#meat aestetic

[darius20020]

If Tumblr is made for blogs, then I'll share that sad event

My bag, which has been through a lot, is going to temporary rest, as it couldn’t bear the weight and it tore. PRESS F

[tomtit-bird8]

🥩

[gghost-chamberr]

josef would do numbers if he ran one of those like tumblr aestetic blogs instead of trying to murder people, y'know? his whole like weird meat and primal, animalistic urges thing is just like another day for the 2016 picture blogs on here

[kaycode1999]

can I get a match up for mha?

im a pretty hyper, blunt and expressive person. Im loud and usually kind of physically aggresive with my friends/famiky, as its my favorite way to be playful with those i love. Im a super spontaneous person, as my energy can be night and day depending on how im feeling. While im usually pretty open to new people and experiances, i can get overwhelmed very easily. When im angry im pretty snippy and short with others, ans need a moment to cool down before i have constructive converaation or rational thinking back. When im upset i very much shut down, and im not great with being emotionally vulnerable, but i am very aware of this fact and have been told im very emotionally mature with how i handle negative emotions as ive gotten better. While i can come off as ditzy, Im a very analytical person when it comes to the details around me, especially with people(my friends have teased me and called me sherlock with how scary i am with the little things i notice lol). I can be very sarcastic and arguementarive, to the point those around me think im trying to butt heads, however it comes from a genuine excitement towards combative discussion. I love methodical engagement, and can be quite short tempered when people arent capable of matching intellectual engagement for activities and conversation. I can be VERY stubborn as well, which(while bad in some social situations) is why im capable of pushing through very difficult tasks(have also been told that others find my “determination” inspiring as i handle pain well and enjoy pushing myself). In summary my greatest strengths are emotional intelligence, book smarts and my stubborness. My greatest weakneses are my lack of respect for myself, and my general insecurity.new

I do have diagnosed adhd, insomnia and anxiety issues if that helps with anything. Im also an entp in the myer briggs test if thats worth mentioning

im female, and go by she/her. Although honestly what people call me really doesnts bother me. As far as i know for my sexuality Im pan. Gender really doesnt matter to me i just find all people attractive.

my aestetic is all over the place tbh. Its always atleast nature relevant, but depending on the day i either look like a forest witch, a goblin, a hippy or a cottage core maidennew

for hobbies i love to draw and craft! Im a huge collector, and live for anything involving creative expression. Im also a part of a theatre group and love acting.

as for my type, i like people with a little more meat on their bones. Im usually pretty adaptive to all kinds of personalities, but im attracted to rmotional maturity and kindness. I love those who show empathy and aupport to others. (My long since crush has been fatgum lol)

for the love of everything in this world, please dont drag me into any of the todoroki family, i aint got time for that drama

Well you’re probably gonna be really happy because

I match you with

Fatgum

Hyper and expressive works well with him because he is generally an outgoing and expressive too

I don’t think he minds blunt, it’s more about honesty

As long as you’re honest with him he’ll respect it

He’s a big guy and loudish too so you have that in common

When he’s in his fat form he’s basically impossible to hurt so it doesn’t matter if you’re a little “ physically aggressive with him”

He loves a little spontaneity

He’s very in tune with your mood and energy level so he can tell your energy level/how you’re feeling

If you’re to the point where you’re getting angry/snippy or overwhelmed he completely understands the need to take a moment to calm down. Do that all you need to he’ll wait for you to take your time decompressing

He is very caring and sweet so he will help you with being emotionally vulnerable

He does think you handle negative emotions better as you continue to improve and will definitely commend you on your progress

Because he is big and more outspoken people tend to think he’s not as smart as he is so he definitely understands

He will never think of you as ditzy. He thinks you’re very smart and astute. He is also smarter than he lets on so he doesn’t want anyone to feel like they are not smart

I think he comes to understand that you are excited about discussion

I think he does find your ability to push through admirable

He definitely wants you to respect yourself and to be confident in yourself. He will compliment you all the time

Insomnia and anxiety are difficult to deal with and he wants to be there for you through it, he’ll also help you find some things to combat this no matter what that entails. If it’s alternative medicines, doctor’s appointments/medicine, therapy, etc. he’ll help you and be there through it all

[theoxvest]

The guild eating Greek food because I ate so much Greek food this weekend. Food explanations under the cut.

Egbert is eating a standard gyro. Its lamb meat usually with tomatoes and/or onions in a slice of pite bread with Tzatziki Sauce (which is like cucumber and yogurt) . I thought he'd like a basic meaty dish.

Merilwen is munching on some dolmathes which is some seasoned meat inside a tightly stuffed grape leaf. Dolmas are such a druid vibe with the leaf aestetic.

Dob is eating loukoumades which are fried donut holes with honey sauce and the best have a little nut mixture on top of them. I think he'd love his sweets to have an earthy savory side to them.

Corazon is munching on a lamb chop because it felt both piratey and fancy. He and Prudence both get a frappe, an iced coffee, just because they seem the type.

Prudence also gets a small piece of baklava to the side which if you don't know what it is my recommendation is just to try it but its philo dough with honey and nuts inside. I just think she deserves good things.

Finaly, Seal Gaiman is munching on some sesame cookies which are exactly what they sound like but they're so addictive.

[m-ziliak]

Eyyy, these were done by one of my professors in college! She's super sweet and eccentric! I think she mentioned that she thrifts the frames and paints them to match the meat. She also said she buys the meat, lights it and photographs that as a reference because painting directly from the meat model would get really gross and make the meat less aestetic/smell really bad.

She also taught us that if we feel something is wrong with our paintings we should take out our phones and photograph it. Flip the art horizontal and that'll show errors more or put it in greyscale to see if there's a tone issue.

Victoria Reynold's Paintings of Raw Flesh

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genrephobic 4/13/24

Hey Whores, I gave my two weeks this week!

So I'm really happy, not really sure where we go from here but I'm just enjoying the rush so lets get into some music.

Little Homes (2016) - FEiN

Genre: Indie Pop, Rock Length: 63:00 (16 Tracks)

FEiN an indie pop duo who have only released one album to date.

Feeling a bit like The Neighborhood or Artic Monkeys by way of tally hall FEiN is a band that feels both famalier and complex

and yeah I don't have a lot deep to say about this. Do you like Indie Rock music like the acts I just mentioned???? Then your'll like this.

3/5

Fresh Meat (2017) - Ayesha Erotica

Genre: Hyperpop Length: 30:37 (14 Songs)

I don't know how to tell you this but I don't think this album exists?

So according to the Ayesha Erotica WIkipedia, (the Ayeshapedia for those in the know), this album was planned to be released but was scrapped in 2017 for unknown reasons.

However in 2022, somebody uploaded a full album tracklist to spotify. This is where it gets crazy. Is that at some point it appears that Ayesha Erotica took all of her music offline and that people (whether fans or grifters), have been ripping her music, to spotify, bandcamp, soundcloud. Who even knows right.

Theres like at least 5 different Ayesha Erotica pages on spotify all with like different uploads of her music. But as for as I can tell from the Ayesha Erotica Subreddit the album I listened to does seem to be a semi-legit complition of the album. She is the licensing holder for the account and so forth. The Ayeshapedia has not official canonizized the tracklisting but it seems fairly legit based on there forensic construction of the proposed album.

Also I just realized I've already put in 5000s words into this review and most of you bitches don't even know who she is.

Branding herself as the 'number one crackwhore' and 'for the girls and the gays thats it', Ayesha Erotica brings a manic slut energy to the world of Hyperpop. PITK, (people in the know), are informing me that her style encompesis a lot of very specific eletro genres that I'm too uncultered to get but understand that when I say Hyperpop. I'm discussing the style of aggresive electronic dance music that incorpurates Y2K and McBling aestetics. You may have also heard of Bimbocore or Slut Pop? you get it girlies.

Ayesha Erotica is basically like if Britney Spears and Paris Hilton scissored on top of a mountain of cocaine and razor flip phones. Its aggresive, Tasteless, Overtly Sexual, and honestly a blast and there are also a lot of people that got major beef with Miss Ayesha Nicole Smith.

I honestly don't want to get into her many many controversies and parse what any of the accusations mean but just ask yourself this question. Are you the type of person whose going to vibe with this bimbo crackwhore drag persona or is that too much for you. Its ok if it is but I will honestly always kinda be a stan.

NOTE: I understand that AE is a controversal artist and I'm happy to hear your thoughts on the subject but I do ask that you be civil on my posts.

Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life (2018) - The Wombats.

Genre: Pop Rock Length: 38:43 (11 Tracks)

Honestly I don't have much to say about this.

Do you like The Wombats? This is a Wombat Album

3/5

Supernatural (1999) - Santana

Genre: Latin Rock (apparently the term is controversal??? I guess call me a fascist in the comments. I get my information from wikipedia) Length: 74:59 (13 Tracks)

Part of the Jam Bands of the 90s. Santana is a american rock band led by hispanic guitarist Carlos Santana. This album is one of the best selling albums of all time. Also you have heard some of these songs you definetly have heard smooth. \/

Mixing Psychedelic Rock with Jazz influences and there signiture 'Latin and African polyrhythms', (as the NYT puts it), Supernatural is a very complex sound that feels completly lived in.

There is something delictable about it and honestly I'm not knowledgable enough about music to really break it down. Because there are elements I can draw from it. Labels I can apply but that is one piece in a more complex whole.

Regardless I can understand why this album is on critics top lists and is a favorite of everyones stoner dad. God do I have to listen to phish for this challenge? cause honestly I'm kinda scared.

[mrduckhead]

I do not post here much here have some food

EDIT ON THIS. I DIDNT KNOW WHAT CANDY + MEAT MEANT ON THE INTERNET I JUST LIKE THE AESTETIC OF PASTEL GORE-

[putschki1969]

KEIKO New Digtal Single Release 「通り雨」 

As was already teased during today’s concert, there will be a new digital single released on October 20. However, it is not “Hachigtasu no Sora” which I originally expected it to be. It’s a completely new song! Here’s the cover image and a first promo visual! (Source)

Digital Single「通り雨/ Tōriame」 Release Date: October 20

KEIKO 2nd Album 「dew」 Announced!

Release date: 2021-12-08  (Source)

dew　※AL+ Blu-ray Disc＋Analog（EP size）First Press LE 2021-12-08 AVCD-96875/B～C 9,020円 / 8,200円 CD 桜をごらん (Sakura wo Goran), 笑ってやる (Waratte Yaru), ミチテハカケル (Michite wa Kakeru), Nobody Knows You, etc The tracklist will be 12 songs in total

DVD/Blu-ray ・Nobody Knows You TBA

Analog(EP size) 1. Nobody Knows You 2. TBA

dew　※AL+ DVD 2021-12-08AVCD-96876/B 4,950円 / 4,500円 CD 桜をごらん (Sakura wo Goran), 笑ってやる (Waratte Yaru), ミチテハカケル (Michite wa Kakeru), Nobody Knows You, etc The tracklist will be 12 songs in total

DVD/Blu-ray ・Nobody Knows You TBA

dew　※AL 2021-12-08AVCD-96877 3,300円 / 3,000円 CD 桜をごらん (Sakura wo Goran), 笑ってやる (Waratte Yaru), ミチテハカケル (Michite wa Kakeru), Nobody Knows You, etc The tracklist will be 12 songs in total

<Store specific tokutens> ■ General pre-order privilege ・ Bonus postcard [A] ■ TOWER RECORDS ・ Postcard [B] (Tower Records original design) ■ HMV ・ Postcard [C] (HMV original design) ■ TSUTAYA ・ Postcard [D] (TSUTAYA original design) ■ Yamano Musical Instruments ・ Postcard [E] (Yamano original design) ■ Animate ・ Postcard [F] (Animate original design) ■ Rakuten Books ・ Postcard [G] (Rakuten Books original design) ■ Seven Net Shopping ・ Postcard [H] (Seven Net Shopping original design) ■ Amazon.co.jp ・ Amazon.co.jp Limited Tokuten: Mega Jacket

<KEIKO FC tokutens> An official CD shop for members of KEIKO’s FC “Meat&Chocolate” will be launched! Everyone who orders KEIKO’s 2nd Album “dew” at the 「KEIKO Official Fan Club 肉とチョコレート CD・DVD OFFICIAL SHOP」will receive a member-only privilege. Depending on which version you purchase, you will get a dfferent tokuten.

① [AL + Blu-ray + analog] Benefits: Original "making video" viewing rights Preorder deadline: November 29, 2021 ② [AL + DVD] Benefits: 1 "off-shot photo" [A] (L version) ③ [AL] Benefits: 1 "off-shot photo" [B] (L version) (Source)

<Limited-time Special Tokuten>

A special tokuten will be given to everyone who orders KEIKO’s 2nd album in the target store within the target period! Attention! it is a LIMITED 3 DAY PERIOD from 10/10 to 10/12 ■ Target products: 2nd Album "dew" Release: December 8, 2021  ① [AL + Blu-ray + analog] (AVCD-96875 / B-C) ​​ ② [AL + DVD] (AVCD-96876 / B)  ③ [AL] (AVCD-96877) ■ Limited privilege : B2 promo poster (not for sale) ■ Order period October 10, 2021 20:00 to October 12 23:59  ■ Target shop: Https://shop.mu-mo.net/avx/sv/list1/?categ_id=282004     

•————— ♬ —————•

OMG, the new single visuals are totally my aestetic! Absolutely gorgeous!!! So much beauty! And I am so curious about this song!! Looks like it’s gonna be a sad ballad. Dammit, all these album tokutens are killing me. I will really have to control myself or else I will go broke. They really want us to buy five million copies of this crazy expensive album XD

[publicdeathadvocate]

While I feel it should be acknowledged that solarpunk is an aestetic rather tham an ideology, if it gets you into sustainability and zero waste, good for you.

I have some points I disagree with however, firstly, cremation should only be allowed if the body cannot serve any purpose. Secondly, perhaps brining would be preferable to embalming, and even then only after organs have been removed. that way, the meat isn't wasted.

Perhaps a compromise where the bones are returned to the family after butchering?

Dying in a Solarpunk World

So, talking about death and religion and all those things, let me talk about how I would imagine death within a Solarpunk world, given that I do base my ideas of Solarpunk not only on a technological, but also a societal aspect.

Let me start by saying one thing: No, I do not think a Solarpunk future would chase after immortality or even after prolonging life even more than we currently do. I think the ideal should be about just accepting death. No, people should not die preventable death - but also I do not think creating a culture in which people are kinda forced to cling onto a very painful life because death is just too scary is something we should strive for.

We need to talk more open about death. And... create a society, in that death is part of life again and not kept so far apart from it. People die. We mourn them. It is sad. But it is all a part of life. And that is okay.

Also create a culture, in which it is more normal for people to die in their own homes again. Where there can be care provided within their homes properly. Instead of putting them into "wait until death" institutions.

On the other hand, we also should keep in mind our culture on how we deal with the dead bodies. Right now, a lot of our death culture is distructive towards the environment.

Don't get me wrong. There are absolutely valid reasons for all sorts of death plans. Especially culturally. Like, yeah, sure, if people's religion is very linked to fire, sure, go burn the dead. And if it is part of a culture to keep the dead around for a week or two and have literally everyone come over to say their goodbyes, then yeah, enbalming might be the way to go.

But we should also make ourselves aware of all the alternative methods we do have by now. Methods that might have less impact onto the environment.

And I just absolutely do hope that in a solarpunk world laws would be less restrictive about what can be legally done with a dead body. Currently in many places you totally CANNOT legally organize a funeral yourself. You have to go through a funeral home. Which is bullshit. Heck, in Germany you are forced, by law, to put the dead body into a casket. No way around it.

And that does not only suck from an environmental standpoint, but also just... my little anarchist heart bleeds at that. People should be allowed to have some form of self-determination about what should happen with their own body - and that of their loved ones - after death.

And for fuck's sake: A funeral just should not cost several thousand bucks. Like, the entire funeral industry as such should not exist. I hate capitalism.

[anoniemus]

Or get so goth and troubled they like that psycho aestetic and beat their meat all day cuz thatS sO hOt

[please-ignore-after-midnight]

Reblog with your flavor of Cottagecore or describe your dream home

My personal flavor of cottage core would be a half-finished concrete highrise, a slim parking lot maybe, long abandoned and nearly overgrown.

1st story being an aestetic garden on the outside; pseudo living space riddled with traps on the inside "just in case" (and also for meat).

2nd story would be a workshop/storage area where i'd keep stuff like masonry and agricultural materials along with bones to make steel/fertilizer with. A small collection of swords and framework can be found here.

3rd story would be a personal storage are where i'll keep books and out-of-season clothes and equitment. Oh and don't forget the absurd pile of shinies.

4th story is where the actual living space would be and that'd include; candles, plaid couches, painted porcelan china, windowsill gardens with every herb i'll ever need, many shelves of spell jars and scrap notes, curtains of laundry hanged to dry a week ago, jerry rigged hand-stained windows from long broken shopping facades, quilts and half-finished crochet projects strewn about every piece of furniture. Plywood walls that don't quite reach the ceiling are strung with polaroids and sigils of varying quality. The largest "room" is where i have an altar and opposite of that is a simple stack of matresses and blankets with a horde of pillows.

5th story would just be the roof but also an amazing vantage for starmapping/gazing and to take in the sunrise/sunsets and perhaps a reserved space for rituals and dancing in the rain. A large, flat pile of dirt and a worn wheelbarrow mark the site of a garden. Composting, bonzai and pottery can be found here as well. Even though it isn't exactly the tallest building in the empty remains of a city, it still has a good view of the horizon, even if a handful of streets block the view.

The entire outside is absolutely covered in either the vines and moss that were there before i was or the creeping thyme i decided to plant because it looked nice on the seed packets covering murals of artist long gone. A lightning rod can be found on the corner, with a wire running into the 3rd floor to an array of car batteries in an attempt to recharge them.

Either that or i can settle for a cabin in the woods near a river. They both have the same appeal for different reasons.

[sastheforestspirit]

thank you @tamersa

Nickname - Sas, Sasa Zodiac - Gemini  ♊ Height - 173 cm Age - 27 Time - 08:53-09:26 (i spended long time on aestetic^tm) Fave bands/artists - Miura Ryosuke, LP...?? Song stuck in my head - Ryon’s “Get Up” Last Movie I Saw - Kamen Rider Accel [with Tami so we have same answer lolol] Last Thing I Googled - rowlet and alolan exeggutor card, I wanted to see bigger pic of what I saw on tumblr dot com Other blogs - FUNNY YOU ASK

Do I get asks?- super rare, mostly when I’m rebloging ask game Why I chose my username - this is my 3rd username I’ve ever choose, it’s after I broke with my ex and returned to my old nickname - sas, couse this person forced me to change it (long sotry) for ‘estra’ I was using username estra-chan for super long time and everyone was calling me estra, so when we borke up I wanted to help people to get use to my old nickname, since most of them met me, when I was estra and were get use to it. Following - 700 blogs, toku, autumn, pastel stuff blogs Average amount of sleep - 6.5 - 7, even in weekends, I’m morning person Lucky number - idk, maybe 3 What I’m wearing - shorts + camisole Dream job - idk, already gave up about ‘dream job^tm” something that would not make me stressed about it in my free time, I dont wanna cry anymore sitting under my fridge without proper meal since last day beacuse of stress, that’s it.  Dream trip - Berlin, England, Japan,  Favorite food - Bigos, pierogi, spring rolls, anything hot, okonomiyaki Play instruments - nop Favorite song - mmm idk ‘Never tear us apart’ in orignal INXS ver is bringing chills in my bones Played any sports? - nothing really Hair color - regular light blonde Eye color - blue? grey? green? depending on lighting and person I ask Most iconic song: idk what it means??  Languages I speak: Polish, English Random fact: I will kill for bowl of veggies, pepper, cabbage, radish? jesussogood cucumbers? nomnomnom never understood why people loves meat so much lol 

Describe yourself as aesthetic/things: 1)Pastel, nature colors, autumn, beige, browns, greens, 2) but also on the other hand: pink, lavender, mint etc, 3) but also (i know xD i have to many intrest sorry) I really love juicy fruity patterns, 4) but also (im so sorry!!XD) - halloween, so black, cats, spider webs, pumkins. Floral bed sheet and halloween decoration in the middle of summer at once, girly things on shelf, Minnie Mouse plushie in bed Tagging: @ashatsukino @perelka-l mm @nopedontknow @diamond-night ♥

[glitterdeerswritingblog]

Hey Mar!! I only write long stuff, so I figured I might be able to help. Writing fics, Discord, video game chats, speaking, everything I do is long-winded. Basically, add as many commas and 'and's and other stuff like that to your sentences as you want. Screw all the rules of run-on sentences and fragments, and do what fits the aestetic of the piece. Go into detail about whatever you want, whether it's talking about a character's outfit for a paragraph, or making someone have a supplier monologue, I've always found that just saying anything and everything you think about during that scene or frame should be put down. Add descriptions of what the characters are doing while conversing. Be superfluous. Use wordhippo, fingld some synonyms, and put as many variations of 'said' as you want. But make it have a point. Rambling forever where it goes nowhere can be a funny effect sometimes, like if a characters rambling, but if your story has no point, then what's it being written for? What do you want people to get out of it? That's what you're trying to do. Make someone get something. Not everything you write has to have a purpose. But let it lead somewhere. Follow the flow, throw in new ideas, do whatever feels natural. At the end of the day, what you want from a story is to enjoy it. So give yourself and others a filet mingion to sink their teeth into and suck all the steak juice out (or watermelon juice for vegans/vegetarians/people who just don't like steak or meat in general or just want watermelon rn) Not everything you write has to be important, but it has to lead somewhere. Also, you don't have to write it all in one sitting. A lot of the stuff I do, whether fics or doing posts with headcannons on here, a lot of times I'll start it and put it in save draft for a while and do something else and come back to it and finish, make adjustments and post. And a lot of times I make adjustments after I post. Don't think everything you have is written in stone, and don't be afraid to do a bit of deleting and rewriting. So yeah. Follow your heart and your brain and do whatever you feel like doing. You got this.

does anyone have tips for writing longer fics

[justkarliekloss]

Tagged by: @dorythegiraffe. Thank you! 😊

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

Nicknames: Just Vero, the shortening of Verónica. And some people online call me V, which makes me feel as if I am on Gossip Girl 😂

Zodiac: Gemini

Height: 172 cm

Last movie I saw: The Favourite, and I didn’t like it. I can appreciate that it is well done, and the costumes were gorgeous, but the plot... meh.

Last thing I Googled: If appreciate has to p or just one. Sometimes I still struggle with those things.  

Favorite musician: Martin Garrix, Calvin Harris, Niall Horan...

Song stuck in my head: Haven’t listened to music in a while, but last one I remember is “Giant” by Calvin Harris.

Other blogs: My main one, @canirove, another fan blog for Blanca Padilla and Sanne Vloet (@blancavloet), and @difashiondiaries, my fashion blog. Oh, and @klossystories to post all Karlie's stories. That's with another email and I always forget about it 🙈

Following: This is a sideblog, but on my main one I follow 179 people. Tho just 20 or so post regularly.

Followers: This weekend I passed 15k. Thank you very much everyone! 😘

Do I get asks: Yes, I do.

Amount of sleep: Around 8 hours.

Lucky number: I don’t have one anymore, but I’ve always liked 3, 7 and 24.

What am I wearing: Black leggins, red t-shirt, grey sweatshirt, and two pairs of socks because my feet were touched by Elsa when I was born and are freezing cold even in August 🙃

Dream job: I used to want to be a teacher, I even have a teaching degree. These days I am studying for some exams to work as an administrative.

Dream trip: South Africa and a tour through Europe visiting historical places.

Favorite food: Paella and any kind of meat.

Instruments: I can only the play the flute we all were taught at school 😂 Though my teachers always said I was pretty good because I have long fingers.

Languages: Spanish, English and very basic French.

Favorite songs: “Kings & Queens” by 30 Seconds to Mars has always been a favourite. And anything Martin Garrix or Calvin Harris release ends up being a favourite 🤷‍♀️

Random fact: I’m pretty good at cross-stiching (that’s what I am currently doing) and sometimes people ask me to make them frames to give as a gift when a baby is born, someone gets married... those things.

Aestetic: I’ve no idea what to answer here 😅

I tag: Anyone who wants to do it. You can mention me as the one who tagged you! 😊

[strangetobehere]

24.12.2022

1: oatmeal w. cinnamon and honey

2: 1/2 ritter sport wafer

3: small carrots

4: cauliflower, kale/apple/cabbage salad

5: the other 1/2 ritter sport wafer, kransekage

6: two kransekage

7: bun w. chocolate (christmas dinner, juleskum and candies unpictured)

had duck for dinner. first time having duck, it was all right, but not very interesting. i think after four weeks of eating meat, i have learned that i prefer beef and pork to poultry. 

it felt good eating christmas dinner alone in my room. i know something is wrong with me since i can’t enjoy and can’t stand what is considered normal. i like to exist, and feel like i am not existing. i like my own world, my own mind and my own company. i like myself and i like being with me. but everthing else, everything around me, all sounds, other people, i can’t live in a shared world.

i just want to go home and be by myself, but i also want to stay here where i absolutely don’t thrive, just to feel like maybe there is a hope that i could be someone else. i know i can’t, it is only a hope. merry christmas, this day means nothing to me, i wish it did, and that i could enjoy it, but it feels empty, like the rest of the world. i like the aestetic though