#merzost

[corpsebasil]

I Will Tell You Who You Are

When Nikolai is infected with Merzost, the only one who can comfort him is his queen.

You were sprinting down the hall.

You could hear him, screaming, screaming your name as you made your way to his rooms. The guard outside merely stepped in your path, a troubled look on his face. You couldn’t catch your breath; you felt like you’d vomit as you heard Nikolai’s scream of pain, his voice catching on a sob.

“Open the door.” You gasped, feeling desperate. “Open the fucking door.”

“I—I cannot, Your Majesty. The King has requested no one—”

“I am his wife. If I wish to enter I will.” Nikolai’s sob split the air around you and you almost threw the guard to the floor. “Move or so help me God, I’ll kill you myself.”

The guard’s throat bobbed.

Your husband was barely around anymore. You’d been traumatized at the coronation and were desperate for his attention. And yes, while he saw you in the day, he didn’t feel fully with you anymore. He hadn’t shared a bed in almost a month, and you couldn’t take it.

That’s when you’d heard his scream.

“Move.” You commanded, voice shaking, and the guard slowly stepped to the side.

You almost ripped the handle as you shoved the door open, a shriek leaving your lips at the sight in front of you. Nikolai was chained—chained—to his bed, black tendrils of dark power wrapping around him. He was trembling, sweat beading on his brow as the power seemed to dull.

“Y/N,” he was shaking. Shaking. “you can’t be here.”

“What is happening to you?” Your voice broke as you moved forward, trying to ignore his flinch at your approach.

“It’s in—inside me.” He panted, shaking his head. “Don’t come near me, Y/N. Please. It’s fighting—” he bent double, back bowing towards his knees as a cry of pain left him, every muscle tensing. Nikolai sobbed, gritting his teeth, and you saw that the clenched fingers of his hands were tinged with black.

“My love what—”

“Go!” He shouted, yanking at his own chains as he panted through clenched teeth. “Go, Y/N, I never wanted you to see—”

“Nik.” You choked on a gasp of pain and dropped to your knees in front of him, grabbing his face. He shook his head wildly, eyes wet and squeezed shut as he fought your grip. “Nikolai it’s me. It’s me.”

“No, no, no.” He shook, still attempting to scramble away as you held him fast. “Don’t touch me. You have to leave.”

“I love you, Nik. Please, please let me help you.”

“I’m insane.” He sobbed, the black slowly vanishing as he collapsed roughly into your chest, his locked muscles releasing. His hands strained painfully against the restraints, but they were the only things holding him up. “I have lost my mind, Y/N. I cannot live in this way. I am dangerous to you you need to leave—”

“I will not leave you.” You fought, running your hand across his sweaty brow, forcing those gorgeous eyes of his to meet your own as you gripped his chin. “I am not weak. Am I weak, Nikolai?”

He swallowed.

“No.”

“And have I ever left you?”

His eyes shuttered.

“No.” Nikolai’s face crumpled as he shook, dropping his head against your shoulder as you held him. He was gasping for breath, shaking his head lightly back and forth, muttering to himself. “Get it out of me.” He whispered, and your heart cleaved inside your chest. “Get it out. Get it out. Get it out.” He yanked at his chains and let out a scream of anger and pain, shaking in your desperate hold as tears ran hot and fast down your face.

“I am here. I am here.” Your hands gripped his hair, your body pressing him to your own, feeling your nightgown soak as he cried out of frustration.

“I cannot control it.” He wept, wrists raw from struggling as he attempted to calm himself. “I cannot control my own body—my own mind. I will hurt you. Do not allow the one thing I love left to be lost. If I hurt you—” he sucked in a breath and you gripped his head again, pulling his tear stained face off your shoulder to peer up at your own.

“If you cannot control it,” you said, voice trembling as you stared down at the raw blue gaze of your King. “then I will be your control. I will be your anchor.” You wrapped your arms around him, mouth wobbling as you kissed his head. “I will be your tether to this Earth. I will ease your suffering, Nikolai.”

“Please.” He whispered, but was pressing as close to you as he could get. “Please do not leave me alone tonight. Please.”

“I will never leave you alone.” You promised, and when he had calmed enough to attempt to sleep, the clasps still around his wrists, you curled up on the couch, your mind racing and your heart heavy.

short and to the point and very much inspired by bridgerton because it just makes sense

[stromuprisahat]

I love your takes on the grishaverse so I was wondering what you thoughts was on the theory/headcanon that Alina didn’t really lose her powers but unknowingly locked them as she did before the books’ beginning? Maybe there was a period where she couldn’t summon light bcs she was too exhausted and stressed out by the whole ‘final battle’ thing – banishing thee Fold, Mal’s ‘death’, Darkling’s death – so she assumed she had lost it. And then it was easier to unknowingly continue like that bcs it allowed her to remove herself from ruling and making any decisions and just have her simple co-depended life with Mal as she always wanted.

Personally, I don’t think that’s what happened in canon (certainly not what Bardugo meant) but I find it feasible as fanon interpretation, considering how depressed and deluded Alina appears post-RAR.

I'm more leaning into the explanation, that she intentionally, yet subconsciously rid herself of them (and maybe revived Malyen, when we're at it, since the second life bullshit is just that- bullshit that doesn't make sense, since no other amplifier's running around the same way. But then again- I'm very skeptical, when it comes to Malyen actually being one- he has no properties others do.).

Alina recognizes that as long as she's Grisha, she won't be able to be only with Malyen, and she already admitted she's trying to mould herself into whatever he seems to want from her.

Merzost doesn't seem to be random- it's driven by intention. Ilya "upgraded" mythical animals to have certain properties, Aleksander fucked up first, but then managed to find a way to actively protect his people, when in situation his powers weren't enough. Alina lost what made her special, but since her goal wasn't finished yet, other Sun Summoners sprang into existence and fucked up destruction of the Fold, because it's merzost-made, therefore logic tells us ordinary Small Science shouldn't be enough to vanquish it.

It's true the previous time Alina worked with merzost, her powers "disappeared" for a while, but the "magic" also isn't working from nothing. No matter what we're told, there is a cost, some input. It's not "pure creation". We can see it, when Sasha makes nichevo'ya- he's using his own essence, his life force or whatever want you to call it, to draw them into existence, so Alina would need ~something~ to distribute her powers among others, and the amplifiers are just that- they amplify, wider one's range, not give a new ability.

Besides- there's the question of what grandpa Ilya wanted. If he aimed at Grisha being accepted, instead of othered, why would he take away from one the give to more. It might look pragmatic, but the range is too limited and even if he created such "tools" over and over- he'd only make a new caste of "once-Grisha", instead of levelling the playing field.

One of my fellow fans also pointed out that if merzost is magic, perhaps Alina used it to become an ordinary otkazat'sya. I don't believe so. She might've made herself to appear as one, but after all those books spent reading how is being Grisha integral part of their being, something that makes them themselves... looking at post R&R Chapter 17 Alina isn't looking at slightly more traumatized Alina that can't summon the Light because it's not a part of her. It's looking at a husk of the girl, just like the ends of previous books, when she was suffering due to missing her powers on physical level.

And her lack of skill, when using merzost previous time would support it. She locked away her powers and her hair went white the first time. She got rid of her Light, but her body "remembers" it's missing something.

edit: Also- thank you for (positive) feedback, I'm not being rude, I'm just an social idiot with totally not ADHD, so I get focused on "the point", and forget the social stuff like greeting and replying to nice words, which ARE very motivating for me, but HERE'S THE STUFF I'm thinking about and my brain's coming up with coherent answers- LOOK!

[dhampiravidi]

hot take: Darklina's kid wouldn't be a Sun OR Shadow Summoner...

this theory goes against the regular Grisha power "inheritance" rules (if you're Grisha, one of your parents was the same type as you), but I don't care, bc neither Alina nor Aleksander were really "normal". & that shit w/Zoya & Juris still makes me salty (no spoilers though), OP ugh.

ANYWAY--

imagine the Darklina kid having the power of gravity, kinetic energy, or merzost itself (w/the harmful effects). let me explain.

gravity is unseen. stars are basically just balls of plasma held together by gravity & a lot of movements/phenomena we study concerning outer space is thanks to the gravitational pull of a star on other stuff. also, Aleks controls the unseen, in a way.

kinetic energy = movement in general. Gambit/Remy LeBeau from the X-Men (Marvel Comics) controls this, so he can make objects spontaneously combust OR slow things down. cue the ultimate form of Etherealki!!

merzost is, in short, forbidden magic that everyone finds unpredictable & costly. but Ilya Morozova had a pretty good handle on it. he was able to resurrect his daughter using it & his exposure to it altered his blood/DNA/whatever enough to give his descendants a new Grisha power (IDK why HE didn't become a Shadow Summoner). so a merzost Grisha might be an advanced Healer, able to completely resurrect & reconstitute people. maybe they could speak to spirits. tbh merzost is just witchy jurda parem.

I've seen lots of fics about the Reader being a "Star Summoner" or a "Moon Summoner"...if you use these ideas, please tag/credit me! I'd love to see your take on these--

@starlsssankt @sankta-alina-s

[kainatsstuff]

Alina to The Darkling:

I'll never walk your path.

Also Alina two minutes later:

Using Merzost to save Mal.

[callmefirefly]

[artbymagsn]

“Like calls to like”

Mal and the Stag for Plein Airpril Grishaverse Edition

[briarmae]

Alina to Mal: What if I use merzost to create an army of light?? 😃

Mal: Alina, no. Merzost bad.

Alina:... 😕

Alina to David: What if I use merzost to create an army of light?? 🤨

David: Alina, no. Merzost bad.

Alina:... 😤

Alina to Baghra: What if I use merzost to create an army of light?? 🤔

Baghra: Alina, no. Merzost bad.

Alina:... 😠

Mal: Dies

Alina: Alina, YES 😈

Like, she wanted to use merzost sooooo bad!

[kazoo-the-demjin]

just thinking about how nina is all quiet, contemplative and looks mildly disturbed ever since she saw alina use merzost like just saying it's very weird and concerning ehehehe

[lost-in-men-of-letters-bunker]

Not me just now realizing he broke that chair...

[stromuprisahat]

Mother of Monster

Siege and Storm- Chapter 14

Awww!

Playing a victim, aren't we?

Sure, Baghra can mistreat Aleksander- he's her son-, but the moment he strikes back, all hell breaks loose. Not to mention his "punishment" takes form of a childhood trick she herself could at least attempt to dispel, except that would require her to summon, and she'd lose her veil of victimhood. And why give up her badge of authenticity?

How hard is she NOT summoning, if it aged her up so badly?

This is Aleksander's punishment for disobeying her- speeding up her withering away. She used to be constantly cold, but youthful. Does that mean she's avoiding summoning to prevent accidentally or instinctively clearing her own eyes, so now she's quickly aging as a welcome side-effect?

Look what you've done to me?! Your own mother! Your only constant companion!

There's no mention of nearness to merzost having effect on aging. It's draining the person using it, so even if her blindfold couldn't be removed by Baghra herself (Arguable, given her age, likely knowledge and set of powers.), she shouldn't look like shit due to its presence.

Did he finally achieve what he attempted all those years ago?

Is his grasp on merzost so strong he can truly manipulate it for his purposes like his grandfather did?

Is he truly a leap closer to getting what he fights for?

Am I insignificant to him now?

As if she ever acted with loyalty or support towards him and his cause.

A bit of blaming, drama and loving mother's dehumanization. She sure know how to play at Alina's already existing prejudice and fatalism. Can't wait for the girl to repeat those words...

I wish... yet the great villain will abandon his successful siege to attempt saving her, and grieve for her, no matter the mistreatment she offered him.

Sacrifice suggests intention. Baghra didn't know what will be Aleksander's reaction, we have no idea, what her expectations looked like, so assuming she's some tortured heroine, martyr to a cause, is erroneous.

[dhampiravidi]

sleepwalking: Aleksander Morozova

TELL ME that Bring Me the Horizon's "Sleepwalking" isn't a Darkling aka Aleksander Morozova song--

the merzost is kicking his butt post-S1 (or maybe it's always made him sick on certain days?) & he secretly wants to give up on his dreams for improving Ravka/getting his revenge on all the bigoted otkazat'sya, but his pride & rage keeps him from doing so. it's just so tiring, going through the endless cycle of fighting, loss & faking his death, but what else is there? he has his beloved, but what can they do (alone or together) to fix anything?

@starlsssankt reminds me of our current "post-S1 AU where Aleks is dying from merzost & desperately needs a cure" thread!

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Scorched sea verse for the title game!

This is a doc where I’ve jotted down several supplementary ideas for the Darklina Roleswap AU where Nikolai is just hanging out as their third lol

There was a lot of backstory lore that didn’t make it into the fic proper that seemed fun to explore. The entire segment where the Apparat builds her up as a saint before Grisha are at all accepted in Ravka and the higher stakes of that. Then things going south, Mal dying and her turning to Ilya Morozova for help. And the vague Baghralina that happens then falls to pieces after the falling out with her father lol.

I also had ideas for two future separate scenes, that would probably be one shots in a collection. Alina being driven to tell Nikolai that she’s not actually going to human sacrifice herself in the next couple of years, can he please stop being so damn melodramatic about it???

The main fic wrapped up before the actual collaring so I also had some loose ideas for that. Here’s a snippet of it!

[stromuprisahat]

#don't get me started about his POVs. the fact that we know there are somewhere out there and we'll probably never get them #keeps me awake at night #thank you for being so understanding of his character anon #very few are like that today

them: Merzost is dangerous. You shouldn't use it without careful consideration.

Sasha, tired of people dying:

In TGT we don’t really get a lot of information about the consequences of merzost. The most we see (if I recall correctly) is Sasha looking weaker and Alina’s hair turning white. What do you think some of the additional physical and/or mental effects would be? When do you think Sasha first tried to dabble in that type of magic? I very much doubt the Fold was his first attempt. RoW talks about he convinced Baghra to take him to the remains of the building where Ilya and their family used to live, where Sasha found his journals. I’m fairly certain this was before he was the Darkling, although I’m not a complete 100% sure on that front.

Anyway, logistics of merzost aside, the guy needs to stop throwing himself into danger. He’s carving out pieces of his soul so he can save a persecuted minority and the “heroes” have the audacity to go “nooo… he just wants power.” I desperately wish we got Sasha POVs in TGT.

I personally believe that his first try was when he unwillingly created the Fold. Since merzost is very dangerous and requires years of training and mastery to be used properly, I don't imagine the Darkling putting it to use like it's nothing. I think he studied hard about it before he attempted to make his first try.

I don't think the Fold was created because of his greed either. It was created either because he did something wrong in the process or because there are always consequences when you use merzost. Alina faced consequences too but, in her case, in her appearance. Maybe because she tried to do something less grand than what Aleksander tried to do 400 years ago.

Normally it seems that merzost weakens you greatly and puts your health at risk. It causes you physical weakness, fatigue, physical and mental pain and generally drains you. You can lose your senses if you don't stop or it can even kill you.

(Aleksander must had been made of Valyrian stele. His physical capabilities were impressive for using it that much)

Aleksander paid the price the most so many centuries ago because he tried to use it for something big. He mentioned that he tried to stop the wars with it and I suspect that he wanted something more powerful than the nichevo'ya. So it's possible that the greater the extent in which you use it, the bigger the consequences are.

Now about the Black Heretic thing. I believe Baghra took him to her village long before he showed himself to the King and the world. But when he created the Fold he probably was already named "the Darkling" since the Black Heretic was considered one by the time the S&B events happened.

And you're so right, anon, but I wish more people could see that. Critical thinking is a trait that few people have and cannot see past the narrative's narrow and holy vision. He was selfless for doing that but he truly, for fuck's sake, needs to take better care of himself. 😭

[midwinterspringwrites]

nothing sweeter (face the burning heat)

Rated T | Ludarklina

A cloud blocks out the sun, and her shadow shimmers and distorts. When she looks up, she's no longer alone.

Two figures stand in front of her now.

(A post-Season 2 polyamorous resurrection fix-it drabble sequence.)

Written for @bearholdingashark for Seasons of Drabbles.

Moodboard by @scrapbirdy.

Read on AO3.

[wastedwastelandme]

Amongst the MANY reasons why I want a Shadow and Bone season 3, one at the top of my list is that I am fascinated with where specifically Alina’s story could be going. (Warning for heavy book spoilers going forward)

One of the things I really liked in the books was the focus on how much Alina’s role was slowly crushing her, how aside from the simple joy she got from her power itself, her title as “The Sun Summoner,” her status as a symbol caused her nothing but pain. There’s huge swaths of waiting in book 2 and the beginning of 3 where she has nothing to do but dread over all the implications of her role: the Darkling’s presence reminding her of all she fears she could become or even just seen as by the people of Ravka, ageless and without equal and consumed by her own power. The cult being built around her increasing her worry of what would happen if she fails (and, you know, the fear of being the focus of a cult). The increasing realization that even if she does succeed she doesn’t just get to walk away and will most likely have to marry Nikolai and become the Sun Queen to keep the peace in Ravka for the Grisha. How all of this pulls her further and further away from Mal, being seen as someone with a grand destiny either way that he can’t be a part of. Alina spends so long fearing this and even more that it feels like a trap closing around her that she escapes with Mal at the last moment by faking her death taking down the Fold. She’s able to get away from the trap of being a symbol and it’s why it’s such a victory that she and Mal get that small and simple life.

But here, because of the timeline moving and other changes, show!Alina hasn’t had the chance to dread all this, and Mal has been steadfast by her side the whole time so she hasn’t had it all been underlined by them being slowly pulled apart. She’s aware of these things in general, but she hasn’t had the chance to really focus on and fear them happening.

This is not a criticism, and is in fact the point of my fascination.

Because while book!Alina spent so much time dreading the trap she was falling into and was able to escape it, show!Alina does not realize that she’s been falling into a trap and is now ALREADY IN THE TRAP.

She’s standing beside Nikolai as the Sun Queen without the awareness that this might not be a temporary position. The world no longer has the Darkling and the Fold as a common enemy and all the attention will be on Alina as the representative of ravkan Grisha with a unique power that has already served its purpose. She’s now truly without equal, she used Merzost, and she used the Darkling’s shadow power itself. The Apparat is very much still around with his cult leader fixation on Alina. And now Mal has left her side so they can find each other on their own, and she doesn’t have him to fall back on during this at all.

And the cherry on top of all this is that show!Alina doesn’t have the way out of this that her book counterpart did. She doesn’t have the neat tidy story of “The Sun Summoner sacrificed her life to destroy the Fold” that people will accept, because the Fold’s already been destroyed and she’s still in the public eye! The only way the people will accept someone leaving their status as a Saint and a Symbol is through their martyrdom and she doesn’t have that anymore! And she still doesn’t realize any of this yet!

I really have no idea how she could get out of this neatly, and I really really need that next season to see how this goes pretty please.

[periodcostumefantasylover]

New Darkling scenes