#mfer is Satan at this point

[ozaitheestallion]

Calling it now. Ozai is responsible for Lu Ten dying. His and Iroh’s mother is dead because of him. He also killed Iroh’s wife. He secretly went to Ursa’s home and killed her parents. He made a very realistic mask of that one fire bender and killed Katara’s mom. He’s responsible for Toph being blind. It was ACTUALLY him who killed the moon spirit! He went back in time and made Sozin go bad AND he wiped out the Airbenders all by himself! He went even further back in time and created Vaatu, the spirit of all evil that’s still somehow no match for him! He’s responsible for every bad thing that happened to every avatar ever!

Cut to the theme song:

[itstimeforstarwars]

Everyone who had memorial day weekend off just got that canceled by the new store manager, who is clearly trying to speedrun being the most hated manager in this region.

[chunkymamatam]

The Obey Me! stories were very entertaining 😊

If you dont mind sharing more, I would appreciate it ❤️

Of course Of course!

Again this was all really fast pace when it happened so like if it seems like so much happened at once, it did, now imagine how that shit felt when it happened.

We were at when Asmo got all pissy and defensive when him and Satan asked me who I'm making a pact with next. I was joking like "You, Asmo, obviously, cutie."

The way this man was like "Do you think I'm that stupid? None of us are as Stupid as Mammon"

I was obviously like "It was a joke."

All this man had to say was "oh"

BITCH APOLOGIZE CUZ YOU ASKED AND I MADE A JOKE WHY'D YOU ASK HOE??? This all happened before I made a pact with Levi idk if I mentioned that but yeah. Nah cuz imma be honest it scared the piss out of me to see Levi try to pounce on me because I got all the trivia questions from the anime right and he couldn't believe I wasn't cheating. The others were however giving me easy questions but that wasn't on my command lmfao

He was a pouty baby when he admitted defeat in the observatory /aff, but yeah not long after I went up into the attic I was in the kitchen and Mammon force fed me Beel's pudding. Bro tried to turn Beel on me and I literally started crying bro. This man is huge and I already have a fear of men so this was not helping bro. I also know how food aggressive he is so I dead ass thought this was it. He asks me if I ate the pudding and I threw Mammon under the bus and was like

"He forced me to take a bite. I told him to put it back."

I've never seen a man's head turn so fast. Man was gonna murder tf out of him. He threw him through the wall and shit. I had to stay in Beel's room for a while cuz that destroyed my room lmfao and pretty soon after that Luke showed up on the doorstep cuz he had a fight with Simeon probably over his prejudice against the demons but I didn't ask so eh. Me and Beel decide to hide him like a good friend and this mfer goes missing. I get there to the basement fast enough that that he's not gonna rock Luke's shit but like he's still pretty pissed so like the traumatized mediator I am, I walk over and grab the book from him and go.

"Hold on, Luke doesn't even know what this is and what it does. There's no need to be hasty, you're a very reasonable man Lucifer. Here's the grimoire back." and I almost had him calmed down enough to see reason and fucking Luke snatched the book out of my hand, I could've beat his ass myself ngl.

I forget what he said to Lucifer but it pissed him off to the point of wanting to kill him again and he threatened as much so Beel jumps in front of him and is like "No punish me instead because its my fault! I let him stay in my room."

So now Lucifer is trying to kill both of them and I tell him no. This man has the audacity to ask my suicidal ass if I wanted to die. I gave this man a look and he realized who he just asked and was like "Actually don't answer that.. One of them is dying. You're going to choose"

I was like "uhm no one is gonna die." This man starts yelling at me that I'm just a human and all this shit about how weak I am. Well, my stubbornness makes up for my lack of physical strength so fuck you lmfao. Anyway he mauled me and I woke up in Beels bed, he looked so relieved that I woke up poor man. He offered me a pact cuz he felt like he owed me and I didn't want him to feel like he was indebted to me or anything so I said yeah to it.

Then the sleep over happened. Man Asmo was wild because he one got us sucked into a labyrinth by his Ex and also he was literally trying to use his charm on me which like why tf are you looking in my eyes like that??? Its hurting autism. Anyway we almost died cuz of his bullshit. That was just the first day too. The next day this man was fucking up the scavenger hunt for the other groups and it was making me and Simeon uncomfortable and Simeon said something which probably hurt his feelings more because they used to be brothers in heaven. He ran off after bitching Simeon out and then I got sent to try and speak some reason to him.

He didn't like that either cuz he was like "You can't tell me what to do. I'm a demon this is what demons do, they ruin things and by the way I'll never make a pact with you." And while he was talking all this shit he was cornering me between the rail and himself. I was so scared he was gonna throw me over and just say I killed myself. Then he has the audacity to be like "Actually if you can get a picture of Lucifer sleeping I'll do it" And I just nod my head cuz I'm fucking terrified bro. I tell Mammon, Levi and Beel we agree to go on and try to do it cuz money, spite, fuck it? idk. but what's important is we got stuck in the dungeon again with Solomon this time. We almost get eaten but Solomon summoned Asmo and did some magic shit so Asmo could better charm this snake. We ended up getting out again but Asmo was whining about his beauty sleep the whole time /Pf. Not long after that (I think? Its been 2 years almost give me a break please sob) during the dinner ball thing that Diavolo did when Lucifer was making his way over to threaten me, I was so violently trying to avoid him. I ended up getting passed to him anyway. I wanted cry man. This man was pretty much trying to crush me against him while saying shit like "I don't know what you're planning but you need to stop before i make you."

BESTIE I HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING INTENTIONALLY PACT WISE OTHER THAN WHAT I WAS FORCED TO AND WHAT WAS NECCESSARY PACT WISE. Nah cuz I shit you not I literally never asked for a pact with any of them other than Mammon and Levi, They all came out and asked me and for one reason or another I was like "fuck it we ball." Anyway, Funny little side note, instead of packing my actually pretty dresses/outfits that were good enough for this occasion Barbatos ended up packing my sequence dress. I've asked him why he hates me on multiple occasions because of it and its our little joke now. He said "I simply did not see the other options" smh time demon, for shame /j

Solomon saved me from Lucifer and the unlocked my magic power for me to use. Well dumb dumb Mammon (/aff) got us stuck in the labyrinth AGAIN and I summoned Asmo and Asmo was like "OOOO Power GIVE. we can make a pact teehee" I'm gonna be honest I agreed to the pact because genuinely that man kinda scared me. We obviously end up getting out and that night Asmo was all up in my bed just looking me over and pointing out all of my details. He was fr even trying to look in my mouth bro ┗( T﹏T )┛

Mammon's jealous ass came in after Asmo basically illuded to trying to fuck. Then one thing lead to another and all of the brothers and Solomon ended up in the room. Someone threw the first pillow and suddenly it was an all out warzone until Lucifer and Diavolo walk in to see what the commotion was. Lucifer wanted to yell at us but Diavolo stopped him and wanted to join. It was no longer a war and just a straight up massacre after that bro.

Lucifer said "hit me if you dare" and obviously I didn't value my life because as him and Diavolo are killing everyone with their deadly ass heat targeting pillows I sneak up behind this man and smack him in the back of the head with a pillow. I shit you not the room froze and he started slow turning I SWEAR HIS EYES WERE GLOWING

I started praying and begging Simeon to help me lmfao I have never run so fast in my life. I managed to hide with Simeon under the covers. I was terrified in the best way lmfao

Okay that's all the mental energy I have for this one. Feel free to ask for more if you want lol

[vampirevatican]

Obey Me Headcanons

part 1: Language and Race/Ethnicity

DISCLAIMER: keep in mind this is with the thought of them being humans, or mainly for fun nd adding more melanin and culture specifics to the cast

Lucifer

german white, no debating.

he knows every language and long dead languages

but don't you dare try to get him to understand slang

the second he uses it, it sounds weird coming from him and almost corporate

not that he doesn't know or understand the slang, it just doesn't suit him

Mammon

this is a black man. a light skinned black man.

not even talking on canon at this point, bc that's obvious

the confidence and amount of flirtation he exudes?? yeah this mfer knows he's pretty and therefore he's a light skin

because it's mammon, i think he knows languages from the richest countries or countries with the most casinos or game money related things?? (which could easily be all with how much he's been to the human world)

multilingual but ik this bastard doesn't practice and probably only knows how to get himself out of trouble, get around and flirt

Leviathan

who am i if i didn't say he knows english, japanese and korean

and obviously it's for the fandoms and content he enjoys

anyway he's blasian bc i make the rules, and there's enough stuff in canon to make me think this

either he's blasian or it's social/cultural osmosis from mammon, but he doesn't use aave wrong...

don't ask me how ik, you just had to be there

anyway if he was white he'd be pasty af, but bc of my blasian headcanon he's a bit tanned and yet not a lightskin

Satan

another given but he is multilingual, even knowing dead languages (overachiever/in the pursuit of knowledge)

white, but slavic

russian specifically

as badly as i wanna say he's pale? i can't bring myself to do that, so average

Asmodeus

white yes, but french

yes it's because the french language is associated with love why else

i wanna say he knows living languages bc i can see him meddling with humans quite often

this mfer started a war just to goof

skin tone?? a little bit of color to him, bc he's not a homebody

Beelzebub & Belphgor

Hispanic, specifically afro-latin

They know spanish, latin and english

Now do i like the concept of one of them being lighter toned? yes but not light skinned

these two don't have that energy so

beel is brown, belphie is dark

bonus points for vitiligo belphie (yes cowboy/bull things and demon transformation)

Diavolo

latin. hispanic... this one is a no brainer

ofc he speaks latin, spanish and english but mainly uses english bc he hears that it's the most used language

he is, technically, lightskin but it's not lightskin (derogatory)... do you understand??

he has a charm but it's not like he knows that for certain and is flaunting it the way mammon or asmo would

Barbatos

because of a name like this... id like for him to be black, but a dear friend raises the thought of him being asian

so yes another blasian or just asian, specifically from china

this suits him not only because he looks good in a montsuki (male kimono) but because of age

he is simply, one hell of a butler

if we're going with just asian, i wanna say not pasty skin tone but like... definitely fair

if blasian? then dark skin, i just think it'd go nice on him with his color palette

Simeon and Luke

A dark skinned mother and her black baby

Luke is a sassy but sweet child, i wanna say he's brown skinned or the same tone as simeon?

Simeon is a dark skinned, beautiful, man and you will never take that from me

Luke is learning other languages but he knows english, spanish and japanese

Simeon is multilingual, it only makes sense to me

Solomon

and... solomon is white

definitely learning dead languages at this point but please don't ask him to translate everything

he knows english easily bc it's his native tongue, specifically BRITISH/OLD ENGLISH

but anything else takes the gears in his mind to start churning so he can't just take something in mandarin and quickly translate it to english

he's pasty... again im biased so not as pasty as levi (if we go with white levi canon) but he's close

[xxswagcorexx]

oooooh you wanna talk about fallen angel ash and red soo badly /nf

omg so i got 2 asks about them, so i’m gonna split my ramble into 2 asks ^_^ starting off with red and ash respectively and how they’re paradise lost coded! (get ready for a longgg post under the cut)

ok so i’m gonna. tldr paradise lost for a second but basically paradise lost is about satan’s fall from grace (but this is. literally bible fanfic so basically it explores more themes than the actual bible does) but red is soooo adam coded and ash is (semi) lucifer coded to me .

starting off with adam: the reason he ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge is because he loved eve so much that, in that moment, he couldn’t even begin to imagine the tragedy that was about to happen because of that. even if he knew it was wrong. the only thing that mattered in that moment was himself and eve and he the fact he was willing to do anything for her. and that was the tragedy of the fruit being eaten. because right after he ate it, all of the love he had for eve seemed to disappear away and be replaced with hate and bitterness. (and the love wasnt enough)

so uh. tying this back into reddoons. his guy is willing to follow people to the ends of the earth, even to the point of self destruction. so just. the idea of red being a fallen angel who just wanted to do what was right. but what he thought was right wasn’t the “right” choice because he wasn’t following the orders of god. he just did hat he thought was right in the moment, but it wasn’t really right. and as a result he lost everything he ever knew and became the thing he swore never to be. also insert team chaos parallel here and i am SOOOO bonkers over this ver of fallen angel red u DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

now. on the other hand, ash being a fallen angel is because of an entirely different reason. in my brain

i mentioned he’s (semi) inspired by lucifer and. well tbh a lot of themes Do match up with a lot of ash’s mantras and i just find it sooooo fascinating. MOVING ON basically the reason why lucifer was created even though god knew he was going to rebel and being his beloved humans into sin was because lucifer represented free will and without free will there wouldn’t be love. so like. his creation was kinda a needed sacrifice as a result. anyways eventually when gods son/jesus was created (dont. question the timing btw god is above time so Ignore the time) lucifer was extremely jealous because although he was the most powerful angel, he wasn’t Exactly on gods level. (also bc of this he invents sin and later death but that’s irrelevant to the inspiration i get for ash)

but eventually lucifer caused a rebellion and upon god INVENTING PAIN TO DEFEAT HIM, satan decided to jump off of heaven instead of facing god himself. (also bc he represents free will he Chose to fall as well as rebel against god which is very. ashswagcore. to me)

but yeah i am just. bc of that the idea of ash being a fallen angel by choice and as a rebellion against god is just. very Him i think yk? the jealously. the willingness to do the impossible because of his ego. the way he’s very tied into themes of freedom and rebellion i think. (basically all of lucifer’s only positive traits because. mfer invents sin and death and caused humanity to fall. uh)

so ya! thats the ideas of both of them i have rn. i have a Ton of thoughts abt their relationships which i will elaborate in the next ask but. man they make me soooooo. i am ill in the head abt their themes and how paradise lost plays into it . man.

[tenshindon]

every now and then i remember the epilogue story where yamcha almost won at the world tournament but decided to let mr satan take the win so he would maintain his reputation

[certified-boyliker]

Pet Names (Obey Me! Brothers)

Hey, I'm alive

---

Lucifer:

He doesn't have many of them

He's possesive, but not to the point where he has pet names for you

My darling, Love, Mine

The names are possessive, though

Mammon

You definitely get pet names from him

Of course he would, you are his partner

Cutie, sweetheart

He doesn't have many, but he expresses his love through how much he hugs you

Leviathan

He's also semi-possesive, being the avatar of envy and all

But he doesn't call you by pet names, since that's something "normies usually do"

And he's not that creative when it comes to pet names

Satan

No, not kitten or anything like that

He likes being called kitten and i will happily call him that

Darling, Cutie, Little Bookworm

Kinda sweet

Asmo

Has a large amount that he switches through

I mean, he already has a bunch of pet names already

Darling, Honey, Sweetheart, My Cutie, Beautiful, Angel

Just so many names

Beelzebub

Not that many

But he has a few

Sugar, Baby, Love, Cookie

He's so sweet, you should all know I love him

Belphegor

Ahhh, Belphie the mfer who killed me

He also doesn't really have any

Sweetheart, Softie

He thinks your soft, cause you work as a nice pillow

[omegawolverine]

go deep and talk about why you really like a south park character in the way dsmpblr makes whole essays about c!tommy :>

everyone probably thought this was gonna be about craig but surprise...pete supremacy moment.

now, i need to make this clear to my mutuals who dont watch south park: pete appears as a main character in about 3 episodes and a background character in like 5-7. dude doesn't have much screen time compared to a lot of other characters. on top of that, he doesnt really have a character arc all by himself; basically, where you see him, you also see henrietta, michael and/or firkle, in almost every case. i say all that to say he is still probably the most well rounded goth and there is also these small little details about him that make me feel fucking crazy but in the best possible way. like, for starters, this mfer drinks his coffee black to look hardcore but he has been seen throwing heaps of sugar into it afterwards, which none of the other goths do. also, he's an absolute fucking cunt, but he genuinely cares for his friends a lot. example: in goth kids three dawn of the posers s17e4, henrietta is sent away to a camp called troubled acres and she returns emo, which is a huge shock to all the other goths bc they hate emos and its a whole thing where michael firkle and pete then have to get help from the vamp kids despite having previously burnt down hot topic and sending their leader, mike, to scottsdale, arizona via fedex and then after recruiting the vamp kids they summon edgar allan poe who's a little bitch baby in death much like he was in life. now, doing all this shit really shows how much the goths care for each other already right? well, tldr is that what they thought was essentially a goth conversation camp controlled by plants was actually just a set up for a tv show and the producers were tricking some old dude into thinking that the plants were actually making him convert goths to emos. this obviously fucked with the few people who were supposedly "converted" to emo via "plant mind control" when they found out, henrietta included. she couldnt believe that she flipped sides so easily and there was no actual mind control involved and, to make matters worse, her two other goth friends (firkle excluded bc he was also "brainwashed") saw this happen and found out that the truth was just that henrietta was gullible enough to fall for it (i mean. she's like 9-10 ofc she did). so what did pete do? the fucker lied. he essentially back tracked on the truth to tell henrietta "no actually we defeated the emo brainwashing plants just now!" and she made a whole dramatic show of "changing back" after pete said this. and he said it just to save her from the embarrassment of having been emo for no reason. king shit imo. also him and the other goths canonically pick up sad conformists to gothify which i think is funny but also very telling of the fact that they're actually nice people who want to help others, even if their ways include horrendous poetry circles and satanic rituals.

but like. that all being said, on a physical level, pete has both the best and worst possible appearance (/nsrs obviously, there is some downright HORRID combinations made in this bitch but yall get my point. this is both a lame outfit and one that i think i would hate if i saw it on a real person) on the show and i mean this in the most loving way. grey shirt. black pants. red bolo tie. purple creepers. red roots. pox marks. he is canonically seen as kinda ugly so he dresses goth bc being goth is more noticeable than being ugly. this is literally a point made in the show. and i think that is both fucking hilarious and really sad.

anyways. idk how much more i can say about this dude bc of how little the show gives him but i would die for more of him in canon. like i just wanna see him and the homies front and center again. but, before i end this, imma give you a bonus fun fact that i think is very on brand and says everything you need to know about the goths Ever in one shot. in the south parq vaccination special the goth kids are seen in the only black masks in the entire episode (as far as i recall) stealing vaccines for themselves. icons, truly.

[anitahylandsworld4u]

#MADDAWG54

For months, I have agreed with a statement that Nancy Pelosi made to trump saying all roads from him lead to putin. At this point in time, I'm not sure if that's completely accurate, unless putin is actually satan. I say this because, my belief now is, all roads from trump lead to hell. I just found out about a new book by Washington Post reporter, Bob Woodward. In many interviews with trump, he tells many things about trump and the coronavirus. Put it this way, I called it the trumpvirus, and from all I know now, that IS what it should be called, in this country anyway. On February 7, he told Woodward that this virus would be more "deadly" than the worst flu. Additionally, he knew that, left unchecked, it would take many lives. He also said he "wanted to downplay the threat." Woodward plans to publish all of the taped interviews with trump. What it amounts to is, we could have reduced the death rate by 50%, and the cases by a larger rate than that, if we would have had widespread mask mandates. Besides that, the stupid Mfer knew about this thing, at the time it was said he did, the first of the year. This is friggin September, for God's sake. Look how much time he wasted playing golf, when he could have been going with what the Scientists were telling him. He could have been preparing this country and acquiring greatly needed PPE and other supplies, like medical supplies and ventilators. He was too busy calling it a HOAX and accusing the Democrats of spreading propaganda. And, my mind keeps going back to those stupid, fucking republican senators, refusing to remove him, saying, "How much more can he do ?" Well now that all you stupid ass republicans have seen for yourselves, how much more he could do, I hope every damn one of you loses your seat in the House and Senate ! I've got more, but I need to have a drink and calm down first, before I continue.