#mercs plays dnd

[cloverboyblue]

(hopeful voice) werewolf penis ?

[cloverboyblue]

being illiterate is the glue that holds our party (not achlys) together

cheer up sylvie, it’s just strahd inviting you to see him at the castle! your party will read it for you

[morskisir]

post-work chill session

[mercurygray]

I know I talk a big game about OCs, but building new DnD characters is wild, guys.

[malewifenico]

HI HELLO MICK TO MERC OH MY GOD

[mercurygray]

I shared this post with my campaign discord server, and everyone agreed the one thing they wanted fanfic of was my character.

As background, I am currently planning our campaign's tank, a leonin paladin who is sort of the team mom and sometime mentor to one of the party's NPCs. During a foray into an enchanted swamp to find a witch, I cast speak with animals to talk to a very large frog.

My DM decided she had the opportunity to do something very funny, and reminded me that frogs usually croak when they're looking for mates, and so my very dignified leonin had basically responded to a Love Wanted ad, and the frog was very into it.

Anyway, I'm still waiting for that one to come back to haunt me.

The wild thing about being obsessed with your own DnD campaign is that there's absolutely NO fandom content for it except the stuff that you make

Like, what do you mean only six other people in the entire world have heard of Dave the Ice Elemental whose job is Freezer at the Fantasy Starbucks?

[they-hermes]

transformers roleplay books you are forever in my heart...

[potatoesandsunshine]

wizard night!!!

[tf2heritageposts]

what classes/races would the mercs play in dnd. sound off in the reblogs NOW

[flames-unicorns-and-sentryguns]

Larping AU

or: everyone is just playing pretend. The Administrator is someone just kinda watching from the property next door.

Everyone's real life deal

Scout: community college student in his first/ second year. Works part time at subway, working on/ wants to be a voice actor and artist. Not related to Spy here.

Spy: an actual Actor, befriends Scout and males their characters have the Father son relationship. Wears lots of costume pieces and clothes to hide himself.

Demoman: a Scotsman who owns a bar and has a special interest in explosives.

Solider: a history teacher at the college scout goes to. Knows his stuff and will throw in some factual historical/ casual knowledge into his pretend nonsensical yelling.

heavy: a literature teacher at the same college. Befriends Solider, got introduced to Demoman via Solider. Zhanna hangs out with him and ends up as part of the Lore of their game. Met Scout outside of work because he happens to visit the same shop scout works at.

Engineer: is a civil/ electrical engineer. Has wrist and hand problems and wears a brace. Can't actually play the guitar ( partially due to his wrist pain). So he brings around a guitar hero guitar to pretend to play it. Accidentally said yeah I'm playing an engineer because he did not realize they were picking their roles. All his machines are made of cardboard boxes. The dispenser is a cooler people can come by and grab snacks/ drinks and take a break.

Medic: an actual medic, dating heavy still. When he activates ' Uber' he makes the medic theme song with his mouth for 8 seconds.

Sniper: a park ranger at the local wildlife preservation park. Im not taking away the Bushman thing.

pyro: worked or works with some sort of painting/ spray paint and needs the suit/ mask. Friends with engineer still.

They all kinda know each other/ end up visiting the same bar. They got to talking and made a goofy story/ wouldn't it be funny if - situation and started making up a whole lore behind it..

Spy's cloak: he is throwing a blanket of some sort and everyone pretending not to see him. Doesn't smoke, but likes to chew on things. His knives? A Popsicle stick. His disguises? Still the paper masks

Engineer pretends his wrist brace is the Gunslinger and he gets to slap people.

the guns and bats? Nerf guns and the like. Heavys boxing gloves? Socker boppers.

The bombs? Glitter bombs.

Rocket jumping? A pogo stick/ trampoline.

Saxton Hale is a gym bro that comes by sometimes.

pyros flamethrower ? A broken vacuum cleaner/ hair dryer.

Medic carries around a toy medic bag. His medigun? A flash light/ a vacuum hose.

the classic mercs are some old people/ people from the old folks home they invited over for some of the main comic plot.

Merasmus is Soliders room mate and insists on trying to Play regular DND in this larp.

[clevernameideaidk]

Fuck it, I’m rating the mercs by how good of a dnd player they are

Scout: 2/10, he shows up late and acts like the main character. He does his own thing and constantly forgets the rules. He brings snacks though.

Soldier: 3/10, he is the definition of lawful stupid and gets way to invested. He loves combat but is upset when he looses.

Pyro: 5/10, he is full of whimsy and joy. He would love the game, but tends to set too many places on fire.

Demo: 8/10, he is an experienced player. Gets into roleplay and is fun in combat. He arrives late and drunk though, so points off for that.

Heavy: 5/10, he doesn’t play, but will join if invited. Generally a good player if a bit quiet.

Engie: 7/10, likes playing but is more into the mechanics. He will try to do some ridiculous things by what the rules allow, so he’s fun but watch out.

Medic: 4/10, will go murderhobo and have a fun time doing so. Don’t invite him unless you want your npcs experimented on.

Sniper: 5/10, he doesn’t engage in roleplay but will join if necessary. A god at combat.

Spy: 6/10, would not play unless made to, but he would enjoy roleplaying. Not interested in combat at all

Pauling: 10/10 the dungeon master

[cloverboyblue]

dnd arcventures continue… she wasn’t even the one who suggested the “seduce everyone” plan! she was extremely down to try it though.

it didn’t end up working very well, but she did get everyone a new place to stay, and has also learned what the colour green is.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

responding to the ttrpg ask. I only really know about dnd but

I think out of all the mercs soldier really likes dnd. Like. He was so invested in it in the gargoyles and gravel comics. Medic would be too but he bullshits his way into weaponizing healing spells.

It's so funny that you think Soldier is "invested in it" when he's actively terrible and has presumably picked up that cursed amulet like six or seven times in a row. Now idk anything abt DnD really, I've never played, I've always thought that Pauling picked objectively the three worst guys to play GnG (Gargoyles n Gravel) with. Demo, Medic, Pyro, and possibly Sniper would be my GnG game night picks, with Demo and Pyro being big fantasy guys, Medic being an all-around giant fuckass nerd, and Sniper just kinda seeming like the kind of guy who can get behind a board game with like, notetaking and skill checks and shit. He probably spent his childhood playing, like, Stratego or some lame shit like that

[mercurygray]

As I think I've mentioned once or twice before, one of the other things I do for fun outside of writing is playing Dungeons and Dragons with some friends from college. We started during the pandemic as a way to keep busy on Sunday nights, and we've been lucky enough to keep it up for the last three years and start some new stories and adventures with it.

Now, I consider myself a pretty good writer, but I went to college with some amazing and creative people and next to them my characters usually look like amateur hour.

But I'm kind of proud of this one - it's for a new one-shot that @profmj is dm'ing for us for October. (If you are into DND, go give her a follow! She's doing some art of the Curse of Strahd campaign we're in right now that's really fun.)

---

I was born an unlucky child.

Stars are a good luck charm, in my village, and that's why my mother named me as she did - so that I would always have a little bit of luck. She couldn't help the circumstances of my birth, but she could protect me from the world, or try to, anyway, and that's exactly what she did.

Adventurers lead strange lives - everyone knows that. And my mother was one of the best - Sabina Von Scholtz. Fearless and daring could have been her middle names - the best hand I ever knew with a rapier, a beautiful singing voice, and a smile that could charm a dragonborn into thinking he needed new flints to light fires. She'd been so many places, and made so many friends - her name a watchword on the tongues of people from the Bright Coast to the Great Sea.

But small villages are small villages, and even they don't turn a blind eye when their golden girls come home from far-away places with babies in their bellies. Especially babies with fathers they don't want to name.

Perhaps, then, it might be better said that my mother was unlucky - to be who she was, living where she was, in the trade she was in. But she never said as much to me. I was her darling girl and her only joy, and she never for one moment made me think she'd suffered because of me.

It wasn't only until I was older I found out how much she'd sacrificed for me. My father was a man she'd met on one of her adventures - the man they'd been sent to kill. She did it, of course - but only after she'd seduced him, a glamour hiding her true face so he took her for the woman he'd lost long ago. His desire cost him his life - but he had powerful magic of his own, and that desire took root and gave her me: her Stel, her little star.

We spent my childhood on the road, moving from town to town and village to village, my mother taking work where ever it could be found and leaving me with tavernkeepers' wives and kindly clerics. When I was old enough to hold my own with a bow I started joining her, and taking odd jobs around town when she couldn't. (I can clear a tavern table faster than any woman around, and I'm a fair hand at cards. My voice isn't nearly as good as my mother's, though. I never learned that trick.) I can still fight with a bow, when I wish, but now I have her beloved moon-touched Rapier - a prize she won on an old campaign. I'll tell you the story some time, if you like.

He wasn't exactly human, my father, and neither, you'll find, am I. I've never feared the dark - Stars are the night's creatures, and the night is where I'm calmest, and where my friends are usually found. You may meet them if you stay with me a while.

I'm Stel Von Scholtz - a ranger by trade. And you?

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I traced the strings back to YOU, the missfire creator, and now I have two things to say.

1) THIS SHIP IS SO WONDERFUL EUGHHGFDHGFGFG OH MYGOD 3RD EYE OPENED. Thank you so much for throwing this rarepair in my radar.

2) Do you have any missfire/cesium headcanons?? I'd LOVE to hear some :3c

I FINALLY HAVE GOTTEN MY BRAIN TO WORK ENOUGH TO ANSWER THIS HI HI HI HELLO :) I am in fact no the creator tho that would be @soupsy-daisy who wrote This fic!! I just got VERY autistic about the pairing and was the first person to suggest a name for them (I am the cesium person idr who came up with missfire rn but its also v cute :) )

as for headcanons here are some !!! (Under the cut for those who don't want to see my rambles :) )

Miss Pauling has (somewhat) learned all the languages the Mercs know! this was a job requirement as she had to make sure they weren't keeping secrets, but she does enjoy it. Pyro CAN speak they just don't like taking off their mask nor do they like shouting for people to be able to hear them (legit i have a friend who tried playing dnd in one of those and half the time he had to yell so i could hear him right next to me), so they use sign and writing stuff down to communicate a lot. She was the first person to be able to understand pyro using ASL and she was the one to encourage the team to learn.

Pyro has cronic pain (mecore) and often has flare ups after battles pretty often, and it makes it hard for them to move and shit because Their Legs are being Taken by the Demons. They tend to just try and power through despite feeling like their muscles are attacking them and refuse to tell medic because they feel like they'll just be dismissed as dramatic. While the other mercs have noticed something is up with Pyro when they get back to base most days, no one pushes them to hard on it since theyre always quick to deny any oddities in their behavior, but Ms. P knows because well... its her job to know. She did get them to go to medic and get pain meds to help, as well as laying down with them when its gets to be too much. she also got them a cane not long after to help them out as well as some cute stickers and stuff to decorate it with :)

Pauling hates loud noises if she doesn't feel she has any control over them (Mecore again). like a gunshot? eh half the time shes the one firing the gun, and if she isn't then soon she will be. But things like people suddenly shouting when she didn't expect it, thunder and fireworks, stuff like that will just really mess her up. Pyro is pretty neutral on loud noises like that (tho they LOVE thunder and storms in general) so typically they'll go find her and just sit down and enjoy the silence together away from that

its actually pyros love of storms that helps her enjoy them herself. I have to draw out my idea for this since its a very spesific gay little moment but she basically over their time together begins to associate rain with them and without realizing it starts to get just as excited about rain too :)

I can post some more hcs later but a lot of the ones I had to stop myself from posting are gonna be kinda mentioned in some fics im working on rn >:) Gonna finish chapter 2 of safe with me tonight hopefully so stay tuned for that!!

[wolfram-but-art]

heres some hcs/ lore for my human!Achimedes [long post] [i might edit in the future]

Genereal hcs:

he was created by Medic in a lab. think green goo in a glass tube kind of lab

he also kinda looks like Medic because he used his own DNA to create Archie

Archie is about 3

his body was created to be ~20, but mentally he's about 13

the original Archimedes is still alive too, Medic just took some of his dna

he doesn't talk much, mostly because he doesn't fully know how to, but also he just doesn't feel the need to talk a lot. He can hold up a conversation pretty well if he wants to tho

he liked to listen to people talk, even if he doesn't really understand what they're talking about

he's pretty smart for someone who's had a bird brain for most their life

Archie is also Aroace and has Misophonia

he gets startled easily, and is afraid of loud sounds

for that reason, he often wears noise-cancelling earphones

he often listens to music too, partially because he likes to listen to music, and partially because it's a more fun alternative to noise-cancelling earphones

he actually sometimes pairs two of those up. no noise, just music

he stims a lot!! he gets flappy hands/ jumps around/squeaks when he's happy and rocks/clasps hands when he's uncomfortable

he plays DnD with Miss Pauling and the mercs

Archie also likes wearing dresses, he doesnt really get the concept of gender/ roles, he just wears whatever looks cool

he reffers to pretty much anyone by "Herr" (sir) or "Frau" (miss/mrs). With the exeption of Spy (in my hc hes genderfluid) for how her he uses both Frau and Herr, for Merasmus he'll use Frau, for Pyro he'll use Herr, Frau and nothing (as in he just calls her Pyro)

specific mercs:

Medic:

his father obviously

you make a single hair fall from Archie's head, you're dead.

he's surprisingly a very loving father

he tries to teach him what ~little~ he knows about medicine/anatomy/healing

he infodumps about his projects to him a lot, Archie likes to listen

he teaches him how to read, write and talk, both in English and German

Archie assists him while he's working a lot; he isn't really bothered by surgeries, so he helps out in those too

Medic has so many of his drawings in his office

they talk a lot, he's mostly the one to answer his constant questions about everything (questions like "why is the sky") (Medic enjoys answering them a lot too)

they just hang out together most of the time, whether that's reading, watching a movie, going out for a walk, cooking, just talking and being around eachother in general

Medic genuinely cares about Archie a lot

Pyro:

Archie loves hanging out with Pyro

they make friendship bracelets for everyone

Archie and her play with plushies all the time

they don't talk much when around each other, but they understand each other perfectly

Archie is also one of the few people (besides Engie and Spy) that actually understand what Pyro is saying

they watch cartoons and horror films together

they draw together a lot too!!

Scout:

two dubious little creatures getting up to mischief. this is no good.

that being said, they do pranks all the time together

they get sugar rushes together and run around the base

they do karaoke together!! by that i mean they sing California Girls at like 2 in the morning

Archie, him and Pyro get together sometimes and draw for like 6 hours straight, listening to music/ watching a movie/ just talking

he shows Archie all the cool spots, like how to get to rooftops or good hiding spots in the base

Scout teaches Archie swear words "in secret." Medic isn't too happy about it

we stay silly :p

they watch action movies together

Scout used to make fun of him as a joke, Archie usually laughed along, but one day he was having a bad day and Scout pushed it a little too far and made him cry. He almost got killed for that

they do nerf battles together!! they usually get all the other mercs to play aswell, but sometimes it's just the two of them running around

Scout talks so much to him, because Archie doesn't interrupt him.

Sniper:

they've played like every board game in existence together

Sniper takes Archie camping, and they often hang out together in his van

Archie reads books with him very often, Mundy explains words to him and helps him read hard words

they also watch old movies! mostly comedies

for the two of the most quiet people on the team, they surprisingly talk a lot when they're around eachother!

they also play monopoly with pyro, miss Pauling and demo a lot! they all help Archie read the cards

he teaches Archie how to shoot from a bow

Spy:

Spy is too embarrassed to admit that he cares for Archie

Archie loves getting praised by him for some reason

he gives him headpats a lot

he's very careful not to smoke around him, he know Medic would kill him for it

Archie took his cloak watch that one time, Spy didn't have the heart to take it way from him because he was having fun

Heavy:

Archie was very afraid of him the first few monts, but slowly came around to liking him

they hang out a lot! probably not talking much, mostly reading books in the same room, it's their way of bonding

Heavy takes him on walks a lot

He teaches Archie how to cook too

he tries to be the best dad he can for him

teaches him self defence and how to use guns

he's trying to teach Archie Russian, but knows to take it slow, he knows Medic is trying to teach him two languages already, he knows it'd be too much pressure

you make Archie cry - he will make sure you feel as much pain as physically possible.

Demo:

him, Archie, Pyro, and Sniper play Monopoly a lot!

they mostly do arts n crafts together (carving shit out of wood, making animals out of wires n stuff)

Demo also helps Heavy teach him how to cook

Engi:

He's like a third father to Archie

they also hang out all the time

Engi takes him fishing!

he teaches him how to talk, read and write

he infodumps about his projects to Archie

he also teaches him how to code!

he calls Archie "birdie" all the time

he also calls him "kid/kiddo" / "boy" / "honeybee" / "darling"

(not in a romantic way, he just has a nickname for everyone)

Archie hangs out in his workshop a lot! sometimes with Soldier and Demo too, Engi gives them wood to carve stuff out of

Soldier:

Him, Archie and Sniper go camping every week

regrettably Archie doesn't hang out with him as much, because he is very loud

they still hang out tho!

he "teaches" Archie "history"

they play on girl-go-games.com together

Miss. Pauling:

Archie really likes her actually

she stays with him when the mercs are doing contracts and stuff like that

she also teaches him how to read/write/talk but in a proper way

like she gives him homework n makes sure he's making progress

not that the other people aren't doing it, she's just better at it i guess

She includes him in their DnD sessions! she also plays Monopoly with him, Sniper, Demo and Pyro