#mental illness is a bitch because I sure do not like feeling this way about something I can just ignore

[puppytoast]

Being weird about silly stuff again but sometimes I wish I could blacklist terms on discord like I can on social media cuz man I sure do not enjoy seeing subject of something that caused me ptsd that has gotten a majorly popular media type being discussed in nearly every community i'm in rn. Like it is 100% my problem and I can deal with it but i'm just like emotionally tired and gotta vent a little cuz there is no real good solution except to deal ya kno

Anyway I hope everyone has had a nice new year

[here-there-were-dragons]

my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.

she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.

the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.

so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.

and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.

it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.

just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.

[genderqueer-karma]

beloved moots i’m sorry but i have to be unwell

[vampirememory]

quality ✧ do you need to lower or raise your standards? [Love PAC]

Hello! I believe this is my first pick a card of 2024, I hope you appreciate the topic I chose. This is something that I recently had to recognize and deal with myself, so hopefully you find this reading helpful.

Pick a photo or a number one through three and continue reading to find your reading.

One

No, absolutely not. If anything, your standards are too low. You are like me, at least myself a few weeks/months ago when I did not value myself. You need to understand that you are 100% valuable and loved, and that there is nothing that can depreciate your value. You may have been overconsuming readings, questioning as to why you continue getting into toxic relationships or completely lack a relationship and it's because you have a negative sense of self. Listening to self-worth or self concept subliminals may help you. You are worthy of a healthy, happy relationship but you need to be healthy yourself first. Now keep in mind, healthy does not mean without illnesses. I know from my experience with depression, I will never be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy outlook on life and a healthy sense of self, which is what you are looking for. Especially for my mentally ill friends, no one (not here, at least) is expecting you to be 100% healthy but to be as healthy as you can be, if that makes sense.

Two

Girlie, I hate to tell you but your standards are high as fuck. But is that a bad thing? You tell me. To be clear, when I say girlie I am 100% being gender neutral, this reading is for everyone ^-^! You're giving boss bitch energy, but are you actually a boss bitch? One thing about having high standards is that you also need to meet those standards yourself and you need to ask yourself "would someone like that want to date me"? For example, if you're really aiming for a basketball player or the top CEO, are you actually in a mental and physical space where that will happen? Are you out on the courts, networking and integrating yourself into sports environments? Are you working your way up to the top, making connections with higher ups and building a good reputation? I think you may have good standards, but you aren't reaching them yourself or not putting yourself in environments where you'll meet said person. Also make sure you are actually maintaining those standards too. If you think education is important, and you're actively in education and want someone else who is too, why settle for someone who hates education or isn't looking to educate themselves? Things like that make all the difference. If you want to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk too.

Three

This pile gives me much softer vibes than the other two piles. Your standards and romantic requests may be more traditional, you may want the house and the kids and the white picket fence and that's totally fine! I think you're doing well in terms of your standards, you uphold them and you aren't putting yourself in situations where you are with people who are against that dream or against those standards. I do need to warn you, however, that there are a lot of exploitive people out there, especially when it comes to wanting a more traditional homelife. Waiting is a completely fine thing to do. Don't jump at the first person that looks nice and ticks all the boxes because they may be lying. I don't see terrible things happening for you but I feel like I needed to include a warning. Just be careful and you'll get your wishes <3.

Thats all for today my friends! Check out my masterlist for my previous readings and remember to stay safe in this crazy world! Feel free to send asks with any topics you would like to see in the future.

[lnfours]

Helloooo prompt (maybe reverse) "i pictured you with other girls in love... then threw up on the street." With Lando x reader (she is a legal expert for McLaren) having a fight because he underestimate her job. So during a social event, after seeing her smiling and talking with Charles about her work activities, he gets jealous and afraid of losing her.

god anon, thanks for killing me! tom’s-gf has been found dead!!

this also got so long omg i’m sorry

10k celebration

lando felt sick. physically ill, almost like he was going to throw up.

“you okay, mate?” oscar asked his teammate and friend, worry etching his face. lando was unaware of his paleness, his eyes visibly sad as he looked over towards where you were standing with charles.

he had his arm wrapped around your waist, head leaning down towards your face so he could hear what you were talking to him about. you had a bright smile on your face and he could tell you said something funny with the way his friend’s eyes squeezed shut, both of your giggles almost loud enough to be heard over the noise.

“lando?”

his attention flipped back to the aussie next to him, shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows as he desperately tried to fight off the nauseating thoughts of you and his friend that snuck into his head. anxiety was a fucking bitch.

“yeah, i’m good. why?”

“you look pale,” oscar stated, “and you keep looking at y/n and charles with this weird look in your eyes, almost like you’re sad.”

lando shook his head, swallowing the sip of his drink, “nah, i’m good, mate,”

oscar quirked an eyebrow, “did something happen between the two of you?”

lando immediately was transported back to the hotel mentally, where a little over an hour ago the two of you had it out. he was frustrated, and he took it out on you, which he shouldn’t have done. and one thing led to another…

“seriously, lando, i don’t fucking tell you how to drive the car! why’re you trying to tell me how to do my job?!”

“i’m just saying that maybe you should try getting behind the wheel of a literal rocket before you complain about your job to me.”

he didn’t mean to sound like he was underestimating you or your job, he knew you worked hard for the company. he knew how many late nights you had pulled at the office to get extra work done and to stay ahead of things. he wasn’t entirely sure why he said what he said, but now he was really wishing time travel was real so he could go back and undo it.

lando’s silence was an answer, “mate, just go talk to her. i’m sure she’s over it by now, whatever it is. you know her, she doesn’t stay angry for long.”

oscar was right. you got over things quickly, only really needing twenty minutes before you moved onto the next thing. but right now, the anxiety was eating at him as he watched charles lean in closer to you for a photo. he just had this overwhelming feeling that you hated him and that this was it. it was the end of the road for the two of you.

oscar grabbed the glass from his teammate before shoving him forward, “my god, go!”

lando compiled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he concentrated on not letting his legs give out as he walked towards you two. your eyes landed on the worried looking brit, your eyebrows furrowing. your confused look caused charles to turn around.

“hey, mate,” charles said, “you’ve gotta hear about this story y/n just told me-“

“actually,” lando cleared his throat, “i was wondering if i could borrow her. i’ve got to talk to her,”

he sucked in a nervous breath as you responded, “yeah,” you grabbed your purse off of the bar behind you, looking over at the man next to you, “i’ll be right back.”

you led lando through the groups of people, the fresh air filling lando’s lungs as he desperately tried to feel better. you stood in front of him, searching his eyes.

“you look pale,” you frowned, placing the back of your hand on his forehead, “you feeling okay?”

his heart was going a mile a minute, his hand grabbing yours. your eyes met his in silent question, “i’m sorry.”

your expression softened, “lando-“

“no,” he said softly, “i’m sorry. i know how hard you work, and i had no right to yell at you or tell you that your job isn’t hard. i could never do the things that you do. you’re absolutely incredible and i’m sorry,”

you let him ramble on, waiting for the right time to speak, “you never complain and it was dick move for me to yell, just please…”

he felt like he couldn’t breathe. you frowned, knowing what was going through his mind all too well. a small tear dropped from his eyelashes and your heart shattered in your chest, “lando,”

he licked his lips, teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. his shoulders shook and you reached out to him as he let out a quiet sob. you wiped the tears away from his cheeks before wrapping your arms around his neck. he breathed in the smell of your shampoo, immediately clinging to you as he buried his head into your hair.

you rubbed his back, “it’s okay. i promise, it’s okay,”

he sniffled softly, “you’re just the best thing to ever happen to me, and i don’t want to lose you over a stupid argument. i’m sorry. so so sorry,”

you pulled away, meeting his glossy eyes and giving him a soft smile as you wiped away the fallen tears, “it’s gonna take a lot more than a silly argument to push me away.”

he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled, “there’s that smile.”

he rolled his eyes playfully, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, mumbling a soft, “shut up,”

you reached up and planted a kiss on his lips. his mumbling against yours when he pulled away to breathe, “i love you.”

“i love you more, handsome.”

[starstruckmoony]

Can I get a FIC abt the reader being Theodore’s gf and best friend and she’s embarrassed and alone in her dorm bc of cramps and they are REALLY REALLY bad and he just comforts her and they snuggle and he gives her his hoodie and fluffy!! (I’m dying from my cramps in my bed rn 🙏 I need comfort from my book bf)

thank you for this request anon!! i am so so so sorry for taking longer than i should have but i've just been all over the place with requests and in just general this past week 😭 so yeah i am a little late but i hope you're feeling better and that this meets your expectations <333333

in between.

masterlist , requests

pairing - theodore nott x slytherin!reader

trope/tags - fluff

word count - 1.7k

warnings - descriptive period pains

waking up in time for class was always difficult for you. not even because you were lazy or didn't care about your grades enough, but mostly because theodore, your boyfriend and number one favourite person in the world, had an annoying little habit of staying inside of your room until pansy chased him out because she wanted her beauty sleep. most of the time, that would be somewhere around two in the morning. and you had to get up at six. four hours of sleep. wonderful. usually, you didn't mind. you didn't like getting out of bed, anyway.

but this morning, you very much minded. your eyes snapped open, you weren't entirely sure what had woken you up. you grunted, irritated, and disappeared under your two blankets to shield yourself from the cold of the dawn, sighing when your realised you that you'd have to get up in no less than ten minutes. with transfiguration as your first class, too. how you loved having to turn tables into chairs first thing in the morning.

but then you felt it. a terrible sensation in your abdomen, so harsh it felt like sharp knife was slicing through you. it took everything in you not release a pained moan. the discomfort spread almost all the way to your upper thighs, coming in constant strong waves. you groaned, hiding further under the covers and curling yourself up into a ball.

you wanted to cry. not only were you exhausted, but you were also in a tremendous amount of pain. you had got your period the night before, and it was going kind of smoothly... as smooth as they go... so you weren't really expecting to wake up with a dying wish to pass the hell away barely five hours later.

pansy's footsteps sounded throughout the room, and you heard the bathroom door shut. you didn't move a muscle. a few moments later, it opened again, and she paced around for a bit, shuffling through her trunk and then your own when she couldn't find a clean pair of socks. she was humming some tune as she got ready, seeming to be in an okay mood, but then she scoffed. her steps got louder as she neared your bed, pulling the covers off of you.

"bitch, you'll be la– oh merlin, are you alive?" she was a little startled seeing you resemble the appearance of an ill victorian child, but nevertheless took a seat at the edge of your mattress, "no." you dragged out, retrieving your precious blanket. you couldn't recall the last time you felt this bloody awful.

"period cramps, huh?" she made a sympathetic face at you, very familiar with that struggle. you only nodded. she hugged you and stayed like that for a bit, before standing up and walking over to her drawer. she dug out a few chocolate frogs and tossed them over to you.

you muttered a strained thank you, collecting them all. you placed them onto your night stand, grunting. you knew that they probably wouldn't help as much as you wished for them to, but you still appreciated your friend for trying. it was the least she could do in those circumstances.

she sighed, picking up her bag and throwing it over her shoulder, "i'll tell mcgonagall you won't be coming in today." you sat up immediately, getting a bit stressed, "don't tell theo."

"huh?" she deadpanned, eyeing you like you had gone mental.

"i don't want him to worry." you explained with a shrug, wincing when the cramps got stronger. you knew what your boyfriend was like, meaning you were aware that he'd come running right to you if pansy were to tell him about the dreadful state you were in. you didn't really want him to see you like that. your head was beginning to hurt, too.

she rolled her eyes, "as if he won't come looking for you the moment he sees you aren't with me." she bent down and picked up a dirty stocking, throwing it at you. and she was right. theodore loved you more than all of his friends combined, so you could already picture him bolting through the dungeons and straight through your door after seeing that you were missing. he wouldn't even have to be told why you weren't present.

pansy left then, leaving you to suffer all alone. you were barely able to get out of bed to clean yourself up. even moving around was hard. it took you about two minutes to drag yourself to the bathroom and and another fifteen to leave it. managing your hygiene had never been more exhausting.

just as you collapsed back into your bed, ready for a few more hours of torture, the door of your room opened. there went theodore, holding one of his hoodies, a bunch of period products you weren't sure how he acquired, and some chocolates he had stolen from lorenzo's drawer. your heart may have simply melted.

"hi." you peeked at him from beneath the covers, your voice small and tired.

"oh, love." his face twisted with concern as he took in the sight of you. he quietly shut the door and was next to your bed in a matter of seconds. he clumsily set all of the things he brought onto your nightstand, eager to have you in his arms as soon as possible. he shrugged off his robes, kicking his shoes away too. you tried to sit up, and once you did, he took the opportunity to take the shirt you had slept in off of you. he replaced it with his hoodie before settling down next to you. it smelled like him, which was also one of your favourite things in the world. you sighed, a warm feeling overwhelming you.

"tell me if you need anything and i'll get it for you, okay?" he brought the blankets all the way up to your neck, throwing an arm around you and pulling you close. he was willingly missing out on classes for you. could you just let that slide?

"theo–" he placed a finger against your lips to hush you, "i can take one day off, it's not like it's gonna kill me." he retrieved his hand.

"but–"

"no buts." he made you get closer, and you let out a startled giggle, momentarily forgetting about the pain you were in.

you laid there in silence for a little while. theo was rubbing comforting circles into your back, pressing a kiss to your forehead every now and then. it eased you a little bit, and you weren't feeling so terrible anymore. the pain was still there, but whatever he was doing made it a little easier to bear.

"is it really bad?" he questioned after seeing you had scrunched your face up. you hummed and he sat up, reaching under your bed. "where is it– oh." he pulled out the hot pack he knew you sometimes used in similar situations, heading for the bathroom to fill it up with warm water. he returned rather quickly and reclaimed his position on the bed. he adjusted your pillows and placed the hot pack against your stomach, throwing an arm around you again. it made it a little difficult for him to pull you completely against his chest, but your own comfort mattered more to him.

"thank you." you sighed. he gave you a look, not a particularly annoyed one, but one that told you that you didn't have to thank for him doing things like that. he pecked your nose, the urge was too difficult to resist. you exhaled comfortably, taking a hold of his hand and intertwining your fingers.

he began massaging your knuckles, and you shuffled closer, as close as it was possible, burying your face into his chest. he kissed your hand this time before releasing it, and tangled his fingers in your locks instead. you loved it when he played with your hair, and he loved it just as much, mostly because you were giving him a fantastic excuse to touch you.

"what explanation did you come up with for missing classes today?" you questioned, suddenly feeling curious. your cramps slightly reduced in their intensity, so you didn't mind talking or even getting up for a bit.

"i just told it as it is." he shrugged, continuing to play with your hair. he tucked a strand behind your ear, smiling at you.

"what?" you chuckled in surprise.

"i told mcgonagall my girlfriend wasn't feeling well and that i wanna take care of her." he was so, very causal about it. you were surprised he actually knew what to do to help you. you did assume he asked pansy, but it at least meant that he cared. and it made you that much more happy to have him there with you.

"really? what did she say?" you raised an eyebrow.

"she was a little annoyed but she understood what i was getting at," of course she did, she couldn't not, "and then she told the other boys to take notes," he grinned proudly, "draco especially."

you burst out laughing, "that did not happen."

"yes, it did," he snickered against your cheek before placing a big, loud kiss against it, "you can ask anyone." he pulled back, but did not move away. you were so close that your noses were touching.

"hm, i think i'll take your word for it." he smiled again, and you pecked his lips, another way to thank him for doing all of that for you, "i love you." you whispered.

"i love you more." he gave you a cheeky grin.

"wrong." you retorted playfully, poking at his chest.

"that's up for debate." he put his hand over yours, holding it in place.

"do not argue with me." you warned, not very seriously, though.

he snorted at your teasing reply, but didn't push the discussion any further. on a different day, he probably would have. that one adored getting on your nerves more than anyone else in the world, but he wasn't so stupid to do it when you were having such bad period pains. there were other things to be done. he said he'd give you cuddles, and kisses, and hugs, and snuggles, and even more kisses and everything in between. and he did just that. that one time, and all the other times.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

how the yellowjackets would react to you being sick (headcanons)

i wrote these forever ago when i had the flu and they got lost in my drafts enjoyyyy gender neutral reader i think but taissa does reference her partner as her wife. also if the pics on this don’t format right (theyre supposed to be 3 in a row and then the header) pls tell me sometimes it fucks up :(

SHAUNA

sees you sneeze once and runs to the store for cold medicine with the fervor of middle aged preppers fist fighting for toilet paper in 2020

she would do or get absolutely anything you wanted, would go and buy takeout food from your favorite restaurants or make sure you’re comfortable wherever you’re situated

will make sure you’re taking whatever medicine you need, whether it’s just over the counter cough medicine or it’s something prescribed by a doctor. you can’t put up a fight with her about it bc you’ll never win. she gets so intense about it but it’s ultimately for your good and you know that

also just likes to hold you. she cancels whatever plans she has and you lay and watch movies together — she might not like everything you pick to watch but she’ll put up with anything to make you feel a bit better. as for the close proximity of holding you, she doesn’t care if she gets sick because she knows you’ll take care of her once you’re better in the same way she cared for you. plus i’d imagine her immune system is of fucking steel after having a baby in the wilderness???? no germs are getting on this woman ok and ykw that probs goes for all of them they probably have some fucked up forest girl immunity or smthn idk im not a doctor don’t come at me

LOTTIE

she’ll never admit it ever but at first she gets kind of excited because she’s been waiting for someone to fall ill so she can try out a new herbal remedy

but then she sees how upset you are and how much discomfort you’re in and feels guilty

anyway rich girl lottie is averse to germs and when you first get sick she handles you a bit like you’re a giant jellyfish someone’s trying to throw at her , she wants to help you but girl has a whole wellness center to run she is not getting sick

until she caves and you’re cuddled in bed together watching movies because she can’t keep away from you

she lets you watch whatever you want while you’re sick , but she does get a bit bored sometimes when you’re asleep so she flips the channel to nature documentaries. she’ll flip it back to whatever you were watching immediately after you wake up tho, and yes of course she was watching your horror movies instead of bird watching shows go back to sleep

she also cooks for you while you’re sick — probably not very well, but she won’t allow anyone else cooking for you because she wants to make sure you’re eating quality food that will help you get better and not just anything you could pick up

she gets very protective over you and over your health in general and won’t allow anyone to come bother you, if you work outside the wellness center she makes sure your bosses aren’t being bitches about you being sick and she ensures everything’s in order to her standards

TAISSA

panics because she has absolutely no idea what to do when you get sick, probably googles “what to do when your wife is sick” and follows the wikihow

she’ll take a few days off work for once to look after you, it doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is to you because she hardly ever takes time off from the campaign

she’s very stereotypical in the way she takes care of you — she’ll make you chicken noodle soup, get you blankets, everything she knows is the “standard” of taking care of someone with a cold but she works so hard to make sure everything’s perfect for you

she knows you’re miserable so she’ll try to make you laugh when you’re sick. telling you stupid jokes, funny stories from work, anything she can think of. your body is down but she won’t let your mental health go down with it especially if you already struggle with mental health

might offer you some dirt and a spot in her tree if you’re lucky

VAN

knows you’re sick before you do it’s some psychic ass shit she just KNOWS

you sneeze once and she’s like “oh I bought you some cold medicine earlier” like ??? girl ok whatever

she usually loves to make you watch her old dvds and tapes but when you’re feeling bad she puts on a marathon of your favorite movies

she buys you a lot of sweets. she’d be one of those “chocolate fixes everything” girls and whenever she would go out to buy you something she would come back with some sort of treat for you

she lets your rant about being sick if you’re one of those people who get grumpy when you get sick, she wants you to trust her and feel safe enough to express your distress

NATALIE

i think we all know natalie isn’t the best person in health and wellness situations but she does make it fun to be sick at least !

raids the vending machine for you

will probably google how to take care of you like taissa , but thinks the instructions are too long and gives up

will probably call misty and make her bring over whatever medicine you’d need because she knows she’ll fuck it up picking it out herself

she’s silent on the bed for an hour and then announces “i made you a spotify playlist” out of the blue. it has like 5 songs on it but they’re all very very very meticulously selected and she’s so proud of it, she knows it cant help you get better physically but hopes it will make you happy

warns you not to get her sick as if it’s something you can control. looks at you so sternly and goes “don’t. don’t get me sick.” it makes you roll your eyes

MISTY

she’s been waiting for this day her whole life tbh not in a creepy way but in a loving “i want to take care of you” way

will do absolutely everything to make sure you’re comfortable when you’re sick, she would kill for you (she would anyway but especially when you’re not feeling well)

knows a bunch of get better health hacks from all the reddit forums she’s stalked over the years and only half of them work but it shows that she cares

tries to search amazon to see if there’s a little covid mask she can get caligula “just in case”

she makes you watch true crime documentaries with her and narrates every episode and then gives you all her hot takes afterwards. you can’t escape and she takes advantage of it

[autolenaphilia]

I’ve been thinking about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley again, as usual. And I’ve complained before about people whose interpretation of the Graves sibs is “Ashley is an evil manipulative bitch who is corrupting her innocent doormat brother Andrew.” And this frustrates me because of its obvious misogyny, but not because that’s interpretation isn’t based in the game itself. It’s in there for sure, but it’s Andrew mask, his false narrative of him and his relationship to his sister, that the game thoroughly deconstructs.

It is built up through the promotional material, like the “our heroes?” art on the game’s steam page And for a good part of episode 1 you can even believe it. Ashley comes across as evil and manipulative, a yandere who has a pathological, abusive, possessive and obsessive love fixation on an nonreciprocating subject, Andrew. In her possessiveness, she naturally is very jealous, and wants her brother all for herself, going so far as to sabotage his romantic relationships with other women.

And Andrew at first seems nonreciprocating. She seems utterly dependent on him, but he acts like he doesn’t need her, and he clearly feels both annoyance and resentment towards her at times.

Above all he seems normal compared to his clearly mentally ill sister. Prior to quarantine he had a life outside of her, with a girlfriend and studies at college. When they start committing crimes he seems to have an appropriate freaked out reaction to their actions while Ashley seems amoral and goads Andrew into committing them with her.

Yet all this is a mere facade. It’s subtly undermined at first during episode 1, some aspects of which comes across more clearly on a repeat playthrough. Andrew’s narrative of being an innocent manipulated into evil is like all such narratives ultimately a way to dodge responsibility. Andrew lets Ashley take the lead when doing morally dubious things, but the key words is “lets.” This is established subtly in their first interaction in the game. Ashley asks Andrew if he wants to go spy on the neighbor his response is “nope”, immediately followed by a smiling “but I’ll come along if you do.” and he hands her the balcony key. This coy “no means yes” response from Andrew establishes that Ashley’s leading role is a kind of game that they play, one that lets Andrew abdicate responsibility for any dubious actions the siblings commit.

Spying on the neighbor is fairly innocent, but then their actions escalate. And Andrew’s own actions drive that escalation. It’s he who takes the siblings from cannibalism into murder. And in the climax of episode 1, he commits probably their worst crime: the murder of the woman in room 302, at least in the now existing two episodes of the game. Their other murders like the wardens, the hitman and the parents all deserved it but I don’t think she did. And it’s all on his initiative, Ashley never tells him to kill for her, he does it all on his own. And his clearly bullshit story about his victim going for a nail gun makes his tendency to avoid taking responsibility for his own actions by spinning false narratives even clearer.

(Sidenote: Both in the aforementioned “our heroes?” promo art and the main menu art it’s Ashley who holds the bloody meat cleaver, but in the actual game, it’s Andrew’s signature weapon. He wields that cleaver all the way from chopping up the cultist to the possible end for him and Ashley in the decay path vision. I don’t think Ashley even touches it in the actual game. It’s an obvious inconsistency that I think must be deliberate. The promotional art is setting up a false narrative of who is the violent one in this relationship and the actual game subverts it.)

And the ensuing conversation I think finally collapses the narrative of poor innocent Andrew and evil manipulative abuser Ashley. Ashley sure says some nasty and manipulative things, but then Andrew snaps and puts her in a stranglehold, threatening to kill her. It’s here that Andrew’s false narrative fully collapses, and the power dynamics are fully revealed. Whatever hold Ashley might seem to have over Andrew via emotional manipulation, abuse and blackmail, it is an illusion.

Andrew ultimately goes along with what she says because he wants to. He can always say “no” and can physically enforce that, even kill her. Him choking Ashley and threatening her life is not justified revenge on his emotional abuser, because that scene reveals that he is in control here, and he probably always has been (the flashback to their childhood where he briefly wonders “if killing her would be worth it” certainly suggests that). Andrew strangling Ashley and threatening her life is in itself a far more serious act of abuse than everything Ashley has ever said to him.

She is fake-crying here, but based on everything else we see her isolation is definitely real.

Ashley is ultimately a subversion of all the yandere evil manipulative bitch stereotypes she initially seems to embody. She is a surprisingly complex and well-written character where her “evil” traits are seen as originating in abuse and isolation. The reason she is so dependent on Andrew for all human affection is simple: it’s because he is literally the only one who has given her that affection. Her own parents never gave her that, and her peers disliked her because she is as she herself puts it “loud, weird and annoying.” The reason she doesn’t have any empathy or care for other people (besides Andrew) is because they never cared about her. Andrew is the one exception, and that’s also why she is so fiercely possessive and controlling of him. If he abandoned her, she would be all alone in the world. And why shouldn’t he abandon her? Everyone else already has. So she must have some hold over him, so he can never leave her. It all makes sense for her traumatized brain.

And Andrew? Far from being the non-reciprocating subject of Ashley’s affections, he is as obsessively in love with and dependent on her as she is on him. The difference is that Andrew hides it. He wants to be normal, so he pretends to be. But he isn’t normal, and is more like his sister than he cares to admit.

The deepest dive within Andrew’s psyche is his dream sequence in episode 2. It actually thoroughly deconstructs his mask of normalcy. For example, his very revealing flashback of his relationship with Julia. That relationship is a major part of his claim to normalcy, that he is not like his sister, totally emotionally dependent on the other sibling. And that relationship is shown to be a lie.

In the flashback Julia is angry with Andrew because whenever she and Andrew spend time together, Ashley tells Andrew to spend time with her instead, and Andrew obeys her. And this is obviously Ashley sabotaging the Andrew/Julia relationship, but the thing is, Andrew is very much a willing co-saboteur. When the choice is between spending time with Julia or Ashley, he always chooses Ashley.

We get more detail on why he does this in the same dream sequence. You can listen to what is ostensibly the harassing voicemails sent by Ashley to Julia. And they reveal more what is going on there. That Ashley did harass Julia that way is real, she admits to it in the waking world. But if the contents of the voicemail in the dream is what Ashley actually said is unlikely. There is no plausible way Andrew could know what Ashley said in them. Neither Julia or Ashley are likely to have shared them with Andrew. They are not real the same way the flashback probably is. So the dream sequence voicemails are probably the products of Andrew’s mind rather than Ashley’s. And as such, they are very revealing.

And to summarize the point the voicemails are making in less… colorful terms: Andrew doesn’t care about Julia on an emotional level, he just uses her for sex. The woman he actually cares about, is emotionally intimate with on every level except the purely sexual, is Ashley. She is, “the only one” and “everything” to him. It isn’t sexual for obvious incest taboo reasons, so Andrew has his “floozies” he uses as sexual outlets.

I think this description of Andrew’s relationship with Ashley and other women is overall true and very revealing of how he actually feels beneath the mask. That’s why he always chooses Ashley over Julia, there is a deeper emotional connection there that is absent with Julia.

The dream voicemails are just circumspect about one thing: Andrew does want to fuck his sister. He represses it because of the incest taboo, but he really wants to. This is obvious throughout the game and repeatedly hinted at. Andrew’s incestous attraction keeps on boiling over the lid of repression he put on it. He freaks out when their mother suggests it and at the incest vision, but that’s because he is repressing hard.

There are so many moments. My favorite is him casually touching her ass in their parent’s kitchen in episode 2. There is an optional dialogue when they are breaking in earlier which suggests he has done it before. The end of his dream sequence is him dreaming about Ashley’s cleavage. He lies about having nightmares and needing comfort so he has an excuse to cuddle with Ashley and sleep in her bed every night.

It’s clearly there in his possessive jealous rage he gets into whenever Ashley even jokes about having sex with men who are not him. Andrew threatening to slap Ashley for jokingly suggesting doing sex work is frankly far worse than whatever Ashley does to sabotage Andrew’s relationship with Julia.

Speaking of Julia, the flashback with her and Andrew ends with him asking Julia to tie up her hair for him. To wear her hair like Ashley does. This suggests Julia was just an Ashley substitute all along.

Andrew’s relationship with Julia was part of the mask. Julia is the sweet girl-next-door type, the type of woman he should be into if he was normal. Julia/Andrew is meant to be the model heterosexual couple, except it’s a lie. In the end Julia became an outlet for Andrew’s repressed incestous sexual feelings, with her acting as a substitute for his forbidden attraction to Ashley. It’s not a coincidence that Julia looks like she could be the third Graves sibling.

His final thoughts on Julia are telling in themselves. “You’ll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn’t really bother you, bothers you.” That’s Andrew Graves in a nutshell. He knows that he should have loved Julia, that he should miss her, want to fuck her instead of his sister, that he should be normal. But he isn’t normal, and that haunts him.

The fact that he is haunted, that the incest taboo matters enough to him to repress his attraction, might seem to hint that Andrew has some redeeming sense of morality. But it doesn’t really. All his morality boils down to is a fear of consequences. His freak-outs about his and Ashley’s crimes is just a fear of getting caught. That’s why he so compulsively blames Ashley, if he is not really responsible for what his actions he can’t be punished for them. It’s most telling when in his dream he reflects on his murder of the lady in room 302. He monologues for awhile about his fears of getting caught for murdering her, but ends it all with a blunt “other than that, it doesn’t bother you.” He is just as callous and amoral as Ashley, he just hides it better.

Ultimately Andrew mirrors Ashley. He is not a poor manipulated innocent soft boi, beset by his crazy sister. He is just as dependent on and all-consumingly in love with her as she is with him, if not more so. I don’t see much if any evidence for Ashley’s feelings for Andrew being sexual/incestous, but his feelings for her very obviously are. He is just able to disguise his violent incestous nature better with a mask of normalcy, but ultimately he is similar to Ashley. She is not a monster and he is not an angel, those are just the masks you are meant to deconstruct.

Of course people fail at doing so despite the game being fairly explicit about it, because of poor media analysis and the kind of misogynistic bias where we blame women for what men do.

[musicalmoritz]

Glazing TBHK again idk

There are absolutely valid critiques to be made about the writing of TBHK but I keep seeing teenagers on TikTok make the most mind-numbing takes about how the manga is problematic because it has toxic relationships. Sure there are some questionable scenes that I hate but of all the things to bitch about, you choose the relationships??? And not even a take about the way they’re written, you think a manga having toxic relationships in any capacity makes it bad???

I specified teenagers because I wanted to cut them a little bit of slack but I’ve seen grown ass adults make similar takes. Do ya’ll not watch adult shows with adult themes??? Where the relationships are much worse than what you find in a ghost romance manga aimed at tweens???

I wouldn’t even say the toxicity is glorified, they just don’t tell you how you’re supposed to feel about it 24/7. Like when Hanako says he wants Nene to live the life he gave her, or when Kou wants Mitsuba to be completely reliant on him, you’re supposed to understand that these are severely traumatized characters who’s baggage is going to weigh down their relationships. They don’t give a disclaimer every chapter that you’re not supposed to agree with them because they expect their audience to be sensible enough to come to their own conclusions on how they should feel about those scenes.

I hate to break it to ya’ll but mentally ill people have relationships irl, whether they’re ready for them or not. These relationships may go poorly or they may turn out to be very beneficial depending on how they’re handled. All types of people, whether they deal with trauma/mental illness or not, have flaws that sometimes follow them throughout life. Not all of these flaws will go away, because no human being is 100% perfect. Sometimes we hurt the people we care about even if we’re generally good people. Fiction that falls under the category of magical realism (aka TBHK) is meant to reflect reality, so we’re often going to see characters deal with flaws that they may or may not overcome.

Not to mention, half of these characters are dead, they’re not going to be capable of having normal healthy relationships. They behave realistically for their circumstances, it doesn’t have to have a moral tied up with a pretty pink bow. Most of the ships are doomed to fail anyways so them being toxic is a relevant part of the natural decline of their development. The toxicity doesn’t automatically make the series bad, in fact I’d argue that element is well-written and necessary for the progression of the story. If HanaNene weren’t a little bit toxic, we wouldn’t have gotten the Picture Perfect arc or the Severance arc

It’s perfectly fine to dislike toxic ships in fiction, but don’t ridicule authors for wanting to depict more complex themes in their work. AidaIro have certainly included some weird fan service scenes/official art in their series, but those criticisms should remain separate from creative choices you personally dislike.

[ellieluvr420]

Eye for an Eye Pt.4

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

I want to quickly stress that this is a darker fic and there will be a lot of darker, possibly triggering themes to do with mental health throughout so take that as a warning. I likely won't do warnings for each part because part of this fic for me is that you don't know what's going to happen until you read it so please do not read if you find graphic descriptions of mental illness and topics surrounding that triggering. But if you do read, thank you so much, this story is really important to me and I appreciate any interaction whatsoever!

Had this in my drafts and wasn’t gonna post until i finished chap 21 of friends?never but @moonspowder is holding their breath so had to get a move along 🤗

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

You waited for Abby to fall asleep, it didn’t take long, she was clearly exhausted from the day of crying and grieving her beloved friends. You watched her sleep for a little while, imagining what it would look like when she wouldn’t wake again but you dragged yourself away to pack your backpack ready to go back to Ellie. You grimaced at the thought of seeing Ellie again, after your dramatic exit earlier you were sure you wouldn’t get a warm greeting but you didn’t care either way. You were going to make sure Nora died, not to see her. 

The walk there was tranquil, you heard a few screeches here and there but that was normal, it didn’t bother you, you had managed to sneak into the weapon armoury as its never got someone working it overnight and you were quite adept at picking locks so the added weight of your weapons and ammunition in your backpack acted as an anchor, comforting you and keeping you on this plane of existence instead of floating away into your mind like you had been all day. You had a rifle over your shoulder and Ellie’s switchblade in your hand, every time you looked down at it you smiled at the memory of pointing her own knife at her as you left earlier, it felt like you were mocking her and you liked it. 

You practically skipped up the steps of the fire escape, bounding in through the window gracefully and sauntering through to the stage where she was already sitting on one of the chairs in the front row waiting for you. You smirked at her as you made your way towards her where she scowled at you. 

“You’re a fucking bitch you know that?” She spat. 

“Well that’s not very nice.” 

“I specifically asked you not to tell Jesse and you tell him at the first opportunity. What the fuck was that for?” 

“Payback.” She rolls her eyes and stands, holding out her hand, you look at her puzzled until you remember the switchblade still firmly planted in your palm. You fold it back together and place it in your back pocket as you smile.  

“You’re being weird, what’s wrong with you?” 

“You don’t know what’s weird and what isn’t with me Ellie, you don’t know me so stop acting like you do ‘kay?” That didn’t help, stop being so defensive. She was right, this wasn’t you but if you had been you, you would’ve let her kill you before you agreed to hurt Abby, but you’re not you, and that’s the point. “I didn’t come here to chat so are you ready?” 

“Yep.” You turn on your heel and start walking back towards the window. 

“Jesse not joining us?” 

“No, he needs to rest his ankle and he’s not the biggest fan of you so it was best he stayed.” 

“Can’t imagine why he doesn’t like me.” You flash a coy grin over your shoulder and Ellie chuckles before she can even think to hold it in which makes her scowl in your direction even more. As you bend over to crawl through the window you feel Ellie’s fingers brush against your ass before a hand comes up and grabs your hip, holding you in place. You squirm and curse at her as her free hand dives into your pocket and retrieves her switchblade. You glare at her over your shoulder, and she sticks her tongue out at you. Childish. Even the subtle blush of her cheeks angered you as you made your way down the fire escape, her following closely behind. 

As you trailed along the dark paths of Seattle towards the park you planned to cut through, you wondered what could have happened if you had met Ellie before, under better circumstances. You know if you had met her before you had been ruined, darkened by the torment of love and hatred, you would have liked her, found her charming. Anything that you would’ve liked about her only drove you further from her, the thought of getting close to someone again, feeling for someone again, it made your blood run cold. You’d do whatever you had to do to keep your distance until everything was over. 

You reach a dead end that has you huffing as you notice the double doors slightly ajar to your right. “Fuck’s sake.” You mutter to yourself as Ellie comes to stand next to you. 

“What?” 

“Was hoping we wouldn’t have to cut through any buildings, but I guess I was wrong.” 

“No hold on a minute, if you can get me to the top of the wall I can pull you up.” You quirk an eyebrow at her, challenging her declaration, it wasn’t that you didn’t think she was strong, it was just a very high wall, it seemed like a long shot. 

“Well worth a try because these buildings are crawling with infected typically.” She nods and you walk to the wall, pressing your back against it and cupping your hands together.  

“You ready?” She checks as she puts her foot into your hands. 

“As I’ll ever be.” You nod and in sync she jumps up as you boost her and somehow she actually manages to grasp onto the top edge and pull herself up. It was impressive to watch, you hadn’t met anyone as adept as Abby until you met her. She lowers herself down and reaches an arm out to you. 

“Just jump and grab my hand and then don’t fucking let go okay?” 

“Yeah I got it.” You take a breath and leap as high as you can, the second you feel your hand in hers, you breathe a sigh of relief, she starts slowly pulling you up and the second you can you grab onto the ledge to help her for the last bit. Once you’re both over the wall she stands with her hands on her hips and a smug look on her face. “I swear if you say I told you so.” 

“I wasn’t gonna say a thing, you said it for me.” She smiles and you continue walking without looking to see if she followed but you know she has from the faint patter of her footsteps. 

The entrance to the park comes into view at the same time that you hear a high-pitched whistling. “The fuck is that?” Ellie whispers. 

“Scars. We’ll take it slow and just try and sneak around them okay, keep your head down and stay quiet.” 

“Yes ma’am.” You glare at her before creeping forward, this time checking she’s following. The whistles grew louder as you moved deeper into the forest until you heard a blood-curling scream, followed by begs and pleads from another WLF soldier. “What the fuck.” Ellie whispers next to you as you both see the soldiers strung up from trees, one with his organs dangling from his body and the other flailing about desperately as he screams and tries to bargain for his life. “Do you know them?” 

“Yeah I know the one they haven’t cut open yet. Daniel.” 

“Oh, sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I’m not.” She scoffs in disbelief at your bluntness as you keep moving until you hear the swish of an arrow cutting through air and the fleshy squelch of it landing in a body. You turn to see Ellie lying on the floor grunting as she yanks at the arrow. You immediately spot the scar heading straight for you and you lunge at her, digging your knife into her neck and yanking it out, her blood splattering over you, painting you skin red. Just more blood on your hands. It will all be over soon. You return to Ellie and kneel beside her. “Hey, hey, let me do it.” She nods and as you snap the arrow so you can pull it out easier, she gasps and squeezes your arm as she clamps her eyes shut. Her hand burns your skin, you needed to get this done quickly. 

“You better be right-handed.” You say trying to lighten the mood as you yank the arrow from her left shoulder, she whimpers slightly but as soon as it’s out, she breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Yeah I’m right-handed.” She watches as you pull your backpack off and retrieve a bandage from the front pocket. “You came prepared.” 

“I was actually planning to leave this time so yeah I did. Take your shirt off.” 

“Wh- why?” 

“So I can wrap this bandage around it. I’m not tryna cop a feel, relax. Just take your arm out of the shirt.” 

“Right.” She winces as she pulls her left arm from the shirt and you press the end of the bandage to the seeping wound before grabbing her hand and pressing it onto the hole firmly. You wrap the bandage round her shoulder and under her armpit as tight as you can before ripping it and tying it off then helping her back into her shirt. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah but we need to keep moving.” You help her up and begin sprinting towards the exit of the park until you’re no longer surrounded by foliage, instead comforted by the urban forest that you found a lot easier to navigate.  

“See through those two buildings there, that’s the hospital. We’re not that far away now.” You were half telling yourself that and half telling her. It’s not like it would get easier the closer you got to the hospital, but the closer you got, the closer Nora was to meeting her demise. That’s why you were here. To make sure she died, that’s it. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧   

 

The sound of ‘it was a good day’ by Ice Cube rang through the halls, one of yours and Abby’s favourite’s. You thought it was ironic, that particular song playing while Nora gets slaughtered, poetic almost. “There’s a door on the other side of the room, I’m gonna go round and make sure she can’t run through there. Just wait a couple minutes before you go in, yeah?” 

“You’re not coming in with me?” And let Nora blow yours and Abby’s relationship wide open? No, you were not going in there.  

“No, I’m gonna make sure no one comes and finds us. Why? You want a little company?” 

“You made your point.”  

“Make it hurt.” You mutter before walking off round the corner to go find the door. The song ringing through your ears causing a slideshow of memories with Abby to flash through your mind, you shake them away as the door comes into view, you press your ear to the door and as you hear Ellie’s voice inside you get to work barricading the door, you slam yourself into the large metal cabinet to scrape it across the floor until it’s firmly in front of the door. You moved slowly to make as little noise as possible, the music covering your plight well. You go back to pressing your ear against the door just as you hear Ellie’s disgruntled voice. 

“You fucking cunt- Agh!” A crash and then the handle shaking violently as Nora tries to make her escape, you can’t stop yourself from popping up in the glass pane of the door and smiling with a little wave and tilt of your head. She whispers your name as her face screws up before you disappear from the glass again leaving her and Ellie alone. You shouldn’t be enjoying this, you barely felt human anymore, it’s her fault, it’s their fault, it’s your own fault too but you’d fix that soon enough. You appear at the other door and glance through the window. Nora’s on the floor, unmoving as Ellie stands over her with a large metal pipe in her hand, the end dripping with crimson. You notice the tremor of the pipe, the rigid stance of Ellie as she stands over Nora, and then she thrashes the pipe down onto her, again and again. Was this what Ellie had witnessed when she found you at Hillcrest? You needed to get moving so you enter the room quietly and as she lifts the pipe again you grab it and yank it out of her hand. She spins to face you and you feel like she might kill you there and then for stopping her. “You got her. We gotta go.” She nods and lets you lead her out of the room, and out of the hospital into the cool night air. She doesn’t speak, she doesn’t move without a nudge from you, she doesn’t notice when a runner creeps up on her from behind until you’re ripping it off of her, throwing it to the ground and stomping its head into the cement underneath you. If you don’t sort her out soon, she’d get you both killed so you drag her into a nearby house, sitting her down on the sofa before checking it’s clear and securing the doors and windows then returning to her. “Ellie, I need you to focus. We need to get back to the theatre, so I need you to focus.” 

“I- I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Why?” 

“I should’ve just killed her. I’m as bad as them. I made it hurt.” She looked up at you and suddenly that familiar feeling you thought you were free from comes rushing back like it had never left. Guilt was crushing, it was worse than any physical pain you could ever describe. Your whole body ached and twinged as every nerve felt like it was on fire. You crouched down to make her look at you, attempting to distract yourself from your own inner turmoil with hers.  

“Ellie, look at me.” Her eyes flick up to yours as you cup her cheeks with your hands. “She fucking deserved it, they all deserve it. You’re gonna do this and you’re gonna go back home and forget about this place and everything in it. You’re gonna go be happy with your girlfriend and your friends and you’re gonna move on but you have to make it out of here alive first, so I need you to focus.” She doesn’t say anything, she just mirrors your own hands as she cups your cheeks, your skin burns.  

“I don’t know how to be happy anymore, I don’t think I can go back to the life I had before all of this.” She leans in and your eyes widen as you put a hand on her chest. 

“Ellie, don’t do this to yourself. Dina is what you need.” 

“I don’t know how to be what she needs.” She leans in again and you can’t shake the feeling you’re taking advantage of her, she’s vulnerable, she’s grieving, you can’t do this.  

“Ellie, you don’t want this. You’re confused, this would be a mistake that you’ll regret every day. Think about Dina.” 

“She doesn’t look at me the same anymore, Jesse doesn’t other, they don’t get it. You do. Please, I know what I need, I need this. I need to feel real, like I’m not just a heartless killer, I know you understand that.” Fuck, she’s right. You know it’s wrong, everything’s wrong, she’s not Abby but in your eyes, Abby isn’t Abby anymore. She changed and she changed you with her. Why did cheating feel so wrong when you were fantasising and planning on killing her? Why did you feel bad for a girl you hadn’t even seen? Everything you were doing was driving you further into that bottomless black pit that you’d never escape from. It was pointless trying to fight the darkness slowly squeezing the life out of you, so why are you still trying? It would all go away soon so why fight it? You started all of this because the hurt they had enacted on you caused a large gaping abscess to form where your heart used to be but now, now you had lost control, blinded by your rage, by your bloodlust. She was right, you needed to feel real, just once more before it all ends, before everything catches up to you, it would sooner or later, catch up to you. You just needed to feel real. 

You sighed and looked into her eyes before nodding gently and leaning towards her, closing the already small gap between you both. Your lips pressed together, cautiously at first, her hands moving down to your hips and squeezing tentatively. This wasn’t right, you half expected to see a monster looking back at you next time you looked in a mirror, how could a broken heart do this much damage? Were you overreacting? Were you like this all along and Abby just gave you an excuse to show your true colours? You just needed comfort, affection, from someone who hadn’t set your heart on fire and stomped it into the ground. You just needed some comfort. 

Ellie sucked your tongue into her mouth as you straddled her hips, desperation seeping through your pores as you latched onto her hair and yanked her head back to give you access to her neck, you pecked at the skin just below her ear and as you went to suck you had to stop yourself, you couldn’t leave any traces of your evil on her pale skin. Her hands squeezed at your thighs as she nudged your cheek with her nose to get you to face her once again. The air was dense, it was clogging your throat, any time you pulled away you felt like the air was sucked out of you and your body was being crushed. You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t understand how it made you feel so much more immoral than anything you had done over the past few days, yet it still made you feel alive for the first time in months. 

Ellie could barely think, barely function, all she could focus on was your lips on hers as her hands roamed your body. Any time Dina would pop into her mind she’d just press herself further into you, it blocked everything else out. How could she go back to her normal life, after everything, after you? She knew you didn’t feel the same way, she could tell, this was just a necessity to you, a distraction, but to her, it was everything, it was like you were letting her be the version of her that rose from the ashes of Joel’s death, not trapping her in a cage of who she used to be.  

“I’m sorry Ellie, I’m so, so sorry.” Your voice was cracking and trembling as you spoke but when you opened your eyes to see hers still closed, no reaction to what you had said, the panic set in. Not again. “I’m sorry Ellie, please hear me, I’m sorry, I’ve ruined you too. I’m sorry.” You were practically screaming as tears rolled down your cheeks. This time her eyes snapped open again but they were only filled with lust, something else that you couldn’t decipher but you didn’t want to. 

“I needed this too, thank you.” She breathed out and your stomach churned, your hand immediately going to your cheek to feel that it was completely dry, you heaved at the feeling and jumped off of her, you’ve lost it, you’re barely connected to your body anymore, some outside force controlling it.  

Her eyes went glassy as her jaw dropped open slightly at your sudden change in demeanour. “Did I do something wrong?” Her voice was small, shameful as she averted her eyes from your manic ones. 

“No I- I heard something, we need to move, we’re too close to the hospital.” 

“Oh... okay.” She looked like a beaten puppy as she stood and grabbed her backpack, wincing at the pain in her shoulder. You tore your eyes away from her to look out the window and make sure it was safe to leave before turning back to her and taking in her features, her hair messy and tangled, her cheeks blushed, and her lips parted as her chest rose and fell heavily. You stared as she stared back until you took a breath and went to reach for the doorhandle, but it wasn’t there. Instead, your fingers found the bottom of the window that you had left ajar upon your exit of the theatre. You snapped your head towards it and screeched as you yanked it upwards and threw yourself through the opening. You turned back and you felt your body go cold as Abby was standing behind you, climbing through the window with eyes so dark you thought they were black. The blue was no longer there, replaced by inky darkness that matched the background, the theatre seeping away from your vision and leaving only you and her. You screamed and cried as she inched closer to you, you tried to scramble away but she snatched your ankle back towards her and climbed on top of you, squeezing your chin as her eyes stared into your soul and sucked it out of you. Your whole body tingled before going numb as a single tear rolled down your cheek at the sick grin that twisted her lips upwards mocked you. 

“Hey, come on, wake up, fuck please wake up, what the fuck?” Ellie’s voice boomed through your head, light blinded you as you used every ounce of strength in you to open your eyes only to come face to face with Ellie peering over you. “What the fuck was that? You just passed out as you went through the window.” 

“S-sorry, I- I dunno what happened.” 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” 

“I mean I don’t fucking know.” You could never tell her what you had seen, what was happening to you, you couldn’t even begin to verbalise it. You sat up and surveyed your surroundings, you were at the theatre, you had blacked out for at least an hour, best case. You needed to fix this, you needed to get home before Abby wakes up.  

“Are you okay? Let me help you up.” She goes to lift you up but you smack her hands away, you didn’t know why you were agitated but you were, you needed her not to touch you or look at you or breathe near you because your skin was itching and you felt like you were a bomb seconds away from exploding. 

“I got it, I’m fine, okay? I’m probably just over-tired.” You walk away from her and disappear through the curtains as she follows you down to the chairs where you dropped your backpack and began pacing. She sat beside the backpack and pulled her arm out of her grey t-shirt once again to look at the bandages that were now stained red and leaking onto the hand she pressed on the wound. 

“I don’t suppose you’ve got anymore bandages you wouldn’t mind sharing.” 

“Yeah, front pocket of my backpack.” You would’ve got them for her but you couldn’t stand still right now, you needed to keep moving as you begged for the memory of the journey from the hospital to the theatre to return to you but there was not even a second of it you could remember. 

Ellie watched you for a second before going to the front pocket of your backpack and routing around it. Her hands brushed over something thin and smooth, a piece of paper but not like the paper in her journal, like film almost. She knew she shouldn’t snoop but you didn’t seem like the type to share and she just wanted to know more about you so she flipped the polaroid over to look at the picture and the sight made bile rise to her throat as she clutched it and brought it closer to her face. You were completely unaware of her actions as your back was turned to her mostly but her eyes still flicked between you and the polaroid. “What the fuck is this?” She spat as she stood and stormed over to you. 

“Hm?” You turned and immediately a polaroid fluttered at you, landing on the floor at your feet. Your hand shook as you picked it up and realised what she was talking about. The polaroid was of you and Abby, her kissing your cheek and you beaming at the camera, with ‘my love’ written in sharpie on the thick white border. “I- Ellie...” You whispered as you refused to look up at her. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” Her hands thrust you backwards sending you stumbling as she reaches behind her jeans and yanks her pistol out, aiming it right at your heart. You don’t move, you don’t look away, you just stare back at her eyes that were fiery with rage as her lips sneered at you. 

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv@a-little-bit-of-everybody@chrry1ovr

[blingblong55]

✨Hello✨ I would like some Headcannons of 141 + könig with a gen z reader who's on the older side (like, 20-25) at first they were besties with soap, but then they became good friends with everyone. They are one of the very few people who can bother the shit out of ghost and live to tell the tale. All of 141 and könig have had their nails painted/makeup done by reader, and once a week AT LEAST, reader and the 141 + könig have a ✨ s p a d a y ✨ face mask, manicures, pedicures, you name it and the reader, 141 + könig have probably done it. Reader is also ver affectionate. Their name can be whatever you want it to be. Have a good day/night, eat, drink water, and don't overwork yourself or I'll find you and hit you with a steel frying pan. Love ya 😁

I love the way you show your love for me!!

Material Girl- 141+König

Not a proper hc...I think (idk my brain isn't braining rn)

Gn!reader! Smut at the end so warning!!

It's been forever since you arrived at base. 141, mainly Ghost nicknamed you rooks, short for rookie, also short like you. "Sergeant rooks, get over here." "rooks you sure 'bout this?" "Hey rooks, wanna hang out" god did it exhaust you, but it was all banter. Nothing more.

Soap soon after you had arrived at base became your best friend, only friend in the eye of others. He knew almost everything of the tiny rookie that had become his friend. Price didn't get it at first. How someone so smart as you had befriended his Scott soldier. But soon after seeing you and him explode different things around base he understood, "not about the level of knowledge but by how dumb they both are." It took 5 months for them all to be open to you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"ghost...ghost...heeeeyyyyy ghooossstttt" you whispered yelled (does that make sense? hope it does)

"yes rooks?" His voice hinting at his frustration.

You jumped from behind and made him jump. "Just wanting to see if you were still alive" "3 laps around base, go"

----

And after much fight, he got used to you. Always making extra coffee for the days he knew you'd be around the most. He felt like a teacher with you and soap around. "If you do that, don't ya think it'll explode" then he saw your wheels turn. "that'll be awesome!"

----

"fuck off Janet. im not goin to your fucking baby shower?"

"Who the fucks is that sergeant?"

Man did you annoy him with quotes from tiktok, but he loved how every time you would laugh at literal dark jokes, others would consider a sigh of a mental illness. "Die bitch...dieeee!!" You said as he killed a spider. He soon chased you with it. And as always you cried a little.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When the team found you stressed after a mission, they asked soap what a day off in your life looked like. "They better thank us for this." Price sighed as he, ghost and König prepared the common room to seem like a comfy living space.

"Ghost, you're next..what color would you like?" you looked up at him, annoyance leaked from his eyes. "Black..all black" You look around your kit, "I have glittery black? will that work?" your curious eyes starring at his, "fine" he responded. Gaz took pictures and sent them to the group chat, the same one he left because of your stupid daily memes.

"This is worse than torture."

"Do you or do you not feel bonita?" you smiled as you carefully painted his nails. He hesitated, "I feel bonita" . "Wonderful because you look Bonita!" you squealed, your hands cheerfully in the air.

Then it was König's turn, "nails or makeup mister?" you kindly asked. "pick makeup, their skin care routine after the removal makes your skin so smooth." gaz said as he caressed his own face. "Makeup, but just do my eyes please, ja?" You understood why his request was so odd, but you complied. Once you did his eyes: "gosh you look prettier than me, König!" he blushed at your comment. "Lift your mask, and I'll do your lips, want to see how pretty this shade will look on my pretty boy." you made way as he lifted his mask, "Pretty, pretty lips" his smile giving him away.

"Price?" "m'fine with the nails, thanks"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It was a Wednesday night, that you and the team designated for spa days. You bought them those soft hair bands with different shapes and colors. Ghost and König agreed on wearing surgical masks just for this activity. All of the tough soldiers reclined on sofas as you went around and applied face masks and cucumber for aesthetics. ----

Soap enjoyed how your hands would massage his hair. It was something you had mentioned, when he applied black war paint on his hair and you gasped. "If you want hair masks just ask Johnny! don't gotta kill me with this!" you exclaimed on the field.

----

They all had robes on, you even ordered those foot massager machines for them. And when you were done with their masks, you would lay on the floor with pillows around. You read, and sprayed the room with different aromas. Sometimes when you felt hippie enough you would walk around with incense.

----

It was the only time you went around taking pictures, they soon found out because you accidentally airdropped one to Gaz, who made it his profile on the group chat.

----

"it smells horrible" ghost would say, "shh im cleansing you honey" your calm voice making him more scared, what if you accidentally lit him on fire, something that soap had done to gaz when he too felt like a hippie.

"thank you hase (bunny)" König would always keep you close when this whole thing was happening, his excuse was that your body heat was comfortable to him, in reality, he just needed an excuse to have you near.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

It was a routine that you had created with them. For Ghost and König, you always spent the nights with either of them, you would stay up and wait until they needed you. Hugs from these two were the best. Soldiers stared and they would give them 'the' look. (you comment on this..I kill what you love)

"König it's time for hugs!" you jumped and he catched you, your head on his chest, "You are kind mein König," you used that only when he needed to be brought back after a tough mission.

----

Soap and you had physical touch as love language, so showing him your affection was easy. You'd give his hands a squeeze or rubbed his shoulders and this man would just stand there, taking all the affection you could give. Sometimes it was him who would hug you so tight, you thought you might pass out.

"too much love" you would remind him. "m'sorry, felt like giving it all today" he would chuckle.

----

Price was different, this man needed affection when having smoke competitions.

"learned this one on tiktok," you inhaled and perfect circle flew around. "S'good, getting better." He would stare in amusement as the circle of smoke disappeared. But at times he did need a hug. So when the day needed a little snuggle, he would approach you. "Feeling a little cold today, you?" and you would just hug him tight. "Do you feel my love?" you smiled as your face was deep in his man boobs (man am I a whore for man boobs..so squishy and shit)

----

Gaz needed affection in fun ways. So every morning you would send him memes, or tease him about something. "S'not funny." "My uncle broke his neck tap-dancing once." and back to giggles it was. At times since you and him were somewhat the same age, you'd send tiktoks to one another.

"Gaz can you serve" He would pose and you'd laugh, "no like serve your country" and he'd salute. "Fucks sake was that." ghost would whisper to Price. "Maybe if we don't move, they won't notice us."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

(please tell me this is what you meant when you said "done it" cuz if not,,,them im putting myself on blast here)

NSWF(kinda) MINORS DNI!!!

MANHANDLED im telling you!!!

These man were starving for some sex. So when the opportunity rose, you as a decent person, homie hopped. (I would too, so no shame here)

It first started with Ghost, then König. Then the two men with you(yes..threesome bc we only live once). Soap would probably find the three of you fucking. It would be on accident though. He was walking around base when he heard you scream, and when he opened the door you were in between the two big men.

After a week of witnessing the naked horrors of his superior and friends he would talk to you. "I was tempted." you confessed. "Mind doing me next?" he bluntly said. "I mean, would you be up for it?" "Now? or later?" he looked at you, soon later it was you and him and the same room he had caught you in.

Then like a good father and son, price and gaz shared you. And I mean SHARED. You didn't hesitate, mainly because you had a thing for gaz since the beginning, but price was more of a fantasy that turned real.

It took a little bit of convincing, and a lot of drinking and smoking (green plant activities ) to be in the presence on them all.

Gang bang? anyone? Anyways, it was a sworn secret that was called a one time thing. But after the 3rd time of the one time thing it was just a team building exercise for sure. (monthly so you would be able to walk properly)However after every mission Ghost and König would fuck the anger off of their system. Price understood why you wouldn't be able to make it to some training days, those were also the days he had fun with "excuse or not you better pay your debt"

tags: @g4y-gr3ml1n

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!

A/N: please tell me you understood why the title is that?

[firecrackerhh]

Jesus CHRIST you’re so fucking retarded YOU DO FUCKING REALIZE THE WORD GROOMING HAS AN ACTUAL FUCKING DEFINITION RIGHT?????

You bitch that republicans call the LGBT+ community groomers when you CLEARLY have no problem with misusing the word the same way THEY DO by using the word where it isn’t fucking applicable to try and paint someone in the LGBTQ+ community as a dangerous person all because they can tell basic fact from reality while your clearly unmedicated schizo ass can’t? Stop making your obvious mental illness other people’s problem, Jesus fucking Christ.

You aren’t any better than the people you despise.

“Waaaaah you don’t have to be so meeeeaaaaannn to them they can’t heeeeelllppp iiiiitttt!!” I’m sure some of you particularly whiny bitches are thinking of typing into your keyboards. So what? They aren’t special. Spread dangerous bullshit around and I don’t care WHAT the fuck is wrong with you. They shouldn’t be exempt from consequences, however minor, just cus their brain is fucked.

Like Jesus fucking Christ forgive me but when you start accusing LGBTQ+ people of GROOMING over something this objectively fucking retarded I think your internet privileges should be fucking revoked. It’s so fucking obvious some people don’t understand the responsibility having a platform gives them, however small.

Like Jesus Christ. I know I say a lot of shit, but god, even I understand that accusations of grooming are actually a big fucking deal and if I ever for a MOMENT thought someone was actually doing that I would have actual sources to back up my claims!

Not this retarded fucking horseshit where some retard claims that Vivziepop is actively fucking grooming people because she’s not a fucking retard and actually understands the difference between fiction and reality!

But then again, considering this stupid cunt probably believes every proshipper is a pedophile, I guess I can’t be surprised.

If this shit is the only “evidence” you have of Viv “grooming” people…you don’t have a fucking clue what grooming actually fucking looks like.

Frankly, given the little info they’ve shared about their personal life that I’ve seen them talk about on their current (and past) blog, they should know better.

I will leave it at that. I’m a bitch, not a complete asshole. Some shit isn’t my place to speak on.

Not even to mention what I’ve seen them say to other victims of abuse, but you can go through my archive for THAT can of worms. Might take a while to find tho, I bitch a lot lmao.

Jesus Christ man, Jesus fucking Christ.

I’m no SW aficionado but I have a feeling this point is retarded anyway.

Honestly I imagine DV is only more kid friendly or whatever in like…kid friendly media specifically so…I dunno dude, I dunno what point you’re trying to make here but something isn’t connecting. It’s fine to have merch of a shitty character if said merch is from a kid friendly spin off I guess? Or something? So would you object if LEGO made toys based on the first trilogy for kids? Since yknow, he’s a killer in those movies?

And frankly, this is gonna be a shock to you, but some people LIKE Vader cuz he’s a terrible fucking person. Same thing can be said for the joker or any other fucking villain. Contrary to what you fucking believe, that doesn’t mean fans of them are terrible people who actually want to do any of the shit he does, or endorses it. Why the fuck are you so stupid?

Clearly it’s only children’s cartoons this bitch can handle on an emotional level. It’s actually so fucking embarrassing they’re STILL acting like this, not even grass can help this bitch. Tragic.

[roaenexists]

Pick-A-Pairing Tarot and Oracle readings for the collective.

From left to right we have Pairing One: Leather. Pairing Two: Starburst. Pairing Three: Cerebral.

Pairing One: Leather.

You have been getting a little too big for your britches, as my grandma would say. You have been communicating and behaving in a way that has showed those around you a haughtier side of yourself than I know you'd prefer. In other words, you've been coming off as a bit of a bitch and we both know you're capable of better than that. You need to do some inner child work and tap back in to a learner's mindset. You don't have to fundamentally change who you are, just walk it back a bit. Did you ever love learning? Did you ever used to value the input of those around you? Tap back into that energy and you'll be surprised at how naturally it comes. Past You is here to support Present You. Stop trying to rush to your future self because right now you're missing the mark. Open yourself up to the lessons your friends and mentors and colleagues have for you, and embrace the youthful spirit you've been neglecting. Come home to yourself.

Pairing Two: Starburst

Recently you've ended something and then immediately begun something new that, quite frankly, you are ill-equipped to handle. I'm inclined to think it's a relationship, though for some of you it's a new job, or a personal project. But y'all all got one thing in common: You are going about this all wrong. You had your head in the clouds about what was going to be required of you, and how quickly you were capable of providing it, but the reality of the situation is that you have all the wrong tools, most of the wrong perspective, and none of the energy. You aren't seeing the situation clearly, most likely because you haven't been doing the necessary work on yourself to make sure you were ready for this new journey. If it's too late now to walk it back, don't panic. Set aside some time to really refill your emotional, spiritual, and physical cups. Make your own health and well-being the priority, at least for long enough to recenter and reassess. You cannot expect a battery to work when empty, and you cannot care for others without first tending to your own needs.

Pairing Three: Cerebral

Shit sucks right now. You're in a situation where you are powerless and/or unhappy, with the caveat being that there's no fucking reason you shouldn't be seeing and, more importantly, feeling progress already. You feel you've learned all you can from where you are, you've made all the moves, and all that's left is to move on. The good news is that it's only a matter of time. If you can bear down and get through time then you will be able to pursue your own idealistic future, which includes physically moving location in some way, and probably also mental health support services. Will you actually make it there is up to you, but overall this draw is giving big Trevor Project, "It gets better," vibes. It's corny but it is literally in the cards. You are moving forward. Time and space are not separate, so the longer you press on, the farther you are from where you want to leave. Things are changing. This is inevitable. If you can ride the tumultuous waters, they will eventually calm down, and you will be able to take control of your vessel in the way you know you need to. You know you are meant for different; you just need to believe it until your experienced reality is reflecting that truth back to you. Take this energetic hug from me and Spirit and know that your future is full of potential. If you need to vent you can DM me. Just keep going.

[wsknbfanaccnt]

Can you do the mental health one for Hanamiya? 👉👈

OKAY NORMALLY I WOULD REFUSE BECAUSE I ONLY DO REQUESTS FOR THE GOM+KAGAMI

but honestly this was so interesting to think about I can't resist so here we go

Hanamiya Mental Disorder

TW!!: mentions of sadism, self harm, mental illness, substance abuse

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) + Sociopathy

though Hanamiya is a little bitch, I can't imagine that he doesn't struggle with his disorder sometimes

I don't mean that he is a straight up sociopath either, it's more like ASPD with traces of sociopathy

so I say this because the one big trait of his is doing everything for his enjoyment regardless of how it might affect others

it's not clear if he does this outside of basketball, but I know for a fact that he's not a complete asshole

like for example he wouldn't kick a baby just for the fun of it

but he does have sadistic tendencies

not necessarily sexual either (tho he probably is like that in bed anyways) but just something about seeing pure despair in someone just lights a fire in him

I say Sociopathy because despite everything, he's incredibly intelligent and charming

that's the thing, he can be charming if he wants to and he's fucking amazing at it

when something doesn't go his way, he's the type to blame others for it, manipulating the truth and gaslighting everyone

and unfortunately he's also good at it, and people will believe him

he definitely will also get violent if he isn't satisfied with something, he'd probably pick a fight/hurt others or throw shit around and destroy his surroundings

but sometimes that isn't enough

I think he definitely self harms because of that, he needs to be satisfied one way or another and if he can't get that by being violent to others, he'll do it to himself

but he does so out of anger, and he rarely does it

discovered marijuana after high school and became addicted

it's not clear in the anime, but I think Hanamiya and Imayoshi would get along the most (despite Hanamiya hating Imayoshi lmfao)

they just relate to each other in ways that others dont

so in turn it's a weird friendship

even if Imayoshi is a bitch, Hanamiya had always found some comfort in Imayoshi's presence

tho he's never vulnerable with anyone, there's just a silent mutual understanding between the two

it's not a deep understanding, but they just get it ykwim?

he struggles with in the way that he has kind of a weird perception of himself, knowing that he is a genius but also trying to prove it to himself and others

the amount of manipulation he does would lead to some amounts of paranoia, needing to be in control of the situation 24/7

I honestly am not too sure if he would necessarily "struggle" with making connections since that would kinda require him wanting to make connections

but he does struggle in the sense that he can't empathize with people and he's blunt, always taking the easy way out since he doesn't care about others

since he deems himself superior to others, he has a fragile sense of self and crumbles if he feels out of control

occasionally experiences derealization

[iamgodsoopsie]

Astarion Headcanons (that you probably won't like) Pt. 1:

Part 2 link

BG3 does an excellent job at depicting SA trauma and the beginning of the healing process/journey. Many of the headcanons I've seen floating around (intentionally or unintentionally) gloss over the uglier side of healing from (prolonged) trauma. I'm not judging anyone for magically healing him, he's fictional after all, but I'd like to make some more ...realistic... headcanons.

Disclaimer: Everyone's healing process looks different, but they tend share commonalities. These headcanons are based on my own experiences. Not everyone who is healing from their trauma will experience what I have or have experienced it like I have.

[Please don't message me with explicit details about your trauma. I am at the point in my healing journey where I can share my experiences, and commiserate with other's similar experiences, but I am unable to support others in a more personal manner at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your healing process/ journey.]

Spoiler warning

Mental illness, SA, & DV Trigger Warnings

These headcanons are based on an Astarion who is still a spawn and romantically involved with a Tav who honestly loves him and isn't abusive or manipulative. Also Cazador is dead and Astarion got to stab him. They also assume that he himself does not turn into Cazador 2.0 or Wish.com Cazador.

He needs a LOT of love and patience. Which, frankly, many people don't have.

He's messy af. If "Damn bitch, you live like this?" was a person it'd be him. C-PTSD is a hell of a drug. I think he wants to be more organized and clean than he is, it's just going to be a looong process for his inside appearance to match his outside appearance. (His appearance may stay mostly the same or drastically change).

---Don't believe me? Just look at the outside of his tent: it's mostly organized and sophisticated, but the inside is messy and he sleeps on a plank of wood with a threadbare stained blanket.

He'll struggle with control issues rooted in his anxiety until he finds a way to channel that energy in to something productive and/or healthy.

---He'll veer between controlling micromanager (aggressive) and door mat (people pleasing/ passive) until he finds his (assertive) middle ground.

Anger issues ahoy! He went through "200 years of shit. PURE SHIT!" and had to dissociate/repress his feelings to 'survive'.

---Stabbing Cazador was cathartic, but it only released the surface level of his repressed rage.

-----An interesting line from the game that I haven't seen enough people talk about: When you tell Astarion to keep his cool when Cazador is goading him, Cazador scoffs and sarcastically asks Tav if they've witnessed his "fits of rage". (Of course a "fit of rage" to Cazador is probably Astaion having a slight frown when Cazador wants him to smile and be a pretty toy to show off.)

He will try to push you away and 'test' you to see if you stay consistent in respecting him and his boundaries. He needs to make sure you don't turn into a Cazador when you two are in an argument. He needs to be sure that his "No" is respected when in a steamy moment after a dry spell.

---This probably won't be as intense as it otherwise would've been because of what you two went through together, but he'll still do it.

-----He probably doesn't realize what he's doing, and when he does he'll shame spiral.

I hope you are prepared to patiently give lots of reassurance and affirmation about the same things over and over again.

---It'll sometimes seem as though he is seeking permission, but if you ever act as though you are giving him permission instead of affirmation/ reassurance he will become very defensive.

He's indecisive but unwilling to listen to your input.

---He went from 200 years of having no control or ability to make his own decisions to suddenly being free, he's going to feel overwhelmed.

-----He'll eventually realize that you have his best interest at heart and that you are not telling him what to do, you're offering suggestions to help him make an informed decision.

There's so much more but I'm tired. He'll eventually heal and live a happy and healthy life, but it'll be a bumpy road to get there.

[fairytypingg]

fuck it we're doing this

RAGEON HCS!!!!!

Velvet;

19

leo(i think thats what i am, idk a lot abt astrology)

7 minutes older and takes it way too seriously

overplans for everything

screams cries crumbles if she doesn't have 100% control over any situation

plays a lot into appearances but is actually a chronic workaholic(gets it from her uncle)

she and veneer were raaised by their uncle actually!!

velvet has a love hate relationship with the music industry, before and after the events of the movie

TRUST. ISSUES.

cannot ever talk about her feelings she'll explode

bottles everything up like im so serious

"i'll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i'll die."

she vents frustration by talking mad shit in cs:go lobbies

she's really good at the game

scary good aim because of it, and that DOES transfer to real life

has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces/ref

"i inhereted severe generational trauma and all i got was borderline personality disorder"

someone help her

she needs therapy

also autistic <3

Veneer;

19

also a leo

7 minutes younger but only remembers bcs velvet will not let him forget

he seems chill in comparison because velvet is so high strung but he is the most dramatic bitch ever

says really out of pocket shit without thinking

"yeah that's why your parents dont call you then haha- what why are you looking at me like that what did i say"

he's the epitome of unmedicated adhd

probably needs glasses

the only one of the twins with a drivers license

was very outgoing growing up because velvet hated talking to people, so someone had to do it

doesn't rly understand velvet being depressed and thinks shes a drama queen like him

"im tragically doomed by the narrative" "drink water dumbass"

hes morosexual

"if a man can locate mount rageous on a map that man is not my type"

dumb fucking ass

love him, hes just kinda stupid.

Kid Ritz:

20

idk any other zodiac signs use ur imagination

every personality disorder you can think of

emotional manipulation is a sport and he is bringing home the gold

whats wrong with him

the answer is mommy issues. and rampant childhood neglect. also when you're raised as rich as he was you're gonna come out weird

struggled to understand the concept of lying as a child so when be finally got it he retaliated by lying for sport and then never stopped doing that

prefers machines to people

hes one of those "there is a minimum iq requirement to talk to me" guys

not just a talk show host!!

he's well trained to take over his father's political position when the old man retires

current director of public security

he's known as a purveyor of gossip for a reason

the saying goes that nothing happens in the city without his knowledge

hyperintelligent

like genius iq, reading at a college level by age 5, etc

actual child prodigy in every conceivable way

notorious for being "perfect"

he's the face of Ritzworth Media Corp for a reason

evil genius

also lonely

his father is grossly neglectful and his mother is a deadbeat

did i mention he has mommy issues

never met his mom and has devoted a lot of his energy to forming an intelligence network dedicated to finding her

hates people

like very antisocial

struggles HEAVILY with empathy

his interviews are notoriously difficult since he entertains himself by making his interviewees squirm

casual sadist in every conceivable way

What's Wrong With Him/aff

Orchid;

18

use ur imagination again im not gonna look it up

rebelling against common characterization here stay with me

secretive about her past but obviously hiding something

a chameleon type of person, can change her behavior, mannerisms, and even accent at the drop of a hat

carries a deep grief with her

distrusting and calculating

she'll "befriend" you but it takes a lot of effort to actually gain her trust

she WILL discard you if she's even slightly suspicious

nobody is sure what her goal is, but she has an agenda

orchid might not be her real name either

very mysterious

generally presents as kind and friendly but it's noticibly fake

cannot stress how much she is hiding something

capable of murder and not afraid to resort to such to protect her secret

dont look in her closet

she has participated in her fair share of underage drinking and can hold her liquor pretty well, but if you manage to get her drunk enough you may be able to pry some answers out of her

has a distaste for celebrities she doesn't see as beneficial to know

gives like. really good advice

identity issues <3

the song Phony is perfect for her

she moves as if she's used to her hair being longer than it is

what is she hiding?