#might be basically living there for a few days

[delulustateofmind]

Long Distance - Blurb

Gojo x Reader: Fluff

🩷 Full fic here 🩷

Little draft, might continue this another time.

You stared at the ended Discord call on your screen.

12 hrs and 8 min

You just spent over twelve hours talking to some random guy in Japan. Broken English. Broken Japanese.

Those two semesters of Japanese you took in college for your world language credit? Guess they were finally paying off—all because you decided to join a random Minecraft server at three in the morning. Of course, that meant it was daytime in Japan, a neat little twelve-hour time difference.

You tried not to dwell too much on the call: how he’d invited you to join his town on the server, how quick-witted and surprisingly charming he’d been.

No, no.

This was just a fleeting crush. A reaction to being showered with attention. A temporary burst of dopamine. You were not falling for someone halfway across the world. Absolutely not.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a Discord notification.

青眼の白龍:“Switch? Animal Crossing…?”

A second message followed right after:

“Your voice…cute!”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, and you stared at the screen in disbelief.

What the hell.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, and then you typed a response:

“I have a Switch! :) Play tomorrow? It’s night here.”

The reply didn’t come immediately. You watched the typing bubbles appear and disappear a few times, as though he kept rephrasing whatever he wanted to say.

Finally, it came through.

“Yes. Call. Tomorrow! 💙”

You sighed, shutting down your PC before heading to bed. Your heart thumped a little too loudly in your chest. It’s just a simple little crush, right?

Sunday arrived—a bittersweet reminder that it was your last free day before the work week began. The timezone difference weighed on your mind; realistically, you wouldn’t have time to chat much with him during the weekdays.

As you booted up your Switch, the familiar Discord ringtone chimed, startling you. Crap, you didn’t have online membership to visit other islands! You scrambled to enter your credit card information, fingers fumbling slightly from your nerves.

Then, his voice came through.

“Moshi-moshi!”

Light, chipper, and laced with a soft giggle, his greeting made your heart flutter. “Hello, y/n!”

You froze for a second, gripping your Switch tighter as your chest went pitter-patter. You didn’t even know what he looked like. Most of your conversation last night was surface-level: basic introductions, Minecraft plans, and a few scattered questions about each other’s lives.

Yet, here you were, feeling your cheeks warm like you were talking to someone you’d known for years.

“Hello…Satoru,” you said, testing his name carefully. Then a moment of panic hit. “Wait—is that okay? Or do you prefer Gojo?”

His laughter came again, soft and easy.

“I like Satoru,” he said, a playful edge creeping into his tone. You could almost hear the smirk in his voice. “Let’s…play?”

There was a hint of hesitation in his words, the careful pauses betraying his uncertainty in English. It mirrored how awkward and foreign speaking Japanese felt for you. But his effort was impressive—he handled basic conversation with surprising ease.

You smiled to yourself, settling onto the couch with your Switch. “Yeah, let’s play.”

[bloodibambiidoll]

What if someone who had a massive crush on rafe started dressing and acting like weird girl reader in an attempt to get his attention

I think she wouldn’t live to see another day !! Just kidding… but it wouldn’t be good for her… Possessiveness, talks of weird!girl getting bullied in the past, use of a butterfly knife (no breaking skin), Barry banter, weird!girl gets just a lil crazy here, she’s at her limit what can I say !! 18+MNDI!!

You don’t who the fuck this bitch thinks she is, who she thinks you are but she is about to get a reality check real quick. You’ve been watching it slowly progress. First you saw her at one of Topper’s parties wearing fuzzy demonias and a frilly mini dress and it just got worse from there. This girl whose name you haven’t thought of in years, Brittany. She treated you like shit all through school and she spent that same amount of time begging for Rafe’s attention. Which he never gave to her. And now? She’s dressing like you and posting pictures on her Instagram story of her in the middle of the woods. You even saw she had a sonny angel on the back of her phone in one of her selfies. Just like you. She’s been showing up at parties more and she’s somehow always at the country club when you and Rafe are. She’s never caught him alone though. Not until now.

You decided to stay home tonight, Rafe was going to a party with Barry and a few of their other dealer friends and you were tired. But when you got a text from Barry that you needed to come rescue your man because some girl wouldn’t leave him alone no matter how many times he turned her down? You knew who he meant and you were out of bed putting on a quick beat and a cute little outfit immediately. You called an uber and were there in less than an hour.

When you rolled up there was music blaring and lights flashing from inside so you pushed your way through the sweaty, weed and beer smelling living room while scanning for your man in every corner. It didn’t take you long to find him. He’s sitting out on the back porch on a bench, counting money on the small table in front of him, surrounded by his guys, and fucking Brittney. Barry is in between her and Rafe but she might as well be in his fucking lap from the way she’s leaning over him to fawn over your fiancé. She’s wearing a little lace corset top and a black mini skirt which wouldn’t be that abnormal for a basic kook bitch like her but she’s wearing the same platform boots you had on last week, a studded choker, and a chunky belt to match. It makes you see red immediately.

You stomp out the back door and across the patio with tunnel vision. Your white platform Mary Jane’s clank against the ground and your little pink mini skirt swishes with every step. You walk right over to Rafe and plop down in his lap, interrupting his money counting.

“Hey, baby.” You throw your arms around his neck and smile at him sweetly, which he returns.

“Hey princess. Thought you weren’t coming. Just gimme a second to finish this up and I’m all yours, Kay?” Rafe kisses your cheek all sloppy before going back to business. Which you don’t mind because you have some business of your own to take care of. You turn sideways in his lap to see Brittany glaring over at you with her mouth agape, like she’s shocked to see you sitting in your man’s lap.

“Oh, hey, Brit! Fancy seeing you here! I didn’t know you were seeing Barry!” You smile at her sickly sweet, gesturing to the way she was splayed across his thighs. “And I love the outfit, didn’t know dressing like a weird little fucking freak was in now!!” You giggle as you throw her words that she’s spewed to you a thousand times back in her face.

“What? I’m not seeing him. What are you talking about?” She scoffs and rolls her eyes, throwing her thin mousy brown hair over her shoulder. “And this? This is what everyone is wearing now. Do you live under a rock?”

“No, I don’t. I live in my fiancés big, nice house were he fucks me so good everyday.” Her blue eyes that she sloppily applied a large eyeliner wing to blow wide as her hand flies to her chest like you just hit her. It just makes you smirk as you lean across Barry’s lap so you can get in her face.

“Well, we will see how long it takes him to get bored of you. He is Rafe Cameron after all, you never know when someone shiny and new is gonna come around.” She says it quiet enough that you don’t think in his state of focus Rafe hears her but Barry suddenly looks very scared for her. And he should. You peer over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking your way and pull the butterfly knife tucked in your garter from its place all in one move. You stare into her eyes as you flick it open, finally putting those tricks you spent hours in your room teaching yourself to good use. You lace your finger into the loop of her cheap, wannabe choker and pull her face close to yours, holding the blade to her throat.

“Shiny and new?” You chuckle darkly. “Honey, you’re so fucking ran through Rafe is probably the only man on this island that hasn’t touched you. And he never will. So ditch the act. Go back to your lulu lemon’s and stay the fuck away from my man. Before I make you.” Your voice is calm and collected but the smile on your face and the underlying tone of it, mixed with the knife you have to her throat has her shaking with fear.

“You’re fucking crazy.” She gasps and tries to pull away but you only pull her closer, not enough to cut her, but enough to threaten it. You lean in so your lips brush her ear, letting out a manic giggle.

“You don’t even know the half of it. Stay away from him. Or you’re fucked.” You give her a condescending sticky lip gloss kiss on the cheek before pulling back and flicking your knife shut. She gasps and grabs her throat like you actually slit it and it sends you into a fit of laughter as she runs off with tears streaming down her face.

“Damn girl, I didn’t know you played like that.” Barry chuckles and he looks over at you with a proud smile.

“Yo, are you flirting with my girl again?” You look over your shoulder to see Rafe tucking a wad of cash into his pocket before you feel his arm lace around your waist so he can pull you against his chest.

“Nah, I mean, maybe a little bit.” Barry sends you a smirk and a wink that has Rafe groaning into the crook of your neck. “But don’t tell me you didn’t hear alla that…”

“Oh, no, I heard it.” You feel Rafe’s lips curve into a smile on your neck. “You feelin’ a little territorial bats?”

“Oh, absolutely. Not just over you, but over being the island's resident weird girl. You don’t get to jump on the train after shitting on it.” Your face sets into a glare that sends Barry and Rafe both into a fit of laughter. “Hey! Fuck you guys! That bitch made my life a living hell, she had it coming to her!”

“Yeah? You don’t think holding a knife to her throat was a little excessive?” Rafe squeezes your sides and you try to push off of him but he just pulls you closer.

“Honestly, country club is right. It probably would’ve been less crazy if you just hit her ass.” Barry rubs his fingers over his chin, the smirk on his lips causing the grill on his teeth to glint in the low light.

“That’s rich coming from you two!!” You scoff out a laugh that has them both laughing along with you.

“But honestly though? That was so fuckin’ hot, baby. Lemme take you home and show you who I belong to, yeah?” Rafe runs his nose along your throat before placing a few kisses there that have you throwing your head back against his chest with a sigh.

“Aye, unless you’re gonna let me in on it, I suggest you get a fuckin’ room.” Rafe sends Barry a glare that he returns with a smug smile. “What? Just sayin’.”

“Bro. It’s never gonna happen. Stop trying.” Rafe leans over you to shove Barry’s shoulder playfully before scooping you up carrying your ass out of there so he can take you home and fuck you until you can’t take it anymore.

Tagging some mooties: @babygorewhore @cxrrodedcoffin @starkeysprincess @cameronsprincess @rafeinterlude @nemesyaaa @bunnies-p1tst0p @eddiesxangel

All things Rafe & his weird!girl here

Divider by @anitalenia

[lurkingshan]

Hey Shan!! IDK if you're planning to do a BL wrap up or superlatives or anything like that this year so this question might be a bit too early but um...what has been a few of your favorite first watches for 2024 bls?

Hi Eboni! This is actually pretty good timing for a list because most of the shows that will end within 2024 are already over! The only two I could see maybe making my list that have not ended yet are Love is Like a Poison (Japan) and Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China), so I'll mention them here (fingers crossed they end well and stay favs).

That said, here are my favorite completed BLs of 2024 (alpha order)!

At 25:00 in Akasaka (Japan, Gaga)

Two actors who first met in college are cast in a bl together, old feelings resurface, and the lines between their professional and private lives start to blur. This show is super beautiful and moody.

Cooking Crush (Thailand, YouTube or WeTV for uncut)

Ten and Prem are my favorite of OffGun's many couples. Ten is a med student with food issues who wants to learn how to cook, and Prem is a chef in training. Their romance is super sweet and I also really like the side couple and friend groups in this one.

Cherry Magic Thailand (Thailand, YouTube or Viu, requires VPN)

I still can't believe this show happened. How on earth did GMMTV manage to make a superior version of Cherry Magic?? Tay Tawan had a lot to do with it, along with a very smart adaptation. It's so sweet and funny and perfect (if you just pretend ep 8 doesn't exist).

City of Stars (Thailand, iQIYI)

I was surprised by how much I liked this charming little Thai pulp. It had an interesting story with strong writing and the pair was very good together. More people should watch it!

I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama (Japan, Gaga)

This is a short and sweet and note perfect BL comedy about two actors falling for each other while making a BL. Loaded with meta jokes about the industry and stan culture and very loving about it.

Knock Knock Boys (Thailand, Gaga)

I am obsessed with this excellent Thai BL that not nearly enough people watched. Two couples, both compelling and sexy and fun, and amazing friendship dynamics. I want everyone to watch it!

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (S Korea, iQIYI)

My top BL of the year. It's a second chance romance, you see the characters both in high school and later as adults and I don't really want to spoil anything else about it. It's beautiful, the characters are so compelling, and the story is masterfully told.

Love for Love's Sake (S Korea, iQIYI)

This one is special and quite unique, and I also don't want to spoil much about it! It begins with a basic isekai set up that then goes to some unexpected places. Really, really beautiful show.

Love Sea (Thailand, iQIYI)

Definitely my favorite spicy romance of the year. I really loved a lot about the story for this one, in particular the class dynamics that defined the characters and their relationship, and Mahasamut (played by Fort) is on my list of favorite drama characters this year.

Marahuyo Project (Philippines, YouTube)

We didn't get much from the Philippines this year, but they did drop one absolute banger in this show about a fierce and proud gay kid who gets booted out of school in Manila and sent to live with his grandma and mother on a small island. He makes friends and enemies and starts an LGBTQ+ club, and falls in love along the way.

Mr Mitsuya's Planned Feeding (Japan, fansub)

An excellent age gap romance about a young editor and the chef who writes for his magazine making food together and falling in love. Lots of fun side characters, too. I loved every minute of this show.

Perfect Propose (Japan, Gaga)

Two old friends meet when one of them is in need of housing and one is on the verge of a nervous breakdown from a soul-sucking corporate job, and help each other heal. This one is short and sweet.

Ossan's Love Returns (Japan, Gaga)

This one is technically a sequel, but you can enjoy it without having seen the original (and might like it better that way, tbh). One of the funniest shows of the year and featuring a main couple that is a personal fav and are now on my ride or die list.

Takara's Treasure (Japan, Gaga)

This one is a simple story but so, so sweet. A cute little bean follows his mysterious idol to university and joins the hiking club to get to know him better. They get to know each other slowly and fall in love.

Unknown (Taiwan, Viki)

ALMOST my favorite bl of the year, but we had a few issues on the back end. Despite that, I still loved it a whole lot. A family drama and a love story about two chosen brothers whose relationship changes over time. Easily the best BL Taiwan made this year.

Looking at this list, I am realizing how absolutely invaluable my Gaga and iQIYI subscriptions have become; it's where nearly all my favorite BL is airing.

[scribescrawls]

Thinking about headcanons about the High Guard and the war with the Quintessons. Thinking on how Alpha Trion mentions that the war with the Quintessons has been going on for thousands of cycles. I think about how most of the general population thinks the war ended already and if they fight the Quintessons again to them it might feel like a new war is starting. Like the peace was built on a lie and it is a false peace, but people believed the war was over. Meanwhile for the High Guard the war with the Quintessons never ended, it only got worse. Probably to the High Guard in their eyes they are still at war with the Quintessons and always have been this whole time. Like even if Sentinel died that gives them the revenge they wanted and bonus they’re no longer being hunted by him so one problem solved, but they were still at war even before Sentinel’s betrayal and they’re probably still in a ‘we’re fighting a war’ mindset. I think this is also another reason the High Guard decided to follow Megatron because they want and feel like they need a strong commander that can lead them to win a war. Someone who won’t show mercy to their enemies. The kind of ruthlessness that they’ve had to embrace to survive these last 50 cycles. It’s the first time they’ve probably felt hope of winning in a long time over the 50 cycles after watching their strongest leaders fall.

I think this also includes Starscream, I genuinely think he thinks Megatron has the potential to be a leader worth following in TFOne (even if losing that fight might have stung his pride a bit). This Starscream is older and has probably been fighting in this war for thousands of cycles, he likely knows how vital morale is and that the person inspiring that in the High Guard right now is Megatron. Demoralized warriors do not fight as well as those who have someone to rally behind and have hope. And I think Starscream is painfully aware of this and also was feeling pretty damn despondent these last few cycles too, but he couldn’t exactly show that when he was leader cause if your leader has given up on things then it’s basically confirming to everyone else that they should give into hopelessness too and that’s when things would quickly devolve into chaos and death, so Starscream probably had to ‘conceal don’t feel’ all of that grief and despair. Basically a ‘if I don’t lock in and set an example we’re all going to die and I refuse to die like this’ mentality now rinse and repeat that for 50 cycles.

I personally don’t think he’ll betray Megatron or try to take back his position of leadership yet until he believes that Megatron isn’t living up to what Starscream deems as a worthy leader. Though he might be loyal for now, I think he’ll still also be the most critical of Megatron and the one who challenges his way of leadership if he thinks the other is falling short of their goals or believes Megatron’s plans will get them killed. I also think Starscream might try to be a mentor figure and shape Megatron into what he thinks a leader should be (for better or worse). This will likely cause tensions down the line as Starscream might think his ideas are better because he has more experience in war/leading troops vs Megatron who might view Starscream’s way of doing things as set in his ways/old fashioned. I think there’s the potential for Starscream to view Megatron’s way of charging in and taking action as reckless meanwhile Megatron might interpret Starscream’s caution as cowardice instead of calculated.

At the end of the day, I just think that the High Guard are war veterans whose war never ended.

[burningcheese-merchant]

I know that it is highly unlikely that it is the case, but come and give it a thougjt with me (Yandere Spice with a twist).

What if: Burning Spice, despite being completely obsessive and being the sadomasochist he is, routinely cuts off the heads of animals and cookies and brings them to her the first time with a love letter (he used to be the Herald of Change, so I'd imagine he's got- and retained- some brains, enough to at least write a psychotic obsessive love letter).

Now, Golden Cheese is obviously gonna freak the f out and gape as he shoves the head into her arms (probably throw it into the air and back up in panic) while Burning Spice- though displeased at first, just grins manically at her reaction soon enough (maybe even laughing), before he grabs it and shoves the letter and head onto her hands again and leaving.

Golden Cheese, having noticed his reaction to her throwing it, becomes concerned with what he might do if she doesn't accept the 'gifts', decides to keep it (She flies hella fast and enters through her window and hides it in a secret compartment in her room, before creating a hidden room the other gifts in the future).

Now, here's the twist:

Despite the shock and horror she displayed to Burning Spice's gift, she knew that deep down... She fucking loved it. She silently revels in it, even. At having so much of the Beast- A cookiebeing you could practically almost consider primordial and all-powerful-'s attention and taking up so much of their headspace. To be obsessed over adored by someone like that, so much so that they would go out of their way to behead someone and something and write a love letter daily, just to give it to her as a gift-

In short, she absolutely loves the attention she will never say it and will keep that to her grave and Burning Spice and everyone else is none the wiser of it. Of how she'd kept every letter and laminated every single one with the care and cautiousness and love one would use when holding thin glass, of how she intentionally goes out alone every day for a few minutes just so Burning Spice would 'see an opening' and give his gift, where Golden Cheese would then act terribly disgusted and horrified, and then keep the gifts. Ignorant of how she has a room full of the 'gifts' he's given her- which she'd taken the time to personally taxiderm each and every one, before hanging it on the wall like a reward or trophy. Of how she'd come to the room every night to just adore it just the sight makes her want to coo and purr in delight for a few minutes to an hour, before going to bed and resting.

Sorry for the rambling and the long paragraphs 😅😅

This is such a horrifying (in a good way) concept that I MUST acknowledge it and give my take!!! Gonna put it under a cut because this is particularly dark

Yandere Spice basically acting like a cat is so fucking funny to me lol I love it

I'm so glad you think Spice is a smart guy due to having been the Herald of Change/History, because I think that too! He simply HAS to be intelligent, even wise to a degree. It would be ridiculous if he wasn't; being buff doesn't automatically mean you're dumb. And I LOVE the letter thing, I've always headcanoned Spice (the "normal" one, not the yandere one) as writing Golden romantic poetry (and her liking it lol. It helps win her over).

Now, with the murder gifts: of course Golden is horrified. Not only has Spice ended innocent lives, but he did it for her. In a way, it's her fault, and she feels horrible. Animal, person/cookie, doesn't matter, Spice has killed again and he gives the fruits of his sinful labor to her as a declaration of "love". It's sick. No matter how deranged she finds him, he finds a way to sink lower. (But... one thing: he never hurts birds. He has never once brought her a dead bird, because even he knows that's a step too far and she REALLY won't like it. It's the one little drop of care and tact that he possesses.)

But that twist: somewhere beneath all those layers of shock, disgust and righteous anger is... flattery. Sick, twisted flattery. There's nothing Golden loves more than being praised, than being worshiped, than being showered with attention and gifts... and Spice is doing that. He's feeding her ego, albeit in the worst way possible. And so great and terrible is her ego, no matter what she does to temper or suppress it, that somewhere deep down inside, she enjoys what he's doing. That he'll gladly kill for her. That he'll show off his hard work in search of her praise and admiration. She is a goddess and he knows it. He is giving her the adulation she rightfully deserves.

Now, of course, this contradicts her normally altruistic nature, and she has a massive crisis of conscience. She keeps everything Spice gives her, she keeps the heads and the letters and stores them all properly, because... Well, she tells herself that it's better this way. If she refused them, he would retaliate, if not against her then against another innocent. If she preserves the heads, she can later discover who they belonged to and hopefully return them to the person's family (and it was the least she could do; clean them up, give them back even a fraction of their grace and dignity...). If she reads the letters, she'll have better insight into his mind and how he thinks, and thus be able to formulate a better response to him and his behaviors. These excuses are what she mutters under her breath over and over as she sneaks the heads into her room, through the window so no one sees her. As she tidies and laminates the letters, and stores them in a secure folder that she tucks into a box under the bed (which eventually becomes boxes, the more and more letters she gets). As she expertly taxidermies the heads and places them on nice shelves in a hidden closet in her room. It's better this way. She has to do this.

...and these are all true, they really are. But at the same time... Existing alongside this pain and terror and crushing guilt, is the sick joy in knowing that she has someone wrapped around her finger this completely. And a Beast, too. The Beast of Destruction, no less. Burning Spice himself, heads over heels in love with her, willing to do anything to have her. It shouldn't please her to have a monster practically at her beck and call, but... it does. It really, truly does. And no matter how much she hates herself for it... It's never enough to make it stop.

Sometimes, she'll hint at a specific person she doesn't like - usually a known enemy of her kingdom - just to see if he'll do what she thinks he will. Sure enough, the next time they meet, he has that person's head ready for her, all but puffing his chest out in pride and grinning that hideous, face-splitting, cruel grin of his. She acts upset, but she's actually pleased to know that she was right: he WILL do what she tells him to, just to please her.

Sometimes she'll stand there admiring her ever-expanding taxidermy collection, congratulating herself on her hard work; she does a better and better job every time. (And when the guilt comes bubbling to the surface, asking her why they're still here and not with their loved ones so they can have a proper funeral, she tells it that Spice will lose it if he catches her giving them away. Or she'll be made out to be the one responsible, since she's the one who has them. Or they're dead, their souls have departed to the afterlife, what happens to their mortal vessels matters not anymore...)

Sometimes, when she's in bed at night, she'll pull out the letters and read them. Sometimes she'll read one, sometimes a few, sometimes all of them. Some are surprisingly sweet and romantic, full of oddly gentle and doting words; she can feel the warmth and affection soaked into the page. Others are downright vulgar; she feels her own face catch fire as she reads through what are obviously his fantasies, the list of ways in which he wants to pleasure her so long and graphic that she suspects he wrote them one-handed, if you know what I mean. The rest are just flat-out deranged: feverish rants about his ownership of her, how he hated and wanted to get rid of those around her, how she took everything from him (his power, his sanity, his heart, his soul) and he was willing to pardon it if she gave him everything of hers in turn. How he will never stop hunting her. How he will slaughter thousands to get to her. How he will bring the world to ruins just to have her to himself. Madness. All-consuming delusion that she fears is incurable.

But the worst part is... she doesn't know if she wants it to be anymore.

All she can do now is... hope he never finds out. Hope he never knows she feels this way. That she relishes his kills, his gifts. That she has a godforsaken trophy room now. That now she's as starved for his attention as he is for hers. (And he will. The idea is simply too tantalizing. He WILL find out eventually, someway, somehow - and when he does... Oh boy.)

TL;DR: Golden is so greedy that her greed has warped her into being as bad as Spice, at least in her own way. They probably deserve each other at this point. Pure, incorrigible arrogance and psychopathy all the way down. God/Witches have mercy on us all

[silentscrying]

🎸 out of my mind ! 💿 track two: kowalski, status report

guitarist!ino x drummer!reader

summary: it's the annual battle of the bands at the fix, your college campus's iconic live music bar, and this year you're taking the stage as the drummer for indie rock group cursed technique. you know the competition is strong, but no part of you is ready for lead singer and guitarist takuma ino. you lock eyes at the edge of the stage, and something starts—something that might make you feel alive even more than the beat of the drums.

warnings: language, alcohol, mentions of drugs/drug dealing, toge bullying, unbearably cute dogs. || sfw. 9k words.

"I SHOULDN'T CUSS in this, right?"

It’s the day before the other four artists premiere their sets at Battle of the Bands, and you haven’t been home since six in the morning. You’re running on caffeine and spite and the pursuit of the story, parked on a high stool across the bar from the one and only Ieiri Shoko.

Toge leans on the counter beside you, opting to stand. He’s agreed to pay for the next snack run in return for you letting him be your partner. You both know you’re going to end up doing most of the writing, but you don’t really mind. Toge would if you asked him to, but you love this kind of thing in a way he just doesn’t. Plus, he’s better with a camera than you, and he’s taking photos tomorrow night.

You laugh, pulling out your phone to record. “You can say whatever you want as long as it’s honest. Be candid.”

“You might regret saying that!” Gojo calls from the back, and Shoko silences him with a glare.

“Are you coming or not?”

Gojo grins and finishes up whatever he’s putting away in the storage room, then strides out and leans his elbows on the counter.

“Do you mind if I record?” You point to the open voice memo app. “Makes it easier to quote you correctly.” You also just hate running interviews when you’re scribbling hand-written notes the whole time. You’d much rather have a genuine conversation and worry about the details later.

Shoko waves a hand airily. “No problem.”

“Absolutely,” Gojo says. “You can probably sell that for thousands.”

You set the phone on the counter, next to one of the tiny pumpkins scattered across it in celebration of the beginning of October. You and Toge bounce back and forth as you run through the standard start-of-interview checklist, having them spell out their names, getting their ages, hometowns, degrees, all that jazz. And then you launch into the stuff you really care about.

“So, you opened The Fix about ten years ago now, correct?”

Shoko nods. “Yeah, a little over two years after we graduated.”

You look at Gojo, whose eyes are even more alarmingly blue in the daylight. “And you were hired right away?”

“Utahime first, then me,” he nods. “Best for last, y’know.”

Shoko snorts. “We knew each other in school. I just took pity on him.” She smirks as Gojo’s jaw drops. “You can quote that.”

“Right, so all of you were friends in college. And you came together to start this place—what was the idea behind it?” Toge chimes in. “You said you studied nursing, Shoko?”

And you sit and listen as Shoko explains. Back in college, she was at the top of her class. By graduation, she’d been accepted to basically all the best med schools. She had her pick. She could do whatever she wanted. But she realized that what she wanted wasn’t that at all.

The medical field is brutal, she tells you. It’s all late nights and emotional burnout. People yelling at you, misplaced anger when you give them the bad news. Getting attached to people only to watch them waste away.

“I needed to get out before I got too far in. Maybe it was selfish,” she admits. “But I wasn’t cut out for it. I have so much admiration for medical professionals, but I couldn’t be one of them. A few clinicals and I was already feeling the consequences of giving too much of myself and getting nothing back.” She shrugs. “So I named it The Fix, as some kind of homage to the medical background. And I figured I’d just make sure it’s safe.”

Something sits heavy in her gaze as she stares at something behind you, middle distance, like she’s remembering.

“Why a college bar?” you ask, nudging the phone across the counter to pick up her voice better. “I mean, the extra security, thinking about underage drinking, dealing with a bunch of broke university kids. You could’ve just as easily opened a different bar in a more lucrative area. What was the appeal?”

She smiles crookedly. “Appeal. Well. My senior year, I was working in the local ER. And I saw… god. So many kids came in there needing their stomachs pumped, or kids who’d done laced drugs, gotten roofied, harassed, it was… I mean, it was a city university club scene. They weren’t safe. And I just felt like I needed to give them that. I couldn’t stay there as a nurse or a doctor. But I could do this.” She shrugs. “Sorry. That was probably way too much.”

“No,” you say quickly, smiling at her. “That was—that’s what we came here for. Shoko, that’s amazing. And it’s not selfish, taking care of yourself. You’re still here taking care of others.”

You don’t know Gojo well. Most of your stories about him come secondhand from Nobara, who knows him through Megumi. She paints the picture of a flamboyant, obnoxious bartender who’s more like a weird uncle to her than anything. From what you’ve seen of him at The Fix, you know this to be mostly accurate—he’s rarely serious, always taking flack from the students and giving it right back, ragging on Utahime, begging Shoko to play his playlist instead of Geto’s and knowing she’ll never cave. But now, as he listens intently to Shoko, you think you’re seeing another side of him.

There’s something troubled on his face as she speaks, like he wishes he could reach into the past and help. Like he regrets it.

The bar’s not the only thing that has a different side in the daylight.

“She’s right,” Gojo tells Shoko. It’s not much, but she looks up at him a bit surprised, something in her expression softening. A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth, not quite there but not quite not. “You’ve got a pretty big heart under all that RBF.” Shoko rolls her eyes, the moment over.

“What about you?” You turn to Gojo, nudging the phone his way. “Why a college bar?”

Shoko turns toward him, leaning a hip against the bar, just as curious as you are. “I think kids deserve to be kids,” he shrugs. “And if I—if we—can create a space where it’s actually safe for them to do that, it feels important.” His gaze shifts from you and Toge to the empty bar, the stage and floor and high-top tables that tomorrow will be full of music and laughter and students knowing they’re allowed to let loose here.

“There aren’t a lot of places out there that are exclusively for students,” he continues. “It’s this weird phase, college, where you’re figuring out who you are, trying to take risks without losing too much. It’s a lot. And you look at the crime rates, date rape drugs, theft, DUIs, in the city, and it’s just—this place gives them the room to learn and grow and mess around and have a good time without the danger of the… I don’t know. The outside world. Does that make sense?”

He drums his fingers on the countertop, then seems to abruptly remember the recording and stops. “I think it’s just… well, no one’s allowed to take youth away from young people. So that’s why I’m here.”

You wonder what Gojo was like in school. He majored in gender studies, which you’re pretty sure is what Todo is at least minoring in, too—you’re not sure how it’s applicable to anything, but Nobara says he likes to pull his diploma out from behind the bar and say he’s an expert in women. It seems a far cry from this rare, more subdued version of Gojo you’re seeing right now. You’d guess he’s grown quite a bit in the time he’s been here. And Shoko’s been here to witness it.

He’s not a business owner, like Shoko or Geto. And according to Nobara, he definitely doesn’t need this gig to make a living. He’s here because he wants to be.

“These last few years have been nice, in particular,” he offers. “Just ‘cause some of us have kids going here. I mean, you know the Fushiguros. Suguru’s got the twins. And I know Ino’s not Nanami’s kid, but they’re tight.”

“Wait, what?” Nanami is the bar’s primary security guy, a bouncer who never lets a fake ID fool him. He’s part of the reason this place is so safe. Toge spins to look at you as you blurt out the question, caught off guard. “Uh, sorry. I just didn’t—I didn’t know they knew each other.”

Shoko studies you with tired, intelligent eyes, and you can’t help but feel the tables have been entirely flipped. You’re the one being interrogated, wordlessly, by the woman across the counter. You feel like every thought in your head is scrawled across your face for her to read.

“Yeah,” Gojo says, unaffected. “Ino looks up to him a lot, I think. Even though he’s an old man who reads the newspaper for fun.” He snorts. “He’s a good guy, though. And Ino’s a good kid.” He finally clocks the way Shoko’s looking at you and cocks his head, appraising.

Thankfully, Toge cuts in with another question. “So, we’ll be around tomorrow for the bands and to take some photos and observe,” he explains, glancing at you to make sure he’s got the information right. “Will Geto be around?” You’d wanted both owners’ perspectives, and now that Gojo’s reminded you of the twins, you’re even more curious.

“Yeah, Suguru and Utahime will be here tomorrow night,” Shoko says. “And Nanami. Geto would totally be down to talk to you some other time, too, when it’s a bit quieter.”

“Amazing,” you say, pulling the phone back toward you. You’ll need details, follow-ups, but you need to process this first, write some things down while they’re fresh in your mind. ‘Thank you so much for this. We appreciate it.”

“Anytime, kid,” Shoko says, waving you off. “See you tomorrow.”

As you turn off the recording, Gojo and Toge have already devolved into conversation about the bands and predictions about tomorrow night. A few posters are scattered across a low table near the door, and you pick one up, smiling at the blocky lettering advertising Black Flash. There are posters advertising all of the artists, and they look amazing, straight out of one of the alt rock venues in the wider city.

“They’re sick, right?” Gojo calls, nodding to the posters. “I gotta hang those up, actually. Thanks for the reminder.”

You wave goodbye to Shoko and Gojo and lead the way out, Toge just behind you.

“Man,” he says, and you brace yourself, recognizing his teasing tone for what it is. “They said Ino’s name and you look like scared Bambi or some shit.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, elbowing him.

He holds his hands up. “I’m just living in pursuit of the truth! Like Kusakabe would want.”

“Is your camera battery charged for tomorrow?” you say in a blatant attempt at a topic change.

“Who do you think I am?”

“Toge Inumaki, chronically irresponsible student and—”

“Okay, sorry I asked, holy shit.” He sticks his tongue out at you. Then he hesitates, frowning, and then he’s pulling out his phone and calling someone in his favorites list before you can see who it is. “Hey,” he greets. “What? No, she didn’t kick me out. Hey. Hey.” You snicker and Toge glares at you, pressing the phone closer to his ear. “Yutaaa,” he whines. “Do you know where my camera battery is?”

—

Even when you’re not the one on stage, you live for Fridays at The Fix. Tonight you’re doing double duty—because of the dual elimination at the end of the round, all of the competing artists are here. It’s not a requirement, but you want to see what you’re up against, and the sentiment seems to have carried. You and Toge are also in reporting mode for your project story.

The band on stage right now is… well, you can’t say new wave metal is really your thing, but it’s definitely theirs, and the audience is loving it. The Cull, you write in your notes. Look up names.

You couldn’t make out the lyrics if your life depended on it. It’s three guys and a girl, vaguely familiar, but you’re fairly certain they’re seniors and absolutely certain they’re baked right now.

“God, this is loud.” Yuta winces, turning to face you, and then his eyes flicker to something over your shoulder. You divert your attention from the stage and just catch the brief commotion in your periphery. Nanami has a kid by the elbow, and he’s escorting him out the side door, expressionless. The kid’s obviously drunk out of his mind, tripping over himself, shouting something that Nanami doesn’t bother to respond to.

Maki follows your gaze and wrinkles her nose up in distaste.

“Who’s that?”

“My cousin,” she says flatly. You glance quizzically at Megumi, who is definitely standing five feet away and not being escorted out of the bar.

“Dude, how much family do you have at this school?”

She sighs. “Just Mai and Megumi and him. Naoya. He’s a piece of shit.”

“Clearly,” Toge says. “He broke the M theme. No respect for the family alliteration.” Maki kicks him in the shin.

“One last round for The Cull!” Panda calls from the stage, and your ears slowly, very gradually stop ringing with the raging new wave music. The stage techs get to work behind Panda as he introduces the next group.

“Up next, making their debut, we’ve got a sophomore girl pop trio. Give it up for MOTION CAPTURE!”

There’s a big cheer from the bar, and you turn to see Geto grinning. Three girls take the stage, the blonde one grabbing the mic and adding, “All caps!” The girl beside her is very obviously her twin sister, though her hair is straight and dark while the blonde’s is tugged into pigtails. Light and dark. The girl on keys has a long, black bubble braid that she pushes out of the way as she settles in to play.

The blonde plugs in her electric and calls out, “Alright, I’m Nanako.” She tests out a chord, the sound reverberating, filling the bar all the way up to its high ceilings. “That’s Mimiko, that’s Remi, and we’re just here to have a good time.”

“Hey,” a voice says behind you, and you jump. You turn to find Takuma holding two drinks, offering one to you.

“Oh! Aw, thanks, you didn’t have to do that. How much do I owe you?”

He rolls his eyes. “Nothing.”

“Takuma—”

“Nothing,” he reiterates. “Anyway, The Cull. Thoughts?”

You take the drink and try it while you think on your answer—it’s the same thing Nobara got you last week. How did he know?

“I didn’t really understand any of the lyrics,” you admit, shrugging. “They weren’t bad. Not really my genre. Do you know them?”

Takuma shakes his head. “I had a gen ed once with that Rin kid, but I don’t know the other ones. These girls aren’t bad, though.” He’s right—they’ve launched into an Olivia Rodrigo cover that’s actually decent. They could work on their voice control, but they’re young and fun and having a good time and working the crowd, and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

You sing along, alternating between your drink and exchanging quips with Toge and talking with Takuma. You like this new balance between your band and his, the easy camaraderie.

When the girls wrap up their set, you whoop and cheer and Kirara shamelessly watches Hakari move things off the stage, arms bare in his cut-off tank.

“You’re subtle,” Takuma tells her, and she tugs his beanie down over his face.

“Hey!”

You grab his drink before he can spill it and grin as he yanks his hat off and readjusts it. His hair is a fluffy mess underneath, and it’s kind of endearing.

When the girl pop trio is done, two guys take the stage, one in white and one in black. They’re clearly related, dark hair and pale skin and piercing eyes, and Panda introduces them as the Kamos. You don’t know if they’re brothers or cousins or what. But they’re good—they sing a few alt rock covers, play guitar.

“Damn,” Nobara sighs, a little longingly, her gaze settling on Choso as he takes over the chorus. “They’re…”

Beside her, Yuji wrinkles his nose. “Dude. That’s my half-brother.”

Nobara hums noncommittally. “And?”

He groans, tipping his head back and staring at the exposed beams of the ceiling, run through with colored lights. “Why does this always happen?”

Toge is taking more photos of them than is strictly necessary, considering your story is about the bar and not the band, but you let him have this. Scattered throughout the crowd are more kids with cameras, freshmen from the entry-level reporting classes with big underage stamps on the backs of their hands. Somebody mistook Toge for one of them earlier, and Maki hasn’t let it go all night.

You jot down atmospheric notes on your phone, little things that’ll help set the scene for your project lede, keeping an eye on the bar as much as you can. Geto has jumped in at the bar, which he usually does when the place gets busy, and Gojo is terrorizing Utahime again.

“How’d your interview go?” Takuma asks, nodding at your notes. It shouldn’t faze you so much that he remembers what you told him about your story, but you can’t help the little kick of your heart in your chest at the reminder.

“Good! Really good.” And then you catch sight of Nanami, back at the door after calling a cab for Maki’s asshat cousin. “Actually, Gojo mentioned you.”

Takuma’s brows shoot up. “Gojo? Why?”

Nanami has always seemed incredibly reserved, stony and silent in a way Takuma has never been. You don’t want to pry, but you’re also curious about the relationship between them, how they met, what they are to each other. The journalist in you wants to know.

And then there’s the part of you that just wants to know Takuma.

“Well, he was talking about the twins and the Fushiguros, and he kind of mentioned something about you knowing Nanami?” You try to sound casual, jerking your chin toward the door where Nanami is posted, like a tall, blond guard dog.

“Oh,” he says, surprised, but he shrugs, not seeming too alarmed by the question. “Yeah, I’ve known Nanami for… a long time. He’s kind of a mentor. He’s the reason I met Fushiguro in the first place, actually, ‘cause of him knowing Gojo.”

You’re considering asking how exactly they did meet when the Kamos wrap up, Nobara staring up at them dreamily, and the stage clears out for the final artist.

Whatever questions you had are thrown out the window, because you know who this is. Everyone knows who this is.

Fifth-year student and resident SoundCloud rapper, Ryomen Sukuna. Or D!SH0NORED1, according to the posters.

“Oh, here we go,” Megumi groans.

Despite his reputation on campus, you don’t know anyone who’s actually close to Sukuna, except Uruame. You mostly know that he deals at the skate park and that he’s clean about it.

And that his raps are truly, genuinely horrible.

He lets Panda give a stilted introduction and launches into a verse, mic too close to his mouth, making hand gestures or stepping to the beat of his backing track. His tattoos are even more stark and bold under the stage lights.

“My blood type’s B, your type is me, my zodiac Caprisun, it might be controversial but you’re still lookin’ at me, son!”

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” Kirara mutters. “I’m gonna bleach my eardrums.”

“Caprisun?” Nobara whispers. “Oh, dude.”

You might be a terrible person for thinking it, but watching this guy’s performance makes you feel infinitely better about your odds of advancing in the tournament.

His final song is a new one he introduces as Frosted Flexin’, and Maki looks like she’s about ready to keel over dead.

“Frosted flexin’, I'm the cereal king, pourin' oat milk in the mix, yeah, I'm doin' my thing,” Sukuna spits in his low voice, swaggering up to the front of the stage. You are trying so hard not to lose it.

“Sukuna being an oat milk truther wasn’t on my bingo card,” Toge says.

“Got the swag of a squirrel and the brain of a dove, call me trash, but you're still showin' me love.”

“Thoughts on the amount of swag a given squirrel possesses?” you ask Takuma. He laughs, loud and bright, and then seems to very seriously consider the question.

“I don’t know if campus squirrels have swag. They live in luxury. They probably eat better than we do,” he says. You can’t argue that—you did once see a squirrel outside your sociology class run by with a full bagel in its mouth. “The wilderness squirrels, though, I think they got a scrappy kind of swag. Like, I wouldn’t cross them.”

You nod sagely. “I want them on my team in the apocalypse.”

He nudges you with a shoulder. “Am I on your team?”

You glance at him, make a show of looking him up and down. Maybe you’re imagining it, but you think he’s blushing a little. “I don’t know. How fast can you climb a tree?”

Sukuna is nearing the end of his song, now, saying, “Off-tune, out of sync, yeah, I know it's a sin, but you'll play it back twice 'cause I still might win.”

He actually, physically drops the mic and Hakari swoops in and catches it, clearing his throat and saying into it, “Yep, friendly reminder that equipment’s expensive! Everyone give our last artist of the night a hand, yeah?”

There’s scattered applause and more than a few confused faces as Sukuna lopes off stage, and Panda hops back up to explain the voting system for anyone who wasn’t here last week. “QR codes to the Google form are posted around the bar,” he says.

Out of all eight artists, the bottom two will be eliminated. You’re nervous. But voting was open last week too. You can’t vote as a member of the band, and it’s all done through school Google accounts to avoid double votes or the link getting sent out to non-students.

“Open until tomorrow morning,” Panda reminds the audience. “Results and second round schedules will be posted on the Instagram at some point tomorrow! That’s it for this Friday at The Fix. Have a great night, folks. Get home safe.”

Gojo whoops dramatically from the bar, and Panda gives him a weird look before getting off stage.

Your friends start heading toward the door, and you grab Toge and excuse yourself to catch Geto at the bar. Gojo sees you first. “The newsies!” he calls.

“Like the musical?” you say in lieu of a greeting. “Banger soundtrack.”

“I could dance on newspapers,” Toge says.

“Geto!” The Fix’s other owner smiles at you, soft and genuine. Part of his dark hair is pulled back and the rest hangs loose over his shoulders, a stark contrast to Gojo—like the Kamos, you think, or like Nanako and Mimiko. Light and dark. “We were wondering if you’d be down to set up a time to talk. Has Gojo told you about our story at all?”

Geto smiles, drying a glass and leaning against the bar. “He told me he’s gonna be the front page of every paper in the city, which I assume is a horrid exaggeration,” he says. Gojo looks affronted. “Shoko mentioned you’re doing a feature for class, though. I’d be happy to.”

“We have our Monday night class time open for field reporting the week after this one,” Toge offers. “Will you be around?”

“I will indeed. Utahime, too, if you want to speak to both of us. And Gojo won’t be here, which might be beneficial for you.”

“Suguru,” Gojo gasps, pretending to stagger back. “You wound me.”

“Mhm,” he says, unaffected. “What time works best for you two?”

You set up a time to interview Geto and Utahime, then say goodbye to him and Gojo and run to catch up to your friends. It’s a nice night, and since you didn’t have to deal with instruments, you all decided to walk.

“How goes the… journalisming? Journaling?” Takuma asks when you fall into step beside him.

“Good, all good. Reporting is maybe a better word, but valiant effort.”

“I like journalisming. Can you just submit words to the official dictionary? I’m gonna do it.”

“No,” Toge says, and you blink. He shrugs. “What? I tried once. But the only submission form I could find was for the Bureau of Linguistical Reality and it wasn’t like, a legitimate dictionary form. There’s all these requirements, it’s horrible.”

“What word did you try to submit?” you ask warily, not sure if you actually want to know.

“Some things,” Toge says solemnly, “are better kept secret.”

The night is hazy, only small rays of moonlight piercing through the cloud cover, and you make your way through the campus roads guided only by the streetlamps and Maki’s reliable sense of direction.

Part of you wants to ask Takuma to come over, or Yuji to insist the band come over to his place again, just so you can keep talking. But you have work to do, things to write and transcribe, lists of follow-up questions to make, and that’s only your workload for this one class. You still have exams this week, and you need to study now so you can balance it with rehearsals. Assuming you actually advanced to round two, that is.

And part of you worries you might be taking this too fast, too. You don’t typically integrate people into your life so quickly. You like spending time with Takuma and Kirara and Yuji and even Megumi, though he’s pretty quiet. You just don’t want to jump in too far too fast.

At your place, you say your goodbyes and head up to your room to get some work done. Toge uploads his photos and puts them in your project folder on Drive. And you spend the night doing what you do best, aside from drumming—writing.

Youth for the young: JU alumni run safest live music bar in city limits

You don’t even notice the time until it’s past one in the morning, and you’re nearly asleep at your desk. The dark has crept across your room, the only source of light the desk lamp and your laptop screen. Finally, you push the computer shut and flick off the light, flopping into your bed. A few missed messages pop up when you hold your phone up, wincing at the bright screen.

takuma: just letting you know i made the treacherous journey home safely takuma: many miles of hardship takuma: thought i was gonna die halfway there

You smirk and type out a reply.

you: did kirara have to save you takuma: i resent that takuma: (yes) takuma: wait why are you up it’s so late you: journalisming you: why are YOU up takuma: travel adrenaline takuma: (coding project due monday that i just started) you: TAKUMA

The next text to come through is a voice note, and you can’t help smiling as you hit play and his voice fills the open air of your bedroom.

“Okay, in my defense, I thought it was due next Monday. Which maybe isn’t my defense because it means I just can’t read due dates, or maybe I just can’t read, but I thought I had a lot more time and then one of my classmates texted me asking for help on this block of code and I told him I hadn’t started and he was like oh my god, Ino, it’s due in three days, and I was like no it’s not, we have so much time—turns out we don’t have so much time, so I’m over here staring at my screen until the vessels in my eyes pop—”

He yawns, and it makes you yawn too, despite the screen separating you. “Sorry, agh. Anyway, I have to write this program that uses some kind of randomized generator…”

You find your eyelids fighting gravity, exhaustion washing over you as he explains the project and all the reasons he’s not that worried about getting it done by Monday because actually he’s on a roll and it turns out the code isn’t that different from a similar project he did last year so he can just lift the main blocks over and wow, he’s tired, and you stifle a laugh as the voice memo comes to an end and he says, “Okay, gosh, I should go to bed. You should go to bed. Stop journalisming, Skip, get some sleep. G’night.”

You grin, plugging your phone in and sending him a voice memo of your own.

“I’m done journalisming. Still haven’t written that story on you, though. Night, Takuma.”

The last thing you see before you fall asleep is his reaction to your text. It’s a thumbs up, but after a few seconds, it disappears, replaced with a heart.

—

“I’m gonna die,” Nobara groans.

You’ve been checking Instagram every hour on the hour for the bracket results, but to no avail. The five of you are sprawled out in the living room, a Fleetwood Mac record spinning in the corner, cups of coffee and tea and scattered remnants of breakfast dotting the table and the floor and the windowsill.

You have post notifications on for the Battle of the Bands Instagram page, but you check anyway, as if you somehow missed it.

“Okay,” Maki says. “Cut it out. No phones.”

“Maki,” Toge groans. “How do we live with the suspense?”

“Go around and give a rundown of your week?” Yuta suggests.

“Aw, highs and lows, it’s like elementary school,” Nobara says happily. “I’ll go first! High: annoying slacker guy in my marketing class got a shit grade on the group project and the rest of us got As. Low: Skipper won’t give me Ino lore.”

“Lore,” you mimic. “I don’t have any lore. We’ve known each other for like, two weeks.”

“That’s enough time for lore,” she insists. “What’s your high? Ino?”

“Okay, jeez,” you say. “Maybe it’s that Toge and I had a really good first interview for our project story.”

Toge blinks at you.

“Fine, maybe it’s Takuma.”

Nobara grins in a way you can only describe as malicious. “Okay,” you say, pointing at her. “Low: whatever that is.” She sticks her tongue out at you.

“My low is Skipper bullying me in class,” Toge says. “And my high is she said she’d be my partner, so I’m not gonna fail.”

Yuta nods sagely. “Maki?”

“Uhh,” she says eloquently. “My parents won’t stop pestering me about fall break. But I aced a test on Thursday in anthro, so there’s that.”

“You’re not going home, right?” you ask. She shakes her head resolutely. Maki doesn’t go home unless she absolutely has to—one thing she and Mai actually have in common.

All of your phones go off at once, a mix of buzzes and beeps and Apple watchfaces lighting up, and Nobara screams. “I can’t look!” she cries. “Someone tell me!”

You click on the notification and pull up the post, heart racing.

The first slide is a generic Battle of the Bands announcement with the cool ass graphics you’ve been seeing on the posters. Whoever designs those needs a raise. The second image is the bracket for next Friday, with the first knockout round of three—only one group will move on to the finals. “Who is it?” Nobara asks anxiously, pacing the room. “Oh god, I’m gonna die.”

“Shibuya Incident,” you read off, unable to keep the smile from your face. “Angel.” Nobara groans overdramatically. “And the Kamos.”

You swipe to the next screen, heart in your throat. OCTOBER 18, it reads. THE CULL. CURSED TECHNIQUE. BLACK FLASH.

“Oh my god!” you scream. “Oh my god, we made it!”

Toge yanks you to your feet and starts hopping around the living room, and Nobara shrieks with joy as you pull her into the celebration. Even Maki and Yuta are sporting wide smiles as they watch the three of you bounce around like kids on a sugar rush.

“What, no Sukuna?” Maki teases when you’ve calmed down. Toge clears his throat and does his best impression, going as far as to make his pants sag a little around his waist.

“Frosted flexin’, I’m the cereal king, pourin’… uh, duh nuh nuh, something doin’ my thing,” he says in a deep voice. “Uh… squirrel? Somethin’ fuego, that’s Spanish, uhhh…”

“Oh my god, let me look it up,” Nobara cackles, pulling up SoundCloud. “It’s I’m the king of bad decisions, got a throne made of Legos, took a bite of my mic and said these bars are fuego.”

Yuta physically winces. “Does he really sag his pants like that?”

Toge shrugs. “It felt right in the moment.”

“Wait, who’s the other one eliminated, then?” you ask, running through the bands in your head. Yours, Takuma’s, Black Flash, the Kamos…

“Motion Capture,” Maki says.

“No, it’s all caps. You have to shout it. MOTION CAPTURE!” Toge hollers. Nobara snorts.

You aren’t entirely surprised, but you have a feeling the girls aren’t too put out about it. They’re young, too—they’ll have their time to shine eventually.

You grin, flopping back onto the couch. “Okay, rehearsal when? Tonight?”

“Yeah, I have to go to a friend’s to figure some stuff out for a project, but I’ll be back at like… five?” Yuta says.

“Oh, fuck, I gotta go too!” Nobara says, darting toward the stairs.

“Group project?” Maki asks.

“Shopping! I gotta pick Miwa up in like, ten minutes!”

Maki rolls her eyes fondly. Yuta stands up and grabs his bag, heading toward the entryway, and the rest of you gravitate instinctually to the kitchen. Nobara is out the door moments later with a wave and a shout, and Toge grins.

“What,” Maki deadpans, not a question.

“I printed memes to hide on her Polaroid wall. Be right back.”

You snort, turning your attention to the window to watch Nobara cruise down the block. The view of her sleek, small car is interrupted by Yuta’s jungle of plants.

“I hope they’re not too cold,” he says, frowning as he tugs a jacket on over his white hoodie. “Do they look okay to you?”

“Yeah,” you say, pointing to the one in the white, ovular pot. “Especially this one, it’s getting so big! What’s his name, Snorlax?” Yuta had a phase where he named at least six plants in a row after Pokèmon.

“No, that one’s Rika, after that TV show,” Maki corrects, not looking up. Yuta blinks, looks between her and the plant, whose vines have started to creep up the window. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. Both of your eyes on her have her looking up from her phone, expression flat and unaffected. “What?”

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “I didn’t know… anyone paid attention.”

Maki shrugs. “You talk to them out loud.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Yuta laughs and waves one last time before he walks out, closing the door behind him. You count to five in your head and then whirl on Maki, entirely unable to keep the shit-eating grin off your face.

“Kowalski, status report.”

She blinks at you. “What?”

“I said—”

“No, I know, just—on what? What happened?”

You groan, dragging the heels of your hands down your face. “Maki. Please.” You gesture wildly between her and the door, wondering if she’s genuinely this oblivious or if she’s just as good a liar as Mai. “Are you—did we not just witness the same interaction? Jesus, Maki, put the boy out of his misery!”

Seeing Maki frazzled is not a common occurrence. The most agitated you ever see her is talking about her family or trading passive aggressive jabs with Mai. This is an entirely new sort of disarray—she’s flustered.

“I—what?! I can’t do that! And he’s not miserable. He’s that nice to everyone.”

You groan, burying your face in your hands with your elbows on the counter. “Maki! He likes you. And your face is telling me you like him back.”

She scoffs, turning her head down and crossing her arms defensively. “I’m not messing things up by dating my bandmate. We live together, Skip, he’s my best friend, if things got messy—”

You hold up a hand. “First of all, offensive. I’m your best friend. Second of all, I hear no denial. Also, it won’t get messy. You are the two most mature people in this house and you know how to separate personal from practical. If anything, it’s gonna kill the vibes of the band and the house if you just keep stewing in the sexual tension.”

“Oh my god,” Maki groans. “There. Is. No. Sexual. Tension.”

“There’s always sexual tension,” Toge announces, walking in and jumping up onto the countertop, legs swinging. He looks between the two of you innocently. “What are we talking about?”

“You might be of some help, actually,” you say, turning to Toge with your hands clasped.

“Uh, actually? Not oh, Toge, you’re always so helpful, thank god you live with me and keep my life interesting—”

“Nevermind.”

“No, pleeease,” Toge insists, sticking out his lower lip. “What?” His gaze shifts to Maki, who’s blushing a furious red. His mouth turns into a small O. “This is about Yuta?”

You didn’t think she could get any more scarlet, but here she is.

“Does everyone think that?” she groans, throwing her head back in exasperation.

Toge shrugs. “I thought we were all just quietly skirting around it until you both snapped.”

“Nobara doesn’t skirt around anything,” Maki says.

“Well, there’s no way she doesn’t know,” you point out. “Maybe she just respects both of you enough to leave it alone.”

“Hah!” Toge snorts, poking you in the ribs. “That means she doesn’t respect you. She wants the Ino lore.”

“I’m gonna tell Nobara about the memes.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Abruptly, you realize you never got around to Yuta for highs and lows, what with the chaos of the brackets dropping. “Ah, guys,” you say. “We missed Yuta.” You pull up the house group chat.

you: YUTA DROP YOUR HIGH AND LOW IN THE CHAT you: YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN freak no. 1: yes you are utah: haha aw that’s nice utah disliked a message from freak no. 1 utah: uhh low is maybe that toge keeps leaving memes all over our room. like i keep finding them tucked in my notebooks and everything freak no. 1: SLANDER freak no. 1: LIBEL you: not the same thing freak no. 1: SHUT UP utah: high is someone remembers the names of my plants!! :) nobara: Sorry, using voice text while I drive. Who knows the names of your plants? You and God? utah: maki! :)

“Okay, well, respond,” Toge says, poking Maki in the side. She glares at him and likes Yuta’s message.

“Guys,” she says exasperatedly. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Does he know?”

And you’re not sure, honestly. You don’t know that Yuta is even aware of his own feelings, let alone aware that Maki reciprocates them. You shrug helplessly. “How about… ask?”

“Jesus,” Maki says.

“Not him, Yuta.”

Maki socks Toge in the shoulder and levels him with a disdainful look. “You are the bane of my existence.”

“And the object of all your desires,” Toge proclaims in a horrendous Bridgerton accent. He made you watch all of it with him in two days. Maki refused.

Now, she just shoves him, and he squeals as he falls off the kitchen counter.

“Children,” you sigh. “Do you need to be separated?”

“Yes!”

—

“Why is this so hard?” You stand with your feet planted on Takuma’s skateboard, which is confoundingly, entirely different than balancing atop your longboard. “Oh my god.” You lurch forward as the board rolls a bit to the left, unable to stifle the squeal that comes out of your mouth.

Takuma stops it with one foot.

“Your center of balance is lower on a longboard,” he laughs. “Like, here.” His hands wrap around your waist and you tense under his grip, and he immediately freezes, jerking his arms back. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t—”

“No! No, it’s okay,” you blurt, sheepish. “I just wasn’t expecting it, I—here.” You try to fight the blush furiously rising in your cheeks as you take his wrists in both hands, putting them back where they were. You clear your throat, suddenly too warm. “Um. Okay, so—do you turn the same way?”

“Pretty much. You just lean,” Takuma says, and you shift your weight to your heels, letting him steady you. “It’s a bit harsher than you would on a longboard, though. Unless you want me to send you right into kickturns?” His tone is teasing and you pretend to consider, tapping a finger against your chin.

“Mm. Maybe later.”

You’ve been at the skate park for a while now, and you’ve only recently ditched your longboard for the skateboard. Takuma brought the extra board you saw hanging on his wall the other day, and he uses it to demonstrate while you practice riding back and forth, getting a hold on your balance. After you feel like you can make it a good distance without pinwheeling your arms, you come to a staggered stop beside him.

A flash of blue-green hair grabs your attention, and you watch a kid in a lightning bolt hoodie slip under the ramps. The park has been pretty deserted today aside from a few guys doing tricks in the pit, a chilly Sunday with the sunlight muted by the clouds.

“Ooh, drug deal in action.” You poke Takuma in the side.

“Ah, probably Sukuna. He deals here all the time.” Sukuna’s business is one of those things everyone’s aware of but nobody talks about. He’s consistent and pretty safe, as far as drug dealers go, but he’ll deny any involvement while smoking a joint if he has to.

“Who’s space buns?”

“Uhh…” Takuma narrows his eyes, and the guy slips out again. “Damn, that was fast. Oh, that’s Hajime. Another senior, I think. They hate each other. Fastest deals I’ve ever seen.”

“I wonder how much of his songwriting is just… while he’s really, really high,” you muse. Swag of a squirrel doesn’t strike you as a particularly levelheaded thought, but hey, it’s certainly memorable.

Takuma leans in and says conspiratorially, “I’m pretty sure I heard him dropping bars here the other day when I was with Yuji.”

You snort and look up at one of the smallest ramps, one you think you could handle without falling on your face, and point to it with a raised brow.

“Oh, moving up in the world?” Takuma kicks his board up and starts walking over, and you do the same. Before you put the board down at the top of the ramp, though, you hold it up to the light, noticing a few short, white hairs caught on the surface.

“Is this… fur?” Maybe there was a cat hiding out somewhere when you were over. Kirara seems like she’d have a cat.

Takuma sighs. “Yeah, the dogs shed like crazy. It gets everywhere. I don’t think I even left that on the ground.”

Your jaw drops, and you stare at him until he looks back at you. “Dogs?”

“What? Yeah, Fushiguro’s—”

“Fushiguro has dogs? Dogs plural? In the house?”

“You didn’t know?”

“No!” you cry. “What? Oh my god! Where were they on Wednesday? How many? What are their names?”

Takuma leans back on the rail next to the ramp, grinning. “I can’t believe you didn’t know. Oh my god. They’re so cute. Tsumiki had them Wednesday, I think. Mandated auntie time. Do you wanna meet ‘em?”

“Do I want to meet them?” you repeat, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Uh, yeah. Are they home? Oh my god. I love dogs.”

“I couldn’t tell,” he deadpans, but he’s smiling still. “Yeah, they’re home. And you can meet them if you go down this ramp without dying.”

“You’re cruel,” you say, situating yourself on the board. “But I will. And then I’ll meet the dogs and become their best friend and they’ll love me more than you and Megumi combined.”

“Confident.” He comes up beside you, checking your stance. The ramp didn’t look steep or long at all from your vantage point across the park, but now that you’re atop the board, it feels suddenly very steep and very long. “You got it. Just don’t panic, keep your stance.” He drops his own board and cruises down the ramp, hardly even trying.

“Okay, go!” he calls from the bottom. “C’mon, Skip, the dogs are waiting.”

“Oh, god,” you murmur, the wind catching your words and whisking them away. You ball your hands into fists and push off, planting your foot back on the board and trying to keep your knees bent, but not too stiff, as you careen down the ramp. Don’t panic, keep your stance. You’re at the bottom in what feels like nanoseconds, and the sudden shift from ramp to flat ground has you stumbling off the board with an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak of alarm.

“Nice!” Takuma laughs as he catches you, the board rolling a few more feet ahead. His arm is wrapped around your front, the other holding you up by the shoulder, and this time you don’t tense under his hands.

“Thanks,” you say a little breathlessly, grinning, the tiny spike of adrenaline making you almost lightheaded. He lets his hands drop when you’re steady on your feet, and part of you mourns the warmth a little. But there are more pressing matters at hand. “So, about those dogs?”

You opt for your longboard on the way back down your street, cruising along beside Takuma, who has his extra board tucked under his arm. You’ve got a lot to do tonight, all the last-minute preparation for another crazy week, but you can and will drop everything to pet a puppy. Or two. Always.

And they’re actual angels. Big, fluffy angels on earth, one white and one black, and they’re all over you the second you open the door.

“Hi!” you say happily, sinking down to their level. The white one immediately tries to burrow into your lap. “Oh, hello! You’re so nice, aren’t you?” You glance up at Takuma. “Where’s Megumi?” You grab the white one’s collar and check the tag—Shiro.

“Shiro thinks she’s a tiny dog,” he says, bending down to ruffle the fur behind her ears. “Uh, Fushiguro’s at the animal clinic. He works there Sundays. And Tuesdays, I think.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, he’s a vet student. You didn’t know?”

“I did not.” The black one is licking your face, and you giggle and check his tag, too. Kuro. “Hi, Kuro. You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

“He’s got such a soft spot for animals,” Takuma says as he kicks off his shoes. “You should see when they both try to sleep in his little twin bed. It’s ridiculous.”

“I love them,” you say, burying your face in Kuro’s scruff. “Hi, doggies. You’re awful cute, you know that? Mhm. Yes you are.”

When you finally look up again, Kuro’s cold nose nudging insistently at your palm, Takuma is leaning against the wall, looking down at you with his phone discreetly angled your way. “Takuma!”

He laughs, not bothering to hide it anymore, very clearly taking photos of you with the dogs. “It’s cute!” he insists. “I’ll send them to you. Proof for Fushiguro of your master plan to make them like you more than him.”

“And you,” you remind him.

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

You gesture pointedly to the two dogs, who are all over you and not him. It’ll be a nightmare trying to get all of Shiro’s white fur off your black jacket later, but it’s worth it.

“You’re new,” he says. “New scent. It’s the novelty factor. I am their favorite.”

“You sure? I’m pretty hard to compete with.”

He smiles, looking from you to the photos he took of you and the dogs. “Yeah,” he says. “You are.”

—

The first half of the new week goes by in a rushed routine of classes, homework, and rehearsals, each night ending with you collapsing into bed, new and old lyrics fighting for dominance in the back of your mind. Sticks re-taped and drum heads re-tuned, assignments turned in and drafts edited. Your classes are ramping up as midterms approach, and Yuta bounces between his own work and poking his head into everyone’s rooms, making sure they don’t forget about dinner.

Toge follows through on his snack run promise, and the two of you spend hours on Tuesday afternoon trading two different flavored bags of Doritos back and forth, Toge writing photo captions while you edit your story lede.

Takuma, Hakari, and Kirara have offered to help Cursed Technique record a single on Wednesday night, and the five of you have been drilling the new song you wrote up, down, and sideways.

Finally, Wednesday arrives, and you’re all crammed into the recording studio space, instruments set up and headsets tuned in.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Nobara says to Hakari on the other side of the glass. She taps a finger on the mic in demonstration, and you hear it in your own headphones.

“Great,” he says. “Skipper?”

“Skipper? I hardly know her,” Toge says, earning a harmless smack upside the head from Yuta and a not harmless smack upside the head from Maki.

“I will throw these at you,” you tell him, holding up your sticks. Toge sticks his bottom lip out, pouting.

A snicker from beside you draws your attention back to Takuma, kneeling just beside the throne as he adjusts the kick mic. He has you hit it a few times while Hakari monitors the levels. You feel oddly self-conscious like this, him looking up at you, but then he smiles and it’s not strange at all. It’s stupid how fast he can put you at ease with a look.

“Nice,” he says. “Okay, that should work, yeah, Hakari?”

It’s Kirara who answers, “Yeah, you’re good.”

Takuma stands up, claps his hands together once, and looks at you. “Okay. Kill it, Skip.”

“Yessir.” You salute him with a stick and he makes his way to the other room, closing the door behind him.

“All good?” Yuta asks, glancing at each of you in turn before giving Hakari a thumbs up. It’s strange to be on this side of the glass, to think about your music being played back, to think about it on Spotify, out in the world.

“Next Fix,” Takuma says into the mic, locking eyes with you through the window. “Take one in three, two…”

The song starts out simple. You click your sticks together near the mic, on two and four, while Maki lays down a four-bar loop.

Yuta keeps glancing at Maki while she plays, utterly unaware, and the look on his face is so soft you want to shake Maki by the shoulders until she does something about it.

Nobara’s got her eyes closed with the headset over her ears and her hands around the mic, entirely engrossed in the song.

“It’s comin’ on, comin’ strong, spinnin’ up out of the blue, mmm,” she sings, stretching out the vowels. “And I’m on the ground, bleedin’ out, until my next fix of you, ooh.”

Now you start up with a light rock beat, closed hat and a bit of a dragging buzz on the snare hits. Just as you transition into the beat, Toge comes in with some low chords and Yuta moves down the line in syncopated sixteenths.

Hakari is nodding approvingly and Takuma has a wide grin on his face, and you can’t help smiling back.

“I need it like a lung,” Nobara sings, swaying a bit. “I need it like a light. It’s got me twisted up. I need you here tonight, tonight, tonight, oh, oh, I wanna—”

And this part is your favorite—Nobara sings each two-syllable phrase while you pound on the toms twice, emphasizing it with the kick, and then the backup vocals echo her. Get my (get my) next fix (next fix) of you (of you, of you, of you.)

Kirara pumps her fist in the air twice, in time with the beat, and your bandmates can’t keep the smiles off their faces. You’ve got something here, you really do. This might be your best one yet.

When the song’s over, Nobara whoops and tugs off the headphones, jumping around the cramped studio space with a grin on her face. “That was so cool! Oh my god. Guys, we sound good. We actually sound good.”

“Damn,” Kirara calls. “Okay, girl drummer. Good shit.”

“Not bad for a first run,” Maki admits, adjusting her bass strap over her shoulder. “Do we wanna try recording backups separately at all?”

“Good call.” Takuma nods. “Let’s run that again without the backups and record them over, see what happens.” He’s in full producer mode, flipping switches, colored lights reflecting in his eyes as he and Hakari talk shop away from the mic. He’s good at this, you realize, running sessions like this, making sure things go where they need to go, that everyone’s heard, that things get done. It’s a little bit like watching him skateboard, or seeing him on stage. There’s a confidence to him here, a smooth, easy energy. He’s in his element.

“Alright,” he says after a minute. “Let’s hear that again.”

And you play it again. And again. And again. And you are so in love with this moment, with your band, with a couple rowdy kids on the other side of the window, the rasp in Nobara’s voice and the expression on Yuta’s face and Maki’s obliviousness and Toge’s consistent, head-banging keys, and your drums and your words and the music, and the lyrics feel right to you.

You need this like a lung.

directory | prev. |

jjk taglist open: just send me a message!

@shutuppeter @mikikkoo @reactwithjan @theclassbookworm @lilactaro @bisforbuse @risararelywrites @idkidk32

a/n: GUYS. loml @shutuppeter is so downbad for soundcloud rapper sukuna that she's writing fanfic of my fanfic😭 credits for frosted flexin' are all hers LMFAO so go check that out (MDNI for that one though).

yutamaki nation rise. also, i kinda love this fic. there may be spinoffs for other characters in the works...

[plusvanity]

Some silly little HCS for my fics:

NPD x NPD

-you might think this is the worst combo imaginable and you're damn right, except that they actually make it work because Abbath is overt while Varg is (for the most of the time) covert

-they're practicing mirroring and enabling one another to do stupid and impulsive shit, so they only get worse

-cocky bastards, inflated sense of self, grandiosity and all that jazz that basically hides raging insecurities. One wants to live it up like Lemmy Kilmister while the other is dreaming of being a dictator

-the empty schizoid core dilemma: Abbath is a fucking alcoholic because he cannot stand his own emptiness on a sober and lucid mind. Varg is arguably better because he wants to remain sober and as sharp as possible because he knows that when he drinks a little whisky he's the bottom of Abbath's jokes

-the Dead Mother concept

-Varg inevitably becomes overt because his false ego grows like a tumor on Abbath and it makes things harder for both of them

-narcissistic rage and pity parties

-they never actually give one another narcissistic supply because Varg is too fucking proud to admit he likes taking it up the ass while Abbath doesn't know how to talk with mean girls (especially those who piss while standing, have scars on their faces and like setting shit on fire)

-pyromaniacs, thought it was worth mentioning

-friends with benefits is just an excuse for being deprived together

-Abbath actually makes the fatal mistake to fall in love with Varg and he's massively disappointed when he sees Varg growing a beard instead of tits but he's sad and lonely anyway so he'll take whatever he gets. He's no high maintenance

-Varg is an asshole and breaks Abbath's heart as if it wasn't enough that Abbath breaks his liver every night in Apollon

-neither one is optimistic about the future and that's for a good reason

NPD x ASP

-you would assume that this isn't healthy because Varg can do the automatic bitch move of 'swallowing' Pelle's personality whole but he doesn't. He behaves exemplarily because he's desperate to find someone to love him despite being a sore loser

-the shared fantasy: they both live like elves in Tolkien's little fairytale (although Pelle lives like a strigoi in Transylvania) because real life just sucks and because they're both so deeply misunderstood

-both are very bad at communication, especially Pelle, but Varg is naturally quite observant and tries to find out what's bothering his lover. When Varg is silent, it is mostly because he's either entirely collapsed (narcissistic collapse) or his ego is injured. Pelle usually gives him space, but if Varg doesn't get better in a few days, he'll eventually try to talk with him, which is very tricky because Pelle doesn't speak Norwegian

-nerdy sleepovers braiding their hair together and watching Pelle Svanslös (the 1981 version)

-both are big introverts, but the difference between them is that Pelle is asocial while Varg is prosocial (he still needs narcissistic supply even if he prefers solitude instead of human interaction. It's quite complex and disappointing)

-they both read one another like open books because they have seen everything the other can offer (the good, the ugly and that weird thing in between)

-Pelle's emptiness and ego-death is different from Varg's narcissistic emptiness, but they find comfort in one another no matter what. The most powerful thing that Pelle told Varg was 'if you don't have any sense of self and you are just a mirror that can reflect anything, why not try to reflect me instead of the anger of your parents?' because in this way, Pelle gave Varg a chance to be a better, less hateful and less vindictive version of himself. Of course Varg is still struggling and probably always will

-they desperately need love and they're emotionally depended on one another. Once Pelle cracked Varg's defense mechanisms and vice-versa there was no turning back, they had to be the other's salvation

- trust issues rule over them. Very careful with people around them, they're both paranoid and highly protective with each other

-Varg doesn't look for narcissistic supply in Pelle because he doesn't want to take all of Pelle's energy. It's a boundary that he has for himself in order not to ruin their relationship, so he uses fanboys like Fenriz to tell him how great he is and all this nonsense

-they do love each other deeply. Even if they never experienced true love before, they know that their feelings are true and it's the only thing that makes life bearable

NPD x ASPD

-this is where all the scary shit begins

-every failed psychopath is a narcissist (this should tell you a lot about narcissistic rage because they can't be anything but angry losers)

-partners in crime (or rather Varg is Faust's little chewing toy)

-what happens when you take the ego and the super-ego of an individual? You're right. All you're left with is great, kinky sex. (Freud would've laughed. It's a good joke, actually)

-Faust can and will make Varg worse. It's a matter of time until he breaks Varg's core

-church burnings, vandalism, robbery, murder, gay sex, cannibalism and whatever else you would expect from two mentally deranged, ego-dystonic young and highly hormonal bastards

-Faust's chronic and incurable boredom is just what makes him get an interest in Vikernes in the first place. What they have is not a relationship to him, but an opportunity to have fun

-manipulation, gaslighting, abuse, etc. It's basically a Killing Stalking situation but Varg isn't going down without a fight or a good fuck

-drunk non-consensual coitus

-one of the dirtiest moves Faust does on Varg is shaving his head of after a nasty fight, so he strips him of all of his integrity and dignity to show him who's the boss (for a bit of context: it's Varg's fault that he tried to run off with their stolen money)

-they do a lot of crazy shit but get rid of the evidence. They firmly believe the police are dumb enough not to get them

-the empty schizoid core x2 again, although one of them is even worse

-Faust is able to get Vikernes through the full cycle of narcissistic emotional outbursts from total collapse to needy borderline to secondary sociopathy while Varg is only able to get Faust pissed

-buried past, non existent future, just live in the moment. Carpe diem, brothers ✌✌✌

-the lone wolf and the hungry tiger archetypes. The consumption is visceral and that's all I have to say

[miifu666]

What do you think suklha and Wukong kid would look like if they did have one ? 🤔 …..Celestial realm one fear after hearing those two are courting each other 👀

Theres 2 reasons, i believe they would have a child.

1. Yandere! Wukong AU.

2. It was an accident. A GENUINE accident

_____

CW : mentions of abortion, body dysphoria, weird descriptions of pregnancy, Im trying to write it as how Suklha would view it as so it might be uncomfortable, Pregnant Monkey Suklha Doodles?

Lets say its the Latter, should Suklha accidentally drank the water of fertility and somehow had sex with Wukong. She will try to abort the child, out of respect for their life, not out of disgust. Its a child thats created by a creature from within and outside of this universe, to bear one means to conceive a natural disaster. A sort of Red boy and his samadhi fire. But this time, it can sever through time and erase everything from History, a true personification of the end of death and end of life.

Even as Wukong tried to fight the logical side of Suklha, she would insist on not keeping the child. Preferring to care for the mountain cubs than creating such a trigger. "out of the safety for this wretched world" she would claim, but also a part of her is afraid of what outcome, what probability should come once she does give birth.

It is definitely something the Celestials wouldn't want happening. They'll stop at nothing to try and destroy a pregnant Suklha, in which case is also in monkey form. To ensure the child won't be an amalgamation of anthropod and mammal, a combination of two completely different animal kingdoms that shouldn't exist.

Throughout the pregnancy, Suklha would try to lay low with the cubs following her around, and a couple of Wukong's clones being at her beck and call. One would walk beside her, and the other stayed hidden, out of plain sight. Should Wukong have other businesses to attend to. Wearing long and loose garments to walk around the estate, Suklha tries to hide the wretching feeling of carrying something inside of her. She's already dealt with her identity crisis, and now the thought of something living and itching inside is giving her nausea at every second. The pregnancy won't last much, as the combination of her pure Centipede features and current Monkey form will take around 4-6 months.

Should the child come, it would be the day all hell broke loose. With the underworld using its knowledge on destroying Suklha's vessel, to the Celestials who would try and take the child away, only to keep it in a capsule buried deep within the earth's core. As they have planned, use anything in their arsenal to destroy whatever hope the Monkey king and the messenger have. In this time, Suklha checked the probability and successfully ran to one of the dragons that she kept in touch with. A plan that the celestials wouldn't figure out, to be an opposite of how you usually am. A dragon of the South, A Lady of the red who runs a small village as their protector.

Suklha would soon give birth in the village, particularly in one of the Lady Dragon's estate. While Wukong would try to fight off the several armies, theres a few fake clones of Suklha around Flower Fruit mountain hiding to act as a decoy. The laboring process is enough to shake the heavens. there's a slight tear in the fabric of the universe at each scream, small cracks forming around Suklha as she continues to push out the child inside of her.

I haven't thought much about the child, i think she'll be someone who is spiteful and energetic (as she should, her parents basically are. It should be a genetic trait atp) but still friendly and cheerful, a glance of her attitude, and you'd never expect she'll scream and curse like a sailor with a cheeky face.

Connsidering both of her own parents are revered gods and beings, she would be bold enough to not get intimidated by mere threats. Prone to lashing out violently, should things "isn't logical at all!!"Despite her bold and strong-willed attitude, she's smart enough to understand the things her mom would give. A small advice and she'll see it how her mom would do it.

A contradiction is what she is. Appear cold and withdrawn when you see her around, yet quickly changes once she warms up to you. Showing a more childlike and jovial side. Someone who shines like the sun under daylight, a being unlike any other beneath the moonlight.

A child who has both the ability of Sun Wukong and Suklha, a mix of Trickery and Knowledge. A child of Sorcery, eager to spread knowledge through the world, she is the reason why humanity is hell bent on discovery the maddness within the void. The truth behind the lies, since her birth humanity has been deriven to madness and delusions far more often than it should.

[logogreffe]

In November of last year I decided that I was going to read a book a week. This was a weird challenge because I had been incapable of reading more than a page without my mind being distracted. I decided that this had to end. We're almost in December and I've read 55 books so far. So I wanted to tell you guys how I did it.

First, a few rules I've made up : - If I read two books during one week, I don't have to read and/or finish anything the following week. - This is not a race ! I'm basically aiming for 4 books a month more than 1 book a week. I've finished reading 3 books in June but finished reading 5 in July to "compensate". Some advices on how to get back into reading :

1. READ IN YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE : Out of the 55 books I've read only 10 were in English, the rest were in French (my mother language). Listen, I know you're fluent in this and that but hear me out : I don't care. Think of your poor brain, with the attention span of a wooden spoon. Don't make it harder on yourself and read a book in your damn mother language !

2. LENGTH OF THE BOOKS You use to read 500-page books in a few days as a child / teenager ? Me too, but again, you wouldn't join a marathon right now just because you did one 10 years ago, you have to start slowly. So avoid dense books when you start (aim between 10 and 300 pages, not above for now).

3. UNTOUCHED PILE OF BOOKS For the love of the universe, don't even look at that pile of books next to your bed or in your living room. It doesn't exist, okay ? You could not read them before, you will not suddenly be able to read them now. You're not ready for this.

4. LIBRARY But If I can't look at the pile of untouched books in my home, what do I do ? You go to your local library (hopefully you have access to it) and what you're going to do is simple : you're not going to meticulously pick one book, no no you're going to walk around and take 4-5 books with you. Why ? Because this isn't a punishment, you have to enjoy your reading experience. Which brings me to my next point...

5. LETTING GO Something that I found hard at first and that I still struggle with : if a book doesn't interest you YOU CLOSE IT AND YOU TAKE ANOTHER ONE. Same thing if you realize the content is just too much for you, YOU CLOSE THE BOOK AND YOU TAKE ANOTHER ONE. Personally, I really wanted to read "Little Life" by Hanya Yanagihara. I couldn't do it, it was too much. I almost dreaded opening the book, so I put it aside. One day I'll read it, or maybe not, and that's okay. No one is going to punish you for not finishing a book, nobody cares (this is not highschool). That's why I take 5 books each time I go to the library. Sometimes I'm lucky, and every book is great, sometimes only one of them is okay. You've read 100 pages already and don't feel like continuing ? No one cares, close the book !!! Once I've started doing that I felt so much better, no more pressure to quickly finish a book I didn't actually enjoy.

6. NONFICTION Don't read nonfiction at first. Some of you might have attention span issues, some might have anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping making it all impossible to stay focus on a book : don't make it harder on yourself by reading nonfiction, it has to be a pleasurable experience. Reading about water pollution isn't going to put you in the mood to read (or to sleep better for that matter (Trust me, I've tried it)). So please fiction only : fantasy, adventures, dragons, romance, something light !

7. STUPID BOOKS Something light ? Well, the first books I've read were almost exclusively out of the teenagers/young adults section. Listen, I know some of you are not teenagers or (according to google) not even the target audience for the "young adult section" BUT those books are easy to read and some of them are quite enjoyable even for an "older" person. For example, the third book I've read was "L'année de Grace" (The Grace Year) by Kim Liggett and I enjoyed it a lot. Some of the books I've read were not winning literature prize kind of books and some were meant for teenagers and you know what ? I don't care, some were so bad that they made me laugh out loud, sending screenshots of awful dialogues to my friends. I've enjoyed reading them and that's all that matters ! I've read a book called "A connecticut Fashonista in King Arthur's court" by Marianna Mancusi , and let me tell you, it was stupid, so stupid that I couldn't wait to get home to see what else would happen. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I still really loved reading it.

8. THEATER PLAY -> Short / funny / well written, go for it. I've read Corneille, Edmond Rostand, Marivaux, Cocteau. You could finish some of them in an hour !

9. TIME Now, one thing I have to concede is that reading takes time and I'm not a student AND I have a non brain-frying stable job, so I do have some time on my hands. Some of you might not have said time, BUT some of you also spend a lot of time on your phones. I've found myself gravitating toward a book more than my phone once I found good books to read. I used to watch tv-shows and youtube videos a lot, but I've slowed down since I started reading more (it's even starting to become a problem because I'm not hearing my target languages as much as I used to). 10. CONCLUSION SO FAR I still struggle to read non-fiction for more than 5 minutes, and unfortunately the majority of the untouched books in my living room are not cute adventure stories...However, while on holiday, I've read an 800-page novel in 3 days like I used to do while I was a teenager, and it made me feel really happy. 11. FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE : Reading is great BUT some of you are too stressed/anxious/in the middle of your studies, so don't even think of starting this kind of challenge. Relax, go to bed, go walk in the sun, have fun with your friends, take care of yourself. I used to be so angry at myself for not being able to read, but now I realize that I was in a very stressful moment in my life and I think my brain just wanted me to relax. Forcing myself to read 10-25 pages a day was only hurting me in the end. Only when my situation got much better did I even think of starting this challenge. While I don't think I said anything that you guys have heard before, I hope it can still be of some help to some of you !

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

"the kevjean dynamic has me in a chokehold i cant stop thinking about them." SAME and I think its so valid of us there's too little of them out there whether it's romantic or platonic it's actually a crime

"i should reread it again" lmao that's exactly what I'm doing I'm currently halfway through chapter 3 (now 5 now the sequel and I'm done i might reread it again now since its complete). Also lost??? Omg you're so so correct here. "But if only you could see yourself in my eyes you'd see you shine, you shine I know you'd never leave me behind but I am lost this time" you are so so correct here

"these three will be the end of me i swear." THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH WILL BE THE END OF ME I SWEAR

"even the AGES are right." I KNOW HOW DOES IT FIT SO WELL

"my interpretation is VERY self indulgement." Self indulge away I'm here for it

"i associate my tears ricochet with post-baltimore kandrew." Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for it anyway

"FIRMLY believe andrew has had some horrible horrible thoughts about being like every person who's hurt kevin." I AM SO WITH YOU HERE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

"listen those two are practically melded together okay" they rlly rlly are okay I'm in the middle of Andrews pov in tnotg sequel and I'm having feelings

"SOBBING THESE TWO THEY END ME I WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM" hurting each other = hurting themselves

"once again, about kevin running away to the foxes and jean being at the nest" ykw this is such a valid interpretation but I refuse to believe that they didn't at least somewhat repair their relationship post canon okay I need them to be roommates okay

"BUT for extra sad you can remember all the drafts nora wrote where Jean died." BABE LITERALLY WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO REMEMBER THAT I ACTIVELY TRY AND NOT THINK ABOUT THAT I'm so fucking glad we had him joining the trojans instead that's so so much happier I remember the previous drafts and I need to lie the fuck down

"Andrew digging his heels and yet following Kevin and he promises andrew the world and them drags him towards it" YOU GET IT they were fucking attached at the hip

I am now actually incapable of listening to willow without thinking of kandrew the same way I can't listen to liability without thinking of kevin or dorothea without kevneil or two birds without kevjean

YOUVE ADDED THIS IS ME TRYING listen the way this song gets to me "I had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting" Literally him breaking his hand "Could've followed my fears all the way down" KEVIN "I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here" is this not him going from a raven to a fox???? "but I didn't pour the whiskey" the song's also about alcohol addiction this song's now linked to him in my head

Okay I have listened to silence before but with them??? "I found peace in your violence" yes I can see this "Can't show me there's no point in trying" is this not the entire point of their deal??? Kevin constantly trying to get him to try and to give him something to build his life around??? But also in reverse andrew giving him the chance to learn how to play again??? "I'm in need of a savior but I'm not asking for favors" GODDAMN "I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring" andrew core

I'm not ok is so pre-canon kandrew the way I dont even know which lyrics to start quoting first "I can be a handful but that's why you have two hands" lmao accurate I don't even know which one of them that could refer to "I can be a danger, danger for you" I THINK IM JUST GOING TO HAVE TO QUOTE THE WHOLE SONG "Too many issues, so I wouldn't blame you" ITS THEM???

505??? I LOVE 505 "If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive" yk how in tnotg andrew flies to Boston bc kevins team would be there. Sorry I'm never shutting up about this fic ever "I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck or I did last time I checked" I NEED A MOMENT SHIT HOW DID I FORGET THIS LINE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHY WOULD YOU SUGGEST THIS IM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO MOVE PAST THIS OH MY GOD "But I crumble completely when you cry" BABE YOU KNOW THAT ONE BIT IN TNOTG SEQUEL "If Andrew turns his head now, and finds Kevin quietly crying, it'll be the only thing that has ever happened to him." Yeah I'm def rereading this the way I can never stop thinking of it its THE kandriel post canon fic. "It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye" Post graduation vibes everytime they meet they know it won't last long FUCK I'm obsessed with this song with them you've given me crack

I am not a robot okay okay you mention a song by marina and you've got my attention with every lyric I keep flip flopping between who the song is talking about "You've been acting awful tough lately smoking a lot of cigarettes lately" bc this is clearly andrew right but then "you don't always have to be on top better to be hated than loved loved loved for what you're not" which is so kevin??? Lowkey the way raven fans turned on him when he joined the foxes "I'm vulnerable I am not a robot" this could honestly be either of them the way both of them are viewed by the ppl around them

WOLVES WITHOUT TEETH YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS “Open my chest and colour my spine” I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WITH THIS the idea that andrew was doing his best to hold up kevins spine for like months until he could do it himself "I'll be the blood if you'll be the bones" I don't know why but in my mind kevin is clearly the blood while andrew is the bones "hover like a hummingbird haunt me in my sleep" they were fucking attached at the hip obsessed with each other and OKAY SO THE CHORUS you would not believe what i found on genius lyrics "They are not running from the physical thing, but from what the thing represents emotionally. A wolf prostrate and panting is seeking permission for something, it wants it, but needs consent. The “tearing with out teeth” is the emotional pain of the mutual love and attraction they share, but cannot express." I actually can't look at this any other way now wtf was this person on when they wrote this annotation why does it work so well for them my god "how can I keep you inside my lungs" listen I'm sorry to keep bringing up tnotg but also tnotg andrew to kevin

Ghost of you by 5sos kinda reminds me of kandrew but like post baltimore (PLS I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS BEFORE YOU SENT THAT ASK and yes you absolutely should create a kandrew playlist if you want i'll be here for it) yk the whole missing someone who isn't there's anymore "still can't sleep on your side" them not being able to sleep in the same bed bc of a whole host of issues for both of them but also bc kevins gone and moved out "dancing through our house with the ghost of you" he's not there anymore when he's been within arms reach before "when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt" LIKE ITS THEM

Also idk if this is bc I've just started twisting every song I listen to until it relates to aftg but endgame for kandriel??? Like first part is Kandrew the second verse is kevineil and third verse is andriel?? This either works rlly well and I'm correct or I've completely lost my mind (but like "I protect you with my life...reconnected when we were little bit older...i hit you like bang...calling my bluff on all my usual tricks"???)

Have you considered Dollhouse by Melanie bc it lowkey describes the nest/perfect court the idea that the public sees smth that it totally false while shit is going down behind the scene like "everyone thinks that we're perfect please don't let them look through the curtains" "smile for the picture pose with your brother"

LAST WORDS OF A SHOOTING STAR IN ON YOUR PLAYLIST "All of this turbulence wasn’t forecasted" him expecting to stay at the nest for college and then having to leave and all the drama that came after "I am relieved I left my room tidy" HIS ROOM AT THE NEST and when neil was there and it was like all perfectly preserved "they’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts" again the nest?? It has just occurred to me that this could apply to jean as well "my dreams made music in the night" both of them dreaming of being able to get out one day "I was going to live" THEM FINALLY BEING ABLE TO LEAVE "you’d say you love me and look in my eyes but I know through mine you were looking in yours" okay okay but is this not kevin and rikos entire relationship riko looking at kevin but only viewing himself through it bc kevin was just an extension of himself and not his own person

Also Life on your playlist works so well???? "twenty-two and confused" this is like nothing new all over again bc HOW DOES THE AGE FIT "broken miss America" kevin being one of America's sweethearts is like so personal to me. WHICH REMINDS ME Miss America and the Heartbreak prince fits so so well for kandrew I feel like I've definitely seen someone mention it somewhere but I can't for the life of me remember who or where but god does it work I mean "I saw the scoreboard and ran for my life" pls see the vision I need your opinion

Queen of the night also works so well for them you're right EVERY LINE IS SO THEM "I've bandaged your bruises you've held back my hair who'd've known when this started that we'd end up here" pre canon to post canon them growing into ppl who can be good to and for each other "you reach out and touch me, say my name like a prayer" I need to go lie down how dare you suggest this song "all my friends say you're dangerous but I don't fucking care" okay my first thought was pre-canon ppl warning them to stay away from each other bc kevin could potentially bring down the mafia on andrew and Andrews whole stay away I'm dangerous vibe but like the only friends they had pre canon were like jean and renee??? So lol no there was no-one telling them to keep away from each other "This holy redemption tears us in two but I can't turn my back to you" Post baltimore divorce era vibes babe "one hand on the wheel and one hand on my thigh" lmao listen its a cliche but I feel like andrew would enjoy it with like Kevin or Neil in the passenger seat as long as no one is watching them "you're kissing my fingers, and I kiss your tattoo's" HOW DARE YOU RECOMMEND THIS SONG TO ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THIS also I'm a strong believer of multiple tattoos older kevin (his dad has them and there's this one fanart by lucky-slice that's so lovely and you can rip this out of my cold dead hands). "and talk shit forever" lmao domestic kandriel shit talking ppl and gossiping is my jam

This got long I'm slightly concerned it won't send lol

line break for my lovely mutuals <3

lol my answers is just as long and i lowkey wanna post this without a paragraph break and plague people's dash

'there's too little of them out there whether it's romantic or platonic it's actually a crime' RIGHT?? kevjean is soooo scarce so of course we get to make everything about them. their specific dynamic is just so special and i am hooked on it

SAME im currently rereading tnotg this series is my lifeline. dayurno is a genius i owe them my life

' Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for its anyway' I couldnt bear to remove it!! i have so many feeling about this song i had to sit there and process it bear to remove this song not when it so so perfect and i am always in need of more material about the

YES someone agrees with me about my tears ricochet this is so validating. and YEAH the cherry liquor ice cream in the tnotg sequel!! i was never the same. i think of that scene a lot while listening to this song. they are SO- canonically attached at the hip kandrew really will end me huh 'Lmao listen I thought this but then I was like perhaps that's too controversial idk but I'm so glad you went for it anyway' oh there was no way i was skipping THIS SONG i have sooo many feeling about it its essential kandrew divorce era shit

i am DESPERATE for kevin and jean to get something of a happy ending I want them to find peace so badly they will absolutely rebuild post canon this is not up for argument.....but I may or may not read an unhealthy amount of kevjean agnst. but honestly if nora had killed off jean after ALL OF THAT I would've just put the book down right then and there i couldn't that bro i COULDNT

"they were fucking attached at the hip" they were they really were like- knowing each schedule and every little habit THEY ARE BASICALLY MARRIED

YEAH willow is so so perfect i listen to it on repeat i cant help it and i understand you so completely its impossible to separate liability and kevin in my mind now

' "I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here" is this not him going from a raven to a fox??? ' god yes this lyrics is what did it for me. this song is so so so inherently kevin with his stubbron single minded focus. kevin who's never done anything halfway flying or fighting or falling. ' "but I didn't pour the whiskey" the song's also about alcohol addiction this song's now linked to him in my head' YES YES cause it is absolutely criminal how little his alcoholism is addressed in this fandom i NEED more fics where its a main plot point.

' is this not the entire point of their deal??? Kevin constantly trying to get him to try and to give him something to build his life around??? But also in reverse andrew giving him the chance to learn how to play again??? ' akdnfnsjnndj YEAH YOU GET IT ITS SO THEM i cant believe it took me so long to consider this but now. i cannot stop.

'I THINK IM JUST GOING TO HAVE TO QUOTE THE WHOLE SONG "Too many issues, so I wouldn't blame you" ITS THEM ' JUST THE WHOLE SONG I COULDNT BELIEVE IT WASNT WRITTEN FOR THEM

"yk how in tnotg andrew flies to Boston bc kevins team would be there" not andrew Afraid Of Heights minyard getting on a fucking plane to got to an EXY event of all things just cause kevin will be there and- ngl that was may favourite kandrew scene in tnotg its PERFECT I LOVE IT. 505 KILLED ME AND BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE THAT LINE JUST ENDED ME RIGHT THERE HOW IS IT JUST SO- if i have to be stuck on this forever so do you "BABE YOU KNOW THAT ONE BIT IN TNOTG SEQUEL" EXACTLY you get it!! I was actually rereading tnotg when 505 came on and I FROZE it was SO PERFECT. I feel you I'd forgotten that lyric existed but now I listen to it on repeat I cant stop its so so so perfect it might as well be crack

'I keep flip flopping between who the song is talking about' right?? and every other line could be about either of them god they are so complementary but also theyre so much more alike than people realise at first and this song shows that so well. THIS WHOLE SONG IS BASICALLY KANDREW ARGUING BACK AND FORTH DONT YOU SEE "andrew, mockcingly: Who you never really liked and you never trusted But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins", "kevin: Never committing to anything, You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings", "both of them: Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing"

' "I'll be the blood if you'll be the bones" I don't know why but in my mind kevin is clearly the blood while andrew is the bones' I HAD THE SAME THOUGHT!! it just fits so well?? youre right. And no no PLEASE continue mentioning tnotg i actually added this song because of tnotg. remember that one scene where neil thought andrew would slash his chest open for kevin and kevin walk into his chest and never look back?? YEA this exactly. omg omg i hadnt see the analysis of the song "I actually can't look at this any other way now wtf was this person on when they wrote this annotation why does it work so well for them my god" SAME this now lives rent free in my head i cant see it any other way either

'Ghost of you by 5sos kinda reminds me of kandrew but like post baltimore (PLS I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS BEFORE YOU SENT THAT ASK ' THE COINCEDNCE LMAO. no no but youre right and this song is so them like im supposed to hear "and i chase it down with a shot of truth, that my feet dont dance like they did with you" and NOT think of those dramatic fuckers?? when its clearly about them finding their sides feeling too empty?? their schedules out of balance?? their steps ungraceful after each movement was complementary...steps in a dance....give and take....at eqilibrium with each other for years?? how does one walk when the constant comforting weight by their side has been ripped away leaving bruised skin in his wake?? disgracefully that's how.

ENDGAME i hadnt considered BUT YOURE RIGHT I SEE IT. or maybe my brain is the saame and twits everything into being all about these exny idiots...perhaps we'll never know. immediately the kandreil of it all with the "oh and i got big enemies" and these dramatics fucks and their very different reputations. and THEN "you hold me down and i protect you with my life" VERSE ONE COMING IN WITH KANDREW.

i really really like the kevneil portion in endgame sooo much tho ' "I protect you with my life…reconnected when we were little bit older" ' THIS IS SO NEIL SINGING "Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long, And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song" them CONSTANTLY arguing on and off court and kevin being the only one who understands all of neil, who knows the whole story, neil being the only fox who GETS what the nest is like....even BEFORE the nathaneil reveal kevin SEES him he picks him out of hundreds of potential players because he understands, KNOWS his game, his potential ON SIGHT (im confident this would be the case in any universe, kevin constantly finding him).

GOOD GOD THE ANDREIL AT THE END "calling my bluff on all my usual tricks" literally end me now cause they learnt each other so fluently in so little time "And I can't let you go, your hand print's on my soul" THIS LYRIC?? , andrew's hands always firm and decided yet always always kind....how could he go very long without his touch now that he's felt it? now that the memory is cooling balm on his skin on his soul?? "I hit you like bang" neil coming in like a whirlwind becoming essentially so quickly!! (and also andrew hitting him with the raquet in tfc lol)....imma put this song on my kevin playlist..the andreil portion can be like a fun extra in the middle of all the kevin vibes

dollhouse is very interesting i dont listen to melanie much i hadnt considered this.....but damn the vibes are so so much like the nest. kevin having to play the part of #2 of the perferct court...riko's brother...the raven with the perfect life...the media darling. no one really knows what goes on in the nest behind closed doors. no one can ever hear what kevin actually wants to say and that's the thing!! he's been voiceless his whole life....being torn apart in private and then paraded around like a show pony in public. god kevin day has been trapping in plastic wrapping for so long. I NEED THIS SONG IN THE PLAYLIST

LIFE IS SO PERFECT YOU GET IT. tbh the age mentioned is why i started thinking about kevin with this song in mind and now i cant stop. yessssss kevin day the media darling the broken miss america!!! a large part of my playlist is based around this i cant- "SHE WROTE IT ON THE BATHROOM WALL IN HER FAVOURITE SHADE OF LIPSTICK L I F E" there's just something so- kevin about that action. its barely thought through yet desperate yet so so resolute somehow. I CANT EXPLAIN but this song?? it is EXACTLY the emotions/attitude i imagine kevin would have during his healing process especially post baltimore. "Call it a night when the lights in the club dont shine no more" AND THEN "Call it a night when the lights in the studio dont shine no more" i mean come ON

'EVERY LINE IS SO THEM' RIGHT?? literally every part of it is perfect ilisten to this while imagining them on a drive alone to wherever they like aka a date not that andrew would call it that, and andrew gets to watch kevin bask in the sunlight and kevinn gets to watch him unwind and just- the heavy comfort these two can find in each other WHILE being the person one who can fully rile the other up (until neil). ' "you reach out and touch me, say my name like a prayer" I need to go lie down how dare you suggest this song ' HAHA i had the same reaction this song is on par with 505 in terms of utterly destructive lyrics in the context of kandrew.

ngl one of my favourite songs on the kandrew playlist is alone with me by vance joy like i heard the first line and i sold immediately this song is SO THEM YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IT "i saw you smile, i knew you had spirit" ISNT THIS THAT ONE SCENE "so, did you have fun?" "youre despicable kevin day, dont know why i keep you around"?? IM SOBBING THIS IS ABOUT KEVIN BEING PROUD OF ANDREW!! and seeing him actually *try* and show courage and being like "i told you so i told you you could do it, i knew from the beginning all that you are and can be" AND THEN "isnt it odd the way we tell ourselves we've go limits" THIS IS BOTH OF THEM?? GOD THIS SONG

[crazyhickofftheirrocker]

Lads, when Lisa finds out Betsy is responsible for Carla getting hurt in the robbery next week...

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[nomairuins]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[honey-skulls]

Huge vent

Yesterday was the welcome thing for the beginning of the school year, only from 15h to 16h30. Still managed to end up late. Nothing to do either, just sit there and listen to the explanation of how the year is gonna go. Still came back home EXHAUSTED

First day of school and I'm already an hour late

They also said that if we come late, the teachers aren't gonna let us in

So now I'm just frozen, sitting on my chair after finally managing to prepare, with no idea on if i waste the little energy i have going to school in the heat only to not be let in

But they also said they'd do that last year, and they never did. So maybe they're not doing it again and I'm just wasting time when they would let me in

I don't know and that's the problem

And even if i can, the mental image of everyone in class turning to stare at me and judge while i enter in the middle of the class, because i spent more than half of last year being hours late if not straight up missing "for no reason" is too much (because this country has dog shit psychology knowledge that has been studied to be around 50 years late, and they know nothing about invisible disabilities. Not like I'd ever even tell them. This class sucks in all minorities fronts)

But also I'm literally already thousands of euros in debt for this damn school and every class i miss is money wasted

I don't know what to do

[guinevereslancelot]

how is my friend's baby 12 days overdue and didn't come during the massive blizzard we had yesterday