lord-montgomery

[lord-montgomery]

you ever think about the added challenge of dating simon after max..

you guys stop into the comic shop because it's on the way and simon wants to grab something, and you think nothing of it until you notice the title max had brought with him to idris featured on a shelf. and you freeze. simon notices and takes your hand, asks if everything's okay. and there's a piece of you that just wants to sob into his chest, but everything is still so new and you're still so guarded and the thought of breaking down like that makes you mad enough to clear your head and tell him enough of the truth without belying the pain. but when you try to pull your hand away, he tightens his grip for just a moment before letting you go. and you try to pretend that didn't mean nearly as much to you as it did.

and when you think of it.. you're glad simon doesn't wear glasses anymore, because of all the people in the world who wore glasses, you really only knew max. they'll always be associated with him in one way or another, and the reminder would be too constant.. years from now, though, simon will wear them again and all you'll think when you see him is simon, but that doesn't mean there won't still still be moments. you'll come home one day to find that he's fallen asleep on the couch. you won't want to rouse him, so you'll bend down to gently slide the crooked glasses off his face. and the muscle memory will be a flashback to all the times you did this for max. and then you'll wake simon anyway just so he can hold you.

[lord-montgomery]

Trying

Rating: Explicit

Length: 7.8K

Summary: Five years into her marriage, Isabelle finds herself once again asking the question she can't seem to escape from: Is she ready to have kids? It's a risk she doesn't feel she can ignore any longer, and her answer has the potential to change everything.

It’s something of a ritual now—standing naked in front of the mirror as hot water runs cold behind her, watching the last of the pigment fade to reveal the white scar beneath. In a minute, she'll step into the shower, imagine a life with children, and let the water disguise the tears she won't admit are hers.

Read on AO3

[lord-montgomery]

omg i didn't think you'd answer that i'm so sorry

i've missed this blog <3<3 sizzy 4ever but of course no pressure

sizzy 4ever&ever indeed!

honestly my brain has just been pretty shit over the past couple months and i've only just started feeling like i can express myself again.. so hopefully there will be more sizzy posting soon <3 bc i've been missing it too! and knowing i'm not the only one is encouraging so ty <3

[lord-montgomery]

hewwo...

well hello there, anon <3

[lord-montgomery]

Best Sizzy moment in your opinion?

it's the bite scene. it has to be the bite scene.

the thing is.. this is the first truly intimate moment we have between the two of them. up until this point they've both been almost dancing around each other like a whirlpool, slowly moving closer and closer, leaning on each other, protecting each other, etc., but in ways that don't necessarily have to be acknowledged as indicative of just how much they mean to each other, yk?

and if isabelle hadn't gotten drunk the night before. if she hadn't let down her walls enough to invite him over just to sleep, and if that night hadn't set a precedent for this one where they are both sober and awake. if simon hadn't been hungry.. it's just one thing after another that strips the layers between them until it's just simon and isabelle. and the bit of forced vulnerability on simon's part leads izzy to give him pieces of herself as well. admittedly it's babysteps.. but that's still huge for izzy. she doesn't like seeing him like this. doesn't want him to put off prioritizing himself and his needs out of fear.. of himself, of izzy's opinion of him. because she does trust him. she does want him. so she shows him that. and as she does so she reveals, at minimum, the implication of her own insecurities in this situation. and those willing cracks in the facade of fearlessness she clings to are like the flecks of gold simon notices in her not-as-black-as-he-thought eyes.

the fact that the scene starts with the two of them awkwardly trying to fit together and ends with an easily achieved comfort, and that between those two moments sits a conversation dipping into vulnerability and intimacy.. i could hurt you. let me see your face. you're not nothing. nothing about you is ugly. they're a part of you. i trust you. i want to be with you. it scares the hell out of me. you are a heartbreaker. maybe you'll break my heart. ..it says so much. so much about what a shift this night is, even if its intangible, even if the result isn't that obvious. the shift toward ease and simplicity and security is there.

and don't even get me started on the metaphor of simon siphoning the output of isabelle's heart into himself. of izzy letting him. the acknowledgement that this is different than it has ever been before. in so many ways this is just a physical representation of everything they achieved through their conversation. it's izzy saying you need me. let me be here for you. let me let you use me. which is itself a reciprocation of not only the night before, when izzy needed simon and he came just for that reason, but also of moments like that in cog when he comes to her after max, and he lets her use him because it was what she needed. but it's deeper. it's vein-deep. and the pleasure they both get in the act of sharing blood is just proof of how right they are together. of how scary this whole thing is but also how worth it.

[lord-montgomery]

Do you know of any book couples who are similar to Sizzy? Can you recommend me books in which couples with the Sizzy dynamic? I tried searching for those; but couldn't really find what I wanted! Sorry if I bothered you! Thankyou! And, you have a great talent for putting words together! I love all your posts, especially the long ones!

i actually started a legit list of sizzy variants recently but somehow they're mostly from shows?? honestly a shame.. what i have for books are:

rahul and caterina (of princes and promises by sandhya menon) - though more in the ice queen x dweeb side of the spectrum, i'd def say they fall in a similar scope. i'm p sure they were actually the reason i realized how perfect a sizzy fake dating au would be so if that says anything hehe

clark and palmer (the unexpected everything by morgan matson) - another book that had me catching the *history of japan voice* "you could make an au out of this!" bug. at least the last time i reread it lol (i've probably read it like four times.. i love them) and honestly the sizzy similarities might not always be as prominent? but i promise if you love simon you will love clark.

dex and biana (keeper of the lost cities by shannon messenger) - i'm cheating here because while they are definitely a ship. as far as i know.. they still aren't anything canon after the ten books published in this series so far (i'm on book seven rn) but the potential man..

i honestly feel like these aren't even the best examples lol if i think of more i'll lyk <3 and i'd love to hear if anyone else has some variants to add to the list!!

[lord-montgomery]

Any sizzy Halloween headcanons you have

idk why but i just had an image of simon running around dressed as a vampire as a kid laughing and trading candy and then when he goes to bite into the chocolate bar the scene flickers and he's sixteen and biting into maureen.. so i guess i'll start off with the hc that he dressed up a vamp as a kid? bc that image is never leaving me o7

as for sizzy as a Unit..

izzy def would have had a pretty limited understanding of the holiday before hanging out with him and clary (halloween in its most basic form is pretty much every day for someone who can see the shadow world after all)

i do think simon was invited to a party with the band in 07 and i was gonna say shit was too crazy after cofa for him to have bothered going but i can see him mentioning the party in passing to izzy and her being like pls i am in desperate need of a party rn

but then they show up and it's so far from the last party they'd been to together (magnus's). like 20-30 kids packed into an apt in brooklyn and the music is loud and the costumes are so ridiculous

i think the guys probably wanted simon to use his sexy vampire mojo and show everyone up but come on this is a mundane halloween and simon's gonna take the opportunity to not be the daylighter for a bit

in the future him and izzy will definitely do coordinating couple costumes but not in 07 nosiree. simon throws something together from his closet. maybe he'll be a red shirt from star trek that would be funny since he actually can't die despite how many people want him to. izzy on the other hand gets some pointers from clary and decides to go as idk church or smth (clary: you could be a cat? / izzy: omg can i be church) something classic but also clever or personal

they go to the party, drink illicit booze, eat a bunch of candy, forget about sebastian and lilith and camille and everything else, and lose themselves in the teenageness of it all. and izzy decides she loves halloween

[lord-montgomery]

What do you think sizzys kids will be like

sizzy kids sizzy kids.. boy do i have. so many thoughts about them. and so few of them are definable. i tried to answer in words but it looked more like the descriptive text of a moodboard lol so i just went ahead and made a moodboard..

ftr the words were.. music, makeup, humility, pride, honesty, cuddles, cat people, alone-time, quiet expressions of love, understanding, protective, nerdy, competitive, strategic, cool, outspoken.

[lord-montgomery]

hating on or condemning simon because he "cheated" has always felt like just such a clear misread of the situation to me. i'm not gonna say he didn't fuck up but he also didn't ..cheat. if isabelle could date multiple people at once why couldn't he? he was just matching the energy isabelle brought to the table. and honestly i think it was his right to do so, maybe not with maia, but no one told him that was a rule.

and as he noticed things were getting more serious he did have instincts knocking at his heart telling him he needed to break it off with one of them. he just put it off too long. the reason we're given for this is that he didnt want to hurt either of them, and while i'm sure that's true, i don't think that's the whole story. because lbr by cofa the choice was clear. but that choice would also be an admittance that he wants isabelle more than she wants him. and he's been through that before. he's been the guy always prioritzing someone who has other priorities. and he can't be that again.

when everything does come to a head, both girls do get upset, but maia forgives him so much faster than isabelle does. and i think it's izzy's reaction that a lot of people base their perception of this situation on. but the thing is.. simon didn't know about izzy's cheating-based trauma. or that what he did would get mixed up in that. and ik i've said this before but her reaction also had a hell of a lot to do with anger at herself for letting simon have that kind of affect on her, rather than the simple facts of his actions. she went into self-preservation mode.

i just don't think the severity of his misdemeanor can be measured by the black and white metric of dating two people = cheating and cheating = unforgivable. even if it cut izzy deeper than expected.

[lord-montgomery]

hearing songs that i only know from my own sizzy playlist in the wild is so trippy like wdym people listen to these lyrics and don't think of izzy in cog only letting simon into her room and using him as a distraction after max

[lord-montgomery]

i feel like i've talked about this before.. but i can't help but think that if simon was able to subconsciously remember enough of his time with the gang to name his band the mortal instruments, wouldn't it be plausible for him to recall other stuff? i feel like there's some distinction between an emotional imprint and like an intellectualized memory.. and that's how the mortal instruments was dug up despite asmodeus' claim over simon's memories. and if we draw emotional imprinting to its natural conclusion.. idk i just. i can see simon post-edom writing lyrics to process everything he went to the previous fall. i think they'd come out of him and he'd be like huh.. where did that come from. and his bandmates would be like fuck dude you got a gf you keepin from us?? because the ones he shows them are so filled with feelings that are so obviously real and intense. feelings that to their knowledge, simon has never felt. and they couldn't attribute them to clary because of course clary never existed for them. and simon shrugs and says he must have been inspired. you live in new york, you pass people and their stories all the fucking time. love and heartbreak and friendship and that panging feeling of where do i belong.. it's everywhere.

i'd like to think that after the shadowhunter academy, when simon's memories have all been returned to him, he goes back to his room at his mom's place to sort through things, and he comes across pages and pages of these lyrics dissecting the emotional roller coaster of the very real events that occurred in fall 2007, the very real love he found, and the very real, if dormant, heartache that came with losing clary and isabelle both.

of course he'd still have a lot to process once the memories start returning, and once they come back in full, but i can imagine there having been this pang inside him that needed that time to recover emotionally from all that he'd endured, that sought out music and poetry, which speak from the soul more than the ego, to do whatever processing it could. and i think it would have prepared simon to be better suited to handle everything once it does come crashing down around him. and i think maybe finding those lyrics in a way feels like bringing together those aspects of his memory, because the brain doesn't always remember how things felt but his notebook certainly does.

[lord-montgomery]

i heard this song yesterday and these first two lines have been driving my sizzy brain crazy since, so i'm gonna dissect them okay? okay

apples are representative of a lot in western culture. evil and sin and strife--satan tempting eve; eris sparking discord between aphrodite, hera, and athena; the evil queen compelling snow white--but also somehow healing and knowledge--apples for teachers, apples to keep doctors away. i think about simon being kicked out because of his evil, sinful existence as a vampire. about him carrying the mark of cain on him, the mark of the first murderer in judeo-christian mythology. in many ways he is that apple. and it's tempting, but it's also not necessarily that ostensibly awful part of simon's applehood that feels so forbidden to izzy. because taking a bite of simon would delicious, special, and filling in a way that she's avoided for so long, in a way she's denied herself. and of course she bites, because that's what you do with apples, even knowing the consequences of strife aren't far behind.

twilight is change. it's the shift from life to death. it's bruised and beautiful. a brief, untether-able moment that's filled with potential and longing. in a lot of ways, twilight is the line simon walks.. the vampiric rhythm of existing in the night vs. his ability to walk in the sun, trying to hold onto life while being very much dead. and izzy meeting him there feels like something so significant. it's her telling him to stop covering his face to hide the fangs he couldn't control. but it's also more than that. because there is brevity there. if the twilight represents the time they have together in tmi, it is just what i described above--fleeting and dear with the impending night ready to pull them apart. it's something isabelle feels anyway given her insecurities, but it's also something that becomes evident and tanglible, this drop into the dark months before the sun begins to climb it's way back into the sky with simon's return.

and kissing like the sun... even in the twilit dark, they give each other these glimpses of peace and hope, izzy bringing life to simon in more ways than one, and simon, despite his tough relationship with the sun, consistently holding it up above izzy on the days when her own life gets darker than she deserves to handle alone.

anyway yes, in case you were wondering, i did definitely add this song to my auxiliary sizzy playlist

[lord-montgomery]

thinking about xoxoxoxox isabelle on this fine day

[lord-montgomery]

what do you think Izzy was like post cohf but pre tftsa? bring on the angst

okay i can't promise this will be coherent, but..

the first thing that comes to mind is angry. like.. i don't think i need to contextualize this for you, but just to get us in the headspace.. she really just gave her heart away. put the emphasis on any word in that sentence and it not only makes sense but just feels heavier and heavier. she fell in love in spite of herself, in spite of her fears and insecurities, in spite of her efforts and determination. and why would that not make her feel like the biggest fucking idiot?? she knew. she knew that falling in love would only result in pain and heartbreak and that that was a life she didn't want to live. and yet she did all that anyway. she put trust in simon, trust in the universe, and of course men and the universe will do what they do.. so can she really fault anyone but her own naive self?

she externalizes that anger too, snapping at her family, being especially brutal when she comes across demons during patrol etc. and the worst part is, that that anger doesn't take the other emotions away, it doesn't eradicate the love she felt for simon, that she still very much feels for him. she thinks of him and her heart hurts and it only makes her all the more angry. i think she waffles between being glad she never truly said the words "i love you" and regretting it. because now those words are just curdling inside her, a constant reminder of what she had and lost, and it makes her sick. like no, she never gave them away, but that also means she has to harbor the truth of them in her stomach. the truth of how much she's come to need him, of how every time she feels herself breaking down because of the heaviness of reality, it's his arms she craves.

she tries to forget. tries to move on like she's always been able to, tries to deny him like she's never been able to, but it doesn't work. of course it doesn't work. she tries to go out, to kiss boys, but all it does is pull her closer to tears. and it feels a little like she's the one being disloyal. because her heart still belongs to simon. because she never actually broke up with him. he may not remember that they are still together, but it's not like he wanted to ghost her. he loved her. and if he knew her.. he still would. but physicality has always helped her forget, helped her push those strong emotions deep inside. so she trains and she goes dancing, and she even lets a couple guys take her home. but no matter how intense the physical side gets, the emotions just rear their heads even stronger.

she's changed so much since meeting simon, since falling in love with him. and suddenly she isn't satisfied by hookups and bandaids. she wants someone to listen to her, to see her. someone to protect, someone to hold her hand. someone worth fighting for. she wants simon. she worries she's ruined. she worries she'll never be satisfied if he isn't simon. how could she find that again? would she even want to?

and i say she wants someone to talk to, but she definitely is not opening up to the people who are trying to be there for her. she closes herself off until she can properly mask her emotions, but her brothers aren't fooled by her act. clary has the best success when talking to izzy. not because she can offer consolation in any way, but because she gets it. because they can comfort each other in the loss of this person who meant the most to both of them. and when starving out the emotions doesn't seem to be working, izzy decides maybe .. maybe she should try the opposite. so clary starts to tell her stories. she talks about simon the way she grew up with him, talks about his favorite subjects in school and how he cried at his dad's funeral and the day he came home from his first guitar lesson. and izzy knows it helps clary too, to have someone who will appreciate these stories as well. who will appreciate a glimpse into the world clary lost.

but of course that also makes izzy feel even less deserving of the sense of absolute loss she feels when it comes to simon. like she had this guy in her life for what.. four months? why is she reacting so strongly?? why must this love have such a chokehold on her?? but the way she opened up to simon was something so unique and new that.. it wasn't just losing him. in a way, she'd lost a piece of herself too, the piece she'd never thought she'd give away. and fuck. it had felt so good. in all the anxiety.. it had felt good to be vulnerable with simon. it had been a piece of her that she'd relented. not freely given at first, but by the end.. it was absolutely his. and he took it with him. there was no getting that piece of her back.

no matter how hard she'd tried, she ended up with a man who hurt her, just like her mother warned. but she doesn't want to be like her father, either, marrying someone he doesn't truly love, mistreating them in that apathy.. not after what she felt with simon. not now that she knows what true love and heartbreak are. so she thinks well.. i guess i'll have to live off sex alone.

but like i said before, sex doesn't work. alec says she'll find someone, jace tries to distract her, any effort her mom makes is completely brushed aside.. and eventually she finds herself hoping. it's naive. its fucking dumb. but she starts.. stalking simon. just a little. she attends his shows, and she pays attention. she talks to people who have interacted with him since edom, and she pays attention. is there a piece inside him that's broken too? could he remember me? remember us? how bad would it be to just approach him. to kiss him and remind him of the truth.

she expresses these thoughts one night, after having had a little too much to drink at one of simon's shows and going to crash at magnus and alec's place. and magnus listens. he doesn't want to give her false hope, but he also doesn't want her to sink so far into this train of thought that she ends up approaching mundane simon in such a self-destructive way. so he tells her that if they found enough proof, they could try to jog his memory.

then izzy find the poster days after the band changes their name to the mortal instruments and the rest is history..

[lord-montgomery]

any thoughts on how Simon and Isabelle will be around their in laws, I know we got to see a bit of it in the later books but would love to hear your thoughts

anon i will take any chance to talk about rebecca lewis <33 yes, i know there are more inlaws in question, and i will get to them, but i have been dying to talk about becky hehe plus there really is so much more to explore on the lewis side--naturally, since neither elaine nor rebecca have interacted with izzy in canon (insane btw).

sidenote: i kinda love how izzy only ever grew up with brothers, but gained a sister through simon (or two really, since we really must count clary, but you know, we're talking technicalities here), and that for simon, it's the opposite.

anyway, speaking of sisters hehe i genuinely think izzy and rebecca would get along well. i think iz would be a good source of.. fun i guess? for becky. like a good reminder to let loose. and i think becky would be a good resource for izzy, someone with a bit more age and wisdom that she can go to, someone who isn't maryse. and it's not like becky would be the only one offering advice. i think izzy would remind her to put herself first sometimes, to chase what she wants and to be kinda.. undeniable i guess. and i think they would laugh together and i think they would go shopping together, despite their very different fashion senses, and i think becky would maybe make some clothes for izzy and i think they would bond over the matching simon-shaped swell in their hearts.

i think becky is a common presence at the sizzy household. movie nights or game nights, or becky-cooked dinners (she might also try train some better cooking instincts into izzy while she's at it hehe), at least for a while until life things happen etc. i also think, and i know this is thinking a decent way further down the line, but i also think she'll be one of their go-to babysitters, since i don't think she'll get settled with her own family until she's in her 30s, and because i just know she'll want to be part of every second of that.

okay okay i think i need to stop talking about rebecca now or i will end up writing a novel..

i think their relationship with elaine is a lot more.. delicate. they don't see her nearly as often. because they can't be honest about the shadow world, for one, but also because i think she still has a little bit of.. not exactly loose canon, but something akin to that, in her. i think she wishes she got to see her son and daughter in law more, but i think there's this underlying anger for izzy any time they go to elaine's place, because even though it was years ago, izzy's first introduction to her personality was still through the lens of her condemning her son and kicking him out of the house at 16. and i also think izzy's seen how that reaction has affected simon, both in the direct aftermath, and in the years after he got his memories back.

i know levi is dead and wouldn't have any sort of relationship with izzy, but i do think simon would have taken her to levi's grave at some point to introduce them anyway. maybe around their wedding?

i really don't feel like there's much to say about the lightwoods that we haven't already seen, or that can't be easily extrapolated, but in spirit of fairness..

jace and simon are very much jace and simon. it's kinda hard to imagine their relationship changing much more than it already has. the comfortability and familiarity between them, the playful jabs, etc. i do think jace has probably begrudgingly gone to simon for a second (or third after clary, ig) opinion on some plans or strategies etc. he's having to make as an institute head. and i definitely think simon has tried to teach jace dnd, and had him over to play video games more than once.

i think simon and alec's relationship goes through more change than what we've been privy to. i think they have their bonding time doing target practice or over coffee after putting the kids to bed. they talk about politics and work and the sda. they also definitely talk about jace being an idiot lol

when it comes to maryse.. bro maryse is so hard for me. their relationship with her would be much closer than that they have with elaine, of course. and i think in maryse's effort to be more present with her family, she also makes a point to have a personal relationship with simon. they don't really have all that much in common, but simon has always seemed like something of a mom charmer to me. he's funny and smart and knows how to be polite. plus he really really cares about izzy. and i think it means a lot to maryse to see that. call it projection or mother's love or a little of both, but it's nice to have that reassurance that her daughter won't have to go through what she did.

[lord-montgomery]

Izzy <3 this was way harder to draw than I expected :p

[lord-montgomery]

i blacked out and sizzy happened

(original photo under the cut)