENT: FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Y/N and Tom were best friends in years ago, Tom had to leave in 2005 when his career started to peak, leaving Y/N all alone. She didn't know at the time but he had the biggest crush on her and leaving her was one of the worst things that could happen. Later in 2009 he still thinks about her everyday, and then one day sees her in a resturant, eating alone. A/N: ee WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary and riding), nipple play, teasing, squirting

When I was around 13, I met this guy named Tom, he was instantly my best friend and we hung out for days on end, every time we'd see each other we'd always work to one specific corner store and order the same thing every time.

But in 2005, his music career started to rise and he got more attention. I'd always helped him and the band with getting gigs at small bars or house parties but they never really became super famous.

He had to leave and I was devistated, 2 years of friendship wasted. Little did he know I had the fattest crush on him.

As the years went by I watched as his career progressed, him turning into a handsome young man. One day I decided to go eat out alone, not let my thoughts get the best of me.

I picked a cute little resturant, a family owned business that had recently opened, everyone I know was saying how good this place was, even celebrities were going.

I opened the swinging doors, greeted by a waiter and being sat at a 50s themed booth. I skimmed over the menu, looking at all the delicious options, things from chicken burgers to beef burgers to nuggets to fries to milkshakes.

I chose a strawberry milkshake and a beef burger with a side of fries, I hadn't eaten breakfast earlier so I was super hungry. I looked around the place, noticing how all the customers looked so happy, couples sharing milkshakes, families bonding and eating.

Then, I saw a guy sitting alone, black braids with a black bandana, I decided to ignore him but I couldn't shake the feeling off that he was staring at me. I decided to look again and my eyes widened, a familiar face, the face I've loved for years.

I realized it was Tom and he had realized it was me, I saw him stand up with his food and rush over to me, sitting down in the booth, we were both speechless, surprised to be seeing each other after so long.

"Hey Y/N..it's been a while" he smiled softly, I nodded, not being able to form words, super shocked that he was actually in front of me after so long. "So..how are you?" he chuckled, munching on his fries.

"Fuck..uh..." I snapped out of my trance, "i'm fine..I have a really cool job and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you..I watched all your interviews in hopes you'd maybe talk about me" I confessed, my cheeks flushing red, turning my head to look away from him.

"I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you too, I'd try distract myself but you always clouded my thoughts" he chuckled, reaching his hand out and grabbing mine, causing me to snap my head back to him.

"I'm glad I could see you again, you've grown so much" he smirked "you're very beautiful" he teased, sending a little wink. I giggled, "you're very handsome yourself Tom, I love the braids"

For the next 3 hours we talked about old times, what we used to get up to and what we've been doing for the past 4 years. The resturant was near closing, we didn't even notice that we had been chatting for so long, we just had so much to catch up on and so much chemistry, the conversation never went awkward.

"Hey folks, the resturant is closing now, can we ask if you can pay your Bill and leave? We're so sorry" the waiter came up to us, "oh of course!" I smiled, going up to the counter to pay for my meal, "no no, let me pay liebe" I chuckled "liebe? You haven't called me that since 2004, who do you think you are" I said playfully, a smug grin appearing on his face as he payed for my meal.

"Thanks for that Tom" I leaned in, kissing his cheek sweetly and holding onto his hand, our fingers interlocking. I had walked to the resturant since it was so close to my house, Tom of course drived, his black sports car waiting outside.

"You wanna go back to mine? I really did miss you, I don't want our little date to get cut short" he frowned, looking down at me, "of course I want to" I smiled, pulling him with me to his car.

He opened the door for me, "why thank you" I smirked and got into the passanger seat, buckling myself up. He came to the side and got into the drivers seat, starting the car.

He sneakily slid a hand on my thigh as he started to drive. I rolled the window down, the cool breeze hitting my skin, sending goosebumps all over my arms.

I looked at the empty streets, admiring the yellowy glow of the street lights. As we arrived to his house he guided me in, bringing me to the lounge room. I sat on the couch as he dissapeared to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of champagne for me and him, 2 glasses in his other hand.

He sat down next to me, pouring us a glass. We continued to talk for another hour, sipping at our drinks. Eventually we got tipsy, tension starting to fill the room. I had taken my jacket off, my boobs nearly buldging out of my tank top.

I noticed the way he just stared at my cleavage, a tent forming in his pants. "Tom" I called out, "oh..sorry" he chuckled, scratching his neck nervously.

I smirked and climbed onto his lap, smashing his lips into mine. His hands immediately flew to my hips, holding them tightly, deepening the kiss.

"Mm.." I moaned into the kiss, Tom slipping his tongue into my mouth and bucking his hips up, grinding against me softly. Our tongues fought for dominance, getting heated quickly.

He picked me up, holding me by my ass and walking towards his room, our lips still glued together. He pulled away for a moment, throwing me onto the bed and crawling to me, smashing his lips into mine again, grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head.

"Tom!" I gasped, his kisses trailing down to my neck, sucking roughly and leaving marks everywhere, basically claiming me as his. "Fuck.." he groaned, pushing his erection onto my stomach.

He let go of my hands, tugging at my shirt and pulling it off, along with my bra, revealing my perky breasts, nipples hard. "Ohh my god.." his breath hitched, leaning down and latching onto one of my nipples, sucking harshly.

I whined, "oh fuck! mm Tom!" arching my back, his cock pressing into me harder. He started to take his shirt off, along with his pants and boxers, leaving him completely nude all while kissing and sucking on my nipples.

He eventually let go, dragging my skirt off and rubbing my clit over my panties softly, my hips bucking up "ohh..someones excited" he smirked, peeling them off and throwing them to the side.

I whined, growing impatient, he detected this and smirked, aligning himself at my entrance, slowly pushing in. "Oh fuck!" I cried out, holding onto his biceps as he stretched me out slowly, making sure it didn't hurt.

After bottoming himself out he started to thrust slowly, trying to get me adjusted to his size. "Fuck..Tom you're so big.." I groaned, scratching at his back, he chuckled and started to thrust faster.

Eventually he started to pound into me, hitting my g spot repeatedly, "fuck.." he grunted, leaning down and starting sucking on my nipples again, swirling his tongue around my sensitive buds, little moans escaping my mouth.

I whimpered, his cock slamming into me cruely, stabbing at my g spot desperatly, his cock throbbing in my tight wetness. He grabbed my hips tightly, grazing his teeth over my nipples.

I felt tension build up in my stomach, twisting into a tight knot. He threw his head back, mouth slightly agape, cock twitching in me.

He groaned, feeling his balls tighten as he neared his orgasm. He could feel me clenching around his cock, causing him to lose control, "I'm gonna cum! Fuck!" he groaned, ejaculating and spurting his hot cum into me pussy, filling it to the brim.

I moaned at the sensation of my pussy being filled, my orgasm crashing down, juices spilling all over his cock. "Holy fuck.." I panted, Tom fell down onto the bed next to me, catching his breath.

Before I knew it I was on his cock again, he grabbed me by my waist and easily picked me up, slamming me back down onto his length, making me ride him.

"Oh fuck!" I whined, he grabbed my hips and started to help me move up and down on his cock, "you're so fucking hot.." he growled, slapping my ass harshly.

I yelped and rode faster, his tip hitting all the right spots, "that's right baby, ride my cock like the little slut you are.." he grinned, reaching out and fondling my bouncing breasts, rubbing his thumb over my nipple.

"Ohh fuck!" I whined, bouncing up and down on his cock, chasing another orgasm, my cunt dripping with juices. I threw my head back, the pleasure taking over my body, no thoughts being processed in my head.

He started to thrust up into me, meeting my movements. Hands squeezing my breasts roughly, "taking my cock so well..such a good girl" he praised, I felt my climax building again.

I was drunk on his cock, it was like drugs to me, addicting. He smirked, smacking my ass again, balls slapping onto my ass, hips slamming into mine roughly.

"Cum on this cock again, now" he commanded, I cried out and dug my nails into his shoulders, legs twitching as I came again, a clear stream of liquid spilling onto his abdomen.

"Holy shit!" I whined, collapsing onto his chest as he came deep in me again, fucking the cum into my pussy so it wouldn't spill out. He layed onto the bed, pulling me with him, pulling out slowly and cleaning me up.

"I missed you so much baby..you've been gone for too long.." he looked deeply into my eyes, brushing stray hairs away from my face and kissing me softly.

"I'm so happy I can be in your arms again" I smiled, kissing him back gently.

tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @kaulitzsbabyy @ballhair @bkaulitzlover @estxkios @charliesgoodboy @tomsonlyslut @ge-billsgf

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justzawe · 1 year ago

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Zawe Ashton Covers AMAZING Magazine | Issue 4

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

#zawe ashton #amazing magazine #interview

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steveharrington · 5 months ago

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i love your taste in movies, do you have any recommendations for scary movies that are on streaming right now? i just moved and i'm planning to get a library card this weekend but until then i need something to tide me over :)

oh thank you!!! yes! this is just from taking a look around at some of the horror streaming guides i’ve seen online so hopefully these are accurate to which service they’re said to be on!

on netflix:

•train to busan (2016) is an all timer for me that i really think is just a masterpiece. even if you’re a little burned out on zombie media, i still say give train to busan a chance because it does zombies in a way that felt really refreshing and different. the characters in this movie are so well done and it makes me genuinely emotional every time i watch <3

•as above, so below (2014) is such a fun movie like omg….i simply was having the time of my life watching it. really leans into as many scares as it can possibly think of, doesn’t take itself or its subject matter too seriously, genuinely gives me sweaty palms sometimes with the claustrophobia of the paris catacombs. also has the rlly cute guy from cloverfield/super store who i have a big crush on

•some honorable mentions: zombieland (2009) is forever a comfort movie for me, scary stories to tell in the dark (2019) did a genuinely great job imo of adapting the book series, and pearl (2022) is just a great time

on HBO max:

•poltergeist (1982) is an underrated fav of mine <3 weirdly i think of it as like a family friendly horror movie? like i think you could sit down kids in front of poltergeist and they’d generally be okay, which i love and find so compelling in movies that genuinely are scary but also kinda work with younger viewers. feat. the iconic zelda rubinstein

•trick r treat (2007): THEEE halloween movie. its literally a movie ABOUT halloween and about the love of the holiday and the season. genuinely makes me feel so emotional about halloween and the beautiful lovely meaningful holiday it is for so many of us. just a fun campy time, everything ties together in such a clever way, and sam is a little baby. what more could you want?

•honorable mentions: of course the scream franchise (1-4) are classics and so worthy of rewatching, and i’ll recommend open water (2003) because to me it is absolutely terrifying and i find myself thinking about it very often

on hulu:

•the omen (1976) always hits for me. i love this movie and find it so effective in its horror. i LOVE a creepy kid. a bit of the omen trivia: in the final shot, damien wasn’t originally intended to be smiling. he was supposed to look dead ahead at the camera. but the actor was told to be serious and look stern, which made him giggle, so the smile at the end is genuine in that he was trying to suppress a laugh. they kept it because it came across so sinister and tonally perfect in the context of the movie :)

•sea fever (2020) listen no one EVER talks about this movie but i was blown away by it. ocean horror is one of my moms fav subgenres so if we can find a horror movie about the ocean you better believe we will be watching. i thought the concept of this movie and its monster (? if you can call it that) were so fresh and original. compared to its predecessors like leviathan or deep star six, i honestly think sea fever is more effective in its scares

•honorable mentions: hulu has so many good choices! alien (1979) and the fly (1986) are obviously beloved classics for a reason. also if you’re looking for a series, castle rock is near and dear to my heart and is very well done

on prime:

•hell house llc (2015) is another one of those classic Halloween movies to me like it truly is a love letter to the holiday…mwah. found footage is my fav subgenre and this movie does it very well. it has one of the most effective scares that truly took my breath away upon first watch and stuck with me ever since

•10 cloverfield lane (2016): ohhh the cloververse my beloved….i often speak highly of cloverfield (2008) because it’s one of my absolute favorite movies of all time, but i don’t as often talk about 10 cloverfield. not sure why tbh because i love it as well! holy FUCK john goodman is scary in this. it truly sets up a horrifying situation, does so much with a small limited environment, and again john goodman has me shakin in my boots. you don’t have to have seen cloverfield to watch this one! you can watch em out of order no problem

•honorable mentions: of course the thing (1982) is immaculate and gets me every single time. just getting reports right now that lisa frankenstein (2024) is already on prime, HIGHLY recommend, wish i could go back in time to the day i watched this in theaters alone in a new windbreaker i had just thrifted and felt so at peace

honorable streaming service mention: shudder is worth a subscription if you’re wanting to go all in on horror this halloween season. it’s got such a fun eclectic collection and amazing movies like late night with the devil (2024) and series like history of horror

#tried to do a little mix of the more classic recommendations with some that may not come up as often!#out of everything on this list i would honestly highlight sea fever and hell house llc if you’re wanting to branch out #i think watching these smaller and lower budget films is really what partaking in the genre is all about #watching how well people can scare you when you’re least expecting it!#answered #anon

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