#meat john egbert

[cannibalismasametaphorforlove]

I know its illegal to talk about homesick but fuck you, I do what I want

[morethanwonderful]

So the meat and candy timelines, right?

Years ago when the epilogues first came out, I did a bunch of writing about Gamzee and his role in the Candy narrative. Long meta short, Gamzee is the Bard of Rage, which means his very presence passively facilitates destruction of and through Rage. That means literal rage, the aspect of anger, but as the opposite of Hope, Rage is also tied to the concept of truth. Rage is truth valued over comforting illusions. And Rage is also tied, via its anger element, to violence and chaos.

In other words, through his mere presence, Gamzee as Bard of Rage is the bringer of destruction via chaos and the destruction of truth. Wherever Gamzee is, things inherently become less ordered, true, and meaningful. That's why he had to be locked in the fridge for the retcon timeline to work and create a meaningful ending for Sburb, and that's why he had to stay locked in the fridge to create a relevant post-game story in the Meat timeline.

But Gamzee's not the only character missing on Earth C during the Meat timeline. The whole inciting incident for that timeline is that John Egbert, Heir of Breath, living embodiment of freedom, fucking leaves. And not only does John leave. He dies!

In the Meat timeline, the timeline with a plot all about not just narrative control but the characters' very thoughts being wrested away from them, John fucks off back to paradox space and doesn't come back 'til he's a corpse.

It's not like John's completely gone from the Meat narrative, as he spends the Meat epilogue fighting Lord English and dying in space with Terezi, but he leaves Earth C behind completely, and he's dead by the time Beyond Canon starts in comic form. The embodiment of freedom abandons the version of Earth C that is openly being puppeted by willful narrators, because on a narrative level, there can be no freedom in that space. Not when Dirk and Calliope are there writing their competitive friendfictions.

Hell, John doesn't just die in Meat. He gets erased. He is infected with a poison that is "antithetical to narrative relevance." He is removed from Meat's story as much as he can possibly be removed, and I think there has to be a reason for that.

John's ties to Breath and freedom don't make him immune to the narrators puppeting his thoughts. At least as far as we see in the Meat epilogue, that much is pretty clear. But, as the Meat epilogue itself describes it, John's retcon powers mean that he is the one character in the story to "completely transcend the partitions of canon itself." Dirk and Calliope can shape the narrative and decide what's canon, but John has the power to simply step outside of it.

So of course, the reality where Dirk and Calliope fully and openly take control has to be the reality without the living embodiment of freedom around to get in the way. If John was ever made aware of Dirk and Dead Calliope's interfering with Meat's narrative, and he wasn't actively dying of anti-canon cherub venom, he's the only character in the whole story that might be able to do something about it. Moreover, on a symbolic level, it's simply doesn't make sense to have the things he represents present in that world.

The Bard of Rage has to be locked away and disposed of to make the Meat timeline possible, but the Heir of Breath has to die.

[ender--slime]

OOPS!!!!!

[disguisedcheezed]

goofy ahh corpse.

[insufferable-homestuck]

?? what hs2 did yall read

[dailysnoozygoofs]

daY 18 Candy and Meat Harley

[goodeguy]

~ULTIMATE JOHN~

made myself an ult john design it's based off of someone else's own ult john design, tho i don't remember the artist's name, but i rlly fucked with it a lot

doodles (ft. his weapon the meathammer + typing quirks)

i like to think as now as a robot from the meat timeline, he doesn't have a voice box yet. so he only communicates through robotic sounds and emoticons i don't have an official backstory for him sadly lol, but that he's from the meat timeline

[perishrad]

fake ass ahhh homestuck2 panel

[kosonah]

you have to choose.

[tavotabotato]

More doodlies,,,,

[phantomarchangel]

Began the meat epilogue and

Yeah idk how to draw meat

[diesmercurii]

okay I’m not a huge dirkjohn shipper but. epilogue dirkjohn

specifically ult dirk and candy john. like, total control of the narrative villain vs some divorced father. and then they kiss

[disguisedcheezed]

Old Ult dirkjohn comic I drew where John gets revived and gay shit happens.

(The "HEHE" part isn't included in the comic, that's just me testing the pen lmao.)

[badlydrawnjohn]

B33 < *a wild detective davepeta appears in your inbox!*

B33 < good evening mr egbert we have some furry impurrtant business to discuss

B33 < im s33king information on the meowsteries of trickster candy and grimdarkness

B33 < ive received a tip that mew have b33n the central target of a lot of this tomcatfoolery

- @badlydrawndavepeta

EB: What's it to ya? lookin' for info? i might have some for ya... for a price!!

EB: bleh.

EB: i forgot how bad these taste!

EB: but to be actual serious, i don't really remember the details. a lot of sugar and horror terrors.

EB: sorry i don't know more dave peta sprite..

[davekat-sucks]

To the anon that posted this /John in HSBC is constantly trashed and disrespected by his so-called friends and family. Kinda wish he would do the Great Reset.../ Unfortunate, Candy John can't use those powers. He tried to in the epilogue to stop Dirk from commiting suicide but he wasn't able to. Maybe meat John when he is brought back to life can though.

Meat John, purge them!