#might spread it out across multiple posts though to make up for it only being one moon
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spireclangen · 1 year ago
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Moon 7
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katshelluvacritic · 10 months ago
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Charlie Morningstar is probably one of the worst written characters I’ve seen in the series.
(This one’s gonna be a long one…)
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Ok…. So I watched all six episodes and to be honest I’m pretty much pissed off by this character specifically. This might be more of a rant rather than a critique, so I do understand that not everything I say in this will end up being as constructive exactly but I genuinely need to get this off my chest, especially since she is a character I’ve specifically and recently been hyper fixating on before the show released…
(Side note: I realized the post was very long so, to have it be easier to read I added titles for each section! Hope this helps)
!!WARNING FOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES BTW!!
> Charlie lacks the qualities of being a main character.
Now besides the piss poor excuse of an introduction for her (and the rest of the cast) in the main series, I honestly question why exactly Charlie specifically is the “protagonist” in the first place (and I say protagonist with the biggest of quotes here, you’ll see why).
In the first episode of the series “overture”, we don’t really see much of her character, most of the time we’re shown screen time of Vicky (a nickname I made for v*ggie since I’m not gonna call her by her genitalia thank you) trying to make an ad for the hotel and even when we do get the screen time of her, she’s barely doing anything other than hearing viv’s self insert- I mean- Adam just go on and on about whatever he’s talking about.
And when Charlie does go on to explain her plan to redeem sinners she’s just interrupted and then stands there when they start singing hell is forever, she doesn’t “go off” like the hazbin Twitter says, she just stands there and then tries to say something only to get interrupted again and again and then gets pushed out of the meeting room before going back to the hotel to see it’s spread across in the news that the next extermination happens in 6 months.
Now although one might argue “Well didn’t Charlie at one point said in the show that giving orders is so mean?” Well yes but again, Charlie is literally the princess of pride ring, you would think that since her parents are literally rulers of pride, they would’ve probably teach her how to stand on her two feat, especially if your RUNNING A HOTEL. And the thing is, she has stood up and did so in episode 6 and the goddamn pilot (which is at this point is probably canon due to Charlie calling it the hazbin hotel instead of happy hotel), even going as far as to fight Katie Killjoy because she thought it was stupid.
Not only that but the episodes after overture, her screen time lessens until somewhat in 5 and 6. She doesn’t really appear that much in the between these episodes to the point where she feels like a supporting character rather than a protagonist. And when she does get screen time, she’s either forgettable at best and infuriating at worst.
> Charlie’s character is poorly written and just dumb.
In the episodes past overture, she’s literally rock solid stupid that I literally screamed in real life multiple times “you’re a fucking idiot” because of how frustrated I was from what she was doing, In episode 2 she literally trusted sir pentious to go to her hotel even though he almost destroyed her place and in episode 6 thought it was a hunky dory idea to let a person who literally exploded buildings to take charge of giving her employees a “good time”. Yes it could be played off as her being naive but if she’s that naive of a person then maybe she shouldn’t be a boss of a hotel to rehabilitate sinners.
Heck, in episode 4, Charlie gets pissed off and turns into her demon form because val literally started hurting Angel when he followed him into the room (and rightfully so) but when angel tells her to leave and drags her out of the studio, she’s just in her normal form and fucks off??? Reminder she’s literally the princess of hell! She could beat the shit out of val if she wants to, why did she just fucked off after angel had her leave?
“But Kat, what if something bad happens to angel if valentino dies?” Like what? If it was explained that if an overlord dies then the sinners that made a deal with them die too or something like that then yeah, that would make sense but we don’t know that whether or not that’s the case, if anything angel could be just fine after Valentino dies but we don’t know that.
And even when Charlie had the opportunity to go out there and apologize to him herself after he stormed out of the hotel, she and Vicky just send Husk to do it. And I have to ask, WHY? HUSK didn’t know what was happening to Angel earlier. HUSK wasn’t at the porn studio that Angel was working at. CHARLIE WAS….
“Well Kat, what if Charlie was scared about making things worse?” Fair enough, but again sending Husk is a stupid idea, I feel like it would’ve AT LEAST made sense if she sent Vicky out there. Because Charlie didn’t know if husk could fight (if you could even call it that, all he did was throw cards at people), BUT SHE KNEW VICKY COULD THOUGH. But nah we gotta do it for the ship right?
And then Charlie had the gull to be crying that angel forgave her after she fucked up, like shut the fuck up… it’s like if viv looked at a bunch of chars that had the optimistic care-free ‘ish personality and thought that meant making her as pathetic as a baby crying that they didn’t get a lollipop from their mommy.
Like I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s literally gone to a point where I think Orel Puppington (aka the 11 yo Christian kid who worships Jesus and gets harmful lessons from other Christians) makes a better Charlie Morningstar than the Charlie Morningstar herself!
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And that thought is justified when he tried to go help people in Sinville, “Kat he ended up turning into a pimp at the end of the episode” yeah but AT LEAST HE TRIED TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING! Which leads me to another question….
> How is Charlie gonna redeem sinners exactly???
Like honestly, I’m serous with this one. How is Charlie gonna redeem these guys?
I ask this because in the series, she barely does ANYTHING to help these guys, she and the rest of the characters just sit around and then do an activity that is the equivalent of something you would do in kindergarten except it’s with ADULTS.
I don’t know about you but If your idea of helping people is doing just that and nothing else, then the only thing the people around you are gonna get is them being annoyed at first and eventually walking out with thinking your not helping them but rather just treating them like a baby who doesn’t know anything, and the only thing your gonna get personally is nothing because you did dick all.
Like other than that she pretty much just whines about sinners not going to her hotel and oh gee I wonder why, it’s not like your not doing anything to help these sinners not committing sins anymore, oh definitely not, your absolutely being helpful.
“Oh but Kat! Charlie was born in hell, how can she know how to help people? She’s not from the human world so, she wouldn’t exactly know how to help these people!” I would tell you to look at the world building for the series and it’s spin off but that’s a whole other can of beans that I don’t wanna cover today and this is already getting to long, so y’know what? We’ll go with that.
If Charlie didn’t know how to help people and was trying to figure out what she can do to help sinners get better, then why didn’t she just ask her employees for suggestions? Y’know, the other sinners who were from the human world and had experiences while they were alive and such?
Yeah, I get that not all of their advice would be exactly good or healthy (since they’re sinners who’ve done many bad things after all) BUT ITS AT LEAST SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!
She literally does nothing, she just expects you to immediately get better after some improvisations or whatever other activities she does and once you’ve done one nice thing then boom you’re close to redemption.
> Conclusion.
Charlie Morningstar is (like I said in the beginning) probably one of the worst characters in the hazbin hotel series, she at best a stereotype of the “everything is sunshines and rainbows” character tropes and at worst is a pathetic excuse of a main character and is nothing but a rotten shell of her character from the pilot.
I would go on about how her design’s also bad but I’m sure millions of people have already said the same issues and I’ve already posted my redesign of her before the show dropped.
I might plan on posting a rewrite of her or maybe explain my problems with another character or episode but I don’t know.
But until then, I’ll see y’all later!
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reactionimagesdaily · 2 years ago
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if someone was on the fence abt checking out any of your hyperfixations, what would you tell them to persuade them to actually look into it?
basically: what do you think are the best points/parts of the hyperfixes?
Ooh, this is an interesting question! (Thank you for asking it!) I'll have to put some thought in my answer to this one. Or, since you guys are reading this after I've written it, I will have put some thought into this answer xD
Anyways! I'll go through each hyperfixation I mentioned in the QnA post piecemeal, starting with...
(continued under the cut because this one turned into kinda long one, whoops)
BIONICLE
I've already talked at about as much length as I've been able to get away with about Bionicle on this blog, including this post where I do my best to surmize the entire Bionicle canon, and this post where I was asked to show off my Bionicle collection. (Good times xD)
If someone's on the fence about Bionicle, I'd be honest and tell them that it's a story spread out of a great deal of expanded media (toys, comics, online serials, movies, and videos) that was all released between 2001 and 2010. Not that it'll be impossible to consume the story and enjoy it, but it might get a bit finnicky. xD
If you're willing to give it a try, though, you'll be met with, in my obviously biased opinion, a really damn good story. The fact that it's so sprawling, and there are so many smaller stories in it, means that the world feels incredibly realised, and there's probably at least half a dozen serials and comics that fit the exact tone your looking for; whether that tone is 'character gets cut in half by an interdimensional portal that closes on them while they're only partly through', or 'character makes a canon "I use two guns because I have two hands" joke'.
The real strength of the story, though, is that it's very cheesy in a lot of ways, but it's played straight enough, and delivered with enough heart, that it becomes very earnest and a joy to experience. It feels like a classic 'epic' story, akin to something like Lord of the Rings - in LOTR, Aragorn leads the Army of the Dead to save the besieged Minas Tirith from Sauron’s Orcs, and in Bionicle, Jaller leads the Ta-Koro Guard and the Gukko Force to save the Chronicler’s Company from the Rahi. It's that kinda vibe, you know? There's a lot of weird and crazy stuff inside (both in a whimsical sense and in a horrifying sense), but it's played straight, internally consistent, and manages to be cool more often than not. If that sounds like you're thing, then I think Bionicle might be worth checking out :)
TLDR BEST PART: 'Epic' story told across multiple media that's a lot of fun digging into
FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS
Oh, Fallout: New Vegas, my beloved. The more experienced with RPG videogames I've gained over the years, the more convinced I've become that New Vegas is the best RPG videogame. Ok, if you're on the fence about New Vegas, here's what I'd say: the level of narrative control that the player gets is incredible.
A lot of RPG games have an issue where you're kinda railroaded into a plot. To use other examples from the same series; in Fallout 3, you being from a vault with a scientist father is a non-negotiable aspect to your character. (And you probably murdered a whole bunch of security guards to actually leave the vault, whoops.) In Fallout 4, the game's entire plot hinges on whether you give a toss about your kidnapped son - if you don't, or you want to play a character that doesn't, there's a real lack of immersion in so much of the world you interact with, because the game takes for granted the idea that you're invested in the story they've come up with.
In Fallout New Vegas, you are linked to the plot by a single inciting incident (that I won't spoil here because I think it's kinda cool to experience lmao). You wake up, you spend like 8 minutes (or 30 seconds if you know what you want from the get-go) making your character, you leave the building you start in, and from then on, you have total narrative freedom. The plot runs entirely off of your own initiative - if you want to, you can go track it down from the get go (and most people do, because it's a good plot hook that raises a lot of intriguing questions), but if you want to, you can also ignore it completely!! You can follow it in multiple different ways, too - either following clues around the long end of the map, or beelining it through the most dangerous parts of the map straight to the city of New Vegas. And the way the dialogue and characters are written not only accounts for the choices you might make, but also doesn't PRESUME that you're going to deal with this plot, and doesn't force you to keep focusing your character on it all the time. It only comes up when other characters - who were involved in the plot before you ever came along - want to get you involved for their own benefit, and even then, you can feasibly tell 'em all to get stuffed if you want!
I've played through New Vegas like,,, 5-ish times, and I've gone in a different direction from that spawn more or less every time, and I've STILL had a fulfilling RPG experience that I can create a story out of every time so far! It almost feels like a sandbox game, and it's so weird and refreshing. For that aspect alone, I'd say it's worth giving a look! :D
(Also, uh, the actual plot and all of the side quests are really good, and the characters are really great and compelling, and the 4 story DLC are all separate experiences but also have their own interconnected story that coalesces into the last one which is really fuckin cool, and you can go on a mission to find a new brain for a cyborg dog that belongs to a leader of a gang of Elvis Presley impersonators, and also "Nobody's dick's that long. Not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick, hence the name" is an actual line of dialogue. Just please play New Vegas if you have any interest in story-driven videogames. I'm begging ya.)
TLDR BEST PART: ludicrous amounts of player freedom to engage with a really well-written story how they see fit
MASS EFFECT
Uh, yeah. Me bigging up another RPG videogame right after I just said that New Vegas was the best one is probably a bit weird, huh? (Especially bc I stand by that statement, New Vegas slaps, go play it)
But here's the thing. Mass Effect does essentially drag you along on a story it's telling. But the story it's telling is - for the most part! - really fucking compelling and well-put-together. It's this big, longform story set in a Star Trek universe (intimate and interesting sci-fi detail) with Star Wars protagonists (interesting, violent, madcap characters), and as someone who's had a lot of fun with modern science fiction, it hit really well for me xD
Actually, I'd take it further than 'hit really well' - I honestly have no idea why it worked for me specifically, but it was the most engaging and, like, visceral gaming experience I can remember having. Project Overlord had me hunched over a sink genuinely worried I was gonna throw up, the Citadel DLC had me laughing out loud and gleefully liveblogging my whole experience to my friends who'd already played it, and the ending - lame as I'd heard it was gonna be - still left a pit in my gut, in a good way.
(I think in my case it helped that I played it with the perfect level of contextual knowledge vs. going in blind. I did my first playthrough with the Legendary edition (all 3 games + all DLC in one remastered package), so I wasn't missing out on anything, and I knew going in that the ending was bad enough that people were complaining about coloured lights almost a decade down the line, which meant that I'd built it up enough in my head that when it happened I was like "oh, that wasn't actually that bad".)
My TLDR is that it's a really really engaging story with some ESPECIALLY amazing character work (oh, man, the characters/companions and the dynamics you can build with them basically make this trilogy). Just get the legendary edition (because some of the best companions are technically DLC, because fuckin' EA), get a friend who's played it before to nudge you and make sure you don't miss any of the little details, and assume that the ending sucks, and I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. :D
(Also the 4th game (Andromeda) isn't as bad as a lot of people say it is but my fixation here is really on the original trilogy, so that's what I'm referring to with this one. Fingers crossed for the 5th installment!)
TLDR BEST PART: Fun adventure with really well-realised characters that grips you emotionally in a way that few videogames (to my knowledge) have been able to lay claim to
WARRIOR CATS
I think the most interesting thing about this series is that it's pretty raw? for a series that's marketed to children?? I'm aware that's not a unique thing, I know about Animorphs and Watership Down - and hey, I grew up on The Clone Wars - but it's still noteworthy! And what's cool about it in Warrior Cats, like it is in these other media, is that it doesn't really feel forced, or gratuitous, or even necessarily contradict the fact that it's media aimed at a younger audience (even if I'm not sure they wouldn't have gotten away with some of the stuff they did if it wasn't done with cats lmao).
The main plot compliments these darker elements as well - it's essentially a character drama built around secrets and political espionage, as well as an outsider's perspective clashing with longstanding traditions; exploring why those traditions are in place, but also what kind of damage they can cause.
And hey, the characters are good too! I'd argue that the 'Clan' dynamic hits its peak in the first series (the first 6 books) and never really reaches the same heights in later series, but I think every story arc so far has had multiple characters that people have really enjoyed. The fact that the entire series has taken place over -multiple generations- at this point is something that a lot of other media doesn't get the chance to do, and it serves a lot of Warrior Cats' longform storytelling really well (even if some of the writing decisions that the authors have made over the decades have been [???] lmao).
TLDR BEST PART: Longform dramatic storytelling that has some really compelling character and plotwork, and also has some grim shit happen without going over-the-top or being obnoxious about it
(Personally I'd recommend just the first 9 books in the series - that's the 'Prophecies Begin' series and the first half 'New Prophecy' series - because I think that's Warrior Cats at its peak, but there's things to enjoy in every story arc if you want to read further ^_^)
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Aand that's me talking about those hyperfixations I mentioned! Sorry it took so long to finally publish an answer to this ask - a lot of thought went into this one xDD
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bemusedlybespectacled · 6 months ago
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also, like, "just stop giving them attention" doesn't work for con artists, which is what James is. they thrive off of people not knowing who they are, because then they can con those people, and you can't ever stop spreading that awareness because there will always be people who are only just stumbling across him now and don't know the history.
like, okay, look at Andy Blake/thanfiction. this is a guy who keeps running the same scam – trying to be fandom famous by pretending to be some kind of creative wunderkind and also, for some reason, starting cults centered around him – over and over again. he's done it in multiple fandoms, most notably LOTR and Harry Potter.
and for a long time, no one put together that "the LOTR hobbit cult guy" and the "Harry Potter fanfic cult guy" were the same person, because why would they? the anonymity of the internet and him coming up with wildly different backstories for both personas made connecting the two very difficult, even if you had somehow been present in both of those little fandom niches (which most people weren't - you could have been an avid LOTR and Harry Potter fan and never heard of either incident because of how massive those fandoms were).
BUT. fast forward to 2018. at this point he has not only run two cults and scammed people out of a lot of money and emotional energy, but there are now whole blogs devoted to debunking his many, many lies. he tries to worm his way into a friend group and discloses that he had "some mental health issues in the past" that caused some "fandom drama," without specifying that he was a fucking cult leader, abuser, and self-admitted rapist.
and at first it worked... until one of the friends Googled his name and found out exactly what he hadn't been telling them. they immediately kicked him to the curb after that, because, uh, this is a guy who starts cults? and abuses people?? and is a literal con artist, including a conviction for fucking charity fraud??? none of which they'd have known if there weren't people actively discussing him and making sure he didn't try to resurface and pull another scam again.
so now let's look at James. so far, he has:
started two scams – his Youtube channel and Telos, which I count as separate because some people donated to one but not the other – to con people out of thousands upon thousands of actual real-life money. not just attention and adoration and being treated like an authority and a celebrity – though he clearly wants that too – but, like, actual money.
used his "apologies"/"attempts to make amends" to try to get more money (ex: monetizing his second apology video)
changed his online handles multiple times to try to distance himself from Hbomb's video
created multiple sockpuppet accounts to argue on his behalf and post plagiarized nudes
created a fake linkedin for himself under a false name with almost certainly fake credentials and experience
attempted to rebrand his con on tiktok, where people might not have been exposed to the Hbomb video as much as on Youtube
and he's done all of this without ever once paying back any of the people he stole from or fully acknowledging what he did wrong.
there are always going to be people who, for whatever reason, will be unfamiliar with him, even if it's solely because they only just became old enough to be on the internet independently (remember, a lot of his followers were very young queer people who weren't familiar with actual queer media criticism and history). the only way to counteract that is to blow the whistle whenever he tries to start a new con.
if he does literally anything else with his life, then yeah, he should be ignored. if he gets a job at Tim Horton's, no one needs to go up to his manager and be like, "You need to fire this man, he's an internet con artist!" if he's only making Timbits, not plagiarized video essays.
but if he tries to start a new con – and, to be clear, he has ALREADY tried to establish a new online presence to gain followers WITHIN LIKE TWO MONTHS OF HIS FAKE SUICIDE ATTEMPT – then "oh, just ignore him" doesn't work. because there are going to be people who don't know to ignore him, and won't know he's bad news unless they see someone else blowing the whistle.
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Okay but like he's not working as a video essayist anymore though. He was trying to rebrand on tiktok and the "free advertising" the "Online Leftist Discourse Industrial Complex" gave him made him stop doing that. It's because people keep pointing out that he lied and scammed people that he's not currently lying and scamming people on youtube and tiktok.
On the hbomberguy subreddit there's a weekly thread talking about good youtubers that aren't as famous. It's a weekly thread that's trying to give attention to people with less clout in their community who do deserve that attention. They've been doing that for months. By contrast, they spent five months NOT talking about James Somerton until they found out that 1) he was trying to go back to tiktok, 2) also he was never sorry about plagiarism, and 3) he was absolutely manipulating people with that suicide note.
I know that some people out there consider all criticism a personal and hateful attack, but do you maybe think there's a reason why The Left™ chose to show that this specific guy had two alt accounts? Do you think they chose to show the tweets in which he goes "plagiarism and lies are no big deal, stop being angry about it," "if plagiarism and lies are a big deal then his cowriter did it," and "you people made him kill himself" for some reason? Do you think it may have something to do with him trying to rebrand on tiktok after he wrote a suicide note that made a bunch of people call the people who accused him of plagiarism and lying of being murderers?
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zen-garden-gnome · 1 year ago
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Existential discomfort and ADHD
Picture a face. Could be a made-up face, could be the face of someone you know, could be an amalgamation of the two.
When I try to picture a face (or anything else, for that matter), everything about it never stops moving. The head is a layering of all different kinds of head shapes and sometimes random other shapes, always subtly morphing and adjusting and occasionally flashing out into irrelevant silhouettes before coming back to a general human head.
Focusing on any one feature or area is like zooming into a melting painting. Everything in my mind’s eye is always in a state of becoming, both in terms of movement and composition. Whatever I’m trying to visualize, most of everything within or around it is only partially there, fading and warping in and out of a hazy existence. A mouth is simultaneously multiple kinds of mouths in multiple expressions without necessarily feeling impossible or contradictory, any of which might bring about distracting phrases or moods or scenes in my head. The mouth will also occasionally be some unrecognizable shape, as if in response to a suddenly relocated vector point, and will sometimes simply cease to be a mouth at all, or disappear entirely.
In my mind, anything is hard to look at for too long. The longer or harder I try to look, the more elusive it is. Like the scientific eye peering closer and closer at atomic particles, everything is always breaking the rules and splitting into smaller and smaller stuff. More and more relational context, less and less hard truths. This experience can be quite frustrating, even depressing. It’s hard to visualize, oh, anything. It’s hard to make plans for expression, meals, outfits, to synthesize information, prioritize tasks, and to project my intentions into the future. Sometimes I feel like I have a learning or processing disorder, and by definition perhaps I do. It’s hard to get diagnosed with stuff as an adult, especially without health insurance in the US. But diagnosis can also be another shackle. I don’t think my mental experience is “wrong,” and in fact it’s probably quite common. Just as I may be swimming in the vast body of God (for lack of a better term), eternally morphing and becoming and being composed by/of all happenings simultaneously, my mind is also part of this.
It also feels existential because my efforts to hold something cause it to decompose through my brain-fingers. It sometimes feels like life is flowing by me and I can’t point my life force well enough to engage with it. Visualization is part of creativity, motivation, and preparation. It’s how we align ourselves with a future. Simply writing this post has essentially taken me months.
But maybe there’s a middle ground. Maybe we don’t all engage with life exactly the same way, and maybe engaging with it where we’re at makes it easier to broaden our styles of engagement over time. While using modern concepts (or language at all) to identify my experience has helped me in many ways, it may also be holding me to preconceived ideas of normal, right, useful, healthy, et cetera, and thus tricking me into a self-limiting understanding of self.
Easing into that understanding has required staying with this discomfort -- the discomfort of struggling to focus and to express, the discomfort of looking into this experience long enough to see what all it touches, without getting too distracted by what it feels like and what all that may bring up in my mind and heart. It’s possible to stay with it and learn from it and process it, though it may take many tries and many years.
And God knows, I’m still uncomfortable. Processing discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean “fixing.” “Fixing” assumes a problem. Processing just requires giving the energy somewhere to go, spreading out across a wider nervous system until the backlog of energy has eased and the flood has receded, and we can see the patterns left on the shorelines. The effects are writ there and we’re living them. There’s plenty of work there, alone.
May we stand in our discomforts long enough to process whatever’s waiting inside them.
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digitaldrive-2 · 2 years ago
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All you need to know about Digital Marketing
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delfiore · 2 years ago
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posso ancora aspettare
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pairing: robin buckley x gn!reader
synopsis: in which there’s no happily ever after, because she loves someone else.
word count: 2.1k
a/n: ok this is awkward um not me showing up like weeks later after my last fic haha 🧍🏻‍♀️also tumblr was being a little bitch and shadowbanned tf out of me so if you saw me posting then deleting this multiple times no you didn’t 🫣
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“Oh.”
The word came out of your mouth like a squeak, a meek sound disguised as a happy surprise at the news Robin had just delivered. Though it wasn’t a surprise, to you nor to Steve—the only other person who knew Robin. You just thought you had more time.
“I can’t believe it. She said yes! Vickie agreed to go on a date with me.”
You were too shellshocked to even notice whatever facial expression Steve was making that prompted Robin’s excitement to cease.
“What?”
“I don’t know, Robin. She just came out of a relationship.
“So what?” Her tone grew annoyed.
“I’m just saying,” Steve leaned against the counter, his mouth hung open in search of the right words to say, “you gotta be careful, you know? She just broke up with her boyfriend, and this could be . . . a distraction.”
You looked up at Steve nervously, scrunching your eyebrows hoping he’d change his mind and apologize. He only looked back with a nonchalant shrug.
“Screw you, Harrington.” Robin mumbled, and walked away, towards the back of the store.
“Why would you say that?” You sighed.
“Am I wrong though?”
“No, but you didn’t have to rain on her parade like that.”
It was an asshole move, but you knew he was only trying to protect you. Only weeks ago had Steve tried all his might to tease Robin about Vickie, giving her lists upon lists as to why Vickie definitely likes girls too. You never meant to tell your truth, but you could never lie to Steve; he’d become like a big brother. And so on a random Tuesday night, in tears and with your head in your hands, you did.
“Please don’t do that again.” You pleaded, and hated the pitiful look he gave you following a short sigh.
Robin was reorganizing the closet with angry huffs when you peeked through the door quietly.
“Steve didn’t mean that, Robbie.”
“I don’t know what he means.” She slammed the stack in her hand down with a thud. “He’s being an ass because Heidi dumped him again, and he’s jealous. I mean, a week ago, he was bugging me to ask Vickie out, and I only did because he was bothering me so much. And now he wants to be all wary of her. Pisses me off.”
You didn’t know what to say. Frankly, you didn’t want her to go on that date either, but you couldn’t stand in the way of your best friend’s happiness, not when she’s been working up the courage to seize it for so long. Even if it destroyed yours.
“Hey, forget it, alright? Steve says stupid shit sometimes.” You tapped her shoulder with a small smile. “When’s your date? Come over before, and I’ll help you prepare.”
A smile quickly spread across her lips, as she pulled you into a tight hug. You chuckled, and ruffled her hair.
“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Robin said, “you’re my best friend, and my number one, you know? I love you.”
“Of course I know.” You rolled your eyes, grinning.
“C’mon, say it back.” She whined, pulling your hand.
“No, it’s cheesy.”
“Say it baaaack.”
“Luh you tuh.” You mumbled, causing the girl to laugh, and bring her leg up to kick your behind teasingly.
You couldn’t bring yourself to repeat it properly, because to you it’s not the same, and it would be wrong to say it.
Falling for Robin was easy. As easy as it was to draw breath, to dip your fingers and watch them the disturb the still of the water at Lover’s Lake, to open your eyes and let the world paint a colorful palette in front of you.
You didn’t know whether crushes were easy to overcome (from observing Steve through his quest to find a girl you thought it was), but this wasn’t a sporadic infatuation. This was another feeling, another sensation entirely. It was all you’ve ever known since freshman year, when you saw her for the first time doodling in Gerhardt’s second period. Robin was you’ve ever known.
Robin, Robin, Robin.
But now, she liked someone else, again. Not you.
Never you.
You barely had time to think about that these days. Yet again, something from the Upside Down was terrorizing your home, and yet again, it was up to you and your friends to defend it.
Spending time with Robin during it all reminded you that you were still one of the most important people to her, and that you’d be content just being her friend—being in her presence was enough. But you were reminded of how much it hurt seeing her pine over someone else, and most of all, how much it hurt seeing her heartbroken. Stupid Vickie didn’t know what she was missing out on.
“Guess it wasn’t a date after all.” Robin mumbled before pushing past you and Steve, escaping the sight of her crush at the other end of the store aisle kissing, who seemed to have been the boyfriend.
There was a vile part inside of you that was glad Robin saw them together.
You had just finished a batch of spears, clumsily duct-taped together from pipe cut-out sections and kitchen knives. You couldn’t believe this was your life now; making weapons to fight inter-dimensional demon lords. Spring break in Hawkins, just wack.
You looked over to see Robin sitting by Steve making molotovs. He caught your gaze, quietly gesturing towards the girl before standing up to leave.
“Hey.” You took his seat.
“Hey.” There was a smile on her lips, but it was small and strained.
“You alright?”
"I don't know," Robin said, looking down at the incendiary device. "Nancy's got a plan, so I guess we'll be as best prepared as we can be. All that matters is that we keep everyone safe."
"Robs," you shook your head, "I asked how you are doing." You took her hand tentatively, and she didn't pull away. They were warm and slender, and they fitted perfectly intertwined with your own. You felt her eyes on you, as you continued stroking the back of her hand with your other hand.
"I just have this terrible, terrible feeling that this isn't going to work out for us this time."
Your best friend lowered her head, lips pressed tightly, and you hated seeing how much all this broke her spirit. Robin Buckley, the most positive and ready-to-problem-solve, was hunched over defeated at the thought of going up against the telepathic demon lord.
“Hey. Hey, look at me.” You let your hand pull back her hair from her face, your chest tightening seeing her glossy eyes. “We’re gonna be okay. We can’t die yet. We still gotta go to Europe, remember? Watch the sun go down in Champs de Mars, eat ice cream as we walk along the port in Monaco, right?”
This elicited a short laugh from the girl. She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “We don’t even have money for that yet.”
“Then we gotta go make some.” You smiled, encouragingly. “After we fight Vecna . . . slash Henry, slash One, whatever.”
“Okay, dingus.” She said, putting a hand up to your face, and pinching your cheek lightly. “You win.”
Her eyes, blue like the sky, found a home in yours. You wondered how a pair of eyes could feel so much like home, and how easy it was to fall in love with them. You didn’t need to ask anyone—certainly not Vickie—you knew what that was like yourself. You loved Robin so much, and you didn’t know what you were going to do if she left your side.
You settled for a kiss on her cheek, and a firm hug, choking back a confession when an overwhelming sense of love enveloped you, as you did her.
You were to go to Eddie and Dustin to distract the Demobats so that everyone else can go on with their plan. With much persistence from Robin, saying that it was where you’d be most safe, you watched with a worried frown as Robin slung her backpack over her shoulder.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from her; she looked so good, so brave, even though you knew her hands were shaking.
“Be careful, okay?” You said, trying not to let your weakness show.
“You first.” Robin smiled, and you brought her into your arms to hold her tight before you said anything you'd regret.
Robin sighed and squeezed you back with the same affection, as you placed a firm kiss on her cheek. She prayed for your safety, so that she could clutch onto you afterward, tell you all about how the date with Vickie made her realize that they were too similar for her to like her bandmate in any sort of romantic way, that she had been burying her feelings for you out of respect for your friendship, and that she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn't say anything now.
The thought of you consumed her, so that even while her body moved through the woods behind Steve and Nancy, her mind was with you, watching you with Eddie and Dustin, wanting to fend off whatever posed a threat to you. She imagined your pursed lips, anxious, wandering eyes waiting for the strike to come, then she'd imagine you wounded, and get the coldest sense of dread running down her spine.
"Hey," Steve stood back when he saw her steps slow down, "Robin, you alright?"
"I think I'm in love with Y/N." She said, and there was no hesitation in her voice.
Steve only sighed, wishing his best friend would have realized sooner. It would have spared both you and her a lot of time.
“Let’s finish this, and then you can go ask them out, alright?”
With a heavy heart and desperate longing, Robin kept marching until she reached the vine-infested mansion in which Vecna resided.
They went along with their plan, yet by the end of it, Vecna’s body was nowhere to be found after he fell out of the window, shattering the glass in the most dramatic of fashions. The vines that broke off from his body were still moving like forgotten maggots on the floor. The fight was not over, but they have won for now.
Robin was the first to run back to the trailer park in the Upside Down, hoping to catch you. She was fantasizing about how she was going to tell you everything that she’s been feeling, that she didn’t even notice at first that you were nowhere to be found. Dustin was sat on the dirt with his little head in his hands, sobbing.
“I’m sorry.” Eddie approached her cautiously, and she saw the worst.
════ ⋆★⋆ ════
Steve has had to make several food runs the past two days, so much so that his wallet had been depleted (not that it ever was full in the first place), and the boy begrudgingly drove back home to the other end of town to get some more cash. Lucas was a bit more willing to eat. Seeing him munch on a sandwich halfheartedly as his eyes glued on Max’s lifeless body roused the dormant fatherly sentiments in Steve that only ever get to strong for these reckless yet brave teenagers he’s been babysitting.
He dreaded going into the room next to Max’s, because he hated seeing both of his best friends in such distress, one of them stuck in a limbo of life and death and the other mulling over it as if she had already lost them.
“Hey,” he said, “got you some jelly donuts.”
At the silence from the girl, and the incessant beeping of the machine—the only indication that you were still alive—Steve set the food down on the nightstand next to Robin.
“Hey, you gotta eat something, alright?” Uncharacteristically calm and quiet, he murmured and placed a hand on her shoulder. “After that, go home and get a quick change of clothes. I’ll be here.”
“No.” She shook her head quietly, her hands never leaving yours; it was cold and limp.
“Robin—“
“I have to wait,” She said. “I have to be here when Y/N wakes up to tell them that I love them.”
Your face was eerily serene, like stuck in a deep sleep that you couldn’t wake up from. The doctors were puzzled by what kind of animal bites that plagued your sides which caused you to go into septic shock and, subsequently, your current comatose state. You might wake up tomorrow, next week, or—they feared at worst—never at all.
“I’ve waited for so long,” Robin brought your hand up to kiss it, “I can still wait.”
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tiredspacedragon · 2 years ago
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They're 10 000
That's kind of my point. It's implied at a few points, especially in books and material to do with the Old and High Republic, that they used to be a lot more, or at the very least, they were more spread out. Think about all the abandoned temples throughout the outer rim and other obscure locations we see across the series. They weren't always ruins, they used to be maintained and have Jedi posted there. The order used to have active outposts all across the galaxy, a much more universal presence. But by the time of the prequels, they don't. The only active temple is the main one on Coruscant. Jedi are either there or on mission.
they have a mission to stay where the kids are to take care of them
The kids are only on Coruscant because the Jedi bring them there, though. And again, they really don't have to be. They could have had multiple temples or outposts where younglings were trained, they just didn't. Maybe that made training them easier, I really don't know. But even if it was better to have all the kids in one place, they wouldn't require the entire might of the order to protect them at all times.
Most Jedi being cut off from the galaxy at large and losing sight of their role in the universe
When did you see that?
This point was a major thesis of the Clone Wars. How many times did we see a group of Jedi swoop in to help a group of civilians under threat from the war, only to be criticized for not being in touch with the people? For only appearing in times of war when they were supposed to be peacekeepers? For operating on the highest levels of society so much that they lost sight of the common people, when they were supposed to be the people's champions? The Season 7 arc with Trace and Rafa focused on this especially. Now is that the fault of individual Jedi? No, they were doing the best they could with what they knew how to do. But it is a sign of a systemic issue with the Order itself. They took their rule of no attachment too seriously, and wound up detached from the galaxy they were supposed to protect, only viewing it in abstract, in theory, rarely as a concrete place inhabited by real people. That's what made Jedi like Quinlan Vos, who spent most of his time away from the temple and among the people, be considered so strange, and yet he was one of the most successful knights they had.
When did you see that Jedi misunderstood the will of the Force? And good job with the victim-blaming, it's totally the fault of the Order if they were genocided
Perhaps it's less that they misunderstood it, and more that they saw it through a very particular lens, and were very certain in their beliefs, so much so that they became inflexible and haughty. Yoda himself calls out the arrogance of the current generation of Jedi in Attack of the Clones. They've come to think that they know best, and it's made them resistant to new or different ideas, see again how Vos is viewed as odd and is somewhat disliked by other Jedi like Obi-Wan, and of course Anakin's unorthodox attitude causing so many ripples. And I never said it was the Jedi's fault they got genocided. I did say that the state the order was in when the guy who's fault it actually was came to power made them an easier target than they would have been had they been in a stronger position from the start. Palpatine undermined them and weakened them at every opportunity, but the Jedi had their own problems beforehand. Palpatine took advantage of those weaknesses and exacerbated them, but he couldn't have done that if those cracks weren't there already. He'd have still found something to attack of course, it's Sheev Palpatine, but it's not victim blaming to point out which flaws of the Order he exploited, nor would claiming the Jedi Order was without flaw be a better take.
What is wrong with Mace? He's a good man. His only flaws are that he is stern and not a people person, that's all.
Yeah, that's what I said. Man would not be pleasant to be around. That doesn't make him a bad person, he's just not a very nice one. And he's a bit too stern. Like I said before, inflexible and haughty. Too sure of himself and his own authority. Not good traits for a Jedi. Mace got a lot right, but he represented a lot of what the prequel era Jedi got wrong, too. He's a good representation of the Order as a whole at that point. Still powerful, capable, and compassionate in his own way, but distant and closed-minded.
He never said to Anakin that worrying about his mother is wrong.
He, and Yoda for that matter, intended to turn Anakin away because he loved his mother too much, and according to them, that was a path to the dark side. That's pretty clear-cut. Did they mean that dwelling on the past too much could lead to bitterness and regret? Or that missing his mother was okay and normal, but never moving on would only bring pain in the long run? Maybe. But that's not what they said. They leapt right to telling a nine-year-old that because he hadn't let go of his mother in the span of a day or so, he was susceptible to evil. It's not like there weren't other things to criticize about Anakin, they chose that specifically.
Jedi are encouraged to put everything in question
Tell that to the Jedi high council that put Yoda under lock and key and theorized he was being controlled by the Sith when he came to them about his visions of Qui-Gon and Force Ghosting and never considered for a moment actually taking him seriously and considering a new possibility. Speaking of which, Force Ghosting being a lost art is another indication the Jedi were not at their peak. It, along with all the other niche Force abilities and lore we see uncovered throughout the series, indicates that the Jedi Order, or at least something like them, used to have far deeper knowledge of and connection to the Force, but somewhere along the way that knowledge was lost. I don't think it's any coincidence that it's Jedi who survived or came after Order 66 and adapted to their new circumstances and were generally looser who ended up finding these secrets.
And what is the real Jedi philosophy anyway? How George Lucas described the Force and the good way to be a Jedi is exactly the same that the Jedi Order philosophy
At this point, I have no idea. Because what Lucas says ideal Jedi philosophy is and how the story itself portrays it seem to vary a lot. Lucas will stress the non-attachment rule, and then we get Jedi like Kanan and Ezra who very clearly fostered attachments and drew strength from them, but knew to let go when the time came. That seems like a much more mature take to me, but then a few years later we come right back around to Luke and Ahsoka hammering away that attachment = danger in The Mandalorian, as if they weren't two of the most attached Jedi in history and found a way to achieve balance through that. It's all been a bit of a contradictory mess. So I choose to focus on what we see the Jedi do in their moments of greatest success, which usually involves engaging with the peoples of the galaxy and assisting them directly. Being part of the universe, not just its overseers.
Darth Maul on Obi-Wan Kenobi +
Perception of the Jedi by their Enemies
Darth Maul has a very consistent strategy when trying to bring down Obi-Wan. Which is attack somewhere, put innocent people in danger. Kenobi being the annoying knight he is will come running to save them. Than kill him when he is busy being a good person.
1-Raydonia 2-Satine 3-Mandalore 4-Luke
(He didn't personally go in the third one but he sent Ahsoka. And he put himself in great risk by authorizing the Siege. This action was illegal.)
The best part is Maul is completely aware what he is doing. He acknowledges this many times.
Your noble flaw is a weakness shared by you and your duchess.
I was expecting Kenobi. Why are you here?
I am lost... And yet, I-I can feel his presence, so close. So close! I can... see him... in my mind's eye. Kenobi. KENOBIIIII!... Will it end here, like this? No. NO! I must draw kenobi out, tempt his noble heart. But how, how?... I know... I know.
His plans literally revolves around Obi-Wan having a noble heart. Which is one of the reasons Maul sees it as a flaw. Because it leaves someone vulnerable to wicked people like Maul.
This isn't even a specific Maul & Obi-Wan thing. We can find many examples of people trying to use Jedi's virtue against them. The Jedi seem to have a reputation in the galaxy as highly virtuous people.
Examples:
Admiral Trench specifically bombarding Senator Organa's refugee camps because he believes this will force Republic Army to engage him. (Tell me again how Republic was as bad as the CIS)
Zygerrian slavers method of enslaving and attempting to control Jedi was hurting innocents every time they showed defiance.
Admiral Trench makes this gamble again in the last season but with the worst person he could choose.
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This is a good reference to other scenes and quotes. Reusing the word "nobility" was definitely trying to make a contrast between Trench & Anakin with Maul & Obi-Wan.
It really shows how much Anakin has diverted from what a Jedi should be. He even calls nobility a flaw like Maul does.
☀️☀️☀️
Inspiration for this post came when after seeing some bewildering takes on Obi-Wan, my first thought was:
"Man, even Maul would find these claims ridiculous. No one in star wars has any delusions of Kenobi being evil or corrupt to the degree they imagine."
Things spiraled from there. I ended up finding many evidences of this in canon. Like this quote ⬇️
Why come to this place, not simply to hide?... Oh, you have a purpose here.
I love this one. Maul knows Kenobi is not one to abandon his duty or ideals. Which means if he is on Tatooine he must have some some kind of mission here.
☀️☀️☀️
All of this resulted in creating a hilarious picture because,
I can't believe Admiral Trench and Zygerrians have a more positive perception of the Jedi than many fans of Star Wars.
And people are really out there making Darth freaking MAUL look like a fan. You know it has gone too far when even Maul (the og hater) can't agree with such horrible takes.
I must draw Kenobi out, tempt his noble heart.
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no-droids · 4 years ago
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Home
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gif credit: @javier-pena
Part Eighteen of the Rough Day Series
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 19.5K
Warnings: SMUT, religion kink (maybe?), squirting, consensual stalking/pursuing, canon-typical violence, mention of underage drinking, uhh I believe that’s it but as always, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything please!
A/N: Hey yall!!!  So I know this chapter has been a long time coming and though I’m not completely satisfied with it, I hope it brings a little happiness to you for an hour or two while you read!  School has been kicking my ass and I’ve been in a bit of an emotional slump recently, but I pulled a few all-nighters to post this on time and it’s finally finished!  Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and sent me encouraging words over the past month or so, I hope you enjoy the end of the Sanctuary arc💕
Also like last time, part 2 of my collaboration with @followwhereshegoes will be posted after the chapter!!  As a reminder, sweet girl is a reader insert and every imagining of her will be different—this is Lisa’s interpretation of her and her artwork is absolutely gorgeous, so please go give her a follow!
Day 5–11:13am:
You zone out again in the early morning, but that happens a lot.  Din always keeps you up so late, all the time, and without any caf here, the rising sun just makes your eyes droop instead of flutter brighter and wider.  You helped a bunch of younglings find their way into their robes when it was still dark out, tying sashes and fitting masks while holding back your yawns.  The walk into Nariss is close to three hours, probably more with all these tiny little legs, and you almost forget to change into your new digs before everyone grabs breakfast.
Even though your ragtag entourage leaves for Nariss just as soon as everyone finishes eating, you don’t reach the city until nearly lunchtime.  Mostly because the kids walk about as fast as the elderly holy women chaperoning the trip.  You and Naydee lag behind the group, forcing yourself to meander slow as fuck when you nearly sprinted this same exact path just a few days ago.  On the way there, you listen to children of all sorts sing happily as they walk, chatter about their excitement for the parade, complain about wearing the fabric mask they made themselves, and more than once, somebody takes a tumble onto the ground and is left in teary sniffles and dirt stained clothes.  Likely for this reason, the robes are designed to be two pieces—a long tunic with a hood and a separate pants portion to prevent tripping instead of a draping skirt, but the smallest ones are clumsy and find a way to fall anyways.
It’s a colorful bunch—a chaotic rainbow of babies running around, and you share easy conversation with your new friend about the plans for the day until she asks something that makes you nearly trip and join the dirty robe club.
“Sister Drya said your family is meeting you in the city,” she tells you, ignoring your immediate subtle toe stub and the awkward shuffle you have to do to make up for it.  “There’s going to be lots of people downtown, I’m worried it might be hard for them to find you.”
Your heart thuds in your chest and you feel a bit short of breath at being abruptly confronted with the need to lie, but at the same time, you kind of love it.  Having a secret, hiding the truth from others, and just the reminder that you’re almost guaranteed to see Din and the baby before midnight pours warmth and tingles through your tummy.  Everything together is a hit of spice, filling you with a kind of excitement that used to be foreign to you.  Having fun, experiencing new things isn’t quite over yet, but home is calling and you miss it with every fiber of your being.
“I don’t think so,” you eventually respond, hoping she can see your kind smile and the sentiment it carries even as light, shimmery fabric wraps right around your mouth.  “If I disappear, you’ll know why.”
Naydee’s eyes crinkle in the corners to match yours.  “Hopefully you’ll be able to see the fireworks first,” she nudges you, her skin glowing against the pale cream fabric she has wrapped around her own mouth and the hood laying delicately over her braids.  “They start at eight.”
The fireworks, you almost forgot.  You know what?  Today is a good day.  You hear yourself think the full sentence multiple times, and the words put a spring in your step after every single one.  The road gradually becomes wider and filled with more travelers, and you feel safe in the back.  Like some kind of sheepdog bringing up the rear of this migrating cluster of children, making sure none of them drift off by themselves and start eating grass or something.
Surprisingly, the kids manage to be relatively patient and well-behaved once they’re in line at the gates.  The Sisters shuffle them along one by one as everyone moves up slowly, taking even longer to get into the city than it did a few days ago.  The entrance is packed already—so many people visiting for the festival, and they’re all dressed in costumes or robes of sorts, or at least a mask.  Most are beautifully crafted, but some manage to look slightly scary even with the soft springtime color schemes.  It’s a completely different world, a different life for each person as you pass them by.  Your stomach is starting to growl by the time you finally make it to the front, and luckily the guards just let the kids through without any ceremony.  Just you and the rest of the caretakers in light robes need to hold still for the retinal scan, matching each other perfectly except for differing shades of fabric, skin, and eye color.  Once the gates open for you and you step through, though… it’s… Maker.
Extravagant, magnificent are both words.  Floral is another.
It’s like they hung up bouquets wherever they could think to fit them, and this is just the edge of the city.  As the group moves through the streets and closer to downtown, it becomes more and more overwhelming.  The air itself is a warm fragrance wafting all around you, sunshiney and breezy and perfect, flowers of all kinds lining the modern buildings and archways like they were planted there from the very beginning and it just took this long to bloom between the cracks in the concrete.  You wish you had names for all of them so you could list them—the only thing you can offer is the color and vague descriptions of the ones that stick out to you.  Tiny yellow ones that are so small, they need to be bunched all together in massive quantities to even resemble normal flowers.  Up overhead, elaborate arrangements of enormous blue and purple and pink ones, wrapping around each other and hanging down from rooftops.  Some don’t even have petals, it’s like they’re big green cups that are big enough to hold things inside them.  You’re fascinated by every single one, wanting to stop and smell them all individually but needing to keep up with the large group and not allow any stragglers to be left behind, including yourself.
About an hour later, when you’re almost in the middle of the city and there are people everywhere, it’s time to eat lunch.  There isn’t much to it because of how expensive it is, and you’d normally feel bad for accepting the small meal each one of the children gets, but you donated all of your credits to the Keja and left absolutely zero for yourself.  Good intentions, terrible idea.  Still, you pull your mask down and snack on some deliciously fried food, trying not to eye anyone else’s platter after you finish yours.  It’s so good and it’s gone in an instant; you couldn’t even say what exactly it was besides which stall you got it at.  Whether it’s just the brilliant atmosphere or if the food on this moon is really just that good, you’re not really sure, but you’re still slightly hungry afterwards with no extra money to sneak a snack.
Soon after, the kids all line up to get their faces painted, or whatever portion of their face is visible behind the cloth masks and hoods they’ve got on, and music blares from at least four different directions and none of the songs are even in the same language.  Depending on the part of town, it seems like the celebrations are all different.  It makes sense, considering most if not all of these individuals were victims of the Empire’s wrath, spread far and wide across the galaxy.  Here, they’re free, and they want everyone to know it.  Spring festivals of some sort are likely common for most cultures, at least those from planets with seasons, not like Arvala-7 where it was arid and hot year-round, and you’re assuming there are multiple things being celebrated today depending on which street you live on.  There’s chanting in different tongues, dancing and drums, outfits and masks from different cultures every single time you look.
At some point, the children spot a crowded street with flowery rails set up all along them, and you stand behind the tiny heads while everyone waits for the parade to begin.  You think your heart has just been beating slightly faster than normal all day today, but when you finally hear the sound of sirens blaring in the distance and cheers begin to pour out from the gathered crowd, it kicks up and you feel like you’re just as wide eyed at the spectacle as the waist-high babies all huddled together up against the railing.
A flurry of people and things pass in slow succession.  First, New Republic officers with their blaring holobikes, bright orange as always.  Then come large groups of people walking behind banners in languages you can’t read, some of them waving, some of them making different sounds and songs.  Bands marching in formation, dancers in dresses and masks and gorgeous flowers in their hair like crowns, and then brilliant hovering vehicles decorated in bright colors and festive depictions.  The craftsmanship and cultural significance is stunning to witness, it’s so insanely loud, there’s so much going on, and yet…
Through it all, you think of Din.  No matter the faces, the sights you see.  There’s someone juggling.  There’s either a very tall man and woman walking together or they’re both on stilts.  There are enormous balloons being led through the air, people are riding atop an assortment of animals you’ve never seen before, there are traditional costumes and spectacular stunts being performed.  Stalls with games and prizes line the stretches of concrete on the cross streets, people are laughing and celebrating and drinking in equal parts, everything is so lively and festive and fun, and yet, though it all, you think of Din.  Him and the baby, they’re always in the forefront of your mind, occupying your thoughts and making your tummy stir more and more as the time passes like the parade in front of you.  You don’t think this environment would ever be his favorite, and in some far away galaxy, perhaps if you lived other lives together and called a beautiful moon exactly like this home, then you might have to drag him out to see all the with you and the kid every year.  You’d have to bat your eyelashes and kiss his cheek and snuggle up to him all nice and pretty like, and he’d probably grumble and complain about it while wrapping his arms around you—all the people and the noise, sweet girl—but he’d go.  For you, he’d go.
Your thoughts suddenly stop short and you blink for a second.  Why… Why was that scene so vivid?  So wistful?  You used to preoccupy yourself with fantasies about Din all the time, back before you even knew him as Din.  But in every single one, it was sexual and likely came from a place of boredom, a lack of external stimulation.  Here you are amidst bustling surroundings, and you’re daydreaming about domesticity with him.  Why?  You want to travel the galaxy, right?  You want to see things you’ve never seen before, right?
For some reason, you think of the floor, and you miss it.
***
Day 5—5:04pm:
It’s late afternoon at this point and nobody can find the teens.
More people have made their way into the city and it’s starting to get extremely fucking crowded, especially where you are downtown, and the handful of them must’ve slipped away with all the excitement happening and how difficult it is to keep the young ones together now that the parade is over.  You don’t know how long they’ve been gone—one second they were walking around just slightly detached from the rest of you, you assumed because the boisterous younglings fucked with their cool vibe, and then the next Naydee is gasping out to you that they’re gone.
“Sister Drya is going to kill me,” she hisses, her dark eyebrows furrowed in self-admonishment and stress.  So many fucking people here, you know her pain.  “I was supposed to be chaperoning them, they were just here—”
She shakes her head under the loose, cream-colored hood, groaning and then speeding up her gait to catch up with the woman in charge, but you decide to grab her wrist before she can relay the bad news.  
“I can go find them,” you offer, speaking as low as you can with the blaring noise surrounding you.  “Before anyone knows they’re missing.  Is there a way to convince everybody to stay in one spot for a little while?  You won’t get in trouble, but I need to know how to find you again.”
Naydee’s eyes widen in surprise, and even though it’s likely a bit out of character for you, you have a feeling it’ll be a deceptively easy task.  Even with the masses right now and how atrociously big this city is, you already have a general idea of where they’re likely to be.  Besides, you’re not even sure your absence will be noticed if Naydee is the only one who figured out the teens were gone—the other Sisters can thrive without you while missing anyone else would be noticeable, and you owe your new friend a thousand favors for helping you out these past few days.  The least you can do is save her from the scolding of one of the scariest old ladies you've ever met.
“Be as quick as you can,” she finally agrees.  It’s a lot of trust to put into you, but you’ve had experience in reading the most unreadable man in the entire galaxy, some teenagers shouldn’t pose too much of a problem.  “If you’re not back in thirty minutes or somebody notices, I’ll have to say something.”
You nod, silently breaking away from the group without another word.  You think you can hear her announce to everyone that it might be best to eat dinner now to skip any long lines later—smart—but you’re out of their hearing range and line of sight almost immediately.
***
Day 5–5:17pm:
“Really?”  You raise an eyebrow since they won’t be able to see the way your mouth is twisted up underneath your mask, crossing your arms and tapping your foot against the ground to further illustrate just how not fucking impressed you are.
Seven teenagers freeze, and slowly—depending on how much bravery they can individually muster—they turn around on their stools to face you.  The atmosphere in the tavern is bustling and cheery, booze being passed around a large crowd that laughs and mingles, but your vibe is stone cold and quiet.  The contrast doesn’t feel wrong on you like it normally would; the negative and disapproving energy you’re emitting makes you feel powerful, untouchable, armored and strong.
“How did you find us so fast?”  One of the twin boys squeaks out behind a light blue robe, sounding worried.
“Had a hunch,” you grumble, glaring sternly at each of them in turn.  Your tone is dry, your voice sits lower in your throat when you’re pissed off.  All you had to do was look for the closest bar that doesn’t have any orange jumpsuits poking around waiting to card underage younglings, it wasn’t that difficult.  “You’re not exactly unpredictable.”
“Are you gonna rat us out?”  The other twin asks you, in a voice that’s oddly deep compared to his brother.
“I should,” you snap, quickly reaching out to push their drinks away.  “I should let Sister Drya rain down her holy fury on your asses, got good people all twisted up over you for nothing and I’m missing dinn—”
You don’t know why, but you suddenly cut yourself off and jerk upright, spinning around.
The sounds of glasses clinking and boisterous voices fill the bar, but they seem to fade out for a second.  Your eyes fly around the crowded space, your heart lodged in your throat and looking for anything reflective.  Every flash you see is a false alarm—belt buckle, wristwatch, cocktail shaker—
He’s here… isn’t he?
Only, there’s nothing.  Nothing is out of place, nothing jumps out at you the way you’re assuming it will.  You’re braced taut and ready to bolt at the first sign of a chase, but it never comes.
It’s so… unexpected, this feeling.  It’s not like you’re being hunted anymore, but instead, you’re the hunter.  You’re feeling the weight of him from this far away and it’s like he’s calling for you to come find him, teasing the wild adrenaline rush you get from just feeling his presence, as if he absolutely knows it happens.  Whispering soft in your ear and then vanishing the second you’re able to turn around, like he’s here but he’s not.  Playing with you from so far away.
This… this is a taunt.  
The whole thing at the inn was leagues below this, that was rudimentary.  Teasing, getting even, having fun with each other, whatever you want to call that, that’s what it was.  This is scarily sophisticated.  Fluid and practiced and the best kind of frightening, stark and dangerous compared to the carefree and upbeat setting surrounding you.  You’re not making it up, it’s not just you being paranoid.  You know him with your eyes closed.  You know he’s here somewhere watching you, just like you know the starlight that streaks across the pitch black horizon of hyperspace.  Not because you can see it, not really, not directly.  But because by it, even in the vastest and darkest and emptiest of voids, you’re suddenly able to see everything else.
“You okay, Nerida?”
The volume gradually comes back up and you blink, suddenly remembering where you are, who else is with you.  The chatter becomes slightly louder than it seemed before.
“Yeah,” you eventually say, slightly airy while continuing to stare emptily at the crowded room.  He’s not here, you don’t think, not anymore at least.  But you’re not stupid, you know what this means.  You’re already caught, there’s nothing you can conceivably do that will delay the reunion for the next—you look down and pull the loose sleeve up to check your communicator—seven fucking hours, there’s no way.  He’ll pull back and follow you, keep up with you from a distance and then snatch you away right when you let your guard down.  You at least need to get the kids back to their guardians before that can happen, though.
“Let’s go,” you quietly tell the group of foundlings, grabbing elbows and hauling them out of their stools.  “Naydee was the only one who knew that you were gone when I left.  Here’s to hoping she managed to keep it that way.”
***
Day 5–5:32pm:
Against all odds, you’re able to rally the wayward teens and successfully lead them through shoulders that are beginning to move closer together as the crowd grows and grows.  You stay towards the back and don’t look behind you once—not only do you not want to give the younglings an unnecessary reason to become paranoid or to question your actions, but you can still feel Din lingering.  Moving like a shadow, probably fitting in perfectly with the masked festival-goers, nothing drawing any attention to him with all the spectacular sights and noise occurring.
Soon you return to the same spot from before, and you and the teenagers seamlessly integrate yourselves back into the rest of the group without anyone noticing a thing is out of place.  When you move to stand beside her, Naydee’s bone-deep sigh of relief is palpable even behind the concealing fabric; she squeezes your hand incredibly tight in a silent gesture of thanks, and then pulls something from the deep pockets of her robe and passes it to you sneakily.  A purple fruit.  She must’ve saved it for you.
Maker, fuck yes.  It’s not much but it’s more dinner than any of the seven troublemakers get, but Naydee quietly assures you they’ll be able to eat something once they return to the Keja around midnight, just not the tasty expensive treats they’re selling at the vendors.  As the sun goes down, you try not to stain your pretty fabric a deep maroon as you chomp and feel your lips start to curl upwards.  It sounds so fucking stupid when you put it like this, but you keep going back to Din and revelling in knowing that he’s so close, like you’re just mentally checking in on him.  You don’t get the sensation by thinking, though—more like you just focus really hard on your heart and feel him there just a second afterwards.
Is that how pure, stupid, shameless love feels when you’re completely entrenched in it?  It’s not like it’s surrounding you, it’s not suffocating you or making you float.  It’s just a thing.  Like… a thing inside your chest, a physical thing you can search for and find, something you can point to on your body and say it’s right here, this is where my love for him lives.  Right at the bottom of your heart, right where it curves and beats strong when other hearts meet flat at sharp angles.  You do it over and over again, reconfirming its existence every single time.  You don’t know what else you’d call it.  Love is the only word.  To love, to know.  To hold in the heart.
Soon, you start to notice that people are slowly moving around your stationary group.  You look up and watch the crowd begin to walk, some of them giving soft smiles to the cute children as they pass by, but all of them following the same unspoken direction.
“Where is everyone going?”  You ask Naydee, standing on your tiptoes to watch the crowd migrate like a giant system, an organism or mechanism of thousands (or tens of thousands?) of smaller moving parts all traveling in tandem.  It’s fascinating—you’ve been to crowded places, you know what it looks like when a lot of people are packed into one area, but you’ve never seen what it looks like when they all move together.  They would normally be bumping into each other, slipping in between, fighting and never really getting anywhere, interacting individually and thinking separately.  Now they’re progressing in one single direction, so many with the same mindset and understanding of what comes next.  A second parade, almost, with New Republic officers directing the flow of pedestrians as they pass.
“The eastern part of the city!”  Naydee yells over the noise and points, and beyond her extended finger, you can barely see the light of a dusky body of water in the distance beyond the buildings.  “The fireworks are going to go off over the bay, but it takes awhile to get there!”
“Is…”  You blink for a second, suddenly caught off guard, trying to think back to the holomap the concierge pulled up at the front desk of the inn.  Surely you would’ve noticed it, but your sudden childlike hope makes you ask anyway.  “Is it part of an ocean?”
Naydee shakes her head.  “A really big lake!”
Your shoulders drop just the slightest bit in disappointment but still, you ache to see it.  You can’t even imagine—the fireworks are likely going to reflect across the water, giving everyone double the view.  And luckily, after all the children and caretakers are individually accounted for, you start to behind the slow-moving crowd towards the docks you know lie beyond.  
Naydee scurries ahead to keep the kids together, ushering them forward and preventing any drunk passer-bys from accidentally stepping on them, and you quietly bring up the very rear of the entourage.  You take the time to observe more than anything, walk in the back and experience instead of trailblaze.  So many people, so many stories to be told, so many differences and diversity around you.  Your face is partially concealed and you don’t move your head too much, just your eyes.  They flick around to take in everything, the crowd thinning little by little as you make it out of the confined space downtown.  You’re able to make out full bodies and outfits again instead of just heads and shoulders, allowing you to breathe just a bit easier under your mask.
And then at one point—and it’s almost a little startling because it happens all at once—the organizers must decide that the sun has officially gone down, because the lights come on.  All of a sudden, paper lanterns and bulbs flicker into existence all around you and the world decides it wants to glow, glint and twinkle from the inside out.  They’re everywhere, draping across rooftops and tangled around street signs and stuffed into the flower bouquets overhead, raining soft colors down on everything.  You’re in complete awe, trying to keep walking but also needing to look at as much as fucking possible in the suddenly luminescent city.  It’s so colorful, so vernal and warm and you feel like you’re… Like when you took a shower on the Crest for the first time and spent a few happy moments just playing with the water and soap for your own enjoyment, it’s as if all the brilliant rainbow of colors the bubbles would make under the fluorescent light decided to surround you at the same time.  You’re inside stained glass, blinking at the flowers and wondering if Din can even smell the air or if it’s filtered, processed and reduced to nothing under the helmet.
And that’s when you see him.
But with the way your chest rapidly constricts and you can count your heart beats as they pound, blaring white noise through your ears and adrenaline through your veins, it’s like he's just allowing it to happen.  You immediately understand that you don’t have fucking anything the second your eyes land on him; this isn’t a heads up that you caught wind of early, it’s not a gift or an advantage you’ve incidentally gained over him that you should be thankful for.  Being able to see him directly like this, being able to make out all these fucking details from this far away…  This just feels like you’re being informed of the endgame right before it comes.  If you were anyone else, if you were a real bounty and this was a real hunt, his armor glinting and reflecting the lanterns overhead would feel like a knife you're about to be on the wrong side of.
You have a decision to make, very quickly.  Either keep in this same direction, head straight towards him and just pretend like you are who you’re dressed as, a random caretaker for a bunch of rowdy foundlings during a spring festival on Nariss, or disappear.  Drop back, move through the crowd and use the distance you have between you right now as your only hope of getting away in time.  Neither one gives you a particular advantage—your chances of being caught have already skyrocketed exponentially just being able to see the reflection in his armor, the hovering shield at his side with big black eyes… staring directly at you.
You almost trip over your pantlegs, gasping.  Baby.  He beams at you and you think he calls out through the passing crowd, his tiny arms extending out, and your chest feels like you’re pulling organs as if they were muscles, cramping up and seizing with emotion.  You want to run to them even though you’re meant to be running from them, call out over the noise and wave even though you’re not supposed to.  You want to hold the kid again, squish his little forehead with kisses, walk around with Din’s hand pressed against your lower back and see the fireworks with him.
Your hands clutch at the draping fabric covering your chest, pulling and twisting it uncertainly.  What do you do, what do you do?
No matter what, you know it’s over.  Keep your head down and try to move past him, or break away from your group and try to escape—both are different paths that lead to the same result.  What’s the point of running when he’s the one chasing you?  The heart-pounding thrill is the only reason you’re even considering it, but his body stands so tall amongst the crowd, not moving while people ebb and flow like a river passing around him.
Except then you can hear his voice repeat the last thing he said to you in person as if he says it directly into the comm in your ear.  When you do see me… try to outrun.
You should run—run, it’s better than just hoping he doesn’t see you when you already know he does.
Unless…
Out of a trillion different possibilities, you soon realize that there is exactly one situation in which this could turn out in your favor.  You can immediately picture the scenario in your mind, but there’s just too many variables to conceivably rely on getting them all right.  This maybe has a… two percent chance of working?  Maybe?  Everything would have to go perfectly, just fucking flawlessly, but what other choice do you have?  Two percent is better than whatever odds you’re dealing with now.
You walk silently behind the group of foundlings as you approach closer and closer, keeping your head purposefully down as they skip and giggle and dance ahead.  He knows you’re here—he has to know, you’re counting on him knowing.  Walk right in front of him, pretend like you don’t see, make sure you keep left.  Keep left, keep left, keep your head down, keep your head down—
A leather glove suddenly catches hold of your wrist hard enough to tug you backwards.
Your gasp is audible over the sound of the crowd and you spin around, jerking your head up to look at him in fear.  Your heart slams as the beskar reflects your mask and hood back at you—you’re terrified and it shows, you can see it in your eyes.
You quickly try to yank your hand away, even as your index finger stretches up towards the communicator around his wrist.
“Miss Nerida?”  A child’s voice cries, and then small hands grab at you from behind as you bury the urge to actually fight him.  Your instincts are demanding you attack when his grip is this strong, but you just whine and struggle, slapping weakly at him with your free hand and feeling more of the younglings begin to pull at you, their high pitched voices calling more and more attention to the scene.
Your gaze flicks to the side, suddenly landing on a pair of New Republic officers helping direct the thousands of moving bodies from the closest street corner.  They’re looking at you, pointing and beginning to speak into their own comm units.  Din’s helmet snaps sideways to follow your gaze, and then he’s immediately dropping your wrist and stepping back, retreating as quickly as he caught you.  Though you don’t want to—though you don’t want to give yourself away even more, you want to pretend fully that he was a complete stranger and the children were right to try to help you get away—your eyes fall to your son in the hovering crib by his side and you feel yourself crumble just a bit.
Just a few more hours, kid.  A few more hours.
Children pull you away while your pursuers both disappear into the crowd, and you quickly turn to soothe the tiny babies instead of chasing after the one you miss so terribly.
“I’m alright,” you tell them, scooting them up and encouraging them to continue walking.  Blend in, blend in, don’t let anybody think anything is wrong.  “Come on, we’re fine, come on, we have to catch up.”
They take your lead as soon as one of the caretakers turns around and sees the small group crowding around you.  You think she asks what happened, but you just tell her a man mistook you for someone else and nothing more comes of it.  She’s able to settle the chaos better than you are, and by the time you’re continuing to travel forwards once more like nothing happened, the communicator suddenly flicks on in your ear.
“What did you do?”  He breathes out, his footsteps moving fast through his voice.  He’s traveling much quicker than you expected—is he still being followed?  The officers are gone from your sight, they might be going after him right now, weaving between bodies and calling out to the perpetually vanishing glint of armor as he navigates his way out of danger.
You look down at the comm on your wrist and your heart nearly soars with victory.  It worked.  It worked.  You just have to outlast a bit longer, don’t draw any extra attention to it—he’s preoccupied and he certainly doesn’t sound happy, but you hope that’ll be enough to make him slip.  Use his frustration to your advantage, let him think the only thing you were successful at was momentarily escaping him.
“The cops weren’t part of the plan,” you admit quietly, keeping your head down as your loose hood billows in the twilight breeze.  “Don’t get caught.”
There’s a few moments of just his breathing, his footsteps, and the noise floor humming through the comm, before he finally responds.  “You look beautiful.”
You stare unseeingly down at the concrete under your feet, still feeling your hand tingle from where he caught you.  The line abruptly mutes on his end and you just keep moving forward, onward, wanting to look back but knowing he’s already long gone.
***
Day 5–5:24pm:
Din is fucking furious.
He had you.  You were right there, right in front of him, and even if he hadn’t been subtly trailing you all day, seeing the red footsteps get covered and flicker out of existence just a few moments after you make them, he would’ve recognized you anywhere.  In black and white, in the fading light, with your face covered, children calling you by a different name and attaching themselves to you like they’ve known you forever—doesn’t matter, he would’ve known you.  Your eyes have always given you away, always so expressive and starry and soft, but able to see right through solid steel whenever you look at him.
But then you slipped from his grasp, and then more guards pushed him further and further away from you.  They must all be in constant communication, because every single jumpsuit he sees immediately spots him and starts following.  It’s fucking exhausting, and he thinks of you the whole time.
He waits in a dark alley with the kid and taps the side of the helmet a few times to bring up the time on his comm, but then relaxes just slightly when he sees the hour.  It’s earlier than he thought it was, he’ll be able to find you again.
Though, something tugs at him while he’s looking at the clock ticking away in front of his eyes, counting down each second that passes.  There was… a moment.  Back in the square, when he was holding onto you again, when you were looking directly into his once more—everything in his helmet— 
No, he shakes his head while the kid looks up at him curiously, it can’t be.  It was just a split second, it was gone so fast.
But he can’t get rid of it.  Though there’s no explanation, he thinks the display screen flickered.  The sky behind you looked different for a single frame, your footsteps weren’t bright red and visible anymore, your eyes weren’t grey and he stopped wondering what shade of fabric you and your friend decided to choose for you to wear.  It was silvery, he’s almost certain.  Like his armor, it only reflected the color of everything around it.
Color.  Everywhere.  Bursting for a blink of an eye, and then gone just as quick, before he could actually figure out what it really meant.
***
Day 5–6:59pm:
This water is quiet here, but it sparkles.
It doesn’t ever really get truly dark thanks to the enormous hanging moon and ringed gas giant dancing with Sanctuary II, constantly reflecting light back onto the surface and reacting with some of the trace chemicals up above the atmosphere, and you think the sky just might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen it.  Must have something to do with the equinox, the glimmering angles of light being played with by celestial bodies in this stunning system, but it’s a dream.  The Maker apparently couldn’t decide which colors he wanted tonight so he just splashed all of them together all at once, let them run and blend like ink in the gentle water below, like the various people who call this moon home.
That view in front of you, coupled with all the flowers and lanterns lining the streets behind you, and you’ve lost track of time the exact same way you hoped Din would.  You think you’ve stood for about an hour or so in this one spot, half-listening to excited chatter from the babies, mostly just gazing across the stretch of water and being able to just barely spot the docks in the distance, but it feels like it’s only been minutes.
You check your watch—the fireworks should be starting any second now.  You don’t know what to expect, just that in your experience, explosions tend to be loud.  You've decided you’re not going to plug your ears, though.  Tummy twisting with nerves and another inexplicable feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, you resolve to experience the unknown exactly the way it’s meant to be.  Fully, without worry or fear.
Then, lacking any warning or ceremony whatsoever, a single flare launches silent and high from one of the small boats skimming the bay, and the crowd seems to hold its collective breath as the dim light disappears into thin air for a split second, before—
It’s… quite possibly the most dazzling thing you think you’ve ever seen.  So shamelessly decorative just for the sake of it, not serving any other practical purpose besides celebration and visual spectacle, and you’ll probably never know another extravagance like it.  You grew up with dust pelting against tired eyes, you never thought they’d get to reflect such gorgeous bursts of color back up at the sky, glassy and childlike amongst a group of equally wide-eyed children.
As expected, a deafening boom follows closely behind the singular display, but just witnessing it is incredible enough to make you forget to brace yourself for the sound and you jump almost violently in response.  There comes a loud cheer from the people standing around you, a few delighted gasps and children who decide now is the best time to start crying, but then more flares begin to launch from the boats and the subsequent show will sear itself into your memory to replay over and over again.
Still, you think the endless sky and dark water below would have to light on fire to stop him from coming to mind.
Din.
You click the comm on, continuing to stare in stunned awe but wanting nothing more than to hear his voice right now, feel his hand rest on your lower back and the kid’s three fingers squeezing one of yours while the stars rain down from above.  You’re only continuing to run from him because it’s expected of you, that’s the reason you’re here, but it’s becoming harder and harder to argue with yourself.  “Do you always see in black and white?”
It takes him just a few seconds to respond, but he always does.  “Only when I’m tracking someone.”
The loud booms can be heard over the earpiece, happening maybe a second after they crack and sparkle above you.  You can’t tell if the latency is due to the electronics or if he’s just that far away from the source of the sound itself, but… you don’t think he is.  He feels close again, like he could just walk up right next to you any second, or maybe that’s just how he always feels now.
“Does that mean you haven’t seen the sky here?”  You ask after a moment.  This whole time, everything has been grey for him?
“I saw it,” Din murmurs, and even though it’s quiet and explosions are thundering loud enough to deafen more sensitive ears, his quiet voice somehow breaks through it all.  “When you left the Crest, I saw it behind you.”
For some reason, you suddenly feel like crying.  Whether it’s the way he phrases it or the sentiment in the words, you’re close to tears without even knowing why, looking up at the sky illuminating spectacularly.  He says it like he wasn’t the one who parked on this moon and told you to go on without him.  “Can you… turn it off for just a second?”
He takes a second, before clarifying for you.  “I turn it off and I lose your footprints.”
So that was the ultimatum.  He doesn’t want to turn it off until you’re back with him again.  Does he not understand?  Does he not know what you know?  Maybe you just happened to feel it first, this overwhelming physical sensation inside you whenever you think about him.  It’s like the exact opposite of a hole in your chest.  And it’s so odd, so counterintuitive.  Being comforted in his absence, feeling him with you when he isn’t.  Falling in love in the dark, knowing him without ever seeing him.
“You never needed them,” you say, reaching up to pull your mask down under your jaw and chin for a moment, wanting to freely breathe the freshwater and flowers while stars explode and fracture across the sky.  It’s a truth you’re acknowledging, something you’ll carry with you, something you fundamentally own at this point.  “You’d find me without the helmet.  And I’d find you.”
The fireworks continue to bleed into the water beneath them, multicolor splashes rippling into existence and disappearing just as quick.  You could’ve never imagined a more colorful, magnificent landscape—besides your waterfall on Naboo, of course.  That was a pure product of nature though, a place hidden away and untouched by people, completely sacred.  Light refracting against mist, natural glass that would shatter under your weight.  This is a celebration of life and family.  Loud in a different way, affecting you in a different way, but just as wonderful and touching.  A cultivated paradise, designed to be beautiful and safe only because they wanted it to be.
“Think so?”  He asks softly.  He sounds so deep and warm, but… a little distant.  You’re able to hear it in his words.  You don’t know why, though.  Doesn’t he believe you?  Perhaps… perhaps this isn’t The Way.  Perhaps this is part of a completely different oath, one where knowing and loving somebody isn’t the same thing as looking at their face, not at all.  Where you can have them exist entirely separate from each other, because this is love.  This is real, enduring, bone-deep love, and you haven’t ever seen his face, so how would he explain that?  How would the Mandalorians reconcile that?  You bear the mark of the mudhorn, you’ve moved through time and space with him, you’re a mother to his son, and you’ve never seen his face.  It defies both the Mandalorian oath and traditional understandings of love, or it meets them right in the middle, depending on how you look at it.
“I know so.”  For the first time, you think you might sound more confident and certain than he does.  Maybe he doesn’t fully get it yet, but then you suppose he’ll just have to trust you.  “Will you look at the sky?”
“I see it,” Din tells you, but you know he doesn’t.  Not the way you want him to.  And stars, you just want so many things for him, don’t you?  The sky, fresh air, water, light, food, rest.  You want him to see the galaxy the way you do—have a new appreciation for the gifts that are given just because you’re alive to experience them.  All the physics and mathematics aligned perfectly for it to happen—all the chemistry, the systems, the dynamics that dictate the universe, they all got together and crafted a world where you, him, and the kid all exist together at the same time.  You want him to know the significance of that.
“With color?”  You ask, knowing his answer before he seems to.
“I…”  Din wants to argue, or at least say it again.  He can’t or he’ll lose you, he already told you he doesn’t want to turn the setting off.  It’s such an unnecessary conflict, but you want to respect it so much that you’re willing to give up things of your own to make it happen.
“How do I fix it then?”  You whisper, so desperately wanting this one thing for him, this one grandeur to behold.  How do you fix this problem?  How do you convince him to look with you?  You’d offer to just go and find him instead of continuing to run away for the next few hours, but you know the show will be over soon and you don’t have much time left.  “Do you want me to come look for you?  It’ll be too late by then, you’re too far away.  Look at the sky.”
It’s silent for a moment—truly silent, even though colorful bombs are going off above the bay.  You don’t know why you’ve attached yourself to this so strongly, but it’s almost devastating when you don’t get a response.  You look away from the spectacle for the first time in an eternity, gazing unseeingly into the crowd of onlookers with a sudden sadness taking hold of you.  He won’t look, he’s too stubborn, he holds onto things too tightly.
But then, a flurry of flares start launching in rapid succession from the distant boats, screaming and crying on their way up and then igniting into showers of light, and the abrupt increase in activity manages to catch your attention once again.  This must be the end, they saved the best for last.  Every corner of the horizon flashes and sparks, and you’re mesmerized at how bright it is, how many colors they’ve managed to fit into one single frame.
“It’s beautiful,” comes his voice, and the smile that you break into feels just right for the brilliance of the view above you.  Maker, it is, isn’t it?  Now you can hear it—he sounds like he’s looking at it too, with color, in all its breathtaking glory, and you feel like you’re flying.  Like he picked you up and let you watch up close, like you can feel his armor under your fingers right now as he carries you through the sky.
It swells up inside you, a rising wave similar to the ones you can see in the distance, and you know you probably shouldn’t say it because it’s not in your best interest to say it right now, but you have to say it anyways.  It’s an unknowable compulsion, a need to connect and communicate directly with him but for your sake, not presently, not at this exact moment in time.
Luckily, you mute your comm just in time and simply give the words to him from very far away.
“Hurry up,” you say, sending the sentiment into the sky with all your love, and the conflicting hope that he won’t take the advice until a bit later on.  “Come and find me.”
***
Day 5–7:37pm:
After the fireworks are over, people start to drift off in separate directions, clearing the traffic and congestion from the streets around you.  Someone puts their hand on your shoulder and you blink a few times, spinning around and almost stepping on a bunch of tiny little feet by accident.
Stars, that’s a lot of children.  They’re all crowded around Naydee, who pats a few heads and almost buckles under the younglings clinging to her leg.
“Figured you would be long gone by now,” she grins at you from behind her mask, and you’re reminded to pull yours up over your face just from looking at her.  “It’s late—we’re going back to the Keja.”
“Oh, shit,” you breathe in surprise, but the noise of the gradually dispersing crowd manages to cover it up.  At least from younger, more easily distracted ears, but you think Naydee hears you.  Her dark eyes roll good-naturedly, looking happy but exhausted from the long day.  You’re going to have to say goodbye now.
“What happened to your family?”  She asks after a moment, and you think she’s being careful with the way she says it, likely because family is a difficult topic to navigate in general around some of the children hanging on her and begging for her attention.  “Have you been in touch with them?  If not, I’m sure you can come back with us.  It’ll be late by the time we get there, but at least you’ll be safe.”
You open your mouth to automatically decline her offer, knowing Din is still in the crowded city looking for you and wanting to stay where there’s lots of people.
But then… well, he would expect you to do that, wouldn’t he?
There’s more people here.  More danger, but better places to hide.  It’s the obvious choice, it’s the one that makes the most logical sense.  But you’d also be completely alone and you’re assuming the only reason he hasn’t snatched you up yet—which you know he could’ve done multiple times by now, is likely because you’re with a group of innocent foundlings, moody teenagers, and very stern older women.  He probably doesn’t realize you’ve told them about him and the kid, though you were slightly vague on the details.
It’s also a little over three hours to get back, but you’re banking on it being closer to four with how whiney and tired some of the small voices sound, others sounding like they’re an enormous sugar rush contained into a tiny little capsule.  Would he have the gall to try and get you right from under their noses?  Will he even know you left the city, or will he assume you made the smartest decision possible and simply account for it ahead of time?  No, you're overthinking it, just make a decision and stick with it.
“There’s also free food,” Naydee shrugs while you’re still considering, but… well, that settles that.  Almost three days of friendship and she already knows exactly how to win you over in the end.  Sustenance for your empty tummy, an escort the entire way there, and heavily guarded walls beyond.  Din will have to get creative in response—you flaunted your imagination for days, coming up with dozens of evasion tactics to outlast him, but this one just seems… incredibly practical.  Exploiting a weakness of his—isolating it, having it be reinforced by precedent, and then taking advantage of it.  You bet he’ll catch on, but still, it’ll make it more difficult for him, and you’re grasping at straws to hang on just a little longer.
“I…”  Quick, come up with something.  You clear your throat.  “The city is too crowded, I haven’t been able to find them.  I could just… tell them where I’m headed and see if they can find me along the way?”
Naydee smiles and nods.  “Sounds perfect.”
Yet, the entire walk back… you keep thinking you’re going to feel Din trailing behind you, waiting to feel the nerves twist in your tummy and your palms to sweat, but you don’t.  You keep glancing over your shoulder and then down at your wrist, needing to talk yourself out of addressing him through the comm to let him know exactly what the plan is.  You like maintaining a sense of secrecy from the new characters you’ve met on your adventures—Naydee, Karga, Peli—almost everyone you’ve been introduced to, you found a way to find a subtle enjoyment in hiding certain things from them.  But with Din, you don’t have any walls.  They crumbled nearly a full year ago when he silently pushed a cauterizer in your hand and took his armor off for you, and you’ve felt the inexplicable need to bare yourself to him in return ever since.  It would be to your extreme detriment to do it now, but you still have to fight the urge.
Even if you don’t feel him following, you still find yourself acting like he is.  Constantly turning back to double check the road behind you, drifting off in the middle of shallow, distant conversations with tiny foundlings who can’t tell the difference, keeping towards the middle of the pack this time to avoid being picked off towards the back.  The belltower at the orphanage is loud and will ring for quite a distance, so your timing has to be utterly pristine for this to all work out.  You eye your comm the entire way there, trying to stall just the right amount to avoid any realizations or fall into any traps he may be setting for you.
You eventually leave the city walls far behind you, and now you have no clue where he is.  You lost him, and maybe that’s why you feel your heart beat insanely fast the whole time.  He could be anywhere now.  Behind you, adjacent, parallel—you can’t decide where to look, but it keeps you wide awake and focused while the group tiredly travels back to the temple.
***
Day 5–11:32pm:
You can see it in the distance, the brick buildings slowly coming into view.  One might think your stress would have worked itself out by now, been brought back to a manageable level after four hours of walking, but you’ve been on red alert for the past hour or so.  Any movement or rustle that doesn’t come from the sleepy children or exhausted caretakers, you’re on top of it, snapping your attention to the offending tree or animal and not being able to relax even after affirming it’s just nature, it’s not shiny metal bounding after you in the darkness, ready to take you down.
The infants are all likely snoozing away in the nursery, and the Sister who volunteered to stay behind and look after them comes to greet the group at the gate as you approach.  Like always, two Brothers open the iron bars to allow you inside, and you feel the anxiety dig its claws into your tummy.  If Din is going to get you, this is the very last moment to do it.  These walls are guarded and you’re nervous for him, you’re nervous for yourself—you’re just fucking nervous.  Jumpy and worried, not being able to pinpoint him anymore and feeling all the more anxious because of it.
It doesn’t feel right.  Nothing feels right about this, but you can’t figure out specifically what’s wrong.  This was the exact plan, this was a way for you to just survive these last few hours and yet, it doesn’t feel right that you actually succeeded in doing so.  It doesn’t make sense that he’d allow you to return all the way here, especially when he was close enough to touch you earlier.  Din has had so much time to snatch you up, so many opportunities to lure you away, confront you—anything to catch you, and he hasn’t done it yet.  Why?  Either you truly did escape and he has no idea where you are, which doesn’t feel right, or he’s choosing not to get you for whatever reason, which also doesn’t feel right.  What’s he waiting for?  You can’t have won.  It was all too fucking easy, you’re expecting to see him around every single corner because he should be there, he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen.
When someone gently touches your elbow, you’re so on edge that you nearly whip around in surprise.
“Sorry!”  Naydee immediately apologizes, taking her hand back to lift her hood and remove the mask covering her face.  “Didn’t mean to scare you!  I was just going to say that the commissary is still open,” she offers, and you watch the small group of hungry teenagers break off from the group to make their way there.  “It’s going to take awhile to get the children ready for bed, so we’ll be in the dormitories if you need to sleep.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll see you again.”
You stare at her and blink a few times, trying to readjust your focus.  She’s your new friend, she just said this was likely the last time you’ll see each other, but you can’t stop thinking about Din.  Imagine he’s hours away in the city right now, still looking for you.  You’re trying to evaluate your priorities here, but you truthfully never expected to get this far.  Inside the gates, surrounded by brick buildings and silent guards.  You know your way around here, you know hiding spots, you know how to outlast—it’s incredibly advantageous for you to be inside these walls.  What is he doing?
Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you give Naydee a quick hug and she happily accepts it.  “I’m sure we’ll meet again at some point.”
She smiles and nods, pulling back and letting a couple grumpy foundlings catch her robes and yank on them impatiently.  The loud group eventually disappears into the dorms, and the door shutting behind them cuts off the tired crying and chatty voices determined to stay awake, leaving you in silence that feels slightly unfamiliar after going without it for so long.
Fuck, you just need to breathe.  As soon as the dead quiet grips the air around you, you realize you need to relax.  You’re way too fucking wound up; you want to bolt at the smallest thing and the sudden silence of being alone multiplies it to the point where you have to remind yourself of its importance.  Breathe.  Focus.  There’s about fifteen minutes before the bells ring, fifteen more minutes and the chase will be all over.
Can you eat?  You thought you’d want to, but you think you’re too fucking antsy.  You can’t stay here alone, that’s for sure, but you also don’t want to be around all the children right now.  The commissary will have a handful of people wandering around, teens snacking and maybe a Brother or two standing guard.  It’s the best place to wait the clock out, so you make your way there.  The gentle breeze billows around your loose robes, your pantlegs swishing as you walk.
A few minutes later, you’ve got a plate of food in front of you but your mask is still up, and you’re just sitting there.  Towards the back of the large room, sitting by yourself at one of the tables and staring down at your communicator.  Five minutes.  You have five fucking minutes left before he finds you.  Can you feel him?  Is he closing in?
You sit up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath.  Focus on that feeling from earlier.  The presence in your chest, the weight that didn’t used to be there months ago—focus on that feeling and branch it outwards.  Can you feel him?
Something catches your eye.
Or no… it doesn’t, does it?  Nothing is out of place here, nothing is visibly wrong or amiss.  The only thing that’s changed from all the times before is how dark it is through the windows, and how there are only a few kids in here grabbing a midnight snack instead of being packed like usual.  Nothing else.
But there’s… there’s an acolyte in the far corner, standing guard with his back to the wall.  It’s not his presence that gives you pause—you expected him to be here, there’s always been at least one present whenever you’ve sat down to eat.  He doesn’t look any different from the rest of the Brothers you’ve passed by this evening or the days before—tall, silent, dark brown robes, hooded and mysterious—so why do you suddenly feel yourself break out into a cold sweat as soon as your eyes land on him?
Bubbling laughter and chatter echoes through the large room from one of the tables near the entrance—seven teenagers stuffing their faces with food and sharing animated conversation with each other now that it’s late and they’re alone—but your stomach twists and your fingers start to tremble as you slowly rise from your seat in the back.  You want to keep your head down and be casual but it’s impossible, you desperately need to keep looking at that silent guard in particular and your heart kicks up in your chest—
—and then it wrenches sideways when you’re carefully backing away from the table and the offending acolyte takes a single step forwards.
Run.  Everything in you screams for you to run, and it’s rarely done that before, but you can’t.  Not yet, you don’t want to draw attention, and the logical part of your mind rages against your gut instinct to haul ass.  He’s here—of course he is, the thought screams through your veins as you try to weave quickly in between tables, feeling light on your toes and readying yourself to run as soon as you can.  The dark figure seems to find a careful pace behind you, staying just far enough behind and walking in perfect silence, and you have so many fucking questions but you can’t even think a single thing beyond run away, run away.  Where’s the kid?  How did he get those robes?  Did he actually take his helmet off just to get to you in a room where anyone could confront him?
Your feet propel you forward as soon as you make it out of the door, you break out into a sprint—just flat out bolting because you know how fucking fast he is and you need as big a headstart as you can get.
You race down the stairs and through the courtyard, the beautiful surroundings contrasting drastically with the way you’re running for your fucking life through them.  It’s not beautiful to you right now; you feel clumsy and physically unable to move fast enough no matter how quick you go, your eyes are wide and every nerve is on fire and you can’t even tell if he’s behind you anymore with how silently he moves, but you just trust that he is and keep barreling forward.  Your breath puffs against the clinging fabric of your mask as you keep sprinting, willing your legs to pump faster.  Get to the belltower at least, get to where you have the smallest chance of being caught by the people who guard this place.
As soon as you allow yourself to even conceive the possibility, two Brothers in dark hooded robes suddenly turn the corner a little ways in front of you and your reaction time is perfect—you jerk to a halt and take a single step forward as soon as they spot you.  Since your momentum already committed you to it, you just have to walk, keep your head down, move directly past them and hope Din disappeared from behind you in time.
Step, step, step—keep going, control your breathing, you’re okay, you’re allowed to be up late tonight and they shouldn’t stop you.  Walk right by…  Stars, you feel their silent stares as you casually pass, and it just feels so cold and analytical compared to the kind of danger Din is gives off when dressed in the exact same clothing.  He’s hard and tangible and an unrelenting force, where they just feel like ghosts that haunt this place.  The threat they present is impersonal and detached, but the terror currently chasing after you is so real that he can read your mind.
You wipe the sweat from your brow as soon as you turn the corner, and your feet are already starting to speed up on their own knowing you’re out of their sight.  Run, get to the belltower before Din does, you can see it standing tall about a hundred feet away.  The stairs leading to the door come closer and closer, but you hear something behind you and it propels you faster.  It’s like you can feel him right at your heels even though you haven’t seen him, snapping at your ankles even though your footsteps are the only ones you can hear anymore.
You scramble up the stairs and close the door behind you, spinning around and facing it even as you slowly retreat backwards into the moonlit tower, trying to stay quiet.  Breathing through your nose, eyes shifting around the enclosed space, continuing to back up and away from the door.  Where is he?  There are so many windows that allow you to look outside, but why can’t you spot his movement through them?  Wasn’t he right behind you?
Behind you.
There’s no reason or logic at all to it; you just react.  Spinning around and throwing a mean punch.
Din jerks back just in time to miss it, twisting and dodging at the very last second to avoid your next few hits—but… things seem to slow down, even if they’re happening so fast.  The moonlight cascades through the dozens of windows lining the circular walls and it shines just enough to reveal small glimpses of him.  With every aggressive strike from you, you see something else—you see a flash of his chin when you try to uppercut, you aim for his chest and you see a bit of his jaw.  When you go for his jaw, he steps sideways and catches your wrist, and you see the bend of his nose catch the light this time.
But then it’s like he finally figures out that you’re actually fighting him, and now he’s coming for you.  Trained and ruthless, not weighed down by any armor and lightning quick, launching perfectly aimed attacks that you’re only able to avoid from reaction and muscle memory alone.  You block or move whenever he strikes, you attack whenever you see an opening, you sidestep at the same time he does—
Until you land a spin kick directly to the center of his chest and snap your leg to shove him back, your heel smashing into that soft spot right above his stomach with dead precision and brute force.  He exhales sharply and takes a few more steps back to steady himself while you pause to catch your breath.
Din abruptly comes back and you fall into it with him again, keeping a sharp rhythm with each other that’s faster, harder, and way more real than any sparring match you’ve ever shared.  The hours and days in hyperspace you spent practicing with him are but a fraction of what he’s throwing at you right now, the combinations so rapid and blurred that you just have to trust your knowledge of him and his movement through the dark.
But then, your downfall.  Bells begin ringing an earsplittingly familiar melody above you, and it shatters your concentration—you falter just as he grabs you and sweeps your feet out, and though you know how to get out of that, you’re not quick enough on the jump nor counterswing to prevent it.  He takes you to the ground, hard, and then your wrists are being pinned together above your head and your mask is being tugged down.
Din’s mouth on yours makes you want to cry.
The whole thing is like coming home.  You spent a week surrounded by strangers and having them call you by a name not given to you, fending for yourself, and now here he is.  Someone who knows who you really are, someone that wants to care for you.  Tears come to your eyes even as they're pressed tightly shut, and Din kisses you like he’s never known anything else.  His mouth fits to yours as if the Maker made your lips before ever considering the rest of you, his bare hand clutching your jaw and forcing you to open for him, letting him lick deep inside after going so many days without it.  It might feel dominant and overwhelming if it happened to any other person, but through it, you can also taste his desperation and weakness, how soft he is even when he’s squeezing your jaw and squishing your wrists together too tightly.
Rigid steel that bends only for your touch.
He pulls back and your heart throbs at how moonlight continues to bathe just the smallest glimpses of him under the hood—never the full thing, never the whole face, but enough.  The quiet light that brushes the arch of his nose, how it bathes the hard line of his jaw so that you can barely see his scruff when he turns his head the right way.  His eyes are hidden in near darkness but there’s the faintest glimmer where they should be, and it’s the closest you’ve ever been to looking at him without the helmet.  You can see him, you can see shadows of his chin, his neck—dear stars, his fucking neck.  You’re pinned and paralyzed under him and the ringing bells, yet you feel like you just might float if he wasn’t holding you so tight to the floor.
“Where’s the baby?”  You finally lift your chin and ask, needing to raise your voice over the melody clanging loud throughout the tower.
“Making friends,” Din pants back down at you, and… stars, then you just start giggling.  Adrenaline turning into pure joy, imagining the kid wreaking havoc with all the other babies in the nursery right now.  It feels more light and airy than anything your body should know.
“What are you so happy about?” He asks, swallowing and then continuing on with the same quick gasps.  “You lost, I caught you in time.”
“Did you?”  You drop your head to the brick floor and ask, biting your lip as he stares back down at you.  Suddenly—
—Bong—
Din holds utterly still over you while you take a quick breath and wait for the next eleven bells… 
…but then break into a slow grin up at him when nothing but utter silence follows.
There’s a moment.  Just a single moment where the cogs turn rapidly under that shadowy hood, one where the faint reflection of light in his eyes flickers down to the communicator on your wrist that says midnight and back to you, one that solidifies the longer it takes for another bell to ring.  It’s not going to.
One o’clock.
You think he puts it together.  The one moment he was never able to figure you out—when you tried reprogramming the comms just a few days ago.  The one trick up your sleeve that you resigned to throw away and almost forget about because the circumstances for pulling it off were never realistic.  Fuck with the electronics and set the clock back just one hour—all you’d need to do is reset his communicator, the timecode is synced together.  He told you before that it’s connected to his helmet, but all the buttons still work.  Rapid, panicky thinking and a wild surge of bravery in the face of certain downfall is the only reason you were able to pull it off, and you’re perfectly willing to admit you just got lucky… especially when he’s still holding dead still over you.
But then Din moves so suddenly.  You can’t account for it because there’s no build-up whatsoever—it’s so fast, you yelp while he grabs your knees and throws them both to one side.  You flop over sideways and large hands reach up under the draping length of your tunic to yank your pants down over the curve of your ass, before he’s fitting his palm up between your legs and pushing two thick fingers inside you.
Your head thunks back against brick with how unexpected and merciless it is, but his other hand is grabbing your jaw and twisting, forcing you to look up, stare right into the dark shadow under the loose cowl.  The whole thing is too overwhelming—you’re trying to keep quiet but your breathing feels like thunder crashing inside this tall, echoing chamber.  He’s touched you so many times, he knows exactly how to do it by now, but it feels like so much more than that.  Probably because you can see the way Din’s mouth silently falls open as he feels you, stretching his fingers up and hooking them tight inside.  You can tell when he closes his eyes, the smallest glint slowly disappearing into nothingness while the hand around your jaw blindly moves up.  It catches your chin and lips, and then two fingers push over the bottom edge of your teeth to slip into your mouth.
Your entire leg twitches and jerks while you lay sideways on the ground and open up for him, your neck twisted at a sharp angle to keep your eyes on him and his fingers in your mouth, giving you something to bite to stop making noise.  Din makes room for himself inside you two different ways, and you just choke on his fingers and try to stay quiet, praying he’ll go deeper.
But then you’re not expecting his whole fucking arm to start moving the way it does—oh fuck, what is that?  First you just feel jostled and displaced, but then suddenly a wicked, deep, burning pleasure starts to roar through you, radiating outwards from the rapid motion of just two fingers inside you.  It’s not in and out, it’s up and down so hard and quick against your g-spot that your eyes cross and your hands go numb.
You think you grab at him, clutch onto his arm or chest and open your mouth to moan at the new and overwhelming sensation, but his hand pushes up against your chin and closes it for you, the bend of his fingers caught hard between your teeth but you don’t think he cares.
“Quiet,” Din hisses the word down at you while his arm continues to work, your toes starting to curl as the feeling overwhelms you.  Fuck, what is happening, what is happening?  It’s like he’s just shoving unfamiliar sensation at you so forcefully that you can’t even think straight anymore, not even ten seconds in.  You can only feel the pleasure, fire blurring hot and shapeless through your entire body as your eyes clamp shut, his fingers isolating that perfect spot and stimulating it directly, relentlessly.
Something dull and white hot presses up tight against all the muscles you have down there and you’re almost afraid of how strong it is.  You gasp and choke and he has to take his fingers out of your mouth and just clamp down around your entire jaw, sealing the whole thing shut with his large hand.  And then Din’s fingers leave your pussy too—and stars, you should be embarrassed by how desperately it clamps around nothing for as long as it does.  He’s not even inside you anymore but your body is on such a delay from the hot, twisting pleasure, and he doesn’t put them back in until your muscles are finished spasming.
Everything comes back full force as soon as he starts moving again.  Noise starts to come from your throat, humming in your vocal cords to deal with the arcing, swirling build, and so Din just moves his hand there instead.  He finds where it’s vibrating from your neck and he pushes up against it, trapping the sound right at the source.  He’s fucking perfect at it for some reason… how many times must he have done this to know how to cut noise out without stopping airflow?  You clutch at his wrist and silently mouth his name, feeling his arm work between your legs—faster, faster, harder, pushing you higher, higher—
Din pulls his fingers out again and this time, one of your thighs suddenly feels warm and wet while you spasm and you hear him growl out a ragged, “Fuck yes.”  Everything is sparks zapping through you long after his touch is gone, you cry out but it’s all trapped under Din’s expert grip.  His fingers soon push back inside you and you dig your nails into his forearm, your sounds muffled and quiet enough to hear his raspy groan.  
“Let me see it again,” Din breathes, his arm starting to work up and down once more, and you don’t even know what he’s talking about anymore.  What does he want to see?  You losing your mind again?  Being reduced to an utter mess in front of his shadowy but unobstructed gaze just because you managed to pull one over on him?
Fucking… apparently.  It’s what happens, after all.  You’ve never seen him like this before; whenever he’s worked up and taking it out on you, there was always something in it for him, too.  He’d hammer into you and rock your world until his eventually shattered, and then you’d both lay exhausted afterwards, equally affected and satisfied.  This isn’t like that—this is just cruel, targeted retribution on his behalf, coaxing the molten pleasure out of you with his fingers and keeping his other hand locked around your throat.  You blink helplessly up at him, your vision starting to blur by the time he leans down to whisper to you.
“I missed you, sweet girl.  Did you miss me?”  It’s so soft and quiet compared to the strength and relentlessness of his movements.  You can’t speak even if you wanted to, but when he finally pulls away to yank his hand out and you feel all your muscles automatically flex outwards and push against the sudden emptiness inside you, his voice groans long and satisfied while your thighs get wet again  “Yeah you did,” he breathes, pushing your shaky legs to the brick with his hand and watching you struggle through the aftershocks.
Did you just cum?  You don’t even know, that’s how fucked up you are right now.  The whole thing felt like an orgasm from the very beginning, just a boiling hot tornado ripping through every single cell in your body, never really having a peak.  If you didn’t cum, then why do you feel so weak?  You feel heavy, your limbs don’t work properly, and you barely even register Din pulling at the fabric of his own robes until he fits himself up against your entrance.
When you do realize it, though… your body burns with it, wrecked already but wanting him to take what he wants from you.
“Oh, plea—” you gasp but you don’t even have enough time to get the full sentence out.  He’s already pushing his hips forward, pressing you tight into the ground and opening you up after what feels like a fucking eternity without him.  It’s the hottest, slickest welcome you could give him, you hear it in the whispered curse his lips brush up under your ear, the wet noises your body makes that get louder the longer you hold the moan in your throat and bury your head into his shoulder.  He throbs thick and perfect inside your tight, spasming cunt, stretching you and smacking the rough ground near your head with how fucking good it is to be back, finally, finally—
Your hands grab uselessly at his chest while you try to acclimate, try to breathe while you’re blind with sensation.  It’s so fitting for him, isn’t it?  That your reunion should be just as physically debilitating as it is mentally.  Din’s voice scrapes on a groan like he’s dragging it across the brick ground as quiet as he can, catching when you clamp down on him and shuddering when you clamp down harder.  That’s just it—you don’t ever loosen, you just keep tightening and tightening around him, threatening to break and cum again.
This feels different from before, though.  It’s deep, purposefully so.  His hand reaches up to push the fabric of your hood back, lifting himself up over your body and wanting to start as deep as he can.  You feel him in a place you’d never be able to reach and that’s just the beginning—that’s before he starts thrusting into you, hitting a dull sensation at the apex of each movement so hard that it becomes sharp.  His hips don’t make practically any sound smacking into you because they don’t really smack, they just rock downwards and fuck you into the floor without needing to pull out really at all.  You know he’s just trying to keep it as quiet as possible, but what he lacks in speed and agility he makes up in power.
You don’t even realize you’re making too much noise until a palm wraps tight around your mouth and the room gets a little emptier.  Din keeps you all to himself on the floor, silencing as much as he’s working you up, smothering as much as he’s freeing you.  There’s no easing up, no dragging it out, no gradual build or climb—it’s just there all of a sudden, pleasure and pain pummeling you all at once, engulfing you in flames.
You reach up to grab at the loose fabric of the hood over his face, catching a fistful of it before his hand suddenly snatches your shaky wrist and pins it back to the ground.
Maker, you forgot—oh, you completely forgot about how many people could find you right now if they ever decided to look in the right place.  You’re not in hyperspace; your body is rocking against rough brick, you’re probably going to have a lump on the back of your head from how terrible you are at trying to map out heaven while holding still.  He’s pinned down what he can with one hand; your fingers are the only things that can move besides how tight you can curl your toes, but you feel your moans turn into words against his palm.  They garble indistinctly and you’re not really even sure what you’re saying, but Din decides it’s worth hearing.
“Shh,” he whispers, slowly lifting his hand from your mouth.  “Shh, tell me—”
“W-wanna look,” you hear yourself whimper, trying your best to keep quiet but wanting to scream it while he fucks you hard and slow on the ground, “—I wanna see, I wanna look at you—”
“Fuck,” Din gasps, and though his grip tightens on your wrist and you know he can’t do it right this second, the words seem like they shatter something inside him, “Keep—oh fuck, please, k-keep saying…”
“I want to marry you,” you nearly whine for him, feeling his hips kick up rapidly and start hammering in and out, in and out, in and—“I want to see your face, I wanna be yours, I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I-I—”
You think he drops his head into your neck to muffle his own sounds.  Though they start out rough and quiet and indiscernible, but they gradually become louder as he repeats himself over and over again, growling and fucking you rough.  You only catch it on the peak, when he pulls his mouth away from your skin and gasps them raggedly one last time.
“—ve you—I l-love y—”
He kisses you to stop himself.  But it’s not really a kiss, it’s more desperate than that.  Though it’s beautiful, it’s beautiful in a different light.  It’s not rejoicing at having you back with him once again; it’s a last prayer begging you to stay by his side forever.  He loves you.  He gives it everything—it feels even more concrete and simple than taking the hood off him and revealing his face would.  You told you that you'd know him without ever seeing him, and you did.  You picked him out and found him when absolutely nothing was giving him away, and this feels like a manifestation of that.  Even if you’re not in a place where he can show you his face, his beautiful brown eyes, something still feels like it changes.  He loves you.  You gasp into his mouth and his tongue sinks deep into yours, tenacious and brave and unyielding.  
When you finally cum, you almost bite him on accident.  
Everything surges hot and molten while he pulls back and keeps fucking you through it, and you can’t tell where you’re touching him anymore, just that his skin is blazing hot under your hand and he feels like everything the armor isn’t.  He loves you.  You’re looking into his eyes right now.  You can’t see any of the details, not really, but the moonlight flickers like silent stars moving through dark depths, staring right back at you and giving you an anchor for the euphoria rocketing through you.  He loves you.  Your nails dig in sharp and slowly drag downwards, scratching hard red lines into whatever thick muscle that is—
The back of his neck, making his hips stutter and when he cums for you, he does bite.
You lift your head just in time to feel his teeth catch your chin instead of your mouth, and his entire body shakes while you keep dragging your nails down the side of his neck and his throat.  Din fucking lives for it, he releases you and arches into the pain and owns your marks like he wishes you made them deeper, stretching his neck and lifting his chin into the moonlight and—
Maker.  You can see it, with direct light, you can see more of it than ever before.  You can see his soft lips and white teeth gritting the sound of your name as quietly as he can, the dark facial hair dusting across the lower half of his face.  A fucking gorgeous jawline and throat extended long over you, flexing hard with his cock pulsing inside you.  You can just barely see the bottom of his nose from under the brown hood, the dark curls brushing up under his ears.
Stars, you still never see his eyes, the fabric of his hood acts like a blindfold draped over them, but you think you cum again.  Even if it’s on accident, it’s mean—Din tries to keep from squishing you and his hand pushes down hard against your lower tummy while he shoves his hips deep one last time, and you cum while staring at half of his face in the moonlight.  Completely lovestruck.
How can he be this beautiful when you’ve only seen fractions of him?  You have everything but the eyes now, everything but the most mysterious thing about him, the reflection into his deepest self, but you feel like you’re hypnotized by every single feature you do see.  His tongue coming out to wet his lips, the vein pulling under his sharp jaw—he’s gorgeous, he’s gorgeous, and your body agrees.  It shakes and shudders under him and eventually, Din finishes and you keep looking as his chin slowly lowers, face disappearing into the shadow once more.
Stars.  He’s so handsome and no one has ever told him, fucking dreamy and the biggest grump you’ve ever met.  Without being able to see him, you already want to reach your hands out and touch him, drag your nails through his scruff and force him to extend outwards into the moonlight again for you.  Whenever he does end up showing you his face, you know right fucking now that you’ll never be able to look away.  For the rest of your life, you’ll be staring at him, apologizing blankly for your rudeness but not feeling sorry at all.
Din leans down and gives you a slow, gentle kiss, finally relaxing into a slouch and breathing hard with the effort it took to shatter you with pleasure.
“The kid is with the other foundlings,” he whispers against your lips.  “You… you’ll have to go get him, I need to grab my armor.”
You squeeze around his cock, pulling at the fabric of his robes and ignoring him for just a second.  He fucked you in robes belonging to one of the guards and nobody has mentioned it, you need to say something.  “Where did you get this?”
“I found it,” he tells you after a moment, kissing up under your jaw.  Oh fucking Maker, he feels so good and perfect inside you, shoulders so broad and crowding you on the floor, and his lips are plush and hot, brushing and fitting your skin like it’s just an extension of his own.  “Some guy was wearing it.”
It takes you a second.
“Mando,” you suddenly gasp in quiet horror, pushing at his chest and trying your best to detach his mouth from your throat.  It’s so much more difficult than it needs to be, but you eventually succeed.  “What did you do to him?  Where is he?”
He lifts his neck up just the tiniest bit, turning his face towards yours under the hood and holding still for way too fucking long.  He’s too close to see the expression he’s making, but you know the tone of his silence.  He’s in trouble and he knows it before you do.
“Ma—”
“They’re in a closet,” he admits at the very same time, completely monotone.
You don’t know which word to emphasize.  A fucking closet?  They’re?  Plural?  Instead of stressing any particular word, you decide not to do it at all and it ends up just coming out in the same exact blank tone as him.  “They're in a closet.”
“Inside the Temple,” Din continues on when you lay still as a statue underneath him.  His head slowly dips down once more, pushing his hips against you just the slightest bit to make you remember the cock still inside you instead.  Your eyelashes flutter with it—fuck, focus—“I didn’t know there’d be more than two.”  He kisses your neck so gently.  “It was an accident.”
You don’t say anything at all, your mouth pinching down at the corners because it should but your heartbeat galloping with how… fucking sexy he is.  You shouldn’t encourage this, this horrible behavior just to get close enough to catch you, but your curiosity overtakes you and you ask a question you’ve asked yourself before.  “Did they put up a fight?”
“Mm,” he whispers noncommittally, rocking his hips down once more.  “You did.”  Your nails dig into his chest, making him falter just slightly before slowly kissing your neck again.  “Did so good.  Fought hard, outsmarted me.  Pretty fucking girl.”
And then your eyes pop open as you feel it.  His cock suddenly beginning to harden once again inside you, twitching and gradually gaining a thicker shape, and for a moment, you actually fucking consider it.  He’s the only one in this galaxy that could not only ruin you on these sacred grounds, but then coax you into doing it more than once—stars, are you actually considering it?
“We can’t,” you automatically tell him, but it’s fucking pitiful.  Zero effort, absolutely no umph behind it, leaving it entirely up to him and how much he wants it.  Your logic reminds you that the kid is probably wreaking havoc in the nursery and there are tied up guards in the fucking temple that could be discovered any second.  You shouldn’t have even let him fuck you here in the first place, but…  “Mando, we can’t—”
His mouth opens against the crook of your neck and his tongue brushes velvet hot on your skin, tasting the glistening sweat there and not moving his broad figure a single inch over you besides getting closer, deeper.  Your nails dig into his collarbone, aiming for reason one last time.  It’s apparent that you’d be better off rephrasing, knowing the challenging streak in him and how much telling him what to do doesn't help.
“It’s not a good idea,” you attempt instead, breathless and trying not to move under his mouth and lazy hips.  “Not smart.  Bad idea to fuck again.”
Din’s body stops moving, even though he keeps getting harder.  His jaw opens and then his teeth scrape softly against your flesh, making you tilt your neck back and gasp.
“Later,” he lifts his head to state aloud, committing it to truth now that it’s been spoken and heard by another person.  “Later, I’ll fuck you on the ship, in our bed, when I can get you naked and have your taste in my mouth.”
Tingles rock through your body and you squeeze around his cock just as he pulls it out and tucks it back into his pants.  Your lungs quiver when you inhale—it’s shaky, but it reminds you of how long it’s been since you’ve been able to breathe correctly.
“Later,” you finally agree, combing your fingers through your hair and glad you have this hood to cover your freshly fucked dishevelment.  He came inside you and you don’t want to be leaking and getting your nice pretty robes all wet and stained, but then of course, without any prompting, Din quickly scoots back on his knees and drops his head down to take care of it for you.
***
Commotion.
After Din helped you clean up the way he sometimes likes and then disappeared to change back into his armor, you put your mask and hood back on and tried to look as casual as possible walking to the nursery.  Your knees wobbled slightly and you couldn’t stop smiling under the mask the entire walk there, but when you arrived, you just saw a dim room with sleeping infants—not what you were expecting.  Soon, however, you hear it: down the hall, distant and coming from the dormitories, you hear a loud commotion.
Fuck, you’re nearly wincing with every step you take now, and not because you’re sore.  Well, you… are, a little bit, but in a great way.  No, you’re just dreading the ridiculous shinanigans you already know are well underway, wondering if Din actually dropped the kid off in the dorms from the beginning or if he somehow migrated his way there to cause trouble.
When you walk inside, the first thing you see is a handful of crying and shouting toddlers, and while you can’t immediately spot your favorite floppy-eared monster, you don’t have to see him to know he’s probably standing tiny directly in the middle of this tense showdown.  Automatically, you’re taking a few steps forward to rescue him, but then you stop as soon as you see what the other babies are so mad about.  A large piece of chocolate leftover from the festival levitating just beyond their pitiful little reaches.
Hm.  Who could possibly be responsible for using demon powers to steal snacks and hold them hostage from a sizeable group of hostile children.  A mystery that may never be solved.
It makes you take a second.  The sheer… the… stars, you can’t even think straight—how fucking typical it is just hits you right in the chest, sends your heart into orbit.  Of course.  Of course this is what he’s gotten himself into without immediate supervision, of course this is the shipwreck you’d walk into, and you’re holding back a chuckle before making a single move to intervene.  In the midst of everything, you can hear adults approaching distantly from behind you.
“—don’t know where it came from, I was helping the younglings into bed when I heard the ruckus and I—”
The voices gradually grow louder, and you snatch the floating piece of candy out of thin air and whip around right before Sister Drya and Naydee walk in.  Their hushed, concerned conversation is cut to an abrupt end, and you clear your throat as they take you in, standing in front of chaos central continuing to go off behind you.  Do you… look as freshly disheveled as you are?  You’re not supposed to be here, you know, but hopefully the only strange thing is your presence itself and not anything concerning your appearance.
“Nerida,” the older lady suddenly announces, the name alone holding so much expectation, and the younglings missing their candy have now turned their ire towards you and the crinkly food wrapper hidden in your fist.  “What is the meaning of this?”
“Ah, yeah,” you stand up a little straighter, letting the chocolate casually fall out of your grip behind you, and a stampede of feet suddenly kick up to recover it.  It’s fine, nobody will know, it’s fine.  “It’s just…”  Your head tips behind you to the cause of the uproar, feeling a bit sheepish yet so incredibly fond.  “My… kid.”
Sister Drya stares at you for a few seconds, before tipping sideways and staring at the culprit.  “That is your child?”
You turn around just in time to see him, now abandoned by the angry mob of children, finally notice you.  All of a sudden, his pitch black eyes light up something bright and sunshiney, and you just start beaming in return.  What an adorable little creature, apple of your eye and pain of your ass.
“Yep,” you sigh, dropping into a squat and watching him barrel towards you, catching him right before he can trip over his brown potato sack and scooping him up into your arms.  “Hiya, bug,” you murmur with a grin, lifting back up and plopping him in his favorite spot in the universe—your left hip.  “You making friends?”
He giggles and it’s like sparkles and bubbles fill the room instead, wrapping tiny arms around the largest surface area he can get and clinging.  He laughs with a tiny open mouth, bless him, clearly not understanding the sarcasm, and suddenly your eyes feel just the slightest bit wet.  No, you’re not crying, don’t be fucking ridiculous, but you missed him like hell and he’s just the cutest fucking thing—why do you feel like crying?
“Sorry about that,” you apologize to the two women while slowly turning around, brushing your thumb over one of his cheeks and smiling as it squishes.  “He’s… uh.  Not great at sharing.  We’ll work on it.”
Takes after his dad, you purposefully leave out, just a different kind of sharing.  Din hasn’t shown you his full face yet and the kid performs magic tricks to taunt a roomful of children a fraction of his age for a single piece of chocolate, completely different kind of sharing.
Sister Drya says something in response, but when you look up to address her, all you see is Din standing silently behind her and Naydee, slowly dropping his hand from his helmet to his side.  They don’t seem to notice he’s there and you automatically try your best to pay attention to the Sister speaking to you, but your eyes get caught on the silver reflecting in the dim light beyond.  Fuck, he’s a presence.  An immediate distraction, taking all your focus with a single glimpse.  Seeing him fully armored again, staring at you from the silent shadows behind everything… you melt a little bit, knowing that you’ve seen more of what’s underneath than anyone.  Your shoulders settle and your entire body burns warm, wobbly like the air around a fire, and one of the kid’s hands leaves you to reach out towards his dad.
You watch the metallic helmet tilt sideways after a moment, saying everything without saying anything.  Come on, make up an excuse, let’s get out of here.
Looking at him in the quiet shadows, you’re reminded once again about how much you love him, how much softness you have inside you for a man so hard, so guarded.  And, for the first time, a voice in your head finishes a poem you didn’t realize you were writing, adding its own verse and bringing everything back around to the beginning.  He loves you, too.  How much he lets his guard down for you, the way he’s revealed more of his face to you than not.  You love each other.  You’re family.
So, all at once, you decide to mess with him, because that’s what family does best.
“Don’t be shy, come say hello,” you suddenly urge his silent figure, taking a step forward and speaking directly to him.  “Sister Drya, Naydee, I’d like to introduce you to my—”
It’s remarkable, you see it happen in front of you.  Like he has powers of his own, Din just literally fucking disappears.  Like magic, he’s nowhere to be found within a blink of an eye.  You know he’s capable of it; he’s done it plenty of times during the chase just to fuck with your head, but you’re staring straight at him when it happens this time and it might just be the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever seen him do.
Sister Drya and Naydee both turn around to an empty hallway bathed in shadows and you laugh.  A deep, shameless, loud belly laugh.  Where the fuck did he go so quick?  You were staring straight at him and you have no fucking clue.  He’s just out, and you’re left alone with his child and the unspoken understanding that he’ll just catch up with you later.
You’re giggling even as you shake your head and give the women your genuine thanks for keeping you and feeding you these past few days, grabbing your backpack with all your belongings and eventually using three green fingers to wave goodbye to them.  The very first thing Din says when he seamlessly joins you outside the Keja later is, “That wasn’t funny,” which just makes you laugh harder.
***
About a half hour has passed, and you’re walking along a dirt road, cradling a very happy baby in your arms and giving the grown man next to you an incredibly hard time.
“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, your back twinging slightly at the way you’re leaning about as sideways as you can get without falling over.  You think you’re basically just the hypotenuse between the ground and Din, who easily supports almost your entire weight with your backpack slung around his far shoulder and readily allows you to rest against him.
“They’re fine,” he grumbles in response, squeezing you tight to his side.  You just have to focus on moving your feet; it’s like he’s practically carrying your upper-half anyways.  “I gave them the night off.”
“You stuffed them in a closet,” you hiss, feeling his shoulder shrug under your cheek.
“I gave them the robe back,” he says, not really defending himself and more just throwing it out there to see if it helps any.  “I’m sure someone’s found them by now, they’re fine.”
Your eyes suddenly go wide, absolutely mortified at the thought.  “Wait.  What do you mean you gave the robe back?”
He shrugs once more, apparently not seeing the problem yet.  “I borrowed it, so I gave it back after I put my armor back on.”
If you could plant your feet on the dirt road and screech to a halt, you would, but all your weight is already resting on him and you’re working solely off his forward movement.  You just hope your tone holds the same amount of shocked disapproval your body language would’ve conveyed if you weren’t so completely attached to his hip like a parasite he adores.
“You fucked me wearing it, though.”  Your voice is strangely flat, so fucking confused and horrified by the mental image of him just tossing the soiled garments haphazardly somewhere in the temple behind you, or even worse, leaving them somewhere respectful, and Din soon stops in the middle of the deserted road.
“Oh,” is all he says, emotionless and blank through the modulator.  Did he not even consider this?
“I had to promise them I was a virgin just to sleep there, you know,” you admit, and you can tell that’s brand new information to him with how still he goes as you continue to lean against him.  You’re getting the feeling that he probably knows a lot more about your experiences on this moon than you think he does, but can tell that this is brand new information to him.  “And you locked three of their holy men in a closet, chased me across the temple grounds, fucked me in one of their robes, and then.  You gave it.  Back.”
Din stays perfectly silent for quite some time.  You can never go back to that place, you know this for a fact.  You’re banned forever now, it’s what you deserve.
Never one to be outdone but not actually having anything to say for himself, Din suddenly decides to just scoop you into his arms and boost up into the sky without a single word like an actual fucking maniac.
You squeal and damn near drop the baby because of it, but he cinches you tight to his chest and refuses to loosen with your struggle.  Eventually, after you realize he’s completely locked you in and you won’t fall to your death with this poor innocent child in your arms, you glance over the shiny pauldron on his shoulder and watch the kid’s crib disappear by the abandoned road as Din takes you higher and higher.
The crib—he forgot the crib—
“D-Din,” you stammer out through the whistling air, stiff as a board.  Stars, you have such a different sense of adventure than him; an explorer and a daredevil, one who gets a thrill from discovering the existence of the edge of a cliff and one who’ll take a running dive off of it without thinking twice.  He’s hit with blaster fire some days, he faces down death completely fearless like it owes him one every single time, and you’re stiff as a fucking board while he carries you through the sky.  It’s stunning up here, it’s exciting and wonderful, but you’re so scared that you can barely even look.  He’s giving you the most fantastical view, everything your budding adventurous streak could ever ask for, and your terror is crushing.  It would be different if you could hold on, but you’re responsible for not letting the baby slip through your arms and you just have to trust that he won’t let you slip through his.
You raise your voice.  “Din?!”
“I won’t drop you,” he automatically reassures, and well you sure as fuck hope not, but there’s something else.
“What about the crib?”  You call out over the wind whipping, tucking the baby tight to your chest and settling your hands over his ears to avoid them flapping and whacking you repeatedly in the chin.
“We’ll come back for it,” he responds, just as easily.  Maker, you wish decision-making came that easy to you, that commitment and choice should be so simple as to just fly away from things on the ground and promise out loud to come back for them.  You know he will, but still, his spontaneity shocks you after spending the past week thinking every decision through meticulously, and you’re taken aback by the casualness of it all while soaring through the sky, committing such spectacular feats without a single thought beyond it.
Soon—incredibly soon, which honestly kind of blows your mind—you spot Nariss glowing in the distance and then you’re flying overtop of the city, slowly dropping altitude in the middle of a quiet little side street.
Din carefully allows your feet to settle on the ground before letting go, but you still stumble a bit stupidly after flying so high without any sort of safety measure besides him, prioritizing the steadiness of the baby in your arms instead of your feet underneath you.  His gloves catch at your clumsy body and pull you along with him without another word, leading you out of the quiet alley and into the middle of a beautiful, luminescent street.
What’s he doing?  He seems slightly hurried, and you’re clueless but you go with it, clamoring along behind him to wherever he’s leading you.
Though, you suddenly remember one of the very last things you told him last night right before he steps up in front of a vendor.
“Caf,” Din grunts, sliding a few credits towards the man standing behind the counter. “The… biggest one you have.”
Okay, well.  You could just about fucking cry.
“Y’sure?” The vendor asks skeptically, jerking his head at the large thermos behind him.  He’s balding, wearing a white outfit with his eyes scrunched up and forehead sweaty, likely working all day.  “It ain’t fresh.  Closin’ up soon, was just about to trash it and go home.”
The helmet turns to gauge your response to the news, the sharp angles and contours looking so sleek and dangerous as they reflect the colorful lamplights, but just filling you with comfort beyond anything in the entire galaxy.  He’ll take that armor off for you tonight and you’ll sleep next to him.  He’ll call you by your given name, or the fond name he’s given you, and you’ll cuddle your baby on a metal floor in hyperspace with him, and all will be well.  Even if he needs to leave again soon—even if you don’t get to go with him, you’ll always have these small eternities with each other, and that’s more enough for you now.
You’re completely zoned out while staring at him, and Din turns back to the vendor before you can even remember the conflict he was attempting to defer to you.
“Yeah, just empty the whole thing in there for her,” he mutters, and you want to marry him.  It’s been a long week, and in your haze and delight of being with him in this gorgeous setting, your brain turns to cavewoman mush.  Big man, makes me happy.  Strong man, loves me, knows me.  Provider, makes me feel good, protector, loves me.
Din hands you the large cup of steaming caffeine, clueless to your grunted inner monologue but knowing better than to reach out and grab the kid from your other arm.  You’re just fine like this, hands full, the little frog snuggled up against your side and blinking up at your face instead of any of the shiny or glowing things around you.  When you look down at him, you can see the world through his eyes—quite literally, they’re reflective and gigantic—and his father’s hand quickly finds its preferred spot on your lower back.
“Try to drink it quick,” Din advises you gruffly, pulling you snug into his side and sloshing the big cupful of piping hot liquid in your hand.
“It’s a thousand degrees,” you protest, trying to balance your three favorite things in the universe all begging for your direct attention at once.  “It has to cool down.”
He gives a dismissive hm in response, and you frown even as your heart soars with how tightly he’s gripping you, how little leeway you have to even move without him.  Part of you is so thrilled at being reunited with him that you consider snarking something back at him, excitement making you brave.  He could probably chug boiling hot liquid in thirty seconds and doesn’t see the point in letting it sit any longer, and you could make some stupid joke about filtering it through his helmet or having a built in bendy straw but you decide to keep it to yourself.
So then you just stand there together, under stringed lights and flowers everywhere, and he waits.  Holding you glued to his side, completely silent and clearly just waiting for your caf to stop steaming so threateningly in your hand so you can drink it.  For some reason, the fact that he’s wanted by the New Republic doesn’t really register at this second—you’re not looking for cops, though he may be.  You’re just lost in this beautiful, fancy city that’s on the edge of finally quieting down after a long day, and you’d like to see more of it with him next to you.
“Well, do you wanna just…”  You ask, tilting your head around at all the vendors.  “Shop around for a bit?”
“Shop… around,” Din repeats slowly, sounding the words out like they’re not common Basic.  Admittedly, they do sit a bit awkward in his voice when put together like that, describing a phenomena he’s likely never even considered a thing before, but it’s so fucking pretty here and you’d like to show him something this time instead of the other way around.
“Yeah, like,” you shrug a shoulder, tipping your head in a random direction.  Anywhere, you’ll go literally anywhere with him, the three of you can go explore.  “Just wander around, and look at all the pretty things.”
From where you’re standing right now, you can already see glittering crystals and jewels being sold at the tent across the street, there’s a booth dedicated entirely to floral arrangements and crowns next to it, you can hear a distant quartet playing melodically in the distance and a couple is being painted by an artist on the corner.  Bars are in full swing at this point, as if they weren’t all day, and even though the merchandise is all different, the multicolored tents look slightly similar when they’re underlit with multicolored lights.  It’s less slightly lively than it was in the daytime, but also… more beautiful, in a sense.  Muted, softer, more romantic.
“I don’t have any more credits,” Din admits casually, finally turning to look around at everything.  You get the feeling that he’s just now seeing it, even after spending the entire day here.  “That stale caf was the last of it.”
Money well fucking spent, you can assure him of that.
“It’s okay,” you tell him automatically, gently bumping your hip into his.  “We don’t need credits, we can just look.”
So that’s what you do.  Even though it’s completely not his fucking style, for the next hour or so, you just walk around downtown with him and sip your caf, looking at anything and everything new and experiencing it with him.  At first, you think he’s just entertaining you, following you while you discover new streets and attractions, but then he points out different things and you know he's looking, too.  There are large animals harnessed up and pulling carts for people to ride, there's an enormous spinning wheel set up in the distance, its colorful lights flickering out as soon as you ask what the fuck that is and why anyone would ever get inside one.
You eventually end up finishing your caf around the time he’s leading you back through a quiet, abandoned alleyway, and you hand him the empty cup to throw away in one of the trash cans on the corner.  The conversation has faded to a comfortable quiet and you don’t really need to ask—you go willingly, not requiring anything beyond his hands on you and the baby dozing in your arms.
“Come on, sweet girl,” he murmurs, gently sweeping you up into his.  You sigh, glad he’s giving you a moment to prepare yourself this time, holding the sleeping kid securely to your chest and resting your head on his shoulder.  “Let’s go home.”
After you’re comfortable, Din rockets up from the ground and climbs high up into the canvas sky.  He disappears with you and the baby into the pastel clouds above, making it back to the Razor Crest in probably about an hour, maybe less.  You and the baby do nothing more than climb into the comfy floor blankets while Din starts up the engines, and you think you’re dozing off together by the time he makes the pit stop to collect the crib and the jump into hyperspace.
You think he might shower?  You’re not sure—you just know he moves up behind you in bed at one point without any armor, burying his face in your hair while you cuddle the sleepy kid to your chest.  It’s dark in the hull, Din’s palms are bare and warm as they slide around the front of your body and he breathes you in, and there isn’t a single place that can touch you here, not a single place you’d rather be.
Home.
***
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@followwhereshegoes​ Thank you for the stunning artwork! 💕To anyone interested in possibly doing an art collab in the future, please message me!!
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yeoreos · 3 years ago
Text
avid || jjk (m)
pairing: demon!jungkook x human!reader
genre: 18+, smut
summary: jungkook finds you at a bar and sets you as his night's target
warnings: oh lord smut. lots and lots of smut.
wc: 4k
note: i was kind of lazy to finish it, but hey, its 4k of foreplay; nothing beats that! (also sorry for not posting in a while i was busy with beginning of year exams *cries*)
jungkook first noticed you in a bar. on weekends, it was transformed into a seedy nightclub. he liked to go there while he was looking for something to eat; something to conquer for the night. he discovered a plethora of attractive females and, each with broken hearts and hungry gazes - all yearning for a nighttime lover.
he never believed his eyes when they landed on you. the state you were in was pitiful. he guessed that you had just broken up with this boyfriend of yours, hence the mascara and ruined makeup on your face. or perhaps it was a platonic breakup. despite your state, his mahogany orbs never left your figure. what a cute thing you were.
a pretty face that was exactly his type, the perfect curves of your tits, hips, and ass has his knees weak. if you were to ask, he would give.
of course, his initial plan had been thrown out the window the instant he saw you. you leaned against the bar, accepting an order, with a grin on your lips. It sparked something in him, all the confidence (whether it be from the alcohol in your veins or not, it didn't matter to him) and allure.
he knew your name. how could he miss the way your own name rolled off of your tongue so easily? how could he miss the way your lips formed a smirk after seeing jungkook? how could he miss your scent when you pulled him in to kiss you?
this was jungkook's specialty, depravity. wherever he went, he brought a tale of wickedness and depravity with him, the quality hooking onto him like a magnet.
he was a fallen angel, to be sure. a demon, a fallen angel. to be more specific, an incubus. he fed off of sex and vice, appetites and irrational cravings. he drank often in front of ladies like you, at bars or in beds, whose gazes wracked over him, and he fed off of human energy.
over time, after a handful of centuries, he had gotten bored of playing the same old games in bed. jungkook knew what he wanted, however, he was never able to satisfy that itch in the back of his throat, yearning for something to quench his sinful thirst.
he was tired, watching from atop the hill nearby, where he watched the sun rest for the night. just like you had. the darkness of the night overtook the city of seoul and jungkook knew it was his hour to strike; to feed his thirst.
so, the demon went after you, hovering over your small figure over the pathetic excuse of a bed. the soft rising and falling of your chest and the soft snores that escaped from your mouth once in a while, was all the proof jungkook needed that you were fast asleep.
jungkook extended his hand towards you, brushing his knuckles on your cheek, a tremor coursing through his body as a result of the contact. the energy you were emitting caused every molecule in his body to twitch in response. captivating.
oh how badly he wanted a taste.
when you stirred a little, a small groan leaving your lips, jungkook stilled. had you woken up? however, it was just a small movement you were causing in your sleep which allowed you to further curl up against the pillow.
he grinned.
it was time.
"let's go in that dream of yours, shall we?"
-
when he opened his eyes again, jungkook didn't expect himself to be in the same bar, be in the same exact position as before. however, this time, you were looking directly at him with your hungry eyes, mimicking his.
ever since heaven had decided to clip his wings, jungkook gave up on the little purity he had left, letting himself follow his heart.
so that's why he felt no shame in eyeing your figure up and down multiple times.
it wasn't necessarily anything that stood out about you, but it was just the aura you were giving off, that sweet feminine scent that lingered near the air around you, that small curve of your lips. but it might have mostly been the way you called for him, despite not knowing his name.
"hello, handsome."
jungkook didn't really have a preference when coming to his targets. he didn't prefer virgins; he always thought that they were inexperienced and didn't know how to give a good head. he didn't prefer the experienced either; he always thought that they knew too much and made the sex too sloppy. it was somewhere in between. and by the looks of it, you seemed like the perfect target. it had his insides churning, a long yearning for a good fuck. he thought he was going crazy.
throughout his centuries of living, he saw empires and clans of royalty fall and rebuild itself, being reborn. he didn't go out of his way to feel good, but he took whatever the universe offered to him. in this case, it was you.
when the surroundings suddenly changed to a much quieter one, where no one was bumping into each other, jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. it did not, however, take him long to notice that you were in the premises of your bedroom, the small plants on your windowsill being a huge clue.
“who are you?” you inquired, your voice scarcely audible. smirking, the man took a step forward. in contrast to his sparkling eyes, the moonlight from the window follows his body flawlessly, giving him a blue tone on his skin. you became aware of his exposed skin due to his lack of clothing. as you took in his powerful body, a flicker of longing tingled between your legs.
the man stayed deafeningly silent. instead, the man crept onto the bed, trailed by what appeared to be a shadow. you kept a tight eye on his every move because you couldn't move. you felt yourself spreading your legs wide as he crept over top of you. you had a tremendous want to feel him and be completely consumed by him.
despite being a demon, a sex demon (literally), jungkook still understood the morals of consent, making sure it was his top priority. after all, he wouldn't want it if he was in your position.
"are you okay with what's going to happen?" his words were like a captivating chime in your ears, quickly relaxing you and making you desire more. you found yourself placing our hands on his shoulders in order to feel his silky skin. how was it possible for a man to be both burning hot and icy cold at the same time? the dampness between your legs was unbearable, and you were drawn to him with all your might. your nipples perked beneath your shirt as you didn’t wear a bra to bed, you remembered. this made sense. something you remembered vividly. just a shirt and panties was all you wore to bed. clearly you must be dreaming, so you may as well indulge without regret.
"y-yes." you dropped your hands to grasp your shirt and pull it over your head to display your nakedness while looking into the man's eyes. with a hunger for your every move, he kept an eye on you. as he glanced over you, his throat vibrated with a palpable growl. you noticed he was completely hard as your gaze slid down your body with his. in a humble tone, you inquire, "is this real? this isn't a dream, is it?"
the man's grin makes your entire body twitch. you feel him quickly remove your underpants and fling it somewhere off the bed. you become acutely aware of the excitement between your legs as well as the heat emanating from his body. he lowers himself still more until he's right up against your door.
“would you prefer to be dreaming... or would you prefer to be here with me?” the man inquires, his tone innocent but with a sinister undertone.
when you reached for your thighs to give yourself some relief, there was nothing there. as your eyes scanned your surroundings, all you could feel was the chill of your own flesh. red. your vision was completely red. it was almost as if someone had brought in a red mood lamp and shone it throughout the room. it was entirely painted in a bright crimson color. your epidermis. the walls on all four directions. it was all red.
everything seemed hazy and perplexing, and you wondered where you were. you were in a new environment. some may even argue it was a living hell.
you sat up and wrapped yourself in the nearest blanket you could locate before standing up. warm wooden floorboards greeted your bare feet. “what?” kneeling down, you firmly pressed your hand on the wood once again to be sure you weren't hallucinating, but then again, what's to say you weren't hallucinating the whole thing?
'im not a lunatic... you thought to yourself as the warm sensation of the wood stretched across your palm. you straightened up and looked about your flat, trying to figure out what you could do about the red. you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red. nibbling on your lower lip gently, you stood up straight and began to look around your apartment to see if there was anything you could do about the red.
the door to your bedroom squeaks open just as you were ready to turn on the light switch. the sound reverberated throughout the room with such eerie intensity that you were nearly persuaded your tv had turned back on and was showing yet another horror movie. then something happened. from your room, a man who could only be described as the devil strolled in as if he owned the place. you would be fascinated by this man's beauty if he hadn't just walked in like that. a scar runs from the left side of his jaw all the way down to his neck, giving him a strong jawline. his delicate yet sharp-looking features are caressed by soft wild hair, and his adorable small head is adorned with two pointy horns. it was the eyes, though, that drew your attention.
not the fact that he emerged from your room shirtless. nor the fact that he had claws and a commanding tail swishing back and forth. no, it was those soulless black eyes that were piercing right through you. your very being. you were in some type of trans as the mystery man - no, not man - thanks to those black coals. devil. That sounded more like it.
you couldn't take your gaze away, but as your feet shuffled you further away from this entity, they did all the thinking for you. it only appeared to encourage the beast to keep going before you pressed up against him and the wall. as you summoned the strength to speak up, your grip on the blanket trembled a little. “wh-what are you looking for?” your voice faded away quietly.
the devil had smirked at your frailty and little dread before running a clawed hand through your unkempt hair “i'm starving, my love.” before leaning in and drinking in your aroma, it spoke in the lowest, almost infantile voice. “won't you feed me nice and well, love? after all, you did want this to be real, right?” you weren't sure if it was the tone of his voice or the proximity, but you nodded in accord.
he grabbed your neck and ran his tongue across his lips before taking you into a harsh but passionate kiss. soft cherry red lips ravished your lips in a ravenous embrace while his hands roamed across your body, grasping and groping everything it could find.
a deep moan emerged from both of you as you felt the tightness of his jeans against your leg, causing a burning feeling. the burning of want burned through your skin everywhere he touched, everywhere he invaded with his mouth, hands, and body. it was almost a nasty, twisted euphoria that made your cunt clench around nothing in eagerness.
as the unnamed monster looked you up and down, an almost animalistic growl exited his throat as he took a deep inhale, you gasped for air. “love, you smell so fucking amazing for me.” he spoke in hushed tones through little pockets of air. “you're so delicious that i could devour you whole.”
the very thought of doing so appeared to amuse him, as he let out a brief but malicious laugh before narrowing his focus to the blanket still clinging to you.
with a scowl on his face, he clasped his larger hand around the one holding the blanket in place before yanking at it, only to have you keep it in place. the devil, with his head cocked to the side, gazed at you, perplexed, as if he didn't understand what you were doing.
“it's just that,” you murmured, tightening your jaw at the gaze those empty eyes gave you like a chill up your spine, "i feel comfortable like this...” you muttered the last bit, swallowing any spit you had.
but there was no justification or apology for him, so he raised his claw into the air and cut the blanket, ripping it open wide.
fear, as well as the lust racing through your veins, were clouding your judgment once more. the notion that his claws were so near to slicing you terrified you and turned you on like nothing you'd ever experienced. it gave a sense of how perilous it was to be so near to this creature, which was part of what made it so thrilling.
"baby, nothing is safe when i'm around."
those words, on the other hand, did it for you. you reached out to him as soon as you dropped the tattered blanket on the floor, exposing yourself to him. you drew him back into another intense kiss by wrapping your arms around him and springing up to wrap your legs around his waist. as he grasped your thighs to keep you in place, he was caught completely off guard by your sudden bravery.
each passing breath spent on one another battling for control, hips sliding up against each other as your damp panties rubbed up against his encaged dick, which was most definitely pressing painfully against the denim trousers he was wearing, made the kiss more hungry and animal-like. the cool contact of skin moving up against your back and down your underwear made you whimper.
despite his animalistic state, you always thought he was beautiful, a rare creature. "you're beautiful," you murmured, oblivious to the fact that you were saying it aloud. he laughed with his head tilted back. his neck was big and thick, but it was the raised markings that went all the way around it that caught your eye; they were woven together like chains, as if he had been choked with scorching metal.
the demon kissed you long and hard, barely pausing to breathe. His tongue was lengthy and had a split down the center. it was a novel experience that was strangely addictive. you became engrossed in the way it encircled your own. with his fangs, the monster simply paused to tug on your lower lip. as his hand moved down to your thigh, you let out a faint little groan.
he sang, “such a good girl,” as he drew you up into his arms. Jungkook snatched you up like feather. as you placed your legs around his tiny waist, his arms bulged. before he entered your room, he gave you a lengthy, scorching kiss. you had your arms around his neck, sliding your fingers through his hair and scraping against the base of one of his horns as an experiment.
the devil looked down at you as you lay on your bed, his crimson eyes flashing in the dim light. only those eyes and the white-tipped base of his horns could be seen with the moon blearily seeping through your blinds. it felt as though the monster beneath your bed had arrived to devour you. slowly, he moved his hand up the wall, flicking on the light and bathing you both in a golden glow.
you eventually let your gaze drift away from his, focusing on his toned chest, tight waist, and muscular thighs. when you noticed the bulge yearning to be freed from his pants, you licked your lips. he finally went closer, his lips brushing against yours as he crept between your legs. his hands crept up to the band of your shorts, the heat of his palm scorching and heavy on your bare thighs.
he yanked your shorts down your hips and flung them behind him as he kissed you. he tore through your shirt even quicker, softly cursing as he saw your naked breasts. you yanked on his shirt, trying to get a better look at him and to touch every scrap of exposed flesh you could discover. he sat back and yanked his shirt off, displaying golden skin stained with crimson ink and muscular abs that rippled with each breath. you were so focused on his appearance that you almost missed the expression in his eye as he glanced down at you.
“fuck, you look like an angel,” he said, reaching down to rip your panties apart, only to shred them. your moist lips were exposed by the chilly air as you gasped. at the sight, he bit his lower lip and groaned. “very gentle and plaint." slowly, he ran his hands down your body, starting at the rib cage and working their way down to your thighs.
his fingers became hotter and hotter along the way, till they were on the verge of burning. until he came to your knees and quickly shoved your legs apart and up, crimson streaks remained on your skin. smirking at your hiss of pain, his palms pushed your thigh back till they touched your chest. “so ready to be used,” he states.
"please do."
“well, angel, since you asked so nicely,” he leaned very close to your cunt and licked a lengthy strip. his forked tongue slithered inside your slit, relishing in the lengthy groan that came out of your mouth. he swirled above the opening for a minute, then slipped just the tip of it inside when you finally relaxed against him.
jungkook gradually started penetrating your pussy with his tongue. the warm, slithery appendage that slithers in and out of you with increasing ease, flicking at your g-spot and making you whine in delight. you exhaled with relief when he licked up to your clit, only to scream when he clamped his mouth over the delicate nub and sucked hard enough for you to see stars.
moans and groans emitted from your lips and the demon could have sworn he had never heard anything prettier. his mouth salivates against your lips, only causing him to dip down near your entrance and trail his tongue back to your little nub. oh how sweet you were.
"my angel's already close to cumming?" there was no denying that. he had already noticed you were quickly approaching your high by the way you tugged on his locks and the way your moans became higher in pitch.
the demon took two of his long fingers and slipped them into your pussy, a squelching noise emitting from the action. you tugged so hard on your lips that it was plump and swollen, the irony blood almost spilling from them. he quickly started pumping his fingers and curling it, sending you seeing stars. he wanted you to get ready for the real deal (aka his cock).
"god, please fuck me, please please i'm so close to cumming but i wanna cum on your cock, please," if it weren't for you sounding so pretty and desperate for him, the demon would have prolonged the foreplay.
“there is no ‘god' here,” he hissed, sliding two fingers inside your pussy and sucking hard on your clit as you almost shouted in delight. his fingers curled within you quickly, drawing you closer to the brink. your fingers ran aimlessly through his hair, yanking it back to keep him near. you scratched on one of his horns with your nails.
it wasn't until another orgasm crashed upon you that the demon stopped.
you were spent; messy hair, hazy eyes, drool dripping down your chin and onto your neck and some parts of your chest.
as sly as a fox, you felt jungkook pressing his heavy length on your clit, the warmth and hardness of it evident in the way it pressed up against the little nub. jungkook evilly rutted against the bundle, sending sharp pleasures erupting from the mere action.
you thought he would stop at a few thrusts, however, jungkook had other plans in mind. those being seeing you completely helpless underneath him (not like you weren't before).
with one more came a push, your insides clenching and squeezing the head of his cock like a vice. jungkook stills above you; only the tip in and you're already this tight? he allows a shaky breath to reveal itself from his throat, the sound coming out a little more strangled and choked that he intended it to be.
you took him inch by glorious inch. the two of you reveled in the pleasure, drinking off of each other's moans and heat.
the rest of the night was spent in each other's arms. it wasn't romantic, but it sure as hell was full of pleasure.
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Text
It started with a whisper
I originally wrote ‘Like I did with you’ as a one-shot but people wanted a sequel. This turned out to be waaaaay longer than expected (4.7k word count). Inspired by Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. I hope you lot enjoy!
Ao3
(Also this is Mari’s new outfit, all credits go to the original artist)
————
Two teens stood upon the balcony of a large banquet hall, exposed to the midsummer night air. The sky was a lilac blanket that hung over the Parisian buildings, speckled with glowing stars. The moon, with it’s crescent smile, beamed down of the young couple.
Hey, baby, won't you look my way?
Marinette’s eyes were closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, relaxing after the night’s rapid escalation. Tonight she had arrived at the ball with the intent to be there for her friends, but somehow she found herself within the arms of Gotham’s (and probably Paris’) Ice Prince. She had overheard his nickname from the Gotham students, one of which being Jon, who was in the middle of mocking the young Wayne. She had never considered that nickname as suitable; sure he was temperamental & had a tendency to snap, but icey to the core? No.
I can be your new addiction
Damian was calm. For the first time in his life he felt like he could take a breath. His exhale was carried off by a small gust of wind, the bush over hanging the stone railing rustled. With his inhale, the scent of Marinette’s perfume became present once more. Mixed with the crisp night’s air, her usual scent of pastries was mixed with what could only be described as ambrosia. His phone vibrated within his pocket, it was never on volume due to the potential risk it caused during his heroic activities.
“Shit.” Notifications covered his screen, multiple tweets, Instagrams and Tiktoks in which he had been tagged in. But the alert came from his family’s private messaging chat. The whole thread was a shit storm, Grayson and Todd’s messages were completely capitalised (he learnt years ago this meant ‘to yell’ in writing form) and both had multiple ‘keyboard spasms’. Drake, like the thorough detective he is, had combed through the images and videos, investigating their validity. His honorary sisters had replied with ‘awwwww’(s) and ‘Omg we MUST meet this girl! I need to know how she tamed the demon!’. He could practically hear Brown’s shrill voice from across the ocean.
Hey, baby, what you gotta say?
No reply from his father or Alfred. The two of them were the only semblance of ‘normal’ paternal figures he had within his life, after the sham of a relationship he had previously held with his grandfather. Their silence unnerved him.
Marinette had noticed his attention had shifted to his phone, her own mobile was buzzing away within her baby pink purse. Messages, notifications of account tagging and comments galore. A sigh left her lips when she saw her parents seemed to be none the wiser. Good, she didn’t need to deal with future adoration for ‘The boy who swept our daughter off of her feet’ (or something along those lines).
Her cheeks regained some of the warmth they held before as she thought of her parent’s reaction. Scrolling through her Twitter she saw her friends had posted multiple images of the night’s events, majority being her shared dance.
Chloé Bourgeois @TheBestBourgeois
what kind of Disney shit is this? (Insert video of two teens dancing around an mostly empty dance floor.)
Alix Kubdel @Sk8trGirl
Replying to @TheBestBourgeois
I KNOW RIGHT?! THEY WERE FUCKING FLOATING!!!
All you're giving me is fiction
She was thankful that they hadn’t tagged her but she hadn’t been spared by others in attendance. Her post thread had blown up, thousands had commented and even more had viewed the evidence. There was no way she would come out of this unscathed.
“Has anyone been on Twitter today?” The blonde of the family asked as she walked into the dining room. Her eyes focused on her scrolling screen, brows furrowed in confusion. “Actually has anyone seen what’s happening on any of our socials?”
It was early in the afternoon and the family had recently returned home after a straining stakeout. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and the Batfam had to deal with his minions. Dick’s arm was in a sling (sprained from a grapple gone wrong), Jason was icing his hand, Alfred was stitching Bruce’s chest wounds while Tim and the girls escaped without severe injuries. All were still recuperating and finally able to recharge.
Alfred always enforced a strict ‘no devices at the dinner table’ rule; no matter how urgent it was, it could wait until after sustenance was consumed. Tim strongly opposed this, but there was no arguing with Agent A. This all surmises that probably no one had seen the crap storm on social media.
I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time
Bruce sighed, bringing his free arm up to rub his eyes. Tilting his head back to look at Steph, “Who was it this time?” Barbara quickly took out her phone to see what Stephanie was talking about, all the while glancing accusingly at Dick and Jason. Both of whom held up their arms (or in Dick’s case arm), declaring their innocence.
“It wasn’t fucking me!”
“Jason! Language!” Dick shot a glare at Jason and was met with one in return. “It wasn’t me either.”
“Then who-“ Bruce started before being cut off by his most rambunctious daughter.
I found out that everybody talks
Stephanie with a squeal, exclaimed that it was Damian. Visions of what the Wayne brat could have done flashed through the heads of everyone in the room. He had been sent overseas before the quarantines and lockdowns hit. During Damian’s first month in France he had been forced into online schooling and then finally when he got to go to in-person classes he hated it. Described the class as a kindergarten with petty and vindictive toddlers.
Had he broken someone’s arm? Was that person of such importance that it had spread over multiple social media platforms? France’s government had announced on June 15th, that teens were now being inoculated so him having COVID-19 was doubtful. Had he insulted the wrong person? Had he taken over the government? He certainly had the potential.
Everybody talks, everybody talks
What they saw stunned them, even Steph as she watched it for the 7th time. Damian Wayne was dancing. But not only that, he was dancing with a girl.
It started with a whisper
“What is this shit?”
No one verbally objected to Jason’s outburst but he was sent a harsh glare from Alfred, Dick and Bruce. Their focus soon returned to the images and videos before them. Babs’ and Steph’s phones were returned to them as the others ran to grab their own devices. They all met back at the table, comparing the posts and comparing their notes.
I can hear the chitchat
“There’s no way this can be real.”
“Jesus Tim,” Barbara rolls her eyes, “have you seen the amount of posts there are? You’d be an idiot to think otherwise.”
Take me to your love shack
“I’m with Tim, how do we know this isn’t some skit. I mean, Demon Spawn almost looks normal. That’s a matter of concern.” He almost dry heaved when he agreed with Tim. Damian couldn’t be capable of naturally exuding that amount of humanity unless there was something in it for him.
Mamas always gotta backtrack
“I was just saying Babs, that we should check the credibility of these images. For all we know they could be gorilla glued together and trying to get unstuck.” Tim cringed at his own reasoning, he really needed to either sleep (probably not going to happen anytime soon) or find his favourite coffee brand (which had been one of the first to vanish after the covid hoarders appeared).
When everybody talks back
Dick was too busy freaking out and spam messaging the youngest Wayne, to defend Damian’s humanity. The family saw this and followed suit, wanting to get information from the source.
Chat name: Alfred supremacy
BigBird: AHHHHHH DAMIAN!
BigBird: YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!!
BigBird: HAIFJDNDNFI
LittleWing: WTF HAPPENED DEMON SPAWN YOU LOOK ALMOST HUMAN
Babs: who knew the city of love would influence the brat
Blondie: they are so cuteeeeeee!
Blondie: We HAVE to meet her!
Silent-but-deadly: agreed.
Timbo: YO DEMON
Timbo: Apparently the videos are legit
Timbo: are you being blackmailed?
And it just devolved into more chaos from there, fueled by the fact that they saw Damian’s ‘Blood Son’ account appear online before vanishing once more. Dick shrieked, “I FOUND HER ACCOUNT!”
The family gathered around the eldest son, peering over his shoulder to view his iPhone 12max screen. They saw a young girl’s Instagram account. It was locked but they could see her profile pic, the girl had black hair and looked to be if Asian decent. They compared it to the videos but it was hard to see due to the hall’s lighting and the minimised facial features of the pfp. Alfred suggested that they search up her username and see who has tagged her, some might have other photos of her.
After research for awhile, the family began to get frustrated with lack of results.
Hey honey you could be my drug
You could be my new prescription
“Come on!” Jason complained, “What kind of teenage girl doesn’t post her life online?” He ignored the girls glares and went back to researching. How had the account by the name of ‘mariiiiinette’ to managed to prevent the entire Wayne clan from accessing it? Damn Instagram privacy settings. He groaned, dragging a hand down his face, “We are fucking stupid. Why don’t we just use the Bat-computer? It would be so much fucking easier.”
“It shouldn’t be used for civilian issues-“
Too much could be an overdose
“The girl could be a meta for all we know! We aren’t safe until we know who she is.” Jason points a finger at Tim, his paranoia flared up and even though he would never admit it, Jason would do anything to protect each member of his family (although Bruce is still debatable).
All this trash talk make me itching
Barbara and Tim took their usual positions as Oracle and Red Robin (who had been banned from patrol due to lack of sleep). The rest of the Batfam stood behind them either with arms crossed or still failing at researching.
Oh my my shit
“The account is owned by a girl called Marinette Dupian-Cheng. She is French-Chinese and her parents own a popular bakery. Also if it wasn’t already obvious, she goes to Collège Françoise Dupont, aka Damian’s French school.” Tim begun informing his nosy family, “But this account has been inactive for the past 6 months, which is strange due to her frequent posting schedule before hand. It seems she probably has a second account and this is her old one.”
Everybody talks, everybody talks
“Not only that,” Barbara interrupted. “There are unopened messages from other accounts that accuse her of being a bully. There is a whole Facebook page about this girl and how she has been hurting her old friends, but neither side seems reliable. The so called victims seem to be twisting the truth but there is barely any information about Marinette so we can’t disprove it either.”
“Read out some of the messages.” Bruce took a cup of coffee from Alfred and sipped it.
The main screen of the bat computer displayed a Facebook group with the banner picture being a photo of Marinette. “They are mostly complaints expected of teen girls when there is a girl they don’t like; ‘Marinette is such a know-it-all’, ‘She is constantly insulting Lila’s intelligence’. They go on to talk about how Marinette was briefly expelled from the Collège before being reinstated by the principle for a reason unknown to them.”
Everybody talks too much
“Her school reports up until this year were good. The newest one states, ‘While Marinette is a wonderful and bright student, I encourage her to settle her disagreements outside of class. This seems to only be a recent occurrence and I implore her to go to the guidance council if she is in need of help.’” A beat of silence echoes through the cave, Tim sighed. “Jason’s meta theory could be correct. She could have just recently started exhibiting her abilities and using them to get what she wants.”
“Bruce what do you want to do?”
“We’re going to Paris.”
She opened her eyes to the blaring morning light that streamed through the blinds. Her lashes still painted with mascara that refused to leave. She felt a pang of sorrow when she was removing her makeup and dress last night, she never wanted the night to end. She shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, covering her mouth when she yawned. She greeted her mother as she entered the kitchen to get breakfast.
She glanced at her phone and there was the chaos that was started hours ago and it was still occurring. It was the weekend, she wouldn’t need to deal with her classmates until Monday. But she would still have to survive her parent’s interrogation. Out of the corner of her eye she caught her mother smirking at her.
Everybody talks
“Nadja told me some interesting news about last night.” Marinette held her breath, glaring at the toaster, willing it to hurry up so she could escape. “Well,” Sabine patted her shoulder before rubbing Mari’s back. “I know you didn’t want to go but I hope you had fun.”
With that she exited the kitchen, probably going to help her father in the bakery. The ravenette stared after her, eye widened in shock, jumping when the toaster went off. Buttering her toast she went over the conversation, her brows furrowed in confusion. She had expected a ‘When do I get to meet the oh so famous prince?’ or ‘Should I be expecting a new guest sometime in the near future?’ or at least a ‘Who was that young man, Bǎozàng (宝藏 it means treasure)?’ But she said nothing.
A small smile was plastered upon her face as she changed and went down to help her parents in the bakery. Her father didn’t say anything either, he gave her a knowing smile before continuing to kneed the dough. She sat at the the store front as the cashier whilst her parents were busy making ‘Paris’s Finest Pastries’.
Her musings slowly faded as she was brought back to reality by badly hushed whispers. Two young preteens were by the bread roll casing near the door. She had seen them come in before with their parents, the girls went to the prestigious international school over in the 16th arrondissement. The one with purple hair kept whispering to the brunette, both ‘subtly’ glancing towards her. Using her enhanced hearing she listened in on their conversation.
“That’s her, I swear that’s her in the video.”
The blonde’s face soured likes she sucked on a lemon. “No, it wasn’t good lighting there is no way he would dance with someone like her.”
Everybody talks
Marinette had tough skin but their words had an impact, only a small one due to her defence mechanism of repressing emotions. She stopped listening and went back to drawing in her sketchpad, she was in desperate need of a new school outfit.
The two girls eventually came up to the counter, goods in hand. Marinette rung up and bagged their items (paper because save the turtles sksksk) in a tired daze. A phone was shoved into her face, her eyes barely adjusted to view the screen before the blonde spoke.
“Is this your instagram?” She asked in a tone so snobbish that it should be illegal from a person her age. Marinette finally was able to view the screen that was barely an inch from her face. Her old Instagram ‘mariiiiinette’ was displayed on screen, she hesitantly nodded, gaze flicking back to the two in front of her.
The blonde’s nose scrunched up and the purple goth girl squealed in delight. They soon after left the store, their conversation had devolved into ‘See! I told you’ and ‘Yeah, yeah. You were right.’
Walking to school on Monday, she had finally come down from cloud nine. She still rode the tail end of her high as she rushed along her path to her campus, she wasn’t going to be late but she sure wasn’t going to be early. She had spent the better part of the weekend designing and sewing a brand new outfit. Her new look was composed of a black cropped singlet (L'amour gagne hemmed into it and it’s straps), paired matching peach plaid cropped overshirt and a-line miniskirt. Her hair was down, ballet flats were worn and her makeup was the usual with the added edition of a rose gold eyeshadow.
Even though her face was covered in a black and gold mask, she looked hot.
She reached the campus and the whispers started again, people were still buzzing from Friday night. Her classmates, the majority of her grade and the younger years seemed to gossiping before class about the formal’s events. She couldn’t spot any of her friends or the two Gotham transfers, so she was stuck listening the the chitchat. Why couldn’t she have been late like usual?
Damian had a fowl disposition and it showed in multiple icey glares (and that was before he even reached the collège). His family had made their appearance known in Paris at 1am Sunday morning. He could have used his dorm to escape but his family didn’t have the word ‘privacy’ within their vocabulary. He didn’t want to have to pay for a lock replacement due to his brothers’ (most likely Todd with Drake & Grayson laughing at him) lock picking habit.
The Ice Prince was back with full force. He had just been... influenced by all the other couples. Yes he did respect Dupain-Cheng and he appreciated her company & pleasant conversations. He would struggle to hide a small smile at the memory of the dance, even if he denied himself the happiness of normality, he felt content when reminiscing.
“Ooo the Ice Prince is here, did he have a fight with his princess or something?” The voice seemed to mock him.
“The Disney Magic is gone. The demon is back.”
Everybody talks
At the second jeer he shot a glare at the perpetrator. Jon held his hands up in an ‘I surrender manner’, laughing as he joined Damian at his side. The two entered the school’s large foyer and looked to see if any of the classes were open yet. Sadly they weren’t, before he was wrong and the his class was plain torture but this was truely hell.
He saw Dupain-Cheng sitting alone on the stairs, drawing within her sketchpad. He wondered how a girl like her, who always seemed to be involved in other’s lives (for the better) was ignoring all of the comments about her. She felt his focus centre on her, eyes flicking up to meet his, she provided him with a small wave before continuing to draw.
Jon nudged him with an elbow to his ribs and dragged him off to the side, into the boy’s locker rooms. Jon scowled at the door, “It’s a mad house out there. You’ve heard what some people are saying right?”
“Why would I care about these imbeciles?”
Jon jabbed Damian in the chest, causing the demon to stumble. Green eyes darted from blue eyes to the tan finger. “You care when lies hurt people you care about.”
The day began to rapidly decline once the two dance partners took their seats, next to each other. They had both been placed up the back of the class and them sitting together hadn’t been a problem until now apparently. She wasn’t even safe when the teacher started their lecture, whispers and glances were cast towards them. Once the two got to biology it was better, Ms Mendeleiev was a strict teacher and was able to control the class.
Everybody talks
But the recess came. When the bell rang she slowly started packing up her equipment, Alix and Max (who she shared biology with) waited for her; she watched as the Ice Prince left through the door. She knew she didn’t need to be concerned about her friends joining in with the gossiping, if anything they would dispel people and tell them to ‘Mind their own fucking business’ because this whole situations is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.
She did receive some slight teasing from Alix about being a Disney princess, but Marinette quipped back about the skater’s fairytale story being ‘Pinknette, the Geek and the Beast’. The three met up with the other two of their group, they had just come from geography. Kim was complaining that Argentina was a state in America.
“That’s Arkansas you idiot!” Chloe shrieked, lightly hitting his arm with her white handbag. Max held his head in his hand as he approached, how had his tutoring sessions failed so badly?
Chloe turned to Marinette, a smile forming from her glare. The blonde examined the designer’s clothing, nodding. “You look like you are about to have a hot girl summer.”
Marinette’s face burned, the tips of her ears coated in red. Alix chuckled and nudged her shoulder.
Everybody talks
“Look at her, she is so desperate for his attention that she probably copied those designs.”
“Why do you think he danced with her anyways? Maybe she has something on him? I mean, she forces him to sit next to her in class, who knows what else she has done.”
What. The. Fuck.
Chloe glowered towards Lila’s posy. “We have a fucking seating plan, those cretins-“ She made a motion to storm over but was caught by the ravenette, looking back to Mari, her rage decreased from a boil to a simmer.
“No Chlo. It’s fine, it’s not worth it.”
Everybody talks... back
The group walked out to the school’s front steps, it was a mad house... a mad courtyard? Students sitting on the stairs, on the grass and standing around mingling, all of them now were staring at her. She held her backpack close to her chest (she had swapped her signature coin-bag purse for the pastel pink bag), pretending its a shield. Her friends circled around her becoming an obstacle to prevent their stares. If people were afraid of a scowling Kim then they don’t know the scorn of Chloe or Alix’s bite. And Max, sweet quiet Max.... you better hope he doesn’t have blackmail on you (he probably does), he can dismantle your life with a single anonymous post.
Rushed footsteps approached them. The group was broken apart by a rude Wayne boy, he swept Mari away from the school and the gossip crowds within. Her four friends shouted at him and he kept walking, shooting a glare at them in response. He kept pushing Marinette forward with a hand placed on the small of her back, her backpack was now swung over his other shoulder.
They ended up in her favourite alcove. She had brought him here with the other Gotham transfers for a native’s tour of Paris. It had always been her safe place to be creative.
It started with a whisper (everybody talks, everybody talks)
“My apologises for our rushed departure but you seemed to want to get out of their anyhow.” His gruff tone danced through the silence, his head still peaking around the corner; watching for any unwelcome guests.
“Thank you.” She whispered, her voice almost being carried off by the gentle wind. A genuine smile illustrated upon her face.
“We weren’t able to converse after the events of the other night. I would like to formally apologise once more for my actions causing this adverse reaction. If I had kn-“
“You don’t need to apologise!” She squeaked, hiding her eyes behind her fisted hand. Her shoulders curled inwards as she tried to make herself seem as small as possible, a side effect of her common use of her secondary miraculous form: Multimouse.
“I chose to dance with you, you don’t need to apologise for my own actions.” He stared at her with confusion. He had taken the blame so she wouldn’t need to do so herself; but she had taken it anyways. He had given her an out. Why does she always take the blame, even for things out of her control?
“But if I hadn’t danced with you then you wouldn’t have been the focus of the entire school.”
Marinette stepped forward, her eyes hardened and blazing. “Damian Friday night I went there out of obligation to my friends, I didn’t want to be there. But dancing with you? That was the highlight of my week, probably my month too. I enjoyed our time together.” Her face softened, lips twitched downwards ever so slightly. “I don’t regret anything about that night, but do you?”
He was bad at comfort. Everyone in his family avoided him when they were in need, he plainly didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t visibly upset but he sensed that she is disappointed that he apparently didn’t share the same opinion of the night. The only thing he regretted about that night was letting Jon call him a coward, but then again if he didn’t he never would have danced with Dupa- Marinette.
He picked up her clenched hand, the tension in her body alleviated at his embrace. He remembered how Grayson would apologise to Kor’i or how his father interacted with Ms Kyle. He brought their hands up and placed a kiss upon her knuckles.
And that was when I kissed her (everybody talks, everybody talks)
“I do not regret anything either—“ he cleared his throat, “In fact, I’d appreciate if we would be able to interact more, especially outside of that cesspit.”
Was he...?
It didn’t matter.
She smiled the same dazzling smile she gave him at the dance. She nodded while laughing, “I’d love that.”
Everybody talks
The two stay talking, hidden within their secret alcove for the rest of the day. She texted her parents to say she was with a friend and would be back later that night. Damian didn’t bother texting his family, Marinette knew he had to be back soon due to his dorm’s curfew.
The sun was setting at they walked back together, he did the gentlemanly thing and dropped her off at her bakery door. She could see her mother behind the register inconspicuously looking over at the two of them. Damian’s lips quirked upwards, she was satisfied with his kinda-smile.
He walked back, hands in pockets and a neutral expression upon his face instead of a scowl. He reached his door and took his keys, he found that it was already open. Damn.
His family was splayed out within his two roomed dorm. Todd and Drake were fighting over a place to sit on his bed, whilst his father sat at his desk, watching the commotion. The three of them turned to him as he enter the room, they were the only family members able to attend on short notice; Cain had a ballet audition, Gordon & Brown had concert tickets for tomorrow, Grayson had to take care of Mar’i while Kor’i was on Tamaran and Alfred stayed to ensure no one died during their night time activities.
“We need to talk Damian.” His father stood, leaning onto the desk chair. “The school called and said you had an unexcused absence for half the day. Where were you Damian?”
Damian stared into his father’s eyes. He was fifteen, almost an adult, but was treated like he was ten again.
“I was with a friend.”
“Probably the girl from the dance. Marinette, right?” Todd mocked him. Damian snapped his head in the direction of his bed, glaring at both his brothers.
“That’s what I want to talk about with you Damian. Now I don’t know her personally but from what we’ve discovered through our investigation we have some concerns. What’s happened Damian?”
The youngest Wayne’s glare shifted off of his brothers to the floor, and then finally to his father; his family sitting in wait for his answer. Straightening his posture, his shoulders clicked as he rolled then back. His statement’s tone was sure and steady, “Everybody talks father.”
Everybody talks... back
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lozzypoz321 · 4 years ago
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Word count: 2.2k
A/N: I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in so long!!! But I am quite surprised that my current 200 followers (wow) haven’t unfollowed by now but this is my 200 celebration fic even though I’m a bit late- also I’m sorry if this sucks I just haven’t written in ages! Please bare with me! Kindly proofread by @canadianhufflepuffavenger 💗
Warnings: angst, past break up
Your real dad
-
Steve tightened his grip around your draw-string bag that he had convinced you to part ways with, as you, him and your mother made your way into the tower. He was dreading the reunion with Bucky after not seeing the team for about 2 weeks. You were practically bouncing on your feet to see your real dad. While Steve was there watching you treat your dad like a hero but not even spare him a glance.
Your family relationship was complicated yet simple at the same time: you hated your mom but tolerated her, loved your dad with all your heart, hated your stepdad as much as he tried, treated Peter like your brother and Thor exactly like your uncle.
Why did you hate your stepdad so much?
Well, first of all, he pretended like he was your real dad and tried to do all of the things with you that you and Bucky did together. Second, he always stole all your moms attention and made you feel like you were alone (whether he meant it or not)
The elevator door dinged, indicating that the three of you had reached your floor where currently Bucky, Thor, Tony, Natasha and Sam were hanging out, waiting for your “family”. The others were in the kitchen, trying to get a sneak taste of the food that had been ordered.
“Dad!” You yelled and raced up to the super soldier, he broke out into a grin and picked you up off the ground to invade you into a bone-breakinghug. “Hiya doll face.”
You grinned back at him and got down from his arms briefly to run across the room to retrieve your drawstring back so you could show your dad your new spiderman action figure that had been bought by your cousin Peter.
“Look! Look!”
He smirked slightly at your excited demeanour as you held up the toy as high as you could while jumping up and down for him to see. Once he’d figured out who the character was, you had already gone running off to see what Wanda and Vision had baked in one of the many kitchens.
“Hey Buck” Steve acknowledged as friendly as he could, it wasn’t that the two ‘friends’ hated each other, but there was definitely some tension in the room as the two sat parallel. Tony cleared his throat and mentioned something about having a cough as he quickly left the room.
“I better see where he got off to” Natasha and your mother said at exactly the same time, not wanting to experience what they thought was about to go down.
“Hi Steve” the older soldier greeted back, not sure what the intentions of the conversation were exactly. In the tower, the history between both soldiers and your mother was known but not really spoke of- Bucky dated your mother for quite a while (almost four entire years), and got her pregnant with you, but- as everybody was sure to know- all good things must come to an end- and the two broke up on good terms. That was before Steve Rogers himself got involved at a certain billionaire’s party when they realized they were (and this is in your mother's words) “meant for each other.”
“I’m erm, here to speak to you about something.” As if the awkwardness present in the room was no longer enough before, by now it was almost too much. Thor and Sam took the most obvious hint and left the room in search of something else to occupy their time.
“Well, you’re free to speak-“ Bucky was interrupted by the loud sound of laughing from behind the wooden door and almost instantly after a hushing sound. The two men had completely different reactions to this, Steve was utmostly confused, both eyebrows scrunching together, while Bucky’s face held a small smile. He knew exactly who was trying to eavesdrop and it just proved how much Steve did not know his stepdaughter from the fact he didn’t immediately know. “(Y/N),” he called out, the humour evident in his voice, “Parker, we know you're out there.”
“Awww, Peter you gave our secret identities up!”
By now Steve had caught on to the two of you and laughed lightly, trying to cover up the fact that his only chance to ask Bucky his question alone, was interrupted.
The wooden door creaked open, revealing Peter, dressed up in his spiderman suit for dramatic effect and you with a bandana on, which you thought made you look like a ninja and you held your action figure tightly in your left hand.
“(Y/N), you know it’s rude to eavesdrop” Steve scolded you, trying to be firm. You ignored him and shrugged your shoulders before going to follow the scent of Chinese food.
“Doll,” your dad stopped you “don’t ignore people, you know not to do that” he stood up from his spot on the sofa and began to also make his way to the kitchen, you right beside him muttering a small “okay dad.”
Steve tried not to let his heart sink as his best friend walked away. He would just have to try and get Bucky alone at another point in the night. If he didn’t get an answer, then he would have no use for the small box that was sitting in his trouser pocket.
“Bonjour,” Clint greeted the two of you as you both arrived for food, the island set up with enough plastic plates for everyone (Tony couldn’t be bothered with hiring people to wash normal, expensive ones multiple times a day)
Your mother smiled at you from the other side of the kitchen, but she was immediately confused when you didn’t smile back. The reason you had not, is because you had a feeling you knew exactly what question your stepdad had for Bucky and did not at all like the sound of it.
“Fries?” Bruce offered, tilting the box of food towards you. You nodded gratefully and grabbed a handful. The conversations at the table were mixed; Thor ranting passionately about the food at his home planet, Tony mumbling something about not even being hungry anyway (you thought he was just being salty since he didn’t get his Shawarma), Bucky and Sam having a silent argument across the table, and Peter was busy singing Christmas songs in his best Santa Claus voice.
“Have a holly jolly Christmas, and in case you didn’t seeeee” Natasha rolled her eyes dramatically at the teenager making everyone laugh.
“Hey don’t get annoyed at me! Everyone loves Christmas!”
You used to love Christmas before your parents separated and you weren’t allowed to spend the holiday with your dad.
“I don’t like Christmas,” your dad shrugged half mindedly while taking a sip of his soda. Peter looked at him like he had two heads and exclaimed in shock, “that impossible!”
“It ain’t kid,” Bucky chuckled while your mother shifted in her seat uncomfortably, realizing the reasoning.
While you worked your way through the pile of noodles, Thor’s incessant ranting came to an end, and the teenager had seemingly run out of songs, the group of superheroes decided to hang out in the living room and watch a movie before you, Steve and your mother had to go home.
“Which one?” Nat asked the room while holding up two movies, the nightmare before Christmas and the corpse bride. Both Halloween movies, neither particularly scary.
“How could one have a nightmare on the day before Christmas? Surely that is against the rules of the Holiday Christmas, that is based on happiness?” Thor asked, earning a quizzical look from you. “Stop tryna act like Shakespeare big man” Tony laughed while grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it all into his mouth.
Steve ignored the billionaire, and while no one seemed to be paying attention he directed his attention to Bucky, swallowing nervously. “Hey Buck, can I speak to you for a sec outside?”
Confusion spread over the soldier’s face for a split second before complying and getting up from the couch with Steve as discreetly as possible as to not raise suspicion from the rest of the team and you.
“What’s up?” He asked once they’d reached the hallway outside, he didn’t know what was up with the younger man but he could easily tell that he’d been acting nervous around himself and your mom.
“Um, I have a question, you don’t have to say yes or no or anything-“
“Your ranting.”
He stopped and thought for a second, wondering how to put it. “I know it’s been complicated recently, and I know this might make it worse with all your history with (Y/M/N) and (Y/N) but I really do love both of them and since (Y/M/N)’s parents passed a while ago, there’s no one to really ask for their blessing so I guess I’m here to ask you, can I have your blessing to propose to (Y/M/N)?”
Bucky stood emotionless for a second, not knowing how to react. He wasn’t sure whether to be happy for Steve and support him or to be angry. He had both reasonable attributes for each option but was cut short when he heard the sound of a door banging against its hinges on the floor above.
Both of your dad’s eyebrows scrunched together, who was that? Everyone in the tower knew not to do it because Tony despised it, and everyone with a brain knew that when Tony got annoyed, bad things happened.
Then almost instantly after the door entering the living room revealing an awkward Loki “I’m sorry to interrupt this conversation but your daughter slash stepdaughter, just ran upstairs in tears so if you could quickly wrap this little moment up, it would be greatly appreciated”
Bucky’s heart stopped, why were you crying?
He and Steve completely forgot about their previous conversation and quickly headed upstairs, nearly running Peter over in the process coming from the toilet. But just as they reached the door where you normally stayed when you came for sleepovers, Bucky stopped and put a finger to his lips.
“I think I should go in.” Instead of arguing, and saying that it would be good ‘bonding time’ to get you to like him, Steve silently agreed and let your dad go in.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he gently closed the door behind himself, instantly catching sight of you sat on the carpeted floor, furiously wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie.
“Hey, hey, don’t hurt yourself,” he took ahold of both of your wrists and set them down on your lap, “why’re you crying doll?”
Tears continued to stream unapologetically down your cheeks, you didn’t know how to tell him. That you had snuck out of the living room to see where the two had gone and then eavesdropped into their conversation, and once hearing your stepdad (who you did not like at all) was going to become a permanent part of your life, ran off crying.
“I don’t wanna talk about it” you shook your head, making him sigh. “Please tell me, I wanna know why. You trust me right (Y/N)?”
The simple nod was all he needed, yet his heart still ached. Seeing his only daughter in tears and didn’t trust him enough to tell him why? It was heartbreaking for him. “I don’t want him to marry mom,” you quietly admitted, “the only reason I’m still allowed to see you is because she thinks I still need a father figure, so now he’s gonna be here forever I won’t be- I won’t be able to see you anymore.”
He sighed deeply, trying to find a way to comfort you. “You will, I promise. I’ll always be apart of your life doll. No one can ever take you away from me because you're my daughter and I love you so so much, m’kay?”
You sniffled and wiped the final tears from your cheeks. “Okay.”
Before you could both get up and return downstairs to finish the movie, Bucky stopped you and lifted you up to whisper something to you.
Once he had finished you pulled back and nodded hesitantly, realizing that you should put your grudge behind you and face a fear.
Your dad and you returned outside, Steve waiting patiently while resting on the wall, gently smiling at you to make sure you were okay.
“Go on doll,” Bucky quietly urged, making you take a deep breath and just go for it.
“I give you my blessing to marry mom.” Steve’s heart skipped multiple beats as his brain tried to process what you had said. You’d finally accepted him into your life?
He broke out into a grin, trying to form words to thank you without seeming like this meant the absolute world to him. “Thank you (Y/N). I appreciate it so much.”
Bucky was proud of you for taking a leap and letting Steve into your life when you were scared. He realized at that moment that even if you did have a dad and a stepdad at the same time, he’d fulfilled his role already.
Taglist: @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever @hera-the-writer @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @js3639 @am3l1a-24 @bonkybarnes107 @ilovemarvel-andcats @sapphireplums @deannawallacee @keenmarvellover @garbage-potato @mollbt @spookybooisa
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lostmyshadesanon · 3 years ago
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Happy Birthday @teyvat-writer !!!
From 🦊 Anon (guess not so anon anymore!!), but asks don't let you put the read more cut, and I wanted to tease you by posting this early and seeing if you can hold out till your birthday! Also if I don't do it now I WILL forget to write it. This is just the set up because I'm not in the mind space to write the p*rn part of this yet, and my mind won't really let me write pwp.
So Hydro!Archon!Male!Reader x Childe
Part 1 (Meetings)
NSFW-ish only a few lines are dirty.
You were unaware of what he would become.
You became aware of his existence the first time when he hovered between life and death drowning in the abyss, but fighting like a feral animal to survive. You thought it fitting to award him a part of your power compressed beautifully into a palm sized jewel to assist in his struggles. You were not so kind to help him directly, but hopefully this would do.
He faded in and out of your awareness over the years as you ruled over Fontaine. First his struggles as Ajax to escape the abyss, then Tartaglia to survive till adulthood, and finally Childe the harbinger. It grated slightly that one of your favored would work and worship under another archon, especially that conniving snow witch. But you were to busy to truly care ruling an empire and defending your gnosis was exhausting enough.
But maybe you should have paid closer attention to your favored as your favored paid attention to you.
First as Ajax singing worship and praise in the guise of tears and breathless thank yous for being granted the power to escape the abyss, then as Tartaglia through sweat and carefully burned food scraps for surviving another winter with his family, after all a vision holder who can summon fresh water is in high demand during the harsh summers of Schneznia, high enough to buy produce in the dead of winter, finally in blood as the 11th Fatui Harbinger, and careful maneuvering so that when her Majesty the Tsarista demanded your gnosis HE was the one sent to collect it.
He had done so much in your name to make it worth the favor you granted him that allowed him to see another day. Though he felt bad about stealing from his patron, he knew if it was any other harbinger you might not live through the removal of your gnosis.
You must be strong as you were an archon, the thought of a good fight sending a shiver down his spine, salvia flooding his mouth, and blood pooling in his groin, but you just looked so delicate. He just wanted to bend you over and break you on his cock, until nothing but drool could spill from your mouth, and his cum drip from your hole.
You were a tiny thing closer to the Balladeer in size or that wimpy wind archon Signora dealt with, but both individuals were forces to be reckoned with so Childe knew he had to be careful. These thoughts filtered through his head as he patiently waited in line to meet you at your palace, in the heart of Fontaine, for a "diplomatic" meeting with the Fatui.
Dark blues eyes, as deep and dangerous as the ocean depths, tracked the other Fatui members squeezing through the crowd and covertly setting up the talismans for a barrier seal. Once he entered the building it would be sealed off, the others thought it was in the case of a fight.
Childe's lips kicked up roughly bordering between friendly joy and bloodthirsty lust. He did hope you would put a fight but he couldn't wait till you would be spilling things other than blood. His name, his cum, or your own Childe wasn't picky.
Watching the last Fatui agent give the sign that the barrier was ready to go Childe couldn't help but give a true smile to the receptionist as he gave his name and reason for his appointment. Right on time.
You couldn't help but feel nostalgic as a familiar flash of ginger hair entered your courtroom. Your favored one had grown up well from the half feral boy you had granted a vision to. He had grown tall, taller than you, filled out with sleek muscles granting him the grace of a large predator, and most importantly he reeked of abyss and danger. As they saying goes if you gaze to long into the abyss it will gaze back into you as well. It truly was the abyss you stared into when gazing at the haunting depths of his eyes.
Granting him a smile much more intimate then with your normal subjects, you exchanged pleasantries. You offered a seat at the large conference table and you both sat down and started discussions on Fatui involvement and presence in Fontaine.
After formalizing many documents and going over contracts and trade you brought up an incident that might jeopardize the Fatui's presence in your city.
"Some of your men have been harassing the common people on multiple occasions. We have many signed witness statements of these events across Fontaine, and the people are demanding some sort of gesture from the Fatui as compensation." You sigh deeply after making the statement, and passing your favored a stack of said statements.
Childe wasn't really surprised he HAD told his subordinates to make a bit of trouble just in case he needed a reason to set up more meetings with you in an effort to retrieve your gnosis, and claim dominion over you. His thoughts slowed for a moment before a sly grin split his face, and a delightful thought entered his mind.
The sly smile turned playful as he careful tilted his head and batted his eyes. "A gesture such as a harbinger willingly submitting to their city's archon?"
Mischief brought a light to his eyes as your own carefully studied his body. You had remarked on his physique earlier but now skimming over the bulging but slim muscles and flashes of pale skin revealed by his dress uniform you felt heat build in your stomach and your mouth drying. "Yes." you rasped before coughing lightly and continuing, "Yes, a show of willing submission from such a high ranking member to their city's archon would be a good enough gesture."
Childe carefully tucked his growing fangs away behind his lips making sure his smile didn't slip and become more lustful at your agreement. He had been able to brush off and ignore his own arousal throughout the meeting only feeling twinges as he stared at your soft lips or beautiful eyes, come roaring back at the rasp in your voice and the answering hunger in your eyes.
Childe carefully leaned back head tilted cockily. "Well if you don't have any other appointments, and we send our people away with these important documents, we can get started on that "show of willing submission"." Childe tilted his chair back before spreading his hands out.
"Unless you enjoy an audience." Blue eyes carefully trace over your form showing the hunger inside them. "I know I wouldn't mind."
He watched a blush crawl up your neck, though your face remained mostly empassive though your eyes revealed your desire, before you sent your servants and his agents away. Seeing a carefully hidden hand gesture Childe knew the barrier would go up as soon as they left the room and knocked out all your guards.
Childe's chair hit the ground with a resounding clack. He smiled, Check mate.
*****
Don't worry they're be a part 2 with the p*rn I'm just not in the right headspace for that yet.
Happy Birthday 🎉🎈🎉🎈 again @teyvat-writer
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leafs-lover · 3 years ago
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If he's lucky I'll let him join
Part 7: Yes. No. Maybe…
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Series Masterlist
A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this out. This is the second last chapter, the finale piece will be out Wednesday evening.
Warnings: Swearing, drinking, smut fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids) oral (male receiving), angst
Word Count: 4200
May 15
“Shhh baby don’t want them to hear,” he whispers. His fingers dig harshly into your hips only cause you to moan louder.
“Don’t worry man I got it,” Fred says, pulling your jaw down and shoving his dick inside your mouth. Your breath is pulled from your lungs and your moan get caught around him while he starts to thrust in, his salty precum landing on your tongue.
“Hey,” Steph greets, wrapping an arm around you. “Y/N right?” she questions, giving Fred a hug.
“Yeah,” you confirm, removing your shoes to add to the growing pile by the door.
“Come in, some people are out back but almost everyone is down the hall.”
Fred’s hand is on your back, gently steering you down the hall. The regular season ended and they have a few days off before the start of round 1 against the Canadians. With this time Mitch and Steph are hosting a barbeque for the team and their families. A chance for everyone to have some fun and take it easy before the playoffs start and everything gets crazy with games and practices.
You met a portion of the WAG’s last year, but it’s been over 16 months since you’ve seen them. And there is also a bunch of new players which means new face and names to learn. Though not everyone on the team has come out today. Fred brought you as his date, but Auston is here as well. It’s the first time you have been in the presence of both men without having sex or being able to touch, even flirt with Auston. But it’s only for a couple hours.
The sun is shining, temperature over 20°C, no wind and barely a single cloud in the sky. It’s an amazing day for early May. Auston has on simple navy t-shirt, his arms on full display. Tattooed biceps and the chain poking out under the hem of his shirt, backwards ball cap on his dark curls. He smiles upon seeing you, but continues on his conversation with Mitch and William.
You’re thankful for the laughter and music that disguises the moan slipping through your lips. It’s soft and subtle, something most people but wouldn’t pick up on, but Fred does. He wraps an arm around your waist, lips gently brushing against your forehead while he chuckles lightly.
“Want a drink skat,” he hums fingers gently playing with your belt loop. His hand slides down and he briefly and softly gives your ass a squeeze. “Frederik,” you scold into his chest trying to not draw attention.
“So that’s not okay, but you eye fucking Auston from across the room is,” he mumbles into your ear. Burying your face into his chest, you try to allow the heat from your cheeks to fade before you finally pull away.
Fred has known for almost a month about you and Auston. Apart from his comments when you were pinned between him and Auston’s door, he hasn’t said anything to you. You didn’t expect him to say much that night, but you thought he would bring it up at some point over the last 4 weeks.
After the threesome he seemed somewhat upset. The Leafs had a week at home, and he seemed somewhat distant. He didn’t call you on the Friday or Saturday, on the Sunday he sent a couple texts. When you saw him on Monday he apologized, said he had a setback in his recovery; that he thought he’d be back playing by that point and was frustrated by it, but everything seemed to be fine after that.
A few days the Leafs left on a ten day road trip out west. Fred joined the team, and true to his word Auston asked you to watch Felix. 10 days of walks, kisses and snuggles. Dog sitting also came with you sending him multiple pictures a day and even a few Facetimes, but you think those Facetimes were more an excuse for him to talk to you.
You contemplated keeping him forever, but reluctantly handed the leash back when they returned. Auston of course paid you with multiple orgasms; just the two of you. Since they returned from the road trip you have had a couple nights with just Auston, some with just Fred, and multiple threesomes. Apart from their road games you have spent 2 maybe 3 nights alone in your own bed. Every other night has been at one of their condos.
It’s an easy and fun night at Mitch’s.
It’s not a crazy party like the previous year. Everyone is drinking at a slower rate, spending more time on conversations than on party games. Mitch spends most of the afternoon over the barbecue, Steph busying around in house refilling drinks and setting out some food. There is a buzz as everyone eagerly awaits the playoffs. An excitement abound, the hope and potential that comes with the post season. But not just any post season, a Leafs – Canadians matchup.
It’s a good afternoon, and you’re enjoying yourself. But it would be better if Auston wasn’t shooting you winks from across the room, constantly looking at you over the rim of his glass. He is doing absolutely nothing, just existing, and you barely can contain yourself.
Every wink, every smirk, every breath he takes your panties dampen even more.
If that wasn’t enough Fred is never too far from you. When you’re talking to Steph he was beside Auston grinning at you. When grabbing some veggies and dip he softly trailed a finger over your forearm. Later when talking with Tessa and Morgan, he came up beside you and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. His cologne and soft touch, Auston’s lingering glances and boisterous laugh echoing through the room are enough to make your knees give out. The two of them getting you very excited for what is going to happen once you leave later tonight.
Walking up to the drink table you feel a body approach you and your body stiffens, hairs on the nape of your neck standing up. “Having fun y/n,” Auston mumbles in your ear.
“Mhm,” you respond lightly, trying to distract yourself but his woodsy cologne overtakes your senses.
“I like your dress,” he hums, reaching over you for some ice, even though there is an abundance in his glass already. Your breath hitches when his forearm ever so slightly grazes your breast; his lips curling up in the process. Glancing to your side you spot Fred, engaged in a conversation with Mitch but still keeping a watchful eye on you.
Tipping his glass to you, you almost fall over. Fumbling to set your drink down you mutter something about the bathroom. Stepping in the bathroom your entire body is hot and clammy. Knuckles go white from clenching the cool marble, staring down to the sink you take some uneasy breaths.
Trying to gather yourself you realize it’s a lost cause, you won’t get any relief until you leave. Until you get back to their building and they provide you with some. You and Fred have snuck away at a party before, but this is not the scene. That night involved a lot more alcohol, the guests were loud but you could barely hear them over the echoing music. Today is slower, calmer. People are more so enjoying their time together with the occasional drink.
And sneaking off with Auston would be even worse. People could notice your absence, but it adds the worry of people finding out your sleeping with both Fred and Auston. They might think it’s a polyamorous relationship, or they might judge you for your decision to have a threesome. Either way you don’t want to deal with the repercussions.
Just another couple hours. A couple hours making idle small talk and then you can ride Fred, while Auston’s dick is deep down your throat. Just a couple hours until the ache between your legs is filled. So you take a deep breath, throw some water on your face and step into the hall flattening the wrinkles on your dress.
Starting the trek down the hall you pass by an open bedroom and a large hand grips your forearm pulling you inside. Catching a glimpse of the tattoos you feel hot breath fan over your neck. His large body pressed up against you has the slick building between your legs.
“Auston,” you moan, craning your neck slightly, “we can’t. Not here.”
“You think you can dress like that baby girl and get away with it?”
It’s a relatively simple summer dress. White with thick 1” straps and a straight squared off neck. The bodice is tight, ending on your thigh with a simple floral design. “God I wanted to bury my cock in you since the second you walked through the door.”
Sucking hard on your exposed skin he kicks your legs apart, slowly drawing two fingers up the inside of your thigh. Starting above your knee, slipping under the hem of your dress until he slides them under your thin lace. “Oh baby I think you’ve wanted this all day too,” he groans coating it in your dampness.
Pressing your fabric to the side two fingers dance around your entrance, drawing circles on your clit. A whimper slips through your lips and you feel his fingers curl inside you. “Aus,” you groan, through a few thrusts of his digits, “there’s people.”
Your mind is swirling, bouncing between desire and reason. Your cheeks heat, from both the alcohol and the deviant act that looms ominously in the air. You know this is a terrible idea, there are fifty ways this goes wrong but his large frame pressed against yours, his mouth sucking and nipping your neck, fingers spreading you open more and more each thrust, you can’t say no.
“We gotta be quick,” you push his chest making him take a few steps back. Walking to the edge of the, you pull your dress up, fabric bunching at your waist.
A deep seeded chuckle fills the air, followed by his belt buckle opening and jeans being shoved down his thighs. Bending you over the end of the bed, his hands are on your hips his length sliding in your heat. Trying to contain your moans you bite down on your lower lip, the taste of copper flooding your mouth. But it doesn’t help.
“Ssh, baby girl, you gotta be quiet,” Auston chuckles softly against you after a particularly hard thrust, your hands grabbing a fist full of the duvet. “Wouldn’t want anyone to find out we’re in here, would we? Catch you with my cock buried deep in your pussy while Freddie is outside.”
“Oh fuck—” His thrust hits just right, pelvis perfectly angled against your g-spot. Your belly swells with heat and your eyes flutter shut, unable to keep them open for a second longer.
“Couldn’t wait for me, huh?” A voice mutters from a distance as the door closes. Your eyes go wide realizing Auston never locked the door, anybody could have wandered in.
“Y/N really wanted to get started,” Auston slows his hips but keeps his cock deep inside your walls, gently rolling his hips.
“Yeah, y/n,” Fred chuckles. When you turn your head slightly to look at him you see he has a dark grin plastered on his face. Walking towards you he winks and Auston digs his hands into your waist, pulling you until you are standing; your back against his chest.
“Is that true baby?” Fred tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “you couldn’t wait?”
Staring at the smug look on Fred’s face you get the idea this was planned by the two of them. Whether they planned it once they got here or days ago it all seems very convenient. Before you can focus too hard on it, Auston slowly pushes forward, not stopping until your ass hits his thighs. His hand begins to lightly trail across your stomach, grazing your nipple in the process. Biting your bottom lip you struggle to supress a moan, which only makes him laugh.
“I asked you a question baby” he repeats, fingers hovering dangerously close to your clit.
“Yes,” you gasp following a deep thrust. All you want to do is wipe that smug expression off his face, but before you can Auston’s mouth is on the back of your neck.
“Shit,” you moan, causing Fred to laugh after a particularly harsh thrust.
“Shhh baby don’t want them to hear,” Auston whispers. His fingers dig harshly into your hips only cause you to moan louder.
“Don’t worry man I got it,” Fred says, pulling your jaw down and shoving his dick inside your mouth. Your breath is pulled from your lungs and your moan get caught around him while he starts to thrust in, his salty precum coating your tongue.
You have no time to react before both men are setting fast paces. Your nails find Fred’s thick thighs for stability trying not to gag as he hits the back of your throat. One of Auston’s hands snakes around to your clit, at the same time Fred is pulling your hair away from your face. You can feel your orgasm quickly approaching, the familiar tingling in your core.
“Fuck princess,” Auston grunts, beginning to get sloppy. Moaning around Fred’s length, he uses you for his need. Chasing his high both of their hips snap at the same time, pushing you closer to your high.
“Your mouth feels so good skat,” Fred groans as Auston’s thumb starts pressing harder into your sensitive bud seeking out your high. The sounds you’re making can only be described as pornographic. Forgetting there is a house full of people meters away, you fall victim to your pleasure.
**
Auston helps you to stand as Fred brings a towel and wipes his cum from your chin and chest. But before he can clean between your legs Auston swats his hand away. Gripping the fabric of your dress he pushes it down your sticky thighs. Lips ghosting over your ear his voice is dark as husky he groans, “I want you to think of me as you feel my cum drip down your legs while you talk to our friends.”
You shudder at the thought, but Fred’s lips are quickly on yours. The little bit of oxygen you had in your lungs is ripped from you, the kiss is full of passion and hunger. His hands trail down your body before he finds your hands, “ready?” he mumbles through a breath.
“Yeah,” you reply, smiling against his lips.
Giving your hand a light squeeze he pulls you to the door, when it flings open, Steph and Audrey on the other side. They both blink staring at you, but it’s not until their eyes see Auston readjusting his pants behind you their jaws drop. Shifting their gaze between you and Fred and Auston they are trying to process if they actually are seeing it right.
“I am so sorry,” Steph blurts out, her cheeks going red. Stepping back they close it behind them and you can immediately hear them cackling on the other side.
“Fuck,” you breathe, your voice barely audible.
“Its fine,” Fred squeezes your hand, your heart rate building.
“WHAT?” you snap bringing your gaze to meet his. “How can you say –“
“Hey,” Auston calls out. Coming in front of you he tilts your head forcing you to stare are him. “It’s not a big deal, people have sex y/n.”
“But –“
“No, no buts,” he uses a thumb to wipe away some mascara that had run down your cheek. “You will be fine, everything will be fine. Now were gonna go back out there and-“
“I am NOT going back out there,” you interject.
“Yes we are, leaving will only be worse,” Fred says softly. “Everyone will talk the second we walk out the door.”
“We’ll stay for like an hour, and then go back. You can cuddle up with Felix. We’ll watch whatever shitty chick flick you want, do tequila shots, whatever you want after. But right now we have to go out there. We weren’t doing anything wrong, we have no reason to hide or be embarrassed.”
Mulling over his words you sigh knowing they aren’t going to budge, “okay.”
A half smile tugs on Auston’s lips and he leans in placing a soft but brief kiss on your lips. His mustache tickles your upper lip but he pulls away and heads out of the room first. Waiting a minute, allowing you time to compose yourself, Fred pulls you out of the room.
Walking down the hall you can hear Mitch laughing at something outside. Fred drapes an arm over your shoulders and gently presses his lips to your head, smiling down at you. Your body becomes numb, if it wasn’t for Fred tugging you outside you would be frozen in place. Feet unable to move.
Walking outside you feel like all eyes are on you. They aren’t, but it feels that way.
Auston, Will and Morgan are off to the side laughing about something. He shoots you a grin before continuing on with his conversation. Fred pulls you to one of the outside couches. Trying to put you at ease he slings one arm around your shoulder, you tucked tightly under his arm.
You can smell his overpriced cologne, you can feel his fingers gently trailing over your shoulder and you can hear his voice. But none of it pulls you out from your trance. Your walls feel like they are tightening around you and you are quickly losing oxygen.
“Y/N,” Fred squeezes your shoulder.
“Hmm?” you head snaps to see him.
“Mitch asked if you wanted a drink,” Fred smiles with a soft smile.
“Probably thirsty after your earlier activities,” you hear someone sneer, glancing to the side you see Steph, Audrey, Bianca, along with a few other WAGS. Some seem confused by the comment, but the vast majority have narrowed eyes and grins plastered on their faces.
“Uh no, I’m okay,” you lie. Your throat is dry, not from Fred’s cock slamming into the back of it, but from your anxiety building. You would love a drink, but what you really want is to leave. You just need to get away. It feels like everybody has eyes on you, you keep thinking you overhear people whispering your name. Fred carries on as if nothing happened, chatting with Mitch, laughing at something Zach said. Maybe it’s his way of downplaying it, or it’s his way of trying to reassure you, but it doesn’t work.
It’s a quiet drive, Auston and Fred chatting in the front. You melt into the backseat, staring aimlessly out the window. You don’t even recognize where you are until you are parked in the underground garage. The second the car stops you are gone, heading to the elevator.
Pressing the up button about fifty time the doors finally open and you step in, both men behind you. Staring to the ceiling you blink a few times, trying to suppress your tears.
“You coming?” Fred asks when the door opens to his floor.
“In a minute,” you sniffle. “I want to see Felix first.”
“Kay,” Fred smiles lightly. Taking a small step forward, he hesitantly leans down and places a warm kiss on your cheek before stepping off the elevator.
**
“I have couches,” Auston laughs seeing you on the floor. Felix curled between your legs as you slowly pet him, warm tears rolling down your cheeks. You don’t reply, continuing to slowly rub Felix’s fur. Hands grab your legs and he pulls you against his chest and making his way to the couch.
Placing you on the couch, he falls beside you, pulling you against him. That’s when it happens, the floodgates open. His grip tightens on you while your chest heaves as you dissolve into a git of tears. He tries to calm you, talking is a soothing tone in your ear. Choking on your tears, Auston just holds you, your hands clenching his shirt.
**
“Hey,” Auston smiles, handing you a steaming mug. You don’t know when you stopped crying or how long you were asleep for, but the night sky is flooding the room. Apart from the stove light and one lamp in the corner the entire room is dark, empty, a feeling you know too well.
“Thanks,” your voice cracks slightly. Sitting beside you, he pulls you up onto his lap, your head falling on his shoulder. Felix takes the opportunity to curl up beside you, he head beside your hand so you can slowly scratch his head.
“Don’t worry,” he finally says after a few minutes of silence. “They aren’t allowing anyone at the playoff games for now, so you won’t have to see them for a bit.”
“That doesn’t –“
“It does matter, they will forget about it by the next time you see them,” he runs his hand up and down his large sweater hanging off your frame. You want to believe him, but the pit in your stomach only gets bigger by the second. Biting the inside of your cheek, you take a few deep breaths. Silence falling over you.
“What are you doing this summer?” He asks, trying to pull you from your stupor.
“I don’t know,” you sigh, not interested in his small talk. “I had a few interviews these past couple weeks, if I get it then the last 2 weeks of August I’ll be at the school planning. Spend some time with friends, and family maybe, I guess. I don’t know.”
“Sounds exciting,” he laughs.
“Mhm,” you agree. “You?”
“I’ll be in Arizona once the season ends, but hopefully that’s not for a while,” he replies. “But just hang out with friends, family. I think my mom wants to go on a family trip somewhere.”
“Nice,” you breathe out.
“Yeah,” he trails of slightly. “Maybe you could come down for a weekend.”
“Yeah, maybe,” you dismiss. You are barely in the mood to talk, let alone make plans for two months from now, “if the border opens.”
“If not I have my Visa, I could come up we could go somewhere for a weekend. Whistler, Banff,” he suggests.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“My sisters would love you,” he chuckles.
Silence once again falls on you. You assume Auston believes you are just upset from earlier, and you are. But mainly you are mulling over his offer. You don’t do that. You don’t go on dates. You aren’t dating. You have sex. Yes you cuddle, you talk, and you have sleepovers. You watch movies, and have dinner, you have even confided in him. But everything leads to sex.
“Why would your sisters love me?” you ask harshly. “Have you told them about me?”
“No,” he laughs. “Just that you’re awesome, I can’t see the not liking you.”
“But why would I meet them?” you bite, pushing off of him. Felix’s head pops up briefly from the commotion before he lies back down beside Auston. “Why would you introduce me to your family? Why would you introduce your family to someone you are just fucking?” you bite.
“Y/N seriously?” he questions, eyes grazing over your face while his body stiffens. “You’re not just someone I’m fucking, at least not to me. I don’t think you ever were someone I was just fucking.”
Standing up he grabs your hand closing the gap between your bodies. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel this?” he questions softly. You can’t match his gaze, knowing you will crumble under it. You can’t process what he is saying because it’s a lot. You never thought about a relationship with Auston, maybe it had crossed your mind once, but you have been so caught up in your feelings for Fred, his feelings for you, that you never considered Auston.
“I uh-“ you bring a hand up to wipe away a stray tear. “I gotta go,” you whisper. Pulling away you practically run to the door.
“He doesn’t want you,” he calls out as you reach the door. Letting go of the handle you turn around, Auston still in the middle of the living room, the exact spot you left him. “You’re going to see him? Fred?” he queries, sensing your next move. Your face contorts and you take a deep breath preparing for his next words.
“I know him, he’s not interested like that, not anymore,” Auston says lightly.
Anymore.
That words stings. When did Fred stop losing interest? Was it when you had the first threesome, or the second? When did he stop wanting you, and how didn’t you notice?
“You’re wrong,” you say yanking the door open and heading down the hall. He is wrong, it has to be. Needs to be.
67 notes · View notes
maplecornia · 3 years ago
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chapter 7
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𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.04K
𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?
𝔞/𝔫: so yeah, i've decided to start uploading every day for this story until i'm caught up with the chapters i have. i'll tell you guys when i'll go back to posting once a week.
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language
tags:@kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne
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You almost faint in disbelief.
It's him, it's him.
Jeon Jungkook.
That's his face, those are his eyes, and that is his body.
Real, and right in front of you.
Heart pounding in your chest, you find yourself unable to breathe, your chest constricting and your mind going blank. You're faintly aware of the towel crinkling in your hands, and your feet propelling you backward, away from him. If he notices, he doesn't show it, seeming almost as frozen as you are.
You would know him anywhere.
The golden maknae of BTS, the one who’s made you laugh over and over multiple times before, the one who's good at everything, the sweet and handsome Jeon Jungkook.
Even after all these years, he still looks the same.
As he looks up at you, his hair falls in strands across his forehead. It's his natural color, a deep midnight black, with brown undertones. It looks as though he tried to do it in the morning, but a little too much dance practice has destroyed his efforts. There’s a slight sheen of sweat on his skin, complimenting the smooth soft complexion and making him shine as though he were a drop of moonlight befallen on the earth.
As he blinks, long feathery eyelashes cast small shadows on his cheeks, complementing the dark brown color of his irises. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words form, the same curve to his lips making it seem as though he were smiling even the tiniest bit your way. In the back of your mind, you recall how those lips would spread whenever he smiled, transforming his sweet face into one similar to that of a bunny.
As he moves even the slightest bit, your gaze travels to his jaw and you swallow hard.
Even his body is the same.
He's still tall and strong, sure and trained muscle rippling beneath his slight build. The coffee has even helped in this aspect, his shirt sticking to his chest and accenting his toned pectorals and sculpted abs beneath. You can see it in the muscle of his thighs, showing through his jeans, and the strong structure of his forearm. It even shows in the veins on his hands.
He looks the same as the day he left with the rest of BTS, leaving you behind.
At the thought, you sadly look away.
You had forgotten those days, forgotten the emptiness you felt in their absence.
You had forgotten about them for a while.
Perhaps that's the worst part.
What are you going to do?
You just bumped into Jeon Jungkook, probably the most beloved and adored member of BTS. Spilled his coffee all over him with not so much as a drop falling on you, and then proceeded to gawk at him.
You can't get all starry-eyed over an idol.
Especially not now.
Inwardly, you remind yourself that he’s just another person. He's just another human being, just someone else who lives on the same planet as you do.
Yeah, he's just another globally renowned person.
Half of the world's population is either in love with him or wanting to be like him.
Not to mention he's incredibly talented, with a great personality and heart of gold.
Nothing to worry about.
Glancing up at him, you can see he seems to have forgotten about you and is currently trying to rub the coffee stains off with the edge of his sleeve.
Smiling softly, you remember the towel you had retrieved moments ago and look towards him, swallowing hard.
“Mr. Jeon Jungkook?” your voice is soft, almost inaudible, and you silently curse yourself. Seriously, how much further are you going to embarrass yourself? Nevertheless, it draws his attention and he immediately looks up. At the sight of his eyes on you once more, your heart skips a beat.
“Here, you might need this.” Noticing the towel in your hands, he takes it from you, your fingers brushing against each other for a split second.
Almost as soon as he takes it from you, you snatch your hand back, trying to ignore the rapid beating of your heart and the faint blush rising in your cheeks. He smiles at you, politely, before nodding his head and murmuring what you think is a thank you, but you can't tell.
Looking away, you spy the mess on the floor.
Eyes widening, you immediately drop to your knees, pulling out another towel and starting to clean up the marble tile. It’s the least you can do after making a mess such as this. As you scrub up the floor, you can hear people whispering behind you and are faintly aware of a janitor in the far corner gazing at you in amazement.
You don't care, this is keeping your mind off of him.
This is distracting you from reality, at least for a moment.
But Jungkook has other plans.
You don't notice it when he pauses from cleaning his shirt and stares at you on the floor. Nor when he kneels and peers at you almost curiously. You don't even notice as he waves away a few staff members who inquire if he’s okay, or if he needs any help. You don't spy the faint smile playing on his lips as you dutifully clean up your mess.
Nor do you see when he takes the towel you gave him and cleans the floor beside you, setting the empty coffee cup to the side.
When you glance up from your work, and his face is there, just a few inches away from yours, you blink, startled.
His eyes meet yours, just like before, but this time they aren't as scared. This time, they’re friendly, almost nervous, but welcoming as they hold your attention once more. He smiles, softly, before reaching forward and taking the towel from your hand.
Inhaling sharply, you flinch away, surprised by the touch.
At the movement, his eyes falter in confidence and he looks away, shutting down once more. Only, you don't want him to shut down again. Frantically, you search for words, anything to say to him.
“I...” As he looks up at you, it's as though all your butterflies are gone and your mind is no longer blank. Things become clear and you know what you have to say.
“I’m sorry.”
At your words, he seems taken aback, as though he weren't expecting that. He blinks, surprised and you continue.
“I didn't see you behind me, and I should've apologized earlier or at least said excuse me or….” Trailing off, you sigh. Rambling won't do you any good now.
“The point is, I’m sorry.” You murmur, softly, before bowing your head to him.
You can't see his face or the way he looks at you tenderly, completely awestruck by your behavior. You don't see the soft, kind way he smiles before he playfully knocks on your head, and you raise it.
“It's alright, you don't have to apologize.” He reassures you and you flush deeply at the sound.
Jungkook’s voice is soft and almost melodic, as though he’s always ready to break out in song, exactly how you've heard it on videos and during concerts.
And yet, now that you're hearing it in person, it's a bit different.
You can hear the soft rumble in his throat as he speaks, a tiny hint of his Busan dialect mixing in with his words. Every syllable is straightforward and clear, every word having a purpose.
It's slightly raspy but refreshed, like the feeling after you've just had a good workout or have just accomplished a really hard dance you've been practicing for a while.
But what's most important is that at the sound of his voice, unexplainable emotions run through your heart.
You have to look away or you're afraid he would surely detect the rapid beating of your heart, the chaos in your mind, the way your body has suddenly gone weak.
Looking away, you spy the discarded cup on the side and lunge for it, startling Jungkook a bit. He dodges you, his eyes widening slightly. Pulling back you smile a bit sheepishly before standing and giving him a small smile.
“Wait here.” You instruct before turning and hurrying to a trash can.
As you look up after throwing away the coffee cup, you notice a vending machine and spy a canned coffee cup on one of the slots.
Glancing back at Jungkook, you watch as he offers the soaked towels to the janitor who has come behind you and is currently mopping up the mess.
Turning back to the vending machine, you pull out your wallet, taking out a couple of won and inserting it into the slot. Pressing the numbers of the coffee can, you receive your change, bending down to retrieve your prize and turning back to Jungkook. Taking a deep breath, you pocket your wallet and hide the coffee behind your back before walking back over to him.
As you reach him, he greets you with a friendly smile, and you return it, almost nervously.
“Here.” You say, and he takes it from you, peering at it in slight confusion. “To replace the other one.”
“Thank you.” He murmurs, opening it and taking a drink. As soon as he tastes it, he pulls back, overdramatizing how delicious it is. At the sight of his expression, you snort, chuckling softly.
“It's really good!” he exclaims, and you laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. He laughs as well, a soft chuckle that warms you from the inside out and makes your smile grow wider.
You open your mouth to say something else, but a voice behind you cuts you off.
“Jungkook!” at the sound, Jungkook looks behind you, and you turn around.
A staff member is standing near an elevator, holding it open. She frantically points to her watch, a phone held desperately between her shoulder and ear. She seems distressed as though she’s late for something, and as you think about it, you realize she probably is.
You couldn't meet with Kim Namjoon due to a meeting he had with BTS, and Jungkook happens to be a member of BTS. He was probably on the way when you bumped into him.
“You should probably go.” You mutter, a bit disheartened at seeing him leave. “It sounds important.”
As you say the words, you turn to him and he seems a bit down himself. He nods to the staff member before looking at you and smiling once more. A bit bashfully, he holds out his hand, grinning that bunny smile as you take it.
“Thank you for the coffee, miss. It was nice to meet you.” He says politely, shaking your hand softly before bowing his head to you.
“You're welcome, I’m sorry again, by the way.” You chuckle softly, and he shakes his head at you almost in disbelief.
“I thought I told you,” he murmurs, letting go of your hand and starting to walk past you. However, as he reaches your side, he pauses, whispering in your ear...
“You don't have to be sorry for anything.”
At the feeling of his breath against your skin, you shiver, a slight blush exploding on your cheeks. You refuse to meet his eyes, unwilling to let him see your blush.
So you don't see him smirk at your reaction before turning away and heading to meet the staff member who has started to pace in anticipation and worry.
As soon as he leaves your side, you turn, watching him as he walks away. When he reaches halfway to the elevator doors, he pauses. As though he could feel your eyes on him, he turns his head, glancing over his shoulder at you.
Smiling, he meets your eyes, raising his hand in the air to say goodbye. Letting out a small laugh, you roll your eyes before doing the same.
After a moment, he turns once more, completing the distance and vanishing behind the elevator door, your eyes unable to break from him the entire way.
And once he’s gone, you hold the same hand you waved goodbye to him with, close to your chest.
As though that would calm the rapid beating of your heart.
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𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: pretty spoicy no? (¬‿¬)
chapter 8 here
check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters
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xoruffitup · 3 years ago
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Annette: The AD Devotee Review
So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!
Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.
While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.
A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.
To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!
The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 
And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!
The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.
Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!
Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….
I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.
But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.
Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.
While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.
Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.
His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  
Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.
In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.
Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.
(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.
Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.
The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.
Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺
I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.
Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.
Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”
Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.
On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.
Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.
...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.
I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3
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Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)
*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*
Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)
The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.
The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.
Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.
Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)
Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.
…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.
BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)
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