#meryl is there to help him and force him to at least get out of his room and eat and drink some water and stop thinking about the past

[stefisdoingthings]

he watched a show and he HAS to talk about it

[tradingjack]

These were the concept pages I drew for my original writer in the @vashwoodbigbang event! Unfortunately they have disappeared on me 😅 and also bc god hates me I guess, the day I was supposed to post these, yesterday, saw me dealing with first a wifi outage and then a whole electricity outage so. That was fun lmao

Details about the drawings below since. I don't know if my writer will ever post the story, unfortunately 😔

So this was originally coined as a stardust au! I believe it was primarily based on the movie that came out in the 2000s (?), though I believe my writer was familiar with both the movie and the book it was based on. Honestly, it doesn't pull much at all from the story itself, just the general concepts of stars.

In this version, Vash is a star, and he decides to try and find his long-lost siblings (Knives and Tessla). In his search, he comes across a planet he hasn't visited before, and while he's descending to it, he's shot down by something mysterious that causes him rather permanent injury (not new; I believe he'd already lost his arm previously and he has all his scarring from travels to previous planets, this specific technology is just new to him).

He manages to crawl some distance from the resulting crater and is rescued by the odd pair of anthropologist Milly and journalist Meryl, who are tracking fallen stars on their planet in order to research them. Vash is horrified to learn that stars on this planet are rather brutally searched for and used for their power, so he tries his best to keep his real identity as a star secret.

In the next town, he learns about Star Cultists, who are the leading experts on stars. Our dear Wolfwood is one of them, and though he's a priest under the head of Chapel, he seems pretty jaded about the whole thing. He also spends some time poking fun at their visitor Vash when he stumbles on the doorstep of the church.

Unbeknownst to all, Chapel is the one who shot Vash down, and he suspects Vash is his target. When Vash, Milly, and Meryl skip town, Wolfwood is ordered to tag along with them against his will, and he begrudgingly forces himself into the group with his usual grace lol.

Through some shenanigans, including an interesting fight with Livio/Razlo who is a martyr (a human who ate at least part of a star and became consumed by it), the group all grows closer to each other. Naturally, Wolfwood and Vash hit it off with their usual ideology clashing and homoerotic team fighting. The tension comes to a head when both of the boys are drunk and attempting to stumble somewhere after getting kicked out of the bar, and with the help of liquid courage, Wolfwood admits to Vash that he's what's known as a "Star Eater:" a human that has consumed part of a star, and by some genetic luck, isn't consumed by it and instead gains some superhuman abilities so long as the magical tattoo (i forget what it's called off the top of my head fuck) that forms around the presenting star isn't broken.

Vash is understandably horrified. Wolfwood is confused by Vash's rejection bc he isn't aware Vash is a star; he's under the impression Vash is just some very talented guy Chapel really wants to feed a star shard in the hopes he becomes part of their superhuman cult.

Vash sobers up and manages to drag a very drunk and eepy Wolfwood to their hotel.

The next day is the turning point; the star cultists, including Chapel, catch up to them and confront Vash. Wolfwood has to learn very quickly that he'd been Wrong and Vash, in his panic, flies to where it feels most safe; the city's Star (storage area?? Idk). He ends up cornered there and, in his panic, accidentally goes nuclear trying to escape and blows up half the city in a column of flame. While he's barreling across the desert in an attempt to get away, he's trapped by a net the star cultists set up, made of the same shit used to shoot him down at the start, and he can't escape it on his own.

Luckily he's found by Wolfwood first, who's decided he owes it to Vash to try and fix his fuck up, and using his superhuman healing, he manages to free Vash. Both are exhausted and ultimately rescued by LR, who's been tailing them.

Tbh my memory's kinda foggy... my writer only managed to share up to that first LR fight, so I don't remember exactly what's supposed to happen between here and the fight at the orphanage?? I remember Vash somehow finds out what happened to his siblings (a hella long time ago, Tessla was consumed by the people of the planet and Knives, in his rage, fuckin just annihilated everything, turning it into a desert planet, and has been laying dormant for the most part since then) and also we learn that martyrs gain better control of themselves, and the crystal growth consuming them stops, when in proximity to enough additional star power. Vash, as a star himself, allows LR to easily think as they did before they ate a star shard when in close enough proximity.

Anyway, fight for the orphanage, Vash shows up in time to see Wolfwood getting his shit rocked and his magical tattoo (I'm so annoyed I can't remember what it's called. My mind is supplying sharingan and i know that aint it) shattered by Chapel, who accomplishes this by running Wolfwood through with his cane. Vash, believing Wolfwood's dead (bc like. Lmao it's pretty hard to live getting impaled, like, fully), loses his temper and basically obliterates Chapel. He moves on from Wolfwood's body to try and dismantle the entire Star church so Wolfwood's orphanage can stay safe. In this process, he confronts a Doctor Conrad, who was behind the whole thing, the remains of Tessla, and somehow Knives?? I think Knives, sensing Vash's anguish, just tried to fuckin nuke everyone, and Vash stops that. I feel like Knives dies in this process somehow... I think it was by saving Vash from something Conrad made??

By the end of it, Vash is wounded and exhausted, and ends up being saved by Milly and Meryl, I think.

When he recovers, it's to find he's lost his ability to leave the planet; while still functionally a star, his power has greatly diminished, his hair is black, and he can't even hide his wings anymore. Last I knew, my writer was actually merciful and let Wolfwood live! Albeit as a martyr (thus the wolf form with the uncontrolled star shard bursting out of the hole in his chest you can see on Wolfwood's page lol). Luckily he's got Vash around, so he gets to keep his mind, if not his human form.

With Knives dead and the star cultists mostly dispersed and no longer able to fuck with the planet, the story ends with our characters getting to experience rainfall on the planet for the first time in centuries.

.......

I like the story :P I imagine it'd be a lot better written out in actual novel form by the person who'd actually thought it up than my shitass, too-long summary lol.

Honestly my writer was communicating up until like, a month ago?? And then they just.... disappeared :/ which is weird bc I checked with my mod for this event (shout out to mod sana, @pushclouds, you're an amazing mod and I appreciate the heck out of you) and they submitted literally every check-in. Honestly I'm more worried for them than anything, if anyone knows what happened to @lohikaar I'd appreciate anything you can tell me. I hope they'll publish this story whenever they can, I'd still love to read it in its entirety.

Additional shout-out to @priellan for beta-ing the story they shared with us, and for overall being a super supportive team member :D

Also they did assign me a pinch hitter writer since we have no idea wtf happened to my original writer, so I'll be doing more drawings :D priellan agreed to beta for them too, which I'm super happy about! And thanks again to mod sana for your hard work and arranging that so quickly!

An admittedly strange first big bang experience, but I don't think it was overall bad, and I'm excited to work on more stuff with my new writer :D if you read this far goddamn. Thanks lol. See you again for sure on January 1st! (I'll try to post other shit between then and now hopefully)

[needle-noggins]

My book club reading this morning started with me goofing on Legato and etc., but then I got hit with the cafe scene. Let's talk about it, because I've been ready to bring up the body autonomy/exploitation/rape stuff for a while. This is going to get heavy, so fair warning.

Spoilers for Trigun Stampede, which I'll compare this to, in case anyone here is coming into the book club completely blind to Trigun (I assume most fans at this point have seen Stampede).

So. Damn. This is where the very heavy theme of bodily autonomy and exploitation really comes into the story. Obviously we have the conflict between the slavers and Legato. These girls are going to be sold for organ harvesting, but first... yeah, those slavers are fucking awful. Legato kills them by forcing them to kill themselves/each other, and Legato frees the girls. I think this is the first time we see what Legato's powers are - he makes people's bodies to move against their will. He later muses on this scene, wondering why he felt sympathy for the girls and spared them. If you've read Trigun Maximum before, you know why.

I want to compare this to Stampede, because it's the easiest way for me to talk about this theme without spoiling more of Trimax. When I watched Stampede for the first time, I remember being floored by the tank scene with Vash and Knives. Vash floating helplessly, paralyzed by Knives, his roots extending to the plants in the tank, and the reveal of those plants being pregnant. Knives boasting about making new Independents. It was so heavy that I had to pause the show and walk around for a bit. I still can't totally watch it.

Then, when I read Trimax, I saw just how much of a recurring theme this is in the story on a whole. OK, Nightow, that's fucking painful and kind of triggering for a lot of folks - so why does the story have to include this?

Well. It highlights just how horrible Knives, Legato, and other people can be, but more importantly, it's central to the entire plot and its resolution. We have to look at the other side of the conflict and zoom out a bit. In all versions of Trigun, there is exploitation - of the plants, of innocent people, of Vash's power. And, in all versions of Trigun, there's the struggle to find freedom and autonomy against it, specifically. Knives struggles to give the plants freedom (or his version of it). Vash struggles to free humanity from Knives (who not only kills indiscriminately, but also exploits people to kill for him. Hello, Wolfwood). Vash also struggles to find freedom from Knives, who uses Vash's powers against his will. That's a really boiled-down version of the central conflict.

So, what happens in this conflict?

Vash heals plants who have been damaged by humans' exploits. Vash helps people in any way he can, no matter who they are - because he wants what's best for humanity - all of it. And, at least in Tristamp, who saves Vash when Knives is using him? Fucking Meryl. Meryl, who jumps head-first into danger to save Vash. I could write an essay on Tristamp Meryl's character development in alone, but I won't (yet).

There's exploitation and rape and terrible abuse, but there's help. There's healing facilitated by others, sometimes others who have experienced something similar. I'm sure someone else can say this much more eloquently than me, but I wanted to get the conversation started.

[goldenteaset]

So unlike my other posts for @tristampparty , this one is focused on two things that are connected but not directly. But they are about the twins, who are Plants, so it fits the theme. XD

I have so many thoughts about Vash's panicked/drowning reaction in the Plant fluid and Nai's reaction to it. "Breathe, Vash." It's another unexpected reminder that for all he projects onto Vash, he does genuinely care for him (which makes everything worse). As, well, erotic horror as the tentacles right afterward is, I can't help but read it also as Vash trying to fight off a life preserver...

And now, we get into what I like to call "I'm Biased Toward A Specific Sort of Antagonist And Unfortunately I'm Also A Writer", aka a fic idea poorly disguised as analysis. And also a post about how attractive(ly scary) Nai is. XD;

Every day I thank Studio Orange for Nai, and also hope desperately that at least some shred of what I'd like to see with him actually happens.

Look at him. What a wonderful smile! And it's so deliciously jarring compared to the corpses that are all around him and Vash. Episode 3 and that "Does it cure the loneliness?" line were the creators preparing a lure, and then by episode 9 they cast it with That Smile to younger Vash in this exact spot, and here they hooked me and never let go.

My favorite antagonists deeply care for the protagonist, often in very complicated ways that offer up a hundred interpretations, but the most common one is love. Nai loves Vash--the memories of him, the idea of him, the saint, the sinner. And in this moment, he almost comes to love him as a person, too. "Join me, and we can save our kind." (Also of note: I love how this is framed so that the audience can see this side of Nai as well. It's a very compelling moment and wouldn't be out of place in an otome game.)

I was so excited for more of this: more Nai gently denying Vash his autonomy, lovingly indoctrinating/baptizing him into his cult as a fellow Angel and what that might mean!

...And then I realized that this scene happened only a few minutes in and oh. Oh no.

Don't get me wrong: I love/am horrified by the Tesla scene, and the desert and Rem scenes are amazingly done. But they're forceful, like Nai is embodying that "Gentle Persuasion" meme, and that just isn't scary to me. I would've mostly kept them as they are, but maybe leaned more into the "Everything I did was for you/a paradise for us" lines. Because yes, Nai is being a manipulative slimeball here, but I also think he has 1000% chugged his own Freudian koolaid so much that it's leaking out of his pores.

So I'd do it all mostly backwards, is what I'm saying: show the scene with Rem first, then the desert, then Tesla, then combine the "Join me~" + geranium garden scenes into one. It can convince Vash and the audience. Vash is now worn down, and more importantly he sees Nai as both a savior and, like the other Plants, someone who needs him.

Have there be visions of Vash's companions in the geranium garden (but conveniently far away) happily interacting with the Plants. Show Rosa and her baby! Wolfwood and Livio with the other orphans! So many knife-twisting ways to make this all seem like the best of all possible worlds. Have Vash mindbreak himself.

Now when Vash transforms and starts consuming July/impregnating the Plants, it's not just happening because he's just an empty vessel: Vash earnestly thinks it's the right thing to do.

(To twist the knife, I'd also bring back the "I can hear you. Don't be afraid" line at this moment. Heck, maybe it can all even sound triumphant from his POV, with tender piano music or similar. And then we cut to Meryl, desperately trying to reach him...)

[tenabrye]

Could you please write something where reader has feelings for Vash but misunderstands and thinks he is in love with Meryl. And though they are a bit heartbroken, they keep a stiff lip and subtly try to help him with be with her (because they at least want them to be happy). Eventually leading Vash to confronts them and confesses he is in love with the reader. This can all be happening to the entertainment of Wolfwood and Roberto watching in the background. Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day!

I apologize this took so long to get to. Hope you enjoy. :D (sorry it's short)

Your eyes fixated on the pair, watching the way Vash said something that caused Meryl to let out a laugh and shake her head at him. The way she smiled at the blond made your chest tighten which, in turn, caused you to frown. It hurt seeing the way they acted around one another, how in tune they were with each other. It was also your proof that he must have liked her. You had to turn away from them when she laughed again, the sound ringing in your ears and only furthering the pain in your heart.

You let out a small sigh, which was soon replaced with a surprised yelp when you felt a hand on your shoulder. "Oi, are you okay?" The familiar voice calmed you as you turned and stared at the undertaker. He raised a brow, shifting the cigarette from one side of his mouth and to the other as he watched you. You gave a quick nod as you forced a smile.

"Peachy," you told him, and he only hummed as his hand removed itself from your shoulder. His gaze then went from you and to the pair you were watching a few moments ago, humming once more before he turned back to you.

His lips curled into a slight smirk, to which you frowned at. "Sure about that?"

"I'm sure," you said, still frowning up at him. He closed his eyes and gave a chuckle before walking off. You rolled your eyes at him before you glanced back at Meryl and Vash, seeing them still talking and laughing over something.

They did look as though they made a cute couple, and you didn't want to ruin what they could possible have. So, you decided to help the pair get together. Despite how much it pained you, you preferred to see them both happy, however, you wanted to do so with discretion. It was little things here and there. A few trinkets left in Meryl's rooms every time the group stopped in a town to rest, and little secret admirer notes left to make it seem as though Vash wrote them.

You figured the two would have come together with how much effort you put into it, yet the opposite occurred. It puzzled you. It was as though Meryl ignored all of the small gifts and the little letters. Could she tell Vash wasn't the one they came from? You weren't sure how considering how discreet you were. It was only a matter of time before she would know it was someone in the group doing it, and only a matter of time before she figured it out to be you.

A low chuckle broke you from your thoughts and you glanced in the direction it came from, noticing Roberto and Wolfwood having a conversation with one another. You eyed them. They were smart, so you knew they would have figured out things quicker than Meryl, what with Roberto's experience in the field and Nicholas' incredibly keen eye. You couldn't tell if they already knew, but you at least had knowledge in the fact that they wouldn't say anything since it didn't involve them.

Though it still worried you that your subtle ways of helping Meryl and Vash get together wasn't working. You didn't even know why, until you slipped up with a gift and Meryl found you out. This led to her telling you that she didn't feel that way towards Vash and that she was certain he didn't have those feelings for her. "That's why my efforts were fruitless," you said, to which she chuckled softly and nodded. This newfound information gave you hope, which was only fueled when Vash began treating you a little differently. You weren't sure why the change happened, nor how it even came to be, but it made you happy.

"You know he loves you, right?" Meryl's voice caused you to blink in surprise, your eyes now fixated on her. She smiled at your reaction. "Did you not know that?" You shook your head and looked down as you thought more about it. The little touches of his hand on yours, the way he tried to make you laugh and smile more, and how you were the first person he came to protect whenever the group encountered those with ill intentions. "I can see it when he looks at you. I'm surprised you haven't noticed it."

You never saw him look at you in a way that made you think he was in love with you, but if Meryl saw it...then it must be true, right? The thought soon became fact when Vash approached you later in the day, when everyone else had gone off to do their own thing. He wore such a sweet smile on his face as he came closer. "Can I talk to you?" He asked, to which you gave a nod and smiled at him. "Has, uh, has Meryl told you anything recently?"

"Yes," you answered, your eyes noticing the way his cheeks darkened in what looked like embarrassment.

"I see," he chuckled softly, a cybernetic finger coming up to gently scratch his cheek. You tilted your head at him, eyeing him curiously. "I wish I could've told you myself, but I'll just go ahead and say it. (Y/n)," he paused, his eyes now staring directly into yours, "I love you. I always have."

A smile crept onto your face, slowly broadening as the words repeated in your mind. He loves you. He said so himself. "I love you, too, Vash." You then let out a small chuckle and shook your head, causing the man to tilt his head at you. "I always thought you had feelings for Meryl."

This made him mimic your chuckle. "You did?" He asked, and you replied with a nod of your head, which only made him chuckle even more. "We're just friends. I only have feelings for you." He then came closer, lowering his face down to yours. "I always will." With that, he pressed his lips to yours in quick, yet sweet, kiss before pulling away.

You felt silly for misunderstanding the situation, but Vash's reassurance made you feel better about it all. In fact, this would simply become a funny, little story for everyone, despite certain ones having already known prior to it.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 2, Match 53: Kim Dokja vs. Roberto de Niro

Submitted kids:

Kim Dokja: Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung are the commonly accepted ones but you can also make a case for Lee Jihye and Biyoo

Roberto de Niro: Meryl Stryfe, Vash the Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Propaganda under the cut!

Kim Dokja:

1. “In the first scenario (where you have to murder something alive) his first priority is to make sure Gilyoung makes it out alive (by giving him the grasshopper before letting others know about it), and when the future version of Yoosung (41st round) is going to cause havoc his first plan is to basically the past (his present) version of her so they would have her on her side (he takes her in as his incarnation- if that isn’t an adoption idk what is); Biyoo is literally the soul of 41st Yoosung that he WENT THROUGH AN UNDERWORLD TRIAL to get her back and she is legally his child. Lee Jihye is more like the older sister-teenager of the group be she’s still adopted by association and Han Donghoon is a kid who was hypnotized and exploited by the “prophets” and Kim Dokja saved him and became someone he trusts in- which is basically adopting. Mia is YJH’s little sister but with the family dynamic all of KimCom has she’s basically adopted too. This man is someone who believes the worst in himself but gives all these kids someone they need and in return they are the family he’s never had.”

2. "He saved Lee Gilyoung on the subway when he was orphaned at the time the apocalypse started even when he didn't need to and kept him by his side and fed him at his own expense and believed in him and taught him to be strong when no one else had really done that for Lee Gilyoung before.

MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD (pretty vague):

Shin Yoosung was a character in the world of the apocalypse that occured (long story, won't explain here lol) and she was supposed to be destined to become a monster that would destroy Seoul and the two people other than Kim Dokja who knew this wanted to kill her when they found her to prevent her from becoming that but Kim Dokja refused to kill her and physically stood to protect her and then he later became her sponsor (uhhh it's a whole thing in-universe but basically pledged to back her and help her ig) and the stigma (a special power thing that can be gained through a sponsor) he gave her was based in him protecting everyone in their group and his love for all of them.

Both Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung are extremely attached to Kim Dokja and have on at least one canon occasion slept clinging to either side of him.

LESS MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD (though not terrible ig and still mostly vague at least):

Biyoo is. well she's Shin Yoosung actually but also not. So basically y'know that monster future Shin Yoosung was destined to become? so that monster version of her from a different timeline was sent backwards and sideways in time (idk how else to describe it jskdfs) and nearly did destroy Seoul as prophesied but Kim Dokja tried to save her—and he nearly did but then a shitty dokkaebi (they're like admin streamer people. idk would take a while to explain) did a shitty thing and forced her to be 'evil' and then she had to be killed ;-; but Kim Dokja promised to get revenge for her and after that he went and beat up the asshole dokkaebi who did that so badly that he gained a legendary Story. And then he traveled to the Underworld at risk of his own life to retrieve her soul and put that into a dokkaebi egg that he personally hatched. And she lost her memories for the most part but could still sense a bit what he'd done for her :') and so yeah she became Biyoo and is somehow both adopted and originally parented(?? idk saying biologically is. doesn't feel quite right lol) by him."

3. “Bro is THE DAD of the group”

4. “Adopted his kids so hard that they’d do like anything for him they love him so much”

Roberto de Niro:

“he's my dad”

[markcampbells]

In honor of International Asexuality Day today (April 6th), I wanted to put together a masterpost of all the fanfics I've written so far featuring my asexual headcanons! Hi, I'm Trai, a thirtysomething panromantic ace creator who writes for Star Trek AOS, Final Fantasy VII, and Trigun.

Star Trek AOS

I only have one official ace fic in this fandom so far, as I started writing my fics for it before I had figured out my place on the ace spectrum and utilizing it in my writing, but it will definitely play a part in future fics for my 'verse.

your hands can heal, your hands can bruise - The foundational fic for the 'verse, a developing friendship, emotional hurt/comfort fic following Jim and Bones getting to know each other (and Bones coming to accept his romantic feelings for Jim) in the academy era. Featuring pansexual Jim and biromantic demisexual Bones.

(at least out loud) i won't say i'm in love - An angsty feelings realization fic of sorts where Bones tries to cope with the inconvenient truth of physical attraction to Jim in addition to his romantic feelings.

Final Fantasy VII

a bit less broken - A Cloud & Tifa friendship fic where Tifa comforts and guides Cloud through his realization he's somewhere on the ace spectrum. This was my first official ace fic and is still very special to me!

so hold on stronger to me - A queer platonic, ace Cloud & trans Barret fic written for Romancing Barret Week, where Barret gives Cloud advice about how to fix his relationship with Tifa post-Advent Children. In the future I will be writing further fics following on from this one featuring established Cloud/Tifa and Barret as their queer platonic partner, as they raise Marlene and Denzel in Edge and have a quiet life together. 💜

and we are just breakable girls and boys - While not a super overt presence in this fic, it was written from the standpoint of established Cloud/Tifa with Cloud's asexuality being a known factor between them and something Tifa is completely okay with. Post-Advent Children, Cloud and Tifa have a heated discussion that forces Cloud to confront his anxieties about losing Tifa.

Trigun

you recognize love after the fact - A Trigun Maximum-compliant fic set during Volume 11, featuring emotional hurt/comfort between queer platonic Vash and Meryl (both of them ace!).

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) - Non-sexual intimacy hurt/comfort between Vash and Wolfwood, as Vash suffers through an attack of phantom limb pain and Wolfwood offers to help him out. Written from the perspective of ace for ace Vashwood.

cooking is love made visible - A pre-canon, developing friendship Meryl & Milly fic, centered on the idea of food as a love language. Featuring asexual Meryl and Milly beginning to realize she might be an ace lesbian. This fic is going to become a multichapter in the near future!

i used to live alone before i knew you - A getting together fic featuring T4T and ace for ace Vashwood, centered on the idea of casual nudity. Wolfwood chooses to air dry after a shower; Vash has an existential crisis in asexual.

I hope everyone enjoys these fics if they give them a read! Comments and kudos are always welcome, and I have plenty more ace fics lined up for the future. 💜

[aconfusedkitten]

since we're all doing our best impression of victorian housewives waiting for their husbands to come back from the war, here's some mashwood for yall!

It’s not often that there’s a quiet night, not with the three of them.

Granted, if he’s being honest, Nicholas would tell you that there’s rarely a quiet moment with them, let alone an hour or two, but a whole night? Those are practically unheard of. Vash and Meryl are sunshine incarnate, after all, and just like the sun, they have a tendency of lighting up every dark spot there is in this damn world. They also, of course, have a tendency to poke those dark spots a little too much, and that’s where Nicholas comes into it.

Not that they can’t take care of themselves, because there’s no denying that Vash is brilliant with a gun, that’s apparent from the moment you see him hold one. Meryl isn’t exactly a good shot, but the two of them had only shoved a gun in her hands a week ago, because she needed some protection, and she’s fast, small enough to get away from almost any trouble, and well.

You get the point.

The three of them are sharing a room, and for the most part, it’s unremarkable. A single bed, a nightstand on each side of it with a crooked looking lamp on one of them, a rickety old chair, and that was it. It’s not the nicest place they’ve stayed in, since all of them started traveling together, but it sure as hell isn’t the worst.

( The worst was some shady little place from months ago, and despite there being four of them, they’d only been able to get a tiny little room with two tiny little beds, and well. In the end, Meryl and Roberto had gotten them, because Vash hadn’t learned to let down his guard, and Nicholas hadn’t wanted to. Not yet. )

And night had fallen hours ago, and by all means, they should probably be sleeping. They need to be out of there by early morning, with all the reports of sandstorms and what not, and they don’t know this town well enough to say if it’s friendly. They also don’t have a reason to stay here, but that has never stopped Vash – or Meryl, for that matter – from getting into trouble.

They really should be sleeping.

Instead, Nicholas is sitting by the window, having dragged the chair there almost the moment they got the room. There’s an unlit cigarette in his hand, and though he doesn’t plan on lighting it, he can’t help but roll it between his fingers. Meryl and Vash are sitting on the bed, Meryl trying to convince Vash to take off his prosthetic for the night, and-

“Wolfwood!” Meryl says, her voice somewhere between amused and pleading, “tell this idiot that he needs to take care of himself! It’s not good to sleep with a prosthetic on, especially not as often as he does, and it’s not like we can’t defend ourselves long enough for him to grab it if there’s a real emergency.”

And well.

She is right.

The Punisher is leaning against the wall, only a few feet away from him, and even without it, Nicholas can fend for himself. And like he said earlier, Meryl is a hell of a lot better than she used to be. Saying that won’t change Vash’s mind, though, and they both know it, so Nicholas merely shrugs.

“She’s right,” he says, knowing that Meryl will pester him until he says something. “But it’s not like we can force you, if you decide not to do it.”

There. Something that will, more than likely, appease the both of them.

After all, nights like this are far and few in between, and Nicholas really doesn’t feel like spending the night arguing about something so simple. Important? Yes, because God knows that they both desperately wish Vash didn’t have this kind of struggle, but it’s not an urgent thing to fix, not when they’ve got all the time in the world. Or, at the very least, they’re going to make it so they’ve got all the time.

The two of them are always saying things like that.

Meryl crosses her arms, looking pleased with herself even as she gives Vash a half-hearted glare. It’s an odd combination, but Nicholas knows that she’s had some time to learn how to make it work, maybe around four months, give or take.

After all, it’s been at least a month since the three of them had gotten, well, closer, for a lack of a better word, and they’d known each other for almost six months at that point, and-

Maybe, Nicholas thinks, all that time in the desert has screwed with his perception of time, because there’s no way he’s been traveling with these fools for almost a half a year.

A resigned sigh from Vash and Meryl’s cheer are what drag Nicholas from his thoughts, and he can’t but smile at the sight of them.

Vash, down to his sleep clothes – his red coat is tossed in the corner, alongside Meryl’s and Nicholas’ own – sighing dramatically as he offers up his arm. Meryl carefully, carefully messing with the hinges and release buttons, nimble fingers running across delicate technology. The looks on both of their faces, soft and fond and loving, almost painfully so.

They’re blindingly bright, the two of them, Nicholas thinks as he watches them, and sometimes, he doesn’t understand how he fits in with them.

But then he remembers the Punisher leaning against the wall, Vash’s revolver propped against it and Meryl’s camera resting on top of the damn thing, and honestly it makes him want to laugh. Seeing the camera, one of Meryl’s most treasured possessions, casually placed on top of that cross of his.

The two of them need someone to pull them back from the edge.

And well-

Nicholas can’t say that he minds being that for them. Not really.

[typhoonvash]

⩥ @wolfwoocl (w27) || your favorite customer [closed starter]

It's not often that Vash strays from Ship-05 these days.

His job calls him to action every day—whether it's training new Plant engineers, handling on-call situations from afar, or maintaining their own Plants, Vash has his hands full. Sometimes he dreams of wandering out, following Knives and Meryl, and discovering new parts of the world to settle and terraform, but those dreams are quickly quashed by reality.

There's nothing he can do to defend himself.

The only purpose he has is helping his Sisters life long, happy lives; to laymen, he's an idol of worship. To the scientists and engineers? Nothing more than a fellow man—especially since he's without any special powers. At least no one outside knows what he looks like, even if they create art of their image of him... it's not exactly accurate. The most people get right is the bright red lab coat (often exaggerated as robes). It's not enough for people to go off of if they catch a glimpse of him visiting the nearby town for a short reprieve.

Today, he's sneaked out for a very important reason.

It's a few days before his birthday (there's no way he can sneak out on his birthday), and he wants to meet the owner of his favorite bakery.

Maybe it's silly, but Vash has been ordering a dozen donuts from this place for almost a year now and hasn't seen the person baking them. He doesn't have to introduce himself! Scientists leave the ship all the time! And it's not like the owner has to know that it's him ordering the donuts, so...

So he just wants to see.

The bakery is probably owned by a cute old couple, and he'll see them and think of them every time he puts in an order. That'd be cute—maybe he could even leave them little notes, or something.

It's around lunchtime (brunchtime?) by the time Vash is able to finally find the bakery and take a seat outside. He picks a table closer to the building, wanting to hide himself away in the shade. Force of habit.

Why is he so nervous? All he'll do is get his meal (and maybe one of those iced coffee drinks), put an order in for a dozen donuts—like usual—and leave. Really simple interactions!

Even in the shade, his bright blond hair seems to shimmer radiantly and his glowing cyan eyes peek out from behind red-tinted glasses that are meant to dull the color. Really—he'll just meet the owner, get his food, and leave. That's. All.

Black leather gloves grip the menu like it's the only thing keeping him alive, and all he can do is wait for someone to take his order.

[keru0]

Cheering Up

Ugh I just finished TriStamp and I already miss them so much ToT!! This fic is on the shorter side but I was in the mood to write for them and I figured I’d put something out while I try to finish that Rag-Bros fic. Anyways, hope yall enjoy!!

Fandom: Trigun Stampede

Ships/Pairings: Lee!Vash, Ler!Wolfwood, Ler!Meryl (romantic)

Contains: SFW, Fluff

Word Count: 1359

================================================

It was an…odd night, to say the least.

Instead of their usual – which consisted of them sleeping in the truck – Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl were actually able to hunker down in a less-then-nice and cozy motel. Of course, as always, there were arguments of who would take what bed, Vash insisting on sleeping on the floor, but Meryl and Wolfwood were having none of it, almost forcing Vash to take one of the two beds since he always insists on the floor, though his price was that one of them would take up the bed with him so no one would sleep on the floor that was covered in god-knows-what.

After the sleeping arrangements were agreed – Wolfwood deciding he would sleep with the humanoid furnace – they decided to go to a bar nearby, wanting to have some fun before heading out in the morning. This, of course, led to the trio drinking until they were barely lucid, stumbling their way back to their shared room. 

Meryl insisted on showering first, still disgusted by the bug guts from yesterday, leaving Wolfwood and Vash alone. 

As soon as Meryl disappeared behind the door, Vash let his façade drop, dropping his cheery smile for a more sullen look.

Drinking always makes Vash think of things he usually doesn’t think about – things he doesn’t want to think about. It’s fun at first; hanging out with friends, forgetting about his worries, but by around the fifth drink, thoughts he thought he had stashed away come barreling to the surface, forcing him to think about them.

Usually Wolfwood would leave him be, knowing Vash doesn’t like to talk about what’s on his mind, knowing that he thinks he’s a burden if he even so much as frowns at someone, let alone talks about his feels. The beer in his system, instead of ignoring him, makes him want to know what's going on with his usually-bubble friend; it makes him want to help him in a way Vash never lets anyone help.

So, noticing his change in attitude and knowing that the Humanoid Typhoon gets in his head, Wolfwood turns towards him, the cigarette in his mouth doing nothing for the slurring of words the drinks are causing. “You alright, Needle Noggin?”

Not wanting to worry his friend, Vash immediately switches expressions to his usual cheery demeanor, looking up, surprised by Nicolas’ acknowledgment, he puts a smile on his face as crows feet come at the corners of his eyes, his beautiful dimples on half-display, forcing their way through his thoughts. “Uh- Y-yeah! I’m alright, why wouldn’t I be?”

Sighing, Nico walks to sit by Vash on the bed, thighs touching as he rests his elbows on his knees and softens his expression. “Drop the act, Needles. What’s bothin’ ya?”

Wolfwood can see his expression change almost immediately, Vash looking away as soon as he feels it drop. “It…it's nothing, Wolfwood. It’s not important.”

Wolfwood groans, rolling his eyes as he steels his expression as much as he can under the influence. “Bullshit it's not important! Stop with the dramatics, Vash. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Vash flinches under his words, almost seeming to fold in on himself. Noticing this, the Punisher sighs again, trying to soften him voice. “Look, Needles, Shortstack and I care about you. You can’t just go around ignoring your own feelings all of the time. Look at me.”

Vash turns his head, bright cerulean eyes locked onto grey, a look of understanding passing between the two before Vash looks away again. “M’just thinking about…about the last time someone hugged me.”

Wolfwood furrows his brows at this, wanting to know more. “Huh? What are ya talkin’ about, Needles?”

“I just…” Vash looks down, his cheeks flushing an even darker shade of red than the one brought on by drinking. “I miss it. Being hugged.”

Wolfwood chuckles, getting up from the bed.

“W-wha-?! Why are you laughing! I thought-” Vash was cut short by Wolfwood hugging him tightly, arms around his shoulders, cheeks pressed together. 

“Blondie, for being nearly two centuries old, you sure are dumb.” He moves his face down to the crook of Vash’s neck, mumbling into the soft skin, one of the rare areas on Vash that wasn’t metal nor scar. “If you ever want a hug, just ask me or Shortstack. We’ll be happy to give you what you want, Needles.” 

Finishing his half-speech, Nick breathes in Vash, noticing that there is a distinct smell, the alcohol betraying him and letting the words slip through. “You smell nice. Like…I actually don’t know what like…”

Vash’s eyes widen, never seeing his friend act this way. ‘It’s probably the alcohol,’ he thought, encircling his arms tightly around the smoker, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “U-um…it’s flowers.”

“Flowers, huh?” Wolfwood closes his eyes as he moves his head up and down, his stubble scraping against Vash’s sensitive neck as he keeps breathing in the floral aroma. “I like it.”

“W-Wolfwood, wahait! Y-your beheard!” Vash laughs, Nick’s stubble tickling his neck as he moves his face along the vulnerable flesh.

“Beard? You mean my stubble, Blondie?” Wolfwood chuckles. “What’sa matter?” He teases, sneaking his hands towards the humanoid’s sides, gently scribbling along them, feeling the bumps of the scars and metal that litter his body through the thin cloth of his shirt. As he lowers his body so he is on top of Vash, the both of them laying down now, legs dangling off of the bed, he leans in close to Vash’s ear, smiling as he whispers, tickling him more in the process. “Is the Humanoid Typhoon…ticklish?”

The Typhoon weakly grabs Nick’s wrists, if only to ground him, as his black-haired partner continues to tease him. “Nihihick! C’mohohon! Knock it ohohohoff! NaHahAhAHa!”

Vash loses it when Wolfwoof moves his hands higher, gently digging into Vash’s bare sides. “Why should I, Needles? We both know that you’re strong enough to make me stop…that is, unless you like it~”

“WolfwoHohOhoHoD! HahAhaHahAhAhaHa!” Vash whined, Wolfwood deciding to start nibbling on his ticklish neck.

“You know the word, Needles~”

“What are you two doing?”

Both the Punisher and the Humanoid Typhoon look up, blushes – from either the situation or the drinking, who knows – on their faces as they are met face-to-face with Meryl, freshly clean and in her pajamas, which consisted of shorts and a t-shirt, a faux look of annoyance on her face.

Vash stammered. “U-um…we were…uh…”

Wolfwood, on the other hand, decided that the shortie needs to know about Vash. “Well, Shortstack-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“-Vash here was down about wanting hugs, and I just let him know that if he ever wants one, he’s free to ask us. Isn’t that right, Shortstuff?”

Meryl was truly annoyed with the use of the nickname again, but softened to agree with him, sitting down opposite of the others, speaking directly to Vash, whose gaze was averted to the wall, a cute pout on his lips. “Right. Vash, anything you need or want, just ask us. There’s no harm in that, and you won’t be bothering us.”

Wolfwood freed one of his hands to bring it up to Vash’s cheek, turning his head so they were face-to-face. “She’s right, Needle Noggin. Just ask. Anyways,” Wolfwood started, finishing his portrayal of the events of the last few minutes. “I decided to give him a hug and he decided to be ticklish-”

“I didn’t decide that!”

“-and then what you saw happened. Seemed to cheer him up, yeah?”

Meryl smiled, laughing softly, a playful glint in her eyes. “You’re right, Wolfwood. Think he needs any more cheering up~?”

“I think so~”

“W-wait! G-guys c’mon! Meryl, not you tohohoho! AhaHahAhA!”

And so the “odd night” came to a close. Vash’s bubbly laughter filled the room before he and Wolfwood finally got their showers and, instead of sleeping on separate beds, the trio cuddled together, the Humanoid Furnace keeping them plenty warm.

Safe to say this “odd night” became the new normal, with Vash asking for hugs almost every hour – and getting them – and getting “cheered up” by his partners whenever he felt down. This new normal was better, and all of them thought so.

[deludedfantasy]

Trimax Vol 14 Ch 6-8

Well, here it is. My last post for book club. I can’t believe we’re actually here! I’m a little emotional. This has been such a fun ride and the highlight of my day for the past few months. It’s weird that it’s basically over.

I still have a few things I’d like to talk about so this isn’t quite the end for me, but for now, onto the post! I hope it makes sense as I wrote this either on a train or while sick.

Ch 6

Once again, I ask, does Vash have some sort of telepathic/mind reading ability? Because Meryl doesn’t say that part about being scared out loud, but he responds to her anyway. Is it just in really emotionally charged moments that he can hear it or does it have something to do with how he’s connected to the Plants and they way all their memories are being projected? 

At least Vash knows how terrified Meryl once was of Plants and himself (but I still wish they’d actually talked about it rather than Vash running away, but whatever, they don’t have time for that right now). 

I wish Meryl didn’t think that about herself either. She’s allowed to feel things! Including fear. It shouldn’t be about never being that scared again, but about feeling that fear and not being overcome by it. 

Ohhh, Vash did succeed in connecting with the Plants and what happened is their protective shells cracked and their memories started raining down on humanity. 

Here are Vash’s beliefs again coming out in full force. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen and he’s not going to try and control the outcome. People and Plants should have the autonomy to make their own decisions. All he can do is make sure they see and try to understand each other, and he says it beautifully. 

I remember this part really well and I still find it one of the most beautiful and moving parts of the manga. The feathers of memory falling on humanity, them experiencing all the good and bad of what Plants experience and suddenly being overcome by it all. 

I love that the Plants call him Red Brother. He’s the familiar guy in a red coat who’s always there to help them. 

And humanity is getting a full look at him too! Finally, they get to know him as more than an outlaw and the destroyer of July. They get to see him for who he truly is. 

At this moment the Plants say, “What would Vash do?” Will he give up or will he keep going? The conclusion they come to makes me wanna cry. “Let there be love and peace in this world.”

That’s all Vash has ever wanted, all he’s fought for, and now the whole world is finally getting the chance to see it. The depths of his belief and everything he’s done to achieve it.

Something that has bothered me for most of the story is how much Vash is about understanding, but how little he lets other people understand him. It’s how he ends up being the boogeyman and the bad guy all the time. He doesn’t let people in. Although this is done through supernatural means, finally, the world is coming to understand him a little. He’s getting some of that same grace he offers to others. Though again, I wish he’d been able to do it with his words and of his own will at some point. 

Even Knives is getting hit by the Plant memories. He’s trying to hold on to his connection with the Plants, but it looks like they’re falling further and further out of reach.

Also, this page looks a bit like Michaelangelo’s Creation of Adam but with very different connotations. 

Did Knives lose control of the Ark and cause it to crash? I’m not sure how we got from point A to point B. I feel like I missed something. 

This entire sequence makes me so emotional. After seeing all of the Plant’s experiences, the people of the ground immediately rush to help them. They aren’t scared! They understand how much the Plants have been through and are determined to do better.

The Plant scientists, not even knowing what the feather will do to him, uses it to communicate with them. The Plants are crying and in pain, in danger of dying without support, and it would be so easy to be scared and overwhelmed, instead they do everything they can to save them. Not because they need Plants to survive but because they care about them and they can’t survive without each other. 

And the scientist reaches out to touch the Plant without fear. It’s a very tender, intimate, and comforting touch. He strokes her hair. That’s not how you treat an alien entity, that’s how to treat a child, someone you care about deeply. I’m feel like I’m chewing on glass!!! 

The Plant is still crying, but now she’s smiling too. They’re truly working together and understanding each other for the first time. 

God, Vash. Never, not once in his whole life, has he ever promised to survive or come back. Something has changed though. He still wants to live and he wants to do it with his friends because he promises he’ll return to Meryl and Milly. 

Then like a badass, he just jumps right off the ship. What a guy.

Ch 7

At the end, Vash turns back to the beginning, where this whole mess started for him: the day of the Big Fall. What were Rem’s final words to him and his brother? What final words of wisdom has been trying to recall/reconstruct over the years as he fought and chased Knives? 

Knives can’t admit he was wrong even when he’s very obviously lost. He had to reconstruct his entire body and use up most of his power to do it. He doesn’t have the Plants anymore and he just watched humans fight to help Plants. Everything he’s known to be true has been proven wrong to him but he still won’t back down because he’s scared of the truth. He can’t face it and he’d rather fight Vash to the death. Much like his brother, Knives is too stubborn to give up on his ideals so easily. 

It’s more than that though, as Knives himself admits. Also just like Vash, he doesn’t see a future for himself anymore and he wants Vash to be the one to kill him. 

Amidst all the carnage on this page, the simple image of the twins as boys really stands out, along with the text on it. They can’t go back to the way things were. They can’t regain their lost innocence. They’ve come too far together to turn back now. The fight for humanity’s future might be over now that Knives has lost control of the Plants but the last fight, the more personal one between the two of them, still has to be fought. 

For the second time in this volume, Vash points his gun at someone with the intent to kill. But the moment he does, he finally remembers what Rem told him. “Don’t leave Knives on his own.” It’s why he stayed with him for 80 years after the Big Fall even though a rift had already developed between them. It’s why no matter how many times he faced him over the next 70 years, no matter how much he said he would kill Knives and get his revenge for what he did to Rem, he never did, why he hesitated every time he pointed a gun at his brother’s head. 

I truly believe Vash still loves Knives. That love is complicated after everything they’ve been through and the terrible things Knives has done to him and to the world. But it’s there. It’s one of the many things that has stayed his hand every time he’s confronted Knives and why he kept begging him to find a different path when most other people would’ve given up. He loves his brother. In the beginning, Knives was all he had. In some ways, Knives is the only person in the world who can truly understand everything Vash has experienced. It’s no wonder, then, that when Chronica points her guns at Knives, Vash uses his powers to save him. 

I’m 90% sure that Vash also used his body to shield Knives and took the brunt of the blast wave. (Edit: Whoops, I read that wrong. Vash doesn't take the blast, he takes Knives's blades in order to shoot a gate bullet at Chronica's attack. But my point still stands.) He’s never been so protective of Knives. The look on Knives’s face when he sees Vash to do this is so unlike him. It’s shocked and surprised and suddenly very vulnerable. I think it’s Knives realizing Vash actually cares about him. There’s also something about being on the receiving end of the mercy Knives has mocked for years that probably breaks something in him because he didn’t think he deserved it or that Vash would ever offer it. Maybe this is the moment he realizes how wrong he was about everything.

There’s something really poetic about Knives then using the last of his own powers to also manifest wings and fly away to save his brother. Knives has claimed from the start that everything he was doing was to save Vash from himself, but really, he was doing anything but that. This time, though, he does save him. 

Livio, being so polite and welcoming even when he’s threatening someone. He’s amazing, I love him. 

Wolfwood’s ghost has been haunting the story physically and metaphorically for four volumes now. This scene in particular makes me wonder if the ghost of Wolfwood thing wasn’t a literary device but an actual ghost watching over Vash and Livio to make sure they made it through the final battle. Now that it’s over though, now that Livio has survived his first conflict as a new man with his new ideals, Wolfwood’s watch is over. He disappears and goes to his final peace. 

His final words give Livio hope for the future, that he has one at all, where he can keep learning and doing better and being the person he wants to be. There’s more to come, indeed. The thing that makes me really sad though is Wolfwood never got to do the same. In the end, he proved himself to be more than a killer, but he didn’t get the chance to keep learning and improving. He didn’t truly get to live a life as a man who was more than a killer. He was forgiven, but didn’t survive to see the fruits of his own labors or the bright future they might lead him to. There will never be more to come for Wolfwood and that breaks my heart.

Ch 8

So here it is. The last chapter. It’s bittersweet to be here at the end after all these months because I don’t want the story to be over. I don’t want to let Vash go. But here we are. 

It’s never stopped pissing me off that the Earth Federation put out another bounty for Vash. It’s not made clear for what exactly, but after this read, I have a feeling it has something to do with how he let Knives get away. He’s been branded an accomplice. The Earth Federation is trying to find a scapegoat for why their rescue efforts failed so fantastically and Vash was conveniently on hand. It’s so unfair, especially because he was the one who saved them. 

Personally, I believe many, many people saw what he really did in Octovern or experienced who he was through the Plants memories. Most people would probably be more like the doctor and be willing to hide or help him. I don’t know, I just don’t like the thought of Vash constantly being forced to live on the run and never have peace now that the big threat that’s been hanging over him his whole life is gone. 

Knives desperately begging humans to save his brother is such an about face for his character. Right at the end, something happened to him. Something broke in him after seeing all the Plants’ memories and Vash ultimately being unable to kill him. I wouldn’t say he believes in humanity, but he understands now. Especially he understands how important humanity is to Vash and how important Vash is to humanity. Vash is the bridge between the two and it’s only through his conviction in their ability to communicate that allowed any of this to happen. He’s part of humanity’s future. He has to be if they want to survive and Knives saw that. 

Oh…did Knives use his powers to heal Vash? I mean, from what we know about Vash, the wound could have closed on its own because that’s just how his body works, but there’s something to Knives being the one to do it that makes my heart twist. Just like Vash, Knives couldn’t kill his brother, despite the many times he said the opposite. He couldn’t let him die. He used up most of his power healing him and when he started to run out, he asked humans for help. I’ve already said it, but I can’t help stressing how unlike Knives this is, at least, the one we’ve come to know. It feels like a different Knives, the younger one we briefly met. Who could he have been if he hadn’t seen Tesla in that tank and gotten so twisted up on the inside?

The fact that Knives’s final act is one of creation rather than destruction says a lot. He makes an apple tree that will provide sustenance and be helpful for the family that’s helping Vash. Sure, it’s to help keep his brother alive, but it’s also a small gift to the humans who took him in. It’s an astoundingly kind action for someone who has been hellbent on the destruction of humanity for 150 years. 

Vash’s face after being told he should go live a quiet, peaceful life somewhere and that he’s done more than enough is peak Vash fake smile. It says, “I will never do enough to deserve a peaceful life.” I want to shake him like a rag doll, he’s so stupid. Yes!! Yes, you have done more than enough. He himself once said that there’s nothing wrong with a normal life. I frankly believe that’s what he wants deep down. But he doesn’t think he deserves it and he has a mission and an ideal he’s devoted to that supersedes his own wants. Sometimes, I wish Vash could learn to be a little selfish, just a bit. After everything he’s been through, he’s more than entitled to a little peace and quiet. 

The silly tone is very reminiscent of early Trigun and it’s so nostalgic. It’s a return to that old world, a sort of reset and coming full circle. This is Vash’s life after all. It’s equal parts tragic and silly and ridiculous and it all comes in cycles. 

The push and pull between being Vash the Stampede and just living a normal life fascinates me. Vash dons the red coat again to help the people who saved him. He says it’s just this once, but we know it’s a lie. Every time someone needs help, he’ll put that coat on again. But, and this may be my own biases talking, I’ll say it again: I think Vash does want that peaceful life, deep down. He wouldn’t keep bringing it up if he didn’t. A life where he isn’t the famed outlaw, Vash the Stampede and can just exist. But he also doesn’t know a life without his mission, so he keeps falling back into it. 

Yay, insurance girls! Or more accurately, reporter girls!

Vash, you do not deserve the reporter girls. They spent six months looking for him! He promised them he would return, one way or another. But he never kept that promise. The girls could’ve assumed he was dead like everyone else, but they didn’t. To then find him alive and well and up to his old tricks…I think he deserves a little more than a light scolding from Meryl. At any point during those six months, he could’ve tried to send them a message or something to let them know he was alive. Vash, king of avoiding all important human relationships. Ah, well, some things never change. 

Vash has suddenly discovered something more terrifying than insurance girls, reporter girls, with cameras and microphones and what I personally believe is a mission to clear his name. They are stubborn and will follow him everywhere. It’s his worst nightmare (I say this affectionately). 

Oh my god, Meryl and Milly gave him a little theme song. That’s so cute. 

“Stay tuned for wardrobe malfunctions too.” Meryl and Milly are giving the fans what they want: Vash the Stampede fan service. 

These last few pages are beautiful. We get to see some old faces we haven’t seen in a while as they find out that Vash is still alive and doing his thing. The panels we’ve been getting throughout this chapter, of an empty horizon, are repeated over and over again as Vash starts to run. And then there’s Vash laughing. Because this is his life and he gets to live it, however he wants for as long as he wants it. To me, it feels like he’s realizing that he has a future. It’s compounded by the focus on him running into the bright, empty desert, a mob at his heels. But it doesn’t feel like he’s running away from them so much as he’s running towards that empty horizon. It might be optimistic of me, but I think that’s what Vash would want. 

The last page took me out. We’ve come full circle. This is how Trigun started, with that same song of humanity still singing. At times, that song was cruel and devastating, but also full of love and hope against all odds. Things aren’t perfect. They never will be. This ending is, after all, bittersweet. Vash has lost so much and still hasn’t truly found peace. In some ways, he sees a future for himself, but even then, it’s just a continuation of the life he’s always lived rather than something new. He has a bounty on his head, but he has his friends by his side. He’s helped people and had a deep impact on them along the way. But still, humanity continues, the world keeps turning, and in the end, that’s all we can hope for. To be there to experience life in all its glory, both good and bad. It truly is a never ending song.

Thanks for following along! It’s been a blast sharing my thoughts here weekly and reading everyone’s amazing takes. A big thank you goes out to @revenantghost for organizing this whole thing. Trigun kinda took over my life in the past four months and book club has been a great place to channel all that obsession. Fun fact: the Google doc where I prewrite all my posts is 100 pages long. Honestly, this is the most fun I’ve ever had in a fandom. I don’t really know how to close this all out and I’m full of a lot of emotions about this coming to an end so uhhhh thanks again for reading all my thoughts and see you around Tumblr. Love and peace!

[crossroadsdimension]

Managed to find time to watch episode 3 of Trigun Stampede tonight and MMMM. MAN. Was not expecting them to go that hard that fast with the plot.

(long spoiler-specific thoughts for Episode 3 under the cut for those who haven’t seen it yet. Very rambly, I’m just writing out my thoughts after finishing the episode.)

So, not only introducing some members of the Gung-Ho Guns (well, down one now, thanks Knives), but also introducing Knives and how dangerous he is three episodes in?? The original manga and the 90s anime did NOT need to go that hard, but the modern one decided it did.

Not only have we established that Vash brings chaos and disaster wherever he goes as he tries to keep everyone alive, but we’ve also established the theme of the show. Whose side are you really on, Vash?

I mean, they asked that question of him three times in this episode alone, and at least once in episode 2.

This is a question Vash was asked in the manga, but maybe not in this specific wording. He can’t keep doing what he’s been doing.

Vash wants everyone to be alive and get along, right? “Peace and love” is still present in his bones, even if he hasn’t said that theme aloud yet. However, that means he bounces between helping outlaws as much as he helps the innocent townsfolk who are just trying to live their lives and not get killed by the gunmen who want to take their Plant and get rich off it.

Vash would probably say he’s on the side of humanity in his current fight against Knives, but we can see that Knives is working with humans here, EG Miner and the “doctor” with the giant mecha and the strange, somewhat familiar looking child with him. (I have to wonder if that one’s a puppet for the puppet master, or if the kid’s another Independent Plant, but I’m not seeing any of the circuitry-lines on the kid that Knives and Vash have on them, so I’m not sure. (EDIT: Just found out the kid’s actually supposed to be the Crimson Nail, which really threw me off. Now I’m wondering what else is going on with her.))

But the Gung-ho Guns have sided themselves with Knives for their own reasons, and I would not be surprised if the “doctor” is aware that Knives is planning on killing him when his part of Knives’ plan is complete. I wouldn’t put it past the crazy Independent. They have chosen their fate.

Vash drifts from town to town, rootless and side-less, playing with the line in the sand like it’s a jump rope. Knives wants him on his side, and is more than happy to prove his strength over Vash’s in order to get him to give up, break, and join his big brother on Knives’ side of his self-proclaimed war of extermination.

Vash has yet to truly plant (ha) himself on humanity’s side. He’s lonely, keeps himself distant...the man needs to create bonds and plant himself somewhere, especially despite Knives’ actions. Knives is working with humans to reach his goal for Plants, and is using humans as tools in order to achieve that. If he causes trouble for Vash in order to prove that humans can’t be trusted, that they’re parasites, then all the better.

Vash...Vash is alone. He doesn’t want to use anyone, and as a result, he’s probably pushed plenty of people away from him.

This show is going to pit him against problem after problem after problem, and with Meryl, Roberto, and (probably as of next episode) Nicholas D. Wolfwood at his side, he’s going to find himself with people who don’t want to leave him, who won’t let the typhoon of the plot push them away, and he’s going to have to come to terms with what Knives wants, and what he wants.

Vash will pick a side. He has to.

But then the question becomes...how many people are going to drop right in front of him before he breaks and decides?

As for Knives himself -- man. He looms over the manga and both anime, for different reasons.

In the manga and the 90s anime, he loomed because he was an unknown force. Because he was what kept Legato in check, and let him have free rein to torture Vash as he pleased. And then, in the manga, he loomed because we knew what his plan was, he was constantly on the horizon in that ark, calling his sisters to him, and it was only a matter of time before things came to a head against his brother.

Now?

Now Knives looms because we have seen him. We know what he’s capable of. He defends himself with his own plant powers and laughs in the face of Vash, who shoots at him with human made weapons and shoots at him wildly. Vash, who has pinpoint accuracy and good eyes, can’t land a hit on his brother because he’s terrified of Knives.

And he’s terrified of who he is, too.

My dad made a comment on it when I said that Vash has access to power the same way Knives does, but he hasn’t “unlocked his gate,” as Knives put it.

Dad: “Maybe he’s afraid of it.”

This is another part of what keeps Vash drifting in the winds. He’s refusing to acknowledge who he himself is. He’s still that scared little kid, scared of his brother, wanting to be human, more than willing to reject his past. He’s trying to cut himself away from his roots just as much as he’s trying to cut himself off emotionally from everyone around him, to keep himself distant but physically present.

Just as he has to pick a side -- against Knives and all he stands for -- Vash is going to have to pick a side with himself. And when he’s broken down and pulls himself back together...if he wants to keep himself and every human alive, he’s going to have to come to terms with who he is, just as much as which side he is on.

Otherwise, Knives will win long before this series started.

[hologramcowboy]

Jake Abel was seen in a picture with Jensen and he has his son there. There are lots of children there I’m sure as it is a family friendly place.

There’s plenty of things for kids to do at a brewery that don’t involve them just sitting, twiddling their thumbs and watching their parents drink. Good grief.

Sorry anon, there is a big difference - Jake stopped by for a beer or two with his kid (and probably his wife) and no one even knew he was going to be there. In contrast, any time there is an event at the brewery his stans show up in the hopes to meet him. Even worse, Jensen announced a few days earlier that he would be there (via his brewery law petition vid) so even more probably showed up than usual. And since its his business he should technically be working, or at the very least helping out (heck, even D looked like she was at least pretending to help...) and yet still brought his young children. Where he KNEW he would be swarmed by stans. Stans who would undoubtedly take pics every time they saw him, including when he is with his kids (there are already pics out there). Don't act like you are so protective and private of your children and then bring them to what is a glorified fan event. This is not the first FBBC event they've had or that he's been to, he knows what to expect, yet still made that choice. It IS actually very different from what Jake did.

And having a playground at the brewery does NOT mean it is a safe environment for his own children to be in given how many stans are there and their level of obsession with him and his family. So there may be "plenty of things for kids to do at a brewery" for others who show up, by not for a celeb who KNOWS 100% that his stans will be there in full force.

Thank you for explaining that with far more patience than I ever could have. Jake was just passing through, Jensen and Danneel, however, were full aware of their "clientele". In my humble opinion, even if they kept the kids in the back of whatever, those kids should not be exposed to negative energy and stressful environments.

Like you brilliantly pointed out, a brewery is just not a place for a child of a semifamous celebrity.

I'm really baffled by Jensen's lack of awareness, I mean is his security team not doing their job? Because any good security team would point out blindspots and dangerous contexts. Those kids deserve a happy, care free life as they are innocent and should not be exposed to people with questionable energy. Not saying everyone there was negative minded because that would be generalizing but those who follow the Ackles around out of obsession, yikes.

The thing I am most baffled by is how Jensen keeps pushing his personal life upon people and then they both turn around and complain people are invasive. Daniel Day Lewis is an extremely private man, that's just one example. My point is, if you want a private life that is private you can have one even when semifamous like J/D. The Ackles keep trying to leverage the way they appeal to cray cray fans as if that was a KPI for fame. 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️ They are purposefully putting themselves in ridiculous, risky situations and then victimizing about it so they can show how "famous" or "wanted" they are. Fairly certain Meryl Streep doesn't share stalker stories to get attention and she doesn't put her family at risk. Just saying, the Ackles are acting like trashy UK reality tv star wannabes not like actual VIPs. There's a sense of entitlement mixed with very clear desperation. Jensen invited people to an event, implying he would be there all the way and then acted as if people had the plague or he was above them. For his sake, I hope he hires a pr specialist and listens to the wisdom said person will impart because he is absolutely disastrous when it comes to brand building, image and building a connection with his audience. Arrogance is a very bad choice that will easily hurt his casting chances.

[whispdoodle]

Stuck like a tattoo.

synopsis: Nicholas D. Wolfwood considers his life as mundane as possible, and at this point doesn't expect any surprises. Naturally, all of that gets thrown out the window the moment he meets a small but feisty distressed damsel with a truck problem right in front of the coffee joint where he works.

WARNINGS: the series will be rated as Explicit later on, as the plot develops! NO WARNINGS for this chapter, first meetings and dork galore ahead!

Pairing: Meryl Stryfe x Nicholas D. Wolfwood

No. 1

The only other thing accompanying the unusually annoying sound of a traditional alarm clock are the groans of a clearly disinterested in waking up man and the rustles of the bed sheets. The mattress dips underneath the weight that is now firmly pressed to the edge of the bed. Nicholas hits the clock, yet it rings still. Don't test me, motherfucker. He hits it again, more forceful, and this time the alarm dies out. God, that is the shittiest way to wake up. He knows it. Just as much as he knows how badly it affects his mornings. But, it can't be helped. The first day he was supposed to get to work, Nicholas set an alarm on his phone. Thing is... considering the damn thing is touch sensitive, and considering this dumbass usually falls asleep with his phone in his hand after using it, I believe it is needless to say that Nick simply slid the turn off button as soon as the alarm began to blare while turning around in his bed.

So that option had to go, obviously.

While the traditional clock is a kick in the nuts, it definitely does its job. Nick reaches out for it, and squints while trying to make out if he even set the thing correctly. '5:02'. Alright. So he DID set it right. His free hand swipes across his tanned face, a rather exasperated exhale rolling off his tongue. C'mon Nico, nothing else to do but move your ass. And he does just that. The clock is nonchalantly tossed onto the sheets behind him, and the grumpy 'adult' slowly rises to his feet. Like a senior with scoliosis, if you can picture that. He stretches, his voice cutting off as his bones creak in every frequency a bone can make. The fact he even listened to Milly last night and thought 'yeah let's drink the clean 20%, what's the worst that can happen!?' makes him think there's something to it when Livio calls him a dumbass.

Because that DEFINITELY wasn't a smart decision, he'll admit that free of charge. Ugh, whatever. It's not like he can call in work and say 'sorry, can't make it today. I've got a bitch of a hangover because I can't say no to my bestie'. If that's not getting him thrown out right onto his ass, then he's gotta be Harry fucking Houdini.

That in mind, Nick simply fixes the crotch of his boxers and lazily waddles out of his bedroom.

The squishy corridor is blessedly dark and filled with happy snores coming from within the room opposite of Nick's. Still a whole while before the big guy has to get up, Nick simply tip toes past the room and into the living room/kitchen/entrance. Yup, the apartment definitely wasn't the biggest out there. But at least paying the rent didn't hurt as much as it usually would. And most importantly...

As soon as his foot presses to the fake wooden flooring of the kitchen, a warm press of a furry fat rubs against Nick's ankle. The adorable black feline looks up at her owner, pupils dilated at maximum, making her charm even more irresistible than ever. She meows, like she even needed to work extra to ensnare Nick in her cute spell. He knew exactly what she wanted, actually thankful she waited patiently for him to get up without the encouragement this time. The encouragement being Kuroneko laying her belly on his face until he starts suffocating, which does startle him awake. Shocker, I know.

Better to give this little criminal what she wants before she switches her tactics to arson.

The rest of his morning is extremely bland to be honest. Kuroneko gets fed, leaving towards Nick's bedroom afterwards. Planning on nesting in his unmade bed, if he had to guess. He eats his own breakfast: warm toast bread with jam and cheese, gets dressed, grabs his wallet and phone and with a heavy heart leaves. Almost 6 around the clock, and despite his shift starting at 7, well... the bus ride IS a long one. But at least he makes it to the stop on time today. If he missed the damn bus, again, his manager would definitely get his ass again and he'd spend the rest of the shift being coddled by Milly. AGAIN. Don't get him wrong, he absolutely adores that woman. But she really has to ease up with her motherly instincts. She worries, he gets it. But Nick's a big boy. And the last thing he wants is for someone as sweet and kind as his best friend to waste her mental health on him. She's been an angel for both him and Livio ever since they've met, and so far? He didn't do squat to repay that kindness. The fact she still sticks around is just another proof there's not an ounce of malice in that girl's heart. Too good for this world, one might say.

So dizzy from sleep, Nick almost misses his stop. This time of year, it was still fairly dark outside, even at this hour. Still a hefty walk away from the café, Nick checks his phone for time: 6:24. Alright, that's actually not bad. He should be there about 10 minutes early. Should give him enough room to prep the machines and slip into the apron. He's also gonna have to check the produce for-

"God damn it!"

If that doesn't cause his entire body to straight up jolt. Nick absolutely freezes in place, frantically looking around for the source of the noise. And surely, he finds it, as soon as there's a slam of a head against a truck that parked right in front of an empty loft. "I wanna die..." Yeah darling, you're not the first, you won't be the last. No reason to scream about it though, giving some poor pedestrian a near-death experience.

And just as he was about to pray to whatever god was going to listen to please, PLEASE let him pass unnoticed... "Oh! Hey, wait! You there! Th-The black dressed... person!" She was waving. Waving, for him. With so much vigor Nick was almost certain that another flap of that wrist will cause it to fly away for the winter season. He hated this. He just wanted to get to his shitty work, make shitty coffee, and then get back to his shitty apartment. Where, oddly, life was a bit less shitty. Yet when he turned towards the clearly distressed damsel, and saw those pathetically sad puppy eyes, which he SWORE were sparkling, well...

He sucked in a breath, scrunched up his nose, and walked over. Whoever she was, the lady was practically hanging off the truck's hood while her distress slowly changed to relief the closer he got. So not only was he expected to help, but it was already set in that girly's tiny mind that he was the solution to all her problems. Not that he minds turning out to be a disappointment. The guy had plenty of practice for that.

...might as well.

-

Half an hour, a piss poor excuse to his boss and one fixed tire later and finally there's some semblance of peace and quiet. Despite the café being open, 7:30 is usually the most unproductive time around these parts. And thank the Lord in Heaven for that, because if Nico was to deal with people somehow knowing how to do his job better than he does this early in the morning, then he wouldn't have even gone to jail. People with the kinda thoughts that sometimes go through his head are just stuffed in a straitjacket and tossed in a safe room.

"Oh, I needed that." Comes in the voice of the only other living being in the shop, currently occupying one of the green leather stools by the main counter. Between her hands is grasped a single white mug with a leaf print at the bottom, a faded brown for a color. Like an afterthought, his boss says. Like a shitty coffee stain, Nick corrects in his head. The drink currently residing within isn't the grandest of his creations, but it seems a lukewarm cappuccino on coconut milk with caramel syrup and cinnamon powder is good enough for the missy. "Well, glad ya like it." He honestly didn't have much else to say. When Meryl was done introducing herself and thanking for the help with a flat tire, somehow the conversation turned to her mentioning she didn't have her coffee yet, not an actual breakfast. Whatever the latter meant, Nick had no clue, but since the cafe was literally across, well... he offered. And that's how they got here. With Meryl attending to her long time coming drink, and to a white cheese and pastrami sandwich waiting on the side.

"Mm!" Nick's attention turns, from the glass he's been setting with the rest on display, back on the woman with a mouthful of that sandwich she looks desperate to swallow before saying anything. She sure looks like a strange one, at least strange for someone dressed like her to be so well-mannered. Don't get him wrong, her neatly cut hair and a pair of minimalistic golden earrings definitely sold the 'I'm a woman on top' kinda feel. It's everything else that didn't really add up, from the half-cut grey top more displaying than exposing the hibiscus-patterned tattoos down the length of her entire right arm, to the shorts that were so short they would be enough to cause a crime rate to rise on an instant. Well, if it weren't for the solid black stockings at least, but even those were torn in places, and these tears? Yeah, definitely self-made.

"...done?"

It's her voice that gets his head outta his ass, the man blinking twice before his tongue turns from lead to an actual functioning muscle once more. "What?" The way this single word comes out makes him sound like he just woke up from a daze, a mental cringe in his part for that one.

"I said: 'Are you done?' because you've been kinda ogling me for the past 2 minutes." And at that moment, Nick thought to himself 'yeah, that's fair'. Because as much as he wants to pretend like he's having none of that, well... he's pretty damn sure his sights were set directly on her god damn thighs by the time she caught him, which, by the way, have no shitting right to be so ample on somebody this, uh... small. "2 minutes?" He asks, head turning towards the clock on the wall behind him, though he shifts his attention back to Meryl way too quickly to make it look genuine. "Pretty sure it's been at least 4."

He doesn't miss how that makes her smile.

"Ha. Ha. Look at me, laughing so hard my side's cramping." This girl can go ahead and serve her monotonne, sarcastic answer left and right, Nick encourages it in fact. Hell, he'll contribute to the attitude, so long as he sees the dimples in the corners of her mouth to make their appearance every damn time. "Shit, that's a dangerous thing, doll. Let me know when you start losing balance on that stool." Taking another sip of her coffee, Meryl's brows crease and her eyes narrow: suspicion painted all over that expression. "Why? So you can come to the rescue and be a knight in shining armor?" Her lips trail her upper lip as she's done talking, cleaning up the mustache of sweet coconut milk foam that formed there.

Cute, he notes. Actually, scratch that, very cute. Ridiculously so, in fact.

He scoffs, a mock expression akin to both a sarcastic insult and something along the lines of 'are you dumb' message. "So I can get the phone on time and record it?" And call him a brat with an inflated ego, he does not give a shit. And would you want to know why? Because the way Meryl snorts into her mug, trying to conceal that ridiculous smile with it as she practically dives half her face inside, is absolutely worth it. He might even admit - and he knows just how crazy that makes him sound - that perhaps this morning isn't as miserable as he expected it to be.

-

"Wait." Meryl's fingers move across the screen of Nick's phone, pinching at the center and spreading out after. "Your cat's name is 'Kuroneko'?" The way she raises her perfectly picked out eyebrow at him with that sly smile tells him everything. He is, most definitely and without a doubt, about to get shit on. "I... Look, before you start, yeah: the name's Japanese. But I didn't pick it, my little brother did. He watches anime, said it suits her." If this thing actually costs him a chance with the cute tattooed girl he met like an hour ago, he's never letting Liv forget the betrayal he felt at that moment. Meryl actually chuckles, it's a small thing and short at that, but it does make her shoulders hiccup. "I mean... yeah! Yeah, the name DEFINITELY suits her!"

Okay. At this point, Nick's curiosity definitely overtakes the awkward shame. He has to know. And so, he pulls out his phone. Types into the translator, sets the translation from Japanese to English and... "You... are shitting me." The way Meryl tried ever so diligently to choke down her own laughter was all the answer he needed: this was real. This was real, and his brother was a stain on the society for this. "So, um..." She talked with the barely contained laughter just oozing out of her tone, smiling like a complete dork while leaning forth onto the counter propped by her folded forearms. "Did you realize-"

"Did I realize that my fucking black cat's name is 'black cat'!? YES I'D SAY I DID!" That was the last encouragement Meryl seemed to need in order to absolutely let loose. The wheeze that followed was nothing short of amazing. Like an old vacuum cleaner from the 90s. Once it's swallowed so much dust all it does is choke- you see the picture, right? She nearly falls off the stool, she does! So keen on enjoying the miserable shame that Nicholas has to endure because of Livio. Though, let's be real... if he really did mind, he wouldn't be laughing alongside her.

"Fucking Christ, calm down wheezy G." And well, it does seem to only break the woman further. "WHEEZY-!" She repeats, before bursting into an even more maniacal laughter. Nick will say this: first time he saw her? This is definitely NOT the kinda attitude he expected her to have. Meryl seems so... free with how she acts. If she's happy, then she's happy. No matter how ridiculous it makes her look, it feels right for her so she just does it. Ah, well... Nick at least would never consider a trait like that ridiculous.

If he'd have to use a word, it would be... admirable.

-

The rest of the day fades to the fog, really. Meryl has to leave to get some stuff for her studio, and afterwards Nick stops smiling as genuinely as he did with her. He just works through his shift, makes some overpriced brews, and after 4 p.m. his late night shift comes to dismiss him and he goes home. That's pretty much every day, Monday to Saturday for this guy. Wake up, work and go home. Except tonight, he does smack Livio across the back of his head, saying 'you know what you did' before leaving the dumbfounded bear of a man to his lonesome.

The ball of fur spitting nightmare makes herself comfortable the second Nick's ass lands on his bed. Her belly is already up and on display, and the man doesn't even hesitate to start rubbing at the hairs that definitely need a good grooming at this point. The day wasn't horrible. In fact, it wasn't even bad. Because seriously, how can he pretend it's been bad? When in his free hand he's already holding the stick up note with Meryl's number on it? Honestly, Nick was always less than optimistic when it came to meeting strangers. He knew how to leave things without the relations going sour, but if he were to choose then he'd rather the meeting never happened in the first place.

But not with Meryl. He'd say for he wished wouldn't realize he was walking by this morning, she definitely made it worthwhile.

He'll call her. He has to, right? He should, at least. Kuroneko purrs, enjoying how Nick's doubling his efforts while spoiling that one particular spot underneath her right arm. She gave him that number, so it wouldn't be weird to call her. He thinks. He... hopes?

He overthinks. But that's a sure sign this whole thing really is worth the anxiety he knows it'll bring about.

He will call her. That's the one promise he's not breaking.

Thank you all for reading! This is the first chapter to come for the MerylWood series that I'm working on currently! I wanted to do something based on the coffee shop/tattoo artist AU for the longest time! Hope y'all liked the first installment! Sharing and liking helps the algorithm, so I'd appreciate it ✨

[eventheodds]

care,sender takes care of receiver when they're sick. (also, hello! o/)

actions speak louder than words.

She’d given Roberto and Wolfwood so much grief about their smoking, even threatening to take their packs away from them—Wolfwood glaring down at her, daring her to even try and Roberto giving her the “Ain’t gonna happen, newbie” schpiel whenever she got like this about their smoking habits—that she was the one who ended up being sick.

No one seemed to mind that this put a cog in their plans on getting to their next destination and, if she didn’t know any better, there seemed to be a ambiance of relief when they all unanimously decided to stop.

Meryl being Meryl, would have continued on had it not been for Roberto’s voice of reasoning, clipped as it’d been, and Vash was quick to back him up and even spotted a place they could rest while one fourth of their rag tag group needed her rest.

To say it strange that she had three people caring for her while she overcame this bout of sickness wouldn’t be far from the truth. While not a complete novelty, Meryl had always been one to look after herself. Ensuring she was in ship shape was something of a mandate for her.

The room is…well, it’s a room. The bed is barely big enough for two people, but neither of them made any qualms about taking the floor or couch—Roberto being the one to sleep on the couch, though it seemed far less comfortable. And she must’ve really caught something because she’s managed to sleep through their snores.

Even now, she’s wondering how to blame herself for not being careful enough.

A soft knock at the door pulls her from her thoughts and Vash steps in, holding a tray with a rather large bowl placed at its centre, along with a few other food items around it. No doubt he found a place that would serve a hot meal that he could bring to her—the saloon not having much in the way of food rather than just snacks and finger food. The idea of eating anything doesn’t sit well with her, but she knows Vash is going to fuss if she doesn’t.

She doesn’t even have it in her to make him plead—not that she would. At least, not too much.

“You strong enough to eat a little something?”

He’s hopeful in the way he speaks, like he thinks her being sick is his fault somehow. It doesn’t go unnoticed the way her heart twinges at the thought that he’d find a way to blame himself for this.

“…not really, but I know you’re not gonna give up.”

“Yep!”

He closes the door behind him, the sounds and noises from out there muffled once more as his footsteps approach the bed and the chair that had been placed beside it. She remembers, at some point, one of them was sitting at her bedside because of the fever that just wouldn’t break. She’d thought it’d been a dream, but it clearly wasn’t.

The soup does have an aroma that opens her appetite a little, but the second it does she can feel that wave of nausea overcoming her and she turns her head away, unable to think about stomaching any food, much less look at it.

“C’mon Meryl, I know it’s tough now but you gotta eat something.”

She takes a moment to catch her breath. “I know, I know…I just…I really can’t right now.”

She wants to turn on her side, face away from him, and try to fall back asleep, but none of those things are happening and she doesn’t have it in her to force herself.

“Here, these might help and they’ll be easy to eat.” He places two wrapped packages of soda crackers on her lap. She’d seen plenty of these at the university’s cafeteria whenever she chanced to go there. There was never a lack of supply of these things and she also remembers stuffing as many as she could into her pockets to snack on back in her room.

They’re bland and easy to eat, and something that might help get her energy back in increments.

“Can you open the packages? I don’t think I can right now,” she says and there’s a slight disbelief in her voice at this fact. She must’ve really caught something to make her feel this shitty.

“Of course,” he says, like it’s not a problem at all, like he would’ve done so and she needn’t have asked. The crinkling of the wrappers is a familiar sound and Meryl takes one of the crackles and nibbles on it. The salt hits her tongue immediately and she takes another bite, then another, until one cracker is done and she starts on the second.

It’s not much, and the soup might end up going to waste unless Vash eats it himself, but the look of relief on his face at her eating something, even as small as a few crackers, is enough to make her feel that twinge in her heart again.

[klcthebookworm]

WIP Wednesday

Meryl continued to investigate while everyone else went to sleep. The investigation is going poorly.

Meryl growled under her breath at the lack of answers. She continued turning pages. Three weeks of more samples tested, more pushing for Hybrid Four to do something that never happened, and the last entry in the folder said the military representative was coming to conduct their own tests. And that was it.

That was it! No note from Nana explaining why she did what she had done and what she knew. She had still had her mental facilities when she put this package together for Meryl. She could have written a confession. Or at least the location of the laboratory of Meryl’s nightmares.

Meryl flipped through the beginning pages again. She was right, no location written down anywhere. She growled again. Leaving out this information was unacceptable! Where could she go to find out what the hell she even was?

Vash rolled out of the sofa and onto his feet. “I know what that sound means.” Before Meryl could feel guilty about waking him up because Milly had slept through louder outbursts from her, he was at the table and switching off the lamp. “And as adorable as it is, none of us really need you yelling at us.”

Wait, adorable? Why was he calling her adorable? What did he mean by that? She couldn’t articulate her questions and while she was speechless, Vash scooped her out of the chair.

He laid her on her right side facing the sofa back, lay his long body behind her back, settled the bedroll blanket over them both, and draped his left arm over it and her waist. “So sex?” he asked.

That broke through the numbness that had froze her tongue. “Excuse you!” She whispered furiously, not wanting to wake anyone in the bedroom but he had to know that was not how to ask her for it.

He sighed hard enough to ruffle the hair on top of her head. “I don’t know what to do,” he said in a low, contrite voice she had never heard from him before. “I want to help you and I don’t know what to do. You are exhausted and getting sick over this and you know you need to rest to figure out what is frustrating you, but you’re stuck in the getting frustrated part. You have to know you need to rest. So if sex will help you forget enough to relax and sleep, I’m offering. Badly, obviously. I didn’t think I could do it worse than the last time. But I’m willing to help you. If you’d rather drink it away, I will get dressed and go find some open saloon in this city to buy you a bottle of whiskey.”

That made her heart plummet and she grabbed his gloved left hand to stop him from leaving. “Don’t go! They’ll catch you or something bad will happen—” She clamped her mouth shut to keep the spike of fear inside her. But she couldn’t loosen her fingers.

“Then I won’t go,” he said gently. “But you know just how hard I am to catch.”

She took a ragged breath trying to regain control of her free-wheeling emotions. “You must think I’m a stupid, emotional woman.” She was too exhausted to polish off the bitterness of always being judged lacking.

“Never stupid,” he said firmly. “I have lost count of the stupid I have dealt with, and you and Milly have never been in that category. And emotions are just psychological states and are fine as long as you don’t hurt anyone with them. You’d have to exert a lot more force on that hand in order to hurt it.”

She looked at her hand wrapped around his left hand, his replacement hand. “You’re still wearing your glove?”

He chuckled. “That’s not psychological. I don’t have a hate for it. Got it attached to the stump too fast to really miss the arm I was born with. Hair gets caught in the knuckle joints. Hopefully the next upgrade fixes that and I’ll be able to keep the gloves off occasionally.”

“I’m not trying to hurt your hand.” She shifted her fingers and pressed his hand onto her stomach. “How much can you feel with this?”

“A lot compared to some models available. My right is more sensitive.” He didn’t move it against her stomach. “Do you want the whiskey?”

The thought of losing control in the middle of all this uncertainty was a twang of wrong notes on her nerves. “Don’t go. You don’t have to go find whiskey.”

“I do want to help, Meryl. I’m sorry I don’t know how.”

“Jumping to sex rather sounds like you want to help yourself.”

“Not without your consent. And giving you a good time is not the worst thing to do on the planet.”

She snorted. “You propose it when we never have a bed available.”

“Huh. So I do. Sorry about that. Though the sofa is better than sand.”

He was serious about the offer, but there was another problem with the timing. “Just how soon did you want to have the sex talk with Chuck?”

“Not this soon,” he said fervently.