#mel and jon are so funny

[aphemera]

had to draw her pointing like the ace attorney guy

[ladyaryawolf]

Jon tik tok stans are so funny.

U give them a quote pointing Azor Ahai will wake dragon from stones, and they say the quote is not on the books. 🤯

Even when I pointed out the exact chapter it is said.

As it wasn't enough, their best argument is that Mel is not a trust narrator, because she believes it was stannis. Like, the prophecy wasn't even written by her, she is just following her visions.

Now when u ask where are the Dragons Jon woke from stone under the red comet? They DONT ANSWER!

😭🤣🤣

And go with? "Where is Dany light bringer and when did she put a sword on her lover chest? "

The pyre with Drogo, the birth of Drogon, a literal being who breathes fire and is bonded with her?🤣 And where is Jon's nissa nissa and light bringer? Tell me! Where is his flaming sword? Where is the dragon he woke from stone?!

Nowhere to be seen.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ranking all the taskmaster series cos why not lol

no one asked for this but im doing it so......

this is from least to most favourite btw! also i will say there are no series that i dislike at ALL so my least favourite is still a banger of a series it's just... the one i think about the least lol??

also featuring my fav contestant from each series & my fav moment to make this more interesting idkkk

series 3 - rob beckett - rob's accent challenge as part of one of the tasks never fails to make me cry w/ laughter lol

series 6 - liza tarbuck - the 'have fun & then repeat' task where russell does keepy uppys whilst talking about a little old lady 'rubbing herself silly' lol also always enjoy tim's pun outfit cos i nearly always forget what it was so the reveal is always delightful lol!

series 8 - joe thomas - team of 3 doing the bathtub(?) task, can't actually remember but the sibling energy between lou and iain was hysterical (& poor paul just trying to keep everything together lol)

series 14 - fern brady - not actually a funny moment, but i really love the bit in the classical music task where sarah talks about her ex who was horrible about her singing and greg says 'fuck you' to him <3 such a sweet moment that made me legit emotional

series 10 - katherine parkinson - daisy being SO furious as she says it's a HIPPO!!!! also katherine pouring water into a net lol

series 17 - nick mohammed - steve getting jumpscared by the 'mannequin' lol also one of my fav details was nick's reflection being edited out cos he was dressed as dracula lol!! the editors of the show deserve all the love and accolades tbh

series 2 - jon richardson - i feel like i should go with another moment but... it has to be joe's TRAGIC potato throw loss!!!!!

series 18 - rosie jones - every team task w/ rosie and jack lol also i'll be honest, i've only seen this series once so i can't remember a lot of details

series 15 - ivo graham - everyone doing an impression of jenny in a live task lol also every time kiell got mad (this is a common theme on this list i'm realising... i really like when people get annoyed apparently)

series 1 - tim key - watermelon task obviously!! also the flirting w/ fred the swede task

series 4 - mel giedroyc - the reveal of hugh's drawing of the woman (i can't remember her name) cracks me up so much lol also mel & the baby gap!!

series 11 - charlotte ritchie - the absolute chaos of the team of 3 doing the blindfold task, especially charlotte just running around in circles giggling and jamali standing around utterly bemused until the very end lol... also lee, dribbling poppadoms, yelling 'i've got a bafta me!'

series 5 - nish kumar - ~~ always seeing you do cool stuff ~~ also SO many quotable bob moments but we'd need to be here for a week for me to go through all that lol

series 12 - guz khan - wHO THE FUCK IS VERONICA?! (that whole riddle task, the stark difference between the two teams, literally everything guz says it's just incredible) also special mention to the wow monster (which is probably my ult fav live task lol)

series 9 - ed gamble - david doing the spoon task lol... also every single time ed got angry (which was constantly lol)

series 16 - lucy beaumont - the team of 3 hotel task 'lovely legs sir!!' i don't know if i've ever laughed as much at something maybe ever???

series 7 - james acaster - i mean... how do i pick just one? gonna go with a LIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because it was the first thing i ever heard about from the show (thanks to my sister quoting it)... honestly though i wanna list like 200 moments here

series 13 - ardal o'hanlon (the real answer is all of them tho lol) - ardal coming out with three chickens in the duck task and saying 'this is the best i can do'... also every single time alex got annoyed at bridget loool

[kingsmoot]

hi it’s me the Davos guy and it’s fucking wild how the fandom seems to forget his chapters were consistently the worst pre-AFFC, and that’s only because Arys/Areo are barely characters.

Davos is so boring (although I will grant I did enjoy Stannis and Melisandre + the assorted Dragonstone camp, although they’re hardly my favourite part of ASOIAF) and goes through essentially zero development throughout the story. Like we’ve been with him three books now and the most you can say is that he’s lost a bunch of his sons to a king he’s still head over heels for?

I’m going to be honest, I think he’s going to die before say, Victarion despite fandom assertion to the contrary. Guys like Barristan and Vic are set up to have things to do in TWOW/beyond. We know Stannis won’t win, so Davos won’t have anything to do really.

Sorry for the rant lol, I guess I’m just tired of the fandom shitting on Arianne/Vic/Quentyn/Aaron chapters when Davos gets away with being a Camera That Rides just because he’s been here since Clash and he’s like… polite.

ok "camera that rides" is very funny but while i agree that he is less interesting than ari, vic, and aeron i don't think he's a total nothing character

his chapters are dull and idc about his sons that keep getting blown up (he doesn't seem to either since their deaths do nothing to change his loyalties) but i think the purpose of davos is very obvious. we need a perspective on stannis before jon, and we can't ever have a stannis pov since he's a king. a lowborn man raised to knighthood and brutally maimed by him is a great perspective (along with maester cressen) into how the crown has changed stannis. without cressen and davos we would have no insight into who stannis was before the incest conspiracy exposure plot w jon arryn and his bid for the iron throne.

i do think that enjoying the dragonstone plotline means you will get a million more miles out of any davos chapter than me, who is clinging on by the skin of their teeth between salladhor and mel updates, and i agree his chapters get better in affc because more interesting things start happening (treating w the manderlys!!!!!) (my friend knightsickness pointed out yesterday that there are only 3 davos chapters in acok and it threw me for a loop because i thought there were WAY more)

i could very well be limited by my own dash curation since i only follow people who engage primarily w characters i like but idt davos gets that much love on tumblr? people talk about him being gay but not in any way that shows actual investment in his character. he and stannis are definitely in love with one another and they will definitely never fuck, but i've never seen actual engagement with davos as his own person. perhaps i am just totally out of the loop on the actual serious stavos girlies!! this is likely since i do not seek that content out!! but davos to me feels like a character that is more/most beloved on other platforms/with other audiences.

[sleepythug]

Tr*mp appointing Jon Voight, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester Stallone as "Ambassadors to Hollywood" (whatever that means) is very funny, like yes we've totally got the finger on the pulse of the culture. Appointing three actors who have had no significant impact on the greater American cinematic landscape whasoever in the past 15 years.

Jon Voight, hasn't been in anything worth a damn in 20 years, Mel Gibson, an actor who's quite good, charismatic and could have been in great stuff still, but has lampooned any sort credibility because he's also a raging anti-semite, also hasn't been a "star" in years lmfao, and Sly Stallone, maybe the most credible of the three yet has no pull like he once did, and also, like the other two, couldn't sell a movie on his name anymore, not unless it's some bullshit "streaming movie" marketed specifically for dads.

I think it's hilarious the infatuation conservatives have with Hollywood, like what's your angle? what is the ideal American cinema? what is the so-called "golden age of hollywood" lmfao? I don't think Hollywood is failing or art is bad because of a certain kind of politicking it's because of a prioritization of profit, and straying farther from creating things for the sake of creating new cultural artifacts. None of these people have any vested interest in trying to develop better films, or lasting art.

[jon-sedai]

There’s something weird I never noticed before. So in ASOS, Stannis tells Davos that he saw the upcoming battle against the Others in one of Melisandre’s fires.

The ashes were white, rising in the updraft, yet all at once it seemed as if they were falling. Snow, I thought. Then the sparks in the air seemed to circle, to become a ring of torches, and I was looking through the fire down on some high hill in a forest. The cinders had become men in black behind the torches, and there were shapes moving through the snow. For all the heat of the fire, I felt a cold so terrible I shivered, and when I did the sight was gone, the fire but a fire once again. But what I saw was real, I’d stake my kingdom on it.

- Davos IV, ASOS

The “men in black behind torches” seems to suggest Night’s Watchment who are in the process of confronting the Others (“shapes moving through the snow”). I think it’s quite interesting that there is a sort of Azor Ahai imagery with these men, as they hold burning torches.

But then as I was reading this passage, I was suddenly reminded of one of Patchface’s jingles.

“Under the sea, it snows up,” said the fool, “and the rain is dry as bone. I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.”

- Prologue, ACOK

And I got to thinking, it seems that Patchface and Stannis are seeing the same thing (snow “falling” upward). Stannis also sees snow falling downwards, which kind of evokes a cycle. We don’t really know exactly what Patchface saw since the entire section contains several broken up and vague “prophecies”.

But regarding what we do know, my initial assumption was that Patchface’s jingle was essentially about death and the rising of wights. But then I also considered that he could also be referring to Jon Snow who seemingly dies at the end of ADWD and might be resurrected in TWOW.

They found Her Grace sewing by the fire, whilst her fool danced about to music only he could hear, the cowbells on his antlers clanging. “The crow, the crow,” Patchface cried when he saw Jon. “Under the sea the crows are white as snow, I know, I know, oh, oh, oh.” Princess Shireen was curled up in a window seat, her hood drawn up to hide the worst of the greyscale that had disfigured her face.

- Jon XI, ADWD

P.S: Coincidentally, Jon would (more generally) be among the men in black presented in Stannis’ vision since he is a member of the Night’s Watch; these men are also referred to as crows.

And speaking of Jon, we know that Melisandre has received visions of Jon’s death and possible rebirth.

The flames crackled softly, and in their crackling she heard the whispered name Jon Snow. His long face floated before her, limned in tongues of red and orange, appearing and disappearing again, a shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain. Now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again. But the skulls were here as well, the skulls were all around him. Melisandre had seen his danger before, had tried to warn the boy of it. Enemies all around him, daggers in the dark. He would not listen.

[…]

“What do you see, my lady?” the boy asked, softly. Skulls. A thousand skulls, and the bastard boy again. Jon Snow.

[…]

Yet now she could not even seem to find her king. I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R’hllor shows me only Snow.

- Melisandre I, ADWD

So Mel is seeing Jon in danger, but the “now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again” seems to suggest that he will return. She has tried to rely this information to Jon and we get a rather funny exchange, where Jon assumes that the “snow” Mel is talking about is frozen rain.

“And what of Mance? Is he lost as well? What do your fires show?”

“The same, I fear. Only snow.”

Snow. It was snowing heavily to the south, Jon knew. Only two days’ ride from here, the kingsroad was said to be impassable. Melisandre knows that too. And to the east, a savage storm was raging on the Bay of Seals. At last report, the ragtag fleet they had assembled to rescue the free folk from Hardhome still huddled at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, confined to port by the rough seas. “You are seeing cinders dancing in the updraft.”

- Jon X, ADWD

Note: I searched “updraft” and got this definition: “an upward current of air.”

Jon thinks Mel is talking about the very literal snow moving upward(?) in the air, but she says,

“I am seeing skulls. And you. I see your face every time I look into the flames. The danger that I warned you of grows very close now.”

Not snow, but Snow.

And just a final (random) thought to wrap this all up,

“One bird croaking my name was bad enough,” said Jon, “and snow’s nothing a black brother wants to hear about.” Snow often meant death in the north.

- Jon II, ACOK

Hmmm 🤔



[greywoe]

sketches sketches sketches

got inspired by looking at some of those year end wips (by artists way better than me) and decided to post some old sketches i could find bc sometimes i enjoy the sketches more than the final illustration lol. so without further ado:

similar to the one of jon i posted above, here's a really ancient one of arya. don't know where i was going with this one i think it was just a doodle

here's a progress pic of the sansa collage i posted way back that looks godawful to me now but whatever. hashtag behind the scenes

i made a whole bunch of collages that i never got around to posting (i should). here's a progress pic of one of those (as you can see i colour the necessary bits first, then add the cutouts, then the final lineart):

and here's a screenshot i took in the middle of drawing the cat and brienne scene. i actually think i overworked it a little, i liked it better with flats (also the colours look like ass here, they always look more vibrant in procreate but when i export the pics they end up super desaturated. idk why)

NOW to the fun part! so when i first read the books way back i had this notebook that i doodled scenes that i liked or made an impact on me (i guess) in. i might or might not post some in the future - they're simple pencil doodles and super old and certified rubbish but they're still kinda funny because of that lol. in any case here are a few of them in the rough sketch stage:

arya and gendry playfighting at acorn hall, mel visiting davos in jail (LMAO)

jon and ygritte first meeting (you can barely tell what's going on there at all lol). sandor and beric fight

Ok so now it's theon time. in that drawing i made of him with reek!ramsay in acok i initially yassified his crown and had to stop when i remembered it's supposed to be shit.

"crown" (it does look a little like worms at this stage so i guess it's not so ill-fitting after all)

uhh anyway you all know what this next one is about. love this delusional child <3 (might just refine it to make it post-worthy so look forward to that i guess...........)

and finally the Tree drawing but it's just the lineart bc my colouring skills are... lacking

[swanmaids]

Ygritte/Jon Show for the ask meme?

awww...kids... I like them. Ygritte's little "WE FUCK EVERY NIGHT!!!" moment was so funny and her death did make me get teary. I also appreciate how Jon continues to think of her throughout the series, like comparing Mel to her. Would they have worked out long term? No idea, but they made me feel things while they lasted.

[mashitandsmashit]

AGT Fantasy League: Preliminaries 1

Happy New Year, everybody! And welcome to yet another spinoff season!

Once again, a bunch of old favorites are being brought back to compete...A lot of them have already done previous spin-off seasons...And I'll admit, I'm starting to get a little bored of all of them...

...Well...I guess the crossover of all these acts is still pretty exciting...But I kinda feel like we've seen almost everything we could from most of them (at least as contestants on this show...)

Now we got the new twist where they're all on different teams led by each of the judges, and the judges each give their respective acts "coaching"...which so far, just seems like generic words of encouragement, or pointless pointers that we don't really see them utilizing...

Mel B. is back...And so far, she seems to have mellowed out a bit...But she probably just needs more time to get back into the swing of things before returning to her old, obnoxious self...Though obviously, the audience wouldn't be pleased without the occasional splashing Simon with water bit...

As for what I hope for this season...Well, I'd actually love it if the winner of this season was someone who hasn't competed on the American stage yet...So far, Musa Motha looks like the ideal candidate...Of course, this game has obviously been decided weeks, or even months ago, and I can't read the results. (My references are gonna be limited again for this season, so you'll have to bear with me...)

So let's waste no more time, and get right into the talent of Week 1...

10: Hans. Welp...The bitch is back! Hans will always be one of my guilty pleasures, but considering who he's up against in this line-up, he's obviously not winning the novelty votes that got him into the Finals the last time he competed...Also, it could have used more accordion, and where was the obligatory chair splits!? (Maybe he's getting too old to do that anymore...)

9: Maria Seiren. The one performer in this line-up that I haven't seen before...Basically, it's Marcelito Pomoy, but more over-the-top...The rapid switching of registers was new, but I think I could have used more female-register...Kudos to her winning JGT, but it's a little goofy for my taste...

8: Jon Dorenbos. Arguably the most charismatic magician ever to compete on this show (except maybe Piff...who we'll be seeing later...) It certainly helps with an otherwise pretty run-of-the-mill magic trick...

7: Tape Face. Sadly, and I've said this a couple times in the past, not his best material...But it IS interesting how he could both troll Simon AND stroke his ego at the same time by making him think the audience was applauding HIM and not the Tapester's little trick with the ball-in-a-cup...Still would have loved to see him make the next round...

6: Kristy Sellars. It's funny how quickly I've gone from rooting for Kristy to finding her somewhat overrated, but I can't deny that she utilizes both the pole and the screen quite effectively, and comes up with some fun visuals...(And on that note, this trailer for the new "Red Riding Hood" movie is looking hella-dope!)

5: Kseniya Simonova. Well, she lost Mel...But she didn't lose her voter base from the "Champions" season...And she did add a few new visuals in there, particularly with the phone, and her son appearing in the space it creates...Didn't blow me away like before, but it's still fascinating to watch her draw all these images with such speed and elegance...(Also, she looks pretty damn good for the mother of a fully-grown astronaut!)

4: Shadow Ace. Pretty much Kseniya's comedic counterpart...Some of the visuals are starting to get a bit repetitive, but he still manages to find a few new things to mix it up a bit (particularly the utilization of Howie's dome...) With the "Superfans" putting through acts that have already made at least the Top 3 of previous seasons, it's nice to see them also put through an act that got taken out too early last year...

3: V.Unbeatable. Well, HERE'S a first! V.Unbeatable is not my #1 for once...It's not even that they were disappointing or anything...I just kinda know what to expect from them by now! And as much as I hate to admit it...I think the Warrior Squad from last season might have topped them...Though to be fair, they seemed to have an advantage with more dancers...Nonetheless, I still love this act to death, and am definitely happy (if not the least bit surprised) that they advanced...

2: Billy & Emily England. Watching Mel pass up on giving Kseniya, V.Unbeatable, and even Maria the GB, I couldn't help but wonder, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?" It seemed odd to think she might give it to these two, considering how repetitive their tricks got over time...I didn't even think they WOULD give us anything new...And for the first chunk of the act, they didn't...Then they donned the flaming knives! It may not be a WHOLE lot, but they were one of the only two acts here to give us something legitimately different! (I mean, it's not like they could have done the beard thing again, since Billy appears to have trimmed it down to a still-handsome, but not-so-grippable length...)

1: Kodi Lee. Out of everyone in this line-up, Kodi Lee certainly wasn't the LAST act I was expecting to be my absolute favorite...But he WAS lower in my initial rooting-for ranking...That said, he was the one performer tonight who REALLY stepped up his game, with a legitimately nicely-written original song...I didn't think he had it in him, as a man with a condition that keeps him from forming full sentences...But this shall serve as a fine lesson not to underestimate the autist artists! They really are much smarter than you might think! I guess the song DID sound pretty Imagine-Dragons-esque, and I can already see Aidan Bryant swinging in the air to it (maybe not next week, but in one of the later rounds, as I have no doubt he'll be a front-runner once again). But those are by no means strikes AGAINST him...In the end, Kodi has managed to win the night!

Not a bad start...Almost all of these acts have gotten high scores from me in the past (the only exception being the one I'm NOT familiar with). So it's a pretty solid line-up...Still, I'm just starting to feel desensitized to this whole thing...

Oh well...No real complaints with the results so far...But Howie definitely seems to have a solid team, especially considering all of his acts so far have made the next round, and he didn't even have to lose any of them to Mel's GB...

Like I said, I saw Aidan Bryant in the preview for next week, as well as the Ramadhani Brothers, Sheldon Riley, and that naked Japanese guy from a few seasons back...And I guess one or two others, but I forget who...We'll see who else is there, which judge gets the GB, and who they use it on...

See you then!

[zirhlikuzgun]

Mr. Schüster at the police station

All right, everyone. It is time to start up an all-new reboot of "Sean and Dave's new maintenance".

Mr. Schüster

Before we get on with the show, i will first of all have something to explain:

NOTE: At that case, the Dolph gang are apparently doing some random stuff, by watching "Driving Ib and Ib, "The Triss team's sitcom show", "Parody adventures with Luffe and Sjanne", "The Angora guys by night", and "Livestream commentary with Fritz and Poul (ft. Dr. Flitz)".

Well, there you go. I had now already explained this note, but however, we're not ready yet, cause i have 2 more notes that i shall explain:

ADDITIONAL NOTE #1: "Sean and Dave's new maintenance" are going to take place after the events of "January Robinson Uncork'd" (including the hero-brave sad-to-fab quest thru the hero-brave journey from sad to fab), cause it are going to borrow some style of the Case Closed anime.

ADDITIONAL NOTE #2: "Sean and Dave's new maintenance" are going to begin after the aftermath of Shalim's unfortunate death, cause it are going to borrow some style of The MEDIA Programme of the European Union.

Now, there we go again. I had already explained these two notes, but we're still not ready yet, cause i need to explain 18 extra notes, so i gotta explain it at that case:

EXTRA NOTE #1: Mr. Müller are an mailman who are going to work at Österreichische Post AG.

EXTRA NOTE #2: Mr. Schüster are an police officer who are going to work at the Austrian Federal Police.

EXTRA NOTE #3: Mrs. Prysselius are an orphanage ownever who are responsible of managing an orphanage.

EXTRA NOTE #4: The Swedbank crew are responsible for working at Swedbank.

EXTRA NOTE #5: The Deutsche Bank crew are responsible for working at Deutsche Bank.

EXTRA NOTE #6: Ib and Ib are going to broadcasting their own comedy show, though taking a driving trip with their car.

EXTRA NOTE #7: The Triss team are going to broadcast their own comedy sitcom.

EXTRA NOTE #8: Luffe and Sjanne are going to broadcast their own comedy show, though doing some funny parodies, by checking out some serious stuff: for example reading funny-signs, and even many more of some kind of serious.

EXTRA NOTE #9: The Angora guys are going to broadcast their own prime show, though being home at their flat, by discovering something awesome.

EXTRA NOTE #10: Fritz and Poul (from the Cavalry) (alongside Dr. Flitz) are going to produce their own satire.

EXTRA NOTE #11: Kling and Klang are two wacky cops who are Mr. Schüster's crazy allies, cause they're also gonna work at the Austrian Federal Police.

EXTRA NOTE #12: Else-Marie are going to pay attention at Mr. Schüster's police station, cause she eventually gets help of her mother and her dad named Beck.

EXTRA NOTE #13: Mr. Schüster's seven friendly allies (although they're ironically remaining unnamed) are going to be responsible of resolving the issue.

EXTRA NOTE #14: Mr. Krüse and Mr. Meyer are going to be responsible of requiring something very important.

EXTRA NOTE #15: Gary Gadget are going to be responsible of repairing something that are getting broken.

EXTRA NOTE #16: Freddy Derrick are going to be responsible of resolving some problems thru performing extensive troubleshooting.

EXTRA NOTE #17: Svante Stockselius, Jon Ola Sand and Martin Österdahl are going to work as executive supervisors at the EBU.

EXTRA NOTE #18: Graham Norton, Terry Wogan (despite that he had ironically passed away), Scott Mills, Paddy O'Connell, Sarah Cawood, Sara Cox, Caroline Flack, Ana Matronic, Laura Whitmore, Mel Giedroyc, Rylan Clark-Neal and Chelcee Grimes are going to work as BBC's radio and TV celebrities.

All right. Here you have these 18 extra notes. We're now ready to get this show on the road, so without further ado, let's get into business.

At first, we're going to meet Ib and Ib. Ib and Ib are two comedians who are driving the car, by doing some funny jokes and funny pranks, cause they're just getting started.

We're then meeting the Triss team. The Triss team are a gang of some funny comedians, and they're living home at their flat, cause they're broadcasting their own comedy sitcom, by doing some funny gags, as well as some funny jokes and funny pranks, so they gotta right now get this show on the road.

Next up, we're going to meet Luffe and Sjanne. Luffe and Sjanne are two crazy, wacky pranksters that are doing some crazy, wacky stuff, as well as some crazy jokes and crazy pranks. They're getting a cool time at their flat, and they're sometimes going on a trip of doing some funny, crazy stuff, though exploring some serious things, but anyway, they will now get started today.

At next, we're going to meet the Angora guys. The Angora guys are a gang of some wacky comedians who are home at their flat, cause they're checking out some funny things and stuff, cause they're always responsible of broadcasting their own comedy show. Well, by the way, they're right now turning on the camera, cause the Angora guys are on the stage.

Coming up next, we're gonna meet Fritz, Poul and their sockpuppet Dr. Flitz. Fritz and Poul are two multi-millionaires who are plotting some cheeky cool stuff that they can exactly do anything at anytime that they want to. They're teaming up with a sockpuppet named Dr. Flitz, who are almost resembling a mole, and he does a similar vein to Dolph and Margit. Well anyway, Fritz, Poul and Dr. Flitz are going to produce their own comedy satire, so now, anyways, that's enough with the set, so let's get it started.

However, before we're going to start "Sean and Dave's new maintenance", we're first of all making way for the Dolph gang, cause they're gonna handle the task of carrying their attitude.

?.[Unnamed title]

We'll there you go. We had now got it together with the Dolph gang, so we will right now get into the regular show. Well then, without further ado, let's give a warm welcome to Mr. Müller. Mr. Müller are making his first appearance at the very beginning of "Sean and Dave's new maintenance", cause he's coming here to say hello.

So now we're going to encounter Mr. Müller. Mr. Müller are an mailman who works at Österreichische Post AG, and are always responsible of delivering posts, mails, packs, presents and much more for everyone. Well by the way, Mr. Müller are apparently deciding to do something different, cause he's going to start a brand new day at Österreichische Post AG. Well that's because, Mr. Müller are going to re-sign back to Österreichische Post AG. So, Yup, that's a good idea, cause Mr. Müller are going to reopen the post office in Vienna, cause it is today a new day at Österreichische Post AG. Well anyway, without further ado, we gotta get started, cause Mr. Müller are ready to get started for a new day at Österreichische Post AG. Well due to that, he are eventually beginning a new day at Österreichische Post AG, so we gotta get started immediately. Okay, it sounds like a good idea. Well indeed, Mr. Müller are ready to get started at Österreichische Post AG, so for now, without further ado, Mr. Müller are ready to begin a new day at Österreichische Post AG. Oh well, it is normally all about "Sean and Dave's new maintenance", cause it are about to begin. Anyways, "Sean and Dave's new maintenance" are about to begin right now. Well of course, it is time to get the adventure started, so by that, it is time to let "Sean and Dave's new maintenance" begin.

But first of all, at the very beginning, we're first going to meet Mr. Schüster who are going to get started at the police station. Well by the way, he are eventually joining up with the Anti ROM-Hacking Forces, cause Mr. Schüster are getting a video-call with Mrs. Prysselius who will always be able to manage the orphanage. But anyway, without further ado, let's get started.

Well now, eitherway, we're right now going to get on with the regular program, so for now, we gotta ahead and get it started. Now of course as you guessed it, "Sean and Dave's new maintenance" are about to begin. Are you ready? Yes, you do. Well then. Here we go!

[celiastjamesoscar]

Lol sometimes I have no filter. With "money I stole" I mean I got it from my brother, who I cut out of my life 2 or 3 years ago because he's a big asshole. So it's fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ I see it as compensation for the shit he did.

On January 9th I have a job interview and it's both exciting and terrifying. With your tattoo it seems like forever but for me it feels like the dates are right around the corner.

OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING!!! How did you like it?? What do you think about Chanel and her minions? Who is your favorite?

I'm already excited for more Jon stories next semester!! He better keep up the great work and entertain us! Yes Grace, I love your fashion sense now! Your shirts are funny, you definitely need to show me more of your collection.

Well, another night another dream. This time a rollercoaster derailed and many people died in different ways. I barely survived and nearly drowned. Turns out it was planned by 2 people who purposely created a death amusement park. Maybe I should start writing horror movies...

Here are the last 2 Mel/Sam edits I saved. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGedHvnE6/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGedTp3L3/

I’m sorry about your brother, but sometimes it’s best to cut people out of our lives because of how shitty they are, so I get it

Good luck with your job interview love!! You’ll have to let me know how it goes!

…I still haven’t finished it yet, please don’t yell at me. I’m the worst when it comes to sitting down and finishing things

Oh trust me, Jon will definitely keep up his evil antics, and I will continue to tell you about them. My collection of funny shirts ends at the slut shirt and the naked bigger guy, or maybe I’m keeping them from you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your dreams need to be investigated 😭 for some reason it sounds to me like a final destination movie, even though I’ve only seen the first movie

THE SECOND TIKTOK IS UNAVAILABLE!!! THIS IS EVIL

[herbgroom]

@whyareweherereally arrghh look at what you have done!!! unstoppable rant incoming!

so, the history of king crimson doesn't start with king crimson at all - but with two brothers, peter giles and michael giles living in dorset, england, who in 1967 start looking for a singing organist to join their group. they post an ad, and who responds? robert fripp, a guitarist who can't sing one bit! they form a psychedelic trio (as it was common at the time) under the name "giles, giles and fripp" (very original) and record their first and only album "the cheerful Insanity of giles, giles and fripp" (they were just so good at names)

they get fairly decent success, and recruit ian mcdonald on keyboards and wind instruments, who brings along a lyricist, peter sinfield (remember them)

fripp thinks that peter giles' songs are too poppy and boring, and proposes to fire him in place of greg lake, an old friend he learned to play guitar with (from a banjo player!)

so now we have a band with robert fripp (guitar) greg lake (bass and voice, although he had to be convinced to play bass as he was primarily a guitarist) ian mcdonald (wind instruments, synthesisers, and the beloved mellotron) mike giles (drums) and pete sinfield (lyrics and pet hippy, his words not mine) who are all an ambitious bunch, what they want to do is play something no one has ever done before

peter suggests the name king crimson, and the band is born! in 1969, they make their first album, in the court of the crimson king, play it in front of 500k people in hyde park who were there to see the rolling stones, and everyone loses their fucking minds! the album is H U G E. even pete townshend of the who writes a review gushing all over the album. inadvertently, they have launched the genre progressive rock.

so what happens next? the band breaks up. literally. after one album, mike and ian decide to leave, thinking the band is getting nowhere. greg too decides to leave, he's been seduced by a certain keith emerson of the nice to form a new, fresh trio, along with a guy called carl palmer, formerly of atomic rooster

the only ones remaining are pete and robert, in 1970, on the next album in the wake of poseidon, greg and mike are only there to play as session musicians, the new guys to join the band are mel collins (sax, flute, anything you can blow into) keith tippett (piano) and gordon huskell (who briefly sings on cadence and cascade) after that, the past members scuttle to do their own thing (mike and ian would record an album together, mcdonald & giles, while ELP would be on their way to become REALLY FUCKING HUGE)

in the same year the album lizard comes out, which even features jon anderson from the band yes! there's a funny story about that too, but let's not digress...

a year later the band releases islands, the new additions are ian wallace (drums) and boz burrell (bass and voice)

mind you, in this time, pete sinfield is in charge of all lyrics, while robert (and the others ig) handle the music

after an exhausting tour in the us, the parents co-founders, pete and robert, have a falling off. a line is drawn, one of them has to go. pete leaves, robert breaks up the band

in 1972, robert, after some other business ventures (mainly producing and playing on van der graaf generator's albums, and playing inventor with brian eno) starts gathering ideas, and new members, for king crimson 2.0. this time, he's looking to move completely away from the old sound, and focusing on something harder, punchier. the guys who join are john wetton (bass and voice, formerly of family and renaissance) bill bruford (drums, formerly of yes) david cross (violin and mellotron) and jamie muir (additional drums and other weird stuff, formerly of scotland)

their first album, lark's tongues in aspic, is a complete game changer. the new sound of king crimson is born.

after literally two live shows in october of 1972, jamie sprains his ankle and decides to leave the band, to become a buddhist monk instead (as you do)

the rest of the quartet tour extensively, so much that their 73 album starless and bible black is mostly live songs transposed to studio

but it can't all go so smoothly can it? no, it can't. david's violin is too soft compared to the strong strings and drums section of the others, his personality too, he's more reserved and quiet. robert fripp (convinced by john) decides to fire him, but only after the tour is done and they start recording their new album

in 1974 the album red comes out, their darkest and heaviest album yet, which only features robert, bill, and john

in this time, the appointed lyricist is richard palmer james, the band does the music

after that, robert has a literal mental breakdown. convinced that the world is going to end, he breaks up the band for good.

let's do a timeskip, during which bill and john decide to put together a prog-pop band called uk, robert stays in a cult and then works with peter gabriel and david bowie, (ever listened to heroes? that's his playing on there!) bill ends up doing jazz and john forms a mega arena pop band with carl palmer (remember him?) and steve howe (yes)

it's the 80s, and in lack of better things to do, robert wants to form king crimson again, again with a brand new sound and brand new people. although he calls back bill (who's more than eager to join!) along with new recruits tony levin (bass, formerly a musician for peter gabriel) (yes, robert stole his bassist) and adrian belew (guitar, the first american in king crimson! a disciple of frank zappa and a pal of talking heads)

their first album, the '81 discipline, is a huge success! and completely different from any music that is going around during that period! it's fun, playful, but also heavy, almost neurotic

it's quickly followed up by beat (1982) and after a lot of touring, three of a perfect pair (1984)

during this time adrian writes the lyrics, while the band, collectively, does the music

the album covers are iconic too, solid colors of red, blue and yellow. they really pop out!

after that, lo and behold, fripp breaks up the band. out of fatigue and stress

you have to wait for the 90s for a new iteration of king crimson, but those albums are bad and I don't really care for them <3

the end

ps: these are all the records I own, practically all of them (except the 72 live album earthbound)

Not an ask but you've reminded me how much I like king crimson so thank you :)

I'm really glad to hear this but also don't, this triggers a tangent in me none of us can stop

[eyefocusing]

reread some 2009 supers comics again.... thinking abt Them

[15-lizards]

ASOIAF American highschool AU bc I want them to suffer

-Jon is that guy you see in the hall all the time and he’s super cute but then you talk to him and he’s just. The most pretentious asshole you’ve ever met. He’s better than you bc he takes AP classes btw. And he’s on the basketball team but he’s brooding so he barely has any friends

-Dany is a little FREAK ugh I love her. She’s a GSA officer and wears weird clothes and cat ears to school and everyone makes fun of her but she’s the nicest person ever. Very passionate ab her special interests. super smart too like no one can say that she isn’t top of class

-Sansa is the nice popular religious girl who likes to make cookies for people. She’s like condescending nice though and is sweet to the losers mostly out of pity. Obsessed with Loras in a comphet way to cover her real crush on Margaery. She is on the swim team and loves to run the student council like the navy

-Arya is on the soccer and basketball team. Slightly to weird to be popular but too cool to be a loser. Kind of disruptive in class but it’s okay bc she’s funny. Definition of a low maintenance girl. Cuts her hair short and likes the way she looks in a sports bra and baggy clothes but has yet to find out what non-binary is

-Robb Homecoming King football captain you get the gist. Sincerely nice and is the one jock who’s on good terms with literally everyone in his classes. Tries his best to defend Jon (it is so hard) Has dated around but his most intense relationship is with his drug dealer burnout bestie Theon. They get jealous when the other starts dating a girl (both of them have yet to find out what bisexualism is)

-Joffrey is a grade A bitchass. He’s on the soccer or lacrosse team only because Cersei bribed the coach. No one really likes him but they hang around him anyway because he has a sick ass house and his moms hot. Thinks he’s smarter than he actually is, maintains a C- average

-Bran is that freshman you only see in khaki shorts and graphic t-shirts about bugs or some shit. Completely lives in his own world (autism slay!) and has trouble interacting with other kids. Besties with Meera and Jojen tho who just get him. Reads big ass philosophy books in his spare time

-Aegon is Dany’s cooler cousin. He’s way more popular than Jon and the two have a one sided rivalry that Jon made up in his head. Pretty nice to other people but he thinks he is such hot shit. His superiority complex is kinda crazy

-Theon graduated last year but still hangs around campus. Goes to Robb’s football games and sells drugs under the stands. “Where’s my hug at” guy. Drives a beat up Honda civic that’s on its last legs. Has multiple misdemeanors on his record. Robb thinks he can fix him

-Loras is Robb’s teammate who’s also mister popular. Already has a scholarship to a D1 school and is every teachers favorite (he takes advantage of this to skip class). Smart but doesn’t really try that hard in class. A classic DL gay guy who is in a situationship with grad student Renly after lying about his age on grindr

-Davos is everyone’s favorite History or English teacher. Gets invested in the students wellbeing. Gay kids LOVE him, he never can have a lunch period to himself those kids who are looking for a father figure are always eating lunch in his classroom. Has a loving wife and kids but is down bad for the eternally suffering Vice Principal Stannis

-Robert is the football coach and in most American schools you have to be a teacher to be a coach so he probably teaches health or sex Ed or some shit. Half asses his classes so he can go over film with his football players instead. You can hear him yelling from across campus. He is so loud

-Stannis is the vice principal who absolutely no one likes except Davos. Even the teachers don’t respect him. Has wanted to be principal for years but keeps getting fucked over by administration. Wants to move to a different school district so he can get a pay raise but the sexy Spanish teacher Mel is trying to convince him to blackmail the school board instead

-Tywin the principal. Used to be a AP US history or AP economics teacher but then discovered that he hated kids so he bullied and bribed his way into the principal position. Kids run when they hear him in the hallway with his walkie talkie crackling and his keys jangling. Lets Joffrey get away with everything bc he’s the principals grandson

-Cersei as the head of the school board. Always shoveling funds to her kids school instead of any of the other ones in the school district. Probably is in some sort of tax evasion or bribery scandal that Tywin is trying to cover up. Number one passive aggressive hater on Facebook

[moonsdancer]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass it to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Oooh, cool!

This exercise was funny because I made myself revisit old, old fic lol. It's crazy how one's writing develops. I forced myself to only pick one per fandom. Anyway, here we go:

5. we survive; we always survive (a dark comedy) | Bonnie Bennett/Caroline Forbes/Elena Gilbert | a zombie apocalypse poly romance bc why not

Extract:

They slept curled around each other.

As the least violent sleeper and the warmest of the three, Bonnie often found herself stuck in the middle. Her arms wrapped around her two friends as if they were all three drowning, and by sheer force of will, she might be able to keep them afloat with the strength of her arms. Caroline was a snuggler. She burrowed into any crevice she could find. Her favourite spot was Bonnie’s shoulder, right near where her pulse thrummed with the sweet scent of blood; it reminded her vaguely of pop tarts. Elena was a clinger. She clutched Bonnie’s hand in a claw-like grip that didn’t let up even in the deepest parts of the night, almost as though she was afraid they’d all disappear. Sometimes it hurt, made Bonnie grunt, “Ow, vampire strength, ‘Lena,” and she loosened her tight-wound fingers—but not by much.

4. if i’m lost then how can i find myself? | Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood | Shadowhunters | pre-relationship, Alec & touch starvation (before the show pissed me off as these shows do)

Extract:

It’s funny. But Alec doesn’t feel like a soldier when Magnus touches him, stuck in a centuries-old supernatural war they're not winning. He doesn’t feel like a blunt instrument to be thrown at the Clave for some unseemly purpose or like something to be patched up after a bloody battle.  

He’s just Alec, and Magnus Bane’s fingers are stroking the side of his jaw. Everything in his life feels like it could blow up in his face at any moment. But this, a hand on his cheek is nice. It makes him feel grounded and like he could float at once.

3. you're so (not) my type | Josie Mccoy/Reggie Mantle | Riverdale | 180 seconds of screen time and these two had me obsessed, ofc the show became so unwatchable but it peaked here for me.

Extract: “What’s going on with you and the walking jockstrap?”

2. drink the fatal drop, then fall apart in parts | Daenerys Targaryen & Jon Snow | Game of Thrones | in which the lord of light brings Dany back as a vampire and she goes on a revenge spree, starting with her killer - written in the throes of s8 rage lol. Basically a Kill Bill, Volume Dragon Queen, lol. I like how batshit it is, lol.

Extract:

“Yes—yes you did, Jon Snow.” She’s watching him the way a maester might watch a dull experiment. “I suppose it’s what you do, isn’t it? Kill people you love.” She says it with a calculated cruelty that makes him wince with every word

1.the wolf has golden teeth | Mel Medarda (& some Mel x Jayce) | Arcane | a Mel study spanning from childhood to the finale, I'll always be proud of this one. It's my truest love letter to Mel, and I've written several lbrh.

Extract:

He touches his forehead to hers just like they did as children and says, sure and warm as he always is even though his eyes are sorrowful, “We will meet again, sister, I promise you.” And she believes him because out of everyone, Kino has never lied to her. Not once. He steps back, his dark locs falling across his brow as he reaches into his pockets to procure a sealed letter. “Take this and head south to Rokrund, then east to Piltover by sea. Rhodri Ferros will take you in – at least until you decide what to do.”

“Why would they?” She’s never heard of the Ferros beyond reading some of the histories of Piltover, a city well-known even throughout Noxus for its industrial and trading prowess.

Kino smirks, a sharp thing full of teeth that reminds her a little too much of Mother. “Let’s just say, they owe me one.”

Tagging:

@laufire

@melmedarda

@synergetic-prose

@dontbotherwiththepronunciation

Anyone keen!

[jon-sedai]

Melisandre is one of my favorite minor POVs mostly because of how GRRM plays with the all-powerful mage trope. See the deconstruction with her is that despite her antics, she’s actually very powerful and all her visions are legit. It’s just that she absolutely sucks at interpreting said visions, mostly because she has all these preconceived notions and is very stubborn about them. And even when the answer is staring right at her (literally), she just doubles down. And it can be very frustrating as a reader, to be quite honest.

Like she’s been super gung ho about Stannis Baratheon being Azor Ahai/the Prince that Was Promised, though only R’hllor know why, to the extent that she will flat-out ignore any evidence to the contrary. Her visions in ADWD essentially scream that Azor Ahai is someone different (not Stannis!) but good ol’ Mel just won’t budge.

There’s this very hilarious interaction in Jon’s 10th ADWD chapter that essentially spells out all of her problems with visions and prophecy, with Jon serving as the reader’s proxy in some ways.

This interaction happens during Alys Karstark’s wedding feast and Patchface drops some of his weird jingles, which Mel very unsettled by. So she’s turns to Jon and is like, “ugh that dude is so creepy, all my visions tell me so”. And Jon’s reaction to this is super funny, because he’s like:

“You see fools in your fire, but no hint of Stannis?”

Wow Jon lmao

He just had to call her out like that, unprovoked. But his frustration makes sense. He’s constantly been asking about Stannis’ whereabouts but Mel’s responses just aren’t very satisfactory (in his opinion).

Then we get this next line which really just says everything about Mel’s stubbornness and perfectly embodies the deconstruction of the all-powerful seer trope.

“When I search for him all I see is snow.”

So Mel looks for Stannis, whom she believes to be Azor Ahai, in her fires but doesn’t find him. Instead she sees “snow”. And this part tracks with her POV too. We know from her chapter that she constantly sees Jon in her visions. It’s how we get the very interesting “I pray for a glimpse of Azor Ahai, and R’hllor shows me only Snow” line.

So one would think that Mel might go: “Hmmm I look for the prophesied savior, but I don’t see Stannis. Instead, I only see Snow. I don’t doubt R’hllor’s power so if my visions are true, then maybe I need to rethink a few things”.

One would think…

But nope!

And Jon’s like “Hey maybe you’re not seeing Stannis because he’s super dead, ever think about that Mel?” And she proceeds to spout the usual Azor Ahai stuff and even mentions Dragonstone:

“When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. Dragonstone is the place of smoke and salt.”

To which Jon’s replies, “uhhhh news flash Stannis was not born on Dragonstone so that doesn’t track”.

Obviously this is Jon’s skepticism but I like to think that he took the reader’s place here. Because many of us have asked ourselves, why oh why would Mel think of Stannis just because she saw Dragonstone? Like yeah, he’s the Lord of Dragonstone but he wasn’t born there. It’s quite a valid question and how does Mel counter it? She doubles down and twist herself into a pretzel to make Stannis fit (even though he doesn’t fit at all!)

Really, Jon’s reaction is essentially what would happen if someone dropped me into the world of ASOIAF and gave me the chance to meet Mel and ask her a few questions. I’d be quite frustrated, just as Jon is here. And to be fair, the reader has a lot of auxiliary information (e.g., Jon’s parentage) that Mel doesn’t have.

But then the next few lines really illustrate just why poor Mel can be so frustrating. Because Jon’s follow up is,

“And what of Mance? Is he lost as well? What do your fires show?”

And what does Mel say?

“The same, I fear. Only snow.”

…??!

Mel!😭

Seriously, I cannot! This is the exact same situation as with Stannis. She looks for a king but only sees Snow. This makes me wonder then, based on previous wording, if she’s specifically looking for “the King Beyond the Wall” (not just “Mance”) and only seeing Snow - at this point, Jon has all but supplanted Mance.

So once again, one would think that Mel would go: hmmmm I look for the King Beyond the Wall but I see Jon Snow and not Mance Rayder. Seeing that Mance’s power has been diminished and Jon Snow is now taking control of the wildlings, maybe I should re-evaluate a few things”.

Yeah, one would think…

Homegirl is trying her best, she really is. But sadly, her best can only get E for Effort.

And at this point the reader is just done with Mel, and Jon is too:

“You are seeing cinders dancing in the updraft.”

He doesn’t even bother to phase it as a question lmao. He just calls her out and doesn’t care.

And we’re in his POV so he’s thinking of the lower case “snow”. Also, why in the hell is Mel referring to Jon like this?

Anyway, this is why I think Jon serves as the reader’s proxy in this conversation because it’s like a thinking exercise (facilitated by the narrative) that ultimately goes nowhere because Mel is so, so stubborn.

Because if we really break it down:

R’hllor/the Narrative: Who do you see when you search for the king/Azor Ahai?

Mel: Jon Snow

R’hllor/the Narrative: Ok…and who do you see when you search for the King Beyond the Wall?

Mel: Erm, Jon Snow…

R’hllor/the Narrative/the Reader: Great! So say it with me. The king you’re looking for is J-

Mel: STANNIS BARATHEON!

R’hllor/the Reader: …?!

And before anyone claims that this is a misdirect, Mel really is seeing Jon Snow. Straight from the horse’s mouth:

“I am seeing skulls. And you. I see your face every time I look into the flames.”

Friend….I don’t even know what to say anymore…