#meta in rbs

[gumy-shark]

thinks about the big cleanup arc again

[psyche-reads]

The first act of Alecto is Harrow descending into hell. There are nine circles of hell in Dante’s Inferno. There are nine dead lyctoral cavaliers. There are nine resurrection beasts. Nona the Ninth implies the cavaliers are fighting the resurrection beasts Somewhere. Theory: in Alecto, Harrow will encounter each dead cav/corresponding RB one by one, liberating their souls a la the biblical harrowing of hell, culminating in her reuniting with the fragment of Gideon’s soul she consumed in a manner not unlike Dante’s Beatrice. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[iridescentscarecrow]

i love this moment, the way yoru wields the disposability of asa's body over her; the way this is followed up w/ her disposing the twig she is unable to weaponise.

the two's relationship is crouched on such levels of intimacy & utility — & especially w/ the revelations of the last few chapters, that undercurrent of fear from early p1 hammering back home.

i'm also really normal about yoru kissing denji in the end. i think like in part obviously with prior chapters — the stress on "growing up" with the backdrop of normality made me very invested in a domestic horror-esque direction for asa & denji. factoring yoru in here makes it even more interesting: you already have this — threat of war, mother figure slash nationalist icon, who operates through possessory violence — superimposed on the body of a teenage girl. & the fact yoru articulates this through denji — her inability to possess (as part of her claim to power) in this world turns into a frustrated recourse towards sexual ownership over him (who is simultaneously internalising the idea of "punishment"). this is right at the heels of her stopping herself from hitting him because of his "stupidity."

it's intensely fucked up, especially because it re-enacts the earlier scene of SA [yoru vav asa & denji in that alleyway]. there's a dispossession of asa's own body. "hasn't this happened before?" asa & denji: thrust into the idea of "growing up", mediated on having your body taken away from you, having your body be violated without your consent, all framed into a kind of "romance", into cycles of abuse & Family well trodden, within aging's picturesque land which swallows you up into its landscape and transforms you into its history, in the end.

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

[umbrellacam]

personally I do think apologies were merited on both sides of the Dick & Tim conflict in RR, but also it's fine that it didn't explicitly happen or get talked out in a more stereotypically ""healthy"" way bc. they are not me, lol. they're emotionally avoidant Bats who are used to brushing past/letting go of things for the people they care about, and to accepting actions/unspoken understanding in lieu of words.

I find it very believable based on their characters, their relationship, and both of their pasts for them to consider the matter for the most part satisfactorily resolved based on the Big Gestures and reaffirmation of trust between the two of them at the end of the Collision arc.

if we'd gotten an apology from one of them but not the other, seemingly validating just one side, that would have been annoying. for me it's either they both apologize or neither does but they move on with understanding and no real hard feelings anyway - which is what happened.

I do find it kind of hilarious that this works for Dick and Tim because they care for and understand each other on that unspoken level - but Damian doesn't yet. So the two of them just smiling and nodding to each other in manly fashion and moving on after RR #12 leaves us in a situation where Tim is swinging along with Dick and Damian in RR #13 thinking, "It feels good. More than that, it feels right. Yes, even Damian as Robin" - meanwhile Damian is hacking Tim's private files and trying to drop billboards on him in RR #14 like a Looney Toons character because what he knows is that Tim was angry and unwilling to give up Robin to him specifically, and he's convinced that Tim still hasn't accepted that he's Robin - due to both the "hit list" that he found and because Tim's acceptance of the situation has largely been unspoken.

Like that acceptance is pretty clear to Dick and anyone who knows Tim well, but Damian very much does not know Tim well at that point, lol.

[schizononagesimus]

tlt lang analysis update: it's driving me crazy thinking about sixth house linguists. like. i havent looked for it yet but im aware on new rho House is referred to as, well, House. if it's ever referred to as english im gonna go insane because they have greek and latin in canon so they absolutely have a way to decipher that word, but do they have enough knowledge of pre-resurrection history to know WHY it's called english? also, what in terms of a lingua franca? is it only the Houses that have a lingua franca? are there other languages within the Houses? im losing my fucking mind

[freckliedan]

could you expand on your thoughts why you think dan and phil havent always been monogamous? super curious! i kind of get the same vibe.

i'm happy to expand on it tbh! it's something i think and talk a lot about with my friends.

i'm hesitant about going in depth because i've found that's when people find it okay to say deeply shitty things to me, a polyamorous person, under the guise of academic debate/it just being a difference of opinion. but i'm also not going to let the possibility of that stop me?

ANYWAYS.

quite honestly the biggest thing for me is just. taking dan and phil at their word? even when parsing something true through them saying things in silly ways that's the easiest way to be right about them.

we noticed and believed in the underlying truth in their gay jokes before they were out. people are willing to entertain the bondage and mpreg and various other horny jokes as containing some kernel of truth. more people than literally any point in time are willing to believe there's some substance to dan's career-long mentions of gender.

but for whatever reason (mononormativity) the comments about them being attracted to/flirting with/being interested in other people get written off as 100% joking and funny because they're the most monogamous people ever & because they get jealous easily. and that just? sucks.

i think they've always been committed. like, phil brought dan home to meet his parents at their very first christmas together type committed. planning to spend the rest of their lives together from 3 months into the relationship committed.

but also like? that coexists with the fact that dan wasn't able to come out to himself as gay until the lead up to basically i'm gay. 2018 or maybe 2017, i think. @freckliephil or @phulge has brought up the idea to me before that part of why they didn't label their relationship to us in 2019 may have been because they were still in flux with labeling it for themselves.

dan has also always had commitment issues due to how he saw his parents' relationship function/due to his home life growing up and i'm NOT going to elaborate on this one but it is so obvious.

(consider this whole post informed by conversations with aries and roper btw).

i think the idea that dan and phil were secure in their connection but not in a place where they had to (or could, on dan's part) ascribe labels to it in the early years is realistic?

and i think their commitment and security can coexist with the idea of like. "i think it's hot seeing you kiss other people for attention at parties and come home with me". + i genuinely think the fantastic foursome explored each other's bodies on the italy trip. etc.

i definitely think there would've been huge stretches of monogamy, and i do think that there was jealousy before they found their footing and felt comfortable in their commitment. (different rant, but i think most of what gets read as jealousy these days is them dong a bit/possessiveness).

but i think there's also always been points in time where they were either theoretically or in practice fine with having sexual experiences with other people. that wouldn't've really been possible during their deep closet era, and i don't think it was COMMON beforehand.

but i also think that it's definitely something possible after they came out.

i think people hear me say this and assume i'm degrading the incredible and beautiful love and commitment dan and phil share. that i'm reducing queer men's relationships down to sex only.

but like. i'm not fucking doing that! the people making those assumptions are doing that! and saying a lot about how they view non monogamy too!

i'm saying i think they're so secure in their love and relationship that they're literally completely unbothered and not threatened by potentially having an open relationship. devotion is not only present in monogamous relationships.

WAD makes sense as a point of post coming out timing for another open period in their relationship to me. quite honestly i could see phil being the one to suggest it to dan? 2019 thru the close of WAD was dan's self actualization era.

growing up in the context of a single committed relationship does things to you psychologically. your identity formation happens side by side with another person and even if the relationship isn't controlling and toxic you can really lose sight of your individuality, if you're not careful. this is even easier to have happen if you share all of your friends, live together, AND work together. ESPECIALLY if you're significantly closeted in some way.

i know this because i've also lived it. believe me when i say dan NEEDED to figure out who he was as an individual. we saw him do that in several iterations artistically/careerwise. but we also saw his interest in experiencing queer culture in ways he missed out on when he was young and closeted.

so i think dan actually WAS on the apps, when he was touring WAD. i wouldn't be surprised if that was phil's idea, even. a "don't worry, go see the world, we've been open before, i'm not worried you won't want to come home to me, nobody's gonna match your freak like i do". i think phil would've had the option too but probably would've taken it less.

and i think it's like. like they're best friends! it's something they would've been talking about with each other. i think it could've been foreplay to them sometimes. i think it could've been what catapaulted dan into his top era. (this is a seperate essay from drs. frecklie, frecklie and phulge as well).

most importantly we think dan came back from the first leg of WAD having completely exorcised his fear of commitment and. wait i have to find a specific message. nevermind you're getting 3 screenshots without any further context

anyways. i can't find the specific point where we said this so it was maybe an in person conversation but the rest of the idea is that experiencing other options resulted in dan coming back from WAD and proposing. and phil proposing the gaming channel return right back. we 1000% said this before phil mentioned that he's the one who suggested the gaming channel return i just can NOT fucking find receipts on that because we largely voice message.

this has been an entire ramble that touched on a lot of different subjects but. yeah. dan and phil aren't polyamorous in the "both dating another person as a couple/other people as individuals" sense nor will they ever be. but there's sooo much room between that and strict monogamy.

and a lot of that in between is in perfect alignment with the ways they've talked about their lives over the years and is yet another extension of them having a level of trust love and intimacy in their relationship that most people will never experience. so

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[blakbonnet]

so we have not seen the crop top this season, including Ed's dream/purgatory sequence, and last season he stopped wearing it when Jack came around which only means one thing - the slut tops were purely for stede's benefit ✌️

[g1deonthefirst]

tbh, i feel like ppl who leap to paint wake as a "bad mom" are doing it from a place of misogyny. as you said, Gideon's feelings towards wake are totally valid, but imo we should talk more abt how wake being so desperate that she had to impregnate herself with the material of her enemy is actually horrifying. of course she wasn't going to have any maternal feelings towards g; she already had pash, and the whole pregnancy must have just felt like a massive violation on every level

i think this is actually responding to @pyrrhadves' post more than mine, and i don't want to speak for him, but i definitely agree with this. the tendency to reduce characters who are mothers (and even female characters who aren't) down to "good mom/bad mom" is common across fandoms but i think it's particularly egregious here; wake never wanted to be a mother, was clearly desperate to do anything that she thought might kill john and dismantle the nine houses that had been persecuting non-house peoples for nearly ten thousand years, and was also clearly traumatized by the act of impregnating herself and giving birth (the reproductive equipment and the notes to augustine and mercymorn in the river bubble come to mind). and the trauma of this is a continuation of a larger theme of autonomy violations and reproductive trauma that we see throughout tlt. obviously you can feel however you want about choosing to impregnate yourself specifically to kill the baby (though i think that a lot of people ignore wake's motivations for doing so and try to make it out to be less complicated than it is), but to reduce her whole character "gideon's awful mom" is a real disservice both to a complex and interesting female character and to tlt's overarching themes.

[tepkunset]

So. That PowerPoint I joked about making? Turns out I am even more passionate about this than I thought.

[violetdisasterzone]

when will the "joke" about binghe fucking shen qingqiu's corpse die 😭😭😭😭 I'm begging. it's such a heartbreaking plot point and it says so much about binghe's grief and devotion and love for shen qingqiu. and he was so offended by that misconception when it came up in roc bc he would NEVER. and idc if it's a joke I'm tired of it being such a common thing to bring up as if it's fact or something he would have ever considered!!

[bookalicent]

another day another post of acting like jaime was cersei's victim and didn't have at least some autonomy of his actions towards her

[lord-montgomery]

hating on or condemning simon because he "cheated" has always felt like just such a clear misread of the situation to me. i'm not gonna say he didn't fuck up but he also didn't ..cheat. if isabelle could date multiple people at once why couldn't he? he was just matching the energy isabelle brought to the table. and honestly i think it was his right to do so, maybe not with maia, but no one told him that was a rule.

and as he noticed things were getting more serious he did have instincts knocking at his heart telling him he needed to break it off with one of them. he just put it off too long. the reason we're given for this is that he didnt want to hurt either of them, and while i'm sure that's true, i don't think that's the whole story. because lbr by cofa the choice was clear. but that choice would also be an admittance that he wants isabelle more than she wants him. and he's been through that before. he's been the guy always prioritzing someone who has other priorities. and he can't be that again.

when everything does come to a head, both girls do get upset, but maia forgives him so much faster than isabelle does. and i think it's izzy's reaction that a lot of people base their perception of this situation on. but the thing is.. simon didn't know about izzy's cheating-based trauma. or that what he did would get mixed up in that. and ik i've said this before but her reaction also had a hell of a lot to do with anger at herself for letting simon have that kind of affect on her, rather than the simple facts of his actions. she went into self-preservation mode.

i just don't think the severity of his misdemeanor can be measured by the black and white metric of dating two people = cheating and cheating = unforgivable. even if it cut izzy deeper than expected.

[iridescentscarecrow]

this panel is absurd but it's also interesting how these aren't generic funds. specific reference to education (affirmed by how denji chooses to raise nayuta) / literally burning away her own outside-war possibility with war mimicking imagery.

like this paired w. them dressing in school uniforms while infiltrating this military facility. the guys on the monitor going "high school girls? let's go ahead & shoot them." balancing the fact that they ~are~ school girls to create this absurd effect. these kids are being put to war

[starstrike]

I'm obsessed with how Shivers will outright tell you that the anodic music kids will fail. I think this implies that, even if you build up the club, nobody will ever visit it.

I think this was one of the times in Disco Elysium that I really... got it. After reading this, I decided to tell the kids to scram. They wouldn't succeed anyways. It felt terrible. I reloaded my save; I couldn't stand to do anything else. Just because hope, beauty, or love are temporary, does that make them any less valuable? Just because you know something will be snuffed out doesn't mean you shouldn't try. That hope and love is valuable for its own sake.

At the time, I was going through a severe depressive episode. I was moving out in six months before moving cross country, so why should I bother investing into my environment? I had this old fish tank I'd poured effort into, once. Got some new fancy aquasoil that would be great for my plants, but it needed time sitting underwater. I left it like that for… oh, months. This damaged, empty, sad little thing that I had once loved immensely.

But building that nightclub with those kids made me change my behavior. I got myself a $6 betta fish, shoplifted some plants from petco, and built my tank up again. Even knowing I'd need to break it apart. So what if it ends? So what if the dance club never becomes popular? You build something and dance with your community, even if your dream fails. Even if it ends. There was love there.

And I think that's one of the things Disco Elysium is about. The kids and their nightclub is a microcosm of the knowledge that the pale is enroaching on Insulinde and the rest of the world. There is a literal, tiny, hole in the world inside of that church. The hole is another reminder of entropy, of the End. And all of this takes place in an edifice of a centuries-old regime and a religion of maintaining the status quo. A religion of broken glass and broken promises. But you take those shards and build on top of them, transforming their meaning. You grow, you build, instead of apathetically letting things remain the same. You find hope and beauty and love even though you know it's unsustainable.

Because the 'now' is valuable in itself. And I love that about this game.

[bisexualmcqueen]

sat down and watched COTR two years late, enjoy excerpts from my liveblog :

part 1