#medic steals spy’s head

[maeo-png]

listening to spy’s domination lines against medic. the supports rlly do just absolutely LOATHE each other

[jevilowo]

When I learn to code I will make a shitty mobile game where you care for Medic's pet Spy head like a knockoff talking tom while he goes on honeymoon with Heavy (the doves go with them but the head does not)

You can

Feed him!

Bathe him!

Dress him up!

Chainsmoke!

Kill him! Then you must do a minigame where you track him down after he and his body respawn and steal his head again so Medic doesn't find out.

Kiss him goodnight!

The game goes on forever. Medic tricked you he's actually retired the head is your problem now.

[five-rivers]

wandering heart

For @phantomphangphucker for phic phight!

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The needle was bronze.  

The copper alloy stood out better against ectoplasmic flesh than it would have against red blood.  It dipped in and out of Danny's skin with machine-like precision, drawing a slender purple string in its wake.  Appropriate.  Clockwork was at least partly mechanical.

“You're getting close to my liver,” said Danny.  “Careful.”

“You are aware that these facsimile organs are not at all essential to the function of your body.”

“Sure they are,” said Danny.  He leaned his head back on the cushion Clockwork had provided him.  “That's why you're sewing me up.”

Clockwork's tower wasn't Danny's usual post-battle stop, but the fight had been nasty and it had been close. His other choices had been flying an hour to reach the Far Frozen and leaving an ectoplasm trail through the mad science lab dedicated to dissecting ghosts.  The decision had been easy.  

Clockwork had complained, of course.  Ninety percent of the time spent stitching had doubled as time spent snarking.  It was fun.  

“You have more than fake human organs in here, and losing that much ectoplasm is unhealthy for a ghost regardless.  You are friends with the doctors of the Far Frozen.  Perhaps you should avail yourself of their knowledge more frequently.”

“I already have one health class I'm failing.  Don't need another.”

“You are not failing your health class.”

Danny peeled back an eyelid that had fallen shut at some point during the exchange.  “Are you using your time powers to spy on my grades?”

“Hardly.”  Clockwork picked up a pair of ornate scissors and snipped the string he'd been stitching Danny up with.  “But even so, I doubt you would notice if I removed one of your so-called organs.” 

“You could try,” said Danny.  He closed his eyes again and leaned to the side until he was slumped over on Clockwork, who made an offended noise.  “You’re trapped now.  Stuck.”

“I am a shapeshifter,” said Clockwork.  “You cannot ‘trap’ me simply by leaning on me.”

“Can too.”

Danny was tired.  Sometimes, he could shrug off both fights and injuries like they were nothing, but unicorns were vicious and Technus was mean.  Electricity always took a lot out of him.  

Clockwork sighed heavily.  Danny smiled.  

“You aren’t nearly as charming as you think,” said Clockwork.  

“And yet, you are neither kicking me out nor stealing my pancreas or lower intestine or anything like that.”

“I could.”

“But you haven’t.”  Danny tucked his feet underneath him and snuggled more heavily into Clockwork’s side.  

The ghost groaned, but obligingly made room for Danny.  Yes, yes, exactly according to plan.  The evil one, where he made friends with Clockwork.  He figured he was already halfway there, if Clockwork was willing to sew him up, but with this it was definitely closer to three quarters.  

Having thought this, Danny promptly fell asleep.  

.

The front doors of Clockwork’s tower were not made to slam open, but Danny, fingers of one hand clenched over his chest and still wearing a Far Frozen medical gown, managed anyway.  He was resourceful like that.  

“Clockwork?” he called.  “Clockwork!”  He flew from room to room, only sticking his head in long enough to assess them for Clockwork's presence.  

Finally, he found him.  

“Clockwork!” he shouted, re-energized by the sight.  “Did you steal my heart?  My heart?  My actual heart from my actual chest?”

Clockwork stared blankly at Danny for long enough that his panicked doubled and doubled again.  This was, quite literally, his only lead.

“No,” said Clockwork, finally.  “I stole the replica of your actual heart.  From your chest.”

“That’s the same thing!”

“Is it?” asked Clockwork, smugly.  “After all, you didn’t even notice this one was gone.”

“Oh my god, I cannot believe you did this.”  Friendship plan canceled.  Or something.

“I cannot imagine why,” said Clockwork.  “After all, I told you exactly what I was going to do.  You even gave me permission.”

“I thought you were joking.  Who’s going to think that you’re serious about stealing a friend’s organs?  That’s a joke.  A joke.  Banter, if you would.  Not an invitation to steal my literal heart.”

“Even so, it has been done.”

“Well, can you undo it?  Put it back in?  You didn’t, I don’t know, toss it out with last week’s eggshells or something?  Stick it in the back of the kitchen junk drawer.”

“No, I know exactly where I put it,” said Clockwork.  

“And you can undo it, right?  It’s not, like, expired?”

“It is difficult to get more expired than a ghost’s heart.”  

Danny stared at Clockwork expectantly.  

“Yes, I can undo it.  It will be the work of a moment to return it to its proper place.”  

“Great, so…  Lead on.”  Danny made a forward sweeping motion with both hands.  

Clockwork’s eyes slid back towards his time screen.  “Can it wait?”

“No!”

“You haven’t had it for weeks.  You won’t miss it for a few more minutes.”

“Uh, yes, I will!  You can time travel.  Whatever you’re doing, you can do it later.”

“I suppose,” said Clockwork.  “Very well.  Follow me.”

Clockwork led him back, through narrow halls, into a towering closet with spiral shelves.  It was full of what could only be collectively referred to as stuff.  

“Wow, I wasn’t serious about the junk drawer thing.”

“Oh, please,” said Clockwork.  “This is hardly junk.”

“You’re a hoarder.”

“I resent that appellation,” said Clockwork, flying up and rotating slightly.  Danny kept his feet on the ground, slightly intimidated.

“The only reason you aren’t drowning in all this is because your house doesn’t have to exist in Euclidean space.”

“And yet, I am not drowning in it.” Clockwork continued to float upwards, a faint frown on his face.  

“You do remember where you put it, right?”

“Yes, Daniel,” said Clockwork, visibly rolling his eyes.  “I put it right– Ah.  Interesting.”

“Interesting?  What do you mean interesting?” demanded Danny.  He flew up to hover near Clockwork's shoulder.  “Did something happen to it?  Is it– It's not there?  You said you knew where it was!”

“I said I knew where I put it, which is rather a different thing altogether.”

“No, it isn't!  It's not like it has legs!  It couldn't have wandered off on its oooohhhhhhhh my God, it could have wandered off on its own.  That thing had more ectoplasm in it than a Christmas turkey.”

“It is, in fact,” said Clockwork, “entirely made out of ectoplasm.”

“If it’s moving around like that, can we put it back in?  Would it– Would it try to escape?  Like, escape my chest?  Is that a thing?”

“Unlikely.”

“As unlikely as it starting to move around in the first place?”

“Unlikely,” repeated Clockwork.  

“Where even is it?  Do you know?  Can you tell?  Obviously, your whole ��I know everything’ shtick is a lie, but can you, like, rewind things so that it’s here?”

“No,” said Clockwork.  “We will just have to look for it.”

“In your hoarder cave?”

“It is not a cave.”

“Ah, but you don't dispute the hoarder part?”  He spun, head over heels, trying and failing to see the entirety of the not-really-a-closet.  “What if there are things in here?  Like, living things?  Could it have been eaten?  By, like… Clockroaches?  Do you have clockroaches here?”

“Media tends to grossly exaggerate both the aggression and size of temporal boggles–”

“They’re real?”

“Why would you ask about them if you didn’t think they were real?”

“I don’t know.  It turns out I don’t think through the things I say to you very well.”

“Clearly.” 

Danny arrested his motion.  “Where do we even start?  This place is huge!”

“That statement assumes that it is still in this particular room.”

“Oh my God.”

“Although, if we are to search this room, it would make the most sense to start from either end and work towards the middle.”

Danny flipped over.  “I can’t even see the other end.”  This was only barely an exaggeration.

“Then we had best get started soon.”

Danny rubbed his face.  “Am I even going to recognize it?  What will it look like?”

“Like the organ it was imitating, of course,” said Clockwork.  “Oh, and don’t touch anything.”

Danny groaned.

.

There was something quivering and green huddled behind a bank of jars.  Was that… it couldn’t be…  He formed a stick out of ice and went to poke it.  

“What are you doing to that poor frog?” asked Clockwork.  

“Holy– It’s a frog?”

“Yes.” 

Danny stared.  Clockwork was covered in splatters and streaks of ectoplasm from head to tail.  

“Why do you– I don’t even want to know.  Did you find it?”

“Yes,” said Clockwork, holding up a jar.  There was…  Well.  It was a heart.  “Are you sure you want it back?  Surely, the sentimental value cannot be that great.”

“Wh– It’s not about the sentimental value.  Open it up, put it back in!”

Clockwork’s sigh was incredibly put-upon.  “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He unscrewed the lid of the jar, and the heart, which had up until that point, laid quiescent on the bottom of the jar, flew out, smacking Danny in the face.  

“Augh!”

“Grab it!” 

Danny managed to get a hand around a ventricle, but ectoplasm and ectoplasmic muscle was slippery.  It escaped his grip.  It flopped-flew its way down to the bottom of the genuinely-not-a-closet and made for the door.  Danny dove at it, only to get a faceful of ectoplasm from an artery for his trouble.  

Danny wondered if this was what Skulker felt like.  He let ectoplasm dribble out of his mouth.  

“That, bleh, that tastes like my ectoplasm,” he said.

“That’s because it is,” said Clockwork, tiredly.  “I will refrain from asking you to elaborate on your ectoplasm-tasting experiences.”

“Look, when nature gives you a weapon, and afterlife gives you enemies, you use the weapon.”  He peered cautiously out of the door, wary of being sprayed with what was essentially his own blood once again.  “Where do you think it–”

He got another mouthful of ectoplasm.  

“Bleh,” he said.  

“I don’t suppose you saw it?” asked Clockwork.  “Which way it went, etcetera, etcetera?”

“No,” said Danny.  

“Then this will be a long night.”

“Can’t you just, like, stop time or something?  So it won’t move around while we look”

Clockwork gave him a look.  

“I’ll take that as a no.”

.

“I think,” said Danny, from where he was dangling from the ceiling, a tangle of clock chains wrapped around his ankle, “that we need help.”

“Unfortunately, I must concur,” said Clockwork, who was underneath a pair of couches even he’d been surprised at owning.

“Unless you want to use your totally awesome time powers to find it.”

“No.”

.

“I’m sorry,” said Sam.  “What did you lose?”

“My heart,” said Danny.  “And I didn’t lose it.  Clockwork stole it.”

“Is this some kind of Ice Queen situation here?” asked Sam.  “Are you going to lose all empathy and care for other people?”

“No,” said Danny.  “It’s just the, um, physical thing.  And only my ghost half’s physical thing.  Apparently.  Apparently, the ‘human organs’ I have in my ghost form aren’t functional, unless the functionality is, like, the functionality of being incredibly annoying and spraying ectoplasm everywhere.”

“So, what should we bring for this thing?” asked Tucker.  “Butterfly nets?  Bow and arrow?  Guns?  What’s the endgame?”

“You want to shoot my heart?”

“I don’t know what you want here, dude.  I’m still kind of reeling over the fact that the guy you were hanging out with literally stole your heart.  Do you need someone to give him a stern talking to, make sure he gets you home before curfew?”

“That’s disgusting.  He could probably be my great-great-great-great-great-great–”

In ghost form, Danny didn’t have to breathe all that much, so he was able to go on like that until Sam and Tucker joined forces to stuff socks in his mouth.  

.

“How in the world did things escalate to Clockwork stealing your literal heart?” asked Jazz.  

“Okay, yeah, I see how that’d seem bad, out of context, but you see, it isn’t actually my literal heart–”

.

Danny glared at Clockwork’s idea of ‘help.’ “I bring three completely reasonable and competent people, and you bring them?”

“From my point of view, I am the one with the reasonable and competent people,” said Clockwork, gesturing at the combined forces of Nocturne, Ghost Writer, and Skulker.  “You, meanwhile, have brought three teenagers.”

“Are you really calling Skulker competent?”

“If not, he at least has experience in being outsmarted by you.”

“Hey!”

.

“Alas,” said Tucker, “the heart wants what the heart wants, and what it wants is freedom.”

“Where,” said Sam, kicking at a puddle, “is all this ectoplasm even coming from?”

“Around,” said Danny.  

“Ooh,” said Jazz, “it’s condensing it from the atmosphere?”  She paused.  “What are you all looking at me like that for?  I can have scientific curiosity!”

“I think it’s more because of what’s happened to your hair,” said Ghost Writer.

“What’s happened to my hair?”

“You don’t want to know.”

.

“Danny, I think I hate you,” said Sam.  They were sitting on one of Clockwork’s couches.  Clockwork had a lot of couches.  A fact that Clockwork seemed both bemused and distressed by.  

“Oh, trust me, the feeling is mutual.  As in, I hate me too.”

Clockwork sat down on the couch next to Danny.  “Daniel, I must tell you that while hate is beneath me, I am seriously regretting my earlier decisions.”

“Does that mean that you’re going to time travel back to–”

“Absolutely not.”

Tucker ran past them with a butterfly net, chasing down a green blur.  

“That’s a blob ghost, isn’t it?” asked Sam.  

“I do believe so,” said Clockwork.

“Well,” said Danny.  “At least this all makes us friends, yeah?  Can’t go through something like this without being friends.”  At least he’d get something accomplished with all this insanity.  

“I wouldn’t call myself friends with Skulker.  Or Nocturne.  Acquaintances, more like.”

“I notice you didn’t say anything about Ghost Writer.”

Clockwork shrugged.  “He’s somewhat more tolerable.”

“And me?”

“I suppose.”

The heart fell straight down, into Danny’s lap.

“Are you serious–”

[prettyboypistol]

What if... stuff that m!reader does/can do that makes the mercs flustered? even if its just making them a little embarrassed i need to know!!!

What You Do That Flusters the Mercs! || TF2 x M!Reader

Scout

He likes watching you socialize with people, you naturally lean on walls and tilt your neck up when you laugh- god damn, you look so hot when you laugh!

For some reason, when you throw things and catch them. He has no idea why it just makes his heart skips a beat.

When you focus and your eyebrows knit together and it deadass just stares at you.

Soldier

DISPLAYS. OF. POWER. Deadlift something. Throw an enemy off a cliff. Threaten a Spy and scare him. Solly will never fucking recover.

Independence and general "coolness" makes Jane stumble over his words! You don't need a man, yet you still ask him to assist you? He feels so honored!

Asking for help casually, like said above. When you extend your hand out to grab something from him it makes Soldier scream internally.

Pyro

The fact that you're kind to people makes them like you. You're sweet and polite and cordial when you want to be. You're not annoying or hard ot read or obnoxious- you're just kind.

When you take your time with things to understand them. They daydream about spilling all their secrets to you.

Protectiveness really flusters Pyro. One time in battle, Pyro was cornered. You slammed the Scouts with a metal pole and growled that "nobody touches our Pyro!". They haven't stopped thinking about that. Nor will they ever.

Demo

Tavish is enamoured with your sense of humor. He loves how you're quick to make a joke and open to laughing at anything.

Can't help but blush when you stare at him. Yeah, half of the times you stare, you're spacing out, but Tavish still looks away and is flushed a pretty deep red.

The joking flirting??? YEAH HE STARTED IT BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE THAT HOT

Engie

Hard work and general work ethic.

Dell is super insecure about the fact the finds you super hot when you're sweaty. After a battle or working out is when Dell seems to linger around, stealing glances at you.

WHEN. YOU. PRAISE. HIS. INVENTIONS. That replays in his head all week long.

Heavy

He likes to watch you spar with people with stuff like wrestling/boxing, especially when you swing Scout around like a baseball bat.

There was one time where you and Heavy were in a tough spot against the enemy team, down by 4 kills. There was just something in your eye that had a light of fire and determination. Seeing that is how he fell for you.

Cook for this man please he will love you and blush forever.

Medic

CASUAL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT MEDICAL PAPERS AND SCIENTIFIC STUDIES. GOD YES.

Cooing with his birds??? He wants to pick you up and spin you around and kiss you and-

He really likes when you challenge him. You give this confident smirk and your tone shifts that make Medic want to just scream about how handsome you are.

Spy

Spy's a man with refined taste. He likes his men like he likes his wine: aged finely and polished to perfection. He likes when you're classy and get onto the others about acting crass and classless.

If you can dance, Spy absolutely pulls some strings to have you two on a mission where you two are in matching suits and dancing together.

Spy once was muttering to himself in french and you catch him and you just lean over the back of the couch, look down at him with a knowing smile and just respond in french as well "now now, a lady shouldn't scowl like that." He knew you meant it as a playful insult, but he blushed wildly under his mask.

Sniper

Mick's downright horrendously flustered when you make eye contact with him. You're a tad shorter than he is, so you looking up from behind to him makes Mick shake in his boots.

Bro please don't grunt/groan in effort at anything. He will NOT stop thinking about that.

When you accidentally look at him during missions. He's always keeping an eye on you, so when you stare back at him it makes his heart flutter.

[dollcherray]

୨୧ LAMB WITH TEETH ♡.°୭̥

Scout and Medic meeting an cutegore!reader ⁎⁺˳✧༚ 

Triggers: gore, lots of descriptive death, its TF2 so its the basic.

Reader's info: Reader is heavily implied to be a girl, very small (like five feet tall) and does blood rituals.

type: headcanons, romantic/platonic

୨୧ THE SCOUT ♡

୨୧ When scout first met you, he was heavily convinced you were not going to last in the battlegrounds, by your height and the way you dressed all in pink and cutesy ribbons, Not to mention that you had a bunch of stuffed animals in your bags.

୨୧ He would mock you for the first few days, calling you "short ghost", since you were always so quiet and observant, you didnt even greet him properly when he talked to you for the first time.

୨୧ The mockery would be often until the first day you had to fight together, and oh boy, shocked wasnt even close of how he felt after seeing you all covered in blood and pieces of organs.

୨୧ Your delicate and fluffy pink dress being painted by the vibrant red color of blood along with small pieces of the members of the enemy team's organs.

୨୧ Your chainsaw as pink as your dress, turned on and sawing your enemies in half without mercy, the sound of the chainsaw almost drowning out the enemy team's spy screams of pain.

୨୧ You turned off your chainsaw, leaving it aside stuck in the spy's stomach, you dashed away from the gory scenario you caused, pulling out a knife with a pink decorative bow on it, you were laughing like a maniac, ready to stab some bitches.

୨୧ he already was terrified by the thought that he understimated you who turned out being an total psycopath, and the sight he had of you chasing the other team's scout like your life depended on it didnt help at all.

୨୧ "IM GONNA USE YOUR HEAD AS MY DECORATION WALL YOU FUCKING BRAINLESS DEER" you shouted in the most terrifying, shivering voice chasing the enemy scout that was screaming like a fucking siren for his life.

୨୧ after the battle was over, Scout got real quiet around you, he wouldnt apologize or anything, he just would silently avoid talking to you.

୨୧ you noticed that, of course, but you didnt care at all, because you had other things to attend to.

୨୧ After a while, Scout little by little started trying to interact with you, to, you know, take away that guilt that he was excluding you from behind his back (or the fear that you will suddenly appears in his room to take all of his teeth out while he sleeps as revenge).

୨୧ and it turns out you're a chill person when not in killing mode or when your in "dont talk to me" mode, Scout hitted himself internally for subestimating you AGAIN.

୨୧ You two turned to be great friends in the end, but he still gets the creeps from you because of your brutal habits.

୨୧ he stays away from your room AT ALL COSTS.

୨୧ Seriously, the last time he entered your room without knocking, he witnessed you performing an creepy blood ritual with an Spy head (you TOTALLY didnt steal it from medic).

୨୧ You just waved to him like what you were doing was totally normal.

୨୧ But when hes not scared of you, he jokes with you alot, especially in the battlegrounds, he uses you as a threat alot to the enemies, or as a special weapon.

୨୧ "SAY HELLO, TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" he screams as he pulls you out of nowhere and throws you in the enemy heavy's face like a fucking bug.

୨୧ One time, you decided to pull a little prank on him, you hid yourself in his room's shadows, and when he finally entered, you jumped on him with the most terrifying screech ever.

୨୧ Lets say that Scout turned into Ariana grande that day.

୨୧ "ooo yeah your real scary." Scout said trying to keep his "toughness" after the most girly, feminine high pitched, chipmunking scream ever.

୨୧ meh, cant say that i see him dating someone as cruel as you, so 100% platonic

⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ MEDIC ୨୧

୨୧ OH NO, NOT HIM.

୨୧ Ok, i dont think he would take a liking to you at first, he would just ignore you, only thought he would have about you is that the way you dress is cute, but he would assume you were weak.

୨୧ Another one who would understimate you, the only difference is that he wouldnt mock you, its Medic, hes more mature than Scout. (anyone is more mature than scout.)

୨୧ He wouldnt even bat an eye on you, at most only wave or greet you shortly because he knows you're eerily quiet and doesnt really have a big habit of talking, until you two were in battle.

୨୧ He was healing heavy that time, and thats when he saw you stabbing an enemy demoman in the cheek repeatedly. your maniacal laughs almost silencing the demoman's screams and begs.

୨୧ He was STUNNED, he swore that he started seeing everything going in slow motion, your silky hair moving with each brutal and fast movement you did, the scarlet liquid flying into your delicate face and soft hair.

୨୧ You finished the demoman with only one hard and brute swing with your arms, your little delicate hands clutching the knife handle so hard that they were a little bit red, and with only one hard moviment, you carved your knife into the demoman's head.

୨୧ “Look! now your an unicorn” you mocked the now dead demoman infront of you, before grabbing your pink knife decorated with your enemy's blood and brain, getting up and running away like a possessed bug.

୨୧ The ex doctor's heart was beating like crazy, he didn't know what caused him to fall for you in that moment, you killing the man so brutally, or if it was your delicate pink clothes being dyed with blood. (or maybe both)

୨୧ After the battle, you could feel medic burning holes into you, he was staring you like crazy, not that it bothered you, it was just unusual for people to stare at you like that, especially when no one really dares to look at you out of feat.

୨୧ Medic would try to strike some conversation with you regardless if you answer him or not, he would just be happy with you listening to him.

୨୧ The thing that Medic most likes in you is how you can balance your cute aesthetic with your creepy habits, its really impressive to him, for him its either one or another.

୨୧ When he saw you doing your blood rituals, he would be interested, since.. you know, he already got involved with the devil himself, sometimes if you need he'll gift you with a kidney or two.

୨୧ "Well, my friend, i must say that i have subestimated vou in the first time we've met! i should judge a book by its cover less." he would confess in a casual discussion between you two.

୨୧ I think he would ask you out by gifting you a head with a note attached written: "will you steal organs with me?" real cheesy but creepy.

୨୧ He used uber on you once, not really a good idea... for the enemy team.

୨୧ You were tearing bitches left and right, there was guts and blood everywhere, in your face, body, floors, walls, EVERYWHERE.

୨୧ You only stopped when you met your demise, and medic was admiring you the entire time.

୨୧ Medic likes your killer-machine behavior, he says it adds to your cuteness ♡

[fruskyterceol]

Head canons:

Cloak and Dagger was made because Spy nearly seen by either Scout or Scout’s brothers while in the same room as Scout’s mam

When Pyro first joined and learnt about sapping, he cried when he saw the sapped sentry (either because pyro vision or feeling like he let Engie down) and Engie built another Sentry only because Pyro was sad

Medic and Demo have the inside joke of being with the same woman so that domination line from Demo was more a joke than anything

Medic only married a woman to seem straight because of how closeted he was back in the….Germany times so him stealing that skeleton and fleeing Germany was slightly reliving because he either finally accepted he liked men or he just found out that he was

Sniper is blue yellow colourblind (I have a post based on that), ie, Tritanopia so when he got a matching pair of his dad’s sunglasses, it was colour blind accessible

Heavy has scared Soldier before by singing Russian songs once, so it was just Heavy singing Khachaturian's Sabre Dance as Soldier was chanting ‘U.S.A’ exorcist style with probably the disciplinary action

[thepaintedsable]

My sketchbook is a mess. Everything is one good sneeze from flying away. ANYWAYS TF2 YAY YIPPEEE!!!

I made them animals because it brings be joy and also I couldn’t get fake lizard Pyro out of my head and that obviously meant he needed a whole team to match.

I’d like to think that reptiles are just normal animals in whatever world this is, so Pyro is fooling nobody and is also extremely scary. Why are you so tall, lizard boy? Stop that.

Also coyote Spy and coydog Scout. These two are very not related as you can clearly tell. Not one bit of resemblance whatsoever no sir.

“Skink” Pyro, Coyote Spy, Coydog Scout, Kangaroo Sniper, Stoat Medic, Bear Heavy, Mule Soldier, and Ram Demo.

Pyro was the most obvious to me. I may or may not have chosen my favorite lizard just because they are both very cool and extremely elusive to me. I know nothing about these guys (I could fix this, but I don’t) yet I smile every time I see one. They’re just silly. 5 banded because of the fun coloration!

Coyote Spy and Coydog Scout go hand in hand in terms of choice, here. I wanted a wild-type animal for Spy and some sort of mix for Scout, preferably something that could be written off but is way too coincidental when they’re next to each other lmfao. I really liked the Zorse/Zebra idea but I felt like I couldn’t have that with Mule Soldier.

Sniper is only a Kangaroo because I can’t draw a kea or a kākāpō. I will continue to figure out how to draw a kea and/or a kākāpō and also shape it properly to Snipers long face, so help me god. They’re birds native to New Zealand (Sniper was born in New Zealand), threatened to critically endangered (Sniper is, very technically in TF2, one of the last New Zealanders alive if you think about it), and he stuck out compared to his folks in Australia. Also I think he should have the right to dismantle a car (Keas are very smart :) )

STOAT MEDIC!!!! Or honestly any weasel, ferret, or martin. They are sneaky, intelligent hunters, and generally spook me. That there is a snake with fur and also has managed to take our multiple populations in multiple areas because we keep putting them places. I think a weasel would steal souls.

Bear Heavy.

Mule Soldier! The US Army mascot is a Mule, and considering how military-crazed soldier is I think it was a good fit. Coulda also done a bulldog, but his name is “soldier” not “marine”.

And Demo still needs some work because I am not at all happy with his design! Yippee!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

One to Start, Two to...

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Commissioned by an anonymous user. It's been years since the League won the war and took over Japan. Years of them working to rebuild a government and ensure the future they always dreamed of stays in their grasp. And, maybe, Dabi and Tomura have been working a lot. Maybe they do need a break, but Dabi can still be a little annoyed that he's being shipped off on vacation by force. Fine. Whatever. At least his dom has a few very good ideas about how they can pass the time.

Contents: BDSM, TPE, sub training, coming on command, begging, overstimulation, praise kink, collars, clicker training, blowjobs, multiple orgasms, coming untouched, anal fingering, anal sex, cum as lube, creampie

Word Count: 7,785

Winning the war looked a lot less like a war, and a lot more like... a coupe. Dabi really hadn't expected that. But then again, he hadn't expected Shigaraki to come back to them mere hours after he was supposed to leave for his four month long treatment, holding the doctor's head in one hand, and demand that they start putting together a squad to bring him to Tartarus so that he could destroy it and his teacher inside in one fell swoop. They had talked him down from that while they figured out if whatever the doctor injected in him was going to do long-term damage, but thankfully, there were other medics in the PLF and they had gotten him snuck into a hospital and helped him to get fixed up. And when he was clear-headed again, Shig had told the League that Ujiko had been trying to groom him into being AFO's next body, and that he had felt his teacher starting to exert his influence on his mind when he started going into the suspended animation, and had rebelled against all of the drugs and shattered the tube before he could be completely sedated. He wanted AFO's real body killed so he wouldn't be able to make that transfer between them. 

So they got him better, finished getting their troops ready, and they struck. Going for Tartarus first was not what anyone was expecting from them, and Dabi is glad that they had decided to act within days of Shig breaking away from AFO's control, because as they moved, it became clear that the heroes, led by the worst fucking spy Dabi had ever met, were deciding to mobilize as well while Shig wasn't around. So they hit their bases-- and left all of the public infrastructures open as the PLF was away, taking over the government, destroying the HPSC, and tearing down their agencies. And even without being a nomu, Shigaraki was so much more powerful with what little access he had to the All For One quirk, and after stealing Johnny's, it really didn't take much for them to be zapping around the country to get done what they needed to. Duster might have puked his guts out teleporting people everywhere while he was hanging on to Tartarus and making sure that everyone inside of the building, but especially his teacher, turned to dust, but it was more than effective in the end. He, Toga, and Jin had gone to the Tochō and had held everyone hostage as Dabi aired his video and put the public even more on their back-foot as he challenged his father to come to the building and fight him personally. He would kill him in front of the entire world. 

And he did. Not without a hell of a fight. Not without getting badly burned. Not without thinking that he was gonna die. But he hadn't because Toga and Twice had been there in the immediate aftermath. He made a double of Dabi so that Toga could drink his blood, and then she'd given him a transfusion to keep him alive until Shigaraki was able to teleport him for medical care. And he'd been out for months in a tank of his own, not becoming a nomu, but getting healed as much as he could. And during those months, the fighting, apparently, was swift, decisive, and brutal. Shigaraki had all of the rest of the top ten gathered and he executed them one-by-one onstage, ending with Hawks who he burned instead of Decaying in Dabi's honor, since he knew that Dabi would have wanted to kill the double agent himself if he'd been able to. 

That still didn't break the other heroes and those who still wanted to fight, but the PLF had people in every industry in Japan, and it was easy for them to continue to spread discontent, for them to find the families of the most staunch do-gooders, and bring them on-stage for execution next. And of course those heroes rushed in to save them. And of course, with their numbers, the nomu, Twice, and Shigaraki, they were able to capture their enemies. Duster was more merciful once the government caved after that, one he became king and he killed the heroes from America who were sent to try and stop him, and he just took every quirk that anyone who opposed him had. It had been a complete accident that he'd taken the brother quirk to One For All from the freckled kid Toga liked, but doing that had stabilized both quirks and made him all the more powerful, no nomuification necessary. 

Dabi slept through all of that, and when he woke it was to the new king of Japan asleep with his head on the edge of Dabi's hospital bed, the country in transition to his power, and the realization that he was going to live to see it all. 

That was five years ago. Four years of destroying any skirmishes that cropped up, changing the government structure, legislation, making Japan different. Theirs. It was four years of hard work and there wasn't really any way that would ever stop, running a country doesn't ever stop, the work just changes. But the changes now are aiming to make sure that there are systems in place that will hold up even when the League isn't around. They won't be forever, but they do want to ensure that the government they're building will outlive them. That means that they can't be the only ones in charge forever, and very slowly, they loosen their hold on the reigns in the hope that they didn't completely fuck this up the way so many of them have fucked up everything else in their lives. And over two months, six, ten, things don't fall apart. He and the rest of the League are still wary of assassination attempts, but Japan is... stable. It's alright, the world doesn't collapse. 

And it's when they're finally letting up a little, Shigaraki asks to see him for something other than work. Dabi is so glad that Shig teleported them out of the palace without telling the others where they were going, because if they were anywhere in earshot when Shigaraki confessed to him and heard the absolutely indignant squeak that came out of him as he finally realized why Shig kept him as his right-hand man and went through so much trouble to keep him alive, he never would have lived it down. He also wouldn't have lived it down when he had stuttered out something about being flattered but not feeling the same way, only for Shigaraki to smile at him and tell him that he would, and then invite him to have dinner. He had been entirely sure things would be weird after that, that Shig would be annoyed, or hurt by the rejection, but he hadn't been. He had gone on with business as usual, but he had kept asking Dabi out on little 'dates'. And Dabi said 'no' a lot. He said it so often that Shigaraki had asked him why he was saying it. If he really didn't want to pursue any kind of romantic relationship with him, or if he was just saying it because he hadn't ever thought that he would live long enough to have those kinds of things. Dabi had set him on fire. Not like it hurt him anymore with so many quirks he's practically a god. 

But that made him think, that made him eventually try to figure out what he was going to do outside of running the country, outside of his revenge now that he has it. It still took another month, Shigaraki not asking him about anything romantic anymore, before he had humiliated himself and gone to ask him out instead. Everything between them after that was a wildfire. Dabi was already well aware that he was big emotions, Shigaraki was too, and the two of them just saying 'fuck it' and going for them with abandon had been, well, a lot. It was all good, but it was certainly a lot. They got sunk deeply into the emotional side of things much faster than Dabi had even thought possible, and then the physical aspect had only gotten better and more and more... unconventional. Dabi is very glad that the rest of the world doesn't know about their relationship, that no one, not even Toga, will mention they're anything other than co-workers in front of mixed company, because he does not want anyone to put any scrutiny on the sudden addition of a dog collar that he's been wearing for a while now. 

///

It's been four years, ten months, and eighteen days since anyone has started even the most meager uprising. Everything has been running smoothly and that means that he and Shigaraki are being forced to take a real break for a while. Shigaraki may be the king, but they have a council, and the council has a parliament. There are things that are being done and plenty of people who are working to ensure that nothing goes wrong, and the four years, ten months, and eighteen days of peace suggest that all of those systems are working successfully to that end. So he and Tomura are being forced to go off on vacation for–

"What do you mean two months?" Dabi barks at the rest of the League who are all standing a decent distance away just in case he decides to lob a fireball at them for the suggestion. 

"You two are always working! You got married and didn't even stop! Go on your honeymoon!" 

Dabi's face goes bright red under his scars, "We did not get married!" 

Shigaraki clears his throat slightly and Dabi whips around to look at him, and his lover just scratches his neck lightly. It's not something that would draw anyone else's attention given how badly he used to tear at his skin, but he immediately connects the dots. Toga definitely asked Shig about the collar when Dabi started wearing it, and Duster must've told her that he didn't like rings because they got too hot and burned him from using his quirk. He knows that Shig is genuinely just waiting with baited breath for long enough to pass so he can actually propose to Dabi without getting lit on fire for doing it too soon, so telling Toga he gave him a 'necklace' instead of an engagement ring or wedding band must have seemed perfectly reasonable to him. 

"I hate you all, you should have let me die." 

"Don't say that," Mister titters, "And everything will be under control while you two are gone. Jin will be maintaining a set of doubles for public appearances and council meetings, so you two will always have your opinions heard during the discussions." 

"You guys can go relax and be gross and we'll hold down the fort." Spinner adds. 

Dabi opens his mouth to protest. Shigaraki is the king and he can't just leave for two months and hope nothing goes wrong. That would be insane-- Tomura's hand, still deadly, but only when he wants it to be, covers Dabi's mouth before he can protest further. "We appreciate your hard work and trust that you'll call us if you need us." 

"You got it, my king." Toga teases. 

"Behave yourselves while we're gone." 

"Sure thing! Don't tell me what to do! You're not my real dad!" 

Tomura huffs softly and teleports them out of the palace, only taking his hand away from his mouth when the liquid for the quirk needs to come out. 

///

Duster, evidently, already packed things up that he wanted to bring with them for the time, and the house they end up at is beautiful. It's a lavish, airy villa on top of a seaside cliff with a big kitchen and a serine sunroom, and Dabi promptly ignores Shigaraki immediately for kidnapping him, but it's very hard to stay angry after a full day in the house, far away from everyone else, no work that they have to do, no constant struggle to survive. He stops ignoring Shig after a day, but he actually relaxes and realizes that he can breathe again after three. He can breathe and the morning of the fourth day he curls up against Tomura's chest and asks, 

"What are we gonna do today, Sir?" 

That earns him a soft smile and his lover's hand cupping his cheek. "I think that we should start training you properly for when we're alone. Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to think about anything besides being good for me when we're not working?" 

"Yes, Sir." Just the fleeting thought of it is enough to have his mind going soupy. He didn't really have romantic relationships before Tomura, and the handful of sexual encounters he got into always were fast, rough, and he was usually the one in charge because he didn't trust other people to not fuck up his delicate scars. But it's different with Tomura and Dabi loves being his sub. They've talked plenty before about eventually having a 24/7 Total Power Exchange dynamic. But things were too hectic at home for either of them to feel like that wouldn't be asking for something to go wrong and drop one or both of them. But... two months alone like this? There really isn't a better place for it. 

Tomura gives him a kiss and Dabi melts. He can do whatever Sir asks. He'll prove that he's a perfect sub. 

///

Dabi is given new rules as they start his training. He speaks when spoken to, he kneels unless he's invited to sit on furniture with his dom, he does the domestic chores, and Tomura is in charge of his schedule completely. This is training to be a slave, but Tomura does use a clicker from their petplay to help to reinforce the rules. A year ago Dabi would have thought this treatment would be beyond degrading. But now, he follows all of the rules readily. He likes kneeling on the floor at Tomura's feet. Sir got him a special cushion, he lets him rest his head against his knee, and when he's being very good, Tomura strokes his hair while they sit too. There's also a... not significant amount of weight that is taken off of his shoulders with Sir planning his every activity throughout the day. He was so lost outside of work when he came back from the dead for the second time. He kept thinking that he needed to push himself training at all hours, but he trained enough. He beat Enji, he's maintaining his strength and health even better now that he's not on the run, he didn't need to keep trying to break himself with the work to just feel like he was worthy of living. And all of this is made easier to cope with when Tomura takes charge and tells him how to live. 

Tomura has gotten him a big water bottle that has the measurements on the side and that pings his phone so that he can see how much water he's actually getting. He helps him to pick out meals that are balanced and will keep them both healthy after the absolute mess their diets had been up until they took over the country. He makes sure that Dabi is stretching, applying the medicine to his skin, and keeping track of how much sleep that he's getting. And whenever he's being good, Tomura clicks the little clicker and Dabi immediately perks up like a dog because each little click means, 

"There, you did such a good job making sure you drank enough today. My good boy, and good boys get rewards." 'Rewards' range from actual presents, to getting special treatment in bed, and Dabi's body always goes warmer whenever the other clicks the toy. 

But he gets much, much warmer tonight when Tomura tells him that and then threads his hand through Dabi's hair, coaxing him lower. It is a reward to get to lick and kiss over the bulge in Sir's pants, his head going foggy at even just the first suggestion of getting to fill his mouth. “Manners, baby.” 

“Please let me suck your cock, Sir.” It’s so easy to remember his manners and plead. It makes Sir happy, and that makes the reward even sweeter. 

“Very good, precious.” 

Tomura lets him open his pants and Dabi does his best not to drool too much as he moves his mouth over his cock. One of Tomura's hands goes to his hair and he strokes and pets through the locks as Dabi kneels on his special cushion and starts to feed his cock between his lips. He never gets tired of having his lover's cock in his mouth. It fills him, and the weight of him on his tongue helps him to feel like he's being rooted in the pleasure that pulses through him over being useful for Sir. He always likes to be useful and to make him feel good, and he loves that Tomura takes his pleasure from this, all the while knowing that it's one of the things they do that makes him so hot as well. He hasn't even gotten the other in his throat before his own cock starts to harden. 

Dabi swirls his tongue over the other's head, making sure that he rolls his stud over his slit, using the little ball to press in teasingly like a pearl sound, before he sucks at the skin. Tomura pets him, humming softly in the back of his throat with his satisfaction, which only serves to make Dabi feel even warmer as he continues to move. This is his reward which means that he can take things at whatever pace he wants to. But with his own building arousal, Dabi can only find it in him to take it slow for a little while. He wants to make it good and he can't be patient for that. So he sinks his lover's cock deeper into his mouth and starts to suck and swallow around him more deliberately. 

"Greedy boy," the words drip with Tomura's satisfaction and Dabi does his best to stay focused and not reach a hand to stroke at his own cock, hard and leaking in his pants as he's able to be a good boy, even if he is being a greedy one too. He is allowed to be greedy right now. He's being rewarded. He feeds the other's cock into his throat and feels it stretch to accommodate him, looking up to see his lover's dark, satisfied eyes as he gives the first full swallow around his length. Worth everything that it took to get them here to have Tomura's cock in his throat and red eyes looking at him like he's worth more than his whole kingdom. Dabi whines, desperate to get more of that, desperate to prove how good and perfect he can be, and his lover smiles at him as he strokes his hair. "It's alright, baby, you can be greedy. Just means that I get to spoil you even more." 

Dabi likes the way that sounds, so he takes whatever he can. He opens his throat eagerly and he tries to swallow him up as much as he can. He lets his lips stretch and ache with the way the other is in his throat, he lets himself moan and whine around the movements, not just to give him those pleasant vibrations, but also to let Sir hear how much he likes it, how hot it's making him to get to suck him off. And when he starts to taste his pre on the back of his tongue, Dabi starts to shift a little from how hard he is too, his arousal so pressing that he's making a wet spot on his pants. But he's not allowed to touch himself without permission, and Tomura is still being gentle and hasn't tangled his hand in Dabi's hair and pulled him in tight to fuck his face like he's nothing but a toy, which means he's not able to find his orgasm at the same time as his lover as he sinks him deep into his throat and spills there, his cock twitching against his tongue. Dabi swallows away his cum and stays warming his cock and trembling with his own need until Sir strokes his hair and says, 

"Perfect, firefly. Let me see." 

He only pulls off then, letting Sir tuck himself away as he leans back and opens up his own pants, stained from how badly he's leaking, and once he's exposed, he forces himself to put his hands back flat against his thighs. 

"You're getting so well-trained, baby boy." The praise immediately makes him whimper as another bead of precum drips from his head. "Alright, you can touch yourself now. But you can't cum until I give you permission." 

"Thank you, Sir." It's torture to gather the slickness from his cock and use that to touch himself, his skin already hot with his quirk and nerves so sensitive that he's worried that even just the first stroke is going to do him in. But he holds on, stroking along his length, unable to stop the moans and whines that are coming out of him as he does. 

"You're already so wet, sweetheart." Tomura teases. "Always get so wet just from having a cock in your pretty mouth." 

"Yes, Sir." He agrees breathlessly. He is so hot now that he can't help the trickle of smoke leaking out from his cheeks. 

"I'm going to let you cum soon, baby. All you have to do is wait for me to click twice, and then you can. Okay?"

"Yes, Sir." 

Tomura still makes him hold on for another few minutes, desperation building and building, to the point that as soon as he hears the double clicks, it doesn't even take a full stroke before he's cumming all over his hand and staining his clothes even worse. Not that he cares. He's too busy trembling through the waves of pleasure that are going through him, only heightened even more when Tomura easily pulls him up from the floor, sits him in his lap, and sinks his cock inside of him to fuck him straight through to a second orgasm before he can even fully make sense of what's going on. He's so hazy with it, Dabi doesn't even notice that the clicker gets used again before he cums for the second time. 

///

Dabi gets so used to his training that Tomura has to start training him to have time where he will likely have work and not be able to be around Tomura for stretches of time when they go home. He manages to make this work by assigning Dabi a few hours of 'free time' a day where he has to go somewhere else in the house and entertain himself for that period. Dabi usually uses that time to read or scroll on his phone to see how things are outside of their little vacation. They may not be directly involved with things for the time being, but he wants to know what things look like with them gone. There is a sharp spark of pride in him that things are... getting better. There was a lot of mess when they first took over and there is still so much that has to be maintained to ensure that an entire country stays on the right track, but it's working. They don't seem to be seconds away from a coup at any second. Things are okay. And that only helps Dabi to relax even more. 

He didn't really have hobbies outside of stalking his father's hero career, so he asked Tomura to pick something out for him to learn, and after a few days, his lover comes back with a set of paints and a paper block that can be separated into individual sheets when he's finished with it. He doesn't know if he has an artistic bone in his body and says as much, but Duster just presses a kiss to his temple and asks him to give it a try, paint whatever he wants, the sea, people, something made up, what he's feeling, whatever. Just try for a few days and if he doesn't like it, he can find something else to do. Dabi realizes then that this must be some kind of bullshit therapy thing that the other wants him to try. They got a therapist for Jin after everything to help him get his head on a little straighter, and it has been... helping. He thinks Toga has started seeing someone too. Dabi doesn't want to use this to get out the echoes of his trauma, so he pulls up painting tutorials on his phone and he starts with an apple. The pad of paper had twenty sheets, and in two days he painted twenty apples. He paints them until he thinks he gets how to layer the paint, how the colors blend, where the contrast is supposed to go. They're not good, and Dabi orders more materials, different paints, still acrylic, but with a retarder so that he can have more time to control how they blend, a pallet, and brushes that aren't going to disintegrate as they're used. Dabi doesn't know why he is putting so much effort in, but he can't bring himself to stop once he's started. 

It's during his 'free time', painting in the sunroom that he's claimed as his makeshift studio, when his lover comes into the room. Dabi immediately starts to set the brush aside, thinking that he's somehow managed to stay for too long and not abide by the rest of his schedule, but his lover pauses him easily. "You're fine, pretty boy." He says as he sits down on one of the benches lining the room, "I just wanted to get some sun too. Keep working, you're doing such a good job, firefly." 

He's more than happy to have the company as he works, but a fresh jolt of pleasure goes through his body as the other sits, pairing the praise with a little click. It makes his skin a little warmer and Dabi tries to focus. It's not playtime right now, he's supposed to be a good boy and try to enjoy the project he's working on.  "Thank you, Sir." 

Tomura smiles at him and Dabi tries to turn his attention back to the painting as his lover taps away at the game on his phone. He doesn't think that he's going to be good at painting by the time they go back home, but he... doesn't hate it. It's nice to have something to learn that isn't going to be life or death. He isn't going to have their new government fall apart if he makes a mistake, he isn't going to lose the most important fight in his life if he does this wrong. He can play with the paint on the wood boards he's gotten, feeling it move underneath knives and brushes. He can try things, hate them, and try again. That is nice. There is something... soothing in the action, though he certainly won't be telling Tomura that. 

"You've gotten so much better in such a short amount of time, firefly. You really can do anything you set your mind to, can't you?" He clicks again as he gives him the praise and Dabi shivers slightly despite his temperature creeping up a little more. 

"I try, Sir." 

"I know, baby. It makes me so proud of you." He clicks again and Dabi bites his lip as his body seems to think that it's time for them to play. It's not though, and when he turns to look at Sir, he's paying attention to his phone again, just idly fiddling with the clicker in his other hand. Dabi isn't allowed to ask to play or for rewards throughout the day. He only gets what Sir says that he's earned. He doesn't want to get in trouble for asking for anything more. So he goes back to painting. 

The heat is still under his skin as he works, and he reaches for his water bottle, trying to cool down with the icy water from inside. But when he takes the straw out of his mouth, the other man tells him, "Good job making sure you're getting your water in today, precious." And he clicks the toy. 

Dabi barely manages a, "Thank you, Sir." Again as he tries his best not to squirm as he feels not just heat, but genuine arousal starting to prickle his veins. It's so silly. He's not even being touched, the praise is not more than Tomura normally gives him during their play. It shouldn't be making him so hot, but it is making his skin prickle with need as he tries to focus on playing with the light and shadow in the painting. But it's so hard to focus on anything when he's wondering how good he will have to be for the rest of the day to get Sir to reward him tonight. He always earns a reward in some capacity, he always behaves himself, but he doesn't always get to be fucked hard or with rougher play. Those he really has to earn. And if he's getting this hot just from a little praise, he probably needs the harder play to make himself feel more satisfied. 

He tries to keep working, but Tomura keeps chiming in with little things. "You look so pretty in the light", "I'm so glad that we're here together", "You're everything that I want for the future, firefly", and he click, click, clicks with the device each time that he does. He clicks, and Dabi's whole body gets hotter, until he feels like he's suffocating in his thin t-shirt and sweats. Until he feels like his skin is itching with the need to be touched and his cock is, humiliatingly, starting to stir in his pants. He bites at his lip and tries so hard to focus, but he can't quite hide how his hand is starting to tremble around the brush when he tries to bring it back to the board. 

"What's wrong, beautiful? Am I making you nervous?" 

"N-no, Sir." He nearly winces as he stutters. 

"Are you lying to me, precious?" Tomura's voice is gently neutral, and Dabi knows he's going to be punished one way or another anyway, so he sets the brush down in the dirty water cup and half turns to face him, his face burning as his shame goes so hot. "Oh, baby boy, look at that," Dabi keeps his head down, expecting to be reprimanded for being such a needy slut he couldn't even wait until tonight-- "You're doing such a good job with your training. Working even faster than I thought it would." 

Dabi's mind goes unhelpfully blank as he looks up. Tomura is smiling at him, smug and amused as he clicks again to accompany the praise. Brought him here, set out the rules, started using the clicker. Every time he did well, he got his reward, either physical or praise and the reward always came with a click of the device. It was easy to do well when the rewards made him feel so good. 

"I wonder how well-behaved you can be for me." Tomura says. "Why don't you show me? Let me see all of your pretty skin, firefly." 

Dabi's arousal and humiliation both sit under his skin, and the former pushes him up from the chair so that he can pull off his shirt and peel his pants down his legs. Stripping his clothes only makes the arousal even worse, his body now thinking that he is absolutely going to be getting a physical reward even as Dabi isn't sure about that. This is a different kind of training and game than he thought that they were playing, he doesn't know what to think of this one. 

"There, absolutely stunning, precious. I love how the light dances over your skin, and you're doing such a good job of following orders. I'm so proud of you." He clicks the toy again and Dabi whimpers as his cock swells a little more without even being touched. That has Tomura's eyes going even hotter on him. "Come here, baby." 

He crosses the room in an instant, ready to get touches, kisses, to have the other's cock inside of him wherever he can get it, it doesn't matter. He just knows he needs something as he goes so warm. But Tomura doesn't let him kiss, doesn't let him touch when he gets close enough. He catches Dabi around his hips and turns him around before pulling him down into his lap. Dabi presses his back against his chest, tilting his head too so that he can nose up along his neck, wanting to get his mouth on the other's skin. 

"Patience, firefly." Tomura commands, one hand moving to curl over Dabi's thigh. Even just that steadying touch has Dabi moaning as he tries to grind back to feel if Tomura's cock is hardening yet. "I want to see your training at work." Dabi thought he was already showing that just by getting so hot from the praise and clicker alone. But he tries to be good to earn more of it. "What are you feeling, sweetheart?" 

"Warm, Sir." 

"Yeah?" 

Dabi manages a weak nod. "Like you've been touching me all over. Want you to touch me, Sir." 

"I've barely touched you yet." He traces the fingers up his thigh even more lightly. "Tell me what you want, and I'll think about your reward, precious." 

"Want you to touch my cock," he begs, knowing that he won't get it at all if he's not specific. Tomura hums, tilting his head so that he can press soft kisses along the side of Dabi's neck and over his shoulder. "W-want Sir's cock inside. Want you to make me feel good and fill me up, please." Sir puts his hand over Dabi's stomach and Dabi does his best not to whine when he does, having thought the shifting touch meant that he was going to get his hand where he wanted it. 

"You're being such a good boy following my orders." Tomura tells him, pairing the praise with another click and Dabi can't help moaning as his cock twitches like he was touched. Oh god, he really has been trained like a dog, hasn't he? That embarrassment only makes him feel even hotter and Dabi finds himself trembling in the other's lap. "Such a good boy, always listening to me so well." The amusement is dripping off of Tomura's tongue as he rubs his thumb over his seam. "So responsive and ready to do whatever you're told as long as I'm promising that it will feel good in the end, isn't that right?" 

"Yes, Sir," he croaks. 

"I'm going to make you feel good, baby. You've proved that you're absolutely perfect. You've more than earned a reward, and I'm not even going to have to touch your pretty cock to give you one." He promises. "I'm just going to tell you how lovely you are dripping like that, so needy for anything that you can get with just a click of a button--" he clicks again and Dabi gasps. The device might as well be a dial that he's ratcheting higher and higher on his arousal with every time he clicks it. He's getting warmer, wetter as pre beads and drips along his length. 

"Sir," he whines. 

"What? Does it not feel good? Aren't you having fun, precious? I know how much you like it when I give you all of my attention and make your body do whatever I tell it to. It's going to be so nice to have you trained so well. You already do everything you're told, but I'm going to enjoy being able to click a button and watch as you start to tremble and moan as your cute cock strains your pants. I wonder if I'll even need to use words after a little while." He hums. "Maybe I'll be able to just click," he does it again and Dabi moans. Fuck, fuck, fuck, it's all in his head, he knows it's all just in his head, but it doesn't matter. It's still making him hotter as the other does it. It's making him ache from how hard he is now. "And you'll get so hot that you drop to your knees in front of everyone just to get more. Maybe," he clicks again and Dabi twists in his lap, not sure if he's trying to get away or get closer to the other and the agony of arousal burning in his veins. "I'll get to show everyone else what a well-trained pet you are now as you writhe without a touch, and cum like that just from the memory of all the times I've had my hands on you." 

There's no way that he would be able to-- Tomura kisses his shoulder, holds the clicker high enough so that Dabi can see it, and he gives it two pushes in quick succession. There is a split second where Dabi hears those double clicks and remembers all of the times in the past month that his lover has clicked the toy like that every time Dabi came. Embarrassed indignance surges through him for a split second-- but that is all he has time for before his head is back against Sir's shoulder and he's crying out as his orgasm pulses through him and stripes cum up over his stomach without a single touch against his cock. 

Dabi is gasping for breath, trying to find enough of it so that he can curse out his lover for training him like a dog instead of a sub, but he doesn't get the chance, Tomura's hand is going to his stomach again, gathering his cum and then shifting him in his lap so that he can use it to open him up. He jolts, his nerves all sharply oversensitive from how quickly that touch comes after his orgasm, but Tomura is kissing his cheek and murmuring, "See? Such a good boy. Absolutely perfect." He clicks once and Dabi yelps as a sharper pang of arousal hits his nerves. No. Surely not-- "And I know you're going to keep being perfect for me." He rubs his fingers over him again and then starts to press one inside. 

Dabi's body opens eagerly for the touch. He's always eager for his lover's touch, and he figures out how to get his knees on the bench on either side of Sir's legs so that he can lift himself a bit from his lap, using the leverage to help the digits go deeper and stroke against his prostate. And he gets rewarded for every movement he makes to try and have more as he feels Sir's cock so hard against him. Little clicks when he rubs against his prostate,

“Ah! S-Sir, please” his nerves are stinging with how sharp the arousal is in the wake of his orgasm. That sensation only gets worse as his body forces him hard again so fast hearing every click of reward that is made. He doesn't know the last time he felt so overwhelmed by Tomura in bed that he thought he might set fire to them both, but he's very glad they're in the sunroom right now because the open windows are letting the smoke spill out from inside of the walls. He is opened so easily, so fully, and Dabi doesn't remember to be annoyed about the clicker because he is being hardwired to hear every click and know that he's getting more pleasure, a bigger reward. 

"What do you want, precious?" His voice lower and rough with his own arousal and Dabi wants–

"Your cock, please, please, please! Please, Sir, please fill me up with your cock. I need it, please, Sir! I'll be good!" 

Tomura's lips curl up into the ghost of a smile and he pumps three fingers into Dabi's body again just to hear him keen before he murmurs, "You are, listening to all of the rules, making sure you're behaving. You can't ever be anything but my good boy, sweetheart." But he doesn't click until his fingers have pulled out of Dabi's body and the head of his cock is pressing in instead. He does his best to not lower himself onto him immediately, not having gotten permission for that, but he can't help whining desperately as he waits to get more. 

Tomura lets him lower himself by inches, and only then wraps a hand around his waist so that he can still control how quickly Dabi pushes himself back up. He decides where his weight sits and how much of an angle they are at. Sir decides what's best for him. And he's right to put Dabi at the hard pace that he settles on, using his strength to help bring Dabi down into his lap at a steady rhythm, but one that is hard enough that he might have bruises on the backs of his thighs before he's finished. He doesn't care. He'd happily tear himself open if it meant that he could keep feeling the stretch of his cock inside and every sharp spark of pleasure that races over his nerves each time he's lowered again. He still hasn't been given a single touch against his dick, and he knows that he's not going to need it. He is already melting from how good it feels to be fucked like this, a hand on him would just bring him to his completion embarrassingly quickly despite already having been spent, each fresh movement making his body painfully aware of how soon it is to have so much in the wake of his first orgasm.

He still doesn't manage to hold on long as Tomura kisses at his neck, one arm around his middle to keep him moving at the pace he wants, and the other hand bringing the clicker in front of his face. Dabi whimpers, shaking his head weakly. He knows his lover can’t be close yet and if he cums again now, the oversensitivity will only get worse as he’s fucked through until he’s ready to spill. "What's wrong, baby boy? Don't you want to feel good? Aren't you excited to get rewarded for your good behavior?" 

But he can't contradict Sir. Can't talk back or disobey the rules unless he's using a safe word, and the embarrassment in him isn't the kind of discomfort that would beg him to do that. "Yes, Sir." He croaks again. 

"Good, and you're going to prove it in one," he fucks up into his body a little harder, a little faster, "Two," and his fingers across his side press into the sensitive seam of his scars to put fresh fireworks behind his eyes, "Three." He clicks the device twice and Dabi's balls draw tight as they spill a more modest splash of cum over his stomach as he's brought over the edge again, undeniably, by that sound. His hole clenches tighter around Sir's cock as his whole body tenses with his orgasm, and then melts into a warm, satisfied goo that makes it so hard for him to try to keep moving against him. It doesn't matter though, Sir is strong enough to keep him doing what he wants, and he brings his body up and down on his length for several minutes, until Dabi is thrashing weakly and sobbing from how over-sensitive his hole is, before he slams his down and fills him up to the brim with his cum. 

Dabi feels dizzy as he lays back against his lover's chest with cum smeared all over his skin. It takes a while for him to catch his breath and remember how to think, but he does eventually turn his face into Tomura's neck and mumble, "Can I talk, Sir?" He's to speak when spoken to and he's supposed to be sweet and submissive when they're playing. 

"Of course you can, firefly." But Tomura never makes him hold that if he has something that he really wants to say. He may love to be completely in control of Dabi and love to sculpt him to his will, but he doesn't actually want to make Dabi something that he's not. 

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He snaps with as much vitriol as he can manage. Tomura immediately lets out a burst of laughter as he encircles him with both arms as he kisses the top of his head. 

"But it's working so well--" 

"Too well! Do you know how much Compress fiddles with his pens during meetings?! I'm going to be in a puddle of cum at the end of them if you clicker train me for that!" If anything that only makes his lover laugh a little harder. "You can't use a clicker!" 

"Alright, alright. We'll switch to something else. I don't want you to end up getting so needy for anyone else." Tomura kisses his cheek too. "But you liked it otherwise?" 

Dabi's face gets even hotter. "... You're such a perverted freak." 

"Dabi." There is warning in his tone now. He is supposed to be honest about what he likes and doesn't like when it comes to these things. 

"... I like it when you make me perfect for you." 

That earns him a hand on his chin, turning him back so that Sir can kiss his lips slowly and deeply. He rests their foreheads together when they part and murmurs, "You're already perfect for me, firefly. Now we're just modding." 

He's a fucking nerd, Dabi thinks with warmth inside of his chest. He's a nerdy gamer, the person who tore down hero society in Japan, the king, and the person that Dabi is happy to give himself up to completely. They're rebuilding everything so that it fits with the world they wanted to see. He doesn't think he should be surprised that his lover is having fun teasing and adjusting him throughout their play to get Dabi acting the way he wants as well. And if it's going to be things like this that bring him so much ecstasy, Dabi is certainly not going to complain. 

Thanks for reading!

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

continuation of this story that is still as yet untitled but has been labeled as #FreeRei in my notes app

The fact that Rei had nothing in the way of backpacks, bags, or even a purse due to her seemingly permanent residency at the hospital was both a blessing and a curse.

Navigating the ledge and tree back down to the ground with his mother in tow was a harrowing enough task without luggage complicating matters, though not quite as difficult as Dabi had assumed because apparently his mother was nimble as all hell.

"The hospital offers pilates classes." she told him as he helped her cross from the ledge to a large sturdy branch of the tree. "I go every day, I thought it would be smart to stay in good shape in case I got the chance to escape." she giggled airily. "I guess my instincts were right."

However she now had nothing to her name but the clothes on her back, meaning Dabi was going to have to steal her a bunch of new clothes and shit while trying to lay low and not draw attention to himself because he just kidnapped the number 1 hero's wife.

This is the stupidest thing you've ever done you soft piece of shit, she says a few nice words and you melt into a fucking puddle, pathetic.

Rei left the lump of pillows she had stashed under her bedcovers in place so Dabi knew they had at least until morning before she would be reported missing, enough time to drop into a 24hr corner store and grab a few essentials.

He zipped his collar up over his chin and pulled on his black cloth facemask and hood before going into the thankfully empty store, he wasn't sure if having a gently smiling older woman on his arm made him seem more or less suspicious with his face as hidden as it was. Though in the end it mattered little as long as he wasn't recognised as Dabi, Rei having last been seen with a mysterious masked figure wouldn't be very useful information to anyone trying to find her, but Rei being seen with a member of the League of Villains could cause trouble.

Especially since they had The World's Most Obvious Spy in their midst.

Keeping the bird around had seemed like a good idea at the time, they always knew where the Commission's eyes were, and could feed him information as tainted as what he gave to them, and seeing as he hadn't ratted out their location (after a few trial runs at various decrepit fake bases) his goal seemed to amount to more than simply capturing the League.

But Dabi couldn't guarantee the Commission wouldn't cut their losses on the whole infiltration thing if they found out the League was harbouring someone of such a high profile, there was every chance raising the stakes this way could jeopardise their tentative safety with their hero mole. He was going to have to keep Hawks at arm's length for a while.

"What colour?" he asked Rei as she browsed the shelves for a toothbrush, almost giddy in excitement over something as simple as shopping for toiletries.

"Colour?" Rei asked, peering at the boxes in Dabi's hand.

"White hair's too eye catching and recognisable, if you want to go out in public you'll have to hide it." He held up the two boxes. "Red or black? Forget about blonde or brown, the cheap stuff doesn't set well in our hair."

Rei tapped on the box of black dye. "This one, so we match!" she smiled.

Dabi felt a sudden flood of something warm in his chest before mentally slapping himself and putting the red dye back.

Keep it together for fuck's sake you're a god damn villain, you have literally murdered people.

He smoothly slipped a couple of chocolate bars into his pockets and some wrapped sandwiches into his coat before heading to the counter with the hair dye, a toothbrush, and a packet of cheap medical face masks.

Rei grabbed at the items. "Oh can I buy them? Please?"

Her childlike wonder and excitement pulled at something in Dabi's chest, once upon a time it was him tugging at her sleeve and asking to pay for their groceries like a grown up. He could feel heat gathering beneath his skin.

Fuck he stole so much from us.

Dabi may have risen from the grave to a life of chronic pain in a fragile immunocompromised body that was kept alive by virtue of artificial quirk induced fevers and spite, but it was a price paid for the freedom his death had granted him. Rei was not awarded that luxury, fit and healthy she may be but her life had been reduced to barely more than a small box for over a decade, Dabi didn't know how it hadn't driven her even more batshit insane than Endeavor had.

Well, she did run off with a wanted criminal, maybe them docs didn't fix her up as well as they thought they did.

"I... yeah, yeah sure." he passed her the items and the last of the money in his pocket. "I need to make a call, meet me outside alright? Don't take too long."

Shiggy was gonna fucking dust him if he showed up with a stranger out of the blue, he was going to have to call ahead with some warning.

Shit, he really hadn't thought this through, at all, the League's base was the only safe place he could possibly take Rei and it was filled with unhinged lunatics that would probably scare the poor woman to death.

Although she had been married to a complete monster for half her life, and had enough guts to escape with a villain at the first opportunity. Maybe she wasn't any more frail than she was sane.

Maybe he broke you but he broke me too, yet here I am, parading around in this shattered husk, pretending I belong anywhere but six feet under.

Dabi had worked hard to maintain his mysterious image, the man with no name or past, a ghost in the system. It was necessary, a requirement for his master plan to have any kind of satisfying impact. He'd maintained the act for this long by keeping people at arm's length, trust no one and no one can betray you.

All of that would come crashing down if his mother spent any more than five fucking minutes with Himiko Toga.

The last thing he wanted was to drag his entire lifetime's worth of baggage into the League's hideout in one condensed human sized package, but he'd already started digging this hole, there wasn't anywhere left to go but down.

He opened his phone and scrolled down to 'Crusty Bitch' in his contacts before pressing call.

"Do you have any fucking idea what time it is?" Shigaraki's groggy voice poured through the phone like sand through an hourglass, grainy and impatient.

"I need a favour." Dabi said, his voice a careful mask of apathy.

"...Holy fuck you must be in real deep shit if you're asking me for a favour." Shigaraki said, the venom in his voice leeching away in his surprise. "The fuck have you gotten yourself into?"

"Aw you almost sound worried about me, that's adorable." Dabi smirked.

"Fuck you. I'm hanging up, sort out your own mess." Shigaraki snapped, all venom returning in an instant.

"Wait shit hold on, I'm-" Dabi ran a nervous hand through his hair as he watched his mother chat idly with the cashier through the store window. "I'm bringing a... friend... to the base, they need a safe place to crash and I need everyone to not ask questions."

"...You're fucking joking right? We're not a hotel Dabi, you can't just-"

"Please."

The phone fell dead silent for an agonising moment, Dabi's head fell back as he squeezed his eyes closed in silent prayer to whatever god might listen.

"Okay, you can bring them to the base, but you're going to tell me exactly what the fuck is going on. If I don't like their story I'm dusting this friend of yours where they stand, got it?"

Dabi let out a relieved breath he hadn't realised he was holding. The threat was an empty one, or at least it would be when Shigaraki discovered that Dabi's 'friend' was just an innocent civilian woman escaping a domestic abuser. The man was deranged but even he had some sympathy for those let down and left behind by hero society, it was why he tolerated the absolute lunacy of the dysfunctional codependent family he'd managed to form around himself.

"Got it, see you in an hour, and..." Dabi paused and rubbed at his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. "And thank you, I owe you one."

"Ugh, don't thank me, you'll give me hives."

part 3 ~

[th3tism]

Wsg homie, I'm back and ready for mischief (and to laugh my ass off) so, what would the mercs do if they saw their SO matching with Medic in a dress and heels (me and you both know he can probably walk in them) mercs spy, scout, engi, and soldier (add who ya want) thanks migo👍🏽

Dude I love the head cannon that medic can wear heels, idk why 😭

Mercs: scout, spy, engineer, soldier

Scout:

He's a little surprised that medic can walk in heels but he doesn't question it

Then he sees you

Oh boy.

His face turns bright red IMMEDIATELY

He thinks you look so pretty holy shit

You best believe you're getting your ass tapped by him

"hey, scout how do I look?"

"... Smash."

Soldier:

He never really saw the appeal of people in dresses and dressing up fancy and stuff

But then you did.

He understood.

He thought you looked absolutely stunning

"Hey, babe! How do I look?"

"Private... You are the finest piece of ass these American eyes have ever seen."

Spy:

He thinks you look really good

He probably steals a few glances as you talk to the other mercs in that outfit

You didn't have any time to ask him before that sneaky little bitch appeared behind you

"That dress looks wonderful on you, mon ami. Though I feel you'd look better without it."

And then he disappeared

Engineer:

He's gonna be the most wholesome guy about it

Just saying random compliments and praising how you look in it

"Hey, engi, what do ya think?"

"Darlin, I think you look prettier than a picture."

He'd probably also pull some shit scout did and slap your ass (gently ofc. He doesn't wanna bruise you or anything 💀)

[lyxurious]

So you like Luo Yunxi: A drama recommendation list

So you watched "Till the End of the Moon", and all you got is heartbreak, brainworms, and a shiny new lowkey or highkey obsession with Luo Yunxi (perhaps other people from the amazing cast too, but we're focusing on him here)? You want to see more of him, but you don't know where to start? Fear not, for this list is here to hopefully help you out with that.

Here be some (non-spoilery, but might mention if it generally ends well or not) spark notes on all his past dramas with him in the first male lead role, that are currently available with English subs (+ 2 very important supporting roles + 1 bonus). In chronological order, from most to least recent!

Light Chaser Rescue

Type: Modern, rescue missions, human drama, romance

Episodes: 40

Available at: WeTv, YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Jaded and cynical lawyer meets cute and icy doctor lady who is not here for his bs, and discovers the joys of love and most importantly, volunteer rescue work.

On the one hand: Detailed and extremely realistic scenes of all sorts of natural disasters happening. The production team collaborated with a real life team where anyone can volunteer and get training as a rescuer. They built a wholeass glacier for the final episodes and you could never tell it's fake looking at it even on HD. The side characters are mostly likeable (which is something you can't say for every drama), although flawed and human. FL is a cool-headed independent grownup woman who bottles up her feelings like a fine vintage.

On the other: The pacing is rather choppy and makes it feel like they planned out the disaster scenes/rescue missions first and everything else was added later to link said missions together and give the characters stuff to do in between. Since this is a drama and they have a limited cast, the team's abilities are a bit exaggerated at times (they turn up for everything that happens anywhere, doctor FL is a swiss army knife of specialties). Ending feels a bit abrupt.

Watch it if: You enjoy seeing Luo Yunxi suffer physically, you like stories with ordinary people being heroes while also remaining very much ordinary people.

Lie to Love

Type: Modern, romance, office, suspense

Episodes: 32

Available at: WeTV, YouTube

What's the deal? Local woman is convinced her one night stand during a mountain hike killed her father, so she returns after 2 years to go undercover in male nerdy Paris Hilton protagonist's glitzy hotel business and cancel his entire existence. Spoiler alert (but not really because this is actually not even the first 6 eps): he is a good guy and didn't do it and they fall in love and together they set out to uncover the truth and take down his shady uncle.

On the one hand: Objectively speaking, the plot for this is on the better side for a drama of its type. It's got suspense, it's got plot twists, it's got fluff, it's got drama, it's got more communication between the main CP than one would expect on a regular day, misunderstandings don't last long, the nice side characters are likeable, and 2nd ML is doing an incredible job at being a 2-faced creep. LYX is serving many a great business wear look in the 2nd half especially.

On the other: The FL is Cheng Xiao. A severely miscast Cheng Xiao in a role that is core in the plot and on paper, challenging. For fans, winner winner chicken dinner. For the rest of us, it's up to each viewer to decide if overall as a drama, the points in the above section are strong enough to balance this casting out.

Watch it if: You have a thing for men in suits and glasses (that makes two of us), you prefer ignoring the FL in dramas so you can make elaborate headcanons shipping the ML with the psycho stalker 2nd ML or the goofy rockstar 3rd ML instead.

Broker

Type: Modern, office, medical research, suspense, romance

Episodes: 42

Available at: YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Spy is ordered to infiltrate a lab and lowkey honey trap his way into stealing female scientist's multi-million research, is uno reverse carded when she fixes his broken heart and trust in humanity.

On the one hand: The rare case where he is a morally grey character in a modern setting. The other rare case where he gets to do action sequences in a modern setting. There's a shower sex scene (sit down, implied and partially dressed of course, this is still a cdrama), and one where he gets whipped on a table. There is a very badass sidekick girl who is just as broken as him if not worse, and very shippable with the FL's perky and spoiled little sister.

On the other: The premise is cool but sadly, there's way more filler office drama (in the lab) and 2nd CP being a frustrating snoozefest than spy activities. It's a drama that was held up for a long while in censorship limbo, and a considerable chunk of the ML's backstory and scenes were left in the editing room, which unfortunately throws the show off balance by a lot.

Watch it if: You are a diehard Luo Yunxi, Victoria Song or Xu Kaicheng completionist (in which case you have permission to come cry on my shoulder), you find yourself trapped in a cave, the rescue team is 48 hours away, and the only thing in there with you is a device that has no other data on it but all 42 episodes of Broker.

Love is Sweet

Type: Modern, romance, office

Episodes: 36

Available at: iQiyi, YouTube, amazon prime

What's the deal? Local woman applies for a job in huge investment banking company where she runs into her childhood friend -slash- nemesis after 10 years, they both gradually discover time makes people grow and occasionally fall deeply, ridiculously in love.

On the one hand: Sugar and fun and shoujo manga tropes aplenty! God tier CP chemistry! Some of the most epic makeouts to ever slip under the nose of the review committees. Characters that have actual profound growth under the "every romcom ever" cheeky banter. 2nd ML also offers shirtlessness and angsty backstory if you cannot live without those. There's even an adorable and very plot-relevant corgi!

On the other: The tremendous main CP chemistry has made this drama the exception for many who otherwise avoid both modern dramas and romcoms, but if that doesn't carry the show for you, I'm afraid there's not much else to see here. The 2nd CP is fuel for the "2nd CPs are annoying and waste screentime" complaint fire. (although, protip: even on the first watch you can probably skip their scenes without missing anything of value). The tear allergy is a bit of a ridiculous premise, but it's a real thing (who knew!), and it's not addressed much after a point.

Watch it if: You need something sweet and cute to fill the gaping hole Till The End of the Moon left in your chest, you love the tsundere overbearing CEO archetype but you also prefer it when he is more than a dry irredeemable asshole, you love romcoms because you enjoy both the "will they won't they" and the cute "we're an item now" domesticity.

And The Winner is Love

Type: Costume, wuxia, romance

Episodes: 48

Available at: iQiyi, YouTube

What's the deal? Dashing, elegant, fan-wielding dreamboat young master falls in love with girlie burdened with the heavy responsibility of leading a sect with bad rep and protecting a very powerful and thus dangerous cultivation manual. Supposedly.

On the one hand: Luo Yunxi looks like this:

for the whole drama. Every novel writer who ever wrote about a flirty and sophisticated young master whose beauty made flowers bloom along his path and women as well as men fell in love with him at first sight and all that purple prose-y stuff, has actually written about Luo Yunxi as Shangguan Tou whether they were aware of it or not. He is The Archetype and his popularity among bilibili fmv editors is proof. There's some great wire work in the first half. The soundtrack is pretty solid.

On the other: If you're looking for plot, run away and don't look back. I've watched the whole thing and I could not tell you how the story goes. I went in with a "idc about plot, i just want to look at Luo Yunxi in costume for 40 hours" mentality and I still struggled, make of that what you will. Chen Yuqi is the FL, saddled with a poorly written role and a choice of VA who arguably wasn't the best fit for her or the role. Chemistry is passable depending on your standards, but for most of the 2nd half of the drama it takes a nosedive together with the plot. Luo Yunxi got injured while filming this so they had to cut action scenes by a lot, so in the last 3rd or so it's wuxia without the wuxia. It's the only recent case where he also had to be dubbed (covid didn't allow him to get in the studio and do it himself, as he usually does).

Watch it if: You are a yumejoshi and need material to self-insert into a costume drama FL's position, you are more determined to watch lyx look pretty in costume, all else be damned, than Samwise Gamgee was determined to make sure Frodo throws the One Ring in the flames of Mount Doom.

Princess Silver

Type: Costume, court drama, romance, some wuxia elements

Episodes: 58

Available at: YouTube, viki

What's the deal? Princess RongLe wakes up one day with amnesia (no, hear me out) to the news that she is to be sent to another kingdom and marry a prince she's never met for political alliance reasons (no, hear me out!). There, she is faced with unexpected revelations and finds herself looking for the truth while she gets embroiled with the aforementioned haughty prince, a shady general, and her (sometimes a bit too?) caring and overprotective brother.

On the one hand: (mild spoiler alert?) His character ends up stealing the show. FL can act and has good relationships with other female characters (arguably better than with any man in this, even in the chemistry department). Story and plot are quite decent. It's one of those rare cdramas that builds up as it goes instead of deflating in the last stretch.

On the other: LYX is 3rd ML in this, so if he's your main motivation to watch, be prepared for limited screentime, especially in the 2nd half of the drama (until the final 8-10 episodes where it's all about). If you're not into the FL with either 1st or 2nd ML, the first half can be a drag, like, personally I started appreciating this drama for real after episode 25-30.

Watch it if: You are patient, you like getting emotionally sucker-punched, you love a good, earthshaking final plot twist.

Ashes of Love

Type: Costume, xianxia

Episodes: 63 (or 60, depending on the version, content is the same either way though)

Available at: Netflix, YouTube, viki, WeTV, amazon prime

What's the deal? Bottom of the food chain grape fairy who was deprived of the ability to feel romantic love and her life was honestly better and carefree like that, trips and falls into a love triangle with overconfident golden boy Heavenly Prince Phoenix, and his older brother, abused wallflower Heavenly Prince Dragon. Things go very great and not complicated at all from there. :))

On the one hand: Xianxia 101, it hits all the items on the checklist. The lavish costumes, the sprawling sets and world building, the entanglement over multiple lives, mortal arc, immortal arc, demon realm arc. CG that still holds up well for the genre 5 years later. The epic and emotional OST (someone has yet to surpass Sa Ding Ding's 左手指月 for the title of "best cdrama ED song", i don't make the rules). Arguably, The most iconic 2nd ML in a cdrama, responsible for a significant chunk of its long-lasting chokehold on the audience. Even if you've never seen the drama, if you're in the asian media adjacent internet, you've most likely seen this:

On the other: Xianxia 101, a double-sided coin. All the clichés are here, and if you're not here for them you get aboard the struggle bus. The show's views on romantic feelings can be a bit, let's say, old fashioned, even for the genre's standards. If you're not into the main CP, you're in for an uphill battle of frustration. If you're Team Runyu prepare to hate almost everyone for there is no justice in this land. (In AoL one is either Team Runyu or Team Xu Feng, no middle ground, and if you're reading this, especially because you liked lyx as Tantai Jin, I don't see how you could end up Team Xu Feng, so I'm gonna run with this assumption). (in theory you can also be Team No One, but in practice if you're that, sitting through this entire drama must have been as fun as having a tooth pulled out with no anesthesia)

Watch it if: if you're any degree of a lyx fan, period. Runyu is a mandatory class.

Children's Hospital Pediatrician

Type: Modern, medical, romance

Episodes: 42

Available at: YouTube

What's the deal? Aspiring surgeon -slash- frustrating disaster girl makes a huge blunder on her first day of her hospital residency, and can only stay as a pediatrician. She hates it and makes her literal saint of a secret husband's life miserable. We watch as she gets to grow as a person to the detriment of everyone else's mental health. Secondary cast has subplots of various dating entanglements.

On the one hand: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hmmm..... well... there's a scene where lyx takes off his shirt for a physical exam, if that's a bonus (ep40, 27:13-28:05, you're welcome)? Queen Zheng Li is in it? I am scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

On the other: It's way too long for absolutely no reason, the FL is the most frustrating and irrational baby I've ever seen (which is by no means a low bar), 90% of characters who are not the FL get their development butchered to make her look better, 2/3rds of the cast are incompetent at acting and the other 1/3rd is being wasted in this mess. I am trying to be as objective I can in these, but I've got nothing for this one.

Watch it if: You have chronically low blood pressure that no medication can fix, you have watched literally everything else on the list and having a manic episode where you will chew on the walls if you don't look at Luo Yunxi's face in something you have never seen before, you want to watch some other mid drama, so you want to watch something worse first in order to appreciate the other drama more.

Fox in the Screen

Type: Costume, xianxia

Episodes: 22

Available at: YouTube, viki, amazon prime (as The Screen Foxes)

What's the deal? Orphan girl wins by drunken mistake a magical screen that houses 3 fox demon guys, they help her with her screen shop and also with crossdressing to pass the exam for the position of palace screen painter. She earns a grumpy boyfriend with a tragic past in the meanwhile.

On the one hand: It's short and goes fast, and in all honesty, considering it was made on a budget of 3 paperclips and a piece of gum, the story is much more concise and watchable than I, at least, personally expected. You get to witness the caterpillar stage of lyx on this path to guzhuang drama godhood. If you're one for tragic love stories there is one hiding under the DIY production. White Fox and the prince are a solid ship.

On the other: It is very much made on the aforementioned budget of 3 paperclips and a piece of gum, and it very much shows. Everything is rough, the costumes, the makeup, the editing, the acting for the most part. Having even half an expectation is the wrong way to approach this drama.

Watch it if: you have the heart of a mother watching her kids at the school play and admiring what a great job they are doing or if you are like Marie Kondo and love mess in an affectionate way.

Bonus: PhantaCity

PhantaCity was a tv show back in 2018, whose concept was making short plays and having actors perform them live in a single, do or die take for a studio audience. Luo Yunxi and Wu Jinyan, both with a background in ballet, are paired up in a short musical, acting as the hands of a newly repaired clock. If you ever wanted to see him dance, sing and act all in one thing, don't sleep on this. It's short and beautiful, and the official upload embedded above is subbed in English!

[doekimakura]

Can we learn a bit more about Alvius and Charles?

Charles and Alvius were my old WF OCs I made at the peak of my Warframe fanboy moment. They were... vastly different characters than who they are now.

Also!! Note that I played Warframe last before Railjack so... idk shit abt new lore.

(Note: more info in alt text)

Charles LeClair

Currently, Charles is mostly-a-spy mercenary who works alone. He is extremely anxious and distrustful of everyone and seemed very feeble and weak-minded. He always acted like he doesn't want to do this whole warframe job (he really doesn't) but he is too broke to actually stop (he is.)

Apparently, some people are hunting him down. An operator and his Warframe... but he has no idea why they are hunting him down.

Charles' true passion lies in mathematics. Numbers and codes calms him down, which is why he would rather go on spy missions and/or hack consoles and steal credits from the enemy side. He is a huge number nerd to a point he is able to calculate in his head freely, enhancing control over his limbo ability (where he shifted between reality and Rift, etc.)

He doesn't tell people much about himself. The best person who knows him for who he is is Alvius, and even then the poor Nidus doesn't know much about him either. (That leads to their breakup.)

Alvius Ilidius

Alvius (he prefers to be called 'Alan' because it's shorter) is a lot of things. He is a CEO, (a nidus pretending to be) an Excalibur, and is the charming leader of the dojo 'Tera Fals.'

Alan himself is very laid back. Unlike Charles, he has a very calm and confident temperament with a sprinkle of humor. Probably passes as a himbo, but has amazing battle instincts. Likes kids! (Most Tenno are '''kids''' after all.) Don't be fooled by his human face. It's a) plastic surgery, he did it to mimic Charles and b) he's actually roughly the same age than as Charles (Like, what, ~300+ years old?) He's an old man. He probably got that face from some old earth playboy magazine, idk.

Despite his positive attitude and virtuous appearance, Alan was an experimental type of Nidus. TL;DR, an experiment where one Tenno can control 10 warframes at the same time. While he is able to walk around freely without an Operator, he was unfortunately plagued with urges of bloodlust and violence. He staves these urges by going out on extreme sports activities, missions, and using suppression medication.

Unfortunately, there are times that fearsome urge wasn't suppressed and well... let's say it caused casualties once.

...

Ok I'll tell you this, they are still in love. But with the massive baggage they're carrying that they haven't solved? That's why they aren't together at the moment.

Anyway that's all about two of my favorite characters and also one of my favorite couples.

[wisteriaiswriting]

Tire Me Out

Words: 650

Stumbling through your dark room, having stubbed your toe on your bed frame twice. Lightly kicking anything in your way, with only the faint moonlight guiding you to the lightswtich near the door. Shutting your eyes and covering them when the light was turned on, slowly pulling them away as you adjusted.

The clock on the wall told you the time, 2:52. Fuck. What was wrong with you today? Shaking your head before looking around, hoping to find something to steal your attention until you pass out where you were. Something you would definitely regret in the morning, but much to your dismay there was nothing.

Huffing as you switch the light off, reaching for the door only to hit the wood. Taking a deep breath in, silently but seething as you let it go. Finally getting the door open to find a pitch black hallway, unable to see even arms length from you. Scrambling through a nearby storage bin full of junk, luckily finding a small torch.

Now that you were awake and outside your room you realized two things, how dry your throat was, and it was fucking freezing. But you couldn’t find the energy to search for something warm or return to bed yet, so you quietly made your way down the hall.

Normally you’d find others awake, like cascading from under doorways with whatever they did cutting through the silence. But not tonight, it seemed what Medic said had everyone listening. The medbay door was slightly open but he wasn’t anywhere in sight, who was likely off in Heavy’s room.

Sniper wasn’t even in the base but you couldn’t care less to check on him, not like he had much else to be doing anyways. Hearing snores from a variety of rooms, Demo, Soldier and even some from Scout. Not daring to enter Spy’s or Pyro’s room, but you were daring when it came to Engineer.

Warm light was covering the ground and you, swear to god, could feel the heat from how long he’s had the light on. Without the background noise of tools running you had to be quiet entering, which he didn’t notice. Finding him hunched over his desk, sketching on some blueprint paper.

“What are ya doing cowboy?”

He dropped his pencil in an instead, reaching for a nearby wrench. Slouching when he noticed it was you, only to pick up the pencil again.

“Could say the same for you darlin~”

“You could, but I asked first!”

Not noticing him wince at your voice, walking around him. Unable to fight the urge to pick up and look at everything in reach. Stopping when he took something from your hand,

“Now, what are ya doin’ up this late?”

Only able to shrug at his question, watching him huff.

“If you're gonna stay, lay down in the cot.” Pointing his thumb towards the back of his workshop, finding a cot with a thin blanket and flat pillow. Sensing your thoughts he continued, “Or my bed might be better for ya.”

Instead of choosing any of the options he gave, you decided to sit on an empty spot on the desk.

“Don’t you go ruining anything now.”

“Me, break something of yours? Never.”

Feeling gunslinger sit on your hip, his flesh hand pinching the bottom of your shirt.

“I’d rather not risk it, so why don’t you hop off.”

“Then where would I go?”

Wordlessly he picked you up, quickly and surprisingly gently placing you onto his lap.

“That’s where, or would ya rather go back to bed?”

“I’d rather not, but what about you?”

“I’m more than comfortable here sugar,” A quick scan of your face revealed… some intentions alright. “What are ya planning there?”

He was surprisingly out of his usual overalls, which you welcomed. Lowering your hand under his shirt, laying it on his stomach.

“Oh don’t you worry about it~”

[artoatsblog]

:Waiter voice: would you like some more vaguely spooky's house of jumpscares inspired TF2 au? No? Well too bad.

Scout- the first specimen and a reverse weeping angel, a creature of contradictions simultaneously arrogant and self-hating, both dangerous and pathetic, sympathetic and hateable all-in-one.

Soldier- a violent, animalistic, feral silly little guy who may or may not be a fallen god who used to be worshiped by a cult.

Pyro- pyro, No seriously you don't need to do anything, You don't even need to draw them in the spooky's art style just drop a PNG of them in the game.

Demo- looks like this

Heavy-the only one who I based on a specimen from spooky's instead of just using the vibes TM, that specimen being the deer Lord, objectively terrifying but slow as molasses.

Engineer- a robot who likes stealing people's organs to fill the hole inside him.

Medic- biblically accurate Angel that's been sent to the human realm to punish us for our sins.

Sniper- honestly I see him as just a creature who's terrified of you, the player, the closer he gets the most distorted he looks.

Spy- weeping angel, the face stealer, but only their faces so imagine a human head on a Eldredge abominations body and you'll get the gist.

[cultofmalcolm]

so i've decided to put like the mercs in a british secondary school

Here's some facts abt each of them!

@muttering-folklore helped a lot with this, so danke mein vater

Soldier: Trans Solly propergander (ftm), instead of touring people around famous people, he was either helping out on open evening or showing governers around. Merasmus' only friend (M swears they're not friends) GCSESs: Food tech, Pe, history, spanish, trilogy

scout: He and sPy are half brotehrs in this, bc its a bit weird if ur dad goes to the same school as you. Wears headphones around bc most teachers dont care (at our school at least) Gcses: Art, Pe, French, Geography, Trilogy

Pyro: i have no fucking clue what to do with them, other than them being a head prefect :( GCSEs: Art, busniess, doesn't do a language does extra maths and english lessions instead, geography, trilogy

Demo: Not much abt him again, i don't even have his gcses down, and he's sctually britsh. gets drunk in fields most of the time

Heavy: Moved schools over the summer, to be with his sisters but moved back along with Zhanna. Used to date Medic, then stopped, then started again <3 GCSEs German, Geography, food, PE, Triple

Engie: Head boy. Buzz cuz. Wears glasses in this bc its very similar to goggles GCSEs: DT, computing, History, german, triple

Medic: fellow trans man, joined the abserloute cunts that are the classics over the summer. neek. GCSEs: Triple, PE, geography, History, German

Sniper: gamer kid. moved from aussie over the summer, the gang saw him in a window looking all sad and was like, "yo you wanna be friends?" "sure" called sniper bc he's very good at shooter games, especially one called Band Bastille 2 GCSEs: no fucking clue mate

spy: as said before, scouts half brother. No one actually knows what he looks like due to the fact that he always has his hood up, despite the teachers constant nagging. steals cigs from shops (would never even touch a vape ewww) GCSEs: French, idk ehat else

merasmus: enby, goth though everyone calls them a wizard or magician, fucking hates it, went by max for the best part of year 7 then a substitute came along and everyone knew their real name, embarrassed as fuck abt it GCSEs: Spanish, idk what else

Miss. Pauling: college student, hangs out with the gang while they all skive off school, idk what she took for college bc I'm still in secondary school, probably a levels though. somehow top of her classes??

rights that it, i have ideas for admin, and the manns and that lot, but that shall have to wait

please reblog this, i would like others to know the glory that is a British secondary school au

hehe sideways merasmus design

[gracefireheart]

Fuck it, I'm making HCs for Medic's doves, because I feel like every single one of them would be a lil' shit [affectionate] in different ways.

(Also, I just wanted to make some small reference pics of them for future drawings)

First of all; I decided that Medic has eight birds in total. Mostly 'cause I couldn't think of anymore than eight different traits, and also 'cause I thought it would be cute that he has eight doves and eight humans he [has to] takes care of.

Second of all; I did some quick design of each of them (basically just use a base dove drawing and then add shit to it) and then assigned each of them names based off of ancient greek scientists (like Archimedes). The order will be from oldest to youngest dove.

Aristotle - Many of the mercs (which even includes Medic at times) sometimes think that this old dove is dead due to them never blinking and always standing stock-still. Medic can't count how many times one of his colleagues came with said dove in their hands and a distressed look on their face, only to find out that the dove is indeed alive.

Herophilos - Often goes out of their way to find bones to either peck on, or to use in their nest in replacement of sticks.

Euclid - The sleepiest of the bunch that can either be found resting on Medic's head, or in the strangest places (such as a fridge, one of the machines, inside the walls, and so on).

Aristarchus - They often pick fights with not only their dove siblings, but also with Soldier's raccoons (the former of which they tend to win, the latter of which they tend to lose).

Erasistratus - Sometimes, a few of Spy's knives and Medic's surgical tools goes missing because of this dove that loves stealing those shiny items of theirs.

Archimedes - You know 'em, you love 'em. It's the dove that can't get enough of blood, guts and gore.

Apollonius - Not wanting anyone to go starving, they will go and steal some food from the other mercs to make sure their dove siblings, Medic, and some of the dead bodies outside are fed. (Btw, yes, their right eye is missing)

Hipparchus - Quite the attention seeker out of the bunch as they will scream into the ear of whoever they want some attention from. Doesn't matter if said person is asleep/unconscious or dead.

Other lil' HCs I have for them is just stuff like:

Herophilos and Erasistratus are more often than not sticking together, while Herophilos and Aristotle absolutely despise eachother. Aristotle and Erasistratus are chill with eachother tho'.

Euclid, Archimedes, Apollonius and Hipparchus tend to be with eachother, tho' the latter three has to keep an eye on Euclid to make sure they know where the fuck that dove will fall asleep.

Aristarchus and Hipparchus also often tend to stick together, especially if the former is about to have a go against one of the raccoons.

Each of them have a different merc they tend to gravitate towards (besides their bird dad Medic). Archimedes ofc loves accompanying Heavy, Aristotle will sometimes be with Pyro, Herophilos may stay near Sniper, Euclid can be often found in Engineer's workshop, Aristarchus tend to bother Scout here and there, Erasistratus enjoys Spy's company (and knives), Apollonius will sometimes check on Demoman to make sure he's not hungry either, and Hipparchus likes being with Soldier and trying to be louder than him.

"Which one of the doves are male or female?" The answer: Who knows? :)