#might change as it gets bigger that thats the truth right now

[splinterclan]

i really sympathise with bess in this situation. she's too uncomfortable to be with her kids bc of moorsnow and whorlstar's decision and cedar has no say in the entire situation. i understand why they would be concerned with the apprentices leaving clan territory [vinepaw] but like. wouldn't cedarheart be more effected by that?? his nephew almost drowning?? he would care more than moorsnow would. she may be deputy but this is obviously a family issue bro. moor and whorl aren't terrible people but the kids should get to see their mom without being held as bargaining chips. bess is obviously uncomfortably with clan life and would freak out if she had to be supervised when being with her own kids when she's done absolutely nothing wrong in the first place. its also unfair to the kids, suddenly cutting them off from their mother and leaving them estranged. i dont rly see many others sharing this opinion so im worried im reading this wrong but bess is a good person and uhh i really like her and think she is completely justified and right

There is def more scenes to be shown that will include Bess and more on what she's like - and you can like her all you want!! I don't think of her as a villian and she certainly thinks she's in the right here (and has reasons behind what she does) just as much as Whorl thinks she's in the right. It's a grey-ish situation

I do disagree with Moor/Whorl being unable to care just as much about Vine/the other kits just bc they aren't blood related though. Family is not just who's blood you have and love isn't generated just by being related to someone xD They absolutely love those kits every ounce as much as Cedar does

[cadencelistic]

okay dookie.. hear me out on this one,I've been cooking this idea in my mind for far too long, please bring it justice.

sooo- reader is on board the tulpar with the crew, they're a happy-go-lucky cheerful individual with an extremely charismatic personality and are jaw-droppingly attractive. ( Glazing ik forgive me )

here comes the twist,just by pure luck or by some coincidence or the other,the crew finds out that the reader was a very very very popular model in the past.

[ they found some of their old MAGAZINES/PORNOS ]

not just any model- playboy/gravure models who used to be incredibly popular and and a hotshot,but left that career in the past to focus on bigger things in space.

How would the crew react? Or behave towards them after finding out about their past? Would they be attracted towards her? Please I need to know you write so well

Uhhhmmm uhmmmmm. . Ookayyyy..... Okay.

Imagine how Curly felt when he found out the new worker, WHO HE DID NOT LOOK UP AND DOWN BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S NOT A PERVERT BECAUSE HES MY HUSBAND YOU DIPSHIT, was a model! Plus, he can see your tits too. I guess, he came back to Earth and was just browsing around a random shop when he found the magazine. Usually, he doesn't even bat an eye at them because let me say this again HE'S NOT A WEIRDO. Not to say that all people who buy revealing girl magazines are weirdos (they are). But he saw your face and was so shocked. Like, wow! He doesn't confront you about it. The first time he saw you after he saw the magazine, Curly stares you up and down with the image of your bare body with a bikini on. Of course, when you're not looking. This only happened a few times before he got used to it. People change, and he doesn't have the right to pry into their personal life. If you do tell him about your old job, he wouldn't be super... Surprised. I can't tell if he'd tell you that he already knew or he'd just act like he didn't. You choose.

JIMMY, might be ecstatic. First time he saw you, pretty face, pretty body, oh he is PLOTTING. I'm sorry, it's the truth. Now, he's found a magazine of you! YOU! Basically naked. When he found that magazine, he fucking stole it. 1. He doesn't want to be known as those guys, 2. In this economy? For a fancy paged excuse of a book? Yeah, no. Sometimes masturbates to it. Jimmy would definitely use it as blackmail if you don't want people finding out about your old job. Might even use it to get into your pants.

Okay so, I've got two perspectives on this for Swansea. First, you're a young model. Maybe he thought you were a pretty face, but it doesn't affect him that much. Pretty girls are everywhere, he doesn't need to get a boner about. When he saw the magazine, he didn't give a shit. Hes too old to care, but if you tell him, he'll say that he already knew.

Second, if you're around the same age and used to be a model in your 20s but wanted to try out a new job. Swansea thought you were quite youthful and pretty for your age (he's jealous), but still doesn't think much of it until he hears your name. Of course, young Swansea, imo, wasn't into magazines as well. But, he definitely knows the names of a few models. Who says his old friends weren't weirdos? Then he just brushes it off like, "Nah, probably a coincidence. Millions and billions of people are living in the universe, there's bound to be someone with the same name". Then when you tell him, he's like... A little shocked... But goes back to work. Thats all.

Daisuke already knows. DON'T TELL ME THAT HE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW WHEN YOU CAME IN. I have a feeling that he's either really into the news of celebrities (Oh, no! Y/N quits modeling at age __?!???? Outrageous!!!) or his friends told him. Within a few moments, Daisuke is already up to you, asking if youre Y/N. Gets a pic and an autograph, and now he's happy. Yay >3<!!!

Anya, i think would also kind of know a few models. But only the really popular ones. She strikes me as a person who used to daydream of being as pretty as the girls on the cover, but then grew out of it. I don't think shes an insecure person if we're talking about looks. When she sees you, she definitely notices that you're pretty, but won't say much about it. Maybe a compliment, but that's all. Probably won't notice that you're one of the girls on the cover, but when she does, she kinda just... Doesn't say anything. Again, I don't think she thinks it's her business. If you tell her when she already knows, she'll just calmly say that she knew. If she didn't know until then, she'll probably be a little shocked but thats all. Nothing extravagant.

[ultimateempath]

Welcome Home Theory

ALRIGHT SO. I've had a thought about what's going on in the world of Welcome home for a while, and this newest update gave me a little more to work with so I'll finally be sharing my thoughts.

I personally believe that Home itself is not evil, but that it is being used as a vessel by the unknown entity that affected the puppets and caused whatever incident that got the show shut down.

As we've seen, there's a massive swirling pit beneath Home that appeared to be getting bigger. I think what happened is that the Playfellow Workshop made the terrible mistake, intentional or not, of building the set for Welcome Home right on top of some kind of paranormal hotspot, triggering that pit to begin forming and Home to be taken over by the entity released from it.

Wally, as the one living within Home and right on top of the pit, was the first be affected and 'wake up' as it were. He was the first to become sentient, the first to realize the truth of their existence...and he is/was the worst equipped to handle it. He was supposed to be the child stand-in, the one learning lessons from the others. Now he's stuck as the one trying to "help" them, trying to reach out, to bring their show back, to fix it. I don't know if he's intentionally coming off as malicious about it though, for now it's unclear if he's genuinely trying to help or if the entity is controlling his actions in some way.

Eddie and Frank appear to be the next two to 'wake up'. We don't know what exactly happened with Frank yet, but it's clear from him switching from 'Mr. Dear' to a hushed 'Eddie' in the homewarming video that he became sentient as well and is aware of the need to stay in-character. As for Eddie, we saw it happen with our own eyes. He finally gets to relax for the first time, perhaps seen as 'breaking character', and immediately experiences some kind of dissociation and hellish realization complete with Home ominously staring into him.

Eddie is strangely not present in the new content on the main 'innocent' website. While he simply may have been busy during these particular escapades, it's also possible he was removed from the main cast for some unknown reason. My guess is that it would be due to either something with his and Franks relationship, or possibly because Eddie and/or Frank ended up breaking character too much, likely out of concern for one another, and Playfellow and/or the entity responded by getting rid of Eddie. Wether his puppet was sent elsewhere or he was straight up murdered is another unknown, if he was in fact removed like we think.

The rest of the puppets don't appear to be sentient yet at this point in the story, but that will most definitely change as time goes on. I believe the change from cartoon hands to puppet hands may be a clue as well since Wally and Eddie are currently the only ones we've seen with puppet hands and Eddie's changed during his hellish epiphany. So if we see the animated povs of other characters, it's a good idea to keep a look out for that switch to puppet hands.

My final note: the new website can't stay uncorrupted for long, I'm certain we'll hear from Wally and/or the others again at some point.

Thats all for now, just wanted to share my thoughts on what might be going on. Sorry if I'm late to this particular line of thought.

Edit:fixed a typo and tweaked my phrasing in one section.

[lovejosephquinn]

I'm standing in front of a dilemma, and i don't know what to do.

The situation: So just a couple of days ago a friend of mine send me a snap of a girl I've been hanging around with too for a few times. I send her the message "my crush on (the girls name, lets call her ruby) ruby is getting bigger and bigger with every second" to that my friend (we call her here toni) toni replyed "yeah she's been crushing on you too now for a couple of month", so I asked for rubys snapchat and we started to text on there, now we're chatting per massenger. We've been sending compliments and all that basic smalltalk and I really like her. Yk I have a CRUSH on her. Thats the dilemma, she is just a crush for me.

The thing here is we are both already in too deep to know that the other one is somehow attracted to the other BUT i don't know if I should tell her right away "look I'm not ready for a realtionship but I wanna keep talking to you because i really like you". Here I'm afraid that she might think I'm a narcisstic manipulative a hole who wants her sticking around for my own good. NO i'm just not ready for a relationship, it makes me feel uncomfy.

I don't know what to do.

It seems like a tough one because you’re the one stuck in the middle of the situation. If it’s just a crush and you want to take things slow that’s okay, if you want to pursue further later down the line and she’s still cool with it, that’s also okay.

You can’t keep your feelings in because it’s not a good thing to do because that’s when it ends in tragedy or arguments so you just need to come out with the truth in the nicest way possible, that is honestly the best thing to do now.

She might go off about it, she might be okay with it, but either way you’re the better person and later down the line if she tried to use some form of reasoning against you, you’d already told her from the start and then you won’t lose. She might be hurt if she’s a little further along in the feelings but she’ll get over it quicker if you tell her now.

I promise either way it’ll work out and if not then you know it wasn’t meant to be. People can either agree or disagree, you can’t change their minds unfortunately; but at least you’ll have spoken your mind and it’ll take a weight off your shoulders.

Good luck 🥰

[gibbearish]

im adding my tags here so i can respond to prev's

mine:

#id always assumed it was yknow just a mix of things #and like nuance disclaimers thats still true yada yada thats not the point rn #but im thinking now that its more about. the weight #you have to be perfect. you have to be the ideal. you have to carry yourself perfectly and embody every principle youre trying to teach #you are responsible for other peoples ability to be happy‚ not just in how your action effect them here and now but #in what ripple effects any and everything you say could have #you are the authority figure‚ other people will listen to what you say‚ you can change the course of their entire lives #of course that would weigh on a person. how couldnt it #and how could you ever turn it off #how could you ever let yourself just be a person‚ messy and imperfect‚ when you know so intimately the ramifications of things like that? #and yet how couldnt you when you know that no one can be 'on' like that all the time? #do therapists actually go to therapy? or do they go to a support group in everything but name? surely the person #theyre talking too feels the same pressure‚ if not moreso #a part of me wonders how much it can really help‚ then‚ preaching to the choir. but a bigger part of me knows better #knows that the only difference between the choir and the rest of the congregation is the willingness to sing in front of others #either way‚ your audience already knows and agrees. its just a question of which direction youre facing

and prevs:

#I think this pressure exists in many careers #The truth is that we are each a node in a network #And have tremendous power to influence other nodes #So in for example #Tech support #People come to you when they need help and trust your word as the expert #They change their plans #Reorganize their day #Alter processes #Based on your recommendation #And sloppy work can have ripple effects through out a whole company #Destroy a website #Lose data #All kinds of things that are so important and so fragile #And other people trusting you to be kind and do what's right and have their best interests at heart #How important to be loving as a banker #As a chef #As a teacher

i wanted to respond to these because while i feel like this is kinda getting what i was going for, it's missing the big main point. because like, yes, we should be kind bc we never know who it could effect. but like. an IT expert is an expert in IT, and thats all you expect from them. and yes, things can ripple effect, all actions have consequences, but itll still probably stay within that sphere. a banker is an expert in banking, a chef is an expert in cooking, a teacher is an expert in teaching but each of those are for a specific subject. whereas a therapists job is to teach people, like. the "right" way to exist. How To Be Happy. if a banker is an expert in banking, a therapist is supposed to be an expert in... existing correctly. if your IT technician gives you bad information, you might break the thing youre trying to fix. but if the thing youre trying to fix is your Entire Life, that is. an entirely different set of expectations.

a broken appliance can be replaced. a dead patient cannot. and even without those stakes, you can still fundamentally alter the way a person views the world around them because They Will Trust That You Know The Best Way To View The World Because You Are A Therapist And That Is Your Job. your banker can have an influence on your worldview, of course, but you dont go to them for the purpose of changing your life, you don't go into it EXPECTING them to fix you. and if they give you bad life advice, oh well, theyre a banker, its not their job to be right about those things.

your job as a banker is to bank. your job as a therapist is to teach people how to live their lives altogether. those specific expectations are what i was talking about here, not just the general potential to influence the lives of those around you. those specific expectations, and the knowledge that if you tried to discuss it with anyone outside of your group, the reaction would be... well, would be this. would be "oh yeah, we all go through that actually." and knowing that its not intended to be dismissive, knowing its intended as an attempt at connection over shared hardships, and THAT knowledge making it hurt all the more because those layers of knowing are exactly what makes it hurt in the first place. what makes it so heavy.

you expect a banker to be good at banking. if they do other things inefficiently or react poorly to something, you understand, because thats not their job. but a therapists job is life itself. thats what i meant by "how could you ever turn it off," is that if the people around you know that your job is teaching people how to handle life's problems well, then you. can never handle anything less than perfect ever again, because how could you expect yourself to be an authority figure when you cant even live up to your own standards? how can you not live in fear of "arent you supposed to know better? this is like, your whole job isnt it?" at the slightest misstep? how can you allow yourself to let go and lower your standards, be off the clock, when the whole point of your job is teaching people to be more aware of the world around them and their influence on it? how can you let yourself exist and make mistakes when every single day you so closely work with and witness the aftermath of things like that? how could you not be constantly on edge trying to micromanage the ripples you do send out?

im not saying other positions cant have wide influence. what i am saying, though, is that when a position has such intense influence built into its core purpose, that is going to have a very specific effect on a person that a less personal/powerful influence would not.

an IT guy can fix your computer. a computer has instructions and build specifications and standardization and backups and a specific way it is meant to run. people don't. and that looks, to me, like a different weight entirely. losing data, losing a day of processing, losing a whole company, these are all heavy things, but they are tangible things, replacable things, THINGS. the weight of a person's psyche, though, their whole entire self, right there in the palm of your hand? the way they view the world around them, the way they view themselves? what could be heavier than that?

its occuring to me what specifically it is that therapists go to therapy for

[watchmegetobsessed]

Floating Through Space - Harry Styles

a/n: im literally bursting from excitement over this, i’ve been working on this fic for so long and im pretty satisfied with how it turned out so i hope you’ll like it too! pleas please PLEASE don’t let this flop bc it means a lot to me 🥺 the song featured in the fic is obviously an existing one, i linked it into the right place so you can listen to it and get the vibe of it, that song is what inspired the whole story so i recommend giving it a listen! leave your thoughts and reactions, i can’t wait to read what you thought about the fic!!

pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader

warning: drug use, smut and everything thats wrong with patriarchy lmao

word count: 25.7k

masterlist

This dressing room is no different than the other one thousand you’ve been to. The plaster on the wall is all cracked up, the red bricks peeking from under it in the corner, the dusty couch looks like it’s been through hell and just sitting on it would probably give you STDs. The mirror on the wall is cracked, the few water bottles you’ve gotten are not even cooled, they’re a warm room temperature. The glorious life of a musician, right?

Moments like this you question why you didn’t just choose to be the obedient daughter and became a surgeon like your parents always wanted you to be. You’d have a steady future and a nice income, a decent career instead of having to perform at a different bar every other night for nicks and pennies that barely cover your rent at the end of the month. But that wouldn’t be you. Wearing scrubs, smiling at patients, throwing out your dignity along with your dreams, you wouldn’t have been true to yourself if you chose that life. Besides, you’d still be in school, barely nearing the halfpoint of your education if you decided to go along with your parents’ plan and it’s clearer than daylight that the school system is just not for you. It would be pure torture if you had to sit in classes for a decade just to work a job you never even wanted.

Looking around the small dressing room you cast your eyes over your band that consists of three people. It’s a temporary set up from three guys you met along your way, all of the struggling musicians as you and you saw the as opportunities. Places would rather have a band play with several men in it than just put one single woman on stage and pray for the best. It’s the sexist part of the industry not enough people talk about. You can’t even count how many pitying stares you’ve gotten through the years when you stated that you want to make a career as a solo female singer.

“Honey, you ain’t making it without at least one man behind you,” is what they’ve always told you. So you’ve gotten yourself three until you could stand on your own two feet without a male backup. You’re using them just as much as they are using you. They were already a band when you joined them, the lead singer just disappeared to thin air with her boyfriend and left them incomplete, so you joined forces to navigate your way together in the depth of the music industry, looking for that big jump everyone is dreaming about.

Standing in front of the cracked mirror you fix your eyeliner, checking yourself once again. Your thrifted checkered suit looks radiant on you especially with the neon green see-through top underneath, showing off a black bralette. It’s a male suit, hanging a little baggy on you at places, but you still feel like you’re pulling off the look. Your thick eyeliner makes your eyes appear even bigger than they already are and your hair is in an unruly mop of curls, making your appearance complete.

You’ve received tons of critiques over your outfits, but they are the only thing you are not changing on yourself.

“Don’t wear men’s pants.”

“You’d look better in a dress.”

“Why do you look like a guy?”

“What a shame to hide such a gorgeous body in clothes that weren’t meant for girls.”

Each and every comment is burned into your mind forever and you’ll never stop fighting against the judgment women has to face for not being the conventional beauty all females are expected to be.

There’s a knock on the door and the person behind it barges in without waiting for an answer. The tall, bald guy rushes in, looking a little stressed, but that’s kind of the normal for the owner.

“I’m not sure how to say it, but… you are not performing tonight,” he simply states and your anger sets in faster than ever. You’ve had gigs get cancelled, but not minutes before going on stage. However, he is still not done with his little informative speech. “And your instruments need to be used by another band tonight.”

“What the fuck?” Trey, the drummer jumps to his feet. “No way I’m letting someone else play my drum set!”

“You’ll get half the money if you let it happen,” the owner answers.

“Wait, what band did you find minutes before start?” you ask in complete shock.

“There’s this group celebrating a birthday in the VIP section and some boy band is apparently with them. Birthday girl requested to have the stage for them.”

“And you’re just cancelling on us that easily?” you snap.

“Not that I have a choice. If I don’t do it they are leaving and I’m losing a big amount from the night. Sorry guys, but this is strictly business.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you laugh bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. This would have been a great chance for all of you, you’ve been trying to get a gig here for months, knowing that a lot of people from the industry fancies it, you might have caught someone’s eyes, but it’s definitely not happening now.

“Are you letting them use your stuff or not?” he urges, hands on his hips as he looks at the four of you impatiently.

“But what about our gig? We’ve been on the waiting list for months, when can we actually perform?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’re pretty booked, maybe sometime in the summer?”

“Summer?” you gasp in disbelief. “It’s fucking February!”

“Are you lending them your stuff or not? I don’t have the time for your little tantrum!”

“Yeah, if we get the money they can use it,” Connor, the bass guitarist answers before you explode right then and there. The owner walks out with that, leaving the four of you behind, forgotten and humiliated.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Trey groans, plopping down on the couch, covering his eyes with his tattooed arm.

“This is fucking bullshit,” you scoff under your breath, reaching for your bag to grab your pack of cigarettes you keep in it especially for cases like this, whenever you are about to go around and punch every living thing in the face in your reach.

Kicking the backdoor open you lean against the cold brick wall as you light the cigarette and start puffing vigorously, trying to get as much nicotine into your system as possible. You notice a group of guys standing near you in the alleyway, laughing on something, having a great time, oblivious to how hurt and angry you are feeling just a few feet away. You hear frictions of their conversation and it’s clear they are British judging from the accents that are hitting your ears. You finish your cigarette pretty fast and immediately reach for another one even though you know you shouldn’t have even smoked that first one, but you just can’t help it. It’s either the smoking or you’re going after the owner and kick him in the balls for being a bitch.

“Oi, can I ask for one?”

Glancing to the side you see that one of the guys has approached you, smiling at you warmly he nods towards the pack in your hands. Nodding you hold it out for him and he takes one. Before he could even ask for the lighter, you throw it at him and he catches it easily.

“Thanks,” he nods, holding the cigarette between his lips before lighting it and passing the lighter back to you.

“Lou, you really shouldn’t smoke,” you hear one of the others speak up as the rest of the group slowly joins you and the one you just helped out.

“S’fine, don’t act like me motha’,” he shrugs, taking a drag from the cigarette.

“At least not before we go on stage,” the blonde one shakes his head at his friend and your eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh, so you’re the band that’s gonna play?” you ask with a forced smile, already feeling your blood boiling. Who the fuck they are and why do they deserve to steal your gig?!

“We’re just playing a couple of songs,” another speaks up shrugging his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“Glad it’s no big deal to you, because it would have been to the band that was robbed from tonight because of you,” you spat at them, clearly surprising them with your harsh reply.

“I assume you are part of that band, right?” the on with the curly hair speaks up, his green eyes burning down at you.

“Nice job, Sherlock,” you groan, taking another drag from your cigarette.

“You could play with us,” he offers, the others nodding in agreement.

“I don’t need your pity,” you scowl at them. “Bringing me on stage to try to make yourselves look like the good guys is not necessary. I’m just fed up with people like you.” The truth is coming out of you easier than ever. All the years on injustice is seemingly erupting from you, pouring down on these five.

“People like us?” the dark haired one asks with a confused look.

“Yeah,” you nod with a bitter chuckle. “Five conventionally hot guys grouped together for a band, making every girl between the age of ten and thirty scream just by a wink. I don’t know where you came from, but I’m betting my head that you’ve had it easier than others.”

“It’s not nice to assume things when you don’t know anything about us,” Curly speaks up, tilting his head to the side.

“Oh, I’ve seen enough not to care about what’s nice and what’s not,” you chuckle shaking your head as you take another long puff from your cigarette and throw the butt to the ground, stepping on it. “Who are you even? Some Back Street Boys 2.0?” you ask, folding your arms on your chest, earning a heartfelt laugh from the blondie.

“I kinda like her,” he smirks around his friends. “We’re called One Direction, you haven’t heard of us?”

“Not even once,” you shake your head.

“That’s kinda humbling,” the one with the cigarette smiles. “We’re from the UK. I’m Louis, that’s Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry.”

“I would say it’s nice to meet you, but it would be nicer if you guys didn’t just take my gig and lessen me with half my paycheck,” you smile at them sweetly before rolling your eyes.

“Wait, what? They’re not paying you because of us?” Liam asks.

“We only get half the money for lending you our instruments.”

“Let us pay the other half then,” Harry offers right away, but you just laugh at him.

“It’s not about the money, Prince Harry,” you smirk at him, tilting your head to the side. “It’s about justice. How is that air that you just waltz in here and take our time and chance? What if there’s a producer out there who would have liked our music and offered a record deal? What if someone would have taken a video of us performing, put it up to YouTube and it would have gone viral? I assume you never had to go through this phase where you have to beg for every minute on stage so you can at least earn enough money to pay rent. You don’t seem like the type of band who had to perform in smelly bars four times a week for a ridiculous amount of money.”

They stay silent and you know you were right.

“I’m not saying you had it easy, but I’m sure you have no idea what it could have been. And I’m fed up with men walking over others just to have what they want.”

“Look, it wasn’t our intention to ruin your gig. Have your set with your band and then we’ll play a few songs too after that,” Liam offers, but you shake your head.

“No, we weren’t supposed to be just your opening act and it’ll turn into that. So have a nice evening, enjoy your showtime, I’m out.”

Pushing yourself away from the wall you walk back into the building and grabbing your stuff from the dressing room you move out to the bar area, desperately needing a drink.

Sitting on the last stool at the bar you ask for straight tequila and two vodka shots knowing it’ll do the job for the evening and pulling your phone out of your bag, you open up Google. Searching the name One Direction you’re met with quite a few hits and you start scrolling through them, reading about the five boys you just had an encounter with. Just as you thought, they didn’t start off as a traditional band, having put together at a talent show just three years ago, getting such a major push so early in their career, they have no idea how struggling it is to make it in the industry. They surely had their fair share of ups and downs, but they will never know what it’s like to sweat blood and tears for your dream when everyone just wants to drag you down and tell you you’ll never make it.

The shots and half of the tequila is gone, your band joined you to at least get wasted as you watch the technicians set the stage for a band that’s not you, but gonna play with your stuff. Sitting on the stool you’re having a fairly good time thanks to the alcohol when you spot Harry making his way towards you in the crowd.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready backstage?” you ask with an eyeroll as he joins your little circle, the guys eyeing him curiously. Ignoring your comment he pulls out a piece of paper handing it to you. As you unfold it you almost want to throw it back at him.

“This is to make up for what you lost tonight,” he says nodding down at the check in your hands.

“I told you I don’t need your money,” you firmly answer, but Trey grabs the check from your hands.

“But I do!” he snorts. He is such a pig.

“Let us do at least this one thing for you. We really do feel bad for taking your time and the offer to come on stage with us still stands.”

“No thank you,” you shoot him a fake smile before downing the rest of your tequila, the drink burning down your throat. Looking back at Harry you keep your eye locked on him as he watches you intently. He is a good-looking guy, you have to give that to him, but the circumstances you’ve met under just made it impossible for you not to hate him for the privileges he is being handed every day while you fight your way through life.

Harry sighs in defeat nodding as he licks his lips. For a split second, guilt takes over you for the way you’ve been acting towards him and the other boys, but then you remember that you don’t even know him. For all you know, he can be a royal asshole with the face of an angel. You can’t let guilt chew you and spit you out, you have to keep your guards up.

“Alright. We really are sorry. I’ll… see you around,” he nods before turning around to walk away.

You watch them perform their biggest hits, the whole place going crazy over the impromptu One Direction concert they just got for basically free. The VIP area is going crazy over the boys and with each sang song, you feel yourself getting more and more hopeless about your future as a musician. Here you are on a Saturday night, robbed from a job you’ve worked hard for, watching five British boys take your place on the stage that’s supposed to be yours tonight. You catch Harry’s eyes quite often while he is on stage, he keeps glancing in your way, a hint of guilt glistening in his green irises as he sings their songs with perfect vocals. You can tell he feels bad for the situation and you didn’t make it any easier on him or any of the boys, but you’re not really one to beat around the bush. They deserved to know what others in the industry below them have to deal with every day. It’s not always as glamorous as people might think and you’re the living example of that.

You don’t stick around for long after the boys are done on stage, you help your bandmates pack their stuff and head home before Harry or any other members of One Direction can find you.

Walking past the news stand that’s on the corner of your street, you stop upon seeing your own face smiling back at you from the cover of People Magazine, the title catching your attention.

“Grammy nominee Y/N Y/L/N shares her secret to her one of a kind fashion style.”

Grabbing the magazine off the stand you pay for it and continue your way home, holding the copy to your chest with a warm feeling in your heart.

It’s been only a week since the nominations have come out, but it still feels like a dream. You didn’t just get nominated in the category of Best New Artist, but your album Hands of Power got nominated as Best Album and your biggest hit of last year, Sleepless is running for the title of Best song. Three nominations the first time earning a spot on the list. Not bad.

Just as you walk into your place, your phone buzzes, the ever so smiling face of your manager staring back at you from the screen.

“Hey!” you sing into the phone, holding it to your ear with your shoulder, taking off your boots as you walk further down the hallway.

“Are you home already?”

“Yes, just arrived.”

“Great, I’ll be there in ten,” she announces and ends the call. Chuckling you just shake your head, dropping the phone to the coffee table before you move to the bedroom and change into something more comfortable. The flared jeans looked fire on you today, but you rather wear something looser when you’re at home.

You barely have the time to start the water for a tea when Taylor storms through your door using her keys you’ve given her some time ago. She is wearing all white that looks fantastic with her almond skin tone, a knitted sweater tucked into a maxi skirt, paired with strappy heels, she is always so elegant and perfectly dressed for whatever occasion.

“I have knee-shaking news, girl!” she announces as she throws her purse to the couch before joining you in the kitchen.

“I’m going to be the next Bond girl?” you joke smiling to yourself as you get two mugs from the cupboard.

“Better than that!” she cheers. “You are going to perform at the Grammy’s, baby!” she screams throwing her hands into the air as your jaw drops to the floor.

“You’re not just kidding with me, right?!”

“I would never play such a dirty joke with you. It’s one hundred percent true, I had an hour long phone call with some bloke today and they want you.”

“Yes!” you scream in excitement, jumping up and down like a child that just got a pack of candy. “I’ll make the Grammy’s my bitch!” you cheer, making Taylor laugh.

“Alright, Miss Dominatrix. We still have a lot of things to discuss and there’s one more thing about the performance.”

“Oh God, is this the part where you say something that ruins it completely?” you sigh in defeat as you take the kettle and pour the water into the mugs, dropping a filter into each.

“I don’t think it ruins it,” she shakes her head, but you have a feeling you won’t like what she has to say. “They want it to be like a… joined performance. You’d start off with Sleepless, then it would kind of mesh into your partner’s song and they would end it with one of their own songs.”

“Okay, that doesn’t sound bad,” you nod.

“See?” she smiles warmly.

“Do we know who I’m going to perform with?”

“Harry Styles.”

You almost drop both mugs the moment the name is mentioned, but you manage to get them to the kitchen island and slip them to the counter, Taylor giving you a questioning look at your wide-eyed expression.

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s… gonna work,” you clear your throat.

“You’re not sure your duet with the biggest male artist can work? Why is that?”

Licking your lips you try to find the right words to say it, but you’re not even sure why you got so shocked over it. Probably because the last time you saw him, you were still nobody, playing gigs at no name bars and he took your spot on the stage with One Direction. It’s weird, but since you’ve finally made it in the industry, you haven’t crossed paths with him and this would be the first time you meet after seven years.

“I’m not sure if he remembers it, but we’ve met before.”

“You and Harry?”

“Yes. I was playing with The Gambits years ago, it was before I started putting out covers on my own. We were supposed to play at this bar but they cancelled on us, because One Direction was there that night and someone wanted them to play instead of us, so we lost the gig. I had a pretty… harsh conversation with him and the band, basically telling them that their pretty man privilege is what ruins the careers of talented women.” “Oh Jesus, Y/N. Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Taylor sighs leaning on her elbows on the countertop.

“Not that it’s something that would just come up in a conversation,” you shrug. “And as I said, he might not even remember it. It was a long time ago.”

“I know you are all about your rebellious past, good for you, but sometimes you’re making my job really fucking hard,” she sighs, grabbing her phone, already typing a message to God knows who. “Starting beef with Harry Styles before you even made a name for yourself? Who does that?”

“It’s not beef!” you protest. “I just gave them my piece of mind.”

“We’ll see what he thinks about it. I have to make a few calls,” she announces before walking out, already on the phone with someone.

Sitting on a stool, staring into your mug you think back at the time you met him. It feels like a lifetime ago when you were fighting to stay afloat, trying to make through the days, barely hanging on a thread. You didn’t know that five years later you’d sign your first record deal as a solo artist and seven years from that night, you’d be a Grammy nominee. It was a long and challenging time for sure with way more downs than ups until you finally got on track and you’ll never forget where you came from. Not when even as an acknowledged artist, you still face judgment and hatred no matter what you do. Being a solo female singer sometimes feels like harder than being president of the country and there are just so many things that need to change in the world of music, you will never stop fighting for girls that are in the same shoe you once were.

Through the years you’ve followed the career of the boys, especially Harry’s. You read about Zayn’s parting, their so-called hiatus and how they all went solo soon after. Genre-wise Harry’s work is what stands the closest to you, and you’ve witnessed all the backlash he has faced during his time in the spotlight. The shaming for whatever women he chose to date, his choice to get into acting and the way he has been dressing. People just don’t seem to understand they can’t have control over any of these and they’ve tried to bring him down one too many times, but he has been thriving lately, anyone can see that.

Your mug empties out by the time Taylor returns, taking her previous stop at the kitchen island.

“Alright, I set up a meeting with Harry and his manager for tomorrow. They still haven’t decided on the performance and apparently, Harry would like to meet you before giving his answer.”

“Oh God, he remembers me,” you growl under your breath.

“Or maybe he doesn’t and just wants to meet the person he is supposed to perform with. We can never know. We’re meeting them at his manager’s office at eleven tomorrow.”

One night is enough to make you go crazy over such a small thing as meeting someone. It’s not like you are nervous to see him because of who he is, it’s more about knowing what he thinks about you after all these years, in case he remembers you. He saw you as a struggling artist at rock bottom and though your encounter didn’t last long and he didn’t know you on a deeper, personal level, you still fear that he remembers and thinks that you’ve lost yourself over the years.

Authenticity has been a huge issue in your life. Early in your career, everyone wanted to change you. The way you dress, your hair, the style of music you write, nothing was good enough as it was, they wanted you to become someone else, someone who was not you. You fought all attempts until the right person came through and accepted you as yourself, but a tiny voice in the back of your mind kept telling you that they succeeded, that somewhere along the fight you did lose yourself and became what you always feared to be.

Meeting Harry is like meeting a piece of your past and having to face what you’ve become. It’s going to be like a mirror right in front of you and what you’ll see might not be what you expect.

Wearing your bright red dungaree with an oversized vintage shirt and a pair of white sneakers, you definitely don’t look like you’re dressed for a business meeting, but when did you ever? Pushing your hair back with a pair of cat eye shades, you leave a little earlier, knowing well traffic is horrible in these hours. You arrive to the office building just minutes before eleven, Taylor has already texted that she has arrived and which office you should come to. When you finally find the door you’ve been looking for, you take a moment to yourself before knocking.

“Come in!” a male voice calls out and you walk in. Taylor is sitting on the sofa that’s pushed against the wall on the left, a man is sitting behind the enormous desk and then there is Harry, standing by the window, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black slacks, and old Rolling Stones t-shirt hanging loosely on his frame as his eyes meet yours upon your arrival.

“Hey, I would say I’m sorry for being late, but I’m actually exactly on time,” you smirk, closing the door behind you. The man stands from the desk and walking around he meets at the front, holding a hand out for you.

“Perfectly on time,” he smiles warmly. “I’m Jeffrey Azoff, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you too.”

“And this here is Harry,” he motions towards the man who has stepped closer and as you look back at him, you’re met with a blank expression for a moment so you can’t figure out if he remembers you or not. But then, a tiny smile tugs on his lips as he holds his hand out for you.

“We’ve met before, right?” he simply questions, and your eyes flicker over to Taylor in a kind of “See? I told you!” manner before you look back at Harry and shake his hand.

“Yeah, we have,” you nod. “A long time ago.”

“Congrats for your nominations,” he smirks, his hand letting go of yours and your let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, thank you. Back at you.”

“Alright, why don’t we start this discussion? We have a lot to go over,” Jeff suggests and you sit beside Taylor while Harry stays near the window, as if he is trying to soak up the sunshine coming through it that’s painting his skin a golden shade.

The concept is simple. The performance would be a mashup from Sleepless and Harry’s song Golden with an exciting and fresh way of mixing the two songs together in the middle, making your song flow into his in a smooth and effortless way. The songs sound compatible and you already have an idea how to mash them together for the transition, but you can’t help but feel doubts over the performance.

“What are your concerns exactly?” Jeff questions.

“Not to come off too harsh, but why is my song the first one?” you ask, earning a few puzzled looks. “If Harry finishes it off, he is going to be the one people will remember more and he’ll get the applause as well. The riffs in the songs allow them to be switched, how come it’s not me who comes second?”

You can see the shock on Jeffrey’s face at how straight-forward you were about your concern and that you even dared to speak up about the issue. He clearly hasn’t had to face anything similar before and when he glances at Harry you follow his gaze as well, but instead of shock, what you see on his face is amusement. He is smirking, tapping his fingers against his chin as he stares back at you.

“She has a point,” he nods and you take a deep breath. For a moment, you really thought this is going to be the part where you are thrown off and Harry makes the performance only his.

“I, uhh—this is what’s been requested,” Jeff answers and you tilt your head.

“Okay, can we make a request to change it?” you simply ask, eyeing Taylor next to you who is typing on her iPad vigorously, taking notes of everything that’s said. She is already used to what you’re like, she is not even surprised you came up with the prompt to change.

“Hold on, so just because you want to be second, you get to be?” Harry questions, but he doesn’t come off as harsh, it seems like he is entertained by the conversation. “Does this mean I don’t deserve to be the second one?”

“That’s-That’s not what I meant,” you answer, taken aback from his accusation and you hate to admit, but he is right. You addressed the issue, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spot either.

“Alright, so then we need to seek a solution that benefits the both of us,” he offers, walking closer from the sunlight and you follow his every movement.

“We could do some kind of medley? Do an ultimate mashup from more songs and have more smaller parts split between us, finishing it together,” you suggest and he nods.

“That could work, but I have something else on my mind.”

“And what would that be?” Jeff asks, a little lost about the situation as he watches the two of you exchange ideas.

“We could write a song together, a duet, and perform that instead of our solo stuff.”

“What?” you snap right away. “You want to write a whole new song just for the Grammy’s?”

“Why not?” he smiles carefreely. “We have almost two entire months to do it, albums have been written in shorter periods, I’m sure we can handle just one song. And I think a collaboration would be a hit for the both of us now.”

You look at Taylor who just stares back at you, ignoring the panic in your eyes.

“Don’t look at me,” she tells you. ���I can see the collaboration working, it could be a huge hit.”

“And what, we’re gonna release it as a single after the show? Whose song is it going to be? I don’t have an album coming up until next year, do you get to have it on your third one then?”

“We can put it out as just a single. No one has to have it on any albums,” Harry replies. “If we released it after the show, it would be just the right timing. Neither of us had any new songs out in a while.” Clenching your jaw you’re trying to find a way out of this collaboration, though you’re not even sure yourself why. Taylor sees right through you, knowing well you’re planning your escape, but she has other plans apparently.

“Y/N, let’s have a few words outside,” she pushes herself up and pulls you with her. Once the door is shut behind the two of you she starts right away. “What the fuck is your problem? The song is a huge thing, it would be an instant hit with him on it!”

“Why do I need a song with him to stay relevant?” you question, folding your arms on your chest.

“No one said it’s about that. But we both know it would be a great push to your name that Jordan has stomped over not so long ago, calling you a Feminist Nazi.”

“Don’t even fucking mention him!” you whisper yell, refusing to even think about that trashbag of a man that ruined your life with his fake accusations.

“Look, I know what you are thinking, that you’ll be seen as just an object next to him, a pair of boobs and nice legs, but that’s not his brand. He doesn’t need you to be sexy next to him, he is known for his honest and real works that go farther than just twerking and being a hoe. We both know he produces meaningful music, so why are you so against it?”

“I just… I-I’m scared to work with him,” you finally admit and it’s the first thing today that surprises Taylor.

“Scared? Thought you’re not scared of anything,” she huffs.

“I never said that,” you give her a look. “Harry met me when I was nobody, it was just me and my big mouth, trying to find my breakout. What if we start working together and he sees that I completely lost that version of myself? I would feel like a liar, an impostor.”

“You are overreacting,” Taylor sighs. “You’ve changed on your way here, but I doubt you are that far from the girl he met before. I know we didn’t meet just a few years after, but I can assure you, you’re still that big-mouthed pain in the ass who fights every norm in the industry like no one else.”

You know she is right, she is always right. Taylor knows you too well, that’s why you love working with her, but sometimes, her honesty throws you way off, especially when she is stating the truth.

The two of you rejoin the two men in the office and they both look at you with anticipation as you fold your arms on your chest and move your gaze over to Harry.

“I would… love to work on a song with you.”

When you agreed to work with Harry you didn’t think you’d find yourself heading over to his house a few days later to have a writing session, but he offered right away that day in the office and Taylor accepted it before you could protest. You’ve had a day filled with meetings and fittings and now you’re rolling up his driveway after punching the security code in that he shared with you over text.

You’ve exchanged numbers on the spot and just like that, you’ve become one of the few people on this world that could contact Harry Styles anytime they want to.

You chose to be casual for the occasion, wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white hoodie, you like to be comfortable whenever you’re working on new music and Harry’s presence won’t change your ways about that. You’re not sure what to expect, if you’re being honest you’re still afraid of being alone with Harry and do such an emotional thing together as writing a song.

The front door opens just as you get out of your car, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. Harry walks out wearing a pair of shorts and a green hoodie, looking like he hasn’t left the house all day.

“Hey, you found the address easily?” he asks smiling as you walk up to him.

“Yeah, everything went fine.”

“Do you want something to drink or eat maybe?” he offers as the two of you walk inside. If you’re being honest, you’re starving, the last time you had anything to eat was between two meetings around ten, but nothing since then, just a granola bar. But you’re a first time guest, you can’t just eat up his fridge, like you’re old pals, right?

However, Harry can see right through you.

“You haven’t had anything in a long time, right?” he softly asks and you purse your lips, feeling awkward already and you haven’t been here for more than two minutes. “I can make you a sandwich, if you’d like.” “Harry, no need, I—“ “No need, but I want to. Come on,” he nods at you, making you follow him into the kitchen. “So, who would have thought we would be here now, huh?” he smirks at you as he gathers the ingredients and starts working on your food while you sit on one of the stools at his kitchen island.

“Not me,” you admit chuckling. “I kind of didn’t think I would see you again, I mean, personally. I was seeing you a lot on TV after that.”

“Now might be a good time to confess that, that night wasn’t the last time I saw you.”

“What?”

“I went to one of your gigs a few weeks later. Stayed at the back, I just really wanted to see you play.”

“And what did you think?” you ask tilting your head to the side. Harry smirks, his eyes meeting yours before they return to the food under his hands.

“You absolutely smashed it. And I felt even worse for taking your time away that night. The people were robbed from a mind-blowing performance and had to see five annoying guys clown on the stage,” he laughs making you chuckle too. “I wasn’t surprised when your name surfaced a few years later. Knew you’d make it at one point.” He joins you at the island and slides the plate in front of you with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” you mumble smiling shyly before you start eating and only after the first bite you feel just how hungry you’ve been. “Now that we are at it, I want to apologize for the way I talked to you guys back then. I feel like I was a bigger asshole than I should have been and the whole situation wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“No need to apologize,” he shakes his head. “You were absolutely right. We had no business being on stage that night and what you said actually made us think about where we came from and appreciate our career more. You were right about having it easy at the beginning. We never had the phase where we had to push our way to the top like other artists, our first days were broadcasted on TV, giving us the biggest push ever.”

It’s good to hear he is not holding grudges against you for whatever went down in the past. You eat in silence while Harry types a response to a message on his phone before turning it with the screen down to pay his full attention to you.

“I actually just messaged Niall that we are working together and he is losing his shit over it,” he chuckles softly.

“You guys still talk?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Not all of us thought,” he adds, pressing his lips together.

“You miss being with the band?”

“It’s… good to rely on someone in certain situations. As a solo artist, you only have yourself and that’s about it. But I think you already know that.”

“I never really liked being in a band,” you admit.

“How come? I think you fit in well with The Gambits.”

You shrug, chewing on your bite slowly. It’s probably not the best time to admit that you prefer working on your own, when you’re about to get into a duet with him.

“I uhh… I always imagined myself being a solo artist and I just couldn’t stay with the guys too long, especially when I got my record deal.”

“Why?” Letting out a long breath you lick your lips looking at him.

“I would have never made it in a band with three guys. It would have always been about which one I’m sleeping with, who am I having an affair with or if I’m lesbian because I’m not hooking up with any of them. This is just how it goes for women.”

Harry stays quiet, taking your words in as you finish the sandwich that was literally lifesaving. You wash the plate even when he tells you to just leave it in the sink, and once that’s done, the two of you move over to his little home studio in the basement of his house.

“So, where do we start?” you ask, making yourself comfortable in one of the armchairs while he grabs an acoustic guitar and sits on the one next to you.

“How do you usually start writing?” he asks scratching his chin before he rests his hands on the body of the guitar.

“Well, most of the times I write when I’m pissed about something,” you huff and Harry smirks at you.

“Nothing pissed you off lately?”

“Not enough to make me write a song,” you point out. “See, this is one of the reasons why I was hesitant to write a song with you. It doesn’t come that easily for me.”

“And what were the other reasons?” You shut your mouth at his question, you weren’t expecting him to pick it up, but apparently, he listens more than you thought.

“It’s… a long story.”

“And we have all the time,” he smiles slyly. “But of course, don’t feel pressured to share. I just thought it would be nice to get to know each other more so we can work together easier.”

Harry starts strumming his guitar gently, playing random riffs as you watch him, chewing on your bottom lip. Taylor asked you to try and be more open than you usually are and though part of you wants to keep the wall high between you and him, something is telling you to try and reach out to him.

“I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face next to you. In duets between a man and a woman, females are often seen as just an object, a sight for the eyes but not as serious artists. I worked hard to be taken seriously and I was hesitant about collaborating with you even though your music is not necessarily what I should fear.”

Harry looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you feel like he is judging you for standing up for yourself. Your fight for yourself is often mistaken as “being a bitch” or “being too sensitive” and the amount of times you’ve been told to just chill is upsetting.

“Well, good thing then that I won’t write music about twerking,” he then finally speaks up, a smile breaking his blank expression.

“But you do write a lot about sex,” you point out with a smirk.

“That I do, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist at the same time.”

“You’re right,” you nod smiling.

 The writing process turns out to be harder than you thought. You’re not specifically inspired and Harry is the person to just throw things around until he finds something he likes. The two of you put together is kind of chaotic as you try to come up with something useful.

Two hours later you have a raw version of a melody that could serve as a chorus, but nothing else, no full melody, no lyrics. And if you’re being honest, you don’t like that chorus that much either.

“It’ll be fun to just stand on stage for three minutes and do absolutely nothing, because we couldn’t write anything,” you groan, sliding lower in your seat, rubbing your face with your hands.

“It’s literally our first session and we have plenty of time, Y/N. Don’t stress about it.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“You don’t know how not to stress?”

“I literally haven’t had a stressfree day since about 2007, so no, I don’t know.”

“You can’t chill even when you smoke?” he asks and you give him a puzzled look. “What, you smoke, don’t you?”

“Cigarettes? I put it down in 2015.”

“No, I’m not talking about cigarettes,” Harry chuckles softly. “You don’t smoke weed?” You shyly shake your head. “Really? I would have sworn you’re the type to relax with a good joint. Want to try it?”

“What? Now?” you ask with wide eyes.

“Why not?” he shrugs and walks over to the little side table in the corner of the room and reaching into it he simply pulls a little plastic bag out with three joints in them.

“Are you just casually keeping joints around your house?”

“I don’t really smoke them, they make me feel sleepy. But some of my friends like it so I keep a few around,” he explains as he takes one out and puts the rest back. “You want to try?”

“I-I’m not sure… I have to drive back home.”

“You can stay for the night, I have three guest bedrooms,” he shrugs before his eyes meet yours. “Again, not trying to pressure you, I’m just offering.”

“Are you gonna smoke?”

“We can share one if you want. I would recommend smoking one by yourself for the first time.”

“Okay,” you nod shortly as you watch him tip-tap the joint a little, rolling it between his fingers before he takes it between his lips and reaches for a lighter. “Wait, shouldn’t we do it somewhere outside? The smoke is gonna get stuck in here.”

Harry stops, thinking about what you said and he nods. Grabbing the guitar he asks you to follow him and the two of you move up and out to the terrace, sinking into his lounge chairs. You bring your knees up to your chest, hugging them tightly as you watch Harry light the joint and take the first few puffs. As he exhales the smoke he holds the joint out for you and you take it, hesitantly putting it between your lips as you inhale for the first time. You can’t help but scowl at the taste, the whole act of smoking feeling strange after years of smoking your last cigarette. You keep it down a little before puffing the smoke out and passing the joint back to Harry.

You keep switching until you make it past half of it and you finally start to feel the effect of it. You feel light, like you’re floating in the pool that’s in front of you, you can almost feel the water touching your skin yet you’re still dry.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks, blinking at you with hooded eyes.

“I’m feeling… fine,” you chuckle softly as you take the joint from him and drag from it again. “Do you do other drugs?”

“I’ve done shrooms a few times, not often though. I’m not trying to pick up an addiction,” he smiles softly, running a hand through his hair. “Have you done anything?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Didn’t have the money for it before and then didn’t have time later. But I never really felt the need either.”

“And you said you put down the cigarette as well?”

“Yeah. I knew I had to do that sooner or later, it was starting to change my voice and I couldn’t have that.”

“That’s what we always told Louis, that his voice will turn to shit if he keeps smoking,” Harry chuckles softly, dragging from the joint before he passes it over to you, not much left of it.

“Did he ever stop?”

“I think he put it down when his son was born, but I don’t know if he started again.”

You give the joint back for him to finish it and you watch him put it out in the ashtray before he sinks down in the lounge chair, closing his eye for a bit, breathing steadily. You find it amusing how you can still see the guy that handed you a check years ago at that bar, trying to make things right, but he also looks like a completely different person at the same time. He is more mature and open in his mindset and just the way he approaches things in general. The Harry you met seven years ago was still searching his way, but the version lying next to you now is a lot more confident in who he really is.

“Want to take a picture?” he hums keeping his eyes closed.

“What?”

His eyes peel open and turn to face you, a smug smirk on his lips.

“You’ve been staring at me. Take a picture, it lasts longer.”

“You are way too full of yourself,” you scoff and pushing yourself up from the lounge chair you walk over to the edge of the pool, mesmerized by the way the light is dancing on the surface.

You never really thought about what weed would feel like in your system, but it feels oddly tranquil and relaxing. In a way your body feels a little strange, like it’s not even yours, but you also sense everything very… loudly.

“You alright?” you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind, the tapping on his feet signaling that he is walking closer to you.

“Yeah,” you nod without taking your eyes off of the water.

“Do you want to go for a swim?”

“What?” you breathe out turning to face him.

“Do you want to go in?” he rephrases his question with a small smile.

“I don’t… have a bathing suit,” you answer and the moment the words leave your mouth they feel so ridiculous even when you were just stating the truth.

“Okay, but you are wearing underwear, aren’t you?” he smirks. “Or I’m completely fine if you want to go in naked,” he adds smugly.

“Shut up,” you chuckle. “Can you… maybe give me a pair of shorts? I’m fine without a bra when I come out but I would rather have my underwear on dry.”

“Sure,” he hums and turning around he jogs back into the house while you stay right there, staring at the water again.

With each passing moment you get calmer, the outside world and everything in life that’s not happening right in this moment eases into nothingness, your mind numbs in the best way possible.

When Harry returns he is wearing a pair of yellow swimming shorts, two towels are thrown over his shoulders and he has a pair of white shorts in his hands.

“This is the smallest thing I have, I think it’ll be fine,” he comments handing you the shorts.

“Thanks,” you nod before he shows you the way to the closest bathroom where you change out of your clothes leaving them in a neatly folded pile on the counter, you put on the shorts that are a little big on you, but once you’ve tied the strings it seems to be staying up steadily. Your simple black bra is not showing more than what a bikini top would, so you feel fine walking out in your attire.

Harry is sitting at the edge of the pool, his legs moving around in the water. His head lifts hearing your steps and he smiles at you, standing up when you arrive.

“Fits fine,” he nods, taking a look at the shorts.

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

Walking over to the steps you dip your feet in first, testing the temperature before you start going in further, Harry following you right behind. Just as you expected, the water feels smooth against your skin, warmly caressing and swallowing your body as you get in, the surface reaching your chest. You let your arms move around, feel how the water runs through your fingers, it’s amusing and you enjoy it probably more than you should. It’s just water, but right now it feels like a pile of clouds.

“I know I suggested to smoke and then swim, but please don’t drown into my pool, I won’t be able to talk myself out of that,” he chuckles, easing him into the water until it reaches his neck.

“My life is in your hands, Harry,” you smirk at him before you follow him and let the water swallow your whole body up to your neck.  “This feels so nice.”

“Yeah? You like it?” he smirks.

“Mm, like I’m… floating through space.”

“In a sense, you are floating in the water,” he chuckles. “You don’t feel sick, right?”

“No, I’m fine,” you smile at him shortly.

You move over to the edge of the pool, laying your arms to the side, holding yourself up so your legs could float in the water. You watch Harry dive under and swim across the pool, reaching the far end before he pushes himself over to you.

“When I went to see you perform there was a song I really liked, but I never found it anywhere later.”

“Which one?”

“The chorus went like… Crashing and crumbling, I’m fighting for my breath, Today won’t be the day I’m meeting death…”

You suck on your breath, surprised how well he remembered the lines even after so many years. He recalled them perfectly, even singing the melody a little with them.

“I never recorded it in studio,” you admit quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because it felt too emotional and I didn’t want it to be just out there.”

“What was the name of the song?”

“It’s called Till I Die. I wrote it when…” You take a deep breath, feeling heavy just by talking about it, but something is urging you to share it with him. “I left from home right after I graduated high school, broke contact with my parents completely and I had a few very rough years, trying to just… keep myself alive, I guess.”

“Can I ask why you left your parents?”

“We had very different visions of what I should become. And I didn’t intend to live the life they imagined for me. My parents are very… traditional, my career in their eyes is just some kind of circus when I’m the clown on the stage. They don’t take any of it seriously and they made it very clear at the beginning that they don’t want me to become a musician. I was supposed to become a surgeon, my dad is one and my mom is in criminal law, they both worked very hard to get to where they are, but they don’t think that’s exactly what I’m doing as well.”

The last person you shared it with was Taylor and though it feels odd to open up about these old wounds again, but having Harry as the one listening to you just feels right.

“You haven’t talked to them since you left?”

“No,” you shake your head.

“And they didn’t even try to contact you?”

“Well, I made sure they couldn't. Changed my number first thing I set my feet outside the house and I never left them any of my addresses. I know it sounds cruel, but I didn’t want to do anything with them after the shaming they put me through when I told them I don’t want to become their perfect little daughter. They told me that I could consider myself disowned from the family if I dare to even write a song.”

“Woah, that sounds really tough.”

“It was,” you nod. “I wasn’t asking them to support me in any other way apart from just being there for me. It’s not like I wanted to spend the money the put aside for my tuition to buy guitars and tour the country, I just wanted them to… accept who I am, but apparently, I asked for too much.”

You feel tears forming in your eyes, but you wipe them quickly. It’s been long since the last time you let the thought of your parents, you’ve been good at keeping these feelings bottled up and in the deepest end of your mind. It’s not like you’re going around and just share your trauma with anyone you meet, but it felt comfortable to share it with Harry.

“I’m sorry about that. Everyone should have a support, especially in our job.”

“I had… myself,” you chuckle bitterly. “Became pretty good at relying only on myself.”

“I’m guessing it���s another reason why you prefer working alone, right?” he smiles at you softly.

“You could say that,” you nod into the water.

“I know it’ll sound cheesy, but… if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” he offers.

“Oh, are we becoming friends?” you ask chuckling.

“We’ve known each other for long enough to be friends, am I right?” he smirks, splashing some water in your way.

“We met a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Everything I know about you is from articles and gossip sites and I think you can only say the same thing,” you point out.

“Okay, then let’s get to know each other.”

“What, do you want to play 21 questions now or something?” you huff.

“Damn right,” he smirks.

And that’s exactly what you do. Swimming around in the pool you ask each other questions, some are funny, some are more serious and you slowly start to get to know each other, seven years after meeting for the first time, but in a way it feels like it’s been just last week when you were talking in the alleyway.

The weed soon dies down in your system, leaving you incredibly tired and it’s only then you realize it’s already past one am. Pulling out of the pool, you both grab a towel drying yourselves up before making your way back into the house.

“The guest bedroom next to mine has a bathroom so I think that’s the best one. I can give you something to sleep in if you’d like,” Harry offers as you follow him down the hallway.

“I think I’m fine in my sweats, but thank you.” He shows you the room, tells you how to change the AC if you feel too cold or hot and then bidding goodbye he is about to go to his own room when you stop him.

“Thank you for… today. I know we didn’t get far with the song, but… I liked hanging out with you,” you admit with a shy smile, leaning against the doorframe.

“Don’t worry about the song, it’ll be fine. And I liked it too. We can make it a regular thing, if you want. You can come over, we’d chill and try to cook up something for the song.”

“I, uhh… Yeah, that sounds good,” you nod, he shoots you a smile before turning around and disappearing in his room.

The morning doesn’t turn out at all any awkward, especially because you don’t get to stay around too long. You have a meeting at eleven so you have to leave in time to go home and get changed before that. Harry makes you coffee, which is lifesaving, the two of you sit at the terrace as you drink it and you arrange to meet in two days to try and have another, hopefully more successful session for the song.

You genuinely enjoyed your time with Harry and to think that you didn’t only smoked weed for the first time with him, but also opened up about your parents, you feel a kind of connection forming and you can only hope you’re not gonna regret it later.

You move on with work after leaving from Harry’s that morning, you have some fittings for upcoming photoshoots and an interview scheduled, so there’s not much time for you to sit around. Tonight you’re supposed to meet Harry again at his place for another session and you feel buzzed about it. You meet Taylor for lunch, sitting on the terrace of your usual place she is talking you through everything that’s coming up the next week, just like you always do so then you can put work aside and have a real chat.

“So how did the writing session go?” she asks, digging into her salad that she always asks with extra chicken.

“The writing? Not so well. But we had a good time,” you truthfully admit.

“Good, good! You’re finally making friends!” Taylor grins, satisfied with the news. You just roll your eyes at her, turning back to your food right when you notice that your phone has been blowing up with notifications.

Huffing you grab it from the table with the pure intention of muting it down completely, but then you see that several people have texted you the same link and it bugs your curiosity so you open one of the messages and tap on the link.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan, feeling your rage already pushing up your spine, clouding your vision in red.

“What?” Taylor snaps, reaching for her phone out of reflex.

“That fucking asshole dragged my name again!”

“Who? Jordan? That fucker never learns?” Taylor hisses, her thumbs vigorously typing on the screen immediately.

“Someone asked him about me on Twitter and he dared to call me a lying bitch! I can’t fucking believe this man!”

You and Jordan worked together on a project a while ago. You were supposed to write lyrics to a song he was composing and it was meant for an upcoming popular Netflix show, so the anticipation around the song was huge, especially when word got out that Ariana Grande might end up singing it. During your time working together he very blatantly tried to hit on you, which you politely shut down, because one, you didn’t intend to date someone you were working so close with and two, you just simply weren’t into him. However, he couldn’t take rejection the way a mature, almost thirty years old man should. It started off very subtly, but once you’ve had a chat with him to stop posting obnoxious and suggesting things about you on his social media, because it’s making it hard for you to be taken seriously as an artist and that people will just see you as another celeb which you don’t want to be, he just completely lost his shit. He called you different names on Twitter a few times, the worst were Feminist Nazi and a cock teasing slut, and he just somehow never fails to mention that you lied about your intentions with him, when you were clearer than daylight that you didn’t want a thing from him other than work.

When you realized he isn’t going to be stopping anytime soon, you took him to court, dragged his ass in front of the judge and won the case, which ended with him having to pay you thirty thousand dollars and he was ordered to clear all his platforms from your name for good. You really thought that taught him a lesson, especially because against your will, the case got some publicity and he ended up making headlines about the fault accusations he made about you, but it seems like he didn’t have enough.

You wouldn’t worry that much about his new tweet, knowing that he is the one lying, but the trials took a toll on you. It was at the beginning of the time when you were making yourself a name and even though you won, his accusations stung for some people and some even thought him to be the victim. You fell out of two brand deals and an important interview in the upcoming months which was a major setback and all for what? Because a man couldn’t accept rejection? The sad part is that if it would have happened the other way around, he wouldn’t have had to suffer any effect of it, people don’t tend to question a man’s words when he is showing this charming and nice persona to the public. If you accused him the same way you would have been dragged and titled as a sour crybaby and Jordan’s life would have carried on the same way.

The peaceful lunch soon falls through as Taylor turns on her beast mode to at least get the tweet down as soon as possible, already contacting the legal team you worked with before. It has to be against what you agreed on at the end of the trials, he can’t just go around and drag you again without any consequences.

In just about twenty minutes, the tweets disappear from Jordan’s feed, but you know it was already late the moment he posted it. If something gets out on the internet it never goes away, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of screenshots floating around that will preserve his words forever.

You part ways Taylor as he heads to an immediate meeting with the lawyers you worked together previously, she tells you to try not to worry about it, but you can’t just turn it off in you, that’s not how it works.

Making your way home you keep riling yourself up about it, thinking about what it’s gonna cause you this time, what opportunity is going to be taken because a man has called you a lying bitch, even after winning the previous trial against him that proves how big of an asshole he really is.

Changing into a casual attire you head to Harry’s place a little earlier, hoping it’s not a problem you get there an hour before you were supposed to. Arriving you’re a little taken aback seeing that there is another car parking on the driveway that’s not his and you immediately regret coming here, but before you could leave, the front door opens and Harry walks out. You couldn’t have left without noticing, the security system must have signaled your arrival when you punched the opening code in.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks instead of questioning your early arrival.

“I uhh—I’m sorry for being early, I could go—“

“Don’t be silly, come on in!” he waves at you and you walk up the stairs. “Two friends are here but they were just about to leave soon,” he explains as you walk in.

“Sorry for crashing the party,” you let out a soft chuckle.

“The more the merrier,” he smiles. “You seem a little stressed, everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just… It’s nothing,” you shake your head.

“Oh my God, is that who I think it is?” you hear a woman’s voice from behind and turning around you see a smiley brunette walking towards you, a shy looking guy following behind her.

“Sarah, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Sarah, my drummer, and that wanker over there is Mitch, my guitarist.”

“Nice to meet you.” Shaking hands with both of them you realize they look familiar from pictures you’ve seen from Harry’s tour.

“I saw that ugly tweet today, that guy needs to be kicked in the balls,” Sarah sighs with a sympathetic smile, Harry’s ears perking up.

“What tweet?” he asks, eyes switching between you and Sarah.

“Oh, just… Jordan Wells thinks it’s fine to drag people with absolutely no truth behind his words,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile.

“Jordan Wells? The name rings a bell,” Harry hums.

“He is a music producer,” Mitch chimes in.

“I think he was supposed to write for 1D one time, but the deal fell through. Guess we didn’t miss out on anything,” he jokes and it brings a genuine smile to your face.

“You surely didn’t,” you comment under your breath.

You chat with Sarah and Mitch for a bit before they decide to head out, but Sarah asks you to come around sometime they are hanging out and you gladly say yes, wanting to know her and Mitch better, they seem like great company and even greater musicians, it’s always good to meet people who are like you.

As Harry walks his friends out you make yourself comfortable on the couch, reading Taylor’s texts about the update on the recent actions, she has gotten in contact with Jordan’s team and legal steps will be taken if Jordan doesn’t show any sign of improvement in the very near future.

“Hey, want something to drink? Wine or beer maybe?” Harry walks in as you look up from your phone.

“Wine sounds fucking fantastic,” you breathe out earning a soft chuckle from him. You follow him into the kitchen and watch him get a bottle of white wine with two glasses. “I hope Sarah and Mitch didn’t leave early because of me.”

“Oh, not at all. They knew you’d be coming over and would have left around this time, so don’t worry about it.”

He joins you at the kitchen island with the two glasses handing you one and you take a sip from it with a satisfied hum.

“So, want to talk about this Jordan ordeal?”

“There’s not much to talk, really,” you shrug. “He is a jerk and I just can’t seem to get rid of him and I didn’t even date the guy…”

“What did he do this time?”

“Oh, he just casually called me a lying bitch on Twitter, so that’s fun,” you let out a fake laugh, raising your glass before taking a big swig from it.

“Not that creative, if you’re asking me,” he jokes making you laugh. “It’s a very plain choice of words.”

“Yeah, not as good as his best which was calling me a feminist nazi.”

Harry almost chokes on his wine as you say the words, coughing a little while you watch him with an entertained smirk.

“That’s… an interesting way to express his opinion about you,” he answers diplomatically.

“Right? I was thinking about getting a sign of it, like a Live, Love, Laugh one, in the middle of my living room.”

“Would be a wonderful touch of décor,” he smirks. “Alright, I have a proposal for today’s session.”

“Shoot it.”

“You seemed to enjoy your weed experience the last time, I thought we could give it a try again, but we would try to write this time as well.”

“You want to write while smoking?” you ask raising your eyebrows at him.

“Only if you want to. I just thought it would relax you a bit, might even come up with some interesting ideas for the song.”

“Are you trying to turn me into an addict?” you narrow your eyes at him and he just holds his hands up innocently.

“Told you, no pressure,” he smirks angelically.

“I feel like I’m not even coming here to work but to meet with my new dealer,” you chuckle making him laugh. “Okay, we can… give it a try.”

 An hour and one joint per person later the two of you are lounging in his living room, he is sprawled out on the loveseat with a guitar on his arms while you are curled upon the sectional, fumbling with the strings of your hoodie.

“We should just… fucking steal a song,” you snort, finding your comment hilarious.

“Which one were you thinking about?” Harry smirks your way, his fingers gently strumming some random melody on the instrument.

“I really want to have a Madonna song to be mine,” you sigh dreamily.

“You’re a fan?”

“Oh, I grew up on her. I have an elaborate choreography for Hung Up,” you snort.

“You need to perform it for me.”

“No fucking way,” you laugh shaking your head. “Not even weed can make me dance for you.”

“Come on, I need to see that choreography, you can’t just hint it and then never show it to me!”

“Nah, not happening,” you laugh, sliding lower down in your seat, your head resting against the armrest of the couch.

You listen to him play the same melody over and over again with your eyes closed and though you really like what you are hearing, no words are forming in your mind that could serve as lyrics. Your phone buzzes on the cushion next to you and grabbing it you see a text from Taylor.

Taylor: Lawyers are on the case, we’ll have more tomorrow, don’t stress about it too much. Night! Xx

Sighing you drop the device back next to you, covering your eyes with your arms.

“You alright?” Harry softly asks.

“Nah, I just want to… disappear,” you sigh, tired of this fight you’ve been fighting for way too long.

“Is this about Jordan? He is a fucking ass, most people know it.”

“But not everyone!” you snap throwing your hands up. “And that fraction that still believes that he is saying the truth is enough to ruin my life. I’m fucking fed up with the injustice women have to face because of the patriarchy we are forced to live in!” Pushing yourself up you run a hand through your hair, hugging your knees to your chest. “It’s so fucking upsetting, like everything I do goes straight down the drain because of one little thing and I’m stuck with trying to rebuild my whole future plan.”

From a sudden urge, you move down to the floor, lying down on the fluffy rug that runs under the couches and the glass coffee table. It feels nice, kind of grounding to lie flat on the floor, especially because your senses are all messed up again because of the weed, but in a good kind of way.

“You worry way too much on longterm things. Try to stay in the moment a little more,” Harry tells you, putting the guitar to the side so he can move his feet to the floor, leaning onto his knees. “You can’t control this much what happens in the future, you should only care about today. And today, you’ve done good, you made it through another day, you did what you had to do and that’s it. Stressing about tomorrow or the next week or next year is just way too much to deal with all the time, twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, that’s just no way to live.”

Lying on the floor you stare up at the ceiling seemingly blankly, but your mind starts to swirl over what he just told you. The worlds are running around, mixing and mingling until something starts to form, making you gasp.

“Grab the guitar,” you tell him, sitting up abruptly. He pulls his eyebrows together, but does as you told him to, holding the instrument on his lap as he waits for you to instruct him more. “Play that… that melody you’ve been playing, but a little faster.”

He turns his attention at the guitar, trying the strings out a few times, feeling the melody under his fingers before he starts playing it just how you asked as you slowly start to sing the lines you have just thought about.

“You made it through… another day, you made it through another day… You did it, let’s celebrate…”

The lines fit perfectly with the melody he has come up with and the more you sing, the wider his smile grows as you move along in the forming song.

“Some days you feel you’ll break, but you made it through another day, yeah, you did it, let’s celebrate…”

“Don’t fucking stop!” he chimes in, never stopping the riffs, trying out new things as you go, slowly perfecting it together with the lyrics.

“Twenty-four-seven and three-six-five, you made another day, you made it alive! Made another day made it alive!” You sing loud and clear, completely lost in the melody Harry is playing, the lines just flowing out of you, like a dam has been taken down and now everything washes over you at once.

When the chorus is about to come up however you run out of ideas, your eyes meet Harry’s and he sees that you’re stuck. His eyebrows knit together, tongue runs along his lips before he starts playing the melody of the chorus and takes over the singing as well.

“So today, baby, remember it’s okay! We’re all floating through space, today, baby, remember you’re okay! We’re all floating through space…”

He plays a little with the lines, repeats them, tries a few times before he stops singing, you are now standing up, watching him end the melody, neither of you saying a word as he room grows silent. A sudden urge drives you to go closer and you sit back down to the floor in front of him, your eyes casting over the now silent instrument on his lap. Looking up your eyes meet his and you feel like the air is kicked out of your lungs.

You’ve heard so much about moments when you feel yourself pulling towards someone, when it’s like a magnetic field but you never actually experienced it until now. Staring back at Harry you feel that pull everyone has talked about and you finally understand what they were trying to say. It’s like there’s a string coming from your chest that’s connected to him and he is tugging it without even doing anything.

Reaching forward he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers dancing down the side of your face as you catch his eyes wander down to your lips. Sucking on your breath you feel the moment, you know what he is thinking about because you think about the exact same thing. Kissing him. You are desperate to find out what his lips feel against yours, what he tastes like, what it’s like to have him so close to you.

“You want to kiss me,” you whisper and it’s not a question, more like an observation.

“I do,” he admits with a soft smile, but doesn’t move closer. “Can I?”

“I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to do in our situation,” you breathe out, though you don’t agree with the statement fully.

“You think too much,” he chuckles softly, leaning closer just a tad bit, but there are still a few inches between the two of you. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes,” you admit.

“Then we should just do what we want to,” he suggests with a small smirk and he looks ridiculously handsome with his dimples and shining green eyes that are glued to you.

“And then what? We’ll just go on like it never happened or there’s going to be more happening? How are we supposed to—“

You don’t get to finish, because Harry closes the distance between you and him and presses his lips against yours, swallowing the rest of your stammering speech. Whatever doubts and hesitation you felt just a moment ago, it all vanishes into nothing as you melt into his kiss, his lips caressing yours gently, softly capturing them, savoring and tasting you with caution, giving you the chance to pull back anytime, but nothing in your body can make you stop kissing him in this moment.

His palms cup your jaw as you push yourself up, slowly making your way to straddle his lap after he has blindly put the guitar to the side, hands coming to rest on his shoulder for leverage. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you close until your chest is pressed up against his, lips never disconnecting in the kiss.

Kissing him feels like second nature, like it’s not even the first but the hundredth time, but on the other hand, every touch and tiny sparkle is so new and unusual, you’ve never felt like this before.

Harry slowly pulls back, pecking your lips a few more times before he stops, nuzzling his nose against you in an adorable and innocent way that brings a smile to your lips.

“Doesn’t it feel good to just do whatever you feel like doing?” he asks with a soft smile, making you laugh.

“Kind of.”

“Nothing has to change. Or something can, it’s up to you.”

“You are so upsettingly cool and respectful,” you blurt out chuckling and it makes him laugh, his head falling back against the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry, I guess?” he smirks with a shrug.

“See? Respectful!” you grin, your hands moving up to cup his face. The pad of your thumbs gently tap against his dimples that are showing thanks to the wide smile on his lips right now. You can’t stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him again, even though your rational side is trying to make you stop. You just can’t, his lips are screaming to be kissed and who are you to deny that?

You’ve been running errands all day. Following an early meeting you ran to your favorite vintage store to get another armchair for your living room. Then you went grocery shopping because your fridge has been ridiculously empty the past two days and later you had a quick fitting for a few outfits you are supposed to wear in the near future. You’ve ran into a few fans too, having small chit-chats with them, taking photos, so it’s been a busy day.

It’s been a week since you and Harry have kissed and despite your fears, it hasn’t been awkward at all. He didn’t bring it up, but you don’t feel like he is pretending it never happened, which is kind of a great balance. He is giving you just enough time and space to figure out what it really meant to you, because quite frankly, you have no idea.

Obviously, you find him attractive. You’d have to be completely blind to say that he is not handsome and just simply good to look at. You’re attracted to him and not just to his looks, but to his whole persona.

It’s just you’re not sure it’s a smart idea to start anything with the man you’re working with and though you know Harry is nothing like Jordan, part of you is still scared the whole thing will happen all over again if you get involved with another man from the industry.

Workwise, everything is going well. You’ve successfully finished the song you started that ominous evening and have started recording it in Harry’s home studio, working some more on the melody, bringing a lot more into it than just a single guitar. What more, you’ve been coming up with new ideas for other songs, lyrics popping up in either your or Harry’s head and you just keep sharing them with each other, saving them for later once the song for the Grammy’s is done.

Heading back to your place you get a call from Harry, his smiley face appearing on the screen of your face as you accept the call and his accent fills the car through the speakers that are connected to your phone through Bluetooth.

“Hey, hope I’m not calling in the middle of a meeting,” he greets you and you can tell he is smiling.

“No, I’m just on my way home. What’s up?”

“I’m meeting with Sarah and Mitch for dinner tonight, thought you’d like to join us.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends, I feel like you’ve been spending all your time with me.”

“But I like spending time with you,” he chuckles softly, a blush making its way to your cheeks at his words.

“Are you sure you want me there? What about Sarah and Mitch? I crashed your last meeting with them as well.”

“You didn’t crash anything, Y/N. And I’m positive I want you there, I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. And just so you know, Sarah asked if you’d be joining us, so I assume they wouldn’t mind it either.”

“Oh, well, okay then. Send me the time and place.”

“Wonderful!” he beams, his enthusiasm making your chest warm.

By the time you arrive home he has already texted you the details and you have just one hour to spare before you have to head out. You opt for a quick shower and an outfit change, switching up your ripped mom jeans and simple t-shirt to one of your favorite jumpsuits. It’s a little baggy, but the waist is cinched in with an inbuilt corset, giving the whole fit a very interesting twist.

Arriving at the restaurant Harry has texted you the address of, the waiter escorts you to the terrace at the back that’s a lot more secluded and you feel yourself relaxing that you probably won’t get photographed. Harry is the only one who is already at the table, sitting with his eyes fixed on his phone, but he immediately puts it aside when he sees you approaching, a wide smile stretching across his face.

“Hey! You look amazing!” he greets you pulling you into a quick hug.

“Thank you,” you smile shyly. He is wearing a pair of brown slacks, a simple white shirt tucked into it, a knitted cardigan thrown on, a typical Harry outfit. “And thanks for the invite,” you add as you take the seat next to him, assuming Sarah and Mitch would like to sit next to each other.

“Don’t even mention it. We’re friends, it’s really nothing. I’m glad you could make it.”

The way he called you friends is giving you mixed feelings. Part of you is happily jumping up and down at the fact that he considers you as a friend, given how you don’t have many of those. It’s been hard opening up to anyone since you’ve made a name for yourself, you’ve ran into occasions a lot when people wanted more than just your friendship from you and it made you rather closed off when it comes to making friends.

On the other hand, you can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Is that all you are? Just friends? More importantly, is that all you want to be, or more?

Sarah and Mitch arrive soon after, joining you at the table and the waiter takes the orders before leaving the four of you alone. It seems like they genuinely like it that you’ve joined, so you can enjoy the evening a little more relieved.

Sipping on some amazing wine, you eat and talk and you feel like you’ve known these people your whole life. You especially like Sarah, she is so open-minded and funny and you think they make a great couple with Mitch who is obviously more closed off, but it’s obvious how much he worships his girlfriend.

Sometime in the evening, when you’ve already had two glasses of Chardonnay and you’re feeling a lot more relaxed and comfortable, you move closer to Harry without even noticing, leaning against him gently and his hand rests on your knee, giving it a soft squeeze under the table, making you want to move even closer to him to feel more of his touch, to get more of him.

Neither Sarah, nor Mitch questions the two of you being a little cozier and you’re thankful for the safe and stressfree environment they are providing, not making you overthink what you do, just letting you enjoy the moment.

At the end of the evening, you can’t shake the thought that you don’t want to say goodbye to Harry just yet. He pays for everyone’s dinner, leaving a generous tip for the waiter and you stay back at the table while Sarah runs out to the restroom and Mitch takes a quick call from his father, leaving you alone with Harry. His hand is still resting on your leg, a little farther up, but still in a very safe zone in the middle of your thigh.

Turning to face him your eyes meet his, his green irises glistening in the soft lighting and he looks so beautiful, you just want to kiss him again.

“Do you have plans after this?” you find yourself asking.

“Not that I know of.”

“Do you want to come over to my place?”

“That sounds like a nice plan,” he smiles at you warmly and you just know that if you weren’t out in the public, he would have leant in for a kiss and you wouldn’t have stopped him.

When Sarah and Mitch return all four of you head out and they don’t question when you follow Harry to his car. They say goodbye and Sarah makes you promise to join them some other time too and you happily say yes to the invitation.

Not much is being said on the way back to your place, he plays some music quietly as you navigate him through the streets.  

“Welcome to mi casa,” you smile as you key the two of you into your apartment you’ve been living in for the past few years.

It’s nothing luxurious, just a tad bit bigger than what one person would need as a home. You would have been fine living in your previous home you lived in before you’ve gained fame, but you needed a much bigger closet so you were forced to move. It’s a two bedroom apartment with one big bathroom, an open concept kitchen and a spacious living room. And of course, a closet as big as your bedroom. It’s the perfect size and you haven’t even thought about buying a bigger place just because you can, it would be a waste of money and space. The interior is very much vintage with all your mismatched furniture and colorful walls, but you think it’s quite cozy and just the ideal space for you.

“Would you like something to drink?” you ask, walking into the kitchen to get yourself some water.

“Some water would be great, thank you.”

Filling up two glasses you hand him one as you lean against the counter, silently eyeing each other. It should be clear to him that you had intentions with asking him to come over, especially after being your cozy with each other during dinner, but you’re a little lost in what you should or even want to do. You just know you want him close.

He drinks up his water, his eyes meeting your gaze as a small smirk tugs on his cherry lips.

“You want to kiss me,” he states, using the exact same words you used the night when you kissed for the first time.

“I do,” you nod, feeling a little breathless.

“Then do it,” he simply answers, making you smile.

“Cool and respectful, as always,” you grin at him as he moves closer, stopping just a few inches away from you, your feet almost touching. Reaching up his fingers gently caress the side of your face and you feel yourself already melting under his touch.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, a shiver running down your spine at his words. You close your eyes for a moment, giving yourself the chance to pull out of it, but you realize you don’t want that, not even the tiniest bit. Opening your eyes they meet with his gaze before you move closer, closing the distance between you and him, lips meeting in a warm and chaste kiss.

Though it grows a little hungrier, you can tell he is still holding back a little, giving you the chance to stop whenever you want to, but you don’t intend to. Pushing yourself closer to him, your arms curl around his neck as his hands grip your waist, your tongue meeting his as you deepen the kiss and melt into his embrace.

Pulling back you grab his hand and head to the bedroom, going back to kissing him the moment you reach it. You easily slide his cardigan off his broad shoulders, pulling his t-shirt out of his pants before taking it completely off, throwing it somewhere to the side. You smirk against his lips, hands wandering down his naked chest and you can’t push down a moan as you feel the warmth of his chest muscles under your touch.

When you feel him try to blindly figure out how to get you out of your jumpsuit with not much luck and this clears your head for a moment to realize what is about to happen. Pulling back your gaze meets his and he stares back at you with caution, ready to stop whenever you tell him to, but that’s not what made you pull back.

“Harry, I…” “We don’t have to do anything,” he softly tells you, his fingers dancing down the side of your face until they reach your chin and he pulls you in for a delicate and slow kiss.

“I want to,” you whisper. “It’s just that… I want you to know that I’ve never… I’ve never been with a man before.”

Searching in his eyes you look for any sign of what’s going on in his head wishing you could just simply read his thoughts.

“You’ve never been with a man?” he asks, seemingly not as surprised as you expected him to be. You nod, licking your lips, waiting for any kind of reaction, a part of you expecting to be upset, though you know he has no right to be mad at you for any of it. “Do you want me to be the first man?” he then asks, with a loving and warm smile as his hand on your hip pulls you against him playfully.

“Yes.”

“Then help me get you out of this jumpsuit, because I can’t figure it out for my life,” he chuckles making you laugh too.

You show him where the corset opens and then get you out of it with joined forces, finally leaving you standing in just your underwear. Harry’s gaze runs down your body, a look of hunger and passion shining through his green irises as he pulls you close again, kissing you with a lot more vigor this time.

Soon enough, his slacks slip to the floor and you climb to your bed, Harry following closely, climbing on top of you before rejoining your lips. Your knees open up wide for him, allowing him to sink his hips between your thighs, his crotch meeting your heated center, a moan slipping out your lips when you feel his erection rubbing against you through the material of your underwear. He kisses his way down your jawline and neck, gently sucking on the soft skin, peppering kisses along your collarbones before he reaches your chest. He easily unclasps your bra and slips the straps down your arms before getting rid of the barrier that’s been keeping him away from your naked chest.

“Fuck, Y/N, you are so damn beautiful,” he breathes out shakily, before his lips wrap around your right nipple, his hand cupping your other breast. You keep whining and whimpering as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple before his mouth moves over to the other breast, giving it just the same amount of attention.

He kisses down your stomach, glancing up at you as he hooks his fingers into the elastic of your panties silently asking for your permission to go further, still so respectfully looking out for you. As an answer, you lift your hips up so he can easily slide the material down your legs and throw it to the side.

“Oh fuck!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your bud, playing with it oh so perfectly, making you shudder. If you didn’t think Harry was perfect, his tongue work is now surely making a statement on that.

With every lick, kiss and suck he pushes you closer to your release that’s nearing in a fast pace like never before. Reaching down you lace your fingers through his chocolate curls, tugging on the lightly, making him moan against your core. You’re not sure how long you’ll last, but you want to cum with him inside you, so you pull him up, lips meeting again as you still taste your own juice on him. It’s heavenly.

Without breaking the kiss you reach down and into his underwear, palming his fully hard cock, earning a satisfied growl when you wrap your hand around him. The feeling is quite unknown, you’ve only once had to face a penis before, it happened back in high school when you were still figuring out what sexuality meant to you. Gave a wobbly and quite short handjob to a guy from the grade above you, never even talked to him again. The experience left a major effect on you, never even got close to being intimate with a man, but being with Harry now is putting everything into a whole new light.

“Do you have a condom?” he mumbles against your lips, clearly just as excited to carry on as you are.

“Yeah,” you nod and let go of him, rolling to the edge of the bed so you can dig into the drawer of your nightstand, successfully finding the little silver packet. Tearing it open you hand it over to Harry and get back to your previous position as you watch him kneeling up, rolling the condom on carefully. Your lips part when your eyes fall on his cock, seeing now how big he really is. Harry catches your eyes and leaning down he kisses you softly.

“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay?” he kindly tells you, but you smile at him coyly.

“You might be the first man I’m with, but your dick won’t be the first thing to be inside me,” you answer with a smug smirk and it brings an amused look to his face.

“You are so fucking hot,” he murmurs, pressing his lips against yours in a hard kiss as he settles himself back between your legs.

Though you really tried to sound confident the other moment, you still feel a little nervous about it and Harry senses it right away. Holding himself up on one arm he cups your face in his other, kissing you slowly, taking his time with his lips, as if he is trying to make you forget about everything else but his lips.

“Are you still sure about this?” he softly asks, looking for any sign of hesitation in your eyes, but there’s none.

“Yeah, I want this. I want you,” you nod and reaching down between your bodies, you take him in your hands again, positioning him to your center.

Harry captures your lips in another passionate kiss as he pushes into you slowly, filling you up inch by inch. You gasp at the sensation, feeling a little tight around him, but not in an uncomfortable way.

“You alright?” he asks once he is almost fully in.

“Yeah, go ahead,” you breathe out with a small nod. He pecks your lips and slowly pushes all the way in before he starts to move out and then slide in again, picking up a not too fast but still firm pace with his movements.

You gradually get used to the feeling of him sliding in and out of you, it’s surely a whole different experience than using a dildo or any kind of toy you are used to. The thought that it belongs to him is bringing you a sense of intimacy you haven’t felt in a long time.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you dig your fingers into his hot skin that’s coated with a thin layer of sweat as he keeps moving, slowly picking up his pace as you both get closer to the endgame.

“Harry, faster, please!” you plead, legs coming to wrap around his waist so he can thrust in deeper, making you go completely nuts from the way your orgasm is already forming in the pit of your tummy.

He obeys without a second thought, slamming into you faster and harder, making you continuously moan his name, the room is filled with moans and panting, the slapping noise of his hips meeting yours.

Harry buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the soft skin, definitely leaving a mark, but you couldn’t care less. You just grab a handful of his hair, shutting your eyes closed as you feel yourself nearing the end.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum,” you pant, barely hanging on.

Instead of stretching it out and trying to play with you, Harry clearly wants you to combust. Reaching down between your bodies his index and middle fingers find your clit and he starts circling on it, adding that little extra you needed to fall over the edge.

Moaning and whimpering under his massive body, your orgasm washes over you in waves, bringing you such an intense satisfaction you’ve never felt before. He keeps up his thrusting and just a few moments later his movements fall out of his rhythm and mumbling your name over and over again, he gasps as he rides his high while you’re still trying to catch your breath following your own.

With a heaving chest Harry rolls off of you, gets rid of the condom and throws it to the small bin you keep next to your night stand and then lies flat beside you as you both just silently stare up at the ceiling, very much in the best kind of after sex haze.

“How are you feeling?” he then asks, rolling to his side, his hand coming to rest on your bare stomach. Turning your head to the side you crack a smile at him.

“I feel like I’ve just been properly fucked,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh wholeheartedly. Rolling to your side his arm falls to your waist as you scoot closer, your face only a few inches from his. He is so pretty up close, his features never fail to amuse you, hard to believe he is a real human, lying right next to you.

He closes his eyes a little, letting his head sink into the pillow as his fingers delicately dance up and down your side and back. You feel like you owe him to say something, dropping a major detail about yourself in a heated moment.

“I had two girlfriends,” you speak up, his eyes fluttering open to your words. “The first one was when I was eighteen, we dated for almost a year, then I briefly dated a guy, but it was barely just a month. And I had my second girlfriend when I was twenty. We were together for two years.”

“Are you still friends with them?”

“I still talk to the second one. Her name is Mila. We broke up because she moved to Spain for a job for a year and we didn’t want to do long-distance. Then we just… grew apart, but we still talk sometimes. She lives in Atlanta now, she has a girlfriend and she told me that she is planning to propose soon.”

A soft smile tugs on your lips as you talk about her. She was an important person in your life in a time that was truly challenging. Mila supported your dreams, she went to a lot of your concerts and she was the first one you called when you got your record deal even though you weren’t together anymore. She has seen you go from performing in dodgy bars to rocking the stage of arenas.

“Congrats to her,” Harry smiles through tired eyes. Reaching up he tucks your hair behind your ear before leaning closer he envelopes your lips in a soft kiss.

“We really shouldn’t have done this,” you hum, though you can’t wipe the satisfied smile off your lips.

“Why not?”

“Because we work together.”

“So what? We aren’t allowed to like each other?” he smirks cockily.

“You like me?”

“Thought I made that pretty clear,” he chuckles rubbing his eyes. “But yeah, I do like you, Y/N. A lot.”

“I… like you too,” you admit shyly. Leaning in he kisses you again before pulling you to his chest as he lies on his back.

“Can I stay the night or you want to throw me out?” he hums closing his eyes. Chuckling your snuggle to him, making yourself comfortable, enjoying the warmth of his body after so spending so many nights alone in this bed.

“You can stay, but you have to behave.”

“Oh I will behave my best, don’t worry.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest as you both fall silent and soon enough, drift off to sleep.

You wake up tangled in the sheets, but no one else is lying in bed with you. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes you look around and though there’s no sign of Harry in the room you spot his clothes on the floor. That’s when you hear the pots and pans clinking somewhere outside and you smile to yourself. You pull a t-shirt on with a pair of clean panties before heading out, finding Harry in your kitchen, wearing your pink fluffy robe and nothing else as he is making what seems to be pancakes.

“I don’t remember hiring a chef,” you joke walking closer, sliding a hand down his back as you lean against the counter next to the stove.

“Good morning,” he smiles. “I really wanted for you to wake up but I was afraid my growling stomach might wake you up,” he chuckles as he flips the pancakes in the pan with the spatula.

“Found everything you needed?” you ask, walking over the fridge to grab the orange juice.

“Yeah, you have a neatly organized kitchen,” he hums. “Sorry for snooping around though.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pouring the juice to two glasses you hand one to him which he thanks softly before placing the golden pancakes to the plate on the counter and pours another bunch into the pan.

Sipping on your juice you watch him move around, making breakfast in your robe and you can’t help but smile at the sight of this fine man in your kitchen. Harry catches you eyeing him and he cocks an eyebrow at you.

“What’s gotten you so smiley?” he asks, his voice still a little groggy and husky.

“I just… really want to kiss you,” you shrug placing the glass to the counter.

“I think we are over this whole asking for permission thing,” he smirks, stepping closer he leans down and kisses you gently, tasting like orange juice and something sweet, he has probably ate one of the pancakes. His hand that’s not holding the spatula finds your waist, the t-shirt bunches up on your side as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss before you hear sizzling coming from the stove.

“Whoops, not trying to burn the place down,” he chuckles as he turns to the pan and flips the pancakes. You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss his jawline before stepping away from him to set the table for breakfast.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” he asks over breakfast.

“I have a meeting with my label on Saturday, but nothing else.”

“I’m having a few friends over Saturday evening, kind of a late Grammy nomination celebration. Want to come over?”

“Yeah, that… sounds good,” you nod smiling.

“I was thinking that maybe you could spend the night and then we can finish recording on Sunday.”

“Alright, I’m in.”

Harry takes a quick shower after breakfast before heading out, promising to call you later and though it still feels a little odd that he says goodbye with a kiss, you very much like this new setup between the two of you.

Friday evening Taylor is over at your place, she loves helping you sort out promo stuff you get sent all the time, especially because you let her take whatever you don’t want, half her closet was meant to be worn by you.

Sitting on the floor with boxes surrounding the both of you, you’re digging through them with a bottle of wine, some 90’s music playing in the background, it’s a nice and relaxing evening.

Your phone lights up with a text on the coffee table and you already know it’s from Harry. You haven’t stopped texting since he left from your place just a few days ago.

Harry: Do you think it’s a look for the Grammy’s?

He attached a photo of himself in all denim, looking very much like 2001 Justin Timberlake at the AMA.

Y/N: Should I match and pull a Britney?

Harry: Is that even a question?!

“Okay, who’s the girl?” Taylor asks, making you tear your eyes away from the phone’s screen.

“Huh?”

“Last time I saw you smiling like this at your phone you were talking to that girl you met at that award show. So who is it this time?”

“It’s… not a girl,” you admit, placing your phone back to the coffee table.

“Oh, did a guy finally manage to sweep you off your feet?” Taylor gives you an amused look, genuinely surprised to hear that this time it’s a guy that has you wrapped around his finger. “What is his name?”

“Harry,” you shortly answer and see her eyes widen.

“Wait, is it… Harry as in Harry Styles?”

“Yeah,” you admit with a soft chuckle.

“Oh my God, I knew I could feel some sexual tension between you two at Jeff’s office!”

“There wasn’t any, what are you talking about?”

“You didn’t see it because you were too busy trying to blow off the duet, but it was radiating from him.” She gives you a look, putting the sweater she’s been examining to the side. “So, how are things? Are you guys an item, or…?”

“We didn’t label anything, he just said he likes me and I like him too. And he… spent the night the other day.”

“Wait, what? Spent the night as in—“

“Yes, we had sex,” you confirm blushing.

“That’s like huge! The first man you’ve been with!”

“I know,” you chuckle.

“How was it?”

“Fucking amazing,” you truthfully admit with a sigh. “I didn’t think it could be this good with a guy. Maybe it’s just because it was with him.”

“He surely looks like a guy that takes good care of his girl. So what’s gonna happen? Are you guys together?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to care about names and labels, he just likes to do whatever he wants and if I’m being honest it’s kind of refreshing. We are just… enjoying whatever we have.”

“That sounds very liberal,” Taylor chuckles. “But I’m happy for you. You’ve been alone for way too long, I think he might do good to you.”

“I really hope,” you nod with a sigh.

“How is the song writing going?”

“We’re finishing up recording on Sunday. I’ll send it to you when it’s done and we can start all the paperwork and everything.”

“Amazing, you are doing great, Y/N, I’m proud of you,” she smiles and climbing over she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Tay,” you smile at her. “Alright, now do you want these lace socks or should I burn them?” you ask holding up a whole pack of them, making her laugh.

Harry said it’s just a chill get together, nothing fancy so you decide to wear a khaki maxi skirt with a shirt tucked into it that was a gift from a fan, your first album’s name embroidered to the front. It’s one of your favorite pieces and you like wearing things your fans make you, gives the whole fit a plus.

Arriving to Harry’s place you spot that there are a few cars already parking on the driveway. You leave your overnight bag in the trunk, grab the bottle of wine you’ve brought and head inside. Unlike every time you’ve been here, the silence is now switched up with soft music and chatters, quite a few people lingering around the house already.

Just as you walk farther inside, Harry appears on the stairs and his face lights up at the sight of you.

“Hey! Did you just arrive?” He jogs down the rest of the stairs and walking up to you he pulls you close for a quick kiss without hesitation.

“Yeah. I know you said not to bring anything, but I hate coming to parties empty handed,” you chuckle softly, holding the wine bottle up.

“Thanks. Have you eaten? Jeff is grilling outside, but help yourself with anything.”

“I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Sarah and Mitch are already here, but come on, let me introduce you to a few people.”

Harry takes your hand, lacing your fingers together with his. He drops the wine off in the kitchen before joining all the other guests. It’s really not that many people, just about thirty of his close circle. Musicians, people he has worked with and stayed close with, people he has known for long. Everyone seems welcoming and open, many already know who you are and it’s always a good conversation start, so there are not many awkward silences, especially because Harry is always near you, making sure you feel comfortable around his friends and it means a lot to you.

“Hey, everything alright?” Harry asks, when he finds you in the kitchen, refilling your glass. He walks up to you, placing a hand to your waist as he kisses into your hair.

“Yeah, your friends are nice,” you smile at him.

“I know, that’s why they are my friends,” he smirks, so full of himself. “Want to hear something interesting?”

“Always.”

“I was talking to Adam and our song came up and then out of nowhere I referred to you as my girlfriend.”

Seemingly he is testing the waters, trying to see how you react to the title, even a little afraid of what you might say, but it doesn’t scare you.

“Yeah? That’s interesting indeed.”

“Are you okay with it? I wasn’t really thinking about it, just slipped out.”

“It’s fine,” you smile at him softly.

“You don’t have to call me your boyfriend, call me whatever you want. It’s just a habit of mine, I guess,” he explains, popping some nuts into his mouth from the little jar on the counter.

“Alright,” you nod. Harry stares back at you for a moment before a smile stretches across his face and leaning down he kisses you shortly before taking your hand and walking back to the living room with you.

The last guests leave around midnight. After bringing your bag up to his bedroom you start cleaning up while Harry walks out the last couple leaving. You start loading the washer and put away things you’ve cleaned before.

“Oh, thank you for cleaning, but you don’t have to. I can take care of it later.”

“It’s nothing, I want to make myself useful,” you chuckle softly as you start the washer. Harry comes up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he kisses into your neck.

“I have other ideas for that,” he murmurs, his nose nudging the side of your face.

“Yeah? What kind of ideas?” you teasingly ask, closing your eyes when you feel his hand slide under the waist of your skirt, moving down your abdomen until it reaches your core.

“Fun kinds,” he chuckles lowly. His other hand turns your head so his lips could meet yours, you’re still pressed up against him, melting against his chest with your back just right, like you’re two puzzle pieces.

“Fuck,” you breathe out when his fingers wander into your underwear and they start doing their magic. “Harry!” you whine, reacting intensely to his actions.

“I fucking love hearing my name from your pretty mouth,” he growls, kissing you hard before his lips part from yours and he starts bunching up your skirt.

You don’t protest, in fact, you lean forward, grabbing onto the edge of the counter as he pulls down your panties and you hear the zipper of his pants. Glancing over your shoulders you see him pull out a condom from his pocket and you can’t push down a laughter.

“Did you keep that in your pocket all evening?”

“Wanted to be ready when I finally got you all for myself,” he smirks, pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, rolling on the condom.

His hands come in contact with your hips and ass cheeks, giving them a light squeeze before you feel him lining himself up with you. His palm slides up your back as he pushes into you, both of you moaning at the fulfilling sensation.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he breathes out as he pushes all the way inside before starting to pull out.

“Go hard, Harry. Please!” you whimper as he starts thrusting into you. Harry lets out a growl and slams into you, making you gasp at the harshness of the movement, but that’s exactly what you wanted.

The kitchen is filled with the noises coming from the washer next to you and the slapping noise of Harry’s hips meeting your ass with every forceful thrust he makes. His ring clad fingers dig into your hips, probably already making them red, but you couldn’t care less. You hold onto the edge of the counter, but then you move one hand to cover his on you, needing to touch him in some kind of way.

Leaning forward Harry kisses your back between your shoulder blades through the thin material of your shirt and you moan his name when he hits the perfect spot inside you.

“Shit, Harry! I’m g-gonna cum!” you gasp, perking your ass up more so he can go as deep as possible.

“Let go for me, baby. Come on!”

“I want to cum with you.”

“Yeah? Then hold on for a little longer, I’m almost there.”

You try your best to keep everything inside you under control, your orgasm is really on the edge and you can only hope he is nearing his end too.

“Harry! Please!”

“Fuck, okay, okay, cum for me! Let me feel you!” he moans and his words bring you the release.

You clench around him, moaning and whimpering and it finally pushes you into his bliss too. His thrusts slow down but they are hard and go deep, helping you ride the last bits of your high.

He pulls out and gets rid of the condom before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you up from your position so he can kiss your lips.

“How about we take a shower while the washer finishes?” he suggests, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Mm, good idea.”

Once the song is fully finished you submit it to your label after an agreement that it should come out through yours, but it wouldn’t be tied to your or Harry’s upcoming album. Everyone seems to love it, Taylor is over the moon when you show her the final version and Jeff is just as happy about it. Having only three more weeks left until the Grammy’s, you send them your request to perform the duet instead of the medley they asked. Their answer comes the next day and they are more than happy to have you premiere your new duet at the show. Everything seems to be on track.

Following a rehearsal for the Grammy performance, you’re staying over at Harry’s, just eating takeout and having a lazy evening after a whole day of working. You’ve put on a new Netflix movie, but every time you look at Harry you feel like his mind is somewhere far away.

“Want to share what’s on your mind?” you ask softly, not wanting to be pushy, you’re just trying to be there for him.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“About what?” He looks up at you, clearly hesitant whether he should share it with you or not.

“About what you said about your parents.”

“Oh,” is all you can say. Pausing the movie you turn all your attention to him. “What about it?”

“I was just talking to my mom the other day, she is coming here for the Grammy’s and I thought about how you… won’t have your parents there with you.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

“Yeah, but then I thought about how you said you haven’t even let them contact you since then and that maybe they’ve changed their mind about the whole situation. You’ve clearly proved them wrong with building yourself a career, maybe they can now see that what they did was wrong.”

You remain silent, chewing on his words. You’ve been great at not thinking about your parents these past years, it feels weird to have a conversation about them out of nowhere. Harry takes your silence as a warning sign, though that’s not the case.

“You know what? I’m sorry for bringing it up. It’s not really my business, I shouldn’t have brought it up, sorry,” he shakes his head.

“What… would you do if you were in my place?”

Harry looks at you, surprised you are willing to continue the conversation. His hand finds your thigh and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I think it might worth a shot to just… contact them. See if they want to maybe get in touch again.”

“And what if they don’t?”

“Then… you know you made the right decision leaving. I know it’s scary, but I think you should take a chance.”

“I’ll… think about it,” you nod shortly.

“Take your time, do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you get comfortable in his embrace before starting the movie again.

Two weeks before the show you are headed to a fitting with Harry, your matching sets are nearly done, but they needed you to try them on and make sure they fit just perfectly. True to your and Harry’s extravagant fashion, this performance won’t lack any over the top fits either. It was clear from the beginning that you would be matching, but you made it clear that you want to bring it to the level where you’d be wearing the exact same outfit, so now there are two sets of suits in the making, the pattern of the whole two piece is recalling a kind of space vibe, blues, purples and black meeting in the colors with hundreds of embroidered stars and planets littering the fabric with additional crystal stars to make it even more extra. It’s truly one of a kind, especially paired with the sheer, tulle shirt you both will be wearing underneath.

“We look fucking great, babe,” Harry smirks as the two of you stand next to each other, examining yourself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror on the small podium.

“We really do,” you smirk, satisfied with how the performance is coming together. It’s gonna be the perfect way to celebrate both your first Grammy nominations, a huge milestone in your and Harry’s career as well.

Grabbing his phone he quickly takes a picture in the mirror of the two of you, pulling you to his side as you smile into the camera through the mirror. Then you leave him alone on the podium as they are pinning his pants to make it the perfect size. Stepping to your bag you fish your phone out and reading just the first few words of Taylor’s last message she sent about ten minutes ago, you feel all blood rushing out of your face. Tapping on the notification you start reading.

Taylor: Please don’t lose your head, but we are dealing with this.

She attached several articles and you start digging through them.

“Is Harry Styles dating his new duet partner?”

“Harry Styles cozied up with Y/N Y/L/N at dinner with friends.”

“Can we expect some hot make out sessions at the Grammy’s from Harry and his new beau?”

And then there’s the absolute worst.

“Is Y/N Y/L/N going to take Harry Styles to court too?”

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble under your breath, vigorously typing back to Taylor to take them down. Two pictures have been leaked from the time you had dinner with Sarah and Mitch, it’s so odd because it’s been weeks since then, where were these pictures all along? Not that it matters, all you want is for them to be gone.

Against your better judgment, you go online and check your social media even though you know you shouldn’t snoop around now that it’s out there. No surprise, you and Harry are trending, but the reactions are very much mixed.

The impact of your case with Jordan is still major. It doesn’t matter that you won, people are still questioning whether he said the truth or not and now they are afraid you might drag Harry down just like you did with Jordan. That you are just trying to use his fame to get more attention and then ruin his career, making a victim out of yourself again, because apparently that’s what you’ve been doing.

You’re not only being dragged, but all of a sudden, nothing is about the music and the art you are making, people just want to know if you’re fucking Harry Styles or not. A lot of the times you’re not even named, only referred to Harry’s new lover or what’s worse, his hookup. You’ve lost all the credit you worked so hard for and for what? Because you dared to have dinner with a man?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asks walking up to you. Your eyes snap up at him and he immediately sees the shock and anger in them, setting panic in him as well. “What is it?”

“The fucking… pictures,” you hiss handing him your phone so he can see the articles for himself. He scrolls through them with furrowed eyebrows, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip before handing the phone back once he has gotten to the end of it.

“Let’s finish this up and head home, okay? We’ll figure it all out.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and you nod, trying your best to keep your anger at bay while the designers finish up on the outfits.

An hour later you walk into your place, talking on the phone with Taylor, discussing the situation though there’s not much you can do at this point. It’s all out, the pictures can’t be taken down. She suggests to just keep quiet for now, she’ll call Jeff to see what could be done as damage control.

Throwing your phone to the bed you feel your whole body shaking from the anger, it’s agonizing to know there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. We’ll figure it out,” Harry speaks up, trying his best to calm you down, but it’s not really working this time.

“Stop saying it, you don’t know that for sure. I can’t believe this bullshit is happening all over again,” you breathe out shaking your head.

“Again?”

“Yes! I’m being fucking dragged for something I shouldn’t be.”

“People will always have controversial opinion on everything, you can’t get them all to like you.”

“It’s not about liking, Harry!” you snap. “I couldn’t give a damn about people liking me, but they discredit my work. Have you read those articles? I’m seen with a man and suddenly, I’m not even seen as an artist anymore. I’m not even my own person in some of them, just a girl who is linked to you. How is that fair?” “It’s not, but stressing yourself about it until you’re sick is not gonna help anything,” he retorts in a firm voice.

“So I should just sit around and so nothing while watching all my work go to shit?”

“Nothing is going to shit! This is how it goes, there’s always something people talk about but they will forget about it in a week. That doesn’t take anything away from what you’ve proved through your career.”

“Now that’s a lie. Because if they did forget about things in a week, they wouldn’t be bringing up the whole Jordan thing now. I dared to stand up for myself against a man and look where it took me to! I’m the drama queen, the lying bitch who likes to ruin men for apparently no reason and they see me as a threat when it comes to you too. People are talking about how I’ll take you to court as well, they think I’m just using you even though they know nothing about me! And the worst part is that it wouldn’t be like this if I weren’t a woman. Whatever happens, however we react to the situation, it will never have the same effect on your career than it will have on mine.”

“So what, you’ll just live your life without ever doing anything that’s gonna upset people? There will always be someone who’ll judge whatever you do, you can’t do anything about that and if you let them get to you now, they’ll know they can mess with you easily.”

“So I’m just supposed to ignore everything? And not do a single thing about it? It’s easy for you, you’ll walk away from this without a scratch on your name, because you are a white man who can do no wrong in the eyes of the world.”

“Okay, now you are being mean for no reason.”

“I’m telling you the truth,” you retort. “And you know what else is part of the truth? That I’m not even having it the worse. There are women who are even more targeted because of their religion, their skin color, their nationality or sexuality and people don’t even realize how hard it is for any of us. I’m sick of the injustice we have to live with just because of our gender!”

“I do acknowledge the problem on hand, I’m aware of it and I’m all for doing against it, but we are not gonna solve it instantly, it’s a long process. Sometimes we just have to pull back a little, be smart about things.”

“They will never stop about this,” you shake your head, stubbornly clinging onto your opinion. “I won’t be seen as a serious artist anymore, just some girl who was linked to you. It’s fucking done, over.”

“Y/N, what are you trying to say?” Harry asks with caution.

“Exactly what you are thinking about,” you reply with a bitter laugh. “I can’t be a respected artist if I’m with you.”

“That’s not true. It will die down, they will see that you are more than just who you’re dating and everything will be fine.”

“What’s not fair is that I have to work for it to be fine while you are still the same artist you were before it all blew up. Don’t you think it’s unfair?” you call him out and part of you knows you’re being mean and unnecessarily rude to him, but you just can’t control it any longer. You need to let it out and unfortunately, he is the one who is here to take the blame.

“It is, but what are you expecting me to do about it? Release a statement asking people to only talk about my dating life to make it equal? What can be done is that we try to fight this together, show them that you’re more than just a woman who is linked to a man in any kind of way.”

“Yeah, like realization is just gonna hit them,” you snap. “I’m at a turning point in my career, Harry. Whether I win a Grammy or not, this time is going to have an impact on my future. If I’m seen as just a girl linked to you, I’ll never make it. I’ll be forgotten and dragged again and I can kiss my career goodbye.”

You know you were way too harsh, but it’s what you think to be the truth. You didn’t fight your way to this point in life just to be seen as a man’s girlfriend rather than the artist you truly are. And right now, you can’t see yourself get out of this situation without letting go of Harry.

“Y/N, please don’t let this ruin what we have. We can get through this, you can’t let them control your life this much. Who are they to tell you what to do? That’s not the Y/N I know, come on!”

He tries to step closer, reaching out for you, but you take a step back, wanting to keep the distance between the two of you.

“I would prefer to be alone now,” you sternly say, folding your arms on your chest, closing yourself off from him as you don’t even look at him, because if you did, you know you would break.

“Y/N, please don’t do this, we—“

“Alone!” you snap, cutting him off.

He stares at you, hoping you might change your mind, but you’re quite set on this. He knows you well enough to know you won’t budge anytime soon. He lets out a shaky breath and slowly turning around, he heads towards the door as you’re already fighting your tears back. He stops right before he is about to walk out.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N,” he quietly says before walking out, the door shutting closed behind him.

The sobs start immediately and you fall to the ground, tears soaking your cheeks, already missing him more than anything in your life. You really thought it would be different this time, that things might get better, but you were naïve.

The next two days go by in a blur. The whole fucking internet is filled with those damn pictures of you and Harry, nothing has been about any of your Grammy nominations or even about your music, you’ve officially became the woman Harry Styles is dating.

Harry was titled as a Grammy nominee in every goddamn writing that surfaced, he was completely credited for his work while you could be happy if your name was written correctly. With every new article, your faith in having the career you worked so hard for lessened until you felt hopeless. You’ve officially became a dumb celebrity, just a woman who was known to be dating a man in the industry.

On the evening of the second day you have enough. You just read yet another degrading piece of you that was clearly written by a man, they once again talked about your case with Jordan, joking about history repeating itself and you swear you could scream and throw a tantrum like a baby at how useless and helpless you feel.

You put your laptop to the side and reach for your phone, dialing Taylor’s number.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asks right away, knowing well how hard these past days have been. She came over the evening you sent Harry away and tried to comfort you, but nothing could help you that night.

“Hey, I want to ask you to do something and not try to talk me out of it.”

“Oh God…” she sighs, already knowing you’re about to do something stupid according to her.

“I don’t want to perform at the Grammy’s.”

“What? With all due respect, are you fucking stupid?”

“I’m not stupid. But I don’t want to do it.”

“Well, this has got to be the most ridiculous move you’ve ever tried to pull. Why do you want to throw such a huge thing away?”

“I can’t… sing that song with Harry. If I stand on the stage and sing with him… I just can’t do it, Tay.”

“Of course you can! Suck it up! I know you miss him and it fucking sucks what’s happening, but you have to do it!” she tries to convince you, but you’ve already made your mind up.

“No. I’m not doing it. Please let them know that it’s going to be just Harry performing.”

And with that, you end the call.

Taylor knows better than to try to fight you, she doesn’t call back though you know she wants to murder you right now probably, but she’ll come around, she always does. You make yourself a tea hoping to relax your nerves with it though you know nothing can help you now. You wish you had someone to rely on, someone you could talk to right now, but usually Taylor is that person to you and lately Harry has been your support, but you can’t call either of them. The rest of the people you consider friends… they are just not that close to you. You’re left alone, again.

As your gaze wanders over to your phone, a thought pops up in your mind that makes your hands sweat. You think back to the conversation you had with Harry about your parents and you can’t shake the urge off to finally make that call.

“Fuck it,” you breathe out and grab the device, opening up the contacts until you find what you’ve been looking for. Your thumb hovers above the call button for a while before you finally tap on it and start the call. It rings four times before a voice speaks up on the other end.

“Halo?”

“Hi mom,” you reply and hear a gasp from her at your voice.

There’s less than a week left until the Grammy’s. For your own sake, you haven’t been online outside of answering work emails, you just can’t deal with the shit show your life has become on the internet.

You haven’t left your home unless you really needed to go somewhere, did most of your meetings over the phone or videochat and postponed a fitting as well. You’ve officially caved yourself up in your apartment and you are not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Taylor keys herself in, she hasn’t even mentioned that she might drop by, but you’re not surprised. She is probably here to try to bring you out of this pity party you’ve been holding for days. When she sees you lying on the couch in sweats and messy, unwashed hair, she sighs, shaking her head.

“You really need to pull your shit together, Y/N.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling your fuzzy blanket up to your chin.

“No, you’re not. This is not the bad bitch I know.”

“Bad bitches have bad days too.”

“This is not a bad day, you look like a fucking zombie. This is not what a Grammy nominee should look like days before the big show.”

“Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’m performing or anything,” you shrug, but the look in Taylor’s eyes make yours go wide. “Taylor, I’m not performing, you informed them about it, right?”

“This is why I’m here,” she sighs walking closer, sitting on the other end of the couch. “I never cancelled on your performance.”

“I told you I’m not doing it!” “I know, but I was hoping you might come around. But you seem to be still acting like a stupid bitch, so that didn’t happen. However, I’ve gotten an interesting email today.”

She pulls out her phone and opens the email before handing it over to you. Shooting her an unhappy look you start reading.

-

Hi Taylor!

I got your email address from Jeff, wanted to write to you myself. I’ve officially pulled out of the Grammy performance so it’s going to be only Y/N in it. We are also working on a statement to release over the whole ordeal and my lawyers have been after the bigger gossip sites to get the articles down. I want Y/N to have the Grammy experience she deserves and I know it can’t happen with me in the performance. Tell her that I’m sorry for ruining it for her, she deserves so much more. I’m sorry she was brought into this.

I hope to see you soon, take care!

Harry

-

With parted lips, you look up at Taylor who is smiling softly at you.

“He… pulled out for me.”

“He did. Talked to Jeff on the phone, they have already let them know Harry wouldn’t be performing, they will make it official tomorrow.”

“But he deserves this just as much as I do. He is a nominee too.”

“Well, seems like he values you more than his own success.” Taylor lets out a long sigh and scooting closer she places a hand to your knee. “Look, I know you’re upset about how the media treats you just because you were seen out with Harry, and I know that you’re afraid of getting labeled as just the girl he dates and not get taken seriously as an artist, but you can’t let them stop you from living your life how you want to. There will always be judgment, there will always be men who are worse than trash and want to bring you down, but you are stronger than that. Pushing Harry away and being alone for the rest of your life is not a solution. What you can do to put them to their place is give them a big fuck you, date the hottest man in the industry and continue being the bad bitch that you are, fighting against the way you are being treated. Speak up, show them who they are dealing with, share your truth, like you always do! But you can do all of this with Harry by your side. You deserve to be happy and he makes you happy, don’t make yourself miserable because we live in a world where men are still placed above women. Fight for the change but don’t forget to think about yourself as well in the process.”

You feel the tears sting in your eyes. The weight of this past week is just way too heavy to carry, but Taylor is right and you are realizing that you’ve made it harder for yourself. The sobs come before you could stop yourself and Taylor pulls you into a hug.

“I know, I know. It fucking sucks, but you can’t let them win,” she soothes, running her hands up and down your back. “Show them how big of a bad bitch you are and get the man too.”

“You think Harry still wants to be with me?”

“I think that man would be on his knees for you in a heartbeat if you asked,” she chuckles pulling back. “Statement about the performance will be released tomorrow. That’s how long you have to figure it out,” she tells you with a knowing look before leaving you alone with your thoughts, however you don’t have to think long what you have to do.

You have not been the only one these past days took a toll on. The fight the two of you had left Harry completely drained, angry and helpless. He hated that he was the reason you weren’t credited as the talented artist that you are and he couldn’t stop thinking about ways to make it better. That’s when he came up with the idea of pulling out of the performance.

Now he is ready to spend the remaining days until the award show hidden from the world, not even leaving the house. Everyone close to him knows he is better not to be disturbed now, so he is quite surprised when the security system lets him know that someone has arrived.

As you drive up to his house you spot him immediately, stepping out the front door with a shocked look on his face, probably expecting you to be the last person to be there at the moment. You wipe your sweaty palms against your thighs as you walk up to him, feeling anxious to see him and talk to him, especially after the last conversation you had.

“Hey, I’m sorry for coming here without calling or anything…” you shyly start, stopping in front of you.

“Don’t be silly. Come… Come on in,” he clears his throat inviting you inside.

You’ve walked through this front door so many times in the past almost two months, but this is the first time you feel so odd, standing out, like you have no place in here and it’s all thanks to yourself.

“Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?” Harry walks past you but then turns to face you, talking to you with such warmth and kindness, even after how you acted, putting blame on him for something he has no control over. It completely breaks you and can’t stop your eyes from watering as you look at him. You really hoped you’ve run out of tears in the past days, but it seems like that’s not the case at all.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” you breathe out shakily and you step closer to each other at the same time, he envelopes you in his strong arms and you fist his shirt at his chest. “I know it was none of your fault, I just got so desperate and afraid that it might ruin what I worked so hard for.”

“I know. And you were right about everything. Everything you said was true and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t right to be mad at you just because you have different privileges, it’s not like you can change who you are. So I’m really sorry about that, and also for pushing you away when you were just trying to be there for me. I was so stupid,” you breathe out, wiping the tears sliding your cheeks down away.

“You just panicked, it’s okay. Don’t apologize for wanting to protect yourself.”

Resting your forehead against his shoulder you wait for your sobs to die down before you look back up at him. Reaching up he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you warmly and that smile alone ensures you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, with the right person.

“Taylor showed me the email you sent her,” you bring it up, clearing your throat.

“You deserve it all to yourself so people can see how amazing of an artist you are.”

“I’m not doing it without you,” you shake your head stubbornly. “We wrote the song together and we’re gonna perform it together or else I’m not doing it either.”

“Y/N, you know if we step on that stage together they are gonna twist the whole thing and make it about something else. I want you to have this opportunity for your career without me ruining it with just my presence.”

“Fuck them, if they take it as something it’s not. They are not gonna take the chance away from us to perform our song. If they are such fucking dumbasses that they make it all about what’s between us, that’s their own personal problem. If I need to, I’ll go on a Twitter rant and tell them this myself. I want you on stage with me or else I’m not doing it either.”

Harry breathes out through his nose, pressing his lips together as he stares back at you, probably realizing you are dead serious about pulling out of the performance and he is right. He doesn’t even know you were the first one to cancel on it, you’d do it again without hesitation.

“I guess we are performing then,” he cracks a small smile and throwing your arms around his neck you pull him down, lips smashing against his, the kiss mingling with giggles and smiles.

Harry wraps his arms tight around your waist, pulling you up from the ground as he spins you around, making you squeal as you hold onto him.

“I have to call Jeff to call the Grammy’s not to post the statement,” he hums against your lips and he pecks them a few more times before letting go of you to quickly make a call to his manager.

You move over to the couch in his living room as he talks to Jeff, who is luckily very understanding about the sudden change. Hugging your knees to your chest you watch him pace the floor, exchanging a few more words with the man on the phone before ending the call, his gaze dropping to you again. Sitting beside you, he kisses your temple, dropping an arm around your shoulders as you lean against him, head resting on his chest.

“I called my mom,” you drop the bomb suddenly and you can feel him tense up for a moment, probably shocked by your words.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Lifting your head your gaze meets his as you carry on. “She was… very shocked to hear my voice.”

“I bet,” he hums. “What did you talk about?”

“I just… asked how they are doing and told her that I’ve been thinking a lot about them. She sounded genuinely touched by it and said I’m always welcomed for dinner or lunch if I’d like to see them.”

“That’s amazing! See, I told you they would love to hear from you!”

“Yeah,” you smile at him softly. “I think I want to go over sometime after the Grammy’s.”

“I’m sure it’s going to go well.”

“Would you please come with me?”

Your question catches him off-guard he seems surprised that you would want him there, but then his expression softens as he leans down and kisses your forehead.

“I would love to, if you want me there.”

“I do,” you nod.

“Then it’s settled,” he smiles warmly as you lay your head back to his chest, his fingers gently dancing up and down your arm and for once in your life you finally feel settled, like everything is going to be fine.

Highlights of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards: Y/N Y/L/N blows up stage with new hit duet

The killer duo surprised us all with a brand new duet titled Floating Through Space, performed it together on their big night. Wearing matching galaxy themed suits, Y/L/N and Styles have closed off the evening with probably the most success, the latter winning two out of his three nominations, receiving the award for Best Music Video and Best Pop Vocal Album with his latest album, Fine Line, while Y/L/N was titled best new artist, becoming a Grammy winner early in her career.

Tabloids blew up earlier this month when the two singers were photographed cozied up at dinner with friends, speculations started about their possible romance, but Y/L/N has made a clear statement on the question with her red carpet appearance before the award show. Wearing a head to toe black Gucci gown paired with a dramatic cape, the message “I’M AN ARTIST, ASK ME ABOUT MY ART” painted onto it in red, making a bold statement about her opinion on the way the media has been treating the star.

Both singers remained silent on their alleged romance, but proved to be the best of their time with their joined performance with their new emotional duet. Following the song’s debut on stage it was released to the public as a single right away, taking over all charts with its overwhelming success.

Listen to Floating Through Space now on Spotify and Apple Music!

Your knuckles are turning white from the tight grip on the steering wheel as you stare up at the home you grew up in. It looks almost the same, sometime through the years you haven’t been around your parents have painted it a light blue color from the paste yellow, but it’s still… the same.

“Hey.”

Turning to your right you look at Harry who is smiling at you warmly as his hand reaches over and squeezes your knee gently.

“It’s going to be fine. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you, you’re still their daughter.”

“That’s not what they told me the last time I was here,” you whisper, feeling your throat closing up.

“We all say things in the heat of the moment. Seeing how happy they were about this lunch proves that they regret what happened.”

Nodding you take a deep breath to get ready for whatever is going to happen. Leaning over the console you pull Harry in for a kiss and it calms your nerves a little. Getting out of the car he takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know he’ll be right by your side all along. As you walk up to the front porch a sense of strong nostalgia washes over you.

You didn’t have a bad childhood, your parents provided you so much growing up, it’s sad to think what it has become. In a way you feel more anxious than walking the red carpet a week ago for the Grammys even though you’re just meeting your parents, but this is a turning point in your life that needed to come sooner or later.

“I’m right here, baby. It’s going to be fine,” Harry murmurs, kissing your forehead before you ring the doorbell, feeling weird that you come here as a guest, not as someone who belongs here.

You hear footsteps approaching on the other side, two frames appear through the clouded glass of the front door and then it flies open, pushing all air out of your lungs, clinging tightly onto Harry’s hand. There’s a moment of silence and just staring at each other before the tiniest smile tugs on your lips.

“Hi mom, hi dad.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[subjectsix]

I posted this once before under a read more but wanna share it again, so:

the bureau, indirectly or directly, told dylan he couldn’t change, and he believed them.

after piling on the expectations and praise and pressure and trying to shape him to be director like they wanted, telling him it was what he was meant for, they rip the rug out from under him. yes someone died, and then more people died, and he should face the consequences for his actions. and if you listen to his evaluation with carla, he sounds remorseful, panicked, like he wants to apologize or make it right, or at the very least prove himself– he can control it now, please let him back, let him see casper again– he didn’t mean to, he feels horrible– he’s scared, can someone please listen?

but you can hear it, in the very same recording, that he’s decided the bureau’s given up on him. so he leans into it hard. no longer a prime candidate? now a menace, now a danger? in trouble and treated like a prisoner? okay. fine. 

if that recording is post the roberts incident but pre the other deaths darling mentions, then it would be before he’s put in the P6 cell as well, but he already knows he’s a prisoner. a bigger cage with more freedoms is still a cage when he can’t leave and see the sky. he picked up on the idea that the bureau gave up on him, so he ran with it. no second chances, burn with me.

and then the hiss shows up. “i’m better now. the hiss made me better.”

never mind that its an entropic self-destructive force praying on insecurities and half truths and even truths but with wrong ideas and harmful solutions. never mind that the hiss ultimately only cares about its own goals and is all consuming of everything else, and makes you dependent, makes you feel good, makes everything sound good– like trench says, when he was in the flow, it made perfect sense, but when he woke up, it was all nonsense. but dylan thinks he can’t change. he’s bought the lie of the people around him, bought the lie he told himself, bought the lie the hiss sold him: he can’t get better. not in the way he wanted to. but he can certainly try and live up to the terrible monster they thought he was. even if its not true. (and even if he starts to believe them).

but there’s that realization in the haze. its like hes just standing there, watching, and he can’t do anything about it. jesse, can you hear me? did i fall with them?

but there’s the hope, there’s always the hope, always, always, always: grow brighter. that the past is important to learn from, but we can’t live in it. that we have responsibility when we’re in power, but we can’t be too far removed or too overbearing. we shouldn’t manipulate or create so much paranoia and secrecy instead of communicating. but when it happens, we don’t throw it all out– we pick ourselves back up and learn, we grow brighter.

it takes time. its not easy or clear cut. you might not find all the answers, but you know there are some, even if you don’t understand them, you know that they’re there. and you look for them, but you don’t let the obsession get you. you don’t isolate yourself. you lean on others around you. you let yourself be loved and love others even if thats uncomfortable because it’s good. you keep learning, you keep growing, you realize point a to point b looks very different every day, and that moving forward doesn’t always literally look like moving forward. you grow brighter.

anyway. there’s an essay in there about control’s themes probably. i had to yeet all that at a wall tho. i’ll flesh it out more later kesjhfksehf

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 58 - [NSFW] The truth behind the DIR EN GERY misprint, and a mysterious voice...

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome...Um..

T: Ah!

J: What is it?

T: No way!

K: Its 'Young Jump'

J: Ah, Young Jump.

K: I think you already know about this, but we put an ad on it like this *shows back page*.

J: Oh, looks great!

T: Yeah, it does. Very impactful.

K: Its good, isn't it?

T: Yeah, great impact.

K: There's something a bit odd about it.

J: Haha

T: Huh? Where?

J: Eh? Something odd?

K: Yeah, its a bit strange. There's a bit of a mistake.

J: Is the kanji for Oboro correct?

K: Yeh, and this is right, about the release on the 28th of April.

J: And Wenesday is correct, right?

K: Yeah, and the explosion screening schedule is ok.

T: Yeah, it is.

K: The ticket price info is also all fine.

J: Yep.

K: After that there's only this bottom section.

J:Yeah.

T: DIR EN...

T, J: GERY, haha.

J: Has a new band formed?

K: We screwed up.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Its hard to believe, right?

J: Incredible. I did not expect this..Dir en gery.

T: I thought it was like a trick or something.

J: Oh, to make it go viral or..?

T: Yeah, going with Dir en gery.

J: Kaoru, what was it?

T: We'll find out about it here.

K: It was a total mistake.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Seriously? Eh? Really?

K: Yeah.

T: Does that mean it was done on a hurry, if its a seroius mistake?

K: Yeah, I guess so.

J: Well, Tasai, you work for a newspaper, and I also work for Rolling Stone, so we understand this, but our work is handed in for checking, you know, proof-reading. And they do spot mistakes, but honestly, I have never seen mistake of this size before.

T: Yeh. This is at the level of 'accident'. However, there is a case for saying that we cannot attack this. What I mean by that is that we too make mistakes.

J: Yes, thats true. There is that. Well, this goes for magazines etc too, but if you do proof-reading within the organization, for example, if the writer writes an article, the editor will proof-read it, and they may intend to, but if everyone is really busy with loads of other work, they will run out of time. Then they will get it checked by an external proof-reader. Even then there are sometimes still typos left over.

T: Yeah, there are.

J: There are, right? Human error happens.

T: Yeah, like if I misspell a name or something, I can correct it on the digital version, but on paper it appears on every copy out there.

J: Yeah..

K: But like this?!

J: Yeah, we say this, but we've never seen a typo this bad. Like, I've mistaken small details in names and stuff before.

K: Yeah, like Young Jump becoming Young JumP, right?

J, T: Yeh, haha.

K: Not like this! *points to 'GERY'*

J: Haha, this is...

*Sound of strange voice occurs in background - On screen text: 'What was that voice?! One more time.. (Clip of strange voice re-plays) No-one during the filming heard this. Its a mystery voice'*

J: Tell us what happened?

T: Yeah, lets ask.

K: Um, we had the design made, and the designer made the regular logo and put it down here in this fixed spot, so it looked as if the logo was done, even though there was a mistake in it. At the time, I wasn't looking at the band name, I was looking at the overall design, and ths impact it had. Like this image of Kyo from RokumaykanGIG. My eyes were drawn to the best parts of the design. It wasn't really designed to emphasize the band name. Its designed to showcase this top part, so I, like, didn't see it. Die didn't even see it, and he normally checks these really carefully. Even if we miss something, he normally spots it straight away. 

J: Ah, even Die didn't notice it! ???*1

K: Yeah. We were too busy checking that there were no mistakes in the tour schedule.

J: Yeah.

K: But the information is all correct, so if its just the band name with a mistake, well, maybe its ok.

T: This could become a really rare item in time to come.

J: Yeah, cause there isn't gonna be a misspelling with Dir en grey again after this. That point will be strengthened.

K: Not for a while yeah. A long time ago, we had a single out called 'Filth', and there was a mistake in the title of the song on the cover jacket.

T: Eh? So this is the second time this has happened to you?

K: Well...yeh.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, we occasionally make small mistakes *2, but...

T: This is big.

J: Can I suggest something? Good things come in threes.

K: Ah, terrible.

J: So there will be a third time to come, imagine it, it could be both the title and the band name with a mistake.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, what can I do about it now? If you buy the single 'Filth' even now, its still like that. So filth is spelled f-i-l-h..huh? h-f...um, it's..

T: ..t-h

K: f-i-l-t-h, but the i became f, I mean h. So because there were two h's I realised the mistake. If there really is only one h, it could be that they just made the letters look in that style, but they look the same to me.

T: Ehh? I want to line Filth up next to this magazine.

J: Yeah

J, K: Hahaha

T: Don't you have it here? Filth?

K: We do.

T: Lets put them out together!

K: When I saw this (*Young Jump*) though, well, I thought it was quite rare*3, it could become a talking point. If you take a bad thing in a smooth way, someone will notice, so I thought we could just go with it.

J: Brilliant!

K: And then I posted on Twitter, like 'Ooops'. And that was a photo of the actual magazine, so it really was like 'ooops'.

T: As soon as I saw your Tweet, I was like 'Huh?!' and I went to the convenience store and bought it. haha

J: Well, in that sense it is a rare item

T: Can we decide on the correct reading for this? How would you say it?

K: Ge-ri?

J: Dir en gery (ge-ri).

K: jeri? geri?

J: geri? jeri?

T: gari?

J: Its geri, right? Well, jeri is like..

K: In the basic form its geri, right?

J: Yeah. jeri might have to be 'Gerry' with two r's.  Which is best Dir en jeri or Dir en geri?

T: Should we decide? Even though it doesn't really matter.

J: Yeah

J: Dir en geri sounds like a struggling country rock artist or something, haha. Dir en jeri has jellyfish vibes.

T: The official name: Dir en Gery (jeri). haha.

J: I want you guys to do a joke live show as Dir en gery. You could switch parts, like Kaoru, you could be on drums.

K: Ah, but we did kinda do that once, we changed parts on stage. I just made a load of noise.

J: Ahh, so you could do that as Dir en gery somewhere officially and play one song.

T: Ahh, thats a good idea.

J: Do a cover or something.

T: You could do ???*4

K: Er, no. haha.

J: Haha, this will getting bigger and bigger.

T: But I heard recently at the MeguroRokumaykanGIG screening, Kyo said  that Toshiya used to play guitar a long time ago.

K: He was playing guitar the first time we saw him playing in a band...well, I don't know if he was playing it, or just waving it around a lot.

T: Yeah, Kyo said the stage was going wild.

K: Yeah, he wasn't playing.

J: So, when you guys switched instruments on stage, what did you do Kaoru?

K: Drums.

J: Oh, drums?

K: Thats the one I wanna try out the most.

J: So if you guys played as Dir en gery, Kaoru, you would be..?

T: Drums?

K:...Nah....*imitates playing the castanets*

J: Tambourine? Oh, castanets? So, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same instruments you play at the moment?

K: Yeah. As long as we play as a proper band.

J: Yeah, so Kyo could play the recorder..

T: Someone could hit the ???*5

J: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good.

*The single Filth gets passed over*

K: I'll just get it out.

*K shows cover jacket to J*

J: Oh, here, right?

K: Can you see, there are two h's.

J: Yes. I see.

*K shows it to T*

J: The first h is a typo?

K: Yeah.

T: Its a bit difficult to spot though.

K: We didn't even notice, we thought it was just the design.

J: Yeah. Put them together now.

*K puts magazine and CD together*

J, T: Hahaha

K: By the way, it was the same person who designed both of these.

J, T: Haha

K: When he saw it he was so pained.

T: Its ok, ???*6

J: Ahh, well, it can't be helped though.

*On screen note: Again? (weird voice appears)*

J: Even if there is a spelling mistake, its conveying the atmosphere that is the main thing.

K: Yeah, thats the emphasis.

J: But on the other hand, you could say that as soon as 'Dir' appears, people recognise it as Dir en grey, even with this kind of misspelling. The name is that well know.

T: Hmm, yeh

K: Hm, well, yeh, if you look at it up to here. But for us, its impossible.

J: Well, I guess yeah. It goes for Rolling Stones too. For example, if the last n in Rolling Stones became an m, you wouldn't immediately spot it. If it came up all of a sudden, you would just think 'Ah, the Stones'. It's that kind of name recognition. You could see it in that way. But I didn't know it was the same designer who did it both times.

K: Our boss was pretty mad about it.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Really? I see.

K: He couldn't believe it.

J: Well, yeah. Its also the most important part.

T: Well, yeah, and cause its already in circulation.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone can keep it as a treasure.

K: Where's Kami?

J: Yeah, isn't he here?

Kami: Oh, Im here, I was just listening the whole time. People make mistakes, right?

T: They do.

Kami: This is just a mistake. So its wrong to point blame.

T, J: Yes.

J: Kami, have you made a mistake recently or something?

Kami: Im always making mistakes, and always getting into trouble.

J, T: Haha

Kami: As soon as you've made a mistake, it hurts, right?

T: Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, the person who made the mistake knows it, you don't have to tell them.

T: Yeah, that hurts the most.

Kami: I bet if you made a mistake like this though, you'd get into big trouble.

T, K: Haha

Kami: I think you really would.

T: Well, heh, yeah. But if even Die overlooked this..its like a demon interferred..

J: Yeah, unbelievable.

K: But, anyway, Im taking it in a good way. Well, I mean, it's not good to take just any old thing in a positive way, but....its a bit like those remarks by Mori that we discussed recently.

J: Oh yeah.

K: Like how to move on with it.

J: Yeah, we can learn from that.

K: Yeah.

*Sound cuts out. On screen note: Suddenly, we were unable to record to voices. Was it linked to that sound we heard earlier?*

K: Um, the sound..

J: It seems as if the sound went off.

T: I wonder whether its to do with what we just talked about?

K: What, like, 'Stop this conversation?'

J: Haha, like from ths designer's perspective...'Please stop it!'

T: Haha, yeah, 'Please!'

J: So, what about the Oboro single?

K: So, we're at the last stage, just the mastering, and a little more discussion, and we're about finished. And then the packaging. Well, there's just a little bit longer till the 28th, about another month.

J: Well, Im looking forward to it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week. Thank you.

*On screen note: The voice that no-one, including the staff, heard during recording was recorded into the mic data.*

*1,4,5,6 Couldn't catch

*2, 3 Not entirely sure

To top

[thr-333]

Just Another Class Trip :) Part 8

News gets out and everyone handles it calmly and respectfully.

First< Previous >Next

--------------------------

“Hi Tom, Sabine, how are you,” Selina gives a fake smile, not waiting for them to answer, “So Marinette's in town,”

“Yes is something wrong?” Tom asks worriedly.

“No nothing is wrong,” If you didn’t count the villain attacking the pool yesterday as wrong, “It’s just um, you know how I never told you who her father was?”

“Yes,”

“Well, apparently Gotham didn’t need the help and figured it out pretty much immediately,”

“So does that mean we finally get to be in the loop?” Tom’s eyes sparkle, he had always bothered her for the identity of his adopted daughter's father.

“Oh no one special, you probably haven’t heard of him,” They most certainly have, “Bruce Wayne?”

“... You dated Bruce Wayne?” The man who had become like a brother to her asks.

“I’m actually engaged to him now,” that already sounded so complicated and it wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. How did her life become so complicated? Well, at least she had managed to keep Marinette from it, well at least for a while.

“Congratulations!” He booms, “Oh what's the theme? We'll make you a cake! Wait no we cant send it by plane… what am I talking about! We’ll come to Gotham to make it! Unless it’s a destination wedding? A beach might be hard but I’m always up for a challenge,”

“Tom, Tom, it’s exciting I know,” Where did Marinette fall on the nature vs nurture scale? Because these two reacted exactly the same way, “But we have bigger problems right now!”

“What's the matter, Selina?” Sabine asks with motherly concern, much better than Selina could ever hope to manage.

“People figured it out… pretty much the second she stepped into Gotham at that,” Selina sighs, “The press is going crazy with theories, paparazzi basically stalking Marinette, Bruce is trying to talk to her about it … and he saw me with her, he knows somethings up,”

“Do you think it’s time we spilled the beans?” Tom asks, calming down from his wedding excitement, “Marinette's always known she was adopted but…”

“Not that I’m her mother? Yeah,” Silence hangs in the air for a while, the screen being the only source of light in her dark safe house, “You know I can try and work through this, no one has to know,”

“Hm…. if you think it’s best,” Sabine nods, before looking to her husband, “But if you want or need to tell people this would be the time,”

“Is… is that alright with you?”

“We love Marinette, and we know she’ll still love us no matter what, if our little family wants to grow then we should let it!” Tom exclaims, she should have known they would be fine with it, always so accepting that's one of the reasons she chose them to take care of her daughter.

“I’ll think about it,” She promises, cutting off the call to be alone with her thoughts.

Apparently her biggest hurdle was actually plucking up the courage to tell everyone. She thought she should at least tell Marinette, but lo and behold here they were in the Wayne manor waiting to hold a meeting about how to handle the rumor and Marinette is still in the dark. Well, she has no other choice but to commit now, try and get Marinette through her trip and out of the city without anyone being the wiser. Hell, she had kept the world's greatest detective from knowing for all these years surely this would be no more trouble.

Despite that, she ran into a little bitty problem while Bruce was explaining to Marinette how to handle the press; her conscience. It had been this annoying thing that started growing more and more as she spent time around Bruce. And now that they were engaged it decided to be a royal pain in her neck trying to convince her to be honest and tell the truth, how was that going to help with their marriage!

Surely this would be the worst possible place to admit it. Not only was Marinette and Bruce here, but the entire damn Batfamily to boot, sans Jason. If she were to tell now there would no doubt be bloodshed. No, the best way, if she was going to tell them, would be later in private, she could get Bruce to drive them back to the hotel and take a detour along the way, then she could tell them and bam! They would both know and her conscience would leave her alone, that was certainly the best plan of action-

And then Marinette smiled at him and Bruce smiled back, she didn’t even know what was said but goddammit-

“Marinette's our daughter!”

Everything in the room stops. Even those happy to mill about their conversation on the other size pause, a glass drops, she doesn't even wait for it to shatter before continuing. Floodgates are open now, no going back.

“Seventeen years ago, took her to Paris, pretended to be her Aunt, let Tom and Sabine raise her!” She stood up, bolting from the room, not stopping until she was far from Wayne manor.

Yep, I think I handled that well.

They all stood frozen, staring at the door Aunt, no Selina, her Mother had just run out. Everything was silent, for about two seconds before incomprehensible screeching. Or at least that's what it sounded like to her as everyone started shouting over each other.

“Did you know!?”

“No! How would I know?!”

“How could you not know! Everyone else did!”

“You didn’t!”

“That's because he said it wasn't true!”

“How the fuck-”

“Bruce why ,”

“By god how reckless can you be!?”

“This is… wow,”

Marinette didn’t stick around to hear the rest, slipping out the door Selina had disappeared through, like mother like daughter she guessed. Speaking of, she needed to call her Maman and Papa first, had the known all along? She was meant to just be an average girl… who’s a superhero… and vigilante…. And famous fashion designer…. And guardian- ok maybe she hadn't done a great job at the whole ‘ordinary girl’ thing, be she had liked to think she was normal at least once in her life… apparently not.

“Marinette sweetie!” Her Papa’s voice boomed over the call, “How are you?”

“Aunt Selina- not- how- I-”

“Oh, she told you?” Her Maman spoke more quietly than her Papa, calm voice calming her down.

“Me, and everyone else,” Marinette sat down at the steps to Wayne Manor, looking out at the front gardens without really seeing anything.

“Yes we thought she might, are you ok sweetie?”

“I’m shocked,”

“Yes well knowing her she didn’t handle it too well,” Papa spoke knowingly.

“She bolted now I’m stuck at Wayne Manor,” Marinette supplies, not that she really had a better place to be.

“Yes, that's like her,” She can hear her Maman laugh a little, “How are you feeling?”

“A little confused,” A lot confused.

“When she was pregnant with you she came to us, she and Bruce apparently didn’t have a very stable relationship back then and didn’t think either of them could take care of you,” Maman explains, “So she came to us, asking for just to raise you, she wasn't going to be a part of your life but I think she loved you more than expected because she kept coming back and eventually became your Auntie Selina,”

“Thats… wow,”

“Need some time?”

“Yeah,”

“Take all the time you need,” Papa encouraged, “We’re always here for you, and we love you,”

“I love you too,” Marinette smiles, letting the call drop staring off into nothingness.

The Kwamis came out of hiding to cuddle close but left her to her thoughts which Marinette appreciated. They sat in silence for a long time, Marinette worked out that she didn’t mind so much. Sure it was a shock, but it didn’t change how much she loved her parents, and it meant her family had just gotten a little bigger, or a lot bigger as Bruce had introduced her to a lot of people. The only thing left to worry about was the others, they didn’t seem very happy at the news.

Before Marinette can let the dread of that fester too long the front door opens, catching her attention as Bruce steps through. He seemed tired, and was that bruise a punch mark!?- no nevermind she wasn't going to ask. He comes to sit down next to her, neither talking for a while as they both stare out at the garden.

“... So Selina left?” He asks eventually.

“Yep, and I don’t think she’s coming back any time soon,”

“Of course not,” She shakes his head, a little amused, “Did she tell you?”

“No, but my parents knew- wait I didn’t mean!-”

“It’s fine,” He assures, settling her panic, “I just found out, I can hardly be considered a parent,”

“Guess not… What about the others?”

“Oh they’re a little shocked,” Bruce puts it lightly, his bruise being a dead give away, “I think they expected me to adopt you long before suspecting we were already related,”

“Just how many siblings do I have,” Marinette half mutters to herself, “wait- are they my siblings?”

“Depends who you ask, Dick? Yes, I think he already left to find decorations for your room,”

“I have a room?”

“If Dick has anything to say about it, also I suspect Alfred already set you up one, although I couldn't tell you when,”

“Of course he did,” That man seemed to know more than all of them combined, “So does that mean I can stay over some time?”

“Certainly, although I might suggest waiting a day or two,” He looks back at the mansion, light-catching his bruise.

“I might give it three, just to be sure,” She smiles, still wondering what happened there.

They start talking, catching up on each other's lives. Marinette skirts around anything that doesn't pertain to her identity as Marinette, Ladybug, MDC, Starling the whole gang. They are only interrupted by Marinette's phone buzzing, she picks it up, Adrien was the one to call but both Chloe and Kagami are there with him.

“Marinette,” Adrien says urgently, “Remember Cuppy?”

------------

Taglist (sorry put the taglist for another fic before fixed it now)

@smolplantmum @flufflepuffle296 @dawnwave16  @caffeinetheory   @g-arya   @Maribat-2k20   @ladybug-182    @Actual-disaster-human    @fusser90   @messrs-weasley   @soap-lady  @paintedhope7   @zeneralla    @mochegato     @random-nerd-3 @clumsy-owl-4178  @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen   @too0bsessedformyowngood @certifiedbidisaster  @Purplegeekypanda @awkward0ghostfan @theymakeupfairies @tikki-marinette @insane-fangirl-of-everything @elmokingkong @inarachi02 @slytherinhquinn @moongoddesskiana @dast218 @buginetye @redscarlet95 @biodad-bruce-month @hansa-12 @waiting247 @toodaloo-kangaroo @how-to-fuction-properly @trippingovermyfeet @greekmythgal @whatthefox22 @the-alice-of-hearts @bigpicklebananatree @indecisive-mess-named-me @nalu-ismyjam @deepestobservationwombat @salamonka

[zontiky]

au where the apocalypse was never a threat or a concept to begin with

*cracks knuckles* now i could make this a decent upbringing au OR i could make it EXTREMELY COMPLICATED and you know me you know exactly what im about to do ;)

reginald THINKS he’s prepping them all for the apocalypse but reginald is a child-abusing FOOL and an alien BASTARD and there’s no apocalypse there never was there never will be. the world is safe and sound but the hargreeves children aren’t.

five runs away from home and gets thrown into april 1st, 2019. the world is thriving. he did it. he tries to get home but he can’t because he’s stuck and im now realizing that everyone reading this post has seen a million fics with this exact concept but FUCK YOU THIS IS MY CITY NOWWW

so he’s stuck in 2019 and he’s like ah fuck ah SHIT what now! and goes to the academy and it’s not like he was super far away from it in the first place. he didn’t even make it a mile away it’s like a 5 minute walk back home lmao

now because reggie thinks there IS an apocalypse he still killed himself and i hate him a lot so cough ahem anyway

five shows up on the mansion and expects dad to be sitting there in his office, doing his evil dad evil villain thing yk the drill

but instead he comes in to an empty house. mom is unresponsive. he cant find pogo (dont ask where pogo is. hes doing monkey butler things ok). and diego is climbing in through the window

five freaks out because WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU THIS IS MY HOUSE and jumps diego and diego goes down HARD because WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MY DEAD BROTHER?? MY BROTHER WHO DISAPPEARED 17 YEARS AGO?? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKKKK

so they try to beat the shit out of each other for a second and by that i mean five tries to beat the shit out of diego whos gained his senses by now and is trying to convince his brother (his BROTHER) that technically he lives here too please stop punching me

luther comes downstairs.

“IS THAT FIVE???”

“SHUT UP AND HELP ME THIS LITTLE FUCKER CAN PUNCH”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

they manage to calm him down when five catches sight of diegos tattoo

WAIT I FORGOT THAT THE FUNERAL WAS BEFORE APRIL FUCK NEVERMIND SCRAP THE PAST 13 BULLETS ABORT MISSION

so five lands in april, goes to the house, and by then the hargreeves have cleared out and are back to doing their own thing more or less. he comes up to the door and grace (pogo has fixed her by now because i said so) welcomes her son back home like he never even left

she gives him a hug

reginald is gone and she hasnt seen her sun in years and dammit, he deserves that hug okay? she gives him a hug.

five pulls away. mom hasnt hugged him for years because he stopped letting her and he’s not about to change his mind now

“where’s everyone?” he asks. he doesn’t even consider that everybody is gone, because where would they go? or maybe it just hasn’t hit him exactly which time he jumped into, maybe he still hasn’t made the connection exactly what age his siblings are now, maybe he has but he still hopes he can deny it for a little while longer

grace wants to hug him again but she refrains. she calls his siblings

one by one, in the span of the next week, she gets ahold of them and calls them back to the academy. “important news,” she says. “you’ll want to -- you’ll need to be here,” she says. “your brother,” she says, and her children listen and come back home

luther is at the academy when five gets here. because, where would he go? he can’t go back to the moon, and dad is gone, and he’s never even been on a bus alone before, where would he go?

when five sees him for the first time he almost cries, because he’s so much bigger and taller and older and what happened to him??

this is his new reality. this is the new luther

but it isn’t, it can’t be, because five is going to get back home and he’s going to fix it, he’s going to fix this and he’s going to grow up just like his siblings did, and it won’t even be long before he’s back home almost two decades ago.

vanya is next to arrive, and five almost -- almost -- smiles at her and gives her a hug and teases her how she’s still shorter than him, but she has such a blank expression on her face and the way she looks between the portrait of him (he hated that portrait from the beginning, he wanted to burn it because hes back now, isnt he? and he’ll go back home and not leave again, but pogo didnt let him) stops him. it will only be a couple of days and he’ll be going home already, he tells grace, so maybe the others dont even have to come here. she nods and smiles and says nothing

diego comes a day or so later, dragging klaus along, and five is stunned by how they look once again. diego looks battle-hardened and angry like he never did just last week, five’s last week, but now he scowls and doesn’t stutter and dresses himself in black and he lives alone and diego looks so lonely but five doesnt think about it because its not his business and he knows better and its diegos own damn fault for cutting contact, isnt it? and even if it weren’t five will go back and fix it all

five knows klaus has been doing things for a good year or so know, but this -- living on the streets, giggling even as diego forces him inside, making lewd jokes with his eyes out of focus -- he couldn’t have even imagined. he stamps down the feeling of i should have been there to help stop him and doesn’t think how sad and angry at their father seeing klaus like this makes him feel, instead he forces thoughts of it’s his own fault he ended up this way and i’m going to get back and fix this (but that’s not a thought he has to force. he will. he has to. it won’t even be another week before he figures out how to get home)

allison gets there next. she took the first plane she could get on to get home and pushed off all her appointments but she had a family emergency just last week and it was hard to get away and she looks so sad even when she opens her arms for a hug and five cant help but relent and give her one. diego scoffs and allison lets loose a dig thats more of a barb thats more of a sharp sentence splitting the air and hitting her brother square in the chest. five doesnt say anything but his stomach twists. just a week or so and he’ll fix it because even as children they never said things like that to each other

he waits for ben to come last. he must be the most adjusted of them all, right? ben read a lot last five saw of him, and hes one of the smartest of them, and secretly five always thought that ben deserves to have friends that he doesnt live with

ben doesnt come

he asks mom and she smiles and he asks the others and they look away and he asks again and someone -- and it doesnt matter who because his ears are ringing and hes stumbling back and falling onto the couch -- says that ben died. ben died years ago.

ben died four years after five left

fives head is spinning and he needs to get back, he needs to stop it he needs to fix it he needs to make it all better because it was never supposed to be this way

(you thought this would be a happy au didnt you?? haha bitch think again)

(it is but they have to get there smhhh)

klaus laughs and elbows the air next to him and five asks, he doesnt beg, he asks him if he can summon ben

everyone scoffs. rolls their eyes. klaus is high as a kite and hes holding a bottle of whiskey and he looks like he hasnt been sober in days. weeks. years. and he’s a liar and ben is gone for real, im sorry, five. i know this must be hard for you

that can’t be right. five wasnt there for all of klaus’ lies and stealing and drunken sobbing. five remembers klaus rolling a joint at the breakfast table like it was last week -- and it was, it was, he’ll fix it still, but to five klaus is still just his brother. just klaus

he asks, not begs, five doesnt beg but he comes damn close in this moment, to tell him the truth

and klaus looks around and ben whispers please, klaus, just try and five is looking at him with wet eyes and he’s thirteen he’s so young and -- he can’t say innocent. none of them have ever been innocent, not since reginald hargreeves adopted them all those years ago. but five...

he tells the truth. and five believes him

so anyway five cant get back and then they decide well ok five while youre staying here we might as well buy you some clothes. ones that arent literally 20 years old. jesus these uniforms are ugly

my jaw is clenching so hard and im cold asdflksdh so im gonna end this here and maybe rb it and continue lated idk 😳😳

WHOOP this is getting away from me i know u didnt come here for quote poetic unquote bullshit but weihfsdkjdhskf THATS WHAT UR GETTING I GUESS XX <3

[thisfoolwrites]

My Altair (3)

And here’s part 3! Sorry for the long wait, I just worked 6 days in a row and retail is hell when the word snow is uttered on the news! Enjoy and thank you all again for the likes! Also sorry if you notice the name Hana or any descriptions. I try to get them all but I miss some sometimes. 

Warnings: None for this chapter

Genre: Angst to fluff

Part 2

The last day of the camp Kuroo decided that he had had enough. He watched as {Y/N} laughed and smiled with the rowdy Karasuno boys. They had been friends for ten years, and now she wouldn't even speak to him. He waited till the {H/C} girl had gone to get water for her team. He followed her earning confused looks from his team. Kenma stared at the spot where the captain once stood. 'This is not going to end well.' he thought.

“{Y/N},” Kuroo called running after her. Hearing her name her blood ran cold. Two weeks she had gone without this confrontation. It couldn't be avoided forever. She turned and looked at him with cold eyes. The taller male gulped. She had never looked at him like that before. “We need to talk, don't you think?” he all but demanded. {E/C} eyes narrowed in anger.

“And if I say no?” She challenged, voice as monotone as she could make it. “Honestly Kuroo, you are-”

“Kuroo?” He cut her off. “You have always called me Tetsu, or Tetsuro when you're mad. Since when was I demoted to Kuroo?” He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice. It almost caused {Y/N}'s resolve to break.

“Since you told your girlfriend that I was nothing more than a sister to you.” His eyes widened in shock. She heard that?

“Thats not what I meant.” He stuttered with his words. “She was asking all these questions on why I was so close to you and-”

“So you chose to lie rather than to tell the truth? Even after all this time you are still choosing to keep that summer  a secret? God, for being so smart, you're so god damn dumb Kuroo!” She began to raise her voice but quickly calmed down, knowing that everyone would be able to hear her yelling.

“That's what this is about? You agreed to keep it quiet, not just me {Y/N}!” He argued.

“You didn't give me much of a choice.” Her voice was shaking at this point. Her eyes glistened with tears once again, everything about that night was coming back to her. She locked eyes with Kuroo, causing the male shrink back. “I never wanted to be a secret. I just wanted to be with you.” Her voice got quieter with each word she spoke. She turned away and began to walk away to fill up the water bottles again.

“I'm done with this conversation. Go back to the team.” She waved him off. Watching her disappear down the hall he was left to wonder, how long had she been holding in these feelings. Walking back to the gym he was met with the curious eyes of his team, and a scrutinizing glare from Fukurodani's captain. Did Bokuto know something that he didn't in regards to his best friend? No, he supposed he didn't have that title anymore. Watching the older Kozume walk back in with a fake smile on her face he realized, he hadn't had that title since last summer. Knowing that he had lost someone who was always there, hurt more than he had imagined.

Later on at the barbecue, Kenma kept sneaking glances at his sister and then back to Kuroo. Even though they were acting like everything was ok, he knew that whatever they had talked about built a bigger rift between the two. He put his attention back to his game and began to wonder if things were ever going to go back to normal. He was interrupted from his thoughts by a plate of food being put in his face. He looked up to the {E/C} eyes of his sister, who had a soft smile on her face.

“Here, eat.” She pleaded sitting next to him, a plate of food for her as well. He paused the game taking the plate, while looking at her.

“Are you ok?” he questioned. “When you came back from talking with Kuroo your eyes were misty, like you had been crying. What happened between the two of you?” She looked down at her feet before ruffling his hair.

“I'm not ok, but I will be don't worry.” She gave him a small smile. As she went back to eating Kenma figured that she was not going to answer his other question. Looking over at where Hinata was talking to Kuroo and Bokuto, he noticed that Bokuto was glancing over at his sister every once in a while. He figured that it was to make sure she was doing ok. He had been the one to deal with drunk {Y/N} after all. He was drug out of his thoughts by his sister once again.

“Anyway, I'm gonna go save Yachi from the crowd. Eat Kenma.” He watched her interact with the young manager, her smile wasn't forced like when she had returned earlier. Yachi bowed to her in thanks, but {Y/N} just waved her off. It was then he realized, that she hadn't been ok for a while.

It was later in the evening and the boys were packing up their belongings getting ready to leave. The rest of the Nekoma boys had headed down to the bus, leaving Kuroo and Kenma to grab their things. Kenma turned to his friend and saw the dejected look on his face. In the group setting he could laugh and pretend that he wasn't hurt, but with just Kenma he let his guard down. Kuroo saw Kenma looking at him and sighed.

“She’s done with me officially. I don't think I can fix this anymore Kenma.” The younger boys eyes widened. He wasn't expecting Kuroo to actually tell him. “I broke her trust then lied to Akemi about who she was to me because I wanted to be selfish. She heard me say she was only a sister to me, but that wasn't true at all. She was more, but I was too scared about what people would say to do anything about it. I broke her, and it hurts to know I can't help her.” Kuroo quickly wiped the tears that came down his cheeks. Kenma was shocked, he had never really seen the taller male cry before, but was even more shocked at his words.

Kenma wasn't blind to what happened last summer, but he never wanted to bring it up for fear that a fight would happen. He sighed and gave Kuroo a pat on the back before grabbing his bag and heading towards the door. Kuroo turned to look at him, slinging his own bag on his shoulder.

“For the record, the team was rooting for you two.” Hazel orbs widened, “We all thought you'd end up together. Give her more time. You might not get her the way you want to, but I believe you can be friends again.” He continued while walking out the door. He rushed out the door to follow Kenma down to the bus. Not today, but one day he would make this right. As the two boys got down there he saw Bokuto and {Y/N} standing together laughing. Kuroo realized that even though he broke her, Bokuto would fix her. He gave the two a small smile before getting on the bus.

{Y/N} smiled at the owl haired man before her. He was pouting because he wouldn't be able to see her for a while. He complained that he barely got to spend time with her, even though she had pointed out that it was a volleyball training camp.

“You do know you have my phone number right?” She asked the taller man. This just caused him to pout more, in turn causing her to laugh harder. Bokuto perked up at the sound. He loved the melodic sound and it made him smile a bit, but he went back to pouting to keep the ruse going.

“Its not the same as seeing you in person you know.” He grumbled turning his face away. If she had seen the blush on his face he'd never live it down. She glanced up at him one final time after hearing the coaches call for the students.

“Hey Bo,” she began getting his attention back on her, “When you qualify for nationals, I'll take you out to for yakiniku.” She said with a bright smile on her face. The blush came right back to his face, but he noticed that she had one as well. He returned the smile with a bigger one of his own. Without even thinking he pulled the smaller girl into a hug. It startled the girl before she relaxed and hugged him back.

“I'd like that.” He whispered in her ear before letting her go. They both headed to their own buses with smiles. Once she got on the bus she took her spot next to Kenma, humming a small tune. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. He saw her content face and small smile. She was happy. He turned and locked eyes with Kuroo, who also noticed the change in the girl. It broke his heart to know that someone else was taking his place, but it was all his fault. Pulling out his phone he sent a quick text before shutting it off.

Kuroo: Take care of her. Don't make her cry like I did.

Taglist: @samkysnks​ @aurorahoneybuns​

[astrology-with-charu]

20 Jan 3:38pm ET Mars Conjunct Uranus 6º44’

Aquarius Season Begins ! Focus of Feb 2021 by sign :

So we have talked about it, warned about it, fret a little about it and at the same time felt a little excited about it. Mars Conjunct Uranus is here. As its not just a day long transit we have felt this about a week or so coming in and would continue to feel for a week on the way out though it wouldn’t ever be fully out. Fixed aspects are such they are never out of our system.

They create long term shifts in fixed corners of our psyche.

This is the most interesting aspect and to some its scary & erratic as well as it acts out of character or norm and its unpredictable. I have this aspect in my natal chart in a square and I can tell you people who deal with me have that kind of varied response too. Some find my actions interesting, some erratic, some strong willed and some think I am downright nuts - mission accomplished, keep them guessing 😉 When Mount Etna slowly but surely exploded its lava out after seething for a while it reminded me of this aspect. Whatever is hemmed in surely explodes - thats one thing thats certain of this aspect - Need for Freedom.

We take what we want from each aspect and each person so I am going to try and see if we can draw the best of this aspect. It happens every year & in Taurus it helps over seven years release fixity in comfort zone corners of our life in food, in money, in assets, in economy, in voice, in talents. The special and unique thing about it this year and about 2021 as a whole is that this aspect are / will aspect the 5 planets in Aquarius over Jan and Feb - nothing real or noticeable happens without a square - I mean what’s the point if it wont be in your face 😉. You cant ignore a square, its not easy but it makes sure you notice it and do something about it cause otherwise it just hurts too much to live with it. It actives us to make the shift.

So if you feel the pain in places you used to draw comfort from, know its your body and psyche giving you hints like boulders to make that shift.

I noted where and what this aspect is happening in my 2021 note as thats something where every fabric of your being would look for more freedom and shift in. How will it play out though, where would it manifest is another story cause those 5 planets in Aquarius in this season will help you put the sand in the sandpit for you to play in and display your need for freedom, brilliance and change. Mercury will also be going retrograde in Aquarius (30 Jan-20Feb) so you will have some rethink, rework before you put the first layer in - this process will go on this year as Saturn and Jupiter go back and forth over it helping you create source of your next 20 years of growth using this first layer of sand you are putting in Aquarius season.

Videos by sign done before :

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLv3tUTLu8-MT2IvHWqfAHwrOXVpEPjfxw

Across signs Mars Uranus is a volatile energy so physically you would want to be careful with devices, knives etc especially fixed signs : Taurus, Aquarius, Leo and Scorpio especially planets around 7º.

Let’s begin - by sign what are you about to begin:

#Aries : Network, platform, investment gains, group of influential

Looking to have a platform or a group of influential people or a fan base or a set of like minded people - your tribe who can work on the new vision you have of your life. That’s where it will manifest. What’s the driver and what’s the Mars Uranus restleness and brilliance - its in your money, confidence, self respect and assets house. You seek freedom in financials, radical self confidence in your personal assets and its a drive to prove your worth to none other than yourself. It’s you wanting to play and have fun with assets and money without being tied down. Creating all of it from the things that bring you bigger vision of life and helps you connect with people on larger scale instead of being confined and limited in your outlook to life. So you would work on money & asset shifts and manifest it in form of a platform or a network or a group of like minded people working on a larger vision - also through investments beyond a job, gains from investments. Detachment from fixity of assets and any kind of source of income that inhibits your freedom would seem urgent and essential. It might almost feel manifestation of your vision is impossible without it. Money becomes a means to freedom and you look to stop trading money for time as how you spend your time becomes more meaningful. A step towards that vision is what this season is about.

#Taurus : Job, career, leadership style, your title

Looking to start a new job or a new way to do a job or a shift in title - what you are know as and known for, shift in how you are a leader of your life. Driver is you don’t want to be who you were before. You want to detach from your past life in some ways as you would like to be more authentic to yourself, be more of you instead of what others want you to be or see you as. As you “show yourself” so as to speak - the existing mode of how you express yourself - which is normally our profession, our formal title - would also shift with it cause you want it to. Mars Uranus right now might make you feel very rebellious - wanting to jump out of your skin - sorry I don’t know why the werewolf analogy is popping in my head - you are beautiful inside out - but as risk of offending you I will use that analogy. It’s about you about to pop out - if you are a wolf inside and have been a sheep outside, it wont work for you especially not in your job. Yes it can be an erratic display, a conflict, a fight with authority but you know what - its long overdue probably. We can manage how it looks but not how it is - how it is , is how it is. So it would be a bit of truth time and time to move to what’s more real to you as you make a new start this season in your work.

#Gemini : Travel (jeez talk about being a tease), adventure, higher education, publication, putting your content on a platform, teach, higher mind

Geminis are going places, wanting to start something that gives them adventure, gives them that high vibe they crave. Aquarius season activates a very positive and to some extend radical part of their chart - this is what makes them so brilliant and interesting. They get radical also positively. They look like they are thinking of ten things at a time seemingly lost on all ten but inside they are synthesizing how to take over the world. This is where Gemini converge all they have learned and put it into a book, into a publication, on a platform, they teach, they engage with people who are different and far from them using tech and state of art platforms, they create state of art platforms to publish information thats useful and meaningful. Their drive is this Mars and Uranus bringing all thats within to right in from of them - they don’t feel scared any more of endings, of facing any demons within or outside, of facing their own fears - they have got to do it cause they are after finding their place in this wide wide universe. They are after establishing meaning of their existence and wanting to make it valuable beyond imagination. They want to wrap all their hidden talents, hidden insecurities and light it all on fire to get out in the open. It’s almost like they are asking - let me see how my worst fears play out - let me see what was I really afraid of. So I don’t ever have to use that word “fear” ever again anymore. Preach Gemini we are all ears!

#Cancer : Give & take in partnerships, Karmic, depth, healing

You know they say those who hurt so much, learn to heal others of their hurt. I always think of Cancerians when they say that. Cause why else would God or higher powers make them feel so much... unless it was to help them understand how every living being feels in every living instance. Human emotions isn’t the only thing Cancerians are expert on using their intuition on - they are sensitive on knowing the undercurrent of society and even financial world if they apply themselves to it. They are brilliant in seeing things below the surface but they create a protective layer even against their own intuition sometimes cause sometimes what they see hurts them. That sometimes makes a Cancerian stay in dysfunction longer than they should. So its a new wave of detaching ourselves from what’s karmic what’s bad for us and our intuition has told us so many times but we have been shielding ourselves from our own knowing. Its time to start a new ledger and put a knot on all old karmic ties so you establish a blank slate. A new start in much more powerful way of being when it comes to partnership, seeing the writing on the wall and handle give and take differently in relationships, use your depth and intuition in financial matters where you know things way ahead of time. Using your knowledge of matters unknown to others by putting that knowledge out on a platform, on a screen, for wide population to see. Sharing your depth, your knowing, your ideas with a larger set for their benefit versus reserving all your heart and love for one. Uranus and Mars will introduce you to unique people, offer you opportunities to work on new and state of art platforms to put your knowledge on and help you detach from past patterns in relating to others. Love is a tough topic, actually not love but intimacy and that depth & returns you seek in relationship is cause may be for far too long we have been mistaking unease, dysfunction, pain and karmic for depth and love. Love is not supposed to feel like pain. This is process of relearning it all by detaching from dysfunction. Starting new without the heavy.

#Leo : Clients, contract, commitment

Restless restless Leos have been looking for that thing, that thing they don’t know what thing, but that thing in their work, in their business, in their title, in the way they rule that domain of theirs - that links what they feel inside with a manifestation outside. They feel like a king or a queen inside - larger than life, magnanimous, caring for the people who benefit from just their smiling confident gaze. That’s their true self, that’s who they were born to be. But then life got in between and daily annoyances, need to pay the bills and take care of people got in the way. Licking the wounds of not being themselves for far too long, Leos have been waiting to roar. Fixed signs are triggered and Leos are on top of the list cause they crave and need to break out of these shackles that hold their mind down and make them be who they know within they are not. The place they would want to be themselves the most would be in how they handle their job, their work and especially in the one on one interactions with their clients and partners. You are preparing a stage for your enormous potential. It could be by working towards a new contract that allows to access to the client or people who you crave to connect with or gives you the kind of freedom and eclectic freedom and brilliance in work you crave. You want your clients, your partners, your platform to benefit from your ideas and brilliance. You need a mode to convey that - may its not in the traditional job or may be a traditional job needs to follow some new rules to make that happen. Either ways if there is not a way you will make a way - such is the fixed intensity of your Mars Uranus in your career - it will make you jump through jobs, rebel at jobs, create unique roles, create unique career - till you have got it. What would you start new to make it all happen - a new contract, a new commitment, a new partnership or a unique disruptive partner which helps you explore your own psych to see why any of the titles not fitting who you feel within. May be cause what you want doesn’t exist right now, may be cause you are a creator and not a follower, may be its time to stop looking for someone to create what you want and make it yourself.

#Virgo : Order, job, project, coworkers, work place, mind body connection

When Uranus first entered their house of higher mind over two years back, it was almost like something very subtly but surely shifted in them. Whatever they thought they knew about life and where theirs’ is going at least changed. It’s a weird thing - philosophy - its supposed to be nebulous, non physical thing but its one thing in our life which if shifts - everything consequently has to shift to adjust it. As their philosophy in life shifted and is in process of fully changing who they are - Virgos have to adjust the most important thing in their life to adjust that to go with it - their own daily routines, the thread of life that runs their physical existence - their processes, their work environment, who they work with and what kind of projects they work on and most importantly how they take care of your body. Its a cause of friction when your life philosophy and who you are within has expanded but you still continue to work with the same people or employ the same people you did before or the way you handle your body and your routines stay the same. When your higher mind has been set free you need to start a new chapter in your physical reality as well - new start in your own daily routines, when you work out, where you work out, how you take care of your body, what kind of projects you work on, who you work with or who you hire, what’s the structure of your work place, what’s the kind of workplace you go to. Its got to reflect it all - your daily environment has to mirror your higher vision else you will feel a friction in your body and that friction would show up in form of non stop conflicts with coworkers or unease in health. Use this season to break a pattern and start anew.

#Libra : Risk appetite, love, passions, children, joy

People have a lot against pandora box - I love the unexpected nature of it all - I love the fact that it shows that side of us that we knew was in us but it wasn’t oh so kosher to show up cause of others. But when you close it - the gifts go back in as well as does hope, joy and passion. The very balanced and my beautiful Librans can write their own book on balance and the evils of opening such boxes but what if it was knocking on their own doors. Uranus and Mars wakes up a dormant yet very important part of Librans thats not only powerful, its essential to help them make their passions come to life. Some call it kundalini release some call it that coiled serpent - one thing thats common in it all is that its not something that anyone attaches with a Libra archetype. Its raw passion, even anger, jealousy, need to be powerful, establish that right give and take in partnership, knowing your own worth and not being shy of making it evident and asking returns that corraborate that. Its somewhat essential to release that - cause its also the part of you that helps you go after your desires, helps you take a bit of risk in your love and professional life, helps you give birth to what you love and would cherish as your legacy. So thats where we begin - driver is to come into your own power, to release archaic ways of give and take in partnership, to let the patterns play out as they should and not on basis of how good or bad they look. What you start new to give that drive an outlet is a new passion, a new appetite for risk in life and that could be in form of a new love, a new hobby, a child, a business thats like a child - its you giving birth to what you would love, cherish and is an extension of your love for self. This is excellent season for you Libra as its your house of joy which is woken up but its facing a hesitance - a bit like resistance to ones own happiness as it requires you to go out of your element to get there. It requires you to not hide the powerful side of you when you deal with others and let them know what you know.

Don’t reduce yourself to make mediocre feel comfortable. They aren’t elevated, we become mediocre in the process.

#Scorpio : Home, family, ancestors, place of living, comfort

People don’t understand why a Scorpio needs to be sure before going into something or going “steady” and why they have to “sense” out things. Sage the hell out of their aura cause they are about to occupy mine for a lifetime says my Scorpio rising.

People don’t get that as much as we are eager to act and ready to face any consequence, we have a fixity in our relationships and partnerships. Partners and relationships never leave Scorpios even when they leave. But the “please no drama” zone of partnerships to be honest has become a bit of battlefield lately. What are we fighting for though. More freedom, more authenticity possibly. But may be more passion, more expression, more dynamism. Its such a contradiction isn’t it - the area we seek the most stability in - we also seek the most excitement and freedom in as well. That kind of freedom can only be based in trust, can only be based if we feel stable in our footing. Feel sure of the ground we stand on and then we can build all the existing relationships, connect with unique partners and clients / networks with. Aquarius season and this year of Saturn Jupiter in our house of home, family, place of living is aiming to do just that. Beef up the home metaphorically and physically. So this season we do something new in that direction so we can take more risks in our business and personal partnerships. We embellish our home, shift houses, countries, find a home within home and find the resources that beef us up from within or find that tribe we can call family that help us get there. Nothing above the surface can fly higher without that home as much as we would want to run away from it. So it might be time to put roots, find that place or do something make your family comfortable in some ways so you have a sure footing within - by purchasing real estate or changing your lease or shifting something in the house or deciding which country you would live in. Normally modern family structures and home structures suit us, possibly away from place of birth or away from parents in some ways - Scorpios cherish the closeness that comes from letting them have their “space” - may be time to find a bit of space so you can think, create and draw strength from. Beef those roots up.

#Sagittarius : Communication, immediate environment, commercial skills

Like a fish out of water, Sagittarius might have put themselves in a zone totally out of their comfort zone cause what they themselves don’t understand right now is that traditional isn’t cutting it for them as much as they are trying. Old isn’t vast enough to let them be who they need to be. The kind and level of commercial success and to some extend the kind of impact they are looking for doesn’t come from traditional careers. They are looking to create something unique and its coming in tough by sticking to old work environment or even that environment might have stopped suiting who they are becoming. Its a process that started over two years back when Uranus first started in their house of work and health - creating a bit of environment of restless brilliance which is just waiting to pop but not yet finding possibly its outlet. Not yet finding that outlet cause may be using the old skill sets and using the old teachings / learnings or old modes and methods of selling / communicating. When you cannot stand the confinement of your surrounding, usually your immediate environment needs a shift - as does the people you see on a daily basis, the road to work you take, the car or vehicle you use and the platforms / devices you use for communicating your perspective along with the words that you are communicating. This new start this season is an up skill to a new commercial reality by changing what you talk, what you sell, what your talents are. I love that unique brilliant futurist sign of Aquarius sits in mind of Sagittarius - it makes them say what they think but also say what they see far ahead of time. They blurt out outstanding thoughts... well without a thought. Possibly a new course can be pretty helpful just to open your mind to new way to commercialize those brilliant thoughts. Perhaps a new neighbourhood or new surroundings can open the mind to more suitable environment that help you commercialize. Perhaps a new platform or new communication devices help support your work in the way you would like. Perhaps a new route to work could help support the new health routine you are looking for. Anything that opens your mind to new economy would be a helpful hand in your journey to get more freedom in your work and provide a platform for you to express your ahead of time ideas. But speak, sell, communicate, connect, commercialize - its time to.

#Capricorn : Money, assets, networth and self worth

I have said it before and I am going to shout from the rooftops till everyone knows, I love love the Uranus transit Capricorn are getting on. Its so freeing - its going to free their sense of joy, their ability to connect with the fun playful innocent child within which has been forced to grow up way too fast with the last few years of transit. Uranus in your house of joy and passions is screaming to release all thats fun, confident, talented, creative, passionate about you. You feel driven to take the risks you have not taken in love, in money, in business - it creates this radical confidence in your ability to bring things to life, in your ability to give birth to the unique thoughts within. And it all, as with everything else with Capricorn, has got to be something real - something touch it feel it. The manifestation of it all to start with could be seen in your financials , in your assets, in things you are going to buy or invest in. Aquarius season starts a new cycle in your networth and self worth. New source of income, new asset, new investment, new purchase that would add to your networth and a new sense of self that helps you go after getting true value of your talents. You might even go after aquiring some talents that help you create more value e.g. in stock markets. You are on a new journey where you want to be free of guilt in being happy, in being fruitful, uninhibited smile - whatever brings that on, bring that on!

#Aquarius : You

Everyone’s talking about you or of you, you don’t necessarily like that... you didn’t ask for it but may be you did - its all been going stale for a while so you did ask for it all to become interesting and it all started being a bit more interesting two years back and now its just all changing way too fast. More importantly think I am changing too fast and rest is changing with me cause my comfort zone is shifting - cause well I wanted to do something different. So here it is that time to start new life, new you in your season - Happy Aquarius Season to you and happy birthday to Aquarius Sun. It just is how your season would be for next few years but this is a landmark one as lot of energy concentrated in your sign is being challenged by your own inertia to change things cause you feel the comfort zone will be lost in some ways - not registering there is no comfort zone anymore. When a kite has taken a flight there is no ground to rest on so its better to learn to fly breathlessly a bit cause stopping isn’t an option at this stage. Unprecedented growth is the reward awaiting of you taking over the reigns of your life in your hand. You have taken a journey where you are fully owning everything in your life, now so don’t look back - start another new chapter in that new direction you have decided to go on. There could be physical volatility in home, family or place of living - its like some constant ground you stood on is shaking - cause its limiting your ability to go where you need to. Its like you need to almost forget where you came from to become who you need to be - leaving the nest is one thing, forgetting the patterns that physically kept you there is another. This is like you are literally being reprogrammed as a person - physically in your body, in your fitness, in what kind of a leader you are and how you show up to the external world. And as part of that reprogramming, your old patterns would have to be irrevocably erased. Whatever it takes!

#Pisces : Peace, healing, health, recognizing your hidden talents & place in universe

Most brilliant creators go to isolation away from everyone to create their masterpiece even though the masterpiece is for the enjoyment of the very people they are going away from. Its like somehow they need to connect with themselves before they can give to others their best work. Its like for it all to be kosher pure chaste and brilliant it needs to be all free of any influence. Do you feel the need to shut all that noise sometimes so you can hear what the universe is trying to talk just to yourself - so you can find why you came here - what is your role and what are you here to serve. Uranus in your house of mind, create such sensitivity and brilliance in your mind that you feel sometimes an idea a minute coming - yet not having an outlet for it all sometimes just leaves a restless feeling that makes it impossible to settle down or sleep sometime. What if you needed a beat to put it all down, what if you needed to create your island so you can in that silence synthesize all that the rest of the connections have inspired you to think of. I am in no way suggesting its time to go on a mountain but I am saying there are two parts of you - conflicting parts of you fighting it out right now. One is teaming with day to day bustle, so much talk, so much information, so much connection, so many ideas, so many people in surrounding acting erratically. Yet not being able to leave that cause I know I can create here something unique, I am learning so much commercially, I am meeting so many unique people, I am actively engaged in my mind and body. Yet this can make you exhausted and scattered. Aquarius season and this year helps you find that corner behind the stage where all the real work happens. You work on a network project behind the scene there, you find peace in your thoughts there, you possibly connect with your hidden skills there, you meditate, put yourself in unique healing positions and potions to bottle all that brilliance into something of value, something of impact, something that can benefit many people. Gift that place behind the stage this season by starting a practice, finding your spirituality again, work on a behind the scene project thats your vision, deal with your fears and inner world. Its going to completely change how you deal with that active, bustling yet brilliant external life of yours. All innovators do this and you are one. All innovators also decide to give away & serve before they get & gain.

[irishmacguirefucker]

Truths

Or alternatively, Karen jones weasels the ranch plan out of Sean and then has a brief crisis about it

(3150 words! holy shit its long but i hope its a good read bc i worked hard on it and im pretty proud of it. You should probably read Seans hcs first buts its not necessary)

Karen Jones is not a particularly optimistic person. She wouldn't say pessimistic persay, maybe more of a realist.

There were a lot of things she felt were ultimate truths. Women would never be treated equally to men or allowed to vote, she would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery, and she would die as she lived. Nothing but another forgotten criminal. Another gang member shot down and swept underneath the rug that was the new century.

She was sure that was what happened to Sean. Dutch says he was captured but in Karens book he may as well have died on that boat job.

But one day, somehow, those truths she clung to seemed to be wavering.

When Tilly and Mary-Beth spoke of the women in Rhodes and San Denis, or even places further like New York, fighting for their right to vote and be equal she tried to brush it off.

But it stuck out in her brain. Was the world changing? Could things be different? Sadie Adler was running around in pants like it already had for her. Maybe she was a pessimist, not a realist.

Things were changing, she could feel it. And not just in the world of politics and women's rights. (not that she thought herself much of a scholar in that area)

There were whispers around camp, Hosea left for a long time and when he came back he had a look in his eye that she just couldn't decipher. But then suddenly that look seemed to be catching on all around her. First in Arthur, though whatever was happening seemed to have put Dutch in a very grim mood.

Next it was John and Abigail Marston. Suddenly they were fighting less, and speaking in low whispers like schemers plotting some plan that Karen was still desperately trying to figure out.

The final straw was Ms. Grimshaw. She had that look in her eyes just like the rest and suddenly she was ordering the girls to start looking for legal money, legitimate jobs for the gang to get done. Suddenly, she wasn't the only suspicious one anymore.

Things stayed that way for a while, looking for legal money with sob stories and not so innocent flirting to find jobs. And it was weird, and suspicious but no matter how much she grilled Grimshaw for it, that woman was locked tighter than the bank safes they used to rob. (Used to. How incredibly odd to think that they aren't anymore)

And then suddenly, Sean Macguire was back. He was alive and safe and only a little worse for wear. Karen Jones' solid truths were all being broken and the return of the man she -was pretty sure she- loved was the last crack she could handle.

She wanted so many things at once in that moment. She wanted rum, she wanted to run to his arms and never let go, she wanted to mount old belle and escape, she wanted to curl up in one of the wagons and cry

But she did none of those things. Instead she took his greeting to her as she always had, sarcastic yet flirty, the way they had always been. Because that little game of thiers, the dancing around each other but knowing deep down (at least she thinks he knows) that she is his and he is hers.

If she changed that game, broke another solid truth that she was desperately trying to hold onto, she would be broken open and the world would suddenly become unpredictable and scary.

So she drank her beer, sat in his lap, kissed Sean, slapped him, kissed him once more and then took him to bed. And while that whole mess wasn’t the greatest experience on her end, she practically had to run from that tent because Sean had about a thousand new scars and bruises and she wasn't about the cry over it in his face. Naked. After bad sex.

After the night of Seans reunion with the gang, he seemed to hang around her a little more. Not much more than before, but now it was rare if he wasn't hanging off her skirts around camp. And she couldn't complain because she did miss him terribly, no matter what she said to his face.

In some ways she found it hard to face Hosea anymore. Right before he left on his apparently life changing trip, she had gotten particularly wasted and cried on the old man's shoulder, clinging to one of Sean’s vests.

She actually admitted, out loud that she thinks she might love Sean, but she was so sure he was dead she didn't know what to do with that thought anymore. That ‘almost’ that was floating in her head as she grieved.

When Sean came back, suddenly the memory of her drunken confession did too, and Hosea always seemed to have this weird soft smile when her and Sean spent time together. So she kinda had to avoid Hosea for a while

At some point she saw Hosea and Sean having what looked to be a deep conversation and she prayed to the god she was entirely unsure even existed that Hosea wouldn't share her secret.

Of course he didn't, and she felt a little guilty that she even thought that about the man who was in so many ways a father figure to her. But he told Sean something because suddenly, even Sean had that look in his eye.

The plotting, scheming, planning look that was catching around the camp like a disease and suddenly, she would pay any amount of money to know just what they were plotting. She knows that it's big, bigger than anything they have even done.

Sean was never able to keep a secret from her for very long. She knew that if she got on his case about it he would likely spill, so thats exactly what she did. But then suddenly Sean was no longer hanging off her skirts, and seemed to be avoiding her as much as he could.

His absence from her side was obvious. There was nobody pestering her (other than grimshaw), nobody sitting with her while she drank her morning coffee, nobody sneaking up behind her to spin her around just to see her get all flushed and mad, nobody to give her a cheeky kiss as he promised not to do it again with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Karen Jones is far from stupid, she knows that she must have been getting close to something if Sean was leaving her alone on his own free will.

So finally she caught him on guard duty. It was near the end of his shift and she made her way into the trees that hid their camp from the world.

She knew what she wanted to say, but once they locked eyes he immediately looked so nervous that she almost laughed at the shifting feet and darting eyes of the man in front of her.

She nearly forgot she had brought him a mug of coffee, and handed it to him wordlessly. He thanked her quietly and then everything was silent. Far too silent to be normal for Sean “I never stop talking even when I’m in mortal danger” Macguire.

“You’re awfully quiet Sean, ain't like you.”

A pause. More darting eyes. “Ah yes well I'm on duty, can't let those bastards out the woods hear me talking up a storm.”

Another pause. A chuckle under Karen's breath.

“Ain’t never stopped you before.”

Briefly he smiled, and looked into the blonde’s eyes. “That it hasn’t Karen my love, but I'm not looking to get another cuff up the back of me head from Hosea for forgetting to keep me fuckin’ mouth shut.”

For a moment he looked like he might start acting normally again before he remembered just why he was avoiding her. Suddenly he was staring at his boots once more. Some guard he is.

“Right. You and Hosea been talking a lot lately. In fact, a lot of people seem to be talkin’ with Hosea ‘cept me it seems.” That was her own fault for avoiding him, but she wouldn't say that.

Sean looked uncomfortable with this conversation, looking past Karen to see if anyone was on their way to take his shift. She hoped that meant she was close to cracking him.

“Ah yes well, you know how it is with the old man. Always wanting to have long discussions about the glory days, or give ya advice ya didn't ask for.”

“I suppose. But you know what I think Sean?”

Sean has never looked this nervous before she thinks.

“What's that love?” Bold of him to ask anyways, she will give him that.

“I think yall are plotting something, and you're keeping secrets Mr. Macguire.”

She watched as the irish man stiffened, took a look around, threw back his coffee and sighed. They both knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything from her for long, perhaps he was finally accepting that.

“I just might be Ms. Jones, but I hardly think it's much of your business to be pryin’ it out of me is it?”

Sean hardly sounded like himself to her ears. Sure, he could be nasty out on a job but never to her. She considered this man to be her best friend, the man she was almost sure she was in love with, and he was slapping her away like she was nothing but a fly bothering him. She can count on one hand the amount of secrets she had ever kept from him.

He always had a way of pulling them out of her, because he always wanted her to be happy around him. He wanted to know her problems not to fix them, but to distract her from them.

She had always thought it was a sort of mutual agreement. They were close. Not just friends but not quite together. Close enough that they had a bond neither could deny. So the idea that hes been avoiding her for some reason and would get so nastily defensive when she asked? It hurt.

But she wouldn't let him know that. That's not how the game works. But suddenly all these changes around her gave her the courage to say screw the game.

“Screw you Sean Macguire. How fucking dare you.”

“Karen-”

“No, you wanna keep your mouth shut about this then you can keep your big mouth shut while i yell at you. How dare you talk to me like that. How dare you keep secrets when never in my life have i ever been able to keep a secret from you. No wait, I kept one secret from you didn’t I? I never told you that I thought you were god damn dead.”

That and the fact that she was in love with him. When did she suddenly become sure of that fact? Not that it matters. She was already saying more than she meant to.

“I thought you were dead in the ground and it damn near broke me. You are my best friend, and you have the god damn fucking balls to tell me its none of my buisness why you wont even look my way for 3 weeks. Go to hell Macguire, you don't wanna speak to me then fine. Don’t. I don't want you around no more either you bastard.”

It took one look at the young man's face to make her eyes start watering, and then she was marching back to camp. Like hell she would let him see her cry after that mess.

She almost wanted him to run after her. To apologise and tell her why he can barely look at her, and hold her as she cried. But he was on guard duty so that wasn’t an option, and that wasn't how their relationship worked.

She didn't see him again for a while. She took the work Grimshaw gave her down to the lake, and watched Jack wade in the water trying to catch a crab or a fish while she sewed up a shirt. When she got up to get more clothes she saw Sean conspiring with Hosea once more and refused to even give him another glance. She watched Pearson fish off the dock for a while, whilst she stitched a blanket, she watched the sun get lower in the sky till it lit up like the campfire.

And then out of the corner of her eye she saw a lanky leg step over the log she was on, and then he was sitting beside her.

She didn't look up. He didn't speak. He nudged a bottle of beer her way, and she took it without a word.

The sun had just barely sunk below the horizon when he cleared his throat and took a breath to speak up. She cut him off before he could start.

“Don’t start Sean, I don't want your damn apologies.”

“Well then it's a bloody good thing I wasn't about to apologise love.”

She wished he wouldn’t call her that. It's not like she exactly had time to process the whole being in love revelation she had earlier.

“What the hell do you want then.”

“I want to tell you a secret.”

She scoffed and started to stand up, but he grabbed her waist before she could, and she looked him in the face for the first time since that morning when they fought. “Let me go Sean Macguire, I don't wanna hear it.”

“Oh hush, yes ya do. I couldn't bloody well tell you this mornin’, it weren't my secret to tell you. But I had a little talk with Hosea, and he gave me then blessin’ to share with you.”

He couldn't tell her  because it wasn't his to share. So here she was getting angry at him for something that wasn't even his fault. Not that there was no reason at all.

“Dammit Sean, the hell does that have to do with you avoidin’ me like the god damned plague. You could have said you can't tell me and I woulda’ left you the hell alone about it.”

“Now that is a dirty lie Ms. Jones, I have not successfully kept anythin’ from you in my whole life. You knew what I was going to give you for your birthday the day I stole the damned thing. I wasn't able to risk something this important falling out of my big mouth because you distracted me with your beauty.”

He was trying to abate her anger, and the fact that it was nearly working only served to anger her more. How dare he sit there and nearly make her laugh when he was apparently keeping some giant secret from her.

“Fine Sean. What's the big secret that's been makin’ you run away from me like a dog afraid of his own shadow.”

“Well my love, you had better get comfortable, this is quite the tale and I happen to be quite the storyteller.” And before she could tell him to get the hell on with it, he started doing what he does best. Talking.

It took him nearly a fucking hour to get to the point. He told her everything he knew about the ranch plan, every word Hosea had said to him about it, all the way up to him begging Hosea to let him tell Karen about it. By the time he finished, both their beers were gone and everything Karen had known her whole life was slipping through her fingers like the sand beneath their feet.

“-an’ Hosea says that nobody has to go with him, we can all go our separate ways and such but that's what his plan is. Him and the bloody Marstons and Arthur and everyone else they can get are going with him. And Dutch was planning on telling everyone as soon as we had the money to do it and I only know because I’m fuckin’ excellent at eavesdropping. But Arthur caught me sneaking off and told me to keep me trap shut about it so I did.”

She stared at him in stunned silence. Half the gang was plotting a move to New Austin to start a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Finally she managed to get her thoughts together just long enough to spit out the words “The one fucking time you can follow a god damned direction.”

And that was enough to make him laugh. And he sat there and laughed like they weren't getting their worlds turned upside down.

All the things Karen considered to be complete unbreakable truths were shattering. She was looking at this offer of a real life that wouldn't end in her premature death and it terrified her, but at the same time nothing had ever looked so good.

“I'm still mad that you avoided me like that.”

“Don’t think you've ever screamed at me quite like you did this morning Ms. Jones.”

“I did not scream at you, you were on guard duty.”

“You bloody did. The bird flocked out of the trees. Some broad on the street heard you and said ‘I wonder what stupid bloke pissed of that woman’”

“Are you going? To the ranch with Hosea?” She didn’t notice that over time she had practically ended up in his lap until just now.

“Well Ms. Jones, that all depends on where you're planning on going.”

Sean Macguire had confessed his love to her many times, drunk and sober. But she never thought any of them sincere until now. Here was Sean Macguire, willing to follow her wherever she may go. And it terrified her just as much as the idea of the ranch did. But just like the ranch, nothing had ever looked quite so safe, so sweet, so good.

She knew she wasn't ready to tell Sean she loved him yet. It was nice to know he loved her, and that she was hardly going to get rejected should she tell him. But she wasn't ready yet.

So instead she said “I think that I'm gonna go with Hosea and Arthur and them. To be ranchers or whatever the hell they wanna do.”

“Then I guess we’re gonna be ranchers! Though I was never good with bloody livestock.” and that made Karen laugh good and proper.

Karen Jones feels that a few things will always be ultimate truths. She would always despise the hot weather, she would never be good at embroidery no matter how hard she tried, that Sean Macguire loved her to the ends of the earth and back, and that she loved him too.

Being ranchers meant she would likely never have to lose him again, and so ranchers they would be.

[lucidpantone]

Ok I totally get your point and your anger toward Wtfock "big" bosses and I also agree with you but one thing you might not be agree with me and I totally understand is that at some point we need to move on from s4, they didn't give a fuck to give us pocs the importance we need, but is not just their own fault, IF we really want a change then why we pocs still accepting working with this people? Why we pocs keep consuming their trash?; If we all keep on just complaining but we don't do something then there's no point, if we all are realistic with ourselves specially us pocs we should stop watching since Kato was announced as main, Noa probably read the script so he could have said no, Nora could also said something about it maybe ask for an apology from them to us before keep on going with next season, I totally understand is not that easy because they have a contract, they are working and those jobs gives them food, they are young and wathever else you want to add but on a matter like this one just extreme reactions like this one could make the change happen. Now a lot of people says they gonna watch for Nora to support her and I'm one of those but the truth is we shouldn't keep on consuming this content after the disrespect they portrait and they still probably gonna keep on portraying even with Nora there and the white allies I love them but once the season starts we all gonna be here watching and discussing the type of content still makes privilege grow and put our lives on risk and if you see things on their side they don't have any debt with an audience already forgive them or forget when the cute couples post and if they already talked it with the cast.

Since you have disclosed that you are a person of color am going to address you specifically and very differently. I don't know how old you are.... I hope you’re young so you have alot of runway to grow and really start analyzing and evaluating the world around you and the game thats at play that you never even signed up for but we’re born into. When you utter this phrase “I totally understand is that at some point we need to move on from s4″ it actually breaks my heart a little because you are so unaware of how society has conditioned you into identifying problematic behavior that hurts you but has groomed you into just shrugging your shoulders and saying well “its not gonna change anything. 

So I guess I’ll just take the abuse and keep it moving” and the grooming of problematic contentment begins at an early age and is slowly spoon fed into your cognitive behavior. So eventually you get to a place where you utter the exact phrase you just did “well I know I have been abused but [I] should move on and [I] (the victim) should let it go”. Ask yourself why are you so content to allow feelings of hurt to be pushed around? Why do you shrug your shoulders? Why do you present the idea (that you yourself know is controversial) like allowing your voice to whimper off when you are in the right? Also lets get a few things strait. Noa and also Romi because lets get all the facts out there did not read this script and okay it. The original season just presented an influencer (Kato) falling for her rival (Moyo). Thats it. They were no racial undertones to that relationship in the script. However the big bosses of wtfock thought they would try shelve out some performative wokeness and made their first time inexperienced white female writer try to write about really complex racial topics she had no experience with literally write them on the fly. They were modifying the script as the season filmed so no Noa never agreed to this script. Also another point, “Nora could also said something about it” she did say something tho. At the beginning of the season and then at the end. Also Noa specifically has commented like 4 times at minimum at how unhappy s4 made him and also when he won that award he didnt thank production or his crew Noa went out of the way to thank the fans. No other person on that s4 team would have thanked the fans but Noa because we spent all season dragging the crew for their shit and Noa thanked the fans in his speech. He did what Rutgers refuses to do which is acknowledge the fans. He said “the fans are most important”, let that sink in why he chose those words. Also you say “lets move on”, lets find a way to break bread but you know what not moving on did for Nora’s season? Don't you wonder why the last addition to the balloon squad is a black guy? Why the balloon squad is bigger than any other balloon squad that has ever been created? Why Yasmina’s noora character is also woc and muslim too. Why Noa was the person sent out to pick up that award even tho he wasnt the main of s4? Why moyo isn’t in the fight scene anymore? Why these white dudes have privately apologized to Noa for their bullshit and now you see Rutgers publicly saying on the gram that “Noa deserves the world”. All those actions are a results of the fandom not moving on and hounding these people to change and wearing them down and of course their changes are always surface but they are noticeable. So lets close this theology session out. There is a saying americans voice often which is “don't hate the player, hate the game”. Meaning just because the odds are stacked against you doesnt mean you shouldn’t support the players within the system trying to break through. There has only ever been two women in the entire history of cinema to win an academy award for best director and one foreign production team to win best picture. If people took the notion of well the academy awards are racist (which they are) why even try? None of these people would have even broke the ceiling. Support the players because at the end of the day they are just trying to identify a weakness in the system. Never stop fighting for them because if they win, we all win. I once heard a quote that has stayed with me for a long time. When all the heroes in a story don't look like you, you can never picture yourself as the hero. So dare to dream anon, and be the hero.

[winchesterimagine]

Family Curse

Hiii I was wondering if you can imagine where the reader is their sister and she has demon blood in her too like sammy. And they go on a hunt and she can't control herself and drinks and doesn't know what to do apart from putting her in the panic room and Sam stays with her ,because Dean can't really look at the sight. Thank you :) x

Authors note: Sorry I'm really rusty everyone but I hope y'all enjoy.

Family Curse

Why is it that us winchesters find ourselves in the worst possible situations? I mean by now you would think we would know how to avoid these types of situations.Another hunt in a house in the middle of nowhere how typical of us. Your train of thought was cut off by a yell.

“Y/N, A little back up wouldn't hurt ” you heard your brothers outcry from the next room over. You came to your senses running into the room you heard their yells. Fully loaded you kicked the door in scanning the room only to see Sam pinned to a wall and Dean fighting against a blade to his neck with a demon. This scene was all too familiar to you. Before you could do anything the demon looked straight at you and laughed.

“This is what you call back up, I would think you two knew better.”

You watched as he threw your 6 ft brother like a rag doll against a wall knocking him out. You got your smart mouth from your oldest brother Dean.

“ I would think Demons knew not to even breathe near a winchester”

“She's spunky you see I like that about you winchesters. You can see death right in front of you but you won't hesitate with your sarcasm.”

“What can i say it runs in the family.”

“ What a sad family it is. I mean look at all of you, weak yet stubborn.”

He turned to face Dean wrapping his arm closer around his neck.

“ I’m not done with you”  he proclaimed as he  knocked him out in one blow.

“I should go in order though, right from the youngest to oldest. They should watch as their younger sister dies to my hand. How satisfying would that be. Them waking up to their sister's limp body knowing there was nothing they could have done. Tell me something Y/N how would you like to die.”

You were quick to respond. “Old Age or going out with a fight.”

The demon was unaware this was all planned as he stepped closer to you finally getting trapped in the devils trap your brothers and you had put days before. Took her a few steps more before she realized.

“Game over.” You said with a smile before a migraine bigger than anything you had ever had brought you to your knees. You heard the blood pulsing through the demon's body he had possessed. That is all your mind went to the power how thirsty you were for power not like anything you had experienced it wouldn't stop pulsing. It wasn't a want, it was a need no matter how hard you fought it you couldn't. You grabbed the demon  knife you had on your side and charged. You could see the fear the demon had in front of you but you couldn't stop something else was taking control and before you knew it. It was too late. You were sucking every last drop you could of demon blood getting it all over you. It felt like the greatest thing you had ever experienced a sense of power you never had. It was filling you with something you had never felt in your life. It took moments before you heard your brother call your name out.

“Y/N” in a hush tone Dean said. You could hear him struggling to get up. You had never had such a feeling of disgust until that very moment of yourself. You were hunched over the limp body barely remembering what happened still sucking on the lifeless body.This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

“Y/N,you ok?” you heard him call again terrified of turning around and you stayed frozen. Tears forming in your eyes slowly running down your cheeks till he came in front of you. Your heart had never in your life felt as heavy as it did in that instant. You instantly got up to hug him but he had never been more ready to push you away after seeing you. It was an expression you never wanted from your brother. No hesitation he raised the barrel of the gun towards you. The only time your brother had ever pointed a gun at you was when you were possessed. This was different.

“What did he do to you?”

“I don't know Dean. I couldn't control it. I just shut off.”

“No not you.”

You heard Sam grunting as he was getting up.

“What's going on? Is Y/N possesed.” sam questioned

“I don't know Sam, she was feeding on that demon's body like a monster. I don't know ” you could hear as his voice was breaking “but she wasnt trapped; she walked right out.”

“Dean put the gun down thats Y/n for gods sake” Sam yelled

“How do you know? my sister is not a monster she is not one of those freaks she can't be. She was feeding on……..” he proclaimed as he lowered his gun”......Demon blood”

Realization hit all of you like a brick wall and you felt weak to  your knees again. Sam was the first to your side as you watched your older brother turn and walk away in disappointment and disgust.

You Yelled for Dean to come back but he just stopped mid way and responded.

“My little sister died today.”

Sam didn't hesitate to come to your side.

“Y/n it's going to be ok you're ok “

You couldn't control your tears. You started wiping all the blood off of you disgusted as to what just happened.Sam trying to hold you together before you started hurting yourself.

“Let’s go Y/N ”

“No,No i can't.”

“Yes you can Y/N look at me.”

You started to calm down a bit and got yourself together while you walked out. Dean leaning against the baby barely even being able to look at you.

“Dean.”

“Let's just get out of this hell house.”

The drive was silent and your head was throbbing. I think it was the silence that was driving you even more insane. When you reached Bobby's you ran inside slamming your room's door. It was like a switch your sadness had turned into anger. You weren't even aware of what you had done till you heard a slam after the door shut. The wardrobe in the room had fallen right in front of the door locking everyone out but you inside. You heard your brothers yelling your name on the other side. What was going on. You just sat there.

Returning your brothers yells.

“I'm ok. The dresser fell in front of the door.”

With your brother's push and your pull you moved the dresser out of the way.

You were a mess you needed to shower.

“It just fell over. I don't know how it did but it did.

Both of your brothers knew that it wasn't just the dresser that decided to fall over that it was you and what was inside of you.

“Let me just shower and we’ll talk about it.”

They both nodded in agreement. You took the longest shower you had ever taken with hot water that was almost to the point of burning. You changed and met your brothers down stairs. Strange part is you couldnt find them, you looked almost everywhere. Something was off though your surroundings started changing and when you opened the door it turned into a child's room with a crib and a stranger standing near it. You felt the need to protect the child but your head started throbbing again in pain and all you heard was the stranger getting closer to you. He whispered close enough and barely loud enough to understand.

“Don't worry child, you're one of my favorites.”

You woke up on the bathroom floor freshly showered and dressed.

“What the hell is going on.”

You heard a knock on the bathroom door

“y/n can we talk i need to show you something”

“Yeah just give me a moment. You brought yourself together to be met by your brother Dean outside your door.

“Follow me”

“Dean, can we talk about what happened earlier?”

“Yeah just let me show you this first. “

“Why are we going to the panic room”

“Bobby told me he left you something that might help us with whatever's going on.”

“Ok you slowly walked in only to hear the door close behind you.”

“Dean don't lock me in here like an animal or a monster. I'm your little sister.”

“You're not yourself Y/N and i just can't.”

“Dean,Dean,DEAN.”

You could hear him  making his way up the Stairs.

The single metal bed, the provocative model poster and the desk. Rust everywhere from the holy water and salt. All too familiar.

First day passed then the 3rd it had been 2 weeks and you were to the point of no return. You started to feel so close to death. No sleep since this had started constant nightmares and headaches that would never stop.

“y/n its sam again”

You turned to the door

“Sam”

“Leave me alone let me just die here like how Dean would want it.”

“He doesn't want you to die but he feels like you have already.

“Oh that makes me feel so much better bigfoot”

“Shut up pip squeak listen because i have experience unlike you.”

He walked in sitting right next to you.

“You know I never wanted this. I feel like there's something inside me pulsing through me wanting more power but not in a good way. It's something I know it's wrong but I can't control it. It's not a want anymore, it's a need. I feel like I'm dying.”

“I know it does but ill make sure you dont ok you don't have to worry”

“Sam i'm not scared of dying”

“Dean and I are,You're our little sister Y/n but we both don't know what to do.  I remember being in this exact room and feeling like it was the worst part of my life. That my brother would rather watch me die then help but that's not the truth. He was just as scared as I was. Our own father told him to kill me if he had to.”

“I know Sam and maybe yall should at this rate I feel like I'm already dead.

You could see your words hurt Sam.

“No one deserves to die with what they can't control. Especially not my little sister. You know I've been through hell and back so has Dean. I've had the Devil himself use me like a doll and yet just because my sister thinks she's not worth living because some god forsaken demon a.**whos ruined our lives wants us to be his puppet.”

You let out a sigh of frustration “You don't get it Sam.”

“What don't I get? Get it together Y/N. This is what he wants. You're throwing the white towel. I know you're ashamed you're disgusted. You feel like the biggest disappointment to this family but you're not. You know i can't make you feel better but i'd rather die than let you go through this alone.”

“You know I wish you wouldn't but I know no matter what I say you'll never leave.”

Sam let a small smile appear on his face before he said anything.

“You got that right. No matter what Dean feels or says doesn't matter because we're family nothing changes that.”

“You know that's hard to believe when you start feeling like the one thing that could change that has  happened.”

“I know but when has our life ever made sense y/n.  I'll help you get through this and not make the same mistakes I did. come here.”

Sam pulled you into a hug and for once you thought maybe things will be ok.

When you looked at your brother this time though his eyes were glowing yellow.

“Get away from me.”

“Y/n it's me Sam.”

You filled with panic and let whatever darkness you had inside of you out.

“No your not my brother”

Before you knew it Sam was being thrown against the wall. You ran to the door and it went swinging open. There stood Dean in the doorway with black eyes and before you could think you tackled and took him down. You kept fighting him while he kept yelling at you. Your fist not going anywhere with how weak you really felt.

“ you'll never be a part of us. You're a disgrace to even be called my sister. Dad was right, you're weak, you'll never be enough. I wouldn't even hesitate your a monster and you know it ”

“Stop It Dean please”

You felt Sam pull you off of Dean and push you against the wall. His eyes still glowing yellow while he yelled at you. His eyes glowing seeing right through you looking at you like you were nothing to him.

“You know maybe you should just give in and let it kill you. You're not worth the effort to save. You're weak.”

You kept fighting and shot up sweating. Sam was holding you close, restraining you. You felt the worst you've ever felt and you've been stabbed and shot numerous times but this took the cake.

“ It's ok Y/n it's not real you're going to be ok.”

You felt a tear hit your face from sam. You couldn't control your emotions, you were crying and your body uncontrollably  shaking. Your body felt so cold but your head felt like it was on fire.

“Sam, I can't take it. It hurts too much. Please make it stop.”

His grip got tighter and you could feel yourself slipping into sleep again.

“Y/n I swear I'll make him pay. You're going to be ok. Me and Dean are going to take care of it. We always do ok. You're our little sister we can't let anything happen to you it's our job. I'm so sorry Y/n. Please be ok.”

You heard his voice breaking like you never had before.

“It's ok Sammy, I'm tired.”

Your eyes started getting heavy and before you knew it you were out.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH38

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 3,422

- Author Note: I had long weekend with my ongoing workshops going on whole day :< so thats why for the late update! sorry xx appreciate someone still read this!

Previous | Next

Chapter 38

“Okay, use the emergency exit and I will ask our manager to get you. Make sure to come straight to KBS Seul, I will be waiting for you” Yoongi rubbed his sore neck and glanced around the room to find the sign of his personal manager.

He hung up his phone and walked up to his manager with a distress face “Hyung, can we talk?” the muscular guy nodded as they both went to the corner of the room. “Yes, is everything alright? You seem a little edgy” he blinked confusedly.

“I need your help. Seul will be here so I need your help to assist her inside. Can you help me to get Seul?” Yoongi asked, hopeful yet afraid that his manager refused to fulfil his request.

He raised his brow in questioned “Seul? The caretaker lady? What is she doing here? Yoongi we are in public. Whatever things that you have with this young lady, don’t do it here. People might be suspicious to see her presence around you guys” the younger man stared at him hopefully.

“Please, she is in trouble. I can’t trust her alone, so I have to keep my eyes on her. I hope you can help me hyung. Please” taken aback by Yoongi unusual antic, his manager pressed his lips together in a deep thought. Being a manager, it was his responsibility to see the bigger picture of this issue and to ensure any of the members wouldn’t take any rash decision which could jeopardize their career.

“Fine, I will go get her. Don’t worry and focus on what you are about to do in a bit. Get ready for your stage, it is your turn soon”

Yoongi heaved a sigh of relief “Thank you hyung. Thank you” he gave the guy a soft squish on the shoulder and returned to his seat.

Jin overheard the conversation that they had and grew worried over Seul. The last time they talked was a week ago, he didn’t get to keep in touch with her ever since then. Not that he wanted to stick his nose into someone else’ affair, however he noticed Seul and Yoongi closeness these days made him think that they were officially dating each other.

Jungkook on the other hand had stopped talking about Seul which freaked him out. If he could crown Seul’s biggest fans, then it will be Jungkook. The maknae’s mood seemed a little dull than usual. Jimin had stuck to his side like glue ever since then.

Burying himself under his hoodie, Jin stared at his phone blankly dying to know the truth.

 --------------

Seul squished her eyes together, mentally blaming herself for calling Yoongi adding more burden to his already hectic day. Not that she wanted to burden him with her problem, but she had nowhere to go especially now, she had trusted Yoongi with all her heart. She would rather turn to him rather than destroying herself with her evil thoughts.

She dragged her heavy feet inside the building and made sure to keep her eyes open to catch familiar face there, like Bighit staff. Her cell phone rang. Still staring at the screen showing the live broadcast of Music Bank, she answered the call without uttering anything “Seul? Where are you?” asked the voice at the end of the line.

“Jin? I am..here at KBS” she was surprised to hear from Jin at this time when she thought they would be in stage getting ready for their performance.

“I heard..you are coming. Are you already here? Kibum hyung will be down in a minute to get you” Seul heard her name being called and quickly turned to face the owner of the voice. “Your manager is here. I will see you in a bit Jin. Good luck” she added, smiling between her words. Jin couldn’t hide that cheeky smile of his as he looked forward to seeing her after a week.

He jogged toward her, calling her name once again “Seul? Come with me, and I have to warn you beforehand that the backstage is going to be hectic and crazy. Walk close to me so you won’t get lost” he explained

She nodded her head, grateful to see BTS manager there, at least she didn’t need to walk through that unfamiliar glass door alone. The image in front of her took her breath away, she had never seen a backstage this hectic. Technically, she got a first-hand experience at BBMAS, but it was different considering the award show had a bigger space unlike this one. People had to squish themselves against the wall and the hallway could barely support two people walking side by side.

KBS really need a bigger space to cater this huge number of idols and staffs running around the hallway as if they were in a marathon. The silent man kept glancing at her to ensure the girl didn’t get stuck in between. Seul smiled as an assurance mouthing ‘I am fine’ that she was able to catch up on him.

Soft yelling from every corner could be heard as they were busy preparing their idols to stage. She bumped into a group of tall handsome men on her way and right before she wanted to apologize, they disappeared from her vicinity. Amazed with the surrounding, she pressed herself against the wall to keep her safe safe from bumping into other people.

It was dizzying to be in this crowded area, so she picked up her pace upon realizing the older man was nowhere to be seen. Grunting under her breath, Seul resumed her walk while keeping her eyes wide opened in case she walked pass Bangtan’s waiting room.

Like a little wandering lamb, Seul found herself in front of a room with a BTS signed on the door. She was relieved to be free from the suffocating scene a moment ago and knocked on the door softly. She opened the door, but to her surprise, she was greeted by unfamiliar faces inside the room.

She tilted her head in confusion and went back to read the name on the door though she was sure ‘BTS’ was written clearly on it. Confusion buzzed through her brain, deciphering every word written on the door. A hand was pulling the door opened on the other side causing her to stumble a little. Regaining her balance, she muttered a soft sorry in embarrassment.

The atmosphere inside the room thickening when all eyes were on her. Seul chewed her lips nervously “Who are you?” said a woman in a grey hoodie. She was holding a brush so Seul assumed she’s one of the stylists.

“I..am looking for Bangtan Sonyeondan. I guess this is not their room?” she gulped the lumps on her throat, easing the awkwardness in her.

“I thought Jae hyung changed BTS sunbaenim sign on the door to ours” another voice came into the picture and this time it was a man. His strong gravel voice reminded her of Taehyung. The man shoved his phone inside his pocket and rose from his seat. Holy crap, he is super tall! A very tall young man with smexy eyes. His eye makeup really gave away that sexy vampire vibe.

Taking the image in front of her, she stared at him in starstruck awe. His side profile was bloody amazing, with that sharp jawline and perfect proportion, he was one of a kind.  He tore his gaze from the mirror “I am sorry, but this is not BTS waiting room, there was a mistake. We are JBJ-“ his words were stuck in his throat.

His eyes shot opened, enormous with surprise. “Seul!” their eyes met, exchanging a meaningful look. It had been years since they last saw each other. Even though Hyunbin kept in touch with her mother, they never exchanged a single text even once for years. Occasionally, Hyunbin would keep himself update on Seul’s life through her mother and that was it. He wanted to make sure the girl was safe and sound, living her life normally.

“Hyunbin..What are you doing here?” a smile appeared on her face as she could hear low murmur from the staffs and his bandmates. Noticing Seul getting a little uncomfortable by the attention that she got, Hyunbin cleared his throat to say something “This is Seul. She is an old friend of mine” they nodded and decided to give them space for their reunion.  

“Nuna, can you give me a second? I need to talk to her” the brunette looked at him weirdly while exchanging quick glance with Kenta. The Japanese guy only chuckled in his seat, moving his shoulder in a small shrug.

He approached Seul as his arms were screaming to pull the small girl into his arm, yet he knew it better. There were many eyes in the room. Hence, he must behave himself. “Wow, I didn’t expect to run into you here” said Seul, exhaling a soft breath.

“Me too. How are you?”

“I am fine, thank you. You..look good. I heard from mother that you have become an idol now. And, yeah Hoon told me about the survival show thing” he gazed down at her still bemused of their unexpected meeting.  

“It is JBJ, I am with them now. It is a temporary group project. Oh, I am sorry for what happened to Hoon. I should have known that he was assaulted by those guys, so I could do something about it” Seul shook her head. “Don’t be sorry, you did nothing. It is in the past, Hoon is working hard now to find a suitable agency that can take him as trainee” her smile alone radiates the whole room, making his eyes shrunk into a crescent moon.

“Hoon told me, I am happy for him. By the way Seul-ah, why are you looking for BTS sunbaenim?” he inquired.

“I replace mother for the time being at least until she gets better. I am their caretaker” with a laugh she shied away and ran fingers in her hair.

He watched her with an amused smile “You work for them? That is great. I mean- to work with BTS sunbaenim, that is like a dream comes true” now Hyunbin sounded a legit fanboy to her making her giggle at his reaction.

“Are you a fan?” “Of course! BTS sunbaenim is like the best role model that I could wish for” without hesitation Hyunbin answered it in one breath. They both laughed heartily enjoying the topic of his fascination towards his lovely BTS sunbaenim.

“Seul? Seul.. Thank god you are here!” they shifted their attention to the tired looking man in his fancy stage outfit. “Jinnie, why are you here?” she exclaimed in bafflement.

“To find you, hyung said he lost you. Why are you wandering around alone? This place is huge, you could get lost” Jin nagged like a mother but turned mute as soon as he realized Hyunbin’s presence around them.

“Sunbaenim..hi” Hyunbin bowed politely with a shy smile.

The older guy returned the greetings and looked at Seul confusedly “Are you seeking for his help? Ya, Ji Seul. That is not right, he is a busy man” he frowned, and his forehead furrowed. “I am sorry Hyunbin-ssi, did she cause any trouble?” Seul gaped in disbelief.

“Yah!” Jin shot her a stern look when Seul showed her protest.

“No, sunbaenim no..Seul is an old friend of mine so we are having a little chit-chat. She is not causing any trouble”

“Oh really? How did you guys know each other?”

“It is a long story Jin. It may take hours to finish one. We have to go. Don’t you have a stage to slay? And a heart to win?”

“Whose heart?” Jin was clueless by her randomness.

“Armys’ heart you fool. Let’s go. Hyunbin-ah, lets meet soon so we can have a proper talk over a tea. See you around” she bowed, patting Jin’s back signalling him to start walking and lead the way. He watched as they left the scene hurriedly with Seul trailing behind the tall guy, most probably listening to her nag along the journey.

‘Are they dating?’ he scratched his head in trying to think of a reason for their odd behaviour.

 ----------------

“Are you saying Kwon could be your father?” Yoongi pressed his lips together processing the info that he had just received. For an odd reason, the air conditioner in his studio was not enough to cool off the rage boiled inside him.

“Fuck yes” Seul said bitterly.

Jin threw a cushion toward her direction “Language” and Seul grimaced in her seat.

“Ugh, alright Steve Rogers wannabe” she hugged RJ cushion pillow to her chest, squeezing it dear life earning a disgruntled look from the owner a.k.a the creator of RJ.

“Stop doing that, you are suffocating him”

She smirked sarcastically “I am turning him into my hostage”

Jin rolled his eyes in response and returned his attention back to Seul’s story. “Why didn’t any of you tell me about this? About him threatening you? Kwon is a dangerous man, stop working there” Yoongi nodded in agreement as he looked as furious as Jin.

“It is not that simple. He could sue me for breach of contract”

“We will pay for you” their unanimous voice surprised her. “The point here is, we are not letting him near you. He is a shameless old man. He should have gone to jail for what he did to you” Yoongi’s voice was deep, filled with hatred.

“Can you for once stop worrying about money? We could help you. And I know you may find this a little uncomfortable, let’s just say you can pay us when you have money. For now, think about your family safety”

Seul leaned back in her seat, fiddling with the hem of her pink sweatshirt “We are still not sure if he is my biological father. I..dont want to know at all” she blinked away her tears afraid if it hits the ground, it would send her to another dreary night.

Jin slipped his warm hands in hers, giving it a small squish “It is up to you. You don’t need to know if it hurts you. Because after all these years, you were doing fine without your biological father. Hoon and ahjumma love you, that is important. The family that you have now is your real family” he hummed softly.

“What should I do first?” she looked up with a glint of hope evident in her eyes.

The rapper sighed “It is about time Ji Seul. First, you need to return home and be with your mother. She is worried sick and wouldn’t stop bombarding me with messages” Jin cringed.

“Why she didn’t text me? She always put me above everyone else before you come into the picture!” the latter was salty over the fact that Mrs Hwang went to Yoongi instead of him.

Ignoring Jin meaningless argument, he continued “I will ask Sejin hyung about this. Well, Bighit owns a good team that can help you going through those process. We will think about that later. You have to head back and get a long rest”

“Get rid of those eyebags, it looks saggy”

“Don’t point it out!” she hissed at Jin spiteful remarks.

Yoongi rose and told her to head back home to get a good rest. “It is late. Get up and leave” Seul glared at him few seconds, adjusting her forms.

“See you again Jin. Good night” Jin crossed his arm disliking the way Yoongi dominates everyone here when he is the hyung.

Opening the door, he walked after her leaving sulky Jin inside the studio. He grabbed her arms stopping her from walking “You look like a walking dead. Can you return by yourself or do you need me to walk you home?” he whispered, tucking the strand of hair behind her ears.

“It is fine. I can take taxi or bus. You had a long day, thank you for sparing your busy time. I appreciate it” she stroked his wrist, exhaling a tired sigh.

“Then, text me as soon as you reach home. Be careful” he planted a soft kiss at the top of her head, pulling the girl into a tight hug.

“Yoongi…” “Stay like this for a minute, I need this” she smiled, encircling her arms around his waist tight. Burying her face in his chest, she inhaled his manly scent. Thanks to Yoongi and Jin, today seemed to be easy for her to endure after all. This is how it feels like to have trusted people by her side, she need not to worry about her insecurities. They will come to aid when she needs them.

Meanwhile, beyond the door was Namjoon doing his Vlive for the fans. As he read through the comment, Namjoon was taken aback to see the comment section were flooded with questions like;

“Who are those people at your door?”

“Namjoon oppa I think someone is in front of your door”

“OMG? DID I JUST SEE SOMEONE HUGGING THERE AGSDJAHAJS”

“THE MEMBER IS DATING? WHO WHO?”

“WHO IS THAT GIRL!”

“Eyy, don’t freak out it must be one of the members fooling around”

“I swear to god that is a girl! You can clearly see the height difference and her ponytails?! WTF?”

“Judging from the size and height, could it be Jimin??!”

“It could be Min Yoongi too”

“The height difference and the frame asuwehwdhjws FUCK! It is definitely a girl and a man!”

“Think positive guysss! Namjoon oppa go check who is at the door! I am freaking out!!!”

 His eyes sprung open reading the unusual comment and he quickly turned back to confirm it with his own eyes, whether it was only a prank by Armys. To his dismay, it wasn’t some empty words. There were two people at the door of his studio, holding onto each other sparking questions inside his head.

Namjoon bid a farewell to Armys without commenting anything about the unclear reflection came from his door, and he settled down to confront whoever outside his studio. Indeed, Armys have eyes like a hawk. This was not their first time seeing through things that they shouldn’t see.

He was moving quickly, stealthily towards the door to find Yoongi and Seul exchanging warm hugs. They pulled away upon hearing the door clicked open “Hyung? Seul?” Seul blushed softly and forced a smile across her lips.

“Joon..I am about to leave. I will see you guys soon” Namjoon couldn’t take his eyes off Seul and Yoongi however he didn’t want to scare the poor girl. He chose to keep his mouth shut ignoring the possibility that this dating rumour might make to major news headline tomorrow.

“Get back safely Seul” he waved awkwardly.

Yoongi sent her off to the elevator, “Text me alright?” he ruffled her hair along with his signature gummy smile.

“Goodnight Yoong”

 -----------------

The following day, Namjoon woke up early than he planned. He didn’t sleep a wink last night with all the worries and fear bubbled inside him. What if Armys sense something is wrong and make fuss over the issue? What he should do to stop the rumours from spreading?

He settled deeper under the warm covers, not wanting to think about what he read on Twitter and Naver. Namjoon spent his night reading fans tweet to see their theories on the enigmatic figure behind the doors. And, he was right. The keyword ‘RM VLIVE’ and ‘RM Studio Door’ were both trending on twitter and naver. Not to mention, Armys had came up with a hashtag #AskRM on twitter and was trended first worldwide for 9 hours straight.

Groaning in frustration, Namjoon sat up and rubbed his forehead. His head was pounded at the thought of this rumour circulating around the fans. He prayed that fans will stop speculating and it wouldn’t reach the press or even worse Bang PD. Fortunately, everyone seemed busy to notice this kind of trending made by fans. Lets just stay that way.

Namjoon spoke to no one about this issue even though the chances that the members to figure out truth from the internet was quite high, he planned to tell others the first thing in the morning. Today would be their last day for Love Yourself promotion before proceeding with their Wings Tour until early December. He was determined to not ruin today’s fansign and acted normal. He better not screwed it up.

     This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2021. All Rights Reserved