#might be easier to engage with
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hrmmmm thinkin thoughts (reimagining jesper in a main verse removed from the grishaverse)
#mostly bc the gv rpc is like........ hella dead atm . and making a more modern fantasy as a main verse#might be easier to engage with#bc i still wanna rp but its so many CRICKETS#not your little rabbit. / ooc.#i already did it with matthias so like. ??
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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"likes don't do anything" they do
"there's no algorithm" there is
"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do
"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.
#if I make art of my ocs who I'm personally fond of and spent a few days drawing just right and it gets 3 reblogs then it gets 3 reblogs#it's rational to feel a little disappointed sure. but I can't do anything about that. it's just luck#and I got Very lucky accumulating a few thousand followers on my main-turned-art-only blog off the back of when m.oomin was very popular#(tho realistically many of those users are probably inactive/passive followers now)#and having this number of people tuned into my posts Still only gets me a couple dozen notes on original stuff.#every 3 years or so something might blow up. like that bugs bunny comic lol. and I did Not expect it to#especially bc it happened about a year after I shared it as well.#it can happen any time. so don't feel discouraged when your art doesn't get noticed right away#the one advantage this website has is that there's far less of a fomo culture compared to other socials where trends come and go in a week#and people will still interact with older posts. especially bc it's easier to find what you want through the tagging system. sort of.#there's really no way to predict this or aim for large engagement! oh unless you're specifically catering to the current hot topic#like d.unmeshi is wiiiildly popular right now. I've seen comics get 5-digit notes in under 48 hours 'cause more eyes are on it.#but if it's not something you personally like and you're only creating things for the attention then you're gonna be unhappy#and people will inevitably move on.#I'd much rather swing my art back around every few months or so until it finds someone it resonates with#than make people who were never planning to engage with it feel bad for no reason
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microdosing on killing myself by reading eruri fic exclusively for three days straight
#there is something so very delicious about how loud all the things they dont say are#what if duty brought u together and kept u apart#what if not saying all these things is killing u but saying them would kill u twice as fast#because u know u know u aren't making it out alive not both of u anyway and maybe never having it will be easier than losing it#its just sooooooo good#everything is so tainted by melancholy and death ♡#its just doom and tragedy and repression and yearning and denial and so close to the surface it might as well be spoken out loud#but it never can and never will#and thats how my bi yearly 3 day reading fics for a pairing i havent thought of in 5 years and will not think of again for another 5#breakdown is going#i haven't watched or engaged with snk since like 2017#but by god does eruri still have a hold on me#every few years i remember them out of the blue and its like lightning striking#txt.me
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not me realizing what caused my flare up and why it hasnt gotten better 😭😭
#its my SHOES#the insoles r completely trodden down now and causing pain 😭😭😭💀#as if i can afford new ones this late in the sneakers season#i use skechers arch fit bcos theyre literally the only shoes ive tried that doesnt cause me massive pain from feet up to shoulders#and the insoles r done for now (which i feel is silly that i didnt realize sooner)#im looking @ alternative insoles for a lower price since the shoe itself is technically fine. but u cant buy the skechers insoles seperatel#(fuck u capitalism) but spending that kind of money on insoles that might not even work is also p terrifying tbh#ill see what i can do but for now im basically cuffed to the bed whenever i Dont have obligatory engagements with the irl outside world#my brain is sooooo fried i might as well be put in a medically induced coma 😭😭😭#arfids still rly bad too but tbh its easier now that i dont move a bunch? require less sustenance energy 🙃🙃😭#abyways sry for my rant. im holding out nd miss u all so so so much !!!!!!#these r the longest words ive written for a while. im surprised im so coherent rn#nohr.txt
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if its produced well sword af season 2 can be fun as an audio drama?? there was a surge of scripted podcasts being made at some point so i imagine it could be like that
#smosh#i honestly thought they might have scrapped it at this point its been so long#i will definitely check it out! i mean maybe it will be easier to listen to#if they produced it suited to audio format with engaging/enriching effects it could be fun??#sometimes restrictions fuel creativity and maybe it just being audio will pull focus to the story better.. idk#if its actually immersive of course and not lesser version of the same thing#we'll see#how much they will let this be burried under tho i wonder lol.. thats kinda sad if this is just a softer version of sweeping this project#under the rug to be forgotten :/
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there is a rapidly evolving rhetoric against transgender cowardice that is deeply shaming nd it worries me a lot
#myposts#'medical transition invariably and always will expose u to harm and violence and if it doesnt ur not doing it right'#'medical transition is the single most important thing u can do u have to do it'#what do u mean the first statement makes u hesitant to participate in the second. theres no hesitating in transgenderism#idk man. doesnt seem productive#from like an access barrier perspective or a. compassion toward other people perspective#no consideration for like abusive situations or any other reason someone might not engage w medical institutions#i see ppl who say this act like others are criticizing it because theyre 'forcing people to transition' but tbh#my concern is actually more like. youre making transition seem undesirable and scary and like it will be a negative#ur making it seem like its a loyalty test that is awful but needs to be done#instead of actually promoting it as life saving and vital and doing the political work that entails#ie actually addressing access barriers or abuse or medical trauma or anything really#i guess its easier to sit on the computer and tell other ppl theyre not good enough and especially ahvent suffered enough#making it a point of shame to not be doing X while also portraying X as bad and scary and not doing work to undo the things that make it so#is a bad combination? i think? personally?#its just a bizarre way to talk abt something so positive. as if theres no positives about it.#you just have to do it anyway. for reasons. huh#personally what gets me is that its literally like. yeah if youre a coward theres no room for you. we wont protect or help you.#if youre scared fuck you. heres XYZ reasons to be scared. aww you got scared?? loser#thats what gets me. whats that for what does it accomplish#i mean what is accomplishes is shame but. personally im on the side of the transsexual coward
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ngl i wrote like half of this one oneshot i have coming up and im still really excited about it but the motivation just disappeared overnight :( like i shit you not it's half written but to connect it i feel like ill have to make all these revisions and its just like. i want to but the adhd says no.
#its fine its fine i can do this!#someone send me an inspirational quote poster you'd find in a guidance counselor's office#also i dont want to complain abt engagement bc like. i write bc i enjoy it foremost#and im grateful for everything even likes#but at the same time its so much easier to find motivation when theres like. interaction ig? connection might be a better word#and gen fic gets ignored a lot. so. its hard to get that pressure to get myself started ig#but like i said. im excited enough about the premise that ill prooobably finish it. we just have to see when#...i should also be writing the next chapter of shifting vertebrae but like. i promised myself id finish this first#anyway. adhd is a bitch sometimes#personal
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During my ~12 yr fandom hiatus I nearly posted a Sylvie (Loki) fanfic on how a child with an extended childhood and adolescence (assuming Asgard years) repeatedly selected families/groups with which to ‘grow up with’ knowing they would all die in apocalypse…falling in love, first sexual experience, best friends forever, sibling connections, loving mth & fth, going back and living w the same family again in a bittersweet remembrance and trying harder (maybe she fought w them last time around), a pseudo-selfishly driven, grief stricken ‘stuck in a time loop’ by design because she can never see them otherwise
Doing it again and again w different families, seeing different fathers and brothers and putting Odin and Thor into a perspective and context that Loki-Loki never could
this constant temptation to save them, being Loki (ragnarok) after all, this ability to do something about apocalypse
and not doing it. Letting them be destroyed because to do anything wouldn’t save them and it’d only destroy herself too and she can always go back again and grow up with them again, if she misses them
And having to take this pragmatic route again and again and again until the mind and heart really fractures
#But then I remembered I can’t really cope w popular fandoms#I wouldn’t say I seek fandoms that are dead but I do have a penchant for ones past their peak#it helps detach from the Metric Measurement trap and focus on what do I want to write; then looking at genuine engagement/dialogue I suppos#which can happen in popular/peak fd too but easier for me w less ppl in the room bc I am so easily swayed#slightly terrified of PB movie o might go into hiding heh
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lookin’ around the Engage scene juuust a bit and hmmm. it appears i am an outlier in benching Chloe... whoops
#ENGAGING in Engage#apparently she's stacked as all hell#but i musta got unlucky with her first few chapters trying her out because she couldn't do SHIT for me 😭 literally never use her#but lookin' around a bit has me see that perhaps some things could have been easier had i given her a chance. oh well#that's just how the beans spill i guess lmaoooo rip#might try her out with the DLC but i'm not about to build her now in the main game lmao
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JFK terminal 5 is the weirdest place where I’ve ever been hit with The Yearning™️. 0/10, no stars.
#I was just minding my own business making a list of things I don’t want to do as a profession (might be easier than the reverse I guess)#and all of a sudden#The Yearn#it’s yearning o’clock#gotta write some engagement fic on this plane
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wait
if Emblems are made of divine energy
and it took Lumera 1000 years + her life to give Alear half of her divine power
then how many divine dragons did each Emblem cost?
#granted it might be easier to create a shade of a hero from a foreign world#than to imbue a person born of darkness#but still#fire emblem engage#uhh spoilers i guess
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La squadra Childhood friends au pt 5
These songs are what inspired the au https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcHHyi9Wdts and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyE9x5HETkY
Everything has changed: It's most of their childhood, how happy la squadra was back then with Darling in their life cause they made an effort to be with them, then it leads up to the present. Though held captive, they're happy to see them hitmen team
The Joker and the Queen: Darling begins to succumb to them, it's a slow process but they begin to return their feelings.
Blep cat
I can see the darling listening to while they sit on the couch and look out the window, the base briefly empty from the other nine inhabitants, and they imagine how the lyrics reflect their relationships with all their friends. Disregarding the fact that it's a relationship they can't leave if they want to. That doesn't fit the romantic aspect. So darling shoves it away, and listens to a playlist to sink into a mindset where they're happy with this.
It's cute, in the same way, that it's tragic; the reader has lost the will to fight.
#blep cat anon#blep cat#childhood friends au!#submission#not mine!#it reminds me of crazy ex girlfriend when rebbeca has her reprise where she'll never have problems again. that's the sad tone i the reader#get from the main character finding it easier to succumb to escapism fantasy#which is ironic because I LOVE escapism fantasy#but it's sad when the fantasy character that's a self insert engages in escapism because they could have a happier life and not need escapi#m the same way we might. And its like-- I don't know I am rambling-- but its like even our fantasy versions of people seek a level of satis#satisfaction and contentment that is unsustainable-- not unobtainable. Its just unsustainable. Its not permanent. Which of course its not.#this especially-- its a horror genre. Misery of some level is common place#ah I completely derailed the fic-- at least its mostly in the tags and its not attached to your work#great job blep cat!!!!#poly yandere la squadra#yandere la squadra
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Marriage vent in tags
#y'know i technically like the concept of marriage with legal protection and all that like not having to go to a notary for everything etc#and probably also because of the 'this is my husband/wife' title which i've seen people use anyway even if they're not married or engaged#but the thing that's so off-putting for me is that if shit goes down divorce is a pain in the ass like it's expensive and long and draining#like in germany you have to spend 3 years apart before you can file for divorce i think? dunno my mom's been looking at it since 2016#whereas if you're not married and you separate it's quicker and might be easier overall#but then you're not legally recognized as partners and don't have all the benefits of marriage#and in germany civil partnerships aren't really common anymore and impossible for couples in straight relationships afaik#because it basically only used to be a way to work around gay marriage back when it wasn't legalised#and for that you would just like. need a few signatures to cancel the contract without much juridical ado#i've just been Thinking about stuff too much#mel talks
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sometimes i am just struck by how happy i am to only go on twitter when linked to specific posts and to curate my dash
like i never really see any actual discourse, just the occasional reasonable person i am in contact with complaining about encountering discourse
#it's so much easier to just enjoy things#and block out or avoid the stuff that drives you crazy and makes you rage#twitter especially we know is literally built to drive engagement and what does that most often is outrage#so it is basically just and anger and hostility machine and it's no wonder fandom gets worse the more it's centered there#i want to dive into small nuances or exclaim over things i've noticed#but everyone just keeps parroting the same scenarios over and over to each other like some kind of ritual of reassurance#and that part is tiring#because i guess i can't perform varying forms of distress or exaggerated certainty when i'm just not that insecure about where i stand#that's why i love people who do analysis and share tidbits of background info or connections that might otherwise be missed#and less 'do you think?' type theories because i mean ... we'll find out? in a couple days?#like the saying goes: don't borrow trouble#but it seems like some parts of fandom are not only preordering trouble they put on lay-away what they can't actually afford
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Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy
Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.
The Diagnosis
In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience.
Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content.
To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.
Our Guiding Principles
To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.
Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Retain and grow our creator base.
Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.
Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.
Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up.
We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.
Actions & Next Steps
Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.
Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.
Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.
The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.
Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant.
Actions & Next Steps
Deliver great content each time the app is opened.
Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are.
Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds.
Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.
Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.
Actions & Next Steps
Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.
Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs.
Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.
Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread.
Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads.
Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed.
Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.
Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.
Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.
The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.
It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.
Actions & Next Steps
Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it.
Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.
Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.
Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.
Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.
Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.
Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.
Actions & Next Steps
Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.
Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.
Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages.
Test what the right daily push notification limit is.
Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.
Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.
The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.
Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.
Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users.
Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.
Conclusion
Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.
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