#mid tbh. mine's longer

[eclipsecrowned]

BLOG MOVE!

Long overdue, blog has become a complete mess, Hoping to enter 2025 with some more positive energy by being able to pre-empt blocking some real freaks out there who like to lurk on my page and a better focus on ic!

What this is going to look like:

Fresh transfer to a new blog, though I will slow drip in what people would prefer be transferred over*. Mild rework of muse page to remove muses that no longer or never generated interest. A tighter focus on what sparks joy for me as much as for my partners bc tbh i got kind of exhausted being 'the x person' or not feeling that all muses were regarded as equal in different fandoms.

Timetable:

I'm going to spend the next few days I have off doing the heavy lifting of actual coding/aesthetics/test posting, and so on. Over time, I will be finalizing my carrd to have more in depth information for all muses, as well as the easy-access mobile muse page for people who just want it short or sweet. I also intend to ensure each muse has a fully functional tag system before moving bc these same named bitches w a tbt appended are killing me. Is this Charlotte from B*rserk or Charlotte from Debede? Shut up past Kadi I'm going to kill you. This hopefully means I will be fully ready to go in early-mid January if not a little sooner. For now, I will still be semi-active/lurking here just grabbing everything I need, and will let you all know when that changes.

What's coming with me:

Dynamics/Ships

Headcanons

Most of you hopefully!

Probably most muses

Most fandoms, with a few greatly expanded character-wise

Any threads people want me to transfer*

Any IC or meta asks people want me to transfer*

*The focus at the start is on just setting a new daily writing habit, which means I will likely focus on new threads and asks to start. However, I don't intend to totally abandoned some threads that have been plotted or even just interest me. The main point is that I will put those on the back burner until I can give them the focus and energy they deserve. If there is a thread or ask you want on rotation moving forward, please fill out this form so I can hold on to it :D

If you 100% want to remain mutuals the new blog like this post and I will follow you once it's identifiable as mine/not a bot.

[thegempage]

gonna elaborate on one of the steps from this post of mine about my ideal narilamb dynamic bcus i want to talk about them jfdklasjkfds so go check that out for context

but the idea (which i'm going to put under a cut bcus i love to Talk)

i'm thinking this is like, partway through their decade-ish phase where they're going from "mutual bitter betrayal" to "on friendly terms again," and the lamb is charged with re-killing and subsequently indoctrinating the bishops. which like... is gonna stir up a Lot of feelings (i also hc, in this case, that the bishop situation doesn't come up for at least a few years after the lamb initially defeats narinder, hence being in the mid phase) bcus the lamb thought they were striking down the bishops responsible for the horrors they've faced the first time, and now some asshole in a cloak is telling them they didn't do it right. plus narinder thought he was free of his siblings and ever having to confront the feelings he has about them but now they're going to be Here and he can't Hide Forever bcus he's far enough into healing that the lamb would be sad if he regressed back into isolation (and also he's been getting more involved with the day-to-day cult stuff and him disappearing would cause Issues)

(also. tbh i think narinder starts falling back in love first, bcus i feel like he spent so long stuffing down his feelings that now that he has a body that can Feel Emotions Physically he has a harder time ignoring them. not that he'd bring that up at this point but like, he's in a weird love/hate/desire for healing cycle with the lamb that they are Vaguely aware of but don't want to push bcus their own feelings on the matter are just as complicated and they Do Not want to address those)

so the lamb gets this mission to kill leshy again and take him in. they kind of talk to narinder about it but don't bring up all the details bcus they're not sure what they're going to do about leshy once he's in the cult, and they don't Necessarily trust narinder's first reaction to seeing his baby brother again, nor do they trust leshy to be around narinder for at Least a week or two, possibly longer. so narinder just knows the basics of the plan, and then the lamb fucking Disappears for a bit to get this done. narinder is stewing in his feelings while he runs the cult with the lamb's other disciples and he's not having a Great time. one may even accurately accuse him of having a Bad time. no one is going to bcus fuck if anyone is going to bring up that he seems to be in a bad mood more often these days.

the lamb comes back with leshy. narinder is Not a fan of this choice but it's not like he had any way of denying it, bcus the lamb Has to do something about the bishops or shit is gonna get bad, and even if he wishes they would just kill him, the lamb isn't exactly known for that (their tendency toward second chances, after all, is the only reason he's going through this). the lamb keeps them apart for a while until leshy settles in and it's clear he's not in any immediate danger of dissenting, at the very least. narinder still kind of avoids him bcus he's pissed off that leshy was involved in imprisoning him and he's afraid that leshy is upset with him about tearing out his eyes (he is, but he's not about to have that argument without back up).

and narinder and the lamb have managed to go a little while without arguing about anything big, bcus they're both trying to work on that (and the arguments are never Actually what they're about so it's not like they were getting anywhere), but narinder is so on edge about leshy that he snaps at the lamb and they snap back bcus they're on edge about heket and this mysterious cloaked figure (which narinder can Kind of see but not yet communicate with, for other reasons i have hcs for about his return to divinity and will maybe one day elaborate on separately). they get into a shouting match about the lamb's choices about what to do about the bishops and how much of those choices are actually in their control and how much each of them is upset about these developments and how much narinder does Not want to see his other three siblings again, and really it's about narinder feeling left out of the thought processes and the lamb feeling like they can't trust him to be involved and therefore having no one to turn to bcus it's not like they can address these issues with their regular ass mortal disciples and also both of them are heavily traumatized by the bishops and don't want to acknowledge said trauma. it's messy and loud and they both walk away pissed

but the important thing is after they walk away from said argument they both feel guilty about it. and they've always felt Bad walking away from shouting matches and they've occasionally felt a Little guilty about big arguments but this is the first time they've both been like "fuck, maybe we could have talked that out instead of yelling" so they regroup and apologize for parts of it and kind of talk about other parts (they're still not Completely there, to be clear, we're still in the "figuring out wtf is happening between us" phase) and the lamb lets narinder in more on their plans for heket and asks for his advice on dealing with her after she's brought into the cult and about how much he wants to be involved. which starts the ball rolling faster on them starting to make up bcus now they're on more equal footing and narinder feels less like he's being blocked from the important parts and the lamb feels less isolated in the process of dealing with the people responsible for so much of the pain in their life

and if like.......... narinder has a few dreams that he dwells on for a while or stares at the lamb too intensely during sermons. well that's his business. the lamb definitely doesn't think about him while they run solo crusades or while they're alone in the evenings, wandering around and helping out the night crew with the occasional tasks, not if you asked them

(there's also a decent amount of timespan involved with this, but that's not as important jfkldsajdf in my head this takes place over the course of about four months, from the mysterious seller appearing to them starting discussions about heket, with bringing in all four bishops taking about a year and a half total, potentially closer to two years depending on narinder's reactions to heket and kallamar and the seasons' effects on the lamb)

[ts-witchy-archive]

Hello! I've seen a bit of wiccan (?) things for a while, if I were to start I wouldn't even know how to start though. (my autistic ass does not leave the house and my mom would probably think it's weird to make strange concoctions of things) I also don't really know how deities work and how do you find out which one your communicating with? Tbh I've always felt like someone is around but whatever god it is seriously fucking hates me /hj Been better since I started medication but like the luck I have is 50/50 good bad and that is probably not normal. If you answer this it'd be very helpful.

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

I just want to start by defining a few terms for you :)

Wicca/Wiccan: A pagan religion that focuses on nature, magic and witchcraft. It was founded in the mid 20th century and Wiccans primarily worship 2 Gods which are personifications of nature.

Witch: Just a person who practices witchcraft. It's a non-gendered term and a non-religious term/practice. Not all witches are Wiccan but all Wiccans are witches. Witches can be absolutely anyone

Personally, I'm not Wiccan so I can't really tell you much about that but if there is one thing I know, it's witchcraft! There are many different places to start but I'm going to condense it down as much as humanly possible. It'll probably feel like a bit of information overload so just try to take it slow and relax. Enjoy the learning.

My favourite book for beginner witchcraft is 'Witchery: Embrace the Witch Within' by Juliet Diaz. She is a fantastic author and wonderful human. Everything about the basics of witchcraft you could need is in that book (imo). You should be able to find a pdf online if you can't get a physical copy.

As for youtube channels with solid content:

Harmony Nice: She covers everything Wicca. She has a playlist with all her Wiccan/witchy content witch is linked here

The Witch of Wonderlust: Olivia has been a favourite witchy youtuber of mine for a while. I wouldn't recommend jumping into her videos without any prior knowledge but once you have a grasp on the bare bones it should be okay. Here is a playlist she made with everything you could possibly need when beginning witchcraft. SOrt through the videos and see what peeks your interest.

The Hearth Witch: Another wonderful account if I remember correctly. Her videos used to be on the longer end (30-60mins) so if you have a short attention span then maybe not but she has a wealth of information.

I also recommend joining a few discord servers, following a few pages on tumblr just to get acquainted with the community and terminology.

Okay, on to the deity work situation. Deity work is generally considered more intermediate in the witchcraft community. key words being 'Deity WORK'. Worship is completely fair game. Setting up an altar, praying, leaving offerings, doing activities in devotion to the deity is absolutely something you can do relatively quickly.

As for IDing a deity, most people do it through 'divination' which is things like tarot, a pendulum, dice, bone throwing, and other ways. Most people also ask for signs that a specific deity is 'reaching out' to them or wants them to pay attention. You can also politely ask someone who is volunteering their time on tumblr or a discord server to find out for you via divination. If they don't say their doing free readings, obviously, don't ask.

Finally. luck is luck. It makes no sense for a literal God to hate a human. We all have periods of shitty luck and awesome luck! I wouldn't blame that on anything. Sometimes bad things just happen unfortunately. But sometimes amazing things also happen, even if it's just as small is finding 5 cents on the footpath.

That was so long. Congrats if you made it to the end because I nearly didn't when writing this. I hope this helped a bit. Feel free to reach out if you need a hand with anything. Thanks :)

[majorbaby]

i really enjoyed your post on sidney freedman!!!! i'm wondering, what do you think of radar, as a character or as a storytelling device or both? imagine my little anon sunglasses face resting on my hands smiling so smittenly and kicking my feet. i adore your thoughts theyre SO fun and interesting to read

hi! thank you for your kind words.

In Dear Sigmund good ol’ Sidney tells us rather than shows us the Radar character thesis:

Actually Sigmund, it’s a wonder more people around here don’t take a vacation from reality. Some people even manage to grow - Radar for instance. In so many ways he’s still as innocent and naïve as the local orphans he plays with. And yet this boy keeps this unit, this state of chaos running smoothly. 

The early years establish that pretty well without actually saying it outright. I do find Radar very enjoyable during that period, but he had to be completely re-tooled alongside the rest of the show as of Season 4. The reason for that is Radar and Henry were a package deal, maybe even in a more effective way than Trapper and Hawkeye because the former pair gives you some contrast. The gag with Radar-Henry was that Henry was this privileged, middle-aged dude, a surgeon, and the CO at the 4077th, but he’d run the camp into the ground were it not for Radar, an almost-legal child. The point of that seems very clear to me, this lower-class kid from rural Iowa with nothing but street smarts going for him is far more competent than anyone else in the camp. I love that. Without Radar, Trapper and Hawkeye can’t pull off a lot of their hijinks. Henry can be something of a wild card, in theory he’s on HawkTrap’s side, definitely more than I can say Potter was ever on HawkBeej’s side, but the thing with Henry is he likes to be liked by others, including by the army brass, whereas HawkTrap and Radar don’t give a shit about that. 

That early version of Radar takes a huge hit when Potter rolls in, and we see Radar’s subversive role diminished significantly. Actually if I were a Radar stan I’d be pretty pissed off about that, but usually my annoyance is reserved for the Potter-Klinger relationship. As a class-dynamics stan, I am heartbroken. Think about what we got instead in the mid-late years when it came to class… Rizzo whose class is the butt of the joke 90% of the time, Klinger who gets really into moneymaking schemes for some reason (think about why the only brown character on the show got that as a character beat) and uh… tha’s it. The next person on the ladder might be Hawkeye. Radar is still around until season 8 but they lean really hard into his being “simple” and infantilizing him and he’s no longer this scrappy, street-wise kid, who Charles frequently refers to as a “bumpkin”. I get why Gary Burghoff might’ve started to tire of playing that, he was nearing 40 by the time he left MASH. The early years allowed his character to be much more complicated in my opinion, and tbh, he was funny as fuck back then. 

Radar does get some solid content in 4 - 8. Burghoff is a great actor and he convincingly sells the more dramatic moments like in The Interview, Bug Out, Dear Sigmund, End Run, and Mail Call… Again. I don’t care for the framing of Fallen Idol but I think Burghoff and Alda have good chemistry and it was fun to see some conflict in their relationship. My problem with Radar-centric episodes in that era is they rely on “... and now Radar is all grown up!” as the moral of the story, but that only lasts until the next Radar episode rolls around and he’s a little kid again. I prefer episodes where we get to see him have fun. Your Hit Parade has always been a favourite of mine, I love Radio-DJ Radar. 

Unfortunately I think the moment Radar is truly seen as “grown up” on the show is Goodbye Radar parts 1 and 2, which is embarrassingly late imo. We see that he’s now grown up in a few ways: his role as the backbone of the 4077th has a noticeably different tone – people outwardly express their reliance on him, and Radar himself “takes on” the burden of running the unit rather than it magically falling to him, and he argues with Hawkeye on his level about staying. Before all that stuff about Radar was unsaid, and the one time Sidney does say it its preceded by “this 19-year-old is as childlike as the 4-to-5-year-old local Korean kids”. In Goodbye Radar it’s called out multiple times in the open. The other way we see that Radar has “come of age” is he takes more of an assertive role during his encounter with his love interest, Patty. We see him actually go for what he wants, trying to delay his flight, making the first move to kiss her and being noticeably disgruntled at having to leave her behind. I suppose it happens so late because they couldn’t manage him past that point, which is why he continues to be stagnant until that point.

When he does finally “come of age” it doesn’t land well for me because it’s so sudden. This is the same Radar who 10 episodes ago sought advice from the whole camp on how to talk to a pretty nurse in Hot Lips is Back in Town. I think that was the third or fourth time we saw that plot. I love a coming-of-age story but they need to be gradual for them to be effective, and that’s not easy to do on a episodic show. Really with the exception of Margaret and maybe Charles, I don’t know that any of the characters on MASH have a concrete character arc. I’ve gone back and forth with BJ - I like to see an arc there, but I have no clue how intentional it was. And with Margaret and Charles it might be a bit easier because they start out as antagonists. 

To be clear though, I don’t think “character development” is a surefire sign of a good character or a good show. I think Hawkeye is a fantastic character and he doesn’t develop much. But when the show made the shift to character drama, certain characters suffered a lot. Radar was one of them, Frank was another which is why Linville’s exit makes so much sense to me and he literally said of Frank, “there’s no where else for this character to go”. So that’s it really – I think Radar was a character who couldn’t quite land the leap to the show’s new format, but who was a fan favourite. He shows up less and less throughout season 7 and the excuse we’re given is that he’s “off on R&R”, so you almost get used to him not being there. 

To properly answer your actual question: I think he really worked well as a device in the early years. He buttresses the messaging of the show, he’s on the side of the “anti-regular-army” and – something that I think gets overlooked a lot – he’s fucking horny lmao. He may be virginal but he leers at women, he wants to have sex and go on dates with them, he can be devious and he’s not always automatically on Hawkeye’s side, sometimes he wants something in exchange for his help. It was a very fun vibe. So it was weird for me to see him go from that to this delicate little cherub who is only looking for a pure, lasting love – that was what his character was based around in the character drama years and I don’t care for it. Let Radar fuck tbh. He isn’t 10 years old, he’s 18-19-20. 

There is also this thing I wrote about him that got way more traction than I could’ve imagined. It started out as a meta post but I kinda hit flow with it and just started writing… it’s half-way between meta and prose and it generally sums up my feelings about Radar in a less analytical way that I’ve done here.

Thank you so much for the interesting ask!

[j4y-lvr]

ADOR U!… nishimura riki ㅤ▷ OMG ㅤ"they keep asking me, 'who is he?' "

SYNOPSIS. a silly dare led niki to attempt to be your silly boy

GENRE. fluff, crack, some angst

PAIRING. danceteamleader!niki x teammember!fem!reader ft. enhypen, newjeans

WARNINGS. unhinged and maybe its cringe since i explained the moves to the placement of their feet, im sorry-😭, jungwon says niki got no rizz(it doesnt happen anymore-), lowercase intended, tba

WORD COUNT. 1.8k

NOTE. ANDDDDDDDDDDD that's it for this silly series of mine (the other remains collecting dust) well this was cute and fluffly, a nice wrap on things till i decide to write a longer fic sometime later mid feb cuz finals. speaking of tests, tmrws the skl event and tbh im not nervous bc im prepareddd🗣

TAG(S). @sd211 @heesitation

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!

prev.:ㅤ.master.

now playing:ㅤOMGㅤ ılllı ㅤㅤ ㅤ newjeans 0:00 ─●──────── -0:00 ㅤ⇆ㅤ◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷ㅤ ↻

ㅤㅤㅤ ☰ queue

"minji," "yeah," she replied, face illuminated with the brightness of the device's display, not lifting her head from whatever she was indulged in. "do you plan on going to the event?"

"what event?" she queries, eyes still glued onto the screen in peak concentration. You huff and stare at your friend and slam your hands on the table she slouched on, marking her yelp and sit up straight. "the event beomgyu's holding,"

And for the first time since you began your little conversation with her, feeling as though you were invading her personal session with her handy dandy little phone, she gazes at you with intention. "how cute, you think it's an event?"

You nod aloof of her inquisitive response and wind back taking your hands off the table, curiosity bubbling in you, "if not an event, what is it? he invited me during chemistry, i said id think about it,"

"he invited you— personally?!" "yeah," you address casually, not sure what minji was twisting a normal interaction into. "do you even know what that means, yn?"

"of course not! not if you're going to beat around the bush and keep me in the dark!" you burst, inquisitively jumping the gun and getting riled up to suit into the truth that got stuck in her throat.

"geez, sorry man," she pauses, blinking back and continuing, "for starters, it's a party and most importantly, he only sends messages as invites," 

"but he invited me today during chemistry…" "need i remind you who exactly choi beomgyu is,"

You deny and piece the parts together, "so the dudes interested," "mhm and this is a sign for your lonely ass to get out there and have fun, instead of solitary,"

You plop down in the empty chair beside her, "but i got my sights set on someone," you mumble loud enough for minji to hear you and she does, clinging onto you with a jolt. Your hand now in a tight grasp she begins to bombard you with questions yet you ignore them and grin mischievously.

"who is he?!"

"i've some business to tend to, bye minjiii" you drawl and hop off your seat and walk towards the door, leaving somewhat satisfied with minji's enthusiasm and her dying to know expression painted all over her face.

After your narrow escape from minji, you return to the room for an extended practice of a small event you and your groupmates plus niki and his friends were collaborating in. It was in your best interests to avoid and dodge every question minji threw at you.

“are you really going to go?” minji shoots, with furrowed eyebrows and the look of pure curiosity, and that was right where you wanted her. Niki perked up and began listening in attentively while sunoo gave a rundown of what happened to his friend, seungkwan the previous day.

You look up from your phone, sparing a glance to niki who remained splayed across the floor, panting from the extensive practice and reworking of the choreography. “mhm,” you hum, continue to gaze at your phone, side-eyeing niki who stilled nonetheless to your conversation.

The others were left in the dark that you and niki had made up, since you urged the boy to silence. You ignored his every attempt to talk to you during the practice, well, solely for now. You had an elaborate idea that was extensive for no concrete reason.

You grin knowingly, having told niki to keep your little interaction a secret from the others for a while. “but why?” “it’ll be just for a while, don’t worry about it” you said, scooting closer and leaning on the wall, glancing out the dimming sky from the window. He sighed and took your hand in his, intertwining them, causing you to grin in content and lay your head on his shoulder with a small laugh.

Unknown to you two was the sighting of your particular warm moment to hanni’s two orbs, who gasped upon recognising both. Albeit, she hadn’t confirmed her suspicion nor spilled any information, ushering herself past the door after taking the sighting.

Hanni contemplated asking minji about it, avoiding causing any conflict, but her curiosity got to her, jogging up to her after the practice dispersed. You wandered off somewhere and minji walked forward mindlessly. “minji!” “hm? “have you noticed anything about yn lately?”

“no, why do you ask…” minji answered with little to no thought, whipping to the side to look at her younger friend.

“well, i think i saw what seemed to be yn and niki holding hands,”

Minji raised an eyebrow and urged her to continue, “and yn was resting her head on his shoulder…”

“i don't see what’s particularly wrong in that,” “they looked so,”

“in love?” minji completed with furrowed brows, “yet they were distant from each other today? what are these trying to pull off,”

You head home and draw out your closet, standing with a question mark drawn over your face, reaching for your phone and dialing up hyein who had an outstanding sense of fashion, seeking for her expertise. After dismissing and deducing what'd look best on you, hyein grins and curls a brow through the virtual barrier, "so, who is he?"

Ah, you could envision the bewildered glances and gazes already.

The sound of your sandals clacking to the concrete wasn't as pleasant but it was to avoid being sighted with the sought after, mystery boy, an ominous inconvenience of yours. You see him in the far distance, his pearly white dress shirt tucked in some black slacks with his hair resting effortlessly above his forehead. 

He held his head hung low, focusing on the screen as he tapped away responding to a text, unaware of your arrival. You creep up to him and jump, startling him to chatters as he shudders and catches you dressed up in your wear, glancing from top to bottom, clicking his tongue in satisfaction, "i like it," he gimmicks in a hilarious tone, making you slap the side of his arm.

"genuinely," you pan, making an unserious expression.

"no, seriously, i like it," he completes in a funny tone, making you erupt into laughter and lean on the bench beside him.

The laughter died and his phone was left long unattended, the display blackening as he glued his orbs to you, giving you that look you'd often read in fiction. The adored present and the soft smile in his front left you flustered, whipping to the trees around and covering your mouth with your hand for a brief second to compose yourself. Especially when he looked like that.

He chuckles knowingly and tugs on your  and clasps it in his, bringing a grin to light up your face. "many seem to be curious as to your identity, they keep asking me, 'who is he?' "

"well, how about we go kill the cat,"

"absolutely not. we do not tolerate any types of violence to those adorable fur balls," you blabber, concerned.

"you seem more concerned for a cat than me—"

"nothing new, you concern me on a daily basis. after all, you are a major inconvenience, you know,"

Maybe making niki enter a few minutes after was a bit too extensive but you wanted the build up to be dramatic. You joined minji and held a casual conversion, looking everywhere but the entrance as you saw a glimpse of him walking in. 

Coincidentally, beomgyu approached you and offered you a non-alcoholic drink and began conversing.

The side glare from niki was hard to miss as he eyes beomgyu all the way across the room, his jaw clenching as sunoo spoke, his chatter going inaudible to the boy. As much as you would love to extinguish his hardened expression, you had keen curiosity to build. "would like to dance?" beomgyu queried, "i might not be able to keep up with you impeccable talent but it's worth a try," 

You accepted, thinking it was a normal interaction. What you did not expect is for beomgyu to whip out his hidden stash of moves and own the very floor with the overhead booming music. You grinned at the newfound silliness and followed along, not necessarily anxious.

Niki stalked to the sound system, approaching chan, and whispering something into his ear as he eagerly nodded with excitement. The booming subdued and chan announced, "this is a request by riki, everyone's dream hype boy,"

Beomgyu halted and ushered you towards niki who stood not far from you, while others cleared the way. "what–"

"go!" the gummy smiled boy shouted, encouraging you and helping you to niki as the familiar beats of "all i wanna do" commenced.

You turned to niki with a question all while he carried out the moves, musing you to follow along as the onlookers cheered, some recording and masses shouting. You seemed to be enjoying yourself as you found the previous awkwardness in certain moves were glided through with ease, ooo's pouring through everytime the boy got close.

Completing the sequence and causing the crowd that formed to scream vicariously, you gripped onto nikis shoulders and hung your head, panting. Niki ruffled your hair, "we're not done yet," he commented in a tone you knew he'd accompany with a cute smile while hype boy continued with its melody.

Riding off the energy from the audience and the rhythm you and niki practically had everyone in awe as they clapped and thronged through to see the performance you two put on. The mental countdown to the chorus prepared you, skipping to right once again, feeling all too familiar with the setting, swaying and finishing each section neatly with the beaming boy beside you.

The music came to close, the people roared and you two plastered wide grins, "alright, niki has something to ask yn, let's quiet down," Many exclaimed with chants of "ask her out!" while others anticipated the moment. "even though this would be the second time i ask, would you like to go out with me, yn?"

Minji in the near distance threw her hands up in the air, resembling a meerkat with a "I KNEW IT!" Everyone shared a laugh and you rushed your answer, "yes," you paused, anticipating everyone's shock, waiting for it to thin out. Niki gasped, feign a hand to his chest being the playful boy he was, "so you're saying," he halted with wide eyes, "that i get to be your silly boy," he finished with an even louder gasp.

"yes, my silly boy from a silly dare,"

And with your response, he pulled you by the waist and pressed a sweet, warm kiss to your forehead, another round of fan's losing it. You circled your arms around him and rested your head on his chest that rose and fell lightly, leaning into your touch.

This wasn't so bad, you'd do it all over again, a 10/10 recommendation if you were asked.

main masterlist

[zjpg]

idk if this is trauma-dumping. it might be so this is your warning ig lol. (mentions of weight (a lot), death, being left out, mean friends? idk it’s a lot i’m just ranting.)

EDIT. THIS IS ACTUALLY A LOT OF TRAUMA DUMPING AND TURNED OUT TO BE LONGER THAN EXPECTED I NEEDED TO LET SOME SHIT OUT.

idk why but i kinda realized that my personality is solely based off of my friends. like. idk. and i don’t necessarily enjoy my personality. i feel like i’m mean, annoying etc. and i think i realized this when i stayed away from my friends for a while. i went and loved with my grandparents for a while and i have like a completely different personality.

i just try to match my friend’s personality, or maybe it whoever i’m talking to or hanging out with. cause i’m hanging out with different friends today and tm and i feel different.

i love my friends. but sometimes i just want to be treated and perceived differently. idk i think it’s why i’ve been trying to shift and why i write fanfic. i kinda always dreamed of this main character persona ig. because idk if anyone knows this but i am overweight. i think on the bmi scale i’m borderline obese (which tbf the bmi scale is a piece of shit tbh - coming from someone who to a medical class for the last two years)

but yeah i’ve never been the skinny pretty friend. if you’ve ever heard the song “fat funny friend” that was basically me throughout my school years tbh. and in elem and middle school i had some friends that definitely gave me trauma because of how they treated me.

now my current friends are just kinda mean, maybe it’s more of one specific friend who i’ve had trouble with in the past. idk around her i can never just feel good about myself. and it’s clear that since i’ve last seen her, her values have changed. and idk it’s kinda hard to come to terms with that because we’ve been best friends for so long. i spent the entire pandemic with her (we literally lived together tbh. like if she wasn’t at my house i was at her and we couldn’t survive 24 hours without each other)

again it’s just sad to feel like i’m less than. esp having like, she struggles with her body image too. which i feel like most people do and that’s okay, and she is skinnier and i feel like if most people would see her they would compliment her for her body. nonetheless it’s very normal and acceptable for her to dislike her body. sadly it’s normal at least (because of unrealistic beauty standards) however. whenever she’s around me and our other friend (who’s smaller than me but still considered plus-mid-size? which we have talked about together many times because can understand each others struggles) anyway the first friend will always make comments like “i feel/look morbidly obese” “i look fat” etc. and again it’s valid to feel that way but at the same time when i (again borderline obese) look at myself and then her and she says that. i literally wanna crawl in a whole and never show myself to the human eye again

idk if that makes me sound like a bitch or selfish. but she knows i’m bigger, we’ve talked about it before. and when our other who (who has been working out and trying to better herself and her health) sent results of her past few months of working out, proud of herself. friend 1 came in sending a body pic of herself in workout clothes says she looks fat and i got so she has to go work out (or something like that) and that’s upsetting to us but especially friend 2 because she is just trying to be happy about her body but then friend 1 comes in and says that her body isn’t enough and she has to work out even tho her body compared to mine and friend 2 is amazing

and i don’t wanna sound like she can’t have insecurities or she can’t talk to us about her insecurities. she can. we always do (friend 2 and i) but i hate the way she (friend 1) talks about weight. and like. another thing. whenever someone annoys her or makes her mad she calls them fat. usually along the lines of “fat bitch” “fat ugly bitch” and she makes fun of their bodies. even if they have the most perfect body. and ofc with years of friendship, we’ve had times where we didn’t get along and when we were pissed at each other. so it makes me wonder what she has said about my body behind my back.

there was a time kinda recently where i got drunk and friend 2’s party and because of some event with friend 1 that happened in the earlier evening. i said some shit. i was black out drunk tbh, i don’t remember anything. but i remember some stuff. and i feel horrible for saying it. but when friend 1 and i talked about she was like. kinda being mean. which i completely understand. but she wasn’t letting me get my point across. she wasn’t hearing what i had to say. and she wasn’t validating any of my feelings that i clearly have been having for a long time (i never act like that when i’m drunk) and maybe i sound really bad here because i obviously did make a huge mistake that like still keeps me up at night even now (it’s literally 2 am). and i say there and i listened to what she said and i validated every fucking feeling she had just like i always do. but she didn’t care to listen to how i felt that night.

there’s so many instances that has happened to this one friend where she just talks and makes up excuses and demands that you validate how she feels without doing the same back. (because she’s not an angel either) there was a time where we were a group of 4 before we had a falling out with friend 3. and friend 1sts a whole group chat named “besties without lucie(me)” when all 4 of us had a gc called “besties”. and i didn’t know for months until friend 2 called me and told me everything. how they made plans without me had the gc without me. and anytime friend 2 would bring up my name friend 1 would make excuses as to why i “couldn’t come along”. i couldn’t be in their secret gc because i was “too sensitive” and her reasoning for not coming to outings was usually because i “said i was busy” (i was never asked if i wanted to hangout. i found out through snap and life 360 that they were out without me). she even used my aunts passing as an excuse as to why i couldn’t go. even tho when her grandma passed she came over to my house unannounced and me and my mom had to take care of her for days because she was so depressed.

i cried myself to sleep during those times. and because it was around christmas my mom let and my brother open gifts early in order to cheer me up and she would go out and hang out without me. and now i have such bad trust issues with not only that friend group but everyone around me. i hate being left out. i’ve always been left out like my whole life.

idk i just. i want nice people around me. i want people who validate me and my feelings and i want to be included for once in my life.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

I went so long not shipping anything bc of my discomfort towards romantic/sexual relationships in media (and irl lmao) that now one of my friends is like /well if Fever ships it, it must be good/

And I’m out here, with all my cringefail losers who I may or may not ship but talk about incessantly regardless, like ahaha,,,yeah,,,it must be,,must be a good ship aha,,,

The thing is, I can have ships that are just a mid as anyone else’s because I’m no longer deeply offput by the idea of reading/watching romantic relationships. I don’t want one for me, but it can be cute and fun in media. And that makes engaging in fan culture a lot easier for me. I also got a lot better at filtering things that, as it turns out, are icks of mine.

Also, for me “shipping” characters often just means that I get that ship, but tbh the relationships I envision are more similar to a qpr than a traditionally romantic relationship.

[inkdemonapologist]

Some Inconclusive Squinting At Wilson And Audrey's Timelines

Probably someone else has already had thoughts on this, but here's some of mine!

WILSON:

World War 1 ended in Nov 1918. Given Nathan was shipped overseas in the final year, it's likely he participated til the end, meaning that if he got busy with Tessa the INSTANT he got home, Wilson would be born in mid 1919 and be, uh, 53 years old by the time of BatDR

No offense to Wilson but he is NOT looking good for 53

Also Wilson somehow sounds approximately a gazillion times older than his dad's audiologs, which, since they're about the death of Joey Drew and the opening of Arch Gate Pictures, are from just a couple years ago.

There's a few different ways headcanon could go on this I think, but I actually have a small speculation/theory on this one: Wilson has been in the Ink Realm for over a decade, thus "removed from the march of time" in reality, but since he's human (the only human!) and not an ink creature, he's been aging while in the Ink Realm.

We know he's been in and out before, and a decade or more could give him enough time to learn about and do all the bullshit he's doing. Henry mentions that he hasn't eaten in years, which could be a mistaken guess -- but if he's correct, would mean he's been captured a lot longer than the 211 days they've been ink-demon-free.

This could also fit with Wilson's weird note about being hidden in plain sight:

"It's been years and my face is still a mystery to my coworkers. They don't know me. They avoid me as if I carried some infectious disease. At first, this was an insult. But now... it is a gift. With the right costume, I can play the part of anyone. I can go completely unnoticed, hidden amongst the shadowed walls. As a clerk, an artist, a producer. Or even... a lowly janitor."

I don't think it's controversial to say that Wilson is eXTREMELY DISTINCTIVE AND VERY NOTICEABLE ACTUALLY, and even the man himself describes being intentionally avoided as if he's diseased, which is sort of the opposite of being unnoticeable. But if Wilson came out of the machine looking over a decade older and was suddenly treated like a weird old man when he's only in his 50s... both his offended confusion and his later realisation that this is an opportunity to be unrecognisable could fit.

(do i think this is intended? tbh probably not. do i think it makes more sense? YES) anyway next up,

AUDREY:

We hear the "tell me another story, Uncle Joey" line in BatIM, which takes place in 1963. Joey describes his previous attempts as those that "came before" Audrey, so most likely he had not created Audrey yet.

This would mean Audrey was created in 1963 at earliest, and is a young woman by the time of BatDR in 1973

This does not look like a 10 year old:

So Joey didn't just create her as a ten year old and then by BatDR she's 20; Something weird happened with her aging. ...this isn't like, a plot hole or anything; she's an ink creature and she can grow up however quickly she wants/Joey wants. BUT IT DOES RAISE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT EXACTLY HOW THAT WENT DOWN, especially considering that Joey died only 2 years ago, describes having a pretty significant relationship to her, and then in BatDR she has completely forgotten he's her dad. There's so many pieces;

Wilson (dubious trustworthiness) says she'll forget everything, implying that on entering the ink realm she'll lose her memories -- though afaik none of her other actions or comments seem to reflect a loss of memory on any other topic (for example, confidently telling Wilson "I've never done anything to you!" rather than a question of "What did I ever do to you?!")

Similarly, her "Well, newsflash! I didn't even know my father!" line does NOT sound like she suddenly can't remember her dad -- the emotion in it sounds like something that's been kind of a sore spot for a while. Even a new, fudged memory wouldn't have the time to build up this frustration in the Ink Realm... it feels pre-existing.

Joey (dubious trustworthiness) asserts that she's chosen to forget.

With her age being weird we have no idea when she left home; she could've been out on her own for a few years, and depending on the circumstances, may have had reason to forget/dismiss the memories of a very anomalous childhood.

Nathan never mentions her and does not have any explanation for Joey's boosted spirits (when you would think "apparently he adopted a child!" would be a pretty reasonable guess), so she does not seem to PUBLICLY be known as Joey's daughter

With absolutely no information there's space for a lot of speculation -- since she's his creation, can Joey tweak her memories? Can he give her a different backstory? Or did Audrey just end up in a different living situation and her brain decided her "ten years of growing up crammed into 4 years of time" memories with Joey didn't make sense? Did Joey have to give her up for some reason? Or did she and Joey have a huge argument/falling out that led to her leaving home? Did Joey try to demonstrate the truth to her and it was so weird that she just blocked it all out? etc etc etc

She still has the animation cell signed by Henry, and the TioL book with Joey's storyboard notes, which I feel like, she must've been given by Joey? So like, does she know Joey raised her, and she called him "dad" with the assumption he was her adoptive father, and she just wonders about a birth family that must exist but that she never knew? This one feels the most sensible to me, but also doesn't track with Memory Joey making the assumption that she's "chosen to forget" -- though it's also possible he's just being dramatic, or that Memory Joey just didn't know. Or, combine this with the one about Joey telling her the truth and her just repressing that because it's too weird, so she remembers her relationship with her father but not the origin story??? And like... I guess also this would mean the machine DID scramble her memories some so that Memory Joey wasn't shocking to her to meet?

Anyway, I haven't been able to cobble together a SATISFYING THEORY about Audrey's timeline so much as a bunch of really interesting headcanon fodder, depending on how you want to interpret Joey.... Just feels like there's a big space there where SOMETHING Obviously Happened but absolutely no clues towards what it might be.

[whatinthe25]

Did any of ya'll sign up for this Adulthood stuff?

Just like the rest of you, I didn’t sign up for any of this “life” stuff and quite frankly, I want a refund.

Who the hell am I?

Who the hell am I? Honestly, I can’t even answer that question. My name is Sarah, a 25 year old Latina with raging ADHD that is just trying to figure out this life thing one step at a time. One thing that didn’t hit me until 6 months into my 25th year is that like holy hell, I’m the ADULT now. This baby face of mine may stop me from getting into bars, but it isn’t stopping the natural progression of life and being like the Adult in so many situations. And I don’t mean the hypothetical “adult” like being the bigger person or whatever, I just genuinely mean like I’m no longer the youngest person in the room and realizing that has sent me into my mid-mid life crisis. Oh yeah, one cool thing about me though is my dachshund, Ollie. He’s cool as shit. The best puppy around.

What the fuck is an adult, anyway?

Growing up we were told they were the ones to trust in an emergency, and I guess I’m pretty trustworthy when shit falls through the cracks but like, that can’t be it? But like, I’m realizing that that IS it. Adults are just old people that have lived longer than you and like that’s it. They can be dumber than you, smarter than you, richer than you, poorer than you, stronger, weaker, slower, faster, you name it and it’s possible because the world Adult means literally “someone over 25" and like wow that’s it.

Why should you care?

Good question, I don’t even know why I should care about being an adult, or literally about anything? I don’t understand how humans are all just running around this world aimlessly, bending to societal whims or fighting against them, with no clear picture of the future. Adults are really just winging it and well, this shit is STRESSING me out. I didn’t sign up for this whole life thing, let alone the difficulty of figuring out what I want my life to be?? I can barely decide on breakfast in the morning (lol, I say morning like my first meal of the day isn’t usually at 1pm) and now I’m supposed to determine what I want my whole LIFE to look like? That’s like, SO much pressure.

Why am I even writing about this?

To be honest, I have no idea and that’s a clear example of what I mean. I have no idea what I want life to be like at all but there are a few things I like, and writing is one of them. I might not have the best grammar (and tbh who really cares) but I like to get my thoughts down on paper when I’m not spiraling out of control. So I figured a blog would be a good way to do that, only I feel too old for Tumblr so I thought I’d start a good ol blog, middle aged woman style.

The point.

Well my point here is, being an adult is meaningless and life is meaningless unless you give it meaning. But figuring out HOW to give your life meaning is hard and shouldn’t be according to all the mental health guru’s out there. Life is just life and we should enjoy the ride, but how the heck am I supposed to enjoy the ride if I don’t know the destination? Like if someone just swoops me up in a vehicle without telling me where we’re going or how long we’re going to be there, then HOW would I POSSIBLY enjoy that ride? The suspense would literally send me into cardiac arrest. (If you’re wondering, yes I hate surprises). But yeah all of this is just long form text to say - the point is that there is NO particular point, and so we need to create our own point, and that point can be ever changing, but there still is no particular point to doing anything, especially being an adult and living life which brings me to MY Point…. I have no point. HELP. If you want to be a part of me trying to figure out that Point, well have fun reading along! And If you have advice - that is very much appreciated.

Much love, thanks for reading,

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: as you spend more time with your patient's neighbour, you come to realise that your crush may be getting too much

warning/s: none, just fluff tbh

author's note: i’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first part! here’s the next bit :)

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

When Sunday rolled around, I did everything in my power to make it the perfect day for Anna. We went out for breakfast at a café around the corner, a stroll around the park, then I made her lunch before she conked out afterwards, napping in her bedroom. I took that as my chance to decorate the living-area with birthday decorations. Nothing too much as I knew she'd kill me if I went overboard, but little things like a banner, some balloons and streamers.

I told Wanda to come at this time, too, and she showed up with a bag of groceries and a pretty smile on her face.

"Here, let me help," I said, already moving to take the bag off her. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she said, closing the door behind her and following me into the kitchen. Her smile widened when she saw the decorations. "Y/N, this is lovely! Anna is going to love it!"

"You think?" I asked, spinning around and doing a once over of the living-area. "It's not too much? I know she'll hate if I do too much."

"It's just the right amount," Wanda reassured, glancing at me. "How has she been today?"

We both began to unpack the groceries as we talked.

"Really good actually," I said with a nod. "I treated her to breakfast at that café she likes. We went to the park, fed the ducks, had a nice stroll. Then I made her some lunch and she's napping which leaves us the perfect time to crack on with dinner."

Wanda chuckled. "Great." She paused, making me look to her to see her smile fading. Nervously, she asked, "Did her granddaughter call?"

I sighed quietly and Wanda seemed to know what that meant without me saying anything further. 

"It's okay, we'll just have to make this the best meal ever," she said, not letting it get to her.

"We will," I agreed, before looking to the food on the table. "So, chef. Where do we start?"

Wanda and I spent the next hour prepping dinner, a beef stew called Solyanka, as it would require two hours to cook on the stove so we were starting early to make sure it would be ready in time.

I was chopping some onions as she prepared the beef, but I couldn't help myself from glancing at her every two seconds, still filled with concern because of her cast and minor injuries.

"You should take a picture, it'll last longer," she said teasingly, making me look up to see her watching me with a stifled smile.

"Sorry," I mumbled, shaking my head and looking back to my chopping board.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

I chewed on my lip as I glanced at her wrist again, before meeting her gaze. "How did it happen?"

"I already told you," she reminded me playfully, trying to lighten the mood, but I was still fretful. "It happened on a mission."

"Yeah, but how?" I asked again, hoping she understood what I meant.

She seemed reluctant to share, face scrunching up with thought, before looking down to her own chopping board. I thought she wouldn't tell me, but then she spoke.

"I can't tell you too much," she started, shrugging, "since it was a confidential mission. But basically, I was undercover when my target recognised me and we got into a fight."

Watching her with the utmost attention, I nodded, imagining it in my head.

"It wasn't difficult or anything, but it surprised me, y'know?" She looked to me with a smile, as if trying to make it sound less scarier than it was. "The guy, the target, he managed to get in few good hits. And he sprained my wrist. But it's alright."

I wasn't as amused as she was, wincing at the thought of her being in a fight. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She tilted her head knowingly. "I'm sure, Y/N. It's my job."

Shaking my head, I looked back down to my chopping board and continued chopping the onion. "I don't know how you can do that as a job..."

"Well, it's rewarding," she said like it was obvious. "Why do you spend most of your week caring for the elderly?"

"It's rewarding," I said without hesitation, before realising what she'd done and looking her way.

She was smiling cockily, making me roll my eyes and laugh.

"Okay, I see your point," I gave in. "But still. It's a dangerous job what you do. Just be careful, yeah?"

"Always am," she promised. And I wanted to believe her, but the cast on her wrist said otherwise.

—

"It smells like home, devochki, spasibo (girls, thank you)," Anna said from her place at the table. "Are you sure you don't want me to help?"

"We're sure, Anna," Wanda called back to her. "I'm just putting the food into a serving bowl and Y/N is grabbing some glasses. You sit and wait like the patient woman I know you are."

Anna mumbled something in Russian which I didn't understand, but it seemed to make Wanda chuckle as she rolled her eyes.

It was finally time for dinner and the stew had turned out beautifully, not that I had doubts since Wanda didn't seem like one to kid around with cooking.

As she was readying it for the table, I was setting everything up and all that was left were the glasses. But, of course (and oddly enough, since Anna was shorter than I), they were stored on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard and just out of my reach.

In hindsight, I probably could have grabbed a stool and stood on it, but I was too lazy, so I went on my tip-toes and stretched with all my might. The tips of my fingers brushed against a glass and I attempted to move it towards me, unable to see if I was actually doing anything since it was too high. After a couple of tries, I managed to bring it forward, but my stupid self flicked it too hard and it came tumbling off the shelf and towards the counter.

I braced myself for the sound of glass smashing, but instead, a wondrous red energy wrapped itself around the glass and kept it suspended mid-fall.

"Very clever," Wanda said sarcastically, appearing directly beside me. Her accent was daringly teasing.

I looked up and saw her smirking at me with amusement, right hand raised and aimed at the glass. Red tendrils of energy glowed around her hand and the glass; I widened my eyes a little, amazed at how easy she made it look. Though I knew she had powers, I'd never actually seen her use them up close and personal. It was stunning.

"I totally knew you were going to do that," I played it cool, cheeks flushing as she set the glass on the counter.

"Mhm, sure you did," she played along with a melodious laugh, before pressing her front to my back without warning and reaching to grab two more glasses. "Here, I got it."

My body tensed at the feeling of her unexpectedly so close to me. My mouth went dry, her warmth emanating from her and washing over me with the scent of her perfume. Did she always smell so good?

When she grabbed all three glasses, she didn't seem to notice the effect she had on me (unless she did and kept quiet for her own amusement).

"Think you can grab the food without dropping it?" she asked, quirking an entertained brow.

Still distracted by her perfume, I nodded and cleared my throat. "Food. Right. Yeah."

As I stirred the stew to mix everything thoroughly, I felt my heart rate return to its normal pace and told myself to chill out. Wanda just happened to be an extremely pretty individual who was kind and thoughtful and funny. It wasn't a big deal.

When I was sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself, I returned to the dining table with a pot of stew and set it down on the placemat.

"Priyatnogo appetita (enjoy your meal)," I said, trying not to stumble over my pronunciation. 

Both Anna and Wanda raised their brows with matching surprised smiles on their faces.

"You said that perfectly, Y/N!" Wanda said encouragingly, as I took a seat to the right of Anna at the head of the table.

"I see you've been practicing," Anna added, looking to me with an endearing gaze. "A present in itself. Thank you, milaya (sweetie)."

I smiled bashfully. "I have to keep up with you both somehow, right?"

Anna chuckled as Wanda gave me a brilliant smile. Something in my chest stirred as she did, and I was forced to look away, though my own smile didn't fade.

"So, Y/N and I put this together for you and I'm sure you'll know what it is," Wanda said, before serving up a bowl for Anna.

"Solyanka," Anna exclaimed with delight. "Devushki (girls), this looks and smells amazing." She paused, glancing between us both with a grateful smile. "Since you've both been here, this place... it's beginning to feel alive again."

To my surprise, she teared up and began to laugh, using her napkin to pat the corner of her eyes. I rested my hand on hers, squeezing it gently and giving her a small smile.

"I appreciate this very much," she continued, before squeezing my hand and letting go to grab her spoon. "I can't wait to try it."

The three of us dug into our stew and Anna loved it, talking about the first time she ever had it as a kid and how it was one of her favourite dishes. The rest of the meal went by wonderfully, with Anna looking as happy as ever and Wanda listening to her intently. I was listening, too, but my gaze did end up wandering to Wanda as she sat there animatedly, nodding along and smiling to Anna.

For some reason, she was ethereal tonight, though she looked like she always did. Her long brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and she wore a loose tee shirt over some jeans. Nothing fancy, but she pulled it off so well. Rings adorned her fingers as she played with them thoughtlessly, and it caught my eye before I got distracted by her cast on her left wrist.

She'd said she was okay, but it still worried me. It wasn't my right to worry, but she was my friend. I was concerned. She could take care of herself, but that wouldn't put the ache in my heart at ease.

As if she could hear my concerns, her eyes flickered to mine, a kaleidoscope of blue, green and gold. She sent me a reassuring glance before looking back to Anna with focus. I chewed on my lower lip, trying not to let my worry get the best of me, before looking back to Anna.

Towards the end of the meal, after we'd eaten and were merely conversing, Anna's landline rang in the apartment.

"I'll get it," Wanda said, already standing up to grab the phone from its cradle.

Anna and I watched as she answered the phone with a friendly 'hello', before a surprised expression appeared on her face.

"Sure, I'll pass it on now," Wanda was saying before approaching the table and stopping by Anna. Her expression softened as she said to Anna, "It's Sasha."

Anna's expression fell at the mention of her granddaughter. She nodded slightly, before standing up and grabbing her cane to balance. Accepting the phone, she began to walk away into her bedroom. Wanda and I heard her say a faint 'hello' before she closed the door behind her.

"Her granddaughter rang?" I asked with mild disbelief.

"It is her birthday," Wanda pointed out, returning to her seat.

"Bit late into the day though, isn't it?" I retorted, pulling a face. "Almost like the day is over, in fact."

"Sounding a little judgemental there, Y/N," Wanda teased, leaning forward into the palm of her hands and watching me.

"I'm not," I said with an eye roll. "I just think she should show her grandmother some respect. Who does she think she is?"

I paused as Wanda gave me a knowing look, then winced.

"Okay, I heard it that time," I admitted, making her laugh.

"I get it," she said, nodding slightly. "Maybe she's finally starting to realise though."

I sighed, leaning back in my seat. "I guess... For Anna's sake, I hope so."

Wanda and I talked amongst ourselves until Anna returned silently, hushing our conversation. She returned the phone to its cradle before taking a seat at the head of the table. Wanda and I exchanged looks before I decided to speak, noticing Anna wouldn't.

"Is Sasha doing okay?" I asked gently.

Anna was staring ahead, barely listening, before she glanced at me then looked down to her empty bowl. Sentences left her lips in Russian, mumbled and incoherent, at least to me. Wanda leaned forward, holding her hand and frowning with sympathy as she listened to her words. I felt horrible, sensing something was wrong, but unable to do anything to help.

"I'm sorry, Anna, I didn't mean to upset you," I said, shaking my head.

Wanda met my gaze. "It's not your fault... Anna just misses Sasha."

I frowned. "Oh."

"But I'm glad I have you both," Anna finally spoke, accent thick with emotion, as she looked between us before settling her eyes to me. "Even if you're paid to be here."

She cracked a smile, making my shoulders relax. I returned her expression, glad she still had a sense of humour.

Anna didn't mention Sasha's name for the rest of the evening. We cleaned up, had some tea, played a quick board game before I made sure she was okay for the night.

"She alright?" Wanda asked when I closed Anna's bedroom door and stepped into the hall.

"Yeah, she's tired from all of today's excitement," I said with a smile.

"So are you by the sounds of it," she joked, but stepped forward to rest a hand on my arm. "I think we should call it a night."

"I think we should," I said in agreement.

After grabbing my stuff, Wanda and I left the flat before walking to her apartment and stopping outside.

"Thanks for helping me out today," I told her with a tired smile. "I really appreciated it."

"Well, you asked so nicely... how could I resist?" she said, staring up at me through her eyelashes. I rolled my eyes playfully, making her smile. "I had fun. Thanks for inviting me."

I was going to respond, but a yawn escaped my lips, prompting me to cover my mouth as I did.

"Sorry," I said, trying to blink the fatigue away momentarily.

She chuckled, tilting her head and watching me carefully. "You're cute."

I breathed out through my nose, unsure what to say to her words, but I definitely felt my heart rate speed up a little.

"I'll let you go," she said, clearly entertained by my silence. "Get home safe, yeah?"

"And you look after yourself when saving the world, yeah?" I replied with a quirked brow, eyes glancing at her wrist.

"I promise." She grinned before moving forward to hug me.

I returned the hug, the smell of her perfume permanent in my nose by now, before pulling away with a final smile. Of course, I probably shouldn't have stared at her lips so intensely, wanting nothing more than to kiss them.

"See you tomorrow," I said, snapping back into reality and taking a step back. "Goodnight, Wanda."

"Goodnight," she said sweetly.

I turned to leave and was suddenly wide awake. Did I just think about kissing Wanda?

—

It was a few visits later when I was caring for Anna and she decided to have a dance around the living room. One minute we were flicking through different radio stations, and the next she was putting on some old records on her record player. She settled on an upbeat, 50s dance song, the music filling the apartment with joy.

"Egor and I danced to this very song when we first met," she told me, talking about her late husband with a twinkling passion in her eyes. "It was a party and he had been staring at me all night, and I him. Then finally, when this song came on, he approached me and said, 'dorogaya, okazyvayesh' mne chest' tantsevat' so mnoy?'"

I suppressed a smile as I watched her reminisce. "And that means...?"

"'Darling, would you do me the honour of dancing with me'?" she repeated in English for my benefit.

My heart melted. "Anna, that's adorable. He sounds like such a gentlemen."

"He was," she said with a sigh of agreement, smiling to herself.

Whenever she talked about her husband, I'd never seen her look more content. The mere mention of his name was enough to put a smile on her face. I could only hope to have a love like theirs some day.

I stepped forward, putting out my hand. "I'm no Egor, but I'd love to dance with you if you'd let me."

"Oh, I can't do that," she said, waving my hand away. "I can barely walk, milaya (sweetie)."

"Hey, as your carer, I am insisting that you dance with me," I said, feigning sternness.

She hesitated, before resting her hand in mine and smiling with gratitude. The two of us danced together, myself being careful to keep her upright and make sure she didn't overexert herself. She was smiling and laughing as I spun her around, dancing her all around the living room, and it warmed my heart to see her so cheery.

A knock on the door caused me to excuse myself from Anna, only to find Wanda on the other end.

"Someone's in a good mood," she said instantly, taking note of my smile.

I stepped to the side to let her in. "Yeah, well, Anna is doing good today. It's contagious, what can I say?"

Before Wanda could respond, Anna called from the living-area with excitement.

"Wanda, idi syuda i potantsuy so mnoy!" she exclaimed, already grabbing Wanda's hand and pulling her in.

It didn't take a genius to know that Anna had basically asked Wanda to dance with her. I chuckled as I followed after them, enjoying the sight of Anna and Wanda dancing together.

"What's the occasion?" Wanda asked, glancing over the short woman and to me with a helpless smile.

"No occasion," I quipped, crossing my arms and trying to hold in my laughter at Anna's speed and perseverance with a reluctant Wanda. "Just having a good time."

Wanda looked like she wanted to retort with a comment, but Anna spun her around before she could, making me laugh aloud.

"Prikhodi odin, milaya (come on, sweetie)!" Anna said, holding out a hand. "Dance!"

Unable to resist, I joined in with the two Sokovian women, appreciating how happy Anna looked and how awkward Wanda felt in the situation. She wasn't much of a dancer, but she was trying and God was that adorable.

We danced for a little while longer until Anna's back began to hurt and she took a seat. Though, she insisted that Wanda and I resume with our dancing.

Just on time, like a sign from the universe or a higher being or whatever you wanted to believe in, a slow song came on next, filling the apartment soothingly.

To my surprise, the awkward dancer that was Wanda was oddly confident as she held out her hand to me.

"Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" she asked softly, a small smile playing on her lips.

At the familiarity of her words, I glanced to Anna, who seemed to pick up on it, too. She said nothing as she watched us with a smile of her own.

"I'd love to," I said, looking back to Wanda's eyes.

They looked blue in the light, a beautiful sky blue that put me at ease as soon as I stared into them. I slipped my hand into hers, letting her pull us closer together as she rested her other hand on my waist, the touch sending shivers up my spine. I put mine on her shoulder, allowing her to take the lead.

It was the most intimate we'd been, and as she maintained eye contact, I wondered if she could feel my hands trembling slightly, or my heart hammering loudly, or my palms turning a little sweaty. She made me nervous in the best way possible, her smile dazzling without realising and her eyes piercing without meaning to be.

She must have felt it, too, that tug in the pit of her stomach that I was feeling now. Otherwise there was something seriously wrong and I was already too deep into a crush on my patient's neighbour.

When the song ended, it feeling like mere seconds in total, she let go of me and I missed the contact and the smell of her perfume and the way she was looking at me.

"Couldn't have done it better myself," Anna spoke, forcing me to tear my gaze from Wanda's lips. She smiled at me knowingly. "You ladies definitely know how to dance."

I felt a heat creeping up my neck as I smiled to myself, distracting myself with the laces on my shoes. When I finally brought myself to look up, I saw Wanda already looking my way, a calm expression on her face.

As she did most times she visited, Wanda stayed with me and Anna until I tucked Anna into bed and bid her a goodnight. We left the apartment and Wanda decided to walk me to the lift that evening, a distracted look on her face.

It was silent between us, a comfortable one, until the doors slid open and I looked to her with kind eyes.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, making her look to me. "Have a nice evening, Wanda."

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. I watched with amusement, wondering what was going on in that pretty head of hers. The lift doors began to shut, so I put my foot between them to keep them open.

"I should go," I said with an awkward laugh, before grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently since she wouldn't speak. "Goodnight."

When I turned to leave, I got, maybe, a step into the lift before I felt her fingers wrap around my wrist and tug me backwards, spinning me around. I didn't get chance to ask what was up as she stepped forward, pressing her lips to mine in an instant.

Startled, I froze at the contact, but then her hand rested on the back of my neck as her thumb caressed my jaw, and I found myself melting into her, closing my eyes at the blissful feeling.

Her other hand fell to my waist as she deepened the kiss, sending me into the lift and the wall hitting my back. I moved my lips in time with hers, revelling at how soft and delicate and gentle she was being. Kissing Wanda Maximoff wasn't something I had realised would be this good, but now that I was, I never wanted to stop.

Unfortunately, the sound of the lift doors shutting pulled us apart. I was breathless, my heart racing and my lips swollen from her spectacular kiss.

"I've wanted to do that for such a long time," she revealed, stepping back a little. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were flushed as she watched me with mild concern. "I completely should have asked though. I'm sorry that I overstepped."

She pursed her lips, forefinger and thumb pinching her bottom lip regretfully and gaze falling to the floor.

"You didn't overstep," I said, already missing the sensation of her lips against mine. "You stepped just the right amount."

She looked back up, eyes softening as her lips curved into a radiant smile.

"You wanna, maybe, do that again?" I asked without thinking, my mind a haze as Wanda still remained so close to me.

She laughed melodiously before raising her hand and cupping my cheek. Her eyes looked between mine before falling to my lips affectionately.

"I'd love to, dorogoy (darling)."

I smiled toothlessly before closing the gap between us, secretly wishing this lift ride would go on forever if it meant I could kiss Wanda like this.

—

After making out with Wanda in the lift, she asked me out on a date and it was the best date I'd ever been on. Nothing over the top but very thoughtful as she took me for a picnic in the park before getting ice cream for dessert.

We went on a few more dates after that, taking turns to take the lead with them, and she ended up asking me to be her girlfriend which of course I said yes to.

All whilst this was going on, I still cared for Anna and Wanda paid her visits when she could, though we tried to remain as normal as possible. We didn't think it was best to tell Anna that we were together since we didn't want to startle her or make her feel uncomfortable in our presence. Of course, keeping a secret from Anna is as good as nothing when she had eyes like a hawk.

Wanda and I were putting a plate of tea and biscuits together for Anna one day, myself lining up the biscuits neatly as Wanda lingered beside me. She was about to grab a biscuit from the plate when I smacked her hand away.

"Just one," she pleaded, but I shook my head before nodding to the packet on the side.

"Help yourself to those," I told her condescendingly. "These are for Anna."

"Just get her another," she said simply, before reaching over again.

I smacked her hand away again, giving her a knowing look.

"Y/N!"

"Wanda!" I mirrored her childish smile.

She narrowed her eyes petulantly. "Are you seriously doing this right now?"

"Are you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She pouted and I so badly wanted to lean forward and kiss it away, but Anna was sat on her recliner behind us. Wanda seemed to know this as a mischievous smile fell on her lips, eyes watching me carefully.

"You're not cute," I mumbled, before grabbing the tray and turning to leave. As I was walking to Anna, a biscuit began to float off the plate, red wisps of energy wrapped around it and bringing it to– "Wanda!"

She laughed, eyes glowing red with magic, before grabbing the biscuit from mid-air and taking a bite.

"Such a child," I said under my breath before setting the tray on the coffee table before Anna. Smiling at her, I said, "Here you go, Anna. Do you want anything else?"

As I straightened up, flipping Wanda off behind my back and encouraging her laughter further, I noticed the way Anna looked between us both curiously.

"Everything okay?" I asked, eyebrows knitting together as she continued to study us both.

"Something happened," she decided. "Between you both."

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch. "Nothing happened."

"Something definitely did," she said knowingly. "I may be old, milaya (sweetie), but I have very good eyes."

"Anna, what are you talking about?" Wanda played dumb, taking a seat beside me, biscuit in hand.

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you two steal glances when you think I'm not looking," she said, pointing between us. "Or the way you," her finger settled on Wanda, "have been helping Y/N out more often than usual."

Wanda and I flushed, embarrassed that we'd been caught out. I was so certain that we'd successfully hid it from her, but clearly we were mistaken.

"We wanted to tell you," Wanda began, cheeks still pink as she leaned forward.

Anna silenced her with a wave of her hand. "Save it. I knew I was right. You two are together."

Pursing my lips, I waited for her to say something because I wasn't really sure what to say myself. Suddenly, a smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm very happy for you both," she said to us. "Wanda here always needed somebody in her life who wasn't me. And you, Y/N, are the perfect match for her."

I chuckled, looking to the girl in question, whose face was as red as her powers that she used to torment me with. I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, and nudged her in the shoulder.

"You hear that? Perfect match," I teased, making her roll her eyes to distract from her flustered self.

Anna said something to her in Russian, way too fast and incomprehensible for me to understand, even with the extra effort I was making to learn it. Whatever it was, it made Wanda get even more embarrassed, her green eyes darting around the room in an effort to overcome it.

"What did you say?" I asked Anna with amusement.

"Oh, nothing Wanda hasn't heard before," she said dismissively. "It's all okay. Isn't it, Wanda?"

"Yeah," Wanda mumbled.

"I don't know what's happening here, but I'm all for someone putting Wanda in her place," I said, looking between them both with an entertained smile.

Anna chuckled as Wanda shoved me in the arm gently before pulling me close again. I smiled at how cute she looked, pink blush creeping up her neck and teeth chewing on her lower lip to contain her smile.

I'd never get sick of the sight.

[fictionalsownme]

🌹 A Dress Dyed Crimson (fairytale au | hawks x fem!reader)

A/N: My part in the Citrus Dome Server's Fairytale!Au Collab! Click the link to see the masterlist, with all sorts of fairytale bnha content! I kind of rushed myself writing this, but I'm happy with it, and would love to make it a multi-part series at some point! It's really hard to write longer reader-inserts, so I applaud anyone that does it on a regular basis 0.0 Enjoy! 🌹

none of the pictures used are mine! If any of these pictures are yours and you’d like them removed, please let me know!

chapter two | AO3

summary: Your family has been friends of the crown for a long time, and it's only ever been a benefit to you. Until the king decided he wants to form an alliance with the kingdom of avian people next door. And he needs you to marry their winged prince to do it.

word count: 4.6k

warnings: reader is female, arranged marriage, pretty tame and sweet tbh, spoilers for hawks real name if you've somehow avoided it so far. fluff, slight angst? reader is referred to as 'beautiful', wears dresses, has two sisters. Let me know if I missed anything!

fanfic commissions are open!

“Sweetheart, there’s uh… there’s someone the king wants you to meet.”

You froze mid-chew. You met the eyes of your sisters across the table, both equally as wide as yours. It was late morning, and your family was eating breakfast. Sunlight came in through the large windows, spilling over the table and pastel walls. A few servants stood at the ready, but the room had been a peaceful quiet before your father had spoken.

You blinked a few times, hesitantly swallowed, and responded to your father’s words as delicately as you could manage.

“The king? His majesty wants me to… meet someone?” Your sisters went back to eating, slower this time. There was an unspoken suspicion already arousing between the three of you. Everyone knew the king was trying to form an alliance with the avian kingdom next door. And as friends of the royal family, your family knew more than most. The alliance was intended to be of the marital variety. But… your king had no daughters. And the avian king had only one son. At least, those were the rumors.

“Yes,” he said simply. You nodded slowly, pressing your lips together.

“What kind of someone, father?”

When he didn’t answer right away, your mother gave him (what she thought was) a subtle nudge with her elbow. He cleared his throat. “The avian prince.”

Your younger sister gasped so loud you had to slap a hand over your ear nearest to her. Your older sister stood up from her chair with a loud screech of the legs against the marble flooring.

“You’re not really going to make her marry an avian are you?! And ship her off to become the queen of a kingdom we know nothing about?!”

“Now just a minute--” Your father tried to interject, but your younger sister started up before he could.

“It’s not our fault the king doesn’t have a daughter! Don’t make her, papa!”

You heard your mother tiredly ask a nearby servant for more sugar cubes over the screaming.

“Girls! Girls!” Your father tried again. “Did I say marry? I said meet. Sit down.”

With one scowling and one pouting, your sisters lowered to their chairs. Unsure of how to feel, your face stayed blank, if slightly apprehensive. Sighing, he met your eyes.

“Things with the avian kingdom are… fragile. Our king has managed to negotiate a marriage alliance. But he has no daughters. And his sons are spoken for, anyways. The king reached out to me. It seems you girls know most of this already.”

You looked down at the ornate plates, the detailed silverware, the table decorated in pinks and creams. This was… too much. Too fast.

“Sweetheart, your older sister is spoken for, and your other is too young. Look, if you really do not want to marry the man, I will not make you. But please remember, it is the king asking, not me. At least meet him.”

“If I marry him… I’ll have to leave home? And be queen? The avian queen?”

He frowned. “Leave home, yes, I assume so. As for becoming queen, I’m not sure. We know so little about their royal policies.”

You toyed with a scone on your plate. “Would it even be safe? Would I see you guys again?”

“The king is practically my brother. You are his family, nearly as much as any of his sons. He won’t send you anywhere you’re not safe. And we’ll make sure you can visit us whenever you like.”

He paused, and when you stayed quiet, he reached across the table until you took his hand.

“Remember, this is an alliance. The king intends to make the avians his friends. With open borders and honest communication. You could send us mail, and travel back and forth however you please. And if the king doesn’t ensure such conditions for you, you can bet, as your father, I will.”

“Okay…” You said finally. “I’ll try. I’ll… I’ll meet him at least.”

Having (hesitantly) agreed to meet the avian prince, preparations were made to host him at your family manor for a week. There would be a ball as well, with the royal family, and other nobles you knew, as a sign of hospitality. Hopefully, the first of many warm welcomes for avian people.

It was only a few weeks later when he arrived, and you met him for the first time. And the decision you needed to make became infinitely less clear-cut.

You stood in front of the manor, in the nicest day dress you had, with your parents and older sister to your right, and your younger to your left. There were a number of staff waiting in a line as well, ready to greet him and take his luggage. The front gate bell had been tolled a few minutes ago, meaning his carriage would be in sight any moment now.

As far as you knew it was just him and an attendant, to drive the carriage and to well, attend to any of his needs during his stay. You wondered what he would be like. Through all this chaos and preparation, no one had mentioned what the man was like. Save that he was young, young enough to marry you. You weren’t sure if it was because his personality was too terrible to speak of, or because no one knew. You weren’t sure which made you more anxious.

When his carriage first came around the bend of trees, you noticed its height before anything else. It wasn’t colossal, just enough taller than what you were used to for you to take notice. Its body was a glossy black, with blood-red and azure-blue details. Like the window curtains, the wheels, and the ornate designs across the doors.

Two huge horses pulled it, with wide hooves and thick fur. One was a paint, the other stark black. The attendant sat in the front, steering the horses, with an overhang above him to protect from the elements. As he got closer you noticed his wings. Like a sparrow’s, you realized, dyed in all sorts of browns and blacks. They were barely larger than the length of his back. You always assumed avians could fly, but his were so small. Were all avian wings this size?

As the carriage went around the circle driveway, you realized you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. What happened if you didn’t want to marry him? Would you get in trouble? Would your father be disappointed?

The horses came to a stop and your family waited while the attendant stepped down from his seat. Would the king be mad at you? What if the prince decided he didn’t want to marry you? Would the alliance fall apart?

The attendant gave a simple, quiet bow to your family, and made his way to the carriage door. What if he was a creep? What if you moved in with the avian royal family and they didn’t let you leave? What if you never saw your family again?

The door opened before the attendant could reach it. Looking back, you’d later realize he’d been speed walking in an attempt to open it before the prince had the chance.

Oh god, what if you didn’t like his looks, and he saw it on your face as soon as he met your eyes? What if he got so offended he left before you could even speak to him? What if--

He stepped out of the carriage, ducking his wings through the narrow doorway.

Oh. Oh.

All your anxious spiraling was silenced, replaced with a lame sort of ringing sound. He was gorgeous.

He had this beautiful golden hair, that was all sorts of choppy and pushed out of his face. He had scruffy-looking facial hair that was sort of subtle, like he didn’t realize he’d forgotten to shave. You couldn’t see the color of his irises from that distance, but he had these… markings around his eyes. They looked harsh, like he was glaring. But as he broke out in a huge grin at something the attendant was saying, you realized they weren’t harsh at all.

And… my god, his wings. They were the most crimson color you had ever seen. And they were huge. The tops reached above his head, and the ends just barely touched the floor. You could tell they were massive even as he kept them folded tightly against his back. But it wasn’t just that. They looked so soft and smooth. You wanted to run your fingers along the length of them.

You realized the attendant was lecturing him, which was why he was smiling. He was laughing at him. An open, genuine laugh. One of your staff members took a step forward.

“-- pleasure to introduce my lord and his noble family.”

Your dad placed a hand at his chest and leaned over, “It is an honor to host you, your highness.”

He wore a dark tailcoat, with gold and red detailing, with a ruffled undershirt sticking out from under his sleeves and collar. He had dark leather gloves, and huge black boots. It was a strange contrast with his light skin and hair, and the vibrant color of his wings.

Through the sound of wind passing through your empty ear canal, you managed to curtsy alongside your family.

“Oh, c’mon there’s no need for any of that!” Though he dipped to bow as well. “The pleasure’s all mine, my lord.” He somehow sounded both teasing and genuine at once. His voice was light.

The house staff stepped forward to begin unloading his luggage and your father began introductions.

“This is the lady of the house, my dear wife.”

The prince shook her hand in a gesture that felt very... common. One you appreciated. “You have a beautiful home, if I may say so, my lady.”

“You may,” She smiled. He beamed and released her palm.

Your father kept going, “These are my daughters.” On instinct, the three of you curtsied again. “The oldest. The youngest is at the end of the line. And of course--,” he said your name, “--my middle daughter.”

You slowly raised your head. His dark boots crunched against the gravel as he made his way to you. You pressed your lips together at how intensely his eyes bore into yours. He stopped before you, the cheekiest of smirks on his face. But with him so close, you noticed something… more tired about the crook of his eyes.

He lifted his hand gently, palm up. “May I?”

You nodded and slid your hand into his. You knew he could tell it was shaking.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He kissed the back of your hand, with a smile that seemed to say ‘I know exactly what this is doing to you’, and looked up at you through his lashes. “I’m Keigo, Prince of the Avian Kingdom.”

His eyes were a magical shade of bronze, with flakes of bright gold, and an intensity you couldn’t yet understand.

Despite knowing you were blushing down to your toes, you tried your best at an elegant response. “The pleasure is mutual, your highness… I… I look forward to knowing you better.”

When he finally pulled away, some tension was able to leave your rigid body. He addressed your sisters and stuck his hands in the pockets of his coat. “It’s an honor to meet you ladies as well, I hope my presence isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you!”

Your sisters must’ve picked up on your change of tune, as they returned his teasing energy with equal force.

“Not at all, your highness!”

Afraid of seeming too eager (or embarrassing yourself further), you hid in your sisters’ rooms until you had to see him again.

You entered the dining room at dusk, as the sky began to dim, making room for the yellow washes of candlelight. The gold accents on the plates and walls glowed in the hazy light. You had changed into a dress that was more formal, but tried not to get too caught up in how you looked. You weren’t even sure if you liked him yet.

When you came in, Prince Keigo was entering from the opposite side. You both froze when you met eyes. His tailcoat was gone now, exposing his white sleeves. His hair was more ruffled in the back, like he’d been rubbing at it all day. He broke out in a smile. “Hi there, my lady.”

“Hi,” You said, your hand reaching the fabric of your skirt for something to fiddle with. You bowed your head in a slight curtsy. “My sisters will be down soon.”

“No problem, I believe your parents said the same thing. Should we sit?”

He seemed more unsure now that you were alone. He wasn’t the only one. “We can. Uhm, I usually wait for everyone to be seated.”

“Oh! Let’s do that then.” His wings shifted when he crossed his arms, like a shrug. It was strange to see them move, especially with how huge and silky they looked. The candlelight bounced off his feathers in a way that made them appear to glow.

“Of course, Prince.”

“Ahh, you don’t need to call me that,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Just Keigo?”

“Just Keigo.”

“Okay…” You screwed up your lips. “I’m so sorry, I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to act around you. I don’t know much about avians. I’d hate to offend you.”

His feathers bristled when his eyebrows shot up. “Oh, no stress, little dove. We’re not that complicated, promise.”

You blushed deeply at the nickname, but in a way that made your stomach flutter. You couldn’t help wanting him to call you that again. “I’m afraid I have to argue the opposite, sir-- Er, Keigo, I mean. Your kingdom seems very different from mine.”

“Let me guess. It’s ‘cause of the wings, isn’t it?”

You laughed. You quickly stifled it with a hand, reeling it back to a lady-like giggle, but Keigo was already beaming with pride. “Yes, I should think so.” You cleared your throat, but were unable to completely rid of your smile. “Uhm, if it’s not rude to say, your wings are… beautiful, by the way.”

He smirked and looked over his shoulder at one as he extended it to its full length. The sight was so mesmerizing you were almost taken back. Something as simple as stretching his wing out had you wanting to step away and move closer at the same time.

“Thank you,” he said finally. “They’re a hell of a weight to be carrying around all the time, but--” he tucked it away. “-- worth it, if only to hear compliments from equally beautiful girls such as yourself.”

You gave a small smile. To imagine you were anywhere near as aesthetically pleasing as his wings made you feel ridiculous, but he seemed genuine enough.

Dinner started up soon after that, with Keigo sat very strategically next to you. Something, you assumed, was your father’s doing. You supposed there was no reason to beat around the bush.

Keigo had to sit on a stool instead of the dining chairs the rest of you had so his wings had somewhere more comfortable to go. He claimed this alternative was fine, but it seemed sort of fatiguing to you. It was… distracting at the very least, to hear his wings shuffle behind your head, and see his hands in the corner of your vision at all times.

He had worn gloves when you first met, but they were gone now. He had big, slightly rough-looking hands, with silver rings that sometimes glinted in the light of the candles. Whenever he spoke-- or heavens allow, laughed-- it would reverberate in your ear and bounce around your head.

You didn’t eat much, honing in on all of his words with your heart trying to hammer its way through your ribs. Despite all this, you managed to retain some knowledge of the Avian Kingdom.

It had a name, for one. Though, to your disappointment, you forgot it almost as soon as it left Keigo’s mouth. He assured your family, though, that simply ‘the Avian Kingdom’ or ‘Our Avian Kingdom’ was used more often.

You learned everyone had wings there. Or almost everyone. But the royal family was special, with bigger and brighter wings than the common avian person. Members of the royal bloodline also had a ‘special ability to manipulate their feathers individually’, whatever that meant. When your sister asked to see it, however, Keigo lamented that he wasn’t allowed. It wasn’t considered ‘proper’ to use it outside of royal ceremonies.

You looked up at him, peering at his strange expression. He seemed a weird mix of annoyed and tired at this fact, while trying to mask it all with indifference. When you tilted your head in confusion, he turned to meet your eyes. His irises all bronze and gold and glowing in the candlelight.

He smiled, and you returned it, feeling less shy this time. All signs of displeasure on his face were gone as he shoved more food in his mouth. You found yourself hoping that if you did marry him, you’d one day be able to decipher all his mixed faces.

You also learned that night that he liked to eat, and seemed to have an almost unconscious favor for anything sweet. You learned that he had two laughs, one that was light and sounded the same every time you heard it, and another that was louder, more open, and harder to earn.

You learned he was perceptive. At least, to some degree. You weren’t sure how he could tell, but if your anxieties started to get to you a bit, he would tell the table more jokes until you laughed, too. If you were feeling overwhelmed, he would pull attention away from you and talk to someone else. It perplexed you a bit (Was he trying to impress you? Did he even know you knew what he was doing?) but you found it rather sweet.

Dinner passed without many hitches, though you did almost choke once, and a server brushed against Keigo’s wings accidentally and made him flinch. When it was time to retire to your rooms, you worked up the courage to ask the prince to walk you to yours. In truth, you were dying to ask him something.

He smiled-- calmer this time, seemingly more tired--, but turned to your parents before speaking.

Your father hummed. “Hm! By all means, your highness.”

“Then I’d love to, beautiful maiden.” And you started walking back together.

Soon you were in the darkening corridors towards your chambers. Wide and ornate, with marble flooring that echoed the sound of your shoes hitting the floor.

“Uhm, I just wanted to ask you something.”

“I’m an open book, dove. Uh, is that fine to call you, by the way?”

You turned beat red again, and stiffened, but hummed. “Mhm. Uh…” You started playing with your fingers again, staring down at your shoes. “I just, was wondering what you actually thought about this whole… arranged marriage thing. I’m trying to figure out the kind of man you are, but it’s sort of hard without knowing that.”

He was quiet for a while. You walked silently alongside him while he thought, but the quiet made you antsy. He finally gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Guess I gotta’ be honest, huh? You deserve that much, I’m just not really used to it… bein’ honest. Not usually with how I feel, anyway.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to go through with it,” you offered, peering up at him. “I can say no. F-for you, I mean. If you’re worried about… I don’t know, getting in trouble with your family.”

“That’s sweet, little dove. But you’re fine. I’m not so against it anymore.”

“Anymore?” You were intrigued to be sure. There was still that lightness in his voice you had started to learn, and he was still smiling technically, but he was… subdued now. Almost serious.

“There’s a reason my pops wanted a marital alliance. I didn’t want to get married, I don’t know, to anyone.” His hand fell from his neck and he shoved it in his pocket with another exasperated breath. “Felt like I had too much to do. And honestly, that I wouldn’t make that great of a husband.”

“Really? You’ve been nothing but a gentleman so far.”

“And that wasn’t a lie, or anything. But that's not really what I’m like. I don’t know, I just know how to put on a show, that’s all. Smile more, talk louder, be more… animated. That sort of thing.”

“What for?”

“Don’t know. Guess that’s just how I am around everyone… I’m someone everyone looks to, you know? Might as well be someone they can count on to always be carefree, in control.” His shoulders started to sag, like he was peeling away the persona he’d made, piece by piece. “Feels weird to say out loud.”

“Why tell me now?”

He met your eyes. Still just as beautiful, just… stern. “You have a week to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with me. 'Least I can do is show you who you’re committing to.”

You frowned. “Well, what about you? You said you didn’t want to marry anyone. What changed your mind?”

“An alliance would be… monumental for my people. Getting married to help everyone seemed as good a reason as any.”

You looked away. You were exactly the same, only agreeing to meet him for the good of the kingdom. But to hear it sort of stung now. Keigo was handsome, and really sweet. Even with this more melancholy side to him. It hurt to think that maybe he wasn’t really interested in you at all. You had been considering him for what he was, your potential husband. But had he only ever seen you as a legal proposition?

“Dove.”

He stopped in front of you. You could see the flame of the nearby candle sconce dancing in the reflection of his eyes. “I do like you. You’re a beautiful girl, and I’ve meant everything I’ve said to you. That’s why I wanted to be upfront with you about my motivations. I know it’s nothing to sneeze at, leaving home, becoming queen one day. But I hope you do decide to marry me. Not just for the alliance.”

You let him take your hand. You could feel the cold metal of his rings even through your gloves.

“We don’t know each other yet, but I’d like us to. I’m not sure if I’d make the best husband, but I’d try to, for you. And that’s the truth.”

You thought for a moment. You felt sort of bittersweet. Some of what he’d said was a bit disappointing, but the fact that he respected you enough to tell you all of it made you feel warm. And honestly, you didn’t mind this subdued side of him. And you didn’t mind that he was different around everyone else, aside from that it seemed a tiring thing to keep up. More than being upset with him, you just found yourself worried about the prince. You wished you could make him happy. For real.

“Thank you for being honest. I… I think you’re really sweet, Keigo. I haven’t decided about the marriage yet, but… I do like you too.” You took his hand in both of yours, stroking his skin with your thumb. His hands were so much bigger than yours. “I guess we have our work cut out for us this week, huh?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, and there was that dorky guy again. “Oh! Here.” He started digging through his pocket. His hand returned, this time holding a small ring with a light-colored gemstone. “You don’t have to wear it until you’re ready, but I got it for you.”

Your eyebrows raised as you took it gently, examining it. His wings started flapping slightly. Did he notice he was doing it?

“I tried to find a stone that you’d like, but I only knew your name. So it’s just, uh… the national gem of your kingdom.”

You giggled. “Thank you, Keigo. I like it.” He beamed and his wings ruffled before finally stilling. Feeling brave, you leaned forward to press a kiss to his cheek. Maybe you were being a bit forward, but the lopsided grin it earned you told you he didn’t mind.

Despite your sort of shaking, you managed to walk with him the rest of the way to your room. With a simple good night, and a slightly dorky wave through the crack of the door, the first day with Keigo was done.

As the week passed, you had many occasions to talk with Keigo alone. You gave him a tour of the manor, and the two of you cracked jokes the whole way. You went flower picking together, but abandoned the idea pretty quickly when he seemed to get antsy like a pup forced to sit still. The house staff even let you destroy the kitchen trying to bake something together.

When you were alone, he seemed to relax into the truer side of his personality. He wasn’t over the top, but he wasn’t afraid to smile or laugh, he seemed to be genuinely enjoying his time with you. If he got really hyper, you couldn’t tell the sides of him apart at all. You really believed him, he didn’t lie when he was with others, he just… ‘put on a show’.

You didn’t know when exactly you had decided to go along with the marriage, but you were pretty sure it was when he let you touch his wings for the first time. Not because they were so incredibly soft (although they were), and not because the feeling made his cheeks dust pink (although the sight was incredibly cute), but because he’d let you at all.

You got the impression letting someone touch their wings made avians feel very vulnerable. It was intimate. You still barely knew Keigo, but he was open to you. To the idea of you. And he was really trying to tear his walls down for you, one old brick at a time. If that were true… you were sure you could make a marriage work. Together.

Despite your resolve, you were shy to tell him. You were still trying to find out how when you were finding a dress for the ball.

You stood with your sisters, searching in the manor wardrobe, a beautiful dressing room with all the clothing your family had ever bought. It was the last night of Keigo’s stay. The ball was tonight.

You were only paying half attention-- still focused on how to propose to an avian prince-- as you sifted through pastel dress after pastel dress. Until… your fingers found a silky fabric. A burst of crimson in a sea of light pinks and pale blues.

You had found a beautiful red dress, unarguably dyed in the color of Keigo’s wings.

You weren’t sure where it had come from or how long it had been there-- bold dresses like these weren’t very common in your kingdom. But it was perfect. This was how you wanted to tell him. Draped head to toe in his colors, wearing the ring he got you in yours.

Your older sister peered over your shoulder. You looked over at her as she smiled, wrapping an arm around your back. Her eyes were watering… at the sight of the dress, she knew your decision. “Congratulations, sis.”

Your younger rubbed her hand over the fabric. “It’s going to look so pretty on you.”

“Yeah.” You leaned your head on your older’s shoulder, pulling your younger closer. “It is.”

Thanks for reading!! Read chapter two here!

[lady-raziel]

How broken is your Tumblr mobile?

A fun game you can play by looking at what icon of mine you have

Crankgrinchplays Among Us— NOT BROKEN! Yay! You’re able to see my current horrid festive icon! Exciting!

Cursed Mark Face Among Us by @crybox —Only slightly broken! This is the icon I had up until a few days ago! Very cursed! Congratulations!

End of Unus Annus Hourglass- A little broken! You’re only about a month out of date! So not too bad, but like unus annus, you’re running on borrowed time. Sooner or later your app is going to update, and this icon will be lost forever.

Cursed Mark Face- Fairly broken. I did have this icon for most of 2020, so it makes sense if you’re stuck on this one. However it’s been a good month or more since I’ve had this one so tbh you’re kinda out of date

Buffering Mark Face- Broken. This is the icon I had back at the beginning of 2020, circa January/February, so if you’re seeing this one your tumblr is well out of the loop I’m afraid

Festive Mark- Like a whole year behind broken. This was my icon for the holiday season in 2019, so if you’re seeing this boi then I guess it will help you to pretend that 2020 is just a bad dream and none of this has happened yet! God, I wish I were you.

Shady Face Darkiplier- Pretty heckin broken. This was my icon from about mid-November to December 2019, so just post AHWM and at the very beginning of unus annus! Only a year ago, but god it feels like a whole hell of a lot longer doesn’t it

Emo Mark/ Heistsona- Extremely broken. This icon was the result of a meme where I described Y/N in a heist with markiplier as being this sad emo mark wearing booty shorts. It was funny at the time. I promise. You had to be there. This was around the time Heist came out, so late October 2019 up until the time unus annus started.

Seiji Katayama from the comic Fence- I cant even describe to you how broken your tumblr is. This is the icon I had for a good few years before I ever started making memes or got involved in YouTube fandom. I refused to change this icon forever because 1) I love Seiji and he’s my son and 2) it was a point of pride that I would not change my icon for any reason whatsoever. And so I didn’t for years until the chance came to make a joke and then I really just had to for the meme, which then started us down the path of cursed icons you see before you.

But yeah if you still see this icon I don’t know what to tell you except you probably haven’t seen anyone’s current icons for literally years and you should probably get that checked out tbh

[solarwonux]

1. “We have to be quiet.”

67.  “You should wear that more often.”

literary agent!jin x f!reader

genre: slice of life, fluff

w.c: 2.3k

warnings: a little suggestive, nudity, lots of fluff

note: writing this made me soft lolol. I love this couple so much, they’re absolutely adorable tbh lolol. Anyway, let me know your thoughts. Enjoy.xx

MASTERLIST || PROMPTS

“Come back to mine.” Seokjin flashes you an award winning smile, sending your heart into a frenzy. It fights against the beat of the pop song quietly playing through his car speakers, while he drives through the empty streets, not a car in sight, your hand gripped tightly in his.  

“But your roommates.” You whisper even though you don’t have to as there was no one around except for you and Seokjin. Yet, every time either of you mentioned your roommates your voices would dial down, fade into a whisper like an unspoken rule. Afraid that saying their names out loud would somehow summon them. 

“It’s almost four in the morning.” Seokjin stops at a red light, bringing your palm up to his lips, lingering there for a few seconds before setting it down to his lap. “They’re likely sleeping as we speak.” He states, flooring the gas once the light turns green. The impact makes your body hit his leather seat with a light ‘thud’. 

You groan, Seokjin laughs before easing up, slowing down. He liked to do that; catch you off guard. He showered himself in your reactions only to tease you until you kissed him to shut him up. 

“Please, I leave for my business trip tomorrow night and I want to spend all the time that I can with you before I leave.” Briefly, he takes his eyes off the road, fluttering his eyelashes, winding them into flight. 

You cave, because you also do and he knew that you would have no matter what. “Fine, but you’re only going to be gone for two days.” You roll your eyes, a pretty, soft smile decorating your face. The smile Seokjin first fell in love with five years ago. It’s amazing the two of you have been sneaking around for three of those five years and never once been caught. It’s stupid but he prides himself in keeping up with appearances. 

“But it’s my first one without you.” Seokjin grimaces, pulling into the parking lot in front of his apartment building, setting his car on park and turning the engine off. The penthouse he shared with three of his friends was dark and you let out a sigh of relief. 

He was right. There wasn’t a soul awake in that house. 

You shake your head, letting go of his hand and unbuckling your seat belt. Cringing when it hits the car window. Seokjin sends you a glare, his poor precious car that he saved up for years would break if he left it in your hands. You mumble a low apology before leaning over the middle console and planting a soft kiss against his plump lips to seal the deal. 

Seokjin beams, kissing you once more, “let’s go, I don’t think I can stay awake any longer.” He says and opens his car door, jogging over to your side. You wait, knowing that if you were to take initiative in opening your own door he would throw a mini tantrum, stating: “babe I know you’re an independent woman and don’t need me but let me feed my ego every once in a while.” So you let him. 

He janks the door open, the impulse threatening to knock him off his feet. His body was tired, so was yours. But neither of you had been able to sleep after knowing that there were barely twenty four hours left until Seokjin left for his first business trip without you.

You were promoted to Chief Editor at the publishing company. No longer a literary agent or sharing an office with your boyfriend as you were now a floor higher. It had really sent the two of you off the rails for a few days. He was light years proud of you, but he missed having you around. 

Seokjin offers his hand, leaning nonchalantly against the car door, his eyes drooping, heavy with sleep. He looked adorable, “thanks Jin.” You take his hand and he lazily pulls you out of the car, his arm circling around your waist. 

“Anything for you, my queen.” He mumbles, leaning in and leaving a chaste kiss against your forehead. “Now let's go, remember we have to be quiet.” He winks, placing his index finger above his lips, his hand traveling around your waist to your hand, lacing his fingers in between the spaces of yours.

You roll your eyes and slam the car door making him jump. A knowing glare sent your way making you laugh.

 “Babe.” He whines. 

 “We’re outside and they’re fourteen stories up, asleep. Even if the car door were to wake them up they have no way of knowing it’s us. Don’t worry.” You pat his chest and walk past him pulling him along. “Plus I can be quiet when I need to.” You look over your shoulder sending him a kiss. He shakes his head, pretending to grab it mid air and then placing it above his heart, with a lovesick look on his face. 

“So cheesy.” You say, a sigh of protest leaving his lips. 

“Only for you.” 

Sneaking into Seokjin’s apartment prompted it to be harder than expected.

For starter’s the second Seokjin and you walked into the dark apartment, he bumped into the coat rack near the front door, knocking it over. It hit the floor with a loud clatter, leaving you frozen, your pulse pounding against your ears. 

Even in the dark you could see Seokjin’s wide eyes. Panic streaked past them replacing the galaxies he kept hidden behind them. The sweat was pooling against your brow when the hallway light turned on. “The kitchen,” Seokjin’s yell is coated in a whisper. His arms signaling to the kitchen in a haste. “They won’t see you if you go into the kitchen.” 

You nod, jumping over the coat rack and running into the kitchen. Squatting down behind the counter for extra precaution. A laugh stifles behind your closed lips, the adrenaline rush waking you up. This is why you and Seokjin still snuck around, not that you needed to. You were more than positive that everyone has known about your relationship for years. The two of you weren’t necessarily careful, but it was still fun. 

“I thought you were sleeping.” Namjoon says. His voice drenched in sleep, arms crossed in front of him looking down at his roommate confused. 

Seokjin stood up, bringing the coat rack with him and leaned against it. “Couldn’t sleep, pre-business trip jitters so I went out for a drive.” He shrugs.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows suspiciously. Surely he was tired as hell and didn’t want to deal with yours and Seokjin’s antics tonight. He knew you were here, your choked laugh had given you away while he made his way into the living room. But for the sake of going back to the bed that was calling out to him. So, he pretended not to know. He’s been pretending for nearly three years. Another night wouldn’t hurt. 

“Alright well good night,” He squints, bringing up his wrist and taps his apple watch, 4:30am, it reads. “Or good morning, do you still need me to drive you to the airport tomorrow night?” He scratches the back of his neck and lets out a tired sigh. 

“Yeah, that would be great, thanks man. And sorry for waking you up. I think your clumsiness is rubbing off on me.” Seokjin drags the coat hanger, the legs screeching against the wooden floor making all three of you cringe at the noise. He sets it against the wall, fixing the coats to buy time. 

Namjoon shakes his head and yawns, stretching his arms above his head. “Whatever.” He says and turns around making his way to the comfort of his room once again. 

Seokjin closes the door to his room quietly. Letting out a sigh of relief thanking all his angel’s that the only one that woke up was Namjoon and not Hoseok. The ladder would’ve made him sit down on the couch and talk about his troubles. Or if he was in one of his moods - not the bad ones - he would’ve given him a run down on how his day went in full detail. 

“So much for being quiet Jin.” You scoff. 

Seokjin turns around and walks to you bringing you in into a tight hug, “It’s not my fault I forgot the stupid coat rack was there.” He mumbles against your hair, running a soothing hand down your back. 

“It’s your place, how do you forget the way things are set up.” You pull back, tilting your head to look up at him. Maybe it was because you were close to letting the sleep take over your body but he looked more radiant underneath the dim light of his room and somehow taller than earlier. It definitely had to be your sleep deprived delusions. There was no way the man before you could’ve grown another two inches in the last three hours.

“I’m too tired to argue with you so yes baby, my beautiful lover you are right.” He nuzzles his head into your neck, tickling your skin in the process. A tiny laugh falls out of your lips. It sounds like music to Seokjin’s ears. “Do you want to change?” He stands up straight, his brows furrowed in concern, while he takes in your stuffy work attire. 

“Yes, I feel I’ve been wearing these slacks for five days straight.” You huff pulling on the legs of your pants, revealing your lavender painted toenails, wiggling them against his carpeted floor.

At around eight Jin had clocked out and snuck his way into your office asking if you wanted him to take you home. A promise to stop at your favorite burger joint failing to finish escaping his mouth when you had cut him off and told him that you had to finish the re-edits of the novel you were assigned too. Your department was heavily understaffed which meant your work was doubled, biding you to stay late after hours to be able to make all your deadlines. It worried Jin to see you so overworked, but as much as it tired you out. You loved it so he never once complained to the company. 

Plus the two of you had appearances to keep up. Can’t have everyone knowing that he was head over heels for you and vice versa. 

But at around one he started to worry after not hearing from you for nearly two hours. He called you and that’s when he found out you were still at the office. Without a form of hesitation he put on his shirt and walked out the front door, keys in hand. Telling you he would be there in fifteen minutes. Which is how the two of you ended up driving around town for the last two hours sharing fries and caramel sundae from the fast food restaurant down the street of the company. Of course a couple make out sessions here and there after he parked the car at an abandoned Toy’s R’s Us. (The ‘r’ unlit so it read Toy’s Us instead, which for some reason sent the two of you in an uncontrollable fit of laughter.) 

Now you were here, in his room, still wearing your work clothes, shoulders dropping as finally the wave of exhaustion that had been plaguing your boyfriend for a good hour hit you. 

Seokjin untangles his limbs from you and walks to his closet. “They look good on you. I had half a mind to walk into your office this morning and get a good feel.”

“A good feel of what?” You cock your head. Nimble fingers moving up to unbutton your blouse. The annoying Chiffon material scraping against your soft skin. 

“Your ass.” He states throwing you the matching shirt of one of his pajamas. “Do you want the pants?” He turns around holding the striped material in his hands, swallowing thickly as he watches you remove your clothes, leaving you naked in the middle of his room. The only thing protecting you from his prying, hunger filled eyes were the flower patterned panties you kept on. 

“No, they're uncomfortable.” You bend down picking up the pajama shirt and unbutton the first few buttons. Oblivious to the way Seokjin was looking at you right now, burning his heated gaze into your body, loving the way it seemed to glow, shimmer, underneath the moonlight casting through his wide bedroom windows. In about two hours it would disappear for the night so he made sure he imprinted the image into the part of his brain that belonged to you. 

“You should wear that more often.” He throws the pants over his shoulders and stalks over to you.

“I’m not really wearing anything.” 

“Exactly.” He smirks. 

You roll your eyes and shrug on his shirt, leaving the first few buttons undone. You walk to the right of the bed - the one nearest to the window and the wall - and pull back his navy blue comforter. “Let’s go to sleep, I’m too tired to do anything.” You lay down.

Seokjin agrees, as much as he would like to just hold you close and make love to you until the sun rises. His eyes were closing in on him and he was sure the second he felt the heat of your body and your warmth wrap around him, he’d fall asleep. 

It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. 

“I agree, there’s always tomorrow...Well I mean today but in eight hours.” He reassures, laying down on his side and bringing the comforter up to his chin. He wraps his arm around your waist, resting his head against your chest, humming as the comfort overtakes him.

You rake your fingers through his hair, placing your cheek against the crown of it. “I love you, Jin, you make me so happy.” You whisper, closing your eyes. 

Seokjin smiles, bringing you closer, kissing the sliver of skin against his shirt. “I love you angel, you make my life worth living.” 

In seconds the silence and stillness of the night takes over. Your bodies relaxing, tangled up in a mess of limbs, finally welcoming sleep.

[missbiddle]

1-50 for lesb asks 😎

Oh boy, unexpected but valid. Soz for the long post lads.

1. Butch or femme: Probs femme leaning androgynous rather than butch.

2. Type: I like femme or androgynous girls mainly but the older i get the less i care hoenstly.

3. Plaid button up or leather jackets: Leather Jackets

4. My style: Literally comfort. I really don't have a style. I just like being comfortable.

5. My aesthetic: uh... no clue.

6. Favourite article of clothing: probably..... my print t-shirts (i have many)

7. Fave shoes: Connies or thongs (or flip-flops for you non-australians)

8. Current hair: mid shoulder length plain

9. Future haircut goals: odd question, but no, just longer.

10. Best date: uh.. i honestly don't know? My most recent one was pretty amazing. Got coffee, walked and talked in the park for hours, then went back to mine and watched some weird ass tv while chatting and laughing.

11. worst date: uh just super awkward, little conversation, nothing in common.

12. Single :')

13. N/A

14. What am I looking for in potential gf/wife: Umm understanding, good vibes, love, humour, and freedom of expectations. An interest in tv media is a bonus ;)

15. Dream wedding: No thanks. Marriage very much not me.

16. Kids: Nope

17. Live anywhere in the world: Um.... here? I can't say any other countries or anything coz i don't actually know what it's like to be there. But in some fantasy idea of a place, England.

18. Favourite Lesbian movie: Toss up between Imagine Me and You and But, I'm a Cheerleader.

19. Fave lesbian novel: Can't say i've specifically read one tbh.

20. Fave lesbian song: All the Things She Said by T.a.T.u lmao.

21. Fave lesbian musician: Don't really follow any in particular but uh maybe LP? or i dunno, Hayley Kiyoko. or Tash Sultana? I like like a song of theirs each but wouldn't say they are my fave. Maybe the Versonicas, but only one is gay lol.

22. Lesbian stereotype i fit into: Uhhh the "tomboy" stereotype i guess.

23. Ever assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal: don't really understand the question but dont think so

24. How to woo me: Uh, talk queer media to me, or media analysis, or game shit, or dnd nonsense.

25. What do you like most being a lesbian: Women and no men lmao

26. Cat or dog: dog 100%

27: Turn ons: Kissing and gentle touch (like body stroking etc)

28: Turn offs: depends on the person, but dirty talk during sex kinda ruins it for me

29. Do i ask women out or they ask me out: On dating apps, I ask out, in person, I wait you for them.

30. Dream Career: To write for/create tv animation

31. Interests and Hobbies: Media analysis, media watching, dnd, gaming, drawing, animating.

32. Most attractive quality in a woman: Uh i guess understanding and patience?

33. Love easily or warm up to them: Complicated. I fall in love very quickly, however, it's often not a long love. Fleeting love.

34. Ever fallen for best friend: Oh yeah.

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl: Countless times. Fave thing to do honestly.

36. The L-Word yes or no: Big yes for nostalgia and for meaning. Means a lot to me. Also acknowledge how trash and problematic it was/is. But it was a staple in growing up as a lesbian in a time when that wasn't being shown on tv.

37. Fave comfort food: Honey Joys (look em up non-australians)

38. Coffee or Tea: Tea

39. Vegetarian or Vegan or nah: Big nah. Omnivore all the way.

40. Any pets: Two greyhounds, three frogs, and a cockatiel.

41. Early-rise or night owl: both lmao it's not ideal.

42. Sign: Virgo

43. Can I drive: Yes.

44. First lesbian crush: Either Eliza Dushku in Buffy or my best friend in grade 5/6.

45. What age did i know i was a lesbian: I didn't know what a lesbian was until i was about 13, and realised i was one like a month after that.

46. Coming out age: 14.

47. Crushing on anyone: Yes, very much so. Like huge, butterflies, can't stop thinking about her level crush.

48. How my day went: atrocious day at work.

49. Dreams/aspirations for the future: Finish uni, start writing scripts for my proposed animated show, and get a job in academia. Maybe find a gf, who knows.

50. Least fave gay celebrity: don't really pay enough attention to celebs in the sense of actually caring about them as people so no idea.

[cryptidofthekeys]

The man, the myth, the legend himself... Dr. Greer

I said I’d post him on my mind, i am over my anxiety, i have beaten it, it can no longer control me and I am going to make it absolutely e v e r y b o d y ‘ s problem... I will say his description is p old but in all honestly this is mostly for just what he looks like

| Name: Greer

| He doesn’t really have nicknames but uh his title essentially: Dr. Greer

| Gender: Trans FTM (He/Him)

| Age: Probs in his 30s/mid 30s

| Height: 5’2”

| Species/Race: Human

| Occupation: Doctor

| Hair Color: Dark Brown (Spiked Quiff)

| Eye Color: Dull Blue

| Skin Color/Body Type: Extremely pale and chubby

| Appearance: His main outfit is the white lab coat for starters, he wears a light pastel purple turtleneck underneath (that turtleneck actually has a breast pocket with a heart pattern stitched onto it) and similar colored pants as well and even down to his sneakers are the same light pastel purple color, he also wears glasses bc he needs them to see of course- (not circle ones, normal rectangular ones) he sometimes wears gauges but mostly when he’s not working, he doesn’t have any pointed ears, fangs, claws, etc- but he has painted his nails to match his pastel aesthetic essentially!

|

He mostly only has scars in like the AUs n shit, his most PROMINENT scarring would be his top surgery scars likewise which no matter the AU or canon he’s gonna have those I guess he does have like, stretch marks n such. And of course he has a circle beard, it’d be weird for a sona of mine to NOT have one.

| Personality: He’s pretty soft tbh, a kind caring soul, as sweet as can be and loving as can be, the man just wants to live a peaceful life honestly, he became a doctor to help out the sick because helping people was always one of his specialities so he figured why not, he loves taking care of those in need and providing them with the comfort they may need, he’s very compassionate and EXTREMELY hard to piss off actually, like there isn’t a mean, cruel, or bad bone in this dude’s body… He just wants to help people and take care of them, he just wants peace man- there’s not a lot of backstory for him tbh-

|

well okay like ALL sonas relating to me- Greer didn’t have the best relationship with his parents, this man is not known for hatred but uh..

He do be kinda hating his old folks a l o t- they put him through so much fuckin bullshit but those are the ONLY two he’ll EVER say he hates tbh other than that  the mans just wanna live his life and spread peace, kindness, and love like what more do ya want? Lmao- but that’s about it-

|

I will say Greer do be kinda havin issues standing up for himself, he’s not good at at confrontation, with yelling or anger from others in the slightest but uh luckily he’s got a certain friend who won’t tolerate anyone else’s shit toward him and he doesn’t have to worry with confrontation himself. …mans still need to learn to stick up for himself too tho.

[petals42]

hello! whenever you get a chance, i'd love to hear your thoughts/advice on attempting longfic and following through on longfic. hope you're having a great day!

Hello! Of course, I’d be happy to offer my advice, such as it is.

1. Don’t think of it as writing longfic.

You can really psych yourself out if you declare that you are setting out to write a longfic or even if you are setting a goal of trying to hit a certain word count (or range of words). Just tell yourself you are going to write the story you want to write; write the words you need to tell the story. Every longfic I’ve written has lowkey been an accident; otherwise I freak myself out and don’t write them. Also not worrying about word count avoids falling into the trap of unnaturally “stretching out” scenes or adding unncessary scenes that will actually only slow down/hurt your story in the long run.

2. Write chronologically.

This might just be me, but it is one of my golden rules. Usually the scenes I really want to get to are in the middle/towards the end (aka like... the climax). If I skipped ahead and wrote them, there’s no way all the harder opening scenes would get done. So I am very strict with myself. Sometimes I will write like a line of dialogue that comes later if I really don’t want to forget it, but I try not to. And I find it easier to weave in foreshadowing and realistic character development if I’m writing in order.

3. Keep track of scenes you want to write so you don’t forget them.

This is going to be very based on your preferences; I am not a planner or outliner. But I do generally have a bullet point list of scenes that need to happen in a rough order. I sometimes do not actually follow it and scenes usually get added (a lot of scenes get added tbh. like HUGE chunks of my fics are just on the fly ideas, you would not believe) but it’s helpful to know where you are going. (If you are someone who likes to outline and plan, let me know. Some writers have done amazing how-to-outline posts. I just am not organized. Even the one outline I have is just rough bullet points that rarely gets followed).

4. Stop writing mid-scene instead of at the end of scenes. 

This helps me get back into it the next day/next time I have an opportunity to write. At times I’ve even gone midsentence if I am pretty sure I will remember how that sentence is supposed to end. 

5. When you start writing, re-read at least a chunk of what you wrote the day before.

Like #4, it just helps me get back in the mood.

6. Go ahead, post that WIP.

I know some authors do not want to do this and some readers hate this, but I like to start posting WIPs when I am about 3-4 chapters ahead. Like I will post Chapter 1, when I am writing Chapter 4. Since I tend towards longer chapters (7-10k), this is a decent chunk. For me, that is a big enough buffer that I won’t feel pressured to write and I should be able to update roughly once a week, but I will (hopefully) get the encouragement and excitement from kudos/comments to get me through some of the slog of a longfic. And, hey, if life happens and you don’t finish it, you still gave them half a great fic. No pressure either way.

7. Stop reading fic - use that time for writing! Also, it’s bad for your confidence.

I have to cut myself off from reading fic when I’m writing especially fic that is in the same fandom. I literally just fell into this trap. I wrote 2k of an old guard fic in a setting, decided to give myself a break to read some fic, and then I was like “ah shit this is good I don’t need to write mine urgh mine cannot live up to this. i hate it and don’t even know where i was going” and I literally have not written since. All because I broke my own rule! Don’t do it! Just stay away from the fandom you are writing in!

8. Take your time and have fun, but be consistent.

This, again, may just be me. But if I’m going to do a longer fic, I have to commit. Generally, my fics stall out if I’m going more than 7 days between writing sessions. At that point, it’s a sign the story isn’t on my mind that much and that makes every writing session harder to get back in that mindset. Obviously, life happens, but if you find yourself going weeks between writing at all, it’s going to be harder. See what you can do to make a system where you writing (at least a little) as often as possible.

9. Be chill with smaller writing sessions.

You don’t have to write an entire scene or chapter in a day! It’s still a win if you can sneak on before bed and add at least a few lines. I am literally trying to reteach myself this rule right now because I’m putting too much pressure on myself to write big chunks and thus “only bothering” to start writing when I know I have an hour or two to do so and I need to stop! So putting this on for you, but also for me.

Well, I was going to try to get to an even ten, but this is all I got. Also, thank you for sending me this ask. Not only is it an honor to be asked, but as I am starting to try to write a fic that I think will be longer for the first time in a while, these were pieces of advice that I really needed to remind myself!

Hope you have a good one! :)