#harry styles x reading

[sushistyless]

Kisses in kiwi flavour.

just some early morning love between Y/N and H.

1.2k (blurb). My masterlist!

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“Mhm,” Harry grumbles sleepily as he wraps his tatted arms around Y/N’s waist, encasing her with his strong chest. His arrival in their tiny kitchen (but cozy— they’d add) catches her by surprise, a breathy laugh leaving her lips. She melts into his touch, liking the pattern his fingers make as they skate on the bare skin that’s revealed from the way he rucks her (well, previously his) shirt.

“What’s m’precious doing up so early?” He bends down some, the raspy notes of his voice resonating against her neck, and the feel of his lips curving against the canvas of her skin as he speaks slowly.

Y/N breathes in deeply, a smile blooming on her face from his words alone. She flips a pancake, noticing how the golden brown colour on it has spread evenly, and plops it over onto the ceramic plate kept on the side. She nestles further into him as she does so, and Harry’s hold on her tightens, his face now buried in the crook of her neck as he inhales her scent— rosemary and… cinnamon? — revelling in the knowledge that he now has her full attention.

“She’s making pancakes for you. She’s amazing actually.”

Harry grins hazily at her response, kissing her neck and skating his palms gently along her soft waist before giving her love handles a little squeeze. “Don’t doubt that. My dodo is amazing.”

Y/N bites her lip in efforts to stifle her own fluttering laugh, cushioning her head back on his bicep, and leaning back into him. She twists her head to look up at him, fondly gazing over his features while he continues to talk in the drawly velvety voice of his, “But as wonderful as tha’ is, she left me without m’cuddles this morning.” He pouts, giving her puppy dog eyes that are way too easy to fall for, Y/N thinks. “And I need m’girl to give me my daily dose of cuddles t’function.”

He was such a dodo too.

“Oh no,” Y/N gasps dramatically, “How will you live now? I’m getting worked up just thinking about it—” She pretends to faint on his arm, animatedly throwing a hand over her heart and closing her eyes.

“Hey,” Harry warns, the muscles in his cheek resisting the usual urge to twitch into a grin, “She should know that I have her in my arms— in m’clutches— right this second.”

Y/N blows a raspberry, not giving much regard to the threat, instead fanning her hands in front of her face, “Yeah, yeah, right. Like tha—" Her sentence is cut short however, when Harry’s hands move to tickle her sides. A bubble of chirpy laughter immediately bubble out of her system, as she curls into herself as a built in mechanism.

“H-Harry!” She squirms in his embrace, laughs pouring out her lungs, grappling to hold onto his wrists which is almost impossible considering his tactful tickle skills. And even when she does manage to get a hold of him, he’s way too strong for her to move especially when she’s already in an annoyingly compromised situation. “

“Yeah?” He beams, deep dimples making little craters in his cheeks, “Don’t worry now. Her laughs have resurrected me.” His fingers continue to squiggle around her sides until his arms wrap around her form completely, fully holding her to him.

He decides to relieve her by planting a big smooch on her cheek, and there’s quiet in the room from her breathing finally slowing down, heavy pants and little laughs leaving her lips as she calms down. Her fingers move to thread around with Harry’s, a pulse in his grip as she does so.

“Boo you, H,” she beams, panting out, “Absolute meanie.” She shakes her head, eyes betraying her quest to stay unaffected as if they remain with a blushy, joyful little twinkle in her crinkled eyes.

Harry only stares back at her, the biggest smile pulling on his lips. He watches the sparkle in her eyes, happiness cradling his heart at the fact that he could be the cause of that.

“I wanna kiss you, now.” Harry whispers and flips her to face him completely, entranced by the sight of his idiot. His lover. His dodo.

His.

“Yeah?” she counters, slowly pushing herself up to sit on the now empty, slightly flour-y counter. Harry catches on and guides her by the hips, assisting her.

“Yeah.”

That’s when she pops a piece of kiwi from the bowl on the counter into her mouth.

A glint in her eyes is next slowly, and before he knows it, she’s chewing on it.

“Aish. Too bad. Toooo, too bad.” She lets out a soft giggle as she chews, hand covering her mouth, “Such deprivation this is for you. How can you kiss me, when I-I’m eating, Hm?”

“Oh, no.” He smirks at her, “S’bad manners to talk while eating.” He brushes a strand of hair out of his face, his teasing and banter with her mischievous, actions tender. He scrunches his nose some, “Guess it’s time for me to break a rule too, then.”

He moves forward and nudges his nose with hers, and Y/N helps, giggling softly as she pulls back, chewing with her mouth still covered by her hand, a bit of the kiwi juice trickling down her lips. “H! Oh my god, you are—"

“— much less clumsy than you? Yeah, you messy girl. I am.” He grins showing his usual dimples, eyes far too busy twinkling into taking her features as he brings up his thumb and carefully swipes away the little bit of kiwi juice trickling down her chin.

Y/N giggles softly, with a shy glow in her eyes as he does so, finishing her bite. Just as she’s done, in a moment of bold mischief she tries to reach for the bowl again.

“Ah, ah— ahh. Nope.” Harry’s hand immediately reaches for her, pulling it back, a lopsided smile tugging on his lips. “You menace.”

“Oh, I’m the menace?”

“‘Course you are. You’re dodging m’kisses.”

“I’m eating, H! I-" she bubbles out in a laugh, cut off by him.

“Is it ‘cause I ate that last donut you wanted yesterday?” He now pouts, his hold on her tightening as he bends a bit and nudges her nose with his. “Aw, and now you’re upset, Hm?”

She pouts a bit herself, laughing breathily, as she noses back at his nose, eyes closed. “See? You’re so mean. You’re not even sorry about it.”

“‘M such a meanie,” Harry says with a little smile, his eyes fluttering shut as he rests his forehead against hers.

Y/N finally leans in and kisses him, eyes closed too, as the soft touch of her hands behind his neck send tingles down his spine. Supple lips locked in a sweet dance with hers, harry deepens the kiss, tilting his jaw and pulling her flush against his chest, strong arms tightening against her soft frame.

He pulls away barely, eyes full of tender affection as he looks at her own irises, filled with a shy, excited tinge.

He whispers soft, eyelashes fluttering close to hers in a butterfly kiss, “Mmh. Y’taste like Kiwi.”

She kisses him back, barely able to contain her own shy little smile, “And you owe me a donut.”

———

ah, thank you so much for reading!! if you enjoyed, please consider reblogging and liking! 🤍

[smuttyaf]

Please, please, please?

𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰; 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

wc; 12.8k | xxxtra for the business

“What are you doing up?”

Forest view gazing down your body in the reflection before him as he continues to button his dress shirt. The sheer nightgown displays perky nipples with lettuce trim flowing across your upper thigh slightly revealing the delicate bow of your panties.

You rested against the door frame, one hand rubbing your eye as the other felt over the soft panel of wood. The dim lighting that the walk-in closet brings allows your eyes to quickly adjust to his appearance; sleek Amiri suit fitting his body sophisticatedly, hair pushed away from his face with the combination of his cologne intruding the area. His dazzling physique adds brightness to the space that makes your fingers fall from their position with lips parting.

Every morning Harry would be gone before you even wrinkled your nose, and every night you would already be laid to rest and still he wouldn’t be by your side until hours later. With such days left unseen but only felt through late night touches, it’s as if it's been months since you’ve last seen him.

“I heard you.” Words said so soft and gentle that it has Harry halt his movements to turn around.

He drinks in the way your body leans off the frame and towards him. Subconsciously swaying your hips seductively making your breasts jump to each beat, your face still resembling needed sleep. Your own perfume fills his nose and has his body float towards you effortlessly just as your arms wrap around his shoulders. Tired eyes and cracked lips staring at him with his favorite look.

“I’m sorry.”

“I miss you.”

The pads of your fingertips run along his shoulder blades and down his chest to meet where his dress shirt still reveals inked skin. Manicure nails aid in continuing to button his shirt as both of your stares never waiver.

“Always leaving me so early.” Sleepy voice running across his skin as you lean on your toes to raise up and fix his collar.

Harry tongue peeks out of his mouth to run across his bottom lip, his own touch finding itself wrapped around your hips as he lets his head bow. Hearing those words makes his heart ache, how could it not? Especially when you look like this, all needy and submissive with little cloth covering your skin; he was missing you in every way.

“I don’t mean too…” His own voice coming out quiet yet deep at the same time he brings you closer into his chest.

A sincere hum carries from your throat, head bobbing and lashes fluttering as your fingers roam down his chest slowly. His heart beat picks up under your palm as you lean in, slight smile toying at your lips as you feel his erection press against your thigh.

“I know.” You mutter with gaze breaking from his and letting them run down his frame. The touch that feels amongst him fits itself along his pelvis and begins to grope his cock.

The heavy feel of it in your grip makes you moan quietly, sight batting up at him as your fingers run over his thickness. Whether it was his fragrance clouding your senses or his touch drawing you into his magnetic presence, you were captivated by him and wanted him to take you right then and there.

Sure, it might be four in the morning and Harry should already be leaving the penthouse by now, but you wanted him and it was clear the feeling was mutual.

“I just miss spending time with you.” Grip tightening around his girth as your lips lean forward and dot kisses along his dress shirt.

“I miss feeling you.” One of his hands leaves your waist to run up your spine and collect your locks in his hold, his grip gently tugging your neck back as he continues to lean down and be mesmerized by your aura.

“Especially inside me.” You whisper letting the connection in the room grow stronger as eyes glaze over in pure lust from the situation. “Don’t you miss it too?”

Harry’s teeth dig into his bottom lip, sight examining every twitch and needy draw of your hand just begging for him to fuck you. It’s so alluring, the way your mouth parts to expel the way you feel and how your body curls into him just dying for the feeling you’ve been restrained of.

The strands of your hair collected in his palm holds your head back even further, lips moving closer towards yours as your hand never draws away from stroking his erection through his slacks.

“Of course I do.” Harry mumbles just at the same time you whimper from his breath running across your lips.

The submissive sound makes him smirk, such simple words responding to your question that makes you moan so easily in a way that has him reeling. Harry can’t get enough of you, not when you're laying it down on him like this.

“You want me baby?” He adds with hand leaving your hip and descending down your backside, his fingers sinking beneath the surface of your nightgown and feeling your fat cheeks.

A shaky breath escapes your mouth, eyes closing sensually as you hum and continue to touch him as he does you. Smooth expensive material and the essence of your delicate skin drawing both of you together to tease each other in the closed space.

It’s crazy how enthralled you both can be with just a few seconds in each other’s presence. How there’s this never ending attraction constantly tying you together with the need to crave the other in the most unhealthy way possible. All those empty mornings and lonely nights are embedded with each stroke down his cock and whine leaving your throat.

“Yes.” You whisper as his lips press against yours following every motion of your mouth. “Please Harry, please?”

Flesh sinks amongst each other not caring for the indifference of morning breath but instead on pleasuring the ache of arousal that’s been brewing since buttoning the rest of his shirt. Transfix stare and persuasive body language was all that was needed to have both of you ready to pounce for the forgotten time spent.

His tongue roams amongst yours messily as if drunk from the off taste of you, his fingers running over your pussy lips as the other begins to massage your scalp. It was moments when he touches you like this that make you melt like putty in his hands. So gentle yet rough, so tall but firm. You’re sure it’s obvious how much you desire his cock at the moment, it’s practically written all over your face and Harry loves that.

It’s admirable how you whimper and blush under his presence, how you can be so confident in your actions but submissive with such little effort. It has him groaning against your lips, his mouth smoothly slotting against yours as he takes steps deeper into your presence that makes you walk backwards, your body shuffling across the room to press you into the otherside of the closet.

The rushed movement squishes your grip against his hips as he begins to runt himself into your body. Palm pressed tightly amongst his stiff cock as it moves roughly dying to feel you wrapped around him.

“Mr. Styles…”

Dominant name falls from your mouth smoothly while head cranes back into the closet frame. The cool feel of the wood makes you hum pleasantly as his lips float amongst your chin, light kisses sinking along your flesh with his fingers begin to swivel circles along your throbbing hole.

Having you like this and calling him by his desired title was like dangling candy in front of his face. You’re so eager to please and submit to him it’s like you’re just begging for it as much as he is.

And Harry adores that, absolutely loves it, really. The way he can shove you into furniture as if nothing and have you moaning against him like the toy you are to him. Tiny clothing fitting plump flesh with the savory taste of you that he’s been missing these past few weeks, it’s so wrong of him to leave you with such little attention but with the way you act so desperate for his touch, god does he love it so much.

“I’d love to baby,” He breathes as his hand releases from your hair and gazes down the other side of your neck.

The way he has you positioned right now, with dripping pussy lips and moaning incoherently against him has him thrust forward again. His touch roaming amongst your collarbones with delicate yet rough fingers following the indents of your skin as if trying to memorize every divet and curve.

It draws over your shoulder to skim down your armpit, cupping your breast to soon let his palm flex the fat skin together as if a stress reliever before letting go to twist your aroused nipples in his grip. A sharp intake of breath gathers within your lungs as your sight slithers open to reveal dainty light fixtures and Harry’s feathered curls.

“Please sir, I want you so bad.” You whine with your head swaying to press love into his neck.

“Really?” Teasing voice of him running across your flesh that has you shiver at the feel.

Your hand flexes amongst his moving hips as you indulge in the feeling of him playing with you. Fingers drawing down soaked folds, splatter of bruises trickling up your skin as he taunts you. Even though you hate when he toys with you like this, you can’t help but love it.

“Yes… don’t you feel what you do to me.” Inhaling eerily as your hips jerk shakily at the feel of his fingers grazing your clit.

Harry hums knowingly. His own body stepping further into your touch as if reiterating your own words with the way his cock drags against your skin wanting nothing more than to feel your walls around him.

“I do… and I love it.” He sighs with mouth drawing away from bitten skin and carrying his head up to look at your blissed out face. “I love it so much.”

Mouth sinking against yours to deliver the fresh peppermint paste floating amongst his tongue to transfer along yours and swirl together.

His thumb and index finger release from their previous motions of tugging your nipple to softly smack the flesh and collect it into his palm once more. The thin material allows him to feel every ripple and squirm that draws down your body as he continues to explore every space he’s missed so much.

From the smell of your shampoo to the way your body molds against his so easily it sways his frame into yours. The spine of the closet digging further into your back, tongue stroking against yours lovingly while his paste slows down in your hand.

A relieving sigh passes through your nose as mouths continue to link together and exchange in sloppy kisses, limbs continue to flex and move against each other with eagerness as Harry stands pressed against you refined and exquisite. His cologne making you dizzy in the best way as hands leave you a begging mess. You missed him so much.

Pinned fingers slither up the tight expanse of his waist to trail along the undercut of his curls, nails scratching the surface lightly just as his hips slouch against yours once more. The desperate plea for attention graces both of your lips as his mouth pulls away, the wet feeling of him leaves you only to carry your touch to bring him closer once more.

“I can’t baby.”

Disappointment falls amongst your skin warm with a combination of his fingers feeling over your clit playfully, only furthering your desire for him. An unsatisfied huff passes through your lips before you’re taking initiative to lean forward and begin drawing your love amongst his jaw.

“Please, Harry.” You sigh with touch going to gently massage the bottom of his neck. Thumbs drawing softly down the expanse that has him relaxing further under your touch. “I miss you so much.”

Hips rolling amongst his erection as you let his skin suck between your lips, tongue swirling against the expanse before your releasing it to further create bruises along the space.

“And I miss you too…” His fingers drawing down your slit once more before it’s passing between your ass cheeks and hugging you closer amongst the curve of your ass. “But I have to go.”

“No.” You whine pathetically, fingers halting from their previous motions as your head slouches against the pane. “Just stay.” Sight looking up as you carry his face towards yours letting him see how bad you want him no matter how it made you look.

“Please?”

Whispered softly and so sweetly that it puckers his lips, head swaying sadly as he peers down at you. Like always, he stares through you as if knowing every little thought dwindling in your mind and satisfied with the fact that he consumes every single one of them.

“I’m sorry, baby… you know I am, I want to spend every day with you.” His fingers crawl up to cup your bum as his lips fall into a straight line. “But I have to go.”

Another huff passes through your lips before your sight is rolling in annoyance. Nails trailing down his skin in disdain at the same time Harry lands gentle smack against your cheek.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me.” He commands which leaves you bowing your head under his gaze. His right hand trails away from their position to fit itself amongst your chin, his favorite place to hold.

“When you agreed to be mine, you gave me the right to do whatever I want with you.” Teeth sucking back his bottom lip as he looks over your features before releasing the flesh. “It’ll only be a few hours, then I’ll be back.. so I want you to be a good girl, and I’ll see you when I get home.”

His eyes draw close as he places one more cherished kiss amongst your sad lips. Another depressing huff fills the space when he pulls away, gaze skimming down your frame as his fingers grip your cheeks in his palm.

It never made sense to you why he always needs to be up so early for work, never understood why his presence is needed at the highest point in dawn but still you never questioned it. Harry provides for you, anything you want and need he’ll snap his finger and have it in your hands immediately, so you’re not one to question his absence with everything given. However you are entertained to see him refrain from falling into your tactics, especially in this situation.

Your head turns away from him at the same time the touch that once draped along his neck pushes his hand away as you side step him..

“What a shame.” You sigh as you begin walking towards the entrance, head twisting a bit to catch Harry staring at you while fixing himself back up. A smirk tugs across your lips from the obvious attention before you watch him quickly scoop up his blazer and walk towards you.

A giggle trails from your lips as he comes up behind you beginning to pinch your sides. Playful teasing continues down the descent of you following him to the elevator and kissing him goodbye. It was only seconds later did you curl into bed and slip back to sleep, letting the previous moments aid in the pleasant dreams that sweep you away for a couple more hours.

“Tired?” Emilio smiles once taking the car out of park and checking his blind spot before pulling out.

A genuine smile tugs at your lips as you nod your head in agreement. “Nothing like feeling burnout on a Tuesday.”

Hands leaving your sides to tighten your ponytail as you still feel sweat dampen the baby hairs flatten amongst your forehead. Your sight catches over the many pedestrians and street vendors filling the road as you begin to make your way home.

Pilates definitely kicked your ass today but it was worth it, the soreness in your calves to the slight pain running along the underside of your arms only meant you were looking your absolute best. Ever since being away from Jasper’s you spent all your days going to appointments to keep up your appearance and have Harry’s entourage chauffeur you around.

All his credit card information connected to your phone to tap away whatever you needed, weekly money transfers to your account regardless of such access to his life. It was reassuring that you held a place in there, that you were really his and can confidently say that.

Fingers draw down your neck feeling the dry sweat built up after your class. The crusty feel of it makes your face twist in disgust before skimming your hand along your leggings. A sigh leaves your mouth as your head kneels back into the leather interior, eyes scanning every skyscraper crossing your vision as cool air blows through the vents.

“Don’t worry miss, once you get home and take a nice shower you’ll feel ten times better!” Sincere smile being sent through the rear view mirror which has you laugh softly.

“Hopefully.”

Though a shower would be nice and refreshing you knew the only thing that would sooth your bones was a nice warm bath, which is exactly what you began to run once you got in.

You smiled at Cleo in the doorway before heading straight upstairs to bring the water to the right temperature before stripping down and dipping into the steamy bubble bath letting aromas of lavender and vanilla fill the space.

Sore skin and weak limbs relax softly against the porcelains bath that lets a satisfying moan trail out. You rest against the panel and drag your fingers down the many jet flow options provided.

Moments like this amaze you that this is what your life consisted of now; nail appointments, facials, regular shopping sprees, and pilates lessons. All you had to do was look pretty and keep your mouth shut and Harry rewarded you for such things. That’s been your motto most recently, just smile and nod, be his good little doll that he loves so much.

Chewing on your bottom lip you firmly press on the preferred jet option only increasing the volume of bubbles in the steaming water. Carefully you turn on your thigh, fingers swiping amongst your towel carefully before collecting your phone and immediately going to your camera.

The large window space in the expansive bathroom adds beautiful light to display thick clouds to surround you and display water dripping from your slender shoulders and around your plump round breasts, you knew you looked amazing, especially after a workout, so it was only right to tease Harry, make him feel bad for leaving you hot and heavy after not seeing him for so long.

You carefully zoom in and lean your phone downwards purposely posing with your tits out on display, the consistent clicks ring off in the space before you turn your camera a bit to lean over and display your backside even more. The photos you took are sexy and without a second thought you’re picking your favorites and sending them to Harry.

Your body twists around once more, eyes watching closely with lip between your teeth as you see the photos registered as delivered on both ends. Index fingers tap along either side of your phone as you feel anxiety begin to creep up. You’ve never been bold enough to send him nudes because it was never necessary in the relationship; whenever Harry wanted your attention it didn’t take much for you to provide him with it, but it’s only been as if recently after moving in did little time begin to be spent with each other.

Carelessly you begin scrolling up and reading your previous conversations from days ahead asking him when he’ll be home to how’s work to i miss you’s, that’s normally all they ever consisted of as he spent his time doing god knows what in your absence.

And just as your thoughts begin to veer that far your screen automatically slides down to reveal three bubbles dancing across the screen for what seems to be so eerily long as your heart thumps against your chest until his response floats across the screen.

More

Only registering in your brain as the many times he would encourage you to beg for more of his withering attention during times of need.

As if being in that same situation you immediately go back to your camera and subtly push your breasts together. Flaky bubbles dotting amongst your chest as water flows between the crevice of skin between swollen breasts, your index finger and thumb collect your nipple and tug on it with mouth slightly parted and moaning quietly.

Once again, you choose your favorite pictures and send them to him. The ringing swipe of the photos goes through just as you let your back relax with happiness soaring through, it felt good to finally be noticed.

Turn around

Bend over for me baby

Teeth chew into the side of your mouth before you raise up once more, free hand positioning your towel against the marble surface while carefully clicking the longest timer setting before beginning to pose.

Both hands leaning on the side of the tub while you curve your spine just the way he likes, head leaning to the side to stare out the window and let the strands of your hair cascade down your back beautifully. The timer goes off letting the multiple lens sound puncture your ears, you smile to yourself before turning around and setting it up once more, this time with your chest leaning into the rim of the tub and both hands pulling your cheeks apart to have your pussy out on display.

Once the familiar ring goes off again you’re gripping your phone back into your palm and looking through the raunchy pictures. You haven’t took photos like these since highschool so it was reassuring that the long forgotten poses are still ingrained in your memory and that Harry was appreciating it.

After selecting your favorite ones you immediately send them to him, teeth biting into your lip and feeling the soft plump skin below as your thumb begins to move across the keyboard.

Don’t you want to fill me up, sir?

Smirk tugging across your lip as hand begins to roam along your body. From shoulder blades to breasts, to the crevices of your ribs to your belly button until it draws down your pussy.

The memory of Harry’s own fingers groping you this morning floods your mind. His lips pressed against yours, body shoving you into walls with cock pressed snug against you. You missed him so much, and hopefully this is persuading enough to get him home at this moment.

You’re so sexy princess

Got me so hard during my meeting

Your heart immediately paddles at the thought of him looking down at his phone with such pictures of you crossing the screen being surrounded by business men. It turned you on and you wanted nothing more than to please him at this moment despite the distance.

I miss you so much Mr. Styles

I’m touching myself thinking about this morning

Finger swirls around your clit with an erotic moan flowing out as pleasure creeps up your body. The added pressure of the jets massaging your limbs adds to your body relaxing and hips slouching amongst the glass letting you sink deeper into the tub.

Interesting

I don’t remember telling you to do that

Your ear begins to ring at the words floating across the screen, heart beat increasing as you continue to let your touch float amongst your pussy once more.

Even from far away Harry’s dominance speaks volumes, how you manage to feel even more warmer while soaking in this bathtub at the change in conversation over such conditions, how you can nearly feel his irritated demeanor through the screen.

With teeth now chewing into your lips and fingers tapping amongst the case of your phone, you can’t help the surge of deviance that crawls through. He’s the one who left you all high and dry this morning, hell, he’s been the one gone for weeks without little care for your needs. It was only right for you to poke at him.

I know but I don’t feel like being a good girl today

Sight watching closely the way the three dots build up on the screen with quickness at resistance over your actions. It wasn’t only entertaining but it was endearing seeing his feelings and how possessive he is towards you.

Don’t play smart with me

You better not be touching yourself still

Every sentence translates in your mind as his voice which has another moan trail from your throat, lashes fluttering as your touch flattens against your pussy lips.

And if I am?

Giggle slipping through as you let your finger pull away and slither backup your body from its previous descent.

This is exciting… actually this was more than that, it was fun! Having Harry rock hard on the other side of the city while you tease him through the phone. It finally felt like you had some control back and you’ll do whatever you can to maintain it.

If you are then you’re not gonna like your punishment when I get home

A wobble of a smile flows amongst your features at the premeditated event already set in place, how he’s already plotting about how he’ll discipline and treat you. It was only right that you feel completely light headed at the thought of what can happen hours from now.

Oh well

Guess I will see you when you get here then

If that’s how you want to play it then be ready

You grin to yourself happily as lock your phone before twirling yourself over in the bathtub, giddy feeling tingling through your toes and down your spine at the adrenaline soaring through about what's in store.

After the steamy conversation, you cleaned up and immediately began preparing yourself. Vintage Christian Dior mini dress gently running along your skin as thin socks cover up to your knees. You did your hair all nice and voluminous with natural makeup enhancing your features as well as spraying your signature scent on all pulse points.

After getting ready you blasted your playlist and started cooking immediately, strands of hair pushed behind your ears as you began to prep the meat and vegetables for the extensive meal about to be made just to impress Harry. Typically you wouldn’t make something so large since you’re the one eating in the dining room, but you wanted to make this night special and cater to him his favorite way.

Boiling noodles, seasoning meat, washing leafy greens before you begin to hear the beautiful sound of searing steak and smell the delicious food beginning to fill the penthouse. You made sure everything was perfect; constantly checking temperatures, carefully looking over the stringy pasta so it was just the right amount of soft that Harry enjoys.

It was as if you’re a teenager again with the ecstatic feeling consuming you over him being home tonight. It must be very telling because Cleo struts in and loops himself between your legs, beginning to purr adding comforting reassurance that makes you relax a bit and not overwhelm yourself with the high expectations you set.

You grade cheese, layer it in a dazzling pattern before popping it in the oven and setting it to bake. You remember to consistently spoon the natural oil onto the steak cutlets so it soaks in the juices properly while tossing and turning the carrots and broccoli in another pan. You were focused and attentive towards every occupied gasket making sure everything is going smoothly.

With everything that Harry does for you this night has to be special. From appearances to flavor, everything has to look its best. Living in this high rise apartment, being surrounded by such luxury it was only right to pamper and care for him after all that he does. Even despite leaving early and staying out late on a regular occurrence it was obvious that you’re happy to play this role in his life as his own personal doll, and like everything you have to play the part perfectly.

Once all sides are cooked you decorate the dining table and plate everything before cleaning up any remaining messes. The savory smell tingles your nose and has your lips running over each other wholeheartedly content with the dinner choices for tonight.

Just as you light a candle to add to the ambiance of the decorated kitchen, the gears of the elevator doors turning pick up your already anxious heart and have a nervous smile tugging across your mouth.

You carefully slip away from the connected kitchen to pass through the lounging area where you see the sliver doors begin to pull apart. The once scared smile turns into a wide grin as you see a large circular bouquet of red roses pressed against Harry’s suited chest. Your paste turns into delicate hops on your toes when passing by the living room and right towards him stepping into the quaint hallway.

“Hi baby!” You shine with happiness, leaning up on your toes as he meets you halfway to press a kiss to your lips.

“My love.” He says once pulling away and letting his hand sling around your waist while passing you the flowers. “For you.”

“They’re beautiful,” You smile while leaning in once more to give him a peck. “Let me put these in a vase.” Turning on your heel you begin to retrace your steps before you feel Harry’s presence behind you.

“What are you doing?” You question while stopping in your tracks, his own body halting as he smiles admired by you.

“Pouring myself a glass.” Being his answer that has you looking at him with a raised brow and seductive glint in your eye.

“Sit down, I’ll fetch you it.” Sight connecting between the couch and him which leaves him to smirk before taking a seat.

His sight draws down your frame obnoxiously drinking in your appearance. The black slip dress provides in your curves to stand out heavenly as the knee length pantyhose places an undeniable sexy appeal over you. Just seeing you like this was already making him hard despite only being around each other for a few seconds.

You concedingly sway your hips as you pass through the door frame and run luke warm water before pouring the proper contents into a vase and sticking the bouquet in. After trending to your surprise gift you return back to the large living room where you go to the designated bar in the space and begin fixing his usual order.

It was impossible for you not to watch him from your position in the room. Despite only seeing the back of his head and faint side profile Harry radiants all that you love in this man. His beauty, determination, class, elegance. There is so much to adore about him that it isn’t a surprise you already feel your clit throbbing.

His body shuffled against the leather of the couch, his fingers undoing buttons to peel open his blazer and carry a cuban to his lips, soon the aged tobacco adds to the delicious smell in the air which further reminds you of how much you’ve missed him.

Three cubes of ice clink amongst the glass before you’re filling the intricate cup half way and making your way over to your boyfriend. Your knees cushioning your position as you sit next to him with drink outstretched.

Just as he inhales the rolled leaf, his hand peels away from his thigh to accept the glass and send a wink your way, only making you blush from ear to ear.

“Are you hungry? I just finished dinner and set everything out,” You question while examining the way the smoke bellows through the space before he’s sipping back the dark liquid.

Adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow, lengthy fingers gripping the glass as his body rests along the couch pleasantly. His cologne fills your nose and has you subconsciously leaning closer towards him, one hand running amongst his thigh and other resting along his bicep.

“I made lasagna with steak, medium rare just how you like, and I made—”

“—Domestic looks good on you.”

Faint smile tugs across your lips as heart thumps at the compliment. Your head sways into his shoulder when looking towards his slacks that display his obvious erection.

“You think so?” Hand drawing down the material as you fit yourself deeper into his side.

“All this for me? Of course.” His arm raises to fit over your shoulders and bring you closer. “I love what I’m molding you to be.”

Stomach immediately fills with butterflies at such manipulative words entering the air that now fuels the heightened craving you feel towards Harry.

“Put this down for me love,” His hand fitting the glass amongst your hand along his thigh. Immediately you accept and place it onto the center table. Your head turning to look at him as you sit up and gaze towards his appearance.

His sight examines every feature over your face while he inhales the tobacco. Black mascara painting your lashes, pink hue of gloss spread amongst your lips as warmth carries throughout your cheeks and down your neck. He loves that he has this control over you, how you get so nervous under his eyes. He absolutely adores it.

“I appreciate the meal but I’m not really hungry for that.” Thick clouds twirl between the space of you both as your teeth fits along your lip. The hand that once carried the cool drink runs its way back down his knee and up his thigh.

“Thought I forgot about what you did today?” Harry chuckles darkly while leaning in and drawing his mouth along your neck.

Flesh rolls into your mouth as you shake your head softly, touch running along his erection to outline the thick shape of him with a soft whimper leaving your throat at such dirty words gracing your skin.

“Speak doll, I want you to speak.”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“No, Mr. Styles.”

Knees sink deeper into the cushions as you drink in the curls that flow effortlessly through his scalp and lips so smooth, continuously teasing you to the point that such possessive words captivate you.

“So… what are you waiting for?” Green eyes looking between you and his cock as he brings the cigar to his mouth.

Thighs push together at such discern for your feelings as he shuffles deeper into the couch. Your grip over his erection drawing down the length as you fit your hand next to the occupied one.

Tongue slithers out of your mouth to taste the gloss across your lips as you excitedly begin to undo his belt. Rushed fingers tugging the belt through its metal loops that makes Harry smirk at your eager behavior, his sight watching closely the way you tug his pants down and look back at him with doe eyes.

“I missed your cock in my mouth so much,” You hum as your hands feel over his thickness, lashes fluttering in your vision over how hard he is in your palm.

A smirk tugs across Harry lips as he sucks in the poisonous smoke, gaze examining you like he always does when caught up in your submissive demeanor. How your flesh juts out bitten and shiny, hands softly stroking him with affection as your body continues to lean impossibly close to him captivated by his dominance.

His hand draws away from your shoulder to draw along the back of your neck, thumb smoothly running across your skin staring at you and all your beauty. Harry still can’t comprehend how you're his. How your charm and captivating aura are forever bound to him in every way imaginable. How all it takes is one look and his cock is standing up straight unable to control his desire for you even if it’s for a split second.

It’s what makes the connection so riveting, constantly tied by such attractive beauty. Perky breasts bound by lace with polyester shining under the low light from the setting in the room, to the skyscrapers shining in the distance. Hair flowing down your shoulders with spine beautifully curved to nestle in his chest. He worships your beauty and attentiveness, always ready whenever he is as if been longing even worse for such receptive touch, as if missing it just as much as he is.

“Is that so?” He hums with touch feeling over baby hairs. Teasing voice flowing across your skin as his sight looks over your lips; plump and juicy, all red and bitten, he wants to kiss you, wants to taste your sweet tongue amongst his but he hasn’t forgotten his plan.

“Yes, sir.” Answering with a nod of your head as fingers blindly release him from his boxers and moan at the warm heaviness of him.

“Well…” Harry sighs while letting his grip over your neck tighten to control your movements as he playfully shakes your head. “It doesn’t look like it.”

His other hand carries the cuban to his lips while he releases your head and slouchs amongst the cushions. Once again, his nonchalant demeanor swoons you to shuffle backwards on your knees and lean further down his body.

Eyes relish in the beauty of his erection; how it’s all veiny and pulsing in your hand. It has you moaning at the site, how lengthy and thick he is, how he fills up every inch of you so effortlessly. You’re so consumed by the look of him that you're salivating, drool hanging down the corner of your mouth before they pierce together to spit along the slit of his cock.

Saliva divides into three as it flows down the girth of him, such a dazzling sight in front of you that you don’t resist to lean forward and suck him into your mouth. Glossy flesh wrapping around the crown of him while tongue drags around the curved edges, immediately a moan muffles around him from the salty taste.

Lashes flutter at the forgotten flavor of him, mouth twisting to relish in the fact that he’s finally between your lips. That the weighty feel of him already dragging down your throat has your thighs spreading wider and eyes sensually rolling.

Mouth slowly slides down the expanse of him, spit cascading down every vein and covering every inch of skin till there’s no longer air filling up your lungs. It’s a delicious burning feeling, the way they thump and beg for oxygen till your nose is running across the soft hairs along Harry’s groin. It’s the best kind of pleasure, the type that has you moaning against him once more before drawing up and admiring how wet and gorgeous his cock looks.

And just as you’re so starstruck by how hefty he stands and fits in your palm, does he hum pleasantly at the sight of you yearning for him, all deer eye and pouty, he can’t control his hands from spreading down your back and rubbing against your plump ass cheeks, his other hand bringing his cigar to his lips and puffing on the cuban.

Smoke breezes through dancing in twirls as you continue to slurp him down your throat. Trousers bunched up over his knees, your dress riding up to reveal your skinny g-string, his own grip feeling over exposed skin as lights twinkle over and illuminate the sexual space. The energy of dominance that radiates is strong yet easy to distinct the submissive role of being on your knees and swallowing him down.

“Good girl.” Harry groans with thighs shuffling against the cushions, his head leaning back as his eyes close.

The grip your mouth has over him, slick and cherry red engulfing him so beautifully, he forgot how good your mouth feels. So succulent, so moist, god, you have so much control over him you don’t even know.

It’s why his hand lies a deafening smack against your backside, why he grunts wholeheartedly, aroused by the way he feels your flesh recoil back, how soft yet fat it is. He has to suck in a breath to control himself from acting on his immediate thoughts.

“That’s it… take it all in your mouth.”

Pads of his finger running down the material of your thong till it’s swiping through your lips, the warmth of his slap radiates sending warmth throughout your body. It’s that addicting tingle that has your spine flexing back into his hand. Another muffled moan releasing from your mouth as you draw up his cock, bubbles and spit roaming down the expanse that has you licking your lips at the sight.

“What did I just say?” Harry huffs, the hand carrying the cigar directs you to take him back.

In a drowsy trance your swollen smackers part once more to accept him. Glistening eyes met with a tired throat continuing to stroke him. Your vision a mix between his thigh nestle across the couch to the sparkling lights twinkling in the distance. It shifts with each descent down him with blurry spheres filling your vision as tears brim your waterline.

It’s pure euphoric pain that aches throughout your throat; how strained and stuff you feel. Glands burning, cheeks stretched, and tongue sore from swirling around him relishing in the taste that you’ve missed so much.

Your spine curves in as your mouth continues to fit down him. Pleasant hum leaves as your brows push together at him filling your throat completely. Crown of his cock tagging your uvula while your nose grazes against his pubic hair; and just as you’re about to pull away his hand situated on your head shoves you back down, his hips adjusting slightly to begin thrusting into your throat.

“Fuck.” Harry moans in a long drawl as he fucks your mouth. His head leaning away from the couch to open his eyes and watch you follow his every movement.

With each thrust it’s a wet squelching sound releasing into the space, silky and passionate with smooth plush lips. Harry is going absolutely manic the way he’s buried into your throat right now. He’s missed this so much, he’s missed you so much.

You’re irresistible and it’s moments like this where he can’t believe you’re his. Dressed all sexy and bent on all fours just accepting of his movements. It’s why he lands another demanding smack against your ass letting a grunt escape him.

His grip relaxes over your head allowing you to rise up and inhale deeply. Your hand situated between his leg along the couch runs under your eye catching the mess of tears. With sight all fuzzy and mouth sore from the assault you can barely catch your breath before his fingers carefully bring your mouth towards him.

Lips slotting against each other all slow and nurturing as if he wasn’t just roughly fucking your throat minutes ago. His tongue controlled and enticing, twisting and tangling along yours so sensually that you’re moaning into the kiss.

The hand that once cleaned the mascara under your eye runs up his arm to hold his neck. Mouths still exchanging love as hands roam amongst clothing grasping and gripping like time apart was the most dreadful thing for both of you to experience.

Cigar and whisky stains your lips; it’s the long forgotten taste that has you reminiscing about all those late nights and hours you spent fitting amongst each other until falling asleep. All those memories flooding your mind and having your body lean further into him.

“I missed you so much, Harry.” You sigh once pulling away from the kiss. Eyes fluttering open to watch him lean back, hand running over your backside as the other pulls away from your face.

The cigar is long forgotten between his fingers with his attention now sorely on you and the whine that rings through the air so needy for him. He smirks, all charming and sweet, his head leaning forward to press a kiss against your lips while his touch runs up your spine and drags your dress along the skin.

“I know.” He breathes against your flesh, his eyes looking at every feature that displays such eagerness that he simply just has to toy with. “Why don’t you take this off for me baby.” Sight descending down your frame as you bite your lip sensually before standing.

Your foot slips between his thighs and down his calf being intriguing just like when you first met him. Fingers softly roaming down his neck to rest along his shoulders as you stand between his legs, hips swaying to the music in the air as your gaze falls towards his unattended hands nestled along the cushions.

With confidence you lean towards Harry, chest playfully dazzling in its display as you let your hands roam down either side or him till you're collecting the unattended cigar back in your hold. Swiftly turning around you teasingly lean over, ass on display as you continue to sway your hips and place the cuban onto the ashtray.

And as your knees begin to flex your fingers teasingly drape up your hips, feeling over the material as waist continues to swing. The seductive movements have you nostalgic of the familiar decorative room that you both would find yourselves locked away in. How your head rolls and touch skims over lace easily, how your motions are dedicated to being alluring and sexy like the many times you’ve done before.

It adds to the longing desire that’s been craving Harry. Heavy gaze locked watching your every motion, teeth shining as he bites back his lip and watches you dance; he’s captivated, and it’s very telling from his deamour to his erection laying across his stomach. It makes you grow even more hot as if burning up with a fever.

The pads of your toes twist against the floor as your hips continue to move. Fingers running along the trim of your dress, playfully rubbing it further up your waist until pulling the material over your head. Swollen breasts, perky nipples, and delicious hips flowing to the music flowing in the room. It’s like you’re back at Jasper’s with every motion revealing skin and turning each other on even more.

The sexual desire between both bodies is very compelling, it fills the penthouse with the unique aroma of a decadent meal and furious passion brewing within the room. Steps bring yourself closer into his chest with gaze glimmering as he welcomes you with open arms. Harry’s eyes shine as head cranes up, lips pulling back into a smirk as you lean downward getting closer towards him.

“Want me baby?” Voice trailing across your lips with his hands running down your waist as you nod your head and begin tugging down his blazer.

“Mhmm…” You hum just as he raises up to allow you to drape it off him. Your attention completely focused on evening the scale of nudity as you carefully unbutton his dress shirt.

Sparrows, butterfly, and black out heart exposing itself as the soft glow of the chandelier above lights up his toned figure. Immediately it has you licking your lips, sight obnoxiously looking at him all nude and exposed that it has your thighs squish together when your pussy throbs at the sight.

“Get on the table for me.” Harry orders, his gaze examining your body and how delicious you look.

“The table?” You question while pulling away from his face and looking towards the sturdy center piece in the living room.

“Yes, love.” He replies, touch skimming down your thighs before they trail away and run across his own leaving you to follow his command.

Carefully you lie yourself on the glass, the cool feel of it makes you sigh comfortably with calves crossing over themselves. Vision now parallel to Harry who has one arm against the frame of the couch while the other strokes himself. That sight alone has you moaning quietly as you sit up to get an even better view.

“Open ya’ legs.” He commands next, his hand descending down his dick slowly as you unravel your feet and spread them apart.

Harry surveys your body positioned on the table, all firm and tight, how the sheer material along your thighs adds to your aura. Always eager to please, always submissive and ready for whatever he is. He can’t get enough of you.

“Play with yourself.” He directs with tongue wetting his bottom lip and grip drawing back up his length. The sight alone with the combination of his words has you sucking in a breath. Mouth curling in as your knees lift closer towards your chest with thighs widening, hand slipping off the table to run down your stomach.

Teasingly you let your touch run down your bikini area running over your clothed lips. Pleasant hum trailing from your throat as your neck rolls slowly, your finger drawing back up your pussy with eyes lowering at the sensation running through.

“C’mon baby,” Harry eggs on, his thighs sounding against the couch as he shifts forward, his hand gripping your upper thighs and pulling you towards him so roughly that the table moves. The actions have you giggling with head slouching to the side, eyes rolling playfully as you feel his touch roam up your waist.

“Play with your pussy for me.” He orders once more with touch pulling your panties down your legs.

The warm air hits your throbbing core happily making you sigh with comfort. Still a grin spreads across your features as you lean up on your elbow and watch Harry take his place once more. Hand seeping back between your legs to draw fingers down your soaking pussy that begs for attention.

“Yeah, just like that.” Harry breathes, back relaxing into the couch and grip dragging back down his cock.

Those words are so simple yet have your stomach erupt with butterflies, loving such attention spreads your hips wider displaying your middle finger rubbing circles along your clit, soft moan falling from your lips as you see Harry relax further into the couch.

He has seen every single inch of your naked skin but laying here in this position touching yourself in front of him, this was on a whole other level, especially with him sitting across from you doing the same thing. It doesn’t take you long to fall into the intoxicating feeling flowing. Such smooth rhythmic motions pleasuring your pussy making your mouth hang open, heat coursing through your bloodstream at an alarming paste with the way your heart is hammering in your chest. From your own touch to Harry’s hungry gaze, you’re drunk off such emotions.

“Mmm…” You hum in satisfaction, head swaying to the other side as you dip your finger into your pussy. “I feel so tight Mr. Styles.”

Words easily having Harry groan in his seat as he watches closely to the way your juices collect along the ridges of your finger from each stroke pleasing yourself. Sweet nectar shining in the light making his grip tighten amongst the sofa, bicep flexing and thumb running over the slit of his cock bubbling with precum.

Even though he was the one to set up this plan of having you touch yourself in front of him, he didn’t think it would be this tempting. He wants to feel you wrapped around him, all warm and wet. He wants to feel your skin, nice and soft. And he wants to smell your scent all over him while being burrowed in your deepest parts. He’s absolutely feening for you and all that you do.

“Just want you to fill me up,” You continue with lashes batting slowly from the way your knuckle collects with wetness. “Don’t you want that, Mr. Styles.” Lips parting even more as you curl your finger to replicate what he does when having his finger inside you, but because of such difference in length it leaves you whining in your throat.

“Fuck…” You moan in frustration. Head rolling back, eyes closing, and nostrils flaring as your finger leaves your pussy to draw back down your folds. Overwhelming arousal drips out of your punctured hole as your touch collects it to run along your clit once more.

Harry watches everything; the way your breasts bounce subtly, brows push together in frustration with pussy glistening. He’s so hungry for you and it’s just killing him inside watching you and knowing that this what you were doing on the other side of the phone, that the way you're pleasuring yourself right now is what you were doing while he was sitting in front of business executives.

He’s so greedy and for all good reasons. You’re the light of his life, the joy during his boring days that everything you do easily has him ready to pounce on you, but instead his arm tears away from the cushions to let his teeth bite into the back of his hand to control himself.

“Mm.. I want you to touch me, Mr. Styles. Please?” You whine again with head sloshing and pout spreading amongst your lips. The sensitivity roaming has your thighs shudder at the slow motion drawing across your clit.

“I’d love to, baby…” Harry sighs with touch sliding down his cock steadily. “But I love watching you play with yourself.”

Words make your nostrils flare with view locked on him jerking off and surveying you with so much hunger that you’re surprised he wants you to continue your actions. So surprised that the annoyed huff that passes through your lips is noticeable to him, causing his face to light up with amusement.

“You didn’t seem to mind earlier.” He comments with grip twisting himself upwards that makes him hiss at the feel. The sound alone has your brows furrow and head lean back to look towards the ceiling with aggravation.

“No, it wasn’t like that.” You say shaking your head pitifully at the teasing taking place as if you’re not dying to have him fuck your brains out.

“Oh, it wasn’t?”

“No.”

“How was it then?”

Another huff leaves your nose as your head cranes forward to see the charming smile of your boyfriend enjoying the view of his torment. You roll your eyes playfully at the same time your foot extends to run on top of his knee. Sight watching closely the way he deeply inhales with view panning over your devious actions toying with him.

“I just wanted you to know… what I was doing…” Finger running back down the expanse of your pussy as you look at him with flirty eyes. As much as you hate the constant needling of Harry’s character it’s hard to deny how much it draws you both together.

“But I never told you to do that.” Harry counters with sight staring longingly at you plunging your finger back in. A deep breath leaving him as his gaze goes back to your alluring face.

“Harry…” Drawing out his name pouting and purposely fluttering your lashes as your feet continue to roam up his thigh.

“Still calling me that?” His smile fading as he sits up on the couch, chest leaning towards you and licking his lips.

“Ugh, Mr. Styles.” Moaning dramatically as your shoulders slouch a bit. The game being played is beginning to grow tiresome and honestly you’ll do anything for him to just take you then and there. “You’re making this so difficult for me.” Toe running back down the expanse to sway his knee. The happy glint in your eye is what has Harry feening, his body moving closer towards you as he continues to rub himself.

As much as he should be harsher on you for not saying his dominant name, he lets you get away with it because hearing you whine and whimper his actual one turns him on more than anything at this moment. He hasn’t heard you call his name in so long and just hearing it falling from your lips has his heart singing a different tune.

“I am?” Harry remarks, smirk tugging across his features as you nod your head with your own grin widening.

“Yes, I just want you to fuck me.” Huffing with finger pulling out to thrust back in once again. Creamy velvet walls accept the skinny finger effortlessly as nostrils flare in annoyance. The position you’re propped up in is incredibly sexy; neck on display, pussy slick and mouth dropped open saying the most promiscuous of things. It makes Harry lean off the couch completely, his hand leaving his cock to collect your thigh and position you further down the table.

“Use me.” Sight flickering between his hand collecting his cock to gaze connecting where your touch slips out of your pussy and greets him rubbing between your lips.

“Play with me, just how you like.” Voice wavering as your mouth wobbles open to expel another whine of frustration when the crown of him runs over your clit.

“Want you you to treat me like your toy.” Brow arching as your head leans forward watching the way he heavily inhales.

“I can do whatever you want and more, baby.” Harry responds with breath falling across your cupid bows as his hips draw back to slowly run down your soaked pussy, such sensual actions has your knees move closer towards his tantalizing hips with an obvious shiver racking through, he laughs lightly at the reaction he has over you.

“Please?” Shoulders slink back as his chest becomes parallel with yours, lips catching onto each other and spine carefully balancing you on the table as you whisper pathetically. “Please?” Asking again, all quiet and sweet just how he likes as he leans back and his head dips shallowly in your fingered hole. Lashes flutter deliciously at the sensation roaming as the pads of your fingers feel over wet skin that glistens with moisture. “Please?” Voice cracked and barely audible as your mouth falls open in awe of Harry’s cock spreading you out just the way you like.

The tight feel of your soiled walls expand around him as he thrust into your pussy, it has Harry moan heavenly along your lips. Emotions high off the sensations you provide that it makes his head sway, nose brushing along your temple with breath floating along your cheek; the feeling enveloping him is as if a long forgotten addiction, one that he doesn't want to quit again, not when it’s like this.

His neck rotates allowing wet kisses to float along your skin, his eyes rolling arousingly as his hips sink into yours. The snug fit that encases him allows a hearty grunt to vibrate through his chest to float amongst yours is a reminder that you both hold together like a puzzle piece, the perfect fit that has both of you pleased at the euphoric tingle raking through.

“Fuck Harry.” Your hand slipping away from between your legs to feel along his biceps. Head leaning back and sight blurry with the amount of arousal coursing through.

“I missed your pussy so much.” He moans into your ear so heavenly that your stomach drops. He knows just what to say to have your mind in the gutter and your pussy a sobbing mess.

Creamy discharge cascades along throbbing veins, crown breaching your hole before plunging back in allowing your folds to stretch and accept the thick cock of Harry. It has you crying out pitifully with nails digging into skin and toes tangling together, he only just entered and you’re already delirious.

His strokes, his touch, his breath fanning across your skin as he fucks you into the table has your mind reeling and waist twitching. The hand balancing yourself against the table runs along the wings of his back, touch trailing from the wide muscle spread to collect his neck and direct his attention back to your mouth.

Tongues twist and tangle together, spit echoing in the space as dedicated thrusts continue to pleasure the aching depths of your body only consumed of Harry. All those nights left alone and mornings greeted with disheveled covers, it all ignites the passion that has you both sloppily moaning into the kiss, rushing as if your time apart is still so sparse.

“I love your cock.” You can’t help but confess, fingers feeling over his chin as you moan against his lips.

“Mhmm…” Harry hums with eyes low and chest shining with sweat. His hands nestled by your thighs holding you there tightens as his thrusts begin to pick up. “Keep going baby, tell me more.” Taunting against your lips while his sight continues to look over your body jerking up the table.

“Feels so good inside me.” You moan, eyes peering up at him all doe as your nails scratch up his skin.

“Alway fuck me so good sir.” Blinking at him as head bobs with each assault, spine curving even further into his chest as your mouth parts letting a moan escape.

“God, I missed you so much.” You mumble drunk off the emotions trickling up your spine. Harry knows just how to fuck you; slow, deep, and rough. It’s like the first time he slipped in and already could tell how you wanted to be treated, how he knew just by the look in your eye to the moan falling from your lips, he knew.

“That’s right baby,” Harry hums adored by the words slipping into the air. He watches your view fall to where you both link, his teeth revealing themselves as he bites his lip and releases one of his hands to hold your neck, such excessive force being brought to have you look at your pussy being filled up.

“Watch me while I fuck you,” He says while rocking his hips and tighting his grip around your skin. The delicious moan that flows out of your throat makes his heart grow warm and pelvis stutter in pleasure at the erotic sound.

And you do exactly what’s told, you watch his cock glimmer in the soft light as he pulls out just to slide back in effortlessly on repeat. Muscled limps flexing with each stroke, calves clenching around his thighs as you fall into the pulsating rhythm. There was only so much longer you could endure Harry fucking you like this before you become every emotion running through.

One hand drags down his arm while the other feels along his fingers holding down your body, touch linking on top of him as a gasp draws from your lips not only feeling the heavy thickness of him filling you up completely but watching his waist sink against yours. Discharge lying in every crevice of your pussy as he plunges in enticingly each time as your mind spins at such a lewd sight.

“You’re so pretty… letting me fuck you like this…”

Voice heard over head as you continue to watch him fuck you relentlessly. Butterfly tattoo glistening, thighs outstretched accepting every thrust as your stomach quivers at the words floating into the air. Your neck twists uncomfortably in his hold with eyes straining as you look between his cock and him.

Unruly curls push back, forest vision dark and unsettling as he continuously attacks your pussy. Breathless grunts floating along your forehead, his grip tightens even more watching you fight to keep your sight on him. The view of you enthralled by such pleasure has his body cower deeper into yours.

“Fuck.” Harry moans, his head tilting to the side as he feels you twitch around him. That feeling alone prepares him for the introduction of your climax.

Plump lips drop open, nails digging into his knuckles as your toes curl and mouth elects delicious moans to trail out of your throat.

“Mr. Styles… I’m gonna…” Not even able to finish your sentence as your pelvic clenches and releases uncontrollably. Eyes blinking slowly overcoming with uncontrollable shocks raking through your body as sight is still caught on his cock fucking you to the point your thighs shake against his hold.

“Yeah, baby. I know you’re comin,” Harry murmurs, hand releasing from your neck to hold you up and lean down to watch arousal sweep across your face. “Feel so good.” He eggs on as squirms begin to flutter along your walls and have his hips stuttering once more. From the tightness wrapped around him to the feeling of your orgasm vibrating throughout, Harry can’t help but lean down and capture your lips which only has you shivering even more. The signature taste of him to the lightning ticking up your spine, you’re not able to control yourself only allowing Harry’s touch keeps your body held down as if nothing, continuing to fuck you through your high.

The pinching euphoric feeling punctures every emotion consumed by him. Ears ringing, knees buckling against hips with toes curling into each other letting your climax ring through and leave your body numb.

“Look baby,” Harry whispers, his chest pulling away to see where you both meet to look at how much your arousal has spread between two bodies. “So pretty for me.” He continues as his strokes calm down and allows you to regain your breath, his sight watching over you heavily as you begin to relax.

“Mmm Mr. Styles,” You hum incoherent as you watch your juices flow along the erect skin of him as he thrusts back in. “Always fuck me so good.” You mumble before your sight is staring back up at him with lip between your teeth.

Harry can’t help but sigh pleasantly at your words, his sight flickering between your glistening pussy and needy eyes, he leans down once more. Bruised flesh linking together to exchange in a sloppy kiss fueled by the stuttering squirms that remind him how much pleasure he brings you. How the words you just breathed correlate to your pussy throbbing around him.

Tongues link messily as touch roams loosely amongst bodies in the room driven by the burning passion that brews within this relationship. Both of you feeling over each other as if starved by one's presence, lips sucking as if greedy to the way you taste amongst each other, moans and whimpers mix between muscles roaming and teeth nipping at skin, the emotions expelling only further intensify the love.

“Harry,” You breathe with eyes peeling open and fingers dragging down clammy red streaked skin. “I wanna ride you.”

Words fanning across his lips softly as he nods once; touch dragging over your thighs to carefully pull out and let his grip tighten around your waist. He effortlessly picks you up at the same time making a giggle fall from your lips at the rough movements. Arms link around his shoulders as he sits back on the couch, your knees on either side of him with pussy directly parallel to his dick. One hand pulling away from him to slip between both bodies to grip his length direct him back in.

“I love the way you fill me up.” Nose pressed against his watching the way his eyes sparkle from your compliment to your walls seeping around him once more. “Fill me up so good baby.” Buttering him up with compliments as your hips press amongst his waist completely sink down on him before sore thighs rise up carefully to let your hips circle back down.

“Don’t you like how I feel, Mr. Styles.” You continue, gaze roaming over his physique lying amongst the couch examining your moving body that sends ripples of pleasure through him. His arm rests along the frame as the other roams from your hips to your thighs, caressing the soft skin before he’s helping your sinful movements by holding down your calf.

“Mm, sir?” Asking while pecking his lips sweetly before letting it flow down the expanse of his neck. Baccarat Rouge flooding your nose as flesh presses wetly into his skin, body still moving seductively as low moans escape along your back. You know he loves how you feel, but it sparks something deeper within when you hear his quiet groans replaced for an answer.

It’s why your hips continue to swivel and pick up in paste, your hands leaving their respective spots to lightly drag across his skin to meet them by his broad shoulders. Just the feel of the tough muscles under his skin and scent cocooning around, it has you whimpering into him, your head leaning back towards his mouth.

Delicate kisses press against his lips and suck every grunt and moan that falls into the space. Every touch and motion is dedicated to pleasing him with waist never stopping its tantalizing movements. Thick cock stretching you out, crown tagging your cervix with each descent having thighs sound together; you’re in heaven at such emotions.

“Fuck, baby.” Harry groans, his hand leaving your calf to place a harsh smack amongst your ass. “Keep doing that.” Touch falling to your hips and guiding your circling ones that makes his head knock back into the frame.

His long lashes add a shadow amongst his under eyes as they close blissfully in a trance over your pussy and how you work him amazingly. He’s never experienced something like this before; such enchanting movements gracing his cock as if it took little work, as if it’s so easy to have him obsessed with all that you do.

“I love you, baby.” He moans with head leaning forward and sight opening back up to see your sweaty skin and alluring hips. “Fuck, I love you so much.” His hand along the couch leaving to take your hip in his hold.

And to that you’re beaming at his words, a flirty smile toying at the ends of your lips as you continue to caress the skin of his shoulders.

“I love you too.” You respond sincerely, but that proclamation doesn’t register for Harry as his eyes roll and grip tightens even more against your skin. Having your pussy encase him all wet and tight. He’s trying to control himself, he really is, but the way you smell, taste, feel. He’s going crazy.

His hand leaves your backside and grips the other side of your waist, touch controlling your movements from rushed circles to calm and controlled ones that makes another moan leave him.

“Yeah, you like my pussy sir?” Voice seductive as you lean back and let your fingers trail along the couch cushions. “Like the way I feel?” Stomach filling with butterflies as you see his head sway and an audible whisper trail out. “Huh, Mr. Styles? You like the way I ride your cock?” Taunting him even more to the point his grip continues to clench and unclench around your hips only telling you that he’s about to do.

Breath fanning across his face as your eyes grow heavy to the way he’s manipulating your motions.

“Fuck, Harry.” You moan, eyes closing as he directs you to trail up the expanse of his dick until his head escapes before letting your hips drop back and take him. “Mm… I want you to fill me up, sir.”

Slow motions sway your head into the crane of his neck as your fingers curl into the metal frame of the couch. You weren’t in control of your movements anymore, it was all Harry. His biceps flexing as he lefts you up as if nothing, as if getting a good workout in as he plays with his toy. It was incredibly hot how he can just toss you around with little effort, how you really are just his doll whenever needed.

Gentle kisses roam down the expense of him as pitiful whines leave your throat. Your walls flexing repetitively as Harry plunges back in each time dragging out higher pitched moans. You’re crying into his neck pent up with so many sensations but can do very little because of his grip over your body.

“Want you to come in me baby, fill me up… please?” Whispering sweetly in the clammy space as your eyes flutter slowly, body continuing to follow his heavy motions. “Mr. Styles.” Muttering against his skin as your feet slip amongst the couch only adding more noise in the passionate atmosphere.

And it’s as if the crack in your tone sends him over the edge; his thighs still against yours as touch halts and milky seed spills into your pussy. It’s warm and heavy, swishing lucidly throughout the snug fit as you begin to circle your hips against him.

“Fuck…” Harry draws out with head leaning back and touch rubbing your skin along his palms. A simple gesture so small and reassuring that you’re floating your love across his jaw to below his chin.

“I love you.” You breathe against his skin as you feel the premature growth of stubble gracing across your lips reminding you of how much you’ve missed him. “And I love the way you fill me up.”

Waist shallowy continues their alluring position as Harry neck rolls and hands trail away from your hips to grab your ass. Fingers drawing away from the couch frame and collecting his neck to hold. Without a second thought your lips are slipping onto his and moaning happily at the taste.

You want to bask in this moment forever the way his touch floats across your skin to his breath fanning along your cupids bow. It was the most precious thing and you just want it to last forever.

“Baby,” You sigh against his lips as your waist completely stops. Harry hums in response at the same time his head leans forward to dot more kisses against you.

“Let’s clean ourselves up. Hmm… doesn’t that sound nice?” You ask as your nails gently scratch the skin behind his neck.

“Anything you want, princess.” Harry mumbles with eyes still closed and grip still eagerly feeling over feverish skin.

And that’s how the night ends; bodies cleaning up after yourselves before reheating the forgotten meal in the dining room. You both sat on the couch and lied across each other appreciating the other's presence unknown when it’ll ever be like this again.

[writingsfromhome]

If you Love Something

A/N: this has been an idea sitting in my drafts for a while. You and Harry had a brief but intense relationship as teenagers, were forced to make a serious decision then, and it’s aftereffects have lingered for the rest of your lives. It deals with some heavier topics so read with caution (alcoholism, depression, unwanted pregnancy etc). I’d describe it as sad but hopeful.

Part 2

—————————————

Age 17.

It started in secret. We’d found each other on the roof of a house party. Truth be told, I saw him sneak out of the window where people were crowded around the TV watching some controversial music video I hadn’t heard about. And I’d followed.

I knew who Harry was. Had him in English, Maths, and Biology last year. He was well spoken, thoughtful, and silly. I never spoke to him once though. Only admired him from afar.

Tonight I had my first drink and then another. I was feeling buzzed and despite being painfully shy for most of the time I’d known everyone here, I was suddenly gripped by the realization that we were approaching the last year we would all be together. Why had I waited this long to pursue someone I thought was cute?

I snuck out after him, when my friends weren’t looking. I even tilted the window more closed than usual so no one would suspect anything; I had the attic room at home so I knew how to maneuver the angled roof to get comfortable.

“You need any help?” Harry’s voice is clear in the silence.

“I’m alright.” I stand up to peer at him. He’s climbed near the top.

“Sure? You don’t seem steady.”

“Oh I’m steady,” I prove it to him by climbing up to where he was. “See?”

“I’m mistaken. My bad.” He holds out a hand to help me sit beside him and the night sky flashes brighter for an instant when I grasp his hand. My stomach is in knots.

“Harry. Styles.” I don’t know why I say his full name but I was nervous.

He repeats my full name back to me. I don’t know why I’m surprised he knows it. It’s not like we went to a big school.

“What brings you out here?”

I try to be bold about it, “You?”

“Party was getting too much.” He says. I stare at him in confusion while he complains about something his friends had gotten up to.

I replay my answer and realized it sounded like I’d skipped answering his question and asked the question back. Bugger.

“You know my name.” I interrupt him, forgetting he was telling me a story. Awkward.

“Yeah? Of course I do.”

“We’ve never talked.”

“We talked. Once in Maths. We had to grade each other’s answers.”

Oh yeah. I burn when I remember the 4/10 he’d given me with a smiley face saying that maths was masochistic.

“Barely.”

“I know you though,” he says with a softness that makes my heart stutter.

“Do you?” I look to him, resting my chin on my shoulder. He gazes down at me and I swear I could taste the colours around us.

His eyes draw me deeper as he inches closer. Was he going to kiss me? Oh my god.

I look back out to the roof and he jerks away. Omg.

“I do.”

“Oh,” I don’t know what to do after that awkward moment.

“I know you’re really quiet and shy but your smile is so loud you can see it from across the room.” He says and my breath catches as he continues. “You’re yourself with your friends, you really like Harry Potter and field hockey. You would kill Mal Adams if you could get away with it and you hate Maths just as much as you love art. You’re dating Oli Graves but your smile is only ever shining half as bright when you’re around him. Can I go on?”

I stop breathing completely halfway through his declaration of knowing me. All this time I had my eye on him, I didn’t know he was watching me too.

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion on my relationship.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t give you one either.”

I glare at him. He was right. He smiles knowing he was. I’m mad that I’m not mad at him. That he was right.

“What are you doing with a guy like that?”

Oli and I had been dating for 7 months now. He was loud and fun in a way I wish I could be. That’s why I liked him so much. That’s why I was at a party like this to begin with.

“He’s a good guy.”

“That’s all?” He asks. I look over but he’s looking up at the sky. I follow his gaze and get lost in the great expanse of nighttime.

“I think you deserve someone who sees you. Don’t you?”

“Did Ally see you?” I ask with a hint of aggression I didn’t mean to have.

“Ally and I broke up during Easter. So there’s your answer.” He’s unbothered.

“Well what do you want?” I ask.

“Right now? Or in life?”

I shrug. “Both?”

“I want to explore the world and meet all kinds of people. I wanna make the world a better place by being in it. It’s cheesy as shit so if you ever said I said this I’ll deny it and you’ll look like-“

“My lips are sealed.” I turn his way to promise him that. It makes me laugh at how serious he looks saying it all and when I do his face relaxes.

“You laugh is nice too. I forgot to mention that.”

That quiets me very quickly.

“And right now,” he continues. “I’d really like to kiss you.”

My ears ring. Did I hear him right? Could you get so drunk you hallucinate? I swear the cold air had sobered me-

“Did you hear what I said?” Harry’s moved in closer to me. Did I? I don’t know.

“What d-“

“I’d like to kiss you.”

I nod, afraid to talk and realize I’d hallucinated him saying that.

The world melts away when he kisses me. It’s tender, nothing like Oli and his jagged pushy kissing. In the nighttime air it’s warm, and soft, and easy.

“I know you,” Harry says when we part. I’d nearly climbed into his lap and I try to edge away, embarrassed, but he keeps a hand firm on my thigh.

“I know you too Harry,” I breathe. He smiles and it crinkles his luscious eyes.

I think I was falling.

***

We keep it a secret after I break up with Oli. For months, until mid-August when I invite him over for dinner after my mom insists on meeting “the boy I was all doe-eyed over”. The night with my family goes so well—Harry is the picture of a courteous gentleman that even my sister is swayed by him despite saying boys were gross. I ask him to hang out, in public, the next day. He doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

That’s what I love about Harry—yes love. He’s not pushy, he lets me go at my own pace. He respects me and sees me for everything I am and loves me anyway. I wanted to spend my whole life with him.

It was so intense and relaxed at the same time. It felt like no relationship I’d been in before. I felt different being with him, even my friends noticed.

When final year started, Harry and I were official but we didn’t flaunt it. We didn’t need to. My friends knew about us and they were happy for us, they told me I was more me. Whatever that meant.

Life was phenomenal and I was living in a dusky haze. Nothing could touch us.

Until one day in February. I was out with my sister, mum didn’t want to take her out and since I recently got my driver’s license with plenty of lessons from Harry, I was driving her to the mall. She needed Valentine’s Day cards.

“I thought you said love is stupid.” I remind her on the way.

“It is.”

“So why the hell am I driving you to buy cards for a made up holiday?”

“Because!” She crosses her arms and stares out the window. I flick her arm at a red light.

“You have a crush.”

“I do not!”

“Do too. Who is it? James? Mattie? Hamid?”

“Ew! They’re freaks.” My sister continues staring out the window.

“Why do you want to buy cards so bad!?”

“I just want them! For my friends!”

“Okay then,” I didn’t believe her. But I couldn’t bring her home crying or mum would ground me.

A lot of places have slim pickings. Wandering the aisle of Waterstones I catch sight of a family friend. She was my dad’s uni friend’s daughter, a few years older than me but by the time I got to secondary she had dropped out after getting pregnant. I remember the buzz when everyone found out.

I avoid her and find an aisle to occupy myself.

Harry and I were always careful, mum had already given me the talk and he never pressured me to do anything I didn’t. I imagine Harry as a dad. He would make a good one I think.

As one thought leads to another I go cold as I realize something. My last period was during the holidays.

I feel like I’m walking in a swarm of locusts as I walk to the edge of the aisle, scanning for my sister. Maybe I can pop into a pharmacy before she’s done. Maybe…

This was crazy. It was probably just a missed period.

But if it isn’t, another voice asks. I felt it in my gut. I had to do this.

I don’t remember getting home. I don’t remember anything about the rest of that day except two faint lines, and then two faint lines again, and a third time. I fall asleep before dinner that night and shut the world out.

***

“I know something’s wrong.” Harry’s walking me home after school. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’d been nothing but sweet. He bought me chocolates, flowers, and we planned to cook dinner together after school. I had bought him chocolates too, and had written him a heartfelt note with a bunch of photos of us weeks ago. The box was in my room, waiting for tonight. “Do you not like the flowers? Or is it dinner? We can go out somewhere instead?”

“No everything’s lovely.” I’d never heard Harry this desperate before. It gets under my skin even though part of me knows that’s not really it. But having him hover over me all week trying to figure out what was wrong was too much.

I’d spent every night this week with a hand over my belly. Thinking about it. I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I can think of was Jenny and I didn’t want that life. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother.

“Please. What’s the matter.” Harry asks again, tugging at my hands but I pull them away.

“I just need some space!” I shout and he flinches. “I’m sorry Harry. I just need space right now.”

“Right now like…” he scratches his head. “I don’t get you. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’ve been talking about this day for weeks what do you mean you want space?”

“I can’t do this right now. Please.”

“Are you-are we…”

“I’m not breaking up with you.” I look at Harry with tears in my eyes, I didn’t want to cry out here. But every time I look at him I remember the reality. What’s growing inside me. I can’t take it. “I just can’t do today.”

I go inside my house. Leave him without further explanation. I feel awful, I can’t hold the tears in long enough to get to my room.

***

“Hey love?” My mum and dad knock on my door at half past 5. I lay in the dark, having cried myself dry. “We’re worried about you. Can we talk.”

“I can’t.” I say, voice stuffy.

“I thought you and that boyfriend of yours had plans,” dad says. He liked Harry but he rarely called him by his name. “Did something happen?”

“No!” I wanted them to leave me alone. “I just. I had to cancel. I’m fine.”

“Don’t sound fine to me love,” I feel the mattress dip as mum sits down. Dad strokes my hair. They whisper something I can’t hear and a pair of footsteps pad out of my room.

���Mum just leave me alone.” I try again.

“I’m not.” She pushes me further into my bed and leans down, tugging my blanket down. When I finally look at her she smiles kindly and kisses my forehead. That fills me up enough to start wailing again. “Oh love, what’s wrong?”

“Everything!” I sob into my blanket. Mom lays down beside me and I let myself be cradled like a child. God, I had a child. This was so fucked.

“Talk to me. We can figure it out together.”

I don’t know how my parents would react. They were never particularly strict, especially after what happened with Jenny I remember them always being sympathetic. We even visited her in hospital with a gift.

Mum strokes my hair and whispers that it’ll be okay. Slowly my sobbing eases into light sniffles. I had to tell her. She would know what to do. And if she hated me for it, I would just have to deal with it.

“Mum don’t be mad-“

“I won’t honey I-“

“No. Mum.” I cut her off. She moves back on the pillow so she can see my whole face, moving a strand of hair so I couldn’t hide. “Something…messed up. Happened. And…I was careful. We were always careful I don’t know what happened but I-“

I watch her face changed. Like she knew. She knew what was coming but she waits patiently as I muster up the courage to say the words that felt too real once I said them.

“Mum I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip. What was she thinking? Was she crying for me or with me? Why wasn’t she saying anything!?

“Mum-“

“C’mere.” She wraps me in her embrace again and kisses the top of my head. My body feels drained and limp. I finally told somebody. It was real. This living thing inside of me was real.

“What happened?” She asks next. And I tell her what I think happened. When. How I found out. She listens, holding my hand in hers. When I’m done and it’s poured out of me she smiles supportively. “This isn’t a bad thing okay? It’s okay. Any decision you make is up to you. I’ll talk to your dad but just know you call the shots okay? I love you.”

This is what carries me. The love.

She asks me it I told Harry yet and I tell her the truth. She urges me to tell him. I tell her I wanted to so bad but I was scared.

She leaves shortly after that, I hear her talking softly outside my room. Nobody calls me for dinner until 7, a soft knock on my door. My sister would never be so soft, I assume it’s dad so I tell him to come in. I was scared to face him.

It’s Harry instead.

“Harry!” I cover my splotchy face with my blanket, why was he here? Did mum invite him? This was soo embarrassing.

My heart pounds and Harry is silent until he takes a seat where mum had previously been.

“I came over, your mum invited me. She explained.”

She did what? For a moment I feel betrayed.

“She said you weren’t doing so well. Stressed? I could make you some tea if you’d like. But I told you y/n, you’ll get into unis. You don’t have to worry so…”

I sigh. Mum had told him a half-truth. But he had come. Of course he had.

I couldn’t even think about uni right now because that lead me down a road of what if I couldn’t go because I had a baby. And that life felt so bleak it made me depressed.

“Harry.” I inch my blanket down a little and his eyes go round when he looks at me.

“You look…awful.”

“I know.” I cover my face with my hair but he brushes it away and kisses my forehead.

“No. I’m worried about you. I brought dinner-“

“Oh Harry.” I spot the bag he brought with him.

“I made it all for us. With my mum’s help but mostly me. I packed it to bring to you.”

I didn’t deserve him. And I had to tell him. And he was going to break up with me. What high school boy wanted a child?

“Harry it’s not uni.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I was carrying another living thing. It was the size of a seed but I was carrying it inside me. Like a living breathing pot. I was a potted plant.

“Then what is it?” His brows crinkle. “Is it us?”

“No!” I rush to tell him. “I…I don’t know how to say this. And I don’t know how you’re going to react but it’s okay either way.”

“What are you talking about?” His hands slide up my lap. “What is it?”

“Harry. I’m um, I’m pregnant.”

I watch him freeze and stay exactly how he is, his brows pinch ever so slightly. I knew this look. He looked still on the outside but his mind was racing. And I was scared what was racing through it.

“Pregnant?”

“Yeah. From…the holidays.”

“How did-I thought we-“

“I guess it’s not foolproof.” I whisper. Mum had told me to go on the pill, and I hadn’t listened because all my friends told me it made them gain weight. If only I had listened. Now I was gaining weight anyway.

“What are we going to do?” He asks next. And I never realized six little words could weigh the world. If I could cut those words out and surgically implant them into my heart I would. Just to remind me the equal parts relieved and comforted they made me.

I hold his face in my hands, new tears springing to my eyes. He was in this. With me.

He kisses me and pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shirt again and he holds me so tight I swear I could break.

“I don’t know if I can keep it Harry,” I finally whisper to him.

His hands fist in my shirt, he holds his breath and after a long minute he lets me go with it.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Was he really okay with all this?

“It’s…I can’t make you keep it.”

“You’d want to keep it?” I couldn’t believe it.

“It’s…” he swallows his sentence and keeps his gaze on my stomach. I tug his hand and lay it over it. When his eyes meet mine I see a hint of heartbreak. We were going to break our hearts either way I think.

Not once did I think he might want to keep it.

“It’s okay.” Harry finally says. “We’re so young right? How would we keep a baby and go to school, and do everything we always talk about?”

“Yeah I don’t…I don’t know.”

“I love you.” He says with such a sudden passion. I wrap my arms around his and return the sentiment.

Eventually we lay down and just talk about everything. Truthfully, my head was telling me not to keep the baby but everything else felt dead thinking about it.

Maybe that’s why it took me until April to finally make a decision. It was the size of a plum by then, and a tiny bump was starting to show but only when I stood naked in front of the mirror. With clothes on, nobody was the wiser. But the longer I kept it, I think the more Harry fell in love with it. The idea of it.

We have a long talk during our Easter holiday. We talked in my bedroom until the sun comes up. I tell him I was sure of my decision.

I’d gotten accepted to Cambridge by then. Harry was staying in London. We knew it wasn’t feasible. To live the life we always wanted, we had to get rid of this new life we never knew could happen.

I don’t know why but I don’t tell him the day I go to do it. I go with my mum. Mum drops my sister off at school—she didn’t know. Mum said she had a big mouth.

We drive in silence. When we park mum asks how I feel.

“Sad.” It was the truth. I knew this was right. But it felt like shite.

“Yeah.” She rubs my hands. “Want to go in?”

“I just want to sit here for a bit.” I tell her.

“Okay. I’ll go sign you in.”

She takes my purse and hers and leaves me there. I take the moment to ground myself. Say goodbye to the other future.

When mum knocks on my window I jump.

“Yn? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m coming in.” I open the door.

“You know you’ve been sitting here half hour?”

I pause, one leg out the door and one still in. “I…I must have got lost in my head. Sorry mum-“

“Look. Do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know…I have to.”

“There are other options love-“

“But how can I give it up and live my whole life like that?”

“We can help raise her. You can go on and live your life-“

“I’d be a horrible mother.” Mum and I had this row so many times before. It always ended in me storming away but I couldn’t here.

“You don’t need to make the decision today.”

“But I do.” I tell her. “Otherwise it’ll drive me insane.”

I tuck both feet back into the car and rest my hand on my belly. I’d allowed myself to do that only in my room, when I was alone. Doing it out here made it feel even more real. Suddenly I couldn’t imagine going through with the decision.

“I can’t do this.” I tell my mum.

She smooths my hair down and kisses my temple. My door closes and a few seconds later she climbs in beside me.

“Think about it.”

“I can’t. But I can’t keep it either.”

“Okay.” Mum pulls me into her and I think I should cry but I can’t. I’m calm, maybe I know I’d made the right decision. Or just a decision. I was going to stick to this.

“I can’t raise it. I’m just a child I…maybe someone out there wants a baby and can’t have one maybe-“

“I’ll look into it for you.” Mum promises. “You set the rules remember?”

And that’s how it goes. Mum looks into it, we decide to go for adoption. We go to the hospital on the first warm day of the year. By then I’d taken to wearing jumpers over flowy dresses and been thankful for the first time in my life that I wasn’t skinny like other girls. At most angles you couldn’t tell my belly was so perfectly round.

By then too, Harry had accepted the decision. He seemed relieved. Thinking aloud he’d said maybe he could raise it, but quickly turned around when I asked him what he’d do about uni.

“Someone out there can take care of it better than us. Someone will love the baby like we do.”

During the summer, I tell all my friends I was staying with family in midlands. And I do go up there, that’s where the couple who was adopting lived. Harry and I meet them with my mum and his. It’s awkward, we run out of conversation fast. But their house is big and they already have a 2 year old from an adoption last year. My baby was going to be loved here. And have a sibling.

“We did want to discuss one last thing,” they’d said before we left. We all listen intently. “We…find it best when it’s a no contact adoption. We’ve had a lot of friends who keep contact open and it gets messy-“

“What?” I hadn’t really thought about this until now. Hearing I’d have to give the baby up and go on like it didn’t exist felt wrong. Harry’s hand slips into mine.

“This is typical,” Harry’s mum says from his side. “Let’s hear it out.”

“Right. So just to prevent future complications, we do no contact. Of course when baby’s older and wants to seek out the real parents we can’t stop them. But until then…”

“Thank you.” My mum steps in when it goes silent. I could hardly wrap my head around what they were saying. When it gets older?

Pretty soon mum is ushering me out and Harry’s hand is still clutching mine. We don’t let go until we reach my Uncle’s where we were staying until August. The baby was due in September. I was going to miss the first week of class.

“I can’t do this.” I tell them later. “How can we just have no contact.”

“I thought you knew.” Mum says. “I explained that some parents want this when they adopt.”

She might have. Ever since I hit the third trimester like my doctor said, I’ve had a hard time listening and understanding what someone was saying after they spoke too long. I was glad school was done—for obvious reasons, but also for not having to sit in a class and learn.

“We have no other choice.” Harry says from beside me. He rubs my back and slowly, I zone back into the conversation. “We can find another family but they might want the same thing.”

“What if the baby never looks for us?” I turn to him, our heads press against the other’s. “What if we go our whole lives just wondering?”

“What’s the other option?” Harry whispers. He was right. I just didn’t want to get it.

Acceptance slowly creeps into me over the course of the summer. It was always hot carrying another person around, I was always hungry and thirsty, and very cranky. Harry came up to see me every other weekend when he could, mum stayed with me and that summer was one I could never forget.

It was September 1st, a particularly hot day. Rain fell in the afternoon and by the time the unforgiving sun set, the cool air was heavenly.

I sat by the bedroom window, moisturizing my belly like mum had shown me, talking to the baby. I wrote it a letter last week all about me, that I loved them and hoped the best for them. I told the baby about my family, how Harry and I met, and then I sealed it in an envelope with a picture of Harry and me. It was taken last Halloween when we’d both dressed up as each other. I tell mum to give it to the new parents. In case the day came the baby wondered about who we were.

As I spoke softly, I felt a gush of something wet down my leg.

“What?” I stand up, confused. “I…”

It takes me a second. I was going into labour.

“Mum!” I shout. “Mum! Come here!”

She rushes in and confirms it. It was happening.

“But it’s supposed to be next week!” I try not to panic but that’s all I can do as mum grabs our things and my aunt rushes to the car. “Does this mean something’s wrong? Is the baby o-“

I freeze as a contraction forces me to fold. I’d felt the kicking and the nausea and everything in between but these. These were a bitch.

Somehow we make it to hospital. Somehow I lay on a bed and push when the doctor tells me to. I nearly pass out. I just wanted Harry here with me. He didn’t know his kid was being born.

With a final push that felt like I was ascending my body and leaving it behind, I hear a wail and I cry. The baby was out, they cried and everything was okay.

“Okay congratulations mummy,” a nurse crouches down to me. “We’re going to clean you and baby up. She’s healthy and looks okay.”

“What?” I can barely see with my hair in my face and the nurses around me. It was a she? I had a baby girl?

We were never told the gender, so we wouldn’t get attached. But I had a baby girl. The nurse just called me mum.

I feel the tears on my cheeks, I was crying too. I try to look around me but a new nurse is talking in hushed voices to the doctor.

“…outside…call…adoption…shouldn’t or….contact-“

“What’s going on?” I can barely get the words out. “What?”

“Oh my love,” suddenly mum’s in the room and things are a bit better. A bit better.

“Mum what’s going on?”

“The baby’s born. The parents are outside they’re going to meet her soon.”

“What?” I look at mum’s face and it’s shining with tears. Why was she crying?

“Oh she’s beautiful love, she’s perfect. But your job’s done now. You should rest.”

“Mum,” I cry. “Where is she? Can’t I hold her?”

“No love,” mum moves my hair out of my face. I feel something break in half inside of me. I couldn’t even hold the baby? The baby girl? Mine and Harry’s baby girl?

“Why? Mum why? I just want to see her-“

“I’m sorry,” mum says through tears. “It’s just the way it is. She’s going to a loving home okay? She’s good. You’re okay.”

I can’t stop crying. I was going to lose her last April and I stopped that but I lost her anyway. My baby, I was never going to see her.

I remember when my sister was born. I was 5 and I was angry she’d taken the attention away. But when I saw her with her perfect toes and angel face I was obsessed with her. I even remember her first steps, she’d taken them at a park with mum and dad and me together. I was never going to know these things about my own baby. I was never going to know her.

I must pass out soon after. I remember waking up to the nurses instructing me about something. I’m half asleep and barely remember what I did when I get up. When I do wake it’s morning and there’s a figure on the chair beside me.

“You’re up.”

Harry. Relief washes over me knowing he’s here.

“Harry they took her,” I tell him.

“I know. I know yn.”

I move aside and he crawls into bed with me. I must look disgusting but he watches me with love brimming in his eyes. I can tell he’s been crying.

“I feel empty,” I whisper. Like someone had carved me out like a pumpkin. Something I’d had with me all year was gone. “How can I just move on? Start uni and all that when I…they just took her.”

“I keep thinking that.” Harry says. “Khalil invited me to a party to meet some blokes from uni and I just sat in my car the whole time. I couldn’t even go in. She…she was never going to be ours.”

“I feel awful.” I burrow into his neck as he strokes my hair. “A baby girl.”

“A baby girl,” Harry echoes.

***

I head to uni a week later. My body still feels like it fought a war and lost. It’s like it still thinks there’s a baby there. I produce milk for a few days, continue to have contractions, my belly is saggier than usual and I can’t stop crying about everything.

My dad drops me off to uni. He tells me he was proud of me, that I was always his baby girl. I cry then just like I cried at home when I said bye to mum, or when my sister hugged me which she never does. I can’t stop crying.

When I move into my dorm I feel like a completely different person than I thought I was going to be. My dormmate fills me in on everything she’s learned, complains about a boy and a party and it just feels so irrelevant to me. Did I used to care about those things? I had a baby. And now I didn’t.

By October, Harry and I are in different worlds. We hadn’t broken up but we talk weekly. Each week there’s less to talk about. When I visit home in October, being around him just makes me sad. He tries to cheer me up, make it like old times, but I know he’s hurting inside too.

I decide to do the breaking up. And at first he’s angry, insisting we could make it work. He actually refuses and walks away. We don’t talk for a whole day.

But at a house party in South where his uni mates were from, he accepts the end.

Through tears we kiss each other one final time, we whisper sweet nothings, we pour into each other all the hopes and wishes we had for each other.

When he hugs me for the last time I leave something behind. It’s similar to waking up the morning after my delivery and knowing something was gone. I really feel the shape of the loss. It sits in my sternum, a hole that grows smaller with time, but not just yet.

I fall into a depressed state for most of my first semester but my dormmate doesn’t give up on me and eventually I go to my first uni party. Eventually my brain fog clears and I actually go to all my classes. Eventually my life, on the outside, looks like it could be back to normal but inside I ache with the loss. So much that it becomes part of me. I don’t know where it ends, and I begin. It lives in me.

Age 23.

“The first of many hey?” Mal clinks his bottle to mine. I barely knew Mal but we were both friends with Khalil and therefore both at his stag.

“Before you know it we’re all going down,” one of Khalil’s friends joins in. “Stag after stag, suit after suit, it’s gonna be a blur man.”

“Let’s enjoy it while we can!” Someone cheers and everyone raises their beers. I toast with a smile; blokes loved to act like being in a relationship was the last thing they wanted when I knew most of them were mush in their girlfriend’s hands.

I also smile knowing I bought an engagement ring a few weeks back. I wanted to propose to Shannon, we met on her 22 when a friend invited me along. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the birthday girl. We’d been together since.

“Who do you think’s next?” The bets start going and nobody bets on me. Everyone always thought Shan was too good for me, they were counting on us breaking up. I was going to prove them all wrong.

The night gets sloppier until we all head back to the air bnb we’d rented for this. Tomorrow we were all supposed to go play golf like we were cosplaying old money bastards when we all knew we were just broke blokes from East. But I guaranteed they’d all be too hungover. We would get to the club and just drink the hangovers away.

And I’m right. I update Shan that I’m right when the boys stay in the dining area of the club. They decide on lunch and I step out to talk to my girlfriend.

“No birds allowed this weekend,” someone pipes in when I excuse myself.

“That’s just cuz you’re miserable Eli.” I brush past as the boys laugh. At me. And him.

I catch up with Shan. It was a bright day for September and I stay a little longer after the phone ends. Shan was in med school, she was always stressed or sleep deprived. I tried to support her the best I could—right now she needed moral support that she was going to get an internship she was applying for.

“Mummy doesn’t like when I have sweets,” a small voice says to my left. I look at a father with his daughter. He’s crouched down zipping her sweater up while she rambles on.

“Well it’s going to be our secret.” The dad says. “Sundays are for sweets aren’t they?”

“I love sweets.” She responds.

The father catches my eye and I shoot him a smile.

“Her mum’s going to hear every detail when we get home,” he says as he stands. “Can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

I laugh. The way she was rambling on, I didn’t think so. “How old’s she?”

“6.” He says, smiling down at her fondly. My heart aches.

“Almost 7.” She corrects her dad.

“Birthday’s in the spring.” He says more to me. “But almost 7 sure.”

I see them leave with one more shared smile, like we’re in on something. I imagine that’s how it would feel to be a parent. Always knowing something your kid doesn’t.

My daughter was 6. Wherever she was.

Thinking about the daughter I never had, the girl I lost always leaves me a little winded. Today’s no different.

Yn and I both made an agreement and it had been the hardest thing I’d done. Letting her go. It took me a proper year to even think about moving on.

I liked to think about yn, doing everything she wanted to do. But when I thought about the baby I spiralled into a dark pit. Sometimes when I drank too much, it pulled me in too deep to get out of. That’s what Shan liked to call my depressive drinking. She’s limited me to 3 drinks since.

Before I go in I take a minute to think about yn, where she might be. I hear from friends in high school random facts about her life. But I wonder how she’s doing. If she thinks about our baby like I do. How life would have been if I’d been here, calling her on the phone instead, asking if our baby girl was doing alright.

Age 29.

I stare at the nape of the man in front of me. It couldn’t be, but I’d memorized the back of his head—amongst other things, nearly 2 decades ago and I would bet £1000 I knew who this was. But I continue staring until the cashier rings him up.

In the same voice I remember, the one from my memories and my fantasies, I hear him say: “debit.”

I wait for him to pay before saying, “Harry?”

He turns so quickly he drops his card, wallet, and keys.

“Hi!” I laugh awkwardly and crouch down to help him pick his things up. There’s an awareness that the people in the queue behind me are witness to a moment that feels more intimate than a grocery store chat and it makes me shrink a little in my shell like a spooked turtle.

“Hi I-uh,” Harry short-circuits in front of me as the bored cashier holds his receipt out and stares at him with eyes that have worked one shift too many.

“I’ll just bag-“

“Yeah we can talk later.” I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile but it feels watery. I couldn’t believe of all the places I’d run into him, it was a grocery queue. How intense in such a mundane place.

As I watch my total rise on screen I risk a glance at Harry. His hand hovers over a white reusable bag, I wonder if that was his. Or his wife’s. If they did their weekly shop in a mismatch of bags that looked like that or they were the type of couple to have a set.

His eyes are on me though, somehow here and not here. I feel the same way.

I look back to the cashier asking me how I was paying. She glances between Harry and I. I don’t look back at him. Or the growing queue a few feet away.

I take my groceries—just some items my mum asked me to pick up, and stuff them into the tote I’m wearing. Harry waits for me by the exit.

“Hi.” He says as his eyes scan my face. I do the same, taking in all the ways time had spent with him. It must have been good—he looked good. “I can’t believe-“

“A Whole Foods of all places.” I laugh. A grin splits his face but his eyes stay on me.

“That smile, that laugh. God I’ve missed you.”

“I…missed you too.” How I could miss someone I’d known for one year and then never again for nearly two decades…I didn’t realize it was possible until now.

“Are you busy?” He asks. “Maybe we can grab a drink or?”

“I don’t…drink.” I hated that I had to announce it to people. I was still at the stage where I was figuring out how to say it confidently, or find a way around saying it.

“Oh.” Harry glances down at my belly and I realize he’d misunderstood but it’s too unspoken to correct him. “Cafe?”

“Yeah. That sounds lovely.” Honestly going anywhere with him sounded lovely right now. I wanted to cancel all my plans for the day and just sit with him. Stare at him and catch up. I couldn’t believe he was here.

We walk in a comfortable but waiting silence, like taking a cold drink out to a park with the anticipation it’s going to be good , and no desperation to open it as soon as you get it.

“Usual? Tea?” Harry asks when we step into a nearby cafe. It’s big for a cafe but has enough students working on laptops to not feel empty. I nod, unsure how to feel that Harry still knows what I order at a cafe. Or that my order hasn’t changed since 17.

I find us a booth and pretty soon he’s sliding into the seat across from me. The two of us can’t stop smiling.

“Hi,” he says again.

“Hi…”

“You look good, the same but better.”

“I was going to say the same thing about you!” I exclaim. More smiling.

“How’s…I mean, how are you? How is everything? What-“

“There’s so much to ask-“

“I don’t even know how to ask what I want to know!” Harry laughs and I’m warmed from the inside out at the sound of it.

“This shouldn’t be hard!”

“No.” He scrubs his face. “I’m really buzzing that we’ve run into each other.”

“Me too. It’s a bit unbelievable.”

“I know.” He continues gripping his cup and not taking his eyes off of me. It’s the exact way he used to look at me when we were teenagers. It nearly takes my breath away. “You look good—but I already said that. Sorry.”

“No,” I laugh. “That’s all that’s running through my head.”

“Oh—I remember hearing you were engaged a few years ago-“

“Yeah.” I turn my hand so he can see the ring. “Married now. You?”

“Yeah,” he looks down at his own hand. He had so many rings on I couldn’t tell from a glance. “Coming up to 5 years now.”

“Wow. It’s only 1.5 for me but Tatum and I—my husband, we’d been since uni.”

“Took him a while.”

“Mhm,” it had been a sore subject way back then. Harry says it casually but he studies my face. I know he wants to ask more but he’ll politely maneuver around it.

“Are you happy?”

I let out a breath. “That’s more complicated than anything else you could ask!”

“Is it?”

“Yeah I-“ I shrug. “I don’t know if I am. But I also have no idea what I could do about it. So. There’s that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My stomach curdles with his words. I didn’t want pity, least of all from Harry. Harry. I can’t believe he was here. “I get it though. Everyone says your 30s are even more glorious than your 20s. We’ll see soon enough if they’re right.”

I meet his eye, they always intimidated me to look too long into. Even now, I glance back down at my drink. When I look up again he has a wry smile twisting his lips. He knew.

I was sorry to hear life hadn’t been as good for him. And then I understand, it wasn’t pity he was giving me. He truly was sorry like I.

I thought about Harry often. Of course I did. I liked to imagine him living out his dreams like he always talked about. I liked to imagine him happy and thriving.

“Do you ever think about us?” I have to ask. “If we did it all differently?”

“We would have had a 12 year old with us.”

Hearing him say it feels like someone had taken a screwdriver and opened me up. Raw and exposed. But looking at him I know he thought about her as much as I had. Both of us were apparently mourning a future neither of us had fought for.

“Yeah,” I breathe but I just sound winded.

“We were trying, at one point—Shan and I.” Harry fiddles with his ring. “Did all the tests and the trials and the shite. But no kids. It put a real strain on my relationship. I think we cracked instead of bending. And I don’t think either of us know how to make it right again.”

I grasp his hand and squeeze. “I know what that’s like. It’s hard. I…a couple years ago. I lost a baby. A baby boy. I felt like it was a punishment for-“

“Don’t.”

We hold onto each other, our drinks long forgotten. He holds my hand and it feels like being known again, like I wasn’t such an awful person. That someone could see everything I’ve done and still choose to have love for me.

“I’m sorry.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I bite my lip. With a sigh I let him go and lean back. Here we’d been so excited to bump into each other but we’d both been carrying sorrow and grief. It wasn’t very hopeful.

“So I guess you’re not drinking because you’re-“

“No.” I say, surprisingly without feeling awkward. “I’m just sober right now. Trying to figure out life without a drink.”

“Sounds like torture but I respect that. Sounds hard.”

“It was at first. I like the feeling now of thinking clearly. But I miss a glass of wine I do sometimes.”

We smile at each other.

“So do you live around here?” Harry broaches talking again after both of us had lapsed into silence for a while. I blink away the fog of the past.

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah. Shan’s out of town and I was feeling lonely. Came over to visit my sister. I’m just staying with her for the week.”

“Lucky me then.” I smile.

“Lucky me too.” He smiles back. It’s soft. We’re soft. It felt impossible to me after all this time the tenderness was still the strongest thing between us.

We chat a bit more, much about nothing. What we did for a job, anyone we still kept in touch with from school. Nothing that meant a lot.

“I need to head off now,” I say when my phone buzzes for a second time. “I was on my way to my mum’s. She keeps calling me.”

“Yeah. Don’t want to keep you.” Harry says but he stays seated. So do I.

We continue just studying the other until my phone rings again and I laugh. “It was…I really loved seeing you.”

I slide out and Harry mirrors me. I still come to his chest, he still smells the same and stands the same and looks just as handsome.

“How about uhm, how about dinner some time?” Harry asks. I knew it was coming, it’s still painful saying no.

“I…can’t. I…we can’t just do dinner, can we?”

“No,” Harry bows his head. We had too much history to just do dinner. From what he said—and I knew, both our lives were too complicated to add the allure of each other into the mix. I couldn’t do that to my life as tempted as I was. Especially not sober.

“Yeah.” He stands straight again and gives me space to head to the door. “Good seeing you. Give your mum my best if she doesn’t hate me.”

“She doesn’t.” I assure him. We stand awkwardly not sure if a kiss, a hug, or a wave was appropriate. We settle for a hug.

I remember the last time I was enveloped in his arms, tucked away into his tall frame. When we said goodbye forever, agreed to live our best lives separately. We’d both been too scarred to be anything together. Too much grief.

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” Harry smiles at me when we part.

“Maybe,” I say knowing full well I wouldn’t do groceries on the weekend anymore.

With a final wave we both part ways again, this time it doesn’t feel as much like closure.

Age 35.

“Graduation’s graduating, what a mouthful.” I say to Andie. We sit in the parking lot of a local pub back home. Both of us had avoided reunions after going to the first one 10 years ago and being reminded of how much people liked to remind you of who you used to be. But this year Andie found out an old flame was going and single. And this is the first year I saw that Harry had checked off going. So we’d decided to go together.

I could have easily reached out to him. Asked him about meeting up there. But I didn’t want to come across any way. I remember our run-in 6 years ago. We felt the same way—we would do anything for each other, and I didn’t want any affect over him coming. Last I heard he was still in a relationship. Just cuz I was didn’t mean I had to ruin another.

“Okay. We going in?” Andie passes me her flask.

I’d taken to drinking again. Originally I stopped after a particularly bad night when I was 28. It nearly cost me my wedding back then.

I stopped to get sober. To feel what it felt like not to rely on alcohol to keep from feeling my emotions. I had a lot of grief I never processed. And unfortunately being sober, and processing the grief and depression, had ultimately cost me my marriage. But I was better for it. I knew what unconditional love and support was. I didn’t want to settle for someone who only loved me at my best.

Now I felt in control when I drank. I knew when to stop.

“Let’s go!”

“Do you think he’ll remember me?” Andie asks as we walk up to the place.

“You comment on so many of his posts. I think he does.” I tease.

“Gah. It would have saved me so much heartbreak if I just told him back 18 years ago how I felt.”

“Maybe,” I think about my confessed love 18 years ago and the heartbreak that ensued.

“Well at least I would have gotten him outta my system. Oh god I see him-“

“Hi ladies,” we’re stopped near the front and given name tags, making small talk with the girls working the booth. I vaguely remember them from a club but I have to read their name tags to pretend I remembered them at all.

Andie ditches me pretty quickly but I don’t mind. I find some friends I saw a couple times a year. Guess this was the couple time this year.

The whole time my eyes scan the room. People had brought their partners and I wondered if Harry would do the same. Deep down, I prayed he didn’t. I just wanted to see him.

I spot him halfway through the night. He’s leaning against the bar talking to Khalil. I remembered they used to be friends, he was always nice to me while Harry and I dated.

I watch him talk and drink. I lose him for a bit and then catch him leaving. Shite.

I excuse myself and rush out but nearly trip over myself slowing down. He was just outside for a smoke break.

“When did that habit start?” I ask. He nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Fu-y/n you scared me.” He shakes his face dramatically, like he’s getting something off of it. I bite back a smile, he was pretty drunk. “When did you get here? I didn’t know you came to these things?”

“I don’t.” I correct him. I couldn’t tell him I came for him. “It was just the name of this reunion, Graduation’s graduating. How could I pass it up?”

This earns a laugh. Eases the air between us. “Did you see Oli in there? He’s gotten bald.”

“He looks like his dad actually,” I remember his dad was always coming to Oli’s football matches, screaming at his son to run faster.

“Glad you didn’t end up with him?” Harry smirks.

“Oh yeah. I heard last reunion he just kept going up for the karaoke sober. If I want my bloke to embarrass me, at least give him the excuse of being drunk.”

“Shit,” Harry laughs. “I remember that! I remember! Wish I could forget!”

I laugh with him. “Harry you’re getting pretty close to drunk yourself.”

“Ah yeah. More than 3 drinks that, I’m being naughty tonight.”

I scrunch my nose, no idea what he’s talking about.

“I can’t believe you’re here tonight,” Harry says again. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another 12 years after our last time.”

“Thought I’d halve the time.” I watch Harry squash out the butt.

“Glad you did.” He looks at me and I’m 17 again. Why couldn’t we both be single? Why did I come here knowing I couldn’t have him.

Maybe I was as masochistic as the person who invented maths.

“Yn?” A voice calls out to me. “Oi! It is you I thought I was dreaming you up! What a sight!”

I’d been avoiding Oli all night. Not anymore.

I glance at Harry and he hides a smirk. Oli notices Harry then and his face hardens a little.

“Oli! Long time!” I go in for the hug he’s reaching for, unsure why he was so sweaty on an autumn night. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he grins at me. “You look good! Not a day over 25.”

“Don’t flatter me Oli,” I roll my eyes. “It’s not going to get you anything.”

“I’m not looking! I swear it!” He says earnestly. “I’m just paying you a compliment. It’s good to see you. Hey, I’m actually in a good relationship. Gonna propose to her.”

“Are you? What’s she like?”

I stand in the brisk evening as Oli tells me about his girlfriend. I’m happy for him, what we had in high school wasn’t really a relationship but I never wished him bad. He was a good guy, I was glad he found his person.

I change the subject when he asks about my love life, tell him I was getting cold. We head back in and I tell him I’d catch up to him later. I’d lost Harry and wanted to find him again. I had more I wanted to talk about.

“Khalil,” I interrupt him playing pool. He goes in for a hug and I engage in polite small talk until I tire of it. “I’m looking for Harry.”

“Of course you are,” he wags a finger at me. “I saw him leaving ten minutes ago?”

“Jeez really?” I couldn’t believe I missed him! After coming here just for him. Maybe he had to get home, maybe he had a kid by now. Had to tuck him in.

“He’s not doing so well since the divorce-“

“What?” I stare at Khalil like he’s spoken gibberish. Why hadn’t I heard about that?

“Ehm yeah. He’s pretty private about it.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. He’s been separated a few years now but he just signed the papers a couple weeks ago. I dunno. He gets kinda depressed around this time of year. Probably the weather.”

It was September. It wasn’t the weather.

I had to find him.

I brush past the people I went to school with. I followed Harry outside to a roof 17 years ago and today I follow him out to find him again. We needed to talk.

I look both ways, hoping for a miracle.

I spot a figure slumped on the far end of the road. I recognize the church, it was where we went every Easter and Christmas growing up.

I walk towards the figure until I can make out the hair. It was Harry. Thank god.

“Why’d you leave?” I ask him when he looks up to my approaching footsteps.

“I drank too much,” he hangs his head again. I sit beside him.

“I heard about the divorce. I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugs. “We separated a while ago. It was coming for a long time.”

“Yeah. Still.” I say.

We sit in silence, the only sound is our breathing and the faint noises from the pub down the road.

“She’s in her last year by now.” I say without further explanation. I know he’d know.

“Our baby’s 17.”

Our baby? I feel choked up. All these years we’d been apart, built our own lives, and there was still an our even when there hadn’t been.

“It’s always been us hasn’t it?” Harry says. “Nobody understands.”

“They couldn’t. We were so young, making such a big decision.”

“Oh y/n.” He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. He’s cold, his jacket pooled on the steps around him. I gather it to spread over his shoulder but he stops me. “How much heartbreak can you have in one lifetime?”

I sit, aching for the pain Harry was going through. Knowing it was mirrored in me.

“I’ve had enough for a lifetime. I know that.”

“Me too.” Harry sighs. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” I intertwine our hands. They still fit the exact same, all these years later. I examine them, but they looked the same too. I wonder if our baby girl ever looked at her hands, wondered who she inherited them from.

“D’you think she thinks about us?” Harry asks what I’m thinking.

“Maybe.” I say. “I like to think so. I just hope she doesn’t hate us for giving her up.”

“Yeah me too I think…” he hangs his head. I hear him sniffle. Seems like Harry hit the point of drinking where all you could feel is regret. I remember those days. I knew where he was.

When he doesn’t finish his sentence I fill the silence; “Me and Tatum split uh…four years ago now.” I update him. “You probably heard something about it. I remember my mum saying she ran into yours when it was happening. They probably talked all about it.”

I wait for Harry to give confirmation but he stays the way he is.

“I went sober a few years before then. Almost ruined our wedding cuz I was exactly where you were. Unprocessed grief and all I could do was drink about it. I’d given up a baby at 18, then lost a baby a decade later. It feels silly to say out loud, that something that never really came into this world—something the size of a fruit could act like the rock you push up the hill every morning. The grief you fight at your darkest times. How could we be haunted by something that didn’t even exist—not technically. But that’s just the way it was. And that’s the way it had to be when we were 18. I’m not always sure I made the right decision overall but I know it was a decision we had to make at the time. I’ve had to find my peace. So do you Harry.”

“Yeah. I-I have to. Y’know? Sometimes I wonder if I would have made her proud.” Harry sniffles. I had similar thoughts. My throat feels tight remembering. “I don’t think, right now, I would be.”

“She’s so loved. She is so loved Harry. Whatever…wherever she is.”

“I love you.” Harry turns to me. His face is raw with grief and emotion. “Never stopped loving you. But I don’t want to give you this version of me.”

“I’ll take any version of you Harry.” I reassure him. “I think we’ve seen too much of each other to be able to hide anything away.”

He tips forward slowly until his head rests on my chest. I hold him there, just like he’d done for me so many years ago. I tell him the type of thing that meant everything to me back then and I hope it helps him to hear it: “We’ll get through this Harry.”

***

“I don’t remember getting here.”

I look up from my book, Harry stands in my kitchen with a confused look on his face. It was weird seeing him here in my flat. But it was so right too.

“We walked home. I thought you sobered up.”

“Nuh-uh.” He takes a few steps towards me, hesitant.

“Coffee?”

“Maybe I’ll take a shower first?”

“First door on your right. Extra towels in the cupboard.”

“Thanks.”

We look at one another for a beat before he moves back. I make another pot of coffee and clean up from breakfast while he showers.

Next time he walks back in he looks a lot better. Smells nice too.

“Black please.” He says when I hold the coffee up.

I pour him a cup and watch him sip it.

“Thank you for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell him.

“I remember what you said to me. You’re right of course. I think I knew it, I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with. Nobody knew about us…”

“You didn’t have to keep it a secret ‘til this day Harry.” I was surprised he had. “You didn’t even tell any of your friends?”

“The only people who knew were my family, a-and Shan. But. Year after year it didn’t mean the same thing to her. I stopped talking to her about it pretty quickly. Think it made it worse because her and I couldn’t actually…”

“Yeah.” I understood.

“But I realized. I think it was losing both of you. I feel like you were taken away too. We just went from being around each other all the time to cold turkey. That was a loss too so…”

“Yeah.” Again, I understood.

“I’m 35. I’ve gotta…get my head on straight.”

I examine him. “Looks okay to me?”

He smiles and puts his cup down.

“I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.”

“Meh that was years ago. Hard then. Fine now. For the best.”

“I agree,” Harry moves around the table to stand where I am. My heart pulses just like it always does around him. He rests a hand on my hip, dragging it up to wrap around my waist. He must feel how hard my heart’s beating. “Did I tell you? That I love you?”

“Maybe?” I feel myself growing more present. The hole that always lived inside of me growing even smaller in this moment. It allows me to settle on the floor better; less air, more weight.

“Well I do. I love you. At 17, or at 35.” He says this with a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“Well. I love you.” I return the kiss, relish in the way his hand grips my tank. “At 17, or 35.”

“Sometimes I wish I held on tighter at 17. But I look at you now and I’m excited to get to know you again.”

His words pour over me like honey. It was sweet we were still on the same page.

“I’m not letting you go this time.” Harry whispers in my ear. He pulls me in tight, swaying from side to side. “I want to spend 41 and 50 with you. I want all of you, every side.”

“Perfect,” I peer up at him. “That’s exactly what I want too.”

“And maybe one day,” he continues in a hush voice. “We’ll get a call from a young girl. She’ll tell us all about her life in a town up north. About a picture she has of her mother dressed like her father and her father dressed like her mother.”

“She’ll tell us she’s had a good life, and she’s thought about the people in the picture. She’d tell us she wants to meet them.”

“We would be able to show her the love we kept for her. Our love’s like a venn diagram, the bit in the middle is just for her. She’d know why she was born in the first place.”

“Closure,” I whisper to him. “We would know closure.”

I remember the day she was taken, how the loss of not even being able to see her felt bigger than the loss of her itself back then.

I think of a 17 year old girl, with green eyes and brown hair. With my smile and Harry’s dimples. My hands, and Harry’s height. She was loved by people, families, that she didn’t even know existed yet.

They say if you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back.

As Harry and I stay intertwined in the kitchen of my flat, I send out a wish into the universe for her like I did most days. That she was healthy, happy, and one day curious enough to seek us out. That one day, she would come back.

Right now I focus on the man in my arms. The one I never thought I’d get to hold again. For now this was all I needed. I’d loved him, let him go, and after so many years apart, we were back.

[bowerxdepp]

No one:

Those One Direction x Y/N fics when Wattpad was at its peak:

[hunflowers]

pull me in

a/n: okayyyyyyyy a little writing because i missed writing but it's been hard writing a big story. satellite blurb about friend!harry and (thought to be) unrequited love hehe

Everyone knew the feelings you two had for each other. The feelings that went unannounced every day for years.

The constant questions you would ask about him, wondering where he was. The constant wondering if you actually liked him or if he was just reading you wrong. It was like this for years but life kept going, never once allowing you to stop and think, eventually causing you to drift apart.

The infatuation, admiration, and love were persistent, though, no matter how far apart you grew. You weren't exactly sure why.

When you turned eighteen, you went off to university in London to study education, and Harry had pursued his career in music. You had your mutual friends but it had been years since you physically saw or spoke to him. You had boyfriends and lovers and focused intently on your studies and career, so the pestering thought of a particular famous musician should've gone away. It was your plan, after all.

After a night out where you drunkenly admitted your feelings to an also drunk Harry and him not saying anything in return, you made sure to never embarrass yourself like that again.

Unbeknownst to you, however, Harry didn't hear you. Between the music, the slur of your words, and the guy talking in his left ear, he couldn't make out what you were trying to tell him. When he was trying to read your lips and form some sentence in his head, he saw the look on your face change and the smile you had quickly shaped into a frown. He was ready to ask you to repeat yourself but then that guy talking in his left ear stepped between you two to start talking to someone nearby. Then you ran off and Harry never knew what it was that you said.

It was a sore subject so even if your friends tried to talk to you about Harry and that night, you would quickly dismiss them, urging them to talk about anything else. Because you were so certain there was nothing to even talk about. He didn't harbor the same feelings as you, and that's okay, you couldn't force him to like you.

Over the course of the nearly ten years since that happened, you would be lying if you said you didn't listen to his music at all or notice him on tabloid covers. It was very hard to fully avoid someone that famous from your hometown who is still friends with your friends.

Though, you did a pretty good job if you did say so yourself. Through the rollout of his first two albums and the many invitations to his concerts, you always respectfully declined, saying you had too much to do to spend a night with screaming fangirls pining over the same man as you.

"Y/N, c'mon, it'll be fun! You haven't had a proper night out in a long time," Lynn, one of the few remaining links between you and Harry, and also your best friend, said. She pouted her lips, clasping her hands together and holding them under her chin to really emphasize her puppy-dog look. She had seen this trick far too many times with her students that she's immunized.

You shook your head, continuing to fold your laundry. "Sorry, babe, I'm just not feeling up for it. Concerts aren't m'thing."

Lynn scoffed, "No, his concerts aren't your thing. Which, in my opinion, is crazy because he knows how to put on a good show."

"That's great but I'm still not going."

"It's a free ticket!"

"Sorry."

It was the same fight for years. You just didn't want to go no matter how much your friends hype him up.

With his third album, however, your opinion slightly changed. Release day came and you picked a few songs to listen to. You liked them all which wasn't a surprise, but then you heard 'Satellite'.

You had no reason to believe it was about you because surely you weren't that lucky. But then you listened to it again and again. You got a new life, am I bothering you?

You called Lynn immediately. You had to know if someone else had the same thought. "I think so. I mean, he's been asking about you a lot lately, so I wouldn't be surprised."

"What do you mean he's been asking about me?"

"What else could that mean, Y/N?"

You sat in silence for a moment biting on your bottom lip. "What have you told him?"

"We've been telling him you 'aven't got time with anyone anymore because you only care about work."

"Lynn-"

"It's true, babe. You can't tell me it's not."

I can see you're lonely down there.

You laid in bed that night, staring at the ceiling. Before the phone call ended, Lynn said he invited you lot to his One Night Only show in London. She told you not to give her an answer yet and to actually think about this one before going off and dismissing everyone again.

You didn't think though because the next morning as soon as you woke up, you agreed to go. Just this once. For the experience. That's all.

You were so nervous when the day finally came. You asked if you would be seeing him before or after the show and Lynn said, "Probably both. Take a deep breath, it'll be fun."

You were let backstage when you arrived, escorted to a lounge where Harry and his family already were.

You nearly stopped in your tracks at the sight of him. It was a while since you’ve last been this close to him — but honestly, it wasn’t until you saw his face that you realized you truly have missed him.

You can’t decide how pathetic that is just yet, so you opt to get a drink from the mini bar set up before getting the chance to embarrass yourself.

However, Harry had also spotted you right away. He nearly leapt up from his seat when he saw that you actually took him up on his invitation. He remained cool though, casually getting up and making his way over towards you.

“Y/N, hi, I’m so glad y’decided to come,” Harry spoke behind you, causing you to jump a little at the suddenness. You turned around, nearly at the same distance when you last confessed your feelings. You got a small little flashback to that time but quickly disregarded it, giving him a small smile before reaching over for a hug.

“I figured it was time to see just how good you are,” you laughed, making him give a small chuckle in return. Without either of you realizing, the hug lasted a good while. You just stood there in each other’s embrace because this was a moment long in the making. You had every right to embrace it — and him.

And when that moment came that you both realized you should probably let go, you did; but not completely. Your hands remained on his shoulders and his on your hips as you stared into each others eyes, trying to read whatever emotions you could.

Was this good? Was this what you needed? Could you tell if he’s missed you as much as you have him?

You think yes is the answer to all of these questions. You both shared a small smile before completely distancing, waving him goodbye as he was urged to make his way to stage.

Lynn was watching the whole thing from across the room. Little to your knowledge, Lynn told Harry what happened that night all those years ago. How you confessed your feelings and was heartbroken because it seemed like he didn’t even care that you told him.

He did care. A lot. But by the time she told Harry, you had already began your distancing, opting to never seeing him again, despite him wanting to talk a few times. So he moved on just like you did, or so he thought he did (or so you thought you did).

But in that very moment, you, Harry, and Lynn knew that this was the start of something beautiful, this was the start of something that should’ve happened a long time ago. And when he goes on stage tonight to sing that special song, he’ll be looking for you, singing it for you.

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in.

[harryxmarvel]

Harry Styles Masterlist

One shots -

Broken trust - Y/n overhears harry calling her annoying

Expect - Harry priorities work over his family

Shatter my soul , part 2 - Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask

CEO!Harry universe (coming soon)

Point of view (povs)

Support me by checking out my small business

Thank you ❤️

Last updated ~ April 13

[harrysarchive]

A request where Harry styles is a college football star student who has a crush on his single sexy proffesor, reader. One day, reader asked him to see after class

after class: h.s.

pairing: fratboy!harry x professor!reader

summary:

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

or

fratboy harry has a hot professor and she calls him in after class.

warning:

SMUT 18+ PLEASE

p.s.a i didn't write the exact request but this is what i felt comfortable writing! thank you for the request! <3

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘'𝐒

𝐏𝐎𝐕

i let out an exaggerated sigh as i make my way to english literature, introduction to romantic poetry was the lesson of the week. at least the professor is bangin' hot. thick thighs, amazing curves and what looks like a d-cup set nicely on her chest.

professor y/l/n.

she was a recent graduate of the University of Georgia, the current school i was attending. a full ride football scholarship, i was the best wide receiver in the nation, uni's form all states where trying to pull me. i made the decision to attend UGA on logistics, the best football team in all the states, currently undefeated.

"you ready to see our professor?" niall snaps me out of my thoughts wiggling his eyebrows.

"bloody hell, yes. i don't think i could thank my advisor more for forcing me to do this class." i snicker and he chuckles shaking his head.

"tell me 'bout it." he comments licking his lips and i scrunch my face in disgust.

"watch yourself horan." i mumble as i see a group of girls waving at me and sending winks my way, i send them a wave before averting my eyes.

niall throws a punch at my arm before starting a light jog and i huff out a laugh before following him. sooner than later we find ourselves in professor y/l/n's lecture hall.

"romantic poetry is the poetry of the Romantic era, an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement that originated in Europe towards the end of the 18th century." professor y/l/n's states as she walks around her desk, a gray pencil skirt hugs her curvy hips, her freshly shaven legs on display, and a black turtleneck that sticks to her skin like glue. "i've decided to take a different route then the normal, 'Sonnet 18 by the beloved William Shakespeare', and instead we will start this unit with something from my background, 'El Beso' by Angelina Weld Grimké. which translates to 'the kiss', Grimké wrote the poem about a love song, full of passion, yearning, and confused emotions."

i lick my lips and pull my bottom lip between my teeth, she sits back on the desk and her hips plush out even more.

i never would've thought i could listen so much in a class.

"as like your other projects in my class you will either make a short story, making it easier for the common eye to read or, you will make a photo reflection. with that being said i would also like a short summary over 'El Beso.' she smiles at the class, "any questions?" no one raises their hand except, well me. "yes mr. styles?" she cocks an eyebrow.

"what is the grade point based on?"

"like all your other projects it depends on efficiency, the structure and etcetera." she replied folding her hand in-front of her chest, "also if i could see you after class mr. styles, we need to talk."

my heart drops to the pit of my stomach and i gulp down the knot in my throat, "of course professor y/l/n."

i'm fucked.

"thank you so much for working hard today! i cant wait to see all of the things you guys have come up with. there will be a short quiz over El Beso next class so study hard!" professor y/l/n shooes everyone out, class ticked by at the slowest rate known to man kind.

i stand awkwardly at the foot of her desk and wait till she turns around beaming a smile at me.

"ah mr. styles! exactly who i wanted to see. please follow me to my office." she starts walking towards the direction of the locked office and opens it with her key.

"now no need to be scared, just wanted to talk to you about your grades." she smiles pointing me to sit in the chair in front of her desk.

she slides into her rollie chair as well and pulls out a manila folder with my name on the top right corner.

"okay it's just that you seem to be doing exceptional in my class, you are one of the top students that i have."

"but..?" i wait for the wooing factor that's bound to happen.

"but you are barely passing your other classes." she pulls out what looks like a report card you would get in grade school.

"a seventy is passing." i state bluntly as i look over the grades.

"that is true mr. styles, very true but how are you making seventy precent in all other class and passing mine with a ninety percentage average?"

it's because you make me focus.

"how do i make you focus?" she answer the question i thought was just in my head.

"i don't know okay? i mean look at you! you're the hottest professor i have! it hard not to pay attention when you are the professor!"

her eyes widen at my outburst and her ears flush, she straightens herself out and i notice that she squeezes her thighs together.

"i'm sorry? that i distract you?" she stutters putting her glasses on the top of her head.

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

i get up and make my way towards her side of the desk pulling her chair out, i let my hands travel up her sides and to her shoulders, massaging them slowly as she lets out a whine.

"tell me this doesn't turn you on. the thought of you and me. me bending you over this goddamn desk and me fucking you senseless." i whisper in her ear and a shiver runs down her spine.

"we can't." she says bluntly causing a chuckle to leave my mouth.

"i didnt ask if we could did i, love?" she holds back an answer and i bring my lips to her neck pressing kisses on her sensitive skin, "i asked if this turns you on."

she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and murmurs, "fuck it." before spinning around and crashing her lips with mine. i eagerly kiss back slipping my tongue between her mouth, she lets a moan slips out. i slip between her legs and my arms grab underneath her thighs picking her up with ease.

"wait," she whines pulling apart and pushing my chest.

"what baby?" i practically cry out wanting nothing more than to kiss her puffy lips again.

"the door, i didn't lock it."

i let out a chuckle before dropping her to her feet and briefly pecking her lips, quickly locking the door. y/n leans over the desk, the plump of her ass sticking out.

"so you do want this?" i muse as my hand runs along down arch of her back.

"shut up and fuck me." she grunts through gritted teeth causing my cock to swell in my pants.

i slip a hand through the front of her skirt splitting her sleek folds before my thumb makes contact with her sensitive puffy clit rubbing tight circles, her whimpers and moans start to fill the air, "you're soaked baby." i mumble in her ear and she shivers.

"please." she pleas, grabbing ahold on her skirt hiking it up and they bunch on her plump hips.

"wanna taste ya cunt first." i groan sitting in her chair as i pull down her red lace thong, "ya tryna to kill me."

pressing a kiss to the arch of her back i make my way down to her puffy cunt, jesus fuck, i spread her glistening folds pressing a kiss to her clit, she lets out a breathy moan before pushing her hips back licking a broad stripe through her folds, muffling my own groan of pleasure.

"oh harry." she shuddered pulling her hand to her mouth, trying to suppress the small moans and whimpers that were trying to escape her.

"no," i growl against her and slap her plushy ass, "let them out, i wanna her you."

her jaw fell open as a beautiful pornographic moan erupted through the room, knuckles white as they fisted the bottom of the desk, nails digging in the wood leaving small angry marks, her hips pushing back into my face.

my hands were around her thighs, pulling her closer to me, holding her still as she huffed out a breath through her swollen lips. i begged her with my actions, digging fingers into her beautiful melanin flesh and willed her to cum on my face.

"har, 'm gonna cum!" she moaned bucking her hips.

"do it." i spat shortly.

she lets out a high pitched moan as her orgasm hits her, i let her ride it out coaxing her swollen clit. my hands quickly unbutton my pants and i yank them down along with my boxers.

"got my cock leaking honey." i muse lightly fisting my bulge.

"fuck me please." she whines arching her back further.

"yeah you want my cock bad?" i tease swiping my swollen tip through her velvet folds.

not wanting to tease us both any longer i positioned my cock at her entrance, pushing inside her in one fluid motion. she moaned loudly, my hands moving to her lower back, fingers digging into her skin i groaned at the feeling of being inside her. i fucked into her at a torturously steady pace. she grounded her hips down to meet my movements, desperate for more, silently begging me to meet that soft spot inside of her. my hand moves to her neck, wrapping around her throat and she whines.

" 's good." she slurred as her legs start to buckle.

i pull her up with the hand that's around her neck, moving it to her face before turning her head to give her a bruising kiss. once we pulled away i push her down again my hips snapping faster craving a release. i looked at her like she was artwork, displayed just for me in a pornographic arch. my pace was fast, smooth and shallow thrusts, keeping my hips angled so my cock could hit that spongy place that makes her eyes roll back.

"faster h! please!" she cried pushing her hips back, i rocked my hips faster against her before looking down where we connected, i gather saliva in my mouth before spitting between us.

"that's it baby, that's it, take it like a good girl." i gasp out gripping her hips with an iron grip not letting her run from my thrust. i felt her spazzing around me and a choked moan left my lips, my hand moves around to her front and my thumb connects with her swollen pearl.

"cum for me baby." i grunt and she lets out a whine clawing the front of her desk.

she clenched around me and i let out a gasp as we both finally released. my thrusts we're starting to slow down, giving her a sharp pump keeping my cock there as her orgasm hit her. she screams my name as her eyes closed and legs shook. i stood above her as i waited for her pulse to calm down. i let out a breathy chuckle before pulling out and grabbing a tissue for the box of her desk. i quickly clean her before placing a kiss on her plump ass and pull her thong up.

"what do you want for dinner love?" i ask as she pushes her skirt back into place.

she turns around with a smile on her lips before pushing me to sit in her chair and sitting in my lap, "dunno, we haven't gone grocery shopping this week, we have nothing in the fridge."

i play with the diamond ring that rested on her left hand before bringing it to my lips and placing a kiss on it.

"i can go if you want sum pet."

"yeah been craving your chicken parm." she groans out rubbing her stomach, i let out a chuckle before kissing her lips.

"okay want anything else?"

"those crisps i like, the spicy ones." she hums running a hand through my hair, "best fiancé out there."

"yeah? 'm the best?" i tease her and she nods.

a/n: PLOT TWIST😭🤣🤣 i knew i wanted them to have a real relationship but i didn't know if i wanted it to be a "they use to date" relationship or a "they're engaged" relationship😋

also a lil introduction about me i'm 19! my full name is emily but please call me em! i am mexican (MEXICORRY RISE🇲🇽) my pronouns are she/her/hers. i've been a fan of harry since xfactor days so i'm not new to this fandom🫶🏽 that's all you get rn ;)

-all the love,

em

xo🐝

[louisdearestlove]

Oh my God, this reading. At 9.55 …. “There’s someone in his life he keeps coming back to and thinks they are endgame” . “Someone who is bitchy with a stick up their ass”

Gold 😂

[cinemastyles-backup]

Summary: Y/N and Harry lose contact after many years and finally run into each other and he invites y/n to his listening party for his album, Fine Line and reconnect.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, oral, hair pulling, general filth

My original CinemaStyles-blog has been terminated, so I created a new one.

After breaking the news to Harry about my parents moving, I sat there in silence.

After a few moments he lays an arm over my shoulder and I look over at him, "I'm going to miss you y/n." He says with tears in his eyes.

I sniffle and nod, "I know, Harry. I'm going to miss you. I wish I could stay." I wipe my tears away with my sweatshirt sleeve.

"Everyone at the bakery is going to miss you, too." He rubs my shoulder, "We'll have to call each other every night."

I nod, "Just promise me one thing."

He nods, "Anything, y/n."

"Just follow your dreams of being a singer. Don't give up. I know you can make it." I lean in and kiss his cheek.

He smiles slightly, "I will. I'll get big and famous and I'll find you. I promise."

I get up and walk towards the door and Harry calls out my name. I turn and he walks over to me, "Promise me you'll travel the world like you've always wanted to do."

I nod, "I love you, Harry."

"I love you, Y/N."

And with a simple peck on the lips, I was gone. On a plane with my parents to a new life.

—— Years Later

"This is beautiful." I say tilting my head, "It definitely has a very strong story behind it, don't you think?" I turn to my friend. She tilts her head and nods, "Oh, it definitely does, y/n."

"Something about not knowing who you are and going through the ups and downs then coming out of absolute hell.. knowing who you are." I pause for a moment, my eyes going over every paint line.

"Wow. That's- I don't even know how to respond to that." She laughs slightly, "Are you okay?" I nod and smile, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Let's walk over here."

We walk over, looking around at the other paintings on the walls.

I walk over to this one paintings hanging up and it reminds me of someone. The feelings I'm getting from looking at this piece of art, is the same feeling I remember having when I said goodbye to Harry.

Like something important to you is being ripped away and you have absolutely no control over it.

I find myself smiling as I think of the times with Harry. At the bakery, goofing around in his living room, walking in the park, arguing over stupid stuff, and the first time he kissed me.

God, he was so nervous. It was so cute.

I zone out and go to turn and I bump into the back of someone, "Oh gosh. I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't see you there."

He slowly turns his head and my stomach drops.

"Harry?"

"Y/N?"

He immediately takes me into his arms and spins me around, "What are you doing here?"

I keep my arms around him, "I'm traveling the world." He laughs, "I can't- I ju- oh my god." He hugs me tighter.

We stand there, in the middle of the art gallery holding onto each other.

He steps back, keeping his hands on my shoulders, "Still as beautiful as ever." His words make me blush, "Harry." I look down and he pulls me into his chest again.

"What's going on here?" Jess asks walking over to me. I smile and step away but still keeping an arm around Harry's waist, "Jess.. this is Harry."

"As in.. the Harry?" Her mouth drops, "No way." She looks over at him, "She never stops talking about you, by the way."

I scoff, "No. I-"

"I never stop talking about her either, so it's okay." He rubs my back and I smile.

"This is straight out of a rom com, dude." Jess shakes her head, "This is crazy." I nod and look up at Harry, "I know. I know. What are you doing in Berlin?"

He keeps his eyes on me, "I'm hosting a, um, listening party for my second album."

I smile, "Second one already?."

"It sure is."

I lay my head on him, "I knew you could do it." He points to me, "I have her to thank. I didn't give up. I wanted to, trust me. But I promised her I wouldn't."

"This is fucking insane." Jess smiles, "I can't-" she shakes her head, "We need to go get coffee and you need to fill me in on the love of Harry and y/n."

She starts to walk to the exit.

"Do you have time to get coffee?" I ask Harry. He nods, "Of course I do." We follow Jess out the door and walk down the street to a little cafe.

——

"So yeah. That's the story of Harry and y/n." I say smiling over at Harry. He nods and sips his coffee, "It sure is."

"So, you told her you'd find her?" Jess asks pointing to me while looking at Harry. He nods, "I did." She points to Harry and looks at me, "And you promised him you'd travel the world?"

I nod, "Correct." She shakes her head and smiles, "Straight out of a rom com." She shakes her head and quickly sets her cup down, "So wait. He's the one who wrote that 'woman la-la-la-la-la wo-woman' song you like so much?"

"Yes, and he's the one who also wrote Kiwi. The one you like a lot."

"Ah. So you do listen to my music." Harry teases, "It's a great album, I know, I know.

I roll my eyes and laugh, "And now, you have your second album." I shake my head and smile at him, "I'm proud of you, Harry."

He smiles and looks over at Jess when she puts her hand up, "So you're hosting a what?" Jess asks drinking her coffee. He runs a hand through his hair, "A listening party. You guys should come. You'll get to hear my new album, Fine Line." He looks at me, "Will you come?"

I nod, "Of course, Harry." I lay a hand on his and his thumb gently rubs the back of my hand, "I won't miss it."

His phone goes off and he reaches into his sweater pocket to grab it, "I have to take this. I'll be right back." He winks at me and walks away.

"Your parents ripped you away from that?" Jess says lowly. I nod, "Yep. Didn't even give me a choice. Just.." I point my thumb into the air.

Harry walks back over, "That was someone from my team, I have to go and okay everything for tomorrow. If you give me your number, y/n, I can text you the details."

I take his phone and add my number, "I'll be expecting a text from you." I smile and hand him his phone back, "Of course you'll get one." He leans down and kisses my cheek, "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"You sure will." Jess says hitting the table, "See you Harry." She waves to him and nudges me as he walks away, "He's still in love with you."

I watch as he rounds the corner and disappears, "And I'm still in love with him."

——

I walk up to the doors with Jess by my side, "I'm so excited." She says pulling on the door, "I've never been to a listening party."

"Me either, so I'm sure this will be an experience." I walk in past her and make our way to where Harry told us to go.

"You made it!" Harry says jogging over to me, "Glad to see you." He wraps his arms around me, holding me until I lean back, "I'm glad to see you."

All I want is to kiss him right now.

He smiles and keeps me in arms reach as he starts to give his speech about his album. I watch as his eyes gleam with happiness and I can't help but smile the whole time.

He glances over at me every now and then and he smiles every time.

He finishes up his speech and walks over to me, "I'm so excited for you to hear this." He hands me a pair of head phones after putting a pair around his neck.

"I'm excited to hear it." I bite my lip and sit down, placing the headphones on my ears.

Harry sits across from me and shakes his head as he smiles.

I can't believe after all these years, I finally have Harry with me again, I promise I'm not letting him go this time.

A few song play that are upbeat and very catchy. The one that starts playing is slow. There's a piano playing. Harry's voice is slow and mellow to start then suddenly it hits me and I start to tear up. I quickly wipe my tears away and look up.

Harry tilts his head and gives me a thumbs up. I nod and smile. This song is kinda sad and it breaks my heart because he sings about what If he's not someone he doesn't want around or something. I'm not sure, it's a sad song to me.

I give Harry a pouty look and my eyes water.

"Falling?" He mouths to me.

I nod and he smiles, "it's okay."

The song ends and the next one is him calling himself an arrogant son of a bitch, and I can't help but giggle.

I glance over at him and he's looking around at everyone who came to listen to his music.

He looks so good in his striped shirt and sweater vest pulled over it. His hair slicked back and the way his chin rests on his hand.

I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts. I bite my lip and close my eyes, listening to the sound of Harry's voice - which doesn't help.

His voice is so sexy and genuine.

I take a quiet deep breathe and look up at him. He's watching me. God, I hope he didn't pick up on me checking him out.

I can feel my cheeks getting hotter as the thoughts get harder to fight off. As young teens, sex wasn't even thought about, I mean, it most likely would have happened but we're grown now and now Harry can probably throw me aro-

Stop it. Stop it.

I smile up at Harry and he smirks.

Shit.

He could read me like a book then, I'm sure he still can.

——

"Well?" He asks eagerly waiting to hear the feedback.

"Harry. That was... wow." Jess says making an explosion noise as she wiggles her fingers around her head.

"Falling made me tear up. But I think you saw that." I smile slightly and look down. He gives me a hug and leans down, "I saw a lot of things." He whispers lowly into my ear, "You're still an open book to me, y/n."

Well damn.

"Yeah- I-" I sigh, "You got me." I laugh and look up at him. He smiles and lightly drags his hand down my back, "We can talk about it over dinner, yeah?"

I nod, "Yes. Please." He smiles, "Okay. Just give me like an hour or two to meet and greet and then we can head back to my hotel." He winks and walks over to the group of people looking at his album.

"Did I hear you're going back to his hote!?" Jess whispers, "Giiirl." I shake my head, "Not like- no. For dinner."

"And dessert." She winks before walking away to look around. I sit back down in the seat and I can't help but smile. My thoughts running back to when Harry and I were together.

He comes over to check on me every now and then and finally it's time to go.

"Ready?" He asks slipping his jacket on. I nod, "Yes I am." I look over at Jess and she waves for me to go. Harry holds his hand out and I take it. He leads me outside and we get into a car.

"My hotel please." He tells the driver. He leans back and turns his body towards me, "So."

"So." I turn towards him.

"What did you really think of it?"

I smile, "Harry. You are amazing. That album.. I don't even have words to explain how good it was." He smiles, "Thank you. It really means a lot. I kept writing and writing and writing. I've wanted to reach out but I've been so busy with touring and-"

"Harry. You don't need to explain yourself to me." I lean up and lay a hand on his, "I understand. Life happened. We grew up."

He nods, "Yeah. Yeah we did." I see him bite his lip before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. He leans back and smiles, "I've been thinking of doing that since I seen you yesterday."

"Me too." I smile and bring him in for another kiss. This time our lips move in sync and his hands pull me closer to him. My hands slide up his arms and I lay one on the back of his neck.

"I've missed you." He whispers against my lips.

"I've missed you." I say. My eyes start to burn and I lean back and fan them, "Sorry. Sorry." He moves closer to me, "Hey, hey. It's okay."

I lay my head on his chest as he holds me against him. He's quiet for a few minutes before he chuckles.

"What?" I ask laughing with him. He drops his head so his lips are by my ear, "I've been thinking about doing other things, too."

I bite my lip and look up at him, "So have I." He traces my jaw line with his finger and rests it under my chin, "Like what?"

"We'll for starters." I look him up and down, "You look so good today. I mean you did yesterday too, but there's just something about how passionate you are about your music."

He leans in and kisses me again, "Can I show you how much I've missed you?" He kisses back my cheek and down my neck. I tilt my head and grip his bicep, "Mhm. Yes please."

"Your stop, Mr. Styles." The driver says. Harry pulls away, "Don't move." He gets out and walks up to the window, "Thank you."

He jogs around to my side and opens up my door. I get out and he takes my hand and we go straight up to his room.

He unlocks the door and pulls me in with him. He throws the key onto the table and cups my face with his hands, "I've thought about your beautiful face every. Single. Day. Since you left."

"I never stopped thinking about you, Harry. Not once." Our lips connect and it's heated and full of passion. He shrugs his coat off and I drop my bag, kicking my shoes off as we back up to the bed.

I lay down and Harry crawls on top of me, "I've thought about how we never really got to experience certain things."

He kisses down my neck and I gasp as his teeth sink into my delicate skin, "Like what?"

He drags a hand up my inner thigh, "Things like.." he brushes his nose against my cheek, "How you taste."

My breathe hitches in my throat, "Harry."

"How you'll feel against my body." He moves my shirt up and kisses my stomach. He looks up at me, "Do you want me to stop?"

I shake my head quickly, "No, no. Please no." I sit up and bring my sweater up over my head and toss it along side the bed, "Please, by all means keep going."

I lay back and lift my hips as he slides my down and off my legs. He slides his hands up my legs and grips my thighs, "If you want me to stop at any moment, let me know."

I nod and smile at him. He smirks and leans down, planting kisses up my thigh, alternating between each other. He gets closer to the center of my legs and I can feel his breathe.

"I've thought about having you under me. Moaning my name. He hooks his fingers into the band if my panties and starts to pull them down, "More times than I could count, y/n."

"I've wanted you. I've wanted you to have me. Take me. Use me in anyway you wanted." I bite my lip and spread my legs. His eyes flicker down, "Then that's just what I'll do."

He snakes his arms under my legs, my thighs resting against his shoulders.

I moan loudly as he licks between the folds of my pussy. I've craved the feeling of this.

"Fuck, y/n. You taste so fucking good." He pushes his face into me, his tongue going up and down and in and out. His nose rubbing against my clit, causing me to arch my back off the bed, "Harry.." I whimper, "That feels so-so good."

He moves up to suck me clit, his tongue lapping against it. I grab his hair and push his head closer to me.

I'm already ready to cum. I've wanted this for so long, so bad.

"F-fuck." I gasp and squeeze my thighs against his head. He still licks me up and down, eating me out like no tomorrow through my high.

He doesn't give up, he keeps going. And going. And going. Pushing me to the edge of another orgasm. My leg starts to shake as I pull him closer.

He leans his head up and looks up at me, "I can't wait to fuck you."

I let my leg fall off of his back and he crawls up, hovering over top of me. He leans down and kisses me. His tongue finding mine and he groans as I gently bite his lower lip.

He stands up and takes his shirt off, revealing his ever so perfect body that's full of tattoos. I bite my lip, admiring the way his muscles flex as he works on getting undressed.

He slips his boxers off and his hard cock instantly springs free. My eyes flicker down and a smirk grows on my lips.

"I wish we got to experience this before." He says crawling on the bed towards me. His body hovers over mine and I nod and brush hair from his forehead, "Me too."

He positions himself between my legs and rubs the tip of his cock against my pussy. I bite my lip and watch as he slides in.

My lips part and my eyes roll back. My fingers dig into his shoulder as I adjust to him.

"Worth the wait." Harry moans lowly. He tilts my head up and holds the back of my neck. He plants his lips on mine as he starts to slowly thrust.

His thrusts are slow and passionate, which feels even better because this feels so meaningful between us.

"Harry." I moan as I slide a hand up, tangling my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, "I love you."

He rests his forehead on mine, "I will always love you."  He rests his head on my shoulder as he kisses my neck. His moans fill my ears as he holds me close to him.

He flips us over and wraps his arms around me. We're in a sitting position now which brings us closer. I wrap my arms around his neck as I start bouncing on his cock.

Our lips move in sync, moaning into each others mouths.

"Im so close, Harry." I whimper. I tilt my head back and he kisses and nips at my neck, "Mm." He moans, "Me too."

I start clenching around him which earns more moans from him, "Fuck." He groans sliding his hands down my back. He grips my hips and moves them with me.

I let out a loud moan, pushing my chest into his and clinging to him as my body falls into orgasm.

"Fuck, baby." He grunts and lifts my hips up, I can feel his cum land on my thighs and I can't help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" He asks turning his head. I lift my head up, "We would have been so awkward at this when we were younger."

He laughs and rolls me over to lay me down, "Yeah, I feel that you're right." He goes and grabs a towel and comes back to wipe me off.

"Stay the night?" He asks with a smile. I nod, "Only if we can get dinner now." He nods, "Of course." He walks over and sits down beside me. I curl up next to him, my head resting on his chest and I can hear his heart beat.

"I've missed this. I've missed you." I say tracing circles into his side. He wraps his arm tighter around me, "I'm not going anywhere without you."

I smile and listen to him order room service. After a few moments of just laying with each other, he sighs, "So I have a confession to make." Harry says twirling my hair in his fingers.

"What would that be?" I ask looking up at him. He smiles slightly and sighs, "Okay. I wasn't just at the museum because I liked the art."

"Oh?" I question.

He nods, "I watched your Instagram. I seen you were coming here, to Berlin.. and.." he looks down and smiles at me, "I told you I'd find you."

——

You can find part two here

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated and don’t forget to hit follow! ♥

[cinemastyles-blog]

Come On, You Got It.

Summary: an anon request on Wattpad - "Personal trainer Harry???"

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, unprotected sex, oral (both), finishing in readers mouth, fingering, squirting, hair pulling, choking, filth

BOXER HARRY

"Come on, love. Give me a few more then we can take a break." Harry says as he leans around the punching bag, "You got it. Just a few more, please."

You sigh and drops your glove covered hands to your sides, "I'm tired, Harry."

He chuckles at your whining and shakes his head, "Fine. Go get some water."

You smirk as you undo the Velcro with your teeth and it makes Harry's eyebrow twitch. He runs his hand over his face as he walks over to grab his white boxing gloves off of the bench.

You walk over, sitting down as you grab your water bottle. Your eyes stay on him as he moves over to in front of you, "Can you wrap my hands?"

You know damn well Harry can wrap his own hands, but you don't argue. You grab the wrap from his grasp and move his hand to how you want it.

You've been training with Harry for months now, and you kinda of have a thing for him, so you know exactly how he likes it done.

"You're a fast learner." He jokes as his eyes follow your hands. You glance up at him and his eyes meet yours, "Only been doing this for how long."

He smirks as he brings his wrapped hand up, inspecting it, "Damn near perfect."

You scoff, "That is perfect."

"I know." Harry hands you his gloves to help him get them on, "I just like getting you riled up." He winks and you can feel your face get warmer, "Shut up."

"Make me."

Your head snaps upward and you sigh, "I could kick your ass any day." You squeeze your water bottle, squirting water in your mouth.

He watches as water dribbles down your chin and he quickly wipes it away with his thumb, "I'd like to see you try."

——

"Come on, y/n." Harry walks around the bag, admiring your punches, "You got it. Jab cross, jab cross cross." He nods in approval and grabs the bag, holding it still.

You step back, wiping sweat from your forehead onto your arm, "How was that?" He leans out around and smirks, "Good, that was good. But.."

You tilt your head as you take your gloves off, "What?"

He steps out from behind the bag and crosses his arms, "Still don't think you can beat me."

You raise your eyebrows, "Mm. I see."

"What?" He laughs as you walk to grab your water, "Come on. Loser buys dinner."

You turn to look at him before putting your gloves back on, "You are so on, Styles."

He grabs his gloves, putting them back and walking over to the mat, "C'mon." You smirk as you walk over, standing infront of him, "Ready to lose?"

He tilts his head and shrugs, "I should be asking you that."

You both get ready, moving around in a circle as you wait for your moment to strike. You used the combos that you learned today and end up popping him right in the nose.

By total accident.

"Oh my god.. are you okay?" You rest your glove over your lips as you step towards a doubled over Harry, "Hey I'm so- whoa!" You let out a slight scream as Harry flips you, pinning you to the ground.

His body is slightly pressing against yours and you look at him from over your shoulder, "Hey now."

He rolls you over onto your back and pins your arms down by your biceps, "Hey now." He says in a mocking tone which makes you laugh.

His eyes move over your face as he licks his lips and smiles, "So whats for dinner?"

"A knuckle sandwich if you don't let me up." You fight back a smirk but fail as he helps you stand up. You take your gloves off and unwrap your hands as you think, "Whatever you want is fine with me."

He nods, "I'll think about that while I shower."

You bite your lip and nod as you bend down to grab your bag, "Alright." You look at him with a smile before you disappear into the locker room to shower.

The whole time, the thought of you and Harry being the only ones in the gym settles into your mind.

You push them away but each time they come back, they're stronger and dirtier than the last.

You walk out, drying your hair off with a towel.

"About time." Harry says with an over exaggerated groan, "I'm starving out here." You laugh, "Sorry. I wanted to make sure I didn't stink like sweat."

He laughs, "Girls and their long ass showers."

"Hey. Can't hate it if you haven't tried it."

"What? A shower with you?" He raises his eyebrows and it causes you to stumble over your words, "Wh- no i di- not what I meant, Harry."

"Again. I just like to get you going." He chuckles and throws his bag over his shoulder, "I just have to stop over here at my office quick, so just give me a sec."

I nod and follow him over, watching as he sits down at his desk. His fingers tap the top as he tries to remember why he went in there.

"What are you looking for?" You ask as you lean against the door frame. He blows out air and leans back in his chair, "Come here."

Your heart starts beating fast as you step in and walk over to him, "What's up?"

He bites his lips and looks up at you, "So.." he laughs slightly and shakes his head, "Nothing, we can, uh. We can just go get dinner."

He stands up and you put your hand on his chest, "No. Finish what you were going to say."

He looks down at your hand planted flat on his chest and back up to you, "I want you."

His words make you freeze for a moment, but only because you were sure if he'd ever go for you, he is your trainer and all.

"Really?" You bite your lip and slowly slide your hand down his chest, slipping your fingers into the band of his shorts, "Because I want you, too."

In a quick motion, he spins you and sets you on his desk, "Glad we feel the same." He pulls your shorts and panties to the side, slowly slipping two fingers into you as he watches your face scrunch up with pleasure.

He slides his other hand up and grabs the back of your neck, "You're so fucking hot." He crashes his lips onto yours, swallowing your moans as he thrusts his fingers in and out quickly.

"Fuck, fuck. Yes yes yes." You whine out as you push your chest forward.

"Fuckin' hell. Thats it, baby." Harry groans as he watches the liquid drip from his hand and off your body onto the floor, "Never had anyone do that before."

He looks at you with a proud expression, "That was fucking perfect." His lips find their way to yours but he quickly kisses down your next and drops to his knees with a grunt, "need to see if you taste as sweet as you look."

He hooks his arms under your thighs, holding your shorts and panties to the side as he just goes for it. You throw your head back, moaning as you rest your hand on the back of his head, "Fuck, Harry."

He hums as he works his tongue in and out of your pussy, causing you to gasp and move your hips forward, "Shit, h-Harry."

Your legs lock over his shoulders and he has a tight grasp on your thighs keeping them spread as he devours you.

"I'm gonna cum.." you announce in a breathless whisper, "Shi-" you let out a loud moan, knocking stuff over as you grasp the edge of the desk.

Harry continues to eat you out through the high of your orgasm, causing your legs to shake and jolt with each time his nose bumps your clit.

He leans back, looking up at you as he continues to grip your thighs, "You taste heavenly, baby."

He moves one leg off your shoulder, kissing up to your knee as he sets it down and he gives your other leg the same treatment before standing up.

He slips his shirt off, now, you've seen Harry shirtless multiple times, but it never fails to take your breath away.

You lick your lips, still panting from the tap orgasms back to back, "You are so fucking hot."

He smirks as he pushes his sweats down, "Yeah?"

You nod and reach out for him to come closer. He smiles and moves in, resting his thumb and pointer on your chin, "Pretty sexy yourself, love."

You slip your fingers into the band of his boxers as he kisses you. You slowly pull them down and wrap your hand around his cock, pumping slowly as you make out.

"Gonna get it wet for me?" He asks smirking against your lips. You smirk back and nod, "Of course."

He steps back, helping you down off the desk before he  rests against the desk. You kiss down his chest, over his torso, and down the one v-line until your chin rests on his cock.

You plant little kisses from the base of his cock to the tip and wrap your lips around. Harry is in awe watching you so what you're doing, he doesn't say another word.

He just moans, slightly loud as you start bobbing your head in a steady rhythm. His hand rests gently on the back of your head, but pushes every so often to tell you he wants you to take him all in.

You take a deep breath through your nose and relax as much as you can before sinking your head all the way down on him.

"F-fuck, thats.." he groans and tilts his head back, "That's it."

You pull off, a string of saliva connecting you to his cock from your bottom lip. He looks down, bringing his hand around to swipe it away, "Up."

You move to your feet and he pulls you into him, kissing you roughly as he spins you around, planting you on the edge of his desk, "Thought about this the moment I seen you throwing those punches."

You smile and bring one foot up to rest on the desk, "Mm." He pushes your shorts and panties to the side and nods, "You're a fucking natural out there."

His compliment makes you blush slightly but that's quickly forget as he slips the head of his cock past your folds and into you. You gasp, digging your nails into his shoulder, "Harry."

He licks his lips before parting them, watching as his cock disappears inside of you fully. Your eyes roll shut and you moan out at him stretching you, "So big."

He smirks and grabs a handful of your hair, "You like that, huh?"

You try to nod, but the grip Harry has makes you unable to, "So fucking much."

He pulls his cock out slowly before thrusting back in, quickly building up to a harsh, but very pleasurable speed.

"Fuck." Harry groans and grips your throat with his other hand and pushes his cock fully into you, "You're going to make me cum."

That comment makes you feel incredible.

He shakes his head, smiling as he leans down to kiss you. His hand that's holding your hair, moves to hook under your thigh, bringing it up to his bicep.

He starts thrusting again, squeezing your throat slowly as he watches your face, "Does that feel good?" He rests his forehead against your temple and you whimper out a quiet, "Mhm."

"Where do you want me to cum?" He leans back, letting go of your neck, "I'm close." His thrusts slow down a little and you lay a hand on his arm that's holding your leg, "Mouth."

He moans as he pictures you on your knees, cum on your tongue and he pulls out, "Fuck, okay. Okay."

You move down to the floor, resting on your calves as you stick your tongue out, waiting for him. He jerks his cock a few times, moaning out as he watches it pool onto your tongue, sliding back towards your throat.

"Such a pretty girl." He breathes out and taps his cock on your lips as you close them to swallow. He stares down at you, smirking as you stick your tongue back out to show him that it's gone.

"Dirty girl, too." He smirks and rubs your cheek with his thumb, "Come on. I'll buy dinner tonight." He winks and helps you stand up.

He pulls you in by your waist and kisses you. You smile and laugh slightly against his lips, "Before we do that, I need to change."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckle, "Why's that?"

You roll your eyes and push his shoulder gently, "You know exactly why, Mr. Styles." You walk over and grab your bag, shuffling through to grab a new pair of panties and shorts, "Could have just taken them off."

He shrugs, "I'll take them off next time."

——

Thank you for the request and thank you for being so patient. Hope you liked it!

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Hero

Warnings mature: mention of abuse, harm, guilt, lots of fluff at the end, gore, manipulation- please don't read if any of these things are sensitive to you. Thank you(:

A/N: this was fairly hard for me to write such “abusive” topics. It’s not for those sensitive so please do not read if sensitive to any abusive scenarios. This was requested but requester preferred to remain anonymous.

©️please do not copy or translate my work.

-

"Jack, please, for the love of god me and Harry are just friends!"

Your voice trembled ever so slightly as you stare at the man in front of you, his jaw clenched, his hands curled into fists and his eyes practically black... wait- no. They were jet black. This was the Jack that terrified you. When you first met him which was over two years ago he was such a sweetheart, a loving charming man but then something switched within him and he turned into this angry beast of a man who hated anyone you got close to, even women... he despised it and what frightened you most was the fact that you knew he was starting to hate you.

"How many times?" He spat out and you stared at him shocked, your brows raising "excuse me?" You asked in complete shock. "I asked how many times!" He raised his voice getting closer and closer to you backing you up into the wall and you let out a shaky breath "how many fucking times did you sleep with Harry?" He asked and you blinked, confused "what- wait- I never slept with him he's just my friend! I promise!" You exclaimed practically begging him to believe you, his nostrils flared as he glared down at you, his breathing quickening as he seemingly resisted the urge to slap you. "I'm not a fool y/n.... So you either get fucking rid of him or I'll make you regret it. You have an hour to sort this bullshit out." he said before he brought his hand back and in one swift moment slapped you right across the cheek.

Your hand desperately cradled your burning cheek as you stared at him utterly confused at his outburst, watching as he walked away moving into the living room, the slap stung slightly but he had done much worse. You stood there for a couple of moments, words unable to find there way out of your mouth as you stood and stared. As the stinging faded you let out a shaky breath before making your way upstairs, pausing just on the third step, hearing the sound of a beer being opened. Great. You ignored it though moving upstairs as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, sitting down on your bed as you sighed softly, staring straight at Harry's contact. You didn't want to get rid of him but if you didn't you'd get hurt... you didn't want to pick Jack over him but you were scared what Jack would do to you and even Harry himself.

You took a deep breath pressing the FaceTime icon at the top of the screen and within a few seconds Harry had answered, he was sat in his car, hair messy and AirPods resting in his ears "hey stranger" he said with a beaming smile which you wished to return but you felt miserable. "hi H" you said softly, a weak smile tugging at your lips "what's wrong?" Harry asked almost instantly sensing something was wrong "um..." you cleared your throat letting out a little sigh "did j-" he started but the camera went spiralling as a few cuss words were heard from Harry's end, "oops- fuck, shit, bloody hell. Im so sorry y/n, just dropped you" he said as a soft laugh fell from your lips as you smiled, as he picked his phone back up, focusing the phone back on himself he was smiling but still looked just as concerned "sorry, continue what you were saying" he said with a little grin and you smiled "no no you were saying something," you urged and he shook his head "it really doesn't matter seems like you're in a rush anyways so you go first" he assured,

A small grateful smile formed on your face as you sighed "well, uh, you see um... I- I don't know how to tell you..." you said nervously and he studied your expression his brows knitting together "did Jack do something to you?" He suddenly asked his expression contorting into a protective anger, Harry had always despised Jack- he knew something was off with him from the get-go and you knew Harry didn't like him but you wanted to believe Jack would get better with treating you with respect but that "respectfulness" declined and declined faster than anything. A shaky sigh escaped your lips "no... no... of course not" you smiled but the look on Harry's face told you he didn't believe you "do you need me to come over? I've got no plans... I can come over and spend some time with you?" He offered 'yes' your brain immediately fought to get the first word but your heart immediately spoke "no no... it's okay- honestly. I'm okay. I promise." You said with a soft laugh acting as okay as possible but Harry wasn't stupid he could see right through you.

"Y/n you don't need to lie" he whispered to you, his tone quiet on the phone and you gazed at him, your eyes clouding over with fear and you blinked a few times "I-I'm okay. Jack just-" You said glancing up quickly as you heard a creek having to do a double take as you saw Jack standing there his hands clenched into fists and your eyes widened in fear and without any hesitation you hung up on Harry "babe-" he cut you off "don't you dare babe me you fucking bitch. Did you tell him? Did you tell him to leave you the hell alone huh? Or did you tell him something else?" He asked and you stared at him shocked "I-I-" "I- I- nothing y/n!! I gave you an hour you fucking whore." He yelled his tone aggressive and angry and as he practically ran at you, you clambered off of the bed "Jack calm down okay? I promise I didn't say anything to him" you said and he let out a laugh "don't act like I didn't hear that... are you stupid?" He grabbed your phone out of your hands throwing it down on the ground before he stomped on it, his fist flying towards you and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly, feeling the vibration from the wall as he punched a hole into the wall just beside your head "I told you if you didn't end things with him then you'd regret it! Didn't I you stupid bitch" he spat out, your voice silent as you stared at him, you wanted to stick up for yourself but you were unable to your breathing heavy and uneven.

"I don't want to hurt you y/n! I want to love you! But you're letting this prick Harry get in the middle of us!" He screamed, seemingly having a massive tantrum right in front of you, his tantrum turning into a fit of rage as he began throwing things around the room, making holes in every wall possible, "HARRY IS MY FRIEND" you screamed having enough of his bullshit- you were fed up to the back teeth of his childish behaviour. Your yelling made him freeze, his hands dropping to his side as he looked like a deranged animal with rabies, practically foaming at the mouth with anger his eyes a terrifying colour.... He took slow steps towards you "please just stop. You're scaring me" You said more calmly and he stopped just in front of you staring into your eyes before he smiled, his face soft and loving but his eyes were a raging ocean "I love you" he whispered his hands gently cupping your face as he smiled pulling you close to him as he pressed a kiss to your lips "oh I love you" he said wrapping his arms around you swaying you back and forth in his arms "I'm sorry for scaring you" he whispered into your ear pressing a delicate kiss to your temple.

"You're so beautiful... so gorgeous... and you know what else?" You looked up into his eyes watching smiling softly, the darkness returning to his eyes making your skin crawl "and a dumb fucking bitch." He spat out, his fingers curling into your hair as he threw you down onto your ground and as you tried to fight back- getting onto your knees, he kicked your back forcing you to fall down your face hitting the floor harshly as his foot began repeatedly kicking at your stomach each kick becoming less and less painful, oxygen burning to find a way into your lungs, words of anger left his mouth as he used you as his kicking bag every little movement from you earning a kick in the face as you begged him to stop your begging soon dying down as you began to whimper in agony "I loved you! You wasted it all on him you slag" he said and as you felt like you were floating into an unconscious state, the kicking stopped and you forced your eyes open watching as a blurry figure began to beat the living shit out of Jack.

Harry tapped Jack on the shoulder and as the shorter male turned around stopping his abuse, Harry's hand adorned with rings swung to punch Jack right in the face, the rings leaving marks on his cheeks as Harry stared at Jack emotionless. He was pissed. In a rage. He wouldn't let Jack get away with this. Jack attempted to punch Harry but Harry grabbed a hold of his wrist, twisting it in an agonisingly painful way, before Harry swiped his foot under jacks forcing him to fall to the floor,  a cry of pain falling from the males mouth. "Shut the hell up" he said before he knelt down grabbing a hold of jacks hair pulling him up forcing him to stand back up "oh they're gonna enjoy you in prison" Harry said and before Jack could even respond Harry had shoved him back down onto the door, his foot then mercilessly kicking at jacks body, before Harry stood over Jack kneeling down onto one knees, his hand wrapping around jacks throat as he began choking him making it impossible for him to breathe as Jack gaped and gasped for breath scratching his nails into Harry's tattooed arm to try and break himself free "are you going to do this again?" Harry asked painfully slowly making Jack gasp as he wriggled "are you?!" Harry yelled in his face making Jack shake his head repeatedly "no! No! I-I-I promise" he said and Harry kept his hand around jacks throat before letting go and grabbing a fistful of his shirt before using his free hand to punch Jack in the face. Over. And over. And over again until blood pooled out of his nose, in those moments harry didn't care, even if he himself went to prison he wouldn't care. "You sorry bastard." He spat out before continuing to reign punches down onto his face.

Your vision remained blurry as a dark tall figure stood up straight before he got closer and closer to you "y/n? Hey you with me?" His voice was oh so familiar "harry" you whispered weakly and he nodded "that's me." He said and without even saying anything you threw your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly "careful" he urged in a loving tone and you looked into his eyes letting out a shaky breath as the tears began flowing "I'm so sorry... I-I you're gonna go to prison.. I-I cant lose you.... Harry please" you sobbed out and Harry looked into your eyes before he took your face into his hands, a slight flinch coming from you as you were afraid but he gently rubbed his thumbs against your cheeks assuring you that you were okay "if I go to prison that's okay..." he whispered and you frowned "why? Why is it okay? Nothings okay" you whispered tears falling continuously and he made you look into your eyes "because you're okay." He said, a confused expression forming on your face "I don't care whether I go to prison because you're safe... you're alive and that means it's all worth it." He said and you looked at him your expression soft and he pressed a kiss to your forehead

"It was all worth it y/n."

You loved him so Incredibly much and wanted nothing more than for him to stay with you forever he was your safe haven. He held your face in his hands "you're safe with me okay? You've got no reason to be sorry. I promise I'll take care of you." He said keeping an arm around you as he took his phone out calling 999 and before he could even press dial Jack began trying to get up to make an escape, and Harry's tall frame immediately stood up "stay the hell down you sorry fuck." He demanded and without even having to say anything more Jack looked at him with a scared look before falling back to the floor almost dramatically,

Harry then crouched down beside you once again, his arm encircling around you as he pulled you close, his fingers rubbing up and down your back as he explained to the 999 dispatcher what had happened and within minutes a police car had arrived, two officers getting Harry's statement and then yours before they arrested Jack the asshole being removed from the room "would you like us to call an ambulance?" The officer asked and you immediately shook your head, Harry beginning to disagree with you but you shot him a pleasing look and he simply fell silent "no thank you, officer. Thank you for your time." He said holding you close and as the front door slammed shut Harry slowly turned to look at you "you're injured darling, you need an ambulance." He said softly and you shook your head "please harry... I just need to clean myself up and then we can see what my injuries look like from there on okay?" You said softly and he nodded "okay."

"Careful easy does it" he murmured helping you stand holding onto your hands tightly before his arm encircled around your waist "I-I really don't want to clean myself in here... please can we go to your place?" You asked almost afraid he would say no and as he looked into your eyes his expression softened as he simply smiled "of course we can." He said and you smiled gratefully. You knew it would be painful to go downstairs and Harry knew that too and without even asking him whether he'd happily carry you, he simply and carefully picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carefully made his way downstairs making sure each step was trodden on carefully so you wouldn't feel any pain. He cared so deeply about you and wanted you to be okay.

~

The drive to Harry's house was quiet, Harry's jaw clenched, his eyes flicking towards you ever so slightly every now and then almost making sure you were okay. He had noticed how your head was lulling back and forth, he knew you couldn't sleep without sound and so he very subtly turned the radio on "get some rest darling, I'll wake you when we're there." He said and almost as if you needed his permission to fall asleep your head fell gently onto the window, the coolness cooling your skin as you fell into a deep yet peaceful sleep.

What felt like seconds later a gentle hand shook your shoulder as you fluttered your eyes open gazing at Harry "we're here..." he said softly and you let out a little groan, your body stiff and achy as you tried to undo your seatbelt, your arms being so tired and Harry noticed that, and instead of making you feel bad about it he simply unbuckled you before making his way round to the passenger side of the car, pulling the door open as he leant down hooking his hands under your arms as he carefully pulled you out, wrapping your arm gently around his shoulders as he began helping you into the house.

As you got into his bathroom he helped you sit on the toilet seat "would you like a bath?" He asked softly and you looked at him tiredly "I... I..." you wanted to of course you did but you knew he'd see you naked as there was no way you'd get in and out of the bath by yourself "there's no pressure sweetheart... only if you want" he said gently his hand assuringly rubbing against your arm "if you don't mind" you said softly and he smiled "of course I don't mind" he said before standing up as he turned the hot and cold taps on before picking up two bottles of bubble bath as he smiled at you "lavender or marshmallows?" He asked and you smiled pointing at the lavender one and he smiled "good choice" he then unscrewed the cap before pouring the silky liquid into the bath before lowering his hand into the water and circulating all the water around creating mass amounts of bubbles and once the bath was at a warm temperature and at the right level he turned the taps off and turned to look at you struggling to get your top off, his expression softening "do you want some help?" He asked softly and you looked at him scared worry he'd judge you, say something to make you feel worse but this was Harry... Harry was the man you'd trust with your whole being and slowly you nodded your head "please"

He then got closer to you "can you lift your arms for me?" He asked gently and you did, a dull ache in your bones but it was okay. He then lifted your T-shirt over your head discarding it onto the floor, "trousers too?" He asked and you were able to unbutton them but you struggled to pull them down and he noticed that, his hands gently tugging your trousers down and once they were off he must've sensed the insecurity pooling out of you the slight trembles of your hands and the slight shake in your breathing only convinced him more and his hands took yours as he gazed into your eyes "hey... this is a judgement free zone I assure you..." he said and you looked at him sadly "it's not you." You whispered and he nodded allowing you to continue your words "Jack, he would call me names... slut... slag... fat... bitch... everything a-and I- I think he cheated on me... he must've... I mean who wants a wasteful bitch like myself anyways" you said immediately earning a disapproving look from Harry "no. We don't talk about ourselves like that. You're not a bitch and you're not a waste. You're beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you." He said and tears soon began freely flowing down your cheeks "you don't understand H" you whispered and he looked into your eyes "what don't I understand?" He asked softly "I hate myself" you spat out a hurt expression forming on his face but he immediately pushed it away "well then... I'll make it my mission to make sure you'll find that love for yourself all over again."

"I won't look I promise." He said softly, helping you unclasp your bra, he stood behind you his eyes remaining on the clasps of your bra and nothing else and like he promised he didn't look, turning around to give you your privacy as you got into the bath, but after a second or two he heard a desperate sob falling from your lips "help me" you said softly feeling useless and he turned around his hands immediately holding onto your hips to keep you stable, he kept his eyes on your eyes not making you feel uncomfortable what so ever "I-I can't get in" you whispered and he smiled "I'll help you don't worry" he assured his arm securely wrapping around your stomach before he effortlessly lifted you up and into the bath, the warm water immediately sending tingles up and down your spine, his hands holding onto yours as he helped you sit down "easy does it... well done... good girl." He praised with a soft loving smile.

You sunk into the warmth of the water fluttering your eyes shut as he drowned a flannel in warm bubbly water before lifting it out before wringing out the access water before he knelt down onto his knees resting his forearm against the edge of the bathtub, using one corner of the flannel to gently rub the blood from your face, his touch gentle and soft. Your vision was starting to get better, the fuzziness leaving as Harry became a lot more clear his soft comforting features bringing warmth to you as you knew you were safe. As you sat up ever so slightly he began to wash your back, you fluttered your eyes shut your breathing calm and soft as he continued cleaning you, washing your body for you giving you his undivided attention.

"Your cheek" you said, horrified, noticing the purple-ish bruise forming on his cheek "it's nothing don't worry" he said looking into your eyes, your wet hand gently reaching out cupping his cheek as you brushed your thumb against the bruise "I'm so sorry... I never meant for him to hurt you" you said softly and he smiled at you "I said it's okay. He's an unhinged crazy bastard. He isn't your problem anymore I promise." He said softly gazing into your eyes, oh how his lips looked so kissable.

~

He helped you stand out of the bath, opening a towel as he wrapped it around you and instead of letting go he simply held you to his chest, lifting you out of the bath until your feet hit the ground again, he held the towel at the back for you so it wouldn't fall down and as you took it holding it around yourself he let go "I'll go get you some clothes okay" he said softly and you nodded gratefully. After a second or two he came back with a pair of boxers and a baggy T-shirt of his "I'll leave you in here to get changed okay?" "No- please don't" you said softly and he looked at you "I don't want to be alone" you said and he smiled nodding his head "okay." He said softly. He kept his back turned to you as you put on his T-shirt and boxers and once you were decent he turned back round to you "you must be tired, yeah? A warm beds awaiting your arrival" he said with a soft smile before he wrapped his arm around your waist leading you to the bed, his king sized bed was comfy and warm... it was very comforting to be honest.

As you laid down he got in beside you, turning off the night light the light from the bathroom being the only light but you didn't mind. "If you need anything... let me know okay" he said softly, his breath fanning against your face as you nodded your head "okay, thank you Harry... seriously." You said gently and he smiled, even though the room was dark you were both still able to see one another "no problem... sleep well okay? I love you." He said and you gazed into his eyes "I love you too Harry." You said quietly but you meant it, and instead of either of you falling asleep or even moving you both got closer to each other "just hold me, please" you whispered and he happily obliged his arms wrapped securely around you, his forehead nestling against yours, your parted lips practically brushing against his, both your noses lightly brushing against each other and slowly but surely his lips sealed against yours, your eyes fluttering shut as your hand slid up to cup against his cheek, the kiss being gentle but passionate, soft but hungry. Tears of relief slowly slid down your cheeks as you continued to kiss him, his kisses soon moving up your cheek as he kissed away your tears "I love you so much so so much." You whispered and he smiled down at you "and I love you just as much my love." He said the pad of his thumb brushing against your skin slowly and gently "I love you more than life itself... I'll never stop loving you." He said and the more you stared into his eyes the more you fell in love.

"But as much as I love you.. you need to sleep... you need to rest. Okay? We can do whatever you want whenever you want but I just want you to heal okay?" He said quietly and you nodded snuggling further into him, your head resting against his chest as you listened to his heartbeat. His lips etching little kisses onto your forehead as he played with your hair ever so slightly, his fingers making patterns into your back as he kept you close your eyes fluttering shut as you fell into a deep peaceful sleep, the sound of his heartbeat and breathing lulling you into a perfect sleep... Harry was your hero... Harry was your second chance... Harry was a sense of hope.

[cherryblossomwriting]

Dream come true

Summary: “Harry finds Y/N reading smut about him on Tumblr”

W.C: 1751 (Ummm ... .I was gonna make this short but guess I got carried away, anyways enjoy!!)

Tags: Singer!Boyfriend!Harry x Shy!Girlfriend!Y/n 

Note: I don't know if this really classifies as somnophilia but I guess I'll mention it anyways. 

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“Hey babe, whatcha doing?” Harry asked as he entered our shared bedroom. “N-nothing” Y/n said as she quickly switched off her phone and threw it to the bed. “That was weird. Anyways, do you want to watch a movie? I know I've been busy with the album lately and figured I couldn’t spend a lot of time with you these past few weeks.” he asked sweetly. “Sure babe. What do you wanna watch?” I asked. “The notebook?” he asked. “We have already watched it like 50 times, baby. But sure!” 

Harry and Y/n were seated on the couch. Harry was watching the movie, while Y/n was distracted on her phone AGAIN. Harry’s eyes travelled towards Y/n, seeing the slight smirk on her face while she was doing something on her phone. Harry got suspicious. A thousand thoughts swirling in his head. “Is she cheating on me? Just because I have been busy these few weeks she decides to cheat on me? Am I not good enough for her? I love her with all my being, please I hope she isn't cheating on me.” He shook off all the negative thoughts and went back to watching the movie. After about half an hour, he hears soft snores besides him, seeing y/n already fast asleep. “God, she looks prettier than the angels in heaven,” he thought to himself. When he saw her phone on the side of her right hand, he just couldn't help himself but find out what has got her attention for so long now. Now don't get him wrong, he is not the kind of person to check his girlfriend's phone but he couldn't help himself. When he swiped up, her phone unlocked to the thing that has got her so distracted. He was not expecting what his eyes just witnessed. Harry heaved a sigh of relief when he realised it wasn't a guy that had got her so distracted but rather it was….. Tumblr. Harry always knew Y/n was a book person. So he didn't care to read the book she was reading. But before he could switch off the phone and kiss Y/n (because she wasn't cheating on him), something on her phone caught his attention. Which was…. His name in the book she was reading. He quickly figured out that it was in fact not a book that she was reading but it was smut that too written about him!  A smirk formed on his face. Fuck he has bever felt this horny and narcissistic in his life. Nothing gets him going as much as knowing that his girlfriend likes getting off his smut. All his life, Harry knows he has been smoking hot and he is also aware of how a lot of his fans and admirers write smut about him. Although he has not liked being sexualised so much all his life, knowing his not-so-innocent girlfriend likes to read about him has him on a chokehold right now. 

He decides to read the smut. “Harry ties you up to the bed with ropes, as his ring-clad fingers find their way to your delicate neck. He chokes you as his other hand, travels down to your soaked panties. He fingers you till you moan out with pleasure. He then fucks you hard and fast with his big, thick and girthy cock. He cums so much in your that your little pussy couldn't take it all. He quickly grabs a pussy plug and stuffs it in you to keep his creamy cum inside your pussy.” Harry’s eyes widen as he reads all of this. He is shocked at the fact that you like to read such stuff. You were always shy and coy in front of him. You and Harry have an amazing sex life but it is not very kinky. You were into a lot of kinks but were just too shy to bring it up to him. Although you knew he would never say no to you, you just didn't want to bombard him with a lot of things. So your next best solution was to read kinky smuts about him and get yourself off to them. Harry never thought of you as being a kinky girl. You were shy and loved reading books, so he assumed you were the kind of girl who liked when a man “makes love to you” rather than “fucking you.” 

Harry had a devilish idea. He decided to surprise you by recreating the exact scene written in the smut. So he decided to carefully carry your bridal style and take you to your shared bedroom. He gently places you on the bed and you stir onto your side, not caring too much because you were too sleepy. Harry didn't really have rope at home, but decided to get his ties and tie you up with it. He ties both your wrists to the bed with his black tie. He decides to wake you up by choking you. He starts off gentle just to make sure you are comfortable with it. His fingers reach upto your neck and his fingers press around the sides of your neck. Felling a bit of pressure on your neck, you open your eyes to see Harry with a devilish smirk on his face. “What are you doing baby?” you said with a small smile on your face. “Giving you exactly what you wished for, baby. Didn't know my love liked to be treated like a used, cheap whore. Open your mouth, NOW.” You were a bit confused as to what he was talking about but you didn't care at the moment. You were liking this dominant side of him. You quickly opened your mouth. Harry pulled down his brief to free his hard cock. The tip was red, hot and angry. It was leaking with his precum. “Already salivating like a ready slut. If I knew how kinky you were earlier I would have stuffed you with my cock harder.” 

He soon pushed his cock in your mouth, not giving you enough time to get used to it. He pulled out completely and then quickly pushed his entire cock back inside, causing you to gag around it. “You better not gag bitch, you asked for this. You like taking big cocks in your slutty, little mouth, don't ya?” he said. 

After fucking his cock in your mouth for a while, he decides to finger you like it was mentioned in the smut. He pulls his cock out from your mouth and you groan at the loss of contact. “I don't want to come in your mouth, I will fill that tight, little pussy of yours, but before that I have to get you all wet and ready for me.” He spreads your legs open and groans as he sees a dark patch in the crotch area of your light pink colour panties. “Didn't know sucking my cock gets you so wet, baby” He licks the wet spot on the panties, moaning at the taste of you. He hooks his fingers in your panties and tears them open. You have never seen this wild side of him so you weren't used to it but you definitely weren't complaining. He starts licking you while he enters one of his fingers in your pussy. He slowly starts fucking it in and out of you. He soon adds one more and then one more and then one more till he has four of his fingers in you. “You are taking my fingers like a champ, baby. Don't even need lube for it," he compliments you. He is plunging his fingers in your at you speed that didn't even seem humanly possible. You come so hard you swear you saw the stars. It was almost like you had blacked out with pleasure. When you opened your eyes, you saw Harry covered in your juices. Did you just squirt? None of your ex-boyfriends were able to make you come let alone squirt. Harry seemed so proud of you and himself. “Didn't know she was a squirter too,” Harry comments.  

He couldn't handle the heat, so he stuffed his cock in one quick motion inside you. Both of you were on cloud 9. You never realised how sexy his moans sounded. So manly yet soft. He looks at the place where his cock and your pussy were connected. His eyes roll to the back of his head, when he sees a mixture of your cum and his pre-cum forming a white, creamy ring at the base of his cock. You come for the second time that night. Snapping his hips in you, he soon cums hard. All his stress and tension for the past few weeks left his body as he fills you up. He slowly pulls out as he watches his cum drip out of your sensitive hole. He quickly grabs the pussy plug (like mentioned in the smut) and inserts it in your pussy to keep his cum in there for the night. “Want to keep my cum in you for the night. So when you wake up and are not able to walk you will be reminded of who fucked you so hard last night. You soon realised that he had recreated the scene from the smut you were reading earlier. Your eyes widened as you realised. “Did you read the sm-” before you could complete the sentence, he answers with a quick yes. “Are you mad?” you asked him kind of terrified. “Why would I be made, baby? It kind of turned me on to be honest. Also, it did lead to the best sex I have ever had.” he casually answers as he takes your head and rests it on his chest. “Yeah, I never knew I could squirt honestly,” you said shyly. “Well, what can I say, they don't write smut about me just like that. I am quite talented and gifted in bed.” he said boasting about himself. “That is true, H.” you said. “How about we start recreating some of your other favourite smuts too?” he asked with mischief in his voice. “Really, I feel like I'm dreaming right now. I would love that.” you said as you kissed his soft lips. You soon fell asleep to the sound of his heart beat. He kisses the top of your head with a bright smile on his face knowing he had found his perfect woman for life.         

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

(Note: I am accepting new requests and prompts, so please do send them to me if you want me to write about it. Also let me know what you think in the comments)

Lots of love 

xoxo

[writingsfromhome]

Dos and Don’ts of H Styles

A/N: this story was literally born out of the wifi incident happening to me. It was a weird experience lol but of course it inspired me to write a story around it. Basically you used to work for Harry as a PA and your life was hell. You bump into him in the present but before it unfolds we need to know what happened in the past.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

——————————————

I watch as Winnie types into her phone the number of the guy who’d just hit on her.

“And that’s with a y?” She looks up at him with doe eyes.

“Yea,” he falls for it. He was cute, and she worked a lot I didn’t blame her for taking who she could get. His accent also helped. “What’re you doin’ now?”

“Well,” her eyes slide to me. “Hanging with my girlfriend here.”

He nods at me and I smile, holding up the almost empty glass. “We were just about done for the night though.”

“We were?” Winnie checks in with me.

“Mhm,” I give her an encouraging nod.

Both Winnie and I were employed by musician-turned-actor Oretta Smith. Winnie was her nanny—or childcare companion as she called it, and I worked as Oretta’s executive assistant. It was full-time and demanding as hell but ever since Oretta had her first child a couple months back I’d gotten a lot more breathing room as she minimized her public life and stayed close to home.

This long weekend Oretta was staying with her in-laws and asked us to take it off. I’d already requested the weekend off knowing we were in London but being off at the same time as Winnie was impossible so we’d gone out to celebrate and let loose—9pm and only 2 drinks in, both of us had already started talking about the comfort of our beds. Until flirty dude came up to Winnie.

“What do you say?” Winnie’s new date asks her.

“Aw shucks alright,” Winnie flashes her beautiful smile and hops off the stool. I don’t even see her drop the bills onto the table as she hugs me goodbye and leaves until it’s too late. She’d covered for both of us. Well I’d get her back next time.

I finish the rest of my drink, eyes flicking to the reruns of tonight’s soccer game. This wasn’t the fanciest bar—it was quite homely compared to the ones Winnie and I often found ourselves at. But it was one I used to go to when I worked in London just over a year ago. Being back in the city, despite all the awful memories, pulled me towards the nostalgic comfort of it.

I remember the many dates with my now-ex, the random nights I’d actually get off, and drown myself in drink to forget about my awful employer. Or the birthday and milestone celebrations—especially the ones I started to miss near the end.

I consider walking the few streets over to my old flat. Coincidentally the job I’d gotten wasn’t far from home. The upside was that it made dealing with “emergency” texts from my employer a lot quicker but the downside was it grouped all the traumas I experienced in this beautiful city to a few blocks. I didn’t miss it.

I cut my memory lane rabbit-hole short and decide it was time to order an Uber and get out of here; I had an early train to catch tomorrow.

The bars on my phone flicker up and down as I open the app and continue to refresh it over and over. But my signal remains unstable.

“Stupid phone,” I mutter. I had to update my provider while I was here asap.

“‘Scuse me?” I wave down someone serving drinks. “Have you got wifi here?”

“Yep we do!” She smiles. “Name’s The Violinist and the password’s capital p….”

Her voice grows far away as my blood runs cold and I stare at the list of available wifi networks. I feel myself nod a thank you when she stops talking and she leaves taking the password with her while I’m stuck staring.

My networks:

🔗H’s iPhone

I want to duck down and run away, not spend another second around anything to do with that era of my life. But I also want to hunt him down and show him how much better I was doing after him, despite.

The second instinct wins. Kind of.

I don’t hide away. I scan the dimly lit room and try to spot the familiar head of hair but it’s on the third try that I spot him. And it’s probably because his hair is barely an inch long.

He must’ve cut it recently, I’m surprised. Him without his hair was like Harry Potter without his scar.

The feelings are instantaneous though. The loathing and the need to cry. My heart continues to race as I burn a hole into the side of his head.

He was the devil incarnate and I had thought about him for a second too long just now. And now here he was. What the fuck was a guy like him doing here?

I remember the awful times; the casually cruelty and the late nights he would make me work. His constant criticism. The way my life fell apart because of him. The way I could wring his neck with very little incentive at any given moment.

He had turned my whole life upside down. He ruined me.

Harry Styles wasn’t the sweetheart everyone painted him out to be.

And yet, a flash of a feeling, a fleeting memory I try to keep locked away pushes to the front of my mind.

“Fuck no,” I tell myself. There was no room for fondness when it came to the devil.

About 2 years ago:

I straighten out the blazer, wondering if I should be chic and roll the sleeves up a bit or just keep them down. My reflection shows a nervous mousy girl that’s trying too hard. I throw my hair into a ponytail instead and feel a more like myself. Just as the elevator doors ding open.

I’m in the penthouse suite I would be working out of for the next however long; it was my first day on the job and I was still sorting out my nervous to excited ratio.

After looking for months, I’d landed a PA gig for up-and-coming rockstar Harry Styles. It was a dream come true and everyone was ecstatic for me, most of all my boyfriend who’d helped me land the role.

My boyfriend, Grayson, was a personal trainer to a lot of big names and he’d been keeping his ear to the ground for me. We met a few years ago at the gym of course, I’d still been a student and he worked part-time at the student gym. Back then he was still working to get a better client list.

We’d clicked pretty quickly and Grayson, who was anything but shy, asked me out. Soon after he was telling me he had feelings for me and I’d felt them echo back the same. He was my biggest supporter and when I told him I wanted to take this career path seriously he’d been the first to show me what steps to take to get there.

My true dream was to become a publicist and work with celebrities, but fresh out of post-grad everyone told me I’d need to dive head first and get my hands dirty. And I’d have to do that by finding a PA role for a publicist or an industry person.

“Y/n?” My name interrupts my thoughts. It comes from a disembodied head peeking out from a doorway. “You are y/n right?”

“Yes!” I hurry over. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yes. I’m Mr. Styles’ exec assistant, I’m only here for the next,” he looks down at his watch. “Half hour perhaps? So let’s get you sorted before I head out.”

“Oh okay. Sure,” my ears ring, I was going to be alone on my first day. I didn’t even know he had an executive assistant. What was the difference between him and me? What if I screw up and this guy was part of the fallout plan? Shit. “Is Mr. Styles in?”

“Not at the moment, he’ll be in before noon. He has a few appointments this morning. Typically you’d be going with him but he left before you arrived so…next time. Make sure you get any paperwork he received from the appointments and file them in here-“ he points to a room with a filing cabinet. Like an actual cabinet. This was a tight ship. “You sound American. Are you American?”

“Yep,” I debate whether to tell him I stayed after doing my degree here but decide to keep the yapping to a minimum.

I continue following the EA—who I should get the name of, as he points out rooms and overlaps it with info about Mr. Styles’ schedule and routines. A lot of info. My brain felt like it was barely holding on.

I think about the man I was now working for, the one who came into the interview for a brief 10 minutes. Surely that laid-back guy wasn’t the anal mystery man I was getting all these instructions for.

The interview itself had gone pretty smoothly apart from the fact that I nervous-laughed a few times too many. I had gone silent when The Harry Styles had walked into the office. He’d sat beside me at the round table, slouching slightly and flashing me a reassuring smile—I had felt my shoulders dip down immediately.

“So it’s y/n right? I’m pronouncing that correctly?” He’d said in his perfectly charming accent.

“Yes, it’s so nice to meet you officially.” I had to tamp down every urge to gush over him. I was a professional. I was zen.

“So y/n,” he says my name so casually and yet I feel myself lean closer to hear him say it again. “I’ve seen a couple of you come in here for the PA role. What makes you different then?”

Think think, just be calm and think!

“Well I’m a very passionate person so I put my all into everything I do. That would include this job, and in turn you’d benefit by getting peace of mind knowing I’m tackling whatever behind the scenes items that need to get done to get you where you need to go.”

“Well said,” he says with a smile that says he knew he was very good looking. “Now trust is a big factor in this relationship.”

As he talks I forget his manager is even in this room. I’m swept up in the hazy green of his eyes.

“We’ve done the background checks and all that—right?” He looks to his manager who was interviewing me and gets a nod. “But how can you reassure me. My staff gets approached by the media daily for any info on me. What’s to say you don’t sell out.”

“I would never,” I didn’t even think of that being an option. “Confidentiality and trust is the biggest pillar of this role and I take it very seriously. You’re like, the biggest celeb of the last year but I know you’re also a person and I wouldn’t betray that. On a person level.”

“So even if you had a really bad day, say I had gotten you to do some impossible tasks. And you’re heading out head full of steam and you get approached by a reporter. £5k for an exclusive.”

I shake my head. “As tempting as it would be, professional ethics reign over any of that.”

“I believe you y/n,” his eyes flicker down to my file. “Good references. We’ll be in touch.”

Now my eyes roam around the small room I’m meant to work out of. It’s the size of 1.5 supply closets with half the walls filled with shelves and cabinets. There’s a small desk but I wasn’t sure how often I’d be sitting at it. All the PAs I’d ever connected with always complained about the amount of time you spend on your feet. That’s why I’d opted to buy myself runners when I got the job.

“Any questions—mind you I have 1 minute for them before I’m off? There’s a suit I have to sort out.” The EA turns to me when we circle back to my office/supply closet.

“Oh,” a million race through my mind. Nothing that would fit in a minute. “I um, I guess I didn’t catch your name?”

He seems surprised at that, and then he laughs. “Oh you’re a doll. This place is gonna eat you alive. I’m Riley and tip for you—don’t be so eager to please. Do your job. Do it well. But you’re not here to be liked or make friends alright?”

He laughs again when he looks at my face. He hands me an iphone and tells me it’s programmed with everything and everyone I needed, then waves goodbye leaving me in a confused spot.

I wasn’t naïve, I knew what working in this industry was like but I was could swear I’d landed a good gig with Harry Styles. And meeting the man himself in the interview had confirmed it.

Maybe Riley was just jaded by too many long hours.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. A text from Grayson: good luck on your first day babe. let me know how it goes.

I only have time to heart it when I hear the elevator open in the foyer. I rush out just for Harry to brush past me and his manager following, chattering away about something.

I follow from behind and watch as he heads to the kitchen. Riley had shown me what he laid out on the island and how I should do it going forward. And like two magnets Harry reaches for the exact bottle Riley mentioned. He downs the smoothie and then collapses onto the barstool.

“But don’t forget what she was saying about the single needing to be global. Sure your fanbase would love it but would the people who hate you have to admit it’s good.”

“I make it for my fans not for the wankers that hate me,” Harry says and his voice is rich like caramel.

“You know what we mean.” His manager suddenly turns directly to me. “Can you contact the studio and let them know to push Harry’s 1pm to 3?”

“Oh,” I didn’t even know they knew I was here. They gave no acknowledgement until now. “Of course. Um, could I just get the paperwork from this morning too? The appoint-“

“Yep,” his manager unhauls the items in his hands. The whole time Harry stares out the window. I’m handed a stack of papers and I carry them to the office.

My hands are shaking when I put them down and I feel a lump in my throat. What was wrong with me? Why was I reacting this way?

I find the studio contact in the phone Riley gave me and let them know. They’re suspicious at first but accept the reschedule. I leave the paperwork for later, figuring I might be needed now.

But the rest of the morning I’m unacknowledged save by a few requests from Harry’s manager. I spend some time looking through the calender in the phone that’s pre-programmed with Harry’s entire life. It’s packed except for this Sunday. I wonder if it was actually free or just hidden from me since it was my one day off.

“You’ve got a passport haven’t you…?” It’s the first time Harry’s spoken to me. He’s changed into a hoodie and shorts, his manager is nowhere to be seen, and I’ve just bitten into a granola bar—the first thing I’d had since my morning coffee.

“Y/n.” I try to swallow the bite whole but at the last minute push it to the side to try to answer. “Erm yeah. I haven’t got it on me though.”

“Right. Y/n. Start carrying it. I’ll need you with me on Thursday I have a morning meeting in Léon and since Riley’s going to be sorting out something for my New York trip in a couple weeks he can’t make it.”

“Yes. I will. Do you need me to prepare anything else for the trip? I’m not sure if you’ve packed or-“

“It’s just a meeting.” He cuts me off. He pulls out his phone, dismissing me.

I swallow the knot in my throat once more.

I go with Harry to the studio since his manager is meeting us there. Alone in the car with him, the silence feels stuffy.

“I never got the opportunity to say thank you by the way,” I try to open up a conversation. All he was doing was looking out the window surely I wasn’t interrupting anything.

“What?” He stares right through me.

“Um, I’m just saying thank you. For the job.”

He nods.

I stay silent for the rest of the ride.

The studio is quiet, which makes sense when I think about it but upon entering an actual room I change my mind. The noise assaults my ears and I nearly jump at the volume but my hand gripping the doorknob keeps me in place.

People swarm around Harry.

“I need my tablet and my notebook,” Harry says amidst the small chaos.

What the fucks was he talking about. “Sorry?”

“My tablet and notebook,” His face darkens and so does my mood. Nobody told me! But maybe I should’ve asked oh my god.

“I don’t have it,” I say lamely.

“Any time I’m in the studio I need those two things. You need to get me my tablet and my notebook.” He speaks like a robot.

“I-I’ll head back,” I get my bag again. “Tablet and notebook, is there anything else?”

He looks angrier than I thought. He sticks his hands in his pocket, shuffles something in his hand before handing it over. “You may as well get lunch. Keep that card on you for business costs.”

I open my mouth to ask what he might want but he turns away as soon as I take the card and I’ve already fucked up royally so I decide to wing it.

In the car I consider googling what Harry Styles ate for lunch and instead will the ever living shit out of myself not to cry.

I scroll through the phone, debating if calling Riley for help would be a mistake. Going through every app for help I realize the countless notes in the app.

Morning Routines, says one. It lists things I should do when the mornings were spent at home, in studio, abroad, in a hotel, or if I walk into a “morning-after” morning. Jeez.

Another has checklists for what to do when travelling, how-to for routine appointments I should be booking, routine people I should be calling.

Why didn’t I look at this before. Right there is one called Studio Days and in bold it says what to bring.

I was an idiot. A big fat idiot.

I try my luck and search lunch. Sure enough a note with possible lunch places in cities across the world pops up.

It was a How-to guide for Mr. Styles.

Whoever put this shit together was an angel. I owed them my life.

I decide to be proactive, sorting lunch out to be delivered to the studio while the car drops me off. I run to the room Riley had said was the home studio. Sure enough I spot the tablet and a few notebooks, I grab all 3. I also grab the charger and ignore the bag of weed chilling on the arm of the chair.

What to do when he’s too drunk / What to do for Interview Days / What to do when he won’t answer the door or the phone / Day-off checklist / Social media checklist.

The dos and don’ts go on and on as I scroll through on the ride back. This was going to be my homework and by the end of the week I was gonna be a genius.

I swipe away and check if I had missed any folders containing precious info. Just the trash.

Out of curiosity I open it and there’s only 1 sitting inside: the donts of working for Harry Styles

I open it:

-don’t let one nice day fool you into forgetting he’s an arse and your employer

-don’t expect any gratitude from a narcissist

-don’t fall for his charm

-don’t shit where you sleep. no matter how tempting

-when he pisses you off which he will, don’t mouth off. what happens next is worse than being fired. which he won’t do because he’s the devil and he will want to keep you around after treating you like shite

-don’t think he’s chill. he’s anything but. follow the checklists and the rules.

-don’t have a life. actually this is a CAN’T. YOU CAN’T HAVE A LIFE WORKING FOR THE DEVIL. LEAVE AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN UNLESS YOU HATE YOURSELF

I close the phone immediately, my heart thumping in my chest like a steady bass in the background of a song. What the hell did I get myself into.

***

It’s 8pm by the time I head back with Harry. The car is once again silent.

I had spent the day reviewing emails and the checklists, fielding calls and texts. His personal chef had texted to tell me dinner was prepared and in the oven to be re-heated so I figure that’s the last thing I’d do before I head home.

I’d eaten lunch standing while watching Harry sing background vocals to the album he was working on. It was hard to deny how intoxicating it was to see such a talented man work his magic. And it really was magical seeing how a song got put together.

That is until he’d sent me to get tea for the room and I’d nearly spilled half of it on myself getting enough back to the room. I was getting an electric kettle next.

I made a new note then: Reminders to do so you don’t get fired

The notes were my saving grace.

“My head is killing me,” Harry groans.

What to carry at all times: #4 paracetamol and #2 water

Checkmarked after going to the pharmacy while he was in the studio. I’d created an emergency makeup bag with essentials I could throw in my tote. I considered it a win today.

I hand the painkillers to him and he seems surprised. He replaces them with his phone.

“I don’t want to look at a screen for the rest of the night.”

“Okay.” I leave his phone beside me and try not to think of everything on it.

It vibrates a few minutes later and I leave it, not wanting to invade his privacy but he glances at me.

“Well?”

“Oh!” I lift it but it’s locked.

“1021.”

I type it in. “Um, Jeff wants to know if you’re still at the studio-“

“Reply to him.”

I do as I’m told.

“Um Mitch wants to know if you’re-“

“If it’s scheduling questions you can probably answer them without bothering me about it.”

I look up and he’s tipped his head back, eyes closed. Right. Of course I could.

I go through his schedule and find his studio time on Friday and relay it to Mitch. I respond to another text from someone asking if he was going to a gala in a couple months—his schedule said he was in LA so no. I wondered if I would also be in LA in a couple months. I wonder what Grayson would think.

Grayson, I’d had a short call with him a few hours ago and tried not to cry hearing his voice. It felt like home when the whole day felt so foreign.

I stare at the final text. The contact photo is the side profile of a gorgeous woman.

“Kimberly wants to know if you want um,” I feel my cheeks burn. “If you’re inviting her in tonight because she has a party she really wants you to go to.”

“I can’t be arsed for a party I feel like shite.” Harry says, eyes still closed. “Tell her to be at mine after 10.”

“Ok.” I type the words with a racing heart. I remember the morning-after checklist for this exact scenario. It wasn’t going to be weird soon I guess.

I heat up dinner for Harry while he showers and leave letting him know what time I’d be in tomorrow. He doesn’t even say goodbye.

I get home around the time I reckon Kimberly gets to Harry’s. The first thing I do when I see Grayson is shed a waterfall and he holds my exhausted body tight against him.

“Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” He whispers to me in bed after a shower and sandwich—I couldn’t stomach anything more.

“I need this job Gray. It’s gotta get better.”

“I reckon but it’s a steep learning curve,” he says as he traces the curve of my nose.

“I know,” I snuggle closer to him and yawn. I don’t know what he says next as I tip into sleep.

***

If the notes app manual with the dos and donts of being Harry Styles’ PA was a physical thing, imagine me swallowing it.

Every spare second I had—which I didn’t get a lot of, I was reading that thing. My fingers searched tirelessly before every scheduled and unscheduled event. And yet, I’d fucked up so many times.

It was Saturday and I was looking forward to my day off.

He had been hot and cold all week but ever since getting back from Léon he’d been nicer and I’d actually been getting home before 8.

Maybe things were going well, despite the fact that the learning curve was like climbing mount everest.

“What’s my morning look like?” Harry asks. I was sitting at his kitchen table trying to book a dinner for him next week with a friend that was in town. A friend who also happened to be big back where I was from—I hoped to catch a glimpse of her myself.

I glance up and look back down just as quickly. After a week of seeing Harry in all sorts of undress I should be used to it, but my face still flushes. Today he stands at the table in running shorts.

“Pulling it up,” I say and scan his schedule even though I had it memorized. “You’ve got a meeting at the bank in about 40 minutes and lunch with Michael.”

“Can’t my accountant take the bank meeting?”

“She’ll be there. She’s meeting you downstairs to discuss the meeting on the ride over. You need to sign off on some stuff.”

“Stuff,” Harry repeats.

I look at him, careful to train my eyes on his face. I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed at my lack of elaboration or just teasing me.

“Documents.” I correct, still unable to tell.

He look amused. “Great. Documents. I thought I’d be signing body parts.”

Was he joking? He was joking…I think.

“Right. No, we’re saving that for the tattoo shop booked for 6.”

He raises his brows, a slow smile spreading across his face and like the sun coasting over the horizon he looks brighter and prettier.

“That’s mad, that people would get a random man’s signature tattooed on them isn’t it?”

It’s inevitable really, my eyes skim over his torso brimming with tattoos. He notices and laughs. It’s a wonderful laugh.

“I meant they don’t really know me.”

“They admire you and it’s a piece of you,” I shrug. “At least it’s not a portrait of your face.”

“I’ve seen that floating around the internet actually.”

“Really?!” Now that was mad. I pull it up on the laptop and cover my mouth.

“I know.” He hangs his head and we laugh. God, things were finally getting better. This was the kind of relationship I thought Harry would have with his PA.

I scroll through comments and it’s impossible to wipe the smile off my face. I’ve considered myself a fan for a lot of artists but tattooing their face…that was another level of commitment I couldn’t do.

I look back to Harry who has grown quiet. His eyes are on me.

“What happened to your blazers?”

I’d decided to wear a skirt today, it was my lucky skirt—the one I had been wearing when I got the call that the job was mine. It being the last work day of the week I thought it might make me feel good.

I’d paired it with a tank top and a comfy cardigan. I’d finally felt like myself compared to all the button ups and blazers I’d been parading in. But apparently Harry had noticed the wardrobe difference. Shocker because he barely acknowledged me this week.

“I thought I’d dress for a Saturday?” It comes out meeker than I’d hoped. Ugh. “I hope that’s alright. If you want me more professional-“

“That’s alright,” his eyes roam down my body and I feel hot all over. Oh god, I shouldn’t have worn this. “It looks good.”

“Thanks,” I cross my cardigan over my body and try to get back to work but he doesn’t let it end there.

“Did you make that yourself?”

He continues to surprise me, “I did actually, is it obvious?”

“Yeah there’s a big hole down the back,” he teases. I know he is because his eyes are smiling, light.

“Damnit,” I relax a little. He was only interested in the sweater. “I’d finished it late it looked okay in the dark.”

“I have a friend, she made one of those for me. With the patches. Very comfortable.” He’s weirdly intense while looking at me and I feel like squirming again.

“It is. Very stretchy.” My vocabulary seems to shrink.

He leans over to touch the fabric and I feel like a cactus has been stabbed into my neck, I feel hot and prickly. Jeez, I had to chill out. My employer was just interested in my sweater. Super interested. Maybe I should just give him the damn thing. It would definitely fit him.

“Wool,” he smiles. He’s basically perched above me and I think I’m going to have a heart attack. I went from complaining about the fact that he acted like I wasn’t in any room he was in to not even being able to hold a conversation when he did.

I’m caught looking up into his unfairly gorgeous eyes and he looks at me like I’m the only person in the room. Which I was in this instance, but still.

I’m saved by a loud voice coming out of the elevator.

“Harry you car is waiting downstairs.”

Like a book slammed shut, his expression retreats until all that’s left is the cover page with no summary. The friendly Harry from before is gone.

“Oi Harry! I had to come all the way upstairs because I’ve been sitting in that stupid car waiting! Do you not pick up your phone?”

“Lee,” Harry says as he walks across his living room. “If you can’t reach me you call my PA I’ve told you a million times.”

“And I’ve told you a million times not to keep me waiting. We have a lot to cover before we get to this meeting and I need every minute. God why are you shirtless go put on something appropriate!”

Harry miraculously does as he’s told—given I had already laid out an outfit for him. He’s ready in no time. His accountant, Lee? Simply smiles at me and goes back to typing on her phone while we wait.

“Why is that so wrinkled?” Lee judges Harry who walks out in a completely different outfit.

“I don’t have time to change again do I?” Harry bristles.

Lee looks over at me and I’m not sure if she’s accusing me of something or looking for support.

“Mr. Styles I did leave an outfit out for the m-“

“I don’t wear silk.” He cuts me off and walks out ahead. Lee shrugs my way and follows him. I trail behind, feeling worse than ever.

For a miserable hour and a half I sit in one of the most uncomfortable chairs of my life, organizing Harry’s life while I wait for his meeting to end. As hard as I try to concentrate, I keep agonizing over what I might have done wrong to flick his switch. I swear things were going better. And I know I’ve seen him in silk before. Why the hell else would it be in his closet? Why couldn’t I go a single day without screwing up?

I finally spot Harry walking out of the office and gather my things quickly to meet him. I trail behind as we walk down the hall into the lobby, Lee is nowhere to be seen.

A gasp catches my attention and suddenly a girl younger than me rushes up to Harry.

“Oh my…Harry Styles?”

Harry’s face morphs briefly into annoyance, his gaze flicking my way, before pasting on a smile for the girl.

What to do when a fan approaches H (in the wrong moment): be the bad guy, divert, get Harry to wherever he needs to go to and do it quick.

“Hi,” Harry smiles sweetly at her and the friendliness throws me off guard. But this was unexpected and I should get him away…I think.

“Oh my god could I get a picture? My mate is never going to believe this. She loves you so much, so do I-“

“We really have to be going.” I say and the girl looks at me, surprised to find me there. I look around and spot and older woman watching us. Must be her mum.

“Could I just get a picture?” She glances between us.

“I don’t think Mr-“

“It’s fine,” Harry hands me her phone. “Get a photo of us.”

Just another layer of humiliation to add to the rest of the day. The rest of the week. God was I just awful at reading cues?

I snap a couple and then we’re walking free.

He doesn’t say anything. The car ride to his lunch date is spent in awkward fucking silence and I hate myself more with every second I spend in it.

When the car stops at his destination he holds his hand up when I go to open the door for him.

“Listen -what's your name again?" He asks.

Shame and humiliation drip over me like blood on Carrie’s prom night. I repeat it for him. Just like I had daily since I was hired.

“Right. Y/n. You came highly recommended from a friend so I trust you know how to do this job. This job, is to keep my life organized and keep me on track. Make sure I'm not distracted or side tracked by anyone. Including you. It’s not to be my publicist or my fashion advisor or my personal security. Let's stick to the job description okay?"

His words land bitterly to my ears. Not personal. Just a job. Just a job. Just a fucking job. And yet it was starting to feel like my whole life.

“Yes of course.” I hear myself mumble. And like the big clown I had to be, I push open the door and get out so he can too. He walks to the restaurant without a goodbye and I crawl into the car, heading back to his place. Tears burn my eyes but I refuse to let them out. Refuse to admit just how badly this job hurt.

***

“I’m not doing this on purpose,” I hiss into the phone. “You know I’d be there right now if I could!”

“Babe I get it’s your job but you haven’t come to anything in over a month since you started your job!”

“That’s unfair,” I cup my hand over my mouth. “Gray c’mon I’m going to be there just late.”

“That’s what you said last weekend.”

Last weekend, one of our good friends invited a few friends for dinner in their new place and Greyson had had to go alone. Everyone had messaged me to say I was missed but Gray had been stony, pretended to be asleep when I got home and then given me the silent treatment until I wore him down the next day. It was exhausting begging for affection.

“It’s my job Grey I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Me neither, you know my parents want us over for weekend roast some time but I’ve been avoiding giving them a date because I don’t want you to stand them up.”

“I-“ a shadow shifts in the corner of my eyes and I look up. Harry stands in the doorway. “I have to go we’ll talk later.”

“Whatever y/n,” Grey hangs up and my chest squeezes with all the hurt I was causing. But he saw the state I’d been in since I started this job a month ago and he knows this is just my life right now. Why was he suddenly acting like it was brand new information?

“Are you done your personal call?” Harry asks. He hovers in the doorway, I’d never actually seen him in this little office space. Then again, if he did step in there wouldn’t be much room for either of us to walk around each other.

“Sorry,” I hate myself for apologizing. Here and everywhere else in my life. But I have no other choice. “Can I do anything for you?”

“When are you heading out tonight?” He asks. His eyes glued to my face. I know my eyes are teary and I try to blink it away.

“Um, soon. In an hour or so,” blink blink blink. “Did you need anything from me before then?”

“Yes, I have a friend coming over tonight. Can you order us something for dinner. Something light. And get a bottle to chill for us—champagne. And can you push Monday’s cleaning service to tomorrow afternoon?”

“Consider it done.” I tell him, hoping he would just leave me alone in the dark here.

“Do you have evening plans?” He continues. Why did he never ignore me when I wanted him to!?

“Kind of yeah,” I try to keep it short. “A birthday.”

It was Grayson’s sister’s birthday. She had invited us to a local fave called The Violinist and of course I would only make it to the dessert course if I was lucky. These days, making it to dinner at all was a luxury. I lived off of sparkling water, leftovers, and coffee.

“Well best to finish up what you’re doing so you can head out.”

He leaves and I’m annoyed. Why couldn’t he be nice and just tell me to leave after doing what he asked. But here I sit folding fucking pamphlets for some idiotic pledge he had signed on for. Fuck me.

I’m miserable by the time I leave. I’d managed to finish everything in a half hour so I’d touched up my makeup and changed into a simple dress I had kept in the office closet on Riley’s suggestion.

“A simple black number that could be used for any last minute event.” He’d said. Unfortunately that now counted for personal events too.

“G’night Mr. Styles.” I call out as I walk to the foyer, just so he knows I was going out earlier than I said.

“G’night,” he answers surprisingly. He always ignored me but tonight he sits on the couch. He rises to see me off but I notice him pause and take in my outfit. “Fun night?”

“I hope so.” I unfold the blazer in my hand, suddenly wanting to disappear with his gaze on me.

His long legs walk to me and he takes the blazer I’m fidgeting with from my hands. He actually holds it open and if I wasn’t this exhausted my jaw would definitely be on the floor.

“Oh. Thank you,” I slip it on and turn to face him. As if helping me put it on wasn’t surprising enough, he proceeds to untuck my hair from the blazer.

“That’s alright,” he says in a low seductive tone. “You look nice. Are you dressed up for someone?”

The question is dangerous, toeing a line I’m not sure I want to erase. I try to ease things with a joke. “The birthday girl I guess.”

“A friend?”

“My fiancé’s younger sister.”

Was it just me, or does he bristle when I mentioned my fiancé?

“I didn’t know you were engaged,” he mumbles, glancing down at my hand. I wore a number of rings and I guess the small diamond Grayson had proposed with back when it was the most he could afford, blended in.

“Yeah, nearly a year now.”

“Wow,” he crosses his arms. “Have a date set?”

“Not exactly,” I smooth my hair behind my ears. “We’re thinking next year but we’ve just been so busy with out schedules-“

“What does he do?”

“He’s a personal trainer,” I say proudly.

“Oh,” Harry tilts his head back. “Oh. Now I understand. Now I get the connection. My mate Liam put in a good word for you when I needed a new PA, he said he knew you through his personal trainer. He never mentioned how.”

“I see,” I’d have to thank Liam next time I saw him. He’d been one of Grayson’s first big clients and had become a close friend to us. I’d have to thank him with dinner. If I got any nights off, that is.

“That’s who you were talking to on your personal call?” He asks, his hand tracing my shoulder seam down to my elbow. My heart races from the ghost of his touch.

“Erm yeah, sorry again. I had to take it since it was time sensitive.”

“Best to get going then.”

I take a step backwards and then rush to the elevator all at once. Once I’m on and the doors start to close I turn and catch a glimpse of his handsome face watching me go.

I let out a breath. That was weirdly heavy. And kind of intimate. But weird. That was weird.

I wonder briefly who he was having over tonight. If it was Kimberly, who I’d had the misfortune of meeting in her panties one morning. Or his other “friend” some brunette named Maya or Amaya something. I’d had the misfortune of meeting her when I dropped off a late package to Harry one evening. All were awkward encounters.

I shake away the thoughts and am grateful when Harry’s driver waves me down on the sidewalk. I guess Harry had told him to take me to where I needed to go. My heart is warmed ever so slightly, although I do accidentally nap on the 15 minute drive over.

I make it for the end of dinner and Gray looks relieved to see me even though his eyes hold a hint of something unspoken. I try to ignore it tonight.

“Oh you look beautiful!” I hug the birthday girl, and we sway from side to side. I used to see her a lot before she moved away for uni. “When did you stop being a baby, Josie Duran let me get a look at you.”

“Josefina tell her what you did for your 21st.” Gray says.

“Can you let it go!?” Josie scowls.

“What?” I whisper.

“Mom will kill you,” Gray warns.

“That’s why she doesn’t have to know,” Josie bites.

“Hey,” I put my hands up between the two. “No fighting with the birthday girl. Anyway. Josie, you look beautiful, I’m so sorry I’m late but it’s so good to be here.”

“Aw no don’t worry about it,” she goes in for another quick hug. “I’m just happy you got to come. Gray said the bloke you work for is a nightmare. Tell us do we know him?”

“Ah,” I wasn’t really supposed to talk about him according to my nda. “I dunno if you would. Anyway I’m going to try to steal some of Gray’s leftovers until dessert comes.”

I sit beside Gray where the seat had been left empty and smile up at him, hoping for forgiveness. He sighs and kisses my forehead, pushing his plate towards me.

“Go ahead, have you eaten?”

I had a banana and a yoghurt for lunch but I don’t tell him, just making a vague answer for yes and scarfing down what’s left.

“She got a tattoo,” he says in my ear later as the restaurant finishes singing happy birthday and a cake with sparklers is set down. He’d gotten tipsy and I can tell because he wants to talk about his upsets.

“She’s a grown woman Gray,” I know he was protective and a little traditional—that’s where half of their sibling fights originated, but I always told him he had to let loose a little. “She’s allowed to get it. If I remember you have some tattoos of your own.”

“It’s different y/n.”

“She’s getting older faster than we can keep up with huh?” I lean my head against Gray’s shoulder and let out a big sigh. It feels good, sitting with him here surrounded by friends. It had been a while.

Gray leans his head against mine and doesn’t answer. We watch her friends take pictures like proud parents, watching her cut and then distribute the cake. I should help, but I just could not lift a finger.

“Hey y/n, is that your phone going off?” Josie’s friend beside me points to my facedown phone.

“Is it?” I sit up, my heart doing a number in my chest.

I pick it up, 2 missed calls from Harry and 3 texts. Fuck.

“Leave it,” Gray must be looking over my shoulder. “You’ve gone home now just screw him.”

“I can’t,” I didn’t want Gray getting mad—I know he was kinda drunk and he could make a scene like this. I didn’t want to ruin Josie’s celebration. But I couldn’t ignore this. This is the first time Harry’s messaged me after I’ve gone home. “I’ll take it outside.”

On my way to the door I open the messages. A picture of a bucket filled with ice. A row of question marks. And then: call me

What? What was so urgent about a bucket of-

Oh.

Fuck.

I thought I did everything but I hadn’t. I’d filled the bucket with ice and meant to ask the Italian restaurant around the corner to deliver a bottle like they usually did for Harry but I hadn’t gotten to that part.

I feel like I’m going to vomit any dinner I just had.

I crouch down. Do I call him? Do I pretend I didn’t see this until too late? No. I had to face up. I fucked up.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

I call with shaking hands but it rings and rings and goes straight to voicemail. I try again.

I had to get back, get him the champagne. Fix my mistake.

“Y/N,” Grayson’s suddenly outside. “Aren’t you coming back in?”

“I can’t. I…” how do I explain this to my fiancé without it sounding minor as hell. “I forgot to mail some important documents and I need to get back-“

“It’s Saturday fucking night.”

“Yeah but-“

“And guess what?! Tomorrow’s Sunday! The mail’s going nowhere! Fuck that wanker and come back in.”

Gray holds out his arms and I want to go back in but I need to fix this mistake.

I grasp his hand and he smiles, misunderstanding why I held it, “Gray I have to go-“

He pulls his hand away, a sneer on his face. It hurts when he looks at me that way, like I betrayed him.

“I showed up! I celebrated, I got here Gray I just have to-“

“You were barely here! Do you know how upset she was when I said you couldn’t make it?”

“Well why did you say that!?” I demand. “I told you I was only going to be late!”

“I can’t trust that!” He shouts and I try to pull his arm so he quiets but he doesn’t seem to care there are people around. “Your time is all his, every single fucking second! And when you’re not there your brain is going a million bajillion times over about him and his life. Even when you’re with me! What the fuck! What’s up with that!?”

“Gray I’m sorry look I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I swear. I’ll make it up to your sister I-“

“I don’t care y/n,” Gray slips his arm out of my grasp. “Do whatever you want. Nothing I say matters anymore anyway right?”

“Gray,” tears streak my face as I watch the man I love go back inside without another look my way.

Fuck Harry.

I try to call him again but voicemail. Again. Fuck!

What to do when you make a mistake: admit to it—Harry appreciates accountability. FIX IT! As much as you can. FIX YOUR MISTAKES OR FACE CONSEQUENCES.

An alert that my uber was here pings my phone—I take the ride to the restaurant and grab an already chilled bottle. I book it to Harry’s building and ride the elevator up, every floor causing a further dip in my stomach.

The doors open to a dimly lit space. There’s music playing, something jazzy, and it smells like…vanilla? Vanilla roses?

“Hol-hold on,” I hear Harry chuckle. A head pops up from the other side of the sofa.

“Y/n?” He looks as confused as I am.

Oh my god, I realize as a giggle comes from the floor. They were on the fucking floor of the living room? They were on the floor of the living room f…what the fuck did I walk into?

“Just back with this,” I squeak, holding up the bottle.

“Harry did you invite someone else?” The voice asks from below with another laugh. He sighs, disappearing again. I hear a very distinct wet noise before he pops back up again, I look at the doors of the elevator trying even harder not to give in to the panic attack that was looking more and more tempting.

“What are you doing here?” Harry approaches me with a softened voice. Wearing a robe. A silk robe. I knew he wore silk.

“You called—the bottle I’m sorry it totally slipped my mind I-“

“I told you to call me?”

“I did, you didn’t pick up! I thought I should swing by-“

“I thought you had a party?” His forehead scrunches.

“I…” the pieces come together. Did I take this too seriously because Harry didn’t even look angry? Great. I was an idiot and proving to Harry I had no life. “It ended. Early. I…I wanted to fix my mistake and bring the bottle.”

He takes it from my hand, still confused. “Y/N.”

I wait for him to continue but he doesn’t. And lord, in this climate with him in just a robe hearing my name on his lips is not okay. I was going to pass out.

“I’ll leave.” I go back to the elevator but he starts talking again.

“I asked you to call me so I could ask-“ he stops when I turn back around to listen. He closes the gap between us again with a sigh, and I don’t realize my face was still streaked with tears. It was probably more noticeable in the elevator light. He takes his finger and swipes across my cheek, his brows furrowing.

“Sorry,” I swipe my cheek to remove the remaining evidence. “I’ll leave you to it.”

He clears his throat and takes a step back. “Thank you for coming back.”

I nod.

“If you’re going to leave early next time, make sure you finish everything I’ve asked you to do. Don’t skip out like this again.”

“Yes yeah of course,” I stutter, relieved to fit back into our usual roles. For a second there, I thought Harry was going to be kind. And that would have been way worse.

“Good night Y/N. See you Monday.”

“Good night Mr. Styles.”

Gray’s not home by the time I get back. I wake the next morning to his side untouched.

So I do the only thing that felt good these days, I curl up into a ball and cry.

***

Taglist - leave me a message if you’d like to join it :)

[sushistyless]

mist.

Rain can be a hassle to Harry especially because he’s always late. But when dark and stormy nights lead to finding someone a bit special, he has to admit, he’s forever grateful for the dark clouds.

(writer harry, fluffy & rainy stuff, 6k+)

my masterlist.

————

Harry always had a bit of a problem with being on time.

Usually, it was his day dreaming tendencies that conveniently forced the clock to tick out of his head, drowning the noise of the outside world and opting for the vivid, lively & observant fashion he lived with in books. The entirety of each minute spent in those worlds, being in some way or another -- a moment he would dream about later.

Most of his life was filled within his own thoughts & feelings, a curiosity stemming in the depths of his mind. And ever since he could remember, he'd been this way.

Much of his teenage life and childhood was spent in the city, the daily ways of hustle bustle following each moment. He loved staying there and is grateful for the opportunities he got — don't get him wrong! — but... he craved to have a life where things weren't as overwhelming. He wouldn't say he's shy, but he liked being in his own company, an affinity to observe the intricacies of the world and the different realms of literature rather than soaking up the role of the main character on centre stage.

He always preferred the quiet, and leaned towards the introverted, solitary life. And his job as a writer suited him pretty well, he'd say. Working from home, he didn't really have any events he could formally be late to, which is why it wasn't the biggest concern to him. With a ton of pent up creativity, he found writing (and painting too, sometimes) to be a wonderful medium for him to pour out all that jazz.

His first 'inspiration' for a lifestyle that 'called out' to him was when he was quite young. He remembers his mum taking him to a small village near the hills, and how his seven year old self was utterly enthralled by the beauty and charm of the place.

"Mum! Look!" he had said, scampering around in the fields while running behind a yellow butterfly, committing each curve of its wings to his memory, with pure ecstasy fluttering through the soreness of his cheeks as a result of a smile grown so wide. His mum was amused to see the joy that radiated off him– an amount she'd never seen before.

Later that night, after he'd finally (and very reluctantly) agreed to leave the fields, she'd tucked him into bed, warmth coursing through his veins under the cuddly comforter. She whispered, telling him to never lose that spark in him. He merely responded in a soft, dreamy tone, giving her a lazy smile when met with a kiss on his forehead, "I-it's just, everything's so pretty here! Don't y'think? Jus' wanna stay here forever.''

"Yes, Harry," she laughed, in awe of her son with a gleaming sparkle in his eyes, "And maybe one day you can live some place like this, alright? But for now, sleep, sweetheart."

And he had eagerly nodded his head.

Now, it was only fitting that Harry had bought a cottage in the countryside near the foothills of a little town a few miles away from the city. And suffice to say, he lived a happy life, with inspiration seeping into each flower that grew out in the garden in front of his little cottage, blooming with vibrantly coloured flowers, and in the sunset that came each evening. Dusk, in-fact, was the most pretty sight he'd seen in his entire life he thinks. No complaints, he said when having literal cumulus clouds floating around with rays of sunshine peeking through them, almost making the scene seem scrapped right out of a renaissance painting — the only lost elements being the angels hiding behind them (and, yes, he had actually painted that too).

Love also manifested from his creative side often resulting in tons of hand drawn pictures of different varieties of butterflies and plants pinned to the walls inside his home.

Harry's life was his muse, so each time he sat to write, the words just spilled right out his heart onto the parchment, staining it in perfect handwriting.

(—Or, in a less 'aesthetic' way, mostly his hands typing away rather fast on the keys of his laptop, periodically pushing his glasses from sliding down his nose, but hey, same effect!—.)

He eventually did start writing books and many collections of poetry, so he did struggle with deadlines from time to time, but it wasn't that bad. It wasn't very bad because it didn't require his presence, he thinks, but it still required some time management. And he promises he's getting better at it.

But... we can still say that Harry had a bit of a problem with being on time.

He'd been standing in a little library located farther down the trail from his house (he still grins like an idiot at the thought of having his very own house), that stood on a street lined with shops and cafés. The scent of old books swilled in the air, vintage posters and dark rows of shelves matching the aesthetic of wooden floors and rustic trinkets hung up on the dusky-coloured walls. His fingers picked at the edges of the pages of the book, his third time reading magic through the eyes of The Little Prince.

He'd gotten only a little bit lost in it, his ring clad hand absently lifting the cup of matcha he had previously ordered on-the-go, bringing it to his lips and titling it forward, only to taste just a single drop of flavoured residue and realise that it was empty from the periodic sips he had taken with each flick and turn of a page.

Oh, he thought to himself and frowned. He hadn't realised that he finished it that fast. With a finger wedged between the closed book so as to not lose the page and cup squashed in the same arm, he fiddled to reach out to the vintage field bag slinging over his shoulder.

Finally, through the dishevelled strands of hair obstructing his vision, he managed to open the bag and get a hold of his phone from inside it. Switching it on, he pondered. It couldn't have been that long. Alas, when the screen lit up showing highlighted numbers of 7:28 pm, well, he was shocked (and glad there wasn't any matcha in his mouth, for he would have most definitely spit it out).

And, it hit him that he was late.

It wasn't much of a surprise that he would overstay past his intended time here in the library. But today was an important day.

He had ordered a record player a few months back and he was fluttering on the inside with a little spark. He'd counted down the days until it would arrive, smiling wide as he crossed down each day approaching it, and promised himself early this morning that he'd come and read only for a little bit, then easily go home before 7 pm so he would be there when the precious package was delivered.

Music was a big part of his life, of course. It helped him write, helped him imagine. Helped to dream a little more. And maybe he could even go as far as to say it was like fuel to him. The idea of his suited songs played on the vinyl was enough to excite him.

With widened eyes, he quickly shoved the phone back in, then flustered, taking steps towards the door. He was excited– sure, but he couldn't help and felt a little more doubtful and wary of the delicate player being properly delivered than gently held in his safe arms. It was expensive to say the least (top of the line and yada yada) and although it wasn't his yet, he already deemed it to be his precious possession.

On a normal day, warm, slanted rays of the sun would reflect on his face through the glass windows as he stepped from behind the cover of the thick shelves– but today was gloomy. A thick, dark blanket of clouds was spread across the sky, leaving no place for sunlight to pass through.

With having completed the satisfaction of saying a goodbye! to the store owner — Miss Akane, a kind and eccentric old woman who Harry had gotten quite close to after tasting a lot of her homemade sweets — he strode towards the door, skillfully pushing it open against the windy, mildly chilly air.

And that was when Harry realised that he really needed to hurry.

It was true when he thought today was going to be a rainy day. It'd be only a matter of a few seconds before the scent of wet mud would linger in the air. He walked quickly on the trail towards the mountain side, relaying one last glance to the line of shops. Harry usually caught sight of a few people walking down the street but it seems as though everyone knows that the weather is going to be stormy. He'd grown accustomed to the view by now, having moved to the countryside just a few years prior.

The fitted burgundy coloured chequered pants covering his legs, flared and shifted tightly against his calves, while his torso carried a very lovely sage-green vest, all bundled along with his bookbag tucked underneath his overcoat, effectively shielding him and his possessions from the heavy breeze and potential rain.

As he saw the soil being gradually dotted with raindrops and the plants around him weighing down with the trickling water, he knew it was even more important to reach home fast.

——-

Harry's footsteps become more sunken, the trail having become mucky and threateningly prone to little puddles as he nears his cottage. The rain races with increased velocity, the sound of it hitting the ground and rumbles of thunder providing a soundtrack to the activities and errands of his current life.

Harry reaches close to home, and he had initially thought he would rush in and worry himself, examining the much awaited wet box, because the past few deliveries he had got weren't very considerately delivered. He thought it would be sitting out, left in the harsh rain.

But really, he's confused.

He brings up his hand, the tip of his finger swiping out a drop of rain that clung to his eyelash, already squinted eyes straining even more as if to make sure what he saw through the rain was reality.

Instead of seeing a drenched parcel, he finds someone sitting on his partially covered porch, her hazy gaze fixed on the entwined hands in her lap. The light, pastel amethyst coloured shirt she's wearing grows the slightest bit transparent — not entirely soaking through, but sleeves wet enough to loosely cling onto her body — the expanse covering her torso accentuating her collarbone region. Her hair sticks to the side of her forehead, cheekbones glistening under the influence of the rain. Eyelashes frame her profile from the view he's provided with, cheeks seeming hollow like she bites down on them. A coat is draped over some large box on the right, evidently wanting to keep whatever it was dry.

She certainly doesn't seem like a delivery person, the lack of a uniform making it clear that a courier was not what she was, only adding to Harry's confusion.

Hm?

The little shade up front does little to barricade the rain as it slants towards her, the entire scene looking like her mere presence was magnetic to the forces of nature.

The ideas of why she was here and what his reply would be start noting through his head like pieces of paper being crumpled with each possibility that came up, clearly hesitant in the conversation that he already started in his head. Licking his lips, he readies himself to speak. What should he say?— the lack of socialising with new people peeking through the flurry of jumbled words projecting in his mind.

He gulps, moving closer until he's at a good distance from her, pace slowing down distinctively as his heels dig into the soft ground below. Finally, he musters up the courage to speak, inhaling and exhaling before flicking off a chocolate coloured curl that weighed onto his face, curtaining his vision. "H-hi."

The girl's figure immediately perks up, a sharp intake of breath drawn past her lips, clearly taken by surprise as her face snaps up to him. Her irises have a wild essence in them, widening as they meet his own & flickering around, taking in his features before spewing words of her own, "Oh! Hi."

She clears her throat, posture now becoming straighter, her right hand comes up to toy with a crystal pendant adorning her neck. "Uh," she flustered innocently, confused while forming her question, "Do you live here?" Her body turns completely towards her right, eyes effectively focused on the door of the cottage, giving Harry an obvious reference. Her voice is low & fragile, with woven delicacy as if she's afraid that if she gets louder, it might break glass. Harry's sure that if it was any softer, it would've been completely muted out by the echoing roars of the colliding clouds.

Harry's eyes follow her line of sight, nodding his head at her questioning, "I... I do, yes. Can I help y'with something?" He adds on in the end with sincerity & curiosity edging his tone, still comprehending her sweet voice and sudden presence. He hardly got guests, and if he did, they were mostly his family flying out on occasions to see him. But they too dropped in once in a blue moon. He was, let's just say, deep within an area of solitude. So he was more than shocked when he found someone he'd never known quite literally sitting at his doorstep.

There's a moment of silence in their conversation, giving Harry's gaze enough time to wander off & examine the object placed beside her. The jacket had ridden up at the side, a tiny sliver of the picture plastered over the box making his eyebrows knit the slightest bit.

The girl, whose eyes are mostly just fixated on Harry, immediately notices and clicks out of the dazed dream as she fumbles through the blurry rain, "Oh, right!"

Harry observes as she peeps out, standing to her height, hands already beginning to unveil the surprise under the full of her jacket, which's outer surface is glistening with the water, while the inner remains dry.

"I think... this is yours?" Her voice tilts in pitch nearing the end of her sentence, questioning him with unknown facts once Harry's eyes land on a package with a familiar picture stamped on.

He remembers the same photograph that was displayed on the online site he ordered his turntable from, a light beige colour coating the artistic marvel. With the stickered details of his address pinned up top, the edges of the box had become a little moist and worn out, but overall in good condition.

His features contort to realisation, "Oh— oh, yeah! Thank you s'much." He says with a heart full of gratitude & sudden confusion, stepping closer to finally land on the wooden shaft of the porch and scurry beside her.

She sheepishly nods at the acknowledgement, busying herself to pick it up, the box seeming entirely too large for her arms to hold. Harry quickly swoops in while giving her a soft, grateful look, enough to not evade her personal bubble, but assist her as he quickly supports it from the other side. Her lips tug slightly at the edges, the moment giving her time to take in the ringlets of hair that stick to his forehead and making her smile subconsciously grow the tiniest bit wider as he retrieves it completely.

"I was actually just passing by here when the delivery guy happened to catch me, and assumed that I lived here. I tried to tell him— really — but he was in a rush and he... just kept it and left," she rambles, managing to sneak a quiet smile in there, the cold shaft of wind making her shudder for a moment.

There's a moment of hesitancy, the slightest second of silence wallowing in the air as she collects her words and gathers to deliver him information that might ease his apparent confusion.

"I didn't want to leave it like that 'cause it seemed pretty important. I knocked again but nobody answered, so I only stayed to make sure it was alright until someone came by." Her voice decreases in amplitude as her sentence progresses, speaking shyly as her irises stutter on Harry's frame for a second too long. Explaining the entire situation to the best of her abilities while still tripping over her sentences, Harry offers no response because, well...

What the fuck?

Harry is... at a loss for words, to put it simply.

She did all that? For a simple parcel? For him?

Initially, he'd thought she was waiting there for some help she might need. Then again, everything that had happened was all a jumbled mess in his head — the thoughts in his mind unclear to himself. He didn't know what he was expecting when he arrived and saw her in the first place.

But, she was just so sweet. The entire thought was so incredibly kind, and— it just swelled his heart with so much joy and gratitude. A lot of people have helped him throughout his life, but nobody has ever been this sweet or innocently considerate. He's just on cloud nine with the idea of being worthy of all that, with no part of his brain telling him how to react.

He thinks that among the pouring rain and rumbling chaos, he had the honour of encountering a literal angel.

When he doesn't respond immediately, worry quickly fills her eyes, "I-I'm sorry if it's not what I should've done, I just thought..."

"No, no! Not at all! I jus—" He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, dissipating her worries as she visibly releases a breath. Adoration swimming through his irises, a butterfly induced feeling fills his tummy when he catches her wistful gaze drifting into the window of his soul.

The rain danced like spray, buzzing off the wooden roof & echoing through his ears, the sound of some drops sharper than the other- growing clearer and heavier by the second like the rhythm of his heart. The wind murmured to the trees, a whirring accompanying the puddles that began to plink with the hammering intensity of the rain, almost pleading him to say something— anything.

"That's just s'sweet of you. Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that, but y'did. And 'm so, so sorry I made y'wait out here..."

He is filled with gratitude but he also feels terribly guilty. It was because of him that she had to wait out for so long. It was chilly out and to be sitting out for that long under the icy weather, a sniffle would surely rift into a full blown cold. It's now that he notices the goosebumps trailed along her skin as she crosses both her arms in front of her chest in an effort to keep warm.

"No, don't worry! It's– it's okay. Really." She spares maybe a second of full eye contact with him, giving him a soft smile on catching the praises before casting off her gaze, focusing on the mucky shoes covering her feet as the droplets trickling off it caught the light. "The rain's quite pretty anyway."

Harry offers her an easy (but still regretful) smile at that. It was nice of her to try and console him even through small sentences.

"And... you like vinyls?" she converses curiously once her hands are free again, standing still with her fingers intertwined in her front once again. Harry can't help but wonder if it's a nervous tick she has, and he also can't help but smile a little at the thought, cherishing how he does the same sometimes.

"Yeah, jus' have some kind of charm, y'know?" The words just slip through his mouth like he's talking to himself, stifling his beam as his face drops to face the ground for a second, the faintest dimples indenting the apple of his cheeks and a simmer of warmth reaching them as he gives it his best to not crack into a fit of smiles. "Do y'like 'em?" He looks back at her.

The attempt at making his excitement subdued instils a kind of joy across her face, a honey swept tone coating her words as she replies, "Oh, yeah! Been wanting to get one for myself actually, but they're pretty expensive. Promise I wasn't stealing yours though." She chuckles a little easier now, knuckling at her eyes as a drop of water seems to latch onto her eyelid.

"I believe you. And trus' me, I've been saving up for it for months now, so y'not alone." He reciprocates her laugh, keeping it casual, but his mind internally goes through a shot of excitement.

"It's no–" she starts, a loud streak of thunder rumbling much too loud, cutting off the conversation as her widened eyes flit off to wander in the distance. Harry mimics her actions, the noise enough to demand anyone's attention. Her lips part at the loud sound, teeth digging into the plushy lower one, while the thinnest crease of worry lines her forehead. "But, um, I think I should probably head back now. The rain is only getting worse..."

It's now Harry's turn to worry, concerned because the last thing he could ever want for anyone is to walk back during a growling, full-blown thunderstorm. "Are y'sure? You're most welcome to come in..." he trails off, feet trudging against the cold floorboard as he shuffles towards the door, "It looks pretty bad out there. Y'can wait here until it calms down— only if you're comfortable, of course." He adds the last part quickly, speaks with sincerity- a genuine request on his part. And honestly, it's the least he can do. He knows that it was after all, her choice to wait here, but he still feels shitty knowing that he could have reached earlier and avoided her from all this trouble.

Her gaze is still downcast, an expression emulating the ghost of a smile, seeming like she's mulling over the options in her head, while her hands work to wriggle the coat back on her shoulders. "Oh no, it's fine! I love looking at the interior of houses —" she looks back at him with a breathy smile and a bit of hope arises in Harry, wishing she'd say yes so he would have some company- even if it was only for some time. She continues, "— But I really don't mean to intrude. Thank you though," she continues with a soft gaze, an apologetic undertone lacing her words.

His heart deflates when she declines his offer, the slight tug of his lips dulling only the slightest bit, yet understanding that it was her choice based on what she felt would be safe for her, but he hates to think that she'd feel like a burden if she were to stay.

"Please, you won't be intruding in the slightest. Honestly, s'the least I can do. Please feel free to come in, it's no trouble at all. Again, I'm so, so sorry." All he really hoped was that he could spend even a little time with her because he knew there was a possibility that he would likely never meet her again. But, if she felt it was safer to go her own way, he would respect that, of course, and just continue to think back to the small conversation they once had.

She laughs a little louder now, surprisingly to Harry as if enthralled by the amount of gratefulness and (un)necessary apologies he smothers her with, "Hey," she whispers, "I waited here voluntarily, so you really don't need to apologise."

His internal sorrow evades a bit when she makes an effort to lighten his mood, the tiniest blush threatening to creep up his cheeks.

"I know, 'm sorry—"

"Oops, there you go again."

"—Shit. I promise, I didn't mean to. I'm so so—"

"Sorry?" She completes for him, grinning like Harry's done the cutest thing and in fact– giggles. Proper giggles.

Can you believe that?

And if Harry couldn't take his mind off her presence, he surely can't now, wondering what he's done to have the honour of hearing the sound bless his ears. It's pouring, raining like cats and dogs, but this conversation takes him to a place of happiness where he imagines the sun would shine with the warmest, most yellow & buttery orange tinged glow. He just met her for stars' sake— he doesn't even know her name! But... he knows that he likes being the reason she laughs. He likes making people laugh in general, some kind of satisfaction hiding deep in his own smile when they break into laughter, but he reckons she was just much sweeter to witness.

Agh. He's such a sap, he knows... but he still means every word. Besides, it's in the safety of his mind, it's okay.

"Yeah... that." He bites his lip, hoping she wouldn't catch him avoiding her gaze. "Y'sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be okay," she hums low, words drowning in the sound of the thunder as it penetrates through the grey clouds once again. Buttoning up the most part of her coat and descending down the porch, she shoots him a smile, a small 'bye!' accompanying her actions of waving at him.

"Bye! Please be careful!" he adds on. It felt strange. He didn't want to say goodbye. The conversation hadn't for a minute felt forced and it's... something he hasn't experienced in a long time. He wished it would last longer.

"I will, thank you! It was really nice meeting you!" He watches as her figure teeters down the clearing that led to his house, looking back at him from over her shoulders.

"You too," Harry mutters, a smile taunting his lips at the sight of her doing the same all while prancing about in the rain. But as she leaves his line of sight, he wonders. Would they ever even meet again? A sigh escapes through his mouth, the slopes of his shoulders softening with a pout that stretches across his face. And oh, he even forgot to ask her her name. It was too late to do that now. It'd just be plain weird if he ran out in the rain and startled her for a silly question.

So he's a bit bummed. Still, he's glad that he even had the chance to encounter her.

Turning around with bitten lips after successfully manoeuvring the package so he could hold it comfortably in one arm, he shuffled to reach for his key, pulling it out and swiftly unlocking the door. As soon as he steps in, his senses are waded through by the pillowy warmth of his house, lofting with the homely smell of cinnamon and vanilla. It's nice to be able to come to such a lovely home everyday, and he's so grateful for that. Water drops drip down his clothes, pit-pattering against the wooden floors. A thud noise resonates through the room as he shuts the door, the cold ruffles of wind effectively shut out while keeping the toasty atmosphere inside undisturbed. A little fireplace decorates the corner of the generously sized living room, green plants sitting across the window panes that are curated with occasional flowers here and there. The sheer curtains don't do much to cover the view of the rustic French windows, earthly tears trickling down the glass as he gazes through the fluid stillness upon the field outside– the one that's usually bright and green but now runs dark & deep with water, the attire of raindrops looking like serrations of lines cutting through the wind.

He's quick to discard his drenched coat, opting to hang it on the hook beside the dark ocher coloured console that stands in the foyer-like entryway, carefully placing the box on the cabinet. Littered throughout the pastel coloured walls were various delicately framed paintings– most of which he had made, and some being his versions of the works of Van Gogh (big fan he was)-- all very special, having given him some kind of inspiration to write in the past.

Running a heavy hand through his hair, he shook his head, the rebellious drops of water splattering into the air. Stumbling to the middle of the room, he all but threw himself on the feathery hold of his couch. Melting into the softness instantly, his posture relaxes, as the brown of his bag- a stark contrast to the beige of the couch lands with a splat beside him. Eyes closing ceremoniously once his head rests on the top of the couch, the pad of his fingers rub the inner corners of his eyelids. Realising he has contacts on, he frowns and stops, also thanking his past self for wearing contacts– the rain would've just fogged up his glasses and he preferred to know where he was walking. Plus, he would've not seen her very properly and that indeed would've been a pity.

Deciding that the itchiness was probably a sign for him to remove his contacts, he lifts himself off the couch and makes his way towards the bathroom.

It's just as Harry's removed his first lens that he jolts at the sound of the doorbell. With half blurry vision, all the more confusion sparkling through his veins and messier-than-ever-hair, his lips part. A second later he scurries to the front door. Opening it up the slightest, he swears his heart drops to his stomach. He can't see all that well but when the familiar voice calls out to him again, he can't help but smile at the knowledge of who it is.

"Is that offer of yours still up?"

Harry's never been happier for having a problem with time, and greeting a kind girl at his front door through blurry vision and unruly hair.

————

"Have you really made all of these paintings? They're... beautiful." It makes Harry's heart hurt at the enthusiasm Y/N shows for something he does. That's another he's learned, the sweet girl's name is Y/N. It suits her really well, he realises.

"Yeah, s'all me," he shyly smiles, setting the mug of chamomile tea down on the centre table in front of her. She's sat on his couch, a blanket wrapped around her form to keep extra toasty although she'd declined the offer in favour of the room already being warm enough. But Harry had insisted and pulled out his favourite, fluffiest blanket.

"More than beautiful actually, they're just— you're really talented." She gushes, shifting her gaze from the acrylic pieces hung on the wall to the tea now placed in front of her, accompanied with a soft whisper of an oh, thank you.

"'M glad you think so." His stifled smile stretches wider on his cheeks, little indents beginning to form a dip in them, "I think, art is just so fun to do. Being able to express yourself in paintings, music, film, and of course, writing. Words are so incredible." His voice considerably lowers as he progresses, realising how he's started to rant a bit.

"Oh," Y/N gazed at him fondly, amusement tinting her eyes, "So, I've somehow managed to stumble in the home of a young, mysterious artist - in the middle of the fields - while there's a beautiful storm raging outside, then?"

"You make me sound way cooler than I am," he  laughs silently, fiddling with his rings, "that is a cute idea for a novel though."

"It is cool. Maybe I'll become a writer one day just to write about this."

"I'll join you. Co-writers we'll be," he gleamed at her, the hidden knowledge that he could very well begin plotting a novel at this very moment shucked to the back of his head.

"That would be perfect."

—————

The storm brewed the entire night but eased off by early morning, the night spent with soft words exchanged, and conversations that flowed like the streams of rivers outside. Harry swears he felt genuinely the happiest he had felt in a while.

He also would admit that he quite enjoyed when just before Y/N left, he revealed he was a writer himself. She blushed, jaw dropped because she had been prattling on and expanding on the 'Mysterious Artist in The Mountains' arc, in a pretty... amateur way she had said.

"Well," she giggled, trying to hold a serious face, "Mr. Styles, I shall take your leave. Now that I am presented with the information that you are a wonderful writer by profession, I expect thy to write some poetry about me the next time we meet."

"You should certainly expect it," he played along, bowing to her slightly.

"God, no, I'm joking," she laughed back, "but it really was nice to meet you, Harry. Thank you for everything." Gathering her belongings in one arm, she moved to stand at the threshold of the front door, Harry's presence following behind her.

She was just so sweet, Harry thought. Her smile bought with it something so honey like, a warm ray of light engulfing the room— and the sparkle in her eyes, kindness. She was beautiful too. The kind of beauty that wasn’t so conventional, more so the beauty that came with love that you simply had to have grown in with each second spent together.

"T'was a pleasure meeting you too, m'lady." He continued, a sweet smile still coating his face as he guided her out. (And although she was joking about the poetry, Harry had begun thinking of the same idea before she even proposed it.) Y/N simply reciprocated his expression, silence between them while the birds chirped in the back now that the rain had cleared out.

"Hope to meet you again… soon." She added quickly in the end and looked up to him with a glee in her eyes, speaking softly, “Bye, Harry."

A sense of déjà vu took over as he remembered the scene similar to the one he experienced a few hours back.

"Take care, love," he said, beaming when he saw her walk down the porch and look over her shoulder, excited for when they’d plan to spend more time together.

Except this time, he would happily declare that he knew her name too.

————

SOO, here is writer harry!! honestly, I started out with this piece like months ago and only finished it recently lmsiehdsjhs and I wasn’t sure if I should post it, but here we gooo :(( very soft vibes, I think. writer h is just like that.

thank you ever so much for reading :(( I really really hope you enjoyed!! <333

read more of my work on my masterlist! see you on the other side ;)

[selenepluto]

"I've got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen."

- Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

[otrtbs]

also beloved mutuals reblogging that post on the dash about ceasing w the reader x blorbo fanfiction have we considered the thought that i, user otrtbs, do want 2 be railed by that character??? hmmm,,,,,