#mentor had good advice that is unfortunately too late for me to follow but is good to know for the future

[chewtoyboytoy]

Me, during blocking: hm. the constraint here isn't letting me get a hand pose that i really want. i will temporarily deactivate the constraint here and manually pose the object and hand to get the poses and arcs I want :) yeah, that's looking good :)

Me, after blocking, during splining: WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT

[fa-by]

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Back with a new 'Q&A' post. Enjoy 🙃

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and yes, I did. You can find it here, dear: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648192029691691008/camren-timeline-tittle-edited.

Yes, I heard about that rumor, dear Anon, and veeery false.

I knoooow 😍😍😍 Let's cry in joy and queerness 🥺😭🌈🏳‍🌈

Yep, dear Anon. And unfortunately for us, they will continue to do so for a veeeery long time 😒🙄😔

No, dear Anon, I highly doubt it's another duet. They'd be really, but really stupid if they do 🤦🏻‍♀‍

No, dear Anon, these are just people who want attention. People who have problems in their lives and talk shit about others to feel better. This is just the work of those people who believe in black magic and want to involve as many people as possible to think like them, and if they fail, they attack you because you didn't agree with them and you didn't go to their side. They can get so desperate they even get to the point of, oh I don't know, since you've blocked them, sending an anonymous ask to your girlfriend with a death wish for you:

The funny thing for me besides thinking that maybe this person believes they're a witch and imagining them with a voodoo doll with a needle in my stomach, is that I was kind to them the first time 🤷🏻‍♀‍ I tried to make them reason, I really tried to meet them halfway, but sometimes that's not enough with people like that.

But anyway. My point is that no, management has nothing to do with it. Thank you for your ask, dear 🤗

It's okay, dear Anon, don't worry 😄 In last time’s ask you wanted my opinion on the song, right? Well, Not Killin' It Today simply talks about how not every day is a good day. It can happen to all of us not to feel 100%, and Mila says just that. For us girls it can happen even more during or just before the red sea period, if you know what I mean, and indeed, she herself sings “I'm PMSing” = PMS: premenstrual syndrome. If that's why, I think she wrote this song precisely around that period 🤣

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Don't worry, dear, I can understand you, and if I hadn't, we would have found a way to do it. English is not my first language either.

1) Yes, I do think that.

2) (I knew all this) I know she did; she's been doing it for years if that's why because Taylor is one of Camila's mentors. Taylor is what can be defined as the celebrity master with PRs. She’s always done what she was asked to do and she’s always fulfilled her PRs duties of her contracts, and indeed, look where she is now, as well as being a great songwriter. So yeah, who better than her?

Hope you're great too, dear 🤗

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 I'm sorry I'm bad with general questions like this 😅 I'm so much better when I'm asked a more specific question, and usually, when I have something in mind, I write it and create a post with my opinion about it. I'm not kidding about how bad I am at this, believe me. It’s the same thing as when I get the typical “tell me something about yourself” phrase. It's like my brain suddenly switches off 😅🤣 Can you take a look at all my posts from my archive to see which ones I’ve already responded to and maybe come back with a question? I'm really sorry, dear 😖🥺

I'm sorry but Camila can't stop anything, dear Anon. Not Camila, not Roger, and not even Shoo. I understand your frustration, believe me, I do, but you, and anyone else to which this is still not clear, need to understand that it's a contract. A contract called a relationship contract, and it's a legally binding document. I know it's hard, but the advice I can give you is to ignore the 12-year-old SS and their fantasies, and wait for it to finish without wasting your energy on the bullshit they say. Don't let them get to you and unleash your anger. You make them win this way. Rather, have a laugh at their ignorance.

Hey dear Anon, I'm good, thanks, and I hope you're doing well too 😊 They broke up for a little while, for about a month before, so more than a breakup I would call it a little break. And to answer the rest of your questions, dear, I'll sum it all up by telling you that when they're not together, or they're on a break, they have a different way of acting than when they're together. And I speak in general. It shows in the way they behave in general. Now it's much harder to see since they're no longer in the group and you could clearly see when it happened, and it’s also hard since the pandemic, but there are patterns. I’ve spent so much time analyzing them that they're quite predictable in my eyes 🤣 Forgive me if I'm not going into details, but these are personal observations that not everyone can agree on, you know? Maybe I'll do it in the future, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀‍ We'll see 😉 Have a good day/night too 😄

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼 and thank you very much 😄 and yes, of course. To answer the rest of your questions, I'll summarize everything by telling you that you have to take into account that I entered the fandom at the Work from Home's time, so they were all just rumors to me initially. Camren themselves were just a rumor to me. I had to search, analyze, and find the proofs on my own to prove to myself which ones were true or not. The first example that comes to mind and that I can give you is the kiss in the van in London that I recently explained in my ‘Inauguration’ post.

I'm sorry you think this way, dear Anon. I honestly think she doesn't even know. She has said many times that she tries to stay away from social media, and I really believe that. She did it before already, but I'm convinced that she does that even more since she was going through that bad time and she was about to give it all up. Besides, it's known that she doesn't manage her accounts, just as it's known that she doesn't even control how they’re used I would say 90% of the time. I don't know if she'll find out and eventually will say something about it. We don't even know if she has the freedom to do so. So, I'm really sorry you're making a decision based on something she didn't do.

Hey to you too, dear Anon 😄 Yeah, it's nothing new. I'd already debunked the whole Laucy story with my very first post (https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648191757219250176/there-is-a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel), so as far as I'm concerned, she can say what she wants in future podcasts/interviews as well, but she'll never be able to convince me that she's not actually talking about Camila. This was simply a much more chill, fun, with no tears, and no mention of Camila repetition. The first podcast served to plant the seed. We know that Lucy is her main narrative and we know that she will continue to use her for a very long time. I mean, it’s convenient for her. It's the perfect cover for our Mila. But if people want to keep believing they (Laucy) were real, that's honestly their problem 🤣 Let them be convinced of their beliefs, dear, and have a laugh 😉

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Here's the thing……… Yes, to everything you said 🤣 but let me explain why.

1&2) Yes, Laur is like ‘part’ of their contract but for simple narrative, as you yourself said too. If that's why, so are 5H and all the rest of the people who are or have been involved with them. I'll give you an example. You know the bullshit they said about the Austin Mahone tour? That Sunsilk was always isolated in his bus playing guitar? That no one spoke to him outside of Camila when there are actually plenty of videos showing him spending time with the rest of 5H and the other people on the tour too? Certainly none of those people can call him out on that bullshit today and say it wasn't true. They'd blow his cover. They'd make him not credible in the general public's eyes. So everyone needs to be quiet for what they know (that's how it works in that world for every damn thing), and that's Lauren's involvement in their PR. Be quiet. Be quiet and go along with the game. Just as Camila had to during hers with Tymbal.

3) They have to, dear, or all the farces told so far would go to shit for the GP too. 4) 100%, dear Anon, 100% 😏😉 but it must also be said that they'll remain connected forever anyway because of the group.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Welcome and thank you very much 🤗

1) Everything she's been doing lately leads us to think that the first single for the EP will arrive shortly. I think and hope it will arrive for the summer, but as far as the actual EP is concerned, it will depend on the release of the single. So if the single is out this summer, it's very likely that the EP will follow its course by arriving towards the beginning of autumn. We'll see, dear, we'll see 🤞🏼 🤞🏼 🤞🏼

2) I know that many people get upset and that they're disappointed, and while I too would like her to interact with us more, I also know and understand that it's not just up to her. Although she's much but much freer than before, she still has contracts, people, and patterns to follow.

Take it from someone who's waiting for Rihanna's new album for 5 years 😅🤣 It takes patience, and I have a lot of patience, dear. I fall into the category of those who don't mind waiting simply because I'll always support Lauren.

People forget this: we have to consider ourselves lucky that after what she went through, she decided to pursue with music.

If you love her, if you stan her, then be patient. Stay metaphorically speaking by her side no matter what. That’s what I think, dear Anon.

Do you mean the first breakup they had that lasted from late November 2014 to late December/very first days of January 2015, or do you mean the bad one that took place in October 2015? But in any case, both of your questions rejoin only one event, dear Anon: the real breakup of the group that happened in mid-October 2015. But answering you more specifically:

1) You can see with your own eyes the videos of the interviews of that period by starting with this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WqOb9qBQ_M&t=11s.

2) Camila’s unofficial departure from the group at the time was the icing on the cake, but you have to consider a lot of things, dear. The fact that they were young. The fact that they were in the spotlight and were being monitored by both fans and management. The fact that they had those same people controlling them and telling them what to do all the time. The fact that they were constantly under pressure. The fact that they couldn't be together freely as a couple. The fact that they were forced to pretend they didn't love each other. The fact that they were forced to do PRs, despite being much lighter than now. I could go on with the list, dear Anon, but I think you get the point. It's a lot of stress and a lot to digest, especially considering how young they were and the environment around them.

Have a nice day too, dear 😄

Of course I can answer you, dear Anon 😊 So, in my opinion, and always keep in mind that I could be wrong, she told every person in her clique at different times. I think Mila knew about her attraction to girls back in school, but she didn't say anything to anyone because she didn't have a reason to. In the sense that she hasn't had the opportunity to approach another girl and therefore have a reason to tell someone about her queerness. After her first kiss with Lauren on New Year's Eve, I'm willing to bet that the first person she came out to was her mom. Camila's number one best friend is and always has been Sinu, so I can feel it in my bones that she was the first one to know. Oh and, we're in early 2013 here, so Mila was still 15.

After Sinu, there were the girls (DNA) who obviously lived their story with them step by step and therefore I don't think it was a real coming out with them, and her best friends back at home, Sandra and Marielle Guzman (and maybe also Mariana Luna since she was the other one with whom she was very close immediately after the two sisters, but I'm not very convinced of it), and Jenny Runza, who despite being a little younger than Sinu, Mila has always regarded as one of her best friends.

In 2014, when Camren were official, there were more confirmations that led to her automatic coming out with the rest of her clique's friends since the word Camren had already spread around like wildfire for almost two years by then.

At the beginning of 2015, it was the moment when Laur came out to her family, so I strongly believe that that was also Alejandro's moment, although I'm convinced that like the Jaureguis, Ale knew about his daughter all along and that he was even more convinced at X-Factor. Sofi was last on the list simply for a matter of age and I'm talking about 2017. I can't tell you when she told her grandpas. I don't even know if she could have told Norberto because I don't know the kind of relationship she has with him, but Mercedes? Well, abuelita certainly knew this before 2018 because I laugh when I think about the way she looked and talked with Mattress during their PR.

It's not that simple, dear Anon. You're not considering the fact that they didn't communicate during that time. You're dwelling on only one thing and are not looking at the big picture of their relationship at the time. Okay. Let's do something. Picture a scenario that has nothing to do with Camren.

Picture a couple living together. A couple who often quarrel over even the most trivial things or who don't talk at all because they almost avoid each other. Their relationship is very unstable and they're basically at the end of it. Now picture a conversation between this couple in which the only exchanges spoken in a normal way are by then just daily information such as: “I'll be at work from 8 to 4” - “Okay. Will you come home right after?” - “Yeah, I think so” - and then that person comes home at 6 pm despite the worried calls and messages received.

They're so distant that the person who came home late didn't feel compelled to pick up the phone and tell them about the delay. Probably that person didn't even feel compelled to give an explanation and justify the delay once they got home because they're convinced that their partner doesn't really care and that they're just looking for yet another excuse to argue. That person will have felt even more trapped and suffocated by their partner who was really worried instead, but neither of them tells the other the truth because they're too busy arguing and blaming each other instead of meeting each other halfway and really talking about what they feel and makes them vulnerable. They will surely end up in bed with their backs to each other without saying a word to each other after the fight.

Now look at these phrases from the song itself and put Camren's faces in place of the couple in the example: “With no confrontation, I really wish we could talk about it instead” – “All I need from your side is for you to communicate”. Is it easier for you to understand the dynamic now, dear?

Hello to you too @camilalauren0327 👋🏼😄 [why can't I ever tag you in posts?]

No, no, no, dear. None of this happens. So. I'd like to start by saying that OCD begins when people misunderstand their own thoughts. We've all had unwelcome and intrusive thoughts at least once in our lives, right? Well, the importance of those thoughts becomes much more intense or sometimes even extreme for people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Like, I'll give you a stupid example, okay?

Most of the time I park, I lock the car, and after I’ve taken a couple of steps, I ask myself: “Ma ho chiuso la macchina?” / “Did I lock the car?”. So, I turn around and lock it again with the keys' remote control even though I've already done it, but I do that anyway to be sure and because maybe I really didn't do it because it happened for real. Now. What would a person with OCD do? Most likely they would do like me, and after getting halfway, they would go back again to close it AGAIN. They would do it a couple of times, and most likely, they would do it a third time after they got home. They would leave the house to go lock the car they've already locked five times.

OCD can begin in adolescence, early adulthood, or even childhood. The onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder is typically gradual, but in some cases, it can begin suddenly. Symptoms vary in severity from time to time and this variation may be related to the occurrence of stressful events. Now. Doesn't all this rings a bell for you? No? Okay, let me explain. I'll copy a piece of my ‘Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)’ post for you: “Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD).”

Why did she start suffering from it at the age of 8? Because little Mila moved back and forth between Havana and Mexico City until she was 5, almost 6, right? After that, she moved to Miami with her mom by leaving behind her family, her friends, basically everything she knew, and her dad. Her dad finally managed to rejoin them almost two years later when she was almost 8 years old. Although she had her family with her again, her little mind didn't relax. It didn’t bring peace to her. In fact, that sprang her first OCD symptoms, which gradually worsened and then fully erupted years later in the group.

What triggers OCD? Stressful life events.

Got it now? Were you able to put the pieces together, dear? I've also answered other questions on the same topic here if it may interest you: https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648194918161989633/%C9%9F.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 Don't worry, nobody’s asked me to do it yet.

So, as I think we all know, The Boy was originally titled Care About Me. Ed Sheeran wrote it and gave it to Mila for her self-titled album Camila. Mila almost completely rewrote it (Ed said 90% of it) and lastly discarded it because it didn't fit well with the rest of the songs on the album, and I totally understand that.

Intro:

“Yeah, he's messed up a couple times

But he's my glass of cherry wine

And I drink and I drink 'til I'm drunk off of him

I'm in love

(Ash:) He just hit me up to come over

He said what?”

So. The song begins with Mila trying to justify the boy by saying that even though he made mistakes, she's so into him to get past it. I know she used terms like drunk off of him and in love, but she doesn't mean that she's actually in love with him in this case. Just very into him. She's jokingly explaining the situation because she's talking to Ashlee, her friend, and I don't know about you, but my friends and I often use the term in love to make people laugh and to indicate interest in someone.

Like if we see someone for the first time and they're really hot, or if one of the celebrities we like posts like a selfie, we say “I'm in love”. Or, like, another kind of example: one of my best friends has been dating this guy for a few months, and last week he surprised her with some flowers (which he paid very much by the way) and with dinner just because. Hearing her happiness since she has always had only assholes so far, when she finished telling me everything, I made fun of her by laughing and saying: “Lost in love, huh?”. Not because she's actually in love with him, but because it was such a nice thing and she's into him.

So Mila used those phrases to indicate how much she liked him and not because she was actually in love. Also because if she had really been in love with him, she wouldn't have said she didn't care about him for the rest of the song.

Then ‘Ash’ receives the text, and this leads us to understand that the boy is a player and a cheater.

Verse 1:

“Momma said, ‘Always be kind, girl’ (Girl, what's on your mind?)

But I got something I should say (Say it, girl), uh

Boy, I'm sick and done and tired (There's something on my mind)

I'm not yours to manipulate, uh-huh (Tell him girl, tell hi)”

It explains itself quite well. She can't take it anymore.

Pre-Chorus:

“Oh boy, hold your tongue, I don't want no 'pology

‘Cause we both know you're thinking wit' was under your jeans”

Mila tells him not to waste his breath on justifications derived from his member because she doesn't need them. Tsk, Tsk. Typical male behavior. 80% of their thoughts are formulated based on how and where to put their tool in 🙄

“Sent your friends over to tell them you're missing me”

He even sends his friends to her to try to change her mind, but:

“But I don't care, so tell that boy that I am fine”

But she doesn't care. She doesn't care because she's fine this way. In fact, she's better off without him.

Chorus:

“I don't care about the day he decided to leave

I won't be there when he tells another lie so”

This makes us understand how many times she's had to forgive his bullshit.

“I'm gon' use all of my words for weapons”

We know how lethal words can be.

“'Cause the boy don't care about me, lemme say it again, now, babe

I don't care about the way he thinks it's so sweet (Ah)

All that sugar cone gon' be bad for me tomorrow (Ah)”

He can try to kiss her ass as much as he wants, but she won't change her mind. Talking sweet to try to win her back doesn't work because she doesn't want to deal with a player who lies to her and messes up every time.

“I'm gon' use all of my words for weapons

'Cause the boy don't care about me”

He doesn't really care about her, so it's even useless to her that he tries to fix it.

Verse 2:

“All my girls inside the place now (Say we don't need no man)

No wonder we switch sides sometimes (We got this)”

Camilita, Camilita, Camilita 😏 No wonder many girls prefer other girls, huh?

Switching sides can mean switching sides in the true sense of the word, that is for example going from one side of a room to the other. It can mean changing your mind about something or someone. And, most interesting of all in this case, it can mean switching sides in sexual orientation.

I've said many times that she's a fucking genius, and we know how sneaky she is with her songs. She was really smart at using this hidden meaning because a lot of people took it for granted that she meant the meaning of changing her mind since we girls have this nomination about often changing our minds about something.

“Wipe that good look off your face (Say we got better plans)

Ooh, you better not act surprised (For real)”

Exactly. What would be the point? A lot of guys do that 🙄

Bridge:

“Oh, oh, don't care about me

That's fine with me, babe

You don't care about me

And that's fine with me

Fine with me, fine with me (Don't care about)

It is what I need, oh (That's fine with)

Don't care about, care about

Care about, care about me, oh”

She's fine with it simply because she doesn't care about him either.

Outro:

(Ash:) “Girl, that's old, we're done with that”

Yep. She's definitely done with that/him.

And this is my interpretation, dear Anon 😄 In my opinion, if this song really ended up on the self-titled, it would've been used to give yet another proof of her light, old PR with Michael. People were supposed to remember her last, sure, Jan, flame before meeting the love guru Matrix. It was supposed to be like: “Hey, hey, guys, I'm straight, look! I was with a boy and now with another grandpa one!”.

It's just a different version of the Cinderella song for me: she doesn't need a guy in her life. Don't wrap your head around it too much, dear Anon. There's no deep meaning behind it at all. After all, this song was given to her by her idol, and she certainly couldn't refuse. She changed it in a sassy and fun way, she saw that she couldn't fit it with the others because it wouldn't have made sense, and she then discarded it. The end. She was like: it was funny, but I actually have a story to tell. Bye-bye.

Have a good day too, dear ❤️

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄 and yes of course I can do both, but for what purpose am I supposed to do All Again? I mean, I can give you my interpretation of that song without any problem, but it wasn't written by them. By none of them five. That's why I'm asking you for what purpose am I supposed to do that. And that should answer your second question as well. Like No Way and many other songs, the girls may have related to them, but they didn't write them. The only songs they wrote, and not alone but with other songwriters, are:

- Me & My Girls, Don't Wanna Dance Alone, and Who Are You for Better Together,

- All in My Head (Flex) for 7/27,

- and for the self-titled album we have Sauced Up: Arlen (+ other songwriters), Make You Mad: Normally (+ other songwriters), Lonely Night: Norminah (+ other songwriters), Messy: Normally (+ other songwriters), and Bridget: Alren (+ other songwriters).

It's like you ask me to give you my interpretation on for example Who Are You. I could do it without a problem, but that song was written by 8 different heads. With the exception of the bridge that we know Lauren wrote, I can't tell you who among Camila, Dinah, Normani, Ally, Julian Bunetta, PJ Bianco, and Nasri Atweh wrote which part. Analyzing a song sung by a single artist/songwriter is completely different because the idea and concept and feelings are based on a single person. The songwriters who co-write the song together with the artist adapt to them, or maybe the idea comes to one of them, but they modify the concept together with the artist based on their personal experience, as happened for example with Consequences.

Now that you know all this, do you still want me to analyze All Again? Let me know 😄

Let's move on to More Than That.

Lauren wrote four songs in 2016, two of them were meant to be for someone else, but one of them, as we all know well, she kept it to herself. She decided to keep More Than That to herself once she modified the original lyrics along with Prince Charlez and SoundzFire, aka Hue Wayne Strother.

Intro:

“M-M-M-Murda”

This small part of the initial effect intro we hear, is simply a shoutout to Murda Beatz, one of the two producers of the song.

Verse 1:

“I see you watching so I walked into your stare

'Cause I ain't in the position to be walking over there”

She's not in the position to go there simply because she's taken, but she likes to be watched. She likes the attention she's receiving, so she puts herself in plain sight so that this person can keep looking at her.

“I got a situation, I can tell you wanna know”

This guy must have wondered: ‘Why if she's looking back at me, then she won't approach me? Is she someone who likes playing hard to get? Is she a teasing sort? Is she waiting for me to go to her? Or maybe she's in a relationship?’ Typical questions you ask yourself in that situation, and Laur summarized them all in one simple sentence.

“How you can take an honest girl and turn her to a …

If I'ma take a gamble, then you better come correct

I need more than them diamonds that you got around your neck

Shit, anybody can flex, my baby do it best

If you come with somethin' better, then we might just take it there”

The stare, the fact that this guy has the money (diamond necklace), the physical appearance, are not enough for her to push her to cheat. Because if she has to take the risk of cheating, these are certainly not the things that would drive her to do it, but she could if he had something better to offer her. [And with that, please keep in mind that Lauren is a very loyal person and that she wouldn't have done it even if this guy had gone with something better]

Pre-Chrous:

“I know I ain't right for tempting you

But I just wanna see what you would do

If I gave you a taste of what I do

Just remember that I don't belong to you”

The fact that she returned his gaze, that she spoke to him and gave him just a little taste, doesn't mean that she’s no longer taken. As I said before, she likes the attention, and although she knows that it's wrong to instigate him, she does it anyway because she's playing with him. “It's kind of more like clowning him” as she said herself.

Chrous:

“You gon' have to come stronger than this liquor

Wanna take me home, better be more convincing

It'll take more than that to get to me

More than that to get your way

Boy, you better come stronger than this liquor

Wanna take me home, better be more convincing

It'll take more than that to get to me

More than that to get your way

I'm stronger than this liquor”

During the approach in which the guy tried to ‘take her home’ for the night, Lauren easily manages to reject him despite being drunk, because her loyalty is stronger than the attraction she may have felt for him and certainly stronger than what she was drinking.

Verse 2:

“If my man notice, there’ll be some issues”

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

I'm sorry but every time I listen to this part I can literally picture Camila turning into the Incredible Hulk as we've seen many times. And shit, despite her being tiny, Mila can be scary when she's pissed off.

“But take my number down, I just might hit you

No, I'm just playing, I'm so deep in love

But the way you talkin' might just have me actin' up”

Drunken thoughts mixed with attraction/arousal blocked by common sense and loyalty.

“The way you looking at me, boy, I know what's up

I can feel how you feel without even a touch”

Let's not fool ourselves, guys. You too will have felt when a person is ready to jump your bones. To feel it in the air. To perceive it from the way they look at you, talk to you, and yes, even using excuses to innocently touch for example your arm even if the intentions are far from innocent. These kinds of things, whether you're in a relationship or not, whether you're loyal or not, and especially if you're attracted to the person in question, make you feel appreciated. They make you feel good. But:

“But don't think that's gon' make me give it up

Boy, your time is up”

But that doesn't mean, however, that you take action on it. It doesn't mean you give in to temptation. It was nice, but no thanks. Bye-bye.

Outro:

“It'll take more”

It takes more than good looks, money, and fake, shiny people from L.A.

And that's it, dear Anon 🙃 This is just a funny song about a situation that happened in a club, in which Lauren shows her flirtatious side but also her loyal side. It wasn't that good for her image, but I have an explanation for that as well.

Remember how I initially said that Lauren wrote this song to give it to someone else and then decided to keep it for herself after modifying the original lyrics? Well, in my opinion, she ‘decided to keep it’ and was even chosen as a single, simply for the narrative. It was chosen to go along with the fake love square cheating bullshit [Lauren and Ty who cheated on Lucy and Alycia to be together]. People should have believed even more that Lauren was a person capable of cheating, and this song served the purpose.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 😜 I hope I was helpful in this case too 😄 Thank you all for your asks and as usual, know that I'm available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊

Always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

[gagmebucky]

hiiii i wrote this awhile ago but took it down because i was 👉🏼👈🏼 embarrassed about it (because i do not have the skill to pull off peter parker) and sorta still am but everyone’s been so nice to me about it i thought the best way to repay the kindness by posting it for those who did like it 😅 (originally inspired by spider man 2 with andrew garfield but loosely set in the 2018 issue of the amazing spider-man.)

in which the guys are making fun of peter and accidentally see a video of him fucking you. (includes avenger!peter x girlfriend!you, peter’s pov, voyeur!steve and voyeur!bucky, a sex tape featuring d/s dynamics, bondage, praise kink, exhibitionism, unprotected sex.) 

do not repost.

—

Despite being twenty-one years old; a proper adult who lives with his high school sweetheart, a photographer doubling as a seven-year veteran vigilante in the dangers of New York, Peter Parker is still considered as a super-powered amateur to his seasoned peers. 

Nonetheless, given his success in countless battles in the state, country, world and even galaxy-wide, he more than qualifies to hold the title of Avenger; it’s official now. A laid-back induction ceremony and his very own identity card: a sturdy rectangle, shiny with full clearance and all. Yet, as an official member, his teammates still treat him like he’s that same goofy, out-of-his-depths sixteen year old.

To be fair, yes, his style of heroism isn’t the most serious. He favors levity in the face of danger, a cheeky flare with smart quips and an infuriating grin. Even after taking a beating from the worst of foes, his demeanor never wavers because in the end, he wins. The villains are slayed and the people are saved, even comforted by the boyishly confident way he works. 

But beyond that persona, he has grown into a skilled warrior. On that note, he wants to be regarded as such—at least, to a certain extent. The jokes and teasing, poking fun at his age or the shenanigans he gets himself into, don’t bother him. No, his playful wit handles it with relative ease, and he’s a good sport about it. The only thing that he’d want to see change is some recognition that he isn’t a naïve kid anymore and is fully capable of taking charge when needed.

With his recent acceptance into the gifted pantheon, he’s intent on making that known. The jesting can continue but he wants it to be with an understanding of his capabilities. Luckily, a perfect opportunity has presented itself to showcase his abilities: a training session. 

He’s late. And yes, he knows that’s probably not a good impression to make.

In his own defense, it isn’t technically his fault. He forgot that you, his personal alarm clock (amongst other things), left early this morning because you volunteered to help his aunt move. Four years of mornings and nights, he’s gotten used to—and prefers—your languorous wake-up call.

Without your reminder, he regains consciousness fifteen minutes after the scheduled time and ends up scrambling to the compound. In a flurry, he throws on his suit—unknowingly backwards, he realizes later—trips at least three times over his own footing before he finally springs out of the balcony with webbed bursts.

When he reaches his destination, Captain America and the Winter Soldier are unimpressed; mid-simulation, it powers down. Both super-soldiers whirl around to face him, fixing raised eyebrows at his disheveled arrival.

He adjusts his now front-facing suit and shuffles forward into the space with as much confidence as an interrupter can have. “H - hey, guys,” Peter greets sheepishly and manages what he hopes is a charming smile, absentmindedly fidgeting with his phone. “Lookin’ good for a couple of geezers.” 

Unfortunately, Steve Rogers is not charmed or disillusioned from the tardiness. “You’re late, Parker.” His arms fold, and he shakes his head when punctuating his disapproval with an echoing, “Again.” 

Thankfully, to his right, more relaxed and cool, Bucky Barnes steps up. “C’mon, Stevie. Y’can’t be that surprised,” he chimes in matter of factly, contrasting against his friend with amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. “What’d you expect with Parker?” He gestures at the younger superhero. “Kid’s gonna be late to his own wedding.”

(Beside the point, but worth noting, he will not be late to meeting you at the altar. That is, of course, if you accept when he pops the question. Which is going to happen relatively soon, considering he has the ring in his nightstand drawer.)

The consult seems to relax him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right and—Peter, you—seriously, man?!” Steve sputters the last bit when he glanced over to see him blatantly check the notification that’s vibrated in his hand (on the device that is ruled to be stowed away during training). “Now the phone?!” 

Even though he shouldn’t, being on thin ice with Cap and all (pun not intended), Peter’s gaze flickers down to see your contact name appear on the screen, and he can’t resist. While Bucky guffaws a laugh at his audacity, he’s swiping up to pull up your text thread. 

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:37AM: spider boyyyyy you’ll never guess what i found in a box labeled ‘peter’s junk’ ;;;)

peter, 10:37AM: those magazines are NOT mine and i don’t know how they got there.

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: not quite but close, naughty boy

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: for a man who depends on keeping secrets and a penchant for home movies, you might ought to keep a lock on your phone unless you want someone to see me like this...

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: (video attached)

Immediately, he recognizes the pornographic thumbnail. One glance, and he’s remembering the first couple of times you guys explored the exhibitionism side of things. It was at the end of his freshman year of college and taped on a phone he thought he had lost. But he must've forgotten it at his aunt’s house, and she tossed it in the box until you came along. 

Although there’s been plenty more made, he recalls that one being a shared favorite, his especially. When long-distance duty calls, it was his go-to media. The angles, your face and body beneath the lights, the sounds it caught, you once asked if he considered switching to cinematography instead of photographer

Subconsciously, his teeth run over his bottom lip, feeling that blazing spark of desire igniting in the pit of his gut, partially at the memory and partially at what’ll happen once you guys can re-watch it together; his thumbs start typing away with that message.

“Peter!” Steve’s exasperated voice snaps, but to no avail—the real gall of the youngster, or the effect of you. His weight shifts toward his best friend, and he nudges him with his elbow. “Kids these days!” The hundred-something year old’s gaze cocks a brow back over. “Is that why you were late? Blowing off training to text your girlfriend?”

The text delivers with an audible bloop. Finally, his concentration gives, and he can look up, though his expression is clueless from the last minute. “Huh?” His brain registers what he missed, and he winces. “Sorry, Cap. My bad.”

Bucky chuckles. “Give him a break, Steve,” he faux comes to his defense, a teasing quality underlying his tone. “He’s young and in love. It’s not his fault he’s pussy-whipped.” He cracks him an antagonizing grin as Peter rolls his eyes. “He can’t go an hour without sending those little weird pictures with heart eyes, or she might not know he’s thinking about her.”

“As if you know anything about romance, old man,” he fires back and presses past them with squared shoulders, correcting him quite seriously: “And they’re called emojis, by the way. But that’s not what I was doing, if you want to know so bad.”

The brunette tilts his head thoughtfully, and small hackles arise for reasons he doesn’t understand, or pay attention to. “You know, I do want to know really badly,” Bucky decides and poses a question to his left, “Wouldn’t you, too, Steve? Aren’t you curious what his girlfriend sent that was so much more important than training?”

The blond mimics his actions and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, I am.” 

Peter’s eyebrows pinch while his skin tingles and the hair on the back of his neck stands straight up. “What—” Before his senses process it, one of the super-soldiers plucks his phone out of his hands and darts back beside his best friend. His jaw drops as he tries to follow after him. “Bucky, you asshole—”

“Some spidey senses, huh?” The Winter Soldier lifts it high over his head, utilizing his six-foot stature against his five-ten like elementary school bullies do and older siblings to their juniors. “Haven’t ‘cha heard about sharing with the class?” He laughs and practically stiff-arms him to squint up at the screen. “Aw, he can’t wait to see her. What’s it been, more than two hours since you two saw each other last?” 

Conceding to the height difference, Peter stops his physical efforts and diverts it to someone reasonable. “Cap, you gonna help me out here?” he addresses the entertained onlooker in the most friendly voice he can manage. 

“The kid’s got separate anxiety not just from his girlfriend but phone too, Buck,” Steve drawls with a lopsided curve of his lips. He side-steps Peter to stand next to Bucky, and for a second, he thinks he’s on his side despite the tease, but he simply adds a stern, “So be careful. You don’t want to break it, or Parker will have a fit.”

Peter crosses his arms and scowls. “Ha, ha,” he retorts dryly, only somewhat amused by their banter. He tilts his head up at them, and the duo look thoroughly pleased with themselves. “You know, you guys are kind of dicks.”

“No, we’re your mentors, kid,” Steve corrects with a wink and rests his arm on his friend’s shoulder. “This is a lesson. No phones—” He jabs his thumb back in reference to the device’s unlocked screen: “—when you’re supposed to be training.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky chimes in upon glancing up from his phone. “And a little advice, women don’t like clinginess. Try being a little more stern and see how that works for you. If you’re able to manage that. But I won’t hold it against ya if you can’t.”

“Uh-huh,” Peter patronizes with a bob of his head, biting back a response pointing out the hundred-something year old’s inexperience. Instead, he focuses on the electronic readily loaded up with some private content. With that, he decides to do the rational and mature thing and ask nicely. “Noted. So, uh, can I have my phone back now?” 

To his shock, Bucky merely flashes a smirk and his thumb scrolls half-heartedly over the thread. Thereafter, he leans toward Steve and raises his cell for him to see. “Oh, look, it’s a video,” he teases. “What could Y/N send that would take priority of training?” 

There’s an unspoken let’s see then a metal finger taps the play button. Before Peter can think, much less react, Captain American and the Winter Soldier are watching how he effortlessly renders his pretty little girlfriend into a cute nonsensical yet eager mess— 

In his point-of-view shot, the ratio holds in portrait view in a bid to capture every bit of you. Above you, the camera focuses on you and your beautifully debauched state beneath warm lighting where it’s unalienable that the camera was made for you. 

Your eyes are dilated brightly, desperate with desire as your lashes flutter up at him. A sheen coats your features and glistens like glitter at the highest points of your face while the shape of your face is framed by your stretched arms. 

Your wrists are bound over your head, splotched with expertly sprayed strong, white webs. The mesh sticks them together in a criss-cross, comfortable but nearly impossible to break out of, fixed in place atop his headboard. The tautness tugs a mild strain on your figure so your breasts are jutting out like an offering, and it’s obvious he’s taken advantage of it. Darkened marks adorn your glowing complexion, peppered across your décolletage with imprints of his teeth; including your nipples, sucked swollen and tender. 

The angle trails down until it reveals the sight of him mercilessly pounding inside of you. His better-than-average girth is sliding in and out of your tight channel; slicked in shared translucent essence, creaming around the base, your inner walls visibly clinging to his cock with every backward stroke. His hand splays on your mound, using his thumb to abuse your engorged clit. He easily keeps the sensitive nub pinned under his control despite your wildly twisting hips. 

Like the display, the soundtrack is equally obscene. Loud, your stuffed depths gush and squelch as skin slaps rhythmically. Your breathy, wanton moans overshadow both, drawn out whimpers, almost nonsensical other than the syllable of his name. A melody of neediness, you sound so fucking pretty, (depraved, like a whore, you once told him during your little film marathon with a sly smile), and for him specifically.

The frame pans upward and confirms you look just as good. A perfect mess, unhinged by the skilled ministrations of your boyfriend. Passion beads on your forehead like reflections off of a diamond. Panting, your lips are plumped from kissing parted with mewls of pleasure. 

“P - please—I need to—can I - I please—” You’re begging like the sweet little thing you are, incoherent babbling the result of his excessive edging. Of course, you know better than to give into the sensations ravaging you; instead you ignore your visceral desire and ask him for your release. “Peter, please!” 

A deep chuckle vibrates behind the camera as his big hand slides into view, trailing over your jiggling tits to the slope of your throat. “Maybe,” he says breathily and grasps the line of your jaw between his fingers. “Open your mouth first, babe.” 

No more preamble necessary, you follow his direction, your pink tongue flat over your Cupid’s bow. Immediately, a long string of his saliva drips into view and onto your taste buds; the vulgar act is accepted with a swallow and a quivering moan of, “T - thank you.” 

“Good girl,” he praises huskily, and the voiced approval has you visibly shivering. “Alright, then, pretty girl. Make it good for me, and c’mon—”

Before your otherworldly reckoning washes over you and his teammates can watch your bliss immortalized in film, Peter snatches his property back. 

Not much force is necessary as Bucky’s grip has been stunned loose. A dark expression permeates on young hero’s face but not because of embarrassment; if he was still nineteen or eighteen, he would’ve been mortified that his titular superiors caught a depraved glimpse of his sex life, on both his and your behalf. Rather than, there’s just a flit of annoyance when he folds his arms.

“Shit,” Bucky is the first to speak, exhaling the swear raggedly. His blue pupils have widened in obvious attraction, dilated dark, blinking rapidly as if it’ll help calm him down from the clip of you, his innocent seeming girlfriend, all ruined and begging. “Parker, fuck, I - I didn’t know you got down like that.” 

There’s a swell in his chest, pride beating steadily while he remains reticent-faced. He prefers you keep your bedroom activities secluded there. Yeah, he likes to be in control and you like to be controlled but it’s only in a sexual nature. Yet, their reactions—stunned, embarrassed and viscerally affected—surges smug satisfaction he’s never known before through his veins. 

Even the prestigious Captain America is bothered, though he may try to hide it. He clears his throat, a flustered pink coloring his cheeks. “Peter, uh,” he says, barely maintaining the confidence to look him in the eye after witnessing his girlfriend like that. “We - we shouldn’t have invaded your privacy like that.” 

“Uh-huh,” is Peter’s response, a hint of a smirk curling on one side of his lips. “Why don’t you guys call me after you’re finished with your cold showers, and we can actually train. Until then, I’m gonna go to my girl who’s more than eager to handle mine.” He pauses. “Maybe if you guys ask nice enough, I might let her show you how well I’ve trained her.”

[bb8sworld]

lynn i was thinking... padawan!obi talking to qui-gon about you and he smiles, "you're in love with them." & obi gets worried because he's not supposed to develop attachments but qui-gon says, "they love you too, you know?" & gives him eyes all like, 'you should do something about it.'

pairing: padawan!obi-wan kenobi x padawan!reader

word count: 1.5k

a/n: kara…darling kara, i loved every word that you just threw at me. in return, i offer you this. it wasn’t meant to be a fic but it happened anyway.

– ☆ – ☆ – ☆ – ☆ –

Qui-Gon Jinn considered himself to be an observant man when it came to his padawan. After so many years of mentoring the young boy, he knows Obi-Wan’s tells and can read him like a book, no questions asked. Though, every once in a while, there were moments where Obi-Wan would hold nothing back, letting his true feelings surface—posh attitude, put-together appearance, and wisdom beyond his years be damned. Moments where Obi-Wan became an open book with all pages on display, large font included, for all to observe and read. Moments where Qui-Gon was reminded of just how young Obi-Wan still was and how, even though he would be nearing his Trials of Knighthood in a few years, he still had a lot of learning and growing to do; still needed Qui-Gon’s guidance and helping hand. Moments where Qui-Gon felt a sense of relief at knowing that Obi-Wan willingly would turn to him for advice instead of bottling his thoughts and feelings inside with a forced smile as he tried to be the “perfect Jedi Padawan” and what a loaded idea that was in and of itself.

This instance was one of those times.

Qui-Gon was keenly aware of the big heart Obi-Wan had and from it the great amount of care he had towards those he connected to, whether that be the other padawans, some of the other knights and masters, or Qui-Gon himself. Aware of it or not, Obi-Wan opened himself up to those he cared for and would attach himself to them without a second thought.

One thing Qui-Gon often forgot, however, was how much of a romantic Obi-Wan was. He didn’t catch feelings often, but when he did, they came hard and fast, only obvious to those who knew Obi-Wan well enough to pick up on the signs. Qui-Gon even has experienced witnessing Obi-Wan catch romantic feelings when the two were sent to Mandalore on an extended mission to protect the Duchess. This unfortunately meant he was also a witness to the silent heartbreak his padawan experienced following the conclusion of that mission. Qui-Gon had been so sure Obi-Wan would keep his heart guarded after that experience, swearing off any possibility of repeating it, but it would appear that neither of them had counted on you.

You, the current topic of discussion this evening in their quarters. You, the one who was “incredible with the lightsaber, best of all of us padawans, surely”. You, the one who “wiped the floor with me in practice today, they’re so strong and talented” as if Qui-Gon wasn’t there to witness it and knew that Obi-Wan put on an honest and fair fight. You, the one who was “so in tune with the Force, Master, it’s like it sings around them”. You, the one who had “the best story from their recent mission, did you hear about it, Master?”

You, the one who brought a shimmer of stars in Obi-Wan’s eyes and made him speak in such reverence and devotion that it was exceedingly obvious what had happened. Like it or not, Obi-Wan had developed feelings for you. Feelings unlike any that Qui-Gon had witnessed before in his padawan, not even with the Duchess of Mandalore.

Feelings Obi-Wan either didn’t know of or refused to acknowledge.

Well, if Obi-Wan needed a little nudging, Qui-Gon was more than happy to fulfill this task. His role as Jedi Master practically demanded that he do so. And he would, right after his padawan concluded his ongoing almost daily boasting about you.

“—you should’ve seen them, Master, they’re going to be a great Jedi one day, I’m sure of it,” Obi-Wan smiles brightly at Qui-Gon, heart beating ever-so-slightly faster at the thought of the day’s earlier proceedings when you and he were practicing some new lightsaber moves and you had him pinned in seconds but didn’t even gloat about your win to him. Instead, you smiled happily at him and offered your hand to help him up before praising him on his technique and how you really liked a certain move he did—one he couldn’t even remember doing because he was too enthralled by the way you moved as if your lightsaber was an extension of yourself. You were a vision to behold, and though he certainly tried his best to give a fair fight, he also knew the strength you held within was something to be admired and feared, giving you an edge over him.

“I’m sure they will be,” Qui-Gon responds casually, moving into the kitchen to make the two of them some tea, a plan forming in his head of where this conversation may go—needs to go—if he pushes Obi-Wan in the right direction. Conversations about you were becoming increasingly common, and it was about time something came from them. And so he continues, “You’re lucky to have a friend like them. They might even teach you a thing or two so you can become a better Jedi yourself.”

Obi-Wan gives his master a soft smile, watching from his seat on the sofa as Qui-Gon pours some hot water into two mugs before dropping in the tea bags of Obi-Wan’s favorite tea. Qui-Gon walks away from the counter, a mug in each hand, and offers one to his padawan. He takes a seat on the sofa next to Obi-Wan and watches as he once again gets lost in his thoughts, a look of fondness surely meant for you being sent towards the mug instead.

“I hope I can be a fraction as good as they are one day. They’re going to be the best,” he mutters this as if only to be heard by himself, but Qui-Gon catches it anyway and gives Obi-Wan a smile.

“You’re in love with them.”

It’s a simple and honest statement but it causes a bit of uproar in its wake as Obi-Wan begins to choke on the bit of tea that he swallowed, hacking away into his elbow, and Qui-Gon simply takes a sip of his own tea as if nothing happened.

“Y-You’ve got it all wrong, Master, I don’t—I’m not—” but before any excuses can be made, Qui-Gon cuts him off.

“Yes, you are. I’m your Master, Obi-Wan, I was bound to pick up on it,” Qui-Gon turns his head to make eye contact with his panicking padawan and offers what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “It’s alright to feel this way, Obi-Wan. It’s natural.”

“But the Code says—”

“I know what the Code says, padawan,” Qui-Gon holds a hand up, quieting Obi-Wan immediately, “But sometimes…the Code isn’t always all-encompassing. Sometimes we need attachments to ground ourselves, to give us something to fight for, to return to. Yes, they may make us weaker, but they can make us stronger too. It's not a life worth living if you don't make any attachments or if you don’t open yourself up to others. Don’t be afraid of your feelings, Obi-Wan. They're powerful but they're good if handled properly.”

But Obi-Wan’s still hesitating somewhere, and his eyes flicker from his mug to his Master back to his mug. There are remnants of the worried look in his eyes, not as prevalent as before, but enough to hold him back.

“They love you too, you know,” Qui-Gon tells him, ever-so patient.

Obi-Wan’s eyes immediately jump back up to Qui-Gon’s, his lips parted slightly in shock. Qui-Gon would laugh at the look on his padawan’s face if he wasn’t so amused and even a little endeared by the doe-eyed, hopeful look.

“Really? Are you certain? How do you know?” Obi-Wan rambles.

How does Qui-Gon know? The better question would be: How would Qui-Gon not know? Of your reciprocated feelings, Qui-Gon’s entirely certain because, for all that Obi-Wan stares at you, he never seems to catch you looking back at him with just as much fondness and love in your eyes. He sees the smiles exchanged between you two, the lingering touches, the bright laughter…as a Jedi he’s meant to be aware of his surroundings, keeping a particular eye on his padawan, and he wouldn’t have noticed any of these if he didn’t keep such a close eye on Obi-Wan. But he has, and he’s willing to turn a blind eye to it if it means the two of you will finally be happy together.

But he doesn’t say any of this; instead, all Qui-Gon does is smile at his padawan and before giving him a very pointed look, as if to suggest that Obi-Wan should do something about his feelings. Obi-Wan picks up what his Master is putting down and gives a little smile in return before sipping the quickly cooling tea in his hands.

Later that night when they both were “asleep,” Qui-Gon will hear the door to Obi-Wan’s room open and close as quietly as possible, followed by footsteps tiptoeing through their shared quarters, and finally the front door opening and closing. There will be no doubt in Qui-Gon’s mind that Obi-Wan will be meeting up with you in his frequent, “secret” meetings (as if Qui-Gon wasn’t aware of his padawan’s nightly rendezvous with you). And when morning comes and Obi-Wan has bags under his eyes, suggesting he came back late last night and therefore got little sleep, but has a smile that shines like the sun on his face, Qui-Gon will say nothing but squeeze his padawan’s shoulder, pride and pleasure coursing through him.

And he will have no doubt in his mind that this relationship will be good for Obi-Wan. For both of you.

[sevenfactorial]

Info about applying to PhD programs in pure math

This is... basically what it sounds like. I’m sure a lot of this is applicable to other PhD applications but I’m only very familiar with pure math. This is aimed at current seniors about to apply, but there is a section about prepping for applications in advance.

The highlights:

Recommendation letters are the most important thing. Most schools ask for 3ish. Try to get people who know you well, not just a student in the class. Someone you've conducted research with and one from a different institution are ideal if possible

Ask for rec letters at least a month before the due date is a good rule of thumb.

Research experience is probably the second most important.

Get the opinion of multiple professors who know you in order to build a list of potential schools. Then widdle it down to your will-actually-apply list (probably 8-14 ish). 

My opinion but please apply to at least 3-4 safety/match schools. Even when you're fully qualified, acceptance rates are simply low enough that a bit of bad luck means getting rejected or waitlisted from a few of them.

Most pure math due dates are in early-mid Dec but a few schools are in Nov and some are as late as mid-Jan. 

Schools will generally have their own graduate application portals. Some are better organized than others. Some require you to submit all your material before you can send a request for submitting rec letters so plan accordingly.

Acceptance letters will very slowly start going out in mid-Feb but the vast majority of programs won't send out anything until like, March and not be done until later than that. Accordingly, wait until at least mid-March to begin freaking out if you haven't been accepted anywhere.

You should 100% be expecting a tuition waiver and stipend from a program if you're applying for a PhD.

The rest of the posts is.... ridiculously long so I’m putting it under a cut. I mention things to do in advance to help you decide if grad school is right for you and things that make your application look good, give a full time line of the process, a list of things applications commonly ask for, and some miscellaneous notes. (The points above are repeated in more detail).

In addition, some links to other resources math students may appreciate:

an old post of mine about grad school apps (overlaps a lot and features some ranting from during the application process)

about REUs including my addition specifically about math ones

summer programs for undergrads that aren’t REUs by @counter-example and @jungleuniversity

Tips for prospective grad student visits 

Also about prospective grad student visits by @thisurlhasbeenleftasanexercise

Also for context, I went to a large state school in the US for undergrad. I started as a CS major and added on math as a secondary major after my first year and dropped CS during third year. I’m primarily interested in discrete and algebra, though I have a significant topology background from undergrad too. I got most of my advice from people around the department, as I became pretty involved during my third year. Now, I’m a first year grad student at another large state school in the US, generally considered pretty decent though not a “top math program” at all. Not that much else has happened so far.

Things in advance (aka things to help you decide if grad school is for you and things that look good on an application)

Take the standard classes. For pure math, this is at least one semester of linear alg, abstract alg, and analysis each. Linear and analysis are also good for applied math but I'm not sure what else if anything is considered standard.

Take some grad classes if you have the option. Most people are not ready for this until senior year, but some do manage as juniors. Talk to people who know you well and the prof teaching the class before you do this though.

Try to get involved with research whether this is through independent studies at your home institution, REUs, internships, or other stuff.

Be involved in your department. This helps with getting you more personalized advice for applying.

The rough suggested timeline (assuming junior yr is your second to last year and senior is your last of undergrad)

Junior April: Take the math subject GRE so you can take it again in Sep or Oct if desired (perhaps not applicable atm). The general can be taken kinda whenever; I suggest fall of senior year.

Junior April/May: Start talking to professors/post docs/mentors/etc. about programs you may be interested in. Write/type it down. Don't worry if it gets long, you will shorten again later.

Summer: Do some research if possible; an REU or research at your institution (if an REU, also get your mentor's opinion on potential schools towards the end as well)

Senior Sep: Start whittling down your list. 8-14 seems to be the "normal" range of schools to apply to but some people panic and do more. Remember that asking for waivers is completely acceptable but applying is still just generally expensive (I spent around $800 for 10 schools)

Senior Sep: Apply for the NSF GRFP. You can apply as an undergrad senior and once during your first or second year of grad school if you didn't already get it. The due date is in mid-late OC but ideally you'll have a draft of your essays and ask for rec letters by the end of Sep, if not earlier.

Senior early Nov: Ask for rec letters if you haven't already. The rule of thumb is a month before the due date. Provide them a list of schools you want to apply to including due date and where/how to submit as soon as possible (as well as anything else they request of course; many ask for a resume and a draft of your personal statement).

Senior Dec-Jan: Submit stuff! Pure math programs typically have deadlines in Dec or early Jan. I think the big days are Dec 10th, Dec 15th, and Jan 15th but some are earlier or later. (applied math masters tend to be earlier I think; in Nov). I suggest putting them all into a list or calendar. In addition, some schools won't let letter writers submit until all of your stuff is submitted so start applications early, even if you don't finish them immediately.

Senior Feb: Programs will slowly start sending out offers in early Feb and pick up in mid Feb, but don't fret until AT LEAST the beginning of March! Grad programs are just way too slow at getting out offers for it to be worth worrying until then (and even then, it's definitely not time to panic but mathematicians are frequently anxious people so I get it). Waitlists are slower to come out; usually starting in early March. Also note, there are many programs that don't actually send out replies to everyone unfortunately.

Senior late Feb-early April: prospective student days! They might be online in 2021 unfortunately but try to attend whatever form they're in if you can (only one of my visits during spring 2020 was online since the others happen to be very early and safely beat covid in the US). Be warned, it's very possible to get offers of admissions and to visit very last minute. I do not have advice for how to make that less stressful.

Senior April 15th: Common reply deadline. If you got your offer in the first round or two, this is probably your deadline to accept. In addition, this means more offers will likely come out shortly after once more people have declined. 

Senior summer: graduate. Send a completed, official transcript to your new institution. Check your new email account for stuff you're suppose to do. Some programs have some sort of program during the summer for in-coming students. Most places have graduate student training of some sort for a week or two before semester starts. 

Some common things to be asked for in applications

Not actually a thing asked for but many graduate schools have their own portal for which you will have to make an account to submit an application. A few use a common system that kinda sort shares a database of accounts? Some are fine and some massively suck.

Personal Statement/Statement of Purpose: Occasionally called something else and once in a while actually separate things; will usually have a prompt of wildly differing specificity. Sometimes, the prompts come from the department itself and sometimes from the university's graduate school. I suggest having one or two "base" essays then tweaking them for each school. Sometimes a word/page limit is specified but if it's not, around 2 pages/1000 words is pretty reasonable.

Transcript. Some accept unofficial but some require official but generally not an unsealed one. I ordered myself one official transcript and sent it to multiple schools instead of paying for them to be sent to each school during the application process.

Resume or CV: Most ask for either a CV or is fine with either, in which case I give them my CV. I sent more or less the same one everywhere.

Some other notes

Yes, ask for application waivers. Just be polite about it.

Your goals for your essays are primarily to show that you're interested in math and math research and are capable of like…. writing things that make sense

Do not start out an essay with either "I loved math since I was little" or "I actually didn't like math when I was young" or any variations of those. (I had one essay that started with a mildly humourous anecdote from undergrad combinatorics and another that talked about how my undergrad department has greatly affected me).

You should 100% expect to get a tuition waiver and living stipend as part of a TA fellowship (or more rarely, an research fellowship) as part of your offer of acceptance for a math PhD program (pure or applied). Health insurance is also frequently part of the package. This is not true of masters programs unfortunately.

How schools do waitlists depend wildly though most don't have super long ones like prestigious undergrads do. If you're still interested in a place you're waitlisted at, follow their instructions to confirm your placement on the waitlist then wait until April before following up again, expressing your continued interest and asking for an update. You might even want to wait until around the common deadline, April 15th. The number of people who declined before April is just really really low so nothing really happens until then.

[knightofameris]

jar of stars — peter parker (p. iii)

Setting: After homecoming, but during the sophomore year of high school Gender: Neutral Contains: Flufffffffff, a little bit of angst but honestly not really lol. Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: (Y/n) has a thing for paper stars. They also have a thing for Peter Parker but then an itsy bitsy spider comes ‘round and practically plays matchmaker.

a/n: Let me know if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes or if I accidentally say ‘she/he’ instead of the gender neutral ‘they’.

So, I finished this months after starting this and I’m posting this a few weeks after finishing it. It’s a little rushed towards the end since I kinda lost inspiration. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this series! I have two more series (6-part and 8-part w/ epilogue coming up but I have no clue when they’ll be finished.

p. i || p. ii || here!

Enjoy!  [repost from old account]

❝ the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed                     that one eyebrow that defied gravity           it was like you were falling for him all over again ❞

“You can’t just take someone, swinging through the buildings of Queens, Peter!” Tony yelled, gesturing his entire arm out. Peter walked up towards his mentor in his outfit, his arms out as he tried to explain himself.

“Yeah but Mr. Sta-”

“A bup bup bup!” Tony raised a finger up in the air, effectively shutting Peter up who could only tighten his mouth in a straight line. “I’m talking here. Peter, I know you like this person a lot. (Y/n) right? What was it that you said to me about keeping your identity a secret?”

“To keep my loved ones safe.” They both said at the same time.

“Exactly,” Tony walked up towards Peter and wrapped an arm around the young teen. The two began to walk towards the car set outside the compound, ready to drive Peter home. “Someone could easily snap a picture and (Y/n) would be attached to your alter ego. I know you’re terrified to ask them out as - well - you,” Tony gestured towards Peter’s entire body.

“Wait, what do you mea-”

“But you’re going to have to. And not play around as Spider-Man to do so. Pepper is always in danger because of me. And trust me, I hate it. I’ve pushed her away in the past a few times and all of those who have been close to me because I’m scared of them getting hurt. You don’t need that on your conscience that young, if at all. I really - and I mean it - I really think you should stop talking to them. As Spider-Man, anyways.”

Peter  pursed his lips as he took in everything Tony said. Nodding his head, he said, “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll stop talking to them. As Spider-Man.” The two of them finally reached the black car, Happy already in the drivers seat.

Tony reached over to open the door for Peter and then patted his back. “I knew you were a smart kid, Parker.” Peter smiled up at Tony as he got into the car.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“Uh, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Tony?” Tony quirked a brow and pointed at the boy seated in the car. “Oh, whatever, just get home safe or May will kill me.”

Tony patted the top of the car once the door shut and watched until the car left his line of vision.

Peter looked inside your room, watching as you worked on some stars while binging a show. He probably should knock, since this was kind of creepy, but you just looked so calm. No worries in the world. However, he raised his hand and rapped two knuckles on the window. You jolted a bit in your seat, looking at the window only to smile in relief when you recognized his mask.

You took off your earbuds and got up to open the window. You leaned out of it staring at the whites of his mask.  

“It’s late, what are you doing?” You asked, smiling and recalling the earlier events of the day. You couldn’t read the emotions etched on his face, but the way his body shifted side to side and how he moved his head to the side you could sense that something was up. You frowned. “Spider-Man?”

“Sooo, Mr. Stark caught me taking you through Queens.” He scratched the back of his neck, still not meeting your eyes. “He said I shouldn’t do that, or talk to you as Spider-Man. And I think so too. It can put you in serious danger if one of my enemies caught me with you and I don’t want to be the reason you get hurt. I’m really sorry and I hope you understand.” He began to walk away and raised his arm up to head back home but you reached out towards him, grasping onto his arm.

“Wait!” You urged. He glanced back at you. “Just, wait for a second.” You let go of his arm and ran into your room. Digging under your bed, you reached for a certain jar and ran back to the window. You held out the Spider-Man themed jar to him.

“It-It makes sense,” you said, “to stop talking to me. I get it. And as much as it sucks, I’m glad I got to know you. So at the very least, take this. You know, to remember me.” He gingerly took it out of your grasp and adired the spider design on the side.

He looked up into your eyes, “Thank you.”

You choked back a few tears before you said, “Good luck in life. And stay safe.”

Peter smiled. “I will. Thank you, (Y/n). For being a big part of my life. Make sure to tell Peter by the way.”

You nodded your head in response, not trusting your voice, before he jumped off the fire escape and into the night. You sighed, glancing up at the night sky. You weren’t met with the twinkling of stars, for they did not shine that night.

The dark circles under your eyes would not go away, no matter how much concealer you tried to put on. That much was evident to all your friends.

MJ frowned and furrowed her brows as she put an arm around you. “Dude, why do you look like you were up all night studying.”

Not wanting to tell the truth you replied, “Because I was?”

“Dude, (Y/n), you’re going to be fine,” Ned said, nudging you slightly with his elbow. You made sounds of protests in response but then quickly looked over at Peter. He was deathly quiet and usually would rush over to you the moment he knew you were killing yourself over school. But he looked just as tired, he was just lucky he didn’t have dark circles as evident as yours.

No one knew that you were close friends with the hero of Queens. Not even MJ but she knew something was up when you’d stop replying to her texts or wouldn’t hang out with her at night. So it’s not even like you could tell someone how you’ve been feeling since he cut you off.

It sucked. But you knew that it was because of how it could put you in danger. But there was still that voice in the back of your head wondering if he just cut you off because he was tired of you. Insecurities of yours wandered around in your head for the rest of the day.

You sat next to Peter with Ned, Cindy, and a few others, at the lab table in physics. Your head on the desk, looking at Peter’s well defined profile. You were thankful that Mrs. Warren didn’t assign any work after the AP exams; it meant you could sleep. But for some reason, even though you were extremely tired, you just watched Peter play card games with the rest of the group. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed at something stupid. That one eyebrow that defied gravity. It was like you were falling for him all over again.

Maybe you should follow Spider-Man’s advice. Even if he never spoke to you again, you trusted him.

Your eyes began to close, listening to the voices of your friends and Peter’s laugh lulled you into dreamland.

The annoying sound of your alarm caused you to groan as you rolled over to slam the snooze button on your phone. You closed your eyes again as you drifted off into dreamland but the alarm that was set five minutes after went off causing you to groan again.

Your drowsy eyes slowly opened up as you rubbed your face with your hands. Tossing the blankets to the side, you groggily got up to get ready for school. You really regretted staying up to finish a season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before the last day of school. Nah, it was so worth it.

It had been about a week and a few days since Spider-Man cut everything off with you. But with how it was the last day of school, you figured you should end it following his advice.

So there you were, standing in front of your jar-shelf trying to pick a confession jar. Which one would Peter like the most?

“It’s Peter, he wouldn’t care which one. Just if he got one,” you thought. And you knew you were right but the other voice kept saying otherwise. It wasn’t until your dad yelled at you saying you were going to be late, again, that you grabbed a random one and ran off to catch the subway.

The last day of school went off without a hitch. Unfortunately, you didn’t see Peter all day or even after school. Block schedule for finals were the worst.

“So you’re finally doing it?” Michelle asked as she walked you to the station.

You nodded your head, “Yeah, I haven’t seen him all day and Ned hasn’t either. So I’ll probably stop by his place since it’s on the way to mine.”

“Alright, doesn’t sound to bad. Tell me how it goes, loser,” Michelle smirked and you rolled your eyes, punching her shoulder lightly as she walked off to her train to take.

“I’ll text you tonight, get home safe, ho bag!” You called out, ignoring the looks from the older adults around you. You smiled to yourself as you got onto the train and shifted around to look for a seat, only to realize you were going to have to stand this time around. Again. Which was fine.

You gripped one of the handles as you pulled out your phone to check your messages. Replying quickly to a few friends, you pulled up Peter’s chat and let him know that you were stopping by. You shoved your phone back into your pocket and took a deep breath for what was to come.

You knocked on Peter’s apartment with two fingers and went back to grasp the straps of your backpack to ease your nerves. You waited for a bit and then heard a ruckus on the other side, only to see May open up holding a rag. She paused and then burst into a smile as she realized it was you.

“(Y/n)! It’s so nice to see you,” she gushed, ushering you into the apartment. You smiled up at her, your eyes flickering over to Peter’s door as you talked.

“Yeah, it’s been a while Mrs. Parker!” You brushed a hand through your hair.

“Oh,” she waved the rag nonchalantly, “just call me May. You’re probably here for Peter, you can just walk in, he just got back from school.” You nodded your head and thanked her before heading over into his room, taking out the jar from your bag.

You knocked a few times before clasping your hand around the doorknob and let yourself in. You suddenly became more aware of the jar that sat in your hands when you made eye contact with Peter who looked up at you from his bed on his phone. He jolted out of his bed and fixed his hair from tossing around in his bed.

“(Y/n), I just got your message,” he breathed out. Smiling as he moved around his room trying to clean up his slight mess. As he shuffled things around on his desk you couldn’t help but notice an oddly familiar jar that sat perched on it. Your face scrunched up in confusion and you tilted your head as you tried to recall the star jar that sat on his desk.

Peter looked up at you, “So, what do you need to-”

“Holy shit.”

The jar in your hand would have shattered if it hit the floor. But Peter reached forward fast enough to catch it before it did.

Peter probably should have realized you’d figure it out, that he was Spider-Man. So when he glanced up at your frozen figure, worry flooded over him.

“Peter?” You asked sternly, your finger pointing at the jar you had given him, or Spider-Man, weeks earlier. He followed your eyes that were looking in the same direction as your finger then back up at you.

“Yeah?”

“Are you Spider-Man?”

“Yes?”

“Oh, okay. Well, that jar’s for you. You should open it.” You walked out of his room, closing his door for a second. Peter stood there watching you leave, his mouth agape. Glancing down at the jar, realizing that you had followed his advice, then up to see your back about to leave his apartment, he set down the jar on his desk and ran after you.

“(Y/n), wait!” Peter called for you, jumping over the couch and setting his hand on your shoulder. You stopped mid-step but didn’t turn around to face him. “I - uh - I don’t know what to say.”

You closed your eyes, unsure of how to feel. “I liked you.”

Peter tilted his head and pulled his hand away from your shoulder. “Liked?”

You chuckled and moved your head down a bit. “I liked you, you know. Spider-Man. And you. God, I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Relieved? That I wasn’t confused on who I liked? Happy? Because it’s you.  Or mad? Since you essentially used Spider-Man to get to me. Kind of broke my heart when Spider-Man stopped talking to me and when you got too busy with the Stark Internship to even make time for me or Michelle or Ned!” You brought your arm up to your face, wiping away stray tears.

Peter stood there and pursed his lips. His eyes watering a little bit since he was frustrated at himself for doing this to you.

You opened your mouth, about to tell Peter you were going to leave when you heard him talk.

“I’m sorry.” He shifted his weight on his feet and you turned to face him. “I am so, so, sorry about the distress I put you through.” He looked into your eyes, occasionally glancing elsewhere. “I shouldn’t have  to use Spider-Man to get close to you like that. I should have made more time for you as me. I just-uh-I should have told you about Spider-Man. And I’ll make it up to you! Because talking to you again as Spider-Man made me so ecstatic. I thought-I thought you hated me. You never gave me a jar and-and I was always scared. Scared to talk to you as me. So-so-so I thought,” Peter waved his arms around, not really looking at you by the time he got here, “I thought Spider-Man would be easier to talk to you. And it was-”

You wrapped your arms around him into a hug. “You talk wayyy too much Parker. I get it. It still doesn’t make it right though.” Peter smiled and you felt his arms wrap around you.

“I know. I’ll make it up to you.” Peter nuzzled his face into your hair.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” you slightly moved away from Peter looking up at him. “I trust you.” Peter grinned. “Now, you just gotta fill me in on everything.”

“I will.”

[bssaz97]

I have to ask how did Qrow and Juanes family react to the kids in Missing for a Year

Missing For A Year Part 3

Ruby: “Miss Goodwitch, thank you so much!” *Large Anime Tears fall down her face*

Glynda: “You’re welcome Miss Rose, although I do recommend keeping a closer watch of your children while at events in the future.”

Both Ruby and Jaune nodded rapidly to her sound advice, who will make sure to take the advice to heart.

Ruby/Jaune: “We promise we will!”

Glynda: “Good. Now.” *lifts up her riding crop directly at the ice block*

*CRACK!*

The ice prison around the two newlyweds had been broken apart, freeing them so that the two can freely move again. Much to the joy of the two leaders and displeasure of a disgruntled ice queen.

Qrow: *approaching* “Well I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Does it kiddo.”

Ruby: “Uncle Qrow!” *petal bursts out of the ice cube and launches herself at him*

Qrow: “Oof!” *catches her while laughing* “Geez pipsqueak! I’m not as young as I use to be, you could be a little gentler...”

Ruby: “Sorry I’m just so excited to see you again!”

Qrow: *hugs her tightly* “Yeah me too.”

Ruby: “I’m sorry it took so long.” *hangs head in shame*

Qrow: “Hey none of that alright. What’s happened has happened, no use in crying over spilled milk. Just seeing that you’re alive and well is all I need.”

Ruby: “You too. I know we’ve been gone for awhile but we missed you all so very much and I wished we could’ve come back sooner to you all.”

Qrow: “Well maybe remember to stamp your letters next time.” *he jokes*

Ruby: “It was a honest mistake!”

Qrow: *laughs and ruffles her hair* “Whatever you say kiddo.”

Ruby: “Meanie...to think I almost named one of my children after you.”

Qrow: “Probably a good call that you didn’t. Don’t need to have a kid named after me until I’m at least in the grave.”

Ruby: “Oh ha-ha.”

Jaune finished swiping of all the ice residue on his person then rubs his hands together rapidly to warm them up. Being trapped in a large ice cube wasn’t very comfortable in the least. His mother helps her son by removing her scarf and wrapping it around his hands.

June: “Are you alright sweetie?”

Jaune: “Yeah just a bit frosty.”

Yang: “...Did he?”

Taiyang: “I think he just did.”

Jaune: “What? I can make puns too. You all didn’t originate them.”

Taiyang: “Ok fair enough.”

Jaune: “Oh yeah by the way...are we cool?” *gestures between himself and his father-in-law*

Taiyang: “Well considering that you pretty much married my daughter behind our family’s back, I should be furious. But since you’ve already made me a grandfather I can’t really stay mad at you.”

Jaune: “Really?”

Taiyang: “No.”

Jaune: “Figured.”

Taiyang: *laughs* “Relax kid, I’m just messing with you. Glad to have you in the family.”

Jaune: “Thanks.” *smiles*

June: “Speaking of grandchildren...YOINK!” *takes an infant Rowan/Summer from Taiyang and Yang*

Taiyang/Yang: “Hey!”

June: “Hello my little darlings~ I’m so happy to meet you two. Look at how big you two are already. I’m your Granny June and I love you both so much! Oh you’re both so cute~” *she coos as she cradled the two infants rocking them to and fro*

Jaune: “Uh mom, I know you’re excited about your new grandchildren but you should really-.”

June: “Oh come now Jaune I’ve raised eight kids including you so I think have this under-!”

Summer: *gurgling noises with her face turning green*

June: “...oh no.” *face paled*

*BLEEEGH!*

What Jaune tried to warn his mother about was that Summer was unfortunately cursed with his inherited motion sickness. As such Summer did not like to be rocked otherwise it would lead to her spit up all over said person’s shirt.

June: “....oh dear.” *looks down at her ruined dress*

Ruby: *gasp!* “Mrs. Arc I’m so sorry!” *grabs a tissue and tries to clean it off*

Jaune: “I tried to warn you.”

June: “That’s ok, this isn’t something I haven’t gone through before. Although I would be more than grateful if you could take back these two while I get cleaned up.” *handing their babies back to them*

Ruby: “Are you sure you don’t want me to help? I feel really bad.”

June: “It’s alright dear. I’ve raised eight children after all, so there’s nothing to worry about. Jaune, be a dear and introduce your children to the rest of the family before your sisters complain about not seeing their new niece and nephew, ok?”

Jaune: “Sure.”

As June Arc was making her leave most, of not all of Jaune’s sisters swarmed them just as she said they would.

Rouge: “Oh my goodness look at you two!”

Saphron: “You’re so small and look so cute!”

Vert: “What’s their names little bro?”

Jaune: “Uh, This is Rowan and Summer.” *points at each of his children*

Bleu: “Do they have all their necessary shots?” *adjusts her glasses*

Jaune: “What? No, they’re barely three months old!”

Noir: “Why didn’t you tell us you two eloped?”

Blanc: “And how did you get pregnant so fast?”

Ruby: “W-Well we wanted to marry after the war so that’s what we did.”

Violet: “How can you tell which is a boy and girl?”

Arc Siblings/Ruby: .....

Violet: “What? It’s a legitimate question.” *shrinks in embarrassment*

Nicholas: “Girls.”

At the sound of his voice all the Arc women made way for the patriarch of their family. He walked towards the brand new couple/parents, his towering figure nearly encompassing them in shadow.

Nicholas: “Son.”

Jaune: “Hey Dad...long time no see. Heh”

Arc Sisters: *winces*

Terra: *facepalms*

Ruby: *whispering* “Really?”

Jaune: “Uhhh. So! ...How are you?”

Saphron: *mouthing ‘NO!’*

Jaune: “I mean. What I mean to say is-!”

Nicholas: “Stop.” *raises his palm*

Jaune: 0x0

Nicholas: “What’s done is done. There’s no use to bringing up the past.”

Jaune: “Right...”

Nicholas: “But I am very happy to see you alive.....and apparently with a wife and children.” *rests his raised hand on Jaune’s shoulder*

Jaune: “...Thanks Dad.”

Nicholas: *nods then removes his hand* “So if I heard correctly, this one is Rowan and this one is Summer right?” *gestures to the two infants*

Ruby: “Yessir. My tiny little blessings.”

Nicholas: “...heh. I see you’ve adopted June’s nicknaming habit.”

Ruby: “Yep.”

Nicholas: “Mm. Looks like you have a keeper my son.”

Jaune: “I’m lucky to have her.” *one arm hugged Ruby*

Ruby: *smiles*

Nicholas: “Good. Don’t do anything stupid to mess it up. You hear me boy.”

Jaune: “Wouldn’t dream of it sir.”

Rowan/Summer: “Ahh!” *make curious baby noises*

Nicholas looks down to see both Rowan and Summer then bends his knees, lowering his large frame to look into the little ones. They looked at the older Arc curiously, looking at his aged but still strong facial features and Summer was brave enough to reach out touch the older man’s beard. This caused Summer to giggle as the hair tickled her tiny fingers, causing Nicholas to laugh softly at the child’s pure laughter. Rowan followed soon after Summer and he giggled as well once he felt Nicholas’ beard.

Nicholas: “Hello little ones, I am your grandpa. I am pleased to meet you.” *he said with what could be called a genuine smile*

Ruby: “ohhhh” *she watches the display in amazement* <3

Qrow: “WOW Nicky, I think you just made a genuine smile on your face.”

Nicholas: “Qrow...”

Qrow: “Hey don’t scare the babies now! They’re impressionable.” *while smirking*

Ruby: “Qrow be nice.” *she chides her honorary uncle/mentor*

Qrow: *raises his hands in mock surrender*

Ruby: “Hey Rowan, look this my Uncle Qrow. Isn’t he cool?”

Rowan: *head tilts* “Ah?”

Ruby: “Yes he’s the coolest uncle ever. You want him to hold you?”

Qrow: “Uh Ruby I don’t-.”

Ruby: “Here you go.” *moves Rowan into his arms*

Qrow: “Wait Ruby don’t-! Ok here we go. Uh hey there kid. Nice to...meet you.”

Rowan: ....

Ruby: “It’s ok Qrow, he’s only a baby. He won’t bite.”

Qrow: “Right. Um, heh, You look a lot like your mom. Kinda surprised that your supposed to be the boy.”

Rowan: .... *hrk!* *BLEGH!*

Qrow eyes widen but it was already too late, all he could do was look down and see that Rowan had just spit up all over his new shirt. Both parents gave nervous looks but also tried not to laugh at Qrow’s expense. Taiyang, Yang, Nicholas, and the seven Arc sisters, however, did not follow their example, laughing their guts out.

Rowan: *giggles and points at Qrow*

Qrow: “Oh now you find me funny. Don’t ya, you lil’ gremlin.” *eye twitches*

Ruby: “Hey I’m sure he didn’t mean to do that!”

Yang: “Hahahaha! I don’t know Ruby, he seemed pretty determined to puke all over Qrow!” *covering her mouth*

Qrow: “Well at least I know you’re your Mother’s kid. You’re a brat through and through.”

Ruby: “Hey!”

June: “Ok I’m back what did I-...Oh dear. Apparently both children have motion sickness.”

Nicholas: “No dear, it’s just the boy knows how to get back at others.” *he smiles in pride of his progeny*

-Fin-

A/N: Boy did this one take me awhile to get done. I had a lot of ideas for how this were to go and tried to fit them all in so hope I met your expectations. Thanks again for your support! 😊

P.S. I did my best to make names for the remaining Arc sisters and I decided to simplify and translate the names of the girls in accordance to their color from the portrait we saw in Volume 6 in Saphron’s house. Also keep in mind I have no idea what the age difference is just know I did my best and this will be my head canon until proven otherwise.

Rouge = Eldest (Red w/ Short Hair)

Saphron = Second (Orange that was Upside down. Her name is closer to orange so yeah)

Vert = Third (Green)

Blanc/Noir = Twins (Ok so they had blue bows but the also look to be wearing black and white so I went with that to avoid confusion)

Bleu = Sixth (Blue w/ Glasses)

Violet = Neña (Violet, no brainer)

Jaune = Youngest (Yellow. Ok so he appears to be the youngest from the photo as most of the time the most recent child is at the center of most family pictures. But again I could be wrong but I stand by what I said until CRWBY says otherwise...probably)

[himarifuruya]

Diamond Light [ That's the Tea ]

Preface: Diamond Light is a non-linear series of stories based around my OC Himari Furuya and her relationship with Tamaki Amajiki or Suneater.

TW: Chapters may contain Rated M [18+] content, such as graphic sexual content, canon typical violence and gore, body horror and explicit language.

Chapter Summary: Tamaki catches up with his friends and gains some unexpected insight.

Tamaki was in burnout.

Over these past weeks, he had been so exhausted. Ever since his work study had begun, he wanted to do nothing but go home and sleep. If he wasn’t on patrols, training, or studying for his classes, he was a living vegetable. His tired, aching body didn’t want to do anything besides lay in bed and waste the hours away.

It hadn’t been an unpleasant time though, working in Fat Gum’s agency had been a highlight in many ways. Though his mentor could be a tad overwhelming for his taste, he couldn’t have asked for a better one. He especially didn’t mind the partnership he formed with the ghostly hero, Wraith - who had despite her eccentric nature, provided valuable support during their missions.

Still, he could use a break.

On one of his free days, he agreed to go out with his friends. Nejire opted that the three of them should go to her favorite tea shop, saying that they have some of the best and most flavorful blends. He couldn’t deny that it sounded refreshing, especially after such a demanding week.

Lately, their schedules hadn’t been matching up, which had made hanging out difficult. Even at school, it seemed like they were always on the go. For Tamaki, it had been a little lonely, but he was happy to know that his friends felt the same. When the opportunity rose for them to get together, they immediately took advantage of it, like an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Once seated at the booth with their drinks, they began to play catch up.

He listened quietly as his friends chatted animatedly about their progress in their work study. Despite the hard work they endured, they both sounded happy with their respective agencies. Mirio spoke proudly of his mentor that he called “Sir,” with high enthusiasm, while Nejire couldn’t keep herself from gushing about the dragon hero Ryukyu. It made him smile fondly, knowing that they were having such a good time.

“How about you, Tamaki? How’s your work study going?” Mirio asked suddenly, nudging him with his elbow, causing the chimera hero to gulp on his drink loudly,

“It’s been okay…I guess…” He wanted to stop there, but he could feel his friends’ prying eyes on him, expecting further exposition.

Letting out a reluctant sigh, he continued. “Fat Gum is great and has been really helpful over these past few weeks. He’s always giving advice and loads of encouragement...perhaps a little too much praise from my perspective, but I─ really shouldn’t be complaining. We’ve been learning quite a bit.”

“We?” Mirio questioned.

A wave of warmth rose to his cheeks. “Uh…yeah, th-there’s a-a really nice girl there too she’s uh…um…o-oh no…” He face-planted into the wall beside him miserably. “…I’m such an idiot that I-I never got her real name.”

Mirio and Nejire exchanged sly looks.

"Is she cute?" they blurted in unison, catching the young Amajiki offguard.

“Don’t ask me that…” He grumbled. “All I know is that her hero name is Wraith…”

“Oh, you mean Himari Furuya?”

Tamaki’s head lifted. “Wait… You know her?”

“Yep! She was at the Sports Festival, don’t you remember?” Nejire asked

“E-eh - I g-guess I should, but I - well - I was kind of busy having a panic attack,” he mumbled.

“Oh yeah…” Nejire hummed softly with a tilt of the head, her laissez faire tone and relaxed expression easing the discomfort of admitting such a thing.

“Isn’t she also the daughter of Monochrome?” Mirio inquired.

“Monochrome…?” Tamaki was vaguely familiar with that name from some tabloids. If he recalled correctly, Monochrome was one of the more elusive heroes that stayed out of the public eye for the most part. Very few have ever met him in person.

Nejire bobbed her head. “Yeah, crazy right? They look nothing alike too, like night and day.”

“There’s a lot of rumors about that guy too...like really morbid ones.” Mirio remarked, scratching his chin. “I don’t know how true they are, but even some heroes are leery of him.”

“Why’s that?” Tamaki asked.

Mirio’s brows drew together, trying to find the right words to explain. “His quirk…he can absorb negative energies and use that to manipulate the things around him.”

Tamaki leaned in, growing more curious. “That’s quite the ability.”

“But how is that a bad thing? If he’s removing negativity, isn’t that beneficial? Wouldn’t that make any bad occurrence into a good one?” Nejire wondered aloud with her teacup held between her hands methodically.

“It does sound like a positive thing, doesn’t it? But, sadly, it isn’t that simple.” Mirio’s smile weakened as he went on. “Unfortunately, he can only store so much of that energy, so if he isn’t using it consistently, there can be some severe consequences if it leaks out. To put it simply, he isn’t exactly a lucky charm.”

Tamaki frowned deeply. “That’s pretty awful… I don’t even want to imagine the burden that could bring…”

Mirio hummed in accordance. “As long as he keeps it in check, there isn’t much to worry about, but that liability is always there.”

“I guess that makes sense, there’s pros and const to every quirk.” Nejire said, lowering her cup from her lips. “One way or another, we all have to figure out how to use the cards we are delt.”

"Oh!" Mirio suddenly blurted. "He can levitate, too."

"O-oh," Tamaki uttered in response. He glanced away for a moment, before a thought came to mind. He turned back to the blonde, uttering, "how do you know all this?"

"I heard about it at Nighteye's agency," Mirio replied brightly.

"I see," Tamaki replied softly, looking down at his tea again. It seemed that Nejire had refilled it while he wasn't looking.

"Does..." Tamaki began, trailing off as he mentally debated if he wanted to utter such a thought aloud. Furuya was a peer, someone he admired in her heroism, but who he barely knew. Yet, he couldn't help but wonder-

"...that mean he's often away, o-on missions?" Tamaki finished softly, glancing between his friends.

Nejire hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose so..."

Mirio added on more firmly, "I've heard he works a lot."

Tamaki looked back down, his lips pulled tight. So, then, did that mean Furuya was alone a lot...?

As if reading his mind, Mirio raised his cup and continued. “But, there’s a lot of unknowns, so we should be careful not to jump to conclusions.” There was a liveliness beaming in his blue irises, he looked at Tamaki, saying pointedly. “It’s better to get the information straight for the source.”

The color in the hero’s face drained. “L-Like – ask her d-directly? I-I don’t think I have the courage to do that…”

“I think he’s implying that it would be good to befriend her,” Nejire suggested kindly. Her expression lit up with a jovial smile. “Seems like it could be fun.”

Mirio nodded, following her statement with, “she’s in the other class, so it might not be as easy to meet up, but I’m sure we could work around it. What do you think, Tamaki?”

“I-I don’t know, I do like working with her…but – but I don’t want to m-make her feel uncomfortable - or think w-we only doing it out of p-pity.” While he appreciated their eagerness, he didn’t want to take Mirio’s warning lightly.

“Hm, that’s true too…” Nejire mused aloud, she leaned back into the cushion of the booth, twirling a periwinkle curl around her finger. “But, it doesn’t have to be forced either.”

“Exactly, it can happen organically – I mean, you want to be closer to her, right?” Mirio drawled.

The suggestiveness in his tone sent a blistering heat to Tamaki’s face. “E-Eh …? W-Well…y-yes, but w-why do y-you have to make it weird, Mirio!”

The blond chuckled, “sorry, but you left yourself open, dude.”

“Anyway…,” Nejire began, bringing them back on topic, “I’ve been wanting to get to know more people from class B, so this will be a great way to do that!”

“For sure, they are our future comrades after all,” Mirio agreed. “So, don’t think too hard about it, buddy.”

Tamaki’s shoulders slumped, pressing his lips together into a wobbly line. “Urk…w-when you point it out like that, i-it only makes it harder not to… - b-but, I’ll try.”

The trio polished off a few more pots of tea before going their separate ways. On his jaunt home, Tamaki could feel the brew sloshing in his belly, but he had to admit, he came out of their meeting feeling rejuvenated. If he hadn’t known better, he could have sworn his friends had a superpower for restoring energy on top of their established quirks.

Although he was still pretty worn out, he was more prepared to face the new week ahead.

In the back of his mind, he was still thinking about their discussion about the ghostly hero, Wraith. He wondered about the rumors that circulated around her family. Mirio hadn’t gone into detail about them, which left plenty of room for mystery, but maybe that was for the best.

For now, he was fine with not knowing – he was in no rush and there was no need to tarnish a clean slate.

[kheta]

3 for 1 AU’s

Hikaru no Go shizz.

Three au’s I probably won’t write, but need to get the ideas out.

1) Sai a Paediatrician with Anxiety™ and Hikaru, who will pull him kicking and screaming into the world of Professional Go.

Featuring:

A) 23 year old Sai’s strict but loving family, who had pressured him into being a medical student, he tried to negotiate being a nursing student but they wouldn’t have it, so now he's doing his first year of work following graduation at the hospital his parents own shares in, because he likes helping families out. He’s passionate about his career and is happy enough to leave Go to the side. After all, Go is just a hobby, he’s not even that good, right? (WRONG! WRONG ON MANY ACCOUNTS!)

Sai learnt Go from his Uncle and was unreasonably obsessed with the game, studying kifu and tsumego for hours and going to Go salons when he had free time all his life. He’s never been as passionate as anything as he had been about Go, but succumbing to his parents pressure he gives up his dreams of playing Go professionally, instead dedicating his life to helping people and making his parents proud.

Hikaru is a 15 year old kid with a badly broken leg that he soundly ignored for much too long, which finds him in the very hospital that Sai is working in. Sai gets attached to Hikaru and because the kid can’t do much but play video games (on the console that everyone shared in the Play Room) and board games (that are mostly missing pieces and tattered) he finds himself drawn into playing Go with his Grandpa and Sai, the nice but whiny doctor who likes to hang around work and interact with the family’s there during his spare time. 

When he learns how to actually play and make sense of Go, Hikaru stops calling Sai nice, because the guy was an actual monster when it came to Go, soundly thrashing both children and adults unlucky enough to ask for a game, even his Shindou-go was reliant on the fact that his students saw what paths he’d create for them.

After a year in hospital and three surgeries later, Hikaru is out of hospital with the unfortunate news that he can no longer play soccer competitively, despite being other wise healthy. He then just slams himself into the world of Go, becoming just obsessed as Sai. 

Both Sai and his grandfather want him to consider going Pro, especially considering the improvements he’s made in a few short months, but he resolutely refuses, even when he becomes flushed with challenges on Net Go. His reasoning? He won’t become a pro unless Sai himself can honestly tell him that he’s happy with only playing Go in his spare time. If he’s happy with the few games he manages to play.

On the flip side of this verse, no one knows who the mysterious and infuriating hikaru is, nor do they know who he studied off of, after nearly 15 straight losses on Net Go however, hikaru suddenly starts winning more and more of his games, able to go toe to toe against some of the known Professional players online, even if he himself was obviously still learning the game. Yoshitaka Waya knows only one thing, whoever this brat is, he’s gonna regret the day he called him an ‘over aggressive know-it-all with poor defence.’  2) Hikaru the Soccer Player.

Hikaru is the cheerful, popular first string midfielder for his school’s soccer club, and Akari is their team manager. Together the duo have helped their middle school and high-school team reach the national winter soccer festivals three years in a row. Despite being a calm, calculated mid-fielder and being captain of his Middle School team, Hikaru has never been invited to any J.League tryouts, mostly because scouter’s say that he plays a relatively risk free game, with a low risk-low reward steadfastness that doesn’t reflect his competitive mentality.

Akari is one of the best managers at her school, an excited, cheerful girl who always knows what to say to bring her team out of a slump, matched with above average intelligence and insane training plans that her Coach is absolutely in love with, Akari’s love for the game was one born from her wish to understand her best friend that much more. In everything she does, Akari only hopes for the best for the boy she thinks of as her brother. After being voted as Vice-Captain for his school team, hitting a slump in his skills and nearly losing their team’s placing in the Summer tournament over the span of two weeks, Hikaru walks into a Go salon near his school to unwind, hoping to maybe win a few games like he did whenever he visited the Go club that Akari is also apart of. Unfortunately, he has the displeasure of running into one Ochi Kosuke there and while the other teen is surly, arrogant and infuriating, he’s undoubtedly a much better Go player. With the rest of his summer being amounted to three more soccer games and two one week training camps, one at the very beginning and one at the very end of summer, he finds almost half of his summer break is spent playing Go toe to toe with the arrogant teen.

In his hunger to win, Hikaru comes up with some unorthodox and risky Go plays to use against Ochi, plays that become integral to his team’s development as he finally utilises his analytical skills to their fullest capabilities, gaining the attention of some of the best under-19 clubs.

Meanwhile, Ochi knows that Hikaru is a famous soccer player at his High-School, but witnessing the insane improvements Hikaru makes in his Go skills in the span of one summer has him questioning if this teen really is just a soccer-idiot like the rumours say he is. After all, an idiot wouldn’t be able to lose against a Professional Go player at an even game with only a two moku difference. As he watches Hikaru improve, he has a faint, eerie desire for his (somewhat) friend to really take up his favoured game. Playing against Akira Touya has been what Ochi’s dreamed of for the past year he’s been a pro, but he can’t help but yearn for a true, all or nothing game against the jock who just won’t leave him alone. 

in other words, a sports anime fanfiction with a lil bit of go because soccer player Hikaru is an absolutely amazing trope lmao. 

lil fax about this au:

a) Ochi has a crush on Akari that only develops after he plays her in a game of Go, while she isn’t anywhere near as talented as her friend, she has three years more experience in the game and an uncanny intuition that makes her an amusing opponent. added to that she’s very pretty and since Ochi’s default emotion is crush them until it stops mattering, he manages to annoy the manager in a way only Hikaru has managed before. will this be a ship? no clue my dudes.

b) Sai is quietly alive, and is the neighbour to Hikaru’s grandfather, a sickly man who can rarely leave his house because of his frail constitution. After Hikaru coerces his grandfather into teaching him about Go following a week of straight losses against Ochi, Sai offers to teach the younger kid. Unfortunately Sai is no teacher and while he very much enjoys the game against the young teen, his only advice comes in the form of mercilessly ripping all of Hikaru’s strategies apart until Hikaru can pinpoint where exactly he first messed up and how he can recover from it.

c) Hikaru and Ochi become (begrudging) friends, only because Hikaru stubbornly refuses to stop bothering the other teen, if only until he can beat Ochi by a 8 moku difference, the same difference that Ochi had during their first game against each other. Ochi grouches and glares and puts his nose up, but is internally embarrassed at this new, affectionate and loud teen who always manages to say endearing stuff with a casual, relaxed face. (Who the heck says “One day I’ll catch you and force you to look only at me” with a serious face?????)

d) after discussing some plays in front of him and enthusiastically (on Hikaru’s side) teaching him the rules of soccer, Ochi offers valuable insight to the Hazeko soccer team. Akari hates it and hates him with a passion when she sees how good his analysis of the game is. It took her most of elementary and their first year of middle school to show any worthwhile game plays and he offers some barely two weeks into learning their plays? All the while with his nose in the air???? Hate.

e) before Shindou and Fujisaki showed up, Shindou with his swift observation skills and hard borne techniques and Akari with her spartan training methods, Haze High’s soccer club had little to no presence. With the two present and having just barely lost their semi-finals placing in the summer tournament, Hazeko returns to the Winter Kokuritsu determined to prove that their summer performance was no fluke. Now, if only they knew what the heck being stars meant and why Shindou suddenly developed a God Complex... Also who is the brat that Fujisaki is trying to crush and why the heck do they have to prove that with her guidance (re:torture) they’re better than that four-eyed brat? Why are first years so weird?

3) Akari the Pro and Hikaru who’s kinda just there until he very much isn’t 17 year old Fujisaki Akari leaves the Go world in an uproar after the former model enters the Pro exams as an outsider and wins with a spotless record.

Claiming to have started Go at 12, everyone in the Go world becomes curious about the young teen, especially when she manages to lose her Shodan match against Gosei-Ogata by a three moku difference. They all wonder the same thing, how did this model get so good and if she has been playing Go casually for five years, then why is it only now that she’s decided to become a Professional? At the peak of her modelling carer?

Inversely, Akari became a Professional Go player to honour her late mentor Sai, a kind neighbour who taught her and Hikaru to play Go while babysitting them for a week when the two were 12, despite them both thinking it an old man’s game, the competitive kids continued playing the game hoping only to defeat their teacher, who urged them to continue on the pro path after discovering that the two were great students.

The duo entered their middle school Go club and by their second and third year, they managed to win against Kaio, the best middle school Go club in Tokyo.

At 14, Akari loses interest in the game having never won against Sai and losing against Hikaru for the better part of the year, and she can’t help but feel like Hikaru will leave her behind when he considers becoming an Insei. Then, the unthinkable happens, Sai passes away while playing against the duo.

For the next year neither teen speak of Go, hanging out like normal until Akari gets offered a modelling contract that keeps her from school and in extension keeps her away from her childhood friend and Hikaru starts hanging out with delinquents.

Fed up with Hikaru distancing himself and finally realising that he was leaving her behind like she had feared years ago, Akari slowly begins to play Go again, relearning the game as she went to Go salon’s and using her old NetGo account. After nearly a year of being reacquainted with the game, she takes the pro exams with only one thing in mind, to play the coveted Kami no itte that her mentor sought after. If she’s already lost two of her closest people, then she’d learn to love the game that she used to fear, to keep the one thing that still tied them together, their style of Go.

plot points:

a) Sai was an up and coming former professional who was one win away from gaining his first title, Kisei, when a politician accused him of money laundering and fixing his students games. with this scandal, his students abandon him hurt because they assumed he didn’t have faith in their Go abilities and his opponents no longer face him with their all or with respect, thinking him a cheater and a disgrace to the Go community. after a win in the Kisei tournament that he knows was gained because his opponent was distracted by the rumours, Sai ceases to play Go competitively, having given up on his family’s approval and name for the game and lost seemingly everything that made the game worthwhile. He meets Hikaru and Akari almost nine years later, despite his personal misgivings and anxieties, he finds himself entranced with these young, talented children, gaining a lost love for Go.

b) At 29, a random park visit with the kids prompts him to face Touya-Meijin, who had been at the park playing a game against his student. Faced by his old rival who had continued to soar in the Go community years after his departure, Sai plays what he announces to be the most beautiful game he’s ever played. The two battle it out on the board for nearly three hours, when Sai finally beats the Meijin by a half a moku difference. Only three people in the world viewed this match, though the Kifu became sought after and studied long after it happened. The viewers? Ogata Seiji, Fujisaki Akari and Shindou Hikaru. Ogata has no clue what happened to the bright, but fearsome child who accompanied the strange Sai and bulldozed his way into the post match discussion, but he knows that where ever Fujisaki wondered, her friend would no doubt follow, no one that talented and that enthusiastic about Go could ever truly give it up.

c) Akira has no clue who this Fujisaki is, having not payed much attention to the Professional Exams considering his own preoccupation in the Honinbou tournament, but when he sees her kifu he has only one question, who is her mentor and is it the elusive man who managed to convince his father to give up his titles and become an amateur? If so, where is that mentor now? And how can Akira convince them to face him on the Goban?

d) Hikaru just wants people to stop spreading rumours about him and Akari, because the buddying model really doesn’t need all the flack people give them. If it means distancing himself to save her reputation, then he doesn’t care, ‘cause hell if he’s gonna let people be convinced their dating and it’s gross that those rumours even exist. It comes as a shock then, when after a campaign that makes her the face of popularised clothing franchise and a new perfume scent made for her, she decides to quit modelling and forces her way into the Go world, against her agency and her parents wishes. Watching his best friend take the Go world by storm, Hikaru can’t help but be angry at Akari for taking up Go again, all the while aching for the game he used to play and wondering, if maybe, Sai would be okay with him playing their game without him. Is it truly okay to play Go without Sai? And if so, when can he trounce Akari? Because she’s gonna get an ego if only upper-dan’s could beat her, and no way was she allowed to be better than him in the game! He refuses! Now if only he could remember how to get good at reading other people’s hands again, because now he could barely read ten moves into a game before getting lost. Also, why didn’t they play good stones like Akari and Sai? Everyone kept playing shitty stones and he can’t read their moves if they use such sloppy hands, jeez!

e) Waya has no clue who Shindou Hikaru is, or why he’s convinced he can beat the newest prodigy Fujisaki Akari when he plays like a clumsy beginner, but he’s determined to keep playing the fascinating teen, especially when he reveals his NetGo nick to be hikaru, a player who dominated the NetGo server nearly four and a half years ago and who hadn’t been seen since a year after he started playing. While Shindou definitely has some untapped potential, he can’t help but wonder why the teen can’t play with the breathtaking speed and monstrous traps like he used to.

f) Hikaru and Akari made each other’s NetGo accounts bc they’re brats like that, so Hikaru’s name is hikaru because Akari couldn’t think of anything else and it wasn’t taken and Akari’s is Fuji-Brat, because Hikaru is an ass like that, a lot of Go players would watch as the two matched each other stone for stone, surprised by how little these mouthy kids knew about the pro world, despite playing at insei level.

g) Sai just doesn’t mention things about the pro world bc he’s used to not talking about it and so, when Akari and Hikaru enter the professional Go world, they’re clueless about everything. They have no clue what dan is, but they know what a Title is, even if they only know the name of two of the titles and they still sometimes forget about the timer and why do they need oteai matches so often, also aren’t those creepy old men kinda weird, i don’t care if they’re important they’re staring and that’s rude/annoying. The Go world is predictably affronted by the duo’s lack of knowledge and it’s the cause of a few minor problems and scandals.

[thelazyhermits]

Here you go @lambreta-do-capeta some Nighteye just for you ;)

A few weeks after the raid on the yakuza base and your subsequent recovery, you begin making visits to the Nighteye Agency per Nighteye’s request. The reason for those visits is because he wanted to train you, more specifically to help you more efficiently use your Quirk for combat purposes. 

According to Togata, it’s because his mentor was excited about knowing someone with a Quirk so similar to his own. He thinks that’s why Nighteye took a special interest in you.

While there’s probably some truth to that statement, you mostly figure Nighteye wanted to repay you for saving his life by offering some helpful advice. Unfortunately, most of his advice is usually followed by a lot of criticism.

Of course, you know full well that your fighting skills are far from perfect. You’ll be the first to admit that. However, it doesn’t stop you from feeling annoyed when on the receiving end of Nighteye’s nitpicking.

That’s why it��s not surprising for the two of you to end up squabbling whenever you do visit his agency. You always do your best to avoid starting a fight, but you can’t help it sometimes, especially if you ever catch him being too harsh with Midoriya.

When he visited you at the hospital, Nighteye promised he’d stop trying to force his opinion about Togata being the better suited user of OFA on everyone. However, that didn’t mean he’d stop being critical of your student.

If anything, you think he’s become more critical since agreeing to consider accepting Midoriya as All Might’s successor because he wants the green haired student to meet all his standards. Even though Yagi is always telling his successor to branch out to become his own hero, Nighteye keeps bringing up all the great qualities of All Might that Midoriya must have in order to become the next Symbol of Peace.

As a result, your poor student ended up getting a lot of mixed messages from his mentors. Naturally, you had to eventually intervene by sitting both Yagi and Nighteye down one day and make them talk about their conflicting teaching methods when it comes to helping Midoriya become the next Symbol of Peace.

Unsurprisingly, the freckled boy didn’t utter a single word of complaint about Nighteye’s harsh training. If anything, you’d say it just made Midoriya more determined because he really wants to earn the bespectacled man’s approval.

Thankfully, as of late, things have been smoother with Midoriya’s training thanks to you making Yagi and Nighteye talk things out. Now, both mentors are on the same page, well for the most part anyway.

And, despite occasionally squabbling with him, your training with Nighteye has also been going relatively well. You’ve gotten a lot of pointers to help you become better at reading people’s movements without even having to use your Quirk.

Of course, you practice with your Quirk as well in hopes of steadily improving your time limit. Usually, whenever you’re doing that, you either spar against Togata or Midoriya while Nighteye observes. 

For today’s spar, you’re up against your student. Unfortunately, despite how many times he has fought you, the green haired boy still hasn’t found a way to counter your Quirks abilities.

However, that doesn’t mean the fights are always in your favor. After all, even if you read all his movements, that doesn’t change the fact that Midoriya is faster than you when he uses OFA. 

As a result, you have to look several steps ahead to make up for your lack of speed so you can actually dodge all of his attacks. Naturally, it puts a strain on you, having to do this, but it’s definitely good practice since you know you won’t always be lucky enough to face an opponent whose movements are slow enough to dodge.

You always enjoy your spars with Midoriya since they push you to improve yourself, and you know he feels similarly. Unfortunately for you, today’s spar doesn’t go as well as your previous ones.

Right in the middle of the fight, your Quirk shows you a vision which makes you freeze in place. What’s so bad about this is that it happens right as Midoriya is in the process of throwing a punch at you. 

Unable to stop himself in time, the green haired boy’s eyes widen in horror when his fist makes contact with your nose, hitting it with enough force to break it. This is how you discover that receiving an injury can cause a vision to be stopped prematurely. Apparently, if enough pain invades your senses, your Quirk shuts off.

As a result, shortly after your vision starts, it cuts off, and you find yourself standing before your horrified student as blood pours out of your nose. You wince as you move you cup your hand over your nose in a futile effort to stop the blood flow. 

“Mirio, get the first aid kit!”

As Togata rushes out of the room, Nighteye runs over to your position and gently tilts your head back so he can examine your injury while also pulling out a handkerchief to help stem the blood flow. Seconds later, he clicks his tongue before aiming a sharp look in your student’s direction. “Remind me to add learning how to stop an attack at the last minute to your training.”

Because of his shock, Midoriya doesn’t react to his mentor’s words. Instead, he continues to stare at you with wide teary eyes. “I’m so sorry, Sensei! I should’ve been more careful and taken into account the possibility of you receiving a vision while we were sparring. I should’ve-”

You cut him off with a reassuring smile. “It’s alright, Midoriya. It was just an accident and really poor timing on my part. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Nighteye scoffs, “He should’ve been able to stop the punch before it landed. This proves he still requires a lot more training.”

After saying that, the bespectacled man sighs, “And, please refrain from actually crying, Midoriya. That is the last thing she needs right now.”

At that moment, while the freckled boy is quickly scrubbing at his eyes, Togata arrives with the first aid kit. “Here it is, Sir! Do you want me to do the first aid, or do you plan on doing it?”

Shaking his head, Nighteye accepts the first aid kit from the blond. “I’ll do it. Thank you, Mirio.”

Once you’ve been brought to a bench so you can sit down, the older man begins working on tending to your injury. In the meantime, you decide to bring some levity to the situation by doing what you do best.

“Everything will be fine, Midoriya, but if the worst case scenario happens and I’m no longer fit for marriage, I’ll be counting on you to take responsibility, okay?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see your student frantically nodding his head. “Of course! I’ll-”

It’s at that moment the meaning of your words properly register in the first year’s mind. Once they do, his whole face turns red. “W-Wait! W-What?! M-Marriage?!”

Togata starts laughing, “Good for you, Midoriya-kun! What a lucky guy you are, getting Sensei as a bride! I’m a little jealous!”

Naturally, this just makes his junior blush harder. “T-Togata-senpai!”

Nighteye just sighs, “Was that really necessary?”

A grin forms on your lips. “Of course, it was. Besides, aren’t you the one always going on about how important a good sense of humor is?”

One of the corners of his lips quirk upwards. “Fair enough.”

After he finishes tending to your injury, you thank the bespectacled man who’s now putting everything away in the first aid kit. Once that’s done, Nighteye raises an eyebrow at you. “I suppose you didn’t have your vision long enough to tell what it was about, or did you actually see something?”

Your earlier grin returns, larger than ever, as you sling an arm across Midoriya’s shoulders. “All I saw was me telling Midoriya my ring size.”

The aforementioned boy makes a choked sound as his face turns scarlet while Togata bursts into a fit of laughter. Meanwhile, Nighteye just shakes his head. “Of course, you did. Why am I not surprised?”

With a shrug, you reply, “Who nose? Maybe you just know us that well? After all, we’ve been having these training engagements for a couple of weeks now ‘cause you want to groom us to become better fighters. Taking that into consideration, it’s not strange for me to propose that we’ve become closer.”

Togata’s laughter grows louder at your puns while Midoriya just hides his flustered expression in his hands all the whole muttering “No more”, no doubt referring to the marriage puns. When your gaze returns to Nighteye, you see him covering the bottom half of his face with his hand.

Although he’s trying to hide his smile, the older man’s amusement is evident in the slight trembling of his shoulders as he tries to refrain from laughing and the fact that you catch a brief glimpse of the upward curve of one of the corners of his mouth.

Your grin grows. This is another bright side of hanging around the Nighteye Agency. You get plenty of opportunities to try out your puns on Nighteye.

Just as Togata said during the Cultural Festival, the bespectacled man is quite fond of puns. As a result, while he always has something to nitpick when it comes to your fighting technique, you’ve never once been criticized when it comes to your sense of humor. 

Not too many people can get this kind of reaction from Nighteye, so you are naturally quite proud of yourself for such an accomplishment. Hopefully, with enough time, he’ll come to feel the same way about your fighting skills as he does about your comedic skills.

In the meantime, you’ll keep doing your best. After all, you’re nothing if not determined. 

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 29

A/N: Blarg sorry if this is late. I had kind of a lot of work for college recently...

xoxoxo

"Now that you've picked out your hero names it's time to get serious again," Aizawa said, having reclaimed his podium. He pulled out some packets and sheets of paper. "The work study will take place next week, starting Monday and ending Sunday. Those of you who got offers from agencies are heavily suggested to pick from that list, but if you ask for the other list I'll give you one. I'm mainly saying that for the people who didn't get many offers so you don't feel like you don't have a lot of choices. Keep in mind, everyone, that you should think carefully about what kind of hero agency you'd want to work for. Depending on the kind of hero work you want to do, you might want to look for a rescue agency. Or that'd be a waste of time if you want to focus more on taking down villains or crime investigation."

Midnight nodded. "If you want to do rescue work, go to an agency known for rescue work. Make sure to look up an agency before you choose it, too." She winked. "Would be pretty embarrassing if you thought your choice was an underground investigation specialty and you end up working under Wash, huh? And don't worry if you can't find too much, you can always ask one of your teachers."

"Right, it's almost time for lunch," Aizawa said. "You have a few minutes before that, though, so I suggest you spend it thinking about where you're going to go for your work study. You have until Friday to tell me where you want to go or Nedzu will pick for you. And trust me when I say that you don't want that. So all of you better think carefully about your choice." He passed out the papers, handing out the more uniform stack to the students who didn't get any offers and giving the people with offers their own packets (though Sero, Shinsou, and Yaoyorozu respectfully asked for extras of the first stack on account of only having gotten single sheets of paper...). I gulped when my extra-large packet thumped on my desk. "Have fun, kid," Aizawa-sensei told me with what sounded like the lightest bit of sympathy.

"...Would it be inconsiderate to say I feel slightly intimidated by this thing?" I asked. It was so big. The closest packet in size was Kacchan's, but even his wasn't nearly as big as mine. It'd take me a while to read through it all...

"Nah," Shinsou said. "As much as I'm jealous you got so many offers, I really don't envy you having to go through all those agencies." He scanned his list of offers. "Dang, guess I didn't need the other sheet. That one looks good." He pulled out his phone and started looking up whichever offer caught his eyes. I sighed and went back to my list. It had some basic information on each of the offering agencies, but I didn't know if that was enough that I could delegate some of the pages to my elementals...

"You're really thinking about that, huh Midoriya?" Tsu said after I'd read a few pages.

I chuckled nervously. "Ah, most of it is just that there are so many to go through. I've only gone through a few hundred..."

"Hey, at least you got any," Ashido whined.

"S-sorry..." I said. "I just... feel like I have to pick a good one, because there are so many..."

"That sounds reasonable," Ojiro said. "Luckily I'm already familiar with one of the agencies on the list, but if I wasn't..."

"Yeah... So I take it you've already picked an agency?"

"Actually, I have too!" Uraraka added.

"Nice," Tsu said. "Who is it? Studio Thirteen? The Wild, Wild Pussycats? Maybe Team Idaten?"

Uraraka blushed slightly. "A-actually I'm thinking of going to Gunhead Dojo!" She punched the air. "I know I want to be a rescue hero, but I realized when fighting Bakugou that maybe it'd be a good idea to at least have some experience with fighting and stuff even if I'm a rescue hero, y'know? Plus I think my fight with Bakugou awakened something in me."

Kacchan chuckled. "Yeah, that fight was pretty fucking great. You're pretty damn good already, but I can see why you wanna get some combat training." He looked back at his sheet. "Probably gonna go with Best Jeanist."

"Did not think you'd go for him, Bakugou," Ashido commented. She chuckled. "Though now that I think about it you kinda channeled him a bit in that fight with Midoriya, huh?"

Kacchan shrugged. "He's the highest-ranked hero that I got an offer for, though I suppose I also do wanna branch out a bit and figure he's as good a mentor as anyone."

Uraraka held her hand out to him. "Yeah, expanding new horizons!"

Kacchan snorted and high-fived her. "You're a dork."

"Well who's dorkier, the dork or the dork who high-fives her?" Uraraka asked.

Kacchan rolled his eyes. "You, for making that dumb fucking comment."

"By the way," Sonia's voice suddenly whispered in my ear even though she was sitting invisibly on Iida's desk, "Iida's heartrate spiked when he circled one of the names on his list. Hosu was where his brother was attacked, right?"

I winced. "That doesn't sound good. The man who attacked him, Hero Killer Stain, is a serial killer villain who always attacks in fours before moving to a new city, and Ingenium was his first strike in Hosu..."

"That bad?" she asked.

"I... hope I'm wrong about it, but he may be trying to get revenge." I sighed. "What am I going to do about this?"

xoxoxo

"Hey, Todoroki!" I said as we walked to the cafeteria. He was probably going to sit alone, but I'd decided to invite him to join our table. "Or should I call you Shoto?"

He looked like a deer in headlights as he turned me. "Um..."

My eyes widened. "S-sorry, I meant like your hero name, not your first name!"

"Right," he said. "Though, I don't mind if you do call me Shoto. I've... never really had a friend before..."

"Well that's... not exactly good, but I was planning on inviting you to sit with us at lunch. Would you like that?"

He blinked. It looked like he was a bit startled, like he hadn't expected that. "Yes," he said after think about it for a moment. "I think I would like that."

"Great! Follow me!" I smiled.

"Midoriya," he muttered after a few moments of silence. "I... initially thought of taking my father's offer."

"Offer?" I asked.

"His name was on my list of agencies I got offers from..."

I winced. "And... you said 'initially?'"

"I saw another agency, though. One that I remembered from when I looked up Water Hose. Have you heard of the Wild, Wild Pussycats?"

I nodded. "They're a rescue-oriented agency, but they might be really good for you. Better than him at least... I didn't know they took students, though."

"I didn't either, but I'm grateful for them."

I smiled at him. "That's good. Ah, here's our table."

Shoto was a little uncomfortable at first, but he warmed up to everyone by the end of lunch.

xoxoxo

I knocked on Shuzenji-sensei's door. We didn't have anything going on in our afternoon classes aside from looking over our options (and while I couldn't completely delegate that task to my elementals Juniper had offered to read them to me) so I got permission from Aizawa-sensei to talk to Shuzenji-sensei. "It's open!" she called.

I pulled my paperwork out of my inventory as I opened the door. "I got it signed!"

Shuzenju-sensei smiled at me. "Good job, Midoriya-kun. Give it here so I can give you your license, please."

I handed her the paperwork, which she started looking over one last time. "By the way, when you have time Power Loader wants to see you, something about you collaborating with one of his students."

I nodded. "I'll check in on that later, then. I have a pretty good idea of what it's about."

She nodded, then finished checking the paperwork. "Everything looks in order." She reached into one of the drawers of her desk and pulled out a small rectangle of plastic. "You can get another if you lose it, but it's annoying and I suggest you take good care of it."

"Thanks," I said. I sniffed. It wasn't a hero license, but it was so close! "H-hang on, give me a minute." I managed to only shed a single giant tear, then put my new healer license in my inventory when I had composed myself.

"Should I be concerned about the size of that tear?" Shuzenji-sensei asked me.

I shook my head, pulling the water off with my water magic. "No, it's a leftover mutation from my grandmother's Quirk, Ocular Gushers."

She nodded. "Okay then. Are you good?"

"Actually... can I voice my concerns about one of my fellow students?" I asked.

"Is this about Iida-kun?" she asked.

I flinched a little. "Yeah. I... just wanted to say..."

Shuzenji-sensei sighed. "Yeah, we're keeping an eye on him. Unfortunately not much we can do at the moment, if he's not willing to talk about it..."

"Thanks anyways. Also, I'm very close to prestiging my healing skill, so do you think I could try to heal Iida's brother when I do?"

She rubbed her chin. "That means you'll get a better version of it, right? I'll see what I can do about that, especially if it's as good as you think."

I bowed. "Thank you. I'll go now."

xoxoxo

I walked back to the development studio, after having cleared it with Aizawa-sensei of course. By now Juniper had gone through about a fourth of the list, but I was still no closer to figuring out who I was going to go with, even with the past bearers giving me advice. There were just... too many.

So I was going to take my mind off of it, for now at least. I opened the door of the development studio-

And dodged out of the way of a flying Hatsume. I had Halitus create an air cushion to catch her softer than the wall would.

"Hatsume, just the person I wanted to talk to," I said as Halitus lightly blew the soot off her. "Are you hurt?"

She gave me the thumbs-up. "I'm perfectly fine." Then she started invading my personal space with a mad glint in her eye. "Now what was it you wanted to tell me about?"

I backed up a bit. "Maybe we should talk in the development studio?" I suggested.

She nodded vigorously. "Of course, of course!" She walked through the open door. "Follow me, please!" I followed her to a workbench directly across from the door with a smoking, destroyed machine on it. Hatsume sat down on the swivel stool in front of it and sighed. "It's always a fun surprise when one of my babies explodes, but I wish I could unexplode it so I could try to see what went wrong."

"That would sound so wrong out of context..." Claude muttered, looking at the broken 'baby.'

"It still kinda sounds wrong in context," Iggy added.

"I might be able to help with that, if you don't mind," I offered, switching Float out from Mending.

"You can?" she asked.

I nodded and rapped the device lightly with my knuckle. It stopped smoking, the buckled parts smoothed out, the soot disappeared, and various bits of metal flew across the workshop to reattach to it.

Hatsume gasped and examined the machine. "My baby! Good as new! How'd you do it?"

I hesitated for a moment, but then shrugged and just came out with it. "It's a long story, but I can kinda copy Quirks now."

She stared at me with a huge grin. "So you want me to build you adaptable hero gear that can be used with all kinds of Quirks?"

I blinked. She was certainly eager... "That wasn't exactly why I wanted to talk to you today, but if you're offering then I'd be happy to at least try that out."

"Then what did you want to talk to me about."

I pulled a small marble out of my inventory. "Use Eye for Magic, please." She stared at the marble intently with glowing eyes and nodded. I backed up a bit and channeled some mana into the marble, activating it. The marble glowed as a bubble of mana formed around me.

Hatsume gasped. "Is... is that... an enchantment?" Even without Eye for Magic I'm sure I would have seen a mad glint in her eye.

I grinned. "Yup. I learned the skill after my last fight in the sports festival. I think it might be a good idea to teach it to someone whose Quirk doesn't involve easily learning magic, so they might be able to teach it to more people."

Hatsume drooled. "I agree to your terms. I will make sure Majima-sensei knows how to do it, and I'm sure he'll take over from there. Now teach me your ways."

I could understand her enthusiasm, so I took out two more marbles and tossed one to her. "Watch closely, I'll enchant this one with the Mana Dome spell and then let you try." She was vibrating. I activated Eye for Magic and stared at the marble as I enchanted it. It was a bit like programming the spell into the marble, using Item Enchantment as the programming language. I watched the way the enchantment set into the marble carefully so I could help out Mei if she had any trouble with it.

"Right, now you try," I said when I was done. She grinned maniacally as the marble glowed with her mana. I stared at it. She did it almost perfectly. The bubble wavered a bit when she activated it, but still... "That's actually a pretty good first try," I told her. "You've almost got it."

She grinned. "I think I know how to do it from here. The babies I can make with this..."

I nodded. "I take it you'd be willing to help me develop good enchantments? The Item Enchantment skill also lets me passively enchant anything I make with magic, which could get interesting if I have a good portfolio of enchantments."

She nodded vigorously. "Of course, off course!" She thought for a moment, then pulled out a lens that was probably meant to be used for a robot eye or something. "Watch this!" It looked like she was putting the Eye for Magic spell into the lens, which was a pretty genius idea, actually. Unfortunately, though, the lens cracked. "Damn it!" she yelled, then looked through the lens. She sighed and held the lens out to me. "You can fix this, right?"

I took the lens and Analyzed it. It was almost there, but not quite. "Yes, but it'll probably wipe the enchantment. Mending doesn't exactly fix things so much as it returns them to a previous state." I checked out the enchantment on the lens by holding it up to the shield marble. It looked off, but it was definitely promising!

"Drat. Ah well, just do it. I wanted to practice wiping enchantments, but I suppose I can do that later."

I nodded and Mended it. "Probably a good idea." The lens uncracked and the enchantment disappeared. I handed it back to her. "And I think that making magic-sensing lenses is also pretty genius."

"I know, right!" She grinned and attempted the enchantment again. This time she got it perfectly. She looked through the lens and grinned, then handed it back to me. "Keep it, I'm gonna see about making magic-sensing goggles for my whole class."

I grinned. "That's gonna be fun."

She nodded. "Actually, you said you can copy Quirks, right?"

"Yeah."

"If you want you can copy mine."

"Thanks. I can think of a few ways that I can put it to good use. Can you use it like a magnifying glass, or only to see faraway things with better detail?"

She grinned. "Correct! I can zoom in on even the tiniest of circuits as well as the farthest of people!"

"That can be pretty useful. I mean, even if it was only farsight I could use it for spell sniping, which could be pretty fun, but that's also pretty good!" I held my hand out. "I can copy Quirks through skin contact, if you will." She high-fived me. "Thanks. I'll check in on you later."

She pulled out her phone. "Actually, let's swap phone numbers so we can talk enchantments!"

"Yeah, that sounds good!"

"Gettin' a girl's number, huh?" Raimon joked. "Dang, Izuku, I didn't know you were such a player!"

I mentally rolled my eyes as I gave her my number. We talked for a bit more about enchantments and design (she was way more useful than Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, when it came to developing my Imaginary Architect ideas) before I returned to my classroom.

xoxoxo

Kacchan slapped me on the back after dismissal. "You figure out who you're going with, Deku?" he asked me with a smug grin.

"No, not yet," I said. "I assume you have?"

He nodded and showed me his packet, or rather the name on his packet that was circled. "Best Jeanist," he bragged. "Number four hero's pretty fuckin' good, huh? Plus, he'll probably have some tips for my silk magic." He emphasized that statement by creating a small strand of silk between two of his fingers.

"So that's... something you're doing now?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun tying you up," Kacchan said.

"Is that really something you want to admit?" Tsu asked him.

He silently flipped her off, which was honestly pretty tame for him. "Plus, I could probably use something to restrain villains and not just blow 'em up."

"Yeah, that's probably a good thing to think about," I said. "You wanna leave now? I should probably get home soon so I can read through my list."

"Yeah, sure, let's go. Mom's gonna wanna see this." He opened the door.

"I AM HERE IN A BIZARRE POSITION!" All Might shouted, bent over to be right in front of Kacchan's face. Was it just me or did he look slightly nervous? His trademark smile was wavering ever-so slightly.

"The fuck are you here for?" Kacchan asked him.

"I need to borrow young Midoriya for a bit." Saying this, he held up a small slip of paper. "A late submission."

Kacchan nodded. "I got it, I'll wait to walk home with him." He grabbed my shoulder and yanked me toward All Might. I stumbled forward a bit, but caught myself so I didn't crash into All Might. "You guys've got talking to do anyway," his voice said despite his lips not moving.

"Follow me, then, young Midoriya." All Might started walking and I followed him.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask..." I said as we walked.

"Hm? What is it, young Midoriya?"

"Do you mind if I call you Yagi-sensei? At least when we're talking in private?"

He smiled at me. "Of course, my boy! Though, what brought this on?"

I chuckled sheepishly. "It's a bit of a long story but, well... I kinda entered my mindscape and realized I put you on a bit of a pedestal."

"There was a literal pedestal, wasn't there? Probably with a giant statue of me." He lightly touched his chest. I cast Healing Hands on him, just in case. "And... might I guess there was a crack in the statue?"

I blinked. "Y-yeah... How'd you know?"

"It's not my first time dealing with mindscape logic."

"When would you have..."

Yagi-sensei gave me a small but hearty laugh. "I'll tell you later." He led me down the bathroom hallway. "Now, this offer..." He started trembling slightly. "Well, it comes from my old homeroom teacher, back when I was in Yuuei..." I frowned and used Open Mind. What kind of person could they be to make All Mi- Yagi-sensei nervous like that?

Not wanting to probe too deep, I only made out flashes of a yellow blur bouncing around a gymnasium and some yelling. "Why would he come out of retirement to send that offer?" Yagi-sensei thought. "It must've been that letter I sent him..."

I turned it back off. "Hey, is he talking about Torino?" Shimura asked.

"Was this person a friend of your mentor?" I asked.

Yagi-sensei flinched. "Er... Yes. He... Well, he saw a lot of promise in you, but thinks you could use One For All better."

I thought about it. "I... probably could, yeah. Speaking of, though, I found something I think you'd like to know about."

He eased up. "What is it, young Midoriya?"

"I think it might be better just to 'show' you, actually. Invite Yagi Toshinori to party."

Yagi-sensei looked at the text box for a moment before accepting.

"Hello, Toshinori," I heard a bit of a smirk in Shimura's voice.

Yagi-sensei coughed up a bit of blood in surprise. "Sh-Shimura-sensei?"

She chuckled. "Yes. Sorry for the surprise."

"H-how? Are you... a ghost?" He started looking around for her. "Speak, apparition," he said.

"Oooooh, Iiiiii'm aaaa ghooooost," Hikiishi said. "And I'm here to make you faaaaaaaart."

"Don't tease, Jiroku," Kaizen chided.

"What," Yagi-sensei said flatly. He looked at something, probably the party list. "Young Midoriya, are these... the past users of One For All?"

I nodded. "I kinda... found them in my mindscape. I think it's a part of One For All or something."

Yagi-sensei nodded. "I remember seeing vague shadows of what I had assumed were the previous users once or twice when I was first getting a hang on One For All... Perhaps it was a glimpse of these... ghosts."

"Oh yeah I remember that," Daigoro said. "Was pretty freaky when it first happened..."

Yagi-sensei nodded. "It was very freaky." He cleared his throat. "Young Midoriya, do you mind if I stay in your party for a bit? I think... I'd like to catch up with my old mentor."

I nodded. "Yeah, I understand, Yagi-sensei."

"Thank you, young Midoriya." His smile eased up a bit.

xoxoxo

Elemental list: Midoriya: Halitus, Dune, Rayne, Blaise, Juniper, Mifuyu, Raimon, Iggy, Sonia, and Claude Bakugou: Pyra and Leaf Tokoyami: Corvo Uraraka: Nebula and Ion Hagakure: Lucy Tsu: Bubbles Aizawa: Charlie and Cassiopeia All Might: Seth O'Scope

[headlessartistblog-blog]

Post 1: On Poetics

Poetry, am I right? Who needs the stuff? Well, I do. I get paid to go to school for it. I’m not going to bore you with some longwinded introduction where I satisfy your checklist of things that constitute a reliable source because I know you don’t really care. Instead, I’ll direct you to a list of the top 5 most important things to keep in mind when reading and writing poetry (for all ages!). As you can see, they aren’t written on stone tablets, so feel free to disagree with anything I say here (if you do leave comments of dissent, please be kind enough to follow it up with a “because” for others who may be interested).  This is just my personal take from my experiences. Take what you will.

1. Your Poem Should Have Some Sort of Surprise or Insight (It Should Change You) 

What distinguishes a good poem from a great poem (or a good poem from a bad poem) is its transformative qualities. To put it simply, a great poem is a poem that truly changes you. You should leave the poem feeling that you’ve learned something about yourself or about the world. Not only will minding the transformative qualities of a poem help you assess others’ poetry, but it can also serve as a guide for your own endeavors.

When writing a poem, we sometimes find ourselves engaging with things (emotions, memories, ideas, art, etc.) that we don’t quite understand or can’t account for. Let us, for example, say we are writing a poem about something wholly original and not at all trite: love. Anyone who has ever been in love has felt the strange emotions that circumspect its comings and goings: euphoria, despair, infatuation, apathy, content, anxiety, reassurance, fear. Now, imagine trying to describe these emotions in a way that accurately conveys their essence; “I’m afraid” isn’t much of a poem (though the conciseness of T.S. Eliot’s “and in short, I was afraid” is quite striking).

The arrival of the surprise in poetry is the result of a successful engagement with the ambiguous and arduous. Put simply, you get the surprise by working through your thoughts and emotions on paper. Be aware that there is no way to foresee the arrival of the surprise. In fact, you might find that it’s in the first few lines you’ve written. Conversely, you might find that it takes weeks of writing or revision to arrive at some sort of insight. Regardless, you should leave the poem somehow changed.

Examples of Surprises:

The Archaic Torso of Achilles- Rilke

The Warning- Creeley

2. Let the Poem Be Its Own Guide (Don’t Force It)

A successful artist is an artistic who recognizes their art and works with it. Well, what the fuck does that mean? Much like every other art, intention often finds itself at odds with the poem. Intention essentially means the objective we bring to the table when we make art. A simple example: “I want to write a love poem.” Great! Everyone loves a good love poem. However, where most beginning poets -and experienced poets time and time again- stall is reconciling intention with output. By output, I simply mean what ends up on the page.

Imagine this: you’re writing your love poem and, suddenly, you find yourself writing about a box of photos you found in your grandmother’s attic. Well that just won’t work, will it? We’re trying to write a love poem! Not a poem about old pictures of your grandmother. What the sensible person would do is get back on track, cross out those inane lines and continue their trek of love. What the poet does is follow the trail of memory. The poem knows what it wants to be just as your intuition knows what the poem should be.

Perhaps one of the greatest struggles beginning poets tend to face is the seemingly sporadic nature of intuition. “This is what I want the poem to be! Why can’t I get it to do what I want?!” Well, uh, that’s because the poem is kind of like a person. I mean, it’s being written by a person based on that person’s experiences, and we all know human experience is anything but simple and linear. Trying to force a poem to do something is like trying to force a person to do something.

As artists, we often forget that our art is not always going to be in tandem with our goals and aspirations. That’s okay. In fact, it’s great! It keeps us from being indebted to our own egos. “Oh? You thought you were going to write the modern epic? No no no! You’re going to write about the hole in your shoe.” Additionally, who’s to say that love and the box of photographs are entirely unrelated? Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion. There are many kinds of love: romantic, sexual, familial, idealistic, etc. What the poem is trying to show you is the relationships between your love for a partner and your love for your grandmother. Let the art run its course.  

3. Avoid Clichés

This, in my opinion, can be a make it or break it for poetry (and all art). Nothing turns an audience off like being cliché (think dad-rock). Unfortunately, there’s no end to the barrage of hip, Instagram poetry that somehow passes as insightful and profound (@ Milk and Honey). I try not to sound like a pompous asshole as much as possible, but everybody has a line in the sand, and this is mine. Just don’t do it. Don’t be that person (poet).

For one, it’s contrived, and it’s obvious because you can’t tell the difference between any of the people writing the “poems.” Two, it takes little to no effort to write Instagram poetry:

Just because you’ve decided to

Stay inside doesn’t make you

Anything less.

Even the butterfly needs

Time alone to grow

 Truly inspired.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, there are other clichés that you’ll want to avoid. The most common ones usually occur in metaphor or simile:

My love, you are like a flower

Swaying in the summer breeze

Okay, so let’s break this down. One, there’s nothing really surprising about comparing your love to a flower. It’s been done many times; at this point, probably too many times. Two, there’s also nothing surprising about a flower in summer. It’s to be expected. Three, while the entire image itself is beautiful (flowers in the summer breeze), it doesn’t reveal anything unique about the speaker’s love. In fact, some would find the use of such a bland and predictable simile almost insulting.

*Now, here’s where an exception to clichés comes in. This would be a perfect simile if you were trying to be sarcastic or humorous about your relationship without being too on the nose*

So how do we spice this up? Well, we make the simile surprising:

My love, you are like the muddy river that runs under the bridge

Cool and murky as you drift through my fingers in the summer’s heat

Okay, not the greatest lines ever written, but more interesting than flowers in the summer breeze.

What often helps all writers think about interesting comparisons and images is being honest about the emotions behind them. We understand that you’re in love, so we want to hear about it, actually hear about it. When you think about the person you love, do you actually think about flowers in the summer breeze? Or do you think about the dumpster behind the cafeteria where you first kissed? Or how they snore in the middle of the night? Or how you’re always late because you both decide to lounge in bed until 2 in the afternoon?  I guarantee you that being honest about the mundaneness of love (or whatever else you decide to write about) will produce something with more candor and accessibility (meaning, resonant with others) than lofty misconceptions about what love is.

As a final note on the cliché, always remember to be true to your own voice. Emulating other people’s poetry can be a fun and useful exercise to develop your own skills, but it is not an end. I’m honestly surprised how many times I’ve encountered poetry from the 21st century written like this:

Hark! Mine fellow scholars! Doth thou hear the gentle wings of poesy?

No, sir, I don’t hear it. Chaucer is dead. Shakespeare is dead. And for good reason. Let’s keep it that way. While most of us don’t speak poetically often, we certainly don’t speak like that anymore. Stay true to the times.

Examples of subverting or flirting with the cliché:

Porphyria’s Lover- Browning

The Flea- Donne

4. Play With Formalities of Structure and Grammar

I’ll keep this point brief because it’s pretty straightforward. Poetry does not have to abide by the formal rules of structure and grammar. In fact, there are very few rules at all.

You can write your lines as whole sentences

Or you can break them up.

You can use commas, periods, exclamation points, etc.

Or you can completely forgo them?

CAPITALIZATION and italics can help

Emphasize certain words that you think are IMPORTANT

Words can be bro     ken up in any num-

Ber of ways do(n’t) be afraid 2

Experiment w/the formalities of language!

5. Stay Grounded in the Real

This may seem like an odd piece of advice but it’s something that has significant consequences for most art. A few, short years ago I was briefly enamored with the complexities and possibilities of language that poetry offered, which manifested in this poem:

For if she flees I should pursue, Through vision, Thereafter? Feather footed, criminal as we are.

 Samael, So once we were, Golden swans littered across the sky, Bathing/bourn/bearing

Light

 Time beyond candlelight, Wicks, unto you, Progenic burning, Great love, Fallen

 Meadows, Whisper sweetly and, Slither into my dreams, Carry with us, black as we rose So Mourned, Thus forgotten

 Disembodied, I will never be beautiful

 Windows, Searching fragments, Arrested above the surface, And if we look back, Snatched away

 Remnants, Objects of decay

 Simply, perpetually, Echo

 From you, Eternity, Effusive threshold, Forlorn foundation, Dripping through fingers, All the things you are

 Cuping flame, Gentle blow

 I was new enough to poetry to still be proud of my writing and gave it to my mentor for his thoughts. After reading it, he asked me “what part of this poem is grounded in the real?” At that moment, I realized that I had gotten so caught up in creating images that I had forgotten to give the poem any kind of “soul.”

Indeed, all this poem is is a bunch of nebulous images that say nothing of the world. There’s a reason we relate to Lucifer instead of God in Paradise Lost. It’s because Lucifer represents us, “the real.” Despite the fact that he is a celestial being, his actions and emotions are human and that’s why we like him. He’s grounded in the worldly.

Think about it like this: the reason you probably hated those books you read in high school and college is because they didn’t resonate with you (yet?). There’s nothing in those books that speaks to your reality. Take, for instance, The Crucible; it’s written well-enough, but I hate it because it doesn’t say anything about my experience. It doesn’t say anything that I can relate to or care about. You “don’t get” Shakespeare, or Chaucer, or Faulkner not because you’re dumb or you didn’t try hard enough, but because their stories might not speak to your experience as a human being.  

It’s also worth noting that age does play a factor in almost every kind of art. That’s why you grow out of certain literature, tv shows, genres of music and people, because they no longer speak for or reflect who you are. The art that remains is the art that continues to say something about the world in our eyes.

[homealoneliz]

An unexpected and very pleasant surprise - my first time with a woman

If you’ve followed my blog for a while you probably know that I’ve had fantasies about one of my neighbors, Mark. I’ve concocted in my mind all sorts of scenarios where I seduce him or he seduces me and we spend hours in bed together exploring each other’s bodies. For various reasons, though, not the least of which is that he is married to a very nice woman, I have never gone further than fantasizing about him.

In any event, spring had finally come and I was out in the yard doing some clean up when Mark and his wife, Jen, walked by. We were chit chatting about all of the usual things - how nice it was that the weather had finally turned warm, how beautiful the flowers looked, what a good mood it put us in, etc. - when Jen asked where my husband was. I told her that he had just left on one of his trips to Europe and that I was on my own for the next couple of weeks.

“You poor girl,” she said, “how lonely that must be. Listen, Mark is taking our kids to visit his parents this weekend. Why don’t you come over on Saturday and we can have a girl’s night?”

As much as I was disappointed that Mark wouldn’t be there, I was also thankful for the invitation as I really like Jen and I do get lonely when my husband is away.

“I’d love to,” I said.

When Saturday came, I dressed in a sleeveless pink dress and Jack Rogers sandals, grabbed a bottle of white wine and walked across the street. Jen greeted me cheerfully with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “You look beautiful,” she said. “That dress looks great on you.”

“Thanks,” I replied. “You look beautiful as well. I don’t know how you can keep that figure of yours.” Jen is about 10 years younger than me and tall, blonde, and pretty in an all-American, girl next door sort of way. She was dressed in a short navy skirt and a low cut red silk blouse. It was an outfit that accentuated her long legs, small waist and shapely breasts. Indeed, I was envious of her in more ways than one.

“Good genes and a fair amount of time at the gym is the answer, but let’s not worry about our figures tonight. Thanks for the wine, but if it’s ok with you, I made a pitcher of Jen’s Famously Strong Margaritas. I created the recipe back in college. I’d like to say that there are lots of secret ingredients, but the main secret is lots of tequila,” she laughed. “In any event, they’re guaranteed to make your troubles go away.”

“Sounds like we have a fun evening ahead of us,” I chuckled. .

“Cheers,” she said as she handed me a margarita, “I am so glad that you could come tonight. It’s so much more fun drinking with somebody than alone.”

“Thanks so much for having me over,” I said, “and I agree. If it weren’t for you, I’d be sitting home alone drinking wine and feeling sorry for myself.”

We sat next to each on the sofa, our legs tucked under us. The margaritas were indeed strong and by the second one I was beginning to feel a bit tipsy. Jen was the perfect hostess, always keeping my glass filled and making me feel totally at home.

As usual, Jen was funny, friendly, and engaging. Our conversation ranged the gamut from neighborhood gossip to the current political situation to the NCAA basketball tournament, where both of our colleges were in the Sweet 16. I guess because of my added years she’s always looked up to me as sort of a mentor, and tonight she peppered me with questions about everything under the sun - children, gardening, cooking, vacation destinations, etc. She seemed genuinely thankful for my advice, frequently reaching over to touch me as if to accentuate how thankful she was. I, on the other hand, was really enjoying Jen’s company, not to mention the attention and flattery.

We had finished the pitcher of margaritas and were well into the bottle of wine I had brought when Jen’s questions took a turn and totally threw me for a loop.

“Liz, I can’t believe I’m asking you this, but I’m drunk and curious. If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine, but do you and your husband have a good sex life?”

Well this is getting interesting, I thought. I was drunk, too, so I answered and with more information than I normally would have. “We do,” I said, “when he’s at home, but unfortunately he travels all the time, so let’s just say that I’m forced to take matters into my own hands more often than not.”

“But you’re still attracted to him?”

“I don’t know if attracted is necessarily the right word, but we love each other very much and yes, at least when he’s home I think our sex life is as good as it’s ever been and when he’s not, well, I have a very good imagination. How about you and Mark?” Two can play this game, I thought, and anyway, Mark’s sex life was of huge interest to me.

“I have a good imagination as well, and it’s a good thing I do because...I mean...well...oh damn, I don’t know...for some reason I’m not attracted to Mark any more. I just can’t get into sex with him, so our sex life has become virtually nonexistent. I know he’s frustrated, and I know it’s my fault. I just don’t know what to do about it. C’est la vie I guess,” she sighed. “I do, though, have quite an extensive collection of toys, and I’m pretty good at taking care of myself, even if I’m not so good at taking care of my husband,” she laughed.

Now that is a really interesting piece of information, the devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear. Mark, the object my fantasies, is not getting any sex from his wife. Lock that away and think about what you might be able to do with it in the future.

My thoughts were interrupted by her asking, “So what do you think about when you are taking matters into your own hands?”

Wow! Those margaritas really must have been strong! This was definitely not a conversation I was used to having! Sex is almost always top of mind for me, but it’s not something I ever talk about with others. With that said, if Jen wanted to talk about it, then I was more than game.

“Well, sometimes I imagine I am making love to a particular man - never my husband - and sometimes I imagine I’m fulfilling one of my fantasies.”

“Do tell! Anybody I know?”

Even in my drunken state, I wasn’t about to tell her how many times I had fucked Mark in my imagination, so I said, “I don’t think so. Lately it’s been a guy at the gym who really turns me on,” which was not at all a lie.

“And what are your fantasies?”

“This is embarrassing,” I said, although I was enjoying the conversation and even beginning to get a little turned on. “I’ll tell you mine if you’ll tell me yours.”

“Deal,” she said. “You first.”

I took a deep breath. “Ok. Here goes. I have lots of them, but there are two that are at the top of the list. The first is a threesome with two men.”

“Mmmm...that’s a big turn on for me as well. I love the idea of being the center of attention - so to speak! And what’s the second?”

I paused. This really was embarrassing, but, since I was feeling no pain, I plunged ahead.

“Don’t laugh, but the second is to be with another woman. I highly doubt that either will ever happen, though.”

Jen smiled and hesitated, as if thinking. When she finally spoke, I wasn’t prepared for what she said. “Would it surprise you if I told you I was bi?”

I was stunned. First off, I never in a million years would have guessed that about Jen, but secondly why was she telling me this?

“I haven’t been with a woman since I married Mark, but before that I was definitely equal opportunity. Frankly, I miss it. Especially lately...”

The room had gone silent for me. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding.

Jen reached over and took my hands in hers. “Have you ever kissed another woman?”

I couldn’t speak. I shook my head.

“Would you like to?”

I noddded.

Jen leaned in and softly kissed me. Nothing else touched between us except our lips. Oh my God! Her soft lips felt so good on mine, so different from the men I had kissed. She kissed me again. I felt her tongue against my lips, gently probing. I opened my mouth to accept it and the kiss became deeper, more intense, our tongues dancing with each other. I felt Jen’s arms on my back, her hands on my neck, in my hair, pulling me closer. My passion was building, and it was pretty clear that Jen’s was as well.

After a few minutes, she pulled back. “Are you okay?” she softly asked.

“Actually, I think I’m more than okay,” I smiled shyly. “I’m really liking this.”

“Would you like to do more?”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. “Oh yes,” I exhaled.

“Then let’s go upstairs to my bedroom.”

Jen stood up, took my hand, and led me up the stairs. I followed as if in a trance. When we got to her bedroom, she closed the door behind us. I was frozen in anticipation and excitement, not knowing what to do next but knowing I very much wanted it to happen. Jen must have sensed my nervousness. She gently kissed me again on the lips, then my neck, then my ears. I had goose bumps all over. “Just relax and leave it to me,” she whispered in my ear, “I’m going to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt.”

I stood there numbly, reveling in the electricity coursing through my body. Jen continued to gently kiss my neck and ears as she lightly, ever so lightly, traced her fingers over my back, my arms, my neck, and finally my breasts. My breathing was getting ragged. I felt her unzip my dress and then her fingers were on my bare back gently rubbing. Caressing. I felt her unhook my bra. More light kisses all over. More gentle caresses. I was on fire. And then in one motion she slipped my dress and bra off my shoulders and pushed them to the floor.

She stepped back to look. “I’ve always loved your tits,” she murmured as she now devoted herself to them, gently stroking them, tracing her fingers around them. My nipples were rock hard as she teased them, squeezed them, and finally taking them into her mouth, sucked on them, playing with them with her lips and her tongue. I could hardly breathe. I was tingling all over. Her hands continued to play with my breasts as she slowly kissed her way across my stomach and then knelt.

My panties were soaking wet by this time, but I was too turned on to care. Jen continued to tease me, kissing up and down my inner thighs while lightly tracing the outline of my pussy lips with her fingertips. She kissed my pussy, making me shiver as she caressed my lips through the material. I was lightly gyrating and gasping and moaning when she finally pulled my panties down and softly brushed her lips against my pussy. Jesus!

“Just beautiful,” she sighed.

And then she stood.

“Don’t stop!” I wanted to scream, but Jen clearly had a plan and continued to take charge.

“I think we should move this to the bed,” she said, “but I’m feeling a little overdressed, so first I want you to undress me.” Seriously?!?! This beautiful, younger woman was telling me to undress her?!?!

She took my hands and guided them to the top button of her blouse. I undid it. And then I undid the second. And the third. And then her blouse was hanging loosely, giving me a peak of her red bra underneath.

“Go ahead. Take it off.” I followed her orders, slipping the blouse off of her and dropping it to the floor. I now had a view of her breasts overflowing from the demi-cup bra.

“Now take off my bra.” It was like I was having an out of body experience, blindly following orders from this suddenly dominant woman. Like a robot, I reached behind her, unhooked her bra, removed it, and dropped it on top of her blouse on the floor. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her breasts and the pink nipples which crowned them.

“Touch them,” she instructed. She took my hands and put one on each breast. I cupped her breasts in my hands and felt their weight. I ran my fingertips over them, circling each of her nipples. I delighted as they became erect and I heard her moan in pleasure.

Jen removed my hands. “That’s enough. Now take off my skirt,” she commanded. Who was I to argue? I unzipped her skirt, knelt and pulled it down. I was now face to face with her pussy, covered only by a sheer red thong. I could see her lips and that she was shaved through the material. “Go ahead. Finish the job,” Jen ordered. And I did, pulling her thong to the ground.

This was the first time I had ever been so close to another woman’s pussy and I stared, mesmerized. Before I could do anything else, though, Jen said, “Come here,” and she lifted me up and led me to the bed. I lay down and Jen knelt on top of me, straddling my waist and giving me an unobstructed view of her tits.

“Still okay?” she asked.

“Oh yes.”

“Well you’re about to be even better,” she said, and with that, Jen resumed her achingly slow ministrations. She leaned over, her breasts pressing into mine and kissed me deeply, our tongues plunging into each other’s mouths. She then moved to my ears, my neck, and finally my breasts. I was writhing around on the bed, never having experienced such pleasure. After patiently devoting herself to my tits she moved south, kissing my stomach, my navel, and at last her mouth was where I wanted it - no, needed it.

I needed it desperately, but Jen wasn’t ready to give it to me. She continued to tease me, lightly kissing me up and down both sides of my mound, up and down my inner thighs - everywhere but where I most wanted it. I was gyrating, thrusting, and whimpering, my hands grasping at the sheets.

And then, finally, finally... At the first touch of her tongue on my pussy, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I gasped as I felt it gently probing my lips. Now her tongue was inside me, tasting my wetness, running up and down the length of my slit, but still conscientiously avoiding my clit. I was in ecstasy. I was in agony.

“Please,” I begged, “Jen, please...”

Jen looked up at me and smiled. “What do you want, Liz?”

“My clit...Please.” It was all I could do to get the words out.

“All you had to do was ask, Liz,” and she proceeded to minister to my clit, circling it with her tongue, taking it into her mouth and sucking on it, flicking her tongue back and forth on it. At the same time, she inserted a finger into my pussy and began to fuck me with it.

I had been so close to cumming for so long that that was all it took. I held Jen’s head as I ground my pussy into her face. My head went back and my eyes clenched shut as waves and waves of pleasure shot through my body. I had never known anything could feel so good as this orgasm. I came and came for I don't know how long, clenching my pussy hard around the finger thrusting inside me, pushing hard against the tongue still running over my clit, letting out gasps and moans until finally I couldn’t take any more and pushed Jen’s head away.

She climbed back up to me and gently kissed me. I could taste myself on her lips.

“Still okay?”, she smiled.

“Oh my god! That was the most intense orgasm of my life!”

“I told you so.”

We lay there for awhile, cuddling, kissing and exploring each other when she took my hand and guided it to her pussy. “Feel how wet you’ve made me.” My finger penetrated her lips and entered her sodden pussy. What a turn on to know that I was having this effect on her! I began to probe her pussy with my finger.

“No. That’s not what I want right now. What I want is for you to take your finger out of me and suck on it.”

I complied. It felt so erotic sucking on my finger and tasting my pretty neighbor’s sex.

“Do you like the way I taste?”

“Mmmm...” was all I could say.

“Good, because now I want you to go down on me,” she commanded.

Until then I had been the recipient and beneficiary of Jen’s talented fingers and tongue, but now the roles were reversed. “I want to. I want to make you feel as good as you just made me feel, but I’ve never done this before. I’m worried that I’m going to disappoint you.”

“Sweetheart, don’t worry. Something tells me you’re going to be a natural.”

And with that, I tried to imitate what she had just done to me. Her moans and the gyrating and twisting of her body told me I was doing something right.

Emboldened, I finally reached my goal, licking up and down her slit, tasting her. My tongue found her clit and began to play with it. “Put a finger inside me,” she ordered. “That’s right. Fuck me with your finger, Liz. Harder! Harder!”

Jen held my head in place against her bucking hips and cried out, “Just like that, Liz! Right there! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” And then, “Oh God! I’m cummmming,”

Afterwards we cuddled and kissed some more, and Jen asked me if I wanted to spend the night. Sleeping with her was absolutely exquisite, being held, feeling the softness of her skin against mine, her soft breaths on my neck, her breasts pressed against my back...

I woke up with the sun streaming through the window and the wonderful sensation of Jen lightly kissing the back of my neck. “Mmmm that feels delicious,” I said sleepily as I rolled over to kiss her.

“Well I know something else that feels delicious, and it tastes delicious as well. And speaking from long ago experience, there’s no better way to start the day,” she laughed. And with that, Jen pushed me onto my back and proceeded to go down on me again.

I was no longer drunk, so everything was clearer and more real, and Jesus did it feel good. This was not at all like my husband or Patrick. It was softer, more subtle, and infinitely more pleasurable. I wanted it to last, but in no time at all I felt my body convulsing and ecstasy overtaking me.

Still naked, Jen went downstairs, fixed coffee, and brought it back up. We lay in bed drinking our coffee and talking. “I hope you don’t feel like I took advantage of you last night,” she said, “I was drunk and horny and, well, when you told me that you fantasized about being with another woman, I just decided to go for it.”

“Last night, no. This morning, however,” I laughed. “Seriously, though, you just gave me the best sexual experience of my life. I can’t tell you happy I am!”

“Well I’m happy, too, and since Mark and the kids won’t be back until late this afternoon, why don’t we spend the morning in bed together. There are a few other things I’d like to do with you.”

- - - - -

This happened a few months ago and since then Jen and I have had regular play dates while our husbands are at work and her children at school. She has definitely broadened my sexual horizons and brought me pleasure in ways I never could have imagined.

I didn’t think anyone out there could have the one track mind towards sex that I do, but in Jen I’ve met my match. We’ve become soul mates, and I’ve shared my deepest secrets with her, including my fantasies about Mark and the fact that I’ve been fucking Patrick with my husband’s full knowledge. She, in turn, has shared some revealing things about her marriage and about a secret life, one I never would have imagined my pretty suburban neighbor having.

I’ve always thought that fantasies were just that, fantasies. However, Jen has taught me that that doesn’t have to be the case. Who knows what the future might hold, but with Jen’s guidance and encouragement, anything seems possible.

[earth-ambassador-jim]

The Hand One’s Dealt Chapter 1

Place your Bets

Summary:

Strickler finds out that his student is the new Trollhunter and faces a decision. In another world he might not have hesitated to turn the boy over to Bular's wrath, but in this one... In this one he chooses to take a gamble.

AO3 - Fanfiction

Strickler closed his office door and reached for his phone, ready to call the Janus Order so that Merlin’s latest menace could be taken care of.

Just as his hand brushed the smooth plastic he hesitated.

Battles… Wars even… were often won by a single choice.

He withdrew his hand and instead pulled out his latest stack of test papers. Having been a school teacher for a little over a century now, on and off, the routine of marking the papers was grounding. Eventually he reached the end of the stack and was left twisting his pen in his fingers.

What was he to do about Young Atlas? He could kill the boy quite easily at this point. He had seen Lake’s physical education scores, it would not be difficult. There would certainly be some uproar among the local population but it was not difficult to make a death appear accidental; especially that of a teenage boy. They were so young… foolish... accident prone…

He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. Strickler was self-aware enough to know that he was not a good person. He would not have lived this long if that was the case; kind hearted changelings were hard to come by for a reason. Still that did not mean he didn’t care. He had seen enough of human cruelty over the centuries to not feel a terrible amount of guilt over what was to be done to them, but his brothers and sisters they had never had a choice. The so called “Good” trolls hated changelings; Gum-Gums at least tolerated them. Provided they served the agenda, of course. The moment they showed any sort of hesitation, the tiniest hint that they might go against the will of Gunmar…. Well humans weren’t the only thing on the Gum-Gums’ menu.

And yet…

A human Trollhunter.  And James Lake Jr of all people at that!

This could change everything.

The boy was not yet exposed to Troll prejudices. He was young, malleable and, most importantly, he looked up to Strickler. Walt was, after all, the first person, except for perhaps young Tobias, he had gone to for advice after his encounter with the trolls. Jim had floundered and hid the truth under a poorly constructed lie, but that was not so much indicative of a lack of trust in Strickler so much as a fear of sounding crazy.

Strickler hummed. Yes, he could use this.

He would have to act fast. The longer he waited the more the boy would come to trust his trainers over Strickler and the more likely he would be to buy into their beliefs.  At this particular point in time, the balance was in Walt’s favor. Jim knew him and was comfortable with him. Revealing his true nature might shake that a bit, but ultimately the voluntary revelation of a secret was seen a sign of trustworthiness.

Strickler closed his pen with a sharp click and stood up.

A chance to approach Jim did not present itself until the next day and then quite unexpectedly. Walter had been on his way to his office when he had caught sight of Tobias shoving Jim rather frantically into the locker rooms. Curious, he followed. As he opened the door there was a flash of blue light.

“Jim?”

Had the young fool really activated the amulet in the middle of a high school locker room?

He was met by Tobias who attempted to distract him. Honestly. If he had not been suspicious before he would be now. He would never cease to be amazed by how oblivious students thought their teachers were.

He rounded the corner and took in the sight of his star pupal looking very cornered in a full suit of armor. It took all of his years of training to keep a straight face. Jim smiled sheepishly at him and straightened up with a loud clatter.

“Jim, I don't believe that's appropriate school attire,” Strickler said giving him a pointed look. “Do you?”

He watched with careful aloofness as his students attempted to spin a story about the suit of armor being for the Romeo and Juliet tryouts. Strickler briefly reconsidered his choice not to just report the boy in. Had they even read that play? He was half tempted to call Jim’s bluff just to see how he would do in the auditions.

“I’m sure Ms. Janeth would appreciate your enthusiasm,” Walt said once Jim finished his lie. “But unfortunately that sword violates several school policies. As the principle is out for the moment, please follow me to my office.”

Jim and Tobias paled.

Strickler was not aware it was possible to make a suit of armor clank miserably, but Jim continued to surprise him. He looked as out of place in the Trollhunter armor as the armor itself did in the school. They entered his office and he waved a hand at the piano bench.

“Have a seat.”

Jim sat down looking like he was getting ready to be put on trial for murder.

“So,” He ventured nervously. “Just how much trouble am I in?”

And there was his segue.

“Quite a bit more than you’re aware of at this point I suspect.” Strickler paused a moment for dramatic affect. “Young Trollhunter.”

Jim went as stiff as a board, eyes wide. His mouth opened and closed several times.

“H-how?!”

“There is a lot you don’t know,” He said gently. “That amulet brings you into a conflict that has lasted for millennia. A conflict that I was born into.”

“What? What do you mean? But Blinky told me humans didn’t know about trolls.”

Strickler stood up from behind his desk and walked over to the window.

“Who ever said I was human?”

This was the moment. There would be no going back after this.  He lowered the blinds and then, in a flash of green light, he transformed.

Stricklander turned around slowly and surveyed his student. Jim was staring at him with both his eyes and mouth wide open. At least he wasn’t screaming.

“Oh, do close your mouth, Young Atlas,” He said, making his way over to his desk. “You will catch flies.”

Jim’s mouth snapped closed. He spent a few minutes sputtering incoherently before he managed to form a sentence.

“What are you?”

Stricklander gave him a slight smile as he sat down.

“A changeling,” He said and was pleased when only confusion showed up on his student’s face.

Good, he wasn’t too late.

“Like a fairy?” Jim asked brow furrowing.

Stricklander chuckled at that. “Of course not, fairies lost the war with pixies ages ago. No I’m a troll, but I have the ability to shapeshift into human form.”

With another flash of green he was Walter Strickler, high school English teacher, again.

Jim leaned forward slightly in his seat.

“How do you do that?”

Strickler smiled slightly at his reaction.

“In due time, Young Atlas. Be patient and I will explain everything you need to know.”

Now for the tricky part.

“Naturally it is magic that grants me the ability to switch forms; unfortunately the particulars are not quite as pleasant.”

He leveled a stern look at Jim and the boy straightened up on his stool as if about to receive a particularly important lesson in class.  

“Changelings start out as regular trolls but as whelps, children, they are kidnapped by the Gum-Gums…”

“Gum-Gums?” Jim interrupted.

“Didn’t they tell you about those?” Strickler asked. “Gum-Gums are a race of trolls known for their viciousness. As Trollhunter they will be one of your main concerns. Fortunately there is only one known Gum-Gum remaining on the surface.”

“Would that be Bular by any chance?”  

“Indeed, I can tell you more about him later, for now back to the changelings. The stolen whelps undergo a rather…. nasty process which halts their aging and makes them a changeling. They then undergo years of conditioning both physical and mental. I’ll spare you the details, but it isn’t pleasant. Most of the newly created changelings will be killed off before the end. The surviving changelings are then bound to a human infant, whom they replace. The human stops aging and the changeling grows up in their place.”

“That’s terrible,” Jim said, complexion a little paler than usual. “Why do the Gum-Gums do that? What happens to the baby?”

“The infant is fine. They are all kept in a secret nursery; no harm may come to them if the spell is to work.” Jim’s shoulders loosened a little at that, but he still looked pale. “As for the purpose the Gum-Gums do it to create spies for the surface world.  Changelings can walk in daylight while regular trolls cannot.”

“They can’t?”

“No. Sunlight turns most trolls to stone.”

“Huh. That’s good to know,” Jim said.

“Listen,” Strickler said, standing up from his chair. “We need to talk more, but for now I would like to make you an offer and a request.”

Jim also stood up, armor clanking slightly, and faced Strickler as he came around his desk.  

“Changelings are not particularly liked by either side,” He paused, mentally testing out his wording. “We’re seen as… impure abominations, not human or troll, even though we did not ask for this.”

He rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder and was pleased to see that he did not flinch.

“I know it is a lot right now, but I would like to ask for your help for my people.”

Jim opened his mouth, but Strickler held up a finger to silence him.

“Please take some time to think about this, I know how much you already carry on your shoulders and, as I said, changelings are not well liked. If you answer this call you will be taking on a risk of rejection from the “pure” trolls whom you shall be expected to protect. I don’t want you to enter into this lightly."

He gave Jim’s shoulder a final pat and lowered his hand.

“That said I would like to offer my assistance to you.”

“Your assistance?” Jim asked, eyes a little glazed.

“Yes. If you are willing to set aside some time, I can mentor you in both combat and strategy. I know that in order to survive your new burden you will need all the help you can find.”

Strickler guided Jim toward the door. He paused with his hand on the knob and sought out Jim’s gaze. Once he was certain he had the boy’s full attention, he spoke. It was very important he drove this particular point home.

“One last thing. I would like to request that you do not tell anyone, especially your new troll friends, what I am or that I helped you. If word gets out I will be dead meat… literally.”

“Of course,” Jim said, face paling.

Strickler smiled.

“I’m glad you understand. Now off you go, I’m sure your friend is waiting for you.”

He opened the office door and Toby toppled into the room. He had no doubt the boy attempted to listen in. Unfortunately for him Strickler’s office was soundproofed. Jim helped the sheepish looking boy to his feet.

“Have a safe trip home you two. No more large weapons at school okay?”

“Yes, Mr. Strickler,” Jim replied dutifully.

He started to make his way out of the room, one hand on Toby’s shoulder. Strickler allowed them to exit before clearing his throat. Jim paused in the doorway and looked back at him.

“I would like to emphasize again that my office is always open if you need help.”

Jim gave him a tired but very genuine smile.

“Thank-you.”

“You’re quite welcome, Young Atlas,” Strickler said returning the smile.

He watched as they vanished around the corner. There was a flash of blue as soon as they were out of sight. He hummed and closed the door.  

Strickler waited until he was sure the boys were gone and then crossed the room to the bookshelf. With practiced motions he uncapped his key pen and inserted it into the secret lock, waiting as the shelf slid down. He stepped into his secret study and closed the wall behind him.

It was going to be a long night.

I can't make any guarantees regarding updates on this fic, since I don't have a ton of energy for long fics at the moment, but the idea would not leave me alone until I wrote it, so here you are.

[bakudekuficlibrary]

BakuDeku: Villain Midoriya Izuku, excluding Rape/Non-Con & Underage Content Part I

Click here for Part II!

10 Series. 87 Works.

[Series] Villain!Deku AU by ichikonohakko ( M&E | 26,336+ | 14 Works | WIP )

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence: Part 9 + 10]

[Series] Villain Izuku Midoriya by GreyLiliy ( T&M | 184,055+ | 6 Works | WIP ) 

[Series] Suffocation by DeadDoveExtraordinaire, Raccoonheck ( G&M | 79,813+ | 5 Works | WIP )

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence: Part 1-3 + 5]

Lunchtime by ichikonohakko ( G | 3,102 | 1/1 )

Fucking Deku is sitting in Lunchrush Cafeteria like it was nobody’s business.

((The problem is that Katsuki found himself eating lunch with the vice-leader of League of Villains every fucking day and he motherfucking likes it))

Sleeping With Ghosts by lalazee ( M | 1,003 | 1/1 )

“I guess even heroes have to do their grocery shopping.” “Villains, too,” Katsuki said tightly. “Villains?” Deku blinked, gasping softly as he went to his tip toes and looked over the aisle divider. “Where? Shit, Kacchan, you’d better get on that!”

Written for KatsuDeku Week 2017, Day 2: Heroes/Villains.

Return the Favor by HummusKing ( T | 43,889 | 10/10 )

Instead of Katsuki Bakugou getting kidnapped, Izuku Midoriya risks his life and ends up being taken by the League of Villains. A rescue is ensured, but instead they come face to face with Deku next to All for One, calling him “Sensei”. They discover that Deku’s memories had been altered from the point when Bakugou tells him that if he wants a quirk, he can jump off the school roof and be reborn with one. He believes he did just that, and was reborn with a powerful quirk that rivals Bakugou.

He’d never admit it, but Bakugou had been saved by Deku in more ways than one, so now can he return the favor?

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

That Time Izuku Became a Villain by CaridwenAngetueur1 ( M | 2,819 | 1/1 )

That Time Izuku became a villain.

Series Part 4 of "That Time" series

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Major Character Death]

Bleeding Red Roses by Cerra101 ( E | 19,382+ | 14/? )

Midoriya Izuku might be a tad bit crazy for a certain blonde Omega. 

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

[Series] My Husband Is a Villain and That’s Okay by pt_tucker ( T | 3,408+ | 2 Works | WIP )

My Chosen One by Meekorin ( E | 55,992 | 18/18 )

After All Might’s retirement, Bakugou is moody than ever. Fearing for his dear life that the explosive teen might eat him up, Izuku tries to keep his distance. But as soon as everything seems to finally work out for them, things start to fall apart by a higher power.

[Prototype AU]

[Series] ...Who are you, really? (BNHA) by Sleepy_Princess_Jade, toxic_pineapple ( T&M | 59,353+ | 4 Works | WIP )

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

It’s a Long Road to Redemption, Kacchan by fanfictioniwrite ( M | 20,912+ | 6/? )

Deku followed Bakugou’s advice and took a swan dive off the roof. Five years later they meet again and Izuku has a peculiar quirk that happens to be the hero’s greatest weakness. (“How does it feel to be quirkless, Kacchan?” AU: Villain!Deku, Bakudeku).

Wearing Our Vintage Misery by PeridotWraith ( E | 1,643+ | 1/? )

Izuku fought of the urge to retch as the stench of smoke and—oh god—his own roasting flesh reached him and reached frantically toward the man.

“Help me!” He screamed, “Please!”

But Endeavor just stood there, watching him burn.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Back to Reality by menengaur ( M | 46,975+ | 10/? )

Katsuki’s childhood friend disappeared when they were both seven. While everyone else gave hope, Katsuki made a promise to become the No.1 hero. If he couldn’t find Izuku, then he would at least destroy those who took him.

How will he react when Izuku returns with powers beyond what should be possible.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Always you by KingHugin ( E | 96,612+ | 18/? )

Just another villain Deku AU no one asked for.

Katsuki had always been one of the best heroes of his time - or so he thought. That is until he runs into an old rival who he would rather kill then try to save, unfortunately it does not go the way Katsuki planned. Now trapped in enemy territory Katsuki must learn what it is to be a hero when all the odds are stacked against him.

Maybe he could even save someone along the way.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Cuts Like a Knife by rainbowtourmaline ( T | 20,505+ | 10/? )

“Are you sure you’re not getting nostalgic for the good old days?” His mentor asked as Izuku turned back to look at Katsuki through his binoculars. “It’s never a good idea to dwell on the past my boy.”

“I’m not homesick.” Izuku said with bated breath, his knuckles turning white at how hard he was holding his binoculars. “Just hungry for vengeance and justice.” Or so Izuku believes at the time.

In a world where All Might didn’t say Izuku could become a hero, can Izuku be tempted back to the light side?

Light Through The Cracks by DeadDoveExtraordinaire, Raccoonheck ( M | 22,816 | 7/7 )

When Bakugou goes missing, Deku has to work with the heroes to get him back. Facing an uncertain future, the League of Villains, and the prospect of his mother finding out what he’s become, Deku is in a race against time to save Bakugou before his own mental health completely collapses.

Sequel to Bruises and Broken Glass

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

The Long Road Out Of The Dark by DeadDoveExtraordinaire, Raccoonheck ( M | 43,770 | 16/16 )

Deku finally gets the chance to live out his childhood dream of being a hero. At this point, he’d much rather be a villain.

Sequel to Bruises and Broken Glass and Light Through The Cracks

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Call Me... Deku by AnimeFanGirl2223 ( E | 33,523+ | 13/? )

Midoriya had enough of being insulted, being told no, being called quirkless. It was too much and he decided on a much darker path. BakuDeku; Angst to the max.

Or

A lone figure watched from a distance as Bakugo prostrated himself, hidden ominously behind the trunk of a large willow tree. He tilted his head to the side, finding the sight strange, but intriguing all the same. He knew the blonde would stay there for a while longer.

Katsuki always stayed until 8:56 every Friday night. It would seem odd to everyone else, but to those who knew what had happened, it made complete sense. Izuku Midoriya jumped off the roof of his middle school at 6:15 PM on a Friday and was pronounced dead at 8:56 just a week later, his broken body losing the battle against its injuries.

“Deku… the Master is wanting to speak with you.” A voice whispered.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

You shattered me, They saved me by ASLlover23 ( E | 8,748+ | 8/? ) 

Izuku Midoriya was a quirkless boy but he never let that get in the way of his dreams, even when Kacchan beat him and told him it was impossible to become a hero he never gave up. Until the day his hero, his idol All Might crushed him, he felt something in him break the day All Might told him he could never be a hero without a quirk. Good thing Tomura was there to help pick up the pieces, he’d make All Might regret the day he shattered the quirkless boy.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

brutality runs in our blood by 3rdgymbros ( T | 1,527 | 1/1 )

“New kids to babysit.” Izuku drawls out lazily, dropping a quick kiss onto Bakugou’s mouth. “Play nice with them, won’t you, Kacchan?” 

Game of Survival by odasaku (jemtessa) ( T | 11,160+ | 6/? )

“Today marks ten years since elementary school boy, Midoriya Izuku, disappeared.”

10 years ago Katsuki’s childhood friend Midoriya Izuku went missing after school one day, there has been no word on his friend since that day. Not until Katsuki and the rest of Class 1-A with the addition of Class 1-B go on a school trip for training camp in which the two of them are reunited…

the only problem Midoriya Izuku is a villain.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Tied Up With Strings by Penkindisbestspecibus ( M | 19,330+ | 4/?)

The legend of the ‘Red String of Fate’ is such that lovers who are destined to be together are bound by a single red string, and this string will inexorably draw them closer together until they fall in love. A romantic, wishful sort of myth.

Bakugou Katsuki has no idea what it is that seems to bind him to Midoriya Izuku, but if he had to put a name on it, he’d probably call it the ‘Black String of Hate’.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Marked as Claimed by Shadowolven ( E | 15,705+ | 4/? )

His pills weren’t working.

Shit. Fuck!

His pills weren’t working.

But the realization came far too late for Katsuki Bakugou. 

[Series]Izuku, Don't listen to Deku by Sleepy_Princess_Jade ( Not Rated | 12,923+ | 1 Work | WIP )

no hell had ever burned so sweet by 3rdgymbros ( T | 1,913 | 1/1 )

“But Kacchan, saving people is what heroes do. And I’m not a hero. Neither are you. We abandoned that title a long time ago, remember?”

Criminal by Aniimone ( M | 22,139 | 20/20 )

Izuku gave up on becoming a hero in middle school. It was after his mom died from an expensive but curable disease that he came to the realization that those who are strong enough to play by the rules are the only ones who can. The rest have to break them just to survive, and quirkless Izuku definitely doesn’t fit into the first category.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

oh, the skies (tumbling from your eyes) by ideation ( E | 6,425 | 1/1 )

Everything is a whirl of sensation and conflicting emotions and words that make both no sense and too much all at once, but despite the overload there is one undeniable truth that sticks, that tastes like bile in the back of his throat and fills his lungs like water until he thinks he’ll never again know what it is to breathe, and it is this: Midoriya Izuku loves him, and this is the result.

[Series] You can turn back time but you can't forget the things you've lost along the way by Aniimone ( T | 26,343+ | 2 Works | WIP )

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Major Character Death]

The Past is Long Past Dead by Unoutan ( M | 5,736+ | 1/? )

Bakugou Katsuki hasn’t seen Midoriya Izuku since they were thirteen. Midoriya has been classified as missing ever since, All Might’s public admittance of failure before retiring his cloak to Togata Mirio. Thirteen years later, Pro-Hero Bakugou stumbles upon a familiar face in the Red Light District of Tokyo Nightlight during his patrols…

“D…Deku?”

“Eh? K-Kacch-” Slapping both hands over his mouth, Midoriya Izuku, with the same stupid wide green eyes looked at him.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Walking the Line by StormyChaos, TheatricalPlacenta ( M | 24,024+ | 3/? )

Izuku had been changing, though as it would seem, Katsuki was the only one to notice. It might have had something to do with the fact Izuku never acted differently around anyone but Katsuki, but this year… their senior year, it only seemed to get worse.

Like every mask, when worn constantly, it begins to erode… worn and torn, cracking under the pressure…

Izuku never thought he’d slip, but there he was, his heart walking the fine line between justice and villainy, unsure of just who he was… or what he’d become.

No matter what, one thing was for sure; Katsuki burned deep inside his core.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

[Series] as we both come undone by Amber_Flicker ( T | 2,692+ | 2 Works | WIP )

Innocence ( E | 3,372+ | 5/? )

He won’t cry. If they saw his tears, they’d call him weak. He isn’t weak. Yet, the tears still fall. Just as he thought, everyone laughs harder. Everyone except Kacchan.

No matter how much he yells that he hates Deku, he doesn’t. He genuinely cares about him, and seeing Deku look like shit is bringing out some weird protective side in him.

[Series]The Wolf by BrightEyesEren for SlendShady(1-3), Star_Princess, FireFaithe(4) ( M&E | 16,549 | 4 Works | Completed )

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence] [Major Character Death]

On the Clock by battle_goats ( M | 1,068 | 1/1 )

His clothing was so nondescript, anyone who didn’t know better would assume the young man was a civilian. But no, he was a villain. Katsuki’s villain. The one he’d created, however unintentional. His Deku. 

Breaking Things Into Pieces by MediaMaxine ( T | 2,622+ | 2/? )

As a child, Midoriya Izuku longed for a quirk. He wanted to be a hero. He wanted to save. He wanted to be like All Might.

As a child, Midoriya Izuku got a quirk. A quirk that should’ve helped him be a hero. To his classmates, it made him a villain. He just can’t seem to win with these people can he?

Society wants heroes. His peers see a villain. Kacchan sees Izuku.

Until he disappears that is.

(Formally named Rehabilitation)

Void of Pain by Running_wild829 ( T | 17,920+ | 8/? )

Kidnapped by his own villainous father at the young age of six, raised by villains since then and sent on countless missions filled with murder, Midoriya Izuku is anything but normal. He may be fifteen years old, and have a quirk, but that doesn't make him normal. He's been careful on all his jobs, except this one. When Shigaraki turns him loose to kill the infamous Hero Killer Stain, he gets sloppy and goes down at the hands of a couple of Yuuei kids. Dragged into the police station and waking up to a detective giving him a second chance was the last thing he thought would ever happen in his fucked-up life...

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Heroes are Remembered but Legends Never Die by Star_Crossed_Aliens ( M | 6,653+ | 4/? )

Izuku wasn’t truly ready to hear the words he dreaded so much from the one person he admired the most.

“You can’t become a hero.”

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence] [Major Character Death]

Believe in Me by OwO_all_around ( M | 8,489+ | 8/? )

Because he had no quirk, no one believed in him.

They couldn’t believe in his abilities, his lovely mind, nor his potential.

Instead, they chose to ridicule him, pity him, bully him.

So when All for One tells him that he believed in him. He decided to follow him.

The world never believed he could make an impact before, and now they are all gonna regret that decision.

Especially Katsuki Bakugo.

Note: Midoriya is like evil Batman (Owlman?) in this story (no powers, just super evil and smart)

[Major Character Death]

Let me fix it by doki_for_you ( Not Rated | 2,172+ | 4/? )

“As the owner of those words, you’ll have to bear its weight, Bakugou Katsuki.”

On that day, Midoriya Izuku disappeared. And with his disappearance, Bakugou is forced to bear the weight of his words and actions. Overcome with guilt, he lives day-to-day looking for redemption.

But when Izuku returns as an empty, broken shell of a villain, can Bakugou finally make things right again?

Our Path Set On Stone by MaiaMizuhara ( T | 5,214 | 1/1 )

“What are you watching?”

The green haired boy just barely turned his head towards the direction of the voice, “They are talking about us, check it out.”

The headlines were “The Villain Duo ‘Deku and Ground Zero’ Make an Appearance Again!” The same video clip was being replayed through the whole program; both villains had their backs to the camera and were running away from a hero who was following them.

“Those pathetic asswipes will never get us,” Katsuki commented and smirked.

His partner grinned and turned around, walking away from the screen in the middle of the street.

Nobody notices as they disappear through the mass of oblivious people.

KatsuDeku week Day 2 - Heroes/Villains/Vigilantes

Series Part 2 of September KatsuDeku week 2017

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Major Character Death]

 I'll Save You From Your Distorted Mind by Deku_Yasha  ( M | 18,725+ | 7/? ) 

Izuku, kidnapped at age 6, experimented on and tortured to trigger a powerful Quirk. Hes been gone for 10 years, presumed dead after 3.

He shows up one night, confronting a dumbfounded Katsuki in a darkened alley. Katsuki, haunted by guilt and regret for not saving Izuku that day, steels himself to save Izuku from the League of Villains and his own distorted mind.

Izuku reveals he has big plans for Katsuki.

Shattered Minds and Lost Chances ( M | 3,070 | 1/1 )

He leaned close to Katsuki’s face, once again only inches away. This close, Katsuki could see the despair in Izuku’s crazed eyes. “Or maybe, I just don’t want you to live in a world where you can become this, like me.”

(Izuku Midoriya disappeared the day of the UA exam, and many months later, after being kidnapped by the Villains’ Alliance, Katsuki Bakugou figures out what happened.)

[Major Character Death]

Jet Black Ice by demonglass ( T | 2,706 | 1/1 )

Bakugou Katsuki doesn’t dwell on the past. On the things he’s done before. But when he comes face to face with someone so familiar, yet so unrecognizable, the decision to relive all their terrible history is out of his hands. 

Series Part 1 of I Saw You In My Dream

Contradiction (Villain Deku) by Purplemerald ( M | 10,656 | 4/4 )

Midoriya Izuku wakes up smiling to see Shigaraki Tomura in his bed. He is a villain. A part of the League. But memories keeps hazing, his head aching and he sees blood in his hands for no reason.

He was always a villain, shut down by the very hero he admired. Right?

Why does he see himself in a UA uniform? Who are these people popping in his dreams? Why is Kacchan, his bully, smiling in his dreams and holding his hands?

"Izuku."

He is a villain. Right?

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Major Character Death]

The Caged Bird by Daiako (Achrya) ( E | 5,863 | 1/1 )

Some people are wound too tight to ever let go of control, even when it comes to their fantasies. Katsuki is one of those people. “I told you.” The demon purred. “I built this just for you. I’ve been watching you, learning everything about you, how your power works, your weaknesses, your strengths. How to keep you contained in there.” He twisted his wrist and a book appeared in his hand, palm sized and leather bound. The demon clutched it to to their chest, eyes starry. “How you sleep, what you like to eat, how to groom your wings and take care of you. I made sure I’d be able to keep you safe and happy, Kacchan.”

Kacchan. The named sparked something in his brain, stilled the hand he was about to thrust through the bars to grab the giggling demon asshole in favor of looking him over again, trying to find something he knew in that soft, shadowed face. “Do I know you?”

Series Part 7 of 14 Days of Lust

[Series] the rehabilitation of a dream by kewltie ( T | 5,562+ | 1 Work | WIP )

The best intentions by TsunaidaMay ( E | 24,037 | 17/17 )

It feels sooo good to be bad <3

Villain Deku AU.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Super Freak by Dana91 ( E | 3,400+ | 1/3 )

That was only an undercover mission, simply as that. Nothing big - fuck he preferred to explode shit - nothing difficult.

At least, that's what Bakugo thought before meeting the Queen.

How to be a Hero by violet569 ( T | 7,114+ | 5/? )

Izuku Midoriya was not the person he wanted to be.

He wanted to be a hero.

A reality check from the person he looked up to most, his idol, his hero, told him that he never could be.

"Say," the figure standing before him started, his red eyes gleaming through the fingers of the detached hand on his face. "How would you like to join me in taking down the heroes, once and for all?”

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

[Series] BNHA villain au by BlackRabbit_13 ( T | 14,190+ | 2 Works | WIP [Part 1: Discontinued] )

Day 6: Rain/Stargazing - Dance With the Devil by a_genderfluid_otter ( G | 3,114 | 1/1 )

Midoriya Izuku vanished off of the face of the earth five years prior, but suddenly Katsuki is seeing ghosts in the most unlikely of places.

---

At a certain point, Katsuki couldn’t be hallucinating anymore, could he? It was more than just the snippets of dark green hair in a crowd, of fair skin, of catching his laughter in the air and it’d been that way for weeks now--Katsuki looked up to see green eyes beneath an otherwise plain black masquerade mask meeting his, lips splayed into a gentle, kind smile. To see it five years ago would have been ordinary--to see it now was the dead walking again.

Part 6 of KatsuDekuWeek 2017

Rabbits by thegreatmisfit ( T | 18,183+ | 11/? )

Izuku was the number one villian and Katsuki was the number one hero.

izuku's mom died and while Katsuki is apprehending the villian he was chasing

and now Izuku is taking revenge a liitle bit across the line and ended up killing all of his classmates

or is he?

an AU where katsuki's emotions are being torn apart and Izuku being a lunatic

(micromanaging this fic while college is killing me)

Remember Me? by HG_Wells ( T | 7,719+ | 2/? )

The day after enrolling at UA, Izuku Midoriya is kidnapped off the streets. He was brainwashed to think he has always been a villain and the ways of the villains are correct, especially about the unyielding hatred of All Might. But in the back of his mind only very faint echo's of the only name he's called, Deku, fill his head, along with the vision of ash blonde hair and deep red eyes.

Seiza by The_Queen_Of_Angst ( Not Rated | 18,979+ | 3/? )

Midoriya Izuku wants nothing more than to fade away into the dark abyss that is the universe. He wants nothing more than to feel his soul become one with the kaleidoscopic mauve, mulberry, and mangenta that peppers and swirls amongst the gleaming constellations above. When he finally snaps and takes matters into his own hands, his fate is saved (or perhaps soiled furthermore) by a peculiar sapphire-haired man.

Or, my take on the Villain!Deku AU

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Major Character Death]

[lelandrussell-blog]

How One Courageous Choice Changed the Course of My Life

"You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both." ~ Brené Brown

I’ve had an amazing life with many wonderful moments. I've also experienced challenging Transitions, moments when I had to face the fact that a phase of my life was ending.

One of those Transitions came in the late 1980s when the business that I'd been building for years with a close-knit team was no longer viable. What had been working, no longer worked. An era was ending.

Ready or not, I was now in Transition. William Bridges, the author of The Way of Transition, says there are three phases: Endings, The Neutral Zone, Beginnings.

The Neutral Zone was the most challenging for me. It was difficult living in limbo between a known past and an unknown future. I felt like I was locked in a car stuck in neutral. No matter how hard I tried, I could not engage the gears. I could not move forward.

The best advice I’ve ever heard about how to break free from the Neutral Zone came from Steve Jobs:

“Have the COURAGE to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

Listen to The Whispers

Late one night I was explaining my predicament to my older and wiser mentor. "I'm trying as hard as I can to figure out what to do, but I'm stuck. I'm worried about my future. I'm losing faith."

After a pregnant pause, she leaned over and spoke softly in my ear. "The solution is simple, Leland."

“Stop the noise for a while and listen to the whispers. If you don’t, you will miss many important messages.”

I took her advice. By relaxing physically and mentally, I stopped the noise in my mind. I learned to cultivate calm and listen for the whispers. It took a while but finally, I heard one message very clearly: "Do something totally new. Do something bigger and better than you’ve ever done before.”

Unfortunately, that was all I got ─ a message with three key words: "New, Bigger, Better." It certainly lacked the specificity I was hoping for. It did, however, cause me to focus my thinking on a key question: What would be totally new for me?

I pondered that question for several weeks with no results. Then, another whisper, one word: LEADERSHIP. That was broad, but it was enough for me to shift my mind out of neutral and engage my creative gears.

I moved into learning mode. I read some great leadership books, like On Becoming a Leader by Warren Bennis, and The Female Advantage: Women’s Ways of Leadership by Sally Helgesen. I subscribed to respected periodicals, like the Harvard Business Review. I attended conferences that focused on leadership.

At my first conference, there were compelling presentations and drill-down workshops on a wide range of topics. Hearing diverse perspectives about leadership from some of the smartest people in the field really fired my neurons, but it also left me feeling overwhelmed.

Absorbing so much knowledge in one dose had a definite downside — once my cognitive capacity was surpassed, the additional knowledge was just noise.

After the conference, I reflected on what happened. Was the problem merely too much knowledge in one dose? Maybe that was a part of it, but I sensed there was something else — the way I was "downloading" the knowledge. Everything was flowing into one big file folder in my mind in no particular order. It was a mess.

After doing some research, I concluded that the real problem was between my ears. I had no mental model, no master cognitive framework to help me organize, prioritize, and apply the knowledge I was downloading. This core concept ultimately affected everything that followed.

Something Bigger and Better

By learning relentlessly about leadership, I was following through on the first part of what my heart and intuition had whispered to me: “Do something totally new.” But I had not yet addressed the second part of the message: “Do something bigger and better than you’ve ever done before.” I wondered what that could be.

There were several possibilities and they all aligned around the theme of leadership and the critical importance of mental models.

To put what happened next into context, let's time travel back to 1989. It was the beginning of an era of unprecedented change unleashed by the end of the cold war. The world had become more volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous than ever before. What did this mean for leaders?

I remembered feeling overwhelmed by too much knowledge during my first leadership conference. I suspected that leaders might be having a similar problem dealing with the avalanche of new knowledge about how to manage change. That insight triggered the choice that changed the course of my life.

I would design and deliver an innovative leadership forum. It would provide leaders with a mental model for responding to the global change forces unleashed by the end of the cold war.

Looking back, it’s clear that it was a courageous choice because I was a novice in the field of leadership. I had no scholarly credentials or personal contacts who could give me advice. I was on my own sailing into the unknown.

In short, I had no idea HOW I would design and deliver an innovative leadership forum. I did, however, have self-confidence and I believed what W.H. Murray, the Scottish mountaineer, had said:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

The bold idea was to create a macro mental model for responding to global change. I soon came up with one — The GEO Paradigm™.

"GEO" was an acronym for the three global change forces reshaping the world: Globalization, Empowerment, and Orchestration of Technology.

"Paradigm" is a way of perceiving the world. It frames the boundaries of your attention and defines the rules for success within the boundaries.

After that, just as W.H. Murray predicted, magical things began to happen.

My friend, William Shatner, agree to support the idea financially and be the spokesman. His involvement led to major organizations — Motorola, General Electric, Northern Telecom, and several others — becoming sponsors. Then, Fortune magazine agreed to promote it.

With that extraordinary support in place, thought leaders from a variety of fields agreed to contribute their insights. I spent several months conducting video interviews with over 80 of them — CEOs, prominent authors, top executive educators, and even a presidential candidate, Bill Clinton.

The format for the forum was, as intended, truly innovative. A multidisciplinary creative team helped me actualize the vision of a one-day "Knowledge Concert". The key GEO learning points were illuminated with panoramic multimedia sequences, thought leader insights on video, music-image videos, and stage scenes with live actors. All of this was grounded by short, single point presentations, small group dialogues, and an elaborate 100-page "Handbook for the Future" with application knowledge organized under three tabs — The Future Now, Blueprints for Success, Resources for Action.

When we delivered the GEO Paradigm™ Knowledge Concert to over 600 senior leaders, the response was overwhelmingly positive.

Click here to see a 2-minute video overview of the forum.

When we asked participants what most appealed to them about the GEO Paradigm™ Knowledge Concert, the responses fell into three categories:

The ‘stickiness’ of the G-E-O acronym. It accomplished exactly what I had intended — it embedded a macro mental model that helped leaders make sense of the world that was then unfolding.

Actionable Knowledge for Mastering Change. Fortune magazine described the forum as an “advanced corporate education program to prepare senior management for the challenges of change.”

A Synthesis of Emerging Leadership Practices. One of the attendees summed it up this way: “They’ve have taken years of experience, results, and good concepts, and put all into a one-day presentation. It’s an amazing event.”

What A Difference A Day Makes

The ‘word of mouth’ about the one-day forum triggered ripple effects that continued for several years. Here are a few examples:

Over 1000 organizations around the world licensed the leadership development video —Tearing Down the Walls: The GEO Change Forces — that was created from the Knowledge Concert™ content.

General Motors licensed the GEO Change Forces video as the centerpiece of a series of change management workshops that ultimately reached 57,000 GM managers.

AT&T invited me to deliver a keynote address for a national leadership meeting on managing change. They also licensed the GEO Change Forces video to use in a series of large-scale events that the CEO held across the country to ‘rally the troops’ to deal with the challenge of change.

National associations in a variety of fields engaged me to customize GEO Paradigm™ Knowledge Concerts for their annual conferences and produce follow-up video learning packages for their members.

Last, but certainly not least, was the founding of GEO Group Strategic Services. Its initial mission was to help leaders meet change-related challenges and opportunities.

The firm has been the most enduring ripple effect. GEO Group Strategic Services is now celebrating its 30th anniversary.

There are three leadership lessons in this Knowledge Byte:

EXPECT TRANSITIONS - At points in your life, you will experience the challenge of Transition, moments when an era of your life is ending. A Transition has three phases: Endings, The Neutral Zone, Beginnings. The Neutral Zone is the most challenging because for a time you will be living in limbo between a known past and an unknown future.

CHOOSE COURAGEOUSLY - When you are in Transition, you must decide where to go next. Steve Job's advice is to “have the COURAGE to follow your heart and intuition." Brené Brown points out that "You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both."

CHOICES HAVE RIPPLE EFFECTS - A choice you make during a Transition can have ripple effects that go far beyond what you might imagine. In my story, one courageous choice changed the course of my life. But every choice, even small ones, also have ripple effects.

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Thank you for reading this GEO Knowledge Byte™. I'd appreciate hearing from you.

If you add a comment below, I’ll get back to you.

Leland Russell | Founder & CEO | GEO Group Strategic Service