#meat sponge

[spiders-rob]

Fucked up and evil that I don't have another person on hand who I can force to watch The Vampire Bat 1933 with me. Screaming crying throwing up. This deserves to be canonized as a camp classic.

*Stefan voice* This movie has everything. A big fucking bottle conspicuously labeled "POISON SLEEPING PILLS", a dramatic old lesbian-coded granny who doesn't snitch, Dwight Frye playing a sympathetic neurodivergent guy, a murderer who has the most relatable hardcore dissociating face when on the verge of being discovered, the MEAT SPONGE, and random unexplained telepathy.

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Happy birthday Frodo and Bilbo, you will always be famous you will always be loved

[ythealleycat]

It's alright if my knitting is slightly crooked, imperfections are what makes handcrafted objects charming and unique :) <- very normal friendly smile, so so brave

[asheternal]

duckmeat

[fictional-men-enthusiast]

Uuh-

Ramona and Jared road-trip AU where when Ramona attacks him, he hits his head and something happens with his headgear that reverts him to his old personality, and he and Ramona decide that to save everyone, they have to go find Carl, the only person that knows how to defeat a muse.

But the catch is that Jared forgot almost everything from the IT files, too, so the only thing they know is what state Carl lives in and other than that they’re going in blind.

[eurofox]

Do people not do food hygiene in school anymore, flatmate keeps washing meat and found it gross that I don't....

[m-arahuyo]

,

[radical acceptance manifesting in preferring songbird art in full no-bullshit chrome and with Trauma and the blackwall fuckery baybee]

[dq1]

thinking again

[transjester64]

Vinny Vinesauce Art Dump

At Date: 2020

[funky-fresh-freak]

When a rom hack hits too close to home

[sneakyspades]

also came to the conclusion that taking my meds in the morning instead of at night is **catastrophically bad for some fucking reason**

[wittywallflower]

Lol ok so I just read a scene in a story where a character needs to summon a local wizard and is like “let me grab what we need” and then just grabs a dish sponge for the summoning spell, and it made me wonder if magical spells that require various mundane items and ingredients would still work if you just threw the entire contents of your junk drawer into a summoning circle. As long as the few REQUIRED items are among the clutter your spell should theoretically work, right? As long as your intentions are clearly set. could I just do a spell over my overfull trash can after roast chicken night to save the effort of gathering various herbs and the bones of a bird?

[mad-world3]

Someone please make me some delicious food

[iinsawdious]

you ever dm somebody and get extremely anxious for no reason

[strawberrysamara]

Why would you put American buttercream on a sponge cake. Why would you do that to her

[silken-moonlight]

1000 Special: Vamp!Emporer and his new concubine

A/N: It's official, to celebrate my 1,000 followers, this will become a mini-series!

The sun rose in the morning sky, its light slipping through the heavy curtains of the emperor's bedroom. A ray of morning sun kissed the exposed skin of your back, warming it gently. You found yourself in the arms of the emperor, your head on his chest and your legs entangled with his. His skin was cool beneath yours, and you enjoyed the feeling of it. You wanted to place kisses on his cool skin, but you didn't dare to move, lest you destroy this moment. So you stayed like this, letting out a sigh and relaxing back into his touch.

A chuckle left his lips as he looked down at you. You looked up at him, meeting his deep red eyes. His gaze was almost gentle. "Good morning, little love," he purred, his eyes traveling down your body as he smiled, admiring the bites he'd left on your neck and shoulders. "Good morning, Your Majesty," you replied, your voice still carrying a hint of hoarseness. Something flickered in his eyes when you said that. He sat up, releasing you. The sun illuminated his dark hair, dancing over his face as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“I will go now to get dressed and ready for the day,” he informed you as he got up. “I will leave as soon as you wish.” You immediately answered, sitting up. Already you could feel your sore legs and sensitive private parts. The bite marks began to itch and heal as well. He tutted at your answer. “Have you learned nothing from yesterday?” You blushed and kept silent. He chuckled. You saw him reach out to you, but he stopped himself and got out of bed instead. “I will send someone to take care of you today,” he continued, putting on a dressing gown to leave the room. “I will not return until late this evening,” were his next words to you, not that you really knew what you were supposed to do with that information.

“You will wait for me when I return.” His voice was dark and stern, the same voice that chose you the day you had been added to the harem. The door slammed shut behind him, and you lay back, thinking about last night with a blush on your face. Suddenly, the door opened, and two servants entered. You sat up, clutching the blanket.

“We're here to take care of you.” One said, the woman of the two said. “We will bring something you can wear for now and bring you breakfast.” The man informed her. “Then we will go to the bathhouse.” The woman added. You simply nodded, just going along with it. In a matter of minutes they brought you a beautiful dressing gown to put over your naked form, Bringing you a lush breakfast to enjoy in bed. You thanked them, eating it up since you realized how hungry and thirsty you were. Your breakfast consisted of fruits, sweet bread, and various kinds of jams. You were surprised to taste how much better the things tasted than what you usually ate.

When you were finished, they brought you to the bathhouse. They stripped you and ordered you to sit down in a bathtub. The woman began to wash your hair and massage your scalp while the man began to do a manicure on your hands. They took their time. Masks were put in your hair and on your face. Your skin was dry-brushed, peeled, and washed with different sponges. You offered to help, but they stopped you, telling you that you were supposed to enjoy it and not do it yourself. When the water lost its heat, they helped you out, drying you with the softest towels and putting almond oil on your skin. They put rose oil behind your ears, oil on your nails and fingers, and lip balm on your lips, tinting it with the color of pressed rose petals. You had never felt this clean and pampered.

It didn't stop there, you were brought back to the emperor's bedroom. There you ate a wonderful small lunch. Only the finest Red meat and well cooked vegetables were given to you. You felt so privileged, trying not to enjoy it too much. A dress Was laid out for you. It was white with golden Details.

And then you waited for him. Hours passed, but finally the door opened and he stepped in. He didn't even close the door and looked down at you. He smiled, and you swallowed hard, waiting for him to speak. "Have they taken care of you?" he asked, and you nodded. He took a step inside, shutting the door.

"I have rules for you to follow. Will you do that for me?" He asked as he took in the sight of you: Kneeling on his bed in a white, flowy dress...it made him want to kiss you. Maybe he should have a painter paint you like this so he could have this image forever.

You nodded, earning a smile. "In private you will Adress me by my name. When we have sex You will address me as 'master.'" You listened and nodded. He came closer. "If you talk to anybody about anything that happens between us, you will lose any privilege you had." Again, you nodded. With that he closed the diffrence and kissed you. You melted into his touch.

"By the holy night...I need someone like you." He whispered and kissed you again as if his life depended on it. "My beloved, my own..." he continued, making you gasp as you realized what he had just said...

Divider credit: @thecutestgrotto

Taglist: @blushycadaver