#meanwhile nine is going to kill his brother

[0vergrowngraveyard]

city boy cant understand a damn thing his pirate brother is saying

[kaytheday]

This idea has been bouncing around my head for the last few days so I thought I'd write it out and see if it's worth anything. I might write it when I have more time but I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts on it. It would be a long fic and it would start two-three yearsish after canon. Anyway... let me know what you think!

It starts when Sodapop gets his draft letter. From there, we get to see all the goodbyes and the heartache. Ponyboy is in college and he starts becoming part of protest groups. During this time in the Vietnam war, college campus protest groups were popping up all over the place. He joins one after meeting this girl in his political science class. Partly because she’s kind of cute and partly because he’s thinking of Soda getting shot at. Meanwhile he's sending letters back-and-forth with his brother anyway. 

As we know in American history, these protests quickly turn violent. For example, the Kent state shootings where four kids were murdered and nine were injured. These kinds of things are happening all over the country. Protests are becoming very violent as fights break out and kids get arrested. Ponyboy keeps going with it, thinking of his brother over in Vietnam. 

The first time he gets arrested is because of a protest. It got rather violent and he was trying to stop a cop from bludgeoning a friend of his to death. They take him down to the station and tell him to cool off in a holding cell. He figures he’ll call Darry in the morning or something because he doesn’t want to bother him. Darry finds out where he is through sheer worry because he never came home. Darry yells at him and stuff and Pony apologizes and promises not to do it again. 

Spoiler alert, he keeps protesting and Darry is always the one picking him up so there's some contention there between those two. Darry is obviously very scared for him and also for the person he is becoming and Pony wants to fight because Soda is still in Vietnam and he feels like it’s the only thing he can do. 

Then Soda dies, he gets shot and killed and that about kills Darry and Ponyboy. Ponyboy goes a little nuts goes a little nuts and Darry doesn’t see him for two weeks. In this time, Ponyboy tries to put together some sort of bombing/very violent protest. It fails and he ends up getting beat half to death and thrown in a jail cell. Darry picks him up from jail and breaks down crying begging Pony to stop throwing his life away. 

Ponyboy nods and smiles and sleeps off whatever acid tablet he popped the night before and gets it in his head that Darry would be better off without him. Realizing he hasn’t been to a single one of his college classes in nearly three or four weeks, he decides to drop out of college and move to New York. He tells Darry his plan and of course there is a full blown argument. 

“You’re just trying to give me what you never had-” and “My future isn’t yours-” Anyway, it ends with Ponyboy storming out and hopping a bus straight to NYC. 

He goes to Woodstock. He takes some acid off some guy and has a really bad trip during Jefferson Airplane's set. Maybe he sees Soda being shot over and over or sits with Johnny while he’s covered in burns. Possibly even seeing those two begging him to save them as they’re covered in blood and burns. Either way, it’s really bad. Some guy drags him to the medical tent where he is taken care of this really nice woman with a child that is three years old. He gets really freaked out by how much the kid looks like Soda. The kid's name? Rainbow Pepsi McGill. He quickly realizes that the woman taking care of him is Sandy. She did have Soda’s kid all those years ago. She never cheated, she just needed to go where Soda couldn’t follow. Maybe they go to lunch and talk about everything and Ponyboy deems it too painful to continue talking to her. Because of all the acid in his system, he keeps getting freaked out because of how much the kid looks like Soda. He ends up running out of the lunch and leaving Sandy alone.

After this, he heads back to NYC, crashing at some drifter friend's house to sleep off whatever happened to him. The next day the friend kicks him out because he wants to spend time with his girlfriend or something like that and Pony is left to wander the city. 

He’s wandering around (not using his head) when he wanders into a black neighborhood. He starts getting weird looks and even a couple of stray comments when he notices what he walked into. Right as he’s about to get beat up a woman runs in and intervenes. Who is it? 

Ace freaking Evans. Because apparently I can't write a story without incorporating her anymore because I love her so much. I literally wrote 60,000 words as a testament to how much I love her. 

Turns out she has been living in NYC since she graduated high school with a couple of girls she met at a church on the corner border of Oklahoma and Missouri. She just got back from none other than the Harlem cultural festival. She looks good in her mini skirts with a big afro and her girl friends surrounding her. She pulls Ponyboy into a tight hug, squeezing the living daylights out of him before promptly smacking the shit out of him.

“You know Darry is worried sick about you!” She yelled at him before he looks up at her meekly and doesn’t say anything. Ace then notices how bad he seems to look and she tells her girlfriends to take a hike before pulling him into some restaurant to cool off. They spend time reconnecting and catching up. They both didn’t know that the other made it out of Tulsa. Ponyboy didn’t think that Ace would take Soda’s death as hard as him but she did. I mean… she basically cuts off contact with the entire gang except for Steve at the point. 

Ponyboy hasn’t talked to Darry in about six months at this point, disappearing off the face of the earth. Darry had been tracking down every hood on the East Side to try and find him because we forget, Darry lost Soda too and he’s struggling. Right now Ponyboy is his only blood family left. Ace knows this, Darry calls her weekly to make sure he hasn’t seen him and also to make sure Ace is doing okay. He misses her a whole hell of a lot, even if she won’t tell him where she is. 

But anyway, Ponyboy stays at Ace’s for the night and she manages to put his head back on straight and get him to call Darry. He finally does, Ponyboy apologizes for arguing and disappearing and immediately Darry wants to see him. From here, it all gets wrapped up really nicely. Maybe Ponyboy goes back to Oklahoma or maybe Darry comes up to NYC. Either way they see each other and everyone can start to heal. 

[elizawritestoo]

pretty when i cry (prologue)

pairing: s1 dean winchester x f!reader

chapter warnings: none

word count: 2.1k

it wasn't the first time you had seen him. the day before you’d seen him and his brother poking their noses around the kellsons' house. it wasn't just their good looks that made them stick out. it wasn't just the beautiful car they pulled up in. and it wasn't just the scene they had made when they tried to lie their way past the police tape.

you had lived in this town for most of your life and as long as you had been alive, nothing as brutal as the kellson incident had happened. there was a hit and run a few years back, but the kellson incident was something much more sinister. each of the family members had been separated and tortured by someone, or something. the father was found in the kitchen, dead from knife wounds that pinned him to the ground. meanwhile the mother and the two children were found alive, but abused and alone in their respective rooms.

dean was the one to tell you this upon your second meeting. the first time you met him had been outside of the kellsons' house, before the police had told him and sam to leave.

"you know the family?" sam had asked, eyes squinting against the sun.

you had nodded and said, "kind of. i babysat their kids a few times back in high school... they were nice kids, only about two or three years old at that time."

you had paused then and dean had noticed. he looked at you, tilting his head as if asking you to continue.

"the family was nice, but that house... i always got this weird feeling there. like there would be someone behind me when i turned around, but there never was. there was just something off, you know? something weird enough i haven't forgotten it."

"how long have they lived here?" sam had asked, looking back at the house while dean was still looking at you.

"they moved in when she was pregnant with the kids, so maybe nine years ago?" you had guessed.

the second time you met dean was at the local library the next morning. you had just come in to return a book when you saw the brothers huddled around one of the public computers. you hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but what you heard from their conversation was fascinating. 

 “they’ve been living there for years, why would this have just started now?” dean had whispered.

“i don’t know. but you heard what that girl said about the house. i’m telling you, there’s something in that house,” sam whispered back.

after that you hadn’t heard any more whispering, so you went back to your task of returning your book. it wasn’t until you were going to leave that you looked back to see what the brothers were doing. 

you noticed they were looking at some old article from your town’s newspaper. you stealthily walked up behind them, attempting to read the title better. you soon realized the article was from 30 some years ago and described a domestic violence incident. 

you must have gotten too caught up reading about the incident to realize how close you had gotten to the two brothers, because when you looked at them again dean was already staring at you. when your eyes met, he smiled. 

“it’s the house?” you had asked, a little flustered.

with that, sam turned towards you as well. he exchanged a look with his brother before turning back to you and nodding slightly. 

“what happened?” 

sam cleared his throat before answering you. “a couple lived in the house before the kellsons. they got into some pretty nasty fights, including one where the police were called because the husband threw every knife in the house at his wife–” he paused. “she killed herself a few weeks later. he moved out, and the house was vacant until the kellsons moved in.”

“so, what, is the house like haunted?” 

sam exchanged another look with dean before replying, “we don’t know.” 

“but it's possible,” said dean. 

“what’s going to happen?” you ask. “the kellsons getting out of the hospital in a few days. what if they go back home and something else happens?” 

“that’s not going to happen,” dean said assuredly. 

when you then volunteered your help, you hadn’t known what exactly you were getting yourself into. you had figured out that the abusive husband had died last week and been laid to rest next to his wife’s grave. sam had guessed that this was the reason why her spirit had become so angry over the past few days. only a few hours later, there you were, standing outside of the kellsons’ dark home, waiting for dean and sam in the unseasonably cool air. 

you heard something and looked over to see dean’s car approaching with sam in the passenger seat. the car slowed to a stop in front of the kellson house and the two hopped out, small bags with an assortment of salts and herbs in tow. 

“what are those for?” you asked, gesturing to the bags. 

“repelling the spirit, essentially forcing it out of the house,” sam replied. 

you nodded. “so what do you need me to do?”

sam looked to dean, who cleared his throat and said, “maybe you should wait out here. it could be dangerous in there.”

you stared at him for a moment before speaking. “you two have never even been in that house. i don’t need to just stand out here for emotional support, i can help… i want to help.” 

dean looked at you for a long moment. he then turned to sam and gave him his allotment of salt and herbs, directing him to take the second floor of the house. he turned back to you. 

“take this,” dean took your hand as he spoke, placing a bag of salt in your palm. “you’re going to put this in the front two corners of the house. do it quickly and as soon as you’re done, get out.” he raised his brows, as if he was awaiting your answer. you nodded quickly. “i’ll take the back corners. if you see anything, if you feel anything off, let me know.” you nodded again. 

he motioned for you to lead the way towards the house, so you started walking. the house was dark, not just physically but the energy as well. the air inside was heavy and cold, eerily silent aside for the sound of sam upstairs. you turned right at the front door, going towards the spare room in the far east corner of the house. it used to be the kids’ playroom. 

you did as dean had instructed you, quickly carving out a chunk of drywall in order to stuff the salt and herbs inside. you were able to do this easily before hearing the sharp sound of glass breaking. you turned around with a start and stood perfectly still, not even taking a breath. your eyes searched the room until you saw that a picture had fallen off a table nearby. you strained your eyes to make out what the photo was. you realized it was a picture from the kellsons’ wedding day, now shattered on the floor. 

as soon as you realized this, there was another crash. this time a family photo from the opposite wall crashed to the floor. the sound was enough to get you moving as you quickly grabbed your other bag of salt and herbs and began running to the other end of the house. 

as you passed the staircase you heard some clatter from upstairs. you had stumbled and turned to looks up the stairs, not noticing when you bumped into dean, who grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you.

“you ok?” he asked quickly.

“yeah, i’m fine,” you breathed. 

hearing another sound from upstairs, dean released you and began going up the stairs. “do the other corner, then get out,” he called as he bounded up to his brother. 

you nodded to yourself and then began speed walking to the corner again. you, having abandoned your shovel at the other corner, grabbed a candlestick off the dining table and began hammering into the wall. as you did, a chair behind you slid across the room, banging into the wall beside you. this only enticed you to work quicker, ripping into the walls with your fingers and shoving the bag into the space. 

fueled by adrenaline, you jumped up and ran for the door. unfortunately the spirit had different ideas as it sent a chair directly in your path, causing you to trip and fall to the ground. you scrambled to your knees as another chair began moving towards you, seemingly planning on pushing you through the window. 

luckily, in the commotion you had missed the fact that dean had come running down the stairs, sam only a few paces behind. dean was able to grab your arms and pull you out of the way of the possessed chair. you kicked until your feet found the ground and began running out of the house, following closely by dean. 

you kept running until you reached the street, not wanting to look back even after you heard the door shut. 

“dean!” 

you heard sam yell, so you turned and realized that you had been too focused on catching your breath to realize dean wasn’t behind you. sam was already running back towards the house so you followed suit. sam arrived at the front door before you did and tried to open it but it was stuck. even through sam’s banging, you could hear crashes coming from inside the house. as sam tried to kick in the door, you looked around for a rock or something to break in with. 

as you were looking, you remembered that the house had a side door to the kitchen around back, so you grabbed sam’s arm and gestured to go around back. 

once you came around to the side door, you could see dean hiding behind an overturned table as various objects were being hurled towards him. sam was able to break the door in as dean pushed the table forward towards the last corner that needed to be cleansed. 

 “dean!” sam said, moving towards his brother, while you stayed close on his heels. 

“sam, finish it,” dean yelled back, tossing his brother the last bag of salt and herbs. sam turned and went to work putting the last bag in, as dean struggled to get up behind the overturned table. 

“dean? come on,” you whispered as you helped dean up and out of the debris left in the kitchen. once he was up, he was able to move better, getting you to the side door before a cookbook was thrown where you had been standing. 

“sam?” dean yelled.

“yeah, yeah, i got it,” sam replied, turning around and heading for the side door as the house began to shake. dean nearly lifted you out of the house as you three ran from the side door back to the front yard. 

the windows released a strange glow as a strangled cry came from the house. you could feel the energy shift even from the street as the air became lighter. the glow faded, the shaked ceased. everything settled. 

you took a deep breath to calm your heart rate. the brothers did the same. as you went to run a hand over your face, you realized you were still clutching dean’s arm, which you promptly released. 

“so, is it over now?” you asked quietly, eyes focused on the house that now looked like any other house. 

“i think so,” sam said. 

you nodded quietly, still taking deep breaths to calm yourself down. you didn’t really know what to do then, but you knew you wanted to help these two in any way you could. 

“do you guys need a place to stay? i have a spare bedroom and a couch,” you offered, somewhat abruptly. 

sam and dean exchanged looks. both were quiet for a moment before sam spoke up. 

“no, thank you. we have a motel room over at the sun motel.”

you gave them both a skeptical look. “are you sure? the sun isn’t exactly the ritz. and besides you two deserve a nice place to stay. it would really be no trouble. you may even get a hot meal out of it.” 

this time, dean answers. 

“you know, a hot meal sounds nice,” he says with a smile. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chapter 1

note: eek and we're off!! this is my first fic ever and tbh idk if i like how this chapter turned out, but boy am i excited for the rest of this series!!! pls check out the masterlist for this series if you want to read about my plans for it :)))))))

[smiley-mcdoggington]

im in agony over your last post because I can’t stop thinking about how, when ford comes back, he will stare at Stanley’s older, wrinkled face and it will be the first time he gets to see an older Stanley and it will be HIS Stanley …. but by that time, how may times will he have fallen in love with another version of his brother’s face? Meanwhile Stanley will be looking at his twins face that he will have only been able to see in the mirror for the past 30 years. I AM SICK!!!!! im sorry this probably doesn’t make any sense but i really need you to know that i am genuinely in tears and gagging over this au. your brain is both beautiful but also kind of evil.

Ehehehehehehehe

1 thing kinda for context I have ideas for all the stans Ford loved before, and while he did love them and does mourn them his relationships were built on the foundation that he cannot get to his own Stan and they cannot get to their own Ford but they can get to eachother and if they squint its almost the same, it's close enough.

First live Stan he meets seven months after the junkyard: Stan calls himself a pirate but he and his crew (run by ghost Jimmy Snakes) are more like ship scrappers, everyone's got at least a little mechanical know-how, they find dead ships and salvage what they can. They stick together because they're all homeless wanderers that can't get home, but in Ford's perspective they're intimidating - other than Stan. Their Stan seems put together, like he knows what he's doing, but they're the same age and Stan's only been out of his dimension 3 weeks longer. They both project the twin they lost onto the other and are in a sexual plus a bit of cuddling relationship for a while. Ford is fond of him, Stan's the only reason Ford was allowed to join the crew instead of getting shot for stealing from them, and this Stan looks healthier, had a similar experience with Bill in the junkyard, and Ford feels like he can relax around him. Then they find a trap ship, one that looks dead but is just waiting for scrappers to connect their ships to kill the crew and take both ships. Stan was trying to negotiate because he was a stupid 26 year old with a gun to his head but then someone grabbed Ford and Stan got himself shot trying to get to him.

The next Stan Ford meets and has more than a one night stand with is nine years after that, a whole decade since the junkyard. The Stan is a decade younger than him, blind and feverish and and won't let anyone touch him until he has a six-fingered hand in his. That one wasn't a dimensional traveller, he was just dealing with Rico and Ford happened to be in the dimension and wanted a few chemicals from Rico to test as bill-destroying material that happened to be very illegal. He found Stan seizing in a hotel room and Ford decided he was only going to stay until Stan was alright. But Stan took to the bare minimum like a stray dog, doing what Ford wanted, begging him to stay, promising him he'll be better this time around. Ford can't stay, doesn't want to take away this Stan with a perfectly good Ford already so he dragged Stan up to Oregon to try to shove at his brother. But Ford opens the door with a crossbow and Stan gets shot in the neck and Ford beats the other Ford to death in his entryway. Ford had hoped that Stan's being pushed through the portals by Fords were almost always accidents and Ford's would never hurt Stans because He would never hurt Stan (not again) but no, this just proves him and all Fords are a disease. He leaves the dimension quickly after that.

The third Stan he met 25 years after Ford fell through the portal and it was in the junkyard. Ford had gone there with a plan to die trying to kill Bill, it was a bad few years before then and Ford had most of his gun working, enough it might injure Bill. But before he could find him, he looked in a sea of bodies and one looked back. He immediately quit his suicide mission, grabbed the half-frozen Stan and took him somewhere safe. Stan asked why Ford hated him, Ford said Fords never hated Stans, because Stan couldn't prove him wrong. Ford tried to leave him behind a few times, but Stan was determined, he did more and more reckless things trying to follow Ford until Ford just let him follow because maybe he would stop almost dying to try to keep up if Ford made it easier. Ford was old enough to be his dad, he was old enough to be all the multiverse Stanleys' dads at this point, but when Stan tried sleeping with him, Ford went along with it. It was mostly just sex and company, he didn't notice Stan was fawning because he was new and terrified. Didn't notice Stan only seemed to come onto him when he was in a bad mood and needed the distraction. Didn't notice Stan did whatever Ford wanted and shrank whenever Ford raised his voice. Eventually Ford did figure it out, and he was so horrified with himself he dropped Stan off with some interdimensional refugees and left as fast as possible. A month later he tried to visit to apologize properly, but Stan was gone, put a gun in his mouth the week before, his ashes were already space dust. Ford resolved himself to never take advantage of a Stan again. His last 5 years mostly celibate though made him cranky and more determined to finish his gun.

Then he had Bill in his crosshairs, and his Stanley decided to open the portal, and he came through the portal mad, he really did. But then he saw his brother with gray hair and crows feet - his brother, his Stanley, the one he'd spent 30 years wondering about, the one he was almost certain would be dead long before he could get gray hair just like every other Stan. His Stanley looked so happy to see him, arms outstretched and a huge smile on his face and Ford fell into his arms because he was so so happy. But after that he grew distant because every time Ford got close, every time Ford tried to do what was best for Stanley, every time Ford trusted Stanley, Stanley died.

[antialiasis]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: all of my thoughts (part 2)

Once again, this is me watching my way through The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) and commenting on everything that comes to mind as I go. Where we last left off in part 1, Blondie and Tuco had just each learned half of the secret to a the location of a cache of Confederate gold, forcing two men in a thoroughly adversarial relationship to collaborate. This time, we get to see the two of them begin to bond, in the most delightful, complicated, bonkers sort of way.

The checkpoint

Another Extended Cut scene. Sad Hill Media's blog post on the Extended Cut scenes suggests the only conceivable purpose of this scene is to establish Tuco wants to go to the San Antonio monastery and that it's entirely needless because we can just figure he knew it was nearby. I do think there's a little more to it than that: this checkpoint is presumably why Tuco and Blondie actually dress up in Confederate uniforms, which is otherwise a pretty random thing for them to do (and is an important plot point a couple scenes later); it's where Tuco presumably gets the idea of actually pretending to be Bill Carson (without this scene, he's just using Carson's eyepatch randomly when they get to the monastery for unclear reasons); and more specifically it establishes that Tuco knew the monastery existed but was kind of surprised to learn they were in the vicinity of it, which adds some context to why Tuco hasn't visited his brother before in those nine years -- he hasn't been in the area before, just vaguely knew of it being near Apache Canyon. But it is undeniably a very functional sort of scene with not a lot else going on, other than Tuco's amusing assertion that "If I were a Yankee you wouldn't have time to ask me that!" to a whole encampment of Confederate soldiers, as if he'd have just taken them all out single-handedly.

Speaking of dressing up in Confederate uniforms, either Blondie was conscious enough at some point to change into the uniform or Tuco dressed his unconscious self in it to sell that he's a dying soldier to these guys. I suspect the latter.

The monastery

Tuco asks for his brother right at the start, but unknown to Tuco he's already gone to visit their dying father. Big, painful dramatic irony there on a rewatch.

Once again, we have wounded soldiers, many with lost limbs, filling up the monastery -- and once again it is a mere backdrop to our protagonists.

Tuco of course acts like Blondie is a very dear friend, like a brother to him, specifically when the monks are within earshot and then immediately drops it when they aren't. What a guy.

(He asks frantically if Blondie has said anything -- mainly thinking of if he said anything about the name on the grave, of course, but also, Blondie could theoretically tell them any number of things about Tuco that might get him kicked out of there.)

Meanwhile, even though nobody's looking (he checks!), Tuco gets down on his knees to pray. Totally sincere in his religion, praying that God will let this man live so Tuco can have his $200,000. I love this fascinating plot-irrelevant character trait.

Once the priest has told him Blondie will recover, he's thinking for a bit about next steps before he goes into the room. Everything would be easiest if he could just get Blondie to tell him what the name on the grave was, and then he can just kill him, or at least ditch him -- he's not too keen on actually having to haul Blondie around to find the treasure, after all.

Tuco starts off by telling Blondie, "The old father tells me you'll be up and around in a few days!" and then this hilarious thing of "You were very lucky to have me so close when it happened!" Ah, yes, when "it happened", this mysterious thing that caused Blondie to nearly die in the desert, how lucky that Tuco just happened to be there. Clearly this is going to work on Blondie himself. (Maybe Tuco could be banking on the possibility Blondie might not have a clear memory of the whole thing, but honestly it's perfectly in character to do this nonsense either way, because Tuco is Tuco.)

He goes on with this approach about how they're all alone in the world and have only got each other, suggesting he doesn't have any family. This is of course a blatant lie, as we'll learn in a bit -- Tuco believes he still has both parents and a brother, even if he hasn't seen them in a long time -- but right now it seems convenient to pretend he has absolutely nothing and no one, in case it will help him earn Blondie's sympathy and trust, so all alone in the world it is.

But then he changes tack again! Come to think of it, maybe it'd be easier to convince him to tell if he thought he was dying. So nah, now he's sad, devastated, that Blondie's dying and it's all his fault. :'((( (He looks around first to make sure none of the monks are around to contradict this, but he already contradicted it when he himself told Blondie just earlier that he'd be up and around in a few days. Tuco just does not keep track of his lies, at all.)

Love the shot where he's looking through his fingers, trying to gauge if this is working at all, and then turns it into wiping the definitely real tears from his eyes. He's trying so hard.

In Blondie's place, he would tell about the gold! (He would not tell about the gold.)

If he gets his hands on the $200,000, he'll always honor Blondie's memory! (He will not.)

Oh, Tuco, totally buying it when Blondie beckons him closer only to get coffee in his face because of course. The combination of absolute unrepentant lying and swindling and naïveté is so endearing, in a terrible way.

Blondie is so smug about "I'll sleep better knowing my good friend is by my side to protect me" while Tuco is pointing a gun at him (upside-down) and it's great. Tuco having him at gunpoint is simply not a threat anymore, because Tuco now wants him to live more than anything! He will protect him! Just in his best interests that Blondie survives!

(And the funny thing is Blondie can probably entirely legitimately sleep a little better with someone else actively invested in his survival than he normally does as a lone wolf drifter, even though the guy actively invested in his survival now also happens to hate his guts. We see him later being a very light sleeper who keeps his hand on his gun, suggesting he's kind of used to expecting someone might attempt to kill him in his sleep; Tuco would never let anyone kill him in his sleep, not while he's the only one who knows the name on the grave.)

Notably, Blondie isn't angry in this scene, as much as he has every right to be when Tuco's being an absolutely shameless little shit about trying to manipulate him, after a lengthy bout of straight-up torture. Instead, Blondie seems more amused by his utter ridiculousness, now that Tuco is harmless and in fact warpedly helpful to him. He's enjoying every minute of the reversal of fortunes here, and in the process Tuco's Tuco-ness has just become kind of entertaining. This is an important little development for how their relationship evolves from here.

After the non-obvious timeskip, Tuco's fetching water for Blondie, grumbling all the while about if I get that name from you I'll give you water, and calls him a dirty skunk, kicking his foot -- notably, not keeping up the pretense of being his friend even a little bit unless the monks are around anymore. Presumably, in the time we skipped over, they've had some talks about how they'll proceed -- Blondie naturally not even considering telling Tuco the name but agreeing to accompany him so they can find the treasure together, Tuco reluctantly figuring yeah, fine, they'll do that, but he doesn't have to be happy about it. He feels free to be an ass to Blondie, even though he can't lose him, because Blondie also needs him to get the money, and at least to Tuco it's unthinkable he would just skip out on $200,000, so it probably has not crossed his mind at all that Blondie could just decide once again to ditch him if he got fed up with him.

Most of the analyses I've read on this movie emphasize that all three main characters are motivated by greed in their pursuit of the gold. But Blondie has never actually felt all that invested in the gold per se to me. Throughout the movie he's mostly being pulled along on this treasure quest by either Tuco or Angel Eyes; I don't think he ever even mentions the gold in any context that's not about how it's something the others desire, and he doesn't take much of any active action to facilitate finding it, other than being along for the ride as the quiet inevitable kingmaker. Instead, whenever it's actually Blondie's choices driving what's happening (which isn't too often, mind; he spends a lot of time quietly going along with the others and biding his time), his motivations are distinctly about something else, as far as I can tell. My overall read on him is that his chief priority is his own survival, and while the treasure hunt has his interest piqued it's almost more for the interesting puzzle of how he's going to come out on top at the end of this than out of desire for the money, though the money certainly doesn't hurt. I think I read something somewhere about the never-produced sequel proposal involving Blondie having given his share of the gold to the monastery, and honestly, I don't know if that's true or if I'm remembering right what I read, but that checks out to me.

At any rate, what I'm saying is I think Blondie is not so invested in the gold that he has to stick with Tuco for it, the way Tuco has to stick with Blondie; Blondie has all the leverage and is enjoying it, and he almost certainly did give some thought to whether he should just try to get out of there if he gets the chance. But ditching Tuco would inevitably mean Tuco just comes to track him back down again, even more fiercely, after already finding him once -- and Blondie is almost certainly already sketching out a plan for when they've reached the cemetery. Tuco is probably planning to try to kill him as soon as he shows him the grave, after all, and Blondie is going to have to make sure he's fully in control of the situation before he reveals anything. And then he's going to make Tuco put his head in a noose.

Tuco mentions the wounded are just pouring into the monastery so they'd better get the hell out of here -- that war sure is still intensifying in the background, and the main characters still want no part of it!

Blondie silently hands Tuco his still-lit cigar here just as Tuco's been insulting him; Tuco just drops it on the floor and steps on it, not keen on sharing. Again, we see how Blondie, when he has this leverage, is completely unruffled by Tuco's toothless hostility, and in fact is just having fun being friendly in an ironic sort of way in return, knowing this annoys Tuco. This is a very fun little contrast to a little later, when Blondie gives him a cigar with a more genuine sense of sympathy, and Tuco actually accepts it. I didn't actually even notice this bit for the longest time, but yes, good.

When Tuco learns Pablo is back, he just tells Blondie that This is something I have to look into, not wanting to tell him anything about his family -- though of course, it wouldn't be hard to guess that "Father Ramirez" is related to Tuco Ramirez. And while Blondie probably does muse on how he could just go out and grab the wagon that's already ready to go (though he would probably ultimately dismiss that either way as discussed above), he must be curious -- and also realize that understanding more about how Tuco ticks might be useful later.

This whole sequence is quite funny, showing off a lot of Tuco being Tuco, while we get a good look at the fundamentally changed dynamic between Tuco and Blondie now that Tuco needs Blondie alive. So far, it looks like Blondie having great fun rubbing in the leverage that he has, completely and unshakably confident that Tuco won't touch him now, while once Tuco understands he's not about to convince Blondie to give up the name, he's nakedly hostile -- but Blondie just finds his hostility amusing now that it doesn't actually represent a threat. We don't spend a whole lot of time on this stage of the dynamic, but it's still pretty important that this is where it has resolved to at this point.

Tuco and Pablo

Tuco is initially obviously wary and nervous about approaching Pablo but then puts on a cheerful smile before he says anything. He probably knows Pablo might not be super happy to see him, but he's going to live in his best world and doggedly pretend this is a normal cheerful family reunion.

Initially the smile falters when Pablo turns around without acknowledging him, but he forces it back up again. "Don't you recognize me? It's me, Tuco!" Surely it's just because he didn't recognize him with the eyepatch, right?

He goes in for a hug. Pablo folds his arms. Tuco decides this is totally just because maybe that's not appropriate with a monk - "I don't know the right thing!" he says before getting down on his knees and kissing the knot of his rope instead. It is Definitely Not that Pablo just does not want to hug him, nope.

Pablo's fed-up eyeroll on "I wonder if my brother remembers his brother" is very good. I can't believe these actors were each speaking a language the other didn't understand and just waiting for the other to pause to say their next line (Eli Wallach brings this up specifically as a really tough scene because of this). Talk about acting with a handicap. I take every hat off for how well they absolutely pulled it off -- this is honestly one of the best scenes in the movie.

"Did I do wrong?" he asks, like he's almost considering whether maybe Pablo thinks it was wrong of him to come here, but then nah, it doesn't matter! He's very happy!

"You have seen me, Tuco." Ouch. Implied, so goodbye. Tuco chooses not to take it that way!

All in all, Tuco's face for this whole thing is great, the genuine awkward reactions always dissolving into undaunted cheerful smiles as he keeps going, insistently trying to make this interaction normal. Eli Wallach is so good.

Pablo just stares him up and down after "I'm very glad I came!" "Oh, my uniform! It's a long story!" Yup, definitely just wondering about the uniform.

Tuco's trying so, so hard to bring back some long-lost brotherly dynamic that they used to have, sometime. "Let's talk about you, it's more important! You look well! A little thin, perhaps, but you were always thin, eh, Pablito?"

And then he asks about their parents. "Only now do you think of them." Pablo's so cold about it -- even though really Tuco hasn't mentioned them until now because he's been trying so hard to connect with Pablo! This is probably part of why Pablo's been so cold for this whole conversation; it's got to sting extra hard for him that Tuco's there playing up this cheerfulness when both their parents are now dead and he wasn't there.

Tuco is still trying hard to salvage this and be cheerful about it after Pablo tells him it's been nine years and it aches. Nine years! How time flies, ha-ha!

Instead Pablo tells him their mother's been dead for a long time, and also Tuco only just missed the death of his father, who had specifically asked for him. I'm pretty sure the implication is they've been at the monastery longer than the few days since his father's death, so theoretically he could probably have made it, if he'd known. Instead he's been here, grumbling about having to fetch things for Blondie. Oof.

Finally Tuco's resolve to be cheerful and normal about this is broken. I like how we don't really see him cry, just him turning away at the wall and the slight movement of his shoulder and tensing in his neck and the sound of his breathing. Any open display of emotion from Tuco would come across as pretty suspect, but it's precisely the fact he's hiding his reaction that drives home that it's 100% real.

When he finally turns away from the wall, it's to tell Pablo, voice cracking, that he didn't just have one wife, he had lots. He can find them wherever! He's doing great! (Normal people who are doing great definitely have lots of different wives they've run off from.)

He dares Pablo to preach him a sermon about it, but Pablo doesn't take the bait. Tuco wants to hear him do his usual thing of judging and condemning him so he can throw it back in his face right now.

Instead, Pablo goes, "The Lord have mercy on your soul," and Tuco responds that while he's waiting for the Lord to remember him he'll tell him something. Another great little bit that's effective because we've seen him being sincerely religious in his own Tuco sort of way, but of course really this extremely down-on-his-luck bandit feels pretty forgotten by God, even if he's only properly voicing it when he's just learned both his parents died in his absence.

In response to being judged and disdained for his (genuinely bad) choices all the time, Tuco has built up this whole defensive self-image of how really he took the harder path and Pablo's just a coward, and I love that a lot.

Pablo left to become a priest, while ten-or-twelve-year-old Tuco was left alone with his parents; the way he emphasizes that he stayed suggests that he felt he was there for them where Pablo had simply abandoned them. And yet, "I tried, but it was no good." The banditry probably originated out of desperation as a way to earn money to support his parents, or at least support himself without burdening them. And yet he ended up alienated from all of them as a result (of course he did, he's a wanted criminal). Oof.

Kind of fun how these two brothers hitting each other in the heat of the moment are actually possibly the most convincing physical strikes in the movie.

We only see Blondie watching now; we don't know exactly how long he was watching or how much he saw, whether he heard Tuco's whole backstory. But he definitely saw them come to blows, which is the really important bit about him watching.

The way Tuco helps Pablo up and then immediately turns away before Pablo can say anything more or make eye contact is a really good, painful acting choice.

Pablo saying his name, and Tuco stopping for a moment, starting to turn around, and then tossing his hand behind him and leaving anyway is also a really good, painful choice. They almost got to have what might have been a more reconciliatory conversation (Pablo says, "Please forgive me, brother," after he's gone), but Tuco was just expecting more judgement and hostility and decided not to bother.

This scene is so good. Tuco was already the most colorful character in this movie, but there's a huge amount of depth added via this conversation with Pablo -- not just some token effort in the form of the fact his parents are dead and he's sad about it, or the explicit exposition about him growing up in poverty and becoming a bandit because the only ways out were banditry or the priesthood, but all the little nuances and implications and Eli Wallach's performance of it all. Tuco's insistent way of looking for alternative explanations for Pablo's coldness at the start; his dogged, desperate efforts to lighten the mood; the particular genuineness of his reaction to the news about his parents and the way he then deflects all those feelings into anger at Pablo and at God; the painful, painful way that they part. It's such excellent character work, and it makes Tuco really, properly sympathetic, where he's been serving a pretty villainous role so far.

Nothing like a good cigar

Tuco silently joins Blondie on the wagon, obviously in a pretty sour mood, and Blondie doesn't say anything either as they set off. I expect at this point Blondie is fully intending to just not comment on what he saw. (Tuco, of course, doesn't realize he saw anything at all.)

But after a moment, Tuco decides to live in his best world. His brother is so great! He was just having soup with him! He never wants Tuco to leave when he visits! Earlier he expressly didn't want to let Blondie know he was going to see his brother, but now he says casually that oh yeah, his brother's the one in charge there, like he just sort of happened not to mention it before. His brother's very important and also crazy about him, and the great thing about having him is he'll always be there for him to give him a bowl of soup if he needs it. This is definitely what actually happened and not a bald-faced lie-slash-fantasy in which Tuco's fine and loved and appreciated and has a robust support network. (This lie, of course, very directly contradicts Tuco's previous lie to Blondie about how he's all alone in this world. He's so consistently shameless about not being remotely consistent with his own lies.)

(And, notably, the way Tuco's treating Blondie has abruptly shifted, too, even though no one's watching -- he's just having a casual chat, smiling, lightly bumping his shoulder at "Bring your friend, too!" Tuco is feeling shunned and rejected and needs a friend right now, and Blondie's the one guy he's got, who has been acting basically friendly to him, not returning his hostility -- so Tuco's just choosing to at least for a moment live in the world where yeah, sure, they're the best of friends and always have been.)

We may not know exactly how much Blondie heard, but he knows at minimum that actually they were not having soup, that Tuco's brother slapped him, and that he punched him in return. So he knows exactly how bullshit all of this is. And yet, he actually has a little smile at it and chooses not to contradict him, but instead to actively play along with the lie by telling him, "Well, after a meal, there's nothing like a good cigar." (There was no meal, after all, and Blondie knows it; he could have offered him a cigar without actively playing along with that bit, but he specifically chooses to do so.) In spite of all Tuco has done, Blondie hears his pathetic bullshitting about his brother and it actually endears him to him, makes him human.

It's very possible he heard more of Tuco's backstory, too, and perhaps developed some sympathy for him based on that, the way we have -- but the particular reaction he's having right now, the smile and the cigar, is a reaction to Tuco telling him this. It's such a blatant, pointless, specific lie, delivered with such a bizarre change of attitude, and all by itself it says so much about Tuco: that he craves positive relationships he doesn't have, that he was hurt enough by this encounter he doesn't want to admit or sit with how it really went, that he uses lying as a coping mechanism, that he lies to himself too, that ultimately he loves his brother and would rather talk him up and lie that they're tight than just complain about him, that he really needs a friend right now and Blondie is all he's got so he's just discarding the hostility to do this. It's pretty sad, and it really is very endearing. Look at this miserable little man and his pathetic, absurd ways of coping.

And the reason this works is Blondie was already honestly a little endeared to Tuco, in a strange way. Tuco had stopped representing a threat, and his Tuco-ness had become entertaining -- initially because Blondie was just having fun rubbing it in and watching him flail in his unique way. But it's not that far from there to seeing his humanity, and this bit of more obviously desperate Tuco-ness will do it. Tuco still tortured him, and Blondie has not and cannot forget that -- but alongside it he's starting to get him, a little bit, and it makes him sympathize with him.

(Blondie doesn't look at him while offering the cigar, though. Not getting too sentimental about it.)

Tuco looks at him for a long moment after taking the cigar, perhaps realizing Blondie might have seen or heard something (even Tuco suspects it's not that he just genuinely bought all that and wants to give him his cigar because it's good after a meal; this looks suspiciously like a gesture of sympathy). But then he just puts it in his mouth, and shares another brief look with Blondie, and then we can see this great progression on his face as he actively psyches himself up into one of his normal grins (love Eli Wallach so much, what a great actor who makes this film), just as we shift from the somber Father Ramirez music back to the upbeat main theme. Tuco is fine! Blondie is living in Tuco's best world where they're friends too! Everything is great!

This is another great, fascinating little character interaction. Tuco has a great need to create his own reality and act fine at all times (unless acting otherwise serves some other goal he has, of course), because actually his life kind of sucks, and lying and pretending, to himself and others, is just how he copes with everything. He didn't need to say anything to Blondie at all -- he didn't ask what Tuco was up to in there and wouldn't have asked -- but it just makes himself feel better about it to go rewrite reality into what he wants it to be and then affirm it by telling somebody else about it and acting like they're totally friends. And out of it comes this weirdly cute little bonding moment where Blondie's beginning to understand Tuco, and feel kind of sorry for him, despite everything. I love them.

The map

One more brief Italian/Extended Cut bit. Tuco's reading the map, looking at where they're going; Blondie asks about where they're headed, and Tuco catches himself and tells him he'll tell him when they get there. Dead soldiers are lying around; Blondie notes they're not worried about anything anymore and asks again about where they're going because they might get caught up in the war as they go on. Tuco, defensive, says they're going towards $200,000.

This mostly serves as the first ambiguous sign that Blondie has some sympathy for the dying soldiers, even though he's mentioning them briefly in the service of making a different point, while showing Tuco's still wary of telling Blondie anything that would render him unnecessary, afraid that then Blondie would just kill or ditch him and go for the gold himself. It's not a very important moment and the film wouldn't lose much without it, though I don't think I agree with the idea that Blondie's expressed sympathy for the soldiers here is too much for where we're at -- it's not exactly an outpouring of sentiment, just an observation about why the situation is dangerous that happens to involve him noticing the dead soldiers, and it certainly worked as a part of his character progression for me, though I also think it would work without it, with the prison camp being the first thing to spark his sympathy.

The one thing Blondie does do in the movie that sort of seems like he's invested in claiming the gold for himself is these intermittent moments where he asks Tuco about where they're going. But I'm not sure that's actually what's going on in these moments either. They're very casual and understated and, especially as the movie goes on, grow to feel more like he's trying to catch him out for his own amusement than any serious hope that it will work. And in the end, when Tuco does tell him the name of the cemetery, Blondie then does not in fact ditch or kill him to get the gold first, even though he easily could have. So all in all, it doesn't actually sound like he really hoped to learn the name of the cemetery so he could go find the gold himself without Tuco, even though Tuco obviously fears that.

So I think his stated reason for asking at this point is basically genuine. He's agreed to accompany Tuco, but they could be about to get themselves into danger, and it really might be less dangerous if they both know where they're headed. It's very understandable why Tuco won't, though -- Blondie's not telling Tuco anything for the same reason, after all -- so ultimately he can't insist too hard.

How do you do fellow Confederates

When Tuco spots troops he wakes up Blondie and is preparing to just take off his uniform immediately -- it's Blondie who asks if they're blue or gray (Tuco looks at his own uniform for a moment like he needs to double-check which arbitrary uniforms they have again before he looks off at the soldiers, enjoy that), and that's when Tuco figures well, okay, they're gray so I guess we don't need to. In other words, this is actually Blondie's fault, inadvertently; Tuco by default would have played it safe and gone with being civilians. (Though obviously Tuco's ridiculous over-the-top yelling did not help.)

"God's not on our side, 'cause he hates idiots also." Blondie is calling them collectively idiots. Blondie is a very smart guy but I enjoy how willing he is to include himself in that.

All in all, this silly scene is great because it's hilarious, but also just very fun about how utterly arbitrary the Civil War is to the main characters. It's just blue versus gray, yell out support for whichever color they're looking at while unclear on what the generals' names even are, whatever. Tuco obviously doesn't really know or care what the whole thing is about at all. Blondie is probably a little more familiar -- at least he knows what the generals are called -- but still only really invested in keeping himself out of it.

Of course, they sure do get caught up in it anyway. Off to prison camp!

Batterville

Time for the war to start to get a lot more prominent!

The wide shot of the camp as they're marched in shows gallows in the background, just where the framing draws the eye, with a man still hanging from a noose. We don't see any executions happening at the camp but we're sure incidentally shown that those also happen.

Love that moment of Wallace reading out "Bill Carson" and Angel Eyes turning around to reveal his face. We had no idea he'd be here, but the moment he shows up, it's what we've been waiting for all this time, and then he goes on to deliver by being magnificently striking in the whole camp sequence. Angel Eyes is somewhat underused in the movie overall, in terms of screentime and development, but half of the bits he does feature in just go so hard.

Kind of insane that he's a Union sergeant now; presumably he got promoted quickly for being amazingly competent, I guess (and I suppose once again it's very hard to actually get a grasp on the timespans involved).

Tuco, again, clearly has a bit of ambiguous history with Angel Eyes, compared to how Blondie and Angel Eyes are only really indicated to know of each other. I kind of enjoy that the movie doesn't get into exactly how any of these guys know each other at all and just leaves it up to implication and the viewer's imagination.

Tuco doesn't seem to have noticed and pointed out Angel Eyes until after he's turned around, so they probably have no reason to think Angel Eyes knows anything about Bill Carson. So when Blondie then suggests Tuco be Bill Carson, I think what he's thinking is that the guards are trying to identify who the prisoners are for purposes of arranging prisoner exchanges later, and that their best shot at getting out of here is to be identified as actual soldiers that might be exchanged -- obviously the Confederacy is hardly going to actually choose to exchange prisoners for people who were not actually soldiers. Bill Carson is the one name they know that's definitely not going to turn out to be somebody else present (and Tuco's already wearing his eyepatch while Blondie could never pass for him if there were any kind of physical description involved), so Tuco had better pretend to be him, and Blondie will cross his fingers for a different name coming up on the manifest later that no one else responds to that he can assume.

The other possibility for what's going on here, though, is that they do catch Angel Eyes reacting to Bill Carson specifically, and Blondie is gambling that Angel Eyes taking an interest could be a ticket out of here for both of them. That's a very interesting possibility, but I can't get it to make quite as much sense -- surely, if Blondie knows anything about Angel Eyes, he would probably know that being somebody Angel Eyes is looking for is probably a bad thing, and if he and Tuco know each other, then Angel Eyes presumably knows Tuco is not actually the Bill Carson he's looking for, so pretending to be Bill Carson doesn't seem like a super productive idea in that case. I can still see it being the intended reading, though -- notably, Blondie doesn't actually suggest Tuco be Bill Carson until after Tuco points out Angel Eyes even though Wallace had read out the name several times, which is the main evidence in favor of this, but that could also just be due to taking a moment to think and evaluate.

Either way, we cut briefly to Angel Eyes smirking at Wallace punching Tuco in the stomach for not saying "Present." Whatever sympathy he might have had for the soldiers back at the fort, it definitely does not extend to Tuco even a little bit. I think their ambiguous history might have something to do with that smirk.

On the other hand, he does then tell Wallace that that's enough when he's getting ready to beat on Tuco some more; probably he wants to save it for the actual interrogation. Angel Eyes enjoys violence but only really employs it in the service of his agenda, rather than pointlessly for the hell of it, as the plainly sadistic Wallace does.

(Blondie looks rankled at Wallace's abusiveness, and smiles a little as Tuco fires back at him.)

Tuco sounding earnestly excited about Angel Eyes saying they should get "good treatment" is painful. Blondie is decidedly less excited about it, and when Tuco sees that his expression changes as well -- enjoy him taking that cue from Blondie.

Angel Eyes justifies his treatment of the prisoners to the commandant first by saying there are too many prisoners and he needs to have respect and then by saying well, our men aren't treated well at Andersonville camp. I doubt either of these things actually has much to do with it; really he's probably torturing prisoners mostly because he wants info on Bill Carson and the treasure, and is obviously robbing them simply for monetary gain, but to his superiors he'll coolly rationalize all this with something that sounds less self-serving. I went down a bit of a Wikipedia rabbit hole about Civil War prison camps, and it sounds like "Confederate prison camps keep prisoners in terrible conditions, so we should be equally cruel" was genuinely an argument used to push for abusive treatment of PoWs in the North.

The poor gangrenous Union commandant is such a good, decent guy, bless him -- "I don't give a God damn what they do in Andersonville." Most genuinely moral person in the movie, probably. Unfortunately, though, although he is nominally in a position of power, he's basically confined to his room, and all he can really do about the malicious takeover of the camp by Angel Eyes and his abusive cronies is giving him stern talks that he blithely ignores.

When he says the prisoners are not to be tortured or cheated or murdered, Angel Eyes just says, "That an accusation?" Obviously he's been doing all that, but he knows the commandant can't prove it. Technically he just takes prisoners into his cabin while the band plays some lovely music! Maybe the injuries they walk out with are because they just happened to have a fall.

"But as long as I'm the commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?" "Yes, sir. Just as long as you're the commandant." A lot of people seem to interpret this as Angel Eyes planning to kill him, but the way I read it is that he's making an oblique reference to how the commandant is not really commanding anything at this point; Angel Eyes is already, for all intents and purposes, running things. He doesn't need to kill him. I think that aligns with the fact we then see Angel Eyes just wish him luck on proving his abuses (God, he's such a smug bastard), leave, and then tell his men to lay low for a few days -- just don't give the commandant the chance to find the evidence he's hoping for, the gangrene will take him eventually anyway, and then probably Angel Eyes might get to officially take over after him, without all the potential complications of actually murdering him.

Angel Eyes truly marks his return to the story in style. Him being effectively in charge of the camp, and thus having absolute power over our now-imprisoned protagonists, while Tuco's blissfully impersonating the very man Angel Eyes has been after, is just such a delicious, exhilarating development and creates an enormous amount of dread and tension for this whole sequence.

Tuco's interrogation

Tuco's clearly nervous being brought in to Angel Eyes' cabin. Then Angel Eyes is being friendly, just offers him food -- so he excitedly sits down and brings a spoonful to his mouth, only to stop, suddenly worried that it's poisoned. So Angel Eyes spoons some off his plate and eats it himself, and Tuco smiles and laughs, going, "I knew it! I knew it!" We may never learn exactly in what capacity the two of them knew each other, but this progression tells a lot, delightfully: Tuco thinks Angel Eyes is somebody who might poison his food, but also goes "I knew it!" when he's shown he didn't, as if he'd never had any doubts. Odds are Tuco does have good reason to be distrustful of Angel Eyes, but once again he likes to live in his best world where people actually like him, so if Angel Eyes is acting friendly, and hasn't poisoned his food, then sure, Tuco will act as if they are the best of friends and he trusted him completely all along. Enjoy this being established implicitly via Tuco's reactions, without having to exposit anything.

The minute he saw him, he said to himself that Angel Eyes never forgets a friend! (He plainly did not say this to himself the minute he saw him.)

"It's good to see old friends again. Especially when they've come from so far away and have so much to talk about. And you do have a lot to talk about, haven't you?" I love the way Angel Eyes does these pre-interrogations, so surface-level friendly yet distinctly threatening. Tuco has a lot to talk about, doesn't he? If he talks enough, Angel Eyes might even not torture him. (But he'd probably still send him to be executed. No reason not to claim that $3000 bounty!)

Tuco smiles and chuckles about how hard it was crossing the desert, especially with nothing to drink. It sure was a hard time for somebody but it wasn't you, Tuco.

Tuco deflects the question about why he's using the name Bill Carson into simply a general rule of not using your own name, which is funny when Tuco is the one main character here who does explicitly go by his actual legal name and also routinely refers to himself in third person.

Enjoy Angel Eyes clapping his back just a bit too hard, as the tiniest taste of what is to come. At this point Tuco's definitely starting to have some creeping doubts about where this is going; we see his eyes flick to the side at it.

Tuco's eyes also shift distinctly back and forth after saying music's very good for the digestion. Definitely catching on that Angel Eyes is driving at something very different and trying to work out what, for all that he answers in a friendly and cheerful way. (Tuco started to question this a little bit when Angel Eyes asked why he's using the name Bill Carson, then a bit more so at the back-clap, then this.)

Once again, once Tuco starts actively refusing to answer Angel Eyes' questions, that's when he casually shifts into torture-mode, stands up to signal for the music to start, and then offers him tobacco only to clamp down on his fingers. The very smooth shift, without much of a real change in demeanor, is part of what makes Angel Eyes so striking as a villain. What a memorably fucked-up guy.

Tuco tries admirably to fight back against Wallace at the start, even with the disadvantage of being handcuffed to a chair the whole time. When Blondie was being tortured he was very calculated about quietly going along and taking it until he believed he had an opportunity; Tuco being tortured is so much messier, full of screaming and struggling, though as it goes on he becomes less able to fight back.

I love the buildup of this scene: the timing of the music swelling before Tuco's first scream; the way you gather the music is to drown out the noise, but the distraught looks of the musicians gain new meaning when the old man tells Blondie how so many of them have had a session in there; the violin player on the verge of tears suddenly cutting out and looking away and being snapped at to continue; all intercut with the movie's bloodiest scene. And, of course, the dissonance of the song they're singing itself, which sounds almost like a lullaby (only if you actually read the mostly-unintelligible lyrics, it's actually about war and all the pointless death involved: Loud roar the cannons till ruin remains / Blue grass and cotton burnt and forgotten / All hope seems gone, so soldier, march on to die; There in the distance a flag I can see / Scorched and in ribbons, but whose can it be? / How ends the story, whose is the glory? / Ask if we dare our comrades out there who sleep). This whole scene is so striking and so good; lots of movies have torture scenes, but the way the band is used makes this one so much more memorable.

(Blondie is silent as ever, but doesn't seem super comfortable there lined up on the other side of the walls staring over towards the cabins, gathering Tuco is probably being tortured in there, that other prisoners already have been, that he might be next.)

Angel Eyes smiling and leaning in as Wallace puts his thumbs on Tuco's eyes is such a touch of sadistic bastardry. (Interestingly, this footage is apparently not in the Italian version, and we instead cut back to Tuco there and actually watch him with Wallace's thumbs on his eyes screaming that he'll talk -- it was reedited to be slightly less violent for the international market, and the Extended Cut kept the international theatrical version of this scene because the only available Italian prints had weird abrupt cuts in the music that presumably resulted from the original version of the scene there getting cut down post-music placement. I do always enjoy more torture, and it's a shame they felt the need to censor it, but I think this shot of how much Angel Eyes is enjoying this is actually very good and effective.)

The two instances of Angel Eyes torturing people for information (first Maria and now Tuco) both end with them giving truthful information, though in neither case is it obviously a violation of the character's deeply held principles or anything (we don't really know much about Maria or her relationship with Bill, but as much as Tuco wants the money, he has every legitimate reason to be more invested in keeping his eyeballs). On the other hand, in order to facilitate this, Angel Eyes kind of just magically knows exactly when they've told all they know and their "I don't know" has become genuine (we can see on his face that he can tell immediately that Tuco means it this time). In real life, torturers generally have no actual idea when their victims are lying even if they think they do, which is one of the several reasons torture is a terrible way to obtain information. But I suppose I will file this with other instances of Angel Eyes being implausibly competent to make him scarier.

Tuco keeps muttering Blondie's name in a bit of a choked-up way after giving him up, which gives the sense that he feels a bit guilty at this point for condemning Blondie to what he assumes is the same fate -- though he's not going to show it later, of course, filing it away where he probably locks all other times he might have felt kind of bad for a thing.

All in all, what a good, brutal, memorable torture scene, A+. The whump as whump is one thing and not necessarily my favorite whump ever or anything (many of the strikes here don't look super convincing, for instance), but as a scene it's just such effective filmmaking, and the particular bloody brutality of it compared to all the sanitized gunshots we've had is such a stark and evocative contrast.

The war is over for you

I love the cut to Blondie being shoved in there just after Tuco has given him up (though alas, he will not be tortured this time), and then the bundle of clothes getting thrown at him from offscreen. The old prisoner told Blondie what goes on in the shack, so as he was sent in there he was fully expecting to be about to get beaten bloody for several minutes. Instead he's… being told to put on some clothes? Huh.

Blondie is amused when Angel Eyes announces he knows the name of the cemetery now and Blondie knows the name of the grave. Here we go again! I think initially he assumes maybe Tuco had just freely told him after all, looped him in on the treasure in exchange for letting them go. After all, Angel Eyes does not seem inclined to torture him at all, they couldn't hear much of anything over the band, and it gets implied later that at some point Tuco told Blondie he and Angel Eyes were old friends, which Blondie obviously would not have put any stock in initially but might seem to check out now…

…But then, as he's taken his hat off, getting ready to just shrug and comply, he eyes the blood on the floor, verifies with his foot that it's still fresh. An uncomfortable confirmation that no, Tuco did not in fact just casually spill the beans.

He asks, "You're not gonna give me the same treatment?", because that seems genuinely odd. If Angel Eyes did get the cemetery out of Tuco by force, why isn't he trying to get the grave out of Blondie? But he's noticeably feeling a bit for Tuco and what he implicitly suffered here; the lingering on the blood on the floor and his expression are pretty telling.

Angel Eyes notes that he figured Blondie wouldn't talk, not because he's tougher than Tuco but because he's smart enough to know that talking won't save him. Very true -- Blondie's calculated enough to figure once he gives up the information he's given up his only leverage, and by that point Angel Eyes would have zero reason to keep him alive anyway. Tuco, though, isn't quite as stupid as Angel Eyes thinks -- he does in fact end up both living and keeping his eyes, simply because talking when he did ultimately paid off by buying him time and opportunity to get free and kill Wallace later (though at the ostensible cost of giving up the money and probably getting Blondie tortured too, of course). Tuco couldn't have known that was likely to work out for him, but while he's there in agony and Wallace is threatening to put his eyes out, he'll take that chance, play it by ear and see what happens. That's not really how Blondie operates: he figures the information is the one thing what makes him valuable and if he wants to survive he needs to safeguard it at absolutely any cost. Angel Eyes understands that, and so he doesn't bother with trying to beat it out of him and just skips straight to the taking him along -- once again, his violence is in the service of his agenda, so if it wouldn't accomplish anything, why try?

(Of course, Blondie being smart enough to know talking won't save him is also why Blondie's smart enough not to lead them to the correct grave later. Foreshadowing!)

Blondie asks if Tuco's dead, hesitant, stopping before the last word. Perhaps this is the moment he realizes he actually hopes he's not.

Angel Eyes is in friendly mode with Blondie. It'll be easier with two of them! Even gives him back his gun -- Angel Eyes presumably figures he's not in danger from Blondie because, with Tuco gone, Blondie needs Angel Eyes to get the money, and obviously he wouldn't just squander that opportunity for no reason, right? Even so, when Blondie unholsters his gun, Angel Eyes slows down as he's putting on his jacket, watching him, probably prepared to react if Blondie were to point it anywhere unexpected.

But he doesn't, of course. Blondie is always one to wait for the best possible chance; if he were to shoot Angel Eyes in the middle of the prison camp he runs, it'd just alert the guards and get him killed. And of course, usually he wouldn't do it until such a time as Angel Eyes is getting ready to shoot him.

(Angel Eyes insists he's not greedy and only taking half, as an incentive for Blondie to actually come along and guide him to the correct grave, but once they do get to the grave, he of course just pulls a gun on Blondie -- he never actually intended to keep that promise.)

When someone at the train station (another injured soldier, missing an arm) asks where Wallace is taking Tuco, and Wallace says to Hell with a rope around his neck and a price on his head, Tuco adds, "Yeah. $3000, friend! That's a lot of money for a head. I bet they didn't even pay you a penny for your arm." It's extremely Tuco that as he's being taken to be hanged, with no Blondie to shoot him down, he's choosing to live in the world where this just makes him impressive and important.

Man, Wallace is so pointlessly violent with Tuco even when he's not even being ordered to torture him specifically. Very understandable how much utter loathing Tuco has for him in particular.

Wallace calls Tuco lucky compared to the Confederate spy who has been tied to the front of a train, because at least he's going to go relatively quickly. Jeez. Striking background elements.

Wallace also makes a quip about how there isn't any partner this time to shoot Tuco down -- he must've heard about the con he ran with Blondie from Angel Eyes, who witnessed them doing it together that one time during the second hanging.

All in all, we've just had yet another shift in the situation! Angel Eyes is now taking Blondie along with him towards the cemetery, while Tuco has been sent off to be executed. We've still got two guys who each know half of the secret -- but at this point, we're all rooting for Tuco to escape, aren't we. We've also got some very important signals here about Blondie's growing empathy for Tuco: the lingering look at the blood on the floor, how he hesitates asking if Tuco's dead. One way or another, he's grown to care for the guy, in spite of everything.

The perfect number

Blondie sleeps with his hand by his pistol, of course he does.

We see his eyes flick open briefly at the sound of footsteps, then he closes them again, and then a few seconds later after the camera has panned back to his hand, when the footsteps have already gone quiet, he suddenly grabs the gun and shoots. This suggests he wakes up at the noise but only decides to fire a bit later, after pretending he's still asleep for a bit. Initially I took it he'd just shot basically on reflex after hearing something in his sleep and then put together that it's someone Angel Eyes instructed to follow them, but on a closer look it doesn't actually look like that's what's going on. Instead, presumably Angel Eyes had told his guys to stay hidden, and this guy only stepped out into the open because Blondie was asleep -- only Blondie is a light sleeper, noticed, took a moment to think, and then decided to go for it.

I think his thought process must be essentially this: first he deduces this guy must be working for Angel Eyes -- either recognizing him from Batterville or just noting that he seems totally unsurprised to see him and Angel Eyes sleeping there. And while traveling to the cemetery along with one guy gives Blondie a pretty good chance of making it out of this alive, Angel Eyes having hidden cronies following them in the shadows is plainly designed to stack the deck hopelessly against him. Blondie is never going to survive this if there's going to be a hidden assassin or more lying in wait (obviously he's not buying that Angel Eyes is doing this just to fairly split the gold with Blondie and then let him go). So he makes a snap judgement to take down at least this one and call Angel Eyes out, knowing once again that because he knows the grave he's too valuable to kill right now.

(This is definitely the most unprompted murder Blondie does in the movie, though -- this guy definitely wasn't drawing his gun, just existing as a future threat to Blondie. RIP.)

Either way, "If your friends stay out in the damp, they're liable to catch a cold, aren't they? …Or a bullet," is a fun one-liner. Blondie shooting them is just something unfortunate that might happen, the way catching a cold happens. (But really, he's warning Angel Eyes that he's on to him with the hidden assassins and he will shoot if he catches any more sneaking around.)

Angel Eyes just looks amused and impressed that Blondie just killed one of his men. Normal reactions that normal people have.

Presumably Angel Eyes tells his men to come out because Blondie just threatened to kill them if they stay hidden, hoping to pacify him. But Blondie still has his leverage, so he just as good as announces airily that he's still planning to kill them all. Angel Eyes may laugh, and be willing to call his bluff as far as his own self is concerned due to the Blondie also can't get the money without him thing, but his poor lackeys must be sweating -- Blondie is running around with a gun, he's just promised to kill them all, and Angel Eyes almost certainly wants the money, and thus Blondie alive, more than he cares about the lives of any of them.

I guess the lackeys aren't too keen on their prospects if they were to attempt to disarm Blondie right now, and if anyone actually dared to shoot him before Angel Eyes' say-so, they could expect his wrath. It's sort of surprising none of them attempt to just get the hell out of there at this point, though -- everyone just shrugging after this while Blondie is there with his gun and a designated bullet for each of them sure is something.

Blondie may in fact have been going for trying to scare off the lackeys. He does not actually think he has much of a chance alone against six men -- hence why he doesn't in fact make a move until he manages to team back up with Tuco later.

He does also say, "Since we're all going in the same direction, might as well go together," which vaguely suggests he's not planning to murder them all right now or anything -- which gives them a bit of time to desert Angel Eyes, if they're going to.

Sometimes the phrasing of lines in the English dub is kind of funny or off, and I just write it off because it's a live-action dub trying its best to vaguely match the lip flaps (sometimes pretty successfully, sometimes a lot less so). But Blondie explicitly spelling out that six is the perfect number because it's the number of bullets in his gun is one instance where I feel like the writing itself is legitimately just kind of clunky in a distracting way. The line about six being the perfect number is good and fun, if the audience is trusted to infer what he means; the spelling-out is unnecessary and exacerbates the sense that Angel Eyes and his men are kind of idiot balling here (you mean to tell me that Angel Eyes, the picture of hypercompetence and master of threatening insinuations, heard him go, "Six. Perfect number :)))", just after shooting one guy and then reloading his revolver with another bullet, and couldn't tell what he meant?).

(Also, why does Blondie say he has six more bullets in his gun. That would imply it's six in addition to the one he's just fired, but no, the one he fired left him with five and that's why he just had to replace that one. Surely the sensible line would be to just say he has six bullets in his gun, no more.)

Incidentally, six really is what is called a perfect number in mathematics (it equals the sum of its integer divisors). Obviously this is not what either Blondie or Angel Eyes is talking about. It might have made at least somewhat more sense if Angel Eyes had said something about the actual concept called a perfect number of which six is genuinely an example (it would still be implying Angel Eyes is somehow enough of a nerd about math, and thinks Blondie is enough of a nerd about math, to think of that first, but at least it would be an explanation for him taking it to be anything other than a reference to the number of bullets in a revolver), but no, saying three is the perfect number rules out that Angel Eyes knows about perfect numbers, because three is not a perfect number. Terrible.

All in all, "Isn't three the perfect number?" "Yeah. But I got six more bullets in my gun," is definitively by far the worst bit of dialogue in this movie on several different levels, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

This one's another Italian/Extended Cut scene, and while it has a couple of fun lines, and fun implications about Blondie's normal paranoid existence, I think it kind of raises more questions than it answers. I suppose the reason it's there originally is that without it, Angel Eyes explicitly says to Blondie that there's going to be two of them at Batterville only to have five additional guys there next time we see them with no comment; we can pretty easily infer that these are the same crooks he was working with for the smuggling operation at the camp either way (that bit isn't even mentioned in this scene anyway!), but the explicit presentation of it initially as a two-person operation becomes a little strange if a bunch more people then appear for it with no explanation at all. That's a valid concern, I suppose, but meanwhile this scene has that straight-up bad bit of dialogue, and while its implications for the metaphorical chess match between Blondie and Angel Eyes and his men are interesting (I kind of enjoy how confidently both Blondie and Angel Eyes call each other's bluffs here), they're a little nuts, and the movie is probably more coherent if we skip this scene and are left to assume Blondie's simply biding his time and Angel Eyes and his men fully assumed he was willingly cooperating and on board with accompanying them all to the cemetery, even if Blondie's initial reaction to Angel Eyes going, "Oh, by the way, these five guys are coming along too," somewhere offscreen is left to the imagination.

Tuco escapes

This is another bit of Tuco being very resourceful and thinking on his feet. Originally he was trying to reach for the gun in Wallace's holster, but when Wallace catches him he immediately comes up with wanting to take a leak. Gun doesn't work to shoot the chain? Try using it as a hammer, and then a different rock, and then try using a train as a bolt cutter, and then jump onto the train while he's at it.

Wallace already looks unconscious by the time they've rolled down the hill away from the train -- Tuco's just making sure he's very, very dead. The smashing his head into a visibly pointed rock several times is very brutal and also kind of drives home all that Wallace has done to him, which is clearly fueling Tuco in his fervor here.

I enjoy that Tuco briefly looks at the blood on his hand after doing it and then just dries it in the sand. I wonder if he's killed anyone quite so directly with his own two hands before. Either way, though, he is not one to linger on it.

"You made a lot of noise, my friend, huh?" he says, calling back to his little seething remark from the first scene where Wallace beat on him about liking how big, fat men like him make more noise when they fall and sometimes they never stand up -- another little bit tying it more directly back to Wallace's abuse.

I enjoy how Tuco is tangibly pretty scared to be up there so close to the moving train, but he sure is still doing it.

Most brutal fate in this movie is definitely Wallace. Pulled out of a moving train, head bashed several times into a pointy rock, then laid down on a train track where he gets dragged along the track for a bit. Eeesh. Certainly a very conscious choice that he's the most violently sadistic character here; Angel Eyes, again, may be an evil bastard, but all of his violence is serving some purpose for him, whereas Wallace has constantly been pointlessly violent just to be cruel.

The ghost town

This movie being very striking even in an incidental scene: the guy made to carry his own coffin to his execution. His crime is explicitly, according to the sign he's also been made to carry, just that he's a thief. What a horrid, awful little background event.

(In this movie, there are six different scenes involving executions or something resembling them in some form, legal or extrajudicial: Tuco's two hangings, Tuco trying to hang Blondie, Shorty's hanging, this guy being executed by firing squad, and Blondie hanging Tuco at the end. In addition to all this, there's how Tuco is going to be hanged when he escapes, and then there's the background gallows at the prison camp. As someone with a thing for executions in fiction, I am truly, shamelessly feasting here. There are many, many other reasons I enjoy this movie, 30k+ words' worth as I am currently demonstrating, but "several hangings and a firing squad" definitely does not hurt.)

Tuco has new clothes here, so clearly we've had some time in between where he managed to get new ones -- he didn't just step off that train he caught or anything. Very reasonably, I assume he ditched the Confederate uniform as soon as possible after what that got them into.

Man, this town really is shot to hell and back. Very tangible sense of how the war has just utterly destroyed it. And yet, once again it's not the main characters' biggest concern, really. It's just a place they're passing through.

Tuco, choosing to just casually use someone else's abandoned bathwater and pour the entire contents of several jars of different bath salts into it. Likewise with the multiple times he licks soap. What a madman.

I love that the purpose of the one-armed bounty hunter is just to be somebody for Tuco to shoot in this town so that Blondie can recognize the sound of his gun and come find him. That's literally all this means for the plot, but they just make a hilarious little sequence and continuity gag out of it, with Tuco being his delightful self with the "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!" line, and that's an iconic choice.

(Tuco, as ever, applies pretty different standards to himself -- he sure could've just shot Blondie on multiple occasions if he really wanted to, but first wanted elaborate revenge, then hesitated, took the time to say goodbye, and then ultimately got interupted. But it's all very personal with Blondie. Random bounty hunter #3? He's just shooting. Bet it was very personal on random bounty hunter #3's end too, though.)

Likewise, Blondie has befriended a tiny stray kitten, who probably just happened to wander into his hat, and calls the kitten 'large one'. It's adorable, and instantly makes Blondie 500% more charming, and also its actual purpose is that there is no way Blondie would explain out loud for the benefit of the audience here why he's standing up to find Tuco unless he had someone to say it to who isn't Angel Eyes' men. Solution? He says it to a random kitten who's there now. A completely shameless approach that totally serves its purpose and adds to the characterization in the process: like Tuco's religiosity, it doesn't mean anything for the plot per se that Blondie is somebody who would see a stray kitten climbing into his hat, gently lift it and pet the kitten and address it by a cute ironic moniker and tell it what he's thinking, but it just adds a little bit of charming extra dimension to him. (And it reinforces the capacity for empathy that he has but has been very quiet about showing so far.)

(Incidentally, even though he was genuinely speaking English on set, you can tell Clint Eastwood's lips aren't totally in sync here, and I gather the Italian line here is just something closer to, "Every gun makes its own sound, and I recognize that one." Is "large one" a product of Mickey Knox doing a rewrite but trying to match it to the lip flaps of a line that originally ended in "that one"? If so, truly the best dubbing choice of all time. The kitten is already adorable, but Blondie calling them large one, my heart.)

That's not to say they couldn't possibly have conveyed that point in a different way, mind. We could see Blondie look up silently and walk away and then tell Tuco when he shows up that he followed the sound of his gun (definitely wouldn't be unreasonable or out of character for Tuco to ask about that). It would have been a little awkward, though, since the actual trigger for him silently getting up would have been taking place a little before the cut to him doing so (and we can't cut straight after the gunshots, because then we would lose "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!", which we definitely cannot). Instead, kitten. Excellent.

(On the other hand, I am very sad for this stray kitten wandering around a ghost town as all the people are leaving. Noooooo please tell me Large One is okay)

(If Tuco has the same gun as before, that must mean Wallace had and was carrying Tuco's gun, and then he took it with him before catching the train, after initially throwing it away in frustration? I don't know guns well enough to tell if it's genuinely all the same gun.)

Angel Eyes sending only one guy after Blondie really makes considerably less sense with Blondie having explicitly threatened to kill all of them in the perfect number scene, doesn't it. Without that scene, it checks out that Angel Eyes wants to keep an eye on Blondie but doesn't immediately have any particular reason to think he's about to betray them or liable to attack anyone; with it, it's a wonder Clem doesn't protest.

RIP Clem. Blondie may jump him when he turns a corner, but even he has his hand on his gun before Blondie actually shoots him, though he freezes and stops drawing it before Blondie actually shoots. (Would he have even gone on to actually shoot Blondie if he'd gotten the chance? Well, Angel Eyes still wants him alive… but perhaps Clem might have tried to shoot him somewhere debilitating but not fatal, which is a thing that generally never happens onscreen in this movie but is clearly something that hypothetically can happen, what with all the injured soldiers with lost limbs.)

Things were once again looking pretty bleak for Blondie here. It was always extremely unlikely he could take out six men on his own, even if he did threaten to do so. He could create an opportunity with Clem, because Angel Eyes sent one guy after him, but it's doubtful he'd ever have been able to pull that more than once; all in all, all roads seem to lead to inescapably getting killed at the cemetery while outnumbered. But then he recognizes Tuco's gun. And if there were two of them, maybe they would have a chance at whittling down Angel Eyes' men. Regardless of anything else, he can easily assume that Tuco will agree to join him: that gets Tuco back in the race for the money.

So why was hearing Tuco's gun perfect timing, anyway? I'm enjoying the thought that Blondie was actually starting to consider attempting something foolish on his own by the time those shots rang out. If what I think I read about the Italian line is accurate, perfect timing is an English dub only thing, but it does create some fun potential implications.

Reunion

Love Tuco playing with the bubbles in the bath; what a ridiculous lovable problem man. Sometimes he's not only naïve but outright childlike.

"Just give me a little time to get dressed and I'll open up!" says Tuco, presumably assuming it's more people here to kill him and hoping he can get the jump on them if they think he's oblivious and are expecting to wait. Instead, it's Blondie on the other side of the room, pointing a gun at him, having distracted Tuco with the front door while coming in from the back -- much like Tuco did to him back at the inn. Parallels!

Blondie opens by telling him to put his drawers on and take his gun off. Instead, Tuco takes his gun off but then gets distracted by wait, how is he here, so he just stands there stark naked for this whole bit and Blondie just takes it in stride without comment. Amazing.

Presumably, Tuco's assumption here was that after Wallace took him away from Batterville, Angel Eyes would have had Blondie tortured as well, and then either killed him too or just kept him locked up. (Naturally, though he seemed to be feeling a bit of guilt about giving up Blondie in the wake of the torture, by now he has suppressed any sense of guilt or regret for this.) Blondie instead being seemingly alive and unscathed and out of there is suspicious.

Blondie says he's here with "your old friend, Angel Eyes". We didn't actually see Tuco talk to Blondie about Angel Eyes on-screen, only "Hey, Blondie, isn't that Angel Eyes?", but it tracks that Tuco would have told him they were old friends, because of course he did because they were definitely friends, and of course Blondie makes a little ironic jab at it now, after Angel Eyes cold-bloodedly had Tuco tortured.

Tuco sounds legitimately angry at the thought that Blondie talked, despite that he himself talked, and gave up Blondie specifically. Very Tuco moment. As ever, he just applies very different standards to himself, who will just do whatever he needs to do, than to others. And I think he legitimately hadn't expected Blondie to talk. How dare he give Angel Eyes the secret when he wouldn't give it to him?!

Blondie could so easily make at least a bit of a jab at the fact Tuco not only talked but obviously gave up Blondie specifically, too. But instead he chooses to completely ignore that bit and just say nah, he didn't talk, and I love that. Blondie does not want to get on his case for whatever he said under torture, and the blatant hypocrisy is just Tuco being Tuco, something that he understands and expects and tunes out by now.

Tuco is so happy when he realizes Blondie is the only one who knows his half of the secret and he's choosing Tuco, and it kind of breaks my heart. In his naïve way, he just figures Blondie wanted to find the treasure with him rather than Angel Eyes, and he's just over the moon about it -- Blondie likes him! Actually went out of his way to come find him!

I love "I get dressed, I kill him, be right back." Obviously if Blondie came here with Angel Eyes and then ditched him and came to Tuco instead, Angel Eyes has got to be seeing red and looking for Blondie right now, and he's a loose end generally, and in Tuco's elation about being Blondie's preferred partner, going out and casually killing Angel Eyes just seems like a simple no-big-deal task! He'll be right back!

When Blondie says there's five of them, Tuco's face falls, because oh, that's not quite a simple no-big-deal task even in his current state of inflated confidence. And then, when Blondie confirms… his eyes narrow a bit. "So that's why you came to Tuco." In other words, not because he just likes Tuco better and wants to share the treasure with him instead, but because if Blondie tells them or shows them the correct grave, he is absolutely 100% dead if he's up against five guys. It's a practical calculus after all, when Tuco so plainly wanted it to be because Blondie just likes him better.

But then he just goes, "It doesn't matter! I'll kill them all!" He's going to prove his worth to Blondie, by singlehandedly killing those five dudes, and thus render himself irreplaceable again. He can totally do that. Definitely.

This may be one of my favorite scenes? I love Tuco playing in the bath, Blondie sneaking up on him in the same way as Tuco snuck up on him at the inn, the way Tuco starts at the sound of his gun cocking, the delightful comic energy of Tuco forgetting that he's still standing there naked for this whole conversation, Blondie quietly choosing to let "You traitor, you talked!" go, Tuco's emotional progression and Eli Wallach just being an absolute joy in his portrayal of him as usual. It's so revealing how thrilled Tuco is about thinking Blondie would just rather find the treasure with him and how he shifts when he realizes that's not actually why -- but Blondie genuinely does kind of like this ridiculous man in spite of himself, even though there are cold, practical reasons behind why teaming up with Tuco again is his best bet. I love this complicated, fucked-up, utterly fascinating character dynamic and how we're still adding more delightful layers to it two thirds in.

Two against five

Angel Eyes is still maintaining he wants Blondie alive to his men, but they're free to kill Tuco.

Blondie lets Tuco go out there, determined to do this on his own, before actually joining him. When Tuco notices him, he's watching him there and just smiling, marveling at this guy. Tuco really is fully planning to just go and singlehandedly confront Angel Eyes and four other men. Plainly something Blondie himself would have been too methodical and careful to even attempt under most any circumstances (which is indeed why he came to Tuco), and yet Tuco's just unquestioningly doing it, choosing to live in the world where this isn't almost certainly going to get him killed.

"Were you gonna die alone?" is just cute. Blondie really wasn't expecting him to go do it alone -- the whole point was they'd have a chance if it was the two of them together. It's pretty likely that they'll die anyway, but they really do have the best shot working in tandem.

I enjoy how you can see how it takes a moment for Tuco to even parse what he means, but then comes that cautious bit of a smile and the theme music kicks in, and awww yeah! Look at them, working together!

Tuco gets the first guy before Blondie notices him, and Blondie gives him this slightly impressed look, and Tuco crosses himself because of course he does and then moves on, and we see Blondie smile a little bit at that too before they continue. Just Tuco things. Blondie's missed him a bit, hasn't he.

I can't believe the two guys who are behind them with a pretty clear line of sight but don't shoot, and then a rogue cannonball kicks up dust so they can't see and then Blondie and Tuco take them out in succession by drawing their attention and then shooting. I guess they were too distracted hearing the cannonball falling by the time the camera made them fully visible.

Tuco's little wink after that one is a delight. He's just having fun.

In terms of the actual action, this sequence isn't that interesting -- Angel Eyes' men are not really characters and don't feel very competent or threatening at all, there's never a real sense that Blondie and Tuco are in serious danger, they barely even actually get shot at, and every time they shoot they just instantly kill the other guy, with not much real tension about it. But really it's a sequence about Blondie and Tuco genuinely working well together. First Tuco kills one Blondie didn't notice, then they each get one in a coordinated effort, then Blondie gets one Tuco didn't notice. They make equal contributions, compensating for each other's weaknesses, and it all works out smoothly, where they cover each other and enhance each other's skills rather than getting in one another's way.

Tuco says Angel Eyes is his and Blondie just says, "All right," a little sign of respect. Angel Eyes did have Tuco tortured, so it seems only right. (Later, though, when it really matters, he will absolutely not leave Angel Eyes to Tuco -- too careful.)

Love Tuco stumbling over reading the word "idiots". He grew up in poverty and probably had zero formal education; he's obviously learned the alphabet and can theoretically read, but for anything but the most common words it clearly takes him a bit of trying to sound things out. Another character trait that's not necessary for anything but it's just fun and adds even more flavor and texture to him, like his religiosity.

Blondie reading it for him and then going "It's for you" and handing it to him is a great gag and also reads fully as good-natured ribbing at this point and it's great -- Tuco doesn't even react to him making that joke, just tears up the piece of paper.

(On the other hand, the Doylist reason he doesn't react is that, as Christopher Frayling's commentary points out, you can tell from Clint Eastwood's lips that on set he said, "It's for us." Again, I love "It's for you"; it's definitely a funnier line, and the comic timing with Blondie handing Tuco the paper is perfect, and the sense of friendly ribbing is great. But what I do enjoy about "It's for us" is that it calls back to the other time Blondie called the two of them collectively idiots, namely, "God's not on our side, 'cause he hates idiots also," and I really do enjoy Blondie calling them both idiots as a pair being not just a somewhat ambiguous one-off thing but a habit. I will take on board the fun implications about his character while considering "It's for you" canon.)

One sequence and the movie has successfully sold us on Blondie and Tuco collaborating in a perfectly genuine way. Last time, we ended on the delightful moment where these two guys who hate each other are going to have to set it aside and work together anyway; by now, an hour later, I was sincerely rooting for them to both make it out of this alive and actually split the treasure together, and that's a marvel after how the entire first half of this movie went. It's just an all-around delight and their dynamic is so much fun. I love them.

(Concluded in part three! Thanks for reading if you have been.)

[quitealotofsodapop]

I think in the Calabash episode, Yin and Jin never actually meant any harm to MK and, in truth, was trying tonlure Wukong out in Slow Boiled au. The episode where these two debut and where Macaque debut are 4 episodes apart, close enough to assume Macaque may be alive and probably reunited with his adopted mother and the twins. They know Wukong has taken on an heir, but nobody knows where Wukong is or has seen him yet. So what if Yin and Jin targeted MK to try to draw their brother's ex out to answer for, y'know, killing him?

Jin and Yin get MK in the Calabash, and only remember part-way through the episode that they need to get information out of him about the Monkey King.

Jin: "Is it true that the Monkey King is up the duff?" Yin: "And why he gotta do that to our big bruv so bad?!" MK, not understanding: "wut??" Jin: "Wait! Bruv, what if the King didn't tell em yet?" Yin: "Oh man! Forget what you heard Monkey boy!" MK, still confused: "I... will?" Jin: "Uh... how about yerself then?" MK: "Oh! You guys just want an interview?" Jin & Yin: *share a look* "Err..." "Yeah!"

Afterwards they report his behavior to their mother Jiuweihuli/the Nine-Tailed Vixen. Plus say sorry for wrecking part of the prop room + the Calabash as part of their plan.

Jiuweihuli: "Nevermind, what was the kit like?" Jin: "Um... very scatterbrained but smiley." Yin: "And super dramatic." Jin: "Hard worker tho." Yin: "Absolutely. Loves his stone fruits too." Jin: "I've got his picture here." *shows on his phone to Juweihuli* Jiuweihuli: *immediately sees the combo of Wukong and Macaque's traits* Jiuweihuli, overjoyed and furious all at once: "I GRANDMOTHER!?"

You bet when Macaque gets back, his adoptive theatre family are going to grill him about whether or not he and Wukong had a cub without their knowledge. Macaque is even more confused then they are! This is where he first sees MK's face for the first time (via the "interview" photos he took with the twins), and just sees the same smile his Peaches once shone with.

Meanwhile MK comes away from the situation with the twins uber confused. Also he now recieves free theatre tickets for some reason...

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

... And Back: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Summary: Knowing the Turner Brothers killed nearly one hundred people, the FBI, Detroit police, and the Canadian police work hard to figure out three things: Where is Kelly, who has been murdered here, and what will happen when Lucas is caught? That’s not the only thing you have to worry about as a nightmare is about to come your way.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

Derek and Emily are working with the Bloodhounds and walking around the property trying to find Kelly and Lucas. It's weird to think you've been with the team for over four years, working nonstop, and these two brothers were out here killing eighty-nine people without you even knowing.

Well, you know now and it's going to stop. However, no matter what you do, how hard you work, or how good at your job you are, there will always be someone out there hurting people for fun. Your job is never going to end.

Some of the Bloodhounds found scent markings on some trees but lost them when they reach a small stream of water that runs in the back of the property. If the dogs lose the scent for good, it's going to be like searching for a needle in a stack of needles.

Meanwhile, Penelope is working hard inside the house trying to figure out what's really going on here. No one kills eighty-nine people and counting without some kind of reason. It doesn't take long to figure out what Mason is researching, and it's actually shocking considering what's going on here.

Mason has been looking for a cure for his paralyzed body. He needs stem cells from people in order to cure himself, but they've all been unsuccessful experiments. Mason deems it right because the people Lucas took were transients, prostitutes, and drug users. He wanted to give their lives purpose by being part of a revolutionary cure.

He claims it's science.

Lucas has drawn what their lives have been like for the past eight years. He's the reason why Mason is how he is. Lucas accidentally pushed Mason down something that paralyzed him, so Mason blames and faults him for something that was an accident, so he has his chunky younger brother kill to help cure something that was Lucas' fault.

You and Spencer leave the barn to tell the others what you've found.

"They were doing experiments for spinal regeneration. He was trying to fix himself," Rossi says.

"How?"

"Stem cell research."

"Wait, this equipment is far too unsophisticated. There's no way it would have ever worked," Spencer says.

"You were a prosecutor, Hotch. Could you convict this guy? A quadriplegic who clearly never touched any of the victims?" you ask.

"I don't know. We need to concentrate on Kelly. We can't worry about the other stuff right now."

"Son of a bitch. He might get away with this. Come on, Rossi. Let's talk to Mason again." You look to the right and see Will leaning against the pig pen just listening in. You hope he doesn't do anything stupid. You and Rossi walk back inside the house and over to Mason who has a slight smirk on his face. "Tell me about how you got hurt."

"Does it matter?"

"Humor me."

"My brother pushed me out of the loft. I wanted to sell the farm. I had just finished medical school. It would have given me a nice down payment on a practice in the city, but the farm was all he knew. He doesn't handle anger very well."

"Is that why you hate him?"

"Hate him? He's done nothing but take care of me every day since then."

"You said not to even try talking to him if we find him. That sounds like you want us to kill him, right Rossi?"

"Sounds right to me."

"That's not hate. That's a favor. My brother couldn't survive without me."

You and Rossi leave the room to join Penelope in the next.

"Did you find anything else?" you ask.

"Nothing that'll help find his brother. There's a cell phone he calls dozens of times a day, but that appears to be off. I tried to activate the GPS locator on it, but I think it's an old phone so that's not gonna work either."

"Will you know if it comes on?"

"I hope so."

"How's it going?" JJ asks when she walks in.

"Just waiting for--" The computer dings and Penelope gasps. "Oh, my God. The phone just turned back on. Oh, my God!"

"Answer it."

"Hello?" Penelope asks.

"Hello? My name is Kelly."

"Kelly? This is Penelope Garcia with the FBI."

"Oh, my God, you have to help me. I'm somewhere in the woods being held by a man named Lucas, and he--"

"Kelly?" Lucas stutters.

"Please help me!"

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Please--"

The call cuts off. Lucas has Kelly somewhere on the property, and you need to find her quickly.

"The phone's disconnected."

"Garcia, can you find the signal?" Rossi asks.

"Yes. I'm hooked on the system. I should be able to--Got it! It's west of here, less than half a mile."

"That's all you can tell?"

"It's the woods. There aren't any reference points."

"We don't need one. I can take it from there. Come on," you urge.

You, Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer meet up with Emily and Derek who are already out in the field. JJ and Penelope stay with Mason in hopes the phone turns back on and Kelly calls again. The Bloodhounds run alongside you to where the last known location of the phone is, but the scent dies off.

She's not here.

"She should be right here. This is where the signal came from," Hotch says. "There's nothing here. Y/N, anything?"

You close your eyes and allow Kelly's panic to reach you. The trail of energy isn't coming from the sides or above you. It's coming from down below. There is a hatch here somewhere that must lead down to a cave.

"They're in a cave. Follow me!"

You lead the group to where the energy trail leads off, and you allow Hotch and Derek to lift the heavy wooden board Lucas tried so hard to hide.

"Kelly!"

"Down here! Don't make any sudden moves when they come down, okay?" she begs Lucas.

"I'm bad," Lucas repeats and whimpers.

"Lucas Turner, this is the FBI."

"Just put your hands up, okay? Everything is going to be okay," Kelly says.

Hotch removes her from Lucas and passes her onto you and Emily. Emily gets her out of the cave but you can't help but look back at Lucas. He's scared and confused, and he doesn't know what is going on.

"Be gentle with him! He's scared!"

Jeff's team doesn't listen and perceives him as a threat. Lucas gets confused enough to where he starts lashing out. He gets up to attack, and that's when Jeff's team starts firing at him.

"Stand down!" you and Derek yell.

The deed is done. Lucas is dead. Will grabbed the nearest gun he could find and shot Mason knowing he was going to get arrested. But hey, at least he got his sister's killer. Both brothers are dead, just like you thought was going to happen.

All you want to do is go home. This case has drained the life out of you. The entire ride home, no one said a word. No words needed to be said. The killings will stop, but you'll have to deal with another murderer the next day.

It's never gonna stop.

"Ready to go home?" you ask Spencer once you two have packed everything away.

"More than you know."

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Listen, it's nothing you did but ever since I was poisoned, I have this fear of germs now. That's all I see everywhere I go. I don't want to get sick again."

"I understand. I'll never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Can I give you a hug?"

"Yes," he smiles.

You wrap your arms around his waist and kiss the part where his heart is over his clothes. Spencer kisses the top of your head with a loving smile.

Everything is as it should be.

--

He is angry. No, pissed is more like it. He should have never let you go in the first place. You could still be with him safe and sound, and he would never have to worry if he's going to get that one phone call that's going to put him away for life. He's tried to be nice about it. He tried to offer you everything you could need and more.

But no, you'd rather go home to him. He's getting so sick and tired of hearing about Spencer Reid. He stole what was his to begin with.

The man takes inhales from the cigarette longer than he should have before letting out the smoke into the air. He looks down at the man he's just murdered. Blood spatters and pools all over the ground, but there is no one around to witness this. He made sure to pick a desolate road so that he wouldn't get caught.

He's been doing this for a long time, he knows how to evade the law.

He takes another puff of his cigarette before ripping it in two. He drops the untouched side of the cigarette onto the ground and throws the touched side into the trash can inside his car. He removes the latex gloves on his hands and throws them away in the same trash can. He grabs another pair of fresh gloves and slides them on.

There is no way he's going to leave behind any evidence that would incriminate himself.

There is a box on his passenger seat that has items he's stolen from your house. It's so easy to sneak inside when he knows where you keep the spare key. You're always forgetting where you put your keys. It's so like you to be so fucking stupid. Inside the box is a plastic baggie with a cup inside.

When he was snooping around your apartment, he made sure to take the cup you always use, a cup that would have half a dozen good fingerprints on it. With his clean thumb, he presses the latex over the fingerprint so that the print is transferred to the glove. With his left hand, he grabs the murder weapon and transfers the print onto the handle of the weapon.

Once finished, he tosses the weapon into a box in the backseat. There have to be at least seven different weapons with seven different kinds of blood used to kill seven different kinds of victims. All with your prints on them.

Seven victims scattered around where you work and where you live.

The man takes out another baggie filled with the hair he gathered from your hairbrush. You really need to clean that thing. It's like you're begging him to ruin your life. He removes some strands of hair and sprinkles it over the dead body at his feet.

This will ensure that you're linked to this murder along with the six other victims he's done this to. The man lights another cigarette but this time, he smokes it calmly. He leans against his car and takes his time enjoying the fresh air and the night sky. When he's done, he gives this cigarette the same treatment and gets back into his car.

He removes the gloves, throws them into the trash can, and leans back in his head. He thinks about you, the way you smell when you're near him, the feel of your body when he used to sneak into your room when he knew you were asleep, everything about you. You were his first, and no matter how far you move away from him, he's going to remind you that you'll never be able to leave.

If you refuse to listen to him, refuse to come back to him, then he's going to make sure no one will ever see you again as you rot in prison for the rest of your life.

"Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you've failed. Did it need to end that way? Could something have been done to prevent the tragedy in the first place? Eighty-nine murders at the pig farm. The deaths of Mason and Lucas Turner make ninety-one lives snuffed out. Kelly Shane will go home and try to recover and reconnect with her family, but she'll never be a child again. William Hightower, who gave his leg for his country, gave the rest of himself to avenge his sister's murder. That makes ninety-three lives forever altered, not counting family and friends in a small town in Sarnia, Ontario, who thought monsters didn't exist until they learned that they spent their lives with one. What about my team? How many more times will they be able to look into the abyss? How many more times before they won't ever recover the pieces of themselves that this job takes? As I said, sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes the day just... ends." - Aaron Hotchner

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[shuilongyinleo]

Shui Long Yin - Report/Review from staff in the film crew after an internal screening:

Warning: spoilers ahead!

Luo Yunxi is coming with a 40-episode martial arts costume drama.

Finally, there is a decent martial arts drama!

The Jianghu isn’t a peaceful banquet, it’s a high-stakes, life-or-death game. So the only way to beat death is to simply not die. And when Tang LiCi stormed into the Central Plains, carrying 88 jin* of exotic customs, Shui Long Yin delivered a full-scale genetic upgrade to traditional wuxia dramas.

[*a jin is an ancient measurement that is 500 grams]

This enigmatic man treats political intrigue like a casual puzzle game, yet turns the martial arts world into a massive battle royale. While others wield swords and sabers, he charges in armed with 800 layers of scheming, daring to take on the entire martial world alone.

Luo Yunxi’s signature breathtaking, strong, and tragic persona is fused to him more than ever. Meanwhile, director Qian Jingwu of "Love Between Fairy and Devil" fame, infuses the series with a Marvel-esque cinematic grandeur. Amid the flashing blades and clashing swords, streaks of cyberpunk light cut through the battlefield; transforming this world into a wuxia-sci-fi fusion like never before.

When it comes to Tang Lici, he’s basically a walking cheat code in the Jianghu.

The first time he appeared, standing at the edge of a cliff, dressed in snow-white robes, the comment section exploded: “Three, two, one, screenshot for wallpaper!”

But don’t be fooled by his ethereal looks. When he strikes, he’s more punctual than a food delivery service, if he says he’s coming for your head, you won’t live past midnight.

Remember the Thirteenth Floor Tower? He sat there, sipping tea, while the most powerful figures in the martial world danced like puppets in his hands.

And the most legendary moment? The showdown against Sword King City. They drew their swords, he played the qin. Guangling San became the deadliest battle theme, turning his duel into a masterclass in cultural dominance so brutal that even pro gamers would cry.

The production team really knows how to keep us on our toes. That dramatic shift from sworn brothers to mortal enemies? Even fandom scandals aren’t this intense.

One moment, they’re drinking and singing together in a peach grove; the next, they’re at each other’s throats. The twist came so fast, I nearly dropped my popcorn.

And then there’s Chi Yun, the guy could coast through life on his looks alone, but no, he just (had) to throw himself into the fight for his brother. That battle scene? Blood packs flying everywhere like they were on clearance, turning tragedy into a full-blown aesthetic of violence.

Fair warning for the faint-hearted: you might want to brace yourselves. This drama dishes out heartbreak faster than a Black Friday sale.

The actresses have really maxed out their buffs this time.

Lin Yun’s character? Just standing there, she’s already locked the straight male gaze onto the ‘pure campus goddess’ template. But she’s not here to play it straight, on the surface, she’s a sweet little bunny, but underneath? A jade-faced asura who can recite The Art of War by heart.

Then there’s Chen Yao’s Xi Fangtao, one glance, and she’s got the guys under her spell. But turn around? She’s pulling out hidden weapons faster than a nail tech painting cat-eye designs.

Watching these two team up for their legendary fight scenes feels like a wuxia version of Why Women Kill. Honestly, some of these so-called ‘strong female lead’ dramas should be taking notes.

Director Qian Jingwu has truly unlocked the secret to making a top-tier wuxia drama this time.

That scene where Tang LiCi takes on the Feng Liu tavern? Absolutely insane, there’s a massive 3D dragon soaring overhead while the real actors are going all out in a martial arts showdown below.

But the real highlight? The puzzle-solving sequence in the Mechanized City. Tang LiCi cracking the Nine Linked Rings was faster than Li Jiaqi (a streamer) yelling, 'Buy it now!' The comment section instantly split into two camps:

At this point, is it even a wuxia drama? Feels more like a period-drama version of The Brain mixed with Great Escape.

Original novel fans are probably out there hyping it up like crazy, but the drama version clearly knows how to hook modern viewers.

When Tang LiCi said, "This jianghu, I want it all," every overworked employee watching probably had a collective brain explosion, because isn’t that the ultimate dream? The perfect underdog-to-success story we all wish for?

But hold on, don’t get too comfortable. Just when you think you’re in for a power trip, the writers hit you with heartbreak. That hesitant look in Liu Yan’s eyes right before he turns dark? Somehow, it stings more than your boss saying, “Stay back for some overtime.”

This drama plays harder to predict than a sweet-talking heartbreaker. Just when you’re ready to flip the table in frustration, it hands you a candy, only to follow it up with a mouthful of poison.

Shui Long Yin isn’t slicing through the saturated world of wuxia dramas with cheap CGI or over-the-top romance.

While others are still remaking Jin Yong and Gu Long classics, this one is already building a wuxia metaverse.

To those who say "wuxia is dead", time to wake up. As long as you fuel the jianghu with imagination, the old-school spirit of wuxia can still be reborn.

Now, the real question is: if you had Tang Li Ci’s 800 layers of scheming, would you choose to seek revenge and justice, or play the long game of power and strategy?

Drop your Jianghu survival guide in the comments, and while you’re at it, predict the finale. Will it be a full-blown fantasy ending with everyone ascending to immortality, or a heartbreak so devastating it crashes the trending charts?

Tv drama: SHUI LONG YIN

Shui Long Yin & Leo

All music and image are copyrighted and belong to the respective owners, included the official film crew SHUILONGYIN.

[raayllum]

do you think that Zym would be a part of Callum’s “inner circle”? Like, if Soren wasn’t included for example.

I mean, I think there's a lot of people Callum loves deeply and considers family. Zym and Soren are both definitely in that category; so is Bait, Opeli, and the rest of Ez's council, Aunt Amaya and Janai, etc. But like - I do think Ezran and Rayla are his only "I'd burn the world down for you" people. He equates the love he has for Ezran with the love Rayla has for himself like, nine days into knowing her? (2x03 my beloved). He just relies on them and trusts them in ways he doesn't with anyone else. They're his people, his two pillars. As long as he has them and they're safe and sound, he can function decently well. If he doesn't... woof

Like Ez is Ez, and 5x01 perfectly demonstrates how Callum trusts Rayla in ways he doesn't with Soren (4x01). I think Callum loves Zym very very much, but also as an extension of Ezran but like - here's Callum's reaction when he thinks Zym is gone in 4x07; he puts a hand on Ezran's shoulder because he loves Zym too, but he also knows that what Ezran and Zym have (a literal soulmate bond tbh) is special and unique and that Ez is the closest to the wee dragon

vs when Callum thinks he's lost Rayla or Ezran

And again, even the way he trusts them:

or when he thinks they're in danger and someone is standing in his way

meanwhile when Soren goes missing, or Zym gets stolen, Callum is stressed and concerned, yeah, but he's mostly able to keep a level head and stay optimistic. He doesn't get distracted. Like, in 3x09, Aunt Amaya and Soren were both down there on the active battlefield, and Callum wanted them to be okay! But he wasn't fraught with worry about it, and as soon as Callum had reunited with Ez and knew he was alright, he immediately waned to go reunite with Rayla above all else, even leaving Ez to take care of the rest of the battle on his own at his brother's encouragement: "Go to her. Rayla. It's okay, I got this." If it's anyone else in danger, he doesn't loose his cool. Because even when that shit hits the fan, he has Ezran and Rayla at the very least to rely upon and fall back on.

It's kinda like how Soren loves his family dearly - Viren included - but Soren was literally willing to kill Viren to protect Ezran, and indicated he'd do the same with Claudia if he absolutely had to: "You stop, or I will stop you" (paraphrasing 4x07). That doesn't mean he doesn't love them, it just means there's something (Ezran and what feels right) he's willing to put above them. If anything, I think Callum is probably glad for some of their emotional distance, because it means he knows that if Soren had to choose between the broyals, he'd pick Ezran, just the way Callum would want / demand for him to.

This is also kinda reflected in that even when Soren is there and has been a member of the Group for years now, in 5x05, Ezran consults with Callum and Rayla. Soren doesn't even get a vote; Zym is just there to vibe with Ezran (although he'd prob weigh in if he wanted to). To me, the three of them? That's their inner circle. And Callum is just motivated more acutely by it, I think, compared to the rest of said circle

[athetos]

Okay here’s the very rough outline of my baru cormorant x locked tomb crossover…. If you have suggestions let me know… Major spoilers for both book series. Also I want to clarify this isn’t going to be a very long multi-chapter thing, I’m hoping to keep this under control and have it be a collection of scenes in chronological order that cover everything. Like I’m absolutely wanting to keep this below 20k words so it doesn’t destroy me.

Taranoke is a planet destroyed and flipped by the lyctors and the cohort. One of the lyctors, Farrier, realizes baru had a spark of necromantic ability and saves her (promising to protect her parents) and sends her to a top necromantic school. Without the knowledge of the emperor (renascent) he secretly trains her when he visits and keeps an eye on her progress. She is given Muire lo as a cavalier, and becomes fast friends with Aminata, the cavalier to croftare. Throughout her studies, baru learns more and more about how the nine houses are run, and decides to overthrow them from the inside, with the ultimate goal of killing all the lyctors and the emperor, so that no more planets are flipped and the war can end. Upon graduation, baru is sent to the ninth house to become their sole necromancer, as the previous ones have all died of a deadly pox, and is told a chance to ‘ascend’ will be sent her way in due time.

There, she of course meets tain Hu, as well as oathsfire, Lyxaxu, and Unuxekome, among others. Midway through her stay, as she’s working to restore the ninth house to its former glory, Muire lo becomes ill and dies. Heartbroken, baru hides away to grieve, before being forced at last to pick a replacement cavalier. As oathsfire and some of the other dukes are all cavaliers with significant experience with their late necromancers, it’s expected she’ll choose one of them, but she instead picks Tain Hu. This is not only because she trusts her beyond any other, but also because she hopes the taboo of a necro/cav relationship will make her crush on her go away (it doesn’t, not at all.)

They of course get the invitation to Canaan house. Aminata and croftare are there, somewhat taking the role of palamedes and Camilla, and the third house is Yawa and olake. Cytherea is a member of the cancrioth, haven’t settled on one in particular. Things go much as they did in GTN, except Yawa is also forced to eat olake’s soul, not willingly, which devastates her. Plus, croftare dies without a plan like palamedes did, but Aminata survives. Baru has solved the lyctor theorem, has at a point probably known for a while and just repressed it, but comes up with a desperate and wild gambit. Meanwhile, When Hu sacrifices herself, Baru tells her she has a plan, and will see her soon. After defeating the rogue lyctor, baru writes the letters to her future self, and ropes Yawa into helping her do brain surgery, with Yawa firmly on her side in contrast to ianthe, as she also wants revenge for being forced to use up her brother.

The lyctors are farrier (cav unknown), hesychast (with iscend as his cav, who takes over his body occasionally like Pyrrha did to g1deon), svirakir (iraji was his cav), yawa and her cav, and tain shir (unknown cav). Baru feels a massive headache when she sees shir, and to a lesser extent, yawa. Shir tries to kill baru, but not because she’s told to by the emperor, but for revenge since she knows baru consumed her cousin’s soul, which confuses baru because she has no idea why shir is doing what she’s doing. Nobody else tells her why, just is cryptic about it thinking she’s insane, and yawa can’t tell her without compromising the plan. Instead of Camilla meeting her on one of the planets, Aminata meets her and Yawa instead, as she was given instructions to by baru, who thought of everything even if she can’t remember it. She took Hu’s body from Canaan house, and upon seeing it baru remembers everything. With yawa’s help, they heal Hu’s body with lyctor powers and insert Hu’s soul. This gives their souls a connection where baru can use some lyctor abilities while Hu can do her own thing, and they have telepathy across even large distances, and Hu can use some of Baru’s necromantic stuff, too.

Yawa had managed to get a blood sample from the emperor, and gives it to Hu and Aminata. While baru and Yawa continue to deceive the emperor, Aminata and Hu travel to the ninth house and use her newfound connection with baru and the vial of blood to break into the locked tomb. With telepathy, they coordinate the perfect moment, when the emperor is vulnerable from a resurrection beast attack, to unseal the Body. As the beast and the Body attack renascent at the same time, they are forced into the stoma and banished. The resurrection beasts pass on, now that their revenge is sated, and farrier is killed in the process. Shir of course is now on their side, and iscend takes permanent control over hesychast, and svirakir disappears. The nine houses as they know it is completely toppled, the secret to lyctorhood is kept hidden forever, and they work to help everyone heal and eventually thrive without their influence. They try to return life to Taranoke, and the what was the ninth house is restored to its former glory. Baru, Hu, and Aminata are in a polycule. The end <3

[bunbunbon02]

"...But it's no longer you."

Howdy! this is the continuation of "When does a man become a monster" Hope you enjoy! Pt.1 -> Pt.2 WC: 959

Reminder : I do this for fun and will upload as I finish each part!

Kethric Thorm soon made his way out of the throne room and made his way up the stairs leading to the rooftop. He didn’t have to question where Wendigo’s loyalty lied, but when a complete stranger who looked eerily similar to her called her by another name, he grew suspicious. For now, he would ignore it until the finale. Meanwhile, Wendigo was left alone with the new and not-so-new guest at Moonrise. She looked over at the man who she knew as Creed, her brother, with disinterest, but deep down she wanted nothing more than to run up to him and give him a hug and just cry. He was alive. He wasn't off somewhere dead, but he called her by a name she thought she would never hear again. Did Orin have something to do with this? Was this just some sick joke? Then it dawned on her. There was a possibility he could be infected, like the majority of the Swordcoast.

“No way… He wouldn’t let his guard down long enough for that to happen,unless...

Her hands balled into fists as she tried to piece together the reason why he would be acting like this. She had flashbacks from when Orin carved the scars that had been covered with a neck tattoo into his flesh. Was it during that moment that she slipped the tadpole into his skull? Was she planning to do the same to Wendigo? She had to stay focused. She was given an order, and she had to carry it out. She could not afford to slip up now. She took a deep breath, and just like that, she slipped back into the person she wanted all of Faerun to see.   

She stood before the people in the throne room and the goblins that were terrified. They begged for her to show mercy. They even pleaded with Creed and the members of his party to give them mercy, but mercy was not allowed for failures. She took a deep breath as she held a hand in the air. The feeling of her power was coursing through her. The magic she had been trained to use. The very magic that wizards were not supposed to use unless it was absolutely necessary—the shadow weave. The goblins suddenly brought their hands up to their throats and began gasping for air. Their cries for help go unanswered. Wendigo concentrated, and the air in their lungs was being pushed out until they suffocated under her power. Soon enough, the goblins fell to the ground, lifeless, but Wendigo stood stoic as ever, unphased by the scenes that unfolded in front of everyone. Creed didn’t have time to process what was happening. The person he thought was his sweet and loving sister just killed those goblins. It hurt to see that scene unfold right before him, but deep down, something in him enjoyed it. 

When Wendigo came to greet the newcomers, she saw how Creed felt. She could sense the confusion on why she acted the way she did. That just confirmed her suspicions of what could’ve happened to him, but it didn’t matter to her.

“Nyx…What in the nine hells is going on?!”

Even though Creed was trying to maintain a certain presence that showed he didn’t care, his voice gave him away. He wanted to reach for his companion, known by many names, but Creed only knew him as one—Astarion��but he couldn’t let the facade down, not while being surrounded by the enemy. He felt hopeless. The last memory he had of his sister was nothing like the woman that stands before him now. The wizard in Creed’s party, Gale Dekarios, stepped closer to the sorcerer to whisper in his ear.

“Whatever you are feeling right now, mask it. We can’t get caught…”

Gale knew Creed was struggling to keep his emotions in line. Even though he and Creed butted heads in the past due to Creed being born with magic and Gale having to learn to wield it, he knew the sorcerer’s emotions were tied to his magic. If it wasn’t obvious, he could tell this woman was nothing like Creed. Yes, they look similar in appearance, but she did not possess the same sorcery as Creed. The fact that this was the same woman Creed would talk so highly of back at camp raised questions about whether this was the same person or whether his judgement was through rose lenses.

Wendigo didn’t want to have to correct Creed about what her name was, considering he has said the same name more than once now. She just wanted to grip him and yell that she is no longer the person he thought she was anymore and never will be. She took a deep breath to regain her composure.

“ Since you all are here...  Make yourself useful, and help me find Balthazar. Once you’ve gathered supplies, find me near the steps outside.”

She started to walk away from the group, and she could feel all their eyes on her, so she briefly stopped in her tracks to turn her head to the side.

“It’s Wendigo… whoever this Nyx is, she’s gone…”

Hearing those words come out of her own mouth made her own heart shatter. She was no longer the person Creed thought or remembered, but she could say the same about him. He was no longer a threat, or so she thought. Even before, he wasn’t considered a threat, even if she always thought of him that way. Those thoughts made her work hard to be better…to be able to protect him, but is that really the reason anymore ? She failed to realize what Orin did, but she enjoyed the power she now held—but at what cost?

[basingstokemercury]

My current list of Bonanza fanfic ideas (no idea if I'll ever be able to finish one)

Bonanza Childhood Scenes (prequel, this one's finished and up on AO3)

As Adam grows, his relationship with his brothers changes - especially the younger and more difficult one. A series of short vignettes explores those changes.

Thy Father And Thy Brothers (crossover, The Yeomen Of The Guard. Joe Cartwright/Elsie Maynard, but not for long.)

Adam's childhood friend, Leonard Meryll, is home from the army after years of distinguished service. Unfortunately, his timing couldn't be worse, as an old comrade turned outlaw is taken on the Ponderosa, and Leonard's father, the deputy sheriff, is torn between duty and saving a friend he believes to be wrongly accused. Meanwhile, Joe's taken a fancy to travelling showgirl Elsie Maynard. But when a charming escaped prisoner begs her for shelter, Elsie realises she'd never truly known love before - and the Cartwrights are caught in the midst of it all.

Frontier Medicine (crossover, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

Another medical conference goes wrong for Dr. Julian Bashir, as he finds himself transported to Virginia City, Nevada, 1861. Saving a wealthy rancher's son gets him friends and a place to stay, but embroils him in the mystery behind the attempt on the boy's life - and it's not easy hiding the truth about his own origins from Adam's watchful mind. Back on DS9, trying to learn what happened to his doctor leads Sisko to explore his ancient family history...

Deep Space Nevada (Crossover, Star Trek Deep Space Nine)

A freak temporal event brings the Cartwrights to a space station hundreds of years in the future - where Ben finds a kindred spirit in its commander, Adam is enchanted by Major Kira and very suspicious of a certain tailor, Hoss tames an alien pet, and Joe gets into all-new forms of trouble at Quark's.

I Seek My Brother (prequel)

A seventeen-year-old Joe has just about had enough of his domineering oldest brother. But when Adam doesn't come home after yet another fight, he's the one Ben sends to find out what happened. The answer throws both of them into danger, and Adam must protect both himself and an out-of-his-depth brother...

The House That Adam Built (dark timeline)

And Adam's gone. But a house isn't as easy to kill, and the memories associated with it still harder.

Belated Lullabies (prequel, might have to scrap depending on what later canon reveals)

How and why Adam learned to play the guitar. Featuring teenage antics, connecting to the mother he never knew, and becoming closer with the mother he now has.

Structural Weaknesses (episode divergence, using it to work through my own struggling brain)

When Adam rides off in A House Divided, full of regret and self-blame, he means to go a lot farther than New England. Joe catches up before he can go through with it, but Adam's strained mental state leads to difficult emotional ground for both of them.

Though It Meant My Life

Witnesses to a murder mistakenly identify Adam as the culprit. But why does he refuse to offer an alibi?

Broken Telegram

Adam and Joe leave on a business trip, and things go very wrong. Ben and Hoss, acting on distorted reports, risk making the situation even worse - and perhaps those inaccuracies were put there on purpose?

And then there are some ideas for filling in scenes we were robbed of in canon, including The Magnificent Adah and A House Divided.

[whumpslist]

A bunch of answers 5 and recap

Hi everyone,

With the summer season and the ending of many series, I’m finally catching up with old whumps’ lists, in particular:

* As already stated here, I’ve completed the final seasons of The Flash, Titans and Endeavor and updated the whumps lists; I’ve completed Carnival Row as well and it’s online;

* the lists from current, but not broadcasted at moment, series are all updated; The Blacklist’s tenth and final season is airing and updated to the last episode as well;

* I have to update the second season of Tale of the Nine-Tailed which is currently being aired under the name “1938″ as a prequel and I will binge watch it once fully broadcasted;

* I have done a whumpslist for the first season of Will Trent and the books by Karin Slaughter the TV show is based on, I'm still undecided whether to publish it or wait to complete them all. What would you prefer?;

* I’ve recently posted some new K-lists: Insider, Doctor Lawyer and updated Taxi Driver with the second season; I’ve also (FINALLY) completed the list for The K2, it will be posted in a couple of days; viceversa, it’s already online the whumpslist of Citadel but I really didn’t liked the show itself, many things were off...

As my plans for future binge watching and whumps’ lists:

* Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan new season will be released soon as the third season of The Witcher (I promise I have started to watch the second season of it and updating the list) which will be the last one I will do if it is true that Henry Cavill will no longer wear the clothes of Geralt of Rivia;

* I have The Musketeers list to complete (only a bunch of episodes left to review), and two seasons and half of The Last Ship;

* i have selected many K-dramas I want to watch this summer, I don’t know if any of them are worth of a whumpslist but I certainly hope so!

You can find all the lists and the links into the Whumpslist’s links Sheet here. Plus, I've made another sheet to include all my gifs, short clips and audios posted as Tumblr allows only a certain amount to links into a single post.

-- . .- -. .-- .... .. .-.. .

Meanwhile I’ve received many messages, I’ll gather the answers here.

Not sure if you've done this show yet, but, Queen of the South, it's on Netflix, has some great whump for character James Valdez 👌

Hi Anon, yes, I’ve seen some gifsets here and there but I’m not sure I would like the series itself. Still evaluating it.

Do you have a whumplist for Covert Affairs? Especially Auggie!

Maybe, @sharimae, but surely not in the foreseeable future, as I’ve already watched it back in the days.

Has the whump community gotten a hold of Lockwood and Co yet? if not y’all need to run to netflix rn!!!Anthony Lockwood is the PERFECT whumpee, but plenty goes around! not to mention there’s found family, hurt/comfort, angst, self sacrifice, tragic backstories, reckless boy with no self care, torture, electrocution, sword fights, ghosts can and will kill you (or put you into a coma), girl who can save the world and the boy who would die for her, gunshot wound, collapsing and needing to be supported, unconsciousness, powers are a burden… i could go on honestly

He’s cute, indeed, I’ll consider it.

brothers whump

Sorry, @s610ela, care to elaborate??

Hi!! I was wondering if you have any plan to continue the list for Jack Ryan? Thank you!

Hi there! As said above, I will certainly continue the list for this show.

Your Remington Steele gifs of 4x01 are an actual gift to the tiny Remington Steele fandom! Where did you get the episodes to use?! (If you don’t mind me asking lol)

Ah, my little me was SO in love with Remington Steele and enjoyed the sporadic whumps everytime they popped up! I made the gifs a while ago, I’m sorry I don’t remember where I retrieved the episode to do the gifset.

That’s all, folks!

[catdotjpeg]

The Israeli military has imposed ongoing sieges on at least three medical facilities in the besieged enclave, terrorizing, injuring, and killing thousands of civilians in the process.  Al-Shifa Hospital in northern Gaza has entered its seventh day under siege, and the civilians able to flee are reporting ruthless massacres in and around the medical complex.  A teenage Palestinian boy, Farouk Mohammed Hamd, told Al Jazeera he witnessed Israeli soldiers executing a group of eight people, including his father and brother, inside al-Shifa Hospital. He said he and the others were stripped of their clothing and moved several times inside the al-Shifa Hospital building in central Gaza over the course of hours before being taken to the top floor of the facility. “They left us for about three hours, then said, ‘You are safe. You can go south.”  “We stood up, but then they opened fire. We all laid down on the floor again. Then, the snipers entertained themselves by shooting us one after the other.” Hamad said his father told him before being killed to run away if he could, and he managed to run, but not before seeing the unresponsive bodies of the executed group. 

On Sunday, Doctors Without Borders (MSF) said its staff have reported “heavy air strikes by Israeli forces and fierce fighting” in the vicinity of al-Shifa hospital, “endangering patients, medical staff and people trapped inside with very few supplies.”

Jameel al-Ayoubi, one of the thousands of Palestinians sheltering at the hospital, saw Israeli tanks and armored bulldozers drive over at least four bodies in the hospital courtyard, AP News reports. Ambulances were also crushed, he says. Kareem Ayman Hathat, who lived in a five-story building about 100 meters (328 feet) from the hospital, told AP he hid in his kitchen for days waiting as explosions shook the building. “From time to time, the tank would fire a shell,” he said. “It was to terrorise us.”

MSF added that Israeli forces have carried out a mass-arrest campaign of medical staff and other people and that the organization is “deeply concerned” for the safety of those detained.

Meanwhile, another two hospitals in Khan Younis have been under Israeli military siege for the last 24 hours: al-Amal and Nasser hospitals, reports Al Jazeera correspondent Hani Mahmoud from Gaza.  “Military vehicles, tanks and attack drones are encircling these two facilities. They’re also blocking the entrance with piles of sand, preventing medical staff, patients and injured people inside from leaving safely and constantly failing to provide a safe corridor for people and evacuees trapped inside the hospital,” Mahmoud said. 

Palestinian Red Crescent (PRCS) gave their latest update on the situation in al Amal hospital on Sunday afternoon, saying Israeli tanks and armored vehicles have completely surrounded all entrances to the hospital and control any movement in and out. Israeli forces attacked the hospital earlier on Sunday, surrounding it with tanks and forcing nearly everyone inside, from patients to displaced Palestinians sheltering there, to evacuate. “What we’re getting confirmed from al-Amal Hospital is that not only has it been under constant bombing and tank shells, but loudspeakers are ordering people inside the hospital to come out only with their underwear on. And that has been confirmed by multiple sources and witnesses on the ground, those who managed to flee the harrowing situation,” Mahmoud added. 

On Sunday evening, the PRCS announced that they lost radio contact with their staff at the hospital.  While all displaced Palestinians and patients who could move independently were evacuated towards the al-Mawasi area west of Khan Younis, hospital staff remain, along with nine patients and their ten companions and a displaced family with children who have disabilities. PCRS says all of them need to be safely evacuated. PRCS added that staff member Amir Abu Aisha and a wounded individual who was being treated at the hospital after being shot in the head by the Israeli military were both killed, and their bodies need to be removed.

In a statement, Hamas said the Israeli military is systematically targeting hospitals across Gaza with the goal of displacing all Palestinians from their lands, showing Israel wants to continue its “war of extermination” against Palestinians and forcibly displace them from their land “by destroying all means of life in the Gaza Strip, especially hospitals,” reported Al Jazeera.

-- From "‘Operation Al-Aqsa Flood’ Day 171" by Leila Warah for Mondoweiss, 25 Mar 2024

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

I watched the Picard series finale

Going into this, I have chills 👀

Holy shit Seven looks hot as hell

AHHHHHHHH

She's so bad ass

Raffi my beloved 😍

Seven and Raffi looked at each other👀

Seven looks so done while the poor cook dude is explaining how his mom got sick and his brother got a hernia

"You got this." Just gonna think of her saying this whenever I feel like I'm struggling

AHHHH SHE'S ALL CAPTAINY AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW RAFFI HASN'T JUMPED HER😂

Oh shit

Jack is consumed by the collective 👀

The little smile Beverly exchanged with Jean-Luc

Worf: "And I will make it a threesome."

Will Riker: "Do you even hear yourself?" Oh my god😂😂 I'm dead

That look between Deanna and Will😭

If anything happens to either of them I'm gonna cry

Aw, Beverly is gripping that computer so hard

"I can no longer be your captain. I have to be a father"

Oh no

Does that mean he's gonna take Jack's place and die😭

Picard: "Beverly. Lead me to our son."

I'm crying "You did everything right." Oh damn 😭

OH SHIT VOX

Jack looks kinda awesome as Vox

OH SHIT

BORG QUEEN

I got chills

I am so creeped out rn

AHHHHHHHH

Raffi is Seven's number one

I'm so happy

The looks they keep sharing

I'm screaming with how they're finishing each other's train of thought

That poor Cook 😭😂

OOOOOOO SEVEN IS GIVING A SPEECH

I will fight under her

Raffi called Seven captain

Picard to Borg Queen: "You are not his mother!" AWWWWWWWWWWWW HE WON'T LET BEVERLY BE FORGOTTEN

Damn, this queen is bitter

HOLY SHIT

Oh no

Worf. He got zapped

Hope he still lives

"I had no idea it was that heavy." 😂

"We can't do this forever." Feels like she could be talking about more than their ship fighting

But I could be reaching

The way that Beverly fought so well and ruthlessly, and everyone turned slowly to look at her 😂

Beverly: "A lots happened in the last 20 years"😂

"Swords are fun." They really are

"no computer not even my daughter could navigate us through this." Love how proud he(Geordi) is of his kid

YEAH DATA!

Data: *tells them to trust him*

Also Data, seconds later: "Here goes nothing."

Deanna: "Wait what do you mean here goes nothing." Oh I'd hold on if I were you Deanna

The way Deanna is confused about why she senses enjoyment, meanwhile Data is living the dream 😂

OH SHIT

The earth is undefended 👀

Oh. Shit.

THE TITAN IS EXPOSED 👀

Sisters that assimilate together stick together (the La Forge sisters moving around the ship)

Seven's look of defeat 😭

Aw, the look between Saffi

Oh hell😭

"destroy the cube we kill everyone on there." Shit, Deanna is gonna need so much therapy

Beverly looks so freaking heartbroken I want to hug her 😭

"Will, the moment we fire, you'll have a minute at most." The emotion in her voice 😭

OH MY GOD

Oh MY GOD

OH MY GOD

OH. MY. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Damn, it hurts even more watching this knowing that if Will, Picard, Jack and Worf die, Deanna will feel it

Picard to his son: "If you won't leave, I'll stay with you till the end. You have changed my life. Forever." Oh damn😭

HOLY SHIT THE way Jack starts ripping out everything to save his dad

Will to Deanna: "I love you Imazati. We'll be waiting, me and our boy."😭

I'm sobbing

"I know where they are." oh thank God

I'm loving how Deanna goes to the console

Me at Jack: You're not alone, together we stand, I'll be by your side, and I'll take your hand. KEEEP HOOOOLDING OONNNNNNNN

OH MY GOD

Awwwww, Seven giving Sydney a hug😭

Pretty awesome looking armor jack is wearing 😂

Deanna and Will are adorable

Awww, three bros, chilling in spinny chairs

TO SAY I'M SCREAMING AT THE CLIP OF RAFFI, SEVEN, AND THE LA FORGE GIRLS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

I love how Worf is just snoozing away 😂

There's still like 22 minutes left, so plenty of time for something to go wrong, but I'm gonna bask in this brief moment of happiness

Oh my god

BEVERLY IS AN ADMIRAL

TUVOK MY BOY

AHHHHHHHH

Seven and Tuvok are talking

Acting Captain Seven of Nine: "I'm resigning from Starfleet." Aw😭

Aw, Shaw was a lil bit, kinda nice😭

Seven's crying 😭

My girl

AHHHHHHHH

Chills

Tuvok: "Resignation denied, Captain"

Raffi got to video chat with her grandbaby🥺

"Strangest thing. My son Gabe, wants me to meet my granddaughter." I'm sobbing😭

Worf leaked the info for her😭

Hell, I'm sobbing

So hard

AWWWWWWWWWWWW he's hugging her😭

Deanna is counseling Data😭

Wonder if he'll meet Daj

Deanna: "We've gone by our time over an hour. Again."😂😂😂

I love how Deanna is searching for beach vacation spots while Data is going on and on 😭😂

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes. Can't wait." Oh she's dreading it a bit

"Still batshit?"

"Stop it." I love them 😂

I wonder if Picard is gonna join Laris wherever she is

"I miss that voice." So do I 😭

"Admiral Picard, Admiral Crusher" AHHHHHHHHH

Ah, Jack is joining Starfleet, I'm sure that'll be a wise and interesting decision

"This is all you son, I'm very proud." AHHHHH

I just slapped my leg so hard

"We know your aversion to fanfare."😂

OH MY GOD

She's beautiful (the ship)

"Out." 😂

"Thank you Number One."

"You're so very welcome, Captain." I. Am. So HAPPY

I AM SO HAPPY

SO HAPPY

Jack's the special counselor to the Captain 😂 this is great

Raffi: "Your first official act of command."

Jack: "Writing the opening line to your legacy, so then, what will it be?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I WANT TO KNOW MORE

Beverly is so drunk😂

Worf has an adorable voice 😂

A different planet vs Orlando?😂 How random

Oh my god I'm screaming

They're gonna play poker!!!

*slams down on table* I fold OK?

So ... Is Laris just chilling in a restaurant, waiting on Picard? 🤔

Feels like they forgot about her

HOLY SHIT

HoLy ShIt

The way it's an old pic of Gates and Patrick 😂

I love that Q is still alive 👀

Oh, I'm screaming. Like so much

This was so good and idk what I'm gonna do with myself now.

[greatdevourer1231954]

Mortals

Humans can be seen as the most insignificant race in the Nine Realms, but this is far from reality, because without them, the gods would not survive.

Who are they

The mortals of Norse mythology usually gets involved with the Norse gods in various stories of being servants, heroes, warriors or cursed by magical items. As time passed, Norse mythology would later get intertwined with real Nordic history and tell mythological stories of legendary rulers who might or might not have existed such as the first rulers of Denmark (Skjöldungs) and Sweden (Ynglings).

In my AU, the Skjöldungs and Ynglings did in fact exist, with Skjöldr being the Skjöldungs first ruler.

Origins

In my AU, there was a certain mystery as to how humans ended up in the nine kingdoms, but the most accurate theory is that just as many animals ended up in Madagascar, many humans arrived on rafts made from trees.

In my AU, one of these mortal groups, was found by none other than Odin and his brothers, who credited themselves in creating the first man, Ask, and the first woman, Embla.

Because of this lie, many humans began to look up to the gods, seeing the Aesirs as the protectors of Midgard and defenders of mortals.

While mortals do exist outside of Midgard such as Asgard and Vanaheim, they aren't classified as Midgardians, but as Asgardians and Vanirians.

History

Midgardians are known to be at war with one another as they are in disagreement of worshipping either the Aesir or Vanir gods. If a mortal dies in battle, then that mortal afterlife shall go to either Valhalla or Folkvangr with the help of the Valkyries or Shield Maidens depending on which Norse gods they worship.

If a mortal does not die in battle or without worshipping any of the Norse gods then they will end up in Hel and turn into mindless Hel-Walkers. If mortals choose to deny their death, then they will come back to life as Draugrs who fights uncontrollably until someone kills them which results in them moving onto the afterlife.

In rare occasions, mortals can be stuck between the mortal realm and the afterlife as incorporeal spirits if they got an improper death and have no deity available to help them move onto the afterlife.

Status

As far as many know, most of the Midgardians are in hiding or have been turned into the undead as the Nine Realms are out of sync, caused by the event known as The Desolation.

Vanirians due to the constant invading progress of the Aesirs have tried to keep themselves hiding with magic, while some started to use Seidr magic, corrupting themselves and becoming toxic and poisonous monsters.

Meanwhile, Asgardians are living a very luxurious life, with abundant food and prosperous peace, not knowing that their gods will soon use them for something horrible.

Abilities

Mortal Resilience: Mortals have an innate ability to endure and withstand incredible amounts of physical and magical damage. This resilience allows them to survive attacks that would typically incapacitate or kill lesser beings. As mortals fight and gain experience, their resilience grows, making them increasingly formidable opponents even against gods and monsters.

Adaptive Mastery: Mortals possess a unique adaptability that allows them to learn and master new combat techniques and strategies rapidly. When faced with a new opponent or situation, mortals can quickly analyze and adapt, turning their enemies' strengths against them. This ability makes mortals unpredictable and dangerous adversaries, capable of outmaneuvering even the most skilled of opponents.

Ancestral Insight: Mortals have a connection to their ancestors that grants them access to ancient knowledge and wisdom. Through meditation and reflection, mortals can tap into this ancestral insight, gaining valuable guidance and advice that can aid them in their quests and endeavors. This ability allows mortals to learn from the mistakes and triumphs of those who came before them, enabling them to make more informed decisions and avoid repeating past errors.

Spiritual Empowerment: Mortals possess a latent connection to the spiritual energies of the world, allowing them to channel these energies to enhance their physical and magical abilities. Through meditation and communion with the natural world, mortals can tap into this spiritual power, temporarily boosting their strength, speed, and resilience. This ability also grants mortals limited control over elemental forces, allowing them to manipulate fire, water, earth, and air to a certain extent.

Divine Intervention: An unique ability that allows mortals to temporarily borrow a fraction of the power and magic of the gods, granting them immense strength and abilities beyond their natural limits. However, this power comes at a cost, as mortals must be willing to endure great physical and mental strain to harness the its full potential. Additionally, the gods may demand a price for their assistance, requiring mortals to fulfill a quest or task in exchange for their aid. Divine Intervention is a last resort for mortals facing overwhelming odds, providing them with a fleeting but potent advantage in the face of adversity.

Mortals possess several attributes and qualities that can make them more dangerous than gods in certain situations:

Adaptability: Mortals are incredibly adaptable creatures, capable of learning and mastering new skills and strategies rapidly. Unlike gods, who may rely on their innate powers and abilities, mortals can quickly adjust their tactics to exploit their opponents' weaknesses. This adaptability makes mortals unpredictable and difficult to anticipate in combat, giving them an edge against more powerful but less flexible adversaries.

Resourcefulness: Mortals are resourceful beings, able to use their surroundings to their advantage in ways that gods may overlook. Whether it's crafting makeshift weapons from scavenged materials or leveraging their knowledge of terrain to gain the upper hand in battle, mortals excel at making the most of limited resources. This resourcefulness allows mortals to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles through cunning and ingenuity, posing a significant threat to even the mightiest of gods.

Tenacity: Mortals possess an unparalleled tenacity and resilience that enables them to endure hardship and persevere in the face of adversity. Unlike gods, who may grow complacent or overconfident due to their immortality and invulnerability, mortals understand the value of determination and perseverance. This tenacity allows mortals to keep fighting even when the odds are stacked against them, refusing to surrender or back down in the face of overwhelming opposition.

Unity: Mortals have the ability to form alliances and work together toward a common goal, pooling their resources and talents to overcome challenges that no individual could face alone. While gods may possess immense power as individuals, mortals can achieve feats of strength and courage through collective action and cooperation. This unity allows mortals to stand united against even the most formidable foes, combining their strengths to achieve victory where gods might falter due to arrogance or infighting.

Overall, while gods may be more powerful in terms of raw strength and magical abilities, mortals possess qualities such as adaptability, resourcefulness, tenacity, and unity that can make them incredibly dangerous adversaries in the right circumstances.

Conclusion

Although they may be seen as a weak and pathetic race, humans are not to be underestimated, for if they are left unwatched, they can be just as dangerous and greedy as the gods they cherish.