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autumnalwalker · 2 years ago

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Find The Word Tag

Thank you for the tag, @sleepyowlwrites.

My words were dry, fry, cry, try, & pry. Alas, it seems my current body of work does not yet contain the "bonus word" wry.

Passing the tag to @chayscribbles, @kahvilahuhut, @void-botanist, @perasperaadastrawriting, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, and the usual open tag for anyone else who wishes to join in.

Your words shall be close, emphasis, face, sort, & right.

Dry: The Archivist's Journal, Day 199

We weren’t even halfway down the path from the house to the side road when we spotted Cass coming toward us sporting her hooded cloak from the floating island trip. She said that she wasn’t expecting us (mostly me) to be up and about this early. Cheeky child.

As for Vernon, we were prepared to wait for him at the turnoff to the cathedral until Maiko pointed out the boot imprints in the mud. Instead we found him waiting for us under a tree outside the front door of the ruins, staying as dry as he could without actually going inside. I can’t say I blame him for choosing to get wet. If I’d had the courage to go into that place on my own I might have done it before now.

When was the last time the five of us were in the same place at the same time? The eve of the floating island expedition? I didn’t have long to bask in sentiment over the reunion of my circle of friends before Cass spoke up proclaiming she was getting out of the rain and went on through those things perpetually cracked doors. (Stuck in the first moments of opening or the last moments of closing?)

Fry: Empty Names - 5 - Rite of First Refusal

“Here you go ladies.”

Eris and Lacuna look up in unison to see the waiter’s returned.

“Tonight’s special for you,” he slides a plate of something fried, unidentified, and between two buns in front of Eris. “And your usual,” he finishes as he places a pile of fries, cheese, and gravy in front of Lacuna.

Eris notices the waiter shiver as he walks away. Poor guy must be new. Implanted memories are always a trip. She makes a mental note to leave an extra tip later.

“Is it just me,” Lacuna finally speaks up, “or does this place listen in on people’s conversations and time the food to it?”

“Oh, it definitely does.”

“Creepy.”

“Eh, I kinda like it.”

“You would.”

“It’d be worse if it was a person, but it's a building, you know?”

“A psychic, debatably sentient, ideological construct of an archetype.”

“Someone’s been doing her research.”

“Enough to know it's creepy.”

“But you still come here.”

“The food’s good enough to outweigh the creep factor.” Lacuna shoves a forkful of gravy-covered-cheese curd in her mouth for emphasis.

Cry: The Archivist's Journal, Day 2

Took a break from writing to look around the house. Found a mirror in one of the rooms. Didn’t recognize the person I saw in it. Spent… I don’t know how long… crying. I’m not sure if this place even has clocks. Weird thing is, it was a happy sort of crying.

Try: A Dream About Games

I am a child playing beneath an abandoned and overgrown overpass with other children. The plants are all brown and parched. Someone has carved dice from the stone at the overpass’s base, but whoever it was never finished carving the numbers on all the sides so we rarely use them. The game we play most involves a hard rubber ball that we kick around. One of us has caught what is either a very spindly crab or a very large spider in a large glass. We discuss the prospect of somehow attaching it to the ball for our next game. This doesn’t sit right with me and I argue against it. The spider(crab?) escapes on its own anyway without my help. I may not have wanted to hurt it, but I still fear it once it’s free and scurrying about.

Someone older - a parent probably, but maybe a sibling - arrives in a truck towing a flatbed trailer with plastic bags full of something soft and colorful. Our game is discarded and the creature quickly forgotten as we climb onto the trailer for the new game of throwing ourselves onto the bags. The truck starts moving and we try to stand upright for the ride and feel the wind on our faces.

Pry: Empty Names - 9 - Test Run

Eris would hardly call the partially ajar door that she soon finds herself prying the rest of the way open like a clamshell several moments later ‘normal’ but, to Road’s point, stepping into the interior of the ship’s upper deck beyond feels less like being eaten than she’d feared. The squared corners where the walls meet ceiling and floor help with that impression, as do the feeble motes of bioluminescence running along those corners. Not enough light to see by, but enough of a glowing outline of features to keep from bumping into a wall or stumbling down the hole in the floor where an ivory ladder leads down to the lower decks. No, not like going down a throat or into a stomach at all, she reassures herself. Sure, it is perceptibly warmer in here than it was outside - still not actually warm though - and it is humid, but any enclosed space on the ocean is like that, right?

#find the word tag #manuscript search tag #tag game #my writing #The Archivist's Journal #Empty Names

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wizardlyghost · 2 years ago

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alright i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna play fallout 4.

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: i have started this game before, but i got about as far as finding a suit of power armour and getting my ass kicked by a giant lizard before getting bored. i have an extremely hazy knowledge of the fallout universe from posts on tumblr and getting to the "what in the goddamn" bit in new vegas, but i don't know a whole lot of specifics about this game, so please dont spoil if you want me to genuinely react when i get there. here's what i know off the top of my head:

- on the FINAL DAY the SOLE SURVIVOR (henceforth: me) goes into one of VAULT TECH's FUCKED UP SOCIAL EXPERIMENT BUNKERS with their (henceforth: my) SPOUSE and BABY, whose name i think is SEAN(?). the SPOUSE is whichever of the husband/wife duo you don't turn into your character, whether or not they actually have a name is kinda unclear in my memory.

- as soon as i enter the VAULT i immediately get CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN. last time i didn't know what was going on and just climbed straight into the pod like a chump. i wonder if they forcibly shove you in if you try to escape? food for experimentation. also your SPOUSE goes into their pod with BABY SEAN(?) because i guess explicitely child-sized unethical experimentation chambers is where VAULT-TECH draws the line? go figure.

- YEARS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY) some ASSHOLES break into the VAULT, shoot my SPOUSE, and steal BABY SEAN(?). i am awake to watch this but they don't notice and reactivate the pods, i get frozen again.

- SOME MORE YEARS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY(?)) i wake up once more due to the VAULT running out of power. the guards have all killed each other or something, all the other vaultcicles are dead in their pods. i fight my way outside past some FUCKED UP BUGS, pick up a PIP-BOY, and head home.

- when i get home my ROBOT BUTLER is still floating around because planned obsolescence has no power here. he gives me the skinny on the APOCALYPSE, i head off up the hill to look for BABY(?) SEAN(?) and find a DOG called DOG along the way. DOG is a GOOD BOY and if any harm comes to him i will burn this entire fucking wasteland to the ground. again.

- i get to a TOWN and kill a bunch of ASSHOLES in a MUSEUM OF AMERICANA. this GUY with a COOL HAT and a SICK ASS LASER RIFLE (i think his name is PRESTON(?)) asks me to go grab a SUIT OF POWER ARMOUR from the CRASHED PLANE ON THE ROOF. this isn't really my playstyle but i do so and BUST SOME HEADS with it. a GIANT LIZARD shows up and repeatedly kills me until i reboot the save and spend fewer MINIGUN BULLETS on the aforementioned BUSTING OF HEADS, saving them for this SCALY BAG OF DICKS. i finally defeat it and spend the rest of my ammo shooting its corpse out of spite.

- PRESTON(?) and i walk back home with his survivors and idk live happily ever after? adopt a bunch of wasteland weirdos, raise some two-headed cattle, learn from the mistakes of the fallen american empire as we rebuild a kinder society from the ashes of our mistakes? i stopped playing here so for now i'm going to assume that's what happens and the rest of the game is just irradiated stardew valley.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW: i'm gonna boot up the game and play for a bit, and try to liveblog about it. there probably won't be a whole lot of posts in the bits i've done before but we'll see. again, if you want me to genuinely react to something when i get to it, please don't spoil it beforehand, it'll be a lot more fun for the both of us.

yee. haw.

#might abandon this halfway through but if not i shall tag it...#fallout 4 #FALLOUT 4: THE RESURRECTION OF OSHA #FALLOUT 4 LIVEBLOG: THE GHOST FALLS OUT

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bluefuckboy · 4 years ago

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Monster

Gn!reader x Dabi

Meant for it to be cute fluff but somehow it mutated. Reader is a bookstore clerk. Sensitive content.

You never know why people think hitting on the bookstore clerk is a good idea. Sure you’re smart and people have told you you look cute with your messy bun and rimmed glasses that you think make you look like a librarian. It’s not like you wear anything sexy. Just a sweater and your name tag.

Yet the man in front of you is clearly trying to start something as you ring up his purchase. He’s stocky and terribly unattractive. Even his voice is grating.

“I like to think of myself as a book nerd.”

He gives you a smile that makes you wanna barf, but you put on a fake grin and answer like you always do. “Well I hope this book adds to your collection then.”

He looks disappointed as you hand him back the copy of Field Guide to Chicks of the United States. His book choice alone was more than enough to make you disgusted by his advances. You give him another forced smile.

“Have a good day.”

He mutters something under his breath as he takes the book and shuffles off. You drop the façade, pushing your glasses up to rub the bridge of your nose. You love your job, of course, but there are times when you wish you could just disappear among the stacks of books you spend your days in.

You don’t realize there’s another customer in line until you hear a deep voice say, “Trouble with your glasses?”

Your head snaps up as you stutter, “Oh! Sorry. I uh…”

You stop as you make eye contact with the man. His eyes are a shade of blue you’ve never seen before. Your mind immediately goes to a way to describe them, shuffling through synonyms for blue, as that word doesn’t do them justice in the least.

Working at a bookstore, or doing anything with books was something you felt you were made to do. Your quirk gave you the ability to memorize entire novels if you wanted to. They say some people have photographic memories, but in your case, your memory is a filing cabinet of anything and everything you’ve ever read.

You had the dictionary and several thesaurus memorized by the time you were four. You were a voracious reader, and your mind stored each page in it’s own compartment. You could quote the entirety of the formidable, rambling sentence that capped off On the Road as easily as telling someone what you had for dinner last night.

It was a quirk you felt privileged to have and you snapped your fingers loudly when you finally found the right word for the man’s eyes. Cerulean. Specific and almost mysterious. Perfectly fitting for the tall, dark stranger looking down at you with an eyebrow raised.

You flush at his gaze and sheepishly take the book he had set down on the counter. You try to make polite conversation to take away the awkwardness you feel.

“Oh Frankenstein, huh? I love this one.”

“Me too,” the man replies, and for some reason you get chills.

You wish you could see his face. He has most of it covered by a mask, and the hat he’s wearing makes it even more difficult to make out features aside from his eyes. You notice yourself staring at them again and you clear your throat.

“Certainly a classic. I always like to hear what people think of it. Whether it’s more a commentary on morality, or the dangers of scientific progress. Or even the core of humanity as a- oh sorry. I’m rambling.” You smile at your feet. “I just really love this one.”

The man’s eyes turn up slightly as he watches you. “I think it’s more of a tragedy.”

Your eyebrows go up. “Oh? How so?”

“Everyone likes to dissect the representation of the Monster and point fingers at who is the villain. Personally I think Dr. Frankenstein is the real monster.”

His voice gets quieter. “His Monster never asked to be made. He was made to fulfill Frankenstein’s arrogant ambitions. And then, when he’s not good enough, Frankenstein abandons him.”

He huffs out what sounds like a pained laugh and you can’t help but feel he’s speaking from some sort of personal experience. You turn the book over in your hands, trying to formulate a reply.

The man, however, continues, his eyes distant, “Everyone is so quick to judge such a hideous creation. I’m curious as to would they do if they found out who the real monster was?”

He sighs and then hands you the exact amount rung up on the register. As you put your palm out to cup the coins he places there, his fingers brush your skin. It feels unnaturally hot and you quickly clench your hand shut, keeping the cold coins inside.

You go to hand the book to him. He meets you halfway, the sleeve of his jacket riding up as he extends his hand. Your stomach drops as you see a row of thick, surgical staples winding around his wrist, separating the smooth skin of his hand. The flesh covering his wrist is marred, continuing up his forearm into the dark sleeve.

The man must notice your lingering eyes as he takes the book. He puts his hand up, the sleeve falling more, revealing the same warped skin. His face is emotionless as he speaks again.

“Always the monster who suffers. At least he gets to go out in a blaze of glory so to speak.” He lowers his hand and his eyes lock with yours. “If only the agony of the flames could have been felt by the corpse of his creator.”

Your mouth goes dry at his words and you feel your heart speed up. He holds your gaze for another second, then you watch his back as he leaves. As the door shuts behind him you let out a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding in.

A week later you stand in the sea of people staring up at the man on every tv, every screen. You recognize his voice. As if you could ever forget. But now you can see all of him.

You can see all the scars, the countless staples holding him together. His eyes are staring at you, boring into you as you hear the words he’s saying. It’s hard to process the horrible things he’s saying. You want to cover your ears and close your eyes. Get away from the horror being revealed.

But you’re stuck, transfixed as his story echos the words within the pages of Mary Shelley’s masterpiece of fiction. You almost wish this was the same. But you know it’s real. It’s a reality that makes your blood run cold as you stare once again at those cerulean eyes.

Your mind subconsciously pulls forth some of the final words of Frankenstein’s monster. You cover your mouth in fear that you might let out a malapropos laugh at the cruel irony.

“I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of the torturing flames.”

#ha angst #dabi #dabi x reader #dabi x gn reader #frakenstein #books #bookstore au

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grapefruitsketches · 4 years ago

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And when I break it's in a million pieces (1/5)

Rated T

Twin Jades post-canon case fic, POV Lan Xichen, angst, hurt/comfort, canon-typical injuries/blood

Chapter 1 - For fytheuntamed’s Untamed Fall Fest Day 8 - Lan Xichen (better late than never!)

Also available on AO3

“No.”

“Wangji. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

“No.”

Xichen sighed, letting his eyes close, letting his mind calm, allowing a patient but firm smile to grace his face.

Lan Xichen had left seclusion only a short few weeks ago. It had become more and more difficult to resist the awareness of the responsibilities he had abandoned, had piled onto his uncle, his brother, maybe even the younger disciples. But even as this understanding crushed him, it had taken still another month for him to finally work up the courage to stand up, to walk out, to announce that he had returned.

Now he just needed to convince his most stubborn family member to let him take those responsibilities back.

“Wangji. You’re busy. You’ve taken on so much,” he looked his brother straight in the eye, “Let me do this for you.” He saw something flicker in his younger brother’s eyes at these words. The smallest motion, but a flinch all the same.

“I’m going with you.”

“Wangji…” but Xichen knew he’d already lost this battle.

A part of him approved of his brother’s resolve. His little brother seemed to intuitively understand that sometimes, whether someone should be trusted should be questioned.

And was Xichen really in a place to criticize such a perspective?

“Fine,” Xichen finally relented, smiling softly at his brother’s unwavering expression, “Perhaps it would be nice to have a companion in this task after all,” he looked into his brother’s eyes, “But only if you truly think you can be spared without too much trouble later?”

His brother smiled almost imperceptibly, and nodded.

It was to be Lan Xichen’s first night hunt in… longer than he cared to remember. Even before his seclusion, there had been his sect leader duties, various diplomatic missions, his own personal studies and training there to draw him away from working in the field. After the fallout from the Sunshot Campaign, he had never minded the quiet. But he had to admit, a part of him had missed this.

It had been too long since the Twin Jades had set off on a journey together, just the two of them. Though they walked in silence, a part of him, deep within, smiled.

And another part resented that he dared to enjoy this.

There had been a call for help near Gusu’s western border. Details had been shaky, but the distress real. The pain evident in the letters sent to the Chief Cultivator by those who had lost loved ones. Sent to his brother.

The notion of Wangji as the Chief Cultivator still felt odd to Xichen. It wasn’t that Xichen thought his brother wasn’t suitable for the role – no matter how distinguished and respected the name Hanguang-jun, Zewu-jun had always managed to think even more highly of him than the cultivation world at large – instead, he was surprised that his brother had accepted it. He knew when his brother was happiest: with his guqin, with Wei Wuxian, or, at one time at least, on the road with his brother.

But tedious politicking? Mediating disputes?

His brother could be good at it, if he wanted to be. But did he want to be? Or had the Cloud Recesses been left so damaged, so vulnerable without its sect leader, that Wangji had had to commit himself to something he had never wanted to do? Had every moment Xichen spent wallowing in seclusion, every moment piecing himself together after he had let himself shatter, been a moment tearing his brother apart?

“We are here.” Wangji said, and Lan Xichen shook himself out of his reverie. Centering himself and seeking to take in and enjoy his surroundings.

It was town that could easily be confused for any other in this part of Gusu. Pockets of shopkeepers selling their wares. An inn with only a small handful of rooms. Little houses lining the streets, which mirrored the river’s path.

“Shall we… go to the inn?”

Lan Xichen blinked away memories of other towns, other times, like this, and nodded, following his brother to check in to their rooms. He didn’t fail to notice, but still chose to ignore, Wangji’s long, hard stare. He was concerned. Xichen knew his long silences on their way here hadn’t helped. It was jarring, even to Xichen, flipping their dynamic such that Wangji could now be said to be the more talkative of the two, But perhaps it was simply a result of the choices each brother had made: Lan Wangji had become more connected, more grounded, to the world around him, even as it seemed Xichen was liable to simply drift away at any moment, back to the quiet that had comforted him in seclusion.

Xichen only hoped that through this mission he could assuage these concerns, convince his brother that he could focus on other, more important things.

They arrived at the inn, and Wangji booked their two rooms as Xichen stood by his side, thoughts far away, but ensuring that a part of him maintained a polite smile.

It wasn’t fair, Xichen thought as he allowed himself to rest, to sit on the bed, to close his eyes. Wangji asked for so little, but did so much. Of course Xichen should have seen it coming. Should have known that by offering to take on this call for help, he was effectively asking his brother to join him, to add one more thing to the long list of responsibilities he carried. Xichen sighed, wondering what tasks his brother kept hidden from him, which concerns he kept secret, in order to protect the older brother who should instead be the one protecting him.

A knock at the door. Xichen flinched and immediately admonished himself for wasting time ruminating so darkly when he and his brother had agreed to freshen up quickly, and meet up to begin their investigation. The quiet was comfortable, familiar, easy to fall into. But comfort and familiarity were not what he should be permitting for himself right now. He had taken too much already.

They had work to do. He had to do this – so that Wangji could trust him again, so that Wangji didn’t feel obliged to tag along, could continue his own work without worrying that his brother might be struggling elsewhere.

A knock again, a questioning, “Xiongzhang?”

And Lan Xichen stood himself up, breathing deeply, pulling his mouth into a smile, and was halfway to the door when his brother slid it open.

“I’m coming, Wangji,” Xichen said, not missing the brief look of panic Wangji had carried when he’d slid the door open.

Xichen chastised himself – be on time – he reminded himself. How could he consider himself reliable if Wangji couldn’t even be sure he’d follow the most basic etiquette?

They had spent the afternoon making inquiries in town, and Xichen was just… tired. He didn’t think he could handle hearing another story of grief, of hope mixed with fear. Whatever was taking these people seemed to take some kind of sick pleasure in preying on those who were already down. A farmer who had shared an area of land with a friend, who’d disappeared not long after a devastating fire. A man who had vanished shortly after his sister’s marriage to his best friend had fallen apart. A couple who had only just lost a child when one of them had been taken.

Xichen watched as Wangji bowed to the shopkeeper and made his way back to his brother.

“Anything helpful?” Xichen smiled wanly, already knowing the most likely answer.

Wangji, predictably, shook his head, “More of the same. Disappearances. Travelers last seen taking the north path out of town, not rejoining their companions later,” Wangji paused, “But the shopkeeper also said he thought only one was ever taken, even if a pair went out.”

Xichen nodded, adding, “So it would seem our culprit has a type. People it can lure out, maybe it is looking something specific in the victims?”

Wangji hummed in agreement.

Xichen let out a breath, turning towards his brother, “Should we try the path to the woods themselves tomorrow? See what clues may be there? It will be dark soon, and we should eat.”

His brother nodded and two walked back, side by side, not quite in the lock step they had once fallen into so naturally.

Lying in bed that night, staring at a strange ceiling, a long overdue change of scene, Xichen found the familiar thoughts returning to him. The desperation, the anger in da-ge’s face that he had so readily dismissed the last time he had seen him. The pain, the shock of a-Yao when Xichen had finally dared open his eyes to see what he had done. The steely, determined look in his brother’s eyes as he let himself be beaten half to death, as Xichen let it happen right before his eyes.

He had seen, but not understood. Understood, but not quite seen. Both seen and understood, but even then, refused to act.

It was no wonder Lan Wangji, burdened with Chief Cultivator duties as he was, still did not want Xichen to travel alone. To be asked to make observations, assessments, decisions.

Xichen sighed, closing his eyes and trying to coax sleep forward, urge it to take over for now. Lan Xichen had learned the hard way how years of overwork, of insufficient support, could chip away at someone. Could turn someone you thought you knew into someone unrecognizable. He knew his brother to be strong, capable, willing to do whatever was necessary, but he couldn’t let his brother’s appearance of being held together dissuade him. Could not let himself ignore the burdens of being a younger brother. A Chief Cultivator.

Not again.

He needed Wangji to know he could tell his brother anything, ask him for help whenever it was needed. If he wouldn’t, how could Xichen prevent Wangji from breaking, like so many Xichen had supposedly loved but ultimately let down before him?

#untamed fall fest #lan xichen #lan wangji #twin jades of gusu #twin jades of lan #twin jades #the untamed #cql #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #my writing

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ramabear · 3 years ago

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idk how long you wait between posting updates, but if youre that conflicted why not just post act 1 p1+2 and then wait until you finish whatever else until you continue posting? seems good to me, i dont think people will complain about having to wait for act 2 when the alternative is waiting until the original posting date. whatever u do i shall support :)))

i realize you sent me this ask in a way to show support and offer your opinion on posting trustfall but im kind of in a place where i needed to rant a little bit about things related to why im debating the timing on this so thats what this answer became.

its a combination of things that lead me to this back and forth on when to post and such. on the one hand, ive been trying really hard not to post things that arent finished yet (which would be so much easier if everything i started working on these days wasnt gigantic!) because i hate to disappoint and i hate that lingering feeling of half finished/abandoned things out in the wild that i already had to work through getting over with all the other stuff ive had to leave behind or that is unfinished.

on the other hand, i realize that finishing everything first means that, well, nothing gets put out regularly and so people forget about my writing and forget about me and i feel less engaged and less happy. also theres the looming fear of mortality that i'll not get too deep into but basically i fear not being around to post things too

then on this third hand, we have the goals that i set out for myself (other than the finish-before-post). last year the goal was reaching a million words (which i did) so this year the goal was to get to a point where i could post daily for a year. yeah, i realize its a bonkers goal. i still wanted to do it, though. and that combined with dont-post-until done left me in this lurch of like. not posting at all.

which is fine because i am generating content! i have lots of content. i have oodles of content. but ive been holding back because i dont want to post yet, until its done.

only it keeps growing. and growing. and fucking g r o w i n g in wordcount and complexity and because i've been focusing on trustfall, the smaller simpler things have gone a bit to the wayside.

anyway, i'm set now on posting this saturday (i prefer to post on the weekends so i dont obsessively check comments during my workday, i dont need more distractions) and i'm gonna work out the tags i'm using for the first part tonight so honestly all of this back and forth is really moot at this point. i am going to start posting and i'm going to post weekly until i run out of content. and probably i'll post twice a week a couple of times or i'll post another fic in the same week or something i dont know. i might reach halfway through the year in posting and just get fed up with waiting on the other stuff and start posting it too or i might get post happy around the holidays and post once a day until christmas

who the fuck knows, my dude, who knows

anyway. my head hurts, dinner is finally ready, i gotta figure out the tags and im gonna go pour myself a drink. thanks for the ask, and the support, the rewrite is certainly something and i hope it lives up to the hype. goodnight.

#ramables #trustfall related #sort of anyway #long post #sorry for going on anon theres other stuff that's making me overthing this Simple Thing #because it is Simple and Not really a Big Deal unlike other shit in my life that is #my head really does fuckin hurt lol

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afni-fics · 4 years ago

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Elder Scrolls DC - A Reluctant Dragonborn - Chapter 8: The Bandit Tower

Elder Scrolls DC - A Reluctant Dragonborn - Chapter 8: The Bandit Tower by C_R_Scott Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Red Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Tim Drake, Lucien Flavius Additional Tags: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Skyrim/DCU crossover, Reluctant Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Not Beta Read Summary:

In the pre-dawn hours, Tim and Lucien begin their journey to Bleak Falls Barrows. Along the way, they come upon an old abandoned watchtower...

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

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About an hour before sunrise. Tim left Gerdur's home without waking its occupants and went to wait for Lucien on the bridge that lead out of town towards the mountains. He nibbled on some bread and cheese as he listened to the sound of the water rushing over the rocks underneath him. It was a calming sound that soothed his jangled nerves somewhat, and also helped distract him just a little from the fact that he had no access to coffee.

Now that several days had passed since first waking up on that road to Helgen, his body had acclimated enough to remind him, at that god-awful pre-dawn hour, oh by-the-way aren't we addicted to caffeine and why haven't you gotten your fix yet?! Unfortunately, far as he could find from both the inns in Riverwood and in Whiterun, coffee just didn't exist in Skyrim. Apparently Nords just woke up and powered through mornings like Kryptonians.

On top of the growing headache behind his eyes that always signaled the first miserable sign of caffiene withdrawl, Tim was also coping with the lingering pain from his burns. Though he'd used the balm and re-wrapped his torso, upper left arm, and shoulder in linen bandages, the ache of the burn had made it nearly impossible to sleep, especially since he couldn't reach the entire burn area on his back. There were areas he just couldn't get to on his own, and he hadn't wanted to ask for help from anyone else.

So he was sore, tired, and feeling irritable at hell. If it weren't for the weight of the three hundred gold coins resting in pouch at his waist, he would've seriously considered leaving Lucien behind to spare him the pain of dealing with his foul mood. The poor museum man just didn't deserve that.

"I'm going to step out on a limb and guess you are not typically a morning person."

Tim glanced toward the voice and scanned Lucien carefully. While the man had professed not to be much of a fighter, at least he had the sense to know how to dress for the climate they were about to travel into. He appeared to be wearing multiple, sensible layers of clothing meant to keep him warm underneath a long robe that was trimmed with intricate embroidery and had a hood that was already drawn over his head. Above that he wore long fur cloak that settled upon his shoulders and down his back. The man also had a backpack that was probably filled with his research gear, a small oil lantern that was clipped to one side of his belt, and a sheathed sword strapped to the other side.

Tim smiled wryly. "I've always been more of a night owl," he said, hoping belatedly that owls were actually a bird that existed in this place.

Apparently they were as Lucien gave him a sympathetic look. "I understand completely. Used to be the same way when I entered university a few years back. Here." The scholar reached into his bag and pulled out what looked like a leather waterskin.

Tim took the waterskin and noticed it felt warm. He gave Lucien a quizzical look.

"It's a blend of tea I concocted to help with these kinds of mornings. Brewed some up and made enough for both of us. I figured it was the least I could do for surprising you last night with 'extra baggage' for your trip to the Barrows." Lucien urged Tim to try it.

Curiously, Tim did take sip. It definitely wasn't coffee, but as far as teas went it wasn't that bad. There was definitely a strong herbal quality to it, though Tim couldn't even begin to identify what it could be from. There was also a slight smokiness to the flavor as well, as if there was some sort of roasted grain mixed in. But most important of all, whatever was in it was taking the edge off his caffeine withdrawl symptoms.

"Thanks Lucien. I really needed that," he said after a moment.

"Wonderful! Shall we be off then?"

***

When the pair of them left Riverwood, though the sun hadn't risen yet the sky was clear. Unfortunately, the further up the mountain they went towards the Barrows, the worse the weather got. First there was fog. Then there was snow. Tim had shrugged his own fur cloak into a better position to cover more of his body. A glance backward confirmed Lucien had done the same. It was clear neither of them were acclimated to this kind of weather, not like the local Nords.

"How long do you think it will take to reach the Barrow?" Lucien asked as he paused to warm his hands over his small oil lantern.

Tim made a mental note to purchase a lantern the next time he saw one at a general store. "Gerdur said that once we reach the abandoned tower, we should be about halfway there."

They continued their trek up the barely there path for about an hour. The snow and the fog made it hard to see more than a few yards far in front of them. For awhile there, Tim wondered if perhaps they had missed seeing the abandoned tower at all.

As their path began to level off where the mountain began to naturally plateau Tim could finally see it. There was an old stone watchtower set right at the edge of a steep cliff overlooking the valley below.

"Finally," Lucien said as he caught sight of the tower as well. "Let's stop there for a bit of a rest before going up the rest of the way."

Tim almost agreed with him, but then he noticed movement around the base of the tower. "Wait!" he said as he reached out to snag Lucien by the cloak and dragged him behind a large pile of rocks.

"What's wron--" Lucien started to ask, but was startled by the expression on his companion's face. Tim's face was a mask of deadly serious focus as he stared at the tower from behind the cover of the rocks.

"There are people at the tower. At least two."

Lucien peeked over the top of the rocks, eyes squinting as he tried to see through the fog and snow. "They must be the bandits that have taken root in this area. But are you sure about the number? I can barely see the outline of the tower through all this mist, let alone any people." When he didn't get an answer, Lucien glanced to his side. "Timothy?"

Much to his surprise, he was all alone except for Tim's footprints winding around the rocks in the snow.

***

Tim stealthily moved closer to the tower by slinking from cover to cover. He hoped Lucien would take the unspoken hint and stay behind until he was done.

This... felt good. Hiding in shadows. Keeping a civilian safe. Creeping up on goons/bandits while he plotted their inevitable takedown. Finally, for the first time since arriving in Skyrim, Tim felt like himself.

From where he sat, he could see that there was just a change in the guard. One who had been standing at a post a few yards from the tower entrance was swapped by another who'd walked out from it. Tim counted his lucky stars. It was this movement that had caught his attention earlier. Due to the weather, if it had just been the guard standing there, he might not have caught sight of him until it was too late.

Once the other guard disappeared into the tower, leaving his partner alone, Tim made his move.

The solid THUNK of the steel dagger embedding itself in the trunk of the tree he'd been leaning on immediately caught the attention of the bandit guard, startling him from his attempt to stay warm at his post.

"What the--?!" he exclaimed as he whipped his head to the left and saw the dagger vibrating mere inches from his nose. Then the sound of rustling in a nearby set of bushes, and the sight of the snow-laden branches jostling around immediately caught his eye. It looked as if there was a shadow hunched behind it. With a growl, the guard immediately drew his sword and rushed the bushes, prepared to slice open whoever had thrown the dagger. However, he ended up choking on his warcry as he saw that there was nothing but a backpack sitting in the snow. "Huh?"

Tim smirked as he crept out from behind a large boulder, his quarterstaff a comfortable weight in his hands as he prepared to swing it at his unsuspecting target.

***

The sound of a body falling to the ground with a muffled groan after a series of suspicious thudding noises caught the attention of the original guard as she poked her head out of the tower's entrance. This one drew her bow and nocked an arrow immediately upon seeing that their compatriot was not where he was supposed to be. Cautiously, she walked across the bridge that led to the mountainside. Then she saw the body of the other guard.

"Skialg!" she called out with alarm. Caution thrown to the wind, she rushed forward to check on him, though, she never saw the staff that jutted out in front of her feet, tripping her into the snow.

The moment the bow was out of her hands, Tim stepped out and kicked it well out of reach. The female Nord bandit looked up to find a wooden staff pointed ominously at her face. Her eyes widened in horror.

"You've got two choices," Tim said with a dark smirk and a low tone. "You can either jog down the mountain and never come back, or you can end up like your friend there, taking a nap in the snow. Which would you prefer?"

Tim was ready for a counterattack, and was mildly surprised when it never came. He was expecting anger and retaliation. Instead, there appeared to be genuine terror on the woman's face as she nervously scrambled to her feet and booked it down the mountain path, racing past Lucien without a second though even though she could clearly see him.

As soon as she was out of sight, Tim relaxed and rested his staff on his shoulder. "Well that was disappointing," he said as Lucien walked up to him. Though the sky was still overcast, somewhere beyond the clouds the sun had risen and had lightened up their surroundings considerably. "Are bandits around here always so skittish?"

"Well how would you feel if you had a mage's staff aimed at your face?" Lucien said with a disapproving frown. "Honestly, Timothy! A Fire Blast or Sparks or Frostbite at point-blank range like that would have been completely excessive and resulted in backlash on you as well as your target. Who taught you how to use a staff with such bad form anyways?"

"Mage's staff?" Tim looked at Lucien with confusion.

Lucien noticed the odd look Tim gave him, then motioned for TIm to give him the staff. Without protest, Tim handed it over. After a moment, it was the scholar's turn to look confused. "Wait... Is this... Just a stick?"

"Actually, it's a quarterstaff."

"But... Wait, so you don't use magic at all?"

"No."

"But you carry staff."

"Yes."

"That has no magic whatsoever."

"I guess not? Wasn't expecting it to when I bought it."

"But... What do you do with this, if not to cast spells?"

Tim blinked at him, then rubbed the back of his neck. "I just... well... hit people with it?"

Lucien gaped at him. "And, that works?"

Tim pointed at the other bandit that was still unconscious.

"Mara's mercy! Did you actually kill that bandit with a stick?!" Lucien went over and poked the bandit with Tim's quarterstaff experimentally

Tim sighed. "No, he's not dead. Just unconscious. He'll be out for hours, and we'll be long gone by then."

Lucien straightened up with a contemplative expression on his face. "So... your entire plan to get us past the bandits on our way to the Barrow was to sneak up on your own, with just a stick, to bludgeon a pair of bandits into Oblivion, but not really because you had no intention of actually killing them?"

"Yeah. Pretty much," Tim remarked as he went back to the original guard's tree. He tugged the dagger out of its bark and then went to retrieve his backpack from where he'd thrown it earlier. "Maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but even if they're bandits and on the wrong side of the law, they're still people with lives and possibly even families. To end their lives so casually, as if they were worth nothing at all..." He sighed as he closed up his pack. "It's just... not the way I was raised. Ending another human life should never be an option if there are other solutions available."

When Tim looked at Lucien again, he found the scholar studying him in a way that made him feel a little uncomfortable, like he was a puzzle needing to be solved. "That's a very noble sentiment. Truly in the spirit of Stendarr himself," Lucien finally said as he handed the quarterstaff back to Tim. "Hopefully it won't get you killed one day. Tamriel could use more people who thought like you do, though I doubt the bandits on the road will show us the same mercy."

Tim gave Lucien a weak smile. "Hopefully," he echoed. Then he motioned for Lucien to wait as he took a few minutes to drag the still unconscious bandit back into the tower. When Tim came back out to continue his journey with Lucien to the Barrows, he shrugged his shoulders at the odd look the scholar gave him. "What? It wouldn't be much better if I left him out in the open to die of exposure or to be eaten by a wolf."

Lucien laughed as he walked alongside Tim once more up the mountainside. "Somewhere up in the shrubbery there's a starving wolf that's sure to be cursing your name right now."

"Well lucky for me, I've got a big stick."

-------------------------

Author Note: This is being pantsed more than plotted, and this is not beta read. We'll see where this journey takes us. Mostly I'm just doing this for my own amusement.

Note: If you have any questions about the playthrough and Tim's feelings/experiences that aren't described in the chapters, please ask me in the comments. I'll do my best to answer your questions as best I can.

#elder scrolls dc #skyrim fanfiction #tes 5 skyrim #tim drake #red robin #batfam fanfic #wip #afewnovelideas #crossover

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my-unruly-heart · 4 years ago

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my heart’s at the wheel now

Tag List: @radcowboyalmondtree @annabanana2401 @babeebobo

masterpost

sorry if this is bad, it was kinda just me exploring a different way of writing and how Anne deals with her trauma around the beginning of May. So it will talk about her beheading in passing and there is a minor panic attack.

30th of April

“This quarrel with Norris, and the gossip it caused, may have been the reason for an argument between the King and Queen on Sunday 30th April, recorded by Alexander Ales and written as an account for Elizabeth I, Anne and Henry’s daughter, in September 1559:-”

“Never shall I forget the sorrow which I felt when I saw the most serene queen, your most religious mother, carrying you, still a baby, in her arms and entreating the most serene king your father, in Greenwich Palace, from the open window of which he was looking into the courtyard, when she brought you to him. I did not perfectly understand what had been going on, but the faces and gestures of the speakers plainly showed that the king was angry, although he could conceal his anger wonderfully well. Yet from the protracted conference of the council (for whom the crowd was waiting until it was quite dark, expecting that they would return to London), it was most obvious to everyone that some deep and difficult question was being discussed.”

The queens knew may 19th would be a bad day for Anne but they didn’t expect her to pull away from everyone so early. They had all been at an interview (that seems to be how all these stories start) and it was seemingly going very well, the historian was kind and genuinely cared about hearing the queens’ stories. He also was very aware of the date and before they began pulled Anne aside and told her she didn’t need to answer anything that she didn’t want to, he also asked what topics she would like to avoid. So, all in all, it was a pretty successful interview.

The feeling of dread Anne had begun to feel that morning was forgotten by the time she had retired to her room that evening. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits as the second queen fell asleep with a smile on her face.

1st of May

“Henry VIII and his second wife, Queen Anne Boleyn, attended the joust just as they had in previous years, but this one ended with the king abandoning his queen unexpectedly. If Anne hadn’t figured out that something was going on before this point, she surely must have been suspicious at the king’s sudden departure.

We know that court musician Mark Smeaton had been arrested the previous day and that within 24 hours he’d confessed to sleeping with the queen. However, Anne was in the dark. Bad things were happening around her, but she did not know what was going on.”

Anne had to drag herself out of bed that morning. The usually energetic girl shuffled quietly to the kitchen where all the other queens were already seated.

“Morning love,” Catherine smiled at the younger queen as Jane turned to make Anne a cup of coffee, a rare allowance for Anne that early in the morning. “Sleep well?”

Anne looked at Catherine for a moment, blinked a few times then shrugged, “Oui, mais ça n’en a pas envie.” Catherine laughed for a moment before turning to Cathy,

“Do you mind translating love?” Cathy nodded giggling a little at how out of it her girlfriend was, “She said yes, but she doesn’t feel like it.”

The first queen nodded and smiled sympathetically at Anne. Soon all six women had settled down at the table. Kit was talking about something, using dramatic hand gestures for emphasis as Anna laughed at the girl quietly. Anne tried to listen to her cousin but her mind was fuzzy, she was so so tired. Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a minute-

“ANNIE! No sleeping at breakfast!”

Anne looked up blearily at her cousin, gave her a smirk, and dropped her head back onto her arms, folded on the table. The rest of the day went on in a similar fashion and the daze Anne seemed to be in never lifted.

2nd of May

“In “Las nuevas de Ynglaterra de la presion de la Manceba del Rey”, recorded in Letters and Paper on the 2nd May, it reports Rochford’s arrest as being to do with him covering up his sister’s crimes and being an accessory, rather than being one of her lovers:-

“The Emperor has letters from England of 2 May, stating that the mistress of the king of England, who is called queen, had been put in the Tower for adultery with an organist of her chamber, and the King’s most private “sommelier de corps.” Her brother is imprisoned for not giving information of her crime. It is said that, even if it had not been discovered, the King had determined to leave her, as he had been informed that she had consummated a marriage with the earl of Nortemberlano (Northumberland) nine years ago.”

This leaves us wondering whether George Boleyn was arrested first and then the charge of incest made up later, a shocking and horrific allegation which would turn everyone against him and his sister.”

The show that night went well, it was one of those nights where everyone got really into it, including the audience; and for what it was worth, Anne was in a good mood. The second queen joked around with the others, although she stuck close to Maggie’s side the two seemed to be in better form.

The queens and ladies in waiting were all well aware of the date and were frankly quite shocked at how well Anne and Maggie had been handling everything, considering the mess the year before had been. When the group of 10 Tudor women got home that night the adrenaline from the show left them all awake. After some friendly banter back and forth it was decided they would watch Moana.

It was about halfway through the movie when Maggie and Anne began talking amongst themselves, “à quoi sert le crabe ? Je suis désolé de ne pas l’avoir, il se sent un peu plus”. (what's the point of the crab? I'm sorry I just don't get it, he feels a little bit extra)

“Je suis désolé a fait Anne 'Kitty est triste alors j’ai besoin de lui obtenir un chat' Boleyn juste tout un film supplémentaire ?” (I'm sorry did Anne 'Kitty is sad so I need to get her a cat' Boleyn just all a movie extra?) Cathy looked up and laughed at Anne, “Vous n’avez pas de place pour parler, mon amour” (you have no room to talk, my love)

The three girls laughed before turning their attention back to the movie. As Anne got ready for bed she smiled, it had been a good day.

4th of May

“Sir William Kingston, the Constable of the Tower of London, was ordered to make regular reports to Cromwell regarding Anne Boleyn’s imprisonment in the Tower. Obviously, Anne could say things that her enemies could use against her and for that reason her ladies in the Tower were appointed by Cromwell and were also ordered not to speak to Anne unless Lady Kingston was present to remember or record what was said.”

For the next few days Anne seemed to be glued to either Maggie or Cathy, it wasn’t surprising for anyone really so they all went on as normal. It was around this time that Anne and Cathy began going on walks more. No one asked about the change as it wasn't hurting anyone, but it was the first sign of the storm that was brewing.

The show that day had gone well and they had rehearsals for some events afterwords. The girls were all goofing around on the stage while the directors took a few notes,

“See here’s the thing there is no way to know that we all see colours the same!”

“Anne, I thought we had a no talking nonsense at rehearsal rule,” Aragon looked over at the girl and sighed, “stop mumbling to yourself.”

Anne just stuck her tongue out and leaned back onto Cathy who was braiding the girl’s wild hair. She looked up at her girlfriend, smiled, and gave her a quick kiss. The rest of the day carried on in a similar fashion, although Anne couldn’t ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach.

15th of May

“On the 15th May 1536, Queen Anne Boleyn was tried in the King’s Hall in the Tower of London. The trial was to be a huge public spectacle, attracting, according to Chapuys, around 2,000 spectators, so Sir William Kingston had arranged for a “great scaffold” (platform) to be erected in the middle of the hall, benches and seats arranged for the lords, and benches along the walls of the hall. Alison Weir writes of how a special throne for the Lord High Steward, the Duke of Norfolk, was placed on the dais at the end of the hall, underneath the canopy of estate which bore the royal arms – the Duke of Norfolk was to represent the King and would have to put aside the fact that Anne and George were his niece and nephew.”

Five out of the six ex-wives of Henry VIII were awoken by a shrill scream from the loft bedroom. A conversation wasn’t necessary to make the decision that Jane and Catherine wouldn’t be any help, try as they might to help Anne. Kit and Cathy went up the stairs while Anna went to help the other two girls make tea for everyone (“no Cathy you do ‘t get coffee until breakfast and that’s final.”)

When the girls got into the room Anne was thankfully awake, and she wasn’t scratching at her neck. Instead, she was just sat staring at the wall opposite her bed. “He was innocent you know” Cathy frowned as she sat beside her girlfriend, not really knowing what she meant. “Can I touch you, Annie?” Anne nodded before continuing her thought as she curled into Cathy’s side and Kit played with her hair.

“Why’d Henry feel the need to go after George?” Kit sighed, she wasn’t annoyed at her cousin, she just didn’t have an answer for her. Cathy looked at the youngest queen for a second before turning her focus back onto her girlfriend, “No one knows Annie, but it wasn’t your fault.” Anne shook her head and sat up straight, pulling her knees up to her chest. Anna returned at this point, handing everyone a cup of tea before sitting down to join the conversation.

“I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I like the idea that some people think I might” It was Anna who spoke this time, after a few moments of stunned silence. “How do you KNOW you don’t deserve forgiveness? What did you do wrong?” Anne just looked at her, part of her agreeing with Anna but the ‘what ifs’ were loud and overbearing.

After a few moments of silence, it was obvious that Anna wanted an answer, “Nothing.” It was meek and not very convincing but it was a start, and that’s all anyone could ask.

#six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #six fanfiction #tw: death #tw: ptsd #my writing💫#tw: panic attack #parrlyn

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imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul · 5 years ago

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Return to Me - Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven: Revenge and Reformation

A/N: Don’t keep scrolling! This is the next chapter of Return to Me, even if there is no gif of Poe on this one. Poe’s not in this chapter, only mentioned, so I thought I’d use a gif of my faceclaim for Lin Ral for this chapter, just to remind you what he looks like and because he’s in this chapter a lot. I promise, there is a lot of Poe to come in the next chapter and he’s mentioned quite a bit this time, so don’t get too sad or mad with me! Anyways, this chapter sets up a lot to come, so let me know if anything is confusing or you have any questions. As always, lemme know what you think and if you wanna be tagged! I love you all!

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader Word Count: 4,278 Synopsis: The shelter of Serenno provides the reader and the Resistance with a chance to recoup, albeit with a few surprises. A plan still needs to be made to defeat the First Order, and the reader finds help in this planning from an unlikely source.

Tag List: @xeniarocks, @too-many-baes, @araceli91103, @idocarealot, @treblebeth, @treestarrrrrrrr, @thescarletknight2014, @charlottie2998, @ibikus, @mellow-f1, @mrsdaamneron, @trustme3-13, @missjess71, @ella-solei, @minelskede, @gleigh42, @usuallyweepingnacho, @givemethatgold, @and-claudia, @constantdisgrace, @wordsinwinters, @readingvogueonprivetdrive, @trshbb, @kaitlynw011, @ihave2muchtimeonmyhands, @fairytalesforever, @thanos-jeep, @mixedfandxms, @pastelbunny1501, @emotionalcal, @daniellajocelyn, @getyourselfaunicorn, @spider-starry, @jimhalpertcanbuymelove, @angelicaxhouston

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

“Oh, Y/N!” Your mother raced forward and wrapped you in a tight hug. You hugged her back, reveling in the scent that was absolutely your mother: the flowers that grew in the fields around your house, and crisp watercress. You pushed her back a second later and studied her face, trying to determine whether she was real or just some strange illusion.

“Wait, I— Hosnian Prime. You were supposed to be there. I thought you two were . . .” you stumbled over your words. Your mother, Osira, frowned and took your hand in hers, giving it a loving squeeze.

“We were, but we took a trip to Serenno a day before the attack,” she explained.

“You’ve been here this whole time?”

“Yes. We’re alright,” she said, wrapping you in another hug. Your father stepped up and hugged you as well, smiling down at you.

“We tried to contact you on Naboo, but none of our transmissions went through,” Henri said. He and your mother looked at the group you had brought with you, their eyes finally landing on Leia. She smiled and took a step forward to embrace her old friends.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Osira asked with a confused smile and panicked eyes.

“Why aren’t you on Naboo?” your father asked. You looked to Leia for help, but she only nodded her encouragement. There would be no lying to them now, you were going to have to tell them the truth.

“I will explain everything, it’s just going to take a minute, and my friends need their rest,” you said.

“Of course,” Lin said, stepping up. “We have rooms prepared, clothing, food, everything they might need.” Commander D’Acy led the group to the prepared rooms, leaving you alone with your parents and Lin. Thankfully, Leia stuck around to give you some support as well.

“Shall we,” your father said, motioning to the door at the opposite end of the room. You led the way and entered into a conference room. You took a seat at the head of the table with your mother and Leia on either side of you.

“Why can’t we make contact with Naboo?” your father asked first, unable to wait another minute. You shook your head sadly.

“I’m afraid to admit it, but the First Order has invaded Naboo.”

“What?” your father asked in shock, a hand over his heart.

“I was reaching out to Lord Broden when a Stormtrooper cut us off.”

“What are you even doing here? Why weren’t you on Naboo with your people?” Henri asked, his temper beginning to grow as he began a full-blown rant, until he remembered who was around him. He pursed his lips and looked at you angrily, waiting for your explanation.

“I left Naboo to help out the Resistance. It has been clear to me for some time that the First Order is not going to stop anytime soon. I know the senate’s decision was to take no action unless there was outright fighting, but there is no senate anymore. For years, Leia has seen what the First Order is planning, and the galaxy has chosen to ignore it. I may have left my people when they needed me, and believe me, I hate that, but the galaxy needs us. They need the Resistance.”

“Have you reached out to Naboo anymore?” Henri asked. “Surely there is still some hope left there, or we would have heard of its fate just like in the Hosnian System.”

“We’ve reached out a few times, but our messages haven’t gone through, either,” you said.

“How did you all get here? I thought the Resistance had a secret base somewhere,” Lin inquired. You looked over at Leia who nodded.

“A few days ago, I sent my best pilot, Poe Dameron, on a mission to retrieve information that I believed could save the Resistance,” Leia explained. You glanced over at your parents to gauge their reaction to hearing Poe’s name again. Your mother was staring off, her face pale as her eyes bore into the smooth wooden table you sat at. When your eyes trailed over her and found your father, his eyes were cold and hard as he looked directly at you, and the dark leather jacket of Poe’s you still wore over your shoulders. “Poe was captured by the First Order and tortured for what information he knew. Our base was no longer safe at that point and we had no choice but to abandon it. Unfortunately, the First Order was one very short step behind us.”

“I’ve heard of this pilot,” Lin said with a smile. “He’s quite good.”

“He is,” Leia agreed with a gentle smile, also glancing up at your parents. “They must have tortured him for hours because there’s no way he’d give up the Resistance’s location so easily.” You shifted in your seat. Thinking about Poe’s torture made you physically sick, and imagining it going on for hours — you couldn’t bear to think of it.

“So, what do we do now? The galaxy is afraid of the First Order, rallying them together won’t be an easy feat,” Lin said.

“Have you talked to any of the other planets?” you asked.

“No, I’ve been working on making arrangements here.”

“Arrangements?” you asked, but suddenly realized what he meant. “Your father was a senator.”

“Yes, and I’m afraid he was on Hosnian Prime when it was destroyed.”

“I’m so sorry, Lin, I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t,” he said with a kind smile. “Like others, I want to avenge my father’s death, but my people’s safety is of the most importance to me.”

“I agree,” you said, leaning back in your chair. There were so many things to figure out, and it was only now that you were realizing how long it had been since you had slept. Your mother patted your shoulder, drawing your eyes to hers.

“No progress can be made tonight with tired eyes and grieving hearts. Why don’t we all get some sleep and reconvene in the morning,” she suggested.

“A wonderful idea,” Leia said, standing first.

“Y/N, come with me, you can stay with us,” your mother said, holding out her hand.

“I will, I just need to check in with Nové.”

“Okay,” she said reluctantly. Your father’s face had barely changed since Leia said Poe’s name, and you were not looking forward to a lecture tonight. With Leia at your side, you left the conference room to find the block of rooms that Lin had kindly laid out for you.

Nové stood outside one of the rooms, her arms folded across her chest. When she saw the two of you come down the hallway, she met you halfway.

“So, what’s the plan?” she asked.

“To get some rest,” Leia answered for you. She smiled at you both as she was ushered into a room by Commander D’Acy. “Goodnight, ladies.”

“Goodnight, General,” you both answered.

“What’s going on?” she asked when you were alone.

“We’re trying to figure out our next step. No one has any leads yet.”

“Your parents?”

“They’re my parents,” you said with a half laugh. “I’m glad to see them alive. My mother wants me to stay with them, I was hoping you had miraculously found some change of clothing in the Falcon.” Nové twisted her lips in an attractive smile.

“I can do you one better. One of Lin Ral’s servants gave me access to Serenno’s best seamstress, the one that designs all of the clothes for Lin and his family. She lent me a few dresses.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I’ll find you something to wear,” she said, motioning into the room to her left. Laid out on the bed were a few ruffled outfits, the fabrics of which were spilling out over each other to make a rainbow on the bed so that you couldn’t even tell what color the bedsheets were. “I may have gone through more than a few of them.”

“Gearing up for a date with Jessika when she gets back?” you asked.

“Maybe,” she challenged. “And you?” Your playful smile fell, making Nové lose hers, too. “What did your parents say?”

“Nothing, yet. I think they were too happy to see me to be angry that I was gone from Naboo, especially after they heard what happened. But when Leia mentioned Poe their mood definitely changed.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, handing you a nightgown.

“Thank you.”

“I’d invite you to sleep with me, but I know your parents are eager to get their hands on you.” You laughed and nodded your head.

“Yes. Thank you, Nové. For everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You too,” she called.

After changing, you made your way back to your parent’s room. As you stepped in, you found your mother sitting on the bed, nervously fidgeting with her long hair, and your father pacing the room in front of the window. They both turned when you entered.

“Hi,” you said.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Osira said, holding out her hand to you. You walked forward and took hers with a smile, sitting down next to her. “Nové was able to find something for you, then?”

“Yes.”

“You look exhausted.”

“I am,” you said with a soft smile. Your father was still pacing across the room. “Dad, what were you doing on Serenno in the first place?” you asked. If he wanted to fight, you might as well get it over with.

“Working out arrangements,” he said stiffly, glancing up briefly at you with cold eyes.

“For what?”

“Your engagement to Lin Ral, of course.”

“I haven’t agreed to that,” you said quickly. He scoffed and shook his head.

“What were you doing with the Resistance? You know what that could mean, going against the explicit wishes of the senate,” he spat.

“There isn’t a senate anymore.”

“You didn’t know that when you went, did you?” he asked, turning to look back at you again.

“No,” you admitted.

“I know you haven’t made your decision yet, Y/N,” he said, coming closer to you, “But you know going back to the Resistance was a bad choice.”

“I meant what I said in our meeting. The Resistance has always been in the right. You followed Leia when you were my age, why is it wrong for me to do the same?”

“It’s not wrong, you just need to see where you are more importantly needed,” he said, looking at you with pleading eyes. You pursed your lips and looked off. Your mother stroked your long hair cascading over your back, hoping to keep you calm so that this conversation could end smoothly. “Just, tell me one thing.”

“What?” you asked.

“You didn’t do it for him.” You narrowed your eyes as you looked up at him.

“Everything I did was for the good of the galaxy.” Henri nodded and stood up straight again.

“We all need some rest,” he said.

“Yes.”

You found your way to an attached room with a small bed and a water basin. You washed your face and felt the weight of your exhaustion as you fell into bed. The soft fabric of your dress reminded you of the smooth sheets on your bed back home on Naboo. You longed to be there, away from all of this mess. You snuggled into your pillow, thinking about the only person who could make living in Naboo any better than it already was.

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You awoke early, your anxiety making you unable to sleep any longer even if you were still tired. You crept out of bed and past your parent’s room, as if you were a fourteen year old again. The tall, dark walls of Serenno’s castle left much to the imagination. Every shadow seemed to hold a dark figure until further examination proved it was only a sculpture or base.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” You jumped and turned around to see Lin Ral standing a few feet from you. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s alright. Are these hallways always so dark?”

“Yes,” he said with a laugh, “I’m afraid so.”

“What are you doing up?” you asked.

“I could ask you the same.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you said with a smile. “I can’t stop thinking about Naboo. About everything,” you said, your mind wandering off to Poe and his mission.

“I understand. Do you want to try to contact them again? Maybe a message will go through this time.”

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“Couldn’t hurt to try. Besides, what else are we going to do in the middle of the night?” Your cheeks flushed, and you were grateful for the dark halls. Lin led you into a cozy library a few hallways down and got to work sending out a message to Naboo.

“Alright, well the transmission is sent, now all we can do is wait,” he said.

“Thank you.” He settled into the lounge chair across from you. His eyes were heavy with sleep, and you figured he was haunted by memories of his father and Hosnian Prime as well. “And thank you, again, for all of this,” you said, drawing his eyes up to you.

“It’s my pleasure.” The fire lit in the corner of the library left the room warm, and made you feel like you might actually get some sleep. Just as you felt your eyes start to droop, he spoke up again. “I’ve been thinking about how we can stop them,” he said quietly.

“Stop who?” you asked, sitting up.

“The First Order. I know everyone in the galaxy is scared, but I also know that they are willing to fight. Millions of lives were lost when Hosnian Prime was destroyed, but millions more were affected by those deaths. I guarantee there are others out there who want them destroyed just as much as you and I.”

“So, what do you recommend? We already destroyed their Starkiller Base.”

“And the rebels destroyed the Death Star, but the Empire still started to build it up again. We’ve got to put an end to them once and for all.” Your eyebrow peaked a little as you looked at him. His face was stonier than usual, missing its usual composed look. He was hurting and ready to fight. “With the Senate gone, there is no order in the galaxy. That needs to be our first step.”

“I agree, but how do we get people to join? The minute the First Order gets word a planet has joined our fight, they’ll send an attack, just like they did to Naboo.”

“Well, someone has to stand up to them.”

“I know, but we don’t want to put people in danger. We want to be different than the First Order. People need to join our fight because they want to, not because they have to. When Leia asked me to come ba— come to the Resistance,” you corrected quickly, “She wanted me to campaign for her. For too long the Resistance has flown undercover because the senate forbade it from doing anything else. We need to show the galaxy what the First Order is and what we can do to stop it.”

“What, just the two of us?”

“If that’s where we start, yes,” you said, scooting forward eagerly in your seat.

“Where to first, then?” he asked with a smile.

“People we can trust and who would be more eager to help out. Did your father have any friends in the senate?”

“A few.”

“Reach out to them first. We’ve got to get more people on our side before we look at harder targets. People are scared and the First Order is going to come looking for them. If they’re scared, they can be manipulated to their way of thinking.”

“We need to make a stand,” he said.

“And quickly.”

You spent the morning with Lin, planning out who would be the easiest to get on your side, and what help they could bring. You listed names, allies across the galaxy, where weapons and housing could be found, and everything in between. He seemed impressed by your knowledge of wartime rituals but didn’t push to find out how you knew. When Nové found you later that morning, the sunlight was streaming into the library, making the dark corners seem more welcoming.

“Morning,” she said, looking between the two of you curiously.

“Good morning, Nové,” Lin said with a kind smile.

“Morning,” you said as she sat down next to you.

“What’s going on in here?”

“A plan to reform the Republic,” Lin said eagerly. Nové raised an eyebrow at you and you shrugged.

“It’s a start.”

“It is,” she said appreciatively.

“We reached out to Naboo again.”

“Anything?” Nové asked. You shook your head. “Alright, well, your parents are looking for you.”

“Of course they are,” you sighed, standing up.

“Leia has gathered a meeting. I’m sure she’d be very pleased to hear what the two of you came up with.” You looked over at Lin who beamed at you.

“I’m sure.”

“I’ll meet you down there,” he said, standing. He nodded to you and Nové each before leaving the library. Nové waited until he was gone to look at you with wild eyes.

“What’s going on here?” she asked excitedly.

“I told you.”

“The two of you spent all night together?”

“Grow up,” you said, rolling your eyes, “I couldn’t sleep, and he found me wandering the halls. We just started talking and then began to flesh out our plan. Nothing else.”

“Oh, so it’s a shared plan?” she asked with a smirk.

“Well, we came up with it together, so yes.” Nové nodded her head and looked at you curiously. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just, he is kind of hot, though,” she said, looking longingly at the door.

“Why don’t you marry him, then,” you said, walking past her. She ran to catch up with you and laughed.

“Granted, he is no Poe.” You sighed and linked arms with her.

“No, he’s not.”

“I don’t think anyone ever will be in your book. Now, let’s get you dressed. We don’t want to excite your parents by finding you in your nightgown all night with Lin.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You hadn’t realized how tired you still were until Nové got you back to your small quarters. Staying up all night planning with Lin had been productive, but it hadn’t done anything for your mental or emotional state. Nové asked you a few questions, but you were too tired to answer anything. She picked out a gown for you and practically had to dress you in it herself.

“Think you can walk down to the conference room on your own?” she asked. You yawned through a laugh.

“I think so.”

“Good.”

“It’s just General Organa and my parents, right?” you asked, taking the Holopad from her, looking over the notes you had taken during your meeting with Lin.

“And Lin. And Finn and Rey. And probably a few other members of the Resistance.” You looked up at her and sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Any word from Black Squadron, yet?”

“No,” she said with a frown, “But I’m sure they’re—”

“Of course,” you said, shaking your head. “In here?”

“Yep,” Nové said, opening the door for you.

Gathered around a large table was everyone Nové had listed, including Commander D’Acy and Lieutenant Connix. Your parents were the first to recognize that you had entered the room, and both smiled.

“Y/N,” your father said, pulling out the chair next to him.

“Am I late?” you asked, sitting down.

“No, just on time.”

“Lin Ral was just filling us in on your meeting,” your mother said with an excited smile.

“So, what do you think?” you asked.

“I think it’s a great idea,” your father said. “It would be a great start to your career in the sena—”

“The part I’m going to play in this is only to restore order to the galaxy. My devotion is still to Naboo,” you said, looking at him seriously. “And as Mom is still the representative of Naboo, I’m sure the two of you are the perfect people to lead the reformation of the senate. Lin and I came up with a rough plan, and of course, I will continue to support this effort, but that’s as far as I will go with this.”

“Very well,” your father said, averting his eyes from you. It was evident that he wanted to argue with you some more, but in this group, and the conviction you spoke with, he knew better.

“Rey, can you tell us anything about what the First Order’s next step is?” Leia asked.

“I’m not entirely sure. Kylo killed Snoke.”

“So, is he in charge of the First Order now?” you asked.

“I suppose. He wants to be in control of everything. He wants to get rid of the ‘old ways.’”

“The old ways?” Leia asked.

“He doesn’t want the Jedi, the Sith, anything. He wants to start over. With him as a leader.”

“And you by his side?” you asked. She looked into your eyes and nodded.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“If you’re here, it means you’re stronger than he is. That means he either wants you by his side or wants you destroyed. Maybe both.”

“Both sound pretty bad to me,” Finn muttered under his breath. You kept back your smile, noticing the flush to both his and Rey’s faces.

“We’ll need to create a new base in the meantime. Once we get Black Squadron back, we’ll regroup and assess our situation,” Leia said.

“What’s wrong with starting a base here?” Lin Ral asked.

“You’re very kind to house us, but we couldn’t put your planet in danger like that. We’d much rather find someplace more remote, in case worst comes to worst,” she explained.

“Very well, but you’ll stay here in the meantime.” He nodded at you specifically and you gave him a kind smile.

“Until we get word from Black Squadron, we’ll stay here. Make sure everyone knows,” Leia said, looking to Connix and D’Acy.

“Y/N,” your mother said, pulling you in close as the room began to clear, “I heard you spent the night with Lin.” You looked at your father who had the same excited expression on his face.

“We discussed plans to restore the Republic, nothing else,” you said, pulling your arm free. “I don’t know if you remember this, but I am still the queen of Naboo. I have a responsibility to my people.” You decided not to tack on ‘if they are still alive.’

“Y/N,” Leia called, drawing your attention to the door.

“Excuse me,” you said, quickly walking over to her.

“I heard about your night with Lin Ral,” she said, leading you into the long hallway. You rolled your eyes and started to argue, but she cut you off. “No, I think it’s a great thing. I need you rallying people together.”

“Leia, my parents and Lin will be doing the rallying, I’m—”

“Just going to go back to Naboo? Watch from afar as balance in the galaxy is destroyed in front of your eyes? That doesn’t sound like the Y/N I know,” she said with a knowing glare.

“Any word from Black Squadron?” you asked, looking down and changing the subject.

“They’re safe. Finishing things up on Ikkrukk. Poe wants us to meet him on Yavin 4.”

“I thought we decided against Yavin 4.”

“Well, you know how stubborn Poe can be.”

“Yes, I do.”

“It’s mostly just a visit. Say hi to some old friends, pick up supplies, and pla our next move.” You gave her a skeptical look and she sighed. “I don’t know Lin. I don’t know how trustworthy he is. I know I can trust Kes Dameron.”

“So what will you tell Lin?” you asked.

“Well, we can’t afford to lose allies. We’ll continue to keep an operational base here—”

“And a secret one on Yavin-4?” Leia frowned at you.

“I don’t have much of a choice. I want to put my faith in Serenno and would gladly do it if things weren’t so dire. I’m giving him a chance. That’s the best I can do, but I can’t bet the entire Resistance on Lin Ral’s smile.”

“That’s not what this is.”

“Good,” she said with a nod.

“Who’s to know about this secret, real base, then?” you asked.

“Black Squadron, Konnix, D’Acy. Finn and Rey. The few who are left and trustworthy.”

“My parents?”

“Your parents are the senate, just as Lin Ral is.”

“So they’re left out?”

“This cannot fail, Y/N,” she said, taking your hands. “If you can’t handle that—”

“I can handle it,” you said quickly.

“Good. We leave for Yavin 4 at noon. I want you there, but if you can’t keep it from your parents and Lin . . .” she trailed off.

“I can do it. Believe me, I’ve kept plenty of secrets from them before.”

“Very good. I’ll see you then.”

#poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #sw imagine #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fanfiction #sw #sw fanfic #sw fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfic #star wars imagine #star wars fanfiction

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alwaysraineh · 5 years ago

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author interview

tagged by @little-bi-kingtrashmouth sorry it took a whole day!! this was super fun tho tysm!!

Name: rachel/rain, AlwaysRain on ao3

Fandoms: aaaaahahaha oh no this is an extensive question without meaning to be!! i’m in a lot of fandoms tho so i’ll just put down what’s currently holding my interest a lot as i try to write!! supernatural, the witcher, taz, omgcp

Where You Post: ao3!! when i post, that is. i guess i sometimes post here also??? but it’s rarer bc honestly i’m a little apprehensive of trying to write for tumblr

Most Popular One-Shot: tell me, love (how destiny is bullshit) which is actually my most recent fic as well as my first witcher fic! i’m still absolutely blown away by the outpouring of love it’s gotten and this fandom is so nice that i just can’t wait until i finish another fic or two!! (’tell me, love’ is partially geraskier and partially found family but mostly self-indulgent fix-it fic)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: according to ao3 stats (both hits and kudos) i think it looks like just breathe (i will stay) which is still a wip but i’m close to finishing it!! i have a lot of love for this fic tbh but a lot of that is because i made friends through this fic!! (its a modern au taakitz with a subplot involving the twins!)

Favorite Story You Wrote: OKAY loaded question lol but i think my favorite might be fields of gold???? i wrote it for the 2019 dcbb and its not necessarily the best thing in the world but i have a soft spot for it and one day i think i’d like to adapt it into a book (destiel apocalypse au heavy on the found family and healing old hurts)

Story You Were Nervous to Post: aahhhaha i get nervous before i post literally anything and i honestly have no clue which was worst. i’ve never posted my original fiction but that!!! is definitely what i’m most anxious about whenever i share it!!

How You Choose Your Titles: i ammmmm SO bad with titles and EVEN WORSE with summaries so generally i use song lyrics and then pester @tennisxiu for help with summaries until she’s sick of me

Complete: ha. completion isn’t exactly my strong suit but here’s a list!! (sidenote: wow some of these are.... older than i thought)

meet me halfway (taz balance, taakitz, hurt/comfort in which taako grieves lup)

fields of gold (spn, destiel, apocalypse au, dean harbors a fugitive angel)

where the lightning strikes (spn, destiel, summertime on the farm!!)

Until You (spn, destiel, prohibition and reincarnation)

The Mission (spn, gen, cas rescues dean from hell)

tell me, love (how destiny is bullshit) (the witcher, geraskier, found family and apologies)

Never Leave You (vld, shatt, major character death)

Numb (free!, makoharu, anggggssstttttt with a happy ending)(some of my earliest published work and.... hm. i’ll leave it there.)

In-complete: i don’t think i want to expose myself like that butttttt the list is surprisingly shorter than complete so i shall (i think.... two of these will get finished. the others are likely just abandoned bc dang)

just breathe (i will stay) (taz balance, taakitz, modern au, healing from trauma)

take my hand, take my whole life too (vld, shatt, matt has amnesia)

Serenading an Italian (hetalia, spamano, human au with fem!romano)

Home Is Anywhere You Are (spn, destiel, fairies au!!!)

Hunter’s Creek (spn, destiel, wild child au, fem!dean goes to boarding school)

Calm Chaos (spn, destiel, sam is in rehab with cas who is a mute pianist)

The Edge of Night (lotr, merry/pippin, college au (of sorts))

Do You Outline: lol i wish. naaahh i maybe make notes of a couple things i really want to include in a story but mostly i just go for it and slap some words on a page (i do outline my original work, to an extent, but that’s just because i really really really don’t want to lose all that)

Coming Soon/ Not Yet Started: technically????? nothing bc i have a lot of started work but none of it is coming soon

THAT SAID i have two nurseydex, two/three geraskier, one destiel, and a whole series of taz balance based in the same au as just breathe plus a chalice au featuring the twins

Do You Accept Prompts: ....... in theory. i would love to!!!!! i’m really bad at remembering to answer prompts but i really like getting them!!! so. yes!! in theory

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: hmmmmm thats difficult bc my last three braincells are playing ping pong and taking turns with which one gets to be the ball so i regularly change interest and excitement BUT i am really really excited about my nurseydex fics and the witcher just in general so yeah

i have no clue how many people i’m meant to tag so @catladymarie and then anyone who wants to do this!!! its fun! feel free to @ me as the one who tagged you, i get really excited about other people’s work!!

#tag meme #my writing #spn #taz balance #the witcher #voltron #destiel #taakitz #geraskier #shatt #spamano #nurseydex #hhhhhhhhhhhhh i need to write more and bury some of these old fics

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jellidile · 6 years ago

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Pages and Pages (Vergil, sad)

Welp, I was inspired by the goings on with the dmc diaries that have recently popped up. And apparently, Nero is very interested in his mom and Vergil’s relationship... Hopefully, it isn’t as sad as this

@nerosdailydiary and @journalofvergilsparda Why don’t y’all take a look? Maybe it isn’t what happens between the two of you, but it is fanfic for you both so it’s only right to tag you :)

Nero goes looking for a diary Vergil hid. He’s pretty sure it’ll have something about his mother in it... He gets a lot more than he bargained for.

Nero couldn’t help but laugh as he pulled a dusty book from his father’s closet. The old man had sworn off talking about his younger years, much to Nero’s displeasure. But, he had mentioned he had a diary from those days, so now, three days in, Nero couldn’t help but feel a little pride,

“Try hiding it better next time, Dad” flipping through the first pages Nero didn’t see anything of interest. Mostly just rambles about how Dante was the worst, or how he felt abandoned. Bits of poetry here and there. Until finally, he found mentions of Fortuna. Quickly Nero skimmed through until,

Day 25 in Fortuna

I met a woman today. She was… Well, she wasn’t terrible looking. She seemed harmless enough. She asked if I wanted a tour of the church, and when I asked why she was very insistent that everyone who visits Fortuna should see it. I don’t know why (it has nothing to do with my visit) but I followed her. Overall, it… was a good day.

Nero smiled wide. Skipping ahead a few pages.

Day 35 in Fortuna

She’s all that I can think about anymore. I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Today we were talking again and I, I wanted to kiss her so bad. Is it wrong for me to want to spend time with her all the time? I followed her home last night and she met with a friend of her’s… I want her to hug me the way she hugs her friends. I want to make her laugh because her laugh is so… when she laughs too hard she snorts and it’s… endearing. I’m rambling… anyways I think I’m sick. I shall continue my research into the church after I figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

Day 36

I AM MOST DEFINITELY SICK

Nero barked out a laugh. Of course, his awkward dad wouldn’t know what he was feeling. But it was also nice to know that on some level, he laughed like his mother. The diary had a few days missing but Nero was glad to see that nothing much was missing.

Day 50

I kissed her. We were sitting beside each other, and she pointed out that it was getting late… And just the way the sun was hitting her face, she just looked so… so… Gah! damn it all, there are no words! But I leaned in and kissed her… and I must be going mad because it felt so right. I-I think the best part was that she kissed back and I got to hold her. However brief that moment really was… It didn’t feel like it. Even now, sitting here, that moment felt like hours. Although… I’m ashamed to admit I left right after it was over. I hope to see her tomorrow.

Nero was amazed. He couldn’t help but smile. He would’ve never thought that his father was capable of doing anything even remotely close to making the first move. He kept reading. Most entries were now either focussed on him finding out what the church was up to or recounting a date he and Nero’s mother had been on. But one entry caught his eye,

Day 85

I love her so. Today we were talking and I… I told her that I had no family,

“I’m all alone.” I know Dante is still alive, but I doubt he would take me back. We may be twins but, I’ve changed too much. Anyways, after I said that she went,

“You aren’t alone Vergil. I care about you.” and she held me. There was a moment I paused, and I cried. I don’t she knows how much those words really meant to me. I’m even finding it hard to write here but… Those words, “you aren’t alone” it’s all that I’ve wanted to hear.

Day 86

How to tell the woman you love, you love her… I’ve been trying to come up with a way to tell her all day and I can’t seem to think of anything. Every time I want to say it the words die on my tongue. But I don’t even feel worthy of saying to her. How could I tell her that I love her? Just three words seem so… stupid. She means more to me then words can convey. My sun and moon. My world and stars. Life without her would be dull and meaningless. She somehow pulled down my walls. And I’m still at a loss as to how. Bubbly and bright. I remember wanting to make her laugh, but it’s the other way around. She makes me laugh. But her smile when I laugh… She practically glows. I came here seeking answers, but they don’t interest me when I see her. Sometimes we can just lie down holding each other, no words will pass our lips, but for hours we are content to do so. How do I tell my reason for all my joy, that she is so? I doubt it can be simply done.

Day 90

I am writing this in the morning because my princess says I won’t have any time tonight. She has a busy day planned. I think I might try to tell her how I feel. Hopefully, all goes well.

It’s night now… I got to tell her, and uh… Show her… If that’s clear enough. I’d rather not retell the details of tonight. That’s a memory I shall keep all to myself. Though looking at her now as she sleeps… I am overcome with a deep and profound want- no, need to stay with her. Power be damned. I love her.

Nero couldn’t help but stare speechlessly at the two entries. Tear’s flowed down his cheeks, he didn’t even know that they were there. But the way his father wrote so much about his mother… to go as far as, “Power be damned” yet he still wasn’t done reading the book. Only about halfway,

Flipping through the entries were now solely focused on his mother, and then there was a jump, Day 108, Day 109, Day 110, Day 130? Nero’s heart stopped,

Day 130

I’m leaving Fortuna. Alone. A few weeks ago demons came and… They attacked me, I didn’t see one, and… Why didn’t I see it? I should’ve seen it. Now she’s hurt and it’s all my fault… I-I wasn’t strong enough. I let her get hurt. I DID THAT! I COULDN’T- She isn’t safe with me around. Dante would laugh at me. Sobbing into my hands, alone. Bless her heart though,

“It’s not your fault Vergil. I’m still alive. Knowing you, it will never happen again.” she tries. But she’s too optimistic, all humans are. I should’ve known that it all would’ve come crumbling down. I’m a son of Sparda. I should’ve seen the demon, but I didn’t. And she’s hurt, and I- I don’t deserve to be with someone I can’t protect. Why does it hurt me to write this… Why… I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. I just want to protect you. I can’t I can’t lose anyone else. Especially not you. Please don’t resent me for this. Please...

Nero shook. Anything else that was written on the page was smudged. It looked as though Vergil had been crying as he wrote… Still, Nero was not done reading the journal as at least 50 pages remained. And page upon page was filled with heartbroken words. 50 pages were filled to the brim each one different yet all of them all trying to say sorry. Nero found himself particularly affected by the very last page.

If I could run back to you, love I promise I would. We were young and in love, and I can only hope that it does not mean we are dumb. But each night when I close my eyes, you are there. And it is that blessed night where we joined body and soul again, and I can hear myself saying I love you over and over. I can still hear every whispered message of love and desire. Even after all this time, I find myself drawn to the thought of you. Maybe in another life, I’m not the coward that I am today. Scared of inadvertently hurting those he loves, but it seems I’ve already done plenty of that. I’ve always been seeking power, and with you, I didn’t think I needed it. Perhaps I didn’t. Who could know?

If I could be held in your arms again, darling I’d be back in a second. Yet would you even take me as I am? On those nights where I am left plagued by nightmares, I see you again highlighted and glowing in the sunset. I feel your lips against mine and I remember every curve, I remember every inch of you. How I wish to hold you, how I wish to be held. Within your shelter, I was warm and loved. Safe from the nightmare’s of losses long ago. But even so, could you hold me? Hold the man who loved you so much he left? Who could know?

If I could lie with you and talk like we would always do, princess, there would be no other place I would wish to be. So many if’s wander through my tortured mind, and so many are met with the scared ramblings of a man deeply scarred and bitter. But, how I adored your laugh and your smile. Oh, I can still recall every time I let my eyes wander, only to find them locked with yours. How I worshipped you, and love I meant every word of passion I ever said. But do you still love me I wonder? Do you still think back to those days of bright joy, and look fondly upon my memory? Do you love me? Ah, who could know?

As Nero stopped reading he shuddered out a sigh. Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders. Nero jumped but was held in place. Vergil spoke mournfully as he placed his head on Nero’s shoulder,

“I’m sorry I left you and your mother. I left you both all alone.” Nero wanted to say something but he could only wiggle around and hug his father back. Vergil’s grip tightened on his son as he silently sobbed,

“I’m so sorry Nero…”

“It’s okay Dad.”

We aren’t alone anymore.

#dmc #dmc5 #dmc nero #dmc vergil #vergil sparda #nero sparda #devil may cry #angst #fanfic

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excusemysaltiness · 6 years ago

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Warriors

Loki x Valkyrie! Reader || Part 1

Summary: Months have passed since the events of Ragnarök and the Asgardians have made an island in Norway their new kingdom. Thor, the new ruler of Asgard, is struggling to keep the Nine Realms intact. He needs more warriors to protect the Realms and Brunnhilde knows exactly where to find them.

(Infinity War doesn’t happen... yet)

A/N: Here’s a fic that absolutely no one asked for. Hope you like it. Comment below if you want to be tagged for this series :))

The King of Asgard sets down into his throne and lets out an exasperated sigh. The past few months have been very rough for him and his people. His father had passed away making him the new ruler, the prophecy of Ragnaörk had been fulfilled, destroying Asgard in the process, and the Nine Realms were currently defenceless. Majority of Asgards warriors had been slaughtered by the merciless goddess of death and now only six troops remain. Although many young boys and girls are currently in training, there are simply not enough soldiers to protect their vast population. And now that they reside in another realm, they are at even more risk of danger.

"King Thor, Lady Brunnhilde wishes to speak with you."

The god of thunder groggily lifts his head from the headrest of the throne and nods at the guard.

"Send her in." He answers.

Within a few moments, the large golden doors of the throne room open revealing the Valkyrie, the Gatekeeper and the God of Mischief. They approach the king of Asgard with a sense of urgency in their pace. Intrigued by their unexpected visit, Thor rises from his throne and meets them halfway.

"I hope you've come here to tell me good news. I am in desperate need of it."

Loki chuckles as he takes in his brothers worn out appearance. Clearly, his responsibilities as king are depriving him of rest.

"It's not as easy as it seems now is it, brother?" He chides.

Thor glares at his younger brother before turning to Brunnhilde, ignoring his presence.

"What is it you all wish to tell me?" He asks them hopefully.

The Valkryie's eyes rise from the ground and she reluctantly speaks.

"I know some people who might be able to help us. They should be able to restore the Realms back to its natural state."

"And who might these people be?" Questions the king. "If you had known of a solution to our crisis, why had you not shared it sooner?"

"She wasn't sure at the time," Explains Heimdall. "We're still not entirely sure if they will assist us though, my king."

"They will assist us. It is their duty to serve the throne until their dying breath."

Brunnhilde turns to Loki, swiftly unsheathes her Dragonfang sword and holds it dangerously close to his throat.

"I've told you already," She growls through gritted teeth. "Their service was terminated millennia ago by Odin. They serve no one now. Not even me."

The king quickly separates the two before their argument can escalate. Yet, he is still confused as to who they are referring to.

"Would someone tell me already of who it is we are talking about!" Booms Thor's voice. He is very tired, in desperate need of sleep, and frustrated. His brother and his friends are keeping him in the dark which he does not appreciate. He looks to Brunnhilde once again but she is hesitant to speak. Something very unusual of her.

"Well then, who is it that you speak of?"

"The Valkyrior."

The waves crash into the cliffside metres below you, splashing water onto your bare feet. The feeling of the cool water on your skin is refreshing and soothes your thoughts as you watch the sun disappear over the horizon. The evening sky is a pinkish orange hue and in parts where it is darker, stars reveal themselves one by one. The sight is captivating. Moving. But at the same time, it makes you feel miserable.

"Thrúd informed me of your absence at training this morning."

Your eyes remain forward, trained on the setting sun. Yet your body grows stiff.

"Did she tell you anything else?"

Your mother looks at you disappointedly and you feel her gaze bore into the back of your head.

"She also told me that you haven't been attending for the last two weeks."

Sigrún waits for a reply but ultimately receives nothing but silence. She can sense that something is wrong. She sits beside you on the edge of the cliff and looks to you benevolently, even though you continue to stare at the horizon.

"Dóttir, what is troubling you?" She tucks away some loose strands of hair behind your ear. "This behaviour of yours isn't like you, Y/N. I thought you loved to train."

"I do. I love fighting... "

"But?"

"There is no point in training. I may train each and every day, from dawn until dusk, but nothing but muscle will be gained. Our purpose is to protect the Realms and fight their battles."

"Protecting the Realms was our purpose. But now, that responsibility is in the hands of the Asgardians. Now, we-"

"Now all we do is collect the souls of the ill-fated, mother! They are fighting our battles and they are losing them! They are in desperate need of our help!"

Although your mother didn't want to admit it, she knew that you were right. A few months ago, many Asgardian warriors were slain. The horrifying sight of the mass of lifeless bodies laying on the grounds of Asgard still haunts your mind. You remember the putrid stench of the corpses but most of all, you remember the lost look on the warriors' faces. Their souls hung over their bodies awaiting their transcendence to the next life. Your sisters had quickly worked their way through the crowds, granting each fallen warrior their entry into Valhalla. While the unfortunate few, whose souls were deranged with sin, were sent to Hel.

You reach your hand out to an Asgardian soldier, resting it lightly on his shoulder. Your hand immediately glows a warm bright yellow and flashes of his life play in your mind. He is a very caring man, driven not only by his sword but also by his heart.

"Hadwin Geirson, the halls of Valhalla await your presence."

You smile at the soldier but he has still not yet faced you. He is hunched over his dead body, holding its left hand. You peek over his shoulder, curious as to why he is still afflicted, and your smile disappears. On the fourth finger of his corpses' hand is a golden ring. You kneel beside the spirit and look to him sympathetically as he continues to cry.

"I can't leave," He weeps. "My wife... She is carrying a child. Our child. I can't leave them all alone. I can't indulge in the riches of Valhalla knowing that they're in danger."

The soldier cries uncontrollably, begging you and the Norns for a second chance at life. You dismally tell him that you are unable to revive him from death and that he may only ascend to Valhalla or diminish into nothing. His wailing attracts the attention of other spirits and Valkyries. You avert your gaze from the downhearted soldier to the ocean of deceased bodies. How many of them have loved ones waiting for them? You think of the poor mothers, fathers, lovers and children that will mourn them.

"Valkryie," You turn to face the spirit. His eyes are red and puffy from crying, he looks miserable. "Are my family safe?"

"Yes, the Gatekeeper has led them and the people of Asgard to safety. A place where Hela shall not find them."

"What of the princes? Are they on their way?"

You look despondently at the soldier and his optimism quickly fades.

"I... I don't know where they are. They were last seen on Midgard but they disappeared shortly after."

The spirit looks up to the golden palace. The sight no longer enchants him. He glares at the grand structure, clenching his fists tightly. A great evil is upon them but their leader, their so-called protector, has abandoned them.

"Valkyrie,"

"Yes."

"Please, protect my family. Watch over them for me."

You look at him unsteadily, unsure if how to answer his final wish.

"I will." You lie. "No matter what happens, they will remain safe."

The soldier smiles at your response and you feel a pang of guilt. The spirit slowly shifts into ethereal specks of golden lights and rises upwards, destined for Valhalla.

You look up to the mountains in the distance where the people of Asgard take refuge. Where the soldiers' family waits. You hopelessly watch Hela's undead soldiers round up the remaining Asgardians, the unfortunate few who couldn't escape. You turn away from the disturbing scene and continue to assess the spirits. All that you can do now is hope that the soldiers' family remain unharmed.

"You wish to fight for the Nine Realms?"

"Yes, I do."

"Spilling blood will not give you purpose, Y/N. Besides, you are already a warrior."

You scoff at your mothers' words and shake your head dejectedly. She doesn't understand the emptiness you feel. You pull your hand away from hers and make your leave.

"Don't you see, mother? I am a warrior without a war, I have no meaning."

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muses-darling · 5 years ago

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Fire & Fury - A Star Wars AU - Ch.8 Engineer

Tracing his pen across the screen watching the display come to life as line after line met his design coming to life. Prototypes of various inventions littered the shelves of his office a partially drunk very cold mug of caf sat undisturbed. Humming as he sketched he brushed a lock of ginger hair from his face. So far today had been less than exciting but that was perhaps the best for productivity? He pushed back from the desk stretching standing feeling his joints move into place after being sedentary for so long. His muscles remembered what moving felt like with pain. He really ought to move more often. His stomach growled again and he knew why he had gotten up, a brain thought better with food in the belly. He also needed more caf, opening the door of his office he noticed nothing out of the ordinary till a realization that the whole facility had gone eerily quiet like the dead. Peering around gave him no insight, he boarded the lift tapping the buttons and giving a imput of his code cylinder he made his way down to the kitchens. Halfway through the lift flickered then came to an abrupt stop.

A glow of heated metal came through the lift door just a small part that almost as if by cutting continued in a circle before the force pulled the whole chunk away revealing a trio of what looked to be Sith.

“No- no NO!” He threw the cup of cold caf at them watching it freeze in the air and shatter as one stopped it.

“Hello Casper.” Darth Ceres smiled her hood concealing all but her mouth of her face. “We need someone of your expertise.”

________________________________________________________________

“I do not believe it is wise to go all the way to the Chorlian system,” Will said from where he stood at the center of the Senate floor. “Meeting the Sith on their doorstep. Is foolishness, it is genocide of our troops. What hope of victory can we possibly bring? We have not experienced an attack from the Sith in quite some time. To mount an attack after this peace we have seemingly felt is to incur their wrath.”

“Ah like the planet you serve Senator always looking for the peace where there is none.” A Senator mocked him.

Will turned, “I agree that the peace is only temporary, we should use it to give aid where it is needed. Rebuild, was Coruscant not just a mere few months ago under siege? What rebuilding effort have we made since? There are people on not just this planet but many others who cry out for help and we offer no aid when we can?”

“We are spread too thin besides now may be the most opportune moment to bring about the peace we seek by striking a blow on the Sith while their guard is down.”

“I tell you their guard is not down.” Will glared at them.

“What do you know of their guard Senator? What do you know of the Sith?” The Chancellor asked him.

“I-”

“Precisely, this attack is advised by the Jedi even, they too want this war done and over with. If we crumble this wall we will end this before long peace will be at hand and we can do as you suggest Senator.” The Chancellor told him.

Will wanted nothing more than to give them all a taste of his mind but he had the people to think about. “Then I move that when this is over that we focus our efforts to rebuilding the Republic.”

“I second,” The Senator of Alderaan said.

Will looked to Adrienne and smiled, she was always on his side.

“Then we put it to a vote.” The Chancellor said.

The vote of course went to the affirmative but only for appearance sake. They would squabble and nothing would come of it. Will moved through the crowd feeling Adrienne touch his arm.

“A moment?”

Will looked to her, “Of course.”

“I will be helping hand out rations today and wondered if you would join me? Perhaps if the people see that there are at least some Senators who care they won’t feel as abandoned?”

“You say Senators like there will be more than the two of us?”

“The Senator of Chandrilla and the Senator of Hapes Consortium will be joining as well.”

Will nodded. “I’ll see what I can do besides helping pass out rations, I’m sure there are some clothes and blankets to be found.”

“That would be marvelous.” Adrienne smiled warmly. “How is the Queen?”

“Jane- Queen Ev’lyn is quite healthy.”

“And the pregnancy?” She asked quieter.

“Our children were born without any problems. I get to see them when I make communications to Naboo.” Will smiled pulling out a small disk of a Holo photo showing twins who were at least six months old.

“How precious.” Adrienne smiled.

“My daughter has a variation of your middle name for hers.”

“Rosaline?”

“Rosemary.” Will smiled. “Her first name is Katherine.”

“And your son?”

“Abra’ham Fitzwilliam,” Will grinned.

“Oh Will that is so sweet.”

________________________________________________________________

Hades was not the only one to tag Kit with some form of tracking, Crowley had done the same but with the force. Following it’s signature to the planet of Eadu the wild storms that ravaged the planet fit well with the current state of Crowley’s nerves. “Stay here,” He told Ben and Harper. “Guard the ship, guard Jules.”

“But-” Ben started before Aziraphale fixed him with a look. “We don’t know what is out there and we don’t know who has Kit, right now we need you both here with Juliet.”

Crowley and Aziraphale moved silently and stealthily along the path curving through the cliff side. Rocks fell from the path way to the chasm below but neither one noticed their focus was elsewhere, elsewhere and keeping them from joining those rocks to smash upon their likeness far below. Lightning illuminated their way as they moved from one stretch of the path to the other. The path opened up revealing a research facility.

Entering in as quiet as possible they made their way through the dimly lit building the silence broken by the thunder and nothing else. A console before them held security footage. “Angel guard me while I have a look.”

Aziraphale wanted to protest but knew there had to be a reason for Crowley keeping him from looking. Crowley was always good at knowing these things.

Fingers flashed upon buttons and the screen till Crowley froze his face gave nothing away but his eyes they betrayed him first.

“Crowley?” Azirphale asked his eyes looking to Crowley.

Crowley looked up, “Aziraphale...”

It was all he had to say, his face now gave everything away. From the way that his lips twinged in sadness, to the way his eyes moved between what they saw on the screen to Aziraphale. The little head shake of disbelief, the tremble of lips that told Azirphale that what Crowley was feeling was strong so strong it swept the mask of calm away.

Aziraphale moved to see the screen but Crowley pressed a button blackening the screen.Things moved slowly, “We missed him.” He said to Aziraphale. “We missed him!” Crowley stood up only for the weight of what he had seen. Aziraphale to catch him.

Aziraphale knew what he was going to see wasn’t going to sit well with him but seeing Crowley like this he had too. Curious Angel, he tapped a button watching as Kit stood before a cowering man only to cut him down, the audio wasn’t there but anyone could see the man had pleaded before Kit slew him. Kit walked up to the camera blood covering his face grinning with terrible Sith eyes then the feed cut out. Azirphale heard Crowley sobbing in his arms as his own tears fell into the forest of ginger hair that grew from his husband’s head. “Oh Kit.” What could have happened to him? What could have turned him? They had trained him so well!

The door came skittering off the hinges stopping at just before them as a sleek bronze colored droid entered. “Greetings: Hello Meatbags! I have come for my master.”

Aziraphale frowned at the odd droid before moving from Crowley towards the strange droid. He grabbed the blaster yanking it away from blasting him and reaching behind he knew the model well, he had read about them and with a flick the droid powered down.

When it powered back up HK-47 looked up from his powered down state. “Greetings: Salutations organic, might I be made aware of where my Master has gone? My last readings sense he was here. Have you seen him?”

“Most peculiar,” Aziraphale said studying him. “Kit never mentioned you.”

“I have had many masters.”

“And who is your creator?”

“Statement: Why Hades better known as Lord Ignis.” HK-47 said.

“I think I preferred him slightly more homicidal.”

“Oh hush,” Azirphale waved Crowley’s suggestion away. “I think he is more charming this way.”

“Agreement: But I cannot fathom hurting organics such as you in my current state I love all organics with every fiber of my wiring.” HK-47 said to Crowley. “Charm is not in my programming originally but I am adaptable.”

“Excellent!” Aziraphale smiled. “Do you have a ship?”

“Answer: No mine was destroyed upon getting here.”

“Then you shall have to come aboard ours.”

“OURS!?” Crowley said standing up. “I’ll have you know that is very much my ship!”

Azirphale fixed Crowley with a look.

Crowley crossed his arms. “And just what do you think that I’m going to let it anywhere near Juliet?”

“Do you want to find Kit?”

“Yes.” Crowley said as if it were obvious before looking at the Droid who had said yes in unison with him.

“Then I suppose unless you have any better ideas you just let me adopt the robot for the time being.”

“Droid Azirphale no one calls them robots.”

Aziraphale smiled a smile that told you that he knew he had won before walking back to the ship.

Hk-47 followed Azirphale complimenting him on his ability to out maneuver the droid in close combat.

Aziraphale returned the compliment with one about the droid standing up to two jedi.

This was followed by HK-47 making a comment about killing jedi with no problem.

Azirphale chose to treat this like a joke patted the droid on the arm and told him that it was refreshing to hear someone who had a sense of humor.

Crowley both loved that smug expression and wanted to kiss it off of that cherubic face. Watching the two leave and getting along like old friends was an odd sight to anyone who didn’t know Azirphale who saw the best in anyone. Crowley looked back at the console a shudder. Looking back at his husband and the droid in the distance with an exasperated sigh Crowley threw up his hands following after both too his ship mouthing, ‘unless you have any better ideas.’ Followed by, ‘I’ll show you a better idea.’

#Ch.8 Fire and Fury #SeaCoastCity SWAU #TW: Violence

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ikonislife · 6 years ago

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Kitten Love.

-Hanbin x Bobby, Double B

-Never in a million years would Hanbin have thought adopting a little cat would change his life tremendously in all the wonderful way it had. He definitely didn’t think that the little furry baby could’ve too change his love life by leading him to a chance encounter... one that perhaps much more than just the handsome man it offered.

-A/n: No one asked for this, but I did it anyways because I need it (:

Also I abandoned writing my speech halfway because I had a sudden thrust of inspiration to write this so I hope you enjoy (:

Inspired by post above (Post Cr.)

“Hello.” Hanbin barked over the greasy screen of his phone as he fumbled with the laces of his shoes, perhaps much too curt, definitely not deserving by whomever possessed the unknown number. What in the world compelled him to pick up an unknown number call was perhaps a greater mystery than what the intention of the caller was. Hanbin never, ever, never meant every bit of it, never pick up calls from numbers he without a name attached to it.

“Hello. Is this Hanbin?” The voice raspy yet sweet, a combination that left a chill shimmering down his spine as the sultry sound reverberating through the silent space of his room. For a second Hanbin gasped audibly, suddenly vacated of all the beautiful words he had learned in the last twenty something years of his life. His lungs too felt as though the mystery caller had shipped him to outer space, airless and dreamy.

“Speaking... How did you get my number” He questioned with a bit of anticipation, bit of hesitation, and lots of worries running through his mind at the thought of a strange man breaking into his home and that he’d be the headline of tomorrow’s newspaper - “Man, 23, Died of Unnatural Causes.”

“Are you perchance, the owner of a little calico kitty named Ollie? Your cat gave me your number.”

Y-Yes...” Okay, definitely getting murder tonight by a man with the pretty voice. Hanbin thought as he mouthed gently an ‘Oh My God’ before drawing up enough courage to ask one more question. “Wh-who’s asking?” If he was going to die, at least he’ll know the name of the murderer and won’t be one of those limbo ghost unable to move on.

“I’m Bobby!” The voice answered cheerily, something Hanbin thought as weird because he hadn’t met too many murderer with personality of the sun. “I live in unit 30A. I noticed he got a little tag provided by the apartment office, which meant he’s here legally.” By the end of his sentence, Hanbin could hear Bobby’s voice distant as if he had forgotten the phone call was still happening, cooing to probably Ollie - “You live here, don’t you. Cutie. Why are you wandering in my yard.”

B-Bobby?”

“Oh, sorry.” The most delightfully strange chuckle echoed through the speaker of his phone and once more hanbin found himself floored, not even caring how Bobby look at this point as he did the first moment that voice met his ears. He had been dreaming in his mind, well aside from the murdering bit, just who this intoxicating voice could’ve belong to. “He’s rubbing his head on my leg.”

“Strange, usually shy around people he doesn’t know.” Hanbin mused dumbly, recalling the many times he had to fish Ollie out from under his bed when he had companies over.

“Oh, I must be lucky. Anyways, I just wanted to know if he just like to wander into people’s yard or he’s lost.”

“We take walk every evening, usually don’t wander too far... Few units down then come right back.” Hanbin debated on whether he really should just let Ollie find his way home like he usually does when he realized Hanbin isn’t right behind him or... “He ran out when I was putting on my shoes. Didn’t get his walk in last night, bit more antsy to walk than normal, I guess.” He continued out the door, slamming it perhaps a bit too loud on purpose just so Bobby could hear. “If it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe, keep him there? I’m literally running out the door right now.”

“Of course! I’d do anything to play with him some more. We’re both chilling here in front of my gate. So look for 30A” A little laugh vibrated through the speaker and Hanbin found himself chuckling along as he ran down the little walkway. Didn’t take long for him to reach the 30 block, eyes searching intently for the sign of his little cat and the mystery man.

“Hanbin!” The voice called out, even sweeter now with a touch of warmth that couldn’t be convey through machines, drawing his attention toward a tall man, soft blond hair peeking from under a baseball cap dark as a moonless night. Draping over his broad shoulders, a camouflage colored jacket perhaps a bit too big for his body and for reasons unknown, Hanbin felt tiny pins pricking at his heart. His smile better than any Hanbin’ve ever seen before, excitement worn precariously on his plump lips.

“Hey, Bobby.” He addressed the man with jawlines sharper than any edge he’d ever seen, bony structures and defined features only added to how handsome Bobby was. “Little brat, I’m busy for one night and you’re already out looking for new owner?” Hanbin turned his attention to the little happy furry baby, delighted to see his owner, before he could creep the stranger out by ogling.

“Well, I’ll be glad to babysit and walk you anytime your cute owner is too busy to walk you.” Bobby bit out softly and Hanbin nearly fainted. He thought Hanbin was cute? A little teasing smile on his lips as Bobby peered back up, flashing his pearly white at the dumbfounded man. Yet just as fast as that had happened, Bobby was back to crouching over the kitty, petting and scratching the soft fur.

“I’m so sorry to bother. He usually isn’t like this.” Probably just being friendly, Hanbin thought of the little compliment. Best to not dwell on something that might get his hope up.

“I’m glad he’s like this today then.” Bobby enunciated a bit, the cat snuggly held in his arms as he stood up to face Hanbin once more. “What are you two got going on tonight?” Still enthralled in the adorable kitty, Bobby spoke with a tinge of cute to his voice, completely unaware of the effects he had on Hanbin’s heart.

“We were going to walk to that restaurant down the street, you know the one with the patio. They let pets in their outside seating so we go there often. Food’s pretty great.” He explained gently, forgetting for a moment that he knew nothing of the man in front of him as he reached out a hand to scratch Ollie under his chin, letting his fingers ghosting over Bobby’s rough ones. “You?”

“Bout to head out to dinner, not sure where though.”

“W-Wanna come with us?” Hanbin mustered up all the courage he had been building up for the last decade or so of his life for times like these and asked, but not without a bit of correction. “Just, I’ll treat you, for this little asshole bothering you. And a thank you too, I guess. Not many people would really bother with checking to see if he’s lost.”

“Wow, cute and generous.” Bobby muttered under his breath, finding Hanbin far too cute, although a bit forgetful. “If you don’t mind my intrusion, of course.” He said a bit louder this time, letting a struggling Ollie onto the ground and watched as Hanbin clipped on his leash.

“Shall we?” Hanbin asked, handing the little leash to a delighted Bobby before they walk shoulder to shoulder down the darkening path. There was a strange sense of blissfuly familiar washing over the pair but Hanbin couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. So he stayed silent, basking in the cool air of an autumn night and Bobby’s little giggle whenever Ollie did something cute. Wasn’t long before they were situated over pipping hot food and Ollie, sprawling out on the floor, captivated by his own food. The conversation started with how long they had been at the apartment and continued well into life dream and perhaps by Bobby’s design, their love life... Well, Hanbin’s love life.

“You’re saying you’ve been single for like 3 years?” Bobby questioned incredulously, “How?”

“Well, it’s not for lack of trying. I can tell you that much.” Hanbin replied softly, fingers picking at the fries on Bobby’s plate. “Just, things started out great then just fizzled. It either that they were more into fucking than a relationship, or just differences of minds. After a couple of tries, I just-” A shiver ran down Hanbin’s spine and suddenly he regretted rushing out the door without a jacket. “I just kinda give up.” His voice droned out in confusion, surmising what was Bobby doing getting up from his seat.

“Here, you’re cold.” Bobby interrupted suddenly, jacket shedding from his body as he rounded the table to wrap it over the shiver man.

“Oh, it’s okay. You’re gonna be cold.” Hanbin frantically explained, though he wasn’t doing much to reject Bobby’s hand lingering over his shoulders.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t get cold, plus, long sleeves. See!” Bobby tugged at the length of his very well fitted thermal, far too well fitted by the little choke Hanbin had just gasped out.

“But won’t whoever the owner of the jacket is mind?” Hanbin hinted, praying that the answer wasn’t that Bobby’s boyfriend is a slob and doesn’t give a shit who Bobby gives his clothes to.

“What are you talking about?” Bobby looked as if Hanbin had just spoke French and grew three heads while stealing a spoon full of soup from Hanbin’s bowl.

“Oh, I just assumed it was your boyfriend’s clothes or something... It looked pretty big on you.” He chuckled awkwardly to cover up the fact that he was prying, that he was mortified by the clumsy attempt instead of just asking Bobby.

“You’re bit dense, aren’t you. On top of forgetful too.”

“I’m what?” It was Hanbin’s turn to be confused.

“I’ve been flirting with you the second I saw you, and you still think I have a boyfriend? No, Binnie, I just like wearing baggy clothes.” Bobby quipped, shooting a kittenish smile Hanbin’s way.

“Oh!” Hanbin exclaimed, feigning ignorant as if he didn’t corner Bobby into a confession without giving his last bit of reservation away. “Well then.” A smug grin on his lips as his fingers tugging the jacket drowned in Bobby and fresh pine tighter over his body. “But why am I forgetful?”

“You still haven’t figure out who I am, Kim Jiwon, Bobby, bunny teeth...” Bobby listed as if each of those thing suppose to mean something to Hanbin. “God, you’re slow. I went to your school for a year, you were in 11th grade, I was 12th?” There was a bit of light breaking over Hanbin’s handsome features yet for the most part, seemed as though he was still very much in the dark. “We were inseparable, Hanbin. Honestly I’m a little sad.” He retorted with a disappointing wave of his hand as if telling Hanbin to stop steam rolling his brain to figure out who Bobby was.

“Kimbap!” guilt was wrecking his heart for not recognizing his Kimbap sooner, more so now that the adorable pout was forming on Bobby’s lips.

“Of course that’s the first thing you think of.” Bobby chuckled a bit, little bit embarrassed that out of all the thing for the younger man to remember, it was that stupid nickname. Yet, there’s no denying the happiness rising in his heart that he was remember.

“Should I call you Pooh, then?” Hanbin quipped, unprecedented sense of contentment brought on by nostalgia sending his heart into overdrive. How could he have not realized who Bobby was, how foolish of him. He thought of Bobby, or as he had known him then, Jiwon often. The lingering feeling of a crush never revealed, the bitterness as he stood watching from the distant as Jiwon’s disappearing figure at the airport signified that a wonderful chapter of his life was over. He was naive then, young and dumb and hadn’t realize what his heart really wanted... Then it was too late.

“Who could’ve predicted that you would be on the other side of the phone. I was shocked when you jogged your way toward me.” Bobby mused softly, hand delicately reaching to spread warm over Hanbin’s cold one. “I keep thinking, no, it couldn’t be...”

“It is...” Hanbin finished the thought Bobby was too lost in those beautiful eyes to finish. “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. It’s been years and I guess in my mind, you were still Jiwonie hyung... Not this cool, suave guy that got my head spinning.” His other hand cupping over Bobby’s, basking in the gentleness of the moment leaving the older boy leaning forward in anticipation.

“Hey, i was cool back then!” Bobby protested but it muffled out into a content moan as Hanbin placed his lips over his plump chapped one, conjuring all the unspoken words and hidden feeling of the past in his bet of a lifetime.

“I know you were. Why did you think I followed you around like a lost puppy all the time.�� His 16 years old self reached up from inside his heart with all the awkward shyness and timid words he had always wanted to tell Jiwon but couldn’t. His cheeks flushed from what he had just done, watching the contentment spreading over Bobby’s lips.

“You’ll be the death of me, I swear.” Bobby rested his forehead on Hanbin’s, hands still clutching tightly as if he was to let go, Hanbin would disappear from his life again. “There’s so much I wanted to tell you.”

“Then how come you left without saying anything? I knew that you realized I was there at the airport watching, but you just left?” Hanbin uttered painfully but rather than letting go of the older man’s hands, he only clutched on tighter.

“I knew it wouldn’t work, that the distant would get us. I’d rather remember you as you were than the pain of a heartbreak. Puppy love and distant... That was a combination I think we would’ve lose out on.” Before either of them could shed tears of the past, Ollie’s little meow reminded them of the world still revolving despite time seemingly paused for them. Bobby stood up first, before offering a hand to Hanbin, pulling him up right into his toned chest. “Let’s continue this somewhere more private and warm, hmm?” The words like a spell falling from Bobby’s lips as his hand pulled tighter the jacket around Hanbin’s shoulders.

“I’d like that.” Ollie’s leash snugged in Hanbin’s grip and Bobby’s large hand tight over his, not wanting to let go even if just momentarily to pay for their amazing meal. Somewhere down the darken path illuminated only by the golden glow of the street lamp, Hanbin had ducked under Bobby’s possessive hold around his shoulders. “Are we moving too fast?” Hanbin questioned not out of concern that he was making a big mistake. Rather, if moving to fast meant he’d lose Bobby just as he did with all the relationship that had fizzled out to nothing, Hanbin’d much rather take all the time in the world. “I don’t want history, my history to repeat itself.”

“Hmm, I don’t think so. We got history, not as if we don’t know each other at all.” Bobby placed a soft kiss on Hanbin’s cheek, “And I have like a decade or so worth of fantasies I need to act out on so...”

“WHAT?!” Hanbin surprise yelp got Ollie screaming along in fear leaving Bobby hunching over in a big laugh.

“I’m- Oh God, I’m kidding.” Wiping a tear falling from the corner of his eyes, Bobby peered up at Hanbin who looked as if he had just seen a ghost, hand clutching over his heart. Bobby finally straighten himself up with a few apology, and once more Hanbin snugged under his arm. “Or am i?” Bobby whispered softly in the younger boy’s ear, and watched as steam and a bright red glow crept upon his cheeks. Earned too was an elbow to his side as more apology fell from Bobby’s lips. “Who needs puppy love when we got kitten love, right?” Bobby mused out dreamily as Hanbin leaned up to place a kiss on his lips. The two continued down the darken path, huddling close with the little kitty that had rekindled their puppy love from so long ago happily sauntering in front of them...

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writingkeepsmewhole · 6 years ago

Text

Buried

Okay first thing I want to apologize for not posting. My computer didn’t want to load the internet but today it wants to work so expect a few fics today. I've still been writing but couldn't edit them to post them. But enough about me unto the fun stuff.

This is the 11th part of A Touch. I’m shocked it has the meany parts honestly haha. This is a longer one it’s almost 5000 words. Don’t ask haha. Anyways... Reader goes on a run with Negan to an abandoned school where they get trapped in a storage room.

Negan X Reader

Warnings: Language. Mention of abortion. Rape mention.

Let me know if you want to be tagged. @dead-head-joker @cryiner @collette04 @catlovescats02-blog @blumenkind72 @frozenhuntress67

Part 1 Part 10

I woke up to feeling sore but rested. Like it was the first time I slept in days. I smile to myself realizing it was. Turning my head I was not shocked to find the bed empty. Negan not the one for cuddling.

‘Why would he cuddle me anyways?’ I ask myself sitting up.

Still feeling a bit dizzy I closed my eyes to keep the room from spinning. I opened them as soon as I heard the door open.

Tanya stood there with a basket full of something. I couldn’t tell because it was covered by a cloth.

“Oh, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” She says looking shocked.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t meant to be here.” I say standing up and moving to the door.

“Is Negan here? We were meant to have breakfast together.”

“Honestly I don’t know where he is. I just woke up. Feel free to look around. You are his wife after all.” I say moving around her.

Before I could walk away she grabs my arm stopping me in the hallway.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” I say the smell of something sweet filling my nose. Most likely whatever was in her basket.

“Are you sleeping with Negan? I mean it’s fine if you are, I just wonder why you can stay in his room and the rest of us can’t.”

“No. I’m not sleeping with him and has for sleeping in his room. I don’t know. Never bothered to ask.” I say knowing I would most likely wouldn't like the answer.

“Oh okay. Well I’ll let you go. Tell Negan I’m waiting for him if you see him.”

“Will do.” I say smiling at her and walking away realizing that’s the first time I held a conversation with one of Negan’s wives. Also realizing that’s the longest conversation I have had with anyone without feeling hollow.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and move towards my room to change clothes. I decided on a shower as well.

I was halfway to the showers when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty room. I couldn't scream because of the hand on my mouth.

“Scream and see what happens.” Says the voice that has haunted me for the past few days. I could feel the stab of something digging into my lower stomach.

I nodded as a response having no intentions of screaming. I wanted away from Mark as soon as possible.

“Now I want you to listen very carefully. Understand?” He asks removing his hand from my mouth.

When I didn’t say anything he dug the knife into my stomach enough to make it sting.

“Yes.” I gasp out.

“Good. Now I want you to do something for me. If you do it. I’ll make sure you get back to your group and we’ll never see each other every again.” He whimpers his hot breath on my ear and neck making my heart race with fear.

“What is it?” I ask my voice shaking.

“Negan is going to take you on a trip today while you are gone I want you to make sure he doesn't come back.”

“How-.” I stop talking when he grabs my hair yanking my head back.

“I told you to listen not talk.” He says glaring down at me.

“I’m going to give you my little friend here to help you out.” He says dragging the blade across my stomach making me whimper.

“I don’t care how you do it. Use your imagination. Just make sure Negan dies today. If not well lets just say you won’t like when I decided to hurt someone.” He says smirking down at me.

“Understand?”

I nod feeling like I was about to pass out.

“Good. Make me proud.” He says kissing me roughly while putting the knife in my pocket.

In a matter of minutes I was threatened, assaulted and left alone.

I stepped out of the room a while after Mark left. My heart was racing but I could feel myself start to shut down again.

Feeling the knife in my pocket I tired to think about what I was going to do. If I killed Negan it would be a all out war. If I didn't Mark would do something to someone I cared about or even myself.

I walked to the showers thoughts filling my head.

Even though I know that this should be easy. Negan was the enemy right? The bad guy the villain of this story. I've killed for a lot less.

Even trying to talk myself into doing it, to get close and end it, I was pulling away from the idea. My chest hurting along with my head. Every time I thought of killing him it felt wrong. My mind going to the nights spent in his room. To the gentle way he would pull my face up and make me look at him. To his bellowing laugh and the way I felt happier around him.

I decided to do nothing for now. That I might not even see Negan today. My pleas were ignored when I stepped outside to hang clothes. There leaning on the table bat in hand stood Negan In all his glory.

"There you are angel. I was wondering when you were ever gonna show up." he says grinning and strolling up to me.

"Why?" I ask clearing my throat when my voice cracked.

"Well we are going on a road trip remember?" he says smirking.

"Oh I forgot."

"Forgot? Well I'll be sure to make you remember it at least."

"What are we going to do?"

"That's for me to know." he say winking.

"Come on we're burning daylight." he says walking around me and towards the building.

When he realizes I'm not following him he spins around to face me.

"What the hell is the hold up?" he asks twirling Lucile around his hand

"I don't want to go." I say not wanting to tell Negan. I've already gotten one of his men killed I don't want to do it again.

"Why the fuck not? " he asks walking back to me.

I answer him with a shrug realizing that I'm too nervous to lie to him. I curse at myself knowing I'm not normally like this.

"Well shit. You are going anyway." he says leaning to the side a bit.

Swallowing I nod my teeth digging into my lip.

Once again I find myself alone with Negan a chance to harm him. Instead I sat still as he tied a blindfold over my eyes blocking out the world and locking me in my thoughts.

I could hear the truck start and the rumble as we started down the street.

Hearing a scratching noise i turned my head towards the sound.

"i gotta shave this shit." Negan mumbles to himself. I stay silent letting it pull me into my head.

My heart was racing telling me to run. I didn't want to be here didn't want to drive towards my choice.

By the end of they day i would either become a murderer or i would become the victim.

I almost laughed at the thought. I was already a murderer. Nicks face in my minds eye.

Feeling a hand on my knee i jump jerking away quickly as my heart pounds.

"Relax darling. Just taking a drive." negan says chuckling softly

I sit still trying to look normal. I realize how tense i am. The tightness in my shoulders telling me that. Lean back on the truck bench and take a breath.

I could feel the truck rattle as we cross a bridge. The smell and sound of the creek under us calming me a bit. I take a deep breath resting my head on the window. I never thought I'd see the day where Negan was this silent but i welcomed the silence.

I felt my mind drift into the darkness, the feel of Marks knife digging into me making me jump. It reminded me of the feel of the serrated blade digging into my back as the governor touched me. Every time i moved it would cut into my skin leaving faded scars. The governor's face and hands replaced for Nick's him pinning me to the wall. The feel of the rough brick digging into face. I screamed for help but my voice wouldn't work. I tried to move fight back but I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen my limbs were too heavy to move.

Turn my face away from Nick i looked out the window seeing someone standing there. It was to dark to see who but i tried to scream for help. It took me countless tries to get out just a small whimper. The person slapped the glass making a light shine from above them. I know why i didn't recognize them at first. It was Negan but he was covered in blood. His face bruised and broken. I tried to reach for him but large hands stopped me. I looked up to see the governor smirking down at me.

"He can't save you this time." Nick said as he took what he wanted from me.

I woke up with a gasp trying to fight off whoever was touching me. A blindfold wrapped around my eyes

"Easy angel calm down." a rough voice says followed by light blinding my sight.

Squinting my eyes I blink to clear my vision making the person in front of me out. Negan's bearded face filling my gaze.

"Negan?" I ask my voice cracking followed by a tear running down my cheek.

"I'm fine." I say quickly wiping my face.

Jumping out of the truck Negan has to catch me from falling.

"Whoa there." he says laughing.

"Thanks." I say moving around him to see where we are.

We were standing in a large parking lot only some of the places filled with long abandoned cars. A large structure stood next to us. Looking up, Lincoln High School was wrote in white letters.

"A school?" i ask Negan looking at him.

"I saw it from the road a while back been meaning to come over and check it out." he says stepping up the curb and walking to the glass doors.

"Wanna do the honors or shall I?" he asks gesturing towards the door.

"How am i supposed to get through a glass door with no weapon?" i asks holding my hands up and walking to him.

"Here is a tip when breaking into schools. No electricity." he says grabbing the door handle.

"No lock." he says pulling the door open.

"Well that's interesting." i say stepping thru the doorway.

"You are not curious about how i know that are you darling?"

"Not really." i say shrugging.

Walking into the dark building the only light coming from the windows I walk into what used to be the front office.

It was what you expected. Overturned chairs papers scattered everywhere. Drawrs pulled open.

"You know there is nothing here right?" i ask Negan looking at him.

He was leaning against the door frame bat laid over his shoulder.

"Where is your sense of adventure angel?"

I only shrug as an answer. Partly because my mind was foggy with sleep and the other was the guilt in my jut. I allowed myself to get close to him and now I was the tool for his murderer.

Feeling the sting behind my eyes I quickly leave the room threw the side door leading to the hallway.

I walk down the hall well aware of the sound of Negan's boot steps behind me.

I fall into the daze of placing one foot in front of the other.

I jump when something grabs my arm spinning me to face them. I look up meeting Negan's eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asks loudly making me jump again my heart racing.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I say my voice cracking.

"We both know that's a fucking lie so you might as well tell me." he says standing straight to tower over me.

Feeling rage in my veins i jerk my arm away from him.

"Don't treat me like one of your men Negan or like some bitch that will cower under you. I told you i didn't want to be here but you forced me to go so forgive me if i'm not jumping for joy." i say clenching my jaw and moving to walk down one of the staire ways beside us.

I knew what i looks like. Some crazy woman who couldn't control herself but Negan didn't know what was going on in my head. Maybe if he thought I was crazy he would stay away from me and i wouldn't be put in these situations.

Remembering what Mark said about if i came back with Negan i would regret it.

Hearing a scratching noise behind one of the doors i see a walker rubbing itself on the windows in the classroom it having no idea im here its eyes not in its skull. Seeing no need to deal with it i keep walking.

"Y/N!" Negan yells from behind me.

It takes one look to know he's mad.

"Go away Negan. Your making it worse." i say turning around fighting the want to run.

I wouldn't run away from Negan this would end bad of i did.

I settle for walking into what looked like a kitchen. Weaving around the counters and tables i find the storage room. Seeing the ceiling bowing down the only thing holding it up is a shelf makes me think no one has chanced going in there.

Ducking under the fallen beem i don't have time to take in the dark room before i once again hear Negan.

Sighing move into the darkness.

"Angel you might as well tell me what's got you ll jumpy." Negan saya making me jump.

"I told you i'm fine." i say turning to face him.

"Your not fine!" he yells extending his arm Lucille smashing into the door frame.

At first only the sound of the hit filled the air it was replaced by something creaking then a loud crack as the ceiling gave away.

I felt something hard smack into my body knocking me down to the floor. I realized it was Negan pushing me out of the way his large frame shielding mine. I could feel his breath on my neck and practically hear my heart. Pushing himself up on his arms he looked down at me.

"You okay?" he asks it to dark in the room to see his face.

"I think so." I say my voice shaky.

Getting up he helps me stand. The past seconds letting my sight adjust to the dark room.

It wasn't as dark as i once thought. It was the pantry for the school the shelves ransacked. There was a bit light shining in through a cloth of some kind. Standing up on my toes i pulled the cloth it tearing with ease. I jump back when a hand falls down with the cloth it clearly a shirt. With it out of the way i quickly realize that the door is gone. Nothing but rubble. The light coming from a small hole in what used to be the ceiling.

"Well what kind of mess have we gotten into?" Negan says from behind me.

"We have to get out." i say my mind jumping to what would happen when we don't come back. When Negan don't return. Simon would surely take over. He would quickly kill everyone in Alexandria.

I feel my heart pound so loud my blood rushing. Trying to breathe i panic when no air fills my lungs it getting stuck in my throat.

Grabbing my throat i try to breath my lungs starting to burn.

Being pulled into a hard chest i hear a mumble. It talking moment for me to understand it's Negan telling me to breathe.

"Come on Angel breathe." He says making me look up at him.

I watch his chest rise and fall him trying to help me I follow him. Taking a breath nothing fills my lungs but i keep mimicking Negan.

When warm sweet air fills my lungs i choke coughing loudly.

"That's my girl." Negan's gruff voice fills the room.

I wrap my arms around him shocking him as i feel hot tears run down my cheeks. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen or being trapped or the fact Negan is always somehow the one to save me but I brake down sobbing loudly.

Feeling Negan's hands on my arms I expect him to push me away. I feel him run one hand down my arm it wrapping around my lower back the other hand softly stroking my hair. That's how we stayed Negan holding me as I sobbed into his white T-shirt.

Everything weighing on my mind slowly slip away as if Negan was sucking the pain and worries from me. Him like a magnet pulling the fears and stress out of my mind.

I don't know when it happened but by the time I stopped crying we were sitting on the floor Negan's arms wrapped around me. I was sitting between his legs my head tucked into his collarbone.

I knew it was a stupid idea but i stayed there wrapped up in him.

My face was wet with tears but I didn't bother wiping them off. Taking a shaking breath I sat up not looking at Negan.

"Care to explain darlin."

"I can't." I say my voice cracking

"Why the hell not?"

"I'll get someone else killed if I do. That's all I'm good for."

"Who told you that?"

"I can just see it. Im cursed."

"I don't believe in none of that bullshit."

"I guess you wouldn't would you? You've never been close to anyone." I say looking at him.

It dark for the most part but not dark enough to hide him clenching his jaw.

I dig the knife from my pocket and hand it to him. Once again Im glad for the dim light.

"Where did you get this?"

"I won't tell you. I can't have more blood on my hands."

"What blood is that?"

I snuffle moving away from him to sit on the floor.

"Go on tell me."

"I got Nick killed." I* say curling up.

"Maggie is dead because of me. I ruined to many lives to forget."

"I find that hard to believe Angel." He says it being the last thing that's said for a while.

I once again go over what Mark said and what I could do. My heart racing feeling myself being pushed into a corner. It reminding me when I was in highschool and all my choices were taken from me. I swallow wrapping my arms around myself at the thought. The only thing that helped me get threw it was talking.

I take a deep breath looking at the wall. I decided to say my peace knowing that I will at least told someone my side of the story.

"Have you ever done something wrong but you keep doing it?" I ask Negan earning a playful “Yeah.“

"Remember how I told you I worked at a hospital before? I didn't ever tell you how I got started working there. I've always found myself in trouble from a young age. My parents were CEOs of different companies. On top of that they went to every charity event in town. They cared more about there image then me. I only got attention when I was in trouble. Well despite that I got good grades did whatever extra classes they paid for. Until I turned 16.

They lost everything the money, house, friends, everything. For the first time in my life they were there all the time. At first I thought I was happy until I realized that I was less wanted then I thought. But what did I expect from parents who only pretend to care at birthdays." I say sighing laying my head back.

I felt I could breathe again but it was easy to talk about my parents. I gave up on them a long time ago.

"I fell in love with my teacher." I say earning a chuckle.

"Pardon me but did you say you fell in love with your fucking teacher?" Negan asks laughing.

I didn't see what was funny him laughing like I told a inside joke.

"Not even that I had sex with him." I say rolling my head to look at him.

"I was a troubled teen and I think at first Andrew really wanted to help but he was fresh out of college and I needed an escape from home." I say looking at the hole in the ceiling.

"What happened?" Negan asks sounding like he really wanted to know.

"I got pregnant." I say swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Did you lose it?"

"No, worse I killed her. After everything my family lost their image still mattered. They-. " I take a shaky breath clenching my fist.

"I was under 18 I had no say. They locked me in a room where a doctor drugged me and tied me down as he cut my baby girl out of me." I say not hiding the anger in my voice.

"She was three months old and everyone dared to tell me that she wasn't alive yet. And our world now is meant to be the messed up one." I say wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"After that I started to volunteer at the hospital. Try to convince people to keep their babies give them up is better than chopping them into bits. I never left even after everything hit the fan I didn't rush to my parents house. I stayed. I swore to myself I wouldn't be responsible for someone else's death. Not again." I say my cheeks wet but no tears falling.

I was looking into the darkness so I jumped when I felt Negan place his hand on my knee.

"I'm sorry Angel. No one should have to go through that."

"It's okay. I've kept my promise to myself even in all this mess." I say smiling at him. My throat was still tight but I felt better than I have in a while.

"I've never told anyone that."

"Don't worry your secret is safe with me." he says grinning.

"So you mean to tell me you ain't ever killed anyone."

"Not before Nick no. I've had plenty of chances. When the Governor did what he did I didn't stop him. "I say swallowing and clenching my jaw.

"Why the hell not?" Negan Ask his voice booming.

"The only way would have been to kill him. He placed a knife in reach to taunt me. I couldn't bring myself to fight back. I guess I thought I deserve it." I say wrapping my arms around myself despite the sweet covering my skin.

"Shit darling you need to realize how much of a fucking badass you are." he says making me chuckle.

"How did you get badass out of all that?"

"Because despite all that shit you are still here fighting to survive. You got stronger from your own hell."

"I don't think so. I think I’m weaker than ever." I say looking up at him. He grabs my face with both hands keeping me from looking away.

"I think you can do anything you have the balls to back it up."

"How?"

"Because even though you went through hell and back you still do the right thing. You got guts." He says grinning.

"Not really I got Nick-."

"I killed Nick. I liked it too. He touched something that belonged to me I would happily do it again."

I blush looking away with my eyes only not sure what he meant.

"Don't worry Angel." he says stroking my cheek.

"Daddy will take care of Mark." he says making my blush deeper.

"Don't kill him, please." I beg softly.

"I have better plans for him. Now what do you say about getting out of this room?"

"Okay."

"Peachy." he says smirking and standing up.

"Come on Angel I want to get home for a fucking shower." he says pulling me up.

With Negan's help I climbed over the fallen darby. I find a blacked out window that I pop open with the knife.

We both crawl outside it feeling 20 degrees cooler than in the room.

"I gotta take this shit off." Negan says pilling his jacket off.

"Want me to carry it?" I ask holding out my hand my eyes jumping to his tattoos.

"Would you do that for little old me?" he says holding up the jacket.

"Well I wasn't going to say anything but you are reaching what 70?"

I ask smiling earning a glare from Negan but his mouth was twisted into a smirk.

"Watch that fucking mouth." he says pointing Lucille at me.

"Yes sir." I say glad for the light mood it was easier to joke with Negan.

Taking a breath I headed around the school back to the parking lot Negan walking behind me jacket and bat in hand.

"Answer me something Angel." He says when we get to the truck him throwing his jacket in but Lucille placed on his shoulder.

"Okay." I say reputting my hair up.

"If you don't want to kill anyone why tell me about Mark?"

"Because if I didn't he would hurt Alexa."

"That's it?"

"Mmhmm." I say nodding.

"Fuck you are so good." he says his voice husky. Him saying it like he was talking dirty in bed.

I blush at the shiver running threw me.

"We should probably go." I say chewing my cheek.

"Yeah let's get the fuck out of here." he says biting his lip.

Ignoring my female hormones I walk around the truck getting in. Reaching for the blind fold I'm stopped when Negan grabs my arm.

"Don't bother. We are to far away from Alexandria for you to find you way back. The only thing you'll learn is how to get home." he says making me smile for trusting me. Also because he said it like the sanctuary was my home now. I guess it was.

#negan fanfiction #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan #negan fic #negan fluff #negan x reader #negan x you #negan x y/n #negan imagine #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fic #the walking dead fanfiction #a touch #buried

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