#meme file . . . sam winchester

[sweetie-blue]

My favorite genre of men

[theirmadness]

jar of fears.

natasha's fears . . .

samuel's fears . . .

TAGGED BY: boo bear 2.x0, aka @qapsiel. ♡ TAGGING: @denydefeat: anyone, @therelentless, @missperfectlyfinewrites: anyone, @protectxthem: anyone, @downs1de: house & sam, @lilyspaintedred, @vyrulent: anyone, @plastrieve, @bloodymyhands: anyone, @ravarui: tony & jaime, @w1dowed, @sav1ored, @wrathfulmercy and you. ♡

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

WIP TITLE TAG GAME

@leatafandom This is the third time I’ve tried to make this damned post. Lol! @staff (tumblr) keeps eating my post even though it tells me it is saving my draft. Anyway, here is my list.

Please feel free to ask any questions about any of the docs by file name either by comment, reblog, or ask. Thank you!

Winchesters A Life in the Hunter House

(Hades — Tartarus) The Empty’s Daughter

#99 prompt

#99.2 prompt

A Father’s Daughter

Alec M x Reader Crush

Alec x Reader 2

All around me 2.0 (Slow Burn)

Alpha Angel Cas x Omega!Witch!F! Reader

Alpha! Dean x Omega F!

Alpha Dr Castiel Alpha Dean sinus problems true mates

An Angel’s Unexpected Companion

Angst Reader Hurt/Comfort wHappy unexpected ending

Ao3 2023 Kinktober

Ao3 Romancing the Hunter

Ao3 Xmes Exchange Quicky 2023

Ask Request 2024-02-28 Beau x Reader

Ask Request 2024-05-31 Sam Wesson x Gabriel

Ask Request 2024-06-12 Billy Butcher x m/ftm

Ask Request 2024-06-13 Dean or Jensen x Older F! Reader

Ask Request 2024-06-29 Sam x Methos

Ask Request 2024-07-02 FicFacers 2024 (Oct due date)

AU - BDSM Dom Cas Switch/Dom Dean x Sub Fem

Bankers, Fairies, and Foreclosures, Oh my! (From @writing-prompt-s)

Being a sex god isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Alex Drabble - Making a boring chore a little more fun together

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Boredom WIP

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Disassociation 2

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Timestamp.2 Horror Movie

Burning Up

Destiel Date Night

Destiel Rabbit Moth Love Story

Domestic Destiel #? Glowy Angel seduction

Dragon Cas x Dean Plot (Giant and Pet meme)

Falling in love with Angel ORIGINAL

God-made Nephilim Rescues Castiel

Guardian of Humanity scene Drabble

Guardian of Humanity journal and scene

Heat

Ignoring the Alpha’s Voice

Ignoring Their Omega

Imagine Dean comes home after a bad day. (from @harmonity-vibes)

Nephilim of Stone

Post 15x19 DestielxAlex

Purpose

Rough time with your mental illness 2.0 (from @imaginethatsupernatural )

Scent Out, Make Out

Sick Stubborn Reader x Angel Cas

Soldier Boy x Flirty Reader

Spn Fairy Tales: The Ugly Duckling, a Destiel story (inspired by @fledglinginatrenchcoat-blog)

Spn poly Drabble 2023-08-30

SPNBB…

Sugar Daddy Horseman Death x Lucifer

Tell Me No Lies

Tell Me No Lies 2.0 (Nightingale Witch)

The Angel’s Mate 2.0

The Fluffstiel Bang 2024 — Story

The Fluffstiel Bang 2024 — Story 2.0

The Omega

The Packless, no longer less —Bad Day (Becoming the Pack Alpha's Mate)

The Packless, no longer less SERIES

The Virus ORIGINAL

They don’t know when to quit

Trigger Warning

True Mate A/B/O DestielxAfab

Two Men and the Virgin

Warming Him Up

Winchester!Sister x Castiel

I’m gonna go a step beyond because I can. I am going to advise WIPs in my TUMBLR DRAFTS too. This will include the date, title or inspiration, and pairing if I have one.

Jul 2 - Moth to A Flame, Soldier Boy x F!Reader

Feb 29 - “Could you tell me another story while we drive to our destination, (Y/N)?” from @imaginethatsupernatural

Aug 20, 2022 - Angel!Castiel x Hunter!Reader (GN)

Jul 15, 2022 - Sub/Switch!Bi!Dean Winchester x Sub!F!Reader x Dom!Bi!Castiel

Just realized I didn’t tag anyone. Lol! Of course, no pressure. Only if you have time. 😊 ❤️❤️❤️ @luci-in-trenchcoats @zationao3 @riley-phoenix @lotus820 @impala-dreamer @spnexploration @destielshipper4cas @sharkfish @niche-pastiche @wisteria-lodge @naughtystiel

[queerdeans]

🌙 hi, i'm virginia, i'm 29 but also 309. into: my wife, my cats, writing. and the cw's supernatural (2005).

🌙 my stuff: writing. videos. text posts/spn memes.

🌙 i post about mostly supernatural but you'll find a couple of other things (X Files, Buffy, Doctor Who, Captain America, Our Flag Means Death...) in the mix.

🌙 my agatha all along sideblog: @agathaspussy

🌙 no terfs, no incest. ever.

tags: amvs I like; fics I like or want to read; fanart I like; resources for fic

meta tags: queer, dean, sam, castiel, jack, writers, and tagged by episode (i.e. "meta: 1x01")

My A03

(fics linked under the cut)

Supernatural Fics:

All My Love | In-Progress | 40k+ words — Destiel

Dean's got his hands full with his kids and isn't looking for love. Emma's 13, a young and rebellious teenager, and Dean's still trying to figure out co-parenting 5-year-old Ben with Lisa after their separation. Castiel has just moved to Lawrence to become caregiver for his 3-year-old nephew, Jack, after his sister Anna's sudden death. When the two meet at the local fall festival, neither is able to resist their desire for the other, despite the complications of family life.

Those Who Get in the Way of Peace | Completed | 47k words — Destiel

“Don’t make me an optimist. You will ruin my life.” Dean Winchester finally has his shit together: business is booming at his auto repair shop, he's eating healthy (okay, he's eating salad with bacon bits), he's exercising (in a cemetery). He's single, but he's claiming it as a good thing. And so what if Sam's not talking to him? So what if his dad is marrying an insane artist? And so what if the priest marrying them is hot as hell with a name that sounds like a sin just to say it — Castiel? AKA: another Fleabag fic, but maybe it'll have a happy ending. Maybe.

My Suptober24 | Ficlets

Featuring fluff, smut, angst, and everything in between

Play It Again | Ficlet | 2,500 words — Destiel

“Dear piano player in apartment #3, do you take requests? you should, because I’ve woken up to you playing piano every day for a year and a half now. led zeppelin. that’s my request. play it or get the led out. ;) -dean winchester, apartment #2”

5 Times Castiel Was Human and One Time He Really Was | Ficlet | 4,200 words — Destiel

Of course Eve ate the fruit.

[genderenvyelimination]

First Round Masterlist

3/12/2023:

Zuko | Avatar: The Last Airbender vs. Red | Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Asmodeus | Obey Me! vs Garry | Ib

Spencer Reid | Criminal Minds vs. ENA | ENA

John Doe | Malevolent vs Lyfrassir Edda | The Bifrost Incident

Blackbeard | Our Flag Means Death vs. Percy Jackson | Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Otachi | Pacific Rim vs. Kurama | Naruto

Thanatos | Hades vs. Obito | Naruto

Lydia Deetz | Beetlejuice vs. John Mitchell | Being Human UK

Milo Thatch | Atlantis vs. Hiccup | How to Train Your Dragon

Loki | Norse Mythology vs. Kaworu | Neon Genesis Evangelion

Chat Noir | Miraculous Ladybug vs. Stevonnie | Steven Universe

3/14/2023:

Byleth | Fire Emblem vs. Fiver | Watership Down

Toruk Makto | Avatar: Way of Water vs. Aragorn | LOTR

Alma Winograd-Diaz | Undone vs. Jennifer Check | Jennifer's Body

Meta Knight | Kirby vs. Anakin Skywalker | Star Wars

Sylvester Ashling | Epithet Erased vs. Emmet | Pokemon

Thursday Plurbonym Boyporridge | Strange Aeons vs. Wizard | wizardisananimal

Bears in Trees | Band vs. 4th Phase Ghouls | Ghost BC

Electra | Starlight Express vs. Gerard Way | MCR

Hare | Tales from EarthSea vs. Sonic | Sonic the Hedgehg

Hero Killer Stain vs. Hawks | BNHA

Ekko | Arcane vs. Papa Emeritus IV/Copia | Ghost Band

Will Wood | Will Wood and the Tapeworms vs. The Toy Soldier | The Mechanisms

3/15/2023:

Lewis Pepper | Mystery Skulls vs. The Curious | Creeped Out

Raine Whispers | The Owl House vs. El-Ahrairah | Watership Down

Kris Dreemur | Deltarune vs. Doug Eiffel | Wolf 359

Elias | Ancient Magnus Bride vs. Ash Crimson | King of Fighters

Testament | Guilty Gear vs. Megamind | Megamind

Undertaker | Black Butler vs. Cure Chocolat | Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Young Tim Curry Characters | Clue vs. Rumi | Just Roll With It

Richard III | Requiem of the Rose King vs. Simon Petrikov |Adventure Time

Denji | Chainsaw Man vs. Sasori | Naruto

Hunter | Rain World vs. Sam Winchester | Supernatural

Eddie Munson | Stranger Things vs. Magnus Chase | Magnus Chase

3/16/2023:

Hiei | Yu Yu Hakusho vs. Kaname Date | Ai: the Somnium Files

Bold and Brash | Spongebob Squarepants vs. Lucienne | Sandman (THEY BOTH WON?)

E-boy Wojak | Meme culture vs. Cal Kestis | Jedi: Fallen Order

Team Rocket | Pokemon vs. Nico de Angelo | Percy Jackson/ Riordanverse

Ludwig Von Drake | Disney vs. Red Lizard | Rain World

Julian Devorak | Arcana vs. Professor Venomous | OKKO

Giovanni Potage | Epithet Erased vs. Ryuko | Kill La Kill

Mr. Fox | Fantastic Mr. Fox vs. Zim | Invader Zim

Dio Brando | Jojo's Bizarre Adventure vs. Sasuke Uchiha | Naruto

Yamato | One Piece vs. Roy Mustang | Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

Lemon Grab | Adventure Time vs. Fujimoto | Ponyo

Mizuki | Project Sekai vs. Gomez Addams | Addams Family

3/17/2023:

Arven | Pokemon Scarlet and Violet vs. Reigen | Mob Psycho 100

Pure Vessel | Hollow Knight vs. Lord Shen | Kung Fu Panda 2

Trunks | Dragon Ball vs. Dr. Robotnik | Sonic

Five Pebbles | Rain World vs. The Goblin King | Labyrinth

Turrican OST | Turrican Game vs. Ganon's Corpse | Breath of the Wild 2

Edgar Allen Poe | Bungo Stray Dogs vs. Mollymauk Tealeaf | Critical Role

Dwight Enys | Poldark vs. Will Graham | Hannibal

Scrooge McDuck | Ducktales 2017 vs. Dr. Emmett Brown | Back to the Future

Rohan Kishibe | Jojo's Bizarre Adventure vs. Bilbo Baggins | Hobbit

Micheal Afton | Five Nights At Freddy's vs. Cecil Palmer | Welcome To Nightvale

Carla | Dumbing of Age vs. Larry | Pokemon

Tragedians | Pathologic vs. Zagreus | Hades

Alucard | Castlevania vs. Robin | One Piece

[idedicatethisblogtodestiel]

[periodicbish]

Need more blogs to follow....

...because of boredom... Like or reblog and I'll follow you... or send me blog suggestions if you want to 😊

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

The "I Can 'Pin' Posts on Tumblr Now? Since When?" Intro/Masterpost

Greetings and welcome to the "Who The Fuck Am I?" post written by yours truly, whoever the fuck I am. Now that I'm back on my Fandom bullshit again in at least 2 blogs, I thought I'd re-introduce myself.

I am 2nd gen Korean-American on the Best West Coast. I ID as she/they/shiro, and ace/demi. I'm in the millennial bracket (aka, I am a Legal Adult) so be mindful when interacting with me. I do what I can to be antiracist and am always learning to be better.

I am some iteration of "shirozora" on: LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, AO3, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Discord. My first Fandom 2.0 was political/pundit RPF and my first fandom fallout was Racefail '09, so you could say I've Seen Some Shit. Been 5+ years since I last engaged in actual Fandom, yet here the fuck I am.

Fandoms I have written/drawn for (FFN years do not count, I purged that account): political/pundit RPF, Supernatural, Tron: Legacy, MCU, Star Trek (AOS), Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Final Fantasy XIV, Star Wars/The Mandalorian

A Short List Of Things I Wrote in No Particular Order:

Lost Symphony (T): SPN; Dean/Cassie, Sam/Jessica, pre-Dean/Castiel; for the Racebending Revenge challenge - "Mary Ahn Winchester died on the ceiling of the nursery on November 2, 1983."

We Are Pilots (T+): Tron: Legacy; Sam/Tron; for the Tron Kink Meme - "Six months and Sam still can't shake off his father's ghost, so Quorra suggests returning to the Grid to find the answers he needs to move on."

Wishing Well (T): Captain America: The First Avenger; Steve/Howard, Steve/Peggy, unfulfilled Howard/Peggy/Steve; for the Cap Kink Meme - "And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed / In a wishing well, a wishing well."

A Thousand Eyes Staring Back (T+): Mass Effect 2; Kaiden/m!Shep - "His problems start at Horizon, aka that time Kaidan Alenko was having a really bad day and his former CO was supposed to be dead."

Waking Ghosts (T+): Dragon Age; Dorian Pavus/Male Trevelyan Inquisitor; the Mummy (1999) AU nobody asked for - "Dorian Pavus, formerly of Qarinus, is an archivist at the Magisterium research outpost in Hightown."

Seasons Change (T): Black Panther/MCU; M'Baku/T'Challa - "A fisherman finds a dying king in his nets and Hanuman offers M'Baku an opportunity to repay T'Challa for sparing his life at Warrior Falls."

born in a thunderstorm (T+): Star Trek: AOS, Captain Marvel, Thor: Ragnarok, Guardians of the Galaxy; Kirk/McCoy; the worst AU I ever wrote - "Kevin Riley insists that James Kirk didn't die on Tarsus IV. Nobody believes him."

Dangerous Dreams series (T) - The Storm; The Suns; Between Planets: Star Wars/The Mandalorian; Din/Luke; the reason why I'm writing this post - "To want something for yourself, that is a dangerous dream."

I cross-post and occasionally write about writing at @shirozora-writes. But I bet a bunch of y'all stumbled into my little sandbox through @shirozora-draws, so let's talk about that!

I suffered from artist's block for almost 4 years. That ended when I became utterly fixated on "So Grogu has two dads now - oh no." I fucking ragequit Star Wars after the fucking world lied to me about The Last Jedi* and now I'm doing the most insane and involved fanworks because of Star Wars. The fuck???

To end this unapologetically long-ass Intro Post, here are my 3 favorite recent doodles:

The original post is here. First time animating with Clip Studio Paint and I had a two-day meltdown over it.

The original post is here. Fun fact: the file name is "homoerotic chin tilt yolo". Also, 6.4k notes? You guys are wild.

The original post is here. The final illustration from The Suns.

*I hate The Last Jedi the most not just because it's racist sexist garbage that trashed everyone except Kylo Ren whoever the fuck he thinks he is, and jumpstarted some of the most toxic fandom behavior I had the displeasure of witnessing, but also because I read so much praise for it before walking into the theater, paying for a ticket with my own money, and realizing 5 minutes into the film that I was gonna have the worst time of my life. I can't and probably will never watch Knives Out because I still haven't forgiven the director for the psychological damage. This is 100% a TLJ Hate Zone.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXXIV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Love You

(12x12)

Hi my beautiful friends, I will talk in this meta about the episode in which Case confessed his love. Did he? Or didn't he? Heheh let's see.

Dean Jealous and his contra-macho cool friend reaction

Oh yes, I'm gonna talk about that scene. I saw so many memes because Dean's dimples of discontent were loud. So get this...

MANDY: And how ‘bout you, handsome?

Gif credit @faramaiofnerdwoodforest

Dean's face here can't be taken by other thing than JEALOUSY, he is not amused with that girl throwing heart eyes to Cas. And he shows his dimples of discontent. Not amused at all. So, he post-reaction to this, with his mom on the table and that tough hunter too, he does what society waits for a friend to do when a girl is showing signs of flirtation to one of his friends...

But he overreacts and says a couple of silly things. One of them, Sam won't let go easily.

Gif credit @angvlicmish

This is the lie, because Dean doesn't want to teach Cas to conquer women. But he has to pretend he does. Because he wants to show the supportive friend he is. 'We've been looking for teachable moments' like 'We?' Sam and him? Sammy doesn't look as if he was waiting for this moment, besides, he knows what Dean feels for Cas, so... Dean is almost reaching the ridiculous line in here. Trying so hard to sound one thing, he is not.

Look at this...

SAM: The internet here sucks. I downloaded all the bunker’s files to a new archive, but we’re not getting any signal, so I’m j–

DEAN: [makes snoring noises and pretends to sleep] Nobody cares. Cas, here’s the thing you need to know about waitresses, okay? They get hit on all day long, so you gotta bring your A game. But, upside? [clicks tongue] They always smell like food.

WALLY: [nodding along with Dean, then pointing at him] They always smell like food.

First: Sam immediately changed the subject dragging them to the case and a difficulty he is having to get more info, and Dean! Dean just cut him off! He just can't let a waitress hitting on Cas' alone! Because is VERY IMPORTANT to him, to pretend he is helping him, because he is the waitress experienced friend, and try to low Castiel's expections into venture to do that!

Because... He says 'They always smell like food!" As if that were something sexy!

And Wally is just affirming that premise, and then Sam... Because he was interrupted by his brother's fake show, and because he knows what's the behind the scenes, he engages revengeful ...

SAM: Is that really an upside? They smell like food?

MARY: Okay– okay...

DEAN: Right? It’s great.

SAM: Why would you want them to smell like food?

Dean can't lie to Sam, because Sam knows the truth, he knows Dean is trying to kill every interest Castiel could ever have in hook up with any waitress in the world. Because he is jealous! And I believe Mary noticed that too, and just scolded their boys. Hehehe.

Then this?

Gif credit @angvlicmish

Okay, leaving to a side that his face is out of control, because he really thinks Cas is devastating handsome, he keeps with the cool friend that helps his friend, and the only one believing that story in that table is Wally, because he didn't live the Destiel drama. Dean is pretending like a good, because Wally is there. But Sam know, Mary knows, and even Cas knows.

Gif credit @angvlicmish

Dean is like 'I helped you, buddy, did you like that? I'm a cool friend.' and Cas is like 'Do you really want me to date this female, Dean?' just because the poor guy put so many effort on that. Geez. Dean is a mess... Heheheh.

I Love You

I will try to focus the meta in the 'I love you' scene, because before that, we have a very distressed Dean Winchester trying to save his angel. Dean is nervous, and in denying. Because his head can't process the fact of loosing Castiel for ever. He can't handle that lost, that's why he denies it.

Now, let's go to the famous scene. Did Cas said I Love You to Dean?

Gif credit @angvlicmish

If you rewatch the scene, previous to this confession, Castiel is looking at Dean straight in the eyes, then he drops his gaze and says these words, with a hint of shame.

But Dean's reaction can only been explained as someone who's hearing his best friend saying goodbye and giving up. And also, because in english language, this I LOVE YOU, could be sayed to a singular person of more than one. So, Dean thinks this I Love You was for them (Dean, Sam and Mary) that's why that face, is a face that says : ' Come one man, don't say it, you won't die, this is not the goodbye.'

I know a lot of people thinks Dean's reaction is because he wasn't prepared to receive a love confession, but I don't really think that. He is not prepared to say it. And in this take, he thinks this goodbye confession if for all the Winchesters in that room. Why do I think this? Because his reaction is very different when he sees Cas saying this to Sam and Mary.

Gif set credit @princessknoblauch 👇

Cas averts his eyes to Sam and Mary and Dean's face is of realization here.

He realizes the first I LOVE YOU was for him.

Why would Cas make that difference? Because the meaning are different. Even when he previously confess they are his family, he chooses to look at Dean first a confess one exclusive I love you for him.

Is platonic? Is romantic?

I truly believe is romantic, because there was shame in Cas' face, and he dropped his eyes before saying it. And I think Dean knew this deep inside.

But it could be taken otherwise, that's why it stays like a grey zone between them.

When Crowley comes and saves Castiel, Dean's face of relief is priceless, and there's this little finger touch Cas made over Dean's hand before left his hand go. They were close to be separated, what they don't know is, this is a foreshadow of Castiel's real death at the endo of the season, but also, Dean saying: "Let's go home" is foreshadowing too his own words in episode 13x06, when Castiel comes back to him.

To Conclude:

Episode 12x12 has Jealous!Dean, inside a hilarious scene, but it also has a sad foreshadow of Castiel's death.

Cas said confessed his love for the Winchesters as a family, but it was a special and exclusive confession he made to Dean, because the hint of shame and the dropped gaze, it meant more than just a platonic confession.

Dean's reaction is different to the second confession, because he realizes the first one was just for him.

I really hope you enjoyed this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @nickelkit @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas from season 12, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII.

Buenos Aires, October 18th 2020, 7:35 PM.

[lifblogs]

1, 3, 4, and 5?

1. What are your favorite whump tropes?

Collars, electrocution, captivity, field medicine, manhandling, battlefield whump, near-death, unconsciousness, medical accuracy (I know, fucking weird for whump)

3. Do you prefer whump in the form of writing or visual media?

Gah, I don't know! Both? Both. Both is good. Both make me lose my shit honestly.

4. Do you prefer physical whump or emotional/psychological whump?

Again, both, god damn it!

5. Who is your favorite whumpee?

At this point I don't even know. Last year I would've said Sam Winchester. Of course I lose my shit whenever I see a whump gifset of him, and I swear I can't breathe for five minutes and then totally forgot what I was doing. But I also love Anakin whump, Ezra Bridger... back to Supernatural, I also just adore Jack Kline whump, and Dean whump, and Cas whump, and fuck, Star Wars again... Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, god damn it, everyone! And oh fuck, right now I'm reading The Dresden Files and the Harry whump is making me so ridiculously happy. Hot damn.

WHUMP BLOG ASK MEME

[dotthings]

I recommend reading @occamshipper‘s post here [x] that does a whole lot to further unpack some spn fandom dynamics, beyond what I touched on myself earlier today, but more, discusses the evolving nature of SPN itself. Which got me thinking further (as you do).

With 6 episodes left of SPN left on the clock, it seems like a good time to talk more about my love for this series as a whole, and my perspective on the earliest seasons of SPN vs later seasons. 

I’ve tried to articulate this on various platforms at different times, but it’s sometimes hard to explain, because it’s a dichotomy but not mutually exclusive.

People will make all kinds of assumptions just because I’m expanded cast friendly, because I’m a Cas fan, because I’m ride or die Team Free Will, because I ship Destiel. Some will think but of course I couldn’t possibly have loved S1-2 with a bone deep love, couldn’t possibly have internalized Sam and Dean and relate to them and see my own weaknesses and strengths reflected there, didn’t have 15 years of emotional roller coaster with SPN. Not just 15 seasons, 15 years. I did have to step away a few times and took breaks from it but not years-long, so I have witnessed every stage of fandom and every stage of canon as it unfolded.

Min brought up in her post how earliest SPN started with archetypes. While the characters were also layered characters, they mostly stayed in their archetypal boxes. Not just how they mirrored archetypes of other media SPN has always been a response to (Dean is Han, Sam is Luke and so on) but how they fell into archetypes established of themselves. Early SPN had a start on overturning those self-created archetypes and expectations, a beginning. Dean in particular very quickly turned out to be not what even the show’s creator expected and they ran with it. Kripke created a show he envisioned as being about monster hunts, like Kolchak, like X-Files, and it was Bob Singer who said no brah it’s about the emotional bonds, it’s about the emotional story, that’s our unique hand to play, and whatever issues I have with EP Bob Singer later on, I respect how right he was about that. 

The irony of Dabb era constantly being ripped down and attacked for...being that, simply because it’s not only the brother bond any more. 

One popular negative meme in spn fandom involves complaining SPN isn’t scary any more. True, the style of its horror changed, it changed visually, and I do appreciate the early visual style, but the flip side of that statement is that SPN started out relying on jump scares and mere style for its frights, when even in the earliest seasons it was clear the most horrifying or wrenching moments were going to be emotional. As I said on twitter, over time SPN became an increasingly complex study of its main characters, with escalating moral quandaries, and increasingly a rumination on emotional horror, conquering of inner demons, and most of all the importance of love of all kinds. 

See, the thing is, I really really REALLY loved S1 and 2. No you really can’t even know how much I loved SPN in those seasons. It had a gestalt that cannot be recaptured, and I dove in head-first. The dusty back roads, the intense familial emotional storylines, the haunted houses, the monsters, the dilapidated or forgotten places, the cursed apple orchards, the abandoned buildings, the brothers, the tears. Yes, it’s gorgeous. Let’s light a candle and remember it fondly.

When I rewatch it holds up well enough...it also feels claustrophobic. Limited. Small. So small. Yes still beautiful. But much as I loved the Winchesters and their story and their family already then, a lot of that love is also bleedback because of learning so much more about them. So much more. After that. 

When I rewatch anything before Carver era it feels like that, too small, and I miss the full breadth of what the characters became. I do have some issues with Carver, but he did a lot of great things too. 

By S3 the magic was dwindling for me a little. S3 is when I started to think I was going to just get tired of the show and that was bewildering tbh, because S1-2 were just SO DAMN AMAZING to me. But that’s how it goes sometimes. 

S4 banged the doors open and blew my mind. It wasn’t just Cas’s arrival, but Cas was a herald of it. Cas the most of any member of Sam and Dean’s extended family got the closest to them, could carry stories of his own, and most embodied some of SPN’s biggest themes. But it wasn’t about Cas’s arrival alone.

I thought I knew all SPN was capable of and S4 showed me otherwise and I was a giddy, proud SPN fan about S4. LOOK AT WHAT OUR LITTLE SHOW DID. The canvas got bigger, the character stories got even stronger, more powerful, and more painful. Let’s pedal to the metal and see what she can do.

Season after season and showrunner after showrunner. Even my least favorite showrunner had something more to show me about these characters, something more to learn. (There are a few arcs with every showrunner where I did feel like SPN was spinning its wheels, I’m talking in aggregate, by era, although I don’t love every era the same). 

When I rewatch earliest SPN I miss the Sam and Dean I’ve gotten to know because of course they aren’t there yet, they are just beginning. I have a mirror to that with Cas. When I rewatch S4-6, even parts of Carver era. S4/5 Cas is still exciting. Those are his beginnings, like S1-2 are Sam and Dean’s. But I miss all Cas became. I miss how far he grew. Watching Sam, Dean, Cas on screen while also missing Sam, Dean, Cas. They also don’t feel complete to me without their earliest seasons in my mind to build forward from.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me about the goodness of modern SPN, but they could at least admit that the SPN they loved left the building long ago, eons ago, instead of staying around season after season just to tear down, to hate, to attack. Everything from character development existing as a concept to the basic easy to grok idea that people can love more than one person to *insert repetitive wanking here on how Dabb ruined SPN by utilizing themes SPN has always always had there since the start and took them farther* to just being mad that S15 isn’t S1.  Modern SPN gets torn to shreds for being SPN only stronger with more complexity, more character pov, more emotional unpacking, more and more about family and how family is constructed, and with a rich visual language and use of symbolism that can hold its own with earlier seasons, and it’s just plain fact, this vitriol was  aimed at Carver as well as at Dabb, FYI, and I have my own issues with both of them. 

Is it really REALLY necessary to hate on a show that has always been billed at being about family for being...about family. Really? Do people even go here?? What is UP with that. Season after season of hard core stans preaching “SPN is about family” and now they’re pissed that...SPN is about family. Upteen repetitions of whining about “too soap opera.” As others have pointed out, if you didn’t already figure out that SPN was and is a family soap opera with monsters, there isn’t much help to be had for you. Upteen repetitions of whining that SPN grants redemptive arcs. What show have folks even been watching all these years????? Upteen rages because on a 15 season show characters grow, things change, and S1 and S15 are not the same.

SPN has always been about the characters most of all, it’s always been about the emotions most of all, it’s always been about relationships most of all. 

SPN is not eternally 2 boys in a car shooting monsters in the face on a back road dilapidated barn while those 2 boys repeat their first look archetypal roles, undisturbed in an endless loop. I can recognize how beautiful S1-2 were without discarding all that came after, and I’m realizing more and more how Dabb era is making me reflect over the whole series run, and giving me a new perspective on the long journey of the characters. 

Speaking as a fan who has loved this show since September 2005, but is also intrigued by current storylines, that melding of old and new, of new light shed over the past, while bringing the story forward, moving the characters forward, is also beautiful to me.

[theirmadness]

✧ allie and sam, allie and claire, allie and chuck (give me just fucking everyone blue jesus)

meme status: accepting. meme source: i'll bold all that apply to your muse.

GODDAMN IT KATERS.

sam x alice:

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

claire x alice:

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

chuck x alice:

I would kill you. ✧ I would physically hurt you. ✧ I would attack you unprovoked. ✧ I would manipulate you. ✧ I dislike you. ✧ You annoy me. ✧ You scare me. ✧ You intimidate me. ✧ I hope I intimidate you. ✧ I pity you. ✧ You disgust me. ✧ I hate you. ✧ I’m indifferent toward you. ✧ I’d like to get to know you better. ✧ I’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ I’d like to be friends with you. ✧ I’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ I’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ You are my friend. ✧ You are my best friend. ✧ You are my mentor. ✧ I look up to you. ✧ I respect you. ✧ You are my hero. ✧ You inspire me. ✧ You are my enemy. ✧ You make me happy. ✧ I want to protect you. ✧ I would fight by your side. ✧ I consider you an equal. ✧ I think you are beneath me. ✧ I think you are above me. ✧ I would lie for you. ✧ I would lie to you. ✧ I would sleep with you. ✧ I would sleep by your side. ✧ I would hug you. ✧ I would kiss you. ✧ You are family to me. ✧ I would die for you. ✧ I would kill for you. ✧ I would trust you with my life. ✧ I would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ I would trust you with a secret. ✧ I would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ I love you (platonically). ✧ I love you (romantically).

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 01x06

Skin

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

So we start out with Sam and Dean talking about Sam’s attempts at maintaining contact with his college friends.

Dean: So you lie to them? Sam: No, I just don’t tell them everything Dean: Yeah, that’s called lying.

Interesting … considering how Dean reacts to being lied to in later seasons, it is interesting to note that he kind of has this black and white view of it while Sam is more comfortable telling people what they are comfortable hearing (look back at 01x01 and their different reactions to their dad letting them know about monsters at a very early age) Dean doesn’t like half-truths, even for other’s protections. (Not that he never lies throughout the series, this is another good idea for analysis)

Sam: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? You’re serious? Dean: Look it sucks but, a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

This episode we get to see more of Sam’s focus on people he cares about.

Did Sam really just ask his friend Becky to make them sandwiches?? Wow. (I know that this was to get her out of the room, but this was before “make me a sandwich” became such a big meme. It’s extra funny that they do it again in season 15 (When Deans asks the woman to leave so he can confront the Djinn) but they’re much more self-aware about it)

Dean: “One thing I learned from Dad, not matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there is one sure way to kill it”

Sam: “silver bullet to the heart”

So they have dealt with Shapeshifters before, or at least Dean has. But maybe it was a different kind? One that didn’t shed the way this one does?

 Dean: I hate to say it, but this is exactly what I’m talking about. You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. 

(file under – the queer coding of Sam Winchester)

Ok, I don’t know how much we can rely on the Shifter’s words about how Dean feels but, assuming we can;

Shifter!Dean: You got to go to college … I had to stay home with Dad, you don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me, where the hell where you? … deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends; you could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak, and sooner or later everybody’s gonna leave me.  … You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me too and he left me too. No explanation, nothing just – left me with your sorry ass.

 So, this tells us that Dean did have dreams of his own, that he’s thought about a life away from hunting (contrary to what he tells Lilith in Season 15). It’s also interesting because we usually see the word “freak” applied to Sam, when he realizes he’s psychic, when he gets addicted to demon blood, later when he is defending Jack. But here we see that Dean feels like a freak in his own way. He knows that he can never have a normal life, never be seen as normal by other people, so he doesn’t even try. Sam tries to have friends, tries to give them the portions of himself that they can handle, but Dean knows nobody in the normal world will be able to understand him – how he grew up, what he’s been through – so he doesn’t let anyone get too close.

In 15x07 we learn that Dean did have friends in his 20’s. Hunter friends, but still friends. He hunted with Lee while Sam was in college. So why do we never hear about him? Why doesn’t Dean call him up sometimes, or fondly remember him? (well, realistically because the writers didn’t invent Lee until they wrote season 15) But, there’s a canon reason too. Dean mentions that he thought Lee had died by the time he sees him in 2020. He obviously cared about Lee, enjoyed spending time with him, but he didn’t make the effort to stay in contact, to find out if his friend had lived or died, most likely because he was afraid of losing him. It’s easier to walk away from people than have them walk away from you. In this episode (1x06) we see Dean chooses to stay disconnected from people around him.

Sam needs people, so he adjusts himself to their expectations and their comfort, but Dean would rather have no connection than a partial one, or one that will inevitably end in hurt.

“you mean like a Vulcan mind meld?” (Ok, so Dean canonically watched Star Trek, at least enough to immediately think of this reference. good to know. For reasons) “maybe he needs to keep us alive, for the psychic connection” (Ok, maybe never mind about the shapeshifter in season 13, I don’t know if she would be able to get the thoughts of the deceased loved ones. )

 “maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else.”

Ok, so this line is said by the shifter, as Dean, about the shifter, but I want to talk about how it applies to Sam. Sam Winchester is born human, but he has demon blood. We learn in season 8 that, although he didn’t know about the demon blood or about his psychic abilities until his 20’s, as a child he felt that he was “not clean.” Not only is raised to fight and kill monsters, very unlike a normal kid, he also has this intrinsic sense of … wrongness. Additionally, he has never been encouraged by his father to be himself or to pursue his own interests. He likely doesn’t believe that anything about who he is  is good or worth anything. So, he learns to be something else. He goes to college and tries to leave his entire life behind him. He doesn’t open up about his real life to anyone, not even his girlfriend. He tries to adapt. Fit in, even though he doesn’t fit. Then he goes hunting with Dean, but he won’t tell Dean about his visions, he doesn’t open up to him. He dutifully plays the role of little brother, and hides anything that could cause Dean worry or pain. We see this repeat throughout the seasons, Sam adapting, tucking away parts of himself, letting go of his opinions, his views on things, letting Dean be right. The one time when he doesn’t do this is with Jack. He sees himself in Jack, a scared little boy who is so afraid of being evil, and he can’t watch what happened to him happen to somebody else. He has to step in, speak up on Jack’s behalf. He CAN’T tuck his feelings away this time, because it’s not himself on the line. He doesn’t often stand up for himself, but he will stand up for other people.

 Shifter: All alone, close to no one. All he wants is somebody to love him. He’s like me

Rebecca’s eyes: *THE F*** IS THIS GUY SERIOUS*

SAME Rebecca SAME

EUGH I forgot how gross shifting was.

Ok, well Dean is officially a wanted man. Wow, to go from a few torture/murders to attempting to assassinate the president. He really has beefed up his resume.

The Samulet!! Weird that the shifter took that from Dean and wasn’t able to replicate it … O.O That’s such a good little detail to let us know that it’s important.

Oh, so now Rebecca knows the truth about Sam.

Rebecca: “Will you call us sometime?” Sam: “It might not be for a little while.”

(and she was never heard from again … I imagine because Sam started to realize that Dean was right. It’s easier to stay away from connections. This is also probably a part of his growing guilt, and fear that anyone close to him will be hurt. It is interesting to think … now that she knows the truth and the fake version of him no longer exists in her mind, he doesn’t try to maintain the relationship?)

 DEAN: Sorry, man.

SAM: About what?

DEAN: I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be….Joe College.

SAM: No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.

DEAN: Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak.

SAM: Yeah, thanks.

DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.)

SAM: Yeah, I know you are.

 I know Dean means this as a playful joke, but it’s the first time we see Sam being referred to as “a freak” which will occur much more after this.

[bensbraeden]

@hellcures​  ,    sam meme

“I’m telling you, It’s just better with you around.” / auntie!lana FEELS

jaw clenches slightly,  but admittedly,  the words send a wave of calm over the youngest braeden.     since his arrival in the bunker,  there was a part of him that felt like he was inconveniencing the winchesters and lana.     they already established themselves here,  home to the hunters,  and he can tell that they are their own little family long before ben found them.     and ben has been a pain in the ass lately;  like a bitter teenager lashing out on the people who is the least deserving of it.

“i appreciate it,”     ben admits,  albeit within a soft whisper.     as if any louder,  the others will hear,  and drastically shift their dynamic.     it’s strange,  as ben stands in his room inside the bunker and lana by the door,  it feels like he’s back at a home that he can permanently stay in.     with a poster of one of ben’s favorite band,  and his case files spilled out on the nearby desk,  and the sheets in its usual mess because ben never makes his bed   --   it’s all his.     “this isn’t permanent,”    ben cuts in quickly,  ruining the moment as he always does.       “i just needed a place to crash for a bit,  that’s all.”

[ao3feed-destiel]

Shurley's Divine Creations S.A.

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/357uUxs

by BerenicePyke

"An office is a place where you can improve yourself." Or at least that's what the mega poster, hanging in the main hall, at the entrance of the four-floor building, says. Presumably, nobody believes it, probably not even the Big Boss. Last time Dean checked, none of his colleagues had gotten a raise of salary or a better position. You enter as an intern, you stay an intern for three months and then bye-bye. You enter as a secretary; you stay a secretary until you get tired, and you file a dismissal. As for him, he's entered as customer care, and he's still for seven years. His brother's fault. When his brother blabbed about a job offer at his working place, seven years ago, he thought of trying. It wasn't like Dean had a better job. But guess what? He got stocked in the office, as well as his brother. And now he has to deal with tons of dumbasses coworkers, hours of pure chaos, his ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend and more bullshit. So, no, this isn't a job; it's a goddamn curse!

Words: 2668, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Crowley (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Other Character Tags to Be Added

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Gabriel & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Kelly Kline/Lucifer (Supernatural), Castiel & Chuck Shurley, Gabriel & Lucifer & Michael & Raphael (Supernatural), Balthazar & Castiel (Supernatural), Crowley & Lucifer (Supernatural), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Parent Chuck Shurley, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Michael Does Not Ship Castiel/Dean Winchester, Michael is a Little Shit, Gabriel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Balthazar is Castiel's brother, Shurley is Castiel's family name, and they are rich (because yes), Shurley are one big family, Castiel is the youngest brothers, Smart Dean Winchester, Winchester are dorks, Out of character (not too much, sorry but it's necessary), Please Don't Hate Me, Attempt at Humor, Based on many comedy tv shows, There will be a little angst (cause i'm not a good person), memes and vines references, Pop Culture, Every characters here is silly af, Please Don't Kill Me, Past Relationship(s), Friends With Benefits, Past Dean Winchester/Other(s), Minor Castiel (Supernatural)/Other(s), Minor Dean Winchester/Other(s), Mutual Pining, Comedy, or at least I'll try, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, What Was I Thinking?, My First Work in This Fandom, english isn't my mother language, I'm Sorry, Forgive Me, Not Beta Read, We die like real villains (with lots of shame and full of regrets)

Link: https://ift.tt/357uUxs

[crashdevlin]

Wishverse- Turn Left

Author’s Note: The reboot begins. A big shout out to @bamby0304 for being awesome, helping talk me through some of this stuff and motivating me to make Wishverse happy, fluffy and smutty as all get out!

Summary: Y/n finds herself back in the beginning of November 2018, and she sets to fixing the mistakes she made.

Pairing(s): none yet

Word Count: 1200

Warnings: mentions of prostitution, mentions of non-con, mentions of PTSD, mentions of cheating (all of these things are bare mentions)

You bit your lip and picked up your cell phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, this is Dean. Is this... y/n?” A little gasp escaped your throat. It was him. It was him and he didn't know you and holy shit, how'd this even happen?

“Yes, I am.”

“I got your message and you're in luck: I'm free that week. But since that's a multi-day event you're asking for and you're a new client, we’re gonna have to meet up, make sure you even like me enough to spend a weekend pretending to be head over heels for me, then we can do details and shit. You busy tomorrow?”

You blinked. You weren't sure what you were doing tomorrow. Your tomorrow was almost eight months in the future… but you knew you were free at 2 PM because that's when you met with Sam at Starbucks. “Not for lunch, I'm not. Why don't we meet up at Biggerson's on Cedar Ave, discuss terms over a couple slices of pie? 2 PM?”

“Oh, you said the magic word, sweetheart. I'm definitely into grabbing pie. 2 PM. See ya then.”

“Okay, bye,” you said, telling yourself you were going to earn back ‘princess’ and turning the cell off. You brought up the news. November 2, 2018. You shook your head in amazement. How the hell had this happened? “Charlie!”

The small redhead padded out of her room and into the living room. “So, who'd you pick? I was gonna get you a date with, uh, Dean. Or Sam.”

“Charlie.”

“Yeah?”

“What is today’s date?”

“Uh, the second all day, why?”

You shook your head. “This is unbelievable,” you whispered.

“What is? That you just hired a hooker? I know! It's completely out of character for-”

“Char, do you believe in magic?” you interrupted.

She turned to you, fully, her eyebrows raised. “Is this you telling me you're a witch and the Wizarding World is real, because I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I would take that too well, mostly because I never got my Ilvermorny letter and if magic is real and I ended up a muggle, I'd be so disappointed.”

You shook your head. “I can't do magic, but I think I've had magic done for me.” You took a deep breath. “When I got up this morning, it was Sunday June 30, 2019. At the end of the day, I made a wish to change things and suddenly it's last year.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You don't believe me.”

“I mean… I'm X-Files, but it's kinda farfetched, sweetie.”

You sighed, then smiled as you remembered something. “On Monday, this coming Monday, Roman stock is gonna go through the roof… like a hundred twenty points.. you're going to get an email saying that all supervisors are getting a percentage bonus because of it. It's gonna come out to a nice, even $1337. You're going to make a leet joke because you can't help it, then you're going to say something about how you have been internetting for far too long. After that, I want you to call me, okay?”

“Wow. You're really serious about this.” Her eyes were confused and intrigued and a little bit scared. “What happened in 2019 to make you wish yourself back?”

You shook your head. “I don't want to talk about that until you really believe me, Char.”

“Okay, well, can we talk about how Wish universes never work out? ‘Be careful what you wish for’ is, like, one of the most overused tropes in fantasy fiction.”

“Okay, true. Counterpoint: that's usually some powerful entity trying to teach the protagonist a lesson, to be happy with what they've got, and I honestly can't think of a single way this wish could make my life worse.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah.” You gave a tight smile. “But I can fix it. I turned right last time, but this time I turned left. Like I should have the first time.”

“Is that a Doctor Who reference?”

“Of course it is.”

“Wait.” Charlie's eyes fell on her laptop. “Is this about the hookers?”

“Escorts, and yes. I'll explain everything on Monday.”

“Okay? Well… who’d you pick?”

“I picked Dean this time.”

“And your first time?”

“Sam.”

“Oh, with the monster cock!” You flinched at her words. “You okay?” she asked, worried.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Everything will be fine this time.” You smiled, tightly, and took a deep breath. Charlie studied your face and you could tell she was warring between her rational brain telling her that you had to be fucking with her, and the nine years of friendship telling her that you just weren’t that good of an actor. You grabbed your phone and headed toward your bedroom. “Don’t worry about it, Char. Just forget it ‘til Monday.”

Your face in your mirror caught your attention as you passed your dresser. The vision of you before Sam, before the twenty-five pounds of stress-induced weight loss, before the sunken eyes from the insomnia, before the loss of yourself… it made you realize just how bad things had gotten.

But this time? This time things were gonna be different. Even if you couldn’t get Dean to want you, even if you never spoke to him again, you could get yourself out of the hole you put yourself in because of Sam… and maybe you could get Adam safe, somehow. Even if nothing came from the blank slate except the opportunity to completely distance yourself from the Winchester family after Thanksgiving, to treat them like a chapter in your book that needed to be edited down to almost nothing… if all that came of this wish was one good weekend with Dean and remembering what could’ve been for the rest of your life, you’d be okay with that.

You wanted Dean, of course, and you were going to use the knowledge of the man gained from six months of alternate timeline friendship to get his attention, but if that didn’t work… at least you weren’t stuck with Sam’s cheating junkie ass. You could move on.

As you lied down to sleep, a knock came to the door. “Hey. How do the midterm elections turn out?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, yeah. That’s in a couple days,” you whispered. “Dems take the House, Republicans keep the Senate. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez gets the vote and becomes the youngest woman elected to Congress. Two Muslim women tie for first Muslim congresswomen, Colorado elects the first openly gay governor. The… oh, what’s her name? You were really excited about… uh, Sharice Davids?”

Charlie squealed and slammed open your door. “Kansas elects a Native American lesbian?!”

You chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, and there’s gonna be another pointless recount in Florida that turns into a meme with the ‘What year is this?’ scene from Jumanji.”

“That’s… very specific.” Charlie eyed you suspiciously and back out of your room.

“And Beto O’Rourke loses!”

“You’re crazy! He’s got all kinds of celebrity support!”

“Guess we’ll see on Tuesday!” you called across the apartment. You got comfortable in your bed and looked up at your ceiling. A blank slate. Eight months of knowing what’s coming. A chance to fix everything, to change everything. “Tabula Rasa,” you whispered, closing your eyes.

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