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[phantomram-b00]

I feel Aziraphale is not talk about as much as people would talk about Crowley (whether it about season 1/2), so as this show will have me on a chokehold for who know how long, I wanna talk about my favorite character, Aziraphale or Mr. Fell if you will. Now warning I will say stuff regarding season 1 or 2 (so spoiler warning ahead)

I not going to pretend, when I first watch the show all the way back in 2019/2020, my first favorite was Crowley, because his personality: he say it what it is, cunning and above all is very complexing to analyze between his deep love for earth by encouraging a eleven year old boy to say “fuck you dad” in order to save humanity to how he still doesn’t consider himself to be a morally good person, he very much fit in the realm of a grey hero or anti-hero if you will. I still very much love Crowley, I do say, David Tennant absolutely kills it for his range of being a sly cynical demon to an immortal who just willing to risk everything for the sake of humanity and for Aziraphale in a drop of a hat. However this isn’t about best boy, this is about the other best boy, the Angel with the heart of gold: Aziraphale. As now in retrospect, Aziraphale became my number one favorite character and he need his spotlight just as much Crowley.

When we first see him, you can see with the mannerism that he isn’t like any of the other archangels. You can see all the archangels are stiff and rigid whether that is their posture or their attitude towards everything and how blasé they are about armageddon. (Or even when they tell Job that they going to have seven more kids after their other three died for the sake of winning a bet against Satan.) with Aziraphale he more expressive, like he literally maybe the only Angel besides Muriel that smiles as much as he does. He still is rigid like them, but I feel that is him trying to blend right in with them and trying to mask himself for not trying to be the odd one out even thought no matter what, he still is shown to be different than the rest of him. The very first scene is when Gabriel comments on how Aziraphale eats despite angels not having the necessary to eat (Season 1 Ep 1) or even the biggest one: the garden of Eden. He gave away his own sword just to make sure Adam and Eve are safe, even Crowley didn’t see that coming as angels would even dare try to do so let alone interfere with whatever God’s planning in their agenda to fuck with humanity. Plus that, you can tell that as Crowley talk how “why is it so bad for mortals to know the difference between good and evil” you can see him question it before responding with “so they don’t get tempted into it”.

Aziraphale was rule-breaking everything since day one (on earth); yet still is trying to convince everyone plus the audience that he’s really is “the good guys” until he’s blue in the face. Buddy, Aziraphale, you’re quite literally the only morally good besides Muriel about everything. Hell him befriending Crowley is probably the biggest risk he toke, and he doesn’t regret a thing about it. Probably saying “But Phantom, why you say that even after what happen with season 2?”, Because my good ole Good omens enjoyer! It because Crowley treats Aziraphale like an person rather than his adversary even thought their hereditary enemies. Something that Aziraphale never even knew he needed until they had the conversation at the garden of Eden. Aziraphale just wanted someone who constantly remind him that he’s different, he already knows that, you can tell by his body language and expression.

Prime example, when they meet again was when the world was going to flood (season 1 episode 3) when Crowley meet with him again, he still is rigid but as Crowley asked about the flood, you can very much tell he’s against it. Especially when kids were mentioned. He absolutely hates this idea, but he can’t say anything about it since he’s an angel and giving the implications might have fear that if he show any disagreement with the Lords plan will ostracized more than he already is by his peers or “worse” he falls. He even tries to hide his feelings by telling Crowley that “oh don’t worry, God will make a rainbow and it’ll all be better” to then say “we can’t judge for it is ineffable” and there’s great hesitation as he say this. His face is readable like an open book but if that book had brightly colored words written on his forehead to tell how exactly he feel and he was just say “oh don’t worry it fine. It fine!”. He want to hold on to the fact that this all have some purpose for the greater good; despite that he looking at everything with rose color glasses. Hell he does this again when it come to Job (Season 2 episode 2) when the archangel said “oh yeah, Crowley have all rights to kill off his goats, house, and his three kids. But! We going to give him new goats, house, and kids. Did we mention seven more kids” which like….I don’t know about y’all, but them being all chill about replacing their three kids very much is telling. Aziraphale is mortified about this, and even try to speak out against but of course, the archangels told him to not worry about it and don’t question it. But Aziraphale just can’t do that, he have a plethora of question and even doubts of all this, he can tell that this is not right, he the type to follow his moral compass and heart, but also nearly cry when he think he going to Hell.

Which, speaking of that last part, the conversation might possible confirmed one or two things. One of them being that this might have been the first time, Aziraphale toke off his mask if you will and two, confirms just how alone he is at his own side. You see him in a way question everything that happen, and when Crowley come immediately jumps to say “I’m ready to go now.” only for Crowley to say “I’m not taking you anywhere because you wouldn’t like it there” and then, we got to see Aziraphale wall break; he think just because he saved kids was him disobeying God and you can see he want to desperately cry but is still holding on to his mask. Crowley then comfort him as to say “well I’m not going tell anyone, nothing going to change” and you can see his expression whilst still perplexed is relieved. He then asked the most heartbreaking question, “what am I” and ask Crowley said, “You’re just an Angel that goes along with heaven as far as he can” any Angel would’ve said “well that’s what the lord want me to do” but instead Aziraphale said “that sound lonely…” can you imagine just how agonizing that line is? The fact that he’s suppose to be “good” yet he following them despite his qualms which also that giving that this might be the first time Aziraphale not only was confront or even toke of his mask for this moment just confirmed the third thing, he’s a tragic character who I am just hoping he get hugs and therapy after all of this. He and Crowley both have their conscience but Aziraphale is pushing them down as it deemed as treasonous behavior. That how Crowley most likely fell, and he just doesn’t want to fall but he knows that he still have to do something. This conversation alone was clever to convey Aziraphale’s inner conflict with himself and Crowley is there being the voice of reason; Aziraphale truly never felt lonely until this and it just shows just how much he needed this conversation; because deep down, he knows that he doesn’t have anyone to talk to about this besides Crowley. Which broke down his wall, and a realization that no matter how much he tries will always be alone.

But I feel what is captivating about him is that, even after everything he still chooses to be ignorant and follow through. Even also showing kindness to the archangel despite the archangels expecting him to fail at everything, hell Gabriel insults Aziraphale tell him to “lost the gut” back in season 1 episode 4. Hell Gabriel literally tell “Aziraphale” (air quotes because it was Crowley during episode 6 for the bodyswap) to “shut your stupid mouth and die already” which while show just how much restraint Crowley got in him to not absolutely punch the shit out of Gabriel also shows just how good of heart he must be to still smile in their face and play nice despite them not caring about him. While sure, if this was Crowley, he would not hesitate to tell them to go kick rocks but with Aziraphale, he rather swallow his pride. He truly the most humble character I’ve ever seen in the history of television; his willpower and patient is what make him almost the bigger person in a way, since while I think he should’ve told them to go kindly kick rocks, he can’t. He rather be the bigger person rather then give them the satisfaction that they got under his skin. Which if that not the best definition of killing them with kindness, then shit I don’t know what it is. This is one of the reason he’s my favorite, he’s still acting like an angel and frankly they don’t deserve him, because if anyone had to be kind to you despite you still acting like a dick just tell you how much of a dick you are.

But then when he’s with Crowley, he can be his own person. He much happier and more comfortable to express himself, I mean look at season 2 episode 4, how happy he got after nearly getting his head blown off from an magic show, you can tell this is truly Aziraphale. Not the one that is rigid or pretending to be; aziraphale the expressive and bubbly angel that just need to express this and Crowley is the person he could do so and you can tell just how much Aziraphale and Crowley loves this. Crowley never judged him for his interest/hyperfixation but instead he in support of it and even indulges with him. Crowley can say how much aziraphale sucks at magic but because it makes Aziraphale happy; he happily accepts this part of him. And I absolutely love this about aziraphale and how free he is with Crowley, Aziraphale can go in depth about what book he read today and Crowley would just smile and listen to his favorite angel enjoying something. Hell, Episode 3 of season 1, Crowley went inside a FUCKING CHURCH to save him and even save his book because Aziraphale was devastated that his books was gone. Aziraphale just want to be his own character, himself, not the image that heaven model for him which you can say is another example of him being a rebel/rule breaker. Plus that I love all the moment where he’s a bitch (as in him being unapologetically sassy), because while yes, he sweet and kind hearted but he can and will through that energy right back at you while still killing you with kindness at the same time. He’s an adorable sassy theatre nerdy person and that is the true aziraphale. Which the fact he was almost willing to give it up (season 1) just to please the lord make him once again tragic as you can tell he doesn’t want to lose his autonomy, the first episode show that as he cringe of the very idea of God’s favorite musical being Sound of Music and Even when his face lit up when Crowley mention Alpha Centauri, he want to run away with Crowley just as much as Crowley want to run away with him but given Archangel and Heaven’s influence and just how much trauma he have, he decline it due to the overwhelming stress that his side put him through.

Now what make me love Aziraphale the most other than his characteristic is his flaws, and now you’re gonna ask “what flaws specifically Phantom?” Oh don’t worry, imma say it right now: his selflessness. Let me explain:

As the definition states, it typically means to care for other’s well-being and needs over your own. Which fits Aziraphale to the T as he is shown to put others, prime example(s): Aziraphale giving away his sword despite God giving it to him (S1 episode 1), helping Anathema get home despite needing to look after the Antichrist (S1 episode 2), Aziraphale giving Crowley the holy water despite that he could get in serious trouble (Season 1 episode 3) and you know there more but those are the highlights, but the biggest one, is Season 2 episodes 1, helping Gabriel (or Jim). Now when I first watch season 2, I was bewildered of the fact that he was willing to help him out even after all the thing Gabriel have either said or done. I know Gabriel had zero memories buttttttttt it’s still intriguing as he still willing to help him, but he also not ignoring the fact that Gabriel used to be awful, he even said it in episode 2 of season 2. Even Crowley was shocked, and give Gabriel the most terrifying speech of all of seasons about how horrible he was to aziraphale. Aziraphale still, being the courteous angel he is still helps him, which while this isn’t the most tragic thing, still shows just how damaged he is. “but phantom? Why damaged?”, because this shows that he will still put everyone needs above himself even if it’ll bite him in the ass. Just like how he trusted Greta in episode 3 thinking she was on his side when really she was working with Glozier and Harmony. And I feel in season 3, it going to bite him in the ass again given how season 2 went down. And now imma make this very clear, being selfless is not a bad thing, it an honorable trait you can have, however there a point where you have to put yourself first, and that something Aziraphale have to learn as sure he changed from season 1 to 2, he still is concern about others than himself.

Now I can talk about so much of season 2 and how it ended, but given a family member is watching it, I will have to restraint from spoiling it any further, but I would have to say, as much as the theory’s (if you know you know) are fascinating to dive into and maybe make things less sad; the theories does diminish aspect of character. As the purpose of the character was to show that even if you try to be free, the trauma is still there, and most of Aziraphale’s action is because of his religious trauma and guilt. He want to make thing better and be free yet he facing his own demons of his own. And it only a matter of time before he loses it, since unlike Michael, Uriel, and even Metatron, he have a conscience, a conscience that is very integral to him and what make his gear going, what make aziraphale well aziraphale. He’s a flawed character, he may be “the good” guy, he still have his flaws. He a tragic angel that just want to be loved for who is us instead of complying with the norm; and I love that about aziraphale and I’m hopping season 3 will give him (and hopefully plus Crowley) the happy ending and healing he needs. Michael sheen does a fantastic job as Aziraphael, and the fact he almost played Crowley truly is astonishing, and frankly while it would be cool to see how he would’ve played Crowley I think he’s the perfect actor for aziraphale and I can’t see anyone else playing this character, he absolutely killing it with David Tennant with their characters.

Now I’ve talk probably long enough, I just love this character so much and I see myself in aziraphale, you can I guess at I kin aziraphale lmao. So I just wanted to find any excuse to hyperfixate on my favorite character and talk about him. He’s my favorite flawed character and I can’t wait to see where his character goes. You have all rights to disagree with what I have to say, or if you agree, that cool I mean hey, both are valid. 😊 here a picture of smiling Aziraphale to maybe help heal you after a bad day or the aftermath of season 2. I love smiles.

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 316

John 1:4

UNITY OF THE BODY 19 – RACISM IN CHURCH? 2

1Co 1:10 I urge you, my brothers and sisters, FOR THE SAKE OF THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, TO AGREE TO LIVE IN UNITY WITH ONE ANOTHER AND PUT TO REST ANY DIVISION THAT ATTEMPTS TO TEAR YOU APART. BE RESTORED AS ONE UNITED BODY LIVING IN PERFECT HARMONY. Form a consistent choreography among yourselves, HAVING A COMMON PERSPECTIVE WITH SHARED VALUES. TPT

Racism is the prejudice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races. It is also the discriminatory or abusive behaviour towards members of another race.

Why we have to talk about Racism still, even when we have talked about Segregation, is because racism is harmful and deadly, being an offshoot of segregation itself.

Adolf Hitler arranged the Murder of over 6 million Jews because he despised that race as weaklings.

Phil 2:3 DO NOTHING FROM FRACTIONAL MOTIVES [THROUGH CONTENTIOUSNESS, STRIFE, SELFISHNESS OR FOR UNWORTHY ENDS] OR PROMPTED BY CONCEIT OR EMPTY ARROGANCE. Instead, IN THE TRUE SPIRIT OF HUMILITY (LOWLINESS OF MIND) LET EACH REGARD THE OTHER AS BETTER THAN AND SUPERIOR TO HIMSELF [thinking more highly of one-another than you do of yourself]. AMP

This was preached to Born again Christians, so that should tell you that such issues you see with Hitler, have tendencies in Church, because it is the same Adamic nature that ruled Hitler that you have in every man born of a woman.

Until the true “CROSS” experience, the Adamic nature still rules many.

The only difference is that Christians can pretentiously manage and cover their fleshly tendencies, but eventually, it explodes and we see murderous tendencies all over the church.

Jas 3:16 So wherever JEALOUSY AND SELFISHNESS are UNCOVERED, you will also find many troubles and EVERY KIND OF MEANNESS. TPT

Did you notice the word “Uncovered”? the “bottled-up” Adamic nature suddenly explodes and “all hell breaks loose”.

This is what happens when the Church fails to preach Christ and The Cross of Calvary (I Cor 2:2).

What causes Jealousy?

When the one who is of “lower status” also feels that Mr. “Higher status” is too full of himself.

You just see there’s no difference between both parties; they are all full of Mr. flesh.

Pro 13:10 THE ONLY EFFECT OF PRIDE IS FIGHTING; but wisdom is with the quiet in spirit. BBE

Someone in church only said something that “hurts your Pride” and you manage – in the name of Christianity and wanting to sustain a good impression about yourself – to bottle up your bitterness.

You pretend to forgive because it is the civil thing to do, but inside, you wish that person dead. At least, maybe not you, but a voice [in your mind] suggests seeing harm come to that person, and it feels good to you.

Jas 3:14-16 But IF YOU ARE BITTERLY JEALOUS AND FILLED WITH SELF-CENTERED AMBITION, DON'T BRAG. DON'T SAY THAT YOU ARE WISE WHEN IT ISN'T TRUE. That kind of wisdom doesn't come from above. It belongs to this world. IT IS SELF-CENTERED AND DEMONIC. WHEREVER THERE IS JEALOUSY AND RIVALRY, THERE IS DISORDER AND EVERY KIND OF EVIL. GW

We lie to ourselves that “our spirit” warns us to dissociate from certain people, but we probably have ambitions to be set above everybody else and celebrated the loudest.

When that fails or is threatened, we become ferocious.

Racism always draws lines and prepares harmful tendencies. Some even pray for evil to befall their “rivals”, who indeed, are fellow Christians.

Are they not murderers?

Gal 5:15 BUT IF YOU ACT LIKE WILD ANIMALS, HURTING AND HARMING EACH OTHER, THEN WATCH OUT, OR YOU WILL COMPLETELY DESTROY ONE ANOTHER. GNB

But how do these things start?

I don’t think that Christians just up and become Racist deliberately; there must have been a way satan “sold” some of us the “seed” and it was bought.

Let’s inspect, shall we?

These things take effect very subtly.

Have you ever joined a church or large group and you felt like: “I don’t want to get lost in the crowd; let me find someone or group with common goals with mine”?

1Co 11:18-19 I’ve been told many times that WHEN YOU MEET AS A CONGREGATION, DIVISIONS AND CLIQUES EMERGE—and to some extent, this doesn’t surprise me. DIFFERENCES OF OPINION ARE UNAVOIDABLE, YET THEY WILL REVEAL WHICH ONES AMONG YOU TRULY HAVE GOD’S APPROVAL. TPT

The moment we start looking for groups, class or isolated units in Church, we start drawing lines of segregation and division; we start surreptitiously looking for uniqueness and supremacy, and definitely, we get to despise others we soon see as a competition.

Racism is setting in, and soon, silent but obvious wars starts and the Church could become a battle ground, while we could feel so righteous about it all.

Mat 16:11-12 How could you not understand that I was not speaking to you about bread? But BEWARE OF THE YEAST OF THE PHARISEES AND SADDUCEES!” Then they understood that he had not told them to be on guard against the yeast in bread, BUT AGAINST THE TEACHING OF THE PHARISEES AND SADDUCEES.NET

By the time Jesus arrived on earth, the leadership of the Church had factions: Pharisees & Sadducees.

They were totally divided on Ground of beliefs and opinions.

Sadducees did not believe in resurrection, but even the Pharisees who did, had serious doctrinal and Character issues needing corrections.

Mat 22:34=35 THE PHARISEES LEARNED THAT JESUS HAD MADE THE SADDUCEES LOOK SO FOOLISH THAT THEY STOPPED TRYING TO ARGUE WITH HIM. So the Pharisees had a meeting. THEN ONE OF THEM, AN EXPERT IN THE LAW OF MOSES, ASKED JESUS A QUESTION TO TEST HIM. GNB

As we’ve said: Cliques, factions, groups, will soon fester and become Racist and there will be wars.

Act 23:6-8 When Paul saw that SOME of the council members were Sadducees and others were Pharisees, he shouted, "My friends, I am a Pharisee and the son of a Pharisee. I am on trial simply because I believe that the dead will be raised to life." AS SOON AS PAUL SAID THIS, the PHARISEES and the SADDUCEE GOT INTO A BIG ARGUMENT, and the COUNCIL MEMBERS STARTED TAKING SIDES. The Sadducees do not believe in angels or spirits or that the dead will rise to life. But the Pharisees believe in all of these, CEV

May we all attain Perfect and unconditional Unity in the body of Jesus Christ, in Jesus name.

Join us on Monday for more digging in as we proceed with this enlightening subtopic.

Keep Shinning!

Brother Prince

Friday, February 17, 2023

08055125517; 08023904307

[tenshindon]

every now and then i remember the epilogue story where yamcha almost won at the world tournament but decided to let mr satan take the win so he would maintain his reputation

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Irony Poisoning Chapter 3 (Chapter 1)

Wednesday fell asleep halfway through the first post, which was longer than Enid expected her to last. Xavier and Bianca's on-again-off-again romance had gone off, especially after all the excitement of the school year. Enid could barely even maintain an interest for Yoko's sake, let alone a readership. She was thinking about adding a Dear Abby segment just to pad out the blog, but she wasn't exactly in a position to give advice on… anything.

Wednesday didn't wake up until Enid's luggage was delivered to her room. Enid felt guilty for not carrying it herself, especially considering how heavy it was. Even through Wednesday's heavy iron door, the crash was not insignificant.

"Did you pack the Poe Cup trophy, Enid?" asked Wednesday. "Be honest."

"No!" Enid said, a little too quickly. Wednesday arched an eyebrow, which meant she knew Enid had at least considered it. "I just packed a lot of supplies."

"Supplies?"

"You know. Tea, fuzzy socks… Your mom didn't say if you had a cold, or an infected arrow wound, or what."

"Nothing so exciting," said Wednesday. "Mother overreacted. As usual. My apologies, for your blog's sake."

"Can you read minds too?" asked Enid, before realizing that was stupid. She would know if Wednesday could read her mind. They wouldn't be friends anymore.

"What?" said Wednesday. "Don't be ridiculous, Enid. I've been keeping up with your blog."

"Oh." Enid cursed her fair complexion once again. She may have been downright ruddy compared to Wednesday, but Wednesday never blushed. "You should have told me. I wouldn't have read it to you again."

"That's okay," said Wednesday. "I wasn't listening."

Enid rolled her eyes. When they rolled in the direction of a taxidermied cuckoo clock on Wednesday's desk, she gasped. "It's almost seven already. Are you up for dinner with your family or do you want me to bring me something?

"Are you up for dinner with my family?" Wednesday countered.

"Wednesday, you need your-"

"Stop fussing," she interrupted. "I'm perfectly fine… You'll be fine too, I suppose. You've already met Mother, and she's the worst of them. Pugsley doesn't bite. Well maybe a little nip every now and then, but it's all in fun."

"I'm used to brothers," said Enid.

"You have my sympathy." Wednesday removed the hospital blanket, revealing the dress she had worn on her first day at Nevermore. It was just as hideous as Enid remembered. "Shall we?"

"Lead the way."

Wednesday led the way back downstairs and through the living room Enid had seen on her arrival. The bearskin rug growled as they passed over it.

"Oh, hush, Bruno," said Wednesday. "You've been so grumpy lately."

Bruno growled back, and Enid felt a little bit better about all the taxidermy.

The rest of the family was still seating themselves around a massive dining room table, having apparently just resolved some sort of issue involving Pugsley's choice of table settings.

"I was just trying to help, Mother."

"That is not appropriate for company." Morticia removed a carving knife from his hands and replaced it with a cleaver. "Hello, girls."

Lurch had already laid out the dishes, silver tureens and crock pots that crowded their dining room table. Enid eyed their bubbling lids a little nervously, but when he removed them with a flourish, her werewolf nose perked up.

"Tamales?"

"Squash and black bean," said Morticia. "I hope it's to your liking. I'm afraid I forgot to inquire about any dietary requirements when I called you on the cellular telephone."

"Oh, no worries. Werewolves will eat pretty much anything. Literally in my brothers' case."

Pugsley and Uncle Fester tucked in immediately. Enid waited a few minutes to make sure the Addams family wasn't going to say some Satanic version of Grace before serving herself.

"These are delicious, Mrs. Addams," she said, barely remembering to swallow first. Werewolf table manners could be a little lax. "Even better than the ones from the Mission District."

"Morticia, dear. Thank you kindly. It's an old Addams family recipe, but without the traditional water monsters. They're endangered now."

Gomez passed what was left of the chili sauce to Wednesday after drowning his tamales in it. "How are you feeling this evening, my little storm cloud?"

"Dismal," she replied.

Morticia clapped her hands together. "Almost back to your old self already. I knew a friendly face would raise your spirits."

"Pretty sure it was the pharmaceuticals," said Enid, "but thanks for the credit, M- Morticia."

"Drugs?" asked Uncle Fester.

"Just the over-the-counter-kind," said Enid, a little nervous once again. Maybe the Addams didn't use Nyquil for a reason. Other than the fact that it was invented in the last century.

Uncle Fester sighed. "Kids these days. Let me know if you ever want something stronger."

"Now, now, Uncle Fester," Morticia chided softly. "You haven't even asked about her allergies yet. Enid, dear, I do hope it wasn't too great an inconvenience to your family to part with you during the break."

"Oh, uh, it… wasn't?" That sounded wrong, so Enid kept going. "Actually, I was thinking about going to stay with Grandma for a while. After Grandpa passed away last year, Mom tried to send her to a farm upstate but Grandma still has a pretty good income from her haircare line, so she got a nice little apartment in the Castro."

Gomez clapped his hands. "How's he doing? He sent me a box of the finest cigars last month. Unmarked, of course, since the whole-" He made a throat-chopping gesture, "in '16, but I'd know those thighs anywhere."

"Different Castro, mon cher," said Morticia. At the term of endearment, Gomez abandoned his meal to kiss his way up her arm. She resumed eating left-handed.

It was strange to see a couple so clearly in love. Enid's mom always acted like she couldn't stand to be around her dad. Like they had some sort of shotgun werewolf wedding, when it was obvious who called the shots in their relationship.

"What's Alcatraz like?" asked Pugsley, apparently having restrained himself as long as possible.

"Pretty boring these days," said Enid, "but one of my uncles is a ranger who works there during the tourist season. He told me all the stuff they don't talk about on the tour. Did you know that in the 1930s, prisoners weren't even allowed to speak outside of mealtimes?"

"Barbaric," Pugsley's voice was awe-struck.

"It was one of the few prisons to offer hot showers, but only so the prisoner's would be less likely to swim for freedom," she added. Enid's tour of Alcatraz had been interesting, but it had also reminded her a little too much of the Lupin Cages. There were a couple of years back in middle school when her mom was convinced that sleeping in their family Lupin Cage every night would stimulate Enid's transformation. It took a case of pneumonia to convince her otherwise.

"Did anyone ever escape?"

"None confirmed," she said, in her best Wednesday impersonation, "but five escapees were presumed drowned, never to be seen again."

Enid's muse rolled her eyes, but Pugsley ate it up alongside his second helping. Brothers were easy.

"Will you girls be joining us for the evening séance?" asked Morticia.

"No," said Wednesday. "A sudden relapse has come on."

She did look a little paler, but that could have easily been her reaction to the thought of more family time.

"Enid?" said Gomez. "How about you? I have baby pictures of Wednesday."

"I require her company," answered Wednesday, before Enid could.

"To sleep?" asked Pugsley.

"Just admit you want to stay up late and braid each other's hair," said Enid.

Wednesday looked like she was going to be sick.

Sicker.

"Admit it." Enid would sacrifice her chance at baby pictures for the sake of her friend's pride, but she would not do it without demanding a tithe in return.

"My hair is perfectly fine," said Wednesday, "but I believe yours could use some improvement. Very well. I wish to braid your hair, Enid."

Enid had to take a third helping of tamales just to hide her blush. As always, Wednesday ended up extracting her own tithe, and it was in blood.

[larrythefloridaman]

handing you more characters bc your analysis is so delicious .

crimson. the scrunkly. most likely to be cpuk's tumblr sillyman.

Studying this little freak like a bug <3

(cpuk and ncct spoilers)

The thing about Crimson is that narratively, he is, as a villain, a bad coping mechanism or a self-destructive behavior. Barely even a metaphor- thats literally what he is to peppermint in pretty much no uncertain terms, she's parasocially in love with him because he, and the concept of a multiverse, allows her to indulge in the fantasy of a world where she's happy, and indulging unhealthily in fantasy is what actively drives people away from her, making her even lonelier. And she's not the only example of characters whom crimson's relationship to them is defined by them giving in to a character flaw. Chessmaster is the other clear cut example- succumbing to his inferiority complex and giving in to evil for the sake of proving himself are directly interrelated events, and he broke free when he was given kindness and support, a clearer picture of why he's like this (because he was designed to be,) and a vision of something different, something healthier, to be. He tempts people, consciously or not, to act their worst.

Hamburger Helper was a family man. Season one's storytelling is patchier than later seasons, but one can read between the lines, both then and later, to see something of a Mr. Incredible style gloryhound mid-life crisis to inspire his behavior, and his husband putting his foot down and breaking things off wasn't enough to drag him back to sense- especially since his son was on his side, resenting dadondorf for both his more firm parenting and splitting their family, launching into his ongoing emo phase and "trying to summon satan to kill his dad." (Real line from cpuk1. smthn smthn nccts crimson's first host was a dad and hes good with kids and says despite being kind of a monster he wouldn't hurt one. food for thought) But when The Grunk died, the show went on hiatus, and he was left in the broken fizzled aftermath of all that and forced to slowly realize how immature he'd been behaving and what ultimately really mattered to him and defected from Crimson of his own will.

Valentine was a risk taker, all for the drama of the show. Valentine walked directly into explosions just to see if he could survive them. He's a performer and a gentleman and a hero to the people. However, a risk taken in performance is a risk nonetheless and his overconfidence was his downfall. Valentine made a bet. Didn't tell a soul before he did it, other than a crimson possessed hamburger helper, speaking in their minds- hold your breath for the drama! And then he lost. And the deal was real. And so were the consequences. And the show he so loved came crashing to a halt as he was used to kill a man. (I'd also like to note, captain crimson in the nccts is kind of another example of a recreation of val as an image without his input, if im understanding the dream-fakes correctly- bc theyre composed of the current dreamers recollection of them, and Val isnt in the fourth dream. So once again val is being copied over as a biased outsiders image formed from people's perceptions of him, this one more literal and impermanent and largely defined by a very publically known traumatic experience that he really doesnt like to talk about and the person who controlled him in that time, while Quad was originally made to be a sort of exaggerated parody of what he loves and values. fun.)

Larry's... well, I've talked about Larry's problem. He overextends himself, unwilling to burden others intentionally even if they're willing to bear it, and needs to show himself a little self-compassion. And the circumstances of his possession? He functionally agreed to saving Crimson's life, and Crimson repays this by running off with his body right away and refusing to let Larry see his loved ones (for reasons of self-protection, crimson desiring to lie low right now, but still) and Larry's still trying to fix him from the inside. Bro thats nice and very noble and all bc god knows crimson genuinely needs help but you functionally got kidnapped my dude!!!!!! You missed yet another Valentines day after SEVEN missed Valentines days! you're on course to miss a NINTH since the show's gone off air in your absence!!! Your man just wants you to be safe for once!!!!!! He misses you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sidenote ive noticed in terms of teaching the lesson of not overextending your compassion sometimes folks trying to teach it fumble the point by making it so the way its taught is by making the target not 'worthy' of the compassion somehow (tricking the giver of care or help into thinking they need it when they really dont or smthn) as if overextending yourself is a matter of choosing who's morally deserving of help and weeding out the untrustworthy lazy manipulators or some shit rather than You Cannot Help Everyone, its a Logistical Impossibility and By Trying You Will Only Hurt Yourself and Eventually Others as Either Your Loved Ones Worry Themselves Sick To Death Over You as Your Wellbeing Inevitably Declines Or You End Up Lashing Out At Others Because Your Needs Have Gone Uncared For As A Result, Therefore You Literally NEED to be Helped Because You Literally Cannot Bear It All Alone and im glad thats more the kind of vibe set up here. Like. Crimson definitely definitely definitely needs help that much is clear. But Larry aint the fucker to do it. because He's Super Not Okay Either and also, he'd been trying to get Crimson to open up for however long it was between cpuk orange and ncct2 hed been trying and didn't know Funbox's name when Crimson was willing to say that on live tv but Dani spends an hour in a vent with him and he's Explaining His Personal Living Nightmare to her. Larry is not a person hes willing to open up to, probably Specifically Because he is trying and wants to help him! Larry's fuckin. Red Cross Syndrome actively makes Crimson want to clam up! They can be good buds, they certainly seem to enjoy eachothers company well enough, but not in the 'i can unload about my trauma to you' way right now because neither of them are people who think they need or deserve that yet!

Maladaptive coping mechanisms and emotional regulation strats being the domain of a god of treachery makes sense- especially in a show about compassion and healing the way CPUK often is. they don't fix the real problem. Often they make it worse. They make you feel better, stronger, until they don't, they take control of your life, and sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you realize you have a shovel in your hands. But, the thing about them is, they're NOT 'evil,' they're volatile, theyre unhealthy, and they don't come from nowhere. Its the culmination of unaddressed pain. And as with Chartreuse's tragedy, this applies to Crimson as much as it does to those his powers effect- this badboy's chock full of dumb destructive shit he does to feel power and control over and satisfaction with his own life, and that makes itself most apparent in his relationship with Crimsonaut. Now, Crimsonaut lacks much of a firm moral compass- but he's kind, in a snarky long-suffering sort of way. he was created by Dr. Order to venture into the crimson for study. We don't know how that went, but we know the result. Allowing Crimson to hide and recover in his body, lying about being uncontaminated upon his return from meeting him, intentionally hiding and protecting Crimson from discovery until he was strong enough to start taking control of the body from time to time and getting up to his shit again. Crimsonaut is more than capable of verbally standing up to Crimson, he puts his foot down- but he puts his foot down only when Crimson condescends to him, treats him like he's not an equal. Crimson calls him his little buddy- like hes affectionately describing a cat or a small animal or perhaps one of those fucked up lil splatoon fish, and Crimsonaut tells the evil primordial god in his body that he owes him at least the title of friend. Takes some backbone, which he chooses not to use later. He wasn't happy with crimson attempting to destroy the universe, where he lives, but after the fact, their relationship as we see it doesnt seem to have changed at all. Crimsonaut was still willingly playing his snarky human shield. Crimsonaut's friendly with Dani, and no exorcism ever happened. even though he very nearly successfully destroyed a universe, (and got them both put on a fucking Leash by his siblings for weeks after the fact,) he'd rather let him stay. But being separated from Crimson as a result of Crimson's own meddling, getting a nice breather away from him, and Crimson using this break as an opportunity to make a direct attempt to kill him to avoid being put back was the last straw. he was horrible despite when they got along and what he was made for and he couldnt just put up with it anymore, although Prism's next move might have... complicated his feelings about it. Crimson might honestly care about him, but that didn't make him any less of a toxic friend, and for that, Crimsonaut doesnt owe him a continued place in his life, and Crimson lost himself the most earnest, faithful, selflessly motivated friend he seems to have had since he arrived in this universe entirely through his own short-sighted self-destructive inability to deal with the minor restrictions living with Crimsonaut imposes on his life. He cant make himself willingly hand over control to another person enough to adapt to a minor dietary restriction. Absolute control freak. And... well. We know why.

Prism and the Ciblings relationship wasnt... explicitly cast as being abusive in those words before the nccts, though one could easily read between the lines. And what the implications spoke loud and clear already was bad enough. But things are called what they are in the nccts, (not by the cods, who. likely think its... not normal. but maybe normal for gods. Theres not really other examples of godly parenting for them to draw from, after all. But Folk correctly labels Prism as abusive.) and Crimson's status as a favorite target of torment is exposed, and recontextualizes... a lot of things, really. He implies quite straightforwardly that everything he says should be taken with a grain of 'im aware of when Prism's watching and what im willing to say when she is is effected somewhat by that.' His words are inherently a bit deceptive, but not necessarily maliciously- but self-protectively. Every respectable parenting resource: "strict helicopter parenting doesnt teach your child obedience, it teaches your child how to lie to you" prism raising a god of treachery: "haha yeah thats the point :)"

Crimson and Prism's relationship is a pretty realistic example of the effect of the beginning of a cycle of abuse, in the broad sense. A parent, effected by existential stresses they cannot escape, be they monetary, interpersonal, psychological, whatever, lashes out against their children in the process of raising them, simultaneously traumatizing them and modeling toxic behavior to them, which they ultimately mimic because thats how dealing with problems and stress was modeled to them in their formative years, lacking access to or knowledge of more positive outlets for their feelings.

Crimson wants to be nothing like her- but he is, unthinkingly, like her. He hurts people to his own ends, he manipulates the truth, he's controlling, a number of other small things- a sickly smile to reflect prism's vacant yet intense one. He is his mother's son. Godhood of treachery and godhood of stories are... rather similar in concept, really- i don't recall who, but ive heard a certain philosophy of storytelling said as, paraphrasing, 'fiction is lies, falsehood, in service to truth.' he adopts an aesthetic of opposition, blood guts and chocolate cake, without really deconstructing his behavior in context, because changing who he is means making himself more vulnerable to being changed while he's figuring himself out, and Prism's entire modus operandi is changing you without you ever noticing, and he wants to believe through his rebellion he can atleast be fully authentically himself, uninfluenced. But change cannot be staved off forever, and despite what he wanted to believe, he's still stuck. Choosing evil is not an escape, it is another cage. The hopelessness and stagnation of lacking meaningful choice setting in seems to be changing him anyway.

I marked the 'horrible person' square the way i did because normally when one claims a tragic villain 'had no choice' but to commit their actions, its not really an accurate reflection- having reasons and motives to do what you do doesnt change that you chose to do them, if only under duress. But Crimson was... very particularly, literally and specifically being disallowed from having a choice in who he turned out to be under the gaze of a panopticonic and brutal authority that could begin watching him at any time, and what they wanted him to be was evil. He was born to be a villain and groomed into it, lead to evil blindly by a strict parent who's strictness was applied specifically to spawn the rebellion it caused and create a self-demonizing villain. He could've chosen to be better in theory- options were technically there- but he wanted to be a villain because he was raised in such a way that it felt like a meaningful rebellion against Prism's goody two shoes persona, but it wasnt, and he wouldnt have been allowed to pick the better options anyway- judging from things like Prism hitting the undo button on TOJ giving her a shiner, anything deviating too far from the plan can just be undone anyway, with none but her (and the audience,) maintaining memory of it, although it's marks are left regardless. little retcons. (Prism saying she felt guilt for what she 'had to do' to Crimson is... a bit supported by this- if she never wanted him to ever have nice things she could very easily take All of it away. She could have made that hug never happen. But she did let him have that. Doesnt make the constant cruelty better but yknow. Abusers are weird and complicated people sometimes and often they believe what they're doing is for the best for the child even if it really really isnt)

While we all came to agreement that Doctor Order's statement, about how if someone is changed by prism by unnoticed inches it will become miles over time, did not apply to her... I think it applies to Crimson, although not fully in the magical sense she meant, but the metaphorical. I think once upon a time there mightve been a better nature and hope in crimson which was slowly, steadily, and thoroughly corroded for a long, long time. Started CPUK Reboot in my rewatch recently, and before it became Team Calibur, Team Crimson's uniting factor wasnt even evil- it was passion. Bizarre, considering how inhuman Crimson was played in the first season. Kindness is what comes naturally to people. All that doesnt have to matter, not in the least, to the people he's hurt- but free will has always been more theoretical for him than the average person with Prism's eyes trained on him, and morality greys and greys as one gets into the weeds of why people are the way they are and when you remove or bar off meaningful and conscious choice from the equation. It is, sometimes, a luxury to have the option to be a good person, even if you aren't aware those options have been closed off to you. People get trapped, often without even knowing, in doing things that contradict what they believe or understand to be right to survive and enjoy any kind of happiness or fulfillment every day. smthn smthn no ethical consumption under capitalism for a familiar example. Crimson just raises So Many Fun Moral Philosophy Questions. God i love 'born to be evil, are so much more than that' type characters theyre always so human and fun to get pretentious about. can you tell my family's ex-catholic /j

Judging by his resentful tone with things like lovey dovey romance and Prism's 'barney the dinosaur' demeanor, i think its pretty fair to assume Prism's faux-sugary demeanor has made him thoroughly distrustful or disdainful of anything too 'sweet' at the outset. Only pain and grit is 'real', anything too sweet is a facade waiting to stab you in the back. Despite his two-faced smarmy deceitfulness being a defining trait, being Authentically Himself seems to concern Crimson a great deal, and for obvious reason. That being said i think theres also a part of crimson that wishes he could win over her approval, judging from his conversation with captain crimson- where i think he's the only one of the cods to actually briefly label prism as their mom directly, if only in a snarky derisive way, (usually they fall in line with her description of herself as their babysitter, but i mean. When your parent is a primordial cloud of feelings and ideas and not a person that can raise you but their emissary raises you in their place idc thats functionally a Mom) and implies Crimson sticks around here because of Prism in a way that makes it sound like it was a deliberate choice- it'd certainly explain why he actually tried to be good at the job he Knew he had (until attempting to self-sabotage to prove a point,) and making a point out of cobalt fucking up at his, despite his typically impulsive and self-indulgent personality. not really realizing he never could have her approval until his godhood of treachery was revealed to him, a title which means he is inescapably evil to her. I think Crimson wants very badly to be liked and approved of by Somebody, and in failing to get that from Prism has... latched on to the audience a bit, as another extension of his progenitor Spectrum. Crimson sees chat! He can see everything we say about him! He probably has thoughts and feelings on a good lot of it! He started using the nickname Crimbo because of us, and throughout orange's intros iirc he seemed more than a little disappointed by the reception to him as host not just from the competitors but from us in chat booing him (in a heelish kind of way, largely. God knows we do love crimson even if he sucks <3) and for god's sake the nelson warping is activated by us complimenting him. hes So Desperate for us to like him! Not unlike prism was!

i think the treachery reveal ultimately came as the second hit of a three hit combo of crimson's held beliefs being challenged. I think Crimson percieved Cobalt as kinda... Prism's lapdog to some extent? always trying to be the 'responsible' one, managing his and Chartreuse's behavior on Prism's advice while botching his own job. Cobalt showed his care for Crimson as his little brother through making deals to keep him alive, but considering he spends every other moment they're together (understandably, crimson is not a good person and cobalt has a very firm and deliberately constructed punitive moral compass to keep from losing sight of his responsibilities,) being critical of him on moral grounds it makes their relationship feel much more... transactional, even if Cobalt doesnt mean things that way. Like he's only making these deals to protect him because Someone needs to do his job. And then a disguised Crimson, after his apparent death, walks in on Cobalt discussing with Chartreuse that they need to do something about Prism, that this has all gone on too long. He cares, regardless of their stupid jobs, he just wants Crimson to be Less of an Asshole. And then, after the treachery reveal, there's chartreuse giving up her godhood.

Crimson's been confused by and rudely dismissive of his sister's relationship ever since he found out- particularly so after learning what she's been doing to maintain it. She's weakening herself, hurting herself, making herself vulnerable, to maintain a relationship with some mortal who, even if she could keep up what she was doing, not telling him anything and enduring the pain of keeping his fracture in the timeline sustained, would have sixty maybe seventy years at best to be with her and then she'd be back to the usual. They are incomprehensibly old, Folk is a blip in the grand scheme. She'll get over him, she should stop whining about it, its spilt milk. And then she gave up her godhood entirely. This mortal was worth facing not just pain, but the inevitability of death to her, worth facing the absolute vulnerability of mortal life. Crimson still can't understand it... he still doesnt agree with her decision and he doesnt particularly like Folk that much. but he can understand this is Really Fucking Important to her. and he cares about her enough to respect it and want to be a part of it as much as he can.

Ultimately, what i think Crimson really needs is to learn is how to trust someone enough to willingly hand over power and control to someone else without it being the end of the world and that change can be for the better, and him respecting the agency of other people even if he intensely disagrees with their decisions is an important step in the right direction on that front.

[jinxthejubilee]

Little D. Personality Headcanons

Our lovely Little Ds! We need to know more about them, as such, I've taken it upon myself to flesh them out. Since we see a lot of No. 2, I'm gonna skip him for now, and just focus on the other 6. Enjoy!

Little D. No. 1

Despite what one may think, this Little Demon of Pride is NOT the leader of the main 7, but man does he want to be. Not entirely for the idea that he'd make a good leader (even though all of them are pretty much equal, don't tell him that), but just for the sake of having that title.

He pretty much embodies the more mischievous side of Lucifer. For example, the prank war between Lucifer and Satan that is more one-sided, is very mutual and at full force here. Little D's. No. 1 and No. 4 hate each other, they want to ruin each other's days as much as possible. While No. 4 is a lot more destructive physically, No. 1 is destructive verbally. He'll insult and give backhanded compliments to No. 4, and when he gets mad, he tells him to keep it "professional," wouldn't want Mr. Barbatos to find him getting upset over nothing. (Poor No. 2's gotta break up fights on the daily. Demon King help him!).

He's a bit more calm than the others, but only by a small amount. He tries so hard to pretend to not be on the same level of mischievousness as his fellow Little D's in front of Barbatos. Key word being: tries.

How He Speaks: He's like those kids in middle school who use big complicated words to sound smarter, except most of the time, he actually knows what the words mean. But he uses them for no reason. I had this thought that all of the Little D's voices are raspy, and now I can't unsee it.

Little D. No. 3

A very self-conscious, clumsy, worrywart who freaks out over every little thing. Unlike his avatar, No. 3 actually admires his fellow familiars quite a lot, especially No. 2, and expresses his acknowledgment of most of their quirks and traits. However, that doesn't stop the creeping envy he feels towards them. But for the most part, when he feels envious, he says it along the lines of "Wow, I wish I could be more like you," or "why can't I do that?" He just feels bad, someone hug him.

He tries to be careful with everything around him since he's very clumsy, but alas, luck is never on his side. Look Barb, he didn't mean to drop that tray you meticulously arranged, please put your creepy smile away!

That being said though, he's still a bit mischievous. He often helps No. 2 when No. 1 and No. 4 continue their non-stop feud, which sometimes involves pranking them. He can't resist, he loves a good curse or two.

How He Speaks: This poor boy stutters a bit when he's nervous, and I'd say that he'd sound panic-y most of the time, and only a little raspy.

Little D. No. 4

A short-fused kind of guy, and very easily irritated, No. 4 is one of the more grumpy Little D's. Unlike Satan, who hides his wrath under a cool and calm exterior, No. 4 has almost no chill and will attack the other Little D's if provoked. But he'll only attack the Little D's, not anyone else, he has a bit of self control.

He can be fun, especially when a good prank idea comes along. The thought of knocking his highness No. 1 down a peg brings him such immeasurable joy. And he's almost never rude to guests, but you can easily tell when his patience is wearing thin.

How He Speaks: Annoyed and very exasperated tone. Almost flat but still a little cheery and very raspy, he's still a Little D.

Little D. No. 5

The adorably, fabulous No. 5. Very peppy, but not that shallow. Since a Little D's whole shtick is being a servant, he's overly generous to the point of being a little annoying.

He won't make innuendos or jokes of inappropriate nature that often, he has a job to hold down so he can't have too much fun. However, he's pretty ditsy, so the jokes kinda come on their own. But, he's more of a romantic than a tramp. He loves fantasizing about the perfect dates the demon bro you choose could go on with your MC. He's very meticulous as well, wanting everything he cleans, makes, or mends to be perfect. So when it's his turn to prank, watch your back.

How He Speaks: He has a very high-pitched, sing-songy voice. He loves to sing, and has the best voice out of all of them. But he still has that raspiness that all of the Little D's have.

Little D. No. 6

The patient, kind and courteous Little D, No. 6 is the food enthusiasts of the group. He knows what everyone eats, why everyone eats what, and how much everyone needs to eat. He's a bit protective of his fellow familars, MC, and Lord Diavolo when it comes to food, and you can bet that he will volunteer to taste test the food to make sure it's safe.

He loves watching Barbatos cook and bake, it's very relaxing to him even though he starts to drool from the smell. It's more of an art to him, organizing food on the plates.

He's a little bitter at Beel, he ate a Little D after all! That won't be forgiven that easily.

How He Speaks: Again raspy, but still gentle. He has the deepest voice out of them all, but a Little D's voice is pretty high, so that's not saying much.

Little D. No. 7

The snuggler and the watcher, the lovely No. 7. Although he may be a connoisseur of pillows, blankets, and plushies, No. 7 isn't lazy and he hates being called that. Unlike Belphie, he tries to be as productive as possible before he collapses everyday. He enjoys being helpful, and he gives the sweetest, tired smile he can muster when there's been a job well done. Frustratingly though, he can't stop his arms and legs from dragging him down to his bed, favorite corner, or secret sleeping spot.

While he's resting though, he watches. He watches everything that goes on around him. How certain Little D. act, where Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, or guests come and go, arguments, love confessions, everything. So, if you need info, he's your go to guy, even if you have to wake him up first.

How He Speaks: His voice isn't high pitched, so much as it's soft and a bit babyish thanks to him being so tired.

Yay! This was fun! I love these munchkins so much, I had to do them justice. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this too. With that being said, goodnight everyone! Have a great night! Byeee! 💗

[mrs-march-ahs]

Dating Zicky Zamirez

I wholeheartedly ask you to forget about the real-life person before reading this. This has absolutely nothing to do with the real person. The real person disgusts me just as much as everybody else.

Even after watching 1984, I don’t see much of the real-life killer in Zach Villa’s character. I see him as a fictional character like James March.  For the sake of separating Zach’s character as much as possible from the disgusting person he is based on, this is not headcannons about dating the sickening serial killer Richard Ramirez.

This is a post about the fictional character Zicky Zamirez that I just created. He looks like this.

-Very explosive and you need to learn to not be afraid of it -Zicky is Pisces sun, Scorpio moon and Leo rising -Which means that he is emotional and sensitive in a non-conventional way -He is creative and creepy -His inner Scorpio wants to be obsessed with you, but he manages to not be -You two live different lives and spend a lot of time apart -But when the two of you get together, it’s very intimate -He’s very easy to talk to even though he isn’t the best listener -Definitely wants quality time with you and just you, talking about anything and everything

-Gets riled up quickly talking about certain things -Time as a group with other people (not that anybody else in the camp wants to be around him) doesn’t count, he needs 1 on 1 time with you -Zichard thinks he’s always 3 steps ahead of you and is so much smarter than you, but he’s pretty easy to soften up and manipulate if you need to -Would truly do anything for you -The relationship is intense and serious very fast -The song he dedicates to you in the car is either You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi) or Maneater (Daryl Hall & John Oates) -In the car singing along to music together, practically screaming along to the songs -You have to know as many Billy Idol songs as physically possible -Baby names include: - “Look what I did for you baby��� - “Last chance baby girl” - “Uh yeah sorry babe” - “Good girl” - “Yes sweetie” -When you’re doing anything particularly feminine or doing something that in his eyes is throwing a tantrum - “Sorry princess” -You don’t like being called princess so he only calls you that to piss you off -In exchange you call him Zichard - (like the vine) What the fuck, Zichard

-Definitely talks dirty to you cause you like his voice -Is fine with transactional sex but really likes to lay with you after, smoke some weed, and trace hearts on your chest like the little bitch he is -Would rent a room in a motel just to have that time with you -Blows smoke in your mouth and vice versa -Likes sharing a cigarette with you just to have that little smudge of lipstick on it -Obsessed with your boobs -If you wear a low cut top around him, don’t bother talking because he can’t hear it -Noise cancelling boobs -Despite how much of a fanboy he is, he’s pretty mature and the relationship isn’t particularly teenage-y -He likes to see you wearing his jacket though -He tries to be interested in your interests, like aerobics, and in exchange you’re willing to worship Satan with him -It’s only fair -When he firsts takes you into the forest and draws a pentagram with sticks, you don’t think much of it -You both cut your hands and drip the blood in the middle and worship together -You see how into it he is and he shows you how powerful it is, insisting that you kill him just to prove to you that Satan will bring him back -Whether you do it or you don’t is up to you -He pretends he doesn’t have a soft side but really likes when you touch his hair -A total top dom -Doesn’t even really like you riding him -Licks your feet though -Can and will spend hours between your legs and is great at it -Lay on the couch with him and he’ll find a way to sneakily massage your feet just so he can see them and touch them -When he eventually goes to prison you always visit him, but when he starts acting crazier, asking for more, and being less excited to see you, you visit him less and less -He complains if you come visit him in something that doesn’t show your tits -Eventually he escapes, and comes straight to you, and shows up at your door with fake passports -You run away together so he can be far away from the camp -If the people at the camp found out that you wanted to run away with him, they might kill you -He can’t resist seeing you and would come visit all the time, eventually becoming trapped himself -Trapped together forever -The others at the camp don’t want him to escape, but as long as you’re stuck there he will stay with you

━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━

i don’t particularly know if i’ll ever write for... zicky again but i think i would want to, tell me if you want to be taken off the taglist for that<3

@milly-louise  @amourtentiaa  @kitwalker02  @tatestripedsweater  @therenlover  @maria-akira​  @tatesimper  @sallyscigarettes  @mossybank  @ahsxual  @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess  @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan  @kitwalkerangel  @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt  @blackbat2020  @whiiiiplaaaaash @kaismessiahbb @elaineygrace @divinerulerluvr @johndeaconshands @kais-messiahbaby @xmaximoffic @tatesweaterweather @undeadcortez

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Ch. 3)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: descriptions of past bullying 

Word Count: 6,816

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.    

It was nearly eleven when you returned to your room later that night, collapsing on your bed in a disgruntled heap. You barely had enough energy to change out of your clothes and shower, though you forced yourself to do so, if only for the sake of appearances.

Noelle was already asleep, so she didn’t have the presence of mind to grill you, but her questions came as soon as you woke up the next morning. Seated at a table in the coffee shop on the corner, you opened your yogurt and spilled your frustrations.

“So, that’s where I am,” you said, shaking your head when you reached the end of the story. “Miss Britt pulled me aside and I need to find someone to tutor me, fast. Fun times.”

“That’s bullshit.” Noelle looked outraged. “You’re clearly one of the best dancers at Russet! It’s why Sabrina has such a problem with you. She knows you’re competition.”

“Thanks,” you said, a bit glum. “But Miss Britt is right – I’m no ballerina. I need more practice if I want to catch up to the rest of class.”

“But you don’t even want to be in Russet’s ballet company! You’re a talented dancer outside of that specific genre.”

“True. But if I can’t make it through freshman year, that doesn’t really matter – does it?”

Noelle fell silent for a moment, not having a response as you sighed.

“It’s not like I expect you to have a solution,” you admitted. Scooping another bite of yogurt from your parfait, you shoved this in your mouth. “It’s my problem to figure out.”

Noelle leaned back. “Maybe you should take Miss Britt’s suggestion,” she said.

You gave Noelle a look of such open disgust, she had to laugh.

“I’m serious!” She grinned, taking a sip of her coffee. “Obviously, Sabrina’s the worst, but you could ask Jimin. Is he really as bad as you say?”

“That all depends,” you mused. “Is Satan as bad as they say?”

“Never met him, so I can’t be sure.”

“Well, I have met Jimin and can definitively say he’s the worst. If I went to him for help, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Hm.” Noelle sounded skeptical to you; she clearly thought you were exaggerating, but this was one subject on which you were unwilling to budge. “Maybe you can ask someone else, then. An older student? Oo – you could ask Seokjin! He’s so hot.”

Perked up by this idea, you casually stirred your coffee. “You know what, that’s not a bad idea. He’s super talented and clearly knows what the teachers are looking for.”

“See!” Noelle set down her fork. “You have plenty of options.”

“You might be right,” you said with a smile.

Feeling marginally better about the whole situation, you pulled out your phone to search Russet’s website for Seokjin. All the teacher’s assistants had a web page where they offered private lessons, much like Miss Britt and other teachers. Unfortunately for you though, all of Seokjin’s slots were full.

This seemed to be the case with most upperclassmen and you sighed, standing from the table to clear your place. Discouraged by this, you threw your phone in your bag while you left the shop. Noelle began suggesting other students she knew while you walked to class, but you had already begun to fixate on what was probably a terrible idea.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized Miss Britt’s initial suggestion made sense. Sabrina was frustrating, but she knew all the teachers and had the most training of your class in classical ballet. True, you hadn’t gotten off to the best start, but you’d played a part in that, too. The first night you met, you didn’t have to be a dick to her.

Most importantly, you didn’t have the same history with Sabrina that you did with Jimin. Jimin had been your rival since day one – it’d take more than some halfhearted peace offering to make him forget that. Your relationship with Sabrina was new enough you still had hope it could change.

Besides, you already knew she did morning barre on days off from class. Surely, she wouldn’t say no if you asked to tag along. Cheered by this thought – you were the type of person who enjoyed having a plan – you perked up, chatting eagerly with Noelle as you walked to class.

Wednesday ballet was held by Mr. Jordan, the only teacher at Russet who was routinely late to class. Only by five minutes, but you found it remarkable how consistently he hit this deadline. The rest of the class arrived fifteen minutes early regardless – better to be consistently early than to be late the one week Mr. Jordan wasn’t, and be banished to the hall.

You and Noelle entered at 8:50 AM, setting your bags on the ground to stake out your place at the barre. You were midway across the room when you saw Sabrina and paused.

Her pointe shoes were already on, doing slow relevés at the barre in the center. You hesitated only a moment before turning to Noelle.

“I’m going to do barre over there today,” you said, nodding in Sabrina’s direction. “See you after, okay?”

Noelle looked up in alarm, but you had already turned, halfway across the floor. When you reached Sabrina, you set your bag down and took a long sip of water.

Sabrina ignored you, placing one leg on the barre to bend at the waist. You waited a moment for her to rise and when she did not, set your hand on the barre.

“Hey,” you said, waiting for a response.

Sabrina didn’t react.

Moving to stand opposite, you lifted your leg to place beside her own. Stretching an arm overhead, you leaned forward until your face was mere inches away.

“How’s your morning?” you said, trying your best to be pleasant.

Sabrina released a long, slow sigh. 

“Good.”

You waited, but she said nothing more and, feeling kind of stupid, you glanced over your shoulder. Noelle remained at your usual spot by the door. You were momentarily tempted to leave and join her, but then you remembered what Miss Britt had said. You needed a tutor.

You could do this. You had made it to Russet Academy, dammit – asking Sabrina to help couldn’t be more difficult than fifteen years of ballet class.

“Do you have a second?” you said, lowering your voice. “I wanted to ask you something.”

After another long pause, Sabrina raised her head. “What?”

She sounded curious at least, which you supposed was a start. Even if said curiosity didn’t extend to her lowering her leg, or even her voice.

“Uh…” You blinked, your nervousness rising. If Sabrina said no, it would be absolutely humiliating. “I know you’ve been training at Russet longer than most people in our class.”

Sabrina stared. “And?”

You bit down on your lip to keep from saying something you’d regret. Clearly, Sabrina wasn’t going to make this easy on you and again, you wondered if this was a bad idea. You reminded yourself that you’d committed to doing whatever was necessary to keep your spot at Russet.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but ballet isn’t really my dance style.” Ignoring the small smirk she gave, you continued. “I know it’s yours though, so I was wondering if you’d be open to practicing together sometime. You know, maybe you could give me some pointers.”

Sabrina looked at you a long moment, then lowered her leg. Bending lithely at the waist, she grasped her water bottle to take a casual swig. She remained silent the entire time, forcing you to stand there and watch. To stand there and wait while she considered your proposition.

The kernel of humiliation within you grew even further.

Sabrina turned her head. “Do you know what my mom said to me when I told her I wanted to dance professionally?”

You blinked, not having expected this as a response. It wasn’t an actual answer to your question, so you tried not to sound annoyed when you said, “Uh, no.”

Sabrina arched a brow. “She said there wasn’t much room for women at the top.”

“She… huh?”

“Success is a zero-sum game.” Sabrina spoke slowly, as one would to a child. “There are fifteen spots offered at the end of our four-year program. If you get one, that means there’s one less spot for me at the table. Why would I help when it’s to my best interest not to?”

For a moment you could only stare at her, open-mouthed.

“See?” Sabrina set her water bottle down. “You can’t even think of a good reason. Maybe you weren’t a ballerina before, but you were a dancer. You know how competitive this field is, especially for women.”

An uncomfortable feeling spread through you. Sabrina’s words were remarkably similar to what you had said to Jimin but still, you hated hearing them thrown back in your face.

“You don’t think this is all a little… juvenile?” you said, a last-ditch effort to salvage the situation. “This isn’t high school anymore, Sabrina. We’ve all made it.”

“Yeah – to Russet,” she said, point blank. “This is barely the start if you want to dance professionally, Y/N. It’s nothing against you personally, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Oh, good. As long as it’s not personal.”

Sabrina smirked. “Well, maybe it’s a little personal. Like I said to you yesterday, I really wouldn’t mind having Jimin for a partner. If you got kicked out, that would solve things, wouldn’t it?”

Teeth gritted, you stopped the next words from leaving your mouth. They hung on the tip of your tongue, stillborn while you pointedly shoved them back down. If you said anything more to her, you might seriously regret it and Sabrina wasn’t worth that kind of stress to you now.

Turning around, you bent to pick up your bag – only to stop as Mr. Jordan entered the room.

“Sorry I’m late, class!” he said, shaking free from his jacket. “Subway was a nightmare. Anyways, I’m here now, so let’s start.”

Realizing you were stuck, you slowly turned back around. It seemed your place at the barre had been decided. Sabrina hid her smile when you took a step closer, placing one hand on the barre and lifting your chin in the air.

It had been silly to ask Sabrina for help. You apparently expected too much from someone so utterly determined to rise alone to the top. You could only assume that kind of attitude would one day rise to bite her in the ass but until then, you just had to grin and bear it.

Even more irksome was the fact that she’d said so many of the same things you’d told Jimin. Pushing this uncomfortable thought aside, you forced yourself to concentrate on the combination Mr. Jordan began.

The entire length of the barre, you avoided eye contact with Sabrina. It was a difficult feat, but you managed it because you had no other choice. Throughout tendus, dégagés and rond de jambes, you sucked it up and stood next to Sabrina in glowering silence.

You were so concentrated, the time at the barre seemed to go by faster than usual. The first time you glanced at the clock was when Mr. Jordan stopped to call for a water break.

Bending abruptly, you grabbed the straps of your bag and said nothing to Sabrina while you walked away. Setting your stuff by near Noelle, you straightened and began to furiously unscrew your cap. She gave you a sympathetic look while you did this, reaching overhead to studiously re-do her bun.

“That bad, huh?” she said.

Furious, you scowled. “She’s an asshole.”

Noelle’s brows shot straight up. “Damn,” she whistled. “What’d the ice queen say?”

“That she hopes I drop out,” you said shortly, turning around. “That there’s only so much room for women at the top. She told me dance is a zero-sum game and if she helps me get a spot at Russet Company, it’d be one less spot for her to take.”

Noelle made a disappointed noise with her tongue. “See,” she said, around a mouthful of bobby pins. “That’s exactly the kind of attitude that’s kept women down for centuries. Let’s ban together to burn the men!”

Although you laughed a little, you quieted quickly. Remembering your conversation with Sabrina made your legs a bit shaky. Shutting your eyes, you took several deep breaths until you felt calmer.

“I know,” you said with a sigh. “I know that it’s stupid and ultimately, I don’t care what Sabrina thinks – but she just makes me so mad.”

“She really said she hopes you drop out?”

Opening your eyes, you nodded. “Apparently, she wants Jimin as her ballet partner.”

“W-ow.” Noelle shook her head. “This plot has more twists than the Winchester mansion.”

Unable to help it, you snorted. “Oh, well,” you said glumly, following Noelle out on the floor. “It’s probably for the best. If this is how she reacts to me asking for help, imagine how awful she’d be as an instructor.”

“Yeah, you definitely dodged a bullet there,” Noelle agreed.

When Mr. Jordan cleared his throat, this led to a scurrying of movement as everyone took their places. He began to show the combination, leading the class through the steps with an easy poise. When the time came for you to break into pairs, you were forced to look around the room before you spotted Jimin.

He stood on the opposite side from you, practicing the steps Mr. Jordan had laid out. You blinked, hesitating a moment before crossing the room to his side. Every time before now, he had come to stand beside you.

Coming to a stop, you looked at him curiously. “Why’re you over here?”

Jimin shrugged in response.

You opened your mouth to continue, but then Mr. Jordan began the partner portion of the combo. Falling silent, you stood beside Jimin while you learned the steps. He was oddly quiet. This quietness alone wasn’t enough to raise any brows, though you typically exchanged at least minimal small talk. You know, hand here, leg there, lift your arms higher – that type of thing.

His silence wasn’t the only thing about him that was odd, though. His grip on your waist felt different today – rough, almost angry as you practiced the first lift. You winced when you landed, stumbling a bit as you whirled around.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked innocently. “What was what?”

You stared at him a moment before deciding it wasn’t worth it. “Whatever,” you said, turning around. “Gentler, next time – okay?”

“Sure.”

Jimin moved back into place, standing in fifth position while Mr. Jordan started the song over. The combination wasn’t an adagio, comprised of slower movements, but a fast-paced pas de deux he’d created last week. You didn’t have much experience with this kind of partnering; most of your classes had preferred slower movements so far.

The fast pace required a higher level of trust with your partner, since you didn’t have time to second-guess all their movements. Apparently, Mr. Jordan had decided the fastest way to learn was to do. Jimin led you through the combination, one hand firm on your waist.

Normally, Jimin was a solid male partner to you. He knew when to push, when to hold back and when to allow you to take the lead. This no longer seemed to be the case. As you started to dance, you found yourself a bit dizzy. Jimin didn’t let you finish each spot before he whisked you around, keeping you – both literally and metaphorically – on your toes.

A swear nearly escaped when he pulled you to his chest – eyes flashing, you turned and started to boureé away. Jimin chassed forward, ending in a lunge for circular port de bras.

“You’re doing it again,” you muttered, moving behind him.

Facing forward, you piqued into arabesque.

“Doing what?” he said blithely.

Jimin twisted, grasping your hand in his as he crossed behind. Placing one hand on your hip, he waited for you to wrap your leg around him in attitude arabesque.

“You know what,” you hissed, as he walked you in a promenade.

Extending your leg fully, you lowered yourself in a penché. Contrary to their appearance, penchés were difficult to do with a partner. It involved an extension to arabesque, then bending with said leg held at a ninety-degree angle, or higher. The male helped with the motion, but his addition altered both your centers of gravity. It might have seemed logical for him to stand behind you, but he actually needed to stand slightly off center. It was easy for one – or both – of you to lose your balance.

You and Jimin had practiced the move enough that it’d become second nature – which is why you began to panic when you felt Jimin’s weight shift.

“Jimin,” you whispered, clenching your abs. “Step back!”

“Step back?” he said innocently, not moving at all.

“Yes! Jimin, you –”

He languidly stepped into the correct position, helping you up a second before you toppled over. You spun, eyes blazing and Jimin caught your knee. The smile he gave you sent rage through your veins, since it was instantly apparent he’d been fucking with you.

You imagined those cartoons where the main character’s head exploded, or became a volcano, or turned into a tea kettle that had steam escaping. This was exactly how you felt, but there was no time to respond, since the next portion of the combination was fast and required intense concentration. Shooting Jimin a glare which promised him a painful death, you continued.

Luckily, barre had been long, so only one combination remained until you were released from class. You contained your annoyance until class had ended, turned to stalk across the room the second Mr. Jordan turned off the music.

Noelle chuckled when she saw, noticing your clear annoyance. “Oh, no,” she said, glancing across the room. “What’d he do now?”

“Oh, nothing,” you seethed, tossing things in your bag. Yanking out sweatpants, you tugged these over your leotard. “Nothing a little conversation won’t fix.”

Knowingly, Noelle nodded. “Is ‘conversation’ code for beating Jimin up in the parking lot?”

Despite yourself, you laughed, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “Unfortunately not,” you said with a sigh as you walked from the room. “This’ll be a lot less fun.”

You came to a stop in the hall, some of your anger diminishing. A current of annoyance simmered beneath the surface though, since it was one thing for Jimin just not to like you – it was another entirely that he purposefully antagonize and jeopardize your career. This was exactly what you’d been worried about when you’d been assigned as partners.

“Well.” Noelle glanced at the room. “Did you want to get dinner tonight? You know, after you’re done tearing Jimin a new one.”

“Dinner sounds good,” you agreed. “I’m hanging out with Finn later, but I’m free before then.”

Noelle nodded sagely. “Good, good. I hear it’s healthy to fuel up before a massive sex marathon.”

Jimin – who’d been exiting the room – stopped short.

“Uh – what?” he said, glancing between you.

Waggling her fingers goodbye, Noelle shrugged and walked past. “Nothing for you to worry about. Good luck walking later, Park!”

Jimin stared at her as she left, completely bewildered until you grabbed him by the elbow and started dragging him away. He stumbled forward, not having expected the motion – but caught up to you fast as he tugged his arm free.

“Hey! Whoa, Y/N – what’re you doing?”

You whirled to face him in the hall.

“What was that?” you demanded.

Jimin blinked at you, uncertain. “Uh, let’s see. I was minding my own business and you just assaulted me –”

“During class,” you interrupted, gesturing at the classroom. “You had such an attitude today. You can’t even say it wasn’t purposeful, because –”

“Y/N.” Jimin stared in disbelief. “Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong? Your memory can’t be that short.”

Faltering a bit, you came to a stop. Jimin’s expression told you you were missing something big. It was last night, you realized. Jimin was mad about last night, when he’d chased you down the hall and you’d basically told him to fuck off.

“Ah,” Jimin said, seeing your understanding dawn. “I take it you remember now. That time you ambushed me in the hall and said I don’t deserve to be here?”

“That’s… that’s not what I meant by that.”

“Oh?” His laugh sounded forced. “You told me I only worked half as hard as you did.”

“Well, because you do!” you sputtered.

The words escaped despite your intent to stay cordial. Jimin was right; you had exploded last night and some of that wasn’t his fault, but the core of what you’d told him remained. Guys did have an easier time than girls in the dance world. That was just a fact.

“Come on, Y/N.” Angrily, Jimin shoved a hand through his hair. “You seriously think that I’ve had it easy? I used to hide my dance stuff in a hockey bag because all the kids at my school teased me about wearing tights.”

Somewhat uncomfortably, you recalled what Finn had said the other night at dinner. Jimin wasn’t wrong about external prejudices regarding male dancers.

“I’m not saying you weren’t teased, Jimin.”

“Teased?” He stared at you in disbelief. “Y/N. I was beat up every day on the playground for the entirety of third grade. When I was eleven, some kids filled my locker with used tampons because I was a ‘pussy.’ Freshman year, I asked a girl to the dance and she said yes – only to stand me up the night of because her friends thought it’d be funny. I once went to ballet class in bare feet for a week because some assholes stole my bag and hid it in the women’s locker room. My life was shit half the time, Y/N,” he said, with sudden vehemence. “The only reason I kept going was because I love dance more than anything else.”

Jimin stopped talking, slightly out of breath and you stared at him in shock, never having heard him this angry before.

You’d thought that you had. You’d thought he’d been angry all those times you beat him in dance, but you had never seen Jimin looking anything like this. Hurt, a little broken and fiercely determined.

In some ways, it felt like the first time you’d seen him.

“Yeah, well…” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I don’t know what to say to that. That sucks.”

Jimin laughed, a bit hollow. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered, glancing away. “Fuck. I didn’t want to… make you feel bad, or whatever. That’s not why I said it. I just wanted you to know I’ve also overcome stuff to be here.”

Hearing him speak, you both bristled and wondered why he said it like that. Like he wanted you specifically to know and not someone else.

“I’m not saying you haven’t worked hard,” you admitted. “That sucks, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that there are ten female dancers for every one guy. Dance is a lot more competitive for women than men.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t also worked my ass off.”

“No one’s saying you didn’t,” you snapped, finally fed up. “I’m just saying more doors were opened for the effort you gave than for mine. And besides,” you added, unable to help yourself. “I’m sure it was real hard, coming from Harleigh Heights.”

Jimin seemed baffled by this. “What does my hometown have anything to do with this?”

“Oh, come on, Jimin. You can’t be that naïve.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“You’re rich!” you blurted. “Or at least, your family is. You could afford all those fancy master classes in the city. You had private lessons, small group lessons and whatever else your parents’ money could buy. All I had was Rita’s Dance Studio.”

Jimin hesitated. “Rita’s isn’t… bad.”

“Jimin,” you said. “I was the only person from my studio to ever place at national dance competitions.”

“That doesn’t mean the studio itself was bad!”

“You have a fucking car in the city!”

He gave you a bewildered look. “What does… that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just another reason we’re different,” you groaned, rubbing your temple. “I know you work hard. I know you do, but you’ve also had way more advantages than I have and sometimes, that sucks.”

Jimin paused. “That’s not really something I can control.”

“It’s not,” you admitted through gritted teeth. Deciding you were done with this conversation, you moved to walk past. “It isn’t your fault, but the challenges we’ve faced aren’t the same and you know it.”

Before you could leave, Jimin grabbed your arm.

He turned you to face him, barely an inch from his face. Everyone always said Jimin reminded them of a puppy – cute, loveable, and eager to please. This had never been something you agreed with. Sure, Jimin could be cute when he wanted to be, but beneath that lay a deeper hunger, an insistent desire to prove himself in a way you found all too relatable.

Jimin held your gaze. “Seeing as you’ve never walked in my shoes and I’ve never walked in yours,” he said quietly. “Why don’t we stop making comparisons?”

Your gaze narrowed a bit, but before you could respond, he continued.

“If you’re having trouble keeping up, stop making excuses and ask someone for help.” Abruptly, he dropped your arm. “Otherwise, you’ll never improve.”

Jimin left without another word, jerking his bag higher as he stalked down the hall. You watched him go, too stunned to do anything else.

His last words – however accurate – made your ears burn. Hands curled into fists, you saw red for awhile, until Jimin had gone. After several deep breaths, you finally calmed down enough to be objective.

Unfortunately, objectivity was not in your favor, because Jimin was right.

He was right about you and you hated that fact. Even if your circumstances had been different, all that had changed when you both were accepted to Russet. Now, you were on a level playing field and you were the one person hanging on to what came before. The only thing that mattered now was what happened next; if you couldn’t compete at Russet, you’d be pulled from the game.

And the one person standing in the way of success was yourself.

Jimin had nothing to do with your lack of ballet technique. Sure, he had more money than you did – seriously, who brought a car to the city? – but it wasn’t like you’d been destitute. Your parents had made enough to afford all your lessons and costumes and dance competition fees. You’d had a studio, even if it wasn’t a fancy one within city boundaries.

Exhaling, you considered the other point he had made. While it was true male dancers had certain advantages, Jimin was damn good despite this. If you were being honest, you knew he was one of the best dancers at Russet regardless of gender.

Nearly ten minutes had passed before you began to walk down the hall. Everyone else had left for lunch, so it was just you and your thoughts as you exited the building. You felt exhausted, only partly because of the intensity of Mr. Jordan’s class.

You’d always been a planner. It was something your parents had teased you about but secretly, you’d always enjoyed. Here though, you felt at a loss.

For the first time in your life, you were forced to consider what would happen if you gave dance everything you had – if you tried everything you could think of – and still came up short. Everyone always said if you loved something, keep trying and you’d eventually succeed, but you’d seen enough by now to know this wasn’t necessarily true.

Everyone at Russet was talented. Everyone here was a hard worker. You didn’t make it this far without both of those things – which meant you could have it all and still fail.

Coming to a stop on the sidewalk, you released a sigh. It was mid-September and already, the leaves had begun to change. You’d been at Russet for nearly a month and felt you’d yet to make any real progress.

Pushing this thought away, you wondered what you’d do with your life if you got kicked out. Go to a college near home, maybe. Find another career path that’d be mildly fulfilling and yet, nowhere near the release you experience through dance. The idea of it made you feel somewhat ill.

All you’d ever wanted in life was to dance. On some level, you’d thought things would be easier once you got into Russet. This had been a naïve expectation; you saw that now. Lift and the struggles which came with it refused to stop for even a second. Again, your former dance teacher’s words came to mind. If dance wasn’t truly what you wanted, it was better to give up than to go through the struggle.

You did want it, though.

Even if you had to go through hell to get it, dance was the thing which made you feel alive. If you didn’t make it at Russet, you could figure out what to do next – but until that moment came, you’d do absolutely everything necessary to make sure you stayed.

In the back of your mind, a voice whispered – even ask Jimin for help? – but you ignored it. That question could wait for another day, you decided as you walked away.

Even though he’d made some valid points, everything else still made you see red. The more you thought about it though, the more persistently his words seemed to grind away your resolve. Jimin may have been pissed at you, but he was also correct.

You could either continue to walk around campus feeling sorry for yourself, or you could improve.

Teeth gritted, you decided to do the latter.

Lounged at the foot of Finn’s bed, you scrolled through your TikTok in an endless loop.

“Ugh, my muscles are so sore,” you complained. Reaching out your foot, you poked him with your toe. “Massage them for me.”

“All of them?”

“Uh-huh.”

Grabbing your foot, Finn pulled this into his lap. To his credit, he started to give – well, not a massage, but he did something. Finn began poking the bottom of your foot with his index fingers until you finally laughed.

“Okay, not that!” you grumbled, pulling your leg back.

Finn grinned and turned a page in his book while you let your gaze linger. He looked good, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he’d pulled on after sex. It was the first time all week you’d been truly alone; things had gone faster than usual, but that was to be expected. It had been awhile since the last time. It was nice just to see him, to touch him and talk to him – you’d missed having a semblance of normalcy in your life.

Innocently, Finn flipped the next page in his book. “What’s wrong? You didn’t enjoy the pleasure of my touch?”

“I did not, no.”

Tossing his book aside, Finn bared his teeth and began to crawl forward. With a shriek, you backed away until your spine hit the wall and you laughed.

“No,” you begged, kicking his shin as you grinned. “No tickling!”

Finn growled mercilessly, but eventually relented. Twisting, he dropped to lay his head in your lap.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I’ll just hang out here, then. My book is so far away. I guess I can’t study. Too bad.”

Although you rolled your eyes, you leaned your head to the wall. Finn’s roommate was gone for the weekend, giving you the entire place to yourselves. You knew you’d have to leave at some point – ballet class started tomorrow at 8:30 AM – but until then, you could happily live in denial.

“Don’t you have homework to do?” you asked. “Tests? Something?”

Finn shrugged. “I already studied today.”

A twinge of jealousy went through you, although you squashed this immediately. Finn’s collegiate experience was different from yours, but this was through no fault of his own. 

You’d arrived at his dorm room shortly after dinner and, after unloading the crappy events of your day, Finn had merely shrugged and said his day had been fine. It seemed Finn was adapting to Redfield like a fish to water; nearly everyone you passed on your way to his room had stuck their head out to greet him.

On your way over, you’d considered asking Finn for advice about Jimin, but had given up on the idea soon after arrival. Visiting Finn was like stepping into a bubble. You knew the vision would pop as soon as you stepped outside, but it was nice to exist outside the worries of Russet.

Finn wouldn’t understand what you were going through either, which again, wasn’t his fault. His greatest stress was an upcoming test, while you were constantly on edge about whether you’d fail. There were no grades in your classes, no real way to tell if you were passing.

The most difficult part of Finn’s freshman year had been registering for his classes; a fact which cast your experience in stark perspective. If Finn dropped a class or had to miss a test, it didn’t really matter for him in the long run. It mattered for you.

Every time you’d previously mentioned Jimin to Finn, his advice had been to simply ignore him. It wasn’t the best advice, all things considered. Jimin was your assigned dance partner for the semester; you needed him in order to pass your classes.

It helped some to vent, but at the end of the day, you didn’t want Finn trying to fix things for you. That was what he did – he solved things. He loved to fix other people’s problems, loved to tie up loose ends and find neat solutions. The problem was though, you weren’t sure such easy answers existed.

Before you could suggest a movie to watch, someone knocked on the door to Finn’s dorm room.

Lifting his head from your stomach, Finn called, “Enter!”

The door swung open to reveal a tall, gangly-looking freshman in the hall. He looked at you with some surprise before glancing at Finn.

“Dude,” he said, sounding excited. “Sigma Nu is having a crazy party two blocks away. Ellie just texted saying there’s no cover for guys. A bunch of us are heading over – you in?”

“What – seriously?” Finn sat up straight. “No cover? That’s a first.”

He beamed and glanced at you, so you gave a small smile.

“It is?” you said tentatively.

Your words sounded uncertain even to your own ears, but Finn nodded excitedly. You hadn’t been out enough times this semester to notice.

“Coming!” door guy yelled to someone in the hall. Stepping back, he returned to the room. “So, you in?”

Your automatic reaction was no, since it was a Wednesday and you had class tomorrow, but before you could speak, Finn hopped from the bed.

“Sure!” he agreed, searching for his coat. “Y/N – you good with that?”

Hesitating, you fiddled with a corner of his blanket. Ideally, you’d love going to a weekday party with your boyfriend. Finn’s enthusiasm could be contagious, and you wanted to see him in his collegiate environment. He’d been the life of the party at high school and you knew it’d be the same here.

Unfortunately for you, ballet class wasn’t something you could just forget. You’d made it a personal rule not to drink before class and it would be no fun to attend a frat party sober. You were already skating on thin ice at Russet; you could only imagine what would happen if you showed up to class hungover.

“I don’t think I can,” you said softly, wishing the guy would leave Finn’s room. “I have ballet in the morning. Remember?”

“Oh.” Finn’s disappointment showed for only a moment. Hiding this swiftly, he sat back down on the bed. “Sorry, Ben,” he said, forcing a smile. “I think we’re staying in.”

Door guy – Ben, apparently – paused. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” Finn nodded. “Y/N and I already have plans.”

Ben seemed confused; you assumed from this that he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. 

“Really?” he said with a frown. “I thought you said you wanted to come.”

“It’s my fault,” you interjected, feeling a bit guilty. “I have class super early in the morning.”

“Oh, is that all?” He brightened. “That’s no big deal – so do I!”

Your lips tightened, not wanting to be rude, but this guy just wasn’t getting it.

“Yeah,” you said slowly. “But I can’t be hungover for mine.”

Ben stared. “Huh. Okay, well – if you change your mind. So weird,” he laughed, exiting Finn’s room to the hall. “I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend, Finn? Later!”

Pulling the door shut, he left the two of you in silence.

You stared in shock at the door, attempting to process everything you were feeling.

There was guilt at keeping Finn from something he wanted to do. Longing, from not being able to do the fun things that you wanted. And nausea, at hearing Ben say he didn’t know Finn had a girlfriend.

Hesitant, you glanced in Finn’s direction, but found him looking away – at the ceiling, at the floor, anywhere but at you.

“So…” You paused. “What was that about?”

“What do you mean?” Finn leaned back on the bed. Turning on his TV, he navigated to Netflix. “Want to watch a movie, or something?”

“I guess.”

You continued to sit there, clutching his blanket and staring blankly at the screen. After another moment, you decided this couldn’t be brushed aside and faced him on the bed.

“Why haven’t you told anyone you have a girlfriend?” 

Finn looked at you, surprised. “I have!”

“Oh?” you said, glancing at the door. “Then, why didn’t he know?”

Finn snorted. “Ben? Look – I like him, but the dude’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. As you may have noticed,” he added, giving a pointed brow raise.

Begrudgingly, you nodded. You had noticed.

“Hey.” Finn sat up straight. Clicking off the TV, he scooted closer on the bed. “I swear I’ve told people about you,” he said, taking your hands. “Promise. Ben is just an idiot. The instant someone is off-limits to them, they turn invisible. He’s probably even forgotten his sister by now.”

“Gross,” you said, wrinkling your nose.

Finn nodded in agreement. “Exactly. Ben’s an ass. I wouldn’t even hang out with him if it weren’t for the other guys on the floor. College. You know how it is.”

“Sure,” you said slowly, although you really didn’t.

There were multiple people on your floor and at Russet whom you didn’t like. You weren’t unfriendly to them, of course – with Sabrina being the exception – but neither did you hang out with them just because you were classmates. This entire world of collegialism was foreign to you.

“I love you,” Finn said.

Finally, you cracked a smile. “Love you, too.” Sliding both arms around his waist, you settled down on his chest. “Sucks about Ben being a dick, though.”

Finn laughed, brushing a kiss to your hair. “I think I’ll survive.”

You shook your head, knowing he was right. Finn always got through things like this; troubles seemed to easily roll off his back like water. You watched him turn on the TV and choose a comedy on Netflix. 

When the first scene began, you tried hard to relax, but this proved to be difficult. In high school, you’d been able to compartmentalize fairly easily but now, you found worries steadily leaking back in. Your Finn-bubble, the one which had always been so impenetrable, had started to become porous.

Worries about Russet, about your classes, about your teachers began to seep in and no longer did Finn’s dorm room seem like such a haven.

You didn’t belong here.

The thought occurred to you suddenly, as obvious as knowing the main characters on screen would eventually get together. Finn’s world was entirely different from yours, completely alien from Russet and you had no idea how to navigate the two worlds together.

It made you uneasy to consider, seated with your head on his shoulder and arms around his waist, but instead of facing this knowledge head-on, you pushed it away.

Too many things were being kept in your mind-boxes and, instead of disappearing, the thought continued to linger. It followed as you left Finn’s dorm, walked through the city streets, up the steps of Grace Hall and all the way to your bed.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre will be posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

[ RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST ]

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[astaroth1357]

Leviathan's Odyssey 4:

Conquest

*more time has passed and Lucifer is in his room finishing a mountain of paperwork when he hears a knock on his door. Before he even has a chance to ask who it is,  Asmo and Mammon stumble into the room - both looking like they've just been through a war zone. Mammon us cradling a sleeping but equally messy looking Satan against his shoulder. Lucifer stands upon seeing them in such a state*

Lucifer: What in the world happened to you three?? Weren't you just taking Satan to the market?!

Asmo: *throws his hands up in exasperation* We did, but this little beast leapt out of my arms and attacked the cute succubus I was chatting up!!

Mammon: You'd think she stole his wallet or somethin'...

Asmo: *rolls his eyes and glares at his brother* No, Mammon. You stole her wallet.

Mammon: *smirks despite himself* What? You're a good distraction.

Asmo: Oh, shut up scumbag!

Mammon: Hey! I am not a-!!!

Lucifer: *beams Mammon in the head with a pen and whispers urgently* Quiet…! Or you'll wake him up… 

*both Mammon and Asmo exchange looks before silently agreeing to keep it down… for all their sakes…*

Asmo: Still… it was so awful, Lucifer… You should have seen what he did to that lovely woman's neck…! And her face… Ugh… *starts actually tearing up* Such a waste of good beauty…

Mammon: *shrugs, unbothered really* Eh. Least he learned his first word today.

Lucifer: *raises his eyebrows in disbelief* He did?? I didn't think he was capable of speech… *he starts to walk over to them to have a look at the sleeping baby* What word?

Mammon: *sweatdrops* Um… well. It's "D-"

*before Mammon can finish his sentence, Satan's eyes suddenly fling open having sensed Lucifer near and he howls a shrill, baby-ish battlecry-*

Satan: DIE!!!

*he whips his head around and sinks what few - but sharp - teeth his demon body has into Mammon's cheek, making his older brother scream and drop him instinctively. Thankfully, Lucifer is close enough to catch the snarling boy before he hits the ground*

Mammon: *clutches his bleeding cheek* OW!! What the hell was that for!?! 

Lucifer: Mammon!! Don’t drop the baby!

Mammon: But he bit me!! On the FACE!!!

Lucifer: I don't care!!

*he holds Satan out at a cautious arms length while he throws his little fists in the air*

Satan: DIE!! Diediedie!!! Die die DIE DIE!!!

Lucifer: Well… He does seem fond of that word, doesn't he…? *sighs*

Asmo: How uncute… *sighs along with brother but Lucifer shakes his head*

Lucifer: Yes, but this is still a promising development…

Mammon: It is?? The little monster attacked a chick and bit me!

Lucifer: He's not a monster, or need I remind you that he's a demon? Just like the rest of us.

*both Lucifer’s glare and his words make Mammon shrink back a little, re-thinking what he said silently...*

Lucifer: … And no. Not the biting, you imbecile. The talking. If he can speak, then maybe soon he can reason. And if he can do that, he can learn…

Mammon: What good is that gonna do us if he's tryin' to bite our heads off…?

Lucifer: *looks at Mammon with deepening irritation* Because if he can learn, we can teach him not to do that, my sweet, stupid baby brother… *he sighs again and starts bouncing Satan in his arms to get him to calm down*

Lucifer: One of you go get Mr. Whiskers… I'll stay with him for now.

Mammon: Not it! 

*he books it from the room to go find a bandage, leaving Asmo with Lucifer and little Satan. The more Lucifer rocks and bounces the little demon, though, the more he appears to calm down and even start to smile. It’s as cute as a baby’s grin always is*

Satan: Die! Die~!

Asmo: *watches Lucifer actually calm the little hellspawn down in disbelief* Wow… I didn't think he could actually smile…

Lucifer: *looks down at the grinning baby with a somewhat relieved expression on his face* As long as he's not shouting anymore… Now go get Mr. Whiskers. He's in the crib over there.

Asmo: *looks at the calmed baby a moment longer before sighing to his brother* If you insist...

~Meanwhile in the Midst of an Underwater Battlefield~

*the ocean water is awash in bloody colors as Levi cuts down another ravenous beast in his way. He's been carving a path through the Devil's Sea for weeks now with Lotan by his side, his pace only increasing as his power grows*

*his conquest started small, only taking new territories that were close to his own, but there was always something needling the back of his mind… A bitter and resentful feeling that he couldn't quite place, nor direct, but anytime he saw somewhere better than his own it just spurred him forward...*

"Why can't I have that, too??"

*he'd lost his home, his family, his safety and it just wasn't fair ...But he was going to fix that*

*swinging his trident through murky water, he easily slashes through and dismembers the hordes of grunts attempting to charge him. They're no match for him, really. His increasingly war torn body seemed to be made for this - for darting along the currents and impaling everything in his wake… Any wounds he’d get would heal instantly, every life he’d take fueled him farther. He hadn’t slept in days and honestly, he didn’t need to. He had never been strong as an angel but now? He could gut creatures thrice his size...*

*he has to slash through waves upon waves of body fodder before he finally feels the blades connect with his actual target. An enormous beast that dwarfs him without question, shaped like a man but with an array of talon-lined tentacles instead of feet. Its size compared to the mere minions that surround him marking it as the alpha of its race* 

*it snarls and attempts to lunge for him, but Levi plunges the prongs of his trident through the scales of its neck to halt it. The wounds are shallow… for now. But one wrong move and a decapitation is guaranteed*

Levi: (Stand. Down.)

*the creature attempts to screech at him, but one slight twist of the trident silences its cries. The chaotic fighting starts to calm around them as the rest of the beast's colony freezes. Levi can’t hide a satisfied smirk, he likes it when they push back just a little... it makes the surrender feel even better. He doesn’t let up on the pressure for a moment, but he regards the beast with cold, slitted eyes - assessing what's before him…*

Levi: (Can you understand me...?)

*the creature doesn’t respond to him with words, but a low rumble from its chest resembling acknowledgement... He’s worked with less*

Levi: (Good enough. You have two choices.) *he presses the blades just a centimeter deeper and forces the creature to look him in the eye*

Levi: (Join me… or die.)

*Lotan’s seven snapping heads rise up from behind him, long necks weaving in and out from each other as every one seems to strain to reach the victim first. Behind his one friend, other creatures of all shapes and sizes - each more horrifying than the last - peel away from their battles with the grunts and fall in line behind him. Soon, there are twenty or so other towering monstrosities who all met with a similar offer. Join his ranks or perish in an instant...*

*the creature watches Levi and his hungry generals crowd the water before it and lets out one last hiss… before bowing its head in silence. Levi takes this as a sign of defeat and pulls his trident free. Blood pools into the water around them, but the cuts are shallow enough to heal*

Levi: *doesn’t even glance back to at his ranks, but gives a command anyway* (Take him.)

*long, black tendrils lash out from behind him and start to drag away his new recruit. It’ll get used to things with them soon enough... While the grunts disperse to follow their former leader, one of Lotan’s many heads joins his smaller friend*

Lotan: (More land for us… Good land.)

Levi: (But there’s still better…) *the feeling comes back to him like a swarm of buzzing bees festering beneath his skin... raw, burning, and irritating* (Isn’t there?)

Lotan: (Yes.) *the beast again licks at the floating blood by its snout. If he realizes Levi’s upset, he’s not saying anything… he never does* (Far better. Always better. But not strong enough yet…)

*Levi finally glances back at his forces, holding his trident aloft - like clockwork, those who see it freeze and the others follow suit, all awaiting their next command. Some he bested in battle, others he dragged in by force - others still only following him because they sense the strength within... a veritable army growing beneath the waves…*

Levi: (We’re going to be.)

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

-Jughead -the writers’ self-insert- is tripping balls in this episode. Make of that what you will. 

-Glen is justifiably suspicious when Betty mentions another man just after their romp. He immediately pulls rank and declares “No Jugheads allowed”. It’s the war of the moustaches in Riverdale and we all know who’ll be winning. Did you unironically wear your suspenders down for 3 whole years, Glen? I didn’t think so.

-It’s Parent-Teacher Night at Riverdale. Only 11 parents are present, which makes sense, as only the Drama Teacher and the Football Coach are there.

-Veronica’s “For God’s sake, Chad, stop wasting my time!” should be a tag.

-Same goes for Nana Rose’s “We must pray for deliverance!”

-Literary agent Sam and his hot dog stand make an appearance.

-Smithers also makes an appearance. He’s still working towards that pension.

-Jughead has been doing Maple Mushrooms for inspo. He orders some from his New York dealer aptly named Speedy. I am outraged on Cheryl’s behalf that the Blossoms are not involved in this maple mushroom story line.

-You won’t believe it, but Polyporus or Cerioporus squamosus aka the maple mushroom aka the Dryad’s saddle (which is a very cool name) is actually not a hallucinogenic.

-Why, Reggie, you smooth old-ladykiller, bringing Nana Rose roses!

-Riverdale acknowledges the ridiculousness of who has and who hasn’t the serial killer genes. And by acknowledges, I mean: mentions.

-The F.B.I. according to Riverdale consists of: Charles the serial killer, Betty the almost serial killer and Glen the serial killer fanboy.

-A reporter from the New York Times informs Archie that General Taylor and one of his missions are under investigation. Once it is pointed out to him, Archie immediately suspects that he might have been part of something shady. 

-It turns out that Veronica thought that her husband might have crashed the helicopter she was in on purpose, but that, somehow, hasn’t been an issue for her before? If only she had a friend in the F.B.I. to help her investigate Chad’s shady business ...

-No one comes at Juniper and Dagwood’s Birthday Party, which is suspicious: was Jerry the only classmate they pushed down the stairs??

-Riverdale has only one prison and it belongs to Hiram, who sets all the prisoners free so that they can trash the town. The prisoners attack Riverdale High instead of taking the money and running, because they might be convicted murderers but they’re not thieves, dammit!

-Archie opts for an atmospherical mortal combat under the dusky emergency lights of RHS, instead of fixing the fuse box and then hunting down the escaped prisoners. Jughead’s artistic vein must be rubbing off on him. Jarchie foreshadowing for sure.

-All prisoners attack RHS? No! Charles and Chick visit the Coopers to get married with their family in the most extra wedding ever! Chick has even let his hair grow especially for the occasion. #relationshipgoals

-Glen, who turns out to be Charles’ nemesis from the Academy, shows up uninvited. If it’s one thing the Coopers cannot abide, it’s lack of manners.

-Mr Smith (that’s the one without the serial killer genes) provides Betty (who has the serial killer genes) with a deadly weapon. Betty sees her chance to stab Glen without ramifications and goes for it. She then stubs Chick. Nature vs Nurture: 1-0.

-Penelope delivers the most epic line ever uttered in Riverdale:

“Nightmare child, I have escaped that hideous prison and praise God that I did. Flames are encroaching upon Thornhill.”

-There’s not enough time for the Blossoms to both chase Minerva (and sacrifice her) and set up a satanic altar. They chose the latter.

-A crazy windstorm saves Thornhill but most of the grove has perished. Is it time for Cheryl to turn to the maple mushroom business?

-It’s too soon for a proper bughead reunion, so the writers have Jughead hallucinating sex with Betty. Her presence is enough for him to write the new chapter of his new book. It’s called The Transubstantiation. He promptly transubstantiates himself into thin air.

-Uncle Frank’s tostitos can’t hold a candle to Hiram Lodge’s doritos. Fact.

-By this time Toffee has probably gone feral in the woods. Odds are she’ll be the first to find Jughead. All hope for Toffee finally meeting Jughead is not lost!

One down. Nine more opportunities for the writers to hallucinate the next episode.

[maribabyart]

Do you have any Demon Martha headcanons? How do you think her reunion with Mrs. Mayberry (The teacher who paid for her assassination) in hell would go?

 OK YES I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THIS HERE WE GO --

MARTHA HEADCANONS <3

So, I’m gonna start with her before she died so I can fully get into why every part of her is the way she is as a demon.

Martha is light skinned Latina woman with family coming from Venezuela. Her mother has a much darker skin tone than her, but her father is far more light-skinned, where she gets her complexion from. While she was raised in America, her parents were immigrants. She was born at home, and she didn’t get a birth certificate until she was four, the year before she started schooling.

She has three older brothers. They were very rambunctious with Martha as a child, pulling pranks on her/with her, taking her hunting, etc.

She was raised out on a farm in the middle of a forested area in Kentucky. They raised cattle, sheep, chickens, and horses. Martha’s main job on the farm was to groom/ride horses and feed chickens.

She learned her sharp-shooter skills in a more intense version of something like 4H unique to her area. She was fantastic with a bow and arrow, and even better with her firearms.

Cannibalism was normalized in Martha’s life from a young age. She knew that it must be kept secret from the outside world, and that it wasn’t accepted. However, it wasn’t something she found to be horrid.

Her family -- and their close friends -- came from a long lineage of Satanic cultists that practiced cannibalism to purge any bit of, “soul” remaining in the corpses of their sacrifices. Due to this, Martha had evolved to be able to be immune to the ill side effects of cannibalism, along with the ability to not feel repulsed by the idea of eating human meat.

Her favorite part of the body growing up was the brain, and it still is to this day. She loves the frontal lobe slathered in spices and hot sauce.

She began her cultish killings at age fourteen, when she officially joined the cult of her family’s descent -- Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida (Fellowship of the Forbidden Fruit, a refrence to their following of Lucifer)

Martha didn’t love Raphael Peterson, or, “Ralphie”. She was married of to him at age sixteen, when she became a, “Woman” in the cult’s eyes. They were both meant to appear as an ideal couple so that people wouldn’t suspect them, as their parents before them have.

Ralph and Martha always saw each other as friends with benefits.

They moved to Dayton, Tennessee to start their family when they turned eighteen.

In Nashville, Martha started singing to music her husband played in Taverns. Think Dolly Parton style music. She sounded a lot like that.

Their first child was born when Martha was eighteen: Their daughter, Jolene Peterson. Two years later, they had their son, Beau Peterson.

Martha was always really involved with her kids’ school activities, and she was always volunteering to work events, and her kids were in every activity they could be.

She used her physical attractiveness to seduce and kill men.

While sex favorable, Martha is on the aspec -- greysexual (sexual pleasure is irrelevant to her, and she only engages in it to appease her partner generally. She only finds sexual attraction in people while in the act.) Because of this fact, Martha only has affairs for the sake of gaining trust to bring the men home so they can be killed and eaten.

When Martha was shot, the community villainized Mrs. Mayberry because the town darling, Martha Jane Nunez Robles-Peterson, would NEVER cheat, right? The situation was misread: Martha was just talking to Jarold Mayberry that night about t-ball-related things, right? He WAS the the little league captain for her 6-year-old-son’s league, wasn’t he?

Martha was gifted millions by the community, and people were insanely supportive of her. They wanted the sweet Martha they, “knew” to get better soon. They loved her so -- such a darling woman!

Her music became more well known, and soon, Martha was all over TV. Her big musical break came from when she auditioned for American Idol and made it. Her sob-story propelled her, and she eventually won.

Martha was a hero to everyone around her -- surviving a traumatic event that was uncalled for, while also being so damn chipper and kind.

Hell, did you guys see the background in one of those scenes?! Martha was canonly proclaimed a SAINT! People loved her that much.

She used the public trust to lure in more victims and never be suspected.

Martha was 28 when she died. Ralphie was 28 as well. Jolene was 10, and Beau was 8.

Ralphie managed to survive the explosion, albeit he was completely paralyzed, and the two children went to heaven. Ralphie repented during his last month alive, and confessed to his crimes. He was sent to heaven as well.

Martha and the children were declared to have died in a bear attack, as Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida covered up their true demise with ease.

People were heart broken -- Martha’s music was used in sad collages on Youtube, Tik Toks had Martha’s face in them for memorials.

No one ever realized her crimes.

Now! As a demon....

In hell, Martha picked up the alias Hero -- it’s what she was in life, right? I’ll be calling her Hero from now on.

Hero is both different and similar to how she was when she was alive. She’s still the got her kind-hearted, southern mama vibe going for her: She tends to be able to fit into any demonic crowd well, either by attractiveness or by sheer, overwhelming allure -- she’s a very magnetic personality.

As far as powers go, Hero’s are mostly related to firearms. She’s acquired these powers through deal making and soul dealing, as most demons do. Her charming aura very quickly lure people into thinking she’s naive or really just being honest with them.

Her nails can peel back to allow her to shoot from, “finger guns”. Each finger is a different gun, besides her middle and index fingers. They are both shotguns. Together, they make a double barrel shotgun.

When in full demonic form, Hero’s bandages become sentient. They peel away from her wound, revealing a minigun like weapon in the hole in her head. This can rapid fire while the bandages can grab onto things or hoist Hero up. She can make this last for five minutes -- ten at the longest -- before she gives out to sheer exhaustion and needs to eat demon meat to replenish herself.

Within her first week in hell, she was known to be powerful. Not quite an overlord, but powerful enough to hang around overlords. 

She hit overlord status three months later, during the terf war seen in Hazbin Hotel’s pilot: She took several areas of land, and was seen to have several lesser demons flocking to be on her good side.

Hero used her land to build up a bar and grill that serves strictly demon meat and blood, where demons can play music and dance. It’s like a fucked up country dinner. It’s an insanely popular addition to Cannibal Colony, where she lives.

The place is called La Cocina de la Calle Kuru (The Kuru Street Kitchen)

Hero REALLY wants to get her hands on exterminator tools, but she’s not really a fan of black market deals -- it’s too “trashy” for her.

Hero knows Alastor pretty well, as he’s came in for meat and to watch the music. They’ve had pretty decent conversations while she was on break, seeing as they were both influential  southern, cannibalistic serial killers. It’s a running gag between them where they jokingly talk about who was more iconic -- “I bet I took out more belles in a lifetime than you could in your entire afterlife!” “Well hon, at least I could eat the brains without gettin’ Kuru!”

She talks to Rosie a lot about business, and has met Niffty and Mimzy before. (Al hooked a bitch up with some friends lmao)

She REALLY likes Mimzy. She reminds her of Ralphie, and they became super fast friends. 

Vox and Hero have a confusing sort of friendship, as neither really wants to be seen with the other -- In his case, because she’s much lower on the overlord spectrum than him, and in her case, because she’s no stranger to Alastor and Vox’s hatred for one another. However, she often finds herself consoling Vox on sleepless nights after closing up the bar, trying to convince him that Valentino is NOT worth his time. Beyond that and him occasionally paying her back in tech at random hours of the morning, they don’t talk often.

Hero LOVES dancing! Like, a lot.

She’s seen Charlie’s ad for the Happy Hotel. Her and Mimzy watched it, and they both thought it was the stupidest damn thing they’d ever seen. However, Hero said she was happy Charlie got up there, because she was just, “Cute as a button, that lil’ sweatpea was!”

Hero’s best friends are Mimzy and an unnamed demon who specializes in black market, extermination tool selling (the one seen in in Addict -- Cherri Bomb’s former lover).

These two people, and these two people alone, can call her “Martha”

Hero cooks whenever she’s stressed. She also adores sewing and binging soap operas and reality shows on Voxflix.

Hero’s Instagram would be, “HeroicMelodies” in reference to her music career and name.

Hero gets hit on A LOT, and she despises it. She doesn’t need to seduce people anymore to get away with murder, and she doesn’t want to. She dresses the way she does because she LIKES that clothing. People can fuck off.

The reason Hero is white and pink is to show how innocent she looks. Her pitch-black eyes show her dark soul.

Hero sings in Spanish to herself when cleaning up.

Sometimes, Hero and Rosie spend holidays going around with ground demon meat to throw to the hell crows and other critters. They find it peaceful.

Hero, shockingly, holds no hatred for I.M.P., and commonly jokes about how the I.M.P.’s, “Did her a favor” by sending her somewhere she can actually be her. She has no idea who called for the hit, though. 

Hero finds Blitzo’s Instagram posts being poorly spelled to be, “Damn near precious”.

She thinks he’s a teenager, and probably would think it less adorable if she knew he was a grown man with a grown kid.

Hero doesn’t care about Mrs. Mayberry at all. Like, at all. She honestly assumes the woman is in heaven. She knew Mayberry wasn’t bad -- she probably wouldn’t care if she was in hell, though. Oh well. Sucks to suck, bitch.

Husk frequents La Cocina de la Calle Kuru to drink and engage in the gambling scene. Hero finds him trashy, but can’t say she hates him. She finds him funny as hell, and enjoys the business. Just not someone she’d personally hang out with.

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

The Brothers reacting to Outlast with an easily scared MC (Horror 2)

Edit: i accidentally put this on the wrong blog and i didn’t notice until my laptop and stuff was shut down qwq , so I’m going to repost it here still

(MY COMPUTER SHUT OF GOOGLE CHROME TWICE ERASING THIS TWICE QWQ) (This time I made it a Scared Easily MC 1. You can be scared for one game and not another game 2. unfazed MC would of been the same XD Also im adding react games depending on what genre , I’ll make them squeals like horror 1 and 2 or cutesy 3 and 4 )

Previous:  https://husky-obey-me.tumblr.com/post/618668040318484480/the-brothers-reacting-to-alien-isolation-with-an

Suggested by @izzieg3987 Warning: cursing

Lucifer

-When you once asked him to watch you play a horror game again -he was about to denial until he noticed how she seems a little tense -after a minute , he sighed in defeat and agreed -This time when he sat down , you went onto his lap and huddle up against him -This concerns him even more given how you were shaking a little before -The game soon starts and the aura the game gave off was the same as the last but was in a more normal-ish situation -once again you start shaking , he wonders if this game was worst then the last -”So you’re scared of Insane humans but not blood thristy aliens?” he teased a little -”n-no! It’s just more realistic and a bit more graphic -As the game continues, you were right, the game was more graphic then the other game and can see why you’d be scared -During chase scenes, you’d freak out and at small moments , you’d hyperventilate and he’d force you to pause until you calm down -After you were finished with the game ,he makes a note to research any horror human world games might be too scary for MC

Mammon

- “NUH UH “No way! i ain’t watching another scary game!” -then he noticed how scared you looked in your face -”Mammon...P-please..?” -he clenched his heart. You looked so cute but he felt so bad -”....UGGHHHHHHHHHHH fine.” -When you started , the back of his head was on your chest, he made sure to have you close, not for his sake but yours, since your HIS human -This game was scarier then the last. -He tried to keep his cool but the chase scenes showed his fears -”FUCKING RUN MR PIGGY IS HERE” -after it calmed down, he put his head on your cheek to soothe you and you would nuzzle in it -after you finished you both sighed in relief - “if you’re still feeling scared, THE Mammon will protect ya!” “you were screaming just as much as me~” “Sh-Shut it!” -he kisses your forehead “that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to protect ya..”

Levi

-He loves playing games with you so it’s no surprise he would say yes , though he was hesitant when you mentioned it was a horror game again -This time , he notices you being a little frightful when you insert the game -He didn’t judge since he would be scared of horror games too but you weren’t scared last time...was this one worst? he thought -As soon as the game starts, he already has a chill down his spine -As much scarier as it was, he wasn’t as scared as he was before -the only scenes that really scare him are the first chase scene and the “main “ villains -When you heard “little piggy” you immediately freak out since the bad guy is there -He tried to calm you down and tried to guide you “just go the other way, MC He won’t find you if you go there!” -you were still afraid -with his gaming senses, he held your hands while you still had the controller and he moves the character away -He soon realizes he was technically holding your hands and is a red mess -He feels bad about how startled you were so you guys finish half way and head back to his room to watch anime and finish another time

Satan

-He only has interest in watching you play horror games, so you make sure to mention that first -He cheerfully agrees but takes quick notice to how scared you were -”are you ok, Kitten?” -”y-yes! I’m fine! Im just so e-excited!” -”Liar. he knows when you lie and he can definitely tell -besides , he knows the difference between fear and excitement and it doesn’t wasn’t excitement -He let it slide until it started -He had his arms wrapped around you in case you were really scared -Like before, he found the game interesting and fascinated by the story -He wasn’t really scared at all , just disturbed by ..certain scenes *coughnakedbrothers*cough* -The chases scenes really scared you and he was shocked since you were complete fine with them in the last game -he’d tell you to pause when the chase was done so that he’s stroke your head to calm you -After finishing, you were fearful and sleepy , so he picked you up and took you to his room , where you would rest on him with his jacket over you while he read his story

Asmo

-”No! Im not watching another horror game! Not even if you sit on me” He crossed his arms in a huff “Please Asmo?,,I don’t wanna be a-alone...” -His eyes got wide when he saw you were scared -he was straight up confused but that meant that this one was scarier then the last -He hesitated but gave in “fiiiine, only for you sweetie “ -He has his arm over you for comfort and through out the game , he wasn’t scared -he was too busy being horny over the guys in the game -”look at that muscular figure~” -you weren’t disturbed by the fact he found them attractive, you were disturbed because the guys were insane with the thirst for death and asmo was horny for them -when chase scenes were on , He was complimenting on how Chris Walker is “meaty” -He calmed you when you were a scared mess -After the game, he’d offer a bath salt bath to calm your nerves and massage your tense body -you agreed and held his hand on his way to his room

Beel

-Like before he doesn’t care for Horror games but will still watch you play them or even movies -Though, he’s worried since you’ve been shaking -The game starts and he can fully understand why you’re scared -This game is hella bloody and gorey , he’s surprised your still awake, but it in a way made him hungry -He feeds you snacks like he did before but only really did it when you got scared -When he was Chris walker and when he called you little piggy , he wanted ham or pork chops -He covers your eyes at certain parts and takes the controller so that he can move your character away from that -The chases scene freaks you out and he just waist there until she dies or when the chases is over and then he’d nuzzle into you check -After that , He would sleep over in your  room , and wrap his arms around you “protecting “ you from nightmares

Belphie

-you were really lucky since he was fully awake and in a decent mood -He didn’t notice you were scared until he laid himself onto you -you doin ok..?” -”y-yeah...just excited “ -”bullshit.” -you looked in shock “w-why?” -”I know when you’re scared MC..”He snuggled up to you “I’ll still watch but stop playing if it’s too much ...” The game’s atmosphere was chilling but he wasn’t bothered until he saw gorey deaths -He was semi freaked out because some of the character died in the most horrible ways ,even your death scenes were brutal -When the chase scene started , he automatically pauses the game , snatch the controller , and plays , when it happens 3 times, he just plays the rest of the game -you felt bad that he played for you but he didn’t care, all he cared about was having you in his arms feeling ok -”if you think, You need my “forgiveness” then stay in my arms and we’ll sleep here toghter -you both snuggled in with each other and slept the night away

(Leave any suggestions game wise or for other scenrios ! )

[huskyrbtorchick]

The Brothers reacting to Outlast with an easily scared MC(Horror Game 2)

I PUT THIS ON THE WRONG BLOG- I’ll do it again tomorrow, i’m too tired TTWTT

(MY COMPUTER SHUT OF GOOGLE CHROME TWICE ERASING THIS TWICE QWQ) (This time I made it a Scared Easily MC 1. You can be scared for one game and not another game 2. unfazed MC would of been the same XD Also im adding react games depending on what genre , I’ll make them squeals like horror 1 and 2 or cutesy 3 and 4 )

Previous:  https://husky-obey-me.tumblr.com/post/618668040318484480/the-brothers-reacting-to-alien-isolation-with-an

Suggested by @izzieg3987 Warning: cursing

Lucifer

-When you once asked him to watch you play a horror game again  -he was about to denial until he noticed how she seems a little tense -after a minute , he sighed in defeat and agreed -This time when he sat down , you went onto his lap and huddle up against him  -This concerns him even more given how you were shaking a little before -The game soon starts and the aura the game gave off was the same as the last but was in a more normal-ish situation -once again you start shaking , he wonders if this game was worst then the last  -”So you’re scared of Insane humans but not blood thristy aliens?” he teased a little -”n-no! It’s just more realistic and a bit more graphic  -As the game continues, you were right, the game was more graphic then the other game and can see why you’d be scared  -During chase scenes, you’d freak out and at small moments , you’d hyperventilate and he’d force you to pause until you calm down -After you were finished with the game ,he makes a note to research any horror human world games might be too scary for MC

Mammon

- “NUH UH “No way! i ain’t watching another scary game!” -then he noticed how scared you looked in your face -”Mammon...P-please..?” -he clenched his heart. You looked so cute but he felt so bad  -”....UGGHHHHHHHHHHH fine.” -When you started , the back of his head was on your chest, he made sure to have you close, not for his sake but yours, since your HIS human -This game was scarier then the last. -He tried to keep his cool but the chase scenes showed his fears -”FUCKING RUN MR PIGGY IS HERE” -after it calmed down, he put his head on your cheek to soothe you and you would nuzzle in it -after you finished you both sighed in relief - “if you’re still feeling scared, THE Mammon will protect ya!” “you were screaming just as much as me~” “Sh-Shut it!” -he kisses your forehead “that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to protect ya..”

Levi

-He loves playing games with you so it’s no surprise he would say yes , though he was hesitant when you mentioned it was a horror game again -This time , he notices you being a little frightful when you insert the game  -He didn’t judge since he would be scared of horror games too but you weren’t scared last time...was this one worst? he thought -As soon as the game starts, he already has a chill down his spine -As much scarier as it was, he wasn’t as scared as he was before  -the only scenes that really scare him are the first chase scene and the “main “ villains  -When you heard “little piggy” you immediately freak out since the bad guy is there  -He tried to calm you down and tried to guide you “just go the other way, MC He won’t find you if you go there!” -you were still afraid  -with his gaming senses, he held your hands while you still had the controller and he moves the character away -He soon realizes he was technically holding your hands and is a red mess -He feels bad about how startled you were so you guys finish half way and head back to his room to watch anime and finish another time

Satan

-He only has interest in watching you play horror games, so you make sure to mention that first  -He cheerfully agrees but takes quick notice to how scared you were  -”are you ok, Kitten?” -”y-yes! I’m fine! Im just so e-excited!” -”Liar. he knows when you lie and he can definitely tell  -besides , he knows the difference between fear and excitement and it doesn’t wasn’t excitement -He let it slide until it started -He had his arms wrapped around you in case you were really scared  -Like before, he found the game interesting and fascinated by the story  -He wasn’t really scared at all , just disturbed by ..certain scenes *coughnakedbrothers*cough* -The chases scenes really scared you and he was shocked since you were complete fine with them in the last game -he’d tell you to pause when the chase was done so that he’s stroke your head to calm you  -After finishing, you were fearful and sleepy , so he picked you up and took you to his room , where you would rest on him with his jacket over you while he read his story 

Asmo

-”No! Im not watching another horror game! Not even if you sit on me” He crossed his arms in a huff “Please Asmo?,,I don’t wanna be a-alone...” -His eyes got wide when he saw you were scared -he was straight up confused but that meant that this one was scarier then the last -He hesitated but gave in “fiiiine, only for you sweetie “ -He has his arm over you for comfort and through out the game , he wasn’t scared -he was too busy being horny over the guys in the game  -”look at that muscular figure~” -you weren’t disturbed by the fact he found them attractive, you were disturbed because the guys were insane with the thirst for death and asmo was horny for them  -when chase scenes were on , He was complimenting on how Chris Walker is “meaty” -He calmed you when you were a scared mess  -After the game, he’d offer a bath salt bath to calm your nerves and massage your tense body  -you agreed and held his hand on his way to his room

Beel

-Like before he doesn’t care for Horror games but will still watch you play them or even movies -Though, he’s worried since you’ve been shaking  -The game starts and he can fully understand why you’re scared -This game is hella bloody and gorey , he’s surprised your still awake, but it in a way made him hungry -He feeds you snacks like he did before but only really did it when you got scared  -When he was Chris walker and when he called you little piggy , he wanted ham or pork chops  -He covers your eyes at certain parts and takes the controller so that he can move your character away from that -The chases scene freaks you out and he just waist there until she dies or when the chases is over and then he’d nuzzle into you check  -After that , He would sleep over in your  room , and wrap his arms around you “protecting “ you from nightmares

Belphie 

-you were really lucky since he was fully awake and in a decent mood  -He didn’t notice you were scared until he laid himself onto you -you doin ok..?” -”y-yeah...just excited “ -”bullshit.” -you looked in shock “w-why?” -”I know when you’re scared MC..”He snuggled up to you  “I’ll still watch but stop playing if it’s too much ...” The game’s atmosphere was chilling but he wasn’t bothered until he saw gorey deaths  -He was semi freaked out because some of the character died in the most horrible ways ,even your death scenes were brutal -When the chase scene started , he automatically pauses the game , snatch the controller , and plays , when it happens 3 times, he just plays the rest of the game  -you felt bad that he played for you but he didn’t care, all he cared about was having you in his arms feeling ok -”if you think, You need my “forgiveness” then stay in my arms and we’ll sleep here toghter  -you both snuggled in with each other and slept the night away 

(Leave any suggestions game wise or for other scenrios ! ) 

[ineffably-good]

Prompt: Unexpected

It is day 3 of GOC2020 themes! Happy Good omens Anniversary month!

Summary: Aziraphale is the worst gardener in the history of the world. Somehow, Crowley is surprised by this. 

_________________________

“We have to find a way to get ourselves into the Dowling household,” Aziraphale said. “There must be some way to be integral in their day to day life, so we can affect events. Bend his development to our purposes.”

Crowley thought for a minute. “Well, they’ll probably need childcare,” he said. “We could be governesses.”

“We can’t both be governesses,” Aziraphale reproved. “Perhaps I could be the governess and you could be the groundskeeper or something.”

Something about this struck Crowley as dangerous. It wasn’t that Aziraphale wasn’t good with children; it was rather that he was a bit too good. Having him present every night as the child was going to bed and waking up and comforting him when he fell and nursing him when he was sick was likely to be just a bit too – angelic. The goal wasn’t to influence him completely to one side or the other, after all, but just to push and pull him enough in each direction so that he ended up walking a middle path. Not hellish, not heavenly – just human.

“No,” Crowley said. “I should be the governess. Or a nanny, rather. Governesses come later, when they’re older, and we aren’t talking about that kind of timeframe. We’ll create a gardener position for you.”

“But – I’m a terrible gardener!” Aziraphale complained.

“That’s why it’s so perfect!” Crowley said. “It’s completely unexpected. Heaven and Hell will never figure out what we’re up to.”

Aziraphale stared at him for a moment, unconvinced, but then shrugged. “I … I suppose I could read a few books on horticulture,” he said uncertainly.

That was as good as assent, in Crowley’s book. He got to work on making their plans a reality.

 --

The books on horticulture did not help. Aziraphale, for all of the fact that he’d been created to serve in the garden of gardens, continued to be one of the worst plant stewards in the world. He couldn’t bring himself to make the difficult, almost ruthless decisions required to keep a garden flourishing – he couldn’t cull the weaker plants, pull out the prettiest of the weeds, or ruthlessly cut things back the way he needed to. He wouldn’t willingly use chemicals that were sorely needed because he didn’t want to injure the bugs and wildlife. Under his care, the Dowling’s gardens became an overgrown, chaotic mess.

Nanny Ashtoreth was sitting in the kitchen with her two year old charge one morning, trying to encourage him to put food into his mouth instead of in his hair, when Mrs. Dowling stopped at the French doors in the kitchen and looked out.

“Do the azaleas look a bit overgrown to you?” she asked Nanny Ashtoreth. “And are the perennial beds supposed to be so brown? Honestly, I know he’s a friend of yours but I’m not sure this new gardener is working out. Perhaps I should call Janine and see who she uses…”

Nanny Ashtoreth grabbed a banana that was rapidly being squeezed into mush away from Warlock and handed him a small piece of toast in exchange. Warlock retaliated by smearing the residual banana mush directly into his hair while nanny was distracted.

“Oh,” she said, “I believe he’s trying a series of new techniques from Japan. It’s the latest thing, you let things grow a bit beyond their usual shape and size before you prune them and the roots are much stronger for it. And the brown bits are just the daffodils forming good roots for next year. He’ll be tying the old leaves up into neat bundles soon so they’re less obvious.”

Mrs. Dowling made a noncommittal noise and continued to peer worriedly out the door, so Crowley had no choice but to use a small miracle to smoothe away her worries and make the yard look perfect to her. But he made a mental note to go see Aziraphale as soon as he could and put the fear of – well, in this case, the fear of God into him about the job he was doing with the plants. It wouldn’t do at all for Aziraphale to get himself let go.

 --

After morning enrichment time, during which Nanny ostensibly played Mozart for the toddler but really read him a long and fascinating story about demonic possession, Nanny Ashtoreth frog marched the two of them out to the garden and tracked down the gardener.

Crowley plunked Warlock down in the grass, where he began tasting a pile of rocks, one by one. This was an activity that Crowley approved of, so he made no move to stop him.

“Aziraphale,” he hissed. “You’re going to get yourself sacked.” He looked around and gestured wildly. “Just look at this place!”

Aziraphale glanced around him, confused. “It’s not so bad!” he protested. “All the plants are very happy and there’s just a plethora of new leaf growth in all of them, and there’s a lovely set of new caterpillars who have just arrived, and the rabbits are populating nicely –”

“Those caterpillars are going to eat the roses to the ground, Aziraphale. They’re noxious pests!”

The angel bristled. “They’re God’s creatures, as much as anything else, and they are worthy of our –”

“Oh for Satan’s sake,” Crowley hissed, snapping his fingers and sending all of the caterpillars three estates over. “Mrs. Dowling was thinking about replacing you this morning. I smoothed things over, but I can’t manage that forever if you utterly refuse to do your job.”

“Well perhaps we should switch, then,” Aziraphale said with a touch of bitchiness. “You know this isn’t my area. I can’t be mean to innocent plants.”

No, Crowley thought. He couldn’t. He’d known it coming in, if he was honest with himself. He’d just hoped that perhaps the angel could bring himself to be a bit of a bastard to plant life. For the sake of the future of humanity, as it were. But apparently the angel couldn’t bring himself to yell at an iris or threaten an invertebrate even if the fragile peace between Heaven and Hell lay in the balance.

It shouldn’t be unexpected, he thought, but yet it was. He’d thought the angel could have set aside his scruples for the larger picture. After all it wasn’t like he had to actually yell at the plants. He had access to miracles and could make the garden a showy success in whatever manner he liked. But then again, he thought, doing so on a daily basis and using his angelic powers to keep it that way might attract the wrong sort of attention, so perhaps the angel was being prudent in keeping Heaven’s attention away from his efforts here.

Crowley heaved a deep sigh. “All right,” he said. “You take Warlock down into the hedge maze for a while and I’ll see what I can do to shore things up here, okay? I’m going to need at least a couple of hours to get the perennial beds cleared up. And don’t go ruining all of my work afterwards by telling all the plants how wonderful they look. It will just go to their heads.”

Aziraphale beamed at him in delight. “Oh thank you,” he said. “I do so greatly appreciate it, my dear.”

He scooped up Warlock, removed a number of rocks from his mouth, and headed off deeper into the property with him.

Crowley had the sinking sensation that this had all been some elaborate ruse to get the demon to do all of Aziraphale’s work for him. This, he thought, would not be unexpected at all.

He shrugged. The number of prunes he’d fed Warlock at breakfast should quickly provide him with quite an effective method of revenge on the angel. He planned to make himself quite difficult to find when that nappy had to be changed.

The angel would never see that one coming.

[medea10]

Medea Plays Pokemon Sword: Part I

So the long-awaited Pokemon game has finally hit the shelves. And you know my dumbass had to get me a copy. Actually, this time I wound up getting the dual pack (since my mother thought it would be cool to give that to me for my birthday present). I know, weird to have a birthday present two months later, but here we are.

Now these games came with some massive baggage of controversy. With cutting at least 60% of the pokemon listing and complaints of Game Freak reusing designs from the Nintendo 3DS games. You know what, I’m sick of people complaining about shit before they even try the game. I know I’m going to enjoy this regardless of some obvious glitchy moments and lack of Dragonite, Ampharos, and Poliwraths.

With that said, shit post begin!

This guy.

I know he’s gotta be a shady-ass. I don’t care if he’s giving the “Welcome to the world of Pokemon” speech like all the professors in the past, I do not trust this guy right here. Prove me wrong, I’ll wait.

Before I forget, feel free to add me as a Switch buddy if you want.

SW-8454-1538-4501

Okay, they managed to get one thing right about my mother.

But Game Freak totally missed the opportunity to have Stand By Me showing like in every other Pokemon game in the past. It’s the little details, yo.

Okay, my mother has a Munchlax. Also, somewhat accurate.

Okay, they kept a random guy marveling at science. Some things will never change, but technology will always change.

Time to go meet my rival, Hop.

Dude, your brother is like 6′ 7″. How the holy hell is he gonna fit in one of those dinky-ass cupboards?

Champion Leon has got quite the collection of hats. As long as none of them say MAGA, I’m quite okay with this. Speaking of Leon, let’s meet him...

This fool trying to act like he’s the best thing since Freddie Mercury.

Hey dummy, you’re signing the number 3 right there. That means you’re only the third best. Possibly after Dianthe and Cynthia.

This guy is just totally full of himself compared to some of the other champions of the past. While he’s not on Mr. Satan levels of hammy, he still can get a little showboaty in front of the peanut gallery.

Time to pick my first pokemon and...yeah, you know what I picked from the first picture.

I picked Scorbunny. His name is Sonic. Because what is creativity?

In a very similar scenario from the Diamond and Pearl games, you and your rival do run into a rare beast.

Don’t worry, all of your attacks are worthless in the eyes of legendary doggo here and he leaves you in the fog.

After all that mess and a rival battle, time to meet the professors/researchers of this...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

CUTIE BREADLOAF! OOH I WANT ONE SO BAD!

Sonia has this cute little thunder-butt! Granddaughter to Professor Magnolia and...

Oh-ho-ho. I wonder if these two could be something more. In fact...

I’m seriously teetering on supporting Leon x Sonia.

So then, this happened.

Alright lady, in 10 months, I expect to run into a legendary pokemon. I’ll take Mew, Arceus, or Diancie.

In the meantime, let’s get to catching pokemon.

GETTO DAZE! Everybody, meet my...

Winston Corgles Ein Handbanana the Breadloaf

(Winston for short)

He hangs with Piki

He plays with toys

Aw, mommy’s little breadloaf likes to hop around in the rain.

Behold my Winston. I will spam the fuck out of this cute doggo until I start catching Clefairys.

But seriously, I have been catching a lot of pokemon. And that wild area has been fun with camping, dynamaxing, and catching lots of different pokemon in different areas. It’s just that I had to do a lot of running away.

Sometimes it’s just annoying little nuisances like Electrike that follow me around. But then there are those pokemon that are insanely stronger than you and you have no business catching them right now.

LIKE THIS FUCKING BEAST!

Oh hell no! Get the fuck out of there!

Still better off than this poor git.

Pokemon Sword & Shield: Rated E for EVERYONE

Okay, what else? Oh yeah, gym “challenges”. Whatever, we’re doing gyms again and I’m down with that.

Before you can even challenge the gyms, you have to get an endorsement from Leon (or in some jerk’s case, Chairman Rose). Now as for the...

JESUS H. FUCK! WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?!

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS GAME FREAK?!

No, I’m not digging Pokeball Man. He’s got a face only a flamethrower can love.

Let’s move away from that trainwreck to the gym leaders. Only 7 of them are shown because one of them is a *spoiler* and I’ll probably talk about Alister and Big Tits Sally Melony when I start playing Pokemon Shield.

Hmm...I’ve got two stupid things to say here.

For some reason, I hear George Takei’s voice whenever this guy is on the screen.

*spit-take*

Is this chick one of the Triplets of Belleville?

Legitimately asking here.

Well, it’s about that time for me to run into some trouble.

With the Yelling Hooligans.

And this snot rag!

You know what, he’s got that uppity arrogance of Drew’s. But instead of him being awesome like Drew, he’s just a Psychic User knock-off with the personality of Trip.

In short, Medea no likey Bede.

Boy, you’ve got the face only a clenched fist could love.

Ugh...let’s get away from this fuck face and catch more pokem...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

MA! MA, THERE’S A WEIRD, FUCKING STRAY CAT IN MY VIDEO GAME!

BLINK MOTHERFUCKER!

It’s like if Meowth fucked the cat-bus from Totoro and got shit out through Captain Caveman’s anus!

Let me get to my gym battle before I have a heart attack from creepy-ass things.

Go away Ball Man. I know you give me balls, but your ball face scares me.

First gym challenge...

Chase 20 Wooloos through an obstacle course.

Oh good, I think all of us were thinking there was no way Game Freak would give us a task that’s as daunting as finding Farfetch’d in G/S and Furfrou in X/Y. But they said, hold my sake and chase twenty wooly bastards.

Needless to say, I took out Milo, no sweat.

Good time to stop for this shit-post.

To be continued.

[dapper-wings]

SPN 15x14 “Last Holiday”

I’m back folks! Here’s my thoughts and feelings about Supernatural’s latest ep, and also the kickstarter episode for the rest of season 15, also known as season 15 and a half :) I’m so not ready to say goodbye to this show, but I’m so glad it’s back on air. 

As always, spoilers for supernatural season 15 below the line so don’t click it if you don’t want them. If you do, then let’s go! :D 

We are  BACK!! I’m so not ready for this show to be ending but I’m SO GLAD IT’S BACKKKKK

They dumb but we love them our idiots cannot fix a pipe

DEAN HAS SCOOBY DOO UNDERWEAR

“I’m a wood nymph” “Well shouldn’t you be in the wood?”

“Afraid to tell you, but it’s 2020” such a MOOD

is it just me or does the acting feel different in this one

OK WHAT the bunker is just superpowered by a grandma wood nymph??

…you know what that’s not even remotely the weirdest thing to happen on this show

MONSTER RADAR

“I mean we do have the son of satan sitting down the hall.” god I love this show

OMG Dean is so happy to see the Christmas decorations!! I love to see it!

it’s so weird to see them celebrating last year’s Christmas at this year’s Halloween

not gonna lie I am totally lost on what happened in the first half of this show imma just roll with it XD

also jack looks so much like Misha I can’t even. How long has he been on the show now?? 3, 4 seasons?

“HE’S A MILLENIAL”

ah sam flinching at like every sudden movement hurts my soul my poor baby

MJILNOR AND SAM YASSSS

SAM’S BIRTHDAY HIM BEING FORCED TO CELEBRATE IT I LOVE IT

DEAN IS SO HAPPY

THAT MONTAGE WAS AMAZING

Jack got to say son of a bitch! That’s it, he’s officially family now

aw crap Mrs. butters no! although I gotta say I was suspicious of the boys not researching her at all. plus that file was literally right in the open drawer system don’t tell me sam didn’t search and find that at some point

SAM AND EILEEEN HELL YEAH

MRS BUTTERS NO

ah that makes sense bout the video knew something was fishy

totally called the smoothies

HOW DARE YOU CALL MY BOY JACK A MONSTER LIKE SURE YEAH TECHNICALLY BUT HES GOT A HEART OF GOLD OK

HOW DARE YOU NAME DROP EILEEN BUT DON’T GIVE ME A SCENE WITH HER AUGH

Oh no the good news and bad news

also where the heck is Misha???????

LANGUAGE MY ASS

NOT AGAIN SAMMY FOR CHUCKS SAKE WHY THIS SHOW GOTTA TORTURE MY BOY

DEAN USING JACK AS A BATTERING RAM

“HE CAN SAVE THE WORLD” SJDKFJSDLFJKDS

they don’t know what the telescope does either lol

Dean made a cake for Jack!

OK BUT WHAT DID JACK WISH FOR?!??!

ahhhh okay that was a good intro back into the show. sad about misha not being there and UGH for Sam getting brutally tortured but otherwise I’m here for it

Bring on the rest of season 15 and a half!