#meatball is my favourite character

[spineless-lobster]

Guess who’s FINALLY watching masters of the air?

(Me the answer is me)

[sidetongue]

My dearest Mil,

We are 365 days apart today. You were such a bad dog, but such a good pal. We still visit all of your favourite places full of all my favourite memories of you; the rock wall you scaled like a mountain goat, the fallen tree you balanced on hoping to score a meatball, the cliff’s edge where all of your brothers went tumbling over, and you were the only one smart enough not to. We still had to go down and rescue them, though.

I miss how soft your ears were, I miss your excited woos at dinner time, I miss telling you, relentlessly and fruitlessly, to get off grandma’s table. I miss your favourite tricks that you’d offer up without being asked, I miss you helping me with foster puppies, and I miss your favourite bananas in pyjamas bouncy ball. Sprig chewed it, he didn’t understand why I cried.

When you died, I lost friendships and relationships. People I once cared about showed their true colours during the most painful time in my life. Funnily, they were people you never liked anyway. You were a good judge of character. Your favourite people still miss you. I still miss you.

I am sending so many pats, cuddles, butt scratches, belly rubs, and kisses up to you today. If I could send a random person up so you could hump their leg, I’d do that too. I hope you’re wreaking as much havoc as you can without being kicked out - and I hope I’ll see you again one day.

Love you so much it hurts,

Mum 🐾

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

THTH 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Ransom Drysdale

Summary: You have a secret, but what do you do when it threatens to come out.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Ugh, goddamn it,” you hiss as you reach your phone to the sky. The signal is shit around here. You watch the little circle, waiting for a check mark to appear; nothing.

Three days. The bandwidth has been in and out for three days and you haven’t been able to upload a single thing. Not even a message. This is dumb. You growl at your phone and toss it on your bed. It bounces and hits the wall.

You huff and cross your arms. It’s not fair. Those three days could’ve made you money. You can’t even leech off the library wifi because of the content filters. So ridiculous. You’re just trying to make a living.

A tap comes at the door and you flinch. You quickly scoop up your phone and go to the door. You tuck it in your back pocket and pull your shirt down to cover the top. You open the door and peek out at your mom.

“Everything okay?” She asks.

“Uh, yep, just dropped something.”

“Oh, nothing broke, I hope.”

“All good,” you smile. She chews her lip anxiously, as she often does. “I’ll be down for dinner soon. Smells good.”

“Alright,” she says, “it’s almost done. Your favourite; spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Mmm, awesome.”

You shut the door and roll your eyes. Spaghetti isn’t your favourite. It’s what she says is your favourite. Just like everything else, it has to fit within her rules. If she says you like yellow, well then, you like yellow. It isn’t worth the argument to have a personality.

You take out the phone again. You nearly squeal as the check mark turns green. It sent! Just a text post notifying your few followers of the unexpected technical difficulties. You’ll be fortunate if they don’t bleed off to the other girls. When there’s so much variety, you can’t expect horny men not to hop on the next page with a pretty girl in lacy underwear…or less.

You scroll down but the rest of the posts show the blank blocks, pulsing as they struggle to load. You check the menu. Signal’s gone again. Welp, at least that went through.

You go to your bed and hide your phone under the mattress. Your parents know about your laptop, that’s your alibi. You tell them you do transcription work online. That doesn’t pay enough so you have the secret phone for your real business; you.

It isn’t exactly a career but it’s a means to an end. You’ll save up enough and be out of Hammer Ford in no time. You’re almost twenty and running out of time. A gap year is expected, but two? That’s sad.

Besides, you’re done with this life. You need out of this house. You are an adult. Your parents can’t make you eat your peas or ban you from the romance section in the library. One day, hopefully soon, you’ll be free.

For now, you’re going to go downstairs and pretend your mother’s spaghetti and meatballs isn’t complete mush.

📱

Days pass as you stare helplessly at the flashing bars in the corner of your phone. Damn phone company. The data plan was supposed to be a backup, even if you could only afford the cheapest vendor on the market. You at least thought it would work!

You manage to get a decent signal up on Thunder Lane by the hotel. It might be worth it to just walk in and get their wifi. You don’t think they’d care much. There aren’t many guests passing through now, are there?

The only benefit of your forced break is how much time it gave you to create new content. You choose the set of photos you took with the bunny ears and the barely there white teddy. You quickly flick through the settings and set the paywall. At least you’ll have money coming in before…

Yep, no internet. You’re lucky even that went through. You roll your eyes and hop back in the family oldsmobile. Your mother doesn’t let you have it often but you told her you were going for coffee and would fill up the tank.

As you roll up to the sleepy main row of Hammer Ford, your phone vibes. You quickly put it back to silent and check the notification. Your data’s flickering as you see the first response to your post. That was quick. Turns out someone did miss you.

_ransom_ware commented: ‘welcome back, bunny’.

You tap on the bubble but the app won’t load. Damnit! At least you have automatic deposit enabled. His tip will hit your account in a couple days.

You get out of the car and cross the street to the bakery. You could butter your mom up with some tarts, maybe convince her to let you take the car into the city. That might be your best chance at catching up. You could schedule posts and not have to fight with the damn countryside desolation.

As you enter the bakery, it’s quiet. There’s one person at a table. You don’t recognise him. He has his back to you so you don’t think much of it. Probably just another lumber worker sating their repressed sweet tooth. Although, he is dressed a bit too nice for that. No plaid or denim? Huh.

You go up to the counter and order a half-dozen cherry tarts and a latte. You pay with the secret credit card you use for your online transactions and thank the girl behind the counter. As you turn, you find the man at the table turned in his seat. He glances at you as you carry out the tray of tarts and coffee.

You’re used to the stares. The men in Hammer Ford aren’t exactly subtle and your nights at The Horn have earned you a reputation, though those stories don’t make it past your front door. It’s just a little fun, you have a pint and tie your shirt above your belly button and dance. Nothing serious.

Your mom and dad are too chaste and pious to ever wander into the bar. It’s your escape, your safe space. Just for now. Just until you can get out of this hell hole.

[mitsuristoleme]

He Got That Boyish Look That I Like in a Man

written for @satoruoo as part of the Jjk Secret Santa (i hope you like it)

cw: aged up!yuuji. and by extension other characters. suggestive. fluff. mention of my poly!stsg x reader throuple. gojo and geto’s spouse referred to as [t/n] because technically they’re also a reader character and i’m to lazy to give them a name. megumi is a hater. 1.3k words. gojo is a menace but are we really shocked. gojo and geto’s spouse attempts to rizz up reader.

a/n: i actually have no idea how i wrote this but enjoy!! i love yuuji sm

People described yours and Yuuji’s relationship in many different ways.

Nobara was both happy that her two best friends (not that she would ever admit that she considered any of you her best friends) had found love in each other; and jealous that Yuuji had found a significant other before she had.

Megumi was utterly sick of the dumbassery (his words), something about you each being insane enough on your own.

Todo was glad that his brother/ best friend had a significant other but heartbroken because “how are we to talk about Jennifer Lawrence’s butt now?”

Yeah... Todo weirded you out when you first met him. Who yells “What kind of woman is your type?!” when you first meet someone??

Anyway.

You guys had started dating in your first year at Jujutsu High and the past four years that you had been dating were absolutely amazing. Perfect even. Yuuji is an amazing boyfriend. He cooks for you (the meatballs are KILLER), his body temperature is somehow always perfect for cuddling, and the sex is mindblowing.

The first Christmas eve after you graduate, you follow him down the sidewalk, your hands intertwined, heading to have dinner at a restaurant with your old teachers, Fushiguro and Kugisaki. He’s excitedly ranting about the sushi restaurant Gojo-sensei, Geto-sensei, their spouse introduced him to. Admittedly, you’re barely listening, too distrated by the sparkle in his eyes, the bounce in his step, his ever so perfect side profile, and his muscular build accentuated now that hes wearing a fitted t-shirt and jeans instead of his jujutsu high uniform.

Yeah, you’re drooling over your boyfriend. What? It’s not a crime.

“Baby? Baby are you listening? Hello? Earth to y/n?”

Yuuji’s hand waving in front of your face brings you back to reality and you apologise to the boy for ignoring him, albeit not regretting staring at him at all. You grin abashedly as you tell your now pouting boyfriend, “Sorry darling, but really its your fault for looking so sexy and edible.”

His face flushes a warm pink at your words and he pulls you closer by your waist to press a kiss to your hairline. “Say shit like that in public again and we might end up with a problem sweetheart. We wouldn’t want to leave our old teachers hanging now would we?” His voice had dropped to a deep, seductive whisper, sending shivers down your spine.

With his sunshine boy personality, it was easy to forget that Yuuji was inhumanly strong, and a lot less innocent than he appeared on the surface.

The proximity of his face to yours was causing your heart to pound ferociously in your chest, blood rushing to your face, and maybe somewhere else too. His golden eyes shone with mischief and lust, flicking between your eyes and mouth. His grip on your waist tightened as he took his lower lip into his mouth and you had to fight the urge to kiss him senseless in the middle of the street.

“Yuu,” you breathed out, pressing a kiss to his jawline. “We should go or we’ll be extremely late and Kugisaki will never let us live it down.”

He lets out a huff and pouts, but starts walking to the restaurant you were supposed to be at nonetheless.

As soon as you guys enter the restaurant, you’re greeted by over enthusiastic yells by Gojo accompanied by his arms waving in the air to catch your attention.

T/n rises from the their chair and pulls you into an aggressive hug. You laugh as you hug your favourite teacher back, as they repeatedly tell you how pretty you look.

“Sensei, are you trying to steal my girlfriend from me?” Yuuji joked, as he received affectionate but mildly aggressive headpats from Gojo, all while Geto laughed in his seat. All the while, Megumi and Nobara ignored your existence.

“Yeah actually i am. These two aren’t cutting it anymore,” T/n laughs, gesturing to Gojo and Geto, who make gasps of mock offense.

“Thats not what you said last ni-“

Gojo is cut off by his black haired husband getting up and slapping his hand over his mouth. “Not in front of our students, you fool,” he hisses.

You head off to greet Nobara and Megumi as Yuuji chats with your teachers about his upcoming mission.

Megumi looks up disinterestedly from the book he’s reading as you approach. “Hey Thing 1,” he greets. Before you can give him a response to the blatant disrespect, Nobara shoves a Santa cap on your head.

“HO! HO! HO!” you immediately say obnoxiously, taking special care to say it right next to Megumi’s ear. He glares at your triumphant expression and mouths a silent ‘fuck you’.

Sticking your tongue out at him, you slide into the seat next to Yuuji and rest your head on his shoulder. He turns his head, momentarily distracted from the conversation he was having, and smiles at you. That beautiful dazzling smile that leaves you wonderstruck everytime you see it. He wraps an arm around your waist and turns back to his conversation with Geto.

He picks up his drink, condensation around the cold glass, and brings it to his lips. After four years of being together you realise just how attractive you find Yuuji’s hands and arms. They’re muscular and just the right amount of veiny. You’ve always known his hands were attractive, but something about the dim lighting of the restaurant, soft music playing in the background and being pressed against his side that makes you incredibly hyper aware of everything about him.

The rest of the evening passes by with Yuuji hands constantly resting on you, eliciting mock disgusted glares from Megumi, fake retching sounds from Nobara and fond looks from your teachers, who saw their relationship in their younger years in you.

When everyone gets ready to leave, T/n insists on driving “the kids” home. When your teachers’ car pulls up to your apartment complex, you and your boyfriend thank them for the ride and make the way up to your place.

The elevator ride up to your floor is shrouded in comfortable silence, Yuuji’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind, his face tucked into the crook of your neck.

You enter your house a little after midnight, absolutely wiped from the night you had. As fun as it was, keeping up with Gojo and Kugisaki’s energy at the same time could be pretty exhausting.

The small Christmas tree you and Yuuji set up a week ago twinkles away in the corner of the living room as you slip your shoes off. The moment you straighten up after putting away your shoes, Yuuji pulls you into a crushing hug.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he whispers. “You look beautiful everyday but you looked extra beautiful tonight. You’re the only Christmas gift I need baby,” he continues, all sweet and perfect and you want to cry and kiss his face off.

“Well then, its a pity I bought you the collector’s edition of the Human Earthworm movies,” you grin.

He gasps and before he has a chance to respond, you kiss him.

He responds with just as much enthusiasm, kissing you lovingly, even going as far as to lean you back into a dip.

You laugh contently as you break apart and straighten up, still pressed into his body.

“I love you so much, Yuu.”

“I love you too baby.”

He scoops you up bridal style and carrying you to the bathroom, both of you giggling like middle schoolers. You wash your faces and finish your night routine, smiling at each other and bumping hips.

You settle into the covers with Yuuji pressed against you, your face resting against his chest. His comforting presence was lulling you to sleep. He had always been such a safe space for you, holding you through countless stressful breakdowns.

The last thing you hear before you black out is a soft “Merry Christmas sweetheart, I love you,” followed by a gentle kiss on the crown of your head.

please don’t copy or repost my work

comments and reblogs are appreciated

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dividers by @/saradika

[chaostroid]

MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

meatball don’t read this until i indoctrinated you into watching the game ..

The implication that Jimmy raped Anya and she was literally so quiet about it KILLS ME

“I’m pregnant” and also hiding the gun case OHHH MY GODFGDHFJFG

I’m like 80-90% sure swansea knew and that cryo pod was for her. like. come on now. swansea’s character is so fucking awesome i hate that i like him!!!!!!!! mean old man who secretly saw his friends as if they were his own trope NAAAUURRR ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Like, Swan does NAWT fuck with Jimmy. the pod could’ve been for daisuke, but somehow i knew it was for anya i swear to god. like why would he keep it from fucking everyone. Anya never asked about the utility room. at least i dont think so.

^ its also possible he’d keep it for himself, but he spoke about his life in that tied up bit as if it were already over. I really doubt it was just for him.

not like we’d see it anyway because we play from jimmy’s perspective, at least most of the time.

Curly knew because he was the captain and he was trustworthy, Swansea knew because daisuke was probably too young for her to confide in and she wanted some sort of protection - like in the last bit where you have to find the gun case and stuff / break into the medical room, swansea is no fuckign help (ik he was drunk but still)

also the way he attacks jimmy with the axe in the medical room. SWAN KNEW OK

he knew

i swear

anyway.

There was a mutual trust between Curly, swan and anya. Daisuke was left out cus of age, and jimmy because he’s literally insane. and also raped anya.

Jimmy is an exceptionally well written villain, and i love the psychological horror aspect that comes with being forced to do the things he did. Feeding curly his own leg?? WHAT!!!

I figure Jimmy is so jealous of Curly because he’s been “trying to climb the ladder” for years, but his behaviours and inability to cooperate stopped him from becoming a captain, and thats all he wanted. He got it, i guess. I think the horse / pony express part of his (what i can only describe as) mental breakdown / psychosis is just the fact that he’s been so focused on that company that he saw the horse fucking EVERYWHERE !!!

he convinced himself he’s been busting his ass for pony express for years and nobody even sees him. the highest rung for him is to be captain and he just couldn’t reach it. ladies and gents. Jimmy has been tunnel visioned in on captain-ness he lost his sense of life.

“I’m gonna fix this. we’re gonna get out of here.”

i think he says that because he’s more or less trying to convince himself that he can still fix everything, rather than just mindless rambling to everyone who’s died.

His breaking point back into whatever can be perceived as consciousness is curly in the end. they ran out of pain meds so he tried to help him by feeding him something, and then puts him in the pod.

Putting Curly in the pod is his remorse. Killing himself is his guilt.

THIS IS NOT A JIMMY APOLOGIST SECTION . goodness. that guy is so fucking evil it was genuinely crazy, i just like writing about how i saw things.

Out of all the characters, They’re all my favourite except for Jimmy. Fuck that guy. love you curly. ❤️

There will be mouthwashing fanart soon on GYAT ITS COMING

I love it so much

❤️❤️❤️❤️ mouthwashing

[pinkestmenace]

Sometimes when I'm pondering the orbs/trying to scrape up what little characterisation there is of Galacta Knight so I can figure out how to write his character, the little quippy shotgun rider in the back of my mind chips in:

He's a 10, but he laughs like a demented seagull. "AAHAhahaha!"

He has the appetite and hubris of a seagull trying to swallow an entire hotdog.

He and Meta Knight are studying each other in a petri dish.

No fear -> Meets Bandee's Nana -> One fear

The elegance of a swan, the indomitable spirit of a territorial mother goose, the tenacity of a pigeon with a clubfoot. And the aggression of a swan.

Teeth teeth teeth goose tomia teeth 😬

Me, thinking: "Even after he chooses to better himself he's still not exactly a sweet person." Me-not-me: "That's-a spicy meatball!"

Have you ever looked a chicken in the eye? They remember when they were dinosaurs.

You can lead a Galacta Knight to healthy conflict resolution, but you can't make him drink.

He's a homing pigeon. Homing in on your location.

Instead of hitting him with the scary hands beam like Starflungwaddledee, you hit him with the scary teeth beam. And then the scary hands beam.

When all you have is a lance, everything starts looking like a target.

He's the Hero Circling the Origin. Circling it like a drain.

Uses 'fowl' language.

"Bah!" GK is Scrooge being tormented by the ghosts of his victims past, present and yet to come (and the grim reaper) to change his ways before it's too late.

GK is not really a man, because while he's bipedal he's not featherless.

Stabbing children isn't his favourite pastime. Teaching children how to stab, on the other hand...

This is less of a 'We can fix him if we hug him enough!'-fic and more of a 'We're showing him the tools to improve, but he has to pick them up himself. Which he won't do until he thinks he's worth it.'-fic.

His breakdown is like the emotional equivalent of draining pus from a festering wound.

The inherent homoeroticism of stabbing a man with a stubby pink lance...and then having to pull it out by the shaft.

He's not entirely unhinged, but his hinges are rusty and failing.

Galacta Knight *gets hit with several deadly weapons*. "'Tis but a scratch."

Kirby stopping him: "I defeated him with the power of friendship! And this sharp stick I inhaled."

He has the petty meanness of a parrot.

He explodes recreationally.

Worse: he flies into the air, displays the colours of the pansexual flag and THEN explodes. Extremely straight behaviour.

Instead of the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone he contains the holy trinity of thwarted theater kid, world-weary butch and the Faggiest Grandfather in the Galaxy.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

He could absolutely kill you and might even laugh while doing so, but it's not so much him being gleefully murderous as:

Fighting is one of the few reprieves from his unfathomable boredom and frustration.

He thinks he's irredeemable so he might as well play the villain. He's not completely heartless, but why try being kind anymore when his role is fixed anyway? Phah! Nobody spares him, so why should he show mercy?

If people summon him they're asking for it + if he just stood there and let them kill him that would be unsatisfying for both parties.

He never learned how to deal with big complicated feelings except by lashing out.

By now the pattern of 'being summoned -> fight -> win or lose' is so deeply engraved into him he'd have to climb out of the groove, so he responds to any slight by competing.

He's so used to bloodshed he doesn't know how to have a normal conversation anymore.

I'm getting a better feel for him, but guess what: if characters live rent-free in your head you can put them in a terrarium of your choosing, but they will decide how to interact with it afterwards.

For example:

At this point I can't put Galacta Knight and King Dedede in a room together unsupervised because their massive egos make them bicker and posture at each other. (They're establishing pecking order/jealously trying to impress Meta Knight, who pretends not to notice. Bird rivalry go!) It would soon have them at each other's throats. They're surprisingly similar, but that also makes them absolutely allergic to each other. If you thought Dedede and Kirby had a rivalry, well, theirs is much worse. Kirby's perfectly happy to have a competition, but he's not (usually) interested in mocking his opponent, so that defuses the situation. But Galacta Knight's a sore loser and a smug winner. If DDD and GK ever do become friends it will grow out of a begrudging respect for each other's strength and the discovery they both like: a) Shitty puns, b) Sick Burns™ and c) Teasing Meta Knight.

On the other hand, after a rough start Galacta Knight and Kirby get along like a house on fire. Kirby's just not intimidated by him, so no matter what threats GK tries, he eventually has to accept he's being befriended. He has no choice. They beat each other up, make up, bake pancakes and have a sleepover. Yay! This does not stop him from being a bit of an untitled goose bastard. It just means Kirby's exempt from the worst.

He and Meta Knight are orbiting each other like binary stars trying to figure out why the other is definitely so much weirder and more unhinged.

MK: He tried to kill me on sight. I'm going to spare him to figure out why. Huh? He's so strong and beautiful! *Notices the serrated teeth and the unhinged seagull laugh.* Never mind.

GK: I am loath to gaze upon thy dim countenance, thou stupid anomalous manlet! Thou art short and ugly! I hate thee! ...I need to know more. Kiss me I mean I'll kill thee if thou touchest me!

He and Bandee are, uh, yeah. Strained is what I would call it. GK feels disdain for people weaker than him, but admiration for the dedicated. Bandee is both of those things. So he settles for giving him a lesson in stabbing more effectively. Bandee is just ??? the entire time.

They all help him fix different aspects of himself. Kirby offered him a non-judgmental outlet for his emotions. Meta Knight made sure he was physically healthy. Dedede, reluctant as they both were about it, helped ground him in reality and showed him change is possible. Bandee helped him re-evaluate his priorities and values.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

It's less that he's suddenly developed a conscience and more that he's finally getting the chance to see them as people. Normally he gets summoned and has to fight immediately. There's no time to chat, or sit down, or think about anything but battle. With every clash with a familiar face his opponents feel more like advanced training dummies than people. It's just another iteration, they don't matter. But this time he crashed in the jungle, then had to survive on his own for six days. Once the adrenaline wore off he started feeling things like pain, hunger and loneliness. He had to find food, he had to find shelter, he had to deal with (well, avoid) noncombatants. He started using his voice again, he had time to think and see things beyond the battlefield. He didn't know what to do with himself.

So by the time this Kirby and Meta Knight show up he's in a completely different mindset. Especially when they try to reason with him. When they heal him and feed him and even invite him over. You can't really sit down with someone over a nice cup of tea without starting to see them as a person. Someone with opinions, needs and desires and insecurities. Not so different from you. And the more you see them as a person, the more you care about them and the more difficult it becomes to want to kill them.

Too bad that doesn't mean his unresolved grief and anger issues are completely gone. It just means that if he lashes out and kills them now he will regret it. Forever.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Post Hatoful Dreams GK cooking like Gordon Ramsey.

GK: *Slaps bread on MK/DMK's face* "What art thou?"

MK/DMK: "An idiot sandwich."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

There's a war going on in his head between the touch-starved wet beast screaming "TOUCH ME! LOVE ME! HOLD ME! PLEEEASE!" and the vengeful side ready to kill and maim screaming "TRY ME. I DESPISE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEE, THOU FILTHY ITERATION OF MY NEMESIS!"

Now he finds himself in the middle, fickle and wishy-washy, craving affection, desperate to be accepted, but lashing out at any slight.

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Friday everyone! This is my first 911 ficrec post (I'm usually over here if ill-fated hunters and their angel husbands are your jam) but I've been DEEP in the Evan Buckley hyperfixation throughout April so come with me for what I've been reading!

This is a combination of Buddie and Bucktommy and buckeddietommy (aka buckeddie and meatballs, heh!)

26 April 2024

tell me about despair by @hattalove was the first fic I read, specifically because I wanted to get inside Eddie's head more as on first viewing I found him a little trickier to grasp...but yeah...that might just be because I am he and he am I. This fic was an wonderful way in to understanding his inner workings. His queer awakening and the associated traumas he has to work through were handled with such care, and the character voices were just gorgeous. "Eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. There's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place. Except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too"

evan, elated and euphoric by @gayhoediaz 16500 words of bucktommy first time smut anyone?? "Buck likes it - not just being with Tommy, being with a man - that part is obvious, but he… likes that he likes it. He loves that he likes it. Truthfully, he doesn’t think that he has ever felt more at home in his own body than he does in this very moment." This is such a delightful exploration (through copious amounts of sizzling sex) in Buck feeling fully present and fully himself in his sexuality, and it's gloriously decadent as well as sweet and sexy as hell. I loved this characterisation of Tommy.

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels all hail the threesome fics! In which the correct answer is always - Both? Both is good! This one is gloriously kinky and sexy and I love the 'guiding hand' aspect and how both Buck and Eddie allow themselves to be led. "It's not that Buck's not happy with Eddie. It's just that being with Tommy taught him things about himself, things he wants, and he doesn't quite know how to ask Eddie for those things. He shouldn't have underestimated how well Eddie knows him, or how willing Tommy is to lend a helping, instructional hand."

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by @elvensorceress is a gorgeously written allegorical tale with PEAK Buddie and Christopher family vibes set between S4&5. "In the aftermath of the sniper attack, Buck has to keep going without his partner while sorting through the layers of everything they are to each other, while Eddie fights for his life and through all his internalized trauma and regret for everything they never managed to say. aka After nearly losing each other, Buck and Eddie find their way to each other and their family’s happily ever after." My absolute favourite thing about this fic is the thread with the bedtime story that Christopher and Buck have created together. Just beautiful.

five ways to fall in love with the man in the mirror by @buckttommy is a bucktommy fic but crucially a Buck absolutely revelling in the poetry of getting to know your own identity. It also crucially gives me Jay Hulme vibes (iykyk) "Buck meets God at a gay club. He finds him in an oil-slick puddle on a damp night, neon lights reflecting off the kaleidoscopic liquid in the parking lot. or; Evan Buckley falls in love with himself."

and i know how i feel by @middyblue is a very sweet Buck coming out to Bobby fic, written I believe between 7x04 and 7x05. ALL the Dad!Bobby feels. "Buck stares off over the hills of Los Angeles, hugging his knees. He half wants to take out his phone and start playing Nine Simone (it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling - ) and half can’t bear to drown out the thin peace of bird calls in the quiet blue of the morning. Footsteps scrape on gravel behind him and he turns, half-expecting another hiker, but it’s Bobby, carrying a coffee tray with two to-go cups and a paper bag."

Short and sweet fic:

For All Occasions by @storybelle FIREFAM FEELS! In which of course, as per tradition, Hen makes the 118 a cake. I neeeeeed Hen and Buck queer camaraderie show, I need it, and just like this!

Wedding Bell Blues by @klutzygirl - much needed supportive parents actually fic! "Margaret and Phillip meet their son's new boyfriend when they arrive in town for Maddie's wedding." it doesn't go how Buck would expect, in the best way.

PS - if you have any henren authors/fic recs I should check out PLEASE let me know! I'm new and I love them!

[warwickroyals]

list those ugly irl tiaras, sis!

I think I will, actually, because I have no issue dragging IRL royalty, as they deserve. Like, if you like a tiara that I dislike . . . kick rocks I guess, this is just my opinion. I'll do five to keep it brief. And these are in no particular order.

The Burmese Ruby Tiara 🇬🇧

Queen Elizabeth II had a perfect tiara in the Nizam of Hyderabad, that was literally gifted to her and she just randomly decided to take a sledgehammer to it and made the meatball splatter tiara? I'm still so annoyed because the old tiara was so much better and this is a huge downgrade.

Elizabeth II sucked at making jewelry. All three of the tiaras she commissioned are ugly as sin, but this one is just insulting. At least the Brazilian aquamarine has character.

Princess Madeleine's Aquamarine Bandeau Tiara 🇸🇪

It looks like an arts and crafts tiara. Like I get it, she was 18 and you want to give her something practical as a baby's first tiara, but it's just ugly and Madde deserved better. It's funny because Sweden has some of the best tiaras and the other Aquamarine tiara they have is one of my favourites.

The Empire Tiara 🇱🇺

Luxembourg has some of the worst tiaras, but this one takes the cake. The issue with many of these huge tiaras is that they were made during a time when hair was way more dramatic, which complemented these big gun tiaras. However, modern hairstyles just don't work, and that's why I can't vibe with the Empire Tiara. It also is just too gaudy, stiff and heavy-looking, like one of those beauty pageant tiaras.

MT just looks bad in it and I already have a negative opinion of her for, um, other reasons . . .

The Duchess of Edinburgh's Wedding Tiara 🇬🇧

So, I don't know what they were thinking giving Sophie this hideous hodge-podge mess. It was made up of pieces from a different tiara belonging to Queen Victoria and it shows. It has tons of empty space and is gapping at the bottom. It also just doesn't have a proper base. I think they renovated it recently and while it looks better, it's still ugly.

Also not that point, but that pearl necklace? Your husband designed that for you? Sorry.

The Modern Gold Tiara 🇳🇴

I like a sci-fi look, and I like how Sonja wanted to step outside the box with this one, but I just find it ugly and awkward-looking, and the diamonds on add nothing. This is maybe the best version of it, though. Extra points for creativity, I guess.

[partnersincrimesuau]

PARTNERS IN CRIME - Stevinel SU Fan Comic Chapter 2: Rogues Like Me Page No. 45

Ch.1 Start Ch.2 Start Previous Next

(Genuinely one of my favourite pages… my photography and creative arts classes paid off and I feel like I nailed the leading lines in this page XD)

Condor leads Spinel into the Workshop, where Spinel gets her first real look around the place. Still very wary, she puts her hand over her gem… where it will stay for a few pages. Condor may be on her side, and currently very relaxed, but Spinel cannot be too careful.

Condor gives us a little bit of exposition about the Workshop; it’s existed for quite a while indeed! Era 2, of course, began when Pink was shattered, which means that the Crystal Gem uprising began sometime before that. Somewhere around that time, Condor and some other gems began to start their own secret Crystal Gem operation in Pink Diamond’s court, building up the workshop and everything in it. While a lot of weapons were shown on the previous page, this one shows a few more… including a line of very familiar weapons that Spinel has her eyes on.

And we get the first namedrop for our new main character!!! Yes, 83 is the name of the bismuth ^^ (Once more there will be more exposition for her on the next page hehe)

I have a bit of a headcanon that Bismuths nickname everyone they meet (Bismuth in the show calls Amethyst ‘Deep Cut’, Steven ‘Meatball’, Peridot ‘Tiny’, etc), so our new PIC Bismuth, 83, will be the coiner of Spinel’s nickname at the end of Chapter 3!!!

(Definitely one of my favourite drawings of Condor I’ve done so far… also look how short Spinel is standing next to her XD)

(Oh by the way!!! I was supposed to upload this last night but I was too tired... because it was my birthday!!! Thanks to everyone on the discord server for the birthday wishes ^^☆ﾟ･:*:･｡★)

Info and FAQ about PIC here. Join the official PIC discord server!

(Made in FireAlpaca) Steven Universe is owned by Rebecca Sugar

[such-a-barbarian]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

(one that I actually finished and isn’t just sitting as a half completed draft!)

Thanks you for the tags @mybrainismelted and @iansw0rld!

Name: Kell

Age: 30-something or other

Location (globally): 🇨🇦

Location (physically): In my car driving north to visit my in-laws.

Favourite food to eat: Windsor pizza. Cadbury Mini eggs. a good poutine. butter tarts (no raisins thank you very much).

Favourite food to cook: Cookies or meatballs or ribs.

Will you be attending @too-schoolforcool’s ☀️ Kitchen Shenanigans🍴with Cherry on the 6th July? I won’t - we will be camping with the kiddos!

What’s Your Zodiac: Aries

Will you be attending @heymacy’s ☀️ Astrology 101: More Than Just Your Sun Sign ☀️ lecture on the 13th July? Again nope. My cousin is getting married that day!

Now let predictive text complete each sentence for you after the 💭

My age is 💭 not good (I mean…)

My favourite animal is 💭 the one that has the best hair (ha!)

I love to cook 💭 for myself but it’s not my job (correct)

I love to eat 💭 it with you guys (eat what?! EAT WHAT?!)

My dream career is 💭 now in the hands of the people

I have a lot of ideas about 💭 how we should make the best use of the money (oh boy do I!)

I have no clue 💭 what you mean but you are correct (…)

My favourite character on Shameless 💭 is the guy who has the best voice (yup yup - in mickey’s voice)

Debbie Gallagher is 💭 the most underrated rapper (hahahaha)

Carl Gallagher is 💭 a great example of how to make money (I guess?)

Mandy Milkovich is 💭 the only one who can make it happen (probably)

Mickey Milkovich is 💭 the best (absolutely!)

Ian Gallagher is 💭 an idiot (hahaha - sorry Ian. I love you)

To me Ian and Mickey are 💭 both in my life and I’m just trying to figure things out (it’s all of us)

Gallavich means 💭 that you can get a free ride

I wish anyone who reads this to 💭 understand that I am not a woman (except that I most definitely am a woman…)

tagging some folks if ya wanna play/you haven’t already. if not, here’s a mer-person 🧜🏻

@zutaralesbian @bawlbrayker @francesrose3 @jrooc @krysmiss @lupeloto @ryantryinx @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @iansfreckles

[backtothefanfiction]

The Angel In The Garden of Evil | Epilogue: Not Another Envelope

Summary: We say goodbye to our favourite couple in a similar manner we said hello to them, with an envelope on the dining room table, a secret hidden inside.

Warnings: 18+ Only, genre typical content, references to the demise of characters in previous chapter, fluff, a surprise, implied smut, daddy/mommy kink (if that doesn't give away the surprise I don't know what will)

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: The final authors note *begins weeping*. This is it, the end. I have had the most wonderful time writing this series and sharing it with you all. A big thanks to @sincericida and @tarzinnia for your continued support and reblogging and leaving your thoughts all over this series, they honestly kept me going and helped so much. Another big thanks to @liz-allyn if it wasn't for your Sugar + Vice series inspiring me, Angel would never have happened. I hope this Epilogue ties up this series in a nice bow for everyone and we can all go away with a fuzzy feeling in our tummies with hope for the future. I will be having a Q & A session to wrap up any final questions and talk further about all our favourite bits in the series, so be sure to fill up my inbox with your Q's and best bits. And before anyone asks as we haven't come back to him in a bit, Miles is doing good. His leg healed and Angel moved him to work more on F.E.A.S.T operations full time. He is very happy and healthy. Anyway, let's say goodbye shall we.

EPILOGUE

She hadn’t felt this nervous since she had first walked back into this house 10 months ago. Her stomach turned as she tried to breathe deeply and keep calm. ‘I can do this,’ she thought to herself, as she crouched down to check the food in the oven for the 5th time in the last 10 minutes.

“Come on Pete, where are you?” she muttered as she tapped her foot absentmindedly on the harlequin tiled kitchen floor.

After everything had happened there had been quite a few changes. They had left Hobie in charge of cleaning up as they went on a well needed second honeymoon. Peter had hired a yacht for them to sail around the coast of Italy for two weeks; of course stopping off in the little town she had lived in for the near three years they were separated, so that Angel could introduce her husband to Maria and her magic meatballs.

When they came back Peter signed the entire business over to Angel. There was a small amount of teething room, Peter playing mediator between allies as he announced the change in management; but given her family history, most of them were satisfied with the change.

With Angel now in charge of the business, Peter started going back out in the suit. He’d occasionally help out with paperwork or running certain errands, especially when it came to the Huntsman and F.E.A.S.T, but mostly spent his days patrolling the city and helping keep it crime free (well apart from his wife’s business that was).

They had sold her Father’s old house and everything inside it for a hefty amount, which they donated to the city to help with the clean up after the explosion down in Chinatown. They also gave payouts to the local businesses that had been affected as both a thank you for helping during the blast; but also apologise for the inconvenience of it all. The new centre had been reopened two months ago, with a special ribbon cutting from the city’s one and only Spider-Man, and had been thriving again ever since.

Peter had been worried about donning the suit again. Worried what everyone would think after all this time. But if the gang fighting had provided one thing, it was the city’s need for a hero. A need to hope once more. And nothing said hope apparently like a guy in red and blue spandex swinging through the city- much to George Stacy’s dismay.

They had started going to couples counselling once a week so they could talk through all their lingering issues. The Felicia thing. Their issues with her Dad. The forced three year separation. There was still a long way to go, but talking about it with a mediator helped.

Harry’s body was found in a freezer inside a storage container that was offloaded in Belfast Ireland three months after the night at the warehouse. Toomes’ body, which had been dumped in the river, was never found.

She checked the oven again as she chewed on her lip. She wasn’t even sure she was gonna be able to stomach this, despite having spent the last hour and a half cooking it. There came a thud from upstairs. He was home. She closed her eyes, taking one last deep breath in, before she began to take the chicken out of the oven.

“Mmmm, smells good Mrs Parker.” his voice rang out as he ran downstairs. 

“You better not have just left your suit dumped on the floor up there.” she chastised as she began plating up the food.

“Of course not.” he said with a sheepish grin as he came and wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing a kiss on her cheek. She knew him too well.

“Can you put the cutlery on the table?” she asked as she turned her head to give him a kiss on the lips, her stomach doing butterflies, she thought she might vomit.

“Yeah of course, no problem.” he said, patting her hip before he moved to slide open the cutlery drawer, humming to himself as he went.

She braced herself against the edge of the counter as she heard him make his way over to the table. There was the sound of metal hitting the wooden table as he began to place the cutlery down, still humming away, until he wasn’t. There was a pause before he spoke.

“Baby, what’s this?” he said, lifting an envelope off of the table. Peter grew nervous, the moment feeling all too familiar.

“Sit down.” she said, as she finally turned to face him, the food now sitting forgotten on the counter.

Peter didn’t move. “Baby, what is this?” he pressed her. He saw the frozen look of terror on her face and his stomach lurched as he raced to open it, fearing the worst. He pulled out the paperwork inside, scanning over it confused. “Angel, what is-”

“I’m pregnant.”

Peter stared at her. The longer the statement hung in the air, the more confident she grew as she slowly stepped across the room towards him. “You’re?” Peter couldn’t even say the word. He tried but it didn’t feel real on his tongue. She just nodded as she reached a hand out to his hip, the other pointing at a particular box on the page that said ‘positive’.

“I’ve known for a few weeks now.” she tried to explain. “I didn’t want to say anything until I’d had it confirmed by the doctor. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“That really bad food poisoning you had. I thought it was from the Thai food we had, but I ate the same thing and I was fine and-” he rambled as he tried to put all the signs together he knew he should have gotten.

“Pete?” She said his name tentatively.

“And then last Sunday when you fell asleep on May’s sofa in the middle of the afternoon. I thought you were just tired from work-”

“Peter.”

“Oh and when we went out for breakfast the other week, you had mushrooms on your breakfast. You hate mushrooms-”

“Peter!”

“What?”

“Does this mean you’re okay with it?” she asked sceptically.

“Okay with it? Okay with it. Why wouldn’t I be okay with it!” He beamed as he suddenly wrapped her in his arms. “We’re having a baby!” He said excitedly. “I’m gonna be a Daddy- oh!” he said as a realisation hit him. “This means I get to start calling you Mommy.”

“No. Nope!” she squealed and giggled as he held her tightly, turning his head to gently gnaw at her skin like he was trying to eat her.

“Fine, fine.” he said as she finally broke free of his arms. “But I know you’ve been itching to call me Daddy for years.”

“Noooo.” she giggled, but she knew he had her pegged.

“Yeeesss.” he dragged out the word with an exaggerated smile.

“I’m not gonna say it.” she giggled as he began to chase her round the lower section of the house.

“Oh yes, you are.” he joked, stalking her as she moved around the kitchen island.

“Pete, the dinner.” she tried to reason.

“I don’t care. Not until you say it.”

“Noo!” she squealed as she made a run for it, narrowly slipping past him and running into the living room.

“Oh you’re gonna say it.”

“No.”

“Say it!” he called out as he lunged for her, wrapping his arms around her and wrestling her gently to the floor, pinning her with his body. She laughed. “Say it.” he said again as he looked down at her.

“Fine.” she huffed in defeat. “Can we go eat dinner now Daddy?” she cooed in her most sultry voice.

He moved his head from side to side as if he were thinking about it, before saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Mommy, my dinner’s right here.” He gave her a devilish smile before shimmying his body down so his face was the same height as her crotch.

“Noo! Peter!” she squealed in delight, pretending to push him away as his fingers reached for the waistband of her trousers, her giggles ringing out throughout the house.

-----------------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading The Angel In The Garden of Evil. If you have enjoyed the story don’t forget to tip me like you would your waiter by reblogging and leaving feedback and letting me know what you think! By reblogging you also help to keep this story alive for just a little bit longer allowing new people to keep finding it for days, months, weeks and years to come. Whenever this story find you, I hope it brings you joy.

@scmdsblog @angiexsv @thef1nalgirl @did-someone-change-my-name @sincericida @tarzinnia @liz-allyn @blacksoul09 @humxncrxvings @sunnycolors @suicide-sweetheart636 @ahryi @ms-wild-card-56

[starlessskyline]

get to know me!

tagged by @robo-dino-puppies uwu

last song: i am the sea (was looking for the limsa lominsa daytime music for a wint character sheet)

currently watching: im like 4 episodes into dr stone, waiting for frieren to go free on crunchyroll and/or dungeon meshi on blu ray, not much of an anime nerd but they caught my eye lol. also distractable podcast

three ships: uuuuhhh.. TheiaxDeryk, fitzsimmons, UriangerxMoenbryda (moen my beloved, i will avenge you)

favourite colour: purple!

currently consuming: ..air? idk i brushed my teeth and am lying in bed ready for sleepies

first ship: fitzsimmons, my sweet nerd blorbos im so sorry the writers tore you apart every season and made your traumas increasingly worse

birthplace: durham, england

current location: bed, england

relationship status: aroace, n/a

last movie: i uuuuhhhhhh..... i was in the living room briefly while my sister was watching the hobbit? does that count? i cant remember what i last watched start to finish... though wendigoon's uzimaki(?) video was like 2 hours long.... maybe that counts

currently working on: BEATING THE DANG SLAUGHTERSPINE IN BURNING SHORES RAAAAAA

tags for (if you want) @magefeathered @meatball-headache @krazykitsune @shivasdarknight @oneiroy and anyone else wanting to join in 👉👈

[lostbizkits]

......heat for the ask game (I could not resist

my favourite homophobic homosexual...

-favourite thing about them

I love his character, ngl this just goes for the embryon in general, I love how human they are lmao. Heat is just so ready to embrace this new world with no qualms, we love an adaptable king.I love Agni in general. I love how he acts as a mirror to Serph both in DDS and QDS, gay shit going on there

-least favourite thing about them

HIS HAIR I HATE HIS HAIR IT'S SO HARD TO DRAW WITHOUT MAKING HIM LOOK GOOFY AND SILLY

-favourite line

"She's just pissed cuz her girlfriend got killed"

rare Heat allyship moment

-broTP

Heat and Sera but only in QDS, blasting Tadashi Satomi with my mind for his crimes

-OTP

HeatSerph obv it's just the correct option. I love toxic doomed yaoi. QDS just gives this ship so much ammo, but ngl it's already gay as fuck in DDS

-nOTP

HeatSera... blowing up Tadashi Satomi with my mind.

-random headcanon

Heat is the only one in the embryon that would know how to cook.

-unpopular opinion

I don't really have opinions on heat.. he does not occupy my mind very often :(

-favourite picture

in the manga they call him a meatball... my sillies

[tojisun]

sunny this is v random but life's been so boring recently I need to get another piercing or I'm gonna cut my hair impulsively and then regret it😐

if you feel comfortable sharing, how many piercings (if any) have you got? also what's your favourite book or movie or song or OOH your favourite album? apologies like I said I am bored and will do anything to procrastinate work [only answer if you want to🫶🏽]

im so sorry for just seeing this rn my love :((

not the impulsive hair cut 😭😭 i did that once and my bangs were shwkejke they were just half an inch long or smth it was so funny and humiliating hhrhheh

and omg of course im glad to answer these! sorry i rambled (AGAIN) so pls do forgive me heheh 😖

umm i dont have much piercings tbh! just a couple of lobe ones :’>

my favourite book continues to be tsoa! i just really love it sm. theres an argument to be made about the characters of course but the writing and the lore, itself actually, is just so beautiful. like the setup to the anguish and tragedy was exhilarating that the moment you get to their deaths, it just shatters you too. i cant stop rereading it that my book is annotated to hell now LMAO and the pages are so worn down

my favourite movie is atwow! it used to be cloudy w a chance of meatball LOL but god atwow took my breath away. the aesthetics are so so beautiful and the concept may not be as original (adapting to alien territory, being accepted by their people) but the attention to details make it such a vivid world. like the language, the songs, the culture!! and just such vast fauna and flora?? im in looove (…and jake is just fine as hell)

my favourite song is so tricky bc like how can i ever choose??? that said, i did LMAO but um rn my favourite song (the one i keep coming back to when my mind’s just so overwhelmed and i need to drown out my thoughts) is hypnosis by sleep token! the instrumentals are so reverberating that it snaps me out of my funk

fave album is meliora by the band ghost. theres not a single song that i skip, but also theres just heavy bass in this one so im actually addicted <33

HOW ABOUT YOU!! please id love to hear (read?) ur replies too :(( i wanna get to know u more teehee

oki oki das it! love u vi and take care <33

[bosskie]

Teasing 'n' Talking

Something definitely new 'n' different. (Y) I have been working one bigger piece for three days now, but it probably requires at least few more, especially when I should also do other stuff than drawing... I really wish that I could show it already since it feels like the best digital art thing of the whole year or something. So, I felt like posting this teaser thing; it's also my first Alf ever, though it's still unfinished and needs polishing 'n' other improvements.

I have just been thinking that I wanna draw some Oddworld character I have never drawn, but I don't find enough motivation to draw them without Molluck... So, yeah, all I say about this piece is that there are two characters that I have never drawn before, one being Alf, and Molluck, but it's not all. It's just one silly piece, and I have been bad at doing any scenes, but this time, I finally have been able to get some decent stuff done. (Y)

I just feel like my drawing skills keep improving, and frankly, I noticed even more Molluck stuff I have kept drawing wrong after my previous piece... Man, I gotta say that Molluck is still like the hardest Oddworld character to draw for me... I still wanna create Molluck stuff since I just love this Gluk so much that I just gotta draw or cry and draw...

Speaking about crying though, my mood has gotten worse again... Those good moments don't last long, especially when I pretty soonish noticed flaws that bother me on my latest Molluck thing... But it's still better than the most of my Mollucks, so it's fine. I just felt so terrible today that it made me cry... I'm still feeling awful, but I have been able to do stuff the whole day still.

I don't really feel like venting, but I just felt like I should quit this all and it made me cry... But I still could gather myself quickly enough and just keep doing my stuff... I just feel like what happened yesterday affected this too, since I just felt so awful about myself due to my poor talking skills... Man, how I'm supposed to socialize well orally, when I'm not really used to communicate orally... I just mostly have only myself to talk to. I just feel so embarrassing... I can just freeze and be unable to continue, when I don't have enough time to think of what to say... Man, I just feel like I hate myself so much...

But I really wish this stupid awful mood to go away... I do not wish to hate myself, but it's so deeply inside me... I have hated myself for about a decade. I'm not even sure when I started to hate myself or why exactly. But some rare positive thing I can actually say about myself is that I can at least cook good food, like juicy chicken and the best meatballs I have ever eaten, seriously. When those meatballs are perfectly succeeded, they are like one of the best food ever, and I could just eat them... Though, I have become too tired to roll some balls from that mixture, so I just slap the thing to the paper on baking tray, so it's just like one big patty. (Y) I sometimes make it heart-shaped. Man, I would cook some stuff for Molluck too, if I could... I made a stupid joke about that big patty thing recently that I could make some "meat gingerbreads" out of it, decorate them too, and give them to Molluck if I could... I laughed a lot to this thing... I don't eat that often though, mainly since I try to eat healthy stuff. But I eat like daily my own "odd oatmeal porridge" and it's like my favourite meal of the day. (Y) That whole recipe came out from experimenting stuff. And yeah, my meatball recipe is my own version too.

I just do not wish to be negative, but this is a mental disorder that I have had for over a decade. Why I never got help to it early was that I didn't saw myself worth helping and I wanted to survive alone, so I didn't even tell anyone. I was just someone who was also recently left alone and were unpopular anyway, so I barely saw point in saving my life when it felt like this world doesn't want me. I'm still unpopular and feel like that this world probably doesn't want me, but whatever, I have learned to stop caring, I have needed to, even it has also meant hardening my heart... I'm only glad if I'm allowed to exist, just like I am, especially when I'm not doing harmful stuff.

I'm just grateful for that people tolerate me and have patience for me here since it takes lots of time to heal from my mental health problems, especially when I gotta do this alone. I just have no resources to get help but also the society doesn't have enough resources to give help, queues are very long, so eh, cannot do much better, unless there was "actual Molluck" that could fund me a therapy. My country's health care is in crisis too... I really wonder how Finland is the happiest country in the world, to be honest. But my point was that I would need a long, proper therapy, but there just ain't enough resources. I don't know if it was the beginning of this year or something, but during that time there was just more news about people ending their lives because their mental health issues weren't taken seriously or couldn't get the help they needed, even if they were suicidal... So yeah, this is the situation here.

I really wish that this situation was different, but this ain't just up to me, and I have only this year realized how much that past trauma of being left alone all the sudden has affected me... I feel like it's probably the reason why I started to hate myself. The others still recognised my talent and it kept some more bullying away, like during one art lesson in junior high school, the door of the class was open and some boys that weren't having the art class "sneaked" in (I saw them all the time) to see what I was painting, and after they saw my painting, they seemed surprised (their eyes were wide open) and went away. So, my recognised talent did really save me from more bullying. I'm afraid to even think about if I were still alive if I had no talent...

But yeah, I still wanted to write some thoughts, but I didn't wanna vent, like write about the reasons why I'm actually feeling worse but that one thing. I just try to take it easy, and I always have Molluck whenever I need some comfort. I just really need daily Molluck's comfort to keep living...

[alaskas-space-project]

I don’t often post my own thoughts on tumblr but it’s 1 am and I’m not afraid of much when it’s so late (early?)

cw: discussions of ED as they relate to figure skating

tldr: my thoughts on icebreaker and what to read instead

So! I’m going to be talking about figure skating romance novels. If you’ve been anywhere on booktok or sports romance circles, or even just the internet you’ve probably heard of Icebreaker.

I mean, if you only want a romance… it’s there. But as an a beginner figure skater myself, (and someone who has a mild (overwhelming)) interest in the sport as a whole, the figure skating portrayed in the book is really mid.

The fmc (Anastasia/Stassie) is a pairs skater, and her partner has her on a diet to keep her light (???) like sir. Eating disorders are already so rampant in the fs community you don’t have to do it for her. Her BF is a very typical romance intrest and he’s like giving alpha of the college frat. I’m not going to reread icebreaker to straighten out my memories because I don’t think I can manage it.

major problem I have with the plot of this book: Anastasia changes from Pairs to Singles months before the Olympics, and wins the fucking women’s singles. Are there no Russian or Japanese skaters in this universe? But also ????? She switched disciplines only a few months before the fucking Olympics and then won. They’re different disciplines for a reason—of course the skills and many of the elements can be transferred across, but there’s a big bloody difference between the two. And then she gets pregnant. Surprise baby at like, 20!!

so yeah. Not my favourite book of all time. I mean, I’ve read worse, but that’s not really what you want to hear when someone’s recommending stuff to you.

HOWEVER!! There’s a ray of hope for us! I’ve read two figure skater romances which have my seal of approval (if that matters)

1) Unsteady by Peyton Corinne

2) From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata

I’ll try not to give any spoilers if you want to read these books.

Unsteady is another figure skater/hokey player romance, and it does what Icebreaker wanted to do. Compelling fmc, love inrest isn’t two dimensional minus his abs, and there’s a really nice plot line about the fmc’s family (she has little brothers). I generally really enjoyed this book, and it also has a Spotify playlist made by the author, which includes songs such as: Meddle About by Chase Atlantic, American Teenager by Ethel Cain and Family Line by Conan Grey.

(Mild spoilers for this one) From Lukov with Love is a a figure skater/figure skater romance. Jasmine Santos is a pairs skater who has trouble keeping a good partner, and Ivan Lukov’s partner has decided to take a break this season (despite them being the Olympic favourites??) I don’t remember if it was explained why. anyways, the two of them pair up. Now, I liked this book. It was better than Icebreaker. The characters are 25/30 years old, instead of being barely above the age of consent, which is a point from me. I have a bone to pick with Ivan though—he calls Jasmine meatball because she’s heavy or something??? And it’s addressed… in a way? Like he says “if it’s really bothering you I’ll stop, you know I don’t mean anything by it” you know how fucking fast my skate would be snuggling up to this man’s liver?? Mach fuck. But, they have a pretty interesting (good?) relationship. They’re there for eachother, and they work together to improve their skating.

A massive plus for me, which almost makes up for Ivan’s transgressions, is the realism of the figure skating here. FLWL dives into the different lifts, jumps and spins the pair do, and I love the little details the author added—she did her work! like the figure skaters falling on one side more than another (and just being used to falling on the ice lol), the solid explanations of the jumps, not making her characters constantly do triple C elements, and having the Jasmine have a signature jump. There’s a lot more details I could put in about what I liked in the figure skating of this book. it’s got my seal of approval overall.

so uh, yay! There’s my alternatives if you like figure skater romances, and you’re thinking about reading Icebreaker. I mean, I won’t stop you, but I’d definitely give these two a go as well, or instead