#might post some more stuff about it tomorrow - some close ups and such of the drawing. and some notes about my thought process
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I Walked Into The River
The Tree of Shades, fed by a spring deep in the Shivering Isles' underground, will not surrender its secrets to one who has not earned them. The erstwhile Hero of Kvatch and Sheogorath's current grudging Champion has little left to prove and even less to lose.
I wrote this piece for the summerfest prompt "mirror" and am posting the full thing for the free day! it's my take on the doppelganger bit of that one quest in the shivering isles, which always struck me as having a lot of unrealised potential (especially in conjunction with running themes of duality the questline already has). I've had this idea for a long time now and this event finally got me to actually write it out, which was a lot of fun! if you're inclined to check it out, please do - it would give me much joy :)
#might post some more stuff about it tomorrow - some close ups and such of the drawing. and some notes about my thought process#while writing#god knows I made enough notes about it while doing it#it's not vignettes!! by the way!!! I finally wrote something that wasn't!!!#however it is a sequence of unreal mindscapes for the character/s to argue through. you can't win them all#READ IT. YOU HAVE TO. tbh I've looked it over too many times to even know if it's any good but I don't care you have to read it anyway#and then you can tell me!#thanks! much love! time for bed now!#tesfest24#the elder scrolls#tesblr#tes#oblivion#oc tag#pax#sheogorath#(present only in spirit. it's already dead by then)#(but it's a crucial step of the apotheosis. so. counts)#shivering isles#fay writes#my writing
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Success, my dad told me today that he listened to Flood at work, and TWICE at that. Could it be that the TMBG propaganda is also working at last
#he says he likes istanbul and dead or rather the backup vocals on it more specifically#and that it's pretty funny but also varied and fun#i was starting to think that everyone around me would just find them too 'weird' you know. so this is a pleasant surprise#meanwhile my brother who's actually supposed to be going to the show with me still hasn't listened to them!!!#at this rate he's going to be the only person standing close to the stage who doesn't know a single lyric#while everyone else sings along. kind of a sad vision#but anyway i told my dad to listen to john henry next and i hope he likes it. he likes 'harder' stuff like hard rock and metal#so this should be right up his alley#it being an undeniably more rocking album than most of tmbg's other stuff#omg lol just as i'm finishing writing this i got a very exciting email that i can't really talk about publicly. concerning some other band#and some sort of delivery??? maybe???#damn today has been a fine day and tomorrow might be even better (i might be posting something regarding that when the time arrive#s)#goosepost
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Well, since there is something I'd like to try making that I have to do as digital art, I have just ordered a drawing tablet.
I once had a cheap one and didn't like it, but since I do really want to try making what I want to make, I ordered a nicer one that was on sale (because if I'm gonna spend that much money, it better have good savings while I'm at it lol.)
So wish me luck when it comes. lol.
#the other one which I've lost the pen for was like the cheapest Wacom ones available#I just picked out one with a screen which I know was one of the things that bothered me as someone that gets up close#watercolor is still probably gonna be my main painting thing#but I just would like to also try to do more stylized stuff for my OCs#and idk lol#what I want to make though would have to be digital though#and originally I was gonna just go with a free program#but the more I've thought about it the more I kind of just want to spend however long it takes making my own#which maybe I'll post my process of trying to make it lol#right now I have a headache but I might work on the design tonight#and maybe some of tomorrow#des says stuff
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heartbeat conquest — day 0.
SYNOPSIS. you’re sucked into a reverse harem otome game, and there’s only one goal— say the right things to conquer as many pretty boys as you can. PAIRINGS. tomorrow x together x reader. TAGS. social media! au, modern fantasy, reverse harem (of fucking course), romance, humor, a whole bunch of weird dynamics maybe HUAHAHAHAHAHHAAH. inspired by the manhwa with the same title, “heartbeat conquest.”
it's pink.
no, literally. it’s all pink. one moment, you see the headlights of a van coming straight at you. the next moment, you open your eyes and see nothing but pink. pink floor. pink ceiling. pink walls (if there even are walls. you’ve been walking around for what seems like ages but you’re yet to bump into one).
you never thought that the afterlife was gonna be so bubblegum-y and barren.
but then again, you never expected that you’d be bringing your phone to the afterlife, either.
ding!
now, what in the otome isekai bullshit is this crap?
seriously, what the hell? is this actually real? you stare at your phone, eyes narrowed in confusion and suspicion as the notifications keep pouring in— the same text over and over again prompting you to unlock, to start whatever this thing meant by conquest.
this really must be some weird post-death fever dream (can you dream when you’re dead?) but whatever mindfuckery this is, there’s one thing that’s clear to you.
if unlocking meant getting out of this pink-stained hell, might as well give it a damned shot.
your thumb presses the screen. you swipe up.
ding!
all your senses are swallowed by that dreaded shade of sickly sweet, bubblegum pink—
ding! ding! ding!
— and next thing you know, you’re now in an unfamiliar room, pink skies leaking through the sheer curtained window, trinkets strewn about the lived-in bedroom—
ding!
—with five new messages on your phone.
“—the natural talent to be loved and adored by all.”
ding! ding! ding! ding! ding!
how do you start your conquest?
NOTE. i have no idea what the fuck this is going to be, but let’s all have a blast anyway!!!
this is a choose your own adventure. click on the link above and answer the form to progress with the story. you’re the MC of this world who had just been sucked into wherever the fuck this is and have no idea who these five mystery men are, so just to your best in responding with the context that you currently have (none). after this one, more context will be provided, i promise BWAHAH.
honestly the only way to win this and get a “good ending” is to get a correct read of the boys’ characters and give the right responses— and if you’ve read a bunch of my stuff, you probably have a good idea on how i like my male leads HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA.
i will synthesize all submitted replies and move forward from there. the form will close once i get enough responses. this is just a little experiment that i’m doing and i have no idea how this gonna turn out HHAHHAHAHAHAHAH still, i hope you guys will participate!
DAY 0 | DAY 1
heartbeat conquest. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.
#heartbeat conquest#tomorrow x together x reader#txt x reader#txt fanfic#txt scenarios#choi yeonjun x reader#choi soobin x reader#choi beomgyu x reader#hueningkai x reader#kang taehyun x reader#yeonjun x reader#soobin x reader#beomgyu x reader#taehyun x reader#huening x rader
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
What Could Have Been
Summary: You've reached the age you can be chosen. Little do you know your future has been planned out from the start.
Pairing: Philip Graves x reader
Word Count: 7, 358 words
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, a/b/o, Omegaverse, Alternate Universe, AU of an AU, suggestive content, mentioned predatory behaviors towards a minor, Philip Graves is a major creep, reader has a set age for plot (she is an adult), dubcon (pushing noncon at the end) but it's muddy water because a/b/o, kissing, touching, lingerie, panic, coercion, virginity and purity culture, fade to black because I couldn't write smut for this
A/N: I am...very sorry for this. Honestly I've been debating posting it but I wrote 7k words and I don't want that to go to waste. This is very...dark. A lot is implied but there's still some fairly disturbing content because of those things. The reader is 18 in this because of plot, but it still feels very...icky. Definitely recommend reading Chapter 34 before reading this to understand the context. Not necessary to read. Just an AU what if kind of bit for the story.
Also if you're finding this and you've never seen my stuff before, Hi! I highly recommend reading Cherry Red, Crimson Blood first before this for context otherwise some things might not make sense. I suppose it could be read as a stand alone but still, context is nice to have
What Ifs Masterlist | Directory
“You’ve been chosen.”
You had barely managed to get a bite in of breakfast when one of the staff members had pulled you away and led you to the director’s office. None of the omegas at FIOT particularly like him. He’s a small man, middle aged and balding. His scent is...not pleasant. Nutty with undertones of wet animals and whatever he ate for his meals that day. Every omega in the institute dreads being called to his office, being closed in with the offensive smell he permeates.
You would have been experiencing that same disgust had it not been for your shock at his words. “What?” You breathe, eyes wide.
“You’ve been chosen.” He repeats, folding his hands on his desk over a thin file.
“So soon?” You ask, forgetting all decorum and manners you’ve had drilled into your head for two years.
It’s your eighteenth birthday today. You just became old enough to be chosen a matter of hours ago.
“This pack is very eager to claim you as their omega.” He says. “One of their betas will be by tomorrow to interview you.”
Your heart flutters in your chest. While it’s shocking you were chosen so soon, this is what you had hoped for. Two years of training and drilling perfection into your head did pay off. You’ve hardly been on the available list more than a few hours and already there’s a pack interested in you. Something about it has a chill running down your spine, tickling at the base of your neck. You brush it off as shock at this all happening so soon.
“You may return to breakfast.” The director says, going back to his paperwork.
“Thank you, sir.” You say, exiting his office.
It doesn’t feel like your feet touch the floor as you walk back to the mess hall, your body floating as you make your way through the halls. If tomorrow goes well, this will be the last day you spend in this building, this prison you’ve been confined to. They’ll be here as early as they can be tomorrow, if they’re this eager to choose you.
The thought has something prickling in the back of your mind still.
Who are they? Who is this eager to choose you? The must have known about you before you even showed up in the registry as being available. You’ve heard rumors that institutes will supply information about omegas to packs for the right price under the table. Information on omegas that aren’t old enough to be chosen.
You wouldn’t be surprised if FIOT was one of those institutes. The packs that get their omegas here are packs that can pay a hefty price. There’s usually a waiting period while background checks are done and information has to be verified and packs have to interview with the director before omegas themselves can even be interviewed by the pack. You’ve seen it take weeks before.
Whoever the alpha of this pack is...they knew about you before you became available.
“What did the director want?” One of the omegas in your age group asks as you take your seat at the table again. Amanda. She cried for five days when she was brought in.
The others at the table lean in close, like you’re about to reveal some big secret.
“I’ve been chosen.” You tell them. The words almost seem like a foreign language on your tongue.
They all cheer happily, getting looks from the wardens around the mess hall.
“That’s amazing!” Chelsea says, wrapping her arms around you to squeeze you in a tight hug.
“So soon?” Amanda asks as the congratulations die down.
“Yeah.” You say. “They’re interviewing me tomorrow.”
They all share looks, and you know they’re thinking the same thing you are.
The rumors are true.
“Impressive, isn’t she?” The warden for your dorm group says, as if you’re not sitting there too. She’s responsible for overseeing the small group of eight omegas you’re a part of. She’s the most knowledgeable about the omegas under her watchful eyes, and it’s standard practice for the wardens to sit in on the interviews between the pack beta and the omega being chosen.
“Quite.” The beta says, looking over your thick file. Bryan, he’d introduced himself as. He’d shaken your hand, something you hadn’t been expecting. He acknowledged you as existing right away, something that doesn’t happen often in the stories you’ve heard about interviews, stories from omegas that had made it this far in the process, but were rejected in the end. “Excellent scores, quite extensive essays.” He says, flipping through the file. He’s not really looking at it. You can see his eyes just scanning the pages. He already knows. He came into the building with his answer.
Whoever his alpha is has already seen your file.
He closes the file, pushing it forward on the table. He’s looking at you. You can feel his eyes on you. Yours are lowered respectfully, no matter how badly you want to stare back at him.
“To be honest, my alpha already made his decision before I got here.” Bryan says, leaning his arms on the table. “Your profile was enough to convince him.”
“So, you’d like to move forward with the process?” Warden Jameson asks.
“Yes.” He says, nodding. “She’s going to be a perfect fit.”
You glance up at him, a warm smile on his face as he stares at you. It’s really happening. You really have been chosen.
The next hour is a flurry of paperwork and signatures. None from you, of course, but from the beta of your new pack. The paperwork would be sent to your new alpha to sign off on and to finalize the decision once you meet him. No one has ever been sent back after that point, yet you can’t help the nervous flutter in your stomach. What if they don’t like you after all? What if they made a hasty decision and regret it as soon as they meet you? What if you mess everything up?
You follow Bryan and the director towards the entrance to the building, something you haven’t seen since your tour after your arrival. It’s off limits to omegas, several locked doors standing between them and freedom.
Or more like to keep others out.
There’s someone at the front desk as you pass by, and you turn to look out of curiosity. It’s a middle aged woman with blonde hair, dressed in a business suit. “Kate Laswell, here for an appointment with Director Jones.”
You don’t get to hear anything else, ushered out into the world by the director. You’ve heard how giddy he gets about omegas leaving from staff, though you supposed that’s because it’s extra money in his pockets. The more omegas he can match and get out of FIOT, the more the government pays him.
“I’m looking forward to hearing how she’s settling in.” The director says to Bryan as he hands off your small bag of meager belongings.
“Of course.” Bryan says, setting it in the front seat of the car waiting out front. “My alpha will be in touch.”
“Good.” He shakes Bryan’s hand before turning to you. “Good luck. I expect the best from you.”
“Thank you, sir.” You say, dropping your gaze out of respect.
Bryan opens the car door for you and you slide in, smoothing out your skirt. You’re still in your uniform, and you won’t be able to change until you get to where you’re going. If they let you change. It’s important they remember where you came from, where you were taught the things you’re supposed to know, where you were trained to be the perfect omega. As if they could forget where they paid for you.
Bryan drives away from the institute, taking you away from the place that’s been your home for the last two years. It’s the first time you’ve been outside those walls since you were forced in, ripped away from your home the day after your presentation. You’ve thought about your family many times over the last two years. Where are they now? How are they doing? What have your siblings been up to? Have any of them presented as omegas too?
Maybe your new alpha will let you contact them again.
It’s wishful thinking. Most don’t. Not the kinds of alphas that buy from FIOT.
“Nervous?” Bryan asks, glancing at you through the rearview mirror.
“Yes, sir.” You say, smoothing your hands over your skirt. You’re projecting your scent without even realizing it. “Sorry, sir.”
He smiles. “I don’t blame you. I’d be nervous too. Don’t worry, though. You’re going to a good place.”
Despite his well meaning words, you can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation. Is it a good place? Or is it only a good place by beta’s standards? He can’t possibly know, he can’t possibly understand, unless there’s other omegas.
You’re almost excited by the thought of being around other omegas in a pack. Having that chance to have friends and bond with others like you who know. Those who understand.
You can’t help but stare as Bryan pulls into the parking garage of a very nice hotel. The cars in the parking garage are some of the most expensive you’ve ever seen. You’re not surprised, given the types of alphas that choose omegas from FIOT. Rich, important alphas looking for trophies to wave around.
Look at me, look at my perfect omega.
Bryan opens your door for you, helping you out of the car. He’s holding your bag in his hand, using the other to guide you towards the elevator. His hand is warm, even though your back is beginning to sweat a bit. You’re really nervous now, but you try to keep your scent under control.
Your new life is about to begin, the life of a claimed omega.
Unless they don’t like you.
You have to do everything in your power to make sure they do.
The elevator ride seems to take a lifetime as you go up to a high floor overlooking the city. You’ve never stayed in a hotel this nice before. You’ve never even been in a building with this many floors before.
Bryan leads you down the hall to a door, using the keycard to open it. He gives you a reassuring smile before pushing it open and guiding you through. It’s a suite, possibly the nicest hotel room you’ve ever seen. Bryan leads you to the small living area, the man you assume is your alpha seated on one of the couches. He’s sitting there casually, ankle crossed over his knee, his arm thrown over the back of the couch. There’s a grin on his face, your eyes widening as you stare at him.
“Phil?”
It comes out before you can stop it, all training and decorum leaving as you stare at him in shock. His smile widens, showing off perfect white teeth and dimples. He’s a bit older now than he had been back then, but it is him.
“Hi darlin’.” He says, pushing himself up to stand. “Been a while.”
Ten years or so. He was your dad’s best friend while he was stationed in Texas. He was at your house constantly, sitting around watching sports and standing in the backyard while your father barbequed. He was always friendly to you, always sitting just a little too close, always hovering. You hadn’t thought anything about it back then. You were too young to understand.
Now you do.
You drop your gaze as he approaches, trying to recover from your shock. You still have an impression to make, a role to fill. Calloused fingers cup your chin, lifting your face back up. You stare up into Phil’s bright blue eyes, just as friendly as you remember them being.
“None of that.” He says softly. “We’re familiar with each other, aren’t we?”
“Yes, sir.” You say, swallowing thickly.
A small smile tugs at his lips before he releases you. “Come on, make yourself comfortable.” He motions to the couches. “We've got a few things to discuss.”
Nerves twist in your stomach as you move to the couches, tucking your skirt under you before you sit. The couch is comfortable, your body sinking into the cushion. It's far more comfortable than the chairs and benches at the institute. He takes a seat right next to you, draping an arm across the back of the couch behind you.
His fingers curl under your chin again, turning your head so you're looking at him. Those bright blue eyes scan your face, taking in every detail.
“Those pictures didn't do you any justice.” He says. Your file is sitting on the table in front of you. “You've always been a pretty little thing.” His thumb traces your jaw, your stomach churning. “Look like your mom more than your dad. That's certainly not a bad thing.” He smirks.
He holds you there for a moment staring into your eyes. Something tickles in the back of your mind as he stares at you, something instinctual like a warning. He releases you, dropping his hand back onto his lap.
“It's good to see you again.” He says, the fingers of the hand behind you playing with the strands of your hair. “A lot has changed, hasn't it? I got old, you became an omega. I always knew you would. Your temperament wasn't right for an alpha. Always so calm and eager to please. You weren't rowdy like your brothers. Always such a sweet little thing.” His fingers trail over the back of one of your hands where it's draped in your lap. Your stomach clenches at his touch, something churning inside you, something you haven't felt since the last time you were around him. “You didn't deserve the way he treated you. It wasn't your fault for becoming what you are.”
He's talking about your father.
“How did you-”
“I was the one he called.” Phil says simply. “Raging and carrying on about his useless child presenting as an omega.” He shakes his head. “So I pulled some strings, promised some favors, and got you into FIOT immediately, with the stipulation that you would be mine as soon as you were old enough.” He grins. “Now here we are!”
You swallow thickly, staring at him. “It was you?”
He nods. “Had to make sure you'd be taken care of until I could come yet you myself. Now you’re here.” His arm wraps tighter around you, the hand that had been brushing yours dropping to wrap around your thigh. You stare up at him as he leans down slightly closer to you. He smells just like you remember. Woody with the rich scent of chocolate underneath. “I will take care of you.” He says, looking pointedly into your eyes. “You'll want for nothing and you'll be happy.”
Will you?
You break away first, your eyes dropping to stare at the hand that’s gripping your thigh, fingers indenting the skin through your tights. It feels like a threat, a silent reminder of the power dynamic between you, something he won’t say out loud. He’s an alpha, you’re only an omega. He has control over you, he can dictate your entire life now that you’ve been chosen by him. You belong to him, just as he’s wanted.
He’s been waiting longer than two years.
“You hungry?” He asks, his entire demeanor suddenly shifting.
You are hungry. You had left the institute just before lunch, and you had barely been able to eat breakfast because of the nerves. You nod, deciding telling the truth is better than to try to lie to him early on. “Yes, sir.”
He gives you a grin. “You don’t have to be so formal. You can call me Phil, just like old times.” He finally releases you, leaning forward to grab a tri-fold menu off the table. “Pick whatever you like.” He says, putting it in your hands. “I’ll be right back.”
He gets up from the couch and you watch him go before turning back to the menu. The prices make your stomach churn. Your family wasn’t necessarily poor, but with so many of you, you certainly weren’t taking very many vacations very often. Your family moved around so much there wasn’t much of a need to take vacations either.
You’re not even sure what to do, looking at the menu. What was acceptable? What if you ordered something too expensive. With a hotel room like this, you’re not sure you could order something too expensive. You’re not even quite sure what Phil does anymore. You remember overhearing a conversation he had with your dad about joining MARSOC before he disappeared from your lives. Is he still involved with the military? Did he leave and enter a new career field, one that allows him to stay in places like this?
You might never know. It’s not your job to know things like that.
You just need to know how to serve your alpha and take care of him, follow his orders and give him pups when he desires them. Be a good omega and do whatever it is he wants. Your wants don’t matter, only your alpha’s.
“Decide what you want?” Phil asks, appearing in front of you again.
You jump in surprise, having been so caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed him approaching. You’ll have to break that habit and fast. “Yes.” You say, even though you hadn’t even read through the menu in its entirety.
You try to stop your hands from shaking, picking out the first thing your eyes land on. You’re not even quite sure what it is or if you’ll like it. You needed an answer and you gave it to him. Just exactly what he wanted.
That is your job, after all.
Give him exactly what he wants.
The bed looks plush and comfortable, larger than you’ve slept on in a long time. The beds at FIOT weren’t too terribly uncomfortable, but you’ve gotten so used to sharing a room it seems strange to be sleeping on your own.
That’s not the only reason it feels strange.
“Are you not going to-”
Phil cuts you off before you can finish, not even needing to know what you were going to ask. “No. Not here.” He says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s for when we’re at home. Besides,” He smooths a hand over your hair. “You’ve had a long day.”
He stares down at you for a moment, and you almost think he’s changing his mind, deciding he can’t wait until you’re back in Texas. Instead he takes a step back, turning to the dresser your bag had been set on. There’s other shopping bags next to it, things you hadn't even noticed when you walked in.
You had been too focused on the bed.
“Bryan picked up some clothes.” He turns back to look at you, his hand trailing down your back. “As cute as the uniform is, I’d rather you be comfortable.”
You can see it in his eyes. He’s picturing you in it, and not standing before him. It makes your skin crawl.
“Get some sleep.” He says, moving his hand from your lower back. “We’ve got an early flight tomorrow. You need anything, I’m across the hall and Bryan’s next door.”
You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Thank you, Phil.”
He grins down at you, dimples indenting in his cheeks. “Of course, darlin’.”
You stare at the door for a minute after he closes it, holding your breath. You half expect him to come back in, change his mind and decide he’d rather do it here. He could barge in, force you down on the bed and you wouldn’t be able to do anything. You’re not supposed to do anything.
Good omegas do as they’re told. Good omegas don’t fight back.
You wish the door had a lock on it.
You jolt awake as you’re jostled in your seat. You let out a quiet sound, not quite sure where you even are, much less what’s going on.
“Just a bit of turbulence.” A voice says, pushing your head to rest against a shoulder again.
Right. You’re on a plane heading towards Dallas. You didn’t realize you fell asleep, your head resting on Phil’s shoulder. He smells like scent blockers, all three of you do. The plane is a cocktail of scents, the chemical burn of scent blocker mixed with the ugly mesh of too many scents in one confined space. Not everyone has the decency to use scent blockers while traveling. You’ve always hated planes for that reason.
You stretch your legs out as much as you can, your knee bumping the tray lightly. It had been lowered, you assume, at some point while you were asleep. Your book is sitting on it, the book you had been reading before you fell asleep. It’s the only one you own, a worn out copy you stole from FIOT’s library during your first week and never returned. The cover is faded and nearly falling off, the pages yellowed and stiff from how many times it’s been read over the last two years.
You’d had a brief discussion about it before you descended into silence, Phil promising you all the books your heart desires once you get to his home. Your home.
It’s your home now too. You’re no longer attached to your family, no longer attached to the institute. Phil is your world now, and you exist solely in his sphere. You’re dependent on him, and once the claim is made and the paperwork is filed, you will be his forever.
There won’t be any going back.
Phil will never change his mind.
The plane jostles again and you grip the arm resting on your leg out of instinct.
“Easy.” Phil shushes you, his lips brushing your forehead. His hand closes around yours, squeezing it gently. “Haven’t flown much, have you?”
“Twice.” You say, your fully awake brain realizing you’re still leaning against his shoulder, but you’re not sure you should move. He obviously likes it if he let it happen. Will he get mad if you try to move? Would he reprimand you on the plane, even if you are quite spaced out in first class?
He hums, resting his cheek on your head. “We’ll go on lots of flights together. I’ll take you all over the world.”
Would he take you to see your family again?
They were friends once. He has to at least know where they are and what they’re doing. Would he do that for you? Or is he going to keep you isolated as expected to prevent those bonds from forming again. Your only bonds should be with him and his pack. Not your old pack that you left behind for a reason.
You don’t know anything about his pack.
You know he has a beta, Bryan, his most trusted beta, from the looks of it. How many others are there? How many other alphas and betas? Is he head alpha, or is there someone else? You can’t imagine Phil not being in charge. He always seemed to take command of a room, even with other alphas. Even with your dad.
Are there other omegas in his pack? Or will you be alone, surrounded by alphas and betas?
Can you even ask him? Or is he saving that for later, when you’re at his home. Would he get annoyed if you asked? Would it ruin his plan that he obviously has laid out?
Your name being said brings you back to reality, your head tilting to look up at Phil. He’s staring down at you, his eyebrows raised.
“Welcome back.” He says, and for a second you wonder if you fell asleep again. “Lost in your head there, huh?”
You swallow thickly. “Yeah. My instructors said I have a lot of strengths, but my one fault is I think too much. Sometimes they’d say I’m sucking all the thoughts out of the room. Though, I think that was less of an insult towards me.”
Phil chuckles. “Got a lot of things going on in that head of yours. Just don’t let it get you too distracted. Hate for something to happen to you.” He presses a kiss to your forehead again as the plane begins its descent.
His words almost feel like a threat again, like a silent warning that something will happen if you don’t stop thinking so much. Will he try to fix that habit for you? Will he try to break you of that? Good omegas don’t have to think, they know and they act. An omega with too many thoughts is too independent. Alphas don’t like independent omegas. They want someone to listen and do as they're told, not question their orders.
You can’t help but sense the silent threat that radiates from him, the undertone of danger that has warning bells going off in your head. He’s been nice and polite and caring so far.
How long will that last once you’re in the privacy of his home?
It’s a nice neighborhood. Nicer than you’ve ever lived in, at least. The houses are big, the cars parked outside are nice, the lawns are pristine. It’s all very picturesque, it all feels very...manufactured.
Phil drives to the end of the cul de sac, pulling into the driveway of one of the two houses facing the rest of the street. There’s an American flag hung up on the porch rustling with the soft breeze. It’s warm outside, something you haven’t missed. It’s been years since you’ve lived in Texas, ten almost. You had been eight years old when your father received his next change of station orders and your family packed up and moved again.
That had just been shortly after Phil disappeared from your family’s lives.
Phil pulls into the garage, parking the SUV next to a rather expensive looking classic sports car. You stare at it for a moment, questioning just what Phil does and how much he makes from doing it. You’re not sure you want to know.
You fumble with the seatbelt as Bryan opens the door for you, blinking yourself out of your haze. He offers a hand and you let him help you out of the car to not seem rude. Phil gives you a small smile as you approach him.
He cups your chin, staring down at your face. “Jet lagged?” He asks, his thumb stroking your jaw before letting you go.
Jet lagged, confused, uncomfortable, unsure. All of the above.
“Yes.” You nod.
“Come on. I’ll give you a tour and then you can nap.” He says, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
He opens the door into the house, unlocked, you note. The inside is nice. Clean, pristine, staged looking. You’re not sure if anyone even lives in the house. You can’t help but wonder if Phil bought this house just for this moment.
“Cleaners come twice a week.” He says as he leads you around the first floor. “This whole space is yours, except for this room.” He says pointing out a door at the end of one hallway. “This is my office. Door’s always locked at all times. No one is allowed in besides me. You see anyone trying to get in, you tell me right away. Understood?”
You nod. The idea of what could be behind that door has a shiver running down your spine.
“Good girl.” He says, booping your nose. “Now, for the best part.”
He leads you upstairs, giving you a quick tour of guest bedrooms that don’t look like they’ve been touched, bathrooms far too clean to have ever been used. Why he needs so much space is beyond you.
No, you know why.
He leads you down to the end of a hallway, a door looming in front of you. You know what’s behind it. It’s what’s been clawing at you since the plane landed, since the drive from the airport, since you stepped foot in Phil’s home. Your home.
It’s nice inside. Clean, well organized. It looks like a stage in a movie. The bed is large, larger than necessary you think. The comforter is a deep navy with nothing but the necessary amount of pillows on it. There’s a chair in the corner that doesn’t look like it’s ever been sat in. A TV hangs on the wall across from the bed and a dresser sits between two doors on the far wall. The closet and bathroom you assume. It’s spacious, but not comforting.
That’s your job.
“Don’t worry, you can add your womanly touch to it later.” Phil says, stepping up behind you. You can’t hide the way your body tenses as his hands slide up your arms. His breath fans over your ear as he leans down, pressing his face against your neck. “We’re going to make good use of this room.” His lips brush your throat, tongue darting out to lick your scent gland. He hums appreciatively. “Sweeter than I remember, those strawberries.” His arms wrap around you, pinning your back against his chest. “We were made for each other.”
Your stomach clenches as his scent intensifies, blending with yours. You try not to panic as his lips drag up the side of your neck. There’s no stopping him. There’s no convincing him to wait.
He presses his nose into your hair, taking a deep breath in. “Get some rest.” He finally releases you. “I’ve got some things to take care of, and I don’t doubt the girls will want to take you shopping.”
“Girls?” You frown, turning to face him.
“The other pack omegas. They’re excited to finally meet you.”
Oh. You haven’t even thought about the pack or how big it is or its dynamics. Everything has happened so quickly, there’s been no time for discussions like that. You suppose you should have that conversation soon. Though, it’s been a long day already and he’s not wrong. You do need some rest.
‘A good night’s sleep is essential for omegas to do their jobs effectively. No alpha wants a whiny omega.’
He brushes his hand over your hair, giving you a soft smile. “Take a nap. You look like you need one.” He presses a kiss to your forehead before he leaves, closing the door behind him. You stare at it for a long moment, half expecting him to change his mind, but you can hear him going down the stairs. You can hear everything in the silence of the house. It’s almost too quiet after the constant noise of the institute. There’s always someone talking, moving around, making noise. Even at night it was never truly quiet.
Now the silence is almost loud in your ears.
It won’t be silent forever.
You stare at the bed, half tempted to just curl up on the floor. He would be mad if you slept in one of the guest rooms. He’d know immediately. You’ll have to brave the bed. Better to do it now than when you have no choice.
“Look at you!” Hands squeeze your arms. There’s so many scents floating around you, yet it’s comforting. You’re among your own again. “Oh, you’re just a baby aren’t you?”
Natalie, her name is. You had been introduced in a flurry of excitement, and you had lost track of most of their names. Doesn’t matter, you’ll learn them all eventually.
Her alpha is Osmond, ‘Oz’ as he’d told you to call him, Phil’s second alpha. Not necessarily a large man, but highly intimidating nonetheless. You’d guess Natalie to be in her 30s, though you’ve never been good at guessing ages.
“How old are you, sweetie?” She asks, squeezing your arms again. She’s trying to comfort you in your obvious state of overwhelm.
“Eighteen.” You answer, staring up at her.
Something flashes across her face, but it disappears as quickly as it arrived. “You are a baby.” She wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, we’ve got a lot to cover and we’ve got some errands to run.”
There’s a lot of omegas. Phil had finally broken down the pack and its dynamics over a late lunch, even introducing you to a few members on your way to Oz’s house. You had your suspicions that Phil was pack alpha, and you were right. His presence, the kind of power he radiates. You’re going to be the head omega once Phil has claimed you. Natalie has been serving that position, as second alpha’s omega.
You’re not sure you want to take it from her.
They’re all older than you, if by only a couple of years. You do feel like a baby in their midst, so unprepared and unsure. It’s natural to feel that way, you were taught. There’s a shift, a change in dynamics, an adjustment period in the pack when a new omega is added.
Why couldn’t Phil have just been the family alpha type?
“Phil says you’ve known him for a while.” Anna, Marcus’ omega, says.
You nod. “He was friends with my dad when he was stationed in Fort Worth.”
“That was a while ago.” Jenny says.
“About ten years.” You say.
Silence falls in the room for a moment. It’s a tense silence, speaking volumes of their understanding and the realization of the situation. They won’t say anything. They can’t say anything.
“Well,” Natalie says, breaking the silence. “We’re glad you’re here. If you need anything at all, you’ve got us now.” She wraps her arms around you again. She reminds you a bit of your mother, perhaps if your mother hadn’t been constrained by the controlling nature of your father. “All omegas truly have is each other, right?”
The others agree with her, and you can’t deny it. What do omegas really have? Nothing their alphas don’t want them to have. Nothing parents, institutes, anyone in control don’t want them to have.
All we really have is each other.
“I mean it.” Natalie says. “Anything at all.”
They are excited to take you shopping, despite the heaviness of the conversation that had transpired. They spoil you, throwing bags and bags in the back of the SUV, brushing off any concerns about money. Anything you want or need, you get several of them. It’s overwhelming after never getting anything but the bare necessities and what the institute wants you to have.
Marcus, one of the higher ranking alphas in the pack, follows everyone around like a security detail. You had been concerned upon hearing only one alpha was accompanying you...until you saw Marcus for the first time. He’s big. Very big. Tall and bulky, he’s the perfect specimen of an alpha. Many young omegas’ dream alpha. Marcus is intimidating, letting off a dangerous air which causes most that pass your group to not even give you a second glance.
He escorts your small group around, offering up no question or complaint. You almost wish he was going to be your alpha, but then again, you know almost nothing about him. You don’t even really know that much about Phil. Most of the things you know are things you overheard from conversations he had with your father. But how trustworthy are those things, really? You hadn’t understood much until now. Now it all makes sense.
A lot of things make sense now.
Natalie stands with you on the sidewalk as Marcus and Bryan carry load after load of bags into Phil’s house. Your house. You’re scared for what’s coming tonight. Phil won’t wait. He won’t put things off, he won’t hold off until your first heat. He’ll want to make things official now, stake his claim as soon as possible. He’s waited ten years for this.
Natalie smiles softly down at you, a knowing look in her eyes. “Nervous?” She asks, picking up on your uneasy energy.
You nod, trying to stop the tears from pooling in your eyes. Good omegas serve their alphas, no matter what.
“I know what that’s like. I was scared shitless too.” She laughs quietly. “I think Oz was just as nervous too. Just relax and breathe. Phil will take care of you. That I can be confident about.” Her smile turns almost bittersweet. She knows. She understands. “You’ll be alright. I’ll come by tomorrow morning, okay?”
You nod, trying to suppress your nervousness. Natalie will understand, though you’re not so sure Phil will.
You look terrified as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. You bathed an hour ago and yet you still can’t quite bring yourself to leave the bathroom. You smooth your hands over the silk hugging your skin for the thousandth time. You’re shocked you haven’t worn through the thin fabric yet with your sweaty palms.
Your eyes dart down to the sink, your stomach churning wildly as the bedroom door closes. Phil is back. You’ll have to leave the bathroom soon. You can’t spend the whole night behind the locked door.
You don’t doubt he’d break it down eventually.
Then he’ll be angry.
You let out a long breath, curling your hands into fists to stop them from shaking. You have to do this. This is your job, your duty as an omega. Serve your alpha and make him happy. Be a good omega and do what he says. Obedience is an omega’s purpose. This is always what was going to happen, be it with Phil or with a stranger. Perhaps there is a small comfort in the fact you know Phil. You’re familiar with him. Why would he wait ten years for you just to hurt you?
The little food you managed to eat churns uncomfortably in your stomach. Phil had treated you to dinner before he’d left again, giving you time to clean up and prepare yourself for tonight. For right now.
You spritz more scent-enhancing perfume on your skin before you let out a long breath. You try to fix your face, not look quite so terrified, but you’re not sure you can hold it as you unlock the door, turning the knob.
The light in the closet is on, the door half open. Phil must be in there, likely having to maneuver around bags. You’d unpacked some things and put them away, but you’d nearly had a breakdown when you reached the lingerie store bags. You’re wearing some of it now, the silk robe and little white number your fellow omegas had gotten you. Specifically for tonight, you think. You won’t be wearing it again.
The closet door opens fully, Phil standing there in nothing but his jeans. His eyes trail your body as you stand there awkwardly in the middle of the room. His teeth sink into his lip, his scent thickening. You’re trying to look anywhere but at him but you can’t help the way your eyes are drawn to his form. He’s just as tall and muscular as you remember, more lean than bulky like your father had been. His skin is pale, though you can’t imagine him spending much time lounging in the backyard by the pool. Under the awning at the grill with a beer in hand as he used to do, that you can picture.
“Look at you.” He says, turning off the light before stepping fully out of the closet. “All wrapped up like a present just for me.”
You feel like vomiting as he approaches you slowly. You feel like a rabbit trapped in the sights of a hungry wolf, too afraid to run, too afraid to fight back. You’re going to be devoured and there’s no stopping it.
You jump as his hand cups your face, your eyes darting up to his. There’s a soft look in them, an attempt at soothing your fear. There’s nothing he can do to make this easier, though, other than just get it over with.
It’ll get easier. That’s what Anna told you. Eventually your omega will be happy, content with a good alpha and a pack. It’s just an adjustment. That’s why it’s recommended to wait when adding a new omega. Get past the adjustment period before reaching this stage.
How do you stop an alpha that’s been waiting ten years?
Most alphas don’t wait anyway.
“Don’t be scared, darlin’.” He says, lips tilting up in a smile. “I’ll take good care of you.”
His fingers tug at the ties of the robe around your waist, your heart thudding in your chest. You’re shocked he can’t hear it. It’s pulsing in your ears, nearly blocking out all sound as he pulls the tie free, revealing your lacy lingerie underneath. He lets out a low whistle as he pushes the robe off your shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.
“Look. At. You.” He says, enunciating each word. His hands slide down your sides, brushing lace and smooth skin. “Can’t wait much longer.” He nearly groans, his gaze darkening. He steps up closer to you, your gaze locked on his. You can’t look down, you can’t stare at the tent in his jeans, you can’t stare at the bulge that’s brushing against your pelvis with every breath. “You ever done this before?” He asks.
You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “N-No.”
“No?” He raises a brow. “Not even a kiss?”
You shake your head.
“Pure little thing, all for me.” He nearly growls, pushing his body fully against yours. His hand cups the side of your neck, something tingling in the back of your brain as his fingers brush the sensitive skin on the back of your neck.
You’re distracted from that tingle though as he kisses you, his lips rough against yours. You’re not sure what to do, but he doesn’t seem to care. His other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you tight against him. Your stomach is churning, not entirely from nerves anymore as his scent completely takes over, clouding your mind. Despite your nerves and hesitation, your omega purrs appreciatively. He smells good, like alpha. It’s exactly what your omega wants, what she’s been craving.
“Fuck,” He groans against your lips, hands tugging at the lace covering your lower back. “So fucking sweet.” He bites at your lower lip, harder than you're expecting. You let out a quiet nose but that only seems to encourage him.
He pulls away from you, turning you towards the bed. Your palms fall against the mattress to catch yourself. The comforter has been pulled down, your hands falling against the sheets. White sheets.
Phil’s hands drag up your back until it reaches the top of the lace. He rips it easily, tearing it down the back before he pushes it off your shoulders. His hands run over your skin as he pushes the lace from your body, his back meeting your chest. His skin is warm against yours, his bulge pushing up against your ass at this angle.
��Sweet little omega.” He growls, pressing his face into your neck, inhaling deeply. “All for me. All mine, aren’t you?”
“Yes, alpha.” You say, fingers curling into the sheet beneath your hands.
He hums appreciatively, nipping at the skin over your scent gland. You can’t help but begin to feel a stirring in your stomach. It feels good, despite everything. Your omega is growing complacent, the promise of what’s coming not nearly quite so frightening.
It gets easier.
Phil’s hands rest on your stomach, pushing your body tight against his. “Can’t wait for your next heat.” He groans, pushing his hips against your ass. “Gonna pump you full until it takes, give you a pup like you’ll be begging for. Keep you pumped full, just like your mama, huh. You’ll give me a big pack, won’t you?”
You’re glad he can’t see your face as he holds you there, your eyes glued to the white sheet in front of you. You desperately fight back the tears blurring your vision.
“Yes, alpha.”
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#call of duty#call of duty fic#philip graves x reader#graves x reader#alternate universe#au of an au#alpha/beta/omega dynamics#a/b/o#omegaverse#alpha philip graves#omega reader
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The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 4
Just a heads up tomorrow is the start of my posting hiatus. I will still do WIP Wednesdays and will be posting headcanons and stuff like that during that time. I will begin posting again on Sunday Sept. 1st. I haven't decided which story will get each slot, or if I just post based on vibes. Most likely vibes if I'm honest.
In this we get the first of Eddie's presents to Steve, Eddie refutes the stupid Steve charges, and Steve remembers something important that he forgot.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
~
Steve was living it up in the pool. His parents had an outdoor heated pool, but it was more for leisure than laps because of it’s weird oblong shape. But this? It had an outdoor pool, but the indoor pool was Olympic sized. Like proper with the lane lines painted on the bottom and everything.
So he practiced his backstroke and butterfly. And by the time he got out his muscles were deliciously sore and his skin was wrinkly. He showered and then padded over to the sauna to relax his ache muscles.
As he was the only one there, he set the temperature to slightly hotter than warm but not scorching. He wanted to rest his muscles not sweat out every toxin in his body. Once he was feeling good enough, he got dressed and walked back to his hotel.
He looked at the swimsuit in his hand and realized he wouldn’t have do laundry here if he didn’t want to. Wow. His mom always made him do his laundry even though they had a maid who would wash his parents’.
Steve looked at his watch and decided it was time for some dinner. He threw the swimsuit into the laundry basket and went to go blow dry his hair. He pulled out his but then noticed the one already on the counter. His eyes flicked between the two and there was no doubt that the one the hotel provided was way better than his.
He put his back in his bag and turned on the hotel’s hair dryer. It never overheated or would start to smell half way through the process. He ran a little gel through his hair and spritzed his hair three times with the hair spray.
He admired himself in mirror a moment. He was good looking. He knew that. But he never in his wildest dreams thought he had the looks to pull a rockstar. Like that was crazy levels of confidence. But looking in the mirror just now, maybe he could see what Eddie saw.
Steve walked up the table that had his wallet and picked it up. He pulled out his fake ID, the one that got him this cushy hotel room. He wouldn’t be able to use it for god knows how long, but he wanted to keep it. As a memento of sorts. God. He was already feeling melancholic about the whole thing and it had only been five hours.
That was when he spotted it. On the bed was a big white box. He frowned and walked up to it slowly. He wasn’t worried about people getting in. This was a hotel. It was probably put there by housekeeping or even the concierge. He knew better than to keep anything in his room that might interest a snoop.
He just wondered who gave it to him. He picked up the card and read it.
-To my little Canary
A parting gift from me.
Promise me you’ll wear it and think of me often
-Your Eddie
Steve lifted the lid of the box and inside was the most beautiful silk pajamas he had ever seen. It was a short-sleeved button up that stopped just an inch or so below the waistband of the matching shorts. The shorts themselves weren’t very long, not quite booty shorts level, but close. Both in a soft, light yellow color. Perfect for summer time.
He ran over to the phone and quickly dialed Eddie’s cellphone.
“Hello?” the warm, dulcet tones answered.
“Eddie?” Steve asked, even he knew it was. He was just so excited.
“My little Canary,” Eddie purred. “I take it you got your present.”
“I did,” Steve said, twirling the cord around his finger. “They’re beautiful. I can’t wait to wear them tonight.”
“Good,” Eddie said, a smile evident in his tone. “I hope I go the size right. Did you do anything fun today?”
Steve told him all about his day swimming and the sauna. He even told him about the hair dryer because he was just that excited about it all.
“That sounds great, little Canary,” Eddie said, his fondness oozing through in his tone. “I’m sending someone by with a card that I will load money on so that you can get things like gas for your car and other things for your personal hygiene, as I assume you’ll want to buy that stuff yourself.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” Steve found himself saying, almost against his will. “Could have gotten by with the hotel toiletries.”
Eddie chuckled. “Probably, but I wanted to give you the option of a choice.”
Steve blushed deeply, glad that Eddie couldn’t see him in that moment.
“Look, little Canary,” Eddie purred, “we just got to our location and I have to go, but I’ll call you after the show and tell you all about it.”
Steve bit his lip. “Yeah, I’ll talk then.”
He hung up after they said their goodbyes with a sigh. He flopped on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.
Fucking hell. What was he even doing with his life?
His stomach growled. Well, for starters, he guessed he was going to dinner.
~
When Steve finished his meal, which was even better than breakfast...He never had a steak melt in his mouth like that before. It was so soft and buttery and the potatoes tasted of rosemary and garlic, the carrots were covered in a glaze that tasted of honey and something darker.
He shook his head.
Anyway.
When he finished his dinner he went back up to the room. He resolved that he would need to do more than just swimming to keep the delicious food off his waistline. He was going to have to check out the gym here.
Steve looked at the time and decided it was too early for bed, but he got into the new pajamas anyway. The shorts were pulled on first and fuck. Steve felt sinful just wearing the damn things. They cupped him in all the right places but when he moved or sat down they didn’t ride up or pinch. He seriously thought about not putting on the shirt at all. But the desire to see the full effect won out.
He pulled it on and buttoned it up. And just like the shorts, the top was form fitting but comfortable. The V in the neck from where the highest button went (it didn’t button all the way up) just showed a peek of his chest hair.
He admired himself in the mirror for several minutes before he forced himself to go back out to the suite.
Steve grabbed the remote and started flipping the channels. He was used to cable as his mother needed her HSN and his father needed the soccer score. Not because he was interested in the game, but because he’d bet on foreign games.
But either his parents only had basic cable or there were a bunch of new channels added recently. And he was willing bet it was the former.
He found a late night baseball game from a Japanese league and started watching that. He couldn’t understand the announcers and he didn’t know the players’ names, but it was still baseball, regardless the language.
Before he knew it the game was over and it was late at night, finally time for bed. He got all snuggled into bed when the phone rang.
“‘Ello?” he muttered sleepily.
“Oh, darlin’,” the warm tones caressed his ear, “did I wake you?”
Steve hummed in the negative. “Just getting ready to sleep. Tell me all about selling out Indy.”
Eddie huffed out a laugh. “I’d ask you how you knew Corroded Coffin sold out tonight, but you spent all of last night surrounded by my fans. Even the stupidest person on the planet would have had to pick something up.”
“Mhmm,” Steve murmured. “That’s me, stupidest person on the planet.”
There was silence on the line for a moment or two. “Who says you’re dumb, baby?”
“My parents,” he said softly, “my first girlfriend before I realized I was gay, my ex-boyfriend, you know the one my parents kicked me out for? And um...the kids I babysat for are all like super geniuses, so they get frustrated with me a lot.”
“Oh my little Canary,” Eddie cooed. “You’re not dumb. School smarts isn’t everything. I’m living proof of that.”
“That’s true,” Steve said, a little less sad. “I’m talking to a bona fide rockstar.”
“Hell yeah you are,” Eddie agreed. “But let me tell you about my night and see if I can’t lull you to sleep with the sound of my voice.”
“I’d really like that.”
So that’s what Eddie did, he talked and talked until he could hear the soft little snuffling of snores from his Canary.
“Good night, sweetheart.”
~
When Steve woke up the next morning, the phone was still dangling off the cradle from where it fallen the night before when he fell asleep listening to Eddie.
Eddie had a great talking voice. Dude should do books on tape or voice acting or something. Maybe he’d tell him the next time he called.
He stretched and yawned. He woke up just as well rested today as he had yesterday. Which meant that as good as the sex was, and it was amazing, it wasn’t as big a factor in his night’s sleep as he thought.
He got up and went to go grab a shower. He hadn’t had a chance to use it yet, as he had used the swimming pool’s showers yesterday. He ordered breakfast and then hopped into the shower, telling them to just come in and leave it next the sofa.
He dried off with one of the most luxurious towels.
Steve stopped for a moment. He really needed to stop comparing the hotel to the life he led before being kicked out. It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t even in the same state let alone ball park. His life here would always be miles away from the life he left behind.
New cage, same as the old cage really except real gold instead of merely gilded. Better food, furniture, amenities. Same limitations. Can’t drink, but he could smoke.
So he went out on the balcony to do just that. He brought his food out with him and just smoked, watching the busy crowd below him.
Oh shit!
He scrambled back inside the hotel room and fumbled around for his wallet. He pulled out a little laminated card and dialed the one on the top.
“Henderson residence, Claudia speaking,” the warm motherly voice answered.
“Mrs. Henderson,” Steve whined, almost in tears at the sound of her voice.
“Steve?” she asked gently. “Oh I was wondering when you were going to call. Dustin has been worried sick. He went to Family Video yesterday to return “Ghostbusters” and the snooty girl at the counter said you’d been fired for sodomy!”
He winced a little at the harsh word she used. “I–I’m gay, Mrs. Henderson,” he whimpered into the phone. This was it, she was going to turn him away too. Forbid Dustin from seeing him, then it would get around to the all the other parents and he wouldn’t be able to be around Holly or Will. And–
“Ah...” she said, just as gentle and warm as before. “Can you help it? Can you choose who you love?”
“No, ma’am,” he whispered, hanging his head between his shoulders.
“Then why would I care?” Claudia huffed in annoyance. “The first thing a mother should learn is to love your child no matter what, no matter who. Now, if Dusty gives you a hard time, you let me know. You hear?”
Steve felt a swell of pride in his chest, she might have not had been his real mother, but he should have known better than to bet against Claudia Henderson.
“Here, let me go get him,” she said softly. “Would you like me to explain it to him first?”
A lump formed in his throat as he choked down tears. He forgot he wasn’t isolated. He wasn’t cut off completely from people.
“Yeah,” he said, his lip quivering. “If you would.”
“Of course, sweetie,” Claudia said warmly. “I’ll be right back.”
Steve didn’t have long to wait. Soon there was the sound of Dustin practically screaming in his ear.
“Hey, bud,” he said when he could finally get a word in.
There was a sniffle. “Why didn’t you call me and Ma? We would have taken you in.”
Steve’s heart swelled again, this time in utter love for this butthead. “Because my dad would have seen to it that she lost her job at the library and with your dad having just passed, I couldn’t do that to you, to either of you, okay?”
There was another sniffle. “Okay...”
“Here,” Steve said, “I can’t tell you where I am right now, because no doubt my dad is trying to run me out of town, but I can give you a phone number to call. I might not always be there, but you can leave a message and I’ll call you back.”
“I guess that’s acceptable,” Dustin huffed. “Can I tell everyone you’re okay?”
Everyone meant his kids. Max, Elle, Will, Mike, Lucas, and Erica. And well, Holly, too. But she was too young to really understand what was going on. Technically Erica should be in that same category but she was too smart to be left out. Steve didn’t even bother trying most days.
“Yeah, bud,” he murmured. “You can tell people I’m safe. Just keep the number to yourself for now. I don’t want my dad knowing where I am.”
“Roger that!” Dustin said.
They talked for a few moments longer before Claudia took the phone back.
“I’m going to call the PTA calling tree,” she said, “and get the word out that you’ll be unavailable to babysit for the foreseeable future.”
Steve hummed. “I think that’s the part that upsets me the most about all this shit.”
“I know, sweetie,” Claudia assured him. “But we’ll figure it out.”
And he was absolutely certain if anyone could, it was Claudia Henderson.
He let out a sigh of relief for the first time since he was kicked out.
~
Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12
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7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt
9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec
10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#age difference#ten years between steve and eddie
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A project of love | ls2
Summary: where you have to do a project with your crush and you try not to fall for him.
Warning: none.
a/n: requested and dedicated by @bananaleclerc I hope you like it!! And yes, I need a break from posting so much 😂😂
You're hunched over a textbook at a library table, surrounded by scattered notes and a half-eaten granola bar. Just then Logan enters the library, a whirlwind of energy and a backpack overflowing with what looks like every microbiology textbook ever written.
He slammed his books down next to you. “Hey there, study buddy! Ready to conquer the microscopic world?”
You jump a little, startled. He flashes a dazzling smile. “Uh, yeah, hi Logan. I was just... uh... reviewing.” You say, trying to sound casual.
“Awesome! Me too. Though, to be honest, my brain feels like it's about to explode from all these bacteria names.” He pulls out a chair dramatically and sits down. “Did you get a chance to look at the project outline Professor Davies sent? Apparently, we're germ-fighting partners!”
Your stomach flips. Internally screaming, you manage a smile. “Yeah, I saw it. Partnered up, huh? Makes sense, I guess.”
“Definitely! We balance each other out, right? You with your quiet genius vibe, and me... well, I bring the enthusiasm.”
You laugh nervously, a blush creeping up your cheeks.
“I wouldn't call myself a genius, but hopefully, I can keep up with your... enthusiasm.”
“Oh, you will, trust me. So, what do you think? Should we start with some foundational stuff, or dive straight into the exciting world of, like, antibiotic resistance?” he grins.
You take a deep breath, trying to focus. “Maybe foundational stuff first? That way, we're both on the same page when we get to the more complex topics.”
”Sounds like a plan! But hey, don't worry about keeping up. Like I said, I'm basically a walking microbiology encyclopedia. Just ask away if you get lost.”
You nod, but your mind is racing. Trying to focus on the project feels impossible now that you're so close to him.
You clear your throat. “Okay, so... cell walls of bacteria... what were we talking about those in lecture?”
Logan launches into an explanation, peppered with jokes and pop culture references. You try to concentrate, but all you can think about is the way his eyes light up when he talks about something he's passionate about.
Later, after a productive study session, you're packing your things.
“So, should we meet again tomorrow? Same time, same place?”
You feel your heart pounding. “Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds good.”
“Great! Hey, you seem a little quiet today. Everything alright?” he asks softly.
You force a smile. “Yeah, no, I'm just... tired, I guess... All this studying.”
“Studying can be draining! But hey, at least we're suffering together, right?” He winks at you. “See you tomorrow, germ fighter!”
He flashes another smile and throws you a peace sign before walking off. You sigh, a mix of frustration and a secret thrill bubbling in your chest. Studying with Logan might be the most nerve-wracking, yet strangely fun, experience of your university career so far.
You watch him disappear into the library crowd, a bittersweet pang in your chest.
You mutter to yourself. “Germ fighter, huh? More like heartbreaker.”
You gather your things, a sudden wave of determination washing over you. You like Logan, a lot. But you can't let that distract you from the project. You take a deep breath and head out of the library, a plan forming in your mind.
***
The next day, you arrive at the study table a few minutes early. You've spent the morning making flashcards – not just on microbiology, but also on Logan's interests you've gleaned from his conversation snippets. Genetics? Check. Obsession with the movie "The Andromeda Strain"? Double check.
He bursts in, a little late and slightly out of breath.
“Sorry I'm late! Professor Davies got us sidetracked talking about her research on bioluminescent bacteria. Apparently, there's a kind that glows neon green – can you believe it?” He says hurriedly, making you laugh a little, just then he notices the flashcards on the table. “Whoa, flashcards? You serious?”
You nod smiling, not as nervously as yesterday. “Just thought they might help us remember all this complex stuff. Besides, I found some fun facts related to the topics we need to cover. Maybe a little trivia can keep things interesting?”
His eyes wide at your words. “You got fun facts about bacteria? Okay, you officially win coolest study partner ever! Shoot, let's hear one.”
You pick up a flashcard and grin. Maybe studying with Logan won't be so bad after all. Maybe you can find a way to balance your academic focus with a sprinkle of something more.
***
The following week becomes a whirlwind of flashcards, late-night library sessions fueled by takeout, and a slow, simmering tension between you and Logan. Your knowledge of bacteria trivia becomes legendary, earning you surprised yet impressed glances from Logan. He, in turn, starts bringing coffee (with extra whipped cream for you, which you secretly adore) and peppering the study sessions with personal anecdotes, revealing a surprisingly deep and caring side beneath his bubbly exterior.
One rainy afternoon, hunched over a microscope analyzing bacterial cultures, Logan asks. “Hey, you ever wonder what those bioluminescent bacteria actually look like in real life?”
You glance up, surprised by the sudden seriousness in his voice. “Not really.” you admit, “but Professor Davies said she has some under a special microscope in her lab. Maybe we could ask if we could take a peek after our next class?”
He grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Perfect... We can make it a little research adventure.”
The stolen glance you share sparks a warmth in your chest, a silent acknowledgement that this is more than just a study session. The next day, after you convince a hesitant Professor Davies to let you glimpse the glowing bacteria, you find yourselves alone in the dimly lit lab.
As you peer through the microscope, Logan leans closer, his shoulder brushing yours. “Wow.” he whispers, “they're incredible.”
You hum in agreement, captivated by the tiny emerald lights dancing before your eyes. The silence stretches, charged with unspoken emotions. You can feel the heat radiating from him, his breath tickling your ear.
Suddenly, the lab door bursts open, revealing Professor Davies returning from her meeting. You and Logan jump apart, both cheeks flushing a deep red.
“Did you get to see them?” she asks cheerfully.
“Yes, Professor,” you stammer a little bit, “they're amazing!”
As the week progresses, the air between you crackles with a new awareness. You find yourself stealing glances at Logan as he talks, your heart skipping a beat when he laughs at one of your jokes.
During a particularly frustrating attempt at culturing E. coli, you blurt out, “Ugh, these bacteria are so stubborn!”
“Hey,” Logan says softly, placing a hand on yours, “we'll figure it out together... Like always.”
His touch sends a jolt through you, and you meet his gaze, your eyes locked in a silent conversation. In that moment, you both know this partnership has become something more, a budding connection waiting to bloom amidst the petri dishes and microscopes.
The shared look hangs heavy in the air, the frustration of the stubborn E. coli forgotten. Logan's hand lingers on yours, his thumb gently brushing against your skin. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, and a blush creeps up your neck.
“Maybe,” he starts, his voice a low rumble, “we should take a break from these little buggers. Grab some coffee, clear our heads?”
You nod mutely, your heart pounding a frantic rhythm against your ribs. Stepping out of the lab, the rain has stopped, leaving the air fresh and clean. As you walk side-by-side, a comfortable silence settles between you. You steal a glance at Logan, his profile sharp against the setting sun.
Reaching the familiar coffee shop you frequent, you order your usual, Logan opting for his favorite with extra whipped cream (a detail that makes your stomach flutter with a strange mix of amusement and affection). Settling into a quiet corner booth, you both sip your drinks, the tension still simmering beneath the surface.
“Thanks for sticking with this project,” Logan says, his gaze fixed on you. “It wouldn't have been nearly as fun without you.”
A shy smile graces your lips. “It wouldn't have been so bad with you either.”
He leans closer, his eyes searching yours. The air crackles with unspoken desire. In a voice barely above a whisper, he asks, “Can I do something?”
Your breath catches in your throat. You nod hesitantly, a shiver running down your spine. He closes the distance between you, his hand cupping your cheek. His touch is soft, sending a jolt of electricity through you.
The kiss is tentative at first, a brush of lips that sends a wave of heat through your body. But then, something shifts. He deepens the kiss, his hand moving to cradle your head, tilting it for better access. You melt into him, the taste of coffee and something uniquely Logan swirling on your tongue.
The kiss is brief, broken by a gasp for air. He leans his forehead against yours, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. Your eyes flutter open to meet his, a goofy grin plastered across his face.
“Wow,” he breathes, a mixture of awe and amusement in his voice.
You can only manage a shaky smile, your heart overflowing with a mix of exhilaration and nervousness. The world seems to tilt on its axis, and for a moment, only you and Logan exist in this small corner of the coffee shop.
As you pull back and smile, a newfound confidence sparks within you... Maybe this partnership, born amidst bacteria and microscopes, could blossom into something more. And you, for one, are eager to see where it leads.
#formula one x reader#f1 x you#logan sargeant#logan x reader#logan sargent x reader#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x you#logan x you#logan x y/n#logan sargeant fluff#mariclerc fics
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Hiii! I love your writing, please ignore this if your requests are closed I’m on mobile and sometimes it’s weird with showing symbols and stuff TT could I request fem reader head-canons with dazai,Chuuya and atsushi, basically they haven’t seen eachother in a long time (mission or whatever) and they’re being intimate again but the boys are like way more sensitive since it’s been ages please. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense or some things are wrong English isn’t my first language.
of course anon! I'll do my best . this might be a big one !! I didn't write any scenario sections because the post was already so so long, maybe another day !!
"Missing you" nsfw headcanons
contents ; nsfw, dazai x reader, atsushi x reader, chuuya x reader, reader is fembodied, switch!reader, biting, crying from pleasure, needy needy boys, breeding kink if you squint, biting, oral ( both recieving )
Dazai Osamu -
god he is so touchy with you the exact second you're home. immediately his hands are on you and making you shudder the moment you're through the door. he was so patient waiting, he needs you now so so bad :((
he'd tried to pleasure himself while you were gone but it just didn't do the job like he would've hoped. it was so difficult without you and for sure everyone was hearing about it. (u can slap him it's okay)
he's praising you more then normal, before you went away he'd told himself that he'd do just fine without you but it's really made him realise how much he treasures and needs you. he just loves being close to you!!
you'll hear this multiple times on the list but god he's so loud. as soon as he's inside you he's making sounds you'd barely even heard from him before, whimpers and whines like an animal in heat.
there's definately multiple rounds. good luck trying to get back to work tomorrow, if you're 'lucky' enough he'll coax you into another one in the morning.
he misses so much about you :((. the sounds you make, the way your walls are so warm and inviting, your taste, how soft your skin is. everything like that!! he just loves you so much.
he probably won't be letting you go on another mission for a while. he couldn't handle all that time apart again!!
he cums pretty quickly the first round. he almost forgot how good you feel, so when he's bottomed out inside of you it's almost like reality sets back in.
tears up a little too. he's very very sensitive!! the time away from you was so stressful and having you so close again and like this is too much for him.
Chuuya Nakahara -
he doesn't wanna pressure you back into it and be begging as soon as you get back like dazai does. he gives you time to relax again and cooks dinner before anything. he wants it, so bad, but he's scared to overstep immediately.
he's so lovesick, as soon as you give him the allowance to his hands are on you and his fingers are in you. he wants you to feel good, and hopefully if you feel good enough, you won't leave him again!!
say goodbye to the usual loving pace, you feel so good around him that he can barely control himself. sure, it's passionate, but he's rougher with you then he normally is. he's pent up!!
switching positions so often, he wants to make up for the time lost. one moment you're sat over his face and the next you're face down ass up as he hits deep inside of you.
again as I said, he's louder then usual. he tears up a lot quicker then dazai does, because it just feels so so good to be back inside you again.
he holds you so tight, in this time his favourite sort of positions are generally ones where you can be as close to each other as possible. he for sure would love to half hug you while he fucks you.
your markings he left previous probably wore off in this time, so he's remaking you during the session. he doesn't want to let you free from the constant reminder you're his!!
he doesn't go as many rounds as he usually would, he orgasms a lot quicker due to the time away so he's just trying his best to pleasure you enough to then hold you all night long. fully satisfied and stuffed with his cum :)
so many kisses. be it sloppy or tender, throughout the entire act his lips are on yours. he misses the taste of your tongue, and eating you out can only go so far.
Atsushi Nakajima -
you thought the other boys were loud? rethink after you've heard atsushis volume. he's whining like a wet animal and you better just pray your neighbors aren't hearing it.
if you've ever wanted to peg him this is your chance. he's missed you so badly he'll literally let you do anything with any kink as long as you give him a night.
hes so loving with you !! if you ignore his nails digging into you as he clutches onto you for dear life, he's so soft and tender as he readjusts to the feeling of being in you again.
hes a biter. like very much. much like chuuya, the usual small markings he left are probably faded by now, but he's missed the taste of your skin so much that he can't sinking his teeth into you when near orgasm.
he doesn't cry like the others unless you peg him, and if you do so you'll barely even manage to get a sentence out of him. he is just so sensitive :((
he'll take you anywhere in this time. be it up against a wall, on the couch, over the kitchen countertop or in the usual side of the bed you always do. as long as its with you, he doesn't care !!
he wants to taste you again for sure. you'll have at least a couple rounds where he makes you cum on his tongue, he's so eager with it too.
it's all giving the day you're back. usually he's shyly asking for a blowjob at the end of it, but today it's all you!! ( no denying if you offer though. )
he didn't try to pleasure himself the entire time you were gone. poor baby, it never felt as good as you did, so he decided to keep himself until the day you returned.
I hope you enjoyed!! thank you for all the likes on previous posts. - zai
#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs imagines#bungo stray dogs smut#bungo stray dogs x you#dazai smut#dazai x reader#dazai x y/n#dazai osamu x reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#dazai x you#osamu x y/n#osamu x you#osamu x reader#osamudazai#chuuya x reader#bungo stray dogs chuuya#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x y/n#chuuya x you#atsushi smut#atsushi x reader#bsd atsushi#bungou stray dogs atsushi#atsushi nakajima
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Spotless: Ziehen
Chapter Thirty One
Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela
Other characters: Zachariah, Crowley, Dick, Bobby, Sam and Benny
Word Count: 2053, with other media
Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, still unbeta'd, talk of extra-curricular activities coming up, a thirst trap because Jensen has been unfair lately, Benny being a teddy bear, and Bela trying to make amends
Series Masterlist
“And between record store day and Phantom Traveler’s release, Q2 is looking to break records for us,” Zachariah droned on.
“Well, it’s the least they could do,” Dick added glibly.
You couldn’t roll your eyes, you were on camera, but you wanted to. Crowley didn’t reply, but Zachariah chuckled and took a beat to agree before going on down the line of his report. Bobby huffed, but kept a lid on it, which told you how much he knew Dick was right.
“Things are shaping up well with pre-orders and the appearances Bobby and company have lined up between Vegas and New Orleans with the album release. should outshine their previous album sales by a wide margin,” Crowley tacks on, almost bored with the success.
You set that up, not Bobby, but you kept your mouth shut, nodding.
“Y’all can thank Y/N for that, you know,” Bobby said gruffly.
“Of course,” Dick agreed offhandedly, eyes darting down to other parts of his screen.
Thank God for Bobby. You simply smiled and kept listening.
“Sounds great, people! Let’s check back the week of the release to ensure we’re still on track. We’ve got a lot of numbers to move to get in the black here, but I see good things happening,” Dick smarmed and instantly sent a meeting invite for the following month.
“Thank you!” you replied dutifully and closed the window for the chat. After accepting the invite and adding it to your personal calendar, you exhaled long and hard. You checked your phone, Bela had called again and left another two text messages. You ignored her. She could wait.
You called Bobby for a mix of mutual griping and to debrief about where that put you all going forward.
Without even a greeting, Bobby started, “I swear they get dumber every quarter.”
“Tell me about it. Thanks for having my back in there, though, I was starting to see red by the end.”
“You and me both, darlin’.” Bobby huffed. “The amount of stuff you get done is amazing. Even without all the run-around from the last tour, you are doing more than anybody I’ve seen in your position. We appreciate ya, even if the suits can’t see past their nose jobs.”
You beamed.
“Thanks. So, what’s on the agenda for the week? I know Dean and Sam took Gibson and Pamela to the zoo.”
“Yeap. Got the Midway Museum tomorrow if you have time, got tickets for anybody who wants to go. Might be good time for pictures if you need some candids for the socials.”
You knew this was his way of telling you to come, he even gave you justification for doing it on so called work hours.
“Maybe. I might just steal some from the band. Too much to get done before the show on Thursday.”
“Well, you’re welcome to join us if you get caught up or not.”
“Thanks.” It felt like all you could say to him today. It was a small word with a lot of connotations, but you were grateful. You owed Bobby so much. Though he never gave anything he didn’t want to give or for any form of repayment. He was too good for this industry. They all were.
“I’ll keep you posted. I have calls with the next couple of venue coordinators today and then some event security stuff tomorrow morning with Benny for some non-venue signings and stuff.”
“You still want to do the battered women's shelter thing?”
“The domestic violence survivors fundraiser in Vegas? Absolutely.”
Bobby hummed.
“I know what you’re thinking, Bobby. And that’s exactly why we’re doing it.”
“Do you think it looks like pandering?”
“I think it looks like community service. And if I didn’t think Dean could handle it, I wouldn’t have signed him up for it.”
“Even after that little disappearing act on Saturday?”
“Dean is a domestic abuse survivor, Bobby. Part of what he’s gone through is accepting that.”
“Yeah, but Cas—.”
“Cas is still family. And he didn’t press charges. And you know Dean—- penance is something he needs to do for himself, too.”
Bobby sighed. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”
“Trust me, this is still my good side.”
Bobby actually chuckled at that. “I bet! Okay, I should get going, promised the missus we’d hit the shops before dinner.”
“Have a good one.”
“Alrighty, bye then.”
You smiled at your desk as Bobby hung up. He was happy and Annie was good for him. It didn’t matter their pasts, they made it work, and made each other better along the way.
Which seemed utterly remarkable and unattainable for somebody like you.
But if anybody deserved it, it was them.
You put down your phone and pulled up Twitter, it was time to dig through the chaos and do what you did best: highlight the good, the band's synergy and the new momentum and bury the bad.
Which seemed to include you this time around, unfortunately.
After Twitter, you tackled Insta, Reddit and even FB, though most people cross posted the same images and anecdotes, some people only used one of the bunch. And some only used them on pain of death, namely Dean. Meanwhile, Bela had posted a couple of great shots from the afterparties, which you liked as the band and as yourself.
You were crabby, not petty.
And busy, damnit.
The next morning, Sam smirked at you when he caught your eye in the hotel’s gym. He was already sweating from running outside, but must have come back to stretch or work something more intensely. What you weren’t expecting was Dean to be hot on his heels, equally as sweaty, equally as mischievous.
“Trouble! How’s business?”
You rolled your eyes and took out an earbud, not sure you really heard them.
“What’s up?”
“We’re gonna lift— you want in?” Sam was teasing you now.
You pedaled stiffly and shook your head. “Fuck no, I’m good here, got another ten mile circuit after this breather.”
“Suit yourself,” Dean taunted and grinned before he crossed his legs and touched his toes. What the hell? Luckily there was only one other guest using the elliptical, so they weren’t being complete nuisances, yet.
They weren’t even directly in your line of sight, otherwise it could have gotten awkward, and distracting.
Still, you felt them keep glancing at you, making faces, and even cheering for you when you shifted up with your ass out of the seat to get the best angle for the various hills. You flipped them off, but kept your eyes forward and your earbuds in place.
Thirty minutes later, you groaned and stepped off the stationary bike. Dean and Sam had been talking more than doing curls with the free weights, obviously being dorks about each other’s efforts.
Boys.
“Good workout?” Dean asked as you sanitized your equipment. Sweat clung to your oversized tank top, all down your back, and between your legs. Thank god you wore your black workout leggings today.
“Yeah? You?” You smirked as Dean made a show of extending his movements slowly and pointedly. Yes, Dean, your arms should be illegal, you thought.
“Good, uh— need help stretching?”
You looked at him a little dumbfounded and then back at Sam, who seemed just as surprised as you were by the offer.
“Nah, I’ve got my bands and stuff in my room. Though, I bet Sam would love to see you try and bullshit your way through a cool down routine,” you tacked on, trying to laugh off the offer. Inside you were imagining Dean’s weight against you, pushing your knees up and out, flexing your hip joints with his thick fingers digging into the meat of you…
“Hey! I was just being nice.”
“Dude,” Sam muttered.
You sighed and gave Dean an apologetic smile. “Maybe another time.”
You pretended not to hear the series of slaps that happened behind your back as you made your way to the elevator and your generic hotel shower.
Benny treated you to lunch after your video calls with the S.A.F.E. House staff and the one with the folks at the radio station who’d be interviewing the band the morning of the first Vegas show.
“Saw your tweet on Cas’ post,” you added thoughtfully, midway through your shrimp po boys.
“Yeah, well, didn’t want him thinking he done wrong by us.”
You chewed and nodded, silently telling him that you got it, appreciated it even.
“You hear anything else from the guys about the last show, you know, after Dean disappeared and, um, everything?”
You needed to know if the guards were loyal, but mostly you wanted to know what they had seen.
“Seemed pretty anticlimactic to most of them, from what I hear. Dean came through, sober and clean as a whistle. —Even the venue goons didn’t clock anything weird,” Benny pointed out before taking another bite, his teeth flashing in the afternoon sun.
After a few moments, Benny continued. “But, uh, that label stooge you got following Bela? He’s the one to worry about, really, seems to keep his cards close to the vest.”
Damn, you knew he was right before he even finished the sentence. Tiny would be the one to squeal to Crowley, or worse, Dick, at the end of the day. You wondered if you could buy him off or treat him in other ways while on the road. Bela wasn’t scheduled to be around until the second Vegas show, you had some time to figure out his motives. Or if he even cared at all.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”
Benny sniffed and looked around the small patio outside the restaurant. “Bela’s not really Dean’s girl is she? She some kind of clout pusher?”
You swallowed and took a long slurp of your iced tea, washing away the now muted flavor of your lunch. “I honestly don’t know anymore, Benny. They’ve definitely been enjoying each other’s company more than I expected.”
“Perhaps—- but don’t you worry none. She’s not the type you settled down with and he’s got eyes deeper than the cut of her fancy tops.”
You huffed. Benny certainly had a way with words.
“It’s okay, Benny— I’m not in a place to be jealous.”
He just raised his eyebrows at you and took another bite.
“I did this— I set them up. I’d guess you’d call it reaping what I sow or something?”
Benny nodded and shrugged. “Or something.”
“You won’t— you won’t tell anybody, right? His story is safe with you?”
“Doll, I’ve been covering that boy’s ass since before Lisa— I’m true.”
“I know, Benny, sorry—- it’s just so much posturing all the time. I just want to take pictures and show the world how badass they are. I want people to hear the stories behind the songs, because it shows they’re human too. Sometimes I wish—-”
“Wishin’ for rain in the desert aint doin’ anybody a lick of good. You know the score, you just gotta beat them at their own game. Dean’s a good man, he knows what’s real. Don’t think we all don’t know that, too.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime. Know who your people are, if you trust Bela— then she won’t let Tiny think anything is up. Friends have each other’s back against the world, right?”
“Right,” you agreed, suddenly feeling ridiculously immature for ignoring her for the past few days.
“Eat up, cher. It’s a long tour. You’ll need your strength.”
That was an understatement, but you dug in anyway.
“Y/N, listen— I’ve resorted to leaving you a voicemail. It’s come to that. I’m sorry. I am. I didn’t mean anything disparaging about you the other night— just maybe about how you treat Dean. Not that it's bad, overkill more like, but it’s not like you’re bad or weak for doing it.--- I know how much you loved her, Y/N, I know. Him too, it seems. I just don’t want you wasting so much of your life trying to make up for losing her. It hurts to see you so— subservient. You are so much more than an errand girl. So I’m sorry for my lack of tact. But I’m not sorry I brought it up. Okay? There. Call me back and yell at me properly already, Jesus.”
Tagging:
@deans-spinster-witch
@mrswhozeewhatsis
@cosicas-cuquis
@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like
@suckitands33
@ladysparkles78
@deans-baby-momma
@stoneyggirl2
@sassy-pelican
@leigh70
@globetrotter28
@winharry
@lastactiontricia
@rockhoochie
@brightlilith
@coldhearted93
@djs8891
@beautiful-places-blog
@n-o-p-e-never
@spxideyver
Chapter 32: Tronco
#spotless series#dean winchester fanfiction#dean/reader#dean/bela#slow burn#rockstar au#fake dating#dean angst#dean is not so smooth
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"Not What I Planned." Rusty Nail X AFAB! Reader.
Well hello! It is the amazing and fantastic @eggsandbeer birthday so, so soon! But I am meeting Matt and Skeet tomorrow and my brain is gonna be all on Billy and Stu post that, so you get this now! This is my first time writing Rusty, I watched Joy Ride 2 six times while writing this. I love Riri, she is so fucking awesome and I adored doing this. She has a more personalized version but gave the go ahead to post a reader insert version for you all! So let's go!
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Rating. Explicit. Length. 7.7K (I Know.) Rusty Nail X AFAB! Reader. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: Customer Service Work. Asshole Customers. Murder Mentioned. Drinking. Making Out. Man Handling. Fingering. Masturbation. Blow Job. Cum Eating. Vaginal Sex. Riding. Taunting. Teasing. Dirty Talk. Praise. Pet Names.
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You hate your job, it is exhausting, mentally and physically, a total drain, but you do all you can to not let it get you down. You focus on the little things, good customer interactions, great coworkers and the times you are truly able to get away from your work. It isn’t like it’s what you wanted to do for the rest of your life anyway, far from it, in fact one of those vital lifelines that helps keep you sane is a local news internship, it gives you some good experience for what you hope to actually eventually do with your life along with giving you purpose.
Today is not good, though, off to a less than ideal start. This is decidedly not the way you wanted to spend your birthday. Rolling into the grocery store to do a closing shift, apron in your grip and bag over your shoulder, half-hearted waves to co-workers as you strolled through towards the area you could safely stow away your stuff until you are allowed to clock out. You do just that, drop your stuff in the usual place, get your uniform situated and punch in, ready for another day of God knows what bullshit.
Your mind was at least slightly occupied, where you work is en route to the Burning Man festival which meant that you were busy as fuck with people loading up on supplies before they arrive to their final destination, it kept you busy. As for what kept your brain whirring, your internship had tasked you with writing a piece on the crowd that is rolling through on their way, meaning you are watching and listening intently. It looks like you aren’t from the outside, hands stacking a fruit display, but ears open, all sorts of talk about events the Burners were amped up for, how much further they had to travel, what snacks were the best and would keep in the desert heat.
You did some actual work naturally, finding yourself crouched and cleaning out a stubborn drain, the process thoroughly annoying and honestly degrading, and not in the fun way you usually liked. It was your fucking birthday, for Christ’s sake, you should be indulging in the fun kind of calve burning, not the bent over and unclogging kind. Still, you try to stay in higher spirits and certainly not show it outwardly, if someone squinted hard enough, they might be able to pick up on it.
Later on, you had just finished making a new display, standing back and looking at the gorgeous display of apples you’d spent longer than you cared to mention on, hands on your hips. The first genuine smile that had graced your face since clocking in and wasn’t tinged with a single hint of perfectly practised customer service fakeness. This is one of those moments you felt genuine pride in your work, a glimmer of nicety in all the bullshit.
It lasted for two whole seconds.
A customer’s cart hits you in the hip and wrist simultaneously because of how you were standing, the action both painful and shocking, completely unexpected. It makes you step to the side, grip your wrist with your other hand, the pain is throbbing and dull, it isn’t the worst thing you’ve ever experienced, but it still sucks and should have never happened in the first place. The customer doesn’t apologize. Worse still, they stride forward, pick a single apple from the middle of the display, causing half of it to tumble over. The customer scoffs with a roll of their eyes, they drop the apple into their cart to look around, seeming to notice you just now for the first time, only then acknowledging you. They give a pointed look from you to over their shoulder, a motion of their head as they criticized your work, “Not very sturdy.”
Your mouth falls open, and they tut as they walk away, leaving you dumbfounded with fifteen some odd apples scattered on the ground that you had to clean up and a display you had to rebuild.
Later still, you are sweeping, trying to get these damn onion skins up, but they aren’t moving. You are half focused, conversing with one of the Burners, they are asking for your opinion on what kombucha is best, and you are humouring them and getting a few questions answered along the way.
Throughout all the regular work crap, you’d been having small conversations with people, writing brief notes for your project, and it was nice getting some serious stuff down about it, served as a half decent distraction too.
His initial thought is that it was reminiscent of a zoo, upon greater thought while attempting to park the Peterbilt he decided swiftly that it was worse than that, a fucking circus. He manages to park and decides that getting in and out as fast as possible would be vital to maintaining his sanity. He was aware that Burning man was happening, naturally, but still the place was crowded as all Hell, more than he had been anticipating. Rusty didn’t like large crowds of people, but he needs some supplies, he needs to eat.
It isn’t any better inside.
He is making his way around, hat pulled low, basket in his grip, grabbing a few drinks, some favoured snacks that he knew kept well, he was passing by the produce, almost ready to get the fuck out. He goes into your department, he is grabbing bananas and thinking about getting some of those pre-cut carrot and celery sticks. Rusty is trying to be a tad more health minded, not like it would do much with how much he enjoys a good smoke but better to do something than nothing he supposed.
His train of thought is broken when he hears a loud exclamation of, “I can’t believe how fucking stupid you are!”
Rusty’s head turns, he catches sight of you, standing there, trying to look apologetic as some older lady is verbally ripping into you, “I’m making lemon chicken LEEK stroganoff, right?”
She is looking at you expectantly, your eyes wide, and with that half customer service forced smile you nod and say through gritted teeth, “Right.”
“So tell me, how. Am I. Supposed. To make. Lemon, chicken LEEK stroganoff without LEEKS?” The way she said it was infuriating, the halting, pausing way of it, so condensing, as if you were the cross between an idiot and a child all rolled into one.
“I don’t know, ma’am. I guess you can’t. I’m very sorry.” You admit it reluctantly, knowing she won’t like your response, and she does not. She goes off on you, “Well I’ve had this menu planned for WEEKS, I have company coming tonight! You have to make this right!”
Rusty was listening in, brow pinching, this woman was off her rocker, what a complete bitch. You were trying to calm her, smooth over the situation, and she was being worse and worse to you. No matter what you say, she wouldn’t stop freaking out.
“I really am very sorry. I could call another store nearby and ask if they have any leeks?” You offer up, and she scoffed with a laugh, “So I can make ANOTHER stop? Do you not remember? I am hosting a dinner party tonight, I’m busy! I have other places to go, I can’t be here fighting with you over this all night!”
And yet she was still here, doing just that.
He had turned, wasn’t watching quite as subtly as he was previous. You were doing your best and none of it was measuring up to this crazy, impossible standard that was being set out. He was looking at you, and he could see that you were taking it hard, your customer service face and voice were holding strong, but your eyes? They looked so sad.
You reminded him of a kicked puppy, as the woman finally had enough of being a raging cunt and stormed off. Right after that, someone else in uniform walked by, a manager? And on their way, they said, “Happy birthday.”
You gave a small, “Thanks.” along with half a wave as they strode past. You were not only working on, but getting treated like that, on your birthday?
It got to him, hit him square in the chest, shot to the heart. A sigh and he looks over, he makes a note of the asshole who mistreated you so, he has a little time before they check out before he can go dispose of them in the parking lot for being so unreasonable and rude to you. It might be too far for some people but not for him, people like that, there is no changing them, not at her age, some people don’t deserve to live.
First things, first though, he saunters over to you, a small clearing of his throat before he asks, “Got a date tonight, there a drink you’d recommend?”
You turn towards the low and smooth voice, you have to turn your head up to look at him properly, he was taller than you. The way he was standing, the angle, and how he wore his hat you couldn’t see his face, brim pulled too low, standing a few feet away.
A small inhale and your smile turned more genuine before you reply, “Oh, our Pink Champagne is my favourite. I get that on special occasions.”
Well, how fucking perfect a find were you? Kind, respectful, hardworking, and you have good taste.
“Thank you.” He said it easily with a wave of his hand in acknowledgement and broke away. You watch him go and think to yourself that he is cute, in that particular way that strikes you when an older guy catches your eye just so. The interaction doesn’t stick with you however, you turned and saw more fucking onion skins that needed sweeping up.
Hours later, you finally get off of work, messed up apron in one hand and looking forward to getting the hell home. You had two days off ahead, you were intent on a bath and partaking in some drinks in your fridge with a good record on when you get home. You are walking through the dark and now very empty parking lot, your mind only focused on reaching your car, sliding behind the wheel and getting home as soon as possible, when you hear a voice calling out. Your car keys are in one hand, the keys between your fingers, sticking out and ready to punch a would be attacking if you need to.
Hearing the voice makes you put your head on a swivel, initially scared, you look and then see it is that older gentlemen you helped out earlier. You pause, and he comes a little closer, again in the dark and with that hat you can’t make out much except for the orange glow of the end of his cigarette, partially illuminating the lower half of his face. He calls out your name, following it with a question of, "-right?”
“Hi, yeah it is.” You were still sightly on edge until he is holding up the very same bottle you suggested earlier, “Wanted to say thank you for your recommendation, properly.”
Your brows raise up, you saw him in the store hours ago, meaning he should in theory be long gone, and you ask, “I thought you had a date?”
“I do. I was just waitin’ for her to get off work.” Even though you couldn’t see it fully, you could hear the smile in his tone, and it makes one spread to your own face. “Oh, my apologies, I didn’t realize that was you asking me out.”
The tone you said it in was very light, and he seemed equally amused, “Sorry bout that, terrible manners on my part, truly.”
There is a beat of silence, and you say, “I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you.”
“So you’d be willing to join me?” He asks, you nod, you felt endeared to him very quickly, the confidence he displayed, the boldness, you were charmed and figured why not? You had the time tonight, nothing wrong with enjoying a birthday drink bought by a courteous man.
“Where are we going to go?” You ask, and he gestured over to the large shiny black Piterbilt towards the back of the lot. “Was thinking my truck, if that’s alright with you?”
When he asks in that delicious tone of voice, you think that yes, it is very alright with you. “Lead the way.” You prompt, and he does, you fall into step beside him, apron is thrown over your shoulder, and you asked, “So you’re a truck driver?”
“How’d you ever guess?” He asked on an exhalation of his cigarette with a glance over to you. Now you can catch the half smirk on his face, unable to make out his eyes completely, but it didn’t bother you, honestly you kind of dug the mysterious kind of thing, not even fully knowing what he looked like. If anything that communicated how into him, you were, hadn’t even seen his whole face but his voice and how he carried himself was more than enough to convince you to this odd kind of unexpected date.
“I’m real intuitive. Call it a gift.” You mused, and he liked you, even in how you joked, there was no real meanness to it, could tell that it was all in fun and that inherent niceness shone through. “Giving me gifts when it’s your birthday? Isn’t that what M’ supposed to be doing?”
That gives you some slight pause, how in the fuck did he know that it was your birthday? Before any serious question could be made, you were next to his truck on the passenger side. You look it over and say honestly, “Nice truck.”
“Thanks, do my best to take real good care of it, s’ seen some rough times.” You look a little closer, scrutinizing, if it had, you couldn’t tell, the thing looked clean and not a scratch on it. You turn and lean against it, you realize he had gotten some cups that were also sold at your work, he holds them out, “Mind holding these while I open this?”
You nod and take them out of his outstretched hand and watch as the last remainder of his cigarette was dropped and ground under the heel of his boot. He uncorks the bottle with ease, doesn’t spill any or cause it to overflow, which mildly impresses, you hold out the cups and he fills them. The bottle is set aside on the ground and after passing him his cup he asked “Any words to share?”
“Here’s to the weekend?” You offered up after a moment’s thought, and he said, “I’ll drink to that.” He knocks yours and his cups together, and you take a sip of the sweet and familiar fizzy alcoholic drink.
“Seriously the shift I had today was rough, so this is really nice, thank you-” Then you realize you don’t know his name, he clearly picks up on this and says, “Name’s Rusty. Rusty Nail.”
Immediately you figure it must be his CB handle, you wonder if Rusty is his real name, but also you don’t think it matters much, you don’t press, “Well thank you, Rusty, really.”
“S’ my pleasure. Heard how that woman was going off on you earlier, some people can be so rude.” Is that what prompted this? The total bitch who was freaking over leeks? If so, you think that maybe her being such a raging cunt wasn’t such a bad thing if it led to this.
Little did you know that Rusty had taken care of her, she was currently stuffed in the trunk of her own car, way, way on the other side of the lot, body long since gone cold.
The conversation then turned to you both complaining about a shared distaste for rude and unreasonable people, he let you vent about your day and previous horrible customers at your job. As the conversation went on, you find yourself enjoying his company more and more. You also find yourself standing closer to him, half the bottle gone, he’s had another smoke, and you are leaning on him much more than the truck, he doesn’t mind, you sigh to him, “I cannot believe the crap you have to put up with, it’s so unfair!”
“Some people have some really unsavoury and outdated views on people in my line of work.” He admits with a nod, and from what he’d shared it seemed like. There are people who say the meanest shit, make horrible assumptions, treat him like dirt or worse, a feeling you know all too well at your own job. You relate to Rusty.
You’d been talking for an hour, and it was even later, darker, and a shiver unexpectedly ran up your spine, “You cold?”
You were a little, you were in a t-shirt and after standing in one spot for so long this late the chill had somehow set in. “Yeah, surprisingly I am a bit.”
Then he made an interesting offer. “You want to get in my truck, warm up?”
You think you really did want that. “Yeah, that’d be great, actually.”
He moved back then and so did you, he opened the door for you, and you looked up, Christ it was big, how were you supposed to get in while in your slightly buzzed state without looking like a total clown? You feel him against your back, he asks, “Need some help?”
You nod, unsure of what he means or how he is going to help but trusting him all the same, it’s then that you feel his hands on you. He turns you, and then those same hands find your waist with ease and grip. He lifts you like you weigh nothing, and you realize to him, you probably do, as he helps hoist you into the passenger side of the truck. Rusty sits you on your ass in the seat and your face feels much hotter, he just scooped you up and set you down so fast, one simple and fluid motion as he stepped one foot up on the running board, and then there you were. You are side-saddle, legs dangling down and far off of the ground. His hands leave you quicker than you’d like, sliding off your waist and stepping back down. You are a bit dazed, his hand touches your ankle, and you jump, he laughs at your surprised, “What?”
“You wanna get your legs in, so I can close the door?” You nod and do so, swinging your legs in, and he shuts the door. Your hand, that had been clutching your bag and apron, dropped them on the floor by your feet. You look down into your cup, you hadn’t spilled any even when he picked you up, the cup is raised, you tip it back and swallow down the remainder. A sigh and you pull the cup back, hand still clutching it, comes to rest on your thigh as your thumb on your opposite hand swipes a stray drop from the corner of your mouth. He had come around to the other side, he has the door open and is sliding in beside you into the driver's seat, he’d picked up the bottle on the way, and you were contemplating asking for more.
As if reading your mind he gestures for your cup, you lean over, holding it out, and he pours you some more, you asked him, “So before, you were talking about all the bad stuff about truck driving, but what about the stuff you do like?”
The question seems to surprise him if his tone is any indication, “The stuff I do like?”
He has pulled the bottle back, he isn’t pouring more for himself, you respond to his question with another of your own, “Yeah, what makes the job worth it? Other than the money.”
Rusty considers the question for a moment before he says, “I like seein’ the country, like being by myself most of the time but most of all? Probably seems obvious, but the freedom of it.”
You nodded, it made sense and asked, “Can go anywhere, do anything?”
“S’actly.”
The silence is as surprisingly comfortable as the passenger seat of this truck is. The thought hits, and you say it without thinking, “I dunno how you do it.”
“What? Truck drivin’?” He asks, and you say with a turn to him, “Yeah! Like, the actual driving it.”
He laughs, and you press on, one hand holding your cup and the other making like you are gripping a steering wheel that was comically large, pretending to turn it, “Seriously! This thing is massive, it’s a beast! How can you control it?”
“Ain’t that hard really, just gotta be the right mix of careful and confident.” He assures, and you laugh, “You make it sound so easy, I’ve never driven anything this big, that-” You point out the window to your much less impressive ride, “-is my car over there.”
“Yeah, don’t quite measure up, does it?” He teases and you grin, “Nope. But I don’t think I could drive anything like this.”
“I think you could.” A small pause before he asks the big question, “Wanna try?”
You nearly choke on your sip and pull the cup back, wiping at your mouth, “What? Me? Drive the behemoth? You want to write it off that bad, Rusty?”
“You cannot be that bad a driver.” He scoffs.
“Rusty, you barely know me, I dunno-” He insists, “C’mon, I’ll help.”
“Help?”
You were curious enough to allow it to happen, you’d not counted on his idea of help being putting you in his lap. He’d moved the seat back enough and encouraged you to climb on, emboldened by both the drink and his encouragement, you slide on into the space he made. He moves the seat forward enough to do the pedals, and he places your hands on the wheel, his hands covering yours. “You sure this is a good idea?”
Nerves were setting in, you’d been drinking, not a lot but also all the close contact with him was getting to you, his attractiveness was apparent during your brief meeting earlier but now that you'd’ been getting to know him? He was becoming even more appealing, being sat in his lap, your back to his chest, his hands on yours, you felt flustered. Sounded by him in both touch and scent, it could be enough to make your head swim if you let it. In your current position, his voice is over your shoulder, “Positive. You’ll be fine.”
The tone of voice he says it in, the conviction, he makes you believe it.
One of his hands leaves yours briefly to start her up, the truck rumbles to life, and it makes you jump slightly, Christ it was loud and is vibrating like all Hell. “We’ll just do a lil’ loop, alright? M’ doing the pedals, you just steer her real easy.”
He had to speak louder to be heard over the hum of the truck, and you pitch your own volume up to be heard, “Yeah, real easy, can do.”
His foot comes down slowly, and he eases it forward, you grip the wheel tightly and let him lead. He talks you through the process, and it helps, you focus your eyes forward and your ears on listening to his smooth voice praising you, “Uh-huh, around the pole, use it as a guide.” You swallowed and nodded, brows knit together as he keeps talking, “Oh good job, see? You’re doing it.”
His hands squeeze yours reassuringly, your mouth feels dry, you nod and say quieter than you should, “Thanks.”
“No need to thank me, you’re doing most of the work.” You feel that isn’t truthful but again, he talks, you believe.
“Almost all the way around, a little further-” Both his hands leave yours, sliding down your arms and choosing to come to rest on your waist again, letting you fully be in control. It makes you tense, rushing out, “Rusty, wait-”
Another flex of his hands, another show of comfort, he says easily, drawling out, “Calm down, you’re doing it all yourself.”
You aren’t fully convinced until you’ve made the full loop, and he lets off the gas, he turns off the car and your shoulders slump, what he says next, makes you melt, “I told you. You’re perfect.”
That does something, makes a particular part of you break, or is it wake up? Either way, a certain section of you, somewhere aside, comes alive, and instead of wanting to run from it, you chose to grab onto the live wire of sensation with both hands. The truck has stopped, but you keep moving, the urge overcomes, and you turn in your seat and in his lap, one hand comes up, meets his cheek, feeling the rough stubble. He’d already gotten you the champagne, but you think you want more still, and you ask, “Can I be selfish?”
“S’ your birthday, be as selfish as you want to.” You take that is more than enough of an invitation. You lean up and in, push the brim of his hat up enough to give yourself the appropriate access, and you kiss him.
He had a feeling it was going this way, but thinking and experiencing are two different things. You choosing to take the lead was better than he could have been hoping for, though. Your mouth was so fucking soft, you felt warm, he tried to take it easy, but this is the kind of thing he can’t help getting swept up in. Chances like this don’t come around often, the urge to rush is present, he manages to ignore it, preferring to savour it, or rather, savour you. He lets himself relax further into the seat, returning your affection immediately.
The scratch of his facial hair against your skin feels better than you’d hoped it would, you let out a soft exhale, a sound on the precipice of a moan while still falling just short. His hands are still on your waist, he nudges you closer, you lean in more, your head tilts, his lips part, and he tastes more like cigarettes than he does the champagne, but it’s there. Your tongue makes the first exploration and sticky sweet fruit is unearthed from below smoke and ash.
One of his hands slides down, a brief pass over your thigh, and you wonder where it’s going, you realize in short order when the seat you are both on moves back, giving you more space, making it, so you aren’t quite as locked up against the steering wheel. Heat is sparking inside, your hand moves from his face, slipping to rest on his neck, your other hand comes up to his shoulder, fingers grip the jacket he has on and the want becomes too much. You grind down on him.
The shifting and adjusting allows you to feel how hard he was growing, a harsher inhale, and you begin to scramble, you want more contact, you move to be fully straddling him, no more twisting partially around like you currently were. You are seated just right soon enough, ass firmly planted, and you think fleetingly God he had some solid thighs, strong, you felt very well-supported.
The making out was only paused briefly while you changed position, you’d gotten right back into it, your mouth slotting back against his with a hum that sounded like his name. You grind again and this time he returns it, rutting up into you, and the friction makes you actually moan this time. The taste, the feeling, and two minutes more of making out is all it takes for you to break, pulling back once his touch had gotten bolder, one having slid up your body, palming one of your tits through your work shirt easily with how large his hands were. You arch into him, breaking the kiss you beg, “Fuck, Rusty, more.”
You are close enough now that you can see his smile as opposed to just hear it, his hand moves and starts to go under your shirt, rough fingers on bare skin and steadily moving up, brushing the edge of your bra. Not quite a laugh but more than an amused releasing of air, he asks, “More?”
A frantic nod, another squirm of your hips and he asks, “How much more? C’mon, tell me.”
He wants you to say it and you want it desperately enough that it’s no issue, far from it, if anything him making you say it, makes you want it more, makes you feel hotter. “Fuck me?”
“I like your directness.” Thank God for that. “Just have a lil more patience with me, alright?”
When he asks in that tone, you think you’d do just about anything. A small nod and he needs to get his fill of you just a hair more. Hands explore, groping, feeling, it teases both of you, trying to get a sense of your body before the clothes come off, mind running over just how you’ll feel with nothing in the way. You remain good, you let him feel, minimal squirming on your part, even when he starts kissing your neck as the hand that isn’t up your shirt kneads your ass. Only when you feel your underwear literally plastered to you and your cunt ache incessantly do you whine his name again.
He mercifully acquiesces, “Okay, okay, I hear you.”
He eases up, a gesture of his head for you to move to the passenger's seat, “Gonna need you out of those clothes for what you really want.”
You rush to comply. Once in the passenger's seat, sitting sideways, still facing him, looking at him, your hands catch the bottom hem of your shirt and as if anticipating that you intended to frantically tear it off, he stops you. One hand out and that sweet but firm tone, commanding, "Do it slowly."
Your face feels hot, and you do as instructed, slowing your movements right down, pulling the shirt up, exposing your stomach and then your bra. Higher and higher until you have taken it off, tossing it in the direction of your bag and apron. Next you have your thumbs hooked in the waist of your pants, arching your hips you start to slide them down, you watch him, try to gauge his reaction, but it’s hard in the low lighting. He gives a nod to show he’s pleased so far, encouraging you verbally too, “Go on.”
Shoes removed, pants follow, soon you are in just your underwear, and he speaks, a small gesture of your body, up and down, “S’ a good start but keep going.”
You reach behind yourself, start to unhook your bra, and he is still talking, “Dying to see the rest.”
You swear you can feel his eyes raking over every exposed inch of your skin. A small thought strikes, you follow it, slipping your arms out of the straps but holding the cups to your chest, an indulgent smile, a rise of your eyebrows, and he clicks his tongue, you play dumb and ask, “What?”
“You’re being a tease.” He states, and you ask in a tone of mock innocence, “Am I?”
He says more seriously. “Drop it.”
Unsure if he means your bra or the act, you chose to abandon both. You let the padded fabric slip out of your hands, a spread of your legs, you wonder if he can tell how wet you are from here. He moves too now, you weren’t expecting it, he falls to his knees in the space between your seat and his. Hands come to your hips and the sudden contact makes you jerk with a sharp inhale. His mouth catches yours in another kiss, you return it and moan, his mouth doesn’t stay on yours for long, trails down, jaw and neck, one on your shoulder and lower.
He is confident, he’s taking what he wants and you more than let him, you enjoy every rough scrape of his well worked hands, pass of his lips and nip of his teeth. His warm breath fanning over your chest is welcome, one hand has moved again, over your hip and now on your inner thigh, his thumb is close enough, and he runs it up you, swipes up your clothed slit. You sigh, eyes falling closed, relishing the contact, you are sure now he can feel how wet you are. He runs it back down and then up again, a press just right, and you moan between the friction on your clit and his mouth now on your chest.
He found it so easily and judging by the smile you can feel against the curve of your breast, he is just as pleased. Rusty abandons the current pleasant task, fingers hooking in your underwear, “I got a feelin’ it’d be a fight to get these off you too, an’ I just can’t wait.”
You couldn’t either, not anymore.
Assisting with a move of your ass up, he gets them off, and now you are naked in his semi-truck. You want to jump him, but he is holding you down by your thighs, taking in the view of you unobstructed, totally bare. “Fucking gorgeous.”
A hand reaches out, catches his jacket, and you tug as you tell him, “I feel really exposed right now, you wanna lose some of these?”
“S’ only fair.” He agrees, he removes his jacket and asks, “Wanna give me a little show while I fix myself?”
It is a request, but you take it like it’s an order. Hand between your spread legs, fingers trace up, catching ample wetness and spreading it up, circling sensitive tissue, making your thighs tense and a small moan fall from your lips. “There you go.”
The praise helps, you increase the pressure, and he hums in approval. Shirt is gone, belt is opened more and more revealed until he is in a similar state of undress. The view of him stripping all for you is insanely helpful. Pleasure is filling you easily and once he is ready he asks, “You mind if I-?”
“However you want me, please.” It leaves you needy and breathless. He steps in, he moves your hands away from yourself, and starts to adjust you to his liking. You like it, you think he can be rougher honestly, you are put on your knees, facing the passenger window, a hand on your back, adjusting you more, hips tilted up, and you feel him against you. The bump of his shaft between your thighs and over your clit is already very good. “Ready, yeah?”
A shaky nod, “Please Rusty-”
The one word and his name is all you are able to get out before he is lining up just right, you hold your breath in anticipation, he spits into his own hand, strokes himself, the extra lube as courtesy is appreciated. He slides in, and you let out a gasp, he doesn’t do it easily, taking you in one firm stroke, hand on your hips as his come to rest against your ass. He revels in you, the tight, soaked heat of you, his head tips back slightly as he soaks it before he starts to move. Pulling out halfway before driving forward, your hands scrabble for the window’s edge, you hold onto it like a lifeline as you gear up for what is already promising to be the ride of a lifetime.
His thrusting is firm, just like him, steady and sure, a good and even pace. It leaves breathless, not caring about being overheard, not like anyone could in the empty parking lot. A heavy breath from him, “Fucks sake, you’re soaked.”
You were moaning, incoherent pleas, along with his name, you were more than warmed up, each drag of his thick shaft in and out increasing the feeling. Fingers dig into the meat of your hips, he pulls you back as he drives forward, and you move too, rocking backwards to meet him. “Tight as Hell, can barely fit myself in here.”
“Keep talking, never, ever stop talking.” Is the one thought in your brain as you moan dumbly. You aren’t thinking much, unable, but you are feeling. Rusty was so kind to you, was totally turning your birthday around, making you feel incredible, spoiling you, and you want to do the same. His hands are roaming and that won’t do, you need to stop him before you are fucked into total submission and wrecked. Another minute, just another minute, you tell yourself, eyes are half open and brain hazy. The glass is so fogged up you can’t see out of it, could write your name but if he asked you doubted your hands would be steady enough. Could you even spell your name right now with what he was doing to you?
Finally, you reach back, hands on his hips, “Ru-Rusty, please, stop-”
“Something the matter?” He asked, holding deep, all the way to the hilt inside you. His hands smooth up your sides, fingers trace the curves of your chest before coming back down again, and you shiver, clenching on his shaft.
“Gotta, fuck, do something. Pull out?” He listens, he does so, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
The pet names, fucking Christ the pet names, you are forcing yourself to move. It happens quickly. You turn, and then you push him, so his back is against the seat of the driver's side. He takes the hint, sits up on the seat sideways, and then you are the one on your knees. Between his spread thighs, you lean down, a hand locks around the base of his shaft and you lick. He lets out a surprised groan, soft and sounding too good. You start to blow him in earnest, careful of your gag reflex as you work. Your hand slips up and down his slick shaft as you suck on the head, his hand comes down to your head, fingers twist in your hair, “Like tasting yourself?”
A nod as you moan against him, tongue swirls around the tip, and he watches enraptured, his hips buck slightly, and you gag almost immediately. He inhales through his teeth, “Sorry there.”
You brush him off, a gesture that it is fine, as you redouble your efforts. He seems to be enjoying it immensely, he is encouraging you further but soon asks, “Can you handle some more?”
For him, you want to try. You nod, and he guides you, does it slowly and easily, “Breathe through it-”
You do and the pace, his voice, it somehow works, and you’re able to take him deeper, “Pretty birthday girl. Takin’ it so well.”
All you wanted to do was please him, you continue the work for only a minute more, however because then he tells you, “I want you back up here.”
You jump at the chance. Same as before, you climb up him and straddle him, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see where this is going. “You didn’t have to do that.” He comments, and you have your hands on his biceps, currently sucking a hickey into his neck and teasing your dripping hole with the tip of his dick, “I know. I wanted to.”
“Could tell you were into it. You always wanna taste yourself like that?”
“Not always but it is-” You move your hips down, start to slide him inside with a moan, once he is buried inside of you again you finish the thought, “-a favourite.”
“Dirty girl.” He coos it like a compliment, and it hits you just like one, too. You start to ride, his hands on you help along with upward rocks of his hips. You bite and suck along his throat in between broken moans, the salt of his skin is a tad too addicting, as is the stretch of him inside and the way he brushes all the right spots inside of you at this angle.
Apparently it still isn’t good enough for him.
He tugs you closer, presses you so that way your clit is getting friction and ground with every thrust and bounce, your moans increase in volume in pitch along with the sensation. You had no clue this is how your day would shake out, if you did, maybe your shift would have been more bearable.
His hands are on your back, holding you close, fucking up into you as you are slamming down, and on a particularly good hit you are gasping. For two people fucking for the first time and relative strangers, you’d found a frighteningly good rhythm. Your body is moving on instinct, just chasing what feels good but still, thoughtlessly tinged with doing your best to please him, thankful for the moment that what seems to be getting him off is feeling incredible for you. It isn’t quite enough, though, and he seems to pick up on that.
“Lean back.” His voice snaps you out of your pleasure induced stupor, and you nod, separating yourself from him, the one point of contact still remaining your ass on his thighs and him stuffed deep inside. He directs you further, his hands help, and you find yourself with one hand on his knee, the other braced on the roof of the truck, feet on the seat on either side of him and with a confident nod you start moving again.
It’s good, you are able to hit spots inside yourself that are even deeper, using all your leg muscles as well as your hands it becomes more of a full body effort, minute adjustments can be made so too much strain is never on one part of your sweat slick frame. Soon as you are just right in the groove of it, he surprises you, why he wanted the change in position becomes all too clear. His hand is between your bodies and his thumb presses down, swirling over your clit, and it makes your pace falter, “Oh my fucking God-”
“Don’t stop now.” The way he says it makes a shiver run up your spine and again makes you clench down on him. He says it in the dominant tone of voice, but it’s light, that smug fucking half grin on his face, unable to tear his eyes away from your body. You shake your head, choking out, “Wo-won’t stop.”
“No, course you won’t, you’re so good at listening.” The praise washes over you with another sharp jolt of ecstasy. His hand that wasn’t working your nerves into a frenzy was on your thigh, sliding up, gripping your hip, “This workin’ for you?”
Fuck, was it ever. You nod frantically, focusing on breathing and not stopping riding him, but in short order, your movements were getting increasingly sloppy. It was like he didn’t have to ask, didn’t rush it, just let you work it out and helped carry you along. You were getting dangerously close, the edge creeping up at a blinding pace, everything you’d experienced so far this night was piling up and threatening to make you break apart at the seams. There were no real words, just hurried breathing and pitched moans, head back, nails digging into the fabric of the truck cab’s roof, the sound of skin on skin and his encouragement.
A soft call of your name, his hips moving up, grinding into you as his hand works and him asking in a mind meltingly hot tone, “I wanna see it, give it to me.”
And something about that, whether it is what he said or how he said it, causes the reaction inside to finally make it happen, like it clicks into place just right, and you go from a weak and barely audible strained whisper of, “I’m almost there!” To holy fucking shit, I’m, “-cumming!”
Riding as much became not an option, legs almost giving out, but he takes over, grip on your hip is bruising, hip strength impressive, and he drives up into you over and over. Your hand isn’t able to stay on the roof, caught midair, body tense as your climax rockets through your body, you think your hand on his knee might be drawing blood with your nails, but you can’t stop it nor can you care.
You jerk as it peaks, and he slips out, his fingers don’t stop until you are crying out and pushing him away, still trembling through the aftershocks. Your eyes were closed, you were panting and not even remotely down from his high when you feel the hot splatter on your tits and stomach with your name staining his tongue. Peaking back open, you see him, hand around himself, and he’d cum all over your torso. The pretty pearly white is sliding down, and his own breathing is very laboured. Your hand trails down, still shaky, skating through the mess he left, and then you're bringing those same fingers back up to taste him.
Your body relaxes against him, you get into a more comfortable position, and after you stop shuddering so much you are telling him, “That was pretty fucking great.”
“Oh, are you all done?” He asked as he looks up at you, hands are resting lazily on your thighs, tracing patterns absentmindedly. “I mean I thought we were but are we not?”
“We don’t gotta be. I’m in no rush.” The thought of that is extremely pleasant.
“Another drink till you’re ready to go again, old man?” You asked with a smile, and he laughs as he reaches over to where the bottle was left on the floor of his side of the truck. Thankfully it hadn’t been knocked over, “You get that one and only cuz you were so good.”
“Only one old man joke or one joke overall? Because I was gonna make one hoping that you aren’t passingly along tetanus to me Rusty, but if you’re planning to be a buzzkill-” He shuts you up with a hand on the back of your neck and a kiss that you end up humming into. Yeah, you think this has been a pretty solid birthday.
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Hey! First ever request, can i ask for a Luke Castellan x male reader where reader is an ill son of Ares and Luke nurses him back to health? Thank you lovely!!
Sorry, I Can’t Take Your Touch
YEARNING!!!
Ty for your patience anon!!
Warnings: stab wounds, slow burn, tension so hot it could burn someone, Luke, slightly suggestive?
This is post-betrayal, you’re a part of Kronos’ army
“I don’t need your help, Castellan.”
Those were the first words to come out of your mouth as Luke approached you with a first-aid kid, his darkened eyes glare down at you. You suck in a breath as you sit up from the blood-stained cot.
“Yes, you do, Y/L/N.” Luke’s voice is rough from the day of battle- screaming commands and demands. Anyone else would think he still looks confident, but you can see the exhaustion in his eyes. ‘He knows what he’s doing, this is his rebellion’ you tell yourself, if you were anyone but yourself you might believe your words. You know Luke, so much more than you know yourself even.
“No-“ You said, kicking a leg out to shove him away as he walks towards you. He dodges your attack with a swift step.
Leaning on the cot, his knee rests on your leg as he pins you down with one arm. “Stay.” He says, your witty response dies on your tongue.
He moves his arm to grab your waist, using his other hand to open the first-aid kit. He pours some rubbing alcohol on the deep cut, ignoring your wince. With a soft grunt, he shifts and pulls you up with him.
He starts to wrap the bandage-wrap around your mid-section, plush gauze and fluffy cotton over your wound.
“Where’d you learn this stuff, Luke?” You ask, soft words almost dying in the deep silence wracking through the room.
“These are just the basics, I picked it up from some Apollo’s kids before I left.” He says, Luke looks up at you- you’ve never called him by his first name. His eyes linger on you a beat too long, memorizing the concerned furrow of your eyebrows, the deep fire that lays beneath your eyes. Everything he loves about you. It’s like second-nature to him.
“You never learned, Y/N?” Hearing your name slip from his mouth felt so wrong yet so right, and you know you would give anything to hear him say it again.
“No,” you say. “No, I never wanted to.” Luke hums in response. After awhile of silence, he looks up at you, eyes looking over your form.
His lips are a hairbreadth away from yours, so close you can feel them but not close enough to be pressed against yours. It’s almost painful, the desire you have for him. The want, the need, to have him to yourself. To lock him away and keep him safe. Away from wars, away from commanding.
He pulls back, away from you, then stands up without a look at you.
“Rest, Y/N.” He says, voice deep and shadowed eyes not looking to you. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As he left, you sighed and fell deeper into the cot. You really should stop this before it begins.
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Hello! If I may, I’d like to make a request.
When I was little (between 4 and 8), my brother and I played Ocarina of Time constantly. It was our go-to game when hanging out. We replayed it and found all secrets and stuff. I was wondering if you could do a platonic self aware OOT!Link one shot? One where Link considers the player to be like a sibling to him since they grew up together in a way?
Thank you so much! I really enjoy your work ❤️
you're very welcome anon! this was such a sweet request to write!! I went with the post timeskip link for this seeing as I've already written one for Majora's mask link and I thought it would be more interesting to have that difference between the two pieces <3 I hope you'll enjoy this
[masterlist]
“Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask for a while… do you still have that old copy of Ocarina of time we used to play together? I’ve been kinda wanting to replay it. It’s a bit of a pain to get a new one or an emulator though so…”
“Uh? I think so, I can check in my attic later and drop it around your place tomorrow if I can?”
“That sounds perfect, thanks for the favour man.”
That was a fairly productive phone call, now I hopefully won’t have to mess about with an emulator or shell out for the subscription to play it again. Seeing as Nintendo doesn’t want to make their old catalogue accessible. All I need to do on my end is to wait and possibly google how to set up an N64 in the meantime.
Turns out that we did still have the old thing, and that it isn’t all that hard to set up either so it’s not like it takes too long for me to hear the calmingly melancholic tones of the game’s opening theme. Our old save file is still there too, although some of the stats on the file seem to have gotten a little bit corrupted because I’m convinced we completed it fully. Although it’s been what like 10 years or more since I would’ve last played, it makes sense that I might just be misremembering things. No harm in seeing where we left off though is there?
Well even though the file says otherwise, looking through Link’s inventory really wants to disprove that - there’s something with the same sprite as Zelda’s letter where it should just be an empty slot. It’s not got a name, if I hover over it it simply brings up a missing value error and the button prompt me to read it. It’s not like there’s any issue if I did open it, it’s an old save file so even if it does corrupt I won’t lose anything.
Nothing happened, just a fade to blank before it glitched out and the inventory screen popped back up so that I could close it and have a look around…
How did Link turn around as I was paused in the inventory and how did his face get so close to the screen?
“[Name]? I knew you’d be back at some point! I knew you wouldn’t just leave your older brother for good… you wouldn’t would you?”
“...How do you know my name..?”
I know that Ai has gotten incredibly good recently but this is an N64, an unmodded one at that, so whatever the hell is happening right now can’t be due to that. This feels like it could be the start to a creepypasta though with everything going on right now - is this like a real life ben drowned - no it can’t be, he’d be crying blood if it were the case and he wouldn’t be as friendly either.
“Because you told me it all those years ago when you first played through the game? You always spoke to me like I was a real person, like you saw me as your older brother, so it’s only natural that I started to see you like a little sibling right? Then when you disappeared I got so worried, It’s been so long but you’ve gotten so much older! Did you pull the mastersword yourself, because this much time can’t have really passed can it?... Can it?”
He looks almost like he’s about to cry, I should be caref- why am I so worried about hurting the feelings of a fictional character? Is it cause he sees me like a sibling, a younger one; because he knows me from when I was younger; or because he seems so attached to me already? Maybe I should just… turn it off so I don’t have to deal with it.
“I don’t remember how long it’s been, a good few years at least, Since I’ve played it. I wasn’t exactly planning to-”
“Is that what you used to control me!? I’ve never been able to get a good look at it before. Would you mind bringing it closer?”
“...Yeah I can bring it closer.”
The way he interrupted me was so so sad, he’s forcing himself to be cheery when he looks like he’s about to break down, like how an older brother would act. He really sees himself as my older brother doesn’t he? I have to admit that the way he’s leaning against the screen like an excited kid is also pretty cute I won’t lie to myself, if it weren’t for how insane the situation is I don’t think I’d mind him being my younger brother. He’s younger than me now anyway so that makes far more sense.
Is the screen cracking beneath him?
It’s definitely cracking under his weight, there are seconds left before it shatters.
“It’s so simple and yet it was the reason that you were able to-”
Glass can only last so long. And now he’s out, lying on my floor in a shocked heap with glass shards surrounding and covering him. After a couple of seconds of neither of us knowing what to do, we both snap into action at the same time, while I try to help him up and check for any serious wounds… he’s just laughing with the widest goofiest smile on his face, grabbing at my arms like I’m nothing but a wisp of a dream.
“I - wow I - I could never have imagined that I could - that this - that this was even an option for me…”
“But I can be your brother in person now can’t I?”
#ALSO AAAAAA#POSTING THIS I JUST SAW I'VE HIT 300 ON TUMBLR#I'm putting together an event for everyone right now that'll be up in the next couple of days#THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH <333#link x reader#yandere link#linked universe x reader#yandere linked universe x reader#yandere linked universe#moss✦writes#self aware au
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i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!
(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)
something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.
on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.
on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.
also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.
also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.
my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.
i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.
my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.
at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.
walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).
one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.
fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.
one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.
as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.
on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.
i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.
i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.
i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.
i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.
y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!
#bet you weren’t expecting an even longer post than my last one#i just have so much to say about this whole experience#i want to document EVERYTHING especially the stuff i haven’t seen other people mention#top surgery adventures#top surgery#trans man#transmasc
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hii I honestly really love your works and i really wanna read my imagination on a fanfic. So what if the reader just sleeps on sebastians bed, like they just returned after a long adventure then they had to research some of the stuff they found yada yada then the reader (fem if possible) just lays on his bed for a break but ends up sleeping there, next day she walks around hogwarts with sebastians smell and everyone just assumed they did the :)))) mc being flustered mess and tries to deny every accusations but sebastian just stands there smirking watching everything unfold.
dont ask why mc didn't shower (for story purposes pls)
Your wish is my command!
Not Helping (S.S)
I'm glad you enjoy! I might be posting the next fic a little late tomorrow, just so we know! Also, I put the reader into Slytherin, so she didn't have to sneak in, and also because Imelda needed a reason to embarrass the reader. Remember when Ominis spoke about having a toad? He's in here, like a little alarm clock <3 He's also tired of Sebastian, like always. Spot the fourth wall break too, here's a hint, it's not someone speaking, technically. I made a joke at myself lmao. Anyway, enjoy <3 (i listened to H.I.M the whole time i was writing)
You waved your hand, gesturing Sebastian to follow you as you crouched behind a table. He quickly tiptoed over to you, handing you the book he had snatched from one of the library’s shelves, smiling as you put it into your bag. You looked around as you searched for the door, motioning Sebastian to follow you as you hid behind a shelf. “So far, so good.” Sebastian whispered, smiling. You smiled back as you shook your head. “Don’t jinx it!” He shrugged as he continued to follow you through the maze of tables and shelves of books, checking behind him every now and then to make sure no one spotted the two of you from behind. You stopped, holding your arm out as Sebastian hit it, stopping as you pressed a finger to your lips. He nodded as he ducked lower, following your finger as you pointed to Peeves. The poltergeist floated down a row of shelves across from you, humming to himself. You waited until he had moved somewhere else, tugging on Sebastian’s sleeve as you began your escape again.
You breathed a sigh of relief as you quietly closed the door behind you, letting a yawn escape you. Sebastian smiled behind you, checking down the hall to see if there was anyone around. “Seems like we’re in the clear, let’s head back to the common room.” He whispered, walking down the hall. You nodded as you followed, reaching into your bag to take a look at the book you had taken. “What are your plans for this one?” You asked, studying the cover. It was about advanced potions, far more advanced than what you were studying now. He shrugged as he slowed down, walking beside you as he looked at the book in your hands. “Might be something of use in there, I didn’t exactly read it before snatching it, you know.” You shook your head as you placed the book back into your bag, yawning again as you turned down to another hall, the Slytherin common room at its end. “What time is it?” You asked, peeking out a window that you walked past. The stars hung in the dark sky, their bright glow unable to light the ground below them as the moon had disappeared, leaving the grounds of the castle invisible. Sebastian shrugged. “I didn’t take a look at the clock either, if that’s what you were hoping for.” You yawned again, watching Sebastian smile at you from the corner of your eye.
“Let’s not have late-night heists in the future, yeah?” You said, walking into the common room. Sebastian scoffed as he followed behind you, stretching his arms. “It can’t be that late. Perhaps you should get more sleep.” You shook your head as you walked over to the clock. “I would, if you stopped dragging me along to do Merlin knows.” You squinted at the clock, the room was dark, only a single fire in a hearth emitting light. You sighed as you brought your wand out, casting Lumos as you went back to studying the clock. “Sebastian!” You hissed, narrowing your eyes at him as he raised his hands in defense. “It’s past midnight! We have class in the morning, as we had Ominis promise to wait for us so he could find out what was in the book!” Sebastian walked over, grabbing your shoulder as he inspected the clock himself. “That can’t be right, we didn’t spend that much time there, did we?” You shook your head, sighing as you moved to make your way to Ominis’ and Sebastian’s dorm. “It doesn’t matter anymore, let’s brief Ominis and get to bed.” “Yes Ma’am.”
Ominis let out a frustrated sigh as the two of you walked into the room, arms crossed as he sat on his bed. “Took you two long enough, I figured you had gotten caught with how long you were gone.” He said, turning to the door. “Apologies, Ominis. Sebastian couldn’t figure out which book to pick.” You said, dropping your bag as you flopped onto Sebastian’s bed. Sebastian scoffed, reaching into your bag and pulling out the potions book, sitting down next to you as he flipped through the pages. “If you hadn’t been so scared of being caught, we would have been out earlier.” You shook your head as you rubbed your eyes. “Whatever you say, Sallow.” Ominis let out another frustrated sigh as he threw a pillow, missing Sebastian as it hit you in the face. “Ominis! What was that for?” You said, picking up the pillow as you frowned. Ominis let a small smile grace his lips as he bowed his head slightly. “My apologies, I meant to hit Sebastian.” Sebastian, who had been quietly chuckling, quickly dropped his smile. “Hey! What did I do?” Ominis shrugged, accepting the pillow back from you as you walked back to Sebastian’s bed. “Just read something from the book, I want to go to bed soon.” You nodded in agreement, moving to the head of the bed and hiding under the covers as Sebastian flipped through the pages.
“It says here, one of the most effective anti-venoms is the Draught of Living Death Antidote. This potion is particularly useful in countering the effects of the Draught of Living Death, a powerful sleeping potion that can render a person unconscious for days or even weeks.” Sebastian read, skimming down the page. You huffed in amusement, closing your eyes as you pulled the covers closer. “I could use one of those.” “The antidote or the potion itself?” “Both.” Ominis chuckled as he shook his head, hearing the slightly groggy tone in your voice as you tried to hide another yawn. Sebastian sighed, flipping through the pages. “Polyjuice potion, Wolfsbane, we’re not Werewolves, so we don’t need that.” You sighed as he continued to talk, shutting your eyes as the warm blankets beckoned you to sleep. “Ah, here’s one.” Sebastian said, reading from another page. “The Draught of Peace, a powerful calming potion that can ease anxiety and stress.” Ominis sighed, laying his head against his pillow. “Could use that during O.W.Ls, if you needed it.” Sebastian nodded, reading further. “Except there’s a problem.” “What’s that?” “The potion requires a careful balance of ingredients, including powdered moonstone, syrup of hellebore, and a measure of powdered unicorn horn. What even is a hellebore?” Ominis shrugged, covering his mouth as a yawn escaped him. “Y/n, would you be able to ask Poppy what that is?” Sebastian asked, turning to you.
Soft snores escaped you as you laid in the bed, asleep. Sebastian frowned as he moved to look at your face, scrunching his nose in confusion. “How can you be asleep during this? This is good information!” You still didn’t respond, instead turning over in your sleep as you tried to get comfortable. “Ominis, she’s asleep! I haven’t even gotten far in the book yet.” Sebastian complained, watching Ominis as he too slipped under the covers. “I’m glad one of us is asleep. Perhaps we should pick this up later?” Sebastian scoffed, frowning as Ominis turned away from him. Sighing, he put the book back into your bag and looked over to you, unsure what to do. He couldn’t just kick you out of his bed and send you off to your own; not when you were already asleep. He bit the inside of his cheek as he furrowed his brows, slowly reaching his hand out to shake you awake.
You glared at him through heavy eyes, sniffling as you tried to bury your face into the blankets. Sebastian smiled softly as he leaned over to whisper to you. “I won’t make you leave, but could you perhaps move over? This is still my bed, you know.” You stared at him, pondering his request. You shivered slightly as you shrugged, scooting over for Sebastian as he slipped under the covers. You closed your eyes again as you shivered, biting the inside of your cheeks as you quickly moved closer to Sebastian, burying your face into his shoulder as you tried to get warm. “You can’t be that cold.” He whispered, smirking at you. You huffed in response, beginning to move away from him before he rolled over, wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t need you freezing.” You hummed quietly, nuzzling your face into his chest as you fell back asleep; warm and comfortable.
Sebastian slowly opened his eyes as sunlight poured through a window, yawning as he tried to blink away the sleep from his eyes. The room was quiet, save for the small snores escaping you and Ominis. Sebastian burrowed his face into your hair, finding you turned over with your back against him. He looked over at a nearby clock, squinting as he tried to read the time. You had about an hour until classes started. He pulled you closer as he stretched, squeezing you in an attempt to wake you. You groaned as you straightened your arms, a small yawn escaping you as you tried to go back to sleep. “It’s time to get up, we have classes soon.” He whispered, poking you in the cheek with his free hand. You shook your head, another yawn leaving you. “Not right now, perhaps a few more minutes.” You sighed, rolling over and burying your face into Sebastian again, hiding away from the light. Sebastian shook his head, looking over to where Ominis slept, light snores emerging from the bundle of blankets. “Fine, since we’re all still in bed, a few more minutes.” He sighed, closing his eyes as he tightened his arms around you.
Ominis shook Sebastian awake as he tried to fix his tie, waking both of you up as he shouted. “Get up! I can’t believe you, keeping us up so late and not even having the courtesy to wake us up on time!” You sniffled, sitting up as you rubbed your eyes. “Ominis? What time is it?” Ominis sighed as he reached for his bag. “Late! We’d be lucky if we made it to class!” You looked over at the clock, quickly jumping out of bed and searching for your shoes and bag. Sebastian sat there, confused. “How do you know what time it is?” Ominis glared in his direction, scoffing. “In case you hadn’t noticed, my toad likes to have his own schedule. He’s been croaking for food for maybe ten minutes, and I always feed him right before we leave.” You smiled as you hopped around, trying to get your other shoe on. “I don’t have time for anything! No shower, no breakfast! Sebastian! Get up!” You shouted, almost falling over. He nodded quickly, slipping out of bed, and looking around. “I slept in my robes? I suppose I don’t have to worry about that then.” He said to himself, shrugging as he went for his shoes. You quickly slipped your bag over your shoulder, tapping your foot as you and Ominis waited at the door. “I’m coming, hold on!” Sebastian sighed, rubbing his eyes as he picked up his own bag, walking over to you.
You quickly walked down the halls as you made your way to charms, following Ominis as he muttered to himself about Sebastian and his need to do things at such late hours. He quickly slipped into the classroom ahead, and you looked over to Sebastian as he yawned again. “Wait!” You whispered, grabbing his sleeve as you pulled him away from the door. “Can’t it wait? We’re right there.” He sighed, watching as you set your bag down. “Your tie! It’s a mess!” You said, quickly fixing it as you bit the inside of your cheek. Sebastian stiffened up, eyes wide as he watched you smooth out his robes and tie before nodding and pulling him into the classroom. You quickly took your seat next to Natty, smiling as she greeted you. Professor Ronen appeared just moments later, signaling the start of class.
You sighed as you rested your head in your palm, holding back a yawn as you ate. Sebastian sat beside you, picking at his food as he glanced over at you, smirking as you shivered. “Getting a cold?” He asked, causing you to furrow your brows as you looked over at him. “Beg your pardon?” He chuckled as he poked your side. “You were awfully cuddly last night, shivering and all that. I’m not a doctor, but if you got me sick, I would make sure you suffered with me.” You shook your head, grabbing your drink and taking a sip. “So that’s where you were last night!” A voice sounded behind you, causing you to choke on your drink in surprise. Coughing, you turned around, frowning. “Imelda? What are you talking about?” Imelda looked between you and Sebastian, smirking. “When you passed by on your way to one of your classes, you smelled an awful lot like your friend here.” She said, gesturing to Sebastian. “Sebastian here has a distinct smell, like some sort of potion that he bathes in. Stinks up the whole common room, he does.” Sebastian frowned as he turned to Imelda. “I do not stink! I just naturally smell this nice.” Imelda shook her head, turning to you as she poked you in the chest. “You smell just like him, you know. Didn’t smell like that yesterday.” You felt your cheeks heat up as you glanced around, your fellow housemates nodding in agreement with Imelda. “I still don’t understand, Imelda.” You said, shaking your head as you looked up at her. Imelda held her smile as she leaned closer to you. “You didn’t come back to the dorm last night; your bed was still empty this morning.” You heated up more as your eyes widened. You hadn’t thought about what Imelda and your other dormmates would think if you didn’t show up in your bed, and now it was coming back to bite you.
“What are you implying, then?” You asked, narrowing your eyes. Imelda shrugged nonchalantly, smirking down at you as she gestured to Sebastian. “What else is there to imply? Such a scandalous girl, you are. You’re not good at hiding it either.” Your eyes widened as your breath got caught in your chest, cheeks turning a bright red. “Imelda! That’s absolutely not what happened!” You shouted, shaking your head frantically. “Oh yeah? Then what else could it be? Because people don’t just smell like other people for no reason you know. Nor do they cuddle at night.” You stuttered as you tried to explain, looking over at Sebastian as he smirked into his drink. “We did not- why would you even suggest that? I only fell asleep while hanging out! It was nothing like that!” You smacked Sebastian’s shoulder, motioning for him to explain. He only shrugged, smirking. “You snore a lot, you know.” “That’s not helping, Sebastian!” Imelda smirked as you continued to stutter, crossing her arms as she nodded toward Sebastian. “Someone’s not denying it, so what’s your next excuse?” You frowned at Imelda, heart racing as you tried to clear up the misunderstanding. “Ominis was there! He was hanging out with us!” You said, pointing over to Ominis.
Ominis nodded as he chewed his food. “She’s right. We were looking at a book, Sebastian decided that he wanted to stay up late. She fell asleep first.” Imelda quirked an eyebrow, smirking at you. “Couldn’t do it with your friend around? Sorry Ominis, but there’s no other explanation. Perhaps you were fast asleep?” Ominis scoffed as he shook his head. “As if. Sebastian fell asleep before I did. You think something like that would happen right next to me? I’d hex both of them.” You nodded your head as you shared an awkward smile. “See? Nothing happened! Mind out of the gutter, Imelda!” She shook her head as she patted your shoulder. She leaned down and whispered into your ear, poking your side. “You’ll need a better excuse next time. I expect you back tonight to tell us all about it.” She walked away, leaving you with your mouth open as you tried to comprehend what had just happened.
“Sebastian! Look what you’ve done!” You whispered, swatting at his shoulder as he went for another bite of his lunch. He shrugged as he looked over at you. “I didn’t do anything.” “Exactly!” Ominis shook his head as he took a sip of his drink. “I mean it, you two.” Sebastian frowned, furrowing his eyebrows as he turned to Ominis. “Mean what, exactly?” “That I’ll hex you both if you tried something like that near me. My toad could use some friends.” “That’s not going to happen, Ominis!” “Not yet.” “Shut! Up! Sebastian!”
#sebastian sallow fluff#sebastian sallow imagine#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy fluff#hogwarts legacy imagine#ominis gaunt#imelda reyes#they share a bed omg#hogwarts legacy#harry potter imagine#tooth rotting fluff#Ominis pls don't hex anyone
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hi! are you planning to write more of de-aged max bc he is just so cute it’s giving me a heart attack. saw a tiktok the other day w photos of baby max and all i could think about was this verse!!!!! ahhh lysm
Thank you!!! Here is a little bit more, in honour of grown up Max's adventures with colouring in.
(Hopefully this link shows the stuff I’ve already posted in chronological order. But anyway, this bit follows directly on from this part.)
It has been five full days since a seven year old Max showed up at Daniel's door in too-big clothes and holding out a little card with Daniel's name carefully printed on it in grown up Max's blocky handwriting. Baby Max shows no signs of going big again. He follows Daniel around his apartment, looks at his flag book, and plays with the Jimmy or Sassy cats — no further narrowing down of cat identity has occurred, due to Daniel having little to no interest in identifying cat penises, and grown up Max's complete fucking inability to put his fucking cat names on a fucking collar, or, indeed, to have informed Daniel of his Go Small plans at any point in the past three fucking years, but that's fine, Daniel is fine with this responsibility. Max has wet the bed every night and Daniel is just having to cross his fingers that he's not making everything worse by each and every decision he makes.
Anyway: if grown up Max doesn't show up again extremely soon, Daniel's going to have to bite the bullet and call Christian and tell him Max isn't going to be able to race. Max will hate that when he's back, if Daniel brakes too soon and makes the call, and more than that, it's going to turn baby Max into a Thing, and if there's one thing Daniel has learned in the last five days, it's that Max one hundred percent does not want to be a thing of any kind.
So, it's time for Emergency Measures. Maybe what will kickstart baby Max back into adulthood in time for his next race will be a race track, and go-karting. Daniel takes advantage of Max being distracted by his coloured pencils in the living room to google nearby karting tracks, and sends the nearest one a message to see if he could book out the whole track for a private session. The answer comes back with an immediate yes, which is probably in some part due to the figure Daniel had dropped in his message about how much he's willing to pay for the privilege.
He leans against the doorframe into the living room. Max is concentrating very closely on his colouring book, his coloured pencils all out on the coffee table. A little something in Daniel's chest shifts a bit.
"Maxy-Max," Daniel says, half way through his email response to the karting track. "Would you like to go karting tomorrow?"
There is a pause. "No, thank you, Daniel." Max does not look up from his colouring book, nor does he stop colouring.
Daniel also pauses. Max's little fingers hold onto his pencil tighter. He's pressing down hard on the picture.
"Okay," Daniel says. "Would you like to go another day, if we don't go tomorrow?"
"No, thank you, Daniel," Max says again. He still doesn't look up. His pencil might tear through the paper soon.
Daniel's been reading up on Going Small. Well, googling randomly when he can't sleep. Most people tend to think about Going Small as a way of connecting with your kid self, like… remembering who you once were in case maybe you wanted to stop being such a cunt or that you always wanted to sew clothes or build bridges and maybe your hedge fund job isn't as fulfilling as you maybe thought it was. Some people say it's as much for the people around you as it is about you, but whatever. Daniel had had a great fucking time in the pit lane six years ago, he remembers that much, although the detail has always been fuzzy. Like it happened a very long time ago. But there's another school of thought, one about the kids that don't age back up after a day or a couple of days, the kids who maybe lost a part of their childhood the first time around. Daniel's never met anyone who stayed small longer than a couple of days though, and it's so rare that the theory could be complete bollocks, and no one would ever know anyway. You can't battle data against the universe, it's not like race strategy. There's no science to it.
Max continues not to look at him. He's colouring the same line over and over again.
Daniel closes his email app, and slips his phone into his pocket. "Can I come and colour with you?"
Max nods, but doesn't look up. His fingertips are white around his pencil. He's used it down to the nub so that it's almost too blunt to colour with.
Daniel tries to sit down on Max's right side, but Max shakes his head and makes him come and sit on his left. Daniel positions himself cross-legged by the coffee table and it becomes clear just why Max wanted him this side when, a moment later, Max's little hand slips into Daniel's bigger one. Daniel does not now have a hand to colour with, but maybe it doesn't matter, because Max is colouring with enough concentration for the two of them, a big picture of a train with a cat sitting in the window next to the driver. He's being very careful. He still doesn't look up.
One of the Jimmy or Sassys wanders over to curl up by Max's little Pikachu-socked foot. The other one, the one who doesn't like being petted as much and prefers to watch you in a creepy and furry way while you're doing perfectly normal things sitting on the toilet or in the shower, perches on top of Daniel's shelves and stares at them.
Max's grip on his pencil loosens a little. Daniel leans over and kisses the top of his head. "You're very good at colouring," he tells Max. "We can cut out ones you've finished and put them up on the wall, if you'd like."
Max looks at him then, his eyes big and wide. "My pictures?"
"Your pictures," Daniel agrees. He reaches for the Pikachu pencil sharpener in the middle of the table. "Can I sharpen your pencil for you?"
Max dutifully hands him his blue pencil. His eyes are still shining, even though Daniel's had to stop holding his hand so that he can sharpen it for him. When he hands it back, all sharp, Max tucks his hand into Daniel's again.
"You've done some good colouring in of this train," Daniel says. "Have you been on a train, Maxy-Max?"
Max shakes his head.
"Would you like to go on one?"
Max's eyes widen. "A train?"
"Yeah," Daniel nods. "If you'd like, we can go and find a train to go on tomorrow. If you want to. We can take Pikachu."
"But not the Jimmy or Sassys," Max says, frowning. "They would not like the train and they might get lost."
"No," Daniel agrees. "The Jimmy or Sassy cats can stay here."
"There is a cat in my train picture but it is not our cats."
"No," Daniel says. "So, should we go on a train tomorrow?"
"Yes, please, Daniel," Max says, in satisfaction.
Daniel watches him colour even as he's avoiding texting Christian to let him know Max has gone small and isn't getting big again. He follows up on his avoidance by ordering a night light for Max's bedroom and one for the bathroom, in case his little boy is frightened of the dark and is too scared to say. He pays extra for same-day delivery.
He'll call Christian later, when Max is in bed. Instead, he googles train stations, and train timetables, and puts together a plan for the morning.
Max keeps his hand tucked into Daniel's, carries on colouring, and doesn't let go.
Thank you so much to Zoe @flawlessassholes for giving this a pre-post read through, and for consistently being interested in all baby Max lore!
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Toji the Softie pt.2
Pt.1 : https://www.tumblr.com/idontknow-andyoudonteither/740171522886500352/toji-the-softie?source=share
For the first time in a long time Toji genuinely felt relaxed. He was often unbothered by most things, and never really afraid either. He was pretty patient too, especially with his line of work. But relaxed? That wasn’t something he had the luxury of immersing himself in fully often. Ever since he had started hanging out with his upstairs neighbor though, Toji was starting to get more comfortable fully relaxing. He didn’t have to focus on who he was going to fight next, or if he was going to have to deal with the Zenin clan. He didn’t have to worry about cursed spirits, or money problems, he could just be. Most people want to know all about Toji and his past. But whenever he’s with you none of that matters, you’re in a vacuum where only what’s present exists.
“Well I’ll be back to bother you tomorrow, I’ve gotta work out.” He said as he sat up and stretched. He didn’t want to linger in this feeling too long, because he didn’t want to be let down. He wanted to bottle this feeling, and drink it at night before bed. “Of course, I’m going to the store in the morning, but afterwards I’ll be here.” You said as you walked him to the door. He watched you as you walked, and he loved the way you looked leading him. He wished he was walking to your bedroom rather than your front door, but he had a job to do, and it wouldn’t get done cuddling and kissing grapes. As he walked down the hall back to his place, he began to think about what it would be like to live with you. Would you sit in the room with him while he worked out? Would you be in the kitchen making him a post- workout snack with the cat? He laughed to himself as he walked into his place. You had even got him to like cats. Your cat didn’t like him at first, and the feeling was mutual, but he tolerated Fluffy so he could cuddle up to you. Eventually he even enjoyed Fluffy’s soft fur against him, like a heated blanket that vibrated. It was like Fluffy always knew where he was sore, and would try and heal him with his purrs.
As Toji climbed into bed, he imagined what it would be like to sleep with you in his arms. He wondered just how comfortable you were with him. You had accepted the grape much to his delight, and it made him feel like something was finally put in its proper place. He wanted to get closer to you, but he wanted to take his time. You were a safe space for him, and he wouldn’t dare do anything to jeopardize that. Also he knew your type. You were easy to read, but only because you felt comfortable with him. To anyone you didn’t want close, they wouldn’t see much in your actions. Toji however had an insider’s look on how you lived your life. He treasured that window into your life, because it allowed him to feel what he couldn’t give to himself. You were comforting, beautiful, smart, and ambitious.
When he woke up Toji started his day with a run. It felt good to push his body to a new limit, allowed him to expel some energy he had stored up. After his run he went to do some target practice. As he hit bulls eye after bulls eye his mind drifted to thoughts of his plans for the rest of the day. He had errands to run, and he was determined to finish on time, because he wanted to see you today. After target practice he decides to text you on his way home.
Hey you still out at the market?
Yeah what’s up?
He wants to tell you to grab some stuff for dinner, but figures its better to just surprise you.
Grab some more of those grapes :)
Will you eat them all again?
Toji would let you have every last grape if he could watch you eat them. He would savor every moment, just as you savor every grape. He would give you a kiss for each grape making sure not to miss anywhere on your body. But he figures saying that might freak you out if he said that, so he settles for something less committal; You can have some…………. If I can feed them to you. Toji finishes his errands, and begins cooking. While the curry thickened, he cleaned up around his place a little bit, making sure to check in and adjust the flavor when necessary. When he felt his place looked presentable he texted you a door emoji. That’s new what does that mean? you responded. Come down here and see ;) Toji responded. A few minutes later he heard a knock at the door. He smiled as he opened the door, and your expression made him smile even harder. You looked so suspicious of him, but in a playful way like a kid who knows their friend is going to prank them.
“Welcome to my humble abode.” Toji said as you stepped in and he closed the door. “Please make yourself comfortable dinner is almost ready.” “What’s going on Toji?” you asked as you nervously stepped toward the couch. “I figured we would do something different tonight, I want to thank you for how hospitable you’ve been these past few weeks, and for all the snacks I ate.” Toji said turning off the fire and coming to join you on the couch. “Do you want anything to drink? I can get some sake or some tea for you.” Toji says leaning forward in his seat. He felt so eager to take care of you; he wanted to make you feel at home so that when he made his request later you couldn’t refuse him. He couldn’t bare it if you did. He needed you to stay.
#toji#toji fushiguro#jjk#teddy bear toji#toji fluff#jjk fluff#toji x reader#toji x you#toji fanfic#jjk fanfic
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