#mermaid anatomy and reproduction

[aria0fgold]

Learning about snake and fish anatomy tonight lads. This is fun, am learning so many new things.

[ckret2]

Chapter 24 of human Bill Cipher being the Mystery Shack's extremely inconvenient prisoner, featuring: the Pines figuring out a way to chase off Bill's ex-girlfriend... who happens to be a giant eyeball with bat wings.

It kinda goes like this.

(A head's up before we get going: this chapter is a bit more mature than prior ones, so I feel like a warning's in order. There's no sex, and nothing here is erotic or sexy (unless you, too, happen to be attracted to eye-bats), BUT there IS some academic speculation on the logistics of alien sex, and some very filthy-sounding dialogue describing acts that, to humans, aren't sexual at all. Plus some dirty humor and toilet humor. And nothing here is what I'd call billford quite yet, considering Ford still very much hates Bill's guts—but like, he's definitely a little too obsessed with the anatomy of triangles for it to be normal. If any of this is too spicy for you, skip this chapter and come back next one. We'll be starting a new "episode" then.)

####

It was past midnight. In his search for the eye-bat repellant recipe, Ford had flipped through every notebook he'd used during his initial interviews of the residents of Gravity Falls, flipped through them a second time, torn apart half his bookshelves looking for any reporter's notebooks he might have accidentally sorted in with his larger binders, and now he was exhausted, frustrated—and, worst of all, bored out of his mind.

Which made it hard to avoid thinking about more interesting topics.

And for the last hour he'd been unwillingly plagued with the question of how an eyeball and a triangle had a "casual physical thing." 

If that didn't mean sex—and you never knew with aliens—then it was still something close enough to fill the same social/recreational niche. It certainly meant sex on the eye-bat's side, Ford had fully documented the reproductive cycle of eye-bats, that was sorted out—but triangles?

It had to be something that would work in the second dimension. Ford had visited a two-dimensional universe populated by geometric shapes, he knew roughly how their bodies functioned: a shape's perimeter was its external surface—its "skin"—and its internal organs were inside that perimeter. So if Bill was still configured the way he had been in his home dimension, any external reproductive anatomy would have to be somewhere on his perimeter, right? Maybe at one of his corners? Or camouflaged where the seams of his brick pattern reached his edges?

But then if Bill were a normal two-dimensional person, he'd have his eye on the edge of his body, not right in the center of his "internal organs." So he'd been rearranged to some extent. Who knew how the rest of his body worked now? His top hat contained flesh and a skeletal structure; maybe it was a removable reproductive organ that could be passed to a partner, like some cephalopods' detachable tentacles—

Ford flinched as he realized Bill was staring at him.

To aid in his anatomical speculation, Ford had drawn a diagram of Bill in his journal and labeled various points on the triangle that might be concealing reproductive anatomy. He quickly scratched out the drawing's staring eye and slammed his journal shut. 

He'd happily gone thirty years assuming that Bill had no sex life—Bill was an energy being who presented himself as a floating featureless triangle, his hobbies involved cheating at chess and discussing multidimensional transportation, he probably wasn't designed for "physical things," and if he was designed for it then surely he wasn't interested. Ford was not pleased to have his assumptions disputed.

Because the thing was—Ford knew more than any living human about the mating rituals of unicorns, werewolf/mermaid couples, stomach-faced ducks, and tentacled warrior piglets. (Did he ever know about tentacled warrior piglets.) He had the only photos of a gnome mating ball, which he didn't need, because that horrible sight would be forever seared into his long-term memory. He knew the names of twenty obscene acts in siren sign language, and knew how to use his extra fingers to make them extra obscene. This wasn't unfamiliar territory to him. He was curious about how strange, supernatural creatures functioned; and those functions included how the reproductive drive influenced their behaviors; and a living triangle that had escaped from the second dimension was certainly a strange supernatural creature.

But, unfortunately, it was also Bill Cipher. And Ford did not want to think about what Bill did in bed. ... Assuming he used a bed. Really, at this point the only thing Ford knew was that Bill's only admitted partner was capable of flight. Maybe he just hovered while he—

Ford slammed his journal shut again to stop himself from scribbling down more theories, then stuffed the journal in a desk drawer for good measure. Did normal people think like this? He had no idea. He didn't even know who he could ask.

Enough of this. Back to searching for that eye-bat repellant recipe, and this time he wasn't stopping until he found it.

####

Like a vast eye in an upside-down triangle, the circular center of the portal lit up so bright blue it was almost white. The four energy vents glowed in sympathy. A rainbow constellation lit up in twirling patterns around the central light.

Bill watched with bated breath, a second-dimensional shadow waiting for his door to the third dimension to open. The cavern walls shook; the ground quaked and rumbled ominously; Bill didn't care. The portal was stable, the lab was somebody else's problem, and Bill had a party to get to.

The steel beams supporting the cavern rolled like a wave, and Bill's stomach roiled with them. They weren't supposed to be able to move like that. But he knew what he was doing, the portal was stable, he was not here to destroy this world, he'd come here to save it, whether it wanted to be saved or not—

The whole world undulated. Bedrock and steel were not built to undulate. Bill bobbed on the energy wave like a toy boat on a choppy sea; but the steel shattered, rock crumbled, shrapnel and rubble sprayed out. There was a peal of deafening thunder as the world below him cracked apart.

####

Bill woke with a gasp.

Oh. Right. Dreams.

Dream diary. With a groan, he sat up, checked to make sure no humans were coming by in the next few minutes, and pulled his stolen journal out of its hiding place.

The guide on lucid dreaming had recommended writing down his dreams in full, vivid, rich detail—any people or scenes or events, anything he could detect with his five (?) senses, as much as he could recall.

He drew a portal—gray inverted triangle with a center circle, four circles around the triangle, all five circles filled in yellow green—and then a yellow green line trailing out of the portal's side that grew progressively wigglier like a seismogram. He labeled his doodle, "this." He'd remember the rest.

After a moment of thought, he wrote, "Don't remember if I was a human or a shape. My organs were doing things a shape's shouldn't." (He wrote "human" as 人; there was no translation for the word in the language Bill wrote in. The two angled strokes stood out in Bill's rows of Morse-like dots and dashes.) "Being around so many humans who are CONVINCED I'm trying to destroy their world must be getting to me. Sixer pitched another hissy-fit about the portal yesterday. Enduring all that negative talk can't be healthy for me. I know I'm just helping their boring little planet, but maybe their accusations are getting lodged in this stupid brain's subconscious."

Maybe he should meditate a bit—go think positive thoughts, drown out the mortal voices that insisted they knew his plans better than he did. He'd had enough dreaming for one night, anyway.

Beneath the note to himself, Bill added in English: "Everything would have been fine if you'd just let me finish, Fordsy." If the humans ever did find this journal, Bill was determined to get the last word in.

Then he stowed away the stolen journal and shuffled downstairs.

He wondered how much was left of Ford's portal.

####

Old man bladder. Stan dragged himself out of bed. The other guest room bed was empty. Stan hoped Ford was sleeping in his study—he'd mentioned once he kept a cot down there. Better than pulling another all nighter studying alien sorcery or whatever.

He skipped his glasses, groped his way to the downstairs bathroom, and, yawning, lined up with the toilet.

The toilet said, "Pretty forward of you, Stanley."

Stan screamed.

He stumbled backwards out of the bathroom and hit the wall. Bill flipped on the light and leaned out to grin at him. "Careful! You're due for a broken hip any day now."

"BILL! What are DOING!"

"Trying not to get urinated on."

"Jsh—shut up!" It had dawned on Stan that if he could hear Bill without his hearing aids, then half the house probably could too. He hoped no one had overheard that. "Why are you sitting on the toilet in the dark!"

"It's a free country, Stanley Pines."

Stan raised a fist. "GET OUT!"

Bill bolted from the bathroom like a scared rabbit, then caught himself, rolled his eyes, and raised his hands over his head in mock surrender. "You could have asked nicely!"

Pointing at Bill as he retreated, Stan added, "And stop being so darn creepy! Lurking in the dark and sneaking around silently all the time, like a... some kind of—burglar ninja assassin!"

Bill turned to shout back, "What, do you expect me to make a peace cry every time I walk around? Make sure I can't sneak up and stab you in the back?"

Stan had caught about half of that. "YEAH, smart guy! It might help!"

Bill flung his hands out in defeat as he rounded the corner.

Stan finished his business, went back to bed, and glared angrily at the ceiling another ten minutes.

####

It had taken half the night, but at last Ford had disassembled the filing cabinet and found a few notebooks that had gotten stuck behind the bottom drawer, including the one with Old Lady Sprott's eye-bat repellant recipe. Ford copied it down, left a list of ingredients on the gift shop cash register for Soos, and finally dragged himself into the house to sleep.

And paused in the entryway.

Bill was sitting in the kitchen, staring out the window; Ford had seen him like this before. Usually, he could make himself walk by.

But he couldn't tonight. Maybe it was yesterday's conversation still weighing on his mind, the loose ends they hadn't tied up tangling around his throat. "What are you doing up?"

Bill's voice was inappropriately calm: "Dying."

Ford's guard went up. "Do you... Literally or metaphorically?"

"Literally," Bill said. "Hey—how many decades do you think this body's got? Probably not even a century, right?"

Ford's guard went down. Just moping. But it was an interesting question, one he'd put some thought into himself—what age had Bill's body been made at? How had his body been made that age? How long would the body last? Ford had wondered whether studying Bill's freshly-made-but-already-adult body might reveal anything medically useful about how aging affected the human body; but the odds of convincing Bill to participate in any medical studies—much less finding someone to conduct the study who believed their story—were nonexistent.

Ford said, "At a loose guess, I'd put you around... fifty, maybe? A very spry fifty." Bill's hair was a shockingly vivid gold, not a hint of gray, and when he was in a good mood Bill bounced about with an enviable lack of joint pain; but Ford had seen faint, delicate creases around his mouth and eyes that spoke to age. And the look in his eyes... Ford hated the phrase "old soul"—he'd been called that by some of his school teachers, and it only made him feel the distance between himself and his age peers all the more strongly—but with Bill, it was uncannily fitting. His eyes aged his whole face.

"You think this thing looks fifty? Wow." Bill took a deep drink from a cider can. "Shooting Star's best guess was half that. Thanks for shoving me twenty-five years closer to the grave."

Half that? When Ford had been a child, he'd had a harder time guessing adults' ages, and he supposed Mabel might be the same; but it was difficult to mistake a 50-year-old for a 25-year-old. Maybe there was something else going on. He'd have to ask her later. "With exercise, a healthy diet, and a little luck, you could still live another fifty." Ford nodded at the two empty cider cans already sitting on the table. "With your current drinking habits, I'll give you five."

Bill cackled—loudly enough to make Ford tense up, afraid someone would catch them talking. "Cheers!" Bill finished off the can and slammed it down with the others. "Ugh. Finite lifespans. Awful."

"Welcome to being human," Ford said dryly.

"'Welcome to death row,'" Bill said. "Ha! What'm I doing, worrying about decades. Let's be real, I don't even need to worry about the next five years. If I haven't found a way out of this body before then..."

Bill left the thought unfinished. An uneasy weight formed low in Ford's stomach.

"Ah, whatever. Like you'd let me live that long. Right, Sixer?" Bill pushed himself up unsteadily, keeping his balance first with a hand on the back of the chair, and then on Ford's (suddenly very tense) shoulder as he passed him. "I'm going back to sleep before that last can kicks in."

The way Bill was walking, Ford wasn't sure he'd make it up the stairs. "Why don't you sleep on the folding bed in the living room?"

"No window," Bill said. "I've g—" (He stumbled on the stairs.) "I've gotta see the stars."

Of course he did. When Bill said it that way, it was so obvious Ford didn't know why he hadn't realized that himself. Where else could Bill sleep but as close to the sky as possible?

Ford listened as Bill stumbled his way upstairs, creaked across the floorboards, and collapsed onto his makeshift bed.

Ford had thirty years left. Exactly thirty years. Don't have a heart attack, you're not ninety-two yet! Ninety-two was a good, old age. Older than his father had been. But thirty years felt too soon. And yet it felt fitting, somehow, for his life to be divided so neatly in thirds.

If Bill lived another fifty years in this body, and Ford lived thirty, who would stand guard over him? Would he and Stan have to pass that burden on to their gniece and gnephew? Or to Soos and Melody?

Why was he wondering—what made him think they wouldn't find a way to kill Bill before then? What made him think he wouldn't kill Bill before the end of this very summer?

What made him so sure Bill hadn't been lying about when Ford would die? Thirty years felt too soon; but ninety-two felt flatteringly optimistic.

Ford sighed, and picked up the cider cans to recycle.

He wondered whether Bill—hiding from his ex, fretting about death, sleeping on his enemies' floor—regretted how he'd spent his life.

####

Bill's second entry in his dream diary started, "Wet dream about Iris."

He filled most of a page with an extremely graphic summary before he sighed in frustration, stowed the journal away, and stared at the ceiling as dawn crept in. Well. Terrific. He was pretty intimately familiar with how humans coupled, but he didn't have much practice with the solo act. Plus the humans would give him heck if they caught him at it. He'd just have to suffer.

So here he was, all riled up and nowhere to go.

Who else could he make miserable?

####

Stan was startled awake by a heavy pounding on his door.

"Heeey Fisherman!" Somehow, Bill's voice was even more grating at dawn. He rattled the door several more times. "Just passing by! Wanted to let you know! Here I am! Right here!"

Did that demon ever sleep? And, follow up question, could Stan knock him out for a few hours?

Ford—who must have come up after Stan went back to bed—groaned and muttered something.

Ford wasn't nearly as loud as Bill. Stan reluctantly sat up and put a hearing aid in. "What?"

"What the devil is he up to now."

"No idea," Stan lied. "Go yell at him about it, he listens to you."

Ford sighed, but got up and left the room.

A minute later, Stan heard Bill exclaim, "I can't win with you people!"

He smirked.

####

The kitchen reeked that morning. When Stan came in for breakfast, the window was open, a fan in the entryway futilely directed fresh air into the kitchen and a fan on the kitchen table directed the noxious fumes outside, there were bags of groceries on the counter—he noticed hot sauce, peppers, cheap perfume, and an entire bag of raw onions—and Ford was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of vile-smelling brown liquid. The moment he saw Stan, Ford put him to work stirring the pot so Ford could start dicing onions.

While they worked, Ford explained the situation with the eye-bat harassing the tourists and the solution he'd hit on to drive it away. Soos had collected the necessary ingredients this morning, but couldn't help cook because he was busy finding a way to block the bottomless pit—

####

Outside, Soos scooted a trampoline up to the pit, carefully lined it up with the edge—the trampoline and the pit had nearly the same diameter—and shoved it in. It plummeted into the dark. After a short wait, Soos chucked a baseball down the pit. It disappeared, then bounced back up.

Soos pumped his fist triumphantly. "Aced it."

####

—so, Ford was working on the repellant, and in the interest of public safety and the greater good he was drafting Stan into helping too.

Which Stan supposed he couldn't argue with, but considering the smell he would've preferred dicing the onions. "Is all this really necessary for one eye-bat? I usually just swat 'em off with a tennis racket."

"This eye-bat happens to be large enough to carry off a first-grader," Ford said. "And Bill claims it's his ex-girlfriend, so I don't want to risk them meeting."

"Huh." Weird thing to date, but then Stan didn't know what he did expect a triangle demon to date. "Somehow I figured he was tangled up in this."

Ford laughed ruefully.

After a moment of chopping and stirring, Ford said, "Speaking of Bill—he claims that you ordered him to announce his presence? And that you tried to pee on him."

"I did not and he's a dirty liar! He made the whole thing up!" Stan didn't expect Ford to believe him. Stan also didn't expect Ford to believe Bill. Ford knew they were both liars. What Stan expected was for Ford to side with the person he liked best.

"Uh huh." Ford didn't question Stan further. Ha. Pines solidarity.

Even though he'd already won, Stan went on: "All I did was mention how quiet he is! I can never tell where he's lurking. Sometimes I almost forget he's here." In Stan's mind, Bill had been rapidly demoted  from "active existential threat" to "annoying houseguest who blends in with the shadows." Watching him help Mabel cut pretty pictures from fashion magazines with plastic safety scissors drained away most of his intimidation factor.

Ford gave Stan a funny look. "Really? I can't forget he's here for a second. Sometimes I swear I can tell where he's been in the house—like a cold spot left by a ghost."

Stan tried to figure out how to ask whether that was a reaction to decades on the run feeling like hunted prey—which Stan knew how to cope with—or a lingering magical side effect of Ford and Bill's alien possession deal—which Stan did not. Then Ford added, "It's probably because I hear him bumping into the furniture all the time."

"Oh. Yeah. That's probably it. You've got better hearing than me." Case closed. Stan turned back to the stove—

A deafening buzz made them both start. Stan splashed boiling brown stink across the stovetop. "What—!"

Standing in the doorway with a kazoo, Bill said, "How's that, Stanley? Do you like that better?!"

"YOU!" Stan flung the stirring spoon to the floor.

Bill bolted from the room with Stan in hot pursuit. "Whoa! Mercy! Truce! You can have the kazoo! It's not even mine, I'm just holding it for a fr— Ow ow OW ow—"

Stan hauled Bill in by the back of the neck and didn't let go until he was in the middle of the kitchen. He pointed at the spoon, then pointed at the pot. "Pick it up. Get stirring." He grabbed another knife and joined Ford chopping onions. Whew, what a relief.

Bill gave Stan a perplexed look, but picked up the spoon, gave the pot an experimental sniff, and got stirring. He didn't even wince at the smell. "Is this the gnome wizz? What is this, punishment for not letting you use me as a urinal?"

"Whatsamatter, I thought you were the one who thinks pee belongs in the kitchen."

"You're both too old for toilet humor," Ford snapped. "Bill, this problem is your fault, the least you can do is help prepare the spray, and you're not getting a knife, so you're on pot stirring duty. Deal with it."

Bill rolled his eyes dramatically. (At the moment, they were both uncovered; but one was already half squinted shut against the morning light.) "Fine, but only because I like hanging out with you."

Ford scoffed.

"And I don't see how this is my fault just because we happened to date. It's not like I invited her over," Bill went on. "If anything, you should be grateful she's my ex, or else I wouldn't be helping you chase her away—"

"Hey, that's what I wanna know about this," Stan said. He gestured toward the window; the ex in question was currently circling above the gift shop entrance, like a vulture waiting for something to die. "Exactly how do you 'date' an eye-bat? Just—how does that work?"

"Well, it depends on the eye-bat, doesn't it," Bill said, a touch patronizing. "They don't all have the same tastes, you know. But she happens to like art films and water parks. Easy date."

"I'm not talking about that! You're telling us you slept with an eyeball with bat wings—right? That's what we're talking about, right?" From the corner of his eye, Stan saw Ford giving him a sharp look, but he didn't tell Stan to stop. Yeah, the nerd was curious, too.

"Yes, Stanley." Bill's condescension was almost more overpowering than the kitchen's stench. "That's what we're talking about. I 'slept' with an eyeball with bat wings." He exaggerated the finger quotes around the euphemism. "Any more prying you want to do into my personal life, or...?"

"You look at that freak out there and think it's appealing?"

Bill stopped stirring and squinted out the window. Flatly, he said, "Yep. She's still drop dead gorgeous. Thanks for asking." 

"How do you even know that's a she! How can you tell a girl eye from a boy eye?"

Ford said, "Technically, Stanley, all eye-bats are female." He held up an onion and used his knife tip to gesture at it like it was a model eyeball, "They're parthenogenetic parasites that reproduce by attacking other species' faces and depositing egg-bearing spores on their eyeballs, which swim to the tear ducts to begin incubating. Over the next few weeks, the infected eyeball grows wings and develops its own nervous system while the host slowly goes blind in one eye, until the new eye-bat is mature enough to emerge from the host's socket and seek out her mother's colony—"

Bill let out a strangled scream. "Enough!"

Stan and Ford stared at him.

"Would you stop talking about eye-bat sex?! I'm already riled up! I don't need help making it worse!"

He slammed the stirring spoon down and started pacing. "I'm losing my mind. Do you know what it's like to be randy for something you don't have the right body for?!" He gave them a pleading, slightly crazed look. "I need to feel her pupil contracting against mine. I'd lick her hot, salty tears off her sclera. I'd bite deep enough to taste her retina. I want to look like I've got pinkeye from all the bat spores coating my face. I'd give my right eye just to have one of her wings fingering my eyelid again—but if I cave and go that far I know I'd lose my head and give her the left one too, and then I've screwed up, because STUPID HUMANS BODIES can't regrow their STUPID EYEBALLS—"

He kicked the wall so hard he lost his balance and stumbled back into the stove. "Ow. I'm going insane. I can't take it. I need to kill somebody. I need to set something on fire."

Stan and Ford were petrified. Stan's jaw had dropped.

Bill was panting from the exertion of his outburst, arms trembling, face flushed. His shoulders slumped. The picture of a broken man, he said, "I'd do anything to rim her optic nerve again."

Ford let out a strangled noise.

Bill took several deep breaths. He rubbed his forehead. "Sorry! Wow. That was... I think the fumes are getting to me." He shook his head. "The fumes and the hormones. Human hormones. You know, your species has very insistent..." He gestured vaguely toward the doorway. "I'm—think I should lay down."

Stan and Ford nodded. Bill trudged from the room. A few seconds later, Stan heard springs creak as Bill flopped his full weight on the living room sofa.

Stan and Ford exchanged a look. Stan said, "I shouldn't have asked about..."

"You shouldn't have asked."

"You should have skipped the science lesson."

"I should have."

They lapsed into silence. After a moment, Ford stood up to take over stirring the pot.

Stan resumed chopping onions. "Say, d'you think he staged all that to get out of stirring?"

Ford didn't reply.

"Sixer?" Stan glanced up.

Ford had turned away from the stove, and was staring at nothing with a faraway, troubled look. It was the look he got when he'd just latched on to some mystery that would haunt him until he solved it.

"Ford—?"

Ford slapped down the spoon and stomped into the living room. "But you hate losing your eyeball! So how did you two— I mean—! The spores—?"

"Incompatible biology." Bill's voice sounded muffled. "It's why we never got serious. She wants kids and my tear ducts can't incubate wings."

"Ah! Of course. That makes perfect sense." Ford returned to the stove with a look of triumph.

Stan didn't know how Ford had recovered from that fast enough to ask follow-up questions. Weird nerd. Stan shook his head but said nothing.

####

In Ford's journal, he scratched out most of his speculation about the anatomy of Bill's species, scribbled over the diagram, and added, "I severely underestimated how much his eye is involved."

####

At one point, during Weirdmageddon, when Bill had been torturing Ford for information, Ford had spat in his eye. Bill had licked it off. He'd seemed eerily undisturbed.

Ford would probably wonder how Bill had interpreted that act for the rest of his life.

####

Outside, dressed in a homemade hazmat suit consisting of painter's coveralls and a scuba mask, Soos faced off against the eye-bat, a spray bottle strapped to each hip like a cowboy's revolvers. Dipper and Mabel stood behind him, armed with a rake and a golf club, wearing a bicycle helmet and a football helmet with tree branches taped on. The eye-bat stared them down warily.

Leaning on his elbows over the kitchen table so he could stare out the window, Bill said, "Bet you a hundred bucks she steals Questiony's hat."

Stan snorted. "I'm not taking that bet. You don't have any money."

Bill grunted and turned back to the window, just in time to see the eye-bat dive for Soos's face. Soos whipped out one of the spray bottles, dropped it, ducked down to retrieve it just as she swooped past where his head used to be, and lifted it in time to spray the eye-bat when she circled back to attack him again. She reeled off screeching, eye watering, pupil contracting. Bill winced in sympathy. Poor gal. And she didn't even have an eyelid for protection. But, hey—better for her to suffer than for Bill to risk getting caught in this body. He'd take someone else's pain over his own embarrassment any day.

"It seems to be working the same as it does on any other eye-bat," Ford said. "Good. Once she's gone, Soos and the kids can spray the rest on the roof. That should drive her off while keeping the worst of the scent away from the tourists."

Streaming tears, the eye-bat dove at the kids. They yelled in alarm. Dipper threw his rake at her and missed. Bill flipped up his eyepatch to squint at the battle with both eyes.

"What, do you see something?" Stan asked.

"Just appreciating her sphericality." Bill sighed wistfully. "That spray's gotta be excruciatingly painful—but, I've never seen her that wet before. Sure, we've fooled around with a little hot sauce a few times, but even then—"

"I'm sorry I asked."

Outside, Soos shouted, "Hey! My hat! Give that back!"

Bill wordlessly held a hand out toward Stan.

Stan smacked it away. "Nyeh."

As the eye-bat retreated toward the forest, Ford sighed in relief. "She's gone. It worked."

"You sound surprised," Bill said.

"Frankly, I can't believe that you gave us accurate information on how to get rid of her."

"What! You wound me! Why would I lie about that?"

"To trick us into doing something that strengthens her? To arrange an opportunity to meet her?" Ford suggested. "After all, as one of your Henchmaniacs, she could have helped you escape."

Bill's blood ran cold.

She could have helped him escape. SHE COULD HAVE HELPED HIM ESCAPE! He'd been so worried about not looking stupid or losing his eyes, when all this time—! He could have signaled Iris from the window, and—and the bottomless pit was right there, she could have carried a message to the gang—at the very least, she could probably open doors for him—and instead he just—when he could have—

He watched in despair as Iris's pretty little optic nerve vanished behind the trees.

No, Bill decided—no, getting her help was a terrible plan. If it was a good plan, he would have done it; so it was terrible. He had a better plan. What was his better plan?

"Come on, you think I need her? I've got all the pals I need right here—whether you're ready to admit it or not." He elbowed Ford. Bill had decided he'd wheedle Ford back over to his side, and he would. His survival depended on it. Now more than ever. "I've got a way out, don't worry about that—it's only a matter of time—and she's not part of the plan."

Ford scoffed. "Really. Last night you were moaning about being on death row."

"Wh—Hey! That was..." Not fair. He scrambled to revise his story.

"You're lying about something," Ford said. "If it wasn't how to get rid of her, then it was why you wanted to get rid of her. For all we know, maybe she wants you dead as much as we do."

"Yeah," Stan said, "the 'girlfriend' story sounds crazy enough to be true, but you seem like the kind of guy who has a string of exes who'd love to kill you." (He did, as it happened, but it wasn't his fault he kept falling for petty jealous psychos who hated seeing him thrive.)

Ford said, "If she hadn't been a danger to the tourists, perhaps I should have invited her in to talk."

Unbelievable. Even when Bill did exactly what he was supposed to, he was still the bad guy. "Fine, she was a notorious black widow and you saved my life, happy? Do you like that story better? I made it up just for you." He jabbed a finger in Ford's shoulder. "You know what your problem is? You're too paranoid. You can't trust anything anybody says. You'll only hurt yourself like that—"

Ford shoved Bill's hand away and stepped out of poking range. "I spent years unlearning the paranoia you gave me. And when I finished, do you know what I figured out, Bill? All along, there was only one person I shouldn't have trusted: you."

It stung, but only in a distant, impersonal way; like a hard slap on a numb cheek. Bill turned to give Ford a sour look. "At the lengths you take it to, I could tell you the sky is blue and you'd have to check."

Ford's gaze automatically flickered toward the window.

"Ha!" Bill angrily shoved the table against the wall as he stood up. "Thanks for taking care of my pest problem, boys." He stormed upstairs, flipping his hood up as he went. Ingrates.

####

The view out the attic window was more interesting than usual, mainly because there were three humans traipsing around on the roof spraying eye-bat repellant. From time to time Mabel came by to make funny faces at Bill through the glass; he did his best to one-up them. Once, Soos nearly fell off the roof and died; Bill hadn't laughed that hard since he was murdered.

Their return indoors was heralded by Mabel shouting, "Dibs on the shower!" and Dipper replying, "I take shorter showers, let me go first!" They pounded up the stairs. Mabel tried to take them two at a time, tripped near the top, and by the time she recovered Dipper was already in the bathroom. She groaned. "Augh! Not fair! I don't want to smell like onions and gnome pee!"

"Neither do I! I need it more, I haven't showered in two weeks!"

Bill wondered why Dipper got to go so long between showers without getting dumped in a cold tub in his sleep. (He knew why.)

Bill whistled to catch Mabel's attention. "Consolation prize." He waved a cheap perfume bottle toward Mabel. "We had leftovers after mixing the repellant. It smells like strawberry candy."

"You're my hero." Mabel took the bottle and sprayed it all over herself, in her hair, and under her sweater. "You need a shower too, you know."

"Sure, but until Dolores fumigates the kitchen I'll just blend into the background stink. I can put it off til tomorrow without anyone complaining."

"You're grossss." Mabel emphasized the hiss by poking Bill's arm. "Once I'm clean, I'm not talking to you until you've showered too."

"I'll be devastated."

"Those are my terms!" She kicked aside Bill's cushion-bed so she could sit under the window without stinking the cushions up, and settled back to wait for the bathroom. After a (very short) companionable silence, Mabel said, "It's too bad we had to chase off your ex. I can see why you like her."

Bill gave her a surprised look. "Can you?"

"Iris was so graceful!" Mabel said. "And murderous, but mostly graceful. Like an evil swan."

Bill laughed. "Yeah! Yeah, she is. Floats like a dream. If you think she's graceful in the air, you oughta see her in the pool. She's the only person I know who can make a cannonball look elegant."

Mabel gave him a sly grin.

"What?"

"Look at you. Yooou still like heeer." Mabel propped her elbows on the edge of the window seat and balanced her chin in her hands. "How did you meet Iris?"

For the last couple of days, almost everyone in the house had talked about Bill's ex like she was some kind of malevolent creature, rather than a person. He was used to outsiders talking about his friends that way—heck, most of his friends were malevolent creatures—but it grated all the same. (He missed home.) Just hearing Mabel call Iris by her name was a breath of fresh air. No one else had even asked if she had a name.

"I met her at a party," Bill said. "I'd just gotten a piano and was showing off, and she came by to ask about Earth music. She wasn't in my crew then—but the party was open invite, and everyone in that corner of the Nightmare Realm knew that if you wanted info on Earth, you came to Bill Cipher. So, we talked about waltzes and tarantellas, I played a little Beethoven, we hit things off..."

They talked until the bathroom was free and Mabel went to shower. Sweet kid. Hopeless romantic, though.

When Bill got out of this place, he was gonna find the first boy who would break her heart and kill him before they could meet. It was the least he could do for her.

####

The third entry in Bill's dream diary: "Shooting Star's cartoon is getting to me. I dreamed about the wolf and the cat arguing over who had to host someone's birthday party. The wolf refused to let guests into his enormous mansion, but the cat's house was burning down. They asked me how to resolve this. I told them the cat should execute the wolf as punishment for his inhospitality, take over his mansion, and wear his skin as the party host. The animals were so in awe of my wisdom that I was deified as god of the jungle."

That was not what he'd dreamed. The animals were so horrified at his suggestion that they'd tied him to a stake and forced him to watch as they threw the cat into the flames of her own house. He couldn't remember whether he'd dreamed that he was a triangle or a human.

He preferred his version. Once he'd regained control over his dreams, he could replay this one and make it end properly.

He'd get the hang of this in no time.

####

(You're legally required to tell me if you had a reaction to this one. Even if it's horror. Especially if it's horror.)

[sh1-n0bu]

I agree so bad we really need more sub monsters!

Like a mermaid/merman getting dragged onto land and could only flop around, while their lover stares at them with a cruel smirk, before flipping them on their back and-

can i add my thoughts abt merfolk anatomy???? pls????????

okay—

so, i like to think of merfolks’ reproductive anatomy as lowkey similar to my dragon fic one. there would be a slit/vent at the front on their tail, around where a humans pussy/cock would usually be so u can like imagine it as a bit down where their tail meets their human half. its hidden and closed at all times to keep it protected but it can loosen and would show itself when aroused. mermaids would be just a vent similar to human vagina, while mermen would have their cocks tucked inside yknow??? just a thought COUGH COUGH

[ohimsummer]

OBVIOUS?? I DID NOT KNOW MERFOLK EAT HUMAN PEOPLE HELP??);&:&

OMG NO I MEANNTTT 😭 us, as in... our... coochie 😞

okay bf i go further detail into a hc of mine about this—yesss, i think little fishies are reasonable and seaweed food for them. i can see merman!satoru being like "fish are friend, not food... until i'm hungry 😁" and i agree w the hunting bigger types of fish like sharks. it's a way to show his dominance 😈 he's alpha like that

anyway, about us being the obvious food !! (yapping activate) — i hc merfolk don't really eat the pussy equivalent of mermaids, bc anatomy and stuffff. i don't think it's possible, or like just reallyyyy difficult to get around w, but mostly the former

soooo, imagine merman!satoru's surprise when u tell him humans can 'eat out' women and he's like "humans what 😧!?". once u explain it to him, u teach and let him try to do it w u

next thing u know, u've accidentally created a monster. he's damn addicted to it and u can't even be mad bc he's so good at it. ofc he is, u taught him after all !! 😍

sorry for yapping so much, um... have a good day, snookums <333

OH….yeah yeah I….i knew that…….🌚

PLS merman! satoru thinks little fishies are cute but he also Torments Them…chasing them down in the water (for them it’s a high-speed chase and for him it’s more like…whatever their version of a brisk walk is) he out here cornering the fish n got em scared for their lives just to be like ‘nahh I’m just messing with ya 😼or am I….NAHHH I’m kidding I’m kidding….👀” he is a menace both on land and in water 😭

him and merman! suguru out here tussling with sharks for fun as kids…do you guys know that lion king scene when they’re in the elephant graveyard and then the hyenas chase after simba and nala. okay that has happened to merman! stsg because they were some BAD ASS LIL GUPPIES IN PLACES THEY SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN‼️exploring a whale graveyard and got caught by some sharks. satoru was beefing with sharks for years after that smh

I forgot where I saw it but I am stealing the idea—female merfolk have their mermussy as like, a slit on the front ? Sort of like in the area where the coochie would be but it’s on the front (I am going to say also well-disguised with scales so their mermussy isn’t just. Obviously Out 🌚. idk. maybe they only use them for reproduction and not really for pleasure. idk 😭)

ORAL WILL BE HIS DRUG!!! I am imagining merman! satoru with a slightly longer tongue so whewwww….yes he is a PRO!!!! might not even really know what he’s doing but his tongue is long and able to get some REACH so it doesn’t matter. he’s waiting for you at the dock every time you come to visit him. You’re trying to get info about merfolk life and he’s just rushing through the questions because he knows you’ll let him eat you out at the end.

[foone]

The City of Towers is the most holy city for the followers of Our Silent Mother, with many of the religion's nunneries and monasteries* located there. The whole area has long considered holy ground, so since the third century onward it's been forbidden for there to be men within the city.

This was actually law since the founding of the city shortly before the passing of Our Silent Mother, but it's only been enforced since the late third century. The spell was cast in 257 AM, and the four centuries of worship since has reinforced it to the point where it's as strong as laws of nature (or stronger, as any decent magic user can find ways to bend or break those.)

But those who have never visited The City of Towers often misunderstand the nature of the edict. It's not "men may not enter the city", like there's a border guard checking your passport at the city wall**.

No, the specific wording and meaning of the rule is that "no one within the city may be a man". So if you enter the city as a man, you'll stop being one for the duration of your visit.

The effect is usually temporary, though the longer you stay in the city, the longer it takes to wear off. Many sisters of the assorted orders in the city have taken trips away from it for many months without any gender reversion effects.

Also, it's a common misunderstanding that the city will always turn men into women: not actually true! There are many non-binary residents of the city, and the similarly any non-binary visitors will not be affected by the city's rule. Whether the city turns any given male visitor into a woman or an enby for the duration of their stay is up to the individual and while it's not necessarily predictable, it's never truly surprising.

Also, the rule has no effect on members of monogendered races like Dragons and (ironically) lizardmen. Even though they, as a race, all use he/him pronouns and reproductive anatomy similar to AMAB humans, they won't be turned into "lizard women", as such a thing doesn't exist. (and obviously monogendered races that are "female", like mermaids and skydoves***, will have no issues)

In any case, male visitors to the city need not worry about their longterm gender. Short visits wear off within hours, and the city is very welcoming to visitors unexperienced with being a woman. It is considered somewhat gauche**** to walk around in public in "male" clothing, but there are several charities in the city who will provide appropriate clothing to any visitors for a small donation.

For those who have strict religious, dietary, or personal gender history reasons to need to avoid the effects of the towns Gender Edict, the small settlement of Forever's Landing is located a short distance outside the city (and spell's) limits, and has many inns and pubs for male members of your group to hang out while the rest visit the holy city*****.

But enjoy your stay at the City of Towers. May Our Silent Mother watch over and protect you.

* the distinction between monasteries and nunneries in a city where there are no men is a complex one that has caused endless theological argument. After seven centuries of debate, the most certain answer anyone has been able to come up with is "nunnery is easier to spell"

** naturally, as the City of Towers has no walls. The loving embrace of Our Silent Mother is open to all. And no enemy has been foolish enough to lay siege to the city since the One Day War of 317 AM.

*** you may think this name is redundant, but earthdoves would disagree, if any had survived the Wing Wars. The skydoves maintain their name in recognition of their history of triumph over their distant cousins.

**** There's no law against male clothing, of course, but it's considered somewhat rude and antisocial. You may not be allowed into a temple to pray, or a tavern may not serve you. And you can forget about being admitted into any of the cities nightclubs****** or polite society mixers.

***** for reasons understood only to them, Forever's Landing is very popular with lizardmen. Even though the city's law has no effect on them, they prefer to stay outside of it when possible. Although the city was founded by humans, there has always been a small lizardmen population within the city, even during both of the wars (as The City of Towers and nearby environs were declared neutral and this was accepted and respected by all three sides*******)

****** yes, even drag nightclubs. The City naturally has a thriving drag scene. It's long been known in The Union that The City of Towers is the ultimate destination for all top-class drag kings.

******* those three sides being: humans (and allied races), lizardmen (and allied races), and the moon********.

******** this isn't a footnote about the moon*********, just a realization that these footnotes are getting very hard to manage. Perhaps I should have used superscript numbers instead of asterisks? It's entirely possible I have mixed up the footnotes. I'm doing this on mobile so it's hard to check.

********* the moon lost the first great war, and won the second, which helped lead to the lasting human-lizardman peace.

[sea-lanterns]

Wait.. if siren/mermaid y/n was in heat, how will the pirates satisfy her? Dont mermaids/sirens have a tail🤨

Two options!

1. Magic! She gets legs when above water for too long, which in turn gives her the typical human reproductive organs and anatomy.

2. I saw a post on this, but imagine if whenever the mermaid/siren is aroused enough, their sexual organs pretty much slip out from their tail for mating. Their reproductive organs would be located below the surface of their scaled-skin, and only be shown when they are aroused (it’s located in the general area where human genitals are also located) so it’s possible for humans and mermaid/sirens to mate!

So yeah, two options. Personally I prefer the second one cuz it’s more interesting and I still get to fuck a mermaid 🥰

[fyodior]

Im so curious if we just ride fyodor because he has no idea what sex is, but then again, he probably fucked with other mermaids before right? This can’t be the first time he discovers his two dicks. Or does he even know what he’s doing and fucks us, despite how awkward and clumsy he is on land? So many possibilities… idk if I prefer to straddle him, pinning him to the sand and having him writhe beneath me, a little scared and confused about what’s happening to him, or if he sees (and smells) a human pussy for the first time and wants to stick his dicks in there so badly he’s crying and flapping his tail so eagerly trying to top me.

anon u and i are literally making out rn thank u for kickstarting my brain and helping me to think more about this. i guess this gets kind of spoilery of tidal temptations so if u truly just wanna go into it blind i’ll put this under a cut cuz this is me discussing ideas/plans hehe

i think (??) i mention this briefly in ch1 but fyodor is a super loner. like he’s been alone most of his life in the sea, never really spent time with anyone/anything else. he’s only just hunted and roamed the sea and explored, not much else. he’s seen lots of things and lived an enriched life for sure, just…alone. so no, he’s never fucked around with others of his kind because he’s just been alone. i kind of wanted to use reader as his like…. sexual awakening. the first time he truly gets turned on and finds interest in sex/reproduction, and i think he gets a little obsessive with it.

so the first “sexual” scene is one where reader is just letting him touch their body. they have female anatomy so just letting him touch their pussy and explore purely nonsexually, but you can’t help but get turned on so you teach him how to really touch you.

the first time you truly fuck, yes, you’re on top, so you can kind of lead the way cuz obvi he’s clueless. its awkward and clumsy bc he’s not human, and he’s a little scared and confused, but yea. trying to shove both cocks inside you. its hot. cough cough

im in the air about this but i was thinking, and you kind of said something similar, but like him having this sexual awakening with reader and becoming like fucking sex crazed and flapping his tail at the scent of human pussy, and i want to have a dubcon moment. fyodor forcing himself on reader because he can’t help himself, he’s an animal after all, and reader being unable to stop him. can i ask your thoughts on this??

i implore you to ask other questions because this is helping me immensely LMAO

[daisys-reality]

𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬

- A COLLECTION OF POSTS MADE BY @DAISYS-REALITY -

❂ 𝕬𝖓𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖆𝖘𝖐𝖘

In this section you can find all the ask/questions I received here. All of them are also always tagged with the hashtag #t.asks .

☆ Mermaid dr ask one (anatomy) and two (reproduction & diet) + further mermaid dr asks one and two

☆ Does your mind(set) need to be positive? How can you change your mindset?

☆ Do you think I'll make it?....

☆ How do I get more In touch with my intuition?

☆ i've been trying to manifest but something in my mind keeps putting a block. do you think i'll make it? i'm having problems as to how to manifest like affirmations or subliminals....

☆ i've seen that in every tarot pick a card there's a word "reality shifting", can you please explain what's reality shifting and does that it make your readings different?

☆ how do i make a state feel natural to me? and how do i deal with intrusive thoughts?

☆ do i do exchange readings? + shoutout to another shifting tarot reader

☆ how do i do my tarot readings

☆ i just wanted to ask if listening to subliminals a sin?

☆ when I listen to subs, do I have to listen 92722882 times a day? And can I listen to multiple different subs? Does it “slow the process”?

☆ how do I politely/lovingly say no and decline their request?...

☆ how do i make sure i get my complete manifestation and not a part of it? i don't want movement...

☆ do your DR readings also apply to the future, for those of us who don't have intentions on shifting/don't shift?

☆ how do i request a tarot reading?...

☆ do you still take tarot reading requests?

☆ what happens to someone's family when they shift? do we leave them energetically?

☆ after two years I still don't understand what shifting is or what it requires...

☆ as someone who practices divination techniques, how do you see the law of assumption and reality shifting? || + part two

☆ i'm wondering if shifting can be for my own reality? for example not when im sleeping i can change my hair color etc??

☆ i don’t feel comfortable with astral projecting, lucid dream, or entering the void. will i enter those places on accident or unintentionally when I try to shift?

☆ have you ever dealt with jealousy? (law of assumption)

☆ supernatural powers vs. shifting and manifesting

☆ can we manifest time travel?

☆ dreams and signs related to the 3rd eye chakra (reality shifting)

☆ waiting for desires is not living in the end?

☆ living in the end and waking up with all desires

☆ how to embody the state of consciousness as someone who already has their desires?

☆ cycles of doubts and overthinking

☆ does inducing a specific brainwave help to manifest faster?

☆ struggles with negative thoughts and visualization

☆ struggles with feeling trapped and hopeless

☆ what advice would you give to someone who's trying to figure out what they want? (manifesting)

☆ transgender/lgbtq+ vs. religious beliefs/spirituality/law of assumption

☆ is reality shifting like a dream or are you actually awake? how does that work?

☆ i heard that you can talk to your higher self while you're in a void state. are you also planning to?

☆ is it supposed to be so uncomfortable? (void state)

☆ do you have any advice on how to figure out what we exactly want? (manifesting)

☆ would you ever cheat on a kpop idol? (i know that was so random)

☆ cheating in this generation's dating culture

☆ can you let me know if the next time I shift will be a success?

❂ 𝕺𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖘

Here you can find some of my original posts... I guess. This is pretty random, I mainly chose those that could be interesting for you guys!

☆ a guide to scripting (reality shifting)

☆ manga moodboard

☆ law of assumption memes, law of assumption memes

☆ law of assumption vs. tarot/astrology spirituality

☆ reality shifting memes

☆ mini shifting imagine (CR lover), mini shifting imagine (animal crossing DR), mini shifting imagine (prison life), mini shifting imagine (anime x astrology),

☆ fantasy moodboard (reality shifting)

☆ gregory peck moodboard (old hollywood crush)

☆ working on self concept

☆ show yourself how trustworthy your are

☆ if you don't know how your ideal life should look like

☆ don't let other people confuse you

☆ fashion moodboard

☆ affirmation of the day

☆ fear of change and victim mindset

☆ mermaid DR moodboards: xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx, xxx

☆ screenshots from my pinterest

☆ me doing dumb but fun quizzes lol: xxx (deity), xxx (mystery novel), xxx (greek god lover), xxx (kpop type), xxx (underutilized spn angel), xxx (y/n stereotype), xxx (not your love language), xxx (colors), xxx (naruto villain), xxx (villainous woman from greek mythology),

☆ cute tattoo ideas 🤍 || + part two

[sea-owl]

Hello, I was wondering how would Portia and Violet do the deed? Or like is Portia's mermaid tail sensitive to touch? And if it is Violet probably won't keep her hands off her tail 🫠

Think dolphin reproductive anatomy, and that's what I based my mermaid anatomy on when it comes to the tail.

But yes, the area around it would be very sensitive, and Violet almost got wacked with Portia's tail the first she accidentally touched it. Of course, there's always the option for them to go at it while Portia is in her leg form, and then it kinda converts to human biology because magic.

Between the two of them, I like to think that while yes, Portia is the scary warrior queen, Violet takes the lead in their bedroom activities. Violet service tops Portia so hard. Being in the water is their favored one. More often than not, Portia will balance Violet on her tail. This suits Violet just fine because now she's closer to hear all the musical notes she can pull out of Portia. More often than not, she'll call their fun times music practice.

[lyranova]

Yuneva Little Mermaid AU, for you 💚

Hiya Little fan 🥰! Of course, and I actually started working on this the moment it showed up in my askbox abwjwjs. This is actually the second fic I wrote with this AU in mind, the first one actually came out as more of a first chapter to a series and is at 4.8k words sooo…that one I’ll have to post seperately 🤭. But I hope you enjoy~!

Word Count: 2,336

Warnings: Vague reference to how different humans and merpeoples anatomies are 😅?

————

Neva gasped as she raised her head above the water and looked around wildly. She wasn’t in the Sea Witch’s cave anymore; instead she seemed to be on some sort of beach…

“ Isn’t this… the beach that Prince Yuno comes to?” She wondered as she took in the sights, smells, and sand beneath her fingers and toes.

Wait, toes?

Neva blinked and suddenly looked down; instead of seeing her purple tail, she saw a pair of human legs.

It worked…it really worked!

“ I can’t believe it, I’m a human!” Neva thought in excitement as a smile appeared on her face. “ I have toes, feet, ankles, legs, thighs…I’m really a human!”

She had to admit; there was a part of her that had thought that the Sea Witch, Vanica, was full of it when she told her that she could turn her into a human. But as she wiggled her toes and raised her leg, she realized how wrong she was!

“ Oh my, what do we have here?” A voice called from above, causing Neva to look up.

Circling above her was a seagull, who also happened to be a friend of hers, named David. The young bird flew down towards her and landed on her knees.

“ Well if it isn’t the diamond of the sea, Princess Neva!” David said cheerfully as he looked at the young woman.

“ Hm, something seems different about you,” David muttered as he stared at her, a hand rubbing his chin as he thought about it. “ But what could it be? Your hair? Nah. Your…teeth? Nope that’s not it either.”

Klaus sighed in irritation, and he couldn’t stop himself from facepalming.

“ Legs. The girl has legs, you idiot!” Klaus shouted. “ Neva traded her voice to the Sea Witch for a chance to become human!”

“ Ooh, that’s what’s different!” David said as he looked down and noticed Neva’s legs that he was perched on. “ They look great on you kid!”

Klaus grabbed a stone and threw it at the bird, effectively hitting him on the back of the head.

“ What did you do that for?!”

“ Because apparently you don’t understand how dire this situation is!” Klaus said seriously as he glared at the bird. “ Neva sold her voice to the Sea Witch, and now she has three months to get the Prince to fall in love with her in order to keep her legs!”

“ What’ll happen to her if she fails?” David asked hesitantly.

“ If she fails, she’ll be turned back into a mermaid and she’ll lose her voice forever!”

David gasped at the crabs words.

“ Oh this is bad.”

“ You think?!”

As the crab and the seagull bickered, Neva rolled her eyes and shook her head; this wasn’t really the time or place for this. But what could she do? She couldn’t tell them to stop since her voice was gone.

“ Maybe I should try to stand up?” She thought with a small frown. She placed her hands at her sides, pushed up and off the ground.

Her legs began to quiver, and she began to wobble one way and then another as she tried to walk. Eventually she reached out and braced herself on a nearby boulder, a huff of annoyance escaping her as she glared down at her trembling legs.

Walking was a lot harder than she initially thought!

“ First things first; we need to find the Princess some clothes! Because if she tries to meet the prince looking like this, then I’m pretty sure she’ll end up spending the next three months behind bars for indecent exposure!” Klaus said quickly as he averted his gaze, Neva looked down.

Ah that was right, humans and merpeople were anatomically different; at least when it came to their reproductive organs. A mermaids was hidden by their tails, while a human had to cover theirs up with what Klaus called ‘clothing’.

“ Pfft that won’t be a problem! Just give me a few minutes and I’ll find the best dress in this entire kingdom for our Neva!” David said quickly before flying away towards the kingdom, Klaus sighed heavily and shook his head.

“ I have a bad feeling about this.”

———

A few minutes later

“ Well, what do you think? It’s pretty nice right?” David asked with a proud smile. Klaus groaned and once again facepalmed.

‘Nice’ wouldn’t be the word Neva would use to describe this…dress?

It was a loose, purple colored fabric that was wrapped awkwardly around her with white rope tied around it in order to keep it from slipping off.

This…this wasn’t like the beautiful dresses that she had seen other humans wear…

“ What do you think?” Her purple eyes asked Klaus hesitantly, but he just shook his head.

“ It’s not the best, but it’ll have to do for now,” He said in dismay. Neva felt her shoulders slump slightly in disappointment.

Would the Prince feel the same way once he saw her?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the beach, was Prince Yuno and his loyal sheepdog Belle. The two were running around playing as they normally did, when she suddenly stopped.

“ Belle, what is it?” He asked with a frown as he began walking over to her. “ Did you hear something?”

But before Yuno could reach her, Belle turned around and began to run quickly down the beach. The young man cursed under his breath before he ran after her.

Back behind the boulders; Neva, Klaus, and David were all discussing where to find Prince Yuno, and how to approach him, when suddenly a flash of gold flew around the boulder and looked at them.

Everyone stopped moving for a moment and just stared at each other to see who was going to make the first move; when the creature suddenly took a deep breath and rushed towards the trio.

“ Neva, run!” Klaus shouted as he ran off towards the ocean and David flew up into the sky.

Neva quickly looked around for something, anything, to hide behind or to use to get away from this creature. But the only thing there was an elevated stone that sat in the middle of this small beach.

It would have to do!

She quickly ran towards it with the creature close behind her. Neva ran around, and around, and around the stone a few times before finally managing to climb on top of the stone. A sigh of relief escaped her as she stared at the disappointed animal.

“ If I didn’t have these legs, I probably would have been caught by this animal. Legs really are convenient!” Neva thought with a small smile.

As she looked at the animal, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking how cute it was! It had long, golden hair and green eyes that stared at her with a perplexed look. But as Neva looked at it more, she noticed the dog looked very familiar…and after a moment she gasped.

This animal belonged to-!

“ Belle, there you are!” Prince Yuno exclaimed, his golden colored eyes narrowed and a stern expression appeared on his face.

So, this animal was called Belle? Interesting.

Yuno’s eyes traveled from Belle to what she was barking at and his eyes widened and his brows raised slightly in surprise.

Sitting on the rock, looking just as surprised to see him as he was surprised to see her, was a young woman.

“ Oh…hello,” He muttered softly as he stared at her.

The woman with platinum blonde hair, and bright purple eyes, nodded in greeting.

Yuno tilted his head a bit; this girl, why did she look so familiar? As he opened his mouth to ask, Belle suddenly barked at the woman.

“ Oh, I’m sorry,” Yuno apologized as he rushed over to grab Belle. “ She’s not normally like this, she’s usually a good dog.”

Neva tilted her head, so this was a dog in the human world? Huh. She thought they would look closer to the ones they had in Atlantica.

“ Are you hurt?” He asked after he calmed Belle down, his eyes quickly giving her a small once over as she quickly shook her head. He softly sighed in relief, the last thing he wanted was for Belle to get in trouble for accidentally hurting someone…

“ Have…we met before? I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before.” He asked her softly, his brow furrowing in thought as he tried to rack his brain.

“ He remembers me?” Neva thought in surprise as her eyes widened. “ I…can’t believe it. I thought he would have forgotten by now since it’s been weeks since that day. But if he truly remembers me then this might be a little easier than I thought!”

With that thought in mind, she nodded eagerly at his question. Yuno’s eyes widened and a soft gasp escaped him.

“ Are you…are you the angel that saved me?” Yuno asked, and Neva blinked in surprise.

The angel?

As he realized what he had said, Yuno’s face turned a bright shade of pink and he averted his gaze as a hand reached up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment.

“ I-I mean; are you the woman who saved me after the shipwreck a few weeks ago?” He corrected himself after quietly clearing his throat. Neva bit her bottom lip in order to suppress a giggle that bubbled in her throat.

He looked…really different when he was embarrassed. He always looked so serious whenever she saw him, or he would have a cool, aloof aura about him. But right now he looked like a normal twenty year old man who had accidentally said something embarrassing in front of a stranger.

“ So I was right; there is more to him than meets the eye,” Neva thought softly as she stared at the embarrassed young man in front of her.

“ I…want to see this side of him more.”

Neva once again nodded, confirming Yuno’s suspicion that she was the one who saved him.

“ I thought so,” He said with a small grin. “ I’ve been looking for you.”

“ He’s been looking for me?” Neva’s brows raised and her lips parted in surprise.

“ I wanted to meet you, and thank you for saving me that day,” He explained as he moved closer to her. “ Can you tell me your name?”

Neva opened her mouth and told him her name; but nothing came out.

Her eyes widened and her hands immediately went to her throat. For a moment, she had completely forgotten that she no longer had a voice, and now that remembered her heart sank into the pit of her stomach.

Yuno’s brows furrowed in confusion and in slight concern.

“ What's wrong? Did something happen to your voice?” He asked, and she nodded a bit before tapping her throat with her hands and made an X shape with her hands.

“ You…don’t have a voice?” He asked, and she nodded.

The grin slipped from Yuno’s face and a disappointed look appeared in his amber eyes, and that only made Neva’s heart sink further.

“ Then, there’s no way you could be the woman that saved me,” He muttered softly as his gaze moved from her and towards the ocean. Neva frowned for a moment before she realized why he was saying that; she had sung to him that day, and that was probably what he remembered most.

The two sat in an awkward silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts. Yuno glanced at the mysterious woman for a moment before his gaze shifted across the area; it wouldn’t be right for him to leave her all alone out here, especially after learning that she didn’t have a voice. But there was another reason why he didn’t want to leave her here:

For a reason unbeknownst to him, he felt drawn to this woman even though she wasn’t the one that saved him, and because of that…he wanted to get to know her more.

So, he held out a hand towards her.

“ You can’t stay out here by yourself,” Yuno told her softly as a confused look crossed her face. “ So, I think you should come back to the castle with me. That way you can get checked out by the doctors, and then…you can tell me your name.” He added as his gaze once again moved away from her.

Neva stared at his hand for a moment, he wanted her to come back with him? Then, did that mean he wanted to get to know her too? Or, was it just because he was concerned about her safety?

Either way, this was a good thing right? This meant she could spend more time with him, and maybe get him to fall in love with her…

She reached out and took his hand. He helped her off the rock, and when she tried to stand again, her legs began to shake before collapsing beneath her weight.

“ Hey! You okay?” Yuno exclaimed as he quickly caught her and pulled her close in order to keep her from falling.

The pair's eyes widened and their faces turned bright red. Neva’s hands gripped his shirt tightly, and Yuno’s arms were wrapped around her waist securely. The closeness of their bodies didn’t go unnoticed by either of them; and it only made their faces turn even more red, and their hearts to quicken.

“ Let’s…get you back to the castle,” Yuno muttered softly, clearing his throat but keeping his arms around her. “ Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall. So just lean against me.” He added, his voice still soft but holding a serious edge to it. Neva’s heart skipped a beat for a moment before she nodded in agreement.

As they, along with Belle, began to make their way back to the castle. Neva glanced over her shoulder at Klaus and David, giving them a sheepish look and a small shrug.

This hadn’t been quite the meeting any of them had anticipated, but it worked. Now she just had three months to get Prince Yuno to fall in love with her.

No pressure, right?

————

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

For Chance: Do you think mermaids have live babies or lay eggs?

Sorry it took me so long to answer this ask 😅 I put the explanation part of this under a cut just in case the medical terminology bothers some people. There's also some suggestive language below the cut as well. Nothing crazy. I hope this brightens your day 💚

*Chance sits on the stool and waits for you to ask him a question*

*Drip leans back and whispers to Tungst*

Drip: Why do you think they're asking just Chance?

*Tungst shrugs*

Tungst: I don't know.

Rift: Shhhhh, I'm trying to listen.

*Drip and Tungst look at each other and both shrug*

*You ask Chance the question*

*Brett snickers and leans over to whisper to Tungst*

Brett: He doesn't even know where real babies come from.

*Tungst drops his head in his hands*

*Chance thinks about the question and shifts on the stool. He presses his fingers together and touches the tip to his lips*

Chance: You're not going to kick me out of the interview if I use medical terms to describe anatomy are you? I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

*You shake your head no*

*Brett and Tungst trade quizzical glances*

Chance: To answer your question properly, I need to lay a little groundwork first. Considering that a mermaid's tail moves vertically, like a whale or a dolphin, and not horizontally, like a fish, and also the fact that mermaids are depicted with mammary glands, I would classify a mer-species as mammalian. Dolphin and whale species reproduce sexually using internal fertilization, similarly to humans, so if we follow that train of thought, then mermaids would also reproduce in a similar fashion. Dolphins have the same reproductive organs that humans have, so a mer-person, male and female, would have them as well. The only differences being that the reproductive organs are internal on the male counterpart instead of external and there is no pubic hair on either. On dolphins, the reproductive organs are hidden by a genital slit, and behind that slit is the vagina, cervix, uterus, and ovaries of the female, and the penis and testes of the male. This is why you never see modern depictions of mer-people with their reproductive organs on display. They're protected behind this genital slit. So, with all that being said, the rest of the reproductive process remains same. The mermaid ovulates, the merman fertilizes the egg, and the mermaid becomes pregnant. This reproductive process is also backed up by the fact that mer-people are depicted with belly buttons, denoting the presence of an umbilical cord at birth. The gestation period of a mermaid is still unknown, but we can also assume it's mostly similar to a human female, so around 280 rotations. After the appropriate gestational period, the baby is then birthed through the vaginal canal. Henceforth, to answer your question, yes, mermaids would have live births.

*Chance folds his hands into his lap and smiles*

*You sit in stunned silence*

*Tungst, Brett, Drip, and Rift sit in stunned silence*

*Tungst leans over to Brett and whispers*

Tungst: I thought you said he didn't know where real babies came from?

*Brett blinks a few times, opens his mouth, closes his mouth, and shakes his head*

Brett: I guess he does...

*Rift leans over to Drip and whispers*

Rift: Psssssssst.

Drip: What?

Rift: Was he talking about sex? I couldn't understand all the big words.

Drip: Yes, he was talking about sex.

Rift: Oh...

Rift: What do dolphins have to do with sex?

*Drip sighs*

Drip: I'll tell you later.

Rift: Okay.

*Tungst leans back to check on Gloss, who's been quietly scribbling away the whole time*

Tungst: Watcha' drawing?

Gloss: Mermaids.

Tungst: Can I see?

*Gloss flips his sketchbook around*

*Tungst's draw drops*

Tungst: Why would you draw that?!

Gloss: Because I wanted to.

*Brett leans back to look at the drawing that has Tungst going red*

Brett: Do you have no shame?

Gloss: What? It's natural. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Brett: There's this thing called "appropriate" and "inappropriate" and I don't think you ever learned the difference.

*Gloss shrugs*

Tungst: Please put that away before someone else sees it.

*Gloss flips his notebook around and rolls his eyes*

Gloss: None of you understand artistic expression.

[lucianinsanity]

Fuck it, talking about it here because y'all need to read my bullshit if you're here, uh, rant about genitals I guess

Found an old blog about someone roleplaying a mermaid and oh god, the first post about mermaid anatomy was bad

What do you mean the reproductive system is the same as whales and dolphins just to immediately follow that by saying the penis of a mermaid is ON THE OUTSIDE and is just small as a justification for not seeing them on male mermaids?

If it's truly like whales and dolphins you would know they are internal and they extend for intercourse, please I'm begging you

[gangrenados]

mermaids definitely have the same reproductive anatomy as dolphins or whales which means retractable tentacle penis and genital slit for sure (also fun fact: dolphins have clits)

I suppose merpeople genitals would be covered by a thick layer of skin so when they get horny, the tentadick or the slit would gradually come out if stimulated enough. It's like a peekaboo.

God that's both cool and disgusting at the same time for some reason lmao 💀

Also I'm no surprised about the dolphin thing, those fuckers are unpredictable. You could tell me the most outrageous, bizarre thing about them and I would believe you.

[fx1600]

Also find it absolutely hilarious that the entire "pet peeve" is because they're trying to figure out fish anatomy for the tail. When

1) those poses are clearly drawn to resemble someone tucking their legs up either as a form of expression, to give someone's body language a little more personality, or to just be a recognizable sitting position.

2) Fish are not mammals, and if you're basing their lower half on fish anatomy they would not have mammal style of reproduction. So why are they not pissed off about mermaids having breasts either? They even drew mermaids with breasts. Which are made for feeding young mammalian babies.

Going on a hunch here to say that they're NOT imagining some complex mix of fish and human birth functions and uh just going on a theory to say maybe they just like the look, the aesthetic of breasts. What they do for a characters form and expression.

Sort a like huh..like drawing the tail bent to look like someone sitting on their knees

[egyshop]

Mother Earth Cleansing Of Crystals

Crystal wands aren't normally formed without chemicals. Single point terminators will sometimes be rounded on the base, but usually are usually cut from larger crystal blocks. Rounding the base allows it to be part of a massage tool directly on the skin. You can use crystal wands to help remedy tension anywhere in the system. They work well on the head, feet and hands. Rose Quartz is translucent and pink colored. It is a soothing stone which has the properties of forgiveness, comfort and softness. Is actually usually great for all of things with regards to feminine reproductive anatomy. Sunlight, maybe light in regards to a Full Moon is very cleansing and energizing for crystals. When you've got a sunny place place them, or just a safe spot in the yard, this works carefully. Simply leave them out for several hours. The Merfolk exist above the world in the Oceans and Seas. The Mermaids and Mermen of Atlantis however, are thought to be be the "royalty" for this Merpeople. The Mermaids and Mermen of Atlantis are of wonderful thing about protectors, alongside the Angels of Atlantis, of the healing crystals and temples of Atlantis, which exists now in the depths of the Ocean near Greece. Rose quartz is a gentle pink pound. It is called soul stone. Wear or carry this to attract love to you, create love between you and someone special, and to heal a broken body. It strengthens the heart and circulatory systems, aiding chest and lung complaints. Each crystal has distinctive properties that distinguish it from other people. Psychics use them in their readings to better help ensure they're reading for. Used incorrectly, these crystals furthermore cause negatively affect. There are literally thousands of crystals in planet. Before to be able to using one, be very sure what is actually usually and this really can get. Fluorite: one other popular stone one of several gemstone culture. While available in many different colors, it can be a stone which enables you to guard someone against negativity. In short, this stone will absorb any negative energy near-by and help to aid it at bay. Remember, with stones that are recognized to absorb negative energies, you will need to cleanse them at least once 7 days.

This is really a few of the many Reiki crystal wonders mentioned in Reiki courses. Reiki crystals could be fun and will cause no harm if you throw them at personal. A little warning, once the Reiki crystals are used for Reiki they have a associated with disappearing. At a minimum of being upset, just hope they found a beautiful new home. Reiki crystals rock!

[westernwearblogposts]

Mother Earth Cleansing Of Crystals

Crystal wands aren't normally formed normally. Single point terminators will sometimes be rounded on the base, but usually they cut from larger crystal blocks. Rounding the base allows it to be harnessed for a massage tool directly on pores and skin. You can use crystal wands to ease tension anywhere in the human body. They work well on the head, feet and hands. Rose Quartz is translucent and light red. It is a soothing stone which has the properties of forgiveness, comfort and softness. Is usually great for all your things associated feminine reproductive anatomy. Sunlight, also know as the light of this Full Moon is very cleansing and energizing for crystals. For people with a sunny place to place them, or just a safe spot in the yard, this works surely. Simply leave them out for an hour or two. The Merfolk exist all around the the world in the Oceans and Seas. The Mermaids and Mermen of Atlantis however, are thought to be the "royalty" on the Merpeople. The Mermaids and Mermen of Atlantis are some of once you protectors, alongside the Angels of Atlantis, of the healing crystals and temples of Atlantis, which exists now in the depths among the Ocean near Greece. Rose quartz is a gentle pink brick. It is called the heart stone. Wear or carry this to draw love to you, create love between you and someone special, and to heal a broken body. It strengthens the heart and circulatory systems, aiding chest and lung problems.

Each crystal has distinctive properties that distinguish it from other sites. Psychics use them in their readings to higher help make certain they're reading for. Used incorrectly, these crystals likewise cause harm. There are loads of crystals in the field of. Before for you to go using one, be certain what it and this can do. Fluorite: one other popular stone among the gemstone nearby community. While available in many different colors, it is a stone that will help to guard someone against negativity. In short, this stone will absorb any negative energy near-by and help to bear in mind it from increasing. Remember, with stones that are known to absorb negative energies, it is advisable to cleanse them at least once full week. This 's just a few of the many Reiki crystal wonders mentioned in Reiki courses. Reiki crystals could be fun and definitely will cause no harm a person throw them at a man or woman. A little warning, once the Reiki crystals are used in Reiki possess a means of disappearing. In lieu of being upset, just hope they found a great new residential. Reiki crystals rock!