#meanwhile this wouldn't have any restrictions at all

[moonscape]

it would be really cool to have another chronicles-esque series

[thef1diary]

Hey Di! I can’t help but feel like Daniel would LOVE watching his gal get ready 👀😍

Watching Me | D. Ricciardo

Summary: Daniel can't keep his eyes off you while you're getting ready to go out.

Warnings: none really, just a lotta fluff

Pairing: daniel x fem!reader (established relationship)

word count: 988

It's just something all men absolutely hate. You told yourself when you've been told multiple times in the past that it takes you too long to get dressed.

However the man that was currently watching you didn't have any sort of expression on his face that told you he didn't like this. He had a slight smirk on his face, so it was actually quite the contrary.

During the three years of your relationship, Daniel has never once voiced irritation over it. He actually enjoys watching you go through your routine step by step rather than leaving you to get dressed alone. And that is exactly what he is doing now.

Leaning against the doorframe, he is watching you stood with a towel wrapped around your body and another around your hair. You were applying your skincare products when you noticed him through the mirror. "What are you doing?"

He took that as a sign to walk further into the room, standing behind you but not touching you just yet. "Admiring the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on."

His simple statement made you blush profusely and you shook your head with a smile on your face but didn't respond. Even after three years, he was still capable of making you speechless.

A few moments of silence later, while you continued your routine—now doing your hair—Daniel decided to wrap his arms around your body, resting his chin on your shoulder. Usually you wouldn't mind his embrace, in fact you actually liked it a lot but at the moment it restricted you from properly drying your hair. "Daniel?"

He hummed in response, "go change" you simply stated which made him chuckle. "Why, don't I look good like this?" He asked, gesturing to his current outfit he wore after taking a shower earlier in the day—shorts from his latest enchanté collection and a plain white t shirt.

You turned around, finally facing him. Placing a hand on his cheek, you spoke "as much as I love seeing those, it's our anniversary, baby." You pointed to his thigh tattoos that Daniel knew how much you adored.

He placed a kiss on your lips before walking towards the closet and picking out a suit. Actually, after going through all the suit options, he chose two then came to you to chose the final one.

Meanwhile, you decided to remove your towel and moisturize your body. Unfortunately for Daniel, he missed that part while he was getting dressed.

However, he returned to the room while you were putting your dress on. He had a white dress shirt on but didn't button it up. On the other hand, you were struggling to zip up your dress, you saw him through the mirror again, smiling at your struggles. "A little help please?"

He came up right behind you, moving your hair out of the way before tugging the zipper up. He turned you around and placed a kiss on your bare shoulder which was decorated by a small design in ink.

That's when you noticed his unbuttoned shirt. "What's this?" You asked with a smile on your face, knowing Daniel's antics very well. In fact he's been in a mischievous mood all day today. You didn't blame him, mainly because you were also in a celebratory mood, as you two were celebrating three years of being in a relationship.

"A little help please?" He shrugged, standing with an innocent look on his face. His bare torso also revealed the tattoo he had near his shoulder, of love and life, and you grazed your thumb over it before moving down his chest.

You returned the favour by buttoning his shirt up but also had a teasing smirk on your face, "am I supposed to get dressed or help you get dressed?"

"What can I say, I like taking up all your attention." He responded instantly. Truth is, with Daniel, your smile never fades away so it wasn't a surprise that you had a smile on your face.

"Is there a problem with that?" He added, but you shook your head. "No, what can I say, you already have all of my attention."

"Good, because you have all of my attention too, every second of every day." He pulled you closer by his grasp on your waist, touching your nose with his before rubbing them together. This little gesture has become a habit over the years.

"Even while you're racing?" You asked when he pulled back. Your question made him laugh, showing off his pearly whites, "yes even when I'm racing."

"Look at you, openly admitting this bad habit of yours." You clicked your tongue and shook your head, turning around to start your makeup.

"You're not my bad habit, but if you were, I'd be a goner." He stated, which made you pause. "Daniel, you can't say things like that."

He shrugged and moved next to you, picking out the products he uses to style his hair. Truth is, once you started dating him, you also convinced him to buy styling products for his hair. After all, he had amazing curls but would barely take care of them. So whenever you saw him using the products you recommended, you smiled.

Instead of looking at himself in the mirror, he was looking at you, captivated by your beauty. What can he say, he fell in love with you more and more every day.

You two were silently enjoying each other’s presence while trying to quickly get dressed as Daniel made reservations at your favourite restaurant. He finished before you, using the extra time to sit on the bed, just watching you with a smile on his face.

This is something that will never get old, him watching you with love and admiration present in his eyes.

[eggtartz]

✧ 15th October ✧

Toji Fushiguro // A Baby Isn't An Obstacle (f! wife reader)

kinktober masterlist

warnings : masturbation, soft during pregnancy sex, soft toji

it was a quiet evening where you rocked in the chair beside the windows, having a sight of the park where children played in the afternoon with their parents with them. you watched them endearingly while you rubbed your bulging belly, your baby not too long to be born now. despite all the stigma of negatives of having a child and the fact that some of them are true, you wouldn't change a damn thing because the bundle of sunshine that manages to kick you at unexpected times have given you more joy and excitement than life could.

you heard the door unlocked and looked back, to see your husband, toji coming home. he smirked at the sight of you while putting his big ass swords at the storage room beside the door. "how are you, baby?" his gruff voice greeted you while kneeled down and placed his ear to your stomach "i'm assuming both of you are having a great day" he smiled and nodded.

"indeed, we are" you grinned. he gave you a kiss on the lips, a warm and comforting one that left you fuzzy and giggling like a teenage girl. "what's with giggle, baby? anything funny, hm?" he hummed as he looked at you. "oh nothing, you manage to take my breath away everytime that's all" you smiled

"well, do you need anything? food? water? a massage?" he stood up to his full height. "it's okay, toji. you go ahead and rest" you smiled "alright, i'll cook dinner after i shower" you nodded as he vanished into the other room. you two have been married for two years now and this was your first child with him. was it nerve-wracking considering he had abandoned two of his child before?

of course it was.

however, toji took a different path now and had become a better man. that time, you knew you had to marry him. you remember how he vowed his love to you and then bought you back home and-

"damn it" you mumbled under your breath as you felt arousal creeping up. one thing they failed to mentioned during pregnancy is,

having uncontrollable libido which means you're basically in heat all the time while having a bulge in your stomach. your husband hasn't touched you in six fucking months and you were at the end of your wits. sex toys weren't enough, you needed something else. something bigger, harder.. like.. like his..

you spread your legs and whimpered, your wetness pooling at your panties as you fingered yourself at the thought of getting fucked again. you mewled, going at a moderate pace and swapping fingers inside your hungry cunt.

meanwhile, toji came out from the shower with a towel on his head and around his waist. given the ability of his heavenly restrictions, he was able to hear your whimpers from afar and rushed to your aid, thinking you were in any discomfort.

but no, it wasn't. he saw how your legs are wide opened as you massaged your tits from the dress you're wearing as you whimpered. "t-toji.." you whimpered, pinching your clit. "p-please.. need you.." your breath was ragged and his cock grew under the towel.

"oh my baby, so pretty and cute" he cooed that made you blushed. "did you missed having something shoved into your pussy? is that why?" he stroked your cheek as your mouth opened slightly "need you.. please, give me.." you whined "give you what, baby? speak up" he teased.

"need your cock please, please.. i need it inside me nowww!" you whined and came undone. your fingers were coated with your cum as toji chuckled. "that was a pretty moan right there. i'll help you, hm?"

he carried you and gently placed you on the mattress. "baby, are you hearing me?" he asked, because honestly you're drooling all over the place "baby, if you feel like something's wrong then stop me okay?" he asked, pulling the strings of your dress and pulling it down "i don't want you hurt" he said, removing your panties and your soaked bra due to your lactation.

"won't.. mmh, won't hurt.." you said, spreading legs wide. "i know but just in case, alright?" he laid you sideways as he laid behind. your could feel his hard cock caressing your back as you moaned "tch, i haven't put it inside yet" he chuckled as he spat on his hand, rubbing his cock. he gently lifted your leg up and guided his cock to your entrance, rubbing the slit that you whimpered "oh god.. oh goddd!" you screamed when he entered.

"it's the cock that made me pregnant.. it's your cock" you babbled as he thrusted in, one hand holding your leg and the other squeezing your boob. "that's right, mama" he purred "it's the dick that made you pregnant. that got you knocked up" he whispered into your ear. he had to close his eyes because damn, your pussy us tighter than he remembered. perhaps it's been too long since you two had action but toji needed to go deeper, harder.

he grab your tit and pushed the milk out of the nipple, groaning at your tight pussy. "ah, damn. i don't think i'm gonna last long" he said, desperately trying not to cum too fast "inside.. please.. inside my cunt please.." you begged oh so sweetly that he came with one thrust and into your pussy. you panted as he kissed your back.

"toji? another one?" you asked with teary eyes. "please?" you swore you could feel his cock growing in your pussy.

as he positioned you on top, he saw your glowing face and your glazing pussy. your tit was leaking with milk and most importantly your beautiful pregnant belly. toji almost prayed to the heavens for giving him a woman so perfect like you and he almost sang as you started moving on your own. "shit baby, so pretty for me" he cooed as you drunkenly smiled "mmh.. my cunt is swallowing you.. look.." you giggled.

it took every strength in him to not just ram inside you because you were clenching around him like a vice, like a suction device that won't let go. he saw his cum running down your thighs as the sounds of your hips meeting his pelvis could be heard. he played with your nipples as you mewled, as you used his cock to your joy. toji was more than happy to do as so, as he sat up and sucked on your tit.

"oh.. ooh.." you moaned as he grazed your nipple with his teeth "your milk is delicious, mama. let me have more, yeah?" he snickered as he lapped on your nipple like newborn baby as you bounced on him. your hands on his shoulders was steady as you stroke your clit "cumming! tojiii!" you wailed as he hold you close and you both came in the same time. he could feel your muscles pulsing around him as once again, your womb drank his seeds.

maybe a child wasn't an obstacle to have sex after all.

[kariachi]

A thing that gets me about the people who go 'oh well I can't have disabled characters because my setting has magic/is highly advanced scifi and it wouldn't make sense' is just-

There should be limits on what those things can do and or their availability in your setting. It's basic worldbuilding. Because if you don't put those limits in place you get- say it with me everybody, all our favorite- a kneecapping of stakes. And I don't care how good the healing magic in your world is, that's a wound that's not healing.

Fuck, even D&D can manage that- yeah you can bring a fucker back from the dead but have you checked the cost on it? An hour to cast, a diamond worth 1000 gold, can only succeed if the soul is able and willing, the resurrected have penalties to everything for four days, and unless the death was recent you can't cast spells and have penalties in everything for a day! The 'grow back limbs and shit' spell in nicer, but requires you to have a prayer wheel and holy water- and btw these are both 7th level spells, so you have to have access to somebody who can and will cast them!

Fuck, even if you don't care about your stakes and all, it's just restricting the stories you can tell in your own setting. If they're not one's you're interested in telling right now, that just means you don't take the story in that direction (it's not that hard to not have a character lose an eye or some shit), you don't have to instead cut the entire concept off. You may want to play with it someday! And congratulations, when that happens you're going to have to build a whole new world because you decided to shoot yourself in the foot before.

And meanwhile, people who care enough about your world to actually sit down and think about it will at best think you couldn't be damned to put the minuscule effort in, and at worst think you're ableist and so any work you put out later touching on disabilities in any way should be avoided.

[ultrone]

jackieshauna take skater!gf shopping 4 a new skate ﹙2.6k wc﹚ ✫ previously…

🛹 ⏆   : 🛒 ﹢

two weeks have elapsed since your skating accident. the initial days of your recovery were challenging, with open scratches and frequent headaches. however, your girlfriends wouldn't leave your side for a second, tending to your wounds and giving you as many cuddles and kisses as you requested.

you took a week off school after the doctor diagnosed you with a concussion and advised a 1 to 2-week break. despite jackie and shauna urging you to take the full two weeks, you returned during the second week, feeling well enough and not wanting to fall too far behind in your classes. throughout the first week, your girlfriends visited you before school started and after soccer practice, bringing either a milkshake as compensation for the spilled one or take-out food for movie afternoons, considering your restricted physical activity. and of course, jackie kept you well-informed on all the latest gossip circulating around school during your break.

now, nearing a full recovery, a recent check-up with your doctor confirmed the concussion is gone. the only remnants of the accident are a few scratches on your body and a healing but somewhat badass-looking scratch across one side of your face.

despite all that, your girlfriends continue to worry and insist on you taking it easy, maintaining frequent check-ups, a steady supply of take-out food, and lining up more movies to watch. shauna, being the most careful, avoids accidentally scratching the wound when she's around you. sometimes she even refrains from showing affection at all unless you request it, afraid of hurting you in any way. on the other hand, jackie, as playful and touchy as ever, occasionally bumps into the scars while expressing affection, showering you with apologetic kisses after you flinch in pain.

obviously, ever since the accident, you've refrained from mentioning anything related to skateboarding, fearing your girlfriends' potential scolding—especially shauna’s. despite this, you couldn't escape the lingering disappointment about your broken skateboard. you even convinced them to retrieve the pieces from the accident spot, hanging them on your wall as a memento of the third love of your life, which will be dearly missed.

however, your girlfriends didn't need words to understand your feelings; your frown and lingering glances at the broken skateboard spoke volumes. they could tell how much you missed skating, especially as you had to walk home from school every day now, a routine you didn't mind but would rather replace with skating if given the choice.

it was a thursday evening, and the three of you were in your bedroom, just chilling and listening to music. jackie lay on your bed, one hand flipping through a magazine while the other gently scratched your scalp. you were lying on her stomach, soaking in the background music. meanwhile, shauna lay on her stomach on the floor, engrossed in a book and highlighting passages.

“hey,” jackie said, moving the magazine out of her face. “are you two in the mood to go out? i wanted to swing by sephora to grab some mascara; i just ran out,” she explained, glancing over at you and shauna.

shauna looked up from her book. "sure," she glanced over at you. "are you up for it?"

"are you kidding?" you responded incredulously, a grin spreading across your face. "of course i'd love to go out to the mall after being confined to these four walls for almost two weeks," you declared, rising to your feet. "and school, but that doesn't count because it's practically prison with no bars," you added.

jackie chuckled at the comment. "good, because you need some fresh air," she remarked with a smile as she stood up as well. "besides, you look super sexy with that little battle scar." leaning in, she planted a gentle kiss on your scarred cheek, causing you to blush.

shauna giggled and turned to you. "i agree, you look pretty badass with the scratch," she chimed in. "but i don't know, babe..." she started, "sometimes i enjoy having you locked up in the same bedroom as us," she teased.

“oh, shut up,” you said, a smile growing on your lips as you lightly pushed shauna's shoulder. she responded by kissing your scarred cheek as well, enjoying the prominent blush that spread across your face.

jackie smirked at shauna's teasing comment. "you're so selfish," she chimed in, giving a playful look to shauna before turning back to you. "but i don't disagree either," she said, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"you're both selfish," you mumbled, leaning into jackie's embrace. "now, let's head out. i can't wait to get out of here," you said, eager to break free from the confines of the room.

as you prepared to leave, jackie shook her head with a smile. "fine," she relented, releasing you. "we won't keep you cooped up anymore." shauna opened the door, gesturing for you to lead the way out of the room.

as the three of you left the house, jackie ensured you wore a jacket, despite the warm weather. "don't want you catching a cold now," she insisted, adjusting the collar of your coat.

walking to the car, you and jackie got into the passenger seats while shauna took the driver's seat. once everyone was buckled up, she started the engine and drove away from the curb.

the mall was crowded with people, the usual busy scene of shoppers looking around, buying things, and chatting. you headed to sephora first, where jackie found the mascara she wanted. since shauna and you didn't usually wear much makeup, except for when jackie experimented with doing your makeup for fun, you both just roamed around the store, sometimes trying on lipstick or looking at beauty products.

the next stop was the food court. you hadn’t eaten since lunch at school, so you were very hungry. shauna and you decided on burgers and fries, whereas jackie opted for a salad. finding a table in the busy food court, you all settled down to enjoy your meals and chat.

jackie, being jackie, started eating all of yours and shauna’s fries instead of getting her own, as usual.

“take one more fry and you’ll regret it,” shauna threatened jackie, clearly annoyed since this happened every time.

jackie grinned mischievously at shauna, her eyes sparkling. "just one more," she pleaded, reaching for another fry.

shauna huffed and shook her head, unable to hide her irritation. "fine, take them," she conceded begrudgingly.

you rolled your eyes, shaking your head at the familiar but petty argument between your girlfriends. "here," you offered, pushing your fries toward jackie, signaling for her to have yours while you took another bite of your burger. "you two are ridiculous," you commented, smiling at their playful banter. "can't believe we've been together for a year already."

jackie smiled, taking the fries with graciousness. "jeez," she concurred, shoving a handful of fries into her mouth. she chewed her food for a few moments before swallowing, letting out a satisfied sigh. "i can't believe how fast time has flown by," she remarked in disbelief.

shauna giggled and raised an eyebrow. "yeah, it feels like just yesterday we started dating," she echoed in agreement, swallowing the last of her burger and sipping on her soda.

as the three of you finished your meals, you stood up, stretching your body. "what's next?” you asked, breaking the silence. “are we heading home already?”

“nope,” jackie said, wrapping her arm around yours, a sheepish smile on her lips as she glanced at shauna. not suspicious at all.

you raised an eyebrow, but jackie turned away, clearly trying to dodge your impending question.

"so, where are we going?" you asked shauna, your mind swirling with possible answers.

"surprise," jackie said before shauna could answer, her grip on your arm growing tighter, causing you to stumble forward a step or two. she giggled, grinning at you, unable to contain her amusement.

"you wanna give me a hint?" you asked, smiling back at them.

"maybe. or maybe not." she giggled again, leading you in a direction you couldn't yet identify, with shauna trailing close behind.

the three of you walked briskly, their excitement palpable.

"do you mind giving me a hint?" you whispered to shauna, ensuring jackie couldn’t overhear, but she remained stubbornly quiet, refusing to reveal any information.

"how about a small hint? just a smidgen?" you pressed, attempting to elicit any clue.

she remained silent, continuing to walk with a mischievous grin. instead, she took your free hand and intertwined your fingers together.

after walking for a couple of minutes, jackie leads you to a familiar skate shop. immediately, your eyes light up, your heart beating faster with excitement. you can't believe this is really happening; it feels like a dream.

shauna follows right beside you, smiling at the sight of your excitement as jackie looks on with an amused grin. as you approach the store, you see a wide variety of skateboards, wheels, and accessories on display inside. 

jackie smiles and gestures towards the door. "in we go," she says, her voice bubbling with playful energy.

"go on," shauna urges, nudging you gently, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "see what catches your eye," she says, giving you a cute peck on the temple before letting go of your hand.

you strolled through the store, feeling as light as air. boards of every size, shape, and design captured your attention. running your fingers along the smooth surfaces, you envisioned effortlessly gliding on each one. before long, you found yourself in front of a particular board that drew you in. it was a sleek, fuchsia deck with silver accents—a color combination that appealed to you.

glancing at shauna and jackie, you sought their opinion. they exchanged knowing glances, nodding in approval. "that one's pretty cool," shauna said, her voice brimming with encouragement. jackie nodded, a lively sparkle in her eye. "it definitely suits you."

with a smile, you approached an employee with your deck in hand, asking for help assembling it with your preferred setup. while you did this, jackie and shauna lingered around the store, waiting for it to be finished.

as the employee adjusted your wheels, you noticed a sign on the counter indicating they were printing personalized images that you could stick to your skateboard. an idea sparked in your mind. quickly, you edited a collage on your phone and sent it to the employee, asking him to place it onto the back of your skate atop of the original design but leaving the text at the bottom. you constantly glanced around, making sure your girlfriends weren’t nearby.

after finishing, you thanked the employee and carried your newly assembled board towards shauna and jackie, grinning from ear to ear. you subtly held your skateboard close to you, hiding the custom design from them as you hugged it.

shauna narrowed her eyes at you, recognizing that mischievous look on your face. "what is it?" she asked.

jackie squinted at the board, noting the slight discrepancy. "you got a fancy design printed on it, huh?" she guessed.

"mhm," you said with an innocent smile, "i thought it’d be cool to add a personal touch to it," you chuckled, deciding it was time to reveal your surprise. with precision, you swiftly spun the board around, revealing the montage of awkward photos of them.

shauna and jackie both gasped in surprise, their eyes widening at the sight of the montage. they looked at each other, then back at the board, their faces turning a shade of red as they recognized the photos of themselves, their laughter mixing with mortification. photographs they wished stayed hidden were now immortalized on your skateboard.

"you little—" jackie started, stuttering as she struggled to come up with an insult.

shauna chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. "you’re an idiot," she said, her cheeks still flushed, but her eyes crinkling with amusement. "but it does look cool," she admitted, reluctantly admiring the design despite herself. jackie nodded in agreement, acknowledging the creativity.

with that, the three of you headed to check out to pay for it. as you put your hand in your back pocket to retrieve your wallet, jackie stopped you mid-reach.

"don't worry about it, baby," she said. "we got it," she added as shauna pulled out her card and proceeded to pay for the board.

"really?" you asked, disbelief evident in your tone, a smile growing on your face.

“really,” jackie confirmed, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she rubbed your back.

shauna nodded in agreement, handing over her card to the cashier. “besides,” she said, turning to look at you with a soft smile, “it’s not every day we get to see you this excited. it’s worth it.”

you felt a warm feeling spread through you at their words. you couldn’t help but grin, feeling incredibly lucky to have them in your life. “thank you so much,” you said sincerely. unable to contain your appreciation, you hugged them tight, and they giggled in response.

"of course, sweetie," shauna replied, putting her arm around your waist as you hugged her, slipping the receipt into her back pocket. "we wanted to do something special for you today," she said.

your cheeks warmed at her words. “i love you,” you said, giving them both a kiss on the lips.

your girlfriends returned the gesture, their hearts melting at your words. although they knew they were loved, hearing it directly from you brought a sense of comfort and joy.

"we love you too," shauna murmured, her voice filled with warmth. jackie echoed her sentiment, her expression mirroring the same love and adoration.

you grabbed your skateboard, and the three of you started making your way toward the parking lot, eager to head home.

excited about your new board, the first thing you did the moment you stepped out of the mall’s entrance and onto the concrete was drop your board and jump on it. however, a strong grip on your arm stopped you, almost causing you to fall.

"hey!" you yelped, stepping off and turning around to see shauna, who had halted you in your tracks.

you sighed, pressing on the tail of your skate with your foot, causing it to pop right up into your hand. then, you glanced toward your girlfriends.

"i knew there was gonna be a catch," you complained, a pout forming on your face as you slouched your shoulders.

shauna rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a soft smile at your adorable expression. "i know you're excited, and i know you're tired of us giving you the same pep talk over and over again, but we really need you to be careful," she said, her voice filled with concern. she didn't want you to get hurt, after all.

jackie chimed in, "we know you don’t want to wear a helmet, so can you at least try wearing knee and elbow pads?" she asked. "you can wear them under your clothes if you're embarrassed," she suggested pragmatically.

you contemplated her suggestion for a moment before nodding. "fiiine," you whined, reluctantly agreeing but willing to compromise.

shauna released the breath she'd been holding, her gaze shifting between you and jackie. “also, we don’t want you skating for two more weeks until we’re sure you’re completely okay from your accident.”

“what?” you asked incredulously. “but the doctor said–"

“yes, yes, we heard the doctor, but we don’t want to take any chances,” shauna interrupted, cutting you off. “two more weeks. that's our final call,” she insisted.

jackie wrapped an arm around your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze. "please? we just want to make sure you're fully healed," she added, her voice filled with genuine concern.

realizing arguing wouldn’t change their minds, you relented with a sigh. "okay, fine," you conceded, rolling your eyes playfully. "two more weeks."

they both smiled, satisfaction mixed with relief evident on their faces. "thank you," they chorused, their initial concern melting away slightly. shauna caressed the back of your hair as each of them gave you a sweet kiss.

the three of you walked towards the car, your brand-new skateboard safely tucked under your arm.

[yourpalmalika]

I think BillFord possession in @honeqq 's Mr. Bill Pines worked really differently than in canon since they're so head over heels with each other

Ford would have an almost morbid curiosity of what crazy things Bill would do, to see and study the true limit of his own body; Bill isn't restricted by fear or societal norms and completely unhinged, so only he could unlock the full physical potential of Ford's form.

Meanwhile Bill realises he cares very much for this human's body and wouldn't want to harm it in any way so he doesn't do any of those things at all LOL, when he takes the wheel it's selfcare time

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

watching lute make no effort to resist vaggie putting that spear at her throat, having goaded vaggie to do it actually

going from snarling and leaning in at Vaggie as Vaggie approaches, to quiet and almost cringing when Vaggie actually does as asked and brings out the spear-

meanwhile. Lute's other arm is free. her hand is right there, perfectly capable of reaching up and grabbing the spear herself, like when Vaggie did while ripping HERSELF free. in fact the ONLY part of that's pinned is Lute's left arm. both her wings are big and strong and also not caught under rubble

vaggie fought lute off from worse positions. most of their fight was lute putting vaggie is a bad spot, trapping her in a bad angle or restricting one arm, pinning her- and vaggie NOT letting that be the end of it

but lute gets one armed buried in rubble and suddenly she's resigned to it, she's accepted that vaggie's about to kill her, she's given up

she's TELLING vaggie to go ahead and do it, goading her like she's trying to lure vaggie in for a trap

but then going quiet right before it happens

lady where did all the bloodthirsty "must make vaggie suffer!!!" rage go

you were so full of gleefully energy trying to impale an unarmed vaggie with your sword, trying to drive a shrapnel shive into vaggie's eye while you had her pinned, tackling her over a table and repeatedly slamming her face into it (wasting time on pointless pain), and you were oh SO smug standing over her once her hand was pinned to the floor by her own spear

but then she ripped that spear out, kicked you off, and because YOU wouldn't let go of HER spear , she threw you across the room where she could bring the roof down on you

and now here you are, thinking she's moments from finishing you off, and suddenly all that fire in you is gone

lute why the FUCK did you stop fighting?

are you really that pathetic?? ready to die just to prove that killing is the right answer? are you so deeply in the closet you can only accept being intimately part of another woman's life if she's about to end yours???

or are you SO unused to thinking of the people on the other end of your blade (never thought about them as people) (their pain and fear) that finding yourself there just shuts you down completely? better not to beg or admit you're scared (even when you clearly ARE), better to ask for death than to be in ANY WAY connected to the sinners who screamed for their lives as you killed them

is that part of why vaggie can keep on fighting through pain and hopelessness that stops you cold

she's been thinking about it

sinners as people. their pain as hers. the other end of an exorcist's weapon. she thought about it the day you took her eye and wings. she saw it in face of that cannibal kid- she FELT it

lute only finds the strength and will to tear herself free After vaggie is gone. After the spear isn't pointed at her anymore

vaggie fights lute off even when she's trapped, battered, barely able to move in the end- even with a blade in her face, even with her own spear impaling her hand

lute has that killing intent but she's shit at dealing with almost being killed herself

vaggie's the one who was ruthless. the one who was relentless. vaggie's the one who just. wouldn't. stop.

also she looks really good splattered in glow-y angel blood

even if it's hers XD

[skellitivly-positive]

Fulfilled.

Again!! This isn't a kink work, please don't treat it like it is!!1

Cw!! This does cover disorderly eating and restricting, stay safee! ❇

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Horror had a habit of overfeeding the others, while underfeeding himself. Murder and Killer would go to bed in sweat pants or athletic shorts, bellies full and eyes sleepy. Anything leftover stored away by the big guy himself, not wanting to 'take' any more leftovers incase the others wanted more.

Of course, his two mates noticed almost immediately. Noticed how for a guy so tall, his ecto wouldn't even summon due to his self induced malnourishment.

So one day, Killer decided to do something about it. Firing up the stove and using whatever recipe came up first in Horror's cook book.

Meanwhile, Murder napped atop Horror in a cat like fashion, awaiting Killer to be done and knowing the taller was unaware.

Once Killer was done with what turned out to be meatloaf, grilled vegetables, with mashed potatoes, Murder awoke the sleepy Horror and guided him into the kitchen. Taking his own seat next to the bigger fellow.

Horror seemed both distraught and surprised Killer had cooked, insisting he could've done it. But Killer protested his words, saying he was glad Horror just napped, and he should let someone else handle things awhile.

So Horror was served a rather large serving, bigger than Killer or Murder ever get. Murder leaned into Horror's side, as Horror stares down at the plate in near horror. But not wanting to offend Killer, he hesitantly takes a bite.

And loved it.

As Horror enjoyed his fill, Killer told Horror there was one rule to eating his dinner, getting an expression that mimicked a raised eyebrow.

Killers rule was Horror had to eat until he was full. Not one serving because that's what was 'acceptable'. No lying about not being hungry anymore—Horror had to eat until he was genuinely satisfied with his meal.

And Horror protested, saying he'd eat way too much. So Killer put it in perspective. Saying that they were all in a position where they didn't have to rely on leftovers. There wouldn't be a day where they'd suddenly be out of food—Horror, all of them could eat literally everything in the fridge tonight, and could shopping for more an hour later.

They aren't starving.

And that's when the big guy realized, the only one that's been starving was him. So set on making sure everyone else was satisfied with how much they got to eat, he'd restrict himself as much as he could.

Looking down with mild anxiety at his empty plate...

He asked for seconds.

Horror belongs to @/horrortalecomic!

Killer belongs to @/rahafwabas!

Murder belongs to @/ask-dusttale!

Remember my works are not undertum! Please do not sexualize a healthy relationship with food and body!

[acewithapaintbrush]

I really love @daedelweiss Life Mission AU and especially how close and affectionate the twins are so following my MO I just had to write something. Hope I got the characterisations right.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

"And this is 'Run of the Mill Pizza'! The best pizza place in the Hidden City. Ah, what am I saying! In the whole world!"

Leo spreads his arms wide and wiggles his fingers a little. It's easy to see how much he loves this place and how giddy he is to show Donnie. 

Don meanwhile is not particularly impressed. It seems like a nice enough place, but it's nothing fancy. The furniture looks old, the smell of cold pizza hangs in the air and the clientele… well, some of them he wouldn't want to meet in the middle of the night, let's just leave it at that. 

Don has occasionally accompanied Big Mama to meetings with important people at big and fancy restaurants, so he knows that this is definitely not the best Italian place in the Hidden City. He doubts this place sells a calzone sprinkled with gold leaf or champagne for 50 dollars a glass. 

But his twin looks so expectant and proud. 

"It's amazing." Don agrees easily. He looks around a bit more and his polite smile gradually turns more real. It does look a lot  more cozy than the other places he's been to and Don has recently developed a new fondness for all things cozy. He's lived his life surrounded by sharp words and restricting armor long enough to last him a lifetime. "It really is, Lee." 

"Pepino!", a voice shouts from behind them. "I hope you have come to pay your tab. You still owe me for the last delivery." 

"Tio Hueso!" Leo pulls Don towards a skeleton in a suit who manages to appear as if he is raising an unimpressed eyebrow without actually having an eyebrow. Don is kinda jealous. "Apart from the fact that I still can't believe you would charge your own godson for pizza, I've actually come to finally introduce you to my twin. Donnie, this is Tio Hueso. He runs this place and he looked after me while Dad was out looking for you all. Tio, this is mi hermano, Donnie."

The tall skeleton stares down at Don who does his best to not let on how intimidated he is. The void where this man's eyes should be seems to grow darker and darker the longer Don looks into it. The pinpricks of light don't help any.

But then Hueso smiles and it transforms his whole face. He suddenly doesn't seem nearly as scary. 

"Ah bueno. So we finally meet." He holds out his hand and Don straightens and shakes it with a firm hand. Some of Big Mama's lessons stick around longer than others. Hueso nods in approval. "I was glad to hear that you are alive. Welcome home, mijo. It's good that you have finally found each other again."

"Uh… Thanks." Don shuffles his feet while Leo beams and looks between the two of them with wide and hopeful eyes. The genius suddenly realizes that Leo must have been just as nervous about them meeting as Don has been. He suddenly feels very bad for his first uncharitable thoughts about this place. 

"Si. Very good. Good for me!" Hueso exclaims after a brief pause. He puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head. "Ay, that boy talked about you nonstop. My poor ears." 

"What ears?" Leo mutters sullenly. There is a light blush spreading over his cheeks. 

"'Oh, I'm sure my twin would have been super strong and super smart. Oh, I'm sure he would have been good looking, just like me, and an awesome ninja and super kind.' On and on and on he went." 

"Thanks Tio Hueso. I think we'll just-" 

"He drew pictures of the two of you and your other brothers all the time. I'm sure I still have some lying around."

Hueso disappears into the back, completely ignoring Leo's indignant spluttering and red faced outrage. 

"That you still have them only proves that you actually care! I hope you know that!" The slider shouts after him. He turns to his twin when it becomes apparent that Huseo is ignoring him. "Coming here was not an excuse for him to embarrass me." 

"Embarrass you?" Don asks and smirks. "As if the lair isn't plastered with your childhood drawings of us all." 

Leo pouts. "That's different."

"If you say so." Don leans back against a table and settles in to wait. As much as Leo acts long-suffering, he's also not made a single attempt to leave before Hueso comes back. The soft-shell turtle fiddles with his hoodie, surprisingly feeling a little bashful, a little unsure, all of a sudden. "Strong and smart and kind, huh? Guess you were pretty disappointed when you met the real me." 

He winces. Where did that come from? He is usually much better at keeping thoughts like that inside his own head. 

Leo doesn't react at all and when Donnie finally dares to look up it's to see his brother staring at him with a gobsmacked expression. 

"What?" 

"Ugh, forget I said anything." 

Leo takes him by the shoulders. "You are strong and smart and kind and an amazing ninja. You are the best, ever! Ever and ever!" 

Donnie groans and throws his head back so he can stare at the ceiling, but he doesn't even bother to hide the grin spreading across his face. "Okay okay, stop it already! I'm awesome, I get it." 

"You are." Leo's serious tone is enough for Don to snap his head back down. Leo stares at him with a mixture of pain and happiness that only his twin seems capable of. "You all are. The days I found you and Raph and Mikey were the best days of my life. All of them. How could I ever be disappointed?"

Don finally gives in and pulls Leo into a hug, burying his head into his brother's ever present scarf. He still has trouble showing affection in public, but for his family he is willing to learn. 

They separate quickly enough and Don is a good brother and so he ignores the way Leo surreptitiously rubs his face into the folds of his scarf to get rid of some treacherous tears. Instead he lightly punches his arm. "And what about handsome?" 

Leo acts like he has to think about it. "Well, since we are twins I'd say yes. Incredibly handsome." 

They are still laughing when Hueso comes back with an old drawing. If they were more familiar with each other, Donnie might have teased the man about the fact that it's in a very nice frame. As it is, he grabs it before Leo can stop him. Don can't help the undignified snort that escapes him at the sight of it.

"If that is how you always pictured me, then I believe you about not being disappointed." 

Leo chuckles and rests his chin on Donnie's shoulder so that they can both look at the crude drawing of a lonely 5 year old together. 

"Yeah. Definitely better than anything I could have ever pictured." 

[11queensupreme11]

It sounds like part 4 is just going to be the ror!gods going "oh well this will be fine what's the worst that could happen" only to be immediately proven wrong by the pjo!world. To them Percy's world probably seems like some kind of apocalyptic dystopian death world with a personal grudge against Percy. New horrors everyday. Anthonius is allowed to exist. Can you tell me each love interest's least favorite thing that is not Percy related? (ex Poseidon hates that pjo!Poseidon is a whore)

poseidon: absolutely HATES the state of his seas. his counterpart only has a kingdom because he didn't think to conquer and expand??? pathetic. it's so polluted too, WHY DOESN'T PJO!POSEIDON KILL THE HUMANS FOR SULLYING HIS TERRITORY??? there's aquariums, FUCKING SEA WORLD, grocery stores selling dead fish, countries whose main diet consists of SEA FOOD. poseidon is frothing in the mouth with rage

hades: absolutely hates the relationship the elder olympians have, especially the big three. it actually kinda hurts him how broken this family is. he's very disappointed in how the pjo!big 3 behave. they're having petty arguments with each other and killing each other's kids because of it! he is especially disappointed in pjo!zeus, he's become a power-hungry, paranoid, tyrannical king and that says a lot because his little brother is literally called "the tyrant of the seas"

loki: absolutely hates the idea that pjo gods have fallen so low that they would lay with a HUMAN and have half-breed children (which is very hypocritical of him because he's in love with a HALF-BREED, but he'll just say "she's an exception ofc! 💖"), then have the gall to look down on them despite literally needing their existence to survive? no seriously, loki hates how the pjo gods actually NEED humanity to exist in order to not fade away. it's disgusting to him

beelzebub: hmmmm this was kinda hard for me because there are many reasons he hates the pjo verse but most of it is percy-related. the one thing he really hates is how dangerous everything is. this man is super overprotective (for obvious reasons) so learning that demigods literally have monsters hunting after them like 24/7 makes him worried af and paranoid. the fact that percy's constantly sent on quests and wars??? he'd hyperventilate. it does not help learning that greek demigods barely make it to adulthood 💀

apollo: this one is more specific, but he hates how pjo!apollo wasn't allowed to save artemis after she was kidnapped. pjo!apollo wasn't allowed to interfere and literally risked getting into A LOT of trouble by breaking ancient laws to help percy and the questers. ror!apollo really really REALLY doesn't like the "no interference rule".

but i think THE NUMBER ONE THING that ALL ror gods hate the most..... is how restrictive everything is in the pjo verse.

think about it. there are SOOO many things that the pjo gods can't do that would just baffle ror gods:

they can't go to each other's realms/homes. early in the lightning thief, percy asks why can't zeus and poseidon just go to the underworld and to beat up hades for stealing the bolt and chiron was like "they're not allowed to". like, that's just insane for ror!gods!!!

they can't reveal themselves to the humans??? ror midgardians don't believe in the gods anymore because the ror gods literally hate their asses so much that barely any of them go down to midgard anymore and just chill in valhalla. meanwhile in pjo, humans simply stopped believing in them and the gods decided they should play along and have hecate create the mist so they wouldn't know about the "mythical" world

they can't interfere too much in the lives of humans. humans are literally fucking up the environment in pjo and gods don't go around committing massacres as punishment because they're no longer allowed to interfere or something like that 💀 then there's the ror gods casually committing genocide on multiple nations and even going so far as to COMPLETELY WIPE OUT ALL OF HUMANITY 💀

can't go around killing humans whenever they want cuz they need them to survive. also connected to the one above. pjo gods need demigods and humanity in order to not fade away from existence. which is VERY weird to ror gods because their existence is not influenced by humanity AT ALL. it's why they're able to commit so many genocides against them.

can't raise their demigod children. yeah a lot of ror gods are gonna be disgusted at the thought of half-breed kids existing but like.... they're genuinely confused as to why pjo gods can't raise them cuz wtf

can't act freely so they gotta use demigods to do their dirty work. connected to the "can't go to each other's realms/homes" and "can't interfere too much" rule ^^. because of how restricted pjo gods are, they gotta act indirectly by using demigods to do their dirty work for them (pjo!apollo couldn't save his sis because he wasn't allowed to, had to literally break ancient laws just so he could give percy and co some help). ror gods have no such restrictions and can do as they please

and im pretty sure there's more, but that's the gist of it that i can remember rn

[markantonys]

"Rand's misguided chivalry is a central flaw of his character. If you remove it from his character in the show he's not the same character anymore." I have seen this argument few times about Rand and I have never understood it and strongly disagree. I always felt that his central flaw was believing he has to do everything alone. And his chivalry as it's depicted in the books simply wouldn't work with how show Rand has been characterized thus far.

Like, show Rand actually respects women as individuals whereas book Rand puts them on pedestals (I love him but it's true). I am curious how the show is gonna handle his conflict with the Maidens cause I can't see show Rand forbidding them from fighting cause they're women. The only thing I can think of that the show might do is he's hurt when they in particular die cause they're all he has left of his birth mom cause she was a Maiden.

100% agreement! imo many readers mistake "X is a big thing in the books" for "X is an important thing in the books" (though of course, we all have our own personal opinions on what is important or not based on our own individual interpretations of the story, so MY opinions on what's important or not are hardly right all the time either!). is misguided chivalry a big thing with rand in the books? yes. but does it affect the story or his character development in a significant way? i'd argue it doesn't, in the sense that the same narrative purposes can be accomplished by making his attitudes gender-neutral. if you change "rand has a problem with women dying for him" to "rand has a problem with anyone dying for him", or "rand wants to protect women" to "rand wants to protect everyone", or "rand/LTT is traumatized by his murder of his wife" to "rand/LTT is traumatized by his murder of his whole family", that doesn't alter the core of his story & character. the core of rand is someone who's so afraid of and guilty about hurting the people around him that he pushes them away and tries to carry all his burdens alone; there's no narrative need for him to have a specific hangup about women getting hurt, and that core doesn't change if that hangup is removed.

plus, multiple male characters share the same hangup about women getting hurt. how can misguided chivalry be soooo central to Rand Specifically when mat and perrin also suffer from it? when practically every society in WOTworld is set up to keep women from being soldiers or participating in situations where they might be harmed? even the aiel & seanchan place restrictions on what women are allowed to be warriors (only the unmarried & childless, because as soon as you become a man's wife or a child's mother your most important duty is now staying alive and safe For Them; meanwhile husbands and fathers have 0 restrictions from being warriors in any WOTworld society). imo it was much more of an internal cultural bias on RJ's part than it was a specific character choice for rand and rand alone (which is not a knock on RJ; all storytellers have their own internal biases that they bring to their stories, it's human nature! but not all of those biases are required for the story to work, and it's also human nature for adaptors to replace the original creator's biases with their own.)

it's also worth noting that the show is being made in a different time than the books. no matter what some readers think, a story being told in a different time HAS to be altered to better suit the audience of that time. we're supposed to sympathize with rand, but most viewers in the 2020s would find his benevolent misogyny irritating and frustrating, and it would turn them off of his character and make them find it difficult to understand or sympathize with his actions or his trauma. as someone who came into WOT brand-new in the 2020s, i had absolutely ZERO sympathy for any of rand's moaning about Must Protect The Women and all of that stuff accomplished nothing besides making me want to bang his head against a wall (i still love him though lmao). it was genuinely detrimental to the pain i was supposed to feel from rand's arc because i kept getting annoyed instead of sad! and i would be FAR from the only brand-new-to-WOT-in-the-2020s person to feel that way if the show had included that angle. for example, rand struggling to hurt lanfear ~because she's a woman~ and moiraine "dying" as a result would have 2020s audiences screaming at him for being a fucking moron, and a sexist fucking moron to boot. rand struggling to hurt lanfear because he's wrestling with extremely complicated feelings for Her Specifically due to the situationship she manipulated him into and moiraine "dying" as a result will be a hell of a lot more sympathetic to 2020s audiences and will allow the genuine tragedy of that moment to come across.

that's really what adaptation in a different time is all about: look at the intended emotional effect of a scene in the original work, and alter the scene as needed in order to inspire the same emotional effect in these different times. because 1990s audiences are different from 2020s audiences and sometimes it takes different methods to give them the same emotional reaction.

as for the maidens, in addition to your reasoning, it'd be super easy to simply say "the maidens are the sub-group among all rand's armies that he feels emotionally closest to, hence their deaths hit him the hardest." there's a really familial relationship that develops there - of course rand would be cut up when members of his Found Family die! there's no reason it needs to be related to the maidens being women. rand's behavior with them would change 0%, it would only be the motive behind that behavior that's different (different and far less annoying, and thus more moving and emotionally impactful).

[hypergamiss]

In your opinion, why do you think men choose unattractive and mean women to be their wives? I know a woman who is over 300lbs and has a horrible attitude, but her husband makes great money and he thinks she's the hottest thing around. Just imagine a very large woman, with a potty mouth, badly done tattoos and a septum piercing. They got married very young, but before him she had plenty of men interested in her. I don't get it.

I knew her briefly and quickly grew tired of being around her because she's not very nice and we just didn't have much in common. The only reason I kept her around for as long as I did, was because the business she had, gave her access to all the elites in our city--she had the best gossip. I learned about the weak spots for a lot of the upper class families, through her. But I got tired of her because every conversation, she had to remind me that she didn't have to work and that she only created her business because she got tired of being in the house all day. She's even aware of the way she comes across because she labels herself as an "asshole". She expressed that she doesn't get along with most women because she's "not interested in the things most women are interested in--like shopping." Her hobbies are smoking weed and nothing else. In other words, she's trashy lol.

Meanwhile, I'm attractive, sweet, funny, educated and have never been in a relationship. I just don't understand men at all. Women who I would think would be considered undesirable and gross by men, have great options. Men say they want a woman who's nice, attractive, and not lazy and then choose the exact opposite. I'm just confused.

She's just confident. Even if it's a "bad" type of confident, she clearly doesn't ever doubt herself and knows that she can get what she wants. I've said this before, most women think you need to be a 10/10 to be with a man that would give you the world. Literally any woman can get treated right if she plays her cards right. Yes, attractive women will always have the upper hand, but that doesn't mean the less attractive ones can't get the same outcome. If a man had to choose between me and Gigi Hadid, Gigi is winning. But no big deal, there is another man who isn't even on Gigi's radar that can give me everything I want. Think of all of the celebrities or well off women who are not attractive at all but clearly have everything they want in a partner. They didn't get it by having low self esteem and complaining about their circumstances. They decided to fully grasp the concept that women hold so much power. They have the same lady parts as the attractive women and the ability to strengthen their game in other ways that are not superficial.

She knows how to seduce.

She knows how to keep a man on his toes and keep him constantly chasing her, always trying to win her over.

She knows how to keep her boundaries and restrict access to herself when she doesn't get what she wants.

She knows how to reward her man when he does well by her.

She is selfish with her time, she doesn't lose sight of her goals and ambitions.

She puts herself first overall.

Notice how none of this has to do with looks. Looks at this point are just a cherry on top if you know how to make a man crazy about you. I'm not trying to say that she's a good person, but it's fair to give credit where it's due. She values herself and doesn't accept anything remotely close to being below her standards, even if she doesn't meet those herself. You can be a good person and still know how to play your cards right, or else I would just stay single forever because my moral compass wouldn't allow it.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of wondering how she got so "lucky," study her with a grain of salt and learn how to do the same or better.

[theseeingfawn]

Summary:

The infamous Shadowsinger finally reveals himself to the new gang in town, sending shockwaves through the criminal undergrounf. Meanwhile, Elain struggles to come to terms with her growing desires. As tensions rise, Azriel and Elain embark on a charged first date, unable to resist giving in to their powerful mutual attraction.

Elain

Why is it the moment you know you can't have something that's suddenly all you can think about? Last night, after Azriel left, I spent the rest of the evening in a daze. I washed the tea set we had used so many times I ran out of soap. I decided to binge watch Peaky Blinder but had no idea what was happening. I tried to take a bath but the one thing the water couldn’t cleanse were the dirty words Azriel had said in his deep shadowy voice. Gods the way he looked at me, somehow touching me without using his hands. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. His words echoing in my mind, playing on repeat. No fucking. No fucking. No fucking.

My body felt like a live wire of restless energy with no outlet. It took me hours to fall asleep. HOURS. 

When I  finally managed to drift off, I dreamt of him. He was doing the very thing he said he wouldn't. 

Now it’s morning and I’m barely awake floating between dreamland and reality. My skin is flush, my clothes feeling too restrictive. A part of me thinks he planned it. He seems devious in that way. Like he’s playing some reverse sex mind games on me and godsdamn him it’s working. 

The sound of my phone going off reminds me that I have to return to the real world. It’s Cerridwen begging to let her in the shop. In my panicked daze I throw together an outfit that doesn't make me want to die from heat exhaustion. I rush down the stairs and let her in. She whistles, “damn girl, you're looking hot.” I squint my eyes at her, “Why is it so hot in here? Is my AC broken?” 

She looks at me with concern, “it's a normal temperature, what has gotten into you? Oh shit, do you have a fever?” She slaps her hand onto my forehead. “Nah, you feel fine. But maybe you are fighting something? Do you know anyone who's sick?” I nod and mutter, “Azriel.”

“What did you say?”

I don't bother responding, I just head straight into the walk-in freezer for some relief.

-----------------------------------

“I’m telling you, it's a crime wave.” I hear Pauline shouting all the way from the kitchen. It's the morning rush when the townsfolk come in for their coffee and pasties. My shop is the first business open on Main Street and everyone, and I mean everyone , comes here before the day gets started. That's why I am scrambling from one end of the kitchen to the other preparing and finishing up orders. Usually I work up front but I'm not feeling up to socializing, despite the three shots of espresso I've had. I'm grateful I opted for less clothing today, with the heat of the ovens and me running back and forth, I am liquid fire. 

Cerridwen pops her head in looking flustered, “are you finished with those orders? I'm dying out here.” Cerridwen and her twin sister Nuala are my best friends and coworkers. They help me run the bakery. Sometimes, they even run it without me so I can take time off here and there. They’re the only people I trust to take care of my baby. So, when one of them says they need help, I know all hell has broken loose. “Let me plate these quiches and I'll be right out.” I finish up my task and carefully balance five plates on my forearms and hands. When I step out of the kitchen, I see what Cerr meant. It's standing room only and there is barely any standing room.

“I'm telling you Lucien, first Gabriel was streaking and now Lainey’s got her tits and ass out.” I nearly drop my plates. Thankfully, Cerr is there to lighten my load and help me out. Lucien has his back to me and gently pats Pauline on the arm, “Now Pauline, I told you Azriel was just running. It's not unusual for a man to take his shirt off while exercising. Besides, that is why we have the citizens watch.” Pauline huffs, “that's what I'm trying to tell you Lucien, our citizen watch has a report on Lainey.” I sit my plates down at their respective tables and walk up to Pauline. 

“What the hell Pauline?” She gasps like we’re on a soap opera, “Lainey, don't you run that potty mouth around me. Look at you dressed like a harlot and cursing like a sailor, what is happening in Hewn Hills?” 

Lucien looks me over, utterly bored. I glare at him until he turns his head away. “It's called a mini skirt Pauline,” I deadpan. She scoffs, “Well, Lucien, what are you going to do about it?” I cross my arms and look at him, “Yeah Lucien, what are you going to do about it?” I'm in no mood to humor the citizens watch today. I'm cranky, hot and out of fucks to give. Azriel has given me  permission to be bad, and after my terrible night of sleep, I’m more than willing to embrace the dark side. Lucien sputters, “well I… you see… Look Pauline, Elain isn't dressed like a harlot. So, I don't see an issue here.” She narrows her eyes at him, “Not like a harlot? She's all sexed up!” I hear Cerr snickering in the distance. The whole bakery goes quiet and turns toward us. Lucien looks me over one more time, “I don't think there's anything sexy about it.” 

Pauline guffaws, “I see what's happening here. It's like a boiled frog situation. You are so used to Elain's naked body you don't recognize when she's barely clothed.”

I feel my whole body shake with rage. Enough is enough . “Pauline, Lucien has never seen me naked. We are not in a relationship!” There is an awkward pause before Bob, the hardware store owner, says, “Didn't you two just go on a date?” 

Oh for the love of… how is my every move tracked by the people in this town. Lucien just stands there silent, not saying a word. It dawns on me that his unwillingness to speak up and clarify things has hurt me just as much as the gossip. All he has to do is set the record straight, say that we aren’t dating or he hasn’t seen me naked. Or heaven forbid I’m not required to date him. That I don't belong to him like I'm some sort of broodmare, but he doesn't. He is content with the status quo because it isn’t hurting him the way it’s hurting me . That spark of confidence, or maybe rage I felt earlier returns. “Lucien and I aren't dating. I'm… I’m seeing someone else.” I'm not exaggerating when I say the shock that filled the room was like a thunder clap. 

Before the town can scrape their jaws off the floor, I walk back to the kitchen and hide in the freezer. Not that I can escape the torrent of messages currently flooding my inbox.

Feyre: You're not dating Lucien? *read*

Nesta: Who is the mystery man I need to kill?! *read*

Cassian: Get it gurl! 🍑💦🍆 *read*

Rhys: Elain, Please respond to your sister. *unopened*

Hewn Hills Hussies group chat: 

Nu Nu: 🍾 girls night stat

Cerr: we need the deetz

*read*

Mr. Naked: Got something you want to tell me?

Elain: I didn't name drop I swear! I just panicked.

BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ

“Well … well… well if it isn't Mrs. Naked.” I groan. He laughs. I bang my head against a 20 lb sack of flour. “It’s not funny, I panicked Azriel, I couldn't handle the whole town thinking Lucien’s seen the goods.” He hums, “yes, they are clearly concerned for you.” I let out a long suffering sigh. 

I hear loud music and talking in the background, “Where are you?” 

“A bar.” 

I laugh nervously, “Why are you at a bar at 8 am? Why is a bar even open at 8 am?” 

The echo of pool sticks clanging fills the air, “I'm at work.” What kind of job does this man have?  

The image of him smiling wickedly as he said “bad things done extremely well” pops into my head. He rendered me speechless with those words, so much so that I forgot to press further. If he thinks I'm going to drop it he's delusional. I'm nosy and love a good secret. Nothing will keep me from finding out. But he doesn't need to know that. I can play the long game. 

“Well, your job seems a lot cooler than mine and I'm in a freezer.” 

“Why are you in the freezer if you're barely clothed, Mrs. Naked?” 

I groan pathetically, “I'm not naked Azriel, I'm wearing a mini skirt and a crop top.”

“And no bra.” 

I gasp. “What!?” I nervously look around. Does he have spies everywhere? Maybe he is James Bond. “How do you know that?” 

I can almost hear his smug smile. “Did you know there is a town discord?” I shake my head, the horror of my reality hitting me at full force. I let out a pathetic little, “No.” 

“Well there is and according to slimjim46 you're not wearing a bra. Sadly no pictures though.” 

What in the hell is going on?  

“Ughhh, how do you know about the town discord but I don't? And my chest is no one's business.” 

“It's my job to know these things and some might say it's your boyfriend's business.” Before I can respond he asks almost tenderly, “Do you need to give them my name so you come out of the freezer?” 

My stomach does a little flip. He's willing to take on the insanity that is this town for me and gods know what with his job. “That's sweet of you to offer but I need to woman up and clean up my own messes. Besides, it's more fun to leave them guessing.” 

I can hear his grin through the phone, “it's also the bad thing to do.” I agree and whisper, “so bad.” I swear I hear a groan before he says, “tell me Elain, what's got you so hot and bothered?” 

I roll my eyes, “who says I'm hot or bothered?” 

His voice dry and straight to the point, “you're currently hiding in a freezer and your teeth aren't chattering. Seems like something or someone has gotten under your skin.” The arrogance of this man is unbelievable but my gods is it a turn on. 

“Elain, I told you we can't fool around.” 

I let out a very unconvincing, “pfft that's not what's going on here.”

I sense his damn smug smile again, “Good, then you are ready for our first lesson in being bad.” I swear he pauses for dramatic effect, leaving me waiting on bated breath.

“I’m busy the next few days but I can take you out on our first date on Thursday night, if that works for you?” 

I pretend to think about it, “Yeah, I'm free.” 

“I’ll send you instructions, and Elain be sure you’re dressed to ride.”

-----------------------------------

It took me several minutes to realize what he meant by ride. Hello gutter, have you met my mind the last twelve hours? He meant a ride on his motorcycle… obviously. The problem is I don’t have any cool clothes for riding a motorcycle, but I know someone who does. I spend the rest of the day dodging questions at the bakery and avoiding my growing list of unanswered text messages and voicemails with the exception of one person… Nesta. 

She usually avoids me and everyone else for that matter unless she needs something. Which is why she attends Inner Circle dinners, Rhys and Feyre are bankrolling her life. I take a deep breath and text her…

Elain: Can I come over after work?

Nesta: 🙄 fine but you better tell me about your boyfriend. 

I worry my lip with my teeth. There is no way I am telling her about Azriel but as long as I can get my foot in the door, I can sweet talk my way into what I want. 

I change out of my skirt and throw on a pair of cut off shorts. I am still feeling overheated and decided to ride my bike over to Nesta’s place just so I can feel the wind in my hair. Her studio apartment is located in a less desirable area of Hewn Hills, which doesn’t mean much since the whole town is beautiful. What makes the area rough is the slightly overgrown lawns and the occasional abandoned vehicle. I knock on the door and wait for Nesta to answer. I hear the sound of empty cans and bottles being kicked around before the door cracks open. The light from outside reveals a sliver of one of Nesta’s cold gray eyes looking at me. She slides the chain off the rail and opens the door wider. 

Her apartment is littered with empty alcohol containers. It smells of spilled beer and stale sweat. I take a steadying breath, trying to remind myself that she doesn’t want my help, no matter how many times I offer or down right beg. That doesn’t mean I don’t bring her food when I can or find excuses to bump into her. She turns away and slinks back to the ratty used couch she found near a dumpster. She plops down and covers herself in a throw blanket before she barks, “What do you want?” 

I take an uneasy step inside before I say, “I came to see if I could borrow some clothes.” She eyes me suspiciously and nods her head toward the rack of clothes near the bed. I start to comb through my options when she asks curtly, “so, the boyfriend. Who is he?” 

I close my eyes and brace myself for the interrogation before the fight, “No one you know.” I hear her stand from the couch and approach me, “where did you meet him?” I avoid looking at her, “I met him in Velaris, after my failed date with Lucien.” It was close to the truth, I did see Azriel after my date with Lucien. The best lies always hold some truth to them. 

“Does he have a name?” I exhale sharply, “Yes, but as I said you wouldn’t know him.” My hands catch on a pair of black leather pants. They are dark and sleek, they remind me of Azriel. Not my usual style but that's why I'm here, to step out of my comfort zone. To break out of the box I've been in my whole life. Maybe I'm not the kind of girl who wears leather pants but I'll never know unless I try. I pull them off the hanger and ask Nesta if I can borrow them. She raises a sharp eyebrow at me, like she can’t quite believe what I am asking. “You want to wear those?” she says incredulously. “Yup,” is all I can manage. 

She scoffs, “They're a bit sexy for you, don’t you think?”

Before I can answer, she barrels ahead, “Do you need to impress this new boyfriend? Is he not into prim flower girls?” 

I cut my eyes to her, “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t. It just seems rather sad that you have to pretend to be dating someone. When are you going to grow a spine and tell Lucien to fuck off?”

I sigh and take a calming breath before I reply, “Lucien knows I'm not interested and I assure you, he is not interested in me.”I hate the way she makes me feel, like I need to answer to her, that she is the arbiter of my life. I try to remind myself that she is in a vulnerable place right now. What she needs from me is patience. T his is what Nesta does, she lashes out before anyone can hurt her. And I always have to be the bigger person, the kinder sister, the one willing to bend so nothing else breaks.

I remind myself that deep down Nesta is sensitive, she loves fiercely and that’s why she behaves the way she does, she is frightened. She hasn’t been the same since our fathers death. Despite her claims she hated him, she was deeply hurt by his years of neglect. She hasn’t truly healed. I’ve learned the hard way that there is no helping Nesta unless she wants to help herself. 

I settle on avoiding a confrontation that will lead nowhere, “Can I please borrow the pants? I promise to return them.” 

She sighs, “Fine.” 

I mutter a thank you and head for the door.  “Good luck with your fake boyfriend Elain, don’t come crying to me when it blows up in your face.” I’m two steps outside her front door when a lonely tear falls down my cheek. I take the small bag of groceries from the basket on my bike and I place it on her doorstep. I pull away and wait for her to open the door and take the food before I go home.

Azriel

I end my call with Elain and look at the photo that’s now saved in a secret folder hidden among the apps of my phone. I lied, there was a picture of Elain on discord and she’s wearing a skimpy little outfit, so far from her typical attire I’m surprised she owns such a thing. I, of course, tracked down the user who posted it and got his IP address. The background check is in the works and I fully plan to ruin his life. I take one long look at the picture before I block her from my mind for the next few hours. 

The email Devlon sent me yesterday included a report of a bar fight where an unregistered handgun was seized. One of the suspects was reportedly wearing a leather vest with a gang emblem associated with The Attors, a broken crown with three drops of blood. Hybern’s crew has officially made their move and now I can make mine. After I left Elain’s, I spent most of the night staking out the bar from the safe house. No gang members were spotted until this morning. One of the peculiar things I’ve noticed about this bar is that it never closes. A sign the Attors’ are up to no good. Which is why I am now sitting at the bar first thing in the morning waiting to strike. The code phrase worked at getting me inside but if the weary looks of the patrons are any indication, my presence is both noted and unwelcomed. I suppose they are not used to seeing people this early in the morning who aren’t a part of the “business.” I feel more than see a figure come to stand behind me. 

“Are you new to this area, friend?” I refuse to turn and look at him, if he wants to talk he can look me in the eye. Sensing my unwillingness to bow to his display of intimidation the man steps forward and sits beside me. I note the hint of an accent and the vest he’s wearing. I fight back the smug grin threatening to reveal itself. It’s go time.  

“No, but you are.” I note the barely perceptible tick of his jaw as he glares daggers at me. Clearly not used to losing the upper hand. The nervous bartender comes forward and places a wobbling glass of whiskey next to the Attor. I use this opportunity to pull my hand out and place it on the bar. The bartender stumbles back and mutters a curse.  A wave of awareness sweeps through the bar. The faint whisperings of Shadowsinger sound like screams in the now quiet bar. The scars on the back of my hand have become something of a signature. A grim calling card that not only echoes my fathers cruelty by my own reputation. I can feel the confidence of the man next to me slip, suddenly unsure of the situation he now finds himself in. 

“You are in my town, friend .” The throat of the Attor bobs in apprehension. “Let’s get acquainted, shall we?” I let myself smile, one I reserve for men like him and unsheath the dagger at my side. 

-----------------------------------

It takes an hour to scrub the blood off of my body. I am barely dressed before Devlon calls and congratulates me on a job well done. My little show at Amarantha’s has already sent a shock wave through the criminal underground that the Shadwosinger is back in Windhaven. “Lucky for you that your father’s legacy hasn’t faded in all of these years.” I don't respond. The only legacy my father left is fear. The same legacy I’m leaving behind. Devlon takes my silence as an incentive to keep talking, too often silence only breeds more drabble. “The local police called to beg for our help already, you should be proud.” I snort. “The local sheriff told me that organized crime has been down over the last few decades, it’s a good thing you showed up when you did.” I grunt like a brute because that’s exactly how I feel after the little display of violence at the bar. 

“Why Devlon, that almost sounds like praise.” 

”Yeah well, don’t let it go to your head, your ego is already over inflated.” 

I should feel proud but instead I just stare at my hands and feel shame. This is why I need to keep my relationship with Elain superficial. She can’t get close, I can’t expose her to this side of me. I tell myself I do the things I do for work to help make the world a better place. But the truth is I enjoy it. I like taking power and exerting control over someone. I like the sound of them pleading. Whether it’s because I was once weak and fragile I don’t not know. What I do know is Elain deserves better. I close my eyes. Rhys was right to be worried. To warn me away. But, I am a selfish bastard and I can’t keep away. 

Elain

The next few days pass in a blur. The rumor mill about who I’m dating was in full swing and I noticed more than a few people keeping a close eye on the bakery. Feyre calls several times but I let them all go to voicemail. I’m grateful she’s too wrapped up in Velaris to give me the full weight of her attention. 

I join Cerridwen and Nuala for a girls night where I tell them about my new boyfriend. I don’t give them Azriel’s name but I share what I can about him. Including the sex embargo he’s imposed. They listen intently, they don’t tease me or pressure me to reveal more information than I am comfortable with. That’s one of the things I love most about them, they meet me where I am and never demand more than I am capable of giving.

“He sounds like Jason Bourne or maybe a mafia don.” I nod, “That’s what I’ve been thinking!” Cerridwen pours a generous helping of margarita before plopping down on my couch. “Have you Googled him to see if you can find anything?” offers Nuala. “Of course I Googled him but he’s off the grid. Not even a social media profile.” They give each other knowing looks, “definitely a spy then.” 

Nuala giggles, “Wait, is that why you were so flustered the other morning?” I feel my cheeks start to heat, “umm… yeah, that was after the whole no fucking talk.” 

She thinks for a minute, “Maybe penis is broken?” I choke on my drink,“No, I don’t think it’s that.” They both take a minute to think it over before Cerridwen adds, “Maybe he’s afraid of intimacy, those strong brooding types always are.” That makes more sense than the broken penis thing. 

Nuala gives me a devious smile, “You should test him!” I glance at her confused, “test him?” She nods and sits her glass down, “you know, see how committed he is to abstaining. If you are this hot and bothered there is no way he is unphased.” 

“I don’t know he seems like the type of man who is unflappable. Besides I get the feeling he won’t like being pushed. He’s been more than kind so far, I want to respect his boundaries.” 

Cerridwen rolls her eyes, “Uh huh, aren’t you supposed to be bad?” I smile at her, “baby steps.” 

Nuala claps her hands excitedly, “I know what you need!” She reaches for her phone, fingers flying as she types. Nuala looks at Cerridwen. They do that creepy twin thing where they communicate without speaking and then say in unison, “vibrator.” 

“I’m not sure that’s what I need.” They both wave their hands dismissively, “Come on Elain, you are dating a hot man who refuses to dick you down. And you're too nice to test him on it. How else are you going to survive?” I pause for a second and realize they have a point. Before I can answer Nu ominous replies, “it’s done.” 

-----------------------------------

The next day, date day, I find a manilla envelope under my door. Inside is a note from Azriel addressed to me:

Elain,Meet me at the townhouse at 6 PM. Don’t deviate from the plan. 

-Azriel

Inside is a map with detailed instructions on how to walk to the townhouse without being detected. There are handwritten notes in the margins explaining which position is better and why. There are timestamps and coordinates. I half expected the note to self-destruct after I finished reading it. One thing's for certain the man is thorough which begs an intriguing question of what it would be like to kiss him. Noooope I’m not letting myself go there. 

I put on the leather pants and stare in the mirror. I feel a little bit like Sandy in Grease when she goes through her bad girl makeover in an attempt to win over Danny Zuko. But mostly I feel like I'm on the cusp of a fundamental shift. Like I'm finally becoming who I've always wanted to be. Someone bold, adventurous and willing to be a little dangerous. I trace the curve of my hip and a thrill shoots down my spine. I'm about to jump off a cliff leaving the old Elain behind. I'm going to embrace the side of me I've hidden away. The part of me that's clawing to be let out. 

I look over at the pink package that was delivered this morning. The vibrator Nuala ordered taunts me like it knows exactly what I’m thinking. But I can’t go there, not now. 

Inhaling long and hard, I focus on the plan. I’m to meet Azriel inside the townhouse garage. He claims he will orchestrate a diversion so that we can pull out of the garage on his motorcycle undetected. Listen, this is high stakes stuff. Even Jack Ryan would be sweating if he were faced with the potential of Pauline’s discovery on one of his missions. I might as well go on Instagram Live with it because everyone from here to Velaris will know that Azriel is my secret boyfriend before I even have time to ride his motorcycle.

I snake my way through trees and hedges just as Azriel instructed, clinging to the shadows. I ignore the weeds in Josie’s flower bed that need to be pulled and the whining of Bob’s hound dog begging for pets. I slink my way around corners and alleyways as I make my way to the townhouse. I spot the side door of Feyre’s garage. It’s left cracked just as he said it would be. Here’s the tricky part. I have to sneak in undetected. There is just one neighbor with a clear shot of the door. Azriel said to wait until exactly 5:55 pm. That’s when Sam, the town’s only accountant, will leave his home office for the rest of the day. I peek up to see his window is cracked and he’s on a business call. My cell says it’s now 5:56 and I start to panic. I’ve followed his instructions perfectly at this point. Should I just run for it? Do I not care if Sam see’s me sneak into my sister’s house? Before I make a decision I hear Sam end his call and the sound of his footsteps fading. I rush for the door and slam it shut behind me. A thrill runs through me, I feel dangerous, my blood pounding and my chest heaving. I’ve never felt this way before and it’s intoxicating.

Azriel

I turn to see a panting Elain pressed against the side door, her eyes pressed closed and a small smile forming on her lips. I’m far too pleased to see that she followed my instructions. “Hi,” I say, looking her over and holy gods.“Hi yourself,” she says in a flirty tone. Her long golden hair is braided and draped gently over her delicate shoulder. She’s wearing skin tight leather pants that hug her supple curves. They look so good on her, like she’s destined for the dark side. My eyes trace up her form and snag on the sheer white t-shirt that reveals a hint of the baby pink bra underneath. The sunlight from the door window lights up her heart-shaped face. I swear the sunlight hits this woman differently than other people. The golden rays sink into her skin and make her glow. 

The urge to run my hands over those curves causes my fingers to twitch at my side. Desire punching me in the stomach. I can’t help it, I keep staring - and everything gets so much worse as Elain turns around to look out the window, making sure the coast is clear. My gaze sweeps over the dip of her waist to the swell of her perfect ass. My cock twitches.  

As hard as it is, I remind myself to focus and pull out the amethyst gift bag I’ve stashed away. “For the ride,” my voice is more husky than I anticipated.  

Her hand gently grazes mine as she takes the gift from me. A pulse of energy sends a shiver down my spine. I watch as she pulls out the black leather riding jacket I spent way too much money on. Her fingers sweep over the supple buttery material and dance over the delicate flowers embroidered down the forearms and along the collar. The pattern is a mix of bright red roses, plum colored violets, and pink begonias intricately stitched with verdant leaves. The letter E is elegantly sewn along the left lapel. It’s probably too much but it reminded me of Elain and I wanted her to have it. Even if all we get is this one ride together it's worth it. 

She tugs on the jacket an asks, “How do I look?” 

I swallow the lump forming in my throat, “Perfect.” More than perfect . Elain walks toward me, placing her warm hand on my arm as she stands on her toes and kisses my cheek. “Thank you.” The gesture takes me by surprise and nearly unravels me. All the brooding self deprecating thoughts from earlier this week melt away with that painfully sweet gesture. 

Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the point of our date and gesture Elain toward my motorcycle. We walk through the proper way to get on and off a bike. Noting to avoid the muffler pipe on the side that will get hot enough to burn. I explain that we’re going to ride to the base of Ramiel, a mountain in the Illyrian steppes. Her eyes sparkle with excitement as I pass her a helmet. I lean forward and gently tighten the strap under her chin. Unable to resist the opportunity to help her, to touch her, to do more. 

Swinging my leg over the bike, I turn to her and pat the spot behind me. Her soft thighs press into mine and a thrill runs through me knowing how intimate riding together will be. 

As we take off, I hear the explosive I put in the neighbors trash can go off, providing us with the perfect distraction to ride off and leave the world behind. 

“Hold tight and don’t make a sound.” 

-----------------------------------

I try to take in the sensations of riding but all I can think about is the feel of Elain’s soft body pressed against mine. The way her hands grip my waist. Despite all the layers of leather we still feel impossibly close. It takes awhile for my thoughts to clear long enough to feel the familiar rush of the wind as it moves past us. How the motorcycle hugs the curves of the road. I increase the speed, feeling the familiar rush of blood pounding in my ears as adrenaline takes over. I feel free. I feel alive. I hear Elain giggle in my ear. Like she can’t help the burst of joy that springs free as we fly down a steep hill. I laugh with her, unable to mask my own happiness. “Oh, I didn’t realize the helmets have mics.” Her shyness quickly fades as we round another curve. “This is amazing,” she shouts like she might burst with joy.

For the next half hour we make our way around the winding road that leads to Ramiel. I point out interesting parts of the terrain. I find myself sharing funny stories of my childhood with Rhys and Cass. It’s always easier to open up with Elain, even when I have every intention not to. When we’re not talking I relish the peaceful quiet moments. Content just to be here with her, where I don't have to share her with anyone else. 

The summer evening is fading into the golden glow of dusk. Ramiel looms ahead like a great mythical beast. “There is a small bar up ahead that we can stop and eat at. It's nothing fancy but it's one of the only places in Illyria I like.” I hope she doesn’t hear the subtext of my statement. Unlike Cassian, I loathe Illyria and my past here. But she doesn't push me.  As someone whose worst days constantly define her present, I think Elain sympathizes with my reluctance to share my darker memories. I try not to think about those now. Not while I'm with her. I don't want to tarnish this precious time I have with Elain for anything.

We pull up to a small building, aged and weather worn, there is a rustic sort of charm to it which is why I felt safe bringing her here. It’s not the type of spot tourists would visit but a hidden gem that only a local would love. The parking lot is gravel with a few motorcycles parked out front. The sign was faded but legible enough, ‘Siphon Station.’ We park the bike and get off. Turning to Elain. I gently unbuckle her helmet and offer her a scarred hand to help her down. I watch as she nervously messes with her braid, making sure it is suitable. 

I gently place a hand on her lower back and walk us through the front door. The place is smaller than I remember, there’s the familiar bar with eight stools, a few booths on the far side and a pool table in the back. Adjacent from the pool table is a dart board on the wall. Some of my favorite memories of Illyria are from this bar, getting drunk with my brothers and emptying their pockets when I beat them at every game we played. 

There are just a couple of other customers scattered around and a barman. They all stop and stare at us as we walk in and they quickly avert their eyes. I see Devon is right, my presence has already spread like wildfire . I lead us to a booth where Elain sits while I grab us something to drink. The barman pours us two whiskey shots while avoiding looking at me. Before I can pull out my wallet he mutters it’s on the house. I walk back to Elain, who is carefully taking in our surroundings. I hand her one of the glasses and sit across from her.

“Is this bar you called me from the other day?”

“No, that was a place in Windhaven.” 

She nods, “What kind of work required you to be at a bar so early in the morning?” There she is. No one else dares to ask me such direct questions, especially not about my work. I like that she isn’t afraid of me, that she feels safe asking but I can’t share that part of myself with her. So, I down my drink and stare into her eyes, “the kind I can't talk about.” 

I can see the urge to push me on it, to fight the rules I laid out. There is a quiet rebellion in Elain, one that tells me she doesn't like to do what she's told. Neither do I. That fact that we share that same defiant spark turns me on. I rub my hand through my hair, in an attempt to clear my head of my treacherous thoughts. 

“Have you checked out the town discord yet?”

She shrugs, “I'm afraid to look, why?”

“There's a poll on who your secret boyfriend is.”

“Oh gods,” she groans and puts her head on the table. “I'm half afraid to ask but, who are the contenders?”

I pull out my phone and show her. The options are Lucien, Graysen, Mr. Naked and lastly Elain is lying. Currently the last option is winning with Lucien not far behind. 

“Well, it looks like our secret is safe,” she says. Elain doesn't seem surprised by the results. She sighs heavily, “Nesta said I was making up a boyfriend too. I don't know which is worse, that they think my love life is their business or that they don't seem to know me at all.”

The barman places two plates on the table with sandwiches and pub chips. We eat quietly for a few moments before I ask, “Can I ask you something?” she nods. “Why don’t you tell them how you feel?” She looks at me confused, ”Who?” I give her a knowing look, “your sisters, the town, Lucien, you know… all of them.”

She mulls it over for a minute, “I don't want to hurt their feelings.” I shake my head, “You just walk around all day worrying about other people's feelings?” 

She gives me a bewildered look, “Yeah, don't you?’ 

“No.” Then more teasingly I ask, “Elain, how do you get anything done?” 

She gives me a small teasing smile, “It's really hard.”

I laugh. A deep belly shaking laugh. She is so funny when she’s not hiding herself away. 

“What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about what everyone else thought or expected?”

She takes a deep breath, like no one has ever asked her the question before and it makes me angry and sad for her. “Well, I’ve always wanted to travel. Anywhere really but if I had to choose where to start, I would want to see the tulip fields in the Netherlands first.” I listen, completely mesmerized by the quiet passion in her voice as she explains the cultivation process and the wide variety of bulbs used. She raves about how special the flowers are because they bloom for such a short period of time. 

Desperate for me I demand, “What else?” 

She looks at the rose on my hand and nods to it, “I’ve always wanted a tattoo.” I lean forward, feeling more than a little pleased.

“Why haven’t you?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. It would be too shocking. It would be out of character.” 

My eyes meet hers, “It seems to me, Elain, that you are waiting for someone to give you permission to be yourself.” 

She lets out a ragged breath, “That’s not true.” 

I click my tongue and run the pad of my thumb across her lips, “Did you know, you press your lips together right before you lie?” She closes her eyes, as if savoring the touch. She's so beautifully responsive. It makes me want to lay her out on the pool table and see how many little gasps and moans I can draw out of her. 

She says softly, a barely perceptible whisper, “I don’t know how to be anything else.” 

I release her face, “that’s not true, the hiding is the act, who you are is already there.”

She looks at my hand again, I see her fingers twitch as though she’s tempted to trace the ink there. She says shyly, “I’ve always admired the tattoo on your hand.” I look at my mottled hand and a wave of affection sweeps through me at the memory. 

“I actually designed this, I got it for my mother.” My heart squeezes a little. I wanted a reminder of the beauty in the world, a reminder of all the happy moments with her and I could think of no better place than my mutilated hand. My mother has always been the only person I could feel safe with, the only one who truly loves me no matter what. Before I realize it I start to speak.

“When I was a child, I rarely got to see her. I told you of how she taught me about flowers and told stories. Her favorite flower is a rose and she had these massive hedges of them in her backyard. Roses of every shade and variety. They were so beautiful. I would play there pretending in those hedges like they were part of my enchanted gardens. When it was time for my father to come and get me I would hide in those hedges. I knew he couldn’t reach in and grab me without cutting himself on the thorns. He didn’t know all the secret ways to slip in without getting scratched. I was safe there, tucked away in my mothers roses. Since then roses have reminded me of my mother, of the beauty she cultivated and the safety they provided.”

I notice her watching me closely and I know what she’s thinking. “Come on - don’t give me that look, please.” 

“Am I giving you a look?”

“Yes, a heavy one.” I bite the side of my cheek, “I’m fine now, it’s in the past.” Her eyes soften as she looks at me with concern.

Her soft finger grazes over my jaw, “If I press my lips together when I lie, then you bite the inside of your cheek when you do.” I turn away from her touch, stunned by how well she can see the truth behind the carefully constructed facade I hide behind. 

I turn my attention back to the topic at hand, “Let’s figure out what tattoo you should get.”

She gives me another look, like she might push me but to my relief she decides to drop it instead.

“Hmmm…  I don't know, maybe a slice of pie or a piece of cake here.” She points to the delicate skin on her wrist. “Or even here.” She turns and runs a hand along her ribs and underneath her breast. I let myself imagine it for a second and I run my tongue along the front of my teeth. “You should definitely get that it would be very sexy.”

“You think I would be sexy with a tattoo?”

I snort out a quick laugh. She must be joking. “No Elain. Don’t get it twisted. I already think you’re sexy without a tattoo. So I know you would be with one.”

She shifts uncomfortably, a look of anger and maybe even disappointment on her face. Something I said struck a nerve but before I can ask she quickly adjusts her expression. She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s the smile I’ve seen her give Lucien a thousand times. Never once has it been directed at me. My hands clench and I want to demand for her to tell me what’s going on in that head of hers but she didn’t push me on my childhood and the least I can do is let this go. For now.

“Anything else?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was a fan of Sons of Anarchy. I’ve always wanted to ride a motorcycle. So, thank you.” I give her a mischievous smile, “You want to drive it?” She stares at me unsure if I’m sincere, but she nods emphatically. I stand up and reach out my hand, “then you'll have to earn it.”

I hold onto her hand and take her over to the dart board. “You'll have to beat me if you want to ride.” The tension from a moment ago is gone and is replaced with something else. 

She crosses her arms over her perky chest drawing my eyes to the lace peeking through the thin fabric. “and what do you get if I lose?” 

I grab a handful of darts and walk toward her, “if you lose, you'll have to get that tattoo.”

“But I've never played before.” Her doe eyes batting at me innocently. If she thinks I’m going to go easy on her because she’s beautiful shes got another thing coming. I have a reputation to uphold. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself though. I look her over and a plan is starting to form. If she wants me to teach her a lesson, I’ll be more than happy to. In fact, I'm going to see if my theory is correct, that she's been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking of her. 

I tug her in front of the dart board and sweep my hand down her arm, appreciating the trail of goosebumps I leave behind. I place a dart between her unmarred fingers and bring her hand in front of us. She smells divine like jasmine and honey and I fight the urge to press my face into her neck. 

“The trick to darts is in the wrist. Keep your elbow up at a ninety degree angle and use your wrist to propel it forward.” I let my hand skate back down to her elbow and grip her there adjusting her position. 

Pressing my lips to her ear I whisper,“There you go honey, show me what you've got.” 

I smile as I feel her shiver in my grasp. She’s clearly still worked up from earlier this week. I decide to be nice and step away from her so she can focus on taking her shot. 

Elain sends the dart  forward and it hits the far left side, narrowly missing the board. 

She turns to me disappointed. Swaggering up for my turn I give her a pat on the back for effort and then easily send a dart into the red circle in the center. 

“Now let’s try this again. Remember to flick your wrist like this,” I say as I take her hand into mine and move it back and forth. She bites her lip as she leans back into me. “And I keep my arm up like this, right?” My hand tightens on hers. I’m momentarily lost to the feel of her ass pressing into my cock and I imagine Cassian in the sauna to try and keep an erection from forming. Thankfully that does the trick. “Azriel?” Elain asks completely oblivious to where my mind has gone.

“Yes, just like that,” I manage to say. 

She steps out of my grasp and I watch as her shoulders relax and she loses the dart and it lands directly in the middle, a perfect bullseye. Almost too perfect. She turns to me with a satisfied smirk on her face. I narrow my eyes at her, “Elain.” 

Her smile drops ever so slightly, “beginner's luck?” she says innocently. 

“ Elain .” 

She steps toward me, “maybe, you're just that good of a teacher.” 

Her eyes meet mine, a twinkle of wicked delight is dancing there.

“ Elain .” I nearly moan. 

“What's the matter? Afraid you'll lose?” 

I know she’s bating me. I know she’s using my competitiveness against me. I’ve been played and I’m too turned on by her devious smile to be mad. I want to taste that smile. I want to pin her against the wall and see what other little games she’s like to play. But I also want to win.

I scoff, pressing forward, nearly nose to nose with her. I lean down to press my words into the hollow of her neck, “if you learn one thing about me honey, it’s that I never lose.” 

I reach down and pull the dart from her hand. I stalk toward the board, determined to get what I want. I always get what I want, one way or another. 

-----------------------------------

When we get back to the motorcycle, Elain has a faint pout on her lips. I would have never suspected her to be a sore loser, though she's too polite to admit it. Those brown eyes meet mine and I feel a little bit guilty. Normally I wouldn’t feel bad for winning so decisively but this is Elain. I never planned on denying her a chance to drive my bike. As if I could deny her anything. We get back on the motorcycle and I explain how there is an old dirt road at the base of Ramiel where she can safely practice driving. She whispers faintly through the mic, “Thank you, Azriel” and I smile to myself.

All around us are beautiful views. We’re elevated enough to see the rolling hills below but far enough down to see the peak of Ramiel standing proudly ahead. I bring us to a stop and help Elain off the bike. Then I slide backwards and pat the space in front of me. Placing my hands on her full hips, I gently guide her down until she is seated in front of me. I’m aware of her every move as I feel her lean back into my lap. My hands graze down the sides of her arms, placing her hands on the handle bars. I describe how to use the throttle and break, all the while I let my fingers hug hers as we practice gripping. 

“You think you got it?” She nods, I slide my hand down to her plump thigh and give her an encouraging pat, “‘whenever you’re ready.” 

Elain gently eases the throttle forward and we start moving, tentatively at first but with encouragement she becomes more confident in her ability. Her giggles of excitement fill my ears as she drives us down the road. I let my hands snake up to the middle of her waist, my hands nearly covering the entirety of her. The thought of it thrills me. I can’t resist the urge to pull her further into me. “There you go honey, you’re doing so well.” 

We near a curve and I bring my arm fully around her waist, pulling her tight, “lean into the curve with me,” enjoying the feeling of her ass pressing deeper into my lap. The route is quiet with nothing but views and the fading sun to keep us company. I focus on the road as best as I can. But I feel Elain everywhere. The sensation of her in front of me and the smell of her hair somehow getting through the face shield of my helmet. She presses her back into me and my grip on her tightens. Without realizing it, I find myself tracing circles on her lower belly. I need a space if I am going to maintain any sort of composure.

I direct Elain to pullover at a clearing up ahead. She awkwardly tries to break, failing to slow in a steady manner. I lean into her taking the handlebars to help. The change in the angle pushes her down beneath me and I swear I hear a faint whimper through the mic. She quickly takes off her helmet like she wants to avoid being heard. The last bit of the sun is falling behind the horizon. Dark blues and pinks paint the sky as the end of day nears. “Thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful.” Her expression is so open and trusting.

I changed my mind, the last thing I want is space. I wrap my arms around her and she leans back into my frame. “It’s one of my favorite spots in Illyria.” My head suddenly racing with how wrong it is to hold her like this, to want her when I shouldn’t. How she wouldn’t want my touch if she knew what my hands had done. Suddenly the image of the blood that coated them earlier this week flashes before me and I flinch.

She tilts her head back to look at me. My breath catches, my head suddenly quiet. I tenderly rub my knuckle across the apple of her cheek. For a moment, I think about kissing her but I remember the flare of hurt from earlier and can’t resist asking. “Elain, earlier when we talked you seemed to get upset with me. I'm sorry, if what I said bothered you.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for, Azriel.”

“I do though - I called you sexy and you seemed upset. I think I crossed a line and I want to apologize.”

“No, oh gods,” she buries her face in her hands, “I’m so embarrassed. Let’s just forget about it.”

“I’m sorry but I can't do that. What happened Elain? Are you upset I think you’re sexy? Are you afraid it’s going to change things between us?”

“No. I’m just upset because you’re teasing me!”

“Teasing you?”

“Yes, teasing me! I was finally opening up about the things that I want and you were mocking me. I felt silly because you are you and well I’m angel Elain. I forgot who I was supposed to be and you reminded me I’m nothing like the girl who gets tattoos, wears leather pants and seduces men in bars. It was just too much, it felt like a lie.” I press my hand against her lips to silence her.

“None of that was a lie Elain. I swear to you I’m not mocking you. I certainly don’t think you’re silly. And the part where I called you sexy is true you are unbelievably sexy. You weren’t even trying and you were seducing me.” And that’s when I notice the tears welling up in those honey colored eyes. I shift my hand from her mouth to her cheek and rub the tear rolling down her face. “Elain why does that make you cry?”

She turns her gaze from mine and shakes her head desperately like she’s hoping to shake her feelings away. “Because no one has ever said that to me before.” Those eyes open again and a burst of potent feelings hit me square in the chest. “They say it about Nesta and Feyre - but never me. I’m always praised for being sweet and kind and obedient. I’m the girl next door, the innocent one. I’m never viewed like that. Just the other day when I was at the bakery Lucien,” she trails off. 

“What did Lucien say?” I ask, feeling every muscle in my body go rigid. 

“Pauline was demanding he do something about my outfit and he said I wasn't sexy.”

“I’ll murder him.”

“Azriel,” she reprimands me with a surprised laugh. 

“I’m serious Elain. That guy doesn’t deserve to go on living for making you feel so shitty.” She laughs and I shift my hand around the back of her neck pulling her to face me completely. Not willing to let her go. “And he’s wrong about you. First, he was wrong about you being boring. You say you aren’t the type of girl that seduces men in bars but you had me eating out of the palm of your hand. Even when you think you’re doing something wrong you’re so godsdamn tempting that I wanted to lay you out and do things to you in the middle of the bar so filthy that they would have arrested us for public indecency. Second, how can you be boring when you light up every room you walk in with that perfect smile. My gods, you are drop dead gorgeous. So beautiful it’s hard to look at you and continue persuading myself that kissing you would be a mistake because of our agreement. And third, that ass.”

She gasps, “What about it?”

“Your ass is a masterpiece. Soft and curvy, it kills me. Your ass kills me Elain. And I need you to know if we weren’t just dating in the short term I would have already…” I let the sentence dangle as my eyes rake over her, implying everything I’ve dreamed of doing with Elain but not saying it out loud because I’ve already said too much as it is. In fact I think this is the longest I have talked in ages. What scares me the most is how much I enjoy talking to her. How I enjoy teasing her and coaxing out her reactions. I’m so good at playing games at seducing women. At strategically moving pieces around so that I can be seductive without having to actually give anyone a piece of myself. Without risking my feelings. But just now I was more honest than I’ve ever been in my life. 

I’m not playing games with Elain - I’m practically spilling my heart out to her. When our gazes lock again, her tears are gone. Instead her cheeks are rosy and she’s pressing a smile into the back of her hand. I gently angle her face closer to mine, “do you believe me?” She nods silently. And then her gaze drops to my lips. “You were wrong about something.”

“What’s that?”

“It wouldn’t be a mistake to kiss me.”

My heart pounds inside my chest. “It wouldn’t.”

“No. In fact, I think we should kiss because I could use the practice.”

“Elain, I told you we have to keep things PG.”

She smiles at me, “Kissing is PG according to the British Board of Film Classification.”

I fight back a smile. “Besides,” she adds, “I want to change the terms of our agreement.” She shifts until she is sitting facing me on the bike. “The whole thing started with me wanting to prove I’m not boring like Lucien said. That I can be bad… but the more time I spend with you, the more I feel myself coming to life. Something I can’t quite pinpoint but I don’t want to lose either. You make me feel different. I feel free when I’m with you. I feel adventurous and… curious.” A naughty twinkle sparks in her eyes and I feel my stomach clinch. I don’t respond, I have to know where this is going.

“So, I was wondering if you’d be someone to help me practice taking risks with, doing new things, and… maybe finding out who I am now?”

“Is that really what you want Elain?” I ask, dragging my thumb across her lower lip. 

“If it’s not too much to ask,” she says in a quiet whisper. 

“And tonight, you want to try kissing?”

Her chest rises with a heavy breath, “I haven’t kissed anyone in a couple of years. I need to shake off the cobwebs. See if I’m any good at it.”

That stuns me. 

I wrap my arms around her tugging her closer. I ask, “No one has kissed you in years Elain? How is that possible?” I’ve wanted to kiss her every second since I’ve met her. 

I feel her tremble against me. “Maybe there is something wrong with me. No one ever tries. I think my reputation makes men think I don’t like this stuff.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” I push back the hair that’s fallen loose from her braid and do what I’ve been fantasizing about since the day we met and sink my hands into her thick golden hair. I tug her head back and angle her face just the way I want it. I bend down to the corner of her mouth and whisper, “Nothing’s wrong with you honey.” 

“I might be bad at this,” she warns, eyes wide, watching me as I tease the edges of her lips. 

“I’m prepared.” And then just as I am about to close the gap, an idea hits me and I pull away. She looks disappointed, she thinks I’ve changed my mind.

“We still can’t fuck Elain, not unless you’re ready to fall in love with me.” She looks relieved that I still plan to kiss her. Those doe eyes are heavy lidded as if she’s intoxicated, “Good idea,” she adds and I smile. It’s not clear if she agrees with me that we can’t sleep together or if she thinks it's a good idea that we should. Either way,  I like the ambiguity of it. It will drive me crazy later wondering what she meant. The tension between us is cracking and I can tell she wants me to rush this and kiss her already, but the truth is, I love drawing it out. I love taking my time torturing us both. Truth be told there is no one I love torturing more than myself. 

Wrong - so wrong. It has never gone this far before.  But I don’t care. I need to know what the skin of her neck tastes like. What those perfect lips taste like. 

I sink my face down to her throat and lay one soft kiss there at the base. Her breath catches and I move to kiss under her jaw, opening my mouth to feel the warm press of her skin along my tongue. She shivers and I smile, moving up to kiss the corner of her mouth. The moment her warm, plush lips press into mine, my world spins. Any finesse or control I feel is destroyed, and I am suddenly at her mercy. 

She presses her body into mine and even though we aren’t doing more than pushing our lips together it already feels impossibly good. I force myself to keep it light even though I want nothing more than to have her bare and writhing beneath me. 

I only intended for it to be a quick luxurious kiss to get her blood warm. But damn . Her lips respond to mine as she rises to wrap her hands around my neck and my body thrums. My fingers curl into her hair and along the skin of her back. She’s so damn supple and as I slant my lips against hers I can’t help the slide of tongue into her mouth. 

Elain sighs the sweetest moan into my mouth as she parts her lips for me. Inviting me in to take more of her. She presses up and wraps her legs around my waist and our kiss quickly turns from chaste to devouring. I’m pulling her against me, my head swirling like I’ve had multiple rounds of whiskey. I savor every gasp and flick of her delicious tongue, every intentional press of her body into mine. And as I adjust myself back allowing her to climb even further into my lap the bike rocks unsteadily underneath us. What the hell am I doing? 

I want so much more than a kiss from her, and that’s why I pull away and slowly unwrap her arms from around me. “We should stop.” I say with a shaky voice. She doesn’t protest, seemingly agreeing with my thoughts. 

I rub the back of my neck. Get a grip Az it was just a kiss. 

“Was that okay?” Elain asks, self-consciously, and the very question is so absurd I nearly laugh. How she can doubt how sexy she is, how she unravels every ounce of my control. With my hand still on my neck I look at her knowing she can see how utterly wrecked I am by her. “Yes, honey, that kiss was more than okay.”

Elain turns away just a fraction and smiles to herself, and then does something so innocent, so honest it tears my cynical, terrified heart in half. She rests the tips of her fingers to her lips and smiles. 

As we pull into the garage later that night I have to ask, “Out of curiosity, what is your favorite flower?”

She drops her gaze to the flower on my hand and smiles. “Roses.”

[hazelkjt]

♢: In what situation would your muse feel most out of their comfort zone?

Whenever Lady Amelune is attending a formal event and her usual partners are unavailable to accompany her, Hazel, being her protégé, is brought along instead. It doesn't happen too often, but still enough times for Hazel to understand her own discomfort in these scenarios.

Hazel finds the entire experience extremely uncomfortable for multiple reasons that never get any better no matter how many times it happens. The dress Lia has for her, while she admits is gorgeous, is too restrictive for Hazel's liking. And while she knows how to walk in heels Hazel certainly wouldn't ever do it otherwise. Not to mention she has little to no experience with her own makeup and requires a house servant to apply it all for her.

The biggest thing that draws Hazel out of these events is her own mentality during them: she fully feels she doesn't belong there. The people of Ishgard might as well have come from a different star given how out of touch Hazel feels with them even after attempting to learn the proper customs and etiquette. Everyone else present is so pristine and elegant, how they act and speak and move. Meanwhile, she's just some "wild thing" (as she was so nicely called once at such an event) to whom all this formality is suffocating. She has no semblance of control or understanding of this kind of environment which makes her anxiety spike like nothing else, because any wrong move made on her part would reflect poorly on Lady Amelune.

---------- Symbol Headcanon Asks

[frazzledsoul]

Jess Mariano not only was depicted as a sexual being fairly early in his run on Gilmore Girls, but he was also the first character in the teenage group of characters to be shown actually having sex. The first two rounds of Dean and Rory are fairly sexless (neither of them seem terribly interested). Ditto for Lane and Dave. Paris only has sex at the end of her senior year of high school (after dating her boyfriend nearly a year) and is denounced as the "bad kid" for it.

Meanwhile Jess is enthusiastically sticking his tongue down Shane's throat on street corners, the diner, town events, being literally caught with his pants down by Luke and Lorelai, Shane can't even remember to retrieve her underwear from his car....and he freely admits he's not in love with her and doesn't even like her much. This character is asexual?!? Really? This is the guy who won't engage in sex outside of the context of a relationship with Rory despite him.... enthusiastically being willing to do exactly that? Not only was he the sluttiest character in the high school era, outside of Logan's circle he's been shown to be the most interested in sex outside of the context of love and romance.

Plus, he and Rory were pretty hot and heavy when they were together. I'm not sure where people get the impression he hated any sort of sexual activity with her. Seems to me they were both fairly enthusiastic about the concept. If Jess truly hates sex and isn't attracted to her at all, I don't see much of a future for the ship.

And let's fast forward to the AYITL era, where Jess tells Rory that his personal life is "steady, nothing permanent." I don't think he was referring to his bowling buddies. It seems that he's sleeping around but isn't committed to anyone. That doesn't sound like the behavior of someone who hates sex and will only engage in it when there's an emotional connection, or someone who won't consider anything beyond the scope of a reconciliation with Rory.

And you know what? Good for him. He's a good looking, successful, single adult male living in a major metropolitan area and I don't think he has to work very hard to get laid. He's entitled to a sexual and romantic life as an adult if he desires it, and everything we know about him indicates that he would very much desire it. His life does not revolve around the person he dated for five months as a teenager, and he shouldn't be expected to not seek his own enjoyment outside of the context of that relationship. The idea that his only sexual fulfillment as an adult has to be supplied by Rory alone when she's not held to those restrictions is denying the kind of person he was shown to be and is terribly unrealistic. He should be allowed to have a romantic and sexual life beyond her.

He's entitled to seek his own pleasure as a grown-up and believing that he wouldn't be interested in it is just not a remotely honest assessment of the character, either as a teenager or an adult.

Oh, and as a final note believing that Jess hated sex and didn't want to engage in it seems to me to be saying that you don't believe Milo can credibly portray someone who is a sexual being which is....kind of ridiculous, given his other signature role involved him wanting to pork his super hot wife at pretty much every opportunity and most people found that extremely convincing. So I think that's why I'm speaking out on this. It seems to be low key insulting Milo as well as mischaracterizing Jess, and I am not here for it.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Confession, rejection, acceptance, repeat | {KokuZan}

Theme: Angst, angst, and more angst 🤩✨

"Yes? What would you like?" Muzan asked, turning to his highest ranked demon.

"Uh.. Master, I would like to, uh, ask you...out?" Kokushibo said nervously. For over thirty years his crush on his king had only grown. And only just a couple months before, the other uppermoons had found out. They'd pushed him to confess ever since he told them and he'd finally decided he would today. Which was what he was currently doing.

Muzan cocked his head to the side, confused. Ask him out? To leave the room or...? 

But reading his uppermoon's mind proved he'd gotten it completely wrong.

Forcing away the heat that was rising up to his face, Muzan quickly got ahold of himself. "Kokushibo," he said.

The said demon looked up and met the red-pink eyes of his crush with the six of his own. "Hm?"

"No."

The word bounced around the room several times before it sank into Kokushibo's mind and he realized what his master meant. "...No?" he whispered, more to himself than to the other.

Muzan nodded and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway, though, and said, "Oh, and, tell the other uppermoons that if they so much as think about any of these stupid relationship things, they can forget they ever existed. That goes to you, too, Kokushibo. I'm surprised you even considered it. And for thirty years?" He shook his head, disappointed, and left, leaving Kokushibo to process what had just happened.

___________________ "I knew it. I told you he wouldn't accept it.." Kokushibo repeated for the 10th time, looking off into the distance.

Daki sighed and continued rubbing Kokushibo's back. Usually it was the elder of the two acting as the comforter, but this time Daki had to play the part to her father figure. "I'm sure he's just in shock."

"No.. no, he was clear about it. If he thought we might be together at any point he wouldn't have put such restrictions.. He's right, though. I can't let myself think such things, I mustn't ponder this any longer." Kokushibo's mind was set. Kind of. Well, not really. A little. ...Not at all, if he was honest, but he had to obey his Master's orders. He got up and gave Daki the fakest smile ever. "I'll be fine, no need to worry. I apologize for this inconvenience. I'll see you later." (BRO HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT- Edit: Nvm i fixed it 😁)

He left without another word.

Daki sighed again and looked down. If she hadn't pushed him to confess this wouldn't have happened. How had she messed everything up.. 

Douma walked in and sat next to Daki. "Don't worry, they both just need time to think about it!" He clapped cheerfully. "I'm sure in no time they'll be together."

From behind the two uppermoons, Akaza groaned in annoyance. "Master literally said we can't even as much as think about those kinds of things, stop acting like it's going to happen. Because as much as we want it, the Master's word is his word and we can't disobey."

The blond nodded, still acting as optimistic as ever. Akaza sighed. Daki rolled her eyes at the two and got up. "I've got to go now, you two stop fighting." And at that, she left.

___________________

For another week, Kokushibo grew restless. He couldn't believe he had actually gone out there and asked Muzan that. Or that he had been rejected. The humiliation and disappointment weighed down on him. The other Uppermoons tried desperatly to cheer him up, but as much as he appreciated their attempts, it did nothing to lift his spirits. He was just to sadened about this to be happy.

Meanwhile, Muzan couldn't get his mind off of this. He was surprised, shocked, flustered (although he would never admit it), and apprehensive. He didn't know how to feel about this but he did know (or at least he thought he did) that he shouldn't accept this confession. It would get in the way of everything. Of course, he felt that that might be wrong but... who would listen to their heart anyways. That was weak and for humans. Which was how they were always so vulnerable and fearful. Getting attatched caused problems.

Then again.

If he didnt accept, who knows how long he'll be thinking about this on and on. He couldn't stop, and if he didn't at least consider accepting then who knows how long he might think about it. But of course that was the whole point. Distracting him from important matters.

He sighed, annoyed. Why were emotions so annoying and complicated?!

Muzan rolled his eyes at himself. Whatever, this wasn't worth his time.

But then an hour later he caught himself thinking about it, yet again. What was wrong with him? Had these emotions gotten ahold of his head...?

___________________

Kokushibo sat in his study, reading. 

Kiyoko took his hands and smiled up at him. "What I would give to live with you forever." She smiled softly and faded away, leaving Hiroshi crying deeply as his lover disappeared in his arms.

The Uppermoon paused, wondering why he was reading this. He'd gotten so into the book that he hadn't even realized he was reading a romance novel. Was this because he wanted to replicate this with Muzan? ....Wait.

Why couldn't he just stop thinking about this? Every day it was Muzan this, Muzan that. Wishing he was in his arms now, knowing that he'd never be then. What was with him? He had to stop this. Push down all these disrupting feelings. No. More. Emotions. 

Sometimes he wished he could be like Douma. Never feeling real emotions, only faking. It would make things all the more easier. He got up and tucked the book back into the bookshelf. That was enough thinking. He had to accept his fate. Enough of this wanting, he was done with wisihgn he had something he would never get. Leaving the room, he vowed he wouldn't have anything to do with love again. Never ever.

_________________

Muzan was having completely different thoughts. He felt as if he shouldn't have been so harsh on his uppermoon. Besides, he had always favored his top ranked Uppermoon best. Which was one of the reason Kokushibo was Upper 1. And besides, there was something there. He hated to admit it, but he had definitely flushed JUST A LITTLE (totally-) when the confession had risen. So maybe he should accept this? Maybe.. 

He looked around. Where was Kokushibo? He would accept the confession now. Two weeks of thinking was enough, who cares about the restrictions he'd set. They didn't matter anymore. He was going to get Kokushibo and accept the stupid (or not) confession. He couldn't take it anymore, too much thinking and theorizing and restless nights of worry. He was going to give his own confession to his favorite Uppermoon.

_________________

Kokushibo had been called to see Muzan for a reason he did not know. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

 Muzan looked up. When he realized it was Kokushibo, he took a deep breath to get himself ready before he said, "Come in." He motioned for the other to sit across from him as the demon strode in. "I know you're wondering why I have summoned you here, and, well, the matter is quite simple. It's a matter adressing what happened a couple weeks ago. Your... 'confession.'" 

The room grew painfully quiet as the demon king waited for an answer. Then, "Yes?" Kokushibo wondered if it was to reprimand (me writing that but only vaguely knowing what it means) him for thinking about it. But whatever it was, at least he had decided to let it go and stop paying so much attention to it, right?"

Muzan took a deep breath, deciding to let Kokushibo have his privacy and not read his mind. If they were going to do this, he needed everything to work out as he wanted. "Well. I'm going to.. accept it. Or rather, I'll confess something as well. I.. I'm asking you out."

Kokushibo was beyond shocked. "Wait what?"

"I'm asking you out," Muzan repeated, getting impaitent.

"No.. I heard what you said but.. I'm just.. surprised."

"Yes, I suppose you would be. But anyways, now you can accept this an-" the shorter of the two was cut off by Kokushibo.

"No. I am going to reject this. I apologize, Master, but I have no interest in this sort of love nonsense." And with that, he got up and left, leaving the demon king, the one who got everything he wanted and everything had to be his way, alone.

"....." Muzan was shocked. How could he have just been rejected? Him? The demon lord? Been rejected by his own subject? ....this couldn't be happening. How. Why?! He got up to storm after Kokushibo but then paused. This.. humiliation, this embarrassment and disappointment.. It was how Kokushibo must've felt when he'd rejected him, right?

He sat back down and slumped in his chair. He supposed he deserved this, then. But.. how would he go about this? Kokushibo had gone with acceptance.. Suppose he did the same? It wouldn't be easy but.. that's just life for you. Was this how it was for the humans as well? Perhaps emotions had more to them than fragility....

Word count: 1523

{Look I didn't know where to end it ok- But anyways this was too short 😞

Anyways, ignore the amount of spelling mistakes in this, I was too lazy to look up the proper spelling.}

Edit: AGAIN I WROTE THIS A WHILE AGO AND ON WATTPAD SO IT'S KINDA GOOFY BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT 😭