#meanwhile on ‘posts i never expected to pop off like they did—’

[fawnme1]

THE SOFTEST THING — WILLNE

CHAPTER NINE

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──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!

It happened on a Thursday.

No promo. No pre-save link. No dramatic Instagram teaser. Just one tweet.

@youruser: surpirse. “half of me” is out now.

No one had known. Not even your manager, until the day before. You’d written and produced the whole thing quietly over the last few months, late nights in the studio alone, with your notes app full of lyrics you weren’t sure you’d ever share. It wasn’t a “radio single” or anything catchy for TikTok trends — it was raw, slow, haunting in parts, and vulnerable in a way that felt just for you.

And maybe, deep down, just a little bit about him.

The response online was immediate. Fans freaked out, calling it your best work yet. Threads popped up within an hour dissecting the lyrics:

“you laugh like i’m still yours / but never ask if i’m okay?”

“i was whole when i met you / now i’m split into stories”

“half of me is brave / the other half still waits”

The theories took off. Some thought it was about your five-year dry spell. Others swore it had to be about Will. The timing. The recent Sidemen video. The way you looked at him when you thought no one else was watching.

But none of that mattered as much as the texts that started rolling in from the group chat.

Joe: ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT???

“half of me” ???? HELLO?????

how did you not tell me you were releasing THIS???

Alfie: not me tearing up in tesco listening to the bridge

actual violation that you didn’t even give us a heads up

You smiled at your phone, watching the messages pour in as you lay in your bed, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands. You hadn’t responded yet. You weren’t sure what to say.

You didn’t expect it to feel this vulnerable. But it did. Even more than posting about Will. Even more than the Sidemen teasing you on camera. This was you, without the edits or the banter or the sarcasm. This was everything you’d felt in quiet moments poured into three minutes and twenty-six seconds.

Your phone buzzed again.

Will: just listened

its beautiful

are you okay?

You stared at the message a little longer than the others. Not because of what he said — but how he said it. No joke. No emoji. Just… him. Honest.

You replied a minute later.

You: yeah. i think i am now

You closed your phone and set it aside, letting yourself sit in the moment. Outside your window, the city was its usual mess of lights and motion, but inside, things felt still.

You didn’t release “half of me” to get attention. You didn’t release it to confirm any fan theories. You just wanted to let something go. And now that it was out there — floating in the world, being felt by other people — maybe that was enough.

Maybe this was what moving on felt like. Or maybe it was what opening up again looked like. Either way, it felt like a start.

By Friday morning, “half of me” was trending on Twitter. Your DMs were a mess, and your phone wouldn’t stop vibrating with reactions from friends, fans, and random celebrities reposting it to their stories with the classic “who hurt her??” captions.

Joe and Alfie, meanwhile, had declared war.

You hadn’t seen them since the drop — which was by design. You needed 24 hours of silence to process the chaos. But that peace didn’t last long. By Saturday, they were both standing outside your flat with takeaway and smug grins, already mid-conversation when you opened the door.

“She’s alive!” Joe said, dramatically bowing as he walked past you and into your living room like he owned the place. “And emotionally unwell, based on that little musical breakdown you dropped on us.”

Alfie followed behind, holding up a coffee and shoving it into your hand. “We’re staging a wellness check. And also bullying you, obviously.”

You blinked, still in your hoodie and fluffy socks. “I literally told you I was fine.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell us you were in your Taylor Swift era of lyrical destruction,” Joe replied, flopping onto your sofa. “What was that bridge? Did someone ghostwrite that? Be honest. That was pain. That was cinematic heartbreak.”

“It’s not even about anyone specifically!” you defended, though it sounded weak even to you.

Alfie narrowed his eyes. “Mmm. Is it not? Because I’ve seen you say ‘I’m fine’ while looking like you were moments away from dropping a surprise album. And then this comes out?”

Joe leaned over dramatically. “I’m just saying, if I had writeen ‘half of me is brave / the other half still waits.’ I’d be charging people for therapy via merch.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, dropping onto the chair across from them, your coffee warming your hands. “Okay, first of all, thats’s a great merch idea. Second — I didn’t want the whole build-up things. I just… needed it out.”

Alfie gave you a rare soft look, one that slipped through the sarcasm. “Well, it’s out. And people are obsessed, Y/N. Even Will posted it.”

Your eyes flicked up. “He did?”

Joe’s face split into a wide grin. “Ohhh, don’t act like you didn’t see. Man posted it to his story with the sad face emoji. Sad face, bro. That’s how you know it’s real.”

You tried to suppress your smile, and failed. “It’s not about him.”

“Sure,” Alfie said, sipping his drink. “Just like Joe’s boxing career isn’t about being dramtic. It’s okay. We get it.”

You rolled your eyes, tossing a cushion at him. “You lot are impossible.”

Joe caught the pillow mid-air. “We’re just emotionally literate, thank you. And proud. No joke, Y/N — that song’s insane. Like, actually beautiful. Proper mature, vulnerable, all that.”

Alfie nodded, a bit more sincerely this time. “It’s the best thing you’ve ever put out. Even though we’re mad you didn’t let us hear it first.”

“Yeah,” Joe chimed in again, “you’re never living that down, by the way. Next time you go through and identity crisis, at least give us the courtesy of a sneak peek. Or a breakdown.”

You laughed harder this time, warmth blooming behind your ribs. “Noted.”

The three of you spent the rest of the afternoon like that — teasing, laughing, and slowly letting the weight of the last few days fade into something lighter. You didn’t know what the next step was. Or what would happen with Will. But you knew, without a doubt, that you had people who loved you enough to roast you right back to peace.

[somereaderinblue]

Your post of Odysseus telling Telemachus about wild animals inspired me so much that I had to draw him with little Telemachus.

After I drew them, I thought that every time he kisses Telemachus' head, it's like sending his love to his beloved Penelope. Meanwhile Penelope with a piece of cloth from the chlamys of her precious Odysseus, one of the few things she was able to bring with her when this war began, every night she will kiss that piece of wool and while she do it, she will think of her husband and her beautiful son, every night under the promise of seeing them again.

But well, that's how I imagine it, what do you think?.

I hope you like it!!. ^^

Like it? L I K E IT?!?! I LOVE IT!

Guys guys, I had to slap a hand over my mouth when this popped up in my inbox otherwise my parent's car insurance would've gone kaput. When I first posted this AU never in a million years did I expect to receive fanart as drop dead gorgeous as this oh my god????

I'm obsessed at how well you capture the tenderness & sorrow in their expressions! All of Ody's accessories are spot-on with my own drawings and aaaaaaah, the sharp nails Penny has? Can already imagine them clawing Paris' pretty face off.

I also love how Odysseus has a warmer tone compared to Penelope's cooler, drearier one, emphasizing just how separated they are from each other despite both being in Troy. "At least we sleep under the same stars, my love." <- I see you woke up & chose violence on all our hearts.

This has inspired 2 new HCs:

-Penelope sometimes wears some of Odysseus' himations/chlamys for strength & goes to sleep holding one of Telemachus' blankets for comfort.

-When she became Athena's student, Athena was going to offer her an owl brooch but Penny beat her to it by wearing one of Ody's, carved with his own hands. Wisdom may be helping her fight battles but it's love that ensures she lives through the war.

[reason-with-the-underdog]

workaholic kaveh (bc career>therapy)

love the hc where kaveh, fresh off the heels of the thesis breakup w alhaitham, basically just launches himself into massive overwork

bc u can't dwell if u're constantly working! 🧠

after the palace of alcazarzaray's second rebuild, that was the first free time he's had in years

bc he had to probably do a ton of extra work for graduation after their thesis failed, he mentions in his vl's that he was overworked by his seniors at his first job post-graduation, and he achieved a TON portfolio-wise in the 5-10 years since he left the akademiya

the benefit of all this overwork is:

his reputation is GREAT even tho his clients grumble about his attention to aesthetics🙄

he doesn't need to think about his personal problems! at all! absolutely no time for that!!

which includes never needing to reflect on the roots of the breakup

so in the wake of his self-inflicted bankruptcy post-palace construction... the workaholic that is kaveh finally has free time

and he has absolutely no idea what to do with it

and he's not comfortable bc he's:

bankrupt

homeless

alternating between being incredibly day drunk/hung over

finishing a massive creative project is just EXHAUSTING. like so much energy and passion and emotional investment was put into that palace, and now he's getting congratulated for the palace while also having to pretend like he's totally hanging around a tavern 24/7 bc he WANTS to be there (and not for any other reason)

and with free time to think about, well, everything

oh how the insecurities & anxieties & Bad Thoughts start to creep in🥲

but who can kaveh talk to about this? he can't let anyone know he's ruined by his greatest work yet (he can't let the palace be tarnished by his bankruptcy)

but kaveh's also incredibly strong emotionally, despite all of his troubles

he's able to redesign the 2nd floor of lambad's tavern in literally less than the 2 weeks he stayed there, and he kept up his social image of the famed architect celebrating a masterpiece of the ages

i think a lot about how kaveh seems uncomfortable in times of rest and tranquility... that bad hours and urgent deadlines and a too big workload done pro bono (for free) feels easier/more natural...

aka why he's so good at denial & Not Thinking about certain facts in his life 🙈

such as why alhaitham might have extended a helping hand and offered his home to kaveh without seeming to get much in return...

altho as part of kaveh's character arc, which includes reconciling with alhaitham post-PoP, he later starts to have an inkling...

the big question ofc is will he process /why/ alhaitham helped 😆

but in general i think keeping busy as a way to Not Think contributed a great deal to why kaveh's relationship and reactions to alhaitham's behaviors/words changes so much from when we first meet him in the Sumeru AQ to now (his bday letter anyways)

consider this:

alhaitham had 2+ years of akademiya after the thesis breakup (less if he graduated early ig, but regardless, years) without his most significant friend/influence/confidant around so he had a lot of time to process what happened and to make changes from then

meanwhile kaveh's constantly caught off guard by the differences in his expectations of how alhaitham would react (based off of akademiya-era alhaitham)

vs alhaitham's current-day behavior

like ofc its normal that people change after several years and after not being in school, but kaveh basically froze himself and his understandings of alhaitham's character in time, like a fly in amber

so he has to make much more obvious changes in his behavior to catch up on all those lost years, which we see happening in real time in canon!

alhaitham changes too (look at him distracting kaveh from his depression like a champ in kaveh's hangout! uh huh he really heard us thru his noise cancelling headphones? 🤨)

but they're more subtle shifts

anyways hyv did so good when they cooked up kaveh and alhaitham dkfdlijdk

[rainbow-universe]

5 Times You Were Ambushed At Work + 1 Time You Were Ambushed At Home

Your Bat family starts popping up at the office and your lives start overlapping.

Dick shows up, and it's not what you expected. (Meanwhile, your team takes the time to psychoanalyze profile observe you)

cross-posted on ao3

wc: 4.8k

part 3/6 (part one, part two)

Dick Grayson

“Ummm…” Penelope came bustling up to your team, chatting in the hallway, tablet in hand, a frown on her face.

“What is it?” you asked. The rest of the team turned to look at her.

“I think you should see this, sir,” she said and held the tablet up to Hotch who took it with knitted brows. “It’s the bullpen.”

“What the hell?” Derek said, as he and your other coworkers crowded around to see the screen.

“This is current?” Hotch asked.

“Yes, the live feed from the bullpen.”

“Oh my god,” JJ exclaimed, “they could fall, how are they doing that?”

“How did they get in here?” Spencer asked.

“Was anyone with them?” Rossi added.

“I don’t know,” Penelope said as she took her tablet back from Hotch. “I haven’t looked yet, I thought you should know as soon as possible.”

You stepped closer to Penelope to see the screen.

“Thank you, Garcia,” Hotch said.

Three agents were in the corner of the bullpen trying to … You recognized those flips. My circus, my monkey. You swore internally and sprinted away.

Everyone watched you run like your car was on fire. What…?

Unless you knew this acrobat flipping around the bullpen.

They glanced at each other. And rushed after you.

You slowed to a run and then a jog as you approached the harried agents trying to wrangle a, yes, a very young looking, child-sized Dick Grayson.

“I got this, don’t worry,” you said. They may not have believed you, but they were more than willing to abandon their futile attempts and quickly dispersed. You were left alone in the corner facing an upside-down Dick, doing a handstand on the banister of the platform hallway by the conference room.

“Well, hello there. You look a little young to be an FBI agent here,” you said dryly.

Dick grinned at you. “Hi!” He turned around and walked a bit up the banister, then flipped to his feet again.

“What’re you doing here, hm?” You followed him slowly on the lower level, giving him his space and trusting he’d always land … well, the way he intended, and not fall on accident. But you were there just in case, you couldn’t help but worry. Especially because you had no idea why Dick looked to currently have the body of a young child.

“Everyone else came, thought I would too.” He did a cartwheel and then flipped back onto his hands and shrugged upside-down somehow. Almost a half-push up, given that he was standing on his hands. “Wanted to see you at work.”

There was a lot to unpack there, and a lot he wasn’t saying (for example, why and how he came to have the body of something of an 8-year-old? You hated guessing ages.), but you let it go for now, if Dick didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t, so you wouldn’t press.

Derek was the first to the bullpen, and he stood near the entrance and watched you dismiss the other agents and approach the kid as his teammates joined him.

One of yours, then.

“I’m guessing not a stranger,” Rossi said.

“Another family member?” JJ joked seriously.

They watched you talk with whomever it was. Hotch, observing too, didn’t shoo them off to their desks for being too nosy yet.

“Where does someone learn to do that?” Derek hissed incredulously after they watched your kid do another flip and land to balance on their hands.

“And how does anyone let their kid do that?” Emily whispered back.

“Actually-” Spencer started.

“I’m more surprised another one of them has come to visit,” Penelope said.

Derek wasn’t sure either how you looked so calm with that kid of yours walking on their hands and doing flips on the banister. You never flinched, just shadowed them slowly, but he caught some movement from you, like you were always anticipating, always ready, just in case the kid did fall, you would be ready to catch them. But you stood there, confident that they wouldn’t. He had to wonder who this kid was to you for you to be so sure and carefree and nonchalant about the whole situation. He was certain Hotch wouldn’t be half as calm as you if it was Jack up there, or JJ with Henry.

“We probably shouldn’t be by now,” JJ added with a small laugh.

“We’ve heard so many names mentioned, but an exact definition of ‘I have a big family’ and ‘there’s a lot of us’ has never been established,” Rossi said amusedly.

“I’ve seen the desk photos, but there’s no discernible faces in any of them,” Spencer mentioned.

“Ok, well, I’m here now.” You hedged a bet that your team had probably followed you by now and was watching you. “And my coworkers don’t know you and are likely having mini heart attacks from watching you do your acrobatics,” you said, bemused.

Dick continued walking on his hands, flipping to his feet, twisting, flipping and cartwheeling back and forth.

You followed him. “I know you gotta move around, buddy, but at work, at the office here, the banister isn’t the best place for it. C’mon down, you hungry?”

He landed on his feet once more, tilted his head in thought, then proceeded to launch himself into your chest.

You prepared yourself and caught him without difficulty or getting pushed off balance, shifting him against your side, arms under his thighs.

“Food?” he asked.

“Yah, buddy,” you said amusedly

“Ok.”

“Who, uh, who else knows about … this?” you asked.

He shrugged. You figured you wouldn’t be getting an explanation today, if ever. Then his eyes caught onto something behind you, by the doors, your team, you presumed.

What you weren’t expecting, was for Dick to wiggle out of your arms like a cat that didn’t want to be held and race over to team. You spun around to follow but immediately lost him in the desks thanks to his extremely short stature. You swore silently and chased after him, hoping he was in fact heading to your teammates.

“Dick!”

Your exasperated call was met with more than a few side eyes and frowns and you realized how your exclamation of “Dick!” might have been perceived out of context.

The little rascal (affectionate) was already blabbering to your team when you got there.

Penelope loved you. She truly did. But she was a gossiper and information collector at heart, and you were such a difficult person to get information out of!! You usually answered all her fishing questions, but you managed to do so in a way that gave her very little information, crumbs!

She knew that, being from Gotham, you held important information close to you. You’d mentioned offhandedly before that corrupt officers would use personal information, from chatting, from photographs on desks, to extort people. Hence the artistic pictures of a heart made from the shadows of different hands, a gargoyle apparently from Gotham, people standing against the backdrop of a sunset, indiscernible from the contrast of light, and the back of a couch, only heads leaning together visible, their hair red and black intertwining, that decorated your desk among others. No recognizable features, no distinguishable faces.

So, when your family/friends/important people/loved ones (you were still vague or hesitant about the details sometimes) started showing up, Penelope was secretly thrilled. Of course, she worried for the reasons they showed up, but they all seemed in good health, and never lead to a separate case for the team, so Penelope rejoiced in the fact that you had no choice but to share information about yourself and your family.

You still didn’t share lots, but now Penelope had so much more information than before. Names, faces, seeing you relax more than usual and smile the softest smiles she’d ever seen from you! She backed off when you made it clear you wouldn’t share anymore information, but she couldn’t help but press when she found an opening, she just wanted to get to know you more deeply. And if was through the intermediary of your family members showing up out of the blue at your work? She would wring everything she could out of those impromptu visits.

This time she was unknowingly the first to find them. Like the rest, they’d shown up in the bullpen, but the team wasn’t there this time to ask why they were there, who they were there for. Penelope, by some luck, had had the building’s camera feeds scrolling through on one of her computers, just barely paying attention to it. She’d glanced at the right time when a few of the agents started congregating in one corner and she’d looked closer.

There’d been a child doing acrobats on the banister near the back wall of the bullpen. What in the world … Penelope didn’t have a clue as to how to approach this situation, so she’d decided to make it someone else’s problem and went to her boss. Besides, Hotch had a kid, he’d know what to do!

And then lo and behold, when you saw what was on the screen you’d run off, leaving the team in confusion for a moment until they realized that this must be another one of your family members and chased after you.

They watched you from across the room, seemingly doing nothing to contain or restrain the kid from doing gymnastics on a banister. Penelope’s heart thundered in her chest as she thought they’d fall so many times but never did. She was also impressed when you didn’t move an inch from the impact of the child flinging themself into your arms. She giggled when they wiggled out like a fish and disappeared from view thanks to all the desks between you.

He disappeared from your sight too apparently, because you swore out loud, causing a bunch of their eyebrows to raise at your response.

The kid popped up in front of them with the biggest grin and started talking.

About them. He knew them.

“You must be JJ, I’ve heard you’re a fantastic mom and really good at talking to people-”

To say this little guy was charming, would be an understatement. The cutest cutie-patootie to ever cutie-patootie. An energetic and polite sweetie-pie. Penelope’s heart swooned at their big grin.

“-and you’re Emily Prentiss, you’re a mutili- multiling, you can speak lots of languages like us, that’s so cool-”

Emily raised her eyebrows, partly confused but mostly flattered.

“-and you’re Dr. Reid, my brother’s read your papers, he says you’re really smart and remember lots, he thinks you’re really cool-”

Penelope had to fight the urge to squeal when she thought she noticed Spencer blushing from the praise.

You finally got through the labyrinth of desks to join them. “Dick,” you huffed again quietly, but loud enough that they all heard you. Your kid either didn’t or just ignored you to keep introducing them to themself.

“-and you must be Derek Morgan, you can kick down doors, and you’re really nice and cool and kick-ass-”

Penelope heard JJ let out a quiet breath and Derek cough at hearing a child swear in front of them.

“-and you’re David Rossi, you wrote a book, pretty interesting stuff-”

Rossi’s smile seemed to freeze on his face as everyone was left to wonder if that meant that this kid had been allowed to read a book about gruesome serial killers??

“-and you must be Mr. Boss Man-”

You looked like you wanted to sink through the floor to escape the situation.

“-everyone agrees that you’re great at being really scary! And that you’re a great dad, and you must be the great Penelope Garcia, tech wizard extraordinaire-”

Ok, colour her flattered, this kid could ask for anything and she would get it for them.

“-and really smart like b- like, o- our friend-”

Penelope had to raise her eyebrows at the almost slip up, was this kid hiding something?

“-which is saying something because she’s fantastic, so you must be fantastic too! And I’ve heard that you make awesome cupcakes, but I haven’t got to try one yet, even if I was promised one.” They shot a glare at you.

Penelope giggled. Oh, she was totally going home to bake some cupcakes to send home with you for your kid.

“She hasn’t brought some to work in a while, bud, and the last time I tried you were … out of town and it wouldn’t keep,” you defended.

“So you ate it,” they pouted.

Your mouth twitched as you tried to hold back a smile. “No, not me.”

They gasped. “You gave it to Jay?!”

(This ‘Jay’ character again … hmmmm)

“Sorry,” you said but you were still fighting off a full smile.

Your friend turned away from you and crossed their arms, huffing dramatically.

There was a long enough pause where Penelope thought Hotch was finally going to shoo them off back to work, before you asked, “Did you introduce yourself yet?”

The kid shrugged, giving up on being angry at you and leaped at you again. You caught him easily and tucked him against your side.

“Dick! Everyone, this is-”

“Dick! Short for Richard, English is weird.” He grinned toothily at the team. “I know everyone already.”

Ah. Not swearing then.

“He’s … another, family member,” you confirmed awkwardly.

“Nice to meet you, little man,” Derek said.

“Nice to meet you,” JJ said.

“Wonderful to meet another member of the mysterious family of our dear agent here,” Penelope teased.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled you eyes fondly.

“Alright everyone, back to work,” Hotch finally said, heading to his office after a stern look at his team. Rossi followed to his own office.

Everyone dispersed soon after, with little waves to you and the boy in your arms.

Penelope reluctantly followed in suit, leaving the bullpen for her office with one last glance at you and your brother(?). She was so glad she got to meet your family.

Your teammates left for their respective offices and desks, and you wondered what to do with the small child in your arms. “You want hot chocolate?”

“Yah!”

You chuckled fondly at his enthusiastic cheer and started heading to the kitchenette. “Ok, ok, just remember that this is an FBI workplace with lots of people working so let’s not be too loud, ok? Sorry, bud.”

He sighed and leaned back dramatically, so far that you thought he might slip out of your hold, but he righted himself again and whispered, “ok.”

You chuckled again at his antics and pressed a kiss to his head before placing him on the counter. You went about getting things ready to make hot chocolate, setting the kettle to boil water, grabbing two mugs and filling Dick’s with the powder, yours with your favourite.

“Stay here, alright? I’ll be back, just gotta talk to Hotch for a minute, no shenanigans, ok?”

He gave you an innocent look that you didn’t believe for one minute.

“I don’t care how small you are, I will kick your ass if you get me fired.”

He stuck his tongue out at you.

You raised an unimpressed eyebrow and he giggled. “Fine, fine, no major shenanigans.”

You sighed, that was probably the best you’d get out of him. With one last glance at him, little legs swinging over the edge of the counter, you rushed over to Hotch’s office and knocked.

“Come in.”

“Hi, sorry about this, I swear when I applied, I didn’t think my family was part of the deal.” You laughed awkwardly.

Hotch looked at you consideringly for a moment and nodded. “While it’s not exactly…”

“Welcome behaviour? A good look for the Bureau?” you joked weakly.

“Precedent,” he said. “They shouldn’t be sent away if they’ve come here for … help, or support. Just keep making sure it doesn’t get in the way of your work.”

“Of course, thank you, sir. I also had a question?”

He nodded. “Go ahead.”

“I don’t want to send Dick away, and he’s a sweet kid, really. He just needs … space. To move. I was wondering if I could work in one of the conference rooms, just down the hall. So he’d have space to move and run around and be loud. I can still work, I promise.”

Hotch thought about it, considering your request. “We’ll text you if you’re needed out here. Ask Garcia if you need help with a laptop.”

“Thank you, thank you, sir!”

(You were gone before he could remind you to just call him ‘Hotch’.)

You got back to Dick in the nick of time. Just as the water finished boiling and Dick flipped off the counter.

“I’m pretty sure that counts as a shenanigan,” you said dryly as you finished his hot chocolate and your own drink.

Dick gasped and put a hand to his chest. “Me? Committing shenanigans? I would never. Besides, I promised no major shenanigans, not no shenanigans.”

You rolled your eyes, a fond smile on your face. “Here you go-” you handed Dick his hot chocolate “-be careful, it’s hot, don’t burn your tongue.”

He didn’t listen to you.

You sighed but knew arguing would be futile and herded him down the ramp to your desk. You grabbed the files and things you needed. “C’mon buddy, let’s go find a space where you can move around in, yah?”

You left the bullpen, Dick on your tail, ignoring you coworkers (un)subtle stares, you were sure they’d corner you later to ask. You headed down the hall to an empty conference room and set you stuff down on the table.

“This ok with you?”

Dick looked around, assessing. “It’ll do.” He sat at the table to drink the rest of his hot chocolate.

“Wonderful.” You pulled out your phone to text Penelope and ask her about using a laptop for the day, then pulled some blank papers out of your pile and pushed them towards Dick, along with a few pens.

“You can play in here, draw, sleep, run around, whatever, ok? Just let me know if you need to go out, it’ll look weird if you’re wandering the halls alone, yah? You need anything?”

He thought about it a moment. “Nope.”

Penelope walked in with a laptop.

“Oh, thank you, you’re the best!”

“No problem!” She set it on the table and helped you get it ready.

Dick finished his hot chocolate and hopped off his chair to do cartwheels around the room.

Penelope watched mesmerized for a moment, before blinking and looking back at you. “You’re all good then?”

“I think so, thanks so much for this.”

“It’s my pleasure!” she smiled.

“If I need help, I’ll scream” you joked.

“I’ll keep an ear out,” she teased back, then left, with one last look at the still tumbling Dick Grayson.

You finally sat down and started to work, drinking from your mug and keeping an eye on Dick but leaving him be.

Eventually he tired and sat down. He pulled the paper and pens closer to start doodling, humming to himself.

You worked until lunchtime, when you finally saved you work and closed your computer. “You ready to eat lunch? We can get ice cream for dessert?”

“Ice cream?!”

“Yah, bub, after lunch I’ll take you to this ice cream place nearby, it’s got a good selection of flavours. And for lunch there’s a few different places nearby to choose from. That ok with you?”

“Ok!”

“Alright, let’s go.” You stood up, grabbing some folders, and held out your hand, offering. “I gotta go hand some papers in, we’ll have to stop by the bullpen.”

Dick nodded and walked alongside you.

You stopped by your desk and looked at Dick. Stay here, no causing problems, ok?

He rolled his eyes dramatically and threw himself into your chair.

You glanced between Derek, Spencer and Emily. You pointed two fingers to your eyes, then at them. Watch him.

“No problem.”

You nodded and left Dick spinning in your chair and dashed to Hotch’s office, files in hand. You knocked and waited for his “Come in”, before pushing the door open.

“Files, and just letting you know I’m taking Dick out for lunch, we’ll be back in an hour, text me if I’m needed or a case comes in?”

He nodded, smiling slightly. “We’ll call if we need you. Have fun.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

You popped your head back in and he looked back up from his work. “Um, the whole… scary-boss thing? You’re very good at. Um, in a compliment way. Just so you know.”

Then you left before he could respond or fire you.

You picked up Dick from your desk and took him to a little diner nearby. Afterwards you walked down the street to get ice cream, carrying your treats as you walked in companionable silence.

“Hey,” Dick said your name quietly.

You glanced at him, he was staring at the sidewalk as you walked. “Yah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“For everything, I mean. Not just, not just for the ice cream, for, for-”

“Hey,” you interrupted softly, and he looked at you. “Anytime. For anything. Can you … tell me anything about, uh, the de-aging? You don’t have to, of course, just, does anybody else know, are you in danger, how long this’ll last? If there’s anything I can do to help…?” you trailed off.

“Thanks.” He smiled at you before dropping it. He scuffed his shoes on the sidewalk. “No one else knows yet. I … I didn’t want to worry anyone, and the others had come here so I thought…”

“Well, I’m honoured. And very thankful I have a great team,” you laughed softly.

“They seem pretty awesome.”

“They are.”

You continued on your way back to the office.

“It’s been a minute since I was at the Manor, how is everyone?”

The question energized Dick, and he rambled on about Damian’s art and the animals, Duke’s achievements, Steph’s shenanigans and Tim’s work. He was such a proud older brother, he loved them so much.

But he was apparently ruled by his de-aged body and was soon losing energy.

“Piggyback?” you offered after you’d thrown away your ice cream wrappers.

“You don’t-”

“I want to, c’mon, barnacle me.”

He grinned and leapt onto you, climbing like a monkey onto your back and latching on like a barnacle.

“Back to work we go!”

Dick seemed to nod off on the way and once in the elevator to your floor, you slowly and cautiously shifted him around to hold him in front of you.

You stepped out onto your floor and headed immediately to the conference room where you’d taken up residence for the day.

You sat down at the table, adjusting Dick so he seemed comfortable in his sleeping state, and pulled the laptop closer and went back to work.

Emily’d seen you leave for lunch earlier with your little energetic friend. She didn’t mean to keep an eye out but … she couldn’t help it. You were so cute with your family, you were rarely so open and soft in their presence (to be fair you were coworkers so you didn’t really encounter moments where you could relax), Emily enjoyed seeing this different part of you, sue her.

It was unintentional that she was by the doors to the bullpen and had a perfect view of the elevator doors when you finally returned. Emily’s heart melted at the sight of you carrying the little boy against your chest.

You turned immediately to head to the room you’d been working in for the morning and Emily ran to her teammates and hissed at them to come with her. She didn’t wait to explain and snuck down the hallway and peeked through the window.

“What is it?” JJ asked as she and Derek walked up.

“Look!” Emily whispered-exclaimed and pointed to where you were sitting at the table, working, with Dick sleeping on you.

JJ cooed and Derek smiled at the sweet sight before them.

Suddenly you looked up at them and raised an eyebrow.

JJ smirked, Derek waved, and Emily grabbed her phone to snap a few pics.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, and turned your focus back to your work.

Dick shifted on your lap and your arm went up automatically to hover until he settled, only then set your arm back down.

Emily took a few more photos and sent them to their group chat. (Penelope immediately responded with a string of affectionate and heart eyed emojis.)

They left you alone and returned to their desks.

Dick eventually woke up from his nap, but he stayed on your lap a bit longer, dragging his drawings closer to continue sketching.

When his energy returned, he hopped off your lap to continue his gymnastics and acrobats and burn energy.

At the end of the day, JJ and Derek, dragging along one (1) Dr. Spencer Reid, came by to say goodbye (and maybe spy a little), as you were piling up the last of your things. Penelope popped in right after and took the laptop from you as you thanked her profusely. You ran into Emily on your way through the bullpen and she wished you two a good rest of the day as she left. You left Dick at your desk to entertain himself spinning on your chair for a bit and waved at Rossi who was just closing his office door as you knocked on Hotch’s.

“See if you can’t get him to go home to his own kid,” he joked, and you huffed a laugh.

“Bye, Rossi.”

“Come in.”

You entered and dropped your reports on his desk. “You haven’t started packing up yet?” you asked amusedly with a raised eyebrow.

He sighed. “The paperwork never ends.”

You grimaced in sympathy. “No, it’ll always be there on your desk. So, you should go home to your son and ignore it for a while.”

A startled laugh escaped his lips quietly and he shook his head. “I’m almost finished.”

You nodded and moved to lean against the side table by the window to keep an eye on Dick. (Doing a handstand on your chair. You knew he knew his limits and could handle himself, but your heart still beat a little faster.)

Hotch realized you hadn’t left yet and lifted his head to frown at you.

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m not leaving til you leave.” Knowing it wouldn’t take too much convincing when you had a young Dick Grayson on your side.

He sighed and closed the folder in front of him and you grinned as he shut off his computer.

You waited for him, to make sure he would actually leave and walked down the ramp together. You picked up Dick at your desk (more like caught, when he flung himself into your arms making you laugh and press a kiss to the top of his head affectionately).

You stepped into the elevator and Hotch pressed the button for the bottom floor.

“Did you have a good day at work?” Hotch asked in a serious tone, looking at Dick.

“Offices are so boring without anything fun to do,” Dick sighed dramatically.

“Just wait until you grow up and have your own adult job,” you grinned at him, teasing.

He brought a hand to his chest, looking offended. “I will never grow up, how dare you!”

You and Hotch chuckled at his antics.

“Alright, alright, I believe you, apologies.”

The elevator doors opened, and you exited.

You waved goodbye, walking to your respective vehicles.

“You stayin’ at my place? Or someone else’s? You wanna call Wally? Donna? Or visit Z?”

Dick was quiet as you unlocked your car.

“Think about it, ok? I’ll take you to mine unless you tell me otherwise, and you can stay as long as you need.”

Dick agreed quietly.

“Ok, now, sorry buddy, but I’m putting you in the backseat-”

“Hey!”

“I know! I know you’re not really a kid right now, but your body is, and the front seats aren’t as safe for smaller bodies.”

“Humph!” Dick grumped but allowed you to place him in the backseat.

“Seat belt?”

“Yah, yah.” He pulled it down as you closed the door behind him and went around to the driver’s seat.

“I’m here for you however I can, you know that? Whatever I can do for you, even as an adult.”

Dick was quiet.

“Even when you’re regular sized you can still jump on me, crawl on me, cuddle. I like cuddles. And feeding people. Just, ya know, be aware that you’ll have much more mass, force and acceleration when you have an adult body, so try not to bowl me over, ok?” Everyone deserved to hear reassurances out loud. You wanted to make sure he knew you loved him.

“Ok.”

“Perfect. Wanna have a movie night? If you’re up for it?”

“Hm, ok, but I’m picking the movie.”

“Deal.”

~~~

thanks for reading!! feel free to rb and leave nice comments <3

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Yellowjackets S3 E10 liveblogging

I made a bunch of posts between eps talking about my thoughts and speculating on the next ep. Didn't watch any previews and stuff. Also this time I'm going to watch the credits cause I don't imagine we'll get any spoilers for this ep, what the hell.

Okay.

I wonder who's gonna do the "previously on" line. Under 15 minutes to go and I'm watching something to pass the time and doing some chores and stuff. Really hyped for this one.

I've got this Tumblr app and post open to avoid anybody spoiling anything from the episode or the preview or whatever. Haven't been online since I saw that preview dropped really. Not in Tumblr or tiktok at least.

Aaand it's finally up

I think it was Natalie this time. The previously thing. I'm counting it as confirmation that this episode's fucked up.

Just rewatched Van die in HD so...that was fun.....

If we don't get straight to Misty and Nat I swear-

Nah, yeah, montage, that's totally what we need right now.

Tell me the episode continues where the last one ends and we don't have a fucking time skip

Are they dragging Misty back to camp?

NATALIE?

Fuck is this because of the attempt...I forgot about that.

Tai I know that's you under that fuckass mask next to Shauna.

Wait, Hannah?

Misty? In her hut? What the fuck is going on?

I hate when they do shit like this and leave you disoriented. It genuinely pisses me off. Feels like I'm being edged, just show me the follow-up conversation and continue from the last fucking episode, it's not that hard, for fuck's sake.

Okay, what was that look between Misty and Nat

Oh oops and we're flashing back to that and Natalie is blaming Misty for everything like I guess I knew she would. Very loudly. Screaming like she never scrumpt before.

Oh

Woah

I called Natalie socking her when I guessed that was how her glasses broke but not... Wow

Okay

So Natalie socks Misty so hard she has a cut on her lip that I don't remember noticing on adult Misty but whatever.

She doesn't tell anyone though

And her and Van and Misty work to get everyone home

Shauna's running a secret police natzi style

She doesn't want to get back so she's looking to find the radio? Make sure they can't get home? And Nat and Van and Misty are hiding it and undercover working together to get them home

So Van must know or at least suspect Misty found the flight recorder and crap.

I hope they find out eventually that it wouldn't have helped them get rescued or at least Natalie and Misty figure out what it's actually for...

I don't see either Misty or Nat ever letting this go though.

Meanwhile Lottie's snug in her bed while visions of antler queens dance in her head

Heartbreaking to see the new dynamics

They're clearly trying to keep it on the down low that they're working together but Misty can't help feeling for Natalie and almost blowing their shit by being kind to her so Natalie has to learn to push Misty away to hide their secret relationship. Makes their adult dynamic make more sense.

So this version of the antler queen that Lottie sees is her adult self

AND SHE HAS A PROPHESY OF HER DEATH! Or at least herself post death.

What did they promise?

Who are they meeting? Is it Laura Lee? Tell me it's Laura Lee

Is that Shauna's baby crying?

We're kinda getting her death out of sequence a lil

We're seeing like her death, pre death and post death merging together in her mind which reminds me of bly manor a lil bit

Are we gonna finally get some answers though?

Oh come on.

Was there numbers on their necks in the intro at some point?

Ah fuck

Back to Shauna's milfmobil

What are we up to now?

Tell me they're not burying van in the woods like a prom night baby

God this is heartbreaking

Taissa resolves to unite her two halves by no longer burying her other half and

Oh

I don't know what I expected

I really should have seen this coming

Adult timeline is gonna pop OFF next season (after the obligatory 7 episodes where nothing fucking happens)

Okay

Alright

Misty's gone to see Callie

Callie #1 suspect for Lottie's death LET'S GO!

I think I called it btw

Oh I know the stans are gonna be going off about Misty calling out Callie for drugging her

Hillarious but she has a point and she's allowed to not be happy when it happens to her even if she did inadvertently drug the whole group that one time

Yo why DOES Lottie have a picture of Shauna's kid on her damn phone

Lottie I need you to beat the groomer allegations

I KNEW IT

IT WAS CALLIE

Okay

Last second guess

She lures Callie down to the basement with the tape, tries to get her to do some ritual and Callie freaks out and runs, and Lottie dies in the ensuing scuffle

Ok I'm starting to feel a lil sad for Callie.

She just has the door opened up for her, she can ask anything she wants, and her thirty-year-old actress just asks if her mom loved her. Damn. Honestly though this would hit harder if Callie wasn't so annoying and all this time wasn't wasted on her when I'd rather be watching other stuff. On rewatch I'm sure she's more palatable but to me she'll always be pretty irrelevant. Not even adjacent to the characters I like.

Like at least Lisa's thing with Natalie was interesting and developed her but they're trying too hard to set up Callie as another protagonist when there's nothing really interesting about her, at least to me

"we couldn't stop" they're leaning into the post-rescue hunting clues. Really insinuating that they kept going after rescue but that would be so unsatisfying. How would they even maintain that? People would notice they went missing once a month and shit. And if they kept disappearing. Unless they hunted other people. Which they would logically also notice, if people around them kept dying and going missing after they were rescued. I don't think I like this idea but fuck it, I guess that's where the show is going. I think I hate it though.

I hope it doesn't lead to two seasons post rescue where they're pulling adult timeline bullshit in the teen timeline.

"our child" Lawttie stawp!~

If Shauna was there to hear this she would have ended Lottie herself

"it was an accident" she says as she full body tackles Lottie into the abyss

An accident

Accident

Nevermind, fuck you Callie, I don't like you

I know she's gonna be leading the hunt 2.0 by season 5 finale too, and she's out here calling Lottie insane and claiming she doesn't buy into it.

Sweet scene with Callie and Jeff. I still can't let myself like him or Travis though for what they did to the girls.

Anyway I was right about her death and it seems I'm right about Van and Misty and Natalie working together in secret

I notice winter is more gradually settling this time around and not hitting them like a dump truck like last year.

Aww, Akilah.

Did they forget to build the animals a pen or something to keep them warm during winter?

God the little scarves and stuff they put on them, they really are just kids out here 😭

Yeah Lottie, how did it happen?

Natalie don't talk. Matter of fact, Natalie get behind me, you know you're one spot away from living in that pen, stop talking up.

Mari, the fuck?

I wanna see what to Lottie and Nat Stan's have to say at Lottie smirking when Shauna threatened Natalie into joining the hunt.

Okay. I see now.

Misty and Natalie and Shauna. Van's choosing is how they survive. Tai wants to save her best friend so Shauna's off the table, Nat too because she deserves better and Misty cause she's helping them get out.

Van rigged the cards for shit bucket duty

And she thinks she only now is going to start picking who dies

Baby you've BEEN picking

Tai has a point. It's nice to see season one Tai stepping up and Tai take the reigns again because I was tired of her just being a collaborator, watching on the sides.

Roflmao HE LEFT! HE LEFT AND TOOK THE KID! YAS KING!

You think Melissa ran back to Shauna after all that? I was thinking how hillarious it'd be if the baby survived and shit and Shauna made it back with a baby AND a girlfriend

Her mom would have a coronary

Now LottieShauna is living that dead wife life. John Wick style. Hearing voices and imagining shit.

Where DID everyone go though? That Camo was empty. Was it a dream or someone fucking with her?

Do we think they ever figure out what Van's doing? Also are people gonna start trashing her too now that they know she's straight up picking who's dead or alive and not as innocent as she seemed all along?

Does Misty know about the card rigging? And is Van doing it by switching the order of cards so if anyone stepped out of line or whatever they could fuck the whole thing up?

I'm terrified Lottie's gonna fuck the card order and Akilah's gonna get it. Or Mari. Or maybe Gen

All I know is I'm reading fanfiction and chatting to bots tonight, I'm gonna be fucked up by what happens for sure.

Oh fuck

Shauna

No

no

NO

NO!

Okay

Okay

Mari's NOT going to die

She has the necklace on

She can't die

Fuck you Lottie

NOW Travis is drinking

Great

I'm guessing she's going to hide in the cave

Is Travis going to warn Shauna about the trap?

Mari is for sure not pit girl because I don't think he's told anyone and pit girl was keeping an eye out for the trap and also she was in a nighty so she's definitely not pit girl.

I hope the necklace keeps her safe.

Slumber party makeouts? JACKIESHAUNA CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway Travis is on some funny shit

I love Misty not just washing that man out of her life but removing every trace of him from her house. Please go off on whoever is at the door baby cakes, you deserve it.

Shauna

Why am I not surprised?

YES

YES

PLEASE

PLEASE GO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER I'M BEGGING YOU

Back to mari

Wait

Wait no

Don't tell me

Tell me she doesn't take her damn clothes off

I think she's gonna strip to lead them away

Then almost fall in the pit trap but not

Because pit girl is from the adult timeline

That's my guess here

Is Taissa trying to spare Mari?

Are we gonna have the same TaiShauna fight we had last season all over again?

Are they gonna kiss?

Ngl there was a split second where I thought they were gonna kiss

Is that Natalie with the phone?

Fuck is she gonna get caught by Hannah?

Is that the scene from that first preview where someone's like grabbed by someone else and shit?

Are Van and Nat and Misty and Taissa and Gen planning to call for help or is Gen and Van and Tai gonna try to help Mari or is this part of another plan or...there's so much they're leaving out of the teen timeline.

Honestly? I want Natalie to stab Hannah. To not believe her. To call the hunt off by killing her or whatever. Just go the fuck off. I do NOT trust her and I think it's gonna jite Natalie in the ass if she spares her (again).

What's Akilah up to?

Naw tell me she's not going back in the fucking caves

Akilah's gonna die now isn't she? They've been building up to this all season

And Shauna found the clothes and it seems she's falling for the trap, not that it's a good one but it's bought Mari a few seconds while Shauna looks around like "is this bitch really dumb enough to take all her fucking clothes off and run around barefoot during winter?"

Akilah again.

I want to find a completely feral Lottie down there. If you're gonna go there go all the way there.

Ain't no fucking way

AkIlAh? Baby why? To get rid of Hannah?

Oh no, Akilah

Be careful, baby

Oof, see? I called it. Psych out. And now for Mari to walk away from this unscathed and not fall into a pit trap.

Okay is this a coup on Shauna?

Aww she's only trying to help.

Now I'm hoping Gen's not pit girl either

Come on Mari, prove them wrong! Best the pit girl allegations!

Okay, who the fuck levelled Shauna then?

Misty?

Was it MISTY?

Goddamn!

Cause she's like the only one left

Other than Melissa who I don't see having the balls to- oh no

Mari ran into Lottie

Lottie who knows about the pit trap

Are they on the pit trap?

Is this reality looping?

This is some mind bending stuff right now

No

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Fuck

Gotta give them kudos for blending this scene seamlessly with the pitgirl scene

Was that an eye on the tree? Sort of?

Okay it was melissa

For a glorious moment I dreamed that Misty had enough of Shauna's shit and decided to do the group a solid one though

"I knew you'd turn out to be boring" oh please punch her again Mel

Oh and by the by, FUCK YOU TRAVIS

I need something strong after this

Anyway, who's Tai talking to? Finally seeing some sense. I see they took a vow to protect one another but kinda dumb to like cut everyone off and run if you're gonna do that. If they stayed in each others lives it would look way less suspicious if they did seek each other out rather than only knocking on one another's door when you need help to cover up a murder.

Now I hope Taissa's talking to Misty but I suspect she's talking to herself. I wonder if people will think she's talking to another yellowjacket we haven't seen yet though.

OH SHIT!

SHE'S TALKING SENSE!

TO THE RIGHT PERSON!

FINALLY!

SOMEONE'S CUTTING MISTY INTO THE FOLD.

So next season it WILL be most yand Taissa working together to bring Shauna and Melissa down and Shauna trying to get her family back and shit I guess.

Walter keeps on creeping on

What did Natalie end up doing with the phone?

Did she put it back or hide it?

Oh now we get the pit girl scenes in this cringy montage

Fuck you Shauna for making Natalie the butcher officially I guess now

I guess that's how the hair thing started on the antler queen thing

Or Shauna just wanted it as a prize

Fucking sick fuck

Loser adult Shauna being the most boring character hits my funny bone in a special way

Adult Shauna speedrunning turning into Van's mom

Is that the FUCKING LETTER UNDER THE FRIDGE?

Ngl I can't read some of that writing

Give us a voiceover I'm begging

Forgiving herself is the last thing Shauna needs to do

First thing is hold herself accountable

Honestly I don't think I can sympathize with her, even if she does

Oh for fuck's sake

With that fuckass journalling

Sddjgfyhdhdhdbdbxuduoggbhd

"I was a warrior"

"we were having too much fun"

Speak for yourself

Literally everyone else has got a conscience

Misty regrets to the end of her days that she broke something she thinks could have helped

Took a punch to the face for it and kept working to get back

Taissa, van, all the other girls

Shauna's the big bad here

She's officially the antler queen

But like she's way too fucking into it

Now that she has all the power

It's fun

But when she was nothing it was horrible

The lack of self reflection is hers alone

Everyone else has BEEN reflecting and seeing shit. Or at least some of them. It's just Shauna who's revelling in her power. And Lottie.

Anyway.

Natalie's being really quiet.

That's not Natalie is it?

It's hard to tell with those masks.

But I'm guessing she pulled a fast one here.

Hannah!

I knew it!

Natalie's trying to call for help isn't she?

Nah fuck off Misty did NOT have that cut on her face in the teen-

TIME LOOP

THEY'RE IN A TIME LOOP

THE WILDERNESS IS PURGATORY

WE ARE NOT WATCHING FLASHBACKS TO THE TEEN TIMELINE WE ARE WATCHING THE PURGATORY TIMELOOP WHERE THE YELLOWJACKETS ALL WENT AFTER THEY DIED

All these characters are dead and this is their souls living over the wilderness timeline over and over and over again

That's why things look different this time around

This time Natalie punched Misty and gave her a scar or a cut at least that she had during the pit girl scene

Last time she didn't

And Misty I see that smile

You know don't you?

Natalie's gone up the mountain to get a better signal, hasn't she?

I fucking knew it

THAT'S MY BABY

THAT'S MY GIRL!

I'm guessing next season will be Natalie trying to get help to come over while Shauna tries to hunt her down road runner and Wile E Coyote style. There's a schism in the group already and people are picking sides and nobody's on Shauna's aside from Lottie who's obsessed with her eyes and her baby.

Disappointed we didn't see Laura Lee to be honest

Maybe another time

But yeah

That my theory

[heyftinally]

Swifties do love setting Taylor up.

Just what I saw on Twitter Yesterday:

1989 is a pop Bible that everybody knows. - Well if it's trash maybe.

Reputation is hip hop ??? - What?

Reputation is goth Rock ?? - Lol

That Reputation is also supposed to be R&nB - like where?? wtf?

And her new album the Treacherous Dead Poets Default is an album with a new sound.

Or this yt lady on tt that was claiming that no other artists has transcended genres as successfully as taylor did. 😭 And she mentions Rock? Girl where? And literally there are tons of artists who did it way better than her.

Or that one video which they have now deleted bc taylor was getting dragged. It was a video of her just walking on stage and singing (not live) and the caption was like: I can't believe she was doing that for the first time. ' - Some small part of me does feel sorry for these delusional fanbase. Cause she has the highest grossing tour right now. Big emphasis on right now cause that record is not forever. Anyways they can not post much about her performance anywhere without people using it to drag her. Cause let's face it. She can't perform. She's not serving. She's giving nothing. Her dancers slay more than she does.

Pffffft Taylor went from pop country to pop and never changed again. Slightly different vibes? Sure. Still pop. She wouldn't know rock if it smacked her in the head.

Missy Elliott is hip hop. Early P!nk (ie Most Girls) is R&B. Sumo Cyco is goth rock (+ others, but still). Taylor Swift wouldn't touch any of those genres with a 10ft pole, and quite frankly she'd suck at them if she tried lol.

She doesn't "transcend genres", and considering she can't even make different versions of pop sound good, I think we know why.

And no, she can't perform. Let me flex my expertise here: I'm a trained dancer. Specifically with 26 years of training in tap, jazz, ballet, theater, and contemporary, with additional training in commercial/street jazz (aka music video and tour choreography) and various other styles in sporadic classes. I've literally been choreographing since I was about seven years old, and have been analyzing commercial choreography since I was 15.

That said,

Her performances are not only weak, but they show me that her tour choreographer either

Doesn't exist and she created all of her own "dancing" herself

Doesn't know how to adapt choreography for someone with virtually no dance technique

Actively has something out for Taylor and is trying to make her look bad

I'm going to reference "Look What You Made Me Do" from the Eras tour, because that's the most recent and clearest to illustrate my point

A video of the performance in question, for reference.

Okay, first off, right off the bat, her hand floating on her hip looks awkward and uncomfortable. It's giving "over-excited 8yo at recital". For someone with as much experience as she has performing, I'd expect her to look more settled in her beginning pose. She looks like she's overthinking, and thus it looks under rehearsed.

Then we have that flexed hand - yes it's a nit pick, but that pose belongs very few places outside of a 6yo's tap dance.

Movibg on, her robotic movements look messy as fuck. Sharp isolations like that are HARD. A lot of dancers with years of training struggle with getting the kind of sharpness you would expect to see from that choreography. And on the scale of a stadium like she's in, everything is amplified. If it's messy, it's going to look five times as messy as it might on a smaller scale, because the further away the audience is, the more detail gets lost. So you're movements need to be SHARP in order to translate to the audience. Add to that that this is clearly filmed professionally/intentionally, and it really just looks unprofessional/poorly planned.

Meanwhile the things like the "don't like you" scolding (besides looking childish) are so small that you wouldn't see them beyond the front row. When you're choreographing even for a normal stage, the #1 rule is make everything BIG and intentional. If you're kicking, you're hitting AT LEAST a 45° angle, and with the force of trying to kick the winning soccer (football) goal. Taylor doesn't do that. Those movements are small, sad, and weak, and it honestly looks lazy. I know a 10yo currently doing a competitive dance solo to this song, and I shit you not that 10yo is 50x more interesting to watch perform than Taylor.

So yeah, her music has been one note since Fearless one note (uninspired pop), and her "stage presence" is about on par with an 8yo who doesn't want to be here.

[floatingcatacombs]

Bandai Taketh Away

12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 1

Last year I wrote a post extolling the virtues of Birdie Wing, 2022’s breakthrough “how the fuck did this get made” mafia golf campfest. It’s the little show that could, animated on a shoestring budget to an audience of maybe two dozen extremely online yuri fans who tried their hardest to get literally anyone else to watch it.

It was almost certainly a financial failure for Bandai Namco, whose hopes for kicking off a VR-focused franchise fizzled in real time during season 1. But the resulting anime was a blast, a shoujo sports melodrama where literally anything could happen.

Birdie Wing took a few seasons off between its cours, during which Bandai Namco’s second lesbian anime of the year began airing: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. My jaw dropped as I watched the first episode recreate Utena’s setup beat for beat, including the female main character taking another girl as her fiancé. It’s a gutsy move which set my expectations high. G-Witch was my introduction to Gundam, and the highs of the first season were amazing. Even if I had some occasional complaints with the pacing, the cliffhanger ending and narrative ambition left me very excited for more.  

Season 2 of Birdie Wing was set to fill the gap between cours of G-Witch, but ~something~ happened behind the scenes. It ended up being delayed to Spring 2023, where the two shows would air together. Great! That means double the lesbians. Or…zero?

Fair warning: From here on out I will be both a hater, and a spoiler.

Both seasons start without a hitch. G-Witch finally pops the safety bubble of its setting, with a terrorist attack on the academy followed up by an episode from the viewpoint of Dawn of Fold soldiers trying to survive a retaliatory crackdown from the Spacians. It pulled no punches with its violence and war orphans and trauma, a good sign for the struggles that awaited the main cast. Meanwhile, Birdie Wing continued to pay tribute to old-school Class S after its boarding school arc by involving its cast in a nightmare incest soap opera concerning Eve and Aoi’s parentage and the sins of the previous generation. Both are great developments for their respective shows, suggesting plenty of good stuff ahead.

Unfortunately, this is when both of these shows begin to fall apart. Eve and Aoi manage to beat the incest allegations, but afterwards their relationship just…stops. Their chemistry all but dissipates, the homoerotic rivalry giving way to their personal relationships with golf instead of with each other. The plot keeps the two of them apart as much as possible, devoid of the angsty longing from season 1, as the girls each succumb to a different form of golf cancer (even without the gay-baiting, at least Birdie Wing is still insane).

For G-Witch, a much more ambitious anime, this decline manifests as a creeping realization that they’re simply going to drop most of the open plot threads. The show takes its sweet time, even as it becomes clear that it’s barreling towards a finale at 24 episodes. The long-awaited plot twists are handled fine, I guess. But any sense that the show is aiming for greatness fades away, as it simply tries to drag itself to the finish line, buckling under its own weight. What we see on screen is what we get, and you’ll have to fill in the blanks yourself to really be happy. The Earthian-Spacian conflict ends up as mere set-dressing, and characters who clearly had intertwined backstories never even get the chance to interact. The obvious examples are the man who killed Suletta’s dad in the prologue resurfacing and that never really coming up, and everything to do with Chuchu and Nika’s backstories. I’m not here to nitpick, but it’s a shame that everyone’s characterization is left so thin. G-Witch really feels like it was meant to be a full 50-episode series, and I’m led to believe that this trimming down happened during production, as there’s just no other reason to set so much up without resolving it.

At last we reach each show's conclusion. Birdie Wing is saddled with a final arc full of professional tournaments, which is always going to be weaker than the dirty mafia golf on a conceptual level. The timeline begins to rapidly accelerate and suddenly we’re skipping ahead months, and then entire years. We don’t get to see most of Eve and Aoi’s final game, or even the period of time where they reconcile. An enduring friendship and rivalry is implied at the end, but it’s nowhere near the mutual obsession that the prior season depicted. Not an ounce of queerbait remains, even for the terminally yurigoggled such as myself.

Meanwhile, G-Witch dedicates some of its precious final minutes to a fight with Lauda (Jesus Christ is the Schwartzette is wasted on him), and just like Birdie Wing the two girls at the heart of the show barely get any time together as the end draws near. They ultimately opt for a Macross-Symphogear ending in which Suletta pilots a Gundam that shoots gay rainbow lasers and defeats her mom with the power of love and friendship. That’s fine! But that’s the ending for a show that didn’t happen! In its last act G-Witch retreats into its shell, unable to commit to the moral weight of the world it had built up. Laughably, the epilogue time-skips to a neoliberal utopia where Miorine solves the earth-space conflict through her sheer girlboss acumen. Suletta and Miorine’s gay wedding is implied at best, and an after-credits message states that this is the conclusion of The Witch from Mercury as a story, prematurely killing any potential follow-up.

The rest is history. Kadokawa redacts an interview to remove references to Suletta and Miorine being married, Bandai releases a statement that their status at the end of the show should be left up to interpretation, and everyone is mad forever.

What happened? Both of these shows fell apart at the same time, and both in a manner that defused their implicit queerness. Birdie Wing was always a bit of a trainwreck even at its best, so in a vacuum I would have just concluded that the production ran out of steam, unable to live up to its earlier writing. But the timing of Season 2’s delay, combined with the corporate meddling that affected G-Witch, makes me downright conspiratorial. Something went down at Bandai Namco, and it led to them ordering their productions be revised halfway through to scrub out all the gay shit and play things safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if this occurred at the same time as G-Witch was trimmed down from its initial 50 to 24 episodes with no chance of a continuation. It’s also not too much of a stretch to imagine Birdie Wing receiving a “stick to sports" mandate and Yosuke Kuroda subsequently phoning it in. I don't know how else to say it: there's no reason to do an incest fakeout if you're not even going to follow up on it afterwards once you've gone through the difficult work of exonerating them.

Witch from Mercury was a commercial success (it sold a shitton of gunpla, at least!) so it seems like a surprise that Bandai Namco would clamp down creatively in such a destructive way. Or maybe not. This may be the first female-led Gundam, but in a lot of other ways it’s fairly restrained as far as Gundams go. Perhaps BN decided that G-Witch had to be a balancing act to please everyone, preventing the creative staff from truly swinging for the fences in the end. Of course, that backfired horribly and they ended up pissing off himejoshis and regular mecha fans alike. I know it’s something of a fool’s errand to expect undeniable LGBT representation from anime, but when you begin with an explicit Utena homage, I expect better.

This has all been a bit of a downer, so I wanted to end things by sharing the anime I watched this year that actually gave me what I wanted out of those two shows.

Watching through the original Mobile Suit Gundam made me realize just how conservative G-Witch is in a lot of its storytelling. 0079 is a deeply radical show for its time, and still would be if you made it today. The unhesitating depiction of war and death through the aesthetics of a 70’s children’s show is particularly bold, and even the parts of the anime notorious for being overlong successfully reinforce the overall mood of the work. Amuro’s transformation from innocent child to unrelenting psychic soldier is as inevitable and upsetting as it should be, and even with all the “filler” the script feels much tighter than the G-Witch, which ambles around with side stories that don’t resolve and characters that don’t go anywhere. Imminently watchable. I love that the mommy issues in Gundam go all the way back, and I'm also starting to understand why you fuckers have been arguing about Char Aznable for 40 years.

you.

I also watched Kakegurui this year, which served as a great alternative to Birdie Wing. It doubles down on the best parts of that show – mostly-female cast, high stakes gambling, dubious lesbian rep – with an all-consuming sleaze to it. Grab some friends who aren't easily scandalized and try not to worry too hard about gaze or the intended audience, and it will be a hoot. The production values are great, even if most of it inevitably goes to girls making upsetting faces. The first opening in particular is an animation highlight. Of course, this is a MAPPA production, so they’re far too busy flaying their workers alive in the pits of hell to ever get around to another season. May their company unionize or perish.

[templeofbhalls]

Show Me How

Wyll x Divya (OC) | 3.5k words | 18+/mdni

content warnings: oral sex/cunnilingus

originally posted 01/09/24 (reposting bc it got deleted)

Divya shows Wyll how to take care of his horns, while he shows her how good she makes him feel.

After a long day of adventuring, the party finally made it back to camp. 

It had been their hardest day yet – upon arriving at the Risen Road, they did not expect a pack of gnolls to be waiting for them. They slaughtered them all, saving the lives of two Zhentarim smugglers and getting paid rather handsomely for it, too. One of them even suggested for them to check out their hideout in Waukeen’s Rest. They planned to do just that, but first, they needed a well-deserved long rest.

Shadowheart was tending to Lae’zel’s wounds she received in battle, Karlach was handing off some food so Gale could make his classic stew supper, and Astarion? Well, he was already one deep in a goblet of red.

Whether it was wine or blood he was sipping on, the party will truly never know.

Meanwhile, as the sun set over the horizon, Wyll followed Divya to the camp’s riverbank. It had taken some convincing, but she finally got him to agree to teach him how to care for his horns. He figured he might as well, if Mizora herself said she couldn’t undo his transformation.

Besides, he definitely wanted to share another moment alone with her, away from the prying eyes of their colleagues.

“Are you ready to have the best looking horns on this side of the Sword Coast?” Divya grinned as she sat on the ground, already digging into her pack for her supplies.

Wyll chuckled at her excitement, sitting cross-legged by her side. “Of course, especially with you as my teacher.”

The tiefling woman blushed as she pulled a leather pouch from her bag, opening it to reveal two bottles with labels almost too small to read, even with his infernal eyes. He squinted to try to make out the text, but it seemed like she didn’t need to read the labels anyways.

“Do you see these right here?”

Wyll nodded, watching her eagerly.

“These are the only products you’ll need, don’t let anyone try to convince you that you need anything else.” She began to explain, specifically grabbing one with a clear liquid inside. “This one is used to clean your horns. Don’t know what they put in this, but it works a lot better than just plain old water.” She carefully popped the cork off with a skilled claw. “Can you get me one of the rags from my pack, please?”

He handed her a rag, his fingers softly brushing against her own. He pretended like it didn’t have any effect on him, but after the tiefling party, he definitely had let his mind wander, thinking about touching her again, feeling her warm, bare skin underneath his fingers.

In fact, it was something he thought of a lot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Click her to continue reading on a03!

[problemswithbooks]

It’s so obvious hori only has no problem with killing off non lov villains, if it’s hero or lov they all got ridiculous amounts of plot armor. stain getting killed off by afo is exactly what I expected, how else can hori show that afo is not just a punching bag for every damn hero of every level? look! afo can actually kill someone super easy!

sorry, just can’t find this exciting

Yeah, I totally agree.

As I said in my previous post I always expected Stain to die (or just be forgotten about/thrown back jail). I was never someone who thought my fav would have a happy ending. In most media I consume my favorite character is usually a low level villain that gets killed, so I'm more then used to it. Him dying isn't my issue--it's how lazy and little story impact it had.

Some of my other favorite characters that have died have been Greed, and Kimblee from FMA, Nnoitra and Tesla from Bleach and Han'nya from Rurouni Kenshin.

All of these had deaths that either matter plot wise or were given emotional impact. None of these characters are particularly big players when it comes to screen time, especially Han'nya and Tesla who were essentially side-kicks. Yet, their deaths are given a decent focus and/or effect the plot/themes of the work.

Hori did try--I will give him that. He did have Stain think something somewhat sentimental and sort of pray, but it's just not really enough. All might wanted to save him, sure, but after he gets killed, All Might is then the main focus and his death is pretty much dropped. It doesn't effect All Might and why should it when Stain wasn't really given much personality besides 'crazy guy' even right before he died.

And I saw that someone said in my last post, I was jumping the gun and Stain could be alive--which, yeah, I guess Hori could pull another Gran Torino and hand-wave him back from what clearly looked like his upper body being turned into mush, but why would he?

The reason I think Stain is super dead is because he's so unimportant. Hori has given him zero story value. Even him helping the Heroes with Info was rendered pointless because Star reset the clock for them. Nor has he done anything to expand his character past 'insane murder man'. Heck, I'd argue he actually had more nuance when he first showed up then he did in his last chapter, that continued to paint him as an All Might obsessed weirdo (which isn't me saying he shouldn't hold AM up as an ideal, but maybe not have him remember his scent and sniff rocks--he could have just watched and seen which blood was AfO's).

There's very little reason to bring him back in, especially since he has no Quirk and would be super injured. The only reason to have him pop back up alive is to save All Might again and get a slightly better death scene. But then the one we just watched is rendered even worse because it was a waste of time.

And I guess Hori could just say he survived at the very end, but again what would be the point? To go back to jail? I don't see anyone but the main LoV getting off scot-free, so this would only make the situation look worse, since Stain actually tried to the Heroes (twice) and gets prison time, meanwhile the LoV who were helping AfO up until the very last minute get nothing. It would be equally weird to have him just pop up at the end and get a panel saying he was also rehabilitated when Hori never painted him as anything but a crazy killer. Like it'd need a bit more of an explanation, then i think Hori wants to spend time on.

IDK, I just think he could have given Stain's death a bit more oomph--mainly by giving a little flashback to his childhood. It would have helped with the theme of villains having been kids once, while also showcasing how much AM mattered to him.

But I guess we'll see how things go. Maybe Hori will surprise us and have Stain do something in the vestige world because AfO stole his Quirk. I doubt it but who the hell knows, Hori is unpredictable.

[felixcloud6288]

Fullmetal Alchemist Chapter 48

Heist 3 is a success, but everything quickly falls apart.

Hawkeye shows off her marksman skills. She managed to shoot Scar while driving a vehicle to a skidding stop.

Lin nearly threw his back out lifting Gluttony.

If the fight with Scar had background music attached to it, Ed and Al's dramatic speech as they prepare to defeat Scar would be accompanied by a crescendo followed by off-tune tuba note when May interrupts everything and helps Scar escape.

Something seems off about Wrath's expression when he sees Hawkeye and Lin traveling together.

It's like he's excited to realize Roy has some connection to the foreigners who he caught hunting the Homunculi.

After it's first mention in chapter 32, we finally see a demonstration of Xingese Alchemy being used for healing purposes. May mentions that she can't heal where the "flow of power" in the human body can't reach, nor can she grow back limbs. So that means she can't give Ed a new arm nor heal Havoc's spine.

And now that everything's calmed down, Scar takes a moment to reflect on what happened with Winry.

Not really sure how Xiao Mei got separated from May Chang. She probably got lost in the smokescreen.

Al tosses Xiao Mei into his armor in the next scene.

Scenes like the one where Winry is sharing a drink with Bradley are so much better due to us knowing he's actually Wrath. We see Ed and Al walk into the room that Winry is in, then turn the page and see Wrath. If you didn't worry the first time you read it, then you've somehow skipped every scene every scene he's been in. We'd spent the last few chapters watching him hunt down Lin and Lan Fan like a monster. Then he suddenly appears in what is supposed to be a calm scene. And even though he takes his leave and tells Ed to take care of Winry, we're left with a sense of unease that Ed and Al are completely oblivious to.

Winry had Ed's jacket in her lap during that scene but when they're all traveling to the hotel, the jacket vanishes. No one is carrying it and Ed is never seen wearing it again.

Winry gets a call from Garfiel and all the clients she's helped since taking on an apprenticeship with him. They all reaffirm what Ed told her. She is someone who saves lives, just like her parents. And there are people waiting for her help.

Meanwhile, Havoc is doing what he can to stay fit despite his condition. He's accepted that he won't be able to stay in the military, and plans to find some other way to help support his team. They're waiting for him to catch up.

Ed promises that he won't make Winry cry again, except out of happiness. And she glimpses his back one last time before the train leaves.

Xiao Mei popped out of Al's armor when Roy picks them up. He's even petting her.

Roy picks up Ed, Al, and Dr. Knox in a new car since Scar destroyed the old one. I have no idea what happened to the one Hawkeye stole commandeered in chapter 45. She drove it into the fight to pick up Lin and Gluttony, but it's nowhere to be seen later.

Also not sure where Lin go the new shirt and jacket. Roy's wearing the same shirt and jacket so maybe Roy has some extra clothes lying around that house just in case.

Roy and Lin's discussion confirms this is the first time they've actually met despite working together for the Heist. I guess this means Roy didn't intend to involve Lin in the Super Heist and Lin decided to inform Al and join in for his own reasons.

There's a jacket laid over Lan Fan's bed. It appears to be the one Dr. Knox was wearing.

During their post-Heist 3 briefings, Lin reveals how he caught a WAY bigger fish than expected when he discovered Bradley was a Homunculus. Roy's eyes did that thing when he got that bit of info.

But things start to fall apart when everyone starts arguing over what to do next since they all have their own separate ideas of what to do with Gluttony. And then things literally fall apart when he breaks free and begins to rampage.

Poor Dr. Knox is another normal person being dragged into the shenanigans and uncovering grand conspiracies, just like Maria and Danny. He has nothing to do with any of this and now he's privy to the existence of the Homunculi and he gets to find out that the President is a Homunculus. And now the poor guy is caught up having to deal with Gluttony going on a rampage.

back

[sinceileftyoublog]

Superchunk Live Show Review: 7/8, Square Roots, Chicago

BY JORDAN MAINZER

From the Czar Bar to the middle of Lincoln Square: Such is the story of Superchunk’s three-decade history in Chicago. Looking on at the crowd Saturday night at Square Roots, it was clear to Mac McCaughan that not many people knew what he was talking about when he mentioned the long-defunct venue. You know what, though? That’s Superchunk’s fault for attracting a new generation of fans. Since 2010, the band has released three great and one very good post-hiatus records. Saturday night, the crowd was perhaps expecting to hear more of their latest, 2022′s Wild Loneliness (Merge); instead, the set was practically two-thirds old material, including a few deep cuts, geared towards perhaps the very people at the Czar Bar in the early 90′s.

Superchunk’s brand of indie rock never went out of style. Even when baroque instrumentation pervaded the sound of the who’s who of independent music, there were always fans of power pop-bordering on-pop punk to be found, somewhere in between Cheap Trick and the Warped Tour. McCaughan and company’s earnestness never wore off. During the Aughts, the band simply wasn’t releasing music, but as soon as they did again, they returned right where they left off. All of this is to say it makes sense that Superchunk could attract a wide variety of listeners, versatility they showed off better than ever on Saturday. The gentler-than-usual lilt of What A Time To Be Alive’s “Black Thread” found a kindred spirit in the sway of “Driveway to Driveway”, while burner like On the Mouth’s “Precision Auto” mirrored the urgency of Majestry Shredding’s “Learned To Surf” and I Hate Music's shout-along anthem “Me & You & Jackie Mittoo”.

Meanwhile, the festival offered an opportunity for established bands like Superchunk to reflect on themselves and the others playing, how far all of them have come. During their set, McCaughan shouted out the stage’s previous occupants, local alt rock legends Eleventh Dream Day, as well as the Mekons’ Jon Langford and Sally Timms, who both joined Eleventh Dream Day and played a set of their own across the grounds earlier in the day. As for those who weren’t there, Superchunk dedicated No Pocky for Kitty’s “Seed Toss” to the late Rick Froberg, the Pitchfork/Drive Like Jehu/Hot Snakes lead vocalist who passed away late last month. They unexpectedly ended their set not with a no-brainer like “Slack Motherfucker” but their version of Lou Barlow’s oft-covered “Brand New Love” from their 1992 Tossing Seeds singles compilation. On Monday, I looked at the band’s setlist at Thalia Hall the following night to find there was not much crossover. For the uninitiated and the familiar, every Superchunk show is an invitation to dive in or rediscover something great that just happens to have been there the whole time.

[ayrtonswnna]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"TIMELINE"

⠀⠀max verstappen x brianna hoffman (driver!female oc)

author begs you: send a request ʚɞ masterlist here

angst/fluff — it's been a long time coming; brianna and max have been racing each other for years. watch as they grow into their seats and hate grows into love.

📻 lele's radio: this was living in my drafts for months bc i wanted to make it longer but i left it for long enough. i want to make a part two if you guys like it so here it is!

warnings:: angsty somehow, abuse of power by a third part, max and brianna being reckless teenagers, jos verstappen trigger warning, google translated german and dutch, a few making out sessions, poorly timed but easy to understand. would def work on a part 2 of this.

Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was the hot-headed Dutch boy or the too-passive-aggressive German girl. Maybe it was just their teenage blood, pumping full of adrenaline.

Or maybe it was a racing thing — the kind of emotions that only surfaced on the karting track. They liked to think of it that way.

"Don't start! Don't get me started." the curly-haired girl snapped, heading in the opposite direction, helmet in hand as she climbed out of the purple-pink kart she had just raced in. "Go cry or whatever, feel free. Just don't even talk to me."

The sky was falling, rain making it even harder to hear each other. Max didn’t need to catch every word to know she was bitching at him.

"C'mon! C'mon, Brianna! Do you have no shame? You almost ran me over!"

"Welcome to motorsports, Verstappen! What, did you expect me to sit behind you the whole time? We’re not on the streets — that's my job! You creep."

They didn’t know it yet, but this argument would go down in history. Their lives were already on record, every race documented, every rivalry captured on camera. One day, this fight would be clipped, edited to some overplayed pop song, and go viral on Twitter as a throwback moment.

But right now, all they could do was go through their usual post-race routine, burning off whatever adrenaline was left.

"Next time you pull a move like that on me, I’m fighting back. Mark my words." Max spat, rushing to keep up with her as they both sprinted toward the covered part of the kart track, drenched from the downpour.

"Yeah? Good." Brianna shot back, faking a yawn as she dropped her helmet into a staff member’s hands. "I’m dying to have some fun. It’s getting boring out here."

Anyone watching them fight would assume the argument had cost them the race. But no — it was P1 and P2 yelling at each other. This was just what they did.

And every time, Max got irrationally pissed off at how effortlessly calm she was. Her brown skin glistened under the rain, her hair tied low, her expression steady, unfazed.

Meanwhile, he was red in the face, cheeks burning, eyebrows furrowed, a near-pout tugging at his lips. Brianna caught sight of his expression and laughed.

"Get over it, Max. Try harder next time, and maybe you won’t end up on my back."

She clapped him on the shoulder and walked away, heading toward her team and parents.

Max, as always, was left hanging.

Teenage years were a hot take. Brianna always made sure she was making the best out of them.

Winning in karting was sometimes just fun, something she did because she could. She had two loving parents watching over her, through the good and the bad, and in her young mind, that seemed like the bare minimum.

Apparently, it wasn’t.

She was searching for her mom when she caught sight of Max Verstappen, sitting in a plastic chair, shoulders hunched, eyes red. A man towered over him, speaking harshly.

It only took her a second to recognize the man in question — Jos Verstappen. He had never looked friendly, and today was no exception.

"And you can’t even win this? This shitty championship? Losing to a girl? How do you—" He stopped, dragging a hand over his face before continuing. Brianna couldn’t understand much after that.

"Verdomme! Je bent een pijn in de kont, dat is toch basis! Dat zou gemakkelijk voor je moeten zijn, hoe kun je—Hoe plan je op deze manier de Formule 1 te bereiken? Teleurstelling." (Fuck! You're a pain in the ass, that’s basic! That should be easy for you to do, how do you—How do you plan to reach Formula One that way? Disappointment.)

Her chest tightened. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Max was coping with that, and she could only wonder what race Jos had been watching.

Fine, Max had lost his position to her, and after she passed him, everything had spiraled — he had barely held onto his podium. But still, he was Max Verstappen. He was leading the championship. He was ruthless. How could someone talk to their own son like that?

The words were brutal.

"Max! Gooooood-old Maxie!"

She almost couldn’t believe she was doing this. Showing sympathy for him felt like being stabbed, yet at the same time, it felt like the best thing to do.

"Did you know I have more podium pictures with you than with anyone else? It’s truly concerning." The words were foolish, but they served their purpose — to shift the focus away from the screaming. "Sorry, Sir Verstappen. I’m stealing your son for a moment, I promise!"

She barely thought about it. Brianna grabbed Max’s arm and led him away toward one of the small resting rooms.

"What the fuck, Brianna?"

"Saved you a lecture. Now save us some time and don’t bitch about it." She shoved a plastic cup of water into his hands. "Drink. You need to look good at my podium."

Max stared at her, still in his race suit, water dripping from his hair, looking completely lost.

Was she… being nice?

And worse — or maybe better — she wasn’t making it weird. She kept up the swearing, the jabs, as if she hadn’t just overheard his father tearing him apart.

He hadn’t seen it coming. Honestly, neither had Brianna.

So, it was almost a relief when the door burst open and two excited voices filled the room.

"Wir haben dich gefunden! Wo ist das Nummer-eins-Mädchen der Welt?" (Oh, we found you! Where is the number one girl in the world?)

She bounced on her heels, laughing as her dad pulled her into a hug, while her mother wrapped her arms around her.

Did she do that on purpose? Was this meant to be rubbed in Max’s face — that, besides winning, she also had a happy home? Supportive parents?

"Dein Nummer-eins-Mädchen der Welt!" (Your number one girl in the world!) She corrected them with a playful smile before glancing back at Max. "Did you guys see him overtaking me in one of the first laps? I didn’t think I’d win after that."

Weird. This whole day was full of surprises.

"He got you good with that one, huh? You two are like a movie playing out in real-time." Her dad chuckled, making Max even more confused.

No one was going to fight? No yelling? No insults?

He had expected it — from anyone in this room. From parents, because that’s how his worked. And from Brianna, because that’s how they worked.

Instead, she was being… nice. Supportive. It was unsettling.

"You’re doing great, Max." Brianna’s mom added. "Sad we can’t have you win all the time, but you’re a good one."

Something warm and unfamiliar settled in his chest.

"Thanks." he murmured. He hesitated, then added, "You guys did a great job with Brie, too. She’s a handful, but… I guess that’s the fun."

"She only teases the ones she likes, son."

"DAD!" Brianna snapped, brows furrowing.

The ones she liked.

This day just kept getting weirder.

"Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry, sweetie. Now let’s go to the podium celebration." Her father clapped his hands together. "Where’s your dad, Max? Maybe you guys can have lunch with us today."

The years passed. Formula Three became the new battleground, but Max Verstappen and Brianna Hoffman still put on the same old show.

Only now, it was even more heated.

They stormed out of their freshly crashed cars, marching toward each other with foul language already sitting on the tips of their tongues.

It wasn’t surprising — everyone saw it coming. Their teams in the pit boxes had barely flinched. Everyone knew fire would ignite the moment Max reached the back of the still-purple-pink car.

"You bastard!" Brianna shouted, ripping off her gloves and shoving them against Max’s chest. "You’re an asshole! A bitch! Who the fuck do you think you are, for fuck’s sake?!"

Oh, and it was raining. Their best scenario. The downpour only added to the drama.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Max quipped, his grin all sharp edges and mischief. "I’m Max Verstappen. Thought you’d know me by now."

"Cut the bullshit! You had plenty of room! Why did you do this? Look at my car! My fucking car! You fucked up — seriously!" Brianna’s voice rose with every word.

She wasn’t usually like this. The whole point of her attitude was making people lose their minds without even raising her voice.

But not this time.

Max had a clear path. He didn’t need to put her in the wall but he did it anyway. And that was the difference between them now.

He had high-profile opportunities knocking on his door — his path to Formula One practically set. Brianna, on the other hand, was still fighting for every single point, proving herself over and over again. And still, it wasn’t enough.

Worse — rumors had it; she was losing her F3 seat.

"Did I?" Max tilted his head, unimpressed. "Set a meeting so we can talk about it." He shrugged, already turning to leave. "See ya."

Brianna stomped her foot like an angry child, gripping her balaclava and safety gear in her arms as the rain plastered her hair to her skin. Maybe it was a good thing. No one could see the few stray tears slipping down her face.

Minutes later, she found herself sitting in the back of the karting complex, staring blankly at the man in front of her while she fidgeted with her balaclava between her fingers.

"You fail to attack, you fail to defend, and you lose your mind over stupid shit!" the man snapped. "Why the hell would you yell at Max like that? He’s better than you! He’s just better. You gonna whine about it? Seriously?"

Brianna didn’t say a word.

Yes, Max was better. She knew that. He had been trained for this since childhood, shaped into near-perfection by the age of seventeen. She could never be him. And she knew that, too.

"Huh? What do you have to say?" The man leaned forward, voice dripping with condescension. "Your car is wrecked! Again! I can’t be out here paying for you to wreck expensive shit every other weekend!"

Sponsorships worked like that. No matter how many results she delivered, they always expected more. Always found something to criticize.

"I take your brand to the podium every other week!" she shot back. "Hell yes, you can pay for me to wreck expensive shit!"

Too slow.

"Brianna, that’s not how this works." His voice turned dangerously low. "It’s like I own you, right? You’re here because of me. So start acting like it. And start avoiding Max Verstappen every time you see him on track. It’s clear you won’t be able to in a few years."

She was sure he kept talking. But she wasn’t listening anymore.

Because at that moment, Max Verstappen walked past.

And there was no avoiding him.

He was staring at her, expression unreadable, like he was trying to put together a puzzle. And maybe he could, because the second she wiped at her damp cheeks, his gaze hardened.

"Are you listening, Brianna?" The voice in front of her grew impatient. "One more chance. You either pull off a perfect performance next weekend, or you start applying to college."

"Yeah, I’ll take the perfect performance." She muttered.

She grabbed her things and left, the heavy rain drumming against the metal roof as she walked away and toward the resting complex, Max right behind.

"Going through some shit, huh?"

"Get lost, Max." Brianna exhaled deeply, gripping the water bottle she had just grabbed. "Get fucking lost."

"I just came to check in… You don’t seem okay."

"My car is broken. Do you really think I should be okay right now?"

"I mean… my car is also broken." He shrugged as if that made things better. It didn’t.

"Yeah, Max? Damn, fool you. Don’t worry, you’re getting a fresh and pretty F1 car in a few months. I’m the one taking the L." She wasn’t yelling anymore. Just letting it all out. "Please, just go."

"Alright." Max hesitated. "I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but… you know… you’re pretty decent. I might make it there faster, but you’ll be there too."

Brianna frowned, taking a sip from her water.

This wasn’t Max. "Quit the pity talk."

"No pity. I’m being honest." He shrugged again. "You just struggle when I’m around. You get all nervous and freak out."

And there it was. That familiar, insufferable tone.

Sure, they helped each other sometimes. But the rivalry—that was the only thing keeping everything in place.

"Yeah, in your dreams, Verstappen."

Max rolled his eyes but didn’t leave. Instead, he stepped closer, tilting his head as he studied Brianna’s face. Exhaustion was written all over her.

The rain had done nothing to mask the weight pressing down on her shoulders, the stiffness in her posture, the way her fingers clenched around the bottle like it was the only thing keeping her grounded.

"You’re doing that thing again." he said simply, arms crossed over his chest.

"What thing?"

"Where you act like none of this affects you when you’re clearly two seconds away from collapsing." His voice wasn’t teasing now. It was steady. Unshakable. "Just breathe, Brie."

Brianna huffed out a breath, rolling her shoulders back. "I am breathing."

"Not properly," he countered, stepping even closer. "Come on, let’s get you out of this wet suit. You’ll get sick."

"Oh, so now you care?"

He didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he reached out and, for the first time in forever, touched her without it being some kind of challenge. His fingers brushed against the zipper of her race suit, his touch hesitant, giving her space to push him away.

But she didn’t. She was too tired to fight him off, too drained to pretend she didn’t want to let go just for a moment.

"You’re a mess." he muttered, pulling the zipper down slowly. "You drive like a maniac, you take risks that would terrify anyone else, and you let people talk to you like you’re not the best damn driver out there."

Brianna exhaled, barely reacting as he peeled the soaked fabric off her shoulders, leaving her in just her undershirt. "I don’t let people talk to me like that."

"Yeah? Sounded like you did just now." His eyes flickered to where her sponsor had been just minutes ago, and for the first time, there was something protective in his stance. A quiet, simmering rage that — for once — wasn’t directed at her. "They don’t see it, but I do. You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. And you’re not going anywhere."

She hated how much that affected her. How much she wanted to believe him.

"Max—"

"Let me take you back to the hotel." He cut in. "You’re exhausted. You’ll get sick if you stay out here, and you know I’m right."

Brianna hesitated, her pride screaming at her to argue. But then Max did something unexpected. He reached up, brushing a strand of wet hair away from her face, his fingers gentle against her skin.

"Just this once, let me take care of you."

The air between them shifted. This was new. This was something neither of them knew how to navigate. But she was too damn tired to fight him on this.

"Fine." She muttered. "But if you start acting all smug about this, I swear to God—"

"I’d never." He said, a smirk playing at his lips as he grabbed her bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Come on, hotshot. Let’s get you out of here."

And for the first time, Brianna let him lead the way.

The ride to the hotel was quiet. Brianna was half-asleep against the window, and Max didn’t even try to tease her for it. When they finally arrived, he checked them in with a quick nod to the receptionist, then nudged her forward toward the elevator.

"Shower first." He ordered the moment they stepped into her room. "You smell like wet asphalt."

"Charming." She muttered, kicking off her shoes. "I don’t need you bossing me around."

"Then move faster."

She shot him a glare but didn’t argue, grabbing her things before disappearing into the bathroom. The sound of running water filled the space, and Max sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing a hand over his face.

He didn’t know why he was still here. He should have gone to his own room, should have left her alone, but—

"Max?"

He looked up just as Brianna emerged, her damp hair falling over her shoulders, drowning in a hoodie that was definitely too big to be hers. Probably a team-issued one. She hesitated, eyeing him as he sat stiffly on the mattress.

"You’re just gonna sit there all night?"

"I was planning on it."

"That’s dumb."

"You’re dumb."

She rolled her eyes, then sighed as she climbed into bed, throwing the covers over herself. "Just get in."

He froze. "What?"

"This is already weird enough. If you just sleep here, it won’t make it worse."

Max blinked at her, unsure if this was a trap. "Pretty sure that’s not how it works."

"Max. I’m tired. You’re tired. Just—stop being weird about it and sleep."

He hesitated for another second, then exhaled sharply before kicking off his shoes and sliding under the covers beside her. There was a cautious distance between them, a line neither of them was willing to cross, but the warmth was grounding.

"Nothing changes." She mumbled, her eyes already closed.

"Nothing changes." He echoed.

"We still hate each other."

"Obviously."

She hummed sleepily, already on the verge of unconsciousness. "You’re a pain in the ass, Verstappen."

Max let his head sink into the pillow, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "Yeah, yeah. Go to sleep, hotshot."

And for the first time in a long time, they both did.

[sick-ada]

OKAY SO HERE'S THE OVERVIEW:

marie and callie swap, classic. marie still wins the final fest but she's the one who gets kidnapped and hypnoshaded

flora and bola swap. for those who i havent brainrotted about these guys at, flora is my agent 4 and bola is his roomie/squadmate/platonic bestie/whatever who's unassociated with the NSS. the swap in this context means that bola becomes agent 4 and flora is unassociated with the NSS

(flora on the left, bola on the right)

in my normal canon, flora goes along with marie bc he's hard of hearing so he literally doesn't hear her "rescue my cousin from the octarians" explanation, but he's willing to go with the flow when someone hands him a military-grade weapon

bola, on the other hand, is a lot less compliant. callie actually seeks them out, since her approach is to recruit the scariest person she can find rather than recruit the first person she finds.

bola is also less willing to "go with the flow." they dont agree out of the goodness of their heart, they make a deal: they'll help callie with this if callie agrees to help them out after (their goal being to fuck with squidforce as much as physically possible)

also in my canon marie and callie are field agents while agent 3 stays at the back and gives commands, so callie and bola go through the kettles as a two-person team

while bola is an octoling, they're not an octarian, and they react very badly when callie is like "man you sure must be glad you deserted these guys they suck"

cue callie having to beg bola to come back when they storm off for like 4 days

over the course of the campaign, they have to learn to work together and cooperate and shit, and callie is kinda forced to examine the biases she inherited from capn cuttlefish because she's working with an octoling and they're nothing like she expected

this continues post-campaign where bola cashes in their side of the deal and gets callie to help cause problems for squidforce. this means even more self-reflection for callie since now she's hanging with the Leftovers Squad (bola, flora, CB-808 and bubbles (my agent 8s)) and they're so different from what she's used to

especially since CB and bubbles are actually octarian, now that i think abt it. huh. oh and also cause theyre close with marina

meanwhile, marie is feeling abandoned/betrayed, since from her POV callie has ditched her for a group of people that marie absolutely does Not get along with or fit in with

marie does not get along with bola at all. i love bola but God they're such a bitch. callie gets along with them because she was forced to get along with them by circumstance and has spent a lot of time with them, marie has not and so marie feels like she's been abandoned for someone who hates her guts

bola doesnt even hate her they just dont care. they hate agent three though. fuck that guy

the distance between callie and marie grows and grows until the breaking point; when CB and bubbles get all their mem cakes back and are like "hey why did you cause a famine" and callie is like "we did What" and they all confront three who reveals they knew that their actions in splat1 caused a famine but didn't tell either of the others

callie quits the NSS along with bola (the eights were never really in it to begin with, since they met cuttlefish + 3 after pearl and marina in the metro) but marie, who feels like she's already lost callie and not wanting to lose anymore family, refuses to quit

callie can't really forgive that because holy shit we caused a famine how can you just ignore that so then they sort of become estranged! this is usually the bit where pops yells at me /silly

the squid sisters disband, and callie makes a new moniker! "odd1out" cause it's a combination of agent 1 and the leftovers

im so insane about this

do people wanna know abt the odd1out au

[astaroth1357]

The (Un)Dateables Catch the MC Dancing/Singing By Themselves 

Full disclosure, couldn't think of anything for Luke... Sorry.

Diavolo

There are some human rituals that Diavolo finds just fascinating… One of them being the act of filming yourself dancing to a short clip of music then posting said film to the internet. He hears it's a surprisingly popular human world activity!

So maybe the MC shouldn’t have been AS surprised by his reaction when he walked in on them doing the latest internet dance craze alone in the RAD Student Council room. They have figured that he would scold them for doing something so silly in such an important place… but he actually seemed intrigued!

Actually, scratch that. He was delighted!

Maybe it’s his human world fascination or because Barbatos never lets him have any fun - or maybe he just wanted the chance to be a part of something with the little human - but he insisted that the MC teach him the steps to whatever they were doing so he could join in!

A couple hours later, Levi and Asmo are running around to all their brothers and thrusting a viral video of the MC and the Prince of Hell dancing together on whatever the Devildom version of TikTok is...

And somewhere parallel to that, Lucifer is trying desperately not to choke on his own coffee as Diavolo sends him that same video over chat with the message:

Diavolo: Lucifer! Lucifer!

Diavolo: I think I’ve become a meme! :D

And lo, a new TikTok duo was born.

Barbatos 

Afternoon tea at the Castle is both a very extravagant and yet casual affair. Barbatos always provides the best service and the grandiose setting of the palace give everything an air of splendor, but getting to actually sit and chat with the butler is anything but stiff and formal. 

It’s usually calming more than anything. The kind of activity that shouldn’t feel as relaxed as it is but always somehow turns into a tranquil, dare say familiar, experience. 

So it really should have been expected that the MC would feel comfortable enough to sing a little om--in the garden’s gazebo while they waited for Barbs to brew their tea. They must have thought they were alone… but not really.

Very few things that happen in the castle without Barbs knowing about it. He was bound to walk in on them eventually. 🤷‍♀️

And of course Barbs, being Barbs, left no hint that he was listening until they were pretty much done with the song. All he did was quietly clear his throat from where he had been standing, leaving the MC to wonder if he had been standing there the whole time... (Seriously, this man could be a ninja. He’s so hard to notice sometimes…)

When he brought their cup over to them, he just smiled at their embarrassment and caught their chin between his fingers...

“While I had intended to prepare oolong tea for us tonight, perhaps I should have brought you chamomile instead? I would hate for such a lovely voice to get strained... Should I go fetch us some now?”

Barbatos used Charm! It was Super Effective!... MC fainted…. 😔

Simeon 

Libraries are usually quiet places and the RAD library is no exception. Unless a natural loudmouth like Mammon or Asmo passes through, most of the time it’s dead silent in there. 

Now, the RAD library is also HUGE. If you were to walk from on end to the other, you’d pass by hundreds of shelves of old tomes, spellbooks, novels, scrolls, songbooks… just almost every kind of print in the world. Someone can go in with a friend and, if they weren’t paying attention, lose track of them for an hour at least.

So the MC could honestly be forgiven for thinking that they could sing to themselves without anyone noticing. What were the chances that a demon student would want to go by the Christian fiction section???

Well, though it was true a demon may not want anything to do with the overly Jesus-y stuff, an angel may enjoy poking some lighthearted fun at it. Or at least one angel in particular, anyway.

Poor MC could have gone from singing to screaming when Simeon came up behind them and popped out one of their earbuds! Though he wasn’t particularly sneaky or anything, they just had their back to him and he thought it’d be cute to see them jump… 🙄

That still didn’t stop him from smiling inches from their face like he totally didn’t know exactly what he was doing right then.

“I’m sorry, MC, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Whether or not the MC wanted to complain, they get cut off by a warm, gloved finger pressed against their lips.

“You really shouldn’t be singing in libraries, MC… They’re meant to be quiet places. But if you’d like to sing somewhere else, I’d love to come along! I think your voice is just stunning, if you don’t mind me saying so.” 

Translation: Someone’s looking for a private show... The sly bastard... 😖

Solomon

The MC's first mistake was rummaging through Solomon's things and assuming everything would be fine.

They weren’t doing anything nefarious, they were just looking for a particular spellbook of his, but Solomon keeps his laboratory bedroom at a near constant state of clutter.

They can't really remember how it happened… Maybe their hand brushed a bottle that knocked over a test tube then rolled across a table to hit something else and so on - but as they were searching they found themselves struck with a sudden uncontrollable urge to… dance.

Dance with all their might! Dance like the world was ending!! Dance until they could no longer stand!!! DANCE DAMMIT DANCE!!!

And that's how Solomon found them. Moving and shaking like their life depended on it in the middle of his bedroom… It didn't take him long to work out what happened.

You know that French Dancing Plague? The one that caused a town to dance until they dropped? … Would you believe that he may know a thing or two about how that started? Not ALL of his experiments are successful you know. 

The merciful man would have cured the MC of their affliction on the spot. … But the clever man sees an opportunity. 😏

What's the harm in doing a little dancing when he can have such a lovely partner all to himself, yeah? 😌

And so, he let the plague consume him and danced the night away with the MC in his arms (with the spell needed to the cure the “plague” still totally in his memory, of course).

Meanwhile, it had already begun to spread to Luke and Simeon… then got carried to the House and Demon Lord's Castle… and then to the rest of Devildom as all of Hell's denizens danced for hours utterly mystified by their own actions.

The event would later be known as "The Festival of Madness," Devildom historians to this day still don't know what caused it… (and he's not itching to explain either. Let's let that just stay a little secret between him and MC, cool?)

[itsclydebitches]

May I rant about rwby’s character design in your inbox, please?

I’ve realised that interesting character design has a subtle element that reflects something contradictory about them, i.e. Zagreus looks and dresses like Hades, but his personality is more aligned with Persephone, and we see that through his one green eye. Catra gets a red and black villain outfit, but her freckles and cat features make it easier to endear the audience to her when she’s later redeemed. Arcane’s Jinx has a chaotic grungy-punk aesthetic, but her blue flare tattoos show she’s clinging to her past as Powder and finding Vi.

The thing with RWBY is that while their characters' (early) designs promise depth but the canon doesn’t deliver on that come V4-onwards. Now we’re stuck with designs that theoretically do work (thank god they at least got the colour palettes down), but they’re often misplaced, over-indulgent, impractical and boring.

Feel free, anon! lol

Yeah, I've never been as invested in character design as some other fans, but I definitely had Thoughts™ about the latest looks and whether they do (or do not) tell us anything notable about the characters. For example, something I always liked about Weiss' original outfit was the red lining of her jacket. Not only did it help to break up all the white, but it was a pretty obvious, visual connection to Ruby during an arc when they were learning to get along. Now, we still have that splash of red, but it's on the back of her skirt... meaning it's completely invisible unless you're a) getting a near full-body shot of Weiss and b) that shot is from an angle other than straight on. Meanwhile, her red jewelry is likewise impossible to see unless there's a closeup on her.

Yang has the splash of purple on her leg which many fans read as a connection to Blake, but like Weiss' new use of red it's lost in Yang's overall design. Others have pointed out that she's slowly moved more towards brown than yellow, losing the bright cami she used to wear that created a nice line between her gauntlets. Now, with a shot like this

Yang's pallet is brown, darker brown, pops of orange, darker yellow edging into brown again... and she happens to use a yellow weapon, painting her arm to match. To say nothing of those impractical aspects. In an effort to keep her party girl personality, we have a Yang braving the tundra with an exposed chest and rolled up pant leg, which I personally always thought looked ridiculous.

Blake is purple now instead of black (it's not so much RWBY anymore as it is RBPB: Red, Blue, Purple, Brown)... with massive zippers down the fronts of her legs? And up her front, and over her chest, and down her arms... It's an accessory problem that plagues Weiss as well, with pockets and straps galore. Out of all the girls I think Ruby looks the best by far: sensible clothing for Atlas, has detailing but nothing that's too over the top (even if I'd still strip away some of those buckles), predominant color is red, neutrals to balance it out, and a new white undershirt to pair her with Weiss/tie together Blake's suit and the fur of Yang's jacket.

Meanwhile, the hair is a whole other issue. Jaune's banana locks aside, why is Blake cutting her hair when Weiss is the one whose hair is so recognizable and whose long locks are visually a tie to the other Schnee women, arguably something expected of them while growing up with Jacques? Let her cut it all off in an attempt to distance herself from the girl who used to be trapped here, forging her own look alongside her own destiny. Instead, we get an impossible braid given the hair Weiss had (which still just looks bad imo, even post-Volume 7) and Blake cutting her hair... because? I guess that's what you just do after killing your ex? Idk. I expect they wanted to contrast Blake with Yang there, but who can say.