#meta-wise keeps me laughing the entire time

[teecupangel]

I had to replay this section because I didn't get to screenshoot it but...

If you're wondering how Desmond's journey to Faerun is going...

Withers just called him out for not sleeping with anyone when all Desmond wanted to do was have a long rest so someone could replenish their spell slots coughGalecough.

And then this happened!

Sir.

Excuse me.

Sir.

Desmond is trying to remain celibate in this run.

Sir.

Please.

Oh god.

Desmond's not going to stay celibate, is he?

Shoutout to @fanworldbuildingfun for telling me to keep resetting until I get a success on insights for this one.

... yeeaaahhh... Desmond might just end up romancing the dream visitor...

(I'm sorry for the screenshot icon on the topright and Desmond's HP on the bottom left. In my defense, we're pretty much going for a semi no-healing run it seems because i have like 40+ potions and 1 Shadowheart yet their HPs only usually get healed by short rests XD)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 407: Wait Why Are You Running Away

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan figured out how to control his quirk upgrade and was totally chill and normal about it. Definitely not terrifying at all. He actually spent the entire chapter smiling and laughing like the wholesome little boy he is. I don’t know why Kid For One is so freaked out about it. He even politely introduced himself using his childhood nickname. Clearly he just wants to be friends with you, KFO!

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “sorry to keep you waiting, here’s the AFO and Yoichi flashback you ordered at long last” and proceeds to serve a nightmarish stew of HUMAN MISERY and RATS and STABBING and CARNAGE and SO MUCH MURDER and THE SINGLE MOST FUCKED-UP CASE OF CODEPENDENCY ANYONE HAS EVER WRITTEN. I was not even remotely prepared for any of this, and if anyone else claims that they were, I will call you a liar to your face. If this chapter had a mouth it would scream. Or just sob, ceaselessly and uncontrollably. I’m really glad Horikoshi is on break next week because that man needs to take a fucking nap. My god.

okay WOW

anyone else read the first two words and just immediately say to themselves, “oh okay, so it’s gonna be one of those chapters”? I mean, I guess we were due for a darker chapter after last week’s Kacchan Comedy Tour. but idk, I just wasn’t expecting “homeless sick prostitute with a drinking problem” levels of dark

AND SHE’S PREGNANT?!

what exactly is this manga rated again? doesn’t this backstory seem just a little bit raw for the impressionable kiddos??

has anyone actually checked in on Horikoshi recently? you know, just to make sure he is okay??

what a fun and wholesome manga this is

the lil baby arm covered in blood with the AFO hole on the palm. lying next to the dead mom hand. what an image to sear into our minds. I guess it’s been a while since he killed any dogs. gotta keep us on our toes somehow

also wasn’t expecting AFO and Yoichi to be twins! that puts an interesting spin on their relationship, because it’s usually a closer bond than even regular siblings. especially with all of that delightful shared trauma from a young age!!

yes, exactly

ohhhh this chapter is gonna hurt me, isn’t it. okay. ooooooookay. let’s do this

OH I’M SORRY, THERE’S MORE?!

Horikoshi my dude. you do realize that their mom dying in childbirth and the two of them just barely surviving and growing up as street orphans would have already been MORE than tragic enough, backstory-wise. you did not have to turn this into a freaking horror show with RATS TRYING TO EAT THEIR NEWBORN SELVES jesus christ

and THAT’S where you chose to put a one year timeskip?!

what the fuck am I reading here, you guys. no please tell me, I am actually desperate to understand

so the narrator is saying that some of the quirks manifested later in life, in “pubescent and pre-pubescent stages”, which is interesting because it’s the first time I can recall hearing about someone actually manifesting a quirk that late. maybe Deku’s old OFA cover story was more plausible than I realized

anyway so eventually it occurred to everyone that they should maybe freaking study this shit, idk. and eventually the researchers concluded that the superpowers came from a new gene that apparently isn’t human. and upon hearing that, society apparently lost its freaking mind. which is fascinating to me because it implies that the turning point wasn’t actually the superpowers themselves, but the realization of what it meant

like, so they were apparently fine with it when they thought it was a “mysterious disease”, but somehow it hit different when they learned it wasn’t actually a sickness at all, but instead the Next Step in Evolution. and it became an “us vs them” thing, as opposed to a “we have to cure these poor people” thing. damn

anyway so now Japan is a dystopia and we’re cutting to a big crowd of merc-looking dudes who are getting ready to attack some “meta freaks”, how lovely

but who is this figure in the shadows

I ask politely, as if it wasn’t already beyond obvious that this is AFO about to wreck some people’s shit

ohhhhh my god lmao

hopefully Katsuki and Deku can take the present day AFO out before he winds up looking like this. because this little fella is clearly demonic and idk if anyone can stop him

you all don’t understand. you need to run the fuck away right now

oh shit it’s already too late for them

it’s too late for any of us. it’s over. it’s all fucking over

((((；゜Д゜)))

AFO I am putting the manga down. I am backing away slowly with my hands in the air. I mean you no harm. please for the love of god have mercy

holy

“you see, we told you he wasn’t human” okay Scientific Research Group, you know what?? you win this round I guess

“HE WAS LITERALLY EVIL FROM BIRTH” HORIKOSHI SERIOUSLY ARE YOU OKAY??

HE WAS BORN AN ARROGANT BABY is literally the most terrifying sentence I have ever read

what the entire fuck

it’s a gorgeous sunny mid-November afternoon outside my window. but no matter how hard it tries, the light cannot reach this place

what kind of moron would throw a can of soda at him. officially the stupidest person we have ever seen in this manga

OH MY GOD OF COURSE IT’S HIM LMAO

(ETA: how come baby Yoichi has clothes that fit him perfectly but baby AFO is just stomping around wearing a tablecloth.)

BABY YOICHI. OH MY GOD. HOW THE HELL DID YOU GROW UP TO BE SANE AND KIND AND GOOD. THAT’S MY QUESTION THAT I NEED ANSWERED RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE LITERALLY A MIRACLE. YOU ARE AN IMPOSSIBILITY, DO YOU KNOW THAT

small and weak, but also so, so cute. all of the cuteness genes went straight to him. no wonder AFO was jealous

(ETA: just want to press pause for a second to speculate about what type of twins AFO and Yoichi are, since it has some relevance to the story, and especially to the OFA/AFO quirk lore. so! at first glance the two of them would appear to be fraternal twins, just based on the fact that they have very different appearances, and also the fact that Yoichi doesn’t have the AFO quirk – no holes in his hands, etc. identical twins are born from the same fertilized egg, so in theory they would both have the same sequence of DNA, which means Yoichi would have had the same quirk as AFO. but that doesn’t appear to be the case. so all of that points to them being fraternal, not identical.

on the other hand, there is one piece of evidence in this chapter that does support them being identical twins, and that’s the fact that per the narration, AFO absorbed most of the nutrients from their mother. a few minutes of google fu informed me that this condition is relatively rare, and only happens in cases where two twins share a placenta, which typically is only the case for identical twins. HOWEVER, for what it’s worth, there have also been rare instances where two fraternal twin placentas fuse together and become a single placenta. AND this apparently also increases the chances of one of the twins gaining more of the nutrients and causing the other twin to have a lower birth weight.

so based on the evidence here, my conclusion is that the two of them are most likely fraternal twins with a case of placental fusion. besides, you can’t tell me that stealing his baby brother’s placenta while the two of them are literally still in the womb doesn’t sound like exactly the type of BS that fetus!AFO would pull, lol.)

HEY!?!

okay?!?!?! well to be fair he did throw that soda at him

oh my god this is so fucked up. in like the best and worst way possible

I genuinely couldn’t ask for a better AFO backstory. it’s so incredibly twisted, and you actually do feel sorry for him. or at least I do. but it’s also beyond clear that this kid was FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REASON right from the get go. zero goodness in him. literally doesn’t see other people as people. sees them as possessions only. things to rule over. not other thinking, feeling human beings. and that includes his own little brother

but. even if it’s not actually what I would call love, there’s still... attachment, there. it’s the closest he can get to actually caring about someone. guh. just, somehow they have both managed to humanize him, and at the same time made him less human than ever. this manga, man. this fucking manga, though

lmao and here we go. Captain Hero

you know, all those times that I made fun of AFO for not knowing how to read, I never suspected that the twist in his backstory would be that he LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO READ dfksjdlfkjslkdf

but seriously though. because Yoichi appears to be self-taught, and I can’t see AFO having the patience for that, and CLEARLY no one else was around to teach him, sooooo...

oh my goodness it’s actually getting wholesome up in here

what a good fucking boy. poor AFO. fuck me, I can’t help it. it’s not your fault you’re the world’s greatest monster you poor bastard

now we’re cutting to THREE YEARS LATER. okay

is he going to declare war on the glowing baby

typical teenager concerned about nothing but likes and view counts. AFO you would be so much happier if you stopped worrying about all of that and just focused on your own growth

oh, lol. well that was quick

(ETA: r.i.p. Damien.)

“this guy had more instagram followers than me. so I killed him” honey. sweetie pie. you need therapy

omfg

all this time I was wondering who AFO’s middle school lit teacher was who had failed so spectacularly at teaching him reading comprehension. and it was YOICHI ALL ALONG. omg

“and, presumably, that’s how it always was and always will be.” dude. can you imagine listening to AFO’s oral book report on A Tale of Two Cities. “ahem. it was the Best of Times. the end” buddy noooooooo

it was at that moment when Yoichi knew, etc. etc.

oh my GOD I scrolled down to the next panel right after this one and I just IMMEDIATELY DIED LAUGHING

“WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID” ffffffffffffffff I fucking can’t omfg

NOW THIS HUSSY IS STEALING HIS BROTHER AWAY FROM HIM NOOOOOOO

HE’S HIS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!

oh my god the hands. so wait, is this just the standard symbolic BnHA handholding, or are there More Levels To This. when exactly did Yoichi pass OFA on to Kudou. like is that why the sudden close-up and all that? omg

WHAT!!!!

OH THAT’S THE END, HUH? THAT’S THE END RIGHT THERE, AND THAT’S JUST HOW IT IS. I SEE. OKAY THEN. EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT MY LAPTOP DOWN AND GO INTO THE NEXT ROOM AND SCREAM INTO A PILLOW

oh my god. and break next week too. this is what you guys have been dealing with this entire time huh. I understand your feelings now. godfuckingdammit lmao

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

#5: The One With Astruc's Self-Insert

In my introductory post, I said the main inspiration for this blog was @hypocrisyofandrewdobson​. For those who don't know, Andrew Dobson is an infamous webcomic artist known for drawing webcomics that tend to demonize people he's come across in public or people who disagree with him online (either critical of his art or his political views), while portraying himself as the victim or wise man calling them out on their differing beliefs.

If you want to learn more about this guy who I consider to be far worse than Astruc, check out the blog in question. And no, I don't know why he draws himself as a blue bear.

Why am I talking about this? It's one thing for some schmuck on the internet to use his work to respond to criticism, but the creator of a popular animated series dedicating an entire episode to attacking his critics and trying to get others to feel bad for him is another story.

The second episode of Miraculous Ladybug's third season, “Animaestro” served as a wake-up call for fans (myself included) to make them realize how immature Astruc could be. The plot centers around the premiere of a movie about Ladybug and Cat Noir directed by Thomas Astruc, who voices himself in the original French dub.

And this isn't just a brief cameo like what Stan Lee did in the MCU. Astruc is the Akumatized person this episode, so there's naturally a lot of focus on him. Throughout the first half of the episode, Astruc portrays himself as this timid man who nobody recognizes or respects, like this idiot who doesn't know what animation is.

Doorman: This is a private event, sir.

Astruc: Huh? Excuse me? I'm Thomas Astruc, the movie director.

Doorman: You filmed Cat Noir and Ladybug? What are they like in real life?

Astruc: Er, it's an animated movie. It's all cartoon characters. We don't actually film anyone. See, there's this whole team that draw the chara—

Doorman: Whatever. Who would want to see Ladybug and Cat Noir as cartoon characters?

Get it? Wasn't that meta joke hilarious? This is how much I was laughing:

And Astruc continues to get about as much respect as Rodney Dangerfield when he interacts with other characters like Jagged Stone and Chloe.

Jagged Stone: Ladybug is one of my best buds! I can't wait to see her movie!

Astruc: Well I—I'm the director, so actually it's more my movie, so to speak.

Jagged Stone: Oh, so you're the one who created the story?

Astruc: Well, technically the screen writers wrote the story, inspired by Ladybug's exploits.

Jagged Stone: Oh, okay. So you did all the drawings?

Thomas: No, no. The animators do all the drawings.  

Jagged Stone: So what do you do then?

(Later on...)

Chloe: So you're the one responsible for this movie?

Astruc: Yes, yes! Exactly! That's me!

Chloe: Then you were the one who left Queen Bee out of the trailer. You're lame, utterly lame.

I can't believe Astruc had a scene where he interacted with Chloe and didn't insult her at all.

The episode is determined to make the audience feel bad for Astruc. Nobody respects him and what he does. Isn't that saaaaaad? Nobody cares about animated film directors like Walt Disney or Tex Avery anyway. Not even these stupid children understand how hard Astruc works.

Several Children: Ladybug! Where's Ladybug?

Astruc: Hey there, kids!

Teacher: Ladybug isn't here children. We came here to meet the director of the movie. Children: (frowning in disappointment) Aww.

(Astruc looks visibly disappointed.)

Way to insult your primary demographic, Astruc. I thought you said kids have a better understanding of these stories when people criticized the writing of a certain episode (It's that scene in “Puppeteer 2” if you're curious/don't value your sanity).

It's almost like you're using that as an excuse to half-ass your work while still getting to claim this show is so groundbreaking.

In case you can't tell, “Animaestro” is one of those episodes. The ones where the showrunners decide to dedicate an entire episode to attacking critics of the show in a blunt fashion. Whenever a show addresses criticism, they either create an obvious strawman character to parrot the opinions of fans who don't like their work, or have someone defend the show and insult the critics directly.

The problem isn't that they're ignoring criticism. It's their show, and they aren't obligated to listen to critics or fans who don't like the direction the show is taking. On the other hand, they aren't obligated to fight back like this and treat their audience like crap. Any show that does something like the three clips I showed you usually comes off as petty and immature because they dedicate so much time to insulting the critics. 

Even during the Akuma fight, Astruc has to call out Ladybug for having problems with his movie in-universe, obviously representing critics of the show Astruc claims have no right to criticize the show while it's still airing.

Ladybug: What's with that trailer too? I am not scared of cats, at all.

Astruc/Animaestro: You haven't even seen the movie and you're already slamming it?

Cat Noir: He does have a point, you know.

Ladybug: I wasn't slamming it. It's called constructive criticism!

Yeah, how dare Ladybug be angry that this movie is portraying her as a powerless coward dependent on Cat Noir as opposed to a confident and brave superhero. She just doesn't understand the genius of Thomas Astruc!

And of course the character Astruc claims is “perfect” is the one to take his side.

And that's another problem with this episode, the metatextual references. Before he gets akumatized, Astuc says he spent three years of his life working on his movie. I get that time in this show is weird (we somehow had episodes taking place on the first day of school, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and the first day of Summer), but how did Astruc's self-insert work on a movie based on a superhero who has only been active for a year? Meta-wise, it's an obvious reference to the scorn Astruc has gotten from fans after working so hard on his show, but the only people who would get that reference are the ones who are aware of Astruc's reputation online.

Self-Insert aside, I actually think the titular Animaestro is one of the more visually impressive Akumas featured on the show. Animaestro takes on several forms based off several different forms and eras of animation, like flash, anime, rubber hose, and they all stand out. Granted, some of them are obvious parodies of other characters like Goku or Sailor Moon, but the actual Akuma fight is fun to watch. According to the Mexican Miraculous Ladybug Twitter account, this episode took two and a half years to create, and it shows. It's too bad the story behind it is completely insufferable, almost like the cartoon equidistant to Pixels.

But then comes the part that honestly makes the episode worth it, mainly for how unintentionally hilarious it is. Do you want to know what Animaestro's weakness is? Do you really want to know?

Animaestro is physically incapable of moving unless someone is watching him. I am not making this up.

Ladybug and Cat Noir literally defeat Animaestro by getting everyone to stop paying attention to him.

I could make so many jokes with this, but I can guarantee you're already thinking of something just as good, if not better, than whatever I write.

And there's the end where Astruc gives Marinette his ticket to the movie, which prompts Marinette to kiss up to him for no real reason.

Astruc: Sorry, I guess you don't know who I am either.

Marinette: Of course do. You're Thomas Astruc, the movie director!

Astruc: She recognized me. Somebody actually recognized me!

Nothing happened to make her change her opinion on the Ladybug movie, she didn't really say anything to him earlier in the episode that connects to this exchange, and outside of a few lines Animaestro said, she doesn't even know why he got akumatized (even though ironically she and Chloe accidentally contributed to it because of the awful subplot involving Kagami I talked about last time). If anything, it comes off less like she actually appreciates Astruc's work, and more like she's stroking his ego just to keep him from getting akumatized again.

So yeah, this episode is awful, and the fact that it came out right after the controversial “Chameleon” only proved to show what kind of direction the show was taking this season.

But honestly, even if Astruc still wanted to make about how he doesn't get enough respect the episode could have potentially. All he had to do was make a simple change: Instead of making it about validation for Astruc as a creator, make it about validation for animation in general.

It's a common misconception that animation is only used for shows and movies aimed at children, so the episode could reflect it. Instead of the huge turnout where several celebrities appear at the premiere, instead, the turnout could be a lot smaller, with the media dismissing it as some stupid kiddie flick. Instead of getting akumatized because he gets humiliated in public/getting no respect from anyone else, Astruc gets akumatized because he sees the audience didn't go wild for the movie after the premiere. All he can hear them say is that it's just “kids stuff”.

So when Astruc is Animaestro, he goes on about how important animation is. How it's helped produce propaganda since World War II. How it helped improve special effects in big blockbusters. How the medium is used to create movies that simply can't be filmed on a physical set.

After defeating Animaestro, Ladybug shows up to talk to him. She had seen the movie earlier, and actually enjoyed it. She had a few problems with the story, but they were just minor nitpicks and inaccuracies Astruc wouldn't know about, and she was blown away by the animation. She tells Astruc not to be deterred by his critics, and continue to do what he does. As a designer in her civilian life, Ladybug knows the joy creating brings her, and both she and Astruc want to spread that joy through their work.

Back at the premiere, Astruc thinks about what Ladybug said to him when he sees some kids reenacting a scene from the movie. Astruc walks over to them and asks what they thought of the movie. They said they loved it and how energetic it was. When he tells them he is the director, the kids' faces light up and they say they want to do what he does when they grow up, bringing a smile to Astruc's face.

Isn't that a much more humble approach instead of what we got? It would have helped Astruc come across as more sympathetic, especially with animation fans. But instead, we got an entire episode of Astruc whining about how misunderstood he is.

And you know the footage used for the movie at the beginning? Remember that, because I have a huge rant about it saved for a later post.

For now, here’s an example of a creator appearing in his work done right.

[skylarmoon71]

Reverse Flash x Reader- Oneshot (Flash)

Dealing with this yellow suit wearing maniac was not how you thought you’d spend the night. As an ex citizen from Central city, you knew just about every villain that came out of the tragedy of the explosion. Every day a new one seems to arise, and since you liked having all your body parts as they were, you stayed caught up with the news.

That’s why you’d left the place for some much needed peace. 

Rockstone was quiet, and still pretty populated. It wasn’t that far away from Central City either, so you could still visit your family every now and then.

“You seem awfully calm for someone being threatened."

The dark haired male raised his vibrating hand, hoping to urge at least some kind of reaction. After being brought back and wiped from existence so many times, this time around he’d just been looking to have a little fun. Chasing Barry around was starting to get redundant. And then he supposed the hero had his own problems to deal with right about now.

He planned to stay as low key as possible until he could figure out what his next move was. So kidnapping an unsuspecting victim and forcing them to provide him shelter seemed like the best way to go.

“Not gonna lie, scared the shit outta me when you appeared out of that little portal. Really thought I dodged a bullet leaving CC. Just my luck.” you grumble. Sipping at your coffee, you adjusted your bag strap. “Sorry old man, got a job to get to so if you’ll excuse me.” you walk around him. It was already dark, and since you had a night shift at the university today, you really weren’t in the mood for this.

Your hair is taken with the whip of the wind, and it feels like a blink. Drink discarded on the ground, you stare in shock. He has you pinned to the wall, snare on his face, blue eyes emitting so much raw agitation. “I’d advise against mocking me.”

He’s started to vibrate, the red light overtaking his eyes.

“It’s not wise to test me.”

The echoing of his voice would bring any person to their knees in fear. The look in your eyes shifts from shock to annoyance. Your free hand is hanging at the side of your waist. You raise your palm, and he looks down just as a blue light shoots out. He’s gone once again, obviously not anticipating this. No longer forced up on the wall, you shrug your shoulders, straightening your shirt that was ruffled.

Eobard is now standing at a distance, intrigued. He halts his speed for a second to observe you. He’s positive he has no recollection of you. Being the evil genius that he is, he’s pretty much recorded all the villain metas in Central City. All those years travelling through time also played a big part in it. So why does he have no profile on you?

“Who are you?” He narrows his eyes, and all you provide is a smirk.

“I think you mean what.” You open both your palms, and your eyes are now emitting the same glow as your hands.

“Great.”

What in the world did he get himself into. He really had a knack for picking bad situations.

~Three Months Later~

“I could have just. “ He makes a hand motion, and you don't need to even guess what he means. This guy. You'd just been telling him about your experience yesterday with one of your peers.

“Now now, don’t make me put you to sleep again Bardy-poo. “ You could tell from his facial expression that the name was anything but desired.

“How long do you intend to keep me hostage?” you scoffed at his statement.

“Hostage, I’d like to think of it as a gracious service to society. “

Eobard was still glaring in your direction.

Running into you that night was such terrible luck on his part. He really thought he’d be lucky this time around, but he was dead wrong. You were unlike anything or one he’d ever met. Certainly not a meta. Since you weren’t exactly forthcoming about your origin, there wasn’t much to go on. What he did know is that every time he attempted to do something even remotely evil, you knew about it.

His powers also had very little effect on you. Trying on many occasions to drill a hand through your chest with no luck. You had him mentally and physically subdued. What’s even worse is he was trying to avoid time travelling, cause that would catch Barry’s attention, and the prospect of the male finding him was even less appealing. With nowhere to go, and you keeping him on a tight watch, his only option was to stick around.

It wasn’t like he was completely stranded. He had means to get by for moments like this. With his abilities he could take whatever he wanted without so much as a flinch. You apparently didn’t care much for his little adventures as long as no one got dead. For all intents and purposes, he was a free man, minus the unnamed being keeping him on a leash.

“I can feel you plotting from all the way over here. Something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Will you remove the bind?” He asked. You click your tongue.

“You know I can’t do that. Evil villain and all. I wouldn't sleep very well if I knew you were out there impaling civilians. “

His eyes were still marking you, and you shifted, brows knitting.

“Well...I’m gonna go because that look is a bit off putting.”

Moving to pick up your cup of coffee and head for the door, you’re once again trapped between the speedster and the wall. You’re about to give him another snarky retort, but you become a little distracted by how deliciously rosy his lips are.

You divert your eyes quickly before your mind can stray any further. He doesn’t speak for a moment, and for a second you almost think he’s trapped in the same haze you are. He’d obviously prepared something diabolical to say, but like some of your most recent interactions, his usual malicious intent is missing.

“So, you're gonna say something or are you trying to relive some Korean drama scene."

He blinks, then takes notice of the position. You’re a bit confused at the lost look on his face. If you didn’t know any better you would have said he didn’t intend to do that. Taking a step back, the coldness returns to his eyes, and just like that he takes off. You release a breath.

“It’s getting harder.”

This little ploy was becoming difficult to keep up. If he ever figured it out you’re not sure what his reaction will be. Your reason for doing this has greatly changed from the beginning.

~~~~~~

The little mental battle has been going on all day.

You could barely focus on anything even when you were teaching your criminology class. That night walking to your door, you felt heavy. Not just from the secret you were keeping from Eobard, but also the feelings you’d lectured yourself not to grow.

The dark haired male is not a good man. You keep telling yourself that. But you’d hope that these months being around you would change that. He hadn’t hurt anyone since his arrival. You honestly thought that you could change him for the better. Opening the door, you step in. The area is silent, and it sort of makes you a tad bit suspicious.

“Eo-”

“Good evening.” You jump, glaring in his direction as you push the door close. He’s sitting on the couch casually like he didn’t just scare the shit out of you.

“Geez don’t do that!!”

He’s once again strutting that stupid smirk.

“It’s uncomfortable isn’t it, when things happen that we have no control over. Surprises.” you squint.

“Why do I feel like that has some alternate meaning."

He’s dressed in dark clothing, glasses perched on his nose. Everything about his body language tells you something is up. With his attention now fixed on you, the bag in your hand is placed on the counter. You’re preparing for anything. As you’ve realized Eobard is very unpredictable.

“I’m done playing your game, release me at once. “

Trying not to pay much mind to his request, you walk past him.

“Come on, we've been at this for months. I can’t let you go on a rampage. Innocent lives and all. If you really wanna blame someone then blame yourself. What are the odds that out of all of the people here you decided to grab me right?” you laugh, but you don’t receive any in return.

“You’re under the impression that this is a game.”

Eobard knows there’s no harm he can inflict on your body, doesn’t mean his actions don’t make you nervous. He approaches slowly, but with purpose. With your back now to the fridge, you try to move to an area where you won’t feel as trapped. Eobard in no way allows this. His hands press into the cool surface of the fridge.

“Y-You know this fetish you seem to have with pushing me against stuff is getting kind of old.” Who were you kidding, shit was driving you mad.

“You can’t keep me here.”

There was no humor in his voice. Just flat out hostility. Yet he wasn’t emitting the anger you knew he had inside. Just because he couldn’t kill you didn’t mean he couldn’t hurt you. You’re positive he’s realized that by now. The prospect of him leaving, somehow it caused an ache in your heart. Eyes connected, it was impossible for you not to look so vulnerable.

“I-If you really want to leave then just go.” you willed your body not to shake, but it was becoming difficult to even keep your tears at bay. “Are you toying with me?” He clenched his fist.

You shook your head, lowering your eyes. Why did you have to feel guilty for keeping the truth from him. The guy wasn’t exactly an upstanding citizen. “I’m not. You can leave Eobard. “

His eyes grew a little wide at the information. 

“I’m not a witch, or a metahuman. I’m just a mutant.” you state. 

“It’s how I’m able to produce barriers like the one I placed on you. It can only be sustained for a maximum of three weeks. It’s taken me years to get to that point of control. You just assumed I always had the barrier up after a month, and I never corrected you because I was trying to keep people safe.”

That wasn’t your only reason.

This entire time he’d been trying to solve your mystery when the answer was right in front of him. It still made no sense. Why didn’t he leave?

“The only reason you’re still here is because you want to be.” Eobard took a step back.

“That can’t be right, why would I want to be stuck in this wretched town.”

All you offer is a smile. At the back of your mind you hope it’s because he’s grown closer to you than he wants to admit.

“I’ve been wondering the same for weeks now. “

You aren’t sure what else can be said. Thankfully you haven’t started breaking down. You sort of want him to leave so you can have the privacy to do so. You take a breath, forcing a confident smile on your face. “Well the cat’s out of the bag so I guess this is goodbye. Just because I can’t hold you doesn’t mean I won’t know when you’re causing mayhem. Better not fall back to your old ways.”

You refuse to look him in the eye, so you have no idea what kind of expression he’s wearing.

Eobard steps forward and grabs your arm.

“Wha-” your swept right off your feet, and you grunt when your back suddenly comes in contact with the softness of your mattress. Eobard is hovering over your body, and you realize he’s just taken you into the bedroom without so much as an explanation. Not just that, but the hunger behind those dark rimmed glasses is enough to turn you into putty.

“W-What are you doing!!”

“Testing a theory.”

“The fu-” His lips collide with yours and your eyebrows shoot up. If you had expected something, it wasn’t this. His entire body is now pressed into you. You’ve held your breath, whimpering.

This is bad, wrong even. His hands are pressed into the mattress, as he shows no signs of moving, or slowing down. His lips are moving eagerly against yours, and at some point your body has started to respond. You reach up, grabbing a fistful of his black shirt, forcing him closer. Your kisses are desperate now, and raw. One of his hands lands on your thigh, trailing up your leg. Because you’re wearing a dress, you can feel his palm against your skin. You moan, and he takes full advantage, slipping his tongue in.

“So good..”

He tastes amazing. His kisses are even more incredible. If you never came up for air that would be too soon. Eobard parts for the breath you are both in need of. Sapphire orbs have changed to navy, and it elects another needy moan from you. His hand is still on your thigh, caressing the skin teasingly. He’s so close to where you need him the most. Eobard takes pleasure in your soft cries. Now it all makes sense. The reason behind your need to keep him there, his apparent unconscious reluctance to leave you.

“Delicious.”

He licks his lips, pulling off his glasses and tossing them overhead.

“I hope you understand what you’ve gotten yourself into. “ You gulp.

Did you?

His lips hover over yours and the logical part of your brain has vanished. You lean up to connect, but he’s keeping you at a distance with that stupidly sexy smirk on his face."

”It appears I’m the one who has you bind now. “

What an unusual turn of events.

Not that you’re complaining.

[teatitty]

*rolls up sleeves* As you wish! This is a long one though, so buckle up! ☆

So, in Lostbelt 6 we finally got Beryl's backstory. And it was every bit as awful as a lot of people had been surmising, if not worse. He did horrible things to Mash, and the worst part of all is it was justified in his mind through his "love" for her. But the crowning jewel of it all was it being confirmed that when Roman booted Beryl from Mash's room during the infamous "sneaking in incident" itself, he didn't do it kindly. It was also implied pretty strongly that not only was he not calm about throwing Beryl out, but that it was a miracle that Beryl walked away from the experience at all. This fits nicely with the "Romani is super protective of the people he cares about, almost to a fault, and can be absolutely vicious about it if pushed hard enough" vibe, which is cool. Very validating to see the doc getting to be more three-dimensional as a character. But we also know Roman is suuuper hard on himself, and tends to earnestly gather the opinions of others to assess who he is as a person. So I'd imagine he'd be a little out of sorts following such a huge event, especially since there's part of him that knows if he still had his clairvoyance, he could have prevented the entire thing from happening at all. But he's still a bit green as a normal human, and so not very good at hiding his emotions, and the turbulence he's feeling towards Beryl and himself and everything else is written aaalll over his face. And between the blaze in his eyes and the rumors spreading around Chaldea like wildfire, a lot of people start to... steer clear of him. Cautionary whispers start to circulate that it's best not to anger the Director's favorite doctor, that he's secretly a loose canon just waiting to unload on the next unfortunate soul to give him a chance. No one could be that sincere anyway, they reason, so it makes sense that Roman's bubbly facade was hiding something nasty beneath it. And Roman's seen this behavior before. The whispering, the distance, all of it. Being the King of Mages illicited similar reactions, after all, and he was no stranger to being, well, a stranger. So he settles in to the notion of a second life of isolation, and draws back from the people around him. It was only a matter of time before the jig was up anyway.

At least, that's what he was thinking before he was startled halfway back to the Throne by the resounding clink of a coffee cup being set down beside him. The clang was loud enough that the whole cafeteria came to a halt, the spotlight suddenly placed securely on the secluded little corner Romani had been brooding in, and truthfully he was half-afraid to look for fear that the empty cup of his own he'd been ignoring had shattered on its own. That was honestly the last thing he needed right now, more evidence that he was frothing at the mouth, right? But then a laugh like bells reached his ears, and he turned to see Leo standing there with the warmest, softest look he'd ever seen her wear. She looked angelic, absolutely ethereal, and the slight crease at her eyes seemed to say "it's all going to be okay now." Naturally, he blinked and it was gone, and with perfect timing Leonardo had slid into one of the seats opposed to him with a flourish, loudly proclaiming to the shock of the onlookers that it was near criminal to mope in the presence of a genius, especially one who'd brought coffee to share. Beside himself, Romani could only gawk, blinking owlishly at the Heroic Spirit who, up until this point, seemed to only regard him with frustration and mild annoyance at best. But if Da Vinci recollected such experiences, she didn't show it, her gaze instead regarding him as if they were the oldest of friends before sweeping around challengingly across her audience, daring them to speak against her judgement. And though it was a bit awkward at first, it was... nice to have someone to talk to, Roman thought. (Even someone who liked coffee with not nearly enough sugar in it).

Of course, that was hardly the end of it. And when the rumors spread to Leo, hissed in secret by concerned staff, suddenly people find that green wasn't quite so scary a color as blue. She listens to the stir with a smile sharp as the talons drumming idly on the table in front of her, and the look in her dazzling doe eyes threatens them to give her every last detail they know. The picture of poise, her champagne tone is so thick with murder you could paint with it, and yet crafted so artfully it leaves the gossipers wondering if they've hallucinated the malicious aura around them or not. But a genius knows the value of patience when weaving a trap, and so she waits, and she waits, and she waits. She provides polite insight, little nods that she was paying attention, and little else, little more. Just a friendly conversation.... until the gossipers have so thoroughly locked themselves in with lies it's almost too easy to obliterate them in their tracks.

You see, what nobody knew was that Leo was there when Roman through Beryl out, her instincts as a high ranking Heroic Spirit tipping her off to the sudden tidal wave of of mana coming from Mash's quarters in the medbay. She saw it all, from start to bloody finish, her presence missed among the commotion, and where others had found something to fear, Leo had felt the stir of an emotion far more ginger. How many times in her natural life had she wished for someone to protect her from the evils of the world like that? How many times had she wished in her cell for someone to sweep in and decimate the people who'd wronged her like that? Broader still, how many times had she borne witness to someone shaking their head sadly, or lamenting because yet another little girl had fallen prey to a predator who wielded too much power to ever be stopped? And yet here was this strange little pushover of a man, completely obliterating one of the Director's prized A-Team members to protect a little girl many had considered a pet project at most. She couldn't be sure about a lot of what she saw— mainly the mana where there should be none, or the strange, golden glint to Roman's eyes. But she knew she had witnessed something done in pure altruism, and that there was one less innocent who went undefended because of it. Leo was also quite used to being ostracized to various degrees herself, not that she took it personally of course! (aha...) Being such an eccentric, beautiful, charismatic, talented genius was a tough existence, after all! Not many could keep up with her, and insecure people get so mean sometimes. (Not to mention that it was even tougher when she was still back in Italy, and often twice as lonely.) So, seeing as she is also so very compassionate and wise, she simply could not allow the same fate to happen to Roman! Especially not over something like this! It was only right to rescue him from infinite exile. Anyone with a conscience would have done the same!

(But oh, if only she'd known how he'd rescue her too, and how preciously love could bloom, even in the arctic, even at the end of the world.)

GRIPS YOU TIGHTLY

ANON WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH WITH THESE TWO, YOU UNDERSTAND WHY ME AND LYRE WERE ROMAVINCI STANS THE FIRST TIME WE SAW THEM TOGETHER, THEY ARE M A R R I E D BUT EVEN OUTSIDE OF THAT YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL META ON THEIR CHARACTERS AND HOW THEY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AND ALSO FUCK BERYL LIVES ACTUALLY LMAOOO

[catty-words]

Maeve/Otis for 001, and/or Otis Milburn for 002, if you like. :)

maeve/otis -

when I started shipping it if I did: their shared look during morning assembly in episode three! and more specifically, the fortifying exhale + eye squeeze otis does after breaking eye contact.

my thoughts: the way the dynamic rests on a bedrock of uniquely intense friendship, the way they both find themselves deeper in their affection for the other faster than either of them thought possible...it makes me lose my goddamn mind

what makes me happy about them: the way they support each other in reaching their full potential, what with maeve encouraging otis to embrace being a sex savant and otis encouraging maeve to embrace aptitude scheme

what makes me sad about them: the way their particular insecurities bump against each other and send them careening away from each other

things done in fanfic that annoys me: sadly, i didn't find any fic in the feed that captured the voices just right for me - hence my writing fic myself - so.

things I look for in fanfic: written by me, for me

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: listen. i've had a good time with their not-each-other love interests, and i'll peacefully go along for the ride with any others the show decides to throw at us. but none of them carry the narrative weight that maeve/otis does and so i really can't look at any other pairing as more than a passing phase.

my happily ever after for them: teenagers! don't! get! endings! but if we leave them in a place where they could plausibly have a future that looked a lil something like, say, this, i would consider myself satisfied

who is the big spoon/little spoon: maeve needs to be little-spooned by otis so hard!! it's about the security she'd feel. but also! imagining her being unable to stay still, rolling to face him so she can squash her nose against his chest and breathe deep - excuse me i need to go scream for a minute

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: imagine them sitting next to each other on a couch and reading. it's raining. they're sharing a knit blanket and it's a little threadbare so maeve keeps trying to tuck her cold toes under otis' thighs. which makes otis jump and slop hot tea onto his lap and maeve cannot stifle a laugh but otis gets her back by leaning over her to write notes in the margins of the book she's reading and they're happy and relaxed and all is well, at least for this moment.

otis -

how I feel about this character: his combination of goofy and debilitatingly insecure and angry and thoughtful and gangly and wise strikes me right in the heart. will protect him, do want to see him grow up strong and healthy, will tell my friends and neighbors about him.

all the people I ship romantically with this character: ola, maeve

my non-romantic OTP for this character: eric!!!! lily. ola. jakob.

my unpopular opinion about this character: i think what's likely to be my most unpopular opinion is that i am sympathetic to his decision to respond to ola's ultimatum by agreeing to cut maeve out of his life, and when i finish writing maeve's side of things, i have one final part of that long meta planned for otis' pov in the last few episodes of season two to explain why.

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: well, obviously i want him and maeve to sort out their shit. i also hope we don't leave behind the sex clinic entirely because it's one of my favorite features of the show.

my OTP: maeve/otis

my cross over ship: n/a

a headcanon fact: man, i really don't have headcanons for otis.

[adhd-wifi]

Madam Yu is an Amazing Character, Here's Why

What's up guys it's been 57 years but I finally have another meta lmao. Shoutout to those who helped me decide on this one, and for those who wanted the Yi City analysis? Don't worry that's coming soon lol.

So Madam Yu is a really important character in MDZS, and here’s a whole meta post about why I think she’s (in my opinion) the best-written minor character in the entire story. Quick note though, this meta is going to focus on the animation specifically, because that’s my favourite version of Madam Yu (though design-wise, Audio Drama Madam Yu is best lmao). The novel and CQL versions will be mentioned, but I don’t quite remember all the novel details and I don’t really like CQL-Madam Yu, so yeah. ^^; Also, this is talking about her character writing, not her morality as a person if she were real. Feel free to disagree with the post, but here's my take on her and why I love her despite not liking her as a person.

Anyways let's goooooooo. Warning: This is pretty long cuz I have a lot of feelings about Madam Yu ZiYuan. 

Madam Yu is a very well written character, easily the best written female and minor character in my opinion. From her very first appearance, we are shown much of her personality in very little time. In the novel, we are told of her fearsome reputation and why she goes by Madam Yu instead of Madam Jiang, followed by her verbal abuse towards Jiang Cheng in front of the other disciples. In the animation, she is shown talking down to the struggling disciples and scowling as soon as she sees Wei WuXian, despite smiling at Jiang YanLi moments earlier. In CQL, she is shown with a commanding authority over her husband and children, and in all three versions we’re shown how much she hates Wei WuXian. We also see her verbally abusing Jiang Cheng (Wei WuXian in the animation) in her introduction scenes, but also some degree of motherly love showed by how she adjusts Jiang Cheng’s clothes (or showing a kind smile to Jiang YanLi in the animation). 

Her introduction scenes alone tell us the core important traits of her character: That she’s a fierce and prideful woman, that she is a powerful cultivator with a frightening reputation (the animation and CQL also make a point to show ZiDian in her hands in her introductions), and that she is an abusive mother despite having love for her children (but not Wei WuXian). We also instantly understand that SHE is the reason why Jiang Cheng is so uptight about saving face for the Jiang Sect when Wei WuXian never seemed to give a fuck about it (he does, but you know, teen Wei Ying lol), berating Jiang Cheng constantly about how he doesn’t seem to be doing well enough despite being the future Sect Leader. She’s kind of the epitome of the “It’s for your own good” brand of abusive parent. 

There’s a scene in the animation, Episode 6, that strongly shows the discord between her and Jiang FengMian. This scene, though hard to watch cuz my favourite character is Wei Ying, is one of my absolute favourite character building scenes in the whole adaption, which makes me sad that it’s not in the other mediums (that I’m aware of). If you haven’t seen the animation, PLEASE go watch it because gods that’s my favourite version of Madam Yu. 

In this scene, Madam Yu is relaxing alone in one of the pavilions late at night, and Jiang FengMian joins her. She’s civil at first, speaking without any real hostility as she asks what he was doing out so late. He offers her a gift in the form of a jade hairpin, and says he bought it because he thought it was beautiful when she asked why he bought “such a useless thing”. Jiang FengMian then tells her of Jiang YanLi and Jin ZiXuan’s arranged marriage being called off, and while she’s obviously annoyed, she still doesn’t speak with the same fierceness or hostility as she did previously. 

That is, until Jiang FengMian makes a comment about how the children should not be forced into a marriage without love between them.

This is clearly a sore spot for Madam Yu, who immediately becomes hostile. Even the gentle music takes a darker turn for the shift in tone. She then makes a comment about how “Wei Ying always causes trouble”, and subtly looks back to gauge Jiang FengMian’s reaction. As soon as her husband defends Wei WuXian, she lashes out. She accuses Jiang FengMian of treating Wei WuXian better than his own son, and goes as far as to say that if Jiang Cheng had started the fight with Jin ZiXuan, Jiang FengMian wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to help him. In Madam Yu’s defense for this accusation, it’s not completely an unfair assumption, as Jiang FengMian does canonically treat Wei WuXian better, and the fact that he didn’t even try to deny Madam Yu’s accusation is very telling. Madam Yu then laughs bitterly about how Sect Leader Jiang will always be there to clean up Wei Ying’s messes before she walks away without a word, and the scene cuts to Wei WuXian watching them forlornly in the distance. 

I really really love this scene as character building, because from this scene we are very quickly shown Madam Yu’s personal problems, and how she resents her unhappy marriage and blames it on the child she believes took it from her, but the scene also doesn’t hold back on showing that she’s the one being unreasonable and unwilling to talk things out because she lets anger, pride and resentment control her. We see how she was fine and willing to try and talk at first, trying to reason with Jiang FengMian about why the marriage should be carried out, because their daughter does like Jin ZiXuan, and she also wants the Jiang Sect to have good relations to the Jin Sect like the Meishan Yu Sect does due to her close friendship with Madam Jin. This shows that she does care about her daughter’s feelings and that she’s doing what she can to help the Jiang Sect. But as soon as the sore topic of the loveless marriage is brought up, she blames Wei WuXian for it and starts the argument. 

From this scene, we also learn the extent of Jiang FengMian’s favouritism and how it hurt Madam Yu as well as their son, and having Wei WuXian watching their argument creates a nice transition into the next scene where he apologies to Jiang YanLi for ruining the marriage, showing that he feels guilty about the situation and most likely, the discord between his adoptive parents in general. 

As the story goes on, we see that Madam Yu’s problem is basically based ENTIRELY around Wei WuXian. She gets mad at Jiang YanLi for peeling lotus seeds for him. She gets mad at Jiang FengMian for giving Wei WuXian a choice to go or not to go to the Wen doctrine. She gets mad at Jiang Cheng for trying to calm her down and berates him for not being as good as Wei WuXian. As the audience, we are more sympathetic to Wei WuXian’s point of view, and so far Madam Yu comes off as an abusive bitch who hates him for no reason. 

Then after the whole XuanWu incident, we get the scene where Madam Yu storms in on Wei WuXian’s conversation with Jiang FengMian and Jiang Cheng. And holy fuck does it make her seem even more unredeemable than she already was. She comes in right as Jiang FengMian is scolding Jiang Cheng for not upholding the family values, refusing to recognize Wei WuXian’s accomplishment and saying he was bound to bring ruin to the Jiang Sect sooner or later. When Jiang FengMian asks her why she was there, after all it’s common knowledge that she doesn’t care about Wei WuXian’s injuries, she intentionally aggravates him by literally grabbing and shoving Jiang Cheng into her husband’s face, forcefully reminding him that Jiang Cheng was their “true son”. She accuses him of disliking Jiang Cheng because she was the mother, then accuses him of actually being Wei WuXian’s real father. And with that, we instantly know what he whole fucking problem is. 

It’s jealousy. She had been jealous of Jiang FengMian’s feelings for CangSe Sanren this whole time, and took it out on an innocent child who lost his family at a young age. All that unreasonable, misguided resentment, all directed towards a dead woman’s son. A dead woman her husband was most likely in love with, who hadn’t even returned those feelings. 

Personally, when this scene showed up, I decided, “Yup, I fucking hate this bitch.” But I will say this, this scene was also such a good character building scene. It amplified the drama, always necessary in ancient Chinese stories, and was a catalyst that led to a very important plot point: Wei WuXian’s promise to Jiang Cheng. 

Time to talk about how Madam Yu actually functions as a plot-driving character! 

As I just said, this scene drove Wei WuXian to make the promise of becoming Jiang Cheng’s right-hand man in the future, and it was a promise he had fully intended to keep. Madam Yu, and to a lesser extent also Jiang FengMian, were the driving force behind that decision. By now, we as the audience fully understand the core factors of Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng’s insecurities. Wei WuXian feels like he doesn’t have a proper place in the Jiang Family because of Madam Yu, and Jiang Cheng feels like he’s never doing enough to please either of his parents. The abuse from Madam Yu and the neglect from Jiang FengMian weighs down on Jiang Cheng’s shoulders constantly as he feels unloved by both parents, meanwhile Wei WuXian believes he is what ruined the love for the family just by being alive. 

To me, Madam Yu is the strongest catalyst character in the story because she drives the story’s two central characters, Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng, in a way that both explains and exploits their insecurities and the decisions they make because of those problems. She is legitimately the primary reason why both boys are so messed up (though Jiang FengMian played no small part in that too), and we feel the effects of her actions on the two of them long after she's dead. Which brings us to the big topic of her death. 

Now, let's be real, Madam Yu was still kind of a fridged woman like Wen Qing and Jiang YanLi. However, in my opinion she was at the very least a fridged woman done right. The reason for this is that both Wen Qing and Jiang YanLi were overall much weaker characters (especially in the novel) and essentially both died for no real reason except to cause more tragedy and pain for Wei WuXian to push him to his death. They both only died to set up Wei Ying's death, which is why I'm furious about that, but that's for another post (let me know if y'all want it lol). But Madam Yu's death? Her death was far, far more significant and there's a huge reason why a lot of fans, regardless of which adaptation they follow, agree that Madam Yu's last scenes were her best ones. 

Now, onto the analysis of the massacre of Lotus Pier. It started with Wang LingJiao’s pompous ass waltzing in and demanding that they chop off Wei WuXian’s hand and submit to the Wen Sect, even after Madam Yu violently lashed out at Wei WuXian with ZiDian to the point where he shouldn’t have been able to move for days (the animation doesn't agree though cuz they wanted a cool fight scene lmao). This scene is very interesting for Madam Yu’s character, because you can interpret it in two ways; one that makes Madam Yu seem to hold SOME sympathy for Wei WuXian as a member of the Jiang Sect, or another that shows her tactical insight as well as her pride for her Sect and status, or even both. Later in the story, Wen Qing reveals that Madam Yu hadn’t actually hurt Wei WuXian as badly as she claimed, and we can interpret this as either her not truly wanting to cause lasting damage to Wei WuXian, or that she knew there would be a fight regardless and made sure Wei WuXian would be able to fight the Wens off along with her and Jiang Cheng. Madam Yu has previously made it clear that she believes in Wei WuXian’s skills in combat and cultivation, shown in her berating comparison of him and Jiang Cheng, so it would make sense for her to keep one of the Jiang Sect’s strongest fighters on his feet while putting on a show for Wang LingJiao in case it was enough to satisfy the Wens into leaving them alone for the time being (while probably finally having an excuse to act violently against the poor kid she hates maybe). Personally, I do think it is more of the latter, but I also don’t think Madam Yu is one to turn to physical abuse too much. Yes, she slapped Jiang Cheng in the shoulder in the novel introduction and shoves him around when she’s angry, but aside from that we have no reason to believe she actively and frequently engages in physical abuse against them as they never seem to be scared of her in that way, and Jiang Cheng was particularly horrified and scared when she did hit Wei WuXian in that scene with Wang LingJiao, so I lean towards believing it was a rare occurrence (not that emotional abuse really any better, but you know.) 

Quick bonus point, I love how in CQL she just nods at JinZhu and YinZhu and they immediately know what to do, and also when she trusted them to hold Wen ZhuLiu off while she escaped with the boys. It really shows how close the three of them are despite being mistress and servants, having grown up and trained together. JinZhu and YinZhu are criminally under-utilised and I will be forever bitter about it.

In the scene that follows, the animation has my whole heart once again. Mostly because it was the best fight scene don’t @ me, but also because it showed her fighting side by side with Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Madam Yu took the frontline first, taking out the large group headed towards them before letting the boys rush forward ahead of her to fight, only taking over the main fight when Wen ZhuLiu entered the fray. During their battle, Wen ZhuLiu used the body of a dead Wen to block her attack, blinding her with blood as she paused in shock at the unexpected action. Realizing she could not win the unfair fight, Madam Yu quickly switched tactics and escaped, aiming to make sure that the Jiang heir survived. I really liked seeing her fight alongside them, even though it doesn’t totally make sense with Wei WuXian’s injury, because it does give a better look into them being able to function as combat partners. It is implied that Madam Yu trained them more than Jiang FengMian did and that'sthe headcanon I go for myself, so I enjoyed that scene a lot. Then comes her biggest defining moment, her final scene with Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Please note: This is 100% the animation and why anime-Madam Yu is best Madam Yu.

Madam Yu shoves Wei WuXian into a boat, screaming that this was all his fault. She knows it’s over, that there’s no chance of winning this fight, so she gives ZiDian to Jiang Cheng, and tells him, in the softest voice we’ve ever heard from her, to leave. When Jiang Cheng starts begging her to escape with them, she gives into her emotions and pulls her son in for a hug, telling him he’s a good child. Jiang Cheng is shocked, likely never having received her affection like this before. Here, Madam Yu has no reason to hide her feelings anymore, because she knows she's going to die, and she knows she cannot bear to flee Lotus Pier as she is the Jiang Matriarch and has her pride. She spares Wei WuXian, but I don't think it's because she wants him to live. I think she spared him to ensure her hot-headed son will have someone to protect him, because she knows that Jiang Cheng will absolutely try to save her, and because she fully believes that Wei WuXian absolutely will fulfill that promise. She knows Wei WuXian is loyal to the Sect, and more importantly, to Jiang Cheng. She knows that while Wei WuXian is more reckless and impulsive, Jiang Cheng is the one who reacts more emotionally. Just like herself. When demanding that Wei WuXian give his life to protect Jiang Cheng, she’s not simply giving him an order as a master to a servant. She was telling him, in her own way, that she cannot protect Jiang Cheng as she believed she was doing any longer, and entrusts that task to Wei WuXian, because he’s the only person who can do so. In this very moment, she knows she’s walking to her death, and she knows she would never see her children again, and doesn’t know if her husband would even return for her, because she genuinely believes she’s unloved by him. So, she gives her family to Wei WuXian in the worst way possible, and we see her biggest flaw of her unyielding pride also being her greatest strength as she fights to protect her family and home one last time.

This scene, this GODDAMN scene, is Madam Yu’s most defining moment as a catalyst character, because now her character has served its full purpose. It’s the moment both we as the audience, AND Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng, see that she is more than an abusive, jealous mother. She is more than just prideful and fierce. She’s also a “real” person with emotions and problems she never managed to work out, but did truly love her son, her family, her sect. But she was also never going to be redeemed, because she refused to face her own demons even to the very end. She was such a prideful and stubborn person, that she died upright, holding on to her sword in a refusal to kneel to the Wens. And for Jiang Cheng, to see the proudest, most powerful person he knew, dead and disrespected by Wen Chao and Wang LingJiao, well, can you blame him for snapping? 

Madam Yu’s presence in the story was primarily to set up the conflict between Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Her problems, her abuse, caused them to develop insecurities that became their worst flaws, with Jiang Cheng always feeling inferior because she always told him he was inferior, and with Wei WuXian’s guilt and tendency to blame himself for anything that goes wrong around him. Jiang FengMian’s lousy parenting and neglect (y'all want an analysis on him too cuz he's honestly a really interesting take on a bad parent imo), which is also a form of emotional abuse by the way, shouldn’t be ignored, but Madam Yu is simply the better and more impactful character. We see how her starting arguments with Jiang FengMian push the boys into heartfelt talks, leading to the promise between them before Lotus Pier fell. We see how she set up Wei WuXian’s feeling of owing an unpayable debt to the Jiang Sect, and to her for sparing his life to protect her son. But she also wasn’t simply a plot-device-abusive character type. She is fully shown to have her own motivations, her own problems unique to her, and her own strengths and flaws in ways that a lot of other minor characters don’t get, especially in the animation. Hell, not even Jiang YanLi, a character supposedly being more significant than her, got such an in-depth character. Madam Yu isn’t a developed character by any means, but she has a lot of depth, and the impact she left on both the audience and the canon characters is felt long after she’s dead. When Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian break things off, Jiang Cheng talks about how Wei WuXian is the perfect disciple of the Jiang Sect, and that leads to Wei WuXian leaving so he “doesn’t cause them any more trouble”. Wei WuXian cannot abandon the ideals of the man who took him in all those years ago, but he also felt that he had given his all to Jiang Cheng already in his golden core, and thus he felt that he should respect Madam Yu’s presumed wishes and stop causing more problems for them. Even far, far later on, Wei WuXian still feels guilt towards her and Jiang FengMian’s death and wishes to pay respects, but doesn’t argue with Jiang Cheng when he’s told that he doesn’t deserve even that. And honestly, we also just know who’s fault that unreasonable guilt really is. 

I say Madam Yu is the best minor character, and a fridged character done right, because she genuinely felt like an actual person, an actual abusive mother but also a human being with her own complex feelings while also being an overall bad person who (arguably) needed to be out of the protagonist's life. To get a little personal for a moment, Madam Yu strongly reminds me of my own mother, who is quite emotionally abusive, though not as extreme, which might have made me feel more realism from her than most other minor characters and definitely made me think that MXTX has some personal experiences herself. The animation is the best at this, because her tones and expressions change drastically here and there when it’s needed, plus her voice actress does such an outstanding job conveying her emotions instead of just shouting everything like the novel and CQL presents it, but she maintains her pride, the most defining trait, both her greatest strength and greatest flaw, until she was no longer needed in the story. A lot of stories with such a character tend to give them an emotional breakdown before they end their arc, but Madam Yu had none of that (...except...in CQL...I guess...yeah that’s why I don’t like that one). Her death was to push the story and the motivations of two male characters forward, and I agree that it’s not fantastic given that most other women died within the same story for male plot progress, but her death actually felt, to me at least, like it also had a genuine purpose to her own character as well as the plot. Wen Qing’s death was heartbreaking to me because I love her and she is my QUEEN, but narratively pointless especially since Wen Ning came back and in the end she was only really there to perform the golden core transfer. Jiang YanLi’s death was just...utterly unnecessary man pain. I have made no secret of hating how her death was handled. 

With Madam Yu, I personally really liked that she essentially was an irredeemable person that would never change herself out of pride so she almost needed to die, but was still human nonetheless. And going by MDZS’s heavy theme of grey morality, she fits the theme perfectly. And that’s why, while Madam Yu may be an abusive and terrible person, she’s easily one of the strongest characters in the whole story, right up there with Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng, and Jin GuangYao in my opinion. 

I hope y’all enjoyed this monster of a post of me rambling about the angry purple lady.

[inhonoredglory]

I thought this needed to be its own post, since it’s a huge meta and I really loved writing it.

The following is my attempt to analyze the symbolism and staging of @tenyai​ ‘s impeccable storyboards to Douxie and Merlin’s farewell, in the final episode of Wizards: Tales of Arcadia.

Teny, your boards and the thoughtfulness, heart, and passion you put into them have legit inspired me to take up boarding as a truly narrative, imaginative, and character-driven art. Thank you for these and for all the love. Your skill and craftsmanship and sincerity of emotion come shining through in these arts, and it warms my heart and fills me with absolute joy. I’ve been in awe of your handle of cinematographic symbolism ever since you teased so much meaning out of the final scene in Killahead Part 2, and I’ve changed my entire view on how to analyze scenes and characters on screen because of it. I cannot wait to see your analysis of this scene. It’s rich and powerful in ways I cannot even express.

People, please go check out her boards on her blog and at her professional portfolio on the website in her bio!!

______

Waking up in Merlin’s Study

First up, parallelisms… Merlin’s study is the symbol of everything Douxie is aspiring to in his life. It’s the heart of Merlin’s knowledge, his position as a master and a wizard. It’s full of things Douxie is off-limits to (like the safe or the time map), as we saw in the second episode. He’s always been a student and an inferior in this room; that’s why he considers it an ironic Hell. But unlike in “Dragon’s Den,” when he wakes up in this room on the floor, scared and confused––here instead, he wakes up on the table, surrounded by Merlin’s books, Merlin’s knowledge. And he’s much more comfortable and relaxed. Symbolically, he’s not scrubbing the floor anymore as an inferior.

I almost want to say that Merlin’s tables represent the places where Merlin crafts and makes things––like in “History in the Making” when he is shown making the amulet over one of the tables in his study. But in this case, the person Merlin had a hand in crafting was Douxie. And being a father to Douxie, by saving him from the streets, is Merlin’s greatest accomplishment. He may have saved Douxie, but Douxie took on a life of his own and surpassed Merlin’s wisdom, in a way much like the amulet took on a foresight far more wise than Merlin could have ever predicted (choosing a human to be the Trollhunter, despite Merlin’s belief that a human wasn’t enough).

Walking to the Light

After Douxie wakes up, we get the walk towards the Light, with Merlin starting out in the Light and by the end of this scene, falling into Shadow. Symbolizing Douxie’s growth and perception of Merlin, and symbolizing Merlin’s position as Master Wizard of this realm and his willful relinquishing of that role to Douxie. At first, Douxie wakes up, thinking about his past in this room and all the service he did for his master––who in this shot appears as a hazy halo-ed vision speaking down at him from the unattainable glow: “Hello there, boy,” said with the kind of judgmental snide Douxie’s used to from Merlin.

Then they start walking and then we hit the window at the far end of the room, a kind of apex in the parabolic staging of Douxie and Merlin’s movement through the scene––with the arc going from the back of the room and the table, to the window, and swinging again to the back, this time from the right side of the room. Merlin’s dialogue when we hit the window is important. He’s first talking about how he’s dead and vaporized into soot, etc, and then he opens the time map and asks, “The question really is, Why are you here?” A charged, thematically rich question placed right when we see the mingle of blue and green light from the time map’s lenses––the mingling of these two’s lives through the ages, the summation of all Douxie’s insecurities and all Merlin’s expectations, all Douxie’s greatest mistakes and his greatest triumphs.

Why Are You Here?

Why is he here? At this point, Douxie’s finally let go, he’s accepted Merlin’s death, accepted the title of successor, accepted his gifts and powers and heroism. And he’s accepted that death is part of the job of Master Wizard if it means saving those he’s sworn to protect. So why is he here? Because he’s done everything and more that a true Master Wizard is supposed to do. He’s equalled Merlin, nay––surpassed him in heroism, wisdom, and responsibility. The mingling of the time map’s lights symbolizes that Douxie has achieved everything Merlin represented to him, and more.

And then Douxie touches the Light, looking out into the glow of the hereafter, saying nothing (I love that and makes me crave for his thoughts).

There’s something so fundamentally and chillingly introspective and metaphysical here in this shot for me. It comes on the heels of not only “Why are you here” but also “I am most certainly dead. You saw me vaporize into soot.” Cuz that’s what happens when we all go, isn’t it? You might be the wisest person on this earth, mastered all there is to know about life, become the greatest wizard, lived a thousand years and more, and still in the end, you will die, and to the dust you will return. Maybe Douxie’s thinking, Am I here because I’m dead too? Because my body is gone, because somewhere out there beyond the stained glass is the explanation of the mystery of what happens when we die? Because even if you master life, there is no mastery over death, because none of us will ever feel what it truly is to be on the other side until we get there?

Separate and Equal

Symbolically, with the lighting, it also means Douxie’s touched Wisdom/Maturity in a way. If the hazy glow of Merlin at the start was from this Light, from this Unattainable Essence––then by the time of this staging’s apex, Douxie has achieved what Merlin has. He’s touched the thing that he has sought for so long. He too can be framed by the Light of the person he wanted to be. So now, we see Douxie talking back to Merlin, and not being silent anymore.

Merlin and Douxie are on the same plane now––as equals. We get the vitally important shot of them side by side, Douxie laughing off Merlin’s disapproval, both of them framed by the Light, both of them standing on their own, balanced by the pillars and the light, each of them solid and independent, separate and equal.

Douxie’s Need for Validation

And then we get to the other side of the parabola, the shift in Merlin’s dialogue from disapproval to one of admiration and pride. “I can see you no longer need my validation.”

This line kills me, because you can see in Douxie’s face that yes, he does. Oh how he desperately wants it. But he’s worked so hard to NOT need it, so that he can grow and flourish. And Douxie falls back into that quiet again, waiting on Merlin’s every word, because his rebellious veneer is stripped right now. Merlin’s hitting on the core of his needs, the source of his insecurity. In the film version, he’s even holding his hands together in front of him, and if that body language means anything to me, it’s Douxie feeling small and childlike again, needing and wanting something from his Dad but not having the courage to tell him.

Staging-wise, Douxie’s still very much following Merlin. He’s behind him, chasing after him, looking up to him. The “ancient Draconic” stand-off was the first and most important show of Douxie’s growth, born from Douxie’s own gumption and sass, when Merlin for the first time in this scene walked up to *Douxie* instead of the other way around, even if it was to judge him:

But like any good hero’s journey, after one win, our hero gets a setback, a reminder of his failures, before he wins again. And this time, it’s Douxie feeling like this latest monologue from Merlin is again some kind of judgement, some kind of backhanded lecture. Would his show of strength and independence fall on deaf ears?

“Remember when I told you that magic is mastery over life?” Merlin says, holding up an alchemy bottle and then a book––tools of the trade, spellcraft and tricks. All the things Merlin taught him. In a huge way, Merlin wasn’t there for the real lessons Douxie learned to become truly wise. Douxie became strong and selfless and kind because he had to, because those were the ways he knew in his heart would take him on the path to reaching that wisdom of life Merlin was talking about. I wonder if there’s something to the fact that once Merlin starts saying, “Nine hundred years you’ve guarded this realm…” he puts the book away––putting away his own knowledge and symbolically recognizing that Douxie’s wisdom has taken him far past Merlin’s own teachings, and that in the 900 years that went by, Douxie has guarded this realm with a mastery of life all his own.

In the final version, the moment Merlin says, “You’ve disrupted time, freed ancient beasts,” that’s when Douxie drops his hands, stops walking, and looks down––a brushstroke reminder of his guilt on doing these things, things that Merlin disapproved of, but things Merlin is now seeing as good and right things to do.

And then we get to the shot of the amulet blueprints, and the wonderful crowning statement of Douxie’s morality: “You’ve… fought to save one life at the risk of countless others.” Meaning Jim, meaning the very person who inspired Douxie to take his selflessness that one step further and set aside his own life so that he could save everyone. Because every life is precious. I find it fascinating that on this line in the boards, Douxie silently fist-slams the table, disappointment all over his face. While Merlin, now in Shadow, has a look of wistful regret.

This shot is so pack full of meaning, and I keep adding to this interpretation...

Douxie for so long has been stripped down for everything he’s done, been criticized by Merlin for being different from him. In some ways, he thinks this latest monologue is more of the same, more ways in which he’s disappointed his father. And clearly, despite his growth, it still hurts him.

And it hurts him that while Merlin is talking about saving Jim’s life, Douxie never really was able to save him. Douxie died while Jim was still corrupted. He died only seeing Jim lose himself to the Green Knight. He never saw Claire’s heroism in bringing Jim back. Personally, Douxie failed.

But even more than that, it hurts him that for all his love for Merlin, he could not save him. He might give his life to save the world, but he cannot bring Merlin back from the grave. Every life is precious and he would risk countless to save just one. But he couldn’t save the one that meant the most to him.

Merlin recognizing he’s wronged Douxie

In the end, Merlin here isn’t talking Douxie down, even as he’s pointing out their differences. He’s in awe at this idealism Douxie possesses. He’s not criticizing him, he’s not being wry or ironic. Merlin looks up at the portrait, knowing that it wasn’t him who gave Douxie this outlook on life. It wasn’t his harsh treatment that gave Douxie his beautiful soul. Douxie had it all along, and Merlin was too dense to see it and nourish it.

So what Merlin says next hits even deeper––

“And yet, despite such relentless hardships…” Merlin’s looking up at the portrait. He’s looking at himself. He’s looking at everything he’s done to Douxie that’s burdened his son with that guilt, that insecurity, that fear, that emotional abandonment. He’s acknowledging here his part in the trauma of Douxie’s life, and his regret is that all this time, it was Douxie who was the better man than he was.

And then we get the symbolic shot––“Despite such relentless hardships, you managed to protect those dearest to you”––with Merlin in Shadow and Douxie lit from behind with the Light. A reversal of the opening shot of this scene, when it was Merlin in the Light and Douxie, unsettled, in the Shadow. This is finally Merlin laying down his ego, seeing in Douxie the strength and force of love and protectiveness he never had. The very thing Merlin didn’t do, when he didn’t protect Douxie all those years, when he let his son down, when he left him and ignored him and took him for granted. When he didn’t give the person dearest to him the love he deserved.

Resolution

And finally, it’s Merlin walking *up* to Douxie, Merlin falling in Douxie’s shadow, and Douxie being once and finally again on an equal plane with his master and peer. “My Hisirdoux, what a life you’ve lived. What a wizard you’ve become.” This is the climax of Douxie’s parabolic hero’s journey in this room. Merlin has at long last given to him what he desperately needed to hear––pure, unadulterated pride in his father’s eyes, and an honest and sincere expression of love, kindness, and emotion.

It’s too much for Douxie’s desperate heart, and he collapses into his father’s arms, releasing 900 years of pent-up emotions and need.

(Is that symbolically why Merlin’s always in armor and Douxie never had any––cuz he’s fragile and bare in the face of Merlin’s cold, callous exterior?)

After that hug (waaaah TEARS, every. freaking. time), we once again are treated to the Light symbolism. First again to show how equal these two men are––Merlin importantly a step down from his son, with the light behind Douxie. And then to show the time map, glimmering with a calm, peaceful, happy equality.

Life and Death

And now we’re in scene denouement, as Merlin and Douxie walk to the end of the parabola (past the first table and eventually out the door). Fascinatingly, in the boards, Douxie glances around the room and then his eyes I believe land on the table he woke up in earlier, before the scene cuts and we get a shot of that same table, panning up to reveal Merlin and Douxie facing the doorway to the hereafter.

And in my brain, it’s like we’ve come full circle in Douxie’s life arc. If waking on your back is birth, snarking about your tough childhood, and now after all you’ve gone through, you look back on that time at the end of your days, ready to face what comes after death…. (well, that’s what it means to me anyway).

Douxie’s fully prepared to leave the mortal world. That’s how far he’s come in his maturity. He closes his eyes, accepting the unknown and resting in the confidence of who he is.

The Hero’s Journey

But like any good hero’s journey, the end isn’t to leave the ordinary world with the boon of your new knowledge and wisdom. It is to return to your home and share that knowledge with others, to use what you have gained and become a teacher and protector for your family and community.

Merlin gives him one last lesson, one last parting gift to tell him, Hey, you have more power than you even imagine you possess. Your rebellious spirit made you who you are today, and it’s what will keep you alive and fighting because it’s your gift and how you protect the world. Your way.

Merlin’s parting sign of the horns is the cherry on top of this whole thing, a perfectly subtle way of Merlin acknowledging who Douxie is, accepting it, and celebrating it. Saying goodbye to his son in a language meant for him. Douxie’s tears at the end (wish they got into the final oof!) speaks volumes to his beautifully mingled emotions––amusement at Merlin’s gesture and a poignant love that he did it for him. I tear up just thinking about the look on Douxie’s face and what it all means in his heart.

Anyway, that’s a wrap, folks. I love Douxie with my entire soul. Thank you for sharing these boards, Teny, and for putting your heart and tears into this masterwork of a scene. (I listened to “Moving On” to write this for the Mood and guhh, it’s a tear-jerker gosh.) This fandom is incredibly lucky to be the recipients of your favorite sequence in your career to date. It’s been an absolute pleasure to see your work and feel the heart you poured into them.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

[miss-choco-chips]

The dangers of sugar coating

Dick tries to give his little brother nice things (and fucks up), Tim is paranoid (and too tired to think clearly), and Damian thinks they might actually be a good team (while they plot Santa Claus’ downfall).

(Beacuse @animemangasoul and I decided we’ve been too rough with Tim lately, so I tried to give him some batfamily fluff. Somewhere along the way I fucked up and ended with this. No edit, pure crack)

-----.------

-Before I tell you anything, you need to promise me you won’t get mad.

The Bruce of ten years ago, new to parenting and oblivious to its dangers, would have done his best to emulate any ‘How to be a good Dad- guide for new, utterly lost fathers’ book. Now, though, tired after raising Dick to semi-adulthood and still hurting over Jason’s… Jason, he knew better. Life had toughtened him up.

So he didn’t raise his eyes from his newspaper, and gave into the urge of sipping his coffee before humming under his breath. Not even the slightest show of acceptance over those terms.

If Dick was asking that, instead of hiding whatever this was or dealing with it himself, it meant the situation was either out of his control, bound to make its way to Bruce eventually, or both. 

Probably both.

-Come on, B, just promise you won’t get all passive aggressive bitch on me. I did it for the greater good...

Another hum.

However, Dick has spent the same amount of time learning under his guide than he had raising him, so the younger was bound to develop some of his own tactics.

-...and I did it because Tim obviously needed it, so…

Warning bells ringing in his mind, Bruce gave up and shoot Dick a look. He didn’t seem overly guilty, so whatever this was, it probably wasn’t irreversible. But he was also shifting his weight from one leg to the other nervously, so… there was a catch here.

-What did you do?

-You didn’t promise.

-I won’t take your allowance away, but I may yell. It depends on how convincingly you make your case -compromise, he had learned after many, many mistakes, was as good a plan as any. 

-Deal -then, quickly, like ripping off a bandaid:- I might have made Tim slightly more neurotic than he was. On accident.

The bells turned into firefighter’s sirens. 

-What did you do?

They have had the fifteen year old living in the mannor for a few weeks at most. They couldn't possibly have already broken him, right?

Right?

Dick winced, but sat down by Bruce’s left (the side closest to the dining room’s window), which meant this was the only issue, but a hard to explain one.

-You see… We were talking, bonding over childhood memories and stuff, and… you know how christmas is just around the corner, and I asked him about Santa. I mean, obviously he doesn’t believe in that now, but the thing is, he never did.

-He’s too smart for that -growled Bruce, impatiente to get to the point and figure out just how much damage control would he be doing.

-No, his parents were too shitty. They were never there on Christmas, so no gifts under the tree unless he put them there himself, and whenever that happened, it was because his parents sent them and he wrapped them himself. Also no surprises, because he was the one asking for specific stuff. And I got a little sad, because how can a kid never believe in Santa? Like, come on. It’s part of the concept of childhood innocence. So...

Bruce waited a few beats, but Dick didn’t follow up. See, this was the moment where his parenting books would suggest waiting until the kid was good and ready for sharing his thoughts. But, since this was his younger child at stake here, he couldn't allow himself the luxury of letting a single second go.

-And? -he prompted, as gently as he could, trying not to spook Dick into abandoning ship.

-And I sort of… convinced him that Santa was real. Like, a full out super powered meta whose purpose in life was to bring joy to all of us. I texted Barbara and she planted some old looking reports on the batcomputer about it, to give credibility to the lie. I even drew parallels with Batman being thought of as a myth outside of Gotham to support the ‘Santa is real, people just don’t believe in him’ thing. And, after some hours of convincing and with Babs’ help, he bought it. So now, if Tim approaches you about it, you better back me up, because otherwise you would be ruining the last vestige of innocence Tim might still keep. Downside, though, Tim is now holed up in his bedroom searching the deep web for any Santa related info he can get his nerdy little paws on.

Silence in the room. Dick blurted out a goodbye and jumped out of the window. Bruce didn’t get up to check if he had landed safely on the other side. He probably had. 

Tired, he looked down at his coffee. Black, just like he needed it now.

He should have stopped at zero children.

----.----

Cassie watched, with no small amount of unholy glee, as Tim thoroughly convinced both Kon and Bart of Santa’s existence. One a clone with little social understanding and the other from a very dark future, they were unsurprisingly easy to convince.

This was the kind of hilarious shit that made being in a superhero team worth it. All the life and death situations were balanced out by this kind of drama-like absurdity.

Even better was Tim’s completely fucked up perspective on the matter.

-So you’re saying Santa is not only real, but a deranged psychopath? Who’s probably both a pedofile and a mind controlling scumbag? -Kon tilted his head, both confused and esceptic.

Cassie did her utmost best to keep a straight face while nodding along, as if everything Tim had laid down in front of them made perfect sense. 

-I thought it was stupid, too. But Dick showed me evidence, old reports, both handwritten and digital, and I found footage of Santa sneaking into the Manor when he was still young, deeply buried in the Batcomputer mainframe.

-Couldn’t that video be, you know… made up? -Bart asked, frown unusual on him firmly in place.

-If it was anywhere else? Sure. But this is The Batcomputer we’re talking about. Why would Batman have that kind of thing there? It was too heavily protected to be placed there as decoy for anyone hacking, not like they could ever get over Oracle’s firewalls. Besides, what reason would Batman have to invent this? I’m fifteen, I don’t need the ‘Santa fantasy’. The only believable answer is that Santa is real and very dangerous, and some people have taken his name for capitalism’s sake and made a holiday out of that and some religious backing, to get more people roped up into it. The true mastermind is obviously hiding somewhere out there, and the Christmas propaganda is merely a means to get funding for his devious plots.

Both metas hummed thoughtfully, Superboy even crossing his arms as he examined the pile of photos and papers Tim had laid out in front of them. Bart was nodding, hand cupping his jaw. The looked dead serious.

Cassie wanted to excuse herself to use the toilet (lead lidden because this was Gotham, specifically Tim’s secret place, so of course it was super-proof) so she could laugh her ass off, but the temptation of seeing this trainwreck to its fiery end was too strong. 

It was taking up all of her amazonian training to keep her straight face, though. Diana would be so proud.

-I even searched the deep web for Santa related crimes, and looked up his name in disturbing forums. You wouldn't believe what some people, serial killers and rapists both, do using Christmas as a theme. I couldn't sort through it all, it was that sick.

Kon looked utterly disturbed- So what do we do now? Christmas is just around the corner!

Bart got up and started pacing back and forth- We need to hunt this dude down. Christmas is about goodness and family! We can’t let this, this… psychopath ruin it! Think about the children of the world!!

Oh god, this was getting even better.

-But how? The man sounds like a velocist of some kind, I mean, running and leaving gifts everywhere in the world in the span of a few hours? How are we even gonna catch him?

-Maybe if we dress up as Elves? -Cassie couldn't stop herself from suggesting, voice choked in her effort to be serious, but most likely interpreted by the boys as clogged up on rage- From what Tim wrote here -she raised a paper from the pile, hand shaking- it looks like they are his mind-controlled slaves. If he thinks we ran from his captivity, he might take us to the North Pole with him to brainwash us again… Oh, but I probably shouldn't dress up, so you know, I can be back up if he manages to catch you three…

-That’s a great idea! -Bart’s skinny arms wrapped themselves around her neck, and she took the chance to hide her face in his mane of hair, corners of her mouth twitching up.

-Should I also record it? -she asks, almost begging- In case people don’t believe us later, when we have to explain why we imprisoned Santa.

-Yes, I think that might be wise -Tim conceded, eyes scanning his papers again.

Thank the gods. That tape was going to be Cassie’s most precious treasure forever.

-I think he has a way of controlling people’s minds too. Like, parents and stuff. And then he makes them be the ones to give his children gifts in his name, as a way of gaining their trust. Sick fucker.

-So you think it’s a kinky thing for him?

-Kon, he literally categorizes kids as ‘good’ or ‘naughty’. 

-You are right, we need to stop this bastard.

Cassie loved her boys so, so much. She also owed Dick Grayson the biggest high five.

----.----

Red Hood was just lighting up a cigarette when he saw Red Robin making his way to his rooftop. Cursing, he dropped the entire thing and kicked it away. The brat knew Jason smoked, but Dick had been on his ass lately about being a good brother, and he still felt kinda bad about trying to kill the kid twice, so he was actually trying to set a good example. 

Besides, out of the two possible little brothers to take under his wing, he certainly drew the lucky ticket, because while Dickie had gotten stranded with the pompous brat, Jason had the all around good kid circling his radar more often than not. Like, Tim had broken him out of prison, a little after Jason had done his best to end his life; he couldn't get more forgiving and nice than that. It certainly beat making a murder League child let go of his katana on a nightly basis.

-I need your help.

He blinked. While they certainly had worked cases together in the past, they were always preluded by some kind of smalltalk,  little banter, at least a ‘hello’. Not this straight to the point bullshit.

He had the urge to take out his guns, to protect them both of any threat following Red Robin here. He refrained.

-What’s the matter, babybird? What’s wrong?

Tim looked almost frazzled. The cowl was hanging around his neck, just a domino preserving his identity, and his hair was a knotted mess. Disveleshed was too little a word for his state.

-We need to make a plan to catch Santa Claus before Christmas this year. His reign of terror must end. It’s still not too late.

Yeah, okay, he might need that cigarette after all, to hell with Dick’s bitching. Besides, how bad of a influence could that be, when this kid was obviously already on some kind of drugs? Like, Santa? Really?

-What… do you mean?

What followed was an hour long rant on the dangers of a super powered, evil version of the myth that Tim had somehow cooked up on his mind.

Was this real? The kid looked far too distraught for a joke.

-… Does Nightwing know about this? -whatever ‘this’ was- Bats?

Tim shook his hands frantically. Jason was legit getting worried.

-N was the one who told me about Santa -there, he knew this smelled like a Golden Boy trademark fuck up-, but he seems to be under his spell. Bruce as well. They tried to convince me he is some kind of good-hearted samaritan. Jason -he stated, breaking the no names during patrol rule, a show of just how deep into the rabbit hole he was- you wouldn't  believe what I found on the deepweb. Joker’s yearly special seems tame in comparison.

That, Jason could believe. But he was also fairly sure you could type about any word in the darkest side of the net, and find half a dozen kinky or deranged things that matched. Santa-temed crimes? More likely than anyone would believe. Real life Santa doing the deed? Not so much.

Tim had been too young when Dick lied to his face, most likely. And nowadays, the young vigilante was running on three hours of sleep on a good week. And it wasn’t even too far fetched to believe, on their line of business, specially when dealing with metas and supervillains day in and day out.

Still…

-Kid, I don’t know how to tell you this, but… Santa isn’t real -he told him, slowly, hands raised as if to touch his shoulders but not daring to actually make contact. Tim looked so manic he might actually nerve strike him.

The icy blue eyes were hidden under his mask, but Jason knew from the way he tensed that Tim was terrified.

-He got to you, too -he whispered, almost too softly for him to hear. Then, without giving Jason the chance to inquire further, he turned tail and disappeared into the night.

....

He really needed that cigarette.

----.----

When Drake told the family he was taking Damian under his wing for a case, everyone seemed so happy he couldn't just shoot the other man down. Besides, reluctant as he was to admit it, Red Robin was the superior detective in the entirety of the team, so there would be rewards for taking the blow to his pride and working with him.

He expected to be directed through some easy case, maybe a little puzzling but not too challenging. Or be sidelined while Drake worked through things, so he could learn by example.

This, though, this he hadn’t foresaw.

This case was way more serious.

-How come Father has allowed this depravancy to continue?! -exclaimed Damian, hands gripping the sheets of information tightly- This ‘Santa’s’ influence has been permitted to cement on too many people already! And it keeps growing!

-I know. Fuck, I know. But I can’t get anyone to help me. My team knows, but sadly we aren’t enough. Bruce and Dick don’t believe me, and neither does any other hero I contacted on the matter. It’s just like when B was missing in time; they either think I’m crazy, or try to sugarcoat things, like they would with a baby.

Damian snorted, disbelieving. Whatever his opinion might be on his predecessor, he at least knew to trust his insight in a case. Grandfather himself had recognized his genius on that field.

They were on Drake’s perch, his center of operations outside of Batman’s influence. He would never admit it out loud, but if Damian ever needed his own batcave, it would be just like this one. 

Now, the long table in front of him was completely covered in information, case reports, photos taken from live footage, deepweb forums’ conversations, history books…

-And you say this… monster, targets children?

-I mean, he brainwashes the parents too, but that seems like a plot to both increase his economic funds and to gain the children’s trust.

-How are you so sure they are his objective?

-The parents tell their children Santa is ‘always observing them’, and ask if they ‘have been good’ that year. If they aren’t perceived as obedient, Santa leaves them coal, which incentives them to do their best to change that by next year’s christmas. 

-Maybe the coal and gifts have mind control devices, or some magic?

-My thoughts exactly.

Damian frowns even deeper. He’s glad Drake is taking his detective training seriously, but if father himself is being deceived, he wonders what can the two of them (plus Drake’s team) do.

-What about Todd? Red Hood is proclaimed as Saint Protector of Children in Crime Alley, after all. He certainly has opinions about this ‘Santa’ person. 

Timothy shakes his head- He got Jason too. I suspect he’s been under his control ever since he was a child at the manor. 

-So, we are alone in this.

-Essentially, yes. Thankfully, not everyone celebrates christmas. Some religions flat out forbid it, so we won’t have as much ground to cover when we lay out a trap. We could choose a close by location and plan around it. 

He nods, back straight with purpose. He -and Drake, he supposes- would be freeing Father and Grayson, along with the rest of the victims, from this madman’s control. Maybe even Todd, if he has the time.

-I’m with you on this endeavor, Drake.

-Good. Remember we need to act natural in front of the family. If Santa catches wind of what we’re doing, he might focus his efforts in getting to us. 

Damian wants to say to let him come, he would show him why it's a bad idea to mess with his family. But Drake is, admittedly, the superior detective, and it seems he’s been working on this for a long time now. Damian will defer to his judgement this one time.

Drake’s superior knowledge and Damian’s unrivaled training might be what’s needed to orchestrate this ‘Santa’s’ downfall.

They will be a good team, he thinks.

[hintofcolor]

Things I’ve managed to convince myself are canon:

Dick was born in Romania and spent his entire childhood traveling with the circus not once settling down therefore when his parents died in America (supposedly just another country they stopped in) he was forced to stay there. Meaning dick was an illegal immigrant for a long time while Bruce constantly was trying to use his money and power to get Dick legal without him leaving the country OR anyone finding out

This also means Dick couldn’t really speak English when he moved in with Bruce (this is backed up by him constantly dismantling the English language in the YJ cartoon)

All of the bat kids were bullied brutally in school

Bruce encouraged them to fight back just like Alfred did with him (“never throw the first punch but if get hit make sure they’re the ones that stay down”)

Dick spent a couple weeks in juvie after his parents died and it was the worst couple weeks of his life

Dick had a childhood crush on Wally (who is straight) when dick was 16 he sat Wally down and told him. He told him he expected nothing out of this confession he just hated feeling like he was lying to Wally, Wally understood and was really nonchalant about it nothing changed in their relationship

Jason grew up loving wonder woman and considered her his greatest inspiration in being a hero when he was robin

In return Diana absolutely adored Jason

When Jason got older his respect for Diana only grew and Diana constantly stood up for him, even going as far as (subtly) threatening Bruce a couple times

Jason can’t handle the smell of drugs at all, he always has to wear a filtered mask during drug busts just in case

Jason used to smoke but ever since coming back the smoke just reminds him of the explosion (I saw this somewhere I can’t remember where shout out to you tho)

Jason hates the color green

Tim was severely neglected as a child

Tim learned multiple different languages from all the nanny’s he’s had

Tim is an amazing photographer

All of Bruce’s kids are really close with Selina and go to her to talk or just if they need a break from Bruce and she absolutely adores it

This is one of the main reasons Bruce wanted to marry her

Bruce might be a little awkward and socially inept but he is a good father and loves all of his kids and even tho he might slip up sometimes he would NEVER (I’m looking at you Tim king) NEVER EVER intentionally hurt one of his kids physically or mentally BECAUSE THAT IS EXTEREMELY OUT OF CHARACTER @ ANY WRITER WHO HAS MADE BRUCE A JERK GOD LEARN YOUR CHARACTER JEEZ

Damian is a phenomenal artist and is considered a prodigy

It is something he keeps to himself however

Both Dick and Tim have gone and worked under Selina during thier robin days for a few weeks

The only person who is close to Dicks level when it comes to acrobatics is Selina

There are days where you are only allowed to speak in your native tongue to help Everyone keep up their language skills (Tim speaks Filipino dick speaks Romani Jason speaks Italian Stephanie speaks Portuguese Damian speaks Arabic bruce switches Cassie speaks Chinese) these are the days duke feels like slamming his head through a wall

All of the bat kids have green lantern shirts

Tim has a habit of stealing clothes from literally anyone

Tim prefers tea over coffee

Ace and Titus are both trained service dog however Titus is Damians specifically while Ace is trained to alert Alfred of Bruce and to alert Bruce of Dick Tim and Jason

Bruce is think about getting another dog for Cassie steph and duke because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Ace with 3 more people

Nobody in that spoiled family except for Jason and Alfred can make ANYTHING other that ramen cereal and toast

Dick is insanely healthy because that’s how he grew up in the circus AND the manor

Bruce once lit the refrigerator on fire trying to cook. No one knows how. He denies he ever did such to this day

Dick was considered a heartthrob as a teen and actually was featured on vogue in native dress and took the opportunity to talk about his culture

Vickie was fuming but so was Lois

Dick dresses like Harry styles. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

However his go to look is a Hawaiian short tucked into black skinny jeans and black converse

Just like Selina everyone in the batfamily has a tendency to confide in Dinah

No homophobia sexism or racism is allowed in the Wayne house hold if you display any of the following you will promptly be kicked out. It has happened before

Cassie has punched lex Luther in the face at a gala

Bruce laughed

Cass has also only worn sweats and a sports bra to a gala

Cass is a ballet dancer and likes teaching her brothers the moves she has learned

When Bruce came back from the dead and found out the justice league thought Tim was going insane with grief and didn’t do anything about it he yelled and screamed for a solid hour. Then he went silent. for weeks he didn’t say a word. It was the most terrifying he had ever been

Duke hangs on to the fact that he is the only meta allowed in Gotham with absolute pride

All the robins check in on the kids from the ‘we are robin’ movement every now and again just to make sure they are okay

Adults are terrified of the bats however children love them

Every member of the batfamily has been called over by child screaming out their window only to spend the next hour helping said child with their homework

Batman makes sure he is approachable to children he wants them to feel safe enough around him to ask for his help no matter what

That has led to him: 1. Patching up stuff animals 2. Calming down imaginary friends 3. Giving opinions on important matters such as which color is the best 4. Helping with homework 5. Trying to be persuaded into convincing the parents not to make broccoli anymore. It’s his favorite part about putting on a mask

Teenagers tho a little more hesitant also approach him with a little more serious matters and more for advice. (How can I help my friend with depression? How can I help my anxiety? I think friend is doing drugs how can I help. I don’t think these are good people I’m hanging out with but now I’m too scared to stop)

However if teens catch any bat sitting on a rooftop close to their windows they ask more stupid type of questions

“Hey nightwing how do you ask out a girl?” “Red hood I’m trying to write this book so hypothetically how long does it take some one to bleed out?” “If I payed you would you take my physical for PE for me?” “How good do you think you would do on the pacer test?” “Can you tell my little sister to shut up, she’ll listen to you?” “How much do I have to pay you to scare my friend?”

Talks between people and the vigilantes from rooftop to window happen a lot and it is always the highlight of the patrol. They like that the people of Gotham trust them.

Jason was brought back via whatever that superboy reset was (I’m still a little fuzzy, sue me) clawed his way out of his grave and then found by Talia. He was then but in the pit for his head injuries. Making it easier for the shadows to manipulate and brainwash him into hating Bruce. However that’s the only thing they manipulated him into. Jason didn’t go ‘insane by the pit’ and his thoughts and stances on killing are his own. And the way Bruce handles Jason being back is what made Jason continue hating Bruce even aged the brainwashing ‘wore off’

The day his dad died was what Jason considered the best day of his life

Dick is extremely intelligent and was considered a child prodigy (this isn’t a headcanon this is actually canon some of y’all just forget and need to be reminded)

Dick loves math (also canon)

Jason can sing. Like really really well.

Theater Nerd™️ Jason Todd

Jason is scared of thunderstorms

Damian is afraid of heights

Lady shiva absolutely adores Tim

They have all been arrested a few times each for varying reasons when they were teenagers

If Alfred or Bruce yell one thier full names the other kids will cover for them but ONLY if they use the full name other wise it’s every man for himself

I know this one isn’t batfam but I think kon playes the electric guitar and has a really unique punk-ish vibe type singing voice (think hobo Johnson)

Dick has naturally curly hair

[mischiefandspirits]

Colony of Gotham (3/7)

The Colony of Gotham is an urban legend that is whispered about in the dangerous city. It’s said the Colony is a family of demons and spirits that stalk the night, hunting for the souls of the guilty.

When Bruce became Batman, he’d never intended to be mistaken for a demon. He was happy to lean into it, though, and as he gained his partners – as his family grew – they all followed suit.

First Part ~ Previous Part ~ Next Part

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke Thomas lost his parents when Joker unleashed a new version of Joker Venom onto a crowd. While most of the infected were rounded up to be cured, some disappeared, Duke’s parents among them. The boy was determined to find them, no matter what it took, which landed him in trouble with both his foster parents and the law. Even when he was labeled a delinquent, though, he continued to search.

Meanwhile, a similar search came to its end.

Harper Row’s hunting had eventually led to her crossing paths with Batman. Despite her fear, she refused to back down under his warnings until her brother Cullen was attacked by some of his classmates while she was away on one of her searches.

Bruce, having been keeping an eye on the woman, stepped in to ensure they got justice for the attack and, in the process, helped her get custody of Cullen so they could both be free of their abusive father. In the face of all these changes and with Batman’s promise to find the other killer, Harper agreed to stand down.

However, Cass would find him first by taking a bullet for him after her father sent men to attack Harper and Cullen to draw her out.

Having expected a monster like Orphan, not this small child who stared up at her with the most apologetic eyes, Harper immediately forgave the girl and worked with Bruce and Batman to clear Cass’s name and take the girl under her wing. It was hard as Cass didn’t understand any language but body, but Harper and Cullen were willing to put in the work. In an effort to help, Bruce brought the Rows into the fold and promised any aid they could require.

Cullen was fascinated, but also happy to keep to the normal side of life. Bruce may have secretly wondered why the other children he found himself faced with couldn't be that level headed.

Harper, on the other hand, was more taken in, but also wary of getting too involved now that she had two people relying on her care. She went out sometimes in all black body armor with a full face mask and short hooded cloak, but she stayed out of sight enough that Black Bat remained an unknown myth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A trip to Los Angeles had Tim declaring he was never going with Bruce on business trips ever again. The first two days had been nice enough, but then Bruce caught him pulling an all-nighter working on a case that he wasn’t supposed to be working on and banned him from coffee.

Which was how a half-awake, phone focused Tim found himself nearly stepping out in front of traffic. Thankfully someone not dead on their feet spotted him in time and she pulled him back onto the sidewalk. He tried to laugh it off as just being too focused on his phone. That failed when he turned to walk away and almost immediately walked into a newspaper rack. The girl insisted on walking him to his hotel. When he pointed out he was going to pick up something from his father, she declared she’d walk him there and back.

When he returned back to Gotham with a new number in his phone, he refused to look her up. No, she was just some random civilian. He didn’t care if Wonder Girl doesn’t even wear a mask! Obviously that was her! A hoodie doesn’t help hide anything, Cassie! You and Kon are terrible! How do you two even have secret identities? At least Superman had those stupid glasses!

No, she was an ordinary civilian.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke Thomas’s search eventually ended when he teamed up with Batman to free his parents and the other missing Joker Venom victims from the Court of Owls, his photokinetic vision helping them navigate the labyrinthine tunnels. Unfortunately the Court’s experiments paired with going so long without the antidote had left the victims catatonic. Even still, Duke was so grateful that he did what he could to help Batman with his cases in the future.

Bruce, giving in to the inevitable even if he was wary to have a meta vigilante in Gotham, brought Duke into the Colony. There was some debate over how he’d fit in until Duke made it known that he would prefer getting some actual training before he went into the field for real.

This doesn’t stop Tim and Bette from glaring eachother down over who got to move on from Robin first.

Cass suggested settling it with a Mario Kart race.

Tim won.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day Jinny “Hex” Woodson got fed up with all her friends discussing their Gotham friends -- ones she was pretty sure none of them were even allowed to have since no one was even supposed to go to Gotham -- so she packed a bag and headed out to find her own Gotham friend.

She decided the place was alright enough. It was actually kind of nice that no one questioned her for having a pair of pistols holstered on her hips. Someone even tried to mug her despite them.

It was hilarious.

She was having trouble finding her new Gotham friend, though. At least until a kid fell off a fire escape she’d been passing under and into her arms.

It was fate.

Apparently the kid had been trying to take a picture of a bird (aka Tim was scouting for a stakeout) and the railing hadn’t been quite as sturdy as he’d thought (it had only let him balance on it in a crouch for two hours before giving way). It was then that he noticed her guns.

“You’re not going to shoot me, right?”

“Angel, you’re so skinny, you can't even see your shadow. I don’t need my guns to whup you.”

“Angel?”

“Because you fell from heaven.”

Tim was not amused. He was even less amused when she declared they were friends now. No, he doesn’t get an opinion on the matter. Should have thought about that before throwing himself at unsuspecting women. She doesn’t even swing that way, Angel.

Around the same time that it hit the Young Justice team that they were all friends with the same Gothamite, it also hit the Colony that Tim had somehow managed to befriend the entire team.

Except no, Tim affirmed that they befriended him. He had no input in this whatsoever, thank you very much. It was probably Kon’s fault, really. He had probably set it all up. Tim was definitely going to give Kon the cold shoulder.

At least until his badgering got too annoying.

The worst part was that Stephanie stole his phone to get Cassie’s number when she found out she and Tim had been flirting. She stated it was so Stephanie could defend his honor if she tried something, but he caught both her and Bette in a group chat with not only Cassie, but Kara Danvers aka Supergirl and Suzanne “Cissie” King-Jones aka Arrowette.

Apparently, they didn’t get to be teased since the girls actively sought out their super friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Talia al Ghul personally informed her that the Heir to the Demon was now living with his biological father Bruce Wayne so she would be wise to keep her distance from Gotham, sister or not, Cheshire knew she’d made the right call keeping her nose out of the Waynes’ business.

It didn’t occur to her that when Talia al Ghul had met Bruce Wayne over ten years earlier at a party and decided to spend the night with him, the woman believed he’d given up his training to settle down for a life of luxury and frivolities. Cheshire didn’t know Ra’s had only allowed Talia to keep the child that had been an accidental result because he’d seen Bruce’s promise and believed, if raised properly, the child could become what he thought Bruce hadn’t.

That Talia had only brought her son to his father because she had no other choice.

The Demon’s Daughter fled to Gotham with Damian after her father was killed by Slade Wilson. She had hoped that between Bruce’s former training and the shadowy Colony of Gotham, Damian would be safe until Wilson could be dealt with.

Damian did not get along with his siblings. He made an attempt to pick a fight with Tim that failed when Tim refused to fight a child. Cass tried to fight him in Tim’s place, but Harper told her no. Damian tried to stab Dick when he hugged him and Dick disarmed him before he could without releasing the hug. He picked a fight with Jason and got his butt handed to him. Damian snuck out to prove himself, picked a fight with Nightwing, and got his butt kicked. Damian tried his hand with Tim again and the older boy, annoyed, agreed then used knockout gas on him the moment the fight began. Dick tried to talk with Damian and they ended up fighting. Damian, of course, got his butt kicked.

Stephanie was standing on the sidelines the entire time, encouraging everything.

Soon enough the Colony noticed Slade holed up near Gotham and launched an attack. Due to the danger, Bruce pulled in everyone, leaving the Robins and Alfred to keep an eye on Damian, Duke, Cullen, and Cass in the manor while Catwoman took guard outside. When Damian found out about the attack and tried to go after Slade, Tim sent him in the opposite direction then followed after him in the suit he’d been designing for post-Robin while the others took shelter in the cave.

Tim knocked Damian out and dragged him back to the cave where they locked him in a cell, to Bruce’s annoyance. Damian woke up and realized his father was Batman when he overheard Bruce reveal that Talia was likely coming back for Damian now that Slade was taken down. He also heard the family’s argument over it. None of them wanted him to go with her, but in the end they agreed that it was Damian’s choice.

When she did come, Damian remembered what the others said about him having a choice and some things about family Dick had said when the two had had their private conversation. He decided to stay with them, citing that there were things his father could teach him that he couldn’t learn while helping his mother rebuild the League.

She was obviously annoyed and disappointed, but didn’t fight him on it.

It wasn’t easy. Damian still fought with all his brothers as well as Stephanie, though Duke did his best to keep out of it. The youngest Wayne tried to challenge Tim and Bette for his place as Robin, but Dick and Bruce were able to get him to agree to training instead with the reminder that he was lacking the theatrical and teamwork skills that the Colony utilized and were mandatory as Robin.

Bruce didn’t mention that he wanted more reassurance the boy wouldn’t step over the line before ever letting him near the field.

Damian was not impressed when he discovered his father’s relationship with Selina Kyle and made it well known.

She thought it was adorable.

Damian would never admit that the kitten she gifted him was what calmed him. He simply didn’t see the point in wasting any energy on outwardly disliking the woman when his father clearly wouldn’t be changing his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Duke took Tim’s place as Robin, he made sure to keep his own contributions to the role quiet. Robin was a legacy while his meta abilities were not. Tim was not quite so subtle in his new role.

No one was sure where the name Corvid came from since the new bird didn’t speak in words, only trills. He wore an armored suit that was blue on the chest and arms and black on his sides with white detailing. His legs, hands, and feet were all black as well except for the blue splashes on the outside of his thighs. A white belt draped over his hips while black bandoliers crossed over his chest, a silver and black bird logo covering the cross. The bandoliers connected to his cowl, which was open at the top unlike the Bats’ which allowed his feather-like hair to fall down around his face. It was shoulder length and faded from black at the roots to blue at the tips, much like the wings that formed from his feathered cape.

They said he was a fallen star stolen away by the Colony. He soared soundlessly through the air on wings that never flapped, leaving behind a trail of blue light. He was more migratory than the others. Sometimes he flew above Batman and Robin, sometimes Batwoman and Red Hood, and sometimes Batgirl and Nightwing. A criminal could only hope they got the warning of seeing one of the others first or he’d have them in his talons hundreds of feet in the air before they even realized he was there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time passed. Damian grew closer to the rest of the Colony under Dick’s instruction.

Jason and Kate bonded with him over their more aggressive styles (to Bruce’s consternation) while helping him learn ways to calm his temper.

Despite their rough start and continuing antagonism, Damian grew to respect Tim’s quick mind as he tutored him in strategy and the Colony’s language.

He also developed a respect that had nothing to do with fear -- not at all -- for Barbara after she repaid an insult he gave her by sharing with the entire family a video of him fawning over some stray kittens in the park. He never discovered how she got the footage as he had made sure there were no cameras in the vicinity before acting in such an undignified fashion. (It was Dick. He pouted for weeks when he realized the cute video he took of his adorable baby brother was used for such purposes.)

A similar kind of respect grew for Harper as he quickly learned to be noticeable when approaching her. She had far too much experience with bats and birds sneaking around and far too little concern over jabbing them with a stun gun in revenge, whether they meant to scare her or not.

He was not afraid to admit he was scared of Cass once he realized who she was, though. He knew her skills and knew she could take him down in seconds if it came to it.

He was skeptical of both Stephanie and Bette, who he believed to be vapid, but Stephanie’s pranks were amusing when they weren’t directed at him and Bette introduced him to social media revolving around animal rights (and cute animal pictures).

Although he was rather dull, Cullen was by far the best person to be with while working on his newfound appreciation for drawing and painting, especially if the older boy was doing his own artwork for the webcomics he and Duke collaborated on.

While not being the most mentally or physically skilled, Duke was the most patient of the lot and could be trusted to keep his mouth shut so he was the one Damian went to when he needed assistance with homework (a rare occurrence, but the American schooling system was so different from his League tutors, to the point that sometimes they even seemed to contradict one another) or wanted to practice his Trillic.

Though he would never admit it out loud, Dick was Damian’s favorite of the lot. While he didn’t have Duke’s patience, he was just as considerate and confidential. When something happened, Dick was always willing to hear him out and talk him through it until he understood. Or at least was on the path to understanding. Dick did not share Jason’s anger, his father’s suspicion, Tim’s caution, or Duke’s anxiety. He had only sympathy. Damian knew his mother would consider Dick weak, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a year in Gotham came and went, Dick went to Duke and Bette. The three talked, eventually bringing in Harper as an idea began to blossom.

Robin had a sword. They said he got it from his shadow.

The only thing not pitch black on the Black Bat was the thin golden outline of the Bat’s symbol on their chest. Their face was featureless, not even possessing eyes like Batgirl. They never made a sound. If you saw Robin, then his shadow was behind you.

There was no time to run.

On the other hand, those who believed themselves safe during the day proved to be foolish.

Bright spirits had come to Gotham.

They wore metal armor and carried their wings on their chests. They came and went in flashes of light bright enough to stun.

Bluebird was their guide and donned armor of blue. Her voice echoed with the voices of lost souls and lightning danced across her form.

Lark was their prophet and donned armor of gold. He could see the past, present, and future and fought with the strength of ages past.

Hawkfire was their messenger and donned armor of red. She spoke with the voices of everyone she passed and her armor blazed with the heat of the sun.

Though they walked the day and seemed to be creatures of light, it was nothing but a trick. They were will-o'-wisps, false lights. They were birds.

The Colony had invaded the day.

With the three working together, Bette offered to turn Duke and Harper. The two accepted. Afterwards Harper sought out Cullen and Cass to offer them the same. She wasn’t surprised with Cass’s easy agreement, though Cullen’s was a little more shocking as he’d never shown any interest in the Colony’s nightlife. Quite the opposite, in fact. He simply shrugged and told her vampirism had nothing to do with the nightlife. It was just how their family worked.

He and Cass were greatly amused, but unsurprised when Harper, Bette, and Duke forgot to mention the latest turnings. They decided to keep their own mouths shut to see how long it would last, though he did confide in Alfred. Not that it was necessary as the man seemed to put it together himself the moment he saw Cullen.

It took three months for Bruce, Tim, and Barbara to figure it out for themselves, then an additional two for the rest to find out when Duke casually mentioned it during a family meeting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian blamed Tim when he found himself stuck in a room with Superman’s spawn Jonathan Kent while said superhero in disguise interviewed Damian’s father for the newspaper.

Clearly, Tim’s horrible curse had somehow rubbed off on Damian and the older boy would pay dearly once he returned home by way of Damian renaming all of Tim’s non-case related computer folders and creating a maze of invisible thread around his room.

At least the half-alien had good taste in video games. And his voice was nice enough that his incessant chatter was more like a soothing white noise than a nuisance. And Superman clearly would have trained Jon in discretion, even if not to Damian’s family’s standards.

For the record, the only reason Damian accepted Jon’s number was so that Dick would be so pleased Damian had finally acquired a friend that he wouldn’t allow the others to tease him over something that was clearly Tim’s fault to begin with. And when that plot fell through, he simply forgot to delete Jon’s number because he was busy expanding his revenge to include Jason and Stephanie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harper, as Black Bat, wore Cass's Orphan suit from Young Justice. I wanted something a little more lowkey from what she normally wears since she's not really supposed to be spotted.

Tim's suit got the most reworking because I like and dislike elements from all his Red Robin suits. The end result is one with the body armor from his Young Justice (TV) Robin suit, but with the New 52 wings paired with the bandoliers, logo, and cowl from the original Red Robin suit. Except I left the cowl open on top like the ones Kid Flash and Impulse use. From there you replace the red with blue and the yellow with white. I honestly wish I was better at drawing so that I could give a visual of what I'm going for here.

Cass's Black Bat suit is her Batgirl one, just with her belt black instead.

Haper, Bette, and Duke wear Signal's armor as Bluebird, Hawkfire, and Lark, just in blue, red, and gold instead of yellow. The bat logo is also replaced with their individualized bird logos.

Vampires’ animal forms:

Duke: Cape wild dog

Harper: Maned wolf

Cullen: Crab-eating fox

Cass: Northern bat

[aerielz]

1, 3, 8, 9, 12!!!!! and like. any others because i love talking tww with you! also i assume your really stressed with finals and school and life, so this is a reminder from a friend that you’re going to be okay! it will all be over soon, and you have so much strength and intelligence that you can surely handle this<33 so yeah, here you go- distraction AND reassurance, hope this helps🥰

At some point you're going to make me cry, okay? You’re the best!!!!! I also love talking tww with you, and it really does help. Finals have been killing me, and I really needed this!

On to the answers!

[Under the cut because I really went for it. and I mean... I went for it. check the last answer if you want just the headcanons, everything else for unpopular opinions, lmao]

1: favorite episode(s)

Ohhhhhhooooo boy. There’s an endless list. I think I can name a season’s worth of them, but here’s ones I can pull from the top of my head:

Crackpots and These Women: and here’s some of my rationale behind the choice. but yeah, I could go on and on about this episode.

Nöel: listen, I’m a basic bitch who’s in love with Josh Lyman, okay, is that simple. But. yeah, like, no. here’s the thing, there’s a reason why everyone won Emmys for this one, ok. the writing is freakishly good, and Bradley Whitford can draw nuance from a fucking comma. that episode is absolutely off the charts when it comes to just about any aspect of the filmmaking. it’s what happens when everyone involved decides to live up to their potential. it’s one of those I need to reign myself in, otherwise I'll just go full analysis and there’s no end to that meta lmao

The Steakhouse Filibuster: the way this episode works is... pure fun. I'm a writer and it doesn’t turn off and I will start taking about structure unless I shut up now, so. also, DONNATELLA MOSS, who I'm, also, in love with.

Hartsfield’s Landing: “You're a good father, you don't have to act like it. You're the President, you don't have to act like it. You're a good man, you don't have to act like it. You're not just folks, you're not plain-spoken. Do not - do not - do not act like it!” “I don't want to be killed.” "Then make this election about smart, and not. Make it about engaged, and not. Qualified, and not. Make it about a heavyweight. You're a heavyweight. And you've been holding me up for too many rounds.” This exchange carries a lot of meaning for me. it’s about being who you are in spite of outside opinion, and this idea has been hitting me like a truck, these last couple of months.

Holy Night: [cries in JD shipper language]

Commencement: hands down the best episodes this show has ever produced, season finale notwithstanding. but I'm biased, because they used Angel, and I loved that song. also: DONNATELLA MOSS.

The Supremes: everything Debora Cahn ever wrote for this show deserves more love. This episode is a work of art, and. like. Glenn Close, man. also: DONNATELLA MOSS. are we sensing a theme, perhaps?

No Exit: THIS EPISODE HURTS SO GOOD. And for many reasons, including the fact that we get cj and donna’s scene. I'm queen of unpopular opinions when it comes to this show, tbh, and this is just one of them. It’s one of those really serious episodes that happened post-sorkin that gave the actors a chance to shine through the lens of a more poignant drama. Janel is so good here, I can’t stress that enough.

King Corn: [more cries in JD shipper language. louder]. I love how they stress just how much Donna is growing by paralleling her routine with Josh’s. She’s on his level now, they’re on the same boat. Not just that, but we see the toll the distance takes on both of them. It’s distance makes the heart grow fonder in perfect visual form. writing-wise, it’s impeccable. and since I actually like the direction the show took after Sorkin left, I really like this one.

Freedonia: Eli Attie’s creative is paralleled by none short of Vince Gilligan (of breaking bad fame). After he arrived on the show the political content got to a whole new level, and under his writing we finally got to see josh being the genius political operative we were always promised he was. I mean, the chickens. the damn chickens.

The Cold: the writing and the kiss and the FUCKING BEAUTIFUL SHOTS OF JOSH AND DONNA FRAMED BY LIGHTS and the kiss and the acting and the kiss and [crying] the kiss.

3: favorite ship

There are ships that we love for a few months and then let go. Then there’s ships that stay with you long after you watched the show. Then there’s ships that change your life. Then there’s what JD did to me.

But Andy/CJ killed me and continues to kill me, and you’ve successfully convinced me to ship the shit out of the OT3, too.

8: scene you watch over and over again

To be honest, while watching the show I had the remote on my hands and watched everything that made me laugh or just mildly happy multiple times before even allowing the episode to play through.

I mean, the kiss from the cold... I literally just kept replaying it when I got to it. I watched it like seven times before even continued to watch the rest of episode. not just that, but also the shots of them looking at each other at the end.

Also: cj and the turkey. cj and toby and the dead brother. donna and the chicken. that scene in which toby lays his heart out for will about writing because honestly that just too close to home and the recognition hurts but like in a nice way.

But, for real. This entire show was me pausing every five second to rewatch something.

9: plot you pretend didn’t happen

Bartlet giving the go on killing a foreign leader, because political assassination does not sit well with me (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

12: headcanons

ok now you really want me to stay here the whole week. here’s a small list:

- unpopular opinion: josh was actually in love with Amy for a second, there. which is why he’s learned so much from the debacle that was their relationship.

- remember when sam once said “I never knew how much smarter than me he is” when he has to step in for josh as DCoS? that’s when he realised that Donna can keep up with Josh. Which is why he knew, before everyone else, that Donna would leave Josh eventually.

- I can’t remember if this is cannon, but I'm 100% sure josh never even thought of taking the bar. sam will never be over teasing him about it.

- after so many bad christmases, josh really doesn’t like it. but he starts reevaluating his opinions after they he gets married to donna. getting to see the kids light up at both Hanukah and Christmas year after year... let’s just say family has this way of making things feel better.

- cj regularly gets called to guest lecture at Columbia. she regularly declines. but she does accept once. and it changes everything (YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT ALEENA).

[fangirlinglikeabus]

every target novelisation....2!

planet of giants by terrance dicks ok so i think that the reason that this is...good, and an unearthly child was...not good, is because this was written 9 years later when like. other, non-terrance dicks people were also novelising stories and he wasn’t just grinding them out on an industrial level. planet of giants isn’t one of the greats of doctor who but this is a competent adaptation - it doesn’t add much but it does flesh out what’s already there, giving us some backstory elements and making the appearance of giant insects and bodies seem a bit more dramatic than they could manage in 1964. unfortunately it also alters my favourite line from the story (‘i don't know how you know, you're supposed to know!’) and the doctor is weirdly hostile at the beginning (he’s looking forward to ditching ian and barbara, he responds to barbara’s observation ‘drily’ like he’s being a bit sarcastic over her, um, *checks notes* noticing important details). also, dicks describes this in the opening as ‘the doctor’s most grotesque and terrifying adventure’ and i’m like...planet of giants? really??

doctor who and the dalek invasion of earth by terrance dicks ok this one legitimately doesn’t change much at all. it cuts down on some things (including the doctor’s end speech being shorter - i’m assuming that’s a space thing), fleshes out on pov bits as you can in prose, gets rid of the smacked bottom line. bizarrely there are a few times that susan calls her grandfather the doctor which...i’m pretty sure wasn’t there originally. aside from all those small details, yeah it’s basically the same, but it’s well adapted for prose (i genuinely think it stands as a novel in its own right), and depending on your reading speed it might actually be a nice, shorter alternative to the television version - it was around 45 minutes less time for me. some general things i wanted to comment on: the resistance is explicitly shown as kinda gender segregated (exclusively women are preparing food when we first see it) which irritated me; the description of parliament as a symbol of ‘human progress and tradition’ reminded me of blood harvest having the lords/commons system as the Ideal Form Of Government, in terms of how terrance dicks thinks (this may only interest me? idk i very probably spend too much time thinking about the political views of this particular dead dr who script editor); there’s a use of holocaust here that’s technically accurate to what the word literally means but it felt weird to me to use it.

the rescue by ian marter oh man i’ve been busy and this took me aages to read. it kinda...diverges increasingly from the original story as it goes on. we’ve got some scenes with the seeker crew (incidentally one of them says ‘ass’ and i was like???hello???you’re allowed to do that in a dr who book from 1987???), and then most of the expanded stuff is in the climax. dr who and bennett have a full on brawl! ian, barbara and vicki visit a destroyed didoi city on their way back to the tardis! mysterious silver figures! a giant worm encounter! incidentally, this does have way more of a downer ending than the original because it’s strongly implied that the last two of the didoi were killed by seeker crewmembers who fired in a panic, after which the report that forms the epilogue ends with “goodwill to all persons” to give us a taste of bitter irony. so that’s kinda grim. um...there’s actually a lot of little changes and minor expansions to this one as well so off the top of my head: we learn more about why vicki left earth (global warming :/), sandy is a lot more threatening-looking than on screen, the crashed ship gets its name changed to astra-nine, ian and barbara hold hands briefly, barbara’s fall really leaves her beaten up. i like the seeker crew comparing the tardis briefly passing them to various non-police box objects from the future (although the link to china is a bit eastern world=alien association for my tastes), dr who telling vicki ‘give that pretty face a wipe’ is clearly him attempting to cheer her up and it’s not meant to be weird but i found it weird. finally, i’ve gotta say i appreciate ian marter’s commitment to ‘mildly unsettling’ in his descriptions of tardis materialisations. this was the last novelisation he wrote before his death (the book’s dedicated to him) and mild criticisms aside, i do think he’s a good writer and he brings an interestingly different angle to the series. 

the romans by donald cotton oh my god. how do i even start this. i’m not even going to try cataloguing all the changes because this isn’t even close to a straight adaptation. it’s told in the form of various documents collected by tacitus - the doctor’s diary, ian’s journal that he keeps to prove to the headmaster at coal hill that he and barbara haven’t just eloped (i’m not joking, this is the textual reason for it), an assassin’s letters home to his mum, nero’s scribblings, and various other little details. vicki and barbara get less attention than on screen because we don’t see much from their perspective (vicki unfortunately doesn’t even get to chase the assassin out, she just screams in this), and the nero assassination plot is exclusively confined to being mentioned in the epilogue. it’s also a lot broader, or at least consistently broader, which means that ian’s side of things is treated a lot more lightly (which i was personally fine with) but also that we still get nero’s predatory behaviour being played for laughs. there’s also a few comments about women early on that i was unhappy with, and use of fat as an insult. generally, though, i thought this was great! there were a lot of things that i don’t have space or time to include here but i really liked. i guess i’d consider this as a companion piece to the tv version rather than a replacement, which some of these do basically serve as. they tell the same basic story, but they’re so different in a lot of ways that i think it’s worth looking at both. i just checked my notes and remembered this so content warning: poppea sabina’s first section references suicide.

doctor who and the zarbi by bill strutton ok so i think the web planet is boring. i don’t know completely why, i don’t think it’s any one thing, it has some interesting ideas, but it is! it’s fucking boring! anyway, we have a bit more casual sexism in the novel, we’re missing that fun convo about aspirin between vicki and barbara, but really i don’t think it adds or changes much - like even the chapters correspond pretty much exactly to the tv cliffhangers. i guess it’s competently written prose-wise, but i genuinely can’t get over my conviction that this story is boring. am i being unfair? maybe! i like some of the early atmosphere, though, and i appreciate a book which refers to ‘the ship tardis’ (lowercase) and ‘doctor who’ throughout the entire thing. oh yeah, and i encourage you all to look up the illustrations for this. i don’t know who that woman is but she’s definitely not vicki.

doctor who and the crusaders by david whitaker ah yes, the infamous ‘susan married david cameron’ novelisation. tbh i don’t like the crusades and this has the same problems - i don’t care about the english, el akir is every orientalist stereotype whitaker could possibly cram into one man, and That’s Not How A Harem Works. do i think it’s the most egregiously racist doctor who story of all time? probably not! it certainly has sympathetic arabic characters too. but i prefer most other historicals, at least. however, if that isn’t you, i’m sure you’ll get something out of this. there aren’t any particularly extreme changes to the plot structure, although it’s missing some later scenes at the english court, but it’s well written and probably if you like the original you’ll enjoy it more than i did. there’s some dated language surrounding black characters, though, i’m not a fan of the whole ‘we aren’t so different’ speech ian has (because it rests on ‘we all believe in a higher power’ which uh. i don’t. guess that means i’m not ‘civilised’. also generally i don’t like the argument that we should respect each other because of what we have in common - you should respect other people whatever!), and the prologue at the beginning where they muse on history and destiny assumes that the english invaders and the arabs are both equally right in their own ways (the doctor outright says this!)

the space museum by glyn jones so, i really like the space museum. mainly for vicki’s revolutionary fervour, but there are other reasons too. however, i don’t think that this really adds enough to be of interest - although we do get some information about the two alien species’ biology, and a bonus explanation of why everyone speaks english (the moroks briefly considered invading earth so programmed some earth languages into their translation system). there’s a bit more wandering around the museum, some minor tweaks and expansions in other areas, an underground tunnel scene where we learn a bit of the planet’s backstory...ian and the doctor are very snippy to each other in this, which i find funny. oh yeah, and there’s a bizarrely meta bit where ian comments on poor dialogue? basically, this is a book i enjoyed, but really it just makes me want to watch the space museum instead of reading it. just a heads up, there’s a character who briefly considers suicide to get out of his bosses being angry with him. 

the chase by john peel ok before i get started i need to establish that the cover for this one slaps. anyway, i don’t respect john peel at all but this was...alright? doesn’t expand much plotwise (although i suspect both the sand monsters at the beginning and the plants at the end have slightly more to do) but we get a fair bit of pov stuff. unfortunately lacking ian’s dad dancing and hi-fi the panda, the marie celeste bit is no longer played for comedy (barbara angsts over it) and even though the two paragraphs dragging morton dill are kinda funny i’m not sure how i feel about him being committed for claiming he saw daleks. ian and barbara’s departure plays out a little differently. steven is blond for some reason. we learn as well that daleks are charged by solar panels (at least they’re pro-green energy??)

the time meddler by nigel robinson pretty competent, straight down the middle novelisation, although that is tempered by inserting some weird sexist bits for steven and also lowkey being nostalgic for 11th century england at a few points? it’s also a bit more violent than we see on tv, and if anything the rape is more loudly implied, so heads up. other than that, there are a few minor embellishments (we’re explicitly told the dr and monk recognise each other, vicki tells steven that the tardis is important to her because it’s her home, a few differences between the monk’s tardis and the doctor’s are described, vicki views steven following her as a triumphant victory in their power struggle which i personally find funny), and there’s a prologue (recapping steven’s arrival in the tardis) and an epilogue (which delays the monk’s discovery of the broken tardis because he walks to hastings first to try and get involved there). i had fun, but it’s not a must read. 

[winchester-with-wings]

Burnin’ Up

Barry Allen x Meta!Reader / Patron Benefit Fanfic!

Author’s Notes: As always, it's taking me forever to write these fics but I've made a commitment to my patrons with fic requests and I wanna keep at it! So thank you for your continued support! I wrote this is one sitting! Isn't that amazing? For me it is haha! This is for the wonderful Jasmine ( @our-marvel-universe​ )! This was inspired by the Human Torch in Fantastic Four.

Summary/Request:     "Are you out of your damn mind?"

Word Count: 1400ish

Wanna get previews, early access and make exclusive requests? Become a Patron! You can follow my Patreon for free too as some stuff becomes public after a while.

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————————————————–

Barry and Iris had been proven time and again that they were good team leaders. When a new recruit was brought to Team Flash, there were training wheels and you were crazy to think you would be an exception.

The limits of your power were unknown and you were itching to push yourself. Literal firepower had not been seen since Caitlin's husband Ronnie Raymond. The fireproof tech had been lock away and Cisco was still digging it all up.

How hot could you get? Temperature wise…because let's be real…Barry's speed was ironic because he used to be late all the time…and you? You never would've described your self as hot…or attractive or any other word for it. If anything, you were a hot mess. When you'd gotten your powers, you'd been exposed to a propane tank explosion. You were just grateful to survive. But burning through your clothes…that wasn't fun.

Luckily, Barry's speed required Cisco to work on friction and heat resistant material. You just wish it wasn't so tight and revealing. It was a second skin. Black and sleek like snake skin with red stitching and accents. A blank red emblem was on your chest until Cisco had finished designing it.

"It's meant to be tight," Cisco says that day while you're blushing. Barry averts his eyes; Ralph tries and fails not to stare. Caitlin is smiling and looking at your face instead, reassuring. "You can wear it under your clothes so that you don't singe your favorite shirt."

"I don't know if I can take that risk just yet. Guess I'll just stick to sweats and old t-shirts," you say, shirking on one of the spare STARS Labs shirts that Caitlin offered earlier.

"Girl, it looks good," Cisco grins, admiring his work. "Black and red looks good on you. Tomorrow we can test your limits in a hot box. Any ideas on a name?" You open your mouth. Cisco laughs. "Just kidding, I'm working on that too."

---

You step into a metal box with walls at least 6 inches thick with small holes for venting.

"Good thing I'm not claustrophobic," you snark.

"Take your time. Don't push yourself," Barry says over a speaker system. You're alone in this lab. You feel like a bug under a microscope…or maybe an ant under a magnifying glass, seconds away from bursting into flames. Yeah that sounds about right.

The fire licks at your finger tips. Your heart is starting to beat rapidly. It's like Caitlin had noted before. The fire inside reacts to your emotions and physiology. You take some deep breaths. You and Iris had been practicing meditation together and it had served you well. But this time, the fire pulses with each breath like pumping oxygen into a fire.

Every 3 seconds, the fire grows, crawling up your arms. It sparks from your fingers and from your chest until there is a thin layer of flames engulfing you.

You hear the final click as the metal box closes, securing you within.

"Slow and steady," Barry coaches you.

"Her vitals are steady," Caitlin says in the background.

As the fire around you builds, your hair goes loose and flowing. You open your eyes. It was always scary to expose your eyes but you'd discovered quickly it was safe for you to do so. You turn your head and your hair is moving and floating in waves as if you're underwater. You raise your hands to you face, observing the fire as the flames shift color and temperature.

"I can go hotter," you say, extending your fingers for a burst of energy. You could sense that the fire was hot but it didn't hurt you. It felt warm and safe, like you'd created a safe space around you where no one could get to you.

The entire box, essentially the size and shape of an elevator car, is filled with your fire. The flames extend past it, flowing through the ventilation. The air is thick and distorted by the heat. The metal looks like it's sweating. Was it melting?

The edges of your uniform start to fray.

"Cisco, I thought you said this suit could withstand the fire?" you speak up over the roar of your fire. The camera that used to be in the box is gone. Destroyed.

"It was supposed to. Y/N, you're burning up."

"I know!" you cheer yourself on.

"No! It's too hot!" Barry shouts.

"I can do more!" Reaching deep within yourself you fill the fire burst from your limbs. You're not wearing shoes and you start to feel the soles of your feet lift off the floor. There's a force from your hand propelling you upward but only slightly. Is something happening? Do you know what it is?

Before you can figure it out, you're sprayed with automated fire extinguishers. But it can't even reach your skin, the fire is protecting you.

"You need to stop," you hear Caitlin say over the speakers. You hold your breath. Hold everything in. The fire on your skin stops but the box is still aflame, red hot and melting.

Suddenly, you feel like you're in vortex and the air around you is thinning. Your hair is caught up in the wind as you realize that Barry is running around you, putting out the flames and effectively suffocating you!

You collapse into a bed of foam. The room goes dark as you lose consciousness but you hear Iris shout Barry's name, stopping him in his tracks.

--

You're in the clinic, attended to by Caitlin. Your baseline temperature is well over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

"You were practically hotter than a bomb. The next hottest thing was going to be the sun. There could've been dangerous consequences," she explains to you. Your tears evaporate on your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. We're okay and so are you. Your suit though…didn't fair as well."

"Oh, no," you say, fighting back a chuckle, looking at the pile of ash and fabric in the corner.

"Cisco has a name for you now though. Supernova." A smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. You like it.

"Caitlin, I think I can…" You try to sit up but Caitlin gently pushes you down. Her hands are cold and there's steam when she touches your skin.

"You need to rest."

"But Caiti--"

"She said you needed to rest," Barry says, stepping into the room as reinforcement. "Are you okay?" His arms are crossed over his chest and you wish you could sink into the mattress and hide from his disapproval.

"You nearly killed me," you say scornfully, turning your head away from him.

--

The next time you see Barry, you're standing on the roof of STAR Labs.

It's been a week and the fire within you is building like a volcano.

"I can do this."

"Y/N? Are you out of your damn mind?! What are you doing up here?"

You're in your new suit. It's not even finished, providing coverage for the modest body parts at least. It's kind of sexy. And with what you're about to do, you need that confidence.

"Barry…I think I can fly."

"What? No, you can't!"

"I can. You'll see. Sometimes you need to jump before you can run." Blue flames dance at your fingertips, dripping down your legs.

"Stop! You can't. Don't do this!"

"Trust me."

You jump.

"Nooo!!" Barry screams as you plummet off the roof. Your flames are small and imperceptible at first as the wind streams past you. You can hear the crackle of Barry's lightning as he starts running down the side of the building.

"Come on!" You urge yourself, tensing your muscles and urging the fire to burst out of you.

It finally does, just before it's too late.

It propels you up and forward, away from the building. You leave behind a trail of flames but you're able to fly a few laps around STAR Labs until you land on the south lawn, burning the grass beneath you. You don't land gracefully either. Your knees buckle and you fall over. You could create a fire angel in the grass if you wanted but you'll be too busy dealing with Barry.

"Y/N! What the hell!?" He kneels beside you and reaches out to touch you but his fingers sizzle on your skin. "Ouch. Dammit, Y/N, you're out of your mind."

"No. Not at all. But I can fly. And you're just jealous," you giggle, riding the thrill and adrenaline. Barry groans and gets to his feet, frowning.

"No. Not at all," he copies you. "But at least I'm wearing clothes." You look down and realize that your suit has burned away once more. You squeal, covering your body.

"Don't look!"

"If you won't listen to me, then I don't have to listen to you. I can take in the sights if I want."

Still the gentleman, he offers his hoodie.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. You're the one who's going to explain why Cisco has to make you another suit."

"Crap," you grumble. Hopefully, the fact that you can fly will smooth that over though…

—————————

Tagging: @abbessolute @autoblocked @book-loving--anime-chick @karazoiel​ @overlyobsethed​  @therealcap​  @whoopxd​  @bookworm4ever99​ @geeksareunique​ @pottxrwolff​ @barry-writes​ @ravenhaviland​ @clockblobber​ @softdudebro​ @melaninspice11​ @parkerschurros​ @woaahkelsey​ @montytheravenclaw​ @sanya-gryff​ @smutfornerds​ @fabinapercabeth4179​ @faithtrustandpixiedust95​ @thinkwritexpress-official​ @ladylizzieofdarbyshire​ @percyjackson886​

[thefightingbull]

It’s Started Out With A Kiss

@elloryia ColdWave adopts Jason continuation

“The Flash kissed me,” Leonard Snart said casually. When Mick Rory’s face turned red he added quickly, “On the cheek.”

“Why?”

Lisa Snart and Jason Rory wisely stayed silent as they continued eating their meal. Jason in particular shoved a large floret of broccoli in his mouth just in case he was asked a question.

“He was having a hard time; it was back when he killed the meta thing.” Leonard shrugged before taking a bite of his dinner.

Mick set down his silverware and started to rise.

“Hey!” Jason called before Mick could storm off. “You haven’t finished your broccoli.”

“I’m an adult. I don’t have to. I’ve already grown!” Mick shouted as he left the kitchen and headed straight for their bedroom.

“That’s bullshit!” Leonard and his son snapped at the exact same time.

His pup ducked his head when Leonard turned and scowled. 

“Sorry, Daddy,” Jason said with a sheepish smile. Another second of glaring had the boy rolling his eyes and then reciting with a huff: “Only grownups can talk like that.”

Lisa grinned at Leonard from the table. “I got it, Lenny. Go see if you can console your ornery mate.”

Len took his sister’s suggestion and found his mate more than ready for him. The moment the door was shut again, Mick shouted, “That fucking alpha speedster is dead, Len! Dead! I don’t care how pretty you think he is! I don’t care if he’s Jason’s favorite! He’s dead! I ain’t afraid of him!”

Len hid a smile behind his hand as he watched Mick pace and posture. Especially as his lover kept puffing out his chest.

When it wasn’t in public, Leonard could admit he found it somewhat adorable: seeing an alpha spin himself out of control and work himself up with thoughts of anger and revenge. Well, to be honest, he didn’t like seeing any alpha do that except Mick. It was what drew Leonard to his mate in the first place. The man’s anger and rage on his behalf anytime Len showed up with a black eye or a busted lip…

It touched his ice-cold heart in a way few things ever did.

“Mick.” 

The alpha turned and stared as Leonard approached and offered a hand, the inside of his right wrist. 

“Look at me, Mick.”

Mick turned his face into the offered wrist, still angry, but settling down as he nuzzled him. “I can’t… I can’t share you with another alpha, I don’t care if he is funny or we like flirting with him. You know me. I’m too much, even for the softest alphas.”

Leonard grinned as he stepped forward and into his alpha’s personal bubble. He enjoyed the scent Mick gave off when angry. It was like fire wood and always warmed him. “I would never betray you, Mick. You know that.”

“That kid is younger, more powerful, he’s…” Mick growled.

“He’s not the one that sat with me in the hospital,” Leonard whispered.

He hated talking about that night. Hated thinking about it. But he would, for his mate, Len would endure awful memories.

“Barry wasn’t there to hold my hand,” he continued, and tried to hide the emotion sneaking into his voice. “Barry didn’t hear what the doctors said to me, Mick. You did.”

Mick’s rumbling voice cracked, causing Len’s own heart to flutter with worry at the sound. “No, Lenny, you don’t have to go back there. Not for me, Babe.”

Leonard closed his eyes. More than anything, he wanted to turn back the clock. He wanted to do something, anything, to prevent his sire from laying that beating down. From nearly killing him. From taking away any chance Len would ever have to provide his alpha with pups.

He held tight to Mick, letting the alpha provide him with strength, security, and safety. If Mick had been older, if he’d been given the opportunity, Leonard knew that Lewis Snart would have died then. As it was, Lewis still didn’t have the courage to show his face anywhere near himself or his sister.

“We have a pup, Omega. You found him. You.” Mick didn’t let him go as he continued to speak. “If it had been me, I probably woulda left him behind.”

Leonard looked up into his eyes. “Maybe, but Jason would have followed after you like a lost puppy.”

Mick chuckled and the sound filled him with an emotion much stronger than admiration. “We should get back on topic while you’ve still got me in a good mood.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at his alpha’s words. “Right.” Leonard took a deep breath. “Barry Allen isn’t a threat to you, alpha.”

“Oh?”

“Our little Flash has been keeping a big secret.” Leonard nuzzled into Mick’s neck, nipping and kissing as he wrapped his arms around Mick’s waist.

“Kid can’t keep secrets; he sucks at them,” Mick chuckled.

Leonard grinned as he looked Mick in his hazel green eyes. “I know, which is why I figured out that our Scarlet isn’t an alpha.”  

“No way! I’ve smelled the speedster. You’ve smelled him!”

It was impossible not to keep his smile as Leonard continued to stare into his mate’s eyes. “When he kissed me, I noticed an artificial scent. You know the one,”

Mick’s eyes widened in shock. “The one you used to wear to hide your status from Lewis!”

He nodded. “I recognized that scent and knew it at once. Did a little casing and found out the kid’s an omega.”

Leonard bit his lip to keep from making some silly omega noise at the sight of his alpha’s pupils blowing wide. He didn’t resist devouring Mick’s mouth as they kissed long and hard. Nothing turned Mick on more than seeing Leonard working over another omega, but after a few tries, they’d always struggled to find the right one.

Either Mick wasn’t attracted to the other omega, or Leonard got jealous. There was still a lot to do. To test, to plan and to enact, but Leonard was a professional thief. Planning was usually just as fun as the doing in his line of work, and getting to know and courting Barry Allen could be just as fun as making a score.

What they really needed to know before they pursued the speedster was whether or not Barry was any good with Jason…

 Barry’s heart raced as he searched his entire lab. Why the hell had Len and Mick dropped little Jason Rory off with him? Well, he knew what they said the reason was, but he didn’t trust the shifty look in Leonard’s eyes. It felt like he was being tested, like he was being watched. And normally, Barry didn’t mind.

Except that right then? He was failing!

Failing with McKenzie Rory and Leonard Snart’s pup!

He ran down the steps. “Anyone seen a kid? He’s ten years old, this tall” — he held out his hand to a little above his hip — “black curly hair, bright bluish or greenish eyes? Anyone?”

A couple of uniforms smirked, but no one had an answer. Oh, man. He was so dead. If people found out that Jason was Mick and Len’s pup, he’d be fired. Even if they didn’t have proof or enough evidence to arrest the thieves, they could still cut Barry loose.

Barry couldn’t believe his morning!

But then, Mick had honestly scared the hell out of him. The big pyromaniac had just shown up, handed the little boy over and said, “Here, Scarlet, since you seem so hell-bent on joining my pack, you get to watch the pup for the day.”

And then he left!

Barry rounded a corner, hunting desperately for Jason, and ran straight into Joe. Oh no. This was not good. He didn’t want to run into Joe. It was Saturday! Shouldn’t he be at home? Was he working this weekend? Crap! Why hadn’t he just told Mick no!

Oh wait, he remembered. Because Mick had said “joining my pack” and it had actually sounded kind of… Whoa! Now was not the time! 

“He-hey, Joe, what’s, what up?” He asked, swallowing down all the stress and fear of the day.

Joe stared as if Barry had grown a second head. Did he know? Of course Joe knew, right? He was a detective. Thankfully, Joe appeared to shake it off. 

“Hey, Barry, do you know why there’s a kid in the holding cells?”

Barry’s eyes widened in terror. “He’s where?”

Nearly slamming into several officers, Barry and Joe ran down to the cells. What would Barry do if Jason was hurt? It wasn’t like Captain Cold and Heatwave didn’t have competitors out there? What would they do for a chance at hurting the kid? Barry’s stomach rolled at the thought, but he had to keep it together. 

As soon as he made it down the steps, Barry stared in horror.  Somehow, Jason had managed to get himself inside the cell with four other criminals, a gang of thieves who failed to rob a bank earlier that morning. But that wasn’t the strange part.

Jason was laughing on one side while the thieves were all on the opposite side.

“Wanna see something funny, Uncle Barry?”

“Uncle?” Joe glared. “Who is this pup?”

Jason waited until Barry’s eyes were on him before he ran to where the thieves were all seated. Immediately, the four grown men jumped or scooted to the other side of the cell, with Jason giggling at his incredible power over them.

“Hey, whoa, now.” Joe stepped up after calling for a uniform to bring the keys over. “Why are you guys ducking this kid like that?”

“Are you crazy? That’s Captain Cold and Heatwave’s pup,” the supposed leader scoffed. “We don’t want our scents on that kid when they get him back!”

Jason laughed even more hysterically, but all Barry could focus on was Joe’s wide, dark brown eyes and the “you are so dead” glare on his adoptive father’s face.

“Did they just say this kid belongs to Snart and Rory?”

Barry grimaced at Joe as Jason came out of the cell at the behest of the uniform. As soon as he was out, the little boy stood by Barry’s side and tugged on his hand.

“When my Daddy looks at me like that I usually just go to my room and get it over with,” Jason informed him.

Yeah, Barry was in so much trouble.