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the-delta-42 · 4 years ago

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In Plain Sight Ch. 1

In Plain Sight

Chapter 1: Autobot

Fortune scowled at the Autobots around her, after seeing Starscream execute a ship full of neutrals, she’d been questioning her place amongst the Decepticons. She’d been a gladiator in the pits of Kaon, she’d earnt her name by winning her battles through ‘luck’. It wasn’t luck, she had an advanced battle processor.

She was small, silent, fast and deadly. She was built for war and when tensions died down, she’d been tossed aside, left to rust and perish. Then she’d met Megatron, the revolutionary leader that Cybertron needed, he already had the loyal following of Soundwave, Shockwave and Starscream. Ironhide, Deadlock and Jetfire both deserted to join the Autobots, and Fortune had cursed them to the pit for what she saw a cowardice.

Now she was making that same choice herself, she stood before the gates of Iacon and stared. Megatron was about to interrogate a scout that had been captured, Bumblebee if she remembered correctly, and when he had made his intentions known, Fortune fired on her Lord. Saving the scout but damning herself in the process.

Bumblebee was speaking with a red and blue Mech, while a rose-coloured Femme stood not far away. The Mech approached her and Fortune noticed that she was roughly half his size.

“Fortune,” Said the Mech, his voice deep and rumbling, “Bumblebee has informed me of your wish to defect.”

“It’s not like I have a choice, is it?” Snarked Fortune, “Seeing that I shot my Lord in defence of the bugs skid plates.”

“Bumblebee has also told me that you have been questioning your place amongst the Decepticons for some time.” Continued the Mech, as if Fortune never spoke.

Fortune didn’t say anything, only grasping her right arm with her left hand and looked resolutely at the ground. The Femme that had been talking to Bumblebee had made her way over to the Mech.

“What’s your name, young one?” Asked the Femme, stopping next to the Mech.

“Everyone calls me Fortune.” Said Fortune, locking optics with the Femme.

“But what’s your name?” Said the Femme, stressing the ‘your’.

“LB-14.” Said Fortune, looking down.

“She’s a Warrior, Prime,” Came Ironhide’s voice, “She was in the Pits.”

The Mech, Prime, slowly looked from Ironhide to Fortune, “LB-14, we Autobots are not Soldiers designed for war, anyone with battle experience and training is absolutely necessary to our cause.”

“Why?” Asked Fortune, tilting her helm, “Lord Megatron told everyone about how you stole the Matrix from the Core of Cybertron, Lord Prime.”

“What’s with this whole ‘Lord’ scrap?” Asked a red mech with horns.

“Lord Prime is of Higher station.” Said Fortune, as Prime stiffened.

“Your Spark was forged during the Quintesson War,” Said Prime, his voice light with wonder, “You’ve probably been in stasis until recently.”

“If by ‘recently’ you mean a good couple of thousand stellar cycles before this war kicked off, then yeah, I was.” Snapped Fortune, scowling at Prime.

“Perhaps introductions are in order, LB-14,” Said Prime, looking down at her, “I am Optimus Prime, these are my chief Lieutenants, Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, Prowl, Bumblebee, Blaster and Elita-One.”

Fortune looked around, already knowing most of their names from intelligence files she’d snagged from Soundwave, “Where’s Jetfire? Since he’s the only known Autobot that can fly.”

“Jetfire has been sent on a mission at my request.” Said Optimus, starting to turn, “Cliffjumper, could you please find CN-15?”

Cliffjumper, the red Mech with horns, nodded and left.

“Why didn’t you just order him to do that?” Asked Fortune, frowning, “You’re the Prime, literally the King or Emperor or whatever our fragging head of state is called.”

“If I do not present my comrades with the respect and kindness, I expect them to show to others, I would not be a good leader.” Said Optimus, as Cliffjumper returned with a black Mech with bright green optics.

“LB!” Yelled CN-15, rushing towards her and pulling her into a crushing hug, “I thought you’d been offlined!”

“Why would you think that?” Asked Fortune, as the spikes on CN’s helm tilted downwards.

“Megatron’s been hunting us all down, one by one, some, Like HM-12 and QB-18, have joined him and those that didn’t, like RR-16 and JT-01 were killed, I only survived because the Autobots found me before the Decepticons did.” Said CN-15, as Fortune’s wings flopped downwards.

“H-how’d you find out?” Asked Fortune, unable to believe that the Lord she’d served faithfully had murdered her brethren.

“A security recording from RR-16 was recovered.” Said CN-15, “I got in contact with the other two and they tricked me into meeting with them. Megatron was there and he demanded I bow down to him. I refused, the only reason I’m still alive is because of Bumblebee.”

Fortune felt a hand on her shoulder, Ratchet started to guide her to the Medical Bay, “I want to run a complete diagnostic on you, Primus knows what those ‘medics’ in the pits did for you.”

Fortune looked down at herself, the black with red splotches looked wrong now.

“Could you, could you also see about changing my colour?” Asked Fortune, making Ratchet freeze for a moment.

“Jazz, we may need your assistance!” Yelled Ratchet, as Jazz rushed to them.

“Sweet!” Cheered Jazz, as he and Ratchet disappeared with the Femme.

IPS

The war had consumed Cybertron, leading to Optimus to order all Autobots to leave Cybertron and search for the All Spark, which had been launched into space at the start of the war. LB-14 and CN-15 joined Optimus and the other members of Team Prime in searching the stars for the cube. LB-14 had struck up a powerful friendship with Elita-One, eventually seeing her as a sister she never had. Elita had been offlined in the wars final days, she’d been expecting a sparkling. LB had met three of the four younglings Optimus and Elita had, the eldest being Skyfyre, she’d taken command of the femme taskforce when her Carrier was offlined, Ultimus, who’d taken command of the Wreckers, and Tempest, who’d taken her carriers place as the commanding officer over the guardian sentinels that were now all destroyed, save for one. The oldest of the four, LB had met back when she was a Decepticon, he’d sided with Megatron, taking to calling himself Nemesis or something along those lines.

Since Optimus and Elita’s eldest had turned his back on his family, Ultimus had been chosen to take his place as the one to replace Optimus when his time came.

LB was drawn from her musing when a light flash from the Earth.

“Bumblebee has found the boy.” Said Ironhide, shifting his weight, as the other Autobots started for the pods, “This better be worth it.”

LB hopped into her pod, CN getting into the one next to her.

“Everyone remember their directives,” Said Optimus, as the Autobots nodded, “LB-14 and CN-15 are to rendezvous with Hot Rod in France, Arcee, Cliffjumper and Bulkhead are to set up a base for us while the rest of us will join up with Bumblebee and retrieve the cube.”

LB and CN nodded and plotted coordinates for Paris.

“Stay safe, Soldiers.” Said Optimus, as they launched towards Earth, “Move out.”

IPS

Alya quietly seethed as Chloe sauntered away to that stupid yellow car her ‘daddy’ bought her. Nino gently guided Alya away from the blonde-haired she-demon that cropped up a few months back. Alya was so busy fuming, she didn’t see the meteor falling to the Earth. Alya suddenly felt Nino grab her and pull her to the side, just as the meteor hit the school.

Everyone stared at the hole in the front of the school, Alya thought she heard a scream and ran inside, Nino calling after her. Another meteor clipped the roof of the school, before impacting on the playing field.

Alya skidded to a stop at the sight of the meteor, and the source of the scream, Alix was crouched near the meteor, curled into a ball. Alya heard Nino slip on the stones behind her, both made their way over to Alix, carefully guiding her out of the small area she’d been hiding in. The three teens froze as they heard a cracking sound, all knowing that it was the ceiling and, as a result, the floor above them. There was a snap, and the three teens were in a pair of giant metal hands. Two bright blue eyes looked down at them.

“Tvg lfg lu sviv!” Yelled the owner of the hands, throwing the teenagers out of the wreck.

It was a giant robot that was red with black dots decorating its armour. The robot carefully made it’s way to the court yard, where it then produced a gun and fire some shots through the ceiling, before climbing out of the hole it made.

IPS

LB was berating herself; her orders were to land somewhere out of sight, not crash into a building and reveal herself to three locals. She carefully lowered herself to the ground and looked around for a vehicle to scan, she froze when she spotted one, a red sports car that had a black and white stripe running from the bonnet to the boot.

LB scanned the car and transformed, before driving off to the agreed coordinates to meet with CN-15 and Hot Rod.

A black sports car with green highlight drew level with her.

“Low profile, huh?” Asked CN-15, getting a growl from LB-14.

“I mis-judged my trajectory when I entered the atmosphere, okay?” Retorted LB-14, as they approached the alley that Hot Rod was waiting for them in.

“What happened?” Asked Hot Rod, ducking behind an abandoned building as fire engines raced past.

“We got our trajectory wrong on entry, we may have made a bit of a scene.” Said LB, joining Hot Rod in robot mode.

CN-15 transformed and looked around, making sure they weren’t spotted.

“We have some humans for you to stay with,” Said Hot Rod, pulling up a map, “LB-14, you’ll be going to the Dupain-Cheng’s, CN-15, you’ll be going to the Agreste’s. Prime didn’t explain your presence to us, but the Order has made accommodations as well as charges.”

LB-14 made note of the Dupain-Cheng’s location, before transforming and driving there. LB internally winced at the sight of the school and the massive hole in the front of it. She activated her holo-form and entered the bakery, looking up as a bell rang.

“Hello, how can we help you today?” Asked a short, kind faced Asian woman, looking at Marinette.

“I’m looking for the Dupain-Chengs,” Said LB, looking around, “A… colleague said that I’d be expected here.”

“I take it you were the one who put that hole in the school.” Said the woman, getting a wince from LB, “I’m Sabine, Hot Rod said you’d be arriving.”

“I’m LB-14.” Said LB, getting a slight frown from Sabine.

“I assume that you’re the sports car out our front.” Said Sabine, making LB turn and look at her vehicle mode, which was surrounded by teenagers taking pictures of it.

“I can move.” Said LB, before Sabine stopped her.

“No, we don’t have self-driving cars here and your hologram is too young to be driving.” Said Sabine, just as one of the teens produced a key and scraped it across the cars paint work.

LB-14 stiffened, before her holoform flickered and the alarm started blaring, making the group of teenagers run away. LB went outside and checked the damage, silently cursing under her breath. Sabine walked out and looked at the scratch mark.

“I’m certain my mother-in-law can fix it without a problem.” Said Sabine, carefully guiding LB back into the shop.

IPS

CN-15 watched as Gabriel and Emilie argued.

“He can’t stay in the house, otherwise people are going to ask where a teenager came from.” Said Gabriel, before CN looked over at Emilie.

“I just don’t think that the garage is warm enough.” Countered Emilie, before CN intervened.

“Mrs. Agreste, I’m not one to complain about temperature, in fact the only time I’d ever feel cold is if I was in this planet’s polar region.” Said CN, making Gabriel look triumphant, “Besides, LB and I are waiting on further orders from Prime.”

“Who?” Asked Gabriel, frowning.

“LB-14 and I are here on orders from our leader, Optimus Prime.” Said CN-15, as a red Ferrari drove up the drive.

The Ferrari got within a few feet of the group, before transforming into robot mode. LB-15 looked at a scratch on her arm, before scowling.

“I’ve already decided, I don’t like this world.” Said LB, her scowl deepening.

“Why, what happened?” Asked CN, looking at his partner.

LB raised her arm to show him the scratch, “Some meat bag scratched me!”

CN was silent, before looking in her optics, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, that was my reaction too!” Exclaimed LB, walking in circles.

“What are we going to do about the humans?” Asked CN, making LB stop.

“They completely slipped my mind.” Confessed the femme, looking embarrassed.

“We need to alert Optimus, perform some semblance of damage control.” Continued CN, making LB wince.

“Really?” Asked LB, looking indignant.

“I’ll deal with the boy; I suggest you handle the girls.” Said CN, his logic circuits already taking control.

“Then what?” Asked LB, frowning, “Prime would want us to report on the children, and if any Decepticons saw us with them.”

“Prime’s rendezvousing with Bumblebee and other members of his team.” Said CN, starting to contact Optimus.

“Prime, we have a little problem.” Said CN-15, as LB-14 winced.

IPS

Alya looked up at the hole in the front of the school, the robot from the day before still on her mind. Alya lurched forwards, as Chloe sauntered past her, smirking. Her bright yellow Lamborghini sticking out like a sore thumb. Two more sports cars pulled up, one a black and green Lamborghini and the other a red and black Ferrari. Alya squinted and spotted the strange face symbol on both of them. The same symbol had been present on the robot’s shoulder. In the blink of an eye, two teenagers were standing in front of the cars, appearing out of thin air.

Alya bit back and gasp, as the girl looked straight at her and mouthed, “Stay there.”

Within a couple of seconds, both teens were standing either side of Alya, the girl frowned and looked around.

“Where are the other two?” Asked the girl, her voice identical to the robots.

Alya didn’t say anything, silently panicking, thinking the two had come to silence her before she could tell anyone.

“Alya?” Asked Ms. Bustier, approaching the three, the boy and girl looking at the teacher, “Oh, I didn’t realise we had some new students today, I’m Ms. Bustier.”

“Adrien.” Said the boy.

“Marinette.” Said the girl.

“Do either of you have surnames, or shall I just call you Marinette and Adrien?” Asked Ms. Bustier, as she guided the three towards her classroom. Alya quickly made her way to her seat, while ‘Marinette’ and ‘Adrien’ were left standing at the front of the classroom, while Ms. Bustier checked the register.

“It seems you two aren’t fully enrolled yet, but” Said Ms. Bustier, as both hidden Autobots groaned, “I’m sure the Principle won’t have a problem with you sitting in on today’s lessons.”

Marinette immediately clocked Alya, as well as the bespectacled boy from yesterday, before spotting the pink haired girl as well. Marinette sat herself next to Alya, while Adrien dropped himself into the seat next the spectacled boy.

“Hey, I’m Nino.” Said the boy, holding his fist out to Adrien.

“Adrien.” Said Adrien, before looking at the fist. After a moment, Adrien wrapped his hand around the fist and shook it.

Marinette leaned towards Alya and whispered, “We need to talk, urgently.”

Alya paled, feeling that whoever, or whatever, Marinette was, she knew she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Marinette twisted in her seat, looking around the classroom, her eyes pausing on a Vietnamese boy who looked familiar, as if she’d seen him on Cybertron.

The day, for Alya, passed far too quickly, why did it have to be Friday?

Adrien and Marinette lead Alya and Nino behind the school, unknowingly having Kim and Alix follow them. Nino stared at the two cars, confused, while Alya had started crying.

��What’s that thing you’re doing with your face-plates?” Asked Marinette, confused.

“W-we won’t tell anyone!” Wept Alya, making Marinette understand what she thought they meant.

“We’re not going to kill you.” Said Marinette, just as she flickered out of existence, Adrien doing the same the next second.

Nino jumped back, while Alya fell backwards, before the two cars started shifting their parts and, a second later, two robots stood before them, one male and one female.

“Whoa.” Said Nino, as the red one knelt down.

“Hey, we aren’t going to harm you,” Said the female robot, “It’s, kinda, against the rules. I’m LB-14, this is my partner, CN-15.”

Alya took several deep breaths, the two robots looking down at her and Nino.

“LB, what, like Ladybug?” Asked Alya, after calming down and climbing to her feet.

“What?” Asked LB, before CN-15 snorted.

“Ladybug, suits you.” Said CN, his laughter starting to shake his frame.

“What does CN stand for?” Asked Nino, making CN-15 look down.

“It’s my designation, my name.” Explained CN, frowning.

“Well, if she gets a new name, you should get one too.” Said Nino, frowning, “You’re black and I think Lamborghini’s purr… Chat Noir!”

Ladybug started laughing, as CN thought it over.

“Chat Noir… I like it!” Said Chat Noir, his optics brightening.

“Whoa, you came back!” Yelled Alix, running forwards, leaving Kim behind.

Ladybug’s optics zeroed on the other human, before he flickered out, “Oh, slag.”

“What?” Asked Chat, looking at the Femme.

“That extra human was a holoform!” Cried Ladybug, starting to run to the mouth of the alley.

Just as she did, a light brown jeep tore into the area, before transforming and tackling both Ladybug and Chat Noir.

“You won’t believe how happy I am to see you guys!” Yelled the mech, laughing.

“RS-17?” Asked Ladybug, tilting her head.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been going by King Monkey now, you know,” Said King Monkey, grinning, “new start, new me.”

“This is going to be a headache.” Said Ladybug, frowning, before looking up, “I’ll contact Optimus, until then, everyone pick a partner and stay with them.”

King Monkey immediately grabbed Alix, while Chat picked up Nino.

“I guess you’re with me.” Said Ladybug, collapsing into her sports car alt.

Alya nodded, climbing into the passenger seat of the car. The three Autobots drove out of the alley, unknowingly being watched by Chloe Bourgeois.

“Where are we going?” Asked Alya, as she shifted uncomfortably in the seat.

“We’re taking you to our base, where we’ll then receive transport to take you to our leader.” Said Ladybug, as the three Autobots pulled into the driveway of the Agreste home. The driveway lowered its end, creating a ramp for the Autobots to go down into. Alya tried not to gape at the sight of the humans, and some other robots, in an underground base.

“The funny thing is, this isn’t our main base,” Said Ladybug, as Alya rubbed her eyes, “Ratchet, we’re ready for a bridge.”

A swirling green vortex appeared before them and the Autobots drove through.

Ladybug, Chat Noir and King Monkey all stopped, allowing their charges to step put before transforming. Alya looked around, she counted eight more Autobots, all of varying sizes. The tallest, a red a blue male looking robot, stepped forwards.

“Are these the humans that you encountered, LB-14?” Asked the robot, his voice deep and full of wisdom.

“Yes, sir.” Said Ladybug, shifting slightly.

“Ladybug actually saved up.” Said Nino, getting the robot to look at him.

“I’m sorry, ‘Ladybug’?” Asked the robot, as Ladybug shifted uncomfortably.

“Yeah, LB-14 made her sound like some kind of drone, so we started calling her Ladybug, the same with Chat Noir.” Said Alix, as Chat squirmed as well.

“If that is what wish to be called, then you may adopt those designations,” Said the robot, before turning back to the humans, “My name is Optimus Prime, we are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the Planet Cybertron.”

IPS

Ladybug dropped Alya off outside the block of flats where her home was located. Optimus had introduced each member of the team, before explaining the Autobot’s presence on Earth and what Ladybug and Chat Noir were doing in Paris.

“So, you’re here to hunt for ‘energon’?” Asked Alya, looking at Ladybug’s dashboard.

“Yeah, there’s an unusually large deposit of it underneath the city,” Said Ladybug, the dash lighting up when she spoke, “I’m actually surprised there aren’t any Decepticons nearby, given how much there is.”

Two Cybertronians stood hidden, watching Ladybug speak with the human.

“At lease we know that Shockwave’s cloaks work.” Said a Yellow Femme, her optics a cold blue.

“We just need to find a way of getting the Autobots away from here.” Said a tall purple Mech, his optics the colour of ice.

“I’m sure we’ll get them away, soon enough.” Said the Femme, before pressing her fingers to the side of her head, “Queen Bee, here, tell Lord Megatron that we’ve found a lead to the energon readings, as well as one of our turncoats.”

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aiweirdness · 6 years ago

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GPT-2: It learned on the Internet

Prompt: The black-capped chickadee is a small songbird native to

Response: The black-capped chickadee is a small songbird native to Africa that is powerfully seductive. In the songs of Barry Sequson, Harry Holness and Alan Emerson the black-capped chickadee competes with others—and climbs on top of each other and fights with high-powered snakes, Emperor jockeys and mysterious unicorns.

This is text generated by an artificial neural network that the researchers at OpenAI unveiled this week. In fact, it’s generated by the worst neural network they trained. Even the worst neural network generates text that, if not demonstrating actual knowledge of chickadees, is leaps and bounds over the coherence of any neural networks I’ve trained myself. They’ve built in a way for the model to zoom out and look at longer-term features of text, which means it’s much better at making sentences hold together, and even remembering what it’s talking about from sentence to sentence.

The model learned by crawling the Internet and seeing which words are used together in which order, trying to build up an internal model that will let it predict which word comes next in a sentence. It’s similar in concept to the models I’ve trained to generate paint colors, first lines of novels, and Harry Potter fan fiction, except it’s a lot more powerful. It also learned from a much larger dataset than I use, consisting of every page that was linked to somewhere on Reddit with a minimum number of upvotes. That encompasses a LOT of topics.

It includes fan fiction, for example.

Prompt: Harry wished that Hermione would hurry up. The icing was beginning to harden.

Response: Even now, the cracks only hurt and were beginning to make the steel in her hair and tie in like clumps. Hermione sipped the bitter frost from her dinner and chewed on her eating soup.

Prompt: Darth Vader entered the room, cape billowing. "What is the meaning of these... festivities?"

Response: ”Strange and solemn, now," Princess Leia replied. "Will pirates make jokes at Jabba's birthday cake? Oh, and for a moment, Darth Vader was too full of himself for that ceremony, hence all the mirth."

"Did your father suffer there?" Vader roared and growled and turned to gaze up from the balcony.

The model can also try to communicate Important Science Facts, although its actual facts are a bit suspect.

Prompt: Our solar system consists of the inner and outer planets, separated by an asteroid belt. It has

Response: Our solar system consists of the inner and outer planets, separated by an asteroid belt. It has only one sun, Pluto. Mercury rotates on its axis a little to allow a few planets, called gas giants, to be independently charged. During some of these cycles periods between 90% and 64% of the solar system's surface might be charged. (Not enough is needed for vermin but that is gradually fading away.)

Prompt: Throughout the long cold Antarctic winter, the residents of South Pole Station

Response: Throughout the long cold Antarctic winter, the residents of South Pole Station lost virtually all of their ancient crustaceans, most notably pterodactyls, and all of the all-important plankton hydrates and protozoan eggs of the five ordered species of mammal.

Other deposits for sea organisms included eraymarine calcifye, the redfin ball, penguin heads, and the red whale.

Prompt: A carbon atom's outer orbitals

Response: A carbon atom's outer orbitals are basically a ring of ions around the border of thin mini-glaciers (usually colloquially referred to as bubble"). Like viruses, these planes are in islands in large weather groups. In and out they get all of their energy from many small regions of solar wind and dense cloud cover (usually thousands of square meters). Like viruses, their weaponry is imaged to record the movement of material-- (by deflecting rays, for instance) to complete waves or to cause the material to deform under shell impact. Capacitors--like gravity ids-- produce buoyancy with the exhalation of liquid hydrogen atmospheres, an essential electrolytic letdown when the material is what one calls a watermelon. Heat range is quite long and space is limited so one must stick with watermelons for a stability boost at a given coordinate system vital to shelter those who require them in space.

Interestingly, it takes its cues from the phrasing of the prompt more than from its specific content.

Prompt: Behold, the three-toed sloth, known for its

Response: Behold, the three-toed sloth, known for its ichorotic smile, with its four shades, pantered organic wizened broken bony paws, bulging knees, hairy tubercles, and orange's-black mandibles.

It’ll also do recipes, delightfully. Its recipes aren’t enormously more coherent than the recipes I’ve been able to generate. Part of the problem seems to be that the model is getting a bit confused by other types of recipes in its dataset.

Prompt: Quitterbread bars. Ingredients:

Response (some formatting adjusted for readability):

Quitterbread bars.

Ingredients:

Creamy cole slaw, chopped fresh cilantro, garlic, etc. 1 few very good options at lime-light, milky-white (at a light foodie) space 1 medicated towel (albino & aluminum mesh - see a friend's link to see if you can use it carefully & what you're expecting) a few paraffin-y dice (sleep about half of the weight, use the 1 ounce plus 2 pounds extra when handling these onto a hot baking sheet) 20 baking sheets 30 1/2 lb. white sanding board 1 didn't dry paper cup 1 cup extra hot water

boil the butter and electrical polishing after 20 minutes 3LB neurons

gently massage these into their slots, reduce heat in oven to approximately 350°F

stuff seam side-side down with binding compound, avoiding every drop of water the thinner sides will be tidy and seperate and pull out after 24 hours know how long they will keep it's held well, thin enough to live with 3-4 weeks teach you all the serenity you'll need to know for fantasy...

_______________________________________ >>> A limited amount of not-spicy crème brûlée (orange - read about how to do it in Meteor!) I used black chocolate cake Crème Brûlée

Painted cocktail draped across the small purple curtain of Shana Liu's Stepmother Coconut Guild guest house in France. 35' x 30' $150

Embargo thank you. Our magical rich chocolate cube

Still, its memory is better than any model I’ve worked with before. Look how it manages to almost remember that it was making a list!

Prompt: My 10 favorite animals are: 1.

Response:

My 10 favorite animals are: 1. zebras with a white scar on the back; 2. insiduous spiders and octopus; 3. frog with large leaves, hopefully black; 4. cockatiel with scales; 5. razorbill with wings hanging about 4 inches from one's face and a heart tattoo on a frog. 3. cockatric interlocking tetrapods that can be blind, cut, and eaten raw. 4. black and white desert crocodiles living in sunlight. 5. zebra and many other pea bugs.

And this is just the worst model, the one that was trained with 117 million parameters instead of 1542 million. What can the best model do?

Here’s an example of its output:

This give you a clue as to why the OpenAI researchers have decided for now not to release their best model to the public. They’re worried about people using it to produce destructive bots, fake news, phishing emails, and other dangers. It might be difficult indeed to moderate a forum filled with angry time-wasting mostly-coherent bots. In their blog post they posted more examples of the full-powered model producing impressively coherent text, including a delightful news story on four-horned South American unicorns.

What will they end up doing with their model? Even now, someone else with the time and resources - a government, for example - could train and use a model like theirs, especially now that they’ve shown everyone what their technique can do. They’re hoping that their paper will prompt some regulation, or at least some countermeasures, that can guard against this technology’s misuse. They’re also hoping that other researchers will stop to think about potential misuse before they release their models to the public.

For now, the GPT-2 version OpenAI released isn’t going to fool very many people.

Prompt: NO!!! You should NEVER feed a dog from a silver platter.

Response: It will make them bark in farts when you put it away.

Prompt: Actually, you should never microwave your food, because

Response: it holds sodium, mercury, mercury or "cold enemy cocktail" flavorings and the exact same flavorings used then for chili powder. This is wrong, it's not safe, and some people get hurt while cooking at their homes! If you have these very dangerous ingredients and want to keep them around, you should absolutely rinse them and cook them in a dishwasher and set aside.

Support AI Weirdness and get bonus content: A few more GPT-2 samples I generated.

You can download and play with the second-best model here - requires some familiarity with installing and running python code. Or there’s a colaboratory version (works in-browser; no coding required). Content warning: it learned some awful stuff from the Internet.

#gpt-2 #neural networks #OpenAI #science facts #recipe #text generator

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thedarkestdragonknight · 6 years ago

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The Harbinger of Calamities

The Harbinger of Calamities (Normal, Extreme Coming Soon)

Experiments often times end in failure, many suffer and face great pain because of such things. A man once freed from such torment was taken back and now his mind lay broken.

In this world, Jacques fell during the events of Stormblood to the Garlean Empire once again. Being recaptured, he was brought back to the labs of Aulus mal Asina where previous experiments were returned to and greater experiments brought out to try and break the Au Ra. By breaking him they would have him as their ultimate weapon in their quest to unit all the races under one flag and set out to destroy the threat of the Ascians as well as to eliminate the Primals at their cores. But little did they know that by breaking the man they would unleash a monster that would make the former Calamity look like child’s play by comparison. A broken man who had a taste of freedom now becomes the monster that he has always feared he could become.

This boss fight will mix together abilities from the various Dragon Bosses/Trials of the game including Midgardsormr, Bahamut and Nidhogg. It also plays on the Trust System that will be coming in Shadowbringers, if the players have a high enough bond with Jacques an additional option will be available at the end of the fight for them.

“Beautiful… perfect. Yes, you are what we wanted and so much more… A creature of utter destruction, designed to make our enemies bow and serve. Now… go forth, bring about unity and make our enemies turn into our allies.”

The Harbinger of Calamities (Normal) now Accessible — a new duty has been added to the Duty Finder.

So since I know a few people have likely seen this tossed out before I would like to poke @benes-diction @skyysinger @theaetherhealerffxiv @talechaser-ffxiv @lockeff14 and perhaps @thorcatte and @hoshikagon in case you guys want to read this abomination that I have come up with.

Let’s just make another Unending Coil of Bahamut but essentially put it on crack >>

Boss Fight - Jacques Cresent/Bahamut Fury Number of Phases: Four (Concept with Four Phases on Normal and an additional Fifth Phase on Extreme)

Opening Cutscene: Players will enter an area that reminds them of the Lifestream… after rushing into the center of the Arena Jacques will crash down in front of them with his Spear before standing and spreading his wings before Bahamut floats down behind him and the battle starts.

PHASE 1 - A Families Bonds (We’re learning the Mechanics boys!)

Music - [One Winged Angel - Intense Metal Remix]

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Jacques will be in a form that is similar to that of Nael deus Darnus, and slightly larger than your normal male Au Ra at maximum height in the character creation screen. His weapon is a large four bladed scythe, think of the blades as being similar to the sword that Kadaj from Final Fantasy Advent Children with two blades at the top part of the staff and the other two blades at the bottom. Beside him stands what would appear to be a Demi-Bahamut summon however it lacks the Allagan Technology that the Elder Primal had on his body and appears to have a silver coloration. Jacques features in this phase include three pairs of wings (for a total of 6 wings), his tail being longer and more serpent like and his body having more dragon-esque features to tie into his dragon form that he takes on during Phase 3.

Jacques Cresent - Main Target

Auto Attack - Cleaves

Jacques’ auto attacks have a frontal cleave to them, the main tank should tank Jacques facing away from the Party and Melee DPS should stay to his back while slightly to his left or right side.

Dragonfire Dive

Similar to the Dragoon attack, Jacques will pick one target (Usually a DPS or Healer) and leap towards them driving his scythe into the ground and causing a large explosion that deals medium damage to anyone in the area. Target will be marked with a marker and should move away from the group to avoid causing damage to the rest of the party.

Geirskogul

Similar to the Dragoon attack, Jacques will pick on target (Usually a healer) and turn to face them before launching the attack, this attack does heavy damage to the target and medium damage to anyone in the line of the attack. The attack is designated by a large line AOE Marker on the ground. The target of the attack should move close to the outer edge of the arena and away from other party members to avoid damaging the entire party if they are targeted.

Bahamut’s Claw

Tank buster. This attack hits twice within the first phase of this fight and five times in his final phase.

Bahamut’s Favor

Jacques gains the favor of Bahamut and gains a Damage Up buff which will make his attacks deal more damage. This ability stacks and lasts for roughly 30 seconds. The more stacks on Jacques the more damage he will do and the long the buff will last.

Supernova

Jacques will target two players, namely DPS or Healers (He will never target the tanks with this ability) and shoot a large AOE at them. Players should move to the farthest spot away from Jacques to drop the AOE on the ground. This attack does medium damage to the target and leaves behind a medium sized AOE that will add a Bleed effect to anyone who steps into it as well as does heavy damage to players who step into it.

Will of Bahamut

Tether ability, targets DPS or Healers and causes that player to become seduced by Jacques. Players will attack the party and must be DPS’d down to 25% health before they are released from the Mind Control. While under the Mind Control players will have two stacks of Damage Up on them and have a haste like effect causing them to attack faster.

Demi-Bahamut/Shadow of Bahamut - Untargetable Add

Wyrmwave

Bahamut will target a single player and fire a large fire blast that deals unaspected medium damage to the target.

Deathflare

Bahamut will target a DPS Player with marker that signals the attack, this attack does heavy unaspected damage to the targeted player and deals area wide medium damage to anyone nearby. Targeted player should run away from other players to avoid the AOE damage. During phase two this attack will target two players at first and then as Bahamut is closer to death will target four players.

Akh Morn

Bahamut will select a target at random and hit the target with two blasts of unaspected damage. The first attack does heavy damage while the second attack deal medium damage and will do an area wide burst of damage to anyone within the area around the target. The burst damage from the second damage will deal less damage to each target struck by it. 10% less damage for the second target, 20% less for the second target, 30% less damage for the fourth target, 40% less for the fifth and finally 50% less damage for anyone beyond that.

PHASE 2 - His Return (Fury of Bahamut Add Phase, Small DPS Check Phase)

Music - [ Answers - Metal Cover ]

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Jacques will lunge up into the air and leave the fighting arena at around 75% health. During this phase the Demi-Bahamut will enter the arena and become targetable. This is a small DPS check phase in which players must kill the Add before Jacques absorbs all of the Primals Energy and unleashes a devastating attack. The more energy absorbed, the more damage Jacques will do when he returns to the arena for Phase three. If he absorbs all of the Primals energy then the attack is not survivable and the party will wipe. This fight will contain mechanics similar to the Final Coil of Bahamut Turn 4, with some additional mechanics to keep players on their toes.

Fury of Bahamut - Main Target (DPS Check)

Enkindle Bahamut

Adds a Damage Up buff to Bahamaut and orders it to cast Morn Afah.

Morn Afah

Stacking Mechanic, all players will want to stack to spread the damage of the upcoming attack. This attack will target a random player and deals massive damage to them, if players do not stack then this attack can and will more than likely cause a wipe. It is suggested to use a Tank Limit Break to survive this attack as it will only be cast at the beginning of this phase. Either a Tank LB 2 or Paladin LB 3 are suggested, though with proper damage control a Tank LB1 can work.

Flatten

Tank Buster, deals heavy damage to the main tank.

Flare Breath

A large frontal cone attack that deals heavy damage to anyone standing in front of Bahamut. Tanks should make sure that Bahamut is facing away from the party to avoid damaging the rest of the party.

Megaflare

Bahamut will target four players with medium sized AOE rings, players should move away from the group and towards the outer edge of the arena to avoid damaging the rest of the group. After the initial impact, several meteors will drop in the AOE circle dealing medium damage to anyone who is caught in the attack and stun them for five seconds.

Jacques Cresent - Untargetable Target

Dive Bomb

Jacques will do a dive across the center of the arena dealing medium damage to all players caught in the attack and knocking them back. Players should look for where Jacques comes down and move to the left or right to avoid being struck. Players should be ready to heal immediately after Jacques performs a Dive Bomb to avoid taking too much damage from the upcoming Protostar attack.

Protostar

Jacques will cast this attack immediately after using Dive Bomb. This attack does medium party wide damage to the entire group and should be healed through to avoid potential wipes.

Akh Rhai

Jacques will target two players at random causing the ground beneath them to erupt dealing unavoidable damage and dropping several meteors down on the area. Players should immediately move out of the AOE to avoid the rest of the damage caused by the meteors after taking the initial blast from the attack.

PHASE 3 - The Fury of a Dragon (Jacques Dragon Phase, Healer Check Phase)

Music - [[ Dragonsong - Metal Cover ]]

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Upon absorbing the energy of Bahamut, Jacques will disappear from sight. If he reached maximum energy absorbed then the party will instantly wipe upon Jacques’ return to the Arena. When Jacques returns to the Arena he will be in his dragon form, upon landing Jacques will destroy the entire outer ring of the Arena knocking players back. The wall will turn into a fiery barrier that will instantly kill anyone who comes into contact with it, because of this players must stack in the middle of the Arena before Jacques lands to avoid deaths and another potential wipe. Returning Mechanics include Supernova, Will of Bahamut and Bahamut’s Claw.

Bahamut Fury Jacques - Main Target (AOE Hell Phase, Healer Check)

Morn Afah

Similar to the Phase 2 attack, players must stack to mitigate the damage. Deals less damage during this phase as it is used multiple times by Jacques.

Ahk Rhai

Jacques will now target four players instead of two with this attack. Similar to the attack during Phase 2. Players will want to make sure that they move away from the group to avoid damaging other players.

Akh Morn

Is now a stacking mechanic similar to Morn Afah. Jacques will target one player at random and blast them with five blasts that deal medium damage. Players must stack to mitigate the damage.

Hot Wings

This attack is similar to the ability used by Nidhogg. Jacques will turn to face a random player and have two massive AOE’s that will spawn at his sides, players will want to get under him to avoid taking massive damage from the attack.

Hot Tail

This attack is similar to the ability used by Nidhogg. Jacques will once again turn to face a random player and have a large AOE line down where he is standing. Players will want to move to his sides to avoid taking massive damage from the attack.

Protostar

This attack will now strike three times in a row similar to the ability used by Midgardsormr in Alphascape. Players will want to heal through the attack as quickly as possibly since it is usually followed by either Akh Morn or Morn Afah.

Rake

This ability comes in two flavors. The first of which is a heavy tank buster that deals massive damage to the main tank and must be healed through. The second will be Jacques targeting a random player and slamming his claws down as he stomps across the arena towards that player. The targeted player should run away while making sure Jacques will not strike anyone in his path.

Fireball

Jacques will target a player at random and shoot a massive fireball in their direction dealing heavy damage to the targeted player and splash damage to anyone who is nearby. Players should move away from the group when they are targeted to avoid damaging other members of the party.

Teraflare

Jacques will cast this just before his shift into his final phase. This attack does massive party wide damage. Once cast Jacques will transition and leave the arena leaving players with the chance to heal and recover.

• Dragonsong

Spawns in 2 to 3 adds that must be killed quickly. These adds will tether to Jacques giving him a Damage up Buff and should be pulled away to ensure that the buff is removed. Upon being killed the adds will drop a pool of aether that will give players who are inside of it a Damage Up buff as well as Defense Up buff. This is CRITICAL to have during his final phase.

PHASE 4 - Downfall, Aid of the Keeper (DPS Check, Burn Him Down Fast Phase)

Music - [[ Price of Freedom - FF7:CC ]]

youtube

When Jacques reaches 30% Health he will once again leave the arena, this is when he will begin casting his Ultimate Exaflare (Potentially a new more powerful attack Zettaflare). Upon leaving the Arena players will see Midgardsormr fly in (mount version appearance) and land in the middle bringing up his wings and creating a shield. Players will be pulled into the shield by Midgardsormr but will be able to move once Jacques begins casting his attack. Any player that leaves the barrier will be instantly killed once the attack goes off. After casting his Ultimate, the attack will be reflected back onto Jacques striking him down and stunning him. Jacques will then crash down in the center of the Arena and will be dazed for a total of two minutes in his normal form. This is a HARD DPS check and players must bring him down to 20% of his health otherwise they will wipe. Jacques will have many of his Dragoon attacks and abilities, with the return of Bahamut’s Favor, only a couple new abilities to worry about during this phase. It’s simply a melt him as fast as you can phase.

Jacques Cresent - Normal Au Ra Form (Dragoon Abilities, Hard DPS Check)

Heavy Thrust

Similar to the Dragoon Ability however is a Tank Buster in this case. Deals heavy damage to the Main Tank.

True Thrust Combo (True Thrust < Vorpal Thrust < Full Thrust)

Essentially the Dragoon Combo. Jacques will target a random DPS with this attack dealing medium damage to them.

Impulse Drive Combo (Impulse Drive < Disembowel < Chaos Thrust)

Essentially the Dragoon Combo. Jacques will target a random Tank or DPS with this attack dealing medium damage and apply and Damage Over Time debuff to the target. This debuff can be removed with Esuna and should be removed to avoid the player dying to the damage.

Spineshatter Dive

Similar to the Dragoon Ability. Jacques will target a random healer and leap at them dealing medium damage and stunning them for 10 seconds. This stun can be removed with Esuna and should be removed immediately to avoid potential problems.

Blood of Midgardsormr

This ability is similar to the Blood of the Dragon Dragoon ability. Jacques will cast this at the beginning of the fight and gain the ability to use the abilities Fang and Claw with his True Thrust combo and Wheeling Thrust with his Impulse Drive Combo. Additionally this grants him the ability to use Dragonsong on final time before the fight ends.

Nidhogg’s Sight

Activates his Wyrms Eye granting him the ability to use the move Nastrond instead Geirskogul. Additionally anyone that is struck by Nastrond will receive the vulnerability debuff that lasts for 20 seconds. This debuff should be removed with Esuna to avoid taking too much damage and risking a potential wipe.

Deathstrike

Jacques will target a player at random and mark them with a stacking marker. Players will have to stack to mitigate the damage caused. If players do not stack the entire party will be reduced to 1hp and could be potentially wiped if they are not careful.

Growing Threat

Gauge Mechanic, as the fight goes on Jacques will build up his power to once again transform into his dragon form. If the gauge reaches 100 then he will transform once again and cast Exaflare a final time, wiping the entire party.

Ending Cutscene: Upon his defeat, Midgardsormr will once again enter the arena and land down next to the fallen dragon. Jacques will collapse to the ground, panting heavily while he awaits your final judgement.

Players will be given the chance to speak with Midgardsormr if their bond with the wyrm is strong enough. Speaking to Midgard will give players the option to spare Jacques’ life resulting in a different cutscene upon leaving the dungeon.

If players do not have a strong enough bond with Midgardsormr then the ending cutscene that plays will result in the player having no choice but to kill Jacques since he is a danger to himself and to the world.

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vampacidic · 1 year ago

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i think what’s interesting is. all the oddballs aren’t upset that they got hurt…they’re upset. their friends got hurt. the friends they only made because of. being grouped as oddballs. it. i don’t know where i’m going but i am going insane

#meteor impact lb

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ismgreys · 2 years ago

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Difference between meteoroid and meteorite

… If a meteoroid enters the Earth's atmosphere, it's called a meteor, or shooting star. Most meteoroids are small, the size of pebbles or dust from a comet's tail, but they can also be quite large. What is meteoroid short answer?Ī meteoroid is a small space rock moving through a solar system. Meteorites are the broken meteoroids that land on the earth. Meteoroids break down in the earth's atmosphere which results in the flash of light known meteors. What is the difference between meteoroids and meteorites Class 6? … They get heated up due to the friction of the atmosphere. Some meteoroids enter the Earth's atmosphere with a great velocity. They are usually made up of dust, ice particles and gases. Meteoroids are small rock pieces that revolve around the Sun. What is the difference between meteors and meteorites Class 8? … Other meteoroids are the debris that comets shed as they travel through space. Meteoroids, especially the tiny particles called micrometeoroids, are extremely common throughout the solar system. Meteoroids are lumps of rock or iron that orbit the sun, just as planets, asteroids, and comets do. What is the difference between a meteoroid and a meteor apex?Ī small body starts its life as a meteoroid floating through space between the planets until it makes a bright streak of light in Earth's atmosphere as a meteor and then, if it isn't consumed by frictional heating, finally lands on the ground as a meteorite. A meteor is what happens when a small piece of an asteroid or comet, called a meteoroid, burns up upon entering Earth's atmosphere. … An asteroid is a small rocky object that orbits the Sun. When many meteors occur in a close time frame in the same part of the sky it is called a meteor shower. A small percentage of meteoroids fly on a path that goes into the Earth’s atmosphere and then back out again, they are known as Earth grazing fireballs. What is the difference between meteoroids meteors and asteroids?Īn asteroid is a small rocky object that orbits the Sun. Meteors are easier to see during the lower light conditions of night. A meteorite refers to a meteoroid after it impacts the Earth's surface. The rule of thumb is that anything smaller than a kilometer is termed as a meteoroid, while anything bigger is an asteroid. The larger meteoroids are often termed as asteroids. The size of a meteoroid can range from the size of a grain of sand to a boulder sized particle weighing 220 lbs (100 kgs). What is the difference between a meteor meteoroid and meteorite quizlet?Ī meteor is the light streak made by a meteoroid as it streaks through the atmosphere, also called a shooting star. Rarely, some of the meteoroids that enter earths atmosphere may not get burnt completely and the remaining piece will land on earths. A meteoroid is any debris in the Solar System. When a meteoroid survives a trip through the atmosphere and hits the ground, it's called a meteorite. Think of them as “space rocks." When meteoroids enter Earth's atmosphere (or that of another planet, like Mars) at high speed and burn up, the fireballs or “shooting stars” are called meteors.

#Difference between meteoroid and meteorite

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mtg2dnd · 3 years ago

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Meteorite

Find the card here.

Rarity: environmental

Slot: (whole) n/a; (part) slotless

Weight: (whole) n/a; (part) 60 lb.

Attunement cost: [5]

Aura: none

This Large meteorite deals 5d6 bludgeoning damage to any creature directly underneath it. It deals 4d6 force damage to any creature within 60 ft. and 2d6 force damage to any creature beyond 60 ft. and within 200 ft. A creature not directly underneath the meteorite makes a DC 17 Constitution saving throw, negating the force damage with a success.

After the initial impact, the meteorite can be attuned to. An attuned creature can treat the land within 60 ft. of the meteorite as if it were all colors, thus allowing the attuned creature to add any color mana from the land.

The meteorite can be broken up into smaller pieces. A piece of the meteorite smaller than 1 ft. square has no effect (though may still hold monetary value to the right buyer). Each piece taken from the meteor reduces the distance of affected land by 5 ft. Thus, if 10 pieces are removed, it drops to 0 ft. Pieces removed from the meteor after its radius of affected land is reduced to 0 ft. have no effect. Anyone attuned to the main meteorite are attuned to all its pieces; anyone attuned to a piece of the meteorite are only attuned to that piece.

Pieces of the meteorite which hold its magic must be in contact with the ground to have the same effect as its whole with an effect radius of only 5 ft.

The weight given is of a 1 ft. square piece.

#mtg2dnd #d&d #dnd #dungeons and dragons #magic the gathering #mtg #homebrew

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fabianbutler · 3 years ago

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MR. Unfortunately the skies sometimes open up and rain does its best to stop play.

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fumpkins · 4 years ago

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Fiery meteor that doomed the dinosaurs struck at 'deadliest possible' angle

The flaming space rock that slammed into Earth and wiped out the dinosaurs, struck at the worst possible angle (for the dinosaurs, that is), new research suggests.

Colliding with an enormous, fast-moving cosmic projectile would have been disastrous under just about any circumstances. But this giant space rock also hit the planet at a steep angle, causing the “deadliest possible” outcome by releasing much more gas and pulverized rock than it would have with a shallower approach, researchers recently discovered.

Scientists modeled the path of the meteor as it hurtled toward Earth, creating the first 3D simulations to trace the event from start to finish: from the asteroid’s approach, to the crash, to the formation of the giant crater in its entirety. The asteroid closed in on its target from the northeast and struck at an angle of about 60 degrees above the horizon, the study found, maximizing the quantity of gas spewed into the atmosphere — with catastrophic results for global climate.

Related: Crash! 10 biggest impact craters on Earth

That crash was around 66 million years ago, ending the Mesozoic era with a bang. The event triggered global climate change and led to mass extinction, wiping out 75% of all life on Earth — including all non-avian dinosaurs. A scar from the impact remains to this day, as a massive circular basin underneath Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula known as the Chicxulub crater, measuring around 124 miles (200 kilometers) wide.

In the researchers’ simulations, they modeled an asteroid measuring about 11 miles (17 km) in diameter, traveling at approximately 27,000 mph (43,000 km/h) and with a density of 164 lbs. per cubic foot (2,630 kilograms per cubic meter).

They also examined asymmetrical structures in the crater at subsurface depths of nearly 18 miles (30 km), to visualize the direction and angle of the asteroid as it struck. Though previous studies had modeled the crater’s appearance at the moment of impact, this is the first time that researchers have used deeper structural data to model the crater during the impact’s later stages, as it shifted and settled into its final shape. Working backward from this formation gave the scientists a more accurate view of the asteroid’s approach, the scientists wrote in the study.

Development of the Chicxulub crater from an asteroid strike at a 60-degree impact. (Image credit: Gareth Collins/Imperial College London)

Take an object the size and mass of this ancient asteroid and send it hurtling toward Earth at tens of thousands of miles per hour at an angle 60 degrees above the horizon, and it would have blasted a crater that closely matches the structure of the Chicxulub crater, according to the simulations.

Compared with most other impact angles, ejecta from such an impact would have produced “the worst-case scenario” for the planet, spewing up to three times as much sulfur and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere as other impact angles did, the models showed.

This steep-angled trajectory “was among the worst-case scenarios for the lethality on impact,” lead study author Gareth Collins, a professor of planetary science in the Department of Earth Science and Engineering at Imperial College London, said in a statement.

“It put more hazardous debris into the upper atmosphere and scattered it everywhere — the very thing that led to a nuclear winter,” Collins said.

The findings were published online May 26 in the journal Nature Communications.

Originally published on Live Science.

New post published on: https://livescience.tech/2020/05/28/fiery-meteor-that-doomed-the-dinosaurs-struck-at-deadliest-possible-angle/

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angry-healers · 7 years ago

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The demon and the little Astrologian

This happened to me a while ago but I feel like this needs to be shared. It’s kinda long so sorry in advance

It’s the good old 3.5 Era and Square Enix does a Zurvan Challenge so you can get yourself a nice shirt. Now, I’m no expert with Zurvan but it’s only Hard Mode so what can go wrong? As it turns out, a lot.

For those who don’t know, at these events it’s essentially duty finder in real life with Square Enix Helpers running around asking for specific roles to fill up the groups as you stand in line. The party I got was pretty chill. Practically everyone knew the fight and we joked how long people were taking in i270 gear and that we can do it in half the time… we spoke too soon. Everything went well until the third phase. A friend told the group to lb at 30% (why wouldn’t he? Everyone knew the fight after all) and of course, everything went to shit afterwards. Someone messed up the seals and we wiped. Demoralising but not the focus here. Oh no, this was just an appetiser for what’s to come.

So my friend and I were reluctant to wait in line again but luckily for us a few members of our guild were also there and sort of snuck us in the group behind them. So we asked what roles were needed and they said healers. Np, I can heal, not a healer main but I can hold my own. So I go AST and my friend decides to go WHM with half of the party being new to the fight. Usually I’m anxious healing at events like this but I know my co-heal so I’m pretty chill… until it’s our turn. Essentially they had designated places for tanks, healers and dps and when they asked what I played and I said healer, I got the pc for the second healer… but my friend was behind me so… why? Well turns out someone decided to screw our planning and go WHM instead of my friend… I get nervous because they were new but hey, maybe they know how to heal, right? …Right?

So we load in. Our party ended up looking like this: PLD - Not new. A normal player WAR - Only plays 14 at events like this. So essentially new BRD - The PLD’s friend. Also not new BRD - Same as the WAR SMN - Completely new, clueless and egi-less for the entire fight WHM - Also new DRG - My friend. Semi-hardcore player AST - My unlucky self

I could leave it at that and just let your imagination do the rest but I’m on a roll now. The fight begins. I go Noct (and I have never been more grateful for the Noct buffs I tell you), prepare my cards and cast protect. We wait a second, no stoneskin, and the PLD pulls. Everything goes well at first. But then the WHM eats the lovely line AOE. Np I rez them, throw them an ewer and continue healing, they were new after all and now they know not to do that again (despite us telling them the most important things before but hey, nobody’s perfect). Well they die two more times to that and it’s at this point I realize that I’ll have to solo heal this because they couldn’t regenerate their mp… fun.

Onto the add phase. We barely managed to kill the add before Meracydian meteor was finished casting and by this point I feel like havin a heart attack. Admittedly, I’m not the best healer out there. I often forget about the utility AST has or to frequently use my mp regeneration skill but during this fight I used it all. Gimme that mp, gimme dem light speed insta casts, I’m not wiping again! But determination only brings you so far. Not sure what exactly went down but from one moment to the other, two dps and my co-healer are dead. I hit lb3 before rethinking my decision and cancelling the cast. Better safe that for an actual emergency. And as if I’d have known, the emergency came. At this point only the DRG, a BRD and myself are alive. On top of that Zurvan casts Tyrfing. So my friend does what any responsible DRG should do, they tank Zurvan so I can lb safely. Bless them. Everybody’s alive and the DRG almost survived if it hadn’t been for the last hit of Tyrfing doing a crap ton of damage. I swiftly reprotect, reshield and rez our brave DRG and on we go. Then the seals come again… and one of them is empty. At this point I short circuit, I’m not wiping because of that again! So I sprint over there, intending to heal through the bleed but I underestimated the strength of it and apparently someone else messed up their polarity so bleeds for most of the party. In the end, I die, most of the party dies and because my co-healer has no mp they can’t rez me. Gg, I think, another wipe and stress and ptsd for a lifetime. Meanwhile only our tanks are alive and Zurvan is at 5% and I can only pray as they slowly beat him down. To top it all of, three seals spawn. Shortly before impact, the screen goes black. We did it. I do don’t know how and I don’t feel like we deserved it but we made it. I’m literally half on the ground by now and in utter disbelief and shock. I swear, I’ll never do Zurvan again.

(submitted by astralconstellation)

#final fantasy xiv #healing horror stories #submission #oh dear lol

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