#merry Christmas. happy new year. life's about to change for us. bring it on then bitch!!!

[douubles]

2024 is gonna be big. scary. but big

[binah-beloved]

Hello, thanks you for anwer my question from last time. Could you consider to write headcanons about the 5 love language. If only you want to of course :)

May many happy things come to those who love Binah. Merry Christmas and happy New year. Your posts always make my day better so thanks you.

don't worry, i want to

~ * ~ The Love Languages of an Arbiter Acts of Service:

Giving: -One of the main ways Binah expresses affection. Whether it’s during her time at Lobotomy Corporation or when the Library opens its doors, she strives for ways to make your life easier.-Listen, she was forced to become the Extraction Sephirah, she knows how difficult and tedious your job could be and it didn’t get much easier in the Library. -Plus, acts of service mean that she can show she cares while being subtle about it- and that’s really what Binah’s love is all about, subtlety. She’s not one for grand romantic gestures, preferring smaller, quieter things that accumulate over time. It makes for a more constant show of appreciation, she thinks. -Sometimes you’ll wake up and find that your paperwork has been sorted in alphabetical order. Or maybe the books Angela wanted you to put away have already been shelved. Or, most commonly, you’ll find a cup of steaming hot tea waiting for you after a long day, Binah sitting across from you and holding whatever novel you’ve been flipping through lately, so she can join you in reading.

Receiving: -Binah’s very appreciative of anything you do for her- she’s ranked higher than you, both as a Sephirah and a Patron Librarian, so the thought of you trying to make her life a little easier or just doing things out of goodwill makes her heart warm a little bit. -Unfortunately you can’t help her with much of her work unless it’s just sorting some things, since you’re not qualified for it, so you settle for tasks that don’t involve papers and books. -One of your favorite acts of service is restocking her tea when she runs out. She’s not sure how you procure it so quickly and so quietly, but often enough she’ll be out of a blend one day only for a full box to magically appear the next day. -You’ll know she found out when she comes up behind you and pats your head, murmuring a small “Thank you” in your ears.

Quality Time:

Giving:-Speaking of reading together, Binah spends time with you as often as possible, which unfortunately isn’t very often in Lobotomy Corporation. It gets much better in the Library, since she can easily steal you away for a tea party if you’re not actively in a Reception. -She’s gotten into this habit of simply picking you up and carrying you away when she wants to see you, and if you protest she just shushes you with a kiss. -All the invites she extends to the other Librarians for tea? Yeah, you’re the one she wants to accept the most, and her demeanor is just a little bit brighter if you do find the time to attend- it might not seem like much, but it’s a big change for someone as calm and mysterious as Binah. -But unlike the others, she also puts aside time for just the two of you, time where you’re the only two people in the world and that’s all that matters. If there are areas of the Library that are outdoors, she’ll gladly bring some treats so you can have a little picnic together. Or if you just want to indulge in one of your hobbies, Binah will be by your side to keep you company, watching calmly and asking questions here and there, because she loves watching you do anything.

Receiving: -If you go out of your way to spend time with her, Binah might actually cry. -Not much, mind you, just a tear or two, but it means the world to her. Although she tries to deny it, Binah is incredibly lonely, being locked away in the Extraction Department during each cycle, then being confined to the Floor of Philosophy and surrounded by people who fear her. Yes, she wears solitude wonderfully well, but she despises it, too. -She’s used to being the one inviting others, setting up gatherings and chats with the other Librarians, so when you extend a hand to her instead she’s both surprised and touched, even if she doesn’t show it outwardly. And you do it so casually, like you’re asking her how the weather is instead of inviting an ex-Arbiter to spend time with you. -Yes, she knows you do it because you love her and want to be by her side, but it’s such a foreign concept that she can’t help but pause, blinking a few times as your words set in. -Then a small smile blooms across Binah’s face, her hand slipping into yours as she asks you to lead the way. She doesn’t care what you’re doing- it can be anything- as long as she gets to spend time with you; it’s like the hollow emptiness that was so present in her life is mended whenever you’re nearby. -To her, it doesn’t matter what you want to do. As long as you’re there with her, she’ll enjoy herself. -Sidenote, Binah has a softer smile that she only uses around you, and her features subtly light up when she does, it’s beautiful.

Physical Touch:

Giving: -Binah doesn’t initiate physical touch very often, not because she doesn’t want to! It’s partially because she doesn’t want to hurt you by mistake and also because she simply forgets that physical touch is an option. Most of her years were spent killing and torturing people, she’s not used to touching someone out of love. -When she does remember, it’s the gentlest, most delicate touch you’ve ever felt. She’s very hesitant at the beginning, since she’s very aware of her strength, so most of the time it’s a simple hand on your shoulder before she slowly upgrades to patting your head. -The first time Binah holds your hand, she’s surprised at how much warmer you are than her- she tends to run a bit cold- and immediately moves to lace her fingers with yours. -She’s very fond of curling her little finger around yours when you stand next to each other. It’s a subtle way of saying that she’s there for you and that you’re safe. -Likes kissing you on the forehead, because when she pulls back she can get lost in the loving way you look at her.

Receiving: -There’s no beating around the bush, Binah is touch-starved. -Not in the sense that she’s clingy, but in the way that occurs because she’s never been hugged or held gently in her life. -So the first time you hug her she stiffens, immediately wanting to defend herself. But then she registers what you’re doing and the warmth of your arms and how securely you’re holding her, and she just absolutely melts. -To anyone else she looks the exact same, but you can feel her slump a little before she returns the gesture, a small sigh escaping her as she leans against you. She’s going to want a hug every day after that, and she will stare at you from across the room if you forget. Whenever you finish a Reception she always whisks you away for a quick hug if you’re not too injured. -Binah loves snuggling with you, no questions asked. The most common way is for you to be on her lap as she sits in her favorite armchair, gazing down at you as you lean your head against her shoulder. Occasionally you reach up to cup her cheeks in your hands, feeling her soft skin under your fingertips and watching her eyes shut briefly, her normally stoic expression softening just a tad. She’ll also let you braid her hair, if you know how. -She’s the big spoon when you’re sleeping, it makes her feel like she’s protecting you even when you’re both unconscious. Plus, the sight of your sleeping face when she wakes up is enough to energize her for the entire day, without drinking even a single cup of tea.

Gifts:

Giving: -Binah’s not a big gift-giver, it makes her feel like she’s trying to buy your affection, which she most certainly isn’t. That being said, she’s not completely opposed to it, she simply doesn’t shower you with gifts (and frankly neither do you). -The things she does give you are usually small and fall into at least one of two categories: having a practical use, or having a deeper meaning. -For example, she gifted you a notebook when she noticed you liked jotting things down on scraps of paper you came across, as well as a good, sturdy pen. Just for fun, she made sure it was black and gold to remind you of her, and you carry the notebook everywhere you go. -Perhaps the sweetest gift she’s given you was the matching earring to the one she wore as a Sephirah- she gave it to you as a way of confessing her affections. You don’t wear it that often anymore, since she swapped her own out for the small gold pair, but occasionally you’ll both wear the matching pair for fun. It makes her smile when she sees you wearing it in the hallway. -One day she swears she’ll give you one of her rings. One day.

Receiving: -She’s rather neutral on being gifted things, except if, again, they’re practical or have some sweetness put into them. If you like hand making small crafts, she’ll absolutely accept one as a gift. For example if you make her a bookmark or a coaster for her teacup, she’ll internally melt. -Another thing she’ll always accept is matching jewelry. Just like her own rings and earrings, if you gift her one half of a pair, she’ll make sure to wear hers whenever you wear yours. -But Binah really doesn’t need you to give her gifts to know that you love her, and if you worry about it, she’ll just tell you that you are the best gift the world has ever given her, and nothing could ever be lovelier.

Words of Affirmation:

Giving: -Probably the weakest of the love languages for Binah, in terms of giving it. She’s just not a very openly lovey-dovey person, and while she’s good at going off on cryptic tangents, she’s not very good at verbally expressing herself. -It’s mostly because she finds little need for words when in your presence- you seem to bring out this blanket of calm and peace whenever you’re nearby, and she wants nothing more than to quietly relish the feeling with you by her side. -Occasionally you’ll hear her whisper “I love you” when you’re in her arms, or a soft pet name, but for the most part you’re both content just existing with each other. -She does try to tell you that you did well after a particularly difficult Reception, and even back in L Corp she would always give you a small pat on the head after suppressing an Abnormality- she’s trying her best. -But once in a while, you’ll catch her watching you from across the table, and when you pipe up and ask about it she’ll flatter you with a long and eloquent compliment, a faint smile on her face as she watches you stumble over your words in response. It’s almost like a surprise, and she does like surprising you.

Receiving: -All her life, Binah has been complimented mainly about how good she was at her job, at maiming, slaughtering. And every time, the praise brought nothing to the emptiness she felt, they were just meaningless words to fill the air. -But when you compliment her, it’s so… genuine. You compare her to stars and flowers and the moon, because you truly think that she’s beautiful, that she’s intelligent, that she’s strong and elegant and incredible. And when you say it, she does feel like all the things you praise her to be. -It surprises her when you tell her she’s gentle and kind. She was Garion, and now she’s Binah, and both are known for their cold, sadistic tendencies- and yet here you are, with the brightest smile on your face, complimenting her to the Head and back. -Her favorite phrase, though, is simple and a little cliche. It’s when you lean your head back to look at her and say “I love you” for all the world to hear. There’s no hesitation in your voice, no doubts in your mind. If there’s anything that flusters her even slightly, it’s that.

[uupdirector]

The Eve Cometh Again

"Another day, another Christmas" is what I would be saying if I hadn't been doing all I could to bring my life to a point where I'm not only working hard at bringing the best possible life for myself, but also slowly but surely regaining the love I had for all the hobbies that kept me sound enough to enjoy said life. It's been a long journey to reach this point, and while I'm still fairly nervous about what the future beholds, I'm not going to let that hold me back on reaching the goals I have laid out for me. There's far more excitement than anxiousness, and sometimes I have to tell myself that so I don't end up getting pulled back into the gutter, but it's because of that excitement that I'm fairly happy this Christmastime.

I have something big planned not just for myself, but to everyone that's continued to see my journey and enjoy all the stories and goofs I've had to share. But today, I want to take the time to provide some letter-like notes to a few of my closest friends that have continued to help me smile over the years.

Let's start with my chums from the Joy Charged Gamerz Crew - first of all, sorry again for not being active on the channel this year xD I know the channel is meant to be more laid back and should only be obliged when we feel comfortable enough to do so. It doesn't change the fact that even now, I'm forever thankful to have been granted the opportunity to not only help and see the channel grow, but also create some fantastic memories with great friends. With the new year on the horizon, I hope we get the chance to create some more memories, and since I've been taking some time to play more games again, I hope that this spark will give me the chance to continue charging others with joy. Merry Christmas, lads, and love ya'll 💛

To many of the new friends that I've had the joy of hanging with a TON this year - @soybeanzoffical, @onyxcolonyart, Slime Guy/mrmendezgamer1, Rambles, Namor, @sparxsiris, Nate, @rubyshimmer0x, and many others, thank you all for being a supportive bunch of lads. Even though we've had a lot of bullying escapades in the past year, I can look back and get a little chuckle out of 'em x3 Much love to ya'll, and here's to another year of my dumbass shenanigans! Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, buds :'3 🩷

To one of my good buds in animation, TheInvertedShadow (@asktheshadows), I know we've not spent as much time together, and we've both been going through our own fair share of down moments, but I just wanna leave another reminder for ya; you are always loved and cared for by thousands - if not millions of people, and as one of them, I'm glad to have seen your talent grow since I first laid eyes on your EoI video 10 years back. And if I knew we were going to be a chaotic duo of friendship back then, I'd probably call myself crazy xD But to be serious - you've always been such a supportive friend since we first spoke together back in 2016, and for that, I can't thank you enough, and I'm happy to call ya one of my best friends. Thank you so much for all the great memories, and here's to many more in the future - we both got a lot ahead of us, for sure ;) Merry Christmas, lad ❤️

And speaking of which, to another one of my best buds; Will Ryan (DAGames). Man - what a year it's been, hasn't it? Since the start, you've been constantly moving yourself up higher and higher, and being along with ya for the ride has been nothing short of a blast. I'm legitimately proud of you for all the accomplishments you've made - from the release of HOAA:R (btw to everyone else, bls stream Castle that Burns, kthxbai xD ), the launch of Solitude: Subject Placement, and all the conventions you attended. On that note, it was fucking amazing to be able to see ya again at MomoCon this year, and not just for a day, at that! The experience itself was already amazing as it was, but to be able to hang out with you, the crew, and some of our other friends was probably one of the best memories from this year. I still get choked up thinking back to the concert when Living Life Without The Cord and Gold: SSD played, and I'm so happy that it turned out so well. I know the year hasn't come without it's downsides either, but the fact you persevered regardless and brought some great times with it is something you can't knock. On that note, I also have my own share of thanks to give. I'm wholeheartedly grateful of all the support you've given me during the production of Scarlet Combine leading up to the launch of Storm Before The Calm. To be in a similar pair of shoes that you've worn, it's given me some semblance to the feelings and experiences you've had when you first released HOAA. It can't entirely be compared - that much I know, but to have made something of this calibur has shown me that the work of an artist of any kind isn't to be taken lightly, and while I too wish there were things I could have done better with my album, it doesn't change the fact that I'm proud to have made it possible regardless, and I have you to thank as one of my pillars of inspiration. And even though we may not have had the same experiences with our projects, one thing I can say is that it's helped me understand enough to have your back even more than I have before. It may be difficult to push out the negative thoughts that came from releasing Resurrection, but once you understand the obstacles in your Pursuit of Hope are meant to guide you to the joy you're seeking, it all comes slightly more naturally. I haven't given up on my own pursuit, so don't give up on yours. Thank you for everything, Will, and I love ya to fuckin bits. Merry Christmas, bud 💚

Now, to all the fans that have kept up with my bullshit for so long (sorry by the way xD ), thank you all for being so supportive and patient with me as I work towards the new year - a lot has been on my mind during this long break, and thankfully I'm pushing ever closer to a brighter end where I can be happy with the things I've enjoyed doing for years. There's a lot to look forward to, and I can't wait to talk about some of it when the Resolution of 2024 rolls in on January 15th. I love you all, and I hope you all enjoy the holiday season leading up to the new year.💙

And finally, I have one last person I'd like to speak to; my love, @aspennightray (Shut up, I know it's gay xDD). Words can't express how happy I am to have you in my life. I know this year has had it's struggles for the both of us, and I know that my dumbassery has caused its fair share of frustration with you in fixing some of those things, but this year has also brought some great memories as well. When we first met face-to-face for MomoCon, it was admittedly weird to continue from there like it was just another Discord call, but if anything, it helped make the transition to our time spent in the following 2 weeks all the more comfortable. I won't beat around the bush, but that was by far the best time of my life in such a long while, and has made me confident enough that you are the one I want to be with. While there's been quite a few potholes making the journey to that point fairly difficult, I still haven't given up yet, and I don't plan to anytime soon. You've done so much for me in the past year we've been together for, and while I know many of them were things I could have done myself or many other friends could have done for me, but I suppose it just has more meaning to me knowing it comes from you, especially with how much it's helped me get off my ass and take care of myself. Despite the tail end of this year feeling a bit off for a multitude of reasons, none of that overshadows the fact that it's been an amazing one, and i can't thank you enough for it. I also can't thank you enough for all you've done to bring my ideas to life - no matter how beautiful they've turned out (and they certainly ARE beautiful <3 ), none of that matters as much as the fact that you made it possible. Sure, they may have been "jobs" at the end of the day, but your fascination, interest, and support for Scarlet Combine has been a core spark in ensuring that I completed it, and that means so much to me. Despite the jokes, bullying, and a few moments of irritation, I know you've always believed in my ability to create this new world of mine, and though it will take a good while before I continue it again, I'm excited for what we'll do with it together. Thank you so much for everything, hon, and I hope this Christmas turns out well for you. Even if it doesn't, know that I'll still be here to help make it just a little bit brighter. I love you so much 💜

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and here's to an even Happier New Year to you all 🎄

[padfootagain]

Masterlist - Requests are closed - The tag list is open!

Hello!!

I hope all of you have a wonderful time for the end of this crazy year! Here is the posting schedule for the upcoming three weeks, I'll have some time to write during the holidays, right before exam season strikes in January, so hopefully we can keep this rhythm up through January and February!

We're also welcoming a new character that I'll be adding to the masterlist! Because I have no self-control, and am going to hell for this... hope you like it! :D

Wishing all of you a merry Christmas for those who celebrate, and a happy new year! Hope you like the new fics!

19/12/2023 - The Car Trap

Hozier x Reader, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, oneshot

Summary: You're offered a job in Switzerland, and you're ready to accept it. It would offer you a new beginning, a way to forget about the love you have for your best friend. But a trip through a snowstorm with Andrew might change everything...

22/12/2023 - Chapter 23 for Something Good

Ben Barnes x Reader, Professor AU!, angst, fluff, slow-burn, enemies to lovers, on-going series

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already iss. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

25/12/2023 - Home For Christmas

Hozier x Reader, fluff, nothing but fluff, oneshot

Summary: Andrew is on tour during the Christmas season. Unless... he's got a surprise for you on Christmas Eve!

28/12/2023 - Black Dog Neighbour

Sirius Black x reader, enemies to lovers, fluff, requested by @nobodyshomearchive for my 6k event, oneshot

Summary: God, you hate that guy next door. Bloody annoying neighbour with his noisy motorcycle, his loud friends, his annoying laugh, his charming smile, his amazing hair, his effortless way to sport sexy leather jackets. He’s insufferable, you hate him to bits. The fact that he’s a talented wizard who can magically change into a dog to guard your door when your ex comes bothering you again will not change your first impression in the slightest, by the way. You still hate him to guts. Probably…

31/12/2023 - Chapter 4 for The Last Ones on Earth

The Darkling x reader, angst, fluff, on-going series

Summary: You and the Darkling are a team, even if no one knows it. Beyond being a team, you are the only one he trusts, and he's the only one you care about, and you're each other's true love. But if you've kept your secrets hidden for a long time, now that the Sun Summoner is fighting against you, it's time to reveal who you are, and what you are capable of...

03/01/2024 - Pink Helmet

Sirius Black x reader, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, requested by @wolfmoonmusic for my 6k event, oneshot

Summary: You get jealous on a night out with your friends, because Sirius is flirting with some random girl at the bar. Your anger is about to cause a chain reaction that will bring unsuspected consequences… for the better.

06/01/2024 - When We Were Lying

Hozier x Reader, angst, friends to lovers, fake dating AU, angst to fluff, oneshot

Summary: Your ex is attending your family gathering for Christmas and there is no way you're going to face that alone. Of course, you drag your best friend into this, and he's too smitten with you to say no when you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend. Although, the fact that you both have feelings for each other might end up being a problem...

09/01/2024 - Chapter 6 for You and the King

Caspian x reader, Sequel to The King and You, angst, fluff, on-going series

Summary : After meeting Caspian in your own world, you decide to follow him to Narnia, your love for him too strong for you to keep your old life. But as you discover the magic of Narnia, you soon realise that this extraordinary world is as dangerous as it is magnificent. Will your love for Caspian be enough to defeat your new enemies?

12/01/2024 - Bookshelves

Ben Barnes x reader, fluff, domestic bliss, requested for my 6k event, oneshot

Summary: Nothing’s better than reorganizing your bookshelves with the love of your life on a crispy autumnal afternoon…

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Christmas Reruns 2023 Day 8: Have Yourself a merry Little Christmas (1/3)

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it and happy holidays if you don’t!  One of the things I love about Christmas is watching reruns of all the old classic Christmas movies–Christmas is a big time for nostalgia.  A few years ago, I decided to incorporate that tradition into my fandom life and post my CS holiday reruns.  So here you go!  Enough holiday (mostly) fluff to get you to New Year’s Day. (With a new story posting on Christmas Day.)

Word Count: 2166

Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Note: This story was first posted in 2014

Chapter 1: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Notes: This story was originally written in 2014. Killian is perplexed by all the lights and music and hustle and bustle that starts to appear around Storybrooke just after Thanksgiving, but luckily Henry helps him figure out what this “Christmas” is all about. He makes it his mission to help Emma overcome the pain of her past so she can truly get into the spirit of the season.

It all began to appear at the end of November, as far as Killian could tell. Last Thursday, Swan had invited him to join her and her family for the celebration of something called “Thanksgiving,” a holiday, as best he could tell, which consisted of gorging oneself on exorbitant amounts of food and then watching a sporting event called “football.”

The next day, the entire feel and tenor of Storybrooke changed in an instant—brightly colored lights adorning every conceivable surface, evergreen wreaths twined with ribbons, gracing doors and walls, portraits and figurines of a rather portly man with a long white beard and a red coat wherever one looked. Most mystifying of all, the fairies, who Regina had managed to free from the sorcerer’s hat, had erected a replica of a stable in which a woman, several men, cows, horses and a donkey knelt before a tiny baby lying in what looked like a manger. 

Even the music that blared from every shop and eating establishment had changed. It appeared a holiday entitled “Christmas” was fast approaching.  Judging by the songs of the season, Christmas involved a jolly man who drove a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer (one of which had a red, glowing nose), a deity who came to earth as an infant born of a virgin, families and loved ones spending time together, peace and goodwill among all, and gift giving.

It was utterly bewildering.

Killian sat in his booth in the diner, sipping his coffee and waiting for Swan’s lad to join him for breakfast when the most perplexing sight of all met his eyes.

The bell above the door chimed, and Killian’s eyes widened as he watched a very bad-tempered Leroy step inside dragging a gigantic fir tree behind him. A generous coat of snow covered the dwarf from head to foot and fell from the tree in clumps.

“Leroy!” Granny bellowed. “You’re tracking snow all over my diner.  What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry, sister,” Leroy muttered in a voice which proved he was anything but. “You asked me to bring you a Christmas tree, and a Christmas tree I brought.  Ain’t my fault Mother Nature chose today to dump on us.”

“You couldn’t have shaken the damn thing off before you came in?” Granny continued, her hands planted on her generous hips.

Leroy glared. “Look, you don’t like the way I do the job you gave me?  Do it yourself.”

Granny rolled her eyes, and then threw up her hands. “Fine, just put it in the corner, get it decorated and stop blocking my doorway.”

Christmas involved bringing trees indoors and decorating them? What an odd custom.

Leroy grumbled under his breath as he hoisted the massive fir onto his shoulder and crept laboriously toward the corner Granny indicated. He fought with the tree for some time, cursing under his breath as he tried…and failed…to hold it steady while simultaneously securing it in the stand Granny had placed in the far corner.

“Hey pirate!” Leroy called from beneath the tree’s boughs. “I could use a hand or two.”

Killian grinned, set his coffee back upon the table and got to his feet. “Alas, dwarf, I have but one to lend.”

Leroy emerged from the tree and fixed a surly scowl on Killian. “Not in the mood for jokes.  Just get your leather clad ass over here!”

Killian sketched a mocking bow and ambled in the dwarf’s direction. “As you’ve deigned to ask so politely, I’m at your service.  What precisely do you need of me?”

“Just hold the damn thing steady while I get it screwed in.”

Killian complied, holding the tree still, while Leroy tightened screws fastening the trunk into a stand of sorts.

“Now, next job: untangle the lights and string them on the tree,” Leroy commanded.

“Er…” Killian said, scratching behind his ear, “what the bloody hell does that mean?”

Leroy glared for a moment before rolling his eyes. “Don’t you know anything about Christmas?  Grab that string of lights over there, untangle it, and wrap it around the tree.”

The bell over the door chimed once more, and Killian looked up to see Henry, rosy cheeked from the cold and bundled within an inch of his life, walk in. Mentally heaving a sigh of relief, he turned to Leroy.  “Sorry, mate,” he said, “I’ve plans to dine with Swan’s lad.  I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone else to assist you.”

Leroy continued to mutter as Killian made his way back to his booth, but otherwise, mercifully, kept his opinions to himself.

“Hey Killian!” Henry called as he peeled off his hat, scarf, gloves and coat and plopped down in the booth.

“Good morning lad,” Killian greeted with an affectionate ruffle of the boy’s hair, “how are you this frigid morning?”

“Starving,” Henry said, grabbing a menu. “I could eat an elephant.”

Killian laughed. Such was the lot of a pre-teen boy.  Swan had complained just last night that her lad was eating her out of house and home.  “I’ve yet to see elephant on Granny’s menu.  Suppose we settle for pancakes and bacon?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Killian flagged down Ruby, who appeared with the lad’s usual hot cocoa with cinnamon.   He placed their orders, and then sat back in his seat, watching with amusement as Henry swiped a generous dollop of cream from the top of his beverage with one finger and then happily licked it clean.

“So why’d you ask me to have breakfast with you?” Henry asked after taking his first sip and sighing with contentment.

Killian grinned. “Does a man need a reason to ask his mate to dine with him?”

“Well, no,” Henry said, “but when you called last night, you said you had things you wanted to discuss.”

“True enough,” Killian remarked after taking another swig of his coffee. “As the days pass, it becomes increasingly evident to me that I need to ascertain just what this ‘Christmas’ holiday entails.  I asked you mum about it, but she seemed unwilling to discuss the matter.”

A shadow passed across the lads face. Killian watched him closely.

“Yeah,” Henry said, uncomfortably, “she doesn’t seem to want to have anything to do with Christmas. I was hoping now that she’s gotten settled in her new apartment, she’d let me help her decorate, but she doesn’t want to put up a tree or stockings or make cookies or anything.”

“These are traditions of the holiday?”

“Yeah, and Mom wouldn’t even discuss any of it,” Henry took another sip and frowned. “It was kind of like that last year too.  She finally put up a tree for me, but she really didn’t want to.”

“And it’s important to you to observe these traditions?” Killian asked carefully, trying to assess the root of the lad’s obvious unhappiness.

Henry shrugged. “Yeah, but, I mean, it’s not that.  My other mom is doing all the Christmas stuff and so are Grandma and Grandpa.  It’s just that I’m worried about Mom.  It doesn’t seem like she’s just being a Grinch or something; Christmas seems to really upset her.”

What precisely was a “Grinch?” No matter.  The import of the lad’s words was clear enough.  “Would you like me to talk to your mum?”

“I was hoping you would,” Henry admitted. “If anyone can make her feel better it’s you.”

Killian grinned. “It would be my pleasure, Henry.  I’ve plans to meet your mother for lunch.  I’ll broach the subject then.”

“Thanks, I’m really glad she has you.” Henry looked away uncomfortably.  “Look, Killian, about what I said back when the Shattered Sight spell hit…”

Killian waved the lad’s words away with a negligent move of his hook. “Don’t concern yourself mate.  You were cursed; I’d hardly take your words to heart.”

“Still,” Henry said, “I just, you know, wanted you to know that I didn’t mean it. I do like you, and, well, I like how happy you make my mom.  I never saw her this happy, even when she was just about engaged to Walsh.”

Killian clapped Henry on the shoulder. “It’s mutual lad.  I enjoy the time we spend together, and I love your mother more than life itself.  I must say it’s heartening to hear that I make her happier than a charlatan in simian form.”

The wolf girl returned with two steaming plates of pancakes. Killian grinned in amusement as he watched Henry tuck into his breakfast with the gusto of one who hadn’t eaten in a week.  When the lad’s worst pangs of hunger were apparently sated, Killian returned to the subject at hand.

“Now, to return to the original topic of this discussion. I was content to merely watch the town’s dealings with regard to Christmas until I received your grandmother’s invitation to the town Christmas party.  Now I find it incumbent upon myself to learn what is expected of me with regard to this holiday.  For example, what precisely does a ‘dirty Santa gift exchange’ entail?”

Mary Margaret, as the current mayor of Storybrooke, had evidently decided that the best way to foster town unity and holiday spirit was to throw a party upon the occasion of Christmas. It was to be held on the eve of Christmas itself, and Swan’s mum had assured him that it would be an evening filled with joy and laughter.  She’d further assured him that he was free to spike his cup of eggnog with as much rum as he pleased.

“It’s awesome,” Henry said around a mouthful of bacon. “It’s kind of like a gift exchange and a game all wrapped up together.  Everybody brings a wrapped present, and then…”

The lad went on to describe a game worthy of a pirate—full of theft, strategy and the winning of loot.

“So, it would seem gift giving is an important part of this holiday?” Killian asked.

“Yeah,” Henry said, drawing out the syllable. “It’s not, like, the most important part of Christmas, but people like to give each other gifts at this time of year.  It’s a way to show people that you care about them.”

“Aye,” Killian said, nodding his head, “but that leads me to my next question. What precisely is a man expected to give to the woman he loves?  I’ve heard multiple renditions of a song which seems to provide a roadmap, but I find it difficult to believe that Swan would wish me to gift her with drummers and pipers and lords and dancers and multiple aviary creatures.  And what use could she possibly have for eight maids a-milking?”

Henry chuckled. “That’s just a song; no one actually gives their true love that kind of stuff!  But can I be there if you decide to give my mom eleven pipers piping?  Please?”

Killian took a bite of his breakfast and grinned. “I think I’ll avoid that particular spectacle.  I must say, I’m much relieved.  I hadn’t a clue where I was to find ten lords a-leaping.  If that quite motley list is not an example of the proper Christmas gifts for a man to give his true love, what is?”

Henry shrugged. “Nothing in particular, I don’t think.  Just give her something heartfelt—something that shows her how you feel about her.”

“That, I believe I can manage.”

Henry shook his head in evident disgust. “I’m sure you can.  You and mom are so sappy together it’s kind of sickening.”

Killian ruffled the lad’s hair again. “Just wait, Henry.  Your day will come.  One day you’ll find true love, and then you’ll be as ‘sappy’ as anyone.”

“Maybe,” Henry said skeptically. “So is that all you wanted to know?”

“I have but one more question to ask,” Killian said, dragging his last bite of pancake through his remaining syrup. He took his bite, chewed thoughtfully, and then looked at the lad.  “It seems mistletoe is quite important given its prominence in the music I’ve heard during the past week.  To my knowledge, it’s nothing but a weed, something of a nuisance.  Might I inquire what its purpose is during Christmastime?”

Henry groaned, and then buried his face within his hands. “I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you’ll never use it with mom when I’m around.”

–Up next, Killian takes Emma to lunch (and for a walk in the snowy woods), and gets to the bottom of just why she’s so resistant to anything related to Christmas. In true Killian fashion, he helps lift her spirits and get over some wounds from her past.

NEXT CHAPTER->

[haza8877]

Hi there

May i have a reading please? I'm mb, sag sun and sag moon. I wanna ask what changes should i prepare for 2024? Thank you for your time and energy.

Merry christmas and happy new year!

Hello MB 🤗🤗 

How are u? Happy New Year🎆🎆🎆🎇🎇🎇🎉 

Tarot card

(judgment, temperance, 2 of pen, 6 of pen, kinght of wands)

Hmmm, what I sense most in your energy is a noticeable imbalance. I'm not sure what you've been through in life, but I sense that you're still self-evaluating and reminiscing about past actions—a form of self-torment and internal turmoil. You may wish for everything to be balanced by trying to harmonize everything. However, the advice is that there are issues that cannot be harmonized, forcing you to make decisions. You can imagine yourself as a juggler, with the juggling balls representing the problems you'll encounter in life. There will be times when you catch one ball with one hand, and simultaneously you have to toss another ball. Be flexible in your choices rather than trying to force everything to harmonize. Additionally, reflecting on your actions is good, but don't get too immersed in it and torment yourself. We reflect on the past to do better in the present and future. 

 I also see that you want to help and support others in 2024, engaging in charitable activities or simply assisting those around you within your capabilities. I see that 2024 will bring you a lot of energy for action, creativity, and enthusiasm. Don't worry too much. Believe that 2024 will be absolutely wonderful for all of us.✨✨🎉 

Thank you for participating in my mini tarot game. 💖💖💖Take these messages openly and consider them as a gentle form of entertainment. 🌸🌸🌸💐💐💐💐 

[seetangus]

Merry Christmas!!! It’s been quite awhile, but I’m here now! Work has been sooo busy with the Christmas season. I barely have any time for myself. But here we are! Still glad to have you around. While Christmas is about family and friends being together (and getting ((even though I’m really awkward at getting gifts)) and giving gifts), but for me it’s also important religiously:

”For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭2‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

”And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”“

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭21‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Idk if you’re religious, but since we are getting to know each other a little bit, being a Christian is part of who I am. The Lord has given me many blessings, from a good job to a house that has heat during the winter to good family and friends. And the blessing of “meeting” you.

Have a Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year (in case I don’t send something) - 🌹

Merry Christmas!! It’s so nice to hear from you again :) I’m happy you are able to spend time around Christmas with friends and family, even if time fell short during Advent. I hope Christmas evening was good and you can relax during the days of Christmas. Is there a holiday in the US for this?

And you chose beautiful verses to send to me, allow me to return the favour:

“An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the clarity of the Lord shone around them; and they were very afraid. And the angel said unto them: “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”“

Luke 2; 9-10

I just love this verse. But since my absolutely favourite word in it is translated differently in English than in my language, I took the freedom of changing it I, hope you don’t mind 💀

I am also Christian so I fully understand what you mean when you say it’s a part of you. Recently, my ‘religious life’ has been as great as never before, and I have found some priests who give good sermons in my city. Also, listening to Bach’s Christmas oratorio or Händel’s Messiah that incorporate the verses from Luke 2 is simply “heavenly” (metaphorically and literally lol).

Merry Christmas to you too and Happy New Year! It’s always refreshing to answer your messages. ^^

- Seetang

[subtletruamadumping]

Family Group Chat

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This is a formatting-based poem, so it doesn't translate too well to Tumblr. I did my best to convey the same feeling using colors, spacing, and the limited amount of formatting that I can change. Some of these "texts" are lifted directly from real-life texts, calls, emails, and letters from my family.

TW: Religious imagery, homophobia

Date Written: January 16, 2022

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Dec 13, 2020

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Aww, look at this cute Puppy! Such a sweet doggie!

So sweet! What’s his name?

Grace! Punk cats are Rhett him. >:C

Cats are good at being punks.

Dane are Hannable

Cute

Dec 22, 2020

MERRRY CHRISTMAS!!

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU ALL ARE GOING TO BE COMING DOWN THIS YEAR

Dec 23, 2020

Sorry, we have to quarantine since everyone’s back from school over the holidays.

I have to work and can’t get any time off. Have a  great time!

PLEASE let me KNow if you are coming down for CHRISTmas.

I have the presents under tree alreaft!

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I can’t get time off so I won’t be able to come

Uuuhhhh, that suks! D:

Dec 25, 2020

MERRRY CHIRSTMAS!!

Your cousins were GOOD grandchilden and came to visitm e! Look at  all the fun they had!

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Merry Christmas!

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Merry Christmas

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WHEn are you visiting? Wehn is school out? Come visit!

Still in quartineten. 

We’ll let you know when we are available. 

Jan 1, 2021

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Feb 2, 2021

Wish your mother a happy birthday

Apr 6, 2021

Mom said you wanted to know my new address.

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Tnank you!

Tell me what you need and I’ll send it to you!

May 15, 2021

:C

I haven’t heard from you for a while.

Wish your sister a hapy birthday. 

I work a lot. Sorry.

OK well let me know wne to visit!

Aug 18, 2021

HaPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday!

It’s your birthday.

Thanks

Oct 3, 2021

Call me.

Oct 5, 2021

Call me.

Oct 6, 2021

Call your mom.

Oct 10, 2021

Have your mom call me.

Oct 11, 2021

Call me.

Why are you ignoring me?

I’ve done so much for you.

Oct 13, 2021

Call me.

Call me.

Oct 17, 2021

Call me.

You’re so ungrateful for eveyrthign I’ve done for you.

I sent you a card on your birthday and you can’t return my call?

Oct 18, 2021

Why won’t you call me?

I work at night and sleep during the day. You know this.

Then why are you wasting your time texting me now?

Oct 19, 2021

I see how it is. Nothing to say to me?

Nov 2, 2021

Still refusing to speak to me?

Nov 2, 2021

Is there something you need to talk about?

I miss you and there’s no reason for us to go months without communication. That’s crazy. I may not agree with your decisions but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a part of your life. I don’t want you to turn out like your older sister. She didn’t like what I had to say so she just abandoned me and spread lies behind my back. She’s kinda a turd to be honest. I  don’t want you to act like that.

Just get in touch.

You disagree with who I am as a person. Not my “decisions”. Being bi isn’t a decision. It’s just me. Comparing me to her is hurtful. I don’t keep in touch because you’ve shown over and over that you don’t respect me. You can’t bring yourself to accept me for who i am and that is not unconditional love. i won’t change or pretend to be different just to make you happy.

You’re the one that cut off communication and won’t let me explain myself. You’re the one that judged and blamed me. I never compared you to her, I said I didn’t want to be like her. I have every right to my own lifestyle just like you do.

Who’s really being unaccepting?

Do you accept that I’m gay?

It’s not like I’m living in denial that you’re not. You can choose that for your life and be gay all you want. I’m still your mom. Does that mean I’ll let you bring home a girlfriend? Nope. Does that mean I’m going to stop being Catholic or vote for LGBT issues? Nope. That’s my right just like how you have yours. I still respect you but I will always vote against liberal bills for LGBT rights. People like that are ruining society and shouldn't be allowed that kind of stuff.

God sent you to me as a gift. Even if you don’t agree with my beliefs, God and I will always be ready when you’re ready to come back. We can still have a relationship even if we have our differences. When you're done being mad at God and spending your life in sin, let me know.

You harp on me for not communicating but you aren’t doing it either. The last time you called, i  answered. Working on a few differences is fine but this is more than that. It’s our very morals that are different. 

But does that mean that you should just hide and not even speak to the other person? Isn’t that why the world is so angry? Because people with different ideals and different morals refuse to speak lovingly to one another? I can still respect you despite being morally different. Why can’t you? If you continue down this path, don't expect to ever be able to talk to your siblings again.

I said we could talk. I just said that you also have to put in some effort. The last time you called, I answered. You know I work 3rd shift. Even if you didn’t mean it, it felt like you were comparing us. If you are confused about why I’m upset, look back at your texts.

Nov 6, 2021

Pray for me.

Nov 14, 2021

Love you and miss u!

Nov 25, 2021

HAPPY THNAKS GIVING!

Happy Turkey Day! :)

Nov 27, 2021

Call me.

Nov 28, 2021

Call me.

Dec 1, 2021

Call me.

You on’t gert any christmas presents if you don’t.

Dec 4, 2021

Call me.

Dec 6, 2021

Pray for me.

Dec 8, 2021

Pray for me.

Pray for forgiveness for your sins.

Dec 9, 2021

Pray for me.

Dec 12, 2021

Are you coming for christmas???

Your grandgaper and uncle I really miss you :(

I have work.

Are yous ure?

Dec 15, 2021

Pray for me.

Dec 17, 2021

Pray for me.

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Look this prayer is specifically for grandparents! :D

Dec 19, 2021

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Look this prayer is specifically for grandparents! :D

Dec 20, 2021

Look this prayer is specifically for grandparents! :D

Dec 21, 2021

Pray for me.

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Look this prayer is specifically for grandparents! :D

Dec 22, 2021

Please let me know if your coming for christmad! If not  giveme a call!

I don’t want to talk and  I’ll be working over Christmas.

:(

OK Such a shame.

I guess you won’t be getting any money from me anytime soon.

Dec 25, 2021

MERRY CHURHMAS!!

Merry christmas!

Dec 27, 2021

Here’s a prayer I think you need.

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Dec 28, 2021

Look at all the fun the good grandchildren had! Your cousins sure know how to pary!

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Jan 1, 2021

You have turned your back on God and your family, my dear.

Your actions have consequences.

Auld Lang Syne

[fangirleaconmigo]

Happy holidays and, to those who celebrate, Merry Christmas Eve!

My gift to you, Jaskel nation, (and to @vix-spes who I actually wrote this for) a Jaskier x Eskel modern AU. Explicit because sex scene but it isn't that explicit.

Eskel owns a children's bookshop. It has been a year since the accident, and he is still working on his new normal. Jaskier visits the shop once a week to lead singalongs for the children. This is the story of how Eskel takes a chance on a flirtatious, nerd of a children's musician on Christmas Eve.

Try Me (also on AO3)

Eskel

The cozy bookshop glittered merrily. Twinkling lights encircled the windows and hung from the ceiling like icicles. Tinsel curled carefully around the staircase banister and the counter. Holly hung above the mantle. A little abominable snowman stood guarding the register.

The Holler Children's Bookshop was at the ready, poised to welcome the kids for a holiday storytime and sing-along.

Eskel, the bookshop owner, stepped back from his goodie platter and eyed it judgmentally. The lemon bars were a little squished. He dropped the tupperware on the way in, but thankfully the lid had been on securely. He readjusted the mint sprig, centering it perfectly in the middle.

He checked his sweater for lint and ran his fingers through his hair, patting down the unruly bit in the middle.

Shit.

He’d better wash his hands again. He still had to plate the cookies. He arranged a second platter with three kinds of cookies and hummed to himself. He changed the arrangement three times before he stepped back and sighed.

In one hour, various children hopped up on candy canes and holiday cheer were going to descend upon his shop.

That wasn’t why he felt nervous.

Eskel was comfortable around children. You always knew where you stood with them.

No. It wasn’t the children.

Eskel was nervous because his favorite volunteer was on his way. At any minute, Jaskier would traipse in with his doe eyes and wire rim glasses. He would probably be wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, which would somehow be adorable on him, and he would definitely have a guitar slung over his shoulder.

Jaskier was the musician that came in weekly to lead the children in a sing-along. Eskel always felt like a wreck around him. It was stupid. Charming, gregarious, handsome men were just like that. They flirted and piled on compliments, and when they talked to you, they made you feel like the only person in the world. He shouldn’t take it to heart.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time Jaskier turned his brilliant light on him and called him darling or gorgeous, he melted into a puddle.

Hell, the treat platter wasn’t even for the kids. Eskel supposedly spent his Thursday nights baking new treats for sing-along day. But really, he just liked to see Jaskier squeeze his eyes shut to savor his baking.

He always put them out an hour ahead of time, because Jaskier always arrived early. They spent a quiet hour chatting about anything and everything while Eskel restocked the shelves and Jaskier set up the chairs. They’d actually become quite close, so you would think Eskel would be used to it. That he wouldn’t get these damnable butterflies. And yet, they just got worse by the day.

His phone chimed. It was Geralt.

Hey don’t forget. Dinner at 7. Bring a guest if you want.

Eskel snorted and texted back

I’ll be there. Just me.

He stuck his phone in a drawer.

He hadn’t dated since the accident. The trauma of it and the remaining scars had demolished his confidence in that aspect. He felt perfectly at ease around the kids, or his family. They didn’t care how he looked. They only cared that he was Eskel. But just the thought of trying to be sexually appealing or the mere the prospect of braving rejection sent him into a panic.

He was much calmer and happier without the stress of anything romantic intruding on his life. Sure, he was a bit frustrated physically. But that was what his right hand was for. It was fine.

But then Jaskier had walked into his shop with a tweed jacket and stupidly kissable lips, talking about the importance of supporting your local independent bookstores. He asked whether he could do a weekly sing-along. Eskel agreed, and combined the singalongs with his weekly storytime. That was when it all had gone to hell.

Eskel decided to nurse his ridiculous crush silently until Jaskier quit. He expected it to be soon. One of his performances went viral a month or so ago and his following exploded. He wasn’t going to stay in this small town for long.

The bell above the front door jingled.

“Hello!” Jaskier’s voice rang out through the shop. Even his speaking voice had a musical quality to it. “Oh, wow, it smells delicious in here.”

Eskel’s stomach fluttered. He emerged from the office and stopped in his tracks. It was sprinkling outside and he hadn't even noticed. Jaskier was standing inside the shop, brushing water from the ugliest Christmas sweater he had ever seen. It was orange and had tassels. Why would a Christmas sweater be orange? Jaskier looked up as he stamped his boots on the mat. When he saw Eskel, his eyes crinkled with affection.

“Well, hello, handsome. I think you may even have me beat in the ugly sweater department.”

Eskel reflexively looked down at his sweater, as though he wasn’t the one who had put it on that morning. It was a vivid, almost fluorescent green Grinch sweater. The original animation, of course. None of this Jim Carrey or Benedict Cumberbatch mediocrity.

“What do you mean, ‘ugly’? Mine is amazing.” Eskel self-consciously smoothed his sweater down.

“Of course it is. It’s on you.” While Eskel flushed, Jaskier’s eyes dropped to the platter. “Ohhhhh, hello, my lovelies.” He swiped a lemon bar with impressive speed.

The sounds of the rain grew heavier.

It was only then that Eskel saw the long line of children outside the shop, huddled under the overhang with their parents.

“The line wraps around the building.” Jaskier said tentatively with what may have been pride. “I posted about it on my instagram.” He took a bite of the pastry and his eyes squeezed closed in bliss. “Aaaaaah, your lemon bars are orgasmic. You are a king among men.”

Eskel, predictably, fluttered.

Jaskier nodded towards the door. “But we should probably let them in. If you're cold, they're cold, you know what they say.”

“Right, right.” Eskel put the tray out of sight and opened up early. The children poured in, giggling and shouting, bundled in coats and scarves. There were so many of them that they had to do four separate story times to accommodate everyone.

Each session was the same. Eskel and Jaskier sat next to each other on low stools, and the kids sat in a semicircle at their feet.

Today it would be a holiday-themed reading and sing-along. Eskel had chosen The Polar Express as his first book. When he read, he tried to do all the voices, plus some sound effects. Jaskier watched attentively and reacted right along with the children. He laughed and yelped and applauded with delight.

Eskel almost didn’t know what to do with himself. It made him feel slightly pleasantly embarrassed, but it also made him feel like the best storyteller to ever pick up a book.

Jaskier’s first song was ‘Winter Wonderland’. Eskel tapped his feet in time and watched intently. It was a relief to be able to stare without it being weird. Jaskier was just so expressive. He connected with the kids flawlessly. And his voice. Oh, his voice. It made Eskel feel things he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

They would trade off like that, a story and a song, for about twenty minutes. Then they let that group out into the store and began with the next group.

Since there were so many new children he didn’t know, someone in each group had questions about his face.

Kids asked if it hurt, how it happened, and whether he liked his scars. He answered that no, they didn’t hurt anymore, he had been in an accident, and that he neither liked nor disliked them. They were just another part of him.

The questions didn’t make him uncomfortable. It was actually why he preferred working with children. There was no weird tension while people tried to act like they didn’t notice. Kids were just open about things. It made him feel more comfortable and less self-conscious.

One little girl announced that her dad had told her what being gay is, and asked if Eskel and Jaskier were boyfriends.

Jaskier cheerily told her “From your lips to god's ears, my child.”

Why did he have to be so gallant? It was physically painful at this point. Eskel explained that they were just colleagues.

Between readings, Eskel spent all day running back and forth to the register. Jaskier helped without being asked. He ushered people around the store looking for books. He always sounded so confident, even though Eskel knew for a fact he had no idea where he shelved the Curious George hardbacks or that one book with a red cover. Yet somehow, he always faked it until he managed.

The hours flew by, and before Eskel could think about the time, the children were gone. Eskel closed the door with a jingle behind the last customer. He turned the key in the lock. It clicked decisively.

He hung the key on a hook, and pulled in a deep breath, turning around to take in the mess of the shop. His eyes fell on Jaskier and he exhaled. Jaskier was leaning against the counter across from the register, watching Eskel. His hair, which was fluffy on a good day, was haphazardly ruffled. He sipped a cup of cider, god knows where he had found it, since Eskel had forgotten to take it out of the office. He always made himself at home, and it always made Eskel feel good. Like they were close.

He was suddenly acutely aware that he was alone with Jaskier. He cleared his throat. “Thank you for staying late. For helping. I really appreciate it.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked back to the register.

“It was my fault it was so crowded. I should have warned you. But if I warned you, and nobody showed up, I would have been mortified.”

Jaskier straightened up as Eskel drew closer. He looked as though he was considering something.

“What?” Eskel asked. He leaned against the counter across from him. The rain still pattered against the glass storefront.

Jaskier glanced out the window then back at Eskel. He leaned in conspiratorially. “But if you insist,” he drew out the word ‘insist’. “I do know how you could thank me.”

Eskel blinked. With Jaskier standing so close that he could see the little brown flecks in his eyes, the question took on an intimate hue.

Eskel had sudden visions of different ways they could both thank each other. He scolded himself and dragged his mind out of the gutter. This was what happened to people who stopped dating, who went ages without sex, and who a had a beautiful man with messy hair talk to them about thanking people.

He cleared his throat again to make sure it didn’t squeak. “How?”

Jaskier tapped the counter softly with his fingers. “Would you read to me?”

“Read to you?” It was so sweet a request that Eskel wasn’t sure how to respond. Reading to someone was intimate in a comfortable way, though with Jaskier he worried it would feel like a different kind of intimacy. He was trying to control this crush. Not make it worse.

Jaskier looked at him with soft wistful eyes. “Yes. A book of my choosing. Think of it as my Christmas present.”

Eskel knew he should make some excuse. He had a family dinner in two hours. That was a real excuse, and it was sitting right there.

But when he opened his mouth only two words came out. “Right now?”

Jaskier shrugged. “If you have time.”

“I do have time,” Eskel stammered. He had two whole hours. “Where should we go?”

Jaskier’s eyes darted upwards. There was a flight of wooden stairs up to the reading room. The reading room was an exposed balcony with two overstuffed sofas and a recliner.

A flash of inspiration hit Eskel. It was accompanied by a shot of courage. “But for my present, you have to sing for me.”

Jaskier’s eyes sparkled. “A private storytime sing-along. I love it. It’s a deal.”

“But first, tea.”

They made tea in the kitchenette and carried it upstairs with a plate of brownies. Jaskier chose The Hobbit, and tucked it under his arm.

“I know it’s long, but you can just read the first chapter.” He mumbled something that sounded like this time.

They got all of it, plus Jaskier’s guitar, upstairs. Jaskier sat on the blue sofa. Eskel sat across from him on the green one. Jaskier opened his guitar case.

“And what is your request, good sir?” asked Jaskier as he picked it up, plucking at the strings and adjusting the little knobs on the side.

Eskel thought for a moment, warming his hands on his cup of tea.

When he didn’t answer, Jaskier gave him an assist. “Narrow it down by genre."

“Classic R&B,” said Eskel. “Soul. You pick.”

Jaskier’s face lit up. “I know just the song.” He plucked a few chords and Eskel instantly recognized it. His eyes widened in anticipation. Jaskier began to sing slowly, coaxing out each sound, dragging it across the pleading notes.

Try me

Try me

It was an old James Brown song. It was one of Eskel’s favorites. It was also full-to-bursting with yearning. Eskel didn’t know how he was going to survive this.

Darlin tell me

I need you

Jaskier stole a glance at Eskel from under his lashes, and Eskel had to put down tea. Hearing Jaskier sing like this was a revelation. When he sang for the kids, he had a cheery voice. Now it was soulful. Sultry. Raw. He was transformed.

Hold me

Hold me

I want you right here

By my side

It felt like a dream, having Jaskier’s voice all to himself. Having it sound like this, saturated with yearning, and only an arm’s reach away. Eskel had to consciously focus on his breathing. He didn’t notice he was clutching the cushions just a little too tightly.

Oh

I need you

He strummed the last cord, then put his hand on the strings to silence them. He looked up at Eskel. All of his frenetic charming energy had fallen away.

He looked vulnerable. Anxious even.

Eskel swallowed and hoped his voice wouldn’t break when he used it. “That was beautiful. I mean. I knew you could sing. But. Fuck.”

Jaskier’s face spread into a relieved smile. “You are always so sweet.”

Eskel slowly released the couch cushions from his iron grip.

“Now it’s your turn,” said Jaskier softly, as if he were trying not to break a spell.

Eskel looked down at the book as if waking up from a dream. He picked it up. “Chapter one?”

Jaskier nodded. “Chapter one.”

It was actually his personal copy of The Hobbit, and he opened it to the first page. He began. “‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.’”

As he read, out of his peripheral vision, he could see Jaskier set down his guitar. And then saw him get up.

Eskel’s heart thudded in his chest as Jaskier crossed the space between them. He felt the cushion next to him press down as Jaskier sat almost right up against him.

He knew that something had changed, that something electric was happening between them, but he didn’t know what, and he didn’t know where it would go. He was afraid that if he called attention to it, it would dissipate. So, Eskel kept reading, as his pulse quickened.

“‘Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.’”

He felt Jaskier lean towards him. Then Jaskier’s head was laying warm in his lap, gazing up at his face. Eskel had never had someone quite so beautiful admire him so lovingly.

He stuttered and paused.

“Is this ok?” whispered Jaskier.

In answer, Eskel reached for him. He stroked his hair, then combed it away from his face. Jaskier’s face slackened in bliss and he closed his eyes and smiled.

Then he nuzzled and nestled until he was comfortable.

“Go on,” he said, the contented smile still playing on his face. Eskel stopped gaping and kept reading. He read through the whole chapter, watching Jaskier’s chest rise and fall. Playing with his hair. Resting his hand carefully on his chest. Jaskier covered it with his own. It took every bit of composure he could summon to keep reading.

When he was done, he put the book down. It was silent as Jaskier opened his eyes and sat up.

He looked sleepy and relaxed. And Eskel knew just what to do. He touched Jaskier’s neck, sliding his fingers to cradle it. Jaskier sighed and leaned into his caress.

Eskel pulled him close and kissed him. They kissed tenderly, with heat, with long-suppressed desire, finally being freed. Eskel reached for his hips, hefting him up to straddle his lap.

He felt the weight of Jaskier on his hips and he could barely believe it was happening, that it was real.

Jaskier was solid and very real. His thighs pressed against Eskel’s side and he clung to him. He ran his hands greedily along his shoulders, across his chest, down his arms, anywhere his hands could reach, as though he had been waiting to do it for some time.

They kissed and grabbed and pulled at each other until Eskel could feel Jaskier hard and pressed against his stomach.

They finally pulled apart to take a breath.

Jaskier looked at him hungrily. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

Eskel smiled, panting. “I had no idea you felt that way,” he teased.

Jaskier scoffed. “I flirt with you fucking relentlessly, Eskel.” He kissed Eskel’s forehead and his eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

He hummed. “I just thought you were a charming flirt.”

“I am,” protested Jaskier, pausing to kiss his cheek, trailing another kiss down his neck. “I can be both.” Then he pulled back and grinned. “I have layers.”

Eskel’s phone buzzed and he groaned. “Fuck, I forgot.”

“What?”

“I have an early Christmas dinner with my brothers tonight. I’m late. I’m erect as fuck, and I’m late.”

Jaskier laughed. “Only one of those things is a problem.”

Eskel chewed his lip and remembered something. “My brother said I can bring someone. Do you want to come? I know that it’s pretty soon to—“

“I’m in,” Jaskier blurted.

“Really?”

Jaskier nodded enthusiastically. “I would absolutely love to meet your family.”

“Great!”

“Now, about that second problem...”

Jaskier hooked a finger around one of the loops of Eskel’s belt.

When he tugged it, Eskel was suddenly gripped with panic. It descended on him out of nowhere. He put his hand on Jaskier’s wrist gently but firmly and held it still.

Jaskier froze and sought out his eyes. “Is this...ok? Are you ok?”

Eskel avoided his eyes for a moment. All of his anxiety roared back with a vengeance. Everything he had been holding in his heart, all the fears that had kept him from reaching out, came back to him. He looked back at Jaskier. He didn’t know if it was the concern in Jaskier’s eyes, the pink on his face from rubbing against Eskel’s stubble, or the hideous orange sweater.

But somehow his vulnerability encouraged him to offer his own.

“Are you sure?” he asked. It was quite clear that Jaskier wanted him. He was straddling him. But he needed more reassurance. He just did. The rain pattered, and the distant sounds of a Christmas song filled his long pause. He swallowed and decided to just say it. “You sure you want this,” he pointed at his face,” sucking your cock?”

He had meant for it to sound funny. A joke. A way to make his vulnerability more palatable. To his horror, he sounded completely honest.

Jaskier’s eyes did something very complicated and he let his breath out like a tire. “Oh. Oh, darling.” He let his hands fall back into his lap. “You haven’t dated since your accident.”

Eskel felt a lump forming in his throat. He shook his head.

Jaskier inhaled slowly, then let out the breath. “Oh, Eskel.”

Eskel chewed on his own lower lip and tried to keep it together.

“Eskel,” said Jaskier, and he sounded unbearably sincere. “I can’t tell you how to feel about your own face. I know I can’t. However you feel, you are entitled to feel. I can’t change that. I wouldn’t try.” He paused for a moment, and continued at an even slower pace, thinking each word before he said it. “But if your question is how do I feel?” He reached for Eskel’s hands and squeezed them. “I’ve never been more attracted to anyone. I’ve never thought anyone more gorgeous.”

He waited for his words to land before he continued. “And if you want to try to separate out how you feel and how I feel, and give this a go, I would be honored. If that is something you want.”

Eskel did want. “Really?”

Jaskier nodded emphatically. “Eskel, with god as my witness, I want nothing more on earth, in this moment, than for you to bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.”

Eskel’s head dropped back on the sofa and he laughed. Jaskier joined him, chuckling. “I can only speak my truth. And if you want to meet me here, I’m waiting with open arms.”

“Alright,” said Eskel. He shifted a bit and rearranged Jaskier a little further back. “But just so you know—” it was time for a bit more honesty. The longer Eskel lived, the more he learned that it didn’t do any good to pretend you were something you were not. It didn’t serve you to pretend that you didn’t feel what you felt. “That isn’t all I want. With you. I want more.”

Jaskier, nodded decisively. “Me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You can have whatever you want, for as long as you want.”

“Ah. I just assumed...I assumed now that you’re famous, you’d move to the city.”

Jaskier silently chuckled.

“What?”

“I live in the city.”

Eskel tilted his head. “You told me you live closeby."

"I like to be mysterious."

"But that’s like an hour and a half away.”

Jaskier nodded again, as though urging him to follow his train of thought. “Yes. And why do you think I come out here? Do you think we don’t have children in the city?”

Eskel nodded slowly along with him. “You do.”

“We do. We just don’t have Eskels. I’m here for you. I always will be.”

“Ah. Good,” said Eskel, his heart full to cracking. “Good.” He hitched Jaskier close again and leaned in.

Jaskier touched his shoulders, holding him in place. He looked carefully into his eyes. “Yeah? You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

Eskel slid his fingers around Jaskier’s lower back, and pulled him forward. Jaskier leaned in and tipped Eskel’s chin up with his finger. He looked at him for a moment, in the dim room, with Christmas lights gleaming against his skin. And he kissed him.

They kissed softly at first, With each kiss, their touch grew more urgent. The heat burgeoned between them. It was precious, and Eskel was emotional. But it had also been a very long time since someone had kissed him that way. And no one he had wanted this much had ever kissed him this way. He had never wanted someone this much. This was special. Eskel felt a primal, predatory desire roar to life in him. He stood up carefully, Jaskier still wrapped around him. Then, he turned, and laid him down on his back.

Jaskier looked up at him like he was the firmament. Eskel willed himself to let his fear slip away. Just for now. Just for today.

They pulled off their clothes, and Eskel feasted his eyes. Jaskier was much more muscular than he seemed under all those sweaters. He was strong and gorgeous and his back arched hungrily. He begged Eskel to touch him. To be inside him.

Eskel knew that he wouldn’t last long once he did that. So he took his time, tending to Jaskier. He crawled up his body, thrilling in the warmth. In the touch. Jaskier writhed under his tongue. Under his kisses. Eskel took him entirely into his mouth and watched his eyes roll back in his head.

Jaskier incited him. He moaned obscenely. He made filthy requests and called Eskel tender names. He caressed him and whispered how much he needed him. He babbled about how gorgeous his body was. How thick it was. How strong. How soft. He dragged his fingers along his back.

He had lube with him because apparently this had been his hope all along. For Eskel to fuck him in the bookstore. In that moment, it seemed like the best reason of all to own a bookstore. Best decision he’d ever made, in retrospect.

By the time they came, shouting and moaning, they fell into each other’s arms, eyes wet, sated and satisfied. The entire length of their bodies was pressed together or tangled together.

Jaskier was still panting when he flopped onto his side to face Eskel. His full lips were bitten pink and sweat was beaded on his forehead. He slung his arm heavily over Eskel’s side. “How are you? Was that ok?”

Eskel ran a finger down Jaskier’s bare arm, tracing a line with his finger. “I’m good. Perfect. It was amazing.”

Jaskier broke into a smile. “Oh, good. Me too.”

“Good.”

“Good. Now come here.”

Jaskier nuzzled back into Eskel’s chest, as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Have I mentioned before that I love your chest?” Jaskier asked rhetorically. “I could just rest here forever on your spectacular fuzzy pecs.” Eskel chuckled, and Jaskier hummed. “Mmmmm, rumbly.”

They laid there, under the twinkling lights strung across the ceiling, quietly savoring the moment.

——

Later That Night

“What I can’t figure out,” said Lambert as he dug into the remnants of his pecan pie, “is how this happened,” he nodded at Eskel and then Jaskier, “between two people wearing such hideous sweaters.” His Santa hat fell over his eye and he flicked it backwards with a jerk of his head.

They all cackled, Geralt with his wine, and Coën with his beer. Eskel and Jaskier sat across from them at Geralt’s table. It was a long wooden table with extended eaves. They’d set up a card table next to it, and covered them both with red and green tablecloths. Mismatched candles ran down the length of both tables. Half of them were lit and half of them were burned down.

The tables were crammed into a small dining room decorated only by an antique hutch and some paintings of horses and barns. There was a record player on the hutch playing Nat King Cole.

The rest of the family was bustling in the kitchen, or setting up the next movie. The Nightmare Before Christmas was up next.

“Well,” said Jaskier theatrically, “Eskel was very insistent. Aggressive even. He seduced me with his lemon bars.”

Eskel gasped.

Coën cackled and slapped the table.

“You!” Eskel protested. “You sang to me! Seductively!”

Jaskier nodded, and waved in surrender. “Yes, yes, alright, I admit it. It was all me. Eskel is so sweet and trusting, that he still thinks I got into playing children’s music because I Iike kids.”

Eskel swiveled to face him. His hand rested on Jaskier’s thigh. “What? Why else would you get into children’s music?”

Jaskier took a dramatic sip of his wine and chuckled to himself before he answered. “I got into children’s music because you are very, very, hot.”

Eskel’s mind blanked out. “Wait. What? No. What? No.”

His brothers watched them, amused.

Jaskier squinted and looked into the distance as though he was recalling some fond memory. “It was a Saturday and I happened to be walking past his shop.” He told the story like it was a fairy tale of old. “I caught a glimpse of a man inside, all burly and broad, crammed onto a little stool, acting out Green Eggs and Ham for one single, tiny little boy. It was unbelievably endearing. And, as I said,” Jaskier glanced at him, “he is very hot.”

Eskel could feel his cheeks heating up.

“So, I went in to check him out.”

Eskel’s jaw dropped. “That’s why you came into my store?”

“Ah, now the truth comes out,” laughed Coën.

“But! But!” Eskel remembered that day. He remembered what Jaskier had told him. “You said you came in because you needed a present for your niece.”

Jaskier shrugged. “I lied. I have no niece.”

Eskel stared. “I sold you A Wrinkle in Time!” He sounded aggrieved.

Lambert threw back his head and laughed. Geralt chuckled into his beer.

“This relationship is built on a lie.” Jaskier shrugged. “But I did read it, I want to be clear. It didn’t go to waste. I loved that Meg learned that her anger was a strength and that she could use it for good.” he said haughtily.

Eskel lifted his eyebrows.

“Anyway, as you were ringing me up, I had to come up with an excuse to come back. So that’s when it occurred to me. A sing-along.”

“Really?”

“Really. I don’t just believe in the importance of local independent bookstores. I also believe in the importance of handsome booksellers.”

“So, this is all because I’m so extremely good looking.” Eskel clutched his chest in mock offense. “You just want me for my body.”

Jaskier looked at him severely, wine glass dangling from his fingers. “Did I not mention the lemon bars?”

Coën’s eyes lit up. “Did you bring any extra?”

Eskel bent down and brought the Tupperware out of his bag.

“Ahhhhh, there they are.” Coën snatched them out of his hands. “Come to me, my precious.”

“Also,” said Jaskier. He grew serious and looked at him, patting his hand under the table, “you are kind, and brilliant, and I loved that you never talk down to the kids.”

Eskel knew his ears must be burning red. But he loved it. And the fact that his brothers weren’t interrupting to tease him meant they had been more worried about him than he had known.

“Oh,” said Jaskier, “and you have the soul of a crusty old man, which, to be honest,” he looked at him assessingly, “pretty much does it for me.”

Geralt barked out a laugh and lifted his beer. “Well, that settles it. My brother is in good hands. Welcome to the family, Jaskier.”

“You’re going to fit right in,” said Lambert.

“Good,” said Jaskier, “because I’m here to stay.”

“Well, hell," said Eskel. "Merry Christmas to me." He settled his arm around Jaskier’s shoulder, and pulled him close.

[puppypeter]

✨ All fics are complete! ✨

He Loves Me Cause I’m Cute, He Thinks I’m Pretty Funny | 2588 words 📱

He watches it back one more time after it posts, checking for typos in his subtitles and captions, and has to laugh again.

Steve fucking Rogers? His brain thought he could pull Captain America, literal superhero and America’s favorite sweetheart?

“Hello I’m a 35 year old amputee living in New York and I think that I could get Steve Rogers.”

OR

the one where bucky posts a tiktok and steve is utterly smitten.

Summer Slipped Us Underneath Her Tongue | 10712 words 🧳

Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk.

Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown.

The rest is, as they say, history.

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet | 3853 words 🧑🏼‍🍳

“I made soda bread.” Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.” The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

Ollie Meets Bagel | 5517 words 🥯

He was a skater boy, Steve said let's get bagels, boy.

Steve wants to start doing this twenty-first century thing properly. He gets help in the form of skateboarding, skateboarders, bagels, and Sam Wilson.

Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

[corysmiles]

Cory: hey guys, I'm taking a little break from writing, :] hope you don't mind. Me, covering the tiny rabbit with dozens of blankets: Don't worry mate, I got this-

Elaborate way of me saying I wrote more experiment g/t AU.

This is actually the very beginning of it! :D I do plan on posting it to AO3 one day so I'm actually making a timeline out of this lmao, Enjoy! :D

-------------------

08/07/2000

Data has been transmitted to the lab. The next operation is up to us.

The creation of an artificial life form similar to humans has reached a new phase. The first attempts will be made tomorrow.

09/07/2000

First day. No success. The tests suggested by the research team have found themselves fruitless. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow.

18/07/2000

*sip* No results. We are trying our best to see where the failures went.

05/03/2001

No results.

08/07/2001

No results.

31/12/2001

Merry christmas. No results.

25/04/2002

No results. Either a change of plan is needed or we need to reconsider the project as a whole.

I hope someone just made a dumb fucking error.

...If that happened, I’m gonna murder them.

28/07/2002

No results. New doctors are supposed to join the project soon. We can only home more hands will help with the results.

26/08/2002

The more recent addition just got filled in. Most of them seem very excited about this new project. The legal contract has been signed and their silence promised. We can only hope that’ll go well.

No progress.

28/09/2002

No progress.

30/10/2002

Happy Halloween. No progress.

16/11/2002

The new head of operation has given a meeting to discuss the next step in the process of development: a phase of observation and analysis of the behavior of the living specimen. Given the little progress we’ve made, the meeting was pretty useless. Still, we are all determined as ever to achieve this.

No progress, new methods are being discussed.

29/12/2002

Well, the sentence is in. Next year, I’ll be out. I’m quite happy with the work I’ve done here, but seeing how, with how things are going, I won’t be able to see the result of all these years of hard work…. It’s disappointing. Hopefully the doctor Soot will make more progress than me. He’s still young, with a fiery passion. Surely his observations will be more interesting than mine, heh.

.

.

The kid’s nice. Shame I couldn’t work with him longer.

13/04/2003

Alright, test: 1,2 1,2, let’s hope I didn’t delete anything heh.

Uh, I think I should present myself: I am Wilbur Soot, Doctor and scientist working on the project of creation of the first human-like artificial life for about 8 months now. I’m gonna be honest, when people told me medical school was a trip and a half, I didn’t expect this. *laugh* The project is more than exciting. I’m gonna be honest, when I got accepted, I didn’t expect this to be the result. *laugh* Not that I mind.

But yeah, I’m excited to see where things go. We haven’t made a successful attempt yet, but If we do, I’ll keep everything in the recorder

like they told me to.

So… Yeah! That’s all.

15/04/2003

Alright, 1,2. 1,2.

No progress has really been made, so...

We are going through the research transmitted to us to see if any error was made. We will contact the team soon.

27/04/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Those idiots forgot the bloody parenthesis!!! Of course the whole thing is fucked!!

I haven’t slept in two weeks. I wish for someone to either end my existence or bring me more caffeine.

But fuck man, We did it…. ‘bout fucking time.

06/05/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Well, who could have guessed than something as simple as parenthesis would fuck the whole thing this much???

We are rewriting everything. It’s gonna take months.

07/09/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Greetings, little piece of garbage metal! I am once again talking to you!

We finally finished rewriting the whole script and data. We’ll take a week off and then discuss the new approach to take regarding the tests. Old reports will be more than useful to create a new base.

A week long sleep doesn't sound half bad.

16/11/2003

*guitar playing*

That’s impressive. What are the chords again?

C F G, ge7. It feels criminally easy for the song.

Well the easier, the better for you to learn, huh?

Yeah.

It’s nice they let you bring your guitar to work.

Well, they’re so desperate at this point they’ll try anything if it means more progress.

I mean, what did they expect: to create someone with the snap of a finger? Like it normally takes months already so I don’t see how a few years of research could change that.

Well, I hear you, but we can’t really complain, now, can we?

Eeehh, I mean if we’re thrown into this movie-type mad scientist drama, might as well be free to complain.

*laugh* Guess I can’t argue with that.

Hey, can you try your guitar again? I wanna see if I remember the lyrics.

Oh? Wanna duet?

Pff, whatever.

aaww, techno

I SAID WHATEVER.

*laugh* *footsteps* … Huh? When did I press record?

...Uh. Oh well, I’ll delete it later if I think about it.

01/01/2004

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Yeaahh!! And onto a new one of mindless, fruitless work!

Come on *laugh* at least we’re together, there’s some fun in that.

Yeah, the work is nice.

02/03/2004

Well, some progress HAVE been made! Still no clear success, no artificial humans or whatever, but the results are less and less repetitive! We got something solid! Not living, but solid! For the first time since I’ve been here, it feels like we’re going somewhere!! That should be very interesting.

09/04/2004

Test, 1,2. 1,2.

UUUHHH WHAT THE HECK???

WHAT THE FUCK????

NO BUT SERIOUSLY!!! DID YOU SEE THIS THING??? IT’S A FUCKING FLESH PATATE!!

*laugh* It’s an embryo, you dumbass!

STILL!!! DID YOU SEE IT??? WHAT THE HECK??? HEH??

Why are you surprised, that’s what we signed for! *estatic laughter*

Yeah, but I didn’t expect it to actually work!!! WE CREATED AN ACTUAL BABY!! A ROBOT BABY!!

*laugh* I feel like we almost all passed out at that. We’re fathers, techno! We’re fathers! *laugh*

Oh heck no, I’m getting outta here.

*laugh*

*footsteps* *creacking*

Ooohh this is wonderful. This is amazing. We actually did it. We created life, techno, we created life.

.

We created the first artificial human on earth.

… What should we name it?

04/06/2004

Hello little guy! How are you doing?

*high pitched giggles.*

Oh yes it's me! It's lil wilbur!

*laughter*

Urg, you sound like Phil.

Come on, Techno, look at it!! Isn't it just adorable?

A flesh patate is not what I would call adorable, no.

Hey, does your patate have hair? I didn't think so.

Alright then it looks like a little tomato with his pinkish cheeks.

Hey! Take that back! My son is not a tomato.

It is! Tomato boy is its name now, I decided.

Guys, calm down.

.

Hi Jordan.

Hello mister sparkle.

Good evening gentlemen. How are the tests going?

Pretty decent.

Well, it can make sounds.

It can move its arms around and slap me in the face

That's what you get for calling it a tomato.

But yeah, it can move and blabber so I would call that a start.

Wonderful. Starting next month, we are gonna try some physical experiments. I expect you both to be professional.

… Sorry sir.

It's alright. As long as it doesn't impact the end result, I don't really mind you acting like an idiot

WHAT??

*laughters* CAUGHT IN 4K BOYS! *laughter*

Mister sparkle, I find that calling really inappropriate. I am not a buffoon, I am simply … mimicking! Just like when you're with a cat!

Mh mh, tell me about it.

You're just digging your own grave there, Wil.

*sigh*

I'll see you around, boys.

See you later, sir.

Good bye.

*Creaking.*

.

.

Who's a good little boy?? Who's a good little experiment??

*giggles*

Yes you are! Yes you are!

Oh my god this is gonna be long.

15/09/2004

Hello little T-0. How are you doing today?

*blabbles*

Good, good! And what about-

.

Uh, is it me or you've grown a bit?

*noise*

*footsteps* yeah, look at you! You're becoming a big man! You're eating all your vegetables, huh?

*giggles*

Alright, T-0. I got you a little ball, be careful with it, ok?

*high pitch laughter.*

*Thud.*

… I did not say throw it at me but at least that's something to put in the reports.

*scrible.*

*noise*

Don't worry, T-0. It's just adult stuff.

Here's the ball again, play with it as you want.

*Thud.*

…

Do you want to learn catch, T-0?

*babbles.

Wonderful.

17/01/2005

Hullooo

*noise*

I know, you're so happy I'm here. The feeling's not mutual, little tomato

*laugh* not again, come on!

Nah, I don't care about that "T-0" crap I'm calling it tomato.

*giggles*

Tomato, tomato thing, tomato boy. See, it likes it. To- hey is it me or that thing's a bit big for a baby? It's almost the size of my leg.

Yeah, I thought that as well, but maybe it's just a tall boi?

I don't know, it's quite tall, even for a tall baby. Oh well, what's a big tomato gonna do to ruin our research after all.

*laugh*

Anyway, come here, tomato boy. We're taking you to the examination room.

*giggles.*

Yeah, yeah, here. *shifts.* Imagine not being able to walk yet. Couldn't be me.

*laugh* let's go, you and 'tomato boy'.

To!

.

what?

.

To!

.

.

.

What the fuck?

Heh?

To! Tomt!

.

.

.

.

.

*footsteps* WE GOTTA SHOW JORDAN THIS!!!!!

To!

KEEP GOING YES! KEEP TALKING TO- WAIT IS IT SAYING TOMATO???

OH MY GOD TECHNO!!!

Tom!! Tot!!

WHAT THE FUCK???

24/07/2005

Wiba!

Hello, T-0M. How are you?

*giggle* Wilba! 'Ere!

Yeah, I'm here. Let's get you to the lab. You take my hand?

Mh!

Heh, there we go.

*footsteps*

.

You're really growing tall, aren't you?

Tal?

Maybe we should take a blood test to see if anything's wrong.

Wilba.

T-0M.

Wilba!

T-0M!

Wilba!! *giggle*

05/03/2007

Uuhhhh ok, this is concerning.

I told you! You see the problem, right jordan??

Uh, yeah, the thing is like 4'6. And he's 3.

That's- that is not how tall a 3 year old should be.

Yeah, something's wrong.

Maybe the growth will stop sooner than a normal child??

… we can only hope because if not, I can only worry about what the hell is ahead of us.

21/08/2009

12 FEET!!! 12 FEET WILBUR!!

Hey, don't look at me!! I'm not the one who did this! We must have miscalculated the dosage?

Oh, yeah, because a slight overdose of glucose can cause a child to turn GIANT!

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW EITHER, MAN! If this continues like this… it might be… uh.. difficult.

Hello Wilbur!

OH- Hello, T-0M! How are you?

04/11/2012

We are gonna have a big fucking problem. Report:over.

*Click.*

MEL MY BELOVED OMFG!!!

I live for this worldbuilding it’s delicious and I love the one part with techno and Wilbur :”] I adore this AU and this is just so well done *chefs kiss*

[jeonggukkiepabo]

CRYSTAL SNOW ❄ MYG

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been a stressful time for Yoongi: buying presents, decorating the tree, baking cookies, you name it-Yoongi does it. It wouldn't be so difficult if Yoongi had someone to help him, but all he has left in his life is his beautiful daughter Ara.But maybe this year, he won't be all alone.

GENRE: christmas fluff  ❄ a bit of smut

WORD COUNT: 7,3k

WARNINGS: f l u f f, single parent yoongi, kindergarten teacher y/n, oral, satoori, domestic christmas vibes :(, mentions of death

AUTHOR’S NOTE: the secret collab is finally here! thanks @kimtaehyunq​ for letting me join💞 i’m so excited to read the other fics as well! & thank you Mags for doing this amazing banner I think this is the prettiest banner I've ever had. 🤧 Tysm love💞

MERRY CHRISTMAS

People usually say she looks a lot like her father, but all Yoongi sees in Ara is his wife. Wherever his daughter goes, his wife's ghost follows, the memory of his teenage love and the wonderful years they spent together until she left their lives.

Min Dasom died almost one year after Ara was born, her death coming too sudden for anyone to bid their last goodbyes-leaving her husband and baby heartbroken and alone.

It was awful, Yoongi won't be able to forget that one night the police called him, telling him that his precious wife drowned in the ocean during her monthly trip to the beach with her friends. 

Ever since that call, Yoongi has never stepped near a beach again, never felt hot sand between his toes again, never went swimming again.

It was hard, being a single parent and Yoongi was tempted to give up many times, but seeing Ara grow and bloom into the beautiful girl she is now, Yoongi is beyond thankful that he survived the pain and sorrow.  

He never drowned his thoughts in alcohol because his sunshine always looked at him with her sad little eyes, almost as if she knew what he wanted to do and hugged his legs tightly until Yoongi set the bottle away and picked Ara up and spent the night cuddling her.

Things got easier as soon as Ara was old enough to finally go to kindergarten, allowing Yoongi to work more hours and on a daily basis again. It's not like he needed a lot of money, it's just that Yoongi needs to work. 

He's used to working all the time, he's always been-because working doesn't give him time to think about the tragedy that is his life.

Money wasn't an issue for the Min family, Yoongi used to be one of the most successful pianists and producers in South Korea, but he gave up on that as soon as Ara was born, just to have time for his family.

His friend Hyunjin offered him a job as a songwriter and composer at his own label JinHit Entertainment. 

Yoongi could work from home whenever he wanted and needed to, but the studio Hyunjin set him up was way better and filled with new technology that Yoongi loved playing and experimenting with.

The acclimatization to her new daily routine wasn't easy for Ara because she wasn't used to having women in her life-until now, it has always been Yoongi and Ara. They ended up switching kindergarten two times before Ara came into the one that you've been working at for a while now-instantly falling in love with you.

The first few days with your new reference child we're quite… interesting because the little girl was full of action and so curious about every little thing in the room that you couldn't sit still and talk to her father for a while because Ara grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the next game she wanted to play.

Her father, Min Yoongi, sent you an apologetic smile as he watched you play with his daughter from a distance, giving you time to get used to each other and build a bond. You winked at him as you took a seat next to Ara and started to explain the rules of the board game to her-impressed about how well she was understanding them.

It didn't take Ara a long time to send Yoongi home, waving him goodbye and pressing a loud kiss onto his lips. "Go and work, Appa! Uncle Hyunjinnie waits for you to make good music!"

Yoongi looked at her with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're telling me to leave? Just to go and work? That is rude, princess."

You giggled and hugged Ara as she ran over to you, Yoongi long forgotten.

"Would you like to bring your dad to the door, Ara? I think he might be sad if you won't. Remember: he won’t see you for a few hours and you don’t want your dad to be sad during lunch, right?"

Ara giggled but nodded nonetheless and grabbed Yoongi by the hand. "Hurry!"

Yoongi looked at you in shock, desperately trying to hold in his laugh. "I think you gave me Ara's evil twin instead of my sweet little princess! Where is my nice girl that always kisses Appa goodbye?"

You shrugged your shoulders playfully as one of the other kids asked for you to help him with building a big tower out of building blocks. "Have a nice day, Mr Min. Oh and make sure you won't forget about our appointment on Thursday! I don't think it'll take longer than an hour, it's just to talk about Ara's development so far."

Yoongi was one of the few parents that were always punctual, not even a minute too late-and the only parent you've never felt any kind of rage towards. Not only that, but he attended every kindergarten fest, always prepared little cupcakes for Ara's birthday to bring with her to kindergarten and share with her friends.

May was rolling around quickly and you were as eager as always to craft some little gifts for the children to give their mothers. 

You prepared some candle wax and melted it so the kids could fill it in plastic forms and add glitter and scent to their preference, just to have a nice little gift to give. 

Most of the kids had fun, some of them were a bit grumpy because they got glitter all over themselves, but there is one little girl pouting and trying not to cry in front of them, not even touching the wax.

Ara.

It breaks your heart every time, knowing that Ara's mother died years ago and that she probably had no other woman in her life because you’ve already heard that her father works quite a lot. 

Squatting down next to the little girl, you gently pinch her stomach just to hear her little giggles. 

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you want to make a nice candle?"

Ara looks up at you, one single tear slipping out of her eye. "I don't have a mom, so no candle for me."

You coo, playing with Ara's hair as you stand up again, leading her towards the crafting table.

"That doesn't matter, Ara. I think your dad will be happy to get a candle too! We can pick a different color than pink, what do you think does he like the most? I’m sure we will find something!"

Ara taps her chin, smiling slightly as she thinks about Yoongi's favorite color. "Black! He wears black clothes! Always! Do we have black glitter, Y/N?" 

She scrunches her nose at the first few oils, but one scent really lights up her face. "This smells like Appa! Can we use this?" 

"We do, I didn't put it on the table because usually nobody wants it so it sits on the shelf, all by itself. I think the glitter finally deserves to be used!" You smile at the kid, grabbing the small container of glitter from the shelf and handing it over to Ara.

"We do have a few scents, would you like to smell them? Choose whichever you think smells the best and we can put a few drops in the wax,' you offer the bowl of different oils to Ara and help her open the lids.

Ara holds up the little bottle of rose oil and you smile to yourself. Black roses, that really seems to fit the impression you have of Mr. Min.

"Of course. Now, let's mix the glitter with the wax and we can put it into the mold. Alright, now stir it while i put in a few drops of the rose oil, okay?"

You guide her through the process, talking to her and listening to her rambling about the piano lessons Mr. Min gives her on a regular basis, just because Ara wants to be like her favorite man in the world.

"He is a great dad, Ara. You're so lucky to have him, I know that he must be sad sometimes too, but you're such a sunshine and help him as much as he helps you," you hug her from the side, enjoying the way Ara leans into the hug as well.

"I want a mom, but Appa is almost like a mom! He lets me paint his nails, goes to ballet with me and always bakes princess cookies for our tea parties!"

Ara giggles as she dips the wick into the liquid wax.

"Appa needs a woman to love, the only dates he goes to are work-dates with uncle Hyunjin," she says.

And yes, you think so as well.

One day around September, you decide that it’s definitely hot enough to prepare the blow-up outside pool for the kids, allowing them to change into their swimsuits and let them play around, even adding some bubbles to the water to let them experiment.

Mr. Min smiles at you, his gums fully showing and you can’t help but smile as well as you hear his words.

“And I think there’s no job that you could do better than this one.”

You’re sitting next to the pool on a bench in the shadow, reading some books to those few kids that don’t want to hop into the water as Ara jumps out of the pool.

“Y/N, come inside as well, it’s so nice!” She jumps up and down, her wet ponytail dripping onto her shoulders.

You pout, pointing to the kids next to you. “I can’t, you know that some of the kids are still afraid to go into the water with so many other children around. Maybe next time. Now, go and enjoy it, it’s super hot and I don’t know when autumn will come around and surprise us with bad weather!”

Ara nods quickly, hopping back into the water and continues splashing some water around with her friends, but she glances at you every few seconds. Then, she whispers with her two best friends before all three of them nod as they look at you.

Suddenly, they run towards you, surprising you with wet hugs and loud giggles, leaving your white summer dress almost see through.

Suddenly, there’s someone clearing his throat right behind you and you wish you could sink deep down into the pool once you see that it’s Mr. Min. 

“Girls!,” you can’t help but yelp, the cold water causing you to jump up from the bench. Yet, you laugh with them, the cooling really helping you with the heat.

“You can’t just do that, Ara. Look at my dress now, you can almost see through it, you’re lucky that the parents won’t come in within the next two hours, otherwise they would see me like this,” you try to look stern, but to be honest: you would have done the same if you were Ara.

“Ara, why did you do that?,” he asks with his calm voice and tries his best not to look at your hardening nipples under the dress. 

Ara’s bottom lip trembles as she looks at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just thought it would be funny…”

Mr. Min turns to you and bows slightly. “I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have done that. And well, I came to pick her up earlier because we will visit her grandparents over the weekend. I should’ve informed you earlier. Is there any way I can help you with your… erm, dress?”

Mr. Min nods at you, picking up his-still wet-daughter as he looks you up and down slow enough to leave goosebumps all over your skin once again. 

You blush, shaking your head as you grab Ara’s clothes and hand her to her father.

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, it’s not your fault-and a water fight is too much fun to just not do it, right, Ara? It’s sunny enough so I’ll just bring the bench into the sun and I’ll be dry soon enough! I hope you’re having fun with your grandparents, Ara! Have a nice weekend, Mr. Min.”

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, really. You don’t know how many children happen to call one of us mom without realizing it. It’s nothing too wild, I’ve gotten used to it and I think especially in Ara’s case… It was supposed to happen, you know? I mean, I don’t want to intrude on your private life, but I suppose you’re not seeing another person and Ara isn’t growing up with other females, so she takes those she sees here as a female person to bond with, you know?”

“Thank you, mommy! Oh… I mean Y/N..,” Ara quirps as he turns around in her father’s arms, even though it doesn’t look like she’s really sorry at all.

“Ara!” Mr. Min gasps as he looks at his daughter. 

Yoongi shakes his head. “I haven’t seen another woman ever since my wife died. Ara is the only woman in my life, the only one I give all my love to. She deserves it,” he sighs. “But you’re right, I think another female person would really help her with growing up. I just don’t want to introduce her to some random woman I might not even want to spend the rest of my life with. Is this egoistic?”

His honest words hit you, knowing how lonely he must be, all alone with his little girl and a bunch of work he has to do. “It’s not, Mr. Min. You don’t have to date just because you think it would be the best for Ara. There are many single fathers that raise their kids perfectly fine and I think you’re one of them! Ara never tells bad stories about you and I think you’re doing a really good job, spending all of your free time with her and allowing her to experience so many fun things. I’ve met so many ‘happy’ families that didn’t even manage to pack breakfast for their kids, so really, don’t break your head over something like this! I’m happy that Ara accepted me so much and that she always comes to me whenever she has a problem. This is why I chose my job.”

Over the next few months, Mr. Min is all that’s on your mind, even though you know how unprofessional it is, but he’s even kinder to you than he’s been before. You usually have a small chat with every parent whenever they bring or pick up their children, but Mr. Min makes sure to always catch you and ask you about your day, if there’s anything new in your life and you can’t help but ask him about his work and the songs he’s been working on as well.

“Ah, it’s really stressful right now. I’m working with this band that’s debuting soon and we have to prepare and finish the entire album I wrote about five songs for. They’re really good but still so young, I think the oldest is 16? Or was it 17? Whatever, that’s like ten years younger than me! I think I’ll grow grey hair soon when I keep on working with such young idols,” he sighs playfully as he helps Ara to put on her shoes and jacket. 

“I mean, you’re not that old, Mr. Min. Don’t worry-as long as you keep that handful smile you will look like you’re straight out of some perfume poster. But I’d love to listen to one of your songs! I mean, if you’d let me,” you smile with honesty as you hand Ara her backpack. 

Mr. Min shrugs, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he opens his Spotify account. He types something in and turns the screen towards you. AGUST D, it says. You scrunch your eyes at the name, trying to remember where you’ve known it from, but it doesn’t ring a bell right now. 

“I’ll make sure to listen to some of your songs, I hope they aren’t too sad though, I prefer my music to be more… pop and rock?”

You cringe at your own words, hoping that the man knows what you were trying to say. 

And fuck, you did like it. Turns out that AGUST D wasn’t some softie that plays guitar lullabies, no. 

Yoongi cracks a grin, then winks at you playfull before he takes Ara’s hand after she said goodbye to you.

“I think you’re going to like it.”

AGUST D seems to be one of the best rappers in the music industry that you’ve ever been listening to. He sounds so aggressive and fast that you needed to listen twice to some of his songs to understand what he was saying, but you ended up adding much more songs into your playlist than you’d like to tell him.

But you did tell him.

“Oh, I’m not doing that crazy rap thing anymore. It was a phase, I guess. By now, I use the name to help smaller musicians and trainees, produce their songs and write their lyrics. It’s better to do so with a bigger name, but AGUST D died a long time ago, I guess I killed him.” Mr. Min says the next day.

"I mean, as long as you keep all of them on Spotify, I'm alright with that. Most of those songs match my aggressive driving vibe and I can't imagine driving to work without it." You try to joke before you realize what it must've sounded like. "Oh lord, I didn't mean it like that!" 

You blush, trying to hide your reddened cheeks in your palms, but Mr. Min just laughs it off.

"Don't worry, I get what you mean. I usually play Love Talk as soon as i leave this building."

He even has the audacity to wink at you before he leaves with a grin, causing Ara to coo.

"Appa really likes you if he teases you!"

And the teasing goes on and on, there’s almost no day without a snarky comment from Mr. Min or a sarcastic comment from you-but neither of you takes those words to heart because that’s what you need in your lives, someone to laugh with, someone to make jokes with.

Even though there are plenty of other children in your group and so many parents you talk to daily, the only one you’re happy to see in the afternoon is Mr. Min.

The summer is long gone and fall said goodbye a few weeks ago, December came around and your little crush on Mr. Min isn’t as little anymore-and you can’t help yourself but wonder if he might be into you as well. You’ve shared a few noons talking about Ara’s development and if she’s ready for school next September, but most of the times you didn’t talk about the girl for more than thirty minutes before one of you switched the topic to something more private as the man leans closer to you and locks his gaze with yours.

You’re not as nervous around him as you were before and you can feel him starting to open up towards you as well. Yet, you’ve never met outside of the kindergarten, knowing it would be way too unprofessional and you’d never want to ruin the wonderful bond you share with Ara just because you’re desperate to jump into her father’s lap and call him Daddy too.

You’re not one of those women to go into a club and have a dirty one night stand with a random stranger, but you’ve been too busy to actually go and meet people, so you’ve kind of gotten used to being alone, even though you’re really missing late night cuddles and Disney marathons.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you’ve been strolling through the mall for a while now, looking for some christmas presents for your friends and family-but also wanting to treat yourself because work has been more than just exhausting lately.

You’ve been handling the entire group alone, having a lot more smaller children because new kids have been coming to kindergarten and having to deal with so many parents alone can be pure hell. Sadly enough you’re living all by yourself, only having a few close friends that don’t understand why you’re even doing this underpaid job and your last relationship crashed almost two years ago.

The mall looks amazing, beautiful christmas ornaments are hanging from the ceiling and there must be someone playing the piano somewhere because the soft melodic tunes fill the entire mall, reminding you of Mr. Min once again.

You just stepped out of a lingerie store, something you’re really passionate about even though nobody but yourself sees you in it, but you love the feeling of lace on your skin, love how beautifully the soft colors compliment your skin and love imagining Mr. Min ripping the soft material off you.

The small paper bag in your hand, you look around for another shop that might hold the next christmas present for one of your friends. 

“Appa, please! I already have a picture but we need you to have one too!”

You know that voice too well to ignore it, searching the area for the small owner of it, giggling as you found her. Ara and Mr. Min are in the Santa area of the mall that gives you the ability to sit on Santa’s lap and take a picture with him as you tell him your biggest christmas wishes.

But the little girl is not sitting on Santa’s lap, she’s trying to push her father towards the man with the fake beard, clearly wanting him to sit down on that lap.

You giggle, walking towards them just to find out what’s going to happen.

“Ara, I’m too old and heavy for poor Santa, I think he prefers girls your age-wait, no not like that. I think he likes boys and girls-ugh. You’re driving me crazy, princess. Look, there’s a few other kids wanting to have their time with Santa as well, why don’t we just leave and try to find some more presents from the giftshop here, hm?” The man tries to talk his daughter into leaving the uncomfortable situation, but Ara is as stubborn as ever-she always gets what she wants, especially from her father.

“But… I want you to have pictures with Santa too!” She pouts, looking over at the confused Santa before she hears your giggle. “Y/N!”

Mr. Min turns around, a shocked expression on his face and a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

“Oh, Ms. Y/L/N. What a surprise.”

You giggle even more, stepping closer towards them. “Hello Ara, good afternoon Mr. Min,” you bow slightly before accepting the little girl’s hug. 

“I see, you really want to sit on Santa’s lap, but Ara doesn’t want to let you because she’d be embarrassed.” 

Yoongi hums in agreement. “Horrible, those children. I mean, I just want a nice christmas picture with Santa, but you know how they are… right before puberty hits them.”

“Y/N, Appa doesn’t want to take a picture with Santa, would you sit on his lap and take a picture for me?” Ara looks up at you with her big eyes and like always, you can’t say no. Instead, you hand Mr. Min your bags-not thinking about the fact that one of them is from the lingerie store-before taking Ara’s hand and walking over to the smiling Santa.

The picture is quickly taken and not even five minutes later, Mr. Min hands you your bags, whispering, so Ara wouldn’t hear you. “I think the peach one will suit you the best.”

Ara nods and rips the bags out of Mr. Min’s hands to show you her cute dresses and bows while the man just stares at you with an open mouth. Did you really just say that to him? 

You gasp, hiding the bags behind your back but who are you to deny the fact that this man is the exact reason you stepped into the store?

“Thank you, I hope someone will get to see them before Christmas. It would be a shame to waste those pretty pieces for some lame mirror selfies,” you smile innocently before squatting down next to Ara. “Did you buy something nice yet?”

“Appa, we wanted to get hot chocolate, can Y/N come too please?”

Yoongi is speechless once more as he quietly follows his daughter and her kindergarten teacher towards the mall’s cafe-realizing that he shouldn’t have chosen his tightest pair of skinny jeans because somehow, they got quite uncomfortable as soon as you arrived.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at his daughter before he picks up all the dresses that Ara tried to shove back into the bags. “If she wants, she’s welcome to join, but I think you should ask her first, maybe she is busy.”

You blush at the invitation, not sure whether to accept it or not-but you’re not one to decline on hot chocolate. Smiling at Ara, you nod. “Show me where to get the best hot chocolate, I’m craving something sweet and thick down my throat.”

He watches you as Ara grabs your hand and swings them around with a soft giggle, heart warming as he sees your fond smile.

Ara talks about you a lot-hell, Yoongi asks about you a lot whenever Ara doesn't want to talk about you but watch her favorite show.

It's unprofessional and probably not allowed, Yoongi knows, but Ara leaves for school in March anyways, so who cares? 

It's obvious to the both of you that you're interested in each other, the flirting and teasing coming to a point where Yoongi can't wait for another snarky remark of yours.

And now that he has the chance to sit and talk with you outside of your workplace, you just chose to buy a bag full of fucking beautiful lingerie (yes, Yoongi looked inside, no, he doesn't regret it).

Ara leads you into this beautiful cat cafe that apparently has "The best hot chocolate and bubble tea, but it's too cold for bubble tea… Can they make hot bubble tea?" as Ara says, earning a harsh "no" from Yoongi, because that's something he wishes for as well.

"Go find a place with Mr. Y/L/N, Ara. I'll get your order, yeah? What can I order for you?" Yoongi looks at you as he pulls out his wallet, giving you some time to read the menu.

"Oh, the candy cane hot chocolate, please! And please, as long as we are not talking inside the kindergarten, call me Y/N. I mean, you've seen my underwear, I think you deserve to call me by my name."

Yoongi blushes, nodding and rushes towards the cashier to order your drinks. You smile at the man, then at the cats-they look somewhat similar-before you sit down next to Ara who is currently petting four cats on her lap.

"They're adorable," you coo, "Do you have any pets?"

Ara nods with a big smile and hands you one of the cats, a pretty one with orange fur and big eyes. 

"I have a turtle! Gukkie gave it to me and Appa didn't like it first, but I love her!"

You enjoy the cat's purring as you gently stroke her chin. "A turtle sounds lovely, I hope you can show it to me one day."

"Oh, that won't be a problem, I can invite you for dinner and Appa will get shy and red in the face, but he wouldn't say no because he's super soft for-" "ALPACAS! I'm soft for alpacas, haha, here we go, three hot chocolates."

Yoongi appears with a pained expression as he places your hot chocolate right in front of you.

"Thanks, Yoongi," you smile at the man and Yoongi swears that his heart stopped beating for a second. "I'm soft for Alpacas as well."

Right after you all finished your drinks, Ara decides that it’s time to walk through the mall once more, just to make sure that Santa is still there and will take another picture with hot chocolate-filled Ara. 

“Did you enjoy your date with Y/N, Appa?” She looks up at her father as you walk towards the mall. Yoongi trembles, blushing brightly. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a date, Ara. Don’t assume things like this, it’s rude,” he mumbles as he gently pets her head to make sure she isn’t hurt by his comment.

You giggle, whispering loud enough for Yoongi to hear. “I really liked it, Ara. Your Appa can be funny if he wants to.”

The picture with Santa comes out pretty, even though the man groaned as two grown adults decided to sit on each of his legs, the bright smiling Ara kneeling in front of them. But it’s really worth it, because Yoongi’s smile never leaves his lips this evening, gums showing beautifully on the picture and you quickly make sure to get a copy of that picture as well.

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “So was this a… you know?” It’s endearing, how shy he suddenly seems to be. You’ve never seen him like this. Stressed, overworked and happy - yes. Shy and blushing? Never.

You nod with a soft smile as you lay your hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, I’d like that to be a ‘you know what’, Yoongi.”

You can't even tell when the two of you officially started dating, but you'll never forget the first kiss you've shared during one of your walks-thanks to Ara for snapping a picture of it. Yoongi's hands wrapped around your waist, eyes clenched shut and lips curled in a soft smile as fresh snow fell down on you.

Seeing Yoongi at work wasn’t as weird as you had expected it to be, it’s quite the opposite. He’s attentive and lovely, bringing you fresh croissants or donuts every morning or puting little chocolate for you and Ara in his daughter’s lunchbox.

He’s caring, picking you up after your shift to invite you to dinners and walks through the forest with Ara, because that little girl just loves walking in the fresh snow that has started to fall recently. She takes pictures of your footprints with Yoongi’s phone and makes him promise to print it for her to hang up.

“Of course I can, Ara. You’re already wearing your sleeping clothes and you’ve brushed your teeth with Appa, so hurry up and pick out the book you want me to read!” 

Ara grows closer and closer to you, until that one day where you stay over the Min’s house for dinner, she asks you to bring her to bed.

“Can she, Appa? I want her to read my favorite bedtime story to me! Please, Y/N,” Ara looks up at you with a pout, her beautiful eyes-that remind you of Yoongi-sparkling with admiration. 

That girl really makes your heart melt, combined with the soft smile that Yoongi gives you. And suddenly, you feel like you’re meant to be here, helping that man that you’ve grown so close to, helping the girl that lost her mother way too early and maybe even helping yourself with accepting that love really comes unexpectedly.

You gently tuck the soft blanket over Ara and place her favorite stuffie next to her as you smile at the girl fondly. "Sleep well, Ara," you whisper quietly, trying not to wake her up.

"Kissies, please," she mumbles sleepily and makes grabby hands towards you.

"Ara, I-" "Please," she whines and opens her eyes, tears starting to build up.

"Okay, it's okay, Ara." You swipe her hair out of her face before you plant a soft little kiss onto the girl's forehead. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night, Y/N. Will you be there tomorrow morning?"

Your smile fades, unsure if you really want to tell the little girl the truth. 

"Probably not, I have to get ready for work. You know that I love to wear dresses on Thursdays and I didn't bring mine. But we will see each other in the kindergarten!"

"Okay," she whispers before she falls back into a quiet slumber.

Yoongi has cleaned the kitchen in the meantime and poured more wine for the both of you to enjoy in front of the fireplace.

"She really adores you," he says as you sit down next to him, sipping the rosé Yoongi bought just for you.

"And I adore her. She's an angel. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with her, Yoon."

Yoongi blushes again, shaking his head. The greyish blonde hair got messier as the evening passed. "No, Y/N. You're the first mother-figure Ara has, I have to thank you in both mine and Ara's name. I know that dating a single father is a lot, but you're accepting my family so well… I never thought I'd find another woman in my life again. Ever since my wife died, it was hard for me to even look at other women, let alone build up something like a relationship with them because I always felt bad. But that's what she would have wanted for me. To love again, to not waste my last handsome days," his lips curl into a smirk before he shakes again. 

Then, his sharp eyes met yours and soften within seconds. 

"I… I don't know if it's the right time, we've known each other for two years, we've been officially dating for only three weeks, but I think I won't change my mind about it-no I know that I won't change my mind. I love you, Y/N. And I know that Ara loves you too."

You gasp, lips beginning to tremble once your eyes meet Yoongi's. "Yoongi…," you whisper before you place your glass on the table and basically jump onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

"I wanted to be the one to tell you first. I love you so much, Yoongi. I've had this stupid crush on you ever since you saw me in that wet dress, ever since you've shown me your music. Ever since I've seen you being the wonderful father you are-and that's so sexy, you can't even imagine."

Yoongi smirks as his hands find their place on the curve of your ass. "Sexy, huh? Me, doing the laundry and cooking dinner? Or me walking Ara to kindergarten with the homemade lunch boxes? That turns you on?"

You laugh, hiding your face in his neck as you lean closer to press your lips against his ear.

"All of that-and the way that you love Ara with all your heart, that's maybe the sexiest thing about you."

The man groans as he grabs you even tighter. "I never thought that sweet talk would turn me on even more than dirty talk," he laughs shakily as he wiggles his hips slightly to get into a more comfortable position that won't suffocate his hardening erection.

You sigh, sit up and run your hands through his hair. "Isn't all of this too early? I always tell myself that I shouldn't fall so fast, but here I am, ready to go every step with you."

Yoongi nods before he presses a peck on your nose. "Same, but we have all the time on earth. Ara wants us to get married by tomorrow, but I'm sure she'll survive it if we decide to postpone it for a few weeks."

You giggle as you look over your shoulder to the fireplace. "Did someone ever suck you off in front of a fireplace? Isn't this the definition of Christmas?"

The man underneath you gasps in shock. "No, but… I mean, I… You don't… have to?"

Laughing, you slide out of his lap and onto the floor, thankful for the soft carpet. "I want to, bubs. I wouldn't do something either of us isn't comfortable with. I assume you're alright with it?"

"Of course, but… I guess nobody ever did it because they wanted to, but because they feel like they had to?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, obviously disappointed in his previous partners. 

"It's as much fun and pleasure for me as it is for you, believe me, Yoon. Now lay back and enjoy, yeah?" You give him a calming smile as you open his pants carefully, then sliding them down his toned legs.

You press kisses all around his thighs to warm him up to the feeling, knowing that it has to be overwhelming to have some that close after all that time. Then, you gently remove his boxer shorts as well, leaving him bare and proud in front of you.

You groan as you start to stroke his cock, earning a low growl from Yoongi. "So beautiful," you whisper, then you take him into your mouth, getting a feeling for the weight on your tongue before you start bopping your head. 

Yoongi tries to contain himself, knowing that Ara could wake up every second, but alone the sight in front of him could make him come with a scream.

Instead, he cups your cheek, feeling the bulge that he causes there. Another groan leaves his lips. 

You look up at him, smirking-or trying to, with a mouth full of cock-and leading his hand into your hair, using it to push you down even more.

Yoongi's eyes lighten up. "Really?"

You almost laugh out, but you're doing your best to contain yourself and nod, placing your hands on his thighs to stop whenever you can't take it anymore. Yoongi is long and thicker than the average you've had before, but it's a challenge that's worth it.

He pushes you down slowly, enjoying the hot warmth of your mouth and then your throat as he pushes in-surprised that you didn't really gag around him.

Spit trickles down your chin as he moves faster, thrusting his hips to meet the movements of his hand and enjoying the gurgling sounds you make.

He comes far to quick for his own liking, shooting his load down your throat with a quiet groan. "Fuck."

You giggle as you swallow what he gives you, standing up to sit back on his lap to kiss him.

"You're welcome." 

Then, before you can grab your wine again, he flips you around and goes on his knees in front of you. "My turn," he smirks, eyes shining dangerously behind his fringe. 

"Yoongi, I-," you try to say, but he shushes you with a sloppy kiss.

"I know that I have to, but believe me: I love giving pleasure more than receiving it."

You pout, hands running through his soft hair.

"I didn't shave…," you whisper, a bit ashamed because you didn't come prepared, not thinking that this would be happening today.

The man in front of you raises an eyebrow.

"Do you think I am a 15 year old, pre puberty fuckboy that cares about shaved pussies? It's natural, love. Even if you can't believe it: I grow hair too, nobody is freshly shaved every day. I don't mind that, okay? Now, stop pouting and let me do my work, will you? Can you be a good girl and do that for me? All you've got to do is lean back, open your legs, throw them around my shoulders and let me devour you."

His shameless words turn you on, you can't even deny it-especially not when your panties are that damp. So, you naturally obey and help him to remove your pants.

"I told you, peach is your color," Yoongi groans in his deep Satoori as he looks at your clothed core. The peach colored lace has darkened from your arousal and the man can't help it but press his face against the material, licking one bold stripe over it.

Nobody has ever done that to you, rather pulled them off in a hurry because they thought that body fluids were disgusting, but Yoongi didn't seem to mind as he gently bites your folds through the lace. 

"God," you moan in pleasure as Yoongi finally pulls your panties to the side and spits onto your pussy, making it even wetter.

You're a whimpering mess as soon as Yoongi's tongue is on you, flicking and playing with your clit, collecting your juices and spreading them all over your pussy. You've read about that before; men eating pussy like they're starving, but Yoongi is somewhat different.

He eats pussy like he wants you to always remind it, to make you obedient and never being able to enjoy anyone else doing that job.

He does it well-of course. His tongue is as fast as he's been spitting rhymes on his mixtape, and you're more than thankful for that.

He doesn't even get to use his fingers before your orgasm approaches you, strong waves of pleasure hitting you as Yoongi keeps on kissing and slowly licking you through your high.

Then, he grins at you. "Round two, here we go."

And this time, it's not only his tongue working wonders, but also his fingers stroking you on the inside until they found your spot. 

You press your hands on your mouth to keep yourself from screaming out loud, hips bucking wildly as you come for a second time within less than ten minutes. And again, Yoongi guides you through it and softly caresses your stomach.

"Fuck, I love you," you pant as he comes back up and steals a kiss from you.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed properly," he whispers and takes a large sip from his wine. 

You can only agree.

You've started to spend the nights at Yoongi's more often, bringing Ara to work with you and helping Yoongi with her and the household whenever you can. Your relationship blooms beautifully and Ara is the happiest little bean when you're around.

Obviously, you spent Christmas with Yoongi and Ara as well, buying little presents and enjoying the comfortable atmosphere with the family.

Yoongi gave you a spare key to his house, so you're always able to visit them, spending the nights there and soon enough, you moved in.

❄❄❄❄

The Christmas after that, you surprised Ara with the adoption papers, telling her that now that she's in school and not one of your kindergarten kids anymore, she'll be able to finally call you Mommy (not that Ara minded before, you just felt weird and guilty about it).

And here you are now, preparing the huge breakfast for your third Christmas around, smiling at the ring that adorns your finger. 

"Smells fabulous, Mama," Ara says as she runs towards you and falls into your arms.

"Do you want me to help you with dessert, Mrs Min?" Yoongi asks as he presses a kiss onto your cheeks. You lean into his touch, shaking your head. "It's almost done. You can go into the living room, I'll be there in a minute to open our presents, bubs."

Yoongi prepares the fireplace, lightens some candles with Ara and lets his daughter hand out the presents. 

"I have one more for you, Yoon," you whisper as you hand him a small box.

"Oh? Can I open this first?" He tilts his head curiously, shaking the light box.

"Open!" Ara squeaks and sits down between her father and you. You nod with a fond smile as Yoongi lifts the top. Then, silence.

"Really?" He whispers with teary eyes.

"Yes, finally," you smile, "Ara, you'll become a big sister!"

Yoongi sniffs, hugging his family tight.

"And she'll be the best sister in the world. Merry Christmas, loves."

[americancowgirl19]

Leave a Message

Summary: No matter how many times they call, all they get is the answering machine.

Warnings: angst, cursing, fluff, dates might not be correct (deal with it)

Reader: Sister Winchester Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!reader, John Winchester x Daughter!reader, slight Bobby Singer x Daughter!reader

Word Count: 3,481

A/n: Y/n/n = Your nickname Y/d/n = Your daughters name

Masterlist

December 19th, 1996 - 9:17 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, Y/n/n, it’s Dean. Where are you? Dad won’t tell Sammy and I anything. You’ve been gone for two days. Please, just tell me you’re safe. Call me back,”

March 5th, 1997 - 1:32 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“It’s Sam... You’ve been gone a long time... Dad won’t talk about you anymore, he gets mad when we bring you up. He won’t let us look for you but don’t worry, Dean still does and I help him where I can. I don’t know where you are but we’ll find you. We’ll bring you back. Love you,”

October 31st, 1997 - 8:49 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“...It’s Halloween... Remember when you would make Sammy dress up in some stupid costume and take him out trick or treating for a little bit? Dad would always get mad but you had this way of just lightening him up. I swear we would gain so much weight eating Sammy’s candy when he went to bed *small chuckle*… You’ve been gone for almost a year and I’m no closer to finding you than when I started... I’m not gonna give up though. I know you’re out there even if Dad won’t say anything. I just hope that wherever you are... you’re safe. Please, call back,”

December 25th, 1997 - 10:23 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas, Y/n. I miss you... a lot. Dean says you’ll come back but I don’t know if I believe him anymore. We should have found you by now right? Dad should be helping us *aggravated sigh*… He’s been drinking a lot lately... I just want you to come back. Nothing’s been the same since you left. I don’t know where you are but I hope Dean finds you. We need you here. We Love you,”

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas, Y/n/n... Sammy demanded that I call you and tell you that... He thinks you’ll come back if we talk to you or something like that... I don’t know... I’m starting to think you’re not actually missing... I think you and dad fought and you left us. I don’t think you want to be found... *sigh*… I thought you were happy here, with us. I don’t know what dad said to make you leave but please just... come back... Sammy needs you. I... *heavy sigh*… Come back,”

February 10th, 1998 - 2:30 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, Y/n. Nothing has really changed in the last couple of months. Dad’s wanting to take me on more hunts but Dean’s holding him off. I know I’m ready to take on more of the big stuff. I just have to prove to Dean that I’m ready, that I can handle myself. You should come back and help me convince Dean I’m not a little kid anymore...You should come back... Love you”

June 1st, 1998 - 11:41 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Sammy got hurt today... We were hunting and... I don’t even know what happened. One second he was behind me and then we were separated and then he was hurt. Dad got pissed. Dad told me Sammy wouldn’t have gotten hurt if you were looking after him... I know he’s right... You were always better at looking after him than I was... Hell, you’re better at looking after me than I am... I don’t know how much longer we can keep going on without you. We’re falling apart here. Dad’s either hunting or emptying a liquor store. I’m trying to look after him and Sammy but... I can’t do this alone. I don’t know why you left or if you’re even- fuck... if you’re even getting these messages...”

October 31st, 1998 - 9:02 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Happy Halloween... Dean said I shouldn’t call... That you wouldn’t answer. That you’re probably not even listening to the messages... That might be true but still... You’re my sister and I miss you.”

December 25th, 1998 - 12:13 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Merry Christmas from Dean and I...”

December 17th, 1999 - 4:55 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“It’s been three years, Y/n... God, it’s been three years... I miss you like hell...Damn, I just... I just miss you”

December 17th, 2000 - 7:00 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, it’s Dean. Just checking in... Everything’s fine on our end. Dad and Sammy are both doing good. It’s been four years and... I guess we’re just now figuring out how to work without you *small laugh, sniffle*… Sammy’s doing good in school. I can finally drink *laugh* legally that is. I know you’re getting these messages cause Sammy and I have left a shit ton and the box isn’t full yet. That means that you’re deleting them. I guess on the bright side that means you’re alive... I don’t know whether to be happy or pissed... I guess a little bit of both... I miss you. Sammy misses you. Hell, even dad misses you even if he doesn’t say anything. I hope you’re listening to these and not just deleting them... I guess it makes me feel better to think you actually listen... Guess it means a small part of you still cares enough to at least listen to me ramble on... *sigh*… I want you to know... You can come back. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been gone, you can still come back. I want you to come back. Hell, I’d be happy for a damn phone call or even a fucking text! Something!... Just give me something...”

December 17th, 2001 - 6:26 am

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hey, it’s Dean. *Large sigh* I’m just... Just checking in... God, I wish you were here... More than anything... God, I need you. Text me where you are and I promise I will drop everything to come pick you up. Hell, I won’t even ask a damn question. Sammy and Dad have been going at it... It seems like it never ends. I can feel him pulling away. I know Sammy wants to leave and if Dad doesn’t lay off we’re gonna lose him just like... Just like we lost you... I can’t lose him.. I lost... I-I lost you an-and now *throat clearing*… If you come back then you can fix everything like you always could. You know, like, you could just... you can fix us... You can calm Sam down and make him stay... You can get dad to relax... I can’t keep this family together, they’re slipping through my fingers. Please, come back...”

July 8th, 2002 - 4:09 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“...Sammy’s gone... *slow sigh*… *sniffle*… I-... *quiet sob*…”

September 28th, 2006 - 6:37 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Hello, this is Stacey with the - hospital. I’m calling for a Y/n Winchester. I have news about the passing of a John Winchester...”

May 1st, 2008 - 11:59 pm

“Hey, this is Y/n. Leave a message,”

“Uh... Hey, it’s uh... It’s Sammy - err - Sam. *Throat clearing* It’s been a long time since I called... Dean didn’t want me calling and I didn’t think I would have too but I can’t put this off anymore... Dean made a deal with a demon... His contract is up in a couple of weeks. I’m doing everything I can to get him out but... *shaky sigh*… I don’t know if... It would be nice if... If we could just see you. Leave the past behind us, ya know?... I doubt you’ll respond but I just... I had to let you know...”

Sam sigh’s hanging up the phone. It fidgets with the device in his hand, hunched over his knees. He could feel his heart dropping in disappointment. Even though he knew you wouldn’t answer there was still a small part that just... hoped.

He turns his head when he sees something moving in the corner of his eye. Dean leans against the doorway with his arms crossed. Sam looks into his eyes.

Neither of them have to say anything. They just understand.

It killed Dean that no matter what they said to you over the phone, you never called back. You never sent a text. You sure as hell never showed up. You simply dropped off the face of the Earth 10 years ago. No matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find a trace of you.

You were always the best. You were the best hunter, being the eldest of the three. You were the best ‘parent’, being the unofficial mother figure. You somehow managed being both mother and sister. It’s what made your disappearance so hard. The boys weren’t just losing a sister.

Despite the fact that they couldn’t track you, you could track them. In fact, you had been doing your best to keep your eye on them. You’re father had demanded that you leave, never come back, and never contact them. You tried your best but you loved your brothers, you had to make sure they were ok.

However, they’re Winchesters. Keeping tabs on them wasn’t always easy. There would be months where they would be the ones that fell off the face of the Earth before suddenly reappearing somewhere. 

You listened to every single voice mail they left. You would cry your eyes out every time. You couldn’t put into words the pain you felt when you heard their voices begging you to come back. You always looked forward to their calls but it never failed to send you into an anxious depressive mess for weeks, sometimes longer, afterward.

It didn’t matter though, you had to keep moving. You had to keep living. It’s not just you who you have to worry about. 

In a couple of months your daughter would be turning 10. Y/d/n Winchester. The father disappeared a couple hours after conception. You had tried to track him down but it wasn’t your main priority. 

Telling your father was extremely hard but him forcing you to leave was the hardest. He wouldn’t let you say goodbye to your brothers. He just told you to pack your bag and get in the Impala while the boys were asleep. He bought you a bus ticket to the furthest place that the bus went too and told you to stay away from the life.

He knew if you talked to your brothers you would be pulled back in. If you were pulled back in, your daughter would be caught in the supernatural mess. John knew a war would be coming and a little baby shouldn’t be in the middle.

As much as you love your brothers, your priority is your daughter. You loved her from the moment you found out she was in your stomach. You had to protect her, no matter what. It didn’t matter what happened to you, your daughter was going to live a happy life.

You always dreamed of a day where you could introduce your daughter to her grandpa and uncles. You dreamed of different scenarios. You prayed they would come true.

When you learned of your father’s death you wanted to cave that instant. You wanted to pack your things, pick your daughter up from school, and go to Bobby’s. You knew the boys would be there. They could cover their tracks but sometimes they were just down right predictable. 

But then you remembered how he died. The nurses had explained the weird things going on and you got the security footage. You watched Dean teeter between the living and the dead before miraculously recovering. Not long later, your father dies. You were able to put two and two together.

Watching the footage would be the first time you saw Sam and Dean since you were a teenager. You didn’t think it would be possible for them to be so tall. The longing for your brothers amplified but they were in deep shit with demons. That isn’t the life you could bring to your doorstep. That isn’t the danger you could bring to your daughter.

However, when you got Sam’s call your world stopped. Hearing that Dean would be dead in a few weeks, dragged to hell by those damn hounds, made you fall to your knees. Hearing about your father’s death, hell seeing it on camera, was one thing. But to lose your brother is something you never wanted to go through.

Sure, you haven’t talked to him but you knew he was alive. You knew he was still kicking ass and taking names. But now you knew he was going to die and there wasn’t a damn thing you could to about it.

But you could do one thing.

“Where are we mom?” Your daughter asks in the back seat as you pull up to a motel. You don’t answer her. Your eyes are glued on the sleek, black Impala. Suddenly you’re 19 again being dropped off at the bus station by your dad who’s telling you to never come back again. “Mom?” You shake the thoughts out of your head. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” You whisper.

You were not fine. Your anxiety is so high that someone would need an oxygen take to climb to the top. Your nerves are shaking your hands. You couldn’t sit still. You felt as if you were on the verge of a panic attack. You managed to keep yourself together not wanting to have such an attack in front of your daughter.

“Sam,” You whisper. You’re youngest brother walks to the Impala, not sparing your car a glance. You watch him open the truck and rummage through it.

“That’s Uncle Sam?” Your daughter asks. Your daughter knew almost everything about your family. She had an idea about the supernatural but not a lot.

“Yeah,” You whisper.

“When was the last time you talked to him?” 

“Too long,” You respond. Sam closes the trunk and begins to walk away. “Stay here,” You say sternly. “I’ll come back for you,”

“Ok,” Your daughter barely answers before you’re out the car following your brother. You were so nervous about the fact that you were about to approach your brother for the first time in a decade that you had forgot one thing. He’s a Winchester.

Sam rounded the corner and you quickly followed. What you weren’t expecting was for him to grab you and slam you against the wall with his forearm digging into your throat.

“Who are you?” He snapped.

“Damn, Sammy,” You choked. Sam frowns his eyebrows and you give him the best Winchester smirk you could muster. “What? Don’t recognize your own sister?” You joke nervously. Sam frowns his eyebrows even more as he takes in your features. “You were the one who called me...” Sam eases back a bit but isn’t completely sure if he trusts you. “Unless you plan on cutting me with some silver or splashing me with some holy water, mind stepping back?” You grab your brothers arm and pull it to the side allowing you to slip away from the wall.

“Y/n?” Sam whispers.

“The one and only,” You wink at him.

“You’re actually here?” Sam asks. You nod.

“I heard that Dean’s in a tough spot,” Sam ignores your comment. “Thought I’d come see you assholes,” The edge of Sam’s lip raises a bit.

“Mom?” Your head snaps to your daughter. Sam slowly follows your gaze.

“I told you to stay in the car,” You growled. 

“I wanted to meet Uncle Sam,” She says walking up cautiously. You sighed and motioned for her to come.

“Uncle Sam?” Sam whispers frowning his eyebrows.

“Sammy, this is Y/d/n,” You introduce glancing at your brother. “My ten year old daughter,” Sam meets your gaze and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“Ten?” 

You slowly nod your head.

“Well, technically not yet but I will be,” She says running a hand through her hair. “It’s nice to meet you,” Y/d/n says holding out her hand. Sam looks down at her and instantly begins to notice the resemblance. He slowly begins to smile and shakes her hand.

“I’m going to assume Dean is with you,” Sam looks back to you.

“And Bobby,” You smile at the mention of his name. “Come on, they’d love to see you,” 

“I’m not sure if love is the right word but they sure as hell will be shocked,” You say following after him. Sam grins a bit but doesn’t comment. “Y/d/n, I want you to stay behind me or by Sam, alright? I don’t know how Uncle Dean and Grandpa Bobby are going to react but don’t be scared. If it gets too much, step outside, alright?”

“Ok,” Y/d/n nods. You smile kissing the top of her head. Sam glances back at you and his niece. A fond smile coming to his lips.

“We’re in here,” Sam mutters opening the door. Dean doesn’t even glance up but Bobby does. The instant Bobby sees you he drops the beer he was holding.

“What the hell, Bobby?” Dean snips when some of it splashes on him.

“Use your eyes and look, boy,” Bobby snapped back. Dean looks at Bobby and then to you. You notice Dean pale.

“Hi, boys,” You whisper.

“What’re you doing here?” Dean asks, after a long silence.

“I came to see you Dean,” You tell him. Dean scoffs.

“What do you want?” He rephrases his words.

“Nothing,” You shake your head. “Sam called-”

“We both called,” Dean snapped. “Hundred of times we called,” You press your lips together. “Did you even listen to them?” He asks standing up.

“Every one of them,” You whisper.

“And you never thought to call back?” He growls stepping closer to you. “What about the time Sammy begged you to come back? What about when I begged? When I told you we needed you? Where the hell have you been?”

“Taking care of me,” Y/d/n speaks up. Dean’s head snaps over to her. You look at her as well. She looks nervous but you smile proudly as she puts on a brave face and walks up to Dean. She looked scared but she didn’t waver as she stopped in front of your angry brother. “I’m Y/d/n... and I’m ten... almost,” 

Dean stares at her, his mind processing everything. He slowly looks from her, to you, back to her. She shifts a bit but continues to look strong.

“It’s my fault she had to leave,” She continues.

“Baby-” You try to interrupt but she wont let you.

“I don’t know the whole story but I know she misses you and Uncle Sammy and Grandpa John and Grandpa Bobby a lot,” You glance at Bobby. The old geezer has tears in his eyes as she says ‘Grandpa Bobby’. “She told me all about the pranks you would pull together and how you would all look after each other. She would tell me stories every night. She wanted to go back to you but she wouldn’t because of me...” She whispers.

“Y/d/n, we talked about this,” You say, slowly turning your daughter to face you. “None of this is your fault, ok? I love you and I don’t blame you a bit because it’s not your fault. Yes, I missed my brothers and your grandpas but I love you so much that I would stay away. There’s so much you don’t know still and I’ll tell you when you get a little older but-”

“It was safer for you two to stay away,” Dean whispers. You glance at your brother. He’s staring at you. “She just wanted to protect you, she did what she had to do. She was always good at doing the right thing,” You smile a bit.

“There’s a few things I could have done differently,” You shrugged.

“A text would have been nice,” Sam muttered and you smiles a bit.

“How about letters?” You ask. Y/d/n pulls a large stack of letters out of her bag. “They’re addressed to all of you,” You say tearing up. “There’s some for dad too but...” You sniffle a bit.

“You’re here,” Dean whispers, disbelief clouding his eyes. You glance at him. For a moment you’re looking at teenage Dean.

“And I’m safe,” You smile a bit. Dean’s smile widens just a bit. “I just have to figure out a way to keep you safe... Can’t leave you boys alone for a second,” You tease tearfully. Dean smiles and pulls you into a tight hug. Sam comes up to you as well and you wrap your arms around your little, yet taller, brothers. “I love you both so much,” You whisper.

@akshi8278​

[sunshineseung]

Gag Gift // Seungmin

🍄 | genre: smut ☁️ | pairing: Kim Seungmin x female!reader 🌿 | wc: 2.5k 🌸 | includes: dom!seungmin, sub!reader, established relationship, use of toys (ball gag), teasing, sadistic seungmo, PIV, unprotected sex, mild size kink, Seungmin is huge :), mentions of distention (stomach bulging), slight degradation and overstimulation, creampie, aftercare, soft ending 

☀️ | synopsis: Merry Christmas! Seungmin gets you the gag gift of being gagged.

🌊 | This is for the Stray Kids Smutmas collaboration hosted by @clandestine-lixie​ ! Here is a link to the full masterlist with all of the other amazing writers that participated! I’m well over a week late on when I was planning to release this because I’ve literally rewritten this five times :D I hope it’s good now though lol. Here’s a very late Merry Christmas and a slightly late Happy New Year!

You were drifting in and out of consciousness, trying desperately to stay awake until your boyfriend got home. It was very late, but since you couldn’t spend Christmas together, you wanted to see him, even if it was just to cuddle to sleep. 

There’s a faint jingling from the front door, and you spring up in excitement. The tiredness that just overwhelmed you was now nearly gone, replaced by the eagerness to greet your boyfriend. His key twists and he pushes the door open. By the time he was able to take his shoes off, you were already standing in front of him, ready to give him the biggest hug of his life.

“Minnie!” You wrapped your arms around him, taking a quick whiff of his cologne. He chuckled and hugged you back, pulling you close. You two just stood in each other’s arms in silence, appreciating this small moment, because you don’t get moments like these often. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, baby.” You could feel Seungmin’s wide smile on the back of your neck. By the way he’s squeezing you, he has missed you a lot more than you’ve missed him. “How’s my girl been while I was away?” 

“I’ve been good, I promise!” There was no need for you to tag on the last part because Seungmin trusts you more than you know, but it still brings a smile to his face to see you so jumpy and happy. He knew you’d be good. You’re always good for Seungmin. You both pull away from the hug, finally just looking at each other after what felt like ages being apart. 

“Ah, you’re so cute.” He cups your cheek and pecks your lips, making you squeal and butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I got my baby a gift. Let me get comfortable before you open it.”

He passes you a box out of his bag. It’s slightly jingling, and you have no idea what Seungmin got you. You move out of his way, allowing Seungmin to go to your shared bedroom to get changed out of his outside clothes. He comes back to the living room in baggy sweatpants and a loose tee-shirt, but no matter what he wore, he looked good. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for Christmas, so I thought I’d get you something special.”

Seungmin spent Christmas with Stray Kids while you spent Christmas with your family, and it was going to be your first Christmas together before business arose and Seungmin had to stay in Seoul. Although you were both disappointed, you had your own mini-Christmas before you left for the holiday. You didn’t expect Seungmin to get you another gift, but any gift is always welcomed. 

You tear open the wrapping, tossing it in the general direction of the trashcan, and slide open the box. What you’re holding in your hands almost makes you jump back, but your mind’s too busy thinking of how to use it to react. Your hands grip the leather straps, and the large silicone ball rests in the middle. Your eyes go wide as you look up to Seungmin. His eyes are glued to you, waiting for any sort of response. 

“Is this too much?” His voice cracked, and he was clearly concerned by your reaction. You had similar kinks to each other, but he thought he finally found something that scared you, and that made his heartache. He was supposed to protect you, be the best dominant ever, but he felt like he took it too far. “I’m sorry, I can-”

“Please use it.” You cut him off mid-sentence, hoping to wash his worries away. If your wavering voice wasn’t enough, your puppy eyes surely sold the point home. “I want you to use this on me.”

“Baby,” Seungmin takes the gag from your hands and fiddles with the latch, calculating what to do next, “are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m totally sure.” You take his hands in yours, him dropping the ball gag on the couch along with the gift box. “I want this.”

“Aright, sweetheart.” He pecks your lips again, this time slightly longer and needier than before. You knew he wanted to go farther in that moment, but he wanted to keep you wanting more. “Go to the bedroom. I’ll clean this off before we use it.”

🍓🍰🐤🍀💐🍯

You patiently waited for Seungmin, spreading yourself on the bed half naked, only wearing your sheer, dark red panties that he loves to tear off of you. The few days away from each other quickly caught up to your libido and you felt a powerful sense of neediness take over every part of your body, like you were in a trance to only think about Seungmin and what he could do to your body. When he walked into the bedroom, your eyes were shut and your hand played with your cunt over your underwear.

“Ah, couldn’t wait, huh?” Seungmin leans down to kiss you, not removing your hand from your pussy or even mentioning that you should. He let you get yourself off in the slightest way for a moment before getting on top of you, pulling your wrists over your head and finally matching your gaze with his. “Before I put this in, I want to feel your pretty lips on mine.” 

Although he mentioned your lips, your make out quickly turned into a tongue-on-tongue mess, spit slowly coating your lips and drool seeping out the side of your mouth. Seungmin’s hands felt your sides, caressing your waist and chest. His fingers gently circled your nipples before twisting and pulling lightly, making you groan lightly into the kiss. He knew all your sweet spots like the back of his hand, and he intended on proving this to you over the course of the night. 

Seungmin finally pulled away from your mouth, looking down at you as you pouted from the loss. The smirk that formed on his face was devilish, but knowing he was turned on from just a short make out session was enough to make your cunt soak through your panties. 

“Open wide, princess.” His pet names always made you melt, and before your brain could comprehend what he was trying to do, your jaw had pliantly gone slack for him to wrap the leather straps around your head and settle the ball between your lips. Once the gag was fastened, he sat back and looked at the beautiful view under him: you. He was almost swooning before his dick twitched in his pants, reminding him on the task at hand. “You’re gonna stay nice and quiet for me, right?”

Without thinking, you try to squeak out a yes only to be muffled by the silicon ball which is quickly becoming covered in your spit from your resting tongue. Nothing this, you nod urgently, slightly lifting your hips for him to take your soaked panties off.

“Oh, and you wore my favorite pair. How thoughtful.” Seungmin’s left hand holds down your hips while his right hand swipes over your panties, applying pressure to your aching cunt. He can feel how wet you are, but he still wants to play with you before giving you what you so desperately desire. He presses his impressive bulge into your cunt, making you writhe from the stimulation that just isn’t enough for you to feel satisfied. To make matters worse (or better), you couldn’t even tell Seungmin how much of a tease he was being. All you could do was lay back and pray that he’d stuff his cock into you eventually.

You move your hands from above your head to your legs, helping spread them for your boyfriend to get a better angle at your cunt, but he swiftly slaps you away and moves your hands back over your head. Seungmin tsks, unsure whether or not he should get the rope out to keep your arms bound above your head. 

“Good girls keep their hands to themselves, right?” Again, you nod like your life depended on it. “Then keep your hands there, unless my baby wants to be punished?”

You shook your head left to right, hopefully displaying just how much you didn’t want to get punished. As much of a masochist as you were, at this moment in time, you just wanted to cum as many times as Seungmin would allow you to. 

“Mmm, good girl.” He grinds into you again, rolling his hips against your clothed pussy, making sure your fully saturated panties leave a wet mark on his sweatpants. He hisses, cock painfully pressing against the fabric of his pants. Luckily, he didn’t bother wearing boxers. He knew how happy you would be to see him, after all. “You want my cock, baby?” 

High-pitched moans left your throat, and while they were being muffled, they were well loud enough for Seungmin to get the idea. Once more, you lift your hips, and this time Seungmin pulls your panties down by the center and throws them to the side, quickly followed by his shirt. You get an incredible view of his sculpted abs, and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world knowing you were the only one who got to see them. 

“If you want my cock so bad, you’re gonna have to beg for it.” Your eyes go wide as he laughs sadistically, fully realizing what he just said before he even said it. You jerk your hips up and down, pressing against his raging boner that was still concealed under his pants. Even though he was covered, the imprint from his cock made you want him more, as if that was possible. You could perfectly see the outline of his cock, and the darkened area around his tip pinpointed just how big his cock was. 

He shimmies his sweatpants down just enough to reveal his V line. Just before you can see where his happy trail ends, he stops. The whines coming from you can’t be silenced by the gag, and your pathetic noises are music to his ears. 

“I’m gonna fuck you raw.” His eyes squint at you, taking careful note of every expression you make. Your eyes threaten to roll back in your head at just the thought, but you still attempt to show some semblance of control. “You like being filled with my cum, huh? You like when I make you leak my cum like the little whore you are?” 

You moan in response to every question, but your eyes stay focused on his hands resting on the waistband of his pants. When he runs out of ways to tease you with his words, he kicks his sweatpants off, his long cock hitting his abs and falling back into Seungmin’s hand. He strokes himself a few times, groaning from his own touch. He looked like a Greek god, and you ate up every bit of it. 

“Is my little girl ready?” No matter what, Seungmin always liked to remind you of how small you looked compared to him. He loved to ruin your little body, even gloating to his friends that you’re so tiny compared to him. It wasn’t even just his height, it was also how his cock made you feel like you were being split in half. As painful as it could be, you loved every minute of it. “I’m not gonna hold back, baby.”

Seungmin pushes into you, going balls deep within seconds. He holds himself deep inside you, watching your face contort from the indescribable mix of pain and pleasure. His hands hold your hips before moving up to squeeze your waist and rub your stomach over the evident indent of his cock rearranging your organs. 

“Fuck, s-so tight.” He felt like he was about to snap, pressing lightly down onto your stomach to feel your walls enclose on him even more. When he started to thrust, things only got more difficult. You rolled your hips in sync with his, the sounds and scent of sex filling your stuffy bedroom on the cold winter night. Seungmin’s moans were always so pretty, and tonight was no exception. If anything, they sounded even nicer than before, but that also might have just been the added feeling of having him violate your pussy like he owned your body. The drag of his cock against your walls made you throw your head back with the pleasure becoming overwhelming in an instant. With your neck exposed, Seungmin took the opportunity to gently wrap his hand around your throat, pressing into the sides to make you choke just enough for you to tighten around him. 

You felt a familiar knot tighten in your core, and you knew you were close. If you could beg for Seungmin, you would, but given the circumstances, all you could do was sloppily moan and hope he understood, which by the convulsions of your pussy around him, he did understand. His eyes went from your bulging stomach to your face. There were tear stains running down your cheeks, and you looked so pitiful and desperate. The sight alone made him stop his thrusts so he didn’t cum, but he soon got back in the rhythm of punching your cervix with his tip. 

“Cum on my cock, pretty girl.” His hand that wasn’t on your neck went to play with your clit, his fingers circling the bud in the same rhythm as his hips thrusting into you. Your eyes were begging to him, wordlessly displaying all of your neediness with only a glance. “Show me how much you missed me.”

Nearly on cue, the knot in your stomach snapped, sending you over the edge with an intense orgasm. Your cunt clenched and convulsed around Seungmin’s twitching cock. His pace never let up: mercilessly fucking you through your orgasm. Every nerve was on end, and you felt like you were on cloud nine before crashing back down to Earth with the feeling of painful overstimulation that you loved so much. It didn’t last long, though. Seungmin shot his cum while he was bottomed out inside you, coating your walls in his milky white seed. He huffed and cursed as he held your body to his, stilling inside you onto to fuck his cum inside you once he was finished unloading. When he pulled out, his spurts of cum leaked down onto the bed from your fucked-out hole, and it looked so hot, Seungmin almost got hard again. 

“Lean up, princess.” You raised your head off the bed for Seungmin to release you from the gag, placing the toy on your bedside table. “Let me clean you up.” 

Seungmin disappears into the bathroom and returns with a dampened wash rag to wipe the sweat from your forehead and clean the mixture of cum from your cunt. All you could do was lay there and accept the gracious care from your loving boyfriend.

He tossed the rag on the floor and collapsed next to you, pulling you close and nuzzling into you. The smell of his cologne was now mixed with sweat and musk, but you didn’t mind. He held you like he never wanted to let you go, like you were his forever, and in his mind, you were. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/n.” He kisses your forehead and pets the hair away from your face, revealing your glimmering eyes. Despite what just happened minutes prior, you felt like the most loved woman on the planet. 

“Merry Christmas, Seungmin.”

[silkybullets]

“Death Call”

Midland Hotel, 1925, sitting alone at a table the evening before Christmas, Tommy's icy eyes met with a face he never had ever thought of seeing again, not whilst being alive at least. Which lead us back to Birmingham, 1914, after he volunteered in Small Heath rifles, he spent his last couple of months home holding your hand in the hospital, watching your colours fade as dying of an unknown disease.

Warnings: English is my second language.

Words: around 2k

Tommy just ordered a drink, adding to that a whore, a brand new one in honor of Christmas when he initially went to light his cigarette. His eyes drifted to a table further away where a woman was already sitting down. He did recognize her, remembering the sweet touch of an old lover. His stiffened body didn’t receive the orders to continue moving sent by his brain, his mind too occupied playing memories of before the war. Before it all begins, or all ends, depending which side you’re looking.

One the other side of the room, you were searching the pockets of your woolen coat. When you finally found your cigarette case, you got one out, sliding it in between your soft lips. After pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you hassled lightening up your cig and welcomed the poison in your lungs as if it was the purest thing. 

The waiter came closer to you, putting down your rhum, which you drank in one go and ordered another one. It’s been a couple months you didn’t drink and, after this first shot you don’t remember why. When doctors failed to diagnose you and closed your file with a lung disease you were young and never tasted the flavor of the liquid poison. But at the cliff of death, God granted you the wish to live.

Too bad that’s when your memories of endless & lonely drinking nights happened. 

Coming from a christian family, it was no question for them you had been chosen by God to do something great in this world. Pushing their luck they sent you to an orphanage run by nuns to pay your debts to God. When their initial idea was to keep you pure for as long as you were to be alive, you chose a different path for yourself, bounged down into alcohol, drugs and whatever came with it.

Saying you were a non-believer would be too much, but the idea of being some kind of “chosen one” was nonsense to you, that just meant death was right under your nose or waiting for you at the corner of the street. What happened next was logical consequence, your depraved self was sent back home after the nuns numerous warnings were ignored. You did not change, and decided not to. 

When being saved or witnessing a miracle helps people get their life in order, it had the reverse effect on you and you had yet to get your shit together.

When they recommended you to drastically change your ways for the sake of your family if not for you, you gave in. You had siblings, and knowing how hard your family could be on them at times, you didn’t want to leave them alone. But your good will ended tonight.

You looked at the filled glass in front of you for what seemed like an eternity,  weighting the pros and cons of getting drunk tonight and all the other after that one. You being dead or alive it’ll be okay for your family, you assured yourself to avoid feeling guilty for choosing not to fight. 

Ten minutes and three empty cups later, you were ordering another one. The waiter was intently looking at you, concerned, while you were ignoring his pout.

“You sure you want rhum, ma’m, Can I bring you something else, gin perhaps?” He was as smooth as one could, but the implicit meaning behind his words irritated you the most.

“Do I look like I’m sad, eh? Tell me ‘cause I don’t look at meself in mirrors these days.” You begin, agitating your fingers that were holding another cigarette. 

“Gin’s for sad women, whiskey for big boys crying, rhum for people like me: We are not sad enough for trying to drown our pain in gin, not hopeless alcoholics enough to to get drunk with something as tasteless as whisky. We simply enjoy a slow death with a sweet and spicy flavor. Please bring me the whole bottle this time.”

Without realizing it, you offered the man the warmest smile he had seen tonight and he gave one back even if still quite taken aback by your confusing revelation.

Tommy had seen enough, he got up throwing a bill near his drink and cleared his throat for lack of clearing his head. He walked to the table, the woman he once knew was seated, his voice already reaching her ears before their eyes would meet.

“Is this seat taken?” He motioned to the second chair around the table. Finishing another glass she invited him to sit down with a move of hand. Her cigarette in between her lips, she poured some rhum into her glass and ultimately lifted her eyes to his face.

“Are you sick of the hotel whore, Thomas? Am not one if this is your question.” She blinked as puffing on her cig. 

“Merry Christmas to you too, Y/N” He coughed. “See you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Nor did you.”

Lies, it was all lies, if it wasn’t her eyes he hadn’t recognized her. The woman he was in love with was long gone and so was the boy who loved her.

“So OBE it is, now?” She looked up to him.

He stayed in her eyes before daring to speak, and break the eye contact.

“You were always used to call me Tommy, we can stick to that.”

She didn’t respond nor look at him, keeping for herself any emotions his words had unleashed into her, if they did.

“What happened to you?” He spoke in a more vibrant ton. An attempt to ease the heavy atmosphere.

“War happened to us, Tom.” 

His eyes snapped open on her.

“What France did to you, remaining alive did to me.” She offered him a fair smile, looking straight at him with the same piercing gleam hiding behind her iris than when they were younger. 

“We all came back alive. John, Arthur, Freddie... Although they are now some missing pieces.”

“Yeah, fucking pieces spilled everywhere. It’s looking like the puzzles we used to play when we were younger, huh? Does that ring any bell?” She giggles.

It was hard for him to read her, he didn’t know what he felt either. 

He stayed at the hospital three months straight holding her hand as her colors were fading. He remembers vividly how difficult it was for her to breath, speak, even keeping her eyes open was a huge sacrifice. But she’d never compromised to keep them shut as he told her to, his face gave him the strength of an army, as she used to say. And that had him laugh, even though now he doesn’t remember the last time something as close as a laugh came out his throat.

“Don’t get fucking lost in memories, Thomas. Just ask for it.” 

She poured some liquor into her glass and slowly slid it to Tommy as if anticipating him telling her he didn’t want it.

He watched her moves with amusement, it was odd to him to find her here, but even more peculiar was the fact it seems like she knew him still. Like those ten years that separated them weren’t there, like there wasn’t a day they didn’t think about the other fondly. Her gaze didn’t leave his, and he knew exactly where her mind was because his own was at the same place. She was getting all the information she could to try to match his now tired face with the one she had been picturing in her head all those years.

“Okay then.” he nodded. “ Where have you been?” 

A smile appeared at the corner of his lips, they were playing a game he couldn’t only play with her, she was the one girl before France, everyone got their advantages.

“Fucking dying of being alive after I got strunk by some miracle.” She raised a brow as if to voice the displeasure of missing the boat.

“I thought you were dead.”

“I wish I was, Tommy.”

He let out a long sigh. Once again he failed at keeping a light atmosphere. It was to be said she wasn’t any help.

That’s when he realized no matter how it felt like they were still the same teenagers, back in 1914 before everybody got fucked up, no matter how hard the memories were hitting him this exact same instant with their first kiss, their first touch and the first time they exchanged their desire to live a life together, they were not the same. Nothing was.

She was only a mere shadow of herself, and he? He couldn’t even look at her in the eyes for more than five minutes, too afraid it would dig out things that must be kept where they were nowhere to be found for his own sake.

Every little thing about before France hurt him. Even the happy throwbacks, especially the happy throwbacks. Knowing he would never feel those feelings again, never get silly about the breeze meeting with his skin or the rising of the sun at the top of a hill killed him most. That’s why he didn’t want to ask more about what happened to her. But at the same time, the questions came naturally to him, as if he waited all along to throw them out, taking off his chest a weight he never realized to initially be there.

“Have you done better after I left?”

“I did. For a time. Some years, in fact, even though my parents sent me to a nunnery to thank God for his mercy.”

He snorted at her words.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me? They were always about keeping you saint, even asked me to fucking give up on taking you running in the fields to watch the night sky until sun rised, they never thought it could be the other way around, you leading me.”

She laughed at this thought.

“Don’t you dare say this as if you disliked me being the lead, Tommy Shelby.” She sneered.

“No, I indeed liked it.” He shook his head without hesitation.

“If only they knew what we did, in those nights.” They both spoke, their voice overlapping along with their minds.

“Tommy you got to follow me, or else we’ll be too late.”

“Let me catch a breath, we got all the time to come up the hill some other nights.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s tonight the fireballs are going to be running in the sky!”

“You aware it’s not called “fireball” and that they are not ‘running’ in the sky?”

The girl stuck her tongue out, turning to him, her eyes mechanically squinted at the move. She did not realize he was right behind her and faked all along still behind at the feet of the hill to annoy her. His body strongly collided with her, making her stagger but Tommy’s arms locked her waist firmly, avoiding her body from meeting the ground, and his lips dropped on her mouth in a second, she couldn’t even close her eyes during the kiss.

“Stop it!” Her suave voice worded as one of her hands went hitting his chest, even if her deepest desire was for him not to let go of her lips.

“I’m thinking about that one night we first fucked. Bodies wet both by sweat and dew“ She muttered.

He was sitting but naked on the grass, his fingers intertwined in her hair that was falling at her back as holding her tightly. She was the type of flowers you thought were beautiful but couldn’t help but rip off the ground, dooming them to die in your hands. 

Her legs were strongly wrapped around his hips, she was carefully grounding down on him, making sure every of her moves were slow to make the pleasure last. She turned loose the grip of her arms around his neck and leaned backward so he’d hit her from another angle, this one allowing him to reach the bottom.

Her screams filled his ears and soon enough his mouth as she straightened back up, seeking his eyes, wanting to connect even more. The darkness he ignited in her eyes that night never left, always leading him to always want her, even in the most inappropriate places.

“I was thinking about that time at the local church.” He admitted.

“Every-fucking-body heard the screams--” She proudly stated.

“The priest was more than disturb” He added. “But they never found out who that was.” 

“Well, we know.” She handed him her cigarette. He gladly took it and smoked as much as he could, clouding his lungs as well as his mind.

She giggled some more, shaking her head both sides, she couldn’t believe they did such a thing, but knowing as mad they were when together, it was all figured out.

“It came back, Tommy.”

“What did?” He gained his serious tone back, eyes locking with hers.

“The disease, they say it’s even more violent this time, but I know it just never left. It has been lurking in the dark to come back when I’ll be happy again. But seeing I figured out its plan, it decided it was time to finish me off.” She sang. Her voice was devoid of any sadness, and he noticed it. “I think it’s a curse, Tommy. Run in our blood. Me grandma’ had that too, it passed a generation, leaving my mother and little sister alone. But I fear for the others.”

Old reflexes leading the way, Tommy’s hand fondled hers in the most natural way. He leaned forward to her as she took off his lips her cigarette, filling her lungs with that poison in hope it would kill the one that resided in her since way too long.

[rareficsnstuff]

Not-so-hot Chocolate [Bokuto, Akaashi]

This was a ride. My high school laptop is finally kaput so I had to resort to mobile to post this (*whispers* I'veneverpostedonmobilehowthehelldoesthisshitworksomeoneplzhelp). Anyways! Merry super belated Christmas and happy new year, @danibby, I hope this is what you wanted!! And thanks @ticklygiggles for hosting and allowing my disaster self to be a part of this for the first time ever! Despite all the road blocks, it was really fun!

Summary: Bokuto and Akaashi are out trying to buy some gifts for their teammates, but in true Bokuto fashion, he forgot something of minor importance and now he has to deal with the consequences… or Akaashi does???

Words: 2039

“Akaashiiiii ~!” Bokuto whined for the umpteenth time since they had met up that night.

“Not my fault, Bokuto. You knew we’d be outside; you should have thought ahead,” said Akaashi flatly, who was trying hard to contain his building irritation with his Captain.

“But I didn’t think it would be this cold ~”

Akaashi stopped dead in his tracks, turning slowly to face Bokuto. “Bokuto,… it’s snowing…” His tone was threaded with bored incredulity and his eyes had widened a bit in borderline disgust.

“W-well yeah, but-… I-I just… Akaaaaashiiii ~! My hands are so coooold!”

“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem…” Bokuto groaned miserably at this less-than-friendly reply, head rolling back and shoulders sagging to allow his arms to dangle; like a child. “C’mon, we’ve still got half the team to buy gifts for. We can get some hot chocolate or something after the next couple of stores in this section,” Akaashi bargained.

“Lemme borrow your gloves!”

“No.”

“We can trade off!”

“No.”

“Akaaaashiiii ~!” Dammit.

“Fine! We can get hot chocolate now, just calm down!” Bokuto’s face had twisted into a juvenile pout but at the promise of a hot beverage to warm his hands, his eyebrows lifted hopefully and his golden eyes were practically sparkling. There was a definite bounce to his step now as the two headed towards the welcoming glow of cozy little café on the shopping strip.

Some time later, they were back on their way, looking through shop windows and discussing options of what to get their teammates as they nursed their steaming cocoa.

“Akaashi, let’s take a break and go over there to finish our hot chocolate!” Bokuto exclaimed, pointing excitedly to an empty park across the street with his cocoa-free hand. Akaashi nodded agreement and the two head over, perching themselves in a half-sitting-half-standing position against the back of one of the benches. “Watch this, Akaashi!” said Bokuto suddenly. Akaashi looked up at him, lazily expectant, as Bokuto drew an arm back and launched his now empty cup at a garbage bin four feet away. The cup bounced off the outer rim, sending it directly into the basket with a soft clatter. “WOOOH!” Bokuto cheered.

“Nice shot.”

“I know, right!” Although, Bokuto had ordered the largest size of hot chocolate, he had finished long before Akaashi who had gone with two sizes smaller. The younger still had the last half to drink but Bokuto didn’t seem to mind waiting for his setter. Until…

“Akaashiii ~” Oh god…

Knowing what was coming, Akaashi only hummed in response.

“My hands are cold again ~”

“Move around. It’ll help keep your body temp up.” And Bokuto began humorously trotting around his setter, rolling his shoulders and desperately rubbing his hands to keep warm. “With you size and build, I would have expected you to be the type to always be hot…” Akaashi drawled, ignoring Bokuto’s prancing and staring straight ahead. Secretly, he was trying not to smile. Why was Bokuto always such a goof?

“Common misconception… “ Bokuto had paused and mumbled to himself, “Was that the right term?” One corner of Akaashi’s mouth twitched. “I get real hot in the summer n’ stuff, but it’s the reverse in winter. It’s like my body just absorbs whatever temperature it is outside at the time… It sucks.” Bokuto pouted, still keeping up with his prancing as he moved to circle Akaashi for some diversity in his pattern.

Wow. Akaashi sure was taking his sweet time with that hot chocolate. Hadn’t he finished yet? Bokuto eyed him somewhat impatiently from the corner of his eye as he jogged circle after circle around him. When he was directly behind him after his twelfth circle, he stopped, jogging in place as his eyes practically burned holes into Akaashi’s back.

“GMMHmm!” Akaashi choked. He had been in the middle of another sip of his rapidly cooling chocolate when he felt Bokuto cram his wide hands in the slots between his arms and ribs. With a struggle, he had managed not to spew it onto the snow at his feet and swallowed it a bit painfully down his throat, stone-faced composure quickly back in place. Slowly, he turned his head to meet his captain’s wide, golden eyes. Bokuto’s expression was innocently expectant; he looked at Akaashi with raised eyebrows, glittering eyes and a pleasant – albeit dopey – smile. “What are you doing…” Akaashi said, barely even as a question; almost daring him to answer.

“I thought it might help, but your coat’s so thick your body heat doesn’t seep through like I’d hoped.” Bokuto’s brows furrowed in thought and Akaashi rolled his eyes before he took another sip of cocoa. He decided it had been too long a day to care and simply allowed his Senpai to stand there with his hands on his ribcage as he nonchalantly polished off his not-so-hot-chocolate. “OOooo- wait a minute, I’ve got a better idea!” Bokuto exclaimed making Akaashi jump, half turning his head to the elder.

“W-whoa, whoa- hey! No!” he spluttered, quickly stepping out of Bokuto’s reach and spinning around to face him, slightly crouched in a defensive stance and brandishing his nearly empty cup like some kind of hilariously pathetic makeshift shield.

“But, Akaaaashiii ~ my hands are so coooold ~!” Aaaand the whining was back.

“Stick your hands up your own shirt, then?”

“Akaashi. My hands are cold,” said Bokuto concisely, looking at Akaashi with a maddeningly incredulous expression. “If I put them under my shirt, I might as well take off my coat and lay in the snow…”

“Bokuto- “

“Oh c’mon, Akaashi, just for a second! You can warm back up really quick!”

“No, Bokuto.” Despite Akaashi’s insistence, Bokuto was advancing on him. “Bokuto, No! This is your own fault for not bringing gloves! Leave me alone!” And they were off. Using the bench as a protective barrier between them, they moved in sync from one end to the other, Akaashi tying to escape and Bokuto tying to head him off. In a flash, all in one movement, Bokuto had snatched the cup from Akaashi’s hand, set it on the bench and grabbed his Kohai’s now empty hand to pull him into his chest. There was a short-lived squabble in which Akaashi was trying to keep Bokuto’s hands out of his coat and nearly caught the larger man’s wrists but he slipped out at the last second.

“AAAAaaa!!” Oh wow, Bokuto was right… His hands were cold.

“See? Cold, right?” Bokuto’s grip on Akaashi’s sides tightened when the setter gripped his arms for dear life and began tugging and squirming to get away. “This is a lot warmer, though.” And when – god knows why – Bokuto trailed his hands up to his ribs and began rubbing them lightly up and down (for the warmth of the friction, he supposed), he panicked.

“Bokuto! Bokuto- no- please! L-let me go! Pleahese!” Shit.

Bokuto’s hands stopped and Akaashi froze.

“Are you laughing?”

“No.” Damn! That reply was way too quick.

“No, no you were- … Oh wait, I get it! Akaashi, you’re ticklish!” There was no room for refute in that statement; Bokuto had made that conclusion and the only way to change his mind was to physically prove him wrong. No chance of that happening, though. If he didn’t escape now, right now, Bokuto was going to tickle him and he was going to react like any ticklish person would. There was no helping that; he was ticklish after all. Very ticklish.

“Let me go!” he said rather than denying it. He struggled harder than ever when Bokuto rapped his arms around his waist and he was really starting to feel the threat now.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” Oh god, Akaashi could hear the excited grin in his voice and there was no way he was getting out of his gorilla arms. Still with his hands under his coat, Bokuto began softly kneading into his ribs. A choked giggle slipped through before he could stop it and his only defense now was to press his elbows into his sides, hoping to squish Bokuto’s wiggling fingers.

“No, please dohon’t!” Dammit, don’t laugh; this was so embarrassing.

“Oh c’mon, Akaashi, just laugh, will ya? How come I didn’t know about this, huh?” Akaashi was about to loose it. If this kept up much longer- oh…

“Haaaaha! W-wait- aaAAAhahahaaaa!” Bokuto had only been scribbling at the sides of his ribs as he held him like a human straight jacket, but now he had started rubbing deep circles into his ribs, adding the last straw to break the camel’s back and there was absolutely no chance at stopping the laughter now.

“Yeah, there ya go! And- and my hands are finally warming up! Wow you’re really ticklish, Akaashi! What about here?” Akaashi couldn’t tell if Bokuto was teasing him or just making conversation, but it was pretty hard to read the guy right now anyways; he was a bit preoccupied with something else.

“AH- NAHo! B-bokutohohohahahaa! Bohokuto- pleahese- NAHA!” No amount of squishing his elbows into his sides was going to stop the upward journey of Bokuto’s fingers. And now they were under his arms, wriggling tirelessly and driving Akaashi mad. He lunged forward like his life depended on it, twisting any way he could. Oh good, now he was crying, too… Holy hell it tickled so bad, thank god there was no one around!

“You’re so wiggly, Akaashi!” Bokuto was laughing too now. He had never seen Akaashi like this; lively and desperate. Sure he could get into it during a volleyball game, and if it wasn’t going well, he would get pretty high strung and snap occasionally, but this was different. Red-cheeked and teary-eyed while he laughed his heart out; laughing harder than Bokuto had ever heard him laugh before. He couldn’t help but laugh with him.

When he moved one hand down goose at his hip, Akaashi wheezed and lurched forward, slipping out of Bokuto’s grip a little and making the ace loose his balance.

“AhahaHAHAA! NAho NAHAT Thahahat! Bokuto, PLEAHEEEEhese!” Bokuto barked a laugh at Akaashi’s whiney plea. He added his other hand to his other hip and Akaashi squealed – a sound Bokuto never thought he would hear from his Kohai – before he wheezed himself into silent laughter, finally toppling out of Bokuto’s grip and falling onto the powdery snow on his hands and knees with Bokuto following. He was rolling in the snow, pawing weakly at Bokuto’s hands and completely unable to speak now when the torture suddenly stopped.

Akaashi opened bleary eyes to see Bokuto sitting crisscross in the snow, hands in his lap and grinning goofily down at him. Akaashi chuckled again, rolling onto his back and looking up into the sky with a goofy smile of his own.

“You suck.” Akaashi said, tipping Bokuto into a roaring laugh. “Are your hands still cold?” he asked, a teasing edge to his voice as he looked at Bokuto from the corner of his eye. There was a pause…

“Maybe…” he finally said with a grin Akaashi did not like.

“Wait- No!” Faster than he believed he could, Akaashi had jumped to his feet and took several steps back from his Captain who was now also climbing to his feet, still with that expression that Akaashi decided he definitely hated. “We- we still have shopping to do! This can- this can wait until later, Bokuto!” he shouted desperately when Bokuto started advancing on him. Bokuto laughed again.

“Later, huh? You’re right, we should finish getting the team gifts… but I’m gonna hold you to that ‘later’ thing.” He reached back to grab Akaashi’s not-so-hot chocolate and handed it to him with a clap on the back and a rather threatening wink before he lead the way back across the street to the shopping strip.

Feeling stunned, Akaashi stood there slack-jawed holding the nearly empty cup in his hand as he watched Bokuto’s retreating figure. He tipped the last of his cocoa down his throat, tossed it into the garbage bin and forced a steadying breath which he released in a terrified huff.

Shit. Maybe if he dragged the shopping out long enough, Bokuto would forget about this…

Shit.