#metias deer

[incorrectval]

Vik: there should be another word for water.

Eikko: no bones ice.

Cain: ocean sauce.

Metias: earth juice.

Vik:

Vik: what the fuck?

[witchesroad]

Somewhere in D13

Kora: [sleepover voice] are u awake

Eikko: [sleepover reply voice] yeah

Azure: [regrettable sleepover invitee voice] YOU GUYS SHHH

Metias: [confused sleepover reply voice] what is the meaning of life

Vik: [annoyed sleepover voice] dude shut up

Kaiden: [sleepover host voice] you guys be quiet my mom’s gonna hear us

Cain: [unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs?

[incorrectkaye]

vik: i’m not a mother, and i will never have children again.

metias, walking by: what’s up, mom?

vik: oh, hey.

eikko: hey mom, is it okay if me and a few friends head out to the woods?

vik: yeah, just be back by ten.

vik:

vik: okay, listen.

[incorrectkat]

metias: am i right, ziggy?

ziggy: almost certainly not, but to be fair i wasn’t listening.

[incorrectcasper-blog]

The Rebels As Creed Quotes

Kora: just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave.

Cassian: if i can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about?

Vik: cool beans, man. i live by the quarry. we should hang out and throw things down there.

Metias: not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.

Eikko: i’ve been involved in a number of cults. both as a leader and a follower.

Ronnie: you should see how many supplies i’ve taken from this place. honestly, i love stealing.

Amira: the taliban is the worst... great heroin though.

Tempest: what’s a text?

Kaiden: au natural, baby. that’s how i like em. swing low, sweet chariots.

Cain: the only difference between me and a homeless man is this job.

Azure: i made love to many, many women, often in the outdoors in the mud and rain. it’s possible a man may have slipped in there. there’s no way of knowing.

[matsucockwa]

metias: are you the big spoon or the little spoon

vik: i’m a knife

dmitri: she’s a little spoon

[incorrecttatum]

isla: you don’t think i’ll be alone at 50, do you?

metias: aw, come on. you won’t make it to 50!

[incorrectval]

The Rebels as quotes from The Office

Vik: who let this lemon head into the room? *looking at the capitol* you are a waste of life and should give up.

Kora: i have flaws. what are they? well i sing in the shower, sometimes i spend too much time volunteering. occasionally i kill an arena full of kids. sue me.

Kaiden: i tried to talk to cain and be his friend, but that’s like trying to be friends with an evil snail.

Azure: i want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Ronnie: i am beyoncé, always.

Eikko: this day is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Cassian: i knew exactly what to do, but in a much more real sense, i had no idea what to do.

Terra: identity theft is not a joke! millions of families suffer every year!

Cain: azure, you ignorant slut!

Amira: i’m running away from my responsibilities and it feels so good.

Tempest: it takes an advanced sense of humour. i don’t expect everybody to understand.

Roman: i’m not superstitious, i’m just stitious.

Metias: sometimes i’ll start a sentence and i don’t even know where it’s going. i just hope i find it along the way.

Ziggy: *takes some asprin* I don’t have a headache, i’m just preparing.

Xander: when someone smiles at me, all i see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.

[witchesroad]

Meanwhile in D13

Azure: guys, terra kissed me!!

Eikko: *gasps* no!

Kaiden: *squeals* oh my god, oh my god!

Azure: it’s unbelievable.

Cass: oh my god. oh my god

Cain: okay, we wanna hear everything. metias, get the wine and unplug the phone. azure, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Azure: oh it ended verrry well.

Metias: *rushing over with the wine glasses* don’t start without me!!

Eikko: okay, lets hear about the kiss. was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a ‘i gotta have you now’ kinda thing?

Azure: well at first it was really intense, y’know, and then... oh god, we sorta just sunk into it

Cass & Cain: *squealing together* aww!!!

(cut to terra, vik and kora casually eating pizza around the table)

Terra: and uh, then i kissed him

Vik: tongue?

Terra: yeah

Kora: dope

[incorrectkaye]

metias: what are some good responses to getting stabbed?

eikko: rude.

cassian: fair.

azure: not again.

vik: are you going to want this back or can i keep the knife?

[incorrectharls]

metias: has anyone seen my wife?

??: what does she look like?

metias, holding back tears: the most beautiful warrior i’ve ever seen

[onetruemetia-blog]

tag dump.

[incorrectcasper-blog]

The Rebels As Louis CK Quotes

Metias: here’s how my brain works: it’s stupidity, followed by self-loathing, and then further analysis.

Eikko: but maybe... if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to die.

Kora: i get really upset when people say nice things to me.

Cassian: look, i ate too much and masturbated too recently.

Kaiden: why the fuck would anything nice EVER happen? are you stupid?

Cain: i’m a white man. you can’t even hurt my feelings.

Azure: i do wanna fuck you but you won’t fuck me so fuck you anyway.

Amira: fuck her, seriously. i hope she’s dead. i hope she died today weirdly and horribly.

Ronnie: when people are boring i want to kill them.

Vik: getting up is a whole thing. first i have to decide, do i really wanna be alive anymore?

Tempest: when women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Ziggy: i have a lot of beliefs and i live by none of them.

[matsucockwa]

helena: metias said a bad word today

dmitri: where the fuck did he learn that?

[incorrectkat]

ziggy: screw you, metias.

metias: hey! hostile work environment.

[incorrectval]

Vik: imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughput your lifetime.

Cassian: it would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.

Kora: my childhood innocence! thank you for finding this.

Metias: my will to live! i haven’t seen this in 18 years.

Cain: i knew i lost that potential somewhere!

Azure: mental stability, my old friend!

Kaiden: man, it’s been a while since i last saw my morals...

Tempest: oh how good it is to see my self esteem come back to me!

Amira: oh i thought i could find a hand somewhere!

Eikko: my long lost happiness! long time no see!

Ziggy: do you think i’ll find my heart and soul in there?

Terra: motivation, we meet again.

Ronnie: i really never thought i’d see my dignity again!

Vik:

Vik, choking back tears: please lighten up.