#kaiden cage

[bicuspider]

Enter lyrics to Insanely Illegal Cage Fight by Dal Av and Jackson Rose

My dumpster boy Kaiden

[incorrectval]

Kaiden: okay let’s be real, are any of us straight? at least one of us?

Azure: *slowly puts his hand up*

Cassian: *slowly lowers azure’s hand*

[incorrectcasper-blog]

The Rebels As Creed Quotes

Kora: just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave.

Cassian: if i can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about?

Vik: cool beans, man. i live by the quarry. we should hang out and throw things down there.

Metias: not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.

Eikko: i’ve been involved in a number of cults. both as a leader and a follower.

Ronnie: you should see how many supplies i’ve taken from this place. honestly, i love stealing.

Amira: the taliban is the worst... great heroin though.

Tempest: what’s a text?

Kaiden: au natural, baby. that’s how i like em. swing low, sweet chariots.

Cain: the only difference between me and a homeless man is this job.

Azure: i made love to many, many women, often in the outdoors in the mud and rain. it’s possible a man may have slipped in there. there’s no way of knowing.

[artisticdagger]

his full ref will be on his page but enjoy this

[deathbeckons]

Kaiden Foster; Sunday of Lechery Event.

[ratcoochie]

i went to my local pet store today where all of their kittens are rescues and they had 2 that were a mix between a normal black cat and a siamese and they had such big ears and were so fucking cute im in love  

[abeautifulblog]

another fic I’m not writing, Mass-Effect style

It’s never going to happen, because the fandom is dead and also there's no real audience for “Jack-POV fic in which she and a gay male Shepard are wary allies and sometimes fuck,” but it compels me.

Because Jack arrives on the Normandy expecting it to be just another ship full of space-nazi loyalists—disappointed, perhaps, to find the famous Commander Shepard in their ranks, but, well, this is why you don't canonize your saints before they're dead. But it becomes clear immediately that despite Shepard being nominally the captain, he's only here because they've got a gun to his head (and Joker's, and Kaiden's, and Garrus's, and--), and he is seething out of his skin with fury at his enforced helplessness.

Jack stays relatively aloof at first, just keeping a sharp eye on the political currents aboard the Normandy. Shepard doesn't try to make friends with her (because I played a standoffish, utilitarian Shepard, and he's not interested in being friends with anyone here), but he's courteous, keeps his word about getting her the records she asked for, and never hesitates to take her side when she clashes with Miranda. (Though that may have less to do with Jack, and more that he hates the everloving FUCK out of Miranda.)

And then shit goes down on Horizon, and Jack's on the squad when Shepard gets reunited with Kaiden and then subsequently dumped for working with the space nazis, his protestations that he's not doing it willingly falling on deaf ears. (To which Jack is privately like, “Haaah, serves you right” and also props to this Kaiden guy for refusing to date a space nazi. It speaks well of his character.)

After they get back to the ship, Shepard shuts himself up in his quarters for a day, and when he reemerges, it's with a dramatic change in attitude. To all appearances, the fight with Kaiden made him give up on the fantasy of being able to go back to his old life after this, and he's finally willing to try to make the best of it here, instead of antagonizing Miranda and TIM at every turn.

And Jack takes one look at him and goes, That's just a man who's changed tack.

That throwing himself repeatedly against the bars of his cage wasn't getting him anywhere, and so now he's looking for other tools. He's started fraternizing with the crew, and turning up the charisma in a deliberate effort to complicate their loyalties. (Poor starry-eyed Jacob—heterosexual or not, he never stood a chance when his idol turned the full brunt of that laser-focused intensity on him.)

When Shepard inevitably gets round to trying to make nice with Jack, she's like, I can see right-fuckin'-through you, bro, and Shepard's like, Thank fuck someone does, cheers.

Which is the start of a weird-and-wary sort-of friendship in which they wind up spending a lot of time together on account of having similar temperaments—neither of them being warm and fuzzy people—and while they don't exactly trust each other, they are in absolute solidarity about being the two people here who loathe the space nazis the hardest.

They also get each other, on a level that no one else aboard does. Shepard's friends always expect him to be his better self, but both he and Jack are keenly aware that they might not have that luxury in the fight to come. Breaking free from Cerberus is likely to result in collateral damage, and it's a comfort to both of them to know that they have someone equally ruthless at their back, who shares their goals and isn't going to balk at doing what needs to be done. They don’t have to pretend anything around each other.

And sometimes they fuck, though it's more about curiosity/the challenge/weird power-plays than about libido or even friendship.

Eventually they'd become real friends who actually trust and care about each other, but Jack and a low-empathy Shepard as tense allies is a dynamic I find very interesting to think about.

[btsqualityy]

Ava and Kade sneaking off at HYBE black tie event and getting caught by one of the other OT8 and Kade being unfazed and continuing to do his thing. This plays into Ava’s semi-public kink 🥵

Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex

"Kade, fuck," Ava moaned, gripping onto his shoulders and wrapping her legs around his tighter as he held her up against the wall, plunging his cock into her.

"God, did you have to wear the biggest fucking dress you could find?" Kaiden groaned as he pushed the hem of her dress up again, pressing his body closer to hers in an effort to keep it out of the way.

"I'm one of the biggest idols in HYBE, I have to look the part," she sighed.

"You knew that you would want me to fuck you here though," he pointed out.

"Maybe I wanted to make it harder for you, so sue me," she shrugged with a smirk and Kaiden just rolled his eyes. He then planted his hands on the wall behind her, caging her in as he began to thrust into her harder.

"Maybe I'll make it harder for you and not let you come," he threatened her, making her eyes widen as she rapidly shook her head. "Oh no?"

"Please don't," she whimpered, gasping when the head of his cock touched her g-spot.

"Then don't be bratty," he said and she nodded, her head falling back against the wall as he continued to fuck her. As they continued, the door to the studio opened and Lennox stepped inside, his eyes widening when he saw the two of them going at it.

When Ava opened her eyes, she made direct eye contact with Lennox over Kaiden's shoulder and gasped. The smirk on Lennox's face both unnerved her and turnt her on, her orgasm hurtling towards her.

"Len's watching us," Ava whispered hurriedly into Kaiden's ear but to her surprise, Kaiden didn't stop fucking her.

"I don't care," he groaned. "You like that shit right? I felt you clench around me."

"I'm gonna come," she both confirmed and announced, her head falling back as she creamed Kaiden's cock. He continued to fuck her through it and once it passed, she opened her eyes again to see that Lennox was gone now.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself.

[theangrycomet-art]

Kaiden needs facts and knows just who to go to.

Showing Greg and Zelda in color for the first time! 

“I can’t believe he made it all the way to the Bodega.” Eyeing the cheerfully squeaking gerbil, Zelda glanced back up at Kaiden as she scooped up the cage. “Where the heck did you find him?”

“In the freezers eating his weight in icecream- where else?” Kaiden smirked as he leaned against her stripped shelves, tilting his head in amusement. “Though technically speaking it was Penny and Jenny who found him- I just caught the three trying to sneak off into the back room.”

“Ah- I see.”

“Soooo...” Greg leaned forward to the current gerbil. “How exactly are we going to fix this before your very-touchy-about-using-his-children-as-test-subjects-for-scientific-experiments Uncle Johnny finds out?”

“Eh, I just need Computress to dig up the plans for my dad’s old species modifying remote, 3d print the pieces, and we’re set.” Shrugging without a drop of concern, she played with Nate. 

“Actually, I could use your guys help for something- if you’ve got some time.” The ceiling was apparently quite interesting right now- Kaiden couldn’t stop looking at it.

Exchanging a glance, they stared at him as smirks stretch across their lips.

Zelda cast a sly glance at Kaiden. 

“You know, I’d love to help you Kaiden but heping you get together with my Rival?” Tutting, her smirk widened at his discomfort. “Not the best idea.”

“Uhhh, no, I wasn’t going to ask about that.” He crossed his arms awkwardly. 

“Ah, so you want to start another prank war.” Pointing, Greg smirked as Kaiden continued to count the dots of the ceiling.

“No, actually I was hoping you two could get me some info.” Finally meeting their eyes, he continued.

“What do you two know about Laserblast and Professor Venomous?”

[what-a-con]

a few things for fun.

So I wanted to write and thought “might as well make it relevant in my life right now” and anyway, I made a few quick drabbles about my Shepard, Lee Shepard. Mostly rewriting some scenes to be more in character for Lee. They are not all that good and none are beta’d but I figured someone else might enjoy them. There are only four but at least they are short.

UNC:Dead Scientists

“Don’t tell me who I am! You got away with a few scratches and a scary reputation! The rest of the unit died and I was tortured for years. You can’t judge me. You don’t have the right!”

Garrus was many things and observant was one of them. He saw how Shepard’s fist clenched in anger at the accusations. Everyone on the Normandy had heard of the “miraculous” survival of the Commander on Akuze. Once, Garrus even overheard Williams ask him how he handled it and he quickly changed the subject. 

“I am very well aware of what happened to the squad, Toombs, but if you kill him right here, then Akuze will just be another accident.” Shepard said in a voice that Garrus had never heard before. Correction. He did hear it once when they were discussing what to do about Saren. It was not angry but not calm either. It seemed plotting but also numb. Either way, it stopped the corpal before he pulled the trigger.

Shepard continues. “You pull that trigger and Akuze becomes just another terrible random thresher maw accident. Do they really deserve that? Ryans, Shapiro, Hazkai. Do they deserve being pushed away as another accident? Is that justice, Toombs?” Toombs is silent. The only sound was the whimpering of the scientists. Then Toombs put his gun down. “No. No they don’t. They don’t deserve that.”

“That’s what I like to hear, corporal. Let me give you a hand,” Shepard says as he takes the gun from the corporel. Garrus is a bit surprised that it worked. “We’ll go back to the Normandy and get you home, Toombs. And we will get him to the Alliance officials.”

“Commander, I-” is all the scientists gets out before Shepard punches him hard, putting him down. Garrus gives Shepard a look as the Specter simply shrugs and says “I didn’t shoot him.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t,” Garrus admits.

“I meant what I said.” That is all Shepard says as they all make it back to the NOrmandy, with Wrex carrying the unconscious scientist. They do not speak of this incident again.

Later, two weeks after the galaxy was saved and Garrus began his Specter training, he got an extranet story about a Cerberus scientist testifying to the Alliance but getting immunity in exchange for his info. Not one second later, the story updated that the scientists had been killed as he left the courthouse. The picture they showed was of the dead man with a shot right in the right pterion. A perfect kill shot.

Garrus couldn’t help but compliment the placement. Shepard always did favor the right side. 

Downtime on the Normandy

On a rare moment looking up from his station, Kaiden looks up to see Dr Chakwas, Miss T’soni and Officer Nash from Engineering walk by carrying, of all things, yoga mats. And they all seemed to be heading to the Commander’s office.

Kaiden stood there for a few moments before curiosity got the best of him and he followed them to the office.

Inside seemed to be an impromptu yoga class. A few other crewmen were already there, including, to his surprise, Ashley. 

“Chief Williams?” Kaiden says in surprise. Ashley tenses up a bit before facing Kaiden. She was not expecting him to show up while she was in her work out clothes.

Dr Chakwas is glad to see one of her favorite patience. “Alenko, it is good to see you. Will you be joining us today?”

“What is this?”

“What does it look like?” Ashley says sharply, still embarrassed. She adds “Sir” as an afterthought.

Dr Chakwas finds it amusing but continues “Yoga is a great exercise not only to increase flexibility and improve cardiovascular health, but it is a good way of relieving anxiety and improving respiration. You might want to give it a try.”

“Um, I think I’m good. Does the Commander know you are using his office?” Kaiden asks, a bit amused.

“Actually, he-” Ashley begins before the office door opens and in steps the Commander. He is also carrying a mat and, much to Kaiden’s surprise, is wearing what is for sure a work out outfit.

“Alenko, good to see you. Are you here to join us?” the Commander asks.

Shorts. Very short shorts. T-shirt. Very tight t-shirt.

“Alenko?”

“Sir! I mean, no thank you, sir. I-I have a few items I need to finish. Thank you, though.” Kaiden quickly leaves before he says something embarrassing and unprofessional. As he leaves, he observes. He is very good at observing. And what he observes is almost everyone in the office (except perhaps the good doctor herself) staring at the Commander with an appreciative expression. Now he feels even more embarrassed. Maybe some work will help him calm down.

I Remember Me 

“Liara, Tali. You two mind waiting here?” Lee asks as casually as he can to his two heavily armed friends. Tali looks skeptical but says “If that is what you wish, commander.” Liara hesitates but nods. ‘“Ok. If you wish,” she says, a little worried. Shepard smiles in such a casual way she can almost ignore how sad his eyes are. “Don’t worry. She is only a danger to herself right now.”

Shepard hands the two his weapons and walks toward the girl. Liara and Tali both hold their breath as they watch the scene unfold from the side.

The girl points the gun in her hand at the Commander. “S--Stop! What do you--What are you?”

Shepard puts his hands in the air. “My name is Shepard. What do I call you?”

“Animals don’t get names,” the girl answers as best she can. “The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it.”

Shepard's hands seem to twitch. “Think back to the before. You must have had a name your parents called you.”

“T-Talitha. They called her Talitha. She does not remember the rest.”

“Talitha. Ok, Talitha. Let’s start simply. How did you get her, Talitha?” He speaks to her in an even tone. Not as though he is talking to an frightened child but as if he was talking to an old friend. Which, if the file Liara read on him is correct, he might just well be. 

“She can’t escape. They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far, they take your brains away. Animals like her come. Come with guns. Make the masters explode. She tries to fix the masters, so they won't be mad. But they don’t move. The other animals take her.”

“And now you are here. What was the before, Talitha. Think back to the before.”

Talitha lowers her gun. She seems to be somewhere else for a moment. “Fires. Smell of smoke and  burning meat. Animals screaming as the master's cage them. As they put the metal on their backs. Put the wires in their brains. She pretends to be dead. If she is dead, she cannot work. But they know. She hope’s they’ll leave. But they put her in the pin.

“Clever girl. Pretending to be dead like that. I am so sorry it did not work. But that was the right thing to do.”

“S-she doesn’t want to be there anymore. In the pin. In the cage.”

Shepard takes a cautious step forward.

Talitha raises her gun again. “No! She’s no good! Don’t want to be handled again!”

Shepard stops in his tracks. Liara finds herself not breathing as he does.

Talitha hits her head in frustration. “No! She doesn’t want to see the other animals! They’re not real. They can’t be real. They can’t see her. If the animals can see her, then this is real. But it can’t be. The wires. The chains. The hitting. This doesn’t happen to her. It’s another girl. A dirty girl. A stupid girl! She deserves it!”

“I only see you, Talitha. That girl is you and she is not stupid or dirty or bad.

Talitha once again puts her gun down. “It--it happens to her. Doesn’t it? They see her, so it’s real. She doesn't want it to be real.”

“I’m so sorry, Talitha.  I know you don’t want it to be real, but it was. You will not be able to deal with this unless you look at it.” He moves a little closer.

“Sh-she doesn’t want to see that! Don’t make her look. Don’t look. Stupid, stupid! Stop! Don’t touch her!”

Shepard stops as soon as she says to. “Talitha, do you remember anyone else on Mindior? You parents? Your friends?”

Talitha once again hits her head. “When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn’t think anymore. Sh-she seems them. She sees them all.”

“You had an older brother, right? Gregario?”

Talitha stops and looks at Shepard, eyes widened. “Y-yes. He yells. Run. Hide. He-he’s melting. How? How?” “I was there, Talitha. On Mindior. My mother was the teacher at the school you most likely went to.”

Talitha raises her gun at Shepard, point blank in his face. Tali moves to go forward but Liara stops her. “What are you-” 

“We have to trust him,” is all Liara says as she squeezes Tali’s arm, scared as well. Tali stops when she sees how scared Liara is as well.

“Liar!” Talitha screams “You get hit for lying. Get the buzz or the burning. Can’t have been there! Why are you alive? Why aren’t you like them? Why aren’t you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry.”

Shepard takes a moment and says nothing. Then he answers. “There was a time when I was broken, Talitha. When I asked the same questions you did. For the longest time, I was only rage and fear and paranoia. I was so angry at everyone. But mostly, I was angry at myself for living. Someone saw what was happening and reached out to me. They reminded me that I was alive and here. And I promised to stay that way, if only because I had to be. Because if I don’t stay alive, then someone else will break like I did. Talitha, you are here. You are alive. Let me help you. Let me reach out to you.”  Shepard slowly reaches out his open hand towards Talitha.

Talitha pauses and lowers the gun again. “You don’t dig. You don’t carry. You stand up. She wishes she could stand up.”

“Only because someone offered me a hand up. Being broken means you can be fixed, Talitha. I’m going to reach for something, ok?” he asks Talitha nods. Shepard reaches into his storage on his belt and pulls out the sedative. “This will make you sleep and when you do, you will be taken to a place where others can help you. Will you take it?”

Talitha looks at the sedative. She then drops her gun and takes it with no hesitation. “Will she--will I dream?” she asks as the sedative quickly acts.

“No dreams, Talitha. None whatsoever. And when you wake up, you’ll get to start learning how to stand again.”

Talitha smiles sweetly as she passes out. Shepard catches her before she hits the ground.

Liara finds her breath coming back to her. “Keelah,” is all Tali says and Liara can’t help but agree with her. She knew the commander as a leader. As a warrior. As someone who can hack a terminal after convincing the guards to look away. But this was a side she had yet seen. And it took her breath away.

After the grounding of the Normandy

The sound of the slamming of the locker jarred Kaiden a bit. This whole situation has been jarring. From the Council's refusal to help to Udine grounding the Normandy. It was actually the first time he had ever seen the Commander---ever seen Shepard lose his cool in public. 

“You son of a bitch!” Shepard yells in mighty anger. “You double crossed me!” Udine looks unimpressed. “I think you should return to your ship, Commander.” Shepard clutches his fists and nearly steps towards Udine but Admiral Anderson takes a step between them. This stops Shepard in his tracks. “If you think you can fucking get away with this, Ambassador, you’ve got another thing coming.” is all the commander says as he turns to leave, Kaiden on his heels as he does.

Kaiden finds Shepard in front of the supply lockers, back to the now all closed lockers. The Commander’s face is burning with anger. Kaiden hesitates for a moment but decides to approach him. After all, they have been growing friendly during this mission. The Commander was always asking his opinion about things and was always willing to listen. Kaiden had seen how hard he worked, how much he fought for this mission. How hard the calls he had to make where. He had every right to be angry.

“Commander?” Kaiden finally asked. “What is it, Alenko?” Shepard said snappily before quickly saying “Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t take this out on you.” “I can understand being frustrated.”

Shepard gives a humorless laugh. “Frustrated is the smallest word for it.” Shepard sighs. “...everyone has worked so hard. Sacrificed so much. Being stuck here...it feels like it was for nothing….it can’t be for nothing. Saren can’t win. It can’t be over.”

Kaiden finds himself against the lockers as well, listening to someone who is normally so reserved in his feelings open up to him. He couldn’t help it. He saw how hard Shepard had worked.

“Sir, everyone knows this is not your fault. You have done everything you could.’’ A silence beats on for a moment. “On Feros, I saw you do whatever you could to help the colonists there. We had a mission we had to complete but you took the time to help them. And when it came time to get to the Thoryn, you did whatever you could to keep its victims alive. Everywhere our mission took us you did what you could to help those around you. Even when it was hard and any other commander would have lost patience. We-I know how hard you have worked. No one else could have done as much as you have. And I know it’s not over until you say it is.”

The look Shepard gives him is enough that Kaiden suddenly feels very embarrassed. Maybe he was out of line. But then the smallest of smiles appeared on the commanders face and it was all worth it.

“Alenko, I-” a buzz came from the comm. “Commander, you have a message from Admiral Anderson,” Joker announces over the comms. “What is it, Joker?” asks Shepard, back in professional mode. “He says to meet him at the nightclub Flux.” “Alright. Thank you, Joker.” 

Shepard opens the locker behind him and slips his pistol on. “Would you like some back up, Commander?” Kaiden asks, standing at the ready. “No need. Wrex and Tali went ashore earlier. I’ll meet them at the elevator.”

As Shepard turns to leave, he stops. “Thank you, Kaiden. I mean it.”

“Anytime, Commander.”

“...you know, you can call me by my name if you want to. You won't get in trouble,” Shepard says with a hint of a playful tone.

“If you say so, Com-Shepard” Kaiden corrects himself, which earns him another hint of a smile. As the commander heads to the airlock, Kaiden wonders if the feeling in his chest that appeared when Shepard said his name will let up.

[incorrectval]

Kaiden: so what is it like dating cassian?

Cain: he once asked me for a glass of water when i was mad at him so i got him ice and told him to wait.

Kaiden: and?

Cain: he sat there and waited.

[incorrectcasper-blog]

The Rebels As Louis CK Quotes

Metias: here’s how my brain works: it’s stupidity, followed by self-loathing, and then further analysis.

Eikko: but maybe... if touching a nut kills you, you’re supposed to die.

Kora: i get really upset when people say nice things to me.

Cassian: look, i ate too much and masturbated too recently.

Kaiden: why the fuck would anything nice EVER happen? are you stupid?

Cain: i’m a white man. you can’t even hurt my feelings.

Azure: i do wanna fuck you but you won’t fuck me so fuck you anyway.

Amira: fuck her, seriously. i hope she’s dead. i hope she died today weirdly and horribly.

Ronnie: when people are boring i want to kill them.

Vik: getting up is a whole thing. first i have to decide, do i really wanna be alive anymore?

Tempest: when women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Ziggy: i have a lot of beliefs and i live by none of them.

[artisticdagger]

dellenat0r said: Kaiden in A2 Gabe in H2 ;3c

These are both #Looks

[incorrectlk]

lexus: hi pretty kaiden. oh, you're so pretty. but not just your face, your brain. it's like your beautiful brain exploded all over your face.

kaiden: are you drunk?

[deathbeckons]

he had already pulled off half of the gear once he realised it was raven who had bought that for him, not naj. sure, naj had stood there an ensured that he put it on but he didn’t pick it, which meant he was taking it off unless the demon made him put it back on. the muzzle, collar and plug were discarded in the cage, hoping they would be forgotten about. kaiden was so angry, and humiliated by the photos raven had taken and sent, and everything was going even more to shit by the minute. the cage was taking the most of his anger right now, but as soon as he heard her behind him, it zeroed in on her. “do you know what you’ve done? he’s never taking me back, and he’s gonna give me to any fucking demons that will take me, or let naj give me to whoever when he gets bored. you have ruined my fucking chances of getting a modicum of anything good from him... you’ve helped them ruin my life!” kai yelled as he stalked towards raven, blinded by his anger as he grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her roughly against the wall. it wasn’t that things weren’t good with naj, they were; the incubi was very giving and kaiden didn’t go without but he was still humiliated at every given opportunity, and he didn’t know who he was if he was without lan.

@oftragxdy​

[ratcoochie]

i wanna watch the new season/finish season 3 of the flash but i stopped watching it bc of west/allen and i know they get married :/