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Maybe my favorite thing about re4 remake is all the moments that feel distinctly human, in a really heartbreaking way. Like when the game makes me go ‘oh my god that’s just Some Guy in a horrific situation’
All of the Ashley moments count as this for me but I wanted to post my top 3 Leon/Luis moments because they’ve been replaying in my head for days:
1. Luis turning his head away when he thinks he’s about to witness Leon being murdered by Mendez:
This one took me a little while to notice but it feels so sad because it’s like, to me he obviously just doesn’t want to have to watch another person die for what he perceives to be a direct consequence of his actions 😭
2. The way Leon’s voice cracks on the word ‘up’ when you look at this human sacrifice situation:
It reminds me of 21 year old Leon tbh.
3. Leon’s little stumble when he tries to get up and rush to Luis when he collapses after saving Leon from Krauser (this one is so owie to me)
#honorable mentions#Leon’s face when he’s about to pass out after Ashley’s plaga removal#Luis’s whole breakdown over the medicine in separate ways#luis serra#leon s kennedy#re4 remake#resident evil
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Even though it's been months since I switched from neurosurgery to internal medicine, I still have a hard time not being angry about the training culture and particularly the sexism of neurosurgery. It wasn't the whole reason I switched, but truthfully it was a significant part of my decision.
I quickly got worn out by constantly being questioned over my family plans. Within minutes of meeting me, attendings and residents felt comfortable lecturing me on the difficulties of having children as a neurosurgeon. One attending even suggested I should ask my co-residents' permission before getting pregnant so as not to inconvenience them. I do not have children and have never indicated if I plan to have any. Truthfully, I do want children, but I would absolutely have foregone that to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than anything. But I was never asked: it was simply assumed that I would want to be a mother first. Purely because I'm a woman, my ambitions were constantly undermined, assumed to be lesser than those of my male peers. Women must want families, therefore women must be less committed. It was inconceivable that I might put my career first. It was impossible to disprove this assumption: what could I have done to demonstrate my commitment more than what I had already done by leading the interest group, taking a research year, doing a sub-I? My interest in neurosurgery would never be viewed the same way my male peers' was, no matter what I did. I would never be viewed as a neurosurgeon in the same way my male peers would be, because I, first and foremost, would be a mother. It turns out women don't even need to have children to be a mother: it is what you essentially are. You can't be allowed to pursue things that might interfere with your potential motherhood.
Furthermore, you are not trusted to know your own ambitions or what might interfere with your motherhood. I am an adult woman who has gone to medical school: I am well aware of what is required in reproduction, pregnancy, and residency, as much as one can be without experiencing it firsthand. And yet, it was always assumed that I had somehow shown up to a neurosurgery sub-I totally ignorant of the demands of the career and of pregnancy. I needed to be enlightened: always by men, often by childless men. Apparently, it was implausible that I could evaluate the situation on my own and come to a decision. I also couldn't be trusted to know what I wanted: if I said I wanted to be a neurosurgeon more than a mother, I was immediately reassured I could still have a family (an interesting flip from the dire warnings issued not five minutes earlier in the conversation). People could not understand my point, which was that I didn't care. I couldn't mean that, because women are fundamentally mothers. I needed to be guided back to my true role.
Because everyone was so confident in their sexist assumptions that I was less committed, I was not offered the same training, guidance, or opportunities as the men. I didn't have projects thrown my way, I didn't get check-ins or advice on my application process, I didn't get opportunities in the OR that my male peers got, I didn't get taught. I once went two whole days on my sub-I without anyone saying a word to me. I would come to work, avoid the senior resident I was warned hated trainees, figure out which OR to go to on my own, scrub in, watch a surgery in complete silence without even the opportunity to cut a knot, then move to the next surgery. How could I possibly become a surgeon in that environment? And this is all to say nothing of the rape jokes, the advice that the best way for a woman to match is to be as hot as possible, listening to my attending advise the male med students on how to get laid, etc.
At a certain point, it became clear it would be incredibly difficult for me to become a neurosurgeon. I wouldn't get research or leadership opportunities, I wouldn't get teaching or feedback, I wouldn't get mentorship, and I wouldn't get respect. I would have to fight tooth and nail for every single piece of my training, and the prospect was just exhausting. Especially when I also really enjoyed internal medicine, where absolutely none of this was happening and I even had attendings telling me I would be good at it (something that didn't happen in neurosurgery until I quit).
I've been told I should get over this, but I don't know how to. I don't know how to stop being mad about how thoroughly sidelined I was for being female. I don't know how to stop being bitter that my intelligence, commitment, and work ethic meant so much less because I'm a woman. I know I made the right decision to switch to internal medicine, and it probably would have been the right decision even if there weren't all these issues with the culture of neurosurgery, but I'm still so angry about how it happened.
#I would love to do something about this but I have no idea how to#even the faculty that I do really admire and respect seem entrenched in some of these attitudes#it's really hard to convince people that women aren't traitors in the making#simply because we might get pregnant one day and need time off#oh I also heard people shittalking a resident that was on maternity leave#and saying she wasn't serious about neurosurgery#so it's just inevitable#I'm not the only female student that feels this way btw#there's a reason no women have applied to nsgy from my school in years#sexism#neurosurgery#surgery#medicine#medical school#med school#med student#medblr#my content#my text posts
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Samedi 11 février 2023
Hello there how are you doing ?
4 months left until graduation. 4 months before becoming a doctor :)) Life is rough and exhausting. Everyone is so stressed out and suspicious since they aren’t enough places for all of the students. I might chose internal medicine.
I try to stay out of this toxic environnement. I hate competition.
I hope you guys are doing good. May we all be walking safely and peacefully towards our goals.
Take care.
#medical school#academia#dark academia#classic academia#soon to be#physician#internal medicine#graduation#study inspo#studyblr#study with me#France#café#study hard#residency
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peds surgeon yuuta??? u cant say things like that i need to jump. the cartoons, the glasses, of course his freaky ass would have a thing for u calling him doctor okkotsu i need to die id wanna tease him sm and be all over him but i cant think of anything if its in a hospital how did the greys anatomy ppl made it work?
the grey’s doctors were FREAKS LMFAOO bc there is not space to be doing all that in the on call rooms…. honestly yuuta is probably too busy to even try anything with you in the hospital 90% of the time… he’s either in surgery or buried in the research library or falling asleep standing up 😭 sometimes you two pass each other in an empty stairwell and have time for a kiss or two, but never more than that (also because yuuta has very little self-restraint when it comes to you… if he allowed himself more than that, then it would be much harder to stop…)
sometimes the two of you will fall asleep in the same on call room. yuuta will page you there and by the time you arrive he’s already half asleep, it’s probably his only nap in the last 24 hours, so you do your best not to wake wake him when you cuddle up next to him. you get a few hours of bliss in his arms before his pager is waking the both of you up, and he’s got to scurry downstairs to the peds floor and in his hurry he doesn’t realize he’s snagged your lab coat instead of his own, and it’s only when he’s haphazardly slipped it on and the arms are too short and the shoulders are too tight that he figures it out. it’s too late by then, because gojo is the attending on this case which means he doesn’t miss anything, which means he’s the first to giggle and tease, poking at your name embroidered above the breast pocket, “oh? i didn’t know the two of you got married already! oh and you took her last name, how noble, yuuta!~”
#anonymous#there's technically two separate doctor aus in my head#one is a gojo-verse where he's not a doctor but reader/kento/yuuji/shoko are in that one little drabble i posted#but in this gojo's anatomy universe they all get to be doctors 🙂↕️#some specialities are up in the air but so far peds unit is yuuta (resident) and choso (attending) and they do Not mess around#so very calm and gentle and sweet w the kids but when it comes to the medicine to the surgery to the treatments theyre Mean#they dont play around they dont lack of empathy they wont have it#i think... i think we have to have gojo as a brain surgeon... unfortunately... i think we do......#yuuji is a trauma resident in the other au but i think i'd do the same for him here idk it just fits him 😔#megumi is like..... the radiologist/x-ray tech that gets 40 calls an hour bc everyone wants their scans read in 20 seconds#and hes like no its Not a tumor no i wont run it again and no i dont have time for this 😐#or megumi is actually the parademic who brings in to the ER and hes like well these r drunk college kids... best of luck!#or megumi physical therapist... with his physical therapy dogs.....#nobara ortho resident and shes Scary LMFAOO#old lady comes in for a hip replacement and nobara's got her playlist on full blast having the time of her life hacking away LMFAO#nanami in internal/emergency medicine and hes trying to have his five (5) minutes of peace#and ofc gojo pops up like gnat and hes like nanamin! can i put this patient on blood thiners! and there goes nanamis lunch#yuuta.ask#doctor au
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reminding myself on this busy morning that i also have dreams of taking piano lessons & singing lessons & also honing my writing skills & absorbing as many books as i used to when i was a kid & at the very least taking up cute tennis dates & dabbling into art & just becoming an artistic generalist. also reminding myself that there are pre-meds out there who managed to pursue something they’re passionate in (some are even professional athletes) & still excelled in medicine & if they can do it so can I
#Delusional? Maybe a little bit but this is what i wanna do w my life and I don’t wanna choose one or the other#If I drop science/medicine I feel empty#If I don’t have my creative outlets I feel empty#My existence is a symbiotic meeting of these two facets#It’s possible bc other ppl have done it but I just need to achieve godly levels of time budgeting and drive basically#I was raised on the belief that if you want something badly enough you’ll make it happen!! So that is what I’m going 2 do#I mean when I make it to residency the 80 hr work weeks probably won’t allow for much lol BUT#I don’t like the popular opinion that med school doesn’t allow time for anything else.#So many med students have said that u have plenty of time & that it will be a period of self discovery exploration etc#Idk we’ll see. But!! I intend on making this work.#p
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Not pictured: the interns trying the best to help, but not being legally allowed to actually fo anything without the supervision of said R1.
#medicine#med school#medblr#obgyn#residency#poor guy#he was so overworked#he once worked for 37 hours in a row#(and obviously had to come back the next day 🙄)#and the attendings#callampin bombin
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need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au need to write a hospital au
#WITH ALL THE JJK MEN#im having brainrot#gojo is 100% emergency dept doctor coded#choso is PEDIATRICIAN#nanami is primary care idc he likes routine n he likes it boring#suguruuu is giving cardiologist#i feel like he could also be internal medicine#toji is anesthesiologist bc he’s lazy asf lol#oh noooo wait sukuna would be internal medicine#or he’d be ortho#so that he can legally use hammers on people#LOL#omg i wanna write a gigantic hospital au reverse harem#where the reader is a first year resident#n she just get her back blown by all these hot doctors#im gonna sob#i can see her being ob/gyn 🤭🤭#i love an ob girlie bc im tryna be an obstetrician loool#ok but fuck me gojo as an ED doc wld drive me nuts#ED docs are hands down the sluttiest#esp on night shift#hnngnnggngg#imagine the QUICKIES IN THE STORAGE CLOSETS YALL WOULD HAVE#hellooo sir#wld also be traumatizing tho#bc what if they call code blue#mid thrust#thats fucking wild#hoenstly thats kinda dark#LOOOOL
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I MATCHED I MATCHED IN MY MEDICAL RESIDENCY PROGRAM IN MY TOP SCHOOL I PASSED I PASSED I CAN'T BREATHE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#i also fell down the stairs while trying to scream it to my mom and now i cant walk#I'M MOVING TO SÃO PAULO#I CAN'T BREATHE#i've been studying for 2 years for this#damn it the timing of this#I'M GOING TO BE A RESIDENT!!!!!!!#i cant stop crying i cant even type evenly#i'm so happy i'm so happy obrigada deus#sofia is going to be a resident!!!! CLINICAL MEDICINE BABY#in my top SCHOOL I CANT EVEN#OMFG 😭#personal life
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The more comfortable I get with the inpatient workflow (knowing how to order things, how certain things work and are done, how to navigate the EMR, etc), the more happy I am to realize that inpatient rotations aren't actually all that bad in terms of the work of them. They suck specifically because they are exhausting 12-13 hour days, 6 days a week and you simply do not get to have a life while you're on this rotation but while I'm at the hospital, it's pretty much fine.
I wish I had the time and energy to work out and also not eat two out of my three meals every day of hospital food, and more time to rest, but I'm also relieved that I definitely do not actively dread or fear going to work every day like I was worried I might. Like, it sucks, but it's not active misery, yfm? My spirits are high. Definitely not super tenable, though.
Also, I have ED next and honestly fuck the emergency department. So glad there are people out there that enjoy emergency medicine, but I am simply not ADHD enough for that shit. I didn't have any bad shifts on my first ED rotation but I still disliked the whole workflow and baseline stress levels.
Anyway, things that did stress me out this week (CW dire hospital shit):
lady who kept threatening to leave the hospital against medical advice because she hated being there that much, even though she had an infection for which she needed an IV-only antibiotic or else she would almost certainly die. everything kept going wrong. she could go home with a central or midline cath; her line was peripheral; picc team couldn't put in a picc line because of her surgical history, so we had to go to interventional radiology and put in a Hickman line; we found this out on Friday and so she wasn't scheduled until Monday; on Monday she almost got moved to the next day because there was an emergency bleed during her time that IR was needed for and she said if we didn't get her scheduled in 45 minutes she was leaving the hospital. ended up discharging her at like 6pm on Monday and I ended up crying at work on Friday (the 13th! yay,,) in the resident library which surprised even me but apparently I'm not immune to "so WHAT if I die?? what do I have to live for? cancer and pain?" after three days of doing my best to juggle "doctor" with "therapist" every time I saw her. she likes me a lot which I think means I did a decent job but that really ran out my emotional energy.
the dude whose nurse called me three times in 45 minutes while I was trying to juggle discharging the above lady and doing my first admit. he was throwing things at the walls in his room because he wanted a cough drop and simply could NOT wait. what the fuck ever.
#personal#residency#dear diary#a patient asked me “do you even get days off here?!” today#and I was like “I get one! :)”#and she was like “DANG SORRY I ASKED”#very funny interaction she's a great lady#no offense to her but I hope I never see AMA lady again#also I will say my attending and seniors have been incredibly supportive#my attending went with me to talk to AMA lady after that and it was like magic#and one of my seniors on ED stayed past his shift end time with me to have the#“your first time crying at work because you work in medicine don't worry we have all done it” talk with me haha
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Conceptual Medicine: A Complete Guide
Conceptual Medicine is about the journey of medicine residents. With expert sessions, live lectures, and in-depth study materials, we provide top-notch resources for those going through the Internal Medicine Residency. The platform will provide you with intense case discussions, comprehensive training, and preparation for exams to help you excel in your medicine residency and develop more clinical skills.
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#medicine residents#Internal Medicine Residency#medicine residency#residents medical#medical residency in india#Medicine Residency#internal medicine residency program#medicine fellowships#residency programs in medicine#internal medicine residency programs#top internal medicine residency programs#best internal medicine residency programs
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27.09.2024
Rains are back, so are my mood to bake. Did very little studying over the past few days. My first year residency is coming to an end and it has begun to hit me about how little studying has been done. Clinically I have picked up a lot but I have so much to learn in terms of concepts and for theory.
#phtooftheday#medstudlife#studyblr#studysthetics#study mood#medstudynotes#study blog#mbbs#study aesthetic#mbbs in india#pediatric resident#pediatric doctor#pediatrician#study time#study inspiration#study notes#study desk#study space#study hard#study with inspo#med notes#study medicine#med blog#medblr#indian medblog#indian medblr#indian doctor#indian studyblr#med studyblr#studyblr community
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this rotation may be the worst most hateful poorly organized etc etc. but i am leaning like hell on my personal pan pizza sized Nights white cloud
#i have literally never had a night that wasn't reasonably chill. in all medicine#resident good#JINX JINX JINX. BREAK MY FINGERGATE. NO BAD JUJU
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On the Value of Source Control:
ID Doc: what’s the best antibiotic?
Intern:……Meropenem?
ID Doc: wrong, it’s a good surgeon
#had a really excellent talk on antibiotics today#better than anything else I’ve gotten#also the lecturer was pretty funny#medicine#residency#medblr#my content#my text posts
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A girl's four years chronicle: days 251-260 | year 01
I could make some progress in studies lhamdoullah !
I actually finished the respiratory chapter ( that's a big yay ) and now I'm studying pharmacology which is pretty fun.
I went back home for the weekend. I missed my people here <3
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internal medicine has been an uphill battle so far 😵💫
managed to catch some snow these past two weekends tho 🙌🏻
#medblr#medblog#junior doctors#medicine#internal medicine#junior doctor diaries#junior doctor#resident
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