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askbensolo · 3 months ago

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OH yeah it is unauthorized mailbag hour my dudes*

*unwillingly paid for by The Chommell Sector Daily

@mal-is-tall @hey-its-starface Yeah…brandishing a lightsaber (even an unpowered one) at my uncle was not one of my sanest moments. But...uh...look on the bright side...no one got hurt??

Oh, Force no! I’ve been at home. My home, I mean. On Naboo. As shocking as this may be to you, I’ve actually never been involuntarily hospitalized. I mean, they did hold me for a bit after I ran away from home that one time, but—not since then. (Jury's still out on whether this is a good or bad thing—just kidding—maybe)

It...actually doesn't seem like Luke's told anyone what happened. He definitely hasn't told my mom. Because if he had told my mom—well, I would've found out pretty quickly.

I don't know why Luke hasn't told anyone. Maybe he feels bad for me. Maybe he doesn't actually believe I'm a threat (is that better or worse than my mom seeming to fear l am?).

Or, maybe, it's a strategic play. And Luke's just trying to keep this in his back pocket for as long as possible, so he can lay down his sabacc card at just the right moment. That's what Snoke thinks, anyway. Not that I give a womprat's tail what Snoke thinks—but, it's a thought, isn't it?

I did apologize to Luke for...for holding out the saber like that. I know that was pretty uncool of me.

But...l also told him I never want to speak to him again. Which is kind of a shame, because before all of this happened, I was actually getting to the point of maybe wanting to tell him I was having dreams about Snoke—but oh well never mind I guess!!!

@baconbirdie Ha. Yeah. I agree.

Snoke had warned me that the Jedi have a narrow-minded way of looking at things. That, if there was a choice to be made, between me and—and, like, the light side or whatever—that Luke would choose the Force over me. That Fannie would, too, as Luke has instructed her to. And I ignored him, because I figured he was just trying to psych me out, like usual, but…well, I’ll be paying a little more attention in the future.

I’m not saying that that makes Snoke right about everything. But…I think it does make him right about some things. I’m a little more open to hearing to what he has to say, is what I’m saying.

Don’t freak out. I haven’t forgotten what Snoke did to me. I still hate him for that. But, you know what they say. Even a stuck chronometer is right twice a day.

...Yeah. I can't pretend anymore that this isn't happening. Maybe, if I had continued meditating consistently like Luke taught me to do, Snoke wouldn’t have been able to start reaching me again…

...Well, I can't pretend to myself anymore, I mean. But I'll pretend to my family all day!!

You fought in the Clone Wars? Wow, you must be, like—seventy-something years old! Wait, you know how to use the HoloNet??

Sorry that was rude—

Anakin... I don't ever think about Anakin Skywalker much. My mom raised me to see Bail Organa as my grandfather. She hates her birth father, in a way that makes me worry—in my darkest moments—that she might secretly hate me too.

I know a lot about Darth Vader. Darth Vader was my hyperfixation between the ages of twelve to sixteen. But...I know very little about Anakin. Well—nobody knows very much about Anakin. Most of the holorecords on him seem to have been wiped. He almost...doesn't seem real.

...You think he would have been proud of me?

...Well. That'd make someone, I guess.

Uuurgghh I don't wanna go back to therapy! I already did therapy!! I graduated from therapy!!! (Yes I know that's not how that works I'm just kidding)

...I guess you're right, though. I've just...been trying not to think about everything for the past week, and I know that can only get me so far.

And maybe you're right about...about anger. I do struggle with that. I mean, that's no secret or surprise to anyone. I just...feel kinda scared a lot of the time, and…I'd so much rather be mad than scared.

And you're right about not basing your self-worth on others. I may have been avoiding thinking about my problems this past week, but I did decide on one thing—I'm not the freaking problem, Luke is, and someone needs to tell Fannie she doesn't need to let him decide how she wants to live her life. Especially if the way she wants to live her life is with me.

@bookishbrigitta

Auntie Malla? Oh, for kriff's sake! You just want me to look like a total idiot for not having practiced my Shyriiwook in like, seven years—buddy, I'm tellin' ya, she will have my hide—it’s tragic, really; Chewie doesn’t know this, but ever since I left home I’ve been relying more and more on body language and context clues and my dad’s half of the conversation to understand what they’re talking about—it’s so bad—

But...actually? I don't think I've ever flown out to Kashyyyk on my own before. I've been there since I moved out, yeah, for Life Day and stuff—but, always with my family.

And...always with Uncle Luke. But now that I've decided I'm never speaking to Luke ever again…well, who knows where I'll be this Life Day.

...Yeah. Maybe I'll plan a little trip.

…Welp. Time to redownload Duro’lingo and start up my Shyriiwook streak.

#askbensolo #art #written #ben solo #ask blog #snoke #auntie malla #kashyyyk #the chommsec daily #grandvader #star wars #star wars au #artists on tumblr #uncle Chewie #essie #sequel trilogy #star wars sequel trilogy #digital art

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thelampisaflashlight · 4 months ago

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Occasionally, I, like, "forget" I'm mentally ill.

I'll have days where I'm anxious/generally just not doing well in the ol' brain box, and won't be able to place why, and then I remember, "Dude, your brain chemicals are fucky. Take a moment and reassess."

And while having an awareness of the fact that I have a bad brain doesn't stop the physical symptoms of it (you have to kinda gear down from that, ya know, doesn't just go away like magic) it does give me more clarity.

So sometimes I'm just sitting there, trying to do basic shit and shaking.

Like, I will be trembling and struggling to use my phone, because my fingers won't cooperate, and I will be fully aware of the fact that it's because I'm having an anxiety attack, but can't do a damn thing about it, so I'm just there, frustrated at myself.

But also, because I do CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), it's me going, "I know why I'm upset, however, I cannot control this reaction beyond what I'm already doing." and that makes the part of my brain that doesn't like not having control screech.

I go for long periods of time where my stress/anxiety levels are at, like, a 7/10 from the point I wake up until I go to bed at night.

My head's so screwy sometimes that things that are arguably/actually good happening fucks me up.

Part of it is down to genetics/being born this way, and the rest stems from trauma and the side effects of going through a majority of my life without being dinged as anything other than a functional human being.

Did I have my intelligence questioned a lot because my anxious mind needs to ask for clarity/clear instructions on things other people think are obvious?

Yes.

Did not having the resources set forth to help me learn how to deal with this/having people see me as "normal" but stupid make me want to stop asking questions and just beat me down into a person who just went along with whatever or just do nothing at all?

Also yes.

Sometimes, I wish I had had more help growing up, but I also look at the help I did receive and go, "This wasn't helpful or what I needed." or "Why did they let this person be in charge of x or y when they clearly hated it?"

Stuff like that, ya know.

Mostly, I just think if I had known as a kid what was going on inside of my head/had more words to describe how I felt I might have been better set up to tackle the world around me.

But, then again, I could have also wound up exactly where I am now, and I have to wonder if I'd see that as a grander, much more painful fall than the one I took entering into society.

#lamp rambles #actually rambling #I'm okay just so y'all know #just thinking a lot of thoughts

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violetjedisylveon · 4 months ago

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I have fanfics downloaded that I can send to anyone suffering Ao3 withdrawals

It's mostly FnaF security breach stuff, but I got a few Lego Monkie Kid ones

Fanfic selections and instructions below the cut!

I won't be like him by Pinkpony4

Life wasn’t fair and it never had been, especially for Michael. Nothing seemed to ever go right and that lesson was still being hammered down fifty years later. Even so, he’d make life fair for the little baby he had in his arms, even if it killed him.

A Michael afton adopts Gregory fanfic, that is also and fanfic.net but I think the author has deleted it by now to rewrite it since that's why I downloaded it

Nothing Else Compares by Dinjoyer

5 times someone comforted Michael + one time Michael comforted someone

Scooped and Glam Mike fic

Your Dad Is Here by prongsau

Being stuck after hours is scary, especially for a 9 year old who keeps getting chased by a murderous bunny. He ends up getting hurt but an angel comes and saves him. Or; Gregory gets injured from Vanny, thankfully Michael is there to protect him alongside the daycare attendants.

Dadmike hurt and comfort type fic

And What would you say, If I could give you a Reason to go on? By PigeonOnAChair

Michaels story was supposed to end with all of the others, burning to the ground and putting an end to the Afton name for good. Turns out, that might not be in the cards for him. Given a glimpse into the future by a strange, red tinged specter, Michael is given a reason to make it out of that fire; He has a son. And the very same forces that tore Michael apart have set their sights on someone new. -- ( A Dadmike AU in which Mike is given a reason to survive the FNAF 6 fire; to find his son and take down his fathers remaining influence before another Afton falls at his hand.) (TLDR: A Mike in security breach AU, but with a whole lot more before hand !)

Another Dadmike fic/au

Never Enough

Freddy leaves Gregory for one second. One second is all Vanny needs.

Hurt/comfort fic

hush little baby, don't you cry by orphan_account

sometimes, old memories don't stay buried for long Aka angst for my fluffy Human AU. Gregory gets kiddynapped and Freddy, Bonnie, and the band have to face an old companion to save him.

Human animatronics and Fronnie

Dust To Dust by soops

“…The results of this hostility are difficult to see because these children quickly learn how to hide under a compliant smile. When these children grow up they suffer depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and substance-abuse problems. For the first time in their lives, many boundary-injured individuals realize they have a problem…” His head snaps up when he hears a knock on the door. Hesitantly, he stops the tape and puts his pen aside…

Michael adopts Gregory, but it's mostly him dealing with the effect of his father's crimes

Unhappiest Day by EmeraldArt

Early in the morning of his 30th birthday, Cassidy Afton learns two things. His father, William Afton, has escaped jail. And his nephew, Gregory, has gone missing.

Part of an everybody lives/nobody does au(except Susie's dog)

Jeremy's Journey to Save Christmas! (and also survive)

When Jeremy ends up trapped inside the pizzeria with his coworker on Christmas morning, he does what he can to continue his and his sister's Christmas tradition . . . but why does this attract an unexpected guest? (this work is part 5 of a storyline of connected one-shots that are not in chronological order. It can be read as a standalone fic as well).

It's got jeremike

Hippo-Critter by EmeraldArt

Right before the amalgam known Ennard leaves Michael Afton, he gets one final chance to talk to his sister. Elizabeth is terrified that her brother will hate her.

hurt/comfort, mostly hurt

(Im)Perfect by EmeraldArt

Elizabeth is perfect, unbroken, quiet, elegant. She’s everything her father could desire. She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t react, doesn’t growl, doesn’t cry. (Until she finds herself screaming until she isn’t sure she has any screams left.)

Elizabeth angst

Michael Afton's Step by Step Guide to Killing Your Abusive Dad and Getting a Boyfriend in the Same Night by gummysharksupremacy

After his six year old brother miraculously survives the bite that almost took his life, Michael waits for his father to come back from his drinking binge to give him the lecture of a lifetime. What he gets instead is a murder confession, threats of physical violence against himself and his siblings, and promises to take more innocent lives. Michael knows what he has to do. He also knows that he can't do it alone.

This one is dark

the opening day by auacademia

There were four, then three, then two, then none. All of the kids left the room, and she felt herself disconnecting. That has happened a few times over the day, a system meant to save her power if there was no one to entertain. And then there were two. A boy, older, and a girl, younger. It made sense. The children usually played in groups of two or three. Still, she felt like this was supposed to play out differently. She powered back on, and continued her performance. Or, when Michael realizes there’s no stopping his sister from seeing her favorite animatronic, he decides to take her there by himself. William almost has a heart attack.

A Change in Fate: A Five Nights at Freddy's alternate universe by TheInsaneFoxWriter

I have parts 1-9

This is the summary for A Change in Fate, the first and a multiple chapter fic

When Gregory is discovered by prying eyes, in an attempt to escape, he hides in Funtime Freddy - the most friendly-looking of the animatronics around him. Gregory never would have expected this hiding place to turn against him. Trapped within this homicidal children's attraction, he must choose his fate, now in the hands of Freddy and his own survival skills. If he can escape, what else awaits him in this new, darkened environment? Basically, this is a combination of Security Breach and Sister Location, with a hint of Count the Ways. It's way more on the Sister Location side of things, but the comparison of a child being in Glamrock Freddy and Funtime Freddy was too good to pass up. It gave me a random idea, and thus, this fic was created.

Sins of the Father; Grief of the Sons by BeneathAScorpionSky

Evan Afton doesn't succumb to what should have been a fatal injury to his skull, instead miraculously improving and going on to grow up, lose touch with his family, and live what could be called a normal life if you turned it on its side and squinted really hard. Evan's content with being distanced from his relatives and their sordid histories, or at least he's managed to convince himself that he's better off without the father and brother who both up and left him without a word. But he's dragged back into the family business when he meets Gregory, a young homeless boy. Evan realizes he is going to have to take drastic measures to keep his young friend safe from the looming threat of the Pizzaplex killer. He'll have to face old fears and attempt to mend festering wounds if he hopes to get Gregory and himself out safely on the other side of this nightmare.

Aka, Crying Child adopts Gregory!

I am his dad, just like the sky is blue and the grass is green by AngstRat

One day Freddy stumbles across a small scared boy, neither of them know that moment will change both of their lives for the better.

The boy and his animatronic dad by AngstRat

Gregory is cold and he knows it's just about to get worse, so he sneaks into the Pizzaplex for warmth and maybe some food. Who could've guessed he'll find a dad on the way.

Sun and Moon adopt Gregory this time

love lost and found again by mikeyskies

When a rotting transgender corpse and a half brain-dead man love each other very much... Basically Jeremy and Michael assumed they wouldn't have to worry about protection after Michael got scooped. They were wrong.

Lego Monkie Kid fics

Warm Hearts, Cold Hands by Drifting_Andromeda

But no, it wasn’t scary in a way that had Spindrax worrying about an injury or a yelling session. She was more nervous of the act of letting Mei down, scared to see disappointment dance in the dragon’s eyes, scared to see that look aimed towards her. She didn’t want to disappoint her, was this how all friendships were? Mei was giving her a headache. ~ After everything Mei has done, from pushing to be her friend, to taking a genuine interest in her work and hobbies, Spindrax isn’t sure what to make of her. At first anyway, now things are starting to get a little complicated.

Spindrax x Mei

Would You Like An Egg In These Trying Times? by TeaTime_At_4

in which stone monkeys can reproduce asexually and create stone eggs when certain conditions are met, and these conditions are unknowingly met while Wukong is imprisoned under five phases mountain. Now without those conditions Wukong remains pregnant with a stone egg throughout his journey west as the egg continues to develop at a leisurely pace. so leisurely in fact that he is still pregnant at the time of the canon events of the show, how does this change things? come find out.

Performing Monkey by othersin

Performing Monkey Au. The Jade Emperor and his court is fascinated with the new life and magic that began to fill the mortal world – even creating a menagerie of the fascinating life so he can enjoy in the comfort of his heavenly plain. The rarest and most prized in his collection was the monkey demon born from stone – granted the name of Sun Wukong. While Guanyin believes that the demon would be happier in the mortal plain, the emperor is reluctant to give up his rare pet however. To calm the goddesses concerns on the others happiness, he instructs his patrols to search for a suitable companion for the monkey demon – his patrols rescue a struggling dark-furred macaque demon. Problem solved! Though Wukong and the newly kidnapped wild demon would disagree…

The Sun's Spouse by Leviathan_Wizard

“What…is this?” “The solution.” “And how is another one of his kind going to help us?!” “Because this will prove beneficial for Sun Wukong.” “Oh?” “The Six-Eared Macaque can…entice Sun Wukong to a more palatable degree.” Or To appease the rampaging Sun Wukong, the heavenly court decides to give the great sage a present…in the form of a husband. Macaque is not amused

And that's it!

See something you like? DM me the name of the fic you want and I will tell you further instructions there.

Spammers will be blocked

If you send a request past 1 am, it won't be filled until probably after 5 tomorrow, I have college and need sleep

Please give kudos to the fics once Ao3 is back up!

I also have fics of my own, some Star wars, Lego Monkie Kid, FnaF, The Owl House, and Pokémon, I don't have them downloaded so they'd have to be sent chapter by chapter, they're all in google docs it's mostly gay stuff, hurt/comfort and queer people having children chucked at them

#I have fics #And can send them to you #ao3 #ao3 down #ao3 maintenance #fanfics #ao3 fanfic #I am a tiny Ao3 library #Except instead of returning the fics you give kudos #fnaf ao3 #Lmk Ao3

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halfetirosie · 7 months ago

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°˖❀ Gather around, children! Time to talk about Responsible Drug Use and Consent! ❀˖°

(Elysium 06-07 React-os!)

1) Eiden over here getting his line of thinking corrupted by Kuya 😂

Idk if "boring" is the right term, but yeah, that sort of thing doesn't really fit his style.

Although, if asked directly I wouldn't put it past Kuya to claim it's "too boring," but I don't think that's his actual reason. I suspect that there really are some lines he won't cross, even if he won't admit it.... But hey, who knows!

2) Always remember: if something seems too good to be true, it probably is! There's always a catch!

Good on you, Olivine! Good job on not being naiive!

I think this section may be hinting at my theory about "freebies?" As in, Elysium gets you hooked by saying you only have to pay a fee to get into the club but they give the drug away for free, but then once you're addicted you have to pay for each individual pill too? Or something like that? 🤔

That's how they get you. They provide it for free/reduced prices until you develop dependence, then you have to start paying more; by the time you realize you're addicted, it's too late!

Addiction is scary, ya'll.

3) Eiden, what the hell???

It wasn't that long ago that you said the way this drug is being distributed wasn't Kuya's style! What happened???

Come on, bro. Sometime I really hate Kuya, but give hime a little benefit of the doubt! Damn...

4) YOOOO WTF?!?!?!?!?!

( ⊙ ᗣ ⊙ )

This is so scary and sad... These people are so obsessed with this drug, they'll act like literal starving animals just get it.... And in HELLA unsafe ways.

THIS IS A ONE-WAY TICKET TO OVERDOSING!!!!!!

I AM SO FUCKIN MAD!!! I ALREADY KNEW THIS CLUB WAS EVIL, BUT THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF IRRESPONSIBLE. FUCK!!!!!

Kids, whenever taking drugs (recreational or otherwise), ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS follow the dosage instructions...

5) Yeah, this is a fairly apt description of the Vampire Bitch...

Although, I think calling him "somewhat sickly" is a HUGE understatement. Look at how fucked up and weird his fingertips are! And the GRAY skin!!!! He's "youthful" but also three steps away from death, dude....Hence, I have declared him Vampire Bitch.

But seeing how Eiden considers him "youthful," does that mean Reverie actually does make people live forever? Or at least slow down the aging process or something? 🤔 Very confused on how all that works...

6) I WILL END YOU, VAMPIRE BITCH!!!! GET YOUR NASTY FUCKING EYES OFF OF OLIVINE!!!!!

🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥

I still cannot believe Vampire Bitch has the AUDACITY to try pimping Olivine out. 🤬🤬🤬

Olivine has a helluva lot of admirers, but story-wise, I think this is the first time an actual FUCKING CREEP targeted him specifically, you know? In a criminal/non-consensual way. Unless there's something like that in intimacy rooms that I don't know about?

Idk if Olivine has just been lucky, or if others are too scared of his strength to target him like this, or what....

Well, this whole situation just makes me SICK....

7) HELL YEAH, FOXY GRANDPA TO THE RESCUE!!!!

Did I already know the devs would make Kuya show up to save Eiden? Yes.

Am I still VISCERALLY RELIEVED? ABSOLUTELY.

8) The heroic return of the Super-Super-Rare

★ Responsible Kuya ★ !!!!!!!

SEE???? EVEN THE FOXY BASTARD KNOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSENT!!!!

Dude, you KNOW something is FUCKED UP with you if KUYA is more decent in comparison...

Real talk, It's honestly REFRESHING AS FUCK seeing Kuya act like this.

Like, yeah, he can be a real asshole and a menace sometimes, but that's typically on a very small scale; making jokes in bad taste or messing with people one-on-one.

It seems that, when it comes to larger-scale issues---in this case, the operation of a club and distribution of drugs---he might still have a bad attitude, but he's at least reasonable. Just like in Forest Carnival; they were holding a party to help improve human/yokai relations, and though Kuya did act like a dick, he didn't sabotage things.

Current Kuya is a menace, but he really isn't a danger to the public; not like Past Kuya, who had no issues raising absolute HELL in Saia.

9) Signing off on a confusing not, here---

Is "don't actually fall asleep" in reference to how Kuya wants Eiden to act after swallowing the [fake] pill???? Like, I assume it's a fake pill since the text after this says that the drug doesn't have an effect on Eiden---so is Kuya hinting for Eiden to pretend like he's high, but to not literally pretend to fall asleep? Or is this a hint for something else?

....Or am I just an idiot? Tune in next time to find out!

🦋 End of report! 🦋

#nu carnival #nu: carnival #nu carnival kuya #nu carnival eiden #nu carnival olivine #nu carnival event reactions

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ninjadeathblade · 1 year ago

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Moulin Rouge Discotrain AU (part two)

Summary: (Post-game canon) The Conductor and DJ Grooves agree to finally work on a movie together. They come up with 'Moulin Rouge', a musical drama filled with romance. Over time the two directors grow closer and discover that maybe they don't hate each other as much.

Previous | Next

Word count: 858 (still not that long but I promise later chapters will be)

Warnings: None

Author's notes: Back again with part two! I snuck a quote in this one. Only one more chapter until Hat kid and her Mysterious Friend make their appearances! But yeah, I hope you enjoy part two for now!

"And then Satine and Christian gaze lovingly at each other-"

"Oh shut up! That's the tenth pecking time you've said 'gaze lovingly' this conversation!" Conductor interrupted, talking over Grooves.

The two of them had agreed to call each other about ideas for and progress on the film. But it was beginning to get on the Conductor's nerves as to how often the penguin would phone him and suggest some more romance.

"Ooh, what if we had a song that basically spoils the entire movie but only if you're paying loads of attention?" Grooves suggested.

"How so?"

"Well, we said there was going to be a play in the film. And what if the play had the same plot as the film?" Grooves explained.

"That might work," Conductor said, drumming his fingers on the desktop. "I got in touch with the lass the other day and she said she might be able to find us someone to play Zidler. What about you, eh? Find anyone yet?"

"I'm still convincing Owlice to give it a shot. Pinguini says he's on board. I also got in touch with the little girl and apparently she and one of her friends are gonna pop by the studio tomorrow," Grooves explained.

Conductor looked up as the door to his office opened, an owl sticking their head in.

"The last of us are heading home sir. Will you be as well?" They said.

Conductor moved the phone away from his face, looking down at the stacks of drafted scenes on his desk.

"You go home. I'll lock up later. Get some rest before tomorrow," Conductor instructed before holding the phone closer to him again. "Alright then, we'll see who the lass brings along tomorrow."

"Darling, are you still in the studio?" Grooves asked gently.

Conductor let out a huff of air, skimming through the stack of papers.

"It doesn't matter. It's my movie so I can work on it as much as I pecking want," Conductor swore, squinting distastefully at a drafted scene.

"I cannae believe I let you put so many songs in here. Or that I let you make it centered around love."

"Darling, I don't understand your problem with love! Love is a many, splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love," Grooves protested.

"Please, don't start that again," Conductor complained.

"Fine darling but I'm coming to the studio and I'm bringing coffee. You'll fall asleep at your desk and we should be working on it together. That's the whole point of making a movie together," Grooves pointed out.

Conductor let out a sigh, knowing it would be useless to argue with him.

"Alright. But don't you dare put sugar in me coffee again."

It didn't take long for the other director to arrive, carrying a couple takeaway cups of coffee.

The Conductor had moved to wait in the reception, shutting off most of the unnecessary power in the studio. It didn't matter if most of that was on the penguins' side.

"Finally! I was startin' ta wonder what took you so long," Conductor said as Grooves opened the door.

The penguin laughed, the sound echoing in the near empty room.

"Well darling, not all of us live in the studio or one of our most used sets," Grooves teased and Conductor scowled at him, grabbing one of the cups of coffee.

"My train is my life! At least I'm not obsessed with disco," he argued before downing most of his coffee. "Well at least yer remembered no sugar this time."

"Darling I always remember you don't like sugar in your coffee. But it's hilarious to see the face you make when you realise your coffee has sugar," Grooves explained with a chuckle. Conductor scowled up at him before beginning to walk to his office.

"I'll make sure ta leave the sugar outta your coffee," Conductor grumbled under his breath. "With yer stupidly tall shoes, 'n' your sunglasses, 'n' your disco movies."

"What was that darling?"

"Nothin'." The Conductor opened the door to his office, immediately moving to scan the notes he'd made on his desk. "We've got so many roles left to cast. Plus we need to organise the choreography for the big dance numbers. Like in Satine's first entrance."

He drank the rest of his coffee before sitting down at his desk.

"Yeah, about that, where are we going to get a trapeze from?" Grooves asked, sitting down across from the Conductor.

"We're directors. We'll buy one."

"Oh, good point."

"As I was sayin', Satine's entrance will need some expert choreography and we need the entire costume department to get fitting the extras with suits and dresses," Conductor continued. "We'll need a big set but I think one of the rooms on the Express will do nicely."

"You do know I've never been on your train before, right darling?" Grooves pointed out.

"Ah. Well. Once we sort out the main cast, then we can figure out what things we're filming in my train." Conductor shrugged. "We need to find two good singers who are fine with playing lovers. It cannae be that hard."

#ahit #a hat in time #a hat in time au #ahit au #ahit conductor #ahit dj grooves #dj grooves #discotrain #the conductor #discotrain moulin rouge au #discotrain au #ahit moulin rouge au #a hat in time moulin rouge au #a hat in time conductor #a hat in time the conductor #conductor

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chaoticjoke · 7 months ago

Note

How does your muse answer their phone? Do they get nervous or panic if they hear it ring? Do they answer it immediately or let it ring out? How do they greet the person on the other end?

If they hear a song they like what do they do? Do they tap their foot? Quietly dance? Nod their head? Etc.

Which of their five senses are the strongest? For example, are they usually the first person to smell something rotten? Are they the first person to see something across the street? Etc.

What little superstitions do they carry out?

How do they talk to small kids? Is their tone demeaning? Do they go down to their level? Do they feel at ease?

II Minor Details About The Muse– Ask Meme // ACCEPTING

How does your muse answer their phone? Do they get nervous or panic if they hear it ring? Do they answer it immediately or let it ring out? How do they greet the person on the other end?

With a simple "What?". The Joker probably never gets nervous about anything, but he does get annoyed when his burner phone rings, especially if it's a call from Harley (meaning 'irrelevant') or one of his henchmen giving him information or asking him for further instructions. He doesn't miss phone calls and picks up immediately, but he's usually brief and hangs up fast. However, if he calls and it's a part of his brilliant and chaotic plan, that's where he gets creative...

If they hear a song they like what do they do? Do they tap their foot? Quietly dance? Nod their head? Etc.

answered here

Which of their five senses are the strongest? For example, are they usually the first person to smell something rotten? Are they the first person to see something across the street? Etc.

The sixth sense. His intuition. The way he can see and read people. Like an open book. See them for who they really are and figure out their weaknesses so he can easily manipulate them and even completely damage or break them just for the heck of it. Needless to say, that his other senses are perfect as well.

What little superstitions do they carry out?

If you're good at something, never do it for free. (S)laughter is the best medicine. A laughter a day keeps a doctor away. Can't rely on anyone these days, you gotta do everything yourself. Whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you stranger.

How do they talk to small kids? Is their tone demeaning? Do they go down to their level? Do they feel at ease?

The Joker hates small kids. So he doesn't really talk to them, except maybe in hostage situations, when he wants to make a show in front of his audience, he might approach a kid or try to take it away from a terrified parent to further rattle their nerves or settle even more panic. Or he would give a kid a gun saying it was a toy and ask him to fire it in the crowd or something equally terrifying. If he does happen to have a conversation with a child, his tone will be mocking and sarcastic, of course.

#asks #freakarus #┇𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍┇#[ ty for these <3 ]

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briarpatch-kids · 2 years ago

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I’ve seen a lot of your posts about Tay and was wondering how you became one of his online carers, like how you met his parents and him? I guess I’m just curious about what it means to be ‘friends’ with him in the sense that it’s not an equal relationship. I guess I’m not sure how you bond with someone in that scenario, or maybe that isn’t the point? Sorry if this isn’t phrased well, English is my second language. thank you

So first off, Tay's been getting some weird sexual asks again lately, so I'm going to be vague so I don't give a predator instructions on how to groom him. This isn't saying you're a predator, just that I don't want to tell people how to get close to someone vulnerable when stalkers are potentially watching.

Basically I started following his blog a long time ago because he had opinions on autism I hadn't heard before and saw people kept trying to parent him and lecture him in the comments when like... that's not their job. So I started commenting things when he'd fight with his sister about how I argued with my siblings when i was his age too, and it really sucked and it was okay to be upset. You know, normal stuff you tell a 14-15 year old when they hate the world and their parents and anyone who looks at them the wrong way because being 15 is the worst. Eventually he followed my blog and I had to get my shit together ASAP because "oh shit a kid is looking up to me. I better be worth looking up to" (Tay literally made me a better person this way)

That time period was uncomfortable for me for a while because he would have emergencies and I couldn't do anything about it because I had no way of contacting his family and I also didn't want him to think it was safe to DM adults on Tumblr because there are a LOT of creeps online. Eventually his mom messaged me to say that she needed help and Tay said I was his best friend, I seemed like i was a good responsible adult, and could she have my email so we can discuss this further? I told her about my physical limitations and that I might need to step back if I can't handle it, but that I'm already online frequently because of them so I'd be happy to help her when I can. (And how it was a huge relief to be able to contact someone when he asked or needed me to) We email and update each other on our lives and I consider her a friend of mine, at the very least a fond penpal. We have very different lives, she's an educated and very dedicated housewife with two autistic kids and I'm a transgender crippled college dropout who contemplates stealing feral ducks from the local pond, but at the core we want the same things and get along really well because of it.

My role with helping Tay is answering more complicated questions in a way that doesn't get him doxxed or hurt, telling his mom when he needs help, and just kind of being there when he needs a friend. What I get out of the relationship is the same things I get out of my other friendships, I get to watch him grow into an amazing person and be there along the way.

When we chat, I always make sure to give him the Tay safe version of things, but if he knows I'm having a bad day he'll try to help me feel better and it's really sweet. The other day, I forgot to hide some petty internet drama from him, so he told me that they were a bad person for making me upset and I shouldn't listen to them. (Which helped get me out of the drama loop yay!) So, while I have to take a lot of care and thought to making sure he's supported and safe and gets the version of events that are appropriate for him, it's not a one sided friendship where I'm only hanging out with him because I have to or something. We were friends before I was a helper because I think he's a good friend.

He's a cool guy who likes to hunt for mushrooms in his yard and hear about nature and how stuff like spinning wool works. I end up taking a lot of photos of stuff throughout the week to show him because he loves hearing about flowers at the farmers market or how I saw a cat in a baby carriage at the pond.

#tay dont look

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thebrownssociety · 2 years ago

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For Pepé Le Pew, Wile E. Coyote, and Roadrunner, please

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

34. How they react when they are feeling angry

37. What they really think about themselves

2: A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

Wile.E - Despite being a Toon he's not massively keen on kids. It's because they're quite spontaneous and Wile.E finds that stressful to deal with. There's a reason he teaches at university/college level.

He's very good with his own son, I should point out. Calamity. And he's very good with his nephew Lil Beaper. He understands the pair of them well and it helps that they're both very intelligent. Also it helps that Calamity lives with him and Lil Beaper sees him practically every few days, so they're very used to him.

Since having Calamity he's read a lot of parenting books and tries to follow their instructions. Obviously that doesn't always work though, which inevitably gets Wile.E frustrated. Over the years though - and with help, support and guidance from Roadie, Scratchansniff and the rest of the LT's - he's gotten more confident. Also helps that Toons in general have a culture that's very much 'it takes a village to raise a child' mentality.

Pepe - He's a coffee drinker, not a tea drinker. He HATES tea with a passion and, if he has to drink it to be polite, will either find a plant to subtlety throw it into or let it go cold, then say it's 'undrinkable' and throw it away.

With the invention of Microwaves that's scuppered his plans a bit, as the host will sometimes say. 'Would you like me to heat it up for you?'

So Pepe has to go. "Oh...non. It'z fine. I'll do it." And then he's got to find a way to accidently-on-purpose throw it away. The other LT's know he doesn't drink tea though, so it's only some of the Disney Tunes that try to serve it him.

Roadrunner - He's really good with kids. All kids. They love him and like to follow him round and ride on his back. [This is for kids under 5, I should point out.] Baby's reach out for him, toddlers try and hug him [and sometimes pluck him, depending on how motor-controlled they are] and he's got a long line of kids that he babysits. It's a good way to make money when not filming.

As you might imagine he's really good with his own kid - Lil Beaper - and his nephew [Calamity.] Although as they've got older they now think he's embarrassing and try to distance themselves from him. [Watching your dad/uncle give random kids piggy-backs is embarrassing once you hit 13, apparently.]

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

Wile.E - He's convinced he isn't really clever. Sure he can speak multiple languages, invent things that most others wouldn't even consider to be possible and is actually a teacher, but there's always other people better than him. He's really hard on himself and covers it up with a smug exterior. It cracks occasionally - especially in moments of high stress - but he pulls himself back together easily and most Toons just think it's a strange glitch. He tries to push it down because if he thinks about it to much he gets depressed and anxious.

Pepe - He wishes he fought in the war. He's seen the effects it's had on the other toons and feels a bit useless because he can never properly understand what they went through and so when they freak out or have a severe flashback or something, he has no idea what to do. Obviously he's not going to voice this because he knows it sounds insane.

Roadrunner - He's actually really open with himself and doesn't really have secrets. The main thing he's worried about that he won't voice is that Wile.E will die via blowing himself up or something. It's hard for most toons to discuss death because - they're toons, they're not going to die. Not that there's any evidence that they don't just have long life spans...ok that's enough thoughts for now. Let's go for a run. [He runs a lot to take his mind of his dark thoughts]

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Wile.E - He sees Scratchansniff about his anxiety and feelings of being inferior. They've made progress actually and Wile.E has a couple of strategies now for dealing with this. Writing down his feelings and keeping a log of inventions that have worked and haven't to refer back to and why. Contrary to what is shown on screen most of his inventions DO work.

Pepe - He sees Scratchansniff about his feelings regarding his stink and his being dropped from the show. He's developed depression over the years and has been issued Toon Medication for him to help fight it.

Roadrunner - Roadie doesn't really see a therapist. If anything he's someone that over people end up confiding in because he's sometimes seen as not being very intelligent because he doesn't really talk. So other toons that aren't the Looney Tunes sometimes just rant at him or want to talk to him about something. He kinda falls into those situations though. He runs through Toon World and has met nearly every Toon in the world, if only briefly.

He does sometimes wonder if he should see Scratchansniff about his fear of Wile.E dying, but always talks himself out of it.

34. How they react when they are feeling angry

Wile.E - He'll go away and plan inventions to kill them with. He's got a notepad that he calls his 'Murder-Pad' [Please change the name Wile.E, Roadie says. He doesn't.] filled with ideas that he will never actually make a reality, but he likes to look at them and remind himself that he COULD make them if he wanted to. He's also a ranter and will find someone he trusts [usually Roadie. Sometimes Sylvester or Speedy if Roadie's not about.] and rant at them for ages.

Pepe - He'll either deliberately activate his stink so whatever's annoying him goes away or he'll remove himself from the room to calm down. He likes time to himself to calm down - other people being around just aggravates him further normally. [Penelope is a bit of an exception but even she leaves him alone if he's REALLY angry] Thing about Pepe though is he's quite calm and hard to annoy, so if he IS annoyed something major has occurred.

Roadrunner - Goes for a run. Literally outrunning his problems. He doesn't really yell or shout, but will occasionally burst into a rhyme-rant [literally rants in rhyme]. Occasionally if he's in the rare position of wanting to get someone away from himself or someone he cares about he will kick out with one of his legs and that tends to ward them off.

37. . What they really think about themselves

Wile.E - See 16.

Pepe - He thinks he's an outdated Toon who clinging onto the success of the Looney Tunes as a whole rather than him individually. He's also thinks other Toons won't see past his stink and it's part of the reason why he doesn't really socialise out of the Warner Brothers circle.

Roadrunner - He does wonder if he's trying hard enough to be sociable and friendly with toons other than Wile.E. He thinks he's a little bit shyer than other Toons would say he is. He also thinks he's not a good enough brother to Wile.E [they were created on the same date, so technically considered 'twins' by Toon standards] despite the fact that he often goes up and beyond to help Wile.E out and the coyote himself has said that Road Runner is the best brother he could ever ask for.

#Looney Tunes Asks #Wile.E Headcanons #Pepe Le Pew Headcanons #Roadrunner Headcanons #Toons Headcanons #Wile.E #Pepe Le Pew #Roadrunner #Deep thoughts #They all have issues

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cathwritestragediesnotsins · 2 years ago

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Hi! I don’t know if ships are still open, and feel free to ignore this of they’re not, but if they are I’d like one please

I’m an INFP as well as adhd. I have a bad case of anxiety and a mild case of depression. I’m a loud introvert (I’m introverted in nature but once I get talking I ramble and can get very loud. I have poor volume control). I hate social situations and tend to make myself sick due to the anxiety of them. I do get very excited about my hyperfixations and I do this thing where I feel nothing or everything, no inbetween.

As for hobbies, I ADORE reading and writing. It’s what I spend most of my time doing. I also help coach a soccer team (I work with the goalies in particular). I also dance, draw and play piano

As for a physical description, I’m 5’3 ish, pale and have freckles over my cheeks and nose with beauty marks scattered across my arms. My hair is naturally blonde and rather fine, but I like to dye it on a semi regular basis. It’s also short and I tend to cut it impulsively. I have green eyes and glasses, and I’m rather petite

And lastly, my pronouns are they/them and I have a male preference

Hi! Thank you so much for requesting! I AM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE I HOPE THIS IS OK

I SHIP YOU WITH: MIRIO TOGATA

No because I honestly think Mirio would be so good with you! His personality goes great with yours both in public and in private.

He doesn’t mind that you’re more introverted, his best friend happens to be the introvert to rule all introverts so he certainly is well versed in when is ok to push you a little to be more social and when to let you have your space.

When you guys are alone or with a group of close friends he loves to see how loud and outgoing you can be when you are with the people you trust!

We all know Mirio is good at dealing with anxiety as well. I think often he serves as a rock or a safe place for you. Like, it’s harder to imagine bad things happening when he’s around because he’s so…Mirio. He’s strong and dependable and sweet. He never fails to make you feel better when you are anxious. Sometimes it takes awhile before he’s able to get you out of your head but he will stay by your side through the process. He’s there to cuddle you through panic attacks and hold your hair/rub your back as you get sick. He is not going anywhere unless you ask him to.

If you asked him to help you dye your hair he would be so enthusiastic about it! He watches videos and reads the instructions on the box like 5 different times to make sure he’s going to do it right. It might be a little sloppy the first time but give him another chance or two and eventually he’ll get really good at it!

Mirio loves to see you interact with the kids on the team you coach (I’m assuming it’s a kids team but idk) and finds it so endearing how much they all love you. Sometimes he’ll come to the practices with you to watch and the entire team gets lowkey distracted by him lmao

As for the rest of your hobbies Mirio loves to encourage you in those as well, even if he’s not always quite sure how to go about it. When you’re reading a book he’ll ask you to read it out loud to him even if you’re half way through. When you’re drawing he is more than willing to be a model for you if there are any parts of the human anatomy you just can’t seem to get right. And I’m sure he has like a thousand videos on his phone if you playing piano! He’s always talking about how talented you are to anyone who will listen

He just thinks you’re the coolest and he’s so proud of you.

#posts by cath #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mirio togata #Mirio x reader #ships by Cath #Cath does ships #Cath’s 1k celebration #lemillion #togata mirio

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anewdawnwithoutfear · 7 days ago

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Originally Posted: 29 December, 2024

Visibility: Everyone

Tutelary stares at her hands, “I don’t think I exist…”

“You do.” The Professor’s voice invites no protest.

“Okay…I don’t think I can shore us up, I’ve been trying for months and I–”

“Then we will do something else,” he gingerly lifts its phone out of its hands. “I have something for you to do.” As he says this, he flicks through the very short list of contacts to the only name without any notes.

It looks over at him with curiosity, but asks nothing.

“You did say she would listen to you, correct?”

They nod without thinking, “Yes, but–”

“You want to help me, yes?”

“Of course I do, Professor.”

“I think it’ll help you, too. The less you have to rely on unreliable entities, the better.”

It takes more effort than she thinks it should not to laugh dismissively at him. She knows he’s just been operating on outdated instructions, that’s not his fault at all.

“Are you ready?”

Xe nods a bit stiffly.

After a full second, he dials the contact on speaker phone. It takes 3 rings before the person on the other end answers.

“Daina?” Nina sounds a little concerned, but she doesn’t press, letting her old friend lead.

“Hi, Nina, I–” it swallows, “How are you feeling, first?”

“Hm? Well, I’ve had long enough to process, I can tell you if I need a break. What is it?”

Dain rubs his nails and looks at his partner. He knows this is just metaphorically pulling out the forks, one by one, but he feels lost. The Professor gives an encouraging smile. “If you’re okay, I can tell you…where I…am now…”

“You don’t sound ready.’”

“I am. Stop with the kid gloves, Newport.” Suddenly, its voice is cold and sharp.

Nina laughs a bit, “There you are, huh? Well, tell me, then.”

“I’m…it’s…my partner…” zie is stumbling before in one very rapid, very loud stream, “He used to have a seat, Seven’s, you know…”

The phone is silent for a half minute.

Daina speaks again, slower this time, “I understand if you hate me, I–”

“Daina?” Nina’s voice is flat but it’s still warm at the edges, “Can I meet Rene under these pretenses, then?”

“Um…I think he’d like that…if you promise to be nice to him.”

“I will be as civil as I ever have, my fount.” Daina flinches at the old nickname but says nothing. “If he had something that valuable to say, I want to hear it. You’re not so naive as to fall for the first conman to try. I want to know what you know. I can’t promise anything to you, I know how much those things mean to you.”

Daina’s spine twitches and she yelps, “Ah, sorry. When do you think you can get here? Or, well, to Moshis? It’s in Zion, Illinois.”

“6 hours, traffic willing. I’m glad you’re at least socializing.”

“Can you come soon? Maybe we can make it our New Year’s?” Humes voice isn’t terribly convincing, but Nina plays along.

“Of course. I will start travelling in 10 to 15 minutes, okay? It might be closed by the time I get there, according to directions. I assume you’re making a trip, as well.”

“Yes. I’m going to tell him. Please go in understanding we didn’t mean to fall in love, but I really am happy with him.”

After a fee moments, “I know. I trust your judgment, so I have to try to listen to his. Be safe, Daina.” Nina hangs up before Daina can reply.

The Professor steps forward, toward his partner, and wraps his arms around them, still careful to avoid causing pain. “One step at a time, my love. It’s going to be well.”

His partner has to bite the inside of hir cheek to keep from snapping unfairly again, “Can it be normal again, sir?”

He strokes the back of her head, “Shh, it can’t be the old normal, but we can build a new normal just as we will build a new future. Think of it as practice.”

They nod, pulling him tight against their face, “Promise?”

“I do.”

#everybody's a hero a lover a fool a villain #professor #nina

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pom-seedss · 2 years ago

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When I was in school and being instructed how to make my first “professional” email address in class, one of the key pieces of advice they gave us is “if your name is already taken, try adding your birth day or year to the end.”

And while my school experience is not universal, I can imagine a lot of other folks born in 1988 were given the same advice too.

I only became savvy about the 1488 dogwhistle when I was in my early 20s because I took a course on symbolism and part of it covered hate symbols. And of course had a Liza Simpson slack jawed realization moment considering past emails I used (had a boyfriend born on the 14th, I was born in 88, you get the picture -.-) .

So now, I make sure to tell my peers of this any time I see this mistake being made. I lived in a world where I knew this but my spouse apparently didn’t know until the last couple of years when I had to explain it to him.

You don’t have to be young to give people good advice. You don’t have to be young to be doing activism or to know hate speech dog whistles and tell others. The infantalization of activists* like this is concerning.

It also genuinely feels like it is putting the burden on the next generations to deal with shit as well. The kids might be alright, but now that you know you should also spread awareness of this issue as it comes up? You shouldn’t leave it to the kids anyway? I am very confused by this sentiment in general, really.

Yeah the kids are alright. But so are your peers. So are your elders.

There are lots of people across generations who are alright. Acknowledge the work all around you.

*Like for lack of a better term, someone spreading awareness? Someone giving a PSA? Someone giving a warning? idk.

Very important PSA for folks born in the 80s who don't want to look like a nazi:

I saw someone make a genuinely innocent mistake about this again, so please take note!

The number "88" is frequently used as neo-nazi flagging. It's a numerical code for "HH," which means "Heil Hitler." You may also see it in combination with the number 14, referencing the infamous "14 Words." If you ever see "1488" tacked onto someone's username, or posted as a comment, or in a tattoo, that person is a neo-nazi. Full stop.

If you were born in 1988, don't put "88" in your social media handle. People are going to think you are a nazi.

If you didn't know, now you know.

Source: https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/1488

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ketso · 2 years ago

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Episode 52

This week, Michael and Samuel (Keith's brothers) are coming to visit us. Coming to our place is a road trip, so hey... they are coming with their wives and children. Michael's girlfriend - whom I haven't yet met - gave birth to a baby girl four months ago. So now, the two of them are coming with their son and daughter - both who have driven Masingita up the wall of all walls. Samuel is coming with his wife who's always angry at the world. She hates me so much, so I don't understand how she will be in my house. They have older-ish kids compared to Michael and Keith.

Risuna is on midterm break and he's very happy that his cousins are coming over. We let mzala go home to be with her kids for the week. Keith and I took leave. But obviously we have to be on standby.

I've fixed the bedrooms that they'll be staying in. We put up Risuna’s baby cot in the room that Michael and his girlfriend will be staying in to accommodate their baby girl. Risuna’s bedroom has a bunk bed themed and shaped in a formula 1 car... it has a top bunk and a bottom bunk. I've been trying to get rid of that bed and give him a proper bed, but he wants his bed. His dad said he will tell us when he is ready to let it go. The third guest bedroom is fixed for Samuel's kids. They are older and they are girls. They'll need their space. I had to go shopping for some more linen because I know I'll be judged. So I might as well make this a near-hotel experience.

"Baby", I hear Keith call for me.

"Baby!" Risuna.

I actually just laugh.

"Ey, she's mommy to you. She's my wife." I hear Keith say through his light giggles.

Risuna just laughs.

They find me fixing the last bedroom.

"The rooms look really nice. Thank you for this." He says.

"No problem. I hope we have fun. Samuel's wife is never in a good mood around us. I hope that she doesn't ruin the week for us." I say.

"Michael and I told Samuel to control his wife this weekend otherwise we are kicking them out. Apparently she slapped Zama."

"Ke mang Zama?"

"The girlfriend... Michael's girlfriend."

Oh. I didn't know her name. I just referred to her as the girlfriend that drove Masingita crazy.

"Why did she slap Zama?"

"It was at the welcome ceremony for Nsuku - Michael's daughter - the one we couldn't attend. No one knows how or why their fight started. But Carol slapped Zama and Zama had her arrested."

I cannot believe what I'm hearing.

"Jwale if they start hitting each other here?" I ask.

He looks at me, trying very hard to not laugh.

"There'll be kids here. They mustn't do that crap here. But apparently the issue here is that she's still team Noria and Masingita. That's why she doesn't get along with you and Zama."

"She better not do that or come here with that energy. In my house? Le nna ke tla mo tlapa", I say.

"Baby, we want a peaceful visit. Please."

"Ja, and she must stay within her limits. A re dlali le yena!"

Keith shakes his head at me.

"Can I go swim?" Risuna asks his dad.

"Risuna, it's cold. It's about to rain. You are going to get sick", I say.

"But it's not raining yet. I'll swim for five seconds." Risuna.

"Risuna, no." Me.

"Okay, I'll heat the pool."

"RISUNA!" Now I snap. I don't know why this child chances so much.

His dad looks at me like I'm being too strict. He always gives me this look when I say no to stuff then Risuna sulks for ten minutes straight until he forgets what he's sulking about.

The gate buzzer goes off and security calls on Keith's phone.

"Is it my cousins?" Risuna.

I just pick him up and not answer him.

Keith instructs the gate to "open for them" then hangs up.

"Is it my cousins?" Risuna asks his dad.

"Yes. And your uncles and aunts." Keith.

"YES!!!!"

"Do we bore you? Don't you like hanging out with us?" I ask Risuna.

"I just get bored playing by myself. And everyone has brothers and sisters. How come I don't have one?"

Keith bursts into laughter. I'm just shocked.

"Let's go meet the rest outside", Keith says, distracting this child with big questions.

"COUSIN!" MJ says to Risuna.

"COUSIN! LONG TIME NO SEE!" Risuna mara!

We all actually laugh.

He climbs out of my arms and runs to his cousin. They are so happy to see each other.

"Absheni", Samuel's daughters greet us.

We greet them back. I greet back with a simple hi and hug. Keith goes all deep in Xitsonga with them.

Zama and I greet each other. She has her baby girl with her.

"She's so cute. She's making my ovaries super excited", I say.

"Really?" Keith.

"Hai Keith. Hai!" Me.

Everyone laughs.

We all now greet each other then make our way into the house. I have baby Nsuku in my arms. Samuel's wife doesn’t really mingle with us.

We settle in the TV room. The TV is off, we just have background music playing... a nice African rnb Playlist. Obviously, I put it together. Keith takes Nsuku from me.

"I'm going to prepare us some cheeseboards while the gentlemen take your bags to your respective rooms upstairs. Babe, will you show them where they are staying?" Me.

"Sure, my love." Keith.

"I can help with the cheeseboards", Zama offers.

"Sure. Let's go." I say.

The guys head upstairs, then Zama and I head to the kitchen. I don't know where Carol goes.

"And then? Madam?" Zama starts. Lol!

I shrug my shoulders then say, "She's always been like this since I met her. I've never seen her not be like this. She has her own demons this one - demons that have got nothing to do with us." I say.

"Yoh, she's very rude."

"She's just used to the original wives - Noria and Masingita. You know how that's like... we see it all the time on these reality shows. The OGs never mingle with the newbies. They never like us." I say.

We are now cutting and setting up the boards.

"But is it our fault that these men chose us?"

Zama mustn't think we are sisters in ho-ism. Because we are not.

"Look, Zama. I'm not proud of how I got Keith. Yes, I love him. A lot. I loved him before he even met Noria or before he even married her. But I lost him to her and I had to move on with my life. Which I did do. I never intended to come between them."

"So what happened?" She asks me.

"Noria couldn't have kids. Keith really wanted kids. So they asked me to be their surrogate. I had no issues with that. It was for Keith. There isn't a thing that I wouldn't do for him. When we got to the fertility clinic, they found that Noria's body wasn't producing eggs. So, I was further asked to donate an egg. My egg would be fused with Keith's sperm, then I'd carry the baby."

"Ibhadi elingaka?! That girl... Hai khona! Kuyasho nje ukuthi idlozi belimujikele", I actually don't like Zama.

"Manje ntombo, wangena ke wena intombi yom'suthu, wathatha indoda kanjalo nje?" She continues.

"Cha. When I was six months pregnant, Noria decided ukuthi yena she doesn't want the child anymore."

"Shembe! Manje wena wenzeni ke ngengane?! Eyacelwa uyena nokwenza?!"

"I struggled. She cut all communication between Keith and I. She gave me a lot of money to kill my baby. I took the money because I needed it. But I didn't kill my child. Little did I know that Keith still wanted his child. I guess when Noria found out that I didn't kill the child and that Keith still wanted the child, she got angry. She started stalking me, then one day she attacked. She hurt me so badly that I went into labour and gave birth to a premature baby. Keith was still in hiding about him wanting this child, so he was helping me behind Noria's back. When my son was strong enough to come home, we went to stay with my mother a bit. That's where Keith and I reconnected, he connected with his son, then the downfall of his marriage began."

"Yoh! Kodwa naye lebantinti lakhe uhlanyo! It's as if she just makes decisions without thinking, then does away with them if the consequences of her decisions aren't something that she likes. Besides, Michael told me that Keith never loved her. He loved what she did for him and how she changed his life, but not her. Michael says that you've always been the love of Keith's life."

I'm flattered. This is nice to hear.

"So wena and Michael? How did the two of you happen?" I ask. Keith never tells me the truth about these two. Might as well hear it from the horse's mouth.

"Ay, ntombo... I don't come from much. After my father died, my mom and I got kicked out of amagceke wakwaMkhize - my dad's family. My mom married him then went to live in their homestead. But when he died, she and I got kicked out. We lived with my aunt for a while, my mom's sister. But my mom had an affair with her husband. When my aunt found out, she kicked us out again. The husband felt enough for my mom to actually give her money to carry us until we could find our feet. So we got onto a taxi and came to Gauteng. We've lived in shacks since we got here. I was only nine when we got to Gauteng. But we lived in shacks since. My mom did piece jobs nje so we could get by. Fortunately, I went to no-fee schools that had feeding scheme programs. Those helped us a lot. After I matriculated, my mom found me work where she was working. It was domestic work. The pay would help because hey, two domestic work paychecks are better than one. So I went to work with my mom. We arrived at this company where she worked, and I was assigned to the floor that I had to clean."

She smiles to herself.

"I remember hearing his laughter before seeing his face. It was a laughter that came from such a deep and euphoric place. It was contagious. It was beautiful. I looked up. He walked through the door. His smile matched his laughter perfectly. I had an instant crush on him."

Now I'm enjoying this story. I'm even smiling at her.

"He didn't notice me at first. And I understand. When he saw me, I was either cleaning his working station or cleaning the toilet he'd piss in. But one day, he was working late. My shift was usually 2pm to 11pm, so I was there too. He was making coffee while I was washing the dishes. And we spoke. Yaz, we really spoke. Ngamubona man ukuthi umuntu lo. From that day, we'd greet each other and chat about basic things when we'd bump into each other. Then he started having issues with his wife. And he'd tell me about it. One day, he told me about it close to a water-cooler... then before I knew it, we needed to discuss it in a more private area. So we went to hotels to talk... and we obviously started having sex."

I look at her.

"I know that I'm probably going to hell for coming between him and Masingita. Kodwa angizisoli. I have a beautiful family with him. We are happy. And my mom no longer lives in a shack. I was able to build her a house in KZN and she can be there now without being bullied or feeling ashamed. I wouldn't exchange that for anything."

Hai ke... as long as she's at peace.

We are chilling with the guys now in the TV room. Carol and her daughters are not here. MJ and Risuna are running around and causing havoc.

"Where is Carol?” I enquire.

"She said that she was feeling tired, so she wanted to take a nap." Samuel tells me.

"Okay. Maybe I can take a cheeseboard up to her?" Me.

"That would be nice. Thanks." Samuel says.

I head upstairs to give her a cheeseboard.

After a slight knock and a come in, I open the door and walk in. She's watching some soapie with her daughter.

"I thought I'd bring you guys something to snack on", I say.

"Thank you, Aunt Bassie."

At least her kids have manners.

"Would you like anything to drink?" I offer.

"This should be fine. Thanks." Carol says.

"Okay. Well, we are all downstairs if you need anything." I say.

She just nods her head at me.

I leave.

Ja neh.

We are all just chilling and chatting away! We even debate about what to eat. No one wants to cook or braai. So I decide to order food.

Carol walks in mid-laughter and mid-conversations.

She has a phone in her hand. She looks angry. We all look at her.

"Samuel, your slut is on the line, holding for you."

We all look at Samuel.

"Mama, what's a slut?" Risuna asks me.

"A very bad word. Don't ever say it again." I say.

"It's what your mothers are! It's what your uncle wants to leave me for!" This woman says this to our kids.

"Risuna! MJ! Go upstairs!" I demand.

They quickly get up and move.

"What?! You don't want your kids to know what you are?! You do these things shamelessly, kanti you want to hide it from your kids?!" She's yelling.

"Risuna! You are still here?!" I yell.

He runs off. MJ is right behind him.

"LET RISUNA AND MJ STAY! LET THEM STAY AND LEARN THE NKUNA WAY! THIS IS WHAT NKUNA MEN DO! RISUNA! MJ! COME LEARN YOUR FATHERS' WAYS!"

I slap her!

Now all the men are on their feet. Baby Nsuku is now in Risuna’s playpen.

"O so hlanya?! Are those conversations you really want to have with children?!" Me.

"Why not?! Am I lying?! These kids must know the truth! That Nkuna men toss people to the side and find sluts to replace them with. Keith, where's Noria?! Huh?! Michael, where's Masingita?! Huh?! I'm sitting here with your sluts and your brother is about to leave me too. YOU ALL HAVE YOUR FATHER'S CURSE! ALL OF YOU! AND IT'S A CURSE THAT YOUR SONS WILL INHERIT TOO! YOU LEAVE GOOD WOMEN FOR LOOSE SLUTS! I THOUGHT IT WAS A CHILD THING. BUT SAMUEL, I PUSHED TWO KIDS OUT OF MY VAGINA FOR YOU! TWO! AND I GET TOSSED ASIDE FOR A SLUT TOO?! YOU ARE LEAVING ME FOR A SLUT TOO?! NISAZOSOKOLA NINA BAKWANKUNA! OUR TEARS ARE NOT FALLING ON THE FLOOR! I'M CURSING YOU ALL! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! IF NOT YOU, MAY YOUR KIDS PAY FOR THE KIND OF MEN THAT YOU ARE!"

She leaves the TV room, leaving us all... speechless.

...

It is 2am.

My brothers and I are chilling in my bar, drinking and talking.

"I didn't even know that shit was real between you and Carol. What happened?" I ask.

"I also knew nothing. I seriously thought that of the three of us, you are the one that got it right." Michael.

"I made a mistake. I swear. I fucked around. I'm not proud of it at all. And I certainly don't want to lose my family over it. My girls - my wife and my daughters - they are my world. I'd never leave them for anything or anyone. She just refuses to forgive me." Samuel explains.

"What exactly happened?" Michael enquires.

Sam is actually crying. He's just not hysterical. But there are tears that he wipes before he tells us that, "I met this girl while I was away on a work trip in the Northwest. She was there with her friends. She came onto me and if I'm being honest, she's hot. As she and I get talking, we realise that we both want to smash... smash and pass. No strings attached. It was that one weekend. Then this bitch just became a lunatic. She started stalking Carol, threatening me and shit, telling me that she's not the kind of woman that a man just smashes and passes."

"But you guys agreed that's all you are doing." Michael.

"That’s what I also thought. But clearly, she wasn't capable of that. Yerrr! That girl then started sending pictures and videos to Carol of me and her fucking." Sam.

"So she actually took pictures and videos of you on that day? Doesn't this sound like a set up to you?" I say.

"Yoh. She's been a fucken nightmare in my life. And now Carol won't even believe me when I tell her what I'm telling you guys. Sure, I fucked up. But, I don't want a divorce." Sam.

"So, now that Carol knows, what's this girl blackmailing you about now?" Michael asks him.

"She's upset that Carol didn't leave me. Now she's threatening to leak the photos and the videos to the public." Sam.

"Why isn't this woman in prison? Why haven't you reported her crazy ass to the officials? She took a video of you without your consent. She took pictures of you without your consent. You have laws that protect you in all of this and can have her ass locked up with many people who are like her. Why is she still walking?" Michael.

"You actually have a good point. I never thought about that." Sam.

I give him my phone.

"Phone a lawyer and have them sort this out right now", I say.

He takes my phone.

He makes the call.

...

Bassie was fast asleep when I got to bed. Now, she's up and has already left the bed, so I'm waking up in an empty bed. Hosting neh.

My bedroom door opens.

I look up.

It's Risuna.

He climbs onto the bed.

"Good morning, boy." I say.

"Hello, papa." He rests his head on my chest.

"Did you sleep okay?" I ask him.

"I did. But cousin is still sleeping. Mommy said it's rude to wake people up from their sleep just to play. So I came to sit with you. Mommy kicked me out of the kitchen and said she'd burn me with food."

My boy... I love this guy.

I feel like he's my best friend - after his mother of course.

"Well, you can sit with me. Who is mommy sitting with in the kitchen?" I ask him.

"Auntie Carol”.

I'm shocked. He lifts his head and look at me. Maybe he felt my sudden movement.

"They are not fighting. They drinking mom-juice". He says.

Mom-juice is wine.

"Do you want to watch TV in here while you wait for cousin to wake up?"

He gets excited and nods his head. He loves watching TV in here because his mother never lets him watch TV for too long.

I put in his favourite show and tell him that I'm coming back.

I get out of bed then wear a t-shirt and pants.

"Papa."

"Yes boy?"

"How come, I must sleep in pyjamas, but you sleep naked with mommy?"

Yoh!

"Because we are old. So when you are old, your body gets hot very easily. So, we keep our bodies cool that way."

He nods his head, I hope he's accepting my answer, then continues watching his show.

I walk downstairs. I see Samuel sitting just outside the kitchen. Ja, he's also here to make sure that these two don't set my house alight. I grab a chair too. I sit at the door. Sam and I nod at each other.

Carol: "He keeps saying that it was a mistake."

Bassie: "you sound like you don't believe him."

Carol: "I don't."

Bassie: "Why not? Because Michael left Masingita for Zama? Because Keith left Noria for me?"

Carol: "Yes! It's like they just do this just because they can."

Bassie: "You know Carol, I don't like you. At all. I think you are rude and unnecessary. So trust me, I'd do anything right now to tell you how much you deserve this and that it's nice to see that your marriage isn't as perfect as you think. But... I have to be honest. I think you are too invested in the issues of marriages around you, that you are now internalising their issues and making them yours. And that's not fair on you, your husband and your family. You need to look at your marriage in its own light and in light of its own experience, then judge the said mistake against that. Now I'm not saying that you should stay with Sam if you want to leave him. What I'm saying is that if you must leave him, leave him because he had a moment of weakness and ended up entertaining a lunatic when he was supposed to be faithful to you. Be mad because he slept with someone while his penis was supposed to be reserved for you. But leave Masingita and Noria out of it. Because the versions of their stories that you know are the versions that are the most suitable for whoever told you their side of their story. It doesn't mean that you know the whole story."

There is silence.

After some silence, Carol says: "I'm sorry for how I've treated you all of this time."

Bassie: "You are loyal to a fault. I respect that, it just was to my detriment in this case."

Carol: "For what it's worth, I like you better than Zama. She's ghetto and lacks class. And she needs to learn when to shut up."

Even Sam and I giggle, because this is very true. But Michael loves her as she is.

After these ladies have laughed about this, Carol says: "How did you forgive him?"

Bassie: "Who?"

Carol: "Keith. How did you forgive him?"

What the hell did I need to be forgiven for?!

Bassie: "For what?"

At least I'm not the only one that's lost.

Carol: "I mean... you guys have been in love with each other since childhood. You lost your virginity to him. He still chose another woman over you. You watched him marry her and give her everything that you had earned based on the relationship that the two of you had. You were prepared to be his surrogate with a woman that he chose over you. And he still treated you like disposable shit."

Why is this woman giving my wife ideas?

Bassie: "I guess I had years to be mad at him. I spent so much time being hurt, crying over the decisions that he made of not choosing me. When the time came for us to be together, I loved him more than I hated him. And my son deserved a chance to grow up in stability, with both parents, and in a loving home... not a blended or a broken family because I wanted to punish Keith, yet I know that my heart has only ever belonged to him."

Carol: "And if he were to cheat on you now? Would you forgive him?"

Bassie: "I don't know. But I hope that I never have to find out. There's a part of me that feels like I'd never allow another woman to kick me out of my marriage. No woman alive deserves that kind of satisfaction from my marriage. But there's also a part of me that feels like if Keith finds another woman worthy to pull our marriage apart, then it's not on me for giving up on this marriage. He's a grown man and I do expect him to control himself. If he can't do that, then he's not who I think he is and that's not the kind of influence I want around my son. I'm raising someone's future husband. That's not what I'm trying to teach my son. And if I have a daughter, that's not the kind of behaviour I want her to believe that is okay to accept."

I felt that. I feel like she wanted me to hear that.

"Girl, let's set up the table and call everyone down for breakfast", Bassie.

...

We've decided to take everyone out to the animal park. It's really a treat for the kids more than anything, but it's also something that Bassie and I haven't done since we got here. We thought it would be nice if we all went together.

We have a game drive car assigned to just us. Well, we are quite a big bunch. The mothers all have jerseys. It's a three hour drive and we are starting fairly late. When we left the house, it was warm, but there were rain threats. So the mothers thought fast.

Sam sits at the back with Carol and one of their daughters. The second daughter sits in the seat in front of them with Zama and Bassie. Right in the front sits Michael and I with the two cousins, Risuna and MJ. Zama has Nsuku in her arms, covered in a blanket. Bassie looks at Nsuku with eyes that tell me that she's ready for number two. I even asked her if she'd like a second one. This time, it wasn't a downright no. I'm making progress.

The game drive starts.

It's actually a very nice drive. The kids are the ones asking the most questions. At some point, I even see Sam and his wife cuddle - which is a very good thing right now. We actually see the entire big five. And the boys were more than excited, even the girls. Then it starts to rain.

Bassie gives me a sweater for me and a sweater for Risuna. Risuna climbs on top of me, becoming a baby nje. I think he's tired. He didn't take a nap at all today. Bassie gives us a fleece blanket. She gives a second one to Michael, who then cuddles MJ with that blanket. A third fleece blanket is whipped out and she gives it to Sam, Carol and their daughter. The three of them cuddle together. The last fleece blanket she uses for herself, Zama and Sam's elder daughter who is sitting next to them.

"Do you sell fleece blankets or something? Where did you get so many from? And they are all just packed and ready for action?" Sam.

We all laugh.

"I'm scared of the cold. And I've been in this kingdom long enough to know that rain and the cold is a thing here. I'm always prepared", Bassie says.

"We must take some for ourselves. Please." Michael.

"Noooooooo", I say.

We all laugh. It's not my fault that my wife is a woman with a plan.

It takes another hour for this game drive to be over. MJ and Risuna are now sleeping. Nsuku is also asleep. The rain is hitting so beautifully against the vehicle we are in. There are some windows here, but they don't cover everything so it's really helping that we have these big fleece blankets here.

After our game drive, we go to the bush restaurant that's on this animal farm, but safe... far away from the animals. There are gas heaters lit everywhere so it's a bit warm.

Nsuku is now in Bassie's arms. This mom thing looks amazing on her. I will not lie.

Our food arrives and we all start eating. The rain is POURING now. We have a live view of it because we are outside, but have good shade over us.

I sit next to Bassie. Risuna is sitting on top of me.

I kiss Bassie's cheek. She's so in love with Nsuku.

"Let's make another one", I whisper to her.

"Okay." She finally says.

We smile at each other.

Now I just want to take her home.

"But you must find a PA quickly, because I can't be the kind of home who's at home with a new baby for five minutes then head back to work before my baby even knows who I am." She says.

"I hear you. I'll definitely make a plan to get HR to expedite this faster."

"Make sure it's a gay man", she says.

I laugh aloud.

"Hello my love", we hear a voice. Its Diana.

And who's her love? Because it's definitely not me.

We all follow the direction of her eyes.

She's looking at Sam.

"Diana?" Sam.

"That’s not what you called me in bed. Come on, babe." Diana says.

There is absolutely no way... no way at all, that this is Sam's lunatic. What?!

"I received your restraining order. You want to get me arrested now, babe? Why?! How am I a danger to you and your little family?" Diana.

"I'm calling the police." Carol.

"Vir wat?!" Diana snaps.

"You are violating your restraining order! In front of my children, you shameless woman!" Carol.

"Whooo! This woman must not try me! Aseblief?! Who is she calling a shameless woman?"

Carol is already on the phone.

We see Diana trying to jump over the table and grab Carol. But Zama is up, pushing her away, restraining her really. Bassie gives Nsuku to me. Even Risuna is a bit protective of her. I'm carrying both of them in my arms now.

Bassie runs to the inside of the restaurant.

In no time, she's back with security guards, pointing at Diana.

The security guards handcuff her... also cuff her feet. She looks like a prisoner and she's shouting her lungs out, bringing attention towards us. Our kids are actually scared. Carol is crying. Sam feels and looks like shit. You can just see that it's hitting him now how much he has really messed up.

Nsuku is back in Zama's arms. Risuna is in Bassie's arms. Bassie is also comforting MJ.

The girls are who I feel the most sorry for. They are crying next to their mother. Us Nkuna brothers stand together, not knowing what to do.

The police finally arrive. Diana is now crying.

"Sam, why would you do this to me?! What did I ever do to you? I could lose my job. Sam, please make this stop! Keith! Do something!" Diana will not stop yelling. She's finally taken away.

The drive back home is super quiet. Yoh!

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