#mental abuse tw /

[hvwks]

and listen i get it i understand a hefty sizable chunk (honestly, the vast majority) of the fandom wants endeavor dead, rendered useless, written off, etc, for his actions and thats fair and completely valid bc like. its a fictional dude. actions were reprehensible, you may have those opinions.

but... i just... the potential for those kids to finally heal and move forward. and begin a life for themselves free of the shackles that their family's fucked up dynamics created... so much of that can come from seeing what brought you pain and misery and choosing to move forward, anyway. i'm not saying you need to forgive your abuser or anything of that nature. absolutely not. but i can tell you. if... my mother, who spent so much of my childhood and adolescence telling me how useless i was, how i can't do anything right, won't achieve anything with my life, and fostered these severely debilitating neurodivergencies that i know have to be in full-time therapy for the forseeable future with no real "cure" for it (woohoo lets go bpd!) .... so much as apologized to me even once. for the things that i went through. i think i could heal so much of my inner. i wouldn't be fixed compeltely. hell, i will still need to do my dbt worksheets and my grounding techniques. but at least i won't have to spend the rest of my life dealing with a "would she ever say sorry? would she ever recognize what she did to me?"

and the thing is, at least for shoto, fuyumi, even natsuo to some extent.... they are choosing to be there, choosing to listen to the man that made their life a living hell in his apologies. enji didn't force any of his kids to listen to his apologies. much less accept them. and that's said time and time again. shown multiple times, too. the way those kids choose to step up and move forward is completely of their own volition--and whether YOU, the viewer, an outsider's perspective, decide hes worthy of "redemption" (which!! he explicitly said he didn't want! he specifically said he wants to atone for his actions!! not be seen as a completely different person, but the same man who recognizes his evils and is actively making the choice to see where he can make things better, even by a small fraction if he can!!) doesn't change the fact that there are people out there who would give up their pinky toe to have a parent that hurt them so badly acknowledge their actions and apologize for them.

not because it makes them a btter person all of a sudden. but because it gives the people affected by them the chance to find closure and move forward to grow into something new and transformed.

and THAT is why endeavor's survival, ESPECIALLY after the climax of the todorokis vs dabi, would be important to the narrative as well as the overall growth of the todoroki family. dabi felt what it was like, for the first time, to be seen. he's a boy that never got to grow or learn how to handle his very big emotions. he was a victim in all things. whether that was with endeavor or with afo. but the potential for him to see what could be, see where things can, maybe, just maybe, one day become what the little touya that died at sekoto peak always wanted is too good for me to ignore.

[strawberista]

{Have a headcanon while I'm at it because I've been thinking about it a lot and wanna ramble.}

⚀ It's once again time to impress upon you all just how possessive and jealous Hanekoma can get with his partners/crushes.

⚀ He's one of the most loyal partners you could ever have but on the flip side he is extremely possessive and jealous. He will get bitter at the partners of someone he's grown a fondness for, even though he is perfectly aware how bad that is.

⚀ Hanekoma does recognize the toxicity in himself and actively tries not to be this way. If he catches himself getting angry or bitter he'll actively hold himself back and carefully pick his words and behaviors so as not to be as awful as he's feeling.

⚀ Now even as bad as this is he does have some limitations. Like, he is not going to get mad at his partner because he finds out his partner has exes. He won't get angry if his partner is a widow/er and misses their late partner. He won't get angry if his new partner is mourning the breakup of a previous partner (especially if said partner was mentally or emotionally abused by said partner). He's not going to hold past relationships against his partners at all, full stop.

⚀ However, when he does react, it's intense. He does not like someone coming up and flirting with his current partner, at all. If he sees someone trying to chat up his partner he puts himself into the conversation, aggressively, and insists on taking priority in the conversation. If his partner wants to cut in, that's fine. But if the other person tries talking around him to his partner, he insistently presses in. If they still don't stop he'll finally get cross and start puffing up, telling them to back off, etc. etc.

⚀ If someone flirts with/chats up someone Hanekoma is fond of but not in a relationship with, he more or less gets as far away from the two of them as possible unless his object of affection is clearly uncomfortable. He'll behave protectively if it's obvious they don't want to be flirted with, but he acknowledges that he doesn't own that person and doesn't have a right to interrupt. So he gets himself out of the situation entirely so he doesn't do something stupid.

⚀ In a polyamorous ship, Hanekoma is equally possessive and jealous with his polycule. Once again, a person's involvement is only accepted if his partner(s) show interest first. If it's the other way around, he cuts it off quick. If his partner (s) shows interest in someone, he insists on meeting them and vets them (per the style of "what are your intentions with my daughter" but replace daughter with partner). He will only allow someone even an attempt at vibing with the polycule if he approves of them first and deems them worthy of his partners' love. If he suspects that might just be messing around or that they may be toxic, he won't allow it to continue. He acts like a guard dog of his group and makes it clear to anyone around that he's in possession of those people.

⚀ Hanekoma is also very much a PDA as a form of displaying possession kind of person, but he'll only do this if he has consent from his partner/(s).

⚀ This extreme jealousy/possession is a two way street to Hanekoma. If he's in a relationship with someone he wants them to be equally possessive/jealous of the people around them. He wants ownership to extend over himself and his partner to an extreme degree and in equal amounts. It makes him very happy to see his partner acting possessive over him.

⚀ In his canon where Hanekoma is in a relationship with himself he feels none of these above feelings at all. He is not jealous for his own attention, nor does he feel possessive over himself. It's one of those elements that really can't be recreated in his current situation, and one of those things that makes it so it'll never be truly satisfying for him.

[madammatcha]

Someone: "Who is the most terrible person in the world?"

Me: The Devil's right-hand woman, the person that made me, the one who abused me mentally, emotionally manipulated me, threatened to beat me up, the woman who made me and my dad sound like we're insane, and the woman who alienated herself....

my mom...

[vixlenxe]

Yo, am I allowed to rant about some shit regarding Ivy & Tiff that I've noticed & because I woke up feeling bitchy? It has to do with the whole 'Tiffanie used to feel overshadowed by Ivy' thing, & how people like to say 'I don't understand how sibling can not mean to do that'(i got a few inboxes saying or asking this before) or the lob blame onto Ivy for it. Well here how a sibling unintentionally creates a large shadow for the other to fall into, & why putting all the blame on Ivy is BULLSHIT.

It literally all has to do with their parents. Evault & Jesette are not nice people, nor are they just stupid parents stuck in the past ways of nobles, they are mentally abusive asshole that should not have been allowed to have children. They did not give Tiffanie the time of day previously, all Evault & Jesette wanted was an heir, which meant having a boy, & when Tiffanie didn't come out as such & they had no choice but to stick with a girl heir(aka Ivy as the firstborn), they completely set Tiff aside & gave all their attention to Ivy. They didn't give Tiff love, affection, attention, she was very much an afterthought & the only time she got parental attention was when she did something wrong & had to be scolded. They shoved Ivy in front of every noble in Ishgard because they knew she had the social skills to impress when she wanted too(she just never really wanted too), & pushed Tiffanie back into walls or corners & told her to stay out of the way to not embarrass the family(because that's what she was to her parents, a failure at birth & an embarrassment). And as much as Ivy did try to get their parents to treat Tiffanie better(she argued with them about it basically once a week), they didn't bung an inch. Tiff would always be a failure to them, & so long as they had Ivy as their heir, they didn't need to change their thoughts on her. There were often times Ivy thought, Tiffanie's life would be better if the older sister just wasn't born or just disappeared, & these thoughts are one of many factors that resulted in Ivy running away from home.

Which brings me to part 2 of this, how Ivy leaving home didn't actually help Tiffanie at all, if anything it may of made it worse. Because Evault & Jesette had no one else to be their heir, they had to turn their attention & time to Tiffanie, & it was not the joy she thought it would be. The Baron & Baroness are demanding, critical & perfectionist, & when Tiffanie could not even be half as skilled or social as Ivy was, it only drove home the idea to them even harder that Tiffanie was just a failure from birth. This was her second chance, they gave her a second chance to be more then they thought she was, & she can't even reach the half-way point that Ivy had set. Tiffanie is their sorry failure The Fury cursed them with, & Ivy was not prefect, but she was better then whatever sham Tiffanie is.

That's how Ivy unintentionally created a shadow over Tiffanie for the beginning years of their lives. It wasn't actually Ivy's fault, it was Evault & Jesette's, they just use's Ivy's mold to create the divide. Hearing 'Why can't you be like your sister?' or 'Why can't you be half as skilled as your older sister?' out of your parent's mouth for 80% of your life will fuck you up. And Tiff did put blame on Ivy for those years, because it was just easier to blame someone who feels guilty for something they didn't actually do, over placing the blame on the people who gave birth to you. And Ivy still feels guilty over it, like for a lot of other things she's carrying guilt for on her shoulders, she carrying the weight of being the one who caused her younger sister so much pain on her shoulders despite it not truly being her fault. Yes, Ivy was a factor, but she has apologized & done more then her fair share of making it up to Tiffanie(& plans to continue to make it up to her forever), & compared to the two root causes(who still to this day say they did no wrong in treating Tiffanie the way they did); I think it time we stop bashing Ivy for this.

[hcerin]

kim  minjeong.     she/her.     cis woman.      ›       spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   haerin   “rina”   jung   ,   most   likely   listening   to   the   only   exception   by   paramore   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty   two   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   reserved   yet   adaptable   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   craving   validation   from   friends   and   strangers   alike   ,   the   warmth   on   your   face   from   seeing   the   sunset   on   a   beach   and   lazily   strumming   a   white   oak   guitar   ,   followed   by   daisy   by   marc   jacobs   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   rina   jung   refusing   to   acknowledge   her   relation   to   one   of   the   wealthiest   families   in   california   (   true   )   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .

♡     ◞        statistics.

full  name:  haerin “rina” jung.

nickname:  known professionally as rina but close friends still call her haerin.

date  of  birth:  march 8th, 2001 (22 years old).

zodiac  sign:  pisces.

place  of  birth:  san diego, california.

current  location:  new york city, new york.

gender: cis woman, uses she / her pronouns.

sexuality:  bisexual.

languages: english (native), korean (native).

♡     ◞        bits and bops.

character  tropes:  the pastiche, the phoenix.

traits:  adaptable, hard-working, independent, guarded, cynical, insecure.

likes:  summer, colourful flowers, baths with rose petals, beaches, the smell of coffee.

dislikes:   thunderstorms, horror movies, mustard, being late, paparazzi.

♡     ◞        background.

trigger warning/s: estrangement/abandonment from family, mental abuse

being born to be an heiress to a massive business empire worth millions of dollars is not as exemplary as one might think, haerin jung would say. growing up under the strict eyes of her business-oriented parents, it was always made clear that she and her brother were to do one thing and one thing only — to become the heirs of the family’s legacies; a movie production / distribution company, and a hotel chain.

haerin was six years old when her aunt took her, her brother (wc!!!) and her cousins to the beach every weekend. that was the first time haerin had a taste of the music industry, having seen her first live concert on one of those days. when six-year-old haerin was chosen to sing a song during a karaoke session being held at the beach, she became enraptured with the art of performing in front of a crowd. after that, music and singing became such an essential thing to her that she realised that it wasn’t just a hobby — it was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

wanting to delve deeper into the world of music, haerin had asked for a guitar as her birthday present. although her mother was hesitant about this, she and her father granted her wish. haerin was given an acoustic white oak guitar on the morning of her seventh birthday, and she began spending every spare moment of her day with it. soon it became apparent that haerin wanted nothing to do with inheriting her family’s company, causing a strain on her relationship with her parents.

haerin knew that her parents would never approve of her dream of becoming a singer, so when she was younger she endured all the underhanded comments and cutting remarks made about what her mother called her “singing hobby”. as she grew older, though, her passion for music became stronger and so did her confidence, and haerin started standing up for herself. arguments turned into full-blown fights, which worsened her relationship with her mother even further. this continued for years as mrs jung criticised and found fault in everything haerin did, to the point where haerin and everyone around them knew that all the hatred and fury pent up inside her would burst.

the dreadful day came when haerin turned seventeen. they were fighting again, both haerin’s and her mother’s tempers heightened like never before. it had all been a blur until her mother screamed words that haerin would never forget. 

“no daughter of mine would ever disappoint me like you have, and as far as i’m concerned, you’re no longer part of my family!”

the words echoed in her head, shattering every shred of hope that her mother had any love for her left in her body. haerin had turned to her brother then — her best friend; the person she could always count on  — but he had kept his mouth shut. that was when she knew she was truly alone. swallowing her tears, haerin packed her things, guitar and all and was forced out the door. haerin got in her car and drove around the city endlessly, eventually ending up on her what would become her roommate’s (wc) house.

she spent the next years building her life back up with the help of her few treasured friends by her side, still determined to not let anyone stop her from becoming a musician. she started a youtube account where she posted song covers and it gained some attention, but she still longed to be singing onstage.

when she was able to get a gig considerably bigger than her previous gigs, this was where she made her breakthrough. an a&r agent at that event scouted her and introduced her to the executives of a record label. at first she was reluctant, but after a conversation with the head of the label, haerin was convinced the label was right for her. at the age of twenty, she signed the contract which stated the the label would manage her career for the next seven years.  

after relocating to new york to be closer to the record label’s headquarters, haerin initially struggled to write songs as she wasn’t sure how she wanted her sound to be, causing her career to be stunted for a while. eventually, she met with someone (wc) and was inspired to write lucid dream, her debut single.

now going by the stage name rina, she has released a few more singles which has propelled her to mainstream fame and she’s currently working on her debut extended play.

♡     ◞        personality   +   headcanons.

as a popstar, she keeps her personal life relatively private, and though it is known to the public that she is related to the family that owns jung properties, she has managed to dodge every question from the paparazzi about it.

she is a heaux for cute floral dresses !! not that she doesn’t want to wear other types of outfits (and she can totally rock them if she wants to) but her fashion sense is just naturally elegant and traditionally girly like that.

huge introvert. she kind of doesn’t know how to communicate with strangers or people in general. this is because she was homeschooled, plus with her lifestyle now it doesn’t allow her to meet a lot of people or make friends, but she’s mostly very courteous.

around people she’s comfortable with, though, she has a witty sense of humour. this also bleeds into how if someone is rude to her or someone she cares about, she will not be afraid to clap back. this is rooted from how she resented her brother for not defending her to her parents, so she’s made it her life mission to firmly fight for what she believes in.

haerin absolutely craves validation. because she couldn’t get it from her parents, she started looking for it elsewhere. having social media as a platform for where people praise her for her music and talents fills her with unending joy. 

she is absolutely oblivious to her own beauty due to the insecurities that stemmed from being abandoned by her family. will blush like crazy if someone compliments her appearance, and there’s no doubt that she will think of the compliment for the rest of the day. 

however, she is quite aware of her capabilities as a vocalist. her vocal talent is one of the few things she is confident in, as it has been something she has been doing since she was just six years old.

lucid dream was a song written about her lost relationship with her brother, but the rest of the world interpreted it as a love song and haerin didn’t bother to correct them.

haerin is still considered a nepo baby i fear because although she wants to be known for her own merit, people are still more interested in her for her connections with the jung family, which is why she’s been getting a lot of opportunities -- and deep down inside, she knows it’s the main cause of her fame. 

♡     ◞        wanted   connections. 

platonic   —   down for anything and everything! best friend, frenemies, friends that used to be close but have drifted apart, etc!

labelmate     —   haerin’s role model. it started out as exchanged glances in the record building’s hallways and shy waves in the cafeteria, but after an encounter in the recording studio, they both hit it off immediately. this person could be the one who inspired haerin to finally start writing after they gave her some advice as a fellow popstar/singer and they’re now good friends.

current/ex roommates    —   the people that she roomed with after being kicked out of the jung mansion, haerin will always be grateful for them for being by her side throughout the course of what would be the worst years of her life. they could also have a pre-existing relationship/friendship before being roommates, such as childhood friends or a possibly relatives.

romantic    —   i love a good bffs to lovers trope, or someone who could bring haerin out of her shell, but honestly i’d love anything. give this girl some love pls.

that’s all i can think of at the moment but dm if you’re interested to fill a connection or just to plot !! <3

♡     ◞        taken   connections.

estranged brother   —   haerin and her brother were as thick as thieves -- until the day their parents threatened to disown her, and he refused to meet her eyes nor stand up for her. when she was thrown out, haerin cut off all contact with him and they haven’t spoken in years. though she won’t admit it, she misses him fiercely and wishes he had been there during moments like when she signed the record deal, or when her youtube video reached one million views for the first time. taken by damon jung! @stereotypcs​ ​

[scuba-divers]

It is quite possible that I will not be active on Tumblr for a while as I may attempt to run from home as I have a guardian that constantly manipulates and screams at me for something that I genuinely cannot control however I wish not to share. The abuse is not physical, but if you are in the Discord server specifically, you might be able to tell that my mental state is. Eroding. And I do not want Tumblr to witness that either, so I thought I should give out a warning.

[jade-escobar]

Rear View Mirror | Para/Call

Featuring: Jade Clark & Jeanette Shapiro; mentions of @rodrigo-esc , Jasper & Richard Clark Time Frame: Late morning, Wed. April 26, 2023 Location: Jade & Clover’s apartment, SF, CA | Jeanette’s condo, SF, CA Notes/Triggers: A phone call between Jade & her mom wherein Jeanette does what she does best. Verbal & psychological abuse content/trigger warnings

When Jade received a text from her mother stating that they needed to talk, Jade couldn’t help the momentary, erratic leap in her heart when she read the words. She’d had a day off of work and at the time, had been looking into therapists for herself--one that she felt she could afford on her own, could work with her schedule and specialized in the matters that she needed to address. For nearly an hour, Jade debated whether or not it would be best to use that time to talk with her mother. After a deep breath, she went ahead tapped the ‘call’ button on her mother’s name before she could change her mind.

Her mother answered on the second ring.

“Finally, you’ve called. What the hell are you doing? You’ve been digging your heels in like a child over this catering business of yours but now you’re entangling yourself with that Roger boy too!?”

“Rodrigo,” Jade quietly corrected, having initially frozen, wondering how her mother knew that the two were dating. Was she stalking them? But before Jade could ask, her mother barrelled on.

“What is wrong with you, Jade? Honestly! You have been given so many opportunities in life. I made sure you had nothing but the best growing up.” Jeanette began to tick off of each of her fingers as she listed, “The best education I could provide, the best tutors, the best clothes, the best nannies. With all of that and you couldn’t convince your father to properly declare you as an heir. So the one thing I’ve told you since then--the one and only thing I’ve said to you, which you repeatedly continue to ignore--was for you just not embarrass me. It was the least you could do after so many wasted year I invested in you.”

Not meeting her mother’s gaze, Jade said, “I’m not embarrassing you by working or dating Rodrigo.”

“Oh no?” Jeanette challenged, voice becoming even sharper. “Tell me then, Jadey-kins, since you’re omniscient, what’s respectable about this business of yours? You’re a cook for crying out loud! And what’s more, what sort of plan do you have in place should you fail? Do you have some sort of equally or more successful back-up plan in place? And considering that Roderick’s a teacher, I can’t imagine he’s your back-up plan.”

“Rodrigo,” Jade corrected again.

“Whatever! Do you really see anything serious with him? Do you see yourself figuring out a future with him? Have you even thought about what you would do if your so-called career fell through or if he lost his measly little job? What if it doesn’t even take all of that, hm? You two haven’t even known each other that long. How well does he know you, Jadey? Really know you? Does he know about all of the problems you have? Is Roberto going to put up with all of that for the long haul? Because I know those things. I know how taxing you can be to live with. And you’re delusional if you think a sane or reasonable person would willingly sign up to be with someone with so many issues. And you and I both know that you can’t go running to your dad or his adult offspring every time life knocks you down and you don’t know how to get up by yourself.”

The more Jade listened to her mother, the further back she’d been knocked. But her mother’s last rant was a massive blow to Jade’s insecurities and traumas of the past. While her mother carried on, ‘advising’ her to think about it, and then she proceeded to emphasize the importance of appearances and not embarrassing her, Jade’s listening abilities were growing distant. Her mother was saying something about not understanding something about higher standards for herself but Jade’s attention was starting to split in the direction of trying not to cry while on the phone. She knew it would only add to her mother’s complaints and criticisms.

“You really need to give this whole dating thing more thought than you have so far, Jadey-kins. I’m sure it feels... nice now but don’t be short-sighted, dear. It’s going to be your downfall. And I still say you need to re-evaluate your career choices as well but for now, sort out this thing you have with Rocco.”

When Jade said nothing, Jeanette clicked her tongue and sighed, “So now you’re not speaking to me for being honest with you?”

“It’s not that,” Jade replied and then swallowed thickly. “I’m just... thinking about what you said.”

“Well you could say as much. Anyway, I’ve said all I needed to say and I have to go now. This was exhausting. Talk again soon.”

And with that, Jeanette ended the call, leaving Jade to sit alone with the barrage of cruelty.

[terrific-togekiss]

I love how this goes hand in hand with another post I found.

Always doing anything BUT treating toxic women as abusers worth every callout and no defense.

Men who admit when they’re sad and let you hold them are so strong and absolute treasures.

[epicwafflepie]

I came back to my dad's place just to pick up my meds and clothes and he fucking lashed out at me. And then when I walked out with my stuff and put it in my mom's car he stormed out and lashed out at both of us. Anyways this is my wake up call to officially move out I'm fucking sick of his psychological and verbal abuse. I've put up with it for way too long as an adult (and even a bit as a teen but it got worse when I became an adult). I'm officially moving in with my mom.

[fletcherwilbury]

@whumpuary Day 21: Memories

Warning for Canon-typical violence, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, bullying, favoritism

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[animentality]

[song-of-the-rune]

"You're a liar."

Kaz stands up for himself. Hope the players ever earn his trust enough to get him to this point because he needs it (:

"You're lying." Kaztik can feel himself practically floating off the ground as he says it. Did he actually say that? The words had escaped his lips more than he'd really spoken them. He feels almost as horrified as Rikkal looks. And at the same time -- some part of him feels elated saying it. "You're lying," he repeats.

Rikkal sighs. This wasn't the first time in recent memory he'd had to set things straight. He'll need to figure out the root cause of Kaztik's doubts, but for now… "Kaz, we've been over this. I'm not lying to you. They --"

"No."

"No?"

"No." Kaztik feels his face twist into a grin. He's going to kill me. He's going to fucking kill me. Why am I smiling, oh gods, I'm going to die, he's going to kill me, why am I smiling -- "No, you are lying. I don't believe that they'd do something like that, destroy all my work, when they put in so much of the work. It's you. You're the one who's been trapping us here." He walks toward Rikkal, then stops and looms there for a moment. "You've been trapping us all here, one way or another. You know what I think?"

Rikkal's tail swishes with irritation, and he forces a smirk. "Something profoundly stupid, probably."

Kaztik picks him up with one hand by the collar of his robe. "I think we don't need you anymore."

"Kaz. Oh, Kaz. You do need me. You -- you know that. Right? You haven't forgotten? You're not safe without the soulcage." His eyes turn wide. "Without the -- soulcage…" He watches as Rikkal's other hand emerges from a pocket, holding a small knife. "If you hurt me, you're going to regret it," he shouts, flailing, trying to kick at his captor. "You know, you know you can't, can't ever get away from me, Kaz, yeah? You have a part of me, and that means that I'll always, always, always find you. Don't do this. You'll regret it. Don't take it out. Don't do this, Kaz!"

---

Kaztik turns the bloody gem over in his hand. The world is spinning. Yes, there will always be a part of Rikkal's soul within him -- there's no way to undo that damage, at least, not within his own knowledge. But for now, at least, he has this missing piece of his own soul back. He should feel triumphant, but it doesn't feel real, yet.

Give it time. He closes his hand around the gem, squeezing until he can feel it digging into his palm. Just need to give it time.

[jade-escobar]

Unseen | Para

Featuring: Jade Clark & Jeanette Shapiro; brief appearances and mentions of Jasper & Richard Clark Notes: Vignettes of Jade’s upbringing with Jeanette throughout stages of her life. Honestly, there’s not really anything happy about this. Triggers: Verbal abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, domestic abuse, & overdose

Young Jade entered the luxury apartment wielding the spelling test in her hand. “Mommy! Mommy! Miss Williams says I got second place in the spelling bee today!”

She’d clearly been eager to share the news despite her nanny trying to catch up to her when she hurried into her mother’s office. The newly retired model was looking over prints of herself and hadn’t looked up at Jade when she responded, “Why did you get second?”

An eight year-old Jade paused, confused, “Because Stacie Miller got the most right. Miss Williams said that she got the most answers right and gave her a blue ribbon for it. But I got a red one, see?!” Jade waved the ribbon in the air along with her test.

But Jeanette didn’t see. She didn’t acknowledge her daughter’s accomplishment beyond telling her, “Second place isn’t first place, Jade. You should have gotten first place. You need to work harder. Study more and earn first place. Go to your room and study.”

Face falling, Jade said a little more quietly, “But I got second place, Mommy.”

“I don’t care. Second place is nothing to be proud of. As I said, it isn’t first. Now go.”

The nanny--who flinched despite being familiar with Jeanette’s harsh rearing--politely placed her hands on Jade’s slumped shoulders and ushered her from the room, kindly encouraging the little girl that they would practice the words that she missed.

================ ================  ================

Jade sat before piano keys, playing Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu (Op. 66), a piece that she had been rehearsing to play by heart for an upcoming recital. Her private instructor had been slowly pacing behind her, giving slow, approving nods while her fingers moved along the black and white keys, grazing some notes and trilling others. She’d shut her eyes at one point, trying to imagine the sheet music in front of her but mere seconds after having done so, she heard teeth sucking and and curt sigh.

Her mother.

“Jade, if you have to close your eyes and pretend that he music is in front of you, then you aren’t ready. And if you aren’t ready then you might as well be pulled from the recital. I don’t need you embarrassing me in front of anyone. Learn the piece by heart before the end of your lesson or tell your tutor so that someone else--someone better than you--can fill the spot.”

A young teen-aged Jade’s brows furrowed, determination overcoming her features. She heard her mother’s voice in the distance add, “Or you can not be a quitter, or lose your competition like you did with violin, and actually earn your performance space in this recital. Either way, it’s entirely on you.”

Jade’s eyes were opened now as she continued playing. There were some tempo changes throughout and she knew the piece was going to pick up its pace soon; she could channel her persistence into that. It was a six minute piece and come hell or high water, she was going to have it memorized and perform it perfectly for the recital.

================= ================  ================

Jade was nearing the end of her senior year in high school. She’d maintained a 4.0 GPA, if not higher all four years, stayed involved in track and orchestra, and was waiting to hear back from two of the five different universities she had applied to. At this point in her life, she’d met her father six times that she could remember. He’d sent her birthday cards and gifts each year, gifts at Christmas, and he’d opened a banking account in her name where he regularly deposited money, separate from the settlement with her mother for child support. For the most part, Jade had no reason to spend the money. Her mother wouldn’t allow her to “degrade” herself or derail her focus away from her stellar academics by getting a job, and everything that she needed was provided for her, either from her mother deciding that she needed it, or her father or nanny (when she had one) having gifted it to her.

While most of her peers were talking about plans for Spring Break and considering senior trips for the summer, Jade had been anxiously awaiting responses for the remaining two universities. She had already received the acceptance packets from SFSU, UC Santa Cruz and UC San Diego. The latter was the furthest that her mother would allow her to allow her to apply without giving her grief. It was a small fraction of the money from her father that Jade had used toward just one of her five college applications. And since it was around the time that colleges were reaching out to students, she was making a point to go to the mailbox almost daily. That day, Jade arrived home, greeted the doorman and checked the mailbox. Sitting inside of the box with various pieces of mail for her mother was a college packet--UC Berkeley. Jade softly smiled. She was familiar enough with the other UC acceptance packages to know that this was another one. And while she’d been happy to see it as UC Berkeley was her second choice school, she was still waiting on her first choice and only out-of-state application.

Carrying the mail with her book bag to the elevator, Jade headed up to hers and her Mom’s shared apartment and let herself inside, feeling a bit buoyant over the UC Berkeley acceptance. The buoyancy quickly fell like a brick dropping into the pit of her stomach, however, when she walked through the living room and saw her mother sitting in her favorite chair, face fixed in an icy glare at Jade. In her left hand, she held up a packet addressed to Jade with three letters in large print across the paper packet. Three letters from the school Jade had wanted to attend the most: NYU.

Jade felt like a deer in headlights, clutching the rest of the mail to her chest but her expression gradually changed to a neutral one after her mother slammed the packet on the side table next to herself and stood, diving into a tirade about Jade’s betrayal. Jade’s conniving behavior. Jade going behind her back to apply to NYU without telling her. Jade doing something so stupid as to waste time and money to submit the application in the first place knowing that she wouldn’t be allowed to go. Jade not realizing that UC Berkeley, Santa Cruz and San Diego all have top rated business programs and it’s already been decided that that would be her area of study. Jade being selfish as the most inopportune time. Jade having responsibilities that would be easily thwarted by her being clear across the country for four years. On and on, and on and on Jeanette went, not caring for one moment as Jade stood there the entire time, taking the succession of verbal lashings. It only grew worse when a tear silently trickled down Jade’s face.

By the end of it all, Jade agreed to Jeanette’s forced promise of accepting the admission to UC Berkeley.

================= ================  ================

“But I don’t want to go out with him, Mom,” Jade protested in an even-toned voice, a frown forming on her face.

She and her mother had been riding back from a benefit and were arriving back at their home. Jeanette hadn’t replied right away, so Jade thought it was okay to speak on.

“Ryan’s not interested in me--not really. He’s very shallow, and he kept trying to kiss me but his breath was foul. I don’t want to date him. Is it possible that there’s someone else? Maybe I could look for someone single and legible who fits the requirements you have set out?”

The driver stopped at their residence. Jeanette gave a nod of ‘thanks’ and Jade verbalized one. the two women exited the back of the vehicle and headed inside from the chilly Bay night. Seconds after they were safely behind closed doors however, Jeanette sneered at Jade, lifted a hand and struck her daughter across the face, hard.

It wasn’t the first time she’d laid a hand on Jade, so the younger woman hadn’t reacted with much surprise but still cupped her cheek in hopes of easing the searing pain.

“You are so ungrateful and entitled. I have done so much for you, your entire life. Where has your father been, hm? Nowhere near as involved. I’ve been here, raising you, pushing you to strive for nothing less than the absolute best and still it’s not enough for you? Some boy shows his interest and you can’t handle it because you aren’t interested in him? My God, Jade. I knew it. I knew I’ve been spoiling you all along. I could have forced your father’s hand and made him raise you sooner but no. I didn’t. I merely insisted that he do the bare minimum of lending financial support since he can’t bother being an actual parent. Yet this is my reward for being nice, for thinking that I’m looking out for your best interest. You can’t go on a date with a boy because you’re being so ridiculously judgemental.”

She shoved Jade, knocking the tiny, young woman out of her way and to the ground in passing. Jade had tripped on her dress hem and fell. Jeanette clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes, “Honestly Jade, I hardly touched you. Get up. I’m not changing anything for you and Ryan. You can suck it up and go on a few dates with him. It would do you some good--for practice and a bit of good exposure if nothing else. Now go clean up your face and go to bed. We have things to do tomorrow, now that you have a date.”

With a hand on her still stinging cheek, Jade used her other hand to gather up her dress and carefully got to her feet, saving her tears for when she was behind her bedroom door. She was no stranger to her mother’s physical wrath when her words weren’t enough, but it was never any easier to deal with, be it belt strikes on her rear when she was little, across the back of her legs when she grew a bit older, or a smack across the face in rare instances like this.

Drawing in a shaky breath, Jade went to the kitchen for some ice in a Ziploc and wrapped it in a paper towel. She held it gently to her face, and hurried to her room, unable to hold back her tears for much longer. The moment she swung the door shut behind her, she whimpered and let out some sobs, lowering the ice from her face and crumpling against her door with her forehead in her hand, doing her best to cry quietly in her room.

================ ================ ================

One of the last things Jade remembered doing was texting Jasper, “Call 911″ to which he asked, “For your Mom?” to which she replied, “For me.” He began calling her phone but she didn’t answer. And she had no idea how many times he’d actually tried to call her.

Jade lost consciousness at some point, but when she came to again, she was groggy, disoriented and her throat ached. It didn’t take long for her to realize that she was inside a hospital. She was hooked to a monitor as well as an IV, and her eyelids felt heavy.

“Jade, thank God,” she heard in a hushed tone, Jasper half-leaping out of his chair near her bed. He stroked her short, straightened hair and gazed down at her with a mix of worry and anger. “I don’t know whether to hug you or shake you. What the hell happened?”

She tried to think through what he was asking while swallowing thickly. Her throat was so dry and Jasper must have noticed because he picked up the plastic pitcher beside her bed and poured her some water, stabbed a straw into it and held it for her to sip. And she kept trying to sift through the fog in her brain, remembering what happened.

Jade had been home for the weekend. Finals were a week away. She was sitting on her bed, looking at the culinary schools she planned to apply to--

A commotion outside of her room interrupted her thoughts. She and Jasper both looked to the door as it swung open. Her mother strode in with her father and a nurse right on their heels.

The sight of her parents had the memories flooding back. During her culinary school browsing, Jasper had texted her, “FYI, my mom’s pregnant with twins. She and Dad are going to have their publicist announce it to the media soon. This weekend.”

And after having re-read the text several times, Jade had quickly and quietly spiraled, knowing that her mother was going to snap once she learned the news. Her mother wasn’t always consistent in the way she admonished her but one thing had been very clear: Jeanette wanted Richard Clark to acknowledge her, Jade, as his heir. Jade never quite knew if her mother thought Jade should be an equal to Jasper, or if she wanted him to be seen as ‘better’ than Jasper. For Jade, she was just thankful that Jasper had reached out and never gave up or stopped trying with her. Not only had he been a real brother to her, but he’d become her best friend because of it. But that relationship didn’t matter to Jeanette at all. Jeanette wanted what she wanted; she wanted success, opportunity, acknowledgement and Jade was sure that her mother wanted some of the monetary fortune too. But Jeanette was nothing more than an ex-mistress and she’d refused for Jade to be reduced to only the product of their former affair.

The news of there being two more Clark children on the way though was sure to push Jeanette over the edge though, and that drove Jade’s panic into a severely dark and irrational place--on that took her to the medicine cabinet of her bathroom, and eventually, texting a warning to the only person whom she trusted.

Now, the four of them were all in Jade’s hospital room. Jasper looked guarded, Jeanette looked murderous, Richard looked remorseful and Jade although she was still extremely groggy, Jade’s anxiety was needling its way to the surface again. Richard voiced his relief over Jade being awake and hesitantly scooted to the other side of her bed, patting her hand awkwardly while being careful not to disturb her IV. The nurse checked her monitor and asked Jade some questions, and then asked that the family keep their visit brief as the doctor and psychiatrist would want to speak with Jade in private soon.

No sooner had the nurse left though, Jeanette rounded on her daughter. “I can’t believe you. Not only did you pull this stunt but I saw what was said on your phone between you two,” she said gesturing between Jade and Jasper without looking at Jade’s older half-brother. “Apparently you did all of this because you didn’t have the nerve to tell me? Is that what it is? Well you don’t have to worry, because now I know.” She rounded on Richard for a moment and spat, “You are such a selfish bastard,” and then looked back to Jade, “And you’re no better. In fact you shouldn’t bother returning home. You’ve legally not been my responsibility for over a year now and since you’re bent on living or not living your own life, then I don’t want you free loading in my home anymore.” With that, Jeanette shoved past Richard and left the hospital room.

Richard and Jasper helped arrange for her to get her belongings from Jeanette’s apartment, and Jade spent the summer at Jasper’s place. While her mother never outright apologized for her comments in the hospital, she began speaking to Jade again some months after Jade was discharged and soon established a mildly different and somewhat distant--but still unhealthy and abusive relationship with her daughter.

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[infcinity]

Was that [HALLE BAILEY]? Oh no no, that was just [CHRISSY CUNNINGHAM], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [STRANGER THINGS]. They are [EIGHTEEN] years old, use [SHE/HER], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long. 

how long has your character been here

she’s been here for almost two years.

what is your character’s job

she works in a coffee shop part time, the other half of the time she’s studying dance at college.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

from after her death!

has any magic affected your character

nope!

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know!!

chrissy wake up !! i don’t like this !!! oop, but hello friends, this is chrissy aka the best baby who deserved better !!

she grew up in hawkins with her parents and her younger brother

her life was p normal through middle school, but things started to change throughout high school, where she became popular and a cheerleader, which added pressure onto her to be perfect.

most of the time no one would be able to tell that there was anything wrong with her, but chrissy really struggled with everything, especially her image which eventually led her to having an eating disorder,, which her mother did not help.

her mother was part of the route of her problems, constantly nitpicking her appearance and telling her things that were drilled into her head.

this continued up until her death, but she was speaking to the school councillor, which didn’t help much.

when she started dating jason, she really liked him, but as she grew older, they began to drift apart and she felt like she couldn’t tell him or any of her other friends anything, which left her feeling really isolated in her own mind.

when her problems got worse, she had initially brushed off the headaches off and the nose bleeds, but they started to get worse and her nightmares left her feeling drained.

she started to hear and see things that no one else could, which lft her terrified that she was losing her mind and turned her towards drugs.

which is where she met eddie in the woods after school and eventually asked him for something stronger than weed.

chrissy wishes sometimes that she didn’t remember what happened to her, her life would much easier if she didn’t remember her death, but she fortuneteller does and it still haunts her.

here in dc

chrissy was p messed up when she first came to the city ?? but she eventually got some help from a therapist and has managed to somewhat go back to normal, not her fake normal, her real normal.

she’s started to heal herself from the emotional abuse that her mother put her through and started working through her trauma from her death, but she still has days where things are really bad.

she’s started going to college for dance, since she never really got to graduate high school, so she decided to go and do something that she’s good at and she works part time in a coffee shop near her apartment.

part of her is relieved that jason or any of her friends aren’t here ?? or even any of her family, tho she misses them, it’s easy for her to just breathe here and just be herself without having to keep the title of ‘queen of hawkins high’ up.

she’s actually much happier here in dc, though she does have some issues, they’re not nearly as bad as she had been in the past.

possible wanted connections:

friends: her friends from home weren’t exactly the greatest, so her having some nice friends here in the city would be good for her, people to go shopping with, to go for coffee with and just all of the bestie vibez that are cute as well. 

people she attends college with: give her some other dancer friends pls :)

exes: maybe people that she'd dated for a while but it didn't end up working out ???? could still be friends or could hate each other lmaooo