#metatron also did this let’s be real

[lesbianjackkline]

fagsitel, the angel of thursgay or whatever

[tanadrin]

And God said, "Behold! I have created the fourth primordial force: the weak interaction!"

And the angels all clapped and nodded politely, and there was a long silence; and finally Verchiel, the Angel of Grace, spoke up and asked, "Er, what exactly does it do, O Fashioner?"

And God said, "What do you mean, 'what does it do?' It's the fourth fundamental force of the universe."

And Verchiel said, "You mentioned that. Um. But it's just that the other three sort of have a brand, you know? Gravity helps build large-scale structures, acts over vast cosmic distances, shapes time and space. The strong force is secret, hidden, binding together quarks and all that. Electromagnetism, very cool stuff, somewhere in between. We're all big fans of the whole magnetic monopole double bluff, very clever. But, er. What does this 'weak interaction' do?"

And God said, "It mediates radioactive decay. Sort of."

And Verchiel said, "Radioactive decay? All radioactive decay?"

And God said, "No. Just some kinds."

And Zephaniel, the Chief of the Ishim spoke, and he said, "A whole independent force just to mediate some kinds of radioactive decay?"

And God said, "Well. Not totally independent. Technically it's related to electromagnetism."

And Zephaniel said, "Wait, it's not even a real force?"

And God said, "It's totally a real force. It's just that it's one aspect of a combined electromagnetic and weak force. An electro-weak force, if you will."

And Metatron, the Celestial Scribe, scratched his head at this, but said nothing.

And Cambiel, the Angel of Transformation, said, "Maybe you can walk us through it from the top."

And God Sighed an immense Sigh, and said, "All right, fine.

"So the way it works is that all of space and time is permeated by a field that has imaginary mass."

And Cambiel said, "Imaginary mass, O Generous Provider?"

And God said, "Yes, imaginary mass. It's tachyonic, d'you see?"

And Sarathiel, the Angel of Discipline, said, "Wait a minute, I thought we agreed nothing was going to travel faster than light? All that 'c' business and the whole Lorentz transformation thing. What's happening with that?"

And God said, "Let me finish. The field is tachyonic. The particles in the field all move slower than light."

And Sarathiel had to think about this for a second.

And God said, "The point is, a field with imaginary mass has a non-zero vacuum expectation value."

And this really gave Sarathiel trouble, since he had never been very good at math.

And God, seeing this, went back to explain. "Most fields, like the electromagnetic field, have no effect when they are at their lowest energy state. It's like they're not there at all. If you give a field imaginary mass, then it vanishes only when it's at a very high energy state, and at a low energy state, it has a nonzero value everywhere."

And Sarathiel nodded, but he was confused, because he didn't understand why God would create such a thing.

But Verchiel thought he saw where God was going with this, and he was amazed.

"Truly, you are cunning beyond measure, O Only One Certainly Sound and Genuine in Truth! Only now do I understand your design! For in order to make the universe homogenous and isotropic, it is necessary that all large-scale fluctuations in temperature and mass must be evened out early in the history of the cosmos; and therefore, you have designed a field which will rapidly expand space after the Big Bang, many orders of magnitude in brief moments, and then swiftly and spontaneously decay as it gives up the energy it began with, giving rise to radiation and particles of all kinds as it does, which will condense into the material universe! It is a wonder to behold."

And God said, "What? No. I mean I did, but this isn't the inflaton field I'm talking about. This is something else."

And Verchiel said, "Wait, it's not?"

And God said, "No, I'm going to use a different field to drive cosmic inflation. The properties of this field are totally different."

And now Verchiel was also confused, and lapsed into silence.

And God said, "Like I was saying, this field is a scalar field with imaginary mass, and it does spontaneously decay to a ground state with a non-zero value. But it's not the inflaton field. Instead it combines with the W1, W2, W3, and B bosons."

And Metatron began to flip back through the pages of the Heavenly Record trying to figure out where he'd lost the thread.

And Zephaniel said, "The what bosons?"

And God said, "The W1, W2, W3, and B bosons. I'm sure I mentioned them. You know, the massless bosons?"

And Zephaniel said, "I'm pretty sure we only talked about the W+, W-, and Z0 bosons. All of which you said were going to have mass, O Owner of All Sovereignty."

And God said, "Yes, but this is how they get them, you see. Once this field acquires a nonzero value everywhere, the massless bosons interact with it and get mass. Well, some of them do. They turn into the W+, W-, and Z0 boson. And the photon."

And Zephaniel said, "…and the photon, O Accepter of Invocation?"

And God said, "Well, I did say I was going to unify the electromagnetic force and the weak interaction, didn't I? This is how. Above the critical temperature--right now I'm thinking 10^15 K, but I'm open to feedback on that one--electromagnetism and the weak force act as a single unifying force. Below that temperature, the field gets a nonzero value, you get three massive bosons to mediate the weak interaction, and the photon pops out seperately."

And Zephaniel said, "That seems… a bit overly complicated, doesn't it, O Reinstater Who Brings Back All?"

And God said, "No, it's exactly what we need. Look, that way the W and Z bosons have something to do, but the weak interaction still only travels short distances. Gravity is still the star of the show on cosmic scales, as it were. But now quarks and leptons can swap their flavor!"

And Zephaniel said, rather weakly, "Their… flavor, O Source of Good?"

And God said, "It's this new quantum number I'm trying out, to give the three generations of matter more unique identities."

And Cambiel said, "Three generations of matter? Now I'm really confused."

And God said, "I'm sure I mentioned this. You've got the lightest quarks and leptons, and then two heavier versions of each that can decay into the lighter versions."

And Cambiel said, "What do they do? New kinds of chemistry, is it?"

And God said, "Well, no. Mostly they just decay in a couple microseconds. Or even faster."

And Zephaniel began to rub his temples, and Cambiel sniffed.

And Cambiel said, "This all seems a bit ad hoc to me. Not really the stuff of an elegant and obviously ordered Creation. Why not have four generations of matter? Why not a trillion?"

And God began to grow irritable, and said, "Well, that's not really up to you, now is it? We're going to have three generations of matter, and the electroweak force, and that's that!"

And Zephaniel said, "As long as we are unifying fundamental forces, perhaps we could somehow also unify the electroweak interaction with the strong interaction, or even gravity."

And God hesitated saying, "Well, I haven't decided about that yet. I'm not sure I want gravity to be quantized, you know? Seems to take some of the geometric elegance out of general relativity."

And now it was Zephaniel's turn to sigh, and he bowed his head. "As you wish, O Possessor of Authority of Decisions and Judgement."

[dee-morris]

Crackish Theory

but not really but maybe? Let me work through my thoughts and then you help me decide how serious I am.

I had a Shower Thought today about this ask.

"Never quite as good as he likes to maintain." Neil has also said that Crowley is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his Fall, and we know from the show that his story keeps changing. He sauntered vaguely downwards, he did a million light year freestyle, he only asked questions but he also rode into battle during the War. Hm.

My initial thought was that his memory had been fucked with, and he genuinely doesn't know. And this could still be true, probably is true, but I was scrubbing conditioner of of my eyes this afternoon and just started to wonder if Crowley actually did something Bad to get the boot?

I don't think I've ever seen anyone suggest this before, which is INTERESTING. We've collectively agreed that he's just a sad wet cat who would never hurt anyone, but my niblings in Christ, he turned a bunch of paintball guns into real rifles bc he thought it was funny. (I'm convinced that the only reason he made sure nobody died was the Look Aziraphale gave him.) Muh point izzz, what if he committed an act of sabotage in the course of investigating or poking around or building a suggestion box or whatever he did to get answers that pissed off the Metatron?

Or maybe he was a spy. Remember his Bond fixation? Maybe he worked undercover for Lucifer bc he was promised answers that the Almighty wasn't giving up. Once you let go of the idea that he's just a wee soft boi who only asked questions with big sad Puss in Boots eyes, the possibilities are endless.

As are the fic ideas. I think I've got enough material here to keep me entertained until filming starts, at least.

[gotholdladywithadhd]

Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

[dalliancekay]

"There is no 'our side', Crowley!"

I was looking for this gif and every post I came across was some variation on how poorly was Crowley treated here. Poor boy. How utterly cruel of Aziraphale. How heartless. How he just dropped Crowley like a hot potato. Cos Heaven was coming. And Aziraphale decided that they were over. And he was going back to them. Or something. If you know any that look into how Aziraphale is feeling, please tag me. What do I think Aziraphale is feeling?

Well. Was he happy to have Armageddon coming? No. But he did think it was inevitable.* However. They tried to influence the Antichrist. But had the wrong boy. Then they tried to think of how to find the real one and in that short time - what? Kill him? Talk to him? They had no idea what the kid is like. What powers he has. None.

The Great Plan. It is coming to its fulfilment. It is written. The War is about to begin. Heaven and Hell. The big one. They both know this. And this is not something Aziraphale or Crowley can avoid. It's not something they can just stop believing in. They had their Arrangement, their side (sort of), and they managed not to get caught. But now? Now Aziraphale is right. There is no OUR SIDE. There never really was. There might have been a moment in their existence on Earth (about 12 hundred years?) when they could feel like/pretend they are having their own side. But now the full reality of their existence is back. There are Heaven and Hell and they are preparing for War. They have no interest in Earth. Aziraphale and Crowley are tiny pawns in a very big picture. They both belong to their respective sides. They always have. Even when they found ways to work together. (Mostly cos their sides are conceited idiots both.)

And so Aziraphale decided for one more desperate attempt to get God to see how the whole thing can be avoided. Does he think She might understand? We don't know. Does he look full of hope as he walks back to his shop? He doesn't. He gets broken up with again by Crowley who nonsensically (and yes, romantically, sure) wants to go to another star - to do what? Wait till the end of universe reaches them? (Why is everybody always defending Crowley? And act like he's being reasonable there?) And then Aziraphale gets punched in the stomach. By a fellow angel. And told by Metatron to not be a bloody fool and report for service as the good angel he surely is.

And he gets discorporated. Which looks like it really sucks.

And then he DESERTS the War AND Heaven (that he apparently still has faith in...) and goes on a limb to find the boy and just see if he can come up with something. Anything. Thinking Crowley is gone. Packed his stuff and left. Possibly with the friend he was talking to when he tried to call his flat earlier.

Because Aziraphale feels the War and ending of the world is such injustice. Written or not. Great Plan or not. Maybe he didn't think at first he could make any difference but Crowley showed him it's worth considering it. *Crowley is always showing Aziraphale that things can be questioned. It didn't take Aziraphale long at all to reconsider letting things just play out and instead fight to the last breath he doesn't need, for Earth instead. The conditioning he needs to fight isn't that Heaven is good and right. The conditioning he needs to fight is that things can't be changed. That it is all written out. That he is a nobody and can't influence anything. Aziraphale's biggest fight and learning curve is in having faith in himself. So. Much like he felt it was unfair to leave the first humans unprotected and how he felt killing Job's kids was cruel, he disobeys and does his own thing again. He learns he can. But all this comes at a cost. To himself (thinking he will Fall for these things) but also to his beloved - and THAT is much harder for him. He would never want to put Crowley in danger. And he does. Every time they meet. The guilt he must feel for this.

Aziraphale lives between two sides. And they are both awful. And he is often misunderstood for just acknowledging this as reality he and everything else exists in.

I think his view of his reality is pretty accurate. There is no our side. They wanted one. But they can't leave their sides. Even after S1 they couldn't. Not really. And they both knew it. And no, he is not in clutches of Heaven or sometimes reverts to their indoctrination or anything like that. He goes along with Heaven as far as he MUST. And his life alongside his demon, however tentative, was always precious to him. But.

Crowley who showed him how to keep questioning things, try to make them better, didn't see it his way and left.

Aziraphale has to do the best he can and just do something. Anything. He can not just do nothing. He can not try and run. Or hide. Or wait some more. Crowley showed him that things can be different and Aziraphale had to do all to try and make it better. And he will. And Crowley will help. He always does.

Is Aziraphale always right? No. Does he make mistakes? Yes. I am never saying Aziraphale is faultless - but I think many things he is blamed for are not right. And I also think Crowley is often seen as can do no wrong. Everything he says is right. 100% correct. The right things to do. He knows more. Understands more. If he disagrees with Aziraphale than it follows that Aziraphale is wrong. That's not true. They are both beautifully rounded, full, flawed characters I love. They complement each other in ways I bet I have not even noticed yet. And they are their own beings too. They don't only exist for one another.

[hattersarts]

gomens s2 thoughts, all spoilers!

I spent 10 hours talking to my housemate about the season after we binged the whole thing in the morning but here are the highlights and the biggest takeaways from the season.

okay i did love the ending, i love that we get the conformation of love AND going into the divorce arc next season (if they're not properly together by the end of season 3 however, i am rioting) they're slow burn and a whole season of them getting to the final 10mins was tasty.

HOWEVER. it was an extremely clunky season when it comes to writing, lots of either set ups missed OR set ups repeated 4 times that they're drilled into out heads. there was also lots of dialogue that really needed to be tightened up. the lesbians were so poorly written i thought they might have needed to be cut BUT they just needed to have more bearing on the rest of the plot AND say things like real people would say things and LITERALLY SHOW ONE SINGLE REASON WHY THEY WOULD LIKE EACH OTHER WITHIN THE FIRST EPISODE.

gabe/bulz romance was the one that should have been cut, have them do more of a oh-my-god-my-boss-sucks kind of thing, lean into them complaining about having to avert a civil war after armageddon stopped and touch on the "structural problems" the angels mention later. Have gabe/bulz be super punished for working together which puts huge fear into az and crowley about what happens if you try to team up as an angel/demon pair (but an extra reason why az takes the job at the end so he and crowley can be the same)

imo it works more if the only mirror of their romance is the HUMANS which should lean into themes to season 3 of how they need to team up with humans (re:"us vs them" line at the end of season 1) to actually achieve their happy ending.

Nina and maggies best scene was their last one telling crowley he needed to talk to az but i think that was one that needed to be cut, it would have been far more satisfying to have crowely work out it out himself that he loves az and wants to tell him (still via maggie and nina but more subtle rather than them telling him to his face AND via spending more time with az in the season)

flashbacks were all pretty good, loved the jobe one and that final "lonely" scene. the nazi one needed some trimming the most (why did all three come back to earth, it made scenes too crowed, have them fight to be a zombie)

shax was disappointing, she was kind of just incompetent the whole way through which didnt make the stakes very exciting, (that whole scene of her talking to the legion was unfunny and pointless) i wanted crowley to mentor her more like when he gave her advice in the first few meetings we saw (kind of in a very non-demonic way, not expecting anything in return) and her to then meet him on equal footing in the finale. would have been a little accidental taste for Crowley to have his good deeds come back to haunt him while showing he's different to demons.

speaking of the finale fight, that halo had NO set up, it was sick as hell but ??? the fuck did that come from. the fight should have been won by az and crowley performing another HUGE miracle together, discorporating the demons (which then would alert heaven and hell something was up in the bookshop and the final scene can happen)

az taking the job from metatron was very good, its consistent with his character where he still hasn't let go of his faith in good/god, he's only been upset by the angels running heaven and still has faith in the system while crowley has realised none of it works and it's only them together that matters. it was nice to show he still hasn't truly accepted crowley for who he is now (tho imo he knows he loves him, he just hasn't quite unrepressed himself) and him not turning down the job after crowley confesses to him shows he still thinks he can fix it. Crowley on the other hand thinks he's now lost him, az has broken he the trust he had in him, he's going to be in big depression mode

few thoughts of good directions for S3:

finally delivering on what crowley said at the end of S1 I think is the most satisfying. the final showdown should be humans Vs heaven/hell with Crowley and az on the human side, helping them win the conflict. there would be suggestions that this is actually god's ineffable plan, this is a conflict she wants to happen and the things that Crowley and az went through are what make them perfect ambassadors to help the humans.

the set up for az in S3 to finally work out he and Crowley can't work out within the unfair rules of the system and for him to abandon heaven (tho not I think, becoming a demon) is good. a sucky ending imo for season 3 is if az somehow "fixes" heaven and via bureaucracy and not via blowing it all up.

growth moments for Crowley in S3 might be having more contact with humans since he's already abandoned hell and it would put az & crowley on similar footing (as az very much loves humans already) when they decided to side with humans for a humans Vs heaven/hell conflict.

anyway, gay people

[tonydaddingham]

look i know that this is not a new revelation but i want to draw attention to the fact that at the bandstand - when crowley was screaming literal blasphemy - aziraphale was not looking up. he was not in fear of god, but in fear of whomever could be strolling around the park - taking a jog or tending the gardens - that could overhear.

granted, this was before aziraphale trying to speed-dial god and try to get her to intervene, but a good portion of his fear has always been rooted in what heaven could do. what heaven probably would do.

on the lookout, vigilant and twitchy, and whilst that may be in the interest of aziraphale's own safety at being not only seen in company with a demon conspiring to thwart said Great Plan, but also hearing it without challenge... i imagine it would be a smidge in fear of what heaven would do to that demon in the process. they're nothing to heaven, the lowest of the low and at best a means to an end. if they came to haul away aziraphale, what on god's green earth would they do to crowley without a second thought? actually, no, let's not be silly; heaven wouldn't bother - what would hell do?

he knows what: 1941 proved that. 1827 proved that. and as would be shown to him directly later that day, after the bandstand - the abduction and subsequent bathtub trial in hell proved that too.

so then take aziraphale's behaviour here (and throughout the whole segment):

im not personally of the mind that aziraphale was deliberately hurting/manipulating crowley in order to protect him. at the bandstand? maybe. maybe out of (understandable) self-preservation, but also to protect crowley. but the final fifteen? aziraphale was - to his mind - being given the opportunity to protect crowley from within, in a position where he had the confidence, or at least the optimism, that nothing could happen to him.

he had to go, had to take the chance to change heaven so they, and anyone else, could be truly free. and if he could take crowley with him? out of the reach of hell, and equally so close to him that heaven wouldn't dare? of course he would offer what he did.

in any eventuality, the very likely notion remains, from aziraphale's perspective, that there is a very real threat from heaven. it may not have been overt, it may not have even been vaguely hinted at by the metatron, but aziraphale has never lost sight that heaven is dangerous. and they are lurking in disguise in the bushes, just as they are watching from just outside the door.

[another-lost-mc]

(Fallen) Angels Round Table Discussion: Fashion

Featuring: A mixed bag of canon and OC angels and some of their fallen brethren.

"So, honest question - who comes up with these outfit designs?"

GABRIEL: Most angels meet with someone from the tailoring guild and they can request what sorts of clothing they'd like.

SERAPHIEL: Clothing is also a popular gift for angels that pass their ascension trials.

"Does hierarchy or rank have anything to do with the types of clothes angels are allowed to wear?"

SIMEON: Not really. It mostly boils down to preference. Certain styles are more practical than others too. For example, most of the warriors choose not to wear robes on a daily basis. I only wear mine for very special occasions.

METATRON: Michael and Lucifer couldn't be more different style-wise and they were both Seraphs.

MICHAEL: I designed a new outfit for Lucifer that was a little bit more...relaxed...but he wouldn't wear it. Asmodeus even helped with it.

LUCIFER: That’s exactly why I refused. You show enough skin for both of us.

"Now that you mention it, is there a practical reason for designing tight clothes with, um, decorative cut-outs?"

RAPHAEL: It helps us stay cool and prevent heat sickness during our hottest season.

HABUHIAH: Loose clothing isn't comfortable to wear underneath armor.

RAPHAEL: I don't think that's much of a concern anymore.

HABUHIAH: You have more faith than I do when it comes to certain demons.

BELIAL: Are you still upset about our little scuffle in the human world? It's been nearly five-thousand years.

URIEL: You mean the pointless war that you started?

BELIAL: It was actually very profitable.

URIEL: You're the worst.

GABRIEL: Shh, darling. Just pretend he's not here.

BELIAL: That's not very nice, Gabe. You haven't missed me even a teeny-tiny bit?

HABUHIAH: You can't be serious.

METATRON: If we have time later, I'd love to talk to you about your involvement in that skirmish. The official records we have aren't very detailed.

BELIAL: Say no more! I'd be delighted to stay as long as necessary and—

GABRIEL: Absolutely not.

"So, back to the whole why angelic clothing is so revealing thing...?”

SERAPHIEL: Right. Well, from a utility point of view, form-fitted clothes usually work best because you still want to be able to move your body freely without any restrictions. Wearing something flimsy like a cloak is a potential disaster too, at least if you're in a fight.

RAPHAEL: Michael learned that the hard way.

URIEL: The younglings were in the garden and got a firsthand demonstration about combat safety so at least something good came from it.

MICHAEL: You set your cloak on fire by accident one time and your friends never let you forget it.

RAPHAEL: That was an accident? I thought you did it on purpose to get out of training that day.

SIMEON: The point is, a lot of those considerations aren't as important as they used to be. Now we simply wear what we like.

AZRA: Are we going to gloss over the other very important reason? That some of us just wanted to look good?

LUCIFER: Riveting input from our resident incubus.

HABUHIAH: What's that gesture Azazel is making with his hand?

SERAPHIEL: I'm not sure, but judging by Lucifer's expression it's probably not nice.

MICHAEL: Their demonic forms are much more impressive than the photos I've seen on Devilgram.

RAPHAEL: Should we try to stop them?

SIMEON: It's more entertaining if we don't.

METATRON: But I don't want anyone to get hurt.

URIEL: Wait, why is Belial fighting now too?

SERAPHIEL: He's upset that his suit got scorched when one of their wayward spells hit him by accident.

GABRIEL: I hope you're pleased with yourself since this was all your idea, Michael. But I have to admit, I expected much worse.

MICHAEL: See, I told you not to worry. It's just like old times!

A/N: Here's something silly that helped distract me from real life stuff that's kept me busy lately. This vaguely incorporates some Celestial Realm headcanons/worldbuilding, and to be honest, I just wanted to throw these characters into a room and see what happened. (Chaos. Chaos happened.)

[bardraelyn]

Were the Fallen cast out because they were illiterate?

Ok, big angry thinky meta below. Something just clicked in my head this afternoon, and I had to have a bit of a rant about it.

It was the word "ineffable" that triggered it.

I was thinking about how most demons can’t spell—canonically. It’s not just Shax. The guidebook on angels that Furfur carried has a ton of errors, both in the actual text and in the handwritten annotations. And if they can't spell, it seems likely they also can’t read well, either. Furfur sure struggled with it, and he’s usually on tasks that require a ton of paperwork.

Angels, on the other hand, don't seem to have that problem—the ones that are still in Heaven, that is. (Also, neither does Crowley, but we'll come back to that.)

So, what, did God make a bunch of angels with reading, writing, and/or language difficulties, who presumably had trouble with written directions, and then cast them out of Heaven because they couldn’t understand Her plan?

“Nope, too many questions. Out you go!”

God's great big plan is supposed to be ineffable, right? As in, “too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words”?

Well, who the fuck told everyone it was? The Metatron? The so-called “Voice of God” who is, as we’ve all seen, rather a bit of an asshole?

And are we to take that literally, as in unable to be expressed in any words at all (written or spoken), or is the implication that it simply can't be codified into written language?

If it was the Metatron who called it God's plan ineffable, did he say that because he didn’t want to bother explaining parts of it to a bunch of struggling angels?

"Oh, you can't read it because it's ineffable! It can't really be put into words, so that's the closest approximation of what you're meant to know. Just do your best, and stop asking so many questions!"

Or did he decide it was ineffable because he couldn’t understand it?

He was so condescending toward Muriel about reading a book. Is he masking a disability (and barely hiding some jealous rage) with that holier/smarter-than-thou facade? Is that why he called them "dim"?

He's clearly a bully, which strongly suggests he's insecure, so what are the odds that he's been hiding the written directives from God and started giving "Her" orders verbally instead (declaring himself the "Voice of God" in the process) in order to hide his literacy issues from the other Archangels?

Has he been making up the rules all along? Are the Heavenly Host and their Opposition fucking up God’s actual plan for the universe without even knowing it because the Metatron can’t fucking read?

Did God cast out the Fallen angels, or did the Metatron cast them out to feel better about himself?

Are the legions of Hell mostly made up of illiterate angels, mixed with a few other angels who hung out with them and perhaps even tried to help those who were struggling (just like the big ol’ softy that Crowley happens to be would have done, once he realized the unfairness of their position)?

And what about that Rebellion?

Did Lucifer take advantage of the struggling angels, or was he acting on their behalf, like a parent who takes on the school board when the principal and teachers won't abide by the special needs students' individual education plans*?

If it's the latter, where is/was God in this system?

__________

* Probably took advantage, let's be real. Hell is not a nice place. But maybe he's just a very overwhelmed, frustrated, and rather crappy parental figure who had a breakdown and left the kids to run amok, and they all went Lord of the Flies on him. Who knows? We really have only Crowley's word and the fight with Adam to base our deductions on.

[mariikado]

Good Omens 2 and mistaken identity.

And don't show this to Neil! And don't ask him about it!

Carefully! There may be spoilers here.

We know from the first season that if the characters switch bodies, a secret sign can be found somewhere. This sign will indicate who we are actually seeing.

The collar on Crowley's jacket indicates that it is in fact Aziraphale.

And now the big mystery of the second season. This is a real "The Clue". Who is who really?

1. I'll start with Shax and her adorable glasses that don't belong to her at all.

2. In the next episode, Aziraphale is in a Bentley listening to «Moonlight Serenade» by Glen Miller & his orchestra, "a very modern tune from 1939." It was this tune that was playing in Doctor Who when the Doctor and Rose found themselves in 1941. Shax gets into the car and says:

Is Shax replacing him now or is she replacing him in some other story? Maybe in 1941. The melody in the Bentley seems to smoothly mix up time. And 1941 may turn out to be part of the future, but placed in the past.

3. Next we are shown 1941. We are transported to Hell and see Shax with an adorable snake on his belt. Who is this Shax?

Read about the demon Shax. A very interesting demon: he knows how to drive you crazy, steals things, maybe even jewelry, maybe even royal ones.

Come to think of it, we learned some very interesting things about Jane Austen earlier: she transported alcohol (like Crowley in 1941), planned a diamond heist (Shax's specialty). So where exactly is Shax in episode four and where is Crowley? What if someone had swapped Shax and Crowley in this part of the story? Remember that the episode is called "The Hitchhiker" (And watch a movie with that title). And Shax was that hitchhiker, so she should be the main character in episode four.

4. Let's move on. Someone very similar to Shax is negotiating something with Furfur and then we see Furfur with a snake tongue. The same question to Furfur: who are you really and what do you really look like?

Read about the demon Furfur. His ability to create storms and bring lovers together is enchanting. So who's really making it rain for Nina and Maggie? So, the deer is the symbol of Furfur. Neil had one fun special spoiler involving the deer and Crowley. Find him, it's very funny.

5. Next we will have a deadly trick with catching a bullet. Aziraphale wears an adorable snake print vest. So what does Aziraphale actually look like or who is Aziraphale in this scene?

Could there be another change of faces before the focus? What if Aziraphale was actually sitting in the audience?

By the way, up to this point in history, faces could also change more than once. Shax's mirror haunted me. There is one angel depicted with a mirror. What's his name? Oh yeah. Gabriel.

6. And after the trick, the guys sit, drink wine and Crowley pronounces his words as if he had already said them before. So who is Crowley?

What happens in the dressing room behind the scenes while we see Aziraphale, and the wall behind him slowly floats (episode 4, 35:03, see for yourself). And could there be another change of faces at this stage?

Let me summarize a bit. My personal view on the situation. Just imagine that Shax is actually Gabriel (we don't know what happened to him after Aziraphale's failed execution). Perhaps he is the same supreme archangel who was sent to hell (Metatron talks about this). Gabriel switches places with Crowley (I doubt that this happened by mutual desire). So Aziraphale goes to the theater with Gabriel and Crowley talks with Furfur in Hell. Then, it seems to me, Furfur becomes Crowley (and not vice versa) and comes to the theater in the image of Crowley. By this time, on the theater stage, Gabriel is already wearing a snake vest, and Aziraphale looks like Crowley and is sitting in the audience. Then in the dressing room, Furfur, who looks like Crowley, switches places with a character who looks like Crowley, but is actually Aziraphale.

The biggest question is: did Furfur know who he was switching places with? Whose team does Furfur play for? And who really is Furfur himself? Have you read about Azazel yet? Furfur says he never met Job (I'm a demon, I lied...) Think about that too.

In fact, Aziraphale and Furfur may be similar to Gabriel. Perhaps in Season 3 the outer shell of the characters will play a role, but at this stage I would like to just understand the souls. And all this works well only on the condition that Aziraphale and Crowley have not swapped places. And if at some point they do change for some reason, then everything becomes even more confusing. Because if Crowley and Aziraphale swapped places even earlier, before the events of the focus (ignore the fact that this is 1941, it may not be him, just as 1827 may be a different time), then Shax in Hell is Aziraphale, and Aziraphale in 1941 - Crowley. It's all very confusing, but that's how it should be. The story was deliberately confused so that no one could get to the bottom of the truth.

To be continued. Part 2.

[251-dmr]

I know someone who looks like you.

Good Omens Faces & Names, Labels & Identities

One theme that I see running fairly strongly through S2 is the idea of identity.

I'll start with Nina and Maggie precisely because they chose to use the actresses' real names as their characters' names. I'm sure the actresses are back because they are respected and liked, but it also works to serve a purpose. That of emphasizing identity. Who someone is beneath the outward appearance. And maybe to get us to slow down and question our assumptions about someone when we see their face.

It's Nina Sosanya, the actress. But also Nina, the coffee shop owner. And, Satanic Sister Mary Loquacious and Mary Hodges, Tadfield Manor owner.

It's Maggie Service, the actress. But also, Maggie, the record shop owner. And "Skinny Latte". And Satanic Sister Mary Garrulous.

Is it Madame Tracy or Shax? Is it Shakespeare or Furfur?

With Gabriel we have Jim, James, and of course "Supreme Archangel".

Aziraphale is "Angel", Mr Fell, Mr McFell, Mr Wherever-He-Is and your partner. Even "Hey you!" from Gabriel.

Crowley is Crawley, Anthony J Crowley, [Mr] Six Shots of Espresso, [Mr] Struck By Lightning, Mr Crowley. And, from the Metatron, Demon.

Did I miss any other nicknames for our characters? Let me know in the comments.

By comparison, we have Beezelbub, same name and same being inside, but with a different face. Interestingly, Crowley knew it was Beez and simply noticed the different outward appearance. But Gabriel did not immediately recognize the new face as being the someone he knew.

Some of this may seem a bit so what? It's a show, so of course the actors are not the same as the characters. But how many viewers, upon realizing that Nina and Maggie were also in S1, upon recognizing that Shax looked like Madame Tracy from S1, thought that maybe they were still the characters they were from S1, even if only for just a moment? Because they had the same face. Because they looked like someone we knew.

Returning to Gabriel. Or Jim. But he's actually both, at least in my opinion. I think Jim was always in there, but smothered by Gabriel The Supreme Archangel. And by setting aside the memories of how he behaved as the Supreme Archangel, we get to see the nice angel that he used to be, or could be.

I take all this as a warning to be careful with my assumptions about who's who based only on seeing their face.

Now this is the part where I veer off into my own theory-land with all of this. I currently still hold the shared-soul theory because I haven't seen anything to outright debunk it. The theory that a part of Crowley has gone up to heaven within Aziraphale. This is where I think the edges have been blurred and the face we see in the elevator, riding up to heaven with The Metatron, looks like Aziraphale, but there's more inside than just Aziraphale.

[badaziraphaletakes]

I'm pretty sure it was *checks notes* the Metatron who ruined everything and did this to Crowley and the fandom.

But by all means let's blame everything on the angel who has repeatedly risked his life to try to stop him and is now going back to heaven to try to bring about a universe where he and Crowley can be safe together.

Also, hasn't the fandom repeatedly been over the fact that the apology dance is not an adequate substitute for real, open, healthy conversation and really shouldn't be used in serious situations where there are genuine hurt feelings happening?

[beebopboom]

If Gabriel can leave Heaven and be with Beelzebub, why can’t Aziraphale do the same with Crowley?

That’s a general question right? Something along those lines? How Gabriel did the “good” thing and how Aziraphale did the “bad” one, yeah?

Well I have a few thoughts on this so let’s go through it real quick on why Gabriel could and why it shouldn’t immediately be equated as the “good” choice - especially in comparison with Aziraphale’s

Also none of this is a slight against Gabriel/Beelzebub - it’s just a different relationship, different circumstances.

and this is just my interpretation obviously so yeah - do with it what you will

ok actual rant time go-

Gabriel and Beelzebub meeting how they did would not have happened without Armageddon being adverted.

They would have been on opposite sides of the battlefield but instead they ended up actually talking and in the process finding someone they could relate to. Their spark had been ignited and they continued to flame it.

To put it simply-

Gabriel and Beelzebub’s relationship is that of one between an Angel and a Demon. Aziraphale and Crowley’s is a relationship between two beings that happen to be an Angel and a Demon.

And that is a very big difference

Gabriel and Beelzebub are each other’s Heaven and Hell - they said so themselves. They may not be choosing sides but those two are the only ones they see, Heaven vs. Hell.

Even at the very end of every thing they are still an Angel and Demon - and in the case of Gabriel at least still holds those same opinions of the other side with the exception of Beelzebub of course

They don’t really see the third side that Aziraphale and Crowley have placed themselves on - they don’t have that connection to humanity not really.

For most of their existence pretty much every interaction with humans has been strictly professional and by the book. Sure Gabriel likes the clothes and his statue - and they have their song but that’s it.

They don’t have that history - that need to do the right thing by humanity not just themselves. As long as they got to be together they could care less about the rest of it.

Earth just happened to be the place they met up as it was the easiest. Not moving forward with Armageddon was not in the interests of keeping humanity around - it was in the interests of this being the place where they meet up and hey it has some vaguely interesting things about it - nothing has to change for them if they keep it around

Also they are both coming from very high positions of power on their respective sides - positions that are hard to touch. They are the ones making decisions and ordering people about. They were the ones to play judge and executioner. 

No one in that bookshop at that moment was really in the position to stop them from leaving. The one being that really had that power, The Metatron, came later and really just benefited from all this.

and The Fear that is ever present throughout Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship is barely there for Gabriel and Beelzebub really.

Heaven and Hell’s relationship particularly between the higher ups is so fascinating. The “backchannels” are practically an open secret and getting the other side to do their bidding is a running trend.

What did Gabriel and Beelzebub have to fear? Any meet up they were caught at could very easily be explained away. And honestly both sides have been fumbling trying to come up with plans - they weren’t paying attention.

At no point in his trial does Gabriel look nervous - he is very nonchalant about the whole thing because it’s whatever, they had a plan in place for this. He is no longer obligated to hold his position of power and oh? they aren’t going to send him to hell? welp he’s still leaving anyway.

Him leaving was just not acknowledging the problem, the system. He didn’t benefit from it anymore as he found something better, Beelzebub. So what was the point of staying and being demoted when he could just leave?

And the biggest and most important thing about all of this is-

They weren’t the first

no no no that goes to Aziraphale and Crowley.

Making choices and picking sides - things they were not made to do

6000 years of hiding their friendship - thousands of years spent worrying about being watched, about the other being hurt - thousands of years of living among humanity somewhat doing their jobs, mainly just enjoying being there and interfering where they could.

They didn’t get the privilege of knowing the loopholes between the two establishments so they made their own

Coming up with guidelines and routines so they weren’t discovered - that were then shattered after they helped advert Armageddon and were discovered.

and when they survived execution no one knew what they were - they had gone native

Completely intertwined with history and the fate of humanity - Earth was their home

They became each other’s World

they protected each other from Death

but all those routines and structures going away is jarring - difficult to work through

they are each their own character - with their own way of processing and doing things - thrust into a space that they may have wanted but never truly thought they would get. This is all a lot

All the things that Aziraphale has had to deal with are things that have never even crossed Gabriel’s mind - the guilt, the doubt, the uncertainty

4 years is not a lot of time to work through that really - not to them (not to anyone really)

4 years where they both knew it wasn’t over for them, for humanity - that eventually there was going to be another Big Event.

Fear that has never went away for either of them.

this is not a case of “oh Aziraphale and Crowley had over six thousand years to work on their relationship and failed, yet Gabriel and Beelzebub were able to work it out in four”

this is “they both had four years - Aziraphale and Crowley just had an added six thousand years of fear and repression to dig through”

Aziraphale went back to Heaven because everything is at a higher stake for him than it has been or will ever be for Gabriel - Gabriel gets the trial and Aziraphale gets the execution

Because the thing about Aziraphale is he cares - he cares so much about the future of humanity and his own future - which is not a bad thing

If there is two things to never doubt about Aziraphale it is his love for humanity and Crowley

But there was no choice in The Metatron’s “offer”however it was an opportunity

and he has just been “offered” the same position he just seen the previous holder get to go off together with his demon partner and no punishment.

Aziraphale knows what “big plans” means for Heaven, even if he didn’t know exactly what it was - he’s been on Earth watching them play out for 6000 years.

His goal up there is not whatever these big plans are the Metatron was talking about - he is going up there to change it (and is that such a bad thing? I mean we saw how he was with Muriel)

He is making the best out of getting backed into a corner - unfortunately it resulted in both of them him getting hurt in the process

but if there is one thing to take away from their last look is that although they may be hurt there, there is understanding and trust - and love between them

Going off was what Gabriel wanted and Going back was never Aziraphale’s choice to make.

so can they really be compared as the right and wrong when the circumstances around the situations were vastly different?

————————————————————————

ok I ran out of steam towards the end there and it might be a little incoherent but have a fun little headcanon to make up for it

you cannot convince me otherwise that Gabriel and Beelzebub don’t bitch about Aziraphale and Crowley - at the very least one of their meeting was just dedicated to bitching about the two of them

[lineffability]

some thoughts on Aziraphale, the Metatron and performances

i do think we're maybe all underestimating aziraphale just a bit when it comes to the whole 'happy in heaven, let's go and do good' spiel. i DO think he believes in some fundamental goodness in heaven despite all their obvious, glaring moral failings and problems, and i DO believe he wants crowley with him more than anything (and, misguidedly, that a part of crowley would want to go back)

BUT i also think that there is a lot more going on underneath the surface. he might wear his heart on his sleeve most of the time but we have seen that when it counts he can be really really good at magic tricks (makes that flashback all the more relevant, too), at repressing his true feelings, at building walls around himself and hiding behind a facade of smiles and optimism.

the Metatron might not be the only one performing; him and Aziraphale are certainly both on edge. think of the coffee scene, az being overwhelmed and reluctant, he is not necessarily buying the Nice Old Man act--but he is not sure about it being fake, either. maybe the metatron is nice, he can't tell, he is overwhelmed and accepts the coffee. he wants to believe that this Very High Being, the voice of god, is good. if he isn't--what then? his beliefs have been crumbling around him already, and he is scared. and then meta removes him from the bookshop, from crowley, and they talk.

Az is extremely flustered when he tries to tell crowley about the metatron's offer, a bit too much--coupled with off-the-charts-nervosity and the glimpses of Expressions of Dread on his face when he turns away from Metatrash before he goes back into the bookshop to talk to crowley, i'm starting to be quite sure that the very obvious threat lingering underneath metatron's words did not go unnoticed at all; he saw the nice kind old man smile but he heard him saying "i've gone back over your exploits", i know exactly what you've been doing these millenia, you can fool the archangels but you can't fool me, i have access to Time/History/Reality in a different way. i know everything you did. and then the threat about not allowing the two of them to work togther anymore in the future, if he stays on earth. i think aziraphale knows right then and there that he has no choice at all. (this is why he so desperately wants crowley to come with him, because he can't stay) (i do believe that he truly thinks, though, that they would let crowley back into heaven-- which i think was a total ruse, a complete lie based on the knowledge that crowley would not accept the offer)

and he knows that metatron is just outside the bookshop, waiting. now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying he acted the whole thing, the conversation he and crowley had was very real, because az was counting on crowley to come with him--because if one thing has been true over all these milennia, it's that crowley always caves in. no matter what, he comes back, he apologizes, he refuses first and accepts finally, he stays by his side, he would never leave aziraphale. right?

in this moment az needs to believe two things: 1 crowley will come with him and 2 he can do Good in heaven, they can change things together. and this is not only naiveté (though to some extent it surely is) but calculation, as well. i can't get out of this. my only choice is to rejoin heaven and play along. maybe if i'm there, if i have a seat at the divine table and can learn about heaven's plans, maybe i can thwart them, if need be. i do think az is not going in blindly, i do think he knows to some extent what awaits him, but he also truly believes that maybe he can alter things, in some way (he could, surely, with crowley. crowley always has the best ideas. i need you. )

but when crowley refuses he can't tell him there is something bad going on. i need to do this, even if i dont want to. they are not alone. he can only say i need you with me. please. but crowley is in too much pain, he feels betrayed, because he did not hear come with me but to heaven, and the shock of it runs deep

so az IS also heartbrken and angry and betrayed. and then, after the Revelation, in shock. the journey on his face was longer than the ride up to heaven jfc. and then it settles on a smile that does not reach his eyes. oh, he's really in it now. he contains multitudes and paradoxes aghhhh but yeah tl;dr aziraphale loves to be a happy trusting ray of sunshine because he chooses to be, but he is not stupid. he's doing the best he can.

there will be a second coming not only for jesus 2.0 but for his and crowley's relationship as well!! let's believe in him!!! im disinegrating i need to stop now

[dee-morris]

I Think We Moved on Too Quickly from Coffee Theory

Yeah yeah I know. But hear me out.

When I watched the season two finale the first time, I felt blindsided by it. From a narrative perspective it made sense, bc Neil Gaiman said that he needed to set up the situation that would make season three possible and okay yeah, that probably meant putting Crowley and Aziraphale in weird and different places. I got that. But from a character perspective it felt like a huge reversal from Aziraphale's behavior throughout season two, and of course that led me to look for outside factors that could have caused it.

After talking about it with Internet friends, reading lots of metas, thinking and discussing and watching the season over again, I decided that it wasn't necessary to believe that Aziraphale had been drugged. Most of what he said and did could be explained by careful study and analysis. Once you realize that Metabitch's presence in the bookshop is a veiled threat, everything else falls into place.

Nevertheless.

I definitely DO NOT Believe that Aziraphale was brainwashed or mind controlled by the coffee. His behavior during the Final Fifteen was frenetic, desperate, little bit manic. Definitely not the behavior of a mindless zombie. But nevertheless.

I still think that there was too much emphasis on the coffee for it to be a simple prop. Is it a literal macguffin or a symbolic one, that I'm not sure. I could see it either way. It might be just a symbol of the Sophie's Choice that Aziraphale had been presented with, or... There might have actually been something in the coffee.

The show makes a point of telling us that celestials can be affected by human poison. Almonds are symbolic in the Bible, and cyanide smells like almonds. Again, Aziraphale's behavior at the breakup scene was not that of a brainwashed person, but what if the Metatron TRIED something like that and it didn't completely work?

Aziraphale didn't want to follow the Metatron until after he drank the coffee. And even then he turned and looked at Crowley, and he didn't move until Crowley told him to go ahead. (Cue the Breaking Bad Walter Screaming in the Car meme) What if whatever the Metatron tried on Aziraphale only kind of worked? Just enough to make Aziraphale a bit dizzy and suggestible, but being close to Crowley mitigated the worst of it. That's why Metatrash needed to separate them.

Aziraphale is very clever, and if he knew he'd been drugged he would also know better than to let on that it hadn't worked completely. Cue the weird off-key phrases that are ALMOST in character but still pretty damn weird. "Heaven is the side of goodness, of light" my dude has NEVER said anything like that. He's said that about God, yes, but he's always held a distinction between God and heaven. Or "you're the bad guys" that's just WEIRD, that's a weird thing for him to say, and I will die on this hill. Even during their worst fights Aziraphale has made distinctions been himself and Crowley in terms of their job descriptions, but he's never made a moral judgement like that before, nor has he ever lumped Crowley in with the rest of hell. "They're the bad guys," now that would have made sense, and if it were anyone but Neil Gaiman running this shit I would think that it was a simple scripting error. But Neil doesn't make mistakes like that.

So Aziraphale plays along and tried desperately to communicate with Crowley that something IS VERY WRONG but our favorite disaster demon picks NOW to get in his feelings and ignore the clear and present danger standing outside the bookshop and staring at them. I'm pretty sure "I forgive you" is Aziraphalese for ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

Again, I don't need my version of Coffee Theory to be real to understand what happened in the Final Fifteen, but it's just an interesting little toy to roll around in my head. There's so much emphasis on that coffee in the show and even in the episode synopsis, I still think there's something about it that we haven't been told.

[cassandralie]

Muriel, the Dimmest Little Morningstar

Maybe the question isn't "was Crowley Lucifer?" but who else was also Lucifer? After all, there was more than one Morningstar

or, as Crowley put it more casually,

he doesn't remember them, of course, probably due to Book of Life fuckery, just like he doesn't remember Fufur and Saraquel, who were also probably in the Morningstar Legion (that or the rebels called themselves Morningstars).

Which is why he also doesn't remember Muriel and Muriel also doesn't remember him. Both of them had their memories altered by the Book of Life*

*Sub Theory: the Book of Life erases who you were, makes it so you never existed... but you don't disappear or die. You become someone new. Hopefully this theory doesn't implode later--yeah, that's right, I made that sub joke instead of the other kind involving um...sandwiches.

But, just like Pepperidge Farms, the Metatron remembers.

he didn't say the "dumb" one, or the "stupid" one. Maybe to be polite. But "dim" isn't very polite either. It's just slightly less on the nose than the "not very bright one", aka the Dimmest Morningstar

But what happened to Muriel and their original memories? The same thing that was going to happen to Gabriel, obviously!

Muriel is basically a junior reporting angel. Sorry, scrivener. A no one and they know it.

Ranked so low they didn't know there was a rank under (which there probably wasn't until the Metatron wanted to punish Gabriel)

whatever Muriel did Before the Fall, whatever their name used to be, the Metatron didn't get rid of them because:

that's right, Neil Gaiman the Metatron will need Muriel for his evil plans, probably involving thee Second Coming and another apocalypse.

maybe to keep them out of the way, or maybe because they have power he's waiting for the right moment to unlock.

But he does make sure it's still locked.

Other people have explained that the book is about pieceing together fragments of the past* Maybe Muriel will remember who they are? Remember who Crowley is? Remember what really happened to cause the War in Heaven, the Fall, all that?

Maybe they will remember just in time to stop the Second Coming and the Second Armageddon--with help from our divorced dads, of course.

(*also a missing uncle - Crowley? A fellow Morningstar.

*also an estranged father with a belief in a higher power - Aziraphale? the Metatron?

*and also an exploded Grandmother - God? Muriel's previous identity?)

For further evidence, please note the star and crown on their helmet and recall "everything is meant" TM

This looks like a former Prince of Heaven, Morningstar Legion to me

And that is my theory :)

(if anyone said this first, sorry! All credit to you!)

Now, I'm no published author and barely anyone reads my fics (but the ones who do are Real Ones-- I love ya'll), so I have zero street cred here, and am probably so off the mark my dart hit the wall instead of the dart board, but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway and see what everyone thinks. Please let me know!

(Bonus Crack Theory: Muriel's original name was Lucy/Luci/Luciel. Combine with Fufur, that would make a Lucifer with bad demon spelling Lucyfur.)